#He rejec

[unganseylike]

briefly fell in love w a farmers market man. after i left, i was sitting on a bench enjoying an empanada i bought when some random dude starts talking to me and asks me out. im like sorry youre not dream farmers market man. and you disrupted my peaceful empanada time.

[cultum]

+he blog is +ruly. no+ good for my ego.

[beomnoullitheorem]

“Fucking Lost”

—“Let's get lost together, if we're bound to.”

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• Genre : Fluffy Smut, a little bit of angst, 18+ [NSFW]

• Trope : College AU? They're about to finish college though, friends to lovers I guess? Forced proximity? Not really.

• Starring : Non-idol!Hyuka × Obsessed!Reader

• Note : The characters in the following fiction are 18+ and everything happening around & to them is entirely consensual. Written in multiple perspectives.

→ Reader is described with pronouns like She/Her.

• Disclaimer : This is all PURE FICTION. I do not implicate any kind of reflection of the happenings/character morals etc in here to the idols' real life characters, morals etc.

→ The following content contains Mature themes and Strong languages. The content could be upsetting to some readers as well. MUST read the Warnings & Disclaimer before scrolling dow further. Reader discretion is advised.

• Word Count : 9.1k+

• Plot Warnings : INACCURATE DESCRIPTIONS OF FOREST AND STUFF RELATED TO IT, Obsessed!Possessive!Reader, Subtly-Obsessed!Kai as well? He doesn't admit his feeling at the beginning. Reader doesn't let any girl date Kai, Kai rejects a date reader arranges, Unspoken feelings, They are TRAPPED IN A FOREST, A little amount of arguments, They both argue and shut each other up as they kiss each other, A little jealous Kai, reader calls Kai an idiot in concern and anger and Kai calls her stupid, that's all I guess? They are saved by their friends group in the end.

• Smut Warnings : [MDNI] Consensual Sex, a little of Lovey-dovey Sex, Soft-Dominant!Kai, Submissive!Reader, Unprotected Sex (do not commit this, do use protections!), Pet names (Pretty, good girl, Love, Little Nugget, Cockslut, little miss slut) Confessions while sex (sort of but Kai shuts her up), Sex on huge rock (reader is rested on it), Dirty talking + fluttering compliments, nipple play, make outs, Multiple orgasms, Various positions, Slight dumbification and degradation if we squint, Loud sex as well and etc. Lemme know if I should add more.

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READER'S PERSPECTIVE :

Kai Kamal Huening. Or Huening Kai which he refers himself as. The love of my life. I've realized it two years ago. Boys? They're a waste of time. Or that's what I thought. Until he came along.

And now it's the last year. I might get separated from him forever.

It has all started when I was transferred to this college & I am studying with him. Two years ago, I stepped into this place that has so awaken the lover in me. I just love him. I mean he'd be soo good as my boyfriend. My lover. Please. I want him. Badly.

I swoon over him. I thrive off of his presence. I crave his attention. I yearn for his love. Be it friendship. I wanna be his friend. But not the friend-zoned friend. His friend who's a perfect girlfriend material for him.

It's crazy I've gotten into his notice. I mean, what the fuck? It's like every girl in the campus wants him. And... I'm not guilty or anything... but I feel bad since I might have pissed him off and hurt him.. as I didn't let any girl come and confess to him.

In simple words, to every girl who tried to confess and propose him, I directly tricked her into not going to him or something. I just threatened only those who were stubborn and dared to not back down.

Well... that kind of noted me for the things I haven't committed. For the love of God, I just told those gossiping bitches that I wouldn't let them live in peace.

Whole college girls at a point didn't approach him because I existed.

It was like this, until he finally decided to talk to me. Well, he didn't talk to me exactly, he kind of warned me to not meddle into his life, in the middle of hallway. Uh, I simply nodded along making it unclear. Unknown at what I agreed to.

To my surprise, after that newbies and some other girls did confess and tried to date him. And he rejected them. Not that I have ever complained but why didn't he let me do that? So he wanted to show me that I don't have to fear about girls nearing him? I didn't know nor do I.

That have had arised a fear in me that if I were to ever confess to him, he might reject me. For which, I have never tried so. He is so unapproachable. I tried to get him into a date with me. Well, it was a rejection in the end anyway. So, I know for sure that he won't be mine and I still want to be his. I have started to admire my love from afar since then.

Oh right, I never introduced myself. I am ＿＿＿. I'm the senior student in the Noulli's University Of Science And Arts. I'm a biology major, wanna be an expert with plants. Right, after my family and Kai, plants are the things I live for. My obsession ranges from identifying a random grass plant outside to build a lots of fucking tree houses to live forever, where there are all plants and their related books. I've one tree house though.

And Kai, wait- AH! I forgot. We are trapped in the forest. Actually, I somehow managed to befriend this unapproachable, only-cold-to-me, reserved guy. I have befriended Choi Soobin, and he had me befriending everyone else : Choi Yeonjun, Choi Beomgyu, Kang Taehyun and... him.

So.. they invited me to their picnic. Actually, Taehyun wanted to go to remote area. For which we had planned everything, to not to get lost in this area as well but screw my obsession with plants. I was told to get firewood and I went along the forest.

I saw those flying amanitas! Those red white-spotted mushrooms I always see in those cartoons and all, I saw them and started following those mushrooms. And I lost my way back. I have no idea where I am. And this idiot, the love of my life have come to me.

—END OF READER'S PERSPECTIVE—

KAI'S PERSPECTIVE:

I have no idea where I can start the whole thing that I've been experiencing since two years and it has become no to avail for coming to an end. It was all fine.

I knew myself very well and had my life planned out . Actually I wanna be with myself and my dear ones. I'm just pursuing my dream of being journalist. Or that's what I thought, until she came along.

Well. Everything becomes upside down when it's her. I just don't know. I have no idea who she actually is. She is so overprotective over me. No. It's not overprotective. She is completely possessive. I'm a being. I'm not a thing/person to be objectified. Though she didn't objectify me.

She has no rights to intervene in my love life. I know she loves me. But I don't. That's enough of a reason. I have many reasons not to reciprocate her feelings back.

She meddled into my life. She didn't approach me directly. She never once talked to me. But she influenced my life without having any encounter with me. And I didn't even create some subtle vibration in her life tracks till now. She made me the most unapproachable guy. Not that I care about any rumors, it somehow did trouble me.

She saved me from those infectious girls in the college. I do appreciate that but who was she to me? No one. I mean, she could atleast have some alliance or some kind of agreement with me. Something with me.

And she didn't. I let it be as it is was. Until she piqued the interest of my friend, Soobin. Boom! he got her into our friends group. She even immediately befriended everyone! But I just don't know... what I should do....

Hence, I didn't let down my walls. But who has me searching for them in the middle of woods, at dusk?

＿＿＿＿. Her.

Fuck you Taehyun! Who has asked you to choose a damn restricted and remote area. It's a forest. There might be wildlife here.

"Go. SeArCh FoR hEr. YOU dOn'T wAnT hEr ReMnAnT bOnEs. FrEsH mEaT. ReAdY tO bE EATEN." (Note the sarcasm of Kai in here)

And I even agreed to this. Why? Couldn't Taehyun, Soobin, Yeonjun or Beomgyu give me company?

"It Is FuCkInG dAyLiGhT. GeT hEr, ChIcKeN!"

She was sent for firewood and she is lost in woods. God knows where she is and I can't seem to find her.

"＿＿＿＿! ＿＿＿＿! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!"

I screamed. I started going to the place where there were these mushrooms, weird plants and literally that scenery of forest we look at, in the internet.

The forest seemed weird. There were no longer the Jusses, silver maples, birches, cedars, eucalyptuses etc. There were so many strange plants. Creepers, cuscutas, huge banyans etc. Don't ask me why I know plants now. I just couldn't ignore this garrulous annoyance of human being, who had always talked about plants to the guys explaining every damn species and I couldn't ignore her.

Is this the same world I see in those movies? Am I really with humans? Where are dinosaurs?

Dear dinosaurs, I have your plushies. I'm your fan. But not a fan of you eating me– These intrusive thoughts, stop please. But what about wildlife? A lion or tiger completing my flesh and breaking my bones to eat my bone marrow?

FUCKING INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS- SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I was walking and walking. I couldn't find any signs of her. I kept yelling her name, at this point I have known that I'm lost, lost in woods. I am lost, searching for her... who is lost herself.

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I SCREAM! some of the birds from trees fly out. I'm lost... I'm fucking lost! I'M SO LOST!

KAI.. Calm yourself. You either search for ＿＿＿, and get together with her. Or just rot here.

So I follow my own command, I keep on yelling her name. Walking towards where these weird trees transcend. At my constant yelling of her name in the woods, after a while, I hear some voice... it is hers. "KAI! I CAN HEAR YOU!"

"＿＿＿＿! HERE! FOLLOW MY VOICE!"

And I keep yelling to get her appearing into my sight.... My legs subconsciously start pacing in a velocity that's more than the a normal one... I AM RUNNING TOWARDS HER!

Looking at me running at obviously no reason, she increases her pace and runs to me, She collides her body with, burying her face into my neck and embracing me. I tighten our collision and hug her tight.. my arms naturally wrap around hee torso and I push her into myself. It's so comforting and reassuring...

But why? Why does hugging her makes me feel full? And I don't wanna lose this!

I feel although I'm lost in a forest, I have her and I've no need to worry.. This is exactly what I don't intend to feel and yet.. She is propelling me to feel all of this..

What are you doing to me, Little Nugget?

—END OF KAI'S PERSPECTIVE—

READER'S PERSPECTIVE :

This idiot, his voice shrilled through the whole woods... I am right, they're searching for me... it's been like an hour or two, I've been walking. My tired pace of walking halts when I hear an unclear nasal voice, that almost seemed like Kai's.

As I follow that voice, it becomes clearer than before confirming IT IS KAI SEARCHING FOR ME! My eyes immediately wrinkle into happiness curves and my heaving increases as I run towards that voice. Yes, I want him in my arms. I felt too lonely without him. Don't care if he shoves me away, I'm going to hug him tight. So tight that he can not escape my hold..

I too scream at him, allowing him to have a sense of direction as he comes to locate me; my voice is completely desperate. His physique comes into my sight and my happiness peaks through the limits, increasing my speed... I run to him, clashing into his body and hugging him tight!

It was all me until I feel a pair of large arms encircling around my torso that is glued to his... am I dreaming? KAI HUGGED ME! UGH I'M MALFUNCTIONING!!

No way I'm leaving him now, I'm going to Hug him tighter! And just like that, I stop tip toeing and relax myself in his embrace, this feels good... I'm completely in his arms and that makes me feel so loved... though he doesn't love me....

Kai you're my once in a lifetime dream come true! His heartbeat is fastening I can hear it! And so is mine. He makes my heart beat again, just like how he always does with his presence... now I might start to like the fact that I'm lost in woods. Lost In Woods with him...

Oh okay, I might make him uncomfortable if I just hold him tighter and longer so... I retrieve myself from hugging him... he looks a little breathless...

"Kai, breath for a while? You're breathless," I advise him earning a scoff from him. I question him with raising my eyebrows, what did I do to earn that scoff? "As if you aren't breathless yourself panting like that," He remarks at me. Ah, I did run to him and am panting now.. I literally suck at sports. I am panting as I hugged him and overjoy made my panting audible to him lol.

—END OF READER'S PERSPECTIVE—

"Thank God, you're not eaten away..." He mutters into her ear, sighing in relief.

"Thank God you're alive as you searched for me," She smiles in reassurance, "But you shouldn't have come for me."

"What do you mean by that, ＿＿＿＿?"

"You shouldn't have been... that's it," That's all she manages to say as she still is lost in the feeling of his embrace to which his subtle soaring happiness dropped down..

Does she not want him to be with her? That thought starts plaguing Kai's mind. He feels a little pang at her words to which he, gets onto his guard again. He turns nonchalant and she does notice this change in his little demeanor.

Kai reminds, "We're Fucking lost...." She feels guilty that she pulled him into this mess and god knows if others are searching for her.. "I know... I'm sorry," She confesses, "I shouldn't have followed those magical plants."

"I know that and what matters now is........ you're safe."

"But Kai, Others are searching for me too and this forest... God know what animals dwell in here! I can't imagine where else they are and what they encountering with!"

"No one else is searching, it's just me to your rescue."

"YOU IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU SEARCH FOR ME ALONE? DO YOU NOT HAVE A LITTLE OUNCE OF SELF CONCERN THAT YOU MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE FOR ME? WHO KNOWS IF YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE FOUND ME YOU MIGHT HAVE STARVED UNTIL YOU'VE FOUND THE ROAD!!" She yells at him in worry grabbing his collar. "Don't tell me that what we ate in the car is the last thing you ate," Her voice dies down as she can't see her man suffering.

Dumbfounded Kai just mutters a little, "Uhm... I ate a little junk and then guys have asked me to fetch you..."

His answer to her, lights her eyes up & she sighs a low thank God, closing her eyes and looking up as though she really did converse with God.

"I found some wild fruits, they're edible and sour. Not exactly sour or not exactly sweet. They're just edible as the plant is a fruiting plant and I'm still alive so it's not poisonous," She says as she draws out some fruits from her jeans pocket.

"Save them for later," Kai suggests, "if we have to spend the night here, we might eat these."

"Shall we go and fetch some more?" She asks.

"Sure, if they're not enough..."

"Follow me!"

"Okay."

And Kai follows her as she takes him to the tree. Uh-oh. The fruits that were down to her reach are plucked and eaten by her. There are some, which she can reach if she gets help..

"Kai, they're up. We might need to climb the tree."

"I don't know how to. Do you?"

"Me neither."

Kai pauses for a moment. "I've an Idea," He goes to her, who's close to the tree. "What's that Kai?" She asks. He moves closer to her to which she steps aside. Kai rolls his eyes at her sudden action. "Why did you step aside?" He asks her to which she answers, "Maybe cause I was in your way?"

"I need you for that idea," Kai confessed.

"Okay tell me what I can do?"

"Stay still, be composed & balanced."

"Okay."

Kai goes to her. He is standing infront of her. But, he is dangerously close to her. He crouches down and snakes his arms around the down of her buttocks. And he picks her up. She almost pops her eyes out in surprise as he stood inches away from her and crouched down—

He picks her up and she composes herself to not fall. Why did he carry her like that? "What the fuck Kai– what is this for?"

"You can reach the fruits now, get those."

"Oh, O-Okay."

He moves closer to the tree, "I'm already carrying your ass, can't you guide me with some directions? That overwhelmed already?"

"Oh my fucking God! Kai— is that you, my Love? Move a little backwards and left...... Good. I'll throw down the fruits," She plucks the fruits using his help. Him actually teasing her has her in a chokehold. For a person who always loves him and after some rejection she didn't expect this to happen.

At one side it is her racing heart completely overwhelming her as she is just close to him... body to body close! At other side she has to get fruits. She couldn't distinguish between a leaf and a fruit, that's how affected she is.

