#I could have used very profound lyrics for the description

[ninadove]

Damn.

— Puppeteer, from EPIC: The Musical

Part 1 ⬆️

Part 2 🕰️

Meta 🧩

[adiosalasrosas]

NINE INCH NAILS [TRENT REZNOR] INTERVIEW:

Explains the process of writing "HURT"

What I was concerned about when I wrote the Downward Spiral record was being a self-centred destructive force. The point was tearing down everything in a search for something else. I had a little experiment in my life in my early 20s where I knew what I wanted to do but I was afraid to do it. I was afraid it wouldn’t be any good. I’d always been smart and knew I could get by. But I’d never pushed myself to see what I was capable of because I didn’t have to. Then I thought ‘what would happen if I get rid of all the shit I don’t need?’ I don’t need friends or girls or a band. It was like ‘fuck you’ and I became autonomous and turned inward and found all this hatred and ‘me against the world’ attitude.

And that hatred and isolation found expression in your music?

I found I could turn that into something. Instead of punching the wall and having my hand hurt, I could write it down. Strangely things came out of that seemed to have this catharsis. There was a beautiful element to it and it made me feel good. So I decided to keep doing that. When I wrote The Downward Spiral in 1993 I was five or six years into that experiment and it still worked.

The record was exploring a narrative about someone who systematically examines every aspect of their life and then destroys it on a path to trying to find some other solution. I’d started with that theme and fitted songs into the storyline, dealing with religion and sex and drugs and the record ended with some sort of conclusion that could have been suicide, but certainly wasn’t a positive place.

The one song on that record that doesn’t fit that description was Hurt, How did you write Hurt, which Johnny Cash famously covered…

The video he made of that song was overwhelming. When I saw it the power and beauty of music struck me in a really profound way. I was at a point in my life when I was really unsure if I was any good or if I had anything to say. The song came out of a really ugly corner of my mind and turned into something with a frail beauty. And then several years later an icon from a completely different world takes the song and juxtaposes himself into it in a way that seems more powerful to me than my own version. I was flattered as an artist and as a human being they could do that with my song. And it came at a very insecure time in my life and it felt like a nudge and boost and a hug from God. It said ‘everything’s OK and the world is bigger than what’s just in my head.’

So how did you write Hurt?

I wrote that after I thought the record was finished. It happened in a day or so and I hadn’t planned on it being on the record or on making a song as gentle or delicate or that. I was uneasy about putting it on the album because that song felt like I was saying I needed help. I wouldn’t admit that to myself but when I wrote it I felt like I was sitting in a pile of rubble and there was a hint of regret and remorse. Hurt was the first inclination for me that I could use a hand here. The Downward Spiral

album was a record all about beating everybody up – and then Hurt was like a coda saying may be I shouldn’t have done that. But to make the song sound impenetrable because I thought it was a little too vulnerable, I tried to layer it in noise.

That seems to be a bit of a theme with your work with Nine Inch Nails…

Well a lot of what I’ve done as Nine Inch Nails has been governed by fear. I was trying to keep the songs in a framework that was tough and I learnt a lot from Jesus and Mary Chain about how to bury nice pop songs in unlistenable noise – the idea being if you can get behind that wall you find there’s a pearl inside. That’s where my head was at.

What was behind the lyric when you wrote it? The ’empire of dirt’ was presumably the whole junkie lifestyle…

Interestingly enough, when I wrote the song I had no idea what was in store for me. I wrote the album about somebody who follows this path who was an extension of me. But it was in my head. I hadn’t actually lived it. Then later I lived it. I didn’t realise the record was a premonition. I was using the metaphor of drugs at the forefront of what was going on. But I wasn’t a junkie. Later I became one, but I didn’t know there was an addict in me that just hadn’t bloomed out of the dirt yet.

So that whole album became a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Yes. Oddly enough, that album began my own personal plummet into the depths of addiction and finding out my way doesn’t work and that I needed people and help every once in a while and I am human after all. That’s why the records since then have taken such a long time. On 1999’s The Fragile I was still lying to myself about what was really happening.

You developed a reputation for excess that was excessive even by rock’n’roll standards…

Even when you come to the end of a destructive phase of writing all those songs like that , it sticks with you. It’s not like I could say ‘I’m done writing, I’m now going to go out there and be normal.’ In my life I was always floating around the edge of the dark side and saying what if take it a little bit too far and who says you have to stop there and what’s behind the next door. Maybe you gain a wisdom from examining those things. But after a while you get too far down in the quicksand.

So how did you clean-up?

Very simple. In 2001 when we finished touring, I realised ‘you’re going to die unless you stop’. Your friend just died and there’s no more way forward You get your shit together or your die. It’s tough when you think you’re smart. I’d seen people and said ‘I’ll never be that fucking bad. I’m too smart to be an addict.’ Yet I became something I never thought I could be. It was a gradual realisation but there was a definite point where if I had any molecule of sanity left, I couldn’t deny what was right in front of my face.

Do you have to reach a point of self-loathing to take that decision to change?

You do loathe yourself because you’ve lost all self-respect. I remember thinking ‘What’s the point? I’ve had everything I ever wanted in my life and I’m vomiting in the sink again. How did that happen?’ So yes, I hated myself.

Is the new record, ‘Halo 19: With Teeth’, a chronicle of your recovery?

I hope it’s not that boring. I didn’t want to be preachy. But I can’t deny it was a huge thing behind the record. Every aspect of my life changed. I decided I would do anything not to be in this shape. I thought ‘let me not try to bend the rules and just take it easy and not think about making a record.’ I spent time sitting on a couch, feeling OK, reading a book, pursuing friendships and not wanting to jump out the window. I spent a couple of years just trying to feel OK with myself and not always to be in a white-knuckle state of despair. And I succeeded. I felt my whole life up until that point had been swimming against the current. I came to realise what I was fighting for didn’t make sense any more.

But how does that impact on your creativity? If you’re felling OK and pretty contended with your life, does that make for good music?

I don’t remember particularly needing to be fucked up to write music. But I don’t remember not being fucked up when I was writing music. But by the end I couldn’t write a song because I was high and I felt like my head was stuffed full of cardboard. I had nothing interesting to say. And when I started this record, which was Jan 2004, it felt like there were a million ideas stuck in my head that were finally able to come out. I found I could pursue an idea down its course, whereas before I’d get two bends down the road and I’d forget what I was doing. It was so empowering to feel I could think again. It feels pretty good to be able to look at fresh experiences with a new clarity. Because I’d lost that. I’m not just trying to be the positive ex-junkie guy and I hate to be preachy. But what I’ve gained is so much more than what I’ve had to give up.

[shoechoe]

another long ramble this wont get out of my head!! ur words hav enlightened me! a bit wish washy i may hav repeated some stuff but man i hav sooo many thoughts. when u mentioned how some of ur favorite prog rock songs feel more like a journey rather than conventional music experiences it rlly struck a chord in me. rlly! its such an interesting take bc it did make me reflect a bit on king crimson's *titles* in particular and their longer songs, specifically. theyre like chapters, is what ive came to realize a bit too late knowing ive been listening to king crimson since 2021... i really wish i had taken the time to delve into their lyrics. (moreover on lyrics, i did have a long conversation about starless w a friend before,, i really liked the themes of torn relationships and betrayal within the song! richard palmer james, someone who helped write the song stated that the song was actually about ending a friendship of sorts. interesting. [http://www.elephant-talk.com/wiki/Interview_with_Richard_Palmer-James_in_Tylko_Rock], tho honestly i could see many other interpretations of it. another song i analyzed, that time on my own, was fallen angel... which still makes me pretty damn emotional to this day.) the narrative parts of kc makes me think of lizard (the song, not the entire album), part one being labelled "prince rupert awakes", w v lively and descriptive lyrics. (expressing themes of royalty and social hierarchy. alluding to rupert's arrogance in being able to wipe out the enemy.) and then nearing the end of the song, is "prince rupert's lament", paired w an instrumental which expresses his death in battle!! while i hav listened to this song countless times (inadvertently bc spotify's shuffle features sucks ass) and have gotten a bit frustrated, i never rlly took the time to rlly take a look into the *beauty* of the lyrics of lizard... i jus rlly appreciate how subtle yet very profound and rhythmic the lyrics are... even if it seems like gibberish at first glance u can still make out some sort of meaning given that u have the patience n time. jus like listening to the song itself u have to take in all elements of sight (reading, obviously jbddb) and hearing.

i love the attention to detail in verses 4 and 5 in part 3 (battle of glass tears) (moreover i think this is one of the most beautiful fuckin things ive heard in a king crimson song), showing the passage of time from night to day as the soldiers fearfully yet ambitiously prepare for battle. as soon as the sun rose, they (id presume) said their prayers before they marched into battle. usually sunrise is associated with more positive emotions, but in this case id assume rupert and all of his underlings died. glass tears are also a real-life phenomena, very strong hardened glass... earlier in the song there were allusions to eyelids being torn (ouch) and yeah i can see the logic behind that bc glass cuts thru things. i think it touches on the bloodshed and lament of the battle rupert and his soldiers fought!

i feel the last portion of the rlly ties into the darker aspects of the song which i had overlooked, initially...!!! i feel that part of the prog rock experience, at least w listening to king crimson, is to immerse urself in the lyrics i guess. cuz while u may get a good 10min of instrumentals (bolero), i jus find it so fascinating that even smthn as "simple" as that could withold immense meaning to the artist which makes it shine or stick out.... fripp mentioned that the segment of lizard, bolero, was the only thing that didnt cause him intense misery. (https://www.dgmlive.com/diaries/Robert%20Fripp/simon-amp-robert-have-returned-210916) which obvs provides a lot of insight into the making of the song and album itself. twas a bit critically received and fripp called ppl who liked lizard "strange" iirc. heh. i enjoyed looking up random ass takes abt this song online. and also using my own brain. i think it adds to the experience a lot, like i said. i should def go check out echoes by pink floyd and take ur interpretation into consideration, ofc. X)

I don't have much to add since I haven't thought about them as much as you have, but yeah, absolutely. Progressive rock is fantastic at immersion and telling stories through the music just as much as the lyrics. Some of my favorite songs seem strange on the surface, but become better with thought and repeat listens. Hope you like Echoes, of course. (Pink Floyd also made an abridged 16-minute version a little while later, which I think was a good call despite my love for the original.)

[withoutyouimsaskia]

The Placebo Effect

When it comes to music, for me, there is no other band that compares to Placebo.

Placebo came into my life when I was around 9 or 10 and they changed my life. I didn't understand the gravity of the lyrics in many of the songs but I loved the sound of them. It was unlike anything I had ever heard before (or since for that matter).

Brian Molko and Stefan Olsdal inspire me every day. They are two of my favourite people on the planet. The influence they have on me is profound. I find solace and joy in their art and their aesthetic informs a lot of the choices I make with clothing and makeup.

Their music is a safe space.

They are the reason I created a Tumblr profile; I wanted photos and GIFs of them on tap. My username and bio description are Placebo related and my profile picture was taken with a special filter they released when the Surrounded by Spies single was released in 2021.

I was fortunate enough to see them live for the first time last night (13/06/23) in my favourite venue. Second row. Right in front of Brian. So close that I could see the blue-green of their eyes.

Right from the opening chords of Forever Chemicals, I went to another plane and still haven't come back.

This was the one. The perfect concert.

They are masters of their craft. The mix of older and newer songs. The relevance of the lyrics. Every note was poignant and visceral. The power in Brian's voice was stunning.

Seeing the enjoyment on Brian and Stefan's faces as they smiled and gave knowing looks to each other, it warmed my heart. I made eye contact with both of them several times and being able to connect with them like that was unbelievably special.

I sang to every song, and danced and jumped. I threw my hands up and shook my hair around. I cried when they played Song to Say Goodbye and Happy Birthday in the Sky. I kept putting my hand on my chest, right over my heart, so I could feel the vibrations of the music. I let go of my inhibitions. I love that they encouraged a no phone/camera policy; it was a room full of people living in a unique moment. For 23 songs, they had us in the palm of their hands.

It was a gift to share that time with them. To watch them do what they love and to hear songs that I connect to on such a deep emotional level.

When they left, the cheers and clapping went on for ages and I started to process what had just happened.

Outside, I reunited with the friends I had made while queuing and inside the venue, and we had a very excitable de-brief together, took group photos and exchanged contact details.

It was a perfect evening. I was euphoric. Floating far above the metaphoric clouds.

And then I met Stefan. Actual Stefan Olsdal. One of my absolute favourite people. I had written a letter to him and Brian and decided to ask the security people outside the tour bus if they could get it to them. I got an even better and totally unexpected offer: "would you like to meet Stefan?"

The next thing I know, he's coming out the bus to specifically speak to me.

It was so easy to talk to him. He's very softly spoken and sweet. He asked me how long I had been following them and was surprised at how young I had been. He also seemed excited that it was my first time seeing them.

I did gush a bit incoherently but he was lovely and and comforting. His replies to my praise were humble and precious. I loved seeing his smile up close. He also gives very satisfying and long hugs. I adore the photo we took together and I will treasure it forever.

I mean, look at Stefan's beautiful face.

Thank you Placebo for your art, and for last night. It was like being in a dream. I will never be the same again ❤️

[violetmagdalene]

Thérèse Dreaming (1939) and Maya Hawke

PART 2 - SYMBOLISM AND LYRICS

Same warnings: misogyny, abuse, pedophilia (none are graphic descriptions), and language. 

