#I can’t wait to keep creating with BAP :)

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

the episode isn’t going to be public for a little while but I really do just want to say thank you to everyone who kept talking to me about BAP, who kept asking questions, kept encouraging my posts about them and were genuinely interested in something I was creating. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without yall <333

[stealingpotatoes]

Trying to Explain the Desmond (sorta) Lives AU: Part 2

(part one)

(hi I’m back and I was bothered to write more explanation. bla bla sorry for the mess also this bit was acccidentally lengthy and 2.5k words, whoops)

> > > >

Shaun and Rebecca more-or-less knew they were going to find Desmond. They more-or-less knew they were going to see him. They more-or-less knew that he was going to be all glowing like he was in the footage. This being said, they weren’t really prepared for um… any of that to actually happen. 

Desmond is standing here, he is talking. He is moving.  Alive. Shaun and Becs are across from him, silent and dumbfounded at the sight of their long-dead friend. 

(I need you, my darling reader, to think of the most confused and shocked you’ve ever been in your life, and then bap, you’ve more or less got what’s going on in this room tbh.)

“Desmond?” Shaun finally asks in shock. 

“...yeah?” Desmond answers, obviously very confused at Shaun’s tone. 

“Holy shit,” whispers Rebecca. 

“What happened? We were in the Temple and- and then suddenly I’m here and I’ve got… these?” He gestures vaguely to himself-- the Isu markings.

What he said is enough to sort-of snap the duo out of their shock enough. “What?”

“Yeah, what?” Des agrees.  

“No, no. The temple-- 2012… that was six years ago. And you...” Rebecca says (still looking at Des with an expression that can only be described as ‘what in the genuine fuck’). 

Shaun and Rebecca wouldn’t have even noticed Galina coming up behind them if it hadn’t been for Desmond’s slight shift into near ready-to-fight, tho he relaxes after a second (his eagle vision’s still there and says she’s an ally). 

Shaun and Becs manage to take their eyes off Desmond for long enough to glance back at Galina, who’s come to find them. 

“You were not replying on your comms--” Galina stops and takes a proper look at the man behind them. “Oh. He does not look dead.” Then back at Shaun & Becs; “We all need to go.”  

Desmond is somehow even more confused than he was earlier. “Why would I look dead? And-- who are you?” 

Shaun has manners, even in very confusing situations; “This is Galina. She’s an Assassin. And Galina, meet… Desmond Miles.” (audible question marks) 

Shaun and Rebecca share an awkward glance. “We’ll explain everything when we get to safety?” Becs says, though she’s really not sure how they are going to explain, or what they’re even going to explain.  

The two random assassins who don’t have names also came out of the fight fairly unhurt and meet up with the rest of them. They’re pretty weirded out to see a person with glowy lines on his face, and have heard of Desmond Miles’ death. However they’re obviously not as weirded out to see him alive because they just didn’t know him. They’re probably doing the best here lol. 

Galina’s pretty confused but she’s become very good at compartmentalising over the years, so isn’t dwelling on things right now. 

Shaun and Rebecca are-- okay, to say Shaun and Becs are “dealing” with this is definitely the wrong word. They’re moving forward like Assassins should, while trying to comprehend that Desmond is right there… and also trying not to look at him too wide-eyed and shocked.  To them, everything feels like it’s going way too fast and way too slow all at once.

The trio and Galina all get into a van and head out of there, not planning on waiting for more Abstergos. 

//

They reach an old Assassin safehouse outside of the city after a very Odd drive. The two unnamed Assassins stayed in the city to keep investigating and keep up their work before, so now it’s just Shaun, Becs & Desmond in the safehouse with Galina on watch outside. 

They get in, make sure they’re safe -- protocol stuff. But Des really needs some answers. Like right now.

“What happened?” Desmond asks. This time it’s very serious, and you can almost feel the hundreds of years of killers’ lives he’s lived behind his voice. 

Shaun and Becs share yet another look. The disbelief hasn’t worn off at all, but they’re, as I said, moving forward. “What’s the last thing you remember?” Shaun asks. 

It quickly comes to light that Desmond has no memory of what happened after touching the Eye-orb-thing in the Temple. It’s just “a helluva lot of pain” in December 2012 and then boom, waking up in the middle of a city (shut, i know i still haven’t thought where), in October 2018. He also can’t recall bursting out of that Abstergo facility either -- his memory seems to start from where the weird glowing-eyes-and-apple-light thing he had going on stopped. 

“But the Temple was six years ago?” Desmond quietly half-asks, half-states. 

“Yeah...” says Rebecca. 

“Then where have I been for that time.” 

“You died.”

“What?!”

Shaun takes over; “Or at least, we thought you died. In 2012, we got clear from the Temple as you told us to. But then Abstergo, they--” (how on earth do you say this) “They got there before we could. They took your body and...” 

“But obviously you didn’t die because you’re here.” Becs gestures at Des. 

“Right,” Shaun agrees unsurely.

Des nods slowly, trying to take this all in. “But that doesn’t explain… all this.” he gestures to the Isu markings on his face. “Or what I can do.” 

“Do you know what you can do?” Becs asks. She and Shaun don’t really know what was happening w Des’ whole abilities thing at ALL because they only saw a small bit recorded.

Des shrugs, but then unzips the definitely-stolen-hoodie a bit and pulls the opening to the side so his bare collarbone is on show. “I got shot when I… when I woke up.” Rebecca makes yet another confused expression. “There’s nothing there?” She’s right; there’s no wound, no blood there. Not even a scar.

“Exactly.” 

“Oh.” 

“I heal faster, I know that. And--”

“What’s that?” Shaun numbly gestures to his own chest where a scar starts on Desmond’s. It’s not like either of them have seen Des shirtless much at all before, but that wasn’t there in 2012, they’re pretty sure. 

Des looks down then unzips the hoodie a bit more and oh. 

Shaun and Becs didn’t notice that on the security footage. Tbh Desmond barely noticed it, too busy looking at the glowiness. But that’s an autopsy scar. Des has an autopsy scar. That’s...

Desmond zips his hoodie back up, but everyone in the room is Very Confused. 

This is even more question-mark-inducing and raises about a billion questions; Did they do an autopsy on an alive person (for the sake of taunting the assassins)? Shaun and Becs wouldn’t put it past Abstergo; the Templars are messed up like that. 

Or… did Desmond genuinely die? And did Abstergo… bring him back somehow? 

Either way, Shaun’s mentally decided the “weird Isu clone of Desmond” idea is probably wrong because why would they autopsy a clone of a dead man?? makes no sense.  

There’s more long pauses of bewilderment before Rebecca makes the very good suggestion that they all have something to eat. So yeah, they eat, they’re chatting. It’s mostly basic stuff. They should definitely have all had medical checkups first, but they’re all very much too confused and in shock to do like… anything. 

It’s a bit awkward at one point (more awkward than the ENTIRE ordeal of seeing your dead friend again has been) because Shaun catches himself before telling Des a part of a story that involves secret Assassin crap and stops awkwardly. 

Desmond seems to catch on, and he’s like “I get it. Abstergo might have done something to me.” Made him a mole or a sleeper agent like Daniel Cross. 

Shaun and Becs feel really bad, but Desmond’s got this weird air of resignation about him. He understands. He knows he might be all messed up and controlled by Abstergo. That being said, the general resignation might just be pure shock at everything. A Lot Has Happened to him in a Very Short Span of Time (to him). 

They continue on chatting, mostly inane shit. Desmond asks if his parents are… still around. Shaun and Becs assure them they’re fine, though still fighting. Say a little about how William took Des’ death really hard, (no duh), and dropped out of the fight for a year. Only came back after finding out what Abstergo did to Des’ corpse (or… alive body???) -- tho the duo try to avoid saying what Abstergo did for now. 

However there’s another pause when Rebecca is, in very vague terms, explaining what happened in London in 2015. Rebecca starts telling Des what the Shroud is when she pauses and looks like she’s just solved some complicated code.

“I thought you were skipping the secret details?” Des asks.

“This isn’t that-- the Shroud heals people. Like, really fast,” Rebecca says.

Shaun gets where she’s going. “Ah... so say if someone got shot, it would heal almost immediately. And there would be no scar or visible wound afterwards.” 

Desmond takes a moment, and then he’s like “...you think I have the Shroud’s powers?” 

Now this doesn’t really solve any questions, and if anything creates more… but it adds something? Heck, this is all so confusing for everyone involved.

Anyways at some point they decide to actually all go to sleep. Galina’s still here btw, she also goes to sleep lol. Though before they do go to their own beds, Shaun and Becs have a quick chat about how weird this all is. Very Weird. 

Uh yeah so shrugging noises, Galina at some point the next day is assured the trio will be fine on their own and heads back to the city to investigate with unnamed Assassins. 

At some point they do actually do medical checkups lol, and comes up as, overall, Good. Desmond is pretty spritely for a dead guy. 

However they run into an issue: the DNA thingie just Isn’t Cooperating. It won’t sequence it. Probably definitely because they don’t have any tech that can get his wacked-up now-a-lot-more-isu DNA. But it also means they can’t check to see if he’s got the same DNA as he did. So yeah. 

For Rebecca and Shaun, it’s weird how quickly everything starts to feel like old times. As if they might be back in Monteriggioni, or the Temple, hiding out from the Abstergo and the Templars, as if the six year gap never happened. I mean- it’s not quite the same, obviously. Desmond glows now, and there’s always Something to remind them that they thought he was dead, that he was gone -- that something might be Wrong with him. 

Desmond’s, on the other hand, in this very awkward place. Aside from the fact he now has superpowers (which he doesn’t yet know the extent of), he’s also dealing with the fact he was supposedly dead for 6 years. That the world moved on without him and his friends haven’t seen him for six years. 2012 feels like days ago to him, not years. Shaun and Becs are very happy to have him back -- but Desmond didn’t know he was ever gone . So where they’re nostalgic for old times, he can’t help but only notice the differences? 

They need to find out what the heck happened in the 6 years they thought Des was dead. Seeing as the Abstergo facility that Desmond escaped from is -- funnily enough -- crawling with Abstergo agents that would very much like to get the three of them, (and that the trio has been told to lay low and try to go as dark as they can for now, while they all try to figure out what’s happening w Desmond) going back there to find crap out isn’t an option right now. So what Rebecca and Shaun are doing -- with a bit of help from Desmond, though he isn’t a tech guy or necessarily allowed to go into the Assassin database stuff yet -- is trying to scrounge up anything they can on Des and the missing six years.

They’re also slightly trying to work out some of Des’ powers, but they’re wary of him using them too much as Abstergo might pick up on whatever power traces he’s giving off. Shaun thinks Desmond definitely has a second PoE-based ability, and thinks it may be the Apple. 

One of the first nights, Desmond asks Shaun and Rebecca what they are going to do if Des turns out to be a sleeper or something. They can’t actually come up with an answer. 

Tbh, the search for info isn’t going brilliantly, even with two of the Assassin’s best searchers on the case. There are other assassins and PLENTY of Initiates looking for info across the world too -- Desmond just… coming back is a very big thing, and moreso is how he came back (ie all Isu-y). They haven’t heard any word from their mentor, Mr Miles senior, though. 

But then Rebecca has an idea! If Desmond’s conscious memory doesn’t know what happened, maybe his genetic memory does? Small issue: they don’t have an animus with them. So they ask for one ig lol. 

Anyways, they’re all chilling, researching, and trying to get to grips with the INSANE idea of EVERYTHING, ya know? Friendship hours. Catching up -- tho Des doesn’t have much to tell. There’s also emotional times!!! Shaun and Becs getting to say what they never had the chance to say while Des was alive, hugs, talking a little bit about the fact that his death (or “death”, perhaps) hit them Hard (though it’s difficult to talk about for all three). 

The first piece of the puzzle that they get isn’t from somewhere they expect. 

About a week after Desmond showed up (so after about 4-5 days of them being at the safehouse), Layla Hassan gets out of Atlantis. She’s just done the Trials via Kassandra and got the staff of Hermes Trismegistus (...in doing so, losing one teammate and gaining some anger issues. oops). Layla’s not that important yet. What is important right now is when she opened Atlantis.

Layla doesn’t have an exact time as to her opening the gates, but guess what happened very soon after the rough time she opened it? One Desmond Miles burst out of an Abstergo facility, glowing like your overly-dramatic neighbour’s Christmas lights display. 

So then this all just adds more mystery to the uh... Mystery™. Did opening Atlantis resurrect him? Did it give him these powers for some reason? If so, why?? The gang also find out/ the Assassins overall realise that opening Atlantis caused some weird powersurge in every PoE -- but if that caused some kind of surge in Desmond too, does that mean he’s a Piece of Eden now? He has the powers of at least one, PoE now, they know, so���? There are too many questions and nowhere near enough answers. 

The trio is itching to get out there and start investigating themselves -- but they’re told that there’s another assassin coming to join the three of them soon (it’s protocol to not say Who), before they start doing anything, and that they should wait for them. Also said Assassin is bringing one of them mini-animuses (animi? whatever; the one Layla has in ACOd) so they can do the genetic memory thing like Becs suggested. 

So I guess it’s time for more waiting, for whomever the assassin may be...

[onestowatch]

Your Grandparents Manifest a Cinematic, Soulful Debut Album With ‘Thru My Window’  [Q&A]

Photo: Jordan Perez

Inspired by everything from ‘90s boom bap artists like Digable Planets and the Pharcyde to modern funk legends like Outkast and D'Angelo, Your Grandparents have quickly proven themselves to be their generations' torchbearers for the psychedelic soul movement. 

Using a variety of recording techniques to get the desired effect for their genre-blending debut album Thru My Window, the group credits their uniquely cohesive sound to their years-long friendship, which began in their early teens. With their lush grooves, breezy, clear vocals, a sonic aesthetic built on unwavering authenticity, and of course, a deep love for their roots and deep musical traditions passed down from their grandparents, Your Grandparents embodies what it means to be an artist to watch.

Ones To Watch had a chance to talk with the trio, comprised of DaCosta (vocals), Jean Carter (vocals), and Cole, aka ghettoblasterman (producer), to discuss their inspirations and the long days and nights that went into creating their debut album.

When you last spoke to Ones To Watch, it was for the release of your single "So Damn Fly," and now, a year later, here we are talking about the release of your debut album, Thru My Window. How are you all feeling, and what have you learned about yourselves in this last year through the album-making process?

DaCosta: From a personal outlook, I've learned that making music is heavily dependent on my mood, or just how I'm feeling and what's going on in my personal life. When things are a little too stagnant, it's a little harder to write. On the other hand, when things are flowing, and life is being lived, it's easy fuel. It's good fuel. It doesn't burn too quickly.

GBM: I've learned that no idea is too wild. It's usually less wild than I think it is.

Jean: Yeah, it's better to start at the extreme and take away. I realized I feel like a lot of artists feel like they have to put themselves through turmoil or allow certain situations to write meaningful things. Like it's not necessarily good music, but it's something that means a lot to them. I think I realized that that's not the case and inspiration comes in many different forms. It could be a person or something completely random and inanimate that makes you feel something.

What were some of those inspirations?

Jean: Definitely films.

GBM: A lot of films!

Jean: Yeah, we're all pretty big film people. We do all our own videos pretty much, and it just comes from this love of film that we've had that got nurtured in high school. We were blessed enough to have a really dope film program that Sony funded and stuff, and so we got like an impromptu film education before we graduated. So by the time we graduated, we knew how to get our own projects done without reaching out to someone else and then taxing us because they want to hire their friends and all that stuff. So because of that, we had complete creative control. I've also been watching a lot of Korean movies lately. Not during the album—wait, actually, during the album, there were a lot of old kung fu movies and blaxploitation movies from, like, the ‘70s. Also, my friend got me this Curtis Mayfield record, and "So Damn Fly" is definitely heavily influenced by that whole record.

GBM: I feel like the ‘70s in general, the ‘60s and ‘70s, definitely had a big inspiration on the aesthetic and the kind of sound we were going after. Especially with "So Damn Fly" and "Tomorrow" and those kinds of songs.

Do you feel like this album has a linear story the same way a film does, or do you feel like it's more of an anthology of the band's personal experiences?

GBM: It's kind of a mix of both.

Jean: Yeah, it started off as an anthology, and then we pieced together the story, which was largely done by Cole by sitting there and being like, “Hmmm.”

DaCosta: Yeah, it was a lot of Cole dissecting the words and putting them on the tracks.

Jean: When we're writing the words and trying to be free-flowing and expressive and stuff, we're not fully conscious of a bigger picture situation. Instead, Cole is sitting there producing everything and putting in the music and being just more of a listener than anyone else could. So he has the context, and he could find a story that we didn't know we were doing together with our three minds and in our three different lives.

GBM: It's like a puzzle almost, because I'll be sitting there at like 2 a.m. in my bed, listening to the songs, and I'm like, "Ok, Kyle said, that in the hook, so this song has to go before that," and so on and so forth. It's like a storyboard kinda.

Right, to keep the record's "plot" cohesive and self-referential.

GBM: Another big consideration was playlists. I love making playlists, and I know Kyle loves making playlists, too, so it needed to flow. It just has to flow. We didn't want songs that juxtapose each other or have opposite vibes be back to back.

DaCosta: Yeah, I think we even switched around the playlist a couple of times before we had it set in stone.

GBM: There were like fourteen songs originally, and then we got talked down to ten.

Jean: Fourteen tracks woulda went crazy!

I'm sure fans would love a deluxe version of the album at some point! So what were some of the rough draft ideas before you set these ten tracks in stone?

Jean: There were more modern-sounding tracks. The more time we spent on a project, and this being our debut, we wanted to be true to the name. We wanted to be true to the artistry that had gotten us to this point.

DaCosta: There were a couple of heavier hip-hop tracks there too.

Jean: We had been doing that, and a lot of people haven't even heard those because they're like heavy hip-hop stuff from when we were in high school and like early college.

Were there any tracks on the record that challenged you?

Jean: "Intoxicated" challenged me. I had a whole different verse. The conception of that song—I was just venting about whatever I was going through at the time, and one of my homies was like, "It's not sexy enough!" So I was just like, "What? No! I've done sexy stuff on all the other songs. Just let me vent!" So I tried another verse, and we ended up going with that one instead.

DaCosta: I mean, it worked out great though...

Jean: I mean, yeah, it sits nicely on the song, and now I have a verse for something else one day when it's time for it.

GBM: Yeah, that song went from being all of ours and everyone on our team's favorite song to our least favorite song. I will say that recording the instruments for the album was fun, but there were definitely some long hours. We had a drummer and bassist come through, and they played for like twelve hours straight doing all the songs. So the songs that have live drums on them were all done in that one day, and they even did songs we recorded that didn't make it on the final record. I think we started at 1 p.m. and we ended at 1 a.m. It was crazy.

What song are you most excited for people to hear when the album drops?

Jean: I think people are gonna like "Comfortable" a lot. Honestly, I haven't listened to the record in a while because it's existed in our world for a minute. We had just posted the visuals for that song today, and I was feelin it.

DaCosta: I think people are gonna really like "Digest." For me, it gives me that "it" factor.

GBM: I think "Red Room." It's my personal favorite and one of the more fun ones to me. It's just a good time!

You mentioned earlier that you try to maintain creative control when making your music videos and coming up with concepts for visualizers. What is your creative process like?

DaCosta: We definitely sit down, and we go through everything from storyboard to shotlist and just take and grab inspiration from all over the place. For "So Damn Fly," there was that That 70's Show shot where they're all sitting around the table, and it's spinning. So there are all types of really cool influences, and we just try to use those and make everything unique to us.

GBM: I think we kind of go through a three-step verification. The idea has to go through all three of us before it becomes something else or moves on to actually being tested out or put into picture. So that kind of attributes to the very solid identity we aim for.

It sounds like that impromptu film education you mentioned earlier has really set you up for success in creating your videos.

Jean: Yeah. My high school film teacher, Miss Butler, I took that class for two years, and then when I couldn't take it anymore, I became a TA. So then I took the after-school class, and I just spent hella hours pretty much ruining the way I enjoyed cinema and teaching myself like—she would have us look and watch these classic movies and be like, this is what they did wrong.

Can you give me an example of a classic film you would watch and critique?

