#I can’t even be sad about it half the time bc Matt is just so funny

[cerealmonster15]

Matt Arnold is so funny re: linc’s current stance with grant lol

Referencing this

[bobawitch]

Hey could you write something abt Nick and reader being best friends and like she gets heartbroken and Nick is js there for her bc their like bestie until the restie so ya‼️ but I love your writing and if you can’t write this or your uncomfortable with it I get it!! Thank you for your timeeee :))))

a/n: i hope this is what you were thinking of, i recently got dumped so this was rlly helpful

wc: 967

cw: none just platonic stuff

Nick had been one of your closest friends for years now, you had met once at a sale for urban outfitters when you were 18. He grabbed a shirt with excitement and noticed the price, scrunching up his face and shaking his head, throwing it back on the rack. You noticed and laughed, making a comment about the price and how a sale isn’t actually a sale. And that’s all it took, soon enough you were inseparable. You, Nick, and Madi were always hanging out, just as you were when you first met your boyfriend, Madi hyped you up to go talk to him but he beat you to it. You almost immediately caught feelings for the boy and Nick was there helping you pick your outfit for your first date. That was about a year and a half ago and even though your boyfriend was nice and caring you noticed that he had his flaws. Unfortunately for you, Nick noticed too. So currently you sat in bed staring at your phone, the words “Read 15 minutes ago” haunting your brain.

Your stomach twisted into pretzels trying not to let your worst nightmares cloud your mind. Soon the familiar bubbles popped up on your screen, you whipped up in bed, clutching your phone with your breath stuck in your throat. You watched as the 4 dreaded words came to your screen. “We need to talk.” Tears stung at the back of your eyes as you slowly began to type “Ok.” You watched the message send before your phone buzzed, a phone call you never wanted to answer popping up. Slowly you pressed the green accept button and held the phone to your ear. “We need to break up. We aren’t in the same place we used to be.” And que the water works. All the air you had held escaped you, seemingly gone forever. You didn’t respond, you just hung up. Quickly scrolling to Nick’s contact and pressing call. “Heyyyyyyy! I’m in the car with Chris and Ma-” Nick fell silent as he heard you desperate gasps for breath. “Y/N? Y/N what’s wrong? Hold on, we’re coming to pick you up. Matt, go to Y/N’s house now.” You knew you didn’t need to say anything to Nick. He had heard every fight between you and your boyfriend, knew every single time your boyfriend pissed you off and knew that if you were crying like this that there was something extra bad happening. 

Within 10 minutes Nick was in your apartment and Matt and Chris had gone to get you food, Nick’s orders. He walked into your room and sat on your bed, pulling you into a tight hug. You felt like you were in another world, like you were watching yourself cry into Nick. Honestly part of you was happy you weren’t totally in it because it felt a bit embarrassing to be this upset over someone else. Nick gently petting your hair as he let you cry into him. After a few sad songs and a good 20 minutes of crying you had stopped, sniffling and pressing the puffiness that had accumulated around your eyes. “He broke up with me…” You softly admitted and Nick’s face contorted. “Ew, what a fucking idiot.” You giggled a pained giggle before looking up at the boy. “Yeah I guess so.” He smiled at you and pulled out his phone. “You know what helps me when men decide to be stupid?” You shook your head as you watched Nick open tik tok. Quickly he pulled up an old video of Matt and handed you the phone. “You boyfriend broke up with you? Here’s what I’m going to say, you ready? His loss. It’s ok that you’re single, it’s ok that you don’t have a boyfriend.” You stifled a laugh before liking the video. Nick’s jaw dropped and you smirked over at him. “That person is going to post something about me liking that video, you know that right?” You laughed at Nick’s shock. “Yeah I know.” Nick laughed with his mouth still open before taking his phone back and turning it off. “Matt really spitting facts though, you know that?” You nodded silently, a smile still present on your face. You heard your doorbell ring and stood, walking to your door and opening it to see Matt and Chris holding your favorite milkshake and shitty burger. Chris was leaned against your door frame and Matt held the food out to you. He awkwardly smiled and nodded at you. Chris smiled at you and gave you a fist bump before Nick came over to shoo them off. You closed the door and stared at the food. “Your brothers are awesome, tell Matt I’ll venmo him.” You said as you brought the food to your living room table. “Nope, I paid for it. You don’t need to worry about that right now.” You stood and hugged Nick again, tears threatening to fall down your cheeks once more. “Nuh uh hoe, we just stopped crying, it's food time now.” You sniffled and nodded, stepping back to your food and immediately devouring it. Nick watched in awe before laughing again. “Gimme your phone.” He said, you complied without much thought. Honestly you were in concentration of your food, barely noticing Nick removing your ex from your social media and gallery. 

The day carried on, Nick pulling your focus away from anything that even resembled your new ex. The two of you now sat by your tv, the credits of Edawrd Scissorhands playing in the background. “Sooo now that I’m single, what’s Matt up to?” You were joking of course but seeing Nick whip his head around at you made you bust out laughing. He watched you die laughing before shaking his head. “I hate you bro.” “Love you too Nicky-poo!”

[mostlyanything19]

So I’m on episode 46 and Yasha is having storm visions of the past and--

Ashley is there so little during the early Mighty Nein episodes that Yasha is seldom more than a very, very quiet person who fights with them and does little else in terms of interactions, but... man I love Yasha! Every time Ashley is there, even if it’s just for a little bit, she brings such a quality to the character. I can’t get enough of her, she’s so good.

And Ashley’s absences...it was a similar thing with Pike, in that they do inform the character. They can’t not. And Yasha is deliberately built with those absences kept in mind, you can tell. She’s so quiet, anyone can pilot her without necessarily having to roleplay her, which makes it possible for her to at least on paper be around without Ashley being there. Travis or Matt strew in a sentence for her here and there and it doesn’t seem out of character that she doesn’t have more to say - not like whenever Laura is missing and Jester is either weird bc she’s way too quiet or weird bc other people can’t properly play her.

But it also does something with Yasha, and in this episode it shows and it’s just that little bit more heartbreaking. When she comes late to breakfast and grumbles about not having been woken up, and then after a while just says it: You guys were gone six days. I had no idea where you were, I looked for you everywhere in that room and you were just gone, all of you, all at once. And Nott starts in about if she held funerals for them, and it actually after a moment gets Yasha so heated that she blurts something else out: I didn’t know if you were dead or if you had just all fucked off together because you didn’t want me being part of the group anymore. And she hits the same sore spot a second time right after: “I’m glad you’re all okay. For whatever the fuck it’s worth to you.”

So here is Yasha who left the group after the Iron Shepherds, after Molly, and she was initially with the group kind of only because Molly was there, and she joined back up with them in Nicodranas more by circumstance than much else, and has since stuck with them but hasn’t been able, for reasons out of her control (i.e. the fact that Ashley wasn’t there to play her) to bond with everyone as much as they have been doing amongst each other. And ... she felt disregarded and left behind when they all vanished on her. It would hurt her, if they’d leave her, and knowing that it was all an accident only softens the blow in part; following that, she’s still not completely convinced whether they care that she cares. Yasha doesn’t feel secure in her place in this friend group, and that this insecurity is triggered is partly so sad because it’s entirely out of their control. It’s the same as back when Pike would stay behind in Vasselheim or Whitestone and she’d always be so sad, wishing that she could come along, but there’s no out for it, there’s no in-game way to say “hey, just come along then!” - she can’t, she actually really can’t, just like Yasha can’t be anything else right now than somebody who rarely speaks or is spoken to and doesn’t participate in some adventures. But it still affects her.

In conclusion: I love Yasha and I really think she should get a hug or something.

(In other episode notes: Honorable mention to Caduceus, who tells Yasha he can always tell it in his left knee when it’s about to rain or the weather gets cold, and I finally have an answer to why I had taken it for a fact before starting C2 that Caddy has a bit of a limp. Must’ve picked that up from the fandom somewhere, since old injuries are prone to that sort of thing.)

((Honorable mention also to my sister who was half-asleep listening to the Mighty Nein buying food at the mead place and chose that moment to randomly have a brain-glitch and inform me suddenly and decisively that Caduceus was about to brawl in the street, a thing that has no basis in canonical events and never actually happens.))

(And last but not least, shoutout to Marisha’s little face journey at 1:34:30 when Matt narrates the Zuala part and she realizes that Beau might just be not the only lesbian at the table. I wish I had gifs of this it’s great)

[womanaction]

also wait I realized I never posted on here the story of my husband losing his wedding ring in Kilkenny on our honeymoon while we were watching Farscape so…

ok so we started watching Farscape 6 months before the wedding aka Hell bc our first venue canceled on us about a month before that and my dress came in the wrong size and basically everything was chaos (this seems pretty standard for weddings but I do think we had an unusual amount of bad luck). Anyway we quickly become obsessed with it and when we get to the last season we really draw it out and decide we’ll watch peacekeeper wars on our honeymoon, as one does

(Wedding ended up lovely btw but everyday I wake up relieved it’s over and we agreed that we should have eloped)

we watch half of it on I think the second night but we had gone out to pubs and such in dublin that night so we’re really tired and can’t finish it so we decide we’ll pick it back up. now usually when we’re on a vacation we have at least one night we call Wine Night where we buy copious quantities of shit wine and watch stuff at the hotel bc we are both introverts and we get socially exhausted easily on vacation. since we went out the night before we decide that next night in Kilkenny will be our Wine Night so we stop by after dinner and pick up some bottles (including nice stuff we save lol). we get a little wild and pick up these little beer bottle type meads too. So we get back to the hotel and we’re cuddled up watching peacekeeper wars and in case you haven’t watched Farscape I’ll just say there is a scene in that involving a wedding.

Husband turns to me to go “aww, we got married! We have rings!” Bc we’re dorks like that but then he realizes

he doesn’t

have it

Peacekeeper wars paused. We panic. The room gets trashed. every piece of furniture is moved.

it’s not here. It must be in town.

Since it’s our honeymoon I have taken like a million pictures so I’m frantically zooming in on his hands in each one to see if the ring is there. did we lose it in Dublin?? no, there’s a picture of him from earlier that day holding an umbrella in front of the cathedral on the other side of town. it’s somewhere in Kilkenny. all the other pictures are inconclusive though.

so we backtrack as much as we can - it’s dark and most stuff is closed by now but we make it back to the restaurant and the streets around the hotel. nothing. Also his ring is matte black and so it definitely feels like it could be lost in between two random stones on the street. we get back to the hotel, I email the guy from the store where we got the wine, and I think we finish peacekeeper wars before an unsettled night.

next morning we have a tour scheduled so we go to that obviously. great fun but still depressed about the ring. decide to scour town afterward. we miss the bus to our next stop as we retrace all of our steps throughout town (sorry Waterford, see you next time). we talk to everyone we can about the ring.

also I feel like I should say obviously this is about more than money but uh. It was really expensive and I can’t afford another one at that time

anyway we finally give up and have a sad coffee (we were sad, the coffee was fine) before bidding Kilkenny and the ring goodbye. we still look on the ground on the way to the bus stop even though we’ve already been through here multiple times. I’m checking my email in case the wine and beer shop miraculously found it even though they looked before opening and I looked again. while on the bus to cork I post on several online lost and founds and make a friend in the Kilkenny subreddit who vows to mail it to me if found. I start fantasizing about the care package I will send to this wonderful person when they find the ring as I’m now convinced they will.

we get to the hotel in cork, still sad and tired. I’m grouchy about missing the museum in Waterford too. we decide to go to the hotel bar to have a drink and while I’m in the bathroom getting ready I hear a triumphant “FOUND IT!!”

I can’t believe my ears and I rush out.

it was in the bag. the whole time. we had checked every other bag but not that one. he had taken it off to open the stupid little mead bottles without scratching it bc we didn’t have a bottle opener and then it fell into the deep recesses. I’m delighted and frustrated and laughing and letting my new subreddit friend know we found it.

every drink we had that night was a toast to the missing ring recovered

[granolabird]

The Weight of Reality

Post 2x08. Sorry guys, there isn’t really a way to fluff this one out. It’s gotta be angsty. Beth finds out about Rick being put in jail, and immidiately calls him. Needless to say, he’s not doing well. Written while listening to Giants by Imagine Dragons on loop bc that’s such a Rick-centric song. 

Warings: One single F bomb. And a lot of sad teenagers. That is all.