See part 1, 2, coming soon: 3

The Dream, verse 1 

I go see Thérèse dreaming She's stretching out her sore shoulder Leaning back, eyes closed, reaching up She is wishing she was older Dreaming of an appaloosa Saddled up, riding out of town Dreaming of a Shelby cobra Digging her tires in the ground

What do you see in Thérèse’s face? Is she relaxed, relieved, or in deep thought? The title tells us that she’s dreaming but is it a good dream? Personally, I see some strain on her  face. I take note of how tightly shut her eyes are. Maya gives her daydreams like riding horses, fancy cars, and leaving town. There’s a sense of freedom in this. I think it makes Thérèse more real. Who hasn’t been a little girl dreaming of something bigger? 

Growing Pains

Bleeding, bringing in a new year mess

Unaware of the stain on her dress

It's tactless, its a test

It's just Thérèse 

It's just Thérèse

The scandal of the painting, the exposed underwear. Sadly, I’ve never seen the painting in person, so I can’t tell you exactly what I see but many interpret the stain or shadow on her underwear as menstrual blood. If she’s eleven, it’s likely she hasn’t had a period for a very long time and probably doesn't realize. The beginning of puberty is very difficult for everyone, especially women. It’s messy and it always feels wrong, but it’s the first step to bodily adulthood. Not to mention the preconceptions and misogyny around periods. Only recently and in every specific spaces it has been okay to even utter the word period. Personality, i'm tired of phrasing like ‘that time of the month.’ And I think Miss Hawke may be too because in her version of the painting, she proudly wears a red stain. 

The Perversion, verse 2

White kitten in the corner

Obscene 

It really says it all

Milk matches her underwear

Get her down

Take her off the wall

‘Get her down, take her off the wall’ may refer to the movement started by Mia Merrill, a human resources manager who saw the painting at the Met (where it still is today). The Met responded politely, but declined. Merrill replied: “I would consider this petition a success if the Met included a message as brief as, ‘Some viewers find this piece offensive or disturbing, given Balthus’ artistic infatuation with young girls'.” Which is something I agree with. I do believe that what Maya is doing through her music and art is of the utmost respect and reverence for Thérèse and probably is the most kindness her soul has received in a long time.These lyrics talk about the very likely meaning of the white cat in the painting. Balthus has used the cat metaphor in his work multiple times, all paired with a woman reclining in a revealing pose. See nude with cat. One can infer that the cat represents the slang for female genitalia: pussy. Having it lap at the bowl of milk is a pretty thinly veiled representation of oral sex as well. Maya tells us this, ‘obscene, really says it all.’  Reminding us of the harsh reality that the model is a young girl. 

Final

She empathizes with your feelings

She's more interested in the ceilings

She reminds me of memories

Sleeping off the growing pains

We were seeing enemies

spelling out each others names

Whispering inside our red house

While the adults were asleeping

I guess Thérèse is just for me

A quiet I keep on keeping

Maya imagines a life with Thérèse. That they could have been childhood friends. The profound sadness is overwhelming at this point in the song. ‘Thérèse is just for me, a white I keep on keeping.’ She keeps Thérèse with her, taking her away from her trauma and giving her a new story. As if she is some kind of guardian or symbol for women. I connect with these songs and videos so much because I feel the same way. Ever since I learned about Thérèse’s story, I saw myself in her. Many of us, myself included, find strength in our dreams of a better future. They motivate us. A great defender of this, author Robin D.G. Kelly calls them ‘freedom dreams.’ Dreams of racial and gender equality. Dreams of utopia, freedom and happiness. Without hope, how do you power your future? 

Read: FREEDOM DREAMS: The Black Radical Imagination By Robin D.G. Kelly

My next post will discuss the music video of ‘Blue Hippo’! Each of these posts will be revised after i post them. Feel free to talk to me and send me asks! I love talking about music and art. I hope everyone is taking care of themselves <3. 

[anotherghoul666]

7:A song to drive to

19:A song that makes you think about life

7:A song to drive to As I mentionned before, I don't drive so I have no clue what makes a good driving song hahaha XD The first time I answered this question I provided the type of song I listened to when my dad drove me places. Now I shall provide a public transport song, a very clear memory in my brain from 2010-2015 when I was in university, which I rode the metro to for over an hour each way, every day. I had to keep myself hype and ready to tackle the Horrors of Socializing XD And this album was a regular spin to wake myself up at 6 in the morning while glued to people's backs in the metro.

Of Mice & Men - Second & Sebring Some good ol' easy metalcore to whip you into shape at ungodly hours in the morning!

19:A song that makes you think about life Previously when I answered this question, I talked about how the death of an artist I never met or saw live but that meant ther world to me put life in perspective and made me ponder its meaning. Some fun lighthearted answer! XD So let's say equally lighthearted and talk about depression and anxiety weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Life, when you're a neurodivergent person like me, when you have mental health issues and trasuma like me, is often about those differences or those disorders taking over. And if you get through that period of it taking over, then life becomes a reflection of what you've traversed and sucessfully conquered. In that same university period, you got me reminiscing today uh? xD, I dealt with some of the most intense bouts of anxiety I remember having. (Now that I know I'm autistic it was probably also autistic meltdown because of how overstimulated and strung tight I was in uni, but I digress). By 2015-2016 it got to the point where I could not leave my apartment to go grocery shopping, and I lived across the street from a grocery store. I could not feed myself I was so fucking terrified of having to interact with neighbours in the hallways and elevators; the thought of crossing the stress and maybe doing it wrong or not going at the right time or dropping something in front of cars of tripping in front of cars and getting ran over paralyzed me so I couldn't walk the few meters to the store; and don't even get me started on the store itself, the other patrons, the cashiers, people looking at the food I bought, etc. I was stuck in a cocoon where I was miserable and in profound pain and anguish 24/7. Music of course was one of the few things that kept me going. And I clung furiously to bands and artists that put the pain I felt in lyrics and songs. I just wanted to be seen and told what I experienced was normal. Artists who shared my pain were my buoys in the seemingly endless sea of anxiety paralysis. One of those core artists that kept me alive was Lunatic Soul with their Walking on a Flashlight Beam album.

Lunatic Soul - Gutter Specifically this song, Gutter, felt like it held space for me and how I felt. Those lyrics. That felt like the description of a panic attack to me. That's how I felt all the time. "The fear is what I need, what I need to believe. The feer is what I need, what I need to feel." I lived on fear, and it killed me just as much as it kept me alive.

Nowadays I look back on this artist and this record and I still love them dearly, but they don't feel like words are taken out of my mouth anymore, thankfully. My live's done a full 180 since and I'm better than I have ever been. But Gutter is still a track that I made my life partner listen to when we met. Within a few weeks of getting together we were in her room and we traded meaningful songs of our lives back and forth, to get to know each other better. I played this one and another Lunatic Soul track about being terrified to be loved. We cried so fucking much. We knew, we saw each other, and things were alright. So yeah, Gutter I've used to summarize my life before. I feel it qualifies for the question haha.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Days Without End. By Sebastian Barry. Penguin, 2016.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction

Series: N/A

Summary: Thomas McNulty, aged barely seventeen and having fled the Great Famine in Ireland, signs up for the U.S. Army in the 1850s. With his brother in arms, John Cole, Thomas goes on to fight in the Indian Wars—against the Sioux and the Yurok—and, ultimately, the Civil War. Orphans of terrible hardships themselves, the men find these days to be vivid and alive, despite the horrors they see and are complicit in.

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: violence, racism (including violence against Indigenous peoples, minstrelsy/blackface, and use of the n-word)

OVERVIEW: I don't remember how I learned of this book, but this might be one of those instances where I saw it at a bookstore and decided to give it a go. Overall, I had very mixed feelings; while I admire the work that went into creating such interesting prose and gorgeous atmospheric narration, I also felt like the story lacked emotional depth and did very little to explore how the characters were complicit in colonialism and racism. I can understand why some readers loved this novel, but personally, I can only award it 2 stars.

WRITING: Barry's prose in this novel is a first-person mix of conversational tale-telling and literary profundity. By this I mean that the style is defined by sentence fragments, casual syntax and diction, and a lack of quotation marks, imitating the speech of a poorly-educated Irish immigrant. At the same time, it offers rich description and deep insight that one might expect from literary fiction. I particularly liked the way Barry described the natural world and the poetic rendering of the atmosphere; it made me think of American Hudson River School paintings, all Romantic, sublime landscapes and rugged wilderness. I found this mix particularly effective because it mixed the mundane with the profound, and it made clear that lower-class people can be just as observant, insightful, and wise as any learned poet or philosopher.

Still, there were some things that made this book somewhat difficult to read. For one, some of Barry's paragraphs could get overly long, spanning two or more pages. While I understand that stylistically, such a long paragraph can convey a continuous, run-on thought, I also felt like some paragraph breaks would have been helpful. For two, Barry tends to repeat certain words - namely, "queer," "caterwauling," and others - to the point where it becomes distracting. For three, this book is not one of emotional depth, which means I had a hard time with the dispassionate narration. Perhaps Barry's prose was emotionless on purpose, but for me, it was hard to connect with the narrator because it felt less like he was psychologically distancing himself from horror and more like nothing truly affected him.

PLOT: The plot of this book follows Thomas McNulty, a 17 year old Irish immigrant who joins the U.S. army during the Indian Wars. Thomas enlists with his companion, John Cole, a boy from New England with whom Thomas is in love. Together, they struggle to survive amidst the horrors of war, which includes violence, cold, famine, and disease.

I think I would have liked this story better if Barry had injected a bit more emotion into the narrative. Though I think some of the prose evokes a sense of awe and terror (due to its lyricism), Thomas himself feels somewhat cut off from the world and from the people around him. We know he is in love with John Cole, but there isn't a telltale sense of longing or affection that one might expect, nor is there much of an emotional reaction to the horrors that Thomas witnesses as a soldier. Perhaps this done on purpose to show how being treated poorly/living in desperation makes one numb to the world, but even so, I had a really hard time feeling like *I* should be horrified at that.

Moreover, I think Barry fumbles when exploring the conflict between the U.S. army and the Indigenous peoples of North America. It's clear from the narration that we're not supposed to sympathize with characters who view Indigenous peoples as subhuman, but at the same time, Thomas and John partake in horrific violence that goes relatively unchallenged. Not only do they kill Indigenous women and children, but they end up adopting an indigenous girl themselves (though they aren't cruel to her, they do take her away from her people). Not even Thomas and John's brief career as cross-dressing dancers was of much interest to me because multiple stints were done as a minstrel show (complete with blackface). A number of reviews criticize this book for being too politically correct while others praise the violence for its "realism." Both critiques feel way off to me for the simple reason that this violence/racism simply had no point other than creating a sense of "historical accuracy." In other words, it seemed to me that Barry was interested in using the Indian Wars as a backdrop and simply describing what happens, but was not interested in the question of what responsibility (if any) does a poor, desperate immigrant like Thomas bear for participating in the colonial project. Perhaps I'm being unfair and there really is something in the novel that explores this; personally, though, I just did not enjoy reading about violence against Indigenous peoples and the blackface was just tasteless.

In the same vein, I think the transition to the part about the Civil War was a bit abrupt. Both Thomas and John enlist in the Union army when the time comes, but because neither character seems to have strong convictions, I felt like Barry was struggling to give his characters meaning without war. I think the transition could have worked if this book was interested in exploring what it meant for someone like Thomas to take on a (white) American identity, but as it stands, it feels like Barry is more interested in writing about the things that go on during war than he is about the motives or impacts on the people fighting it.

CHARACTERS: Thomas, our narrator, is kind of fun to follow purely because of his dialect and method of narration. I thoroughly enjoyed Thomas's humor and little turns of phrases, and I appreciated the way he looked at things like desperation and war. Beyond that, however, I felt like there was very little to him. We're told he's in love with John, but that love isn't shown in a way that makes it feel real. We're told he is attached to Winona, but we don't get many scenes of them bonding until the last 40 or so pages of the book. We're also told that Thomas may be trans, and while I would find a trans character in this setting interesting, Barry doesn't do much to explore Thomas's feelings until the end of the narrative.

John, Thomas's partner, is even less interesting in that we see very little of him. He's alway in the periphery, and though we're told he and Thomas are in love, again, it's difficult to feel it in any useful or impactful way. Thomas even has a line towards the end that says he loves John because he's a perpetual mystery, and personally, I don't find that kind of character compelling when talking about romantic attachment.

Side characters are kind of a mix, with some of them seeming like kind people who are just doing their best while others are horrible racists who should be in prison. I was somewhat sympathetic to the major, who seemed like he wanted real peace with the Indigenous peoples but was forced to fight (until the end, which was disappointing); however, others such as the sergeant and a soldier named Starling Carlton were uncomfortable in that they were clearly racist yet not awful enough to be rejected by the protagonist. I don't know - maybe Barry was trying to show how different kinds of people form bonds in horrible circumstances, but again, I don't see why the slaughter of Indigenous people had to take center stage and with so little pushback.

TL;DR: Days Without End is admirable mostly for its gorgeous prose and atmospheric writing. However, my enjoyment of this novel was dampened by the matter of fact slaughter of Indigenous peoples and casual racism; even if such attitudes are challenged within the book, it wasn't apparent enough for me and I don't know why Barry included these things other than for some sense of gritty realism.

