#I Won't be Able to Stop Myself
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I love the dynamic of the enas with Taski maiden and coral, I’d love to see more of it!
Take More Taskicoral! Watch Them Coexist With the Enasquared Lovelies! 💞
"Do you think I should wear my regular sweater or a dress?"
Coral sighed and looked up at Taski, doing all she could to keep from smiling as the shorter woman posed in front of a full-body mirror. The day so far had been incredibly boring, according to Taski, and it needed something to spice things up! Taski had gone on a minute long tangent about how important it was for her to put every bit of effort into pleasing Coral, and while it was incredibly sweet, it was also somewhat concerning.
'I believe Taski is getting lost in her head again.' Coral kept her eye shifting between her phone and Taski, waiting for a response from the bouncy ENA she'd come to know as a decently close friend.
'Oh no! What happened? Is she okay? Do you need me and RENA to come over???' ENA texted back, each question accentuated with a loud Ping!
'Calm down, ENA, it's okay. She's just a little nervous about this little meetup. She might try to fight your girlfriend. Again.'
'Wife.'
...
'WHAT?' Coral Glasses practically shoved her face against her phone screen, waiting impatiently for ENA's explanation.
'Yeah! RENA proposed yesterday while we were at dinner with Shepherd and Merci! I can't wait to show you two the ring! It's positively darling!'
Coral fanned her face, gasping with no real intent to say anything and pulling Taski close. She buried her face into Taski's sweater, screaming into the fabric for an ungodly amount of time.
"Should... Should I be concerned about this?" Taski asked, the concern clear in her voice.
"RENA proposed." Coral squeaked, unsurprised by Taski's scream of dismay. "ENA says the ring is gorgeous..."
"Oh! I'll show that ENA! She thinks she can best me by proposing first?! HAH! I'll profess my love to you so well, no one will know what hit them! Not even me!" Taski shouted, tackling Coral and kissing her with intense excitement.
Coral whimpered and moaned into the kiss, feeling her skin prickle in both the best and worst of ways. Taski's seemingly constant need for physical contact actually helped to improve Coral's social anxiety, something that the quiet woman found herself absolutely adoring.
"I'm gonna make a wife outta you and outdo ENA at the same time!" Taski huffed, smiling triumphantly at Coral's loving giggle. "Step one complete! I have you successfully wooed!"
"You certainly do." Coral agreed, humming as she pulled Taski into another, calmer kiss. They both giggled as the kiss ended, content to lay on the bed until time for their meet-up with the ENAs.
Worrying about being late was a chore for future them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're late. Did something happen?"
Taski grunted, puffing out her chest to try and look tougher. "Nothing could ever happen to my precious Coral without me doing something about it!"
"Izzat why you look like you were just thrown into a lake?" RENA snorted, chuckling at ENA's gentle scolding slap to the arm. "Alright, alright. Forgive me, I'm just riding a high."
"So I've been told." Coral hummed, sitting down in the chair Taski pulled out for her. She blushed as the chair was pushed back in, gently swatting at Taski's gleeful kisses. "Darling, we just got here."
"Yeah, can't you wait at least ten minutes before you subject us to your affection?" RENA asked, smirking as Taski flipped her off. "Back atcha short stack!"
"Oh, you two." ENA sighed, grasping RENA's hand and using her free hand to sip at the tea she and RENA had ordered. "Coral, you simply MUST taste this tea. This is the only teahouse in the Third Ring that makes it perfectly."
Coral nodded, eager to see what her friend was currently indulging in. ENA's sudden interest in exotic tea and anything related was the only reason they were all meeting up. RENA had offered to take ENA to a well-known teahouse, and ENA invited Coral and Taski as a friendly gesture.
Relationship building is what she called it, if Coral remembered correctly.
"What kind is it?" Taski asked, leaning forward and nearly toppling the table thanks to the awkward angle she’d ended up in. She took a deep breath and stood still for a moment before huffing. "Is that Sencha?"
ENA nodded excitedly, starting a tangent about how fascinating the tea making process was and gasping with delight as Taski added her own knowledge of the craft. The duo then began a deep conversation about tea, tea leaves, the best dishware to drink from, etc.
"You following any of this?" RENA asked Coral, humming as the latter helplessly shrugged. "I'm marrying a tea nerd."
"I guess I'm lucky I'm just dating one." Coral joked, smiling mischievously as Taski took a moment to gently tap her shoulder. "Joking, dear."
"Mhm." Taski replied, narrowing her eyes suspiciously for just a moment before returning to her conversation with ENA as if they’d never stopped.
