#I STILL havent figured out how i like to draw him but a concept for u

[toytulini]

if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.

[eliasdrid]

on the topic of SAYER, suddenly I imagined resident Hale getting some grey hair due to stress (like Johnathan Harker from Dracula) and that'd be a good design choice for him, I think

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can you please do TADC crew finding out little kid reader looks up to them

It's okay if it takes a while I just like found family type shenanigans

Role models (TADC cast x kid!reader) (platonic)

RUNS AROUND

Again I apologize if I dont answer many requests today, I think I may be sick

Or I have HELLA allergies rn

Regardless I feel not the best so uhuh

I see yalls requests I'm just a eepy guy today

OH ALSO ALSO I had a similar request with just jax so I'm paring these two up since it's the same concept! Hope that's alright with you two anons!

CAINE:

When he finds out hes going to brat about hes a dad/older brother/guardian to everyone who will listen.

"As a parental figure..." type shit before trying to do something for your own good

Gives you your own lil cane to match his, maybe does matching outfits with you

Probably calls you mini me if you start mimicking his behaviors and mannerisms.. very silly

POMNI:

A little confused, honestly! While zooble is vaguely annoyed by kids, pomni is vaguely uncomfortable around them. I mean, kids can be just so brutal, and lack filters, and and-! Did you just call her sis?

She kind of just goes. Still. Shes torn

Does she let you call her that or does she stamp it out now?

...

I think she would let you call her sis, she doesnt have the heart to break yours

Not many ideas here, shes visibly awkward around you at first, whether you notice is up to you, but she slowly eases into it and takes the older sibling role in stride

RAGATHA:

I've said it so many times but ragatha absolutely exudes older sister energy. So shes already a natural before you're even calling her the nickname. Is so touched that you look up to her and feel safe around her. Thats her whole thing, keep up everyones optimism (and also perhaps, by extension, her own). Likes making you lil stuffed animals

JAX:

At first he doesnt notice that you're copying him and mimicking his behaviors; from badly executed pranks to stamping your foot in mock frustration, you're copying jax down to a T... or at least, as best as you can, given you havent mastered the art of being a prankster asshole. But not to worry, jax is gonna take you under his wing. Double trouble. Chaos². Teaches you how to actually land your pranks. Sometimes uses you as "bait" to lure people in. Menaces...

KINGER:

Kinger is like a mix of caine and ragatha, I think. Kinger gives me dad vibes that I cant white explain, and no it's not just because of his age... said it a few times but he tells embellished stories to you.. noooo cuz imagine if you try to fit into the royal aesthetic with him, be it with you as a prince/princess or as a knight or whatever. I think that would be adorable. Takes you out to hunt for bugs and tucks you in a night with a story

As for how he feels about you looking up to him he would be so so honored, also does the "as a dad" thing like caine

Very silly

ZOOBLE:

I think Zooble would find kids annoying, but they're not going to go out of their way to be mean to a kid. Think tired older sibling with attitude. Now when zooble finds out you look up to them, it gives them pause. Them? I mean it's raretthat they hang out with you one on one, actually it's rare that they hang out with anyone one on one... honestly I think this just feeds the older sibling thing. Probably teaches you some sass as a bonding thing. Not much to be said. Zooble is just not too open to getting close to others <\3

"Haha someones getting chased...Wait that's my kid!!!" When you get caught up in something in a IHA, attempts to rescue you

GANGLE:

She finds out when you two are drawing together! Kids like art, right? If not she had the stuff to do arts and crafts! Imagine she finds out because you make a drawing of her, with it labeling her as the best. Oh this poor girl her little heart, shes crying! Not sad tears, dont worry, she just finds it adorable is all! Though I dont think the dynamic between you two would change much

[inkyxsmiles]

Billford AU

Haven't really thought much of the AUS that include Billford in them, but I love the concepts. A concept I have though is quite interesting and the opposite of all the Billford aus. It goes like 30 years ago, when Ford met Bill..Bill was no villain- he was just generally a sweet guy who just wanted to provide his friends with an actual home, and wanted someone to love him. So Ford and Bill worked on the portal together, and Bill did most of the work because he wanted a better life for his henchmaniacs and a new home. But after the project, Ford and Bill got together more often- and Bills henchmaniacs would roam around Gravity Falls freely. Sometimes visiting Bill, and going to the shack to prank Ford or to watch movies together. Meanwhile Ford starts actually asking Bill many things and asks him help for some projects (along with his journals). But Ford also sometimes argues with him, and Bill is just not really doing anything wrong...it's just Ford getting mad at him for doing a mistake or accidentally messing something up. Or being too drained out or tired to finish his work. And although they still both care for eachother, Ford just half of the time would take him for granted, and Bill wouldn't even mind..yeah he would be stressed and burnt out because of it, but he didnt bother to argue back to Ford cause he loves him. And he just wanted to be accepted and loved by him, so he would try to please Ford. Until suddenly, either an accident, a illness, or a type of creature kills Bill, And Ford immediately regrets everything he said to Bill back then. Their arguments and how he'd sometimes use Bill to do his work. He regretted everything so badly, and just COULDNT let go of Bill even though he's dead. Visiting his grave like every 2 hours, and weeping for hours on end about his death. Probably Ford lost his mind too..and can't hide his guilt about everything he did to Bill. (STILL I HAVENT FIGURED OUT EVERYTHING, BUT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A PRETTY SAD AU FOR BILLFORD.)

Tell me your thoughts about this AU, GO WILD WITH IDEAS TOO, DRAW THINGS, WRITE THINGS. GO CRAZY MY BILLFORD ANGST MINIONS!

[star-ts-farts]

absolutely obsessed with your Motorcity art you Get those guys so good

EXPLODES AOOWOIW GGRRRR THANK YOU SO MUCH

I love them so much ( it breaks my heart that i haven't been able to draw them anywhere near as much as i want to)

Sorry for replying so late, i wanted to have more to show you. but I'll show you these. alot of old/unfinished stuff

My motorsona!!! with the expressions and head turn around (minus the side views 😬, oopise I forgor)

it was hard to get it to look like the style. Cuz theres like 2 fat characters and not single character with defined textured hair. So it took a while to figure out how to make my curly hair, but i did what i could. And i think it turned out hella :D

Dont have the first rough sketches on hand, but this is when i finally settled on the final body/face design and got to design outfits

I had this bit about the Duke of Detroit. I get it's his stage name, but what if it actually was a title that could be passed on, and someone else could be the Duke( the motorcitizens vote on it cuz theyre sick of his ass). I didn't wanna put them in the exact outfit, but I wanted to stick to the same color palette and duke's kinda gaudy opulent vibe. (Mostly an excuse to design an outfit)

now for assorted doodles

still working on these outfit concepts that are based off their cars (havent even started on most of them!!!!) also soul eater :DD

This is my idea for a nightmare sequence

eeeh friggin, mutt and mikey are driving through a field of singing flowers. Very cutesy 1920s cartoon style. then they run over something, mike goes to see what it is and finds his own body all mangled and crap (but the corpse him is in a style more akin to the show's). lil rubberhose mikey is frozen in fear and then the mangled body starts contorting it's form to get up off the floor as best it can and lunges towards cartoon mikey. starts eating him or some shit. something something the past still haunts him

[socksandbuttons]

Bestie...us this to ramble about anything you like.

