#I NEED PTA PAPYRUS

[susartwork]

What a touching speech...

Happy Let Papyrus Say Fuck day! The event is hosted by @insanelyadd | @letpapyrussayfuckofficial (And this design I drew for Paps is a mix of all their Ambassador Papyrus designs!)

[rogueofsoup]

6 people will kill for him? (That he knows of)

5 for sport?

Emmet and sneasler confirmed. Will Sans kill for sport? Is papyrus on that list? Elsa???

1. Emmet

2. Sneasler

3. Tellid (younger snibling)

4. Anyde (younger sibling)

5. Sans

6. Papyrus (won't hunt you for sport)

-

This is all mainly his personal opinions of them after spending so much time with them and having little snippets of memories of events that didn't happen.

[the1920sisntaphasemom]

The girls are fightin again!

Say hello ta the Fell squad. Yes they are all wearin heels, I choose ta believe if ya are a fell ya have a height complex I don’ make the rules, I just enforce em.

Sans UF-Prof

After the barrier broke this guy decided to also use his degree an became a professor in Computer Aided Drafting at the local community college. Thanks to the kid he’s mellowed out a lot. And with the help of his “therapist” he’s working on his outbursts and developing better coping mechanisms for his anxiety.

When he got his job as a professor Doc got him a tie. After he asked him to tie it for him for a week Doc said he needs to figure it out on his own. And he never did. He still wears it though.

Most UF monsters that came to the surface cast aside their collars as it was a reminder of their time underground. Prof wasn’t one of these monsters an instead traded it out for a chocker as to not freak out his students. It’s more of a coping item at this point.

Prof still suffers from nightmares an since becoming a teacher he’s used the excuse of grading assignments to not go to bed. It’s developed into him having insomnia and the only way he gets sleep is by overworking himself into exhaustion.

He’s actually one of the few Sanses that doesn’t live with his bro anymore. They were told that it’s best that they develop on the surface apart because of their unhealthy codependent relationship.

Even so, him an Doc always make time once a week to meet up over coffee and chat about life. Prof his super proud of Docs growth an is okay with the development.

Papyrus UF-Doc

Since not needing to be so Great and Terrible, and finding he needed to give up some of his old habits from the underground. Doc had a difficult time with the shift and found himself not knowing what to do with himself. Especially since he and Prof no longer were together. He found himself in need of work. Until he saw an opportunity to volunteer with the healing of monsters. He found that he enjoyed the hustle and business of medicine so he began to study. After getting his doctorate, he opened the first monster inclusive clinic.

Doc actually is the guardian of Frisk, and it was Toriel who helped him with the volunteer work.

He recently got an assistant at the clinic, and though she’s a bit snippy, she gets the work done right. Plus, she’s great with Frisk.

Doc knows about a lot of Prof’s issues and wants to help. But since the brothers split he’s been holding himself back from falling back into their codependent relationship.

He is seeing an actual therapist and it’s helped him with his anger issues.

When the worlds collided, Frisk ended up with Gramps as a teacher so now Doc an Gramps have a begrudged relationship.

Doc is head of the PTA and he rules it with an iron fist. To be fair though, his charm and the amount of single mothers in the organization doesn’t help.

[mymarifae]

Ok but here's a fun thing: which characters from ut/dt are most like characters from proseka? Papyrus and Tsukasa are the same to me

omg this is like the most fun question i have ever been asked. i love you

l/n

honami: i think honami and noelle are the same person basically. they are both so giving and so sweet and just... have similar speech habits and mannerisms tbh!?! and they both struggle with standing up for themselves, and they have a habit of just going along with something they don't want to do at all.

vbs

kohane: also noelle! i think kohane and honami's issues come together to like... perfectly encompass what noelle is going through. i will say noelle isn't nearly as shy as kohane is. which is why i ultimately think she's more like honami

toya: kris......... i think this one's self-explanatory. they both even have Issues with pianos what the hell

akito: i've thought about it. and my final statement is that susie is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY more like akito than like. berdly, as an ask i got a while back suggested to me (though the similarities are still there). just like susie, akito has an INSANE amount of emotional intelligence for his age and he's freakin'!!!!! attentive. he Notices the smallest of things (ie: end of the current event in the english version of the game - when an is struggling with her feelings of sudden jealousy over kohane's singing abilities and the fear of being inadequate [i assume that's where this is about to go, anyway] akito notices!! like immediately!). neither of them mince words - taking more of a 'tough love' approach. you can SEE and FEEL how much they both love their friends, even if they both rely a little too much on their 'Tough Guy' personas.

wxs

tsukasa: you're right he and papyrus are literally the same person. and i love them both so much. they'd be best friends

emu: ...........temmie

rui: sans. bye.

nene: kris again. they are like the ultimate combination of nene and toya. autism machine

n25

kanade: if i say kris again will you be mad at me

mafuyu: if i say kris again will y

ena: mad mew mew actually. speaks for itself. probably

mmj

airi: also mad mew mew. my proof: trans girls, pink, catgirls, and both of them have some serious issues

shizuku: catty is like. louder. than shizuku so we're pushing it but i'm going to say catty anyway

vocaloids

luka: n25-luka reminds me of seam... like. a little mischievous, wise, there if you need them but won't over-involve themselves... etc.

len: VBS-len and lancer are like the same person to me and i can't explain. either you get it or you don't unfortunately

ralsei reminds me of the role all the vocaloids take in project sekai. y'know the whole like, being a reflection of a person's true feelings, the feelings they must confront if they're going to thrive and be happy. honestly i think there's a good chance that fulfilling the prophecy is secondary in ralsei's mind and he's more focused on trying to help namely kris and susie past their issues so they can face the rest of their lives. (and he's neglecting his own personal development because he believes he exists only for this purpose...) but there isn't any specific vocaloid in any of the sekais that he reminds me most of

i'm not sure if i'd say wxs-kaito and vbs-meiko are super similar to toriel, but they are both Mom so. idk. the three of them can be PTA moms together or something

[o-wyrmlight]

Friendly reminder that Papyrus is capable of sarcasm.

Get reck'd, Linda.

Also how tf do you draw humans

[anneimaginesundertale]

" everyone else always sees this ridiculously happy, over excited, naive little baby who needs protecting. but... never you. you've always seen the real me. i guess that's what i love the most about you. " With Blue. This just screams him XD

It does just scream Blue, and Papyrus. I’m changing the quote a little bit, but the overall feeling is the same. I think…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue came home in a terrible mood. He stomped into the house and made a lot of racket putting away his jacket and shoes in the hall closet.

“Bad day, love?” you asked as he stomped his way into the living room.

He sat down the couch next to you and leaned against you. “I’m tired of not being respected,” he said sourly.

You wrapped an arm around him and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his skull. “I’m sorry,” you said. “Was it the kids?”

“No. It was the fucking PTA.” He sighed. “Some Karen came in to talk to the teachers after school about some bake sale or something. I said I’d make cupcakes and she looked at me like I was five. She said something like, ‘Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to. You’re just here to play with the kiddos. You don’t need to take any responsibility.’”

You raised your eyebrows. “What did you say?”

“I said that I’m a trained professional who works with the kids and I’m a part of the school staff, so I want to help out like any other staff member. Toriel said something about how instructional assistants are the backbone of the school and of course I’m just as important as the teachers, but I could just feel Karen judging me.”

You could feel him frown against your shoulder. “This always happens,” he said. “Everybody always sees me as this happy, overexcited, naive little baby man who just smiles all the time and doesn’t understand anything! I love my job, but I hate people thinking that all I do is play with the kids or color all day. I hate people thinking I’m just a big baby.”

You rubbed circles on his shoulder with your hand. “I don’t think you’re a baby,” you said.

“I know…” He sighed. “That’s one reason I love you. You’ve always seen the real me.”

[bigoltrashpile]

Alex here! I hope I'm not too late since my timezone is different (oof- I live in the philippines btw-) Anyways! Where's the PTA mafia bois and their kids?-

I can’t believe I’ve never gotten an ask about PTA skeletons before omg

Mafiatale Sans: He’s a lot like what you think of when you hear “PTA Sans.”  He goes to most of the meetings, mostly just to sass the Karens, defends his kid when they need it, etc.  He’s the one who usually is the voice of reason at most of the meetings.  “susan, none o’ the kids are gonna want a veggie pizza party, just order normal pizza for star’s sake.”

Mafiatale Papyrus: He’s actually a really good PTA parent!  He helps out with fundraisers and doesn’t let random white moms be racist against monsters, or even other humans.  He’s the one that usually vouches for the arts programs, finding studies about how beneficial they are, and suggesting ways to get more funds.

Mafiaswap Sans (Lucky): He’s a very active member of the PTA, mostly just so he can monitor racism in the school.  He refuses to let any of those monster hating parents impose any restrictions or put a bias into the system.  If they try, well, he has his ways of making them change...

Mafiaswap Papyrus (Slim): He rarely goes to meetings, but still does his best to be an active member.  After all, he doesn’t want to listen to a bunch of grown adults argue over whether twenty minute or thirty minute recess is best.  He’ll still support the school and his kid, but he isn’t interested in any of the stupid stuff.

Mafiafell Sans (Butch): He’s the stereotypical proud parent.  Always carries a picture or two or ten in his pocket, bragging about how good his kid’s grades are, and how well they’re doing in the school play.  He’s always quick to sass the others, especially if they say something bad about his kid being a “filthy hybrid.”

Mafiafell Papyrus (Noir): He DESPISES the people in the PTA.  That’s why he goes, to keep them in check.  He’s very sassy, straight up telling Martha that her store bought cookies are disgusting, and shouldn’t even be allowed in the school bake sale.  His favorite thing is to absolutely crush the idiotic ideas of the other PTA parents, and make them realize just how dumb they’re being.

Mafiaswapfell Sans (Scar): Even though he often attends the meetings, he actually doesn’t talk in them very often.  He mostly sits, silently, and watches.  If anyone says something REALLY dumb, he’s quick to speak up, but otherwise, he’s more of a spectator.  He’s mostly there to make sure his kid gets a good education, what else is needed?  Although he is VERY passive aggressive at times.  “WOW, WHO MADE THESE LEMON BARS?  I JUST LOVE HOW YOU MADE IT MOSTLY CRUST AND NO FILLING, IT’S SO....UNIQUE.”

Mafiaswapfell Papyrus (Hound): Like his brother, he’s pretty quiet during meetings, if he attends.  More because he’s too nervous to speak up.  Of course, if someone tries to install some racist policy, he won’t hesitate to stop them, but for now, his resting bitch face does most of the work.  Once you get close to him, he’s always bragging about his kid, though!

[themsource]

Not The Baby Bones

Sans X Frisk

Rating: T

Word Count: 1390

Said you needed more Frans? @shayromi Here’s an attempt at funny ^^; based off my favorite Addams family scene from the series and your Frans family! (sorry if it’s not accurate) XD

It was a typical day in the skeleton house; Sans and Frisk both lazing together on the couch with their gathered friends and family watching the latest episode of an anime Alphys had discovered, their son Arno tucked into Undyne’s lap as they both cheered and clapped together at the way the protagonist summoned her sword.

It was all in anticipation for their daughter Elys’s arrival from school, the plan to go to the water park that afternoon in celebration of her actually having studied for her math test last week. The pair of parents didn’t expect when she came home to have a very interesting story to tell. 

They were both surprised to hear it was about one of the parent teacher members; Linda. 

Apparently it was irresponsible of them to send their daughter to school with bottled ketchup in her lunch, the condiment far too sweet and full of unhealthy calories that it called their parenting methods into question. 

Not only did she not stop there but Linda had gone on to say it was insulting they were teaching Elys that eating ketchup by itself was acceptable and that they were also bringing harm to the other children by permitting their daughter to indulge in the habit around them. 

Permitting her to be a bad influence.

Frisk could only frown as she embraced her frustrated little girl while Sans’s sockets had gone black as midnight as he silently seethed. Linda had it out for them ever since the PTA luncheon two months ago when he’d mentioned how dry her lemon squares were. She’d asked for an honest opinion and Sans had given her just that. 

She had no right to take out her silent grudge on his little fart princess.

“Well what are ya gonna do about it just stand there and take it?” Undyne asked at the pairs prolonged silence. Papyrus was quick to respond, his usually jovial smile a tight frown at hearing how harshly his niece had been treated.

“CERTAINLY NOT, I THINK WE SHOULD SEND LINDA AN INSULTING LETTER!” Frisk raised a brow as she looked up from Elys, Sans’s eyelights coming back as he looked at his sibling with a smile. It lightened his mood to see what Papyrus’s idea of a rebuttal was.

“I don’t think we should put our names on it.” Gaster supplied as he pressed the tips of his phalanges together in thought.

“He could sign it a f-friend.” Alphys piped up.

“An insulting letter signed a friend, that would be humerious.” Sans snickered. Papyrus shot him a halfhearted glare at the pun but let it drop, the taller monster was far too upset at the rude human they were discussing to have any heat behind it. 

