#I already spent a lotta time I was supposed to spend on. many many things. on an old horror interest I fell back into

[the-temple-of-light]

*clasps hands*

...So do I need to actually introduce this AU or can I just launch right into it-?

[jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets]

I Loved Him... Once - CH 2

Title: I Loved Him… Once

Author: jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Heid (Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid)

Rating: This ones General but eventually as the series goes it will be Explicit

Tags: canon typical violence and gore, eventual smut as the series goes, angst, fluff, pining., its gunna be a slow burn guys.

Summary: A series following the team as they solve crimes and take down the bad guys.

     In Part one of this series, we follow the team as they take down a serial killer that has taken a piece of one of their own. And through it all, Spencer and Hotch come to a few conclusions and realizations of their own.

AO3 Link

Masterlist

*** My works are not to be posted on any sites without my permission! But comments and reblogs are love! <3 Please and thanks!!

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Chapter two

     "Mommy, Mommy! Are you watching me?!"

     "I see you, Honey! That's very good!"

     "Watch again!"

     JJ smiled as she sat in the folding lawn chair, the legs slowly sinking down into the soft sand, a smile gracing her face as she watched her son swimming in the lake. A hand came from her side to rest over hers on the arm of her chair, entwining their fingers together, and she turned to smile over at her husband. 

     "I can't believe we've actually had five full vacation days without an emergency call in."

     "Me neither," Will smiled back as he brought her hand up to his mouth to kiss it, "it's nice to have some family time, no work, no cases, just you, me, and Henry."

     She hummed her agreement, then added, "We'll have to send your Aunt some flowers when we get back, thank her for letting us use the trailer this week."

     "Yeah, she'll like that."

     They sat in comfortable silence, watching Henry splash around, blissfully happy to just be together and free of the burdens of their heavy jobs. 

     The sun was starting to set, the air around them beginning to chill, so JJ turned over and pressed a quick kiss to Will's lips before standing and calling out, "Henry, come on out now!"

     "Ok!" 

     He ran out of the water towards his mom who was waiting to wrap him up tight in his favourite Captain America towel. She lifted him and held him close, pecking his cold wet cheek with a smack making him giggle. "What do you say we change into our pjs while Daddy starts a fire, and then we make smores!"

     "Yeah!" The boy shouted, throwing his arms in the air. 

     JJ laughed as he just missed smacking her in the face, and Will joined them after packing up the chairs and Henry's water Toys. He walked with his hand on the small of JJ's back as they headed back to the trailer, Henry extremely excited about smores. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Day six of Spencer's lecture series and he had finally made it to the lecture he was most anticipating. ‘Synthetic Metals: A Novel Role For Organic Polymers’ presented by Dr. Alan G. MacDiarmid, and he honestly hadn't known himself to ever be more excited then he was right now. 

     He arrived at the venue early, was the first person in line to enter the auditorium, and found himself a seat front and center. It wasn't long before the doctor was standing at the podium, instantly diving deep into the bones of the lecture, and Spencer couldn't believe he was finally here. Dr. MacDiarmid was enthralling. He captivated the attention of everyone in the auditorium, including spencer. And even though the topic of the lecture was something Spencer had been very interested in learning more about, and nothing against the amazing Dr. Macdiarmid, but about halfway through the lecture Spencer found his mind beginning to wander to other things.

     It was about the thirty minute mark of the lecture, and the doctor was talking about what he and his team had been working on over the past few years regarding the emerging potential technological applications of synthetic metals, beginning with the topic of spun polyaniline fibers and their applications to the future of nanotechnologies, when Spencer really found his concentration moving on to other things. Suddenly he was brought back to his brief conversation with Aaron in the bullpen before he left. His eidetic memory replaying the entire scene perfectly, right down to every twitch and shift in Aaron’s face, and every slight change in his demeanor while they spoke. Even the falter in his words before wishing him a good night before leaving the bureau. It wasn't like his steadfast boss to hesitate like that, his words and movements were always so sure, so he couldn't help it if he wondered if there was maybe something more behind the awkward exchange between him and Aaron.

     And in relation to those thoughts, he was also reminded of his conversations with Emily and Derek earlier that night. Were they right? Was he too uptight? Should he take their advice and have some fun for once, relax? Let his brain shut off and as Derek had so gracefully put it, take advantage of their time off to enjoy ‘a little sand, a little sun, and a whole lotta’ fun’? Maybe it would be good for him to spend a day doing something that didn't involve endlessly shoving knowledge down his throat, just doing nothing. And on that note he wondered if maybe… maybe Aaron would like to spend a day doing nothing with him…

     Suddenly, in an instant Spencer was on his feet, standing stock still in the middle of the auditorium. Dr. MacDiarmid stopped mid-sentence, staring at Spencer with concern along with the rest of the guests in their seats. When he didn't move or make a sound for a good few minutes, the doctor slowly moved from behind the podium to approach Spencer with caution asking, “Sir, are you alright? Do you need anything?”

     Spencer turned towards the doctor but didn't look at him. His eyes remained fixed on the floor in front of him, almost as if they were searching for the answer to his unasked question. His brows furrowed as his brain continued rapidly searching through every memory of him and Aaron, every encounter, every conversation, every look between them, and suddenly… he was pretty sure he had found his answer. A moment of pure enlightenment.

     “Son…” The doctor took a few more steps closer, placing a gentle hand on Spencer's shoulder, “Son, are you alright?”

     “I…” He finally looked up from the ground, his thoughtful expression turning to one of elation, of contentment, a smile slowly creeping across his face as he answered, “I have to go.”

     “I… Son?” The doctor called after him, but Spencer was already gone. He slung his book bag over his shoulder as he took the stairs out of the auditorium three at a time and burst out the doors. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Aaron was just about at the end of his patience. He had spent the first two days of his vacation on the phone with Haley fighting to get time with Jack while he was off, and now on day two he was at the point of practically begging. 

     “Haley, please. I have fourteen days off but who knows how many days I'll actually get before I have to go back for a case,” he sighed into the phone, running a heavy hand down his face as he plopped down on the couch, “all I’m asking for is a few days with my son. You have him full time while I'm working, the least you could do is give me a few days.”

     “He's supposed to be spending the weekend with my parents, Aaron,” she sniped back at him, not a care to the fact that Aaron hadn't seen Jack in over a month.

     “He sees your parents all the time, he saw them two weeks ago. You can reschedule the visit with your parents for any time, but I never know how much time I have before getting called away. I would appreciate a few days here and there when I ask for it, without having to go through this every time.”

     Silence fell over their call for a moment before he heard Haley sigh and knew he had won his case. “Fine,” she huffed, clearly annoyed, “I'll drop him off in an hour, call me in a few days when you want me to come get him.”

     “Thank-you, I'll be ready for him.”

     Without a good-bye or even another word, she hung up the phone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Not two hours later there was a light knock at his door and Aaron jumped off the couch, running to open it.

     “Daddy!” 

     “Hey, buddy!” 

     Jack ran through the door and jumped into Aaron’s arms, sinking his entire body into hugging his dad as tightly as he could. And Aaron gave as good as he got, squishing his son with a smile. 

     Haley walked in behind Jack, watching them, then making eye contact with Aaron over Jack's shoulder. “Call me when he's ready to come home.”

     Aaron nodded, then gave Jack a pat on the back before lowering him to the floor and saying, “Go say bye to Mommy, Jack.”

     He ran over to capture Haley in much the same way as he had hugged Aaron, whispered a goodbye and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Good-bye, my sweet boy, have fun with your Daddy, call me every night before bed, okay.”

     “Okay, Mommy.”

     “Alright,” she said, placing one last kiss to the top of his head before standing and heading for the door, “I'll see you in a few days.”

     She closed the door behind her and Jack immediately ran back over to hug Aaron, who willingly lifted him in his arms again. “I missed you, Daddy.”

     “I missed you too, buddy, I always miss you when you're not here.”

     “I know.”

     Hotch chuckled, then walked Jack over to the kitchen table and placed him in a chair before sitting across from him. He pushed the plate of snacks he’d put together before Jack got there, grabbing one of the small sandwiches for himself, before asking, “So, Jack, what do you want to do while you're here?”

     He made a show of thinking about it while he picked at the sandwich he had taken from the plate, then answered, “Can we go to the park?”

     “Of course, whatever you want.”

     Jack nodded, taking a bite then said, “I was supposed to go to grandma and grandpas house this weekend.”

     “I know, I'm sorry you couldn't visit them, buddy. I just don't know how much time off work I’ll have, or when I will be able to see you next.”

     “It's okay, I'm glad I didn't have to go.”

     Hotch couldn't help but smile a bit, “Why's that?”

     Jack shrugged, “They never take me to the park. They just tell me to play in the backyard, but that's no fun, there's no slides in the backyard.”

     He laughed, Jack was never one to hide his feelings and he loved that about his son. “Well, I promise I will take you to the park everyday while you're here with me, and you can go down the slide as much as you want.” Jack smiled at that, clearly pleased. “Is there anything else you want to do?”

     He made his adorable little thinking face again, but this time came up with nothing. Obviously trips to the park was the only expectation Jack had for this visit with his dad. So Aaron made a suggestion, “How about we go to the movies tonight? And we can get take out for dinner.”

     “Can it be McDonalds?!” 

     He was so excited he nearly jumped over the table, his mom never let him have McDonalds. “Sure, why don't you go get a sweater and we’ll head out now.”

     “Yay!” 

     It took Jack all of two minutes to run to his room, grab a sweater from the closet, and was ready and waiting at the door before Aaron had even grabbed his shoes.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Four days, he had gotten four full days off with Jack without any interruption and it was great. Jack was all smiles, loving every minute of being with Aaron and he was much the same, enjoying every second he could get with his son. They did go to the movies their first night together, and got McDonalds for dinner as promised. Aaron knew Haley never let Jack have things like fast food, pop, or candy, so he always made sure Jack got his fill when he stayed with him. 

     Over their time together, Aaron had also taken him to the local science center, where Jack was all too happy to learn about space in the astronomy section. They also visited the aquarium, Jack's favourites were the sharks and Aaron had to admit they were pretty awesome, the art gallery, and not to mention daily visits to the local park by Aaron’s apartment. Which is where they found themselves now on their fourth day together, walking across the soccer field to get to the large playground. 

     Jack wiggled excitedly in Aaron’s arms as he walked them over, scanning the playground and desperately trying to get free when he saw his friend on the swings. “Daddy, Markus is here!”

     Aaron put him on the ground and Jack was speeding off in an instant. “Stay where I can see you!”

     He didn't answer before making it over to sit on the swing beside Markus, but Aaron wasn't worried, Jack knew well enough to stay exactly where his dad could keep a close eye on him. And seeing as how Jack was having a good time playing with his friends, Aaron found himself a bench close by and sat to watch. He waved to a few of the other parents sitting and doing the same as him, but was perfectly happy to just sit by himself and enjoy the peace and quiet while Jack played happily.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     It was getting late, they still had dinner to make and the promise of a movie in their pj’s on the couch. He wondered if Spencer might like to join them. Wondered if maybe he should take Rossi's advice and call him, see if dinner and a movie with him and Jack was something Spencer might like to do with them. And after a few minutes of thinking about it, imagining the three of them on the couch together, tucked under the blankets with Spencer in a pair of borrowed pjs from Aaron, he decided he was going to call. When he got back home with Jack, before they ate he would do it, he would take the leap and make the call to Spencer.

     The other parents were starting to round up their kids as well, and Aaron was just about to call Jack over to start heading home, when his phone rang in his pocket. 

     He pulled it out with the all too familiar pang in his heart that came everytime he was in this position. On vacation, with Jack, and his phone rang. And everytime he has this moment where he thinks to himself maybe it's fine, maybe it's not work, but everytime he is always thoroughly disappointed. This time is no exception.

     He sighed, looking at the caller ID on his screen before answering, “Hotchner.”

     “Aaron, I need you and your team to come in.”

     “Erin, we’re supposed to be on a two week mandatory holiday,” he tried his best not to convey his anger through the phone, but he was sure he did not succeed. His team deserved this, needed this, and now he was going to have to break the bad news and ruin everything they had planned. 

     “I am aware of that, Agent Hotchner,” her no nonsense tone coming through, “but the other teams are all out in the field, and the California Police Department needs help now. You're all I've got, I have no other choice.”

     “Can’t one of the other teams finish up their current case, or split up their team to at least start working the case in California?”

     “I need you in the field, Aaron,” she was putting her foot down now and Aaron knew that was it, there was no fight here, “when can you get everyone back?”

     He waited a beat to answer, allowing himself a second to absorb the guilt he was feeling, then answered, “We have a few members of the team out of the country right now, I can probably get everyone back and in the office tomorrow afternoon if I start making calls and arranging flights now, evening at the latest, and we will leave for California right away.”

     “Great, I will see you all tomorrow.”

     And with that she hung up, not even giving Aaron the chance to say anything more that might refute her orders. And god, he wished he could. He wished with everything he had that he could tell her no, that he could let his team have the vacations they deserved. The time to relax, to spend with friends, with family, doing what they wanted for their full allotted two weeks. But he knew deep down he couldn't, and he also knew that despite how angry he knew his team would be, they would never blame him for their vacations being cut short. They would always drop everything they were doing, no matter how much it hurt them to do so, because there were always people out there who needed their help, and they would always be there to help them. That's one of the reasons they were the best team the Bureau had, and one of the reasons he was endlessly proud of them.

     With one last hard sigh he ran a hand down his face and called Jack over. He scooped him up and started making his way back to the car, strapping Jack in with the promise of still watching a movie of Jack's choice together after dinner. 

     After they ate and Aaron explained to Jack that he would have to go back to his moms the next morning, he settled Jack on the couch with popcorn and some blankets to scroll through their movie selection. 

     “Alright, you find a good movie for us to watch, and I'll be right back. Daddy just has to make some calls for work tomorrow.”

     “Okay, I'll find a good one.”

     Aaron nodded, but turned back to Jack with a last minute thought on his mind. “I'm sorry we have to cut the visit short, Jack, but I have to go in to work tomorrow, people need my help, you understand that right?”

     Jack nodded, eyes fixed on the tv while he answered, “It's okay, Daddy, I know you have to catch the bad guy. I can come back when you're done work and we can watch more movies.”

     Aaron smiled, so proud of his kid. “You sure can, buddy. Now you pick something good and I'll be right back.”

     He ducked into the kitchen holding his phone in his hand and just staring down at it for a moment. He took a second to compose himself back into boss mode, then dialed the number that had already been pulled up, wishing with all his might that this was not the call he was having to make to Spencer right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Spencer burst through the door to his apartment like a man on fire. He tossed his shoulder bag aside, pulled out his phone, and looked at the time. It was a little after five, Aaron was probably at home right now, maybe eating dinner or watching tv, and more then likely with jack. So, it was now or never. One brief moment of bravery was all he needed, he could do this. He faced criminal masterminds every day, he could gather up the courage to send one text to Aaron asking him to have dinner… maybe.

     He quickly typed up a message, kind of a mess of his thoughts all forced out in one big push. But thankfully he read it before sending it, ‘Hi, I was just wondering how your vacation is going? I hope it's going well. I'm assuming you have some time with Jack these two weeks, maybe you'd both like to join me for a walk in the park, or even dinner and a movie night? I was thinking we could have some fun together since I believe we are the only two remaining in town.” 

     His thumb hovered over the send button, but he stopped himself, erased it and tried again. ‘Hello, Aaron. I hope your vacation is going well. Mine has been adequate so far. But before our departure from the BAU, Emily and Derek informed me that I could use some fun in my life. I hadn't been aware that I was lacking in the area, but perhaps you would like to join me for some fun before we return to work?’

     Again he erased it before he could bring himself to send the message, and he tried three more times after that, each one a failed attempt at asking Aaron out. And that's what he realized he was doing here, he was asking his boss on a date. It wasn't exactly something that Spencer had ever done before, always being the awkward, quiet guy who was far too shy to ever make the first move, but he found himself this time saying why not? Why not take the first leap? But every message he typed out sounded wrong, or awkward, or too formal, or not formal enough. 

     He stopped himself then, taking a deep calming breath before closing the text window and pulling up Aaron's phone number. Maybe it would be better to just call him, that way he couldn't overthink this as much as he was right now. He'd be forced to just jump right in.