"Move to the right Kai," She gestures. He moves to his right and while he walks, she loses her balance, shaking vigorously as she is so up onto him. She grips onto his shoulders and lowers head down with a panicked "Ah!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, careful ＿＿＿＿!" Kai chants in panick as well but he halts his movements as she lowers her head down to his ears; her breath whispers into his ears. As he stills, she slowly pulls her head up, looking at Kai... their faces inches away from each other.

Flustered Kai just oscillates his gaze from her lips to her eyes which has her gulping hard. Oh how he can feel her breath onto his face, fanning and unusually hot.

KAI'S PERSPECTIVE :

No no no! This is not fair! My subconscious system did not just made me carry her and now we're close as fuck. She breathes heavily, I can feel that. She is not focusing on plucking fruits, I know that.

And what about me? I'm malfunctioning myself as she places her hands onto my shoulders and how her boobs just rest onto my hair as she leans into my face to grab fruits. This is insane, I never noticed her boobs until now and they're too plushy. "You wanna squish them," the voice inside me announces. "No I don't!" I deny.

I deny knowing damn well, there's a lot more I deny Which I should admit internally as my subconscious suggests.

I could even smell her citrus scent oozing out her clothes and making me dizzy. I like such scents and it wouldn't be too bad to smell her like this? Oh no Kai, just shut the fuck up & walk properly!

But this is insane! She doesn't have any fucking need to lose her balance and breathe near my ears. That's kind of heating me up.... and if she has to pull back, why can't she do it in one go?

She pulls back so slowly and halts as her lips are centimeters apart from mine. My eyes immediately look at her lips which are too tempting. No, I shouldn't. I don't like her at all. Why did I come to her? Why do her words affect in a way they shouldn't?

Her throat bobs down, as though it's something that has her in a chokehold and me? I find myself letting lout a breath that I didn't know I was holding...

This dangerous proximity that she and I now are sharing... it's too tempting to just break it. The feeling of her having like this, so close to me? It's so unnecessarily good that though I want her put her down, my hands just don't seem to move or it's my system forbidding my denials of our tension.

Don't look at me like that... I don't wanna lose my control. It's on thin ice now.

Little Nugget, you drive me fucking insane and I hate that I do like it....

Silence. That's what I hear among us. The wind from the trees around flows, the sound of leaves etc echoes and our breaths too. Her gaze too lingers into my eyes and then travels down. What are you willing to do?

—END OF KAI'S PERSPECTIVE—

She can't handle the heat. She might end up kissing him. "I picked- eno-enough fruits... Let m-me down?"

"Ah, yeah," Kai lets her down. Turning away and fanning himself using hands, he huffs out. She turns away, placing her hands on her chest and whispering, "That's okay, this was just the heat of the moment, you are just flustered that was not an almost-kiss at all..!!"

Little did she miss her man fanning himself at their little tension, she is completely unaware of her effect on him. She gathers her courage and herself.

She grabs all the fruits and fills them in her jeans's pockets. She hands the rest to Kai who fills his pockets with those fruits. Rest of them in his T-shirt's pocket at his chest and in his jackets pockets.

They look like kid buddies who sneak at nights to steal some chocolates but densely caught because they're having pocket full of it.

They look a little awkward but animals don't rate their outfits. And anything for survival so both of them hold back laughter at how funny they look to each other.

She finally calms herself and he does too.

"It's not dark... so shall we walk? Do you atleast remember your way back or are you suffering the same as me?" She asks, earning an agreeing hum from Kai.

"I don't remember, Suffering the same as you with you," Answers Kai, "Yep let's walk till it darkens."

"We just need to find the road," She professes rolling her eyes at him and Kai nods to it.

"Which way shall we go? Shall we decide with rock-paper-scissors?" Kai asks. "Yep, let's decided on its basis," She replies.

Both of them say a "Rock-paper-Scissors" in unison and he lets out an o as he drew the paper and she drew the scissors. "Let's go this way," She points to some direction and Kai nods along to her decision.

They walk with no sense of direction, completely based on whims and praying that they find the road. In order to lighten up the situation, she tries some lines at him.

"Kai, can I call you Mangifera? You make me feral and you're magnificent and you're my mango!" She chirps at him. He grimaces at that and taunts, "No thanks."

"What about Solaminum Tuberosome?" She chirps again.

"What the fuck is that?"

"You're my serious cute potato!"

He scoffs an irrestible laugh at her, sarcastic in the end, remarking at her— "You're sick."

"No I'm not! You just can't handle my lines at you. So you just shrug me off this way."

"You're delusional."

"Uh, not exactly when I can make you mine at any moment."

"In your dreams."

"Are you chlorophyll? Because I'm drawn to you like a plant to sunlight."

He looks at her, stopping his pace. Just a poker face trying to hide his smile.

"Did it work?"

"What?"

"My pick up line."

"I was wondering if God is with you or not, cause you need him bad. You're absolutely sick."

"You meanie, that's called lovesick!"

"All I hear is blah blah blah, are you perhaps some lamb?"

"Fuck you!"

"In your dreams, again."

"Really? What if I actualize it soon Kai?"

"You'll never, until and unless I let you."

She goes close to him and tip toes, looking intensely in his eyes. She lowly says, "What if you will let me?"

"That will forever be a 'what if' it will never be real."

"I wish to change that," She seriously confesses to which Kai also moves closer and says, "You'll always fail."

This is new. Kai never talked this much to her. And she's enjoying this. Also, her heart feels a pang at his harsh words that just reject her. She feels it's better to keep going than bickering as the sun has already set and it's darkening.

"Fine you won!"

"This is exactly why you shouldn't let your friend know that you love him."

"Thanks for the lesson, Monk."

"You're always welcome for preaching, Lady."

READER'S PERSPECTIVE :

He really is a mean idiot. I don't know anymore if I hate him or love him. He knows I love him and he's using it against me. But he has never talked this much to me. That feels good. Though he bickers awful with me.

But once again, we find each other close. Being in this forest is now making me feel like loving it and getting lost forever. Maybe this way he'll come to love me? No stop your weird thoughts ＿＿＿＿! You're making him fall for you, in normal TPO.

We almost kissed. That's insane. Will he.... perhaps let me hold his hands? I'm kind of scared ( a straight lie ). "Kai?" I call him out and he looks at me. "What?"

"I'm scared," I lie, only to see if he is willing to hold hands with me or not. I love him, can't I atleast try to get him? "And...?" He nonchalantly asks.

"Let me hold hands with you?" I shamelessly say it out. "What does that has to do with you being scared?"

"What if I'm pulled away by some monsters? This is becoming scary... the only light here is from the moon."

"Monsters don't exist."

"But I just don't wanna lose you... I'm scared. What if we're both separated by two animals trying to eat us?"

He stops and and grabs my arms. HE ENTAGLES MY ARMS WITH HIS! A WORLD PAUSE! MY MAN ENTAGLED HIS ARMS WITH MINE!

Is it okay if I just rest my head on his shoulder and walk lazily ahead? This feels a crime so good! No, he's my favourite crime to commit. This feels so good, I love it!

—END OF READER'S PERSPECTIVE—

KAI'S PERSPECTIVE :

She's been spamming at me with her weird ass pick up lines that just keep on fluttering my heart. They just are, I've no idea why it's happening. As if her lines at me aren't enough, she asks, "Let me hold hands with you?"

NO! LIKE YESSING— I MEAN NO-ING NO!

"That's something you and your heart can't handle," my subconscious is conscious again. Ugh, stop being as delusional as her subconscious! "No I'm stating facts!"

Again. Shut the fuck up for a while subconscious.

She spouts some random non-sense. And then at last she says, "But I don't wanna lose you... I'm scared. What if we're separated by two animals trying to eat us?"

Animals. Animals! She's right. We haven't come across, doesn't mean we aren't going to come across any. We are! No. I ain't being eaten alone. I've a partner now. I wish to die with her! She's my partner!

No way. Holding hands is like some weak bond. I'll fucking have her arms locked with mine. Just you wait and watch! If we're meant to die and to be eaten, we'll die and be eaten together!

And that's how I entwine my arms with hers. My sudden selfish action gets out some real surprised reaction from her but she slowly relaxes her entwined arm in mine. I'm so cunning, I'm sorry heavens.

And we walk. Walk. Arms interlocked. Her smiling at this and me hiding back mine.

"You like having her around you," My subconscious again. No I don't! It's just I'm forced now. She can't die alone, I will have to be there for her. "Sure whatever helps you sleep at nights, I can't believe I'm your subconscious. "

Get lost! "Sure I will." My subconscious is bickering with me, wow. But.. This feels... good. Having her arms with mine.. is just so... nice.

"Kai....!" She breathes, "Let's rest. We're lost. Completely lost."

"I know," I reply, "There's that huge rock over there," I point towards a rock that catches my eye. She hurries me to walk till there, while she her holds her knees, breathing in and out, as though she had run a marathon. She has been walking for god knows how long, before I have had met her.

She must be tired... it's better if we rest now. And we hurry there. She uses her feet to sweep off the leaves and seats herself down. I take out all the fruits and place them down. Wait– what's that? Is that my phone? MY PHONE?! WHY DID I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT IT?!

"＿＿＿＿!" I call her out, smiling so happily, "I've my phone!!"

"What??? KAI YOU'RE OUR SAVIOUR! JUST TRY SENDING OUR LOCATION TO BOYS AND GIRLS!"

"Yes Yes, I'm on it. Let me call someone and let them know we're fine."

As I opened my phone, I saw no call notifications. I opened caller app, there's nothing. Why didn't no one call me? That's not what matters Huening! Just call someone. I immediately find my recent call log and call Yeonjun Hyung's. My calls aren't working. There are signals! Oh fuck no towers!! As I call other guys and girls, there's nothing to avail. No signals.

"＿＿＿＿," I call her, my voice literally having zero happiness which she does notice. "Kai, what's wrong?"

"No towers... no signals... this phone is utterly of waste." I confess, falling down at my knees in sheer dissapointment. I'm SO PISSED OFF AT THIS UGH!

She nears me and cups my cheeks. "That's okay," She cajols, "I'll use this fetch some fire wood."

"Don't get lost again," I say as I'm reminded that I can still use this for light.

She gets up and takes my phone. Turning on the flashlight. Wait, I'll go with her. This darkened night... feels awfully alright when I'm with her..

"I'm coming," I get up, "Let's get lost together if we're bound to."

"Haha, so funny Kai." She finds some firewood and hands them to me. I helpfully take them all as she places them in my arms. So we collect a handful of some wood that she said is alright to burn, and we return. To our little Rocky home. "Last thing! I forgot!"

"What's it?"

"That's stone's to lit up some fire and some dry leaves to catch that spark! Atleast a pad/plane like wood so I can make fire."

"Oh fuck, we weren't just collecting firewood without having anything to make some."

"I know right? Let's take both the means."

"Sure."

And she successfully finds the things she mentioned to get. We walk back and seat ourselves. We collected a lot. That's gonna be enough till the dawn.

"Kai, can you check the stones if they make fire when we strike them together? Till then I'll check if I can make fire using the pad like wood and sticks."

"Yep, will be on it," I say.

I take the stones and strike them against each other. Nope, these are a fail. Another two, fail. Mixing the pair trying out, wait– this one feels fiery. I'll try this one with others. So I keep going at it.

And after a few minutes, I succeed! Yes, they do produce sparks! I look over at her.. she's been spinning a stick at the wood for a while getting some smokes. Well, she doesn't have to strain on it anymore!

"Hey, don't strain on it, let's arrange the sticks. The stones do produce sparks!" I cheer her, to which she smiles at me. And stops her strain.

"Good, I'll arrange the sticks."

"I'll help."

"Sure."

—END OF KAI'S PERSPECTIVE—

They help eachother out. They coordinate well together. But he's just too adamant to accept that he likes being around her and admires her.

She arranges the fire sticks into a conical tent, places some dry leaves and strikes the stones onto eachother.

At n attempts, she finally lits up the leaves and makes fire. Overjoyed Kai just cheers some yays and wohoos immediately slaps his palms onto hers; which are already ready for a high-five!

"We won't freeze tonight," Kai exclaims, "All because of you Nugget!" He warms his hands to the fire and so does she. She and he seat themselves on the ground; her laying her back onto the rock.

Wait, what? Did she hear him right? He called her a Nugget! "That's so fucking cute," She exclaims to herself. Did he just call her the nickname he so hidden from her itself? Yes, he did and now watch him divert the topic.

"So, learning Biology...like teaches you how to survive?"

"Uh no, I as a child was fascinated by getting lost in forest and then actually you know to understand about trees, I read books about survival. Later my plant knowledge added to it. Didn't ever expect that it would be used today."

"Makes sense. That's you completely."

"I know right? I just love plants and trees."

"More than anything?"

"Uhm, no."

"What's the first thing you love?"

"My family, the first; the love of my life, the second; my passion for being a plant expert, the third and Myself, the last."

"So who's that love of your life? Don't tell now it's me."

She grimaces at him. "Is he for real now? Fine, I'll play a bit," she thinks.

"Uhm, yeah... I guess it's not you, anymore. There is this guy though, in your group. I wish he was the who found me here–"

Those same words that panged his heart which he denied before are rung in his ears again and he loses his shit at that.

"Oh hell no! I'm not taking this shit no more. You stupid girl, shouldn't you be glad that atleast I found you? Like now you're being picky about who has to find you? Even when we met as we're lost, you said it shouldn't have been me. Why did I risk myself, getting lost in this damn forest... only for you to say, 'iT sHoUlD nOt hAvE bEeN YoU KaI,' or something like, 'i WiSh He WaS tHe OnE wHo fOuNd mE hErE— Like what am I? A chopped liver? Do you know how much you affect me? How upside down my life has turned the moment you stepped into it? No like, without even meeting/talking to me you just flipped my life upside down and even when I'm like cursing the life out of you, you just stare at me! Do I not affect you the same– oh no, you're not coming close to me and then just stare at me–"

Kiss. She kisses him. The man who was just now rambling all his curses at her is shut up now. She shushed him with her lips onto his. She pulls back, "Sorry, kissing you seemed the only way to Shush you." He widens his eyes at the feeling of her lips.

This is reckless. He might hate her. She didn't know what to do. Continuing his argument seemed the only way to make him forget about the kiss.

"And you mister! Wait a damn minute. When I said it shouldn't have been you, I meant that I didn't want you to be the one searching for me. Like what if, WHAT IF, you hadn't found me? What would you be doing now? Waiting to be eaten or rotten? No I'm not picky about it. Hell I'm overjoyed that it's you. And it's not my fucking problem that you ain't affecting me in YOUR point of view. If you had ever given me a chance, I'd literally would have shown you how my greenery filled life became a rainbow because of you! You even said no to my date and never talked to me fully. Hell I felt like we were just some damn name-sake friends because you're fucking reserved. All the times I tried to talk you ignored me. I did everything I could to get you to me but all I could manage to get was not you but your reserved and distant treatment! And you want me to say what? I love you? Knowing damn well that you fucking terrify me of the rejection? I can't imagine being rejected by you! And that guy I just mentioned is you, you prick! Now tell me what do I—"

Kiss. He kisses her NOW to shut her up. Chill out Kai, she's just trying to distract you by continuing the argument. The woman is awestruck at this. As soon as he pulls back, she stays still.