Jean: The first one that comes to mind is Rear Window. I watched it a few times, just because I had taken the class a couple of times. She talked about how the set that they made and the world that they created, they had full control over. Just seeing older films and how simple things were a lot more complicated then. Like you can't just delete a take and wipe your card. Everything had to be so planned out and so intentional. You gotta do shit on purpose. It's just a lot of thinking and planning, and sometimes, I feel like it's more challenging to have more people involved in a film production sometimes because of the growing degrees of communication. With the small groups that we usually keep, everyone's on the same page as us. All of us took this same class, so we all have a similar workflow.

DaCosta: Yeah, our organization when it comes to films, we're all pretty much on the same page. You know, with what was going to happen, who's doing what, who's in charge of what, etc.

Jean: And pre-production is the biggest thing and finding the right team because we can't shoot it and be in it. Although Cole can somehow!

GBM: I'm in one scene, and I'm like, "I'm just gonna kill this scene right now, and then I'm gonna jump back." That's why I'm only in the last scene.

Because he's doing everything else!

Jean: Yeah! Then as soon as the scene cuts, it's like, I go back to directing people, and Kyle goes back to making sure we got the next shot set up.

GBM: There were only seven people on set.

DaCosta: And four out of seven were crew members

GBM: Yeah, the DP was the only person that wasn't actually a casted character. Everybody else is like multitasking.

You'll be making your first-ever festival appearance at Day N Vegas in November. How are y'all feeling about it? 

GBM: It feels incredible!

DaCosta: I'm so so excited!

Jean: If I get excited, I get nervous. So I just aim to be focused, or I don't think about it at all.

After the release of Thru My Window, what are some long-term or short-term goals y'all are manifesting?

Jean: I think for the next album, I want it to get Best Rap Album. We went R&B on this one, but nobody knows the way that we—like yes, we rap on it, but nobody knows our actual rap potential. So I feel like that's something that needs to be lived out on the next project. It's been a minute since we were rapping, bro. There are cool people out here doing the rap thing right now, but not many people have impressed me.

GBM: I kind of want this album to open up the door to doing a lot of travel. When we got back from Paris in 2019, what we experienced during that summer gave us fuel to start this project. So I feel like if we just keep that kind of like tradition going, we just travel somewhere and just make stuff, I think it'll never get steered wrong.

DaCosta: I think I want the album to just open up doors in general. I know it's kind of a broad thing, but like, we're so diverse, and between the three of us, we can do literally anything I think in the world if we put our minds to it, and we kind of plan on doing everything that we want to do. So, I kind of want this album to open the door just so that we can you can start striding towards whatever, whether it's directing movies and videos and fucking scoring—

Jean: Or directing other people's videos!

DaCosta: Yeah, all types of shit.

Thru My Window is available everywhere you can stream it. 

[jubilantwriter]

No Idiots Were Harmed in the Making of His Reality

(AO3)  (First)  (Epilogue)

Summary:  The gang goes to an unnamed popular fast food joint after Pico commits mass murder in the name of protecting his duo of idiots.  And this is the thanks he gets.

Or:  An unfortunate fast food employee gets the misfortune of meeting the trio in their finest hour.

Word Count:  2127

////

There’s only so much a job description can prepare one for.  For instance: making burgers, serving customers, taking orders, so on and so forth.  That’s what this minimum wage job suggested she would be doing.  But it didn’t come with the fine print.  It didn’t tell her that she’d be making burgers, sandwiches, chicken nuggets, fries, so on and so forth under pressure as customers ranged from dead-inside but patient patrons to Karen levels of impatient and entitled.  There’s caveats, little sidebars, unmentioned stressors that go overlooked because her job is solely to serve the people shitty, shitty burgers.

And it barely even helps her pay rent.  The things she’s seen on the job only serves to make her wonder how long it’ll take for her to become either bitter and jaded or completely desensitized by the bullshit this hellish existence can throw at her.  Maybe it’ll be a mix of both.

The door opens and swings shut with a heavy, muted thud.  Cashier Girl looks up, already exhausted two hours into her shift as she catches sight of the next batch of cus-

Oh.  Oh no.  Oh no, they look like trouble.

A tall, bubbly young lady in a figure hugging dress smiles sweetly in that, “I’m going to try really hard not to create problems on purpose for you”, sort of way, which happens to be Cashier Girl’s favorite kind of customer.  Granted, this girl looks nothing like trouble.  She looks like the exact opposite of trouble.  But the two men she has in tow makes Cashier Girl think twice about lowering her guard around the pretty girl.  

Standing next to her is some dude with cyan-colored hair, a red cap turned backwards in a very dudebro kind of way.  He dresses sloppily, like he just rolled out of bed and threw on whatever happened to be in reach, which also just so happened to be the same clothes he wore the day before.  His clearly white shirt is stained with something… she hopes is nothing but the results of him being a messy eater.  Or maybe he got into a knife fight and won?  That has to be the answer for the mysterious, rusty stains and splatters on the right side of his shirt.  

However, the one who really sets off her anxiety radar is the taller young man standing next to the cyan shortie.  The guy is covered in blood.  Not only that, but she’s pretty sure he’s toting at least two guns on his person.  And to top it off, he’s wearing a sweater vest and a turtleneck in this kind of weather!  Granted, it is a bit chilly, but that level of layering just feels like overkill.  He glowers with his arms folded over his chest, clearly hating everything about this experience.  Is that dried blood on his face?  That is absolutely dried blood all over his face.

Cashier Girl sucks in a deep breath through her teeth and puts on a well practiced smile.  “Hello!  May I take your order?”

“Yes please!  Um,” the lady in red nudges the shorter man with a smile, “what were we going to order again?”

“Beep!”

...Beep?

“Oh!  Right!  Can we get the 2 for $5 deal?”

She could understand all of that from a single beep?!  “Of course!  And what would you like?”

“Badoop.”  The cyan-haired man nudges the blood covered ginger, and boy, did it look like Little Boy Blue was poking a stick at an angry bear.  “Skdeep!”

Having been in the industry for a long, two years has given Cashier Girl the ability to see when someone is about to take a dive into the deep end fairly quickly.  The ginger twitches an eye, lips pulled into a snarl as he breathes out a little too deeply.  Not quite like a sigh, but like a bull about to charge headfirst into a china shop on purpose.  He sucks in a harsh breath through gritted teeth and hunches his shoulders up.  Oh wow, he’s really restraining himself.

“Just get me…”  And of course Probably a Murderer understood everything Little Boy Blue said.  “The nugs and burg.” 

With the way he’s restraining himself, she wants to believe that he once worked in the same industry as her.  No wonder he’s a murderer.  Good for him, good for him.  Doing what the rest of them can’t do.  

“Alright!  And is there anything else I can get for you?”

“Hmm.”   Pretty Miss Sunshine looks over to Little Boy Blue who shakes his head before turning back to face Cashier Girl.  “I think that’s it!”

“Alright, your total comes to $5.40.”  

“Beep!”  Little Boy Blue pipes up excitedly and starts digging around in, what she assumes is, his back pocket.  The short man pulls out a crumpled, moist-looking five dollar bill.  He straightens it out, and Cashier Girl swears that a good quarter of the bill is stained with blood.  Probably a Murderer must have noticed the blood too, because he suddenly stiffens and glares at Little Boy Blue.

“...Boyfriend.”  Oh shit, are they dating?  Is Miss Sunshine just a lady friend of theirs?  “Isn’t that the fuckin’ money I lent to you a couple weeks back?”

Oh damn.  Cashier Girl looks between Blue and Murderer, Blue either oblivious to Murderer’s growing rage or too wildly confident that the bloodstained ginger won’t actually hurt him.   As interesting as the tension may be, she still needs the forty cents to complete their order.

“Sir-”

“Ba beep!”  Boy Blue nods vigorously, but she knows it’s not towards her.  Murderer lets out a long, aggrieved sigh as he massages his temples.

“So.  You’re tellin’ me.”  He points to the money on the counter and back at Boy Blue.  “You spent… how long at my apartment?  Botherin’ me for some extra cash for food, refusin’ to leave for a good few hours, and then completely forgettin’ about gettin' the fuckin’ food you were supposed to get?  After I gave you the goddamn money?”

“Oh, I remember that day!”  Pretty Miss Sunshine speaks up a little too cheerily given the mood.  “We were supposed to get some Chinese takeout, so Boyfriend disappeared for a bit to ask you for some extra money since he was short some.”  Wait, are they all dating each other?  What the hell?  “But Boyfriend came back looking all happy and without any food, and when I asked where the food was, he said he totally forgot!  We ended up just using Daddy’s credit card since I remembered I still had it, so we still got food in the end.”  Miss Sunshine beams brightly at the flabbergasted Murderer.  “You don’t need to worry about that!”

“That’s not what I was pissed about!”  For a yell worthy statement, Murderer does an awfully good job at keeping his voice reasonably leveled in this shitty fast food restaurant.  “And you had a credit card this entire time?!  Why do you fucks keep comin’ over to my place to ask for cash?!”  

“Ohhh, well, Daddy took it back after he found out I still had it.  But now I’m borrowing from Mommy instead-”

“Oh, so you just have another credit card you could be usin’ instead of my money-”

“Excuse me,” Cashier Girl says as politely as possible, seeing how Murderer’s hand is twitching over one of his guns, “but you still haven’t paid the full amount.”

“Boop!”  Boy Blue quickly begins to dig through his pockets, his confident smirk slowly morphing into a stricken grimace as his movements grow more frantic.  “Sk-skido, bap de doop-”

“Do not fuckin’ tell me you do not have forty fuckin’ cents.”

Ohhhh shit.  Cashier Girl feels torn between wanting to see Murderer fucking snap because man, they really are just running his patience into the GROUND, and wanting her goddamn forty cents so that she can move on with these customers.  Murderer’s face turns a bright shade of red as he inhales a deep breath through his nostrils and breathes out heavily through gritted teeth once more, the process repeating a few times before he reaches for his back pocket and pulls out a ratty wallet that’s literally being held together with duct tape.  Quietly, they all watch as he shakes some coins out and carefully counts out forty cents exactly.

“There,” he says softly in that tone she recognizes from parents who are this close to losing their absolute shit towards their children, “five fucking dollars and forty cents.”

Cashier Girl looks up and sees Miss Sunshine finally starting to sweat just a bit.  Still, she keeps up her cheerful demeanor as she addresses Cashier Girl.  “I think we’re good now, right?”

“Uh, yes!”  She takes the money and tries to get a read on Murderer to see if this shift will be her last one, but he’s got his arms crossed as he stares directly ahead.  The stony expression can only spell doom for the two standing next to him.  “Your number is 69,” haha nice, “and your order will be out shortly!”

“Babeep!  Pi-!”  Blue probably tries to make the same comment that Cashier Girl internally made to Murderer, but he’s quickly shut down by the dark glare Murderer shoots down.  He quickly laughs nervously and clears his throat, rubbing his arm as he looks away sheepishly.  “H-hm…  bop.”  Blue takes the receipt and nods his thanks, going over to stand by one of the dividers with Miss Sunshine in tow.  Murderer, however, remains where he stands, now making uncomfortable eye-contact with her.  Anger still rolls off of him in waves, but she’s starting to wonder if being angry is just his default.

“Oi,” he begins, and she quickly glances behind him to see if there are any other customers behind him.  None.  She’s not sure if she’s disappointed or a bit glad that there’s no one standing behind him.  “Honest opinion - you think this joint is a good enough reward for savin’ their asses?”

Oh boy.  Cashier Girl has no idea what he means by “savin’ their asses”, but if he means it literally then…  She sucks in a breath through her teeth and tries not to grimace.  He grunts in response and squeezes his eyes shut with a humorless chuckle.  “Yeah, thought so.  Really shouldn’t have taken them at their word when they said, ‘their treat’.  Ain’t nothin’ been their treat so far.”

Oof.  That’s right.  That five was originally his that Boy Blue was supposed to pay back, and the forty cents were definitely his.  The guy basically treated himself by force.  They both share a silent look before he sighs heavily.  As much as she’d kind of like to hear more of this dude’s story and why he’s even friends (datemates?  They did call Little Boy Blue, “Boyfriend”, after all) with them, she still has a job to do, and chatting with customers for longer than a certain, nondescript time could get her in trouble.  However, much to her relief, the ginger takes the initiative wordlessly and wanders back to the pair, sulking in his blood soaked clothes.  

Despite clearly looking like a group of troublemakers (especially Murderer), the three keep to themselves, Blue and Sunshine chatting amongst themselves and nudging Murderer every once in a while in some dangerous gambit to get his attention.  Each time they do that, he grips his arms tightly, before stiffly looking over to them as they jabber on about something Cashier Girl can’t hear.  All he does is nod and look away, intent on focusing on some spot on the wall and practice what she assumes is deep breathing exercises.  For a dude covered in blood, he’s doing a real good job at showing restraint.

Finally, their number is called.  Little Boy Blue grabs the bag with glee and nods his thanks to her co-worker before heading back to the group.  He practically thrusts the bag into Murderer’s face, and the ginger looks ready to bite his hand off when he catches sight of Blue and Sunshine’s faces.  They both look so… genuinely hopeful?  Like some shitty nuggets and a burger will be enough to quell his fury.  Cashier Girl is about to suck in a sharp breath when his expression softens.  He takes the bag and almost manages a smile, before seeing the blood on Little Boy Blue’s clothes and hardening his expression back into an annoyed glower.

They all leave without much fanfare.  The door slams behind them as she hums to herself, thinking back to this strange group of people who made less trouble than she expected.  A smirk rises to her face before she schools it for the next batch of customers.  

At least she knows now why he still hangs out with those friends of his.  What a softie.

[retro-rudy]

Logic- No Pressure Album Review

In summation of Logic's career, the foremost qualities that can’t go unnoticed is the dedication, respect and admiration the man has always had for the art of hip-hop. From the beginning, dating back to his Young Sinatra mix-tape series, in an era where trap beats were overtaking hip-hop, Logic arrived as a breath of fresh air with his conscious driven lyrics and entertaining flow, fueled by the boom-bap style he enjoyed from earlier influences such as Wu-Tang Clan, A Tribe Called Quest, and Mos Def. Logic lived up to the hype and expectations by delivering a successful debut album and painting a promising future, in which, considering how the industry measures success, Logic went onto surpass by reaching the heights of mainstream play and various award nominations with his next 2 studio albums. Amid the commercial success came the broader spotlight, the very one that emphasized his every move, and drew fluctuated criticism to an all-time high for the Maryland emcee. The challenges for Logic however were not the subjective opinions people had towards his music, but rather stemmed from the more personal jokes, memes, and the non-music related opinions that seemed to overshadow the music he was creating for audiences. In 2019, these unfortunate circumstances led Logic to step away from music and social media for some time with no public explanation to the reasoning of his hiatus. That was until the ever so unpredictable 2020 saw Logic emerge with a staggering album announcement accompanied by an unexpected retirement announcement.

Logic, returned in 2020 as many anticipated, with his 7th and final studio album, No Pressure. The joint announcement of album date and retirement came on July 16th, just one week before the set album release date. While the announcement was abrupt and left many with lingering questions, the 1 week wait would eventually lead fans to the clear reasoning of his decision through No Pressure’s foundation of honest and convincing lyrics.

Right out of the gates, Logic sets the tone and premise of the direction he will take the album on the opening track, No Pressure Intro. Logic applies audio from the famous Orson Wells “The Hitchhiker” introduction, which Logic chops and edits perfectly to bring us into the album. Within the edits, Logic cites No I.D and The Incredible True Story to give the intro a fun twist that adds the thematic touch many have grown accustomed to in Logic’s discography. The fundamentally ear-hitting boom-bap beat produced by NO I.D could not have been curated any better for Logic on the opener. Logic and the instrumental go hand in hand as he delivers bar after bar for over a minute and a half before reaching an abrupt interruption that catapults you into the next track. “B*tch I’m too alive, like twins in a womb, come hither, consume” and “But it cost a fee to be the boss it cost to be, over possessions like an apostrophe.” are some of the more standout bars on this intro.

           On No Pressure, Logic’s overall mood comes off positive, natural, motivated and unforced which benefits each song on this record in its own way. On songs such as Hit My Line, Celebration, and Amen, Logic’s unhinged and unpressed mind state injects everlasting life and validation to the long peace, love and positivity advocate. Logic’s comfort with his current-self shines through on Hit My Line with a confident, worry-free chorus and candid verses as he persuasively calls on god for a fixing of humanity. Logic’s positive drive has been a stapled message within his raps since the beginning of his career and the messaged remains well intact on Hit My Line and the entirety of this project. The confidence he shows when he says, “They say they don’t want messages in rap, it ruins the art. Well here I am people, yeah, now tear me apart.” further endorses his attempt of leaving it all out for this record with no regrets. Even on the track, Celebration, where Logic taps into his braggadocio side of rap to pen out the worry-free mindset he now has and how there is nothing for him to prove to anyone, you can hear the freeing mentality he has as he spits:

“It’s been a minute now; my style is feeling infinite now. Used to people pulling me down, it ain’t shit to me now. Don’t let it get to me now: threw out my phone, they can’t get to me now.”

These tracks dwell on a cheerful and flamboyant tempo that Logic ceases throughout the entirety of the tracks. The same can be said for songs like Dadbod, Perfect, and 5 Hooks, that show versatility in terms of beat choices and the ability of Logic to naturally execute each varying flow that comes off as effortlessly in this stage of his career.

           Meshed in with the collection of the more upbeat and elated-expressive tracks, Logic sprinkles in tracks built off well executed hip-hop samples that serve up a heavier dose of conscious articulated bars. Dating back to the Young Sinatra mix-tapes, Logic has never been shy to wear his influences on his sleeve, and tracks like GP4 and Man i is prove this to the be the case in present day. GP4, a nostalgic tie-in with Logic’s Growing Pains’ song collection, which we last heard on Under Pressure, contains a sample constructed from OutKasts’ Elevators song from ATLiens. Given the track record of various and well-respected hip-hop samples Logic has placed on each of the Growing Pains’ tracks, this one fits cohesively with the bunch. Much like the previous Growing Pains’, Logic leans on his story telling to paint witty and mental pictures of a variety of thoughts floating in his mind. From adolescent memories, to admitting his once determination of becoming the greatest rapper alive now being inessential, Logic goes onto acknowledge how the greatest rapper alive might not even be rapping and is instead stacking groceries at an ordinary 9 to 5 with no care in the world, resembling much how Logic feels at this point in his career. On Man i is, Logic’s maturity and growth flourishes among the inspired instrumental created out of an iconic mashup consisting of OutKasts’ SpottieOttieDopaliscious, Tarika Blues’ Dreamflower, DJ Screw and Pimp C. Logic self-reflects as he looks back on where he came from and what he endured, to which through it all has led him to this point in life where he can confidently say he is sincerely proud of the man he has become. In hip-hop it’s made well-aware that high expectations are to be met when paying homage to classics and Logic absolutely fulfills the task on this one in a form that without a doubt places Man i is among the most prominent tracks within his discography. Open Mic\\Aquarius III keeps Logic on the lyrical prowess and serves as a bridge for fans to connect with the bar for bar artillery the emcee has long had. The beat switch that takes place in this track is superb with the pure hip-hop cypher sound of Open Mic interestingly transitioning into the more jazzy and mellow Aquarius III. The high-volume of bars continues immediately on the following track, Soul Food II. The deserving sequel to one of Logic’s held in high regards track off his debut album Under Pressure. Logic retains the format of spitting a series of bars as he did in the original Soul Food. It’s warming and evident to hear the growth in both, his mentality as a human and abilities of his craft as an artist when you hear both songs in sequential order. In Soul Food II, mentally, Logic remains as humble and passionate as ever while sonically the tone and delivery of his raps resonate with the listener enough to have them capture and break down his every word. This along with the metaphors within this song is what prompts Soul Food II to standout on its own and give its predecessor a run for its money, and dare I say, maybe even edge out the original.

           On the last leg of the album is where I find Logic taking the listener towards the conclusion of the album on a pure, passion driven energy specifically due to the openness of Dark Place, and the spiritually motivating Heard Em Say. Dark Place is the first of its kind for the emcee as it is by far the most personal track Logic has ever released. While Logic has been open about personal situations before, it has never been to the degree and sentiment he lets out on the track. What was meant to remain an unreleased and personal track shares a transparent view of his feelings regarding the real toll the amount of negativity and criticism took on his mental state.

“Writin’ rhymes was easy before the fame. Now I’m constantly overthinkin’ every line, it’s a shame. Rap used to fill me with joy, now it’s nothin’ but pain. I’m stuck in the game, tryna get back from where I came.”

