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brokenfoxproductions · 6 months

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youtube

So, Hannah The Horrible on YouTube released this (roughly 45 minutes long) video yesterday on her channel, and the second part actually surprised me because it talked about my former Facebook friend Jeremy Pauley and his arrest for trafficking human body parts.

I now feel comfortable enough to say that, at the time of his arrest, Jeremy and I lived 5 minutes apart in the West Shore area of Cumberland County Pennsylvania. I technically lived right around where Lemoyne meets Enola, I knew where he was and could have walked there from my house, and we saw each other at the Camp Hill Walmart a few times prior to his arrest. Between 12 and 7 years ago, I was working with the staff at Established Ink, which of the time was in Mechanicsburg Pennsylvania down the road from where Jeremy's significant other Meghan works at the Mechanicsburg 717 tattoo. (Established eventually moved to a location owned by my ex stepfather in Carlisle Pennsylvania before going out of business because of the owner of the shop giving my aunt hepatitis during her first tattoo and because the owner and several staff members at established Inc have severe addiction issues that led them to not being able to keep up the shop or to keep up the agreement that they had with my ex stepfather) and at the time I was very familiar with the staff at 717 Mechanicsburg as well as having known Jeremy after being introduced to him on Facebook by Dionna (Colicchio) dal Monte and also by Jester Mayhone, both of whom I was Facebook friends with at the time.

I used to really look up to Jeremy Pauley because he was a very well established and popular body modification artist in our area who did not do tattoos which was exactly what I at the time was hoping to do as a career (piercings and non-tattoo body modification) and he was always really nice to me and never set off any major red flags other than knowing Dionna, who even at the time was actively involved in neo-Nazi movements and had a hand in attempting to traffic me to Europe for the purposes of supposedly marrying one of her Italian friends and possibly becoming an adult actor in Italy.

I think it should be worth noting that I met Jeremy originally whenever I was 16 and I was a young and naive piercing apprentice and at the time I really didn't understand how deep this shit went. I knew that he was into taxidermy and oddities but I assume that everything that he had had been legally obtained, so I regarded him as just another creep in the body modification industry who was generally harmless. He was a creep, but a nice and personable creep, or so I had assumed. I'm really sad to find out since then that I was extremely wrong.

I did make a video a little over a year ago explaining how I came to know him and what my thoughts about the situation were but at this point my general consensus is just that Jeremy Pauley and everyone who was related to him in this circumstance are really creepy and horrible people and I'm really glad that he plead guilty so that he could face consequences for what he's done.

I know that I'm often very critical of people on YouTube who make content about things like this because there's a lot of exploitation involved in the practice of horror YouTube videos and their creation, but I want to give Hannah props for being extremely respectful towards everyone involved in this case. I love her work and I really appreciate her covering this.

#YouTube #video #true crime #true horror #true story #kats creepy creations #Jeremy Pauley #human trafficking #human bones #human organs #human bodies #Pennsylvania #central pennsylvania #hannah the horrible #hannahthehorrible #also sorry if I misspelled Megan or Meghan's name I haven't seen or talked to her in literal years and I don't remember the spelling #body modification #body piercing

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justasparkwritings · 3 years

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Peace: Coming of Age

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Angst / Slice of Life

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Jungkook takes his first steps in creating a life for himself.

Listening: peace by Taylor Swift

Peace Master List

Jungkook paced the room, the grey walls agitating him as he searched for answers. He’d filmed the video five times. Three with a hoodie on, two without. He kept refilming to perfect his vocals, or at least that’s what he told himself. Perfectionism was easier to grapple with than baring his soul to millions. Was he ready to show the world what he’d done?

Jungkook had spent the last third of his life in the spotlight. The articles, photos, videos, all captured him growing up. He went from a fresh-faced tween barely through puberty to a full-fledged man. He had grown in front of their eyes, finished high school, and debuted with a band that had captured the world’s attention. He had been taken under the wings of Jin and his five other hyungs. They had watched him struggle, both academically and professionally. They had guided him through the drastic changes in his life, from leaving his family to relentless dance practices and endless vocal lessons. They guided him when he was falling apart, and through their love he had grown into the man he could happily say he is. He’d taken little parts of their personalities and combined them into his own. It was hard to tell when JK ended and the six hyungs began.

Jungkook hadn’t told the rest of BTS of his plans, of what he wanted to do in order to feel that he had completed his metamorphosis. He was cagey, dodging glances and prying questions. He was private, but there wasn’t anything he couldn’t tell them. Except this. It wasn’t until they had snuck up on him one day and caught him reading an article about the significance of tattoos in western culture that they grew concerned that he would taint his flawless skin.

Hoseok sat him down first, tone damning, asking him what he intended to do, and why would he choose to ruin his body? Through the years Jungkook had become accustomed to Ho-Seok’s aversion to anything that would harm or change his physical form. Dying his hair was the closest thing he would do, and even that felt like he was desecrating a sacred temple. He didn’t pierce his ears, he certainly would not get tattoos, and though he had an unusually sunny disposition, body modification of any kind made Ho-Seok’s skin crawl. He respected his members decisions to pierce their ears, two, three, five times, but him? No thank you. He had thought that tattoos were always going to be off limits, even when years prior Jungkook had expressed his desire, on camera, to stain his skin. No member had committed to something so permanent. Piercings close, hair can be dyed back, but this?

Hoseok couldn’t tell if he was mad at JK for recklessly ruining himself, or worried that his decision would endanger the rest of them.

So, he pled his case, and a day or so later, Namjoon tried to talk any sense into JK. He knew it was no use, but as leader he was mandated to speak to him.

“Why do you want to do this?” Namjoon asked. They were seated outside, beers in both their hands.

“Do you feel like yourself, 100% of the time?” Jungkook countered, glancing at the fading sun.

“90% of the time, yes, I do.” Namjoon responded.

“And you feel comfortable in who you are?”

“Why are you interrogating me?” Namjoon stared at his golden maknae. He had raised this boy, crafted and melded him into the man sitting in front of him. Had it been too much?

“You write most of our lyrics, you express your emotions.”

“Yes, and I understand how you’re feeling,”

“Do you? I am me trying to navigate this life that I somehow signed up for when I was a child. I have had to conform every day of my life. I have struggled to find my identity, to showcase who I am, without ever having the time to grow or discover myself. Now I’m a man, who doesn’t know any life outside of constant cameras and the six of you guarding me. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours, but what if there’s nothing of me? What if they’ve taken it all?”

“You signed up for this Jungkook,” Namjoon felt defensive. His moves, silent and unseen, had pushed Jungkook to this position. His invisible strings had carved him from a child to an adult, his guidance had constructed the golden boy. Namjoon had nurtured Jungkook to be strong in his convictions and fierce at heart. He encouraged his hobbies, to obsession at times, and pared space for him to study and learn, encouraging him to speak English. Didn’t Jungkook know himself better than any members did?

