#I adore their altmode so much

[hexingneon]

WOOO NIGHTSHADE

Version without the yellow lighting under the cut because my brain can't decided which is better

[my-writings-and-musings]

Who's ready for some more Earthspark appreciation and Bumblebee simping?

Here's a favorite moment of mine regarding Bee being an absolute badass in episode 18, because I adore how his capacity to be a dork is only matched by his ability to take names.

Spoilers under the cut below, plus a criminal amount of Bumblebee thirst!

So we get RIGHT into it with Bee in the arena, looking pretty worn down already but possibly more determined than we've ever seen him. It's a pretty big shock after his absence for the past few episodes to say the least!!

He takes a nasty hit to the jaw, yet recovers swiftly, putting his defenses back up even when it's clear he's not doing so good. You can see him forcing himself to focus through the pain and it breaks my heart every time because MY BOY

But then you get a look at who he's fighting, and everything gets so much worse. Brawl is easily a third taller and at least twice as heavily built, complete with some built in weapons that would only take one solid hit to end the entire fight. It very quickly becomes apparent this is a fight of strength versus speed, but neither side is especially lacking in either.

Bumblebee dodges effectively, narrowly missing some MAJOR hits while getting in a few of his own, and actually proves strong enough to hold both of Brawl's fists at bay. You can see he's struggling, but if not for a well aimed headbutt from the bigger bot he might have held him off!

They exchange more hits, with Bee landing quite a few out of sheer athleticism (if someone could GIF these scenes I'd be eternally grateful because pics do NOT do them justice) before he's hurled to the ground and Brawl makes it VERY clear this is a fight to the finish. Bee reacts accordingly.

After dodging a number of near stabbings, he transforms and utilizes his altmode, taking out one of Brawl's legs before transforming back and trying to make use of his Stinger... which he remembers (and we learn) far too late has been disabled. This gives Brawl enough of an opening to grab Bee and CRACK HIM OVER HIS KNEE LIKE HE'S FREAKING BANE. But does that stop our boy?! Not for more than a few seconds, and he picks himself up JUST in time to stop what would have been a possibly fatal hit.

Then, after enduring all that damage and exhaustion, he manages to end the fight by HURLING BRAWL OVER HIS HEAD AND CRACKING HIM DOWN ON THE CEMENT LIKE HOW???!?!!

There's no sense of victory though, just Brawl getting hauled away and Bee looking utterly exhausted, his frame seizing up before he collapses from it all... You can tell he's had a rough go of it after having to leave, and the expression he makes when Brawl is hauled off just hammers in the tragedy. He doesn't want to fight any of these bots! Which sucks even more, because his only immediate reward for surviving this fight is to endure another.

Look at him I know he's three times my height but I need to COMFORT HIM

Thankfully he's reunited with the Maltos, and after enduring even MORE suffering, complete with a shattered arm and nearly having the literal life drained out of him, what does our Scout need more than anything?

A nap.

Sleep tight my beautiful prince.

I think of this scene frequently, can you tell? I definitely didn't have a great time watching Bee display a ridiculous amount of athletic prowess or anything, just, you know, appreciating a good character on a good show... Because this may be my favorite Bee and my favorite piece of Transformers media, and the bar is HIGH.

Please feel free to share your Bee thoughts, I have accepted I simply can't get enough, and my inbox is fully open for Earthspark requests.

[dcont]

"I follow the one simple principle: protect my people and destroy everybody who tries harm them"

Yeah, FINALLY I have finished design of my main OC from TF IDW1 AU. It took so much time, but it's worth this! So, I happy to introduce you…

Kaor (the final syllable is stressed) of Polyhex, she/her.

Ex-miner, her body and altmode was changed in the middle of the Great War. Decepticon soldier, who is very loyal to Megatron.

Despite her brutal appearance, she is very frendly person. But her friendliness has exceptions - Starscream and other treacherous 'cons. Although, if even Starscream needs support in a battle, Kaor will help without any questions. The deal is more important than personal relationships.

She's very protective of her friends and family and takes a lot care about them, often in aggressive way - she easy starts argue or fight if it needs to defense them. Kaor's very emotional and expressive. She speaks loudly and uses a lot swear words: for instance, her usual motivational speech is like

"You've got this and everybody'll be fucking surprised!"

Loves to touch other people and adores hugs :D

Hobby: playing cards, doing cardistry and card magic, collecting and telling jokes and anecdotes (yeah, she is comediant).

[thicctails]

I have an Easter treat for y'all! A sneak peek of Chapter 11 of De spatio inter astra :3

This is Miko's segment:

Miko was no longer Miko.

Entropy. That’s what the adults called her. They called her other things, too, like chaos-bringer and little warrior, but those weren’t designations.

Or, perhaps they were, for someone who wasn’t her.

The Sparkling thought about that, about strange designations and even stranger bots, and dipped her head back down to scoop up another mouthful of the delicious, filling metal that the loud Seeker had brought back for her, looking very proud of himself as he’d bestowed the gift upon the young one. She held the metal in her mouth and let the heat from her belly flow up her throat, chuffing happily as it bubbled and melted, sliding down into her tanks and leaving her feeling fuller than she could remember ever being.

Either way, she was Entropy now, though the name still tasted strange on her glossa and didn’t quite stick in her processor like Miko had. It wasn’t a bad designation by any means, and she liked it, really! But, Miko had been… her. It was what Jack, Raf and Cody had called her, it was what was whispered to her in her fuzzy dreams and even fuzzier memories, calling her to the brink of remembrance. It was what she called herself.

But she had no way of telling her new guardians that. They couldn’t understand her, not in the way her brothers could. They did not hear her language, and she could not will her glossa to form their complex words. They were locked in a state of passable communication, unable to truly speak but capable of getting across what they needed to.

Hadn’t… hadn’t she been able to before?

The Femme paused, denta only a hairsbreadth away from the next bite of her meal. She looked at her potential Sire and Carrier, watching as they spoke in soft, happy tones. Breakdown noticed her staring and gave her a warm smile, his red optics shining with adoration as he reached out and gently caressed the space between her wings

Miko- Entropy could have sworn that she’d been able to speak like them, had been able to make thoughts into words that everyone had been able to hear. She’d spoken to… someone. Someone much bigger than her, with kind, blue optics and gentle servos. Images of green plating shining in a beam of sunlight and a deep laugh that she could feel with her whole body wavered in her processor like mist, present enough that she could catch glimpses, but never tangible enough to grasp.

She frowned, appetite waning as frustration rippled through her frame. Pulling away from Breakdown’s touch, Entropy transformed out of her altmode, wincing as the action pulled at her healing injuries. The Sparkling rubbed at her face, growling softly.

“What’s the matter, sweetspark?” Knock Out questioned, giving the Femme his full attention.

Entropy shrugged, tail flicking with agitation. She hated not being able to remember her life before her imprisonment. Honestly, she would have preferred it if she’d forgotten it entirely, at least then she’d be ignorant to the fact that there had even been a before to forget.

The Predacon huffed and walked towards the edge of the counter she’d been eating on, chirping at the older Cybertronians as she pointed towards the door. If she wasn’t going to eat, Entropy would rather go and explore instead of sitting around and doing nothing. She’d been feeling so energized lately, beyond grateful that she could move without her frame aching, or having to fight just to lift her head, and she’d seen so little of the world.

“Oh, you want to go for a walk? Alright, my litte star, we’ll take a quick stroll up to the navigation deck, but I want you to finish your ore when we get back. You’re still so skinny…” Knock Out fussed, scooping Entropy up and depositing her into his subspace. Entropy poked her helm out, fins perking up in excitement as some of her previous anger melted away.

She loved the navigation deck. It could be a little overwhelming, as there were usually many bots present in the space, but the fact that she could see outside made it all worth it.

The sky had enchanted her the first time she’d seen it. It had been her third day in this new place, and Knock Out had been keeping a much closer optic on her after she’d wandered away to explore and had ended up finding herself within Starscream’s nest, drawn by the warmth of his chassis. Since she couldn’t be left unsupervised, the medic had taken Mi- Entropy with him as he went to speak with Soundwave, who was confirming the location of another Energon mine. The Decepticon TIC had expressed a desire to see their newest addition, since he’d only witnessed the Sparkling in the throws of panic and agony.

Entropy had been happy enough to go somewhere new, but that feeling had been totally eclipsed by sheer, unbridled awe as she saw the night sky with her own optics, separated only by the glass of the huge windows that lined the room. She had memories of the sight, but they were as faded and foggy as the ones she’d seen today, not allowing her to truly know what her optics had once beheld.

It had seemed infinite to Entropy, a vast, dark expanse that cradled a thousand bright, twinkling stars within itself. Though it seemed wholly black at first, when Knock Out, upon seeing her obvious interest, brought her closer she began to see hues of blue and purple woven into the inky void. The navigation room was bathed in silver that night, lit by the gentle light of an enormous moon that shone brighter than all the stars combined. It had reminded her of her clutchmate’s optics, the ivory glow bringing tears to her own.

Today, though, the cool night had been replaced by the vibrant day, the sky coloured with a gradient of blue, fluffy, white clouds occasionally rolling over the glass and leaving behind drops of water that streamed upwards and out of sight. The Femme cooed in delight as she watched the shimmering drops race each other, smiling when Breakdown lifted her up and placed her on his shoulders so that she could see better. A thick cloud suddenly washed over the glass, dark and moist with rain. The rain splattered against the glass, fat drops crashing down so hard it almost sounded like thunder.

…thunder? What was-

“Come on Bulkhead, it’s just a little rain!”

“Miko, it’s pouring out there! It’s not safe!”

Miko laughed and leapt into another puddle. Her and Bulkhead had been out on a simple patrol when the sky had decided that the dry, desert earth deserved some rain today. It was a rare sight in Nevada, and Miko herself had only seen it rain here once before, and it certainly hadn’t been coming down as hard as it was now. So, obviously, she had launched herself out of Bulkhead’s cab the first chance she had gotten. She could see herself reflected in the Autobot’s armour, skin glistening with rain and hair plastered to her face and neck, her clothes now sodden and dripping. Usually, the sensation of wet hair and clothes against her skin would bother her, but the rain was warm and her excitement easily overtook any discomfort.

“Pshh. What, you scared of thunder or something?” She’d teased, resting her hands on her hips as she arched a brow at her partner.

“…”

“What?! Seriously? Dude, you’re like, ginormous! Plus, thunder can’t hurt you, it’s just the sound lightning makes, or something like that. Raf explained it to me once, but I wasn’t paying that much attention.”

She’d been shocked by the silent admission. Bulkhead, her Bulkhead, scared of something loud? That couldn’t be right; the two of them had caused explosions that were far louder than any thunder she’d ever heard.

