#I am actively working on making myself less isolated so why can't I gave myself a fucking break in the meantime

[mellotronmkll]

I really need to get it out of my head that how much time I spend alone is somehow tied to morality LOL like that sounds insane but like. I get out of the house i do things i have people in my life but i feel so guilty like actually guilty all the time for not having more friends and if i dont really see anyone for a few days I'm like wow . I am a really horrible person and wretched to my core aren't I. Even though I Like being alone and spend my time doing enjoyable and fulfilling things with myself. Like what's up with that

[etlunainmorte]

“May I have the honor of this dance, my lady?”

"I long to see such things as those you have probably seen. I want to experience everything and I wish to see them with my own eyes. See for myself what these poems of mine describe. But, the idea of doing those things alone,… do not please me, at all.”

“Would I be selfish if I ask you to accompany me, little wanderer?”

“Those scars,… symbolize the true enjoyment and will that you felt doing that special something you adore. Those feet, my Lady,… I would kiss,… over,… and over again,… if I could,… ”

“What matters is that you still have precious people around you, my Lady. You must focus on not losing them, as well.”

“Those feelings you have for me, I’m afraid we do not share them mutually.” 

"I do feel obliged to tell you that I’ am not the person you seem to know. I’ am neither a good person, nor a hero you consider. In fact, I’ am the villain of your story. And I, may I add, only helped you because you seem so,… useless. Why would you even take up this massive commission in the first place? You are not as half as strong as the weakest Devil Hunter here to begin with. You are just a weak human who relies on others for survival."

“I choose,… POWER!”

"ENOUGH!"

You woke up to the sound of his frightening voice that seemed to rattle the whole place. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness inside your room as you hysterically felt for the things around you. And when your cold and trembling hands reached what felt like the soft and smooth bed covers you haven't used for what seemed like ages, your heart felt like it would shatter. You know he was there, just outside your dark and suffocating room, and you knew full well that if you get up, walk to that door, and open it, you will see him.

But, at the same time, you knew you can't.

How you've wanted so much to go to him, to throw yourself at him, to embrace him, and tell him that you love him very much but, you know you can't.

"I choose,... POWER!"

Those were the words that he told you after you bore your whole, fragile heart to him. It,... hurt you, and you knew you would be lying if you said it didn't. It hurts, and you could never deny that fact.

Then, darkness. You couldn't remember anything else after that. What happened after that? And how long ago was that? A week? A month? A year?

You tried to move an inch, however, an unbelievable sensation of pain hit your mid - section, your arms, and your legs. You covered your mouth, trying to stifle the scream of horrified pain that tried to escape from it as you heard some more, incomprehensible noises outside. It seemed that he was not alone. There were others,...

... but you didn't have any idea who they were,...

... only that they sounded familiar.

With a huge amount of effort, you carefully sat up as you propped up on your elbows, still feeling the excruciating pain in your body. You carefully swung your right leg off the edge of the bed first, followed by your left one. When you felt the coldness of the floor through your toes, you slowly put your feet down, then tried to stand,...

... only for you to collapse and scramble on the floor. You swiftly covered your mouth once more and closed your eyes as you stopped yourself from screaming and crying.

Everything hurts. Everything.

You remained on the floor curled up like this as your tears fell silently from your face. Your arms on your stomach and your legs folded, you stayed there, embracing the coldness and loneliness and waiting for those ear - shattering sounds to subside. And when they finally did, you took a deep breath and tried to stand once more. It became awfully quiet but, you couldn't care less. At least, they were gone. He was gone.

And that was entirely better compared to him pushing you away and physically and emotionally hurting you yet again.

With a slight limp, you made your way towards the door, and,...

All of a sudden, you heard it - a knock. On your front door.

Your hand abruptly left the doorknob as the knock became more and more impatient. You were about to go back to your own bed, cover yourself with those heavy bed sheets, and pretend that you didn't hear anything, when you heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, V! You forgot something at the shop!"

What,... ?

Despite the pain in your stomach and limbs, you flung open the door and sped towards the front door, ignoring the mess in the living room and even failing to notice your precious antique record on the table. You grabbed the brass doorknob, flung open the door, and,...

