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imlessashamedofmyfanfics · 7 years

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Birthday Lunches (Woozi)

Birthday Lunches (by imlessashamedofmyfanfics)

Pairing: Reader/Woozi (side, platonic reader/seungkwan) Reader’s Gender: Female Genre: Fluff Universe: General AU Rating: G rating Length: Oneshot (2327 words) Warnings: None

Notes: happy birthday @ichigoyuuki. when you read this i will have written it MONTHS ago.

Summary: Lunch with your crush and best friend on your birthday? It sounds nice and all until you remember that Seungkwan is evil. Well, evil may be giving him too much credit. He was trying to make your day nice.

When you wake up, your clock reads 7am and your phone is lighting up with messages. For a second, you consider not checking them and rolling back over to let sleep retake you, but you decide against it and sit up. When you pick it up, you’re first greeted with the date- your birthday, you smile- then with the names of who’s been messaging you. As well as the messages themselves.

Though you have one from a few people- all ‘happy birthday’s as expected- most are from your best friend, Seungkwan. On the days leading up to today, you’ve become convinced he’s more excited than you are. You’re pretty sure he’s planning something he wont tell you about- despite you begging for no surprises- but you can’t actually prove it. You save replying to him for last, first thanking everyone else for their well wishes, and sitting up in your bed.

Then you look at Seungkwan’s messages. Starting from 6:58am, he’s sent you 14.

SK: happy brithday my dear best friend~ SK: you’re the best and i love you SK: and i know you didn’t want any surprises SK; so heres a warning! SK: We’re going to have lunch together! SK: with Jihoon too SK: Okay? SK: Hey! you’re up right? SK: maybe not? SK: hey i know it sounds like i was plotting but it wasn’t my idea SK: the lunch, i mean. It was Jihoons SK: So don’t be mad at me? O~O please SK: <3 SK: wait, maybe you are asleep

You can’t help but laugh, shaking your head. Part of you does want to be annoyed at the last minute warning, but it was hard to be mad at him since he gave you warning at all. That, and he added a 15th message, a picture of himself pouting, as well as another ‘don’t be mad at me.’

You: I’m not mad You: Maybe a little? You: thank you for the warning You: and birthday wishes You: when’s lunch?

SK: 3!

You: Okay, see you then.

SK: you’re really not mad?

You: no

Sighing, you decided to get up and get ready for the day. Once you’re dressed and fed it’s 8am, and you realize you need to fill the time until lunch. You’d celebrated with your family early, being that you were expecting to end up spending time with your friends today, anyway, even though the actual event hadn’t been what you anticipated.

Another message pops up on your phone, and you almost expect it to be Seungkwan again, but to your surprise it’s not. It’s Jihoon. While you’re busy being surprised, he adds to the number of messages, before you finally read them so you can respond.

WZ: Happy Birthday, ___. WZ: Seungkwan said he already told you about lunch? WZ: the original plan was to invite more people, for the record. You can blame it being down to just him and us on him. he insisted. WZ: I don’t know why. but he’s your best friend, so i figured you’d prefer it this way, if he was insisting. So, see you then? WZ: happy birthday WZ: again. WZ: i didn’t realize I’d said that first.

There’s a pause that follows, where he doesn’t send anything else and you try to find responses to what he’s said. Talking to Jihoon was never your strong suit, even if text messages were easier. It shouldn’t be that hard, either way, you tell yourself. Yet, talking to your crush was never so easy. Pushing that thought away, you form a response.

You: Thank you! You: Well, i’m not a huge fan of crowds? You: or large groups? he probably was thinking about that heh.

More like trying to give you more chances to talk to Jihoon. You can’t say that, of course, but it wasn’t that hard to figure out knowing Seungkwan and how much he knew.

You: anyway, yeah, see you then

Feeling like that’s enough of a response, you set your phone aside. Then, after a moment, you pick it back up and pull up Seungkwan’s contact.

You: you’re mean You: apparently, you recommended it just be us three You: why

SK: because i love you? SK: It’s your chance!

You: to suffer?

SK: No, __ :)

You: :(

Seungkwan doesn’t respond. You frown, setting your phone aside- for real this time, and going to find something to occupy your time.

Being your best friend and the person who arranged the whole thing- even if it wasn’t technically his idea- Seungkwan comes to pick you up just before 3pm, to take you to lunch. Though, ‘pick you up’ is a bit too generous. He can’t drive, and you don’t have a car, so instead he walks you to the place you’re getting lunch.

“It’s not far,” Seungkwan assures you. True to that, it isn’t more than a few blocks away that Seungkwan stops in front of a restaurant, and opens the door for you. You laugh at the mock-bow he gives when you walk in, and he grins. The place is by no means fancy, which you’re thankful for, but it is rather nice. Soft colours and a warm atmosphere.

Before you can ask where you’re supposed to sit, or anything really, Seungkwan is pulling you to one side of the restaurant, where you can see Jihoon sitting. When he notices the two of you, Jihoon raises a hand in greeting.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” You say, quieter than you intend, and are glad when Seungkwan gives a louder greeting. Being a booth, someone has to sit on near the wall. You’re not a big fan of the idea, considering your company, but Seungkwan pushes you to sit down before you can argue. He slides into the spot next to you, and you suddenly feel trapped.

He’s doing this on purpose, you think. You try to glare at Seungkwan, though it goes unnoticed by him, before turning to face Jihoon, who sits across from you. Jihoon seems to have notice your glaring, at least, because he raises an eyebrow and motions to Seungkwan with a tilt of his head. You shake yours, not up to answering the silent question.

You couldn’t very well say “he’s trapping me so I can’t escape’ when that would bring the question of what you were escaping from. Saying you were escaping from Jihoon to his face wouldn’t sound very good, without knowing about your feelings.

You feel a bit better once there’s food in front of you, since it offers a reasonable distraction. You feel less better when Seungkwan’s phone goes off and he excuses himself, leaving you alone with Jihoon. Though you can’t call the silence between you totally awkward, you- at least- can’t call it comfortable either. Jihoon isn’t usually the one to initiate conversations, outside of certain circumstance, and you were still nervous around him, meaning you weren’t sure how to start one either.

“So,” Jihoon starts, drawing your attention, “how’s your birthday been?”

“Um, boring? No I mean, it’s good, I got lot’s of birthday wishes, but so far I’ve just sat at home and watched movies.”

“Is that bad?”

“No, It’s fine, just not anything worth calling exciting.”

“That’s good, at least.” Jihoon nods. Then, he makes a confused expression at something behind you, when you turn, you can see Seungkwan waving, before he turns and is out the door. You open your mouth, ready to say something, anything, but can’t really think of anything. Seungkwan passes the window next to your booth and mouths an apology, before running away.

“What a-” You stop yourself, because you’re close to saying something you don’t mean. You love Seungkwan, he’s your best friend, but he was sort of awful, you decided. How could he just leave you, alone, with Jihoon.

“I guess it was something important?” Jihoon offers, trying to make you feel better presumably. You’d like to believe that, but you know Seungkwan. Instead of arguing as much, you just nod.

“I guess so.”

“Should we cancel the rest, then?”

“The rest of what?” You look up, finally meeting Jihoon’s eyes for the first time since you’d gotten here.

“Your birthday? Seungkwan said he told you the plans, I figured he meant all of them.”

“I... wasn’t this lunch it?”

“No.”

“Oh.” You make an expression to mirror the word, and Jihoon offers you a smile in turn.

“I wonder why he didn’t tell you the rest?” Jihoon hums, pulling out his phone and after a moment of doing something, shows you his messages.

SK: she probably doesn’t have anything else planned SK: so lunch isn’t enough!

WZ: Okay?

SK: oh i know! SK: Movies~ SK: and ice cream! SK: Ice cream is important

WZ: sure it is.

SK: lunch, then movie, then ice cream SK: perfect da y

WZ: Da Y

SK: Day! don’t mock me

WZ: sure, why that order?

SK: most effective

WZ: effective how?

SK: Happiness! Trust me, i know my best friend

You try not to frown at the messages. Now you were sure, Seungkwan had planned this from the beginning. He was sending you on a date without you or Jihoon knowing that was what it was. Jihoon puts his phone away, looking at you in silent question. Right, you remind yourself, he had asked if you were canceling the rest of the day. Part of you want’s to say yes, and just go home.

But movies and ice cream did sound nice. Though Jihoon’s presence was both a gift and a chance to ruin your day, you decided to take it as the positive Seungkwan meant for it to be.

“I mean, I don’t have anything else to do today...”

“Neither do I,” Jihoon says, nodding.

“So... why not?”

“Okay.”

Movies are easier to handle. You don’t actively have to look at Jihoon, and if you do he hardly notices, you have a distraction, and it’s dark enough that you feel like you can hide if you somehow manage to embarrass yourself. You like movies. It helps that the movie you choose is actually really entertaining, you find yourself able to forget you’re here with Jihoon and not just by yourself or with one of your friends who don’t make you nervous.

And there’s popcorn.

Once the movie is over, though, you’re reminded you are, in fact, with Jihoon. He doesn’t ask what you thought of the movie, you’re sure the smile you wear leaving the theater answers that question anyway. Instead, he just smiles and walks by your side as you leave. It’s once you’re outside of the theater, that you remember the next part of the day.

It’s a bit darker out, though not near evening yet, and you almost aren’t sure if ice cream is a good idea. Still, it’s not cool enough out to stop you, so when Jihoon asks if you’re still up for it, you nod.

You’re following Jihoon, just a half-step behind so you’re still close enough to see his face, when your phone goes off. You stop- and Jihoon stops a second later- pulling it out to check who it is. Seungkwan’s name pops up, along with the first few words of his texts. You pull open your messages, sending Jihoon an apologetic look for having stopped suddenly, and read them.

SK: how’s the date? SK: :) SK: you didn’t leave right? SK: I planned this just for you!

You frown, turning off your phone screen without replying. If he’s going to do this without warning, you can ignore him until you go home. Jihoon raises an eyebrow in question, when you put your phone away.

“Seungkwan, apologizing for leaving.” You lie, because you’re certainly not going to say what Seungkwan actually wanted. Jihoon accepts the answer, anyway, and you go back to walking.

Ice cream proves to be a good decision, and a nice way to end your not-date with Jihoon. You manage conversation, even, and you feel probably the most relaxed around him you ever have.

“Thank you, by the way,” You says, once ice cream is gone and you realize you should probably go home. You don’t want to walk home in the dark, by yourself, that’s for sure. So you decided you should head home before then.

“For what?”

“All of today? Seungkwan said the lunch was your idea, at least, and you didn’t have to stay when he left.”

“It’s your birthday,” Jihoon shrugs, “I wasn’t going to leave you by yourself.”

“Well, still, thank you.”

“No problem.”

“So I should... head home. Since we’ve done everything and it’s almost dark, you know?”

“___, you,” Jihoon frowns and titls his head, “are going to walk home, by yourself?”

“Yes?”

There’s a pause. “I’ll walk you.”

“What?” You blink, once, twice, then shake your head. “It’s okay!”

“I want to.”

“Oh... okay.”

So you let Jihoon walk you home. You avoid looking at him, despite being right beside him, and focus on your footsteps. It really had turned into a pseudo-date, you realized. You’re not sure if you should be thankful or not.

Once in front of your home, there’s a pause, before you smile. “Thank you again.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Jihoon pauses, then opens his arm. “Want a hug?”

You try not to laugh, because for once he’s being the awkward one and something about that is rather nice, before you nod. It’s a short hug, because you know he isn’t huge on the things, and because you don’t want to give yourself a chance to reclaim the awkward title.

“Goodnight, Jihoon.”

“Goodnight, and happy birthday again.”

“Thank you.” You wave, before heading inside. Once you’re alone, you allow yourself to sigh in relief and smile. It was a good day, you think.

You: thank you, seungkwan You: i had a nice day You: don’t ever do this to me again

SK: <3 SK: what are best friends for?

You decided to be thankful, this time.

#woozi scenarios #fem reader #fluff #oneshot #completed #general au #G rating #marylynnwrites

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 5 years

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A Bad Person

Gavin wasn’t a bad person, in the past. That’s not to say he was a good person, but he wasn’t a bad person. Normal, maybe, for the time. For the place. Lived as an okay- a fine- person.

Gavin Free: completely neutral person.

Gavin thinks, maybe, it would hurt. To realize you’re a bad person, when you thought you were a good person. Like falling off a building.

Hitting the ground and feeling yourself break.

He didn’t make the fall from good to bad. He did make the fall from roof to ground. An accident. Something no one saw. (Something no one would notice.) No one would know about it, until morning, when they found his body.

They never found his body.

Gavin dies at 26. In 1970. As an okay, normal, person.

Gavin dies at 26, only to wake up a kilometer away with a headache, but no injuries.

No heartbeat, either.

Gavin learns how to avoid answering questions at 26, in 1984. (Learns to lie, fluently. Even good people lie, so it’s not surprising an okay person learns to easily.) When the fact that he hasn’t aged in years becomes obvious. Says he’s just one of those people, who always look the same. Says, “what else would it be?” Because what else would it be?

Gavin wasn’t a bad enough person to be cursed, or a good enough person to be blessed.

Gavin was an okay person, living an okay life, and the fact he couldn’t die wasn’t something he thought reflected on him, so he doesn’t address it.

Eventually Gavin moves. Heads to America, and ends up in Liberty City.

Gavin is a bad person. Becomes a bad person at 26, in 1994, in Liberty City.

But that doesn’t happen right away. He can still say he’s an okay person, in 1993, when he kills someone, for the first time. They deserved it, really. Had shot him. So Gavin doesn’t really think that it reflects on him, that he retaliated.

He died from his bullet wound twenty minutes after he stabbed a man to death.

So, then, Gavin is 26, and it’s 1994, and he meets Geoff. Geoff, who’s running out of a store he’d just robbed, laughing and unconcerned with the cops following him- shooting at him- until he runs right into Gavin. Gavin, who jumps, but must not react normally, because Geoff laughs, again.

“Hey, kid, aren’t you worried you’ll get shot, standin’ there?”

And he’s not. Gavin is used to lying, to pretending. (Maybe he reached something less than okay a long time ago, but Gavin had to.) Gavin couldn’t tell anyone the truth, before then.

Who would believe him? Normal, stupid, unimportant Gavin? Immortal?

It’s easier to lie.

“I can’t die,” Gavin says. An admission he’s never given before. Geoff laughs at him, grabs him, and they run.

Geoff is nearly a century older than Gavin. Has died more times than he can count. (Gavin counts his own deaths. He’s up to 14.)

“So you decided to become a criminal?” Gavin eyes the other, frowning.

“I didn’t just decide to.”

Geoff must have been a good person, once, because he looks away. Looks guilty, for a moment, and then sighs, and it’s gone. Explains how hard it had become to care about anything around him.

It’s all temporary, but he isn’t.

Gavin wasn’t a bad person. But he wasn’t a good one, either. The fall from okay to bad is like falling off your chair. Scary, for a second, but it barely hurts. He barely notices it.

Gavin doesn’t participate, at first. Not directly. He talks to people. (He lies to people.) Let’s them think he’s plain, stupid, normal Gavin Free, who isn’t a threat. Twists conversations to his favour without anyone realizing it.

It isn’t until they- him, Geoff, Jack- move on to Los Santos that he even participates in a heist. Isn’t until there, with their newest recruits- at the time, Michael and Ray- that he kills people who didn’t deserve it. And for a while- for a few months- that hurts.

But Gavin wasn’t a good person, so he gets over it.

“How old are you, now, Gav?” Geoff asks, one day, in 2018. Gavin shrugs.

“Twenty six.”

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“Oh? Was it not?” Gavin looks away. “I don’t remember.”

“Mhm. Sure.”

Gavin died, once. (27 times, actually.) Fell off a roof, crashing into the ground with a sound that to this day makes him sick to think about. He wasn’t a bad person, then. Pretty normal. If he had stayed dead, then, he probably would have been unremarkable.

Unremembered, certainly, by now.

Gavin dies for the 28th time during a heist, when their- he and Jack’s- helicopter is shot down. It’s 2019, and he clings to Jack as they crash, knowing what’s coming. For some reason, he’s laughing as it happens.

The news reports that the Fake’s helicopter went down, but they have yet to find the bodies. In a few months, during their next heist, people will wonder in awe and horror how the Fake’s all survived the last heist. How they survive all of them.

These bad, terrible people that get away with so much, and somehow haven’t died.

If Gavin had died, then, the world would know him as a bad person.

Gavin wasn’t a bad person, in the past. He wasn’t a good person, either, but he wasn’t a bad person. Normal, maybe. For the time. For now, even. For the place. For here, even. Lived as an okay person.

Gavin is a bad person, probably. He’s certainly not a good person, and immortality isn’t an excuse for immorality, probably. Is known to the world as a member of the Fake AH Crew. As their golden boy.

Gavin Free: a completely awful person.

Gavin thinks, maybe, it would have hurt. To realize he was a bad person, if he had thought he was a good person. Like falling off a building. Like hitting the ground and feeling himself break. (Again.)

He didn’t make the fall from good to bad. Didn’t lay there waiting for someone to figure out what to do with the remains of a broken, formerly good person.

Instead he lays on the floor, fallen from okay to good, and picks himself up. Nobody has to find his body, he isn’t dead.

He’s fine, really.

Gavin Free, awful person, immortal, Fake.

He was only okay, before, so it isn’t worth thinking about, really.

He’s not upset about it. (Gavin is used to lying, to pretending.) He’d reached something less than okay a long time ago, so it’s not worth thinking about now. (He had to lie, before. Couldn’t tell the truth, because who would believe him?)

Gavin is a bad person.

(And if he says he was an okay person before, to pretend the fall didn’t kill him, he’s a good enough liar that no one notices.)

#fake ah crew #immortal fake ah crew #completed #marylynnwrites

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 5 years

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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: EXO (Band) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Characters: Kim Jongin | Kai, Oh Sehun, Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Park Chanyeol, Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao, Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Kim Jongdae | Chen, Byun Baekhyun, Do Kyungsoo | D.O Additional Tags: Luhan and Kris are in the story in flashbacks, MAMA Era Powers (EXO), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Relationships MIGHT be added later (undecided), Friendship Series: Part 2 of A MAMA powers AU thing Summary:

Their memories were stolen. Their friends were stolen from them. When their memories start to return, it's only natural to find each other. To want to remember the rest. To want to fight back, against the force that stole their lives from them.

(Note: This story 100% can stand alone, and reading the other story in this series is NOT NEEDED. They share a universe, but that's it.)

This is a rewrite (and continuation) of the discontinued story of the same title I wrote.

#all of exo #ongoing #chaptered #marylynnwrites

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 5 years

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Raining Season

Raining Season by iamashamedofmyfanfics

Pairing: Suga/Jimin, Past Suga/J Hope Genre: Romance, Friendship Universe: AU where harsh words cause physical scars Rating: PG13 Warnings: Swearing, mentions of verbal abuse (both purposeful and unintentional). Length: Oneshot (6894 words)

Notes: Part of the Skin Deep Reality AU but this AU is a collection of oneshots so there’s literally 0 need to read the others. It took me like a year to write this rip.

