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#I did crying again 🙃
jtownraindancer · 10 months
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... I know you know I'm gonna say BURN GORMAN lolll that is how I came across your blog and also I remember being *very* impressed by your archive. So yeah :) You are the Burn Gorman Blog™️ to me
Me, trying to explain Burn Gorman:
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Asdfghjkl for real though thank youuuuuuu ♡
Plenty more of Matchstick Man to come~
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dexaroth · 5 months
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i feel so hollow.. and guilty.. i wish i couldve done more for him. he's just.. gone. for real this time. i always made sure to take a look at him when going out or to the kitchen to make sure he was breathing, and yet mom found him first. i could swear i could feel a faint heartbeat from him, but it was mine racing so fast it rippled through my veins. just.. gone. i feel soulless.
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theflyingfeeling · 1 year
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stupid stupid stupid stupid I am so fucking stupid
(LONG rant in the tags. originally a little longer still but apparently there were too many tags so tumblr deleted the rest lol)
#ahahahaha so i applied for a (fixed-period) job that was like. right up my alley?#and i was one of the two applicants and they invited me to a Teams interview which was supposed to be last monday#but when i heard the other applicant is someone who's been working for them for the past semester i was like 🤡#hmmmm i do wonder which one of us they'll hire!! 🙂#and i was crushed because why can't things go my way for once#being a job-seeker in this area on my field is so stressful and depressing if you don't have the right connections#so i cancelled the interview with an email on the morning of the interview#because i just couldn't motivate myself to go even for practice. i just couldn't#i did consider calling the place and asking if the sitauation was like i suspected#but i didn't because i am not a fully functional adult ✌️🤷‍♀️#well. today i noticed that they have opened the position again 🤡#which means that for one reason or another they're not going to hire the person who's been doing that exact job for them before?#and now i'm crying because lmao what kind of impression i'll be giving of myself#if i call them now and tell them why i cancelled the interview?#''yeah so i stood you up because i'm a hardened pessimist and thought i had no chance pls hire me lol''#who's gonna want to hire a loser like this 🙃 a loser who couldn't even bother calling them like a normal adult would've#and also what if my employment agency finds out i didn't go to the interview? they could cancel my allowance ahahahahahAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA#god i hate being unemployed and i hate job seeking so much it hurts#my self-confidence is nowhere near it should be if you were actually to do well in job interviews etc.#''why do you think you'd be good for this job?'' I'M NOT! YOU'LL BE DEFINITELY BETTER OFF HIRING ANYONE ELSE!!#and some people's advice for job interviews be like ''just be yourself!'' like honey no#if i'm myself at a job interview absolutely no one's gonna want me ahaha#job-seeking is just so fucking crushing and humiliating#like. when you're studying and you have an exam? you can study for it as hard as you can and try to do your best#and you'll get the grade you deserve. if someone gets the highest grade it doesn't effect YOUR chance to get the highest grade as well#but when applying for a job? you can write a splendid application text and answer the interview questions as best as you can#but if there's another applicant that's significantly more qualified or experienced than you they WILL be hired over you#so you can try your best and IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH#and that's why i didn't go to the job interview. because i wanted to protect myself from that heartbreak again#doing the best i can and still not getting the job
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cheekblush · 2 years
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me today 💤
#no i did not end up studying 🫣🤐🤥#the ibuprofen did help with the migraine but i still feel so drained like my energy tank is on 0 😞#and i'm tired of beating myself up for not constantly studying like why do i always have to neglect my health for school??#idk how other people do it bc i know others get way more done than me & have way more responsibilities but i just don't have that kind of..#energy i'm sorry it takes up all of my energy just to survive and exist in this world 😭#i feel like such an immature crybaby but once again that kafka quote comes to mind:#i could have built the pyramids with the effort it takes me to cling on to life and reason#also my mom recently pointed out to me that i have been studying for 21 years of my life & i just went shocked pikachu face 😯#like that is absolutely INSANE i've been in school since i was 6 years old it's honestly a miracle i didn't kms yet#and all of this studying for what??? you'd think i'd amount to smth but i'm an utter failure 🙃#literally haven't achieved anything the only things i got in my name are mental & physical health problems </3#well this is getting depressing let me stfu#so instead of studying i ended up watching sailor moon & dragon ball while eating chocolate covered strawberries <3#i actually wanted to take a nap but i just couldn't fall asleep even though i feel so exhausted#i need to survive 3 more weeks of exams before the easter holidays... i'm on my knees but i'm crawling...#i just need to pass everything... no need to have perfect grades just make it through these next 3 weeks alive#i just know i'm gonna have a breakdown soon & cry my eyes out bc it's all getting too much again 😮‍💨#☁️
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#how am i feeling? i am not feeling good#ok i feel better than i did 5min ago. itll b fine but Jesus#so basically what happened is its supposrd to snow tomorrow night so i have to get some sampling done tomorrow morning#and i do not like big short notice changes. there's like a 30% i will flip out#and the sampling i have to do is at 3 sites that i would love to never step into ever again. i have so much bitterness and hate toward that#study. it was the start of the end. and by the end i mean the epic downward spiral that was my 2022 experience#so ngl i wish they would catch on fire. but not really bc theyre long term study sites that have been going since like the 80s#anyway. i have to do that tomorrow. also also in sampling these sites im adding 80 samples to my list#which means ill be taking measurements for an extra 5 days 🤪 thats gonna be at least 39 days of measurements 🤪🤪🤪#and last time i did this i starting losing my god damn mind. and i cant do that now bc i have to pretend ive got everything together#so yeah im just at the stage of anticipating pain for the start of all that and ive gotta get up early tomorrow and its already late#and i spend like an hour crying into an excel spreadsheet so my eyes r tired#so ya kno its good. its all good. good good good. great. im soooo happy#and i do not at all feel the urge to throw myself to the ground screaming like a toddler#im just standing here in this grave ive dug myself over the past year and now its time for the universe to start burying me#hhhh... i should sleep. so my brain works at least a little tomorrow 🙃#itll b fine. ill get to talk to a lab mate i dont usually see and itll be fine#unrelated
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svankmajerbaby · 2 years
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had another even worse anxiety attack at work. its feeling bad folks
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galariangengar · 1 year
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💭
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yes live letter important but also. thinking about pandaemonium!