     “Yeah, let's just call him. That's… that's the best option, right.” 

     He nodded to himself, psyched himself up a little bit, and was about to press the call button when his phone started ringing in his hands. The caller ID coming up as none other than Aaron Hotchner, the very man he was just about to call. His heart gave a little flutter at the idea that Aaron was calling him, maybe even for the same reason he was going to be calling him for. Maybe Aaron wanted this as much as he did, and he just hadn't seen it. The thought sent a jolt of electricity through him as he answered.

     “Hotch, hey, I was just about to call you-”

     “I'm sorry, Reid,” he stopped him short, “but whatever it was you had planned this week, is there any way you can cancel or rearrange? We need everyone back in the office no later than tomorrow evening.”

     “I…” He sighed, trying not to let his disappointment flow through the call. So he cleared his throat and tried to answer professionally. “Yeah, yeah, sure I can be there.”

     “Good, can you meet us at the office tomorrow evening, everyone should be back by then?”

     “Absolutely.”

     “Thanks, Reid, and I'm sorry to have to cut your vacation short.”

     “No problem, I will see you tomorrow.” They both hung up and it took all of Spencer's strength not to slam his phone down on the counter. “It's not like I had any fun plans anyways.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Next chapter we will be getting into more of the case and more Spencer and Hotch moments XD

Let me know what y’all think <3

[yamithediaperdork]

Digi Sleep over (Digimon...duh. XD)

Ken was blushing and a nervous wreck as he waited on Davis. the former evil overlord and now mostly good guy had been trying for weeks to come off as more kind and friendly, but tonight was the big test, one he'd never tried before he turned evil despite how popular he had been. A sleepover. He's actually tried to invite all of the other digi destined but his own parents weren't comfortable with girls spending the night. Cody was too young according to his grandfather and TK was going off to hang out with his big brother. That left Ken alone with his semi kinda sorta crush Davis. (in fact, the only reason he'd invited as many of them as he had, knowing that Cody didn't trust him, was that he was nervous about being alone with Davis.) as he checked to make sure everything was perfect for the millionth time, the door bell rang and he practically leap over the couch, the foot stool and his parents to answer the door. Breathing slightly harder then normal, and hair all messed up he opened the door and grinned. "Hey Davis! glad you could make it!"

Originally Davis wasn't going to go to the sleepover, due to how many people were going to be there.  It wasn't that he didn't like the the idea of hanging out with all of his friends, or wanted to hog Ken or Kari's attention all to himself, but more it was because of a personal issue that had come up recently. He'd had it all planned out in his head that he'd show up and hang out for awhile, before taking off and not spending the night and claiming it was because of a family thing but then had watched as digi destined after digi destined dropped out of the sleepover and KNEW he couldn't bail and leave ken high and dry. the irony of those words weren't lost on the boy as he was lead into the apartment, smiling and making small talk with Ken before they sat down to start a video game marathon. A few hours of spamming video games, bad TV and junk food later and Ken's mom 'gently suggested' (Read: outright told them)  that they might wanna hit the hay with it being 1 in the morning. They boy's hadn't even realized it was so late, and sheepishly both agreed and went to get ready for bedtime, which was something that Davis had been nervous about all night, though now with him on the crashing end of a sugar rush it didn't seem to big anymore as he went into the bathroom to get ready.

Ken had changed into a pair of light blue PJ bottoms, he rarely wore the shirts as he was vain enough to enjoy how his muscles looked, and waited on Davis to come out of the bathroom. The past few hours had be awesome and he was happier then he had been in a long time, even if he was trying to temper the fact he was having so much fun with Davis with the fact that he was nursing a MASSIVE crush on the goggle boy. 'Guess it's a good thing he wanted to get changed in the bathroom then. though man..the fact i missed out on seeing him in just his undies..' Ken thought and smirked, then caught him. 'No no no, we are NOT going to go all pervert and ruin a friendship!' he mentally scolded himself, willing himself to use the head on his shoulders to think. "heh, sorry that took a bit." Davis said, walking back into the room and smiling, and blushing a little. The goggle boy was wearing a soccer themed inspired pair of bed time shorts and a top, though as Ken looked at the big goof, he couldn't help but notice that Davis's crotch looked oddly a little bulky, and he was walking a little funny. 'Do NOT comment on that! he'll wanna know why your looking there!' Ken warned himself and tried to focus on just how cute Davis looked in his themed outfit. "well you weren't in there that long. I figured you were just answering natures call." he said and gave a warm smile. "heh, welll was that." Davis said and blew a raspberry, then bent down to adjust his sleeping bag on the floor next to Ken bed. And as he bent down the boy's sudden semi bubble butt appearance was given a explanation. the top of the shirt rode up while the shorts rode down and there was a flash of something white and crinkly, and Ken started to blush and smile as he realized what it was. 'Oh. My. God. He's wearing a diaper!!' If there was ONE thing Ken loved more then a goofy boy, it was a goofy diaper boy and he quickly grabbed a pillow and put it over his lap to hide the effects that seeing Davis in padding was having on him. "So uh, don't take this the wrong way..but maybe next time get a air mattress or something for me to sleep on." Davis was chuckling as he got the sleeping bag all in place, wiggling his padded rear as he did so though whether he knew he was doing it or not, Ken wasn't sure. "That or you can just scoot over and share your bed next time."  Davis added with a chuckle. "O-Oh Ok." Ken squeaked. Davis looked over his shoulder, giving Ken a weird a look as he noticed how crimson the other boy was getting. "Youuuu ok?" Davis asked, raising a eyebrow. "Y-yeah! I'm totally diaper. I mean fine!" Ken said and then face palmed. It was davis turn to blush and he reached behind himself and tugged at the shorts. "ehehehe yeahhh Maybe shoulda gone with the long pants huh?" he said and stuck a touage out. "er..well..i was trying not to say anything but..Y-Yeahhh.." ken said and squirmed. "Dude, you look more flustered then me, you ok?" Davis asked, and then noticed ken holding the pillow to his lap. "oh, you need diapers too?" he asked and reached down, yanking the pillow away before ken could stop hi. and then looking at the tent that ken was making in his pants and blanket. "Heh..is that for little old me?" Davis asked, grinning ear to ear and then winking. "NO!!" Ken whined and reached up, snagging the pillow back and whimpering. "Reallly, so if I did something like THIS, it won't affect you?" Davis said in a impish tone and then hooking his thumbs on the waistband of the shorts, he tugged them down while bending over and wiggling his now fully on display diapered ass. Ken let out a gargle of words, then got up and dashed out of the room, having a accident of sorts in his pants as he took off running, Davis's giggles ringing in his ears.

Davis was laughing softly, he hadn't of pegged ken as the type to play for both teams, let alone be interested in diaper boys, but seeing how it put him in control, he wasn't questioning it. He'd been worried about Ken seeing the diapers and laughing at him before, now now that he knew how easy it would be to well, 'set ken off' He figured he could relax and milk this for a whole lotta fun. To that extent he finished taking off his shorts and moved from the sleeping bag on the floor up into the bed, though he hadn't covered up yet, and waited on Ken's return. As Ken came back up, blushing and looking a little huffy, and now in a black pair of shorts that must of been in the hamper in there, he gave Davis a look as the goggle boy stretched out on Ken's bed. "Draw me like one of your french girls~" he said and giggled. "...Your not funny." Ken  huffed. "Awww It's ok Ken. you can always bum a diaper from me if you think you're gonna have anther accident." Davis teased. "No thanks..but uh..Why are you even..I was pretty sure you weren't a bed wetter since you spent the night in the digi world a few times back in the day and well..Yolei doesn't seem the type who'd of kept that to herself." Heh, Yeahhh no way she would of kept her trap shut. Was almost why i didn't come tonight..welll was gonna show up and hang out for a bit but bail before bedtime." Davis laughed, sitting up and patting on the bed for Ken to sit down. It was just so CUTE the flustered look Ken got on his face as he slowly took a seat. "S-Still didn't answer the question.." Ken mumbled. "oh yeah! sooo you know I've been semi benched the last 3 games for my team right?" Davis asked, scooting in a little closer to Ken who was going crimson again. "Y-yeah." the bigger boy squeaked. "Yeahhhh FOUR games ago I took a power shot that was suppose to make the ball go into the net, but made the ball go right into my junk." Davis said, wincing a little as he recalled. "Ouch!" Ken said, wincing a little himself picturing it. "yeah. did NOT tickle. anyways, Needed pull ups for a few days after but totally did a number on my bladder and night time control, and since I'm such a heavy wetter..Mom and dad just got me the biggest diapers they could." Davis said and shrugged. "well you look cute at least." ken said and then put a hand over his mouth, the blush getting worse. "heh awww, you think so? Does big tough Ken love him a diaper butt boy?" Davis teased and giggled. "I-i No?"Ken tried. "oh, well then if you don't, then there's NO issue with me sleeping in your bed with you and cuddling into you tonight right?" Davis asked. Ken made a funny face, and then got up to run to the bathroom again. "..Maybe I better tone down the teasing before he goes though all his laundry.."

Digging though the hamper Ken found anther pair of PJ's, white this time, and while they had a slight smell to them, at least they didn't have a you know what stain on the front as he got changed, again. 'I swear to god, at the rate he's going I'm not gonna make it though the night.' Ken whined in his head. in semi clean pants he splashed some cold water on his face from the sink, then made his way back into the bedroom. Davis was back on his sleeping bag now and looking sheepish. "Ehehehe..Sorry about that man..I really didn't think I'd make you...Ya know..twice in such a short amount of time." "I-It's ok. J-Just uh.. Yeah. guess I might as well as admit it now..I do like cute diaper boys like you." ken said. "Welll I kinda already figured it out what with you running o-" Davis started then paused, blushing now. "Y-You think I'm cute?" ken gave a smile now and chuckled. "no, I always cream my pants over guys i have no interest in." he teased. Sensing a change in the flow of power, It was ken who got in bed and then patted next to him. "you know, you might as well come up here and share a bed with me." Ken said and smirked. "O-Oh..uh..well i didn't wanna make you have anther accident." Davis said, rubbing the back of his head. well tell you what. if i do, I'll take up your earlier offer, and who knows, maybe YOU'LL be the one having a 'accident' seeing ME wiggling my butt." Ken chuckled. Davis's eyes went wide as he got a mental picture of that, and then squirmed around, lots. "Heh, Did somebody just start to like diaper boys?" Ken teased. "M-maybe!' Squeaked out Davis, who cleared his throat. "Maybe." he said again in his normal tone. "it's ok, you can pretend I'm Kari if you want." Ken laughed as Davis crawled up into the bed and laid next to him. "ehehehe well actually.. Kinda semi getting over her for the most part." Davis said. "really? I've seen the way you've been all , heh, pardon the phase, goo goo gaga over her." "heh. Wellll kinda caught her and TK making out soooo don't really think I'ma have a shot anytime soon. Like Interested but not about to go out of my way to break them up." Davis said, snuggling into the pillow and letting Ken cover them both up with his blanket and turn off the light by clapping. "well -I- think you could land anyone you wanted.And Kari would be lucky to snag you." ken said and pulled Davis in for a light hug. "ehehehe..Thanks. Though I don't think most people shopping around for a boyfriend want one who can't go the night without flooding his pants. "Heh, you'd be surprised." ken chuckled. As Ken went to pull back from the hug, he was semi shocked, though pleased as Davis scooted in and nuzzled into him. "heh. somebodies feeling all cuddly." "heh..Yeahhh i kinda..normally cuddle Veemon or a stuffie at night..and he's with the other digimon and I didn't wanna look like a total baby." Davis giggled and blew a raspberry. "Diapers aside you mean." Ken teased playfully. "You really wanna tease me and make me pull back, or just enjoy you got a diaper boy snuggling into your chest?" Davis asked. "...Shutting up."

Davis drifted off fairly quick after that, snuggling into Ken and coo'ing softly as he went under and then gentle streams of baby babble coming out of his mouth once he was under. Ken for his part was tired enough, for obvious reason, but wanted to stay awake as long as he could to enjoy this, not sure if he'd EVER get anther chance to have this little cutie padded up and cuddling him. 'I wonder if I could convince him to wear full time? and be my little stinker?' Ken thought, day dreaming about a droopy diaper Davis whimpering and holding out a clean diaper, lisping for a bum change. 'You might wanna actually ask him out first before trying to get him to be your 24/7 baby butt.' his common sense rang in, making Ken frown. Leave it to common sense to break up a cute idea! Still there was some logic to it, if he was gonna whine for Davis to wear and use his diapers ALL the time he should at least officially ask him out, take him out on a few dates and the like. Still it couldn't hurt to THINK about it, and shutting his eyes he went back to thinking about Davis in short-all's and a massive diaper butt, running around the playground. He almost drifted off to sleep thinking about it, then he felt a sudden warmth on the leg that against the front of Davis's diaper. 'Holy cow..it's not that i thought he was fibbing, but he really IS a helpless bed wetter!!' Ken gushed mentally and then gushed not so mentally for the third time tonight. '..next sleep over I'm wearing one of the diapies too.' was his last thought as he snuggled into the little cutie.

[firethatgrewsolow]

Swiss Time - Chapter Sixteen

**The adventure continues (and this time it didn’t take ten years between chapters lol). Side note - it’s come to my attention that the little separator lines don’t work on mobile, so if the transitions in the chapter seem abrupt, that’s why. Apologies! Thanks for reading, and I hope you like it! <3**

Natalie jumped at the sharp crunch behind her, dropping the phone into its cradle. She spun around to find her aunt gnawing on a piece of celery, a devilish grin firmly planted on her face.

“How’s David? Enjoying the land of the rising sun?”

Nat’s mouth fell open. “Were you … eavesdropping on my conversation?”

“Of course.” Another crunch rang the room. “Would you expect anything less?”

Natalie snatched the stalk away, tossing it onto the bar. “Has anyone told you how obnoxious you are?”

“I do my best.” Sue gingerly reclined onto the sofa, nursing her bloody mary. “So, what did you talk about?”

“Why don’t you tell me? Since you were listening to the whole damn thing.”

“I just caught the last part. Unfortunately,” Susan added with a wink. “I suppose you didn’t mention where you spent last night, huh? And that you barely made it here in time for the call?”

Natalie sank into the chaise next to the window. “No. I didn’t.”

“Speaking of last night, care to fill me in on the details?”

“Not really.”

Susan cocked her head. “You are on the pill, right?”

“Aunt Sue!”

“Just making sure you’re safe. After all, you’re quite the juggler. Last night with Robert and then our trip down under next week?” Sue’s lips curved approvingly. “My, my, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Maybe I don’t. Natalie’s eyes glided to the sheet of glass beside her. The sun was beginning its descent, casting shimmering shapes across the expanse of Lake Geneva. She watched the elegant crafts threading through them, her mind wandering. She hadn’t meant for things to escalate so quickly with either of them. Truth be told, the connection with David had been somewhat of a surprise. As was how precious he’d been to her. Promising to call and actually doing it. He always keeps his promises. Unlike someone else she knew. There was another truth, though, a painfully obvious one. And that was that it just didn’t matter. Robert could do or not do whatever he pleased, and she’d still be lost. The draw she had to him trumped everything. What am I getting into? What am I already in?

“Out of your head, Nattie. You’re not answering the question.”

Natalie met her aunt’s vexed gaze. “I’m sorry. What was it?”

“Do they know about each other?”

Nat hesitated, rolling her lips. “Kind of.”

Sue’s brow lifted. “That’s a no if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Not true. Robert knows that I … spend time with David.”

“Darling, you may spend time with David, but you spent the night with Robert.”

Nat shook her head. “But we didn’t do anything … much. Just watched a movie and hung out.”

“Hung out,” Susan repeated, barking a laugh. “I like it. Nice euphemism. I wonder exactly what was hanging out.” She grinned as her niece cut her eyes at her. “You do realize what you’re doing here, right? A game of cat and mouse with some pretty big egos.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sighing, Sue propped her feet up on the coffee table. “You know these aren’t boys from school, Nat. They’re grown men, and they’re not typically fond of sharing.”

Natalie shrugged. “There’s nothing to share.”