“The devils in the details, Namjoon,” He countered.

“So, what, to feel like yourself you need to permanently decorate your skin?” Namjoon felt the anger rising. Big Hit would surely blame him for this.

“It’s a part of me, a part of me that I am trying to hold onto. I don’t want to hide part of myself because I’m being told I’m supposed to. I want to be me, I want to make choices for myself,” Jungkook’s passion was evident in the grip he had placed on his glass.

“And what if that part of you changes?” Namjoon wanted to know.

“Are you still the same person you were when we started?” Jungkook asked.

“No, I’ve grown, and I’ve learned a lot,” Namjoon sat back and thought about the challenges he’d overcome in the time BTS had been together.

“Then give me the space to do the same, hyung, please,” Jungkook pleaded.

Namjoon nodded, recognizing that molding Jungkook into the perfect band member had done more damage than he realized, the cracks were beginning to form. When Jungkook had joined, RM and Seokjin had been placed as his guardians. They were to protect him, keep him focused, help him grow. He was a child, a baby, compared to the older two. His insecurity and shyness had tried to swallow him, and would’ve if not for the doting care the members had given him. Namjoon had, in a word, overstepped. His grip on Jungkook’s life was impenetrable to the point that sometimes it was hard to know where Namjoon ended and Jungkook began. He wasn’t raising Jungkook, he was manipulating him. The devil had always been in the details, at the hands of Big Hit, that devil was Namjoon.

“Jin’s supposed to try and knock some sense into you…” Namjoon said, standing.

“What’s he going to say that you and Hosoek-hyung haven’t?” Jungkook asked.

“I don’t know, but listen to him,” Namjoon reminded the maknae to respect his elder, something he had thrown away when speaking with Joon.

Namjoon left, leaving JK to sit in his thoughts. He didn’t know when Jin was planning on showing up, and he wasn’t sure he could handle another confrontation and berating. Jungkook was lost in his thoughts, his glass slowly emptying when Jin strode in, keys in hand.

“Let’s go eat,” He said. Jungkook nodded, following him.

As they sat at their usual table, drinks on their way, Jin wasted no time diving in.

“They’ve all been hard on you?” Seokjin asked.

“Yes,” Jungkook responded.

“Well, what do you want me to say?” Jin questioned.

“That you support me,” Jungkook’s gaze never strayed from the empty spot in front of his glass.

“What does management say?” Jin asked, ignoring Jungkook’s suggestion.

“That they can’t technically stop me, but I’ll always be covered. No t-shirts on tour, music videos, anything. If everyone’s in a tank top, I have to be in a tank top with a jacket or long sleeves.”

“Even in summer?” Jin questioned.

“Even then,” Jungkook answered.

“And you’re okay with that?” Jin wondered.

“Yes,”

“Alright, have you thought about ARMY?”

“I can’t imagine they’d be mad at me,” Jungkook said, glancing at Jin. Jin was calm. Jin was always calm, particularly when it came to heady conversations about the direction Jungkook was taking.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Jin left it at that. He quickly moved to ask Jungkook what he wanted to order, their usual banter resuming.

Jungkook sat in the tattoo artists main chair, arm exposed, hand at the ready. The artist asked if he was without a doubt positive he wanted ink decorating his dominate appendage, and he nodded, telling them that each item stood for something. As the artist began, he recounted why.

“The inverted V is for Taehyung, that’s his nickname. He’s funny, and charismatic. The most indecisive person. He is one of the best dancers, and just makes me laugh all the time. He comforts me when I’m upset and is always making sure that I’m okay. RM is for Namjoon, he’s the eternal leader. He’s wise and thinks before he acts. But he’s clumsy. He always pushes me to think deeper, to find the emotion that a song needs, or to remind me to slow down when I’m pushing myself too hard. RM’s our guiding light. M is also for Yoongi, who understands the parts of me that I sometimes think no one does, but he also doesn’t understand the fundamental parts of me… The Y completes ARMY, I am nothing without them.”

The phrase had become common place, BTS is nothing without ARMY. They eat, sleep and breathe ARMY. Who are they if ARMY doesn’t stand beside them, encouraging them on?

ARMY was the reason for his success, but they were also the thorn on his rose. Army watched every move he made, every note he hit, every smile cracked. They’d glommed onto him immediately. Isn’t Jungkook so cute? Did you see how Jungkook dances to Boy in Luv? Have you seen his smile? They cheered when he succeeded and picked him up when he fell. As much as the members had raised JK, he recognized that ARMY was the reason he had to be raised by his hyungs in the first place.

Being raised by people other than your parents is an odd experience. Leaving home and forging a new path without so much as a safety net below would be scary to anyone, but particularly for a child who hadn’t experienced much outside of his home. Jungkook had talent, anyone could see it. He had potential, because he had potential, Big Hit had taken a chance on him. They had molded him and groomed him into a superstar. So much so that by age 23, a song dedicated to him negotiating his stardom with quality of life would become a sexual anthem. Big Hit’s ownership of his existence had sent him into many a tailspin. He compensated the only way he could: working himself to extreme exhaustion and spending nights drunk in the dorms. The other members addressed it delicately, but when his back was turned, they spent countless hours discussing the “problem with Jungkook”.

Perfectionism is often a sign of OCD, a way to control what feels uncontrollable, a way to manage anxiety and stress through precise and repetitive habits. If practice was four hours, Jungkook danced eight. If it took Jimin ten takes to nail an eight count of vocals, Jungkook took twice that. He practiced diligently, sweating through layers and layers, never satisfied until his body gave out. He worked out seven days a week, often hours long sessions not including time with trainers. He was obsessed with his physic and how he could make it stronger. BTS often worried and tried delicately to address their concerns. Jungkook wouldn’t listen, until he blew his heel out an needed stitches. What was meant to be a wake up call ended up giving him more focus and increasing his desire to be perfect.

“Perfect for who?” Suga had asked during an intense discussion of Jungkook’s workaholic tendencies. Jungkook stared at him, Suga, who hates working out, hates other people, and would be content to sleep for days on end, was asking him a stupid question. He turned to Ho-Seok, who nodded.

“Perfect for ARMY, perfect for him,” Ho-Seok had responded.

Hoseok and Jimin both nodded. The three of them formed the dance line, the strongest dancers with Taehyung closing in at #4. Together they banked hundreds of practice hours, innumerable tapings and work ups by the medical team, and were responsible for BTS’ dance routines coming together. They bore the brunt of the work, and their bodies, though young, managed the wear and tear. Ho-Seok worked hard, but Jungkook worked harder.

Namjoon listened to every conversation about Jungkook with ears peeled, writing down any information he needed. If there was a problem with Jungkook, it would soon fall to Namjoon to correct, though his perfectionism had been a drug Namjoon had heavily pushed.