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permanentreverie · 4 months
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7 1/2 hour shift with no food ayyyyy
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imwritesometimes · 8 months
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I am once again asking you pls if you take one thing away from this blog, only one thing, let it be this: do not buy. a front loading washing machine. don't do it. do not. they are far more fuckin trouble than they're worth. don't do it.
sincerely - mine just died. again. had to go out and just buy a new TOP LOADER or pay another $400+ to have it fixed which would have been stupid af. do not do this. love urself do not buy one as I did. learn from my mistake.
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raeathnos · 1 year
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rosyblooom · 5 months
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not so perfect strangers | ln4 smau
PAIRING: lando norris x private fem!reader SUMMARY: after getting completely splashed by a passing car, y/n throws all 'stranger danger' warnings out the window and hitches a ride home.
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Instagram
yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption: OMFG THIS CAR JUST SPLASHED ME NOW I'M SOAKED😭😭😭 couldn't even see the driver ughh ]
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[ caption: it's been almost 1 hr and i still look like a wet rat🙃 soo guess who's hitching a ride? (if i don't update within 2 hrs CALL THE POLICE PLS) ]
[ tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]
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Instagram
yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption: no need to worry anymore, your girl made it back home🙂‍↕️ ]
[ tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]
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Instagram
yourusername
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liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, yourfriend and 68 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername "stranger danger" but not this one !! 🙂‍↕️
view all 22 comments
yourfriend girl what- is this who I think it is???
yourusername 🤭🤭
yourbestfriend UHM DINNER TOOO????
yourusername messaging u rn girly🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️
landonorris Again soon?👀
yourusername again tmrw? landonorris Again tomorrow. yourbestfriend what. the. fuck.
yourfriend pretty girl <33
(liked by author)
landonorris posted to his story!
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[ caption: Day 2 ]
[ tagged: yourusername ]
Twitter
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Instagram
yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption 1: mixing friend groups >>> ] [ caption 2: another day, another slay 🙂‍↕️ ]
[ tagged: landonorris, yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]
Tiktok
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A couple days later...
yourusername posted to her close friends!
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[ caption 1: lol ] [ caption 2: bye ]
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Instagram
yourusername posted to her close friends!
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[ caption 1: this is awkward ahaha... how about we all just forget about my silly goofy little story FOREVER AGO pretty please😁 ]
[ tagged: landonorris ]
story replies:
yourbestfriend "he's dead to me"🤡🤡
yourusername pfft tomato tomato right ahaha 😁
yourfriend folding after only 5 days is clown shit lmfao
yourfriend LMAOOO where did all that energy go??
yourusername new phone who dis😀
yourfriend Y/N STAND TF UP OMFG???
yourusername b-but pretty flowers🥺 yourfriend a lost cause I see...
yourfriend I spy with my little eye a whole damn circus!
yourfriend so real tbh
yourusername i knew you'd get me babe 🙂‍↕️
[ ... ]
yourusername posted to her close friends!
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[ caption: STOP EATING ME UP IN THE REPLIES OMFG?? PLS FRIENDS I'M JUST A GIRLLL ]
A few months later...
Instagram
f1gossipofficial
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liked by username, username, username, and 13,007 others
f1gossipofficial According to this picture sent to us by a fan in China, it seems Lando Norris has brought Y/N along with him for the upcoming Grand Prix.
The duo has been the subject of rumours and sightings together for a while now. Could this weekend finally mark the debut of a new wag?
They certainly appear close in the photo! 👀
view all 845 comments
username just fell to my knees in walmart🧎‍♂️
username aw that picture is so cuteee i already love them together <33
username i feel like she's stuck up tbh cause i've been requesting to follow her for almost a month now and nothing. like girl you're not that important please😒
username uhmm...you're a weirdo username lmaooo how about you go live your life then if she isn't that important what💀
username I saw them too!! I asked for a pic with lando and she was super sweet and took it for us :)
username aw that makes me happy to hear username she did the same for me in monaco 🫶
username she gives bad vibes...
