#Hey Guys. Guess Who I'm Extremely Incredibly Normal About Right Now

[vidapon]

i just know hes never had a good sleep ever in his life

[honeybeekao]

Top 10 enstars relationships (doesn't have to be romantic!)

im so glad i can draft ask responses because i cannot do this all in one go, im not that insane

1. madarei - who would've guessed! i know ive sorta defined myself with them, which wasnt intentional but i'm very very fond of characters who help eachother feel more human, and worthy of life. putting self sacrificial little gay people together is my favorite thing! they care too much about others it makes me lose it. i feel like the way madara can't not hate certain people contrasting with how rei can't not love certain people is interesting. i think the way they both retreat from connection because of how they view themselves as evil monsters is heartbreaking. they were both driven overseas at age 17 and grew up in weird situations. i think they deserve a break, both need more sleep and love, and they should also kiss probably

2. oh god here we go with the kaoru relationships chiakao - theyre so gay and stupid and oblivious are you Kidding me. chiaki's head over heels actually and kaoru has no idea. he also will not acknowledge how much he cares about this sunshine boy or why he feels the need to call him a sunshine boy and i feel like every pairing w kaoru is just trying to win kaoru over. get him to realize he also has a heart that beats a little too fast when in the same room as certain people. date plan is my favorite story is it obvious have i said this before idk i love kaoru so many people love kaoru Hey kaoru. there's a fic i really love where kaoru takes care of chiaki's wounds during 2nd year and it's so good. it establishes that chiaki is on his radar, but he wont acknowledge it and chiaki's just like 0_0 the entire time. i feel like kaoru's proud of him for how far he's come and that's probably a mutual feeling since they both changed a lot.

3. the oddballs - they make me sad catch me sobbing over the oddballs bot on twitter, their entire story is so aighdfgddgkxdg Flails hands in the air! kanata feels like the center to me despite rei's existence just because of how important the student council taking control of the fish cult is. taking lonely characters with extreme talent and skill n isolating them more is so evil and kanata specifically just???? adhhhghhghgghughh definitely appreciates and loves the others as dear friends, the beginning to him and shu's relationship is interesting to me of Course shu doesn't like him originally. but they have similarities in that they grew up with no friends, just one was praised and worshipped while the other was bullied. big difference there. also good lord my memory on everything with wataru is failing me right now just know i really like the oddballs. REI AND WATARU IN AQUARIUM MADE ME SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY.

4. reikao - are they popular and basic to some people? yeah. do i care? absolutely fucking not i love them, platonic or romantic it doesnt matter i really like them and i have a kaoru polycule rotating in my brain. i think the way rei gave kaoru the chances he needed to establish his identity as an idol is amazing and rei is soooo fond of him. so unbelievably fond of him <3 kaoru being able to get past his fear of commitment because his need to be helpful is stronger means everything to me, him helping rei out with leading undead. jzjfdjgkg loses my mind

5. crazy:b in general - theyre so dysfunctional i cant believe they manage to make it work. but at the same time i'm just incredibly fond of them. the way himeru sees kohaku as similar to kaname makes mecgkdhfhfh OUHGHHFFHHGG and the way kohaku does in a way reciprocate that brotherly affection. specifically loved when he was like "hey guys! listen t'himeru!!" rinne and niki are a disaster theres something so horribly silly about niki being at the center of madness constantly. poor guy. and it's not even that himeru and kohaku are necessarily disasters, it's just that rinne likes him most so he ends up the center of chaos. also he's the one working a normal job DGJDFJFDJ i think they all think too much and should voice their thoughts more, that'd solve many problems. im looking at rinne directly.

6. chiakana - ohhhh themmmmm the beloveds the angels i wanna cradle them in my arms. married couple but the happy married couple. i said this before but chiaki absolutely gets hurt constantly performing tricks, and kanata scolds him for not being careful and i think theyre best friends for life!!! i Love that chiaki teaches kanata so much and i love that like. chiaki meets this weird lonely guy and cares about him . chiaki has a big heart chiaki would risk drowning a million times to save kanata. THE LINE WHERE KANATA BECOMES RYUSEI BLUE MELTED MY HEART oigh ryuseitai OUHFJDHH also them hugging. that's all.

7. reikei - i try not to let them make me sad but if it happens it cant be helped... divorced </3 the way that rei still thought of keito as a childhood friend while keito was just overcome with jealousy Man keito has made a lot of mistakes in his life tjdjfjgjg my eloquence on this is so gone i think everything with deadmanz is a fucking nightmare rei im so sorry. i do think they can reconcile, like u say the enstars characters are really young and have an entire life ahead of them. i think about your reikei drabble when i think about them because it's cute and i love how you write keito

8. izukao - my friend got me into them Really fast, but then dance on ice ruined my life and now i need to see kaoru talk to izumi more. they constantly wanna impress eachother and kaoru is so casual with him it makes me lose it. the fact that izumi says kao's only redeeming quality is his looks? i dont believe you. you Gotta at least commend him for his dedication to u. i think kaoru's in love with him he just doesnt know it also i love their nicknames for eachother ALSO ADDING IN CHIAKI 3A trio my beloveds!!!! theyre disasters Ough. i love kaoru this entire post is just a lovepost to ksoru. he deserves so much love all these bitches love kaoru

9. narumika - Sidenote why is narumika the popular name and not aramika? is it because of the name naruchan and the fact she prefers that? it feels like a tododeku situation w inconsistent ship names but anyway awwwawwawaw theyre ride or die friends for life mika is arashi's poor little meow meow i forgot who said this to me but theyre So right. mika could do anything and arashi would not bat an eye, she'll support him til the end! the way she worries for mika's wellbeing is really sweet, and i think it's so good she's there for him. i'll admit i havent gotten too far as far as seeing/reading canon moments but know i will one day because im fond of them

10. rei and a forehead kiss goodnight

[thejudgingtrash]

can we pleeeease talk about how rushed the whole Nico and Will relationship was? They talked for 2 minutes, don't see each other forever and boom they're together. Like ??? When did that happen? Certainly not in the books? (okay I haven't read the books in ages, but it felt so forced and extremely rushed or is it just me? I'm queer myself so I'm all for LGBTQ+ representation, but that's not it)

Alright let’s tackle this! Sorry for answering so late, I always answer asks that will be longer super late ^^ anyway. I’ve sorta received this ask twice but the other one has more focused on Nico with a little bit Solangelo on the side so I’ll just fully tackle the Solangelo side on this one.

I have three simple issues with Solangelo.

Age

Substance

Fandom

Alright. Let’s start off with the first point or problem. Age. Or rather time. As in timeline. Because we all know that Rick Riordan basically spins a wheel whenever it comes to his timeline and I won’t go fully into the maths because I’m terrible at it and I’m not in the mood for embarrassing myself in that metier. Anyway, let’s proceed. My question is: what is their canonical age? The one from Will and the one from Nico?

I’ve caught glimpse in a group convo at the fact that Will was supposed to be 18 actually if you pay close attention to pjo? And I mean Nico is like 15 or something? Which is also sorta wrong? Because Riordan made him younger than Hazel who was 14 in the Herpes of Olympus saga. 14 and 18 is a fuck no from me, son. I guess Riordan forgot that HOO essentially took place in two days or something.

Riordan aging his characters down or rather refusing to let them age (looking at you, Percy and Annabeth!) because it doesn't convenience him isn’t something new. So, should they be mathematically speaking have that much of an age gap, yeah. That is problematic. That’s Frazel level kinda problematic. Even worse. I know that people are more inclined to look past age gaps in same-sex relationships but I always wondered why? There’s still a disproportionate level of maturity + a mighty power imbalance. So yeah. Watch out for that. Also they’re kids. So there’s no need in tying the knot and popping expensive champagne for their wedding just yet.

I mean I don’t have a problem with the time traveling aspect as in Nico still being mentally and physically a kid/teen. A little odd, sure. It’s not like Nico and Will are Edward and Bella and Nico’s goth ass is mentally aging along and stalking Will’s sorry self. It’s still weird because it’s so unbelievable? Nico is barely struggling finding his way into the modern world, chills at Hades and calls it a day? Now that’s something I have an issue with. I need more struggle. I need more vocab mix-ups. Nico’s brain exploding at the modern world. The difference between the 1940s and the late 2000s is massive. That isn’t just oh, weird little haircuts and why are women wearing pants, it would be not being able to comprehend things and questioning every new little object. Will could’ve been an amazing support character for such an arch, buuuut I’m deviating from my actual point. The timeline/age-line in the Riordanverse is for sure more on the concerning part for all new characters + OG side characters.

Second point. Substance. The thing you’ve touched in your ask.

How and when did Nico and Will become a thing? My memory is terrible and I’m too lazy to browse the wiki. The only thing I remember was Will being a nagging bitch in Blood of Olympus after Nico essentially said “I've got to move on and be who I am, I just don't belong here, I hope you understand, we might find a place in this world someday, but at least for now... I gotta go my own way...” to Percy who just went ??? That marked the beginning for this ship. Basically. I think. Well... I said before in my Percabeth ship roast (more like ship analysis, I have to redo that, that was way too mild and unfunny, omfg): most of the romance is in your head because there’s barely anything romantic in Riordan’s books to begin with (which we all should actually be thankful for!). This applies to essentially every goddamn ship in this series but especially Solangelo. Holy fuck. Y’all are pulling out the wildest stuff out of your ass based on... what exactly? I mean props for creativity!

