#I do like the idea of them being less stable than either individual Charm but completely disconnected from her body? Hmmm

[skzsauce01]

Matters of the Head and Heart

Synopsis: Mechanical hatmaker Mr. Felix Lee finds himself being charmed by your flirtatious antics towards him. However, you being an upper class young lady means nothing will come out of it. Right? Steampunk-ish AU set in 1850s Victorian London. Historical accuracy not guaranteed.

Warning: none

Word Count: 13.1k

Pairing: fem!reader x hatmaker!Felix

Mr. Felix Lee, having been an apprentice and a hatmaker for several years, is no stranger to the odd request or so, but the one he receives today is by far the most peculiar.

“A tea party?” he repeats. He eyes the cream colored envelope you delicately hold out before him, still trying to comprehend the unusualness of it all. “And I’ve been invited?”

“Yes, Mr. Lee,” you say with a smile. “It’s a short notice, I understand, but the hostess would be delighted if you attended.”

He elects to stall for time while he makes sense of it. Why is he invited? Surely, it is unheard of for a hatmaker to partake in a ladies’ tea party. “If I might ask, who is the hostess?”

“A good friend of mine, Miss Shin. She is quite the hat enthusiast and has been inquiring about the designer of my mechanical blooming rose one.”

“That would be me, I suppose,” he dumbly says. He remembers the challenge of your headdress. The flower petals were meticulously arranged and joined together so that they would furl and unfurl. It was quite the endeavor to craft, so he can hardly blame Miss Shin for wanting to learn more. He takes the envelope from you and sets it down on the counter, accepting the invite. “Who else has been invited?”

“She would not tell me about the others, but I think she’s planning her debut ball soon.”

Felix sagely nods. A young lady’s coming out into society is a grand affair, and Felix has heard the stories from fellow craftsmen about the intricacies demanded. If he’s fortunate, maybe Miss Shin, apparent hat enthusiast, will order something from him. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Nothing else, I’m afraid. Good day.” You curtsy and turn to leave, your wide skirts brushing against the sides of a display table.

Felix is feeling rather bold after all that, so he asks the back of your dress, “Will I see you there?”

You look back, lips curled upward in a small smile. It’s different from your typical ones, more playful and less guarded. The downward tilt of your chin is almost seductive, and Felix is doing his best not to turn scarlet. Some of his customers have flirted with him before, but you have never done so so blatantly. He wonders why you are acting coquettish now. Perhaps he merely hopes you are.

“Of course. Who else would introduce you to her?”

The front door of his shop swings shut, leaving him alone again. It is then that Felix realizes how inappropriate the entire situation was. You, an unmarried young lady, had no chaperone with you.

Felix swiftly returns to his latest piece of work to distract himself. He will not say a word about what occurred, but it does not mean that he is not flustered by it. It does not help that the cornflower blue fabric of the silk ribbon he holds matches your skirt perfectly.

The next morning, Felix arrives at a predicament: what does one wear to a tea party if one has never been to such an event before? After much deliberation and a chat with his elderly neighbor, he decides on his Sunday best despite the day being Saturday. He hangs up a sign in the window of his shop stating that he is closed and begins the walk to Miss Shin’s residence.

Unfortunately, the journey is more arduous than he expects as her home is well outside the city. The vast, open countryside is a stark contrast to the cramped buildings Felix is used to, so he spends most of his time admiring the greens and browns of around him. The scenery is the only pleasant part of his day thus far. His newly polished black boots are dusty from the dirt path he walks on, and there is a thin layer of perspiration on his face.

Sometime in the midmorning, a horse-pulled wagon passes by him, and the occupant facing the back calls out to him in a decidedly ungentlemanly fashion when he sees Felix.

“Sir in the blue coat! Mr. Lee, is that you?” he shouts as he stands up while the wagon is still being driven. “It is! Mr. Yang, stop the cart.”

The wagon slows to a stop, and the loud gentleman waves Felix over. “Mr. Lee! It’s Mr. Han Jisung! Would you like a lift?”

Felix graciously accepts his offer and sits at the back with him. He then greets both men with a nod. Jeongin, the poor driver who looks like he is still half asleep, urges the horse forward.

“Are you heading to Miss Shin’s as well?” Felix asks. Mr. Han is a renowned dressmaker known for his use of mechanical moving elements in his designs, which now that Felix thinks about, is similar to his own specialty. If Miss Shin desires a grandiose debut dress, Mr. Han is the one to order from.

Mr. Han nods and pulls an envelope from his coat. It is the same cream colored one Felix has tucked away in his own, the only difference being the name of the individual being addressed on the front. “I’ve made a few things for her before, but this is the first time she’s invited me to her home. And for a tea party of all things! Have you been to her home before?”

“No. She has never ordered from me either. A friend of hers gave me the invite.” Mr. Han ponders over this for some time, and Felix adds, “Her friend believes that Miss Shin is planning her debut ball soon.”

Mr. Han snaps his fingers at the news and nods. “That must be it! She does enjoy extravagant gowns, and your hats would go well with my designs. The singing bird one in your window is astounding! I ought to make something to go with it.”

Felix, thrilled at such a compliment from a man renowned for his mechanical prowess, smiles proudly. For the rest of the way, they talk about other inconsequential things like the weather and the traveling play troupe.

Soon, they arrive at their destination. The conversation quickly dies away once they take in the estate. Miss Shin has no title, yet her family’s home is fit for a duke or even a king. The exterior paint is a blinding white, not a trace of soot anywhere despite there being a carefully hidden coal burner at the side of the mansion. The front door boasts of a large brass knocker and stained glass cutouts, while the front gardens have a large fountain as a centerpiece.

Mr. Han speaks, or rather whispers, first. “This is certainly a sight.”

“I would say so.”

The driver parks his wagon, dilapidated and shabby compared to the gleaming carriage by the entrance, a short distance behind the carriage. Felix and Mr. Han hop off the wagon while Mr. Yang drives the horse to the stables, also magnificent in their own right. As they walk to the front door, the carriage door opens and out steps another familiar face. Felix and Mr. Han raise their top hats and bow to you, and you curtsy once your footman has helped you down. Your chaperone, who was absent yesterday, follows, and Felix and Mr. Han greet her as well. Felix averts his eyes in an attempt to rid himself of the memory.

“Mr. Lee,” you say. “And you are Mr. Han, I believe? Miss Shin talks at great length about your designs. I’ve been meaning to buy one myself.”

Mr. Han beams at this and holds his arm out for you as your small group approaches the stairs. When you take it, Felix feels a twinge of envy. Instead, he offers his arm out to your chaperone, who also takes it.

A butler, an automaton of the latest model, guides the guests to the garden out back where the party is occuring. Felix cannot help but admire the clever design of the large clock in the foyer and decides he ought to make a clockwork hat soon. The garden, lush with more greenery and sweet scented flowers, has a round table topped with empty plates and pots of tea. The young lady wearing a large brimmed hat with dangling gemstones must be Miss Shin. A hat enthusiast indeed.

You let go of Mr. Han’s arm and head to embrace her. “Ryujin! It’s so nice to see you again!” You turn back and gesture at the two men who accompanied you inside her home. “You know Mr. Han of course, but this is Mr. Lee, the hatmaker you have been inquiring about.”

Felix bows to Miss Shin. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss Shin.”

“And you, Mr. Lee. Come, have a seat.”

After the guests take their places — Felix happily notes that you take the seat across from his — Miss Shin signals the automaton waitstaff to begin bringing out the food and pours tea for everyone. There are small tea cakes, finger sandwiches, and other morsels of food that seem too delicate to eat. You make light conversation about how lovely everything is, and Mr. Han agrees. For the next few minutes, there is idle small talk about the garden while the craftsmen impatiently wait for Miss Shin to address why she has invited them to her party. Mr. Han, however, asks before she says anything.

Miss Shin is not perturbed by this. In fact, she smiles broadly at the opportunity. “My debut into society will occur in the upcoming season, and I intend to have a spectacular one. You two gentlemen design the most exquisite clothes, and I need something unlike anything the world has ever seen.”

Felix glances over to see your reaction about being correct, but your face is hidden by a porcelain tea cup. When he checks to see his Mr. Han’s reaction, it is similar to his — expectant and excited for a challenge.

“You will all be paid handsomely, of course,” she offhandedly adds. “No expense will be spared.”

“Did you have something in mind?” Mr. Han asks.

“A theme of royal blue and brass,” she dramatically says, waving her lace gloved hands in the air. “I confess, Mr. Han, I was so enamored with the evening gown you made last season that I decided I wanted something like it for my debut ball.”

Felix has nary an idea what she is referring to, but he assumes it is a work of art. On the other hand, you’re nodding your head in agreement.

“Oh, yes. Everyone at the party thought it was divine!”

Miss Shin picks up her tea cup and primly holds it to her lips. “Mr. Han, Mr. Lee: are you interested?”

“Yes,” Felix immediately replies, of which Mr. Han echoes.

“Perfect. I trust that you both will create something magnificent. But enough business talk. For now, please enjoy yourselves.”

The conversation about her debut’s details lasted less than five minutes. However, they defer to Miss Shin’s request. Felix awkwardly sips his Darjeeling tea while Mr. Han selects a pistachio tea cake.

More compliments to the garden and food are made, and it becomes apparent that there is not much else appropriate to chat about. Felix and Mr. Han are both already uncomfortable, and the chaperones and mechanical waitstaff surrounding the table only exacerbate their unease. Despite Felix’s feelings though, attending the tea party is not all terrible. Not only does Felix receive a commission from who he finally realizes is the daughter of the illustrious Shin Industries, he is allowed to spend some time with you. You are jovial and are able to elicit a few laughs from everyone with your humor. Felix adds upon your jokes and turns a pleasant shade of pink when you chortle at his pun.

By midafternoon, the party closes to an end. Felix graciously thanks Miss Shin for the invite and tells her that he will do his utmost best to create a stunning headdress for her. When the butler arrives to escort them to the front entrance, Felix purposely walks slower to be near you.

“I must thank you for your interest in my designs,” he says. “This is quite the opportunity. Without you, I do not think I would have been here today.”

You shake your head. “She would have found out about you anyway. She’s always on the lookout for latest fashions and innovations, so I was surprised that she hadn’t discovered you before I did.”

You are fast approaching the door; Felix remembers the large clock in the front room. Mr. Han is walking quicklier than Felix prefers, so Felix only has a few seconds to come up with something else to say.

“Will you be needing a new headdress for the ball?” he asks.

“Possibly. Of course, I will come to your shop if I find that I do.”

Felix holds out his arm for you to hold as you head down the stairs. Your hand is gloved, and his coat is thick, but it feels as if your bare skin is touching his.

“I look forward to it,” he says.

Right before you step into the carriage, you flash him yet another coquettish smile that makes him flush. “As do I.”

Your chaperone, an austere lady with a high necked dress, arches an eyebrow at this exchange but says nothing. The last Felix sees of you is the long skirt of your cornflower blue gown disappearing into the carriage.

“Mr. Lee, would like a ride back to the city?” Mr. Han asks, jolting Felix out of his thoughts.

“That would be wonderful.”

The journey back is filled with discussion about Miss Shin’s requests. Mr. Han describes the mysterious evening gown: a vision of royal blue silk, lace trimmings, and brass and phosphorus star-like ornaments. Felix realizes that you and Miss Shin share similar tastes for themed clothes. He tells Mr. Han of this, and Mr. Han gives him a sly look.

“If I may be so forward, do you fancy Miss L/N?”

Felix grows hot and directs his gaze to the countryside. “She is merely a customer of mine.”

“Of course, my mistake," he replies, though his tone implies it is anything but.

Fortunately, Mr. Han does not push the topic any further and mercifully changes the subject to decreasing prices of velvet. Felix inwardly sighs in relief.

Several days later, Felix is in the midst of his work when his shop swings open. When he hears the noise, he pushes his tools to the side and replaces the intense scowl with a pleasant smile.

"Welcome! How may I be of service?"

"Good afternoon, Mr. Lee," the young lady greets. She pushes the brim of her gemstone hat back. "I've just had the most wonderful idea for my hat, and I need you to bring it to life!"

Miss Shin has quite the eccentric style, and her grand idea exemplifies it. After a trip to the newfangled aquarium exhibit at the conservatory, she has decided on an oceanic theme for her debut ball and wants an “octopus” upon her head. Felix has no idea what that is.

"It’s a fascinating thing with eight arms. I hear they also call it the devil fish, though it is more devil than fish.”

Miss Shin’s chaperone nods in agreement and shudders at the mention of it. On the other hand, Miss Shin herself seems enamored with such a creature.

“I will do my best. Are your chosen colors the same?”

“Yes. The royal blue will nicely lend itself to the theme.” She sighs dreamily, and Felix wonders how deeply she has thought about this.

“It sounds marvellous. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Not today, but perhaps another time.” She glances back at the door momentarily. “I must go to Mr. Han about this. I’ll be sure to come with payment for it next time. Goodbye, Mr. Lee.”

“Goodbye, Miss Shin.”

The store is quiet again. Instead of picking up his tools, Felix grabs his stovepipe hat from its hook and heads to the local conservatory to get a glimpse of the octopus Miss Shin spoke so earnestly about.

It is indeed as fascinating as she made it out to be. The gears in his head begin to turn.

The following day, Felix spends the late afternoon at Mr. Han’s shop to discuss Miss Shin’s requests. Mr. Han is also amused by the prospect.

“She asked for an octopus-like gown as well,” he remarks. “Have you seen one before?”

“Just yesterday I visited the aquarium. It’s like a balloon with many strings.”

Mr. Han snorts the comment. “How accurate. Are odd creatures the fashion nowadays?”

Before Felix can answer — “I’m not sure, but Miss Shin seems to dictate trends than follow them” — the bell on the shop door rings, indicating someone has come in. Felix stops leaning against the wall and straightens up to greet the person. Upon doing so, he recognizes that said person is you.

You look just as surprised as he is. “Oh, Mr. Lee! Hello. I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Good afternoon, Miss L/N,” he says, bowing. He adjusts his hat to better hide his warming ears.

Mr. Han stands up from behind the counter and smiles broadly. “Miss L/N, Miss Wang,” he says, referring to your chaperone, who seems pleased to be acknowledged. “Are you here for a dress?”

“Yes. I’ve been waiting all week to come here. But just something simple though.”

Mr. Han’s “simple” designs are still far more extravagant than the gowns sold by typical dressmakers, but they seem to be your taste. Felix pretends to be preoccupied by the mechanical doves flying about the skirt of an unfinished dress while you select something from Mr. Han’s inventory. Your constant humming and deliberation make it difficult for him not to be distracted. He sneaks a glance at you, and you are browsing through the dress forms with interest. A delighted smile appears on your face each time you discover the hidden mechanical details embedded in the fabric.

“I think this one will do,” you say, stopping at a lilac walking dress with small turning gears in place of buttons.

While Mr. Han carefully wraps and packages the gown for you, Felix hovers by the counter, wishing that he had something clever to say. The weather is dull and unimaginative, the current traveling play troupe in town has been discussed to death, and the tea party from last week is old news.

“Have you seen an octopus before?” he blurts out, forgoing a transition. He regrets his decision when he realizes how impolite it is. He thinks he hears Mr. Han stifle a laugh at his eagerness.

To his relief, you don’t seem to care. “Oh, yes! I visited the exhibit at the conservatory a few days ago and saw one up close. A frightening but intriguing beast.”

“It is.” He’s running out of words now. Mr. Han seems to be spending a lengthy amount of time tying twine.

“What did you think of it?” you ask, oblivious to Felix’s increasing internal panic. “I assume you have seen one by your words.”

If he didn’t fancy you before, he does now. “Intriguing as well. And inspiring. It’s unlike anything I have ever seen.”

“Should I expect an octopus hat for sale soon?” you teasingly say. “I imagine you would be able to make something spectacular. You are quite the inventor.”

Your chaperone makes a noise of disapproval at your blatant flattery and possible flirting. “Miss L/N, I believe it is time for us to go. Now.”

You take your parcel from Mr. Han and thank him. To Felix, you grin and say, “I look forward to the hat.”

“Miss L/N, that is enough.”

You bid the two men goodbye and follow your chaperone out the door. Felix hears you grumble, “Fei, you are not very fun.”

When the door shuts, Mr. Han turns to Felix with a satisfied expression. “You’re welcome, by the way. What a shame Miss Wang interrupted.”

“I haven’t a clue what you’re referring to,” Felix says, a pleased blush spreading across his cheeks. There’s no denying that he enjoys being on the receiving end of your advances, no matter how much he pretends he doesn’t notice them. “I think it is best that I go now as well. To start on the drafting process.”

“Oh, you have an idea? What is it?”

Felix describes it to him, detailing the waving tentacles he has envisioned and the way they could be coiled into Miss Shin’s hair if she wished. Mr. Han looks impressed by his ingenuity and ponders over the design like he’s considering something similar.

“I’ll let you take your leave,” Mr. Han says. He unrolls some more length of butcher paper onto the counter and picks up his pencil. “You’re not going to chase after her, are you?”

“I wouldn’t do such a thing!”

Mr. Han nods, clearly not believing him. “Alright then. I hope your plan goes well. Good day, Mr. Lee.”

“Good day.”

True to his word, Felix heads back to his shop and does not run after you. He leaves the ‘CLOSED’ sign hanging in the window and heads to his work surface to begin the calculations for Miss Shin’s headdress. However, even with such an important task at hand, his mind still drifts to you.

He wonders why he is so easily tempted by your flirting. Yes, you are pretty, but beauty alone has never made his heart beat nearly as quickly as it does when he is around you. Your natural charm borders on brazenness sometimes, but he doesn’t detest it. To be honest, it’s refreshing in an era where everyone’s advances are supposed to be reserved and ambiguous.

He realizes he has answered his own question.

With a soft sigh, he returns to his sketches, each curve of his drawings reminding him of your carefree smile. He fancies you. He fancies you a lot.

As midwinter approaches and the beginning of the season begins, Felix’s shop is flooded with customers wanting new hats. Somehow, word has gotten out among the upper class about the new hatmaker with fine craftsmanship and one-of-a-kind designs. Most of his finished products are snatched up, and several people ask about placing future orders. He takes a select few; after all, he has another very important project that needs to be done.

He asks Mr. Han if he has experienced this wave of new business as well, to which Mr. Han says something similar happens to him every season.

“You’re a new face, so it’s natural,” he assures. “I imagine Miss Shin’s upcoming ball has much to do with it as well.”

Felix does not fully understand Mr. Han’s remark until Miss Shin stops by with her payment days later. She gives him a little more than necessary, but when Felix tries to hand the remainder back, she waves it off, citing it as a gesture of her appreciation.

With more cheer than before, Felix shows Miss Shin the progress he has made on her headdress so far: tentacles that trail down the back, moving pieces that make it appear the arms are waving, and glowing phosphorus eyes. Miss Shin marvells over each element and declares it spectacular. Then she pulls an envelope from her reticule and presents it to Felix, who stares at it not unlike he did weeks ago to a similar piece of stationery.

His name is clearly written on the front, but he hesitantly asks, “It is for me?”

“Yes. An invitation to my debut.”

You will certainly be there as a member of Miss Shin’s court, and if he goes, then…

Perhaps a dance? A chat? His mind spins with possibilities. However, he’s more concerned about why he’s being invited to such a high-class affair as a hatmaker.

“Pardon me, but why am I invited?”

“In case of mechanical errors. I can’t have the day spoiled because of something like that. Not that I expect it to,” she hastily adds after seeing Felix’s affronted expression. “Mr. Han has been invited for the same reason. It’s simply a precaution.”

“I see.”

“A few of my friends are asking about you as well. Besides,” she slyly adds, “you’re a young, eligible gentleman. I’m sure someone will be delighted with your presence.”

Felix nods slowly as if he is thinking it over. Is she talking about you? He certainly hopes so. “Thank you for the invite. Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

“Just sure to attend my debut. Anyway, I must be on my way now. Good day, Mr. Lee.”

“Good day.”

She and her chaperone head for the door. Once they are out of sight, Felix breaks the seal on the envelope and notes the date of the party: nearly a fortnight away. No matter his previous apprehensions about it, he is going to attend. He would be a fool not to.

The ball is in a week’s time, and Felix has spent the past few days and nights putting the finishing touches to the octopus headdress. It is done now, nary a mechanical error or physical blemish in sight. He even has Mr. Han look it over, and the mechanical genius himself deems it to be perfect.

Felix sighs in relief and sinks into his chair, the cushion worn thin from so many hours of him sitting on it. “This was the most challenging design I have ever done.”

“You did a splendid job,” Mr. Han reassures. “Would you like me to mail it to her along with her dress? I’m nearly done with it.”

“That would be wonderful.” He doubts Miss Shin will return since he has not heard a word from her since she last visited a week ago. The pieces of gossip he overhears from customers corroborate his assumptions; they whisper about Miss Shin overseeing the planning of her extravagant ball by herself and how exhausting it must be.

He delicately places the hat into a velvet-lined hatbox and covers the top with tissue paper. Then he pops on the lid.

“Are you attending her debut?” he asks. “Miss Shin said she invited you.”

“Of course!” he replies, and Felix is glad that he won’t be the lone craftsman there. “It’s far too good of a business opportunity to pass up. I take it you will be there as well?”

“Like you said, it’s far too good of a business opportunity to pass up.”

“And other kinds of opportunities as well.” He glances at the clock hanging above Felix’s head. “Ah, I ought to get going. This was supposed to be a quick break. Goodbye, Mr. Lee.”

Mr. Han holds the box close to his chest when he leaves. Felix watches closely and relaxes when Mr. Han does not run down the street like he expected him to. He trusts that the hat will arrive in perfect condition, but if it does not, well, that is why Miss Shin invited him to attend the ball in the first place.

Despite knowing that he will be going to an upscale affair, he has not prepared himself in the slightest. After deliberating for a few minutes, Felix takes up his stovepipe hat and heads down the street as well. If he wants to impress you — potential future customers, he means — he should at least buy a new coat and cravat.

On the day of the highly anticipated ball, Felix rises before the sun. It’s an evening party, so he needn’t be up so early, but he cannot sleep. His body is tired and demands to rest, but his mind is buzzing. As such, he brews himself a cup of tea and begins searching through old design sketches to fix.  

Two redesigns and recalculations later, a gentle tap on the storefront’s window makes him look up. He has only had a half a cup of tea, so he is unsure if his eyes are truly working when he spots you standing outside. He isn’t even open for business yet. You cup the glass door and peer inside, presumably to see if he is awake yet. He blinks twice, and you are still there.

He walks over and unlocks the door, making you take a step back. When he sees you wearing in the purple walking dress you bought weeks ago, he feels disheveled in comparison. He pats down his uncombed hair. “Good morning, Miss L/N.”

“Good morning, Mr. Lee. I apologize for coming this hour, but it was urgent, and I wasn’t sure if there would be enough time if I came by later.”

Felix is wide awake now. “What is the matter?”

You hold out a bronze hatbox to him. “Do you remember the blooming rose headdress you made? Well, I was careless last night and accidentally dropped it. It’s broken, and I was planning to wear it tonight. Is there a chance it could be repaired by then?”

“May I…” He hovers his hand over the box, his fingers just a few centimeters above yours.

“Yes! Of course.”

Felix opens it, and to his relief, the damage is not as bad as he expects. There are a few petals askew, jamming the other flowers around it and causing the entire mechanical rose garden to stutter. The only other concern is the small grease stain on the silk ribbon, but that is a simple fix. He wonders where you dropped it. Certainly not on the ground since the damage seems to be minimal.

“I can repair it. Could you come back in a few hours? Around mid-morning?”

You sheepishly smile at him. “Would it be possible for you to give it to me at the party? I wasn’t actually given permission to leave the house today.”

It is then that Felix notices that, once again, you have no chaperone with you. Or does your carriage driver count as one, he flippantly thinks. It does not matter though. The sudden realization about the inappropriate situation makes him more shy.

He takes the box from you and steps back into the safety of his store. With the clear door threshold dividing the two of you, he feels much more at ease. You seem slightly saddened by this, but perhaps it is his wishful thinkings.

“Of course,” he says, trying to hide his reddening face by looking at the cobblestone pavement. “Where shall I wait for you?”

“By the fountain in the front gardens. I have to arrive at the Shin residence early, so it will likely be me waiting for you.”

Felix nods and takes one small step backwards. “I will see you tonight then, Miss L/N. Good day.”

“Good day, Mr. Lee. And thank you for your help.”

You walk back to your carriage and wave goodbye when you see that he is still standing by the door. He weakly waves back and scurries to his work table where he promptly sets the box down and whispers panicked mutterings to himself. He feels like he’s overheating.

He drinks the remainder of his tea to cool himself down before settling into his chair. He reaches for his tools and begins taking apart the mechanical flowers. It is a distraction from you but not a very good one.

When Mr. Han show up in an actual carriage in the evening, Felix’s nerves are not any better. He fumbled with the top buttons of his shirt while dressing, and it took him several attempts to tie his cravat correctly. Now, every bit of his body tremors as he steps inside the carriage.

“Well, don’t we look like dandies tonight?” Mr. Han remarks. He eyes the hatbox Felix has on his lap. “Did Miss Shin send it back?”

“Miss L/N needed an emergency repair,” Felix responds as he pretends to adjust his cravat, making it look worse than it did mere seconds ago. The evening air is warmer than he anticipated. “Are you excited?”

Mr. Han lets his poor attempt at steering the conversation away slide. “More or less. I would rather be at home, but parties can be fun.”

Felix is inclined to agree, though he is most excited and terrified at the prospect of seeing you again. The conversation devolves into silence as both gentlemen stare out the windows, observing the countryside at night. There is not a hint of light save for the moon and stars above. The wind blows in any direction uninterrupted, making the grass and wildflowers rustle.

It is a romantic picture.

Soon, the natural countryside begins to wane as they approach Shin residence, lit up in shades of blue with phosphorus lamps, comes into view. There is a line of carriages on the gravel path leading inside the estate. They are one of the last ones, and Felix is overwhelmed by guilt for being so late. How long did he make you wait? Mr. Han pokes his head out the window and mouths an exclamation at the sight.

“I don’t think I have seen or even heard of a debut ball of this size,” he says. “Well, she did that no expense would be spared.”

Felix, even more anxious about the party now, only nods in agreement. As their carriage nears the entrance, he scans the gardens for the designated meeting spot. There is a shadowy figure by the fountain, nearly hidden by the tall hedges. Although he cannot make out who it exactly is, it must be you.

When they finally reach the entrance, he opens the door and steps out with your hatbox tucked under your arm. He heads towards the fountain, the opposite from the main door of the house. The driver, the same one as last time, gives him a strange look but says nothing. Mr. Han seems to understand and says that he will see him inside.

Felix slows his pace, making sure that the few guests waiting to be let into the estate will be inside by the way he reaches you. There are curious glances in his direction, but they rapidly turn to the decorated main door as the line moves forward. Once there is no one left outside, he quickly strides over to the fountain. You are nowhere in sight, so he presumes that you are behind a hedge. Hopefully, you have not left.

“Miss L/N,” he softly calls, “are you here yet?”

Like he hopes, you walk out from behind a hedge, the hem of your dress showing up first. Felix has to suppress a gasp when you stop right in front of him. You are very close, and your evening gown and typical daywear are vastly different. Your bare shoulders, to put it mildly, are distracting.

“Hello, Mr. Lee. How are you tonight?”

“I am well, thank you.” It comes out a little strained, and to deflect from that, he holds out the hatbox. “Your headdress, as requested.”

“Thank you. The ball has started, so I should head back before they notice me missing.” You take it from him and hold it in your arms. “Shall we head in together?”

You really are brazen. As much as he would like to spend more time with you, he knows the social implications it has and the damage that will be done to your reputation. This very act of meeting you alone is illicit.

“I think I would like to wander the gardens some more,” he lies. He vaguely gestures at the plants. “They’re quite lovely.”

You give him a half smile. “They are. Ask me for a dance later, will you? I would very much like it. Until then. ”

Like nothing out of ordinary occurred, you merrily head back to the house, leaving Felix at a loss for words. He paces around the fountain and imagines the conversation over and over again. You were no doubt flirting with him. He is beyond delighted, but he has no idea what to do with this newfound development. He spent the last months admiring you from afar.

Ten minutes later, after he is certain that no one will connect your reappearance with his, he finds himself inside the bustling ballroom of the mansion. ‘No expense spared’ is correct.

There is a full orchestra playing on a raised section and a quadrille underway. He must have missed the first dance. The automaton waitstaff are conducting their own dance through the crowd as they distribute drinks and collect empty plates. The oceanic theme, so earnestly described by Miss Shin, has come to life with the blue tinted lighting and sea creature motifs decorating the walls. Felix notes that although there are many species of fish, the devil fish is not among them. Against the west wall leans the refreshment table, draped with scalloped tablecloth reminiscent of the waves. Just a few steps away, to Felix’s amazement, is an enormous aquarium filled with exotic fishes and elegant aquatic plants. He suspects that the conservatory might have loaned them for the night. However, he would not be surprised if the Shins had their own aquarium.

“There you are.” Mr. Han emerges from the crowd, relief clear on his face. “Miss Shin has been wondering where you were. I didn’t say anything about your… plans, but I may have given her the impression that you got lost on the grounds somehow.”

Mr. Han leads Felix to wherever Miss Shin is. In the meantime, Felix hopes that she just wants to introduce him to a few of her friends and not that her headdress needs to be fixed. Imagine how mortifying that would be.

“Mr. Lee! You’ve arrived!” she exclaims. The surrounding guests all immediately turn to get a look at him, and he feels embarrassment coloring his face. “Everyone, this is the gentleman who created this extraordinary octopus upon my head.”

Just like that, Felix is inundated with questions.

“How long did it take?”

“What excellent craftsmanship! Are you taking commissions now?”

“How much for a hat?”

Felix politely answers them all, half bewildered and half pleased by the attention. Mr. Han watches from the sidelines with a proud expression and gives Felix encouraging nods when no one is looking. Several minutes later, Felix has earned himself a slew of new potential customers, all who are more than willing to pay a visit to his shop the next time they are in town.

“It has been in perfect working order ever since I received it,” Miss Shin reports. She reaches up to adjust one of the metal tentacles coiled into her hair. “You won’t be disappointed.”

Felix relaxes when he hears the good news. “Thank you for compliments. Pardon my manners, but I do not think I have mentioned how wonderful the evening has been so far. Your ball is a true success.”

“Thank you,” she says, the ever gracious hostess. “Do enjoy the rest of the party.”

One of her court members adds, “And do be a gentleman and ask a certain Miss Y/N L/N for a dance.”