I'm tired but I want you to be happy.

OKAY SO u only have the full context but i get to ramble ALL I WANT AS U SAID SOOOO Im working on an au's design that i told you about. so far silhoutttes good i LOVE THEM. dying at this one concept CAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH HAVENT SEEN IT YET BUT SORT OF BUT NOT ENTIRELY. Anyway design wise 3/5 look good! i can work with them (its colors per usual bestie as u KNOW) the other two look too much like Vamp lunar and of eachother and im like ... i need to fix this cause vvamp lunar different (did u know i fleetingly considered using him for this??? i decided against it i like making new things) THEN THEN THERES MY OWN PIZZAPLEX AU which i havent touched in a while but i rmabled enough about it to you but i never showed off the thing i was doing about that. SUN!LUNAR AU PLAGUES ME ONCE A WHILE. BUT I DONT TALK ENOUGH ABOUT HIM. Love me some Solar vibing with his new bro and not having a crisis about the other two. Whomst are still having issues (I will remind u all that NICE ECLIPSE'S MOON was something he was also trying to save. That it wasn't verbal abuse until the more recent episodes when they reintroduced how his world is. Makes a good reason for Solar to leave tho.) My au's Moon has bad mood swings. Does Bloodmoon Exist? No. Does KC? No. Could they? KC can't anylonger unless they legit kept that code but i doubt that. (Due to Moon literally wanting it out. Solar not wanting to put him thru that ordeal and knowing it wont work in getting his moon back.) Bloodmoon was only made when Eclipse wanted OUT for realsies. Vs Solar and Sun may have been switching but nothing that opted violence for an answer. Just mistakes that they didnt realize would happen. Sun!Lunar literally being a result of trying to put code back in but just making a New Person instead. So they continue to find a way to help Sun (Solar just... desperately not trying to think about how unlikely that could be) OH YEAH REMEMBER WHEN MOON PROMISED TO FIX SOLARS STAR AND HIS MOON AND SUN??? YEAH??? well rip that that. We aint gonna think about that. what else can i ramble about POKEMON AU WHERE U HAVENT SEEN IN A WHILE BUT SOLAR FLARE... I FINALLY... FIGURED OUT HOW I WANNA DRAW/DESIGN HIM LOL Space AU i cant recall what ive shared ever. But Love me some thinking about how theyre made and their differences. Lots of cute ship stuff. Yes I forget to share those. Theres more bean au stuff i was thinking over too like when bloodmoon comes in. I definitely wanna think about his like... whole thing about trust and death and instance on not being a tool. Its partly why he doesnt get along well with Eclipse (Someone to put the aggression onto vs killcode who in this au actually still calls him son, Lunar this time round since NOT a hostage a better reception. Sun still has a panic attack. yknow i remembered solar WOULD actually exist.... one thing at a time i need to make a list of things here and there.)

[butterscotch-brigade]

actually fuck it ik literally no one asked but here r some concepts for the fucked up roommates au aka scourge and fiona become roomies w surge and kit (mostly just some background info on how the wound up in the idwverse + the characters relationships/dynamics w each other)

so BASICALLY im thinking that the super genesis wave that forced the archie comics to reboot didnt actually DESTROY the multiverse, or at least not all of it; but it did cause the multiverse to shatter, and for certain characters to get scattered around and wind up in universes that r not their own. but ofc, scourge and fiona are used to this. what theyre NOT used to is not being in control of their own dimension-hopping and being unable to get back, especially since their homeworld as they knew it was essentially destroyed. they have nowhere else to go and just wander around trying to figure out where they are. ofc, when they find out that sonic exists in this world too, they become EXTREMELY annoyed. scourge in particular wants revenge, and if he cant have revenge on archie!sonic, he may as well have revenge on this worlds sonic.

thats when they somehow stumble across surge and kit (havent figured out how exactly they meet yet lol) and quickly find out they share the same goal. they actually get into a fight at first, but end up having to call it a draw due to their similar strengths. they eventually get to talking abt how much they fucking hate sonic and this leads to them deciding to team up--for now.

surge is, at first, frustrated to learn that theres another sonic. but ofc, when he tells her abt his world and what hes trying to accomplish, she realizes how similar they are and agrees to form a team w him. theyre basically frienemies and each of them plans to betray the other at some point since they each want to be the one to kill sonic, but for now theyre making ends meet. meanwhile, surge and fiona have kind of a weird flirty thing going on. at first, surge isnt sure how to respond to fiona flirting with her, since thats never happened to her before, but she quickly starts to return the flirting simply bc it pisses scourge off. this has lead to her and scourge getting into more than a few fights, but it never escalates to anything super devastating....at least, not yet it hasnt.

scourge, as i said before, is primarily motivated by revenge. he knows he most likely wont be able to return to his homeworld, or the world that archie!sonic comes from, so hes decided to make lemons into lemonade and try a fresh start w a new quest for power. he respects surge’s abilities and thinks its hilarious how she almost killed sonic. he sees her as a powerful ally, even if, again, he plans on betraying her once he gets close to killing sonic. it pisses him off how she and fiona flirt with each other tho, but fiona assures him its just teasing and that shes still loyal to him. he mostly ignores kit, seeing him as a doormat who just happens to have a very useful power. he knows not to mess w him in front of surge, and mostly just talks to her abt anything he might want kit to know. he doesnt see kit as being as important as surge and views him more as an asset than anything else.

fiona is fascinated by this new world and, like scourge, wants an opportunity to try again at the whole “taking over the multiverse” thing. shes largely amused by surge and kit as a group, but has different opinions on each of them individually. she flirts with surge mostly bc she likes to make scourge jealous (bc shes a toxic girlboss and likes when hes possessive over her), but she would be lying if she said she didnt have at least some romantic interest in her. but she assures scourge that shes still loyal, and she has no plans to actually act on her interest in surge beyond playful teasing. kit, however, she is the most amused by. she likes to bully him (behind surges back ofc) bc he reminds her of tails--or, at least, her universe’s version of tails, when she knew him. she often calls him things like “twerp” and “brat” and talks down to him. she knows kit wont tell on her bc he doesnt want to ruin the alliance bc its important to surge, and she exploits that. unknown to surge and kit, shes been trying to search for the rest of the destructix, but she hasnt had any luck in finding them; its currently unknown whether they even survived the super genesis wave, let alone wound up in the same universe as them.