Tags: @hournites @bethchapelsbonnet 

If you’d like to be added to my weekly Hournite fic taglist feel free to ask :)

.

Beth is sitting at her desk doing research when she gets the call. It’s ten at night, and fireworks still light the sky outside her house. She’s always hated the fourth of July. Too much noise and partying. Beth was a fan of neither of those things. This fourth of July felt different though. It felt too quiet, what with all the Eclipso business. She was almost thankful for the bright colourful bursts of light outside her window, reassuring she was still in the real world. She was still here. Eclipso couldn’t get to her as long as she had the goggles on.

Her first instinct after the whole Eclipso business had been to phone Rick. He hadn’t responded, which was nothing out of the ordinary. She chalked it up to the bad service at his farm, as that was his usual excuse. When Beth called Courtney and she didn’t respond was when Beth began to worry. Courtney spent all her free time on her phone. She always answered. She was decidedly not answering. Then Beth tried Pat, who she only really called during emergencies, to the same result. She left them all messages of varying concern, telling them about how she really needed to talk, and she had more information on Eclipso. Perhaps the Whitmore-Dugan family were out having a fourth of July celebration. That made sense. That was the option Beth went with.

So that’s how Beth got here. Googling her life away, looking at shady PDF documents on possible origins of Eclipso, and on the original JSA. She didn’t have much but it was something to keep her brain occupied. She’s skimming an article about The Flash and everything that’s known about him when her phone rings. 

It’s Pat.

She almost takes her goggles off before picking it up instinctively, but she corrects herself and leaves them on as she answers the phone. There's a moment of silence on the other side of the line before Pat speaks.

“Beth?”

“Pat! Thank goodness, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you-”

“Beth, I need to tell you something.” There’s a serious tone to his voice. It reminds Beth of the time the hospital called to tell her family that her grandfather was deathly ill. It’s a tone of voice laced with pity, and she hates it. After everything she’s dealt with tonight pity is the last thing she feels like dealing with.

“What’s wrong?”

She keeps her thoughts to herself, instead focusing on figuring out what Pat has to say. There’s more silence on the other end of the line. She can hear what sounds like Courtney crying in the background. She hears Pat take a steadying breath.

“Pat? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“It’s Rick.”

Beth’s entire body drops. She feels it. She feels herself crumple. The feeling of dread she thought she’d destroyed when she fought off Eclipso returns instantly, making her feel sick. Rick. 

Something’s happened to Rick.

“Is he…”

“He’s okay, Beth. But he’s in Jail.”

“What?”

“Eclipso got to him. Made him think Matt was Grundy. Rick attacked him, and almost killed him. The police took Rick in. Court and I are at the station now, we’re trying to get it figured out.”

“No.” She can barely hear herself speak.

“Beth I’m so sorry”

“What about the hourglass? Can’t he use that to break out of jail or something?” Beth is scrambling for an answer, a way to help Rick.

“You know he wouldn’t do that Beth, even if he could.”

“If he could?”

“He smashed the Hourglass.”

Beth doesn’t know when she started crying, hot tears flowing down her face. She finally got somewhere with her parents and now this. Now this.

“Beth? Are you okay?”

“Sorry. I’m sorry Pat I just… I need a minute to process.”

“It’s okay Beth. I can call you back later if you want. Then we can talk about what you wanted to tell us?”

Beth wants to say no, that she has to tell them about Eclipso and her immunity to him with the goggles right now but she can’t. She physically cannot. Every time she opens her mouth it feels like fire is creeping up from her lungs. She can barely breathe. 

“Yeah.” 

Is all she can force out.

She’s shaking as Pat hangs up, staring at her cracked phone screen. The photo of her and the rest of her friends smiling split by the nasty lightning-bolt shatters on the glass screen. Broken. She looks at Rick in the photo, his arm slung around her leisurely as he laughs at a joke Mike said before taking the picture. She wants nothing more than to be back with him at that moment. Things seemed so much easier then. 

“I’m sorry Rick. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there for you.” She murmurs, pressing her forehead to the top of her phone screen.

The phone, of course, provides no response.

She stares at the screen a while longer before she gets an idea, frantically searching up the number of the police station. She’s not sure it’ll work. She’s not well versed in the etiquette of phoning the police station to talk to a newly-arrested teen but it won’t hurt to try, right? 

She hesitates for a moment, her finger hovering over the phone number. She takes a deep breath before she presses it, and then hits the call button.

Ringing

Ringing

And then 

“Blue Valley Police Department, how can I help you?” A deep male voice answers the phone.

“Hi! Sorry, I don’t know if this is the right number to call, or what I’m supposed to be doing here really.” She’s speaking quickly, words blending together in her panic. She takes another deep breath and then continues.

“You have someone I know in detainment? A Rick Tyler? Or maybe he’s under Rick Harris, but that’s not really his name.” She cringes at that statement, but the officer, whoever they are, should call Rick by his real name. He deserves at least that.

“Right. So why exactly are you calling?”

“Oh! Sorry, I’d like to talk to him if that’s possible? I know he’s just gotten there but I’m.. Well I’m his closest friend. I just really need to talk to him.”

“Listen kid, we already have people here trying to figure out what to do with him-”

“Pat and Courtney. They know me, they’d want me to talk to him too. Please. I really need to talk to him. Even if it’s only for a little while. Please.”

A deep sigh on the other end of the line.

“You’re lucky I have a soft spot for young romance. He’s in a detention cell right now. I’ll see what I can do.”

Beth’s mind catches on to the words young romance. She wants to correct the officer and tell her there is no romance, but she doesn’t. Because that would be a lie. There was something. A spark. One that may never turn into anything if Rick gets sent off to a juvenile detention centre somewhere halfway across the country.

“Thank you so much.” Beth breathes, realizing she hadn’t said anything in response.

The officer only grunts, and then she hears the sound of the phone being placed on the table, and footsteps walking away.

It seems like hours before she hears more footsteps, hurried, almost panicked. She hears a vague 

“You have to be quick. I really shouldn’t be doing this.”

No response, only a swoosh of air as the phone is lifted up and then 

“Beth?” Rick’s voice is shaking.

Beth has never heard him so genuinely scared. He sounds terrified, and so deeply sad. He sounds broken. 

“Rick. Rick, I’m here, what happened?”

“Beth.” He repeats her name, and then she hears him sob. 

It’s a guttural noise as he gasps for air, and Beth wishes she could reach through the line to hug him. She wants to be there with him more than anything.

“Rick, it'll be okay.”

“It won’t. I’ve fucked it all up Beth. We can’t fix this one.” He sounds so defeated. 

“We can try. I’m not going to stop trying. This isn’t your fault. We’re going to get you out of this.” “This is my fault. This is entirely my fault. It was bound to happen one day, and now it did. Even Matt knew it, I was destined for the cells. That’s my future.” He’s not even listening to what she’s saying, just rambling to himself at this point.

“Rick-”

“You deserve better than me Beth. You, and the whole team. I’ve been nothing but a dead weight. You’ll be better off without me.”

“RICK.” Beth half-shouts into her phone, tears still burning molten streams down her cheeks.

She hears Rick inhale sharply on the other end of the line. He’s surprised. Good, at least that’ll get him out of his own mind.

“I’m not leaving you and that’s final. Nobody is. You may not think it, but we care about you. A lot. We’re going to get you out of this.”

Another sob on Rick’s end, and she can hear his heavy breathing as he tries, and fails, to regain his composure. 

“I’m sorry. Beth, oh my god I'm so sorry.” She wishes Rick didn’t sound so terrified. 

She wishes there was some way she could reverse time and be there to help him. To make everything better. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s not. Eclipso made you do it. Please, please don’t blame yourself. Please don’t.” She’s pleading, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

“I… Beth I…” He’s at a loss for words. 

She hears the deep voice of the Officer in the background. Shuffling. “I’ve gotta go Beth.” His voice is strained. “Ok. I’ll see you as soon as I can.” Beth offers, hoping it’ll provide him some reassurance.

“Right.”

A deep breath on his end, and then more shuffling and voices. “Beth I.. I lo… I…” He’s really trying to say something, his words choked as he struggles to spit them out. 

Before he can finish his sentence there’s more footsteps and the phone clatters down. A few more seconds of shouts and shuffling before the line cuts out, and Beth is left alone again.

She’s almost certain she knows what he was going to say in that last sentence but she can’t bring herself to think too much about it. It’ll be something to talk about once they get Rick out. They have to get him out. With a sigh Beth returns to staring at her shattered phone screen, still crying. She stares at Rick’s smiling face, and tries to smile back at him. She just wants to be with him. She just wants it all to be okay. She’ll just have to keep telling herself it’ll all be okay. Then, maybe one day it will be. 

It has to be.

[kuroos-moon]

E-girl S/o 

☾ pairings: ushijima x reader, oikawa x reader, kuroo x reader 

☾ request: headcanons for Ushijima, Oikawa and Kuroo reacting to or being interested in/dating a girl that is kinda goth/e-girl/edgy? Like they wear a lot of black, like scary movies and video games, have a very sarcastic personality?

☾ warning/s: none

☾ a/note: not rlly sure if i did e-girls justice on this one im sorry 

Ushijima Wakatoshi 

• Doesn’t get the “oh, I didn’t expect girls like y/n are your type” 

• Like?? Uhm, wdym it’s self-explanatory you’re just so eye-catching 

• Yes, you caught the Ushiwaka’s eye 

• You’re not dating or anything, let alone have started a conversation 

• But there’s an impressive number of people who know he likes you a lot

• Wakatoshi’s blunt and genuinely honest for most times if not all of his life 

• “You like anyone?” “Yes.” “Really? Is it that cute girl from your cl-

• “Y/n L/n.”  

• Knows how much you love black bc it’s not rlly hard to miss, you wear it on you every chance you get

• And now you’ve cursed him with remembering you every time he sees the color 

• You heard of the rumors that one of the nation’s top three aces likes you and you don’t believe them ofc 

• Not that you don’t know you’re pretty, you love your reflection but you just reckon you’re not his type yk? 

• He’s more of an admire and fall for you more from afar type of dude

• Totally stops and stare when you walk in the gym wearing a short black skirt and a black top, with boots and chains and all 

• Doesn’t know a thing about fashion but damn, you’re so hot?? 

• Cannot hear even his own coach

• Hopes you’re not going on a date 

• “Geez, y/n, is it someone’s funeral?” “Ah, Satori-chan, why are you even out of your cascket?” 

• Kinda thinks you’re mean bc you’re sarcastic and his humor rlly isn’t up to your level lmao sorry but he wants to know what’s it like to actually talk to you 

• So he does, once he bumps into you on his way out of the gym and you just awkwardly stare at each other 

• “I like your style. Your outfit.” He says, and he is not even shy on the outside at least

• “uh thanks?” you just kinda smile at him bc ydk what youre supposed to do this is wakafreakingtoshi we’re talkin bout 

• “you like black a lot.” “yeah, I do, what of it?” 

• “you really look good in it. You own the color,” he says that like it’s no big deal before he walks away 

• You totally crush on him after that encounter 

• Basically, he doesn’t have a type. he cannot distinguish cute girls, e-girls, or any ‘type’ of girls

• What he could so naturally distinguish though, is you—his lovely darling in black—and the rest of the female population he couldn’t care less for 

Oikawa Tōru 

• You’re his most treasured babygirl and no he doesn’t take any criticism 

• Your taste in fashion? 💯/💯

• Is maybe a tad bit too in love with your pretty boy and e-girl dynamic in pics bc his Instagram is flooded with them 

• Hypes you up in your socials, in his, and in real life 

• Goes for captions like: “choke me like you hate me, y/n-chan” and “step on me and I’ll apologize instead” 

• He’s so cheesy but you love it :>

• Lets you pick out his clothes once in a while though you have different tastes and preferences 

• You return the favor too sometimes and it’s not even a compromise on either of your parts 

• You just have fun with your own things and you’re having fun in trying out things the other likes too yk? 

• One thing that shortens his lifespan is when you watch horror movies together 

• HOW ARE YOU NOT SCARED? Loves spending nights like this with you nonetheless though

• “y/n-chan is the ghost gone?” “yup, you could open your eyes now.” “thank g- hey!” 

