#I don’t even think I explicitly said that lmao

[eugeniedanglars]

some of you need to learn to be less personally offended by writers saying “canon is just the things that explicitly happen in the show/book/movie”

[reasonandempathy]

The weird radical/revolutionary politic larpers on this site are so allergic to political pragmatism I swear lmao. I am definitely left of the Democratic Party and I am certainly voting for Joe Biden in November. Not because I like him (I don’t). He is absolutely horrific on Gaza and that’s only the top (and priority considering there is a genocide going on there) of a list of complaints I have about him. I even voted uncommitted in my state’s presidential primary (the Pennsylvania one; I had to write it in) to protest. However, I’m still thinking pragmatically. Trump has said things that make me credibly think he will be worse on Gaza (insane that being worse on Gaza than Biden is possible but it is unfortunately), and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Project 2025, the potential for him to appoint more deeply conservative justices, more of his aggressively screwing over poor and middle class people with his tax policies. And does anyone else remember the spike in hate crimes after the race was called for him in 2016? Before he was even inaugurated? Whether people vote or not in November we will still have to deal with one of these two men in office come January unless all of the internet ancom larpers overthrow the government by then (doubt), so I’d rather deal with the one who will be marginally less bad and who didn’t try to overthrow the government. Can’t have your revolution if nobody’s alive cause you kept pushing off politically participating because there was no perfect option. 👍

Political pragmatist anon, sorry for ranting in your askbox but I feel like I lose brain cells watching these people talk. The other day I saw someone say Biden is bad because Roe v. Wade fell under his administration… even though the reason for that was Trump appointed justices. 💀 (2/2)

Fucking insane. Sincerely.

It's a completely, flatly binary choice for anyone with a brain stem and sincerity. It's distilled into the two below images:

Where all major third party candidates are even on the ballot

How many electoral votes the largest of those (green party, a.k.a. Jill Stein) would win if they won every single state they're on the ballot for.

They are literally, legally, incapable of winning the election. They are not on enough state ballots to win and Jill Stein would need to somehow win California and Texas to even "win" all the states they're on the ballot for. Which, again, would still not be enough to win the presidency and throw it to the currently existing Republican House of Representatives. Which would put Trump in office.

It's that straightforward. That simple. That BLARINGLY obvious to literally everyone except these people.

On the one hand you have:

Significant and continuous support for Israel and it's genocide

Record levels of pardons for low-level drug offenses

the gearing up of the strongest anti-trust regime since the early 20th century

the most aggressive NLRB I've seen in my lifetime, with massive wins and institutional changes to help workers

Including getting Rail strike workers a week of sick-leave that gets paid out at the end of the year, which is better than NYC and LA sick leave laws

Millions of people (not enough) getting student debt forgiveness

Some trillion dollars (not enough)of investment in renewable resources and infrastructure

Proposed taxes on unrealized capital gains (a.k.a. how billionaires never have any money but can still buy Kentucky, Iowa, and Twitter)

Effectively an end to overdraft fees

The explicit support of leftist world leaders like Lula de Silva. Who he has explicitly worked with to expand worker rights in South America.

Has capped (some, not enough, only a tiny amount really but it's something) some drug prices, including Insulin.

Reduced disability discrimination in medical treatment

Billions in additional national pre-k funding

Ending federal use of private prisons

Pushing bills to raise Social Security tax thresholds higher to help secure the General Fund

Increasing SSI benefits

and more

vs

Said Israel should just nuke Gaza and "get it over with"

Personally takes pride in and credit for getting Roe v Wade overturned

Is arguing in court that the President should be allowed to assassinate political rivals

Muslim Ban Bullshit, insistently

Actively damages our global standing and diplomatic efforts just by getting obsessed with having a Big Button

Implemented massive tax cuts on ich people, tax hikes on middle class and poor people, and actively wants to do it again

"Only wants to be a dictator for a little bit, guys, what's the big deal"

Is loudly publicly arguing that the US shouldn't honor its military alliances after-the-fact

Tore up an effective and substantial anti-nuclear-proliferation treaty with Iran

Had a DoEd that actively just refused to process student debt forgiveness applications that have been the law of the land for decades now

Has a long record of actively curtailing and weakening the NLRB and labor movement, including allowing managers to retaliate against workers, weakened workplace accommodation requirements for disabled people, and more

Rubber stamped a number of massive mergers building larger, more powerful top companies and increasing monopolistic practices

Fucking COVID Bullshit and hundreds of thousands of unnecessary deaths

Openly supporting fascists and wannabe-bootlicks ("Very fine people" being only the beginning of it

It's really not fucking close.

[angelsdean]

not 2 be a clown but i really Do in my heart of hearts believe that destiel was supposed to go canon more explicitly with, if not full reciprocation from dean, then at least very obvious subtextual reciprocation. and that’s why everything is so messy in the last two eps. like i think about LAMP and that whole dance sequence and the subtext was THERE. dean’s aborted confession in the trap. dean questioning what’s real and the answer being ‘we are.’ it was all THERE and building. the confession, as much as we love it, was choppy as FUCK. it was badly edited, the shots are all over the place, extreme close-ups jumping to wide shots. the goddamn shove to the wrong wall. not good cinematography. and we know a lot of dean’s reactions were cut. we pretty much figured out the ‘don’t do this cas’ was supposed to come before the ‘i love you.’ we know cas was supposed to be in the last two eps. we Know he was meant to be in the finale. and i have Never bought the “jimmy” explanation for that either. i’m sorry but that does not make sense at all and it’s 100% in my opinion a lie they told to keep fans from being even more enraged abt cas being cut from the finale. like if he was never meant to actually be there then ok fine, sucks but ok. but if cas WAS meant to be there and they CUT HIM ??? RAGE !!!! like it makes no sense to bring back jimmy for the series finale even if they wanted to go the super tragic route like....noah fence to jimmy but who tf is thinking abt jimmy novak in 2020. and esp since cas was supposedly out of the empty and had ‘helped’ rebuild heaven....he’d literally be there !! people lie ok and they lied abt that jimmy ending lmao. esp after misha said there was ‘another ending’ where cas is in the roadhouse with dean and it’s in sam’s pov meaning years after dean died, meaning they’ve been in heaven together a long time at this point. anyways, my third eye is open and i’ve Seen the truth and i Know the real ending (which still would not have been great at all bc they’d be DEAD) involved dean and cas together at the roadhouse (i saw you funko pops) being no-so-subtextually flirty and sam showing up and kansas the band plays while deancas play footsies at the bar. but the see-double-yew killed it bc they suck and hate love. but i SAW it. i know it’s real. apollo prophecy ball hit me. 

[catholic-character-tournament]

Semi-Finals - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Sister Michael

She drives a DeLorean. She does judo on Fridays. She likes a good statue and despises the French. Her full nun name is Sister George Michael, after the guy from Wham!. She is the fiercest nun you’ll ever come across and, if you’re attending Lady Immaculate College, she’s the woman in charge. So whatever you do, if you’re feeling anxious or worried or just need a chat: don’t come crying to her.

joined the nunnery for the free accommodation?

she does love a good statue it has to be said

She is the headmistress of a catholic school <3

sister michael so reminds me of the nuns who taught me. they're tough and sometimes a little harsher than a woman who dedicated her life to god should be but they're also wonderful people. i had a nun teacher who was 60 years old and would do handstands. another nun (also in her 60s) told me god was nonbinary. another was really mean and made me cry. (so did the handstand nun.) while the catholic girls school is The Catholic Experience, the school wouldn't have been the same for me or the derry girls without at least one nun who seemed to have sprung up out of the ground fully formed, ageless.

Shadow

In sonic destruction (the AI generated fan thing snapcube made a while ago) shadow was catholic or something which I think is reallyyyyyyy funny

Ok listen. I know this is a stretch but hear me out. He says “oh my God” in the Twitter takeovers so we know this is a possibility. I see him as a Christ-like figure because I saw his whole confrontation with Mephiles and was like “this is a thing that happened in the Bible??” and the pose Mephiles shows him in is literally like a crucifixion and Mephiles is meant to be a demon / false prophet reference. And also he’s called a demon in Shadow The Hedgehog 2005 then the guy who calls him that is like “I was wrong I’m sorry” and that also reminds me of a thing with Jesus in The Bible. But the biggest reason is his whole thing with Maria cause I think he’d come to earth and hear Ave Maria once and convert to Catholicism idk he’s like we’re comforted by a female familial figure named Mary sometimes called Maria?? And her color is blue????? Heck yeah I’m in because I Will Cry. Also feel free to share this as propaganda obv even if he doesn’t get in the bracket just. It’s funny.

I feel like he’d battle a lot with being seen or portrayed as a demon and how the aliens he’s related to very much look and act like demons idk lmao- and also I feel like confession would just be good for him I think he needs it for his mental health

There is a debate on the lovely website tunblr that Shadow T. Hedgehog is an allegory for Jesus Christ.

He is Jesus, idk what to tell you. He lived, he was sealed away, he was awakened again and deemed the ultimate lifeforms, he’s angry but not evil, does what he believes is best for people and the world at any given time. Total loser.

Vote for Shadow the Hedgehog

There seems to be some confusion in the notes. He is Catholic. It may not be explicit, but it can be inferred.

Shadow was created by Professor Gerald Robotnik, and for the early part of his life, lived with Gerald and his granddaughter, Maria Robotnik.

Robotnik is not a made-up name. Google Search results may only bring up pages related to the Robotniks of the Sonic the Hedgehog series, however, it is a rarely used Polish surname. Poland is a historically Catholic nation, and… come on. Maria is the most Catholic name ever. The Robotniks are Catholic. Shadow was created and raised by Catholics.

Now you may be wondering to yourself: Does Catholicism even exist in Sonic? The answer is yes, at least in the Archie comics, where Protestants are explicitly mentioned.