“I know, but… we didn’t have thunder on Cybertron. There was rain, but it was made of acid and could melt any bot unfortunate enough to get caught out in it. The first time I ever heard it was a few weeks after we landed on Earth. Heh, I thought the ‘cons had found us at first, and even Prime got spooked when it started to rain.”

The thought of Optimus freaking Prime being scared of a little water was almost as unbelievable as her big green guardian being frightened by thunder, but as she took in what Bulkhead said, Miko began to understand. She imagined herself in his place, lost on an alien world that looked nothing like her home, surrounded by sounds that reminded her of war and fearing that the planet she’d landed on was about to shower her in acid. It must have been terrifying.

“Really? Huh… Well, don’t worry Bulk, I’ll keep you safe from any nasty thunder!” She’d promised enthusiastically, walking up to Bulkhead and placing a comforting hand on his leg as a flash of lightning illuminated the horizon, a clap of thunder rolling out across the vast desert soon after. Miko found that she no longer found the rain as delightful as she once had. Perhaps Nevada’s sparse rainfall was a blessing to the ‘bots, its rarity making it so they seldom had to worrythat the liquid would suddenly scald and melt them.

“Thanks Miko. I know you always have my back.” Bulkhead replied, giving her a fond look. He scooped her up into his hand and transformed back into his alt mode, blasting the girl with warm air and heating up her seat so that she wouldn’t catch a cold. “Come on, let’s head on back before Ratchet has a fit and starts ranting about me gett’n rusty…”

Entropy stared hard at the rain and tried not to tremble, her processor whirling in confusion as she tried to understand the first truly clear memory of her life from before the dark place. She looked at her servo, watched as the dark metal shifted and moved as she curled her digits, their curved points scratching against her palm. She looked at it, and wondered, for the first time, why it was like that. She pressed her claws in slightly deeper, and something within her felt sick when the metal did not yield to the pressure.

Where had her skin gone?

Miko- (no, no!) Entropy looked down at her frame, touching the beginnings of what would be her armour. The others often praised her for it; saying that she’d be a formidable warrior with an impenetrable hide someday, that she’d be healthy and strong soon, and that her first colours would show themselves after her armour formed. She pressed on it, but it did not give beneath the pressure like it had before, back when her tanks had never been full and her wounds always bled.

But it had before even then, hadn’t it?

Entropy was sharp and unyielding, Miko was soft and squishy,

Miko had memories of blue and rain, Entropy knew only red and fire.

Both had bled, but what flowed from torn flesh and what dripped from gouged wires were two entirely different things.

Entropy was a Predacon.

Miko was… had been…

Entropy looked at the glass again, and saw a face she knew belonged to her, and yet it was so wholly alien that it made her tanks churn and her frame rattle with pure, primal terror.

She didn’t know this creature.

She knew her better than anyone ever could.

She was not this being.

She once had worn her skin, spoke with her voice, looked with her eyes, and bled her blood.

She was Entropy

She was Miko.

She was both and neither, whole yet separate. The face she saw was both hers and someone that had died screaming back in that dark, dark place, ripped apart and put back together by the same holy being that lay trapped within the jaws of a sacrilegious machine.

Entropy touched her cheek, and felt that it was wet. She glanced up, wondering for a moment if perhaps the glass had broken, but soon felt another warm tear run over her claw.

She missed the warm rain and the lightning and the thunder that rolled across a desert that she’d seen a thousand times in her dreams. She wanted it back. She wanted the life that had been taken from her back.

Entropy wanted to be Miko again.

[nulluxe]

finished watching earthspark and jus ??? im so in love but so so confused. like what in the hell was going on with the writing direction ??? novastorm being thundercracker 2.0 (and being alive), breakdown suddenly being Yeah I’m Alive Too and nobody talking abt it especially after his absolutely heartbreaking episode??? whatever the fuck was going on with quintus prime and everything else ??

good god this is not a hate post I love es so so much but I feel like the second part was weirdly rushed??

editing to clarify: that in part is probably thanks to paramount/hasbro (?) and the poor treatment the crew received. tho this is allegations from what I’ve seen, though. the track record isn’t the greatest, considering what the tfp crew were also reportedly going through.

continuing on, it feels like a lot of characters were tossed in and quickly tossed out to get the plot moving, with little to no time to breathe. the inconsistencies with witwicky getting exploded particularly bothered me, because grimlock wrecked the shit out of the town and ended up not getting on GHOST’s radar, but shockwave did??

where the fuck is ravage?? where is frenzy and lazerbeak??? where the hell is my boy tarantulas, why did we get that flashback ‘teasing’ (putting in quotations, as it may have just been an easter egg) some of the og cast for that only to go nowhere? soundwave getting cucked constantly also bothered me because. oh my god. pls don’t waste his potential.

shrug. im still excited for s2, and i sincerely hope I’m just overreacting and everything will solve itself with season 2, as im enjoying all the silliness that comes with the episodes, but gah Damn does it need improvement

((also!! going to speak positively as we all need that. schloder is the funniest fucking character fight me, that scene where he put on screamo metal, said ‘what? optimus loves my playlist’ and immediately getting hit by him in altmode is the funniest shit ever, I adore the sheer goofiness of all of the decepticons, like. tarantulas, starscream, and kinda shockwave all just ?? falling in love with their respective terrans just bc of the,,, small,,, ounce of kindness??? love that shit. also the screamer trauma acknowledgement?? in my 2023???? amazing. showstopping ))

[transingthoseformers]

Imagining minimus expecting a sparkling with swerve.

He continues wearing the magnus armour for as long as he can, until he pops and it no longer fits. His regular armour doesn't fit him either because of his hips that have grown wider. He's stuck in his irreducible form because none of his armour can fit over his belly. It's embarassing for him.

Swerve makes sure that his mate knows how much he is loved and cared for. He gives in to every little craving, he tells minimus he's handsome every day, he's totally whipped. He calls minimus 'mr mom' and minimus doesn't understand it. Swerve talks to the belly constantly, and he cries so hard when he feels the sparkling kick for him. He loves their baby so much, even before they're born.

The later stage of the carrying cycle is hard on minimus. His whole body aches and aches. He ends up transforming into turbofox mode to try to ease the sprain on his hips. Swerve is gentle with minimus when he's in this form. Minimus sprawls across his lap, and swerve strokes his smooth plating to reassure him of his love. They share an easy intimacy like this.

Minimus still works. Some mechs are absolutely partying it up and then the door slams open to reveal minimus. Minimus is very small and is heavily carrying at this point but paid time off is not in his vocabulary. Minimus waddles in, and while he points out how many rules that this party is breaking, the mechs partying have trouble not laughing because minimus is so big and pregnant. Swerve hears about this and gets tailgate to beat their asses.

Minimus goes into labour at work. He doesn't even realize it because he's so damn busy until his contractions are so bad that he can't walk or move. Velocity carries him fireman style to the medbay. Swerve absolutely panics. Minimus just looks at him, high on pain meds, and gently grasps his hand and tells him to calm down.

Their daughter is green, red, and chunky. They call her vesta, but uncle rodimus and tailgate call her salsa lol.

Ooooo! That would be interesting, and I'm betting has one hell of a story behind it

Makes sense makes sense

Oh Swerve is absolutely in full spoiling mode, w Swerve w Swerve

Mr mom yesss

Minimus having to go into turbofox mode for the latter half of the carrying period has to be interesting considering how the parent/offspring ratio is different between well let's say a human and a canine (though for turbofoxes it could be entirely different, and in mecha with turbofox altmodes it's very probably different) so methinks he's gonna be feeling a bit like a pop can on legs

aww adorable

Why do i get the vibe that during this Minimus is more strict (i say as if he isn't usually strict, but i mean. More strict)

He is just a little guy well into the process of making another little guy🥰

Sfgdsd plus he's protected by yet another little guy who is not afraid to sic one of the other little guys on you (as well as that little guy's scary conjunx and their whateverthehell)

of course minimus of course.

Velocity ftw hauling aft to the medbay with Mins

"Calm down" babygirl you kiwi bird analogy ass, you are having a child

Vesta sounds so cute like. ohh. Salsa indeed lol

[whatudottu]

Ah yes, the two types of systems:

The Blitzwing Transformers Animated, who has alters who each have uniquely distinct appearances to the point of barely looking like the same person but are named after adjectives that describe their personality/powers in one word

And the Mike Total Drama, who has alters who have actual distinct names that still suit their personalities but all look the exact same but with different hairstyles even in headspace

(Helps that I like to headcanon Blitzwing having a very vivid and elaborate headspace where “everything is beautiful and nothing hurts” given how he’s been implied to be the creative type meanwhile Mike’s headspace canonically just looks like the inside of his brain)

As much canon it is as a Mock-Reality TV that uses diegetic cameras to have recordings of someone's headspace is at least-

I bet given the faces of the 3 hosts, Icy, Hothead, and Random would probably have their own bot looks, ones that match the altmodes they prefer; Icy of course sporting a jet (either a larger Cybertronian jet in comparison to Private's or the Earth jet he scans), Hothead with his tank, and Random being closer to the body's appearance as jet AND tank given that no one else claims it and HE was the one to convince Icy and Hothead to scan both Earth alts. And idk, maybe they also got their flash of colour where purple would be on Blitzwing's body, just to make them further appear different. I think it was the disagreement on altmode scanning that makes the system seem MORE like a system than as 3 exaggerated moods of the one guy, but they work well enough together to probably all be co-hosts of another-

The Mike Squad however... I do so adore how each of them has a personality and are considered to be very real (excluding their mistreatment in All-Stars and how Mal was handled), but like the only one that vaguely had their own look was Vito and that was only really because the body slicked their hair back and the terrifying implications that being shirtless triggers an alter to front. I mean, wouldn't it have been so cool to see Svetlana rocking a whole gymnast look? To have Chester be fully decked out in grandpa gear with a wrinkly face to match? Surely Manitoba would look much snazzier with a full Indiana Johns meets Crocodile Dundee outfit?

Part of me just thinks this is a(n unintentional) spoof of how Reality TV is a little scripted here and there, since though this wasn't the first time we the audience (and the audience of the in-universe show of Total Drama) get to see inside the contestants heads, it's certainly just... a LOT of headspace footage that would be unable to record plus the system's body just dressing and/or fronting as each alter-

God I wanna just try and draw up both systems alter's full appearance, Mike Squad might be easier because they all (seem to) present as humans but at least Blitzwing has some faces to reference for the hosting trio- can't promise anything but... haha!

[luciolefire]

Just gonna drop my guesses for what's happening in the next Earthspark episodes...