“Yuna! Don’t be so—”

Felix does not get to hear what Miss Shin says next since Mr. Han pulls him away to the refreshment table, far away from where they were. Thank goodness for his perceptiveness. Felix is only a few shades lighter than crimson.

He does intend to ask you to dance, but the question is when? You were not with the other court members by Miss Shin, and at a party this large, he is unsure if he will even be able to find you.

“Having fun so far?” Mr. Han asks as he plucks a cream and jam roll in the shape of a fish off a serving tray. “It seems like everyone knows about your fancies.”

Felix ignores the last sentence. “It’s a magnificent party. It really does feel like we are all in the depths of the ocean here. Are you enjoying yourself?”

“More or less. The food is divine.” He punctuates the remark by grabbing another roll. “If I were less refined, I might just filch the entire tray.”

By the way Mr. Han is marvelling over the selection, Felix does not put it past him. He is not in any place to judge though; he, too, is considering taking a few treats home to eat.

“Mr. Han! And Mr. Lee as well! Good evening.”

Felix does not have to turn around to know who it is. Mr. Han’s sly face gives it all away, and your voice has become all too familiar to him.

Mr. Han greets, “Miss L/N! How lovely you look tonight.”

In the darkness, Felix was not able to see you clearly. Under the phosphorus lights and gas lamps, you are radiant.

He first notices the gold roses, slowly blossoming and then slowly wilting, adorning your head. Then his eyes travel downward to the ribbon choker around your throat and to your shoulders. He quickly averts his eyes to the evening gown you wear — sage green with an understated floral pattern, which perfectly matches your headdress. The fan in your hand is closed shut, the golden handle appearing bronze under the lights. He cannot bring himself to look at your face; he can already imagine the pretty smile you have, and that alone is making him grow warm.

“I do believe that is Miss Choi!” Mr. Han interjects. “Pardon me, I must speak to her immediately.”

You and Felix bid him goodbye, leaving the two of you alone. You wait for him to greet you, speak, something, but nothing comes to mind. He steadily shifts his gaze upwards and tries to lessen his blush when he sees the corner of your mouth quirked up.

“Did they miss you?” he says, breaking the silence. “Miss Shin and the rest of the court, I mean.”

“I don’t think so, being a very busy night and all. I think they were more concerned about dancing.”

Which reminds him…

With as much confidence as he can muster, he holds out his right hand to you. “Would you like to dance, Miss L/N? I recall you requested one.”

You place your left hand in his and let him guide you to the middle of the dance floor. “I must confess, I only came to ask you if you were going to ask me to dance.”

“I would not have forgotten.”

“Are you certain?” you tease. “It seems like you only remembered when mentioned dancing.”

“Believe me, Miss L/N, I would never be able to forget such a bold request.”

He knows exactly where the surge of genuine confidence came from. The second he felt your fingers on his palm, something inside him lit up. Your touch made the moment so much more real, his wishings no longer daydreams.

The quadrille finishes, and the orchestra starts playing a waltz. Though he is stunned by the change — he had been anticipating walking and turning about you, not twirling you around — you are not. While you curtsy as a formal greeting before the dance, you deftly switch your fan to your left hand. Before he can bow in return, you hold his left hand and smile demurely at him.

“I have another confession to make Mr. Lee: I have been waiting to dance with you for the longest time now.”

He cautiously presses his hand to the small of your back, pulling you a bit closer than social customs allows. He can blame it on the crowded ballroom. He can feel your warmth through the fabric, and it occurs to him that you are in his arms just like in all those outdated fairy tales.

“If we are making confessions, then I suppose I have one as well,” he says.

He hears the expectant note in your voice. “And what is it?”

“I wanted to dance with you too.”

It’s a simple statement, but you grin from ear to ear, so bright the rest of the room seems dark in comparison. His heart flutters. When he twirls you around again, you lean your head back and sigh.

“You are marvellous dancer,” you remark as you sweep back your skirts to make more room for him. “Did you take lessons? Or do you just have a natural talent for it?”

“A bit of both. I took some about four years ago during my apprenticeship. I guess I still remember the basics.”

“No time for anymore now, I presume, with the amount of business you have been getting. Ever since I bought the butterfly headdress — do you remember that? It was ages ago, but it was the first one I bought from you.”

Felix remembers that day very well. He had opened his shop just half a year ago, and you and your chaperone stumbled in to wait out the rain. While you were captivated by the beating wings of a butterfly, he was awestruck by your gaiety on such a gloomy day. The silk flowers of your bonnet were drooping, your jacket damp from the incoming storm, and your face flushed from running, but your eyes held wonder and your lips a song.

You sang so much praise for the headdress that he went to bed that night hearing it in his sleep.

“Anyway,” you continue, “from the first time I came to your shop, I just knew you were talented. How long have you been working as a hatmaker? Your age and expertise don’t seem to match up. You are quite young compared to the other mechanical and automaton designers.”

“A year and a half now. I took over the business when my mentor retired. I do not think I am much older than you.”

You ponder over this for a while. “Forgive my forwardness and my lack of regard for etiquette — being friends with Ryujin for so long has its flaws — but are you courting anyone?”

Felix stops breathing for a few seconds. “I am not. Why?”

“Just check— just curious. Well, perhaps you will find someone that interests you here. You could ask someone to dance and talk to them to see if they catch your fancy.” Your expression is innocent, but your words are laced with whimsy.

“Who do you think would be a good match for me?” he asks, playing along. “Surely you know a few of the guests here.”

You pretend to think it over, pursing your lips together in concentration. Felix thickly swallows and glances at the space between your brows instead. His heartbeat is even more erratic than before.

“I don’t like to gossip, but I did hear a rumor that a young lady on the debutante’s court is interested in being courted soon. Her coming-out will be happening this season.”

“Ah, interesting,” he replies in an overly thoughtful manner. “If only I could receive an invite to the event. I am afraid that I am rather unfamiliar with most of the people here.”

“I think I can help with that,” you say. “I will speak to her about it. I’m sure she would love for you to attend.”

He tries to keep an air of nonchalance but fails when he spots your lips twitching into a smile. “Thank you, Miss L/N. I greatly appreciate it.”

Like the scene has been rehearsed before, the waltz ends then. Felix shallowly dips you like the dance dictates and helps right you back up. In doing so, you wind up far closer to him than you were before. You are pressed up against his chest, and he can hear your breaths. With the bubble of intimacy gone and the reality of the situation settling in, Felix hurries backwards, confidence dissipating.

He is not alone though. You snap your fan open, drawing it across your cheeks and concealing your face. He does not think he has seen you this flustered before.

“Thank you for the dance,” you tell him behind the painted screen. “You were a wonderful partner.”

“You were as well.”

The two of you walk to the sidelines together, an appropriate distance apart. He glances over to you occasionally and notes that your usual cool composure has not returned yet. Before Felix can continue the conversation, the excitable young lady — Miss Yuna Whatever-Her-Surname-Is — emerges from the crowd and rushes to you.

“Y/N! Do tell us about it!” she exclaims, forgetting that Felix is right there. She sidles up to you, holds your arm, and waits expectantly for the details.

You duck a little lower behind your fan and hiss, “Yuna!”

“Good night, Miss L/N,” Felix says. “It was a pleasure to dance with you.”

He makes himself scarce but not before he overhears you laugh and sigh, “Yuna Shin, don’t ever do that again. But yes, it was all very lovely.” He swells with joy.

The orchestra has started another waltz, one that is uplifting and bright. Felix hums along to it as he heads to the refreshment table. Almost unsurprisingly, Mr. Han is still there as well with a miniature trifle in hand. The dessert looks unappetizing to Felix with its blue layers, but Mr. Han is enjoying it.

“You don’t like dancing?” Felix says as he inspects the table for a drink.

“The contrary. This is just replenishment for the night.” He spoons another bite into his mouth. “And all the ladies seem to be on the dance floor anyway.”

Felix finds a cup of punch and drinks it heartily. He has never attended a debut ball before, so he is not sure of what there is to do other than dance and mill around. He spends some time observing the creatures in the aquarium nearby. There is unfortunately not an octopus in the glass tanks, leading him to believe that this is the Shins’ own aquarium.

He returns back to Mr. Han, and the two spy a few of their creations in the crowd. They all seem to be garnering attention from other guests, which bodes well for their financial future. Mr. Han, who is much more knowledgeable about who is who, updates him on the latest news regarding each of the guests. Felix nods along, only partially paying attention to his words as he watches couples dance at the same time.

As much fun as it is to be an observer though, it gets dull quickly when Felix realizes how much he would rather be home than here. He has no idea where you currently are, but it would be impolite for him to monopolize your time with another dance. Not to mention, it would stir rumors, and he wants no part in them.

“Would it be rude to leave now?” he rhetorically asks.

Mr. Han ponders over this. “Considering it has only been an hour, I think so, but let’s leave anyway.” He picks up a napkin and starts surreptitiously piling rolls and tarts inside. “Keep watch for me.”

Felix complies by standing right in front of the napkin and thus obstructing the view from the rest of the room. “You just said it would be rude.”

“I have to open early tomorrow, and so do you. New commissions to work on and all that.”

The people in his life, Felix notes, have a tendency to disregard social customs. However, he does not mind in this case or your case. Mr. Han filches a few more desserts at the behest of Felix, and the two wait for Miss Shin to finish her waltz to say goodbye.

“So early? The ball has just begun! And what if a problem arises?”

Felix gives this comment pause, but Mr. Han bats it away as if it were merely a pesky bug. “Miss Shin, I assure you that all of my — and Mr. Lee’s as well — are in perfect working order. When has anything I made for you been otherwise?”

While the two of them discuss this, Felix stands by and adds whatever he can. Both Mr. Han and Miss Shin are quick with their replies, and there is hardly a break in between. However, Miss Shin eventually concedes after learning of the new work they have to start.

“Very well. Thank you for attending” — she taps one of the brass tentacles on her skirt with her matching fan — “and for this beautiful evening gown. And thank you for the wonderful headdress, Mr. Lee.”

“It was our pleasure,” Felix answers. “Good night, Miss Shin.”

Felix and Mr. Han make their way to the exit, sidestepping the people lingering around the windows. Felix glances around to find you. He wants to give you a proper goodbye, but you are nowhere to be seen. There are no gold roses in the sea of people. He resigns to his predicament and hopes that you will not be too disappointed that he danced and left.

The area outside the mansion, swarming with exhilarated guests not too long ago, is empty. The blue lamps illuminating the cobblestone path seem forlorn instead of lively, and the silence only emphasizes the feeling.

“I’ll get the carriage,” Mr. Han offers, already heading in that direction. “Just wait here.”

Felix sits on the last step of the stairs and listens to the crickets in the bushes. The moon is higher in the sky now, and the wind from earlier has died down to a breeze. He sighs and loosens his cravat leans backwards on his forearms, enjoying the cool air on his face. It is a pleasant contrast to the party inside.

“You could have said goodbye at least.”

When he turns around, fumbling about and trying to make himself presentable again, you are standing a few steps above him. You said the words jokingly, but he hears the hurt underneath.

“I apologize,” he whispers. The darkness hides his guilt well. “I couldn’t find you.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Not one for parties, I take it?”

“I only came to talk and dance with you,” he admits, growing more embarrassed by the second. “If things were different, I would stay all night, but once I used my chance, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“We could have still chatted after.” You walk down to his step and sit beside him, the silk of your gown brushing against his leg. The only thing separating the two of you is your wide skirt. You place your hand only a few centimeters away from his on the steps. “I know I was acting a bit silly earlier, so I want to ask you outright. Forgive my forwardness, but do you intend to court me, or am I just seeing things that are not there?”

Felix goes still. He had not thought about his feelings that way. He certainly likes you, but a courtship never even crossed his mind because of how far up the social ladder you were. He wanted to catch your eye, but he never thought you would pay genuine attention back to him.

“Because if you do,” you continue after he says nothing, “I want to be courted seriously. If you are merely teasing me, then tell me now.”

“Miss L/N, are you teasing me now? I am no one important, yet you pursue me.”

“I am not teasing, I swear,” you solemnly say, looking directly into his eyes. “I will not play with your heart like that. And to me, you are important. Never mind the wonderful things you have made for me, I like you. You and how industrious you are, how assured you are in yourself, how you play along with my jokes for my sake. You are nothing like all the rakes and fops around me.”

He can hardly believe his ears. After a tense silence, he says, “If you will let me, I will court you seriously.”

“Mr. Lee, I have always allowed it. Every joke, every smile — it was an invitation for you.” He glances over at you in shock, and you halfheartedly smile at him. “Perhaps I was not clear enough about my advances.”

“No. I was simply too afraid to act upon them. I did not realize your intentions were pure.”

“I assure you, Mr. Lee, you were the only gentleman I flirted with.”

The nearby sound of a horse trotting interrupts the moment. Felix glances down to where the stables are and spies a silhouetted carriage approaching. Mr. Han was quick with his task, and Felix wishes he had been less so.

Having seen the same thing, you stand up and fluff out your skirt, preparing to go back inside. The silk ripples in waves, and Felix stares in fascination. You catch him in the act and flash him a knowing smile. “Good night. I hope to see you soon.”

Felix bashfully replies, “Good night.”

You give him one last look and hurry away before company arrives. Your head bobs up and down as you take the stairs two by two, and Felix watches you disappear into the mansion. He is still staring at the door when the carriage drives up.

“Mr. Lee!”

“Coming!”

The journey back to the city is mostly silent since Mr. Han seems worn out by the night’s events already. Felix does not try to engage him in conversation, choosing instead to sink into the velvet seat and to admire the sky. If he looks at it long enough, he thinks he can see your face among the constellations.

The following days, all Felix hears about in the sparse amount of time he interacts with customers — his shop has been mostly devoid of hats and headdresses ever since Miss Shin introduced him to all her friends — is Miss Shin’s debut. Every piece of gossip he overhears while out revolves around it and the other upcoming debut balls in the season. On one of his outings to the market, your name is mentioned, and he stops in his tracks. He pretends to check his pocket watch and turns it over and over in his hands as if he has found a new scuff mark on the brass.

“I heard she sent out the invites already,” says the young lady with a pink bonnet. “Did you get one?”

“Of course! But Tzuyu Chou’s ball is on the same night, so which one do I go to?”

“Both, silly! Just leave one of them early and—”

Once the topic changes, Felix quits his act and continues onward to the market. He has not received an invitation to your ball yet, and surely that was what you were alluding to during the waltz. Perhaps you are going to hand-deliver it yourself. That is all he can hope for because the other reason is that you have changed your mind about him.

When he returns to his shop with new bronze sheets and copper wiring, he is disappointed. You are not waiting outside nor is there an envelope tucked underneath his door. Felix brews himself a cup of tea and settles at his work table chair. He pulls out his sketches for a hat decorated with swimming fish and starts on its construction. All he can do now is wait.

After several days and far too much time spent agonizing over the issue, you finally grace Felix’s shop with your presence. When the bell on the door chimes and he sees you at the threshold, he nearly leaps out from behind the counter, shoving away his tools in a weak attempt to appear well put together. He wipes a spot of grease from his brow with the back of his hand and bows at you in greeting.

“Welcome. How may I be of service?”

“Are you accepting custom orders right now?” you ask, walking closer to him. Your chaperone follows closely behind to ensure that you are not about to blatantly flirt with him again, though Felix has a sneaking feeling that you will anyway. “I heard you might be busy. It seems like everyone wants a hat from you now.”

“What did you have in mind?”

You glance at the current project is working on. “Actually, that one seems interesting. Or is it someone else’s?”

The clockwork hat is indeed someone else’s, Miss Lia Choi, to be precise. “It is.”

“Ah, I see.” You do not look the slightest bit dejected at the news. “Well, I think something with butterflies would be lovely. I have lots of good memories involving them, so I want them to be part of my debut ball.”

Felix cannot get a single sound out, so he elects to duck back behind the counter. He picks up his pencil and rolls out another sheet of butcher paper. The blank canvas stares back at him, and he hastily sketches the form of the headdress like he wants to show you an idea he has in mind. He has nothing in his mind. He cannot think after a statement like that. He puts the pencil down.

“I can have a rough draft of the headdress done in a few days,” he says. “Or do you have a design planned out?”

“Perhaps something like this?” You take the pencil from the counter, your fingers brushing against his in a manner that is not accidental.

While Felix does his best to maintain his composure in front of your chaperone — she seems to not have noticed your gesture, thankfully — you draw a cluster of butterflies on the side of the headdress and small flowers to fill in the gaps. You mindlessly hum a melody as you sketch, and it sounds awfully similar to a waltz he danced to sometime ago.

You push the paper towards him. “Here.”

He glances over it, lightly touching the lines and curves with his finger. It is a pretty design and very extravagant. He will likely have to make some adjustments so you can actually wear it without injuring your neck, but it is possible to make it into a reality. “I will get to work on it soon. When do you need it by?”

“As soon as possible.” You open your reticule and set down a sheaf of banknotes so large, Felix cannot see your hand at all. “I know you have a long line of customers, so I will pay double the regular price for it to be finished in two weeks’ time.”

He would have done it without the monetary incentive anyway. Nonetheless, he nods and assures you that it will be done by then. You audibly sigh and thank him in advance for his timeliness.

“Is that all for today?” he asks. He wants you to say no, to make up an excuse to stay.

To his disappointment and seemingly to your own as well, you reply, “Yes. I’ve got a busy day ahead of myself. Well, good day. It is always a pleasure coming to your shop.”

“Good day.”

He watches you leave. You do not turn around to give him one last look like he anticipates. Your chaperone is keeping a careful eye on you and your antics, and she is following close behind as you out the door anyway. However, you do smile at him through the window. Even though you will not be able to see it, he returns it.

Once you are out of view, he collects the banknotes on the counter to put away. As he does so, he notices a corner of an envelope peeking out from the pile.

Mr. Felix Lee, it says across the front in black ink.

Could this be the invitation he has been waiting so long for? He does not know what else it could be, but he is still nervous. With trembling fingers, he breaks open the glossy red seal and takes out the stiff cardstock inside.

You have been cordially invited to Miss Y/N L/N’s debut.

He laughs, one mixed with relief and pure joy, and it echoes throughout the shop. The sound bounces off the empty walls like a never-ending symphony of happiness.

Once the euphoria has waned a bit, he sets his previous project and begins refining your sketch. He traces over your butterfly wings, adding more dimension and adjusting angles as he does so. He can already see it coming to life, the wings beating in harmony to the music, the delicate twitches of the antennae as you move your head.

To think that you will be wearing this at your coming-out and that he will be there to see it. Though it is an inside joke between the two of you, it might as well be a public declaration of courtship to him.

He works on your headdress almost feverishly, neglecting his other projects for as long as he can afford. When Mr. Han comes by for tea and a chat a few days later — they have become friends after Miss Shin’s ball — Felix is frantically soldering the minute hand onto one of the many tiny clocks on this hat.

“Do you want any help?” Mr. Han asks, popping the last bite of his biscuit into his mouth. “I do have experience with metalworking, you know.”

“I’m alright,” he mutters. The client is supposed to be arriving within the hour, and he cannot imagine how damaged his reputation will be if someone else other than himself is found working on the hat. He shudders as he pictures the suspicion on his customers’ faces. “Sorry for not being better company.”

“Don’t fret. I only came because I had news regarding Miss L/N.”

Felix nearly misplaces the minute hand in his surprise. He feigns nonchalance at Mr. Han’s statement. “Oh?”

“Do you know Lord Seungmin Kim? Apparently, he is interested in courting her. I overheard someone say that he is to be her partner for the first dance.”

Felix says nothing, just grips his tool tighter and intently stares at the tiny Roman numerals in front of him. He did not expect to be chosen for the honor of the first dance, but it does not mean his pride goes unhurt. Lord Kim, a nobleman with wealth and connections, is well above him in terms of social status.

“That’s… that’s impressive,” he says.

“Yes, and I also heard that she does not want him to be her partner. Something about another gentleman in mind.”

Mr. Han looks pointedly at Felix, who pointedly pretends not to notice it. He affixes the hand to the remaining clock and checks everything once more for any careless errors. His heart thumps in his chest, twice the speed of the soft tick-tocking of the miniature clocks. If he is the alleged gentleman you have in mind, then the first dance would truly be a public declaration.

“Have you been invited?” Mr. Han asks, though it seems as if he already knows the answer.

“Yes. What about you?”

“No.”

As far as he can tell, there are no flaws with the hat, so he puts his tools away. “You seem content with that,” he remarks as he rummages around in his cabinets for an empty hatbox.

“Of course! I will only miss the food, so do filch some for me. I did it at Miss Shin’s.”

Felix makes a noise in acknowledgment. The gears in his head are working overtime as he plots out what your debut will be like. You and him, in each other’s arms, in front of everyone. What will they say? What will he do afterwards?

The sound of a ringing bell interrupts his thoughts, and in flies Miss Choi, another member of Miss Shin’s court and a friend of yours.

“Is it ready? Please tell me it is! I have been waiting all day for it!” she says, breathless from her bursting in. She spies it sitting on the counter and immediately sets it on her head. “It’s lovely! And not heavy at all.”

“Good afternoon, Miss Choi,” the two men chorus.

“Oh, yes. Good afternoon. I didn’t know you two knew each other this well,” she distractedly says. She turns to Felix, her hand reaching for her reticule. “I paid for this already, right?”

He nods. “Last week.”

“Perfect. Oh, goodness” — she glances at the wall-mounted clock behind Felix — “Y/N will be cross with me for being late. I will see you at the ball then, Mr. Lee. Thank you again. Goodbye!”

She leaves in the same frenzied manner as she came, and her worn out chaperone hurries after her.

“That was a confirmation if I ever heard one. She must know the details.”

“That was nothing.” Yet he desperately hopes that it was something.

“You keep pretending that as if no one knows of you and Miss L/N’s relationship. Everyone knows she fancies you, and you her, so there is no need to keep putting up this act.” Mr. Han sighs and crumples up his paper napkin. “I ought to get back to work now. Thank you for the tea.”

“Thank you for the company. Good day, Mr. Han.”

Mr. Han stands up from his seat, throwing his coat back, and heads for the door. “Good day. Do not forget about the food.”

Felix rolls his eyes, but a small smile forces its way onto his face anyway. “I won’t.”

Possibly the most important day of Felix’s day has arrived. He adjusts his cuffs, his cravat, his shirt — everything really —  mindlessly as he waits for the time to tick down. He is restless. His usually nimble fingers turn clumsy when he tries to work on a hat for a client, and he cannot focus on anything. He has not seen you since you dropped off the invitation all those days ago. Your chaperone came to pick up your headdress, and she gave him a cool onceover before advising that he come to the ball a tad earlier.

As such, he locks up his shop two hours before the starting time and makes the walk to the banquet hall where your debut is being held. He could have rented a carriage like Mr. Han did for that seemingly long ago ball, but the hall is not too far away. Being dressed in finery, he receives curious looks from passersby and more batting eyelashes from young girls than he likes.

By the time he arrives at the hall, dusk is darkening into night. The gas lamps on the streets have lit up. He is a little more than half an hour early, which is hopefully sufficient for whatever reason why he was suggested to do so. There are no signs of guests, and stricken by the fact that he has no idea what to do, Felix idles around the entrance. He cannot just barge in; that would be rude. He incessantly checks his pocket watch for the time, wishing that someone would come and save him for this predicament.

Fortunately, his wishes are soon answered. The main doors open, and out steps you in all of your radiance. Your eyes meet his, and all he can do is gaze at you.

Your dress is reminiscent of what you wore at Miss Shin’s debut: a green evening gown dotted with tiny pink blossoms, and gold trim around the shoulders that complements the gilded butterflies that swarm around your head. Green and gold appear to be your signature colors, and you wear them well. Even the lighting seems to be in your favor; warm light spills behind you, highlighting the wisps of your hair.

“Oh, Mr. Lee! I was just coming out to see if you were here yet. Fei said she told you to come early.”

He thickly swallows before greeting, “Good evening, Miss L/N. You look… stunning.”

“Thank you. You look very handsome yourself. Do come in. I have something to discuss with you.”

He follows you to the main hall where the ball is to be held. The entire room is decorated like a greenhouse with vines tumbling down the walls and perfumed flowers on every surface. It is bright inside, as if the banquet hall has been bathed in sunlight. Stationary butterflies hang down from the ceiling, while steel dragonflies are strung like lights across the room. Your court members and some chaperones linger around the refreshment table, no doubt taste testing the morsels you have decided upon. Felix spots a tray of small tea cakes in the shape of leaves and makes a mental note to take a few for Mr. Han.

Upon seeing the two of you walking nearby each other, Miss Wang, your usual chaperone, lets out a theatrical gasp. “Miss L/N! Why did you not ask me to accompany you? You should know better. And on this day as well!”

“Miss Wang, no one is fooled by you. Besides, if it were to be on any day, today is the best choice,” interjects Miss Ryujin Shin, who holds a cup of punch in her hand. “After all, this is the gentleman she desires to court anyway.”

The other chaperones do not seem shocked by this revelation, presumably because they all knew already. Miss Choi and Miss Yuna Shin even clink their glasses against Miss Ryujin Shin’s in a mock toast.

“Ryujin’s right,” you agree. You turn your attention to Felix, and the room goes quiet. “I thought it would be best to ask you in person, and I know I don’t give you much time to think about it, but will you be my partner for the first dance? I meant to ask you the last time I visited, but there were a few things that had to be sorted out before I could.”

The orchestra begins rehearsing then, and the triumphant music perfectly matches how he feels. “I would be honored.”

The ball begins precisely at the hour, but guests begin allowing themselves inside a few minutes before. While you flitter about, greeting guests of importance and smiling at compliments, Felix mills around the sidelines in anticipation of the dance. He recognizes some of his customers, a couple of which say hello and show off the hats and headdresses he has designed for them. He politely engages in conversation with them before looking back at you. He does not know when the dance will begin, and he wants to be prepared for the moment.

Once he is alone again, you approach him with a secretive smile. “Are you ready?”

“Yes. Are you?”

“Of course. Let the ball begin.”

He holds out his hand for you, and you lead him to the center of the dance floor. The crowd takes note of this, and their chatter dies down to murmurs. Felix overhears some of the whispers, most of which are confused questions of who exactly he is, where Lord Kim is, and why you have selected him of all people. They take in his second-rate coat and the way you gaze at him in wonder. It has to be a jest, someone nearby mumbles.

However, you are unfazed by it all. You look over to the orchestra and give them a slight nod. They stop their light, airy opening number and begin a waltz piece. The butterfly wings of your headdress beat at the same tempo, and he suppresses a chuckle at the sight.

This time, Felix holds you at a respectable distance away, not wanting to exacerbate the growing rumors. More couples join in on the floor, but most of the attention is focused on the two of you.

“Everyone is watching,” he whispers as he twirls you around.

“I am the debutante,” you reply. “And it is only natural people stare at such a handsome gentleman.”

You flirt even more shamelessly than before, not even bothering to hide your flattery behind sly words. He has still not gotten used to it, which means his burning red ears are on display for everyone. Still, he smiles. “You will be alright with this when we court?”

“Of course. Will you?”

“Of course,” he repeats. “And will you be alright with your beau being more attractive than you?”

He has never teased you before, and you laugh at his overly serious demeanor as he says it. “Mr. Lee! Well, how could I be upset with having such a striking beau, especially one with charms like yours.”

He twirls you around again and pulls you a fraction closer. “I suppose this is as good as a time as any to ask: will you, Miss L/N, allow me to court you officially?”

You completely close the gap, earning several gasps from onlookers and Felix himself as your chest presses against his. With a wide grin on your face, you say, “Mr. Lee, I will.”

It is all anyone can talk about the following day: Miss Y/N L/N of a wealthy, upper class family is set to be courted by Mr. Felix Lee, the popular mechanical hatmaker. Through the shop window, Felix can see passersby trying to get a glimpse of him inside as he works. He has to close his store for the day because of the sheer amount of people visiting and treating him like an animal at an aquarium.

By the time the sun sets, less and less people pass by. By the time the gas lamps light up the street, your carriage drives up the street and stops in front of the store. You step out in a cornflower blue gown and knock on the door. Felix has been ready for you for hours now.

“Hello, Mr. Lee,” you greet. Your excitement is palpable as you say, “Shall we go on our first walk together?”

“Good evening, Miss L/N. And to you as well, Miss Wang.”

Your chaperone follows behind the two of you, ensuring that the two of you — well, mostly you — will be proper.

“Where shall we go? Around the block for tonight?” he suggests.

“My dear Mr. Lee, I will go anywhere you wish.”

Miss Wang halfheartedly reprimands you for the term of endearment, but Felix does not mind. You share a glance with him, and he already knows you will be calling him ‘dear’ until the end of time.

He could get used to that.

~ ad.gray

[my-writings-and-musings]

I was wondering if you could do something with ambulon, possibly fluff? Love the imagines btw

Thank you for giving me an excuse to love on my favorite underappreciated boy. Also, thank you, I love all the inspiration!

The chipping paint was a sore point for Ambulon, like so many other things about himself, but unlike all his other unfortunate traits it was made so much worse by the simple fact that it was impossible to hide. Having an embarrassing altmode, the true reason for his name, even his past as a Decepticon... he could cover all that up no problem. But the constantly chipping paint job? No shielding that from anyone close enough to simply see him...

It was made worse by how often bots tried to offer tips; use a primer, pay for a proper redo, try some new sealant... He knows they mean well, but none of them know what they're talking about, not really. If it was that easy, did they really think he wouldn't have fixed it by now? The Decepticon purple paint underneath was just as fragmented as the medic coded red and white on top, and that wasn't going to be fixed by anything simple.

The truth was "Flaky Paint Syndrome" could have many causes despite manifesting as a single, embarrassing result, and while most bots had poor application or easily irritated mesh to blame, his problem was rooted in something far less corporeal.

He was anxious. Every hour of every day, something had him on edge, and the constant strain on his nerves resulted in chips of paint cracking away from his always agitated frame. It was lucky really, most bots as unsettled as he was developed spark static or overheated and warped joints, his constant buzz of disquiet just made him look somewhat sloppy. Such a personality probably made his occupation seem like a bad choice, but he was content to endure the struggle for the satisfaction of saving lives, and now that he was on the relatively stable Lost Light he was managing better than he had in a long time. Thus, he hadn't had any plans on changing his status quo anytime soon.

Until you had showed up.

He hadn't even met a human before you'd joined the crew, but even if he had, he never could have expected that you'd get tangled up in his life the way you did. Something about you had just... connected with him. Maybe it was the fact that you didn't make fun of him, either for his altmode or his appearance, and also hadn't judged him for his past... Not even the reason for his silly name had made you laugh! He just liked spending time with you, even if it was to do nothing in particular.