64.media.tumblr.com

Couple this with the fact that several characters, including Shadow, have canonically taken the Lord’s name in vain, it is reasonable to infer that Christianity, and therefore Catholicism, exists.

So… while Shadow’s own religious beliefs may not have been explicitly addressed… at minimum:

Catholic is a cultural designation that Shadow will always be allowed to claim based on the family that made him.

Whether he’d actually want to claim that designation is a different conversation, but the other propaganda does a fine job of explaining why it may be appropriate to headcanon him as a practicing Catholic.

Now that we’ve established that Shadow has as much of a right to be in this tournament as anyone else, there’s one very important reason you should vote for him:

It would be funny if he won.

Thank you.

64.media.tumblr.com

Essays are done!! Here’s some Shadow propaganda because the propaganda we currently have sucks and I need to fix that. While yes, Shadow being Catholic is a meme, there is more to outside of the simple “fandub said so” and its not quite stated its Catholicism but just how he behaves and his actions. There’s a lot of Sonic content so I will try to keep this brief. Gonna get headcanons out of the way.

Shadow is Chilean and so are Maria and Gerald Robotnik because I fucking say so and they’re Catholic. He definitely had un rosario next to his like. Bed or test tube whatever he slept in. So did Maria btw. Alright let’s move on because I am 100% correct.

Let’s start with some background for Shadow. Shadow was created as a cure for a girl called Maria and he grew to care for her as a sister and loved her deeply. He was artificially created but still holds a soul that is similar to Maria’s. Long story short, Maria is killed protecting Shadow who watches as she’s shot in front of him. He has his memories tampered by Maria’s grandfather, Gerald, who manipulates him into carrying out revenge on the Earth, even if Shadow ends up as collateral.

Shadow struggles with frequent identity crises, even before Maria’s death and always wondered what his purpose was, what he was made to do. Was he a weapon? Was he a cure? He’s the Ultimate Lifeform, but what does that truly mean? ? He’s Shadow, but what more is there to him? He doesn’t know what his purpose is other than what others have prescribed to him, and he guides himself through the will of others (something that he breaks through afterwards but not yet). Shadow at his core is self-sacrificing and constantly punishes himself. This is where you can see some of that good old guilt that everyone has been using as propaganda, but we also see someone who is giving and kind.

He is snarky in the game, especially when interacting with Sonic, but he’s having what is essentially an ongoing mental breakdown but keeps moving because it is his duty to his sister. He doesn’t believe himself important enough to continue on after her and sees it in himself to act out on “Maria’s wishes”. After the revelation that Maria’s final wish for Shadow was for him to make those on Earth happy and to protect them, he immediately sacrifices himself to do so.

Okay, that’s a lot and you’re probably asking “Okay, you mentioned he is a giving person and yeah he has guilt, but that’s not really Catholicism” and yes you would be right! So let’s go into the more important part of being Catholic. The charity, the community, the kindness, etc. Shadow is a very reserved person and has the habit of being a dumb teenager because well. Yeah. Anyways, he definitely has a soft spot for those he cares about and while his whole arc (in my opinion) is about finding the freedom of self-autonomy, it is also Shadow growing as a person and deciding not to save people because others have told him he needs to, but because he wants to. It is born from his soul and its his nature to care for people. It is who he is, and he knows it now. He’s not doing it because he’s a hero or because he is told to do so. Shadow is a very giving person and I think people tend to forget about that especially due to bad writing from the past decade or so. He is also stated to help out at food shelters and volunteers a lot. He is proud and a bit prickly, but he cares so deeply about those he loves. He is stronger with his loved ones and will always do his best to protect them. These are minor, yeah, but you don’t need sweeping and enormous acts to get attention for the good deeds you do. Most of what you apply of Catholicism is done at the personal level, between your friends, family, and community.He also goes to Mass whenever he can and if he can’t he goes to the capilla and also does the sign of the cross whenever he runs by a church. Cutting this off because this is already 740-ish words and I had to send these across multiple asks I am so sorry Catholic mod

[littlerosette]

What I love about your messy!Katniss fanfics is on the other side is Peeta also being messy. The fandom may overlook it but he’s just as messy as Katniss. Mr. “Refuses to listen at the train station” “was that the only time you’ve kissed Gale” “acts like her boyfriend at the training center despite thinking she may have chosen Gale” “stops his argument so he can make out with Katniss in their underwear”. And Hijacked Peeta once he isn’t murderous is Peeta at his worst. Literally her complimentary guy

dude totally. i’ve said this time and time again but the only reason that the perception of peeta within this fandom is so golden is because our reading of him is explicitly colored by katniss’s adoration. he— quite literally— is katniss’s ideal of what a good person is because of the bread, and even when he has moments where he does something messy, it’s immediately undercut by katniss thinking “this isn’t like him at all.” girl. it is like him because he just did it.

is peeta objectively the best person in the series? yes. is he also still inherently flawed? yes. this is why i don’t like readings of him where people say he’s more of a metaphor than he is an actual character. i would like to give suzanne collins more credit than to say her deuteragonist is a one dimensional jesus figure.

it’s funny that you mention my fics, too, because i just wrote this exchange between them:

and its hilarious because although katniss is currently thinking that peeta is too “good” to explore any kind of relationship with her, he’s also the one approaching her, complimenting her, asking her if she wants to hang out one on one when they initially connected with the understanding that they’d be having sex later LMAO. he’s just as messy as she is, just better at controlling it.

[girltigerclaw]

breaking into ur house rn

top ten characters and bottom ten. reasons are optional

I just finished this chart thing i think i actually stole from your blog a few months ago <3 Slightly edited to my own prefs.

If anyone wants the template check the reblogs, and feel free to add you own. I'd love to see. I'm just rambling under here:

Leafpool: She is more special and sacred than the virgin mary. She has everything. Daughter of the first protagonist, ex boyfriend for me to hate, TONS of wlw situationships<3, a lifetime of tragedy, and some of the most gorgeous canon art to exist.

Crookedstar: Crookedstar is a trans woman to me. Her life is genuinely just so tragic and fucked, I love it. The erins asked: “How much truama, death and misfortune can you fit into a single cat?” and then they wrote Crookedstar’s promise.

Tawnypelt: GIRLS WHO HATE THEIR FATHERS. The erins dont love her like I do.

Tallstar: I love old men… I fucking love seeing older characters and how much they’ve changed from their younger selves. Tallstar is considered one of, if not the most peaceful leader in the clans. But also when he was like 19 he went on a quest to fucking murder a guy :3

Cloudstar: I rlly do not care abt anyone in Skyclan(I like Leafstar but she's not a fav yknow?) Cloudstar... he was based as fuck. Why did Starclan get away with this shit for real??

Scourge: It’s fucking Scourge. He’s awesome

Briarlight: I’m disabled and I love her. She has such a consistent fun, sweet personality and she makes me happy!!<3

RavenBarley: It deserves all the attention and hype it gets. Though I wish mlm ships didn’t overshadow wlw ones in this fandom, RavenBarley is genuinely well written and makes me very emotional even if the publisher didnt allow it to be explicitly canon.

CrookedBlue: TRANS WOMEN CROOKEDSTAR YURI. Two leaders having a forbidden relationship and kits is way more interesting than Oakheart. The angst of Crooked and Blue sitting next to eachother every gathering while the entire forest has their eyes on them. Don’t look for too long, don’t let the mourning slip into your voice. You have to pretend your lover is a stranger. You… have become strangers. You can never be together again. You're enemies now. This is what we wanted, isn’t it? …We’ll never be happy again.

Mothwing: Her novella delving into her relationship with Hawkfrost was so good and heartbreaking.

Heathertail: Daughter of leader, sister of a major villian, and former love interest of a protagonist! Why did she fall off the second po3 ended. She’s shown to be very compassionate and willing to put her own feelings aside for the sake of others. Would’ve honestly prefered her as a mate to Lionblaze or get a pov herself over the nothing we got.

Blackstar: *Murders an elderly woman trying to stop me from kidnapping children. Supports a dictator openly abusing/neglecting children and the elderly. Murders a man for refusing to kill mixed raced children- then tells said man’s sister that she will never be safe.* Man…. i sure do feel bad for abusing and killing all of those people…. Good thing I will face no consequences and proceed to be made leader, where I will have even more power over the wellbeing of others.

I hate. This guy.

The New Prophecy: A classic. My first series was actually tnp! i feel more attached to first arc cats tho, if you couldn't already tell by my list lmao

Johanna Map- Best Tawnypelt content out there

BlueQuince: My personal handcrafted, homemade Yuri. Bluefur feels terrible about Tiny going missing and promises Quince she’ll help her find him. They never did, but they had a very… fleeting but intimate relationship. Quince is grieving and Bluefur feels so overwhelmed by the duties in her clan. They’ve always thought of eachother since but never met again.

Tigerclaw: My name sake<3 The angst of his earlier life is so, so facinating to me. Starclan being straight fucked up and decided killing him is their only option? He was a kid and they saw him as a lost cause from the start. They never tried any other methods, never tried to steer him in the right direction or… even just take it into their own hands and kill him themself, which they have SHOWN they’re capable of.

They watched all the the horrific crimes he commited, entirely aware they were going to happen. Thats. Fucking. Horrifying. Starclan is scary as shit… and his death? FANTASTIC. I only wish he’d gotten lives from cats he killed so that him coming back to life to suffer over and over was an actual curse from Starclan and not blessings. They knew how he would die and they gave him the lives to torture him for his sins…

Flywhisker: Adhd girlies. Painfully relate to that feeling of the constant scolding for never being “good enough” because I prefer to do things a certain way or struggle to focus. So, SO happy for her when she left the clans! You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone! Hope she’s happy and warm indoors with her brother💕

(P.S. I was very suprised to find she actually had an official art piece!)