“What’s the J for?” The tattoo artist asked, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts.

“That’s for Jin, Jimin and J-Hope,” He responded, looking down at the work being done on his body.

“They’re your elders?”

“Yes, Namjoon and Seokjin raised me. They’re all my brothers, but Namjoon and Jin helped me study, they encouraged me, bought me food and made sure I was spending enough time on studies and training. Jin drove me everywhere before I could drive myself, and he spent years teaching me how to be a good person, and a good man. Jimin’s a terror, and Ho-Seok is the only one who understands my drive.”

“The plus signs tie you together?”

“Yes,”

“The heart? And the symbol?”

“ARMY will know.”

Jungkook had waited a few days before displaying his ink to BTS. They were skeptical and unsure how they liked what he had done to his right arm. They were honored he had chosen his hand to honor them and concerned what it meant for him going forward.

Jungkook wasn’t ready for the world to see, and neither was management. He spent the first few months with band aids on his hand until his ink was healed, then layers and layers of make-up.

As he paced in the gray room, a cover of Never Not waiting to upload, he decided to honor himself, to honor his heart, and post the video where his tattoos were exposed. Management had said he could share them when he was ready, and it would be at that point that they stopped covering them in make-up, except in specific situations where his ink would be a detriment to the group. He took a deep breath, like his ink, this choice was permanent.

Once the dust of his ink settled, through a few poor choices and copious empty liquor bottles, he found himself out in Echo Park. A stranger had commented on his ink, and Jungkook’s mind wound back to the conversation he’d had with the tattoo artist about them. His tattoos meant something to him, and their meaning intensified every day.

This is why, on a chance encounter in a low-light restaurant in Echo Park, Jungkook had been so taken with yours. The delicate ink on the back of your arm, the art creeping up your calf sent a shock through him. Who were you, and what did these symbols mean? He cautiously went up to you at the bar, nodding at the bartender who asked for his ID immediately. He flushed. Should he abandon ship?

You turned and smiled. It was blinding.

“Hi, I noticed your tattoos,” He said, thankful he had spent the past few years working on his English.

“Oh,” You were unsure how to respond.

“They’re really beautiful,” He said, his cheeks flushing again. Having spent his youth in Big Hits control, flirting wasn’t a game he knew how to play.

“Thank you,” You responded, your cheeks turning rosy.

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asked, right eyebrow raising. You smiled at the quirk.

“Yes, and you can tell me about yours,” You said, already making sense of the ink in front of you, and the man it belonged to.

“I’m Jungkook,” He said, extending the same hand you had been admiring.

“I’m Y/N,” You said, extending yours to shake.

Jungkook swore the earth began to quake at that very second, your skin meeting his for the first time, your smiles blinding the patrons of the restaurant. Everything melted away as the heat from your bodies glued you together. It was in the moment after, when you had unwillingly returned his hand to him that he realized his coming of age had come and gone, he had transitioned into a man, ink and all.

Next: Wasting Your Honor

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shadow-assassin-blix · 3 years

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Be Still, My Heart

PART 1

Marcus Pike X Tattooed/Pierced Reader

A/n: So... this has been in my WIPs for a few months. I’m dedicating this to @pikemoreno cause its her husband, obviously and @flightlessangelwings since this was our Lovechild idea. Both of us are tatted, she wants lots more piercings and it is my lifelong goal to join the FBI and be on the Gang Unit. So this was created. Enjoy!

Taglist: @mikeisthricedeceased

It has been about month since the dreaded break up between up Marcus Pike and Teresa Lisbon. Marcus, who has not yet transferred to D.C., was still having to work in same space as her and Patrick Jane. And it killed him.

He hated seeing them together. True, he understood that maybe he moved too fast, and that she clearly wasn’t over her feelings for Jane, but it left a bitter seed inside him.

‘Why wasn’t I enough?’

He tried his best not to ruminate on the thoughts, feelings, or memories that would barrage his brain all hours through the day. He tended to run through the motions. His team could tell. His team noticed he was quieter, that he smiled less. There was nothing they could. How does a person help heal a broken heart?

It was about midday when he was informed that he was getting a transfer teammate. They were coming in from the gang unit. So, he got the desk that sat opposite his ready for them.

He was deep into reading a file, vaguely aware that the elevator dinged, when a voice cleared their throat.

He looked up and was surprised by the sight he saw. It was a woman, dressed in pencil skirt and a silk blouse, that fitted her perfectly. She had tattoos up and down her arms, and he could see some on her legs. She had multiple piercings in her ears, and one in her lower lip.

Upon first sight, he expected someone who was going to be gruff and rude but was pleasantly surprised when he heard her speak.

“Hi. Agent Pike? My name is Steel,” Her voice was soft and dainty sounding.

“Steel?” He asked, slightly confused because that was not the name he was given.

She gasped, slapping a hand lightly to her forehead, and gave him her real name.

“Sorry, I’ve been undercover too long. Steel was my nickname,” She apologized by biting her lip softly.

“That’s okay. I like it. Is it because of the piercings or what?” he asked curious, he found her charming.

“That and they said I had ‘nerves of steel.’ I don’t know. It’s silly, but it stuck,” She commented with a shrug.

He smiled and nodded before informing her, “Alright, so here’s where you’ll sit. This pile of folders are all of our open cases so far. Familiarize yourself with them. This isnt the gang unit so it’s not really action-packed, so… sorry if that’s a problem.”

“Not a problem at all. I’m ready for something a bit… calmer. Question though, why is our unit down here? I thought we had an entire floor?” She questioned sitting down.

“We usually do. The floor is being renovated and in a month and a half, half of the team will be going to D.C. so. Kind of just stuck here,” Marcus explained ignoring the pang in his chest as he thought about it.

“Oh. Okay. Would I be included in that half?” She asked quietly.

“Probably. The director will let you know by the end of the week,” He told her before returning to his file.

She nodded her head and took a moment to quietly study him. He was awfully handsome, and she could tell he was probably quite the gentlemen. She knew her body art can be quite the shocker, but his stare never once turned judgmental. In fact, he almost appeared curious about them.

She got to work and slowly met the rest of the team as the day went on. At the end of the day, they offered to buy her a drink, as a celebration. She accepted with a smile and looked over at Marcus who was still working.

“Would you like to join us?” She offered walking over to him.

He looked up at the question and noticed everyone was about to head out.

He politely shook his head, “No. Thank you though.”

She nodded her head once, and gave him a small wave goodbye, as she rejoined the others. They headed to a local pub that was 2 blocks over. They ordered their drinks and were talking amongst themselves.

At one point she noticed, one of the team members, Jack, scoffed quietly. She looked at him confused and followed his gaze over to the table where the other team that they shared space with sat. The others slowly got into a soured mood as they noticed their presence as well.