[ao3 version] (do links still block posts from tags? if so rip me)

Summary: Just as he takes a step, he kicks something, and looks down to find a dark, red umbrella sitting next to his door. It’s almost certainly Jimin’s. There’s a note tied to it. “I got a new one and Hoseok said you didn’t have one, so you can have this if you want? Don’t get sick!”

It’s raining when Yoongi leaves the convenience store. The warmth of his coffee does nothing to ease the cold of the rain, as he steps outside. Briefly he wonders if he should just run back to his apartment from here, but he really doesn’t have time to get sick. Yoongi pulls his jacket tighter around him, and glances back inside. The cashier- a young woman with the unfortunate luck to have the word disappointing carved across her cheek- gives him a sympathetic, if nervous, smile. In return, he offers a halfhearted smile, and turns back to the sidewalk, watching the rain for a moment. With a sigh, he resigns himself to running, and pulls his hood up in the hopes it will provide extra protection.

“Yoongi?” The voice- familiar and quiet- stops him. To his left stands Park Jimin, who goes to the college just a few blocks south of where Yoongi- during his days- works. As well as who shares a mutual friend- one Jung Hoseok- with Yoongi.

“Oh, hey.” Yoongi glances, briefly, at the umbrella the other holds, before looking back to Jimin’s face.

“It’s raining.”

“I noticed.”

“We’re you planing to run in it?”

“Yep.”

“Would you… like to walk with me?” Jimin’s question confuses Yoongi for just a moment, before he remembers that they also live in the same apartment building. Yoongi pauses, considering this, then nods.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, give me a second? I was supposed to buy some stuff before getting home.” With that, Jimin shoves the umbrella into Yoongi’s hands, and rushes inside. For a moment, Yoongi thinks about how easy it would be to just go on his own, since he has the umbrella, before pushing that thought aside. That would be more than mean, and he can stand to wait a few minutes.

When Jimin returns, he’s holding a bag filled with at least six cold coffee bottles, and is holding a slushee. Yoongi raises an eyebrow at this, but Jimin shrugs, sipping it.

“Roommate.”

“Ah.”

They head back, together, and separate when they reach the building.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. See you later!”

There are very few people who are willing to risk themselves, in exchange for fame. In a world where one word said with enough venom, or one phrase that hurts you enough, can etch itself over your skin permanently, it’s a big risk. There are people who become famous, only to have someone who claims to be their fans scream something hurtful at them just to know that their words are scars on that persons skin. There are people who want to ruin them, and do the same. There are those who believe their comments will never reach them, but that somehow get back through one of dozens of sites. There are those who try to ruin someone before they reach fame, and those who throw insults at each other to entertain people.

It’s cruel, and it’s not everyone, but it’s a large enough threat that many fear trying. Those who do either being confident enough not to get hurt, or are able to hide their scars easily. Or, in some rare cases, those who don’t try to hide them, despite any criticism.

Someone who makes music without showing his face, and who preforms only in small venues populated by people with the same wants- dreams, goals, careers- as him, Min Yoongi both does and doesn’t want to rise into that. Fears it, because of the words already there, yet desperately holds onto a dream that a young him had, before the cruelty of the world was revealed to him.

For now, no matter what he wants, he keeps doing what he has been, and working to make up for what his dreams can’t do.

It’s still raining early the next day, when he wakes. He doesn’t work, today, if only because his boss got tired of seeing him every day for the past month. Yoongi takes this chance to listen back to the newest track he’s created. The mixing he “finished” the day before, while he may have been far too tired to properly judge it, needs some work, so he resigns himself to that task, for the morning.

By afternoon he’s sure he’s listened to his own voice far too much, and that he can no longer be trusted to be the judge of it.

So he sends the most current version of it to two of his friends- who he trusts to give honest thoughts- and leaves deciding he should probably eat.

It could be quite a while before he hears back from them; Namjoon and Hoseok. Namjoon is in a different timezone, and is halfway to finishing a manuscript he’s been invested in for the past few months. Meanwhile Hoseok is knee deep in internships and, between that, his personal ventures into the career he actually wants.

To his surprise, Yoongi receives an email from Hoseok only four hours later, while he’s taken to writing down whatever comes into his mind; writing thoughts for future reference. So he sits up, and grabs his computer, reading the email.

Two years ago, Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok weren’t friends. A month before that, they were dating.

Yoongi knows he’s responsible for at least one of Hoseok’s scars, and he can’t do anything about that fact. Neither of them can, or could have. It was something that had to be said, that they both knew was going to be, eventually. An inevitability that they couldn’t avoid. One of them would be hurt.

“It’s okay.” Hoseok had taken Yoongi’s hands, and smiled, despite the clear fear there. Yoongi hesitated, frowned, refused to say what he knew would hurt Hoseok. What he knew would carve a fresh scar into his skin. It’s surprising, to hear Hoseok talk gravely, but he speaks with a finality that Yoongi can’t manage. “I already know, but neither of us will feel better leaving it unsaid.”

“I don’t- I’m not in love with you.”

“I know.”

Hoseok left, that day. The only evidence that Yoongi was right, that the words scared, is his slight wince when Yoongi said it. Yet, he doesn’t say anything hurtful back. Doesn’t try to pay Yoongi back for them. Is clear enough in what was happening, to know that Yoongi tried to make the words untrue. Tried to feel what he knew Hoseok did. But it hadn’t worked. In the end he didn’t, and it wasn’t doing either of them any good.

So Hoseok leaves with the words, “not in love with you,” and Yoongi finds the words, “I know,” trailing over his stomach the next time he looks.

Two years ago, Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok weren’t friends. Four months after that, after everything is over, Yoongi finds Hoseok sitting outside a convince store, leaned over a warming bowl of noodles. Yoongi stares, and meets Hoseok’s gaze when he looks up. Hoseok offers a smile, surprisingly warm, and Yoongi finds himself dropping down next to the other.

When it was over, when Yoongi was far away from Hoseok’s feelings for him, he had time to process. Time the realize that, “not in love,” wasn’t always the case. That, once, at the beginning and middle, he had been in love with Hoseok, he thinks. That despite losing that, there had been a time where it was true.

“You know, I think…” Yoongi gazes at the table, frowning. “Even if I didn’t, at the end, I think at one point- I think I loved you.”

“Yeah.” Hoseok nods, turns his gaze away. “I loved you, too.”

Two years ago, Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok weren’t friends. One year ago, Hoseok sent Yoongi a picture of a dog, after barely speaking for months, and Yoongi thought, maybe they’d be okay.

Today, Yoongi and Hoseok are friends. Hoseok sends Yoongi an email, telling him that he liked the song, but that he’s not an expert on music production. Something felt a bit off, but he isn’t sure what, and tells Yoongi that Namjoon will probably have a better insight into that. Otherwise, he really liked the song, and says he, “wasn’t prepared to cry, so thanks,” at the end of his email. Yoongi replies, thanking him.

Hoseok responds with a small dismissal of this thanks, saying it wasn’t a big deal, and then a P.S. That says,“you should buy an umbrella.”

The next day, Yoongi gets ready for work while thinking that Hoseok is right. The rain has yet to let up, and he breathes a sigh before he sets out for work. One more glance is sent at his window, before he closes his door and stuffs his keys into his pockets. Just as he takes a step, he kicks something, and looks down to find a dark, red umbrella sitting next to his door. It’s almost certainly Jimin’s, and he picks it up with a frown on his face.

There’s a note tied to it. “I got a new one and Hoseok said you didn’t have one, so you can have this if you want? Don’t get sick!”

The day after, he finally gets a reply from Namjoon that simply tells him the song is good, but Yoongi’s voice is too low in the mix. Yoongi spends the night making adjustments with that, until he thinks it’s perfect, and then adds the song onto a blank video with the song title before posting it. He wont- despite always wanting to- check the comments. He knows better, and that’s why he has mods. To make sure that by the time he does look at the comments, they’re less likely to be filled with possibly scar-worthy words. Leaves genuine criticism, opinions- because he has to deal with those eventually- but they get rid of anything blatantly hateful.

Then he finds the clock reading approximately ass o’ clock in the morning- 4am- and knowing he has to work two hours later. With a sigh, he drags himself to bed- any rest is better than none- and sets an alarm. When he wakes, the next day, the rain has finally let up. When he goes to leave, he takes a moment of consideration, before grabbing the umbrella from where he left it beside the door, and taking it with him, just in case.

That Sunday, two things happen. Yoongi decides enough time has passed for his mods to make it safe for him to look at his comments, and he get’s a text from Namjoon. He deals with the former, first, since he expects Namjoon will have texted him, and then gone to do something else right away, anyway.

This is so sad?

i wanna kno who this is about

ugh ‘I think I loved you’ how dare you do this to me

This makes me miss someone ive never even met ha

His voice !!!

Yoongi scrolls through the comments, the video playing the song they’re about, until he has a good idea of the general consensus. Which is, in short, that it was sad and that they liked it.

With that- for now- out of the way, Yoongi checks Namjoon’s message. It’s a picture, actually, and Yoongi isn’t sure what he’s looking at, at first. It’s a tattooed arm, that much is obvious, but he isn’t sure why Namjoon would send it to him. The bird is pretty, but it takes him a minute to realize that it’s Namjoon’s arm. The one that is scarred with the word, fake. But that word is nearly unnoticeable, under the detailed tattoo.

“When’d you do that?”

“Mostly last month but it was finished a few days ago.”

When Yoongi is sixteen, he meets this kid named Namjoon in passing. The latter was visiting family in the town Yoongi lived in, and they met outside a CD shop. Yoongi was going to apply for some part time work, while Namjoon was just looking at the selection. This kind of meeting would be something they would both forget, something they would never think about.

When Yoongi is twenty, he meets this guy named Namjoon in passing. Yoongi is working at this store, and Namjoon is buying an album. They somehow get to talking, and eventually end up exchanging information, even though that’s unusual considering Yoongi is working. Later, months later, they talk about hometowns and spiral into a conversation that reveals their having met in passing before.

When Yoongi is twenty, he makes friends with Namjoon, and this leads, eventually, to a discussion about scars. It’s hard to miss, especially when Namjoon has never made a huge effort to hide it, but Namjoon has the word fake scrawled over this right arm. Yoongi makes a bigger effort to hide his, but it’s still not hard to notice. Yoongi has the word fucker scrawled across his left forearm. They take a weird solace in knowing these scars are both the result of broken friendships. In the fact that they aren’t alone in this.

Yoongi looks down at his own arm, and wonders if he should do something similar. But, no, he doesn’t want to. As terrible as it is, he can’t bring himself to hide it, not from himself at least.

“It’s nice. Planning more?”

“Eventually.”

It’s a Thursday evening, raining yet again, when Yoongi begins his journey home under the cover of the umbrella given to him by Jimin. It’s a Thursday evening, and Jimin runs past him- likely returning from university- bag held over his head.

“Jimin!” Jimin stumbles at that, spins around frantic, and stops. Then, after a brief pause, rushes over to Yoongi, hiding under the cover of the umbrella that was once his.

“Hey.”

“I though you had a new one.”

“I forgot it.” Jimin huffs, pushing his wet hair out of his face.

“Well, you in a rush?”

“Not really, now that I’m out of the rain.” Jimin grins, and Yoongi just nods. They make their way back together again, idle conversation breaking up their relative silence, and separate once back to their apartments, again.

The next morning, Yoongi checks the weather to see it’s probably going to rain, again. He isn’t sure why he’s doing it, really, but he tapes a note to Jimin’s- and his roommate’s, technically- apartment door frame- so he can’t miss it- that reminds Jimin to take an umbrella.

Later, that night, when Yoongi returns home after working overtime, he finds a thank you in the form of a note slid under his door.

There are a number of people, in the world, who’s scars will never be visible. Who hide them under clothes or makeup- or who don’t have to make much of an effort to hide them- so nobody will ever know. Yoongi doesn’t have to make much of an effort to hide his, a lot of the time. They’re all in easily covered places. His arms, sometimes, are a problem when it’s too warm, but otherwise he doesn’t have much trouble. Sometimes he wonders about strangers. If they’re like him, or if they just don’t have a lot, or, or, or.

Yoongi has never so much caught a glimpse of Jimin’s scars. It’s not as if he’s been looking for them, specifically, but… he wonders. If the man who gave him an umbrella, and has always seemed generally nice, and who’s friends with Hoseok- which basically guarantees someone isn’t awful- could possibly have that many scars. If many people could have said things worth scarring, to him.

If he would be hurt by the words, in the first place.

Yoongi admittedly doesn’t have that many scars. No more than fifteen, if he counts the long faded ones that are barely visible from his childhood. The ones that remain, visible and obvious and red, are more recent. Sometimes, when someone looks at him for a second too long, he worries. Worries that they’re wondering, too, or maybe that they know. It’s not rational, he knows that, but he can’t help but wonder.

What would actually happen, if someone saw them? Logically he knows the answer is nothing, but…

Yoongi runs into Jimin, as he’s on his way up to his apartment, and Jimin is leaving, and he wonders. Wonders about Jimin’s scars, wonders if the other wonders about his.

“Oh, hey, Yoongi.”

“Hey.”

“Thanks again for the reminder about the umbrella, it rained again on my way home.”

“No problem.”

But their conversations are so normal. Scars are never addressed.

So maybe it’s just Yoongi that wonders.

The long-running streak of rain finally comes to an end, on a Tuesday morning. Yoongi works in a small coffee shop just off of the nearby college campus. Technically Yoongi was a student there not long ago, but left because it felt like a waste. When he was working towards something he didn’t even want to do. His family hadn’t been happy, the word disappointing on his chest evidence of this.

Someone stumbles into the shop, seemingly losing to the weight of their bag, before looking up at Yoongi and- oh. It’s Jimin, he realizes when he sees the other’s face. Jimin is shortly followed by another of Yoongi’s neighbors- and Jimin’s roommate- Taehyung. While the later laughs at Jimin’s stumbling, and makes his way to one of the many table, Jimin shoots him a glare and approaches the counter. Yoongi offers a smile, as he’s supposed to.

“Hey, Yoongi, I forgot you worked here.”

“Yep. What do you want?”

Jimin recites his- and presumably Taehyung’s- order, motioning with his hands. Yoongi never realized before, but Jimin’s wrists have always been converted in some way. It never occurred to him why, until he notices the small, red, scar on his right arm. Pathetic. Yoongi forces himself to focus on Jimin’s order, rather than the word, and then recites it back, to be sure it’s right.

“That’s all?”

“Yep!”

Yoongi charges the other, and gives the order to another of the shops workers to get started on. When Jimin gets the drinks, and goes to sit with Taehyung, Yoongi feels bad.

Yoongi always wonders about others scars, but whenever he sees them, he feels bad. Feels like it’s an invasion of privacy that he can’t take back. Because these are words that hurt that person so badly they became physical wounds. Who was he to look at those, without permission?

The first time Yoongi had seen someone else’s scar- that wasn’t a family member- they belonged to Seokjin, his and Namjoon’s mutual friend. At the time, shortly before Yoongi dropped out of college, Seokjin had been his roommate, which made hiding their scars from each other nearly impossible. There wasn’t enough space or privacy. Yoongi was nineteen at the time- hadn’t met Namjoon or Hoseok, yet- and had felt sick to his stomach when he realized what he’d done.

But Seokjin hadn’t seemed bothered. Said, simply, that he didn’t care. That the words didn’t mean anything, because now that they were on his skin, what else could they do to him?

Yoongi didn’t get it. His own scars hurt to look at, still. Filled his chest with anxiety at the realization that someone else could do that to him, and he could do nothing to stop it.

Yoongi wonders, now, what Jimin feels about his scars. What they mean to him.

Because Yoongi knows what his own mean to him. And they’re awful. It’s awful. He hates, deeply, every one of them.

Or, maybe, he just hates himself for believing the insults. Or himself for letting the ones that weren’t, be said.

So, Yoongi and Jimin have this one conversation. Run into each other, again as they’re both on their way home, and have a short conversation that sticks in Yoongi’s mind.

“You ever worry that if someone knew your- uh- words, that they’d try to use them to hurt you more?”

“Huh?” Yoongi blinks, surprised, before nodding. “Yeah.”

“I lost my scar-covering band, and went through today, and nothing happened.” Jimin frowns. “So why am I still worried?”

“Just because nothing’s gone wrong- or even if you know nothing will- doesn’t mean you’re gonna stop worrying.”

“Sucks, though.”

“Yeah.”

It sticks with Yoongi, for two reasons. One is that Jimin has the same worries as him. Somehow that makes things easier. Makes him feel better. Because it isn’t just him. The second is his own words. He isn’t sure where they came from, in his mind, but he spoke without really thinking about it.

Just because you know you shouldn’t, doesn’t mean you wont worry.

And just because you know they shouldn’t matter, doesn’t mean your scars will stop hurting.

Two weeks later, Jimin and Yoongi meet in that convenience store. The cashier looks unhappy, when the two start talking- likely too used to groups of people being noisy and inconsiderate of her time- but Yoongi tries to ignore that. He knows they aren’t going to cause her problems.

“Hey can I ask you for something?” Jimin asks, tilting his head to Yoongi.

“Depends?”

“I need music recommendations. For- uh- dance routines? Hoseok’s gonna be back in town, this summer, and we wanna do something together, but haven’t figured out what song to use.”

“Oh, sure. I can send some recommendations to him, if you want?”

“You could just give them to me?” Jimin frowns at him. “Oh, wait, you don’t have my number, huh?”

“No?”

“Okay, give me your phone then.”

Yoongi and Jimin talk more. It’s a slow thing, that happens. One day, they barely knew each other, and the next they were talking almost every day. In passing, mostly, with the rain gone, but talking none the less. Within a year, the two have become friends.

And the rain is back.

Yoongi is on his way back from work, as the rain pours down. It’s windy, too, and his umbrella is struggling. Still, it holds up. Then, he hears Jimin’s voice.

“Yoongi, hold up!” The other runs to him, before Yoongi can fully turn to face him. Jimin forces his way under Yoongi’s umbrella, gasping for breath after running.

“Did you somehow forget your umbrella, again?” Yoongi jokes, only for Jimin to raise the remains of his umbrella in front of them.

“Nope. It just turned out the new one was garbage.”

“New,” Yoongi repeats the word. “It’s been a year.”

“And I barely used it!”

“Fair enough.” Yoongi shrugs. “So you want to walk together, I take it?”

“Yep, that okay?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks!” Jimin’s grin is startlingly warm. Yoongi’s chest hurts, and he isn’t sure if it’s because of Jimin, himself, or because he reminds Yoongi of something else. Of the kind of smile he was scared of getting rid of, once.

Three years ago, Yoongi and Hoseok weren’t friends. Two years ago, they became friends again. Yoongi hesitates, after everything, to ask Hoseok of all people, but he does. Sends Hoseok a short message, to ask a simple question.