 The entire song contains some of Logic’s most honest and heart-breaking lyrics that transport you directly to the most difficult year he experienced as a mainstream artist. “I’d love to end this on some positive shit. Hit you with punchlines instead of some derogative shit, but it’s okay to be sad sometimes and tired of shit.. I guess.” Logic becomes as relatable to the listener as ever with his sincerity on here. And while the song might show vulnerability, it’s okay. In the end the fan and artist label are irrelevant compared to the human label we all fall under. Another evident example of the earnest connection between Logic and his Rattpack. Fittingly so, the best in my opinion is saved for last. Heard Em Say easily ranks in the top 5 of Logic's entire released discography for me. From self-producing the song, to writing one of his most heartfelt verses, the song sums up as one of Logic’s most range defining cuts from an artist standpoint. The 3rd verse on Heard Em Say is one of Logic’s best verses from his discography, and impressively so isn’t due to the depth of lyricism, but due to Logic’s infinite passion heard throughout the verse. Logic grabs you with every word and instills raw emotion and inspiration with a hopeful send off in quintessential fashion Logic has long been known for.

After Confessions of a Dangerous Mind failed to reach favorable appreciation within hip-hop enthusiasts, and his fan base respectively; the project left many wondering if perhaps Logic’s better days were behind him. With unfavorable reviews and criticism weighing heavily on the emcee, Logic spent the better part of 2019 and 2020 writing raps vigorously on his Louis Vuitton rhyme book as he mentions on the freeing Amen. Logic stated in an interview with Nick Huff Barili of Hard Knock TV, that No Pressure essentially came to fruition out of his essential love for hip-hop no longer being intact, before coming to the conclusion of ending his career and delivering a final project in the form of which he came into the game with, a project he would give his every ounce of love for hip-hop to, to showcase pure hip-hop built on a foundation of bars and verses made up of the emcee’s best abilities. With executive production from No I.D, No Pressure achieves this and sees Logic set the record straight in his place among hip-hop. In retrospect, while the time apart might have been difficult, I believe both Logic and fans of Logic in the long run reached a perfect ending of a prominent and inspiring career. No Pressure serves as a celebrated accumulation and reflection of the inspiring emcees’ hip-hop career, the final chapter that gives the fan closure and comprehension for his farewell. Logic is now free of pressure and has found happiness by obtaining the greatest blessing in life, family. Thank you for delivering us this classic, and the best of wishes on your future endeavor Bobby. Final rating: 10

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Wet Sugar” [Part 2 of 30]

Summary: Erik opts to keep his distance from Yani and focus on Klaue and getting to Wakanda. Erik also meets his new temporary roommate...

NSFW. Mature audience only. As always, thanks for reading and please comment/reblog if you enjoy the series. Hi new readers, happy to meet you on this new Erik journey. Part 3 on the way....

"To every hundred niggas that came and gone missing Only a handful will go the distance I swear I seen this shit coming as if I was living up under the plumbing While niggas was riffing and mumbling 'bout, what they could do I was cooking gumbo whipping the voodoo I was in the jungle running with Zulu's We was looking past the struggle while life was moving so fast You had to be shopping at Ginsu To the top of the food group Doing what I want and how I should too

Stepped in the waters The water was cold Chi in my body But it didn't touch my soul Stepped in the waters The water was cold…"

Anderson.Paak – "The Waters"

He tells her his name, his real name, and the girl who talked to animals allowed her big wide eyes to ease up on their sharpness.

Yani sat back and allowed the water to catch her back as her body disappeared under the small wave of balmy liquid that lifted her away from him. Erik stayed put, watching her backstroke away from him and further out into the sea. He wanted to follow her, felt his toes grip the sand under his feet to cast off after her, but he felt stalkerish and remained where he was.

She was real.

Yemanjá.

Erik felt the blood in his body coursing through him, the thrumming of searing red in his veins making him clench and unclench his fists.

Disǎ.

He sat back in the water and let it buoy him up, his eyes following the path of Yani's body swimming. He found it odd that he could look at this woman and think of his ex-girlfriend Disǎ who he left behind in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

No, maybe it wasn't odd, because the way he was reacting to this young woman treading about in open water was the same way he reacted to his first love…Disǎ.

The voice.

Like Yani, Erik had only heard Disǎ's voice before he met her, and something about the tone, the lilt, the inflections, the sonic soothing he received from it made him weak for her before he even saw her face. He felt a weight drift down on him. He put Disǎ through hell, denied her things that she wanted, made promises he couldn't keep, and she left him. Refused to connect with him ever again. Walking into that relationship had been an exercise in self-flagellation. Love was something he never sought out because he knew he was not made to love and settle down.

He was a mover, a nomad…he had no real home, not really, no place to lay his head and call his own. Rootless. He had to be rootless in order to finish the path that had been laid out for him. A path that started when he found his father dead in his apartment. Dead and alone.

Erik had to keep himself emotionally dead inside and alone too. All that love ever did for him was rend his body in half and grind his bones into dust. So he knew something was wrong when he heard Yani's voice speaking to a damn lizard in a tree, recognized the tell-tale signs of that dangerous pursuit into madness. He had only ever felt that way before with his ex. All that fucking back and forth with Disǎ when he graduated from M.I.T., joined the Navy, made Special Ops, and then headed into the work of a mercenary for a greater good…it stripped away a relationship he held dear and couldn't hold onto because he was never around. And that feeling, that feeling of wanting someone was seducing his conscious mind as he watched this girl swim.

Life was about choices.

And sometimes choices meant letting things be.

The heat and the dazzling sunlight and the beauty of the pale blue sea were probably just fucking with him anyway. Plus, he hadn't gotten his dick wet in a long time, and to come across a woman with a body like that…naked, on an isolated beach…well shit, no wonder he was feeling punch drunk with lust.

Nigga, get your shit together.

Yani wasn't feeling him anyway, every time she looked at him it was like she had an extra sour lemon in her mouth.

Erik dragged himself out of the water and put his trunks back on.

He didn't bother to look back at her when he left.

###

After lunch, Klaue left a message on Erik's cell to meet him in the third house. His private abode.

Erik meandered down the compound walkway toward the house. It was perched closer to the edge of the hillside overlooking the sea. Erik caught breathtaking views and when he entered the house after a retinal scanner cleared him, he felt like he was entering an ancient Zulu enclave. Nothing in the house matched the light-colored airy Caribbean theme of the other houses. The dark shadowed interior of dark-grained wood and dark furniture enveloped South African artwork, with a plethora of large carved wooden masks, and plenty of drums. Djembes, dunduns, a three drum bata set, bougarabous…

Erik stepped in front of a djembe and rubbed his fingers across the skin. His fingers ticked up and he began beating out the rhythms he learned as a child from his Uncle Bakari when he used to drum for his grandfather and mother when they taught capoeira back in Oakland. The heel of the palm, then his fingers struck the skin harder, faster, and the acoustics picked up the sound and drowned the room with the ferocity he slapped down.

Erik rocked his shoulders and let his head droop forward, his locs flopping over his eyes as he allowed the drum vibrations to move through him. He let his head bob as he remembered days back in Oakland on school lunch tables, pounding out beats with his fists when there were no drums, or finding the hollow parts in his chest or thigh when he would strike his own body with his open palm to create the percussive boom bap to help his childhood friends spit bars in ragtag cyphers. He felt the moist sensation in his mouth as he shaped his lips to beatbox in time to his drumming. It all came back to him vividly, joyfully, and he couldn't help the curling of his bottom lip as he bit into it, thinking of his days running the streets, just being hood wild and free.

He ended the cadence with a slowing down of his hands until only his fingertips were caressing the edges of the drum.

"Well look at you."

Klaue's voice brought him out of his reverie and Erik stepped away from the djembe.

"Hope that wasn't some artifact," Erik said.

Klaue shrugged and headed over to a round old-world wooden globe. He pulled the top back and inside of the globe was a hidden bar filled with various liquors and libations.

"Share a whiskey?" Klaue asked.

"Sure."

Klaue poured them healthy amounts in crystal tumblers and handed one to Erik.

"Interesting décor."

"I wanted to have a bit of home away from home. Of all my hideaways, this place is my favorite."

"It's pretty sweet. Quiet too."

"Not for much longer. Once everyone is here, I'll need you to keep your foot on their necks."

"Newbies?"

"Most you know from the Kabul job. Is your man Tahir still a no show?"

Erik took a deep drag of the whiskey. It was aged to perfection. He let a bit of it linger over his teeth before swallowing.

"They still got him on that no-fly list. He's chillin' in Damascus. He can do any other jobs you got, but Africa is a no go."

"Too bad. Good man. And that is what we need. Good men."

Erik studied Klaue's face.

"What's the problem?"

Klaue glanced at him.

"You can always read me so quick. It's Huntsman. I really don't want to use him, but I can't find anyone else with experience on the borders."

"Tahir will probably be tied up the next six months—"

"Too long to wait."

"W'sup with Huntsman?"

"He has issues…with you."

"That's his problem. He don't even know me."

"Ah, but he knows your reputation. Something about you sticks in his craw."

"You don't have to use him."

"With no Tahir available, I'm afraid I do. Unless you have someone else."

"Nah. I culled away my last team. I only have three that I stick with now and we freelance for DynCorp most jobs. Those guys are already under contract."

"Timing is key with these next two jobs."

"You still toying with using submersibles?"

"I will need our pretty blue metal for that."

The holy grail. Vibranium.

"I got some leads that I hope will pan out soon," Erik said. He could sense Klaue chomping at the bit.

He really did have some leads.

One was from a friend of his mother's who worked with the British Museum. She had passed on some information about some museum exchanges up on the horizon, a collection of fifteenth-century West African armaments and masks. It wasn't the collection he was looking for, but it was part of an exchange program originating out of Benin. Erik and Klaue would be heading to Angola in a month to set up an arms deal and then slip into the Northeastern part of Nigeria to covertly meet with some members of Boko Haram and the Nigerian government. Klaue played both sides of every deal he made. Erik planned on slipping into Benin and checking out the newly constructed Royal Benin Museum. His research uncovered plans for the museum to start receiving indigenous stolen art on a rotating basis from European museums that held plundered artwork from an 1897 British invasion in Dahomey. Erik needed to see for himself if any pieces contained vibranium.

His tongue gently tapped against his tattoo inside his lower bottom lip. He could feel the irritating cutaneous sensation tickling his gums from the traces of vibranium used in the vibram tattoo ink. The itchy tickling only happened when he was near pure vibranium. Like the pure vibranium emanating from Klaue's prosthetic arm.

Klaue picked up the whiskey bottle again and Erik took another half tumbler of the dark amber liquid.

"I want you to move down here in this house when all the men are here. There are some conversations we need to have in private."

Erik didn't question him. It took him this long to be invited to stay at any of his safe houses. That meant that he was now part of the trusted inner circle. He would just have to watch out for Huntsman. He was Klaue's boy for the last seven years, but Erik was aiming to be the only righthand man. Getting to the safe house was the culmination of meticulous, deliberate, and patient planning. Their first meeting in Iraq gave the man an intro to who Killmonger was. They didn't meet again until an arms deal in Kosovo proved fruitful when Erik's new team was able to assist Klaue through a mutual trustworthy middle man. It was then that Erik first showed Klaue a small amount of vibranium he stole from some arms dealers he tracked down to a small forgotten village in Iraq.

Erik ignored Klaue after that, turned him down for several jobs before Klaue started hinting that he may need to return to Wakanda and steal again. Then and only then did Erik drop word that he was down for any excursions into his father's country. The two men teamed up within months to help one another scour the earth for any pockets of vibranium they could find. On those missions, they only worked with each other and two other men, Tahir and one of Klaue's boys, a fellow South African who asked very little about the blue magic. A year later, Erik was now sipping brown liquor in the man's private home.

"Let's take a walk," Klaue said.

Erik followed him down a pathway that led to another section of beach hidden from where Yani's cove jutted out.

Klaue took off his sandals and his feet touched the sand.

"Hot!" he said slipping the sandals back on.

Erik's flip-flops felt too thin for the sand in this particular area that was littered with a few broken seashells.

"What do you want out of life, Killmonger?"

Erik stared at Klaue. The whites of the man's eyes were a little pink, and there were tiny spiderwebs of broken blood vessels cresting his nose. The man did like the sauce a little too much. Erik had personally witnessed him overconsuming alcoholic beverages to the point of falling over and having to be carried off by Erik or his other men.

"Money. What else?" he answered.

Klaue let his eyes trace the horizon of ocean before him.

"You know, at one time I was a billionaire."

"Really? How you fuck that up?"

Klaue guffawed and his laughter made him rock back in his sandals and clutch Erik's arm for balance, spilling a little of his drink on the sand.

"I sold my entire cache of vibranium to a Tony Stark creation."

Erik's eyes fixed on Klaue. He had a history with Tony Stark himself, but he didn't let on about it.

"I was operating out of an old shipping tanker in Johannesburg. Had my entire supply of vibranium warehoused there. Perfect set up. And then these fucking enhanced bastards show up with this thing…"

Klaue's right wrist rubbed his left arm while still holding his drink. His eyes grew course looking and his accent flared up.

"I'm no fool. I make a deal and billions are dropped into my offshore accounts. I'm set. Ready to retire and live out the rest of my life here. But then Sokovia goes down, and fucking Stark goes back and…."

Klaue's jawline clenched tight and his left arm closed up his mechanical fist.

"Billions wiped out. Like it never happened. And I'm left to start all over again."

"You kept your entire supply in one spot?"

Erik wanted to laugh at the man, but Klaue was tipsy, and a tipsy Klaue could get agitated and rachet up to bastard behavior in mere seconds.

"I had a fortress set up on that tanker. It was safe. After everything was taken away, I learned of a small portion hidden away in what I thought was a discreet location…"

"The Mosul statues…"

"I still don't know who really took it. S.H.I.E.L.D. maybe. The Pentagon. Perhaps even that ass Stark…fucking Iron Man…Iron Prick."

Klaue raised up his tumbler toward Erik's face.

"When I ask you what you want, Killmonger, I need to know the God's honest truth, because when I finish off these next few jobs, I'm going back to the source. With your skills and mine, we could steal even more vibranium than the first time I went in. I'm the only person who went into Wakanda…and lived to tell the story."

Erik's jaw clenched.

The first time Klaue went in.

With the help of his father, Prince N'Jobu, a man who only wanted to bring the vibranium out to help his woman and her people. All those in the diaspora.

Erik gulped down all of his whiskey.

Focus.

Erik fought back the whispers in his mind to kill Klaue where he stood. Because of this cretin, his father was killed. Because of this shit stain of a human, his father was unable to save his mother. Because of this devil, his family had been destroyed.

"What's the story on that place?" Erik asked.

"It's my white whale. But that's a story for another day. I want to talk Angola logistics now."

Erik wrenched his eyes away from Klaue and gazed out at the water. He had to hold onto his mental acuity. His own temper could carry him over the edge and destroy all of his plans. This was the long game. He had to hold on and not give in to the rage festering in his belly. He couldn't wait to crush this weak maggot. And like his Uncle, King T'Chaka, Erik would take great pleasure in destroying Ulysses Klaue.

###

Yani stood by the intercom at the front gate. The guard on duty, Jamie, watched her try her best to carry on a discreet conversation with her cousin Kendall who stood on the other side of the gate.

"Twyla just said she couldn't watch her today. C'mon now Yani, take your baby!"

Yani could hear her Sydette babbling a mile a minute behind the thick metal divide.

"Can you keep her for me, just for a couple of hours? I have to finish one more house and then I can leave," Yani said, the pleading in her voice not moving Kendall one way or the other.

"I would if I could, but I'm going to hang out with Bunny and Gregory. They might let me record some things at their place. I can't have a baby there with me. You know they smoke—"

"Kendall, please—"

"Yani, I can't watch you pickney. Sir, please open the gate."

Yani and Jamie could see Kendall on the security viewscreen holding Sydette in her car seat with her baby bag slung on his shoulder.

Yani's eyes glanced at Jamie.

"Open the gate please, Jamie," Yani said, defeat and weariness in her voice.

Jamie punched in the gate code and it slid open.

"I'm sorry, Yani," Kendall said. His deep dark chestnut skin was shiny and he sported a fresh baldie cut. He shoved Sydette's car seat handle into her hand and Yani grabbed the baby bag.

Kendall ran back to his idling work truck and hopped in with gardening equipment uncovered in the rear.

"Don't be late tomorrow. Tell Freddie Mr. Klaue wants the trees and the bushes by the front and middle house trimmed."

Kendall just waved and drove off, his truck backfiring as he left.

Yani rubbed her hand gently over her daughter's soft dainty curls. Sydette was sweating from the heat, the dampness making her baby hairs stick to her scalp.

"Mommy is glad to see you, but I have to work. I need you to be a good girl today for me. Yeah?"

Jamie gave her a serious look.

"Don't tell anyone she's here, please Jamie? I don't want to cause my Auntie trouble."

Jamie nodded and Yani scurried with her daughter to the apartment under the first house.

Leona was feeding dirty sheets and towels into the washing machine. A huge stack of clean sheets waited to be folded and put away.

"Auntie," Yani said with Sydette clutching her chest.

"What she doing here?"

Yani felt her spirit sink from the sound of her Aunt's annoyed voice.

"Kendall brought her. Twyla can't watch her today and he has somewhere to be so he can't keep her for me—"

"Call your mother—"

"You know I can't do that—"

"What you expect me to do?"

"Can she stay up here with you? I need to finish the second house—"

"And I need to finish this bedding and get ready for dinner. You have to take her with you."

Yani sucked her teeth. Sydette balled up her fist and sucked on it then dropped her head down on Yani's left breast and tried to suck through the t-shirt. Leona gave a sympathetic look but then continued putting sheets into the washer.

Moving swiftly back to the middle house, Yani entered it slowly.

"Inside," she called stepping in and looking around. Thank God, no one was there. The soft bristle broom she was using to sweep the floor was leaning against the couch. She tossed the baby bag on the floor near the couch and plopped her butt down with the car seat. Sydette's saliva had soaked Yani's shirt.

"Hold on, gyal," Yani said hoisting up her shirt and releasing her left breast. Sydette latched on her nipple and Yani cradled her head and watched her daughter suckle like she was starving.

"I know I left you plenty of milk with cousin Twyla. Why you so greedy? Huh? Where you put it all?"

Sydette's cheeks puffed and hallowed as she fed on Yani. A thousand thoughts went through Yani's head. What if Twyla couldn't watch Sydette over the weekend? She had plans to go out, the first time in a long time. Her cousin Kendall was set to perform for the first time in a club that hadn't seen Yani's face since she first got pregnant with Sydette. She didn't even have to sneak into it anymore now that she was finally of legal age. It was a tourist trap for sure, but the D.J.s there were really good and played a good mixture of Hip Hop, Soca and other types of music that she enjoyed.

She couldn't be too mad at Kendall. He really wanted to make music and the local producers Bunny and Gregory were giving him a chance to record something. They helped her baby's father get his first and only record deal. Maybe her own cousin could do better and go further.

Sydette's lips slowed down, her sucking not as desperate. Yani kept an eye out for Klaue's men in case they were returning. Wednesday was cleaning day for the compound, and the regulars knew to stay busy while she and Leona worked the place. There really wasn't too much to do, in Klaue's place or the first house, but Hunstman and Polk were slobs. She hated touching their sheets or towels because she once found obvious semen stains on them. Nasty.

Yani lifted Sydette up to check her diaper. She smelled okay and was dry, so no need to change her. When her eyes were drooping and her lips fell away from Yani's nipple, she was gently burped. Yani allowed her baby to sleep in her arms for a bit. She was tired herself, still thinking of all the things she had to do. Friday morning and afternoon she was scheduled to work her third job at the Eco Tours company giving kayak tours through the mangroves. Unlike Klaue's compound, she couldn't hold Sydette to her breasts while she paddled through mangroves and oversaw hermit crab races.

Something had to give soon, she was wearing herself out. And that something was Chez. She felt her stomach knot and tension crease her forehead as she thought of Sydette's wayward father. He paid no decent child support, promised to at least help with babysitting (which he never did), promised to seek better work so that she could drop one of her jobs and care for Sydette on her own and not pass her baby girl off to various relatives. It was hard not to hate Chez, especially since he had another baby with another woman only three months after Sydette was born. Worse still, he was living with that baby's mother and paying her rent while Yani had to share a bedroom with Sydette and Twyla.