username y'all say that about everyone omg stfu
yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption 1: entering my lucky charm era hmm?👀 ] [ caption 2: AHHH P2 OMFG!!!! SO PROUD OF U LAN ❤️ ❤️ (you're welcome also 😌) ]
[ tagged: landonorris ]
lando.jpg
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo, martingarrix, and 501,883 others
lando.jpg 🇨🇳
view all 3,097 comments
username rip lando's single era 😞💔
username crying and throwing up fr
yourusername ❤️
(liked by author)
username day 593 of begging you to make your insta public🥹 username with the way y'all treated Luisa I doubt that will happen username who tf is y'all?🤨
username P2 LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO
username ik everyone's been hating but I actually like that y/n's super private bc it shows she's with him for the right reasons :)
username right she seems genuine 🫶
username so proud of you lando 🧡🧡
username LAST PIC SHOULD BE MEEE
1:22 ───────ㅇ───── 2:22
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enwoso · 2 months
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A fic where Lovie is extremely clingy and doesn’t want to leave alessias side and they’re going to film one of the tooney and Russo podcast episodes and alessia tries to put Lovie off to the side out of the way of everything like normal but Lovie is just sobbing because she doesn’t want to be left and so she interrupts the podcast and ends up being in the episode because they just keep filming
the video version gets posted and part of it is alessia just rocking Lovie back and forth and bouncing her to calm her down
STOLEN THE SHOW — alessia russo x child!reader
funnily enough i’ve rewrote this four times… this is the best one out of the four. not my best but ENJOY!🙃
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grumpy masterlist
alessia could already tell that filming todays episode of the tooney and russo show was going to be a difficult one. not because of the topic of conversation, but because today all you wanted was to be by your mummy's side.
usually when alessia was filming the podcast it would be around the time of your mid day nap however today was an early start, the girls hoping to film a couple episodes in the short time that ella was down in london for.
"lovie, come on. i need you to stay here while mummy films with auntie ella and vick" alessia tried the soft approach hoping it would help to peel you from her arms.
"no." you mumbled your grip getting tighter as a few sniffles came from you, alessia sitting herself on one of the many colourful seats in the bbc studio. hoping that you would soothe, there still being a few minutes before filming was supposed to begin.
"hey less, is she asleep?" ella smiled as she pointed to you. alessia giving her best friend a look that said it all as she shook her head.
"she won't let me put her down" alessia whispered a small sigh coming from her as ella nodded sitting down next to her best friend.
"tiny?" ella tried as she tapped your small shoulder a small whine coming from you as you dug your head further into your mummy's body.
"tiny i need to tell you something it's really important!" ella tried again, as you peeled your face slightly from alessia's shoulder, the top of you head poking out your eyebrows furrowed together, ella being able to guess that there was a frown on your lips but she couldn't see it due to the lower half of your face being hidden.
"listen, how about after we've done all this boring adult things we go to that desert place that your mummy has told me all about and i know you love the waffles from there!" ella smiled as you were in the middle of thinking, but nodding your head slowly. you did really like the waffles from there.
"but you have to let go of mummy so we can do the boring adult things yeah?" ella added as you were now a little unsure. you just wanted to go back to sleep in the comfort of your mummy's arms.
you nodded slightly apprehensive but still loosening your grip as alessia made the move to sit you down in the usual area where you'd sit, on a beanbag with alessia's phone watching a series of cartoons.
alessia carefully walking away as if, if she made one wrong step that you would start to cry, ella and vick already say in their respective seats awaiting alessia to come so filming could begin.
alessia picking up her iced coffee and sitting down, the cameras started rolling.
"hello everyone! welcome to the—" vick got half way through her sentence before you started to cry, throwing the phone in your hand out and onto the hard ground. a small sigh coming from alessia as she passed her iced coffee to ella to put on the small table next to her.
alessia moving quickly to get you and soothe you. "it's okay lovie" your mummy cooed as you hid your head in her neck. alessia moving back towards the couch as she rubbed a hand up and down your back to soothe your small sniffles.
"she can just sit there y'know?" ella commented as vick hummed in agreement with ella, alessia looking up to the pair debating her options as she knew it would be filmed and while she didn't mind you being on social media she didn't want you to have a lot of exposure to it as a result of your young age.
"lovie are you gonna sit in your special seat?" alessia whispered as she felt you shake your head.
"no. wan be with mummy" you mumbled as both vick and ella looked at each other with a pout at your cuteness of being an all round mummy's girl. alessia admitted defeat and placed you in a more relaxed position in her arms knowing you would more than likely go back to sleep during the recording.
"looks like she's joining the pod for today!"
"hello, and welcome to the tooney and russo show with me vick hope and i am here with football's most famous friends! ella toone and alessia russo!" vick smiled making sure to add her clap and woo into the end of the intro like she did every episode. finally getting a good intro where you hadn’t interrupted or she hadn’t stumbled over her words.
"and for those who are watching on youtube you will be able to see special guest to the episode today and that is alessia's mini me, who is currently sat cuddling into alessia for those who are listening" vick explained as alessia hummed trying to get you to say a small hello however you were having none of it.
"i- she's drifting off back to sleep" alessia smiled stroking a finger over your cheek as your eyes were fluttering shut but then opening again a few seconds later.
"i mean i don't blame her!" ella giggled, as both alessia and vick hummed in agreement.
"yeah, we should clarify it's a very early recording session, it's seven in the morning" vick began as she also held a coffee in her hand.