How did you know you were in love?

It’s not as if Yoongi thinks he is, suddenly. As if a friendship of idle conversations has caused that. But he doesn’t remember what he felt, back when he loved Hoseok. Doesn’t remember what it felt like, before he fell out of love. His memory is clouded with anger at himself for hurting someone, even if they both knew he had no choice.

I couldn’t really tell you, sorry. Hoseok’s response doesn’t help Yoongi any.

“You know,” Jimin starts, one day. They sit just outside their apartment building, during a break in the rain. There’s a bus, that comes in a few minutes, that Jimin has to catch, and Yoongi just doesn’t have anything to do at the moment. “Sometimes I wonder what I would have done, if I was born- like- seventy years earlier.”

“Why then?”

“That was before the whole words-causing-scars things started, you know? My grandma was born just a few months before it started, and has none.”

“Oh.” Yoongi nods. He was sure he learned about that, in school, but it had never really registered to him. He was so used to how things were, that a society devoid of it seemed wrong, somehow. Was it better? Or was not being able to physically display the effects of ones words worse?

“Don’t you wonder?”

Yoongi has wondered about a lot of things, but that wasn’t one. “I guess not? I don’t know. I sure do, now that you’ve mentioned it.”

Jimin nods, frowning. “I wonder if it would have made me happier, or not.”

“I doubt the words would hurt less, just because you don’t have to look at them.” Yoongi never looks at most of his words. Some he couldn’t avoid, but he never looks in a mirror, to avoid words like I know. That didn’t stop them from hurting.

“Maybe not.”

So Yoongi doesn’t think he’s in love with Jimin. Not yet, at least, but the other takes more and more space up, in his life, over time. So, he does what he usually does when things take up too much of his life’s space. Writes about it. Writes about Jimin. It turns, too quickly, into a song.

He hesitates to send to to Hoseok, but knows the other will complain if he finds out Yoongi only sent it to Namjoon. When he hears back from both of them, he gets two very different responses. Namjoon’s, “it’s nice, different from your usual though,” is expected. As is Hoseoks, “somebody has a crush~” though he wishes it wasn’t.

What isn’t expected, is the response after he posts it. Not from most people, their responses are what he expects. But from Jimin. Who knocks on his door, mid afternoon on a Saturday, nearly bouncing where he stands when Yoongi opens the door.

“Jimin?”

“Your new song was really good!”

“Uh- oh. Thank you? You- wait- you heard it?!”

“Uh, yeah? Wait did you not know I listen to them? Hoseok told me about your music a long time ago. Why do you think I went to you for music recommendations?”

“Oh.” Oh, Yoongi thinks, that’s unfortunate.

“Anyway, I wanted to ask a favour about it!”

“What- uh- what’s that?”

“Let me make a routine to it.”

“Like… dance?”

“Yes?”

“You’re asking my permission?”

“Uh, yeah?” Jimin tilts his head, frowning. Unfortunately, it’s cute. “You’re not like a big, record-signed artist, so I’d feel weird not asking you about it. Especially if I film the routine and post it, you know?”

“Right, okay. Sure, have fun?” Yoongi really just wants this conversation to end, honestly. Really would prefer not to talk to Jimin about the song that also happened to be about Jimin. “You know you could have texted me to ask?”

“Oh, yeah, but I was on my way out anyway- oh shit, I have to go.” Realization forms on Jimin’s face, and he’s rushing off before Yoongi can properly respond. “I’ll see you later!”

So Yoongi’s face isn’t really out there, publicly. His profiles are all icons, or specifically edited pictures to hide his face. His main avatar is a picture of him, yes, but with his face hidden behind his left arm, and the word fucker censored, but visible. Multiple people have asked if it was real, but he’s never answered that question.

When Jimin asks Yoongi if he wants to post the video of Jimin’s routine on his account, too, Yoongi has a feeling someone is going to ask about that. He’s never put his own face on his videos, and nobody else’s either. So he hesitates to change that.

Eventually, though, he decides to do just that. Jimin’s face becomes the first, and only, one on his channel. He asks his mods to be extra strict about the comments, on it, because of that.

Unfortunately for Yoongi: with any harmful words eliminated the comments that remain are still thing’s Yoongi doesn’t find he likes to read. Though he agree’s with a lot of them, there’s an odd weight in his chest as he reads them. Questions- mostly jokes- about if Jimin is the person the song is about. Comments about Jimin himself- positive, if a bit too much in some cases- that Yoongi both agrees with and doesn’t want to read. A few comments of people who recognized Jimin, immediately, and fewer still that didn’t read the description- or the title card, for that matter- who ask if Jimin is Yoongi.

They aren’t bad. They shouldn’t bother him.

Yoongi messages a link to his version of the video to Jimin. Says, “I think my commentators like you more than me,” and tries to tell himself that’s all there is to it.

Jimin responds, “you should see the comments on my post of it,” and gives Yoongi a link to that. Which leads Yoongi to seeing more of the comments that bothered him on his own upload, as well as a few about his song, from people who hadn’t heard it already. And, more unfortunately, means Yoongi now has access to- knows of- Jimin’s own channel.

Which leads Yoongi to watching nearly every one of Jimin’s videos over the course of the next two days.

He’s not proud.

It’s a day of sun, in between their current season of rain, one Sunday when Yoongi has to work. The work day drags on, especially with the ever-present thought reminding him he needs to go shopping, today. Has gone far too many days without proper food in his house, for someone with a job, and who will have enough for his next rent payment, even after buying food.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity- the low number of customers leaving him bored more than stressed- Yoongi’s shift ends, and he makes his way to the store. Despite being- in name- a grocery store, Yoongi find a stand selling umbrellas, right near the cash registers. Ignores them- he has an umbrella, already- and returns to his shopping.

Then, as he gets everything he needs, he finds himself reaching for his phone. Sending a message that, generally, isn’t a big deal. “Did you ever replace your umbrella?”

“no i havent had the chance :(“

So Yoongi happens to pick up an umbrella, on his way to the register. Happens to buy it, and bring it home. And when he’s finished putting his groceries away, he picks up the new umbrella- it seems about as sturdy as his current one- and makes his way out of his apartment. Makes his way to the door of his neighbor apartment, and knocks for what he thinks might be the first time.

Jimin opens the door, looking as surprised by this as Yoongi feels with himself. Then, after a pause, Yoongi holds out the umbrella, not looking directly at Jimin. “I owed you, for mine.”

“Oh.” Jimin takes it, surprise evident in his voice. Probably on his face, too, were Yoongi to look. “Thank you.”

“Yeah.”

It’s raining when Yoongi leave the convenience store. The warmth from his coffee does nothing to ease the cold of the rain, as he steps outside. He fumbles to open his umbrella, clumsily, and looks back inside to see the cashier- a young woman cursed with the words disappointing and boring carved across her cheek- trying not to laugh at him. He looks away, hiding under the umbrella. The red of the umbrella is faded, slightly, but it still blocks the rain- and the remaining light of evening- from him just fine. Yoongi holds his coffee closer to his chest, and moves to start his walk home.

“Yoongi!” And he stops. Turns to see Jimin run to meet him, mint green shading him from his own umbrella.

“Oh, Jimin.” Yoongi’s tone remains neutral, despite the vague feeling of nostalgia in his mind. It’s not been nearly long enough to be feeling nostalgic. Only a year. It’s only been a year.

“It’s raining again.”

“I noticed.” Yoongi offers a smile, then looks away from Jimin, when the other returns it. “When is it not?”

“Summer?”

“You got me there.” Yoongi looks back, Jimin is still smiling, his heart twists. “Heading home?”

“After a quick stop.” Jimin motions into the store. “Would you… like to walk with me?”

“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi says, without thinking. Jimin grins, folds his umbrella, and rushes inside. It’s only a minute, before he’s rejoining Yoongi outside. He returns with a bag of bottled coffee.

“Roommate,” Jimin offers as explanation.

“Of course.”

They head back, together. Make their way upstairs, to their floor, together. Stop outside Yoongi’s door to say bye to each other.

Before Yoongi had met Jimin- before Yoongi had met Namjoon, or Seokjin, or Hoseok- Yoongi was gifted thirteen scars. Had yet to have I know or disappointing carved into his skin. What he did have was Nobody. Etched onto his chest is curved writing- handwriting- so much like the writing of the person who gave it to him. Seeing it, alone, Yoongi thinks people would misunderstand. Assume it meant- assume it hurt because of- something else.

“You’re such an asshole. Nobody is ever going to love you.” Given to him by the first person he’d ever thought he loved.

Yoongi doesn’t remember what they felt like. What being in love with them felt like. It was different, distinctly, from what he thinks he felt for Hoseok. But he doesn’t remember how he felt then, either. Knows he loved, but not what they felt like.

Nobody, from the person who would never love him. I know, from the person he couldn’t love back.

It’s too obvious, the title. Rainy Season. Too obvious, the words. If I was someone else, could you love me. Would you know I loved you.

It’s too obvious. Yoongi doesn’t publish it, though he gets as far as uploading the video. Stares at the make public button until his eyes hurt, and closes the window. It’s far too obvious. Jimin hadn’t realized, after the first song, but surely he couldn’t miss the obvious if he heard this one.

It’s too obvious, so he doesn’t post it. Doesn’t send it too Namjoon, and certainly not Hoseok.

“I wonder if it would have made me happier, or not.” Jimin had said. If not having scars from the words- or living in that world, where no one did- would have made him happier. They still would have hurt, but would it have changed something, not having them? Not knowing they were there, carved into his skin.

Yoongi had said they’d probably still hurt, even if they weren’t scars. He doesn’t look at his, after all, but they still hurt. Knowing they’re there, still hurts, but maybe they’d hurt less if they weren’t there at all. Yoongi somehow doubts it.

“Are any of your words still…fresh?” Yoongi asks, one day. They’re walking back, again, together. He doesn’t know how else to phrase it. The scars fade, the less you think about them. Fade into slight marks, the less they hurt. The more they mean to you- the more they hurt, the more you believe them- the more they look recent. Red, raw, like they were freshly carved.

Jimin stares at Yoongi, wide-eyed, and hesitates to answer. The longer the silence, the more Yoongi regrets the question. Moves to say Jimin doesn’t have to answer, when Jimin responds. “All of them.”

All of them. From childhood, until now. All of them. Yoongi slows to a stop. Most of his scars have faded. Most of his scars he can ignore, if he doesn’t look at them. “All of them?”

“Yeah?”

“How…many is that?” It’s too personal a question. Yoongi shakes his head, before Jimin can answer. “No- sorry- that’s not any of my business.”

Jimin nods, and they return to a walk. It isn’t until they’re on their floor, that Jimin speaks again. Just as Yoongi opens his door. “Thirty.”

“What?” Yoongi spins, quickly, and Jimin gives him a weak smile.

“I have thirty.”

Jimin returns to his apartment, while Yoongi stares. Unable to move, unable to breathe. Thirty. Yoongi has fifteen, and Jimin- sweet, talented, nice, genuine Jimin- has thirty.

It isn’t fair. The world, life, the way scars work. How true they are, who said them, how much they’re deserved- none of it matters. The scars are based on how you perceive the words. How you feel about them. How you’re hurt by them.

So people like Jimin have thirty and people like Yoongi have fifteen.

Yoongi repeats this sentiment later, muttered, not really expecting Jimin to have anything to say about it.

“But you don’t deserve yours, either.” And it’s so simple, the statement. Breaks Yoongi from his thoughts of the world being unfair for a moment, as shock hits him horribly.

“What?”

“You don’t deserve your, either.” Repeated, with more force, the words make Yoongi’s chest hurt. Because he doesn’t know if he believes them- doesn’t know if he can- but, yet, he easily believed the ones carved into his skin.

“Oh.” Yoongi leans into him, when Jimin wraps an arm around his shoulder. “Thanks.”

“I’m just being honest.”

Yoongi posts the un-posted song that evening. Doesn’t read the comments, even a week later, and doesn’t read his texts, either. Leaves early for work, returns late, to avoid facing Jimin.

Yoongi can’t avoid Jimin forever. They have mutual friends, live in the same apartment complex, and know each other’s schedules too well.

Jimin is sitting outside his apartment, when he returns home. Yoongi can’t turn around and leave, since Jimin sees him, so he approaches. Sits next to Jimin, outside Yoongi’s apartment, and breathes a sigh. Finally, he speaks, softly, “Hey, Jimin.”

“Hey, Yoongi.”

“What’s up?” He can’t muster false casualness, so Yoongi’s words hold all the anxiety he feels. Jimin hums, lightly.

“I heard your song.”

“Figured.”

“It’s lovely. Kind like the last one? Not really your usual, but nice.”

“Thank you.”

“You… can just be you.”

“Huh?” Finally, Yoongi faces Jimin. Jimin, who smiles, stands, and offers Yoongi his hand. Pulls Yoongi to his feet, as Yoongi struggles to process the words.

“You can be you, and I’ll understand.” Jimin pauses, looking away. His own embarrassment is enough to make Yoongi less aware of his own. “And I’ll- and I can- you can be you, and I’ll love you.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t- uh- horribly misunderstand, did I?”

“No- no you- that’s- you got it.”

Besides comments questioning Yoongi recent change in lyrics, most of the comments are positive. Yoongi doesn’t look through them as much as he usually does, before he finally reads his texts. They… are about what he expects, too. Support mixed with a slight amount of teasing. Which becomes a lot more, when he tells them about what’s happened since he posted the song.

It’s raining, as Yoongi leave the convenience store. The rain is supposed to let up, but at the moment it gives no signs of stopping. It’s cold- cold enough the hot coffee in his hands doesn’t help much- as he waits outside of the store, umbrella at his side, as he stands under to the awning. Yoongi pulls his jacket tighter around him, and turns in the direction he knows Jimin will arrive from.

A few minutes later than usual, Jimin jogs up to the store, closing his umbrella as he steps under the awning. “Hey!”

“Hey,” Yoongi greets, in return.

“Sorry I had to talk to my professor.”

“It’s fine.” Yoongi shakes his head, and holds out his hand to take Jimin’s umbrella. Jimin gives a small thanks, before heading into the store. Yoongi turns, watches Jimin grab coffee, and make his way to the register. When Jimin turns around to leave, the cashier meets Yoongi’s eyes with a knowing smile that forces Yoongi to turn back around.

Jimin takes his umbrella back, when he exits, and opens it as he steps out from the awning. Yoongi takes a step forward, and is pulled under it before he can open his own umbrella. “Let’s walk together.”

“We were already going to do that.” Yoongi rolls his eyes, but steps closer, under the umbrella.

“It’s raining,” Jimin says, lightly.

“I hadn’t noticed.” Yoongi’s sarcasm gets a short laugh from Jimin. “Summer’s soon.”

“Finally.” Jimin breathes a sigh, his exhaustion with the rain clear. Yoongi feels all too fond. “We should do something.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know. Go to beach?” Yoongi blanches at the suggestion, and Jimin laughs at him. “Scar covers exist.”

Yoongi knows that, but he’s never had to bother with them. Scars easy enough to hide without them. Still, he looks a Jimin- lightly smiling and seeming unconcerned despite what Yoongi knows of Jimin’s worries- and sighs. “Okay, sure, I’ll think about it.”

“That’s basically a yes.”

“It is not.”

“It is. You love me, you’ll give in.”

“Don’t go using that power for evil all the sudden.”

“Me? Evil? Never.”

“If you say so.”

A little over a year ago, Yoongi barely knew Jimin. A year ago, he and Jimin became friends. A month ago, they started dating.

The rain let’s up, two days later. The words Nobody and I know, are faded next time Yoongi looks. Barely visible. Yoongi leaves the red umbrella on his counter, as he leaves the house to go shopping for scar covers with Jimin.

#yoonmin #romance #skin deep reality au #completed #oneshot #marylynnwrites #PG RATING #i dont remember how to tag things fuck/#cursing

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 6 years

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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: ASTRO (Band) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Moon Bin/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo & Moon Bin, Moon Bin & Everyone Characters: Moon Bin, Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo, Kim Myungjun | MJ, Yoon Sanha, Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, everyone except bin and eunwoo are emotion spirits, Spirits, Friendship, Romance, people with magic are common place, Alternate Universe - Fantasy Summary:

Bin does what might be the dumbest thing he’s ever done. Seeks out runes and spells Dongmin had shown him- specifically so Bin wouldn’t accidentally create them- and uses them purposefully. Summons four emotion spirits into his home, almost entirely to see if he could. And, worse, he binds one of them to himself, incorrectly.

#chaptered #pg rating #binhyuk #magic au #fantasy #romance #friendship #marylynnwrites #ongoing

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 6 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: ONEUS (Band) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Yeo Hwanwoong Characters: Kim Youngjo | Ravn, Yeo Hwanwoong, Kim Geonhak | Leedo, Son Dongju | Xion, Lee Seoho, Lee Keonhee, Original Child Character(s), Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Babysitting, single father ravn, and babysitter hwanwoong, why did I write this, why did i write so MUCH of this, theres a sickfic in the middle of this because its so fucking long, OH SWEARING, Romance, fluff?, theres no real drama except some internal debate, hwanwoong being distracting at all times, (me too ravn), i wrote this in three days, why cant i write my own book this quickly, the original characters are a daughter, and an ex-wife whos only really mentioned for most of the story, oh uh, Bisexual Character, or pan idk, its not addressed ever bc uh, alternate universe were we dont just assume ppl are straight i guess, i dont even ship this really? how did this happen? Summary:

Finding someone to take care of his daughter- trusting a stranger with that- was something Youngjo found incredibly difficult. But, it was necessary, due to his increasing workload. So, he hires one Yeo Hwanwoong with the hope that his daughter will like him, and that it will be fine. Hwanwoong being increasingly distracting was not something Youngjo predicted.

#oh right here it is/#the unnecessarily long oneshot i wrote that nobody is going to read//#marylynnwrites #oneus fanfic #completed #oneshot #other pairings #what the heck is their ship name/

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 6 years

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Less Than Expected [8]

Less Than Expected (by iamashamedofmyfanfics)

Pairing: I.M Centric, Kihyun/I.M/Wonho + Platonic I.M/everyone Genre: Friendship, Romance Universe: Vampire AU Rating: PG13 Warnings: Blood, Swearing, Death mentioned, references to sexual stuff but no actual sexual stuff Length: Chaptered (ongoing) Chapters: [First] [7/Previous] [9/Next]

Notes: I have never in my life had a consistent update schedule

{ao3 version}

Summary: Changkyun was supposed to be recovering from midterms, not being robbed, stabbed, and then turned into a vampire. Yet that’s what happened. Luckily the vampires aren’t half bad company.

“Hey, you know how you let me live here for free? And give me food, and blood, and plan to leave all your money to me when you die?” Changkyun asks, calmly.

“Yes?”

“So like does that make you a- make you my sugar-”

“If you finish that sentence I will personally beat you to death with the home phone.” Kihyun turns to glare at him.

“Why- why specifically the home phone?”

“Well I can’t risk breaking my cell phone.”