“I think we should turn the other cheek.” Frisk responded as she sent Elys and Arno off to get packed for their trip. She certainly didn’t need them getting any ideas from what everyone was saying. It was bad enough she was certain her daughter already had a plan for getting back at the snarky woman. Elys was too much like her father and Uncle when it came to wit.

“Nooo! When people insulted me I always used to turn the other cheek!” Undyne droned with a pout. That was so unexpected to hear from the rambunctious and passionate fish monster that Frisk simply had to ask about it.

“And?”

“I ran out of cheeks.” Undyne said with an obvious tone as she shrugged. Now that was not surprising to hear coming from the redhead. Sans sighed and smiled lazily; while he was enjoying the back and forth between everyone their idea wasn’t quite hitting the mark for him. Normally he would’ve just let such a thing work itself out. But this was his babybones.

“welp there’s only one way to settle this.” The sound of Sans’s blaster materializing beside him made everyone stop what they’d been saying to stare at him in surprise. His smile still lazy even as his tone dropped. “linda’s gonna have a bad time.”

“Sans! Please not that!” Frisk pleaded with a sweat drop running down the side of her face. Even more surprising than the unexpected blaster’s presence was Papyrus who turned to look at her with a passionate cry.

“BUT FRISK THE FAMILY HONOR!” Oh dear, Papyrus was supporting Sans antics. Frisk felt her skin prickle as her nerves rose. The world had just been turned upside down on its head. 

“He’s right Frisk the family honor!” Gaster exclaimed in agreement with Papyrus before he shot a smirk at his oldest son. “You’ll have to challenge Linda to a duel.”

“nah, i’d rather shoot her in the back.” Sans waved dismissively as his blaster hovered over to sniff at the flower bouquet on their coffee table.

“Blasting people isn’t the solution to this and that is not honorable.” Frisk remarked as she crossed her arms at Gaster.

“but it’s effective, and safe.” Sans rebutted as he rocked on his heels.

“SANS, SAFE? WHILE I RESPECT YOUR WISE DECISION TO FOLLOW SAFETY PRECAUTIONS, A SKELETON DOES NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD FEAR!” Papyrus cried incredulously. Sans didn’t consider himself as cool as his brother was so he was completely shameless and unfazed as he replied.

“i do, i’ll shoot’er in the back.”

“Remember the Serif name!” Papyrus shouted as he stomped his foot. Gaster waggled his finger as he shook his head, his tone only the slightest bit stern.

“It’ll have to be a duel.” Frisk didn’t like how out of hand this was getting.

“with bones?” Sans asked curiously. A duel usually meant swords and he was too lazy for that, really a good shot of magical energy should be more than enough to deal with the situation. He honestly didn’t see why his family was trying to persuade him from it.

“WITH VICTORY GOING TO THE CUNNINGEST, THE SWIFTEST, THE DEADLIEST!” Papyrus exclaimed, his eyes sparkling like they tended to do when he was excited about something as Gaster nodded his head in agreement. 

Even Undyne and Alphys were giving signs of approval with a shout and half stuttered gush on how anime the concept was. Sans paused to look at Papyrus. Those were verbs that he felt didn’t fit him in the slightest.

“...yep shooting her in the back.” Sans drawled slowly.

Frisk at this point had already given up and simply sat on the couch observing as she drank some orange juice and stroked the blaster’s head. An idea for how to sabotage the whole situation trying to piece itself together in her mind if Sans actually decided to go through with his plan.

“Wait how about spears!” Undyne half asked half shouted as she snapped her fingers. Spears? Sans could get behind that; for one it was magic so he wouldn’t need his hands to use it nor the energy a physical sword would require. And two Undyne’s spears were just as fast as his blasters so it wouldn’t take long to deal with Linda. Get in, launch spear, get out.

“well that’s different than--wait...does she get on too?” Sans asked suspiciously as the thought occurred to him his family wouldn’t give him such an obvious advantage so easily.

“Naturally!” Gaster smiled as he answered him. To Sans’s dismay everyone nodded along to his father’s declaration. He should’ve known there was a catch. Heh he could still work with that, after all he wouldn’t need to use effort like Linda would in welding the spear. Sans might simply have less aim coordination as they’d be Undyne’s constructs and not his bones but if he missed he could just ask--

The whole honor thing resounded in his head and made him squint his sockets at the former guard captain.

“...how many?” Sans asked wearily.

“One each.” Undyne folded her arms with finality. Sans sockets went black as his eyelights went out. Were they all serious right now? Just one? Nope his solution was better.

“...in the back.” He deadpanned as he blinked his eyelights back into existence. Sans turned to call his blaster over. They still had time before needing to head out and he wasn’t as angry as he’d initially been, maybe he’d just intimidate the woman not to speak to his kid like that again, he could simply shortcut on over to the school real quick and--

Frisk and his blaster were missing.

...He just couldn’t catch a break.

[ixnova]

Some Undertale thoughts in no particular order

Not being able to settle on Sans’s always smiling no matter what, or allowing him to show emotion during intense moments. To go with that the concept of if he can actually open his mouth or not because on one hand, humor, on the other hand drawing him with large, sharp teeth is so good.

Papyrus with naked limbs vs black fabric over his arms and legs. I’ve drawn him in the former and I cannot explain why.

Wanting to ship Sans and Toriel but at the same time wanting Tori to get back with Asgore even though she has very valid reasons to hate him but knowing Asgore still loves his wife and thought he had valid reasons to do what he did.

Everyone is Frisk’s parent/extended family.

Flowley being kept in the family as a house plant that screeches.

Shipping Papyrus with Mettaton because they are cute. Sans being passive aggressive to Mettaton as  result.

Sans also being passive aggressive to Linda at the PTA meetings.

Unable to decide on drawing Sans like 3ft tall, or 5ft tall and scaling everyone else up according to him. One one hand smol Sans is cute, on the other it seems to make more sense that he’s tall and still short because he’s a monster and Papyrus is like in the 8ft range almost.

Knowing most likely both of their magic is blue, but wanting to make Papyrus’s magic red/orange because of aesthetic and it just feels OFF when he’s using blue for his magic attacks.

Sans accidentally making Frisk cry and regretting it because passive Frisk is a baby so his intimidation like “you’d be dead where you stand” makes them cry and he JUST WASN’T PREPARED FOR THAT HE DIDN’T THINK THE KID WOULD JUST BURST IN TO TEARS OKAY HES SORRY. PEOPLE ARE STARING.

Being torn between Papyrus actually enjoying Sans’s puns on occasion, vs not tolerating it what so ever. Alternatively debating on if Papyrus would make puns himself in an effort to impress Sans/Try and show him how terrible puns are but it just back fires.

Wanting to draw sans in sneakers even though he’s only supposed to wear those if he’s suspecting trouble/genocide run.

Sans using his powers to help others and also it coming out accidentally in dire situations that could have probably been handled without the magic but it was just a natural reflex and now hes got to explain himself.

Sans knowing far more about the timeline that he should and about Gaster and the resets and science and being smart and he’s so fucking stressed trying to make sure things stay good this time and don’t get reset or trying to figure out how to get out of the time loop, etc, that hes just so distracted and distant from everyone because he remembers everything and they don’t, hes seen them all die and hes just in constant fear of when this will happen again and if Frisk is just going to reset it all and he’d loose all this, all his friends, all the happiness and hes right back in fucking snowdin AGAIN, but not knowing how to break the cycle or what would happen should Frisk die or whatever.

Everyone just giving Sans a hug because he needs it.

[nosleepuntilvacation]

Hey folks, my name is Spiny NoSleepUntilVacation, and in this first Autism Acceptance Month of the decade, I got something to say with regards to a certain Undertale AU. You've seen bits and pieces of my complaints from time to time, especially in more recent posts, but in this post, I'm really gonna go all out and say what I feel hasn't been said enough.

(Deep breath)

I. Have had. Enough. Of PTAt*le.

I've had enough of people taking Undertale, a game about learning to find common ground with people who are different than you (and presenting this as a favorable alternative to violence), and turning it into "lol no let's just throw in these shrill ladies who are deliberately made to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever and have sans totally dunk on them!"

I've had enough of Sans being made out to be this total badass who protects Frisk from all the dangers of the world and sweeps Toriel off her feet in his off-time. Does no one remember how he literally threatened Frisk over the dinner table, even in runs where Frisk did nothing to deserve it?

I've had enough of Toriel, the actual badass mother figure from canon, being turned into Sans' perfect little feminine docile housewife who isn't powerful enough to stop abusers on her own and needs Sans to put them in their place for her.

I've had enough of Sans and Toriel being arbitrarily shipped in these timelines, with Sans singing "Can't Help Falling in Love" and absolutely no other love songs ever in between exchanging puns with her.

I've had enough of Frisk, the awesome child hero from canon, able to stand up for themselves against all of monsterkind and convince them not to start another war, being reduced to a kid-in-distress who needs Sans to bail them out when confronted with humans who mean them harm (remember when Undyne and Flowey, among others, literally told Frisk to die? Remember how Frisk still stood their ground? We played the same game, right? I'm just curious).

While this doesn't happen quite as often, I've had enough of Papyrus being victimized or at least rendered unimportant in the narrative just to make it especially personal to Sans. Because Papyrus is just a baby, amirite?

I've had enough of the implied ableism in the previous two examples, since a lot of these works emphasize that one or both of these characters is autistic. And they can't stand up for themselves and need Sans (who often isn't stated to be autistic) to defend them because...?

I've had enough of the female characters either being extremely unpleasant strawpeople (the PTA moms), rendered ineffective (Toriel), or just not present in these conflicts (Undyne, Alphys, everyone else) while Sans (a masculine character) is the big hero we're supposed to cheer on.

And hey, I'm on a roll, so have a few more complaints: why is it bad to be concerned about legitimate safety hazards, as I've seen in at least one comic (the one where Sans and Frisk build a literal tornado for the science fair and Helen complains)? Why does having a vegan and/or gluten-free diet make you evil in this world? (Is that why Alphys and Mettaton don't have super-huge roles beyond "Undyne's girlfriend/wife" and "Papyrus' boyfriend", because the cooking show had them approve of vegan diets and that can't be reconciled with the rules of this world??? /s) How could these PTA moms gain so much power if they have a total inability to cooperate with anyone? How could they even procreate in the first place, because that requires courting someone, and who would want to be around someone that cartoonishly unpleasant long enough to give them babies?

Oh, and are these moms supposed to be serious threats, or are they supposed to be total jokes who exist to get owned? Their portrayal within the works fails to give a definitive answer. And while villains like that do exist in other media, they're at least given traits that make them fun to watch, or even likable to a degree; the PTA moms have none of that.

And did I mention that this AU is often presented as a canon continuation? So you can't even act like these are separate entities; you're trying to convince me that these are the exact same characters from canon. It's a hard sell, as you can guess from what I've said.

TL;DR: this AU just feels like three parts OOC ranting against real people by proxy, and one part Sans worship (combined with shipping him with Toriel just because). Seriously, why can't Frisk or Toriel - or hey, even Papyrus, or one of the other canon characters - be the hero? Why can't the moms be portrayed more as characters instead of strawpeople/plot devices? Hey, Undertale itself had a built-in jerk character; why can't Jerry be the bully?

But yeah, just keep on putting Sans on a pedestal at the expense of everyone else (and canon characterization and the game's intended morals), we don't have enough of that in the fandom...

[small-sketch]

Undertale x TPOH Crossover

A fun idea a friend and I have been bouncing around!!! This is part one of a masterpost for all our ideas since we had m a n y. Not really any rhyme or reason to this, just some key points and things. Hope you enjoy!

The worlds suddenly got merged and all the characters need to learn the rules of how each other’s worlds work

RGB becomes the tired and reluctant dad man for not only Hero, but Frisk as well. Much job, very dad

Sans and RGB don’t vibe

Someone asks Papyrus and RGB to trade outfits and Papyrus looks snazzy, but RGB fights with his dying breath to avoid taking part

Spoiler alert: he loses the battle

Spoiler alert 2.0: he does not look snazzy

Frisk and Hero also do an outfit swap!

PTA is a riot and RGB learns what dad mode truly means

In this AU, Frisk is mute or at least nonverbal

Hero and Frisk super duper vibe

Flowey is so tired because “Oh no… there are two of them…”

RGB has to babysit Flowey, and it ain’t pretty. Flowey gets flashbacks from Mr. TV Head about back when he was in Omega form and was killing Frisk over and over

His flower pot is placed in RGB’s room, so they have a shared nightmare which results in Flowey “sleepwalking” and sorta kinda maybe possessing RBG. Whoops?