She knew it was mean, but she was so happy that Sydette looked like her and not like him at all. She would hate to think how she would feel if she had to look down at a child on her tit who had that man's face, no matter how fine he was. And Chez was fine. And selfish. And a bully. And abusive at one time…

Yani shook her head from the thoughts. She needed to get the middle house clean and vacate the premises before Klaue or anyone knew she had a baby around. She had to coat the floor tiles with a protective tile cleaner that prevented sand and grout damage.

Just get through the next two hours.

She wished she could be back out in the warm water floating on her back. Naked. At peace. Alone. Not responsible for anyone or anything.

"Oh, Sydette. I wish I had done better. I wish I had done so much better."

She kissed her daughter's sweat-laden forehead. Standing up she turned on the air conditioning and tried to focus on the task at hand.

Two hours.

###

The middle house smelled clean and was quite cool when he entered it from spending time with Klaue. Erik kicked off his sandals and left them by the front door. The tile looked polished and a less dingy from when he first arrived. He was ready to relax and maybe lounge by the pool.

His mind was still calculating all the things he had spoken to Klaue about in planning their Angola run. The base of operation that they would work from in Angola still needed to be prepped and ready, the warehouse that was to be used to house the new crop of munitions and rocket-propelled grenades had recent fire damage, and when Erik looked at satellite photos of the landing strip where they would import the black market goods, he discovered an uneven and unsafe landing zone. Large potholes and depressions peppered the ground. There was a lot to take care of in a short period of time. A political problem sprang up also because of a new governor in the province who was flexing a bit of muscle to try and intimidate Klaue. This new guy was not playing the game of allowing their crew to circumvent the regulatory and oversight systems they were used to bypassing with monetary incentives to look away like previous government officials had done. Erik already decided if the man became a problem, he would nickel his brain and keep it pushing. Klaue had no problem with that. Erik knew how to dispose of problematic bodies and loose lips. He had the scars to prove it.

Erik turned down the air and went into his room. Taking off his shirt he folded it and placed it on the dresser by the window. He was about to power dive on the bed when he noticed a baby lying on it.

The hell.

The baby, a girl by the looks of the butterfly barrettes pinned to her curls, was sound asleep on her stomach, her backside up in there air a bit as if she woke up suddenly, moved, then fell right back to sleep.

He walked over to the side of the bed staring at her. He could hear someone moving in the kitchen, there was the sound of sink water rinsing down. Leona or Yani perhaps still working.

Erik crawled onto the covers trying not to rock the double bed too much with his big body. He laid back resting his head on a pillow. When he turned to look at the baby again, her eyes were open and she was staring at him. Looking about eight or nine months old, she didn't cry when she saw that a stranger was right next to her. Instead, she gave him the biggest toothless smile, a stream of slobber falling from her mouth onto the blanket, and he saw that she had dimples like him.

"Hey, Lil Mama. What's your name?" he whispered, making his voice as soft as he could. She babbled something and more clear saliva dribbled down her chin. Her chubby arms spread in front of her and she bounced her body and grunted like she needed help.

Erik reached over and picked her up and that startled her and her fat cheeks twisted up and she started crying.

"Aww, why the tears? We was cool just a second ago—"

"Sorry! Sorry!"

Yani swept into the room and scooped the baby out of his arms.

"I didn't think anyone was using this room. It was so clean. I didn't even touch it. Give me a few minutes and I can go through here—"

"Nah. I'm good. I clean my own room. You don't have to do all that for me. I'm self-sufficient."

"I wish the other men were like that."

He watched Yani's lips get tight after she said that.

"Don't tell them I said that."

"I didn't hear a thing. She yours?"

"Yeah."

"What's her name?"

"Sydette."

"She's cute. Looks like you."

"Thanks. We'll get out of your way—"

"You can leave her in here with me if you still need to finish. I think she finds me acceptable. She's not crying anymore."

He reached out and stroked the girl's cheek and Sydette touched his finger, then grabbed it.

"Sydette," Yani said pulling her hand away from Erik's finger.

Erik found himself staring at Yani's face.

"My babysitter fell through, so I had to take her…please don't say anything to the others. I'm not supposed to have her here while I'm working."

"Won't say a word."

"I'm done, so..."

"Will you be working here tonight?"

Why the hell did he ask that?

She had a baby, so obviously she had a man too…

"No. I have another job I do at night, and I need to leave now so I can get ready for that."

"Oh. Okay," he said.

He was still sitting on his bed, and she was holding her baby in front of him. He was feeling hella awkward. Sydette stared at him, and then she smacked her lips and turned back to Yani.

"Oh…Sydette!" Yani squealed when the baby started sucking on her chest, her head moving around searching for a nipple. Erik couldn't help but laugh. Yani lifted up Sydette's chin and the baby began to fret wanting her mother's milk with urgency. Erik stood up and walked into the living room, slipping on his flip flops and heading for the front door.

"I'ma let you handle that and give you some privacy. I'll be by the pool. Before I forget, I'll take the afternoon shift on the beach if you want to keep the mornings."

"Okay," she said.

Her daughter bounced in her arms and Erik could see a mixture of what looked like embarrassment and something else on Yani's face. Weariness.

He didn't see a ring on her finger. She worked two jobs too. She was probably still just a baby herself.

"Sorry about the room," she whispered. Her eyes looked watery like she was about to cry.

"Don't even trip. Sorry for being so neat. I felt like Goldilocks for a minute there."

He tried to lighten the mood for her.

"Goldilocks?" she asked.

"Muh…muh…muh…" Sydette said waving her chunky fingers in her mother's face.

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed because it was just right…the three bears…?" he said.

"Oh!" Yani said. Her face lit up and she smiled, her dark sloe eyes no longer welling with tears.

"Bye, Sydette," Erik cooed out. The baby could only focus on Yani's face, "Bye Yani."

He stepped back out into the sunlight and tried to shake the lingering need to stay in the same room as her. Her baby was so adorable. Sydette's dimples are what sold him. That initial gummy smile. The puffy little curls mashed down on one side of her head. Her little blue t-shirt that couldn't cover her fat little belly all the way. Her little outie belly button.

It was a tough job and he wasn't cut out to do that ever. Take care of a baby? Pfftt. It was probably why his mother only had him. Too much work. And Lil Mama looked like she could be a little pushy the way she was going for Yani's breasts.

Shit.

Erik sat on a lounger by the pool still wearing the trunks he had on that morning with an added t-shirt. He felt a thickening in his trunks, his dick getting a little chubby thinking about Yani's breasts that he saw down in the sea. No wonder they seemed extra ripe. She was full of milk and those big ass dark nipples of hers were making his shit tent in his shorts. Fuck.

Erik reached down and tugged on his bulge, trying to smooth it down from being too obvious. But the minute he touched it, a spark ran down his length, making him rock hard in seconds. No one was around. His eyes scanned the area to be sure and he grabbed the towel hanging behind his head and placed it over his lap. His right hand slipped under the covering. His trunks were loose enough where he could get access to his erection by lifting up a little of the swim trunk material from the bottom.

Damn, his dick was so hard, the thick head firm between his rough fingers. He kept his eyes open and alert for others as he replayed images of Yani in the water.

"That big fat ass…fuck…" he groaned low and into his chest as he plucked at his tip as it pressed against his thigh. The warm ooze of his pre-cum dripped down his leg. He felt his right leg jerk from the sensation. He could see the slight dimpling in her ass cheeks and that layer of fleshy softness around her belly that he loved on women. That space to place his head when he wanted to rest in softness. The faint lines of stretch marks he saw on the sides of her breasts made his mouth chuff, his breath revealing the arousal he got from staring at the beauty of skin breaking to make room for more…more thighs…more ass…more stomach…more big ass titties.

He imagined placing his length in between her breasts and fucking the shit out of her tits, pinching those nipples, making his balls squeeze out a hot thick nut that would drench her neck and chin—

"Oooooh shit!" He gasped as he felt heavy spurts shoot all over his leg and the towel covering him. His eyes rolled back and he was left wondering if that big nut happened because he hadn't had pussy in so long, or if this girl put a spell on his dick. The fuck he look like beating his meat by a pool over some young baby mama he just met? Fuck outta here with all that.

He needed to get out. Go to a bar or club and be around some grown ass child-free bitches. Get his dick wet properly. Chase that nut the right way.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and headed out toward the beach again. Yani was leaving and he could have the cove to himself to rinse the cum smeared all over his leg away. His trunks were soaked with it.

Damn.

From now on he was going to focus on Angola, getting that airstrip ready for Klaue in the next two weeks, and finding a way to get Tahir to St. Thomas.

New rules: Stay the fuck away from Yani.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]   [Part 4]  [Part 5]  [Part 6]

Tag List:

@fonville-designs​ @soufcakmistress  @cherrystainedlipsbaby @tclaybon  @thadelightfulone @allhailqueennel @bartierbakarimobisson @cpwtwot @shookmcgookqueen @yoyolovesbucky @raysunshine78 @the-illllest @terrablaze514  @l-auteuse

[playitbyear-laz]

011

After taking a break for a few weeks to spend time reflecting, learning, conversing, and trying to figure out my own place in relation to everything going on in the world right now, we’re back again with the next installment of the PLAY IT BY EAR bi-weekly playlist/reflection series.

It’s hard to know when the right time is to try to get back into the groove of things, when it seems like chaos is abundant & people are juggling a million different emotions at once. The biggest question on everyone’s minds is “when will things get back to normal?”

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the past couple of weeks, it’s that the era of ‘normal’ was never real. The issues we see so apparently in front of us today have been around way before most of us were even born, they just do a good job at hiding behind a variety of distractions i.e., social media, our favorite brands, artists, music, movies, etc.,.

These things have an effect on us that is habitual and it's easy to lose sight of where you’re going if you’re running on autopilot. The nature of life is change. Nothing has ever been ‘normal,’ but it can be really easy to convince yourself otherwise when distractions are abundant. The only things keeping you ‘normal’ are the values & habits that you choose to maintain in a world that’s constantly changing -- so choose wisely. There is no magic moment where everything will be fixed. There is no finish line. Life is constant, it’s flowing, and the best thing we can do is build awareness of ourselves & use that awareness to become better in whatever ways we can.

Whatever you need to do during this time to figure out what it means to be ‘better’, please take the time to do so. We all want to see the world in a better place than it is now, but that can’t happen until you understand who you are first and understand your role in relation to the world around you.

Lastly, I hope the music & insight from PLAY IT BY EAR can act as a form of healing for you during this time. Creating this platform has been cathartic for me & I hope you as the listener/reader will find it to be as well. If anyone needs an ear to vent to during this time, my email/DM is open -- please feel free to reach out to me as needed. Wishing you peace today and always.

                                 Much love, laz.

                              PLAY IT BY EAR 011

                                   curated by laz

                          Link to all platforms HERE.

Hard Life - SAULT

WHERE: Decided to check out SAULT after hearing Questlove rave about their latest album Untitled (Black Is), but the homie Larry (@predakon) also featured them when he did the guest takeover for PLAY IT BY EAR 008. I highly recommend checking out Cleo Sol as well, who’s one of the lead singers for the band.

WHY: SAULT is one of the most unique groups out right now, blending the genres of funk, neo-soul, and alternative rock with ease. The lyrics in almost all of their tracks reflect on current issues going on in the country. What I like most about ‘Hard Life’ is that the track comes in two parts -- the first half almost feeling like a type of chant, illustrating the prolonged nature of life’s constant tests, while the second half resolves this feeling with triumphant lyrics and a bright instrumental.

Imagine - Snoop Dogg feat. Dr. Dre & D’Angelo

WHERE: IG story - @markpeaced

WHY: Growing up in LA, pretty much anything that Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre have worked on together is gonna be saved in your library, but having D’Angelo sing the hook makes for one of the most pleasantly unexpected Snoop/Dre tracks ever. All three of these artists have songs in their discographies that delve into social issues, but to hear them all come together over a simple boom bap beat, speaking about a vision for a more peaceful world is something that feels very rare.  

Wishes - Juls feat. Jah Cure

WHERE: Juls has produced some of the biggest afrobeat tracks to come out in recent years (U Say - Goldlink feat. Tyler, The Creator &. Jay Prince,  Skin Tight - Mr. Eazi, So Mi So - Wande Coal, and more).

WHY: At this point, it feels wrong for me not to include an afrobeat, dancehall, or reggae track on these playlists - there’s just so much to love about this sound palette and there’s no denying its growth, momentum, and impact in mainstream music today. What I like most about 'Wishes,’ however, is the lyrics sung by Jah Cure about building an appreciation for both the good and bad things life has to offer.

7-21-17_substitute_hifi_v3 - Toro y Moi

WHERE: Went through a bit of a Toro y Moi binge recently and this track off Soul Trash stood out to me most from that album.

WHY: Since Mk.gee dropped his album, chillwave & synth pop music has been my go-to genre. This track however, has major Jai Paul vibes, and is a production style that I would like to see used more in electronic & pop music today. The wavy synths paired with the super tight drum patterns have the ability to instantly put me in a contemplative mood.

Nobody - Akil

WHERE: Soulection Radio #450

WHY: Admittedly, I have a pretty bad habit of not paying as much attention to lyrics in rap these days. With trap being at the forefront of hip hop, I got so used to focusing on the overall vibe of a track that the lyrics often got pushed to the back, which is exactly is why I love Nobody. From the jump, Akil’s delivery demanded my attention, with a commanding flow that most rappers these days seem to lack.

The Climb - Flying Lotus feat. Thundercat

WHERE: In April, Ta-Ku asked his followers on Twitter for a thread of songs that give them hope. This was one of the tracks posted and has been in constant rotation since.

WHY: All of the things you would love from a Flying Lotus and Thundercat track can be found here -- but the overwhelmingly uplifting and positive lyrics is something I rarely get to hear from Thundercat and for that, I appreciate it immensely.

Riot Van - Arctic Monkeys

WHERE: I believe @_kikovalle posted this one on his IG story, but I could be wrong. Either way, shout out Kiko I guess lol.

WHY: Riot Van is a solemn reflection on the experience of being harassed by a police officer, but told through the lens of an English teenager in the early 2000s. What I like about this track is the overall feeling of defeat and hopelessness that is so commonly felt these days with much of the youth and their view on police.

Ain’t Got Time - Roy Ayers Ubiquity

WHERE: n/a

WHY: As I mentioned above, while the smoke of recent events has seemed to die out a little bit, our work towards social justice, racial equality, and bettering the ‘self’ isn’t over and probably won’t ever be in our lifetime. That being said, we can’t give in to the feelings of comfort and complacency or getting “tired” while we’re still here and able to fight.

“We aint’ got time to be tired, we got a long, long way to go.”

Also, in case you missed it -- PLAY IT BY EAR now has its own social accounts. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @playit_byear and please share with a friend if you’re enjoying our brand. More music, thoughts, and content on the way and I can’t wait to exchange that energy with you. See you there.

[seoulfulcity]

August 3, 2018: As the Sun Sets - In Banpo

Golden hour is over; we threw our caps in the air during the evening of graduation; now we were watching our final sunsets in Banpo Hangang Park.

Night is falling and our time in Seoul is ending.

안녕하세요,

Friday, August 3, 2018: Water hell!

I was supposed to go do a tour around the Blue House (청와대/Cheong Wa Dae), the official residence of South Korea's president, Moon Jaein, at 2 PM. We were supposed to meet in front of Gyeongbokgung Palace at 1:30, and my plan was to go earlier and tour around the palace, since it's already been six weeks, yet I still needed to visit the most popular tourist spot in Seoul.

I woke up at 11 AM, just in time for Davy's Cheong Wa Dae tour to start, and checked my phone to see how hot it was.

"Feels like 114 degrees".

Well, that was the end of my day. I suppose I could always visit the palace on my next visit in Seoul. If it survived thousands of years, I was certain it will survive just a few years more.

My phone lit up with messages from Kakao Talk.

Our Naengmyeon Homies group chat was living up to its name. Valentino wanted to leave at 11:45 AM as he was still finishing his draft to send to the KUISC director in regards to Minki-hyung (민기형) not getting his certificate for participating in the buddy program. They said that since he missed the Boryeong Mud Festival (he told them he was sick, but we know he went to the booze cruise with us), he lost participation points, therefore rendering him unable to receive a certificate. Of course Minki-hyung (민기형) was very upset, so as a group, we started sending the KUISC director emails proving why Minki-hyung (민기형) deserved that certificate and the Best Buddy award that was given during graduation.

Even though Minki-hyung (민기형) didn't win Best Buddy award, the whole auditorium knew how popular and special he is to our group since we were the only ones to cheer for him every time his face showed up on the KUISC highlights video.

Valentino said Cara woke up vomiting but was still willing to get bibim-naengmyeon with us; so, we met up in front of Frontier House and went to the usual naengmyeon place, just by the cheap kimbap restaurant.

During our naengmyeon meal, Cara nonchalantly grabbed the mini trash bin on our table and vomited. Only I and a Korean lady next to us noticed her vomiting. Valentino, who was sitting next to Cara, looked over the table next to her to see the Korean motioning him to check on Cara with her eyes.

After the meal, we decided to mix our credit cards on the table and pick one card to pay the bill with, and I didn't realized I whipped out my Frontier key card; Cara also did the same, but after we left the restaurant, she noticed that she forgot her Frontier key card on the table and she pushed me to ask if they have it on the counter, which they did.

Water hell! Did I just have a déjà vu moment?

On the way back to Frontier, we talked about how much we would miss Sulbing and authentic bingsu in Seoul, so we stopped by Anouk, a bingsu place just next to the Frontier stairs. We got the God of Bingsu for ₩18,000 with green tea, black choco, and red cherry flavors.

While waiting for our bingsu, we started creating memes from last night's drinking videos, such as Joyce saying "water hell" really fast.

We would make terrible memes incorporating "water" and "hell" together so much that Hyungki-hyung (형기형) asked the group chat:

Hyungki-hyung (형기형): wth is water hell

In which Cara corrected him with "water hell is water hell"

Our table erupted in laughter.

Matt also took a picture of the sign in Anouk directing where to get water and attached the word "hell" by it, and also posted a link to an apparent email he sent to the KUISC director in the group chat, just for it to be redirected in a never ending page of "water hell" repeated over and over.

Water hell, right?

We went back to our dorms and I sat on the lounge in the third floor just to cool off and I started realizing how empty it was becoming. It used to be loud and busy, with Ben's music playing in one end of the floor and guys singing across the other end.

Naengmyeon and bingsu left me tired, so I slept through the rest of the afternoon.

I woke up at 7 PM to the group chat in Banpo Hangang Park for the Dokkaebi Night Market (도깨비야시장). We've been talking about going to Dokkaebi Night Market since we saw the posters in Line 6 during the first weeks in KUISC yet nobody had decided when and where to go, since the night market was every weekend in four places: Dongdaemun Design Plaza, Cheonggyecheon Stream (Mojeongyo Bridge-Gwangtonggyo Bridge), Yeouido Hangang Park, and Banpo Hangang Park.

I wanted to go to Yeouido Hangang Park since it's the biggest out of the four and I haven't been to the park and took a picture with the "I Seoul You" sign; but Minki-hyung (민기형) insisted we go to Banpo Hangang Park because he's never been there and it's still as lively even though there's less people than Yeouido Hangang Park. This was going to be our last hangout in Seoul together.

I arrived at Banpo Hangang Park at 9 PM and bought pork tteokbokki and earl gray chocolate latte at Oppa truck with Carolina before heading to the center of the park just next to the Banpo Bridge with her, Matt, Florence, Minki-hyung (민기형), Jordan, Harley, Peter, Darren, Cindy, Angela, Lina, Maite, and Davy. Angela's roommate was kind enough to let us borrow a picnic blanket, so we sat down and played music with Matt's speaker.

Of course, since iKON just released their mini album Continue the day before, I blasted "죽겠다 (Killing Me)" during the night.

After being six weeks in Seoul, I never had the chance to try dakgangjeong (닭강정/sweet and spicy chicken), so I went back to buy a sweet dakgangjeong (닭강정) at Double 8.

Wendelyn joined us after; Valentino and Cara wanted to join with us too, but being too far from Frontier made them not want to go and asked us to meet with us around Anam later instead.

Darren, Angela, Cindy, Harley, Jordan and I went to the opposite side of the bridge to Sebitseom (세빛섬), which are artificial islands with different centers and buildings, such as for arcade games, performing arts, etc.