“You spent the night in Robert Plant’s hotel suite, honey. If that’s nothing then it’s a whole lotta nothing.”

“Bullshit is what it is. They have girls in every city. Probably more than one.” Nat crossed her arms. “Hypocrites, the lot of them.”

“Hypocrisy is the principle they live by. And you’re well aware of it. Look, all I’m trying to say is that you’re getting in a little deep. And that’s something, coming from me.” Susan rose, padding toward the bar. “You’re playing with fire, love. And somebody’s going to get burned.”

Nat’s attention returned to the glittering lake. Maybe Sue was right. It was a lot to handle. And she’d promised herself she’d not get involved. It was a load of trouble, but more importantly, a potential career killer, and she was just starting to gain real traction. The rattle of glass against crystal filled the air, and Natalie glanced at her aunt. “Isn’t it a bit late in the day for bloody marys?”

“My day just started, sweet. This is breakfast.” Susan tipped the vodka, pouring liberally. “Would you like one? I hate to drink alone, and seeing as how Christian’s stuck at the casino with your boyfriend-”

“My boyfriend? Really?”

“Well, one of them,” Sue drawled, capping the bottle.

“What’s he doing down there?”

Susan rifled through the swizzle sticks, finally opting for her discarded stalk of celery. “Why, it’s the soundcheck, darling. Don’t you remember?”

Oh, shit. Natalie stole a peek at the clock on the bookcase. “Sue, will you call a car? I’m late.”

* * *

“So, you shag her yet?”

Robert rolled his eyes. “It’s none of your business, Bon-”

“That’s a no.” Bonzo cackled, his gaze for an instant darting lower. “You must be in a bloody bad way then, yeah?”

The singer expelled a tense breath, partly in frustration at the lack of filter on his friend but mostly because he was spot on. The night had been magical … sweet, loving, and far from chaste, but not quite the scenario that he’d hoped for. Robert clenched his jaw as Bonzo droned on.

“Well, never mind that. We’ll be in the States before long. Plenty of birds there.”

The drummer spoke the truth, but somehow the words were far from consoling. Robert needed Natalie, not some random girl from the third row. He’d resigned himself to the fact that it was probably going to take time, and he wasn’t going to pressure her or speed things along. He wanted her to want him so badly she couldn’t wait another minute. He knew it would be worth it in the end, but, fuck, he wished the clock would tick just a tiny bit faster. Still, it had been a joy simply being with her, their playful kisses and quiet whispers as they explored each other. Christ, he’d never seen somebody get so wet. It drove him completely mad. She knew it, too, flashing him the wicked little smile usually reserved for when she got her way, which was most of the time. And how she would secretly study him when she didn’t think he could tell what she was doing. Absolutely adorable. Ahh, and her eyes, so big and dark, one second wide and nervous, the next sly, devious. And sexy. Fucking hell, so sexy. He’d watched them close as she’d fallen asleep in his arms, the moonlight finally melding into morning. She’d woken up in them, too, a tangly-haired, sleepy-eyed mess. His tangly-haired, sleepy-eyed mess. He clenched his jaw again, tamping his body’s response.

“Bloody fuckin’ hell, mate. You’re a fuckin’ lost cause.”

Robert blinked, finding Bonzo through the film of the reverie. “What?”

“Get out of your head. And I’m not talkin’ about the one on your shoulders.” The drummer lit a cigarette, blowing out a thin stream of smoke. “I was saying you’re a lost cause. And that your girl’s even later that you thought she’d be.”

Robert canvassed the clock hanging haphazardly above the catering table. Bonzo was right. She was going to miss the soundcheck. Damn it. For a moment, he considered ringing her, as he’d done earlier. Meh, it’ll probably still be busy. They must have it off the hook. He snagged a Chimay from the small aluminum tub they’d set up as a makeshift cooler. What was she doing? She’d been gone for over three hours. It didn’t take that long to shower and fetch fresh clothes. Odd, very odd. His stomach rumbled as the aroma of newly delivered short ribs wafted through the room, and with a sigh, he pushed the thought away.

Nat sprang out of the taxi, hustling across the street before the light changed. She rounded the corner, bound for the casino, stopping in her tracks at what awaited her. A throng of people encompassed it, packed shoulder to shoulder along the sidewalks. She scanned the smoky crowd, lingering on a trio of girls that were casing those around them apprehensively. They know they aren’t getting in. In truth, most weren’t. There were simply too many of them. Some were seemingly stoned enough not to care, but that wouldn’t be the case with everyone. Summoning her reserve, she dove into the thick of it, worming her way through with resolute determination. Weathering a few scowls and cross words, she finally reached the tall double doors that marked the entrance to the concert hall. She rapped on the glass, waving to Tom, who was in conversation with a security guard she didn’t recognize. She slipped through the crack he made for her, leaning back against the doors as they shut.

“You should have come around the other way.”

Her eyes flickered to his. “Appreciate the advice, Captain Hindsight. I thought this way would be quicker. I had no idea there would be so many people.”

“You missed the soundcheck.”

Nat waved her hand dismissively. “Couldn’t be helped.”

“Robert didn’t look too happy.”

She ignored the ribbing and the goofy smile on his face. “Are you going to get to film? I did my best.”

“Looks like it. But that Grant guy ... he’s, um-”

“Formidable. I know. Just don’t fuck it up, and you’ll be fine.” She smirked, brushing past him as he turned a shade paler.

She located the boys in the private anteroom adjacent to the hall. Robert and Bonzo were in the corner, hovering over one of the catering tables while Peter and Christian reclined on the sofa, discussing McCartney’s new band, Wings. John Paul and Jimmy were in opposite folding chairs, quietly tuning their guitars and sipping Heineken. Such a contrast to the wild sea of fans just meters away.

“You’re late. You missed the sound check.”

Natalie glanced toward the source of the grumpy proclamation, squelching her amusement. Robert was posing, hands on hips, pouting like an overgrown toddler. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me for having a life. I had to go back home at some point.”

The singer grumbled. “There was a song I wanted to do for you.”

“Sneak it into Whole Lotta Love. You put everything else in there.” She blew him a kiss, falling into the sofa next to Peter, who patted the top of her leg with a beefy hand.

“What’s it like out there, love?”

“It’s a madhouse. I mean, everyone’s being cool, but I bet there are four or five thousand people. And this place only holds two.” She caught Jimmy appraising her out of the corner of her eye. “Have you thought of maybe piping the sound outside?”

“Bloody hell, no!” Peter scoffed, crushing his cigarette. “We do that and there’ll be twenty fuckin’ boots on the shelves before it’s even bloody over.”

Natalie dropped her bag on the end table. “So what? Christian’s filming the damn thing.”

“Yeah, but he’s not trying to sell it.”

“Well, I think you’re making a mistake. These people came from miles away, and some of them are going to be pretty pissed off when they realize they can’t get in. You should give them something.”

“Peter, I agree with Natalie. They deserve it for travelling from so far away.”

She pursed her lips to quell her smile. The band leader had spoken, and that sealed the deal. With a grunt, Peter stood, gesturing to Christian, and the two men disappeared into the hall. Nat kicked off her sandals, curling her legs underneath her.  “If it’s any consolation, I believe you’re doing the right thing.”

“T’was a good idea.” Jimmy angled his guitar against the sofa. “Peter’s a bit too protective at times.”

“It means quite a lot that you’re allowing Christian to film the concert.”

Jimmy rose, taking the manager’s former seat. “He’s promised us discretion and full authority to destroy it if we deem that necessary.”

“I see.” The cagey nature of the group was no secret. They ran a tight ship and a closed shop, the collaboration with Sandy Denny being one of the rare exceptions. If something didn’t show Zeppelin in the best possible light, it didn’t get shown. Or it disappeared. Nat had heard rumblings about an episode in Bath the previous year. The boys meant business. “Do you ever think you might regret being so heavy-handed about things like bootlegs? Maybe one day you might wish there were more.”

Jimmy met her gaze. “Regret isn’t in my nature. It’s wasteful. And I tend to believe that events transpire as they’re meant to.”

Nat had forgotten what a curious color his eyes were. Not quite green, but not quite hazel. There wasn’t really a name for it. “Like destiny, you mean?” She watched them narrow for a fraction of a second, his response lost to the raucous shouts behind her.

“Bonzo, you fucking git! You’ve ruined it!”

“I told you not to touch my food, mate.”

Nat twisted around to find an extremely furious Robert holding up his black bolero, which was slathered in a reddish-brown sauce. As Bonzo dissolved into a fit of boisterous laughter, she did the same, her hand sailing to her mouth.

“Fuck you, mate.” The singer shoved him mightily, stumbling backwards as his friend returned the favor.

Nat jumped up as they repeated the action, warily circling each other. “Cut it out, you guys.” She yanked the blouse from Robert’s grasp, surveying the damage. “Don’t be such a baby. This will come out with a wash. It’ll be as good as new by tomorrow.”

“Well, what am I going to wear tonight, then?”

“Who gives a fuck, Percy. Just prance around like you always do.”

Robert flew at him, but Bonzo was ready. With surprising agility, he skipped to the side, sending the singer straight into Natalie. She hit the ground with a resounding thud. “Goddamnit! What are you doing?”

“Christ, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

Robert held out his hand, but Nat smacked it, grabbing Bonzo’s instead. “You’re like a bull in a china shop. Too rowdy.” She dusted the dirt from the back of her dress, freezing as she spied a newly formed rip in the sleeve of her cardigan. “Damn it! Look what you did.”

Robert picked up the discarded bolero, draping it on the arm of the sofa as he peered over her shoulder. “Did I do that? It’s not so bad.” He grinned as she glared at him.

“I just bought it.” Sliding off the sweater, Natalie inspected the tear. “And now I’ll have to get it mended.”

Robert tugged the cardigan away, his mouth curving as he admired the white and yellow daisies along the placket and collar. “This is rather nice. Blue, too, my favorite color.” He nibbled his lip. “I don’t suppose you’d consider letting me-”

“I want it back. Fixed.”

“You’re on, lads!” Peter’s voice rumbled through the room. It was time.

[nevillelongsbottom]

the loop pairing: newt scamander/credence barebone word count: 1849 for the @hogwartsonline february quidditch

This is Newt’s fiftieth February 14; as he gets up, he wonders if he could count it as an anniversary. But it still doesn’t feel like something to celebrate, trapped in one Valentine’s Day for an interminable period of time.

He has bunked off school for the past twenty, so supposes he might as well attend today, even though he knows all of his lessons by heart now. He considers sneaking into other lessons, or spending his day in the library. He sighs.

He hopes he doesn’t die today. He doesn’t always, but he choked yesterday and he can still feel the ghost of it in his throat.

Maybe, he thinks as he scoops his cat Pippa from his bed so that he can make it, he should celebrate Valentine’s Day for his fiftieth day. He gave up a while ago, after eating too many chocolate caramel hearts. Nobody at school has bought himself anything for the chocolate exchange. It disappoints him a little every day, and he can’t tell if it’s because he’s half-jealous of Jacob and Queenie being such sweethearts or if he’s feeling a little lonely. He hums, kissing Pippa’s head.

He borrows his mum’s iPod before he leaves the house. As in almost every repeat of the day, he almost misses the bus: no matter what time he leaves the house, he seems eternally fated to have to run down the street, sitting at the back of the forty-two in a cloud of sweat. Today, he’s listening to Kurt Vile and Courtney Barnett’s Lotta Sea Lice. He knows the words off by heart now; the first week or two of his loop, he mostly listened to David Bowie and Buddy Holly, but ever since he’s been jumping around his and his mother’s music tastes. He wonders if he’ll hate these songs if he leaves the loop, if they’ll remind him of the claustrophobia of being stuck.

But as of right now, he still loves Kurt Vile, loves the blues riff that hangs over his repeated day.

In the foyer, Seraphina and Abernathy are manning the Valentine’s chocolate stall. This is one of the only things that isn’t stagnant throughout his loops: the people in charge of the stall fluctuate with no discernible pattern, and Newt has never actually seen this particular pairing of student council members in charge of the stall before. Abernathy isn’t a fan of Valentine’s Day.

“Can I tempt you to buy someone some chocolates, Newt?” Seraphina asks, smiling wirily at him, knowing he’s more likely to say no. “They’re caramel hearts. They’re delicious. Everybody loves chocolate. Even Abernathy is sending some.”

“Hey,” Abernathy sniffs.

“To Gellert?” Newt asks. Abernathy sighs. His unrequited love for the student council vice president has never been particularly subtle. Newt smiles sympathetically. “I suppose I’ll send some.” He hands over a two-pound coin he’s spent on everything from sweets to a terrific bright red sale bowler from Primark.

“Who are you sending them to?” she asks, and with it, the implication of platonic or romantic?

“Credence Barebone,” Newt answers. Seraphina raises an eyebrow. Newt fixedly says nothing in return.

“And would you like to send a note?” she asks, proffering a piece of red card cut into the shape of a heart. “You can write it yourself. I don’t have to listen to your sweet nothings. But maybe refrain from any animal similes.”

“I’m not very romantic,” Newt admits, taking the Sharpie and musing for a few moments before writing carry on, my dear. fondly from Newt. Abernathy peers at it, but Seraphina is professional and turns it over, marking it with Credence’s name. “I hope he likes it.”

“Everybody likes chocolate,” Abernathy says. “Even Gellert.”

Newt has never told Credence that he liked him before. He’s not even sure that my dear and fondly count. But he’s done this day fifty times, watched Credence sit on his own at lunch time eating a pathetic excuse for a lunch, watched him shrink away when the Valentine’s chocolates get delivered.

And Newt can’t watch anymore, not even when he knows that this day will probably pass.

He doesn’t get to see his chocolates delivered - there are deliveries in the classes he shares with Credence, one in maths that the recipient shares around so they eat theirs together over rearranging equations. Credence understands this more than Newt does, still, even though he’s explained it repeatedly. Newt only gets a little better. He smiles at Credence as they eat. Perhaps he’ll never really get the intricacies of it all, or understand why certain things have to be done in maths, or get why he has to be given such stupidly difficult questions, but Credence will always be here to try and explain it through different paradigms.

“Do you wanna stop for a minute?” Credence asks softly, sensing Newt’s acute frustrations over a particularly vexing x. Newt nods, and they take the moment to eat.

“Thank you,” Newt says. “For helping me with maths. I know I’m not very good at it.”

Credence flushes. “That’s okay,” he says, and looks at Newt as if he wants to say something else, but doesn’t. He just finishes eating, turns back to the textbook, and asks if Newt has figured out what to do yet.

Newt’s last class of the day is a double of art, and he is currently occupied with carrying out a series of paintings of animals inspired by the style of John J. Audubon’s Birds of America. The one bonus of the loop, he thinks, is that he’s had time to improve his art, and learn from his mistakes. He’s starting to get adept at this particular painting of a cockatiel, knows exactly the best colours to mix and the best brushes to use.

What’s never happened before, assumedly because Newt has never sent chocolate before, is the arrival of Credence. The art department is relaxed, with students working all across the rooms with a variety of equipment, and so there isn’t a teacher to question his arrival: it’s just Newt, his Bluetooth speakers, and Horchata by Vampire Weekend.

“Hello,” he says, noticing Credence and setting down his brush.

“Hi,” says Credence. “Thank you for the chocolates. That was very nice - they were very nice.” Credence pauses for a moment, and Newt waits, lets his mind turn. “I kept some. I thought you could have some, too.”

“Oh, thank you very much.” Newt gestures to a nearby stool (art departments, of course, do not seem to understand the concept of chairs), which Credence pulls up. “I’m sorry. I know those chocolates were awfully forward.”

“No, I - I know I’m not supposed to like you like that, that it’s not right, but I…” Credence flushes. “I do.”

Newt raises his eyebrows. “Well, ah… that’s good.” He laughs. “I wasn’t expecting that. I’m sorry. Listen, do you want to talk about this more another time? Maybe over coffee? There’s that nice one across the street, the Blind Pig…”

Credence nods. “I would - like that.”

Newt beams. “Okay. Uhm, tomorrow’s Friday, so we could always go after school then, if you aren’t busy?”

“Ma expects me home in good time to go flyering,” Credence says, his voice quieting for a moment, “but I’m sure I can - maybe an hour.” He glances at the canvas. “I told my teacher I was sick, so can I… watch you paint, maybe? Or - or I don’t have to, if that’ll put you off.”