(Warning: I've already seen leaked clips of most of 11 and 13 and some of 12, so my theories for those are just guesses on what happens in between the gaps in the clips.)

11 / Hashtag Oops: [I've seen basically all of this episode by now SKFSDS... not much I can theorize on]

12 / Outtakes: Some cool backstory to Elita's, Megatron's, and maybe Bee's altmodes! And Jawbreaker being a precious boi.

13 / Missed Connection: possible allusion to Nightshade struggling with depression? It was mentioned by someone who had seen the episode, but I'm beginning to doubt whether it's true.

14 / Security Protocols: This one's got a theme of racing, AND Breakdown shows up?! If there's ever a time for Mr. Smelt to reveal that he's actually KO, it's now.

15 / Bear Necessities: Not many thoughts on this, it seems more like a cute filler episode :)

16 / Warzone: Megatron PTSD? Also, Shockwave reveal!! I don't think he's really dead in that one clip, it seems more like they find him stuck in stasis and then accidentally realive him. I can't wait to see the flashback clips, Bee looks absolutely adorable aaaa

17/18 / Home: My guess is that after sneaking into the city, the kids and Terrans find some kind of illegal Cybertronian fighting ring. This could lead to all sorts of mayhem, especially because Grimlock seems to be controlled by something rather than acting on his own free will. Also hoping this is the episode where Jawbreaker gets his altmode, since it talks about it in the next episode!

[bookandyarndragon]

Perchance To Dream: And of course, SG!Shockwave created SG!Predaking.

Shockwave (in both universes) created Predaking's spark by splicing his (very inadviable) in attempt to find a way to create new sparks without the Matrix/Allspark, so they have a split-spark connection similiar to twins like Dreadwing & Skyquake. Shockwave's spark could support a predacon because he's a point-one percenter like IDW Minimus. Not yet sure how to justify a treaded vehicle's spark making a dragon baby, since i usually have the spark determine the altmode and iirc that's also what canon says. Not going to do the weird CNA thing.

There was no Great Cataclysm in the SG universe (i generally headcanon it as a cover story for genocide anyway). So predacons instead died out much later when the weakening Allspark lost its ability to create large sparks (also when titans like Nemesis stopped being born). The Well continued petering out, which is why cold-construction had to eventually be invented. But this means the modern-day bots, while most or all of them were born after that, already know the predacons were people.

So SG!Predaking gets to be a baby. He grows up normally and not in an acceleration capsule like his baseline universe counterpart, learns to transform at a young age but prefers being a dragon, and is loved and cuddled and taken care of like any other baby, and sheltered from the war as much as the other SG!Cons can. He's sweet and energetic, doesn't want to fight, likes hugs and sunning on Nemesis' deck, and also likes being petted and scratched (especially on the chin and behind the horns). SG!Predaking is pretty sheltered and innocent because SG!Shockwave, while a good father, is a little overprotective and would die if anything bad happened to his precious baby. So SG!Predaking kind of grew up to be really cautious and and risk-avoidant, and can be a little disoriented and anxious in unfamiliar situations (but he's getting over it with time).

The whole crew loves him, nobody has seen a sparkling in so long (many thought they never would again) and he's such an adorable darling. He's also a (scientific) miracle baby whose birth means hope — they're not going extinct, and they don't even need the Allspark or even the Matrix (which are lost or in Autobot hands). Many SG!Decepticons propably cried when they first met him. SG!Shockwave propably also teared up when he held his baby for the first time. So many draconic baby pictures.

While their relationship is platonic, SG!Shockwave and SG!Starscream are very close (amicas), and SG!Starscream is practically SG!Predaking's other dad.

Baby Preds being a shy sweet baby bean!

[pastelpaperplanes]

Big Ol Ask Post Pt. 3 I think

I haven’t drawn anything other than cursed or plain technical stuff w him 😔😔 have these for now but expect more soon!

anon a way back asked what he’d look like next to Overlord being already so big compared to Megs, that’s why you see Lordie if you’re wondering why he’s thrown in that line up!

by the way I have a voice claim for the big purple simp— Jenner from NIMH, he’s so awful but that suave baritone oh it fits too well >:] it’s the ‘humble servant’ line that got to me

Yep! Pharma is absolutely in this AU—as well as the CFau and Crack one too—and in all, he’s still an estranged medic long since booted from any legal work back on Cybertron.

He lost his credibility and more all those years ago when he found himself willing to do his fair share of cutting corners and hastily concealed malpractice to expedite his dream of getting his name down in the medical books—ultimately impressing his dear Mentor Ratchet, finally, in perfecting long-since banned risky experiments and surgeries—not to mention cruel and unusual temperament with the (supposedly) taboo practice of non-medicinal mnemosurgery.

His ambitions and aggression always got the bet of him, this hasn’t changed since he found himself working in freelance outposts. Light years away from Cybertron, he’s made a name for himself as a Good Doctor—but to his under-the-table black market part-dealing clients, he’s just about as bad as a Crooked Medic can get.

Bounty hunters and Arms Dealers like him for his business, a certain DJD member likes him for the occasional berth company and seemingly never ending supply of fresh T-Cogs—but no one actually likes him for his nasty temperamental personality, save for a young and naive Ratchet once upon a time.

Pharma is a roamer, as of recent he’s been a hard to reach mech—seems as if he’s found a little project to keep himself pretty occupied in the last few decades—something about a breakthrough for aiding the Decepticon Energon Crisis :] him and a small, horrifyingly cheerful surgeon are well on their way to completing their first trial batches, it’s safe to say that their little synthetic mixture will have it’s users sated and compliant.

they’ve got that amazing ‘new car smell’ those first few weeks, and instead of chittering like an Insecticons or vibrating their wings like a seeker—they beep and squeak, sometimes even honk a horn depending on the baseline altmode coding, to get their Creators’ attention before their vocalizer truly starts to kick online

It’s cute, but loud

Much like a seeker sparkling, they have to reach a certain ‘age’ (upgrade) to be able to transform completely, in between then they’re still able to rev those engines as a warning should they need it, as well as spin their wheels should they need a getaway HEELIES IF THEYRE LUCKY WOOHOOOOO—for seekers they can hover on their thrusters!

Crusade is actually pretty formal with Megatron. But yeah as a kid, Megs was always known as Carrier, but as Sadie got older and more aware of their surroundings—they definitely came to learn the true weight of that title and the fact that they were the progeny of the faction leader, a fact they should have really held onto with more pride. Not wanting to draw more attention to the already blatant favoritism (and nepotism) Crusade made a switch to addressing Megatron as Sir, My Lord, Lord Megatron, —ect. to better fit in with their fellow troops.

It bothers Megatron more than than he lets on. Crusade shouldn’t have to hide their high ranking as his child, the heir to the faction. Megs is their Carrier and can only order them around for so long, as their Leader however—pulling rank may just allow for their infuriatingly stubborn sparkling to listen to them should a day come where even a Carrier’s plea is dismissed.

Crusade does slip up every now and then and a ‘Carrier’ will slip—often hushed and annoyed though as Megs does like to tease every now and then, gotta remind them that they’re still his baby every once in a while :’)

Optimus however—whenever him and Crusade should truly reunite, will never be called Sire by Crusade, which they so heatedly established early on—Crusade never needed one and they don’t need one now, better to not let the title trigger those long-suppressed emotions. Sure enough though Optimus will get his moment.

actually no lmfao so you’re good! Eh, I haven’t mentioned much plot w them outside of them and Megs, plus bits of potential interactions with Optimus—so the rest of Team Prime is free game :D

For what I (hopefully will have) planned, their interactions with team Prime will be eh,,,interesting to each their own to say the least. Some more stressful than others BUT let’s not get into that until I’ve worked it out—for now I’ll just mention what they’re dynamics would be like when the drama of Oh Shit Boss Bot You’ve Been Hiding a Kid For HOW LONG has died down.

A usually touch-wary Crusade actually is the one to initiate a hug with Bulkhead, he’s the biggest and warmest and somehow is always happy to see them. Plus he tells cool recaps of Earth films and gifts them strange blobish paintings every now and then, all of which Crusade doesn’t exactly understand, but at least the colors are pretty.

Bee is annoying,,,which is what Crusade would say if confronted if they actually liked all the shenanigans Bee suggest they pull together, prank wars to the max, sparring for fun, video games?, DOUGHNUTS and RACES in the fortress halls??? Ahem. they are a super serious soldier, not a hooligan. But honestly, Bee is the one they seek out the most should they need an adventure, they missed out on a lot of this ‘fun’ growing up on the Nemesis—Bee seems to know how to balance a day of soldiering and dumbassery. sometimes.

Ratchet reminds them a bit too much of their Carrier than they’d care to admit. The medic is an old soul to his very core, perpetually tired but quick to snap into work mode, and sweet if you reallllllly squint. Sadie has been taught from day one to always respect medics, Ratchet obviously takes the cake on I’ve Seen Some Shit and for that alone Crusade both fears and admires Ratchet. Again, growing up on the Nemesis they didn’t have too many bots willing to talk much with them—but Ratchet (after he’s gone through his own lot of therapy, him AND Arcee. good lord) has a never ending pile of stories to share with them. Ratchet may throw in a few more colorful curses than necessary—which is SURPRISING bc Crusade thought they’d heard them all back home, but he’s entertaining and tells Crusade how it is, no sugarcoating. For that Crusade is grateful, there’s been too many half-truths thrown about to them in their recent years :’)

Ghost Prowl freaks them out—why does he deliberately have to be so sneaky?? Crusade has only met Prowl a fleeting handful of times (visits from the Allspark come with meaning, you know) and each time Crusade has been given nothing but odd riddles and poetic nonsense. Kidding. Prowl does like his wordplay’s but his given advice is always well meaning—the most firm and direct message Crusade has been passed though was probably most definitely “ Get those two cowards for mecha you call your Creator’s to stop fooling around with each other and SPEAK—at this rate it’s physically paining me that they haven’t begun Ritus and they’re not getting any younger”

Team Prime adores Sadie, they ask Megatron to see their sparkling photos every chance they catch him. And Crusade. hates it.

:) have

We’ve been here before, haven’t we?