"Kai?" She calls him looking at him in astonishment, "Did you kiss me just now?"

"Didn't you just kiss me few moments ago?" He says, rubbing his lips in mischief.

"I'm dreaming. This isn't real at all. You didn't kiss me!"

"What if," He catches her attention to his words, "I say... that this time you ask me out and I say yes?"

"Shut up, delusional thoughts! This ain't happening, is it?" She face palms herself and breathes these words of her out.

"What if I say I didn't ever intend to reject you?"

"What do you mean," she squeals, "THIS AIN'T REAL!"

"You didn't kiss me, I kissed you. I'm.. I'm- in delusion that you didn't mind me kissing you... now I suddenly hear you say that you didn't intend to reject me! Am I dreaming or what the fuck?" She pinches her cheeks hardly and then winces in pain.

"No! I'm feeling fake pain! This is dream!"

He sighs at her denial state, "If kissing you has gotten you to this state... I wonder what you will do if I fuck you? Do I just remind you again & again by fucking you?"

"Haha NO, cause you're not my Kai. If it is my Kai, I'll say yes!"

"I am your Kai," He kisses her, "I kissed you like this just now.."

He doesn't break the kiss and tops her over. He lays her back onto the rock's support and cups her cheeks as he pulls back, "Shall I?"

She thinks it's better to not let her denial emotions get over and she finally accepts that it is her Kai kissing her now. "Yes Please...!"

He chuckles at her desperate answer and attaches lips onto hers. Inclines his head onto the other side and enters his tongue into hers. She gladly lets him and starts swirling her tongue around his.

She lets out some sweet muffled noises in between the kiss and so does he, because damn... he has no idea why he has taken it this far but oh he's liking it so damn much that now stopping this feels absolutely wrong...

This feels awfully good. Oh how she has dreamed this in countless nights, fantasizing how he would make love to her .. How he would make out with her...

Thus, she strips him off his jacket and throws it away. He slips in his hands and starts exploring her torso. Massaging her plush skin, extracting goosebumps and arches from her.

She pulls back from the smooch and pulls off his T-shirt with him reciprocating the same; laying her bare on her bra and pants. He is left half-naked. She kisses his lips and traverses it down his jaw, planting some carmine love bites.

"Hah... so desperate aren't you?" He moans at her kisses and she replies, "I have waited for this my whole life. Of course, I am!"

"Hmmm... is that it? Then I shall give you what you desire," He pulls her chin up with his one hand and his other is busy unclasping her bra. He unclasps her bra, letting her boobs free.

The same pair of organs that rested on his hair as she plucked fruits and he noticed her boobs... he rubs the pad of his finger at his nipples making them erect... he palms one and starts sucking onto it, stimulating her in the best way possible.

She lets out few gasps and quiet moans... he makes her stand up, stripping her of her pants, he groans at the sight of her panty, erecting a tent in his own. She astoundingly looks at the tent and caresses on it.

She desperately unzips his jeans, and makes him strip himself off of that. Revealing him in boxers which are erecting a huge tent. She looks at him through her lashes and licks her lips as though that were her dessert.

He gets fully soused at her desperate looks and his mouth starts spouting in spontaneous manner as it is natural.

He grunts at the caress, "You want it? You want my cock?" Piercing through her soul as he ogles at her. She is arched on the standing, and her legs are split as he takes one of hers into his arms.

"Yes, I do," She answers lasciviously, "I want it Kai!"

"That's my good girl," Kai whispers, "You know what good girls say to get their things done?"

"Please! Please Kai, Fuck me!"

"That's right," Kai praises in his low, quiet & sexy voice, "That's my smart good girl.."

He rips off her panty and she gets his boxers down, both of them completely naked. As she is split, he aligns his cock at her pooling entrance... She quietly chants, "Fuck fuck fuck, Yes, fuck me Love!"

Her desperation just buoys him up, as he starts sheathing himself in her, moaning at how tight her little cunt is and earns a long moan from her. He stays still for a moment as he didn't prep her and now he just stops his dick from twitching inside her to cum.

He pulls out, as slow as he can, and strikes in her; deep and forceful. The moment he stilled his cock inside her, she feels her legs turning into jelly. How pleasuring and mind wrecking it is that she keeps on gasping in moans though he hasn't started his moment in her... until he has pulled out and fucked it into her hard that has made her whimper loudly.

He moves in and out of her, her soft walls clenching so badly at his cock and her biting her palms to conceal in her moans... He asks, "Nugget.. Yes... squeeze more.. just like that.. and haah... what's that?" He removes her palm from her mouth and observes how she closed her eyes feeling all the pleasure in.

"What am I doing?" He thinks. "Exactly what you're supposed to do. I'm proud of you my body," His subconscious taunts at him to which Kai doesn't deny. "Being with her feels good, Doing stuff with her feels good and fucking her? It's an absolute heaven!" He thinks.

"Show me your face and... Pretty girl.. a good girl don't look away from the man who's fucking her.. come on, look at me as you scream?" Kai tilts her head facing his. She does as she is told; her a complete blushing and moaning mess as she looks at him with most doe eyes. This gesture of her just encourages Kai to go faster.

"Louder my good girl, Scream.. there's no here except us... Scream," He kisses her cheeks and she increases her volume of chanting moans. As he fucks her in such a soft, pleasuring and fast pace, she screams as she is told and squeezes him tighter. He grows louder as penetrating into her becomes more and more ecstatic.

"You love this....don't you? You're so loud ugh... and shameless huh? Haah....you're fucking me though you're Lost mmhm? Tell me would you have done this with others?" He spouts this with venom in his voice to which she shooks her head vigorously in a no. What does make her happy is that he called himself as her partner and she would fuck him if he is it!

"Words little miss slut!" He pinches her nipples. Groping at her breasts, completely harsh. "That's like it Kai!" She yells at him in her mind in sheer pleasure. "I- w-wouldn't! Only you, only you my love!"

He chuckles in between his moans and thrusts, "That's right," he fucks into her, notices how both of them were sweating and the moonlight making her seem so pretty. This full moon night and them going at it like animals in heat. "She is so hot!" He thinks and grunts as he feels himself close to his orgasm.

"K-Kai, I'm s-so close!" She squeals in pleasure. "Wait for me, I'm there too... Haagh!" He moans. His pace goes sloppier as his dick twitches reaching close to release. She couldn't control herself and she creams his cock with the loudest moan that she has ever let out and Kai moans a loud-long fuck and empties his load in her.

Both of them throw heads back and pant. Kai looks at her and says, "Let's go for another round!"

"Yes please! It's not enough!" He chuckles at her answer and grabs her another leg, pulling her in air and putting her onto the rock. Her both legs in his both arms, her back glued to the stone and her cunt dripping with the cum that Kai has had filled her up with.

His relaxed dick perks up again as she is completely spread out, her whole vulva in full display to Kai's eyes. "Oh fuck... you're so sexy, pretty."

"As if you aren't some angel yourself, Kai... waste no time, come on fuck me hard!"

"Okay, as you say Little Nugget," He pummels his cock into her. She clenches hard onto it. He grunts and goes unbelievably hard and fast into her, extracting sonorous coarse screams of pleasure from her.

How adept and good he is fucking that she squeezes his cock so tight, extracting so many groans, grunts, moans and filthy curses from her.

"Stop doing that... stop clenching l-like that... ugh... I'm losing it... " He moans and she smiles, "Yes Kai! Lose it and fuck me!"

"Aren't I fucking you already? Huh... you dirty little girl- I should fuck you like this often... so you become my cockslut... you would like that wouldn't ya?"

"Aaah yes Kai! I would...Harder!"

He increases his intensity and goes on fucking her. He reaches her so deep in this position, hits her so in the right spots that in this heated rhapsody, she gets lost in pleasure. Her perky boobs swing to his oscillating thrusts making her seem so lewd.

"So so so sexy and lewd, aren't you? That's how you are... fuck I can go on like this forever..."

She unconsciously clenches hard at his dick despite of him asking her not to, at his praises.. He feels the overwhelming bliss while he ruts into her.

She grabs his cheeks and kisses him, whispering a few I love yous to which Kai shushes her up because he wanted her to confess her love to him at the same time as him. He slams his lips onto hers, darting his tongue inside her mouth.. wrestling with hers. She pulls his face over to hers and kisses him deeply. He muffled his moans in the kiss and she smooches his lips as bad as she could.. as if there is no tomorrow.

As they continue to fuck, she finds herself close to her release and pulls back, "I'm close.." She feels all the organs in her stomach twist and turn, notifying her that she's about to cum.

Kai just says, "I'm there... let's cum together," and increases his pace. Reaching to his extremity, as his dick just accumulates it all and is completely convulsing making him become messier with his movements and he finally thrusts his cum-thrust into her... spamming yet again into her.

She cums on his cock again, clenching at it again and again. This was literally the best fuck she and he has ever had in their life. She drips off the cum. He giggles at his work, lets her down and helps her stand as she wobbles.

"Stand like this, I'll fetch our clothes," Kai looks around letting her know, and helps her to get support from the rock, "Damn we threw them so far." And he fetches the clothes. She is completely exhausted and waits for him to return.

He comes back and hands her clothes to wear. They both dress themselves up. "Ugh.. you ripped my panty Kai!" She scolds him.

"Oopsies! I forgot we were in forest."

"Screw you!"

"You already did."

"Of course, didn't I tell you that I would actualize it tonight? I did and you fucked me all on your will, huh!" She flips her hair proudly.

He chuckles and says, "All because of my own reasons and of course you aren't the tiny bit of them."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Kai! Just admit it, you like me be it a tiny bit but you do!"

"I don't know. I don't I guess."

"Whatever."

"We really have to bath soon Kai," She says looking at his messy state and imagining hers. "Let's sleep for now and search for the road tomorrow," Kai suggests her and she nods to it.

"We gotta sleep the other side, there's so much cum here..." Kai points out and she looks at it..She flushes in embarrassment and yells at him, "You did that!"

"Not me, it's you!" Kai talks back and shift the wood and stones to the other side. He arranges the sticks in a tent again and lits them up. She follows him lazily and sits down on the ground.

"Shall we eat these?" Kai asks pointing at the fruits. "Give me and have some," She replies. Kai hands her some fruits and watches her eat. Then eats them as she does, peeling the fruit and eating the insides as he was confused how to eat those.

"Mmm, not sweet or sour... just eat-able..." Kai says eating the fruits.

She peels some and feeds to Kai, "Say aaahhh," He unhesitantly does it and eats the fruits. "This one is a little sweet. That's why I fed you." He blushes at that.

"Let's sleep, shall we?" He asks scooting to the rock and resting his back onto it. She scoots over as well but a little distant from him.

"Stop acting like a gentle woman after fucking me , scoot over to me!" Kai taunts at her and she rolls her eyes. He removes jacket, draws his arms out so she can sneak in his embrace. She does go towards him and places herself between his arm and his torso, resting her head onto his shoulder. He blankets her and himself with his jacket and rests his head onto hers.

She reminisces about all that had happened now and blushes at it. She's happy. All the things he said, before sex... he doesn't intend to reject her now? She is happy as fuck now.

"Kai?" She looks up at him. He hums asking her proceed to say. "Look at me?" She asks him. He does and she kisses him again, snaking her arms around his torso. He kisses her back.

"One chance... is all I need," she murmurs... and he shrugs this off as he asks her to sleep.

"Meanie." She inflates her cheeks and sleeps onto his shoulder. Both of them sleep in the forest in each other's warm embrace.

"I think... she's worth it... " Kai decides.

The fire extinguishes after a while and they're lost in the woods and their dreamlands. They snuggle in closer together as they feel the cold. They sleep and cuddle so sweetly.

After hours, the sun rises... waking up Kai.. He feels his arms are dead as she had been sleeping on it since the night. She turns to other side, hugging his arms. He finds her cute and kisses her forehead. "Nugget.. wake up...it's morning."

She opens her eyes at feeling of his lips on her forehead and chirps a lazy and groggy "Good morning my penguin!"

Surprised Kai just chuckles at that, he moves his dead arm around. "It must be around 6 I guess?" Kai says earning an agreeing hum from her.

She gets up finally, stretching her arms out and yawning. Kai gathers the fruits and gestures her, "Shall we eat these and search for the road?"

"We didn't brush, we reek of sex but we have to keep going ugh... I crave water, bath and some real food as fuck..."

"I know... that's why. Let's eat them real quick and walk!"

"Okie dokie!"

And they eat the fruits in the chilling morning. And start walking. They walk into a whole different direction this time and keep going.

Meanwhile, The other boys and girls decided to search for Kai and her in the roads as Taehyun has a feeling they're struggling for finding the road. If they find the road, they're 70% rescued. Following the road might even get them to some another town. Or they might find each other.

So everyone else kept yelling Kai's and her name hoping they're close to the road and have heard their voice as they moved slowly in cars.

This continues for an hour or two. Kai hears a faint scream, familiar to him echoe from a direction. "This way! Someone's here-" He grabs her and runs along that direction. Miracle that their friends finally reached the surrounding area!

Beomgyu's loud coarse scream gets clearer as she and Kai run together... They start screaming, "WE ARE HERE! WAIT FOR US!"

"We are found ＿＿＿＿!"

"YES WE ARE FOUND KAI! LET'S RUN!"

Running as fast as they could while they screamed to be found... they found the road. She and Kai hug each other and jump in happiness. They run and scream together. The cars that were moving slowly farther away from them halted and someone popped up the roof hole of the car.

Kai and she jump, wave and do what not to get their attention! Beomgyu who peeked at the pair from the roof window immediately guides everyone to drive back. Oh yes! They're found. They're saved.

How relieved she and Kai are that they almost teared up. But stop their crying as the car is theirs! And run towards it. The car halts as they reach them.

The car finally reaches and Yeonjun pops out, grabbing Kai and her in his embrace. Everyone else, her friends and guys come out and just reunite together by embracing one another!

"You guys are alive! We were right to search in the roads!!" Her friends say hugging her tight.

"Taehyun had the feeling and he's right, we found you bro!" Guys hug Kai.

"Omg, give us some water..we're fucking dehydrated," she pants... they hand both of them water bottles which both of them chug completely down finishing the bottles. "Let's just go to some nearby town and stop by, we need to bath.. we stink," She and Kai say to which they nod and finally seat themselves in the car.

Kai sits together with her and grabs her palm in his. He says, "Thank you... for staying strong and being good with plants knowledge that we didn't starve...."

She holds his palm with her both hands and says, "Thanks for being there, looking after me and giving me strength.."

Taehyun who notices this sweet conversation between them remarks, "Holding hands and sitting together? Sweet talks as well huh? We missed a lot!"

She blushes at his statement and chuckles. No one sees it coming but flustered Kai says...

"Can't I hold hands with my girlfriend?"

—THE END.