She whispered, “What’s up? Why are y’all acting weird?”

Amanda, who sat next to her, “So, you were bound to find out. But... the leader over there? Lisbon? Marcus was dating her.”

Chase who sat across from her finished, “He even proposed to her. She accepted but not even an hour later, broke it off to be with the blonde asshat you see with them.”

“So. We don’t like them,” Jack stated rolling his eyes.

Steel mouthed a silent ‘oh.’

“Worst part is, he’s also divorced. He has the worst luck with women and he’s honestly the sweetest guy I know. If I didn’t have a wife, I would take him,” Amanda said with a small sigh.

Steel listened to them, as they told her more stories about their boss. Not one of them seem to have a bad thing to say about him. That night as she went home, she was determined to make him smile again.

It began subtly. She would leave sticky notes randomly on his desk, that told silly jokes/puns or have phrases of encouragement.

His smile would be faint when he would find them. He was well aware of who was leaving them. Only one person had bright pink sticky notes, and she left them sitting on her desk.

Then she began to leave little flowers or candies on his desk. She always acted like she didn’t know what he was talking about when he brought it up. This went on for 2 weeks. When she found out that she would be heading to D.C. with them, she asked Marcus if he would be okay with helping her pack up some things. With it being a month away, most of them had the majority of their things packed up already.

He agreed to help with a smile.

That weekend, they went and got boxes and tubs galore. Her house was two-story townhouse. She fortunately, didn’t have stuff in every room, but she did have quite the library. Which is what he wound up helping her with the most.

They spent a great deal of time talking about books, especially over lunch and dinner. They were finishing up in the library later that evening when Marcus paused for a moment.

“How… how many tattoos do you have?” He asked eventually.

“Quite a few. I plan to get more as well. Piercings is probably easier to tell you,” She mentioned offhandedly.

“You have more than what I can see?” He inquired looking at her closely.

She giggled and cleared her throat before explaining “So I have 5 in each ear. My lip. Umm. This is probably too much info for my boss to know but I also had my nipples pierced anddd.. someplace else.”

He raised an eyebrow at that, his mouth dropping. “Wow.”

“Well, I had to get rid of,” She gestured to her chest. “when I began in the academy, so I technically don’t have them anymore. Uh. Tis not fun to run with them.”

He blushed lightly at that and chuckled softly, looking away.

“And… I think that’s enough on the TMI portion from my end. Um. Do you have any body modifications?” She asked awkwardly trying to get the focus off of her.

“No. I do not. Um. Always thought about getting a tattoo but was never brave enough to do it,” He mentioned as he took a seat on a tub.

“Really? Well. Maybe when we are in D.C., we can go get you a tattoo. I’d hold your hand and everything,” She suggested sitting next to him.

“I’d like that. Even the hand-holding part,” He teased lightly.

They stared at each, looking softly at one another. Her eyes glanced down at his lips briefly, wondering what they would feel like against hers.

He slowly leaned forward, his hand brushing along her jaw. She hesitantly closed the gap, pressing her lips against his. She pulled away slightly, trying to make sure he was okay with this. He pulled her back to him and kissed her more firmly. The passion was unhurried, building up gradually. When they pulled away, they were both breathless.

“Wow,” She whispered looking down, feeling her cheeks warm up.

Marcus cleared his throat and said, “I really like you… and I’m sure you’ve heard… about my previous relationship. If… if it doesn’t bother you… I’d like to be with you but… if.. if we could take it slowly?”

She looked up at him, stunned. “Honestly… I was worried you were about to say that was a mistake. I don’t mind taking this slowly. I just got out of pretty bad relationship myself to be honest. But I like you. A lot.”

He bit his lip briefly and nodded his head. “If I may, since we only really got a room done… maybe tomorrow I can take you out to lunch as a date before tackling the next room?”

“I’d like that,” She agreed softly smiling brightly at him.

She walked him to the door, and she started to tell him goodbye, but stopped.

“I know we agreed to take it slowly… but can I kiss you again?” She requested, fiddling with a lock of hair nervously.

He stepped forward, leaned down, and pressed his lips to hers in response. She slowly wrapped her hands around his neck, burying them in his hair, as she kissed back.

The kiss was shorter but still just as passionate.

As he pulled away, he quietly confirmed, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

She nodded telling him goodbye as he walked out. She locked the door with a sigh. She felt super giddy and couldn’t wait to see him again tomorrow.

Marcus, as he stepped into his car, felt happy. Something he hadn’t felt in a while. He looked forward to seeing Steel again. That night, as he got ready for bed, he realized… that not once that day… did his mind ever think of Lisbon. Even now, as he settled into his bed, he wasn’t riddled with thoughts or memories of their doomed relationship. He fell asleep thinking of woman covered in tattoos and piercings.

#marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x you #mentalist

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possiblyjad · 3 years

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So I noticed that I have had a bunch of new followers over the last month or so and I haven't taken the time to send you guys love and a proper intro! So here we go:

Hi! My name is Jade, but you can also call me Jad. I'm 27, Canadian (I live in Niagara Falls), and super queer. I use both she and they pronouns. I have two conflicting aesthetics of super cutesy pastel stuff and emo renaissance. I love fashion, makeup, and body modification as outlets of expression. I go to school VERY soon to be an esthetician, and I'm currently looking into the possibilities of getting a piercing apprenticeship.

Under the cut will be 25 random facts about me. Click to see them:

1. I grew up in a smallish town called Bowmanville, which is about an hour east of Toronto. It's rapidly expanding but in the heart of it is a bevy of picture esque historic neighborhoods lined with centuries old mansions. If you ever go, the one place I highly recommend food wise is Norm’s Deli downtown. The handmade pierogis and cabbage rolls are unmatched. Also, if you’re a tattoo fiend like me, some of my all time favourite artists are in Bowmanville/Oshawa.

2. I currently have 4 tattoos and 12 piercings, with the strong desire to get more.

3. My favourite colours are pastels mainly, baby blue, mint, lavender, and millennial pink.

4. I have a caffeine addiction which is usually fueled by coffee (mainly iced) and sugar free energy drinks.

5. I don't really care for alcohol too much, I like the occasional beer at Taps or a cocktail on a hot day, but I hate getting drunk and I'm also not fairly comfortable around drunk people unless I'm also drunk. (I don't really do parties anymore for that very reason)

6. I've been pescatarian since Feb 2020 and I've been trying my hardest to use cruelty free personal care products since the beginning of 2020.

7. My favourite CF makeup brands are Colourpop, Milk Makeup, Sugarpill, and Anastasia Beverly Hills.

8. Even though I'm trying really hard right now, I am USELESS when it comes to hair. I don't really know how to curl hair, I don't know how to braid, and I cannot be trusted with bleach (I won't fry your hair, it'll just be very uneven). I'm trying to learn hair curling now, though!