Bluestar: Get behind me women with mental disorders. I will defend you. Beautifully complex and tragic character, my favorite written in the series. Literally can't think of a single other female character in handled as seriously and with the complexity of Bluestar. (Although her super edition was a bit of an L with how others treated her, it ultimately makes her breakdown even more painful.)

Exile from Shaodwclan: Nightstar my beloved! He's such a great guy. The rightful leader of Shadowclan, always and forever.

Ravenpaw's Farewell: HE DIED IN BARLEY'S ARMS, TELLING HIM HE WILL FIND HIM, NO MATTER WHERE HE IS. FUCK.

Crookedstar art: So beautiful. I genuinely think she's one of the prettiest cats in the series. This along with her official art by Wayne Mcloughlin.

Leopardstar: As a kid I hated her and loved Blackfoot, now I hate Blackfoot and love her. #feminism. But seriously I think she has way more going for her than he ever has. Her father is a medicine cat who hates violence, the DRASTIC change in Riverclan's view of outsiders upon Crookedstar's death and her leadership. Her already having a position of power before proving she's unworthy of it. (Unlike Blackstar who gets rewarded for his racism and violence by being made leader afterwards) and the fact she has to interact with her victims on a daily basis after what she did.

The writings attempts to redeem her are really lame and dismissive of the actually damage she did, but at the very least they TRIED to do something else with her. Personally, I would have loved to see her assassinated by Mistyfoot. Just like her mother Bluestar was almost killed all those moons ago by Tigerclaw... The parallels of violence for power and violence for peace. A victim repeating the actions of the very man who killed her brother to put an end to what he started in Riverclan.... A shadow in Riverclan, if you will. (<-Pretending erin hunter has hired me to rewrite their series)

Windclan: Tunneling as a concept and inviting outsiders into their clan so friendly and casual makes the clan seems so much more diverse than the others. It always stuck out to me!

Andddd there are my current warrior cat options as of 2023! If someone actually read this whole ramble ily<3

[zukosdualdao]

okay i should have said this when i was still on the beach lmao but.

something else about the beach is that i feel like it’s part of where this weirdly accepted fanon in certain corners of the fandom that zuko was like, part of the friend group between azula, ty lee, and mai and that is just… not actually true. and i don’t think the episode even really suggests that it is.

it can be immediately countered by the fact that they are explicitly on a “forced vacation”, and zuko quite loudly does not want to be there. we never otherwise see zuko choosing to spend time with all three of them in the first half of book three.

and in fact, the only other time we see him spending time with them is also against his will, as it happens in the flashback in zuko alone when azula uses ursa’s desire for her children to get along to coerce zuko into playing with them (for the explicit purpose of humiliating him, which zuko knows and is why he didn’t want to in the first place.)

it seems very clear to me that in young childhood, mai and ty lee were azula’s friends, and any time zuko spent with them was incidental and not by his own choice. of course, this changes when he and mai begin dating, but he is just… not part of this dynamic in a way i’ve seen some fanworks act like he is.

[tamed-kratts]

★ Stargazer ★

Chris Kratt x Reader

Warnings: very tiny angst, miscommunication, putting pollen in the warnings cuz of allergies 😡

Summary: Chris, your current crush, has been ignoring you for a month. You’re about to find out why.

A/N: Never explicitly says reader is female and no pronouns are used but I write my readers to act kinda feminine so beware. Although, this one is pretty neutral. Also Chris would totally just dip the second he has a crush on someone LMAO. One more thing, i low-key diss cats at one point in this fic but don’t be mistaken. I love them.

It had been another warm summer day in North America, a humid breeze flew into the Tourtuga and in your nose as you lay in your reclining chair while staring at your phone screen. There wasn't much going on, the rest of your crew had been looking at some bug they found, you weren’t all that interested, you didn't think anyone would even notice your disappearance. But someone did.

Chris walked into the Tortuga timidly, avoiding eye contact with you as he hurriedly went to his own room, his steps were quick and he made a beeline down a hallway in the large turtle ship. Normally, you wouldn’t fret over one of the kratt brothers acting suspicious, since they were always up to something, but lately you felt as though Chris had been acting especially strange. Around one month ago, he started avoiding you. If you walked in the same room as him, he would make some lame excuse like “I have to go organize the gear.” before running out the room to the garage, leaving you and whoever he was previously talking to. It was pathetic, you had actually grown a small crush on him and it was tearing you apart to have him just pretend you didn’t exist.

He was a big factor to why you didn’t bother trying to hang out with the crew today, you didn’t really feel up to hanging out with your crush who obviously hated your guts.

A new pair of foot steps walked in, they were heavier and louder, it was Martin. “Hey, Y/n, ‘sup?” Martin, unlike his brother, did enjoy your company. He often went out of his way to ask how you were and about your well being. He reminded you of a dog, curious of its owner's whereabouts after a long day of work. You guess that made Chris a cat, one that hissed and bit you if you pet it for a second too long and hated you for the rest of its life. "Nothing, how are you?" You said.

“I’m good, me and Chris came inside to get changed. We’re covered in pollen and Koki said if we don’t get into some clean clothes she’ll leave us here, heh.” He laughed, but knowing Koki, she was probably serious. Looking at him, you realized his usually white shirt was now stained yellow and his blue blazer had spots green on them. "But I'm sure Chris told you all about it and probably more."

You sighed, "No, he didn’t. Chris probably wouldn’t even stay in the same room as me if he was suffocating and my skin produced oxygen." You rolled your eyes, annoyed by Chris’ childish behavior.

"What are you talking about?" Martin said, turning his head curiously.

"Chris hasn't spoken a word to me in almost a month, and when I walk into a room, he bolts out before I can even look at him." You said this a lot less confident than the last time you talked, mostly out of fear of how Martin would react. Martin just stared at you as a smile slowly grew on his lips, as if he was plotting something.

"Huh, well, I have NO idea AT ALL why that would be happening, heh…" He scratched the back of his neck before backing up to the main exit of the Tortuga. "If I were you, I'd ask him about flowers."

"Flowers?" You tilted your head as if you were confused if you heard him correctly. Chris had never shown an interest in flowers unless they had something to do with an animal. But just flowers by themselves?

"Yup, flowers. Specifically a Stargazer Lily.” He smirked and ran back outside.

“Martin, wait!” You yelled. “You didn’t change your shirt…” Sighing, you went back on your phone for a few minutes before Chris left his room.

“Chris?” He sped up. “Chris!” You jumped out of your seat and ran towards him, barely catching his arm. Standing next to him with your arm wrapped around his, you realized he didn’t have on his green fleece jacket like usual. It was slung on his shoulder lazily, probably to get out of the Tortuga as quickly as possible.

"Can we talk?" His posture stiffened up and he looked away from you, it kinda put you at ease knowing you weren't lying under his judgmental gaze. But it made you wonder what excuse he was plotting.

You squeezed his arm tighter. "Please." He had looked down, embarrassed and shamefully, before nodding his head. "Yeah. Sure."

Slowly, you let go of his arm; to your own dismay. You both walked over to your desk, he pulled up a chair across from you. Just like he did before he stopped talking to you, you felt bittersweet.

"So…what bug are you checking out?"

Still, he avoided eye contact. "Honey Bees, nothing special."

"What have you learned from them?" You asked; partially curious, mostly to just talk.

"Well, they communicate through scent and dance. They also are a matriarchal led society, so there's only a handful of male bees in a hive."

"That's cool." An awkward pause was held between you both, it was probably the most uncomfortable silence you had ever sat in.

He stood up, his hand supporting himself on the chair as he got back on his feet. "If that's all, you wanted to talk about, the-"

"Why are you ignoring me? Did I offend you or something? If I did, why didn't you tell me?"

He stared at you like you were crazy. “What?”

“You aren’t talking to me and every time I walk in a room you leave, you don’t look at me and you just tried to run outside!” He got tense, but you didn’t notice and continued ranting. “I really miss you, I thought we were friends. That’s why I thought you’d come to me if I did something wrong but you never did and I- ugh! Do you know how much I miss you? I really like you!” Covering your mouth to stop the flow of word vomit, you gasped. Chris wore a shocked expression too and his cheeks began to flush. “I-I mean like, I like your company…”

You were going to try and explain yourself further, but Chris had already begun speaking. “I don’t hate you or anything I just-“ he sighed heavily “…Do you remember a few weeks back, when we snuck out of the tortuga?” You recalled the event, it was the last time you two spoke before Chris went on his silence strike.

You heard of a few constellations being incredibly visible in the sky at the time. So you and him had planned to meet at the top of the tortuga that night to stargaze. You both agreed to not invite anyone else, just you two and your shared interests. You stayed up there for hours, talking about nothing in particular.

“I used to wanna be an astronaut when I was a kid, y’know? My childhood room is covered in space stuff. I even used to have my own telescope.” You reminisced about going out on summer nights and looking at the moon.

He chuckled. “I'm not surprised, you knew a lot about the moon when me and Martin got stuck on it that one time.” He remembered how you couldn’t stop ranting about moon folklore. “You also have a lot of space stickers in that binder you let me borrow. Plus you had a minor in astronomy in college.”

You stared at him, amazed. “You remember all that?” You said, surprised anyone would pay that much attention to you. His cheeks grew a light shade of red.

“Uh yeah, we spend a lot of time together. How could I not.”

“Oh. Yeah…” you said, staring back up at the sky, the Sagitta constellation, amazed at its beauty. Meanwhile, Chris stared at you.

“It's so beautiful.”

“Yeah…stunning…”

The next day, Chris was talking to Martin about the conversation you both had last night. He said he felt strange at the end. And in Martin fashion, he yelled “You’re in love!” Chris brushed it off at first, but everytime he looked at your face that word echoed in his skull.