From across the room, Hoseok laughs at their entire conversation.

Changkyun is a starving freshman college student who just wants to get back to his tiny dorm and sleep for a week. He doesn’t want to be pulled into an alley and robbed. Yet there he is, with some guys’ foot pushing into him bellow his ribs and another guy telling him to hand over his wallet.

Changkyun does so- slowly- and tosses the wallet away from himself so the second guy-who has a knife- wont get any closer. They take the wallet. For a brief moment they actually seem like they’re going to leave. They take steps away from him while Changkyun pushes himself up in preparation to run once he thinks he can. To run and call the cops.

But then they freeze.

“He’s seen our faces.”

Changkyun tries to run. He’s caught. A hand covers his mouth. Changkyun struggles all he can until they stab him once. And then again. And again.

And Changkyun wakes in a panic, hitting his head on the bunk above him before he tumbles to the floor. He’s alone in the room, which he realizes as soon as his heart stops racing. At least, he thinks it’s racing, but he’s not sure it beats at all any more, and he’s too afraid to confirm this. Light is barely shining through the window, dull. It’s just sunrise.

After a moment, Changkyun breathes a sigh, and pulls himself to his feet. He hadn’t actually had a nightmare of the event, before. Not even after the second time he was in a situation like it, and not following seeing one of the people responsible. So he isn’t really sure what caused it, just that it happened.

The apartment in general is empty, he finds. Kihyun is nowhere to be found, but like usual there’s food left behind, so Changkyun guesses the other must have just gotten up early. Still, food seems entirely unappealing, and blood even less so.

When he was first turned into a vampire- or, rather, when he first woke up after becoming one- Changkyun was told that Minhyuk and Jooheon generally considered their bloodline like an adopted family. So, with nothing else to do with his time, and knowing those two were usually willing to waste time in his company, he asks both of them if they have time to- well- waste with him. A disappointing quest, when both respond with apologies about being busy.

He assumes whatever has Minhyuk preoccupied somehow involves Hyunwoo, and thus crosses the latter off of his list of people to harass. He already knows Kihyun and Hoseok are busy, which was the cause of his boredom in the first place, which leaves two options. Hyungwon, or his human friends.

He chooses the latter if only because he knows he doesn’t have as much time to spend with them as he does any of the vampires.

“You know,” Taehyuk starts, looking at Changkyun as if trying to figure something out, “you remember when you called me, after being gone for three days?”

“Oh- uh- yes?” He does. He remembers trying to make excuses for his absence, in order to not explain he was a vampire, or that he basically died. “What about it?”

“What actually happened?”

“Huh?”

“I know you weren’t telling me the truth, you know. I’m not an idiot.” He sighs, and Changkyun feels guilt well up in his chest. “I just wonder because-”

“Because?”

“You seem different?”

“Oh.” Different. It wasn’t like Changkyun thought he was wrong, either. Far from it.

“Did something bad happen? Can you not tell us?”

“I-” He can’t, he thinks. He can’t tell them. He can’t explain that, and if he tried- “you wouldn’t believe me.”

“I wouldn’t?” The look he gives Changkyun only furthers the guilt he feels. Only further solidifies the feeling that it was a mistake; not cutting ties, not leaving them behind when he had the chance. But he hadn’t wanted that. Hadn’t wanted to lose one of the few things that reminded him that he was still the same person.

“I- look, it wasn’t- nothing-” nothing bad happened? That would be another lie.

“You can’t even finish your sentence.”

“What if- what if I said something ridiculous? Like I died- or I- or I was something crazy like a vampire? You wouldn’t believe that. It’s something just as outlandish.” It was, after all, exactly that.

“I don’t know, I could see it.” Taehyuk offers a brief smile, while Changkyun avoids his eyes. “It would explain why your eyes are red, right now.”

“They’re what?!” Changkyun reaches up for his face, like that will confirm it. He didn’t understand why they were, but maybe his panic was strong enough to warrant that. Which is an upsetting thought, because it would make him more paranoid about interacting with normal people.

“Yeah.”

“I-”

“Still don’t want to explain?”

“Okay.”

So he does. Explains everything, from being robbed, to dying, to waking up in a strangers apartment. Everything he knew about vampires- excluding things specific to the others, knowing that’s not his place to share- to the fact that he was one. To his panic about walking home at night, now that it had killed him.

“So, I assume you don’t want me to tell the others?”

“Not really.”

“Okay, well, can you promise me something, then?”

“Yeah?”

“When you have to leave, you’ll at least keep me updated.”

“Okay, I promise.”

“Hey, so, want to hear something cool?”

“Like- actually cool or sarcastically cool?” Hoseok glances at Changkyun, from the other side of the table. The latter shrugs.

“Depends.”

“On?”

“Opinions.”

“Okay, sure.”

“I told one of my human friends I was a vampire.”

“Why?!” A pause. “No- I mean- you can do that, but I thought you didn’t want to?”

“I didn’t.” Changkyun frowns, replaying the event in his mind. “Apparently my eyes gave me away.”

“Oh, were you stressed?”

“I’m always stressed.”

“More than usual.”

“Yeah, a bit. Did nobody think to warn me about that?”

“Wait- didn’t we?”

“I mean-” Changkyun stops, trying to remember exactly what he was told. “Not specifically. Kihyun said, “under certain circumstances,” but that’s not really specific enough!”

“So what you’re saying is… it’s not my fault.”

“Dude.”

“Well it’s not. I- oh, I know.”

“Know… what?”

“I’m not your sire, so it’s not my job.”

“I don’t have one.”

“A sire?”

“Yeah.”

“I-” Hoseok stops, frowning.

“I mean, yeah, technically I do, but I was specifically told not to refer to him like that, so.” Changkyun shrugs.

“Still.”

“Still?”

“You can put all the blame-” the door opens, though Hoseok doesn’t seem to notice- “on Kihyun.”

Changkyun isn’t the one to speak next. “What?”

“Oh shit, mom’s back.”

"What?" Kihyun repeats, harsher this time.

“Do- do you really want to call Kihyun, mom? Is that what you want?”

“What? Isn’t he group mom? Isn’t that a thing?”

“Yes, sure, that’s the thing.”

“I feel vaguely like you’re making fun of me, and I don’t know why.”

“Just keep not knowing,” Kihyun finally speaks again, making his way into the kitchen.

“Are you stress cooking again?” Changkyun asks, turning his attention to Kihyun, and away from the clearly confused Hoseok.

“No. Just normal cooking? Probably. Haven’t decided if I’m stressed or not yet.”

“Is it,” Hoseok starts, muttering, “is it like dad-”

“Please stop speaking.”

Hoseok does, for a second, before he speaks again. “Oh, yeah, we were talking about Changkyun telling one of his friends he was a vampire.”

“Oh- right- I forgot.” Changkyun nods. “It was a half-accident, but I remembered to keep any details about you guys out of my explanation.”

“Are you okay, then?” Kihyun pauses what he’s doing to face Changkyun.

“Yeah, I think so… stressed, maybe, but.” He closes his sentence by shrugging, realizing he doesn’t actually have words to finish it.

“Maybe you should be the one stress cooking.”

“No, I just say dumb shit when I’m stressed, instead.”

“Like, “Can bite vampire you me,” you mean?” Changkyun glares at Hoseok for that, not wanting to relive that particular failure of speech.

“Oh- no- I think, responding, “okay. That’s kinky,” when I answered a question he asked, might be better.” Kihyun hums in thought. “Or maybe the humble potato thing.”

“Guys.”

“Or saying, “existed,” when I asked what embarrassing thing he did?”

“Guys.”

“No, it was definitely responding, “cool,” when he asked if he could kiss me, and I said yes.”

“Why do you both hate me?”

“You know,” Hyungwon starts, not looking up from his food, “if you want embarrassing stories from their pasts, I got you.”

“Since when do you want to help me?” Changkyun eyes the other with suspicion.

“Between making you suffer, and making them suffer, they win.” Hyungwon shrugs. “You’re amusing when you’re suffering, but they’re even worse.”

“Is- is it just a vampire thing to be a terrible, evil person.”

“I don’t know, is it?”

“Maybe not, Jooheon hasn’t done anything yet.”

“Only Jooheon?”

“Maybe Gunhee, too.” Changkyun nods, to himself. “I guess I could say Hyunwoo, but he hasn’t really had the chance.”

“Not yourself?”

“Oh shit I forgot about myself.” Changkyun pauses, then shakes his head. “No, I spend too much time here, they’ve probably influenced me.”

“Probably.”

“So- like- do you ever eat in your own home?”

“You’ve visited.”

“Sorry, do you ever eat in your own home when I’m not there?”

Hyungwon pauses a suspiciously long time, before nodding. “Yeah, obviously.”

“That wasn’t convincing.”

#i.m centric #changki #wonkyun #kiho #friendship #romance #vampire au #pg13 rating #blood and stuff #cursing #death #chaptered #marylynnwrites #ongoing

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 6 years

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Hunters, Lies, And Leaders (33)

Hunters, Lies, And Leaders (by iamashamedofmyfanfics)

Pairing: None, S.Coups, Woozi, and Hoshi centric (platonic ot13 and unit specific friendships) Genre: Friendship, Fantasy Universe: Other AU Rating: PG13 Length: Chaptered (ongoing) Warnings: Violence Chapters: [Start] [32/Previous] [34/Next]

Notes: Back at it again with the not updating for months and then updating twice in one day.

[ao3 version]

Summary: Hunters are trained warriors meant to fight monsters. They’re here to learn how to do deal with monsters, after learning how to fight. Why it seemed like most of the students don’t know what their doing, is beyond them.

Two weeks after the hunts, Seungcheol becomes aware that the first-year students are falling apart. Not literally, their injuries are all mostly-healed, by now. No, they were what could be called: emotional disasters. It was a bit less so with the largest team, since Jihoon seemed to have a good handle on assuring them- with less than reassuring words- that any failures during their hunt weren’t to be taken onto themselves.

The rest, however? Not taking things so well. Seungcheol couldn’t deny his own teams states- Hansol seemed to be the only one not taking anything that happened too personally- let alone what was going on with Soonyoung’s team. Or, really, with Soonyoung himself.

Which is frustrating for a number of reasons. Starting with the fact that their states wouldn’t help them any, and ending with the fact that he didn’t know what to do about it. Assuring Mingyu and Wonwoo that they shouldn’t feel bad about anything that happened doesn’t help any, because they already know this. They know, but still do. He’s not in a position where he can do much for Soonyoung’s team, without it seeming like he doesn’t trust Soonyoung with his own team. Leaving him unsure what to do with his awareness of everyone’s states.

Third-year students are out on hunts, apparently, and as such a few of their professors aren’t around. That leaves them with only half-days for the next week, or so, and that time is meant to be used for extra training. Something the first-years know they desperately need. However, Seungcheol finds himself sitting at a table in the cafeteria, leaned against it in thought. Across from him, Hansol looks over notes Seungcheol gave him about some of the material learned in combat school, that they didn’t cover during their initial catch-up session. To his left, Jihoon is writing something.

“Hey, you guys think we should… do something about the others?” Seungcheol asks, leaning against his crossed arms.

“Mhm.” Jihoon nods. “Don’t know what to do, though.”

“Uh, well, should we get everyone together for something?” Hansol offers.

“We do that anyway. Training.”

“Something that isn’t that.”

“Well… first I think it would ease some worries if we finished unlocking everyone’s Aura’s.” Seungcheol sighs. “And then? Maybe find something less related to our future careers.”

“I guess.”

When they ask, Soonyoung is perfectly willing to unlock the Aura of one of Jihoon’s teammates. Considering there are only three people’s left to unlock, and two of them are part of that team, it seems like the only logical thing to do.

So, the three team gather together yet again. This time they anticipate that someone is bound to end up falling over, when they do it, and someone stands behind both parts of the process. Seungcheol goes first, with Wonwoo, and his remaining teammates each stand behind one of them.

“You ready?” Seungcheol asks, raising his hands to their positions.

“Yeah.” There’s a determination in Wonwoo’s expression that Seungcheol doesn’t recognize. With a nod, Seungcheol starts to push his Aura out, at Wonwoo. Any expectation that Seungcheol has about it being easier the third time, is wrong. His Aura bounces back at him with more force than the other times, and he stumbles back against Hansol.

“You okay?” Hansol asks, glancing at both him and Wonwoo, who shakes his head.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine.” Wonwoo’s response doesn’t sound entirely convincing, but it’s not like there’s much to be done.

Jihoon takes to unlocking Seungkwan’s Aura, himself, leaving Jisoo for Soonyoung. Jihoon braces himself for the inevitable negative reaction unlocking the other’s Aura will cause, when he starts. Seungkwan, for his part, seems more nervous than anyone else had.

“Calm down, Seungkwan.”

“Right, right, sorry.”

Jihoon finds himself stumbling away from Seungkwan, vision blurring. He blinks, once, twice, before it starts to clear and he can see Seungkwan being lead to sit down.

“See, nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah.”

Soonyoung is surprised, when unlocking Jisoo’s Aura results in little more than exhaustion and stumbling back when it happens. It is, possibly, the easiest time he’s had with any of them, and that shows.

“Maybe it does get easier over time.”

“Speak for yourself.” Seungcheol mutters, leaning against a wall.

“I am. It was easier this time.” Soonyoung grins, and gets an annoyed groan in response.

All dramatics are thrown aside when testing the remaining three’s Aura. Everyone's eager, after everything else, to just get through with it. Wonwoo goes first. It take a while for him to seemingly figure out how to access his Aura, even with instruction. But, once he does, the tester displays a blue line.

Seokmin gives a small cheer at that. “Welcome to the Strengthening club.”

“Uh, we’re a club now?” Junhui raises an eyebrow at him, but Seokmin just nods.

“Yep.”

“This is news to me,” Seungcheol says, tilting his head.

“Never mind, it’s just me and Wonwoo, you two suck.”

The tester is passed to Seungkwan next. Despite his earlier nervousness, Seungkwan seems to figure it out the fastest, his tester beeping quicker than anyone previously had. Green- Projecting.

“Do we have a club, too?”

“I don’t know, do we?” Hansol looks to Soonyoung, who shrugs.

“Sure.”

“Then yes.”

“Sweet.” Seungkwan grins, and passes the tester to Jisoo. It takes a few seconds, before the tester beeps with the final result. Another Projecting type. “Hey, welcome to the club Jisoo.”

“Can you, who just joined, welcome me?”

“I just did.”

“That’s not fair, they all went along with the club joke.” Seokmin pouts at Seungcheol and Junhui, neither of whom seem perturbed by this.

“I want to officially, right now, state for the record: we don’t have a club, either.” Jihoon looks between Mingyu, Jeonghan, Minghao, and Chan.

“Yeah, no, I saw that coming.” Jeonghan shrugs.

“Good,” Minghao says, simply. The other two, on the other hand, both frown at this information.

“It’s okay, you two, we can start a not-in-a-club-club.” Seokmin grin at them, only to have the others laugh at this statement.

“That’s a horrible name for a club!” Seungkwan doesn’t seem at all bothered when Seokmin turns to glare at him.

“You stay out of this, club have-er.”

“So,” Jisoo starts, “what do we do now?”

“What do you mean?” Mingyu raises an eyebrow at him.

“I just- I mean obviously we train our Aura’s, but- I don’t know. We all have them now, so is there like a next step?”

“Oh, huh.”

“Besides training your Aura’s, not really,” Seungcheol answers, shrugging. “Besides that it’s just a matter of getting stronger, learning more, and strengthening teamwork. Which, you know, will come with time.”

“Time, right.”

“You knew this would take time. There’s a reason we’re going to be here for years, before we can be hunters. Don’t try and push yourself to rush things for no reason. All of you,” Jihoon adds, frowning at them. “Now, we’re all tired, right?”

“I think that’s just you.”

“Fight me.”

#s.coups centric #woozi centric #hoshi centric #all of seventeen #friendship #fantasy #other au #pg13 rating #violence #chaptered #marylynnwrites #ongoing

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 7 years

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The Ability To Know

The Ability To Know (by iamashamedofmyfanfics)

Pairing: Woozi & Mingyu Genre: Friendship Universe: AU where harsh words cause physical scars Rating: PG13 Warnings: Swearing, mentions of verbal abuse (both purposeful and unintentional). Length: Oneshot (5765 words)

Notes: I wrote all this in one day please save me. part of the Skin Deep Reality AU but this AU is a collection of oneshots so there’s literally 0 need to read the others.

{ao3 version}

Summary: There’s a distinct difference between being afraid of people as a whole, and being afraid of giving them power over you. Being scared to leave your home, for fear someone will say something and give you a new pattern of insults on your skin, is inherently different from being afraid that you’ll allow someone the chance to speak, only for them to take that chance to do something which breaks whatever trust you’re allowing them.

Jihoon isn't scared of people. He really isn't.

What he's scared of are the scars already resting on his skin.

Though you’ll never fully understand someone with just a first meeting, there’s a lot you can learn in the first few minutes you know someone. In the nearly seventy years before Jihoon was born- before the generation born around that time and everyone born after started gaining scars from harsh words- and the years since, this has become even more true. There’s a lot you can tell about someone, if you can see their scars, by what words stick with them. What words they, at one point, believed or hated enough for them to be carved into their skin.

Not every mean thing shows up, after all. If you don’t realize it’s an insult, or, maybe, if you truly, with all your heart, don’t believe it, it wont scar. If you can block the words out, wholly and completely, then they wont be seared into your skin by whatever yet unknown force decided humanity didn’t have enough ways to hurt each other. And, the less you believe them, the more the existing scars will fade into soft marks, instead of blistering, blaring, reds.

There’s a lot you can learn, when you first meet people, by just looking at them. If they choose not to hide their every scar, then which ones are startlingly red- new, or old and truly believed- which are faded, despite matching the same word, somewhere else, that’s harsh and fresh looking- the ones that were more self inflicted, than given. There’s a lot you can learn, in just a few seconds.

Which is as good a reason as any to wear long sleeves, and jackets, and scarves. To make sure that whatever scars he has- few, and faded, but there- aren’t visible when meeting new people. Not that Jihoon makes a habit of meeting new people. More often than not one of his already existing friends introducing him to someone is the only way that happens.

As is, currently, his- unnecessarily tall- friend, Mingyu, has dragged him out of his dorm- when he’s supposed to be studying for a test, the next week- to meet his new friends. A group of people Mingyu apparently shares multiple of his courses with, this year. Not surprising, since he’s downgraded his number of classes to be more manageable, and most of them are relating to his major. Last year he’d signed up for far too many, and spent most of his time stressed. Something which did no favors for him, especially when multiple stressed people spending time together was a disaster waiting to happen.

So, he’d cut back this year, and decided to primarily focus his attention. Thus leading him to meet his new friends. Friends who, of course, needed to meet Jihoon. For some reason. Jihoon’s pretty sure this is just an excuse to make him leave his dorm, but he was also offered free food. Hunger won out over the want to never interact with another human being.

