#I WASNT AT PITY OR ANYTHING | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uhzuku · 10 months

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so. :’))

#IT WAS JUST A SINGLE TENNER FOR FUNSIES #I WASNT AT PITY OR ANYTHING #im just sitting here w my sister AGAIN and shems like ‘u wanna pull? do a ten pull on weapons’ bc ive been wanting to pull for the last wee #sigh #she is. a weapons curse #caspian plays: star rail !!#edit: AND IM NOT GOING FOR HUOHUO. I AM S K I P P I N G #IM GOING FOR HANYA AND ARGENTI #and since i got five pulls back from the 2 5*s and 2 4*s + 5 pulls from shop reset tonight #TECHNICALLY they’re both free #hashtag gamba math <33

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ratatatastic · 28 days

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"So the Cup party—you know, we with some of the other boys were waiting at Elbo Room for you guys like a bunch of fuckin' plugs! But you go to Chucky's house after—I mean, I know you guys stayed in the locker room for hours, until like 3AM and then you go to Chucky's house. Obviously, there was the amazing stuff on the beach, all around town, Elbo [Room] the next day. That night just being with the boys, being with the families in the locker room, at Chucky's—how special was that?" "Yeah, you know what it was... I think they said—the one day we went back to the rink—I think we had to sign—our owners had to sign every champagne bottle and I think they said there was over 160 champagne bottles? That were—and like obviously not—" "Like empties you mean? Yeah, just like—" "Empties! Like just spraying everywhere! I think you could—like, I had my gear on till about 3:30/4AM. I didn't get home till about 5:30 and guys were still there! You guys probably saw that pic of Carter sleeping on the lawn? Like, I think he might've been one of the last ones there."

Empty Netters | 8.26.24 (x)

and if youre wondering about said lawn pics montys talking about swaggy drunk off his ass plopping down on the grassy area in front of amerant bank arena in the parking lot waiting for his uber 😭😭😭

and he looked so downright pitiful that someone went up to him and gave him a chair to sit on instead and everything about his dazed smile once he recognises the thing in front of him being a chair speaks enough volumes about how absolutely gone he was

#brandon montour #carter verhaeghe #florida panthers #he also immediately went to pee in one of the bushes in the parking lot #so theres that as well #drunk swaggy is a menace #and i am so glad two people tagged along and made sure he was okay as they waited for his ride #but also the juxtaposition of lombo walking out the garage just fine versus swaggy so dazed and who once he makes it to the grass plops dow #tbf from the arena to the main road is so long for no damn reason you have to fucking trek through the jungle just to find civilisation #if i was drunk while i had to do that? id sit too. and also burst into tears.#to the person who offered him a chair you are his angel #but his sweet smile at it fucking geeks me so bad #im glad monty brought it up because i sure as hell wasnt but i see its prime chirp material for the boys lmao #i think anything swaggy has done post cup is prime chirp material #swaggy. boy born in a wet cardboard box all alone.#HE LOOKS SO PITIFUL PLEASE

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thedrotter · 2 months

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(cw for a gun, mild blood and suicide in the last drawing.)

Day 1-5 of drawing Re:Kinder daily for a whole month! I'll be doing that all month. ☺️

I did not draw Re:Kinder enough (said both sarcastically and genuinely, because while I know the statement is ridiculous I also do believe it www), so I chose to challenge myself. I will post these every 5 days to not clog the tag too much.