“Love, love, love…” He couldn’t even look at you without feeling like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. And looking at you now was hard. Your face was flushed and your eyes were awestruck.

“Is that…really why? You aren’t just messing with me, right?” He choked on his own words.

“I- No! I know it's stupid! I just-…you’re really nice and pretty and you always listen when I talk. I couldn’t help but fall for you.” His chocolate brown eyes were completely honest. You leaned forward and cupped one side of his face with your hand.

“I am…so happy you said that.” The kiss was soft and kind, you both melted into each other's grasp as you enjoyed the warmth of one another’s skin. When you pulled away, he smiled kindly and leaned in for another kiss.

“Hold on, lover boy,” You said, covering his mouth with your hand. “I asked Martin about this and he said to mention some flowers called stargazer lilies, what’s that about?” He cringed for a second and held his face in one hand.

“Please don’t make me say it…”

“You haven’t talked to me in a month, you owe me this.” He sighed in defeat.

“I was going to get you these flowers I found because they reminded me of you. I was going to give them to you but I got…nervous and I…”

“…you?”

“I stuffed them into this vent. Martin saw and told on me to Aviva. Then, she asked what I was doing with flowers and Martin told her that I liked you. After that, they’ve been trying to matchmake me with you. I'm pretty sure Jimmy and Koki know also…”

“We do!” Said a voice from outside. Looking in the doorway, you saw your fellow crew members peeking inside to invade you both.

“Smooth, bro!” Martin said, giving his steaming brother a thumbs up before running off while being chased by him. The rest of the crew crowded around you to ask you about your relationship with Chris.

“What can I say? I like looking at stars.”

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

"You don't know my name, do you? Will you ever?"

Summery: beomgyu keeps his promises--he walks you from and sometimes to work, hangs out there with you. its all very comfortable and usual for the both of you. he even orders the same thing every time he comes in: your wonderful hot chocolate you make him. noting is new, its all been done before a thousand times between the two of you. why? you and Beomgyu have been friends for ever. that's great. You and him have also become a sort of... intertwined. more than just being together; youve grown together. also great. but what happens when you do something out of the ordinary? or rather, maybe the two of you stop keeping your promises and let the feelings youve pushed down so hard you feel like youre about to combust bubble up? also great.

a/n: long hair gyuuuuuu based on 'you don’t know my name'!!!!! its one of my favorite (if not my singular favorite) song by her. and besides... come on y'all, its beomgyu so I had to lol. yerin and I talked about this during he 300 subs special (even though SHE doesn't seem to remember it lmao) so here I am holding up my end of the deal and making my fic based on this song. if you liked it please leave some love such as commenting and or reblogging!

warnings/info: slow burn I guess, kissing, reader and Beomgyu go to a party, mentions of people fucking, Beomgyu gets in an extremely heated argument with a complete stranger at said party, I feel like I ranted a bit too much with the fic, a little poem-ish at times I think, reader and gyu are scared to go into uncharted territory with thier friendship, lots and lots and lots of talk of reader and beomgyu needing to control themselves around each other, cursing, beomgyu being sweet and them slow dancing cause that's a warning in itself, one joke about beomgyu and reader fucking? idk its not said explicitly tho this was way too self indulgent I apologize, friends to lovers, reader is gn.

~this is simply a piece of fiction. my imagination onto "paper." this is in now way meant to be taken as an actual or real representation of anyone~

••••••••••••••••••••••

A sharp, wind chime sounding ping makes you spring out of your thoughts to look at the door. Your smile. Huh right on the dot. Your eyes are met with the handsome fetures of your most frequent customer: beomgyu. Hair touching the nape of his neck and eyes bright as ever despite the mugginess outside. though its not all bad-- it makes him remember how one time last winter on your usual walk-from-your-work-with-him, he had stood behind you and wrapped you in his coat, bringing you flush with his clothed chest. it was oversized on him and noting, he thinks, could have prepared him for how you melted into him.

you noticed his wandering eyes and raise you voice to snap him out of it.

“why do you look like that?” you ask. it’s slow at work right now and you say that because you don’t want him to notice your heart pounding. You know if you don’t distract him he’ll do so. He pays enough attention and knows you all too well to hide it. “oh I dunno I just went for a run. No! It’s because it’s raining buckets out there!” “Yeah YOU running? That didn’t sound right” his mouth hangs open a little "um excuse you." he puffs his chest out. "I-I run." the way he's shaking his head while speaking gives him away if you already didn't know him so well. maybe a little too well. but, you tried not to think about that too much. how you

“I’ll have the hot chocolate” he says, although you know what would fall out of his lips just the Same as last time, and the time before that. And many roles before. You know how he likes it (extra sweet. “Just like you” he says. Before you squeeze you nose) but seriously you don’t think you’ve ever known someone who liked such a sugary thing. It nearly tasting like straight candy

“not many people order hot chocolate in the summer. You sure you want that?” “Yeah, it’s a comforting drink ya know.” Something he always used to drink as a kid. Before he met you. Before he didn’t have to watch what he said around someone like you because of half giddy and half eyes to the floor bashfulness he’ll feel if he slips up and gets a little too flirty. Says something a little too strong to you. Not that you’d mind. No, not at all. But he doesn’t need to know you feel that way.

"Yeah but with everything?" you ask, still making it but wondering anyways. He leans further in, putting his hands on the table. "How come you're just asking me this now? we've been doing this for such a long time and now is when it pops into your mind that it's weird to have it with breakfast, lunch, and dinner?" you roll your eyes at him. but really, you weren't annoyed at all. the truth was you awaited the never-the-same times he'd come in and order that same, warm and comforting drink. (it depend on his classes, and or what he had to do inbetween) It had gotten on the point where one of the other workers there would tap your shoulder and let you know that he was there when you didn't notice.

"your guy is here." one of the workers there would tell you. In a moment of weakness, beomgyu would pop into your mind and your eyes would go wide as you looked for him. "he's not my guy." you'd try and cover your tracks but with the knowing smile on your work friends face as they walked away, you knew it wasn't any use.

"we've been doing this forever." his words rung in your ears. he was right. you had been. you'd both been seeing each other so much and resisting the bubbling urge to kiss the shit out of each other. You'd been inching dangerously close to him, but never as close as you really wanted and craved, the warmth of his heart ghosting your skin... forever. he'd been avoiding your gaze-- the one that made him feel like all the four seasons were swirling up inside him and somehow all their wonder landing in you, seeping out in all the little things you did... forever. To be honestly, neither of you knew how long you could keep this up.

but here you are, thinking of and loving noting more than seeing his eyes fill with excitement as you hand him the mug. he cups it with both his hands even though it isn't cold inside so it wasn't like he needed to warm his hands. "You know, you should just keep your own mug here." you comment. he looks up at you, about to take a sip and obviously not very happy you interrupted his almost-bliss. though, in his mind, it wasn't that different-- no, it could not compare to the feeling he got around you. "Or maybe I should just bring one with me." he jokes, lips pursing to blow the steam off the surface of the delicious smelling drink. "Yeah," you nod, "and bring a plate while you're at it-- you know what," you lean on the counter in front of him, knuckles going under your chin and fingertips folded enough to touch the beginning of your palm. And he'd rather not look at you through the fog emanating from the porcelain mug so he puts it down, leaning in for dramatic effect. "Better yet, take it with you when you leave so I don't have to wash it!" you eyes go wide and you throw your hands up like you just had the best idea of the century-- better than sliced bread.

he puts a hand to his chest, leans back with his mouth hung wide open, and then gets up with his hands to his head pulling at his hair like he just had an epiphany. you laugh freely as he walks around in a circle. once he's back at the counter he slams his hands down on the edge of it and looks all serious. "You've got it, y/n! this is gonna make history!" he exclaims. You take a bow just for kicks and when you come back up his expression has suddenly changed. its gone much... softer, a smile is tugging at his lips and he can't help it but to let it free once he sees your smiling face again... smiling because of him, too. because of the joy you two make together. its unmatched, really. His fingertips feel flushed like his face, and aren't holding on so tightly to the cold metal edge of the counter. he's leaning in now, for what reason he doesn't really know. damn, he wants and fucking needs to be closer to you. he feels it in his core.

Then, he makes the mistake of looking into your eyes and in an instant you send him on a whirlwind. usually he distracts himself and looks at something else but he just couldn't bring himself to this time. He wants to set up an easel and capture your entire expression right here but your eyes... your eyes he's sure made his plan he's trying to stick to of not getting caught in your gaze. or, better yet, not getting caught gazing at you. but, for someone he knows so well and for so long, it wasn't easy. because, every time you speak, every time he looks at you, every time he even thinks of you, his mind starts to cloud with all the goodness he sees inside you. every inch of your mind he knows and all the other filled up spaced he wants to adventure into.

How could he stop his mind from getting tied up in the wonder of a human that was you? He sure couldn't, and nobody in their right mind would be able to. He snaps himself out of his thinking before you can think to do it yourself. Lord knows if you caught him spacing out at a time like this you'd give him one of your infamous smacks on the ears and he'd shriek so loud out of surprise people outside would hear him. "You're making me waste valuable time on drinking this." he chuckled, holding a finger up to you to signal: one minute, as he takes a few big gulps. he puts the cup down and leans back.

