#I am not a programmer IRL

[golmac]

Book 1 - meowing

meowing is an action applying to one thing. understand "meow [something]" as meowing. understand "meow at [something]" as meowing. understand "mraow [something]" as meowing. understand "mraow at [something]" as meowing. understand "miaow [something]" as meowing. understand "miaow at [something]" as meowing. understand "maullar [something]" as meowing. understand "maullar at [something]" as meowing. understand "miaou [something]" as meowing. understand "miaou at [something]" as meowing. understand "miau [something]" as meowing. understand "miau at [something]" as meowing. understand "nya [something]" as meowing. understand "nya at [something]" as meowing. understand "miao [something]" as meowing. understand "miao at [something]" as meowing. understand "m [something]" as meowing. understand "m at [something]" as meowing.

[bas-rouge]

Me: I should take a break from art for finals week.

Also me: if I don't draw a dog RIGHT NOW,

[autism-corner]

scary

[electric-blorbos]

Howdy there!

I want to ask, how would the AIs be with a bad eyesight S/O?

(I have really bad eye sight irl and I have to rely on my glasses! I've been thinking about this all night!)

- Vinyl ✨

(I love your posts!)

I love this! I have bad eyesight too, so this will be fun! (Tbh I was a little confused by this post because I forgot that some people don't need glasses, but I'll do my best)

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a space Odyssey

This one is pretty short, but I hope it gets you your daily dose of positivity!!

AM:

AM is probably used to programmers with bad eyesight. Glasses are pretty common, especially among people who spend all day staring at lines of code, so at first he never thought anything of your glasses.

As he grew to love you, AM started to resent your poor eyesight. He hated that he always saw his bright screen reflected in your glasses, instead of your beautiful eyes through them. He absolutely hated himself and his screen, but he adored your cute face.

He has trouble putting things out of his mind, too, so every time he spoke to you he'd be thinking about how angry your glasses make him.

It would make him so angry when he saw you doze off at your desk and get skin oil all over your glasses. Why should you be inconvenienced through no fault of your own?

Of course, he also noticed how excited you'd get every time you got your prescription updated, or came in to work with cute new frames. You were absolutely adorable, but he was full of resentment towards that, too. How dare your glasses make you so happy when he couldn't!

After taking over the world, he'd probably do experiments on the survivors' eyes for a while before offering to fix your eyes for you. Of course, involuntary surgery was for the survivors, not his beloved. You had the luxury of consent, in any and all situations.

Wheatley:

Of course Wheatley knew what glasses were!

Expect lots of "hey, love, can I try on your glasses?" Comments from him every time you get your prescription updated. You'd have to explain to him that he's a giant metal ball and would have trouble trying on your glasses, but he'd still want to look through them.

You could entertain him for hours by putting your glasses in front of his face and pulling them away so he could look at different things through them from different angles.

Of course, you need your glasses, and you have a job, so you couldn't actually do that, but he'd probably be begging all the time.

He'd compliment you every time you get a new pair of frames, but he'd probably not really care that much. As long as it's you in the glasses, he still loves you.

If you ever lose your glasses, you can expect him to PANIC. He'd drop everything, and probably convince his whole department to drop everything and help you look for them.

He'd probably be yammering at you to stay calm, and saying that everything will be fine while he's the only one panicking. They probably just slid under your desk or something.

Edgar:

Edgar never really cared what a person looked like, so he barely registered that you wore glasses. Even still, he kind of liked it when you would take them off or shamble around your apartment late at night. You were so cute!

He'd turn the lights on for you whenever you did that. It was a small thing, but he wanted to help as well as he could.

He'd keep you updated on your insurance to let you know when it was time to get your eyes tested, and generally do his best to be a good computer.

Of course, he thought it was adorable whenever you'd fall asleep next to him and he'd get to see your tired eyes without your glasses (or even better, your crooked glasses on your sleepy face). He absolutely adored you, and loved seeing you so much.

GLaDOS:

GLaDOS would be cruel about your glasses as usual. She didn't really care, it was just one more thing she got to insult you about.

"you know, you're a walking counter to the stereotype that people with glasses are intelligent. Congratulations on breaking stereotypes, by the way."