"Whoa, Babe! You don't look so good - "

The man was startled when you threw yourself into his arms, and when he felt your body trembling as you let out those tears of agony, he couldn't help but feel even more protective towards you.

You looking so sad and broken and vulnerable,...

... it simply tore his heart apart.

He,... could not bear it!

"I'm sorry, Dante!" He heard your muffled sob. You were making his jacket wet with tears but, he didn't care.

He didn't care.

Because he only cared about you.

"I'm so sorry,..."

Wrapping his arms around your fragile frame, he said, "Why are you saying that?! You did nothing wrong, (Y/N)! You - "

"I'm sorry - !"

The man grabbed your shoulders and looked straight into your red and puffy eyes.

"Alright, babe." He told you straight in the face without so much as a hesitation. "You're coming with me."

***

I See My Future Before Me - Alternate Endings

***

***

To Dante, staying low and quiet for almost three months felt agonizing enough. He could only take small Demon hunting jobs for a while so as not to raise any suspicion. Hell, he even took a different name and went as far as Gaoltown ( where there was little to no demonic activity ) past Swan Lane where no one would recognize him. Not to mention putting Morrison in charge of Devil May Cry during his absence ( he just couldn't trust anyone, even Trish or Lady, for this ). 

Well, despite this meager choice of a lifestyle, Dante still miraculously pulled through. He often volunteered for farm work when he has no Demon hunting commissions, helping with the harvest ( people were kind enough to let him take home some fruits and vegetables after a hard day's work ) or taking care of the cattle ( the sheep were all nice to him, so were the cows but, all of the goats seemed to share the same interest of kicking him in the butt for some reason ). His new neighbors, a cute old couple ( who honestly looked like an old couple from a fairy tale ), although a bit suspicious of him at first, came to really like him, often giving him meals so he would not go out of town to procure some. The simple rural days felt so calm and peaceful, and the quiet nights felt so serene and cool, unlike the always busy and chaotic atmosphere of Red Grave.

Over time, the humble rural life of Gaoltown has grown on Dante, and soon enough, he has learned to accept his new life as a simple man with simple pleasures.

And the girl who was living with him? The people came to love her, as well, just like how they've grown to love him.

"You will take long?" You asked as you watched Dante prepare for another Demon hunting commission ( this time, a pair of Hell Judecas bothering the Gaoltown mayor's family ), confused as to the sudden change in his demeanor. Normally, his missions only lasted for a few hours, four to five, tops.

But, now, he said that the mission would take an entire day to do.

And for only a couple of Hell Judeca's? That sounded so suspicious,...

The Legendary Devil Hunter, whose skin has become tan due to many hours outside helping the neighbors with farm work, looked up and gave you that charming boyish smile. "You sound like a worried wife."

You sighed as you shook your head. "I' am worried. There are only two Demons. It shouldn't take you an hour or so." You placed the kitchen towel impatiently on top of the wooden table and stepped closer towards him. "Tell me, why do you need a whole day to do this?"

The man stood up and gently laid his callous hands on your cheeks. "And now, you sound like a jealous wife."

"Stop that, please,..." You uttered as you shook Dante's hands off and turned away from him. You went towards the window and stared at the peaceful scenery, unable to explain the sudden heaviness in your heart upon hearing those words from Dante.

A worried wife? A jealous, worried wife?

Impossible!

"Impossible,..." You whispered.

"What is?" Dante, who had preternatural hearing, being a half - Demon, and all, asked, walking towards you and placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"Nothing." You said, facing him and looking straight into his eyes. "You'll be late. Go now."

To this, Dante only scratched his head in confusion. "Alright, then. I'll see you later."

"Yeah." You answered, getting your stitch work from the sofa and picking up where you left off. "Take care."

Dante's words were still ringing quite clear into your head as the hot and lazy day passed. As usual, the grandma from next door visited you once more to bring you lunch but, this time, she also gave you some linens you might find useful later on. That little boy from the farm where Dante often helped came and read books with you again. He even gave you flowers, the adorable little thing. Said he wanted to marry you when he grew old. You even managed to finish the laundry and the rest of your chores a few minutes before twilight.