As a result of these feelings, a desire to impress you had formed, and he'd actually made an effort to keep up with his looks for a change. Granted, that meant daily repaints completely unaided and in secret, all in his room where he twisted and turned in a ridiculous effort to look good for the person who probably only saw him as a friend. Logic didn't play much of a role in feelings, however.

Of course, it was just his luck you'd walked in on him at this most embarrassing time for the kind of friendly visit he ordinarily would have been thrilled about.

The cry of surprise that had escaped him when the doors whooshed open was impressively high pitched for a bot of his size, but you'd probably been more focused on the paint his startled jump had sent spattering in all directions, though none of it had flown far enough to hit you by some miracle.

"Ambulon, are you okay?!" You shouted in alarm, seeing the flash of red but not his paintbrush and immediately thinking of blood. Though you knew bots bled glowing pink, the instinct to offer aid at the first impulse was just too hard to ignore. Without hesitation, you hurried to get to his side, only growing more concerned as he hid his hand behind his back. Even if this wasn't how you'd wanted your visit to go you cared far too much about the medic to be concerned about such petty things. "What's wrong? Where are you hurt?"

"Who? Me? Hurt?" He rushes in ongoing panic, backing up against a desk to put as much space between you and him as possible. Despite looking ridiculous backing away from someone as small as you, all he can think to do is hide his paintbrush in an effort to save his dignity. At least, what's left of his dignity as he sputters through an excuse made up on the spot. "I'm just, uh... You know..."

Painting a landscape? Applying color to his hab suite? Decorating his medical supplies!?

"Are you painting something?" You asked, moving your small body to catch a glimpse of a bot sized paintbrush in the hand he hadn't done a good enough job of hiding. You figuring out the problem actually seemed to make him panic more, and he twisted again to hide the offending object behind his back, looking down at you as if you'd just stumbled upon him burying a body.

"Of course not!" He said in a rush, lie falling apart when the thick application of bright red he'd applied to his chest dripped downwards from the force of his rapid twisting around. Cringing, he avoided your eyes like a criminal. It would be bad enough if you simply knew about his troubles in any level of detail, but to have personally seen his juvenile and ridiculous efforts to cover up his humiliating condition... Would it be too much to ask that he dissapear at this very moment?

"Ambulon, are you okay?"

Nope, he's not, he won't be ever again but it's very nice that you thought to ask-

"Seriously, look at me."

You're firm but not at all angry as you issue the command, starting to put the pieces together in a way that makes some sense. The medic has had paint troubles more or less his entire life, as you've heard, but they had started to dissapear right about when you showed up. Though you hadn't pried, it had been logical to assume he'd been fixing himself up. Regardless of the accuracy of your guess, however, you know that this bot needs help. As much as you care for him, you simply can't let him suffer needlessly. No matter how often he switches between seeking you out and avoiding you...

"I'm... I'm fine, I promise." He mumbles, feeling like a pitiful failure for not even thinking to lock his door. There's so much to be embarrassed by he doesn't even know where to begin being mortified, but it's obvious the fallout will be a spiral into further humiliation, so he still wants to stall. You'll laugh when you hear he's been fixing himself up in a ridiculous attempt to impress you, because of course it's absurd, and he'll never be able to show his face again...

"Why are you embarrassed about some paint? I figured bots touched themselves up every now and then." You said innocently, baffled as to why he'd react in such a way. Rodimus bragged about redoing his colors all the time, so you'd figured there were no issues in doing so. Was there some other reason this could be considered embarrassing? The only possible explanation required you to go on a bit of a limb, but for his sake you decided to chance it, gulping once before you hesitantly spoke up. "Did you do this for me? Have you been redoing the colors since I got here?"

Ambulon flinched, and you realized you'd hit the nail on the head.

"I'm sorry-"

"For what?" You asked incredulously, head swimming with emotions clustering to be felt first. There was surprise, giddy delight, bashfulness, and even confoundment at the idea you could be in this situation. A part of you wanted to celebrate, but there was still far too much to sort through at the moment. His look of hopelessness exemplified the problem.

"For being ridiculous! Look at me! Pretending if I touch up some rough patches, it'll actually do anything? Ha!" He said, giving voice to the unpleasant uncertainty that lurked just below the surface. Drowning in his insecurity, he frowned hard, the absurdity of what he'd been trying to do all but slapping him in the face. Forget the species difference, you were a vibrant and charming individual who deserved far better than he. What had he even been trying to do? The answer came out of him as he sunk down to the ground and let the brush fall, hugging his knees as the weight of it all pulled him down. "I wanted so badly to look good for you, I lost track of common sense..."

"But Ambulon-"

Unable to hear you, he kept right on going, lost in his own little fog of shame. "You weren't supposed to know... Nobody was supposed to know... But I blew it-"

"Ambulon!"

You couldn't take it any more. The heartbreaking sight of the bot you thought was so delightful tearing himself apart was too much. Ignoring any common sense, you put yourself out for his sake, opening up your heart in the hope that your own vulnerabilities might help him feel better. A tender hand on his own preceded a gentle expression of reasurance as you looked into his optics.

"I'm flattered you want to look your best for me, really. But it's not necessary." You said, suddenly aware that your heart was hammering as you prepared to confess. It was probably about time you cut to the chase, after spending these months bobbing along in uncertainty, but that didn't make it any less scary to be so open. Hopefully it would all end well... "I think you look fine just how you are."

Ambulon felt his processor go blank, and all that he could do was fall back on his usual attitude with a surprised retort. "But I'm a mess!"

You laughed, but not in the way he'd feared. It was a good natured, loving, laughing with him and not at him kind of sound. "I don't care about some paint chips now and then, you goof. Why do you think I'm here?" All of a sudden your fear seemed to be turning into confidence, the anxieties you'd created for yourself melting away as the truth came out. Seeing a towering alien laid low by your simple feelings definitely made it much easier to express them. "I wanted to see you, purple and red and all, because I like you."

Something clicked inside of him upon hearing those words. So much shame and fear dissolved in what felt like an instant, his optics pushing up with his cheeks as he smiled the biggest and happiest smile he could, optics brightening the whole while. It was what he'd wanted more than anything but feared he'd never receive. Unfurling his legs, he leaned down just a tad to get closer. Heedless to everything about himself that had bothered him so much, he spoke softly in return.

"I really like you too."

"I know." You replied softly, looking to the brush that had fallen to the floor and the paint still drying on his frame as an idea hatched in your head. The two of you had a lot to talk about, it seemed, and you had the perfect way to pass the time while doing so. "Now, how about I help you finish up? Don't want all this to go to waste."

Realizing what you were suggesting, he picked up a much smaller paintbrush and handed it to you, still smiling as he helped you onto his desk where the paints laid out for use.

"I'd like that."

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @screechingbangtansonyeondanrmpie

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. saturn has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around achieving your goals and dreaming in big. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your relationship with friends and lovers.

your dominant planets are venus, the sun and saturn. you are very creative, you probably come up with innovative ideas easily as you're able to understand others' emotions. you're also extremely smart and intelligent, you are strongly motivated to pursue your goals, even though you could sometimes be a bit bossy.

your dominant sign is libra. you're overall a peaceful person, you try to avoid conflicts if possible, even though sometimes you could have a sharp tongue. you're a romantic person, maybe too much. you hold unrealistic expectations of people, hence you often get disappointed when things don't turn out the way you thought. you're able to see both sides of an argument, and that's both good and bad. in fact, you're very objective, and most probably your opinions are right; yet, it may be annoying for people that are venting to you, as you could constantly point out their mistakes, even though you don't do it out of malice.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in libra, 16° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

you're naturally likeable, you have a particular charm to you that makes everyone drool over you. you're very nice and outgoing, you always try to make others feel at ease. you're very considerate of others' feelings. you strive for fairness and justice, it's the way you approach others and the world. basically, you treat others like they treat you: if they're kind with you, you'll be very sweet. otherwise, you'll turn very sarcastic and harsh, almost cold at a certain point. you're very opinionated, you always feel the need to express your thoughts as you're very proud of them. in addition, since you always decide whether something is right or not, you may come off as a know-it-all. on the other hand, you're very sociable and you enjoy being in company, doesn't matter whether you're with your family, friends, lover etc. you may get to know many people throughout your life, but your friendships may not be much stable. you are surrounded by people, but you could feel lonely particularly often. I also need to point out that libra is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body is also very feminine, with a lot of curves and softness to it. it's very romantic, to sum up. also, your hair is probably naturally beautiful; it could be curly, or at least it's very thick and healthy-looking, even if you don't take much care of it.

libra ascendant conjunct libra sun: you're a genuine person, and you show yourself for who you are. you don't wear a mask, and you want the same authenticity from others as well. you leave a positive first impression on others, as you're very friendly and kind. you have this particular charisma to you, that makes you look both bubbly and mysterious. you have a bright personality, you're always kind to others. yet, there's something in your eyes that projects all of your fears and inner emotions. it's very magnetic, but some people may take advantage of that. think twice before opening up to someone, as not everyone is as honest as you are. this placement may give one a big ego, but combined with insecure 12th house placements, I think it's a great combo. you're confident, but not bossy. or maybe, you have contrasting feelings; one day you could lead a riot, the other day you just want to hide under your sheets.

libra ascendant conjunct libra mercury: you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, even though this energy may not be much prominent; it may be perceived differently due to your libra energy, in fact. that’s because libra prefers organizing things, rather than acting impulsively. yet, this placement still helps you being adaptable to changes, even though you may only be able to see it after a few years if you manage to balance it well. you may also be able to match the energy of the people you’re talking to in order to be perceived as more likeable and connect with everyone on a deeper level. you may be fond of books, poetry, literature… both writing and reading. it’s also a way to let yourself tune to your emotions. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak. appearance-wise, I assume you’re at least of average height, with long limbs and fingers. you have something small about your face; you may either have a small nose, or eyes, lips etc. same thing goes for your bones. you may be naturally skinny, or perhaps you have healthy curves. you also tend to look younger than you actually are, especially when growing up.

libra ascendant conjunct libra mars: your approach to the world is spontaneous, you don't like thinking before acting. you don't really do this with malice, though; you're just very honest. even though you appear really confident to others, you may find yourself feeling a little insecure. that comes from the fact that you're a perfectionist, even though you want to be perfect to show it to others rather than for yourself. hence, you feel pressured. even though you may appear as rude, once you get to know someone you truly care about you're willing to control yourself, just for them. that's how far you'd go for someone you love. physically, individuals with mars conjunct the ascendanr are usually very fast, active and athletic in general. you may walk fast, and you have quick reflexes. they are also fit; even if they're overweight, their body will still look good, with a nice and toned structure. you may have strong, almost masculine features: thin lips, thick eyebrows and lashes, broad shoulders, sharp nose...

🌞 sun in libra, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

this is the most romantic and kind-hearted libra decan. you are very intuitive, you understand others’ real feelings very easily. you’re very polite and mannered, you have this innate elegance about you that could make people jealous. you may even come off as snob. even though your libra stellium may make you look flaky, once people get to know you you’re actually very reliable and trust-worthy, as you are a person of strong morals. you may unconsciously manipulate people, but you don’t do it with malice. in fact, you’re probably not even aware of it most of the times. you’re reserved, and you don’t like being the centre of attention, despite craving compliments. nonetheless, you still like getting to know new people; you’re the type to know everyone, but you may struggle to find actual best friends, as your bonds with people are quite undeveloped and superficial. you have a nice sense of humor, and you may rely on sarcasm a lot. you’re also the type that doesn’t like to accept her mistakes. probably, when you were a child you used to scream 'it’s not my fault!’ in every occasion. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant.

libra sun conjunct libra mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy libra dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even romance. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

libra sun conjunct libra mars: with this placement, you may be way more straight-forward than the typical libra. you are very impulsive and honest above all, you say things as they are. you don't get hurt easily, you're able to be very brave when you want to, and even if you do get emotionally hurt, you know how to stand up for yourself again. you strive to achieve your goals and make your dreams come true, you're an hard-worker. some may call you impatient, and you may actually be, but in reality you just can't wait for things to happen. for example, let's suppose you're going to the mall to buy the playstation you always wanted. you'd start only thinking and talking about that playstation until you actually get it in your hands. you get easily excited. also, this is another placement that indicates that is hard not to notice you. you have a very strong charisma that makes others stare. you strive to be the number #1 at whatever you do, you're a serious competitor and you'd do anything to win and achieve your goals.

🌙 moon in libra, 5° / 1st deca ruled by venus

the most romantic and affectionate libra decan. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant. ironically, you struggle to keep the same balance in yourself, though. you may appear a bit emotionally cold, as you don’t feel comfortable showing your true self due to your secrecy. you come off as kind of analytical, but you’re actually very romantic. you wish the world was just filled with love and peace, and you that you didn’t have to worry about malice or anything of that type. you hate vulgarity, and you try to be as kind as possible with your words, even though you may be too straight-forward and fail at that. even if you’re an introvert, you may know a lot of people. yet, you have troubles actually creating close bonds with others. you basically have more acquaintances than friends. you’re a nice mediator, you know how to get along with others and make others get along.

libra moon conjunct libra mars: you aim for greatness. this is where your strong desire to be the #1 comes from, pretty much. you're very proud of yourself, and you don't like to acknowledge your mistakes. you always want to look like you have your life together, even in certain moments when you feel lost. I would say that this is a sort of self-sabotaging mechanism, as you can literally go as far as forcing a smile if it shows the world that you can stand by yourself. overall, I would say you deal with your emotions in a very 'child-like' way. you tend to preserve yourself more, unless someone really special to you is involved. in fact, moon conjunct mars makes you really protective of your loved and trusted ones, even though they're not many because of your high standards. you're also very honest, you speak from your heart. while it's a positive trait, you may be too blunt and ruin your relationships because of that. you're both smart and fast, hence you may get annoyed when people mishear or misunderstand your words

libra moon conjunct libra jupiter: you're an outgoing and warm person, who always tries to make others feel at ease. I assume you try to be nice to everyone, but you can't help but be a little awkward around people you don't know. you go with the flow and don't shy away from challenges. they're moments to prove your potential and abilities. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, misogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. when you get angry, you can actually get very rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re friendly, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. you're quite optimistic, as you see good in everyone. yet, while this is a good trait that allows you to be more at ease in relationships, you may also be fooled easily due to your blind optimism.

🗣 mercury in libra, 25° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

you're very diplomatic! you always try to be nice and gentle with your words, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. your tone of voice is extremely soft, sometimes it could even be hard to understand what you say, as you could naturally have a low voice. you're extremely balanced, you have amazing problem-solving skills as you're able to see both side of an argument. it's natural for you to understand what's right and what isn't, and most of the times you're actually right. when you're with someone you're not really close to, you could even be the accommodating type who allows others to speak over your voice, or maybe you let others speak first as a gesture of kindness. I feel like with your libra dominance you have very strong opinions, and you're actually particularly proud of them. luckily, this placement makes you able to communicate them with diplomacy. you could often get angry if someone tries to prove you wrong, but aside from that, you try to be very elegant and formal when you speak. you're probably not fond of cursing, or at least you try to appear as mannered as possible with people you're not comfortable around. last but not least, you're such a charismatic, smooth talker that you result very persuasive. you're able to trick people with your words, which appear very diplomatic and calm.

libra mercury square cancer saturn: this placement gives you limitations and lessons regarding the way you think and talk. it may be that you’re too shy to approach others and to say what you think, so you just don’t try. otherwise, if you actually take action and try to overcome this problem, you could get into troubles. that’s probably caused by the fact that you don’t really pay attention to your words. you’re quite straight-forward, and due to your mars energy you always seem as if you’re up for a fight. you may be particularly pessimistic, or maybe you lack confidence in social interactions due to these problems, which could be possibly caused by your parents, or perhaps interfer in your relationship with your family. in fact, you may argue quite often with others, and misunderstandings are also common. this is something that gets naturally better with time, but in order for it to happen you need to take action. you may for example start speaking with others more at school, anything that allows you to challenge your mind and voice, in order to make you gain experiences and become a master at it. many celebrities, once they mastered this hard aspect, got loads of success. you can do that too, you just need to work on it.

❤️ venus in virgo, 10° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and saturn

in your group of friends you’re most probably the late bloomer. in fact, it probably took you a while to experience romance. that’s because love isn’t your priority, even though you crave emotional affection and security. you’re not the type to fall for someone at first sight, you’re only into people that are willing to commit to you. you seek a partner that is hard-working and takes care of themselves, both physically and mentally but, at the same time, that would only look at you. it could take you some time to feel totally comfortable around your partner, but once you trust them, you’ll stay with them for a while. it’s hard for you to show your love with words, hence you do it with little gestures. you probably remember things like their birthday, their favorite food etc., and you wouldn’t mind receiving the same kind of affection back. when it comes to love, you’re not a risk-taker; you probably prefer being courted rather than court others, and if you do it, you make sure that the other person likes you back. you enjoy helping others, you’re the type of friend or lover that wouldn’t hesitate to do favors. yet, you want to be appreciated, otherwise you may just feel used. you may be quite hard to satisfy, but you’re surely very loyal.

☄️mars in libra, 10° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

there’s this stereotype that libra mars people are passive-aggressive. it may be true, but only partially. in fact, you try to avoid conflicts exclusively when you’re in public, or maybe with someone you don’t know well. in that case, you can eventually try to avoid the problem. with people you’re close to, you’re pretty much the opposite. you may say the worst of things that you probably don’t even feel, you may even have the istinct to throw hands. you’re driven by a strong sense of justice, and you probably were the class’ snitch during daycare/primary school. you also strive for equality, hence you may get very defensive when it comes to proving your innocence, or just really anyone’s. overall, you’re a fair person with strong morals, who acts based on the situation you’re in.

libra mars conjunct libra jupiter: you are driven by a strong sense of justice that makes you want to discover the truth. you hate lies of any kind, you want sincerity from those around you and you're the first to be constantly honest. you value your freedom a lot, your life motto is most likely 'live and let live'. you think everyone should live their lives by their own standards, without feeling afraid of being judged or criticized. you're a very pure and genuine person, you hardly ever judge a book by its cover, and you're also extremely open-minded. you're thirsty for knowledge of any kind, you're always up to learn something new. you may also be interested in foreign languages and cultures, as well as philosophy, literature... anything that can teach you something new about the world. you may be quite impulsive, and when you get angry you tend to be very blunt. you may say things that hurt others, as you're brutally honest, even though that wasn't your intention. you may also appear as flaky, since you don't like feeling tied to something or someone. you could often change your favourite colour, food, singer... you despise boredom, and your need for freshness may also manifest in your relationships.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in libra. you have a peaceful approach to the world; you most likely don’t like conflicts, you prefer avoiding them, even though you may have some troubles with that due to your impulsive and fiery mars energy. you probably care a lot about your appearance, and because of that you could get insecure from time to time. usually, people with libra in their 1st house look for themselves in others, as their chart is basically upside down. you struggle to be independent, and people could try to take advantage of you for your kindness. the sun and mercury are also placed in this house: your ego feels fulfilled when you express your opinions, ideas and creativity. people probably see you as an intelligent, wise individual. maybe even as a know-it-all. you care about both your inner and outer self, which may be the cause of your confidence issues. you try to fit into society, and you tend to change your approach to people based on who you’re interacting with. while this gives you great social skills, it may confuse you quite a bit. in fact, you may forget who you are. you may often have identity crisis, especially since you always feel as if you have to fit somewhere.

your 2nd house is in scorpio. this placement can make you seem a bit selfish. in fact, you’re extremely possessive of your possessions, you don’t want to share them with others. there’s a lot of karma around your finances. in fact, if you’re too stingy, it may bite your butt. you need to give in order to receive, so I’d suggest you to share your things more with others. you could share a meal with a friend, for example. you’ll surely get something positive back from it. your finances may not be stable either; they are in constant change, and while this placement can make you earn quite a great amount of money, it can also make you lose everything you have. no inbetweens. the 2nd house is also about self-esteem, your relationship with your appearance. you have contrasting feelings about it; some days, you’re very confident. other days, you hate yourself. you may find flaws in every single picture you take or every pants you try on. it’s a very intense placement, as you may often feel as if you need to change your appearance in order to love yourself. based on other placements in your chart, it could manifest in spending money in a new wardrobe for example, as you feel like changing your style would help you boost your self-confidence.

your 3rd house is in sagittarius, with also your pluto placed there. this is an amazing placement for a writer! you’re extremely open-minded and philosophical. you’d probably do great at poetry or just literature in general. you’re thirsty for knowledge, you aspire to learn everything you can, you enjoy being smart and educated. you most likely love comedy, and you have an amazing sense of humor yourself, you’re able to light up the room and make everyone burst into laughter even if you don’t mean to. you’re also very intelligent, you’re able to memorize things fast and you’re also a fast-learner. you may be less into gossips than other libras, as you’re very benevolent and considerate of others’ feelings. in addition, you’re able to see the good in everyone, there’s no reason for you to talk behind someone’s back. actually, it’s the opposite. you’re quite impulsive, you say things as they are. you probably love witty jokes and sarcasm. you’re extremely honest when you think and speak, and most of the times you have no problems expressing your opinions. you could possibly be very good with words and be good at convincing and manipulating others. your mind is very deep, you’re probably not really into small talks. you may also love anything that is considered taboo, like astrology, horror, nudity, death… you’re also quite secretive, you’re seen as an enigma. you don’t want to share much about you. last but not least, you value honesty above all. you only speak the truth, and hence you also want it back. you may as well be into conspiracy theories, science and anything that can expose what’s behind the universe, the government etc.

your 4th house is in capricorn, with also neptune placed there. I can tell that your childhood was quite complex. not necessarily bad, I don't see any kind of trauma, but you probably had to grow up way sooner than other kids. your parents could have been very hard-working and focused on their jobs, possibly wealthy too. they were very responsible and cared a lot about you, they always made sure you had everything you needed, even though they could have been slightly absent from time to time due to their jobs. people with a capricorn ic usually find something missing in their childhood, they had to deal with responsibilities from a young age. it could even be that you started working when you were still a teen, or maybe you had to take care of the house or of your siblings for them. you weren’t much extroverted, you preferred staying in, drawing, playing games etc. it could also be that one of your parents may be absent; they could be divorced, or in the worst case they might have died when you were pretty young.

your 5th house is in aquarius, with also uranus sitting there. you’re extremely creative, your ideas are very innovative, and you may have particular hobbies, interests or taste than others. when you’re able to fully express yourself, you gain full security and you start experimenting and inventing new things. you could be the type to start new fashion trends, music styles, art styles… basically, you’re a creative genius. your hobbies may also involve astrology, as well as human studies like psychology, or also anything that has to do with technology. you may be into videogames for example, tv series, social media… they’re your way to spend your free-time and relax. your relationships may also be very unconventional; you could usually date people online, or perhaps you may have the potential to meet someone through dating apps. they’re quite unstable, they may end out of the blue for example. yet, venus here makes it better; in fact, you’ll be able to achieve the best of your luck through creative outlets. again, if I were in you I’d definitely try writing something! you may also dedicate yourself to fashion, art, music, etc., anything that stimulates your creativity.

your 6th house is in pisces. in your daily life, you hardly ever have a structured schedule. you go with the flow, you take things as they come. you may often have your head in the clouds, you could get distracted easily and you may literally creative oscar-worthy movies in your head instead of doing what you need to do. your job may involve arts, images, possibly even fame. you should definitely use your creative talents for your possible career. also, you could benefit from helping others; you could be a psychologist or therapist of any kind, a nurse… any place where you’re able to help others. again, you could also help others through your art, hence with your lyrics, books, etc. when it comes to diets, workout routines, skincare routines etc. you could lack consistency, even though your libra energy makes you more motivated to take care of your appearance. you may sleep a lot, it’s easy for you to feel tired and stressed even when you’re not over-working yourself.

your 7th house is in aries. love is most likely not your priority in life, even though you're very romantic. you need independence, and you’re able to stand up for yourself on your own. you don’t need someone else to help you. for you, love is a want, not a need. you tend to attract partners in your life that are hot-headed, stubborn, assertive and goal-oriented. they strive to be the best at everything they do, they��re extremely competitive and willing to do anything to achieve their goals. basically, you attract very dominant partners, but you don’t want to be dominated or controlled. you may often experience power struggles between you and your partner, which cause you issues in every relationship you get in. at the same time, you wouldn’t stand someone too submissive either, as you still need someone that would mentally stimulate you. they may actually be quite selfish and self-centered, they’ll care more about their own development rather than that of you two as a couple. an aries 7th house indicates that while you’ll have a very active, passionate spouse, you may also experience lots of arguments and discussions in your marriage life, perhaps even physical violence in the worst case, even though your mars isn't harshly aspected so don't worry about it.

your 8th house is in taurus. you have the most stable, stubborn sign in a house that requires constant change. you probably hate changing your routine and stepping out of your comfort zone. changes are hard for you to accept; you find it hard to change job all of a sudden for example, or even letting go of a toxic friend of yours can be stressful for you. also, you could be quite materialistic and fond of material possessions, causing you to be a bit too stingy, which isn’t good for your karma. another reason that this house contrasts with your 2nd house in scorpio is that you feel like you constantly need to change, but ironically slow taurus makes your changes way slower than usual. sometimes, when they happen, they’re so subtle that you probably can’t even see them or at least notice them at first. this placement may also indicate that you could get an inheritance, especially since your venus isn’t harshly aspected, and you’ll most likely have a peaceful death.

your 9th house is in gemini. gemini in the 9th house cusp usually makes people a bit close-minded, as they are very logical and careful in their approach to the world. you may change your ideas and opinions quite quickly, to the point that you could seem unconsistent. when learning new things, you like exploring different matters and subject, from maths to literature, but you may struggle to focus on only one. as a result, you may lack precision. you're probably a fast-learner and you're very witty and curious, you like learning about anything you can. you probably like studying, not necessarily at school but studying in general, and you may also be skilled at foreign languages. you could also be interested in foreign matters, such as cultures, music, etc.

your 10th house is in cancer, with also your cancer saturn conjunct the midheaven. your career needs to be private. that doesn’t mean that you can’t become famous of course, but you prefer being more hidden at job, you may even work from home or from a young age. many celebrities with this placement, in fact, started working when they were still young. also, cancer indicates that your future job will give you the opportunity to express and / or deal with your / others’ feelings and emotions. you could become a writer, a singer, an actress, as well as a nurse, a therapist… anything that allows you to express your emotions while also communicating something is suitable for you. you could possibly also choose the same career as your parents, or you may handle the family’s business for example. you could also end up doing the job of your childhood dreams. you feel the need to pursue a meaningful career in your life, you want to feel emotionally connected to it. you don’t only want something that allows you to earn money, you also want to gain wisdom and maturity from a job, and hence you could even be a bit picky in choosing your future career. you also have saturn in this house: you may have to work hard to become financially stable and have a good reputation, perhaps you could be underestimated and / or discriminated throughout your first years of work, but after your 30s you're going to become a very respectable figure. you could become some sort of authority, like a boss, ceo, a president... this placement also indicates that you'd make a great teacher or professor.

your 11th house is in leo. with this placement, you’re probably very popular among your friends, you’re most likely the most talkative or funniest member of your group. you may also attract very popular people yourself in your friendships, perhaps even celebrities. possibly, you could even make friends that allow you to gain recognition and / or popularity, doesn’t matter whether it’s in school, job, etc. you could also have very big dreams for your future, probably regarding your career and finances. you most likely aspire to be wealthy and financially independent, you are very hard-working and possibly even a bit materialistic. you attract a lot of people in your life. whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you’ll always be able to have someone by your side, even though you may struggle to create stable bonds. friends come and go, basically. you may attract very fierce, almost violent friends. they’re very energetic, and probably extroverted people who like socializing and enjoying life to the fullest. you're also very hard-working, and you aspire to achieve all of your dreams. your virgo venus is also in this house: you most likely feel the need to befriend someone before getting into a relationship with them, perhaps you may often crush on your friends or maybe you are going to marry someone from your group of friends. you could also meet your lovers online, for example through a dating app.

your 12th house is in virgo, with also jupiter, the moon and mars placed there. this is another placement that indicates that you are an amazing writer! in fact, the 12th house is about secret skills too, and virgo is ruled by mercury, the planet of communication. you do the math. with this placement, though, I feel like you may feel restricted from pursuing your goals, or even a career in the public eye, as you’re quite sensitive to others’ criticism about you. you strive to be perfect all the time, and your libra rising wants to constantly have a nice reputation. a scandal, or even simple haters, would probably be the end of you. you also have venus placed here, meaning that deep down, you actually crave affection from someone else. yet, you may be afraid, or perhaps too shy to approach a possible partner. but remember, the 12th house is also the house of secret talents! in fact, especially with your libra rising, you’re extremely likeable. you shouldn’t be afraid of not being liked back, for example. remember that your love life will get better with time, as you become more mature in that field. with jupiter and the moon here, you are probably extremely spiritual. you may dream a lot, and these dreams could hold messages to them that you need to interpret. you could even predict the future. you're also very private about your feelings, you don't like exposing yourself too much, and combined with your 12th house mars you could end up being a little passive. you may be indecisive and insecure, therefore you could miss some important opportunities in your life.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aries, aquarius, capricorn and / or virgo traits or placements. your future spouse will most likely have capricorn and aquarius traits or placements, maybe a capricorn-aquarius cusp; they’ll be very smart, creative, bold and confident, but also with a hidden insecurity to them. it could be love at first sight, and they are most likely one of your soulmates or even your twinflame. you may dream of each other often, for example, and you may have a spiritual connection. your children will most likely have aquarius, cancer or capricorn placements in their chart: they'll be very intelligent and creative, but they'll also be quite attached to their parents.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for herself when she has to, but she may struggle to do that. she’s very smart, caring and empathetic, even though she may be a bit childish or strict at times. she could have cancer placements in her chart, possibly capricorn, libra and pisces too. your father, on the other hand, is a bit more serious and focused on work, but he always made sure you always had what you needed. he was probably the strict parent in the family, but he still has some sweetness and nice humor to him. also, he may have capricorn, aquarius, pisces or cancer placements in his chart. if you have siblings, they most likely have sagittarius, scorpio and / or pisces placements in their chart. they could be foreign or skilled at foreign languages, and you may feel very at ease with them. you have an amazing bond with them, you’re able to both relax and have fun together, even though you may discuss often. you could have been very jealous of each other when you were kids, maybe.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, you're going to pursue a career that will allow you to interact with others. you would probably do amazing at a job that requires you to help people, you could make a great nurse, therapist or psychologist for instance, you're going to be a very nurturing figure for others. you may also work as a teacher of any kind, not necessarily a professor or school teacher. I definitely see you being successful in whatever you choose, you could become very independent and financially stable thanks to your job. possibly, you may also have a business with your future spouse or family. you could also work with children or for family, as a counselor for example. anything that allows you to interact with and help others would be great for you, as it would make you more empathetic and sensitive to the external world.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

I imagine you put a lot of effort into your outifts, yet you don’t show it. you want to look effortlessly good, you don’t want to give the impression that you tried. your style may be quite minimalistic and simple, with lots of jeans, sweatshirts, plain t-shirts… I see you being more into natural shades, like white, grey, beige etc. you’re also not very fond of using too many accessories, you’re stylish but still very simple. you have this natural charm to you, hence you still look good even though your outfits may not be too complex. you could as well be fond of high quality, possibly designer clothes.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, the focus was on yourself. maybe, you had troubles with self-esteem and identity in general. you had to work hard and finally understand who you were to fulfill your past life purpose. hence, this lifetime your focus will be on the bonds you create with others. even though at first you might feel almost scared to the idea of marriage, especially having mars in the 7th house, this lifetime you're here to develop this matter. after all, you may despise love for your troubled past. with your north node in the 7th house, you're naturally lucky in love. there's nothing to be afraid of, you only need to take small steps and open your heart to someone, putting your worries and insecurities aside.