[rawmeknockout]

who's your fave character to write for? 👀👀👀👀

my fave character to write for changes all the time i used to do a TON of swerve and have a lot of swerve ideas and im not really 'burnt out' on him per se but ive explored his character so much in terms of romance/smut that i feel im rehashing the same ideas and i think a fresh perspective would help

im a sucker for rodimus i have a soft side for arrogant people irl and crush hard on anyone who is just way too confident but i love how he is soft and really cares about people too bc i can relate to that i have so much love for rodimus even if he is a shallow bastard and makes poor decisions for his own ego, i feel like theres a lot of room for improvement there esp if he had someone as his opposite (cough rival cough) to push on him and force him to think outside his own worldview im a big dork for rivals to lovers tho its like enemies to lovers but enemies generally start off VERY antagonistic and rivals are generally antagonistic yes but have room for an underlying respect and admiration and wiggle room to how they could interact as friends

someone i never get requests for but love immensely with my whole heart is bumblebee all bumblebees (i even have a soft spot for bayverse but i will NEVER touch those movies i dont want them within the bi county area stay away from me) i have loved bee since i was a kid bc the first transformers i watched was tfa and i loved characters like jack spicer and bee and other such overconfident jerks with a soft side as ive explored other series that love for bee has only grown i love him when hes a bold leader who wants to earn respect but treats even his enemies with kindness and i love him when he's a scout who gets into trouble bc hes just too gentle and weak i have so many thoughts about bumblebee i love him lots i could go on and on about the different bees (and their relationships with starscream ill die on this hill) hes always such a gentle good guy and deserves the whole world i dont care if transformers is overrun with bumblebee content i want MORE

i also love to write cheetor but strictly beast wars and cyberverse cheetor i feel only terror with beast machines cheetor im a big sucker for anything that has a likeness to cats and the fact that his alt mode is a cheetah i think is so cool im a cat lady through and through i love cat mugs and posters and slippers so ofc one of my fave robots has to be the cat one which also brings up ravage whom i adore in a different way than cheetor they are complete opposites in many regards but they are both loyal which is a quality i treasure in any character or person i think the most interesting thing about ravages story (particularly idw here) is that he is essentially a man with a body that makes others see him as a creature rather than a person i like that the writers took the time to think about all the altmodes the decepticons have and how their original functions made them sympathetic to megatrons cause

i also like writing for rumble and frenzy (all the cassetticons really) although i have a hard time bc two of my friends are big cassette fans and i want to portray them in a way that they would when it comes to transformers or any fandom imma be honest and say,,,,,,,,, ive hardly looked at the source material i havent read much and i havent watched much i saw big sexy robots and i was hooked and i love the story but,,,,,,,,,,, theres no way my attention span would allow me to read a full range of comics man i dont have that in me

other than that i dont want to say that im clinical in how i approach characters but im technical and i know them in a general sense and expand upon them in a way i feel a real person with specific personality traits would act i want them to feel more in depth than just a one or two dimensional character i want to write them in various situations bc deep down we all are just,,,,,, love creatures we all love and we all love to be loved

[my-writings-and-musings]

Rodimus/Reader

My first commission from an awesome person!

Rodimus takes his human SO on a drive to a lovely lookout, where they proceed to have fun with his holomatter avatar.

Very considerable Lemon, Reader uses she/her pronouns and has cis female anatomy.

The soft padding of the faux leather seat beneath you was butter smooth and polished to a sheen one might usually expect from diamonds, and despite the fact that your driver would claim such a look was effortless, you knew a very pricy balm had undoubtedly been used to achieve the effect. Mostly because the faintest hint of beeswax still lingered despite the sweet scent of cinnamon swirling through the interior of your ride. Obviously, the smell was the result of some lavish products as well, but like the polished seats, it would be passed off as natural to the interior if you asked about it. Not that you minded any of the bluster. Quite the opposite, actually, you found the tireless efforts to impress you incredibly endearing.

This was Rodimus, after all.

Looking away from the pristine twilight view outside your window, you subtly turned your head towards the driver’s seat, where an impossibly handsome but mostly normal looking man had a casual hold on the wheel. Any person that beheld him would have had to do a double take, as his entire outfit hardly blended in with the modern era, but in your mind he rocked the 80's look perfectly. But the gravity defying perfection of his auburn hair was, admittedly, a pretty obvious clue to his inhuman nature.

"Admiring the merchandise?" He asks suddenly, catching you off guard without startling you. Despite not needing to "look" at the road to see, he still keeps his head facing forward as he gives you a playful side eye, the depths of his irises showing the tiny refractive glint he taught you to recognize of holomatter avatars. For some reason seeing it while hearing his warm voice sends delightful shudders up your spine.

"I like to appreciate every form you have." You reply carefully, not wanting to let him know just yet how excited you are. Plus, it was true, from his towering robot mode to this properly sized human projection, Rodimus was fine, even his altmode could quicken your pace at a glance. Adjusting casually in the silky-smooth seat, you scanned the dark exterior outside your window for a moment, noting how the ocean had come into constant view as he drove along the forgotten road. Hopefully the destination he'd apparently spent weeks picking out was close, because you were getting rather... eager for what you knew was coming upon arrival.

"I did make a few adjustments, just for you." He said a little unexpectedly, drawing your full attention back to him. Under the cocky tone you recognized the ever present need for approval he carried with him everywhere, and it occurred to you that if he was losing control and letting his insecurities slip through then he must have also been growing impatient to reach the destination. For all his talk, the big bot couldn't stand much in the way of delays when it came to your affection. Knowing he was needing you put a smile on your face as he coughed softly and murmured almost bashfully. "I was hoping you'd like them..."

You couldn't resist; you had to tease him.

"If you're talking about the tattoo, I was waiting for you to let me admire how you masterfully patterned it over those muscles. Ideally with a hands-on on inspection." You said, turning in the chair to look at him directly. It wasn't purely a playful nudge, you did want to lay your hands on the toned arms he'd clearly worked so hard to accentuate with Cybertronian inspired patterns, if only because you adored the strength and warmth beneath your fingers. The fire pattern had been lovely, but this new one was striking, the black ink drawing in your eyes like a wonderful trap. Hm, just thinking about how heated and natural his holomatter was to the touch and squeezing those muscles-

"Oh, definitely!" He countered in a failed attempt to stay smooth, which deteriorated when his voice broke in a needy squeak. Swallowing in a perfectly expressed gesture of helplessness, he moved a hand down to his heavily personalized radio equipment, fumbling over the flame decals before hitting the proper buttons. "We're almost there! Let's uh... Let's put on my mix in the meantime."

A lovingly arranged playlist of soft but passionate hits started pumping through his speakers, and you were delighted enough by the sound that you didn't bother to ask if he'd forgotten he could just turn on his music without using his holomatter avatar. Slow beats thrummed through the air and into your body, enticing you by offering a taste of what was to come as the melody filled you from head to toe. Biting your lip, you prayed he was feeling the same thing, or at least an equal amount of anticipation. Mostly because you were not planning on wasting time.

"Hey, there it is!"

The excitement in his voice was tinged with relief you became too occupied to notice. Like something sculpted just for the two of you, the earth flowed upwards and outwards over the sea in a picturesque lookout beneath the stars, a lovely covering of grass and wildflowers swaying in the ocean breeze as Rodimus eased his way to the flat top. Beaming all the while, he explained himself at a level of ease that belied the build-up he'd been applying to this little trip for the past few weeks. "Found the spot on a planetary scan, along with a bunch of other potential locales. It took the lead once I confirmed the cliff doesn't get much in the way of visitors."

"It's beautiful, Roddy." You said in genuine gratitude, aware that planning something so sweet and quiet and then keeping it secret would challenge his naturally effusive and chatty nature to an exhausting limit.

To think a bot who'd traveled the stars could find such joy in spending time alongside you, to the point he painstakingly arranged these little trips just to show you the depth of his adoration, was enough to make your heart skip a few beats. "Thank you... I know you spent a while on this."

"Anything for you, babe." He said softly, unbuckling the seatbelt he wore entirely for show as his alt mode pulled to a stop on an especially flat expanse of ground, leaving just enough space from the cliffs edge to be secure. Taking off your own seatbelt, one that he insisted you wear for your own safety, you heard his engines settle into a gentle purr. Loving the sound, you briefly recalled the first wonderful night you'd enjoyed one of these escapades. It had been unplanned at the time, and you hadn’t felt even the slightest hint of hesitation on your part, despite knowing that having sex with an alien robot while his physical body was a car might be called "odd" by some. As far as you bothered to care, those people just didn’t know what they were missing. Stretching out on his seat and making quite a show of opening up his lap in the process, Rodimus looked at you with what was likely meant to be suave relaxation, but you heard the eagerness in his voice. "But, I think we both know what we want to happen next, so how about we skip ahead...?"

"Does that pass for flirting on Cybertron?" You teased right back, triggering a blush in the holomatter's cheeks. Some very unorthodox upgrades had made the program capable of replicating every physical action or reaction one could draw from the bot, and in moments like these you wanted to thank some higher power for the incredible delight that had given you so far, as well as all the ways it would undoubtedly benefit you in the near future.

Recovering by pretending to adjust his sweatband, he was quick to fire back a line with his almost trademark cocky tone.

"Well... There aren't too many incredibly attractive humans on Cybertron, so I don't think it matters too much." He bantered smoothly, unaware of how precious his finger guns made him look in the process. In fairness, they absolutely were having the desired effect, as you wanted more than ever to pounce him. Watching as his internal biolights grew brighter to advertise his increasing excitement, you planned your move accordingly, knowing from experience how easy it was to crawl over into the driver's seat. You let him give one final quip to provide you with the perfect setup. "However, on the Lost Light and Earth, it's been working out pretty well so far."

Not able to imagine a more perfect leading line, you left your seat in one solid and unerring movement to plop yourself gently but eagerly into his lap, loving how the interior warmed around you in response before you had even finished moving. Engines hiccupping, he looked at you the same way one might watch a natural wonder unfold as you secured yourself by straddling him. "You would know, Captain."

Smoothness lost its status as an imperative to him in that instant.

Helpless adoration and lust filled his eyes almost to overflowing as he slipped a hand behind your head, insistent and needy but never anything less than gentle while his fingers looped under your hair. The scent of cinnamon moved through the air in sweetly smelling swirls as you let your body press against his, the warmth of his holomatter not quite comparable to an organic form but wonderful all the same because it was him.

Though you'd yet to tell him, the way his altmode came alive around you both as he grew more aroused thrilled you in ways that were impossible to explain. It was like you could feel him on every level, more than just the physical delight of skin on skin, and that feeling came into marvelous actuality as soon as your lips met his. A helpless sound of need from him coincided with a tremor through the seat below. Despite how he always wanted attention, you knew straight away he was especially craving it tonight by the fervent kiss he returned against your lips, followed by his cautious hands sliding up your sides. Without words he was trying to convey a request to get undressed.