It is abundantly clear to me at least, that Riordan didn't write Nico with the intention of being gay. There was no real indication in the Percy Jackson series (and I refuse to believe that he was this sort of mastermind, that plotted about doing all of this behind Disney’s back to get the gays and latinos in. There’s a market for everything and diversity was a coming trend in the 2010s).

One could say: Hey! Isn’t it great that Nico wasn’t labeled as being gay? It normalizes homosexuality and makes sure that the lgbtq+ community isn’t something abstract but rather folk like me and you. And to that I’d say yes, I mostly agree if the follow-up arch is believable and plausible. Which it isn’t in my opinion. We jump from the Heroes of Olympus saga to The Trials of (Mo)Lester I mean Apollo and we’re having this HUGE jump? From barely knowing each other to being soulmates, sitting next to each other, hanging out, going on in their business, having the picket white fence, two kids, three dogs, living in a gentrified neighborhood and baking cherry pie on Sundays? HOW IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DID ALL OF THIS HAPPEN?! That is incredibly rushed. 

Aren’t...you shippers....Mad? That’s so cheap? I’d say so? Wouldn’t you like to have more pre-existing relationship and plausible development? With Percabeth you at least have a five book long progression, Solangelo is Riordan basically taking a dump on your plate and forcing you to eat it. And no, Riordan teasing the last Apollo doesn’t count.

Additionally, wouldn’t it be way better to still have a character say “Yeah, I’m gay. Pass me that salt, will ya?” without it being gimmicky or a foil or something for woke points? Just showing kids: “Hey, if you think this is a label that suits you, it’s fine! It’s perfect even! No worries!” (Also, the “coming out scene” with Jason and Cupid wasn't it, my loves. That was horrifying and insulting imo).

I mean. Show and tell are powerful tools in narration and telling more than often resolves unnecessary conflict/dialogue. And whereas season one from Percy Jackson had barely anything in that direction with Nico’s identity, season two didn’t make it any better. And season three is a complete cluster fuck.

Yeah. For me, the ship is super rushed.

Final point. The fandom.

I have to inter-subjectively state that Solangelo shippers are fucking crazy. I know Percabeth shippers (including me, helloooo) and especially the Annabeth stans for some odd reason are insane, but Solangelo shippers take the fucking cake and then some. There’s already a disconnect between the age groups in the fandom and it’s clear that more of the older teens and adults center around the Percy Jackson story and some in the Heroes of Olympus sequel, but from what I’ve seen the Trials of Apollo fandom is super young and on a whole different level. Might be the reason why facing some criticisms seems harder, because the minute you open your mouth to say something about Solangelo, you have people attacking you left and right. Chill guys, it’s not that deep? And it’s definitely not a personal attack on you. After all, I don’t know who you are and tbh Idgaf. 

Talking about the lack of substance, fanon will automatically come in and fill the gaps. Which is fine and something we all do, but I really have to wonder about the levels of extremes that some take?

We all center around certain tropes and what not and while the trope and dynamic behind Solangelo isn’t particularly something for me, I really have to ask why people are behind it. Don’t get me wrong. My question is touching on more on M/M fetishization because I think that is mostly the driving force for some people rather than liking the actual ship? I see more people projecting things into Nico and Will and it’s really turning their characters into something they aren’t? Especially with Nico, who gets turned into this 5 ft. UwU punk princess which is hella strange???

All in all, I don’t have anything against the ship apart from it’s overrushed nature and Riordan’s wacky timeline. Do whatever you want with it (apart from fetishizing and sexualizing the ship), no one’s stopping you from liking it. But I do believe there are some things to look out for, especially in the fandom.

Take it easy, guys.

[punkrock-writer]

Space Cowboy- part 4

Roasting the Shit Out of Toro Because He Deserves It 

Pairing- Din Djarin x F!OC

Warnings- Mentions blood, fighting, swearing, Canon Typical Violence. Spoilers for The Mandalorian

A/N- WOAH It is here. 5.3k words. The longest chapter so far. Let me know what you guys think, is it still too short or too long, lemme know. And yeah, the end IS cheesy. I am the Mayor of Cheeseville it should be expected. 

And a reminder Din is de-aged a bit, he's around mid to late 20′s here, just for a little more ~spice~

Let me know what you think! I love hearing from ya’ll it helps me a lot :D 

Masterlist AO3 

She honestly didn't know how he was so quiet. That collection of Ironman armor should make much more noise than it does. Or he could have at least woken her up before screaming.

"HEY" Sedona jumped violently. Her eyes springing open in panic, he wasn't in the ship, but his voice echoed throughout it. She heard the panicked voice of Peli yelling outside. She scooted further into the middle of the hull to peer out of the open door. Din looked as intimidating as he could, shoulders raised and feet wide. Peli marched from her office up to him, cradling a wailing Grogu.

"Give him to me" she wanted to laugh. The paternal instincts kicked in so fast, albeit a bit misplaced and underdeveloped. But he tried his best.

"Not so fast! You can't just leave a child all alone like that." Peli cried out, though not entirely alone, she was right. "You know, you have an awful lot to learn about raisin' a young one."

And then much to Sedona's discomfort, Peli's eyes met hers.

"AND leaving an injured lady! No water or bandages, that isn't very kind. Prisoner or not." She scowled up at the towering Mandalorian, whose head slowly turned to meet hers. She quickly scooted herself back against the crate. She wasn't ready for that kind of attention, she needed to get her thoughts in order.

"Anyway-" she racked her brain as she heard Peli continue to talk about the ship. She had gotten this far in the episode, and Din had obviously made the deal with... that motherfucker whom she cannot remember the name of. She was so focused on trying to remember she didn't even notice Din had walked back onto the ship.

"I thought I told you not to talk to anyone." His voice made her jump once again, it was rough, a warning. Her wide eyes met his visor, and suddenly the right words met her tongue.

"Don't leave him alone with the bounty" they were rushed, she probably looked crazier than Peli's wild curls. "Y-you can't trust him, something bad is going to happen."

She watched as he turned with a bag in his hand. He looked like he was going to speak, or step closer to her, his body seizing up. Instead, his gloved hand curled into a fist at his side, and he spun quickly on his heel and exited her line of sight. She heard the pair talk a bit more, mostly Peli talking at Din's retreating back. Then she was alone again. And her ass hurts.

Standing up was much easier now that the magic space goo had somehow healed her knees. Though she had extreme doubts, she sincerely hoped Din might heed her warning. She really did not wan't to be caught in the crossfire of their shoot out that was soon to come. Maybe that was the worst part about being plunked into this universe. The constant dread of knowing what's going to happen, and having no power to change it, was going to destroy her. She could already feel the way her body sagged with exhaustion. The ever-present headache was taking a toll on her mind, and her fight or flight response was kicked into high gear. She hadn't felt like this in years.

Trying to keep her mind from straying too far into the darkness. She decided to do some light exploration of the Razor Crest. She wouldn't touch anything, as Din so kindly instructed. But she was definitely going to touch all over with her eyes. First, she was going to figure out if that man had a shower. She turned opposite the open door and headed in the direction of what looked like an airplane toilet. She was pleased to find a small door stationed adjacent to the weird space toilet. Obviously hidden from view on the show, it was a rickety metal sheet. Actually, everything on the ship was a metal sheet, but she wasn't going to roast it too harshly. Opening it, the oval-shaped door created an edge that she had to step over to enter the small room. The floor and walls were tiled, and there was a small drain in the middle. A large ledge jutted out from the wall at about knee height, above it was what looked like a sink, and a small foggy mirror. Avoiding its reflection, she ventured back further. There was a curtain, pulling it back revealed a showerhead and a series of ledges cut into the wall. She tried to keep her heart from fluttering at the sight of soap bars, and a razor. Then heat began to creep up her spine, embarrassment making its way to her cheeks.

How fucking old are you 13? Get a hold of yourself.

She spun quickly not wanting to be caught snooping. She felt like a high school girl who had just seen her crush's room for the first time. She was 26 for fucks sake, and it was a bathroom.

On a space ship.

On an unknown planet.

In a universe that had once only existed in media form.

She wasn't able to wallow in her embarrassment much longer, through the open door she saw Peli return from wherever she had followed Din. She walked with determination, coming up to some kind of machine that was attached to the ship. Sedona didn't really know what to do, she stood awkwardly in the hull of the ship. Listening to Peli mutter to herself, she hated feeling like this. She liked to be moving or at least distracting her brain in some way. Now there was only the unfamiliar ship, her bags were already organized neatly- and then it hit her.

She still had her phone in her purse.

Springing into action she darted for her bag, rummaging through it until she finally found it. It was an iPhone and she still had her headphones attached to it. Her heart soared in her body, unable to contain her smile at the sight, relieved to find at least this thing hadn't magically transformed into a space object. But clicking it on she was met with slight disappointment. Only 32% charged, and the fact that her phone was wicked old and functioned at about 60% of its normal battery life, it would be dying soon. There are no outlets in space. She thought angrily. So she sighed and set it back into her purse, deciding to save it for when she truly needed a mental escape. For now, she could maybe go and see what Peli was up to.

And that's how she spent her first evening in space. She sat at the table, watching Peli fix the Crest. Or making sure the child didn't eat sand or some shit. Peli didn't talk much while she worked, which she was secretly grateful for. Only asking occasional questions, or pausing to complain about the old ship. Sedona didn't offer much, vague answers, allowing the older woman to speak more than herself. She really didn't feel like having to convince someone else she's from an alternate universe. Especially someone who was very much capable of throwing her into the endless Tatooine desert.