Gaster also sees a potential vessel in RGB and takes over his body to type cryptic messages in Wing Dings on his screen. Frisk and Hero get confused but Sans knows what’s up, and he isn’t happy about it

RGB learns really quickly that Frisk is a sweetheart who just wants to help everyone, but now that their worlds are merged, they have to look out for Fears, and RGB tries to tell them that these are creatures that cannot be saved or reasoned with. He struggles to explain that they may be moving and seemingly alive, but they are just embodiments of feelings and ideas, they’re beyond help. But Frisk is….. like… baby tho, so they don’t get it

They try to help the Fears anyway and end up really hurt. Flowey drags them out of the mess, Sans handles the Fears and RGB carries Frisk to safety to get them taken care of. He feels guilty and watches over them, sometimes playing cartoons for them on his screen. Hero comforts them and sympathizes with the trauma of dealing with Fears

[sansofhumor]

title: hey, kid, you’ve goat this rating: pg? characters: sans, papyrus, frisk, asgore tags: sanscentric, referenced character death, AU, death and grief

notes: this is uhhhhhh, raw and not edited bc i die, boy. super self-indulgent. no questons asked. where’s asriel?? chara?? no one knows don’t ask me!! here it is on Ao3! ((for content warnings: the character death isn’t for any of the listed characters, and isn’t described, but the fallout is... basically the whole fic.)

sans hesitates after stepping in the building, glancing around haphazardly. there's a cashier to his left, and walls of clothing in every direction except for in front of him, which has uh, watches? he looks up but the signs aren't very informative. womens, mens, housewares. aren't all these clothes technically house-wears? heh.

"Hello! Do you--uh, do you need help?" The cashier stutters when he turns to face them, but makes a remarkable effort at keeping the surprise off his face and smiling.

((readmore for mobile))

"uh, looking for a suit, or something." he shrugs, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"Let me get you some help!" The cashier speaks into a headset and then tells sans someone will be right there. he shrugs. that's fine. suppose it'd be easier to let someone who might know what they're doing take the reins.

in a matter of moments, another employee comes racing down the aisle stuttering to a stop before him. it's not very busy in the store but they look stressed anyways. despite that, they're smiling. they introduce themselves.

"How can I help you today?"

"just looking for a suit jacket. black. uh cheap?" he says, tacking that last bit on as an afterthought.

"Hmm. Well we aren't going to have a very big selection, but let's look in our clearance!" They lead the way and sans awkwardly follows, into the racks of clothes. They stop in front of a small selection and sans tilts his head looking at what's on offer.

"Do you know your size?"

"uh, round?" he says, looking down at himself then back up at them.

"Try this one?"  

he does. the arms are long, but it hangs alright.

"Hmm, that's a regular, so we're looking for a 40, 42 short." They mumble, picking another jacket. this one is grey. he shrugs into it easily enough. it's still a little long,  but better.

"heh, something wrong?" he asks and the associate winces.

"You need black, you said?"

"yeah, uh. special occasion."

"We don't have much here, there's the grey. Darker grey. Blue. We have some sixty percent off stuff?" They nervously shuffle their feet. he takes a look at the tag. Forty five dollars and it's 90% off.

"eh, sure."

sans takes a look at the jackets, but they're all navys and tans. the associate looks mildly embarrassed, still clutching the slightly too long, dark grey jacket.

"That's all we have, uh, in that price range… do-- when do you need the jacket?”

sans looks at his wrist. it’s bare. he shrugs. “sooner the better.”

“Yeah, the earliest we’re going to get some more markdowns is in a few days. Uhm, and all we have is this--the dark grey. And the black in a smaller size.” They awkwardly shuffle again, gripping the jacket.

“yeah, see, it’s for a uh funeral. gotta be black.” he reaches out and tilts the sleeve so it catches the fluorescent lighting, “or white i guess.”

They start shaking their head immediately, reluctantly informing him they don’t carry white outside of prom season.

“Uhm, I don’t know if this is the first store you tried. Uhm, but the only other place I can think to try is a thrift store--”

“well,” sans shrugs, “i’m actually. late. already.”

the human boggles.

“Oh, I’m--” they frown, “We can-- gosh we don’t have any coupons or anything out. Uhm, you can always return it later? If you’re only going to use it once, I mean. We’ll take it back, no problem.”

“sounds like work,” he breathes. and work? it’s just not like him. she’d understand. “she wouldn’t recognize me in a suit anyways.”

“Oh,” the human glances at him before looking away, “Uh. I--”

“welp. i’ll get outta your hair then.”

“Wait--” sans waits. “Uhm, I just. You look like you’re going through a rough time? Are you uhm, gonna be okay?”

in general, or right now? because, as long as he, you know, doesn’t think about it, he’s fine. he looks at their face. oh, they’re asking-- “it’s fine, i’ve got a shortcut. no breakdowns while driving for me, at least none of the emotional kind, heh.” he sees them whisper ‘breakdowns’. they look like they want to laugh but not offend him. they wrestle the urge down.

“Okay.” they look down at the coat again. “I think… I think whatever you show up in will be okay. She-- she’ll understand.”

sans wishes they’d laughed instead.

“you’re right, tori never let me get her goat anyways, knew i was always kidding around.” he waits just a second before he remembers this person won’t get the joke. he sighs.

“Well. I hope you uh…” they frown hard for a moment. he waits patiently. it’s what he does. “I hope you have... I hope your day is--” they look like they are about to quit. he smiles. well, he’s always smiling. “I hope your spirits lift soon! It’s a shame to see them so … depressed?”

he gives the joke a second of breathing room. the human’s face slowly morphs into one of unrestrained horror. he starts chuckling, then laughing, his breath leaving him in a woosh of amusement. “heh, gotta say, kid, that was a real rib tickler.” they breath a sigh of relief. “you gotta future in amateur comedy, if this sales thing don’t work out. anyways, i’ll leave you to it, kid. thanks for giving me a chuckle, you really made someone’s day.”

“Uh, bye, then!” they give a wave. he walks into the dressing room. he’s gone when they check in on him.

monster funerals are pretty cool. monsters turn to dust when they die, so the most integral part of the ceremony is spreading dust on their most loved things. normally a monster will have a small ceremony, with their surviving family and their close friends spreading the dust on a favorite book, or instrument. maybe, the dust would get split between those who had been closest to the fallen. however, when someone who touched the souls of almost every monster living falls down, the arrangements are a bit different.

Toriel hadn’t been a small monster. but still, her dust doesn’t amount to much. the urnful of ash doesn’t look like it should be all that’s left of the boss monster. it looks small, dainty almost, and though Toriel had never been ungainly, dainty wasn’t a word sans would use to describe her. regal maybe.

there is a line, a procession before him, of monsters. some with various knicknacks gripped in their limbs, some with nothing. all of them there to honor Toriel. she had loved the people in her community and she had touched so many lives and all those souls want closure. some hold precious memories-- “Toriel gave me this recipe while planning for the PTA bake sale, she said it was for her favorite pie”--and they receive a sprinkle of dust, so toriel’s essence can live on in those happier times. some only have the memories in their head, but they still want to be there, to offer their sympathies.

the urn grows deeper as it is emptied of toriel’s dust. if sans were prone to feeling bitter, if he could muster up the effort, he might be tempted to feel bitter about this. tori’s dust being spread so thin, across so many monsters. by rights, tori’s kid should be the one who gets to lay tori’s dust where they want. Tori’s kid, and maybe Asgore, her ex husband, depending on how she felt before she fell. but her dust was spread thin the way her love never was, and if he thinks about it, this is really what tori would have wanted. this ritual, spread across so many, is something to give the monsters in the community hope. to keep their will up even when a pillar has fallen.

besides, why should he get upset over this? it’s not like he wants any of her dust for himself. he has nothing to spread it over, no mementos or sentiments he can hold onto. just a door and some jokes they spent hours and hours on. the soft memory of her braying laughter, the noise of his bones knock knocking against wood. he hadn’t settled in her life, and he’d made sure she couldn’t settle in his.

though, the way his soul feels, he was maybe not too successful at the latter.

he stands at the edge of the gathering until everyone has filed away. he sees a couple monsters he knows-- the neighborhood watchdogs, the school’s coach and science teacher. he sees his brother as well. he sees them all come and go until only asgore remains. he stays until asgore leaves as well, returning to the quaint and tidy house toriel had lived in. he makes his way to the tree they’d stood under. the tree hadn’t meant anything special to toriel, but he isn’t going to interrupt what remains of her family with his tired jokes.

he raps his knuckles against the tree. “knock knock.”

nobody answers.

“hopper.”

“hopper happy on the other side.”

he waits and knocks again.

“knock knock…. baaa….. can’t you tell yourself? i’ve gotten your goat!” inspired, he follows that up quickly with another one. “knock knock… goat… what goat, can’t you see i’m kidding around?” he chuckles.

then he knocks again.

“knock knock…. your leaf….. you’re leafing me bonely, pal.”

and finally: “knock knock. i’ll fish…. i’ll fish you a lot.”

he sighs and thunks his head against the tree trunk. well, that’s as much of a eulogy as he is going to make. kind of went off on a tangent there. welp.

there’s another knocking sound, but this one doesn’t come from him.

“who’s there?” he answers the call obligingly. he’s informed that there’s an interrupting drop bear waiting at his door. “interrupting drop bear who--” a kid tumbles into his arms from the branches above. they’re lucky he’s magical.

“oof, there you are, kiddo. was wondering where you were hiding. oh, you’re wondering why i was late? i had problems with a suitor.” they look at him questioningly. “couldn’t find a suitable jacket.” they look at his worn hoodie and nod their head in agreement. he chuckles and sets them on the ground. “‘sides, better later than never, am i right?” they only shrug.

“well, come on, time to get you inside and fed. it’s getting late.” they take his hand, and he forces himself not to pull away. he walks them up to the door of toriel’s cottage home and knocks, two quick raps out of habit.

“I’ll be just a minute, who’s there?” that’s asgore.

“i’ll be just a minute.”

“Oh, I’ll be just a minute who?” Asgore asks, opening the door, a tired smile on his face. he probably only answered that way because he recognizes sans voice.

“i’ll be just a minute is you,remember?  i’m sans. this is frisk.” he winks. “hey, ‘gorey. goat your kid.”

Asgore blinks, smile trembling a moment before pulling himself back together.

“Ahh, yes… my, hmm. Frisk, I had been wondering where you were at. Thank you, for bringing them home safely, Sans.”

“no prob, i’ll just get outta your way now, then--”

“Nonsense, please, let me invite you in for a cup of tea. I’m sure Frisk would appreciate the company.” as would i, he doesn’t add, but sans can read it on his face well enough. of course asgore doesn’t want to be alone right now. well... sans isn’t very good company right now.

“nah, it’ll just go straight through me, you know that.” he huffs a laugh.

“If you are quite certain, there are some leftovers in the kitchen, still.”

“well, if ya add food into the equation, guess i’m a variable after all.” asgore does not look like he gets the joke. sans won’t explain it.

the dinner is an awkward affair. there’s the remains of a snail casserole, heated up by fire magic. Frisk is sitting next to him, asgore is seated at the head of the table, though not the side that toriel would’ve taken. asgore made tea for them all anyway, and sans drinks it. it’s floral, and it dissipates like all magic food.

“She had a Last Will and Testament notarized,” asgore announces, not quite out of the blue.

“that requires some, uh, foresight.” he comments. asgore glances at him and shuffles his cutlery around.

“We’re reading it tomorrow, in the morning at the courthouse.”

“prompt, sounds good.” he doesn’t know why asgore would be telling him this. he looks at asgore’s face, catches his eyeline, follows it to the kid. “ah,” he says.

“Ah?”

“you need a kidsitter?” he asks. frisk wrinkles their nose at him. they’re not a-- “yeah yeah you’re not a baby, did i call you one?” he winks and frisk pouts. “i don’t have plans, i can make sure your kid is flat as a pancake by the time you come back.”

he’s not really sure why anyone thinks he’s responsible enough for kid duty. toriel had asked him quite a lot. well, he supposes frisk makes it easy most of the time. sure they get into tight spots, but they aren’t nearly the hellion papyrus was at that age.

“That’s not-- actually. Yes, that would work out fine, I believe. Would you like to stay the night then, so you do not have to make the trip twice over?” asgore is incredibly good at looking pleading and open and soft.

“eh, gotta text papyrus. he might want a sleepover with his favorite human too. you willing to host that?” he asks. he, uh, doesn’t really want to spend the night under tori’s roof when he knows that he won’t stumble upon her laughing in her kitchen or reading in the armchair by the fireplace. unfortunately, his brother is really cool and everyone knows that.

“I’d be delighted to have your brother here. He’d be welcome.”

he texts papyrus. papyrus would REALLY, REALLY LOVE TO HAVE A “SLEEP” OVER AT THE HUMAN’S, SANS! BECAUSE I AM SUCH A GOOD AND PREPARED FRIEND, I WILL BRING ALL THE NECESSARY EQUIPMENT. SPAGHETTI, PUZZLES, A VACUUM!  

his brother really lightens the mood when he arrives. bearing puzzles and tupperware containers of food--and dragging a vacuum he insists on using before the night is up--he forcefully injects smiles and optimism into the small gathering. gosh. sans brother is just so cool.

asgore gets along well with Papyrus, he makes a pretty good foil for sans’ excitable brother. still, he bows out of the party games early, thanking them both for offering to keep an eye on the kid the next day.

sans watches the kid and papyrus giggling together over their puzzle game. they keep trying to entice him to join them but he’s content with dozing on the couch.  they rouse him enough to tell him they're ready for bed, looking at him expectantly.