For three months, your quiet life went like this. At first, you felt uncomfortable with it, being a person who was so used to traveling and doing lots of activities. But now, the silent life felt like a blessing to your tired body and battered mind. You have learned to be content with the things you currently have, you have learned to appreciate nature even more,...

... and most importantly,...

... you now see Dante in a different light. He,... changed. And not for worse. Your three months of stay in Gaoltown has taught the both of you a lot of things, simplicity, hard work, appreciation,...

... your isolation from the rest of the people you knew has taught you how to appreciate Dante even more.

Well, not that the man has been unkind to you, no. Somehow, it felt like you haven't acknowledged the man enough for all of his hard work. He even chose this kind of life for your own well - being despite knowing all of the consequences. He even did his best in fulfilling his promise to you that no one would ever find out that you're here, hence, all that secrecy and staying low away from everyone.

And honestly? He did all that wonderfully and without a hint of the slightest hesitation.

Just for you.

Of course, the pain was still there. After all, it was evident with the scars on your body and the changes you've recently been going through. You don't want Dante to know about this but, you were feeling as though you were getting weaker and weaker as the days passed, like a battery that was getting closer to its limit. Waking up every morning and getting up from bed felt like a huge struggle, and doing simple chores took most of your strength. Hell, even your hair looked different. Most of its strands were still (H/C) but, should one make the effort of taking a closer look at it, one would surely notice the strands of silver - grey here and there.

And just now, just this morning, you felt,... different. Calmer. More at peace,...

You knew you're time was coming. And Dante being gone for a full day? It felt really frightening.

You were so scared to go without Dante by your side.

Did you learn how to love him just like how he loved you? No. Of course, you were still in love with that man, and Dante knew that. He respected that, even though it hurt him too much deep inside. It broke him.

And still, despite knowing all that, he persevered for you. He may not say it to you outright but, he knew what was going on with you. He noticed your difficulty in getting up each morning. He observed how the simplest of chores would take the most out of you. And most importantly, he knew all about your granny hair problem.

Dante knew but, he never spoke up about it.

And now, as the clock struck six in the evening, you sat in front of your door, waiting for Dante to arrive,...

... only for someone else to come.

You looked up, stood, and took a few steps back. And in shock and fright, you turned away and tried to close the door, only for the visitor to take hold of your arm.

"Hon, talk to me, please!"

"Nico, leave me alone,..."

The Artisan only tightened her grip on your arm as she forced you to look her in the eyes.

"Girl, listen to me." Nico pleaded as quietly as she could so no one would notice the two of you in such a situation. "V has been lookin' all over for ya! But, for some reason, he can't see ya! He is worried sick about ya!"

That name,...

"I - i d - don't know who you're talking about,..." You stuttered as you felt your heart being crushed all over again.

The man,... actually looking for you?

Impossible!

Impossible,...

"What?! Aww, come on! I know Dante has been hidin' ya! Morrison is way too suspicious. And I'm right! Ye're here all along!"

"Nico, can you please leave me alone?" You pleaded for the second time, avoiding her eyes so she won't see you crying. But, it was no use. Nico just wouldn't be budged.

"No! V has changed! He loves ya! He still does! And he wants the two of you to start all over again! He,... wants to make it up to ya! Right every mistake he has done,..." And as if in an effort to throw all of her trump cards at the table for her to win this battle, she desperately added, "V,... can't live without you!"

For a moment, you stopped struggling against her. You took a deep breath, and exhaled, dragging the air out of your lungs as long as possible. You wanted to calm down, you do.

Yes, you love him. You still do.

But,...

... it was too late.

"Where is he?" You asked, making your voice softer.

*

"Babe, I'm home!" Dante greeted you a few hours later as he entered the house.

"Dante, I'm right here!" You called. The man followed your voice and found you sitting on the sofa in the dark living room.

"Eh, it's too dark in here! Why don't we - ?"

"No!" You cut him off as he was about to turn on the lights. "Please."

Dante only raised his eyebrow in confusion. "O - kay?" Shrugging your strange behavior off, he brought what he was carrying to the middle of the room and placed it on the floor near the windows. "I think it's time we liven things up in here! It's getting a bit boring!"