We took the bus and subway going home, where Davy taught me and Lina some tricks to work the Rubik's cube, although we both did not pick up any new knowledge.

Erin messaged us that she was giving away her remaining 10+ SF9's Sensuous albums from when she bought 40 albums to try and get a fan sign pass to meet the boy group.

When we reached Anam, everybody dispersed but Wendelyn, Florence, Matt, and I headed to McDonald's to meet with Valentino and Cara. Peter volunteered to pick up the box of SF9 albums at CJ International from Erin and kept it in his room until I picked it up later that night. We stopped by the arcade place where Wendelyn was trying to win a white bear plush. There was a guy next to us on the Pokémon claw machine trying to get bulbasaur, which was on the verge of falling. He left to get his money changed and I tried my luck to get the Pokémon plush - which I did.

My first ever claw machine win.

Matt had to drag us out of the arcade place because we were so close to spending a lot of money to get Wendelyn her white bear.

At McDonald's, I had Valentino sign my taegukgi (태극기) since he was leaving in the morning to reunite with his family in Seoul, before leaving for Japan.

They all headed straight to a noraebang (노래방), but I wasn't worried about not going because I would still see them the next day. I went back to my dorm to start packing and picked up the SF9 box from Peter, which included a Blackpink poster and BAP's Ego album. Thanks Erin!

Sophie wanted one copy of the album for each version, while Valentino, Matt, and Cara each wanted one for their own. Carolina asked to keep the remaining albums so she could mail them back home in Brazil.

I finished packing my main luggage within minutes, just for me to finally realize that I needed to buy another one. I was so terrified that I might be charged excess because the main luggage only had souvenirs and extra materials I collected and bought from all the way in Hong Kong two months ago. I really needed to get an extra bag to fit in my clothes.

It was barely 2 AM and everybody was still at the noraebang (노래방) and Lina wanted to meet up with me in front of Frontier so we could head to meet with the group together; but first, she needed to pick up a few things from Maite at the Global House. Maite was leaving in the morning and gave us a Don Q Pasion Puerto Rican rum since she couldn't take it back with her to Puerto Rico.

Sophie. Thai. Jon. Maite. Four gone, more to go.

Lina needed to stack up on the cheap cigarettes in Seoul for her to take home to Singapore, in which she bought a total of 21 packs from two convenience stores. The poor guys working probably had so much questions by the way their eyes reacted when Lina told them to give her 21 packs with her basic Korean skills.

Her biggest worry is getting them through the Singaporean customs since the country places a very expensive tax on cigarettes.

So, Lina and I were on our way to the noraebang (노래방), when we bumped into Darren, who was headed home and invited him to join us.

"I can't. Maybe next time?" he said.

"There will never be a next time," Lina responded. That phrase hit me how close we are to perhaps never seeing each other again.

That was the last time I would ever see Darren.

At the noraebang (노래방), Matt and Cara were screaming love songs, while rocking their head back and forth as if they were hosting a screamo concert. Wendelyn, Valentino, Asra, Salli, Joyce, Florence, and Peter were sitting around Matt and Cara, while drinking soju bottles and Maite's Puerto Rican rum. Salli was so excited to pour everyone a cup of the rum, since, as another Puerto Rican, it was her favorite alcoholic drink.

We all knew that it was going to our last noraebang (노래방) session together, so when we ended our final one with the most iconic song of the last six weeks.

김범수의 "보고 싶다"/Kim Beomsu's "Bogo Shipda/I Miss You".

Matt, Tino, Cara, and Peter hailed a taxi cab to take them back to Frontier House since they were feeling lazy walking back up the Frontier stairs (and the taxi cab was only ₩3,000), while Lina and I walked on the way back. She picked up extra cardboard boxes so she could place her excess luggage in it and ask Florence to mail them to her home in Singapore.

It was four in the morning on Saturday, August 4. I was leaving South Korea the next day.

When I returned to my dorm, Matt messaged us a copy of the email he sent to the KUISC director regarding Minki-hyung (민기형)'s buddy certificate, which showcased how much he went above and beyond his responsibilities to make sure we had the best six weeks to the point that he wasn't even our buddy anymore. He was our friend who had partaken in every single adventure with us in KUISC and outside the program.

Minki-hyung (민기형) welcomed all of us (group 3 or not) into the circle and we really appreciate him immensely.

The group chat became emotional and started reminiscing the funny memories we had created with Minki-hyung (민기형) in the last six weeks. We really hope to reunite with him one day, but until then!

고마워요,

Chris 「크리스」

P.S. The homecoming event for the students who just came back from studying abroad is tomorrow, so I hope to use that event as a means to relive the good times and as a reminder to never forget everyone's contribution to making this year's summer worthwhile.

P.P.S. I hope to finish writing and post the fourth and final blog of the "As the Sun Sets" series, which is the last blog of my entire study abroad adventures within the next few days. I plan to follow up with a few blogs on the homecoming event and some informational blogs regarding the study abroad program.

[aegyo-chan]

1/4 I had a feeling bulbasaur was Pokemon. The only thing I know about Pokemon is that my brother was obsessed with it when we were little. He had a Pokemon cake on his bday and that there were 3 Pokemon on some of his cards that I thought were super adorable. One looked like red and blue roses with a spiky green head?? Another was a little yellow bell that ran around on like roots for feet? And I cant even remember the 3rd. Ooo, once you finish your aesthetic workstation, you should show me!

2/4 What’s your favorite thing to drink on a hot day? I am unfunny - I love water. LOL. It’s still super cold here - I’m mean it’s getting warmer, but my city tends to have winter or winterish for like 8 out of the 12 months. Smarthouse was a Disney channel movie in the 90s – Idk if it was just played in the USA or not so it’s okay that you haven’t see it :) You are welcome to join me anytime! We could throw a little party.3/3 I grew up watching a lot of sci-fi stuff, too. My mom is a huge sci-fi nerd and I spent a good chuck of my childhood watching Doctor Who because she made my little brother and I sit down at watch it with her lol. What are some of your fav sci-fi shows or movies? I’m more of a horror fan. Whether I changed my icon is for me to never tell you and for you to never find out :) If you want to take Mang as a hint, go for it because you’d be right!4/4 The person who created him does indeed have a very special place in my heart – so special that he’s tried (multiple times) to take Ravi’s spot on my bias list. I have a side blog dedicated to him and another idol from a different band. I’m fairly certain you either haven’t come across my blog yet or you have and you’re not saying anything because there is a spot on my blog that would give everything away. Good luck. -HAF

Aww that is super adorable!! My siblings and I used to watch pokemon when we were young, but mostly while we were waiting for the next anime. Our cartoon network had a 2 hour slot for anime in those days and Pokemon was the starter. (we did slowly develop an interest into the anime it was a fun light hearted anime tbh, we bought dvds of the movies too)  My brother spent idk how much money on those trading cards, it was a trend in school to have the rarest lol It got bad enough for the teachers to actively search bags for cards and he gave me his to keep safe, so that they didn’t get confiscated. I won this Bulbasaur in a BAP Japan care package giveaway by @thediebutterfly and I love it a lot. This is similar to the plushie Daehyun won at the crane game in heyo tv. So it’s even more special, childhood and adulthood favorite things in one. ^^ I got the picture of the 2 pokemons you described in my head but I can only remember the 2nd’s name, bellsprout! :D 

LOL but that’s the best thing!!! Just plain water after coming home on a hot day, because honestly no matter what you drink, thirst is only ever quenched by water. I like fruit juices and soda. I don’t like milkshakes but Ice Cream shakes are great. Winterish for 8 months omg I would die lol I don’t like winter that much. I’m a spring person. We have all 4 distinct seasons plus a rainy season that is pretty humid. I used to love summer when I was a kid because my birthday is in May but now I realize some things in summer aren’t that great aka bugs lol Also I just can not wear layers. I can’t do it I’d rather freeze than wear multiple layers. I don’t like my arms covered below my elbow. I would even cut all my winter sweaters and jackets sleeves if I could. 

I’ve watched a couple of Disney channel shows from the 2005-08 period but not this one. ^^ I loved disney channel. hm… for me it was a mix of animated stuff more than live action stuff. I don’t remember names of those cartoons anymore but they had alien protagonists all of them. One of the earliest live actions that wasn’t exactly for kids I think but a local channel aired it (censoring anything inappropriate but I doubt it had anything THAT inappropriate) was gene roddenberry’s earth the final conflict. I was 13/14 i think and I was obsessed. whatever time it aired and it never had a set timing I watched it. Then I got obsessed with Star Wars (the 3 original and the prequel trilogy) and I even wrote fanfiction! on paper and not online haha it was a cute story about princess Leia, with no ships or anything. This is going to get super long so I’m gonna stop lol I don’t get time to watch much stuff now and my interests evolve with time so I never stick to one genre. I had marvel phase, a power rangers phase, a harry potter phase but never horror. I am a scaredy cat. Buzzfeed Unsolved made me lose sleep for a month so I don’t mess with horror.  I applaud you dear! tell me your favorite horror movies or shows. 

ASGFSGFG TRUST ME I have been looking and I haven’t found you yet. I am really really bad at guessing, even if you were right in front of me I would not notice till you were painfully obvious. it’s okay though lol I like this mystery. haha I always look for you when I’m free. It’s fun searching for you. <3  do you have a fandom based username? I was narrowing down suspects but now this new person has completely cleared all of them. 

[luluwritesthings]

Big Update!

So for anyone who follows me for my writing, you know that between my regular writing and day to day activities I got accepted to a few zines! I’ve made progress with it all so I’m finally gonna make a post about the zines I’m in and provide an excerpt to what I’ll be submitting!

This first one I got accepted to and is wrapping up the creative process is the Dark Matter Kuro zine! We were allowed to do collabs, so I worked together with @bringembers to create a Kuro/Lotor ship contribution!! Keep an eye out on the blog and twitter for Dark Matter about when pre-orders open, and for now enjoy the short preview of my submission!

Out of all the members of the Empire’s Royal Guard, Kuro was by far the best learner among them. He was well versed in all of their weaponry, hand-to-hand combat, even some magic that the Druids had begrudgingly shown him. He knew all the patrol routes, all the inevitable weak spots.

He knew practically everything.

Until Prince Lotor, the crown prince he was tasked with protecting and sacrificing his life for, asked him if he could waltz.

The second zine I got accepted into is the Blessed and Possessed Shiro zine! They’re giving us plenty of time to work for this zine which I am VERY grateful for since we have a max of 5 k we can write! I plan to put that all to use for a Polydins piece with a character focus on Kuron and a ship highlight on Shunk! This is going to be a long time in the works so enjoy the short preview!

Everything was supposed to be okay now. He had escaped the Galra twice now, he’d made it off that ice planet almost by himself, he’d somehow survived a week with no hope of being found or saved, he had gone through all of that just so he could kiss and hold all his partners once more.

He was finally happy.

Then it had to be taken away all over again.

The third and final zine I was accepted into was the Pidge Shipping zine! For this one we were allowed to do one piece of 5 k words or split it up into two pieces, so I went with that option so I could do a Shidge submission AND a Polydins submission! This zine will be out sooner than the BAP zine, so be checking the blog for regular updates! Here is the Shidge excerpt first,

Takashi Shirogane, the Black Paladin and Leader of Voltron, had a crush. That crush was somebody on the team.

Katie ‘Pidge’ Holt, the Green Paladin and a nosy brat, was going to find out who he was crushing on. Even if that meant she would trick him into inhaling alien pollen.

and here is the Polydins excerpt!

“Just you wait kiddo. Something tells me that you’re going to have your own crew someday, and you’re going to fly with them to worlds so far away we can’t even imagine! I bet my bottom dollar you’re going to be part of something that makes the whole universe sit up and take notice.”

It was scary how accurate those words were. Being a part of Voltron was definitely something the universe was taking notice of, especially thanks to the events promoting the coalition, and Pidge had found her crew. . . in more ways than one.

They worked together as a unit incredibly well, there was the first few bumps no doubt, but it wasn’t long before they were forming Voltron no problem and watching each other’s backs during missions and just being together.

‘Hugs and kisses together’, like, ‘build a blanket fort and share secrets and do tons of making out’ together.

There it all is! That was a giant infodump lmao

I really hope you guys are excited for when these are published/come out! The Kuro and Pidge zines will cost money, but the BAP zine will be a free/pay-what-you-want deal!!!! The Kuro zine will also be the only one of the three that will have the option for a hard copy, the other two will remain as online pdfs.

I’m slowly but surely working on other things too, so hopefully you’ll see more of that soon! Thank you to everyone who reads and supports me with comments!

[deeply-obsessed]

Ship Wars; Seokjin/Everyone

It was Jungkook's mistake to trust Hoseok so easily, but he couldn't help it. The guy portrayed the role of a trustworthy older brother who was all innocent smiles and had a very cheerful personality that everyone loved. And that was a legit way to describe Hoseok because in all honesty, there was no lie in that description.

Hoseok really was a trustworthy older brother and that was the main reason his band members didn't get threatened all that much when it came to Jin because Hoseok was harmless. But because the others spent so much time looking at Hoseok's innocent side, they ended up forgetting about the person they first met, the most seductive snake that did a great job at hiding, the one who didn't hesitate to jump his prey in full force. And Seokjin was his new meal, has been since Hoseok first laid eyes on him when they moved in together but he kept it on the low until he finally snapped.

"Hoseok-ah, mind helping me with the new choreo?" Seokjin asked one Sunday afternoon when all seven members were in the practice room.

They had been getting ready for a new comeback and Seokjin was known to go to Hoseok for help if he was struggling with any dance. Apparently Hoseok's 'bap' noises help him much more than Jimin's counting method, which the latter found unfair.

He tried to teach his hyung once when Hoseok wasn't around but unfortunately, it didn't work out since Jimin got too distracted by Seokjin's face and accidentally shoved his hyung. It wasn't only one time. If it was, Seokjin would have let it go but it happened at least three times and Jin complained about his bruised butt from falling over due to his dongsaengs strength. That's how it came to be that Jimin was shunned from being Seokjin's teacher by Seokjin himself.

Now he was stuck watching Hoseok have fun helping Seokjin. Most of the time Hoseok kept things innocent but on this particular day Hoseok decided to risk it all, and it was the same day they were filming an ARMY Bomb in the practice room while they perfected their new choreography.

Hoseok didn't hesitate to agree on helping Jin out, but he claimed they needed to stretch first in order to not strain their muscles and whatnot but Hoseok's idea of stretching included yoga. The suggestion itself would have raised alarms if they other's weren't distracted, but they were so Hoseok got a free pass.

Seokjin found the suggestion suspicious, but agreed nonetheless since this was Hoseok, their dance leader who had much more experience than Seokjin so the eldest trusted Hoseok knew what he was doing.

Jimin found himself watching from the other end of the room where he was helping Namjoon with a certain dance. He caught Hoseok's mischievous eyes and dangerous smirk from far away, and suddenly he was worried because that same expression is the one that belonged to the sneaky Hoseok from their trainee days.

It started out seemingly innocent so none of the other guys were bothered that much, but they still glanced over occasionally to make sure Hoseok wasn't doing anything inappropriate. What they eventually figured out was that the innocence in the stretches slowly started fading until finally there was nothing but shameless seductive attempts.

Yoongi and Namjoon were the first to notice. They had been sitting against the mirror, both taking a break from the tiring choreography. There was something soothing about watching Seokjin, his expression when he stretched, his hands on his wast as he calmed his breathing, his overall self trying his best to perfect the dance they were tasked with. The rappers found nothing soothing about the way Hoseok bed their hyung forward until he was practically in half, vision hidden from Hoseok's devious smirk as he stood behind him, hands on Jin's waist as he pushed him down farther. And how could they miss Hoseok's hips pressing against Seokjin's backside.

Yoongi faintly felt Namjoon hitting his arm rapidly, meaningless stutters leaving his mouth as he tried to form a sentence.

"Calm the fuck down," Yoongi hissed squeezing Namjoon's hand as a way to bring him back from his messy thoughts.

"I can't!" he hissed back. "Hoseok's cheating! He can't do that! He can't!"

"I know!" Yoongi said with all that much more agitation in his tone.

They turned to the maknaes for help. They surely wouldn't let Hoseok do such things to Seokjin out in the open, but their hope faded when they saw they were too busy being the main attention of the cameras.

Yoongi cursed silently. It looked like it was up to him and Namjoon to stop Hoseok from doing anything they weren't allowed to do while there was a camera around (but honestly they only wanted to do it to save Seokjin's oblivious ass from getting wrecked.)

Before Yoongi even had the chance to stand up, Seokjin stood up straight and Hoseok's once seductive expression turned innocently happy.

"Mind getting into a turtle position?" Hoseok asked. "This is to stretch out your arms and help your torso relax a bit."

"But I wont be able to see anything again," Seokjin pointed out. Hoseok only smiled, white teeth out in the open.

"Trust me hyung," he said placing a hand on Seokjin's beautifully broad shoulder.

Seokjin hesitantly nodded and got on his knees, bending until his thighs were pressed against his stomach and his forehead touched the floor, arms stretched out in front of him.

"Hold onto my ankles, I'm gonna stretch too," Hoseok advised and Seokjin did as told, grabbing onto Hoseok's ankles that were already waiting to be held, and then Hoseok leaned forward.

He was originally supposed to place his palms on Jin's lower back, Yoongi knew this because he's seen plenty of youtubers do this pose on their 'coupes yoga' challenge, but Hoseok was sneaky and he placed his hands on Jin's butt and went as far as to compliment his ass as he squeezed them.  

"Thanks Hoseok-ah!" Soekjin's voice muffled. "I've been doing squats with Taehyung recently."

"Well the results are great," Hoseok murmured, hands squeezing the cheeks softly and Yoongi was ready to attack but Taehyung came out of nowhere and pushed Hoseok back.

"What the fuck!" Hoseok yelled, falling to the floor.

Seokjin released Hoseok's ankle and sat up, looking around the room in confusion.

"Sorry," Tae apologized, an apologetic smile on his face (it was obviously fake but Seokjin didn't seem to notice.) "Jungkook pushed me too hard," he explained.

That's when Yoongi noticed Jungkook was only a few steps away from Taehyung with a glare being directed at their dance leader.

"No problem, just be careful. Hoseok could have gotten hurt," Seokjin said standing up.

Taehyung smiled genuinely at him and nodded, pulling the maknae back towards the direction of Jimin who was entertaining the camera with his dance moves.

"Remind me to take them out to eat," Namjoon whispered to Yoongi once everything calmed down.

"Same here," Yoongi muttered finally letting loose of all the tense muscles in his body.

Hoseok and Seokjin were now taking a break drinking some water so Yoongi allowed himself to visibly relax enough to talk to Namjoon.

The peaceful conversation he was having with his dongsaeng only lasted 5 minutes because Hoseok was eager to get back to stretching.

"Okay hyung now lets get on our knees, we'll be stretching our backs more thoroughly," Hoseok instructed.

Seokjin followed instructions ans fell to his knees first. Yoongi didn't miss the smirk on Hoseok's face a she stared down at Seokjin who was fixing his sweatpants.

Hoseok fell to his knees right in front of Seokjin, grabbing Jin's attention with the huge 'thump' created on the wooden tiles.

"Hold my wrists," Hoseok said holding his hands out to his hyung.

They held onto each other's wrist tightly and simultaneously leaned back until their backs were arched and Seokjin was a groaning mess.

Yoongi's eyes widened at the whimper that left Seokjin's mouth.

It took everyone by surprise, even the camera man who stared at 2Seok in complete shock because Hoseok was subtly pulling Seokjin towards him causing their hips to collide.

Seokjin's red face and ears were obvious and it only made Yoongi and Namjoon stress all that more because he wasn't doing anything to end the yoga!

Jimin was the one to save his hyungs the bloodshed this time around. He left the camera with Taehyung and Jungkook, the two unoccupied rappers frowning when they saw Jimin fill a small cup with water.

Yoongi grinned and Namjoon laughed when Jimin poured water all over Hoseok's face.

The cold water was a shock to Hoseok so he immediately let go of Seokjin in order to wipe at his drenched face.

Seokjin fell back, flushed and breathing hard, but nobody paid attention because they were too entertained by the dance leader who looked pissed as hell.

"Oops," Jimin apologized mockingly with a satisfied smirk on his face. "I tripped."

°•°•°•°•°

The Bangtan Bomb was released and Yoongi, like always, watched it as soon as it came out.