“I still stand by the fact that this is entirely unnecessary. Can’t I just meet your new friends naturally? Or, you know, never.”

“Because then you wouldn’t get free food?”

“I hate you, and your using my weaknesses against me.”

“That’s a lie.”

The first generation often talk about how difficult it was to grow up in a world where not only did harsh words cause physical scars, but also where nobody really understood anything behind it. It’s only a recent study- nearly five years old, now- that figured out that how much the person hearing the words believed them, or were hurt by them, had an affect on how they appeared. Over time, though, things have gotten arguably better.

At the very least, people know better what is going on. How much of an affect their words have. This had always been true, but the fact that it causes physical damage, now, helps solidify what people had been saying for hundreds of years. Words hurt just as much as anything else.

That doesn't stop some people, of course. It certainly doesn't help that sometimes the words aren't even meant to insult, or were simple things twisted around by tone of voice.

So, really, is it any surprise some people choose to avoid new people, and the risk they’ll say something that causes new wounds?

People who didn’t avoid them are either thick-skinned enough to ignore the words, or open enough to admit that they hurt, but not give up on people in general. It takes a lot for people to be public figures, or even to pursue careers where lots of people will see them regularly. Though he’d met his fair share of both people who were unbothered, and those who chose to interact with others regularly either way, it is still hard for Jihoon to understand the reasoning of it.

Why give anyone else that kind of power over you? The ability to carve reminders of your own doubts into your skin, despite your best effort.

It took a lot to trust the people he was close to, while spending time with them semi-regularly, but strangers? They aren’t worth that effort. People are either worth the risk, or they’re not, and it’s far too easy to find out when they’re not.

People who are worth it are harder to find, and it’s an effort that seems unnecessary when you already have plenty of people in your life.

Unfortunately, despite any complaints Jihoon has, Mingyu is his friend, and he probably would have agreed- eventually- even without the promise of food. Not that he’d go around admitting that any time soon- he’s known Mingyu long enough to know he wouldn’t let that go if he did. Mingyu had been his friend since they were middle school students- Mingyu in the year bellow Jihoon, but being his new neighbor, at that time- and even though they get annoyed with each other, that friendship has lasted so far. If they had to put a reason for it, it was probably that they knew each other well enough to know times when they can use certain words- ones one or the other has as scars- without causing more damage. Because they’re well aware of each others limits, and aren’t nearly as willing to let each other hear those words from other people, as they are from each other.

And, in general, because they’ve both at some point been aware of every one of each others scars.

“Try me, I’ll turn back right away, you giant loser.”

“You wound me, you tiny, bitter man.” Mingyu rushes forward, ahead of Jihoon, to avoid being hit by him. They’re nearing their destination- an on-campus coffee place that also happens to sell the best, sweetest, bread on campus- so Jihoon doesn’t bother to give chase. He still makes mental note, however, to hit Mingyu later. It’s a mental note added to a pile of mental notes consisting mostly of violence towards people he calls friends.

“That’s a lie, shut the fuck up.”

By coincidence- and the fact that their college is fairly small- Jihoon already knows at least one of Mingyu’s new friends. He shares a class with Seungcheol- a class said man happens to be failing- and they’ve briefly talked on one or two occasions. The other two- Wonwoo and Hansol- he’s only ever heard of from Mingyu, and even then it was without knowing their names.

They aren’t, by any means, bad people. At the very least, they don’t seem it. Still, it’s hard to ignore the ever-nagging voice that says that someone doesn’t have to be bad in order to hurt someone else. Idly, Jihoon runs his hand over his left arm, as they talk to him.

“I think Mingyu exaggerated how scared we should be,” Hansol says, leaning against the table.

“Don’t be fooled,” Mingyu puts a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder, only to have it immediately shrugged off, “I was serious about him being evil.”

“How dare you. I’m an angel.”

“Don’t lie to the people.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You once punched me in the face and broke my nose because I tried to wake you up.”

“That was an accident, and also: shut the fuck up.”

People think they’re being nice.

Contrary to popular belief, he actually used to considered a taller kid. Then most everyone had growth-spurts, and ended up approximately 7ft tall, and suddenly it wasn’t true anymore. People think they’re being nice, sometimes, when they say things that personally offend you. It isn’t as if they’re trying to, it isn’t as if doing so makes them inherently a bad person.

People think they’re being nice. So the faded, curvy, letters- overlapped by the same word, multiple times over- that curl their way up his left forearm really aren’t things he can actively blame anyone for.

Cute.

When they were in high school- Jihoon in his last year, and Mingyu just one behind him- they spent a lot less time together. It wasn’t as if they were suddenly not friends, and more often than not one of them would spend dinner at the others home, since they lived right across from each other. It was just that they had other friends, and didn’t need to see each other much. Then, at one point Mingyu disappeared for three days in February.

It wasn’t like he was just gone or anything. He was at his home. Jihoon knew that much because his parents mentioned it, briefly. But Mingyu didn’t leave his house, or come to school, for those few days. Then, when he returned, it was like nothing happened.

People assumed he was sick. Most people assumed he was sick.

Except one person makes a comment about thinking that they, “finally made one he’d be too ashamed to come back to school after,” and, really, it should have been more surprising than it was. Should have been harder to process. Because Mingyu is a good person, really, and nothing burned into his skin is something he deserves.

And, so, it’s not really surprising when Jihoon gets a detention for kicking someone in the face.

He finds that Mingyu’s shoulder is engraved with tiny, faded, lettering. Giant, followed by a mess of overlapping letters that’s indecipherable. Caused by multiple words, unable to be made out, but hateful none the less, being thrown at the same time.

They separate from Mingy’s new friends (“They’re basically yours now, too,” Mingyu says when Jihoon says something about them seeming like good friends for Mingyu) as it begin to get dark. With excuses about studying, and a pointed look at both Seungcheol and Mingyu, Jihoon manages to escape the situation. Mingyu follows him all the way to his dorm- since they’re only three doors down from one another- in surprising silence.

“Thanks,” Mingyu says, just before Jihoon closes his door on Mingyu.

There’s a pause. Jihoon nods. “You did promise me food.” He closes the door.

Once, when he was very young, Jihoon heard an insult thrown at him that, despite knowing lots of words, for his age, he didn’t understand. All he knew was that it was said harshly, like an attempt to tear him down as a person. So, even though he didn’t know what it was supposed to mean, it etched its way over his right leg, in blocky font.

It wasn’t until years later, when he looked down at it and had a startling moment of realization that it didn’t mean anything.

Fairy.

Mingyu and Jihoon have a mutual friend- most of their friends are mutual, actually- who wants to be a dancer. He’s good, too. He- Soonyoung- has a honestly admirable amount of determination. Even when scars trail over his skin, over even his hands, visible. He doesn’t shy away from attention, nor his scars, and it’s admittedly a feature of his that one can look up to him for.

It should be something that is purely that, too. But people don’t like knowing that they’re incapable of doing something. The fact that he’s able to wear those words so openly on his sleeves- in a literal sense, as well- when Jihoon more often then not hides his from himself, is frustrating.

The fact that it bothers him, is frustrating.

“Hello you’ve reached the phone of Lee Jihoon please don’t leave a message ever.”

“I know this isn’t your answering machine.”

“Beep.”

“Jihoon.”

“What do you want, Soonyoung?”

“More people to come to my performance.”

“And you called me?”

“We’re friends.”

“On occasion.” Soonyoung laughs, and Jihoon finds himself rolling his eyes, despite knowing Soonyoung can’t see him. “Yeah, okay, I’ll try.”

“Thanks.”

When Jihoon was twelve years old, he decided, very adamantly, that he would never leave the house again. He was forced to go to school, despite his insistence that he could be home schooled, but outside of that he’d chosen never to go outside again. It last, too, because nobody really wants to force him outside. His logic is something that his parents can’t argue with, really, even though they want to. Even though they want to assure him he’s wrong.

“If I don’t go outside then I can’t get any more words.”

It’s not entirely true. He could insult himself, and have the same result, if he means it enough. But there’s such a smaller chance, if he doesn’t leave his house. They try to argue that he has to leave the house sometimes. That he can’t avoid people entirely. That there’s enough good to come from it. Just as much of it as there is bad. Maybe even more.

Jihoon is having none of it, though. Refuses at every chance, and ignores everyone when he is forced out of the house.

He keeps this up, too. For years. Then Mingyu become his friend- all but forced into his life by his parents inviting the new neighbors over almost daily, or the other way around- no matter how much he tries to pretend they aren’t. Then, Mingyu makes friends with someone he promises Jihoon will like, and tries to get Jihoon to leave the house to meet him.

Refusal is kept up for a while. Jihoon doesn’t give up so easily that it happens right away. But, as stubborn as Jihoon is, Mingyu is just as persistent.

“You can wear headphones, and not speak directly to him, or whatever you want this time, just please? I want my friends to know each other.”

“Fine.”

Jihoon leaves his house, bundled up far more than anyone needs to, in the late spring weather, with headphones on his ears, and the volume turned up enough it might just damage his hearing. He communicates purely by typing things out on his phone. To his credit, Mingyu still seems to see this as a success, and that’s how Jihoon meets one Boo Seungkwan.

Seungkwan is an energetic, bright, person a couple years younger than Jihoon, who takes the state of their meeting really well. It’s through him, that Mingyu and Jihoon both meet Soonyoung.

Soonyoung, who’s hands bare scars of words that Jihoon has a hard time picturing anyone saying. He wonders, somewhere in the back of his mind, if it’s difficult. If looking at them every day, unavoidably, is painful. If they hurt, still, like fresh, burning wounds.

But they’re faded, soft, and if they hurt, Soonyoung would wear gloves. If they were too much, he’d hide them. If he was as messed up about them, as Jihoon is of the few, easily hidden, scars he has, then he would cover them.

Whatever frustration he feels, part of him does take solace in that. In the fact that it is possible to move past them. To look at them and not feel anger, and guilt, and pain.

It still hurts, knowing he isn’t able to do that yet, but it’s something. And, maybe, the bitter feeling in his gut will turn into a motivation to stop believing other people.

When he’s sixteen, Jihoon stops adamantly refusing to leave the house, even if just every once in a while.

As it turns out, Soonyoung’s performance is just an hour after Jihoon has a final for his English course. A class he only took because it would help his overall progress towards his major, and one he dislikes immensely. It would be easy enough to just say that he has a final right before, and that he wont be able to make it. Even if it’s only partially true- he’ll be a bit late at most, if he does go- it would still work.

Which is why, when he leaves the class, that afternoon, he isn’t really sure why he only rushes to his dorm to drop off his stuff, before heading there. It would be easy enough to avoid, and he’s usually expected to avoid anything that means being around other people.

Still, this is important to his friend, and he cant actually bring himself to lie in order to get out of it.

Mingyu seems surprised, when Jihoon finds him and drops down next to him. Soonyoung’s performance is just a minute away, he managed just barely not to be late.

“You came?”

“Obviously. You can see me.”

“I just mean, you had a final today…”

“Yeah.”

He doesn’t have to say it, for Jihoon to understand what the look on Mingyu’s face means. He hits him- because he hadn’t forgotten his mental note to do that, and because he doesn’t like the look- so he’ll stop. Mingyu has no right to look so damn proud about this, of all things.

Mingyu is, undeniably, far too tall. Like, unfairly so. It’s a fact no one would really argue with, and is the reason that comparing someone to him, in terms of height, is entirely ridiculous. Most people would, in turn, think this is a good thing. A quality that, more often than not, is the one used to mock other people. Mingyu has never really cared much about it, according to his own words. He’ll occasionally use this trait as a means to halfhearted teasing of people who are shorter than him- which is most every one of his friends, but especially Jihoon- but otherwise it’s not something he thinks much about.

It’s not.

By the time they are both graduated, Jihoon and Mingyu are fully aware of each others scars. When you’re close friends with people, for a long while, you tend to know them fairly well. Tend to find out things that they don’t always share, or don’t always think about themselves. It’s a scary thing, to have someone know so much that they could use against you.

By the time they both graduated, Jihoon and Mingyu are fully aware of each others scars. There’s a perfectly type-font word on Mingyu’s back that might as well be a matching piece with the messy scrawl on Jihoon’s right shoulder blade.

Sometimes, even if the word doesn’t sound bad, its meaning is enough. The reason it was said, is enough.

Building, is a stark contrast to, child.

The first generation is sprinkled in between people lucky enough to be born just a year, or a few months, before the generation that would end up with scars. Before the populations slow transition into one where words marring your skin is normal. Jihoon’s grandmother was lucky enough to be born just before then, and she, sometimes, looks at him far too sadly.

“I wish you didn’t have to deal with them. You shouldn’t let them get to you, they’re not true.”

It’s strange, really. To hear someone talk about people insulting them and, despite the words mentally sticking with them, having nothing to hide, physically. It’s stranger, still, how words of comfort feel so… wrong. How, “shouldn’t let them get to you,” makes him feel sick to his stomach.

It isn’t like he has a choice.

“How’d you get into my dorm?” Jihoon glances shortly at Mingyu, who’s leaned back in Jihoon’s desk chair.

“Your dorm-mate let me in.”

“Damn it, Jun.” Jihoon would make a mental note to hit Junhui, if it wasn’t for the fact he sees his dorm-mate approximately twice a week in passing. Their schedules being practically the opposite of each other, had more benefits than negatives, but not being able to complain to the person himself when Junhui did something like this, is certainly a negative. “Why are you here?”

“Can’t I just visit my friend?”

“You could. But you don’t.” Jihoon drops his bag next to his bunk, before flopping onto it and glancing at Mingyu, across the room. “What is it?”

“I really did just want to visit.”

“Are you avoiding studying?”

“No…”

“Fine, fine. But did you even come up with something to talk about, while you’re here? Or do you plan to just shut up for once?”

“Have you ever known me to shut up?”

“Yeah, back when you were scared of me.”

“I’m still scared of you.”

“That’s good.” Jihoon sits up, stretching in an attempt to shake off exhaustion. “So what’s wrong?”

“I told you I just wanted to visit.”

“You wouldn’t have had Jun let you in, if that was the case.” Mingyu usually just waits for Jihoon to get back, if he wants to visit. The only reason he wouldn’t, is if he was upset and didn’t want to risk that Jihoon wouldn’t let him in. Jihoon knows him too well not to realize that.

“Was just thinking.”

“A dangerous thing.” Jihoon glances at the clock, before sighing. “Next time bring food.”

“No promises.” Mingyu laughs, spinning in the chair. “I just wanted to share my sweet new scar with my best friend.”

“But you came here instead?” Jihoon motions Mingyu over, despite his joking tone, and Mingyu rolls the chair towards him.

“Yeah, well, he’s really mean, so.” Mingyu shrugs. Jihoon only nods, taking Mingyu’s arm when he holds it out. “It’s not a new word, but…”

“Doesn’t really matter.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s pretty faded already, though.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve already dealt with it, haven’t I?” There’s a bitterness to his tone that is so unlike Mingyu that Jihoon actually fails to come up with a response right away. He knows, if he’s honest, that it’s a very him-like response, more than a Mingyu-like one. The feeling like it shouldn’t have done anything- shouldn’t have scared, shouldn’t have hurt- because he’d already dealt with those feelings. Already reflected on that word. Already understood why it hurt, and why it shouldn’t.

Already moved past this. Should be fine, now.

“Yeah, well, when have feelings ever decided to be logical for once?”

“Sometimes I get ice cream and feel happy. So that’s logical.”

“Now you’re just mocking me with food.”

“Ice cream isn’t food.”

“It is if you hate yourself enough.”

“You worry me.” Mingyu shakes his head, before turning to cough. Jihoon instinctively moves away, knowing Mingyu has a habit of not taking logical precautions not to spread disease. If he’s honest, the fact that none of Mingyu’s scars are related to being a walking epidemic, is surprising. Good, but still, maybe if one were he’d be more cautious. Which is a terrible thought, and one Jihoon pushes aside.

“You worry me, you sky-scraper sized walking illness.”

“Whatever, kid, you’ll survive my coughing.”

“I’m older than you, you walking epidemic.” Jihoon kicks at Mingyu’s outstretched legs, then the chair, forcing Mingyu back a few inches.

“And here I was, going to offer ice cream.”

“I don’t want food that’s gone anywhere near you.”

“Rude.”

Left forearm. Right thigh. Right shoulder blade. Left wrist. Left rib. Under the right of his collar bone. Lower, left back. Words, different fonts. Mostly all easily hidden, with long sleeves and scarves. There aren’t any mirrors in the dorm that aren’t hand mirrors, and it’s easy, really, to hide them from himself. To pretend they don’t exist, because he never has to look at them.

Cute, and Fairy, and Child, and Evil, and Hermit, and Get To You, and Failure.

If you take them, one by one, and go over them- think about why they aren’t true, or why they aren’t insults, or why they shouldn’t hurt- they really shouldn’t hurt. Why do they hurt?

If you take them, one by one, and go over them, you might get over them. Get past them, and decide that they don’t matter, that they don’t hurt. That nobody has enough power over you to make you think about something they said so much. (To make you look at it and know that someone meant it.)

But no matter how many times he goes over the words, again and again, for some reason he comes to the same conclusion.

Even if he should be over this, he isn’t.

And he hates that.

“Are you sure about that? It’s ice cream, after all, which is apparently food.”

“It is food.” Jihoon rolls his eyes. “But actually, real food is probably a good idea.”

“Have instant noodles?”

“Yeah.” Jihoon nods, understanding. Despite joking about not wanting food that’s gone anywhere near him, Jihoon knows Mingyu is actually pretty good at cooking. Even if noodles aren’t exactly a challenge. “Go ahead.”

It’s strange, really, Jihoon thinks. Mingyu stands to move to what could be called the dorm’s ‘kitchen’ while Jihoon flops back to maybe get some rest. It’s strange, but he knows no comparisons to building from him will do anything to Mingyu. Just like any use of all but one of Jihoon’s words from Mingyu wont do anything to him. They’ve mastered using them in ways that make them easier to hear, at least from each other, over the past few years. It’s strange, he thinks, that he can’t hear the words from himself, still, despite this.

“Why are literally all of your pans dirty?”

“Jun is a heathen.”

“Don’t blame your roommate.”

“Fine, we both are. Happy?”

“Yep.”

There was a time, when Jihoon was twelve- and a few years following that- when he refused to leave his house except to go school. The logic of why, and the habit of it, haven’t ever really left. It’s not unusual for him to stay in his dorm for days on end, except if he has to attend class. Nobody is really surprised by this, when it happens.

There was a time, when Jihoon was twelve, that he decided that going out into the world, that interacting with people, wasn’t worth the risk.

There’s a time, when in college, that Jihoon locks himself in his dorm for nearly a week, before he decides that he really can’t get away with this anymore. When he remember that his classes are important, and that most people will just ignore him anyway.

“You’ve risen from the dead, again. How rare. I was worried I just made you up.”

“It’s a talent, truly.” Jihoon breathes a sigh, not bothering to look at Mingyu. “Somebody put me on a cryptid show or something.”