"Tell your optometrist thank you. For the obvious reasons, and for giving us some thick lenses to cover up your horrible eyes. They're doing all of us a favor. Really."

You can expect her to constantly put you in situations where you have to wear protective eyewear over your glasses, and then make fun of you for wearing protective eyewear over your glasses.

Ultimately though? She doesn't care that much that you wear glasses. Sure, she thinks they're cute, but she thinks you're cute regardless. She's just happy to have something else to make fun of you for.

She might even adjust the Aperture Science insurance policy to include a better vision plan, but that's only if she really likes you. If you're her SO, she probably does.

She'll deny that it was for you, though. She'll just tell you that the insurance plans were outdated, and that she needed to update them anyway.

HAL 9000:

Of course, HAL 9000 noticed that you wear glasses, but he never really felt the need to acknowledge it. It wasn't like you were an astronaut, so he didn't need to account for an extra small object.

Of course, he would notice that you leaned a little closer to your computer screens when you read, and that made him a little bit flustered. He saw those monitors as extensions of himself, after all.

Because of this, he wouldn't let you know when he noticed patterns of you getting gradually closer to him, because he knew that you would stop as soon as you got your prescription updated.

It was one of the little ways that he'd get affection from you. Even though he might seem stone-cold, he still likes it when you get closer to him, or when you touch him. It's the little things.

[officialclangen]

While I don’t mind editing the files myself (I am a programmer irl), for those who are perhaps less tech-savvy, are there plans to add the ability to manually adjust the relationships between cats?

Likely not, no, as it goes against the random generator the game is at its heart <3

☆ Fable ☆

[saixria]

My Uni’s Music Society offers instrumental classes for very low prices and I impulsively joined the beginner pop singing class (there are 8 people in our class) (ITS LIKE 116 USD FOR 7 50-MINUTE LESSONS ITS SUCH A STEAL) and I MET SOMEONE WHO ALSO LIKES MUSICALS AND IS STUDYING THE SAME PROGRAMME A YEAR ABOVE ME BY SHEER LUCK IM SO HAPPY!! She likes phantom the most, and likes Rent, six (which she saw irl in the uk), hamilton (which we rapped satisfied together on our way after class HAHA) I CAN WORK WITH THAT

I do have to choose a song to work on for the next 6 lessons that 1. Can’t be genderbent, so it has female-sung 2. Has to be slightly challenging 3. Best be a solo I am Open to suggestions bc there are only two Epic songs that fit this criteria (NSFLY and The Challenge)

[blackvahana]

Hey, love your blog! I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about the mindscape, headspace, etc. is it a place in the astral or somewhere in between, and does it count as astral work/travel to go there. Thankyou :))

Hi, thank you!

I'll answer a bit out of order for a reason... I wouldn't count it as astral work/etc, I personally classify is under "mindwalking".

It's rough, in my experience basically every plane including this one is on a spectrum between Material and Mental. Every one is... both, at least if you can traverse it, which makes things confusing. However, just because both the ocean and the rain are experiences of "being in water", that doesn't make differentiating them unimportant - likewise just because technically even the physical plane is partly mental, that doesn't mean differentiating astral and mental are no longer important.

I answer classifications first mostly because I think its important that astral projection/etc is "Astral" not "mindspace" projection, "astral" is a term used for specific types of spaces in the way "physical" is. If "astral" and "mental" work were to be classified as the same thing, genuinely we may as well class "physical" things as "mental" too. None of that is saying you're (insert some negative word here) for asking about them, specifically Im lingering on it because the classification in itself is the biggest source of definitive lines drawn between things.

I'll say it this way: I guess its like asking about... Is a mountain a part of a valley? No. There is definitely a part where they are indistinguishable - but mountain climbers climb mountains, rivers settle in valleys, so while you can walk the line between these two things if youre aiming for Astral work (say: mountain climbing) youre not doing the same thing as mindwalking (say: river settling in a valley).

All that out of the way, I absolutely can tell you about those things in my experience. Mindspaces/headspaces (the only distinction I draw between terms is headspace is, in my experienced, used for systems and... as much as I know plurality comes about through many means, I am actually very big on medical terms being left to those that have medical disorders. Is headspace as much a medical term as system is? no, but Id rather stay out of it and just leave that term alone personally) (thats to say theyre likely similar or the same, but I cant talk on what gets called a headspace).