kit does not like scourge and fiona, but bc surge doesnt seem to mind them, he ofc does nothing abt his dislike of them bc he doesnt want to disappoint surge. hes better at brushing off scourge’s treatment of him bc he doesnt go out of his way to bully him like fiona does. hes especially nervous abt fiona, but he again wont tell surge abt her behavior bc he knows surge is romantically interested in her. overall he distrusts scourge and fiona heavily, but bc he trusts surge more than anyone else in the world, he puts his faith in her, does what she says, and tries his best to toughen up and ignore their rudeness. poor kit is just kind of the doormat of the group unfortunately :(

[roenais]

doll grian ask masterpost! i get a lot of these apparently good lord

ofc, i didn't come up with the concept! no need to credit it to me or anything, in fact to me it isnt an au, that's just how i draw grian in general lmAO.

amsmkkeg yeah its such a funny concept to me. i like to think that he's always somewhat aware of where they are, so many other hermits have had the experience of trying to prank him by moving a spare body only to be jumpscared when he interrupts them.

pov you havent seen your somewhat brother-figure since he became a god. you find out he's been active on a different server for the past few years. you join the server. he's a marketable plushie. i think she'd be halfway between confused and finding it hilarious.

...though if you want a somber moment, i like to think that at some point early into boatems construction then sat down together on a quiet night and talked about it. just chilling out discussing the fallout of evo and what theyve been up to since. whether he misses his humanity. yknow.

l.. .like a light switch? girl help i dont know what that is but i am intrigued.

aw im glad! that makes me happy, glad he likes :)

the desperate phrasing on this is killing me. i'll canonize it for you. he's too big for build a bear clothes but he'll make it work.

i wouldnt think so! the only reason he can possess a doll in my headcanon is because it's inanimate. it's less possession and more like very advanced puppetry smfmekg.

that being said, he could probably abandon his body and still be able to knock things over like a petty cat. or place wither building blocks to terrify mumbo. casual menace things.

this image is hilarious im laughing so hard. fly grian fly.

gem: wait so he's just a plushie?? that talks and builds?? and that counts as a player???

scar: you get used to it remarkably fast!

pearl: well to be fair he was a regular player once

scar:

scar: he was what

grian plays along for the sole purpose of jumpscaring scar into lava lets be real. he absolutely would.

[wickedpact]

Crim pls do a J/N fic rec post at some point in the future I trust you more than I trust myself looking rouge through AO3

im kinda eh abt the concept of fic recs myself just bc the whole 'Different Strokes For Different Folks' thing (idk how many times someone i liked in a fandom made a fic rec list and i ended up not liking anything they posted). plus i have weirdly specific tastes and i.. .. honestly havent read a ton of joenicky fic! (i have a FAT to-read list) but ive been asked this a couple times now so i will slap together a couple joenicky fics i like (not comprehensive, i only spent like 15 minutes making this. also not in any particular order.)

Kiss Each Other Clean by moodlighting

i like this whole fic, but the last 6 or so paragraphs in particular SEND ME TO SPACE, i love cuddling. also [joe voice] nickel neekee

what you seek is seeking you by bankrobbery

i actually recced this one once before. idk its cute i just Like It. (also nicky pretending not to know english bc a customer is pissing him off is Very Funny and i love it)

with every inch of my heart by smilebackwards

i like this one a lot, i think nickys pov should Always be this tender. i dont like miscommunication trope much, (esp with joenicky) but i do like this fic-- the miscommunication in question is far-fetched but its joenicky so of course it is. just enjoy the Angst™

i love michelangelo seeing nicky all dirty and bloody after a fight and being like 'DAMN this bitch is fine' (same). (AND the fact that nicky only agrees to travel with him in the name of wasting the pope's money lmao). the fact that joe and nicky broke up But They Still Snuggle. nile knowing like 2 things about joe and nicky's breakup & pretty much immediately taking nicky's side. joe looking at the creation of adam and bein like 'EH'.

nicky carrying around his little joe drawing? nicky carrying around a spare toothbrush for booker? nicky telling little children stories about a princess locked in a coffin under the sea? ('perhaps someday, if an iron coffin is caught in a net or washed up onto the shore, they’ll remember the princess, a victim and not a monster' EXCUSE ME)

(also 'I have drawn you a thousand times since we parted. I sculpted your likeness, just so that I could pretend to cup your cheek. You are so much warmer than marble, hayati.' R O M A N C E)

Pas Un Ange by inlovewithnight

there are a lot of fics i love in a way thats like 'this fic is fun but it doesnt feel like something that would happen in the Actual Canon' (which is fine!) but this one Does feel like it could happen in The Actual Canon which is cool

this fic also has probably my favorite depiction of nicky's relationship with god/religion in any fic ive read ('[nicky's] peace had come only after walking away from faith as a competition of intensity in favor of faith as a steady compass that he followed like the beat of his heart in his chest.'). i love the whole Drama played out by the background characters and how they all have their own ideas and motivations & nicky is just kind of resigned to being caught in the middle of it.

(also love how near the beginning joe's like 'the Right thing to do in the situation would be stay at this river and help these people.... ... ....... ... .... ... anyways see ya guys later gotta go find nicky'.)

also joe chatting up a pig and the five minutes later chatting up some goats was so cute. & nicky trying to tell the baby's mother how to save it!!!! </3 AND THEY ARGUE ABOUT CHARITY on the way home (not before joe injects a comment abt nickys ass into regular conversation bc Romance™) its a bit of a sad fic tho, that poor baby 🥺

Intercession by PrincessDesire

can i interest you in some Swamp Man Nicky in this trying time?

someone recced this fic to me and i dont remember who. but note that the major character death tag is not, in fact, for a major character but for a background one. neither joe or nicky perma!die in this. also normally i dont like fics where joe or nicky are bi bc Thats Not Canon Babey but i do like this one, i love joe's relationship with Grace and how nicky's perception of that relationship gets flipped on its head halfway thru the fic. i also love joe's Weariness Of Immortality, like when joe talks about how 'youthful' nicky makes him feel. his pov just kind of Feels like an old man and i like it

theres a smut scene in this fic which im personally not big on smut scenes but theres this bit where joe tries to figure out condoms and its very cute. also 'You have many kinds of magic, Nicky. All your spells have worked.' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

also i just like how WHIPPED joe is from like the first 3 seconds he sees nicky. theres one bit where nicky's like 'ill come visit you!' and joe's like 'when🥺' and nicky's like 'as soon as you like!' and joes like 'now?????🥺🥺🥺 literally come home with me???' incredible.