In time it grew darker in the hangar. Peli wiped her hands off on her jumpsuit, leaving grease marks in her wake. Sedona held a sleeping Grogu in her arms, he had been quite a hassle for her to wrangle with her hands still cuffed together. He was quick, and incredibly sneaky when he wanted to be. He currently held some kind of bolt in his little clawed hands, one of the braver droids had given it to him when he was fussing in her lap.

"How about another round of some bone broth, and then we get some rest." She snapped her fingers at a droid, who scurried off to the back of the hangar quickly. "It looks like that little stinker has the right idea." Peli sat, the smell of oil and metal rolling off her. She grabbed the cup of water she had sipping out of periodically and drank. Then she turned to Sedona, who up until this moment had been zoned out, staring at the shadows cast on the ground.

"You look like you've seen some shit." Sedona's heart nearly stopped at that, but when she met Peli's eyes they glittered with amusement in the dim light of the hangar.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," she said with a laugh and a shrug. Then a droid appeared next to her, carrying more bowls of broth. She accepted it, thanking the droid once again. The liquid warmed her, she didn't consider how cold a desert got a night, and her shorts and men's t-shirt didn't exactly hold much warmth. But the broth helped, and she tried not to let Peli notice her shivers.

"Listen, I wanted to ask you something" Sedona almost choked on her broth. "I heard what you said to the Mandalorian, why do you think he can't trust that other bounty hunter?" Peli's gaze was quizzical, genuine curiosity, not suspicion. It gave Sedona confidence, but not enough to tell her the full truth.

"I guess I just have a really bad feeling, I think there's something off about the deal." She said after swallowing, and Peli was silent for a moment. Searching her gaze before suddenly leaning forward.

"You know I was thinking the exact same thing." She said it like it was the juiciest secret in school. "There was just something off in his eyes." She finished with a nod. Sedona couldn't stop her smile. She felt the beginnings of a friendship blossoming there in the cool evening. She hoped it wouldn't be ripped away from her too soon.

They finished their broth in comfortable silence. Then Peli rose, a mischievous smile on her face.

"Well, I'm going to take this little womprat to the back with me, if you need anything just holler," she said, reaching down to scoop the sleeping bundle from her lap. "You sure you'll be all right in that ship by yourself?"

"I'll be okay," she said with a smile, trying to look convincing "but Peli, if you see anything happening, take the child and run."

Her face turned serious, and she gave a curt nod.

"I'll make sure the droids stay awake, they'll give us a good warning" and with another nod, and a pointed look at the group of droids, she turned to the back of the hangar.

Sedona was alone again, and fear was beginning to crawl up her spine. She had to prepare herself. Somehow, she wasn't going to let that fucker touch baby Grogu.

~o~o~o~

Night came and went, Sedona spent it pacing. Somehow, that sneaky tin can had taken her taser, and her Swiss army knife. Leaving her with only pepper spray from her keychain to defend herself. She held it tightly in 2 hands, having finally sat down when she saw the hangar becoming light again. She heard Peli out in the open area, talking to the droids and the child.

"Here's a ration bar, I'm going to try to finish these repairs before the Mandalorian gets back." Peli had walked into the ship quietly, giving her the foil-wrapped bar, the child gurgling on her hip. The tension was thick between them, both women could sense something wrong. But if Peli wanted to say anything more she didn't, instead turning her attention to the ship, the child held tightly to her. Sedona honestly didn't feel like eating, her head was pounding again. The effort of trying to figure out the plot was scrambling her brain.

She didn't know how exactly to define it, but it felt like the memories of the show were drifting away from her. Scenes she had remembered and re-watched multiple times now were faint memories. It felt like she was losing her mind, literally the only information she needed right now was dissolving like snow in her fingers. So she settled for clutching her pepper spray and hoping the droids gave her a good warning like Peli said.

The droids held up their end well.

It was maybe 3 or 4 hours later, Peli had miraculously just taken Grogu to the back for some food and a nap. When suddenly the droids went absolutely batshit crazy.

Sedona sprung from her spot on the floor, her headache was instantly forgotten as she squeezed herself against an indent in the wall of the ship. Hoping to spring on the hunter. She heard his blaster fire, then it was eerily quiet.

God, I hope they can get out of here.

Sedona tried to keep her mind from straying from the task at hand. She tried to keep her breathing quiet, straining her ears for any sounds.

Those shitty self-defense classes are going to have to work today.

There were footsteps on the ramp. Slow, but heavy, he really was a pretty shitty bounty hunter. She switched the safety off on her pepper spray, trying to judge where he was on the ship by the sound of his footsteps. Then the barrel of a gun crept into her line of sight, and she didn't hesitate.

Springing from her hiding spot she sprayed upwards, toward what she hoped were his eyes. Based on the shouting she was successful. She did her best to ignore the burn in her own eyes as the fumes carried toward her. Taking his surprise as an advantage she attempted to kick him in the balls.

Keyword- attempted.

Sedona did not consider the fact, that he might be wearing goggles. And that he might catch her leg. With a shove, she was sent sprawling onto the floor, with no way to catch herself. Her butt hit the ground hard, knocking the breath out of her. She looked up to meet a gut-churning smile.

What a fucking dick.

"That tasted awful, but I don't think it did what you wanted it to." He said with a smug smirk, he was so incredibly proud of himself. "Look at this! A third bounty, I'm going to be the king of the Guild!"

Well, if Sedona couldn't beat him physically. She was going to try to demolish his ego.

"Fuck you, Toro, this is why your mom doesn't FUCKING love you" the words were filled with rage as they flew out of her mouth, she lunged toward him. Her mind suddenly supplying the correct name when she needed it most. His face immediately fell, twisting into shock and confusion.

"What do you know about my mother?" he sneered, taking a few steps forward to tower over her on the ground. But his intimidating stance did nothing to stop the pure hatred Sedona felt in her heart.

"You look like you watch Big Bang Theory on purpose." It was one of her more creative insults, her new goal was distraction. Try and confuse him as much as she could, so that hopefully Peli could escape with the child. It seemed to work so far.

"I don't know what that means, but I would shut the hell up if I were you" he leaned down and sneered at her. She grit her teeth, the insults flowing fast.

"Your earring looks like shit"

"I said shut up!" He raised his blaster to her head, a position she had just recently became familiar with. She met his eyes, and with as much bitterness as she could muster, she put the nail in her coffin.

"I know how you die, and you die like a bitch."

That was the last thing she could say. Toro reacted very poorly, to say the least.

And for the first time in her life, Sedona was pistol-whipped across the head. Toro stalked away from her body that laid slumped on the ship floor. Continuing on his original journey, much more confused and irritated.

~o~o~o~

The Mandalorian could not shake the sick feeling in his gut as he tied the dewback to the hitch outside of Hangar 3-5. One look at the speeder outside had the mysterious woman's words repeating in his head.

You can't trust him, something bad is going to happen.

It really didn't help that she was right. In fact, he hated that she was right. It was making his decision on what to do with her much harder. He unclipped his blaster, drawing it ahead of him as he made his way down the stairs. The hangar was quiet, aside from the annoying droid that startled him. He slowly made his way through the sand toward his ship.

"Took you long enough Mando" there he was. He stalked forward raising his blaster up into the dark ship. Calican emerged; somehow he got angrier at the sight of the child in his arm, and the scared woman who had been kind to him caught in this mess. "Looks like I'm calling the shots now. Huh, partner?"

Din wanted to roll his eyes and shoot him right then.

"Drop your blaster and raise 'em." This time he couldn't stop the eye roll, instead having to suppress an annoyed sigh as he carelessly flung his blaster to the ground. Twisting his body in a way that let him quickly grab a flash charge. He truly was a pretty shitty bounty hunter, this would be his final mistake. Din was irritated, just waiting for the right moment to strike. Calican handed it to him on a silver platter.

"Cuff him." After that, Din really didn't give a shit about what this guy said. Instead watching as the woman approached him with the bindings. He rolled the flash charge in-between his fingers. Waiting.

"You're smarter than you look" the woman whispered in his ear. Obviously not, if only he had listened to the woman she left in his ship. He wouldn't be in this mess.

The right moment came as Calican raised his blaster higher. The flash brightening the entire hangar for just long enough, Din slipped behind some of the junk lying around. Coming around the side before Calican even knew he had disappeared. It was over quickly, his body tumbled off the ramp, taking the child with it.

"Stay back." He tried to tell the woman, who scrambled quickly over to him as he went to inspect the body. He didn't like the way she fumbled around him, grabbing his cape as he tried to make sure the man was actually dead. Then he heard the babbles of the child. He didn't really register what she was saying to him, just thankful she was calming him down. Inspecting the body he found what he was looking for, the bag of credits was heavy in his hand.

Turning to the woman holding the child, he prepared to pay and leave.

"Be careful with him." She said, the child simply snorting as he was placed back in his arms. She then tried to break some of the tension, bringing up the question that Din knew she would ask. "So I take it you didn't get paid."

Din didn't really feel the need to say anything. Instead pouring the contents of the pouch into her outstretched hands. But he decided to make sure.

"That cover me?" The woman sputtered in response, giving a shocked form of Yes. Din then turned, making his way back to his ship, babbling baby in tow. Until he was stopped.