In the darkness of the room with only the moonlight as your guide, you observed how Dante arranged and connected some wires to the thing he just brought, and a few moments later, the thing lit up, brightening the whole room.

It was a television, and connected with it was a decent dvd player that must've cost Dante a huge sum of money.

"Had to go back to Red Grave to purchase these." Dante smugly confessed. "Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't able to buy Titanic and Dracula for you. They're sold out!"

"What did you get?"

"This."

"Here's Charles Muntz piloting his famous,... "

Your eyes widened at the wonderfully colorful sight before you. 

" ... is there nothing he cannot do?! Yes! As Muntz himself says,... "

"ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE! Look out, Mount Rushmore!"

"I, ah, hope you like Pixar." Dante asked as he sat on the floor next to your form.

"It's great." He heard your simple answer. "Pixar is great."

With Dante's head on your lap, the two of you watched as the two characters interacted, how they met, and what started their romance.

"I saw where your balloon went. Come on! Let's go get it. My name is Ellie."

"I thought that's a boy!"

"Dante, it's clearly a girl."

"What? I don't get it!"

"Just watch!"

"There it is! Well, go ahead."

"Ah, I wouldn't do that if I were you, kid."

"Agh, Dante, just - !"

"Okay, okay,..."

"Go on! 

"AAAGGGHHH!"

"Told ya,..."

"Oh, poor kid,..."

"HEY, KID!"

"AHH! Ouch!"

"Thought you might need a little cheering up! I have something to show ya!"

...

"I' am about to let you see something I have never shown to another human being. EVER! In my life! You'll have to swear you will NOT tell ANYONE! Cross your heart! DO IT!"

"Aww, that's so cute."

"Really? That seems creepy to me."

"You know what's even creepier, Dante?"

"What?"

"Lady and Trish taking over your shop."

"Oh, right,..."

"MY ADVENTURE BOOK! You know him: Charles Muntz, explorer! When I get big, I'm going where he's going: South America! It's like America but, it's South!"

Dante felt a gentle hand caressing his hair, and he fought the urge to take it and kiss it.

But, somehow,...

... it felt weaker.

And you,...

... you sounded different.

"You know, you don't talk much. I LIKE YOU!"

"(Y/N),..."

"Please,..."

Dante felt his breath hitch when you prevented him from seeing your face.

What,... exactly is going on?!

"Babe, you okay?"

"Yes! As fine as I'll ever be."

"(Y/N), tell me the truth, please."

"I'm fine. Don't worry. And, Dante?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. For the television. But, really. You should've told me earlier you're gonna be late because of it."

"Ahh, you sound like a jealous wife again."

"Hmm,... maybe?"

"(Y/N)," Dante began, trying his very best to see your face but, you just wouldn't let him.

Not now.

"Babe, please, tell me what's wrong. Are you hurt? Did something happen? Did - ?"

"Dante, listen to me very carefully." With those words, the man felt your caress once more as you tried to calm him down, all the while preventing him from seeing your face. And your voice,... it sounded so,... "Thank you,... for this house."

"(Y/N),...?"

"Thank you,... for this quiet and humble life. Thank you for taking care of me. For your hard work. For accepting me into your life. For,... accepting me as I' am, flaws, quirks, everything. Thank you,... for your unconditional love."

And to those words you just uttered, Dante felt his whole world collapse before him.

He knew what you meant.

He knew.

Ah,...

"T - the screen," Dante stuttered, his voice failing him as he felt that burning sensation in his eyes once more. And he hated it. " ... it's getting blurry! I should have it changed first thing in the morning - "

"STAY." You almost yelled, your cracking voice giving you away. "Please."

And Dante couldn't do anything.

"I - i'm sorry." The man cried. "I,... f - failed you! I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'm so sorry,..."

"No! You didn't! You did,... wonderfully. And you sound like I'm gonna leave you. That hurts."

"Aren't you?"

"Who told you?"

"Well,..."

You hummed as you bent and wrapped the man in your arms. "I'm not gonna leave you, Dante. I,... might be,... going somewhere,... but, my spirit will stay with you. I will continue to watch over you. I will stay with you,... for as long as it takes. I will never,... leave your side."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

The man felt your soft lips ghost the top of his head, and this only made him hold onto the fragile arms wrapped around him even tighter. He would cherish this moment, this very moment, for as long as he lived.