also the Magic System was cool. i also love how nicky just Accidentally made himself immortal. what a man. also i like this line 'it would never occur to [nicky] to attend any service that wasn’t going to have a direct outcome. Grace takes comfort from it, so maybe that’s the only outcome needed.' idk its so sweet

edit: also i cant believe i forgot the iconic line 'Yusuf is a man of two minds, one large and underutilized, the other small and underutilized.' absolutely iconic & relatable

[illfoandillfie]

ok sorry but how many people do yall think rog has ever slept with cos i’m guessing four figures no lie

okay, i don’t normally respond to messages like this because, frankly, i dont really feel like its my place to speculate on roger’s sex life. Theres a difference between writing a fiction story with a character named after and inspired by him and discussing his actual personal life which i have no real knowledge about. What he gets up to in his free time is between him and the women he does it with. but i didn’t really feel able to ignore this one. please don’t take this as me telling you off or shutting you down or anything like that. If you want to speculate about roger’s body count thats up to you, go nuts with it. and i love when you guys message me and I don’t want to discourage you from feeling like you can talk to me or just send me your random thoughts or whatever about any subject. But I feel like I need to address why I disagree with this sentiment. Also so I can ask ya’ll to please stop asking me questions like this. 

So firstly, just to get this out of the way. 1000 is a lot. even 100 is a lot. I think if rog had slept with 1000+ people he’d have a least a few illegitimate kids and probably would have been checked into rehab for sex addiction (not to mention STIs and such because lbr people in the 70s specifically probs werent the most careful especially if drugs were involved). I mean even if we were going to say Rog got lucky with a different woman after every show we wouldn’t reach 1000. According to google, Queen played around 700 shows in their entire career. If we add shows played by The Cross thats only another 67 odd shows (according to wikipedia). 

now, i think there are 3 things that contribute to this idea of roger as especially promiscuous. 1. His attitude/demeanour/general way he sells himself. 2. the generally held conceptions about rock stars and rock star behaviour. and 3. what i’m going to call fandom dumbassery (but i mean that with a lot of love) 

So lets start with the man himself. Roger Taylor is loud and opinionated and not particularly humble. He knows he’s talented and attractive though for at least some time he was a little self-conscious about how feminine he looked. He’s always up for a laugh, likes to party and has admitted to enjoying his drink and his women. He’s had kids with two different women, who’s relationships “overlapped”, and is currently married to a third. At least that’s the perception we can gleam from his interviews, behind the scenes videos, and other public appearances. 

It’s easy to see how that image leads to accusations of being a womaniser and a cheater and basically a bit of a slut lmao. But here’s the thing. I think Roger, in part, markets himself that way. The thing is, if you look at his solo songs and the relationships he currently has with his kids and their mothers, and things other people have said about him/his relationships over the years, I think it’s fair to say he also has a bit of a romantic streak maybe? idk if thats the best way of describing it...he’s self confessed to not being a fan of marriage and the like but he’s not opposed to writing and singing love songs and seems to believe in ~love~ as a concept/power. He certainly cares deeply for those closest to him. Whether or not that translates to an agreement with monogamy I can’t say for certain. It’s hard to draw conclusions here because a lot of what we know of his personal life was fed to us through magazines and news paper gossip column articles and they were never looking for the truth, they were looking for scandal and sensationalism. 

For instance the whole thing with the overlapping relationships. I think most people who have read anything about roger and dom and debbie realise that it’s not as cut and dry as “he was cheating with debbie and left dom for her” even though that was the story being sold by the press at the time. The reality (or at least the version closer to reality since obviously no one outside of them and whoever they were closest with knows all the nitty gritty details) is that rog and dom had already split when they got married. it was a marriage of convenience to make sure her and the kids would be looked after financially etc even after he’d moved out. So while it looked to the public like he married one chick and 30 odd days later was spotted with another, there really wasn’t anything untoward happening.  I’m not saying he never had casual hookups or one night stands and i’m not saying he never cheated, but I do think some of it’s been exaggerated, whether by him to encourage the rock star perception or by newspaper/magazine articles.

Now, obviously, we have stories of rog, particularly in the late 60s and into the 70s, being with multiple women. There’s that bit in the Interview with a Queen “Groupie” (which is a fantastic read and i defs recommend checking it out if you havent already) where she talks about roger being a chick magnet and says that, at the time, it was pretty common to sleep about. But, she also says she didnt notice him doing it more or less than anyone else and seemed to mostly be with Jo (his girlfriend at the time). This is the same Jo that got a mention in the Queen in 3D book (”i think we all had the feeling that these two were together for life, but it was not to be”). Conversely, we have that quote (which i cannot find rn but i’ll link it when i do) about roger sometimes having one girl upstairs while another waited in the garage for them to be finished. I think it was about Rog in the mid-late 60s in Truro but whatever. Obviously he wasn’t anywhere near celibate and it’s likely was sleeping with people outside of his relationship(s). But one has to assume that as he got older those kinds of antics stopped happening, at least as frequently.

There is one potential story that I remember reading somewhere along the way about Roger cheating on Debbie while she was pregnant. But, take that with a grain of salt because I can’t find the article again and also I think it was from like The Sun or something equally as rubbish. The press was notoriously always printing mean shit about the boys and that might have been another thing they published to create scandal. Even so, if we assume it’s legit that is still only 1 story. Not to throw him under the bus but Brian is the one with multiple confirmed affairs, who literally wrote songs about it all. So why is Roger the one with sleazy reputation? 

This is where my second and third points come in. There is a pervasive idea about what it means to be a rock star. The whole trashing hotel rooms, sleeping with groupies, passing out drunk every night thing. And I’m sure that Queen was like that to an extent. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that all of them got up to shit on the road. Between innuendo laden interviews and songs, videos and accounts of their parties, stories CT has put online, and other stories like the one of Roger bringing out lines of coke as dessert when he was having dinner with motley crue. They definitely embraced the rock and roll lifestyle. And I think with Roger’s personality being what it is, it’s easy to link him to those traditional rock star tropes and say it was all true all the time. I also think Roger has done nothing to counter those beliefs. He’s been open about how he wanted to be a rock star since the minute he picked up a guitar, he’s labelled himself as a great lay in magazines, he’s joked about girls pulling their tits out over dinner in interviews (though he said he didnt take her home), he’s written songs like One Night Stand and Dirty Mind and Airheads which explicitly mention his preference for women and alcohol. I think it’s fair to say he’s kind of encouraged that view of himself. Whether it was just a side effect of being part of such a well known band and having such a boisterous demeanour/personality, or whether it was intentional as a version of promotion i don’t know. maybe a mix of them? I mean I’m sure it didn’t hurt sales and stuff. it’s the whole guys want to be him, girls want to be with him thing, right? Maybe that’s just me being cynical though lmao. 