“hmm, you're right it is getting late. ‘night, then.” he rolls over, mostly to hide his amused face.

“SANS!”

he snickers, catches himself, and turns it into a loud snore.

the kid tugs at his jacket as papyrus yells some more. he keeps pretending. the tugs on his jacket stop, and papyrus goes quiet. sans gets suspicious.

“ONE. TWO. THREE!” there’s a rush of movement and then the kiddo is landing in him. he lets out a whoof of air as they settle on him.

“ah, nice of you to drop in.” they giggle. papyrus, who is still holding their arms where he helped soften their landing, scoffs. “oh, you wanted a bedtime story before catching some shut-eye?”

“OF COURSE WE DO SANS! IT’S TRADITION!”

“well, can’t say no to tradition, i guess. settle in.”

papyrus squeezes onto the couch next to them, and sans begins the story with “once upon a time".

the next morning sans wakes to the sound of people getting ready for the day. none of them are being quiet about it, all of them used to him sleeping through anything. he’d actually had a decent amount of sleep though, and as such his mind is reluctantly drawn to wakefulness.

the house smells like breakfast spaghetti, so papyrus must’ve convinced asgore to let him in the kitchen already. asgore’s deep voice was commenting on something something sauce, so he is also in the kitchen. that leaves…

he opens his eyes and meets frisk’s. they grin at him, steady. he returns the smile.

“morning, kiddo. youre up already? heh, yeah we all know who the lazy bones here is.” he sits up and notices that the kid is dressed in a jumper instead of the pajamas they fell asleep last night.

“ready to chill today?” he asks.

they pout at him, smile melting off their face. he raises the ridge above his eye sockets. they just shrug and tug on his sleeve again.

“alright, time for breakfast, then.” he lets himself be pulled up and dragged to the table where papyrus has already set everything out.

“oh, neat, bro, spaghetticakes. my favorite!”

“SANS, YOU SAID MY SPAGHETTI CASSEROLE WAS YOUR FAVORITE?”

“yeah, bro, if you make it, it’s my favorite.”

“AWWW, A GENUINE COMPLIMENT!” papyrus takes a moment out of his busy routine to skip over to sans and give due affection. sans soaks it up like a sponge, albeit a lazy one

“so, getting ready for that willing?” sans asks asgore, who is busy pushing his breakfast around his plate.

“Ah, yes. That. That is. I have received word that Frisk should be present, so it turns out your supervision will not be necessary. I am sorry for inconveniencing you and your brother.”

“doesn’t seem like the kid wants to go.”

“Be that as it may.” asgore starts, and then let’s go, as if it explains everything.

“why not just, you know, let the kid hang out here. no need to drag ‘em with you.”

“It’s very important they attend.” he sighs, resigned. “If sparing them this would benefit them in the long run, I would do so.” he admits. “Again, I apologize for inconveniencing you.”

sans shrugs at the kid. he tried.

“OH. NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE! THOUGH IT DOES SEEM MEAN TO HAVE GOTTEN FRISK’S HOPES TO HANG OUT WITH A COOL SKELETON LIKE ME UP AND THEN NOT FOLLOW THROUGH ON THAT PROMISE…. PERHAPS WE CAN STILL ‘HANG’ AFTER YOUR COURT THING?”

frisk nods excitedly. they want ice cream.

“I do have something to attend after the meeting. I was planning on taking Frisk, but if you’d still like to watch them?”

“OF COURSE!”

“Would it be too much trouble to accompany us to the reading then? That way no one will have to make this trip twice.”

sans narrows his eye-sockets. “was really planning on, uh, taking it easy today.”

“NONSENSE SANS. YOU TAKE IT EASY EVERYDAY. WE’LL JOIN YOU.”

well. now papyrus would just carry him there if he tried to stay behind.

asgore prefers wearing those tropical shirts with the obnoxious patterns and dad shorts. today he’s wearing a suit. sans wonders where toriel was hiding an asgore sized suit-- why she was hiding an asgore sized suit-- or if asgore had brought it with him and hung it somewhere in toriel’s closet. the guest room closet, perhaps, but still toriel’s.

sans would be wearing that suit jacket if he’d ever gotten around to buying it. as it is, he’s dressed in his dirty blue hoodie. everyone else in the room is wearing clean, somber colors. except papyrus of course, in his bright scarf.

he doesn’t mind. he’s too busy passing notes to frisk, who is on the verge of tears. he wants to be mad at asgore. but he looks on the verge of tears as well. the kid opens the note. it’s a poorly drawn caricature of the human reading the legalese of toriel’s will. it startles a chuckle out of the kid.

“The house will be donated to the Monster Wellness Association, under conditions that they use it in line with their mission statement, stipulations on page 8.”

Frisk tenses again and sans wants to grab their hand and take ‘em to get ice cream right now! all this was doing was making the kid realize how much of their mother they were losing at once. not just toriel herself, but the kitchen she cooked in, the fireplace, the cozy room sans had “helped" paint (there was one skeletal handprint underneath the even coat).  

“All of my worldly belongings are bequeathed to my child, Frisk. Frisk may part and parcel them how they choose, though I ask them to consider donating what they do not wish to keep or give to friends to a reputable charity.”

the kid’s breath starts to hitch. sans doesnt know how to help. he has a feeling silly notes wont cut it his time. instead he puts his hand out, and isnt surprised when the kid grips it shakily.

“Concerning Frisk, as I am their only gaurdian and there is no next of kin to take on that role, I will offer my intentions here.” asgore shuts his eyes. ouch, that’s rough, buddy. maybe calling frisk his kid was a little premature. but what else was sans supposed assume? though asgore and toriel had broken up years ago, sans just thought. you know. asgore would, uh. Inherit the kid?

“Though, perhaps unexpected, I believe this the best course of action for everyone involved. I would like to name C. Sans guardian of my child, Frisk.”

because asgore actually had kid, heh, raising experience and toriel had known him for-- wait. What?

“what was that?”

frisk looks at him with wide eyes.

Papyrus looks at him with wide eyes.

“WOWIE BROTHER! DOES THIS MAKE ME AN UNCLE?”

even he knows it would be a dick move to shortcut the hell out of there. the kid still has his hand so he can’t anways, unless he wants a hitchhiker. he does glare in asgore’s direction.  asgore avoids his eyeline. coward.

well. perhaps sans shouldn't be throwing stones.

he keeps his peace so the rest of tori’s will can be read. quietly biding his time, trying to catch asgore’s eyes, avoiding the kid’s.  he still doesn’t take away his hand, and the kid hasn’t let go, but he doesn’t think that reassures either of them.

once the place nearly clears out, sans stands and corners the officiator. asgore seems to have a similar idea.

“OH! FRISK WHY DON’T WE LOOK FOR ICE CREAM. OUTSIDE. WHERE ICE CREAM IS?”

papyrus meets sans’ eyes for half a second. long enough for sans to feel properly chastised and encouraged, like papyrus had found time to lecture and give him a pep talk all within a glance. a pepyrus talk. Heh.

once theyre both gone, he faces the front of the room.

“so you knew about this, ‘gorey?” there’s a question mark, but it isn’t really a question.

“I could not find the right time to bring it up. Toriel had, ah, discussed it with me before. I thought she was planning to have this conversation with you, and it was not my place to intercede and yet…” he trails off.

“you want the kid, don’t you?”

“I do, of course. And will take them in if you find you're not ready to take the responsibility.”

“thought you’d put up more of a fight,”

the boss monster squares his shoulders and faces sans, for real. his stare flinty, stern.

“Do not mistake me, Sans. You are my friend, but if I thought for a second you would do wrong by Toriel’s memory, we would already be in a courtroom.” his eyes soften just a bit, “As it is, that would leave Frisk in a precarious position, and I would not wish to do that when there are other, less drastic means.”

sans hummed, shrugging his shoulders under his jacket. “youre hoping i back out so theres no fuss or muss, eh?”

“You,” asgore scratches his nose, caught out. “You are not known for taking on such responsibility, by your own admission, my friend.”

“hmn,” sans acknowledges his point, “so i, uh, what, refuse custody and the kid gets to go home to your place?”

“Well,” the human interrupts, “Frisk would be temporarily placed in child services, as you are the only officially named next of kin. They’d go down the list-- perhaps your brother, since he is your next of kin-- evaluating each person’s qualifications as guardian. It could take quite a while before Mr. Dreemur is considered, though I’m sure it could be expedited.”

sans narrows his eye sockets, “whattabout what the kid wants, eh? you’d just ship ‘em off with strangers when there’s plenty of monsters they know who’d be willin’ to take ‘em in?”

the human shrugs, “Not me, personally. It’s the system.”

“The process would not take long at all,” asgore says, “It would be quite quick after I submit my application.”

“why was tori so deadset on me havin the kid anyways,”

“I’m afraid it is more that she didn't want me to have them. She was still quite mad at me, despite how she pretended at aloofness.”

sans considered. “why wouldnt she want you to step in, ‘gorey? youre not terrible, whatever your differences. she never had a problem with frisk spending time with you.”

Asgore’s mouth flattened, as did his ears. “Her arguments were… several. I suppose. I am often quite busy, caring full time for frisk would require careful scheduling. I also live quite a distance away, and moving would most likely require frisk to change school zones. They are not unimportant issues but also not something I cannot overcome.”

“yeah, thats what i figured too, but if that were it, tori would've still listed you as an option… something you ain’t telling me?”

sans carefully examines asgore’s face. the tightening of his jaw, the wrinkle between his brows. considers toriel, what she would say about her and asgores lives, when they were together.

he used to be so reliable, she said.

sans would argue that asgore is still reliable. busy, yes. he is the official monster delegate, wielding almost unparalleled political power of course he’s busy. but even as such he always makes time for frisk, his duties, his friends, his hobbies. though sans can see the weight of it on him, he also knows asgore would not let it interfere with frisk’s care.

but then he stopped being reliable for toriel. made decisions about their lives he didn’t consult her about. and when she did try to talk to him about it, he nodded and listened and was sad and contrite but did not bend. it became something toriel could not-- didn’t want to--overcome. so she left.

“what if frisk doesn't want to switch schools?”

“I don’t foresee it being difficult to persuade them of the advantages of a different school district. They aren't a troublesome child.”

“‘course not. hey, why don't we ask them?”

“What?” asgores eyebrows climb up his worried forehead.

“yeah, seems like something they should have a say in, ya’know.” he walks to the door as asgore stumbles over his words.

“You do not think-- all of this stress they are already under-- I understand the importance of--”

and he pulls the door open, a skeleton and a child tumbling into the room when they didn’t scramble back fast enough. sans raises an orbital ridge at his brother. papyrus pops back up and dusts off his body.

“WHY FRISK… IT LOOKS LIKE THE ICE CREAM IS NOT HERE??”

sans shakes his head and looks down at frisk. “whaddaya say, kiddo?”

frisk looks up at him, nervously, before glancing at asgore. the big guy just waves a little, smiling softly. he really does just want the best for frisk, he just has a tendency to make decisions first and cry about them later.

“hey, ‘sall right, buddy, it’s not a decision you have to make now, alright? we can have another sleepover and talk about it in the morning.”

frisk nods, cautiously standing up, reaching for Papyrus’s hand. they go get icecream.

despite the will it still takes awhile for toriel’s wishes to go through with finalization. this mostly means sans is spending a lot of nights on toriel's couch while waiting for frisk’s decision. finally the deed for the house changes names and sans gets the notification.

frisk is still a child, there's no way they know what they will have wished they'd kept and what to give away. still, sans has no part in this process, and he's slowly realizing asgore doesn't quite have a say either.  

“I can have the important things moved to my home, or a storage facility for Frisk to go through when they are feeling up to it. I can have a list of charities by tomorrow as well, for the rest of it.”

“they gave us time, no one is gonna kick us out because frisk hasn't sorted through everything.” sans feels the need to say, since frisk is still in their room.

“I would not throw away anything of sentimental value.” asgore seems offended.

“didn't say so, buddy, just think that maybe frisk should have a say instead of dealing with whatever we think is important instead.”

asgore's nostrils flare, but his shoulders slump and he nods his head. “We shouldn't tarry, however kind the MWA are being.”

sans thinks that the MWA will let them stay as long as they need, but he doesn't press the issue. he decides he should ask the kid how they want to go about this. he kind of doesn't want to deal with it. but if frisk doesn't make their decision, asgore will and though sans isn't the sentimental type he can tell frisk is. what if they throw away a pie tin, and in twenty years frisk will have a break down because they dont have their mother's pie tin to make their mother's favorite pie?

well, maybe he's over thinking this.

he knocks on their bedroom door, then lets himself in.

frisk is a lump on the floor, not even under any blankets. sans steps into the room.

“what's up, kiddo?” they turn to look at him, and their face is miserable. yeah, hearing that it was time to pack up and divide what was left of your mother's life would do that to you.

“you don't have to do it on your own, kiddo. you’ll have all the help you can want.”  frisk wipes under their eyes hastily, though they aren't crying. “i can call pap, he’ll be down to help with everything. he can bring undyne--she probably won't suplex anything if you ask her.”

frisk’s smile is wobbly.