"one of your best, y/n." he complements.

you raise an eyebrow. "Oh? so there's a hierarchy and competition for best of y/ns hot chocolate now? if I would've known I would've made it look all cute." you said, getting back to work behind the counter. the place was pretty dead at the moment but there was still a few things needing tone done. "Come to think of it, I should deduct points for not putting a cinnamon heart on the surface." he wonders aloud. "Oh so just a heart would suffice? noting else?" you ask him. "well why not?" he nearly giggles, "Thought you loved me." You simply smile and roll your eyes at him, not really having the opurtunity to have any type of conversation like that here. although you wanted to. and it didn't really have to go the way you intended it. but if he-- or the both of you for that matter, were gonna go there, then you might as well and a full on sit down talk about it. again not that you didn't want to at all-- in fact, you'd thought about how it'd go down plenty more times then truly necessary. And what better place to have it in than where you two had met?

maybe it was just you making excuses for yourself; for putting it off just one more day. one more week. one more month. or basically one more eternity of longing stares and cut of sentences where, you wanna say more but ultimately fail to. the conversation now seemingly over, he shrugs and finishes his drink.

He stays and orders another extra extra sweet, practically caffeinated, slap you in the face to jolt you into operating at top speed crack drink that was his or your signature hot chocolate. this is a habit of his-- one he'd likely have to break soon if this floating feeling of his keeps up and un-in check. but a habit the both of you cherish-- where he comes in and stays until you have to leave. most of the time you don't even get to talk much. but the comfort that comes right along with your presence around each other makes up for it. thats another habit with the two of you: just being in the same room and doing different things. it was pure comfort just being around each other. maybe looking over and smiling at the other or striking up a conversation that could last a minute or the rest of time he was there or in other situations, the rest of time you'd were together-- however long you both wanted it, really. and it was never awkward, either. the silence never aching.

that's how it was when you first started walking back to your respective places after your shift. another habit of his, one you hope, along with the others, would never die. him staying for a while, talking a bit... or a lot with you, then walking together. usually it was him walking you home but others it'd just be whatever you two wanted that day. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his acid washed jeans when you look over at him.

"Did you grow or something?" you question.

"maybe you shrunk, hm?" he countered.

you narrowed your eyes at him. he turns to you and does the same. "Very adult of you." You scoff. "You started--" then, realizing that continuing to say was he was going to wasn't going to help his case in the slightest. It barely falls silent for a second before he, in a moment of either weakness or some extreme courage he doesnt know, he slows down a little, gently puts his hands onto your waist, finger finding place scrunched in your shirt, and stills you. though, with the rapid beating of your heart you didn't need any help to do so. He gently moves you to the inside of the sidewalk. he doesn't know why. it's kinda stupid really. he doesn't even have a reason expect that's how you two are usually walking. but it isn't ever really intentional. Usually he just gets out the door of the diner first and you follow soon after. but he liked it that way. it felt warm and comfortable.

he clears his throat. "So, you were saying?" you look back up at him, not too stunned to speak or anything just....thinking. time still in its frozen capsule like it was a moment ago with his hands on your waist. "I feel like you've grown." you say simply, verbally shrugging. he takes a look at his own arms as if that would give him an idea as to what you're talking about. "I know you haven't but," you sigh, unsure of where you're even going with this, "I dunno you seem different." the both of you are still facing forward, not having looked at each other since a minute ago. "Is that a good thing or a bed thing?" You smile. "good. definitely good." "that's good that it's good." he laughs.

"oh piss off!" You chuckle at him, shaking you head. a second later you don't hear his steps anymore and turn around to see him saying "gladly." and start to walk in the other direction. You yell at him to get his ass back here and he turns on his heel, trotting back to you with a smile on his face, eyes hidden by his hair as he looks down. "But yeah," you say once he's back to walking beside you, "You've defiantly grown. not in height, but how you are as a person now." he hums. "I guess I can see that. you have too, you know?" you quirk and eyebrow.

"like--" he takes a breath, "You've grown... not like you act completely different now, but you've just--" you get what he's trying to say. "Blossomed?" He nods, but before he can start talking again you're already opening your mouth. "So have you. Not like you weren't someone I wanted to spend a lot of time with when were first met but you've grown into this person who-who has so much depth to them. like sure, you look a little different and youve changed your hair countless times, but I think you've bloomed in a way. And I love that you have; that you've made yourself out to be who you are right now." he purses his lips together.

"hey, it's not all me, ya know? Ive only been able to grow the way you said I have because I've got you by my side. actually, no, more than that, I've got you coaching me and trying to help. And have you taken a look In the mirror? its not just me that's grown internally since we've both met. I feel like... You're more you know than you were before. or at least not as afraid to show who you are." "that's cause I have you cheering me on, beom." he smiles at the nickname, something you've had for him forever. just like how you've been learning each other inside and out forever. But he also smiles at himself. he was your personal hype man, as you'd say, wasn't he? "And im really proud of you for flourishing like you have." he says. "Im proud of us." you counter, "for both becoming more than we were before."

all that was missing was two glasses to toast. "Yeah, and we're achieving that together, too. we have been forever. and I know that's why its unfolding so beautifully-- it takes the two of us to pull something so great off like that." you try not to get all fluttery inside by the prospect of him thinking that you're "great." cause there isn't much to it, really. plain and simple. he thinks you're great... or the journey youve taken with him so far is great or whatever... it should stop there for you. but that's the thing: with him, it never does.

It kinda hits the both of you right in the face at that moment. and you realize all you need to know about how the other person feels the same way when your caught looking at each other and saying more or less the same thing of: "wow, I think our lives are intwined now and I love that."

as the minutes go on, you both talk about some of the ways youve seen this with each other-- growing internally as youve both said. You bring up something, then him, it goes on like this until you both have a realization. "...But seriously, though." you cause, "Im glad that we're like this." "Im happy we can be like this too. and to be honest, I don't just want to be a better person, I wanna be a better person with you." he quickly cocks his head to the side, almost like he was punctuating his sentence. "I was just about to say that! I like growing with you. it's amazing. and you make me want to be better. not in a competitive way though. I just wanna move along with life with you next to me."

He puts a hand to his chest, hopping it would distract him from how fast his heart was beating. It had the opposite affect, though, drawing his attention to it under his palm. "Im glad youve been in my life for so long." he says, wondering jut how far he was going to take all this confessing how wonderful it was to have you by his side. wouldn't this make more of an impact on he both of you than just making you smile? or was he making it more than it was? he probably was to be honest; friends tell each other how much they value each other all the time. just... probably the ones who's heart feels like its about to lift him up and fly him away to the moon, stay away from it.

"And I am glad we're in each others lives to often that we can brighten each others days whenever the other needs it." he nods in agreement, not trusting himself to talk more because he'll surely say all that he thinks of you... and us. the rest of the walk is spent back in the comfortable, fireplace like silence like the first couple minutes of it. Once you get to your front door and your back is turned, he draws in a breath. "It is wonderful to have you in my life, y/n. I don't think you can understand how great it is and how much I love it." you're about to swing open your door but you turn around to look in the eye. "Me too. I love how it feels to have you by my side." you really wish you had something more to say but it seems like its enough for him. cause a second later and he's nearly skipping away from your door. You shake you head at him and go inside.

He scratches the back of his neck, thinking entirely too much about what you had said to him. There was a thousand ways you could have meant hit but for some reason he only wanted to think of it as one. the one where you actually secretly wanted to kiss him every time you hugged goodbye. One where you'd invite him into your place for hot chocolate and he'd stay, and long, long while; only really going back to his home for clothes cause fuck, if he had you like that he wouldn't dream of letting you go or leaving you for as long as he could.

God, It was almost uncanny how, you knew what to call him, but his name? that was something else entirely it felt like now.HIs own name had come to be you. that was how much you were written on his heart; written like law on stone. so engraved in his mind that he felt like you were with him all his life... except with this it was more like someone who knew him his entire life but suddenly stoped paying attention for a very important mile marker, then suddenly started up paying attention again, completely glossing over something that was so important to him. Like his name: but now youve replaced it with your own an the wasn't mad about it. and you didn't know, did you? would you ever know his name?

and, in the middle of all his swirling like a hurricane that brought peace instead of distruction, he wondered if you were ever feeling the same thing. did you think of him the way he thought of you?

He knew everything about you, as did you, he, you thought as you slipped off your shoes at the door. But you figured that, since friends need to be honest as much as they can, that wasn't entirely true. cute there was this one, not so small thing youve never shared with him. something that was such a big part of you it might as well be your name. The way you felt when he was near, when you thought of him, fuck, even when someone mentioned him. at this point, him-- and feeling this was about him was such a bug thing that it had become a part of you. he had become a part of you. and just like a name it was something you wanted and needed to tell the whole world. including him.

but there was the problem, you couldn't just scream it out for everyone to hear. that's why youve been waiting. Even though it was takin g a long time for him to figure out that big giant part of you that thad become as second nature as a name. Beomgyu was smart, but apparently he was stupid when it came to this. but seriously, with all the slip ups youve been having recently, you're starting to wonder if he's deliberately not understanding you and your feelings. Like is he that dense or does he just not want you?

You shoot him a message none the less; telling him to text when he got home unless you'll start to worry.

===

The next time you talk was on the phone on your way to work. He likes to walk you there, too. but today just happened to be one of those days where it couldn't happen. But you missed his presence on the street that reminded you of the talk you had yesterday so the next best thing was to call him. "Hey, it's the server from the diner." You say. "yeah, I know." It was a throwback to when he'd given his number to the place so he could get a free delivery. Though he was hoping you'd pick up on it and call him. and you did. you were the one who had to call to let him know his order had arrived and was currently getting cold outside his door. you had ended the call with him apologizing profusely.

One thing lead to another and you made a follow up call on how the food tasted. you heard him smiling from the other end of the phone as he says, "great as always." You barely thought he would even pick up so you didn't know what to say after that. "especially the hot chocolate." he aded then. And now you're the one smiling uncontrollably. After a few minutes on the phone that day your heart is leaping with excitement. so the next time he comes in, you talk with each other more freely. and now you had his number so when he doesn't come in for a few days you remembered mustering up the courage to text him. "I really wanted to come over there. hot chocolate would probably help cure whatever I have." you felt stupid. duh of course he was just sick, why were you so worried?

within the hour, hot chocolate was delivered to his door free of cost.

and that's when the friendship began; with him texting you an entire paragraph just to say thanks for the gesture and you two talking back and forth, heart seemingly on the edge of its seat, about hot chocolate and hot drinks in general.