[petewentzisblack1312]

Okay LOVED your answer to my prev ask now I’m interested in what some of your top favorite fob lyrics are?

an unordered list of fall out boy lyrics i love. theres going to be a lot of lines i forget just because theres so many lyrics that i get stuck on when i listen to them. im gonna skip tttyg lyrics because ive already done those

to hands between legs/to whatever it takes/to drinks in the club/to the bar/to the keys to your car/to the hotel stairs/to the emergency exit door - i love the repetition of the word 'to' in this, it really gets across the frantic blurry nature of these events. i especially love "to the keys to your car" because like, is it the keys to your car or is it to the keys, then to your car? love that ambiguity

as alone as a little white church in the middle of the desert getting burned - not a lot of pure visual imagery in fob songs but i do love when its there

romance is dead/i shot it in the chest and in the head - i could put every single inversion of a classic phrase in this list. drop a heart/break a name, or my insides are copper id kill to make them gold, or countless other lines. but i think ill just put the one and communicate that every single one of them is on this list

i love you in the same way theres a chapel in a hospital/one foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door - its very clear what it means but it also has so many meanings, i love it

if you are the shores i am the waves begging for big moons - i think its really obvious that i fucking love references to things other than pop culture. its something that i definitely incorporate into my own poetry.

in the truly gruesome do we trust - the state is violence baby!

im stuck in the sunshine riptide/dancing all alone in the morning light/the sunshine riptide/you came in like a wave when i was feelin alright - i genuinely think 'sunshine riptide' is the most apt description of a manic episode i have ever heard. it really is like that.

when your stitch comes loose/i wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you - really great imagery. i actually have a drawing i did based on this, although i want to update it to make it a pin

i testify if i die in my sleep/then my life was just a killer dream - this is such a manic line. like its SUCH a manic line.

silent film stars stuck in talking cinema light - this is such a good line. like, we were what was new, and now were in this changing world and dont know how to adapt. im realising how good a line this is as i write this honestly.

tonight the foxes hunt the hounds - really simple concept but its so profound in that simplicity

letting people down is my thing baby/find yourself a new gig/this town aint big enough for two of us - love the rhyme scheme on this and the rhythm of how its sung, i also love the line itself

i thought of angels choking on their halos/get them drunk on rosewater/see how dirty i can get them/pulling out their fragile teeth and clip their tiny wings - love a good defilement of the holy.

theres definitely more but i think for now ill call it there!

[williamismyhomeboy]

Interview from www.popmusicfan.com 2005

If you only choose one new band to listen to this year, don't let it be anyone other than The Academy Is. With a brand new debut CD out on Fueled by Ramen records and a tour with labelmates Fall Out Boy and Gym Class Heroes, this band is ready to show everyone that they take their music seriously -- but still have fun while doing it. We hung out with lead singer William Beckett on the April 14th stop of their tour and somehow braved the freezing Florida weather.

How's the tour going so far? William: Well, the tour has been pretty spectacular so far. This is our first tour having had the record out and it's been really overwhelming, the response from people and from the other bands as well. We're good friends with all the bands on tour, we didn't know Silverstein until like two days ago, but they're really cool guys. But yeah, it's been great, I miss Midtown... but there's always next time. If you had to choose three bands for the ultimate tour, either to go see or to play with, who would you choose and why? William: Fleetwood Mac because I love Fleetwood Mac, they're one of the great rock bands that did it in a pop way, in a really classy way, too. Led Zepplin.. to go see or to go play with? Jennifer: Either one. William: Oh, yeah, it'd be the same anyway. Pink Floyd, I wouldn't want Pink Floyd because it'd be bad to play with them, they're just too conceptionally profound. Their show is far too extravagant, we'd look like amateurs. Jennifer: Well, if you were just going to see them... William: Oh, yeah, so Pink Floyd. What are your pet peeves about the other guys in the band? William: I've never been asked this before, this is interesting. Yeah, there's a lot. It's a cool thing about being in the band, you never spend that much time with anyone ever. Even married couples don't spend that much time together and that's not even just one on one, that's seven or eight dudes sleeping on a bus. So yeah, we have our differences, just being different people, having different personalities. One day we'll be in a bad mood, one day we'll be in a good mood, one day someone will smell bad and we won't, you know... But for the most part, it's a really brotherly love/hate relationship like most brothers and sisters. For us, we're like a family, the way that we sort of stick it through, for the most part. If you found out you were adopted and you had two celebrities as your birth parents, who would you want them to be and why? William: Wow, I haven't been asked these questions before, this is really cool. If I found out I was adopted... do they have to be like during the same time? Jennifer: Nope, whoever. William: For a mom, I'd probably go with Audrey Hepburn and I'd probably go with... this is tough. I should pick someone like Abe Lincoln or someone crazy. Yeah, I'm gonna pick George Bush. Jennifer: Which one? William: GW, I'm gonna pick GW. Jennifer: Do you like Bush? William: I don't want to talk about it. But his kids seem to have a good time. [everyone laughs] Jennifer: True! William: Right? So there we are.

What's the most embarrassing CD you have in your collection? William: Well, I have a lot of guilty pleasures, stuff most people would think is like, 'What?' Like Rod Stewart and Prince, a lot of stuff that you guys probably don't like or listen to. But my first hip hop CD that I ever bought was Ginuwine so bad. Jennifer: That's not that bad, it could be worse! William: No way, that's so bad, that's so terribly bad. Jennifer: What about Sisqo or something? William: Well, that's... wait, is that you? Jennifer: No! [everyone laughs] Well, I do have his CD, but it's from like seventh grade! William: Yeah, Ginuwine... well, Sisqo's probably worse. But at any rate, I'm a big opera fan, too. That's not really an embarrassing thing, but yeah. Jennifer: Have you seen Phantom of the Opera? William: Yeah! Jennifer: Was it good? William: Uh, no. I've seen the actual opera before... Jennifer: I did, too! On Broadway? William: Yeah! And it's amazing, I was raised on the Andrew Lloyd Webber performance disc and then I saw the movie and it was cool, but they changed some lines and it was just really Hollywood. The singing wasn't great, all the actors actually sang so it was cool but they just didn't do it very well, I don't think. Who's the most famous person that you have in your cell phone? William: Probably, like... I don't like name dropping. Jennifer: You can do it, we'll forgive you. William: [laughs] I should make a joke... Pete Wentz, and that's a joke, but Pete's getting pretty famous. That I actually talk to? Jennifer: Um... yeah. Or do you have any random people in there that you just got from a friend or anything? William: Yeah, I have Jakob Dylan's number but I never use it. I have, I don't know, I don't really look for famous peoples' numbers but the most famous person I have is probably Lyor Cohen, you probably don't know who he is. He owns Warner Brothers and Electra and Atlantic. He's like a multi-billionaire and he's one of the coolest guys in the world. I've met a lot of label people before but yeah, he's probably the most admirable one. If you had to describe yourself in five words, which ones would you choose? William: Myself? I'm really bad with self description, I'm really good with self reflection and creation and song writing and things like that, but actually flat out 'this is who I am?' Honest, passionate, polite, moderately-conservative... hyphenated! And, uh, sexual. Jennifer: Oh, that's a good one! Just kidding. William: I'm actually kidding, that wouldn't be my top five. Jennifer: None of them? William: No! None of them wouldn't except for sexual. Kidding once again, there we are! There we are, just joking. So there's my four. What's the biggest purchase that you've made since getting signed and everything? William: Other than my laptop... uh, yeah, it's my new Mac G4, I don't know I feel like a nerd talking about it. But yeah, my new laptop, probably. I try to conserve, to save my money, I don't really like to spend it on a lot of things. What are one of your favorite lyrics from one of your songs? William: It's really hard because... I think you'd have to take each song for it's whole, the song in it's whole is the work, you know what I mean? But I guess in the bridge of "Down and Out," I don't know if you know which song that is, but that song is the closest to me personally. The bridge is really cool and really close to me and all of our friends, just because we name dropped all of our good friends who really helped us and who we wouldn't be here without, and a bunch of records that we were influenced by during the writing process. Like, uh, Johnny and Tony, if you know the lyrics, they started a small record label called LLR and we had our EP on there. I had a solo project in high school.. Jennifer: Wasn't that Remember Maine? William: Yeah! Wow! You did your homework. So that was sort of like the moment in my life where I was making the decision to do music versus going to school, and no one believed in me really except for me and Johnny and Tony. It was a little bit later on that Tony came into the picture but Johnny was and is my best friend and the reason why I'm here, so he helped us get our foot into the door and we've sort of had this success since then which surpassed what they did for us. But we kind of took them with us, like now Johnny is head of retail at Fueled by Ramen. We were like, 'Hey, Fueled by Ramen, this dude is awesome, pick him up!' And Tony is our tour manager, on tour with us, so it's great, it's awesome. That's pretty much the bridge. Jennifer: We were kind of talking about that last night, about how random all the names are and stuff? We were wondering about that. William: Well the song sort of starts with this story about domestic abuse and escaping and getting away from something that you're afraid of or harmed by, it's sort of really dark. But the whole essence of the song, we didn't want to just focus on that, we wanted to focus on the ups and downs of life and growing up. The second verse says a lot about that growth process and friends and coming to that realization that most of your friends in high school, you're going to have to say goodbye to relatively soon and that's something that's hard for everybody I think, to say goodbye to anyone, be it death or be it whatever someone chooses or ends up having have happen to them. But for us it's not about like finding a dark corner and hiding and blaming other people and getting angry and aggressive, it's about accepting darker times and sort of welcoming those things when they happen, you know, to better understand and appreciate the great things in your life and the people that love you. Are you okay? Jolene: Uh huh! William: You're just cold, aren't you? Do you want my jacket? Jolene: No, it's okay. William: Are you sure? Jolene: Yeah, I'm fine! William: So yeah, for us it was really fitting to make the song about more than just that instance, you know, to make it a little more well-rounded so that was just, yeah.

What's something that people would be surprised to learn about the band? William: Probably our seriousness and what we're trying to accomplish. We have a lot of fun, we do, we indulge but our main scope isn't to be a big band and get famous and get chicks, or to get drunk and do drugs and be like this icon. Like, no one will tell you that unless they're just straight up rockstars, but for us, we really want to help people and change the world in the smallest way or globally and that's really what our end of the road goal is. To transcend age, to transcend sex, to transcend race, to transcend languages. Bands like U2, bands like Pink Floyd and bands that I was talking about earlier, bands that shaped generations and shaped people. It's like, 'You're playing these indie tours, you're playing to these young kids, how are you supposed to change the world?' But for me, I see that as an opportunity also. I also want to appeal to older crowds, I want to appeal to people our age, or maybe people that are a little bit older, like twenty-six, twenty-seven years-old and I think that our record does and will once they hear it. But for the future, as we expand and grow and as our minds grow and as our musicianship and our scope and those things grow, we want to be one of those bands that can make a difference and can help people. We want to be that band that you saw when you were fourteen, like our parents loved the Beatles or whoever when they were fourteen years old and they still love them today, and they're like fifty or sixty years-old. That's the band that we're going to be, because we're going to be the band or the songwriters that stick with the generations. I think the way you do that is being fucking straight up honest and genuine and unselfish. If you write about things that are self-loathing and very trendy and very high school angst, those are the people you're going to appeal to and that's it. You know, your mom's not going to listen to a band that sings about slitting their own throat or hanging themselves or crappy metaphors that are in like, Goosebumps books, you know? I think being genuine and honest and smart and unselfish and really looking at the world in a different light... if you have a minute, I try to do this exercise every morning. I think about people's minds, in this example let's think about the musician or whoever that's on a label that's writing these lyrics, okay? I sort of think of their creative mind as a room and let's take one of these singers that sings about one of these things like self-loathing or slitting wrists or something. So they're in this room and it's totally dark, and they have this candle in front of them and it's creating this light that they can only see like three inches in front of their face. They can only relate to those three inches in front of them which is their own little isolation bubble where they can't relate to anything beyond that because they don't know it exists. So they're so wrapped in themselves, writing about how much life sucks and how much it's unfair and about how much they've been mistreated. Or also things that are very self-righteous, like, 'I'm the best, this is how you do it,' things like that. There are those people everywhere, they're in high schools, they're parenting children, they're on their death beds... they're everywhere, you know? These people, I think, especially these artists are too wrapped up in themselves to realize that there might be a wall behind them with a light switch and if you flip that switch there's this whole room around you that illuminates. And for me, that's the world around me, that's everything. That's this tree, that's you guys, that's my family back home, that's this show, these people that are here, the people that are staying at this hotel. It's how it's cold and you're cold and I'm sorry that you're cold, you know? It's the world around you. Every morning I try to wake up and turn on the light, I try to turn on my creative room light to make sure that I'm always viewing the world in the way. I think if more people did that, a lot of things could change for people in their own lives and in other people's lives. That's one of the main things that I'm trying to convey, especially in our newest stuff that we're writing for the next record, so yeah, that's sort of something that people probably don't know about me or us. Jennifer: You're awesome, I decided that. Just now. What's the strangest voicemail or answering message that you've ever received? William: Received? I've given a lot of crazy ones. Probably the strangest one I've ever received... man, it's on the spot, you got me again. I'm tongue tied. Ohhh yeah, this is awesome! [everyone laughs] There was a point when I got a lot of prank calls when people hated me and stuff, it was that stupid, like... Jennifer: Jealousy? William: Kind of, but it was before I had really any success, it was just myself going for what I believed in. Since I was doing something different and not going for a screamo band or something, so it was a big deal when I was playing an acoustic guitar and singing melodies, so it was like 'What the hell?' It was a big uproar. So I got like crazy ones like, 'You're a faggot, you should kill yourself,' stuff like that. Jennifer: That's so mean! Jolene: That's terrible! William: Yeah, but it's awesome, though. No, for real! It's so funny, I know for a fact that that person has grown up and has seen me live by example and that I went for my dream and it's totally paid off, and it's going to pay off in the future more fruitfully than ever. Instead of me feeling anger and being like, 'Fuck that guy, I hope he's burning in Hell' or whatever, I hope that he realized that the way that he was living and the fear that he had about being his own person, I hope that he turned that around, so yeah, it's kind of funny. Jennifer: What about one of the funny ones that you've left people? William: Oh, man, there were some nights that I just called people singing crazy songs that I totally made up at four in the morning, I don't even know, man. I can't really get into too much detail, there were some wild ones. I do voices, I'll be like, 'Hey, yo-a, it's Johnny from over at Auto Repairing, I got your car and it's looking sweet.' [everyone laughs] I have this British voice and this gay voice and some other shit and it's hilarious, I would leave people messages like that and not tell them who I am. What's the last movie that you saw? William: Last movie? Oh, man, that's bad, that's terrible. I had a journal that I write on the website and I actually just talked about this. I'm on this weird horror movie kick right now, and I'm into crappy old horror movies right now. Not even old, like eighties or nineties. I don't recommend them to anyone, it's like Pet Sematary and From Dusk Til Dawn. Well that's like a Quentin Tarantino movie so that's actually a good movie, but the last movie I actually watched was House of 1000 Corpses. [everyone laughs] Jennifer: Oh, God. Jolene: Did you like that? William: I think it's great! For two reasons, alright. One, it's not original by any stretch of the imagination as far as a horror film, it's like Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets something vile, you know. It's basically like Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets a strip club, that's what that movie is. But, BUT-- Jennifer: Oh, I want to hear the but, because I don't think there's any defending this movie. [everyone laughs] William: The way that the movie is edited and the way that the movie is shot, with the color contrast and the way that it looks is just fucking phenomenal. I think the movie is so cool purely because of the way that it looks and because of the cinematography of it, but I'm just a geek like that, those are the kinds of things I look for. But if we're talking about movies that are actually good, go buy Big Fish, it's a great movie. Jennifer: Is it good? I heard that it's really depressing. William: Did you? No way. Jennifer: I work at a video store and that's what everyone's told me, I haven't watched it. William: But those people that told you that mind be those people-- Jennifer: Oh, the close minded ones, yeah. William: The people with the light off! If you watch that movie it's so cool because it seriously confronts some issues like death and memories and relationships being parents and fathers and mothers and their children. I thought it was a really heartwarming movie, especially at the end. It's not this cheese fucking Hollywood ending that everyone wishes would happen but doesn't, you know, but yeah I think it's a great movie. Jennifer: Have you seen I Heart Huckabees? William: I have not, yet. Jennifer: It seems like a movie you'd like. William: I'm sure I would like it. Jennifer: It's kinda like, off the wall, it seems like one you'd like. William: My girlfriend got it and said that it was pretty cool and I'd probably like it. Yeah, I should probably get it. Jennifer: Yeah, I didn't like it that much. William: You didn't? Jennifer: I like my stupid girly movies. William: Like what? Like what? Jennifer:: Like, have you seen the Notebook? William:: I haven't seen that one yet! Jennifer: What?! It's so good. You will cry, I bet. William: I'm one of those dudes that cries in movies, like seriously. Jennifer: Everyone cries in that movie! William: Dude, I even cried in, this is so embarrassing, I even cried in A Walk to Remember. Jolene: Oh, I cried in that one. Jennifer: That movie is so sad! William: I cried like seven times in that movie ALONE, I was alone! I have a huge crush on Mandy Moore, too, like a Hollywood Crush. Jennifer: That one was really sad. William: But at the same time, you know, it's also very... Jennifer: No. William: You don't think so? Jennifer: No! She should've lived. William: But she did through him! She changed. Jennifer: I know, I know! But wouldn't it have been better if she just lived forever? William: Well, it's not Hollywood. Jennifer: I know! What's in your pocket right now? William: Like, seventeen cents in change and a guitar pic, and that's it. Oh, and my cell phone is in my jacket, if that counts. Jennifer: It counts! William: These are cool questions! Did you make them up, too? Jolene: No. [laughs] William: Maybe you should let her make some up next time! Jennifer: I tried! I was like, 'Jolene, help me think of some questions.' She said, 'We're going to do it on the way there.' Two and a half hours later, oh no, no questions. [everyone laughs]