For as long as he breathed.

"Let's watch, Dante Sparda."

"Alright, (Y/N) (L/N)."

***

❤ @la-vita and @clevermentalitybeliever . ❤

***

A few hours earlier,...

"Where is he?" You asked, making your voice softer.

"Somewhere!" Nico answered. "He could see us right now. He could hear us."

You smiled. "If he could hear me, then,..." You cleared your throat and made your voice a bit louder despite your failing lungs. "Listen very carefully, V.

"I,... love you. I still do. And I missed you so much. So much it hurts. I still love you,… despite everything. I tried to get you out of my mind, to forget that I've known you. To forget that I have fallen deeply in love with you for the very short time we've been together. And it hurts,... so much,... to know that I will not be able to see you again, that I will not be able to talk to you again. That I will never hear your voice again as you read to me your favorite poems.

"If I could only go back in time, I would prevent all the pain and suffering from happening. I will tell you to run as far away as you can from that place. I don’t care what happens to Red Grave! I will,... save the both of us from that huge blunder. Maybe then, we could start all over again, to get to know each other again. Maybe we could take another shot at it.

"But, it is too late. I'm,... dying, V. Very soon, I will leave this world, and you will be left devastated. However, you have a wonderful life ahead of you. So,... go. Do everything that I told you: travel the whole world, watch all kinds of movies, eat popcorn and lots of junk food, go fishing and catch a boot, win the stuff tiger. See the world that your poems describe. Go,... and do all of those with the person you will love and cherish,... until the end.

"And I? I will stay with the person who gave me unconditional love. I will stay with the person who didn't give up on me despite everything. I will stay with him,... until my last breath.

"I will stay with Dante, until tonight when I close my eyes and enter eternal slumber.

"I love you, V. Now go,... and live a life you'll be proud of."

***

❤❤❤

***

[invisiblerhythmcat]

I've been thinking a lot about how much I seem to need external affirmation that I'm disabled

Like, I can't just own that wow, my brain works weird and my body hurts

First, it's the diagnosis affirmation

But getting a diagnosis is hard (see: basically every disabled person trying to get one), so then my brain redirects to trying to get a diagnosis and having that Quintessential Experience of attempting to get a doctor to take me seriously as the criteria

But, because I literally have too much anxiety to go to a doctor (see also: anxious breakdown about allergies) and also, just generally don't handle doctor's visits well (see also: I'm always miraculously fine the minute I walk into a doctor's office), I can't have that

So there's the, maybe I could get affirmation from other disabled people, which turns into some weird, fucked up trying to tell other people to see me while refusing to make myself visible because I don't think I have the right to be

Which then perpetuates the cycle of me assuming I'm not disabled, hating myself for it, and then desperately needing to understand that I am in order to take care of myself, while continuing to go "look at me functioning in daily life, how dare I call myself disabled and look for help"

And, of course, I judge myself for all of this. Why can't I just, you know, affirm myself?

And why do I need to call myself disabled when it makes no difference because, realistically, if I can't go to a doctor or get structural support, there are no actual benefits and actually a huge risk if I mention it to the wrong person?

Why am I tying myself up in a tangle because of things I can't do?

I don't really have any actual answers. I think a lot of it does come from an internal, unconscious desire to feel less horrible, even if I'm not always able to recognize or see it. I think there's a reason for my desires that's not just "I'm an annoying brat".

I think a lot of it comes down to how much it sucks to be invisible and how much I crave to be seen on my terms and how these are the ways my brain has pinpointed as how I can do that, even if those aren't actually all the options.

I think there's a lot to think about.

But, I think about third grade and crying because my wrists hurt so much I couldn't pick up a pencil, and, even then, I judged myself and assumed that I was doing it for attention (and my parents didn't really think it was a big deal). And, you know, if I was doing it for attention, that would make sense because I was being actively ostracized and isolated on a daily basis (and we can take about all the trauma from that time that's really fucked up).