"You know... our manager is always telling us to use water," you repeat now what you said all that time ago, "But I always use milk and cream for you." He's snapped back to the present, with you on the other end of the phone, wind whipping in the mic. "aww you really do care, don't cha?" he laughs, smug smile gracing his lips.he can practically hear you roll your eyes from the other end of the phone. "your welcome." you drawled. "I sincerely thank you for your sacrifice of cream and milk." he said, and it sounds like a joke, but still he's smiling in gratitude none the less. youre about to joke about how he needs to repay you... somehow. but he beats you to it. though... with the way he starts off, it doesn't sound like fully a joke. but just enough of one where he knows you'll listen.

"And as a formal expression of my forever debt to you, I invite you to attend a party with me." You figured you'd play along, his tone not serious enough for you to spend the brain power to actually think of an answer. "yeah, sure, Beom." It was about as real to you as the both of you staying completely quiet during a movie so you played along. at least, you thought you were playing. beomgyu puts his speaker of his phone up to his mouth, nearly making your ears bleed as he yells into it: "no take backs!" then promptly hangs up.

you roll your eyes at him, a little concerned for future you and him but cracking up none the less. The surprised expression on your face when he comes by later to quote "take the both of you shopping for the party the next day." was so priceless he wished he had whipped out his phone quick enough. "I keep my promises." he reminds you as he sits down at his usual bar stool. And he sure does, like the one he's been keeping, weighing on his heart for so long he feels like its going to crack it n a million pieces impossible to pick up, about just how much he feels for you. he made that promise to you to stick by you as friends for as long as you'd have him there long enough to be forgotten. but now him. he remembers it like it was yesterday and he intends to keep his word, especially to you. who knows which way it would take you if he didn't. and the last thing he needs is for you two to be torn apart.

he slumps on the counter and gives you puppy dog eyes. you sigh "No one told me you were serious. that was coercion; I did not understand the phrasing of the question, therefore--" oh, you wanted court of law? he'd give you court of law. "uh uh" he wriggles his finger in your face. "was this under a false pretense? maybe. but did that initially give you the right to call back and or ask further questions? yes. so for that reason youre guilty!" he slams an imaginary gavel down on the white counter. you turn around to take a breath. he kicks his feat. "come on, y/n! I think it'll be fun. and if not then we'll leave right away and go to my place to watch tv. and we'll get a cute outfit out of it either way!" you think about it for a moment. "I need deodorant anyways!"

well it is important not to have a stench.....

he can tell youre thinking about it and he perks up at the sight of your wheels turning behind your eyes. it was one of this favorite things-- watching you think, weigh your options and all. It wasn't like you completely didn't want to go. there was a part of you, one that was soon going to get bigger youre sure. but a part of you right now none the less. so what was stopping you? you wanted to be close to him. you loved being close to him and that meant doing things together. but in an environment like this.... it might pose a problem to lips kept tightly shut and secrets you held behind your back.

You take one last look at him, and if it's a regular response between friends or in a slip up you don't know, but you agree. he nearly jumps up out of his seat in celebration. Why did he suggest this? who knows. was this a good idea? who. the fuck. knows. maybe because he wanted to do something with you. but it was probably something more than that it the back of his mind that made him call you and ask. but he knows full well what almost happened the last time you two went to a party together. a bunch of "aww youre so cute together!" made it seem all a little too real after a while and as the night went on with him eventually stopping himself from telling the truth to these people and him getting seemingly eaten from the inside when he stopped just reviling in the fantasy and remembered that no, youre not together. The night ended somehow with you two coming dangerously close to kissing.

maybe he really just wanted to spend time with you; a sort of do-over. he could control himself this time. or maybe that's what it was... he wanted to test the waters again-- challenge himself and see if he really could have self control. or maybe, just maybe, in the back of his mind he wanted to test the waters another way. maybe he wanted to know if it'd happen again. of course he wouldn't do anything about it; he wanted to keep his promise to you but something felt like it was knocking at the back of his mind.

once your shift is done, he's got a spring in his step as he opens the door for the both of you and bouncing on his heels with a smile on his face telling you to hurry up. and no, you don't just go shopping for deodorant... but instead spend two full hours shopping around. two full hours that consisted of trying on clothes and the both of you having to bite your tongues. because fucking hell, why'd he have to have such a good style? you perk up as he steps out the dressing room for the third time, already preparing yourself for you heart seemingly about to beat out of your chest. "what do you think?" "I think..." his face sinks.... "oh--" he pouts, "no no! it looks great! its just, its white."

he quirks and eyebrow at you. "I have eyes, ya know? I did pick it out." he reminds you, nose and mouth scrunching up in that classic Beomgyu disgusted face. "spillage." you simply say. his eyebrows got up into his hairline. "youre right." the next out fit he comes out with, a little more spillage proof, is what he decides on. he takes another look in the mirror, sighing. "you really think it looks good?" he questions. "I have eyes, ya know?" you echo him. he spins around into the dressing room, away from you as quickly as possible so you didn't have to see the smile on his face and the rosy tint to his cheeks.

When it comes to you and picking out your outfits, while youre walking ahead of him to the dressing rooms, he closes his eyes, leaning his head against the wall so he can think for a moment. or... more stop himself form thinking so much than anything. he knows what he's getting himself into. but How you reacted each time he'd first appear out the dressing rooms door with that wistful glassy look in your eyes, almost like you yourself were trying to stop your gears turning.... Times like that gave him hope that maybe yeah, you felt the same way about him as he did you. because just for a short moment he saw the same look in his eyes that they had on him now; trying so hard to stop thinking about you. you, you, you, you.

"I think a round of applause is in order!" you say.-- twenty minutes in. twenty minutes of him bouncing his leg. twenty minutes of you hiding the way his complements make you feel. twenty minutes of the second you shut the door behind you him screaming internally into his palms and twenty minutes of you doing the same. he smiles at you when you come out. "I know. we have good taste." his cheeks seem to be nearly kissing at his lashes as he smiles and he's driving you crazy. "We do, don't we?" you take another look in the mirror.

"You really think it's--" Youre starting to stress over if the outfit really is worth the buy. you like it a lot. but now youre starting to wonder if its a little too little here or too much there and-- "I have eyes, don't I?" he repeats, you turn around and lock eyes with him for just a second too long not to do anything to the both of your heart rates.

===

fast forward to the next night and youre swinging your door open to see him turned the other way. he spins around as soon as he hears the door. You press your lips together and he unconsciously mimics you. "you look really beautiful!" he beams. he's just being your personal hype man as always, and youre not afraid to say that you love it. "Aw you look really beautiful too."

the words slipped past both of your lips like water through fingers. though, unlike water, the words were thick, with feelings long left in the dark hiding behind them. "Oh? so just beautiful? not really--" You step out toward him, closing the door behind you, making you step just a little bit too close to him than usual. "really really beautiful." you clarified. and this time, he doesn't move his head. "thank you." he whispers, voice softer than his hair. and the both of you are unable to move from your doorstep-- frozen in time and space, with the only thing moving being your rapid heart beats and rising chests.

====

he looks at you beside him and can feel your gears turning inside your head, a sight he so badly wants to get lost in but knows he can't. realizing it'd be bad enough with the gorgeous outfit you were wearing and how he was sure at least someone was going to try and hit on you... he'd rather not start getting himself tangled with you now. but he can't seem to move his neck any other way than craned to his left to look at you.

its was just.... as much as he wants an needs to kiss you so badly.... your so Important to him, he thinks as he lags behind a bit, watching you walk ahead. and your friendship is so important to him that they never want to break it, even if that meant shutting his mouth and staying further away, cause in the end that's really what he wanted: to be and stay friends with you. the reason he stayed never has been and never will be just about what he felt for you. your friendship will always be the most important thing to him and heeds never want to jeopardize that and loose you. he'd rather your friendship stay strong than anything.

Your turn around, beckoning him to come closer. he skips to you, so happy you don't know what to do with yourself. "You know--" "no, I don't. I was hoping you'd tell me." you scoff. "I was going to say that im glad you invited me. Im ready to go be extroverts together now and experience all the bad smells and all the loud noises a party has to offer." he laughs, but he knows youre half serious. and he's fully serious when he says he's happy you came.

====

the noise thumps in your ears, nearing making them ring. the lights are dimmer than you thought needed but it-- along with noise and people constantly bumping into each other, sufficed in making the atmosphere very party-like. cause well, it was a party after all. He follows you, both trying to scout out where the kitchen was. you'd planned to stick together, tighter than you did last time, tighter than when the both of you were bombarded with people asking you about each other, and stick together you did.

even when you two went upstairs, trying to find the bathroom, and stumbled upon a couple people fucking and practically biting each others faces off in the room you thought was the bathroom. Beomgyu shuts the door immediately, any longer and you'd both be traumatized. "get your own room!" you hear from behind the heavy door." He looks at you and you back at him before bursting into laughter. "I mean, did you want to orrrr?" you phrase it as a joke, and though he thinks he hears something in the back of your tone, he only rolls his eyes at you. though his brows go up higher than youve ever seen.

The second he's done in the bathroom you lead in downstairs to where the music was the loudest. "I heard it too." he pants, "I was trying to hurry up." you really couldn't believe they were playing this here. it was almost too perfect, you thought. with his body so close to yours, dancing and enjoying the song you both liked. And suddenly, it didn't feel like you were in a crowded room. and for a moment all you could see, and feel, and smell, was him. him and his fingers now reaching for yours, spinning you around, laughing without a care in the world. like it didnt matter that your heart was about to beat out of your chest, making you float on the floor you were dancing on.