"You look hot, how about we take off that vest?" You said in act of mercy, not at all opposed to getting naked as soon as possible. Rodimus had, after all, painstakingly designed the body of his avatar to express his favorite physical features in human form. To say he'd done a fantastic job would be an understatement. Easily slipping the loose orange garment off his broad shoulders, you had to smile at the multiple shirts still awaiting their turn, all three of them looking far more out of place without the vest to tie them together. You tugged on the collar of the outermost as you made your request indirectly. "Along with some of the other layers?"

"Yes, please..." He replied softly, sounding out of breath despite not needing to breathe.

The limited space of his altmode's interior was no match for the two of you working in sync, and if anything you could swear he seemed to move around you to aid the process, but that might have just been the result of his delighted frame humming in encouragement. By the time you got to his Autobrand bearing T shirt he was getting visibly flustered, his big expressive eyes looking into yours with an ocean of mixed emotions. There was want, adoration, longing, and a touch of disbelief, but also the deeply buried worry that what he had wasn't enough. As always, you got to reassurance straight away. Removing his last shirt to reveal a panting chest rippling with every breath was the first step.

Your next move was to kiss your way down his toned stomach, slipping beneath the steering wheel so you could park yourself between his spread legs. Quick as ever, the hint of a bulge in his pants became a tent of need in response to your proximity. No amount of self control could stop you from biting your lip at his flattering enthusiasm.

"How about I start by thanking you for this date?" You said in your best shot at a throaty purr. Admittedly it was hard to focus on being sexy when you were beholding such a banquet of handsome and helpless allure.

A sigh that trembled out into a whimper passed his lips as he gathered the strength to nod, spreading his legs as the fabric over his crotch stretched to make room for his growing arousal. Had you not already known the outfit was also holomatter you never would have been able to guess. Just watching how naturally it cupped his sizable package was making your head get fuzzy... Hearing the clink of a belt buckle helped you focus, especially when you discovered it was your own hands undressing him, the heat from this part of his body delighting your fingers as they worked not to stumble. As eager as you were down low, poor Rodimus was desperate.

Shaky breaths became increasingly more perceptible moans at every exhale, a phenomenon you noticed was harmonized to rhythmic trembles in the vehicle around you. Despite his will being concentrated in the holomatter, the pleasure he was experiencing must have been affecting his altmode. Such a loss of control was exactly your goal as his pants finally slid down his legs. Simple boxers of dark coloration remained your only barrier, the synthesized elastic bearing a tiny Autobrand that was warped by the jutting erection presented for your indulgence. Unable to delay for the sake of buildup any longer, you hooked your fingers into the stretchy fabric and pulled smoothly but quickly, revealing an eager erection that swung up to greet you.

"Oh God..." He whispered in overwhelmed ecstasy, covering his mouth beneath a hand. His own altmode overrode the attempt to stay quiet, rumbling with primal delight that all but begged you to keep going, a request you had no desire to delay fulfilling.

Hot and smooth while simultaneously soft yet firm, he was a none too easy fit in your mouth despite how badly the two of you wanted it to happen, but you were absolutely fine with a bit of a challenge. He had personally designed this part of himself as well, the goal of which was being just big enough to provide some extra fun without running the risk of hurting you. Humming to give him a little more stimulation, you secured your fingers around the base and started to search for a rhythm, brain buzzing from the simple thrill of intimacy on this level. A shaking hand cupped your head gently, hesitating so as not to throw you off or come across as trying to control your movements. Hesitancy in how he played with your hair was somehow adorable. You read his every move as you continued to bob your head, sucking on his throbbing girth in the way that drove him the most wild; slow yet passionate. This bot had done so much for you, and you wanted to return the favor, putting your all into every suck to show him how dearly you desired him back...

"W-wait..."

The full extent of him that you could fit in your mouth came out with a wet plop, surprising you almost as much as his tender request for you to stop. Rodimus never wanted to pull back once things got going.

"Is something wrong?" You asked while wiping your lips, looking upwards from his still throbbing erection to the flushed expanse of his chest and similarly heated face. There wasn’t a trace of anything in his expression but want, yet he was careful as he tugged you back up into his lap, letting you settle your own clothed crotch against his exposed eagerness. For a second the contact made his mind go visibly blank, with all traces of thought disappearing from his eyes at the unmatched desire you stirred in his spark. Sheer willpower enabled him to recover and speak seconds later.

"I need you. I... and I won't last long if you stay down there..." He explained through his panting, holomatter looking as if he'd just run a marathon.

"I don't mind." You replied, grinding your hips forward to let his hot and unsatisfied erection rub against you. Plenty wet beneath your own clothes, you knew that Rodimus would never allow only himself to be gratified, so you were fine finishing him off first. Watching that beautiful face disappear between your thighs afterwards would be well worth the wait.

Clearly he was tempted too, never having been the type to hold off on pleasure in the present regardless of how much it would earn him later, but you could see a rare patience in his whole demeanor as he looked back to you. Even his altmode hummed a little more calmly around you, as if to show his commitment. This mech wanted tonight to be special. "If it's okay, I... I'd rather have all of you."

That was more than okay for you. To show just how fine you were with the proposal, you looped your arms around his neck and went in for another kiss, feeling the heat and gentle tingling of his holomatter against you. When you had to pause for air, a playful whisper made your answer quite clear.

"Well, you are the Captain."

A soft moan of open ecstasy was his first reply. What had started as a tease had evolved into a kind of kryptonite for him, to the point that even hearing you whisper his title got his engines revving. Hitting him with it now resulted in a throbbing erection pressing more insistently against your pants, and while you loved the helpless arousal on display, the tone of his voice was also a fantastic prize. "You know what happens when you call me that!"

"Care to remind me?" You whispered in devious torture, growing foggy with lust of your own that would soon make such teasing impossible. All around you he began to hum in eager arousal once more, his vents blowing hard to keep the air cool in his interior. Catching the smell of cinnamon again, you let him dangle in the wind only a moment longer, feeling his grip on your shirt tighten as he gasped out some quiet pleading.

"Please, help me-"

"I'll show you how this is done again, if that's what you mean." Trying to play it cool only for one more tease, you grabbed the bottom of your shirt, having undressed yourself for him many times in the past. Whether or not he was being honest about not understanding clothes hardly mattered to you as you pulled on your top and lifted it over your head, revealing the bare expense of your body save for a bra. As the clothing was haphazardly tossed aside you found his eyes locked on nothing but you, as if by merely becoming undressed you were beyond anything he ever could have imagined, and that level of adoration threw you for a loop. Muscling back into control, you went for the clasp of your bra next. Feeling his gaze on you made your voice tantalizingly soft. "See? Now this..."

A front facing clasp came undone easy, but removing the now open underwear wasn't at all mundane to your audience, regardless of how many times he'd seen what was beneath. Bare breasts came into view and your bra joined your shirt in the passenger seat, where his holomatter clothes had been set before fading away now that he wasn't focused on them. Actually Rodimus only looked to be capable of focusing on one solid thing.

You.

"You're my... my everything." He whispered with overwhelmed adoration, far too proud to care about sounding corny while he beheld the perfection of your body. All of your ability to play it cool evaporated at the pure love in his eyes.

"I love you too, Roddy." You said back without any kind of playful intent. The hands keeping you supported on his lap slid over the wealth of bare skin now open to him, but his touch felt like he was worshiping you, his grip tight only for the sake of ensuring you were real. Every curve brought his intoxication to new levels.

"I love you and I need you." He whispered into a kiss on your collar, hugging you tight so that his soft hair brushed your cheek. The ever present electric energy tickled your nose as you breathed in his scent, and while you'd heard holomatter avatars didn't smell like anything, you could swear you caught the faintest hint of the frilly brand of fruit scented polish he used in those perfect auburn locks. A tiny but very happy sound of awe preceded another whisper against your exposed neck. "Please, I... Oh man, do you know what you do to me?"

"I know what I want you to do to me."

The reply was even more lusty than intended. Perhaps dropping your hands to your still present pants was the cause of that, but the effect it had on him was far too lovely for you to care. Strong hands took hold of your behind as the radio amped up its volume, bringing the bumping bass of an 80s mix out to thump in your chest alongside your love-struck heart. Pants and underwear began to descend your thighs in a single motion as he uttered one final phrase.

"Let's do it then..."

Limited space was more of a blessing than a hindrance as you worked together to remove your pants, as it kept him wonderfully close to your naked body while you slipped the restrictive bottoms down to your ankles, fighting to keep your lips on his the whole while. It was perhaps a little awkward, but such triviality didn't even register as you finally wiggled out after a fair bit of contorting. All that mattered was holding him close and taking care of the need thrumming through your bodies. Straddling him once more brought a still eager erection close to an equally heated wetness between your thighs, making you moan into a kiss as you anticipated what was coming.

Tender fingers slid between your legs to blindly feel out your entrance, a common habit of his to ensure you were ready. Not needing to see, you rubbed yourself against his offered hand, making your heat and excitement very obvious to the one who'd caused it. The music briefly slowed like someone gasping in awe. Lips on yours, Rodimus guided you towards his erection as quickly as he dared, spare hand supporting your back as you moved with him in beautiful sync.

Sinking down on him happened in an instant but felt heavenly enough to last a lifetime. How he made you so eager but so relaxed was a mystery you didn't care to solve, especially as he was taken in to the base without so much as a pause on your part. Both of you were reduced briefly to soft moaning at the sensations you'd never have your fill of; delicious fullness and friction for you, delightful warmth and squeezing for him. It was heavenly enough that you just had to deepen the kiss to a fervor and hold him tighter at the same time. This bot felt like everything passion was supposed to be, especially as he gathered himself and began to bounce you in his lap, engine roaring in time to every thrust as the pleasure overwhelmed him.

Rocking your hips as the car shook on the spot, haggard breaths filled the interior from you giving him your all, your kisses growing sloppy while you lost yourself in the fun. He felt good, and you wanted more of him every minute of every day. It didn't matter if you were from different worlds, you loved him with all of your currently hammering heart. Judging by how he thrust upwards in perfect sync the feeling was more than mutual.

A shaking hand squeezed between the two of you to curve downwards and feel out your crotch, a habit of his you knew well enough to angle your lower body to assist him. Still bouncing along his throbbing girth, stars burst before your eyes as eager fingers found your clit, shaking but insistent as they rubbed a solid circle into the erect bud. It brought you careening to a glorious finale in what had to be record time. "O-oh God, Rodimus, I'm..." You held him tighter as the world melted away, his EM field spiking so hard it made your body vibrate in a way that was not at all unwelcome. It was a sign you'd learned meant he was also close. Considering how you had moments until climax, that worked out beautifully, and you cried out one final time to sing out his praises. "Captain, I'm gonna-!"