But no adult around me gave me that attention i was seeking anyways. No one said "oh hmm, maybe there's a problem with your wrists". We all just waited it out to a point where I could ignore it. And when the pain came back in high school and I mentioned it again, a doctor threw a wrist brace at me and then there was never any follow up. And my wrists still hurt to this day and I still assume it's made up or unimportant or not worth worrying about.

So maybe I do need attention or maybe I would like my wrists to stop fucking hurting at random, unpredictable times or maybe I want both.

Maybe I just want to feel comfortable in my own body and I don't know how to do that yet.

[books-on-the-brain]

So I used to read a whole bunch, but then I took a small break so that I could have an actual social life. Now I'm trying to get back into it but I've tried to... I just can't get into it. Do you have any suggestions of what I could do to get back into wanting to read more?

bI relate to this SO. MUCH. It’s always hard to find a good reading/life balance, since reading can often be a very isolating activity. It’s also really difficult around this time of year for younger readers, too, since a lot of us are getting back into the swing of it with school and such and find that we have much less time to be reading what we want. So without further ado…

How I cure “reader’s block”/being in a book rut!!!

1) First of all, there’s literally no shame in reading something because it’s short and you know you can get through it, or reading something you might consider a “beach read.” If it’s less daunting for you to pick up a 70-page romance novella than Tolstoy that is perfectly!!! okay!!! What matters is that you’re still reading and it’s making you happy, not that you have gained all the answers to the universe by reading a dry and endless classic.

2) Another good option is to reread something you know you really love/want to revisit. I find it’s typically easier to read something for the second or third time and if it’s been a while, then you’ll still be surprised by little things here and there and get the warm nostalgia fuzzies. For me, one of my old favorites to revisit is Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. I always read it at the beginning of the summer when I’m switching from all academic reading to personal reading (f i n a l l y) because I’m familiar enough with the story that it goes pretty quickly, but I still really love it.

3) In a similar vein, I find it really fun when I don’t want to sit down and read seriously to go back to some of my old favorites from childhood! For example, I loved the Deltora books by Emily Rodda when I was a kid and had some fun the other day going back through some of them and reminiscing. It has the potential to remind you of your love for stories and also in my case, it reminded my why I fell in love with fantasy at a young age and why I’m still so passionate about it! Reading children’s/middle grade/YA books is always acceptable and so much fun at any age.

4) This Barnes and Noble Reader article also suggests reading about books if you can’t actually read a book. As they explain it, find book blogs (like those on tumblr!) that speak to your interests and get you excited about picking up books. Other people’s enthusiasm goes a long way in encouraging you to also pick up a book to read!

5) If you can, find other avid readers and friends who you feel comfortable sitting in silence with! One of my favorite memories ever is sitting on my friend’s back porch and trading the books of the KARE First Love manga series back and forth. We played peaceful music in the background and so we were spending time as friends AND getting reading done. This lead us to discuss our favorite scenes and how we felt about certain translations (literally just because we like how to guy asked the main girl out in the online scantalation better than the printed book rip). But we ended up really getting into this series that in all honesty is kind of silly (despite the soft spot I have in my heart for it) and we joke about it all the time. Reading and socializing in one!

6) And speaking of manga…it’s always a great bridge for getting back into reading when it’s been a while, as are graphic novels! If you haven’t ever tried manga or graphic novels and don’t think it’s your rap at least give them a chance! I thought I hated them until I read Fullmetal Alchemist and fell in l o v e! You’re getting a story and doing some reading, but the pictures really help to ease you in so that you’re not necessarily devoting the same attention that you would be with a novel that’s just pages of text. As such, each volume is pretty quick depending on how long you linger on the drawings. If you already do love manga/graphic novels, then try picking up a new series you’ve been interesting in or rereading a series you already know you like!

Here are some graphic novel recommendations!

Nimona by Noelle Stevenson (a story that does a fun take on the idea of the “bad guy” - it actually gave me way more feels than expected, and I loved the art style)

The new Ms. Marvel series written by G. Willow Wilson and illustrated by Adrian Alphona (so do not confuse this with the old Ms. Marvel, this one is better in my opinion because our hero is your average teenage Muslim girl living in Jersey City and it’s refreshing, amazing, adds diversity to the typically white/male dominated world of superheroes, and I am unabashedly in love with one of the main characters, Bruno)

Umbrella Academy written by Gerard Way and illustrated by Gabriel Ba (this does another more twisted/dark take on the idea of the superhero story, if that’s something more up your alley. It’s the first book of a series I’ve really been loving lately, plus I trust Gerard Way’s taste in comics unequivocally and he wrote it so that’s a yes in my book!)