──────────────────────

IMPORTANT Mentions :

I almost forgot, Shot out to @kosmokai who has had encouraged me to write this when I was completely afraid & stuck to write this. Thank you so much, Sipho... only with your encouragement I made it <3

Also, thanks to @jadethevampress and @strwbbiiii for reading this and letting me know what they think even when it was incomplete 💀 & I nagged you guys to read, hehe <3

A little request, I appreciate if you accept <3

Please!! Reblog, or just tell me what you think about this!! If you don't wanna reblog or leave a reply/comment PLEASE come to my inbox and send me feedback on anonymous, I thrive off of feedbacks and when I see very little of reblogs and commments, that stings a little but I really appreciate any gesture!! (T^T)

[hunnidmilly]

crushin’ on you. |s.s|

(a/n) omg. im kinda nervous here. i wanted to try my luck at writing for solo sikoa. aye it’s wild asl when the whole damn family fine asl. im also cooking up something for jey usoooo :))). this is also inspired by @msbigredmachine ‘I still heart you’ oneshot featuring solo and nadine. complete credit to you <3. enjoy.

“it’s cool, not tryin’ to put the rush on you. i had to let you know that i got a crush on you…”

warnings: none.

parings: fluff!solo sikoa x black!reader

tagged: @cyberdejos2

“Shit!” You let out a painful groan as you almost twisted your ankle while wearing your 6 inch heels.

“You’re so damn childish.” Your best friend, Leilani, mumbled with a roll of her eyes trailing behind you as you rushed towards catering, “You a little too old for this shit, no?”

“Instead of running your motormouth, you need to be making sure he’s not near me.” You pant, nearly out of breath from your speed walking.

“Bitch, we just speedwalked all the way to the other side of the damn building away from him! He can’t fucking teleport, dammit.” Leilani responds pulling out a chair to sit down lowering her head to the table, “Why won’t you jus—“

“You think he saw me? What if he thinks I’m crazy? All he did was wave. Fuck man. Fuck!” You whine as you throw your head into your hands in embarrassment

“I hope the motherfucker does, then you can stop running away like a 6 year old child.”

“Your mother.” You mumbled out

Currently, you found yourself in a sticky situation. You were always told before you got into this business, “Don’t fall in love with your coworkers.” And here you were. Head over heels for a certain younger Samoan. Solo was practically your husband in your head at this point. You've had a crush on him since meeting him in developmental. With a handful of conversations, hanging out with your friend group, and even going out to eat, how could you not develop even the slightest of feelings for him?

While many saw him as the silent enforcer to his older cousin, Roman, he often showed you a different side when you were alone with him. When you allowed yourself to be. You could barely contain yourself around him. If it’s from falling over the damn air, to stuttering over your words, or saying the most random shit ever…you were crushin’ on him. and you had it bad.

Safe to say, you spent your nights in your hotel room with only a box of your favorite 10 piece hot wing combo, lurking on his socials, and his friends and family’s socials from a separate account than your company one.

You found it easier to just avoid him all together, to keep your little schoolgirl feelings safe. You’ve had way too many experiences of admitting your feelings for others and it went completely left. Rejection is a part of life, but that doesn’t mean it doesn't hurt. And a man like him? coming from one of the biggest wrestling families? You were nowhere near comparable. Deciding to save yourself from the embarrassment, you’d admire the Samoan from a distance…all while creating it.

Leilani and you were walking down a hall when you spotted him talking to his brother. He through a wave in your direction with a dazzling smile, expecting you to return it. Yeah, you didn’t. Quite the opposite, in fact.

You pretend as if you didn’t see him. And spun on your heel and speed walked down the opposite direction you were intending.

Even though Solo clearly saw you, see him, see you, see him.

“Stupid, you do know you’re 31 years old, right? Not 13. Just tell him you like him. What’s the worst he can do?” Leilani explains with a agitated expression coating her face

“He could say, ‘Hey, I’m not interested.’ and there goes my fuckin

dignity. Right down the drain.” You answer

“Then onto the next, girl! He’s not the only guy you’re ever going to like. He’s not the only guy who’ll rejec—“

“Reject me. I know. Save the speech, Joel Olsten. I don’t need the embarrassment that comes from that. We work together, Lei. Do you understand how awkward that would be?” You screech out slamming your hands in the table

“You knew it was going to be awkward when you started liking him. You and him have gone out before. You’re literally friends.”

“We’re friends through friends, Lei. It’s different. We’ve never gone out alone. It’s always been with other people. But he’s not the ‘enforcer’ around me. He’s just Joseph.” You sighed, beginning to feel sorry for yourself.

Leilani was right. You were a grown woman. He’s not the only guy in the world. But somehow, in front of other people, he always had a way of doing so.

One time you went out bowling with your friends a few months back, and he opened the door for you, placing his hand on your lower back, letting you enter the building before him. That entire night, he paid more than enough attention to you. Asking you about your life outside of wrestling, laughing at your jokes, and poking fun at your lack of ability to bowl. He even ordered your food for you. He ended that night by giving you a small hug.

You could still smell his cologne if you closed your eyes tightly enough.

But what if you were reading into this all wrong? He could’ve done that as a way to show he was sincerely interested in being your friend.

Late at night you always dreamed, he was crushin’ just as hard on you as you were to him. But he’s a grown man too. He would’ve said something by now if he was genuinely interested. Right?

Right?

“You need to put on your granny panties and go up to him and ask him to hang out. Bitch, you’re old. Get your ass up. Oop, just in time.” Lei suddenly smirks, her eyes moving past your head

You furrowed your eyebrows and turned in your chair to see Solo entering the catering area, his face in his phone. You admittedly felt yourself begin to shake and start to sweat. Your chest getting heavy.

“Girl, get the fuck up. You know what, actually. Solo!” Lei suddenly shouts getting his attention

“What the fuck are you doing?” You snap into her direction

“I’m deflowering your pussy ass. Either take the chance, or shut up! Hey, Solo!”

You turned around to see him making his way to your table with a smile on his face. ‘I’m going to bitch slap her so hard’ you thought in your head, glaring at Leilani.

“Wassup y’all?” Solo says as he sits in a metal chair next to you

“Hey! We’re just talking about this one’s match tonight. I was just saying we need new gear. Here, let me sho—Dammit. My phone died. I’m gonna go get my iPad; I'll be back in a jiffy.”

Your eyes nearly popped from your skull at Leilani’s words, “I’ll be back, you two. Don’t go anywhere, yeah?” She snickers at the inside joke before standing up and walking off

You bit down on your tongue as you watched her saunter off, down the hallway of the arena. opposite of her locker room, where her iPad would be.

little lying ass bitch.

“So y’all thinking about new gear? Whatchall’ thinking about?” Solo asks, moving his arm to lay against the back of your chair.

Fuck me now, “Um…y-yeah. We are. Y’know? We needa stay up to par as tag team champions.” You stutter, silently curing yourself in your head.

“Hell yea! Yall have been killing it lately out there. I remember in developmental, you’d always say how one day you were going to dominate the women's tag team division. If only little you could see yourself right now. Right?” He grins showing his teeth

He remembered that? That was a while ago.

“Yeah. She’d probably be shitting herself.” Fuck.

He chuckles to himself before facing you again, “You guys ready for backlash? I see Natalya is gearing up. Ion know. You might got some serious competition there, baby girl.”

Was that a pet name? Why’d he call you that? Where did he get that? How many other girls does he call that?

“W-w-well she better bring her ass then to be geared the fuck down!” You respond, slightly cursing yourself.

Solo laughs at your bashfulness and you grab a mini water bottle from the center of the table. You quickly opened it and attempted to drown it in its entirety before you began coughing.

Who swallows water the wrong way? Seriously?

“Yo! Yo! You good?” Solo perches upwards with a concern look on his face actively patting your back

Does it look like i’m fucking good? What do you think?

“Y-yeah!” You cough out still hacking your lungs

“Lemme getchu som—Hey, wait a minute.“ Solo's words were cut off as you waved your hand off and stood up to leave. Still coughing, you walked toward the exit with a frown on your face.

Once again, you fucked it up and embarrassed yourself. This time by choking on your water.

“Hey, wait. It’s oka—“ Solo's words were cut off once again as you leaned too close to the door, yanking it open resulting in hitting your head with it.

Before anyone else could see your multiple fuckups, you quickly exited the catering area. You walked as fast as you could to your locker room, clutching your head. You felt the tears in your eyes begin to form at your embarrassment. You felt sorry for yourself. A 31 year old grown ass woman, couldn’t admit to a dude that you were feeling him. The shit was pitiful to say the least.

You clutched your jacket closer to your body as you waited for your Uber Eats delivery to arrive. After a long night, you made the ‘expected’ decision to just head back to the hotel for the night. Avoiding Solo for the duration of the show. Wherever you spotted him, you made sure you weren’t. or at least well hidden. You lowered your gaze down to your phone, eyeing the unread message from Leilani.

Lei: Soooooo. You 2 lovebirds bond?

You didn’t have it in your heart to tell her the truth. Once again, you messed up. If he didn’t think you were weird before, he certainly does now.

Shaming yourself for wearing shorts, while it was chilly outside, you saw the car of your Uber Eats driver pull up. You stayed near the hotel entrance and prepared to greet him to receive your order. As the man gets out with a bag, from the corner of your eye, you couldn’t help but notice Solo beginning to walk towards you, his suitcase in tow. You quickly retrieved your bag, and headed back inside.

Not again. No, never again.

Just as you pressed the elevator button, you heard the creaking of wheels.

“Wassup?” He greets with a smile

“Hey.” You smile back up at the man

Solo's face gains a confused look. You were being short with him. while he knew you were shy. You at least attempted more of a conversation with him.

As the elevator opened, you both entered. You kept your head hung low, as you both waited to reach the floor. When the doors opened, you stepped out and quickly walked towards your room door, accepting your defeat.

“Hey, wait a second.” Solo starts, following behind you.

You were prepared to keep the conversation short and simple. Do not allow yourself to be swept away into another series of painful and embarrassing events.

“Why are you always so…different? Around me. I see you with everyone else. Leilani. The other ladies and guys. You’re yourself. But when it comes to me? You’re different. Wassup? Did I do something?”

You let out a breath as you stared up at the man. You had one shot. And here it was, right here. He was right. You weren’t normally the shy type. But dammit, you could barely form a sentence near him. Leilani was right. There were more fish in the sea. Even if this was the fish you wanted.

“Solo listen. I…I have feelings for you. Bad. I try to save my own feelings by pushing them to the side, but instead I end up looking like a fucking dumbass, every-single-time. I know what you’re going to say. And it’s cool. I’m not tryna put the rush on you. So just sav—“

You were ready to continue your ramble. Ready to explain and accept your rejection. You felt yourself being pressed against the door of your hotel room as Solo's lips combined with yours.

You dropped your bag of food onto the ground, and your arms slid around his neck. You felt yourself moan into his mouth as his tongue snaked into yours, welcoming. His arms slid around your waist, pressing your body against his. As you both tasted each other and fought for dominance, you thought back to what Leilani said. Ole ass was right.

You pulled away from Solo, keeping your arms locked around his neck. “And what if I said I was feeling you too? Then what?” He responded

“I’d be speechless.”

“Good. Save yourself from saying something crazy again.” He chuckles before diving in again for another taste of your lips against his.

[petracozbi]

Doing more Trolls (Branch-centric ‘cuz he’s my favorite) headcanons:

Branch speaks both Spanish and Korean, he learned from the K-pop Gang and Reggaeton Trolls

Kismet all have minor scars from either getting in a tussle with Branch, or saving him from trouble (taking on a big predator-critter on his own, one of his inventions almost exploding in his face, getting into confrontations with trolls bothering him (aka Creek and co.), etc.)

YK how we see how trolls can make their hair glow in the dark in ttbgo? Branch’s eyes glow in the dark. It’s pretty rare, since most trolls don’t roam in complete darkness, like he probably did for so many years to avoid detection from predators, so most trolls don’t even know they have that capability. It allows him to see in the dark, as well as scare the shit out of anyone that might catch a glance of him (Kismet, the bros, etc.)

A continuation of the hc that Branch needs glasses, from the post linked above: Since he stopped wearing glasses at such a young age, Branch struggled a lot with both reading and writing. This resulted in him having to label things in his ration-stock with very big letters, which were often also misspelled. No one, neither Kismet nor the Snackpack, thought to correct him, since they didn’t deem it too important, but Clay was genuinely saddened by the fact that Branch had had to struggle with this from such a young age. He offers to help Branch correct the mistakes and teach him how to read and write properly, which makes Branch extremely embarrassed at first, but he reluctantly obliges when he sees how nonjudgmental Clay is about it. Clay later discovers that the main reason Branch struggles so much, is bcs he needs glasses, and not just bcs he never got taught grammar past the age of like five (around the time Rosiepuff died). This has Clay silently cursing himself out, ‘cuz how could he forget in the first place that his baby brother needed glasses?? He makes it his objective to get Branch some new glasses, which Branch shows much reluctance to in the beginning, and it takes a lot of convincing from Clay, Poppy and everyone else to get him to try it. Cue Branch seeing clearly for the first time in 20 years, and the first -and almost only thing he can comment on, is how beautiful Poppy is. Cue Poppy getting emotional.

Bruce probably has the softest hair in the world, and gets pretty upset when he learns that Branch, whose hair used to be almost as soft as his, hasn’t done any haircare other than brushing it every few weeks for 20 years. That and just taking a break and relaxing overall. He takes it upon himself to try and get Branch to relax, and tries to treat him to a bro-spa-day, but ends up going way overboard with face masks, hair rollers, sauna, whale sounds, burning lavender-scented incense, etc. It’s all just way too overstimulating, and instead of relaxing, Branch is just put in a state of overwhelming, suffocating stress. Bruce his completely oblivious to this, until Brandy points out how Branch had already accidentally crushed five coconut-drinks in his hand, and maybe, he should try and sus out what’s bothering him instead of continually handing him drinks. This leads to Bruce pulling Branch away, where they have an heart-to-heart; Branch tries to apologize at first, since he was trying so hard to keep up and stay relaxed, as to not bring down the mood, and mentions how the trolls back in pop-village would always complain that he did that, back when he was gray. Bruce is heartbroken when hearing this; for one, the fact that Branch had to endure so much (frankly a little cruel) judgement from everyone around him, when he’d just been afraid, instead of anyone helping him or taking his feelings into consideration. And secondly, that he now felt he couldn’t speak up about what’s bothering him, with the fear he’d be rejected. Bruce ofc tells him he has nothing to apologize for, and that it should be him apologizing, since he never even noticed how uncomfortable Branch was; and they continue the rest of the bro-spa-day, doing something low key, but still relaxing.

Floyd partied hard during his solo-career days, and is horrified to see his baby brother with a candy sucker (I hc them as being like drugs for trolls)

Branch clings to others when he sleeps, but only sleeps when he feels secure enough, so there’s been many sleepless nights. Kismet tries to combat this by staying with him to ‘keep lookout’ while he naps. This is how they discovered the clinging, and it later evolved into all of Kismet taking regular naps together, in an almost sleep pile (think the Croods)

Branch is a silent observer and easily notices patterns and specific quirks with the ones he’s close with. This leads to him often being a step ahead; Ablaze likes his coffee a certain way at a specific time in the morning? Branch already has it ready for him when he walks in the kitchen. Hype has a tendency to bump into a specific spot on the table every time he walks past it? Branch is there, ready to hold a protective hand over the spot when he walks by. Poppy usually runs out of scrapbooking-material around the same time at the end of every week? Branch is already waiting at her door with another unrequested ‘delivery’. Branch always returning with specific things, snacks, etc, every time he return from a run in the village, because ‘he knew they (each individual member of Kismet) liked those things thing, snacks, etc.