There’s a distinct difference between being afraid of people as a whole, and being afraid of giving them power over you. Being scared to leave your home, for fear someone will say something and give you a new pattern of insults on your skin, is inherently different from being afraid that you’ll allow someone the chance to speak, only for them to take that chance to do something which breaks whatever trust you’re allowing them.

Jihoon spends at most five minutes with Soonyoung, on one summer afternoon. It’s nearly the end of the year, and despite the usual weather for the area, the summer heat is worryingly warm. Soonyoung takes note of this and, without any hesitation, removes his jacket. There are more scars, there, nearly looking purposeful in their patterned arrangement.

Jihoon spends at most five minutes with Soonyoung, that day, and is immediately reminded of something he both admires and hates in the other. It’s less than five minutes, really. Just a few minutes.

“Do you think anyone would notice if I started wearing short sleeves again? Summer is murdering me, and college was already doing that well enough on it’s own.” Jihoon’s question is directed at Mingyu, instead of the person that prompted it.

“Notice? Yeah. Care? Probably not. If they do, I’ll hit them?’

“You’re not about to fight anyone.”

“Are you insinuating that I’m not totally prepared to beat someone up?”

“I’m insinuating that I once watched you try to punch a stationary punching bag and miss.”

“To be fair, I’m pretty sure he had also been spun in circles before that happened,” Soonyoung adds, from where he’s packing up his stuff to leave. He has a final later in the day.

“No this was before that. Somehow he did better that time.”

“Can we just… not remind me of this?” At Mingyu’s frown, the other two nod.

During finals week most people are far too caught up in their own heads to pay attention to anyone else. This is something Jihoon takes solace in, when for what may be the first time in years, he allows some of his scars to be visible.

There’s an itching in the back of his mind, about how bad and idea this is. About how it’ll just make things worse. How it-

“Oh wow, you actually did it. And here I thought It was just me.” Mingyu’s voice is vaguely startling, and Jihoon spins around to face him. They’re just outside the dorm building, so he’s not sure why he’s so surprised.

“Why are you...” Jihoon doesn’t need to complete the question, glancing over Mingyu.

“Solidarity.” Mingyu raises on of arms, the newest scar readily on display, and makes a fist.

“Don’t be dumb, that’s not necessary.”

“Most things I do aren’t.” Mingyu shrugs. Despite not knowing exactly what that’s supposed to mean, Jihoon gives a small snort of laughter in response.

“Yeah, okay. That’s fair.”

If a middle school Jihoon was asked to describe his worst nightmare, it would probably be something along of the lines of being forced to go outside, without absolute certainty that all of his scars were hidden away.

If you asked Jihoon, now, what his worst nightmare was, it would probably be something like having a new scar appear somewhere visible while around other people. That’s probably it. The reason he feels anxious the second he no longer has a test in front of him with which he can distract himself.

Mingyu spends most of the day trailing behind Jihoon when they aren’t in classes (they don’t have any together). It’s borderline annoying, but there’s just enough fondness in having known Mingyu for as long as he has- and the reason behind his actions- that he allows it.

“Hey, you’re back early,” Junhui greets, when Jihoon enters their shared dorm, closing the door in Mingyu’s face. Jihoon shrugs. He doesn’t miss the brief second where Junhui glances at his arms, but Junhui doesn’t comment on it. “Are you really going to leave the poor guy out there?”

“He lives literally three doors away.”

“Yeah, but you know he’s still standing there.” Jihoon doesn’t want to admit Junhui is right, but he knows he is. So, with a sigh, he turns around and opens the door.

“Fine, you weirdo, come in.”

“I’m not weird. Closing doors in your friend’s faces is weird.” Mingyu glances around Jihoon- not that it he actually needs to, so he’s just leaning to the side to annoy Jihoon- and waves at Junhui. “Hey Jun.”

“Hey.”

The one day is far too stressful, and Jihoon has returned to his usual habits by the next day. Still he feels a small amount of accomplishment, at managing to make it through the day before. Something reflected in his unusual willingness to be genuinely nice without even pretending he’s not being. Something Mingyu wastes no time pointing out.

“Who are you and what have you done with my friend?”

“You’re the height of comedy, truly.” Jihoon rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, obviously, why else would you keep me around.” Mingyu shrugs, moving back when Jihoon halfheartedly kicks him.

“Don’t say shit like that.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. What’s up with you?”

“I’m counting yesterday as a success, but that doesn’t change that I’m back at it again today.”

“Progress takes time. Or you know, overcoming years of habits takes times.”

“Don’t suddenly become one of my smart friends.”

“Jokes on you, I was one the whole time.”

“Shocking. Heartbreaking. Call an ambulance I think I’m having a heart attack.”

“Nevermind what I said earlier, you’re definitely yourself. Just as mean as ever.”

“It’s my only defining feature.”

“Okay but, on a serious note: you’re okay?”

“Yeah, obviously. If I wasn’t I wouldn’t be out of my dorm. I don’t know, I guess I expected so much worse that I’m pretty okay at the moment.”

“Well, that’s good.”

“And, uh…”

“Yes?”

“Thanks.” Jihoon meet’s Mingyu’s eyes briefly, and the other nods. “I said it was unnecessary- which it was- but, you know... it might have made it slightly easier.”

When meeting people, in a world where harsh words can leave physical scars, you can learn a lot about a person, right away. Even if you can’t see a single word, there’s a lot to be gathered by the way they hold themself or dress. And while over analyzing these things when meeting someone isn’t really good for anyone, it tends to happen.

A middle school aged Lee Jihoon meets Kim Mingyu and instantly knows three things. Mingyu immediately seems smaller than he actually is, because of his posture. Mingyu’s attempts to cover his own scars are so obvious, that Jihoon can instantly pinpoint where are least two of them are, despite not trying to. And Mingyu isn’t the kind of person he expects to be friends with.

When meeting people, In a world where harsh words can leave physical scars, you can learn a lot about a person, right away. College student, Lee Jihoon has been friends with one Kim Mingyu since middle school, and wonders what he’d think, if he just met him now. If his thoughts of that Mingyu, and current Mingyu, would be different, when it comes to first impressions.

“You know, I thought I’d hate you when we first met.” Mingyu gives a small hum of acknowledgement at this.

“Weird, I thought I would hate you.”

“The perfect start to a friendship.”

“Obviously.” Mingyu laughs, not looking up from his phone.

“Hey, make food.”

“Why do I have to?”

“Because you love me?”

“Try again.”

“I’ll help you edit an essay next year or whatever.”

“Deal.”

#jigyu #friendship #other au #pg13 rating #cursing #oneshot #completed #marylynnwrites

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 7 years

Text

The Progression Into "Shit Show"

The Progression Into "Shit Show" (by iamashamedofmyfanfics)

Pairing: Suga/Jimin/Taehyung Genre: Friendship, Romance (debatable), Humor Universe: (the best) Fake Dating AU Rating: PG Warnings: Swearing, multiple counts of fake cheating Length: Oneshot ( 4169 words)

Notes: I may have written it, but @daybreakstorm deserves half the credit (or blame) for this.

{ao3 version}

Summary: It starts, like most things, very simply. The downward spiral of Yoongi’s life from ‘normal’ to ‘absolute shit show’ isn’t something he immediately sees coming.

It starts, like most things, very simply. The downward spiral of Yoongi’s life from ‘normal’ to ‘absolute shit show’ isn’t something he immediately sees coming. See, it all begins with his parent’s attempts to enrich his life. Which he would appreciate, had their plan to do so not been to set him up with girls in the hopes that, one day, one of them would be someone he was interested in. It isn’t like any of the people they try to ‘trick’ him into going on blind dates with are bad, by any means. In fact, he might even like some of them, under different circumstances. But he really just doesn’t like the idea of being set up with someone while on a blind double-date with his parent’s as the other couple.

So, he takes solace in the fact that his parents at least allow him choice of restaurant. Two of his close friends- Jimin and Taehyung- happen to work at to place he picks as waiters. They are the only good thing about the ‘dates’ in the end. They give him every opportunity to avoid talking to his dates, and listen to his complaints after everyone else has left. More often than not, Jimin is the one severing them, because Taehyung has a harder time pretending like he doesn’t know Yoongi, but they’ve both been his servers at one time or another, and he honestly really appreciates their presences.

On this particular day, they’re both working, and Taehyung is the server. And the ‘surprise’ guest of his parent’s is a girl a little older than Yoongi. She’s fairly nice, and cute, so Yoongi feels a little bad that she’s been dragged into this, especially since he has aproximentally zero interest in any part of this.

“Hi. I’m Yoongi and I don’t want to be here.” Yoongi shakes her hand, and she looks vaguely taken aback. Though she covers up a laugh, Yoongi’s mother smacks his arm, sighing.

“I told you not to introduce yourself like that anymore.”

“Well, it’s true.” Yoongi shrugs. He does feel a bit bad because of the disappointment clear on her face, but it isn’t his fault he’s been put in a situation he doesn’t want to be put in. It’s uncomfortable enough to go on blind dates, but to have them all be the result of his parent’s ‘tricking’ him into going on them doesn’t help at all.

He’s honestly beginning to get fed up with the whole thing. He has this feeling like he, Jimin, and Taehyung will have a long conversation after tonight. Mostly consisting of Yoongi being, yet again, exhausted with the situation. And then Jimin will pat him on the back, despite finding amusement in Yoongi’s situation.

Or, Yoongi thinks, he could come up with a reason to get out of these dinners entirely. To make his parents give up on trying to set him up.

Yoongi isn’t actually entirely sure what possesses him to do it, but he stands as Taehyung is walking past their table- halfway through dinner that night- and grabs his arm. Taehyung looks briefly surprised, before Yoongi turns back to the table, without letting go. Yoongi’s parents and ‘date’ are staring, questioning expressions on their faces. And Yoongi, without thinking, speaks the words he hopes will end this entire thing. How wrong he is.

“Mom… I’m gay, this is Taehyung, and we’ve been dating for three months.” Yoongi breathes a sigh, closing his eyes and waiting for her- or his father’s- response. There’s very little truth to the statement. In fact, only one thing in it is true. Taehyung is, well, Taehyung, but they aren’t dating and Yoongi isn’t gay. Saying so was just easier in this situation than saying he was bi.

“Oh.” His mother’s surprise is evident when Yoongi opens his eyes, and nobody seems to know what to do.

Taehyung is the first to move, and Yoongi really wishes it had been Jimin instead as soon as he does. Taehyung leans against Yoongi, free hand on his chest, looking like he’s just discovered sunshine.

“I thought this day would never come.” Yoongi internally groans, but doesn’t last long. Taehyung grabs Yoongi’s face and Yoongi has approximately a tenth of a second to realize what’s happening before Taehyung is- far too enthusiastically- kissing him. He can’t exactly act like this is strange, since he just said they were dating, and tries to control his expression. When they break apart, he begins contemplating life while Taehyung turns to Yoongi’s family. Somewhere in the corner of his vision, Yoongi can see Jimin trying not to laugh and filming the whole thing. He’ll deal with that later.

“Well, this is a surprise.” Yoongi’s mother says, clearly in shock.

“I really didn’t think this would happen.” Taehyung breathes a relieved sigh, griping Yoongi’s hand. “He was really worried about what you would think, so we kept it a secret until now. He really values your opinions.”

“Oh, Yoongi, you know we wouldn’t- that we don’t- mind!”

“Y-yeah,” Yoongi manages.

“Well, we haven’t been dating long. We only even met last December.” Taehyung smiles, leaning more against a frozen Yoongi. “It was a sunny day-”

“In December?” Yoongi’s abandoned date asks, eyebrow raised.

“Well, I guess it technically wasn’t sunny, but it felt like it. After all, he lit up my world.” Yoongi internally screams, wishing Taehyung would shut up. It’s helping, sure, but he’s embarrassed enough as it is. Not to even mention all the people staring. “Of course he told me to keep it quiet, at first, because he holds you in such high regards. And how could I say no, when he was so worried? He even made sure all the dates were here, so I wouldn’t worry. I wouldn’t, anyway, because I trust him, but it was really sweet of him, don’t you think? Oh but… it was a bit hard to watch all of them, you know? I guess he just coudn’t stand this either, while I was right there.”

“Yeah that… that about sums it up.” Yoongi nods, gripping Taehyung’s hand tighter. To his credit, Taehyung manages not to react to Yoongi’s attempts to break his hand.

Yoongi, once away from the situation, takes to screaming externally. Hoseok- his good friend- laughs from where he sits on the ground of the dance studio they’re in. Yoongi had gone to visit him- the rest of their friends all joining- upon processing exactly what he’d done. As it turns out, he already knew. Jimin already sent the video of the whole thing to their entire friend group.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Yoongi sighs, laying on the ground. Hoseok, to his credit, pats his shoulders and attempt to stifle his laughter. The others are less supportive.

“You’re fucked,” Namjoon says, simply. When Yoongi glares, he shrugs. “Do you even remember any of the story Tae told?”

“...No.” Yoongi glances over at the man himself, who shrugs.

“We met on a sunny May day?”

“December,” Jimin corrects, shaking his head.

“Well shit.” Yoongi sighs.

“This is going to be a disaster,” Seokjin adds, looking over Hoseok’s shoulder. The other is in the process of saving the video of the incident to every possible place. Yoongi doesn’t have the energy to stop him. “And I’m going to watch this video every day for the the next year.”

“Same.” Hoseok knocks shoulders with Seokjin, while Yoongi groans.

“You have anything to add, Jungkook?” Jimin asks, looking to the only of them yet to speak. Instead of responding verbally, Jungkook makes a face that immediately gets laughter in response. And imitation of the surprised expression on Yoongi’s face right before Taehyung went for the kiss.

“I’m murdering Jungkook.” Yoongi sits up, and Jungkook laughs, jumping to his feet.

“But you light up my world!”

“Definitely killing him.”

In the end, his friends aren’t even 5% helpful. The only one at all useful is Jimin, who remembers the facts of Taehyung and Yoongi’s fake relationship far better than either of them do.

It isn’t obvious at first, that this will lead into the ‘shit show’ state of life Yoongi is headed towards. In fact, it works out fine at first. Yoongi gets out of any more blind dates, and all his mother ever requires as an excuse for other events is that he has dates with Taehyung. Taehyung, for his part, insists on taking a bunch of pictures- in different places and with different clothes- so Yoongi has ‘proof’ whenever he needs it. Jimin, their savior, helps them keep track of their story and, in turn, Yoongi continues to bring his parents the the restaurant he works at, while Jimin is working, to make sure Jimin gets more tips. It isn’t much, and Jimin still complains about the whole thing, but it's something.

“How did I get roped into this?”

“If I have to suffer, so do you,” Yoongi says one day, hours before he and Taehyung are supposed to go to said restaurant with Yoongi’s parents. Jimin is, once again, going to be there for support- it’s much easier this way, than the time where they have to discretely text him during conversations- but isn’t happy about it.

“What about Tae? He’s not suffering.”

“Oh he is.” Yoongi nods, mostly to himself. “I mean he is trying to play a role without remembering literally anything.”

“Ah,” Jimin nods, “yeah. He’s probably almost stressed as me.”

“We’re all stressed.”

“Your fault.”

It really doesn’t seem like it’s leading into a downward spiral, at first. But over the next few months, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep their story straight, even with Jimin’s help. All three of them are beyond stressed about getting caught. Which lead’s Yoongi’s no good, awful, traitor of a brain to think that his next idea is a good one. To further deepen the plot of nonsense that they’ve created, by adding a cheating story line.

Yoongi would like to personally develop cloning technology so that he can fight himself. As is, he can do nothing but accept what he’s doing, when he stands, grabbing Jimin in a manner similar to what he did when Taahyung became his fake boyfriend.

The thought Yoongi had was that he somehow needs to get out of the fake relationship. That he needs some way to keep them from this continued cycle of stress. It just happened that the ‘perfect idea’ that came into his mind first, was this. “I can’t keep this up anymore, Taehyung.”

“What?” Taehyung’s surprise is genuine, which at the very least makes the whole thing more convincing.

“I’m cheating on you with Jimin.”

“So am I!” Taehyung shouts, standing. Yoongi stares, Taehyung looks surprised with himself, Jimin looks ready to die- Yoongi feels that way too- and Yoongi’s parents are horrified. Finally, Yoongi’s mother speaks.

“I knew something was up! That cheater was making eyes at the waiter every time we come here!” She motions to Taehyung and Jimin. Yoongi takes a moment to figure out where that came from- they stare at Jimin in order to confirm their stories, a lot- before clearing his throat.

“But I’m the one cheating…”

“Uh… listen…” Jimin starts, but shrinks under the glares of Yoongi’s parents. Yoongi has only a second to feel bad, before Taehyung breaks down. Taehyung leans over to laugh-cry into his food, shoulders shaking. This entire things is a disaster. Like standing in a train wreck. As if to make things worse, Jungkook is there. At the other end of the restaurant, where he was serving a table- having taken Taehyung’s shifts, when the other started going with Yoongi on ‘dates’ more often- filming this situation. Yoongi just knows this is going to get back to their friends again, and that makes the whole thing all the worse.

Jimin takes a step to be slightly behind Yoongi, hiding from the latter’s family. Yoongi isn’t sure what to do. Even if his plan was dumb, he hadn’t expected Taehyung to somehow make it even worse by making them both into cheaters. One would have been enough!

“I can’t believe this.” Yoongi voices his thoughts, knowing it fits no matter which version of the situation someone is aware of. “I can’t believe you, Taehyung.”

“You’re doing it too!” Taehyung takes a deep, wheezing breath as he stands up straight. His hands come up to wipe tears from his eyes, and Yoongi has the vague thought that he should probably wipe them away. So he reaches over to do that, before realizing what he’s doing and halfheartedly slapping Taehyung.

“This is ridiculous!”

“I just love you both!” Taehyung says, throwing his hands up. Behind Yoongi, Jimin makes a startled noise. “I think we should bre-eeee- be together. All of us.”

Yoongi curses Taehyung for not going with, “I think we should break up,” mentally. Then he stares Taehyung down, incredulous. “What.”

“We clearly all like each other, let’s all date.”

Jimin turns, pressing his face into his hands, and muffles a scream. Yoongi stares for one second, then two, before dropping to his knees and slams his face into the table. “Jesus Christ.”

Their savior this time comes in the form of Jungkook, who informs them all that they’re disturbing the other customers, and asks them to leave. Yoongi’s parents, once they’re outside, immediately turn to Yoongi, silently wondering what to do about this situation, and Yoongi just shakes his head.

“I- uh- I’ll have to talk to those two about… this. Sorry mom, dad. I didn’t really… I didn’t think this would happen.”

One comforting hug later, Yoongi finds himself in Jimin’s apartment with Taehyung and Jimin.

“Well… now what?”

“Now, apparently, we’re all cheating on each other.” Yoongi breathes a sigh, pressing himself into Jimin’s couch.

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this, too.” Jimin huffs, covering his eyes with his arm. “Honestly.”

“Sorry.”