• Is the rare male teenager who’s kinda knowledgeable in make-up products bc of u

• He knows what kind of eyeliner you use and if he sees something kinda cool when he’s out, he’ll buy it for you

• Or tell you about it: “y/n-chan do you know this eyeliner called ***? I don’t know if it was the lady’s sales talk but I think you’ll like it”—wholesome and thoughtful

• Flexes you a lot and will not tolerate all the “Tōru and y/n don’t really look good together” 

• “Right? She just doesn’t complement him right.”

• He’s childish and more so when agitated, not even Iwaizumi could hold him back

• “Oh yeah? THEN LOOK AT MY FABULOUS NAILS” flexes all ten of his fingers which you painted black just last night on your bedroom floor 

• You just flip your hair in their direction and drag Toru away bc you’re too unbothered <33 

• “y/n-chan back me up here, you have the bitchiest attitude towards me so let’s work together and unleash our sass on them so they shut up, okay?” 

• It’s really rare for him to be that way with his fans but he’s the numero uno y/n-stanner ofc he won’t take that crap 

• “your makeup and taste in clothes aren’t even half as good as y/n’s.” sticks his tongue out ✨maturely✨

• Hates when he has to play Karasuno bc you once mentioned you could imagine Tobio having the same aesthetic as you 

• You also might’ve jokingly told him that “Toru I should’ve gotten a boyfriend from Karasuno, it’d be cool to tie their jacket around my waist and cheer for him at the same time.” 

• Was so mad at you about it and refused to talk to you for days because he’s just so not childish at all 

• “Ugh, why don’t they just change their team color to pure orange. Chibi-chan domination.” 

Kuroo Tetsuro

• Already took an interest in you from what he observes is an interestingly snarky character 

• Has been seeing you in only your uniform at first though but then he finds himself thinking a bit too much about you one night

• Stalks your Instagram <33 

• Jaw drops, heart beats a tad bit faster, his yearning grows 

• You’re so pretty. So good in black. Your poses? The whole vibe of your feed? He doesn’t know what to do with his admiration you’re just so freaking meant for him

• He gets it’s not the usual style for most girls in school, and tbh he didn’t know he’d like it so much, he just does now

• Knows there was no saving him once he starts imagining scenarios about you before he goes to bed

• This dork starts to know more things about you—it’s really cool that you play the same games as him 

• Is up to date on your posts, your ig story, and your tweets but why in the world are you still not in bed at 3 in the morning? 

• You just love gaming, huh? Should he start a conversation with you about it? He played that often too with Kenma

• He just can’t seem to though bc he’s nervous and lowkey intimidated 

• Once witnessed you jokingly exchange snarky comments with your friends and you even flipped them off 

• It’s settled then, he’ll graduate without talking to you sad kuroo noises 

• You once posted a pic flexing your matte black nails on a weekend and when the weekday came, he was so excited to see them in person 

• But your nails are no longer painted, and he was so disappointed bc they looked rlly attractive to him 

• Voices out his thoughts mindlessly. “You removed your nail polish.” 

• Everyone—including you—is surprised. Your desks aren’t even next to each other but his body was facing you 

• Cringes internally once he realizes he had said it but is so surprised when you smile at him. 

• “It’s not allowed in school, it’s a shame, you think they were pretty too, right?” 

• He cannot function, he totally did not prepare for this—and to think he had so many nights imagining different scenarios about you. 

• He was rlly popular and you thought you acted too confident; you just curse yourself for it. “Oh, uh sorry I thought you saw my post.” 

• You look away, embarrassed. “Yeah,” he chuckles a bit. You cringe. 

• “Black really suits you, and your nails were pretty, wish I could’ve seen them today, that’s all.”

• And who would’ve thought your relationship would bloom since then 

• All because he’s so interested and mesmerized with everything about you <3 

General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle   @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @ultzuko

[nochiquinn]

campaign 3 episode 12: ball’s out

sam: does That me: removes headset

insert my recurring rant about southern accents as punchlines

isn't like half the table also from some part of the south

sdfkjsdlk The Magic Of Television

okay but this is really good tho considering

"STOP WEARING THE MERCH AT HOME" she will not

I'm still always surprised when the intro isn't your turn to roll. like I forget until it happens.

"silence in the library" [crosses self in doctor who]

the plot thickens??

still big parvati holcomb vibes. I love her.

Mysterious Mom Plot

is travis wearing a team rocket shirt or is that a reference I'm not getting

"the hunger" no that's adventure zone

"gotta get a tux for pate"

oh no, old people

"you can't tell if she's alive bc she doesn't have a head"

orym keeping one eye on chetney the rest of the day

we lost travis

"he just hates it SO MUCH"

"taliesin shot me in the heart"

"what about your face" "insight check"

"don't cry, you're perfect"

"that idea happened fast, you've done this before"

GOOGLY EYES

turtle!

"you must gather your party before venturing forth"

quick matt describe the entire interior of a macy's

dorian as the party life coach

"the forgotten/discount rack" you mean the section I beelined for in hot topic in middle school

"haber-fuck?"

"no one ever comes back"

they turn in cyrus for clothes money

this is my partner bullying me into buying literally anything for myself

this is also not helping my parvati/imogen problem

robes with the fur

"is it well-taxidermied or not"

there's an outfit like this in rdr2

fearne's just gonna steal it

dorian asking permission to speak to imogen telepathically ❤

"GOT THOSE LEGS FINISHED OLD MAN"

so for the longest time my grandmother's prosthetic leg, along with skin-tone foot, sat in the corner of my parents' den and that's all I'm picturing

"maybe you should sign on my behalf" made me feel a thing but I don't know what it was yet

devexian in a tux send tweet

"I wanna live. I wanna experience the universe and I wanna eat pie."

"I have a table kink"

something something table service top

chetney is the granddad who tries to give you $20 and when you try to refuse it sticks it in your back pocket as you go out the door

oh no I love them

AARON

travis: "jubilee" CORRECT

ashton

fearne

children

ashley's haircut makes her Fearne Chaos Face ™️ look even more unhinged

help I love her

I want an adventure of the week series with a group of people collecting shit for the shop

fcg

I stood up to tell my partner goodnight and realized I've been hunched over my ipad drawing and re-ouched my ribs

BOOPDEDOOPBEDOOPBEDOOPBEDOOP HAUNTED DOLL WATCH

group: growth? fearne: absolutely fucking not

I'm so depressed we're already halfway through the lovm season. continuous releases forever.

"the dpb" I hate that I understand this

"we got hot glue, we got glitter"

"hot glue is such a good smell" "FOCUS, GROUP"

old people and kids

daniel bbeg

dusk maven sounds intensely cool

"you're a good egg"

[deadwood smallpox voice] I identifyyyyy

fcg lore FCG LORE

ptsd babygate

you can't access this thought until you're big enough to process it did they just do the emotional damage meme

briarwood lore BRIARWOOD LORE

or not

"I'm sure you just need more dice"  travis be nice

"you rolled too low to find the sexy photos"

...bloodline jutsu

good lord chatbot says this is almost a five-hour episode

ONE BED

THROUPLE I actively hate that word but stILL

orym: "I know what you mean"

it's not sad in text but it was sad when he said it

"I imagine she smells like a ferret" canon

"I wanna be fearne when I grow up" saaaame

oh them poly

"love love" just put me in the ground

laudna as imogen's alarm

matt you can't whiplash my mood like this

laura holding her mug after laudna got imogen water

the IMMERSION

I love them. I don't even care how they love each other, it's just very important to me that they do

marwa was created to attack me directly

oh no I love her

"ooooh it's got blood in it, you like blood spooky giiiirl"

put some dust of deliciousness on the croissant

some may call this trash, me...

VALIDATION

I showed you my rat please respond

Friendship Is Pastries

this is my new favorite relationship

[bloodborne voice] fear the old blood

!!!!

"I try to steal it" FEARNE

orym!!

my artist roommate every time she sees me drawing

liam ruining matt's schadenfreude

(...does anybody else have to sing the avenue q song to spell schadenfreude?)

"I was ready to say 'professor pate' but now I'm upset"

"he isn't breathing"

you've heard of fake dating get ready for fake noble & entourage

(both.gif)

oh no!!

revolution grandpa of my heart

"I don't want to cause undue trauma" "then don't look at anybody"

oh no

we're getting a glimpse of what he ran away from

second SUN

world's most interesting gnome

this polycule is going to destroy me

"and Doc"

NIGHTY MEINS

"alright, new campaign"

marisha: I'm basically a god

[meanminyxrd]

punchdrunk but it’s andreil based

hey losers i’m back with another song analysis, as always. i have a playlist for my andreil vibes if you’re curious, here it is. i actually have a lot but this one is for my slightly sad yearning andreil vibes. 

anyways, today we are covering punchdrunk by vaines. i really really enjoy this song for them and i hope i can covey it!! let’s go (:

I remember driving your car 'cause I never had one

And if I did I probably would’ve crashed it

And if I died who would’ve cared?

Maybe you would cry sometimes

Maybe you would just be fine

Because I know we weren’t in love

You just wanted to pass the time

(And that was alright)

the first line of this is pretty black and white. neil driving andrew’s car <3333 that’s it that’s the tweet. when he’s saying he’d crash one if he had his own its because he has to destroy a lot and leave stuff behind because of his past. he constantly is working to hide his past from the FBI. furthermore, he thought he was going to die for the majority of the books, and when he died, who was supposed to care? he had no one. it was this ‘me, myself, and i’ mentality because that was what kept him alive. he was constantly in danger, and when he was with andrew that’s why he made him take away the promise; he didn’t want andrew hurt because of his actions. by saying ‘maybe you would cry sometimes, maybe you would be just fine’ shows how he doesn’t think andrew actually cares ab him because 1. neil is an oblivious fuck and 2. andrew is a raging tsundere. andrew is always like ‘i dont like u’ blah blah, explaining the line ‘because i know we weren’t in love you just wanted to pass the time’ but neil was okay w it; ‘and that was alright’

I got it bad and I feel so lonely

Thought I wanted love I just wanted you

Now we’re together but you don’t even know me

But I’m stuck, what am I gonna do?

uhhh, like, poor fuckin neil man. he really had it bad for this man i really dunno how he survived when andrew was in the mental hospital HAHA. but fr he must have been so lonely, never allowing himself to make attachments, and then he makes this really skewed one with some midget maniac and then that same man goes to a hospital. that can’t have been a fun time (and it wasn’t).

‘thought i wanted love i just wanted you’, god, i love this line. remember when he looks at nicky and matt to see if he feels anything different? sees if he feels attracted to them, but he doesnt? he thinks he’s just craving affection after all this time, but no, its andrew he craves, it’s andrew he wants and chooses.

‘now we’re together but you dont even know me’ this motherfucker is living behind this silly ‘neil’ persona for a time when he’s with andrew and andrew only has this red headed man built of half truths. ‘now im stuck, what am i gonna do?’ he can’t run away like he’s used to because now he cares about andrew and he’s promised to stay.

Guess I’ll stick around

Being with you is only making me feel

Like I’m further from you then I’ve ever been

But I’m right there when you call me 'cause I’m so lonely

I don’t wanna bring it to an end

now, neil stays because he promised andrew he would, and andrew makes him feel so different and special and happy. but also while he’s with andrew he feels so far away because he isn’t being himself and andrew keeps denying whatever this,,, scuffed relationship is. but whenever andrew initiates contact, asks him yes or no, tells him to meet him somewhere or do something, neil is THERE in a heartbeat because he’s so caught up with the idea of andrew and he doesn’t want what they have to ever end even tho he’s convinced it will, one day, come to that point.

I remember feeling so young

Nothing's gonna bring me down

And if you jumped I would’ve followed

All the way down to the bottom

Better days are over now

Everything is slowing down

And you still won’t say it’s love

You just wanna pass the time

Fine

being with andrew brings him up, makes him happy, makes him FEEL something. nothing was gonna take him away from that. he would have followed andrew anywhere because he quite literally trusted andrew with his life. but the good days are over, (cut to baltimore) he’s being fucked up by his dad’s men and he thinks he’s gonna die then (cut to post baltimore) andrew does all this shit for him but STILL says he doesnt care ab neil and he just wants to pass the time. and neil is like, fine, what the fuck ever. if this is just a cheap fuck then by god im going to enjoy it while it lasts. and he’s starting to think andrew might feel *something*, but there’s no confirmation that can be seen by our lovely oblivious lil man.