9. I smoke weed almost everyday. Depending on what I smoke with, it actually levels me out anxiety wise and allows me to focus and think like a normal person. I also smoke before bed to help treat my insomnia. On occasion though, I DO like to get mind numbingly stoned.

10. I actually have a hard time getting close to people, predominantly because of my past relationships with toxic people. My broken brain automatically considers most relationships temporary until proven otherwise, in an attempt to protect myself from further heartache. I always want to make new friends, I swear! Just keep interacting with me and I'll open up at some point.

11. I don't shut the fuck up. Ever. I'm either talking my friends' ears off or I'm complimenting a stranger because I can. Let’s just say that I’m a hit with my friends’ parents or family.

12. I LOVE TTRPG, it’s likely my biggest creative outlet right now. I play both DnD 5E and Pathfinder 1E. I partake in 5 games right now.

13. I’m a first time DM! I started a campaign for a bunch of people who are relatively new to DnD a few months ago and it’s been a hit so far! I absolutely love flexing my creative muscles and writing for my friends!

14. I also write as a hobby as well. Mainly fantasy drabble based on my TTRPG characters, but it’s still something.

15. I’m almost always either listening to music or finding new musicians to listen to. I curate playlists all the time and daydream to songs constantly.

16. My favourite artists/bands right now are: Lights, Marianas Trench, Mothica, BMTH, Halsey, Ashnikko, Billy Talent, Stand Atlantic, and a plethora more.

17. I’m technically the oldest in my family. I have a younger brother (also queer and trans, he recently started HRT!!), and a little half sister who is the literal light of my life.

18. I LOVE animals! I have a senior cat, Willow, who does not look or behave like a senior cat. I also have a lionhead/dwarf rabbit named Theodore, or Theo. I’d get more pets if it weren’t for the fact, we don’t really have the room for other animals in our apartment, and also the fact that Willow hates other cats.

19. I’m TERRFIED of bees/wasps. I understand their importance to the world and they can vibe and save the planet as far away from me as possible.

20. My favourite food is sushi. I’m also a massive sushi snob and I have strong opinions on many of the places I’ve been to in my lifetime. The best I’ve had is still this place in Freehold, NJ that I don’t remember the name of. In Ontario, thus far, is tied between Oishi Maki in Whitby, ON, and the St Catharines location for Wind.

21. I’m also a sucker for good bubble tea. It’s one of the easiest ways to win me over.

22. I just love tea in general. Hot or iced. You should see my tea/coffee cupboard, it is PACKED. I’m a huge David’s tea fan but I also like trying other loose-leaf teas as well, and I prefer herbal/fruit infusions over most other teas. Except for chai, you can win me over with a good chai.

23. I marched in a pride parade once! It was the Durham Pride Parade in Oshawa in 2014! I was still very much in the closet at the time, but I did get photographed by the news and everything! I would LOVE to go to Toronto Pride once in my life with a bunch of my other Alphabet Mafia fiends when things die down.

24. I am a shameless collector of Pokemon and Alpacasso plush.

25. Back when we could, I used to go to conventions a lot! I’ve been to Anime North, Fan Expo, and Con Bravo thus far. My favourite out of all of them is easily Con Bravo, but I would LOVE to check out other Ontario conventions when things open up!

#personal #about me #hi!!

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benchgenderstudies · 3 years

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Opening Letter to Labor Secretary Martin Walsh//

Disclaimer: This letter was originally slated to go through the White House email form as it could not be left for understaff prone to market loyalties. The matter relates to the physical abuses of laborers in the fashion industry and the protection of women in the marketplace. One runway model summarized her experience in the runway fashion industry as ‘ what most people called sexual harassment, we called compliments”. ..

As was written for the White house email form.

Dear President Biden, Enclosed is a letter I have prepared for your new US Labor secretary. The reason I am sending it through this venue is because M Patricia Smith, Labor Solicitor/assist to secretary is likely to trash it. Smith is a loyalist to a misogynist fashion industry and cannot be trusted to assure the Biden administration is made aware of significant problems. Problems that I found the Pennsylvania House and Senate delegates were too incompetent to handle.

Dear Labor Secretary Martin Walsh

Congratulations on your appointment to the US Secretary of Labor. It is a post with many opportunities of advancement considering its previous inhabitants have done so little to advance it. OSHA's budget is only limited by the initial investment in staff so that dangerous workplaces can be fined . David Michaels, Edwin Foulke Jr, and trumps appointee were not prepared of the bankroll they were leaving on the table by keeping the agency understaffed.

Ever since 2008 I have called on OSHA to regulate the fashion industry , specifically the fashion modeling agencies; to stop the industry anorexia that exists in its coven. One of your very own employees : M Patricia Smith, solicitor actively enabled the sex trafficking industry within NYC fashion to flourish by circumventing regulation aimed at ending eating disorders. How would that be linked? Agencies such as Elite Models go along with haute couture's demands because they can prescribe upon a female an emaciated frame by which she is no threat to them. She is no threat to demand her due pay for her commercial estate as the person the luxury brand uses to parade their diseased prescription of 'the female”. She is not female, usually, not for them.. rather she's typically pictured the androgynous prepubescent frame suited to turn on pedophiles as they are.. even if she's technically 16-22yo. That alone is a public health danger no matter who calls it art. Luxury fashion exists to be callous by its exercise of Bourdieu's Habitus: the arrogant exercise of trashing others for not wearing their clothing well or talking under the luxury parameters/terms of the Veblen good.

Every time I contact DOL, somehow the entire explanation bores them into inactivity. So , I'll tell you ahead of time.. if you dont understand what I'm telling you .. ask. The Department of Labor ,especially OIG and OSHA are far underperforming in protecting American workers. It is not only OSHA's duty to adopt the body mass index to regulate industry but also to adopt ALL health standards accepted by NIOSH/CDC in the effort of assuring a safe workplace. That is OSHA's duty as an agency. Is it not the Department of Labor's duty to avoid protect workers despite how the market might recontext them as contractors as a financial convenience. It is the goal to protect the rights of workers as they are in each industry and not by that industry's cowardice or vanity to exploit them in all the ways they will and do.

In this debate you're going to hear all sorts of nonsense about “Feminism' and “ Homophobia” as a defense for what the luxury fashion industry does. All you have to do is ignore their lawyers and their excuses and instead protect the public from the models and from becoming “ their kind of fashion model”. You're going to probably ask “ how can I prove the fashion industry causes eating disorders?” It does. But be real clear that just like murder you can kill a man with a sword or a gun. I am not saying all eating disorders are caused by the fashion industry; an industry who models malnutrition as a class status repeated back in the time of the “Gibson Girl”. All girls colleges reported worry that their students looking like worn dark eyed zombies was not a healthy state for students to be in.