Branch doesn’t show physical affection very often, so when he does, it’s automatic bragging-rights for whomever got shown affection (Kismet, Brozone, The Snackpack), plus it often puts them in an emotional state. (And yes, everyone (Kismet and Brozone) is very jealous of Poppy and how much more physical affection Branch shows her)

[honourablejester]

Okay, normally this wouldn’t be something I’d go near at all, but I saw some things fly past my dash on the new James Somerton youtube controversy, and I vaguely remembered watching one of the guy’s videos a while back (I can’t actually remember which one, I just remember he was talking about growing up in a poor town where people were paid under the table as a regular fact of life? I can’t remember the topic, which maybe says something about the dude’s presentation style). So I got curious and watched first hbomberguy’s plagiarism video and then Todd in the Shadow’s misinformation video on the guy. The basic takeaway of which appears to be that 90% of his output is stolen, and the parts that aren’t are often wildly incorrect instead. Anyway. I realise this is a weird thing to get hung up on given the much more serious issues of, you know, plagiarism and theft and misogyny and frankly astonishing opinions on queer history, but …

There’s a section in Todd’s video (around 1.25.00) about Somerton’s interpretations of various vampire media from his video on ‘Vampires and the Gays that love them’, and I got to ‘Gary Oldman was the first fuckable Dracula’, and … what?

It’s around 38.10 in Somerton’s video, and the full quote is as follows:

“Again, the significant element here is how readily Coppola depicts a vampire who fucks, whereas Dracula is more prominently depicted as a reclusive humanoid monster. From Nosferatu, Plan Nine from Outer Space, Salem’s Lot, the Last Voyage of the Demeter, this figure has almost exclusively been painted white, and shown with clownishly monstrous features. But Coppola creates a monster for whom the audience looks at and completely understands what Mina is so horny about.”

I’m going to leave out everything else he says about Coppola’s Dracula, because … wow, there’s a lot of interesting opinions in there, but …

Christopher Lee. And Bela fucking Lugosi.

The man cannot be unaware of the two single most famous depictions of Dracula ever put on film, right? Dracula has been ‘more prominently depicted’ as the Nosferatu-inspired Count Orlok type monstrosities, and Coppola’s is the first ‘sexy Dracula’ on film? Like. What?

As Todd says, anyone even passingly aware of Dracula films is gonna go … Hammer? Universal? Bela Lugosi. The single portrayal that has been shaping Dracula’s iconography for nearly a literal century? THE film Dracula? The one literally everyone is going to think of?

Like. It’s such a weird choice. If he was going to say something about what you could get away with onscreen now vs in the 60s or 30s, or about the evolving tension between the sexier Draculas vs the more monstrous, which Chris Lee’s Dracula was an element of, a more visceral, animalistic portrayal vs Lugosi’s suave charm, arriving to what Coppola’s could actually explicitly put on the screen, but … This is framed like Universal and Hammer just didn’t exist. At all. It cherry-picks such a weird selection of examples of the Nosferatu style portrayals (and not even of Dracula, just vampires in general), and just flat never mentions the two single most famous Dracula film franchises ever made.

I’m curious what the comment section for this video was like. It’s been locked down now because of the controversy, so I can’t tell, but I’m assuming … I mean, that can’t have flown, right? As Todd says, literally anyone could have picked up on that one.

It’s just such a strange thing to choose to say. There maybe is a fair bit to say about ideas of sexiness in film across different decades, or if he meant that Coppola’s Dracula was the first to literally fuck on screen because of what could be shown in different eras, or even which Dracula he personally found most sexy, but …

Why would you choose to say, with a straight face, that Dracula has most prominently been depicted Nosferatu-style when literally anyone with the remotest knowledge of Dracula is going to point directly at Bela Lugosi and his ninety years worth of imitations and rejections and parodies and rebuttals? Nosferatu is a silent era classic and a periodic cult revival for vampire depictions, but THE movie vampire in popular consciousness is still Lugosi’s suave, sinister European nobleman in classy eveningwear. Any random Joe Soap off the street is gonna know that. Saying the Nosferatu depiction is the most prominent is just flat not true and everyone knows it.

Sorry. Again, I know this is a weird thing to get hung up on, but it’s such a weird choice. I get selective cherry picking of evidence to make your chosen point, but you can’t just ignore the one depiction that literally everyone knows and expect them to just nod along. Right?

Anyway. Weirdness aside. Carry on.

[sopebubbles]

Chapter Eleven

Summary: How many men will it take to save you? To be honest, you’ve gotten pretty used to saving yourself. Even though you’re far from a delicate thing, Los Angeles is a dangerous place you can’t seem to escape no matter how hard you try. The top 7 members of Bangtan should never have crossed your path, but they soon find they’d do just about anything to help you escape your past and make it safe for you to stay. But will you?

Genre: mafia au, poly ot7, angst, some smut, honestly a lot more fluff than i expected, POC reader/oc

A/n: I'm sorry this update is a little shorter than the others! I think thematically it made sense to separate them this way. Also I swear I did not mean to post this on beastie-writes 😪 so I'm sorry if that threw anybody off! I made the update and saw my draft was saved under the wrong name and didn't want to start over. The other chapters will continue on sopebubbles!

A/n 2: I am re-posting this chapter because t*mblr did a t*mblr thing and deleted @/beastie-writes, where this chapter was originally posted. It's not new. Now back to our regular programing.

Warnings: angst and lots of feeling (hopefully good ones too!!)

Word count: 3.8K

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It was easy to fall into a routine at the Bangtan house. You’d wake up in the morning, grab something to eat and chat with Jungkook by the poolside before he left with Namjoon to fulfill their duties. Then you’d “go for a walk” around the house. You told yourself that this was to wear off some of your excess energy and become familiar with the grounds in case you needed to escape, but the fact that your walk ended every day with you finding Yoongi was not lost on either of you. 

Yoongi was endeared to see the way you would shuffle and stare at your feet, asking him what he was up to when what you really wanted was to sit on the couch and watch dramas together. You may not have wanted to take him away from his work or maybe you just weren’t in the habit of asking for what you wanted, but regardless of you never expressing your wish, Yoongi was always happy to be the first one to offer.

“Do you want to finish watching that drama from yesterday?” he’d ask, watching your face brighten as you’d nod eagerly. “Lemme finish up here and you can go grab Jimin.”

And you would. Because their roles rarely required them to leave the grounds, Jimin and Yoongi became your natural drama buddies. Every afternoon you’d pile on the couch together while Yoongi gathered snacks. They always seemed to be able to spare a couple of hours for you. Even Jimin, who at first seemed apprehensive around you, was showing signs of enjoying your company.

Jimin started sitting closer to you on the couch and offering you some of his snacks. He liked to look up fan theories on his phone while you guys watched and would often share them with you and ask your opinion about them after each episode. 

But Jimin noticed the way you never closed the distance when you sat near him on the couch, how you kept your muscles tense even as Yoongi catered to you. There was a calculation in your movements so that even as you were at-ease in your body language, you were never quite relaxed. Jimin wondered if he was contributing to your tension. He thought he was demonstrating his acceptance of you, but maybe he needed to do more.

“Val, do you want to cuddle?” Jimin asked one afternoon while you were both waiting for Yoongi to bring snacks.

The question caught you completely by surprise, your face heating with embarrassment, “I…um…”

“You don’t have to,” Jimin added nonchalantly. “I just thought it would help.”

“What would help?” Yoongi asked, setting the popcorn down in front of you.

“Us cuddling with Val.”

“And that would help with what exactly?” You kept your face to the paused screen in front of you, not trusting yourself to look at either of the men giving you their full attention.

Jimin shrugged, “You just hold yourself like someone who’s been rejected, but we’re not rejecting you. So I thought maybe us holding you would make you realize we’re not rejecting you.”

Yoongi chuckled awkwardly. Jimin’s brand of matter-of-fact honesty always toed the line of refreshing and uncomfortable. Jimin was sharply attuned to people’s body language, but not in predicting how his words could make other people feel. “There’s no pressure. You don’t have to,” Yoongi offered kindly, giving you an out.

“It…it might be nice,” you whispered shyly. You thought back to the tender touches and closeness you shared with Taehyung and how nice it used to feel. But back then, it always led to something more. “Only cuddling, right?”

“If that’s what you want,” Jimin shrugged again, leaving the implication that you could want more hanging in the air.

“Only cuddling. And if you want to stop, just tell us you want to stop,” Yoongi assured.

“Okay,” you agreed, feeling awkward about what to do next.

Jimin scooted closer to you, tapping on his chest, “Go ahead, snuggle up. I’m softer than Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi scoffed and you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you as you curled up against Jimin’s chest. He was comfy and warm, smelling of clean laundry as he let his arm hang lazily around you.

“You can lay out your legs across mine,” Yoongi suggested, scooting closer to you and Jimin. You were still a little worried as you stretched yourself across Yoongi, but he gave you a reassuring pat. “It’s like I have a Val blanket,” he giggled.

You could have laughed at that too, lost in the giddiness of how cozy you felt. But instead, you hummed in acknowledgement, already being lulled by Jimin’s heartbeat and the warmth of his chest. 

Jimin glanced down to see you completely slack against him, eyes heavy as your breath evened. He smirked, satisfied that he had finally gotten you to relax as he started to play with your hair, earning a happy sigh from you. 

>>>>

“You look rested,” Jin mentioned, as he finished chopping up some green onion. His usual “Kiss the Cook” apron was tied around him while he reached for mushrooms to chop. 

Your stomach swirled with uneasiness as you thought back to how you fell asleep on Jimin’s chest during your afternoon cuddle session. You’d woken up to a gentle nudge from Yoongi, your fists clenched tightly in Jimin’s shirt and a small drool stain where you had rested your head on Jimin’s chest. Jimin was unbothered, and rather amused to see how relaxed you had been, but the thought of you letting go of your well-practiced control, even for a moment, unsettled you. You made a quick apology and excused yourself to help Seokjin, who had started the habit of coming over to make dinner in the evenings. 

“What’re you making?” You asked, pointedly ignoring his comment and hopping up on the stool across from him.

“Doenjang-jjigae,” Jin answered with a happy hum, expertly cutting up the vegetables in front of him. Having watched him for several days now, this was not the first time you wondered what other skills Jin wielded with a knife.

“Jjigae? Is that stew?” You guessed.

Jin nodded, “It’s made with a soy-bean paste. It’s a pretty common dish.”

You gave a thoughtful hum, but said nothing more.

“Is something bothering you?” Jin asked, combining the vegetables together. “Normally by this point you’re asking how you can help and taking it upon yourself to add seasoning to everything. Yesterday I nearly had to wrestle you to the ground to prevent you from dumping a whole tub of gochujang into the japchae.”

“Gochujang is good though,” you grumbled, poking at a bit of mushroom that rolled across the counter.

“Yaeya, dong-uihae! But the secret to good japchae is the right balance of soy sauce and brown sugar and I have been perfecting that balance for decades.”

“You’re not that old.”

“I started young. Do you think I let my mother eat bad japchae after I was conceived? No! She had terrible morning sickness because of me and lots of bad japchae,” Seokjin was basically shouting as he dumped the vegetables into the bubbling broth.

You laughed heartily, hands covering your face at Jin’s overzealousness. With a spirit like his, you imagine his mother probably did get indigestion.

“Why’re you always coming over here to cook dinner if you have your own place?” You asked once your laughter subsided.

“I asked you a question first.”

“I’m ignoring it.”

Seokjin shrugged as if to say “suit yourself”  before responding, “Namjoon asked me to. He wants to make sure you stay well-nourished and I’m the best cook in the bunch, so…” he gestured openly with his arms, “here I am.”

“No offense, but you don’t really seem like the type to follow orders,” you mused.

“None taken,” he replied, focusing now on on the slow-cooked beef from the oven. The smells in the kitchen were starting to blend together and permeate the air, making your stomach rumble inaudibly. “There’s no shame in following orders. Plus, I get to enjoy your company.”

You pouted, unsatisfied and hungry, “I don’t believe you.”

“That there’s no shame in following orders or that I enjoy your company?”

“Both.”

“Well, the most powerful thing you can do is believe you have power in the first place; regardless of if you’re on the giving or receiving end of orders,” Seokjin explained, putting the beef into the stew and lowering the temperature on the stove to a simmer. You grunted, still not impressed. Power was power in your mind. You either took what was yours or you didn’t. “And as far as your company,” Seokjin continued. “It’s a tragedy you’re the last to know, but you’re kinda cool to hang out with.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed. “All I do is sit around all day.”

Seokjin’s eyes widened dramatically and, putting a hand to his mouth, he gasped in mock-horror, “I hadn’t considered that. I guess I am having a terrible time.”

“Cállate, pendejo,” you laughed.

“Once I figure out what that means, I’ll have a very witty comeback,” Seokjin grinned, wagging a finger at you. “Go get the others, dinners ready.”

>>>>>>>

You wouldn’t want to admit it, but you enjoyed the cacophony of the Bangtan dinner table. So often you were left to eat dinner either by yourself or, on rare occasions, with Joaquin, that you weren’t sure how everyone could be so noisy and chew their food at the same time. Even just the hums and moans they made as they ate and complimented the food made the meals loud even without active conversation. It seemed like every meal was the best meal they ever ate. And to be fair, every meal was delicious. Perhaps Seokjin really was the best cook in the bunch, though you hadn’t tried everyone else’s cooking to compare it.

You liked to sit next to Yoongi during dinner. Partly because Yoongi was good at loading your plate while explaining what you were eating and how to eat it. But mostly because, even if you were still embarrassed from earlier, Yoongi always had a way of making you feel safe and unjudged.

“Keep your thumb steady and only move your pointer finger. And remember, we have forks,” Yoongi advised as he watched your kimchi sliding off your chopsticks again and again.

“She’s got it, she’s got it,” Hoseok chanted in Korean. You were sticking your tongue out a bit in concentration, studying carefully with furrowed brows as the red piece of cabbage made it to your lips. The entire table erupted in applause and you scooted your chair back to stand up and take a bow.

“To Val!” Namjoon cheered, raising a shot glass of soju, the other men echoing “To Val!” as they downed their shot.

When you plopped back into your chair, you reached for Yoongi’s hand on the table and while everyone was laughing and carrying on you whispered, “Thank you for always looking out for me, Oppa.”

Your heart swelled while you watched his ears turn red, “Always,” he whispered back, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. 

The dinner continued on in a light-hearted, joyous mood with little talk of Bangtan’s work life or your dire predicament. You tried to let yourself be lulled by the conversation, but the unease you were familiar with was back, bubbling up through your stomach and clawing its way to your throat. You kept quiet though, looking out over the table, listening to the blend of Korean and English around you, wondering when they might confront you about earning your keep or when they might get sick of taking care of you and ask you to leave. No one could really be that impressed with your ability to use chopsticks. It was silly and stupid and everyone else could do it anyway, so why did they need to pretend on your behalf? Were they setting you up for something? Trying to gain your trust? You became acutely aware of how you had slumped in your chair and were no longer contributing to the conversation. Were you killing the mood? Were the boys aware of how untrusting you were? Would they care? Your eyes settled on the empty spot where Taehyung still failed to show up for dinner. He wasn’t there because you didn’t want to see him. You knew that. You had asked for this space and he was giving it to you. It was kind, more kind than you were used to or expected. Everything here was. But why did it feel ominous now? Where was the catch?