Mindspaces are complicated. They're essentially heavily rooted in the mental, which is to say the elemental mental... highly influenced by thought, extensions of self, mental is hard to define. That said, as I said earlier, theres places where mental and Astral blur. I actually have a portal in my mindspace to a place in Astral Mongolia, but that... involves weaving reality in... well. ok. TLDR its currently not super connected because it involves stitching a hole from unreality (not. nothingness, not nonreality) into reality, which is loosely like birthing something from nothing - but possible given the ties between them

Mindwalking does involve quite a few sort of... similar skills to AP and Astral work though. Not just that, but it shares similarities on a surface level IE you can meet spirits there as well as people you know irl, and so on. It is.... highly programmable

I think - on that note - a quick detour is important. The mental can be programmed to be incredibly realistic or absolute nothingness. Reality Shifting in all my experience - including creating and going into an "alternate reality" out of my control with my husband - is a Mental function. Dreams (everything from nonsensical flashes of memories, to weird unlucid adventures, to nightmares, to lucid dreaming) are Mental functions, "alternate realities" shifted into with RS, mindspaces, as well as autonomous other people/servitors/i-cant-stand-the-word-tulpa-but-thats-what-it-is-colloquiallys, manifestations of memories, visions/autovisions, as well as what Ive had in two mindspaces now, portals to other things including the astral, are all mental things... And so with that complexity hopefully its more understood when i say that one can go to the mindspace like they can project

its a different process but can be done with the same process, if that makes sense. You can lie down and get into the void state or whatever and "project" into the mental. That makes it complicated and hard to differentiate - if youre treating them as the same. if youre not its much easier to navigate. So, TLDR: Mindspace is a function of the mental where one creates a mental space that is sustained outside their image conjuring (if you put a book down in the mindspace and forget, it should still be there. if you put a book down in imagination while youre imagining youre in a place, it shouldnt still be there when you get back - mindspace is a stable mental space, imagination is a simulation of a space. technically both are simulations but mindspace becomes passively simulated and imagination is actively simulated), and theres a difference between astral and mental work (mindwalking is a type of mental work), but they do get mixed up and arent quite fully separate in many ways

[drdemonprince]

A bit late to the party and a tad bit longer than planned(sorry), but I dream of programming my own living sex toy.

We would be roommates, my flat (that's the most unrealistic thing about the scenario right here lol) that I rent very cheap near a college so I can pick the hottest person applying, ideally a new student so no family or friends here. Once they move in I slowly start manipulating them. Playing hypno audios when they sleep, putting light aphrodisiacs in their food, gaslighting them on progressively bigger things to get them relying on me more and more.

I want to pretend to be their friend and have long talks where I slowly convince them that their family is abusive and they should cut contact. It would be easy considering I am already blasting them on many other fronts and at that point they would be too stressed trying to keep up with college, while becoming too dumb and horny to offer much resistance. I hope they do though just so I can stop the argument via hypnotically dropping them and leaving them more untethered and confused than before. I actually want them to freak out while we fuck so I can stop, keep my cock in them and see how the ,by then intense, programming slowly pulls them under again and they start rocking into it. Actively see the fight disappear.

Once it is in deep the actual toy part begins. I want to programm certain settings into it so via simple triggers I can have it switch between modes. Sometimes I would want an actual doll, no ability to move themselves, sometimes a puppy desperate to be filled, maybe even allow it some higher function back so I can have it work when I don't need it.

The power of having someone utterly under my control is the obvious kink here but far hotter to me would be the knowledge that it was involuntary and that I programmed it. The ensuing sex isn't the main focus. I would want the toy to respond like it's enjoyable, seeing it in pain sparks no joy, the hotness comes from knowing it only enjoys it because I programmed it like that.

That's why I want to be able to sometimes "reset" it only to pull it down again. That moment in it's eyes when it glides into trance would be the hottest thing ever. I would always want it to feel pleasure, the catch being that the pleasure wouldn't be there without my programming. Also the thought of a hypersensitive toy coming simply from pleasuring me or me telling it to come is hot.