"Listen, I don't know what you plan on doing with that girl, but she fought to distract him. She tried to make sure I could get away with the baby." Din turned back to the woman, his curiosity peaking. "She told him she knew how he died, and something tells me she did. Sh-she was very nice and helpful. I think you should give her a chance."

Din thought about it for a moment. It seems she was truthful about yet another thing she said to him.

"I would protect the child with my life."

Internally he was glad it hadn't come to that, or so the woman who stared up at him made it seem. He nodded at her, hoping he conveyed his understanding and turned back to enter his darkened ship. He heard her yelling at her droids, but he was more concerned with finding out what state his ship was in. As the ramp closed, he flipped back on the lights. With a heavy sigh, he observed the way her body was crumpled on the floor once again.

There was a large, bloodied scrape on her temple, the area already beginning to bruise. The child was struggling in his arms again, letting out indignant cries as he reached for the girl on the floor. He set him down next to her and reached to grab her under the shoulders and knees. Deciding to move her much gentler than he had the first time. He didn't really know where to put her though; he spun in his ship, her body limp in his arms, the child followed him in circles crying out in frustration.

His eyes landed on his sleeping compartment, figuring that was better than nothing. He quickly set her into it. Taking a moment to remove the cuffs still on her wrists, he internally cringed at the redness. Another thing he should apologize for. He didn't feel comfortable sitting in the hangar for much longer. He scooped up the child, who was trying in vain to climb into the compartment with her.

"Come on we have to get outta here" he grumbled to the child, who was squirming in his arm. He paused to look up at him, angrily babbling at him before resorting to pouting as he was hauled into the cockpit. Din started the ship quickly, not entirely certain where he was going. He only knew he needed to sit down with the woman in the hull, and really figure out what the hell she was talking about.

~o~o~o~

Sedona really didn't want to wake up. In her dream, she was warm and comfortable, and definitely not about to get crazy-murdered by a space villain. Whatever she was laying on was slightly squishier than the floor, but only slightly. It felt like if you were to lay a thin yoga mat onto a wood floor and then tried to take a nap on it. But she kept her eyes closed, trying to stay in her comfortable bubble just a few moments longer. Whoever was shaking her leg did not get the message.

"Please, just let me pretend this isn't happening for a little while longer" she grumbled, not yet opening her eyes. She tried to imagine her bed again, her soft blankets, and a cup of her favorite tea. She could pretend her head didn't hurt, and her body didn't hurt, and her brain didn't hurt. She could pretend she didn't have to open her eyes and face more confusion and struggle.

"Please, I'd like to talk." A soft modulated voice was not what she expected. She slowly opened her eyes, taking in the metal ceiling above her. With a deep breath, she slowly sat up, taking in the sight before her. At some point, after she had been knocked out, she had been placed in Din's sleeping compartment. At the end of the 'bed' (she didn't really want to call it a bed this was awful) stood the Mandalorian himself, and Grogu was vigorously shaking her leg with 2 hands. He babbled excitedly when she sat up, looking up at her and giving a wide smile. "How is your head?"

The new gentle tone was mind-boggling. She could only stare at him, mouth open like a fish. Her head was bad actually, feeling very bad. She just got smacked across the head with a gun, she couldn't imagine how she looked. But the sudden shift in mood was what confused her most; there was a stumbling, awkward, sort of kindness in the way he stood and spoke to her. She searched the visor a bit more, not really sure what she was looking for. A particularly loud coo broke her from her distraction.

"It... could be better I suppose." She licked her lips, mind suddenly wandering in fear. "Where are we? Are we stopped?" The Mandalorian couldn't afford to just stop, so they had to be in hyperspace or he wouldn't be down here. Why was he down here exactly? When did the cuffs come off?

"Yes, we're still on Tatooine, I— I wanted to talk to you," he cleared his throat. "I had some things to say, and to ask." He turned and walked further into the ship, she just now noticed the door was open. Showing the dark Tatooine desert.

Oh!

She was going to be dropped off here. Left to wander the space desert. It was a short run of things, but at least it was horrible while it lasted. She slowly got up, moving around the child to set her feet on the cold ground. The child babbled up at her, raising his arms, and for a brief moment, she considered picking him up. Her mind flirted with the idea of carrying him over to the metal man who leaned against the hatch door. Looking out to the rolling sands together, in peace. But instead, she grabbed her purse and prepared for the worst.

"So I guess this is it?" She paused next to Din, nervously looking up at him as she twirled her purse strap in her hands. His helmet snapped to her, quickly his body followed, straightening out to face her completely. He looked down at her for a long time, his body tense. Her body heated up under his gaze, feeling even more nervous under the scrutiny.

"Do you think I'm leaving you out here?" He tilted his head at her, it was almost condescending. If she was able to re-wind it and analyze the tone of his voice, she would've caught the amusement.

"Well I mean you did leave me handcuffed on the ship for like 3 days, and then brought the Crest out to the desert. Which you would never do if you weren't going to...leave me here" she rambled. Her eyes searched the area around them, not meeting his visor. He was silent once again, just watching her squirm under his gaze. She didn't know how to read him in real life, he was so much taller, and without the fan analysis she could skim through, a lot of his body language was lost.

"I was going to apologize..." he paused, his voice soft but gravely. Her mouth dropped open, slowly looking up to his helmet. "I'm sorry for leaving you cuffed in the ship, but you have to admit, you sounded pretty crazy."

The humor was detectable now, and after a long moment Sedona smiled, and as the words penetrated her brain a little deeper. A chuckle bubbled into her throat, and before she knew it she was laughing. It wasn't that funny honestly, but this was the first display of emotional release her body had experienced in a while, so it kind of went overboard. When she finally calmed down she was breathless, tears gathered in her eyes. Mando just looked at her, head tilted in confusion, and when he folded his arms over his chest, she knew he was irritated.

"I'm sorry... that wasn't that funny, but I think I need to cry and that's as close as I'm going to get." She wiped a tear from her eye, looking back at the still Mandalorian. She quickly dropped her face when she saw the way he was standing, straightened her shoulders. "W-what else did you want from me?" She should know better to think she was off the hook, he could still freeze her in carbonite. He would probably be able to get some sort of profit from her. The thought had her shrinking, she suddenly felt small again.

With a hefty sigh, he readjusted, facing back toward the endless desert. His trend of silence was much for daunting when it wasn't happening on a tv screen. Suddenly something grabbed her ankle. Of course, how could she forget the 3rd passenger? With an incredibly grumpy face and some mighty grump squeals, he reached his arms up to her as hard as he could. She smiled in pity at him, it didn't feel right to pick him up in front of Din. It wasn't her place, and she really didn't want to upset him when he was deciding his fate.

"You can pick him up." His voice was soft again, though he hadn't turned to look at them. "He seems to like you a lot" Her eyes glowed, and with free hands, she bent down and picked up the little one. Finally being able to hold him properly was wonderful, he was a comfortable weight in the crook of her arm. His little dish towel onesie soft on her skin, she smiled at him, and he cooed happily. Looking up she found Din had turned around, looking on with a tilted gaze.

"I want to know... do things work out well for him." It was almost a whisper, true concern laced in his modulated voice. She had to think about it for longer than she wanted. Yes, as far as she knew things went relatively well for the child, as for the man protecting him that was different.

"You have lots of adventures, but he makes it out okay." She gave him a small closed-mouth smile. Thinking further filled her with hope. "D-does... this mean you trust me?" She searched his visor, hoping she met his eyes.

"I..." He cut off, his head shaking. "I don't know for sure what to think, I know you're not a threat, but I can't...comprehend the things you've told me." He inhaled deeply, letting out a long sigh. A gloved hand reached out to stroke the ear of the child. "But I can't shake the feeling that I need you with me, so I suppose you should stick around for a while."

As if he understood Grogu chirped happily up at you. His head turning back and forth between the two of you. Sedona's heart soared. She couldn't stop the smile that crept its way onto her cheeks. She felt like jumping, but she resorted to squeezing the little guy tighter to her chest.

"Thank you." It came out in a whisper, she hoped he could register her gratefulness through his helmet. Grogu gave a little cheer, reaching up one clawed hand to tap her cheek.

"Well...don't get too comfortable, I'll need your help." There was the familiar grumble. She dropped her smile quickly.

"You got it. I used to be a babysitter, I'll earn my keep." She gave a sharp nod, determination overtaking her face. But another tap to her cheek had her cracking a smile once again.

"Can you fight?" That question was a bit trickier to answer. While she had a knife and a taser, there was no formal training to back them.

"I... had to take a few self-defense classes, but I didn't have many options in my city." She answered with a shrug. "But I'm willing to learn." She said, determined. No, she wasn't a gifted fighter yet, but if that's how she would be able to survive here, then she was going to become the best damn fighter this galaxy had seen.

"Good." He said, seemingly satisfied, and gave her a nod before abruptly turning back to the ship. "Then I'll train you when we're able to stop, but for now, we keep going." With that he brushed past her, the hatch closing behind him. She watched as he made his way up the ladder, she heard the hiss of the cockpit doors opening. She looked down at the gremlin in her arms, and his big eyes looked back at her. A smile showing off his nubby teeth on his little face. With a shrug, she walked back over to the sleeping compartment.

Now as she looked over her belongings, 2 bags, and a fucking hotel towel. It didn't seem so bad.

She should really put on a bra now.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Hurts So Bad... (Part 3)

-

The Week That Flashed By (Part 1/3)

Masterlist

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: For the first time, Peter Parker meets someone he has no idea how to save...