A gay male fashion designer is neither an expert on anatomy nor gender studies, or gender psychology simply because he has a front row seat to his experience. He is open to be criticized and prodded exactly what about the female body he is aware of in physiological terms. Whether he protests by barking back “ you're just homophobic” avoids recognize he has nothing to respond. Dolce and Gabbana's designers failed out of fashion school so would hardly be the candidate to have a graduate or even bachelors degree in basic biology. Bluntly, just because he prefers his sex as a penetration by penis in his orifices doesn't mean he can appropriate the Cis Female identity and preferences for his own; for his microphone to redesign her; to artify her as an object of his creation. She is not his creation. So lets start at the reality that if a fashion model emaciating herself from age 16 onward AWAY from her natural fillout.. by the same championed methods as anorexics.. (stimulant abuse, strict calorie restrictions, exercise abuse, drug escapism) that she too will become injured no differently than the diagnosed anorexic the Usgov/NIH currently confuses themselves to be 'a mental disorder”. Its not a singular set of incidences. Its a tragic mistake of LGBT fashion designers and agencies to abuse a girl into their standards of sizing when said sizing is injurious to her.

I am going to close on these points: No matter if a foolish girl moves from Wyoming to New York City to chase her Vogue dream of being a runway model... her sense of liberation to be that model stops being 'feminist” when she forgets herself as an object set infront of youth and the public. When she is made a model to others.. her liberty is zero. Her occupation is not an ideal circumstance no matter how she smiles or how many magazine covers shes on. She is not an ideal female nor feminist to allow herself be made a 'hero' and 'celebrity' infront of young girls while she secretly is only in the industry to settle a fraudulent debt against her. These agencies recruit girls on the image of prestige. They hire limos and other image related services at her expense without telling her... or so the scam goes. Even if I detest the model herself for being a foolish stooge ,.. she has a right to grow up physically as a case of health no matter what her occupation is. Her identity does not owe the industry a duty to stunt itself to 'be its girl' . “It” doesnt know what a real girl is nor how to correctly respect her. If we really were talking about 'gender bending”, then the bulldyke butch female is absent on the range of imagery. The guys might wear the dresses but the females just look angry and spent.

Due to couture labels like Balenciaga, Gucci, and Dior.. the luxury fashion market clusters around them as a cult of personality. It is not merely fashion. Dior built his name on trying to repopularize the waspwaist.. and so we must also realize the practices of body modification (ie tattooing, piercing, corsetry) are also not for people below 18; an age 16 & 17 year old girls should not be allowed or expected to oblige. Couture's waif is body modification in a most anti female way of things; so.. neither CFDA nor its couture industry are feminists at all. Balenciaga is actually more famous than Dior in that the original models were 14 year old girls in place of models. Now the fashion critics are all gaga for 'the androgynous' norm not calculating that a girl too young to have one gender isn't either old enough to split the difference between two. The artification of gender is not its study nor its protection as an asset of classism.

The fashion industry is arguing that the “ Body Mass Index' is an inaccurate measure of health. As a paper chart, it was never meant to be a clinical test measure; Strike one. When skin calibers or hydrostatic weighing become part of the actual measure of body adiposity then BMI is plenty fair. More the point, a female below 18.5 even by the paper chart shows a lack of care for herself in weight training and metabolism maintenance. By trying to be a model or imitating model prescribed crash diets.. the youth and females of the public injure their metabolism in three ways : 1) they are incapable managers of any crash diet. 1a) they dont know to reset their reward food choices. 2) they indulge multiple crash diets and for far longer than the plan itself advises 3) the crash diet look is not the same look offered from hard training and a mere weekend worth of fasting for a judged event. These females are acting like the ideal body is maintained daily and weekly. Its not. The fashion industry tries to cheat its way to looking like the hard work of elite athletes concealing all the cheap taste addictions/ 5 star lard cuisine its fine dining jet setters choke down their throat between events.

The fashion industry also doesnt realize that body composition is larger than the height/weight chart. Body composition is small piece of Anthropometrics and Goniometry of the Movement studies field; Not Psychology. I actually find the female led psychology field in the study of eating disorders has enabled young girls to remain getting injured by market forces. This is not a day camp for women to console each other as victims.. Its a mockery of gender and sex education that its archetypes are paraded as ambiguous fads on the runway There are finite limits to the health of the female body that the industry is not protecting ; worse.. they indulge these 'international standards” so that the females and males applying for these jobs are worn out and too tired to fight about due credit. The broken mirror on the industry is they worship youth only so the youth cluster for easy fame.. and much easier exploitation; knowing nothing about the industry's dangers. New models are especially vulnerable to prostitution, forced drug addiction, rape, and the long term effects of eating disorders due to the silence of the current models and organizations like “ The Model Alliance” that try to legitimize the profession. Fashion designers have no say what eating disorders. They hesitate incriminate their own “homoerotic imagination” as diseased. Neither Fashion designers nor talent agencies have a soapbox on which to defend their exploitation of the models (mostly female).. in that 'she can leave whenever she wants... except she cant” . Due to the debt scam held over her.. she is forced to crash diet continually (malnourishment) until she is either out of debt, dead or in a hospital. She'll remain in that hospital taking small checks to shut up.. and take blame for 'her self made diets”.. instead of connect that no matter how self managed her disaster.. the primary cause of her illness ; her PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION; is by the compulsion to 'fight hard for her fame” and the agencies income.. no matter how unlevel their commitment is to her safety or industry legitimacy.

TO BE QUOTED:”Eating disorders victims are bonded by physical exhaustion that cannot be mistaken as a mental symptom to be bandaided by antidepressants.” -Michael Bench. Eating disorders are a physical ailment resulting from the queer fetished 1)calorie restrictions AND 2) food combination/pairings that set her GI tract and immune system into a downward spiral. 3) When the female dieter decides the first crash diet didnt work, her move to another plan ( of weird diet combos like grapefruit and baconbits) adds to the confusion of the GI tract. The GI tract biome is set off balance by these diets... and so too is an injury to her metabolism.. An injury of the public occurs through these extreme and fast results diet motivations as much as the fraudulent diet instruction itself.

The problems of the Department of Labor effectively advocating for employee safety are also complicated by its unwillingness to address NIOSH- NORA as a bunch of deadbeats.. They're too worried if a Christmas tree bundler was risky instead of keeping young women away from molesters, sadists, human traffickers and embezzlers among the industry protected by the Council of Fashion Designers of America. CFDA's primary error is that it only wants to defend the designers broken visions instead of the whole industry's aspirations to forward interesting art-as fashion. The Androgyny fad is a lie; its an artification of the female body by MALE models and designers to wear.. without concern how its prescriptions are unhealthy to her. The Fashion industry and HHS are going to retort “ anorexia” is a mental health problem.. not an employment/labor problem. So it happens uniformly in all industries then? Its image is promoted in fashion but not taking fault for? A female prescribed to look as though her growth curve recessed on itself.. to a size she was at age 12 or 14 is not only unhealthy.. its negligence and injurious damages owed to her by the brand and the agencies defending it.