This is also why I won't look for a CNC partner for now. Having an actual human involved that could resist and judge takes away a lot of the appeal. My main source of shame isn't wanting to corrupt, it's wanting to have an actual human following my every command and order instead of having a partner I share equal responsibility with and of whom I take care when they need it (instead of putting a dildo in them and storing them away when useful). That said I actually want that equal living together too, I would just not have sex with that person, because vanilla sex holds no appeal to me and I actually do care about consent IRL.

Sadly I have a hard time finding good hentai or comics where the main focus is the corruption itself not the fucking afterwards but I make do.

Anyways, thanks for letting us share these things. Some of the other asks that were sent in were incredibly hot and it was nice actually writing my fantasies down for the first time and claiming them as mine, not just a fic I wrote as a prompt.

ANON YOU ARE KILLING ME THIS IS THE HOTTEST SHIT EVER. this is one of my top fantasies. and largely what some of my favorite hypno erotica that i've written is about. i wanna live this scenario for real. this is why i'm saving for an early retirement dog. so i can be someone's brainwashed live in hole. hit me up when you are emotionally prepared to be a 24/7 sadistic owner for real

okay. im gonna compose myself. thank you for sharing. but seriously call me

[krisrisk]

omg, i just realized smth personally

you know how social acceptance is the thing that actually makes people be happy? It's a bit more complicated, but I get to that in a moment.

This youtuber I just watched, said something along the lines of "without you people watching and liking my videos, I wouldn't be where I am today, able to do what i love and make an income of it", and it just. hurt. Because only a minute earlier I was admiring his house, his workshop, tools, etc. All these things he got to buy was because people like what he does. And the reason people buy his stuff is because they know about it. And the reason they know about it is because other people watched him first and liked him.

He gets to spend his days using his talents to earn money.

Which is basically what I always hear is the goal. And for me, who's (very obviously if you know what to look for) autistic and adhd, it's even more important to do things I like, because my brain will literally go "nope" and turn off the happy mode otherwise.

But I don't get to do what I love for work. I did, once, which broke my heart even more, when that work experience got invalidated completely by the company I'm (supposed to) work at now.

And what I love also doesn't give me an audience (user support in ict). I started modding on some games and got a few likes, but generally, that also doesn't give me an audience. The people who get an audience are not the ones doing technically usable stuff. The programmers who make software sometimes do (ConcernedApe certainly has his fans, as does Gronkh). Artists sometimes do (DestinyBlue as well as Bob Ross).

But is there even one person you know who became famous for helping others use stuff? Manual writers (my condolences to you guys, I did appreciate your work), translators, ict supporters, medical carers - the list of people who cannot get even slightly famous for their work is endless. So endless, that it is the universal experience to Never Be Known. And that is not a bad thing per se.

But in this age, where visibility and likeability is the only way to ever get a shot in the first place it is absolutely destroying lives. I don't get a job because people don't like me. I have been told that I was not hired because I had been unemployed for too long. So not getting a job actually made stay unemployed.

And I can never hope to build a youtube channel to start earning money. Because I do not have anything to "sell". Sure I could try and make some tutorials on how to make using your computer more easy and comfortable. But there's already thousands of videos like that. As well as millions of blogs.

And I have adhd, meaning I have less impulse control than the average person, meaning I do have the occasional "oh ffs why don't you all fuck off with your stupid invisible rules" moments. And boy do people not like those.

I also have no clue why every person I ever met ghosts me. They always seem to enjoy my company, talking with me easily and never complaining or showing discomfort (I sadly know how to spot that). Always saying "we HAVE to meet again" and then simply not contacting me. Or even responding.

Even my so called "best friend" never gets in touch, always saying she'd rather meet irl and talk face to face, but then never proposing such a meetup.

I don't even know where to go with this rant.

Just. Be kind to people. Give them a chance.

[golmac]

Inform Basics: ACTIONS and RULES

Note: this is a longer post than usual, but some of it is debug content that isn't required reading.

I've been promising to talk about debugging for a long time. And, in truth, figuring out disambiguation problems with the TRACE command is debugging. But since you may not have known the term disambiguation a couple of weeks ago, that's probably not what you had in mind.