Namjoon was sat next to him on the small couch Namjoon set up in his recording studio.

The leader was on instagram (it's a secret account he shared with Yoongi in order to keep up with Seokjin stans) and things were relatively calm, as it always was when they were alone together.

As Yoongi watched the maknaes of the group smack each other's wrists, Namjoon got his attention by saying "What the fuck."

"What is it?" yoongi asked only half interested.

"Look!" Namjoon shoved his phone in Yoongi's face and the eldest of the two forcefully pushed away the phone that was close to blinding him.

"Jesus Namjoon, lower the brightness. My eyes are accustomed to the dim," Yoongi scolded.

Namjoon wordlessly lowered the brightness before shoving his phone in Yoongi's face once again.

He froze at the screenshot posted onto Instagram. It was from the Bangtan Bomb, Seokjin bending forwards to stretch and Hoseok behind him, hands on his waist and a dirty smirk on his face.

It was the same scene he saw from afar, and he ignored Taehyung's frozen grin on the camera because his attention was on the reflection in the mirror behind him. It made his blood boil at the memory how it wasn't him feeling Seokjin up.

"2seok is blowing up!" Namjoon whined. "The fans can't stop talking about them. The fansites are going crazy Yoongi!"

The latter scowled, eyes narrowing. "Fucking Hoseok," he muttered.

Part 1 / Part 2

[jae-bummer]

Thank You

Request: Hi!!! Can you please do 1)“You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” with B.A.P. Yongguk?? Please make it really angsty with a fluffy ending❤Thanks!!!

Member: BAP Yongguk x Y/N

Type: Angst (warning: mentions of anxiety/depression)

A soft glow radiated from the bottom of the studio door. You approached it slowly, quietly, moving as if you were on a covert mission. You attempted to relax your breathing, trying to make it shallow enough so you could hear over the rattling in your lungs. 

You cursed silently, hearing your heartbeat in your ears as you stood before the door. A low hum bumped the metal surface, signaling that there was life still inside. You knocked gently, remaining perfectly still as you waited. 

“Yeah?” the gruff voice within barked. You winced as you eased the door open, basking the dark hallway in a warm light. 

“Gukkie?” you squeaked, tilting your head around the corner. There was a thin figure sitting at the mixing board, nodding his head back and forth. You’d recognize the slender frame anywhere, even with a hood and bucket hat masking his face. “Yongguk?”

The man refused to look up as he continued to bop to the beat. You swept a cursory glance around the room, identifying all of the signs that he had been there over 24 hours. He had on one lamp, dimly lit from it’s exhaustive hours spent alive. The couch tucked in the back corner of the room was adorned with a crumpled blanket and a few pillows, an appropriate nest when he decided to take a fifteen minute break. Pizza boxes and to-go bags littered the small table placed in front of the couch, and you couldn’t count on all ten fingers and toes how many disposable coffee cups you saw. 

“Yongguk,” you repeated, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind you. You flipped the light switch on the wall, causing him to finally look up and wince into the light. 

“Shut it off,” he growled, yanking his headphones from his ears and tossing them on the mixing board. 

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” you grumbled, obeying his command nonetheless. 

“You know me,” he sighed, swiveling to look up at you for the first time. 

You attempted to mask the gasp that escaped your lips as your eyes traced his face. This was easily the most exhausted you had ever seen him. You were used to Yongguk being skinny and sleep-deprived, sure, that came with the territory. But this...this wasn’t him. His all black clothing hung loosely from his body, desperately needing a wash after several days. His face was gaunt, the space below his cheekbones almost hollow. The bags beneath his eyes were dark and heavy, signifying something deeper than you could even begin to realize. 

“What?” he groaned. “Are you here to lecture me? I’m so close to being done, Y/N. Just a little more time.”

“Gukkie,” you cooed, easing into a crouching position. You knew Yongguk was particular and often had a heavy atmosphere around him as he worked. You didn’t want to overwhelm him by looming over his shoulder, but instead wanted to put him at ease. “When did you last leave the studio.”

“Sunday,” he nodded confidently. “I haven’t been here too-”

“It’s Tuesday,” you said quietly, smiling at him sadly. Yongguk straightened up before turning to his computer screen. He squinted at the time and nodded. 

“Ha, it is. That’s funny...it didn’t feel like...” he trailed. He pulled off his hood and then his hat, scrubbing a tired hand through his long tendrils. “I’m almost done.”

“How about I take you home?” you asked softly. You didn’t want to leave the words with a negative connotation, like what he was doing was wrong. He was only passionately following his work, but sometimes enough was enough. “You can have a shower and we can get some food into-”

“I’ve been eating,” he confirmed. 

“Have you slept?” you asked

“A little,” he whispered sheepishly, not able to look at you directly. 

“Probably not nearly as much as your mind needs,” you sighed, resting your hand on his knee. “Your mind and body are just as important to your career as your music is. You need to show it just as much attention.”

“I will,” he confirmed. “I almost have this song perfect, Y/N. I promise I’ll go to bed after that.”

You heaved a sigh and plopped onto the floor beside him, recognizing you were in for a battle that you hadn’t prepared for today. 

Then again, that was Yongguk every day. 

You knew your boyfriend suffered from anxiety. It was nearly as bad as it had been when you originally met, but as his spotlight grew, so did his anxiousness. It had nearly killed him when he took a hiatus from music to pay closer attention to himself, but he had come back healthier than ever. You could tell he had missed the stage, missed his brothers who he had shared so much love and tragedy with.

But with that, he also returned with an insurmountable amount of guilt on his shoulders. See, the funny thing about depression and anxiety was, no matter how much he could preach about self worth and positive affirmations, it will always strike when he least expected it. 

You couldn’t pretend to know how Yongguk felt. Everyone’s anxiety was different, his included, but you knew when he arrived back to the studio, he felt a pressure he had unknowingly placed on himself to create something incredibly beautiful to signify his return to his group. He hadn’t felt self inflicted guilt like that since the days during the lawsuit, so the feeling was that of an old friend, a scratchy sweater you never really enjoyed but were forced to wear with the changing of the seasons. 

He couldn’t pretend to cope. He could only work through it the best he could. When his members no longer knew what to do, that’s when they called you in. 

“Yongguk...you can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm,” you whispered, hoping the words wouldn’t effect hm negatively. It was the truth, and although you understood what he was battling, you also knew he couldn’t keep tearing himself down. 

“Y/N,” he sighed, spinning to face you again. “...I don’t know what else to do.”

You bit your lip as Yongguk did the same, spinning so he wouldn’t have to face you. “I close my eyes, but the fire only burns brighter in the dark...and I’ve destroyed myself so many times for something beautiful, what’s one more?”

“What’s one more?” you whispered, trying to keep the tears from welling up on your lashes. You had to remain calm. You had to support him. He didn’t want to embrace his anxieties any more than you did. “Jagi, if you keep setting yourself on fire, there’s only going to be ashes left.”

“I hate this metaphor,” Yongguk groaned, his face falling into his hands. “It makes me feel like I’m falling apart.”

“You aren’t,” you cooed. “It’s just time to step back for a moment.”

“I can’t,” he insisted. “The producers expect a title track from me. It’s what we fought for. It’s what I fought for...we wanted all of this responsibility...and we wanted to be treated like humans. Isn’t the irony that we can’t even treat ourselves that way?”

He looked up to the ceiling, bitter as his lips continued to wrap around words. “We were gone for so long. And now I...I’m the leader and I had left...”

“Taking the appropriate time to take care of things, most importantly yourself,” you smiled. “I’m so proud of you and all you’ve done.”

“Then why can’t I be?” he said, his voice barely above a breath. 

You thought your heart would break into a thousand pieces as you looked up at the man you thought so much of. He was defeated and tired, everything you didn’t want for him in life. You wracked your brain, trying to figure out any way to get him home. The world was always sunnier after a few hours of sleep. 

“First goal,” you hum. “Get out of the chair.”

“What?” he asked, furrowing his brows, confusion covering his face. 

“I know your body is heavy and tired,” you cooed. “So that’s our first goal. We’re going to get you out of that chair.”

“What do you not understand about-” he began, irritation lacing his tone. He paused for a moment, making a mental note not to speak with you angrily when you’re only trying to help. He nodded. “Fine, what’s the goal after that.”

“We focus on one at a time,” you nodded happily. “On a scale of one to ten, how hard is it to get out of the chair? Ten being horrifying. One being like Goku after eating a Senzu bean.”

“Do I really have to humor you right now?” he groaned. You knew he would try to escape your enthusiasm by feigning being aloof, but you wouldn’t have it. 

“Scale,” you repeated, trying to get him to focus. 

“Alright, like a five,” he grumbled. 

“Okay,” you confirmed, pulling yourself to your feet. You lifted his hands from his lap and began to tug them gently. “Let’s get you out of here.”

“The song,” he whined. 

“Will still be here in a few hours after you’ve rested,” you smiled. “I promise. Now, on a scale of one to ten, how hard is it to get yourself to take a shower?”

“Are you saying I smell?” he whimpered. 

“I’m saying a steamy shower cleans more than just your skin,” you grinned. “You can come out of it feeling like a whole new person.” 

“Fine. Three. You made it sound better than I thought,” he muttered, slipping on his sandals and shuffling down the hall. “Then I can go to sleep and then go back to the studio?”

“We’ll negotiate,” you grinned. “We have to take care of you first.” 

“...Y/N?” he sighed, spinning to grab your hand and hold your pinky loosely. 

“Hm?”

“Thank you,” he whispered

“You’re welcome,” you chirped.

“You aren’t going to ask what I’m thanking you for?” he asked, lifting his brows. 

“Fine, what are you thanking me for?” you sighed.

“Not treating me like I’m broken...but helping me through. Things are much easier when I can realize I’m not on my own in this,” he nodded, the first genuine grin finding his face. He wrapped a gentle arm around your shoulders and pulled you in close, snuggling his face into your hair. “Thank you.”

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW4 - Walsh Wildcard Edition

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

*AND* New starting this week we’re gonna do a Slacker of the Week Lambs, someone randomly selected from our Patreon Slack channel each week, and this week it’s Rai from Slack great lad and on wildcard too with Walsh...

This week it was not random I have to admit but every week for the rest of the season it’ll be random. Get in.

—

WALSH - On Wildcard

TRANSFERS:

Wildcard

GK:

Pope (LIV)

Pope retains his spot and seems like a great long term hold. BAPs for every clean is great and he's great. Burnley look back to basics and have had great underlying defensive stats.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (bur)

Trent and Robbo also retain their spots from the old guard team.

I debated over whether to go with d33n instead of r0bbo but in the end I just trust Livp a lot more than I trust Everton and I just want to keep Robbo.

The literal worst thing I did last season was remove Robbo from my GW1 team after the first handful of games and so I'm trying to learn from past mistakes for some reason. His stats look great and he has looked great so I am sticking with him. Obv Adrian is a bit of a nutter and a lot worse than Alisson but these two fullbacks are still the creative cogs for Livp and still seem like great picks.

Laporte (BHA)

Slotting in alongside is Laporte.

I really want to have a share of the City defense and now that my break glass is gone I don't want to fuck around with Zinc or some other cuck. Laporte is as safe as safe comes and seems like a guy I could just not look at or worry about for months. See a pattern here?

MID:

Salah (bur)

Mo sticks obv. Nothing to say about that.

Sterling & De Bruyne (BHA)

Raz and Kevin are in alongside and also picks that don't really need much explanation.

Alon did float an interesting idea to go Kun over Kevin for the next couple little miniwindow of good fixtures but in the end I just didn't want to take on that risk when I view Kevin as just a guy I could hold for months.

Now that my triple City and triple Pool are out there in the open, it's time to get into the dross.

Cantwell (whu)

Cantwell is in... and although his underlying stats are questionable at best given his high points total so far... he still seems like a no brainer option right now. I have no clue how long he'll keep it up, but at his price I'll find out.

McGinn (cry)

Finally, I'm going with McGinn to round out the midfield.

I don't feel greattttt about him, but they've got pretty good fixtures in the near term and he seems to be in and around a lot of what they do so far. Villa look like they are somewhat reasonable going forward and after a nice performance against Everton maybe they will be able to score some goals in this good run.

Certainly not a long term pick here, but he'll do for now.

FWD:

Pukki (whu)

Pukki is still in... nothing to see here.

Haller (NOR)

Next to him is Haller.

He looks good and looks to be justifying the preseason hype. Realistically I was looking at him or Mount as my last call to make. I'm not sure I'm going the right direction with Haller and McGinn but it seems like an okay gamble to go for the upside play with West Ham up against NOR, avl in the next two. 

Mount seems like a better long term pick, but with a tricky next few I'll go without for a little and then reassess. Haller might also just be the truth. Pod partner loved the fuck out of him preseason, so that's a good sign. He might just be great and wetspam, as we know, are not built to defend.

BENCH:

Lundstram (che)

Rico (lei)

Nketiah (TOT)

Avert your eyes. I'm on Lundy, Rico, and Necktie.

Oh yeah and Woodman the legend.

I know the likes of Button may be in better standing with the price changes but I will not be bullied into getting rid of my Championship players. I will not stand for that. Anyway, this bench is fucking bad, but I think I'll be able to get away with it for a little bit. Lund will rotate a bit with Cantwell. Seems fine. Rico...I have no fucking idea what Edward is doing but it seems like Rico has a better chance than Kelly to have a job for more than another couple of games. Or he won't play another minute this season - who is to say.

I have no delusions about this, I will need to do something about this nightmare group at some point, but that point is not now. The biggest risk of my team is probably how absurdly bad the bench is so we'll see if that comes back to fuck me over or not.

CAP:

Sterling (BHA)

I'll be on Raz. Pretty straightforward and not going to overthink it. Should batter Brighton - hopefully he'll be in with a return or two.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Pérez, Richarlison, Gomez

IN (for -4 points hit): Mount, De Bruyne, Emerson

Clearly if your name ends in a zed then you’re straight out my fucking team.

But in actuality these moves kinda wrote themselves... I had exactly four bad picks in my side after last GW and I’m off to a solid start. Three of them are now dealt with via guys that I like short term and long term and my last bad guy, Gerry D, has a fabulous fixture so just praying on that one.

First hit of the season I have to say does not feel as thrilling as I thought it might. It kinda feels like the beginning of the end??? But I’m trying to not be dramatic about it.

GK:

Ederson (BHA)

Potter is a clever lad and gave City a scare in the cup last season but as long as Pep takes his head out of his ass and starts ‘Dinho or Rodrigo then this should be a straightforward clean.

If neither start then I’m genuinely scared and might start thinking about moving away from City defense.

DEF:

van Dijk (bur)

Liverpool haven’t cleaned home or away vs. Burnley in a long ass time and it’s understandable why. They’re tough, they’re annoying, they throw bodies around, Barnes and Wood are good, McNeil is good, Gudmundsson is pretty good, etc etc... But still, this should be a clean, and Matip’s aerial prowess will be very useful... I wonder if this is the game Gomez starts over Trent at RB for another big boy to win headers and shit? TBD.

Digne (WOL)

Should be an easy clean here. Wolves have been the worst attack in the division thus far and I see no reason for that to really turn around.

Wolves will park and barely attack and as long as Everton don’t get caught with their pants at their ankles on a Jota/Jim counter then it should be a clean. And maybe Digne will dazzle us with another worldy FK like he hit in the cup.

Nightmare for all of our eyes that this match is one of the two featured matches on Sunday. It will be a disgusting viewing experience.

Söyüncü (BOU)

Leicester have been very tight to start the season and getting Ndidi back fit is gigantic for their cleansheet prospects. I like Leicester to control this game and allow Bournemouth very little... Söy is the fucking man I love him.

Emerson (SHU)

Last but not least is the first new boy into my team, Emerson gets SHU at home.

it should be a relatively straight forward clean but I say that and they’re still without Kante and Rudiger so ugh who the fuck knows... They did a great job shutting down Norwich for the final ~60 minutes of that match and I’m hoping they continue with that form.

Emerson also has been on the ball constantly for Chelsea and creating and shooting and everything good so here here to an attacking return.

MID:

Salah (bur)

It’s sorta weird how some people are still slagging off Mo and avoiding him on wildcard and he’s not been talked about for captaincy at all. I don’t get it but whatever. He’s simply the best attacker in the league and best fantasy player in the game for the third year running. /shrug.

Sterling & De Bruyne (BHA)

Welcome to the team Kevin!! Been talking about him a lot on basically every pod this season so far so it’s nice to finally have the boy in my team.

City attack are best in the world and I feel like Sterling is the biggest piece of it you can get in one player and conversely for 9.5 the value of Kevin is just incredible. 200 points coming as usual for Kev barring injury: book it.

Mount (SHU)

Mount, another new boy and another pod darling, coming straight the fuck in...

The fixtures following Sheff U. are brutal but he’s just been so fucking good. Eye test and stats and everything about him make him very easy to love from the FPL perspective. Shooting a ton and it’s not hard to imagine another goal on the break vs. Sheff U.

FWD:

Pukki (whu)

Duh Pukki easy. Dynamite fixture should be a wide open crazy game. Can’t wait.

Deulofeu (new)

The aforementioned last shitty guy in my team is this guy.

Gerry has looked pretty good in last couple and had very nice stats vs. West Ham last week.

With Deeney out hurt you’d imagine Gerry goes back up top and hopefully Sarr comes in for Hughes and maybe Watford get going this week... They really have not been as bad as their points column shows so far. Bounce back for me lad.

BENCH:

Greenwood (sou)

Hayden (WAT)

Maitland-Niles (TOT)

CAP:

Pukki (whu)

I really foresee this being an absolute barnburner no defense yolo high-scoring face-fuck of a match and Pukki is the absolute center of everything that Norwich do scoring wise - assisting goals and scoring goals. I’m expecting a double return with an upside of more...

It’s risky and punty seeing how Sterling and other City players will makeup the huuuuuuuge percentage of caps this week but the one thing, maybe only thing?, about Sterling or Kun or Kevin vs. Pukki is that City can score 5 and one of those guys can blank... We’ve seen it happen before... I don’t really see a world where Norwich score 2+ and Pukki isn’t heavily involved....... I’m riding the hottest player in the league against a bottom 3-5 defense in the league. It’s not that crazy... right?!?!?

Hold me.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: RAI - On Wildcard

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

Wildcard

GK:

Pope (LIV)

An easy pick despite a less than ideal first fixture. Turf Moor is back to being a FOOKIN' FORTRESS and BUR keepers are always golden for FPL.

RIP Leno my sweet prince.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (bur)

Most managers started with at least 2 pool defenders and how we react to their lack of cleans defines what kind of manager you are.

I've personally gone for the 9000 IQ move of buying Robbo back for 0.1 cheaper and I look forward to their inevitable attacking returns (and hopefully some cleans too).

Digne (WOL)

Every time I watch Everton play they look unfathomably awful but Digne keeps punishing me with an endless stream of cleans, dongs, and assists.

I had him in my draft before the absurd Carabao free kick and that cemented his place for me. Just like the Pool boys Digne is a friend with benefits: a defender, offering multiple ways to slap your anus beyond cleans.

MID:

Sterling & De Bruyne (BHA)

I'm all in on City this wildcard, their mini-run of BHA nor WAT is arguably their tastiest run of the season and if there's any time to triple on City attack it feels like now.

Not much to say about these two that you don't know already but I fully expect Kevin to break his duck and score his first dong this season at home to Brighton.

Mount (SHU)

Mount is looking like the cheap value mid on a top team that we all wanted Perez to be. He is showing a Lampard-esque knack of knowing when to make late runs to pick up goals. His price point and Chelsea's medium term fixtures make him a no brainer.

Cantwell (whu)

Interlinks with Pukki well. A pure value pick with a nice attacking fixture this week.

FWD:

Agüero (BHA)

Jesus is out for at least this fixture which hopefully means a 90 minute fuck fest for Kun. I'm hoping Pep utilizes Jesus mainly for their predictably easy UCL group. Funding Kun has meant sacrificing a Pool mid which is obviously a huge risk but ultimately I'm having fun and Kun is fun.

Haller (NOR)

A definite bandwagon pick this week but the Frenchman is proving hard to ignore particularly for all of us on wildcard.

He has a nice couple of fixtures and there are plenty of strikers priced just below him to move to if it doesn't work out.

Pukki (whu)

I delayed slightly in signing Pukki and my rank plummeted faster than a piss towel so I won't be doubting the master plan again.