🤔 major transits analysis / june 15th

jupiter is currently transiting your 5th house, making a conjunction with your natal uranus. you may experience random luck in these days, for instance you may find money on the ground while working or you could casually meet a new friend or partner. with transit mars in the 10th house being conjunct your natal mars, you could be more impulsive than usual and you may end up arguing with others, most likely with your parents, so be careful with that. on the other hand, you feel very motivated lately, you are more hardworking than usual, it's the perfect time to start a diet or a routine of any kind, as you're most likely to get it done.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. you just have to believe in your power!

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

[hamaon]

JGY or WWX?

I feel like a fair disclaimer to give before getting to Wei Wuxian is that I watched the Untamed despite, not because of, wangxian! I originally checked out the beginning of the animated series because someone I followed was getting into it, but I already had an inkling that the main romantic relationship in this romance wouldn’t be my cup of tea. The Untamed followed, more than half a year later, really only because I had hit the gorgeous soundtrack on youtube.

How I feel about this character Part of the reason I presumed I wouldn’t be into wangxian was because neither of the main players really spoke to me, and on this account I am happy to have been proven wrong! When I finished the show, Wei Wuxian was probably my favorite character. There's something very satisfying about a surface-level heroic main character hitting his absolute lowest points and starting to be actively harmful to himself and others. “This is all I’ve ever wanted for the class clown type of character”, I think I said at some point. Let it all burn.

I go back and forth on whether I find the flightier parts of his personality charming or annoying, but it’s a spectrum. The Untamed version is my favorite, character-wise.

All the people I ship romantically with this character Nie Huaisang, in the sense that, what with their roles in the plot, it would be fascinating to see how things would play out if this was the main romance, instead. Especially because romance would not be Nie Huaisang’s priority. What would the relationship trajectory even be, teenage sweethearts, ending with a definitive breakup by the finale? I've never sat down with the idea long enough to do anything with it, but sometimes it comes back to me. The main reason I'm into it is because hey, it's the main character & the main driving force behind the story! this is an intellectual puzzle to work out!, but they also had nice, easy chemistry when they were young and seemed to enjoy each other's company, which was something that was... not present in the actual main ship as far as I could see, and apparently my only kink is obvious mutual interest and stability in a relationship. I don't think they really had romantic/sexual chemistry in particular, but hey.

Wen Ning. I just think ningxian is cute. Also has lots of potential for difficult and uncomfortable exploration re: consent and autonomy.

But I think at the end of the day, the only relationship he has that just by the actual shape of it would be something I'd be interested in seeing turn into a romantic and/or sexual relationship is with Wen Qing, which, uh. Yeah. The fond push-and-pull, the two leaders, it’s good stuff. Just a physical relationship during their hunkering together time would be fun, too.

My non-romantic OTP for this character Jiang Cheng. I remember originally being pretty peeved about the fact that the romance (censored or not) is treated as the main focus when the Yunmeng duo is, to me, the real heart of the story. Let Lan Wangji be a supporting character.

I'm not sure if I really want a reconciliation between them, personally, but I want to note that it’s not because I think it would be fundamentally impossible, or because one or both of the characters is genuinely better off without the other. I think it would be very good for them if they managed some sort of genuine healing together!

I don’t want a reconciliation because thinking about their complete and total failure to communicate and consequently never making up makes me experience genuine agony in a very satisfying way. I have in the past gone into people's tags for the two of them and managed to work myself into a sobbing mess within five minutes. It is extremely cathartic.

My unpopular opinion about this character That time when he walks into a Jin party and starts throwing threats 3-2-1, part of me is going “fuck yeah” and part of me is looking at all the collateral damage servants trying to stay out of the way in the background, who never asked to be terrorized by this very powerful man. It’s not something that makes me dislike the character in any way or form, as stated before if anything it just makes him more interesting to me, I just don’t think that it was an uncomplicatedly ‘cool’ moment.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon The man should be actually responsible for his own misdeeds. I’ve heard people say that this was a censorship thing, but I have no sources on that.

And A-Yao gets to go under a read more.

How I feel about this character Continuing down the nostalgia lane, my initial reactions were “this man smiles very deliberately” and, towards the end, “man, fuck the gentry, you should get to win”.

I, hm. It feels sometimes like there are two kinds of opinions that fans have, and I don’t connect with either of them! There’s the “this character is an unrepentant asshole and I’m proud of that, you don’t need to make up sympathetic motivations for villains” which, while I agree that he can justify a lot to himself, just doesn’t ring true to me. I think that many of his actions were either forced by the circumstances, or understandable, or sympathetic and made with decent intentions, or not particularly bad compared to shit that other characters and their society as a whole gets to.

Obviously there are all these breakdowns about the specific acts of altruism that he does that in-universe are rare from someone that high up in power, and those are great, but even without all of that, he was a stable, peaceful, competent ruler who wasn’t doing any large-scale nasty shit after a series of complete nightmares on the throne, and upsetting that long-standing balance should bring about repercussions for several social classes that does more harm than anything he was individually doing at any point.

As for the other take, there’s the “oh no he’s so small and so cute and should be pampered so much” which I don’t... get, emotionally, and additionally it is reaaal hard for me to see the character as someone who either wants or would even particularly enjoy being the one being taken care of. Usually my response is-

There’s that part during Nie Mingjue’s capture in Empathy where he’s just, running the whole show? Like, on one hand it is very important that he’s probably the weakest person in the room, and might lose in a direct confrontation against even the random soldiers standing to the sides, and if he plays his cards wrong or even sub-optimally one of the two big strong cultivators in his vicinity is going to pulverize him, and also aware of all of this at all times and living in low-key terror. But also -- he pulled it off.

If I’m working myself toward some emotional response with “A-Yao small” it doesn’t end with “someone should hold him 🥺” but with “and doesn’t that just make it all the sweeter that he sat on that throne”. (I have two kinks, and the other one is power reversal.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character Only Lan Xichen, really, but there are some tentative side paths to take!

Qin Su, in that the initial attraction would be fun to explore, and then it becomes less about the relationship dynamic and more about the underlying horror.

Nie Huaisang, in a not-particularly-serious, one-sided, never-happened-and-now-it-never-will kind of way. The ideal would be Jin Guangyao thinking of Nie Huaisang as a tiring but cute little brother figure (he doesn't have those, all of his family relationships sans mom take a weird turn at some point! this one sure is about to!), while Nie Huaisang has a lil crush, and then it goes all the way to hell. ...And I know that I set “won’t happen” as a precondition, but I guess if there was a character who keeps the (fierce or not) corpse of the late Chief Cultivator close in an effort to feel alive post-canon, Nie Huaisang is the one I’d want for that role.

Jiang Cheng, because that family unit is so under-explored in canon, and because out of a handful of favorite characters these two are usually my number one, so watching them interact with each other can be fun just because of that. But in my heart of hearts I want Jiang Cheng to stay forever single by choice, and really I'm just here for platonic family shenanigans with Jin Ling. (I've written some of this, but out of everything it's probably the least likely to ever see the light of day.)

But really only Lan Xichen. When I was watching the early episodes and didn't remember the characters well and in my head these two were only “the disturbingly handsome older brother” and “a bit part soldier (lol) from some other sect” I really imprinted on that goodbye scene, like damn, look at these characters who are friendly with each other and showing obvious interest. It's only the circumstances that are getting in the way! If I were to ever read fic from this show, it would be these two. (This was all a counter-reaction to early wangxian haha.) But increasingly it goes to show that what I'm really into is people having mutual and mutually recognized affection for each other, the negotiated part in the relationship being less about whether it'll happen and more about how to go about it. More romances that start with getting together instead of ending there.

I am laughing at my past self here though, after actually finishing the show my thoughts on xiyao were that it was nice that it was both there and stable (until, you know) and unknowable, whatever the shape of their relationship in private they are aware of it and have made their peace with it, and that's all I need to know, and now I'm sitting here with several WIPs, wondering if this is what finally pushes me to start publishing fanfiction.

My non-romantic OTP for this character Lan Xichen. No, I’m not interested in a non-romantic* read on their relationship, yes, I just want him here, too.

Also, the only other relationships of note here are with Meng Shi, Jin Ling and Qin Su, and using ‘non-romantic OTP’ for any of those feels off to me. Meng Shi and Jin Ling are at too much of an uneven level, Qin Su doesn’t reach OTP levels even if the romantic filter is off. Su Minshan and Xue Yang might be a better fit, but again, OTP level is too high. Early-canon Nie Huaisang... maybe.

*non-sexual is fine. never officially getting together w/mutual acknowledgement is fine.

My unpopular opinion about this character I think I already went off, so. The hat is fine, and the hate sounds performative and weirdly ignorant at times. I don't love the Untamed version, but it’s fine and the ones in other adaptations are fantastic, even. The warm yellow-brown combination looks really nice. More of the characters should wear hats, actually! Which I realize is an opinion influenced by historical Japanese and Korean dramas, which are of a different genre altogether (also not Chinese, but hats in official settings are a constant in all of these cultures). Nevertheless.

I wish it was used only post-timeskip in the Untamed, too, though, for more variety in costuming and to further differentiate the pre- and post-timeskip versions of the character.

...................................and a specific xiyao pet peeve also: I am becoming increasingly wary of the... either super common or I just happen to keep finding these, take where he’s some sort of unwilling/particularly hesitant participant in this relationship. Like I went back to watch parts of episode 4 (to figure out why it was that I was so sure Meng Yao would be swinging a sword around in future episodes and my conclusion is: because everyone else was swinging theirs) and even the initial interactions in the goodbye scene are like-

Meng Yao literally runs up to a guy waaay out of his league like “Hello I am bringing myself Forth because I have the audacity to assume you might Personally Want to Know that I am leaving and here are some pretty personal reasons why (gosh you really are lovely)”

Reactions I’ve seen to this: look at the little dude running away from his emotions

Me: w h a t

And then the natural conclusion here is that Lan Xichen is there to love him (with his dick and/or sunny personality) until he’s forced to accept it [serene face emoji] and it makes me. Not enjoy it much.

Ofc this doesn’t include normal human hesitations one might have about... anything and everything in life, really, but when it’s treated like this automatic character/relationship hurdle I’m just hhhh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon I'm pretty satisfied with things as they stand? Just like the relationship between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian makes me feel cathartic agony, Jin Guangyao's fate makes me feel cathartic rage. Look at the low-born bastard child go down the stairs of life, one last time!

......Sometimes I have my weak moments and do wish he had gotten away in the end, though.

[aleatoryalarmalligator]

What My Thoughts On Morrissey Today

In response to my writing idea someone gave me I picked this.

So basically, Morrissey’s nationalism in recent years has gotten in the way of me being able to appreciate much that he comes out with. This is wild because a few short years ago, I stood up for Morrissey and actually still feel very moved by a portion of his music. It got me through some really rough patches in my twenties.

I realize he’s human and has faults and I don’t know him completely but just eh, living in Portland and having seen the stuff going on I’m kind of not in the place in my life right now where I want to even try to dissect him. It’s not just a fact that he’s wrong, but that it seems altogether very much in rejection of the things that made his music so special. It was difficult for me to come to terms with it or fully make sense of why someone who’s unashamed expression of witty despair in the 80’s and 90’s, someone who was outcasted from the overall closed mindedness lower working class post ww2 world of northern England, unafraid to be gay and completely the antithesis of some Tory ideal could be bought by some tired nationalist agenda. It’s even more difficult to realize where his alegianced lie in a world that is starting to reject democracy, embrace anti intellectualism in the guise of some form of selective politically motivated skeptism, and I see the world move farther and farther into fascism.

Margaret Thatcher attacked The Smiths. Morrissey was taken in for questioning more than once out of fear for what he represented. Morrissey and The Smiths has some subversive element that really did threaten the establishment and cultural norms, in a way that I feel was a little more multidimensional than even a lot of bands in the English punk scene. I guess for me, even though I grew up in the Inland northwest of the US, I felt there was a lot of parallels in common. I too detest a culture based around animal consumption, was really not a part of the world I grew up in and didn’t want to work in the factories, I liked art and music and nobody around me was really into that stuff.

I still like the Smiths and most of Morrisseys old music. I read his autobiography. I know he is a dramatic self involved individual but I did feel that up till somewhat recently his heart was in the right place and he just liked to be controversial, which is somewhat true still, but now I think there was more to it, some nationalistic self preservation instinct kicking in. Its actually more prevelant than I even realized and I honestly think it’s getting the best of anyone with money or power, even those who once stood for something counter culture. It’s hard to think of him as racist in the traditional sense with his adoration for Latin America, but he might just be so self involved that his popularity in those regions gave him a bias. He probably separates the racism from the nationalism, blindly not wanting to see how the two concepts are quite inseparable. Falling right into it.

Him saying “everyone prefers their own race”, is kind of wild to me. I genuinely even try to entertain this as a possibility like a philosophical thought experiment or a deep dive of some kind into my own subconscious part of me I am avoiding somehow, and it’s not true for me or a lot of people. Who the fuck is he to say who prefers who, and how backwards and dehumanizing. It’s pretty repulsive, and being he is bisexual and felt the discrimination of homophobia growing up, I’m inclined to think he’s not able to see that he’s become the enemy he once represented the antithesis of.

The guy I’ve kinda been with is Mexican. I totally love him. I look into people’s eyes and I talk to and open up to people and if I connect with them I connect with them. Not like I’m trying to play the I gotta friend who is this or that as some kind of example of much, or that I don’t see color or some faulty implication, but I have been in situations where I’m the only white person at a party and I prefer them because they are my friends and I love them, and the idea of classifying who I prefer is to imply that the white race should be my main concern as they are the same as me and therefore superior and they aren’t. There is nothing inherently special to me or a kinship felt with other white people for either their appearance or cultural background. It’s nice to compare notes of pop culture but a lot of stuff people go through is universal. I don’t take too much issue with multiculturalism. My white skin is meaningless to me. I can’t imagine being so inept as a person that the color of my skin actually defines my identity rather than my autonomy or ideas or relationships and what I stand for and my ability to appreciate and connect with other people.

What gets me is that in his support of the far right is not even in line with his hatred of police, or the hatred he had a few years ago. I mean, he has always gone on and on about police brutality, he’s been harassed by them on multiple occasions. He shows them on giant projectors at his shows. Police are a very important staple for fascism and nationalism, and he is now on their side after all this time? What changed? The lost young man he once was in 1981 feels very very different from who he has become and piecing together that transformation has been something I’ve been trying to do for awhile. I try to embrace both but they seem like similar but different people at odds with one another, like an uncle and nephew.

Here is what I imagine happened, and I could be wrong about that but I was a Morrissey fangirl for quite awhile. I literally had his signed autograph above my bed with dried flowers around it like a shrine for a few years, and got a grasp of Morrisseys personality in some ways.

To start off, Morrissey is a very poetic and sharp guy but he’s very miopic about his interests and has always had the tendency to see the world in a black and white framework. This in and of itself is not necessarily bad, but it’s the core framework of who he is as a person. When he was young it was very much more a reflection of his hatred for authoritarianism and deceitful people and phony artists. It’s not bad and it contributed to his music and lyrics and became the thing he was loved/hated for. The way he goes about it really has always been the double edged sword of his charm and vileness all in one and something people have mocked time and time again. He likes to be the guy in the corner that looks fine and smug and believes he sees the virtues/dispicable attributes of everyone in the room and there have been times in his life where he was, and though he won’t ever attack anyone face to face he’s quick to speak his mind about it.

Morrissey is also a very vain person. It’s subtle but he is very singular on certain aesthetics. At times it made him brilliant and poetic and a visionary. The Smiths album covers are beautiful. His look is both elegant and absurd in its grasp for purity. It also makes him seem like a twat and a pretentious prince. The fact that he seems to be these two things at once is what gave him that kind of controversial star quality at times.

Those are just two natural traits he has always been obvious with. And he struggled with it and focused on his passions and dealt with depression in the 80’s. Then fame happened and the smiths ended. He kept to himself more or less in the 80’s and 90’s aside from his disdain for Margaret Thatcher, but he kinda lost his mind a bit when his drummer took him to court in the nineties. Right or wrong he fought for two years and lost a good chunk of his money from The Smiths and when that happened he kind of was forced to start again. He lost his home. He developed that early personalized sense of self preservation and victimhood. I think he lost faith in many of his more naive ideals when he was younger. When you read his autobiography and know what happened it’s like he had to step out of his old life and into something else.

Then, he’s always been a vegetarian superiority type. I liked that he calls it as he sees it but because of his need to black and white think everything he came off as deluded and smug. I mean, to be fair you can’t seem to win with people who want to eat meat and I agreed with a portion of his message, but he never questioned himself. He’s not good at that, or doesn’t appear to be. My personal interpretation of him was to agree with part of it and give him the cred for being not afraid to be a dick and say it, but to see also that he was so dramatic and self absorbed about it to also laugh at him and the way he said it.

Now to go into fascism and why it grew on Morrissey. I see the world as kind of falling into polarization and flux because of the failures of neoliberalism. It’s a long political explanation, but essentially the systems that are in place do not provide answers to a lot of catestrophic issues. Democracy, though the best thing we have, is flawed. I really like philosophy and have studied this and the various arguments that are made, and I don’t have the answer either but fuck if I will ever side with nazis.

People are seaking solace in new ideas that are actually quite old, namely socialism and fascism that provide answers that democracy fails to. Capitalism eats itself and created monopolies and unfair wealth distribution, technology is making human labor obsolete and therefore not a stable means to base our economic system on, those with wealth are hoarding it and trying to separate themselves from the world they helped ruin. We are destroying the planet, running out of natural resources, many of our leaders in the last three or for decades have been flawed, there isn’t a universal safety net for things like natural disasters and pandemics and there are still places stripped of their natural resources where human slavery is prevalent and children starve to death. Neoliberalism has promised some great answer but has actually been the contributor to this entire mess.

We are seeing the beginning of the end now, and I am sure Morrissey isn’t going to waste that without putting himself in the victim shoes, the white traditional quintessentially Englishman of wit, who sees his beautiful world he grew up in disappearing in multiculturalism and seeing himself and the culture of old England as a dying breed, that needs to be preserved at any cost. He probably was on the fence about it for some time, weighing out his disdain for authoritarianism, having a bougouis experience with the seemingly left leaning media that he never managed to win over and called him out for his every misstep. I bet he had a friend who opened him up to the idea that we don’t know about who changed his mind. I bet cuts in taxes for the rich helped him preserve his wealth that he definitely feels entitled to after losing the first portion of it in the court case. He’s rich, famous and old and often times that leads to being quite out of touch, even to the best intellectuals. He lost his mother who was dear to him and I can imagine, even though it’s not political, it created a deep sense of emptiness and dis ease. Nationalism often times gives people a sense of security and identity and purpose. And the idea of having an unpopular opinion excited him just as it always has, gave him the opportunity to be the smug poet in the corner of the party, and he sold out. Hard. And he’s probably proud of it.

He’s irrelevant now. Honestly his latest album wasn’t good, and I like later Morrissey. He doesn’t have the same energy. I just feel like he’s grasping at something that he never fully ever had. What’s weird to me is that I’m writing about him like this when honestly, I could also easily write about how beautiful and meaningful the Smiths and Morrissey has been to me. I can’t explain how it cut through the extreme isolation I’ve been in, not to mention how the Smiths really changed music for the better. There’s always going to be a part of me that wants to defend him. I’m not saying we cancel him. I kinda think he canceled himself. I’m not going to try to not enjoy the smiths or morrissey when I hear him, and I will still hear it and enjoy it but I’m not ever going to spend my own money on filling his pockets. I still nostalgically enjoy the person he was a very long time ago and what he used to represent. I realize at the end of the day he’s just a flawed person. But also fuck fascism, and fuck Morrissey for caving into it.

I mean, at the end of the day the hardest part is that I made him a part of my identity and I just had to stop doing that in a simplistic way. I tossed out a morrissey shirt I had (it’s was a cheesy shirt anyway), and I found new genres of music and while I still love the smiths it’s not like I can’t do without them every day. I break down and listen to them sometimes. I know the songs so well. I listen to Xiu Xiu which is a modern day similar equivalent in some ways but is absolutely better and the singer Jamie Stewart is fucking gold.

[vaguely-concerned]

Some more mass effect andromeda thinky thoughts as I run around heleus getting some achievements! 

- the murderous angaran ai is genuinely so fucking funny. “How are you feeling here on Aya?” “I hope you die” “Is there anything we could do to make you more comfortable?” “BURY THIS PLANET UNDER FIRE AND ASH” “o.oookay. Goodbye then.” “I HATE you.”

- I hope I never become irresistibly moved to write mass effect andromeda fic b/c there really is no other description for a good 70% of the expressions reyes makes than :> and how could one capture that in words

- as mentioned I’ve been doing a bit of achievement hunting and in the process I’ve been switching up a lot of gameplay stuff from how I handled it the first few times around and let me tell you it’s baller as fuuuuuuuuuck -- it just looks so awesome and is so satisfying between the maneuverability of the jetpack and biotic charge and the effects. special shoutout to what happens if you biotic charge a frozen victim enemy and the biotic pull/push combination. (throwing people around like ragdolls is actually so much fun I’ve kept doing it even after I unlocked the achievement lol)

- lol lol when you get meridian online there’s the montage of every planet coming back to life, right? well the one on kadara is from inside kralla’s song, with umi looking out at everything that’s happening. and all I can imagine is her jaded-ass voice going ‘what the fUCK did that asshole kid do now I only just cleaned up after the bar brawl he started with his krogan grandpa and now he’s rearranging the entire fucking planet right from under us goddess I need a drink’ 

- the implication that reyes ‘cards so close to my chest you won’t even know I’m playing’ vidal just does not shut up about how amazing ryder is to anyone who’ll listen gives me so much life. when you try to be mysterious and laidback but the human pathfinder is so fucking cute tho Y____Y (also go watch his scenes if you’re being standoffish with him the entire time -- he clearly wants ryder to like him so much right from the beginning, he’s doing so much work to no avail and I feel sort of bad for how funny I find it haha. interesting that it really does seem to be an emotional thing as well as y’know the practical/tactical benefits of having the pathfinder on his side. methinks the charlatan might be a bit lonely there behind all his masks lol) 

I think this is why I’m willing to give him some benefit of the doubt too, despite all the cloak and dagger stuff -- he’s so immediately drawn to ryder, who you can never make a bad person, really. something in him must respond to that, if potentially only in the ‘attracted to traits I do not possess myself’ way hahaha

- I love sam. so so much. some of the open world implementation is still grating (yes sam. yes I know I can mine this area for resources through my mining interface. we’ve been doing this for a hundred hours sam. you’ve been right here with me the entire time sam. please sam), but he’s SUCH a good and I’d argue underutilized concept (emotionally at least) and the best boy. the fact that he can get SARCASTIC on you fsdhfjsadh he’s growing and learning! he’s doing so from inside your brain which is kind of unsettling but also SO COOL! there’s something about that level of intimacy, of always knowing there will be someone there with you in your head that is super interesting and deserves to be examined more fully -- both how it could be comforting and how it’s  r e a l l y  not how people or ai are generally designed to work lol. 

he also gives us a unique link with our dad and I wonder if the writers would have explored that in more depth if there’d been more development time -- it practically SCREAMS out an invitation to get to play/see things from alec’s POV in short bursts, like the memories you unlock except you could go through playing it as him since sam is common to both of us. (see my ‘our dad comes back through either kett or remnant nonsense in the sequel and we need to find some way to connect with him’ idea. it would be. amazing. listen alec already looked at the ethical guidelines involved in creating ai and went ‘huh interesting ideas but not for me thanks!’, don’t tell me he wouldn’t have left some loophole in so this could happen)  

- reyes literally says ‘the cavalry’s here’ when we get to meridian and I for one love him more than words can express (he also asks us if we’re okay in sort of a sweet/worried way right before we get to the control room. aw buddy) 

- like we don’t think of them like that because we’re in control of them and see all the stumbles and awkwardness and how young they are all the time, but damn the ryder twins must look like something else to everyone in andromeda haha. they literally stride around like demigods restoring entire planets. on voeld spring non-metaphorically follows in their footsteps. shit dude if we’re talking realpolitik here the angara must feel  p r e t t y nervous about this -- there’s no one saying they can’t turn off the vaults as easily as they turned them on. I hope we get them somehow teaching the angara how to do it too, on a smaller scale at least, as a show of good faith or something in a sequel, because that power imbalance is disconcerting  

- I’m glad sam and I have such similar priorities whenever we’re on kadara. ‘maybe mr vidal would know. perhaps we should ask mr vidal about this. mr vidal said something relating to this pathfinder maybe we should speak to him’ . yeah sam i know the feeling, same (it does undeniably read as sam having a bit of a crush which is. hilarious?) 

- the fact that alec ryder thought ellen responded to his bad boy act in any way when what really charmed her was that he was a great big nerd <3 it’s kind of nice to see a fictional marriage that seems to have just been. nice and stable and chill? just two intellectual equals who like and respect each other very much and not a lot of drama until alec went full alec and started developing rogue ai instead of watching his wife die lol. again I would love for the sequel to involve ellen finally waking up and being like ‘death? trying to claim MY husband? I do not think so, I can die he can’t he’s not leaving me behind’ and helping out and you realize that the reason they were soulmates was that under the relatively rational and unemotional surface they’re both, at heart, batshit crazy mad scientists who are insanely devoted to each other. imagine it tho! the people of andromeda realize alec ryder is back from the dead somehow and doing some Shit out there, they put a ton of resources into curing ellen’s disease because their best shot is something to do with the implants she made, hey presto we’ve got all ryders on the board and in play. 

- just want to make it clear that I’m still sad about avitus rix and hope he’s having a good day

- do you think ryder ever asks sam to read something to him ‘aloud’ in his head if he’s anxious and can’t sleep. or just to talk at him about something boring until he nods off. again the possibilities inherent in the concept!!! he has someone who’s closer to him than any other person could be, what’s that like? 

- *me sticking to my sidewinder pistol the whole playthrough even though it’s laughably inefficient* I just wanna feel like a cowboy bioware please work with me here

- the male ryder voice actor has such amazing comedic timing, there’s a lot of reaction stuff out in the field he absolutely nails. I enjoy the female voice too and I like how much emotion she manages to convey towards the end of the game especially, but there’s a casual comedy in male ryder’s voice that can’t be beat. (well, it’s not hawke levels, but then nothing ever is, that’s too much to ask)

- I love vorn and kesh so much. nerd krogans unite & make out

- I still want to sit peebee down and have a long serious talk with her about emotional abuse, maybe give her a hug :( fuck kalinda 

- this game does not get enough credit for how stunningly beautiful it is, it all got buried under criticism about the animations and it’s a fucking shame. the last few vaults you go through are just mindboggling in scale and visual uh striking-ness. it makes me so sad to think there won’t be any more of it D: 

- I really like this mainly casual + logical dialogue options ryder I’ve found; it makes him sound like a younger and more irreverent version of his father, but also softer and less closed off and much more willing to show affection for his family especially. 

- i wonder if different people’s individual SAMs will take on a certain tone/unique pattern when they’ve coexisted long enough. have I mentioned. how much I want a sequel to this game 

- one last reyes note because don’t look at me okay -- I wonder how much we’re meant to read into ‘being honorable never got me anywhere’. on the one hand I’m fully prepared to believe he’s never even tried doing anything the honorable way in his entire life lol but on the other there’s also some interesting potential in the interplay of that sentence and ‘to be someone’. (there seems to be a deep fear in him both of powerlessness and of being truly seen/recognized -- he equates secrecy with safety pretty explicitly -- which seems... telling? of what I don’t know but telling all the same hahaha) like he might be saying he’s tried doing things the ‘right’ way and it didn’t work and the price was too high, so he just went for this instead with the ends low-key justifying the means. hmmm. :Ia (this is what happens when I get Attached to a character with like an hour of screentime my friends, and I’m already primed to give my entire heart away at the sound of nicholas boulton’s voice)

[smuttymess]

bts astro soulmate reading | for jenn

sign: virgo sun | virgo moon | taurus rising

lover: kim namjoon | soulmate: kim taehyung

This reading is for Jenn, a cutie who triple biases Yoongi, Jimin and Namjoon but is regularly wrecked by Jungkook. And to complicate things further you are astrologically compatible with 2/3 of the Big Dick Kim line! It certainly can’t be easy living this way. Anyway, hope you enjoy this reading, love.

Where to begin, Virgo? Determined, intellectual, gracious and refined are some of the ways you are perceived by the world around you. With both your Sun and Moon in Virgo, these traits are fully amplified and realized on a daily basis and make up your sense of identity - your dedication to hard work, patience, fairness and learning acting as the pillars of your life. You are one of the strongest and most secure forces in the zodiac, and you value this piece of yourself highly as it is tied into your ego but also your truest self. A natural leader, the confidence exuded from your innately stable, curious and rational mind is very attractive to those around you who lack your focus and fortitude in their own lives. The desire and ability to help people is more or less in your DNA, and your friends, family, and colleagues are always happy to take your advice, which you are able to deliver plainly and matter-of-factly- a true gift heightened by your Taurus rising. The analyzer of the star signs, beneath your outwardly stoic exterior is a mind that is constantly hard at work, looking to improve or correct either yourself or society at large. To you, beauty lies in the ability to identify problems - of which there are endless amounts - and fix them methodologically. Full of ideas, solutions, and well-informed insights, alongside a meticulously detailed mind - you see things that other’s regularly miss. With such strong principles and a dedication to righteousness in all areas of your life, you no stranger to openly voicing your thoughts to others about how the world can and should be. If only the world would listen!