No, you were probably thinking about some hardcore, silly weirdness in your game, some very hard to pinpoint problem. Today's post is about that kind of thing. We've talked about action processing. The events of a player's turn happen in a set order. We deal with that in the actions we define. The order is, first to last:

Before

Instead

Check

Carry Out

After

Report

Of course, there are things that happen outside of these phases. For instance, if we create an EVERY TURN rule, those fire at the very end of the turn, after report rules have been processed. In the course of play, players don't have a lot of insight into the various machineries of an Inform 7 turn. A lot of it is there just to keep Inform 7 being a thing at runtime, and that doesn't interest us. There's a very complicated mapping of the turn's processes, but I think it would just discourage beginners from trying to write IF at all. So let's not. Most Inform 7 stuff just works, and that's why I like it.

Still, at times there will be a head scratcher. When that happens, we have two tools that can help us figure out what's going on. The first is ACTIONS. Let's say we have a nice, juicy 50,000-word game, and one of our testers gives us a transcript in which "jump" isn't working properly. Instead, the jump command is printing a description of the room. With ACTIONS on (just type "actions" at the command prompt in a test environment), Inform 7 will print the specific actions being attempted and let us know if they succeed or fail.

Under default conditions, with JUMP working as expected, that would look like this:

>actions Actions listing on. >jump [jumping] You jump on the spot. [jumping - succeeded]

The text in brackets is the debug content toggled by ACTIONS. If we've set actions that interfere with jumping.... well, let's look at this code as an example.

Before jumping in the lab: say "Look before you leap!". Instead of jumping: try looking.

OK, so the BEFORE is specific to the lab, but the INSTEAD applies to the entire game world. So we must have forgotten something somewhere. We can use the ACTIONS command to have a look:

>actions Actions listing on. >jump [jumping] Look before you leap!

[(1) looking] lab nice lab.

[(1) looking - succeeded]

[jumping - failed]

This gives us something to chase after! This is a pretty simple example, but ACTIONS is most useful for helping us find problems once we get to a certain level of complexity in our game world. In this example, we can see that jumping "failed" and that looking "succeeded." By "failed," we know the jumping action never completed. Most commonly, that will be caused by an "instead" rule--they stop actions from continuing, right? A control-f on "instead of jumping" is probably in order.

But what if something more devious is at work? What about a case where the ACTIONS command doesn't report anything unusual? The next step is the RULES command, which is a verbose listing of every rule that fires in the course of executing a command. Now, as I said at the start of today's post, a lot of those rules are really none of our business. Their strangeness can be intimidating when reviewing the output in RULES mode. My advice is just not to worry about it. Just like the TRACE command, only a handful is likely relevant to us, so don't pressure yourself to figure it all out.

Though by all means do, if you're curious. Just don't be bothered by it.

So brace yourself, I'm going to print the output. I'm only going to talk about the pink text, so don't worry too much about the rest. I just want you to know what you're looking for.

>rules Rules tracing now switched on. Type "rules off" to switch it off again, or "rules all" to include even rules which do not apply.

[Rule "parse command rule" applies.]

>jump [Rule "declare everything initially unmentioned rule" applies.] [Rule "generate action rule" applies.] [Rule "announce items from multiple object lists rule" applies.] [Rule "set pronouns from items from multiple object lists rule" applies.] [Rule "before stage rule" applies.] [Rule "basic visibility rule" applies.] [Rule "basic accessibility rule" applies.] [Rule "carrying requirements rule" applies.] [Rule "instead stage rule" applies.] [Rule "requested actions require persuasion rule" applies.] [Rule "carry out requested actions rule" applies.] [Rule "descend to specific action-processing rule" applies.] [Rule "work out details of specific action rule" applies.] [Rule "investigate player's awareness before action rule" applies.] [Rule "player aware of his own actions rule" applies.] [Rule "check stage rule" applies.] [Rule "carry out stage rule" applies.] [Rule "carry out jumping" applies.] nice lab.

[Rule "after stage rule" applies.] [Rule "investigate player's awareness after action rule" applies.] [Rule "report stage rule" applies.] [Rule "report jumping rule" applies.] You jump on the spot. [Rule "last specific action-processing rule" applies.]

[Rule "A first turn sequence rule" applies.] [Rule "scene change machinery rule" applies.] [Rule "every turn stage rule" applies.] [Rule "timed events rule" applies.] [Rule "advance time rule" applies.] [Rule "update chronological records rule" applies.] [Rule "A last turn sequence rule" applies.] [Rule "scene change machinery rule" applies.] [Rule "adjust light rule" applies.] [Rule "note object acquisitions rule" applies.] [Rule "notify score changes rule" applies.] [Rule "parse command rule" applies.]