#re:kinder #rekinder #fanart #hiroto yamakawa #rei suzumura #aya hibino #sayaka akatsuki #ryou shimoya #takumi katsuragi #shunsuke takano #yuuichi mizuoka #AND CHIE!!!!!! :3333 #now... commentary...#for the first one i tried doing the proportions a bit more realistic than the chibi like ones i usually do !#although it comes with the worry they may seem like teens in contrast of how i generally draw them^^;... i hope they still look their age😢#second drawing is based on an idea from my sister that hiroto’s more responsible attitude comes from taking charge more than he should-#-due to his parents both being depressed. so i tried to express that idea somewhat... its more speculation than anything but still #third one is HORROR MOVIE TIME!!! this one was very funny to me because i dunno whos house theyre in but ryou looks right at home www #certainly not takumi's because that breaks the law children have of “its MY house so if i dont want to watch this movie we wont watch it”#fourth is SHUNSUKE VS THE SCHOOL TESTS!! based on him throwing out his school tests on the trash as mentioned once ingame.#in case it isnt clear the 12 is a 12 out of 100... im afraid i dont know how to make it clearer😓.#chie originally wasnt meant to be there but the compositions i came up with felt boring otherwise. so she was brought in to fill in the voi #final drawing is here to remind you this is a horror game about mentally ill children i am so sorry #im aware it is a bit jarring compared to all the (mostly) fluff but the rng said it was a yuu day he doesnt get any fluff #ah yes sorry spoilers he wont be getting any fluff there will not be a single drawing where he feels joy😭 i am sorry for this #this is because the ideas i never really got to draw (that are here) of him are the sad ones because i feel such a pity drawing him that wa #but i had to get to them eventually because i did want to draw it anyway but i was going to keep stalling them if i didnt do em here #so sorry no happy yuu the whole month😢#anyway i may redraw one of these later down the line (when its no longer august).#i do these with time limitations so i dont get to push them to bigger steps but if i feel one should get one i may redraw it LATERRR

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lacnunga · 2 months

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Amyway it's my birthday and I'm depressed about it as always

#you dont need to read this this is me being self pitying and melodramatic as always #like hashtag itsnotthatdeep #but idk. i kinda want people to celebrate my birthday but i dont want to Ask for it yknoa #bc if i ask for it it a. makes me look self absorbed which is not wrong in context #and b. people will feel obligated to follow through so as not to feel rude and i dont want to make them waste one of their few weekend days #some decorations. go out to eat maybe. idk what it would look like but maybe a bit more that #and i know me decorating and buying food for other peoples bdays doesnt mean they are required to reciprocate or anything #idk. again its whatever its one day and itll be over soon but at this point i kinda wish this wasnt a day at all #so i dont need to be reminded of it #blah blah blah get over yourself etc youngest child syndrome etc etc i know

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hiveswap · 8 months

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Im going to fucking throw up

#i hate posting about how im insecure abt my drawings because that just makes people rb them out of pity thats annoying as shit dont do that #but then i try for hours to draw something and its honestly not important to me but by the end im pretty pround #so i post it knowing no ones gonna give a shit #and yeah pretty much thats what happens #and i feel like shit bc no one owes me attention ffs #and i know it isnt anything special and i should have drawn something actually interesting instead of another portrait #and i complain to my mother and shes like #'well this is something a child would have drawn it isnt good'#and im like oooh i should kms got it #like obviously im the one who craves validation without putting any effort into making it actually cool #so this is like no one's fault and im self aware of it and it drives me INSANE #and i need to vent this but it will make someone go pity rb all of my stuff and it's gonna feel like shit bc i hate begging for notes #like you know if someone wasnt going to reblog why beg them to. thats not them actually liking the art thats bullshit guilt tripping #i dont even need exposure i dont sell any drawings exposure is useless to me i dont even know what i want #i just want to make something that people like what the fuck

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ratsbanes · 10 days

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throwback to the time i asked on reddit "what's wrong with first person fanfiction" because i justed wanted to weigh it and then proceeded to get bombarded with people either saying "it's just a matter of opinion" (not helpful) or even "well your being entitled so stfu" (how... did we get here?)

#i fucking hate reddit #everyone there is so annoying i swear #i said to someone “shame that some people who dont like first stories are missing things like to kill a mockingbird”#and the got called stupid because since they don't like 1pov they werent missing anything #like... i wasnt talking about that? i was saying how if 1pov stories were in 3rd people would read and maybe enjoy them?#and it kinda sucks you might not want to read that? sir i never attacked your preference. this wasn't about you!#someone called me an entitiled brat so i explained that maybe i was a bit bitter but i was being genuine. they called me manipulative #they deleted their post LMAO #this post isn't for pity!! i just wanted to rant about it bc i thought of it #and i thought it was funny