Everyone else-- the entire room was blurred. It was just you, and him. him, and you. just as it should be. this didn't happen all the time-- rather, you didn't let it happen all the time. but when it did... you swore youve never felt anything so natural. so--so right and beautiful. You smile and ease him into a dip, now youre both laughing. when he comes up, somehow both his hands ended up in yours and now he's pulled flush against your body. he feels like you both are taking up so much and too little space at the same time--like the whole floor is yours and yours only. he swallows thickly, neither of you making a move to step away. you know it sounds stupid but for a second you can feel as life your hearts are beating as one. and for a seance he feels like maybe this is really real. that it won't end any second and that he isn't having another day dream about slow dancing with you in one of your living rooms; all comfy and--

"I have to go get some water." you say so low that only he hears over the music. you really shouldnt let it goony further than this. at least not here. and as much as you wanted to keep ignoring everyone around you cause with him, were they even there in the first place? you knew you shouldn't, couldn't keep it up for much longer cause being this close to him only made you wanna kiss the shit out of him. "y-youre not--" you look at the next to no gap between you still, hands still closes around each others tightly. you blink to free yourself from the perfect daze youre caught in. the song was barely even slow enough to slow dance to. what you you doing? "moving? I know." and before he could even ask if you to stay longer, youre already pushing yourself off his chest and out of his grasp.

"You sure you don't want me to just go with you?" he nearly stumbles after you. "beom, its just for a second." You whip around to face him, arms crossed defensibly. "but a lot can happen in a second." yeah, I can see that, you say to yourself, thinking about just a moment before where dancing to a song you both liked turned quickly into something that was going to make you stumble. beom, the name echoed in his mind over and over until it flowed into his heart where all the other times youve laughed or called him by that nickname laid. "listen I know youre just trying to uphold our agreement, but seriously, im fine."

he knows he's probably being too worried for you, but he just can't. epically after you'd done that. with your hands clasping his against his chest. god, he never wanted it to end. little did he know neither did you. you did actually need water, being so close to him like that had a track record of making your throat go dry and fingers go numb. it also had a track record of making you get lost in his glazed over eyes. you find a cup and rinse in out before anything cause who knew where its been. a moment later youre about to refill your cup when you hear the unmistakable sound of Beomgyus shriek. followed by someone yelling at him.

oh god what did he get himself into now?

You run to where you last saw him and, finding him not there you rush to where you saw a few people gathered by the stairs. those people who were now making way for beomgyu flying down them. someone hot with anger and hot on his tale. Your brows furrowed as he zooms past you. "im sorry!" you hear him say, "I probably shouldn't have gotten involved but it looked like a pretty heated argument!" oh god? that was what this was about? "Yah!" the person yells behind him. "that's why you shouldve stayed out of it!" then and Beomgyu are both on opposite ends of the sofa, both waiting for the other to make a move. when the person inches right, beomgyu tips to the left. when beomgyu goes the other way, the person follows his movements.

two of the three people move off the sofa to get out the way. god, he really was fucked, wasn't he? you didn't know what to do, really. you left for five minutes and here he was getting screamed profanities at by some random person. You wanted to help, but as beomgyu brings up to the person how the person they were talking with looked hurt, and how they themself looked hurt as well, you leaned against the door frame and just watched.

it was another one of these situations, huh? they didn't look mad enough to really do much of a number on him anyways, and youd step in to stop them any minute now if beomgyu doesn't leave the argument first. And step in a minute later after beomgyu and the person going back and forth tore you apart from the inside out to one, see him so worried like this, and two, hearing them yell next to you with the loud ass music was starting to make your ears bleed you didn't need to do after all. Beomgyu was backing up with his hands in front of him defensively. it didn't feel like you needed to collect him or keep him out of trouble or anything cause he was intentionally trying to start a fight, but you could tell no one was going to get anywhere with this. or at least beomgyu wasn't going to get what he was looking for from the person. So you figured it best to tell it that you two should leave. you grab him by the shoulders and lead him out the door. you were kinda done with the party anyways, having been there quite enough time already.

"im sorry! I ruined our night, didn't I?" he begs. "but they were saying some pretty shitty things about someone and it looked like it was about to turn physical." he practically pleads with you as the night air nips at whatever wasn't covered on you. you stay silent the whole way back to you place. "What have I told you?" you tell more than ask sternly once he's plopped down on his sofa. he hands his head low. "Not to get in the middle of other peoples problems..." he echoes what you say every time something like this happens-- he thinks he can be be everyones knight In shinning armor, protecter and helper to all by getting himself involved. it usually doesn't have such... strong repercussions. most of the time its when he hers whispers of someone talking about their troubles with someone else and he tries to console them. which is fine on its own, but then comes the part where he's getting all caught up in it and he's getting hurt along with them.

and as much as you are shaking your head and rolling your eyes at the situation he got himself into... you purse your lips and try not to catch his eyes from across the sofa. you lean back. "But im not surprised. And it's not because you never learn or that youre stupid or anything, ok? so don't even go there. but that's just who you are, how youve always been since I met you-- caring so much for people, even people you don't know that you'll end up like this trying to help them sometimes. that's one of the things about you that haven't changed one bit since I've met you." he inches closer as if you hear you better, legs folded criss cross on the cushions and hands on his knees.

"don't make me out to be such a hero." he shakes his head. and this time you move a little closer. "Not saying you are just," you pause, knowing what you want to say but wondering if this really was the right time for it. It felt right in your bones and besides when were you going to get another chance like this one? when just a bit ago his hands fit perfectly in yours and you could feel his raging heartbeat under your palms? It was now or never, right? but really, you werent too sure you'd be able to stop yourself now. you might've been in too deep, but with him, never over your head. "just, youre the kindest person ive ever met. n' I just worry you'll get hurt more than youve already gotten in the past-- like youve gotten in the past when you get invested like this."

youre breathing all heavy for some reason, and he's getting that same glassy look in his eyes as earlier in the night. it reminds you of a sugar honey glaze on sweet fruit or a dessert and you can't help but stare int them. "glad to see you care." he shrugs. only his lips move thankfully just in your field of vision, eyes staying locked on yours. "I thought you knew I did. he's unconsciously leaning forward to you, his body following the magnetic pull that was you. though he's only following what seemed natural. "Thought you knew that I did?" you put your face in your palm, elbow balanced on your knee. "Yeah, but..." he trails off, the both of you now impossibly close.

and closer, and closer, and closer until your lips join in a searing kiss. you both sigh in relief into it, having waited so, so long. now your heart was really beating out of your chest, your fingertips no longer numb but boiling with feeling. his hands go from his knees to your hands, grasping them firmly, but gently just like you did to him at the party. he felt like he was floating, like he was suddenly sitting on a cloud and wasn't afraid of falling. god, he's wanted this for so long; for fucking ever. how could he stop now? you pull apart, and now youre thinking how in the world you felt out this long. ".... now the way I want you to." he continues, "not the way I do." you smile, leaning in again to kiss him. it was meant to be a quick peck, but instead it turned into you leaning your body into his and his hands on your arms, running up and down them, making you sink further into him and the seat in warmth.

Now, for a second time, you pull away. "Does that help answering how much I care?" he's smiling like a mad man at your words. "so I guess I didn't ruin our night?" he says, more to get his Brian working properly more than anything. "The opposite. I wanted to leave with you anyways." and now he's nearly jumping out of his seat to to do a little happy dance. he couldnt help it, though. especially when you were pulling him back in by his shirt balls dup in your fist and smashing your lips together.

when you pull apart though, instead of smiling in each others faces, the both of you shoot up. oh god... oh god! what did you just do? it wasn't suppose to go like this, he thinks as you rush to put your shoes on at the door. No words were exchanged between the two of you, though. except: "Hey... I--" "no no!" you say a little too loudly, "no, its fine. we don't ever need to speak of this again, sound good?" his lips form a line at your words. he shoots you a thumbs up. "...yeah." it wasn't what he wanted, that's of for user. but what other choice did he have? didn't look like you were ready for it to happen, so my default, now he wasn't either.

it wasn't like you two avoided each other at all costs in the week after the incident. no, not at all. you were friends above anything and everything, and such close friends that being like that to each other would've killed the both of you. and it wasnt like you were mad at each other... but now the silence on your walks together felt.... uncomfortable; unnatural and weird. like you needed to fill it with pointless talking to distract you from how there was this... air in the midst of you two-- like you knew what the other wanted, craved and needed but were too scared to do something about it.

that's why he knew he had to do something about it. so here he was, barging into the diner you worked past closing time. You quickly run to the door to unlock it for him. not like you were doing anything better anyways, watching the raindrops slide down one of the many windows as you wiped down each table. he was later than he usually was, but it looked like he was here for more than just to pick you up. the look in his eyes said it all. You turn around as soon as you pull the door open for him. "we're closed, Beom." the nickname slipped off your tongue so easily it was like you had forgotten the incident the week before, and how you promised yourself you'd back away even more than you had to keep it from happening again.

it wasn't like you didnt want it to. god was it the opposite. it was just... new, and scary. you knew that wasn't the best excuse but it was all you had. he was, in a way all you had. You didn't really know what moving along that road would mean. you knew it'd be good. but again, it was new and scary.