Anyway, the fandom brain has taken all of that and compressed it into memes and jokes about rog being the band slut. Which i’m not complaining about, lord knows i’ve made the same jokes and reblogged the same posts and used those tropes in my fics. They’re funny and lend themselves to interesting fic concepts. Plus, i think roger is the sort of person who would probably laugh about most of it. But it’s an idea that keeps feeding into itself through fandom, perpetuating what is probably a misguided view of his personal life.

Again, I am sure he’s had his fair share of fun and I’m not trying to make out that he was always perfect or whatever, but I don’t think he’s been with as many women as the popular discourse would imply and I certainly don’t think he’s in the 4 digit numbers. 

[toziers]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

[radiantmists]

rhythm of war part two thoughts

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  (spoilers through the second interludes under the cut, and at the very bottom some comments based on what i have to assume is a major spoiler for the entire book, or close to it, though i'm warning again beforehand.)

well, last things first: taravangian's working against odium! i'm super excited about this, and very happy about the support for the concept that Taravangian's compassion isn't his curse, it's just the division of his intelligence and compassion that's sthe problem.

so we've been able to talk to the sibling, who is mostly trying to help despite genuinely feeling that what navani is doing is wrong. except now they're locked away, and navani is under the direct scrutiny of rabaniel and messing around with her is going to be risky. that being said, we're on our way to some very interesting revelations about how investiture works on roshar:

the stormfather is purely of honor. the sibling is a mix of honor and cultivation. the nightwatcher is purely cultivation

the sibling should not be able to function on pure stormlight, because it's purely of honor.

lift may not run on stormlight at all-- we already knew she can't pull it from spheres.

adhesion, which is somehow a fake surge and purely of honor, is not totally cancelled by whatever rabaniel did to the sibling. from lift's interlude, neither is regrowth when she uses it, which if i had to pick is the surge i would choose to be purely of cultivation.

as far as we can tell, people can still draw in stormlight with no issue, they just cant use it to power surges.

windrunners, who bond honorspren, are less affected by the fabrial: this applies especially to kaladin and syl, and we know syl is different from other honorspren, older. my money is that she's in some way more fully of honor than the others. lift, who's been hugely modified by cultivation directly, is also immune. the edgedancers as a whole are not immune and apparently are reacting as badly as anyone else.

...syl notes in the last set of interludes that she's different from other honorspren, mentally. is this a byproduct of whatever she did to sneak out of shadesmar, or of her being older? interesting.

To me, this all implies that whatever rabaniel did interferes with how cultivation and honor interact. lift, who seemingly only uses cultivation's investiture, can power the surge that seems most directly associated with cultivation; kaladin, probably closest to honor, can do the surge that seems to be entirely honor. the regular edgedancers aren't immune at all because they run on stormlight; the windrunners are somewhat but not fully immune because they're almost fully of honor, but cultivation likely had some hand in the way honorspren were made after the shattering.

Regrowth really is a very odd surge, compared to the others, which seem to deal with much more fundamental physical forces.

the fused do have access to regrowth while powered by voidlight, though. interesting.

speaking of: did navani's weird sphere contain some kind of... cultivationlight? or maybe it's some kind of combination, and that's why the sphere exploded right around the time of rabiniel's experiments (or the sibling was drawing on it somehow?)

on a more immediate level, the current tower resistance is as follows: navani, under constant monitoring but she has the best chance to figure out how to fix this shit. kaladin, who's a mess, being hunted by the pursuer, and who's about to start getting suicide-baiting nightmares from odium, but he does know how to fight! lift, who's amazing and knows how to sneak around the tower but is being hunted by someone who i assume has to be mraize. and rlain, masquerading as a singer (im so worried about him i hope he's okay).

if this somehow ends with kaladin killing mraize to protect lift before he can give shallan answers, i'm going to fucking SCREAM.

speaking of frustrating things: lirin turn on ur location i just wanna talk. Kaladin was actually rebuilding himself until this whole invasion thing, and i don't understand how lirin can look at a man who's that committed to doing good, sees exactly what it is that drives him to kill, and then calls him a monster.

I loved Kaladin's efforts to deal with mental health care! He's in the unique position ofhaving way more political power than any medical professional, darkeyes, or mentally ill person could ever have hoped to have, and I really want to see him come back to this once the world is burning down a bit less again, especially because it genuinely seemed to be helping him.

navani's plots have sorta been subsumed into this whole plotline, but i enjoyed what we got-- the little episode with the other scholars taking bets on whether she'd use tomor's fabrial was adorable, and i also liked how clear it is that they look to her to make things work.

moving on, uh... shadesmar stuff.

adolin's making some progress at waking maya! she doesn't talk but she shows a clearly unusual ability to learn and make independent decisions. i love it.

...also the thing with notum's horse implies that ryshadium are sentient enough to imagine spren. that's fun, and also terrifying.

adolin offering to stand trial for the crimes of humanity is fascinating, but all i'm thinking about is the episode of avatar where he agrees to stand trial for kyoshi, except in this case we already know that humanity did actually do the thing he's in trouble for. it would be unjust to punish adolin for it, but... i worry.

especially because there are, apparently, new deadeyes. this isn't extraordinarily surprising as syl was two skips away from death (though, im curious, does it work differently if the spren's never been a blade prior to dying? or are there just deadeyes wandering around who aren't tied to blades?) but it is very alarming.

and then there's the other thing: pattern is lying to shallan. i frankly don't think it's as simple as him being a spy for the ghostbloods; we saw even here that he's a terrible liar, and to have concealed this he'd have to have been pretty impressive.

on the other hand there was clearly some shit going on between shallan, her family, and the ghostbloods when she first got pattern. he's admitted that he has more exposure to humans than most spren. it doesn't look great, honestly.

i also appreciate that brandon is acknowledging how fucking weird shallan's timeline is. hopefully we get some answers about this.

adolin and shallan's relationship continues to be adorable; the sequence with the starspren is lovely and i totally get why it's brandon's favorite chapter in this part. between this and part one, he clearly enjoyed how the shadolin came out in this book and i agree. the fact that his romances continue after the marriage, with issues beyond just jealousy, is one of my favorite things about sanderson books.