You are the pure embodiment of quantity over quality, with everything and everyone in your orbit serving as an irreplaceable, valuable part of your life. It is exceptionally rare for you to engage with any frivolity and and careless behavior, and you want those around you to exist on a similarly high wavelength. While you are sociable and curious, it is likely that you have a small circle of extremely close friends, family, and romantic relationships who you hold dear. Loyalty comes naturally to you when people provide themselves to be trustworthy and kind, and you enjoy deep, lifelong connections with those select few. Quality also exists in the way you present yourself, the food you eat, and the beverages you consume. You are certainly not someone that over-indulges in lavish meals or time-consuming practices, opting instead to buy high quality ingredients and cook at home. It is in the organic produce section of the grocery store where you see a man looking extremely lost as he navigates around all of the fruits and vegetables. You're pretty sure by just looking at him that he has not ever made a meal in his life, his large hands clumsily handling each piece of produce in search of the right one, and you hate seeing a poor attractive stranger in need. Are you lost? After successfully guiding him to the right section, your helper Virgo at work, you turn to walk away before he shyly asks if you could also help him locate another item in the store. I have to make dinner for my hyungs tonight and as you can see have no idea what I'm doing. Though typically not easily distracted, there is no way you're saying no to this man - who introduces himself as Kim Namjoon - or those strong arms that you can imagine wrapping around your frame, holding you close and moving over your curves.

The relationship that ensues between you and Namjoon is initially relatively platonic, with you two Earth signs moving at a notoriously glacial pace physically - choosing instead to build and truly get to know each other's minds first and foremost. Between two Virgos is an immediate mental connection as you are both incredibly intellectual, able to jump easily across a vast range of topics. With Namjoon, you don't even have to go far to feel a world away - enthralled in the depth of his intelligence, virtues and drive provided by his Mercury in Libra and Jupiter in Scorpio. Your chart equips you with a strength, wisdom, and shyness that mimics his own character, and that is highly attractive to him. Only when you feel that you've established full trust with each other's hearts can you move into the physical, which ranges from sweet and passionate to energetic and frenzied. You're not ones for exhibition or excessive experimentation, preferring your tried-and-true methods of getting each other off in the privacy of your own home. Foreplay for you normally consists of an intellectual sparring match over dinner, the ideas flowing back and forth before you find yourselves back at his apartment, lips locked as you your hands float down down his strong, firm back as he carries you to the bedroom. Two Virgos are typically not as passionate as they are skilled, and you both derive satisfaction from seeing the other go crazy under your expert touch. As his hands move gently down your frame before slipping two fingers in between your thighs, you are taken out of the harsh, thinking world and into a more sensual one where you are both able to lose yourselves. Nothing turns Namjoon more than seeing you squirm beneath him, panting as he fucks you with his perfectly thick cock. It is hard to not completely fall apart at his voice or his smirk above you, his eyes increasingly dark at the sight of your pure lust. You look so fucking good baby. Say my name and tell me how much you love this, I want to hear you. Louder, baby.

Two Virgos have the capacity for romance, but in the long term gets eclipsed by the high levels of criticism that exists in this pairing. You are both prone individually to being nit-picking and finding flaws in yourself and others out of a shared desire to seek perfection in everything. For you, nothing is ever enough, and the journey to perfection is unending. Unfortunately, when you apply this much criticism to a relationship without enough emotional investment or words of affection, it will inevitably buckle beneath such pressure. Ultimately, after the dust of the breakup settles, you and Namjoon are able to acknowledge your differences and accepting that you are better as friends. And this is a lifelong friendship, with both of you serving as a resource to bounce ideas off of and get valuable feedback from. Namjoon regularly confides in you about his concerns about the future of his career, knowing you will provide an objective and logical take. Meanwhile, you find comfort in knowing that regardless of all of your pursuits, Namjoon will always hold you to the highest possible standard and that he is always a simple phone call away. Confidants in your professional realms, you are not afraid to share in each others growth, taking pride in your individual growth.

Not one to jump from one romantic relationship to the next, you use your time post-Namjoon to fully immerse yourself in your work and your interpersonal relationships. It surprises you as much as anyone when you find yourself giving your phone number to Kim Taehyung at a small gathering of friends. A Capricorn Sun with his Moon in Aries, he is the embodiment of intense and deliberate charm, which he decides to use to break down your more reserved, shy Virgo. He finds your initial standoffishness very cute and refreshing in a sea of men and women that constantly try to get his attention, and immediately senses that there is much more to you than meets the eye than a serious, stubborn brat. While you are relatively disinterested at first - he seems silly and a potential charmer on this particular night - he does not stop until he leaves with your number, promising to see you soon. Admittedly, your poor reasonable Virgo heart never stood a chance against the Capricorn deliberate intention paired with his godly visuals. That night you definitely go home and fantasize about how it would feel like to have those fingers playing with your nipples and grasping at every inch of you.

You are impressed to learn that Tae offers more than a gorgeous face and lethal charm. More than anything, you want to be secure, and in dating Taehyung you see the opportunity to create a life of comfort, stability and peace. While highly motivated and a perfectionist in his own right (Sun and Mercury in Capricorn) Tae possesses a cool, relaxed approach to life and his place within it. This quality, aided by his Venus in Aquarius. that provides you with the ideal level of autonomy, nurturing, and support you need in a partner. He doesn't need you to leave him alone because he knows when to pull back and let you focus, returning to share and engage in stories of your separate interests. The mutual appreciation and respect allows you two to form a very strong mind-soul connection over time. While you are both slow to engage in physical relationship, when you do it is here that your relationship is taken to new heights. Sex with Tae is not always spontaneous, but you are both extremely focused on each others pleasure and he is known to surprise you by shaking up the routine. You could be prepping dinner before you feel his hands on you kisses all over your body  before moving down to move your legs apart, his breath moving against your slit as he teases you. Wanting to ensure you are always in the present and not thinking about the next item on your to-do list, it is normal for his eyes to stay fixed on yours as he thrusts hard and deeply into you. He possess a magical ability to transport you to a much more uninhibited mindset - the growls leaving his mouth as your wetness drips down your thighs enough to make you forget you have the stove on. Phone sex when he is on the road is also a given, and he can make you come in record time simply by describing the way he wants you to touch your neck, the sensitive skin on your inner thighs. You body shakes as you hear him losing himself on the other end of the line. God, I can’t wait to fuck you my gorgeous girl. When I get home need you to be ready for me, just like you are right now. Send me a picture, I need to see how needy you are.

Your life with Taehyung is one built on mutual trust, respect and dedication. It is likely that you cultivate a minimalistic, stylish home that has all of the small comforts you desire and also showcases your individual personalities: Tae's photography on the walls and your many books and accolades lining the shelves. It is here that you enjoy a much-deserved refuge of the grind of everyday life before heading back out into the world to take it on full force the next morning. Though you approach life's challenges similarly (with full force and concentration) you are also able to show each other different ways of seeing the world: you with pure, pointed reason from your list experiences and he with more out-of-the-box, future-focused thinking. Tae's eccentric self allows you to access a more vulnerable and childlike side of yourself that was likely buried beneath the hardships of adulthood and daily life, served by his Jupiter in Sagittarius, which is spontaneous, inspirational and enthusiastic. He encourages you to occasionally stop and appreciate who you are, where you've been, and all that you've become - something you often miss in your quest for being the absolute best version of yourself. Together you establish yourselves as a team, working in tandem with each other to reach higher in your respective fields and deepen your understanding of life and love through each other's shared perspectives. With Tae, you learn that the journey in itself can be just as beautiful as the destination and there is perfection in the present. Ultimately, this is a duo that can and will navigate life's ups and down efficiently with confidence in each other and a tenacity, strength and care that is almost unmatched by any other astrological pairing. 

[lilmajorshawty]

House of Mirrors 💎 7th House Cusp.

Aries(mars/lust)on the 7th house cusp: “heat” “passion” and impulsivity color these folks. The more charming and passive mask you were introduced to can seem almost flipped upside down once you get romantically involved with these natives or rather shall I say once you get past the weighing scales. They can be combative-and easily aroused by the idea of asserting themselves in a one on one setting. They’re not as agreeable as they present themselves to be and actually have quite strongly held positions on matters. They tend to be attracted to love with a argumentative and or a erotically passionate suave to it. Love for them is less about the Amor than it is about the lust. This is not to say they aren’t the types to “fall in love” more so that they are the types to treasure a spark above all else-for what is love without a little fire? They have a butch shadow and can unknowingly be aggressive and have short attention spans with people and situations.

In love: they can be demanding and honest. They approach it authentically and bare and want it to feel like a cyclone. They are usually romantic in a tough and abrasive style.love is done in an aggressive yet protective way. Physical expression via sex and constant touch is a form of this. Once they start wanting to argue with you and bicker with you for the sake of it? Similarly to when someone with mars in the 5th house is in love? It’s the same thing here! Picking on you is a deep sign of love here.

-Leonardo DiCaprio, Beyoncé knowles, Adolf hitler, Jennifer Aniston, Britney Spears,Harry styles.

👤sky Ferreira you’re not the one.

Taurus(venus/Juno/Eros)on the 7th house cusp: “sensuality” and “longevity” these natives usually are quite the opposite of their mysterious and chaotic persona. In reality these natives are quite internally stable and what’s more a lot of the time they are easily able to keep their emotions in check and look at the bigger picture. It’s super easy for them to kick their legs up and relax. They aren’t ones to go out of their way to prove a point but they are extremely fixed and bullheaded deep down of course their mask is aswell but I’m a different light. Scorpio is fixed water like an icy glacier unmoving and unwavering while Taurus is more of a slow and steady rock formation “attached” and stubborn at its core-completely immobile. Love for them is an aphrodisiac and they often attract curvy and or plump lovers and or the Roman Beauty lovers(natural looks-not over the top) they have a naturally possessive nature and tend to be in relationships where the theme of “i own you” is present. They have a very refined and youthful sense of community and tend to have very happy marriages despite their lovers being occasionally sloth like and lazy; but the other could be said that they attract providers and nurtures. They may stay with a lover disputed hardships and find it hard to let go no matter what and those they attract are often the same. Love runs strong here.

In love:very stable lovers-many hold on too their lover tightly and can be extremely loyal and wrapped up in him or her. They don’t share and aren’t the types to easily be able to let a lover go for any reason. They are also extremely touchy feely and love to nurture those whom they love! Love is done in a caring yet sensual way. They crave you and want to be around you all the time. You basically turn into a pillow pet.

-Nicole Kidman, Katy perry, Hillary Clinton, Justin Bieber, Tom Cruise, Jim Carey, Prince.

👤Leisure Nobody

Gemini(mercury) on the 7th house cusp: “talkative” and cerebral. These natives are a lot more chit chatty then they seem at first glance and behind their aloof and free spirited nature lies a multifaceted individual-with more twist and turns than a maze it’s self. Romantically they’re an enigma and in their one on ones it can be hard to really gauge whose the shadow and who’s the main body. They often are very intellectually minded and have a insatiable craving for intellect from those they’re interested in-they love that detached aspect to relating but they love the concept of love through the mouth so to speak. The idea of verbal love and communication run deep for them and they love a lover who knows what to say and how to deliver it. It’s not about looks or sex as much as it is first and for most about ones personality and the vivaciousness of it. They attract people on the slimmer and daintier side and may date younger lovers and attract that audience. They usually aren’t eager to settle down unless Saturn is touching mercury and even then to really get them to take you seriously it’s about how they fall in love with you mentally before anything else.

In love: ah you know when they fall in love with you-it’s all in their voice and their actions. They let you speak, they love hearing what you have to say and are extremely sensitive to your moods and feelings. They become passive and hate to correct you-they are very protective of you physically and your ideas mentally. Not to mention they leave open door ways for you to communicate-always.(they are sooooo sensitive to their lovers I actually think this is something people don’t notice)

-Brad Pitt, Scarlett Johansson, Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lawrence, Oprah Winfrey, Bruce lee, Marlon Brando

👤The Neighborhood 24/7

Cancer(moon/Ceres)on the 7th house cusp: “turbulent” and “mothering” these natives are a lot more emotionally unpredictable than they let on. Their emotional world is full of authentic ups full of bubbly joy and optimism to lows full of insecurity and doubt. They crave on a deeper level to be understood-to be held and free in a sense to let down their heavy bags and weep. They’re strong persona comes at the cost of others only viewing them as the apex-the headstrong juggernaut completely dissociated with the realm of feeling. In reality they tend to be very huge softies even if it is an introverted expression and they for better or worse interact with others on this same receptive wavelength. Many attracted to them are compassionate and or emotionally defensive types and their lovers are usually on the gentle and more parental type usually the archetype of the “mother” be it a male or female partner. They tend to get involved in relationships early and have a tendency to unconsciously seek a lover that resembles a parent or the loss of one.( caution is advised when having sex in the early years as their is a tendency for over sterility here. One might be more able of conceiving without noticing on certain moon cycles/male of female/ and also a danger of partners using children as a means to trap you similarly to cancer in the 8th house cups-this is just a way it may manifest though so it’s not set in stone but keep a look out)

In love: intense. They tend to demand a lot of their mates both physically and emotionally unkowningly draining themselves as well as their mates. They are extremely protective and tend to open up to their mates completely although it takes time the moon being here/cancer shows that they usually trust their partners with their deepest side. The mama bear in them comes out and they instinctively do anything for their lovers. You’ll get so attached you’ll know exactly when and where there gonna start crying.

-Jesus Christ, Taylor Swift, Cristiano Ronaldo, Megan Fox, Ariana Grande, Gwen stefani

👤salvia Plath I was all over her

Leo(sun/Amor) on the 7th house cusp: “engulfing” “ego” these natives are far more dominate and self influenced then they outwardly portray. They tend to really shine in a one on one setting-while they do still have an incredible sway with the crowd on a superficial level-they deep down know good and well how fascinating and entrancing they are. Despite this being the house of mirrors those with The Sun or Leo in this house have an incredible amount of self awareness but often don’t like to present their more confident and independent side out of a fear of coming across as conceded or an “army of i” so to speak. They love interacting with others as they unlock a new part of themselves through such connections. Much of their ego is heavily projected in their relationships and in most cases their either with someone who plays the part of their ego or they themselves are with someone who allows them to play this role. Those attracted to them are often prideful, dominate, exciting and daring. Their relationships are usually quite passionate and romantic. But I’ve noticed their a battleground for ego clashes.

In love: ah they are quite powerful once in love. Everything makes them beam and they are extremely proud of their lovers! Many tend to treat their lovers like kings/queens. They are extremely demanding and require a lot of attention but only because they give a wild amount in return. That being said they’re still quite independent when in love. Availability but not to available.

-Barack Obama, David Bowie, Nicki Minaj, Russell Crowe, Orlando Bloom, Matt Damon.

👤 Jessie ware egoista/selfish love

Virgo(mercury Rx/Chiron)7th house cusp:

“Sturdy” “reserved” these natives are quite grounded and realistic despite their cloudy and often times blurry outward energy. They tend to set practical and structured goals towards their interactions with others and usually try not to overstep their level of expectation from those around them out of a need to have some sort of read on their situation. One on ones can be either uncomfortable or tiring for them. To much has to go into it in their eyes and often times they’d rather sit back and observe then interact. They are not dramatic lovers by any means and usually like quite love affairs-the type of love that is over time and something that two people grow and evolve in. This attracted to them are usually the submissive and shy types. Intellectuals and those with gentle and somewhat arrogant temperaments are drawn to them and this is actually their shadow as well.

In love: these natives truly are quite a sight to behold in love. They love quite deeply and usually for years in end. Like most earth dc-they’re not usually casual daters and usually have few relationships but they were big and usually have quite a deep emotional bond that never fades away. They tend to sacrifice quite a bit in love and are extremely dedicated and loyal. They in a way become a servant to their lovers-with dignity mind you but they serve their lover non the less. “You want it? I’ll get it”

-Michael Jackson, George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Whitney Houston, Zayn Malik

👤Justin Timberlake strawberry bubblegum

Libra(venus rx/Aphrodite) in the 7th house cusp: “charming” “withholding” these natives are far more affectionate in nature then their more colder and abrasive outward energy may immediately express. To be frank these natives are huge cuddle bears and tend to be very adaptable when it comes to people. They have a very soft and warm inner aura and naturally attract others to them like flies. They are both easily graceful and teases. Due to this being the shadow house and due to the nature of a natal retrograde they often don’t resonate with this more gentle yet loving energy within them and more so see it in others. Those drawn to them are usually superficial types-both airy and easy on the eyes but may lack the necessary tools to relate to others on a more emotive way. And vice versa to those sharing libra or venus rx on the 7th house cusp.

In love: they are quite the perplexing ones when in love. They can grow obsessed with the idea-the mere concept but often may withhold so much of themselves once they actually begin to feel love for someone in the physical realm. This is mainly done out of a fear of truly connecting and losing that connection they’d sought after. They’re very giving and doting when in love and tend to be extremely supportive of their lovers wishes. Romantic to the core. Candles and intimate night outs. They get pretty angry when their lovers are disrespected.

-Rihanna, Shakira, Amber Rose, Kendall Jenner, Chris rock, Big Sean.

👤toro y moi by the neck

Scorpio(Hades/mars rx/Pluto/Lilith) on the 7th house cusp: “intimidating” “overwhelming” despite their more relaxed and unbothered persona these natives are quite the volcano beneath the surface. Often times there one on ones with others can be tricky and a bit more complex then what is being shown first glance. Often there are many power plays and subtle undercurrents that go on in their interactions that incite mysterious and sometimes manipulative scenarios. Due to the shadowy nature of this house these natives often view others as the ones whom are to serious or to intense for their liking. In many cases there is and can often be outright denial of self inflicted sabotage in their relationships. The thing here is this is a karmic planet/asteroid/sign so often times this comes back to bite them by the energies coiling back and either returning the favor or bringing their baggage out in the open. Romance can be heavily karmic and intensely involved. Those whom they attract are extremely powerful and willful individuals-their love nature is both intense and tempting. A Heavy possessive and sexual component is present in partnerships and especially marriage.

In love: usually the head dog in charge! Doesn’t like to play the submissive role in love and even if they are submissive they’re still controlling the play one way or another. Extremely loyal and very deeply intertwined with their lovers. Very physical and touchy similarly to Taurus dc but more in private setting. Highly demanding and can be quite harsh and mean to their lovers but once more this is only because they love their partner so deeply and Pluto feels the need to constantly reject this love(since it’s a sign of vulnerability). PROTECTIVE AF.

-Martin Luther king, Mikey Cyrus, Lana del Rey, Mariah Carey, Halle berry

👤Jhene Aiko Overstimulated

Sagittarius(Jupiter/Vesta)in the 7th house: “nomadic” “insatiable” these natives are far more intune with the world than there more scattered and first layer persona seems to suggest. There is a pronounced free spirit inside these natives, one that lives to experience it all. Most of these experiences come from there interactions from others. It can at times seem as though they live for others and to an extent don’t know how to do things solo so to speak. This is not to say that they are social piranha; they simply just crave that inner growth and stimulation that they get from connecting with others. They often attract good fortune and those who serve for better or worse as a guide and or friendly spirit in some way! The latter can be lazy and sluggish types who are overly optimistic yet un enterprising. Love is seen as a journey and often times their lovers are larger than life and fairly youthful! For men gay and otherwise the lover might be on the more curvy and thicker side while for women the lover could be curvy but also may have a more muscular and or earthy rugged look to them. This could indicate multiple partners and sometime marriages but this is just one manifestation! It also points to a happy and beneficial marriage! So look forward to being that one wild rocker old couple who drives the doom buggy.

In love: super playful and optimistic in love! They tend to be erratic and fly between wanting intimacy and feeing trapped by it. They often make up and brake up with their s/o a lot until they learn that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. The more mature ones simply brake up to clear their head and make sure they’re ready for commitment. They love very passionately and for a very long time-but can lose interest once the relationship losses it’s direction.

-Lady Gaga, Kristen Stewart,Pamela Anderson, Lindsey Lohan, Ashton Kutcher.

👤Dagny wearing nothing

Capricorn(Saturn/karma) in the 7th house cusp: “rigid” “structured” unlike there more nurturing and sensitive appearance as authentic as it is-make no mistake these natives are intensely self sufficient and stable deep down. They can filter through their emotions and often times screen much of what they feel before it disrupts the rest of their dealings. They approach others in a systematic and heavily detached way-more so than Aquarian dc’s. They tend to maintain a reasonable distance from those they interact and tend to not be fond of meaningless conversation and small talk. It’s the big picture for them and papa Saturn is irritated by wasted time. Romantically they tend to attract somber and cold partners-this doesn’t make them any less loving mind you it just means there not the most “lovey dobey” and loud about it types. They just are reliable and be it male or female they’re very fatherly and providers. These natives view the world as to intense and to work oriented without realizing they are this way as well. They are usually into older lovers. And older and or more mature people are drawn to them.

In love: DEEP DEEP DEEP. they love very hard-and it takes them years to fall in love, it doesn’t happen over night and they need time to process you always. They are so sacrificing and immensely giving in their partnerships. They don’t like public pda and prefer more subtle and quite bouts of love in the public eye. They are very intimate and often sensitive. Their lovers are extremely caring and usually are more sensitive in a private setting as well.

-Angelina Jolie, Bill Gates, Kanye West, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ben Affleck, Adele, Mel Gibson

👤Alexandra savior shades

Aquarius(Uranus/Saturn rx)in the 7th house cusp: “electric” “bold” there’s a more mysterious and closed off personality hidden behind the passionate and fiery confidence that is presented here. They can be quite fascinating but also quite out of reach. These natives can be extremely dynamic but can just as easily be hard to relate to. They are unique in every sense of the word-a genius when it comes to one on ones yet an outsider when it comes down to intimacy. They love to relate to others but hate the other aspects of it that call for a more human like response. They actually tend to find others as overly focused on themselves. The odd thing is that the axis of Leo and aqua on both decans don’t actually view others as themselves but rather the opposite. Aqua dc tend to find those the interact with as vain and missing the big picture while Leo dc tend to find others to be too focused on the world to out of orbit. Not to say these people don’t attract their fair share of odd individuals. Romantically they run very hot and cold and can be quite easily in a relationship physically but not emotionally.

In love: speedsters. They move fast in love-they skip stages even and can have a hard time with pacing. They are novice when it comes to love no matter how old they are and this is their most charming trait-their authenticity. They view love as an experiment and love to try it out-they love to practice the emotions, the routines, the moments. But keep in mind they do this all for you-for them love isn’t as easy as saying it’s from the “heart” for them it has to include the mind as well.

-Donald trump, Marylin Monroe, Selena Gomez, Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake, Al Pacino

👤Metronomy I’m Aquarius

Pisces(Neptune/Jupiter rx/psyche) in the 7th house cusp: “dreamy” “elusive” unlike there more practical and earthy disposition there is a cloudy and thick mist surrounding them. These natives tend to be quite the magnetic variety-devouring those whom come around them in a flurry of misunderstandings and shadow boxing. It can seem like you’re talking to a shadow yourself and out of all the placements this one reflects the reflection to a point of which these natives can’t even tell themselves apart from what’s being projected and what they’re indeed projecting. They often attract destiny at their doorstep and can meet lovers that they’ve been involved with from multiple time lines and lives. Even those they meet in a one on one platonically can have some karmic merit in their lives that serves to clear some of the smog mist. Their one on ones can be odd and may seem like a mixture of being used v being beneficial. It’s hard to tell who’s being used and it’s also hard to tell when someone is on your side or against you because nothing is out in the open. Romantically they tend to attract confused lovers-lovers with a unique deficiency and or who may have metal problems and or sexually ambiguous ways. Lovers may be deeply in love with these individuals but in the case of the individuals with these planets and Pisces here it can be hard to gauge your level of interest apart from what is being projected onto you.

In love: extremely atmospheric. Can be so deep and otherworldly when in love. Their love often surpasses gender and sexuality for that matter and often they can be in unconventional relationships. Their lovers tend to be immensely attached and vice versa and there is a immense and almost crazy amount of fate involved in their love. ATTACHMENT RUNS HEAVY ON BOTH ENDS. A lot of forgiveness on both ends(sometimes cheating is forgiving here as well because of the huge amount of love, but this is one way it manifest)

-Madonna, Steve Jobs, Kurt Cobain, Keanu Reeves, Umma Thurman, Jay Z, Mark Zuckerberg, Tom Hanks, Ryan Reynolds

👤kindness feat Kelela With you.

[mikami]

What about relationship headcanons for mikami? sfw and nsfw? I know it's doubtful that this little bean would be in a relationship, but just humor me. Like what would his s/o be like also?

Mikami relationship headcanon: he sucks at dating–

No, okay, I’ll be serious and elaborate, haha. I agree with you that he’d generally not date. I don’t think he’s dated anyone for longer than a week in his life….

But, for the hypothetical what if situation… I’ll start with the final question:

His s/o would first of all have to be a pro-active person in pursuing this relationship. Mikami won’t ask anyone out. Mikami cannot be bothered to do that and on the off-chance he develops feelings for someone first, he’ll choke on them before he makes the first move towards letting someone in.Then of course, his prospective date must meet the general “Mikami-approved Good Person Criteria ™”: they must be hardworking, they must either work in the justice system or otherwise have a job or engagement related to improving society, they must have a strong black/white-leaning sense of justice that doesn’t disagree with Mikami’s unreasonable fanaticism too harshly….They can’t be emotionally demanding. Mikami has not much to give, feelings-wise, his work comes first. Someone who would want to be the Nr. 1 priority in his life would definitely clash too harshly with him. Charm and looking good in a suit are bonus points. A too active social life meanwhile is a minus, it would probably drive Mikami away…..

So yeah, complicated. Mikami’s standards are high and he’s not looking to lower them for anyone or anything… hence, he does not date. He’s not sad about not dating either. He tried it for like a hot minute, disliked it, moved on.

But on the off-chance that he’d get lured in by a suitable partner….

He’s overall the passive partner. He does not initiate the relationship nor any moves to deepen it. You only get out of him what you put in, often less than that. 

His idea of a date is dinner at a restaurant, period, full stop. He’s not creative. If you’re lucky it’s homecooked dinner at his place, but like, you better have been dating for a while at that point.

He breaks up at the slightest sign of trouble. Mikami is not looking for a partnership, so he’s not really going to give second chances when he feels something violated his code of conduct. The exception here is if he’s already made a major sacrifice for the relationship. In that case, he’d try harder to prove that he hasn’t made a huge mistake in making that sacrifice… In a twisted sense, it makes the relationship more stable. (Easy example: with a male partner, he’d have had to challenge homophobia to get together. The threshold for dating is higher already, so his investment in the dynamic has to be higher to get to the point. Mikami doesn’t want this amount of effort to be in vain.)

Even if he’s fully emotionally invested in the relationship, he’s not very romantic. Spending extended amounts of time with someone is a lot for him! You can’t expect him to do… charm?? on top of that??

At least he texts his partner regularly though.

And the one good point is that if he’s invested in a relationship, he has his partner’s back in the “you are a Good Person (else I would not be dating you) so don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise!” way.

…. so basically, don’t date Mikami. The NSFW addition is under the read more:

… once again, he’s the passive partner. 

There are a lot of trust issues with regard to body image and touching and vulnerability to dance around at the start!! The man’s not dealing too well with being naked in the presence of someone else after related childhood torture experiences. He’ll get over it, but :/

He’s also super inexperienced and generally awkward. Knowledge about sex? You’re looking in the wrong place here.

So basically, he’s excessive mediocre in bed unless his partner guides and takes charge, haha.

He can improve over time and with sufficient investment in the relationship, but sex is just not his priority either.

He could and would talk about politics during, don’t test him.

HYGIENE AND SAFE SEX ARE THE ULTIMATE PRIORITY. He’s not gonna do anything weird. Or unsafe. Or even slightly messier than usual.

He’s apprehensive about someone else taking charge, but very much enjoys having a dominant partner when it’s someone he trusts to give up control to.

So yeah basically, unless the emotional bond is close to maxed out, sex with Mikami is a mess and not recommended.

Dating Mikami is not recommended.

I mean all of this is of course very dependent on the individual relationship with the given partner, but that’s about the broad “most likely to happen” expectation I have for Mikami relationship stuff, haha.

[misssakurapetal28]

Here’s my idea/present to all Dappling and Rapple fans that I’ve working on ever since I was on vacation. Of course I could’ve done better on both the picture and the idea, but I did way better than I expected. So the picture explains my headcanons and ideas for a true finale of Ever After High, which involves around the 3 girls Apple White, Raven Queen and Darling Charming. If you would like to just enjoy the pictures, then just fav it and move along. I hope you like it:) 

However, if you would like to hear my ideas, then carry on to the cut.

@theotherbackgrounder  @love-that-eah @smolwonders @klaudioss @ankicacicero @teatime-with-maddie @kittycheshirehearts @frostbite883 @apple-cookie-white @white-queen-of-hearts @gaybellethorn @chatnoirs-baton @frostbite883

Just a couple of people that I know that might like this. Only when you guys have the time of course ;) 

Warning: It is VERY long, so just read CAREFULLY and tell me what you all think. You can disagree, but just do it tolerably. 

This picture is inspired by Revolutionary Girl Utena, Ever After High it’s self and the idea I had for a series finale for the EAH webseries. I know it’s very unlikely that any of this is going to happen at all, but this is just an idea that I thought of and wanted to share it with all of you. This idea would happen in a format which the viewer “chooses” their ending. Their are mainly 5 endings for this, but I only consider two of them as true endings. I imagine if it was on YouTube, then as the first part of the finale comes up, the video will link you to two videos. What are these so called “endings”? I’ll explain as I go along. Keep in mind some parts aren’t thought out completely yet, so if something seems off, forgive me.   

I imagine the last season being more plot focused, having a story that goes along till the end of the series. The story starts off with your basic usual things that you would see from the show. At some point (as a side story of some sort), if Darling really was proven to be Apple’s true prince, then I would think that they would eventually start hanging out together or dating. Raven and Dexter would also date too. However, I do imagine at some point, Raven and Dexter breaks up.