He was gone the moment his beloved nickname passed your lips. Hard squirting inside of you tingling with the faintest hint of an electric burst came just as you throbbed around him, your body rolling on waves of pure ecstasy that drew out shameless cries of adoration every time you hit the peak. You could feel his head buried into your neck as he came, and how he moaned out endless "I love yous" while his physical self trembled even through the padded seats. For what might have been a tiny eternity it was just the two of you in shared, heavenly bliss.

The afterglow was a warm soft bed that seemed to swaddle you as you fell limp on top of him, your naked bodies trembling and heated but satisfied beyond belief. Still atop his lap, you doubted you'd find the strength or will to move anytime soon.

"Primus, you are my everything..." He rasped out with a kiss to your neck, brushing aside some of your hair to leave a few more tender pecks along your jaw. Spent but buzzing from the thrill, he pushed his sweatband back into a less crooked position and laughed breathlessly, his lidded eyes meeting yours to look lovingly into their depths. "How did I ever get this lucky?"

"I should be the one asking that about you." You replied playfully, fixing some of his hair into a slightly less wild look.

Laughing again in the way he only did when blissed out, he ran a hand down your sides, tracing your lovely curves as he settled back into the polished chair he'd have to clean again very soon. "A better question might be; how are we ever getting back to the ship? I can't... I can't feel my actuators..."

"I can drive." You retorted only half as a joke, knowing that it was possible to steer a bot in vehicle mode if they allowed it. Most hated to have a human anywhere near their equipment, but Rodimus took the proposal with a grin, one that wasn't at all dismissive of the idea.

"Ohh, can you?" He purred while gently pushing your back against the steering wheel, giving it a little turn both ways to tickle you while he played the fake tough bot. "I'm a lot to handle. Ever drive a Cybertronian speedster?"

Even with your body still tingling from orgasm, you were as quick as you were merciless to shoot right back. "No, but I have ridden one."

His head moved forward to squish between your breasts like a worshiper bowing at an alter.

"God I love you." Came his surprisingly soft reply, before he looked up at you with unabashed adoration and spoke without a trace of innuendo. "Let's just... take our time. I've got towels in my dashboard subspace, I can clean you up, then we can go from there. Sound good babe?"

"That sounds very good." You agreed, becoming aware of a growing sticky mess between your thighs. Such a thing was common when the two of you really got going, the natural result of the overpowering pleasure that could only come from the connection you shared, but you were still happy he always offered to clean it up. To convey your gratitude, not just for the towels but everything, you settled a loving kiss on his forehead and whispered.

"Thanks, Captain."

[rockabillywonder]

so uhhh i tried my hand at making a fankid- roamer here is an optimus/prowl kiddo. animals just seem to adore her, which is fine by her cause she loves em just as much.

her altmode is this neat thing

bonus fact: her weapon is a kusarigama

[jet-teeth]

*Something something “TF sona” bandwagon* If anyone, Sprocket comes closest, though she is still her own character. At least I was inspired to pull some doodles out & and sketch a few new ones, so, another OC to post!

Short version is “she’s a nerd of a tank who likes to design vehicles and talks way too much about planes” Long version & babbling under the cut:

Sprocket is a neutral, technically, but does a bunch of mercenary work with a rag-tag group of mechs who are all either neutrals, defected from either faction, or alien. I still have yet to come up with a proper name for them so I just use “Runners” as a working title, as in “Intergalactic errand-runners.” She’s the heavy artillery of the team, but if she had a choice, she’d just hide away somewhere and design spaceships all day. Her faceshield is 100% intended to hide her face to appear colder and more aggressive, because underneath it, she’s just way too expressive, and in her line of work, looking nervous is a Bad Plan. The faceshield also doubles as a kind of “VR headset” though, and it can project a super-detailed modelling/engineering suite into her sensory system. Since she can use gestures to “sculpt,” it looks really funny to watch her from the outside, just sitting there with her four arms waving around. Needless to say, she gets weird looks from her crew all the time. The four arms - comes from a super old drawing I have (that I need to finish) where her second set allows her to uncouple her cannon from her back-mounted turret, and swing it around as its own firearm, and she’s wielding it like a minigun. Like a fool - but since her optical system is tied to the cannon, she technically doesn’t have to raise it to her face to aim it or anything.

Her obsession with aviation/aerospace design: Sprocket was constructed cold, and was actually supposed to be a triple-changer based on her spark - her second mode would have been a jet. (I doodled this up once, for fun: )

( It retains the angularity of her alt mode, and the curvature can be achieved by letting the hex-plating work as a kind of semi-flexible surface if you space each tile apart a little. Swing-wing, and built with the role of the Blackburn Buccaneer or Rockwell B-1 in mind: fly fast, fly low, evade radar and dump as much ordnance as possible! Something chunky and a little clumsy, rather than an elegant turn-fighter. Attack, not air-to-air specialized. The tiny canards are a feature taken from the B-1 because 1) whiskers are adorable, but more importantly, 2) they allow for fast, tiny tweaks in pitch, and when you’re flying so close to the ground, there’s no room for error.) Also, “a tank obsessed with flying” is just funny to me.

(Yes, this was real. Yes, this was also from Russia.) Since she’s 99% nervous energy, as much as possible is done at long range. Sprocket is a good shot, but is incredibly clumsy in close-quarters combat  - her strength usually lets get get out of a bad situation, but it’s usually not great.

This is also based on her altmode: the CV90120-T “Adaptiv” light stealth tank. It’s basically an IFV armed with a main battle tank’s cannon (120mm) and is designed to sneak up on targets undetected. Fast in, first to fire, fast out is the plan - armor is sacrificed for mobility.

The Adaptiv prototype has those fancy hex tiles, which are a heat-tile system that allows the vehicle to actively mask its thermal (infra-red) signature - it can take up the signature of anything it wants to, or just blend away into the background.

Nothing else has happened with the project since, as this was back in 2011, but I still really love that vehicle!

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

I've been watching Spartacus and it got me thinking about Megatron's gladiatorial days. Could you do a dabble on one of his fights?

GREAT ask there, so sure! I don't really know of any canonically (besides his with Soundwave and that one with Devastator in Cyberverse), so I'll make one up! I've done it in rps plenty of times!

Megatron looked around the room. Before gladiators set pede on stage, they were always sent here, biding their time before their fights. He looked to the left of him. Some mechs were loud, rowdy, ready to fight and earn their ways to glory. He looked to the right. A group of mechs that were frozen, internally fearful of what may happen. While these events promised fame, and glory, they came at a cost. Your life. For some, it was worth it. Like Megatron. He did it not for the fems and the money (though they WERE nice), but for the attention. When you had all the popularity, all audials were focused on you. That was what Megatron needed, as a way to spread his ideals. Every battle won was more fans, more ammunition against the council that oppressed. He was knocked out of his thoughts as the intercom went off.

"Megatronus, Drixco, you're on in twenty kliks."

Megatronus looked at the mech from the right. He was staring back at him, but not with malice. With fear. It wasn't the first one. Megatronus stood up, and began his walk. He held himself high, and mighty. The dark, damp room soon gave way to light; the crowds in the stands nearly making his audials ring. Show time. He held his hands in the air, only commanding more applause from his adoring audience. He walked far into the field, and stopped, facing the direction in which he came. The young mech walked out, seeming to be cautious, as if the ground itself was an enemy. He walked up to Megatronus, stopping until he could get a good view of his face. He was a lower class mech, clearly fit for industrial work. His paint was black, but scuffed enough to come off as gray. His face was scuffed enough to make him look older than he actually was, showing he had gone through quite the strife. He pulled out his sword, and held his stance. This mech had seen some practice, but not enough. Not enough to wipe the fear and uncertainty away. Megatron assumed he had dealt with only ten fights at the most. While the number itself maybe small, it was nothing to scoff at. Not here. Megatron pulled out his own blade, placing it right next to his. Drixco took a small inhale.

“It’s an honor, Megatronus.”

“I’d give the same to you. You do not fight for glory. Yet, I can not determine why.”

Little talks like these were common, as it was a few kliks to give the crowd enough time to finish up their wagers. Drixco exhaled, and Megatronus finally saw his optics. This mech was young. Too young to be here, and amongst this filth.

“I...I was hoping to meet you.”

“Oh. Is this some sort of honor death?”

“No. I...I’ve read all your works. And I believe all of them completely. I’ve...always wanted to be more than my altmode. I may perish here, under you. But I’m willing to die for one who made such ideologies.”

Megatronus wanted to speak. He wanted to tell this mech how much that meant to him. How this was the reason he fought; for mechs like him. Unfortunately, the voice above them chimed in.

“Fems and gentle bots! We’re so glad to see you here today! We have Drixco, a lowly mech who has won only a measly eleven battles, vs Megatronus, who is now currently on his one hundredth match! Such a short run for the little mech! You all know the drill, the only rule is make it loud, and make it proud! On my mark! One!”

Megatronus looked at the mech. He was trying so hard to be brave.

“Two!”

He wanted to understand him. Wanted to sit and talk with the mech he held such reverence to.

“Three!”

Megatronus’s body moved before he commanded it to, swinging his weapon against the other. He blocked it, before his pede to push him away and created distance. He made a dash towards him, before Megatronus pushed him back with his shoulder. This mech, although inexperienced, picked up quite a bit for just eleven matches. Megatronus heard the cheers above him as he swiped at him, forcing his weapon to fly out of his hand, and into the ground. Drixco looked at him in panic, before he ran for it, trying to obtain his weapon. Megatron swiped at his leg, sending him crashing down. Megatronus stood above him, the end of the blade of his throat.

“Any last words?”

“Y...yes. You thought I was that easy?”

He lifted his legs up, and kicked Megatronus away from him. He got up in his hurry, grabbing his weapon, and slashing at Megatronus face. The crowd turned into a mixture of boos and cheers as he felt at his cut. Spilled energon. This mech was a fighter in not just his ideologies. Megatronus hated how much he was liking this mech. He growled, determined to end this before he can be added to the rest of the mechs in his mind. He screamed, and dove in, slashing his sword like a mad man. His moves were exaggerated, fast, and pleasing to the optic. Drixco struggled to block, and found himself in a corner in mere kliks. It didn't take long before he was on the ground again; body battered, bruised, and the weapon shattered to pieces. Megatronus held his blade to his spark chamber. Drixco looked up at him, and chuckled.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because...I’m happy. I do not wish to die, but I understand that I must. In order to break the council, you need stepping stones. I...I wanted to one day grow, and become a merchant of some sort. Travelling the galaxies and meeting so many people...I wanted to see past the conveyor belt. But if me perishing leads to the future generation the opportunity, so be it.”

Megatronus was frozen. The crowd was roaring, relentless in their bloodlust. The selflessness of this one mech moved him. Megatronus would die for this mech below him. That was when he did something unheard of. Something that was never before seen. He dropped his weapon, and leaned down, offering his hand.