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thedevotionaltour · 3 months

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I SHOULD HAVE GONE INTO RADIOOOOOOOO

#the only benefit of art school is MY FRIENDS!!! maybe i would be better at art now if i hadnt gone bc i could have kept it as a hobby...#but i do love everything i have learned. i really do. unfortunately i think more than anything i am just bad at existing and doing things #i used to be able to do things. in high school. existing i still wasnt good at doing that there either. but at least i did things on my own #and at the time felt i was good at them. now im just bad at existing and doing things and do nothing worthwhile that i love anymore #oh it sucks to have this realization every other day. to just know you are very bad at what you wanted to do so badly. and just feel like #all you can do is give up on it. i know i shouldnt. but it's very hard not to want to. when you see everyone else around you getting better #and still doing art on their own time. and you see your own stuff and realize you have gotten worse. dont progress. and cant even do it as #hobby anymore. when you see how far behind you are from everyone else and see how your work has lost confidence it just sucks badly. yknow #i wish my brain worked better desperately bc i do think that is part of it. but im just lazy. and bad at this. and have no drive for anythi #im not very good at any of this overall. and it makes me sad. im the only thing in my way of what i want but i dont know how to move forwar #oh well. one day something better will come my way if im lucky. if i do better. one day i'll do better. i hope. i really really hope.#static.soundz #vent.txt #SORRY i got whiney and self pitying in my tags even though i said i wouldnt well unfortunately I Am Not Strong and need to make posts #bc this is my diary where i say everything ever good and bad beneficial and detrimental bc what else should i be doing with this blog huh

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toastsnaffler · 8 months

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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries

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lovecoreclownz-archive · 1 year

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I don't usually get into discourse but I wanna say one thing:

If another country didn't want Ao3 to exist they would just block it from being searchable in their country.

Like for real guys, cmon. I'm fairly certain that Russia has better things to do than worry about a fanfiction sight. As for the "terrorist group in Sudan"? That's. Do you really think they'll be calling it smuts and nsfw and lgbtq+????

If this was politically motivated, what would either of these groups gain from taking ao3 down??? Like genuine question. (The correct answer is nothing)

So now I want you guys to think about if this WASN'T either of these groups, then what would the real attackers gain from throwing these people under the bus?

Anonymity.

It's a red herring guys. It's literally so people don't figure out who really did this. This is just to throw people off the trail so whoever really did this isn't found as easily.

TL;DR - Whoever is doing this is probably an American group who's using other countries as scape goats due to their common anti-queer stances so that they won't be traced as easily. And it's sadly working.

#like at first glance maybe theyd look real if you dont put much thought into it?#but really man this is most likely some american group #i dont even think these are christians or even like. neo nazis like the whole estro labs #if they were theyd be going after personal info (which has been stated to have not been confiscated atm unless ao3 lied)#which i wouldnt doubt #but if anything this is probably someone trying to poor meow meow save ao3 🥺 the website so that people will take pity and either donate #more or not moderate the website #which. if the staff wasnt just volunteers (go support the volunteers) and had more structural integrity this wouldnt be as big of an issue

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tokyoteddywolf · 6 months

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22 isn't very much at all, I think.

#5am rambles #anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out #first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay #cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope #i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.

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rubys-domain · 1 year

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at this point i dont even care if i get kokomi. i just want a 5 star

#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !!#im already at 60 pity #im gonna be disappointed if i get close to hard pity and lose the 50/50 #i mean ill be fine if i get tighnari or jean #but ugh #still feels bad getting 5 stars at high pity #and this is on main where my last 5 star was kazuha #the worst thing about this is not getting any yanfei cons #i got a whole load of faruzan cons instead. which i dont need unless i somehow get her c6 before i get a 5 star #worst case scenario，i got a rosaria out of all this so it wasnt a complete waste of primos i guess #as for the alt... i'm burnt out honestly. i don't feel like doing anything on there save for building characters #the endless list of quests i have irks me #i've pretty much given up and just resigned myself to building barbara on there #aside from kokomi，i think i only want yelan and nahida. and MAYBE shenhe. and maybe baizhu #purely for utility #i'll likely never pull for shenhe or baizhu on the alt tho. unless he gets a rerun in early 4.x #shenhe doubtful because she's mainly a cryo buffer and my goal is pyro chongyun #and i'll only pull for yelan if i don't have xingqiu yet by the time her rerun comes around #yeah she provides more damage than qiu. but i only need the hydro app so for my purposes they're exactly the same #and i doubt i can even be bothered to get nahida honestly. she'll be good for my hyperbloom razor team and all but just #ugh. i'm really，truly burnt out on the alt