“asgore has got a place set up to help store everything you want, you don't have to worry about space.” frisk hiccups softly, surprising themselves and sans cant help but chuckle at their surprised expression.

he takes the opportunity to shuffle closer and pat their back reassuringly. humans are so weird, with their flesh and trapped air bubbles and reflexively convulsive muscles.

when they calm down, frisk tugs his sleeve enough to get his attention. he inhales a bit sharp. they smile at him hopefully.

“...yeah, you got me, too.” their smile grows.  he gets an idea, and lets himself drop on them. he hears them make a noise of surprise. “oh no,” he says, “looks like you really got me, you're too strong.”

frisk is giggling, pretending to shove him away with their small hands. “i can't escape, your gravitational pull is just too strong,” he leans more weight onto them, carefully. frisk is laughing now, breathless as they flail their limbs, pushing at his loose jacket and his rough bones. with a jolt they finally collapse, and they both fall flat.

he laughs, and waits until they focus on him again, their cheeks and eyes red, but not from stifling tears anymore. “hey, kiddo.” frisk hums in acknowledgment. “looks like your stuck with me, huh.”

their hand finds his again.

he finds he's starting to mind it less.

the kid is looking indecisive at the trash. sans is leaning against the counter. he's sure that toriel would have asked frisk to take the garbage bag to the curb as one of their chores before-- well. and now the kid is frozen, sad eyes staring at the garbage can with something heavy crawling across their back.

sans doesn't know what it's like, longing so deeply for something. sometimes, he's not sure he really knows what feeling anything is like anymore.

there's nothing more that sans wants than to leave frisk to have this moment alone. but he'd already promised the kid that they were stuck with him, and it's not like he is going to make himself useful by actually packing up tori’s--now the kid’s--belongings. so he stays, and watches frisk's shoulders stiffen with decision.

they take out the trash.

it's one more thing they're saying goodbye to.

a lot of the furniture has been parceled between the friends gathered to help frisk. undyne had snagged quite a few kitchen appliances, asgore had been surprised and touched when frisk gave him toriel's bookshelves and her treasured chairiel.

there were quite a few things frisk was donating as well, both to a monster shelter--a lot of toriel's non-perishable foodstuffs and blankets--and to the mwa group moving in.

some other things were for asgore's storage system, to be considered another day--toriel’s clothes, her stacks of books, the teaching supplies.

frisk seems reluctant to actually keep anything for themselves, despite sans insisting that they can keep every item in the house. not like asgore cant afford that much storage. there's a lot that frisk lingers over, but hesitates to grab. a book of snail facts that frisk rubs a finger over before placing it in a box headed for asgore's house.

sans, despite everything else, knows the importance of bedtime stories and he knicks the tome when noone is looking.

and now frisk is getting teary eyed over the trash can. sans doesn't want to psychoanalyze that, but it's not like he can stop himself from reading the tense lines in their body.

he hops up onto the kitchen counter, the movement familiar enough to him. he knocks into the knife block, and frisk’s eyes snap to him. their gaze slides over to the knives, contemplating.

they drag a new box to the counter and reach towards the cabinets, ignoring the knives.

“oh, you think since i'm up here i'm game to help you?” he leans back, resting against the backsplash, short enough that the cabinets dont bother him.

they shake their head and rattle the box insistently and sans relents.

“‘k. but only ‘cause youre even shorter than me.” and instead of reaching up to hand the mugs in the cupboard to the kid, he just turns their soul blue and lifts them up to the cabinets.

they laugh, delighted, and plop the box on sans' lap, before getting down to business.

frisk isn't going about this methodically, though they are being thorough. it probably doesn't help that the rest of their friends are disorganized themselves, each deciding to tack different areas. mostly this means that frisk has already helped undyne and papyrus pack up a lot of the dishes and pots and pie tins--frisk didn't keep any for themselves, but gave Papyrus everything from the casserole dish to the smallest tart round. sans doesnt know why, his brother doesn't really bake and always looks quizzical when sans offers a quiche on the rare occasion sans gives him a night off from dinner duty--but there are still coffee mugs since undyne has too many already and Papyrus doesn't really drink things that can't be put into a normal glass.

frisk carefully pulls these down and hands them to sans, who dutifully wraps them in newspaper and places them into the box. toriel had a lot of mugs, a lot of funny ones and collectible ones. he huffs a laugh at i like you a latte as he wraps the papers around it.

frisk laughs as well, and hands him another, this one saying this is some with a picture of a koala and a tea bag. that one is very good.

another mug, another joke. “that's what.” -she is particularly clever and sans can see it delighting the part of toriel who loved teaching.

frisk gestures to be let down and as soon as their feet touch the tile they take off to another cabinet, digging through the contents before running back to sans and the box.

sans wraps up a salt shaker and tilts his head and the ceramic battery sculpture paired with it. frisk huffs and shakes some pepper out of the batter and sans is positively delighted.

“a salt and battery!” sans laughs, doubling over on the counter, “that one really--” he tries to catch a breath between his chuckling, “that one really packs a punch, kid!”

frisk helps sans off the counter when he gets over his laughing fit, and gathers a few more punny kitchenware for the box before giving it back to sans.

“alright, where do’ya want this one?” he follows frisk's direction and sets the box down, deliberately separate from but still related to Papyrus’ stack of boxes.

“oh--” he, uh, he doesn't know what to say now.

frisk looks at him, expression determined.

“IS THIS ONE MY BROTHER'S THEN?”

Papyrus swoops in and snags the box from between them.

“ah, pap--”

“YES, SANS?” Papyrus looks guilelessly at sans, cradling the box. frisk is nervously biting their lip. okay. yeah, this isn't the hill he's going to die on. he can just. put them in a drawer somewhere and not look at them, or something. no need to get worked up about this. ‘s not like his kitchen is already going to be filled up with tori's left behinds.

“there's uh, ceramics in there. so.”

“OF COURSE I WILL BE CAREFUL WITH THEM, SANS! THAT'S WHY I AM CARRYING THEM. I AM THE BEST AT CARRYING THINGS. I CARRY YOU ALL THE TIME!”

“you're right.”

Papyrus spins on his heel and marches out the door like he's afraid sans is going to unpack the box if he isn't fast enough. sans sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.

most of the house is packed up now. undyne os clattering somewhere throwing junk in a box to be donated probably. asgore is marking things to be put in storage.

a touch nudges his hand, and sans looks down to see the kid looking at him from beneath their fringe.  the kitchen is clear enough for frisk, the kid is content that anything left can be claimed by their friends or given away now that they've gotten sans to accept the box.

sans lets his hand turn so he can catch frisk's fingers. “alright, what's next?”

frisk tightens the hold and leads him down the hall, to toriel's room. sans feels his grin take a nervous shade, but. he said he'd be there for the kid, he can't run away now.

frisk’s grip is too tight.

the door creaks open and sans is led inside. the lights are off and the kid does not turn them on, so neither does sans. they tug him over to a desk where they finally let go of his hand. he’s in it too far to leave now, so he puts his hands in his pockets while the kid carefully goes through the desk drawers.

tori’s room is quaint, tidy. like he would expect from her, if he had to guess. her bed is tucked in a corner, taking up more room than a standard but less than a king, the covers smoothed and well made but not like a perfectionist did them up. there is a chest and a dresser. everything is unassuming.

frisk closes a drawer with care so sans takes his cue and refocuses his attention on them.

they are holding out a book.

“oh, kiddo…”

oh, kiddo indeed. they hold out the book insistently. sans does not take it. they insist again. sans dodges.

“c’mon that’s, kid… it’s-- that’s uh,” he runs out of words.

they pull back the book just to flip it open, searching for a page to show him. he doesn’t want to see it. they show him anyways. it’s just a simple planner, a teacher’s agenda. days divided into squares with notes written in the corners. almost like a journal. there’s an entry circled and sans can’t help but read it.

Why did the skeleton want a friend? …. Because she was feeling BONELY!

frisk closes the book and offers it again like a question. sans shakes his head.

“i just…” it’s too much, he doesn’t say. he’s been doing good at not thinking about it. he’s been doing really good and avoiding the thoughts and memories and expecting her braying laughter after he tells a joke and finding its absence instead.

he spent so much time trying to minimize the damage. he can remember the first time he stopped and realized this was going to hurt, when it ended and known he’d been in too deep to stop it from hurting at all because toriel had made it so hard to just not care but he had been preparing himself for the inevitability that she’d get tired of him, or offended? or that he’d mess something up like he always does and she’d be out of his life, because the only good thing he ever managed to keep was Papyrus and that was inexplicably in spite of everything sans ever did.

this was so much worse than he was expecting.

all that effort and now everywhere he turns there’s a space that isn’t empty but doesn’t have potential anymore. his next words don’t have the potential to make toriel laugh, anymore. the spaces between his fingers no longer have the potential to get chalky with flour. he’ll never be able to tell tori that, yeah, this time he’d tag along as a pta chaperone for a fieldtrip, make some prime parents from hell jokes, yeah? all this time keeping himself a couple feet withdrawn, content to whilst away the maybes and somedays and now all he has to show for it is a sad kid and a journal telling him how lonely tori was.

he wasn’t much good for anything, but he’d had a chance to be a good friend. now that, like everything else, was gone.

he can’t meet the kid’s eyes. he knows he has some kinda responsibility here but. he’ll mess it up anyways, won’t he? he already is. he actually already has. he’s surprised Papyrus isn’t more messed up than he lets on.

he’s through the bedroom door almost before he’s made a decision, but he doesn’t step into the hallway of toriel’s house. instead he steps onto the clashing carpet of his and his bro’s second floor, the door behind him clicking shut. he stands there for a moment.

he guesses that it was time for the punchline to hit. it took such a long while, of course it was sure to be a knockout.

there’s nothing left to do, but slip into his room and clock out for the day.

he gets away with it for longer than he expected, honestly. and the wake up is far gentler than he expects.

“SANS?”

papyrus finally knocks on his door. it’s been… sans squints at the dark of his ceiling. well, it can’t have been too long, none of his bosses have called him, at least.

“SANS… MAY I COME IN?”

sans shifts his head to peak out at the door frame. everything’s dark so he’d be able to see if the frame was on. it’s not. he looks back at the ceiling. he hears Papyrus shifting as he waits for an invitation. sans knows he should say something but he can’t bring himself to. Papyrus finally settles against the door, sans can hear him slide down against it.

“I HAVE FINISHED PUTTING AWAY… EVERYTHING. EVEN THE MUGS. I ASKED IF YOU WANTED THEM ANYWHERE SPECIFIC BUT… YOU DIDN’T ANSWER. SO I PUT THEM IN THE CUPBOARD! THE ONE YOU CAN REACH. I HOPE THAT IS OKAY.”

that’s considerate of him.  sans should say so.

“I WILL TAKE YOUR SILENCE AS THE RINGING ENDORSEMENT I AM SURE IT IS. THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOT DISCOURAGED BY YOUR CONTINUED SILENCE AT ALL.”

sans stays silent.

“OF COURSE… IF YOU WERE TO BREAK YOUR SILENCE BY. PERHAPS. SPEAKING TO ME. OR EVEN MAKING SOME SORT OF SOUND ACKNOWLEDGING THAT YOU ARE, IN FACT, ALIVE IN THERE, IT WOULD NOT BE REMISS.”

that makes sans blink. oh right. yeah. right. he pushes himself up. he should say something but. but that still feels like too much. like if he said something it might. it might start something he can’t stop. he pats around for his phone.

he digs it out of one of his pockets. it’s still got a charge--thank you alphys--and it’s set to silent. there are some missed notifications but he ignores them to pull up papyrus’ contact. he composes a message. short, sweet, to the point: im awake

he hears the buzz of Papyrus’ phone.  

“OH-- OH GOOD. GOOD.”

his voice sounds shaky, relief in every octave. good going sans, brother of the year, there.

“FINALLY YOU BREAK YOUR LAZY STREAK! CONGRATULATIONS, BROTHER, YOU ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO BREAKING YOUR SELF IMPOSED ISOLATION AND REUNITING WITH SOCIETY. I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU.”  the thing is, Papyrus doesn’t even sound sarcastic, because he is very proud of sans.

“YOU MISSED UNDYNE SUPLEXING ASGORE AFTER YOU. LEFT.” Papyrus offers in the silence sans let grow. “SHE KEPT TRYING TO SNEAK UP ON HIM AFTER THE FURNITURE WAS CLEARED.  ALPHYS HAS PICTURES. PROBABLY.”

“FRISK SPENT THE NIGHT TO HELP UNDYNE AND ALPHYS, WHICH THEY COULD DO BECAUSE THEY ARE ON A TEMPORARY BREAK FROM SCHOOL AND AS SUCH DOES NOT NEED TO GET UP EARLY AND BE CAREFULLY DELIVERED TO THE CAMPUS AS IS CUSTOMARY FOR A HUMAN THEIR AGE.”

despite everything, sans can tell Papyrus is trying to lead up to something. sans still cannot find his voice, but his brother is doing his best and what would sans be if he didn’t try, too? he rolls carefully onto the floor.