Newt smiles, popping a chocolate in his mouth and picking up his brush. He didn’t expect this day to go so well: what an anniversary, he thinks. The thing that saddens him is the idea that tomorrow isn’t going to come, that he’s never going to make it to that coffee date with Credence in the artisanal coffee shop opposite their school campus. He’s glad that Credence likes him back, that he isn’t completely overwhelmed by his heavily conservative Christian upbringing, that he’s willing to try it and risk it - for Newt.

Newt just has to enjoy the rest of the day as best he can. And tomorrow - the next February 14th - he’ll miss it.

The incredibly loud start to Harry Nilsson’s Gotta Get Up playing on Newt’s speakers jolts him awake, and he jolts out of bed, just catching himself before he topples to the floor. He groans. “God, Mum-”

“Do I look that much like her?” Theseus demands, and Newt looks up, rather surprised to see the tall figure of his brother standing in his doorframe. Nobody told him that Theseus was coming to visit from Durham, and furthermore - this hasn’t happened before. Theseus has never been here. Newt’s heart glimmers with hope.

“Well, when you had that long hair, you certainly did,” Newt answers, climbing out of bed and into Theseus’s obligatory bear hug, which he also uses as a chance to ruffle Newt’s already bedraggled hair. “When did you get here? Mum didn’t say you were coming.”

“I thought I would surprise you,” Theseus says. “Though mostly I’m here for the free lunches. My bank account looks like I’ve been through an economic crisis.”

“Stop buying fancy clothes and that’ll change.”

“I’m not going to be one of those students who shows up to their lectures in tracksuits. I’m here to learn. Seriously. And get drunk. Seriously. And also, I made breakfast, so get the fuck downstairs before it all goes cold and you better appreciate it. I haven’t used more than a microwave in about three months and I almost set fire to the house.”

Newt laughs, hurrying downstairs and sorting his hair as he goes; and as he does, he checks the clock in the living room, the one that has the date.

He’s scared to look, but he has to. Today already feels new.

Friday, February 15th.  

It always rains when Credence wakes up. He always wakes up early, has to make breakfast for himself and a good deal of the area’s children, and the thing that seems to characterise five in the morning is that there’s always a drizzle outside. He sighs, smoothing his hair down and quickly dressing: it isn’t as if he has much variety in outfits, only having a few pieces from thrift shops.

That loop went so well. It disappoints him that it’s over, and that Newt is probably going to go back to never giving him flowers again. It’s just going to be February 14, and Newt will either be there or he won’t, and nothing will change.

He wedges open his window, ignoring the rain.

“Here we go again,” he murmurs to himself, and, as he passes by it, checks his calendar out of habit. At the end of each day, he crosses the day off: it keeps him on top of things, lets him know what he has coming up, reduces his focus on the past. And he’s been doing it every day, every February 14th, just in case he ever makes it to the next day.

His breath hitches.

There’s a cross in the February 14 box.

[theliterateape]

A Troubling Hare

by Paul Teodo

I have a lot of problems. Let me restate that. A lot of problems have me. Having a problem is an illusion. It implies I have control over that problem. I don’t. The problem has control over me. When the problem has me it makes sense to get some help, indicating that this problem must receive more help than I alone can muster up. If a medical problem has me I go to a guy who went to school and has a license to cut me open without getting into too much trouble. If a mental problem has me I go see a shrink, or at least a good friend with a ton of patience for my whining or who can look stuff up on the internet and help me feel better. If my car starts jacking me around I go to a mechanic and spend a lotta dough, especially if I have an Italian or German model.

Let me tell you about a few problems that have me. 

BPH. Benign Prostate Hyperplasia. It’s got me big time. Some days I piss 20 times. I know, I’m closing in on seventy and it’s normal for stuff to be going on down there. But damn, it’s a nuisance.

What is BPH? It’s got to do with a guy’s prostate gland. The prostate gland plays a major role in male reproduction and ejaculation. A normal prostate is about the size of a walnut, mine’s about the size of a fucking cantaloupe. 

An enlarged prostate blocks the flow of pee from the bladder to the urethra and when that happens a man becomes obsessed with locating places to piss because he always has to piss. And the problem with pissing a lot is you begin to lose your inhibition about to where to go. Bushes, trees, dark alleys, well lit alleys, Starbucks, libraries, building lobbies, bottles strategically stashed in automobiles, lamp posts, anyplace a dog lets loose, all are fair game. 

So what do you do if this problem has you? Talk to the guy who went to school and do what he says. And he’ll say No COFFEE, and a few other things. I love coffee. But since I quit I’m down to pissing about 10 times a day, and only once or twice at night.

Well done, Doc.

I got more. 

Technofuckingphobia Yes, that’s a real word, except for the F-part, and more importantly it’s a very serious condition, especially in the 21st century, and it’s got me bad, real bad. Ask me to copy and paste, download an app, stream, or how much RAM I have, and my bowels turn to foam, my knees wobble, and my teeth chatter like a naked man perched upon an iceberg. 

And having a cell phone has made it worse. I’ve become dependent on the damn thing; emails, texts, photos, weather, music, directions, how many steps I take going from one stupid place to the next, all have become obsessions. I read a study a few months ago that said the average American, while awake, checks his cell phone every 72 seconds (less frequently when not awake). So most of you have already checked your phone since starting this little piece, or worse yet, are reading it on the damn thing now.

C’mon! 

Was I leading a miserable existence before I spent nearly a grand on a hand held computer that scares the shit outa me? I think not. And my techie friends tell me it needs to be encapsulated in a protective cover,(the difficulty of installation akin to stuffing an offensive lineman into a gymnast’s leotard), in case I drop it, or more likely throw it against a fucking wall when I can’t figure out how to use it, with a special ring tone for special people, which I have no idea how to set, with alerts for everything I’m supposed to do that I would prefer not to. And now I receive texts from people standing right next to me, which for the life of me, despite my protestations, I can’t ignore. 

And to highlight my total lack of control, if I misplace this electronic demon, I panic like a junkie jonesing for his next fix.

And then there’s the Tinnitus. Remember I’m almost seventy. What? 70…Tinnitus. What? Catch my drift?

I am condemned to a constant ringing in my right ear that varies in decibels depending on where I’m at and who I’m with. Put me in a reverberating room with a few people talking all at once (meaning anyone who has a speck of DNA that identifies them as having a trace of Italian or Jewish ancestry dog-paddling around in their cells) and I feel like I’m struggling to awaken from the depths of a coma. I’m foggy, befuddled, helpless, and morose. I lean forward with a twisted look of confusion splattered across my face feeling like I’m in a therapy group facilitated by Nurse Ratchett with Jack Nicholson at my side.

A few years ago I read that bananas helped tinnitus, so I began to consume 4, 5, 6 a day. The only change was the massive wads of hair that began to sprout from my back and the uncontrollable desire to scamper up a tree and swing from its branches.

OK I overplayed it with the tree.

And now, pray tell, I have been stricken with Leporiphobia. This malady is exhibited by a deathly and uncontrollable fear of rabbits. I shudder and become dizzy when I think of or encounter the tiniest of bunnies or a full grown big eared Jack. This condition is a rarity in the medical journals.

However, a point of note; in a 2012 survey the Journal of American Psychology polled 100 professional athletes concerning their fears or phobias. Hands down Andy Roddick, player on the men’s Pro Tennis Tour and winner of over 30M$ took the grand prize for weirdness. Leporiphobia has him! He admitshe is terrified of rabbits. All he has to do is think of one and he panics. Seeing just a tiny bunny brings him to his knees. He’s actually withdrawn from matches where he was heading for the winner’s circle and then regressed into “rabittual” thinking (OK I made that word up but it’s a great fucking word.)

Allow me to digress. 

I met Lydia in a coffee shop; my kind of coffee shop. No internet. People were talking. I was not sure if they were Jewish or Italian. I couldn’t hear. She leaned closer. I still couldn’t hear. We stepped outside. A truck rumbled by. I couldn’t hear. Finally, she stood on her toes, cupped her hands, and hollered.

“I’m Lydia.” I could hear…fairly well. We talked about the theatre and I asked her to a play. We went. We sat in the front. I could hear. It was great.

We went to dinner, a very quiet place. I gazed across the table into her gray-blue eyes. That was greater.

Afterwards she came to my place. It was very quiet. That was the greatest!

After a few of those datey kinds of experiences we wanted to do normal stuff; stuff we were interested in day to day._

She asked, “What do you like to do that is somewhat normal?”

“Bike,” I responded, enjoying her directness.

“I don’t own a bike.” she replied.

“I’ll buy you one,” I said thinking I was gallant.

She said, pursing her lips, her hands perched on very shapely hips, “I can buy my own.”

She did. I liked that.

“Do you want to go for a ride?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, “But it’s so hot.”

“We won’t go far,” I said once again, trying to be gallant.

“We’ll go as far as I want,” she said.

“OK,” I said knowing that attempting to be gallant was no longer a good idea.

So I put air in my tires and waited to see if she wanted any.

“Could you put some in mine?”

“I’d love to,” I said.

“Thank you.”

Off we went down a dusty path of crunchy gray limestone; thick bushes bordering each side of the trail.

We came to a clearing in a small town. The bank sign read 97 degrees-1pm. The sun broiled my back, sweat puddled in my navel, and my hands slid from the rubber grips of my silver Trek.

“It’s so hot.” Her voice rose over the noisy limestone. “Are you hot?”

“What?” I couldn’t hear her.

“Hot!” she screamed.

I was near death, my head ready to explode. “I’m fine,” yelling over my shoulder.

“Wait!” I heard her voice. It must have been very loud.

I jammed the brakes, my bike twisting sideways.

We skidded to a dusty stop. She was huffing and puffing.

“Are you OK?” Salty sweat stung my eyes.

“This is your idea of fun? How can you stand it? This is normal?”

“What?” This time I pretended I couldn’t hear.

“Hot!”She wiped her brow with the back of her hand. 

“I try to stay cool: water, and stuff.”

“What stuff?” Her indignant voice rose.

I had to pee.

“Sometimes I take off my shirt.”

“Go ahead. But I can’t take off mine.”

I had to pee more.

“Go ahead,” she repeated.

I removed my shirt.

“Let’s go,” she said. “It’s too hot to stand here and talk.”

We started once again, crunching along the shimmering trail.

And that’s when it happened.

Two dark blurs darted from the brush directly in front of my bike; the one in front larger than the one who trailed. The larger one turned and glared with his devil-red eyes, into mine. And without any notice, he leapt off the ground, a full four feet, and went for my throat. My legs froze. I gasped and choked on my own spit. He was on me screeching a high pitched hideous rodent like noise; fangs gnawing at my flesh, his bristly fur scraping my chin. I yanked my right hand away from the brake and threw him off, his pin-like nails scratching my sun burnt skin. His body thumped to the ground. I jammed on my brakes. My wheel turned cock-eyed and my torso flew over the handlebars. 

I landed next to him; so close I could see his whiskers and his pinkish nose twitching with a sense of evil. 

He wriggled his nose again, paused, and scampered into the brush.

“It was a rabbit!”I think Lydia screamed. While I was aware of that, tinnitus is accentuated in a panic situation, and I needed to pee even more.

“I can’t believe it!”

I could. I lay on the limestone gazing up at her.

“Why did you bring me here?”

“You wanted normal.”

She stepped off her new bike, whose tires I had just put air into, trying not to be gallant.

“Are you OK?” she asked.

I wasn’t. I could be extra gallant and say fine. “I’m…” I paused, “hurt. Severely.”Trying to gain some sympathy.

“Oh my God,” she said.

Shards of gravel were imbedded in my tender skin. Bloody chunks of flesh dangled from elbows and knees. My left shoulder was locked tight, conspicuously off-kilter to its twin; pounding with a sledgehammer heartbeat.

“What can I do?” she asked tears welling in her eyes.

I lay there, my fears, problems, and pain running away with me.

My cell phone was shattered. How would I text myself a reminder to buy a new one?

I needed to pee.

But there was Lydia standing over me, offering to help. We met in a coffee shop, my kinda shop. No internet.

My ear ringing like the 3 o’clock dismissal school bell at St. Frances.

“How can I help?” she repeated. 

I thought I saw the rabbit peek out from the brush. Leporiphobia had stricken me. 

“Kill the fucking rabbit.”

She smiled a deep warm smile. She made me feel better.

She touched my cheek. “I will.”

I believed her.

[premiere-gaou]

Healing Hands (Part 2)

Ivar x Reader Healing Hands: Part 2 of 2. 8,341 words. Here’s Part 1 for anyone that missed it. Warnings: A little angst, a lotta smut. I wouldn’t read this at work ;) Wow guys, I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to finish this update! I really didn’t mean to keep you all waiting for so long but life kicked my ass a little bit this month. Thank you all so much for your support and all of your kind words, I honestly never expected such amazing feedback. I was so nervous writing for a new fandom but you all have just been so encouraging and so kind. I really hope that each and every one of you enjoys Part 2 and that it lives up to your expectations! Thank you again, everyone! Tags: @skeletoresinthebasement @peculiarleah @ivartheboneme @theburningspirit  @splendor-e I’m sorry if I missed anyone!

The days that followed Ivar's cruel rejection were some of the bitterest you'd ever known. You weren't sure just what to expect from all those hours at the prince's side but outright exclusion wasn't something that had even crossed your mind. Everything seemed to be going so well. You and Ivar constantly lost track of time as you engaged in passionate conversations, talking about everything and nothing and whatever was left in-between. You knew Ivar well know, perhaps well enough to call him a friend and you had secretly hoped that he shared these feelings. You had even started to wonder if Ivar was more than just a friend. Even before that final blissful evening, the chemistry between you both was undeniable. In all of your years of working with patients in all sorts of intimate situations, not one had responded to your touch like Ivar had. Not even the most flirtatious warrior would gasp and whimper in a way that only a lover would yet Ivar practically melted in your hands. Then, there were the looks. He may have been a man of few words when it came to discussing anything emotional but disappointment was always noticeable in Ivar's bright eyes whenever you bid him goodnight. Then every morning, that disappointment vanished again when you arrived and exchanged private, flirty stares that were completely missed by Ubbe. There was no way of really telling where the shy smiles and tantalizing glances were heading but you were certain that they were heading somewhere. That was why Ivar's rejection hurt even more. You tried to be rational by reminding yourself that you weren't Ivar's lover and he had no obligation to explain anything to you but rationality didn't keep you warm on those cold, lonely nights. 