Warning: angst(obviously), mentions of suicide, depression, self-harm, drug use, me just exposing myself

A/N- if you only see Flash as a villain at all times then these chapters ain't for you. Not a lot of Peter this chapter but it's integral to the story so don't skip lol

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe he was hoping it'd go away.

Maybe he was wishing for the best.

Maybe he was just disregarding and ignoring you completely.

But for whatever reason, it took Peter a week to finally act. A week.

In the grand scheme of life, a week is incredibly short. However, circumstances can always change the way you perceive things.

When you have an essay due, a week seems to fly by. But when you're waiting for the new episode of your favorite tv to come, a week seems to just drag on.

The normal, busy people don't realize is that when you don't have anything to do, and when you're so far gone into the abyss, a week can genuinely seem like forever.

And your week had been nothing short of endless.

You might've finally been done with the physical low, but the mental low was practically just as bad. You could exert energy without feeling like you'd drop if a feather were to touch your shoulder, but your brain was tired.

On the upside, no one bothered you.

On the downside, no one bothered you.

You hated the silence, but strangely that's what followed you everywhere you went. Deafening silence.

You wanted so much for someone to just talk to you. Talk with you. Even if they were lying. Doesn't matter. You just wanted someone to speak. To have some type of change in your life that forced you out of the mundane, redundant, silent cycle you lived in.

Flash Thomspon was your lab partner.

You'd seen him around. He was hard to miss. Always with his jokes and his livestreams. Forever with a smile on his face. Just like Cecilia.

You remember asking her once why they weren't friends. She'd called him obnoxious.

You wouldn't call him obnoxious though, just... loud.

That Monday when lab partners were chosen, you were completely out of it.

Staring at nothing, not making a sound, setting your head down on the table, obviously not wanting to be bothered by anyone.

So when Flash got to your table, he hadn't bothered you. He walked over, simply looked at you for a bit, and once it was clear you weren't moving any time soon, he started on his notes alone.

Which you respected. That meant he was at the very least a bit sensible, if not just lazy.

The next day wasn't much different. You still weren't up for doing anything and Flash still wasn't up to bothering you.

The day after though, Wednesday, that was the day everything changed.

"Hello?," you said into your phone.

"Hey, is this [Y/N]? That quiet chick in a.p chem?"

You chuckled at the beyond simplistic description of yourself. "Uh, yeah this is she. Who's this?"

"Flash Thompson," he responded. "Coolest guy in the class."

You rolled your eyes. "Mhm, and why are you calling my phone?"

"Well-" you heard a bottle open "-we kinda have a project that's due at the end of the week. And, believe me, as much as I love doing duo projects on my own, you need to do something."

His upfrontness took you aback, but not particularly in a bad way.

And besides, you were getting sick of moping. Your curiosity wanted to see where this was going to go.

"Um, okay. So we'll crack down tomorrow then."

"How about now?" You could practically hear the smirk on his face.

"No," you quickly responded. "You mean come to your house right? Hell no."

"Why not?," he snickered. "Strict parents? Or is the pole really just that far up your ass?"

You rolled your eyes once again. You really didn't have the patience for this. "Okay I'm hanging up-"

"Wait! I'll text you my-" Click.

You stared at the wall for a good minute in complete irritation after that phone call. You had to have lost at least a hundred brain cells during that small conversation. The last thing you needed on your plate right now was some guy giving you shit.

A notification on your phone caught your attention.

3069 Oak Street

"Oh so you text me your address and now I'm just supposed to show up at your door?," you scoffed.

-

In retrospect, ringing that doorbell was probably the smartest dumb thing you ever did.

When you told your parents you were going to a friend's house, they just paused and then smiled. Your parents had no problem at all with you going out. They hadn't even asked questions. Heck they encouraged you to go out. That meant you were trying.

But fuck them. You were trying everyday. Trying not to just take the kitchen knife and slit your wrists after every dinner.

When the door to Flash's house opened you immediately noticed three things.

1) The alleged butler he'd been rumored around school to have was nowhere to be found.

2) This was an extremely nice house. Maybe even nicer than Cecilia's.

3) And Flash's eyes were red.

"Yo!," he greeted with an obnoxious grin. "Wassup?"

"We literally just stopped talking like ten mintues ago dude," you responded as you stepped into the house. "And what's with the shirt?"

This idiot actually had a Spider-Man t-shirt on.

"Excuse me? This is drip in the finest form," he defended, hopping onto his couch. "So anyway, the project or whatever. What're we gonna do for it?"

You sighed. "Well, unless I was actually invisible for all the class periods, it's obvious I wasn't paying much attention the last couple of days."

"Yeah I guess," he chuckled. "What was all that about anyway?," he asked, to which you simply shrugged. He squinted at you, but then rolled his eyes and then picked up the remote for the tv. "Oh well, you're better now, right?"

You winced, but you were glad Flash still wasn't looking your way. "Sure."

"Wanna take off your jacket? You're not outside anymore y'know."

And that's where the problem started.

You didn't know why, but you could look over knowing you were depressed. You'd easily come to terms with it. But it was the small things in normal conversations that hit you harder than anything else. Small little suggestions that you couldn't hide it all from everyone. Hell, you couldn't even take off a damn jacket like everyone else.

"I'm fine," you answered. "So... um, about that project?"

"Yeah," he said leaning forward. "You got the instruction papers or whatever?"

You gave him a look, confused. "I never picked them up. I thought you had the papers."

"I don't fucking pay attention in that boring ass class."

"So what was the purpose of me even coming here if we can't even do anything?," you snapped.

He just shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged again.

Your jaw clenched. Cecilia was right. "Obnoxious dumbass..."

You turned to walk back out of the front door before turning back around. "Hey Flash?"

He looked at you and grunted in acknowledgment.

"Were you just crying before I came in or are you just high?"

"High," he said rather quickly. "Why? Are my eyes red?"

You nodded. "Yeah."

"Fuck," he mumbled. "Want some?"

"Nah I'm good-" But he was already gone down the long hallway of his home. "Flash?"

You stood there, waiting for about five minutes before deciding that he wasn't coming back. Great.

So now you could either go get him, leave, or just continue standing there awkwardly.

And due to your lack of better judgment, you did the most classic horror movie move and walked further into a house that you weren't familiar with to go look for a guy you barely knew. If I die, I die, you thought with a shrug.

Walking into the long hallway the first thing you noticed was the abundance of doors. You weren't a stalker, so you didn't bother to look into any, but you could've swore you saw a room full of spiderman pictures and newspapers through the crack of one of them. Fucking weird.

In an attempt not to succumb to your curiosity, you walked faster down the hall. You stopped in your tracks when you heard sniffles. Whimpering? Whatever noises someone makes when they're crying. Someone was crying, that's for sure. And you were also pretty sure Flash was the only one in the house.

'Walk away [Y/N]. This isn't your business.'

But of course you walked closer, and the sniffles got louder. Until you found yourself opening the door and coming face to face with a crying Flash on the floor in the middle of some gaming room.

"Shit!," he yelled, turning away and attempting to cover up his crying with obnoxiously fake coughing.

"Are you okay?," you asked.

"I'm high," he kept repeating in mumbles, desperately reaching for something. "I'm just high, okay? Fuck."

You watched as he continued to search for whatever he was making it seem like he looking for. You wanted to reach out and maybe say something, anything that would make him feel better. But you knew that probably wouldn't help.

After all, it never helped you.

"I'm just... really fucking high right now, alright?"

He seemed incredibly off, even with the squirrelly, rude way he was being earlier. Like he was just trying too hard at something.

You were at a loss for words. You knew it was wrong, but the only thing you could think of was, hm. Rich boy's actually got some issues.

When he finally turned around, his face was dry and he carried a bong in his hands, lighting it and practically shoving it into his mouth in a weak attempt to cover up his unsteady breathing.

"Thought you left," he said, staring at the floor.

Realizing you'd been standing at the doorframe awkwardly, you moved to sit on the floor, opposite to him. "Well, you kinda offered me some weed and then left, I think."

"I thought I heard you say no though."

"I did..." you gulped. "But..I still stayed though."

And now you sat here with Flash and his bong.

He sat back on the side of the chair, his back leaning against it as he blew out the smoke. "Wanna try?," he offered, holding the small object up to you. He didn't wait for you to respond before setting it up again for you and passing it.

Without a word, you took it and breathed the smoke in. You sucked it up and felt it fill your lungs before leaning back and blowing it out, letting out a small cough afterwards. "Thanks."

"Fuck, you're a pro," Flash chuckled.

You shook your head and shrugged. "No. Common sense just tells you how it works, I guess."

"I feel that."

You hummed in amusement.

And then suddenly it was quiet again.

You fucking hated silence.

Luckily, Flash was a talker. Or so you thought.

At school there wasn't a dull moment if he was there. But now, seeing him in his home, he was quiet as a mouse. Contemplative. Searching.

"Say something," you said, earning a confused look from the boy in front of you.

He squinted. "Say what? I don't even know you."

You rolled yours eyes, shrugging. "Look, whatever was going on before I came in here, it's not my business, man. I only said to fucking speak."

Flash groaned. "About what?"

"I dunno," you answered. "I just don't like the quiet. Say anything you want. Just... talk."

"Um.." he looked up at the ceiling. "I got some new shoes the other day." He pointed at the Jordan's on his feet. "My mother got it shipped in from where she's out on business in Bora Bora."

Something about the way he said it made you sure that she wasn't out "on business".