He's looking like the Jimi of this season.

BENCH:

Lundstram (che)

OOP cheap lad, nothing more to say here.

Söyüncü (BOU)

Considered Kelly in this spot but Söy is much more nailed and a cheap way into a solid team.

Elneny (TOT)

Non-playing 3rd bench at 4.4 mil, if I had the extra 0.1 then this would be Dendoncker.

CAP:

Agüero (BHA)

One downside of triple City attack is having no idea who to cap.

A chance of 90 minutes of Kun is hard to ignore and I’m going with the big balls play here.

[candy-corps]

Weird Colors

Greg belongs to @mygardenofmuses !

Maybe he was just passing by. Michelle saw Dae in the shop's window from within and without thinking, hunched behind the counter so he won't see her here. What was he doing here anyways? The city was big. Her heart was pounding. But good she was in company. Charming company, actually. Possibly confused, charming company. Michelle raised a hand as if she'd start to explain why she dragged Greg behind the counter with her, but ... it was too long of a story, right now. And she'd rather hold hands.

Greg was more than happy to hold hands with her, though everything was so sudden- like, why were they hiding? Did she see some ex outside that she'd rather avoid? She could punch the lights out of that guy if he dared to lay a finger on Michelle...

"Hey, why are we hiding?" he whispered to her.

Michelle changed the setting on the collar to switch voices before she replied. "It's way more fun to hide together" Michelle then replied, holding Greg's hand and smirking a bit. "And I can't be seen by - " The bell rang - the sound of someone coming into the store. Michelle got quiet right away. She wasn't sure if it was Dae...

"I gotta reply to the customer." Greg whispered. He squeezed her hand and pressed a quick kiss on her lips before getting up. He beamed when he recognized his new friend.

"Good afternoon! Oh, it's you Dae! Same pink flowers for Jessie?"

"I was thinking some ... and then I was thinking ... one ... " Dae replied, grinning crookedly. "And ... one in green? Do you have green flowers?" He meant to remember Amelia did like the color.

"Greeeen... You sure ask me weird colors, bud. There's a variety of green roses I've heard of, but it's hella expensive and I don't have enough money to buy it. I have smaller flowers close to that tone, though. Would that work?" Greg offered, keeping it professional.

Dae was already doing an 'X'-sign when Greg mentioned the word expensive. "Can I see? White would work, too." White always worked. So did orange or yellow or blue or even purple, really.

"We've got plenty of white flowers this season because many couples want it for their weddings. So we've got rose, daisies, hortensias, narcisos..." Greg left the counter and guided Dae to the section where he kept the white flowers. "See anything you like?"

"Yeah." It didn't take long for Dae to pick one that caught his eye. With Greg lured from the counter though, he could finally talk straight to him. "Why is there someone hiding behind the counter?" he asked in a low voice.

"Because she wants. Let her be for now." Greg answered, in a very low voice as well.  He picked up the flowers Dae had chosen. "So you want one, two, or a small bouquet?"

"One with a little greens around it!" Dae answered, his voice back to normal and suspiciously cheerful. "And then another one, yeah. With pinks." These were easier to find.

"Little greens... mmh... like these?" Greg points to a series of smaller flowers. He thinks they'll fit the idea Dae is talking about.  "As for pinks - you know where are they, right?"

"I'm on it" Dae said, crossing the store to go fetch one when he made just the tiniest detour to peek over the edge of the counter.

"Dae, wait! Let her alone!" Greg didn't mean to boss him around, but when Michelle was hiding... he had to have a reason. And he didn't want anyone to invade her need for private space.

"Oh it's a /her/." Well, so far so good. Dae leaned over the counter, but didn't look down. He was soon punished for his mean behaviour though when a pale hand bapped at his arm.

"I am afraid of tall people" she explained, still using that new voice.

"Aah!" Greg squeaked in surprise. She didn't expect Michelle to just... bap him out of the blue. Though Dae kinda was asking for it this time...

"Huh-uh..." he looked back at Michelle, then back to Dae. Well, this was awkward... "I swear we weren't doing anything bad before you arrived!"

"That so." Dae stepped back from the counter, out of respect of course and not out of fear he'd get hit again. Michelle in the meantime, stayed undercover.

"Now he thinks we did" she spoke up, chuckling.

"Even if we did, it wasn't on the counter. That place is completelly clean." Greg mumbled, blushing deeply. He shook his head. "What the hell am I saying... gosh... Alright Dae, let's get done with this..."

Dae took another step back from it while Michelle was just laughing openly. "I am Sarah" she introduced herself, waving at Dae - still only showing her hand.

Greg arched one eyebrow. Why was she lying about her name? Was Dae an ex-boyfriend she'd rather forget? From what he had got to learn about him, Dae wasn't a bad guy. Perhaps she was just feeling awkward about this.  Sighing, he walked behind the counter. "Let's see... Pink, White, and Green... We've got an special offer this week Dae, you'll get to pay 10$ less if you participate in the pool."

"What's the pool?" he asked, all ears now.

Michelle was glad about Greg's company. She sat down a little more comfortable.

"Just a few questions so I know how to improve my services to the customer. Here." Greg picked up a stack of papers, and handed him one of the sheets. "Fill this up with your name, phone, then answer the questions. They're quite easy."

"Oh that's easy." Dae picked the paper to do just that, but he'd still give his two cents about customer service anyways. "How about you tell how you and Sarah met?" It may be a nice story.

"Oh, let's say... it was one night night. The stars were shining, the lights of the place were dim... we got to know each other... it was nice..." Greg left the sex out of the story because he didn't want to reveal too much. He wasn't sure how much Michelle would be OK with him revealing, after all!

"So a blind date?" Interesting. Dae was still busy to fill out the paper.

"Kind of." Greg fidgeted nervously. He looked down to Michelle. Was she ok scrunched up like that? It seemed Dae wasn't an ex after all, so... what else could be the reason why she was avoiding him?

How can you 'kind of' have a blind date? Dae would ask Greg about that closer, some other time. He assumed they got to know each other in some forum or so, for now. "Um ... okay. When Sarah got her fear covered we could ... meet with Jessie sometime. Lemme know when I can help" he said, talking over the counter to Greg's ... friend ... woman.

"Uh. That would be nice. What do you think... Sarah?" The name was foreign in his lips. He hoped Michelle would give him some explanations later.

Who was Jessie? "Yeah, sure" Michelle replied, sounding sure of herself while frowning, actually.

"Then It's settled." Greg felt his shoulders relax. Somehow, it seemed the most awkward part was over. "So... it will be 15$, as always."

And he'd shed a tear on the inside, as always. Dae handed the money over and took the two small bouquets. Jessie would be happy. And Amelia less angry, for sure. "Thanks, Greg."

"You're welcome. Anything for a friend." Greg patted gently his arm.  "Bet Jessie will love those flowers. Have a good day!"

Dae nodded at that. He wasn't ready to talk about Amelia yet. He meant to mention the last couple of times that he walked in the store, but it somehow, never fit. "See you around" he said his goodbyes. "Bye, Sarah" he didn't forget to mention, too.

"See youuu!" Greg waved at him, watching him go. He hoped things worked out for him. Dae was a really nice guy.

He looked at the spot where Michelle was hiding and knelt by her side. "Are you OK, Michelle?"

She was. But then again, she wouldn't mind some hand holding. Michelle held hers up for Greg to take. "Who's Jessie?" she wondered.

Greg held her hand and helped her up. "I think she is Dae's girlfriend. They are always together." he answered. "Why did you lie to him?"

"He hates me" Michelle replied shortly. She inched up to Greg. When they were standing next to each other, they might as well hug. Her gaze though stayed on the entrance, just checking if Dae would return any soon.

"Hate you? Why?" Greg wrapped his arms around her. He could feel her unease. Better to help her out. When they were hugging her could shield her as well, so...

"I don't know. I can think of a few ... reasons" she admit. "Maybe it's just some teenage rebellion. He knows who I am though. Better than maybe anyone else."

"What connection exists between you two?" Greg asked, raising one hand to caress her hair. Her words kept raising questions in his mind, but he was going one step at a time.

Michelle could think of a couple of lies that Greg was likely to believe when she said them. But she wanted to give this a chance. And it was hard to imagine any harm to get to her or Damien when he pet her hair like this. "He's my son. Well. When my son is going to be 10 years older, he is going to be this one. There was some fantastic timetravelling happening, I don't know. But now there's Damien ... and Dae. And he hates me. For something I did in the future, I figure, or something he found out in the future." She held Greg, too. There was an immense comfort to know he spend her company.

"Then we better work together into giving you a better future, so he doesn't hate you." Greg offered, kissing the top of her head. "I know portals and timetravelling can be crazy. But the good thing of the future is that we're still in time to change it, and create a better one, don't you think?"

That was a nice way to look at it. And deserved a kiss on the corner of Greg's jaw.

Greg blushed with her kiss. Holding her close, Greg pressed a little kiss to the tip of her nose.  Then another to her lips. "You're so lovely..."

At least Greg liked her, then. Michelle kissed him, too, her worries pushed away for now.

Greg nuzzled gently her hair. "Now we're alone... Wanna go to the private room?"

"With nobody else here, this is a private room, also" Michelle found, smiling.

"There's the risk of being caught." Greg whispered, gettig up to stand on his feet, and pulling her up with him. "Unless you don't mind that..."

"Caught? In what act ... " she wanted to know then, leaning to him so her breasts grazed his chest, " - would we be caught?"

"Oh, I don't know." Greg smirked. "We could be, huh... hugging... kissing... making out... touching each other in naughty ways... if you get what I mean..."

"No ... " Michelle shook her head, playing like she had no way what he was talking about. "What naughty ways" she asked, her eyes wide and innocent while her finger trailed over Greg's butt.

"A bit like what you're doing right now." Greg arched one eyebrow. "Or something like this too." Leaning forward, he pressed a quick kiss on her neck.

"Now that's ... in no way naughty" Michelle replied, nuzzling Greg. "That's sweet." She turned to him to kiss him, way softer than intended.

Greg smiled with her kiss. She could be so hot, and so sweet at once. It was wonderful. Almost without thinking, he pressed his body to hers. Once they parted for breath, he nuzzled her neck.   "I am going to pick up Jay from my parents' place later. I'd like you could stay the night... that way you could meet him." he whispered.

"How old was he again?" She assumed young, but she didn't know how much. Michelle slid on the counter with her legs spread.

"He just turned 2." Greg answered, leaning forward to nuzzle her chest. "It was his birthday just a few days ago."

Two. "Damien was adorable when he was two" Michelle remembered. Really, he was adorable at any given age, but with 2 ... too. "I'd love to see him. Stay with you ... " Yes, that, too. Michelle closed her eyes as he enjoyed Greg's attentions. She wrapped her foot arond him, pulling him close enough to have him feel the warmth between her legs .

"Who's Damien?" Greg asked, as he slid a hand into her panties. Gotta test the waters first, though her gesture was inviting enough - he didn't want to rush things too much.

"My child." Wow. The fact that she could say it without grabbing his hand and twisting it, making him swear on his mothers life that he would keep that to himself ... It showed the yoga classes did their magic on easing her mind up to being open. "Like ... " Oh, Greg. Michelle opened her legs more for him, giving him access to feel her. " - Dae, but younger." Dear Goodness. She was wet for him alright, but tense, too. A little worried, she looked up at Greg for guidance.

"...Oh. So Dae is your son, too? Wow." Reality just hit Greg like a truck. So he was falling in love with his friend's mother. Well, that kinda explained why she hid from him. Dae wouldn't take too well knowing he has feelings for her... Again, Michelle was protecting him.  It was so sweet from her.

"It's all good." he whispered, nuzzling her forehead as he tested her folds. So wet and nice. He began to stroke gently her clit.

"In a way." She made a vague gesture with her hand, laughing about that up until she let out a moan. Greg teased her and reassured her, and it send two kinds of warmths through her heart. Two. She used to barely feel anything, but these days, being around Greg, had helped so much. She did feel strongly, and she wanted that man. How long has it been. Michelle cupped Greg's face, leaned in and opened her mouth.

Watching her go for a kiss, Greg was more than happy to do so. He opened his mouth as well, letting his tongue caress her own the moment their lips touched. All while his fingers kept flicking and teasing her clit, as gently as he could. Truth to be told, he wanted her too. He was growing hard quickly... but they had time, all the time of the world.

"I need you, Michelle..." he whispered between kisses.

"Here." The counter? She would like that. So much so, her expression was fond as she kept looking at Greg. "I'd like to feel you" she confessed, easing up now. She remembered the last time and how considerare Greg had been, even when there was trouble. Michelle began pulling down the short black pants she wore.

Greg looked past her one second. It seemed no more customers would show up today, so... This place worked. "Here works." he assured her, and decided to unzip his pants as well. Good thing he carried a condom in his pocket, just in case. He picked it up before he slid down his boxers, letting her see he was just as excited as she was. "Now... where were we...?" he asked with a purr.

"Who cares where we were. I like where we -are- ... " Michelle said, pulling her feet up which made undressing easier. She kept her top on - all for appearance - but sat on the counter butt naked from her middle downwards. She pulled her legs together and brushed her slip down her ankle, from where it dropped to the ground. She looked up at Greg like it had been an accident, but was smirking all the same.

Greg blushed deeply at her gesture. That was so damn arousing! A rush of blood made his cock stand, even without his hands to hold it. With an erection like this, better to put on the condom already - something he did in no time.  "Me too..." he whispered, brushing her legs gently.  "Would you open up for me? Please?"

"How did you know it was the magic word?" she teased him smiling, elbows on her knees now and head rest in her hands. Her ankles shifted to the sides though, giving away her peachy entrance. She even shifted further to the edge for him. "Like so?" she asked, her eyes getting dark as she glimpsed to Greg's erection.

"Lucky guess." Greg smirked, as he lifted his hands to caress her hips. The way she was offering herself to him was more than entincing, it was almost hipnotic, a desire that was there and needed to be sated.   "Like this, it's awesome." he whispered, leaning forward to tease her folds with his hardness. So warm...

It was close to embarassing how sappily her body craved for Greg's attention. Just to test it, Michelle tried to look unimpressed - but straight away, she relaxed, her cheeks turned rosy and a tingling sensation had her know she was stepping up her game on getting wet for her -lover. Michelle folded her arms around her knees and pulled them to her even more. Greg had liked when she was tight. She kept eye contact with him and was just so very pleased with the situation. "You're welcome" she let him know.

"Hehe, I was about to say 'thank you'." Greg was so happy with this situation. Having sex in his workplace... To think he never had done such a thing before! She definitely awakened that bolder side of his. He cupped her cheek and caressed it. "Thank you, Michelle. You're the best." he whispered, before he began to slide in, very slowly, to ensure she would have time to adjust.

Michelle leaned her head on his hand and even closed her eyes for the moment. Sitting like this really increased intensity, and yes, stalled time. Both was nice. In the end, Michelle loosened up faster than the last time, even, doing it like this. "There ... " she moaned then, Greg's cock deep enough inside her now to graze her sweet spot. "'more" she allowed, wanting Greg to go deeper. Her lips parted as she kept looking at him again.

Greg decided to pull her closer, so it was easier to reach her sweet spot. Noticing how her body seemed loose and relaxed, he took that chance to make a series of slow, yet deep thrusts. He wanted her to enjoy this as much as he was. "Micheelle... nngh..." he whispered, covering her neck with kisses. These clothes were on the way and he couldn't kiss her chest like this! His hands tugged a little at her shirt as he kept moving. When their eyes met, he blushed lightly. What a beautiful woman she was. Almost without thinking, Greg kissed her deeply. By the gods, he adored her, he wanted her so much...

"Aaah .... " Michelle moaned loudly, breaking the kiss with that without meaning. She locked her lips with Greg's again, but again he kept thrusting just right which lead her to moan and part her lips so they just brushed against him. She loved this, though. Letting go of her knees, her hand tangled in Greg's hair to keep him with her. Kiss him and moan, she could do both. Her knees of course parted, but it was alright. She'd no longer mind when they would go fast.

If there was one way to feed Greg's fire, it was messing with his hair. In moments like this, some touches over there were the cherry on top of the cake. and being this pleased, Greg quickened the pace a bit, little by little. In the brief moments Michelle used to moan, Greg called her name in her ear, again and again, his voice husky. "Michelle... nngh... Michelle..." he whimpered, as he kept poking her g-spot.

So good. "Hah ... " Michelle panted, panting now. One of her hands had to support her on the counter as she leaned back in pleasure. "Mmmh ... " she hummed, "Amour... " Her leg caressed his side and gently, wrapped around him.

It was a good thing one of Greg's favourite subjects in school was French, because he could understand what she said. Letting out a happy noise, Greg raised one of his hands to caress her hair. "Ma chérie..." he whispered, nuzzling her neck. He didn't want to come so soon, but the heat had started to build up inside him...

What! He couldn't just ... french on her. And out of all of the things ... say ... that. Michelle's grasp softened. She pet over Greg's head. Oh that silly boy that made her so happy. Her hips moved towards him with each thrust now. Aside that, she kept squeezing him when he tried to move out. He shouldn't leave. He was quite good where he was. "Mon amour ... " she said again, more urgently this time.

"Nnghh... Aaahh....!" Greg started to pant. When she squeezed him like that, she took his breath away! Clinging to her, the young man began to move with shorter, quicker thrusts, not wanting to move too far away from her either. Faster, faster... The heat and the pressure in his cock was about to drag him to the edge. "M-Michelle... I'm going to cum...!"

"Yeah ... Deep ... " she asked him. "Oh Greg ... " She reached the edge, too. Too pleased to hold it, she relaxed around him again, only the deeper parts of her tight now. "Aaaaahh ... " Michelle whimpered while she tried to keep their hips locked, wrapping her second leg around him, too.

"MICHELLE! AAHHH!" He squeaked her name when he came, practically shaking as his cock released spurt after spurt deep into her. He kept thrusting until it was over - and only then he stopped.  They had left a mess on the counter, but oh, it was so worth it.  Greg held her close and kissed her gently, caressing her back. "Merci... Merci, ma chérie..." he whispered in her ear.

"You were not supposed to .... " she started, bt really, who cared. It felt so right and she wasn't quite done orgasming, too - her insides still pushing Greg's cock now and then. And he held her, which always made things better as well. Michelle embraced Greg in return and also had the decency to squeeze him some more, milking the last of his spare seed out of him. "Oh, Greg" she sighed, happy.

"Mmmhhh..." Greg trembled with that last squeeze. Oh, that felt so good. He barely had any strength left, but he still could pleasure, and that last bit was something really nice to feel after coming so much as he did.  "T-thank you... I... I was fairly good with French in school. Good thing it came in handy, hehehe!"

"I didn't know you'd know what I was ... " she started, but trailed off. She had no plan yet. Should they joke about it? Or - god forbid - talk? No. How about ... she'd just keep hugging him.

"I did not know. But when I heard you speaking French, well... I thought it would be polite to answer in the same language." Greg chuckled and kissed her hair. "And hey, it's fine if you're French. It's a nice country. Paris, the camembert cheese, the "Beauty and the Beast" fairytale... many good things came from there."

"Shhh ... " Michelle hushed him quietly. She didn't want to drag him into trouble. He already knew too much. Besides - that wasn't what she meant. "I liked what you called me."

"Ma chérie?" he echoed with a smile. "If you like it, I'll keep calling you that." he whispered, right before leaving a kiss on her cheek.

Oh, she did. Michelle turned her head as well and kissed Greg's chin in return. Her hold on him loosened as the fatigue kicked in and her feet lowered until she sat on the counter again, her legs still spread.

"Should I pull out? I don't want to hurt you..." Greg asked, noticing her tiredness. He rubbed gently her back, mostly to comfort her.

Michelle just nodded. It was fine and it was kind that Greg was asking.

Noticing her gesture, Greg began to slid out  slowly,  making sure she could draw some pleasure from such action. Once it was out, he raised one hand and caressed her cheek. "It's almost closing hours, too.  Shall we close the shop, pick up Jay, and go home?" he suggested. "I don't mind waiting a little more, though. Hugging you is so nice..."

Too good he was okay with that. Michelle exhaled, leaned up - and slid over the counter and leaned against Greg with her arms wrapped around him. Staying close for some time longer, that sounded about right.

Greg kept hugging her, ocassionally leaving kisses on top of her head. He had noticed how much she liked the hugging. It was one of the many cute qualities that he adored about her. He just hoped Jay didn't mind waiting a little longer.