"Gosh, I love her." RENA quietly hummed, her smile wobbly and absolutely smitten.
"I know what you mean." Coral agreed, looking to Taski as if she was the sun to Coral's moon. Opposites that represent different things, but in the end compliment each other because of the lives they save. "I think we got the lucky end of the stick this time."
#ENA#ENA Joel G#ENA Dream BBQ#Enasquared#Taski Maiden#Coral Glasses#Taskicoral#Taski Maiden x Coral Glasses#Don't Ask Me to Write Taskicoral Smut#I Won't be Able to Stop Myself
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Sunday HSR lord have mercy on my bank account when you become playable
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it's always the right eye
#okay i should stop with this shitposts for now#I should stop thinking about the teaser otherwise I won't be able to do anything#murder drones#nori doorman#murder drones doll#murder drones yeva#evele stuff#send help#idk if it means smth#this reminded me that I once wanted to make myself a bandage like Sunny's from Omori#Sunny also has a wounded Right eye...#wounded right eye team !!!
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Idk I just hate when people get offended when someone says "Sasuke was mentally unstable" Like okay 1- he broke out into genuine LAUGHTER and I dont understand how you can't be a little weirded out by that and 2- Being mentally unstable isn't like??? A bad thing???
Like??? Being unstable or mentally unwell is in no circumstance a bad thing. You're sick. Would you refute it with the same vigor if I said he had the flu too? Like idk it might just be me but Sasuke finally breaking down makes so much sense for his journey. Like I get people who just explain it away or don't like that hc. But people who outwardly get offended and hurt by me saying he was unwell like? Its really not that serious and it says a LOT about you that you can't handle your favourite character being sick.
#Like it might just be because of my personal experience#But if someone started yelling on my behalf and saying when I started trying to tear my skin off and pull my hair out I was completely-#-Sound of mind I would be kind of pissed off#Like can we stop treating mental illness like its some shameful thing#"Oh yaya mental illness is a sickness and u shouldn't be ashamed of it! Oh... but no my favourite character doesn't have that... bc#“He's really cool sooo that wouldn't happen to him!!!”#Do they know#LOOK AT HOW RIDICULOUS THAT SOUNDS LIKE... MY BROTHER IN CHRIST PLEASE SAY YOU KNOW#Its like when people try to pretend Sasuke has both his arms bc its too difficult to write someone who only has one#HMMMM????? OH YEAH IT IS A LITTLE DIFFICULT TO LIVE WITH ONE ARM YEAH#Like Sasuke is physically disabled after shippuden lets stop trying to erase that#Naruto has like. No disabled representation. Why are you taking away the one character we get??#I'm not here to shit anyone even if it seems like that a little#I'm a bit sour about it- but that doesn't mean I won't read and like and comment on a fic that gives Sasuke his arm back#But I feel like its been way too normalised to just try and erase that from Sasukes character#Imo Sasuke was mentally unwell in his actions but his choices were justified. He is disabled and -as most disabled people are- is strong-#-enough to live with it and thrive#pro sasuke uchiha#pro sasuke#It's a difficult concept to try and understand if you're not disabled or ill yourself but if you're able bodied please try to get it#It's a little hurtful when people try to erase all representation of the community#I'm not missing any limbs myself- but I do have a physical disability that severely impacts my ability to maneuver#And seeing people avoid writing about it and skimming over it like it's nothing feels a little off#sasuke uchiha#naruto#naruto shippuden#moldy-flowers#Sasuke
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*_*
#i think this will be a kind of post vent jaja#it's been several days since i touched my tablet or even a pencil#until today i hate when these things happen because i do nothing#and in a certain way i'm already used to it it's normal at this point#i have periods where i simply feel like i don't deserve anything i have and blahblahblah#only negative things it helps me to keep busy doing anything#when im in school all i think about is that...classes classes my friends and more classes#but as soon as iget a week off these cycles of decline begin uhgggg#i haven't been able to work on commissions on ideas that i have on animatics IN ANYTHING#because i don't feel “well”#it makes me feel bad thinking about it#it frustrates me to have a lot to do but it also frustrates me to do nothing#iknow i've overcome several problems that ive been dragging around for years#but even though they don't manifest as badly as they did before#those feelings are still there after all ijust learned to “”“deal”“” with them#and it makes it worse because i just isolate myself when that happens#i'm not someone who shares things like that (??#i've barely told people these things aaand it's a miracle that im doing it now lool#buuut i think it's easier for me to do it in places like this#because at least the people who know me irl won't have to read it#and tbh it's because i say “you don't have the right to feel that way either”#i just want this to stop one day#and be able to be CALM#ifeel like a fraud
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I am so excited for your upcoming fic I am SEATED #seated and i cant wait to read all your ideas <3 :)
Aww, I'm so glad to hear that! <3 :) This is going to be quite a long fic, nearing 100k words or so, and I'm trying to finish most of it before posting, so I can make sure the plot works as intended, but I'm hoping it'll be worth the wait. Very excited to share it as well!