“Excuse me,” you said, standing up with a polite smile before you finished your plate. “Everything was delicious, Seokjin, thank you.”

If anyone noticed the way your mood was faltering, no one said anything. Seokjin had been laughing at something Hoseok was telling him when he passively said, “My pleasure! It’s nice to have your moral support in the kitchen.”

“Do you need me to get you anything?” Yoongi asked, searching your face for an explanation as to why you were leaving early.

“I’m good, Oppa,” You lied. “Just a little tired.”

Yoongi nodded, “I’ll clean up your plate. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you.”

It felt like miles before you got to your bed, but when you finally reached it, you buried your face into a pillow and let yourself cry.

>>>

The light from outside your bedroom shone underneath the door creating dramatic shadows from the furniture in the room. Sitting up slowly, you blinked and rubbed your puffy eyes. You hadn’t meant to fall asleep but you were grateful that it was dreamless. Unfortunately, it meant that you would have an even harder time falling back to sleep. You sighed, the heaviness of your emotions had subsided but the echo of them was still there. You let yourself be ebbed by the flow of your aimless thoughts until your mind found itself back to when you had napped earlier that day. Between Yoongi and Jimin. Against Jimin’s chest. There was no pressure or expectation in listening to Jimin breathe and the way he and Yoongi avoided clinging to you made you feel secure in the fact that you could leave whenever you wanted. It was nice and you missed it. It was warm and you wanted more.

Before you could chastise yourself for being greedy, you left the room quickly to find Jimin. You told yourself, at the very least, you could apologize for drooling on his shirt earlier. Lucky for you, no one was around as you made your way to the basement, so you could avoid explaining your true motives.

When you approached the door, you heard gunfire and shouting. Jimin was clearly yelling at his TV. You knocked on Jimin’s door tentatively.

“Fuck this, man.” Jimin grumbled from the other side of the door. The noises from the action sequence stopped suddenly as he called, “Come in!”

“I think you’re loosing your touch–” another voice teased as you opened the door to see Jimin leaning back on his couch, game controller to his left as he idly played with Taehyung’s hair and watched you come in. It took you a second to register what you were seeing. Taehyung was stretched out on the couch, head in Jimin’s lap, game controller in hand. Neither of them were wearing shirts and their sweatpants hung low around their hips. It wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen before, but you still looked away. “Sorry, if I’m interrupting something…” you trailed off, rubbing your arm to get rid of the goosebumps.

“No, no,” Taehyung shot off of Jimin’s lap and to his feet. “I’m sorry. I can leave, it’s getting late anyway–”

“It’s okay,” you said, finding his eyes to show him you meant it. “You can stay. It’s, um…Nice to see you.” Even this small confession left your heart aching in your chest. After everything that happened, you hoped Taehyung didn’t hate you, but you also hoped you wouldn’t have to explain yourself tonight. “Please stay.”

Jimin watched the two of you, not sure of what to make of the exchange. He ultimately decided it wasn’t his responsibility to figure out why the two of you looked so uncomfortable, so instead he said, “Did you need something?”

“I just wanted to apologize for earlier,” you answered, sheepishly. Now that you were actually in Jimin’s space, your plan felt very silly. 

“What happened earlier?” Jimin said, confused. He was genuinely unaware of something you had done wrong and you had never visited him before, so all of this seemed highly uncalled for.

“When I drooled on you…” You replied, feeling more and more embarrassed by the moment.

“Oooh,” Jimin realized. “Oh that? It’s fine. Sometimes people drool when they’re relaxed. I think it’s kind of nice.”

“Did you guys play together?” Taehyung asked, trying to hide his shock.

“Play together?” You echoed, having no idea what Taehyung meant.

“Nah, she fell asleep on my chest and drooled on my shirt,” Jimin said easily. “I have an extra controller. Do you want to play with us?”

You looked at the screen with the words Call of Duty across the top, “I’ve never played video games before.”

“This wouldn’t be a good one to start with then,” Jimin thought out loud. “You guys should sit down. I’m gonna get the Switch so we can play Mario Kart. I’ll be right back.”

Jimin stretched as he stood up, cracking his neck as he did so, and briskly walked out of the room, leaving you and a shirtless Taehyung standing in the middle of the room, dim lighting letting the weight of each other’s presence be known.

“Are you sure it’s okay if I stay?” Taehyung asked hesitantly.

“Yes, but could you put on a shirt please?”

“Right,” Taehyung said, suddenly embarrassed. You turned your eyes to him, watching as his white tshirt fell loosely over his tanned shoulders, hiding away the muscles in his back that you once knew so well. That ache you had returned again and you were suddenly desperate for being held. Your emotions bubbled up to your throat as you struggled to swallow them back, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to be soothed. 

Taehyung’s heart broke as he turned back to look at you. You were only a few feet in front of him and closer than you had been in weeks, but standing there, looking so small as you held yourself away from him, he thought you were farther than ever. He wanted to kiss you again and keep you safe in his arms. He wanted to explain that when he called you his before it was only because his heart knew it found its missing piece when he met you and that he was wrong to think of himself as entitled to you and he was sorry he ever did. He was a monster in your life while you were the light in his and he was so, so sorry.

When Jimin walked into the room, he noticed that you were both on the brink of tears. He knew that you both had history with one another, but he wasn’t quite sure what could cause such a reaction when neither of you had even been talking to each other.

“Do you guys need to hug?” Jimin suggested.

“Um..” You knew your answer before Jimin had even asked the question, every nerve in your body was begging for it. 

Jimin narrowed his eyes like he had formed some conclusion while observing you, “I think you guys need to hug.”

“Please,” you had barely gotten the word out when Taehyung closed the distance and wrapped his arms around you. Breathing in the familiar scent broke the last defense you had in protecting yourself from your emotions. You nuzzled into his chest and let the tears fall from your face, feeling a wetness against your shoulder as Taehyung buried his face in your neck.

Taehyung tried not to squeeze you too tight despite the overwhelming sense of relief he felt with having you in his arms. He told himself that even if this was all you were willing to give him for the rest of your life, he would accept it. He would never again ask for more than what you were willing to give. His shoulders shook as he wept against you and eventually he felt you rubbing his back, still not moving away or asking him to let go.

Jimin was content to let the moment continue for as long as you both needed, seeing that there was a lot that you guys needed to process even if neither of you had words for it yet. 

Eventually, your tears had stopped and you whispered gentle shushing against Taehyung, feeling warmth spread throughout your body at feeling the weight of him in your arms. Slowly, he pulled himself away from you, looking down at you with a sense of wonder that you hoped you returned in kind. Whatever the embrace had done for you, it appeared Taehyung had needed it just as desperately.

“Do you guys still want to play Mario Kart?” Jimin asked, already moving to set up the switch as if you had said yes.

You giggled wetly, still high from your relief, “Sure.”

Taehyung also laughed, a little awkwardly as he ran his fingers through his hair, “Yeah, that sounds fun.”

Jimin turned back to the two of you, noticing something he had missed before, “Do I need to put on a shirt too?”

“If you don’t mind,” You said.

“I’ll wear a fuzzy shirt so you can lay against me again,” Jimin announced. “I think you like cuddling.”

You had experienced too many emotions today to be embarrassed anymore or try to deny it, so instead you nodded, “I think you’re right.” You turned to Taehyung. “You’ll stay and cuddle too, right?”

Taehyung could have cried again if he hadn’t already drained himself of all of it. He sniffled, happily, “If you want me to.”

“I want you to,” You assured, taking his hand and leading him over to the couch. Jimin plopped on the other side of you, wearing a fuzzy black sweater. You were all snuggled up together, you leaning into Jimin and Taehyung leaning into you. Your leg was trapped between Taehyung’s body and the couch but you wouldn’t complain. You didn’t want anything to change. 

Chipper music began as the start menu loaded, looking at the tiny controller in your hand, you couldn’t help your fit of laughter.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” you said, not sure if you meant the game or in general.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin said, quickly making selections on the screen before you were able to choose your own character. “We’ll help you.”

[queenoftheworldisdead]

Something old

Note: i put or because the reader i cant figure out the who

Summery: Your cousin, who you haven't seen in a while, asks you to be her maid of honor. Due to family pressure you are forced to relive nightmares you had tried hard to forget.

Warning 18 + Only, dark themes, drugging, non consent, alcohol, nightmare

Dark Bucky or Dark Steve x Reader

chapter 1

🦋

The newly engaged couple sat on opposite ends of the table. You always hated that when you saw it in movies. How were couples supposed to interact when they were so faraway.

No one seemed to be was bothered than it aside for you.

Haley, your first cousin, was getting married. You two were close growing up together, so much so you both went off to the same college.

That’s where things changed. She blossom there, expanding her social circles while you buried yourself away.

Her new friends were more like her. Extroverts. You were not. To her introverts didn't exist. She dragged you from your dorm room and into the college party life.

It was horrible you felt awkward, uncomfortable, out of place. Sometime more often than not a babysitter. Keeping an eye on the group making sure they didn't run off and stayed safe.

One horrible night all that stopped. You became inept evading her attempts. You were still family, but you were no longer close.

You kept tabs via social media. By graduation your only updates came from your mother unprompted.

The invitation had taken some coaxing to get you here. She forced your hand by calling your mother.

The party scene had changed drastically sense your college days. Red cups were replaced with wine glasses. Keg stands and drunken chats replaced with civil conversations.

It still felt awkward being here though. You didn't know anyone aside from Haley. Your mother told you she met her fiance in college, but he was unfamiliar to you.

🦋

“Well I hope you all enjoyed yourselves." Haley rose to address the table. "But we brought you here for more than just good food and wine. As you know by now we plan on getting married." Haley flaunted the large diamonds on her finger as she talked. Her friends playfully fond while you tried to hide your frowned. At first it didn't dawn on you. You were too in your head about being at this party, filled with people you didn't know, counting the minutes until you could excuse yourself to leave.

You had forgotten how calculating Haley could be. Taking stock of the attendees it was clear what her motives were. The ratio to men and women evened out.

Shit.

"We also wanted to know if you would do us the honor of being our bridesmaids and groomsmen?"

The chorus of cheers was a sign of a resounding yes, while you stayed quiet. Though you were happy for your cousin, you didn't want to be apart of the bridal party.

Haley's gaze lingered on you suspiciously. When she called your name you felt panicked.

“I know we haven't talked in a long time, but we used to be so close. I miss that…." She confessed sullenly, with more awes from her friends. You felt the uncomfortable heat from the full attention of the table.

She paused, waiting. You smiled up at her. You prayed it didn't look as awkward or uncomfortable as you felt.

"…I missed you too." You answered after you realized she had been waiting for you to reply. God you felt stupid. Did they think you were stupid?

The room suddenly felt sweltering hot. You could feel your armpits sweating. Now you were hyper focused on your under arms.

"That's so good to hear, because I want that relationship again… that's why I would love for you to be my maid of honor.” Haley looked sweet and the sentiment was felt around the table.

Shit. You had an idea of why she chose you. More than likely a conspiracy between her mother and yours. The two women had been nagging you for years to try and rekindle the closeness of your childhood, but you were too different now.

Hailey read your expression carefully. All eyes stared awaiting your response as if the question wasn't rhetorical. You couldn't reject her now and she knew it. You felt trapped suffocating from the social pressure.

“Y-yes of course,” your words came out as nervously shaken as you felt. You forced a bigger smile as her friends cheered and congratulated you.

🦋

James announced his best man shortly after, to no surprise of the group.

You unintentionally watched as the blonde ribbed James playfully, the two laughing heartily at something.

His eyes locked with yours accidentally. The sudden shock of being caught had you turning away quickly and engulfing yourself in Haley's banter.

It wasn't hard to follow the conversation. The subject had revolved around her since your arrival and hadn't changed. You pretended to care about the chatter over style of dress and color themes.

You hit your limit. The obligation to your mother fulfilled. You promised her you would stay through dinner.

Your mother wished not only for you to rekindle your relationship with Haley, but she also hoped that somehow her engagement would rub off on you. The desperate need for you to be married off and have grandchildren had ramped up as of late.

She made her presence felt throughout the evening. She had critiqued your clothes, until it passed her approval. You brought over pecan pie at her request to make a good impression. Haley also fed updates via her mother you realized when you got the text of congratulations from your mother.

Getting out of the agreement was now that much more difficult. You hoped that you could talk to Haley privately before your mother found out.

🦋

Sitting, smiling and listening to other people as they talked was painful. Your anxiety would not allow you to believe that your presence was welcome or wanted, by anyone.

Nothing had changed since college.

"Um Haley…. I need to get going. I have work tomorrow."

When Haley took a sip from her glass you were finally able to jump in the conversation. You tried waiting for a lull in their conversation, but found it hard to find one.

She looked almost surprised when you made moves, preparing to leave.

"Wait! Come on I haven't seen you in so long and we have so much to talk about." Haley pleaded. The sentiment was nice, but this was her moment, her celebration and not the time or the place to do a full on reunion.

"We can catch up tomorrow after work." You countered, shouldering your purse.

"Oh no no no! Wait wait a second."

Haley snatched hold of your wrist, halting you from leaving.

"James shots!" Haley shouted across the table excitedly. You winced at her increase in volume. You'd forgotten how loud she could get when she got tipsy. "I know that used to be your favorite."

It wasn't. It was Haley's.

You frowned. There was no point fighting her on it. It would be far less painful if you just went along.

"Its late Haley and I think you've had enough." James pushed back. You felt relieved. Maybe you weren't the only one ready for the night to end.

"Oh come on please?" She playfully pouted, but he sent her a stern look in return. "She's fine… Just one shot. It's a special occasion." She twinkled her ring, emphasizing the point dramatically. Her antiques encouraged by her surrounding friends, but he wasn't move.

She broke his gaze and looked at you pleadingly. The mood was being ruined because of you. The friction made you feel uncomfortable and worse because you were the cause.

"I don't mind doing one shot. They're small right." You looked between the two, hoping for peace.

"Happy wife happy life," his buddy chimed in. James sighed, shaking his head in defeat. Haley preened in her victory as her group cheered, while you silently jeered internally.

"Come on punk. Help me with the glasses."

🦋

The party moved over to the lounge. You found a snug spot in the corner, where you pretended to go through apps.

James returned with a larger than life bottle, while his companion fingered small glasses.

His friend handed out the cups while James poured. Haley was first, receiving a kiss from her fiancé, causing the group to gush while you hid a grimace at the PDA.

"Thank you all once again for coming and being apart of our celebration." She said while raising the glass. James took his spot by her side. He looked just as thrilled as you did to be here, and hid that fact just as poorly.

You bristled at the feel of the arm brushing against you. When you turned in surprise the hulk of a blonde waved an overly filled shot glass in front of you.