Maybe it could be because Dexter and Raven decided that they should break up because they wanted time to truly find their selves and what they want to do in the future. Either way for some reason, they do break up (for a short time based on what ending you choose). Ever since the break up, some unusual things have been happening in Ever After and it’s school (things like water fountains stop working, power flickering on and off until stopping completely, walls falling apart, floors cracking little by little, lockers unstable, objects with magic/power starts to disappear and cease to function etc). Students (including the main characters) are starting to notice these things, but what really worries them at one point is when the magic starts to act out of control and sooner or later, the magic just starts to disappear in general. Individuals with power like Raven, Farrah, Faybelle etc. still have their magic and powers, but it’s starting to get weaker and act out of control.

Of course the girls (and the boys too) are wondering what’s happening. Sooner or later they find out that Ever After and the school isn‘t the only places in the fairytale world that is experiencing this power/magic shortage. Other places like Wonderland are losing their magic too. Little did anyone know that there’s more meaning to this as one meets the eye. The Fairytale world is in great danger of perishing and can cease to exist.

There are actually two guardians, two dragons, two begins who protect the magic/power of the fairytale world and brings balance (these characters are my ocs). Yin (a boy) and Yang (a girl) work together in harmony to create this balance so the universe won’t fall apart. Some of the students (mainly Apple) went to them for answers (I imagine even Giles, The Evil Queen, or a whole different character telling them where the two are, considering that I think they would be veterans to these kind of things). Apple herself speaks to Yin and Yang. The reason why everything is falling apart now (and out of nowhere at that, despite the royal and rebel conflict being over) is because of Apple and Raven’s actions and the story book of legends being gone. Remember when Apple and Raven solved the “royal and rebel” conflict by taking the pages in the book and disappear them into the students so everyone will be giving the choice the follow destiny or not?

Well, it was not their choice to make. What they didn't know is that there's real consequences to changing the system like that. With them doing this, it damages the peace within the fairytale world, even if it’s slightly (slightly to the world can be a lot). Some of Yin and Yang’s magic was in the real story book of legends, which explains why things abrupt like it did. With it’s power being anyway damage, changed, destroyed or gone can be risky and dangerous.

Even though both Apple and Raven are very strong individuals compared to others, it still was’t enough to keep things stable. Another reason why things are falling apart is because the royal and rebel system didn’t fully perish after all. You see, Apple eventually found out about the kiss that Darling gave her (even though it was meant to be CPR), so Apple and Darling have been dating and seeing each other a little bit more before this to see how everything goes. However, Apple was still was worried about destiny...and Raven.

Would her destiny still be the same even if Darling was a girl? Would her destiny still be the same even without her and Daring be together? Is Darling her true “prince”? Will everything turn out fine between them or for themselves in general?

As for her thoughts with Raven, I like to think that Apple and Raven are very close, as friends or as anything more. She shows Raven support the best way she can, but deep down she worries for her best friend everyday. Raven has a kind soul, while also being a strong young woman. She would never want to lose her, under any circumstances. Could that even mean if she were to....be with someone else?

Like she said, she doesn’t want nothing bad to the people that she loves, including Raven. With all of these events happening all at once, things are starting to be abrupt, because of Apple and Raven changing the natural order of things and they both are wary of their destinies. With the storybook of legends gone and with people like Raven being hesitant about their destines, everything is hitting the rocks. Despite her doubts, Yang tells her for a fact that Darling IS following her destiny and is mostly likely her prince. However, Yang knows that something is bothering Apple. She asks her, “Is your destiny what you REALLY want?”.

Apple answers with telling her that of course it’s what she wants. She wants to be happy with her prince and live her happily ever after as the next Snow White, to be queen. However, Yang knows she feels like there’s apart of Apple that isn’t at ease, that she does want her happily ever after, but she just doesn’t know who she really wants it with or anybody at all. For Daring and herself to be told their whole life that he was meant to be her prince and for it to be told to be all wrong was troubling for her. And for her to find out that her true prince is proven to be a female no less?

At this point, Apple kind of fell into a hard place. Yang knows that Apple have a lot of important people in her life, but she believes that the person that can make her really happy, is Raven Queen. As friends, as anything more, even as friendenemies, there was always something. Apple tries to deny it, saying that her and Raven are just really close friends, nothing more. However, Yang isn’t buying it.

With everything they’ve been through together, the power and courage they shared and the future that they will create together (friends or more), she believes that they do have some kind of strong connection. Apple doesn’t know this, but regardless of who she ends up with in the end (even if she chooses neither), she has the power to change the fairytale world, along with Raven. Yang COULD be wrong, but she really feels this. If Apple wants to save everything, she herself has to make the choice of what she wants to happen.

Yang explains to her along the lines of:

“Darling is your true prince. She’s a loyal and courageous girl with a heart of gold, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend your life with her if you don't want to, even if it is destiny. I sense something between you and Raven for a long time, that there might be something strong between you two. I knew from the start of your lives that you two would be different from everyone else. However, regardless if you decide to be with Darling or Raven is entirely up to you. Regardless, you along with Raven will change the world someday. Breaking through destiny will be a challenge, but there’s nothing that I don’t think you nor Raven can’t handle. If you still don’t understand, let me ask you this: Do you want to be the princess that Darling saves? Or be the prince that saves Raven? In other words, do you want to follow your destiny or not? Regardless of what choice you make, just remember it is yours to make and no one else’s...”

Yin and Yang gives her the directions on what to do now. They want Apple and her friends to get a very special magical and powerful artifact from an abandoned place that no one has gone to for centuries (I figure it would be a lost/underground/buried castle of some sort). Only a true ruler can control this magical artifact, one of the most powerful items in the world, which is also connected to the fairytale world. If anyone were to possess it will gain great power. Regardless if the world changes for the good or bad is entirely up to the one who owns it. She wants Apple herself to claim it and turn it into a magical specter and use it to rule. Yang entrusts her with this artifact and thinks in the end, she will make the right choice.

Apple, Raven and their friends prepare to travel to find it, however I imagine that there might be an antagonist that would probably try to get it for their selves so they can rule the fairytale world. Maybe The Evil Queen, Faybelle (though I feel like she would care too much for the fairytale world to do this, even if she wants to be a villain) or a whole new different character? I even imagine more than one antagonist trying to get it since it’s such a powerful item and it probably can attract evil forces. However, I want to keep things simple.

Even with all that Yang said on Apple’s mind, the characters proceed to find this artifact to set things right and fix what’s been done, with the antagonist trying to inconvenience them of course. However, its nothing that the kids can’t handle. They’ve had worse (I would imagine one of them saying this and as for a source of humor, maybe would say something like “we had hair days worse than this” XD). With their skills, smarts and magic touches, they call handle just about anything (especially together). After traveling for a while (or using some kind of transporting spell maybe or use some kind of transportation), they managed to find the source of all the magic disappearing INSIDE the castle (convenient huh?).

There’s a “black hole” type plot device obstacle that’s been taking all the magic, but if the girls manage to get the artifact, then this black hole should close up and everything shall be restored. Easy right? Not quite. Despite their brave and their strong efforts, the villain got their little grubby hands on it. The world is starting to change to darkness and was getting even more corrupted than it was. Raven also tries to close the hole from the outside, but it doesn’t work. 

With no other option at this point (since the antagonist is invincible at this point), Raven comes with a very dangerous (but last and only other) idea: what if she tries to use her magic to close the hole from the inside? Things could still be damaged, but the hole would be stopped from causing anymore damage. Apple disagrees, trying to convince Raven that its too risky and they should just fight the enemy instead and take the artifact by force. She says that it’s their “destiny”. Raven wonders what she means by that, so with nothing to lose (and heated at the moment) Apple explains to Raven why all of this was happening in the first place and it’s their job to fix it.

With telling Raven everything, it did a bit more harm than good. Raven was so surprised...and distraught. EVERYTHING that she’s been fighting for, everything that she’s done to change destiny. All of it...was her fault. All she ever really tried to do is to break from destiny. All she wanted to do is change the ways for the beautiful, yet cruel fairytale world so everyone (including herself) can be happy. She deserved better than her destiny. Everyone did.

However, to her...it seems like all she really did was endangered everyone even more. Why did she have to open her mouth? Why couldn’t she just signed that book? Why? Well, she’s taking full responsibility now. If saving everyone meant that she would lose her freedom, her LIFE, then shall be it...

Apple tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen. She’s made up her mind. She said her goodbyes to everyone and told them that she was sorry for everything, especially to Apple, one of her dear friends. She charged, going into the black hole filled with darkness and tainted magic and power, trying to close it from the inside. Apple wants to go in with Raven, to save her, to prove that there’s another way, to prove that they can defeat the evil queen together, but someone grabs on tightly to her arm, stopping her from doing it. It was her prince, Darling.

She told her there WAS another way, but not....this way. By going after Raven, she’s putting her own life in danger. Darling cares for Raven too. She’s her friend and she would jump in after her instead of anyone else, but she knew it was too risky, too dangerous, especially for a being without the kind of powers that Raven had. She had to think smart here for the world, for everyone, for her princess...

Darling tells Apple that she’s here for her, that they can stop the villain together and save Raven when they get the artifact. Darling tells Apple that she deeply loves and cares about her and she will always be on her side no matter what. She will protect her. Apple does take her idea and words in consideration, however she still worries about Raven. She feels that if she can save Raven, then Apple can talk some sense into her and they can both defeat the enemy and restore what’s been lost. At that moment, Apple remembers everything that Yang told her. Is this that moment?

Is this the moment where she has no choice but to chose her destiny and to decide who she loves the most of them all? As she thinks, I imagine two videos (or 5 if you would count my other ending ideas) that will link the viewer to what ending they desired. Here are the endings:

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Choose Darling (Apple chooses to be Darling’s princess, official ending 1)

If this is chosen, then Apple will go with Darling. She will look into Darling’s eyes with a smile. They hold hands and along with the other students, they go to find the villain so they can save Raven and the world. Apple and Darling approach the villain who was outside, with the students in the background, ready to fight back, ready to save their school, their home, their world. The villain scoffed and sends a evil blast at them. Darling takes action while Apple watches in surprise and fear, wondering what’s going to happen next.

Darling lodges at the enemy with her sword, but they stop it. She tries to use her magic touch also (when she tosses her hair, time will slow down), but it was only a little effective. The enemy was too powerful. The battle went on for minutes which seems like hours. Darling lodges at them, trying to get them once more.

However, not only she misses, but she’s hit. Apple yells for Darling, feeling that she might got seriously hurt. Dexter and Daring also yelled for her. The enemy throws back an injured Darling. who’s in quite some pain right now. They say something along the lines like “Foolish naïve child, did you honestly think you would be the prince of the story? You can’t even aim right!”. However, even in pain, Darling says with a smile “I wasn’t aiming at you...dummy.” What they didn’t know is that Darling hit an already weakened support beam behind them, causing the ruble above it to clasp onto them.

With some time to get the artifact, Apple gets up and runs...to Darling. She went to help Darling up and get her to safety first. No one she cared about was going to die today, as so she thought. She picks Darling up in her arms and asks her if she was ok. Darling struggled to get her words out, but she response with a meek “I’m fine”.

Apple slightly chastise Darling for doing such a thing and risking her life for her. Some tears form in Apple’s eyes, worried about Darling’s heath. Darling apologizes to Apple for making her worry. Darling puts her hand on Apple’s cheek. She wanted to stay with Darling, but she knew things weren’t over.

She leaves the students (mostly her brothers and Holly) to watch over her while she gets to artifact, but the villain is already out of the ruble. Even if they was still a little damage from Darling’s damage and the ruble that fell on them, they nearly almost got the artifact. They was sure that they was going to get it, however Faybelle shoots passed Apple and gets it by the last bit of her powers. She blasts her bolts into the villains face and grabs the artifact, with the villain landing down on the hard ground. The guys tie them up so they won’t move.

Milton and some of the school staff (main ones like Giles, Baba Yaga etc.) manage to come at the last minute once they found out where the kids were going. Of course Milton lectures them and tells them what they did was really dangerous and they could have gotten seriously hurt (with Darling hurt, that’s just resting his case). Giles however understood the kids intentions and convinces him to forgive them and understand where they was coming form.

Milton calmed down and all of the adults tried to listen and understand what is going on. Apple told them and while a bit baffled, they realized that it wasn’t over yet. They have to restore everything and save Raven. Apple wants the artifact, but...Faybelle has it. Everyone looks at Faybelle, knowing that it’s most likely that she won’t give it back. Apple begs for Faybelle to give it to her, so she can restore the worlds magic, everything can go back to normal and they can save Raven.

Faybelle is hesitant, thinking by having this, she can be the most baddest powerful fairy of them all. She can finally live up to what she wanted to be. However, should she really do this? She might deprive of the world of the power, magic and strength it needs to heal. Was it really her power to have? Despite wanting this power, she knew she wanted everything to go back to normal again even more. So, she does the right thing and gives Apple the artifact.

The artifact glows with Apple’s touch and transforms into a golden scepter with artifact (which was a shiny red jewel) in the middle. With her scepter, she changes everything back to normal. After that, everyone goes to save Raven. Apple uses the scepter to reverse the black hole, so everything that went into it was brought back, including Raven. Raven was unconscious.

Apple was about to approach her, but Dexter ran past her and came to Raven’s aid. Dexter was the first person that Raven saw when she opened her eyes. Dexter asks if she was ok and tells her what happened. Before Raven can really answer, he hugs her. In the end, everyone went back to Ever After High.

Since everything was back to normal, a week later, there was big celebration that took place in the evening time to night time. All the students (even some civilians from books end and from some other words). Apple and Darling danced the night away (Darling was healed and better at this point). Apple and Darling basically danced and waltz ever since the celebration started. They was happy and having a lot of fun together.

While dancing, it dawned on Apple that Raven and her didn’t talk since that morning. Apple tells Darling that she will get back with her, she just wanted to talk with Raven for a bit. She feels like there was still some “unfinished business” left over. Darling understood, since somethings still need to be solved. With Darling giving her a kiss (lips, cheek, hand, forehead, whatever works for you or the story), Apple separates from her slowly by hand with a smile and goes to find Raven.

She asked around to see where she could find her. She asked around to see where she could find her. She asked Cupid (who didn’t know where she was), she asked Daring (who was dancing with Rosabella) and she even asked Bunny (who was dancing with Alistair). Though it didn’t help much, they did say that the last they saw her, she was with Dex. She finally finds her, off from the party with Dexter.

She seems a bit better and it seems like she and Dexter were happy, talking with each other, even laughing happily. She did thought about leaving her alone, but Raven cached her at the corner of her eye before she left. Raven called out to her and she turned around. She walked over and asked both Raven and Dexter if everything was ok. They both say yes and Apple asked Dexter if she could talk to Raven alone for a minute. Dexter says yes and he walks away, giving the two some space. Raven and Apple finally get down to talking.

To make it short, Raven thanks Apple for saving her and she’s glad that things worked out for her and Darling, and her newly found power. Apple agrees, but she still wonders if she’s cut out for having this power and the throne. Raven does think it’s kind of unlike Apple to doubt herself so easily, but Raven tells her that she will be a wonderful queen. Raven mentions to Apple that her and Dexter have been spending time with each other all week and was thinking about getting back together with him. Raven even asks Apple about her Darling.

Apple tells Raven that her and Darling are having a great night together, but she just wanted to take a break and talk to her. Raven gave her a baffled look, wondering what she wanted to tell her. Apple tells Raven that she is one of her most dearest friends in the world and nothing is going to change that. She wishes Raven luck with Dexter and tells her that if there was anything that she needed her for, ask her anytime. Raven pauses for a few seconds, then smiles and embraces Apple, with Apple returning it.

Apple tells Raven that no matter what happens, they will always be best friends and Raven agrees. 

In the end, time fast forward to years later, where Apple White is queen. In the halls of her kingdom shows many windows and frames with pictures on them. One showed Apple and Raven, both are now queens to their respective kingdoms. One shows Apple, happily together with her prince, Darling. One shows them with their adoptive daughter, Dearest Charming-White. There are plenty more, but it’s up to you to think about the rest ;) The story ends with Dearest looking at the windows, with her mother Apple calling her.

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Chose Raven (Apple chooses to be Raven’s prince, official ending 2):

If this is chosen, then Apple will go after Raven. She will take one last look at Darling, with Darling staring back at her. Apple apologizes to Darling and tries to break out of Darling’s hold. Darling tries to tell Apple that it’s too dangerous, that she could be lost forever, but Apple says she can’t let Raven go. That she needs her. Despite Darling’s protest, she realizes that she can’t stop her at this point. Darling lets Apple go, telling her that she trusts her. Apple gives Darling a very humble thank you. With that, she charges and jumps into the black hole, going after Raven, with a sad and wary looking Darling watching her...

Inside the black hole, it’s very dark and windy. It’s like a black never stopping ocean that sucks you up and takes all your magic, making you weak. Apple was a bit horrified, looking at all the tainted magic and objects that is in the hole, but she had to hocus focus. Apple “swims” forward into the hole, trying to find Raven, however with every stroke she toke, she got weaker and weaker for some reason. Could this be the black hole draining her energy? Everything was going black, until the point where she stopped “swimming” and everything was completely black...

Everything goes bright again. Apple sees a little girl, running freely in the world of Ever After. She has blond curly hair, blue eyes and is wearing a pretty red dress. It’s Apple herself, a younger Apple. Is this a illusion? A dream? Maybe it’s a flashback?

Apple literally saw her life before her eyes, watching her young self and all her struggles, all she learned. For most of her life, she was told that she was destined to follow her mother’s foot steps, be the next Snow White. The Evil Queen (Raven) gives her the poison apple, it puts her to sleep, her prince charming (Daring) comes, gives her a kiss and it’s happily ever after. Maybe her reasons for wanting everyone to follow destiny isn’t so selfish after all? That’s what she wanted...until Raven made a stand on Legacy Day.

Apple then saw flashbacks of all of what her and Raven been through. To Raven wanting to finally sign the storybook of legends, to finding it and destroying it for everyone to have a choice, to fighting for everyone to have a destiny, regardless of who you are or who your parents were. It was like yesterday that they didn’t see eye to eye, feuding over destiny and the next day it’s almost like they couldn’t imagine their lives without each other. They certainly went through thick and thin together.

From childhood to now, even after what her and Raven caused, is going off script entirely bad? Could this battle for freedom ever end? Could she still have her happily ever after, even if it isn’t exactly the same? Apple realizes that no matter what happens, Yang is right. Her future is hers to make, regardless if it changes some things or not.

She can still be a royal and have what she wants. She knows what she wants now and what she needs. Apple opens her eyes, determined as ever! She uses all her strength to swim through the endless abyss of the black hole. She finally saw Raven, but...her eyes were closed and she wasn’t moving...

Apple tried to shoutout for Raven, but it didn’t work. She swam to her and grabbed her hands, pulling her close to her. The black hole was most likely too much, even for Raven. The black hole did a lot of damage from the outside, just think how it would effect anything from the inside. She shook Raven, calling out her name, trying to wake her up, but nothing worked.

Apple could barley tell if she was breathing or not. Apple fears it might be too late. No, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t be the end. Apple bring Raven in for an tight embrace, with their foreheads touching.  She starts to slightly shiver and a tear comes from her right eye, trying not let the tears or whimpers come out, but it was hard.

As they both are in the darkness of the black hole, her tear hits Raven’s face. All the sudden, Raven starts to glow and she wakes up from her sleep (it could be a coma or death, your choice). Apple felt so many feelings at that moment. Happy, relieved, surprised, angry, confused, so many. Apple quickly hugs Raven and tells her how happy she is to see Raven awake.

The situation starts to come back to Raven, including what she did. Raven is once again distraught, still feeling guilty about what she did. She thought it was even worse that she bought Apple into it, especially since she was the one who wanted to follow destiny in the first place. Apple tells Raven to stop it and tells her to quit lying to herself. She was telling her that she had the right intentions and that everyone had the right to be happy. That’s something she wished she would had learn sooner instead of lying to herself also.

Apple tells Raven from the bottom of her heart that it’s ok to flip the script, that it’s ok to be something else. They both might be the daughters of a fairytale characters, but what they decided to do with the position is entirely their choice. Apple says that she believes that she can make things right, but she needs Raven to be by her side to do so. They can still make things right. Raven tells Apple that she is really an amazing person, because she grew so much from where they began. Perhaps you could say, she was the fairest of them all?

With all the energy that they had left, they both pull each other in a warm and tight embrace. Apple tells Raven that she loved her and Raven respond with a “I love you too, Apple”. Just then, there was another glow and afterwards they both felt stronger than they did. They were surprised, even baffled, but even so they was most glad. Raven had enough strength to teleport both her and Apple out of that hole.

When the two transported out of the black hole, half of the students were there waiting for them, with Briar, Maddie and Faybelle in front. Maddie hugs Raven in relief while Briar does the same with Apple, then placing a hand on her shoulder asking her if she was ok. Both let the girls know that they was fine. A little shaken up, but fine. Wanting the info on what’s happening, Apple and Raven ask and Briar told them some bad news.

The staff arrived while they was in the black hole. They tried to stop the enemy and get the artifact away from them, but they end up kidnapping them and now their hold hostage, Apple and Raven (along with the others) got outside as fast as they can only to see everything in chaos, the others including the enemy outside, with the staff members being in red bubbles. Dexter and Daring was catering to their injured sister, Darling. Apple crouches down to their level, asking if they was all ok. Dexter and Daring said they was fine, but Dexter explains that Darling was hurt because she tried to go up against the enemy to protect the students. Furious and tired now, Apple and Raven demands the villain to let the staff go, but of course they refused.

A powerful blast from the enemy headed towards them, but Raven made a magical force field to shield her and Apple, only for it to be destroyed and both of them flew back. Apple found it hard to get up, but she mostly managed. She wanted to ask Raven if she was ok, but before she could Raven already had gotten up and used her powerful blast to take her enemy down, but the enemy send an even more powerful blast back. However, Raven dodged it. The battle went on for a few minutes, which seemed like hours. With every blast and defense Raven conjured up, she got weaker and weaker.

Both Raven and the villain send blasts at each other which collided with each other, creating big sparks. The tension raised as both of them tried all their might to take the other down (with Raven having to try a bit harder). Raven tried her best, but the enemy blast ending up triumphing over her and her blast. Raven was hit and landed on the ground with a big thud. Apple and the other students ran towards the girl, attending to her aid.

Apple picks up Raven into her arms, worried about her health. Raven tells them that the enemy is too strong and she thinks that she can’t defeat them. She apologizes to her fellow schoolmates, saying that it's all her fault. If it wasn’t for her and her stupid rebellion, then none of this would be happening. Raven’s eyes started to water as everyone including herself saw as everything around them was getting worse by the minute.

Hope seemed like it was lost, until Apple had a plan. Her and the students huddled up to listen to her plan and a few minutes later, approached the enemy. Milton shouted at the students, trying to tell them that it’s too risky, but to students ignored his warning. Within a few seconds, the students charged, with magical individuals like Faybelle, Farrah etc blasting at the enemy head on. Other powerless students threw things like rocks, sticks, different kinds of objects at the villain. Ramona and Cerise even tried to get a go at them, but even after all of that, nothing worked and the villain blew all of them off as it was child’s play. 

However, just then, something from behind them grabbed the artifact. It’s was Briar! That would only mean that the students did all of that just to stall the villain, while Kitty teleported Briar behind them! Briar ran pass them, but just as she was almost to Apple and Raven, the villain tripped her and the artifact went flying. Everyone had their eyes on it as they saw it flew across the sky.

Just then, Apple sprung into action and ran to grab the artifact, while the villain did the same. Both fans as fast as they could and end up jumping for it. Before it this the ground, a hand catches it. It was Apple’s hand. A big burst of energy send the villain flying.

Apple’s serious looks slowly disappears and it turns into a relieved look. Everyone cheered and gathered around Apple and Raven cheering with victory. Raven had a mix of dread and happiness on her face while looking at Apple. Apple smiles while holding the artifact in the air. The artifact glows and transforms into a golden scepter with artifact (which was a shiny red jewel) in the middle.

Apple once again looks at Raven, walking closer to her as Raven took one step back. There was a long pause, but Apple reached her hand out to Raven. Raven was hesitant at first, but Apple says something among the lines of “Raven, please. It’s like I said, I want to make things right, but need you by my side to do so”. Raven disagrees, saying that Apple is just as strong as her on her own. Apple agrees, but she has no more regrets.

She wants Raven to help. She wants her to be by her side. She...no...they both deserved it. It took a little convincing, but Raven took Apple’s hand, then grabbed the scepter along with her. With her scepter, the two girls change everything back to normal.

The black hole was reversed, so everything that went into it was brought back, including all the power, magic and objects. The staff was released. Milton was a bit pissed, since the students went off, however Giles helped him see what the students tried to do. Milton understands and congratulates them on a job well done. In the end, everyone went back to Ever After High. 

Since everything was back to normal, about 5 days later, there was big celebration that took place from evening to night. Apple was talking with her mother, Milton and Giles about the party and congratulate her on a job well done. When Apple was finished talking with the adults and went to attend back to the party, Darling approaches her with a hi (she seemed better from her injury). Apple and Darling talks about the events that happened before and Apple thanks Darling for being a true knight and protecting everyone.

She also apologized to her for going on her own to save Raven. Even though she doesn’t regret saving her, maybe she should have found another way. Darling doesn’t forgive her, because there’s nothing to forgive. It was risky, but Darling said she understands why she did and she was doing what she thought was right. Apple thanks Darling for all her kindness and loyalty and that she will always be one of her dearest friends.

Though even her heart sunk a little bit, Darling was happy anyways and understood. Apple hugs Darling, with Darling hugging her back. With that, Darling continues off to the party, meeting up with Daring, Rosabella and Holly. As she was walking and thinking to herself, it just dawned on her that Raven and her didn’t talk since that morning. She still feels like there was some “unfinished business” left over. 

She asked around to see where she could find her. She asked Maddie (who didn’t know where she was), she asked Ashylnn (who was dancing with Hunter of course) and she asked Briar (who was dancing with Hopper). Though it didn’t help much, they did say the last they saw her, she was with Dex. She finally finds her, off from the party with Dexter like the others said. She was talking with Dex. 

She seems a bit better and it seems like her and Dex are talking about something important. She did thought about leaving her alone, but Raven cached her of the corner of her eye before she left. Raven called out to her and she turned around. She walked over and asked both Raven and Dexter if everything was ok and if they was having a good time. They both responded yes and Apple asked Dexter if she could talk to Raven alone for a minute.

Dexter says yes and he walks away, giving the two some space. Raven and Apple finally get down to talking. To make it short, Raven thanks Apple for saving her and she’s glad that things worked out for her and her newly found power. Apple agrees, but she still wonders if she’s cut out for having this power and the throne. Raven does think it’s kind of unlike Apple to doubt herself so easily, but Raven tells that she will be a wonderful queen.

Raven mentions to Apple that her and Dex broke it off, for good. Acting oblivious about it, she asks why she broke things off with Dex. She told her that she was pretty sure that they was meant for each other. Raven wasn’t too sure herself, but she told Apple that it might be because she actually had feelings for someone else. 

She tells Apple that she will always care for and love Dexter, but she wasn’t in love with him, not anymore it seems. Apple knew that Raven was taking about her and she felt the same way, but she knew it wasn’t that easy to admit at this point. She was nervous, but her and Raven continued to talk. Apple wasn’t going to tell Raven how she felt, until they both bring up Raven’s close death experience. Apple realized that she there where times that she almost lost Raven.

She (along with her other love ones) almost went poof, she almost lost her to Courtly, almost lost her to destiny, to darkness, she even almost lost her a few days ago. Apple wasn’t about to stand around and let Raven fight alone anyone and vice-versa. She cared about her too much for these things to happen to her. Even if she knew that she can’t stop everything, she can still at least try. She loved her too much for these things to happen to her. Yes, she loved Raven Queen.

The person that was meant to be the villain of her story, she actually was in love with her. Now she turned into one of the most important people in Apple’s life. Not because of story, not because of destiny, but because she loved her and wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. She wanted her happily ever after with Raven Queen. Apple (nervously, but confidently) told Raven her true feelings about her and told her that she never wants to lose her. Even though Raven was sort of speechless, she blushed and smiled, telling Apple that she felt the same way. Raven gives Apple a kiss (lips, cheek, hand, forehead, whatever works for you or the story). Apple was nervous about what was going to happen in their future together, but both her and Raven knew that what ever comes their way, they will face it together.

Apple tells Raven that no matter what happens, they will always be together forever after and Raven agrees. They hold hands, looking up at the night sky...

In the end, time fast forward to years later, where Apple White is queen. In the halls of her kingdom shows many windows and frames with pictures on them. One showed Apple and Raven, both are now Queens of their kingdom, holding hands. One shows royally ever after Apple White with her royal magical scepter. One shows Apple and Raven with their biological daughter, Dove White-Queen (the reason why she is their biological daughter is because she was created by magic). There are plenty more, but it’s up to you to think about the rest ;) The story ends with Dove looking at the windows, with her mother Apple calling her.

-

Well those are the main endings. There are 3 endings that I thought about, but doesn’t have much of a story to it like the others. There’s the Chose Alone Ending, where Apple doesn’t know what to do. I imagine in this ending, all the pressure was too much for Apple and she breaks. To make things different in each ending, maybe Darling can be the one to save Raven and get her out? Or she gets trapped in along with Raven?

The students could end up saving the day similar in the Choose Raven Ending, but instead of Apple getting the artifact, I imagine the adults (mainly Milton) holding on to it for safe keeping. Things could take a turn for the worst and Darling and Raven could be lost in the black hole until someone gets them out (It could be a few minutes or a very long time). Apple of course feels guilty because she wasn’t able to save neither Darling or Raven, two people that was important to her. There was no celebration and some people might see Apple in a different light.

I imagine Apple even continuing to attend school, leaves the school and goes home to her mom, or she just runs away in general, feeling that she let everyone down. No one hears from her or knows where she went if that was the case.

For the 4th ending (Chose Both Ending), I imagine Apple wanting to stay with Darling, but still wanted to save Raven. With convincing, Darling goes with Apple into the black hole to save Raven. Rexter probably would be canon, but neither Dappling or Rapple are. Apple sees both of them only as close friends. She even becomes queen and says single or she becomes queen and marries a completely different person.

Bad Road (possible, but unofficial ending 5) would be almost a combination of the Choose Darling Ending and Chose Alone Ending. What if Apple really had no interest in Raven at all? What if all of this pressure strains her and Raven’s close bond? What if Raven really did love Apple and due to Apple being distant with her and supporting everyone following their destiny, she feels heartbroken?