Don’t stop, I know that it’s not what

I want but I need somebody to be mine

Oh god, I can’t tell you what’s up

I’m so deep in punch drunk, dumb love

I don’t ever wanna wake up

he doesnt want to be tied down. trusting someone and staying in one place for a long time? no. no way. that’s not something that neil abram josten does. he does not stay, he does not trust anyone, and by god he does NOT fall in love. but he gets to a point where he needs andrew. all he can think of in the hospital is the foxes and andrew, god, ANDREW, the prick he’s fallen in love with and can’t get out of love with. and he begs andrew to let him stay (post baltimore, hotel scene) because he NEEDS to stay, he NEEDS the foxes but more importantly he NEEDS andrew. but he’ll leave if he has to. he’ll leave if andrew asks him to because he cares more about andrew than he does himself, but he can’t explain any of this to andrew, because he’s never felt this before and he doesnt know what he’s even feeling. he just knows that somewhere along the line he fell head over heels into this situation for andrew and god he doesnt think he’ll ever be ready for it to end.

Got me brainwashed, everything is hazy

Am I killing time? Are you killin' me?

Mind games daily, why do I let you play me?

Do you get high watching me bleed?

(Now I’m bleeding out)

this part, for me, is more so a cut to the first book when andrew is just fuckin manic 24/7 because of his drugs. he drugs neil (brainwashed, hazy) and kidnaps him. neil is so stressed out by this situation that he doesn’t know who is winning in this stupid war he has with this psycho midget (am i killing time? are you killing me?). we all know andrew joseph minyard LOVES to torment neil even when shit is chill so he plays mind games with him constantly, and neil just lets it happen, because that’s who neil *is*. nathaniel wouldn’t stand for this shit, but that’s not the personality he’s portrayed and he isn’t eager to break character; not yet. and andrew always is so damn HAPPY, no matter what, bc of the drugs (again, first book for this verse). so the ‘do you get high watching me bleed?’ is like neil being like, do u really enjoy watching everyone around you hurt?? are you actually happy with all of this?

Running in circles while you hurt me, guess I deserve it

'Cause I just keep on worshiping you again and again

And I’m there when you call me 'cause I’m so– *beep*

I don’t want the misery to end

this part is a little tricky to explain canonically, i guess, but i attribute it once more to andrew denying his feelings. nora never explains it in the books, but i know from experience that this is SUCH a confusing scenario to be in. to have someone acting like they care and speaking differently. and neil must have been so confused (running in circles) but he feels he deserves it because it isnt like he’s trying to leave or anything, and he’s always there when andrew asks because like it or not, he’s attached. even tho this confusion sucks sometimes, and the whole hearted belief he has that andrew really does not care hurts beyond belief inside, he buries those feelings because he isnt ready to let andrew go.

that’s pretty much all of it; can you tell i’m obsessed with andreil?? i just love them so much. they’re so special to me. like, i dont think either of them ever saw a relationship coming; it just happened, and that’s what is so inherently beautiful to me about them. it started with a kiss, a ‘yes or no?’ and escalated from there. neil expected one day andrew was going to get bored of him, just like andrew always said he was. but he never did. he never will. 

so yeah!! hope u enjoyed xoxo see y’all soon <3

[criminalmindsdrabbles]

TITLE: Lover of Mine [10:58 pm, 11/08/20]

AUTHOR: criminalmindsdrabbles

RATING:  T-T+

RELATIONSHIPS: Spencer Reid x Reader

PROMPT/SUMMARY: @candice-wayland requested in 2018, (Jesus I’m so sorry for logging out bc that’s why it’s taking two years as I forgot my password!): can you do one where the reader is traumatised and she refuses to cry, even though she needs to, and Spencer helps her??

WORD COUNT: N/A (I’m on notes so I can’t tell, I’m so sorry!)

TRIGGER WARNING: talks about a gun to someone’s head and deep cuts? If there’s anything else let me know!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: so I’m pretty sure my last one was in like?? 2017?? Holy shit but um. Yeah. Here you go? Another Spencer Reid one because who can say no to Spencer Reid?

MULTI-CHAPTERS: it can be, if people want it!

She’d been fine on the flight back. Normal, even. She’d laughed and joked with JJ, and teased Matt and Luke relentlessly like she did her own brothers. She had sat with Dave and done her paperwork so she didn’t have to do it at two in the morning (something she was prone to doing.) She had been fine.

And then she’d got back to her flat, saying goodnight to luke who was a couple of doors down, and shut the door.

And then there was silence.

And that... was more difficult to deal with. But still. She’d put her go bag outfits in the wash, watched a tv programme without watching it whilst it dried, ironed it and folded it back up for the inevitable call.

And once she was in bed, restless from the start, she remembered.

-

“Any last words, Agent Y/L/N?,” the unsub taunted you. Jacob Mikaelson. A 21 year old who had snapped when a girl had rejected him after years of pent up feelings. You had a half mind to tell him to go suck your dick because it’d be bigger but had a feeling, considering the gun pointed in the middle of your forehead, that that’d be an unwise choice.

“Just one thing,” you were proud of yourself, and the ability to keep your voice calm and devoid of the panic you felt rising in you. He gave you a lecherous smirk and you swallowed down the bile. Not the time.

“She won’t love you.” He flinched, minutely, but still flinched nevertheless. And then cocked the gun. Well, fuck, you lamented in your head, forcing yourself to roll your eyes as if you were bored and not terrified.

“No matter how many people you kill, Jacob, she will never love you. She never has and she never will. Not now that you’ve gone down this route,” he looked like she was hitting him and she supposed she was with the words.

It had always been something she had been good at.

“She’s already engaged Jacob. And she’s pregnant,” this, you considered, was not entirely true. She was pregnant but only you and Spencer had figured that out. “She will never love you. All you’ll be to her is a monster.” He pushed the gun to your head and you kept your eyes on him, wanting to stare him down as he took your life if nothing else, and forced a smile onto your face. “Last words spoken,” you taunted, and just as he got ready to shoot you, to end your life, your team came bursting in, someone having kicked the door down.

-

It was safe to say you hadn’t had any sleep. You had tried. But every time you closed your eyes, your mind replayed the sound of the gun against your temple and you were wide awake. You put your hair in a low bun, foregoing makeup, knowing that the team would probably see through it anyway, and put a pair of black jeans on and a pale blue jumper that was oversized. Walking in, Luke raised and eyebrow at your state of attire, knowing that it was unlike you. You gave him a smile, as if nothing was wrong, and he gave you an easy smile in return. “Late night,” he teased you and you felt a smile tug at your lips, and laughed softly, shaking your head, walking with him to where your group was, in a rare moment, chilling at one of the tables. You sat down, kicking your legs up and leant back, relaxing a bit. It was sad, but true, that you never felt more at home than when you were in work.

“Nah. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple of months ago,” you said, shrugging, ignoring the stinging in your chest at the reminder, “didn’t like that I had a job that wasn’t nine to five,” you added, rolling your eyes and smirking, the girls chuckling, whilst the men looked shocked.

“We thought you were together still,” Spencer exclaimed and you nodded, not surprised in the least, seeing as that was what you wanted. You said as much.

“I wanted that, honestly. It was no big issue compared to that case we had going on and I had foreseen it coming for a while. We didn’t want the same things anymore, and I wasn’t willing to leave the job I love for a guy who I knew wasn’t going to stay faithful,” Spencer’s face flickered with something indescribable before he nodded.

“Well, if you ever want anyone to be set up with, I know a couple of guys who are good,” you gave Matt a smile, thankful for the gesture.

“Thank you, although at the moment, I’m more than content to just feed the stray cat that keeps coming to my flat,” Matt and Luke laughed.

“I though she was actually yours,” Luke exclaimed and you laughed, shaking your head,

“No, god no,” you laughed, “my sister would have a fit, seeing as she hates cats,” seeing the questioning look, you laughed, grateful no one had mentioned your state,

“I have four brothers and one sister. The brothers are all older,” your lips twitched, remembering the threats that had slipped from their mouths when they found out about your breakup, and a look of understanding crossed Matt’s face. Right, he had kids. They’d probably have similar relationships with each other. “So my brothers are complete twats,” you said, laughing, and Matt chuckled, Dave, who was the only one who had met them, joining in, “and when we were little, my sister was obsessed with wanting a cat. Like,” you leaned forward, not noticing Spencer staring at you, completely enraptured, “she put up a petition on the fridge and basically blackmailed my brothers and I into signing it,” you laughed, remembering your tall, teenage, football playing brothers being cowed into signing a sheet of paper by an eight year old.

“And so, as retaliation, they got the stray cat, fuck knows how, into our garden and basically presented him to her as a ‘gift’,” you put quotation marks around the last word and by now they were all listening, “anyway, she went to pet him and pick him up but he’s a stray and really fucking defensive so she got scratched on the arms,” here you grimaced, not having quite forgotten that scream, and seeing the blood, and the pure pain on her face.

“Anyway, she had to get a shit ton of stitches and ever since she’s kept a very wide berth of cats. She has a literal phobia of them, something we use as guilt trip ammunition when we need something,” you admitted and they laughed.

“So yeah. The cat isn’t mine, but I do love going out and sitting on the balcony and having a cup of coffee,” Garcia laughed quietly at the coffee and muttered something about ‘glorified sugar’, earning a middle finger in return, “with the cat laid on me. And I alway leave some food out for it too,” you added. They all looked amused and you raised an eyebrow.

“It’s totes yours,” Garcia said gleefully, and you shook your head, ready to deny it some more when Spencer laughed and you turned, your breath hitching slightly, and cursing yourself for the stupid crush you had on your co worker. You could see JJ smirk at your reaction and discreetly flipped her off.

“Cats typically don’t bond with just anyone, especially stray cats, and so when they do, it’s typically someone they consider ‘theirs’,” you felt your eyes go wide slightly and the team laughed.

“I was just feeding it!” You defended yourself, and he nodded, not phased,

“It probably began to trust you as a result and then saw you as theirs.” You groaned and the team laughed once more.

“Great,” you grumbled, “now I need to shop for cat supplies,” you weren’t actually put out as you knew your sister would come round eventually and you liked the cat, but still. It felt nice to be able to joke with the team.

-

On the way back, you laid your head on the plane window and sighed. The past few days had been tiring as it was, but paired with no sleep you were exhausted and you knew it was beginning to show. Someone slid into the seat opposite you and you looked up to see Spencer. You gave him a tired smile, something he returned and he looked out the window with you.

“You okay?” You looked at him and wondered if you could say yes, but realised that it was Spencer and that he, more than anyone, would see right through you, so you settled for a shrug,

“Just tired. The case was pretty heavy,” you admitted, hating that you felt like that, but he nodded.

“We saved her,” he pointed it out, gentle and soothing, something you knew was true. But still.

“Did we?” You murmured, “she’s gonna remember that growing up. She’s going to remember being tied down for some sick assholes pleasure and not being able to do anything about it. She was a kid,” your voice hitched slightly, and you saw Matt look over briefly before going back to talking to his wife.

“I know.” You looked at him then, and truly noticed for the first time the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was unkempt and fuck if it didn’t make your stomach flutter. “But she’s got her mum and dad and her brothers,” the last part, you realised was not meant for the kid, but for you and you nodded.

You did have your brothers. But you couldn’t talk to them about this. They hadn’t wanted you to join in the first place and had only just started coming round to your way of thinking, but you nodded nevertheless.

-

Walking in the next day, Spencer met you at the door and inclined his head in a way you knew meant that he wanted to talk. You wordlessly went with him, the two of you automatically going to the office Emily had got for you when the office got too much for your senses.

Once you were in you locked the door and went to get a drink for the both of you, not bothering to speak first, knowing he’d probably already known what he wanted to say.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Your gaze snapped to his and he remained calm, and continued, “whatever it is that’s making it so you aren’t sleeping?” You felt your throat close up, suddenly dry and forced the lump that had appeared there down.

“It’s nothing,” you murmured, knowing it was silly. But still, he gave you one of his earnest looks and you felt your lips move on their own accord. Stupid crush, “I’ve just been having nightmares for a couple of nights from our previous case,” he looked like he was correct (something you didn’t doubt) and nodded.

“The one which ended with the gun to your head right?” You tried to speak but found your throat had closed up and nodded. He sighed. “It isn’t your fault and you had no way of knowing he’d do that,” you found yourself shaking your head.

“I should have seen the signs, I should have been able to talk him down, I should have,” your voice broke and you found, to your growing horror, that you were crying. His eyes filled with understanding and he nodded, and wordlessly opened his arms. Normally you wouldn’t have entertained the idea but you didn’t hesitate to rush into them, sinking into the embrace and breaking dow, feeling as if you were letting out a tidal wave of emotions that had been being bottled up.