"Thank you." You said after receiving it. The clear liquid's scent of the tequila made you wince.

You had expected him to move on but he stayed close by. His closeness made you nervous.

"Looks like we are going to be partners." He talked lowly while Haley continued her speech.

"It would seem so." You whispered back. You smiled thinly and he squinted at your response.

"You don’t remember me do you?"

"Uhh… sorry no."

"Steve. Steve Rogers."

It still didn’t ring a bell.

“Uh….”

"I don't blame you. I pledged with Bucky. Used to be five pounds soaking wet." He chuckled and motioned with his hands as the description started to click. If he was you who you thought then he had a hell of a growth spurt.

You opened your mouth to speak, but Haley cleared her throat. It was an action to regain your attention. Steve and you were the only two in the group with your hands not raised.

"Cheers!" Haley shouted, downing her drink in seconds.

With a huff you lifted and downed it quickly. The haste did not deter the burning nor the taste. It was just as bad as you remembered.

🦋

You felt something cool pressed against your forehead. You groaned and mumbled as you tried to open your eyes, but failed.

You felt disoriented, but you could slightly make out the sound of mechanical humming. It felt like you were in motion, but you didn't know to where.

Darkness drowned you, but the familiar jingle of keys pulled you out. Every blink had you teleported from one place to another.

You felt yourself being pulled toward something. Each step felt like you were trudging through mud, but yet also floating.

It was so confusing.

A burst of cold air had you snuggling into the warmth on your side. You felt too exhausted to think, too drained of energy to understand what was happening.

Buttons on your blouse popped open, one, by one. In one moment you were clothed and in an instant you were naked.

This dream felt so real, but still confusing as any other. The world went from upright to sideways as you drifted on top of a fluffy cloud.

In seconds you felt trapped and smothered.

Panic crept all around you. The nightmare, the wolf, was back. It had been so long.

You reached out to slap it away but your arms felt so weak.

The darkness was too thick to see, but you could tell it was here. You cried as you laid splayed helpless.

It growled as it stayed mounted on top of you.

You murmured your pleases for help. All words sounded gargled and mashed.

Hot breath coated your ear as heat bloomed between your thighs.

There was nothing you could do to stop it.

Your only escape came from the darkness that swallowed you up once again.

🦋

Chapter 2>>>

[windy-trickster]

:3 hi Anahit, why do you reject modern medical practices? has there ever been a time you decided to bite the bullet and, begrudgingly, accept the use of modern medicine?

"'Anahi↓ why do you rejec↓ modern medicine?'" "'Anahi↓ why don'↓ you prac↓ice modern medicine?'" "You're all annoying me wi↓h ↓hese ques↓ions. I don'↓ REJEC↓ any↓hing. I simply wish ↓o learn and experimen↓ wi↓h wha↓ came BEFORE modern medicine. ↓o learn is ↓o grow, simple as ↓ha↓. I wan↓ ↓o go ↓hrough ↓he passage of ↓ime, ↓he "came befores" of wha↓ we know now." "I don'↓ rejec↓ modern medicine, I prac↓ice i↓ jus↓ as much as ↓he older versions. I simply wan↓ ↓o ge↓ a be↓↓er unders↓anding of wha↓ came before. Wha↓ our modern medicine evolved from." "Now do you have any↓hing impor↓an↓ ↓o ask me, s↓ranger?"

[keroppidreams]

so i downloaded tomodachi life for shits and giggles /nostalgia/self indulgence. made me, gin, toshi and a couple of other characters. i made one of my friends (who we shall call 🐸) since they got a big crush on a certain 2d salaryman so i made them. everything is going great, my mii and gin are friends, 🐸's mii is making friends too and is particularly close to gin.

this will become important later.

2d salary man says that he wants to confess to 🐸. i'm like "this is great! 🐸 will be happy!"

salary man confesses to 🐸 mii...and then fucking gin pops out of nowhere and is like "🐸, im in love with you too!"

me: ok whatever, he's most likely going to get rejec-- 🐸: omg gin-san, im so happy you feel the same way!!! me: wait a damn minute--

so basically, 🐸 hooked up with gin, leaving their beloved salary man in the dust while im staring at the screen in shock.

[houseofbrat]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11921479/amp/It-big-mistake-Queen-Consort-Camilla-reject-ivory-sceptre-Coronation.html

Lookie here - our favorite Pearl clutcher in Chief was WRONG again (just like when he exclusively told us the Coronation was in June). His speculation caused so much vile comments towards Queen Camilla from “royalists” and fed the “KC3 is too woke” trolls.

Meanwhile since Eden was proved wrong, the Daily Mail has a new article out to drag Camilla for using the ivory sceptre, which will no doubt keep the hate train going.

The Fleet Street circus rolls on 🎪

There's Richard's pearl clutching article, above.

Camilla will be crowned alongside her husband the King on May 6, during an ancient ceremony at Westminster Abbey featuring deeply symbolic objects representing the royal duties and responsibilities of the sovereign. 

It has now emerged that she will hold two sceptres, will court controversy by using one made with ivory. 

[...]

But despite the Prince's vehement position, Buckingham Palace confirmed on Sunday that the sceptre would be among the regalia used at the coronation.  

The ivory sceptre is part of the crown jewels and regalia held in trust by the monarch for the nation. 

The crown jewels form part of the Royal Collection and have traditionally been held at the Tower of London which is managed by Historic Royal Palaces. 

Kathryn Jones, senior curator of decorative arts, at the Royal Collection Trust, speaking about previous coronation ceremonies, said: 'The Queen is also presented with two sceptres... this is again this symbol of temporal power - so with the cross.

'And the second sceptre, like the King's sceptre, has the dove on the top, (and is) symbolic of equity and mercy. 

And this one the wings are folded, rather than spread, it has the same symbolism - so it's the Holy Spirit.' 

The original coronation regalia was destroyed by order of parliament after King Charles I was executed after the Civil War, briefly leading to a republic with Oliver Cromwell as the head of state.

The regalia was broken up and melted down into gold coins and the jewels were sold. 

The ivory staff which Camilla will use was made in 1685 by Sir Robert Vyner for Queen Mary of Modena, the wife of James II. 

She was the first Queen Consort to participate in a coronation ceremony following the restoration of the monarchy in 1660. 

Symbolic of the monarch's spiritual power, it is topped with a distinctive enamelled dove with spread wings. 

The three-foot-seven-inch-long staff cost £440 in 1661 and is encircled in four places with jewelled colours. 

A Buckingham Palace spokeswoman said: 'As with any historical collection of its size, it is to be expected that the Royal Collection includes items that contain ivory as this reflected the taste at the time.' 

The use of the sceptre was confirmed as part of an announcement from the palace on the regalia that will feature at the service, including the Sovereign's Ring and St Edward's Crown.  

I swear that Richard gets paid to pearl clutch every week. He wouldn't have anything else to say otherwise.

We may need to fetch that man some smelling salts if his belt is on too tight and he faints.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

take 4: the tension (gulf spanned with incomplete, continuously crumbling bridges) between the perspective of oneself as the Deservingly Epic Winner Protagonist Person who dares to be Out Of Line versus the need to actually completely stay in line within this b/c it hinges on being in harmony with the preexisting hierarchies which will supposedly reward the "merit" of this Actor. while everyone whose existence is Inferior, according to the hierarchies, is defined by being Out Of Line, which these same people resent & respond to, also Staying In Line with the hierarchy, by trying to reinforce the dynamics of these inferior / superior groupings. "everything pathologized about the inferior groups / rejected as what's Wrong with their existence so as to "cause" these dynamics is "take 4" b/c this is from me trying to write about winston quant kid 2 billions like holy shit a series operating on this logic huh, giving this unvarnished expression of this perspective b/c it's assuming (& requiring...) we all have it. winston is constantly responded to as Guy Who's Out Of Line. the "superior" parties who hate him & get to have him as their punching bag / hit with the butt of the joke / at least ignored & excluded, but taken advantage of, but who all have to Stay In Line, how's that going for them even when it comes to the writing, where characters can't do anything if it's too disruptive of the In Universe hierarchy, unless it's a finale zone for a permissable shakeup, where ppl insulating/supporting each other being a bit Out Of Line is not a problem b/c they individually recognize each other's transcendently True worthiness in thee objective hierarchy we all assume exists, but definitely can never disrupt the out of universe hierarchy, e.g. the show decides wendy is the true hero, b/c she deserves to be. taylor has to hire back dollar bill & stand back while wags & wendy take the lead & the spotlight & hate the autistic guy they hired & show up so the Winner, who was written into the show with nothing to do but tell taylor they're not quite as good as wendy & then provide a vagina amidst otherwise being an Everyemployee who fails to even differentiate from an Axe Cap style everyemployee, can announce their winningness detached from anything that actually happened ever.

counterpart to winston's departure needing an audience of people to stand there & stay in line, which on that side of the same coin meant punishing his Out Of Lineness that doesn't even act like anyone bothered to think of [this is one particular preexisting guy. you thought he liked scifi once before you lost interest in even suggesting he has interests, though, will roland likes scifi, will roland wore his own open buttonup as quant kid 2 that'd define the Look, will roland happened to have the facial hair just kept for production b/c who would care, will roland brought the entire je ne sais quoi acting interpretation that made quant kid 2 go from "out of line guy we kill once" to "out of line guy we keep around to kill all thee time until finale 'haha but seriously though' material means pushing him out of the way in s6 & then s7 alike" like hmm] like everyone just spitballed "annoying things! cringe loser things! things that would never happen to me, a deserving winner!!" & put it in as easter eggs as though that would even make sense, much less [you have no other priority?] but like. rian's sendoff didn't do any better for acting like she's a specific character who's said & done things we're meant to remember & have thought about then & now. taylor didn't get to have resolution with philip. they Had to have resolution with wendy that, again, has nothing to do with any/everything prior, except perhaps to contradict it. this is what anyone got for Staying In Line like superior winners. the autistic [annoying arrogant inferior undeserving etc] Out Of Lineness that would be so supposedly admired instead seen as pure Other shit that's projected upon ppl so as to Reject it thusly. couldn't be me!! i'm a winner who will always have Superior ranking in the hierarchy & treated accordingly!!! i Must be!!!! like i must Kill people who seem to be disrupting this, even by acting like a person who assumes they're equal to me despite being Different. there all along like wow winston existing Out Of Line is so powerful. he can harmonize with & support taylor so well b/c they're introduced as being so Out Of Line, up to the inevitable point of breaking out & starting their own thing entirely!!! but while it's like, okay yeah, you Have to reel them back in by thwarting them b/c otherwise they break so far from central men's orbit they exit the series or you have to put Them at the center (imagine...) (plus! the role winston plays in them getting as close to this as they ever can be!) but then in the end taylor's just shortchanged b/c when it comes time to take down a central man as thee main thing all season, series finale style, they should be knocking it out in a few episodes with sacker & philip. instead we focus on wendy given the helm & fucking around all season. after disposing of winston b/c who even needs him for anything, this is Stay In Line times, and to do that we can do nothing w/autistic people but hate them & punish them for being undeserving. but don't worry b/c he doesn't get to be so Out Of Line as to easily cause problems for them & thwart them, b/c he just doesn't. taylor waits around on wendy & tells her she's the best b/c they just do. we are all in line on all of this ourselves so whew, there's no Disruption to notice if that key Alignment is maintained. rian was never holding herself Above winston if we just really tentatively suggest she doesn't think that she was, while letting every double standard at play be acted out. rian being "out of line" was that she wasn't being aggressive enough about any of her Superiority, b/c if you didn't leave bruising then nothing was That Bad; cue the assaults and boundary violations Reserved for the inferior losers as fun times & nothing anyone is beholden to with Consequences, we don't even make the viewer stick with the consequences of how it affects the target a second too long, lest you start to think it's Drama & not Jokes.

anyways it's all about the [categorization as inferior Other based on an assumed Hierarchy = inherently defined as Out Of Line] all "why get a formal diagnosis from a professional who doesn't know what to look for when at age 5 my peers went 'something's wrong with this one' & acted 'accordingly'" like even when people "know" what's Wrong with someone to make them the odd one out / "incompatible" w/what makes others exist Right, it's time to interpret everything else about them as "backing that up" no matter what, certainly no matter if it involves theoretically Valued concepts, b/c it's all first & foremost Staying In Line with the hierarchy, where the correct way to do things is: if you Can push someone else into greater vulnerability while you're established as Insulated, you Do. tl;dr winston inherently continuously Out Of Line; being "superior" requires an ultimate (&/or also quite Immediate. especially when it comes to "simple" matters already "correctly" arranged in the supposed Objective Hierarchy, like: winston's "objectively" inferiority (autistic swag)) Staying In Line. and what comes of it. all the most engaging & complex shit when people get to not actually stay in line. the power of it if taylor & tmc & allies didn't have to ultimately be shoved into Staying In Line even when it means wendy is the best & oh who cares about taylor & philip when wags is around etc etc. if winston being someone Out Of Line was seen as relevant & not an easy nonstop joke. while a quant who is so In Line as to correctly personally abuse him even more than others are doing is so ""out of line"" as to decide she's already gotten everything she wants & may as well live the dream now, b/c she's not an aggressive man, one has to suppose, same diff as wendy getting to believe she's Better than everyone & is nobly in charge of orchestrating their fates when she Means & Knows so well, & is somehow pitted against prince being this same figure but without having to confront that fact. he's mean! or whatever. he's talking about killing people & wendy isn't so that sorts it out forever. "abuse your local autists; it's funny & their fault & consequenceless b/c they're not real people" is also harmonious with all our ideas. edgy rulebreaking bold independent Out of Line heroes completely in accord w/the established hierarchies. & those whose existence threatening peership disrupts it who are written off losers who could never upend those heroes' goings on. everyone Actually being peers is unimagineable, not as a figure of speech. we do not imagine it, what are you even talking about. now for the Merited Hierarchy to be acted out as arranged, which is fun, god i wish that were me. Independent Agents ascending it only!! & people who Cheat to get in like loser nerds w/their math, b/c they can't Deserve it. now to keep insisting that everyone else could just be On My Level if they tried, while also responding violently if it seems like weirdos / ppl who aren't Supposed to be here are infringing on my level (the only violence is physical strikes that made contact, & perhaps killed you)

anyways just another installment of [fake fans haunted by billions, & other things which are in real life, such as the fictional series billions] musings i have to excise at all b/c [this was take 4]. winston Out Of Line. superior correct winners who have to Stay In Line at related great costs despite the supposed associated wins of that. his autistic swag. knowing ppl Are different autism style b/c they're "out of line." encountering irl autistic people without realizing it & repeatedly writing "this nerd guy is just So annoying ugh!! he's just like weird & doing everything wrong for no reason & won't just Be Normal or Shut Up & Go Away!! but at least his intractible arrogant cluelessness also means we have fun punishing & taking advantage of him" Type butt of jokes into things. those cringe loser Insistently Annoying Weirdo nerds who we all find insufferable & punish, we all know them, inherent Inferior Other Out Of Line that they are. now it's a Guy we all hate & enjoy seeing suffer & Understand as a less deserving less [person] just dropped into the periphery of this fiction. he will easily be thwarted from an alliance with the [person designed to be Out of Line in a way that Is considered Legitimate] that would let them shatter the limits of the series in 5 sec which we're also holding them back by the scruff of the neck to prevent anyways while pushing forward ppl supposed to be even More correct b/c uh um they're a little more Normal, & perhaps even Women, who are innately more caring & gentle. there they go hurting those around them as much as they can, with nothing stopping them at all, but they're using their inside voices & not issuing physical threats so that's what i'm talking about. that is heroic, vs the villainous efforts to navigate life as though everyone will respect them as a fellow person which Autists egregiously pull, to which you can do anything you want to Reject this. maybe even decide you wanna personally use them. isn't that nice of you. no, we don't know what to do with the "this guy won't stop acting like he gets to think he's a person" but eventually send him away after the dozen trampled boundaries to punish him for fun b/c what else was the point of him? anyways don't worry i saw the autistic swag. the nonbinary swag it didn't even know was there. the nonbinary swag it knew was there but held back by the scruff of the neck b/c all billions' most engaging, potential filled characters are the ones Held Back b/c they're threatening too much [out of line] / their out of Lineness must be contained; vs everyone perfectly in line who keeps being pushed in front of them no matter what b/c uhhh.

let's go Out of Line gang. continual inevitable Disruption of the norm(tm). like even just standing there vs "oh immediately i fucking Hate this guy." billions where anyone considers winston for 5 sec would also shatter apart. taylor would be too powerful even more than they already are if they didn't have to stay wendy's sidekick no matter what. rian who didn't have to come back from the hiatus even more "right" than they presumably intended her to always be (bound to thee hierachy / actually always Staying In Line. if she's out of it, psych, actually that was just a correction of the "objective" hierarchal order waiting to reconfigure itself around the situation). standing around waiting like okay but the payoff that Could happen....okay still time though lol....well here we are

the fundamentalness of the Out Of Lineness. quantessential....send post

[inavagrant-a]

Me, laying on the floor in a pool of my own tears: Kuni’s gonna try to show people that he means no harm and people are gonna rejec t him and let him know he’s not welcome d.

