Thoughts on the character motivations of secret relationships in AU fanfics...
I've been reading a lot of fanfiction, a lot of AU fanfiction, and something I've seen a few times now is Aziraphale wanting to keep his relationship with Crowley secret because it could potentially jeopardize his career if people knew. (Usually he's in the closet, but maybe there's something about Crowley specifically that makes it scandalous (or both).) This invariably leads to angst until Aziraphale decides to come out after all, and then they live out and proud together, happily ever after. Which, great! But—
I've just realized why this trope kind of bothers me: It isn't true to Aziraphale's character.
Because wanting to stay in heaven's good books isn't his primary motivation for keeping his friendship with Crowley a secret. I mean sure, obviously he doesn't want them to know, but his bigger worry has always been for Crowley and his safety. What if his side found out?
Look at him in the Globe scene, looking at Crowley with such fear: "If Hell finds out...they'll destroy you."
That the secrecy is all just to keep his own public persona clean? No, it doesn't fit.
I have my quibbles with Shotgun Wedding, but this is something it got right, that the relationship is a danger to both their careers, and more to Crowley's than Aziraphale's.
Tangentially, another fic I was reading got me thinking about Crowley's role in this setup. Usually there's strife due to Crowley not being okay with being Aziraphale's dirty secret (which tbf is a legit understandable stance, and a great catalyst for Aziraphale's journey to self-acceptance), but in this one, while Aziraphale had the thing thinking that being with Crowley would ruin his career, Crowley's role was subverted. Instead of Crowley stepping away, Aziraphale pushed him away, assuming Crowley wouldn't want to be his secret, that it wouldn't be fair to him. Until eventually, Crowley snaps, calls him an idiot, and that he doesn't care if Aziraphale is in the closet or not! That he's okay with being Aziraphale's secret. (I hesitate to name the fic because this is a spoiler for the climactic revelations in it, but it is on my fanfic master rec list and if you like I'll tell you in DM.)
That blew my mind. It was so opposite to the other characterizations and yet felt so right for Crowley. He never cared that he had to see Aziraphale on the DL, so long as he got to see him, and he wouldn't dream of trying to make Aziraphale compromise his standing for his sake. "I'm not going to tell anybody. Are you?"
Anyway, all this to say that while I understand the plot setup and why it's used, looking past the surface level, it doesn't actually fit for either of these characters.
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Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...
I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character.
So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)
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SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?
(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)
Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?
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I wonder what it is about Instagram that intimidates me so much. Especially in regards to posting artwork or utilizing any form of interaction on there. The whole site just feels completely exhausting, overstimulating, and not to mention arduous. More and more, I feel less and less good every time I open that app, which kind of sucks because I feel like it is kind of the most obligatory platform in order to stay connected with most people, especially at an industry level, if that makes sense. It just is so unenjoyable to me. Even though I mostly just follow artists whose work I enjoy and support. Am I alone in feeling like instagram just kind of sucks?
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