“I HAVE CONSIDERATELY RESEARCHED THE RULES AND REGULATIONS OF FRISK’S SCHOOL SYSTEM, AS A SELFLESS BOON BECAUSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NOT ONLY THOUGHTFUL AND GENEROUS, HE IS PREPARED! IT WAS NOT BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM. THINGS.”

sans stumbles in his fumbling steps to stand.

“I AM NOT SURE YOU ARE AWARE, BROTHER, BUT THERE ARE TWO SETS OF HOURS, REFLECTING EACH OTHER. THIS MEANS THERE IS A SEVEN IN THE MORNING AS WELL AS THE EVENING.  THOUGH THIS IS AN HOUR I SEE VERY OFTEN, AS A RESPONSIBLE MEMBER OF SOCIETY WITH A DEDICATION TO HIS JOB, IT IS ONE I KNOW YOU ARE UNACCUSTOMED TO ENTERTAINING. REGARDLESS… THIS IS THE HOUR  FRISK MUST BE UP TO START GETTING READY FOR THEIR SCHOOLING, IF THEY ARE TO MAKE IT ON TIME.”

Papyrus’ voice trills, the way it does when he starts up his monologues, settling into his speech. sans can almost see the way his hands gesticulate, gloves underlining the points in his words.

“AND OF COURSE THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL RELISH THE CHANCE TO TAKE OUR TINY HUMAN FRIEND TO SCHOOL ON THE WAY TO HIS IMPORTANT JOB! HOWEVER THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I MUST BE UP MUCH EARLIER THAN EVEN SEVEN IN THE MORNING, AND FRISK CANNOT BE EXPECTED TO MAKE THE LONG AND POTENTIALLY PERILOUS PATH THEMSELVES… “

here his hand would flutter, nervously, as if conjuring the next set of words he has to speak.

“AND, THOUGH APPARENTLY BREAKS ARE MANDATORY AND MUST BE TAKEN DESPITE A HEALTHY WORK ETHIC--” Papyrus audibly stops himself from going on a tangent. “--THERE IS NOT ONE LONG ENOUGH AT THE RIGHT TIME TO PICK THEM UP AFTER SCHOOL.”

“AND. THOUGH MY COOKING IS UNPARALLELED AND FILLED WITH PASSION, HUMANS NEED MORE THAN MAGIC TO KEEP THEIR GROSS HUMAN BITS RUNNING PROPERLY. AND HUMANS NEED A LOT OF SOCIAL INTERACTION, ESPECIALLY CHILDREN, IN THE FORM OF SUPERVISED ‘PLAY DATES' WHICH ARE NOT COVERED IN THE DATING MANUAL! “

“AND THERE IS A THING CALLED PTA? AND ONE MUST JOIN THE PTA IN ORDER TO FULFILL OPTIMUM GUARDIAN POTENTIAL AND THE GREAT PAPYRUS JUST DOES NOT HAVE TIME TO ATTEND EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES IF THEY DO NOT OCCUR BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 5PM AND 4AM, WHICH THE SCHOOL ASSURES ME THEY DO NOT! I CANNOT BELI--”

sans opens the door and Papyrus tumbles backward, falling onto the floor with a noise of surprise.

“what's a matter, bro? all this worrying is making you fall down.” the weight of the sentence hits sans all at once. “i mean, fall over-- uh, that's, sorry, that one was awful.”

“NYEH HEH HEH, SANS!” Papyrus laughs from the floor, giving sans a faint sense of unreality. Papyrus laughing at a terrible joke while sans looks down at him. things have been weird lately.

“stop laughing, bro, we really gotta get your funny bone checked out.”

“FORGIVE ME IF I ENJOY JAPES THAT REQUIRE A LITTLE MORE BACKBONE THAN YOU LIKE TO MAKE!”

sans shakes his head. this is one of those times he would choose to smile if he had a choice. his brother is really the best. even if his brother is working himself up for some reason.

“what’re you really upset about?” sans asks, letting his shoulder lean against the doorframe.

“I AM NOT UPSET! I JUST. WANT TO SUPPORT YOU IN THE THINGS YOU DECIDE TO DO.”

“support me?” sans crosses his arms. Papyrus gives him an incredulous look, like sans is the one acting topsy turvy today.

“I KNOW YOUR MEMORY GETS WEIRD WHEN YOU HAVE ONE OF THESE SAD NAPS. BUT YOU CANNOT FORGET YOUR COMMITMENT TO FRISK WHILE THEY CHOOSE IN WHICH DIRECTION THE REST OF THEIR LIFE WILL GO!”

“that’s exaggerating just a bit, bro.”

“YOU AND I BOTH KNOW IT IS NOT!”

sans shrugs. then sighs. “i think… i already messed this up.”

“BUT NOT IRREPARABLY, BROTHER. MISS TORI-- THE HOUSE IS PACKED UP NOW, AND FRISK CANNOT STAY THERE ANY LONGER. ASGORE HAS BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO, AND YOU ARE THEIR LEGAL GUARDIAN FOR NOW! SO THEY WILL BE RETURNING HERE. YOU CAN APOLOGIZE!” papyrus squints up at sans. “OR MAYBE PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED, BUT RESOLVE TO DO BETTER IN THE FUTURE!”

“ouch,”

“I’M ONLY SAYING THE TRUTH. YOU’RE VERY AVOIDANT. BUT EITHER WAY, I AM HERE TO SUPPORT YOU. OR. I WANT TO BE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU.”

“things would… have to change a lot, huh.”

Papyrus is not a monster that enjoys hiding his feelings, and so it’s very easy for sans to see the concern and doubt in his brother’s face as Papyrus leans back and stares up at him.  his brother radiates openness, an easy ear to listen to him, if either of them had ears.

“heh, have to start scheduling my naps again, huh.”

“YOU MAY HAVE TO EVEN QUIT ONE OF YOUR JOBS TO FIT THEM ALL IN!” papyrus is way too excited by that.

“yeah, heh.” he swallows. they can afford for him to drop a job or two, but doing so makes sans uneasy. sure he’d have more time off, Papyrus doesn’t need sans to provide a cushion anymore, and it’s been a long, long time since sans has needed to “figure something out” when bills started piling up in the mail.

“what if they decide to stay?” he asks, hunching inwards.

“THEN THESE CHANGES MAY BE PERMANENT FOR US! I CAN SUBMIT CHANGES TO MY AVAILABLE HOURS, SO YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELF. AGAIN.”

“you love your job.”

“I WOULDN’T BE QUITTING SANS! IN FACT, I HAVE A SUSPICION THAT MY BOSS WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE IT IF I STOPPED CLOCKING IN ON THE WEEKENDS.”  Papyrus shakes his head wryly.

“okay, yeah, maybe you should stop doin that.” he crosses his arms and hisses air through his teeth. “i want to argue that you shouldn’t have to step in when i can’t uh, can’t do something myself, or by myself. but you’re being frustratingly good at cutting off my points of argument.”

“THANK YOU! I HAVE BEEN PRACTICING. YOU’RE VERY GOOD AT DEFLECTING AND I NEEDED TO STRENGTHEN MY OFFENSE IN RETALIATION.”

“you shouldn’t have to do that, i should just be able to talk about this without getting, heh, rattled.”

“AND WE ARE BACK TO THE LOWEST TIER OF HUMOR. BROTHER. ALL MY LIFE, YOU HAVE BEEN HELPING ME! ALONE! AND I WOULD BE DOING YOU A DISSERVICE IF I INSISTED I NEEDED TO ‘PAY YOU BACK’ FOR ALL THE YEARS YOU SUPPORTED ME. BUT, I WOULD LIKE THE CHANCE TO HELP YOU, TOO. I WOULD LIKE THE CHANCE TO DO THINGS. WITH YOU. AND FEEL LIKE I AM HELPING.”

“AND, I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO ‘PAY IT FORWARD’. I LIKE FRISK VERY MUCH, AND IF THEY CHOSE TO STAY WITH YOU--WITH US--THEN I THINK I WOULD LIKE LEARNING HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THEM AS WELL. I WOULD LIKE TO BE THERE FOR THEM, THE WAY YOU WERE THERE FOR ME.”  he doesn’t need to say “the way no one was there for you,” but sans can read it off his face easy enough.

he must make some sort of expression, because Papyrus finally sits up, kneeling so he can glare into sans’ face.

“YOU ARE THINKING ‘but Papyrus, I was terrible at raising you when I, myself, was a child and had no idea what I was doing’ BUT YOU ARE WRONG. AS PROOF: LOOK AT ME, I AM EXCELLING AT LIFE!” Papyrus gestures at the whole of himself, smiling broadly. sans laughs half-heartedly.

“you are pretty great, bro. but you deserved a better life than what i could give you. frisk deserves a better one, too. and they had tori-- uh. they had tori. there’s no way i can live up to her. i don’t know why she named me anyways, unless it was a joke.” it’s a joke sans would laugh at, too, in any other situation.

“SANS.” Papyrus actually puts his hands on sans’ shoulders and gives him a shake, the frustration welling up in him. “I DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS THAT I CAN PUT IT. BUT! YOU! DID THE BEST THAT YOU COULD! AND YOU WILL DO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN IF FRISK DECIDES TO STAY WITH US! I KNOW YOU ENJOY PRETENDING TO BE LAZY AND ACTING LIKE YOU DON’T EXPEND ANY EFFORT. BUT SOMETIMES IT SEEMS LIKE YOU BELIEVE IT, AND I CANNOT STAND THAT.”

“YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT, YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH SANS! TORIEL CHOSE YOU, INSTEAD OF ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE SHE KNEW THIS! AND SHE HAD EYES! SHE COULD SEE HOW MUCH EFFORT YOU PUT INTO FRISK, EVEN AS JUST A FAMILY FRIEND! IT WAS NOT A JOKE. YOUR LIFE ISN’T A JOKE, SANS. YOU’RE MUCH BETTER AT THINGS THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE, AND IF YOU CANNOT BELIEVE IT, THEN I WILL BE RIGHT HERE TO CONTINUE TELLING YOU.”

‘“aw, geeze, pap.”

“AND,” Papyrus looks to the side, shifty eyed, “IF YOU CANNOT BELIEVE ME--”

“hey, no, pap--”

“YOU SHOULD READ THIS.” Papyrus pulls out the same book that startled sans into running away in the first place. it’s plain cover unassuming in papyrus’ gloved palm.

“Papyrus…”

“YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KEEP IT, BUT YOU SHOULD READ IT. WHEN YOU CAN. SANS, I KNOW TORIEL MEANT A LOT TO YOU. THOUGH YOU TRY TO HIDE IT? FOR SOME REASON? I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY, BUT IT’S VERY HARD TO PRETEND YOU DO NOT LIKE HER WHEN YOU ACTUALLY PICK UP THE PHONE WHEN SHE CALLS, OR DITCH YOUR EVENING NAP TO SLEEP ON HER COUCH AND EAT HER FOOD OR-- OH,”

Papyrus stops in the middle of his rant. sans’ shoulders are shaking. sans doesn’t know when that started, this whole conversation makes him want to crawl back into the depression on his mattress.

“I’M SORRY.” Papyrus sets the journal down. “I FORGOT, I’M SORRY.” he carefully puts his arms around sans’ shoulders, like any pressure will make crush sans. after a second, papyrus pulls sans closer, and makes the loose cradle into a real hug. “IT’S OKAY, SANS, IT REALLY IS.”

sans’ face is pressed against the fabric of Papyrus’ shoulder. Papyrus’ arms are locked around sans like, like something sturdy and lasting. something safe. and despite that cold feeling in his chest, the ice that crawls up his spine when he stops to think about anything, the purple karma that drips from his hands when he looks at them. despite everything, in this one moment, he thinks maybe Papyrus is right. maybe it’s okay.

sans, for the first time in, stars, years, starts to cry.

it’s not that sans is trying to ignore the apology he owes, or that he’s trying to prove Papyrus right. it’s just that he needs to figure himself out, and do it in a very compressed time. so while Papyrus puts together a quick lunch, and takes the kid out (for more icecream) and comes back with increasingly exasperated but still supportive side-eyes and pointed remarks about the living room and emotional depth, sans hides in the basement.

there’s a photo album sans keeps there, with some other things that he likes to avoid direct contact with. he hasn’t actually opened the album in years, but he can’t just throw it away. even if just because it’s not only his, but papyrus’ too. what if twenty years in the future, indeed.

sans knows he has issues. he can even trace why he acts like that for a good number of those issues. he didn’t have the chance to be a picky eater as a kid, so now he’s just a garbage disposal. he got in the habit of scrimping so he could make the bills, and even though he’s got a safety net now, it’s a habit he’s unwilling to break.

some of them are harder for him to place--he like making people laugh, to the point that he knows he can be obnoxious or will have to work harder at being taken serious. maybe making jokes is easier than honest emotional labor (true). maybe making people laugh is the fastest way to take control of a situation (true)--but he can conjure up a guess or two.  

sometimes, he just. doesn’t know, and thinking about it doesn’t really help--sometimes he’ll order something online, only to get it twice even though he’s pretty sure he only got it once. he only ordered one of them, he should return the second, but he’s always so certain it’ll take care of itself. why would it take care of itself? it’s not like his purchases and bank account get reset after a week--so he doesn’t think about it.

so. grieving. it’s not something he has practice with, not for lack of opportunity. it’s why he has a photo album collecting dust in his basement. it’s why even Papyrus doesn’t say much about their past when anyone inquires about the skeleton brothers. it’s why he’s avoiding the child of a deer friend.

oh, she would’ve like that one.

but he was right, earlier. papyrus deserved a better life than the one sans managed to cobble together, no matter what papyrus has to say about it now. and frisk also deserves better than a bag of bones too bitter, too scared to figure out how to open up a little.

he was also right, in that frisk should still get to choose.