#♡♡♡#knowing myself i probably won't be able to stop myself from sharing some tidbits along the way#sealed letters
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I like the term burn out for its very descriptive nature, and how it encompasses how we get there.
Right now, it feels like I'm burning. Not out, not yet, but it's definitely the way leading there eventually. And it would be a lie to say I don't know how to stop it.
The problem is, it hurts and it burns and it lights up my soul and my heart and makes me feel even more alive. And I don't want it to stop and I want it to consume me.
I won't let it get to that. I have a few days off and I know stepping away from work even for a day or two will make me stop wanting to feel this burning. I will do other things I love, spend some more time with my loved ones, go climbing, feel the sun on my face, maybe even watch something non medical.
But it's kind of scary, how easy it is to go down the wrong way, even if I am fully aware of what's happening. When one's exhausted enough, it's so tempting to just give in...
#medblr#residency chronicles#burnout#i am fine#i went to therapy for a long while for this exact reason#to be able to stop this spiraling down#and i am confident enough in my ability to restore myself#so this post is basically just my musings#but its scary how easy to go down the burnout way unnoticed#im kinda scared of the day when i won't notice it in time
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.
#I dont wish for this post to show in any general tags in any way shape or form. consider it a vent#d*scord has been banned as a lot of other different things and I can't fix it especially with my Computer Curse (tm)#which is frustrating to say the least. it's not like I've been there often but I Did contacted a lot of ppl through it#there is always people who has it worse and I feel like even thinking about it makes me a horrible person but#as much as I hate posting about stuff like that I genuinely believe that my country slowly tries to become second n*rth k*rea.#and it heavily affects me even if I live in the countryside.#first you ban gay people from existense so I can't even hold hands with same-sex friends in public and if my social media is leaked I can b#send to. like. an actual pr*son. which is very real and not a joke at all.#then you ban every online payment services so I'm forced to work double time to be able to feed myself since commissions are barely availab#anymore. and THEN you ban ways for people to connect. don't get me started on how much is fucks up my calling scheldue w friends & I miss#servers I used to visit to get my mind off of all of this bullshit#this is just upsetting. not gonna lie#with a cherry on top that the winter is close I'm freezing dead in my living space & the roof is leaking & my phone is dying &#I thought the vicious thunder the other day was another midnight b*mbing LOL. at this point I have no idea how I'm still sane#not gonna say Ive got it bad because I'm slowly reaching my goals and it's gonna get better eventually. it's just one of those days#where all of the things come at once overwhelmingly and I'm paralyzed to start anything on my to-do list#I think I need to go outside and stop overthinking it as I usually do.#I'm absolutely gonna miss LN3 release and will slowly fall out of fandom (but not stop being interested in it. at this point it's impossibl#sigh#tumblr is the only way for me to contact outside world and even tho the real world is not so bad I'm still missing a lot and falling out of#my interest in fandom & art in general. if they're gonna ban tumblr I think I'll fall out completely and vanish#bcause runet algorithms are not fandom- and/or art-friendly & I'm not really popular in my space to gather any meaningful interactions#I'm gonna boil in my already-formed company and that's as much as I can get. pretty much a foreseeable death of me as an artist.#how it's gonna affect me is unpredictable and I'm not gonna grief for inevitable future#but I'm sure I'm gonna be very sad. as if there's not enough weight already on my shoulders.#let's pray they won't do that. but I'm ready for the worst already since they're trying to make people's lifes as much miserable as they ca#overthinking wins for today fellas. it seems.#memento mori by will wood starts playing#vent#its bad to say but the w*r doesnt affect me much since Ive been living in a horrible conditions this whole time. it truly can't be any wors
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really missing philosophy this summer so after i finish mbf i think i am going to start reading boonin's book on the nonidentity problem 💖
#also want to be able to email my prof to talk about it because i feel insaneeeee without anyone to discuss philosophy w me#i miss studying and i miss learning and i miss writing papers ...#i'm sooooo excited i think i'm going to be developing an argument into a paper and hopefully submitting to an undergrad journal#just need to talk to the girl who's worked on the argument with me and get an advisor#anyway im just feeling so destitute ... i miss my studies so badly#also i need a way to distract myself from reading a little life again#telling about how bad i'm doing. because usually i finish that book and feel so sick that i can't touch it again for two years.#but now i just. want to read it again. and yet ! i won't! i'll stop myself#hello world