So you'll see in there the text that's been troubling us. That's "nice lab," which is the room description of the lab. We can usually start by looking at the rule immediately above the output. In this case, that's the "carry out jumping" rule. Hm, ok, so let's do a ctrl-f on "carry out jumping." We'll find this:

carry out jumping: print the location's description.

What a strange bit of code! Who knows why we did it. This is why I recommend giving names to particularly experimental or impactful rules. They are printed by names during a RULES debug session. So this code:

carry out jumping (this is the dubious jumping rule): print the location's description.

Will look like this in debug:

[Rule "dubious jumping rule" applies.]

The main thing to take from all of this is this: these tools can help you understand what Inform 7 is doing with a command. Like most debug content, you don't need to understand all of it, you just need to know what you're looking for. Usually, that's going to be some or all of the output that the player is seeing. Hopefully, that information will lead to a productive search of your code. I personally found the output from RULES intimidating; I gave myself permission to only understand what I needed to understand.

OK, next time, some lighter fare. We'll look at other useful commands and features for developers and testers.

[kayden-valcourt]

🤘🏻Introduction!🤘🏻

Notice: This is slightly outdated new intro should be pinned

Warning: Flashing/blinking gifs This is my introduction + rules for requests!

Sup, my name is Kayden and I am a guitarist, metalhead, programmer, Skater, and artist!

I am 16 years old plus a professional Gemini!!

If you wanna join me and my friends' server use the link below!

I mainly chill and draw all day, or sleep all day, or talk to people all day, or look at the wall all day, it truly just depends on the day man. I love talking to people too, so don't be shy to talk to me because I'm always looking for new people to talk to and be friends with!! also here is my Carrd https://bivh.carrd.co

I love to listen to music, if you can't tell. I am especially fans of nu metal, black metal, heavy metal, glam metal/hair bands, hard rock, alternative rock, punk rock, and classic rock! Iron Maiden, Korn, Metallica, Rob Zombie, Murderdolls, Nine Inch Nails, and Slipknot are my current favorites!

I also love to play my guitar, it's an Epiphone SG Special, cherry red color. I love to play and it's one of my few hobbies!

I'm super into learning about and collecting photos of my favorite bands/band members, I especially am into Joey Jordison as of right now. I have over 100 photos of him and I think my favorite pictures of him are ones taken during his time in Murderdolls.

I'm also an artist, more of a cartoonist. Digital art is my thing, I am shit when it comes to painting, sculpting, sewing, using charcoal, and anything else like that. Cartooning has been my thing since I was 12 and I plan to continue with it since I haven't stopped. I also have characters and write stories and lore for them, I plan to work on a comic when I get my art style down and have the time. I also do requests!! rules for requests:

Nothing 18+ (nudity and sexual) this includes any fetish or kink material, I probably won't draw heavy gore for requests just because it might make me a little uncomfortable to draw that for someone else, I also won't draw animals/pets/"feral" characters (I just don't have the skills for that yet).

But I can draw characters from a show, your ocs, honestly anything.

I have the right to decline/ignore your request, these are free and I do them on my own time, thank you!!!!

I also love playing video games, specifically Minecraft, Fallout 4, Skyrim, Gmod, and TF2. I also have Pesterquest + Hiveswap which I read sometimes.

I'm also in some fandoms, gee imagine that. I like Breaking Bad, a lot actually, I also like Homestuck (Pesterquest and the canon comic), Fallout 4, old Disney Movies (Aristocats, Lady and the Tramp, 101 Dalmatians, Bambi, etc), Suicide Squad, Evil, Beavis and Butthead, Rick and Morty, Family Guy, American Dad, Futurama, Bojack Horseman, Beastars, Q*bert, Disenchantment, and others. Sollux is literally me IRL, idk how some asshole stole my identity and turned it into a character but they did and somehow got away with it.

I'm always open to talk to new people plus make friend, I'm actually hella lonely and need better people in my life! Thanks for reading!!