Time was supposed to make it easier. At least that was what you told yourself. Time was meant to erase all pleasant memories of the vulnerable Ivar and it was supposed to replace them with thoughts of the cold, cruel prince instead. You tried so hard to convince yourself that he really was the hated monster that people describe and that getting as far away from him as possible was something to celebrate, not cry over. Of course, that was impossible. You could have spent every minute of every waking hour cursing Ivar but that didn't change the fact that your heart longed for Ragnar’s youngest son. Even after a month, the pain of his rejection was just as raw as it had been on the first day. You missed Ivar much more than you could ever admit. Every night, you lay in bed tossing and turning while remembering his laugh or the way his quiet, intelligent eyes observed your every movement when he didn't think that he'd be caught staring. You pined for the warmth of his smooth, sun-kissed skin beneath your fingertips and you longed to snuggle up to his hard body again as he slept. The yearning became so unbearable that you wouldn't have wished it on your worst enemies. Many nights and days went by without incident and the memories of Ivar had started to feel like fantasies. From what the other healer had heard, Ivar was steadily recovering and now he and the other Ragnarssons were planning their next adventures. Apparently Ivar was back to his usual self, crawling around and picking fights whenever something didn't go his way. You hadn't yet seen him and you could only thank the Gods for that. It was one thing to walk by his home and not glance at the familiar entry way without feeling overwhelmed. It would have been a whole different ordeal to pass him in the street and look him in the eye while pretending that he hadn't broken your heart. The one thing that stayed the same was work. In Kattegat, there was hardly ever a shortage of battered warriors and shieldmaidens to tend to so you busied yourself by spending every free minute tending to the injured or the sick. When the need for a healer was low however, you took to the woods and gathered plants and herbs, often staying there from dusk until dawn or until you were too exhausted to carry on. That was the only way to make the painful memories of Ivar Lothbrok fade into the background for a little while. On this particular day, you had been foraging in the woods since daybreak. You worked nonstop from the moment the first ray of sunlight had hit the ground so it was no surprise that fatigue suddenly took over. It was still a little early but your slow movements were hardly productive so begrudgingly, you gathered your things and headed back to the village for a well deserved evening of rest. The sun had just started to set by the time you'd reached your pit house but already the excitement on the streets was just starting to grow. The first of a handful of raiding parties would leave soon so the next few days were going to be thrust into a period of celebration in support of the leaving adventurers. Apparently Ivar wasn't scheduled for this raid but your brows nevertheless knotted with worry as you lit a small fire and sat down in front of it with a generous cup of mead. He was an impulsive man so if he felt ready to go, then nobody could have stopped him. Even health concerns weren't going to keep him down. A heavy sigh left your lips and you shook your shoulders slightly in an attempt to dislodge all thoughts of Ivar Lothbrok. It wasn't your place to worry about him now, he had made that abundantly clear. The sun hadn't even been down for an hour yet when the noise from the outdoor festivities started to breech the walls of your small home. Usually, you would have been out there in the middle of it all, draining mead by the cup and praying to the Gods for the traveler's safe returns. Today, the thought of it all made you physically sick. Celebrations at the Great Hall were usually a delight but the idea of trying to dodge Ivar while dozens of drunk, sweating bodies bumped into you throughout the night was suffocating. Tonight, showing your face wasn't even an option. Instead, you had decided to change into a long, white night dress and relax. You had just started sipping on your second cup of mead when the vibrations from a loud knock from at front door rattled your whole house. You ignored the knock at first. It was likely a friend, drunk and wondering why you weren't at the Great Hall. Staying as quiet as a mouse, you didn't even bring the wooden cup to your lips in fear of being overheard. There was no way that anyone could hear the anything from inside of the hut with the commotion going on outside yet despite that, the knocks continued. Whoever this was, they had absolutely no intention of going away. Cursing loudly, you bounced onto your heels and crossed the distance between the fire and the front door with quick, angry steps. You were ready to tell the unwanted visitor to get lost and not come back but the vision on the other side of the threshold instantly stunned you into silence as you opened the door. Ivar Lothbrok stood outside. Tall, beautiful and broad, Ivar's twilight blue eyes immediately found yours as you gazed up at him without blinking. This was the first time that you'd seen him standing tall and gazing down at you. Ivar's injuries had made him temporarily bed-ridden during your visits. He had either been sitting up or lying down and when you lay beside him, you were always somewhat elevated. You recognized his superior height from tending to his body but never seeing him upright meant that you hadn’t paid much attention to his full frame. Now he stood completely straight and that made you feel like a little kitten in front of a wildcat. He must have been at least a head taller but with his boots and your bare feet, that height difference seemed even greater. The screeching of one of Ivar's metal crutches forced you to snap out of your trance. Not only had you been staring but you were stood there facing the cool night air in a thin dressing gown that could have easily exposed your modesty with a simple gust of wind. "Ahem." You forced your eyebrows to knot together while crossing your arms over your chest defensively. Ivar said nothing as he balanced on his crutches. "What are you doing here?" Only the dim light of a few candles illuminated your home but Ivar's extraordinary eyes seemed to still stand out in the near-blackness. "I came to talk," he said softly, his voice so sweet that it made the mead on your tongue taste bitter. The crutches were giving him a new confidence and you cursed yourself for blushing under his intense gaze. "Can I come in? I haven't walked for long on these things before. My legs hurt." Your eyes narrowed at Ivar's attempt at a joke. Having him turn up out of the blue without an apology was beyond irritating. More so now that he was trying to use his legs as a reason for you to not turn him away since as a healer, it was your job to extend a helping hand to anyone in pain. Damn Ivar. It only took one brief glance over his straining form to see that the long journey between your house and Ivar's had been dreadful on the uncomfortable crutches. Making him go back would have been outright cruel and you just couldn't slam the door in his face, no matter how much you wanted to. With a sigh, you gave up and stood back while stretching an arm out in invitation. Ivar smiled to himself. This was what he had hoped for. You watched Ivar as he awkwardly maneuvered the crutches in the small space of your home. It was tiny compared to his own residence so any practicing he'd done at home seemed worthless here. Knowing Ivar though, you knew better than to tell him to throw the crutches aside and crawl like he usually did. He had made a point of walking here for a reason. Telling him to crawl would embarrass him and while you were certainly still angry, you needed to know why Ivar had turned up out of the blue like this. You still had so many questions that only he could answer. Ivar's tentative smile wavered slightly as he looked around the room. He'd never had any reason to invade your privacy before so now, he took everything in carefully even if there wasn't all that much to see. "You can sit by the fire," you gestured finally when he didn't speak first. He nodded in response and finally threw his uncomfortable crutches to the floor in favour of crawling. The fire wasn't all that far from the entrance, which wasn't that far from your bed. You had lived alone since your mother died so there was no need for privacy curtains or extra bedding. Ivar seemed a little more content now that he was settling onto the furs on the ground but his ease didn't comfort you at all. You remained standing with your arms still shielding your chest. You had only stood in the threshold for a brief moment but that moment was enough for the cold air to kiss your skin. Your body had reacted and you were very well aware of how your hard nipples tested the fabric of your night dress now. Maybe Ivar had missed it then but there way that he'd miss such provocation in a small space without outside distraction. With Ivar sitting down gazing at the fire and you standing alert, the tension became unbearable. Fine hairs stood on the back of your neck but you kept deathly still even when Ivar finally looked up at you. There was an anxiety in his eyes that you were certain he would have tried to hide from most others in this situation but he still kept his gaze locked on yours. His lips parted and for a moment, you lost yourself in your thoughts again as you watched Ivar drag his tongue over the glistening skin of his lower lip. Your cheeks burned almost as hot as the fire when you realized that Ivar had caught you staring. Thankfully, he didn't address the issue and instead chose to bring up the festivities. "You're not going to the Great Hall to celebrate...?" You shook your head 'no' in response to his question. Once again you frowned. You were certain that he hadn't come here to discuss the celebrations yet he seemed to be dodging the real reason for his visit. With a blush still in your cheeks, you didn't want to look at Ivar directly but you could sense his discomfort nonetheless. His dark brows knotted together as he opened and closed his mouth again and again, seemingly lost for words. As angry as you'd been with Ivar, you didn't like seeing him so uncomfortable. With a sigh, you tilted your head and gazed at the fire as you finally spoke. "Why are you here, Ivar?" Since he didn't seem to have an answer, Ivar could only respond with an awkward laugh. Once again silence hung heavy in the air as your lips puckered into a pout. As it was Ivar’s turn to speak, you stayed silent while watching him drag his fingertips across the furs to the full cup of mead you'd abandoned earlier. "May I have this?" "Fine," you mumbled with feigned indifference. Nodding, Ivar took the glass and brought it to his lips. He held it there for a moment, apparently savoring the sweet taste. He didn't move and you were about to ask him what he was doing when he finished the thing in one go and slammed the cup on the floor. Now, he turned to you, his eyes just as wild and just as beautiful as a mountain river. "I came to apologize. That's why I'm here. So.. I guess I am sorry. For upsetting you." Only the sound of crackling fire filled the room now as you looked at Ivar in surprise. He avoided your gaze but you could tell from the way his eyes shifted that he wasn't comfortable admitting his wrongdoings. Ivar was as stubborn as a mule and his inflexibility had earned him quite a reputation so going out of his way to say sorry was definitely out of character for the young prince. You wanted to stay angry with him and make him understand the consequences of his actions but Ivar just looked too flustered. His cheeks burned red like those of a petulant child. It had taken so much for him to say such a simple thing yet he acted as if he'd just completed the hardest task in the world. In a way, Ivar's massive overreaction made the whole situation seem a little ridiculous yet you weren't ready to back down just yet. "This must feel very strange for you, Ivar, son of Ragnar." Sarcasm laced your voice as Ivar looked back to you with those bright eyes. The crease in his brow deepened half out of confusion and half out of irritation. He didn't seem to appreciate provocation in response to an apology that had obviously been a difficult one for him to make. You couldn't help but snort at his child-like pout. "I was just thinking that I've never heard you apologize to anyone before. Does your tongue burn when you speak? Is that why you had to drink the mead?" A teasing smile stretched your lips as you dropped your arms by your sides and took a few steps towards Ivar. He was still irritated and now that you were closer, you could see that his blush had spread from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. He glared up at you as stubbornly as ever while you bit the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from laughing. This apology was perhaps Ivar's most selfless ever gesture. "Are you going to accept my apology or not? And would you just sit? Standing up, walking around, annoying me. Just sit, woman!" A few moons ago, the sight of Ivar's scowl would have panicked you but you no longer felt intimidated or afraid by his sullen gaze or harsh tone. He was embarrassed, not angry. His healthy pink blush betrayed him. Your eyes sparkled with mischief as you lowered yourself to Ivar's side without losing your smile. You sat so close to the price that you could feel the warmth from his strong body against your own chilled skin. Ivar was still fabricating an angry stare but you could make out hope in his eyes. How he looked at you now was exactly the same as how he looked at you when he asked you to run your hands through his hair while he tried to sleep. You couldn't tease him anymore. "Of course I accept your apology, Ivar." Your smile faltered as you addressed Ivar seriously. You suddenly became too nervous to meet his gaze head-on so you watched him from under your lashes instead. His recovery was going brilliantly. Everything about him screamed 'strength' and you became convinced that his shoulders looked even broader than before. Now, you definitely had to look away. There were still many things that needed to be said and losing yourself to this beautiful distraction wasn't an option. "But it did hurt." Now your smile faded completely as your gaze fell to your lap. Ivar remained silent but you could feel his intense eyes watching you. You couldn't guess Ivar's expression without turning to him but the mood in the small hut had changed dramatically. "I don't know what was going through your mind but I can tell you what went through mine. You and I... I thought there we'd become friends. More than friends, even." Your shoulders wilted slightly as you paused. You hadn't ever spoken to a man with such honesty. Past romances had fallen into place naturally and you'd come into a habit of showing your needs with actions instead of words. It was different with Ivar, though. You wanted him to know what was in both your head and heart even if these confessions did leave you tongue-tied. "I do forgive you, Ivar but you hurt my heart when you turned me away." The sound of distant celebrations didn't aid the tension in the room as you had hoped. Ivar remained silent and unmoving while you bit down on your lower lip, chewing the tender flesh while struggling to find appropriate words. In the end, it was Ivar that broke the silence. He whispered your name and you turned to find him staring at you with his sapphire coloured eyes. "All I can do is be honest with you and truthfully, I don't know what went through my head either." You laced your fingers together on your lap while listening carefully. A strange mix of tenderness, vulnerability and resignation swept over his voice. He struggled to find his words but remained dedicated to explaining his actions. "This... this has never happened to me before. No woman in Kattegat or across the seas has ever shown interest in me before. Never. Not even once." Ivar spoke so softly that you had to wonder how the distant songs and cheers didn't drown him out. You had thought you'd seen this incredibly powerful man vulnerable before but you'd been wrong. This was it. This was the most exposed that Ivar had ever been. "I lost myself in my mind when you left that night. I convinced myself that you did what you did because I asked you. I know that you used to dislike me, maybe you even feared me and I couldn't stop myself from thinking those things again. I thought you only feigned interest because you were afraid of Ivar the Boneless. That's the only reason why most people do anything for me. I fooled myself into thinking that you thought the same." An embarrassed half-smile tugged at Ivar's full lips as he tilted his head and looked to the furs he sat on. For the briefest of moments, you pitied Ivar. He was so powerful, so cunning and yet his handicap had completely impaired his judgement of himself. It seemed his loneliness had been so overwhelming that he had prepared a life alone without even a friend by his side, let alone a lover. You could only imagine how miserable Ivar had made himself when he got lost in his thoughts. You were virtually on the verge of begging Ivar to take you before Ubbe had interrupted you on that night and yet somehow he had convinced himself that you had been afraid. You couldn't allow Ivar to live with such self-loathing. You blinked nervously at Ivar as you reached out to him with a trembling hand. He looked up when your fingertips landed on his upper arm, his eyes anxious and wide. "Don't ever think such things of yourself, Ivar, never. It's true that I used to be afraid of you but we were children. I didn't know you. But I do know you now... And Gods, Ivar. That night, I needed you." In an instant, Ivar's expression transformed from hopelessness. He blushed but didn’t look away when your fingertips traveled slowly across his jaw. He tensed but didn't flinch nor pull back, not even when your thumb brushed the full length of his parted lips. "You are the most fascinating man I've ever met, Ivar Ragnarsson. You are stronger and smarter than anyone I've known. You are capable of anything and all these women of Kattegat and the women across the sea are foolish for not seeing how capable you are. And I was foolish too, but I see it now, Ivar. I see what a man you are and there is nobody like you out there. And I want you. All of you." You moved both of your hands to Ivar's face and gently ran your thumbs over the curves of his jaw. He looked at you with sapphire eyes that seemed to grow wilder by the second, transforming from blue skies into thrashing waves that sucked you directly into the storm. With just one look, he pulled you in. There was no hope of ever getting away. You wanted to kiss him first but it was Ivar that craned his neck and closed the distance between your lips. You felt his breath mixing with yours as he gasped against your ready mouth with anticipation. His lips stretched into a smile while still pressed against your own and you whimpered gently when his whispers tickled your skin. "...thank you." "For what?" Your practically moaned. Your hands were in his hair now, massaging him, encouraging him. "...for being you." Ivar's husky voice seemed to tremble from the tension between you. All of the animosity was gone. You knew from the moment that you saw Ivar on your doorstep that you would end up forgiving him. Your eyelashes fluttered against Ivar's cheeks as you closed your eyes and pushed your lips together. Any other words that Ivar had wanted to say were lost against your mouth, stuck on the tip of his tongue. He didn't complain. The kiss was so tender at first that neither you nor Ivar moved. Instead you gasped against each other while the tip of Ivar's nose gently nudged your own. You had often wondered if Ragnar's youngest son had the softest lips that you had ever seen but now, you knew for certain that they were. It felt like silk was being brushed against your skin when Ivar boldly pulled your bottom lip between his full mouth. He didn't suck nor lick, choosing instead to just hold your lip between his for a moment as if he was memorizing your taste. You couldn't blame hi, because you did the exact same thing when Ivar parted his lips and slipped his tongue into your mouth. His tongue still tasted like honey. The desire to admire Ivar's dark eyebrows and contrasting eyes was overwhelming but your lashes seemed glued together. All you could manage were little whimpers while his cautious tongue explored yours, slipping away only when Ivar wanted to kiss your lips with his own again. He'd pulled you into him now. His strong hands dug into your hips while your own fingertips ran through his hair. You were certain that Ivar could hear the sound of your heart fighting against your chest but he said nothing in this strange moment of silence. It was like being trapped in the eye of a storm or a moment of stillness between lightning and thunder on a rainy night. You had never been kissed like this before. When Ivar pulled away, it was only because he was completely breathless. He smiled against your lips once more before crushing his mouth against yours again with a deeper need. Your first kiss had been like a whisper in the night but this was the storm. You welcomed Ivar's passion. Gentleness was not something that you wanted after such a long time so when he groaned against your lips, you pulled him closer and kissed him harder. He responded by circling his arms around your waist - trapping you - and pushing you onto the furs below. The weight of Ivar's body on top of yours reminded you of his pure strength. He shuffled a little as you spread your legs to accommodate him but you made sure to keep your lips on his to stop him from growing distracted. It worked and soon enough, his hungry mouth started to trail from your lips all the way down your neck and back up again. Ivar didn't take his eyes off you once. Those intelligent eyes watched every reaction, taking careful notice of what you liked the most. You could only wonder how much desire the prince had been forced to hold back due to insecurities but he was ready to release all of it now. Ivar's hard body trapped you to the floor and you whimpered beneath him in delight. You felt all of him press against you as your fingers traced his tense muscles again and again. Ivar caressed your neck again with his tongue but this time, his teeth nipped and stretched the delicate skin. You body arched naturally beneath his and he pushed his hips into you to show you his need. Your hands went everywhere as you buried your nose in Ivar's hair, inhaling the smell of soap and spring and something that is just distinctively him. It didn't matter that Ivar's mouth and hands danced everywhere already, you still wanted him to be closer. A needy moan had left your lips when Ivar suddenly propped himself up with one strong arm and looked into your eyes. You pouted at the loss of his wet mouth even though his free hand continued to stroke the leg that you had curled around his waist. "What is it?" you whimpered and pulled on his shirt desperately. The hunger in his eyes and the pressure of his length between your legs made it clear that he didn't want to stop. He licked his lips between deep breaths while apparently thinking and after a tense moment, the fingers on your thigh suddenly moved to grasp at the hem of your night dress. "Can I take this off?" You smiled. His body wanted yours but there was still a hint of self-doubt in his bright eyes. You answered him by gathering the edge of your night dress in your hands and slithering on the furs until you'd managed to successfully shed the fabric. Ivar's starving eyes instantly roamed over your nakedness and his cock gave an appreciative response against your thigh. "Take your clothes off as well." The prince didn't seem to think twice about shedding his shirt and it soon joined your night gown on the floor. When it came to his breeches, Ivar seemed to hesitate. He'd always hidden the misshapen lower half of his legs when you tended to him and it was clear that he wasn't completely comfortable exposing them now either. "Just pull them down to your thighs," you whispered and reached forward to give Ivar's bulging length an encouraging squeeze. He grunted in response but complied. Belts were soon tossed aside and Ivar had managed to push the fabric of his breeches down to his knees where they would no longer stop you from getting your hands on his cock. Even in the faint candle glow, you could make out the way that Ivar's erection quivered as he crushed his mouth against yours once more. His kiss was deep and wet. Ivar had gained confidence quickly when it came to kissing you and now he kissed you without hiding his urges. At the same time, he slammed his hips into yours, making you moan in delight as his hard length caressed your wanting sex. Wanting to feel him, you snaked a hand between your bodies but Ivar caught your wrist just before you could wrap your fingers around his beautiful cock. Pouting once again, you whimpered his name in protest but Ivar quickly silenced you with another honey infused kiss. "You've pleasured me. Now it's my turn to pleasure you." The promise of bliss stopped your wriggling instantly. You gazed at Ivar with wide, fascinated eyes as the burning between your legs grew even hotter. Ivar seemed to sense this because he pushed his hips against yours once more and pinned you to the floor as he teased your tongue out of your mouth. The folds of your womanhood parted around Ivar's cock like a welcoming flower but he held you down so hard that you couldn't grind against him no matter how hard you tried. "I'm pleasuring YOU," Ivar repeated again and nipped at your lower lip before he started his descent down your body. Ivar was eager to please. His avid mouth showed no signs of depriving you of kisses as he continued to lick and suck on every inch of exposed flesh. Your whole body was already squirming with need when Ivar reached your breasts. He stopped to admire them just for a second but to you, that second felt like an eternity. "Ivar," you whimpered his name as you arched your body. He took the hint and took one of your nipples in-between his silk lips while one of his strong hands cupped your other breast. The contrast between Ivar touch and his kiss made you wild. His mouth was gentle, his velvet tongue sliding over your nipples with an incredible tenderness as he sucked lovingly on the nubs. His hands on the other hand were rougher. They cupped, they kneaded and squeezed and Ivar made a point of alternating between each breast in order to make sure that your whole body received equal pleasure. You felt like you were on the edge of insanity. Ivar's touch had you under complete control and you could only moan and whisper his name as he continued to tease. Finally, it seemed like you couldn't take it any longer and Ivar took this opportunity to look up at you with a satisfied grin. For the first time since your kiss, Ivar's brilliant blue eyes were filled with a quiet confidence so he insisted on keeping your gaze while kissing his way down your abdomen. Then he started spreading your legs. Right now you were completely exposed to Ivar. Your heart was pounding hard as you moved until the back of your head hit the furs on the floor. You could feel Ivar's eyes exploring you as his fingers brushed along your thighs, running from your knee to your sex and back again. The smallest of touches caused the hairs on the back of your neck to stand and for goosebumps to cover your skin. You whispered Ivar's name to yourself but he somehow heard it and responded by running a gentle finger down your slit. Many delicious kisses had left you wet but Ivar still hummed to himself in approval as his fingertip moved to your clit. Naturally, your body responded and you moaned while squirming beneath Ivar's touch but he didn't move away. His finger continued exploring you, moving up to occasionally brush and circle your clit. You didn't know how you could possibly last much longer without actually begging Ivar for more of his touch. He seemed to notice and enjoy this. Finally, Ivar took his teasing fingers away from your glistening sex and wriggled into a comfortable position. His strong arms moved under you and he pulled your body towards him with one easy lift. Then without warning, Ivar's hot mouth engulfed you. You gasped in surprise as Ivar started to mimic the actions of his fingertips with his tongue, dragging it up and down and occasionally skimming your sensitive clit. It didn't take long for you to feel like you are losing your mind. You started thrusting your hips up, silently begging for more of that tongue and thankfully, Ivar happily complied. He turned his full attention to your most sensitive spot as he took it between his lips and gently dragged his tongue over the little nub in slow, torturing circles. Your hips moved in time with Ivar's tongue as you greedily sought out as much pleasure as possible. Ivar held your body tight, squeezing and caressing your behind as his tongue went from slowly circling your clit to teasing it with quick, expert flicks. By this point, you were certain that half of Kattegat could hear your moans but you didn't care. You weaved your fingers deeper into Ivar's hair as the flicks of his tongue grew rapider and he actually started to moan against your sex. The last thing that you had expected was to feel the vibrations from Ivar's deep moans on you but they caressed you down to your very core. This double assault made it impossible to fight your climax any longer so you pushed your hips hard against Ivar's mouth while your whole body startled to tremble.  Finally, you felt the pressure that had been building up in your core explode. Waves of pleasure ran from your heat to your fingers and even your toes as you trembled against Ivar’s eager tongue. Never in your life had you had an orgasm so powerful. You actually felt yourself grow faint as you finished riding Ivar's hot mouth, your pleasure only heightened by the realization that the prince between your legs met every one of your moans with his own. Finally, you had to push him back slightly because your hot body felt too sensitive to touch.