"it's not great for me or for tiny clearly!" ella gestured towards you at your sleepy form as you were half asleep but were fidgeting with the string on your mummy's jumper.
a small laugh coming from both alessia and vick who both held cups of coffee in there hands. "no it's not great for ella as unlike me and alessia she doesn't drink coffee"
"but she is going to try it aren't you" alessia smiled in ella direction swirling the straw making the ice clank against the side of the cup.
"more like your gonna force it down my neck" ella complained into the mic. "yeah but it's a really nice coffee!" alessia tried to convince her best friend holding the coffee out for ella to try.
"less you do it all the time, and each time i never like it and it leaves a horrible taste in my mouth-"
"you've got sweets over there" alessia pointed out as you head perked up a little at the sound of sweets being on the go.
"what haribos at seven in morning" ella raised her eyebrows a small giggle came from alessia as she nodded. you tapping your mummy's arm as ella tried the coffee.
"me have a sweetie?" you ask with a tired look on your face as your mummy sat and thought about it for a second before nodding. waiting for ella to stop her dramatics before asking her to pass the sweet jar.
"has it got any better" vick questioned, as ella shook her head. "it's creamier but other than that it's rank-"
"tooney pass the sweet jar!" alessia tapped ella on the shoulder just like you had done moments ago, as she side eyed the blonde, "you said you didn't want any sweets before-"
"there not for me! for lovie!" alessia pointed out as you small smile came from you as you waited for the sweets to get to you.  your mummy handing you the jar as you looked up at her as she nodded her head motioning for you to choose what you wanted.
"i get two?" you asked quietly, alessia humming as she looked down at you picking your two sweets out, yes you probably shouldn't be having sweets this early in the morning but there was expectations like today.
"so i think we've discovered you both definitely aren't morning people" vick points out as both ella and alessia shook their head.
"no definitely not, i used to be worse when i was younger though. my mum used to leave me for hours before she spoke to me- but i've gotten better with age" ella smiled proudly at herself as alessia chuckled, ella definitely not being the best person in the morning to talk to.
"i mean i feel like you would think i was a morning person because of lovie but i don't know who made that stupid rumour that having a child makes you a morning person because it definitely doesn't." alessia complained, looking down at you to check you were okay. you still drifting in and out of sleep.
"yeah i can imagine your up early on a mornings no?" vick questions as alessia firmly shakes her head.
"some mornings i am obviously when i've got training, but i would say i lie in for me is about eight am. i usually get woken up by her jumping on top of me or lovie will just sit and tap me on the arm"
ella started laughing as both vick and alessia snap their attention towards the brunette, "no sorry but do you remember on england camp when-" ella started but couldn't get the rest out cause she was laughing.
"oh i wanna hear this now"
"tooney!"
"no, we was on england camp and alessia had fallen asleep and tiny wanted you for something but alessia had taken so long to wake up that by that point she'd forgotten what she was gonna ask-" ella managed to get in between laughs.
"but she was sat there for a least thirty minutes tapping you lightly on the arm and then alessia woke up in a proper bad mood cause she'd slept through her alarm"
"oh bless her, what is it like having your daughter with you on camp? cause i can imagine it may be difficult?" vick asked as alessia hummed into the mic, one hand on your back tracing shapes in your back as the other was still holding her iced coffee.
"i mean it can be difficult especially when we are travelling a lot and for her being so young it's can be hard but no the staff at england and arsenal are so good and always make sure that she's okay as well as the players" alessia commented, as she felt you kick your legs out getting yourself more comfy in alessia's arms.
"but all the girls love her so she loves being there. it always a struggle trying to drop her off at nursery as she would rather be with me at arsenal with the girls"
"and which you wouldn’t believe looking at her right now but she's a proper chatter box, less always says she gets that off me-" ella rolls her eyes, throwing a glare at the blonde sat across the couch from her. alessia shaking her head. "i disagree, i think she gets it from you-"
"every time i've seen her here she always so quiet and calm" vick smiles, shocked at the fact that your so chatty when every time she's seen you you've just always been so quiet but she had only seen you twice before today. you usually being at nursery when filming was taking place.
"oh she's anything but quiet and calm"
the podcast carried on, the girls talking about england camp as a whole and what they get up to in their spare time when they are not training, as well as answering fan questions about if they could be a kitchen appliance which one and why. that starting a whole debate.
while you say content as long as you were in close proximity of your mummy, one slight wrong more and you were whining for her. alessia soothing you throughout the recording, as you stayed in her arms.
the podcast taking another turn talking about nicknames as a fan had asked who had the worst nickname in the squad, the girls not being able to pick one. it leading to a question from vick.
"i've noticed that you have your own little nickname for y/n which isn't tiny like all the other girls call her. and I'm just curious as to why it's that?" vick asks as alessia lets out a little laugh into the mic as ella turns her head so she's facing alessia too.
"you know what i've always wondered this too-" ella points out, now realising that she's known you for years and doesn't know the reason behind your mums nickname for you.
"to be honest it's not really an exciting story as it may sound but she was born on february 14th which is valentine's day but also she's my little love so it just fits i guess and nobody else picked up on calling her that just me, like even my family call her tiny so" alessia explained as vick hummed, ella sat as she processed what alessia had said before humming understanding now the reason behind your nickname.
"but if anyone else apart from less tries to call her lovie she wont answer them. so that's probably why nobody else calls her lovie" ella pointed out as alessia nodded her head before whispering a true to back up what ella had just said.