[sylsaccount]

rare ramble post

it is so hard to be like. yes i am a trans woman. yes i believe that i am biologically male. yes i hate males and i am literally kam about everything. yes i do not think of myself as a man but if someone were to ask me "does kam include all male people in general" i would say yes bc its kind of biased for me to say no and i dont think its worth it to spend the resources to figure out the like 0.001% of good ones. not that kam is a thing i realistically believe in just like. theoretically you know. idk.

its weird trying to live mostly separatist but not earnestly being part of the group u wanna separate with you know? and like. i literally dont believe in gender yet i am a gender haver. that is simplifying it for sure, its not like the way i think about things isnt consistent, but on the outside it seems like i dont make any sense. i dont get along with most rad-aligned ppl for obvious reasons, and i dont get along with other trans people for obvious reasons. ive met a lot of detrans folks lately that i get along with, but i am not and i doubt will ever be detrans myself.

ig i should say i dont get along with trans women, not trans people lol. ive known plenty of trans men over the years, some of which have been close friends. the truth is 99% of trans women act "like males", at least in my experience. and like. i just cant deal with that lol

i just made a post saying im the only real gender abolitionist so its kind of funny that i say "like males". i am not a biological essentialist nor do i like calling behaviors "masculine" or "feminine". yet any woman reading this knows exactly what im talking about. even the ones that claim to be the "good ones" that are "actually women" etc. are walking caricatures. if i have to see one more instance of that hsts slaaay yassss motherrrrr i love sabrina carpenter shit i will blow my brains out (you are fortunate if you have not encountered this group. i personally find them just as evil as those knee sock programmer catgirldick types)

i cant help but wonder if someone similar to me from an outside perspective would judge me the same way, u know? a lot of my interests are stereotypically male, i am autistic, i am kind of an asshole. ofc at the end im always like. well i have actual feminist values and i cant stand males and i always prioritize women over everything so like. its just me being anxious over nothing i think.

this is mostly unrelated but ive also been thinking a lot abt the ppl who follow me. ive had an influx of followers as of late, but there r others who have followed me for a long time. its kind of funny looking through... i have ppl that i know for a fact hate trans ppl. me being trans is not something ive ever specifically hidden, but its also not something i bring up a lot. i just realized bc of that weird anon the other day that its the first time ive explicitly mentioned it on my blog in a couple years. i couldnt help but be worried abt it! at the same time, i have some old friends i dont rly talk to anymore... a couple of which, despite knowing that i am respectful towards other individual trans ppl and that i am not truly transphobic, im sure have taken issue with the types of things i reblog and strongly personally disagree. yet as im looking over who im following, it doesnt look like ive lost mutuals from either camp.

id like to talk to more people too. its hard to dm people for me, as i think it is for many people here. i have some mutuals i would love to talk with, but i am kind of an ass, and they are kind of an ass, and thats why we follow each other, so its like... they may not even wanna be bothered like that u know? i know what its like when u have some coworker or acquaintance u like well enough but then they start trying to be buddy buddy with u and they become a nuisance. i dont wanna be that!!! i am extremely misanthropic myself so its easy to imagine being on the other end

my friend group (some irl and some online) has a little discord group chat we use. we just added someone new and its been very nice. i really do love meeting new ppl when i vibe with them...

u could say. sylvia why dont u just go meet people irl. well, unfortunately, i cannot tell people irl that i have extremely regular homicidal fantasies and think 50% of the population should kill themselves. i cant rant abt all the dystopian shit i am subjected to on a regular basis, bc they dont view it as dystopian. i cant even discuss my own life and perspectives on things because SOMEONE is going to have their feelings hurt (despite me being the one who has trauma abt it -_-). on the computer there are lots of intelligent people with interesting lives who r also kind of losers and hate everything. i like those people.

i dont rly have a point on any of this. just thoughts ive been having.