"My butler is out today cuz it's his niece's birthday. She'd be cute enough, if her nose wasn't so big. It's like the wicked witch of the west."

You scrunched up your nose, imagining a younger version of wicked witch minus the green skin.

"Umm, I dunno uh, chocolate chip cookies are better than sugar cookies?"

You snorted at that. Now he was just thinking of anything.

"And uhh, I'm having spaghetti tonight.. and- well I don't know what you really want dude I'm just kinda.. life is just too boring to always have something to say for every second of every day, [Y/N]!," he suddenly snapped.

"Woah dude, chill." You blew out another round of smoke and handed Flash the bong. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was asking for too much."

He held his hand over his forehead. "Nah you're fine," sighed. "It's just- you ask that cuz I talk alot at school right? Yeah that makes sense I guess. I-I'm sorry," he rushed out before going back to the small contraption.

You'd been snapped at alot in your life. Way too many to count. But from those experiences you gathered a small truth; if someone has snapped at you over the smallest thing, they probably have something else going on. Or most likely a couple of things, piled up and ready to blow.

And you could smell that on Flash from a mile away.

"Flash, what's your real name?"

He paused, lifting his mouth from the bong. "Flash is my real name," he lied before passing it back over to you.

"No it's not," you stated, picking up another bag and the lighter up beside you for the bong, no longer satisfied with the loss of flavor. "I don't pay that much attention but I know for a fact that's not your name."

He rolled his eyes, quickly becoming frustrated with the conversation. "Eugene."

"Nice," you said, contemplating your next move. "So.. what does Eugene feel right now? Not Flash, but Eugene."

He reached over each practically snatched the bong away from you.

"Eugene is feeling annoyed, and frankly aggravated because some girl he barely knows is asking too much of him."

"Hey I'm only asking for what you'll give me," you said, throwing your hands in your defense.

"Well what about you?," he accused. "You're always down in the dumps, staring at the wall, looking all depressed 24/7 so how about you start talking? I mean, are you fucking okay?"

"No," you answered blandly. "Not in the slightest. Your turn. What does Eugene feel, Flash? Is Eugene, quote, 'fucking okay'?"

Flash scoffed. "What're you trying to say, that I'm depressed?"

"I never said that."

"Oh fuck that, you implied it!"

"I didn't-"

"You don't fucking know me, [Y/N]," he spat out, throwing the bong on the floor, watching as you picked it up before the water spilt. "You don't fucking know what I'm going through everyday, so please don't be like everyone else and tell me what I am, okay?!"

Were you being rude prying into his life? Totally.

Had you reached the level of nonchalantness with your and practically anybody else's wellbeing that you really couldn't possibly bring yourself to care? Yes.

And was Flash finally cracking? Completely.

"Flash is fake. And obnoxious. And rude," you deadpanned. "I wanna meet Eugene. See how he's doing."

Flash scoffed, looking for a comeback. You could see the expressions on his face flickering like random. Annoyance. Sadness. Want.

You were no psychologist but anyone with a brain could see what he was going through.

The two of you sat in silence again. But you didn't really mind it this time. You were waiting. Even without actually speaking, Flash was telling you everything about him.

Takes one to know one.

"Eugene's aggravated," he finally said, his eyes becoming watery. "Eugene's fucking angry all the time because people only seem to want Flash." He gave you a bitter smirk before averting his eyes to the ground. But you let him. If that's what was easiest for him, then whatever.

"And people assume things about Eugene all the damn time so eventually he decided -what the hell- he'll just give em what they want. And Eugene's fucking pissed because he knows for a fact that if he were to just disappear, no one would fucking care. His old man would just put him in the ground and everyone would be back to normal before fucking dinner." His breath was heavy and you could see mocha skin begin to turn a dark red. "And most of all he's pissed because he's been able to hide for so long and some girl just strolls in and figures him out."

And now here you were just there with Eugene and his bong.

You'd lost count of how much you'd smoked, and you knew he did too. But it didn't matter.

Nothing did anymore.

Not the pressure from your parents. Not the endless cycle of running through all the motions without actually taking anything in. Not even the stupid project that was worth half your grade that'd brought the two of you together in the first place.

Life was full of nothing just in millions of various forms.

Things dressed up and decorated to seem all fancy and important but in the grand scheme of things were just was worthless as you were.

You looked at Flash's home and all you saw was fancy nothing. Wealthy nothing. And you looked at his clothes and all you could possibly see was nothing.

And looking at Flash, you saw a nothing that was attempting to cover up something.

But looking at Eugene, you saw something.

Sadness. Neglect. Pain.

He was completely naked to you.

"You should probably stop," he mumbled, finally opening his eyes and sitting up a bit. "You're looking at me all weird." He reached for the bong, laying it aside once he grabbed it.

"Is that a bad thing?," you asked.

"No," he responded with a small shrug. "...just scares me is all."

You smirked. The only resemblance of a smile you'd been able to make in a long while. "And how do I, of all people, scare you, Eugene?"

You could see his jaw clench. Could see him debating with himself. Even relaxed from the weed, his eyes still darted around the room, and he was shaking his head the tiniest bit. Finally he looked back at you.

"Because -fucking somehow.. you see me-" a tear rolled down his face. "You actually see me. Not Flash... You see Eugene."

His mother's words rang through his ears like a cautionary tale. Real men don't cry. Don't be weak, like your father...

But he wanted to be. So badly he wanted, just for one moment, to be weak and to be able to fall into someone's arms and not act like he was always okay on his own. To not act like he didn't desperately yearn for someone's compassion. Someone's trust.

Flash was fun. Flash was the cool, funny side character in everyone's story. Flash was the picture perfect of everything he wanted to be.

"-And Eugene's a mess," he let out in a small, quiet sob, his expression not moving, though the tears streamed down his face. "I'm just high... that's why I'm saying all this crap. I'm just being dumb and high. Forget all this. I never said anything okay?"

You wouldn't see him break. Not some girl he just met...

Regardless of how he already felt about you.

He slowly looked back up at your face, fully expecting to see pity or disgust. Instead, your face remained neutral like his, and you were crying too.

"I don't think you're a mess Eugene." You sat up straighter, moved a little closer. "Just hurt."

He gave a bitter chuckle. "Isn't basically everybody?"

You shook your head slightly. "No...at least I don't think so. Everyone goes through something- and then there are those people that, in some sick way, want to be hurting.. but with people like us.." You found yourself grabbing his hand, not even thinking for what reason. You just did. "With us.. it's real. And not some temporary problem," you whispered. "It won't ever stop."

Eugene looked back at you again and it was over for him. He felt small. He felt naked. He felt fucking pure.

And then it happened.

You went in for a hug and he went in for a kiss.

But he made it first... and you didn't push him away.

Feeling his lips on yours.. wasn't bad. It surprised you at first, but ultimately it was pleasant.

He sighed against your lips and you could taste the smoke in between the two of you. You hadn't had much experience with guys before. Practically nonexistent if you were being honest, but that didn't matter. Eugene pressed his kiss firmer on yours, and you began to reciprocate his movements.

He held the side of your head lightly as he pulled away, his face growing further apart from yours the slightest bit. He rubbed his nose against yours. You both closing your eyes.

"Stay here with me," he pleaded softly, his breathing slightly erratic. "I-i won't try anything, I swear. I just..." He sniffed and used his shoulder to wipe away at some of the tears on his cheek. "You really see me. A-and I see you, y'know? And we're just-"

You nodded, taking your hand to run through his hair. "Okay," you whispered. "I'll stay."

A small smile started to break through his tears. "Thank you," he mumbled against your cheek before planting a soft kiss onto it.

Your mind was blank. You couldn't think of more than one thing at a time. But you knew one thing; you wanted to be there. That much you were sure of. You still weren't happy. You weren't safe. Just content with this idea of change.

For once, you weren't overly sure of what you were doing. It wasn't routine.

For once, you felt like something was different.

----------Back on the other side of town-----------

You weren't home.

Peter had finished his patrol, swung to your apartment, and you were nowhere to be found.

"No. N-no please don't do this," he pleaded to himself. "Be in the bathroom. Please just be somewhere. Come on, get in here."

He'd already looked through every window available and he could only hope you were in some inside room. Your bed was completely untouched.

"I should've reached out to you. Fuck! I should've done something. Just please be alive..."

He waited anxiously to see if you'd show, even sending a drone to Cecilia's address to see if you were there in the meantime. "I-I'm so sorry I- just please! Be at a friend's house! Something!"

He didn't even realize how much he was shaking. How much your life was in his hands. If you were dead, he'd never forgive himself.

"She's not at the Gulliver residence, Peter. Are there any other places you'd like for me to check?," E.D.I.T.H asked.

"She's somewhere!," he yelled out. "It's one in the morning on a school night. Find her! Please...."

He looked back toward the window. After while he didn't even know how much time had passed. He was just staring. Waiting for you to walk through that door. And when you never came he could only hope that you'd be at school.

"I'll help you," he whimpered. "Just..please. Please just stay alive long enough for me to try."