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Does anyone know any sneaky secret society to get dnp merch to countries they don't ship to??? kinda wanted the holding hands shirt, but idk how I could possibly get it to Brazil since they hate us and all
#like do I need a phannie friend to ship it to and send to me?#it's a lot of money so I'm just scared of trying it and the person doesn't actually send it#spoopy#I was gonna ask Katie but I mentioned it multiple times and I don't think she's on board cause she never replied to it askdjas#and since I'm already so annoying idkkk#kinda desperate cause they'll stop making it and then I won't be able to have it#sigh#maybe it's a blessing in disguise tho idk how much it's gonna cost in shipping#talking myself out of it#dnp#Dan and Phil#phan#it would be so much easier if these bastards didn't deliberately stop shipping here
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just a head's up: while I hesitate to call hiatus of any kind bc I want to give myself the freedom to write when I have the energy/focus/etc., I will just note that I'm gonna be even slower than usual around here for... idk, probably for a bit. I'm in the worst state mentally that I think I've ever actually been in and it's uhhhh. it's not great lmao. writing is my main escape & distraction so I don't want to step away from it but doing anything is hard as fuck rn so I'm really not interested in pressuring myself to get shit done when it comes to the hobby I'm supposed to be having fun with. I'll be slow, I'll be selective, and it's possible I'll be dropping a lot of drafts?? maybe?? OR at least like. temporarily removing a bunch from my drafts (to be added back later) just so the number is less big & overwhelming lmao.
thank u guys for ur patience w me & for writing w my glittery lil creature, I appreciate u all sm 💜
#so sick of this dude I want to feel my normal kind of bad. this new kind of bad is so hard to calm down & relax & not think with adjgksh#I am constantly antsy & feeling this awful existential dread & I haven't been able to be alone without spiralling#it's terrible. that brief period of feeling lighter yesterday did not last as long as I would have liked lmaodhfjsh#anyway. just wanted to make a note. I'll probably add smth about it to my pinned whenever I can crawl onto my laptop too tbh#but yeah. think it's gonna be rough for quite a while so idk idk I just want to feel a little more free#to do whatever I'm feeling the most around here (which should always be the case I know but I pressure myself ok I can't help it)#I need to stop typing bc I'll just keep rambling... brain won't shut up adjgksh#love u guys ok ty 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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cold shower after coming back at 7 pm from internship walking 1 hour all the way home inthe heat! fuck yeah
#'why walk' you ask. well you see. scorching and humid hot arrived out of nowhere last week#and waiting still at a bus stop for 15 minutes is worse than 1 hour of walk because the air doesn't move#but if i walk it does! lmao. so anyway#i ate lunch at 3 pm becausw lab work was unending and laborious#sat doing bench work for 2 hours in a 4°C room not able to stop or i'd have lost count of the procedure steps#then back outside where it was over 30°C. then went back to 4°C for more procedures#then more work requiring almost surgical precision#not only this but lab mates confronted me about a weird person literally telling to my face she'd kill my mother#yeah that's right. someone like this exists and of course i have to deal with them. she thought it was funny to say#labmate (grad student? phd student?) told me how she was horrified at the comment. as well as everyone else#we had a bit of a talk. i'm lucky i ended up where these people are. i feel somewhat safe. seen even#they say i'm strong and have a powerful aura despite my perception of myself. and they couldn't believe how solid i was at that comment#they don't know what i've put up with till now. i can handle myself and they see this. they still chose to stand up for me#it feels nice. part of me will always feel i don't deserve it or it's not real and they talk behind my back probably#but it's nice to witness. it feels genuine. maybe they do see me and like what they see both work and person wise#and it's reassuring. so anyway i'm tired#gonna look for something to eat and i#and i'll chill. hopefully nothing stressful happens. if it does i won't guarantee my nerves of steel to work more today. lol
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when the competition is making me cry in 10 seconds and your opponents are my parents