"really does she not?" vick was surprised by that but could also understand why.
"yeah, watch-" ella whispered, turning towards you as you were playing with your mummy's phone on the camera app, you not exactly being an expert in photography more taking photos of your forehead or the side of your face. you just liking the feel of pressing the white button, as you were in your own little world.
"lovie, look what i've got" ella tried as she tapped your shoulder, you not paying any attention as you continued to play with your mummy's phone.
"right now you try!" ella pointed to alessia as she looked down at you, a small giggle coming from your mum as she watched you take a photo of the side of your face.
"lovie, do you want a snack?" your mummy asked as you looked up, nodding your head. stretching your small body as your arms reached up with your mums phone in your hands. being very close to hitting your mummy in the face as she grabbed your phone out of your hand.
"see-" ella said smugly as she looked over towards vick who was pleasantly surprised, "wow, they have such a cute mother daughter relationship though. it's adorable" vick pouted as ella nodded, alessia in the process of sitting you back on her lap with a packet of breakfast snacks.
it obvious to anyone watching how much alessia cared about you. the rest of the episode was filmed. alessia having to take the occasional break to rock you in her arms when you started to whine.
but when the episode aired, the comments were filled with wanting you to join your mummy and the pod every episode and even some wanting to do a episode dedicated to you when you were in the mood to talk.
the rest of the comments were filled with nice comments about how good a mother alessia was and the cute relationship she had with you and how gentle and caring she was.
the fans were hooked, you had said less than ten words in the entire podcast but as always you had stolen the show.
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girlgenius1111 · 6 months
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i always know what you need
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Alexia x R [soft and sweet] smut 18+ after a rough game, and a result you blamed on yourself, you ask Alexia to punish you. she has other ideas.
huge thank you to @occasionallyaurora for the inspiration 🙃
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If there was one thing Alexia wished she could change about you, it would be your insistence to blame every bad result for the team on yourself. Granted, you did miss the penalty that would have won the game. And the goal scored by the other team had kind of been your fault. But it was an off day for you, and everyone had them. The rest of the team had every opportunity to push ahead, and they hadn’t been able to either. Would Alexia have blamed herself, if the roles were reversed? Most definitely. But as she watched you fight off tears while walking towards the tunnel after the game, Alexia could only think that she didn’t really care that you’d played poorly. All she cared about was making you smile again. 
Her hope that it would only take a few encouraging words from her to make you feel better faded quickly when you pulled away from her in the tunnel, heading right for the showers. You were able to avoid her through the rest of your post match routine, and when Alexia escaped media duties, it was to find that you’d already gotten on the bus. Of course, this match couldn’t have been in Barcelona, and Alexia couldn’t bring you back to her house and keep an eye on you. No, she had to rely instead on Mapi to console you, who you were rooming with. Speaking of the defender, she pulled Alexia to the side as the captain headed to the bus, a solemn expression on her face. 
“Switch with me tonight?” She asked. Alexia rolled her eyes; she was rooming with Ingrid. Of course Mapi wanted to switch. 
“María, are you really taking advantage of my girlfriend being upset so you and your girlfriend can break the rules in the hotel?” Alexia asked, tone biting and filled with annoyance. 
Mapi frowned at her friend. “No. Ingrid has a migraine and I want to stay with her. And I heard your girl crying in the shower. I was trying to be helpful.” 
Alexia sighed. Today was really not her day. “Sorry, amiga. Yeah, let’s switch, thank you.” It wasn’t taking you home, but it was better than lying awake in her hotel room, worried about you when you were just right down the hall. 
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You were lost in your thoughts when Alexia sat next to you on the bus. She instantly wrapped her arm around your shoulder and pulled you into her, which surprised you a bit. Alexia liked to keep things professional, often going so far as to avoid touching you when you were all around the team. It seemed as though your need for her superseded her need to be perfectly professional at all times, though, because the way she kissed your forehead was far from friendly. 
“Mapi and I are switching rooms, vale? I stay with you tonight.” She murmured, her words heavily accented, as they always were when she tried to whisper. 
You wanted to deny her, rid her of the burden that you knew you would be this evening, but you couldn’t manage it, not when she was holding you so tightly, and when she smelled so comfortingly familiar. 
“Thank you.” You replied, well aware of how uncommon it was for Alexia to break the rules, even for you. 
Your girlfriend shook her head. “Do not thank me. I will always give you what you need.” 
It was with that thought that you began to think about what it was that you needed. By the time you reached the hotel, you were absolutely convinced you had the answer. 
------
Alexia was expecting you to cry upon return to your hotel room. Or, at least, pull Alexia into bed, bury your face in her chest, and try to go to sleep. Anything to avoid talking about it, and anything to avoid thinking about it. She was not expecting you to pounce on her the minute the door shut, her bag in hand, having just switched with Mapi. 
Regardless, she met your kiss eagerly, reaching down to lift you easily into her arms. You wrapped your legs around her waist, and wound your arms around your neck, completely intending to lose yourself in the feeling of her. She seemed to come to her senses after a few minutes though, pulling away somewhat breathlessly and settling you on the bed. 
“Let’s slow down, sí? You just played a full 90, we have to fly tomorrow…” she trailed off as you shook your head, pulling on her shirt to get her to climb on top of you. Alexia was a willful person, normally, but the one place that this was not the case was with you. Almost involuntarily, she leaned back down, allowing you to guide her lips towards yours. 