American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang (the intertwining stories of an American-Chinese boy trying to figure out his place in the world and the Monkey King of Chinese fable)

I did not include a special section for manga recommendations because most of what I read is probably not the sort of stuff to dive into after having reader’s block. Overall, the realm of shoujo might be a good place to look (things like Skip Beat!, Blue Spring Ride, Fruits Basket, and Kimi ni Todoke. Ouran High School Host Club and Dengeki Daisy were ones I really enjoyed too.)I also recently read Orange which is a fairly short series and easy to read - I loved it but major depression/suicide/mental illness tws there.In terms of shonen, Hunter x Hunter would be a good one because not only is it amazing, but it’s broken up into shorter yet very distinct story arcs which I feel would be easier if you’re trying to get back into reading. If someone has some more recs tho, please add!

7) Another variation of manga/graphic novels is online webtoons, which are basically digitized comics. I have recently discovered them and think they’re the best. things. ever. If you’re like me and you have a horrible habit of lying in bed scrolling absently through your phone before going to bed and after waking up, this might be good for you. I have slowly been replacing my mindless Facebook scrolling with scrolling through webtoons, which has been so amazing for my mental health! My favorite app is literally just called Webtoon or maybe Line Webtoon (the icon in the app store is a green speech bubble that says “Webtoon”).

For most webtoons, chapters are generally pretty short so it doesn’t take a lot of focus but once again, you’re still reading, and you’re still getting a good story, all while laying fetal position like you might while scrolling through Facebook or texting people before bed. Not to mention you’re supporting amazingly talented artists/individuals who are oftentimes not published and doing this for fun or with the hopes of eventually being published, so you can say you followed them from the start! Also since they update only a few times a week, it gives you something to look forward to on random days.

Here are my favorite story-oriented webtoons currently:

Assassin Roommate by Monica Gallagher. Super cute and quirky romance with a great female lead, also really great in terms of body diversity, and LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON I LOOK FORWARD TO TUESDAYS, THE DREADFUL DAY AFTER MONDAY

My Dear Cold-Blooded King by limelight. Just started this but it seems pretty cool??? The author has paired up with a musician so all the chapters have music which is lit af if I do say so myself

Silk and Briar by paragoing-paragon. I think this is on hiatus but it’s shaping up to be a brilliantly-constructed fantasy story with some crazy twists and turns

instantmiso’s stuff is also really popular (Where Tangents Meet and Siren’s Lament). It’s not as much up my alley as it is pretty fluffy romance and I’m not crazy about the writing, but she is an incredibly talented artist and has great music with her chapters. Her stuff is super good for an easy read without a ton of brain power/commitment, but I say that with immense respect for her talent and abilities! 

Cheese in the Trap by soonkki. This was also made into a K-Drama so I read the series and threw a little watch-party with some of my friends from my Korean class! Super good series and another great way to enjoy reading AND be social!

Here are the webtoons that are more “Sunday newspaper funnies”               style, where each chapter is a mini story:

Bluechair by Shen (this is WILDLY popular and I totally see why!!! These are hilarious and have cheered me up on many a rough night!!!)

Sapphie: The One-Eyed Cat by joho (feel-good, cute comic about cats that’s also pretty funny. I shamelessly read like a hundred chapters in one sitting.)

If none of this is appealing to you, there is always the audio option! If the actual act of your eyes scanning the page is difficult because you can’t focus on anything, there are a lot of options in this realm!

8) Local libraries usually have an audiobook section that is deeply neglected, but holds some secret treasures! Whenever I go on roadtrips, I always pick up two or three before I head out. They’re also perfect for when you do mindless tasks like sorting/folding laundry, walking a dog if you have one, waiting in long lines, or on your commute to and from school or work or any other similar activities. 