[gamblins]

prompt | Nightmares | accepting | @rejec sent:

‘Hey, hey, hey! It was a nightmare. You were having a nightmare.’

the radio buzzed into the darkened hall, the buzz was a never ending hum as husk was laughing in his casino, gambling, mingling & drinking. but the sound of the radio was buzzing louder and louder & the world the people faded into not but black ash " NO " husk yelled out. ears flopped down, as the world faded into red, the radio buzzed louder.

breath was heavy, green chain wrapped around his neck. a hard tug caused the feline to fall onto knees " no . . . . " trembling, claws wrapped around him. as the radio demon approached " i followed your rules alastor LET ME GO . " just the smile was seen before his existence faded into nothing but the sound of the radio of his screaming.

husk screamed " NO ! " he yelled waking himself up from the dream. his breath was heavy , hand brushing through hair. the rest of his fur was sticking up. fear "vaggie , sorry , sorry . . . it felt too fucking real . it felt so real " he trembled clenching his sheets " did i wake you . . . did i wake everyone . fucking hell shit im sorry " mumbling softly his pupils were nearly gone as the fear continued to linger as it could be real it could be

[toasted-frootloops]

One For All REVAMP ~ Chapter 2 - Waking Up

BLU - Normal RED - Bold ~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout walks inside the BLU base, the other men stopping and looking over in shock as Spy looks outside before closing the door and walking over to the crowd. Scout rushes up to Medic and looks at him with worry.

Scout: Doc, please, you gotta help her! Please!

Medic: Oh my goodness, quick, rests her on the couch.

Scout runs over to the old green couch and lays her down, moving back and breathing heavily as the other mercs surround the couch. They all look down at the girl in shock, seeing all the marks and wounds covering her body.

Sniper: Dear God...

Demoman: This poor lass, what the hell happened to her?

Medic: Scout, where did you find this girl?

Scout: I was getting some fresh air and went for a jog. I ended up going near the RED base and I decided to sneak inside.

Soldier: You what?!

Engineer: Do you have any idea how dangerous that is, boy?

Pyro: *mumbles* "Not to mention stupid."

Scout: I know but I spotted the RED medic over there in some weird secret room. I snuck inside and...well, I found her.

Scout walks close to her and crouches down by her, looking at her face.

Spy: Do we even know who this girl is?

Medic: I don't know, but it seems that Medic was torturing her.

Pyro: *mumbles loudly* "That RED doctor is a maniac!"

Heavy: So true, Pyro.

The men all chatted quietly, unsure of what to do with this girl. Scout stands up and turns away from her as he keeps explaining what happened on his jog. As they all keep talking, the girl groans and starts to wake up, fluttering her eyes a little. Spy looks over and sees her waking up and gestures to her.

Spy: She's waking up. Are you alright, miss?

The others turn around to face her as her eyes adjust, seeing familiar faces, but now in blue uniforms. She spots the knife in Scout's back pocket, grabbing it and shouting at the men. Scout yelps in shock as he spins to face her. She moves to sit up, wincing and gasping in pain as she holds the knife out towards the men.

Unknown: Get...get the hell away from me!

Medic: Relax, we're not here to hurt you.

Unknown: Bullshit! Stay the hell away from me!

The girl stands up and bites her lip hard, trying to not tear up from the sheer pain pulsing through her body, the hand holding the knife starting to shake from her pain. Spy steps forward for a moment and puts his hands out slowly, the girl aiming the knife at him.

Spy: Look, we're not going to hurt you. We're not RED.

Unknown: You think I'm that stupid? Just because you changed your color doesn't mean a damn thing!

Scout: No, really, you're okay here.

Unknown: Shut up!

As she shouts, she coughs, spitting up blood as she falls back onto the couch, groaning and dropping the knife onto the floor. Scout slowly approaches her and crouches down, watching her as she pants and wipes her blood from her lips.

Scout: I promise, okay? If we were gonna hurt you, don't you think something would have happened by now?

She goes silent and looks at Scout with concern, still unsure of her surroundings.

Scout: I...I got in there and I untied you. I brought you over here because these guys can help.

Unknown: You untied me?

Scout: Yeah, I...I guess I saved you.

Scout chuckles a little as the girl scoffs and looks away from him, Medic slowly walking up and observing her wounds. She looks at him with a slight snarl on her face as he adjusts his glasses.

Medic: Hmm, your wounds are quite extreme. I must patch you up before they get any worse.

Unknown: As if, I'm not letting you touch me.

Sniper: He's only trying to help you, sheila.

Unknown: Up yours, asshole. I'm not moving...!

Sniper gasps and growls softly at the girl's snappy attitude, Medic quickly stepping in between the two.

Medic: I'll have Scout come with us. It seems you'll need some help to walk to my office.

She looks at Medic, then Scout, then back to Medic. She sighs softly in defeat and stands up, leaning on the couch for support. Scout puts his hand out, but she rejects it as she starts limping towards Medic, losing her footing and falling back. Scout dashes over and catches her, taking one arm and slinging it over his shoulder as he helps her walk. Medic leads the two towards the infirmary, opening the door for the two.

Medic: Scout, could you please help our patient onto the bed?

Scout: Sure thing, doc.

Unknown: Don't try anything, I won't think twice about kicking the shit out of you...

Scout gently lifts her onto the bed, the girl wincing and gritting her teeth as she looks over at the Medic.

Unknown: That warning goes to you, too.

Medic: Well, once your legs are patched up, then I'll accept the threat.

Scout: Don't worry, the doc is gonna make sure you're okay.

Medic: I will need to ask you a few questions if that's alright.

Unknown: Fine, but he's not leaving the room. I don't trust you won't try anything.

She points to Scout and he looks at her in surprise, backing up and leaning against the wall of the room. Medic grabs some bandages and a scanner, walking over to the bed.

Medic: Let's start with something simple. What's your name?

Unknown: ...Laina G. Smokes. Most people call me Smokey.

Medic: Well, at least it's nice to put a name to the face.

Medic starts looking over Smokey and starts wrapping up some of her visible wounds.

Medic: Now, Smokey, was it? Do you remember how you ended up out here?

Scout: Yeah, you'd have to be really off course to end up in a literal battlefield.

Medic: Scout...

Medic gives Scout a glare and Scout shuts up, putting his hands in his pockets as Smokey sighs softly.

Smokey: I was on a bus trip to see my father. He's in jail and he's quite a far way out. I got off at the wrong stop and got lost in the desert. I...I found somebody and he brought me back to this massive building. Last thing I remember was feeling my head in a lot of pain, then ended up waking up in the chair.

Scout: What did the guy look like?

Smokey: Um, a bit older, he was smoking and...he was wearing a red suit.

Medic: That would have been the RED Spy.

Scout: How long have you been there?

Smokey goes quiet as she tries to recall the time. Medic sighs softly as continues to wrap up some of the scars all over her body. She groans and winces as she looks at Medic.

Smokey: Hey, watch it...!

Medic: Did you think that this was going to tickle?

Smokey rolls her eyes and looks back over to Scout.

Smokey: At least three months.

Scout: Three months? How the hell aren't you dead?

Smokey: The Medic over there heals me, gives me scraps and it restarts. I don't ever leave the room.

Scout: It explains why you were so light. They don't even feed ya anything?

Smokey: Well, nothing that'll actually benefit me. Like I said, mostly scraps, whatever they feel generous enough to give me.

Medic: Hmm, well most of the outer wounds are healed but I will need to do an X-ray to see if there are any internal injuries.

Smokey: Yeah, you'll find plenty. That asshole red doctor bashed my ribs to shit with a metal bat.

Scout and Medic look at each other and she winces as she readjusts herself, resting one hand on her left side.

Medic: Well, I will need you to undress for me, just into your underwear so that the X-ray isn't obstructed.

Smokey sighs softly as she looks over at Scout. He locks eyes with her for a moment and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. She groans and looks away from him as Medic fixes his glasses.

Medic: Scout, could you perhaps give the young lady here some privacy?

Scout: Oh, yeah...! I'll uh, I'll just be outside.

Scout grabs the door handle and makes his way out of the doctor's room as Smokey looks over at Medic unimpressed.

Smokey: You too, I don't want you peeking.

Medic: No problem, I'll just prepare the machine.

Medic walks over to his desk as Smokey leans over, checking to make sure he isn't watching her as she carefully takes her shirt off. She twinges and cusses under her breath from the pain, dropping the shirt on the floor. She carefully takes off her pants, groaning and wincing as she slowly shimmies them down her legs. Medic listens to her pain as he prepares everything, turning his head a little.

Medic: Are you alright?

Smokey: I'm in pain, but I'm fine.

Medic: Very good, everything is ready for the X-ray.

He turns around and walks back over to the bed, looking at the young woman. She pants and breathes heavily as she lays back. Medic tilts and readjusts his glasses as he looks over her battered and wounded body. She looks at him and groans.

Smokey: Not a word, and don't try anything.

Medic: I won't say a word, Miss Laina.

~~~~~~~~

Some time passes and Scout is in his room, flexing in front of his mirror. He hypes himself up and kisses his muscles as soft footsteps approach his bedroom door. Smokey breathes softly as she rests one hand on her side, looking in and scoffing quietly at the idiot flexing and showing off to his mirror.

Scout: Oh man, that's beautiful.

Smokey: Yeah, real beautiful. Are you twelve?

Scout yelps and turns around, a light flustered blush crossing his face as she faces Smokey. He nervously laughs as she leans against the doorway for support.

Scout: You scared the crap out of me! Jeez...did the doc fix you up?

Smokey: What he can for now. My ribs still fucking kill but hey, I'm not coughing up blood anymore.

Scout gulps and chuckles sheepishly as he walks closer to her. She sighs and looks over at him.

Smokey: Hey...Scout, right?

Scout: Yeah?

Smokey: I...

She lets out a long sigh and avoids eye contact with him for a moment.

Smokey: I...appreciate you for getting me out of there.

Scout: Oh, well you're welcome.

Smokey: Let me be clear, I'm not thanking you. I still don't trust you as far as I could throw you. But, at least here I'm not in that fucking chair.

Scout: O-Of course, I get that. I mean anything would have to be better than that.

There is silence for a moment before Smokey clears her throat and lifts herself off of the door frame.

Smokey: I'm heading back to the doctor's room. He told me I gotta stay in there tonight in case of medical emergencies.

Scout: Oh, no problem. Good night.

Smokey nods to Scout and starts making her way towards Medic's ward. Scout stretches and yawns as he turns around and starts getting ready for bed. He sits on his bed and rests his head in his hands for a moment before undressing and getting into his bed.

[stories-poetry4all]

“I, Emma Parker, rejec…,” I started speaking, but Alpha Logan stopped me by putting his hand over my mouth. He pulled me closer to him and growled.

“I am not letting you do this, Emma. I’ve waited for you for months, and I am not going to lose you!” His eyes held so much pain, and his voice was laced with panic.

“You are mine, and I am not letting you go,” he said as he leaned in and pressed a small kiss on my forehead.

****

Emma’s POV

I woke up early in the morning and got up right away. I was excited. Really, really excited. Tomorrow is my birthday. Tomorrow, I will be 18, and I will meet my wolf. I couldn’t wait to shift for the first time. They say it is painful, but I didn’t care about that part. It is just for a little while, and it gets easier later. I can survive a little bit of pain.

I just wished that my parents were here to see me shift for the first time. My father, Alpha Luke’s Beta, and my mom died protecting Alpha, Luna, and their son from a rogue attack.

After their deaths, my brother Andrew became Beta. He and our Alpha had been best friends since childhood, and now they run our pack together.

I finished high school a few months ago, and all I have to do now is train. After the attacks, my brother and our Alpha decided that all pack members must train to be able to defend themselves.

The Alpha, Beta, and pack healers are the only ones who leave the pack to go train for their positions. They go to different packs where they learn everything needed for their positions in a pack. The training lasts for about a year.

We have to train every day, but tomorrow, I get a day off because it is my birthday and my first shift. It is a special occasion. The first shift is important because you get to meet your wolf and your mate.

My brother still hasn’t found his mate. And neither did our Alpha. So, until he does, his mother, Gloria, still has the Luna title and does the Luna duties.

I asked her to be present for my first shift. She accepted and gave me a big hug. It is a big deal to be present for a wolf’s first shift. At least in our pack. Each pack has its own tradition, but in ours, only the wolves you choose get to witness your first shift. And it was an honor to be chosen.

I chose my brother, Luna Gloria, and my friends Amy and Jacob. They were all honored and excited for me.

I had to go to training soon, so I put on my black tights, training bra, grey hoodie, and black Nike sneakers. As I was going downstairs, I heard some strange noise… It was my brother and… Logan? The Alpha of our pack?

“Wake her up,” Logan growled. “Now.”

“I am awake,” I said and started walking down the stairs.

I stopped in the middle to look at Logan.

“Logan?” My brother called him.

“She is my mate,” Logan said through his teeth.

My brother grasped and looked up at me. I nodded and looked back at Logan. He was standing there looking at me with a cold expression on his face. His fists were clenched, and his posture was rigid.

I felt a sharp pang when I realized that…