This time, when you broke the kiss, Alexia looked much more convinced to give in to what you clearly wanted, and what she wanted too, rules and logic be damned. 
That is, until you spoke, grabbing her hand and pulling it towards your throat. “Punish me.” You whispered, a desperate look on your face. 
Alexia instantly withdrew her hand, cupping your cheek instead, a very sad look on her face. “Mi amor, I do not know if that is a good idea.” 
“Please, Ale, I need you so bad. I can’t feel like this, I need you to punish me, please.” You begged, gripping her wrist and pulling it back towards your neck. 
She still didn’t look sure, so it surprised you when she nodded her head slowly. “What my girl needs, she gets.” She murmured, pressing her lips to yours once more. 
Alexia had no intention to punish you. She knew that wasn’t really what you needed, and she was determined to give you what you needed. So she let herself kiss you, for a while, until you began to get impatient and squirmy under her. She kept her kisses sweet and slow, withdrawing slightly every time you tried to get her to be a bit harsher.
“You aren’t being rough” You huffed impatiently, glaring up at Alexia’s face above you. She just hummed in response, returning her lips to your neck and suckling softly at the skin. “Ale,” you complained again. This time, she did respond, leaning up off you to look sternly into your eyes. 
“Who decides what I do? Is it you? Or is it me?” 
“You,” you replied softly. “But, Ale, I need-”
“Who decides what you need, amor? You? Or me?” You didn’t reply, only glaring up at her halfheartedly. She answered her own question when it became clear that you weren’t going to. “I do. And you are not being very nice to yourself today. So I will do that for you.” 
“Alexia I don’t deserve-” 
“Shh, amor. I know what you deserve. Now relax, and let me make you feel good, vale?” 
“Okay.” You replied softly, almost in a trance. Alexia could get you like that fairly easily, she just needed to say the right thing and pair her words with some intense eye contact, and you were ready to do whatever she asked of you. 
“Buena niña,” she breathed into your ear, her hand beginning to trail down your body. You didn’t acknowledge what she said, stiffening slightly at her words. You didn’t feel like her good girl, not right now. Alexia knew this, and she also knew that by the time she was done with you, you would feel like her good girl. 
Alexia sat up off you, pulling at your shirt. You stripped it off, your bra quickly following. 
“You are so beautiful.” Alexia said softly, her finger tracing a line down your abdomen, her eyes fixed on yours. 
You squirmed uncomfortably at her words, and Alexia tilted her head just slightly. “You are, amor. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” She reiterated, this time not waiting for a response before she began to kiss at your bare chest, working her way down your abdomen, and pausing at your shorts. 
“Do you want me?” She husked. As if you would ever say no to that question from her. 
“Yes, please.” 
“Then tell me that you are good.” Alexia said, resting her cheek on your lower abdomen, as if she knew it would take you a minute to get the words out. Looking at her from where you were propped up on your elbows, it was hard not to feel good, to feel beautiful. Alexia looked at you like you imagined people looked upon the Ark of the Covenant; like they knew they’d only have a short time to enjoy something so divine, and they weren’t planning on wasting a second. 
 You knew she wouldn’t move until you’d said what she wanted you to, and you decided to say it, even if it felt like a lie. 
“I am good.” You mumbled, so quietly Alexia almost didn’t hear you. 
“Perfecta,” Alexia smiled, finally sliding her fingers under the waistband of your shorts, and pulling them down. She pulled your underwear off, too, smiling to herself at the wet patch already on them; she’d never get over the effect she had on you. If it made her cocky, then it made her cocky; was she supposed to be humble when the most beautiful person she’d ever met always wanted her so desperately?
Much to your annoyance, Alexia didn’t immediately put her mouth on you. Instead, she switched her focus to your inner thighs, leaving light kisses up one, ghosting over where you really wanted her, and down the other leg. After her 2nd lap of this, you grew frustrated. 
“Please,” you whined, hoping that asking for what you wanted would get it.
“You said you wanted to be punished. This is your punishment, I am going to go slow until you are dripping for me.” Alexia replied, one finger teasing over your clit rather lightly, yet you still shuddered. 
“Am- am I not dripping for you already?” You grumbled, your words losing some edge to them when Alexia pressed down just barely, before retracting her hand. She grinned up at you rather smugly, finally pushing your legs further apart, and spreading you open. 
“Mmm, you are.” Alexia allowed. 
“Well then what- oh fuck,” you cut yourself off when Alexia buried her face in your pussy, lapping and licking at your folds like it was the last thing she’d ever do. The blonde’s tongue was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, and you were quickly arching your back, and grinding yourself up into her face.
You were used to not being able to touch. To being tied up, or told to keep your hands off when Alexia got working on her favorite activity. You were used to having to tug at the restraints, or pull at the bedsheets, until the urge to grab Alexia’s head and pull her even closer eventually floated away, like everything always did when she fucked you. 
This time, though, Alexia grabbed your hands in hers, humming against you with pleasure at the sounds you were letting out, and placed them on her head, encouraging you to lace your fingers into her soft blonde hair. 
Once Alexia had done that, allowing you to set a rhythm of fucking yourself down against her tongue, holding her face where you wanted it, it was just a matter of minutes before your hands were tightening and you were getting louder and louder. 