“And you!” Jimin points at Taehyung. “What the hell?”

“I panicked!”

“Clearly Yoongi was trying to escape this situation, not make it more convoluted.”

“Either I tell them we all broke up, or we become a fake poly relationship.” Yoongi sighs, sitting up. “Honestly at this point it’s up to you, I’m fucked either way.”

“I don’t know,” Taehyung starts, “is it bad this is kinda fun?”

“Tae!” Jimin smacks him, halfheartedly. “You turned me into a home wrecker, you know that?!”

“We could fix the story, so you look better.”

Yoongi watches them, silently, as they share looks. A silent discussion about the situation. They’re his friends, so he’s admittedly too fond of them to be entirely too mad. Taehyung was trying to help, and Jimin hadn’t done anything except be helpful, even though he wasn’t supposed to be involved. Whatever they want to do, he’ll go along with it. Part of him- a terrible, traitorous part- has to admit that, despite it being a disaster, the whole thing was kind of fun.

“I think we should do it.” Taehyung grins.

“Sure, why not.” Jimin shrugs.

They explain the new situation to the others, the next day. They’d already seen Jungkook’s video, so they expected something, but they’re all surprised that they’ve decided to continue the fake relationship.

“How do you fuck up this badly and keep going?” Namjoon shakes his head. Somewhere behind him, Jungkook is having trouble breathing, and is crying, from laughter. Hoseok isn’t much better, either.

Seokjin buries his face in his hands and mutters, “idiots,”’ before sighing. “After all this, you’re really going to keep this going?”

“I’m in too deep to quit now.” Yoongi shrugs.

“You used to be a logical one in this group.”

“Who’s gonna keep track of your nonsense now?” Hoseok asks, when he’s finally done laughing at them. All eyes turn to Jungkook, the only worker of the restaurant left that isn’t part of it, but he shakes his head.

“No.” Jungkook continues this adamant refusal until they give it up.

Their new story goes like this: Taehyung was in a relationship with Jimin first. They were together before Taehyung started dating Yoongi, and it wasn’t until a month into their relationship that Yoongi started cheating on Taehyung, with Jimin. Jimin, for his part, had known Taehyung was in another relationship, because they had an open one, so he thought the same was true for Yoongi. Finding out that he was the other man from their perspectives had been a shock to Jimin.

This is the story they go with, the next time Yoongi has dinner with his parents in that restaurant again.

“Okay, so we said Taehyung started cheating first…” Jimin reviews, before the next time they have to see them. They were already weary enough of Jimin and Taehyung, without them getting information wrong.

“Really, wasn’t it Yoongi?” Jungkook offers, from his spot a few feet away. He’s not supposed to be part of the conversation, and they all know better than to trust him- he’s a chaotic force, truly- so they ignore him.

“Anyway, Tae started cheating first,” Jimin repeats. “He was with me before he even started dating Yoongi, Jungkook.”

“If you say so.” Jungkook shrugs. “That really doesn’t put any of you in a good light.”

“There isn’t a good light in this situation.” Yoongi glares.

“Not even the truth would make us look good at this point.” Taehyung pouts. “We have to be bad people.”

“Hey, you wanted to keep this up. You don’t get to pout about it.” Yoongi pokes Taehyung’s cheek, and the other’s pout deepens. Jimin laughs, pinching Taehyung’s other cheek.

“It’s okay, we know you’re not bad.”

“But my boyfriends parent’s don’t.”

“Yeah, but they’re the parent’s of a cheater, anyway. You can’t even trust your boyfriend.” Jimin shrugs. “So what does it matter?”

“Good point. Yoongi is the one who cheated on me, his parents shouldn’t judge me."

“You cheated on me first.” Yoongi kicks at Taehyung’s legs, and the other makes a show of pretending to be hurt. “I can’t believe you, making me into your mistress and then pretending like I’m the bad guy. How could you treat Jimin like this?”

“I know I started this but…” Jimin glances at Jungkook, looking for solidarity.

“...You guys remember this isn’t real, right?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at them. From next to him, Seokjin shakes his head at the group.

“Shut up!” Yoongi and Taehyung, in a rare moment of unity, shout.

This time Yoongi brings both Jimin and Taehyung, and they sit at a table further to the back of the restaurant. Jungkook, despite not agreeing to help them any, is their waiter, and that gives them a small relief, knowing Jungkook is aware of everything.

“So…” Yoongi’s mother starts, frowning at the groups, “you’ve decided to go along with… this.”

“Well…” Yoongi glances shortly at the other two, before staring down at the table, unable to face his mother. “There’s a reason I was with Taehyung to start with, and why Jimin was- why I was doing what I was. I mean… we all agree we were all acting terribly, but at the end of the day we all care about each other.”

“So we’re going to make this work.” Taehyung adds, when Yoongi quiets. Jimin, on Yoongi’s other side, nods.

“At least we know to be more open with each other from now on!”

As time passes, they fall into their roles more easily. At some point, they start spending more time together- just the three of them- even when it isn’t necessary. Lunches, coffee, movies, ect. They all end up doing these things together, even when it doesn’t effect the perception of their fake relationship. After all, if they act like they’re dating enough, it’ll be easy enough to hide the truth.

That’s the theory, at least.

“Hey, guys,” Hoseok greets them when they all file into his studio, after his last class for the day. Jimin and Taehyung greet him in return, enthusiastically, and Yoongi gives him a hug. “How’s the fake relationship going?”

“The what?” Taehyung glances over, confused for a second. “Oh, right, it’s fake.”

“How- how do you forget that?!” Hoseok glances at Jimin, who just shrugs. Then he turns to Yoongi, likely hoping for him to have the same reaction as Hoseok himself. Instead, Yoongi just shrugs as well. “What is wrong with you three?”

“At this point if we didn’t believe it we’d just ruin the whole thing.”

“That- I don’t-” Hoseok stops, looking up at the arrival of Seokjin. “Please, talks some sense into the kids.”

“What did they do this time?” Seokjin asks, at the same times as Yoongi mutters about being older than Hoseok.

“They just said that if they didn’t believe it, they’d ruin their fake relationship.”

“Okay, hold on.” Seokjin sighs, rubbing his temple. “Is the relationship real or not?”

Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi all share a look, before Yoongi shrugs. Taehyung copies him, and Seokjin gives another sigh. Finally, Jimin answers, “I think it might actually be real at this point.”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe the three of you.”

“Neither can we,” Yoongi offers. Taehyung, beside him, just laughs.

Before he knows it, the shit-show that is Min Yoongi’s life has taken a turn from completely ridiculous to manageable. Some part of him still isn’t entirely sure how he ended up in a polygamous relationship with two of his friends. That same part, also isn’t entirely sure when fake turned into real. It wasn’t like much had actually changed, between them. Just, somewhere along the line, Yoongi had realized that he actually enjoyed their dates for being dates. Enjoyed the most real parts of their fake relationship, and ended up falling for the false idea himself. Then, somewhere along the way, the same happened to the other two, and none of them did anything to stop it.

Before he knows it, it’s been a year since he announced to his parents that he was dating Taehyung, in an attempt to escape blind dates.

“Hey, I guess it’s our anniversary.” Yoongi hums. Beside him- sideways, with his legs thrown over Yoongi’s- Jimin frowns.

“Actually…”

“What?”

“I mean, you did say you were dating Taehyung for three months at that point, so you’ve already far missed it.”

“Wait-” Taehyung interrupts, leaning against Yoongi and looking at Jimin- “do we celebrate our actual anniversary, or when we told Yoongi’s mom?”

“Actually, are we talking your and Taehyungs,” Jimin motions between Yoongi and Taehyung, “yours with me, mine with Taehyung, or the day all three of us decided to date? And then when did the fake stop being part of it?” There’s a significant pause, where they all consider it.

“How about… we just celebrate on new years?” Taehyung offers.

“Yeah, fuck it.” Yoongi nods.

“Good with me.”

Years later, Yoongi would like to think he could streamline the story. Remove all the entirely embarrassing and unnecessarily nonsense that came along with the whole situation. Unfortunately, Yoongi’s boyfriends aren’t so willing to let him forget the situation. Though he doesn’t think Taehyung has any right to act like he wasn’t the biggest part of the nonsense.

“Hey guys, remember when I was so great that both of you cheated on each other with me?” Jimin asks, one day, while they’re sitting on Yoongi’s couch watching a movie. Currently the main couple is arguing over one of them cheating.

“Pretty sure Taehyung was the one cheating on you with me.”

“I’m pretty sure Yoongi is the only one anyone cheated with, actually,” Taehyung adds, frowning.

“No, wait, I was cheating on you with Jimin, too, remember?’

Somewhere to the side, Seokjin sighs. The rest of their friends having been ignored until that moment. “You guys know that wasn’t real, right?”

“At this point I’m not sure they do,” Jungkook adds. Taehyung throws some pieces of popcorn at Jungkook, for that, and Yoongi gives a shout about having to clean that up later.

“Anyway, in the end you both chose me, so who’s the real winner here?” Taehyung turns back to Jimin and Yoongi.

“Pretty sure that isn’t how this works at all.” Yoongi shakes his head.

“But really, what is ‘real’ in this world?” Namjoon hums, considering it. “At what point did fake and real switch?”

“If you don’t stop your twenty-three year old midlife crisis you’re gonna find out how real my hands are. When I hit you. It’s a threat.” Seokjin raises one of his hands, but Namjoon seems unperturbed.

It started, like most things, very simply. The downward spiral of Yoongi’s life from ‘normal’ to ‘absolute shit show’ and then into ‘a worthwhile disaster’ was neither slow, nor something he saw coming. But it might have been worth it, in the end.

“But remember Taehyung shouting, “so am I,” when Yoongi said he was cheating on him?” Jungkook asks, grinning.

“Iconic.” Jimin nods, laughing.

“I panicked!”

“Relatable.” Yoongi grins when Taehyung pouts again. “Don’t pout you know we’re just kidding.”

#yoonmin #taegi #vmin #suga centric #friendship #romance #humor #fake dating au #general au #pg rating #cursing #oneshot #completed #marylynnwrites

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 7 years

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cries at AU 2 because imagine daejae with youngjae as the demon and daehyun's just like 'take me' 'wait what'

“My best friend turned out to be a demon here to steal my soul and I’m weirdly okay with that” au

When you’re best friends with someone for a good four years, you start to think you know a person. Even if Youngjae had never really intended to be Daehyun’s friend for so long- he was surprisingly difficult to get to accidentally sign over his soul- he still thought he’d come to know the human fairly well.

Which is why, when it’s revealed that Youngjae is a demon, Daehyun’s response is really shocking.

“Oh, okay, go ahead then.”

“I- you just found out you sold me your soul, at least be a little scared!”

“No it’s okay, you can have it. Take me.”

“What?! Don’t fucking say it like that!” Youngjae huffs a sigh. “Just for that, I’m not going to!”

“But… Youngjae isn’t that why you said you were here in the first place?”

“No, fuck you!”

“Just take my soul man.”

“You want this way more than you should.”

��If I don’t have a soul I can’t go to class.”

“Jesus- Daehyun what the fuck-” Youngjae cuts himself off with a sigh, shaking his head. “No way, you keep your filthy soul, I don’t want it anymore.”

“What about my soul is filthy?!”

“You literally just used the words take me in the context of me- let me reiterate once again- taking your soul. I don’t have to see it to know it’s filthy.”

“You think you woulda figure that out sooner.”

“I can’t believe you’re my friend.”

“Wait I thought you just said that was all fake?”

Youngjae huff a sigh, unwilling to admit he might have gotten a bit attached. “Yeah, well, now I just feel bad for you.”

“I’ll take it.”

#daejae #completed #humor #(probably idk)/#marylynnwrites #drabble #paranormal au #cursing

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 7 years

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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: EXO (Band) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Kim Joonmyun | Suho, Byun Baekhyun, Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Jongdae | Chen, Oh Sehun, Do Kyungsoo | D.O Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Realizations, messy realities, Illusions, fake realities, Violence, Nothing serious, mentioned character death (past), the former members are alluded to by not named, Alternate Universe - Aliens, Memories Summary:

They were kids, when it started. Before they were asleep, and before they forgot.

They’re awake. Something is wrong. Something is wrong, but they’re awake this time. And they aren’t kids, this time.

I’ve decided to forgo making a tumblr version of this for the moment, so here’s a link, for now.

also this is the fic i said i’ve been working on since 2016

#all of exo #all of current exo #pg rating #other au #mama powers au #marylynnwrites

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 7 years

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Hunters, Lies, And Leaders (31)

Hunters, Lies, And Leaders (by iamashamedofmyfanfics)

Notes: . If you’d rather read the whole thing there, the AO3 Version is {here}.

To the west- slightly less west than Soonyoung’s team- outside of the kingdom, and outside of their school, the final team was dropped off for their first hunt. A large, pink, cat-like creature with a scaly tail. This happened a few days ago, now, and the team is beginning to believe, maybe, that they missed something. Seungcheol tries to assure them that, in all likelihood, it was taking the other teams just as long to find the monster they were sent to hunt. His reassurance hasn’t done much, however, to make them less frustrated.

As is, the only hint they’ve got is that it’s most likely north of where they were dropped off. But they’ve been heading north for a while, now, without much luck. At this rate, they’ll reach the beach- and in turn, the ocean- without any signs of it. They’ve caught glances at evidence of monsters, in general, but based on the information they were given, they have to assume everything they’ve found hasn’t been related to the one they were sent after. Thus, they readjusted their course, to avoid other monsters.

So, when they hear the sound of something running at them, none of them are really prepared for it. And, when something jumps at them, swinging claws, they’re slow to react. Wonwoo- the closest- nearly doesn’t get out of the way, only managing to because Hansol reacts a split second faster, grabbing him. They both end up on the ground, under the gaze of the growling monster that fits the description of their target. It’s growling isn’t normal. Sounds off, like it isn’t trying to make sound, so much as it just is.

“Are you both okay?!” Mingyu yells, the furthest from them.

“Yeah!” Hansol calls back, stumbling back to his feet. The monster, clearly not waiting on them to come up with a plan, swipes at him again. It’s paw is hit away, by Seungcheol- using his weapon- as Wonwoo jump back to his feet.

“What now?”

The monster moves to strike again, but this time everyone is able to move away. It rears back, front lowering, like it’s going to pounce. “Run north!” Seungcheol’s shout has everyone immediately moving.

The monster jumps at the nearest person- now Seungcheol- but misses as everyone starts moving. It slides to a stop, spinning around, and moves to jump at him again. Seungcheol jumps right, to avoid it, and tumbles to the ground. The monster wastes no time swiping at him- as he’s now in range- and Seungcheol focuses his Aura all into his arms, holding them up to block the strike. Because his Aura is a Strengthening type, he’s mostly thrown back by it. Though there are scratches, his Aura protected him from most of the damage, so their shallow wounds, quickly scabbing over.

A gunshot rings out, drawing the monster’s- and Seungcheol’s- attention to Wonwoo, who’d fired. As soon as the monster turns to him, Wonwoo turns to run, knowing he, more than the others, needs to keep his distance. While he does that, Hansol rushes over to help Seungcheol to his feet.

“Sorry- you’re- we know you’re the leader, but we have a plan.”

“What’s that?” Seungcheol picks his glaive- discarded when he fell over- and faces Hansol.

“Well we figured you said to go north because we should be close to the water- and that would help Mingyu- so…”

They lure the monster north, to the beach. The clear, sunny, weather would leave the place peaceful, had it not been for the monster. As is, it’s hectic. They discovered, in Mingyu’s training, that his Aura doesn’t produce water, so much as it collects it from the air. Or, if there’s a large source of it, that. They hadn’t been able to make his use of it any more dangerous, really, but Mingyu has gained more control. Something which they want to take advantage of.

Wonwoo can’t get too close, especially since he is without his Aura. Not to mention, his weapon is a ranged one. So after getting the monster’s attention away from Seungcheol, he immediately ran, and let Mingyu gain it’s attention. Then he kept running, finding his way to the beach, and then heading east. Because it’s an open area, with nowhere to hide, he needs to put distance between himself and where the monster will end up.

After explaining the plan to Seungcheol, Hansol take’s Mingyu’s place in leading the monster. He doesn’t need to hit it, so much as just get in the way while letting Mingyu leave its sight. Once he has its attention, Hansol runs north-west.

Seungcheol, on the other hand, follows Mingyu straight north.

The monster slides, scrambling limbs to not go too far past Hansol, who narrowly avoided being hit, again. As it moves, sand flying around it, to pounce again, an arrow hits it in the side. It’s skin rips around where the arrow strikes, and Mingyu silently cheers for taking a note from Seungkwan and using wind crystals. It spins, immediately rushing towards him, now ignoring Hansol. Which is fine, and exactly what they’d hoped.

Everything relies on Mingyu’s ability to control his own Aura. It’s a risk, and they know that. There’s every chance for this to go wrong, but that’s true no matter the plan, when on a hunt. The monster jump, claws coming down and Mingyu, and he panics. Falls back, narrowly avoiding the strike, and water splashes up around him from both the monster and his own action. He stares up at the monster, as it raises it’s paw up.

“Mingyu!” Seungcheol yells. Then a gunshot rings out, and Wonwoo yells something, but Mingyu can’t make it out.

Instead he focuses around him, and on his own Aura. Pictures what he wants to happen, and watches the water around him rise, wrapping around the monster. It struggles, and Mingyu feels tired, sluggish, the second the water has stopped moving. The second it’s held in place.

There’s a pattern of gunshot, silence, gunshot until Wonwoo is out of bullets, and the monster’s teal waves of energy cover it’s entire middle body. When the gunshot’s stop, Mingyu finds himself being lifted up by Hansol, and watches in the corner of his vision as Seungcheol moves forward. Today’s the first time he’s actually seen the other use his weapon, he realizes, as Seungcheol attacks. Once Mingyu is back on his feet- and Hansol shoves his bow back into his hand, even though MIngyu hadn’t realized he dropped it- Hansol joins in Seungcheol’s efforts. Briefly Mingyu thinks Hansol looks tired, and wonders if he’s using his Aura, too.

“Okay!” Wonwoo calls out, and the other two back away immediately. Mingyu can’t move too far- at least not without letting go of his Aura- so he stays put and trusts that Wonwoo wont hit him. Another entire clip is used, and the monster’s struggling becomes less. Mingyu is thankful for this, because he can’t hold his Aura up anymore. The water drops, splashing around him and pushing his weak form back, and the monster hits the ground.

Then Seungcheol strikes once more, and the monster turns to dust in front of them.

It’s sort of disappointing, in a weird way, that their plan worked so well.

Everyone gathers, silently reviewing their own states. Mingyu can’t make himself stand, any more, sitting on the sandy ground, leaning against Wonwoo’s legs. Hansol looks tired, too, but manages to stay up. Seungcheol’s arms sting, but he’s otherwise okay, and Wonwoo is the most alright of them all.