What’s cool is you can search for audiobooks based both on books you actually want to read, and whoever is narrating it. I know Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz had a super popular audiobook because Lin Manuel Miranda narrated it. If you want to pay, Audible is one of the most popular paid platforms for audiobooks. I haven’t personally used it, but it seems to be quite successful. One way or another, audiobooks are a good way to get back into reading without having to budget extra time to sit down with a book.

9) Podcasts can also help if you haven’t already explored those and are open to! Not all podcasts are TED talks, or political debates, or generally academic, or whatever they are stereotyped as. There are a ton that feel just like audiobooks, or at the very least like a play without any visuals. There’s a script and there’s a story and I know it’s helped me ease back into a mindset that preps me for reading because much like audiobooks you can listen to them all the time (I do so while cooking dinner and walking to classes) and it helps your mind switch from reality to the world of a story with relative ease if that makes sense. I’m pretty new to podcasts myself so don’t have a ton to recommend, but here’s what I’ve been enjoying….

Podcasts to look into:

Anything written by Mac Rogers. That includes The Message, Afterlife, and Steal the Stars. Personally, I like Steal the Stars and The Message more that Afterlife. They’re all sci-fi stories that are generally told from one perspective but you get to know amazing characters and I was not expecting the twists and turns. And Steal the Stars is still coming out so jump on the bandwagon now lol

The Adventure Zone from Justin, Travis and Griffin McElroy at My Brother, My Brother and Me (another podcast which I have not listened to). The Adventure Zone is actually them playing Dungeons and Dragons, but they’re funny as all get out (the last place I lived had a communal kitchen for dozens of people and I was always laughing like and idiot while listening to this and making dinner and I’m pretty sure everyone thought I was nuts). Eventually the Dungeon Master gets super into the story telling and they script some of it with cool music. It’s really amazing and has a nice balance between story/characters but also the element of “real people” as they’re a bunch of brothers and they’re dad all just having fun. It’s a good bridge to getting back into reading.

Welcome to Nightvale is always a classic. It’s a bit trippy for me but tons of people enjoy it. The same team also produced a podcast called Alice Isn’t Dead. I honestly know nothing about it but one of my friends always raves about it, so it has his vote!

10) And okay so here’s my last suggestion. It might feel like a bit of a cop-out because I guess it kind of is, but it often works for me. So here it is. Sometimes it just helps to sit down and remember why you like to read in the first place. The fact that you’re actively trying to get back into it isn’t meaningless. It’s a very willful decision. So what is driving you? Maybe it’s because…

reading is an escape or a way for you to cope with difficult things in your life. This can be anything from mental illness, to school/work stress, to relationship dissatisfaction, difficult family or economic situations. Maybe you just are bored of our planet earth. Sometimes you might just need to be transported into another world for whatever reason and that is totally okay.

or reading inspires you to live your best life. Maybe there’s some character in a book you love that you look up to and aspire to be. Remember that passion you had when you were first getting to know that character, and that sense of being understood or finding a role model. Maybe you want to go on an adventure as wild as that character went on and that’s your idea of living your best life. Whatever the reason is, this sort of inspiration is a powerful emotion that books make us feel and sometimes that’s also a good reason to reread a book that’s inspired you.

and I don’t know, maybe you’re a writer yourself and you draw inspiration from reading in that sense. The more you read, the more you learn about what sort of writing you like and don’t like, and you grow stronger in your craft. Good readers help make good writers (but also don’t take that to mean that if you happen to be a writer and you’ve been in a book rut for a long time that you own skills are waning. we all get in book ruts and that’s okay. maybe it’s time to seek out a new source of inspiration in a different genre or new writer)

or perhaps you simply love stories. Maybe you breathe stories like other people breathe air and you can’t imagine that side of you not existing. If you’re one of these people, that makes reader’s block twice as hard. But that doesn’t mean that if you’re not turning pages that you’re not absorbing stories. Take it slowly and ease back into it with things I already mentioned like podcasts and webtoons.

One way or another, you’ll find your way back. Maybe this post will spark something. Maybe it won’t, and it will take another few months for you to really feel gungho about reading again. That’s all okay. Take your time. Enjoy being with friends and other activities. Do what’s healthiest and what works best for you. And eventually you’ll get back to reading a ton. However it happens, I wish you the best of luck!