What's in your CD player right now? William: I have an I-Pod. Jennifer: Well what's on your I-Pod that you're listening to a lot lately? William: I'm just going to be difficult. No, I have an I-Pod, sorry. [everyone laughs] I listen to tapes, I don't even have a CD player. No, uh, what am I like loving right now? I'm loving Ryan Adams right now. I'm loving Muse. Jennifer: Oh, they're so good! William: I was on this huge Muse thing and I totally forgot about it and didn't listen to it for forever. I listened to them again today and I was like, AH! I was like, [does Italian voice] yes, yes, yes, this is so good. [everyone laughs] I'm listening to a lot of Radiohead, I'm always listening to Simon and Garfunkel, I'm a huge Simon and Garfunkel fan. Prince, I'm listening to a lot of Prince, a bit of Bowie. It's sort of today's little shuffle encompassed, so that was that. What's the last concert you've went to, other than one that you've played at? William: Damn... I was at South by Southwest but I didn't see any bands, I was just wandering throughout the streets. Last time I was at a show, watching bands... oh, yeah! it was an acoustic show in Chicago, it was Bob Nanna from Hey Mercedes and Justin Pierre from Motion City Soundtrack. They just played acoustic, it was really cool. What are some questions that you hate hearing in interviews? I probably should've asked you this at the beginning so I wouldn't have asked you any of them. William: [laughs] Yeah, right! There really aren't any questions that I really hate, I encourage tough questions. I enjoy people asking tough questions. Hard hitting questions or ones that are condescending because it's their right as journalists to ask those questions. I wouldn't ask somebody, 'What songs do you hate? And I won't write those.' No, I wouldn't ask anyone that, I would just write what I love and write what I want. So yeah, that's my answer. What's a question that you've been wanting an interviewer to ask you but they haven't? William: I haven't thought of one because with every interview, with a few exceptions, I've been asked new questions that I haven't heard before, like today for instance. That's enough for me to keep interested.

[arreisstorm]

I'm not going to be able to function after today. I'm going to be a melted pile of tears and happiness

Guys my heart seriously can't take much more of this...

We are getting:

A Rapline solo

A Vocal Line solo

VMIN AND NAMGI SUBUNITS

AND EVERY MEMBER OF VOCAL LINE HAS THEIR OWN SOLOS?!?

There's going to be an unhealthy amount of tears shed for every heartfelt, sincere, and emotional solo by Jimin, Jungkook, Tae, and Jin, especially since both Jungkook and Tae's are reflecting on their personal pasts, both with BTS and before, and Jin is dedicating his song "Moon" to his love for us ARMYs. A song which he sacrificed sleep for while they were filming BV. He already tells us all the time how much we mean to him, but there's something so touching about having lyrics that you know are being sang directly to you, and its lyrics he co-wrote himself with Joon too 😭

I'm not sure exactly if Jimin's is going to be a tear-jerker or not since all it says, is, it is a reflection of a different side of him, and boy, if the amount of duality he's shown us already isn't all he has, then I can't imagine what this is going to be like!

Ah yes, then we have the rapline, where we will experience a completely different arrange of emotions, as well as certain death. Those boys are brilliant alone but when they all come together, well that's just like releasing hell on earth because they are SIN. I mean if the Cyphers, Her, Tear, DDAENG, or any other legendary tracks have anything to show for this Golden Trio, it's that one can never fully prepare themselves for BTS's Rapline! And from the description of "욱" (UGH) alone, I can already tell some careers and haters are about to be demolished, and I'm 100% here for it.

Had enough yet? BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

If I have managed the impossible and escaped death so far, then that all ends here, because don't even get me started on Tae and Jimin's "친구", that song alone is going to finish the job. Not only do we get to hear them harmonizing so beautifully together, but it's also a song that they dedicated to their friendship and the journey they've been through together these past 7 years!

Jimin has always been there for Tae, from doubts and insecurities, to the death of a loved one, to life before they even debuted, these two have one of the most profound and unbreakable friendships there is. They are each other's rock and they are true soulmates. Now we get to hear them sing all about it and I am going to break down. The amount of pure love I feel from just the title is a big indication of what my heart will experience listening to it.

Oh ya, and then just about right after that is freaking Joon and Yoongi's song which is going to revive me, just to kill me all over again!

"Respect"? I couldn't even begin to think of a better word to sum up the dynamic of those two than this. They've been together from the very beginning, they started BTS as basically nothing more than rappers, and they've grown up beside each other ever since then. They've been to hell and back with all the hate and hardships, they fought and bickered in the early days, but they also learned how to rely on one another and to persevere and live out their dreams together. Although it probably felt impossible at first, and we know both struggled and continue to struggle with anxiety, depression, and darker thoughts, these two have forged a bond that could withstand the test of times, which is a very rare find for many people. As much as I love VMin, Namgi is the one whose relationship I find myself crying over the most. They might not show the same amount of skinship as the others, but the love, admiration, and respect is never in question. I swear to God if they somehow incoporate in this song the amount of years that they've lived together, like Yoongi always like to remind us of, I will lose it! 😭😭😭

Ok this post is already getting long enough and honestly I'm not sure I can even comprehend what is truly happening, so I'll leave you with this:

This album is not just another hit for BTS, it's not there just to add another trophy to the collection (although I have no doubt it will). No, MAP OF THE SOUL: 7 is a story of life, dedication, and sacrifice. It is a love letter both to ARMYs and to BTS themselves. It's a glimpse into this 7-year journey the boys have been on, and the roller coaster of emotions they've experienced along the way. I couldn't be more happy or proud to be able to stand there right by their side, hand in hand, throughout this whole process. Unfortunately I wasn't there in the very beginning, but the moment I was introduced to their music and each individual member, I never let go. I couldn't imagine a world without these 7 incredible people, and I never want to. So I'm here, the day has finally come, and I am ready to give them everything I've got. This has been years in the making and it's still only just the beginning!

LET'S GO ARMY!!!!

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

PS:

That 30 sec clip of "ON" if you haven't heard it yet....

HOLY SH-!

No one is ready.

I repeat, NO ONE IS READY!

[evie26blog]

Inspirational Artist Links: Performance Art Responses

Electric Stimulus to Face, by Daito Manabe

Manabe’s electric stimulus to the face experiment was really interesting to me. I think that this video demonstrates that although we are all unique, we are all biologically the same. Yes, we vary genetically with different conditions and so on, but our bodies function the same way. Four different people had the electrodes placed in the same spots and each one of their nerves reacted the same way to the stimuli. This point was made even more clear by the way that he synced all four videos perfectly with each other. You can watch all four people have the exact same response to the same stimuli at the same time.

Alter Bahnhof, by Janet Cardiff

When I read this description of this video it got me really excited. It was more anticlimactic than I was expecting and I think that it would be more impactful to experience firsthand. For me, the slow movement through the station failed to grab my interest and I continuously found myself getting distracted. I do believe that the concept is fascinating and I wish that I had the opportunity to experience this piece the way that it was intended to be experienced.

Bike Lanes, by Casey Neistat

I must admit that the first time Neistat ran into the construction equipment I laughed harder than I should have. It wasn’t funny to me because he was possibly injured but because I knew what he was trying to say. If he was going to get a ticket for biking outside of the designated lane when it was unsafe to do so, then he was going to plow through obstacles that were placed in those lanes. His witty, sarcastic response to an unfair ticket was pure gold in my opinion.

Legend & Queen, by Candace Breitz

What really stood out to me about these videos was the different ways that people reacted to the music. You could tell when someone was truly moved by the lyrics and when others couldn’t think of the words but still moved with the rhythm. These videos showed that music affects us all differently while bringing us together at the same time. I especially liked the way that Breitz laid out the videos. By filming thirty people’s individual reactions to the same song and then displaying them all together, the viewer is more inclined to move their focus from the entire group to then each individual over the course of an hour.

Meat Joy, by Carolee Schneemann

This video did not resonate with me at all. I understand that Schneemann’s purpose behind this piece was to fight the social norm at the time but I had a hard time identifying what those norms were. This video is more than twice as old as I am and I think that the older it gets; the more meaning is lost on younger generations. I do think that it would be interesting to watch the video with someone that lived in Paris during that time to see what their reaction would be and maybe gain some insight.

Vanessa Beecroft Interview & VB40, by Vanessa Beecroft

Beecroft’s use of the female figure as an art form is inspiring. She uses a controlled environment to display these women in a way that forces to viewer to appreciate their form. The models aren’t allowed to speak or act in any way and they can only move once tired. Each position of the body is considered art, which I think is beautiful. Beecroft uses mostly nude models to evoke a sense of discomfort in the audience; she wants them to feel unsure of how to approach her work. VB40 resonated with me because it shows these women that are all nude except for red tights and heels. To me, the nude part represented vulnerability but the bold color of the tights and the heels said power. I think that Beecroft was trying to demonstrate a woman’s ability to be both vulnerable and powerful at the same time.

The Astonished, by Bill Viola

This video resonated with me in the sense that it shows that not everyone experiences sadness and grief in the same way. Working as a CVT and helping with euthanasia almost daily, I constantly have to remind myself that everyone goes through these emotions differently. This concept has made me a more understanding person and has helped me to not jump to judgement so easily. I think that this may be the message that Viola is trying to get through to the viewers. Grief and sadness are experienced differently by everyone and there is beauty in that.

Staging, by Maria Hassabi

What resonated with me the most about this video is Hassabi’s use of space and movement. The slow movement of the performers allows the viewer to take in every detail of the body’s movements and how the environment effects the overall piece. In the video, she said that viewers reported feeling either a sense of meditation or tension. I think that for Hassabi, she gets a profound feeling of connection to her surroundings and the people performing with her. While I do appreciate her message behind the performances, I feel that I would be a viewer that experienced tension. Something about watching someone slowly move along on the floor as if no one were around would be unsettling to me.