It took a moment for Ivar to come back up but when he did, the lust that clouded his eyes was equal to that of a wild animal. He kissed you hard, sucking your tongue into his mouth so you could taste yourself. You blushed but Ivar didn't release your mouth as he positioned himself between your legs and effortlessly rubbed the swollen head of his cock along your wet folds. "I'm going to take you now," he breathed out while teasing your entrance with his tip. You nodded. You were ready. The composure that Ivar had managed to maintain up until this point was gone. With what sounded almost like a growl, Ivar rolled his hips forward and impaled you with one long, hard thrust. Your body had been ready for Ivar thanks to that incredible orgasm but the initial shock of all of Ivar's hard length inside you was temporarily paralyzing. You moaned even louder than he did as your fingertips dug into his strong back. You didn't doubt that he would find little red crescent marks there once he finished. When the initial shock had worn off, Ivar began to move. He started with shaky, uncertain thrusts as he barely moved inside of you. For a moment you wondered if the first push had been too much and if he was going to lose control right here and right now but like before, Ivar carried on. Grunts and hisses turned into gasps and moans as Ivar started kissing your neck again while finding his rhythm. He moved his hips all the way back now, stopping only when his very tip remained inside you. Then he inched back until his hipbones were once again glued to yours. After a few minutes, Ivar's inexperience didn't matter at all. He filled you over and over again, his deep thrusts forcing moans out of you every time. There was an urgency in his momentum and every thrust seemed more powerful than the last. With every thrust, you moved your hips up up to meet Ivar's so he could go even deeper. His thick pubic hair tickled and teased your already sensitive clit to the point where you could no longer ignore the pleasant sensation. Your fingers tangled in Ivar’s slick hair and you pulled him so your mouths were crushed together again. You wanted him to taste your moans as you came. The onset of your second orgasm only encouraged Ivar further and his movement took a vigorous turn. Now, his muscular chest crushed your smaller frame against the furs beneath you as he gasped against your lips. The room started to spin again as that powerful wave of euphoria returned with a vengeance, threatening to consume you whole. Ivar's mouth never left yours. He stole your moans as his cock continued to slam into you while your body convulsed beneath him. Finally, it was Ivar's turn. You were still drunk on your own pleasure when the man on top of you started to tremble suddenly as his thrusts grew more violent and erratic. With an animal groan, Ivar pushed his head back and thrust into you one more time. His whole body shook but you had recovered enough to wrap his quivering shoulders in your embrace as he pumped until he had nothing else to give. You felt him fill you, felt his hot seed mixing with your own juices as he shot for the last time. Moans turned into whimpers as Ivar finally pulled out and collapsed onto his back beside you with a deep, tortured groan. "Are you alright?" Concerned, you turned onto your side as you gazed at Ivar through clouded eyes. His strong chest was still heaving and his whole upper body was covered in a light layer of sweat but you saw him smiling hazily. He was in a state of post-orgasmic bliss. Out of nowhere, his hand reached for yours and he pulled your body on top of his so you were forehead to forehead. He kissed you suddenly. Unlike his last desperate kiss, this one was incredibly gentle. "I can honestly say that I've never been better." Even after everything, your cheeks still turned red under Ivar's intense twilight gaze but you made no move to pull away. Instead, you only laughed as you buried your nose in the crook of his neck while his fingertips tucked stray strands of hair behind your ear. "I think that might even be better than battle. I don't even know which I like more. I think it might have to be a tie. What do you think?" You bit your lip and fought back your laughter as Ivar continued to muse to himself. "Well, I don't go to war, so I think it's clear what I prefer." Beneath you, Ivar let out a happy sigh and you could feel his breathing start to normal. Once again, the only sound in the room was the crunching and crackling of the burning logs on the fire but it was no longer uncomfortable. If anything, it was the exact opposite. The warmth coming from the flames and Ivar's solid chest beneath your cheek felt like the very definition of comfort and hope. The combination soothed you so much that you fell yourself drifting off after a little while. You were more than content to fall asleep in Ivar's arms. By morning, you and Ivar had made love twice more. You had no reason to hold back now that you had a taste of each other. Ivar's self doubts slipped away with every kiss and you, too, blossomed like a flower in his arms. Somehow, you and Ivar had managed to find your way to your bed in the midst of all your lovemaking. It was there that you lay together, snuggled under the covers when the roosters started to crow and activity began picking up again outside of your door. Neither of you had even thought about attending the Great Hall celebrations and you had been far too drunk on each other to even remember when the yelling and cheering had ended but it had been quiet for a few hours now. Both of you had managed to steal a couple of winks of sleep but now, it was time to rise. "...I know you're awake." It was Ivar's raspy voice that broke the silence first. You had fallen asleep against his chest but somehow, the two of you had twisted in the night and now his mouth moved against your hair. "I can feel you moving against me." You blushed at Ivar's observation. He wasn't wrong. The first thing that you had felt when you started to regain consciousness was Ivar's strong arms holding you around your waist but the second had been his manhood. It was waking with him, twitching against your backside as you rolled your hips on it instinctively. Now though, it was morning and you had become self conscious. You groaned into the pillow, clearly embarrassed at being caught but Ivar just laughed and pulled you by your waist until your back was pressed firmly against his chest and your bottom trapped his sex between your hips and his. "I didn't say stop." Being intimate with Ivar was different in the morning light. Yesterday, the darkness had swallowed your doubts and all of your inhibitions but now, the sunlight caressed Ivar's face as you cranked your neck to look back at him. He looked even more beautiful than you had remembered and that made you somewhat nervous. You had moved to kiss him but you hesitated and stopped, choosing to look into his eyes instead. Ivar, on the other hand, had no intentions of holding back. His mouth was on yours in an instant and his tongue parted your lips in a deep kiss while he pushed up against the plump flesh of your backside under the covers. You were certain that he was going to take you there and then and you were not complaining. You were ready for him, even at this early hour. Then, a knock came on your front door and while you were both initially happy to ignore it, the voice that followed had both you and Ivar separating. "Uh, sorry to come by so early. I was just wondering if you had seen Ivar. He wasn't at the feast and nobody has heard from him or seen him since yesterday." Ubbe. A frustrated sigh left your lips as Ivar groaned beside you. It seemed like your lover's older brother had quite a talent for interrupting your private moments. "I can't ignore him," you mouthed when Ivar reached for your hand and tried to pull you back. You shook him off and slid off the bed, panicking a little as you searched for a something to cover your naked body. Again Ivar groaned. This time he rolled his eyes for emphasis and crashed back on the pillows with a 'thud.' You had expected to see a pouting face when you turned to him but the smallest hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he watched. "Fine. Answer him. It's not like I can carry on when he's standing there banging on the door anyway. Go. Go on." You eyed Ivar with suspicion. He had given up a little too easily but Ubbe kept banging lazily on your wooden door so you turned away from the beautiful man on your bed. "Give me a second, Ubbe," you called out as your eyes settled on a dress that you could easily slip over your head. That would do. You reached for it without glancing at Ivar. Once again, his older brother had put you on the spot and you were busy thinking of excuses as you pulled the dress over your head and smoothed it out. You didn't want to lie to Ubbe but you couldn't just outright admit that you had spent the night with his brother. Ivar, on the other hand, seemed to have other ideas."Looks like your in luck, brother. Come on inside. Your search has officially come to an end." You had only just pulled the dress down over your naked hips when you heard Ivar's mischievous voice pipe up from behind you. Stunned, you whipped right back around to face him as all colour drained from your face. "You want him to know like this?" you hissed as you picked up the closest thing you could find and threw it at Ivar. It was a pillow and he caught it with little trouble as he laughed and sat up, ready for Ubbe's arrival. The sound of creaking wood made was all it took for your cheeks to burn again. You were decent but Ivar certainly wasn't. He sat upright in your bed, his strong upper body naked and tense while his lower body drowned in furs. There was an unmistakable smell of sex in your home and you didn't doubt for one second that Ubbe knew what had gone on when he peeked his head through the door. His blue eyes were still clouded over from what you'd assumed to be alcohol and his lips were stretched in a wide, knowing smile. "Well, well. I certainly didn't mean to interrupt." Ubbe slithered into your small home like a snake. The celebrations had ended a few hours ago but you could tell that he was still stuck in that blissful state of alcohol-infused joy. Blue eyes looked to you, then to Ivar, then back again. He didn't even try to hide his apparent amusement as he crossed his arms over his strong chest and raised his eyebrows at your both. "Now what exactly is going on here?" he quizzed, his voice laced with mischief. "Perhaps a private healing session?" All you wanted right now was for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. You moved your hands to cover your face instinctively while Ivar chuckled on the bed. He seemed to be enjoying this unplanned revelation. "No need for a healer, brother. I'm at full health. I'm actually in the middle of apologizing, just like you had suggested." As flustered as you were with this whole situation, you raised your eyebrow at Ubbe's so called suggestion. Had he known? It made sense that Ivar had told one of his brothers but you still glanced at him to see what was going on. Your blush only darkened when you saw that Ivar was looking directly at you. "I thought the plan was to apologize at the Great Hall, brother." You made the mistake of following Ubbe's voice. He stared at you too with devilish eyes. This wasn't something that Ivar could have possibly planned but you still felt like the brothers were ganging up on you, teasing you. By this point, you knew that Ivar for one certainly enjoyed seeing you blush. As if reading your mind, the younger of the two suddenly reached out and grabbed your hand. "She wasn't at the Great Hall, brother. But I can see how in your state you might not have noticed that." You groaned as Ubbe laughed at Ivar's words. Your cheeks were still burning but you didn't let go of the hand that held yours, not even when Ivar pulled you to sit on the bed. "Anyway... If you don't mind." Ivar squeezed harder, almost as if he was asking your permission to keep holding you. You squeezed back and he let out a quiet sigh behind you. "I still have some apologizing to do." "Of course! I can't imagine she would forgive you so quickly!" A loud laugh left Ubbe's lips and even in your unhinged state you giggled along. Ivar seemed to like that because he urged you further back onto the bed, no longer concerned about his brother. You felt his strong arm sneak around your waist as he pulled you closer. Even with Ubbe here, he kissed your shoulder and you didn't need to turn around to know that those blue eyes were focused solely on you. "Just remember, little brother. You're never too proud to beg for forgiveness from a beautiful woman. I'll get the door then, shall I?" Ubbe's laughter faded into the distance as you leaned back into the hungry kisses that Ivar had started trailing down your neck. You reached out to stop him but he caught your hand and moved it to his neck instead. You didn't fight him. All you could hear was the sound of the door slamming shut and Ubbe's amused laughter in the distance as Ivar's long fingers wrapped around your waist and pulled you close to his chest. He wasn't going to let anyone stop him now.