---------------------------------------

Lmao don't worry y/n won't end up with Flash and this certainly won't end up being a love triangle

Taglist - @eridanuswave, @imahardcase, @jules-and-gemss, @yetchann, @captainamericasdaughter, @starlight-starks, @everydaymj, @rubberducky-jrr, @chiaramrvl, @dreamofaprilsblog, @hello--zuko-here, @spidey-mads, @cuddlefishpeter

[skzsoft]

raising our voices

stray kids 9th member au,, m.list

conflict between two members has been going on ever since kirei joined the boys. three weeks go by and kirei decides she has had enough of it, but perhaps getting involved wasn’t the best decision.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

every family fights. i knew that, however i didn't expect it to happen so soon in stray kids. when i first met the rest of the boys, they all seemed to get along perfectly. they all seemed incredibly close during that first practice we had together. but it had been nearly three weeks since then and i had quickly caught on to the conflict happening between jisung and hyunjin. i also discovered, from jisung, that there was no specific reason for their feud; they apparently just didn't get along.

when i first noticed the snappy comments between them, all i wanted to do was get them to stop. i felt this urge to try and resolve their conflict, but seungmin discouraged me from doing so, saying that it was probably best that i didn't get involved. i understood at first, whatever their issue was it wasn't any of my business. however, as these three weeks went by i had to admit that the whole feud was starting to become more and more of my business, and everyone else's too.

the constant nagging between the two was tiring and always brought the mood down whenever the group was practicing, we could never catch a break. even if it was their issue, it was affecting the whole group. i can always see it on the members' faces, the look of irritation or fatigue. so it became evident to me pretty quickly that their business was also my business, it was the whole group's business.

not all of us happened to live together just yet, so far there was only a few members living in a dorm together. the company had told us that they would let us all move in once we started shooting the reality show, so for now i was living alone in my parents house.

my parents are currently living in my hometown, gold coast, back in australia. but they own a house here in seoul, which i've been living in by myself for the last few months. this meant i could escape the arguing when i was home, but this still has never stopped the constant urge to intervene anytime hyunjin and jisung fight.

today happened to be a bad day, i arrived to practice late because my bus from school got delayed. i also left my umbrella at home this morning, not aware that it was meant to rain, and got soaked on my way back from school. and the cherry on top was that i forgot to put a change of clothes in my locker at jyp, meaning i had arrived in a drenched school uniform with nothing to change into. minho has very kindly let me borrow his spare clothes, which consisted of merely grey sweatpants and a black tshirt.

i was not in a good mood to say the least, and i was certainly not in the mood to hear any arguing between hyunjin and jisung.

the practice started off normally, with a quick warm up and some stretches like we usually did. we also started learning some choreography for warrior's descendant, the song that we'd perform at the upcoming showcase. it was just about one month away so we has time to practice and perfect the dance.

there was one particular move that jisung seemed to have trouble getting the hang of, which didn't really matter for now as we had a lot of time to practice before the showcase. hyunjin, however wasn't letting him off the hook.

"jesus jisung you can't even do this simple move, how the hell are we going to able to debut if you keep making small mistakes?" hyunjin remarked, frustrating jisung who didn't hesitate to snap back.

"at least i can rap and sing properly, shame you're only good at dancing"

usually i was patient with the two of them, but my mood today definitely did not have the patience to tolerate their pointless arguing. usually i'd try to think before i say anything or try not to raise my voice, however i wasn't in the right head space to do this today.

"oh my god can the both of you stop arguing for once? it's tiring and it's bothering everyone here,  grow up guys." i snapped mindlessly, not realizing an argument would break out afterwards.

"yah, it's none of your business. so stop trying to get involved in something that doesn't regard you. if it bothers you so much you can go back to the female trainees." he spat, looking directly into my eyes with a vicious stare. it was probably the first time i had ever made actual eye contact with him too. i was to angry to even care about what he had said about me, all i wanted was the feud to stop.

"hey hyunjin don't say things like that" minho butted in. hyunjin didn't pay much attention to him however.

"look leave kirei alone she hasn't done anything, all she wants is peace, but your too much of an ass to make any effort at all" jisung said, defending me. i appreciated his defence, but i also wanted to speak for myself.

"you're making it everyone's business by constantly starting shit!" at this point i was just mad, mad that he wasn't listening, mad that he was being selfish and disregarding how everyone was feeling.

over the last three weeks, i hadn't had any trouble getting to know the others guys. i was able to get really close to them, even changbin who had been awkward for the first week — turns out he was just overwhelmed by my addition do stray kids, but also constantly reassured me that he did want me in the group. the only person that i had made no progress with whatsoever was hyunjin. even when i tried starting up conversations during or after practice, he'd always give me short responses and just walk away. there was simply just zero effort being made, and it was becoming extremely frustrating honestly. this probably added to the reason i was getting riled up.

"okay guys! cut it out! seriously!" it was bang chan's loud voice resonating through the whole practice room that made the three of us silent. we all stared at him, not knowing what to say at all.

"i'm honestly really disappointed in how unprofessional the three of you are being right now. kirei, you're right, the bickering is incredibly tiring for the team, but raising our voices like this only makes it worse. i'm expecting more from you three in the future. so please, just cool off for the rest of the practice and figure this out peacefully in your own time." bang chan finished, clearly not impressed in how the three of us had acted today.

in a way, i was frustrated that my efforts were being discredited. but i ultimately understood chan, he was only doing his job as leader. perhaps i had acted irrationally, we all would have been better off talking about everything privately.

the rest of the practice went by without any more snarky comments. i think the two boys got the message, loud and clear. when practice finally came to an end, i noticed chan giving the three of us a look, a look that seemed to be encouraging the three of us to talk. so, i said goodbye to the other guys as they packed up their stuff and left; i once again thanked minho for the clothes.

soon the practice room was left with only myself, jisung and hyunjin. not wanting to waste anytime, i immediately began to question hyunjin.

"look hyunjin, i have absolutely no problems with you. i want to be friends, so if i did anything to you can you please talk this out with me? for the sake of the team." i questioned, he seemed to have let his guard down quite a bit. he sat down cross legged on the floor, jisung and i quickly followed.

"i'm sorry i've been such an asshole to you for the last three weeks, you really don't deserve it i'm just an idiot." he said running his hands through his hair, visibly annoyed at himself. he looked up at me, and i gave him a look encouraging him to continue.

"i guess, when i first met you during that monthly evaluation i had been crushing on you for a few weeks and i was just shy and awkward. i got over it pretty quickly but when chan mentioned you were joining us, i don't know, i just felt weird. and when you finally came, i just felt even more awkward because i didn't know how to react this whole 9 boys - 1 girl concept. either way, it's no excuse to the way i've treated you, especially today. so i just want to say sorry, i really am." what chan had said seemed to have really made hyunjin think, because he had poured his entire heart out in a matter of minutes.

i felt grateful that he had finally let his guard down and told me what was going on. i had to admit i didn't expect him to have crushed on me, but it was in the past, nearly two years ago, it didn't matter anymore. on the other hand, i could sense how jisung  felt in that moment, probably not expecting hyunjin to open up like had.

"i understand hyunjin, and thank you for saying all of that. i accept your apology. i just hope that we can be on good terms and get close now" i stated, to which hyunjin nodded and gave me a warm smile. in three weeks he had never smiled at me like that, it made me happy.

"well, i guess i'm done here then" i said, getting up from the floor and grabbing my things. i looked at jisung, who's was begging with his eyes for me not to go. but i knew that it was better if i left them, it was their issue not mine and they needed to figure this out for themselves.

"please try to talk things out, i don't care if you guys aren't best buddies afterwards. just at least try to resolve it or agree to be professional. i'll see you tomorrow boys." i finished before walking out of the practice room. i felt satisfied with how the day had wrapped up, sure it had it's ups and downs but i learned a lot.

we were a family, and no family is perfect. we argue, we fight. but in the end family is family, the love will always be there.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

word count :: 1.7k words.

stream go live. thank you for listening to my TED talk.

[girlwithshipsshitshow]

Part 12

(Around Three am the lab came in to check take Usagi's blood and nurse Rose came in to switch out his fluid and give him more antibiotics, surprisingly Usagi stayed asleep the whole time, but Misaki woke up).

Misaki: (Groggily) Rose, I can't believe they have you working all these hours.

Rose: Yeah (She stood against the wall near the doorway). Well the other Nurse was supposed to be working but she's been fired, a new nurse will be taking over later today and then I have my date with Eri. (She smiled, even in the dark Misaki could tell she was blushing). Do you have any recommendations?

Misaki: Usagi and I always go to IMI.

Rose: Isn't that expensive?

Misaki: It is when Usagi rents out the entire balcony. (Chuckles).

Rose: Well Thanks, I'll look into it.

Misaki: Yeah, good luck.

Rose: (Exits)

Misaki: (Closes eyes and tries to go back to sleep).

Aikawa: Don't just burst in there they might still be asleep.

Takahiro: No, They said we could come back at six am and it's six am, I'm going in (Slams door open)

Misaki: (Shoots up) Takahiro, What the fuck are you doing?

Takahiro: They said we could be back at six am.

Misaki: Do you have to be so loud? (Glaces at Usagi who is still fast asleep). I need to take a shower. (gets up, Grabs kaki shorts, a black hoodie, and boxers out of his backpack and walks into the bathroom).

Takahiro: God, what's his problem? (Walks over to be and starts fixing it back into a sofa.)

Aikawa: (Leans against wall, crossing arms) You burst in here at six am, they were sound asleep, Miskai has a test today, and who knows how late they were up).

Takahiro: Ew, why were they up late? They can't have sex.

Aikawa: (Angry face) Takahiro, they can't have sex, and they were up late because Misaki was probably studying and doctors and nurses were in and out all night. You have to get on board with their relships at some point or else you're going to lose them both.