Talking Tongues, by Lisa Steele

This video was very interesting to watch. I found the subject matter compelling and loved how Steele herself played the role. Domestic abuse is an extremely important issue and Steele’s video brings awareness to the fact that most people don’t want to deal with it. She portrays a woman that has tried multiple times to escape her abusive husband and no matter how many times she reaches out for help, she is always sent back to him. I find this video as a plea to listen to those that come forward and ask for help in these situations because not all of them will be able to share their stories as a survivor as Steele did.

Perimeter of Square, by Bruce Nauman

This video failed to resonate with me. As I watched it, I was having a hard time deciphering what Nauman was trying to get across to the viewer. I actually ended up looking the video up in order to get some insight. Nauman was demonstrating many themes but the ones that I noticed the most were repetition, body awareness and minimalism. He synced his body movements to the tempo of a metronome, which requires awareness of one’s body. I definitely think that Nauman accomplished what he wanted to in this video but it simply failed to pique my interest.

Punk Prayer, by Pussy Riot

The message behind this video resonated with me more than the delivery. I can’t imagine what it would be like to live in the conditions that these women described in their song. In this sense, I do believe that it is important to shed light on these issues and to try and make a difference. What did not resonate with me is the fact that they did this within a church. I’m not a very religious person and no longer practice but I was brought up in the Catholic church and still hold a great deal of respect for religion. I found their performance disrespectful but I suspect that the group intended to upset people by choosing a church as their setting.  

Cut Piece, by Yoko Ono

What resonated the most with me about this video was when the woman speaking throughout the video said that either way, whether or not anyone had cut the dress, it would have said something. The message would have been different if no one actually came up and cut Ono’s dress. As time went on, people started to get more comfortable with the idea of cutting pieces of her dress away and therefore people started taking larger pieces off. To me, this is an example of mankind’s herd like tendencies; one person may do something that is considered taboo but when more people follow suit, it becomes an accepted behavior.

Interior Scroll, Carolee Schneemann

This piece was intriguing to me because of Schneemann’s use of the female body. It evokes a sense of great respect for the female body as a place of creation. The photographs that show Schneemann painting herself with mud depict a oneness with nature and recognition that life comes from women. In the photographs where Schneemann is seen slowly pulling a scroll from her vagina, I believe that she is trying to say that women hold a great amount within themselves. There are so many traits that make up a woman: wisdom, strength, empathy, etc. Life on Earth would not exist without us and that is why this series of photos resonated with me.

Bound Mouth & Foot, by Kate Wingard

I really liked Wingard’s message behind this piece. I think that the use of terms that would be hurtful to a person brings awareness to the mental and emotional damage we can do to one another. I especially appreciated the way that she completely removed the word “shame” by literally stomping on it until it was unrecognizable. For me this was a message to squash the negativity that others throw at you and never let it take hold.

Wholesome, by Megan Carnrite

I found this video really interesting. What resonated with me was the idea that life will continuously throw things at us and we handle them the best we can. Whether we successfully handle a situation (swallowing) or if it becomes too much and we let things slide (food falling from Carnrite’s mouth), we are all expected to keep up the appearance that nothing ever phased us. I think that this was a beautiful metaphor for the everyday struggles of life.

Roll of a Woman, by Javid Rezvani

I found this video extremely funny. The viewer’s first reaction is that the woman is talking about sex and they continue this narrative throughout the video; even after the true topic, the fact that women do indeed poop, is revealed. I found that this witty approach could be used for so many aspects of our lives. There are so many different facets of our lives that we may know occur as humans but we never think about it happening in someone else’s life. It’s as if the artist is saying, “hey, we are all more alike than we think. Stop thinking we aren’t”.

How to Earn a Glass of Water, by Dallas Scott

I think that this video showed a great deal of human restraint. Scott demonstrated an amazing amount of willpower to be able to sit under lamps that were probably hot for just under three and a half hours, waiting for a glass of water to melt. Other species would not have demonstrated such restraint and would have left in search of an easier source of water. While I found the video a great example of a human’s will, it did fail to resonate with me on an inspirational level.

Can Knot, by Alexandra Gutierrez

I think that the message that Gutierrez is trying to portray is how we deal with life’s struggles. In most cases, they are not clearly defined as a single issue but rather are intertwined. As we struggle to pull them apart, we may attempt to put the others to the side in order to focus on one issue. This may work for awhile but eventually we’ll pull on something that pulls everything else to the surface and we are met with another knotted mess of problems. This video resonated with me because it resembled how I have dealt with issues in my past and I think that many people have experienced this as well.

[irenedonati]

Why Wanlov the Kubolor's "Swim" is the most relevant piece of content we have experienced in Ghana in a while and why we should talk about it.

Wanlov The Kubolor, Ghanaian rapper, songwriter, producer, video maker, and performance artists  recently released a new video and a song called “Swim." 

I don't want to spend too much time talking about who decided, for instance, to report the content on Instagram because their susceptible soul was insulted by the nudity portrayed in the video. Can we blame people for not understanding? Or should we blame a system that keeps brainwashing people through religion and politics so they do their dirty job for them of silencing any voice that sounds too loud?

I realized that we shouldn't draw more attention to ignorance: as Eckhart Tolle says — “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” So I am not going to spend time strengthening ignorance; I will spend time on what deserves attention, strength, and power.

I have admired Wanlov's work for many years, way before we connected in real life, and now I am able to understand him more as well as explore his energy. I consider him a friend and an ally in the fight for human rights, especially LGBTQ and women’s rights.

I feel Wanlov’s work is becoming more profound and even more fascinating. I recently had some long conversations about him with a friend who is a performance artist. We started tracking analogies that helped me explore the beauty of Wanlov's work and message.

After days of research, thinking, and re-writing from different angles, I realized that we could compare Wanlov’s work to many performance artists who used their bodies to make political statements. I am not comparing to validate. Wanlov doesn't need validation. It is however quite interesting to realize that artists from very different backgrounds and circumstances have ended up using a similar form of expression for related messages or fights. Again, I am not comparing to validate but to show how far from mental freedom those who keep finding offense in a meaningful artistic expression are.

Even though it's an unusual type of performance I watch "Swim" and I think "SOMETIMES DOING SOMETHING POETIC CAN BECOME POLITICAL AND SOMETIMES DOING SOMETHING POLITICAL CAN BECOME POETIC," which is text from the inspiring work of Belgian artist Francis Alÿs and is a poignant description of "Swim".

"A compulsive wanderer, Francis Alÿs is known for his in-depth projects in a wide range of media including documentary film, painting, photography, performance, and video. Many of his works involve intense observation and recording of the social, cultural, and economic conditions of particular places, usually conceived during walks through urban areas".

Even though it's an entirely different performance, "Swim" is something poetic that can become political. It's also indeed political and still incredibly poetic: the statement of swimming naked in an ocean of plastic in a country that is very good at having politicians taking selfies with celebrities, but can't seem to solve fundamental issues like the filth on our streets and shores; to the tone of the voice pronouncing the lyrics; to the music.

I could stop here and you would already have enough to think about.

But I want to go deeper because Francis Alÿs performances are not directly comparable to Wanlov’s, if not by intention. Pushing an ice block through the streets of Mexico City until it melts might look extremely different from swimming naked in plastic or walking barefoot everywhere around the world, but is it that different?

Is Wanlov's use of his naked body different from Ana Mendieta's use of her nude body?

Ana Mendieta is a celebrated Cuban-born artist who used her body as a statement for her entire career. Body Art is an expression that has always forced "the audiences to partake in oftentimes violent, jarring, shocking, or unimaginable experience, asking its viewers to consider the role they were playing in the dark and uncomfortable spaces between innocent bystander and culpable voyeur."

Ana Mendieta started using her body to make statements about the political abuse of bodies of women and about rape. She used her naked body in contact with water, earth, and other natural elements (including blood) to express her pain and her rage and to denounce sexual abuse/violence.

Is it that different from what Wanlov keeps doing in the fight for women’s rights and gay rights? 

The reason why we are disturbed or moved by naked bodies in a non-sexy or non-pornographic state is that they represent the vulnerability of human nature. And we don't want to be vulnerable because vulnerability is considered a "feminine or gay issue:" Naked men are supposed to send dick pics or show their sexual power ( the wrong way ). 

Wanlov is swimming naked in a polluted ocean. Wanlov is making his body look more feminine with clothes and makeup to dissolve gender roles. Wanlov is not afraid to show his naked body in a non-sexual way. People will whisper: "He must be gay," or comment on social media “Stop being gay.”

Is he so different from artists like Ana Mendieta swimming naked in her "Ocean Bird" performance? And is Mendieta applying male facial hair on her face different from Wanlov using makeup and jewelry and clothes to deconstruct gender?

Untitled (Facial Hair Transplant), Ana Mendieta, 1972 Source: Galerie Lelong 

Wanlov: backstage “Mr. Casanova” 2020 - Shooting in Madrid w/Alvar Alonso

The "vagina has always  expanded opportunities to unravel the feminine mystique and multiple voices as a loud and reverberating denouncement of the traditional male gaze." But this was 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago when this work could simply not be produced by a man. 

We have now learned that the intrinsic definition of gender is an issue. So can’t a man use his body to make a similar statement and, at the same time, help to protect the over-sexualization of female bodies, which is an unintentional consequence of some expressions of the feminist movement?

Can a vulnerable male body be leveling the playing field and help to break gender barriers? I have no doubt that Wanlov’s body is carrying a feminist message.

We are recently learning that a body is no more the expression of gender. Trans women and men have taught us that you can be born in a body and not be what that body supposedly represents. In this scenario, Wanlov's sexual life and orientation shouldn’t be the subject of the conversation.

Still, somebody always tries to make it the only part of the conversation so that we don't focus on the critical message.

I am even more keen to believe that Wanlov's work is genius and authentic because of his spontaneity and because, like many true artists, he does it because he feels it, not consciously thinking of all the layers that I am now deconstructing.

"Swim" is offending people because it's telling us in a raw and familiar way that we are bystanders and voyeurs in the destruction of the Ghanaian shores, nature, forests, and with them, the people, the cultures and the dignity of many human beings.

And so it's easy for people just to dumb him down as the weird guy who walks barefoot and without underwear and showed his penis on TV, so they convince themselves that he's not a great artist, but just a controversial lunatic. I find it funny (non-literal please) that we still think we have to use the adjective “controversial” to define artists. All artists should endeavor to be controversial enough to spark a conversation. Or should music artistes simply be “yes” people?

What about being barefoot as an artistic expression? Being barefoot, besides being part of almost all traditional cultures (definitely apart from the Inupiats), is a symbol of innocence and pure energetic exchange with the earth. There's a reason why saints, gurus, and spiritual leaders are usually portrayed barefoot. 

And let’s not forget the children as well. I think Wanlov's inner child vibrates very high.

The same people who are offended by nudity will never understand that walking barefoot is not an action supposed to make them laugh. In a recent conversation with Wanlov, he randomly said something that almost blew me away and sparkled the idea of Wanlov being a Synesthetic artist. 

Could it be that his walking barefoot and continuously experiencing the world with an uncovered part of his body is transferred in his art in a synesthetic way?

Are his music, poetry, performances result of sensations that travel through the constant contact of his skin with the earth?

Is he a sort of superhuman because he's been able to feel and experience the world in ways that we ordinary human beings cannot?

But being myself a believer of energy exchange with the Universe, I find an act of extreme courage the ability to allow yourself to feel so much, especially in a world where desensitization and detachment are a new way of surviving. Preservation at a maximum level is what is guiding individuals who hide behind ridiculous concepts of self-care and self-expression to justify any selfish and stupid act.

Is this form of body art telling us that our level of detaching ourselves from the Universe is indeed creating monsters and destroying human interconnections?

Is he so different from artists like Regina Jose Galindo and her work "Quien puede Borrar las huellas," in which she walks barefoot whit his feet soaking in blood to criticize Guatemalan violence coming from the misconception of morality and gender?

Why is Wanlov's use of his body barefoot with makeup and female clothes and jewelry not awarded and glorified as the Galindo one at art Biennales, as the men who uses his body to criticize the abuse on women and members of the LGBTQ community in Ghana? Is it because he's not a woman? Is it because he's not gay? So he has to be considered funny or weird or crazy?

And I could write for another day if we decided to start talking about his music, his lyrics, and his music videos.

Because Wanlov comedy is Monty Python's deep. I hardly laugh for more than a couple of seconds, and, after a couple of seconds, I squeeze my face, and I think "sheeeit that was deep."

If I have to draw another parallelism, imagine Dave Chapelle barefoot, in a skirt, with makeup and jewelry sending low blows to politicians, religious leaders, foolish humans, and useless institutions. 

And using Pidgin English to dignify a language that could unify the African population, being at the same time hilarious but extremely serious. 

My point: you have not seen anyone like this. And that’s why the way this Ghanaian artist is underestimated is highly disturbing.

I wish we lived in a world where people had the chance to be more receptive to something different and not classified in categories created to make us feel comfortable.

Being attacked for saying truths people don't like to confront and not conforming to what I’m expected to say as a woman in the presence of men and “bosses" has cost me professionally and emotionally. I feel slightly deformed by the systematic punishment put in place via a very subtle system of oppression perpetrated equally by men and women. I had gone into hiding because I felt my courage and vocals chords shrink. So when I see a fellow human being with the courage to keep their voice loud and stay principled no matter what, I can't avoid feeling deep admiration, gratitude, and love.

Thank you Emmanuel Owusu Bonsu aka Wanlov the Kubolor. We need more people like you in the world, and we need more people in the world to know about you.