What if she felt lost and fell into depression or something similar to that? What IF all the students (probably even all of Ever After) saw what going off script can do to the world, maybe everyone could be scared of all of the destruction happening again, that their society is even more strict with destiny now? So not only Raven lost Apple, but lost mostly all the supporters that she had (while Raven having the mentality of all of this being her fault in the first place).

If this ending happened, that would mean that all of Raven’s efforts were pointless from the start, all for nothing. Eventually, one day, Raven does end up as the evil queen due to falling into despair. I also would think that her mother’s influence would have something to do with it. One day, Raven poisons Apple and kidnaps her. However, she didn’t do this because she’s bitter of Apple now, but she feels that if she couldn’t have Apple as Raven Queen, then she could have her as The Evil Queen. What happens after this? It’s up to your imaginations...

Well, it was a lot of thinking and writing, but here’s all my ending ideas. Sorry if some parts seem biased ^^; I tried really hard to give both pairings the same treatment and give the endings it’s own individuality.  You see, the reason why Apple and Raven seems to be close even in the Darling ending is because I really think that regardless, Apple and Raven are close, friends or more. It’s not because I really love Rapple (even though I ship that over any canon or non-canon couple in the series), it’s because their considered best friends now. However, I am starting to slowly like Dappling and Rexter since I’ve been spending more time with it.

Anyways, I’I hope you guys like it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. 

[kendrixtermina]

Extra Typology Vol #1 - Hybrid Types

One aspect of the 12gram/ Essence type system is that it thinks of the types less as a disjoint characterization and more as “energies” or “seasonings” that we all have in us and can take aspects from, like when you’re at a buffet and fill your plate to varying degrees with the available food - We can all embody multiple archetypes, even if some describe us very well.

In this system, you’re just as likely (which is where one popular varian gets it 12 types from where there are only 6 basic ones (it doesn’t include solar) - it gives them an order on the enneagram symbol & then describes 12 in-between types)

- Some people even give percentages.

I won’t go on to give all hybrid types detailed descriptions because they’re literally just “a little like this and a little like that” , IMHO it’s perfectly enough to just describe the 7 basic types*, and then you can say “I have these characteristic from that type and those characteristics from another.”

Besides, the sources tend to disagree on what exactly the hybri types are like, for some of them, I read rather different ccounts - ; There just isn’t observation for both funtional & non- functional all particular combinations as the system isn’t widely used, and as there is wide gradation (few are exactly 50/50) there’s probably many ways a combination will go. 

As the author (themselves reportedly an emotionally-centered Jupiter type) was an instructor at a college & got plenty of opportunity of observing & typing plenty of people, their observations are likely to be of at least some value so I’ll list some of them without going into huge detail. 

 *(or 6. or 8. Or 10. Depending on which version you’re using. Always more a splitter than a lumper, I usually lean toward the maximum number of classifications while of course recognizing similar chracteristics)

One good observation that the book has is that this is structured & performing functions, like, a person isn’t perfectly or randomly acting like one or the other, but, sometimes, depending on the situation, time and context, they will react like one, and sometimes, like the other.

Generally, Hybrid types are just as likely to be more balanced as more conflicted. 

So, without further ado: 

Hybrid Type observations

Lunar-Venus - Sort of the archetypical “sweet/nice girl” or guy, kinda lowkey, very picky about mates, believing that they will find the right one & in the meantime happy with themselves, your “social” introvert who can be warm, but can also be prrivate, self-sufficient, and tolerate solitude. Can be both sweet and level-headed in crisis. Unlike either component type, they are good at creating pleasant environments, ability to accept others without being dependent on then - vaguely ISFx-ish. Other descriptions I’ve read were more vulnerable and less stable-sounding and more in the direction of sp 2. in which the Venus is the 2 and the lunar is the sp.

Venus-Mercury - Seems to experience less conflict that other types and does well in life as they can both chill & work hard. Experiences an ebbing & flowing of energy. Experiences a great range of behavior & can thus baffle people - chill one moment, high-strung another. Their relationships are often brief & explosive.  This could be a contact subtype ESTJ or 3 ESFJ or any ESxx with a chill side.

Mercury-Saturn - The most elegant/ fabulous of the types. Combines the energy  & productivity of the Mercury with the Saturn’s deep thought and foresight.  Often have a somewhat regal, aloof, lowkey aristocratic act, perhaps a tad haughty. Archetypical Supervillain though usually not villainous, though they do hide their plans lest they encounter opposition. Actually quite considerate through the benevolence of the Saturn & the perceptiveness of the Mercury-  Seems roughly like a NTJ in touch with their Se (like the two individuals I know IRL. Both can be distinguished from a pure Saturn by a lowkey mischieviousness) but could just as easily be a logical subtype xSTx.  

Saturn-Mars - A rugged ‘doer’ type of figure. Combines the two most active types and both organizational and driven, goal-oriented activity.  Archetypical melancholy cowboy, but also finds a different expression in your typical Lady Politician and indeed politics in general. According to the author , they are also often PE teachers or coaches. Think Angela Merkel - The Martial is obvious as she is a centrist, but she’s way less actionistic & more reserved than your average politician, and actually wrote her Doctoral Thesis on Quantum chemistry. Again seems like a flavor of xSTx. 

Mars-Jupiter - Described as someone willing to use force to help people/better society, ie. perhaps an activist or politician, but the book mostly goes with a darker take on this one, asserting that it’s common in Dictators. Combines the Jovial facility with language or ideas withe Martial drive & high energy. Hs a definite idea of what people ought to be doing. Can be drawn to teaching or be strict matron type if female. May experience conflict between desire for warmth & human connection and their own temper and driven nature.  This seems to be comparable to an ENxx type with one of the more “forceful” 9gram types.

Jupiter-Lunar - Likely to experience a lot of conflict or contrast between flashy, warm gregarious Jovial and cool, careful, introverted Lunar. Tends to be pretty conservative or low key in choice of possesions & clothes but secretly own a few treasured “flashy” items they may or may not actually wear. Self-sufficient type who might form a few close relationships or live alone without great trouble. Has both depht of thought & benevolence combined with skill for concentration and attention to detail. Social introvert that might surprise people with their other side. 

Solar- Lunar - Combines both idealistic and practical traits. The Lunar’s negative perceptions soften the Solar’s naivité, whose positivity & enthusaiasm soften the Lunar’s morose introspection. A more realistic sort of visionary who can also plan for negative outcomes  and do the necessary slow handiwork- “Expect the worst & hope for the best”, often a sorta frail, clumsy-looking person who is nonetheless possesed of great drive & skill (This seems to asure a more practical, Si-ish kind of Lunar tho; They can be idealistic/escapistic & feel out of place/sensitive too so the result might be different if those qualities amplified each other, as I’ve read in other descriptions)

In the case of Solar-Mercury and Solar-Mars individuals, the Solar element will further increase their high energy levels and persistence to unreal levels, though the relentless activity of either mercury or Mars might also exascerbate the Solar tendency to burn oneself out, and the Solar naivité can combine with the other type’s predisposed flaws to cause lots of havoc without being aware of it, particularly in the case of the Martial destructiveness.

Combined with another positive type, such as Venus, Saturn and Jupiter, there will be an excascerbatin rather than a mitigation of the tendency to see the only the positive. 

Solar-Jovials might be somewhat flighty social butterflies who are charming & fun but lack common sense. They might be self-indulgent, immature and suceptible to get rich quick shemes and the like and be lacking in work discipline. They’ll think the best of everyone, including people who... aren’t. 

Solar-Venusians might be a bit more balanced as the Solar activity might mitigate the Vinusian inactivity. This is someone who functions in both coarse/earthy/ wordly spheres as well as idealistic/ethereal/refined ones, and the venusian receptiveness & warmth might offset the Solar feeling of lofty isolation - however, this is still likely to be a gullible, easily-influenced person.

In case of the Solar-Saturn, the Saturn energy brings a erious, weighty attitude that the Solar lacks, as well as the ability to plan for difficulty. You’re likely to get a very deep, dedicated person who is formidable at accomplishing their goals, and no goal is too vast for their vision, especially if there’s also a tinge of Mars in their makeup.

[anonarat]

Witch Blood Chapters 8, 9 & Interlude

Chapter 8 - Earth and Clay

 Caprice was still adjusting to the addition of Yvae so directly into her life. The added steps to make sure the bathroom was free, and seeing someone in her receiving room uninvited. Not that the whole situation was bad. It was rather nice having someone her own age for company in her own home, even if Yvae was busy meeting with many of the other noble bloods.

 However, today, she was going hunting. It wasn’t exactly a metaphor she appreciated, she didn’t like seeing others as prey, but it was an accurate description of what she had planned. It might not be making an actual kill today, but the whole purpose of the exercise she was about to embark on was to find a blooded who would be easy to kill.

 Even though she had been the one who proposed the idea to Prudence, it still coiled around her mind nastily. She still hated the necessity of killing others. Caprice ran her fingers over her charms as she lay in bed. They brought back memories of those she had killed before, and she loathed that part of herself.

 Standing up to Prudence would do her no good in the long term. Never once had she known a spirit to act directly against the best interests of the one they were bound to. In the past, all the spirit bound had been successful, often mastering the abilities of their blood much earlier than their peers. Stalling the use of her abilities for so long meant she was nowhere near the level she should have been, and yet that was probably for the best.

 The morning light aggressively shone through her curtains, urging her to action, yet Caprice just wanted to stay in bed. The longer she stayed abed, the longer it would be until she began her excursion, the longer before she tried to kill again. Maybe if she stayed there for long enough, it would be too late to set out. If that were to happen, then she would simply have to wait until the next day. Then tomorrow, the same would happen again, eternally putting it off. It would be an exquisite torture, knowing and dreading what she needed to do, yet always delaying the horror.

 Get up child.

 It seemed as though Prudence had reached the limit of what he could tolerate from her. Caprice groaned in response, but threw her covers to the side. A quick glance in the mirror told her that she looked frightful.

 Sleep had been growing harder, and unremembered nightmares had begun to plague her. It was miserable. Grabbing the bell to summon Malevolent a quick ring, Caprice dragged herself up to standing. Not quite ready to face the day, but it would have to do.

~~~

 Caprice quickly checked her saddle bags, reassuring herself that she had her lunch. And her knife. Satisfied, she got on the mounting block and used it to help her get on the back of Placidity, her horse. Mounted side saddle, Caprice gave him a quick pat on the neck, before leading him into a walk out of her family stables.

 The plan was relatively straightforward. So far she had used the cover of darkness to cover her as she made her kills. Today, the plan was to use the lack of people nearby to potentially kill a victim safely, out of sight. There were plenty of fields a short ways from the capital, and they held many meandering paths, which were scarcely travelled. Perfect for killing someone without others noticing.

 Despite this, Caprice had resolved that unless she had proof that a person was blooded she would not attack. After the first, and hopefully only time she had killed an unblooded, she swore she would not kill another if she could help it. There was no benefit to their deaths.

 It felt so very callous, thinking of people in terms of benefits, but if she was to have a hope of preventing whatever the predicted calamity was, Caprice needed all the power she could get.

 Even as she led Placidity through town, Caprice took note of people who might be low bloods. Memorizing locations where people of various low bloods might congregate, forges, jewellers and potters and the like. It would be almost pointless trying to remember individuals in a city the size of the capital unless she could associate them with a location.

 The quotidian hum of life being lived surrounded her as she picked her way through the streets. As a noble, already she was far removed from these people, but looking at them and wondering if they might further her strength made Caprice truly feel apart. A lone boat, trawling through the ocean. Isolated and without friends.

 She wasn’t even sure if she deserved friends. All the queendom would think her a monster if they knew what she was. At that moment, she was inclined to agree with them. What else could a being that preyed on human life be called.

 Stop that child, Prudence interrupted, making Caprice glad that Placidity lived up to his name rather than railing against it. Taking a few seconds, Caprice made sure that they weren’t in any imminent danger before she countered.

 What would you have me call myself then? Saviour? I have killed people. Innocent people. And what? You expect me to ignore mine own actions?

 Prudence didn’t respond immediately, likely because distracting a rider was a good way to get the rider thrown. If Caprice fell, he’d be coming for the ride. Unfortunately silence, that let her start to get sucked into the miasma of her negative thoughts. It wasn’t until she entered into the outskirts of the capital that he tried speaking again.

 Your thoughts are still tainted. While you may not think it, you will be a saviour to all of these people.

 Except the ones who are dead.

 Sacrifices must be made Caprice. Rarely is something truly saved without bloodshed. The greater the thing protected, the more that must be spent.

 Yet I am killing the very people I am supposed to save, said Caprice, before forcibly returning her concentration to the road so that she could check that she wasn’t endangering herself or anyone else with her argument.

 No. You are saving Lach. You aren’t saving individuals, you’re saving a country. Thinking otherwise will send you towards madness, leaving you worse off than if you had never even tried.

 I feel as though I already have one foot in madness, Prudence. What sane person kills people?

 The Queen and nobility make decisions that kill others every day. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. One hopes that those decisions will save many more than they kill though. You are just taking a more active role than sitting in a room and deciding a change in law.

 That is dangerously close to treason, said Caprice, and in response, she got the mental equivalent of a spontaneous laugh from Prudence.

 Oh child, I’m fairly certain that I can’t commit treason. You might not want to tell others that though.

 Whyever not? asked Caprice, clearly meaning both statements.

 By the time you are done your duties, I hope the answer to the first statement will be clear. As for the second, telling people that your spirit said something that those people consider treason is probably a bad idea.

 Fair point. Though could you be a bit less cryptic about your first statement?

 I’m afraid I don’t think you’re ready. You’re intelligent enough to take my previous answer and my true answer and come to a conclusion you are not prepared for.

 That answer left Caprice frowning in her saddle, concerned about what Prudence’s true answer to that question was, and what it might mean for her to have to do in the future.

~~~

 The day was pleasant enough for a ride, just at the cusp of the turning season, neither too hot nor too cold. A gentle breeze rustled the ears of corn on either side of the path that Caprice had wandered down. There was the smell of growth. And fertilizer, she could do without that.

 Truth be told, Caprice felt a little foolish. As heir to House von Eisel, and effectively unblooded, she would make an excellent bargaining tool, or kill. Of course, if that happened, then she had her charms, but no one else knew about them, hardly making them a deterrent. If she was attacked, then one of her attackers might get away, and then she would be in real bother. No doubt if Treachery heard about this trip, she’d likely get an earful about going about without guards.

 There had been a few farmers tending to their fields, but none seemed to really exhibit any of the traditional signs of a noble blood. Perhaps she was being too stringent with what she considered to be qualifying, but she didn’t want to leave a trail of bodies across the countryside. That would cause more issues than it was no doubt worth.

 As she wound around one of the turns in the track, she saw a person heading in the same direction as her, though at a slower pace. Seeing him, she gently encouraged Placidity to pick up the pace. A plan forming in her mind.

 That’s not the best of plans. What if he remembers your question?

 I’m not going to kill him Prudence, Caprice thought back firmly, with the added caveat that if he was a soil blood he would die and she would be done for now.

 The farmer, realising that it wasn’t one of his fellows that was riding down the track stood to one side and bowed his head to her.

 “Good afternoon sir,” said Caprice, reining Placidity in next to the man.

 “Good afternoon milady,” replied the farmer, shuffling his feet, and finding the ground very interesting to look at.

 “I was wondering if you could help me. I’ve been searching for a soil blood all day, but I just can’t seem to find one.”

 “Not too sure I can help you milady,” said the farmer, with a bit of a tremor in his voice.

 “Oh no?” asked Caprice, pitched perfectly to inspire dread in those who were lesser than her.

 “Y’see, most of them have gone to the cities. Acting as gardners and the like for the noble bloods,” he replied quickly, his fidgeting increasing.

 I think he knows something, said Prudence.

 I agree.

 “That is a great shame. I would be most indebted to someone who could assist me,” said Caprice, making sure that one of her money pouches would be plain sight if the man looked up. Then she continued pushing.

 “I’m sure I could make it worth your while to assist me.”

 “What’re you wanting them for. There are plenty here who have good, green fingers, near as good any them.”

 “It’s a secret I’m afraid,” said Caprice, trying to make herself sound as coy as possible, since the farmer still wasn’t looking directly at her, “but only a soil blood will do. I shan’t need them for long I don’t think.”

 “Come now. Both you and whichever soil blood you tell me of will be well rewarded.”

 “Well, I suppose there’s old grammy Worst, but she’s old, so can’t be moving very far.”

 “That’s quite all right, I don’t need them to come with me. I can simply return when they have finished what I requested of them. How might I be able to find her.”

 “Go back the way you came, and take the second track left from here. Then you want to turn left again when you hit the stream. It’s the little cottage along there. I’ll warn you though, she usually keeps to herself, and can be a bit, well feisty. Like as not she’ll run you out of there before you can get a word in edgewise, even being blooded as you are.”

 “Thank you for the advice kind sir. As promised,” said Caprice as opened her visible money pouch and held out a hand with a couple of Renners in. There was a moment of stunned silence then unseemly haste as the farmer snatched them from her hand.

 “Thank you milady,” said the farmer, putting a great deal of feeling into the words, as if she had just given him a small fortune. That alone made Caprice decide to push her luck.

 “This is a surprise for a friend. Please don’t tell anyone about this. I’m sure I can trust your integrity.”

 “Of course milady.”

 “Because if you do then things will become very difficult for you,” said Caprice, a malicious smile covering her face and entering her voice. The hope was that if someone could spend a couple of Renners on simple information, how much more terrifying would there vengeance be.

 “No milady, never tell a soul milady,” replied the farmer, trembling almost imperceptibly as his luck had both soared and had a dire bond placed against him. Caprice beamed.

 “Good. Thank you for your time. I’ll be off now. And remember, you have never met me.”

 “No milady.”

 Kill him! urged Prudence.

 No, I told you I would not.

 He is a liability. Kill him! Kill him Caprice. He is just a farmer and you have an important duty. Kill him. Kill him. He doesn’t matter, you do, and his survival jeopardises you. Kill him Caprice. Take out your dagger and stab him. He needs to die. Kill him! said Prudence, more loudly and vehemently than Caprice had ever heard him talk before. The sheer mental volume was like a headache, causing her to wince.

 “Are you alright milady?” the farmer asked, only slightly cutting through the continued litany from Prudence.

 “I have migraines. It will pass. Now leave about your business,” replied Caprice as snippily as possible.

 “As you will milady.”

 No more unnecessary deaths Prudence.

 His death is necessary.

 No it isn’t. That threat should keep him in line.

 And if he tells someone, what then? You don’t even know his name, and his face was mostly hidden by his hat. Now is your only chance. Kill him.

 I will not. And that is final.

 You must kill him child. He must die.

~~~

 The farmer’s directions had been easy enough to follow and soon Caprice saw a small cottage down the nearly overgrown path she had been put on. It boded well that any action she took here would go unnoticed for some time. Mercifully after their disagreement Prudence had fallen silent. While Caprice kind of liked to think of it as him having a sulk, it was more likely that  he was giving both of them time to cool off. Especially as she was still doing what he asked. Mostly.

 Thinking of it like that was certainly unnerving. Maybe there was a first time for everything, and maybe her spirit was leading her astray. But he shared her body, and wouldn’t gain anything from causing her downfall. Perhaps he was insane. That thought shuddered through her. Even if she tried stopping, he could make her life a living hell, and she was probably too far committed now. If he wasn’t insane, then not listening might well be dooming Lach. It was a horrible situation to be put in.

 All these thoughts were disrupted as an elderly woman exited the cottage in front of her. Despite her old age, she moved at a fair clip, her eyes narrowed and her mouth a thin line. The apparent force with which she drove her walking stick into the ground belied the fact that she was not a woman to be trifled with.

 Caprice slid off of Placidity, and plastered a somewhat dopey smile to her face.

 “Who are you? What do you want here?” demanded the woman, who Caprice assumed to be old grammy Worst.

 “I’ve come looking for the services of a soil blood. I was hoping you might be able to help.”

 “Soil blood? Then you’ve come to the wrong place, I’m a fucking golem blood you ignorant child. I don’t have time for time wasters like you who won’t even address me properly. Get you gone,” said Worst, shaking her stick menacingly in Caprice’s direction.

 “A golem blood? So much the better. It seems that I was grossly misinformed, I ask that you forgive my ignorance.”

 “And why should I do that? I’m not a fucking low blood, you shouldn’t have ever treated me like one. Or are you so blind that you can’t tell a noble bearing when you see it?”

 “But is it not noble to forgive one when they recognise that they have made an error, and struggle to better themselves?” asked Caprice, advancing towards old grammy Worst with her most beatific smile.

 “That doesn’t sound like any of the other noble bloods I’ve met. Why should it apply to me? You ain’t going to win me around by appealing to my better nature. I’ve been reliably informed I don’t have one.”

 “I’m willing to gamble that most people don’t believe that you’re a golem blood. In fact, I want to let you in on a little secret. Something I’ve worked out,” said Caprice, still advancing. It wouldn’t be long until she was in knife range, though whether it would work against someone who was fully embracing the fact they were a golem blood was up in the air. When the woman didn’t back away or respond, she took it as an invitation to continue.

 “The truth is, low bloods are a fiction made up by the noble bloods. They are all really noble bloods, but they lack the proper training. Any who do get vocal about it, well they get removed. After all who’s going to miss a few low bloods?” said Caprice, ready to pounce.

 “And how exactly do you know this?” challenged grammy Worst.

   “I know this because I’m a witch blood,” said Caprice, before striking at the old woman’s hand that was holding her cane. The knife clattered against her clay brown flesh, sending chips flying. More in surprise than anything, Worst dropped her weapon.

 For all that she was not an accomplished duelist, Caprice had been taught the basics of fighting. Especially how to defend oneself against a noble blood. The main lesson was to never give your opponent enough of a chance to focus to bring the full powers of their blood to bear.

 She went immediately from the slash into a stab at the woman, gouging out some of her chest. Grammy Worst staggered backwards from the sudden assault, she seemed almost bewildered by the sudden assault, or perhaps it was the revelation that Caprice was a witch blood. Either way, it was a fatal mistake. She gave Caprice the opening she needed to move in and carefully line up her dagger to plant it in Worst’s eye socket.

 A disgusted shiver ran through Caprice again as she saw the old woman slump to the ground. She was far too good at this killing business. Far too good at slipping into the mindset needed to murder.

 Grimacing, she stuck her finger into the ruin she had made of Worst’s eye, searching around for her skull. Beneath her, the old woman let out a moan of pain. As soon as Caprice’s finger caught bone, she felt Worst expire. It was a rush, even that pitiful, small amount of life left, flowing into Caprice.

 The woman was already dying, and it was the only reason Caprice could usher her on. Had Worst been a child and dying, Caprice was sure she would have felt an undiluted wave of a heady combination of vitality and ecstasy. Prudence had told her of this, but it was the first time she’d truly felt it. All her other kills had expired before she reached bone. The disposal of bastard children sired by noble bloods by witch bloods of old just became uglier the more she experienced of her power.

 Following the rush, she almost immediately transitioned over into the necessary state for working the power of a blooded into a charm. A dizzying array of possibilities opened up to her, Prudence’s knowledge only ever scratching the surface of what a true witch blood could do. Unlike before where she had specific charms in mind, she took her time browsing through the options.

 A couple of minor charms to bend the earth to her will, useful for covering her tracks. Another charm stood out, having the ability to bind something or someone in place, not just to a location, but to a state. In her logical dispassion, it seemed the perfect means of managing a ghost blood, binding them to the physical for a time. There wasn’t enough power left for creating a charm of control, which was her next choice, instead settling for a pair of charms of mass. They would allow her to directly control the weight of an object or person for a limited time.

 Returning to herself, she held the charms in her hand, just above the further withered corpse of Worst. She wanted to justify what she had done, to herself, but found it increasingly hard. Instead feeling sick to the stomach, she cracked open one of her acid charms and allowed it to dissolve the woman. The stench of boiling, melting flesh filled the air. Unable to help herself, Caprice ran to the stream to throw up the contents of her stomach.

 Some day she would be able to do this without losing her lunch, but it was not this day. Returning to placidity, she washed away the vile, burning taste in her mouth with a little wine.

 Looking at the little cottage, Caprice remembered her intentions for one of the earth manipulation charms. Drawing on the power within, she moved soil out from the foundations of the house, leading it to falling with a crack of wood and a crash of collapse. Hopefully, that would explain the old woman’s disappearance, and many might think her as dead as she was.

 There was an unanswered question though. For all that their powers diversified in the hands of a witch blood, the reason why a charm of control belonged to a golem blood and not a gods blood seemed a mystery to Caprice.

 Will you listen to me? asked Prudence, there wasn’t exactly contrition in his thoughts, but at least he seemed apologetic for pushing so hard against her.

 You know the reason? replied Caprice.

 Perhaps not in full, but I can hazard a guess. I will also point out that you have already seen some overlap between the various charms. The armour of a golem blood would not have been dissimilar from the dragon scales you currently possess. The dragon charm that would have made you immune to fire, and the selkie charm that meant that heat could not touch you are functionally near identical, said Prudence, dropping into what Caprice referred to as his teaching voice. Even if he didn’t actually speak.

 It seems that some of the myths have been lost, continued Prudence, When the divine beasts walked the earth and humanity was young, there was a talented sculptor. Arete saw the beauty of the work of his hands, and grew fond of him. At the time, a terrible manticore had begun to prey on the outskirts of the village in which he lived.

 The sculptor had not the martial skill to fight off the beast, yet he wanted to show defiance to its face. So he crafted a masterpiece. Though of base clay, he wrought a most beautiful statue. A woman clad all in armour, a mighty shield in one hand, and a great sword in the other. Admiring his stand, and the beauty that he had created, Arete carved a symbol into the statue’s forehead in the language of the gods.

 Appearing to the man in a dream, Arete told him that if he were to breathe on that symbol, the woman would come to life, and defend his village. But it would come at the cost of part of his own life. The two would be entwined, if one should die then the other would fall, and the span of their years would be shared between the two, aging before their time. Yet because it would be his breath that would awaken the woman, the sculptor would hold dominion over her.

 The next morning, the sculptor awoke and saw the symbol carved into the head of the woman he had created. Without hesitation, he walked up to the statue and breathed life onto the symbol adorning it.  What had once been solid clay animated, and came to life, her flesh retaining the colouring of the clay from which she had been made.

 ‘What is your command master?’ asked the woman. The sculptor was taken aback, for though he had known what Arete had told him, it hadn’t truly sunk in until that point. He had not wished for a slave, only a protector. So he gave her his only command.

 ‘Do as you will.’

 ‘Thank you,’ replied the woman, a tension easing from her. Arete watched this and was pleased, for the sculptor had not squandered her gift.

 The sculptor told her of the manticore that had been attacking the villagers, and she was incensed. For while she was free of the sculptor’s command, still he had made her, crafted her personality. She was a protector, and she would the village safe.

 Marching out, she hunted the manticore. When she found it the pair fought. The manticore’s claws gouged at her flesh, and it’s teeth mauled her leg. She cut off its head. While she had achieved victory, her left arm had been left as little more than a stump, and she was forever lamed by the manticore’s teeth.

 Returning back to the village with the head, she was proclaimed a hero by the people of the village, and she was celebrated.

 After a suitable courtship, the sculptor married the woman he had created. Though many thought her beauty marred from her wounds, the sculptor forever saw the brave, valiant, honest and noble woman he had created. Those wounds and scars made her more beautiful to him rather than less. So it was that the pair were fruitful, and their children were the first of the golem bloods, forever linked to the clay from which their mother had been made.

 Alas, the story does not have a happy ending. A villager grew envious of the woman that had been created, for they desired to wed the sculptor, who made things of such beauty. Even losing part of herself, the woman was no easy fight, so the villager crept into her house at night. Knowing that they might only have a singular chance, they struck at the symbol that Arete had carved into the woman’s forehead.

 In that moment, both the woman and the sculptor expired. Arete weeped at what had been done. Seeing the sorrow that had befallen his wife, Vanus sent a snake to them, it’s venom sending them into mortal agony, and indelibly marking their soul for the hells when they was granted the mercy of death, finished Prudence.

 I suppose that explains some of it, replied Caprice, not the most cheerful story though.

 It isn’t. But you have tarried here long enough child. You should head home.

 By the time she had entered into the capital once more, the crepuscular haze of twilight had descended.

Chapter 9 - Opening Moves

 In addition to being present when court was held, Caprice had a further duty as heir to House von Eisel to attend council meetings with her father. There her only task would be to pay attention.

 Malice had warned her that council meetings were intolerably dull, while Spite considered them to be of the utmost importance. It was here that most of the decisions that would affect the future of the country were made.

 While the council could advise her and keep her appraised of various aspects of the running of her queendom, only Apathy’s choices held full weight.

 Caprice joined the other heirs that stood around the outside of the circular council chambers when she entered, taking her position behind the chair second from right from the head of the table. Directly opposite her was Deceit von Leance, and behind him was Charity, neither giving her arrival any acknowledgement.

 Mercifully, Spite was sat at the left hand of where the queen would sit, putting him next to Deceit. Catching his eye, Caprice flashed him a small smile, which he reciprocated. While others might not have noticed the returned smile, she was fairly certain that her father would have caught it as well. Folly would be far too careful to let it show though.

 Before the queen arrived, Caprice had a few minutes to compose herself, schooling her expression back to neutral. Almost all the seats were occupied around the table, and Caprice tried to work out who belonged in each one. The seat next to the queen was easy, that would belong to Disaster.

 The seat two-thirds of the way down likely belonged to Antipathy von Lor. It was well known among the court that the ghost blood was struggling with a nasty disease, although the nature of the affliction was the source of much rumour.

 A third seat near the end of the table was also vacant, but the appropriate occupant remained a mystery to Caprice. They would be important certainly, but when they were that far from the queen, it could be almost any of the noble bloods. As Caprice was mulling it over, Queen Apathy entered into the chambers.

 There was a rustle of fabric as all the noble bloods fell into a bow or curtsy. Those sat at the table rose to perform the required obeisance, only seating themselves once the queen had taken her seat.

 “Thank you all for coming today my loyal subjects,” the queen began, “let us begin with your report into the ambassador from Guin Lord Folly.”

 “As your majesty commands,” said her father.

 “While it has not been a great deal of time since her arrival within Lach, Prietess Margritte has been busy making contacts with many of the noble bloods. She has also requested a meeting with both princes and the princess, though they have not yet responded,” said Folly, not once glancing at his copious notes before continuing on.

 “For now she has been simply introducing herself, and getting to know those nobles. She has yet to attempt to curry favour for whatever goal she has in mind, deflecting whenever possible. It seems likely that she is here to discuss the possibility of open borders, and possibly trade agreements, though she has yet to let on the exact nature of the treaties she desires.”

 “Her knowledge of Lachan and our customs is excellent. It is likely she has been trained into the ambassadorial role for a few years, if not longer. She is personally an exceptionally difficult person to read, her physical attributes, which seems to come from being a gorgon blood, make body language useless. If you are skilled, you can probably pick up on hints in how she speaks, and some of her deliberate actions, but it would be very difficult for most individuals.”

 “As to her origins, as far as I can determine, she was found by the High Enclave of Guin from an unblooded family of merchants. Following their dictates, she was removed from her parents and placed in the care of the church. Unfortunately, it has proven extremely difficult for our agents to gain access to their churches in any meaningful way, meaning information about what happened during her time there is thin.”

 “Thank you Folly. To all present, I urge caution when dealing with this Priestess, while she keeps her motives hidden, we cannot take anything for granted,” said Apathy, before moving on to the next order of business. A prolonged discussion of predicted crop yields and how to best use it. The topic was even less interesting than it sounded. Despite this, a glance or two at Spite helped to keep Caprice focussed.

 Interrupting the discussion, Disaster swaggered into the room as if he wasn’t a minute late. With ease that didn’t seemed feigned, he slipped into the chair next to his mother. Where anyone else would have received a sharp glare at best and open rebuke at worst, the queen just gave him a small smile and a nod.

“Apologies for the delay mother. I was caught up in some rather important business,” said Disaster.

 “Do not worry yourself about it. We were discussing the potential crop yield, it looks as though this will be a good year.”

 “That is some excellent news mother. Perhaps we might put it to good use during the Revelry and stock the rest to bolster the supplies for our military. I’m sure that if they have that much, we should be able to buy it at a good price and pay it back to the citizenry. In fact, we should probably let the nobles know of our intention, so they can be ready to apportion the harvest.”

 “A wonderful suggestion Disaster. What are your thoughts on this?” Queen Apathy asked the table.

 “My main concern is that we do not purchase too much too early. If something happens it may leave the farmers with too little for the winter,” said Folly, tapping his chin with his finger.

 “Nonsense,” said Disaster, waving a hand as if dismissing a thought, “if they have too little, then they shall have our money to buy what they need.”

 “Brother, we should try to be prudent here. It is not so easy to purchase food for some of the more rural farmers, and they would likely be charged more than we paid,” said Spite.

 “Spite; you are still young, and you worry too much. And forgive me Folly, but your job seems to make you paranoid that everything that might go wrong shall go wrong. I don’t think there should be any issues. As you said, we should be in for a good year,” said Disaster, with an easy smile, all directed at his mother.

 “Then it is decided,” said Apathy firmly, “Lady von Seo, if you could arrange the purchase from the noble bloods.”

 “As you wish your majesty.”