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priceprime · 2 years

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Oh vulture take

my sins and make

them sacrifice.

I cannot bear

the thought

Of unmitigated mistakes.

Tear at the flesh

of my flaws, Pick

the bones clean and white.

Take what you must

Whatever can make me

Good enough.

Whatever can make me

Good enough.

#roadkill can become part of the circle of life #if the scavengers take pity on you #maybe it won't have been a senseless violence #this poem is about me needing to find some sort of justification for my mistakes #because if there wasnt a reason. if i didn't learn anything. if it won't work towards something good.#then i am unforgivable #which doesn't make any sense #sometimes you just make mistakes #and there is nothing good of them but there is still good in you #but I never feel that way

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munamania · 2 years

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is it really really stupid to give her the gift. i know she’s not worth it and im making myself feel like shit over and over and i need to stop and it doesnt matter how sad or angry i am about it she’s not just gonna dump him and even if she did i wouldn’t like. want to be the second choice (not that i inherently would be. weirdo dream scenario) and it’s just not gonna affect her much to not see me anymore and i have to be okay with that. and im truthfully not rn but i have to be cause that’s the reality. anyway lost my point there

#like. i just cant imagine class being over monday and just being like. ok bye forever ig. or not rlly saying anything #idk guys im sorry i know ive gone on and on and on nonstop for months #it just sucks #even if i think back to monday like. it's classic baby steps of leading me on and i fortunately for once didnt nip at the bit right away #but just the little ways she looked at me and smiled or joked around. kinda flirty. just for her to yk #post the bereal today and hes in it and its like 'wait let me get a shirt on' so just blatantly fucking yk. didnt even have to do my sleuth #work. and like. i know maybe ive overreacted to a lot of it and over thought it and she really didn't intentionally do a lot of it #and wasn't ever confused or anything and i just told myself that to justify being sooooo bonkers over it. idk #so it's like. with all that in mind. no i should not give it to her i should just walk out of class and not talk to her again #but the wounded part of me the 17 yr old in me is desperately asking why it's so easy for someone to get over me #but she was never into me! or at least not enough yk. she has a boyfriend. and that yk. shouldve been enough #but i got so lost in all these little signs and feelings of tension and #i guess. lol look at me abt to say this. doesnt help to dwell (lol!) but who knows if it was mutual some of those times when it just Felt #tense. yk. or if she just has problems and really liked the ego boost #cause boy did i make it fucking easy to enjoy my attention! and i never ever ever shouldve done all that bc she wasnt mutually engaging #at least not till like. october. and only briefly. and i just. ugh #anyway :( whatever. i know the answer is no. i know it's no i know i shouldnt #but as i was saying. the wounded part of me wishes i could make her feel even a fraction of the hurt or even just fucking regret #but not pity. but regret for being an asshole. if i could just say something as my final word or something and still be dignified #but i just dk how that would happen. so. yeah #hopefully this is one of my runner up last posts about her #film girl saga

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playingonedchess · 16 days

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how is it that i can feel nostalgic about the time i was sitting on the pavement under an overpass in a foreign country crying because something didnt go my way and gave me a bit of a largish bill but clearly really cause there must be something wrong with me