( Thank you, Guildor Gallo, for the conversation that inspired my words. http://guildor.com/  )

[lostinkoreantranslations]

Red Velvet “So Good” Lyrics Breakdown + Translation

빛을 등진 커튼 사이 작은 바람결에 살랑이는 몸짓 Oh I love 까만 실루엣도 좋아 난 말이 막힐 만큼

빛 - light, ray, beam, twinkle, glow, gleam

~을/를 - object particle

등 - back, position, ranking

지다 - to fall, to sink down/into, to settle

V + ~는 - used to turn verbs into present tense direct modifiers (ex.: 읽는 책 - the book that is being read)

커튼 - curtain

사이 - gap, space, relationship

작다 - to be small, to be little

V + ~ㄴ/은 - used to turn descriptive verbs into adjectives

바람결 - rumor, hearsay, gossip, (lit.) movement on/of the wind

~에 - time/location particle

살랑살랑 - onomatopoeic word for “gently” (typically used to describe how things move in the wind)

~이는 - attaches to nouns in order to prep them to be modified by a following verb/verb phrase (이는 —> ~이다 + ~는)

몸짓 - gesture, motion

(새)까맣다* - black

실루엣 - silhouette

~도 - also, too, even

좋다 - to be good, to be nice, to be fine

~은/는 - topic particle

말 - word, speech, language, term, expression

~이/가 - subject particle

막히다 - to be stopped up, to be clogged, to be blocked

V + ~ㄹ/을 만큼 - as much as [verb].../to the point of being [verb]...

Think of this as an adverb phrase of sorts since it’s used to describe another verb when 만큼 is sandwiched between two verb [(ex.: 많을 만큼 필요없어. - I don’t need much. (NOTE: This is not the most natural way to say that; I used this specific wording, though, to help illustrate this point since those are very common words that are most likely very familiar to you.)]

Translation: Between the light beams slipping past the curtain / The dust dances in the gentle breeze of your movement / Oh I love even your darkened silhouette / It’s so perfect, I’m speechless

* - In Korean, colors are descriptive verbs.

좀 더 멀리 아니 깊이 내 머릿속을 헤엄치고서 아득히 퍼진 이 느낌 뭐였니 사랑이라는 이름이 맞겠지

좀 - few, little; contraction of 조금

더 - more, further, farther, again, another

멀리 - far (away)

아니다 - to not be

깊이 - depth, deep, deeply

~의 - possessive particle (내 —> 나 + ~의)

머릿속 - in one’s head

머리 - hair, head

속 - inside, in

헤엄치다 - to swim

~고서 - so, therefore, thus

아득히 - far off, vaguely

퍼지다 - to spread, to flare out, to go around

��� - this

느낌 - feeling, sense, sensation

뭐 - what, something

~이다 - to be

~니 - informal/casual question ending

사랑 - love

~(이)라는 - used to either refer to something by its name (i.e.- “...[thing] that is called…”; ex.저기 길에 “다이소”이라는 가게가 있습니다. - There’s a store called “Daiso” over on that street.) or to discuss an abstract concept & its characteristics (ex. 남들이 사랑이라는 너무 힘들은데 제일 쉬운 것은 한다고 말해요. - People say that love is difficult but that it’s the easiest thing to do.); this is a contraction of ~(이)라고 하는

이름 - name

맞다 - to be right, to be correct, to prove true

~지 - informal/casual question ending (typically used when asking a rhetorical question)

Translation: A little further, no, deeper / Until my head is swimming / What is this feeling taking over me? / It must be love, right?

스며든 그 향기가 좋아 이 기분이 좋아 가까이 와

스며들다 - to soak (in), to permeate, to penetrate, to infiltrate, to pervade, to sink

그 - that, the, he, his

향기 - scent, perfume, fragrance, aroma

기분 - feeling, mood

가까이 - close, nearby

오다 - to come, to visit, to show up

Translation: I love the way your scent lingers / I could get used to this feeling, come a little closer

이미 빠져들어 고요한 파도가 쳐 넌 나에게로 (가득 번지고) 난 뛰어들어 (맘은 넘쳤어)

이미 - already

빠져들다 - to fall (into)

고요하다 - to be quiet, to be tranquil, to be peaceful, to be still, to be placid

파도 - wave

치다 - to hit, to strike, to surge, to undulate, to smack, to punch, to slug, to slap, to beat

~에게 - “to/toward” particle

~(으)로 - means by which/method particle (think: “for,” “by,” “toward,” etc.)

가득 - full, to capacity

번지다 - to spread, to run, to grow, to escalate

V + ~고 - “and” connective used with verbs

뛰어들다 - to run, to dash, to rush, to dive/plunge into

맘 - heart, feeling, mind; contraction of 마음

넘치다 - to overflow, to brim over, to explode with/into, to flood

Translation: I’ve already fallen for you / Like a calm wave rolling in / You come to me (Wash over me) / I’m diving in headfirst (My heart’s overflowing)

온전히 깊은 울림인 걸 귓가를 간지럽혀 넌 나를 채워 (맘은 넘쳤어) Um 이대로 so good so good to me

온전히 - in full measure, wholly

깊다 - to be deep, to be bottomless, to be profound, to be strong, to be serious

울림 - echo, reverberation

~인 - contraction of 이는 (see above)

V + ~는 것 - pattern used to turn verbs into direct modifiers of nouns

걸 - thing, contraction of 것을

귓가 - rim of the ear

간지럽히다 - to tickle

채우다 - to fill in/up, to pack, to stuff, to satisfy, to complete, to fulfill, to fasten, to lock

이대로 - as it is, like this, in this way

Translation: Like an endless echo ringing in my ears / You fill me up (My heart’s overflowing) / Um, just like this, you’re so good, so good to me

들뜬 나를 어루만져 그 손길 난 사로잡혀 (oh 나를)

들뜨다 - to be excited

어루만지다 - to pat, to soothe, to stroke, to comfort

손길 - touch

사로잡히다 - to be caught alive, to be taken captive, to be seized, to be fascinated by

Translation: You keep my feet on the ground / I’m a prisoner to your touch

잉크같이 한 방울씩 하루하루 번져가는 너 점점 난 너라는 짙은 색을 입어가 때로는 은은히 모르는 새

잉크 - ink

~같이 - same as; derived from 같다 (to be similar to, to be equal, to be identical, to be the same as)

한 - modifying form of 하나

방울 - drop

~씩 - attaches to counters to indicate/highlight that the thing/action being counted will be split into the quantity specified by any number preceding the counter

하루 - day

하루하루 - day by/after day

번져가다 - to go spread/grow out (번져가다 —> 번지다 + 가다)

점점 - gradually, increasingly, little by little, bit by bit

짙다 - to be deep, to be dark, to be heavy, to be dense, to be thick

색 - color

입다 - to dress, to put on, to wear (입어가다 —> 입다 + 가다)

때로는 - occasionally, sometimes, in some cases, at times

은은히 - indistinctly, delicately, dimly, faintly, distantly

모르다 - to not know, to not understand, to not be aware of, to be ignorant

새 - time, span, gap, space, distance

Translation: Just like ink, drop by drop, everyday you’re spreading / Bit by bit until I’m covered in you / Sometimes without me even knowing

이 시작은 중요하지 않아 오직 지금이야 끌리잖아 woah

시작 - beginning, start

중요하다 - to be important, to be significant, to be crucial, to be critical, to be vital, to be momentous

V + ~지 않다 - verb pattern used to negate verb

오직 - only, solely, alone, exclusively

지금 - (right) now, present moment

끌리다 - to drag, to be drawn to, to be attracted by

~잖아 - particle denoting one’s previous awareness or knowledge of something (think “you/I already did/knew”)

Translation: How we got here isn’t important / All that matters is right here, right now, I’m spellbound

말해줘 여러 번 여러 번 너도 내게만 속삭여 yeah

말하다 - to speak, to talk, to tell, to express, to communicate

V + 주다 (to give) - used to soften a command into a request when used with/after another verb

여러 번 - many times

속삭이다 - to (be a) whisper

Translation: Tell me, over and over, again and again / Just whisper it to me

요동치는 머릿속은 (속은) 너로 가득 차서 정신없고 (없고) 감출 수 없게 해 난 너를 원해 퍼져가 흘러든 감정 벗어날 수 없어

요동치다 - to fluctuate, to shake, to jolt, to rock, to roll, to pitch

차다 - to be full of, to be filled with

~서 - so, because; contracted form of 그래서

정신 - mind, spirit, soul, consciousness

없다 - to not have, to not exist

감추다 - to hide

V + ~ㄹ/을 수 없다 - to be unable to do

V + ~(으)게 - future tense verb pattern (can only be used in first person; add “~요” to make it more polite)

하다 - to do

원하다 - to desire, to want, to wish, to hope, to long for

흘러들다 - to flow in, to pour in, to empty into, to find one’s way into

감정 - feelings, emotion, sentiment

벗어나다 - to get out, to free, to break away, to rid oneself of

Translation: In my scattered mind (In my mind) / It’s so filled with you, for my senses there’s no room (No room) / I’m not gonna hide it, I only want you / My feelings keep growing, I can’t escape

이미 깊이 빠져 마음에 나를 맡겨 넌 나에게로 (가득 번지고) 난 뛰어들어 (맘은 넘쳤어)

빠지다 - to fall out/in, to deflate, to drain

맡기다 - to leave, to check, to deposit, to put, to assign, to entrust

Translation: I’ve already fallen so hard, I’m giving into my heart / Just come to me (Wash over me) / I’m diving in headfirst (My heart’s overflowing)

온전히 작은 숨결은 또 (숨결은 또) 귓가를 간지럽혀 넌 나를 채워 (맘은 넘쳤어) 이대로 so good so good to me

숨결 - breath, breathing

또 - again, once more, also, too, as well

Translation: Even your tiniest of breaths (even your breath) / Rings in my ears / You fill me up (My heart’s overflowing) / Um, just like this, you’re so good, so good to me

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[madamrogersstorytelling]

Fan Fiction Ask Game

@suchatinyinfinity tagged me some time ago, and since I really couldn’t decide which ones to answer to, I took all of them! Yes, I really did. Worry about me... This is going to be a long post, so I’m putting everything under the cut and tagging some of my fellow writers at the bottom. I also am going to answer with all of my fics and not only one of them, that way you can get more perspective. 

Thank you for reading!

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

I’m not going to answer about how I named one fic, I’m telling how I usually name my fics. Most of them get their titles if I listen to a song and it has a nice name or a line, sometimes I read quotes or just think of a word and taste it for long enough to decide could it be the title. Sometimes I read the piece before naming it and decide a line it has as a title; this can be seen in most of my drabbles. The title can be found. With my current series Aura, Of New Beginnings, You, Dark Passion Play and I’ll Make a Man Out of You; they either got their titles from the names of the characters, aspects of the story or songs. 

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Actually, You. Not all of it, but most of the first chapter is. I took some artistic freedoms to describe some things but it indeed is inspired by my very shitty day during last December. Some of my friends know about this, it was horrible. But the young man at the stoplights (who looked really different from Ben but still) still inspires me very much.

C: What member do you identify with most?

Member... This question confuses me, all in all. I identify with a lot of things and can really tell you as soon as someone tells me what kind of a member this question is searching for haha. 

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

I don’t really do playlist for my stories, I listen to whatever I feel like. Sometimes I want to listen to one specific song during one scene. It really depends. 

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

I’m bad at sequels. And most of my fics are not even ready, aka they’re series that will go on and on. But! One fic that possibly could have a sequel one day is Irresistible. It’s one of my favorite pieces of my own fics and it would be fun to see did the reader really catch him or not ;)

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“The knife?”

“That was Reep…”

“The apples?”

“No, I didn’t touch your apples…”

“Someone ate them while I was picking up those flowers I gave you.”

Caspian shook his head, still humming his laughs.

“Apples don’t walk away, Caspian!”

He showed you his hands as if he was surrendering. “Maybe not, but it wasn’t me.”

You pouted. “If you have to say it, you’re not telling the truth.”

“Maybe you didn’t have any apples with you on that day? I don’t remember seeing any.”

“Yeah, because you ate all of them. I was away for ten minutes!”

“Okay, I just might have eaten one…”

King of Thieves, Caspian/Reader

I think this is really sweet. I had so much fun writing this and it can really be seen, I think. I’ve always struggled with real-like dialogue, as I’ve told countless times before, but I think that with this drabble, it became quite real after all.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

It depends, really. I usually write from start to finish but if I suddenly get a scene in my head, I write it down. It’s easier for me to write from start to finish, that way I can stay on track and don’t lose the balance of what I’m doing. 

H: How would you describe your style?

Someone once said I have noticeable style, something that is... part of me. I guess I like descriptions? I use a lot of adjectives and different kind of sentences; long and short, both to describe and rhythm the story a little. I also like beautiful words very much haha. My style may be a bit dreamy and I like to go slowly more than quickly. Sometimes I speed things up a little, only to tell the more meaningful parts but all in all, I think I describe more than use dialogue. 

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Haha! I truly do have! Especially in writing. I love to use quotes and song lyrics in my stories as dialogues, parts of them. It’s really funny for some reason. When I read, I don’t think do I actually have a guilty pleasure. Hmm... I don’t think I have?

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

Goodness! Well, ok, let’s take Irresistible again...

Billy either left without leaving a single note or... Maybe he didn’t leave at all? I almost wrote that he stayed but... Then I thought of the note and I let that come to the story. Well, we can always play ;)

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Something that had to do with Billy having to kill the reader either because the death was inevitable or because he had been told to. I’ve tried to think of this but as I have felt a bit bad myself, writing angst hasn’t really been on the top of my mind right now. Maybe one day?