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 17} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^ 

@purelyple said: never clicked so fast in my whole life for a vampire fic. 

Thank you so much :3

Anonymous said: the enDING ARE YOU K I D D I N G ME i need it to be next tuesday right now immediately

I apologise for ending that chapter right then! It was 6,000+ words and it was definitely running on for too long ^^ Thank you so much for reading it my dear =)

@mysr3 said:  Thank you Sara!!! IWSY sigh~  so good! Can't wait for the next part. Although I'll be spending Valentine Day alone, I'll have this to accompany me and make my heart fluff❤️❤️❤️

Thank you very much! At least the next chapter will be a lovely one for Valentines Day for all us lonely souls spending it alone hehe c:

Anonymous said: The reason Tae wanted her to wait before he could get out of view from the mirror was because of the whole vampire thing right?

I’m afraid not my love! I have already laid out my lore of a Vampire’s reflection in Chapter Two when I said that Vampires DO have a reflection (along with not being destroyed in sunlight.) The reason why Taehyung would have moved out of view is because he would have wanted her to see only herself without seeing him in her field of vision ^^

Anonymous said: I absolutely love IWSY! Your writing style is amazing and I always look forward to reading a new chapter❤  Do you have any tips for writing fanfiction? I would like to start writing too but I don't have good ideas.. 😂😊

Thank you so much my dear ^^ I’m really happy you’re enjoying it. I made a post a little while back with some tips so I’ll link it to you here!

Anonymous said: Do you have any idea how long the IWSY serie will be? I loooooove it so much btw

Like I have said before, I have no idea how long it will be going on for. You’ll know when I do! :D Thank you so much for reading it my love :)

Anonymous said: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH 

*screams back* WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OKAY

Anonymous said: Eventhough this chapter of IWSY is all about Y/N being excited about the dress and everything, i can't help but feel nervous about the upcoming ball. TT Yoongi actually scares the crap out of me in this story xq How amazing that you can make me feel this way with writing! Love you 💕

Are you feeling the calm before the storm? *whispers* good~ hehe Thank you so much for reading it! ^^

@omelys-space said: Again amazing update as always ~ ❤ Now I have two things:  I need that dress in my life 😍 the way you described it was so stunning  And can ChimChim and TaeTae get any cuter?! 🙈 I am freakishly excited to see Kooks reaction next week 😄 Ohhh and to learn more about her power that she has

Thank you very much ❤  I’m so happy you enjoyed it! And yes - I really want/need a dress and shoes such as the ones in my fan fiction hehe~ Yes! There are many things to be revealed! I’m excited to show them ! ^^

@bangtan-bap-sonyeondan said: I was feeling down earlier and just thought I'd search around the scenario tag and I stumbled across I won't stop you and I read the entire series and then waited for this new part and I love it. I couldn't stop reading all parts and did it in one sitting. I hope you keep at it and I'll look forward to each upcoming part!

I’m so happy that you could find my series and it could make you (hopefully) feel a little better ^^ Thank you so much for reading it and messaging me to tell me, as well! *hugs* I will definitely finish it until the end of the story! You have no need to worry about that :)

Anonymous said: Ok wow.Wow.I've never had a full chapter of changing into a dress get me excited and smily at 2 am when I have to wake up at 7 to study. Wow.You killed me.You should at lest come to my funeral *cries a red river*.MY GOOOOOODDDD. But seriously, I was hoping to get some reaction from jungkook.I can't believe I have to wait a whole week for that omo kill me  Plz make the next chapter loooong with maaaaaaanyy secrets revealed and maaany important details!!!Looking forward to it!THAnks SARS I LOVE U!

I’m happy to know that you enjoyed reading about the dress! I wanted to fully explain everything because of what will happen at the ball ;) There’s method in my madness, I promise you! And don’t worry, you’ll get a worthy description of Jungkook’s reaction next week (seeing as it’s Valentines Day as well ❤ ) This chapter was actually the longest chapter I’ve ever written (6,000+ words heh) Thank you for reading and looking forward to the next one, I love you too!!

@pandafish said: goodness! the gown sounds absolutely beautiful.  and what a fitting color ;)

I really want a dress like the one I described c: It’s like my dream dress! Haha and yes, a very fitting colour indeed ;)

Anonymous said: Oh my gosh, I am absolutely in love with I Won't Stop You! Your writing is so great! It's so detailed and the story is beautiful!

*blushes* Thank you so much! I really feel like the dress needed to be explained in great detail as I wanted you (as the reader) to be able to envision the next scenes perfectly and exactly how you look! :D

Anonymous said: WOW!!! I WONT STOP YOU PART 17 was so good!!!!!!!! I loved it!!!!! But is there a picture of the dress????? I would really love to see it!!!!!!

Thank you so much beautiful! Unfortunately, there is no picture as I created it from my imagination (as there is a reason why Taehyung and Jimin designed it the way they did ;D) - but THE SHOES ARE A REAL THING. Follies Strass by Christian Louboutin are the most beautiful heels I’ve ever seen.

Anonymous said: "You ARE a princess"  Me: *is suspicious* 🤔 lmao now that I think about it they mention her looking/being a princess a lot...😏

Haha aww it’s more so because she has no idea that Jungkook is ACTUALLY a Prince. It’s more of an inside joke that they are keeping from her - especially when she said she felt like a princes ^^

@gwynethjodie said: You are truly a gifted writer. I'm just realizing I've only been reading "I Won't Stop You", when I should be reading all your work. The way you've set everything up in IWSY is indescribable, it feels like i'm watching a movie from all the details, imagery and scenes. Every scene feels so significant to the story and in no way feels like fillers. I was dying for a picture of the dress&such from the last chapter, but maybe you didn't provide one cause you wanted the reader to envision themselves

This is truly such an amazing message to receive. You really made me smile and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I’m so incredibly happy that you feel this way and that you can see everything so clearly in IWSY because that’s exactly what I was hoping for. And yes - unfortunately there is no picture of the dress because I created it entirely from the realm of my head haha - but if you want to get an idea of the shoes, they are a real thing! Follies Strass by Christian Louboutin are just...so beautiful...^^ Thank you so much my love, I hope you have a great day :)

@audreymv said: I wont be able to say an opinion about this chapter sadly because I decided im going to read it when the other or next part comes out. I feel bad but i knowing you this chapter is probs really good

There’s no need to feel bad! You can read it whenever you wish :) I know some people like that who don’t watch TV series until the series has finished airing so that they can watch it all in one go. So I don’t mind at all my love! The series will remain on this blog for you to return to whenever you want to :)

Anonymous said: I'm not even an army but your jungkook vampire!au appeared on my dash and I started reading just for fun and now I'm obsessed BC ITS SO GOOD!!!!! and I'll follow your weekly updates now. I really liked your writing and keep on doing girl 'cause you're good FIGHTING

Ahhh thank you so much! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it despite not being an army ^^ I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of the series cutie ^^ Have a great day!

Anonymous said: Hey. Just want to let you know once again that I really like your writing and this story!!! I have been waiting for the dress reveal for soooooo long!!! I was having quite a bad day until got home and got the notification that you had updated the story! It made my day to see that you had put up the new chapter! IWSY makes me look forward to tuesdays and i'm really happy that you continue to write! :-) I really liked the chapter and I hope the next one will be just as amazing!!! ~Ro :-)

I hope the dress didn’t disappoint you then ;D I know I kept a secret for a very long time - and there are still more things that I think a lot of people are dying for me to uncover heh ^^ But that’s just the story! I think it’s a little harder because I release it week by week. If it was a book, it would all be revealed in an instant ^^ Thank you so much for reading the chapter and I’m glad you liked it Ro! :D

Anonymous said: TAEHYUNG CALLED HER A PRINCESS!!!?! IS THAT A CLUE OF SOME SORT???!?

Ahhhhh it appears that you’re all so clued into my double meanings and hidden intentions ;) But I promise you that he is just producing an inside joke because she said she felt like a princess, and it’s funny because Jungkook is actually a REAL prince :P

Anonymous said: I BET HE ISNT EVEN GONNA BE THERE WHEN (Y/N) WALKS OUT. //flips tables// cant wait for the next chapter kthnx

Oh come on I’m cruel but I’m not THAT cruel! ;P It would be funny tho “Sorry (Y/N) I had to leave I got tired of waiting” lmao xD Thank you so much for reading it babe!

Anonymous said: Sara, you leave me in absolute awe. This dress that yn has is so beautiful even though I can't actually see it. You're a master of your craft much like tae and jimin are of their dress making omg I am in love with this series and can't wait to see jungkook. That was so sweet how tae told yn to love him no matter what and just omg I teared up. Thank you so much for this. I'm in love with you in the most platonic way 😭😭😭😭 thank you so much Sara ❤️❤️❤️❤️-also I hope your mom is healing well :)

Master of my craft *blushes* YOU FLATTER ME TOO MUCH DEAR ANON. I’m so happy that you could envision it clearly in your mind, that’s what I was hoping for ^^ I love you too my dear! And thank you so much for this beautiful message - you’re making me tear up!! And yes - my Mum is home now and she’s healing well so I’m super duper happy about that! Thank you for mentioning it ^^

Anonymous said: ...I'm crying. That was emotional asf ok. how can words on a screen make me feel this way I don't understand lol. I can tell that you put so much of yourself into your writing cuz I can feel the emotions from reading it. If that makes sense lol. Your writing is better than amazing ok can't wait til next week! Also idk if it's just a side thing for you or you want to make it a career, but I support you and your writing 100% and I know I'm not the only one 💕💕💕

It makes perfect sense, don’t worry! I’m so glad that I could put my emotion into it and make you feel it too ^^ Your message was so uplifting and kind, so thank you for that from the bottom of my heart :) *hugs* You’re amazing and I hope your day is as amazing as you are! Thank you also for reading the chapter beautiful ^^

Anonymous said: this chapter thobsjsjidj i feel like im reading a book holy shit youre very detailed i can literally see the dress infront of me lmao

I’m so happy you appreciate the detail that goes into each chapter! And I hope you enjoyed the chapter my love - and that the dress pleased you! :D hehe Thank you so much c:

Anonymous said: So this is what I am going to do - I'm going to wait until next Tuesday so you've updated two times, so I have two new chapters of IWSY to read, since I don't want them to end

That’s perfectly alright with me! You do what makes you happiest my dear ^^

@doubletroublesince1994 said: OH MY LORD THIS CHAPTER IS BEAUTIFUL ♥ I wonder if you have a picture of the dress that you wrote about, I would love to see it  (Tumblr unfollowed you wtf does this happen often?)

Thank you so much beautiful ^^ And no, unfortunately the dress came from my imagination - but if you would like to see the shoes, they are a real thing! Follies Stress by Christian Louboutin ^^ hehe And oh no! Silly Tumblr :( Don’t worry my love, it’s all good!

Anonymous said: I BET Y/N IS A PRINCESS OF SOME SORT

INCORRECT!

Anonymous said: Genuinely the only writer who can make me read thousands of words about putting on a dress (well I suppose it's not just A dress, but anyway) and still have me captivated until the very last word...  You're so talented 🙈💕  - UK anon

Haha I’m glad it could do that for you! Well, it was mostly about the dress but there was important lore about natum lamia in there too c: And of course, Taehyung’s way of telling her that no matter what happens, she should always go with her heart and love Jungkook ^^ Thank you very much for reading it my dear! I’m happy that you enjoyed it :)

@jynxy24 said: Newest part of IWSY was :3 Atleast you didn't play with my feelings :D I have nothing to say except thank you lolol. Stay Awesooooooome!!

See? I’m not ALL cruel and bad :P Thank you so much for reading Jynxy my love c:

Anonymous said: Is it weird that I can hear "She Is" by Jonghyun playing in mynhead on the last chapter? I don't know the significance to it. It's just a fleeting thought, really.

I’ve never listened to that song, so I will listen to it when I have a spare moment! Thank you for telling me about it :D

@line-fangirl said: Thanky you so much for i wont stop you xxx (cont.) I swear im always afraid that if i read too fast the chapter would end soon i love it <3 :3

Awww you’re so sweet! You’re very welcome and thank you so much for reading it :D And take your time with reading it and absorb everything! Each chapter has some kind of lore or important information to the story, do don’t miss it! ;D hehe

@animeimmortal said: I. WANT. THEM. TO. BE. TOGETHER. SO. BAD. GAHHHH (cont.) AND STAY TOGETHER CUZ LIKE UGH. yoongi will fuck things up I know that for sure but I want them to stay togetherrrrrrr :/ *still loving it*

They are together thooooo! c: But yes, there is the threat of Yoongi~ I wonder if he’ll really show up to the ball and who will accompany him? ;o eheh~ thank you so much for reading the new chapter my love :D

[iamashamedofmyfanfics]

BAP (any pairing) for prompt 6?

“I’m going to make you wish you were dead” “jokes on you I already do” “do… you need to talk?” “no.”  one right?

okay so this turned out way longer than i thought it would im sorry.

[ao3 version] i posed it there too bc why not

Jongup likes to think he’s a good person. It was why he became a doctor and why he kept accidentally getting on the bad side of criminals who were less happy saving human life than he was. It was only a matter of time, in a world like his where superpowers were common place, that a villain would either kill him or take him captive. He should probably feel lucky it’s the later.

Himchan- Jongup had caught the name from a loud-mouthed lackey of the man- was pretty keen on keeping him alive, it seemed. A hostage, or something like that. Jongup felt betrayed by whatever system of karma existed in the world. 

So it stands to reason Jongup isn’t very happy. Jongup likes to consider himself a good person, tries to be nice. But he’s not putting up with bad treatment without some sort of fight. The best he can do, tied up and stuck in a corner, is to talk back. When threatened, when hit, he talks. Tries to be as annoying as humanly possible.

“If you don’t shut up,” Himchan says, turning to glare after one of Jongup’s many comments. When he lifts a hand, it isn’t very threatening until Jongup remembers Himchan has pain manipulation as one of his powers. The other is flying. “I’m going to make you wish you were dead,”

“Jokes on you I already do.” Jongup freezes. If he could, he’d have slammed his hands against his mouth and hoped no one had heard him. He’d spent years keeping comments like that behind closed doors, so no one would worry. Himchan stares.

“Do… you need to talk?”

“No.” Jongup responds as quickly as possible. Out of all the people in the world, he’s not going to have a villain be the one who worries for his mental health.

Himchan leaves the room.

Jongup would like to consider himself a good person. Thus he feels like he doesn’t deserve this. The lackey- the same who had spilled Himchan’s name- sits in front of him, talking. And talking. And talking. If it wasn’t for their situation, Jongup might have actually been okay with how much he talked. However, being that Jongup was tied up and being held hostage, he wasn’t having such a great time.

“Daehyun, stop talking to the hostage.” Someone else, who Jongup doesn’t recognize, calls the lackey- Daehyun, apparently- away. Leaving Jongup to his own devices.

For approximately ten minutes, at least. Himchan comes into the room, crosses it in quick strides, and is pulling Jongup to his feet.

“Yo.” Is the best Jongup can manage, before Himchan circles around him. At first Jongup is ready to be unceremoniously pushed, probably to walk forward, but instead he feels the rope holding his arms together come apart. “Um?”

“Come on then.” Himchan grabs his arm, pushing him forward.

“Wait what?”

“I’m taking you home.”

“I have many questions. First: why? Secondly: why? Thirdly: right now?”

“Firstly and secondly: because I have no use for a hostage who doesn’t value their own life. Thirdly: yes.”

“I value my life plenty.” Jongup pauses, shrinking under Himchan’s glare. “Usually?”

“I worry about you.”

“You threatened my life.”

“Yeah but I didn’t mean- I mean- Uh.”

“Didn’t mean it?”

“Don’t tell anyone my name.”

“Or what?” Jongup raises an eyebrow. “You’ll make me wish i was dead?”

“I changed my mind, I’m throwing you out of the window.”

Himchan doesn’t throw him out of the window. In fact, true to his word, he drops Jongup at his house and leaves. Jongup, mind still trying to catch up with the whole situation, stumbles into his apartment to find his roommate a mess. Junhong clutches him with calls of “I thought you were dead” and Jongup doesn’t know what to do about the whole thing.

Daehyun is not a good villain. Jongup had realized that upon meeting the other man. To be perfectly fair, none of HImchan’s ‘crew’ were. Even Himchan himself seemed to have a soft spot for the civilians they threatened. It was upon realizing none of them had actually killed anyone that things start to click for Jongup. Which is why he’s not too worried when Daehyun makes likely empty threats to a crowd.

Jongup strolls up with almost no hesitance. People gawk. Jongup pushes past Daehyun to check on his captive. Daehyun gawks. He hears Himchan make an annoyed noise from the other side of clearing the villains had created.

“Don’t just stand there!” Himchan calls, but Daehyun seems at a loss for what to do. Himchan storms over, pull Jongup away from his patient- who is uninjured- and opens his mouth to make threats. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Being a doctor?”

“Do you want to die?”  Himchan closes his mouth in realization as soon as the words are out.

“Sometimes?”

Police sirens have Himchan ordering a retreat and Jongup purses his lips until he’s out of public view. Then he laughs. What an odd situation he’s ended up in.

“I’m going to make you wish you were never born.” Another villain, a much more dangerous one at that, threatens. Jongup responds without thinking.

“Too late I already do…” Jongup tries to hold back the words. The end of the sentence comes up fumbled as Jongup can’t seem to stop them. The other villain raises and eyebrow, then laughs.

“Then this wont be a problem for you?”

Jongup is pushed off a roof.

Jongup likes to think he’s a good person. Karma is a load of nonsense, if that’s the case. While falling, all he can seem to think is “no one appreciates my fatalistic humor.”

He’s caught. So maybe Karma is real, Jongup thinks. It takes a few moments to register that Himchan has caught him, and even longer for that to fully process. He’s back on the ground when Himchan sighs, frowning at him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to like… talk to someone?’

“I wasn’t trying to get killed.”

“You need to be more careful.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Jongup really doesn’t think a criminal should be lecturing him about anything.

Jongup likes to think he’s a good person. It was why he became a doctor in the first place. So, as a doctor, he wants to save lives. No matter whose it is.

Himchan shows up at his apartment, bleeding from the shoulder and head. Jongup doesn’t hesitate to pull him inside- ignores Junhong’s questions of who it is and why they’re bleeding- and takes to cleaning his wounds and bandaging him.

“Why’d you come here?”

“Well I can’t go to a hospital.”

“Yeah but..” Jongup trails off, unable to think of anything that would make Himchan not come to him.

“You wont turn me in.”

“You don’t know that.”

Jongup doesn’t turn him in.

Jongup likes to think he’s a good person. So it’s only natural that he lets HImchan stay, asleep on his couch, for a while. He needs to recover where the police wont be looking for him, Jongup thinks. The fact he shouldn’t be hiding a villain hardly registers. Junhong questions him, but Jongup makes up excuses.

“He found me after I went missing.” It’s a lie, but Jongup thinks it’s close enough to the truth to be okay. “We’re sort of… friends.”

Friends seems a little too fitting a term.

Himchan wakes up to soup, and to Jongup worriedly checking his wounds.

“What’d you tell your roommate?”

“You found me after I went missing before. That we’re friends.”

“Friends, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Jongup.”

“Yeah?”

“Friends tell friends that they should talk to someone if they’re depressed.”

“Friends also tell friends to not be criminals, it’s bad for their health.”

“That’s fair.” Himchan laughs. Jongup pauses, then laughs too.

“Quite the pair of friends we are, huh?”

“Seriously though you should talk to someone.”

“As soon as you stop being a villain, sure.”

Jongup stares when Daehyun points accusingly at him. “What did you do?!”

“What did I do?”

“Himchan said he was quitting our gang! He’s the leader how does the leader quit?!”

Jongup blinks, Himchan stares. Junhong grins. “So as it turns out, our friends are friends. Yongguk introduced me and I was like ‘hey i know him.’”

“Oh, is that so?” Jongup sighs. “That’s… great.”

“So about that deal,” Himchan starts, grinning at the groan Jongup gives.

“Yeah. Okay, Mom, i’ll go talk to someone.” Silently Jongup morns his wallet, but he likes to think he’s a good person and good people keep their promises. Even if he had technically been joking at the time.

Himchan turns out to be pretty good guy when he’s not being a villain.

It takes a couple weeks to question why their friends know each other.