“SANS?” papyrus calls down the basement stairs.

“yeah?”

“TIME FOR DINNER?”

“are you asking me?”

“OF COURSE NOT, I AM ANNOUNCING THAT IT IS TIME FOR DINNER! FRISK IS SETTING THE TABLE, PLEASE COME UP, I DO NOT WANT OUR MEAL TO GET COLD!”

sans smiles from the dinner table, winking at frisk when they turn to set a plate down and sees him.

“bro, we’re waiting on you now.”

Papyrus whirls around at the sound of sans’ voice, eyebrows comically raised for someone who has been living with sans their whole lives. he gathers himself expertly and stomps his foot, seamlessly falling back into their familiar, comfortable roles.

“SANS YOU LAZYBONES! YOU COULD HAVE WALKED UP THE STAIRS!”

“but i didn’t wanna miss your spescapula cooking!”

“SANS! YOU KNOW MY COOKING IS WORTH MORE THAN AN EASY PUN!”

“you’re right bro, didn’t mean to punsult you.”

“THAT WAS EVEN WORSE!!”

“you’re smiling anyways.” sans settles back into his chair.

“I AM! AND! I HATE IT!”

there’s a clatter of utensils, as frisk kneels on their seat to serve themself, and sans takes the serving spoon from frisk’s hands before papyrus can, motioning them to push their plate closer. “don’t worry kid, i got you.”

frisk doesn’t hesitate to let him dump a spoonful of mash potatoes on their plate, and doesn’t object when sans’ grin turns mischievous. he adds another spoonful, and another. and another. and another.

“SANS!”

“what, you gonna deny the kid a well balanced dinner?” he asks. frisk looks delighted at the slightly leaning tower of potatoes stuck to their plate. Papyrus’ shriek of frustration makes something loosen in sans’ rib cage.

frisk is a good, even tempered kiddo. there’s no comparing them to papyrus at that age. but the guilt that settles behind his jaw when he thinks of them is the same sort that fills him up with he thinks about his brother’s babybone era.

the kid is staying in Papyrus’ room for the moment, and sans lingers in the doorway. only a little bit creepily. he grips the book in his hand. maybe this is a bad idea. sans should just let frisk get to sleep. they got a lot going on, he doesn’t need to interrupt them.

he takes a step back towards the staircase. then sidles back to the door. he’s let things go long enough already, though. it doesn’t matter how unruffled the kid acts, sans knows they feel bad about how he acted back at tori’s. and whether they already have forgiven him or not, he needs to let them know it’s not their fault. that he’s the one who is sorry and needs to make up for it.

it reminds him sharply, of being young and confused but determined, facing the door papyrus insisted on slamming in his face because SHUTTING A DOOR IS A PHYSICAL PUNCTUATION MARK SANS, AND THIS ONE IS AN EXCLAMATION!  and having no idea what went wrong or how to fix it, but knowing he couldn’t let this one lie.

the door opens.

“ah, sorry, i--ah geeze really?” frisk looks tiredly up at him. okay, so he forgot they could see his shadow under the door frame. that’s only mildly embarassing.

“did you… want a bedtime story?” he asks. they step away from the door. “yeah, course i have time, kiddo. i wouldn’t offer if there was anything i’d rather be doin.”

he follows them inside, and though he can tell they are trying to be even keeled, the speed they use to jump back into Papyrus’ bed makes it clear they’re excited about this.  he follows at a more sedate pace, thinking over his decision. he could always dig out Fluffy Bunny instead, that’s a classic. but, that wouldn’t mean the same thing. he’s gotta show his hand.

“alright,” he says, settling himself onto the bed with frisk. “let me know if you want a different book, but i thought you might like this one.” he pulls turns the cover so frisk can see.

“99 snail facts.” a sharp noise escapes frisk, but they don’t protest. sans lets himself smooth their hair over before opening the book.

“number 99, snails have tongues covered in hundreds of little teeth. okay, that’s, terrifying.” frisk laughs. “yeah i guess it works like a chainsaw? or a file. look here’s a diagram.” he flips the book to show frisk, who nods at the picture. “figure a, the radula, with rows of teeth. wow, didn’t know snails were so rad. number 98, snails are part of a group called gastropod molluscs that means, uh, soft stomach foot-- hey, i resemble that remark, heh.”

he pages through the book with frisk, and if either of them get misty eyed about it. well, at least they can wipe each other’s tears.  he pats frisk’s head one last time, before hopping off the bed and turning out the light for them to sleep.

papyrus is waiting for him downstairs, still settled on the couch. he turns to stare as sans makes his way over, scooting to the side so sans can flop onto the couch. sans’ face still has residue on it from story, and he scrubs it against the couch fibres. Papyrus doesn’t protest.

“what’s it, paps?” he mumbles into the cushion.

“FIRST, I’M PROUD OF YOU FOR OPENING UP TO FRISK!”

“thanks?”

“SECOND: IS EMOTIONALLY HEAVY READING MATERIAL THE THEME WITH YOU RECENTLY?”

“oh,” papyrus is holding the album. “didn’t think you’d find that so fast.”

“IT WAS ON THE TABLE. YOU DIDN’T EVEN HIDE IT IN A JOKE BOOK. I MEAN, IF YOU AREN’T READY AFTER ALL--”

“nah, pap, if i weren’t ready, it’d still be collecting dust downstairs.”

“... ARE YOU SURE?”

sans sits up and turns to face papyrus. his brother looks nervous, with an undercurrent of excitement and worry. this is something sans should’ve done a long time ago. instead of dwelling on the guilt he lets himself fall against his brother’s side, grabbing for the photo album. Papyrus gives it to him, and he opens the cover.

there’s an oval frame, and in that frame is a washed out photo of papyrus’ baby face, mouth open in what sans’ is sure was a ear-piercing shriek. there’s a blurry skeletal hand in the frame, like the suddenness of papyrus’ yell made someone jerk across the camera. below the portrait papyrus 19XX? is written sans’ handwriting. he tilts the page towards papyrus, who reaches out and flips it.

“WHO’S THAT?”

sans runs a finger across the old photo. something sharp twists behind his sternum, the same thing as always. the thing that makes him want to throw away all these mementos and forget they ever mattered to him because if he doesn’t, he’s afraid his soul is going to shatter. but he’s been hiding for way too long now.

maybe it’s time sans admits he deserves something better, too. he looks at papyrus’ curious face. he taps his finger against the photo.

“that was the royal scientist.”

“WHAT’S A ROYAL SCIENTIST AND WHY ARE THEY IN OUR PHOTO ALBUM?”

“oh yeah, the dreemur family used to be, like, filthy rich back in the day. so everyone would call ‘em the monster nation’s royal family. pretty sure they were actually a royal family at some point. anyway, he got that nickname ‘cause the dreemurs liked sponsoring his pet projects.”

for some reason, with papyrus’ bones digging into his side, sans felt the prickling sensation of ice start melting off his back. Papyrus passes him a ceramic mug as he settles into the story.

tomorrow the kid might decide they’re better off living with asgore. or they might decide they like living with sans and papyrus better. sans might freak out again, or he might be able to wait until he’s not gonna scar the kid for life again. either way, he’s making sure they know they’ve got options, and that he (and papyrus and asgore and all their friends) are behind them 100 percent.

but until then, he’s got this. his brother, these photos, a mug with a lame pun, and the warm feeling that he might actually be doing something right for once.

[ask-serious-sans]

PTA Reader (Platonic!Reader and PTA Sans) Part 22

Summary: In which Linda has another one of her 'excellent' ideas.

"-And that's why I think we should have a Haunted House event at the school." "Linda, it's the middle of February." Linda ignored Sans' comment. "It's a bit short notice, I know, but I think we could decorate a few classrooms in the span of a few hours if we all work together." "What do you mean, 'short notice'?" you ask, already dreading the reply. After all, Sans was right- it was nowhere near Halloween. "I may have already printed out flyers and posted them around town." Linda replied off-handedly, as if this was completely normal. Then again, it kind of was for her. "When is this Haunted House supposed to open?" you ask, holding your forehead in your hands. "Friday," Linda replied cheerfully. "This Friday?" you inquire, tone full of disbelief. Linda nodded, smiling as if she hadn't just announced, with less than a week of notice, that the PTA was going to be hosting a Haunted House event. "Let me get this straight," one of the teachers spoke up, "you're giving us three days to put together a Haunted House. Do you even have any decorations prepared, or do we need to make those too? And how are we going to get people to act in the Haunted House? No one's going to agree to that on such short notice!" "Fortunately, that won't be a problem. I'm sure the monsters will help out." Linda replied, completely ignoring the other questions. Sans frowned. "What exactly are you expecting us monsters to help out with?" "You know, being the creepy monsters that 'haunt' the classrooms." Linda explained. "Anyway-" "They are not creepy!" you all-but-shouted, furious at the insult directed at your friends. "Whatever." Linda didn't appear particularly concerned by your outburst, just a bit annoyed at being interrupted. "As I was saying-" "What makes you think we'll agree to help you when you insult us like that?" Sans pointed out. "You and that tall, loud skeleton can be in the science classroom. Like deceased mad scientists that returned to finish their incomplete experiments or something," Linda continued, ignoring Sans completely. She also didn't seem to note Sans' expression growing especially irritated by her suggestion. You didn't know why, but it seemed her idea had struck a nerve. "We are not doing that." Sans said coldly. "Yes you are, for the good of the Haunted House-" "We are not doing that." The temperature in the room seemed to have dropped ten degrees in an instant, and Sans' generally bright eye lights were completely gone. "Or you can just be those plastic skeletons that teachers use to teach children the names of all the bones," Linda suggested hastily, looking slightly terrified. An instant later, Sans was back to normal, acting like nothing had happened. "Heh, sure. That could be humerus." This reaction appeared not to lessen Linda's fear in the slightest. "Tibia honest, I agree," you added, trying to ease the tension in the room. By now, most of the other occupants of the room had more or less relaxed, but Linda was quite obviously avoiding looking in Sans' direction. The fact she didn't even scowl at you when you made a pun spoke volumes. This was already off to a concerning start. You could only imagine how much worse preparations for this Haunted House were going to get. At least Linda had the sense not to suggest any other monsters for roles in the event for the remainder of the meeting. Instead, she spent the time organizing everyone into groups to prepare decorations and decorate classrooms. A riot almost started when Linda insisted everyone meet up the next day, since most of the members already had plans. She eventually managed to guilt almost everyone into coming, by claiming the Haunted House would reflect on the PTA as a whole so it had to be perfect. You bit back a comment on how she shouldn't have given everyone less than a week of notice if she wanted perfection, but just barely. It wasn't like it would do any good at this point, anyway. If she'd already put up the fliers, they couldn't push back the Haunted House's opening.