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Sometimes more and sometimes less. I often read it twice; once right after reading and then I let it be for a moment, I got to eat or take a shower or play with my cat for a while and then come back to read it. You kind of become blind to your own text; I still have typos, I’m not saying that but it’s easier to see everything that needs to be corrected or revised before posting. Once or twice, usually.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Not more than I will never probably get it done because I keep getting stuck haha!

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

Not at the moment. Even though, I always love to see people writing something I’ve talked about with them.

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

The plot, usually. The characters come with it. While writing fanfiction, I kind of have some characters “ready to use”. The reader creates itself. I try to describe them as little as I can, so everyone can relate to them, which is why I go with the plot and not with the characters. But with something like Aura I try to get the plot with the character or the other way around. 

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

I’m more like “one rose is my whole garden” type of person. I make some plans and write down some important plot points but for me, planning the whole thing from chapter to chapter and all the way to the ending kind of means it’s written already. Then I don’t even write it. So, I try not to let my ideas die with something like this but every time I get some important plot points in mind, I write them down because I’d forget them otherwise.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I have nothing against them. Collabs are just fine. Although, they can get a bit hard, can’t they? You need to have very profound talks about what you want to write and what should happen and all. It can get stressful. But it would also be very interesting thing to write! I’ve actually talked about one of these with one person once. 

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Sure. And I think that to be a writer, you have to have influences. You know what I mean? To see different ways to do some things and how the person X does this thing - but the person Y does it differently, so I’ll do it like this. You know what I mean? 

The people I’m going to tag (also the one that tagged me) all have some kind of influence on me, in good. 

My favorite writers, I’ve tried to learn something from them. Stephen King, Marcus Zusak, Joël Dicker, Tolkien, Rowling, Lewis, Wynne-Jones, all of them. 

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I’m not good at this trope thing anyway, I think. I don’t even think about them too much. But, you know, I just opened a list and I definitely can say that there are some I reallyreallyreally like hahah!

Shapeshifting is always nice, all kinds of AUs are really close to my heart, crossovers are fun, timetravel, fix-it is my go to... I have quite a lot of these!

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Hmmmpf... I don’t like to say I don’t stand something, these are just things I’m not exactly a fan of.

I’ve always been bad at anything that has to do with comedy (I’ve only recently learned to live and watch comedy films, I used to hate them a few years back), so maybe... crackfics? Ok, good crack makes me cry my eyes out because I’m laughing so much but it’s pretty hard trope for me. 

I’m also either so decent (or at least try to think I am, which is a lie, I’m far from it haahah) or old-fashioned that I’m very bad at PWP as well.  

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

@padfootagain she writes so good fluff! You can always trust that whatever she writes will cheer you up - and I often read her fics if I feel a bit down. She’s also one of my closest friends.

@something-tofightfor I love her way to tell the stories, her characters. I enjoy her style a lot. And she is also very cute human being.

@banditthewriter quite a lot like with the previous. I like the way she develops her stories and characters and always gives us something to wait for. She also seems so nice and genuine as a person. We don’t interact much but I still appreciate her a lot.

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Whoa, this is hard... This is really hard because most of the fics I read already tell the stuff I’d tell in prequels. Maybe sequel... To @padfootagain‘s A Recipe For Love, to see the life of Caspian and the reader. But I don’t even dare to touch that masterpiece!!

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Both are fine. I like prompts a lot, they help me but sometimes they also set me a trap haha! I tend to use more general ones myself and I’m fine with that. But if I find a list of some more specific ones and find it inspiring, why not?

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

WHAT?? I hate to make any character suffer!! Ok, I’m a mascohist so maybe a bit but... No, that tells that I like to make the reader suffer? Because I’m not a sadist (even though, some of my friends might say so, they always say I’m killing them, so...). 

Y: A character you want to protect.

Caspian. Ryan Brenner. Steve Rogers. Billy Russo. Yes, you read right - Billy might not need my protection, but I’m doing it anyway. Paul “Jesus” Rovia is my dearest and I’ll fight for him. Tom Ward. Magneto. Athelstan. Sirius Black. Sam Winchester. All my actor babies. There are so many of them, they’re all my babies, I want to protect all of them!! (Logan, don’t look at me like that - yes, I’m protecting you too.)

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

... I hate the fact that every time I watch a movie or a show or even read a book, it’s 100% sure that my favorite character dies. Or if not 100&, then at least 85-90%. But, the happy thing is that most of the characters are not killed in fanfiction! I can read deaths, yes, but... They’re not nice things to read. I can also write deaths, still not my fave things to do. 

Want a list of these characters? Sirius Black, Billy Russo, Logan Delos, Kili, Fili and Thorin, Steve Rogers or any of the Avengers (don’t come at me, I know we all have been thinking about this)... This list could go on and on.

Tagging: @padfootagain @jennareedus @carol-damn-vers @something-tofightfor @dylanobrusso @suchatinyinfinity @whostheblondegirlwriting @loriwrites @breanime @princerussoand everyone else who wants to do this. Sorry for the double tags.

[happymetalgirl]

Pissgrave - Posthumous Humiliation

In 2015, Philadelphia’s Pissgrave took the death metal underground by storm through the sheer filth and vile gore of their debut LP, Suicide Euphoria, whose cover alone (which consisted of a realistic photograph of human bones, feces and other liquefied remains either rotting or being dissolved in a bathtub) caught even the most seasoned death metal fans off guard, and the band’s new album’s cover photograph is somehow even more visceral. While I always include the cover art to albums I discuss, and I have included the cover to this album as well, I have chosen to move it to the bottom of this post because it is especially realistic (it is a photograph, after all) so as to not traumatize those who might be traumatized by the sight of real life gore. Chances are, if you’re into death meal and you’re reading about Pissgrave, though, you’re pretty numb to blood and guts and the gore here is probably just another of hundreds, if not thousands of abominable album covers you’ve seen. But you never know. Regardless, I did want to spend some time talking about the artwork associated with this album because it does kind of necessitate a discussion about its use of gore and real human suffering.

I don’t know exactly how the band or their management came into possession of the photograph gracing the cover of this new album, but regardless of how ethically the band obtained it, using it as an album cover came with some responsibility that I’m not quite sure was upheld as well as it could have been. While the modus operandi of death metal has largely been to revel in violence and gore in a campy or perhaps profound manner, this album cover only seems to serve to outdo the edginess of other death metal covers and that of the band’s debut. Being that this is not the usual fictional depiction of death and suffering of most death metal covers, but rather an actual depiction of the aftermath of a real life ended violently in some manner, it comes off as tasteless and indeed disrespectful to whoever this person was and the people connected to him. Yes, it sure does help the album live up to its title because it’s putting this person’s death and their mutilated body on display for entertainment. Sure, it perhaps beckons pondering of the way we view death and shy away from its gritty details and how we see certain deaths as unnatural, but aside from the song titles and the flowery album descriptions associated with it, the band and their management do nothing but revel in how bold of a move the use if the cover is. There are no lyrics to explain what the band are trying to accomplish with the album cover, so with only the titles and the album’s descriptions, there’s nothing really making this album cover anything more artistically than what it is literally, a mutilated, dead face. I do think that it’s possible that if the photograph was obtained ethically that there could indeed have been some justifiable artistic premise for its use as the cover, but Pissgrave seem content to leave it at simply “celebration of pure torment and misery”, which is essentially just death metal syntactical white noise without anything else to supplement it to give it more profound meaning (ironic given the name of the label releasing this). In other words, the band don’t really do anything with it, it’s just trying to be shocking, and again, in this genre, it really isn’t even all that shocking, just try-hard. Yes, in death metal exuding brutality and comfortability with the darkness of death is a big part of establishing credibility within it, but that doesn't mean that every artistic move for brutality's sake is justified. It wasn't excusable when Mayhem did it with Dead's suicide for Dawn of the Black Hearts in 1995, and it's not beyond reproach for Pissgrave and Posthumous Humiliation now. And criticizing it is part of keeping the genre's artistic boundaries within a healthy margin of the boundaries of ethics, so as to minimize and avoid as much as possible the types of atrocities that made early 2nd wave Norwegian black metal scene so deservedly notoriously condemned (yes, a lot of those main figures were very fucked in the head and even if they produced some great art, the means and the lives they lived to do so were not always justified). I'm not trying to say this is on the level of activity that Varg's murder of Euronymous or even the entire NSBM scene is; I'm just trying to say that even though death metal strives to push artistic boundaries and use gore for art, there are still boundaries worth respecting because it is still an art. If anything, perhaps the silver lining of the tactless use of this photograph is a reminder to those involved in making dark art to be tactful with the use of sensitive material such as this. Anyway, with that out of the way, on to the music of this album, because I sure do enjoy it.

Posthumous Humiliation is hardly any different from its predecessor stylistically; it's a chaotic, storm of gratuitous drum fills, blast beats, atop downward spiraling tremolo guitar work akin to that of Portal's Ion, and harsh growled vocals sounding as though they're coming through a pillow or a static-y air control radio. The description the band/label give the album is indeed accurate; it's a deep indulgence in all of the sonic depravity that death metal is built on and continues to build on. However, from the moment I heard the first single and opening track, the furiously ripping “Euthanasia”, I knew it was going to be an at least somewhat more accomplished album musically. The dizzying lead guitar work, tinged with black metal tritone dissonance, was a lot more vibrant and confident, much less hurried than what was on Suicide Euphoria, as well as being more prominent and less buried beneath the barrage of sound the rhythm section drums up.

While it's possible to go into the nitty gritty details of the appeal of each song on here, this is the kind of album whose entire sonic style is either too ridiculously gross, guttural, or incomprehensible to be your style, or it's exactly the spice you need among all the polished death metal in your listening rotation.

There is variety to be found amid the merciless madness of Posthumous Humiliation, faster and slower aspects of the instrumentation to juxtapose each other amid the dense, debris-filled winds of the album's ethos as a whole, and indeed plenty of time during which everything is being fired at full power at full speed. While initial listens will definitely hide a lot of the nuance this album does have and make most of the album come off as one big sickening death metal mess, closer, repeated listens show what each of the individual songs do have to offer that the others don't and what justifies their separation into different tracks as opposed to being lumped into a homogeneous single 43-minute piece.

The second song, "Canticles of Ripping Flesh", is a faster, more straightforward death metal tune with a lot of early Cannibal Corpse influence behind it that the band works rather well with, and the songs "Into the Deceased" and "Posthumous Humiliation" take faster, old-school death amd thrash metal approaches and twist them through warped modern sadism and black metal nihilism with the wall of sound the band conjures. Meanwhile songs like "Emaciated" and album's third, "Funeral Inversion", show some of the band's versatility as the latter rides lower drum tempos (albeit supplemented by plenty of double-bass) over slightly down-tuned guitars in a more subtly menacing manner, which the subsequent, ominous "Catacombs of Putrid Chambers" expands on with it s ride cymbal-driven and classic-thrash-chugger-inspired palm-muted groove of its attack.

The closing track, “Rusted Wind”, with its less-supplemented, slowed down guitar lead outro is a bit underwhelming, but it doesn’t completely undo the stormy, gory vibe the album builds up beforehand. Overall, though, Posthumous Humiliation is the satisfyingly disgusting follow-up Suicide Euphoria deserved. It's not by any means a tremendous leap in quality that accomplishes much of anything new for Pissgrave, but it's a good way foe the band to prove that Suicide Euphoria was neither a fluke, nor a flash in the pan, and that their creative well is still flowing with indulgent death metal depravity. While the underuse of the cover photograph does shed some blemish on the artistic motive of this album, I am willing to give the band the benefit of the doubt that it was just a miscalculated move to up their aesthetic that stepped outside the bounds of tastefulness (and hopefully not good ethics) by accident.

Mezmerizingly gross/10

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Close your eyes for a second as you’re scrolling past this if realistic gore doesn’t sit well with you.

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Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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[profoundnet]

Profound Member Post - October 2018

Header by @pantydean and is available on merch from her redbubble store. You can use all those fancy emojis(and more!) on our Discord Server!

The Masterpost is open for all creations by ProfoundBond members which are posted in entirety during that month.

MEMBER CONTRIBUTIONS FOR OCTOBER 2018!

Masterpost below the cut.

Darmys - @darmysasagiri​ - Darmys

Not in Kansas Anymore

Summary: Sareno Dean Winchester answers to no one. Born to a powerful House on the storm wracked mining planet Kansas, he and his brother Sam have grown up strong and independent. The only person that holds their respect is the enigmatic Bobby Smith, Master of the martial arts academy where they train.

When alien bounty hunters kidnap Bobby, Dean throws away the life he knew and sets out—with Sam and Baby—to rescue his mentor, no matter how far they have to travel through known space.

Tags:  Alternate Universe - The Highroad Trilogy, Alternate Universe - Space Opera, Past Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Past Dean Winchester/Nick Munroe, Robot!Baby, Canon-Typical Deaths, Canon-Typical Violence, Attempted Sexual Assault (Not Involving Our Main Characters), Period-Typical Racism, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2018

SFW

JessJesstheBest - @saywhatjessie​ - JessJesstheBest

Fucking Hollywood

Summary: 

“Okay…” he started, aware that the only way out of this conversation was through. “So I admit, I don’t know a whole lot about,” he gestured vaguely at Sam. “That. But me, personally, I have a hard time telling the difference between romantic and platonic love.” 

“So like aromanticism.” “No, what?” Dean glanced at Sam who was looking at him weirdly. “I don’t know. But one of the only ways I know how to confirm the difference is with sex.” Or the boys have a discussion about media theory and Dean learns a new word.