Again. If you have any questions or wish to hash out more of a detail about these matters, do not hesitate to contact me. However.. after these many years that Department of Labor has done nothing to protect women from the fashion industry's bad actors.. its about time the whole executive branch find a conscience. Where there is a gender wage gap there also exists here a lack of care whether any industry abuses women or the public of females. There is only the President and the Vice President to conference on this .. I can tell you first hand the Labor OIG have failed repeatedly to act in forcing OSHA to perform its duty in adopting and enforcing HHS/ CDC health guidelines whether developed by NIOSH or otherwise. When Howard Shapiro was acting OIG legal he exclaimed “ we have no mandate to regulate fashion modeling by Bmi because its not in the 1970s founding of OSHA”. Of course it wouldnt be if BMI was adopted in 1998. Here I have to emphasize Shapiros lame excuse wasn't just that he didnt want to address BMI as a health metric but that he was refusing all health research and standards that were available ever since OSHA and NIOSH were founded. Shapiro owes the government his salary back. I hope your service in US LABOR determines you deserved every dollar of your office salary.

the regulation of the fashion industry is a necessary act of responsibility for all workers and to protect women. If the equality of women is a central pillar of President Biden’s campaign , this is not a matter to ignore. Please recognize my effort carrying on ever since 2008 has always stated “a prescription upon women that makes an ideal of a male cut/toned physique will not be healthy for a female to sustain. In the cause of artified androgyny and not accurately presumed gender swapping,, the female model is being physically abused for a norm ambivalent to her health” And this is why the gay male fashion designer is not credible to be designing for women in the frame of presuming himself gifted to those ends. The cult of personality around Dior and Balenciaga are not merely poorly aware of the female body. Couture is actually stubbornly refusing a majority of women in its pathetic aversion to sewing around curves. They are selfish to actually recognize any curvy female frame as it takes attention away from the slim “androgynous” ideal .. most like their mirror. Cosmosexuals vanity is toxic.

Cordially , Michael Bench , MEP, WGSGC

Exercise Physiologist

Gender Anthropologist

Author of Native Supremacy

#fashion #anorexia #sexualabuse

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brokebuckkmountain · 5 years

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In case anyone is curious how Monday actually went down after my super emo post:

After bawling my eyes out on the side of the road, I came home and crawled into a ball with my grandfathers sweater and slipped in and out of crying and napping. My mom eventually came in and woke me, and I started getting ready for my interview for the job I don’t even think I want. It was for the summer camp program of the middle school I currently work after school at, and all my new coworkers have been encouraging me to go for it. Unfortunately, the summer camp job is 30 hours a week an hour away, and I would need to quit my other job at Starbucks. This would become an issue come August, when the school job goes back to 15 hours a week and I don’t have a second job anymore. So I showed up to the interview acutely aware that I didn’t want to beat someone out for a job they wanted more, but I also didn’t want to do poorly because my current coworkers were the ones interviewing me. The whopping two (2) friends I’ve managed to make there were not present. I was hiding my puffy eyes behind fake reading glasses, and my one friend immediately called me out and could tell I’d been crying. I was also rocking leggings, a hoodie, and earrings that say “pussy power” if you squint hard enough to read the tiny font. Ever the professional.

After the interview, I called my friend group (the four of us are like a little squad, technically we’re all sorority sisters but we forget that that’s what originally connected us all the time). I was unhinged and yelling about my shitty life on the phone and when they realized I’d lost my grandpa, they insisted we hang out that night. I had mentioned I wanted to get a tattoo, mostly because when I’m sad body modification is one of my go to pick me ups (along with retail therapy, which I have been indulging heavily in lately), and as we got dinner, they all said they were down to get something too and that we should go. I gave weak protests as to why I wasn’t sure- my grandpa always hated them so it was poor timing, I’d have to hide it from my mom and not kick her while she was down, etc, but they weren’t having it. I also had Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday off, allowing me lots of no bra time while my rib cage healed. Next thing I knew we were waiting for a bus to a tattoo and piercing shop open til midnight, with my one friend positive she was getting a nose piercing (so if the rest chickened out, at least the trip wasn’t a waste) while my other friend and I wondered over getting a tattoo, and the fourth friend said she couldn’t afford either. I also pity everyone on the bus that had to hear the four sorority sisters talk about their potential tattoos, astrology, and who was the alpha based on who had the dominant period cycle. We are not a quiet bunch, either. When we got to the shop at 11, those last minute nerves hit us and we decided to flip a coin. Heads we head in, tails we turn tail and run. We got heads, screeched in excitement, and ran inside. I helped my little pick out a design for her tattoo, and while scrolling through dafont.com, my friends screamed in my ear “THAT’S THE ONE!” when I found a font I liked. Next thing ya know, my friend Sam is getting a nose stud, I’m getting my rib cage tattoo I’ve wanted forever, my little is getting a rose on her hip over old scars, and my g little is there for emotional support. We left, had to uber all the way back downtown to the only open Walgreens for unscented soap and aquaphor, and went our separate ways. I am so unbelievably grateful for my amazing friends, and that memorable night we spent together. I’ve known so many girls in college who impulsively get tattoos with their friends, and now I guess I’m one too. I got the words “it goes on” on my rib cage, in reference to this Robert Frost quote: “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” That sentiment meant a lot to me a few years ago, and it has new meaning now that I’m reeling with the loss of a loved one. But I am so lucky to have the friends that I do. Even when they encourage my wildly unhealthy coping mechanisms (the plan for tomorrow night is to party, hard, to kick off Spring Break). I also can’t stop flashing myself in the mirror and grinning at my new ink.

So that’s how the day went down.