[ichigopanhpff]

Ignis x Reader Fic: Next To You Pt. 2

Wow. Didn’t expect this amount of people reading the first part. I truly appreciate the love thrown this way :D

This thing might be a 3-4 parter. It’s unintentionally become a slow burn. Here’s part 2!

Part 1

“I never got your names, by the way,” (Y/N) brought up. “Well, I know you’re Prompto. Ig’s mentioned you’re a big fan of ‘King’s Knight.’”

The blond chuckled uneasily.

“And you…” She slowly walked up to the brawny man, analyzing his physique. “Foreboding presence, giant muscles, steel trap glare… You’re an Amicitia… Gladiolus, right?”

“Lucky guess,” the burly man replied in amusement with a cocked eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Just Gladio’s fine. So what’s the plan, fun size?” “Fun size?” She quickly whipped her head up at the tall, muscular man, slightly offended. “Don’t mind him. He’s like that with everyone who’s shorter than him,” Prompto coaxed. “Which is pretty much everybody…” he meekly finished. “Meh, whatever,” she spoke with disregard. “Come along, Tiny.” “Tiny?!”

Now it was Gladio’s turn to feel insulted as Prompto tried to stifle his laughter by biting his knuckle.

(Y/N) ignored the Shield’s reaction and walked back into the entranceway leading to the ballroom. Prompto quietly followed her after he calmed down, with Gladio bringing up the rear. Leaning to the side just out of sight, she surveyed the crowd’s attention on Noct and quickly devised a strategy upon locating the exit.

“We go in, hang out for a bit to listen to the speech and slip out one by one,” she instructed with a whisper. “A timed interval of three to four minutes would be best. We’d attract too much attention otherwise.”

“You sounded exactly like Iggy just now,” Gladio observed. “We used to spend a lot of time together,” (Y/N) spoke softly and flashed a grin. “Let’s go.” She turned her head back at them and made solid eye contact.

“Remember: three to four minute waiting period. Got it memorized?” “Yes ma’am,” the tattooed man mockingly saluted, only to be received with an eye roll.

The three strolled in as Noct was a third through his speech, thanking patrons and esteemed guests for coming. They leaned on a wall at the far end of the room, gingerly inching themselves closer to the desired doorway. Prompto took his camera out of his pocket and snapped a few shots of his best friend on stage. He then turned to (Y/N) and Gladio to snap a shot.

After the first four minutes passed, (Y/N) casually walked out, stilling paying brief attention to Noct’s stiff delivery and was sure Ignis wrote it; the vocabulary and sentence structure gave it all away. Nearing the exit, she discreetly grabbed two bottles of wine as she passed by a table and hid them on the insides of her forearm. Using the dimly lit room to her advantage, (Y/N) slipped them into the hidden pockets of her dress before disappearing from sight.

“Damn, she’s good,” Gladio complimented under his breath with an impressed look. “Guess one of us gotta get glasses.”

“It’s not gonna be me!” Prompto quickly stated in a panicked whisper.

“Obviously.”

After waiting the strategized grace period, Prompto went next and tried to act casual by nervously waving at Noct from the distance.

“You idiot,” Gladio mumbled to himself and face palmed his slow shaking head.

As the blond boy got near the exit, he grabbed another handful of hors d'oeuvres before exiting the premises. The burly man gave it three minutes before he made his exit, gave Noct a nod and left the room. He thought it’d be best for Ignis to grab the hardware for the drinking vessels. Seeing the two at the end of the hallway, he quickened his pace to rejoin the party.

“This way,” (Y/N) tilted her head left and walked on ahead.

“Where’d you learn to grab something like that without people noticing?” Gladio enquired and caught up to her in two whole strides.

She turned her head back with a mischievous grin and said, “Family trade secret, m’dear.”

“So, (Y/N), how’d you know Ignis?”

“We were in the same gifted children’s program, so we’re childhood friends in a way,” she explained. “But then I dropped out.”

“How come?” Prompto asked. “Lotta kids would kill to be in there.”

“… Because it was boring,” she answered simply and shrugged her shoulders.

“Boring? Didn’t you guys do special training and stuff?”

“Yeah, but it became a chore after that… And the kids were super intense.”

“Couldn’t handle the competition?” Gladio teased.

“More like they couldn’t handle me,” she corrected. “Ig was the only one. Everyone else decided bullying me to cover up their jealousy was easier than improving themselves.”

Before the two Crownsguard asked any more questions, (Y/N) stopped in her steps and huffed a relaxed breath through a lop-sided grin.

“I’d say this is the perfect drinking spot, wouldn’t you say so?”

The party entered a fully furnished room that looked to be a study with plush armchairs and couches. The carpeted floor welcomed warmth compared to the dark, cold marble hallway.

“Whoa… Are we even supposed to be here?” Prompto blurted out and cautiously looked around; he felt like he was breaking in.

“Probably not, but I remember this room well,” (Y/N) replied. “I spent many hours in here with Ig studying while we had down time from adviser duty training. Well…” She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head and corrected herself. “He’d be studying; I’d be trying to get him to play games with me.”

Taking the bottles out of her dress pockets, she placed them on a nearby wooden table with a soft thud. And feeling the limit her feet could take on her heels, she promptly removed them and let out a relieved sigh as she wiggled her toes on the plush carpeted floor and heard the joints crack.

“Whoever invented these torture devices need to be stabbed with ‘em in the neck from behind,” she darkly remarked to herself, venomously glaring at her high heels.

“You think Ignis and Noct’ll be able to find us here?” Prompto asked.

“I’m calling them now,” Gladio responded, looking at his mobile.

“There’s no need to do so,” a familiar, irate voice interjected.

Ignis stood in the doorway, arms crossed, clearly unamused with (Y/N)’s antics. Noct was standing behind him.

“If you had time to swipe two bottles of wine, you could’ve at least stayed for the end of the speech,” he lectured while entering the study. “That would’ve drawn much less attention, especially for the Crownsguard.”

“Every plan has a flaw,” she half-heartedly defended with a relaxed grin. “It was a ‘go as you see fit’ strategy.”

The adviser tiredly sighed and pinched his nose bridge with closed eyes and knitted eyebrows.

“I already have to babysit one child tonight–” “Hey,” Noct blurted out. “No one’s asking you to babysit me, Ig. I take full responsibility for the screw up.” “That’s new,” Ignis let slip under his breath. “Don’t be rude.”

(Y/N) playfully shoved him by the shoulder.

“Look, I’m sorry we all missed the end,” she apologized. “But we heard two-thirds of it if that counts for something. Bit stiff, if you ask me.” “It had to be formal–” “Yeah, I get that,” she cut in. “But you could’ve livened it up a bit with a joke here or a pun there. You love your puns; they’re your thing.” “See, if you were adviser, you’d be able to do that,” Ignis argued. “But you’re not, so he’ll have to read my stiff speeches.”

“His sentencing is a burden I’ll have to take,” Noct joked from behind and walked over to flop down on the couch. Letting out a long sigh of relief, he removed his tie with one long tug and unfastened the top two buttons. Prompto sat beside him while Gladio stretched out on the opposite couch.

“So, anyone grab glasses?” (Y/N) asked. “Or are we just gonna drink out of the bottle?”

Ignis adjusted his spectacles and sighed heavily before speaking.

“Third cabinet on your right, top shelf,” he robotically dictated. “See? This is why you’re the best,” she replied with a grin and quickly ran to the aforementioned cabinet. “Hey, Tiny! I need your height.” “Tiny?” Noct asked in confusion while Prompto cracked up. “This isn’t gonna be a thing now, is it?” Gladio grunted out as he got off of the plush couch and walked over. “Dunno, it’s kinda growing on me,” (Y/N) teased.

The tall guard rolled his eyes and grabbed the necessary equipment and brought it back to the table. (Y/N) then filled everyone’s glasses and they all toasted to Noct’s birthday. Their conversations consisted mostly of ‘King’s Knight’ strategies, rare items and questions about (Y/N)’s job at Ultima Inc.. Ignis stayed quiet for the most part and observed her instead. It’d been a while since he’s seen her this lively with people. As the evening rolled on into the late hours, the questions changed to more personal ones.

“So why’d you turn down the adviser role?” Gladio suddenly asked. “Ah…” She fidgeted with the stem of her glass and looked down at her hands.  “S-Sorry,” Prompto apologized. “If it’s a private thing, we won’t dig.”

(Y/N) drew in a sharp breath and set her glass down gently.

“It’s fine,” she reassured. “It’s public knowledge, after all. Short answer: He’s a giver, I’m a taker. Ig was born to be the adviser.” “And what ‘bout the long answer?” Gladio pressed on. “I’ve been curious ‘bout you since you figured out who I am just by looking at me.” “Curious or cautious?” she corrected with a hint of instigation. “Both.” She turned to Ignis and abruptly asked, “How much do you trust them?” “With my life.” “I see…”

She suddenly went quiet, as if weighing her options on something.

“(Y/N), don’t feel pressured to,” he soothed and placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s fine…” She looked up at them seriously. “Let me ask you: what do you know of the (Y/LN)s?” “Not much… If at all,” Noct sheepishly replied and rubbed the back of his head, slightly embarrassed. “I’ve heard vague whispers of your family’s name here and there from people,” Gladio added. “But there’s no paper trail in any of the Lucian history books.”

“As expected of the royal family… To wipe the taint off like specks of dust into the wind…” she muttered with a sad smile. “To give you the abridged version, my family is…” She paused and corrected herself. “Were formerly the secret intelligence gathering sector of the Lucian government. Anything that happened inside and outside the Walls of Insomnia, from every law-abiding Joe Schmo to court officials reached the King’s or Queen’s ears through us. We were the royal’s connection to the rest of the world, heeding to their every beck and call. We were the negotiators of peace and the wagers of wars from the shadows.”

“Your family were basically spies and assassins,” Gladio calmly summarized. “Spies, yes. Assassins only when necessary.” “So what happened?” Prompto enquired.

“After the passing of Lucis Caelem the Warrior, our family’s influence dwindled. To adapt to the changing times, my parents wished for their children to become royal officials so we’d be able to ‘stay relevant’, as I put it,” she bitterly elaborated with air quotes from her fingers.

“My brothers and I took the examination for the gifted children’s school and I was the only one who got accepted. Then came the insurmountable pressure; every gifted child’s chip on the shoulder. Everyday I went to that school, bits of myself died little by little. Then the questions started in my head: why was I picked to become the puppet for my parents’ thirst for power? Why was this decided for me without my say in it? And then one day, I just… broke.”

(Y/N) brought her knees up to her chest and hugged it, trying to steady her emotions through her breaths. Ignis wrapped his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder, hoping a panic attack wouldn’t rise up.

“You can stop here if you want…” Ignis comforted in a soft voice.

“No, I’m fine…” She swallowed hard and looked to her friend. “My therapist said I should talk if I feel comfortable enough to.” She then looked at the other three in the room. “But I’ll stop if it’s making you all feel weird.”

“I wanna hear the rest,” Gladio firmly stated. “Prince Noctis?” “You don’t have to be so formal with me,” he muttered and looked away bashfully. “… But I wanna hear the rest of it, too.” “Same!” Prompto agreed. “Seems like the vote is unanimous,” Ignis encouraged with a small smile. (Y/N) gently nodded and took a deep breath.

“After that, I stopped going to school, subsequently dropped out of the program and he officially became the prince’s adviser. I became a shut-in and started tinkering with computers and programming instead. Inanimate objects didn’t judge and gave no pressure or obligations.”

“Then what happened?” Noct asked.

“Ignis the Persistent happened.” She turned to her friend with an arched eyebrow and a smirk. “He came over to my house every damn day. My parents thought he was harboring a crush on me.”

Prompto let out a snicker while Noct had an amused smirk on his face. Gladio merely let out an impressed whistle and sipped his wine.

“Not bad, specs,” Gladio commented.

“I was checking up on her well-being,” Ignis sharply retorted and pushed his spectacles up. “I grew concerned when I heard she left.”

“And when my parents finally let you see me…” (Y/N) started again.

“You were huddled underneath blankets, completely emaciated looking in a room messier than Noct’s while you were hacking into something,” Ignis finished, looking slightly annoyed from the memory.

“Niflheim’s government database, I think,” she recalled. “For fun.” “For fun?!” Noct and Prompto exclaimed.

“Unfortunately, I forgot to set my IP to bounce through remote dummy servers and they tracked me down,” she meekly replied. “One of their high commanders showed up and tried recruiting me, given my family history and all…”

“And did you?” Gladio asked.

“I’ve done a lot of messed up things in my short life; treason wasn’t gonna be one of ‘em. I’m a Lucian for life,” she answered with a sense of pride. “After that trouble simmered down, this one,” (Y/N) gestured to Ignis. “Continued to come by everyday, trying to convince me to come back to school, no matter how many times I told him no, despite my reason.”

“So how’d he get you to come back out?” Prompto asked.

“’King’s Knight,’ actually… He downloaded it onto his phone and showed it to me when he came by one day. I started playing it with him and found a lot of things lacking about the game. So I hacked it.”

“That’s how specs got so good in such a short time,” Noct said to himself.

“You can’t hack ‘King’s Knight’!” the blond boy jeered. “That’s sacrilege to the game!”

“It could’ve been so much better at that time,” (Y/N) defended her actions. “I back-doored the app, read through the code and made my own upgrade patches to max out my 2-star ranked character’s damage,” she boasted. “Then I got reported and my account got banned, followed with a serious letter from the developers at Ultima.”

“Were they going to sue you?”

“It was a job interview, of all things. They wanted to pick my brain as to how I managed to do what I did. And I got hired on the spot.”

The three boys looked in awe and amusement after (Y/N) finished her story.

“To think you’d use technology to lure me out where traditional methods failed you.” “Just being resourceful,” Ignis coolly replied and adjusted his spectacles.

With the wine finished and everyone exhausted from the day’s event, everyone called it a night and went their separate ways. Seeing how late it was already, (Y/N) practically pleaded with Ignis to let her stay over at his place; he was too tired to argue with her at this point and reluctantly agreed.

“Sure you two aren’t together?” Gladio casually pointed out jokingly. “I assure you we’re not,” she briskly answered. “I’m just too lazy to go home tonight. So far away…”

She gathered her belongings, including a go-bag she stashed in one of the cabinets and said her good nights to everyone before following Ignis out to the car. He had to drop Noct off back at his own apartment first before heading home. With barely any traffic around Insomnia, they made it back to Ignis’ place in record time.

“I’ll take the couch,” Ignis tiredly said as he undid his tie and removed his shoes in the foyer. “You can take my bed.” “You’ve had a long day. Go sleep in your own bed,” (Y/N) insisted and removed her shoes. “I’m more comfortable on your couch anyway.”

As she entered, she dropped her bag on the floor in the living room, removed her gloves and started to unzip her dress.

“What are you doing?!” her friend exclaimed, quickly looking away and shielded his eyes from her nearly half naked form. “What? It’s not like you haven’t seen a naked woman before.” “You’re really careless when you’re around me,” Ignis blurted out, still looking away from her. Unfortunately, he still managed to catch a glimpse of her half naked form from his peripheral and felt his pulse racing. “Oh please, you’d never do anything to me,” (Y/N) dismissed and continued to undress, revealing lacy undergarments underneath. It’s like she subconsciously knew that was one of his favorites.

As she hopped out of her clothes and made her way to the bathroom to shower, Ignis quickly grabbed her wrist and pinned her up against the nearest wall. He could smell the lingering scent of her favorite perfume on her pulse mixed in with the alcohol they’d drunk. Even in a dimly lit apartment, his green eyes were still as intense. She never realized how beautiful they were until now.