Alexia knew she should care, your teammates were right next door, but she couldn’t bring herself to mind, not when you threw your head back against the bed, writhed underneath her, repeated her name over and over like it was the only word you remembered. 
“Ale, Ale, please, I’m so close,” you chanted, words broken up by breathy moans sliding easily out of your lips. 
“Let go, amor,” she said, barely withdrawing her mouth to speak, and the vibrations of her voice against your pussy did it, along with her lips attaching themselves to your clit and sucking, hard. 
“Fuck fuck fuck, jesus Alexia,” you cried, eventually pushing her head away when it became too much. You’d always been loud, and it never ceased to amaze Alexia how easily you let go when you came.  
Your girlfriend slid back up your body, hand settling over your core as you grinded softly down into it, still working through the aftershocks. Alexia kept her face close to yours, wanting to hear the desperate little whines and breaths that you always made after you came. 
“You sound so pretty when you come for me, do you know that? I love hearing you say my name.” Alexia told you. All you could do was wrap your arms tighter around her, and haul her in even closer as you came back into yourself. 
You whimpered slightly when Alexia’s fingers abruptly dragged through your core, your mouth falling open almost on instinct when she raised her hand up to your mouth. 
“Taste yourself.” She instructed, pushing her 2 large fingers right past your parted lips. You sucked on them eagerly, more interested in having something of Alexia’s inside your mouth than you were with tasting yourself. 
“Buena, tómelo todo,” she hummed, not embarrassed in the slightest at how good it felt to have you suck eagerly on her fingers. “Tan buena, mi niña, la niña mas perfecta del mundo,” 
The whine you let out at that let Alexia know just how desperately you needed to hear her praise you. She didn’t have much time to think on that, though, before your hand was pulling hers away from your face, and directing it back between your legs. 
“More,” you said softly, blushing when you felt Alexia smirk into your neck.
“You want more? You want my fingers in that perfect pussy?” She teased, loving the way your whole chest and neck turned red at her words. 
“Sí, I need your fingers.” You told her, tilting your neck to the side when she nibbled slightly on the skin there. 
“Anything for you,” Alexia mumbled, pulling both her hand and mouth away from you in a way that felt rather contradictory to her statements. When she flipped you around, though, and pulled you up the bed to settle in between her legs, your back to her chest, you realized why. If you were blushing before, you weren’t sure what you were doing now could be described as. Maybe turning permanently red. 
On the wall just across from you was a full length mirror, rather obscenely placed so that most of the first bed was visible in it. Alexia wanted you to watch. You didn’t want to watch, at least not watch yourself. 
“Gonna fuck you now,” the blonde whispered, frowning slightly when you shut your eyes and turned your head slightly to hide your face against her neck. “No, amor, you are going to watch.” 
“Alexia,” 
“You are going to watch.” She insisted. “You are beautiful, and perfect, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I want you to see yourself like I do. Falling apart on my fingers, and screaming my name.” 
You felt like you were getting whiplash with how quickly she was switching between being almost painfully sweet, and being painfully filthy. 
“Can you do that, mi niña bonita? Can you watch yourself take my fingers?” 
“I can.” You muttered, feeling Alexia grab your chin and turn your head back towards the mirror. You were spread open wide, your cunt glistening in the dim lighting of the room, one of Alexia’s large hand holding your leg back.
A soft “good” was all you got before Alexia was sliding her hand down your stomach, right down to your entrance, tracing two fingers over it before easily sliding them in. Her fingers were absurdly large, and it was a bit of a stretch, even with how wet you were, and she kept them still for almost a full minute, before your body was very unsuccessfully trying to grind down on them. 
“Look at you,” Alexia cooed, beginning to pump her fingers in and out. She filled you so perfectly, it was almost mesmerizing to see, if not slightly embarrassing to see yourself drip all over the sheets. “Taking me so well. You are so wet. Do you want another finger, bonita?” 
You could only nod frantically, all your energy focused on not looking away. 
When Alexia slipped her third finger in, you grabbed on to her forearm tightly, breaths leaving your mouth rapidly. 
“Look at your tight pussy, taking 3 fingers.” 
“Ale,” you mumbled, the only coherent thought you were able to form at this point. Alexia was making you feel good, and Alexia was all you wanted; what else was there to say?
“Sí, tell me how good you feel,” she encouraged. 
You took a few stuttering deep breaths, trying not to let the wet sounds of her fingers sliding in and out of your cunt to distract you. 
“S-so good, baby, you make me feel so fucking good,” you managed, feeling Alexia speed up at your words. You realized your eyes had shut, and you forced them back open, not wanting your girlfriend to stop, not when you were so close. 
Alexia fucked you harder, her hand making a loud smack when it connecting with your body, her fingers sounding almost pornographic as the moved inside of you. The blonde began to curl her fingers, which were long enough to brush perfectly over the spot deep inside of you that made your toes curl. 
“Ale, your fingers- on my, shit,” you tried, unable to get the words out. Luckily, your girlfriend knew just what you were asking for. 
“So good, asking for what you need.” She praised, moving her other hand from your leg over to your core, instantly circling your clit, rubbing eagerly against it with the perfect amount of pressure. 