venli's whole set of pov's this part was about walking up to urithiru. i really do want to like her, but she spends a ton of time just following more dynamic characters around and observing in these first two parts, and if not for the juicy secrets rabaniel's been dropping, it would make me just want to get back to other characters. hopefully that'll change in the next few parts.

i was going to make a comment about how we havent even had flashbacks yet, but i just glanced at the POVs for the next part, so I guess those are coming. I do wonder if these eshonai flashbacks will be info venli knows, or what.

she did kill someone for the first time, and attuned the rhythm of the lost for the dead man. the whole incident disturbs her, and i appreciated that as the rest of our viewpoint characters are extremely accustomed to death. i'm interested in seeing how this affects her going forward.

the epigraphs are so exciting! sazed is writing to hoid again, but this time he's gotten his bearings and spoken to some new shards... ones we haven't heard from before! also he asks hoid to say hi when he's on scadrial, which, fair enough tbh. i dont remember whether hoid shows up much in mistborn era 2 but for some reason i have the feeling he is not going to oblige this request.

the epigraph where sazed mentions he wants someone who can both preserve and kill immediately made me think of kaladin. (i think this is what he ends up trying to do with wax, but shhhh) he and sazed would agree on a lot of things philosophically, i think. (omg au where kaladin ends up working for sazed?? i have no idea how this would work the idea just fascinates me.

...where are the heralds? did dalinar take them with him, or are they in the tower? if the latter, are they also passed out? probably not, since they're not radiants, right? although whatever they are is very investiture-dependent so who knows. vasher's probably alright.

why is odium afraid of nightblood? is he worried it could eat him?

lots of POVs for the next part, but no shadesmar crew, so i guess we'll find out whether adolin gets executed by honorspren later. i do wonder why so many pov's from the battlefront; i guess something more is going to happen along those lines than i'd really expected. crossed fingers for some actual insight into renarin, finally.

in light of said spoiler: holy god i hope that division (between taravangian's intelligence and compassion) doesn't continue, though I have the horrible feeling that it will. This puts sazed's discussion of the intent of a shard combined with the cleverness of its vessel into a terrifying light: a godlike being who is at his smartest when he's a complete sociopath is like, the worst case scenario,  not even taking into account that the odium shard is uniquely suited to make people act on impulses. this is so bad.

but i can't know the full extent of that until i read the context, so let's move on!

[mieczyhale]

throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)

my tags on this post::  #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op 

my tags on this post::   #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them 

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings 

my tags on this post::   #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories. 

my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them   

[thankyoumskobayashi]

heres the art i promised to post a while ago. its under a readmore bc i'm going to have a picture and then commentary underneath it. mr. selkie first and then my ultra ocs

ok this was the earliest set of sketches for mr. selkie. i say this bc theres technically one earlier sketch for him in my sock drawer tjat was even worse so you will be forever left wondering. anyways for this set, i drew left to right so you will see my thought process to combine the crown and seashell. i originally thought he was wearing sunglasses like those shitty aviator ones. the last one was a unicorn bc for a moment i thought selkie meant narwhal. still, i'm very proud of that horn even if it wont make it to the final design.

heres the next page of sketches. just to get a feel for mr selkie's proportions i sketched patrice on the back of this piece of paper and he doesn't look too bad.

i like this one bc he has chest and shoulder armor that looks good, along with some accents which complement his figure. i also decided to try a different design for his glasses(?) sorta thigy, almost like a hockey mask with the lines. but at least its better than the cursed sketches i did near the bottom.

these are the cursed sketches near the bottom btw. the one on the left was based on a walrus and the one on the right was based on a seal. maybe if i go the evil döppelganger route for one arc i will use them again.

these are the two beside them, when i was trying to get a feel for possible crown designs and how the lines on the glasses should work. the one on the left is a blatant kuuga ripoff

this is where i perfected the side-profile of the glasses, and tried to add the crown which i practiced twice below.

this was the first crown design i tried, and looked up the selke cup to steal some of the fancy whoops and shells from it. i was like "oh a selke crown gotta base it off the real thing" and this was my first draft.

this one's the more refined version, though i didnt add as much detail as i could have. i was torn between having seashells on the end and round jewels, so i put one on each side to see what looked better.

heres it, but tiny and on a really-fucked up seal eyes design. stare into his soulless eyes, they will take you to the abyss.

last for this side of the page i decided to try some renaissance painting like sketch but i havent seen enough of them so its Like This. the circle is a halo bc it was meant to be like a renaissance painting.

bonus sketch on the back based on a pic i looked up to base this on. despite his okay proportions here i didnt always manage to replicate them on the reverse of the page.

okay, thats it for mr. selkie designs. on to the ultras!

this one was my first one, and the eyes Miiiiiight have been based a lil on Venom... the body (save for the diamond on this ultras chest) is black, but the shaded parts are orange. this one is the only one i thought up a color scheme for. the ultras sketches were bc i opened up a google doc called "rejected ultra ideas" which is where i listed out all the concepts for ultra characters which i thought would be immediately shut down in tsupro's board room. anyways, i used to have an "orange ultra" on there but since ultrawoman grigio is now canon i had to change that. so then i decided to sketch this ultra based on a monarch butterfly. for the rest of them, i used random number generator to get the prompts which inspired these.

next from my rejected ultra ideas doc was "ultra whose power comes from their shoulder pads" except i decided to draw an ultra whose a magical girl instead. what gorgeous shin armor! i dont know how to draw fancy clothes so you will just have to suffer with me on this

lastly, here is "ultra with anime eyes. theyre a regular ultra, but with anime eyes." this one doesn't have sluggers so they look kinda plain. i didn't know what to do for this ultra's accents or shoulder armor so i just made stuff up. i like to think this ultra tries to keep a deadpan expression.