Tags: Fluff are!Dean, Bi!Dean (I mean obviously Dean is bi but he's actually explicitly aro in this so, Human AU, Sam's at Stanford, John is dead, Aromantic Dean Winchester, 

SFW

waywarded - waywarded

Discoveries

Summary: Dean and Cas are in a relationship and Dean is being too considerate for Cas's liking with making sure they don't take things too fast in the bedroom. Experimentation on what turns Castiel on ensues.

Tags: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Romance, Fluff, Sexual Content, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Cute, Kissing, Making Out

NSFW

ultimatetrollcolinfirth - @ultimatetrollcolinfirth 

Destiel Art Round Up Oct 2018

Summary: A round up of my Destiel based creations, mostly for inktober. Tags: Destiel, Inktober 2018, 

Link to art piece #1, Link to art piece #2

SFW

ultimatetrollcolinfirth - @ultimatetrollcolinfirth - LeafZelindor

Dean’s Weakness

Summary: Profound Bot prompt Challenge

Dean just saw Cas getting out of the shower. Cas is Dean's win. Sam is likely a leviathan.

In which Creature Sam figures out some important information about Dean Winchester.

SFW

amandacanzo - amandacanzo

Sweet Surprise

Summary:  Dean is a great baker, but perhaps not the best communicator. When Dean had an embarrassing accident in his bakery (Sam’s fault), he left a lasting impression on Dr Castiel Novak, who had the pleasure of stitching up Dean’s asscheek.

When Cas comes to Dean’s bakery with Anna to order a wedding cake, Dean figures that Cas is getting married.

While Dean’s happy to have a new friend, it’s instantly clear to him he can’t keep his feelings in check. Especially when Cas is super affectionate and seems to be treating each hang out as a date.

On top of everything, Dean still has to make what he thinks is Cas’ wedding cake.

DCBB 2018

Tags: Baker Dean Winchester, Doctor Castiel, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending, AU 

NSFW

Accompanying art by @abaddon-all-hope​

alessariel - alessariel

A Promise At Sunrise

Summary: “Dude, don’t look now, but there’s another guy wearing the same costume as you!” Charlie daintily sipped her drink while Dean nearly spat out his beer. What starts with a similar costume rapidly turns into the most amazing one-night stand Dean's ever had. Cas is funny, gorgeous, mysterious and really knows how to use his... wings. Among other things. Dean made Cas promise to stay the night and watch the sunrise with him, but he finds himself hoping that Cas will stay a lot longer than that.

Tags: Alternate Universe, Halloween, Creature Fic, Creature Castiel, Costumes, Smut, Fluff, A little bit of angst, just a tiny bit, Bottom Dean, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester

NSFW

blueeyesandpie - @blueeyesandpie​

Destiel Gifset 

Summary: A gifset of key early-Cas moments that establish his loyalty/connection to Dean, set to the lyrics of Simon & Garfunkel's Kathy's Song.

Tags: dean winchester, castiel, gifsets, destiel, kathy's song, season 4, season 5

SFW

pingnova - @pingnova​ - pingnova

Don’t Kill The Messenger

Summary: Father Castiel Novak investigates miracles for the Vatican. While it’s disheartening when they all end up fakes, he continues his relentless pursuit in the name of faith and science. After a particularly convincing case in Brazil is taken from him, he’s reassigned to a believer in New York City who’s blessed with the wounds of Christ. Except, Dean Winchester turns out to be no believer, and he and Castiel have very different ideas of what constitutes a divine gift.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Hurt Dean Winchester, Priest!Castiel, Possession, Angst, Gore, Temporary Major Character Death

SFW

Accompanying art by SketchyDean

gouinette parle trop - @artbloggouinetteparletrop​ 

Collection of Fan Art Made Through SUPTOBERART 

Summary: MASTERPOST for the art I created during suptoberart 2018

Tags: destiel, destiel fan art, wayward sisters, suptoberart 2018, spn fanart

SFW

MalMuses - @malmuses​ - MalMuses

Something in the Fog

Summary: Finally settling into some semblance of normalcy after Cas comes back from the Empty, Sam finds a case up in New England. In one historic town, people are losing their minds and drowning themselves in a nearby river. Sam and Dean set off alone, only to quickly call Cas to their aid when they realize that the unnerving town of Dunwich is hiding far more than your average witch or ghoul. Drawn into investigating a cult that worships a being far beyond their comprehension, Team Free Will doesn’t understand quite how much danger they are in... Fic posted for SPN Eldritch Bang.

Tags: Dub Con (Possession), Further Clairification of Dub Con Tag in the Appropriate Chapter, Cults, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Miscommunication, Eldritch Horror, Angst with a Happy Ending

NSFW

MalMuses - @malmuses​​ - MalMuses

Without A Trace

Summary: When Sam disappears during a hunt gone horribly wrong, Dean and his angel Castiel follow a trail of clues that lead them back through Sam’s past. Will Dean be able to save Sam from his history – and will Cas be able to save Dean from himself? Nothing is a simple as it seems for Dean and Cas. Luckily, they have some great friends (and unexpected allies) willing to help them through it. (WIP fic that finished posting this month.)

Tags: Canon Verse, MCD (temporary), Slow Burn, Smut, Fluff, Plot Twists, Torture, First Dates, Drowning, Kidnapping, BAMF!Cas, Gabriel is a badass, Redemption Arcs, Friends to Lovers, Sharing a Bed, Hurt/Comfort, Wing Kink, Grace Sharing, Angel True Forms, Miscommunication, Angst with a Happy Ending

NSFW

MalMuses - @malmuses​​​ - MalMuses

Soup and Whiskey

Summary: “Jack, you know Dean and I, well, we’re not…” Cas spoke quietly, making an awkward, vague hand gesture. The raised eyebrow that Jack gave him came directly from Sam. Cas could see the developing bitch face and it was equal parts entertaining and alarming. “Really,” Cas confirmed. “We aren’t.” Jack put his spoon down slowly to pick up his juice. “Then you should be,” he responded easily, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. A little 14x03 coda.

Tags: 14x03 Coda, Jack ex machina, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions

SFW

saltnhalo - saltnhalo

What The Rain Brings

Summary: In which Castiel's new roommate—supposed to be an alpha, under the guidelines of the college dorms—turns out to be a) late, and b) a beautiful, sarcastic, drenched omega.

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Omega Dean, Meet-Cute, True Mates, Scenting, Misunderstandings, Explicit Sexual Content, Topping from the Bottom, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Porn with Feelings

NSFW

The Sketching Fox - @sketching-fox​ 

My Little Destiel Collection

Summary: A Collection of 10 digital artworks, created during the SupToberArt /Inktober 2018, showing all posts about Destiel!  

Tags: Supernatural, Destiel, Castiel, Dean Winchester, SPNFanart, Spnart, suptober2018, suptoberart2018

SFW

Jdragon122 - @jdragon122​ - Jdragon122

Outlast

Summary: It seemed like a normal case. It always does... Dean has never seen Castiel, the real Castiel. But he’s never really thought about it until the truth of it is thrown in his face, abruptly, and violently. A case out in the deserts of Arizona and old Native American lands uncover a long dormant evil that reemerges when the brothers and the angel stumble upon it. The evil is hungry for power and what powerful being is more tempting than an angel. With Cas suddenly ripped from the brothers, stranded in the middle of the desolate wilderness, they must find a way to save their friend. With the clock ticking and their resources dwindling, Sam and Dean must find a way to defeat the evil and save Cas — before Cas becomes twisted beyond recognition, and before the hunters become the hunted.

Tags: Canon Divergent, Canon Conpliant, Canon-Typical Violence, season/series 11, Dark, Angst, Dean Whump, Cas Whump, Sam is okay though... mostly, Male OC, female OC, Angel True Forms, Castiel (Supernatural)’s True Form, Blood and Violence, very brief scene that might be considered noncon, graphic description of corpses, BAMF Castiel, BAMF Sam, BAMF Dean, switch Castiel, switch Dean, panic attacks, Case Fic, Hurt Dean, Hurt, angst with a happy ending, temporary character death, wings, topping from the bottom,

NSFW

BinJLG - @honeyedsam - BinJLG

Holloween

Summary: Dean spirals into a deep depression after casting Michael out and ends up isolating himself. But Castiel WILL NOT let him spend his favorite holiday alone.

Tags: Destiel, Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam Winchester mentioned, Jack Kline mentioned, Mary Winchester mentioned, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Ideation, Depressed Dean Winchester, Canon Divergence, Halloween, First Kiss, Depression, Mental Illness, Unreliable Narrator

SFW

Nera_Solani - @nera-solani​ - Nera_Solani

Show me your secrets and I’ll show you madness

Summary: Are you afraid of the dark? No?If you ever find a door that leads nowhere, don't go in. Four teenagers make the mistake of doing so anyway and don’t come back out. Which is how Dean, Sam and Castiel find themselves investigating a case that leads them right into an ancient Greek myth about a labyrinth housing a monster. But the monster isn't the only thing lurking in this dark place; the walls are breathing, watching, waiting… Being separated in a giant maze that isn’t attached to our reality isn’t how any of them had envisioned this case would go.

What is real? What is an illusion? Is that blood? What was that shadow? In every corner awaits a new nightmare, each one worse than the other. The three men need to save the missing teenagers and find a way out — if they can find each other, and live through the terrors the maze shows them. But none of that is easy when you’re being confronted with your worst memories and fears. Especially when you have to lose the love of your life over and over again… Well? Are you afraid of the dark? Maybe you should be.

Tags: Graphic depictions of Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Injury, Post-Season/Series 13, Case Fic, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Illusions, Hallucinations, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Fluff and Angst, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Cuddling & Snuggling, Idiots in Love, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Knows, Nearly Human Castiel, Grace Sex, DCBB 2018

NSFW

grumpyphoenix - @paintmeahero - grumpyphoenix

Glutton For Punishment

Summary: Castiel is trying out everything now that he's human. When he finds Dean's porn-stash, he wants to try some of it out, but Dean won't let him. So he has to goad Dean into it.

Tags: Kinktober 2018, Not Beta Read, Edgeplay, Dacryphilia, Spanking, Sadism, Masochism, Biting, Praise Kin,k Angry Sex, Bondage, Hair-pulling, Asphyxiation, Crossdressing, Costumes, Creampie, Under-negotiated Kink, Mildly Dubious Consent, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Jealousy, Human Castiel, Possessive Behaviour

NSFW

supernatural9917 - @supernatural9917fic​ - supernatural9917

We Eat in Here!

Summary: Sam is really sick of walking in on Dean and Cas boning. Written for the Destiel Smut Bingo. Square fill: Sam is scarred for life.

NSFW

supernatural9917 - @supernatural9917fic​ - supernatural9917

Doctor Doctor, Please

Summary: Dean has a special request of Cas Written for the Destiel Smut Bingo. Square fill: Playing doctor.

NSFW

supernatural99117 - @supernatural9917fic​ - supernatural9917

Roommate Wanted

Summary: Dean Winchester moved to Pontiac, Illinois six months ago when his girlfriend Carmen got a new job. Unfortunately for Dean, Carmen then left him for her boss, so he needs to find a roommate ASAP. Castiel Novak needs to move out of his brother’s house before his niece is born, and when he finds Dean’s ad on Craigslist, it seems like the perfect solution for both of them. So what if Dean is ridiculously gorgeous? Castiel can keep his crush under control. So what if Castiel is gay? Totally straight Dean isn’t at all affected by seeing him hook up with dudes. They’re just a couple of completely platonic roommates. Well… that’s what they think, anyway…

Written for the DeanCas Big Bang 2018 with art by @busysquirrel

NSFW

jscribbles - jscribbles

Taker of Souls

Summary: The angels have fallen. Castiel is human, Sam is recovering from the trials, and Dean doesn’t want to expose them to the world as it’s crumbling outside the bunker doors. To pass time in their solitude, Dean discovers a hidden room in the bunker full of dangerous magical artifacts and accidentally exposes his friends and family to an ancient horror. If Castiel thought adjusting to humanity was already a terror in itself, he experiences a world of pain when the ancient spirit Dean released chooses him as a vessel to fulfill its evil prophecy. Castiel begins to change as voices call out to him in the night and take the form of the one righteous man he desires, temptation drawing him to complete a ritual that will allow one of Hell’s most feared ancient entities to occupy his vessel. Before Sam, Dean, Kevin and Crowley know what is happening, they are thrown into a lockdown, unable to escape the bunker as the cruel, twisted monster inside of Castiel prowls the hallways, hunting them, thirsty for their blood, hungry for their souls.

Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Castiel/Dean, temporary major character death, Minor Character Death, Pining, Slow Burn, non-con, dub-con, Blood, Gore, Body mutilation, Self Harm, zombie-type characters, Hallucinations, Nightmares, horror-imagery, offensive language/insults, spoilers for The Witch, the boys cry, Sickness, Possession, canon-calibre discussions of religion, the evil dead 2013, Crossover, Inspired By, Smut, minor prescription drug use, Vomiting

NSFW

idjitsaviors - @idjitsaviors - Glitchedwings & Akobel - @akobel

Baby, Baby

Summary: Trench was used to sitting on lots of objects, sitting in lots of cars. Baby was used to accommodating articles of clothing (mostly of the flannel variety), and many different items. Of course, Trench was not yet used to being dragged along on celestial plots, and Baby was not yet used to that happening in her backseat. Still, weirdness was the one constant in their daily lives, so the day the trench coat and car met was like any other. By now they’ve met several times over the years, caught in the crossfires of their two owners' friendship and pining. But when Trench is forced to spend months in Baby's trunk, will they finally watch their owners find love? And can they make something of their own? A mostly canon-adjacent fic following Dean and Cas through the eyes of Baby— and the eyes of Trench, her partner in crime.

Tags: Crack treated seriously, canon compliant, mutual pining SFW