#this post started out being about nostalgia being for the past not just fun stuff but then it turned into what the fuck is wrong with me #nah like i dont actually cry in public or anything #there was no one around and i had my hood up #also when its strangers in a foreign country youll never ser again who dont notice your existence that princippal becomes less important #and yes it wasnt actually that much of a big deal im just stingey and think it was unreasonable and it wasnt my fault #only it actually sort of was if id actually bothered to use google and translate or actually ask someone and if id been less stingey in #the first place there wouldnt have been a misunderstanding and i wouldnt have got in trouble #but yes the point is the fact that i was cyring about it was a total overreaction and completely pathetic #even though cyring in privates like actually fine and this was basically private its still pathetic #i can say it was general stresses or whatever i guess which is probably true i dont know why else id do it #except that im a stupid pathetic self pitying loser thatll jump on any chance to feel sorry for myself #i suppose since i dont have much of a life i never feel emotions much any more cause theres nothing happening to make me feel them #so considering that it does make more sense and doesnt sound so bad #well whatever reason in general i dont think its a normal or balanced reaction #but thats how it works isnt it lots of small things build up and you ignore them but eventually something tips you over the edge #and i get pissed off or very very occassionally might cry about it #maybe it isnt even that unbalanced when i put it like that #or maybe im just justifying it cause i cant admit i really am that pathetic #but anyway the nostalgias more fun to think about #even though it was only a few months or so ago #maybe its cause i feel like i have to grasp onto any past i have at all to show i have an existence so i feel like i have an identity #or whatever im too tired its like 2am #am i actually going to post this #i shouldnt #not that being pathetic on the internet where theres such a minute chance some random stranger might see it makes any difference

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basementxdweller · 4 months

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insert witty and charming and incredibly funny joke here that makes you find me irresistibly attractive

#loooove that i have come to hate pride month because i know i am just always going to be in the closet #i dont think i will ever actually get to live my life the way i want to and it is genuinely tearing me apart i think #and its so annoying when people try to act all positive and be like #'you can do whatever you want!'#because i cant. i never really have been and i never really will be anle to. and it hurts so much.#idk why it has been so hard for me to accept this lately #but it is and it just keeps getting harder #and the reality of this just leeps setting in more and more.#i uaed to be just fine with the knowlesge tjat i would never be able to transition kr anything but now its so hard #i used to be fine mnowing that i would mever be a real boy but now its like. well wht if i juat [redacted]#i dont hate being a woman i just hate that ill never be a man.#its simple i think aobout the afact that my larents were going to name me murphy if i qas a born a boy and i get so sad i want to die #its simple i think about the fact that i could have been born a boy and i just wasnt for qhatever fucked up reason #and i get so sad rhat i want to just fucking shrivel up and die #and its so fucking stupid.#its simple i think about the fact that the last time i felt okay is when she called me a boy and then i get so sad that i want to die.#i wish i could be called a boy by people without it feeling like a lie everyone tells me out of pity.#i wish i could be a boy without it feeling fake.#all ive ever wanted is to be a boy but it always feels so fake anytime i try to be one.#but i also feel like im no good at being a girl either.#that feels like a lie and fake as well.#i just dont like who i am as a person very much and theres nothing i can do about it.#its like theres no version of me that ends up happy and okay.

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thoughtfulseason · 6 months

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17 days until i’m 27

#gonna try to keep my expectations low for this thing too #cause last time during my birthday celebration no one even asked how i am. who cares that its my bday? who cares about the fact that its #my day?? nope. i even got insulted cause i sat on the part of the sofa where my aunt wanted to sit #i just wasnt as obedient as usual and she did NOT like it #so yeah when everyone went home i just had a breakdown cause nobody cared about me #i wish they’d care now but i’ll try to not expect anything #which for me is basically impossible but ill try #its just… i always hope that on my birthday people will finally show me love but i guess thats a pretty fucked up thing #if they dont like me thats fine. one day my people will love me everyday. not just on my bday. and not out of pity #its just that ive been lonely for so long #but its ok #but no celebration this year except we’ll just acknowledge it during easter. cause mine’s on easter second day #by we i mean my family my grandma and cousin families #i do have my delusiona about coach surprising me but ik thats not gonna happen #its just that he’s my favourite person and i’m a maladaptive daydreamer so #just gonna ignore my brain #no one in fencing will probably gonna remember my birthday #except the ones who have me on facebook

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