“I will make sure you live another day towards that dream, my friend.”

Megatronus helped the clearly baffled mech up, and he looked towards the crowd. He held up both their hands to show the crowd.

“Citizens of Koan! I hereby grant you this. The council sits upon their ivory thrones, forcing us into fighting like cyber rats! I say to you today, that i refuse to fight my opponent. Drixco here will fight another day. For I grant him my defiance against the council. I grant this mech beside me, mercy!”

The crowd was silent. That was when it started. One grumble amongst the crowd turned into an uproar of disapproval. One mech above them stood up.

“Hey! I came here to watch you kill someone! Do your damn job or-”

“If you would like to see blood shed, then please, be my guest!”

His voice echoed through the arena. The crowd went silent, and stayed that way. Everyone was aghast. Drixco looked at him with such wonder, it was as if he was watching the birth of a universe before him.

“I don't...understand-”

“If we want the council to hear us, we must make some new noise, my friend. Will you do me the honor of being another voice of mine?”

Drixco nodded, lightly grunting as Megatronus guided him back inside. Drixco wasn't the last mech he spared, but he was the first. He was the first, and more important that he would’ve ever known. The first willing to die at his hands. The first to vouch for him so publicly and adamantly. The first to fall victim to Optimus Prime, and the first kindle to light the kindle of the flames that was the war. Megatron looked back at that face, and only felt it stroke the flames of the fire within him. Sure, Soundwave and others like him were monumental to his success, but none of it would've been possible without that fight. Without Drixco.

In case you’re curious, I took inspiration from this character here!; https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Drixco

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 42: Transcript

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: But that's because he acquired a dog!

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're going to be talking about episode number 42: The Autobot Run. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah!

O: So once upon a time... on a racetrack.

S: Spike and Chip get a brilliant idea: What if the other boss participated in racing? 

O: Bumblebee arrives and says, “One limo-bot at your service,” uh, which is adorable, might I add?

S: Spike asks Bee how he feels about racing.

O: Bee is decidedly not a speedster as he seems down for it as long as it's under the speed limit, which also amusingly, goes against the fact that he totally got pulled over for speeding in an earlier episode but whatever. 

S: Yeah, yeah that's true. Laserbeak overhears this exchange.

O: I'm not exactly sure how any of this is going to help the Decepticons but all right.

S: The Decepticons are just- they're here to gather all the information they can. 

O: It's Laserbeak's job. I- I am just imagining him picking up on the most mundane information and, like, having to pass it off to Soundwave because it's his job.

S: Yeah, oh god, they probably have terabytes of information stored someplace. 

O: [Laughter] Probably.

S: Yeah. Elsewhere, in a weirdly well-preserved old west town, the Constructicons are finishing the dumb 80’s weapon of the week. The, um, Transfixatron which sounds like could be a lot of things, but probably not what you're expecting.

O: Uh, which is, of course, a purple gun mounted on a weird stand thing. 

S: Yep. Laserbeak's arrival causes Megatron to go off model and resemble Homer Simpson for a split second in the mouth department.

O: Which is very unnerving.

S: Yeah and I- I keep envisioning it right now and it is definitely very unnerving.

O: Very, very, very unnerving. Um, Laserbeak hops into Soundwave’s chest compartment and reports on the doings of the Autobots’ human allies, and the Autobots too, I guess. Since Bumblebee was there.

S: Yeah, Megatron is going to make good use of this information about the, uh, proposed Autobot race. 

O: Again, not sure how but okay, buddy! 

S: Yeah, but, uh, first he's gotta test out his new toy! Much to the chagrin of Starscream, who really does not approve that they're not beating up the Autobots right now.

O: You know, I think he's just salty that Megatron had the Constructicons build his new toy instead of him.

S: Yeah, that sounds- that sounds on brand. He calls it an idiotic contraption.

O: Of course the moment Megatron threatens to use it on Starstream, as his first test subject, suddenly Starstream changes his tune on if the device might work or not. “After all, what's a test without a guinea pig-atron.” Yes, Megatron said that word for word.

S: Guinea pig has clearly entered the Decepticons lexicon.

O: Yes, so Megatron picks up the entire gun which, again, I remind you is on a base, uh, and, uh, shoots Starscream.

S: Why does it have a stand at all? Maybe just get a shoulder strap or a harness or something for it? Or a table? Do they not want to draw a table? This is a very stupidly designed contraption.

O: Which, you know, is per the norm for 80's cartoons. At first, it appears that the gun has done nothing to Starscream.

S: Starscream responds just about how you'd expect, mock-mocking Megatron for his high-tech garbage.

O: But Megatron tells Starscream to try and transform, which, of course, he can't because that's the entire function of the Transfixatron.

S: Transfixing you in your-

O: Alt.

S: Altmode, yeah. And so Shockwave suddenly appears standing next to Megatron despite not being in any of the previous shots?

O: I also don't think he shows up again in this episode. He certainly doesn't have any lines.

S: Yeah, he just- poof. He's just taking a mini vacation.

O: Assumably he wanted off Cybertron for a while.

S: [indistinct] Yeah.

O: Uh, Starscream begs Megatron to return him to normal. 

S: They bicker, there's some back and forth. Megatron threatens to leave him this way forever.

O: Starscream says, “But I'm too valuable to you!” I'm too good of a lay, boss you can't do this.

S: Megatron tells him to stop whining and, uh, returns Starscream to normal. He then monologues a bit about how they're going to use the Transfixatron on the Autobots and then commands the Constructicons to, “Get started on the second device.”

O: So we don't just get one silly 80’s weapon of the week, we get two in this episode!

S: Gee, I wonder what it looks like.

O: [Laughter] The answer to that might surprise you! 

S: This inexplicably involves Hook plunging his namesake into the ground to begin excavating- with his hook. The Constructicons, well, the other Constructicons begin digging in a much more sensible manner.

O: Now at the Ark, uh, Chip and Spike are on the cusp of convincing Optimus Prime of their charity racing idea.

S: The other Autobots all seem pretty for it.

O: Ironhide wants some action or he'll rust. I'm not sure if I had Ironhide’s alt that racing would be my first choice of a leisure activity, but more power to you buddy.

S: Obviously he's just going to use his multitude of weaponry to booby-trap the track. I mean, who knows? Maybe he's got some sort of rocket booster? 

O: [Laughter] More of the rocket-powered fist! 

S: Yeah, or at least everybody but Huffer is into the idea. Frankly, I have to wonder where Red Alert is because he'd probably be having a conniption.

O: Okay, he is locked up in his room monitoring things, probably. And it's like, “I don't see it, I don't hear it, it does not exist,” I imagine. Uh but, of course, this means Huffer is voluntold that he gets to stay and watch the base.

S: Yep, ah, Huffer who gets to be responsible today, but Brawn, Ratchet and Wheeljack stay behind to keep him company. 

O: Which is weird, because isn't Wheeljacks’ alt a race car?

S: Yeah, he's a Lancia Stratos.

O: You’d think he'd be more into this. 

S: Maybe he's just not that big into going around- around- around- around in a circle. It's just not so exciting for him.

O: I-I do like the idea of somebody who definitely does not have the personality of a race car being put into the body of a racing car like- you know, he's a scientist in all- all reality he should be like, uh, um, a sedan or something, but- but he got stuck in the body of a race car!

S: Optimus leads the rest of the Autobots out with the call of: “Roll for the show!”

O: At the racetrack, with our celebrity guests, the Autobots.

S: Our roster for today is: Cliffjumper, Bluestreak, Jazz, Prowl, Sideswipe, Ironhide, Hound, Sunstreaker, Optimus, Trailbreaker, Mirage, Windcharger, and Gears.

O: Huffer was too cranky to come but Gears is just fine with this today.

S: He's a sporty little car, he can have a little racing, you know, as a treat.

O: [Laughter] Uh, one man from the audience jumps up and says, “Hey! Where are their cars?!” 

S: Honey, honey, they are the cars.

O: Has this man been living under a rock for a year or so, or however long they've been there and missed the whole giant transforming alien robots bit?

S: Very probably.

O: Jesus!

S: I'm going to go with a ‘yes’ here.

O: Where do you live, man? I-I would like directions because I would like to not be in society right now. Um, so we see Bumblebee chilling off to the side with Chip and Spike as the two- ah, the three of them, rather, watch the race. 

S: He doesn't really seem like he cares for sports.

O: He likes the speed limit just fine, thanks. That's what he said to the- I know, it's funny. 

S: Mostly I'm just wondering if he was involved in that episode where Optimus plays basketball or whatever.

O: I can't remember. I- like, I'm remembering like Sunstreaker and, I think, Sideswipe but I don't- I don't remember if Bee was involved with the basketball or not.

S: I feel like he wasn't, but yeah, I don't remember so, yeah, he's just- Bee does not care about sports, yeah. Ah, the Autobots, predictably, transform and line up at the starting line. 

O: The race begins!

S: Ironhide and Trailbreaker rib each other a little bit as neither of them seems terribly quick.

O: Sunstreaker leaves the rest in the dust, taunting them as he goes by. Oh, my beautiful idiot.

S: Mirage being an actual Formula One race car also pulls ahead and Jazz decides they need a soundtrack. 

O: Which I would think driving around in circles would be boring so, I don't know, that seems like a very good call to me.

S: Yeah, Optimus Prime is inexplicably close to the lead, I mean, maybe everyone is-

O: Too afraid to pass him?

S: Maybe, or they're all just chill and this is their equivalent of jogging around a track.

O: [Laughter] Okay, that's kind of funny. Suddenly! Skywarp appears overhead, transforming into his root mode and pulling the Transfixatron out of his ass. 

S: Subspace, hammer space, wherever Optimus hides his trailer. 

O: Skywarp hits all of the Autobots on the track with the Transfixatron. 

S: Spike sees this and says, “What was that?”

O: Bumblebee responds with something about energy evaporation from all the speed.

S: Bumblebee responds with bullshit. 

O: [Laughter]

S: Let's just be straight about this.

O: Skywarp teleports away, meeting back up with the Decepticons

S: Megatron actually praises him.

O: Again, he really seems to like Skywarp.

S: Back on the racetrack, Ironhide asks Trailbreaker if he felt anything weird.

O: And then Trailbreaker, again, ribs him because Ironhide’s in last place and, really, when you get down to it they are in a race of two and are really only up for who's not in last place right now because they are both very slow.

S: Yeah, the group approaches the finish line with Jazz and Mirage out in front.

O: We're not really told who wins but it's safe to assume it was either Jazz or Mirage or, maybe, both of them.