~~~

 The council meeting continued on for some time. After making his grand entrance, Disaster mostly stayed apathetic towards most subjects. Using the opportunity, Caprice soaked in some understanding of how the queendom was run. It was one thing to have council meetings explained, quite another to sit through one.

 Even some of the minutiae surrounding the planning of reinvesting into the main roads through the country was rather interesting. Some of the sections were bound by old covenants that couldn’t just be broken, even by the queen. Doing so would generate ill will. The noble bloods might not be able to actively act against the crown, but having them on side was still important for the administration of the realm.

 Already the gears were turning in Caprice’s head. It was almost as if she had been dropped into the hardest test her teachers could conceive. The discussions didn’t end there, moving onto other areas, all of which she did her best to think around. In some places, she was just hopelessly lost.

 No doubt her father understood all of what was going on, and he could probably see a lot more of the bigger picture than her. That statement was probably true for most of the people at the table, if not those standing around the outside.

 It was easy to see why Malice would find such meetings boring. As frighteningly intelligent as she could be, delving into the details and the complicated parts would just be utterly dull to her. The careful deliberation would clash hard against Malice’s impulsive risk taking.

 Then the topic switched to military matters. Where Disaster had started to slouch into his chair, he immediately perked up.

 “If I may Mother, may I suggest that we take a battalion or two on exercises. You know that Cens has been flexing their muscles near our border. We can’t just not respond to that sort of provocation. You know how hungry they are to claim the area around Varr. We should have troops ready to respond,” said Disaster as soon as the topic was brought up, interrupting any plans for a regular discussion.

 “I’m inclined to agree with your son your Majesty. My levies have noted an increase in activity along our border. While our forts should be able to hold off any immediate attack, our forces would be insufficient to mount any sort of retaliatory strike,” said Conspiracy von Varr, nodding towards the prince. When she finished, Conspiracy’s mouth drew into a thin line, fixing Apathy with a challenging stare.

 “Your majesty,” said Spite, drawing the queen’s attention.

 “Cens has long been flexing their muscles, but our information,” said Spite, inclining his head towards Folly, “indicates a schism between king and military. It is unlikely they’d be able to agree enough to mobilize a true attack. Even if they did, the generals who started it would likely be branded traitors. Sending our forces out would just be rising to the bait, and the Cen king might take affront. Plus it is hard to say how Guin would feel about having forces on their doorstep, especially so shortly after they sent an ambassador.

 “Thank you Spite, Disaster, I will consider this. Does anyone else wish to raise a point on this matter?” said Apathy.

 A few further points were made both in favour and against any sort of action, but none that Caprice felt really added much more weight to either side.

~~~

 “Caprice,” said Folly in his office back at the von Eisel house. He was sat behind his desk as Caprice stood facing him, hands behind her back.

 “Yes father?”

 “How did you find the council meeting?”

 “Very interesting. Though I will admit there were some places I got rather lost,” replied Caprice.

 “You will learn quickly, I’m sure. Give me a list of areas you had difficulties and I will arrange someone to bring you up to speed.”

 “Yes father,” said Caprice, finding the spot just above her father’s head very interesting, she did her best to mask the disappointment she felt in herself.

 “There is another thing. I was informed of your excursion outside of the city. You are the heir to House von Eisel, and of no known blood. While you are an adult and can make your own decisions, I would ask that you take a footman with you next time you go out riding, or do so with some of your peers.”

 “Yes father,” said Caprice. Folly’s eyes narrowed looking at her face.

 “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that you must not bring disrepute onto this House, especially as you are being courted by both Prince and Princess. Do not do anything that might even suggest that you are not a dutiful daughter.”

 “Father,” said Caprice, fixing her father with her eyes, “I promise you that I have not strayed from those courting me.”

 She was fairly convinced of what she said, and only by telling the truth was she certain to get what she said past a sphinx blood. The thought of Yvae crossed her mind briefly. Still she stood proud as Folly scrutinised her.

 “You thought of a third person,” said Folly, then softening, “who is it Caprice?”

 Carefully allowing her facade crack to the perfect way, Caprice bit her lip for a second before answering.

 “I will be honest father, I also thought of Yvae Margritte.”

 “You realise that any relationship with her could never be consummated? Are you sure that is what you might want?”

 “I’m not sure father. This is only a recent thing, and I do not know how she feels about me. I’m not even sure how I feel about her, but she is beautiful.”

 Besides, gloves can be used, interrupted Prudence, it took her a second, but Caprice brought her hand up to her mouth to cover it.

 “I take it Prudence just suggested something inappropriate for polite company,” said Folly.

 “Yes father.”

 “How curious,” was the only response she got. Folly began tapping his chin and his tail began swishing back and forth.

 “Do you disapprove of the potential match?” asked Caprice.

 Folly thought a second longer before answering.

 “No. It might be useful to have a family member so closely tied to Guin. It seems as though your brother is likely to become heir to the House at this rate.”

 “Yes father.”

 “You may leave now. Send me that list, and I will see about informing you on those matters,” said Folly, dismissing Caprice from his room.

Interlude - Prophecy

 A young Caprice had just finished her lessons for the day. She dearly wished that she had enough time to visit Malice and Spite, but sadly her teachers seemed to like talking an awful lot.

 At least today she heard a new story. The brave king Mercy of Lach who had been responsible for hunting down all the witch bloods, fulfilling the prophecy of Seer. While a lot of it seemed like boring negotiations he had saved the country from danger.

 That was the sanitised version child, said Prudence, as Caprice idled in her receiving room.

 What do you mean sanitised? asked Caprice, mentally sounding out the longer word.

 It means they didn’t tell you the whole truth. King Mercy was a cruel tyrant who took great pleasure in killing, and used the witch hunts to fill his own coffers. He was smart though, and used the prophecy to spin a tale of him being a saviour.

 But why don’t people know that?

 All that really remains from that time are books and spirits. And King Mercy made sure that those books all made him look good. Most spirits are young, unformed things, leaving only me who remembers what happened. He was the first who started the trend of shifting names to what you do not wish your child to be.

I don’t understand.

 King Mercy was not merciful. In other words, he wasn’t very nice at all.

 But my teachers said he was a hero.

 He lied to everyone. He was no hero, and he took a prophecy and twisted it. While I will admit that the witch bloods did need reining in. Hells, by and large they deserved what happened to them, the slaughter of their families was gross and unnecessary.

 You shouldn’t swear Prudence, Caprice chastised him.

 Apologies child. However, the prophecy itself is important. Do you remember it?

 Umm, hold on. A great calamity will be borne unto the land. Its hand shall pluck those too young and lead them to the slaughter. The other shall drain the elderly dry. Its mouth shall consume and consume, forever hungry for more fuel. Ruin shall follow its wake. Not a brick will be left atop brick.

 There is but one hope. If they are brave enough, a hero shall rise. They shall cut off this calamity at the source. Only by risking everything can they save Lach. Their path to victory lies through blood, attainting themselves to save many. They shall sacrifice their purity, and pay the price in flesh.

 Very good child. Alas, the translation into modern Lach has caused a level of misunderstanding within the prophecy. I tell you true child, you are the prophesied hero, not King Mercy. However, no others can be told of this. They would not understand.

 Caprice sat quietly, trying to contemplate what Prudence had told her, trying to wrap her head around her future being set in stone.  Being the hero seemed like it wouldn’t actually be that pleasant, but she was loyal to Lach.

 There are more things you must learn child, but I shall wait until you are older, for now, enjoy this precious time.

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @likeaforgottenmemory

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a bucket shape, with jupiter as the handle of the bucket. your jupiter is in the 7th house, hence matters regarding relationships and love will be your priorities in this lifetime. you also have clear ideas about your future and who you want to be. even though you may have different passions and talents you’re capable of only sticking to one and mastering it, giving your all.

your dominant planets are venus, the moon and neptune. you're a very romantic person who strives for peace and balance, you like equality and you hate injustices and conflicts. you're also very creative and you have artistic interests, you have a strong imagination and you may often get lost in your own thoughts. yet, you could be a bit too emotional or moody.

your dominant sign is libra. you're overall a peaceful person, you try to avoid conflicts if possible, even though sometimes you could have a sharp tongue. you're a romantic person, maybe too much. you hold unrealistic expectations of people, hence you often get disappointed when things don't turn out the way you thought. you're able to see both sides of an argument, and that's both good and bad. in fact, you're very objective, and most probably your opinions are right; yet, it may be annoying for people that are venting to you, as you could constantly point out their mistakes, even though you don't do it out of malice.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in libra, 18° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

you're naturally likeable, you have a particular charm to you that makes everyone drool over you. you're very nice and outgoing, you always try to make others feel at ease. you're very considerate of others' feelings. you strive for fairness and justice, it's the way you approach others and the world. basically, you treat others like they treat you: if they're kind with you, you'll be very sweet. otherwise, you'll turn very sarcastic and harsh, almost cold at a certain point. this can make you seem quite aggressive, especially with your impulsive sagittarius moon. you're very opinionated, you always feel the need to express your thoughts as you're very proud of them. in addition, since you always decide whether something is right or not, you may come off as a know-it-all. on the other hand, you're very sociable and you enjoy being in company, doesn't matter whether you're with your family, friends, lover etc. you may get to know many people throughout your life, but your friendships may not be much stable. you are surrounded by people, but you could feel lonely particularly often. I also need to point out that libra is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body is also very feminine, with a lot of curves and softness to it. it's very romantic, to sum up. also, your hair is probably naturally beautiful; it could be curly, or at least it's very thick and healthy-looking, even if you don't take much care of it.

libra ascendant opposite aries jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. this placement also enhances your libra-sagittarius energy, making you look even more outgoing and approachable. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may depend too much from your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy, as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

🌞 sun in libra, 4° / 1st decan ruled by venus

this is the most romantic and kind-hearted libra decan. you are very intuitive, you understand others’ real feelings very easily. you’re very polite and mannered, you have this innate elegance about you that could make people jealous. you may even come off as snob. even though you may look flaky at first, once people get to know you you’re actually very reliable and trust-worthy, as you are a person of strong morals. you may unconsciously manipulate people, but you don’t do it with malice. in fact, you’re probably not even aware of it most of the times. you’re reserved, and you don’t like being the centre of attention, despite craving compliments. nonetheless, you still like getting to know new people; you’re the type to know everyone, but you may struggle to find actual best friends, as your bonds with people are quite undeveloped and superficial. you have a nice sense of humor, and you may rely on sarcasm a lot. you’re also the type that doesn’t like to accept her mistakes. probably, when you were a child you used to scream 'it’s not my fault!’ in every occasion. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant.

🌙 moon in sagittarius, 9° / 1st decan ruled bt jupiter

you're an outgoing and warm person, who always tries to make others feel at ease. I assume you try to be nice to everyone, but you can't help but be a little awkward around people you don't know. with your sagittarius moon, you go with the flow and don't shy away from challenges. they're moments to prove your potential and abilities. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, misogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. when you get angry, you can actually get quite rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re friendly, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. you're quite optimistic, as you see good in everyone. yet, while this is a good trait that allows you to be more at ease in relationships, you may also be fooled easily due to your blind optimism.

sagittarius moon conjunct sagittarius saturn: you most probably felt misunderstood during your childhood, as if everyone were cold with you. maybe your mother (or anyone in your family/childhood) was emotionally absent or even aggressive, hence you didn't grow up in a completely healthy environment. this issue causes you to question your worth; you may have low self-esteem, especially during your early years. your family may have big expectations of you, and hence you feel the need to meet them, making you even more pressured to be perfect. overall, your personality may resemble that of your parents a lot, even though it may feel challenging for you. you're constantly strict with yourself, challenging yourself to improve. especially with your libra dominance, you always want to be at your best state, physically but also emotionally. you just want to radiate good vibes, even though you may feel limitated to share all of your true self due the moon making this harsh aspect to saturn.

🗣 mercury in libra, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

you're very diplomatic! you always try to be nice and gentle with your words, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. your tone of voice is extremely soft, sometimes it could even be hard to understand what you say, as you could naturally have a high voice. you're extremely balanced, you have amazing problem-solving skills as you're able to see both side of an argument. it's natural for you to understand what's right and what isn't, and most of the times you're actually right. when you're with someone you're not really close to, you could even be the accommodating type who allows others to speak over your voice, or maybe you let others speak first as a gesture of kindness. I feel like with your sagittarius moon you have very strong opinions, and you're actually particularly proud of them. luckily, this placement makes you able to communicate them with diplomacy. you could often get angry if someone tries to prove you wrong, but aside from that, you try to be very elegant and formal when you speak. you're probably not fond of cursing, or at least you try to appear as mannered as possible with people you're not comfortable around. last but not least, you're such a charismatic, smooth talker that you result very persuasive. you're able to trick people with your words, which appear very diplomatic and calm.

libra mercury opposite aries jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends.

❤️ venus in libra, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

you're very romantic, and this placement helps your sagittarius moon being less flaky. you're not looking for a partner, you're looking for a whole disney prince. you do care about looks when choosing a lover, but not necessarily a conventionally beautiful person. they have to appear perfect at your eyes, and this usually depends on the way they treat you. in fact, you despise vulgar, rude people. people that act like that immediately become unattractive to you. you're also very picky, exactly because you're looking for the perfect lover. you're probably the type to cry at movies. you're also quite of a cliche; you're into roses, romantic dinners, sunsets... anything romantic that you hear about in fairytales. the problem with this placement is that you may overestimate the people you frequent, ending up having different expectations from reality. probably, you may idealize people too much; that is, you may create a version of others that only exists in your head. hence, once you get to know someone better, they turn out to be the exact opposite of what you thought. this causes you to be sort of naive when it comes to relationships, so pay extra attention to this problem now that you're aware of it.

☄️ mars in virgo, 23° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and venus

your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out. in fact, the downside to this placement is that you may overwork yourself too much. this is bad, especially considering your heavy libra dominance: pisces is all about imagination, creativity, beauty, romance... if you work too much, you don't have time to travel with your mind, and that's a serious issue for a libra. in fact, it may be hard for you to endure too much hard work. you're capable of achieving your goals, but in order to do that you also need a break from time to time.

virgo mars square sagittarius saturn: this is another placement that indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in libra. you always try to be kind and friendly with people you don't know; you most likely don’t like conflicts, you prefer avoiding them, even though you may have some troubles with that due to your impulsive and fiery sagittarius moon. you probably care a lot about your appearance, and because of that you could get insecure from time to time. usually, people with libra in their 1st house look for themselves in others, as their chart is basically upside down. you also have your libra mercury in this house; you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, and you are able to come up with new ideas and solutions quickly. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak. your scorpio pluto is also in the 1st house: you see the world as a place full of dangers and malice, hence it’s hard for you to trust people. this awareness of the world makes you look mysterious and secretive, as if you always know something more than others (and you probably do). pluto is also the planet of transformation, and you might experience a lot of rebirths throughout your life, both physically and emotionally. you might lose/have lost a big amount of weight, for example, which makes you look like a different person. or maybe, you like dying your hair of a different colour, giving you a different vibe.

your 2nd house is in scorpio, with also your moon and saturn placed there. this placement can make you seem a bit selfish. in fact, you’re extremely possessive of your possessions, you don’t want to share them with others. there’s a lot of karma around your finances. in fact, if you’re too stingy, it may bite your butt. you need to give in order to receive, so I’d suggest you to share your things more with others. you could share a meal with a friend, for example. you’ll surely get something positive back from it. your finances may not be stable either; they are in constant change, and while this placement can make you earn quite a great amount of money, it can also make you lose everything you have. no inbetweens. the 2nd house is also about self-esteem, your relationship with your appearance. you have contrasting feelings about it; some days, you’re very confident. other days, you hate yourself. you may find flaws in every single picture you take or every pants you try on. it’s a very intense placement, as you may often feel as if you need to change your appearance in order to love yourself. based on other placements in your chart, it could manifest in spending money in a new wardrobe for example, as you feel like changing your style would help you boost your self-confidence. the moon here also gives you materialistic tendencies; you may struggle to show your feelings with words, you tend to show your feelings through material things such as gifts. you're probably the type to say I love you through gestures instead of words, even though your libra dominance just makes you very affectionate in general. saturn here could have given you some troubles with your finances in your early years; perhaps your family used to struggle with money, and as a result you can get quite anxious when spending money, you hate waste. this could also manifest in your sense of self-worth; you could have been quite insecure, especially before your 30s. you may have to work extra hard to achieve wealth and / or self-esteem, but at least you're going to be quite successful and confident.

your 3rd house is in sagittarius, with also your uranus and neptune placed there. this is an amazing placement for a writer! you’re extremely open-minded and philosophical. you’d probably do great at poetry or just literature in general. you’re thirsty for knowledge, you aspire to learn everything you can, you enjoy being smart and educated. you most likely love comedy, and you have an amazing sense of humor yourself, you’re able to light up the room and make everyone burst into laughter even if you don’t mean to. you’re also very intelligent, you’re able to memorize things fast and you’re also a fast-learner. you may be less into gossips than other libras, as you’re very benevolent and considerate of others’ feelings. in addition, you’re able to see the good in everyone, there’s no reason for you to talk behind someone’s back. actually, it’s the opposite. you’re quite impulsive, you say things as they are. uranus and neptune are also sitting in this house: you are extremely creative, you are able to come up with very innovative ideas easily. the downside is that you may sometimes end up sounding a bit like a know-it-all when stating your opinions, as you're very passionate about them.

your 4th house is in capricorn. I can tell that your childhood was quite complex. not necessarily bad, I don't see any kind of trauma, but you probably had to grow up way sooner than other kids. your parents could have been very hard-working and focused on their jobs, possibly wealthy too. they were very responsible and cared a lot about you, they always made sure you had everything you needed, even though they could have been slightly absent from time to time due to their jobs. people with a capricorn ic usually find something missing in their childhood, they had to deal with responsibilities from a young age. it could even be that you started working when you were still a teen, or maybe you had to take care of the house or of your siblings for them. you weren’t much extroverted, you preferred staying in, drawing, playing games etc. it could also be that one of your parents may be absent; they could be divorced, or in the worst case they might have died when you were pretty young.

your 5th house is in aquarius. you’re extremely creative, your ideas are very innovative, and you may have particular hobbies, interests or taste than others. when you’re able to fully express yourself, you gain full security and you start experimenting and inventing new things. you could be the type to start new fashion trends, music styles, art styles… basically, you’re a creative genius. your hobbies may also involve astrology, as well as human studies like psychology, or also anything that has to do with technology. you may be into videogames for example, tv series, social media… they’re your way to spend your free-time and relax. your relationships may also be very unconventional; you could usually date people online, or perhaps you may have the potential to meet someone through dating apps. they’re quite unstable, they may end out of the blue for example. yet, the part of fortune here makes it better; in fact, you’ll be able to achieve the best of your luck through creative outlets. again, if I were in you I’d definitely try writing something! you may also dedicate yourself to fashion, art, music, etc., anything that stimulates your creativity.

your 6th house is in pisces. in your daily life, you hardly ever have a structured schedule. you go with the flow, you take things as they come. you may often have your head in the clouds, you could get distracted easily and you may literally creative oscar-worthy movies in your head instead of doing what you need to do. your job may involve arts, images, possibly even fame. you should definitely use your creative talents for your possible career. also, you could benefit from helping others; you could be a psychologist or therapist of any kind, a nurse… any place where you’re able to help others. again, you could also help others through your art, hence with your lyrics, books, etc. when it comes to diets, workout routines, skincare routines etc. you could lack consistency, even though your libra energy makes you more motivated to take care of your appearance. you may sleep a lot, it’s easy for you to feel tired and stressed even when you’re not over-working yourself.

your 7th house is in aries, with also your jupiter sitting in this house. love is most likely not your priority in life, even though you're very romantic. you need independence, and you’re able to stand up for yourself on your own. you don’t need someone else to help you. for you, love is a want, not a need. you tend to attract partners in your life that are hot-headed, stubborn, assertive and goal-oriented. they strive to be the best at everything they do, they’re extremely competitive and willing to do anything to achieve their goals. basically, you attract very dominant partners, but you don’t want to be dominated or controlled. you may often experience power struggles between you and your partner, which cause you issues in every relationship you get in. at the same time, you wouldn’t stand someone too submissive either, as you still need someone that would mentally stimulate you. they may actually be quite selfish and self-centered, they’ll care more about their own development rather than that of you two as a couple. an aries 7th house indicates that while you’ll have a very active, passionate spouse, you may also experience lots of arguments and discussions in your marriage life, perhaps even physical violence in the worst case. your jupiter here luckily makes things better; while you may often experience power-struggles with your partners, you most likely attract very outgoing and altruistic people as well that could help you feel loved. you may also have tons of people crushing on you, you could have lots of luck with love and even with friendships.

your 8th house is in taurus. you have the most stable, stubborn sign in a house that requires constant change. you probably hate changing your routine and stepping out of your comfort zone. changes are hard for you to accept; you find it hard to change job all of a sudden for example, or even letting go of a toxic friend of yours can be stressful for you. also, you could be quite materialistic and fond of material possessions, causing you to be a bit too stingy, which isn’t good for your karma. another reason that this house contrasts with your 2nd house in scorpio is that you feel like you constantly need to change, but ironically slow taurus makes your changes way slower than usual. sometimes, when they happen, they’re so subtle that you probably can’t even see them or at least notice them at first. this placement may also indicate that you could get an inheritance, especially since your venus isn’t harshly aspected, and you’ll most likely have a peaceful death.

your 9th house is in gemini. gemini in the 9th house cusp usually makes people a bit close-minded, as they are very logical and careful in their approach to the world. you may change your ideas and opinions quite quickly, to the point that you could seem unconsistent. when learning new things, you like exploring different matters and subject, from maths to literature, but you may struggle to focus on only one. as a result, you may lack precision. you're probably a fast-learner and you're very witty and curious, you like learning about anything you can. you probably like studying, not necessarily at school but studying in general, and you may also be skilled at foreign languages. you could also be interested in foreign matters, such as cultures, music, etc.

your 10th house is in cancer. your career needs to be private. that doesn’t mean that you can’t become famous of course, but you prefer being more hidden at job, you may even work from home or from a young age. many celebrities with this placement, in fact, started working when they were still young. also, cancer indicates that your future job will give you the opportunity to express and / or deal with your / others’ feelings and emotions, and considering that the ruler of this house, the moon, is in the 2nd house, I can see you making loads of money thanks to your job. you could become a writer, a singer, an actress, as well as a nurse, a therapist… anything that allows you to express your emotions while also communicating something is suitable for you. you could possibly also choose the same career as your parents, or you may handle the family’s business for example. you could also end up doing the job of your childhood dreams. you feel the need to pursue a meaningful career in your life, you want to feel emotionally connected to it. you don’t only want something that allows you to earn money, you also want to gain wisdom and maturity from a job, and hence you could even be a bit picky in choosing your future career.

your 11th house is in leo, with also your mars placed there. with this placement, you’re probably very popular among your friends, you’re most likely the most talkative or funniest member of your group. you may also attract very popular people yourself in your friendships, perhaps even celebrities. possibly, you could even make friends that allow you to gain recognition and / or popularity, doesn’t matter whether it’s in school, job, etc. you could also have very big dreams for your future, probably regarding your career and finances. you most likely aspire to be wealthy and financially independent, you are very hard-working and possibly even a bit materialistic. mars here makes you attract a lot of people in your life. whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you’ll always be able to have someone by your side, even though you may struggle to create stable bonds. friends come and go, basically. you may attract very fierce, almost violent friends. they’re very energetic, and probably extroverted people who like socializing and enjoying life to the fullest. you're also very hard-working, and you aspire to achieve all of your dreams.

your 12th house is in virgo. this is another placement that indicates that you are an amazing writer! in fact, the 12th house is about secret skills too, and virgo is ruled by mercury, the planet of communication. you do the math. with this placement, though, I feel like you may feel restricted from pursuing your goals, or even a career in the public eye, as you’re quite sensitive to others’ criticism about you. you strive to be perfect all the time, and your libra rising wants to constantly have a nice reputation. a scandal, or even simple haters, would probably be the end of you. you also have venus placed here, meaning that deep down, you actually crave affection from someone else. yet, you may be afraid, or perhaps too shy to approach a possible partner. but remember, the 12th house is also the house of secret talents! in fact, especially with your libra rising, you’re extremely likeable. you shouldn’t be afraid of not being liked back, for example. remember that your love life will get better with time, as you become more mature in that field. the sun is also placed in this house; with this placement, I assume that you may struggle to take action. you may try to avoid conflicts at all costs, to the point that you could actually start victimizing yourself. you could struggle to accomplish your goals, you try to be productive but you may be too shy to be in the spotlight once you achieve your goals.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aries, aquarius, sagittarius and libra placements. your future spouse will most likely have aquarius and libra traits placements; they’ll be very smart, creative, bold and confident, but also with a warm heart and a hidden insecurity to them. it could be love at first sight, and you may meet them through other people, maybe through your job or through your friends. your children will have strong aquarius, possibly capricorn placements. they’ll be very dreamy, they’ll have big goals for their life, and they’ll also be extremely intelligent and creative as well.

👶🏻 family life

your father is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for himself when he has to, but he may struggle to do that. he’s very smart, caring and empathetic, even though he may be a bit childish at times. he could have cancer placements in his chart, possibly scorpio too. your mother, on the other hand, is a bit more serious and focused on work, but she always made sure you always had what you needed. she was probably the strict parent in the family, but she still has some sweetness and nice humor to her. also, she may have capricorn, aquarius, sagittarius or cancer placements in her chart. if you have siblings, they most likely have sagittarius, aquarius, pisces and / or aries placements in their chart. they could be foreign or skilled at foreign languages, and you may feel very at ease with them. you have an amazing bond with them, you’re able to both relax and have fun together, even though you may discuss often. you could have been very jealous of each other when you were kids, maybe.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, you're going to pursue a career that will allow you to interact with others. you would probably do amazing at a job that requires you to help people, you could make a great nurse or psychologist for instance. you may also work as a teacher of any kind, not necessarily a professor or school teacher. you may also become a chief or a boss in your job, since the ruler of your midheaven (career), the moon, is in the sign of scorpio, and hence you will probably work alone, you won't have to depend on others. I definitely see you being successful in whatever you choose, you could become very independent and financially stable thanks to your job. possibly, you may also have a business with your future spouse. you could also work with children or for family, as a counselor for example. anything that allows you to interact with and help others would be great for you, as it would make you more empathetic and sensitive to the external world.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you’re very traditional about your clothes, maybe even basic. you’re the type to have lots of essential clothes in your wardrobe, e.g a white shirt, white t-shirt, jeans etc. you love wearing sophisticated, elegant fits. for example, you may be fond of wide leg jeans, or maybe flare trousers, boatneck sweaters, tiny jewellery… things like that, that are always a must have. you may fancy pastel colors, or even neutral shades like black, white, grey, beige etc. you’re also the type to follow fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were a very spiritual individual. you were close to your higher self, and you probably were able to talk to ghosts, you used to interpret your dreams and you most likely were also interested in astrology and other occult matters. in this lifetime, you need to put your spirituality aside for a while, and focus on finding out your identity here on the earth. you can still use spirituality to find out, but your priority is learning your karmic lessons regarding your self-esteem and work. you’ll finally be able to reach happiness and fulfill your soul when you start having an organized schedule, which allows you to balance both your hobbies and work.

🤔 major transits analysis / april 22

the sun is currently transiting in your aries 7th house, exactly conjunct your jupiter. you could be feeling very needy lately, but very optimistic as well. you want to be with people, maybe with your loved ones, you feel like you need a lot of care and attention and as a result you're literally craving human interactions. you may get angry or disappointed easily though, as you could be quite impulsive as well, so beware of that. jupiter, on the other hand, is in your 5th house; you may be lacking discipline in these days, perhaps you tend to procrastinate as you feel quite tired and you have to relax. of course it's ok to take some time for yourself, but remember to be responsible as well; hard work pays off.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you! -libramc