After what felt like an endless amount of time, you got your bearing and realised you were curled on Spencer, your head on his shoulder, and that at some point you’d been put on the sofa. Oh god, you thought, horrified, he’d just seen you when you were weak.

“You weren’t weak.” You didn’t dare lift your head up even at his words because of course he’d say that, “in fact, it’s stronger of you to show your emotions like that than not showing them,” his voice held certainty. You pulled away slightly and winced.

“I ruined your suit,” you mumbled, and he chuckled,

“I think, in the grand scheme of things, that you making my suit damp is the least of my worries,” he teased you and you laughed without meaning to, and felt him relax at the sound.

“Thank you,” you murmured and he nodded, his hair tickling you and you felt your lips twitch at the sensation,

“Well, in that case, is now a good time to tell you I reciprocate your feelings then?”

[excorcismic]

ALRIGHT SO HERE’S THE DEAL ; if misa is my first favorite death note character , this angy kid right here is my second - i adore mello to pieces and he’s very close to misa in terms of how much i love him , but ultimately does she remain queen . but ! the cool thing is that in the series they never actually interact ( the closest being mello spying on her for a brief period of time ) which means i could play my two blonde fashion icons and voila , here they are . so here’s the gist on mello in canon & alucard and most importantly the plots i am digging bc my muse for him rn ?? is off the charts . LESGO !

IN A CANON NUTSHELL ( HUGE DEATH NOTE SPOILERS ) : So Mello’s introduced during the latter half of Death Note ( or maybe it’s more the final third but either way there’s a part where it significantly breaks in two ) - or , the very end of the first half , takes center stage during the second . He’s from the original home of the detective L , an orphanage of gifted children known as Whammy’s House - and essentially , the goal of the children is to maybe one day live up to L , one person taking his place . Mello !! Is one of the candidates . But he has a permanent chip on his shoulder since Near - the other candidate - always managed to beat him at everything . So when Light Yagami gets his way & L dies , Near and Mello are told that L didn’t choose a successor between them . When the idea that they work together to do just that is brought up , Near ( who honestly really liked Mello ) is like ‘hey! let’s do it’ and Mello ( still angy that Near is always right in front of him ) is like ‘FUCK you I’m gonna catch Kira myself’ and leaves the orphanage . Five years later , he works with the mafia , even getting his hands on a Death Note & with the help of a shinigami ( that he scared the living piss out of ) concludes that a rule that states a human will die if they haven’t written in the notebook in thirteen days is fake . He also like , blackmails the president and orchestrates an explosion that Soichiro Yagami dies after but he gets a wicked ass scar afterwards so it’s okay . Now working with L’s third potential successor , Matt , he spies on Misa Amane and makes connections between the second L ( Light Yagami ) & Kira , deduces that Kiyomi Takada is an accomplice , and kidnaps her to try and expose Kira as Light Yagami - but . . . he dies in the process , and so does Matt . The cool thing is though his discoveries led to Near’s breakthrough in the Kira case ( as he and Near met one last time , where he gives Mello the photo he has here in Alucard ) and Mello kind of gets the last laugh post-mortem . And also a kind of neat thing , his last appearance is as the narrator in the Death Note prequel , the Los Angeles BB murder cases - I’m gonna quote the whole thing in my eventual intro but ! It’s an awesome book and Mello is an awesome narrator . ( dn spoilers end here tyvm )

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL - So Mihael Keehl ( his real name in canon , mind you ) is a twenty year-old runaway from the foster system - also sometimes lived in an orphanage but when he wasn’t , the constant tossing around because of his rebellious tendencies wrecked him . He isn’t employed , not does he actually have an actual home - living in a beat down truck most of the time if he can’t get a motel / hotel room for a night or a few . He makes basic expenses and fills his basic needs by doing odd jobs in exchange for money or favors - stuff like ‘if I do this for you for x amount of days or I get this for you you’ll pay for my phone bill for the next two months’ and that stuff . Basic arrangements . And he knows he can like , maybe try to commit to a job or a home but he’s actually . . . way too fucking scared of being tied down or in a worse situation that’s somehow more stable so the nomad life is kind of what he sticks with . But he’s homeless & it’s not good for him . At all . He’ll never flat-out admit that though which is why he calls himself a drifter . His main reason for being on his own , and refusing any extensive help from anyone outside of these favors , is because he has a point to prove - because that inferiority complex kicks in because the other kids he grew up against are doing amazing things and he wants to do better , and not receive any large amount of help . He just ,,, doesn’t understand he’s not doin’ any good for himself .

BUT OOOOOOOH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH MELLO SO BAD OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

so the biggest connection in the sense that it’s the most open , i mentioned that mello mainly pays for his own expenses ( or more so , gets other people to pay for them ) by doing favors or small jobs in exchange for either money or other forms of payment . so obviously , people he has these arrangements with - they can range from anything , mello is extremely smart ( a thing that comes up is that he has a shit ton of wasted potential ) in the books , technology , the streets and has a bunch of small talents he’s picked up over the years of living on his own ( saving money , sewing and mending / caring for clothes how else is he gonna keep that amazing fashion , cooking with very little ingredients , cleaning with little tools , fixing the kinks / souping up automobiles , ahem sexual stuff , tutoring , sometimes even mild illegal shit , you name it . ) so he can offer these talents / skills / etc . to other people who could use them ( most of the time repeatedly ) and in exchange , the other muses will pay him in cash or by doing things like paying his phone bill , car insurance , health insurance , food / groceries , hotel/motel room for a few nights , or even just offering him a place to use the shower or bathroom or even a bed for certain days of the week . This can also lead to many of the other plots I have listed here in the sense it’s a start , and it can happen with anyone , anywhere , for any reason .

literally the thing w/ mel is that he knows no limits and will do anything for anyone and is hardheaded as fuck about it because he’s got a point to prove and things to do and he won’t waste time refusing but the moment you offer your help in exchange for nothing or you’re trying to hold his hand a little too much and he catches on , the arrangement’s over and you’ll be lucky to see him again .

okay so uh . in that sense ?? maybe ppl who kind of helped him out and he did like . one thing for them and once he got his payment for that one thing he kinda bounced n they never heard from him again for whatever reason . nothing against them but he rly isn’t gonna make a habit of staying in one place for too long . 

obviously , those people that really think he’s gotta give up the ghost of trying to survive like this bc it’s wearing on his health & he doesn’t wanna admit it . and he’s tried shaking them off but he won’t leave and sometimes he’s forced to give into the help they offer but tries making them take a payment back .

old peers that felt whatever way about him back then but feel pity for his wasted potential ( at the moment ) , bc this dude was like . . . a straight-a student and was rly good at a bunch of things and now he’s living the way he is . whatever they wanna do and however they felt about him and how he interacted with them back then Differs but . there’s kind of like ‘damn u live like this’ now . gimme some kids who had crushes on him , kids he was rivals with , kids he got into fights with and maybe socked in the jaw a few times , kids who always admired him , kids who hated his guts - it always comes down to what life is like now vs. what life was like then .

i’d like some friends who were formed from the favors - and maybe they’ve stopped whatever they had with him but they still regularly hang out or something , maybe offer a place to stay for the night . 

just in general ?? people who keep their home open for him and whether he takes them up on their offer on a rare basis .

pls some folks trick him into accepting their help like leave him basket of chocolate candy and trap him or something like just . make it ‘wait what’ deal bc they all know he’s stubborn .

also uh . he’s been arrested for minor offenses a few times so some ppl who’ve bailed him out pls and he’s tryna repay him back .

mentor figures . mentor figures pls he’s trying not to accept their mentor-y guidance from .

so maybe the hero  . . . maybe the one person who was like the l to mello of alucard ( maybe even the Man himself ) that he just . looked up to forever and probably still does .

. . . favor idea ?? maybe he’s a stand-in boyfriend or date for events or somethin’ like mello kinda has that bad boy reputation but maybe he dated them for show on their whim at some point or they have that kinda thing ‘pls pretend to my boyfriend and i’ll let u use my shower every weekend for the next month’ or so .

also , one night stands or friends with benefits he uses only for the bathroom / a place to sleep . folks he’s dated for a period bc he did feel something and therefore he had them as an outlet but then broke up with them ( most likely ?? he was the one who ended it bc he has never known love stability & got spooked on it ending and just - did it on his own accord before he could further get hurt BUT THAT NEVER WORKS and he has hella commitement issues ) and tried to shrug it off as ‘ just another fling ’ even tho he’s highkey sad over it . ppl he’s slept with and then disappears with only a ‘thank you’ note as the evidence he was there . and do they accept it ?? are they pissed over it ?? that is up to You but it’s probably gotten around that mihael keehl has never had a stable relationship and never , ever stays . 

lots of ppl he probs has the above two arrangements or scenarios with bc again , gotta get shit done somehow .

enemies . . . he has an endless grudge with for some reason like maybe they screwed him over , 

i want . . . folks he can eventually get soft with and maybe actually seek that comfort in even tho u gotta chip at the five thousand concrete walls to get to that stage . i want to see him become better and that’s an ultimate goal for him in alucard ( even though it’s gonna be a bit more difficult with his memories returning ) to get better , commit to something , accept stability and get his life on a better track .

and yes , that includes an eventual ship ! really it can build off of any of these dynamics just . give me sneaking in through windows late at night , soft words and gentle kisses and protective hugs and please stay i know you never stay but please stay with me and the thought that maybe he should leave but he doesn’t and they wake up with him after a night and he’s still there and maybe there’s a scare he left like he always does but he made chocolate chip pancakes and he feels safe & alright which is . . . a rare occasion in his messy ass life . maybe something like friends to lovers , fwb to lovers , an old flame , anything this could be fun to do !! end goal though , i’d like something on the softer side that’s healthy and loving because that’s really what he needs . 

( some notes tho bc he’s only twenty i’ll sayyyy max i’ll do the more romantic / spicier stuff with in that aspect is . . . 23 - 24 ?? bc he’s almost 21 like if we put the fact we’re in october into account and his birthday is december 13th that isn’t too far away so . That’s That . he’s also pan as fuck . )

BUT , yes . the main connections / plots there are what i can think of . ik a lot of these are so wordy and i’m sorry bt as always ! i will take literally anything i love plots and i think with what i have for mello there is so much potential in what we can do here .

and as always . give me other death note characters . near or matt specifically would fucking make me cry and i’m here for it .

[askthegemgrumps]

Okay so,,, Im just getting into this and I have no clue what’s happening can you help me with like backstories and such? Idk man

@dinah-kitty-52

Okay, 1? I love you, and I wish you luck surviving in this content desert.

I’ve scrolled through some of my old posts to jog my memory, so I’ll give you the best rundown that I can for not having used this blog in a while and having a computer with none of the old CG files. Most of my headcanons or speculations for this au line up with the general consensus for backstory and characters, but little things differ here and there.

Also, please note that some of this au’s content... didn’t age well... From my scan of the Crystal Grumps blog, a few people have technically been removed from this au (which I support) but I will do my best to report things as they were.

Arin: I think he’s a pink rhodochrosite? He was a gem technician on Homeworld and was tasked (I believe by Orange Diamond or Blue Diamond) to do experiments on fusing shattered gems. Arin quietly objected to the work at first but he did his job and made many half-formed abominations. However, he did have one truly successful experiment on Homeworld: the fusion of two gems named Sunshine and Zyanne. Two halves of two gems combined to make someone entirely new: Suzy. Arin defected with Barry and they landed on earth together (I’m pretty sure)

Barry: Orange Diamond. In this au there is no large revolution, but Barry leaves behind his life on Homeworld for reasons that I can’t entirely remember. I think he just wasn’t happy? Also, there was some messed up stuff going on behind closed doors (ninjas, Arin’s work, etc.). He befriended Arin over some time on Homeworld and they escaped together. I don’t think anyone ever made any content about Barry faking his own death like Rose Quartz from the main show, but he may have done it?

Brian & Dan: Brian is a bloodstone and Dan is a Cummingonite because we had to. They are elite warriors, specially produced gems made for their ability to move undetected and to strike before their enemy knew they had company. Dan and Brian are ninjas. They always come in pairs (I think that is well accepted but I can’t remember), so Dan and Brian have been together since the very beginning. However, ninjas have a more nefarious purpose beyond the murder on the tin- ninjas are supposed to kill so thoroughly that there is never a chance of their target reforming. Ninjas shatter and eat other gems. It’s thrown around here and there that ninjas need to eat gems but its honestly just used for angst. These boys can get real sad.