#don't rb #personal #tattoos

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sassmill · 7 years

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Do all those ask things 1-104

I saw this comingASK ME THINGS1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? Hello Reese, how did I get here exactly 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?Lmfao she jokingly told people we were dating and liked to hold my hand and mentions the kiss way too much and shit but she never explicitly expressed actual interest in a real relationship and she kept telling me about girls she was talking to on tinder and asking me for relationship advice but I don't have time to play games and she graduated so who the fuck knowsThe kiss was for acting class but she was way too handsy with me outside of class for it to be just a stage kiss and by the end of the semester I was just kind of annoyed 3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?If we're talking the good kush then no but other stuff yes4. Is your last name longer than six letters?Yeet5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?Well my character was an alcoholic and the girl kissing me had just finished pouring beer into my mouth So "Tilly" was drunk but I was not 6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?Lmao give me till the end of the summer before I answer this (that's a big fuckin joke because I'm a pussy and won't do anything)7. What does your last received text say?TRUE8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?idk I think we did the scene full out a total of three times9. Where was your last kiss at?The black box theater on campus10. When is the last time you saw your sister?Sometime before she went to bed idk time is a human construct 11. What do you drink in the morning?Coffee 12. Where did you sleep last night?My bed 13. Do you think relationships are hard?Just because something takes effort doesn't mean it has to be hard 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?Done my fuckin employment paperwork for camp a hell of a lot sooner 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?UGH having to have an actual conversation and not being able to diffuse everything with humor like I usually do 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?Rainy I am so unbelievably pale 17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?Yes my fuckin dorm neighbor all this past year had the exact first AND middle name as me it was fuckin weird18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?Haha joke's on you I don't wear pants to bed if I don't have to 19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?You know I sure fuckin hope so because I'm actually starting to lose my mind 20. Does anyone like you?Platonically I'm popular for once and it's working well for me so I'm gonna pretend that that's what this question is asking me 21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?Nope22. Is the last person you kissed gay?She's not straight 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?SEVERAL 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?A lot but I'm impulsive and afraid of commitment so I know that any choice I make I will probably regret 25. In the past week have you cried?Haha more like how many weeks has it been since I haven't cried26. What breed was the last dog you saw? Friendo (mutt)27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?Idk I kinda do a combo I move while drying 28. Have you ever kissed a football player?Oh honey not my gay ass29. Do you think you’re old?I've been told I'm an old soul and I've personally felt like a 46 since I was about 1330. Do you like text messaging?Since I struggle with verbal communication (that isn't rehearsed like a script is), YES31. What type of day are you having?Went to IKEA and the hardware store then went home and felt hopeless about a married woman so all in all pretty gay32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?Not really I'm all for body modification but for myself piercings freak me out33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?Cold this is literally logical because I can't remove my skin when it's too hot but I can put on a fucking sweater when it's cold 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?I LOVE MY ACTING TEACHER CLAIR SO FUCKING MUCH HE IS A BRIGHT LIGHT AND I DONT THINK I WOULD'VE DONE SO WELL THIS YEAR WITHOUT HIM35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?fuck I meanRealistically a relationship But I passed desperate when I joined a sugar baby website so I'll take a fuckin fling at this point36. Are you a simple or complicated person?I'm like what would happen if you tried to put together IKEA furniture for the second time without the manual and you have a little too much confidence in yourself because you pulled it off fine the first time with the instructions but you quickly realize you need help and then everything just turns into screaming 37. What song are you listening to?Literally erotic asmr videos judge me if you want I've lost the ability to care38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?Honey if I ain't sorry your ass isn't getting an apology 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?The fuckin cheese monster 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?Holy shit do I even want to get into thisTrick question the answer is yesSo I've known this woman for over ten years and have been getting increasingly close with her for sixIn the past four years is when I've fallen for her and let me tell you in all honesty: it started as a hate fuck fantasy. I used to hate her so so much. AND THEN I realized I was gay and Things Changed ™ plot twist: she's actually an incredible person who helped me build up my confidence and feel proud of my sensuality and yeah I think I've been solidly in love with her for two years now but she is married to a man so fuck me rightShe's also twice my age which has lead me into some deep self loathing shit it's complicated and I'm still working through it 10/10 would not recommend She did call me her flirty girl tho at least I'll always have that whatever the fuck it's supposed to mean41. When did you last receive a text message?12:12 am which is about half an hour ago 42. What is wrong with you right now?We don't have time for this I can assure you 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?Well first of all I pretty much text only females, so jot that downAnd I mean god how long have we been friends Reese I think I know you fairly well for an Internet friend I know about your true feelings for bowser so 44. Does anyone disgust you?Jesus don't even fucking get me started 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?Yes are you sensing a theme here46. Are you in a good mood right now?Eh47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?My father48. What color shirt are you wearing?Grey49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?That I have my permit test tomorrow lmao50. Anyone you’re giving up on?I mean people change so fuckin give it time51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?See number 4052. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?NOPE when I decide I'm done I'm fuckin done 53. Do you like rain?Ye54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?Within reason 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?See 4056. Do you like to cuddle?Yes fuck57. Are you shy?Not really I mean I have a variety of facades for when I'm insecure so58. Do you get along with girls?I'm gay59. Have you dated the person you texted last?Yeah what a memelord60. What do you carry with you at all times?My dark past with the musical Cats61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?My dude I already volunteer in one for free you bet your ass I'd jump at the chance to get paid to deal with ghosts for onceI'd have a lot more patience with the Puritan minister calling me a witch because I'm a woman who speaks out of turn if I was making money 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?I'm a very adaptable person so I should hope so63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?Nope64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?Well when she kisses me on the cheek I die inside so I'm gonna go with probably 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?Ashlinn and Kristina reaffirm my belief in the existence of love every day and that's the cutest thing ever66. How old are the last three people you kissed?25, 19, 18 but honestly none of them count so?67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? I'm cheap and don't like physical contact or intimacy with strangers so you do the math68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Leopard 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? My dude I don't even have a license 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Who71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? I'm posting this via carrier pigeon so72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? Idk whenever the last buskin society party was 73. Do you like diet soda? Only Diet Pepsi 74. What color are the walls in your room? This really awful green color that my parents painted it when my youngest siblings were sharing it (a "gender neutral" color)75. Are you 16 or older? Yeet76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Ugh I watched two whole seasons and still couldn't find a way to care77. Do you have a job? I have three technically but two are summer and one is at school 78. What are your initials? EVG79. Did you ever have braces? For five fucking years plus other shit to fix my overbite 80. Are you from the south? God no 81. What does your last status on facebook say? If You Notice A Beautiful Purple Thing On The Sand This Summer, Run Away Immediately 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? Yeah see I haven't had a real kiss yet so 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Idk I mean I think I get along better with my dad but that's just because I am literally exactly like my mother 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Oh god yup both I dropped a girl on her head 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? I think it was Get Out86. Do you smoke? Carol Aird Taught Me How To Hit A Blunt At Two AM On A Softball Field 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Heels88. Is your phone touch screen? If I touch the pigeon it bites me89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? This is a joke my hair has absolutely zero natural texture 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? I'm bland 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Pool I get anxiety from nature have you ever seen Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster?92. Have you ever made out in a car? No93. …Had sex in a car?I'm really bitter right now94. Are you single or in a relationship? Really 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?I think I was crying 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? A couple months ago just randomly. My school is down the road from an amusement park. 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? I guess98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? I am a heavyweight mom friend so no100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Yup101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? I'm gay102. Name your favorite Kesha song: I fux wit Your Love is My Drug103. Do you have any tan lines right now? I have the minimum amount of melanin a person can have without actually being albino I am physically incapable of tanning104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Fashion is a societal construct

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