“That was… surprisingly easy,” Hansol says, glancing around the group. He get’s nods in response, and Seungcheol hesitates to speak what he’s thinking. They were lucky. Where they were, and Mingyu’s Aura, were lucky advantages they had. Seeing their states, and knowing how dangerous monsters are, he has no doubts this wouldn’t have gone nearly so well otherwise.

“We were lucky.” At his words, another round of nods, these more disappointed, go around. He wants to tells them that this doesn’t discredit their efforts, or their skills, but is beaten to it by Mingyu.

“Lucky, but we still did pretty well, right? I mean, me and Hansol must have improved a lot, using our Aura’s, for this to work. And Wonwoo set up a shot way quicker than during out last hunt.”

“Yeah…” Seungcheol is surprised. Because this is Mingyu, saying this. Mingyu, who usually has so many doubts about his own improvement. Everyone echos agreement with him, and move onto further conversation on the topic, but Seungcheol is left thinking.

He’s proud of Mingyu, for that. Proud of all of them, really. Yet, part of him wishes he had been the one to tell them that. Part of him wonders if he, as a leader, is doing a good job if they don’t seem to need his words.

“Anyway, we should head back,” He finally says, halting their conversation. “Well, maybe we need a break first.”

They’re on their way back, a few hours later. Nearly two hours after that, as they must be nearing where they started- going straight there, instead of following the roundabout way they originally got so far north- something draws their attention. Even though the cover of trees, they can see the shooting, yellow smoke reaching into the skies. It’s not a monster, either, the sound that comes with it and the straightness of the trail say as much.

“What is that?” Wonwoo asks. Seungcheol knows, though, and worry fills his mind.

“A smoke signal.”

“Yeah, but why?” Hansol’s question has all eyes turning to their leader, since he seems to have some idea.

“I honestly can’t believe we didn’t cover this with you. We should have- no, that’s not important right now. There are four types of smoke signals used by professional hunters, but we don’t- because we’re already outside of the kingdom right now there’s no point in us having them with us. So that had to come from one of the vans the teams were brought in, and…”

“And?” Wonwoo’s stresses the word.

“Yellow means that there’s a large monster, and at least one person is injured. Something must have gone wrong for someone, and they need help.”

“So let’s go!” Hansol moves to take a step, only for Seungcheol to grab him.

“We can’t just rush over there without any plan, especially since we aren’t ready to face a larger monster.”

“Then what?”

“We get our professor and- well- rather, we assume he might not have seen it, and head in his direction…” Seungcheol is unsure of this plan. He doesn’t like the idea of leaving whoever it is to whatever threat they signaled about, but he has to think of this logically. They’re not in the condition to fight another fight so soon.

“But what if…”

“No, actually, we wont do that.”

“What?” It’s Mingyu who asks, and his confusion is echoed on the others faces.

“Wonwoo, go get our professor, since you don’t have your Aura, bringing you towards a larger monster knowingly would be reckless. Mingyu, you go with him. You’re far too exhausted to fight.” Seungcheol nods at the two of them. Planing has never been something he was the best at, but he was good enough at it to make it thus far. “Hansol, let’s head that way immediately. It’ll take us a while to get there and by then, at the very least, we should have our Aura’s back at one hundred percent.”

There’s a clear hesitation that settles over the group, and for a second he thinks they might not listen to him. But, then, Hansol nods, and Mingyu and Wonwoo echo agreement before running off in the direction of their professor.

“Hansol.”

“Yeah?”

“Just… this is going to be way more dangerous, so don’t rush in when we reach them.”

“Okay.”

They set off in a run towards the smoke signal.

#s.coups centric #woozi centric #hoshi centric #friendship #all of seventeen #fantasy #other au #chaptered #pg13 rating #violence #marylynnwrites #ongoing

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iamashamedofmyfanfics · 7 years

Text

Less Than Expected [7]

Less Than Expected (by iamashamedofmyfanfics)

Notes: it’s been six months but this story is back.

{ao3 version}

Summary: Changkyun was supposed to be recovering from midterms, not being robbed, stabbed, and then turned into a vampire. Yet that’s what happened. Luckily the vampires aren’t half bad company.

In a rare turn of events, the semi-newly turned vampire known as Changkyun ends up in someone else’s apartment for once. Rather than bursting his way into Kihyun and Changkyun’s shared home, Minhyuk ‘invites’ the latter over. Invite meaning once again practically kidnapping Changkyun from his home, and once again Kihyun not helping Changkyun at all. And for dinner of all things, with both Minhyuk and Hyunwoo. It’s not hard to guess this is a way to get Hyunwoo to spend more time with Changkyun, being that they’ve only really met once- aside from one time when they saw each other briefly- although the reason why Minhyuk feels like this is necessary s beyond Changkyun.

What isn’t beyond him, is that the dinner is a good chance to ask more about their pasts. As well as to find out that Minhyuk apparently can no longer stand rice of all things. Being a vampire must be difficult for him, Changkyun thinks, when Minhyuk dumps his serving of rice over onto Hyunwoo’s dishes.

“So…” Changkyun starts, not really sure where he’s going with his question. It’s not as if he can just go, ‘hey tell me all the fucked up details of your past,’ or something. Well, he could, but he’s not going to.

“So?” Minhyuk turns away from his task of trading foods with Hyunwoo, to raise an eyebrow at Changkyun.

“How’d you two… become vampires?”

“I thought my past was already spoiled for you?”

“I mean- I know you were sick? And then the former source blood of your- I mean our- bloodline turned you?”

“Well when you put it that way, it sounds boring.”

“Wasn’t it?” Hyunwoo asks, glancing at Minhyuk in his prereferral vision.

“Not when I tell it.”

“Doesn’t that just mean you exaggerate?”

“I would never!”

“So, yes.” Minhyuk turns to glare at Changkyun for that, before sitting back in his seat and crossing his arms.

“Now I definitely wont tell you!”

“That’s okay, I’ll just ask Kihyun for an extended version of his explanation.”

“Rude.” Minhyuk shakes his head, sitting forward. “Fine, if you really want to know…”

“Not really.”

“Nevermind, you’re dead to me.”

“Wait, before you mentioned near death by failed robbery on your end, so what was that?”

“Oh that was after I became a vampire.”

“Why?”

“Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Changkyun pauses, not really sure what to say to that. “Okay... so… Hyunwoo, then.”

“I got kicked in the face by a horse.”

“I- I’m sorry, what?!” Changkyun’s surprise is matched only by Minhyuk’s laughter.

“I didn’t know the owner was a vampire until they turned me so they wouldn’t be responsible for me dying.”

“From… being kicked by a horse.”

“Yeah.”

“I really expected something cooler, if I’m honest.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“I can’t believe both of you had such… normal deaths.”

“You were stabbed, in a robbery. Isn’t that a ‘normal death?’” Minhyuk leans against the table, head resting on his hand. His expression could best be described at an attempt at looking judgemental.

“Yeah, but I figured I was the outlier.”

How to: tell your human friends you’re in a relationship when that relationship is with not only one, but two, vampires. A guide by Changkyun.

Step 1: Don’t.

At least that was the plan. Until Jongyeon had to bring up the incident in which Changkyun ran from his own apartment months earlier, to avoid explaining to Hoseok and Kihyun why he was standing there, staring at them. It was an incident which he covered with partial lies, and one that Changkyun really didn’t expect the other to remember Changkyun talking to him about.

So the, “hey, what ever happened with you suffering because of your roommate,” startles him.

And maybe, “oh yeah that happened before we started dating, didn’t it,” wasn’t the best response in the world. To be fair, he hadn’t actually meant to say it out loud, but that doesn’t make any less a problem. Especially when all of his human friends- at least in his most recent friend group- are around.

Maybe deciding to continue hanging around his human friends was a mistake. But how was he supposed to expect a simple lunch to go so wrong?

“You what.” It’s less a question, and more of a surprised statement. From beside Jongyeon, Byunghwa gives a startled laugh. Beside him- around the corner of the table- Jeongwook leans forward, expression questioning.

“Oh my god.” Changkyun sighs.

“Jeeze, Changkyun, it’s almost like you don’t tell us anything anymore.” Taehyuk looks far more amused than he has any right to.

“I just didn’t think about it.” That’s a lie, and they probably know it’s one, but he’s not about to admit to hiding stuff from them. If he does, then he’ll have to admit to hiding other things- at the very least, it’ll be harder not to- and he can’t exactly tell them about the whole vampire thing.

“Yeah, sure.”

“But you’re dating someone, and didn’t think to tell any of us?” Byunghwa asks.

“Well- I mean- two people. But- uh- yeah, basically.”

“Two?!”

Step 1: failed.

At least he can say his human friends are still a part of his life, he guesses.

An essay, on any topic one wants, is not something that you would usually expect to lead to revelations about people you know. At least not while you're doing research on the history of a company and find out it’s CEO was murdered around the same time as someone you know was turned into a vampire. It could be a coincidence, at least, but then Changkyun does a little more looking- because he’s invested now- and low and behold, it’s Hyungwon’s name that comes up.

“Well, that seems familiar.”

One would also think that being a vampire would make you more aware of your surroundings. As it is, Changkyun jumps up, startled, and turns to face Hyungwon.

“Can you just once warn someone before you break into their house?”

“It’s not breaking in if I have an open invitation.”

“Do you?”

“Well I haven’t been told to stop yet.” Hyungwon shrugs, making his way to the kitchen as usual. “What were you looking that up for?’

“I was researching the company for an essay. Didn’t realize it was… well, that.”

“I really wish it wasn’t that easy to look up, honestly.” Hyungwon turns around, frowning. “Why and when did your fridge get so empty?”

“Well someone keeps stealing our food. And Kihyun’s been stress cooking more, because we’re nearing the end of the year. If you were like-” Changkyun glances at the time- “two hours earlier you would have been around to stop him from dumping a ton of it out.”

“What a waste.” Hyungwon sighs, dropping down into the seat across from Changkyun. “Do you at least have some suffering to amuse me with?”

“I accidentally told my human friends I was in a relationship.” Changkyun shrugs. “That’s all I’ve got.”

“You used to be less boring.”

“You used to be nicer.”

“That’s a lie. You take that back.”

It occurs to Changkyun, while he’s supposed to be working on a project- which he’s very much not working on- that he knows the reason for almost everyone being turned. Aside from Hoseok who wasn’t and Jooheon. He even knows why Gunhee was turned, and he was the last person Changkyun met.

“Why I was turned?”

“Yeah. I know the reason for everyone else, at this point.”

“I had a vampire for a neighbor, and he decided to save my life, I guess.”

“Save your life?”

“Oh yeah, I was robbed, at gunpoint. And then shot. Because, you know, take everything from me and then kill me, that makes sense. Just make me suffer first. Assholes.” There’s a distinct bitterness in Jooheon’s voice that Changkyun understands. “Oh, you know, now that I’m saying it, that’s pretty similar to what happened to you.”

“Yeah, except with shooting instead of stabbing.” Changkyun pauses, frowning. “This- well- this might be a weird question, but do you have scars from the gunshot wounds?”

“Oh yeah. They’d make pretty cool scars if I didn’t have to hide them or risk being found out.”

“Huh.”

“Why?”

“I was just thinking about how I don’t have scars from the post vampire stabbing, but do from the one before it. Even though the wounds didn’t close until after I was turned.”

“Yeah- well- shit. I never thought about that. Weird. Well, about as weird as all vampire shit is.”

“Yeah. Anyway, thanks for telling me.”

“Sure? It isn’t that big a deal, anymore.” Jooheon pauses. “Well, usually.”

To be entirely fair, he did ask for this. That didn’t make the horrifying realization that being a vampire really has made biting people more appealing any less, well, horrifying. Nor did it change his level of embarrassment at having this realization as a direct response to doing just that. To his roommate/significant other. As it is, Changkyun stares wide-eyed at Kihyun, as this realization sets in.

“For someone who literally asked if they could bite me, you sure are freaked out about this.”

“It’s still weird!”

Kihyun laughs at him, running his thumb over Changkyun's cheek, under his eyes. “Maybe the red actually suits you, a bit.”

“A bit.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not as scary looking this time.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“It’s probably less weird looking than entirely black eyes, if that makes you feel better?”

“I don’t know, the scary pitch-black eyes thing sorta suits you.”

“Shut up.”

The end of year approaches with such startling speed, that Changkyun ends up barely seeing anyone else for nearly two straight weeks. Including Kihyun, who’s just as busy preparing for his own finals and projects. All in all, things fall into minor disarray, and it’s no surprise that as soon as everything outside of actual final tests are done, they’d be exhausted. Changkyun himself still has one project- a power point about a historical event of his choosing that relates to his history class- but Kihyun has finished everything that isn’t tests. Which, in theory, should put some amount of normalcy back into their home.

It really doesn’t. Kihyun manages to cook an entire month’s worth of food in a day, in order to avoid studying. Really, if he put that energy into studying, he probably wouldn’t be so stressed, but Changkyun isn’t going to be the one to tell him that. Especially since Kihyun looks like death; exhaustion is clearly catching up with him. Even vampires aren’t safe from the effects of college, it seemed.

Hoseok briefly stops by to pick up food that Kihyun is forcing on him and Hyungwon’s home, because there’s no way for Kihyun and Changkyun to go through it themselves. He wishes them both luck, but seems more amused at their unfortunate states than anything else.

“The evil is spreading.”

It’s really no surprise when Kihyun all-but passes out. Though, Changkyun would have appreciated if the other would have, at least, done so in his own bed.

“You know I sleep there, right?”

“My house, I can sleep where I want.”

“But-” Changkyun sighs, cutting off his own sentence. Instead of giving him any other response, Kihyun reaches out and grabs Changkyun’s arm.

“Suffer with me.”

“I already am.”

“Fine, then sleep with me.”

“Hey, whoa, that’s a bit soon.”

“Shut the fuck your mouth, you know what I mean.”

If you were to ask Changkyun how final exams went, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. He’s not entirely sure he didn’t just sleep-walk through the entire week before and after them. You’d think that someone who’s a vampire- who died- wouldn’t be so negatively affected by a lack of rest, but apparently he is.

He drops onto their couch, that weekended, and stares up at the ceiling wondering how that even works, before deciding it's too much work to think about. Changkyun doesn’t remember falling asleep there, either, but is woken by someone- it turns out to be Hoseok, when he looks up- dropping blood packs on his face.

“Why?”

“You guys look like you died… again.” Hoseok shrugs, motioning to where Kihyun is sat leaning against the kitchen table, barely awake.

“Well,” Changkyun sits up, blood packs falling onto the couch, “feels like it, too.”

“Cheer up, kids, you’re done for now.” Hyungwon’s voice rings out from the kitchen, though Changkyun can’t see him. Instead, he turns to Hoseok and raises an eyebrow in silent question.

“He was worried about you two.”

“I was not.” Hyungwon huffs, entering the room just to put containers down on the table in front of Kihyun. For his part, Kihyun raises a hand in silent greeting, without raising his head. “I just needed to bring these back.”

“With new food in them?”

“Shut up. I figured it’d keep Kihyun from hitting me, or something, for freeloading.”

“I don’t hit people.” Kihyun moves his head just enough to glare at Hyungwon.

“Now that’s just a plain lie.”

“Get out of my house, you noodle man.”

“Ouch, that hurts.”

“Liar.”

“Whatever, I have better things to do than fight with you.” Hyungwon shrugs, shaking his head, before moving to leave. “Hope at least one of you feel better.”

“Which one?”

“Changkyun, obviously. You’re mean.”

“Get out.”

“Well,” Changkyun starts, once Hyungwon has left, “that happened?”

“Why do you sound unsure?” Hoseok looks down at Changkyun, head tilted.

“The past- like- three weeks have been, I’m pretty sure, a fever dream.” Hoseok laughs at that, patting him on the head.

"Sorry it's been so rough."

With everything theoretically already covered when it comes to transferring colleges next year, there isn’t much left of Changkyun to do when the year officially ends. Except for celebrate. It isn’t much a surprise when his human friends invite him with them to do as much, but he once again finds himself hesitating. Though he decided he wanted to try and maintain his relationships with them, it’s hard to ignore the part of his mind that says this is the perfect chance to cut ties with them.

Maybe that’ll save them some pain, years from now when he has to fake his death.

Changkyun sighs, staring down at his phone, disappointed with his own thoughts. Even if that was the case, that isn’t what he wants. He wants to keep being their friend, to maintain some amount of his human life for as long as possible.

So he agrees, and goes to meet up with them to celebrate the end of the school year.

Changkyun decides to make an attempt to walk home on his own, for once. It isn’t like he’ll never need to, and it’s a short walk from where he separates from his human friends, and his apartment. A short walk, even shorter than the one from his- former- college and his old dorm.

It helps that there are a few other people still out, even after dark, this time.

He turns the corner onto the block his apartment complex is on, and passes someone as he does. It takes approximately six seconds for him to process that he recognizes the person he passed. And, when he turns around to look at them, they’re standing there, wide-eyed staring at Changkyun.

He recognizes the man’s face. He should considering that the fact he’s able to is one of the reasons he’d died.

“How-”

“You’re the fucker that stabbed me!”

They run. Changkyun can’t bring himself to follow them, either. Both because he's too shell-shocked, and the twinge of fear that still sits in his chest, knowing that he’d be dead because of that person, had it not been for luck. So he stands there, staring in the direction the man ran, unable to move.

And he continues to stand there, until the only thing he can think about his how screwed up it is that something bad seems to happen every time he goes anywhere by himself after dark. The universe is playing some sick joke on him, and frankly Changkyun doesn’t appreciate it.

He’s only broken from his thoughts, when his phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Changkyun, where are you?” There’s genuine concern in Kihyun’s voice. Not that Changkyun can blame him for being concerned, previous incidents considered.

“Oh, just down the block…”

“Are you… okay?’

“I just saw one of the guys who tried to kill me.”

“Want me to come get you?”

“No, no, I’m okay.”

Changkyun finally moves, turning around to walk home.

“Honestly universe, what the hell?”

There really isn’t much to say about the whole thing. Changkyun isn’t really sure how he feels- except for a small part of him that wishes he’d at least punched the guy, or something- and he doesn’t really feel like dwelling on it. Still, he’s sure it’s clear he’s a bit out of it, come the next day. Which is probably why Kihyun drops into the seat next to him at the table, and takes one of his hands, getting his attention.

“Hey, want to go harass Hoseok at work again?”

“God, no. Not with you. You’re embarrassing.”

“Rude. Also that’s too bad because you’re coming with me anyway.” Kihyun stands, pulling Changkyun up with him, without giving him a chance to argue. Not that Changkyun would have put up much of a fight, anyway.

“I hate both of you!” Hoseok yells, the second he finds them once he leaves work.

“I didn’t want this either.” Changkyun holds up his hands. They both turn to Kihyun, who just winks at Hoseok, causing the other to make an annoyed noise.

“Why do I like you again?”

Kihyun shrugs.

#i.m centric #changki #wonkyun #kiho #friendship #romance #vampire au #pg13 rating #blood and stuff #cursing #death (mentioned)#chaptered #marylynnwrites #ongoing

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