“Ale, coming,” you managed, your back arching up off Alexia’s chest, thighs clenching around her hand. Your walls tightened so much that Alexia could barely move inside of you, and the volume at which you screamed her name was sure to bring a lot of teasing both of your ways tomorrow, but Alexia didn’t care. Not when she made you feel good. Not when she made you come so hard, all you could do afterward was flop back down onto her body, panting heavily. 
Her fingers eventually removed themselves from deep inside of you, and Alexia quietly shushed the whimper you let out at the sensation. Her less messy hand rubbed comforting circles over your stomach, and her lips pressed kiss after kiss to your cheek. You didn’t really notice any of this. You felt it all happen, but you were much to content to remain completely fucked out for the time being. 
Though one thought did break through the haze, and you tried to move your hands down Alexia’s body, muttering something about her not having a turn yet. 
“No, tonight is for you. You are all done, amor, it is okay.” She encouraged, feeling you relax back into her. You laid there for a few more minutes, feeling every inch of your skin pressed up against Alexia’s, and thinking somewhere in your brain that there was no better sensation. 
Eventually, Alexia very carefully slid out from under you, promising that she’d be right back, before she disappeared briefly into the bathroom. You could only groan in response, already wishing that she was back in contact with you. 
When she did return, it was to delicately pick you up, cradle you close to her chest, and carry you into the bathroom. She tried to lower you into the bath she’d drawn, but you wouldn’t let go of her. 
“Don’t let go, please.” You requested, and Alexia smiled softly, stepping into the tub with you. She laid you carefully on her chest, hoping the warm water would revive you some. 
It did, and only a few minutes later, you turned your head, resting your chin on your girlfriend’s chest, looking up at her with an adoring expression on your face. 
“Hi you,” she whispered, the English phrase she’d picked up from you making you smile yourself. 
“Hola,” you replied, and she laughed quietly. 
“Thank you. For knowing what I needed. And knowing what I didn’t.” You said, the mood suddenly a lot more serious. 
“Always.” She promised. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
“Not really. I just want to be here with you.” You stated carefully, cheeks flushing at the way Alexia’s entire face seemed to soften and melt at your words. 
“Okay, amor. It is important to me that you know, though. I always love you. You are always good. Even if you have a bad match. Even if you have 100 bad matches. I love you the same. Forever, I love you the same. Okay?” 
There were tears falling down your face when you responded, tears that Alexia easily wiped away. 
“I love you.” 
“Te amo mucho mucho mucho,” she promised, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. 
You’d never get over this intimacy. The ease with which you let Alexia see every ugly part of you. And the ease with which she met everything you hated about yourself with overflowing amounts of love. Alexia loved you more than you could ever hate yourself. 
-------
this entered my brain and refused to leave :)
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cynical-ghost · 3 months
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KILLER QUEEN P.2
P.1
Synopsis: After being forced into being a second driver for McLaren people are irritated by her wasted potential.
Paring: Charles Leclerc x driver!reader.
Genre: SMAU-social media, slight angst?
A/n I love Lando but I needed a ‘Villain’ so I apologise 🫶 I’m so glad you guys liked part 1!!
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F1_updates
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Liked by yourbff, landonorizzz, Cl16YLn03 and 443,234 others
F1_updates Lando Norris arrived at the track earlier today for a meeting with the FIA, the McLaren team and Governing bodies of Formula 1 to see if the rumers of continuous cheating are true.
Nolongerlandonorrisfan He should be given penalty’s and push backs!!
Cl16YLn03 he looks like he has been crying, I almost feel bad but what he and the rest of McLaren put Yn through I just can’t feel bad tbh
Ynslittlelife921 I totally agree, he shouldn’t have done it, he knew the risks of cheating.
Ynforeal
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Ynforeal almost there!! ✈️ (featuring bord Charles)
Ynismymother They are so cute together omfg😭
Charles_Leclerc I can’t help it, we were at the airport for hours and my phone died!😑
Ynforeal you are like an IPad kid, as soon as I gave you my phone you were happy again 😂❤️
Charles_Leclerc 🙃
Cl16YLn03 I can’t wait to see Yn properly racing again!!
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Charles_Leclerc
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Liked by Ynforeal, Arthur_leclerc, Cl16YLn03 and 789,869 others
Charles_Leclerc I am very exited to race against my new teammate ❤️
Ynforeal my the best man win Mr. Leclerc🤝
Charles_leclerc My the best man win🤝
User15 The Ferrari Prison is making us miss out on Yn and Charles’s sassy comments😭
Cl16forwdc Win it for us Charles!
Ynforeal
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Ynforeal I would like to thank everyone who has supported me through my move to Ferrari, this team has given me the opportunity to show my full potential on the racing track. I hope that everyone who has ever doubted my potential gets what they deserve 😁❤️ 🍾
Charles_Leclerc WELL DONE MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL!! ❤️❤️ I am so so so proud of you and everything you have accomplished 🫶
Ynforeal I am crying rn, I love you so much 😭
Ynismymother BAHHAHA the little dig towards Lando 😭😭
Ynismymother CONGRATULATIONS YN !!!!
Cl16YLn03 YOU DID AMAZING!! you dese manyore wins to come 🫶🍾
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Tag list: (send me a request asking to be added to my tag list if you would like to be added🫶)
@reguluscrystals
@nathalielovesonedirection
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galariangengar · 2 years
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💭
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