Holly: was a commander in the past? Uh, I’m pretty sure she was shipped with Ross because this was all like 3 years ago so things are very different now.

Kevin: Ok so Kevin was supposed to be some sort of Prophecy Gem? He was a special boy or something. For some people, he was shattered and the two halves of his gem were combined with other stuff to make Matt and Ryan of Supermega, but I never got on that train.

Jacksepticeye: Green Diamond. I can’t remember much about him but he was there.

Jontron: Was Blue Diamond. Slightly malicious but just missed Barry. No longer included in some of the main au sources and has no replacement.

MatPat: Peridot equivalent. I can’t remember how much actual characterization he had.

Mark: He was an amethyst soldier, Jasper equivalent. In some of my writing, he previously commanded Matt and Ryan.

Matt and Ryan: In my writing, they are a pilot and a soldier respectively. Other people had them as halves of the Propechy, created by Arin (I think) after Kevin’s death. People are weird around them, especially Barry as he and Kevin were so close.

Pewdiepie: Yes, I know. He was White Diamond and is no longer included in main circles of the au. I never touched him in the first place. No thank u.

Ross: Remember the ninja partner thing? here’s where it gets sad. Ross was a ninja, left in a kindergarten by mistake for a while with another gem who became his sister. They were ninjas without knowing it, and they were there as partners. However, Ross’s sister’s gem was defective and cracked, and eventually she shattered. He keeps her shards with him when he leaves the kindergarten to live with the Grumps. Dan and Brian figure out that he is a ninja and both try to protect him from the horrors of what he was supposed to be and at the same time try to keep him in check for his safety and everyone else’s. I also did some toying around that he had persuasive powers and that he could (unknowingly) influence gems with his emotions.

Suzy: Like I said before, a fusion of two broken gems from Homeworld. She doesn’t really remember either of her past selves and is pretty stable.

Also NateWantsToBattle is there? I don’t remember much about him.

I have to cut this off because I need to leave for class here in a minute, though I’ve basically covered everyone? Other people try to include other YouTubers of note, but I never did. This au needs a lot of polishing (get the joke?) to fit to 2020 game grumps and everything that has happened in SU/SU: Future (even though we don’t follow that source material too strictly) but I hope you enjoy whatever content is out there now!

I can’t cover the fusions today bc there’s a ton and I don’t remember most of them but they’re there too.

[thefigureinthecorner]

tbs art playlist dump

i want to share my playlists but a) don’t feel like making covers for all of them just yet and b) don’t wanna inundate my blog with playlist posts, but they are relevant to my art cause they help with Drawing Emotions n stuff so i’m still posting them on this blog

i’ll stick the links under the cut so i can keep adding to them, since i make them as i find more songs that fit and clicking a read more conveniently always links back to the original post, so 👌 

also there are some notes bc thought processes are fun

am archives stuff

this playlist is p much just all the music that gets me in the Sad AM Archives Mood for drawing anything in like. the latter half-ish of the episodes. lyrically there isn’t a whole lot of relevance it just gets me in the right headspace for drawing The Emotions (edit: a lot of these songs have become lyrically relevant since i made this post. i’m crying all the time over every song i listen to. goddammit.)

also there is one song (not on this playlist anymore) that i put on loop for drawing specifically Helen and that’s The Mind Electric-- again, more mood relevance than lyrical relevance, though the title is. oddly accurate

honorable mention: black pear tree by the mountain goats and kaki king cause it’s not on spotify but hot damn

joan/owen

it’s just a lot of sad, pine-y love songs. honestly it’s mostly from owen’s perspective cause there’s been a lot of that lately, and as far as i can tell owen’s where most of the love was coming from in this relationship anyway

share your address- ben platt: frankly, almost all of ben platt’s music gives me strong owen vibes, with a few exceptions. this one’s just owen being super in love. that’s the whole thing.

flaws- bastille: there’s a lot about this song that’s perfect for these two but two sections in particular: “When all of your flaws and all of my flaws/Are laid out one by one/The wonderful part of the mess that we made/We pick ourselves undone” and “All of your flaws and all of my flaws/When they have been exhumed/We'll see that we need them to be who we are/Without them we'd be doomed”

the first bit because of everything with Mark, and the second bit because of the last few episodes and the whole “maybe making the mistakes we have makes us uniquely suited to do better in the future” thing

quiet light- the national: owen, post-breakup, probably. the whole thing is good, but “Between you and me/I still fall apart at the thought of your voice” is the part that convinced me to put it here.

title and registration- death cab for cutie: i had this one stuck in my head while drawing owen at one point i think, and then it kinda just. hit me how well it worked. “There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade/And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all/And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide/Lying awake at night”

better- ben platt: yeah it’s ben platt again and i can’t even point to specific lyrics it’s just the whole song. this one’s on owen’s main playlist too but it had to be here

you can do better than me- death cab for cutie: not sure about the first verse, but the rest of the song?? fuck

tompkins square park- mumford and sons: also a song that’s on owen’s main playlist, but it’s on this playlist because after am archives 15 it’s destroying me.

i don’t wanna love somebody else- a great big world: gonna let the lyrics speak for themselves: Oh, we left it all unspoken/Oh, we buried it alive/And now it's screaming in my head/Oh, I shouldn't go on hoping/Oh, that you will change your mind/And one day we could start again/Well I don't care if loneliness kills me/I don't wanna love somebody else

like. excuse me.

this whole song just straight up is his conversation with Sam in am archives 13 huh

owen

i know i’ve linked to this one before on my blog (the notes are here if you want them) but i’m sticking it in the masterpost anyway

this one exists cause a) i draw him a lot and b) there wasn’t a playlist for owen, which is a decision i respect, but also the one song we do have for him kind of. doesn’t help me draw him. i feel like it makes it harder for me to draw him? the song suits him, lyrics-wise, and i understand why it’s his song, but also there’s a lot tone-wise that just takes me out of drawing him a bit. idk why. anyway here’s a playlist

mark

i made this one cause the official mark playlist was Happy Mark Songs, which is great and i’m glad he gets happy songs, but also i very rarely draw him happy (sorry mark i swear ily) and i needed a playlist of Sad Mark Songs. side note: i probably could have added like half the radical face discography to this playlist

paint’s peeling- rilo kiley: there’s a lot about this song that fits, but one line specifically that put this song on the playlist: And, oh, I'm not going back to the assholes that made me

i hate u, i love u- gnash (ft. olivia brian): see damien’s notes on this song, i wrote those before i wrote mark’s and it’s on both playlists for the same reasons

hard of hearing- radical face: holy shit

dead ends- radical face: also holy shit

personal giants (alternate reality version)- radical face: stop me if you’ve heard this before, but: holy shit. also this is totally a mark and joan song. maybe mark and sam also. just mark looking up to all the people who have ever loved him in any way

something good can work- two door cinema club: took this one from his official playlist; i love two door cinema club so i felt like i had to

a better son/daughter- rilo kiley: added this one after episode 14 of the am archives cause i re-discovered rilo kiley like right before that episode came out and aaaaaaaaa

older- ben platt: it’s sad in a Mark Way. idk how else to describe it.

mistakes we knew we were making- straylight run: i know i say this a lot but like......... it’s the whole song. look at the lyrics and try to tell me this isn’t a mark song.

stage 4 fear of trying- frank iero: “and i found some scars in places i have never shown to anyone/i don't know why it took so long to get back home/"if you could hear the dreams i've had my dear..."/yeah i know you've heard that line before/but if i had the chance to scream all the things i've underlined”

still feel- half alive: yeah ok so this is a more upbeat one but it needed to be here. again, a lot about this song works, but like. “Trying to recognize myself when I feel I've been replaced” is the line that got it here

ok ok- half alive: the lyrics kinda work, but honestly, it just Felt Like A Mark Song to me.

damien

it’s either this playlist or, just, The Entire Bastille Discography, cause for some reason their music really suits him imo. this one and the owen one are the ones i consider closest to being complete.

bloody shirt- to kill a king: idk where to even start with this song tbh like i think the lyrics are just his entire post-safehouse arc so it’s definitely something i’ve listened to a lot while drawing him

blame- bastille: another post-safehouse one but this one very specifically links back to the Get The Hell Out conversation him and mark have; fall upon your knees, saying, "this is my body and soul here"/fall and begging, pleading, "you've got the power and control"/don't pin it all on me

reaper man- mother mother: this one’s from the Official Playlist™ and it’s here for p much the same reasons it’s on the official one, with the addition of it helps me draw him. it’s also the only one that i think does from that playlist? which isn’t me bad-mouthing the playlist, i feel like the songs definitely suit him, but again: suiting him and helping me draw him are two very different things

gold- imagine dragons: yeah again it’s just the whole damn song

look what you made me do- our last night (cover): i think lauren shippen posted about this being a damien song on either her blog or the bright sessions blog at one point? and shortly after that this cover showed up in my recommended videos so that’s how that happened

birthright- celldweller: i don’t even remember how i thought of this song while i was making the playlist given it’d been literal years since i listened to celldweller but it worked and it’s here

the hearse- matt maeson: the stripped version of this song is on owen’s playlist because it sounded kind of sad/apologetic; this one doesn’t. this one is still kinda sad but it’s angrier. it’s leaning more towards mark/damien territory; i stuck a couple of those songs on this playlist because a) i don’t draw mark/damien much and b) in the rare cases i do, the official playlist works for me

i hate u, i love u- gnash (ft. olivia brian)- another mark/damien one and also another official playlist song cause i heard it the first time and went oh shit so it’s here now

current works in progress

no links, but i have a lot of songs in mind for these ones that i just haven’t put together into playlists yet:

sam

sam/mark

joan

joan and mark

[operativesurprise]

Dreams I’ve had recently enough to find with a quick scroll on my fb wall

was dreaming about a cave last night. With lots of shallow pools of water along the floor. I feel like if I'd seen the layout from above it would have looked like paisleys. There was a creature there tending the pools. Sweeping detritus away, skimming the surfaces of the water. It took moss that was growing too thick in some places and put it into bare areas, and it was very gentle with the little frogs and salamanders living on the walls.

There was the sound of bats and the dripping and echo of water, and a low hum in the background, but the creature itself made no sound. You heard the bristles of it's broom, and the soft shift of stones it touched, but no footsteps, no breathing, no nothing but a soft chiming noise as it looked in each pool.

The waters all glowed, some white, some pale blue, others pulsed through light pink to deep magenta. The whole dream had this aura of calmness, of being content. It was like being in a giant zen garden but dial the peace up even more. I'm not really sure where -I- was in the dream. My POV was kinda hovering over the figure as it tended to the pools, but I'm fairly certain I wasn't the figure itself. I was like, 6 inches up and to the left.

_____

I've been trying to sketch an image I had in a dream last night and it's just not setting up right. It was like. Honestly it was like the first few seconds of the Adventure Time intro animation - that super fast 'drone camera' POV that swoops down through trees and stuff and focuses in on a character with their back to the camera and then they turn and look?

I was swooping through this orchard of blooming apple trees - and I took note bc for some reason I was surprised they weren't pear and peach trees like 'they were supposed to be'.

But as the camera/I got closer to this feminine figure standing under the branches and the flowers and these really almost black-green leaves in this rich green velvet textured dress (it's totally the dress that's on the original golden book cover of Ella Enchanted), with big free fall bouncy waves of BLOND hair, they turn and instead of it being that kinda anime "turn and wink/smile" and the camera goes to the next, she turned around and it was a dead eyed marionette.

My camera POV just slammed to a halt with the freeze frame of this... entity (which I 'knew' in my dream was The Druid) (Even though this wasn't really an MJ dream) looking up and over their shoulder at me, like they'd become aware of the camera and were looking straight at ME. The branches with the flowers and the leaves above it framed it really close and I couldn't see much other than the scribbly ovals of it's eyes. Then the colors all got desaturated except for the apple blossoms.

And then that dream was over.

___

Vivid dreams last night about being on house hunters. With Lithrick as the realtor.

Also had a very ominous dream about standing in a misty open field, feeling the sawgrass scrape my bare arms and shins, staring up into the grey sky while sharp winged birds with broken bodies 'flew' through the air. It looked like how a washcloth you are swirling in a tub of water looked. There was no sound for that one but I could feel the rain on my face as I looked up.