“And what if I were to?” he said in a low, deep voice. “We may have been friends for a long time, but I’m still a man, you know.” “If you were to do something,” she huskily challenged and leaned in closer, their lips centimeters from each other. “You would’ve already.” “And what if…” Ignis removed his glasses and threw it onto the nearby counter with a clatter. His forehead was now touching hers, staring deeply at her as his other hand found her wrist and firmly held it down. “I was still planning it out?” “Are you testing me, Mr. Scientia?” (Y/N) rose up to his bait, seeing how far he’d take this. “Just reminding you if I were anyone else you did this in front of, they would’ve taken full advantage of you by now.” “But that’s where you’re wrong: I wouldn’t do this in front of anyone else. You of all people should know I’m not that easy.”

Letting out a sharp breath through his nose, he leaned away and released his grip on her.

“Just go wash up. I’ll prepare some towels for you outside.”

(Y/N) remained silent and went her way. After hearing the bathroom door softly shut, Ignis firmly gripped the countertop and squeezed his eyes close.

“What am I doing?” he whispered to himself and realized his pants went a little tight.

[kagapop]

is buff fish bokuto a valid prompt?

“BitW AU where everything’s the same except Akaashi and Bokuto’s roles are switched” has been discussed a lot lately, so here’s a rewrite-ish-thing of that beach scene from Chapter 5 or whatever.

It was a shame that birds didn’t live under water.

It was a terrible shame, because Koutarou, really, truly loved them. He loved his time at the sanctuary, he loved spending time with Yui, but, god, these legs.

Legs were the worst possible invention. Period. Why did people like them so much?

Well, okay, maybe they didn’t have a choice. That was… fair. And, really, his legs weren’t so bad, all the pain and fuss that came with land exhaustion aside. He had good legs. Good, thick, sort of scaly legs.

Right now, however, he did not have those legs. Instead, he had a strong, gold and black and white tail, and it felt so good to have it immersed in the salty water again. This part of the beach was pretty abandoned at night and early in the morning, so he’d been venturing out to soak up as often as he could without getting caught.

Koutarou dipped his head and all beneath the water, sighing something content as his gills parted and the sounds of the sea calmed his racing mind, free of things like Eventide and serpents and all that nonsense.

Except, that wouldn’t last. That never lasted. He was trying really, really hard to make it happen, though.

He poked his head halfway above the water, only to gaze at the moon with a clearer view. It was so glowy, and calm. Why couldn’t he be that calm? Fuck the moon.

At that very thought, he heard a tiny splash, as if the big round thing in the sky was retorting through the waves. The jerk.

Except, the moon didn’t do that. Probably wasn’t capable of it. So, he looked for the source, and found something far more interesting, and far prettier than the moon.

He grinned, and dipped beneath the surface. He could see the visitor’s feet through fading clouds of sand in the more shallow water. When he came close enough, that water was far too shallow to properly swim in, so he promped himself up by his arms with his fin still mostly-submerged.

The jerk-of-a-moon had its light reflected in Keiji’s wide, unexpectant eyes, and it made Koutarou think that the moon couldn’t actually be that much of a jerk, if it could somehow make the sailor look even more pretty.

“Surprise!” he said, but not too loudly. His grin was loud enough on its own.

Keiji was definitely staring at his tail, so Koutarou gave it a show-offy little flop. It sparkled in the moonlight, he knew it did. Humans were fascinated by this sort of thing, right? And Keiji looked pretty amazed right now, he was sure.

“…Shouldn’t you be more careful with that?”

“I am being careful!”

“Anyone else could have seen you. Aren’t you concerned someone might…”

“Throw a fishing net at me?” Koutarou blew that off with a “pfft” sound. “I’ve been at this for months, Keiji. I know what I’m doing.” He pulled himself upright, almost sitting, or as close to sitting as he could come without a proper butt. “But what are you doing out here? Did you come to see my tail?”

“I hardly expected to run into you again, Koutarou.”

Koutarou pouted, and gave his tail another little flop. “Okay, but, here I am. With my tail. Isn’t that, like, a really rare sight for you sailors? I’m letting you look at it! You can even touch it!”

Keiji looked down to said tail, and offered a very slow nod. “It is… quite impressive.”

“A-ha!” His tail splashed again, this time not on purpose, and getting Keiji wet.

The sailor frowned down at his pants, soaked far more than he’d intended, but he wasn’t exactly unaccustomed to wet clothes, anyhow. “Perhaps, if you’re going to come so close to shore, you should… change back?”

Another pout, and Koutarou stared long and hard at the shore. He’d been in the water for long enough tonight, right? Sure. It would be worth it. Definitely worth it.

“One second,” he said, and turned to dive back into deeper waters, leaving a confused Keiji behind. Moments later, he was rushing out onto dry stand, stark naked and making a dash for the clothes he’d left by the rocks. When he finally put on some pants, he found Keiji sitting in the sand, looking very much like he’d just seen something he shouldn’t have. As if his tail wasn’t naked when he was looking at that, too. Humans were weird. “I thought you’d be gone by now!”

“I did contemplate leaving while you changed.”

“I– what– not just now,” he huffed, “I mean, your ship! I thought you were just delivering some stuff and ditching?”

“We’ll be leaving port later, after the sun has risen. There are more supplies we need before we head out for Kingston.”

“Then you have more time to spend with me!”

Keiji didn’t look as excited as Koutarou wanted him to look. He looked more suspicious of him, actually. Shouldn’t a human have been more excited to spend time with a handsome merman like himself? He definitely should have been. Maybe he was. Maybe he just didn’t realize he was. Koutarou had to make him realize he was.

“Wait,” he said, then, completely ditching that train of thought, “Kingston? Your ship’s going there, next?”

Keiji quirked a brow. “Have you been?”

Koutarou threw his head back. “Yeah, that place sucks! It’s way better here, right? Everyone’s friendlier, and there’re more birds and nature and stuff.” And it was easier to hide, on Owl Roost.

“Everyone’s so friendly, but you sure wanted to avoid that person in the tavern, before.”

“Keijiiiiii,” he groaned, rolling his head until he was looking the sailor in the eyes. Fuck, those eyes. Humans weren’t supposed to have such nice eyes. Or hair. Or faces. Or anything in general, really. “That’s not fair. That’s an exception.”

“I don’t suppose you intend to explain it, either.” Keiji drew his legs up closer. “You don’t have to answer that. I wasn’t expecting you to. I… did want to ask, though….” He looked like he was contemplating a few different ways of going about his question, first. “…Do you know anything of any kidnappings? Regarding your kind, I mean.”

Koutarou’s expression fell, then, and Keiji’s eyes were suddenly a little less distracting. “Oh, er….” His feet pushed through the sand until they were straight out in front of him. “Like, anything specific? No… That stuff happens a lot, though.” He ran a sandy hand through black and white hair. “A lotta humans are assholes. I mean, you’re fine! I don’t really know you, but I kinda feel like I can trust you, for some reason!” He made eye contact again, just once, but he couldn’t handle the questioning look Keiji was staring him down with. “I mean, most of you don’t realize people like me exist, right? But then the ones who do are just… really fucking sick, y'know? They think they can use our tails and scales however they want.”

“You mean for decor,” Keiji said, not asked. His eyes trailed to the patches of scales dotting Koutarou’s stomach, then the ones outlining the muscles of his arms.

Koutarou seemed to catch onto his question before it was even asked. “That, or clothes, or jewelry…” He ran a finger over a patch on his upper arm. “It’s fucking stupid. Most of you guys don’t even think we’re real, so what’s the point in choppin’ us up for that sorta thing? You already got snakes and shit.” He gripped at his arm. “The people buying that stuff don’t even buy into the ‘mermaid scale’ thing. They just think it’s pretty. Which, I mean, we are pretty.”

If he wasn’t mistaken, Keiji made a small sound that seemed like one of agreement.

He let go of his arm, then, and flexed it in front of the sailor. “I’m not afraid of you tryin’ to rip 'em off me, though. So, you can look or touch all you want!”

Keiji did stare, for just a moment, then turned away. “That’s very considerate of you,” he said, “But I think I’m fine.”

“They’re smooth, Keiji.”

A pause. “I’m sure they are, Koutarou.”

He dropped his hand to the sand all pathetic-like. “Fine. If you aren’t gonna appreciate my amazing scales, we should do something else, while you’re still in town.”

“I don’t recall making plans to spend the rest of my day with you.”

“You just did!” Koutarou nudged his arm. “C'mon, how many people get to say they spent their day with a merman?”

Koutarou did not know about the merman sitting in a barrel on the sailor’s ship.

“I can’t say I know too many,” he said, anyway. When he caught Koutarou’s beaming look, Keiji sighed and got to his feet. “It’s early, Koutarou. I will give you an hour, at most.”

Koutarou jumped right up with him with a whoop, and pulled shook the sand from his shirt before pulling it up and over his head. “An hour of what, then?”

Keiji’s eyes wandered, and he pursed his lips. Then, he said, “How well acquainted are you with Barnwood Trail?”

[lookingstunning]

April 28, 2019 is the one year anniversary of WICOMICON, a pop up convention in Baltimore that was planned and executed in one week.

The past few days I’ve seen people on twitter reminiscing and I thought now was the best time for me to finally write that blog post that I really should have wrote last year.

I was very sick during the whole Universal FanCon situation so I wasn’t able to follow it as closely as I might have otherwise and even then I tend to be a bit too trusting so who knows?

I fared better than many, in the end I lost less than $50. That’s still a significant amount of money for me, but way less than what others lost. I hadn’t booked my hotel or rental car and if need be, I could have easily gotten back on the schedule at work. Financially, I would have been fine. But spiritually, I was devastated. I had gathered up the courage to make business connections! I reached out to people about that con! I was gonna do everything I could to help make FanCon a success and the universe told me that my decision to do so had been incorrect.

And then I saw The Nerds of Color’s twitter. They were gonna do something.

And then I DMed saying I’d be happy to help in whatever way I could. This whole time I was under the assumption that they’d made a call for volunteers that very day but I can’t find a tweet so I suppose I just reached out knowing they’d need people.

It took a few minutes for me to decide after I saw the first tweet saying they’d be doing something. I was mostly worried about money and practicality: Maybe this is the universe’s way of saying I really shouldn’t take a trip right now. Maybe it was the universe saying I should just slow down with my con work in general.

But then I thought of the people already on their way to Baltimore who had to find out about Universal FanCon during flight transfers. I thought of all the vendors who’d spent so much money and time preparing. I thought of myself and how I hadn’t stopped shaking since I heard the news. Like I said, it only took a few minutes for me to decide.

I booked my hotel. I booked my rental car. And, my younger sister and I drove up to Baltimore.

I listened to Season 1 of Dice Funk during the drive and had to keep the volume all the way up because I couldn’t hear otherwise. My sister hated it.

I drove over 13 hours to Baltimore. It’s the longest drive I’ve ever made to date.

We got there Thursday so I could get a full night’s sleep before helping with set up on Friday.

I got a tour of the Black Cherry Puppet Theatre by its founder, Michael ( it is a gorgeous space and if you get a chance, you definitely need to see a show there).

And then, as always in a new city, I had no idea where I was allowed to park when I got to 1100 WICOMICO. It was slightly better on Saturday but only slightly. Parking… just sucks.

But back to Friday happenings! I was very nervous and if I’d given myself the chance I probably would have felt inadequate.

Thankfully, I didn’t give myself that chance. I was in con prep mode and con prep mode is by its very nature: optimistic, enthusiastic, and very sweaty. At least for me anyway.

We got some supplies upstairs and went over the game plan for Saturday. Most job assignments would be assigned the day of because most volunteers would be arriving the day of. I had no idea whatI’d be doing on Saturday other than “a lot”. I did know I was SUPER excited for how they were letting people into the con.

And with good reason, look at that!

https://twitter.com/Darian_Robbins/status/990376172650364928

Tweet from @Darian_Robbins. It reads: “Me and the fam stepped into #WICOMICON like whaaaaat!!!!” Contains video of the WICOMICON main entrance.

I got an ok amount of sleep Friday but not nearly enough. I stayed up for a bit making marionettes until I realized I needed to go to bed because I probably wouldn’t have enough time to do puppet stuff outside of volunteering because I know how I am…

Had breakfast, stuffed my bag with snacks, juice, and water and headed back onsite.

A lot of Friday and Saturday prep melds together in my mind.

I remember I got a rec list for some new romance novels to check out on Friday.

I remember I met another Sade on Saturday.

Both days involved moving a lotta chairs and tables.

I can’t remember exactly when the phrase popped into my head: “Healing while doing the damn thing” but that’s sure as heck what I was doing.

What happened with Universal FanCon, for the longest time it felt like a betrayal. It took me way too long to realize it felt like a betrayal because it WAS a betrayal. I think a part of what made this post so difficult to write is because I didn’t want write about Wicomicon and taint it with UFC talk. Wicomicon was this wonderful experience and the UFC hurt was still fresh. I know Wicomicon wouldn’t have happened without all the Universal FanCon BS but still!

Time hasn’t healed that wound but it’s made it easier to write about.

I decided to go to Baltimore and do what I could to help because I think I would have been a wreck otherwise. When we talk about my work with cons, my older sister refers to it as my passion and I am passionate about it! I’m passionate enough that I gave my last damn dollar to a kickstarter. I’m passionate enough that despite being so sick I couldn’t stand most days, I was gonna find a way to give them my labor, somehow. I’m passionate enough that after getting surgery in late 2017, I was most excited about being able to work more cons.

Wicomicon helped me remember that placing my passion, my love, and my effort into cons isn’t futile. Wicomicon helped me remember that I am a part of a community of passionate and giving people.

There was a lot of going up and down for supplies to set up. We finished setting up the dealer’s room, panel room, and show room just under the wire.

I was real jazzed about that elevator entrance, I kinda wanted to be the operator but I let that idea go pretty fast, I was moving around too much and helping with set up, on e of the volunteers that got there later would probably hold down that particular fort.

Me and a lovely young woman did our best to solve the puzzle that was arranging the dealers’ room. A dealer came in and asked us questions about set up and I happily told them she was in charge of dealers room set up.

She tried to deny it but she legit had been in charge of dealers room for well over an hour at that point without realizing it. She was doing great and it was a pleasure working with her.

We helped dealers set up and as the day started I ended up where I’d spend the majority of the day: programming. We had to start a bit late and so I and another volunteer made sure the two panel rooms stayed on schedule. I remember googling numbers on my phone so I could hold my phone up as a title card to warn the panelists when time was almost up.

I remember being on audience microphone duty and regretting one of my choices… I remember zoning out during Sailor J’s panel and being rightfully roasted. I remember spending most of the day standing until I had to sit down or I knew I’d never make it through take down.

I remember going up to every volunteer I met to make sure they had lunch and being happy to hear that lunch had been had or was scheduled to be had soon. I brought food with me because I was broke and didn’t trust myself to remember to take a lunch break.

I did take a break. I spent it attending panels.

I remember spending so much of the day smiling until I had to force my face to stay neutral for awhile because it hurt because I’d been smiling that much. I am a smiley person y’all. My Wicomicon smile was no joke.

I walked around for a minute or two, earlier in the day, so I could send a video to my siblings back home through Marco Polo.

{Put video here}

I remember being so happy to see cosplayers and especially the child cosplayers. I remember being so happy to see so many people throughout the day.

I remember being so grateful to the panelists and doing my best to express that gratitude and being worried I was doing enough to let them know how awesome they all were.

I remember feeling unbelievable happy and proud of what we accomplished.

The day was long and there wasn’t nearly enough artificial lighting in the panel room.

I was exhausted by end of day but got my second wind during take down. I was super sweaty and forgot to take any pics of myself until after I looked a whole mess and had removed half of my cute outfit, that’s life.

I am so grateful for this experience.

I got to meet so many people I knew from twitter and tumblr and had the honor of working with them to make this ridiculously wonderful event.

I got to relearn that I have expertise and I am an asset to whatever team is smart enough to add me on.

I got to go to Wicomicon.

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#WICOMICON: Healing While Doing the Damn Thing It's been a year! Time to finally write a blog post about it! April 28, 2019 is the one year anniversary of WICOMICON, a pop up convention in Baltimore that was planned and executed in one week.