[garlic-gun]

its hot and i didnt want to try to work from my computer so sketchbook for the day. i wanted to have vegito's outfit be a little more of a mix and i am thinking. questionably coherent design thoughts below

vegito always looked a little weird to me (not in a bad way, but when i had seen him as a kid my brain registered a bit of a visual mismatch that made him feel really interesting) and im trying to figure out a way to mix that with how i draw his components, along with trying to make his outfit be a little less like.. for lack of a better word segmented? like how he Just has vegeta's gloves and shoes with Just goku's gi with reversed colors. it works to show that theres a connection between them and while keeping him distinguishable, but i think there could be more and i'm messing around a bit to try it.

i in part designed him in contrast to how i draw gogeta but Thats in part bc i have some ideas about designing fusions in general. my concept is that, based on the fusion dance being a deliberate convergence with an emphasis on being in sync, while a potara fusion i feel is inherently a bit more chaotic, as two people could literally be at each other's throats and refuse to cooperate but still be able to fuse with the earrings, but the dance Requires them to trust each other and understand each other. i tried to have my gogeta design be like overall visually in-between goku and vegeta in a sense, whereas vegito's look is more like... some features may intensely be one or the other or they might not be immediately distinguishable. my idea is that gogeta's features are a little more balancee between goku and vegeta, but vegito has a more kind of unknowable mixture that may not even always make sense. i dont think any of This made sense lets talk about the clothes

im keeping the broad strokes of his outfit the same (trying to generally keep a similar silhouette and color balance), but alter the nuances. i draw goku's gi pretty baggy meanwhile vegeta apparently lives exclusively in tighter clothes, as even when hes not wearing the saiyan armor, he seems to gravitate toward something close and when he and goku fuse i'm pretty sure its the latter (im still in the android saga, i havent actually met him yet), and ive given vegito's clothes a closer fit as well as making the shirt a bit more of a tank top like vegeta's, and taking the fact that when i draw goku, his undershirt's sleeves are rolled up, for vegito i decided to not (this sentence fell apart). i wanted to combine the wristbands and the gloves and ive been thinking about giving him two-toned gloves for a while but i couldnt settle exactly on what else to do about how they'd look. i decided to roll them up (originally i actually made the gloves shorter but they started looking a little wonky) and have the palm of the glove be blue while the top of the hand would be white, and have that be reversed at the cuff of the glove. im not sure what exactly to do with the boots yet, as i'd like to make it look less like Just vegeta's shoes but he's still taking a lot clothing-wise from goku and if i were to, for example, make the boots white but with the patterns from goku, it would be kind of oversaturated by him. to balance out goku more, i've given vegito more of the shape language i would use for vegeta (theyre both pretty angular, contrast with goku and gogeta whom i have more soft and flowy) as well as proportions more like vegeta (vegito is taller, from goku, but his long legs and slimmer frame are from vegeta) but i feel like it isnt as apparent in part bc it ends up averaging out to basically how he looks in canon but a little different, as it feels like a little bit too much of the goku got kinda lost in translation. my intention was to have vegito overall just kind of be his own guy with the influences not Always being readily apparent from goku and vegeta, with him leaning more vegeta when they Are, but i might have done that a little too well. whatever send post

[tamiddyinyourcity]

11:10pm.

Alright.

Stress.

Flashbacked to the time I broke up with Patrick, the brunette one. I wonder if I handled it okay... well of course, calling his sloppy friend a sloppy bitch isn't the greatest route. (But, he and she had been mega sloppy.) I ended it the best way I could, by trying to both 1) be reckless in a way where they'd not want to speak to me ever again, and 2) blocking them on everything since I didn't want him to see what I posted, but just making tweets for general venting purposes. So... it doesn't truly matter how I reacted. The past is in the past. I didn't expect him to stay up that late just restless over me or reading my posts. He acted like he didnt care if i was around, so I left... so, whats the problem?

It was sorta sad, hearing the way he said "have a good night" so glumly after I dumped him.

I was serious. I was super betrayed by his treatment of me and invalidating my feelings and perspective. And if that was how the big talks would go, frankly I saw no reason to continue sticking around.

But... I could've been better about it in certain aspects.

I don't regret leaving him since he was doing that thing where I voiced a concern, or even potential resolutions, just for it to be dismissed.

But, idk. Idk. Its weird. Its a weird feeling all around.

Like, damn, havent exactly had a guy like me to the extent of being dumped, and going, "Let's keep checking in on her tweets, or try to read as many of her blog posts as possible."

But.... yeah.

It wasn't easy for me, I pretty much blacked out and did the mean stuff relating to his idiotic girl best friend who couldnt respond to a fucking text but was so keen to stalk my page, (stupid WHORE,) [i like using the word 'whore' in a different context than the original word is based; unless Patrick was right, and she did have threesomes in the past or some shit..... but no shame, dick is dick,] and then cried in the laundry room near my house.

For a long long time.

My eyes hurt, just thinking about that night. It's not like I wanted to dump the guy who used to idly rest his forehead against mine as we googled Red Pandas at 3am, or that I could listen to Rico Nasty with.

....

Whatever.

He chose what he chose, and I reacted under the pretense of never seeing him again. Life happens. Oh well.

...........

Good stuff happened today.

I was actually managing to restart old script ideas I had in the past.

Then, some kids across the street were putting on a mini jazz performance. Trombone and the flute, a nice sized crowd of people watching. Only like ten, though. Not exactly social distancing, but it was pleasant for a half hour and genuinely had uplifted my mood for the day. :)

It also reminded me of Other Patrick, and the jazz records he owned. He used to be so excited, showing me all the classics his dad gave him.

Gaaaaah. If not for a pandemic, I'd totally be down to drop off some housewarming goodies to his parents. (I'm bad at having relationships end well, but, good at still being the favorite girl for whoever the person's parents are. Not sure about my most recent ex, but they were still pleasant towards me and didn't shoot me any daggers with their eyes..... Oh well, who knows.)

Anyway.

Hmmm.... I painted some concept art, since I finally found my favorite pens and some old pastels of mine. Fixed my bulletin board recently.

I'm pretty good at the whole "draw dismembered bloody figures puking up gore" thing. No, it's nothing psychopathic, its for a horror comedy that I'm writing, lmfao.

I thought it should have good Carrie/The Witch's House/Ju-On The Grudge vibes. :)

Getting better at my layering, anatomy, and brush strokes. Aye.

Aaaand feeling nice. :)

Admittedly, I miss my ex sometimes. Its not the feeling of "oh my GOD i cant believe i cant fuck him or be all naked and vibing anymore", or me crying over not being able to kiss a dude or get good morning texts.... its pretty passive.

Like chilling and doing good, until I woke up this morning with some bad thoughts.

Which nearly resulted in a homicide, once my mom tried to test me. (It luckily did not end with me smashing a microwave into my mom's skull eleven times and doing atrocious acts, it just resulted me leaving the house after she screamed at me, crying in the rain a bit, returning, her acting like nothing happened, and then i seemed okay until i dropped a bag clip and shouted "FUCKING WHOOOOOOOORE" at the top of my lungs, being a blatant signal that I needed to be as easy on myself as possible for today.

Thankfully, jazz music done by 15 year olds playing blissfully through my street, and painting, and film inspirations for horror flicks... helped me out.

Awessome.

:)

11:40pm.

I guess it's just odd, knowing someone can go from liking me so much that they're reading up on every single thing I do post breakup, (really fucking weird but borderline sexy in a way i dont feel like explaining,) to not having me pass their mind.

I don't know if I do.

It's probably better not to think about it too much. I'm currently happy and content in my situation.