The monsters had been surprisingly receptive to the idea of helping out with the Haunted House- though you had a feeling Linda calling them creepy hadn't made it's way into the conversation- and many had even agreed to help the PTA set everything up. You weren't sure how Linda was going to explain to the rest of the school's staff why there were fake cobwebs strewn throughout the school in February, but that wasn't your problem. So, you, a few parents and teachers, and some of the monsters were now decorating the auditorium under Mettaton's directions. Mettaton had claimed this room as his and Napstablook's domain, not that anyone had actually tried to challenge it. Apparently, Mettaton had talked Napstablook into putting on a literal rendition of 'the Phantom of the Opera' which you doubted would be scary, but would certainly be entertaining. Muffet had offered to 'haunt' the Cafeteria and hand out spider pastries. Linda had looked like she wanted to argue, but when she realized how helpful and efficient Muffet's spider friends were at hanging decorations, she decided it was a fair price to pay for having the Haunted House ready on time. Even so, everyone was still working on Friday afternoon to put the finishing touches on the 'haunted' rooms. It wasn't until a half hour before the first opening of the Haunted House to the public that Linda finally announced everything was finished. This was a relief to the entire set-up crew, all of whom had spent many hours in the past few days being yelled at by Linda as she tried to direct them in putting the decorations up. Even you, while used to being yelled at during PTA meetings, thought she was going overboard with the shouting. Someone had jokingly suggested Linda play a role in the Haunted House as a banshee. Linda had been furious, but hadn't been able to yell at them about it since it would just prove their point, so she'd resorted to silently fuming. You had somehow been convinced to guide the children from room to room, and Linda insisted you try to make everything seem scarier, since the monsters were all quite friendly. However, you thought it would be a lot more interesting to have a friendly Haunted House than a scary one, though you didn't say that aloud, figuring Linda would just yell at you again. When everyone was in their places, Linda led a group of children over to where you waited at the school's entrance. "Hello, everyone," you told the kids, smiling. "Be scarier," Linda instructed you. "Sorry. Hello, everyone," you repeated in what you hoped was an ominous tone. Frisk, who was among the group of children, burst out laughing. "In my defense, I had no practice," you explained. "You're not supposed to tell them that! Now start the tour, and be scarier!" Linda hissed at you, though you were relatively certain all the children could hear her. "Alright," you shrugged. "Follow me," you added to the children, attempting your ominous tone again. Frisk stifled more laughter. "I know, I know, I'm not ominous at all," you laughed. "Would you like to give it a shot?" Frisk seemed to have a relatively lengthy mental debate, before smiling victoriously. A few moments later, they spoke in a tone infinitely more ominous than your own, "Follow me." Impressed, you grinned, "You should lead the tour instead of me! Then again, I'd have to ruin the mood by telling you what to say..." "Will you just get on with the tour already," Linda glared at you. "Right, come on," you agreed, leading the children down a hallway towards the first room. The first stop was the science classroom, where Sans and Papyrus were waiting, pretending to be plastic model skeletons. As you opened the door and the children filed into the classroom, you began the tale of the first room. "In a science classroom seemingly like any other, there are two model skeletons. They wait motionless during the day, but after sunset..." Here, you paused as Sans and Papyrus started making subtle movements. The children quickly noticed, a few of them shrieking in surprise. "...They awaken and begin to roam the classroom." Sans and Papyrus wandered around the classroom obligingly. "The skeletons look for living beings..." Sans began slowly approaching the group, causing a few children to stumble backwards or cower together, but Frisk actually stepped closer. As Sans ruffled Frisk's hair, you finished the story, "...Because they're actually quite bonely!" Sans chuckled while Papyrus facepalmed. "HUMAN, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO MAKE A PUN! YOU RUINED OUR ENTIRE ACT!" All the children, even those who had initially been frightened, laughed. You grinned, happy to see your idea had worked. "And now it is time to move on to the next stop," you said, and Sans and Papyrus waved as you led the children back out of the classroom. Several children waved back. Next was the auditorium, and as soon as the doors leading to it could be seen at the end of the hallway you began speaking again. "In the auditorium, it is said, that once, long ago, a performance of 'The Phantom of the Opera' was held. All was going well until one of the actors tripped onstage, breaking their leg. From that point on, the performance was cursed- anytime a group attempted to perform 'The Phantom of the Opera' on that stage, someone would trip and injure themselves. Now the only ones who attempt the performance here..." you dramatically flung the doors open before continuing, "...Are the phantoms themselves." On stage, a single spotlight shone on Mettaton. Soon, he was joined by Napstablook, although the shy ghost left most of the acting to Mettaton. Not that Mettaton seemed to mind; you had a feeling he'd intended for this to happen, and that his participation in this Haunted House had mainly just been an excuse to perform in front of an audience. When Mettaton was eventually finished, you led the children in a round of applause. While Mettaton enthusiastically thanked them for being a wonderful audience, Napstablook shyly floated backstage. Then, the children chatted excitedly about the performance while you led them to the Cafeteria, growing silent again only when you began to speak. "Now, are you all hungry for a snack?" "Yes!" the children chorused. "Excellent," you replied. "The spiders are always happy to share their food." Entering the Cafeteria revealed Muffet and an army of spiders waiting, the room literally covered in cobwebs. "Ahuhuhu~" Muffet smiled, "Welcome! We have plenty of spider pastries for you to sample~ Made by spiders, for spiders... and of spiders!" Several children glanced at you uncertainly, and you smiled and nodded encouragingly at them. Plates of spider pastries waited on the tables, in an impressive display of flavors. Frisk made a beeline towards a plate of chocolate pastries. "Ahuhuhu~ I didn't know you liked chocolate so much," Muffet said. "I'll make chocolate pastries for you more often." "Sweet! Thanks," Frisk replied, though their tone was slightly different than normal. You decided not to think much of it, and were soon distracted by the other children, who after watching Frisk eat a spider pastry without issue had determined the treats safe to consume and quickly gathered around the tables. Once everyone was ready to continue, you led them out of the Cafeteria and to the gym. Various monsters waited inside the gym, where they would be playing a game of basketball. Undyne and Alphys were the captains of the teams. "In the gym, every evening, gather two teams, cursed for eternity to face each other in a game of basketball. The two teams once faced each other during a World Cup, each certain they would be the victors. However, the game ended in a draw. The teams challenged each other to a rematch, with the same result. Now they continue these rematches, until one team wins. Both teams play with equal skill, and the games are doomed to always end in a tie. Thus, they will never be free from the endless rematches..." The monsters played a short game of basketball for the children to watch, with the game ending in a tie and all the monsters feigning exhaustion and annoyance as they left the court afterwards. To your amazement, several of the children looked like they felt bad for them. Perhaps you had made the 'backstory' too sad? Well, it was too late to change it now. "Is everyone ready for the final location on our tour?" you asked, hoping to cheer the children up or at least distract them. Nods followed your statement, and you led the children back outside of the school, over to an area of the lawn where Asgore and Toriel were tending to some plants. Asgore seemed to be trimming a bush into the shape of a skull. You hoped he had gotten permission to do that beforehand. "Two gardeners have been working at this school for centuries," you began. "They leave messages for those who see their work within the symbolism of the flowers they choose to plant, and the shapes into which they trim the bushes-" "Is... Is someone gonna die? That's a skull!" one of the children cried, pointing nervously at the bush. Asgore looked back sheepishly. "No, not at all!" you said hastily, "In fact, the skull is one of the best symbols you can find! It symbolizes happiness and peace." Hopefully their Language Arts teachers wouldn't get mad at you over this. You could just imagine the children writing something like that in an essay... Oh well, at least they all seemed happy now. "Um, where was I? Oh, right. The current flowers symbolize friendship and luck..." Once the children had a chance to examine the small garden, you led them back to the entrance of the school. Linda was waiting there impatiently. "What took so long?" she demanded when the group reached her. "Uh... What do you mean?" you asked, confused. The tour had taken less than an hour, so you weren't sure why she was complaining. "Never mind." Linda huffed irritably. "Well, was it a success?" The children all cheered loudly, most adding a comment about how cool the monsters were. This made Linda scowl, and you grin. "The monsters were supposed to scare them!" Linda told you angrily, to which you shrugged. "I bet you made the stories less scary on purpose!" Linda insinuated in a tone only slightly quieter than a yell, glaring at you. "You ruined my Haunted House!!" "Ahhh! It's a banshee!" one of the children, though you couldn't tell which, shouted. Instantly, many of the children began echoing the claim, pointing at Linda. Linda sent you a withering glare, and you couldn't help but laugh. "Did you put them up to this?" Linda shrieked at you, only adding fuel to the children's shouts. "No," you replied between bouts of laughter. Linda didn't seem to believe you, but getting to witness this was certainly worth earning her ire.

[msmkcreates]

Love your work! I've been following for a long time, but I'm a lurker more than anything. I was re-reading your SSIYC series and fell in love with your Underkin characters from chapter 36. I'm wondering though, what would the brothers "type of lady" be?

I’m so glad?? You asked?? Nobody asks about my AU and it makes me so happy UwU

Both brothers really have to have a person who is good with kids. If they don’t get along with Serif, it’s an absolute hard NO from them–Serif knows this, too, so she is extremely vocal when she doesn’t like people.

Bro (UK!Sans)

Sense of humor a must–tolerance for bad dad jokes necessary.

Loves a brain–doesn’t have to be traditionally book-smart, but rather he loves when somebody has the intelligence to think for themselves. Maybe you’ve memorized and analyzed every episode of FRIENDS, hey, that’s a form of intelligence! As long as there isn’t cotton between your ears and he can have an interesting conversation with you, on whatever subject, he likes that.

He likes subdued personalities, people who wouldn’t want to pick a fight–he’s a pacifist himself, and always tired from his many jobs, so if you’re confrontational by nature it won’t be worth it to him. That isn’t to say you should be a doormat, but Russ already gets on him about the socks–you don’t need to, too.

If he had to pick a description, he prefers dark, long hair, though he loves all hair colors and lengths. He just likes having something to run his hands through. He also loves all body shapes but particularly short, plump mates–he likes the size difference, and loves the cute little butt and thighs.

Hesitant to date after his late datemate passed–if you want to romance him you’ll have to be incredibly patient with him while he heals.

Russ (UK!Papyrus)

Enthusiasm required! He is looking for somebody who can keep up with him, his busy schedule, and his incessant need to cheer at each and every one of Serif’s recitals and games.

He likes a self-assured datemate who can trust him, because he’s out doing PTA stuff a lot and doesn’t want them lonely or sad–but he isn’t against working with a datemate to overcome negative emotions either! Although if you just join him at the bake sale, he thinks the problem will be solved.

He’s a bit sassy, so he hopes you won’t take offense to things he says. But please, honesty is the best policy–if he does upset you, make sure he knows so he can apologize properly!

He likes energetic people of all shapes and sizes, but if he had to pick he supposed he would want a redhead, or brunette. He loves all hair colors, though, and thinks short hair is adorable on women! He doesn’t care what your body type is, so long as you are healthy or trying to be.

[sansy-fresh]

an in depth look at my trash tornado of a fic plan

i like doing these every so often as fic plans change and new things are added. this’ll be under the cut for a shit ton of words and lists and shit idk just look if you wanna know future plans that i may or may not ever get around to actually writing

Oneshots

so with this, usually i just write a oneshot as the idea comes, but i have an actual list of shit i want to eventually write. here is that list

-Some kind of Swapfell Sansby situation, either platonic or romantic, I just need the two of them interacting -Fell Papby, antagonistic and wild, enemies to lovers kinda shit -Fell being the one hurt in hurt/comfort variety fics (especially spicyhoney) -Fell Muffyrus, antagonistic and yet, oddly domestic -Swell Muffyrus, sweet and yet oddly dangerous -More domestic shit in general -Copper and Fale Muffet interacting -Fale Alphys -Fale Undyne -Fale platonic Paphys -More Swapfell Bros being bros -Some kind of hate/love situation, where the two characters hate that they love each other (spicypear and/or spicycash and/or fell papby) -Portugal being genderfluid and everything that comes with that -Portugal and Cash having a Talk -Copper and Portugal meeting -Copper dealing with misgendering -Undyrus, just more platonic Undyrus I need it -Fell Undyrus -Swap Undyrus -Swell Undyrus -Cash Undyrus -Portugal meeting SwapDyne -Platonic collaring from a “strong” to a “weak”, especially if the “weak” is completely confused but goes with it because it makes the “strong” feel better -Edge and Portugal having a cooking contest; it’s full of salt -Portugal and Virgil interacting -Grillcest with Tale/Fell and Swap/Tale -Bara Fell -Portugal’s brother -More of Portugal’s universe -Papyrus being super snarky and sarcastic (PTA AU?) -coterietale? coterieswap? coterieswell???? -vampire shit -more /readers, all the /readers

Current Ongoing Fics

this is fics i already have going, but need to work further on

-A Silver Chain- 6 chapters written - 6,758 words (will probably be another 5-10 chapters) -Little Fangs- 4 chapters written - 4,305 words (i have no idea how long this one will end up being) -Moral Compass- 4 chapters written - 3,952 words (same with this one but i would guess itll be around 25 chapters total) -Razzle Dazzle- 1 chapter written - 1,006 words (probably around 30-ish chapters total) -Glittering Stars- 1 chapter written - 1,186 words (i honestly have no idea when im coming back to this one) -Sparks and Wires- 3 chapters written - 3,280 words (this is a “when i get to it” fic) -Hold Myself Together- 1 chapter written - 1,045 words (im hoping to actually finish this one before posting it) -Nontypical- 1 part written - 707 words (a series of oneshots, so it updates when it updates)

Commissions 

as it turns out im really slow with commissions (im really grateful to the people that comm me, theyre really patient and i am super appreciative, love you all)

-a oneshot commission of kedgeup

-a oneshot commission of the next part of Gran and the Big Bad Wolves

-2 more chapters of MC

-1 more chapter of LF

Long Fic Ideas

these vary in projected length and content (spoilers)

-Portugal as vampire hunter, Sunshine is the vampire he’s hunting (oneshots probably) -Sans, Papyrus and Gaster are all brothers, Gaster is middle brother (from birth to barrier falling) -Fagan gets and takes care of Gregory (15 chapters at most) -Sansy and Edgy and their anxious new owner (who knows) -Fell gets pregnant from a night with Stretch, decides not to tell him (maybe 20 chapters) -Segregated Bledgeup, lots of angst (maybe 20 chapters) -Trav gets some specialty bitties (who knows) -Marian gets some bitties (who knows, hopefully a lot) -some kind of Papyrus/Reader fic (no idea yet, up in the air)