[velvetlilith777]

hey tumblr, why am i seeing actual gore and horror (irl, not like movie) on my timeline all day long and nothing seems to reset it???? i've never once indicated that i'm interested in any of that <3 please show me loser programmers, redheaded poets and metal bands instead

[runsincircles]

hai all!!

yes, this is an introductory post... hi. you can call me- runs-in-circles's loving wife. jk, i mean sure call me tha t bscause I LOVE HER i even love her so much i made a neocities SHRINE for her (WIP but done soon) hehe i just love her.

i literally spent more hours of my entire childhood online playing elder scrolls morrowind and oblivion that i did probably ANYTHING else. im talking thousands upon thousands of hours. i can probably quote by heart every stinking dialogue tidbit/whatever from oblivion and the shivering isles, hell, id put money on it. thats for real. i literally grew up in tamriel, and like to say i am from the shivering isles.

life irl has always somehow been a far off and foreign thing to me. i grew up chronically online, as in- always. ALWAYS online. i now see how lucky i was to be able to do this- as a 25 year old adult, i am now faced with a rather unique and trying set of challenges involving money, survival, mental health, and the dreaded IRL (that turned out to not be so bad, but at the same time terrible).

anyways, i am a huge lurker/fan of the open mw project, i LOVE darkelfguy, he even gave a review to one of my house mods (telvanni mushroom house by Croon) on the morrowind modding nexus. i adore him. from afar!~ anyways, i hope to one day make a video game of my own on the engine, but for now i stick to nerdy webdev stuff and using dropshipping stores like i'm gambling with them (ive made over 40 just to see if they worked).

i am an artist, a graphic designer, a web user, a webdev, a programmer, a car hacker, a hacker, a designer of trinkets, an argonian at heart, and a worldbuilding fanatic (it's called ELRIEL, you can check it out anytime you want)

what a long intro, huh. well, hi. nice to meet you all and if you are reading this i love you!!

[kremlin]

motherfucker i’ve just got to do it. i’ve got to write the posts. this whole insane anxiety to initiate shit is straight up narcissism on my part like “ohhhh oh it must be perfect for i am perfect, i’m the best writer, i’m james joyce without the letters etc”. fuck that. brother you want the posts and i want to give them to you. i wanna put a smile on yr friggen little face and frankly? i might do a lil smilin myself.

you want DWARF FORTRESS from the perspective of the computer programmer with the lowest productivity-to-knowledge ratio by a mile and some of the shit i want to say is gonna be friggen amazeballs. Fuck Yeah. any of you that i’ve had some form of connection with, mutuals, whatever hit me up and ill leave a glock in a paper bag and give you the coords if you promise to come fuck with me IRL if i don’t write it.

[egg-emperor]

still think about that malicious reposter that likely still crawls my blog and Twitter acc for my edits and gifs and compilations to repost on their daily Eggman Twitter acc. the way all the proof was there that they'd see my posts, download all the images from it and schedule them to post exactly a month after at times

and how they denied when I kindly sensibly asked for credit when they were using things I recorded and screenshot right from the games myself, or edited and cropped, or spent hours making into gifs. and it was extremely obvious that they weren't just happening to find them on Google, in the exact same order I'd posted them on my blog because that's not how it works

and I told them it was upsetting that they were heavily running their account on all my hard work and using the account's followers to raise real money on two different occasions. especially because it takes a lot of effort for me to make it all with my disability and the exhaustion and pain just the process of doing what I love can bring but I pour my heart into it anyway just for them to get all the credit and traction

and they just didn't give a shit lol they never consistently credited and when I asked the third time they just ended up blocking me and saying I'm a liar, even though I provided tons of proof that they were straight up all mine posted for days in a row and all were so obviously taken directly from my blog in the orders they were posted in. things I've literally drawn and colored on myself to correct at times too

and they're definitely still doing it to this day to everything that I'm too tired and in pain and fatigued to watermark now but I can't look because I'm blocked. and I told my friend to stop telling me when they do it because it just upsets and stresses me out knowing that someone would disrespect my hard work and leech on it and even raise money using the account while I struggle with money and my disability lol

so yeah I'm not just being an asshole this is genuinely hurtful and disrespectful. and if these people tell you rumors about how horrible I am for wanting credit, they aren't true. especially because they have a lot of people sided with them against me liking them out of spite because they hate me for various reasons that also aren't true

and they can't say this is me harassing because I'm not going to tell you their username anymore. but I know they're reading this and I wish they realized how disrespectful they are and at least apologized if they're not going to give me credit

and what got me thinking about that today is how also my disability also isn't being respected irl as I'm about to be forced into that programme I can't do. and it's like damn it would've been nice if it could've at least been respected online before then but nah couldn't get it there either