Also, me and Rowan are just friends. Which is fine, since not only do I not have the funds to move to the UK or something, buuuut they're, uh.... I don't know.

I still adore em, but them texting me "i want to die" in the middle of what was a pleasant conversation, and then dipping for like an hour or two..... scared the shit out of me. And they never acknowledged it when they returned, which sucked.

Its just scary. I wouldn't want someone to hide things from me, and then before I know it, pass away, you know?

Yeah.

I think that's why I prefer to post here.

It would give insight if anything ever happened. Best case scenario, someone out there relates to the things I write about on here. Worst case scenario... lets not even discuss that.

But, evidence either way, so. :D

11:45pm.

I did really like Patrick. I'm sure he knows that. Or, idk. But I also doubt he cares.

Things were going so great before things broke off. Which just.... made things so much more frustrating, yknow?

Ugh.

I guess now is a better time than ever to get some of the memories out:

Ice skating with him, and my ankles started getting sore, so eventually we had sat down for a bit. He was doing that thing where he looked like he was fake smiling, since he knew I always worried he didn't like me in the way I hoped. (I still have my doubts... But to be fair, he did have depression and anxiety, so the days he could open the door with low eyelids and generally bitchy were just him trying to force himself to be active instead of allowing himself some off days.... It was a cross between, "hes trying too hard to be something hes not", and "hes just not at the same level as me". We still worked out as a couple, shame the way it ended like that.)

Two separate occasions of us in his car during the coldest parts of the season, sleeping smushed together in one car seat (with our scrawny asses) until we both eventually hit sobriety after a night drinking with him.

Christmas with his parents. Loved it, got to tell his family about noise music concerts and whatnot. The food was super good. And he was so damn pretty.

One of the phone calls we had, before getting back together after our first breakup. We were getting pretty good at communication, and I was happy about it.

That time we went to see the meteor shower one night, and I screamed bloody murder, since when I was staring up at the night sky when it was pitch black.... I heard a bunch of footsteps rapidly approaching us from the woods. It turned out it was not a serial killer coming to slit my throat before chasing him into the forest, but even more surprising, and oddly.... some old man with neon green running shoes, jogging, at midnight... far from civilization.... huh.

Me going, "Do you want to kiss me?", and him saying no, only to want to once he realized I was cutting him out my life. (Jesus Christ, Patrick; don't tell girls who you think are nuts, that you have no intention of trying with, that you want to kiss them? What's the fucking point? If he wanted to kiss me so bad, he should've just came over and did it right then and there, then. But, he didn't. Even if he did, as if it was a shitty romcom movie on Lifetime, he'd still probably pull a "just because i wanted to kiss you doesn't mean I *like* you", dick move.... God, why is he like that?)

The idle mornings of eating breakfast with him, either at the local diner or in his house. His cereal is still weird, but i mean, like, it was alright. Gravel, with the smallest hint ever of honey? And he usually was peak antisocial when he woke up... oddly adorable.

That day in Berkeley, when I apologized to him, and somehow the topic of why I did what I did came up, so me just going "Hey Patrick!", and him, exasperated like usual, going "What??", just for me to say "I had feelings for you!", and his smile instantly dropped. LMFAOOOOOO, that alone had me like "i said HAD, CALM DOWN", and explaining the complicatedness of "i like you a lot and was being a horrendous bitch because i couldnt tell if you liked me, or if i was blatant enough with what i thought was me being too obvious for my crush, and was confused and embarrassed so badly and im sorry", just for him to be like "you liked me?????????????", aaaaaaaaand yeah.

And ironically, that made him like me. Lmfao. Cute. Then we yet again acted stupid and indirect about our crushes out of fear of embarrassment! Why the fuck do we always do that????? Thats literally how we ended up breaking up several times?????? Jesus christ.

No wonder I preferred blatantly going "i have a crush on you that im trying to get over, unless you're down", to people. Way easier that way.

Rowan and I are gonna have some space for a bit. Mainly since I get too attached, and do not want to have the whole "he saw my pink canoe, but doesnt wanna buy the lake just wants to admire the view" scenario happen.

He's still a dope dude nonetheless.

Just also turned off at men who don't ask much about me.... its boring.

We both don't do much, but that doesn't mean I wanna only hear about *his* side of quarantine... you know?

Yeah.

12:09am. Feeling pretty okay.

Eli messaged me today, too. I go to his house tomorrow to help him get ready in the morning again.

He still has a crush on me... oh dear. I feel bad, a teensy bit. When it was pre-pandemic, being able to seem interested in a guy for the sake of maybe some company for a walk around the city or handholding for a film was cool.

Plus, compensation.

It's not the same feeling as me being his medical assistant, in a way, and then him awkwardly asking if one night I could "stay over" and "cuddling works for me, too"....

Thaaaaat makes it clear that he has feelings for me.....

Not a good idea.

Yikes.

If his condition was less severe, his teeth were straight, and if he seemed a little more aware to his surroundings and himself... then, maybe. Or even just the last two, since I'd still probably be interested in someone who had a physical disability, as long as their mind was sound, and they still had an attractive face or other aspects.

But it just doesn't feel right.

Is the movie/book Flowers for Algernon relevant? Where the teacher for Algernon goes from being his teacher, to when the treatment to increase his intelligence and soundness of mind starts working, eventually becomes his girlfriend?

Eli's still a kind man. And more generous and thoughtful than plenty of men I had met.

I'll be his friend.

If the pandemic blows over, we can stay in touch. Truly.

I wonder how long this will last....

And I guess giving Patrick that letter did have a purpose. I had a nightmare, that he had passed away. I forget how I heard it in dream. I think Azalea, (the nice version in my dreams,) showed up, just dming me like "Hey, I know we weren't on good terms, but I figured you should know he passed away, seemed like you liked him".

And the dream was.... super depressing. I think I woke up crying. Which did eventually lead to me writing that letter, since I didn't want him to die, with him thinking I hated him, or whatnot.

And if the reverse ever happened, then same.

He knew I always complimented him so much, for the sake of if an incident happened, he would at least know I thought pretty well of him. (Like if one day I had a stroke or seizure due to a lack of diet, or got hit by a car, hit my head on the stairs wrong and simply never woke up, got into a coma, and whatnot...)

I'd much rather have people know I did genuinely appreciate them, while they're still around.

Since in case I ever pass away, it would matter that they knew.

Or if they died, I'd rather know Patrick is in like... (Catholic people have a heaven, right? He seems like a not piece of shit, at least in the extent of not being a vicious human being,) a good place, and not planning to haunt me in death.

Anyway.

Itll be alright.

I just should stay indoors and be extra vigilant these days. Thats all.

12:25am, peace out yalls.