S: Yeah. On to the next event on the docket for today: The Autobots’ incredible car stunts.

O: Sunstreaker has all the other Autobots line up so he can jump over them off, you know, jump off a ramp over them, rather. 

S: Ah, time to be a daredevil. Some of the Autobots dislike this idea more than others, but they all, you know, comply and line up. 

O: Optimus tells Sunstreaker he won't be able to make it.

S: Spoiler alert: Sunstreaker does not make it.

O: But! Sunstriker is saved by some quick thinking by Windcharger, who catches him with his magnets.

S: And the crowd seems to love it anyway, so: Mission accomplished! 

O: Mirage catches sight of the Decepticons and the Autobots attempt to transform. Of course Megatron lands in front of them and gloats.

S: It's Megatron, I mean, that's what he does, it's what he loves.

O: It's what he lives for.

S: Then Megatron uses- utilizes some eye lasers to chase the humans away.

O: When did he get eye lasers!?

S: He's just had so much stupid shit installed.

O: [Deadpan] Help the Autobots are in danger, cut to commercial. 

S: Is this a facelift for Decepticons?

O: I don't know. 

S: The Decepticons attack and with the Autobots in car mode they aim for the tires.

O: Bee gets Spike and Chip out of there before they're noticed and heads back to the Ark. 

S: Ironhide tells everybody to, “Push past that flat tire,” but they start taking hits from Thundercrackers’ incendiary blasts.

O: Ironhide says, “I'm getting sunburnt on the inside!” Push past it, Ironhide, push past it! 

S: Soundwave then disables the Autobots communicators and Megatron says to, “Take them away.” 

O: Bee’s plan actually worked quite well and the Decepticons never noticed them at all and they were able to get back to the Ark and tell the remaining Autobots basically all this shit went down.

S: Yup. Huffer bitches and moans before Brawn threatens to put his, “Footio into his audio.”

O: That's not even clever.

S: It isn't.

O: I know what I'm watching. [Laughter] Uh, Chip uses Teletraan I and he, Wheeljack, and Ratchet are very quickly able to come up with a hypothesis for what could have caused the Autobots to not be able to transform.

S: Ratchet and Wheeljack get to work. They got some business to take care of.

O: Good thing, too- they left two of the scientists behind. Where's Perceptor? 

S: Yeah, and Beachcomber? I mean-

O: They're just off today, apparently! 

S: Maybe Beachcomber took the- the Dinobots out?

O: Yeah, that's just the right recurring joke at this point is he- he babysits the Dinobots in his downtime.

S: Beachcomber and Perceptor took the Dinobots out on an expedition-

O: So, Ratchet and Wheeljack could have a nice, quiet couple's day at home and then this happened.

S: Yes.

O: Gotcha. Back in the old west, Megatron unveils his second bullshit machine.

S: Guess what it does? Guess what it does? It's gonna eat the Autobots!

O: That's what he says but that thing has fucking tentacles. Remember what I said, is what you didn't expect? It has fucking tentacles! And, you know, it makes me think, remember that episode of the giant supercomputer, TORQ III, and the weird kink machines he was using against the Autobots? I am just saying he did that after being corrupted by Megatron. After!

S: Yeah.

O: Megatron! Has a thing! For kink machines!

S: Yeah, the machine is really dark purple-

O: Of course.

S: It has a large grabby claw and a crusher at the top and also, weirdly enough, smaller tentacles.

O: Don't know what to do with your machine? Add more tentacles!

S: Apparently. Well, I mean, the whole theoretically them coming from the Quintessons, kind of makes that all really-

O: It does make a little bit more sense with that, doesn't it? Hmm.

S: Yeah, time to shudder.

O: [Laughter] Ironhide cuts off Megatron with the sentiment of, ‘Oh, just kill us already,’ rather than have to listen to him talk.

S: Then, of course, Megatron wants to demonstrate to them exactly how they're going to die but so the Cons toss in some stuff to show the Autobots how they're going to get crushed. Did they just go off and grab some junk for this?

O: I assume? Maybe it was spare parts from the machine- or like, they didn't use when building the machine? 

S: Maybe.

O: While all this is going on, Hound is able to transmit a single image to the Ark, despite their communicators being disabled. 

S: Teletraan I is able to triangulate their exact location based on this one image which, I guess, is not out of the realm of possibility.

O: It still seems kind of silly.

S: Yeah.

O: Um, Soundwave being, you know, the only competent one here realizes that something's up pretty quickly and shoots Hound's gun that was also acting as his transmitter?

S: He's the guy who does the... holograms! 

O: Yes.

S: That was what I was... yeah, so yeah. Who knows what the fuck Hound can do. Megatron's new machine spits a tiny little block of crushed metal out so apparently he was concerned with how much space his enemy's corpses would take up.

O: At least he's not littering?

S: I guess? I mean you can always recycle material but I guess he's an evil villain so, uh, yeah.

O: [Laughter] He's going to build a house out of his enemy’s corpses is what I'm getting from this, okay. It's gonna have an entire fortress of Autobots. 

S: I think, more likely to do a chair out of corpses.

O: That's true, there aren't that many Autobots there.

S: Yes, but I think there's also a weird precedent for that in the comics.

O: Yeah, probably. 

S: Megatron tells the Constructicons to make Ironhide the first target and the Autobots surround him like circling up the wagons and the- but the Constructicons just sort of casually pick them up and toss them over to the side and get to Ironhide anyway.

O: Because, again, they're all stuck in car mode.

S: Yea.

O: Uh, back at the Ark, Wheeljack and Ratchets’ labors have produced, the Holy Hand Grenade!

S: [Laughter] This will apparently create energy waves that will allow the others to go back to normal.

O: Unfortunately, there's no time to test if this will work so off they go to try to save their friends.

S: Back with the Cons, Ironhide is in the grasp of the purple, chompy machine and about to be eaten but Optimus sends out Roller. It's Roller time, guys!

O: Duh-duh-na-na!

S: Jazz hands.

O: Jazz doesn't have any hands right now. [Laughter] Sorry.

S: Jazz speakers, then!

O: [Laughter]

S: Uh, Roller begins, uh, weaving between the Decepticons’ legs as they all start shooting at him.

O: The rest of the Autobots arrive just in time.

S: And Ratchet gets to be Ironhide again because he's miscolored. Again.

O: So, Ironhide is about to get eaten and is also driving up to himself.

S: Good times, good times, guys.

O: [Laughter]

S: While the Cons are distracted, Optimus rams the machine causing it to drop Ironhide onto the ground.

O: Megatron's pissed and fires on Optimus and Ironhide. 

S: Ratchet is uh, Ratchet again before turning back into ironhide for three sec- three seconds later.

O: Soundwave, his cassettes, Skywarp, and Thundercracker begin attacking them.

S: But at least Spike brought his personal protective equipment today.

O: Yay. 

S: Wheeljack is running in an attempt to protect the grenade in what can only be described as a Scooby-Doo-esque sequence.

O: Which is very applicable considering how many Scooby-Doo voice actors were in this show but anyway, I have no idea how the Cons know that Wheeljack's the one they should target right now but they are targeting him.

S: Yeah, two Thundercrackers appear to be chasing Wheeljack before one disappears, presumably Skywarp, uh, you know, teleporting and reappears as Starscream before yelling in Skywarp's voice.

O: So everything went wrong in that scene that possibly could. [Laughter] 

S: Well, aside from just completely forgetting to color characters at all.

O: Yes, yes but- but I think because the Seekers are all the same model it's almost worse when they're- they're colored the wrong color.

S: Yeah, the grenade is knocked out of Wheeljack's hand before Spike catches it.

O: Soundwave then makes a beeline for him and Soundwaves like, “Get the human microbe.” 

S: Spike then tosses the Holy Hand Grenade to Chip who begins wheeling away like there's absolutely no tomorrow. Soundwave sends out Ravage who knocks Chip over just as he throws the grenade to the Autobots.

O: Ravage, apparently, just leaves him alone after he does this instead of, I don't know, mauling him. 

S: He's a considerate cat. Thankfully the grenade does indeed work, pissing off Megatron who orders the Constructicons to combine.

O: And they seem quite happy to have something to do that isn't work on Megatron's pet projects.

S: Finally! Conflict!!! Hit it!!

O: Devastator then tosses the Autobots around.

S: And, surprising the hell out of us, the propulsion via hand thrusters makes a surprise second appearance with Wheeljack.

O: Who gets the great idea of defeating Devastator with the Transfixatron and enlists Cliffjumper to help him because he cannot reach the controls without help because the gun is too tall.

S: Yeah, so they hit Devastator with the gadget of the week and Devastator falls to pieces.

O: Megatron realizes they're outnumbered without Devastator and the Decepticons retreat.

S: Ironhide and Trailbreaker knock over the Transfixatron, which then has a tiny explosion for no good reason.

O: [Laughter]

S: Ratchet groans about how many repairs he's going to have to do now and the episode ends.

O: So join us next time for episode 43: The Golden Lagoon. Skinny dipping robots, skinny dipping robots everywhere. Oh, and also the Decepticons want to be... shiny.

S: And environmental destruction. But let's not forget the shiny.

O: [Laughter] The shiny is what's important here. 

S: Okay so we have two fanfic recommendations: one wild card fic from Owls and one from myself. Mine is “Going to the Dogs” by Koi Lungfish. It's in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated K+, it's Gen, there’s no pairings, and the characters are Red Alert, Prowl, Inferno, and Jazz. In summary, “Human tourists cause Prowl and Red Alert some confusion.” 

O: I could see that.

S: And so the reason I picked this one is because the race is basically like human outreach- social outreach, more or less. They're- they're trying to be entertainers, so the fan thing about the humans effectively trying to reach out and build more of a social profile with humans by inviting tourists into the Ark and trying to be transparent is- it's a fun concept and I like it.

O: Fair.

S: It's a one shot so therefore complete, so let's go on to Owls' choice!

O: All right, my fanfic suggestion for today is “Casting for a Tape Bros Film.” It is by LittleMissSweetGrass. The continuity is IDW, it is rated G. It is slash, but very light slash, I would say.  Our pairings are CosWave and our characters are Soundwave, Marissa, Rumble, Frenzy, Buzzsaw, Laserbeak, and Cosmos. And in summary, “Soundwave gets a phone call from Marissa that he really, really doesn't want to deal with right now.” It is a one shot, it's very short but it's very cute. It's kind of, I think, Soundwave trying to sleep and getting calls that involve Thundercracker.

Both: [Laughter]

O: A sudden attack of the Thundercracker.

S: Nice, and that just about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few.  And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, Youtube, or AO3!  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: I’m Owls.

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]