#bro wow this has to be some kindof personal record twice in one day#morning for mom evening for dad#did thy talk aboit it discuss it that you take these points I'll take these we'll be done in 10 secs flat#i don't understand what's happening period is over but i still can't stop crying i cried yesterday too#it usually is like numb numb numb period week numb again#but why won't it kick in this time#he's just so fucking efficient man wow#literally he said 3 things in 10 seconds and the dam opened#first he shouted about something and i tried to defend myself but then he got soo mad and even tho i hd a perfectly#reasonable exception i had to shut up and accept my mistake because at that point i was already on the verge of crying#and i knew if i dragged it out i wouldn't be able to say another word without bursting and then he'd get even more mad for crying in public#and embarassing him#and then it was about something related to my brother and he was like#talk to him properly what's wrong with you he's going to go away in a few months then will you ever even see him#which fuck is such a big fear of mine something that's already made me cry because ive fucked it up#and he hates me now and i think we'll never reconcile he thinks we should be the kind of siblings who meet on festivals and that's it#and i tried to like bond more but he just hates the entire family and wants to leave us behind no exceptions#and then in the same breath dad is like your sister is already gone abhi dikhti hai kya aas paas#like bitch?? could you be less efficient what the fuck that was the killing blow#i went from confused to trying to not cry so fast like fuck she's the only person in the world who made living with you#bearable of fucking course i notice she's not here i miss her all the time#like yeah just tell me i will keep losing everyone why don't you see if i can hear it without breaking down#and i just felt so fucking helpless like can't stand up for myself because i will lose and i have to play the long game#take his money get my education but fuck man the education i can't breathe under the pressure of it all his demand#for full tests and these fucking subjects im not made for this and trying to do it all alone because he#shifted us here in the middle of nowhere no friends and yesterday he was like oh yeah we'll move back home im bored now#like fucking hell man how many times will you do this? already did it when i was 15#and on top of that mom is complaining about him to me like bitch you won't leave him you'll make#us suffer through hell because you're a coward and you want me to console you?#god fuck this i hope he dies i hope she dies i hope we all die
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worked out today for the first time in ages and it felt so fucking good im convinced im re-entering my gym rat era
#the upper body pump hits so fucking hard for a person with a weird gender such as myself#i think i have like a reverse body dysmorphia where i see myself with a little baby pump and I'm convinced i look fucking huge#and I'm like HELL YEAH :D whole time it's barely perceptible lmao#i need to chase this feeling i am really no better than a man the way im convinced i can fix my mental health through weightlifting#actually it is one of my fav things to listen to a dnp video in there while im lifting#and there gets a point where i have to lock in to get through a set and i have to stop thinking#i actually love that feeling so much it's like crack to an overthinker like me#like the last 2-3 reps when I have to tell myself ok i need to stfu now because i won't be able to get through this set if I'm thinking#so then I'm just pure listening to daniphiw with absolutely no thoughts in my head...... i think that's what nirvana is#and then flex in the bathroom at the gym and convince myself i look brolic lmao#im in such an impish mood right now those endorphins hit hard as fuck today#anyway i should maybe go to sleep soon because daylight savings goodnight gay ppl in my phone
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51/100 in a group project where I was definitely a contributing factor to us losing marks (even if I wasn't the sole factor) I LOVE COLLEGE I LOVE IT HERE /j
#ramblings of a lunatic#i feel so bad. i was editor on our video project and this is the one where my hard drive just completely shat itself#just completely got ruined and stopped me being able to make the project i wanted to#i wish I'd just been able to scrounge us enough marks in the edit to at least scrape a 60#but it was so bad and the material i had to work with was troubled and it was just a big mess#and i want to redo it from scratch before wr have to broadcast it but im afraid i won't find the time#but i hate it sm. i had all my groupmates fate in my hands and i fuckin fumbled it!!!#killing myself. whatever
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Are u ok now? I'm really concerned abt u I hope ur doing well now
I am doing my best ❤️❤️ Currently, I'm not in the streets (which is where I expected to stay indefinitely), the person who kicked out my family and me was nice enough to offer to pay a very cheap hotel for a month and, while yes the elevator totally smells like weed, there's a public library within walking distance so I pass most of my days there
Beggars can't be choosers and all that, so I'm going to be freeloading at a relative's house come next week... a very uncomfortable arrangement where I will have even less opportunity to be on the laptop... but again, beggars can't be choosers
#I fear nothing#only that I won't be able to write as much as I want#I just wish everything would stop sucking and for life to actually start giving me lemons at least I know what to make of those#every day I repeat to myself the covid mantra ANDRA TUTTO BENE
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