Then I was dreaming about being on the beach in Belize with the chitons and baby hermit crabs and the breeze and I was watching the sunrise.

___

I've been having zombie nightmares since Sunday. Sunday and Monday were taking place in the shopping mall (which is a relatively new venue for my dreams), Sunday being the Beginning of the outbreak (and star trek themed) and Monday mostly about life starting up in the 'colony' of this gigantic shopping mall.

But last night I dreamed about the collapse of the colony and then survival in the forest.

There was a man in a wheelchair who had arrived at the shopping mall with his mother - both of whom were injured but not infected. We let them in and the mother succumbed to her injuries shortly after.

This left the man in the wheelchair distraught and he would wheel around the open plaza in the center of the mall mumbling. It was not concerning - until other weird things began to happen.

Like how one of the dorm areas had mysteriously become locked, how some people were going missing (presumably they left to try and find their families), and how some older people were getting injuries in the night - explained away by "well, old people have delicate skin and maybe they bumped themselves".

But then the man in the wheelchair wheeled up to the mezzanine and shouted for attention. And then he collapsed, and clouds of mosquitos erupted from his wounds and began to attack people.

Flash forward to a weird mix of irl and larp characters living in the woods behind my house in an abandoned homestead - I had gone from dying by mosquito to being Sano and a group of us avoiding Velociraptors in the long grass as we made our way back to the relative safety of this bombed out building husk.

But then The Rattler Gang came - horribly tattooed and violent and they ransacked through the homestead and were almost into our barricaded room when not-quite-Malaki and sorta-Allison with an ancestor spirit wig on saved us.

The dream ended with us all in a cave explaining to a horrified Morgrym that "see what happens when you're late?"

It was so weird bc as the dreams progressed and became more MJ and less Real World but with Zombies the zombies became less of an issue (I mean, repel undead is a thing)

___

Last night I dreamed about Ridge Road being a swamp instead of a road. The fields on either side were the same, but the road itself was a Louisiana/Florida/Bayou/Swamp thing with hot, moist air, dragon flies, grasses, alligators, everything you could want (though the water was clear as day).

And I was walking along the broken up boards that served as this sorta river trail following the path of the road. Slats were missing in places and it was a distinctive walnut color, and it was rickety and I could smell the heat of it like being on a dock in the summer time.

And as I was walking along I knew I was heading toward Harris Hill farm but instead of the farm it was the Pirate Tavern bar that I dream about fairly often.

(as I'm thinking about it, it kinda has the air of a setting in a Curse of Monkey Island game crossed against Diablo II)

But before I can get into the tavern there was a crowd of tourists wading through the water nearby. Like, the most stereotypical hawaiian shirt white-sunscreen-on-nose and flyfishing capped tourists you could imagine. And they were lost looking for their fan boat but I didn't know where it was - but I also didn't want them to find the Pirate Tavern bc it's a secret and my co-owner Matt Sch would be mad if we had to relocate AGAIN bc non-pirates had found us.

And in my dream I am DISTINCTLY aware that LAST TIME there were also VAMPIRES there, but Skye Collins had bought out their half of that Pirate-Vampire Tavern to own it outright as JUST a Vampire Tavern so this time I went into business with Matt. Not Lithrick, Matt.

And I was -upset- in my dream until I 'remembered' that I hadn't skipped out on Skye and the Vampirate Tavern, I'd just opened another location with a different partner after reaching an amicable business deal. We still traded aligator blood grog for peat moss from the other location to serve a certain cocktail with at THIS one.

___

Had a dream last night that I was diving on a whale fall. But either I was minuscule or the whale was super gigantic bc the rib bones were these looming spires like I was watching a stroll under redwood trees through a low fisheye lense.

Thinking about it I can totally piece out the different dives that meshed to make this dream up.

The stalactites from the Blue Hole, The gelatinous muck on the bottom in the St. Lawrence The cold from the Brownstone Quarry

___

If we want to talk about a fever dream... last night I had a dream about being trapped on a volcanic island while the whole chain of volcanoes were erupting.

The evacuation was happening but I went back to the house for the animals and got stuck there. And other neighbors who couldn't get out in time were coming over with their pets and supplies.

I was watching the lightning and the ash fall outside when I saw three red colored golden retrievers but I could only get two of them to come inside and I spent the rest of the dream upset and trying to find the third one. I found other animals trying to hide from the ash and storm, but I woke up before finding that 3rd golden.

The lava flows were coming down the mountain too.

___

Dream time. So. A classical vampire and an actual bat demon are out on the town looking for something to do when they come across a nail parlor.

What a great idea, they think! We'll get manipedis and then do brunch over at IKEA.

But when they go into the nail parlor there is far too much religious imagery to be comfortable and the demon doesn't want to stay anymore so they go back outside all sad.

Vampire suggests they just kill and eat the occupants of the nail parlor and find something else to do with their day off.

Demon agrees to the plan but they have this 'thing' where when the two of them murder a bunch of people they leave a haiku written in the blood on the wall.

They begin to argue because they both have different accents and can't decide on the syllable count for a certain word.

___

So there's a string of tall, skinny houses in Litchfield after 'The Church' that usually feature in any nightmares I tend to have. Last night did not disappoint.

The lineup was this:

🏚🏠🏡🏠 An empty house, My house, the neighbor's house, and then for some reason my grandmother's house.

And we had gone next door to the neighbor's house for dinner, even though we knew it was dangerous to be outside of our house after dark. But as we gathered in their entryway the spotlights on the rest of the neighborhood started turning on and we knew we had stayed too late.

"They" were out there. You were safe in the daylight, you were safe at night as long as you didn't open your doors. BUT now it was night. And we had to get home.

So we slip out the door and we can hear the neighborhood using birdcalls to communicate the 'all clear'. As we are going down this overgrown embankment toward our house we see it.

One of them.

And then we hear someone sound the alarm, a series of owl hoots. It distracts the thing for a moment and we think we could slip away but it turns and starts trying to get into our house so we run to the empty one next door and JUST barely make it.

Dream me's mother and little sister make it into the screened in porch just ahead of me and I fall in and turn and only just get the door closed in time when It attacks.

It was a zombie. Or a ghoul. Or something. a woman with a bloody face and terrible teeth and honestly it looked like Reagan from the Exorcist and she launched herself against the screen door which I'm trying to keep closed.

I know she can't get in the door but then she makes this horrible noise and says,

"You won't be safe for long. We're getting stronger,"

And the door is almost coming off its hinges but I -know- as long as I keep the door closed at night we are safe and then she laughs and presses her face to the screen and says,

"I'll just get in tomorrow morning. Before you're awake. Because, really, what difference does the sun or stars make? I'll get in tomorrow,"

And then I woke up.

____

My dream last night was so complicated I can barely keep it straight.

I was some grizzled, older ex-con dude pulled out of my soft retirement as a school bus driver because a child genius was being used as the catalyst for the robot war apocalypse by his wealthy mother's greedy board of directors.

And somehow I had a time machine that I was gonna use to bring the kid back to the beginning of all the issues and he was gonna start sabotaging the dangerous inventions so he could just be a regular child genius instead of responsible for global-scale mass murder.

At one point I had thrown the kid's manifesto at him but he hadn't actually read it bc it was too big and there were no pictures but also bad language and he asked me what "twat" meant and the kid was horrified that they would use that kind of language. Like he was ambivalent about the murders but bad language was crossing a line.

And as part of my "wait. He's just a kid I can help him instead of kill him" epiphany for some reason I looked out the time machine window and saw my old motorcycle which was painted in blue tiedye pattern and that memory moved me enough to offer to help the kid.

So the kid grabbed his froggy backpack and offered to give me all of his science fair winnings (which was like. Hundreds of thousands of dollars and two telephoto camera lenses for some reason. And a green and purple feather boa) but I just took enough to buy a new motorcycle and told him to hide it from his past mother so they're not suspicious.

___

Okay subconscious, doing laundry with the elves of mirkwood is NOT becoming a reoccurring dream. Three times is enough. Stop now. ____

I was an undercover secret agent posing as the nanny to a royal family's children. The children had a pool party for the oldest's birthday, and I was in charge of the yacht rides in the aquarium tank. Halfway through the dream, Pirates attacked with large assault rifles, trolls, and fire elementals. I managed to save some of the children, but then Katina was healing the ones that had been injured when a Shadow quick deathbed them and I had to resort to Improv comedy to keep the remaining kids from screaming as their friends turned to ghosts around us. None of the adults would listen to me that the attack had been planned, they were convinced that it was random, and despite the fact that I had a way to turn back time and catch the one woman who had started the fight they refused to do anything but complain that dinner had been delayed.

[athenadcvell]

How about Matt Murdock(Daredevil) or Bucky Barnes? You can choose one or do both if you’d like ;)

Oh my God. OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO NAME TWO OF MY FAVS?!?!?!? Fosho doing both bc they are my babies

How I feel about this character: LOVE OF MY FUCKING LIFE. MY BABIES. I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH. Matt is such an interesting hero to watch with so much depth and character angst, but he’s still so pure and adorable. Bucky is my poor baby who needs a hug, but he could also shoot and me I’d probably thank him

Who I ship romantically: Matt and Claire owned me for the .05 seconds that they had a kinda sorta relationship (thing?). I adored them together, but sadly, they did not make it. As for Bucky, I’m ngl, I don’t ship him hardcore with Steve. Do I ship them? Ofc, you’d have to be a fool not to. However, I tend not to go hardcore on fanon ships bc more than half of them time, it ain’t gonna happen. So, knowing full well Marvel will probably never make Bucky gay/bi (especially now that Steve is all old and wrinkly), I move on the Plan B: NatBucky. They are, without a doubt, one of my top three comic book couples, and it’s been hinted at in the movies a few times. If I had to pair Nat or Bucky with anybody that had a chance of making it into the movies, it would be each other

My non romantic otp: AVOCADOS AT LAW!!! I love Matt and Foggy with all my heart. I was so sad when they had their falling out, but was I smiling like a damn fool once they went back into business. Too bad Marvel decided to kill off the show before it could even air. As for Bucky, I have two. First off is Sam. Ik a lot of people ship them romantically, and I low-key do, but I honestly appreciate their friendship so much more. The whole enemies thing they have going, but being there for each other when they need it... I think it’s a really pure thing. Also, though this friendship has barely been explored yet in the MCU, Sharon and Buck. They have a very loyal friendship in the comics, and I can’t wait to see what they do with it in The Falcon and Winter Soldier show. 

My unpopular opinion: I wasn’t the biggest fan of Matt and Karen. They made a cute couple, but never really clicked for me. I think they just weren’t exactly ready for a relationship when they got together, and it felt kind of forced. I don’t know if this is exactly unpopular, but I hated what the Russos did to Bucky in Endgame. He deserved so much better than to just be left behind after all the trauma he went through. 

One thing I wish would happen/happened in canon: I don’t know, what do I wish would have happened with Matt... MAYBE HIS FUCKING SHOW NOT GETTING CANCELLED??? I wanted, no, needed more Matt Murdock content, and now I will never get it. I will forever be salty about that. As for Bucky, it would be real neat if he could maybe say more than two fucking sentences per movie, don’t ya think? This show is going to give me life

SEND ME MORE REQUETS PLZ! MARVEL (movies and shows) AND DC (comics or movies/shows)!!! THESE ARE SO FUN I AM BEGGING YOU!!!

[mccrps]

Stay Ignorant || Draco Malfoy

A/N: WOWOWOWW I am so sorry this took me literally the entire summer to write. But I just saw Don Broco a few weeks ago and I was like yass bitchhhh Matt Donnelly run me overrr and ugh, I wish I even had the chance to make eye contact with that mf because gOTTTTDAMMMMnnNNn he is so fiIIIIINNNNnnnnEEEE. The things I would do to that man, mm mm mmmmmmm. Alright let me stop being so fucking thirsty. I’m so sorry this took forever but I hope I did it justice. Thank you Anon <3

Warning: Some cursing and Draco being a complete dick. Some angst bc I’m an asshole anddd mention of drugs.

Word Count: 1,017

It was the same feeling you got when you were high. 

That numb, relaxed feeling that made you forget everything bad if even just for a moment.

It was the same exact feeling, singing at the top of your lungs while your favorite singer was moving his body and belting it out on stage. 