Takahiro: It's just (Sigha and sits on sofa) He's my baby brother, my little baby brother, I never thought of him dating, especially dating my best friend. It's just-

Aikawa: (Sits beside Takahiro) I know it's strange, but have you seen how they look at each other? (Smiles) They're in love, and incredibly happy.

Takahiro: I know, I've never seen either one of them so happy, ever. (Smiles) I need to be okay with this.

Aikawa: Yeah, you do, they aren't going to break up ever, and they've been through a lot, it's been hard for them.

Takahiro: I didn't know that.

Aikawa: Yeah, we'll they were always scared to tell you.

Takahiro: How long have you known?

Aikawa: Eh, I kinda just figured it out. They aren't that good at hiding it.

Misaki: (Walking out of the bathroom rubbing a towel on his head). Maybe if you didn't have a key.

Aikawa: There are locks on other doors for a reason, and i'm not only talking about at your house.

Misaki: Whatever. (Walks over to chair beside Usagi, who's starting to stir).

Usagi: (Eyes slowly open, he smiles at Misaki and reaches out for him). Good Morning Misaki.

Misaki:(Grabs hand) Hey Baby.

Usagi: Did you sleep well?

Misaki: (Shrugs) I slept okay, you were out all night, they came in here around three am to do labs and stuff.

Usagi: (Chuckles) I was tired

Misaki: Good, you need your rest.

Usagi: What time is your test?

Misaki: It's at ten, but the doctor is going to come in here around eight to talk to you, and I'll leave after that.

Usagi: (Nods) Okay. (Looks over at sofa). Hey guys

Takahiro, Aikawa: Hello.

Usagi: When did they get here?

Misaki: Right at six.

Usagi: Did they wake you?

Miskai: (Sheepish look)

Usagi: (Runs thumb over back of hand) I'm sorry.

Misaki: (Shrugs) It's okay, I didn't sleep well anyway. (Sighs and rolls shoulders back)

Usagi: Hey, what's wrong

Misaki: Just the timing of all this sucks.

Usagi: I know.

Misaki: And I'm kinda pissed at you, you could've died, you're lucky you're appendix didn't actually burst.

Usagi: I know.

(There's a knock at the door and Dr. Takahashi walks in)

Dr. Takahashi: Good Morning everyone. (He walks over to the sink, washes his hands and puts on a pair of gloves). Akihiko, I'm going to look at your incision. (He walks over to Usagi and gently checks his incision). Okay, looks to be healing up nicely, your vitals look good and we can take you off the antibiotics, and have you had any pain?

Usagi: Um, no not at all.

Dr. Takahashi: Okay, perfect. I think we can get you out of here today, but it might be later this evening, I assume your fiance will be able to take care of you?

Misaki: Uh, yeah of course. I mean I have a test today at ten, I'm off tomorrow, I have another test Thursday, and next week I don't have any classes, and next saturday I graduate.

Usagi: Oh, speaking of, I'm supposed to speak at his graduation next saturday, is that okay?

Dr. Takahashi: Yes, that should be fine, No sexual activities for two weeks, stick to your regular diet, if you don't have anymore questions we can work on getting you out of here.

Usagi: Uh, wait, no sexual activities for two weeks?

Misaki: (Scoffs) Usagi, It'll be okay.

Usagi: Yeah but-

Misaki: Babe, I don't want you to die, so you can wait two weeks.

Usagi: (Sighs) Yeah, Fine. Oh what about bathing?

Dr. Takahashi: You can do all that normally, Oh and no heavy lifting.

Usagi: So what am I supposed to do?

Aikawa: You can do your work.

Usagi: Please, I'm at least four months ahead.

Aikawa: Damn I forgot about that.

Dr. Takahashi: You can drive tomorrow and walk some.

Usagi: Fine.

Misaki: (Glaces At Phone) Shit, it's Nine-Fifteen, i'm going to be late. Usagi, I'm taking your car.

Usagi: That's fine, my keys-

Misaki: Are in the table, I know I saw them yesterday. (Stands up, still holding on to Usagi's hand).

Usagi: Good luck on your Test. (Grins, swings his and Misaki's arm).

Misaki: Thank you. (Tries to let go of Usagi's hand) Usagiii, I have to go, I can't be late.

Usagi: (Releases Misaki's hand), Okay go.

Misaki: (Walks over to the table, grabs Usagi's keys, leans down to kiss Usagi). I love you, I'll see you later.

Usagi: I love you too. (Walks out of Usagi's room).

Dr. Takahashi: Okay, I'm going to start working on your discharge papers, anything else you need to ask?

Usagi: I think I'm okay.

Dr. Takahashi: Alright. (Exits).

Rose: (Walks in grinning at Aikawa). Eri, good morning.

Aikawa: Oh, Rose hey. (Blushes)

Rose: How are you?

Aikawa: I'm good, Akihiko gets to go home today.

Rose: I heard, Congrats.

Usagi: Thank you.

Rose: Where's Misaki?

Usagi: School, he had a test.

Rose: And Isaka?

Aikawa: He had to take care of some stuff at work.

Rose: Okay, well I was Just checking in. Um Eri, I have a short break, want to go get a snack?

Aikawa: (Blushes) Uh, sure. (Stands up grinning at Rose, following her out of the room).

Takahiro:(Clears throat). Usagi-San, I think I need to apologize.

Usagi: For what?

Takahiro: How I've been acting, not supporting your relationship with Misaki.

Usagi: We'll Thanks, but I'm not the one you need to apologize to.

Takahiro: What do you mean, aren't you upset. (Stands up, walks over by Usagi's bed lingering around him).

Usagi: No, not really, Misaki has been hiding this from you for almost five years, and he's been really scared to tell you.

Takahiro: Aikawa said it's been hard for you guys. Or maybe Misaki? I know how hard it can be for him to express his feelings and open up, di- did his fear of telling me and losing you maybe have something to do with it?

Usagi: Look, I've never ever doubted Misaki's feelings for me, not once. Sometimes I felt insecure and maybe wished he would've told me he loved me more, but I always knew he did. We've told you, and now He's extremely open and more affectionate, it maybe started before we told you, but-

Takahiro: So, it's kinda my fault he wasn't always affectionate?

Usagi: Look, he was terrified of having to give up what we had, and so was I, sometimes I still am, we still have to come out to the world, I want to do that soon, and that scares me, I haven't told him that. But we were both scared of ruining the relationship with you.

Takahiro: You were?

Usagi: Yes, Of course.

Takahiro: (Sits down) Did you think I would make you break up?

Usagi: We didn't know what was going to happen, We just know, we never want to let each other go, I really Really love Misaki, He's the love the of my life, my soulmate, my best friend, He's my person Takahiro.

Takahiro: (Grins) I guess I didn't completely understand how you guys felt about each other.

Usagi: Well, now you do.

Takahiro: He's just my baby brother, I want to protect him, I guess he doesn't need me anymore.

Usagi: Come on he'll always need you.

Takahiro: Yeah, but now he has you, you've been protecting him for the past four years.

Usagi: Almost five, not that it matters but after he next saturday is our anniversary.

Takahiro: Wait, his graduation day?

Usagi: Yeah.

Takahiro: (Smiles) That's really sweet.

Usagi: (Smirks) I, can't believe we've been together five years, and the two of us are getting married, I'm so happy.

Takahiro: I've known you a long time and I don't think i've ever seen you this generally happy... Wait (scoffs, Shocked look) i'm and idot. This, aurora of happiness started when you met Misaki. How didn't I figure it out?

Usagi: (Shrugs) I have no idea.

Takahiro: And Misaki changed a lot when he met you.

Usagi: (Nods)

Takahiro: Look, just keep him happy.

Usagi: I will, I'm not going to hurt him, I love him so much.

Takahiro: Good. Now let's talk kids.

Usagi: ugh

(Rose and Aikawa are sitting in the vending room finishing up their snack).

Rose: I think they should be done now

Aikawa: Eh, what are you talking about?

Rose: (Takes last sip of her soda, tossing the can in the trash behind her). Takahiro and Akihiko.

Aikawa: We came up here so they could talk?

Rose: We'll mostly so I could hang out with you, But I figured they should talk.

Aikawa: I'm sure they did talk. And I'm happy to be up here with you.

Rose: (Smiles, reaches out for Aikawa's hand)

Aikawa: (Bluses) This is nice, um can we still go on a date tonight?

Rose: Yeah, of course and it actually looks like I might get off early.

Aikawa: Oh, awesome!

Rose: (laughs) I- I'll let you know, but we should head back down. (Stands)

Aikawa: Yeah. (Stands up)

Rose: (Takes Aikawa's hand and they head back down to Usagi's room).

Misaki: (Drums fingers on the steering wheel of Usagi's car, while wating for him to pick up, he just got his grade back for his German exam and he passed with flying colors, he felt really good about his German exam and the last test he had was psychology).

Usagi: Misaki? Are you okay?

Misaki: Great acctally. I got a 95 on my German exam, I feel extremely confident about my Psychology exam on Thursday!

Usagi: Wow Misaki! I'm so proud of you!

Misaki: (Chuckles) Thanks Usagi, I'm on my way back now do you need anything?

Usagi: Just you.

Misaki: (Blushes) Shut up!

Usagi: I can tell you're blushing.

Misaki: (Laughs) You know me so well Usagi.

Usagi: Yes I do, and I love you.

Misaki: I love you too, I'll see you soon.

Usagi: Can't wait.