You knew your best friend felt the same about concerts, you’d watched her a few times and you saw the dazed goofy grin on her face to know that’s exactly you looked whenever you two went to a show. 

You didn’t think you’d ever get tired of it, hearing certain songs for months hell even years on end and completely obsessing over every band member. 

It was the most fun you’d had in weeks and suddenly you felt so good about being muggle born. You didn’t know anything magic wise that would be the equivalent of this, living in this moment. 

You felt for a second, knowing there were people out of there who had never once experienced watching someone they’d admired for years sing the songs they grew up listening to. The songs that shaped them into the people they were now. 

You had to take Draco to a concert, that is, if he could stand being around so many non magical people at once, you knew he would have a great time too. You smiled warmly, thinking about your boyfriend and how you couldn’t wait to tell him when you got back from break.

You didn’t see Draco until dinner time, Prefect duties and all. The waiting only made you more antsy and excited to see him.

When dinner rolled around you couldn’t help yourself, you practically ran into the Great Hall, searching for the platinum blonde. When you spotted him you half ran towards him, and hugged him tightly. You immediately noticed how stiff he became, not even bothering to hug you back and even acknowledge you, giving you such a curt nod you weren’t even sure it happened at all. His friends rolled their eyes at you and snickered. You had learned to ignore them ages ago, you couldn’t help that you came from a muggle family. You would never apologize for your upbringing. This weekend had shown you what these pure blooded assholes were missing. 

Your face slowly turn into a frown still, wondering why Draco was acting so cold and you opened your mouth to say something but your fave cut you off, sitting next to you and she was still in her post concert daze, she hadn’t even taken off the bracelet. To be fair you hadn’t either, but you at least had taken off the stamp from your hand.

“I can’t believe it, you and Matt. He was totally feeling you. He was totally looking at you the entire time. I can’t believe you gave him your number at the end of the night.” She sighed, leaning on the palm of her hand.

“It was Matt Donnelly for fucks sake.”

“Yeah I know how much you love sucking his di-” You immediately elbowed your friend.

“Why are you so vulgar.” You shook your head, laughing along with her giggles.

“What did she just say?” A voice came from the other side of you and you turned to face him, your eyebrow raised in curiosity at who he was speaking to. You realized after a split second that it was you the question was for. 

“What?” You were trying to remember the entire conversation and didn’t find a single clue as to why Draco looked like he was going to murder someone. 

“What. Did. She. Just. Say.” He spoke more clearly now, a couple of people had stopped their conversations to watch the scene unfold before them.

“Draco I don’t-”

“Are you cheating on me? Who is he? How long has this been going on?” All of this blurted out of his mouth in what was about 5 seconds. 

You frowned even more, not knowing what he was talking about. You couldn’t even think straight first of all because you were still trying to get over the fact that he thought you would ever cheat on him.

“Wow, you’re not even going to defend yourself-” You cut him off, pointing a finger at him. He scooted back, looking down at your hand in such disgust you nearly starting crying. What the hell was wrong with him. 

“Don’t you dare touch me. I knew I should have never trusted you. Filthy mud blood.” And that moment was when you broke officially. You could barely hear your friend beside you cursing and very nearly punching Draco in the face had another student not held her back.

The entire time this was happening you could only look at Draco who had immediately looked away from you after his shocking outburst. He hadn’t even so much at glanced at you, knowing he could see you looking at him, stunned.

You felt someone pull your arm and you unconsciously got up and followed them out of the Great Hall.

You could excuse him assuming you were cheating, you’d  forgive him for the slight over reaction and then laugh at how he thought you  were cheating on him with some random guy you knew nothing really personal, well nothing that you and billion of other girls didn’t probably know. You would have made fun of him for getting jealous of someone you’d probably never seen face to face every again. 

All of those thing you would have forgive him for.

But those words, the words that were playing in your head over and over with the sound of his voice to accompany them.

Saying those words...you’d never forgive him for that. 

And in that moment, standing outside in the corridor as your face paced back and forth with her hands in fist, you felt the familiar numbness you had felt over the break, only this time, happiness did not follow in it’s path. It was sadness, emptiness. 

And you knew, you knew it in your heart, that this feeling would never fade.

[maternalcube]

i did an art summary so now im doing a fic summary. i was tagged by @jamthedingus also!! ive never done one of these before!! lets go!!!

Rest (13106)

Keith & Lance's Island Adventure (20631)

Atlantis (10014 words)

The Way to a Man’s Heart (6858 words)

nobody's business (2096 words)

leave, and take (557 words)

dead girl walking (1661 words)

the course of fate (1039 words)

who ya gonna call (465 words)

come here often? (806 words)

til kingdom come (1950 words)

stars in the sky (pt 2) (5404 words)

a song of falling (630 words)

Eyes to the Sky (3683 words)

Feet on the Ground (4050 words)

Divergence (6669 words)

homecoming (1426 words)

Window of Opportunity (11144 words)

along that wilderness of glass (3801 words)

string theory (2327 words)

Katt Week (1062 words)

The Pining-Plant (3860 words)

at the end of many worlds (21684 words)

you're my home (19646 words)

Believe Me (3177 words)

Starchild (3568 words)

Summer Heat (2285 words)

third time's the charm (5349 words)

Blackbird (59546 words)

The Sixth Planet (9444 words)

all the infinite realities (1197 words)

Total Fics: 31! (plus one i posted anonymously lmao) Total Words: 229999! (except parts of string theory and the sixth planet were actually posted last year... but still, what a number)

more under the cut!

Ship/character breakdown: i didnt filter out my prompt collection or abandoned wips here so /shrug Ship breakdown:

klance - 6 sheith - 5 shance - 5 katt - 4 heith - 3 pallura - 2 and one each of plance, kallura, allurance, shatt, shkatt, kidge, kidgance, and shunk. and keiths parents lol. let it never be said i am not a multishipper.

and i know gen isnt a ship but it tied with klance at 6 (plus whatevers in the prompt collection) which was a surprise

Character breakdown: man if theres a way to get ao3 to show me ALL the stats, i dont know it. but.

keith - 25 (shocker) shiro - 23 lance - 21 pidge - 17 hunk - 16 allura - 12 matt - 12 and then coran and sam are at 4, and zarkon ats 3 and presumably many others are at 3 or less

Characters that had the main focus: well ~9 were from keiths pov, and ~5 each from shiro and lances povs. i think i also had ~5 from multiple points of view. its safe to say that keith has my heart tho lol

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title: i still like “at the end of many worlds.” i weirdly still like “Blackbird” too even if it has nothing to do with anything... Worst title: “Rest.” :/ also like all of the abandoned wips bc i didnt care. and “Keith & Lance's Island Adventure.″ some of my zine fic titles were also... bad. im bad at titles.

Best/worst first line?

Best: Keith & Lance's Island Adventure. ok the title is bad but this line? this really sets the tone for whole fic. you know what youre getting yourself into here.

When Pidge invited Keith to a fully-funded graduation party aboard the Holt family boat (“the smaller one, anyway,” she’d said), this is not exactly what he'd pictured: three of them standing on a wobbly dock, packed bags at their feet, sky cloudy and gray, while the Holt siblings stand on a little ledge off the back of the boat and deny entry.

Worst: ive got two for this lol

at the end of many worlds: even i have to read this a couple times to figure out what i was trying to say. at least you know youre in for pain...

Keith’s mother shows up to interrupt movie night often enough that, this time, Keith almost doesn’t realize anything’s wrong. Almost, because she’s silhouetted by the movie, but she’s clutching her arm and panting for breath, and in the thin edge of light around her he sees a wet and vibrant red.

Divergence: because all your friends being dead is EXACTLY like losing at dodgeball. yeah, theres a reason i abandoned this one.

Hunk always hated playing dodgeball. Not because he was bad at it--though he was--but because he always ended up the last one standing, and therefore the only target for the entire other team. It was due to a tendency to hang unnoticed in the back, he knew, but that didn't change the sickening, empty feeling of looking around and realizing there's no one left but him, and there's no way he can win. Only wait for the inevitable.

This, Hunk decides, is a lot like that, only, like, a billion times worse.

Best/worst last line?

Best: The Pining-Plant. there are a few others that were cute too but this one is also good out of context so

And then the pod swishes open and he's scrambling to catch Pidge as she stumbles out. She clings to his arms to steady herself and his heart swells.

"Falling for me again, huh?" he asks, and she groans loudly.

"Let me go, I'm getting back in the pod," she says, and he laughs. He doesn't let go, and neither does she.

Worst: if im bad at titles, im worse at endings. most are bad. i suspect the ending to “Rest” is terrible but i cant bring myself to even open that shit again so: Believe Me. if weather were a recurring theme in this fic, itd be fine, but as is its just... a weird note to end the fic on lmao

Hunk rocks back on his heels. "We aren't counting this as our official first date, right?"

"I dunno," Keith says, and now he smiles at the rain instead of frowning. It shows no sign of easing up, but whatever—they're soaked anyway. "This seems pretty good to me."

“...All right.” If nothing else, it’ll make a good story. And, Hunk had to admit—he’s pretty happy with how it’s turned out, rain and all.

But next time, he's double-checking the forecast, just in case.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

more than i expected! considering ive been in grad school all year!! i wrote about the same amount wordcount-wise in 2017 which i spent only half in school so. idk how i managed it.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

the anonymous fic was a surprise but im not gonna talk about that lol. otherwise... nah, its all been my usual stuff.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

blackbird, probably. i like working on that one. summer heat was also fun, id sort of forgotten about it bc it was a zine fic but coming back to it, i really liked it. likewise with third time’s the charm. and i like t6p a lot even if i kinda hate drawing for it :’)

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

depends on your metric. window of opportunity has the most kudos, keith and lance’s island adventure has the most hits, and t6p has the most comments and subscriptions. 

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

AT THE END OF MANY WORLDS. oh man i killed myself over that fic. it was important to me. but i think the mcd scared everyone off :’)

Story that could have been better?

i realize “all of them” is kind of a cop out answer but like

Sexiest story?

i have written nothing sexy, ever, in my whole life

Saddest story?

i mean, ateomw. considering all the death. blackbird def has its moments too.

Most fun?

i feel like i answered this in the favorite story q lmao. you’re my home also gets a shoutout, that thing was,, super self-indulgent lmao. and id be lying if i said i didnt have fun with parts of ateomw, even if its mostly sad.

Story with single sweetest moment?

man i write a lot of fluff but so much of you’re my home is just tooth-rotting. heres part of the proposal scene lmao

"Lance!" Keith yelps, barely rescuing the ring from falling into the sand with them. Lance pushes himself up on his arms, silhouetted by the sun and glowing with it.

"Really?" he asks breathlessly.

"Yeah," Keith says, and maybe he should've prepared something to say, that's a thing people do, right? Hell, he's winging it. "I know we can't stay here on Earth forever, 'cause we're paladins, and there's still stuff out there we gotta do. And I know you probably want to stay because this is your home—but you're my home, and if we gotta go, at least you'll have me, good or bad." He grins crookedly. "Or rocket science. Whatever happens, I'll be there."

Hardest story to write?

well t6p gets a shoutout, but its not the writing thats the hard part for that. uhhh ive struggled with parts of blackbird. i remember k&l’s island adventure giving me a LOT of trouble, i think i posted late lol

Easiest/most fun story to write?

anything short uhhh for all the infinite realities, i kind of just sat down the other day (actually i was in bed but) and was like “im gonna write this” and then in the morning i just sat down and wrote it in one go. i dunno if id call it fun, but it was easy. t6p is super fun to write but, as mentioned, drawing it sucks.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

no... my perceptions probably have shifted but not due to anything i wrote in particular. i did talk myself into liking allurance with a prompt fill, though, but im not sure that was 2018...

Most overdue story?

all the infinite realities lmao. at the end of many worlds needed that happy ending. and another shoutout to t6p, because thats been going on over a year and im still nowhere.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

does posting my abandoned wips count? ive still got some of those hanging around... blackbird was a bit of a risk bc my last longfic was written while i was unemployed and out of school, so like i had the time for it, and now i kinda dont. still chugging tho. ateomw b/c of all the death but it turns out i really like writing whump woops. and writing any sort of kissing always feels like a risk bc i suck at it but im getting better lol... i hope...

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

write more! finish things! do more sheith! i really want to work on this sheith longfic i came up with the other day... but i want to get blackbird over with first.

Tagging: eh! do it if you want to!