"I can't loose you." he pants behind you. for once he it was raining and for once he did run here. he spreads his arms wide, his long hair dripping on his shoulders. "And I can't-- I can't believe we let this come between us. and I don't want to let the wedge be driven any further." when you still don't respond, back still turned he gets more desperate, running a worried hand through his hair. "Come on, y/n! we're best friends!" you slam your towel down on the counter. "yeah, well maybe that's why this should've never fuckin happened." your words make the room go silent. you didn't yell it, you didnt exclaim it, you basically whispered it, but it boomed like a bomb going off none the less.

he was too important-- your relationship, whatever it may be, was too important to let go; you knew that. he knew that. he didnt say a word, realizing that he might say something to make the situation worse. he knew he was staying after hours, then again, it reminded him of how it would be between the two of you a week ago when you'd still talk the same. he'd come in, you'd make him the best hot chocolate he'd ever tasted next to his moms, and then he'd sit at the same bar stool and you'd talk for hours, barely making a move to actually go home. but eventually, after helping you with cleaning, he'd walk you home.

but for watts its worth, neither of you wanted to go back to those times, even after everything quite liking how the experience of the incident felt. You invite him to go to your place to talk it out some more. having the same idea, he agrees readily.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." you say, youve been talking for a little over a hour now, somehow slipping into how it was about a week ago along the way back to your place, and you don't think youve felt something so good-- so reliving, in a very long time. "I haven't been telling the whole truth either." no other words are uttered between the two of you, opting to lean ever so frustratingly and tantalizingly slow into each other,. his hand coming to rest on your thigh, folded underneath you at the knee on his sofa. you place your hand on top of his has your lips connect, a long awaited satisfied sigh is breathed into each others face, the air tickling you. youre rubbing circles on the back of his hand as his mind races. it was a kiss you poured all your feelings into. one where you spilled into it how you needed him with you so so so bad. how you wanted him beside you even more than he already was. how you were sorry it took you so long, and how you couldn't wait to keep being beside each other. you could feel him pour all that and more into his side of it and you reviled in the feeling, settling into it like it was second nature.

you blink a couple times when you pull apart, glad that you took your talk someplace else now. and well, I guess the both of you know now. youve now pulled out of the dark that beautiful little thing you two were hiding.

Now you both know just that one more, not so little thing you needed-- what was on each of your hearts the most.

~end~

Can’t believe never written a solely beomgyu fic before anyways as I’ve said if you liked it please comment and or reblog since tumble works on that system and liking it only bookmarks it for you :) I hope you enjoyed!!!

©️2023copyrightofshutupheathersorryheatherr do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works even if you give me credit

taglist: @itz-yerin

[feyreandhercourt]

My thoughts on HOFAS, ft. SPOILERS

Overall, I will say I think this was a very well "written" book craft-wise. Like better than HOSAB and ACOSF, imo.

Okay Bryce telling Hunt “thinking about you getting tortured was hard for me!!!” was a… choice. If fated mates could divorce, I’d be filing

Honestly all around. They are my least favorite but before I attributed it to just not being into Hunt. But honestly they just seemed to be on different pages.

Where was Fury?????????????????????

Okay the hand thing was brutal but well played

Lidia was great. Also I recognized the Brann thing when he was introduced and was very proud of myself because I never make the connections lol

But I did think he might be like OG Brannon… the fact he’s not still has me interested

The bonus chapters were decent generally. Az and Nesta were likeable in them which makes me hopeful because Az’s LAST bonus chapter was Not A Good Look (tm)

Tell me how Feyre beat the Midgardden wyrm or whatever with a bone and yet Az and Nesta couldn’t. Nothing but respect for MY high lady

Speaking of, Theia really went the tradwife route and said no more high ladies tee hee only men should rule, huh?

Did Sigfrid or whatever even matter?

Ariadne felt like the opposite of Chekov’s gun. You have a DRAGON and a lot of fire and girlie is MIA

Ithan becoming Prime when the boy has zero main character energy was… meh.

Getting their powers back was AWESOME though am I forgetting something or did that not happen to Bryce? It felt like a copout but maybe I missed it?

The Theia/Silene reveals were interesting but lmao Nesta and Bryce kept talking shit during them which was both funny and just… repetitive

Bryce seemed to CONSTANTLY making inappropriate wisecracks. Like I don’t mean with the king but like when Lydia’s sons were captured or whatever??? not necessarily that but similar. Like girl there are times to be serious.

Ruhb SHOOTING LYDIA IN THE LEG while they are in enemy territory was one of the DUMBEST things going. But ya know what I need a couple to root for and Juniper/Lydia had no page time so they get a pass

Um. So we’re just not gonna address the Rhys/Ruhn twinsie connection?????

Tharion really made the bold choice to just… exist.

Also not the book’s fault but the video thing lmao would SO be disbelieved with where AI is today and that was all I could think when they released it

The Urd/Wyrd thing was a facepalmer that I liked

Wehb ACOWARA came out, a blogger (who posts great takes) was annoyed Feyre reused the starfall dress because that was a major royalty faux pas. That’s how I felt when Bryce used the mask.

People said things felt “too easy” but I don’t think that was an issue. Like QOS was “easier” but it’s one of the most beloved SJM books. I think the real issue is people didn’t feel connected and SJM had a few too many instances of explicitly saying “they didn’t know what they were doing but they did it by instinct”

GIVE ME MY FIRE BREATHING BITCH QUEEN WITH HER POWERS BACK PLEASE

SJM is 100000% going to write another TOG book and I am so ready. Those do. Not. Miss.

As ever, (and I had the same issue with Marvel) the issue with these multiverse things for me personally is I read some really fantastic theories that make a TON of sense, get excited for them, and then when they’re either not present or not present but with no explanation or a worse one, I wind up disappointed.

I’d say this is my second favorite CC book. I did think it was well-written though. And I know some were upset not to have ACOTAR POVs (okay me too lol) but I do think it makes sense to keep it as Bryce’s book. Except it’s more “Bryce and Friends” than Bryce.

[izukuwus]

Boiling Point 3: ...Will Still Boil Over Eventually - Miguel O'Hara/Reader (NSFW)

First - Prev - Next - M.list - Ao3

A/N: well folks and strokes I have no self control. this was originally supposed to be the finale, but lol. lmao, even. you didn't really expect me to finish a storyline in only three parts?

Summary: You reach your boiling point.

Notes: sub drop, a frankly ill-advised length of time to be edging oneself

Word count: 3317 words!

It is day…

uh…

(What fucking day is it again?)

You’re tired. You’re bored. You’re horny. And that handsome motherfucker sent you a carousel of Spiders to explicitly make sure that you were actually resting in the time he so generously gave you.

Your package delivery was delayed by a combination of bad luck and worse luck, apparently, because it should have been here by now. You stopped bothering keeping up with your journaling partway through this, namely because you were starting to become hyper-aware of all your negative traits when you wrote them down (teenage boy levels of horniness and anger, mostly) and also because you’re starting to feel… low. Low low. Low low low low low.

The part of you that’s desperate for sex with a man you’ll never have or even just a fucking release at this point is losing out to your deep-seated need to be right. And in your contract, you said until the new vibe arrives. So, you are stuck waiting, lest you prove yourself completely slutty and undisciplined. And you are not slutty or undisciplined.

The worst part, you think, is the understimulation. Sure, you’ve got hobbies, but you don’t want to do any of them right now. You want to get someone’s hand on your tits and teeth on your neck, or else you want to hook yourself up to a vibrator until you discover new frontiers of consciousness and burn out the motor on that one, too, or else you want to lay here and rot. And fuck it, you can’t do any of that, because you still have your shitty office work to attend to, which doesn’t even distract you from the real problems in the world: dimensional anomalies, stopping criminals, and the criminal lack of dimensionally anomalous dick in your mouth.

Honestly, at first, it was sexy. You liked the little thrill of rolling over in bed and seeing your contract and knowing that you’re being so good even without a dom to make it so. You liked the idea of the denial, the promise of a new toy coming as a reward for all the longing in the meantime. Part of you still does, but that part has been glazed over with a level of self-loathing that usually being a Spider wipes away.

If you were worth anything, you wouldn’t have to enforce this yourself.

If you were worth anything, someone would be telling you what a good girl you’ve been, that you’ve worked so hard for this, that you’ve earned the right to cum.

Admit it.

You’re not doing this alone to prove a point.

You’re doing this alone because no one is ever going to do it for you. Not for long, at least.

You know two ways to fill time and void—searching for good views from too-tall buildings and masturbation. The too-tall buildings frustrate you even more, because occasionally one of your coverage Spider-Men will swing in and remind you that you’re under strict orders to rest, or worse, you’ll see them at work and know that Miguel has probably instructed them to web you to a wall if you try to help with YOUR job, and then you just feel even more useless and angry and empty.

Okay, so skyscraper sightseeing is out. What about masturbation?

Yeah, that’ll work. Add more sexual frustration to your sexual frustration. You like sexual frustration, right? Clearly, since you’re still doing this bullshit. Go ahead, we put some sexual frustration on your sexual frustration so you can get sexually frustrated while you experience some light sexual frustration. This can only serve to alleviate your problems. Clearly. Dumbass.

…you make sure to leave your wristband in the other room before you take your pants off.

And you know what? Maybe it’s the demon on your shoulder egging you on when you slip two fingers inside yourself and fantasize in scraps of images—sharp teeth, big muscles, webs holding down your wrists—and chase release, but you no longer care about the stupid fucking contract or your stupid fucking delayed package or your stupid fucking—

There is a noise in the other room.

A noise that sounds suspiciously like an incoming call on your wristband.

You can’t help it. Fuck your neighbors. You actually scream.

Okay. You’re overreacting. Walk it back. This is good. You didn’t break the contract, because you didn’t cum, and that call probably means you’re back in business and able to be a fucking Spider again.

So really, you're glad you got a call. You wash your hands, you scrub extra hard. You make sure your Spider suit is on, you make sure you're wearing casual clothes with the zippers all pulled and hiding your suit. When you're calm and collected and ready, the dread and self-hatred is still there, as is the frustration, but you didn't spend years in customer service without learning how to wear a smile even when the only desire you have left in your little heart is that lingering drive to take up serial killing.

You find the wristband on the coffee table. Slip it on. Hit the button to call back.

And there he is: man of the hour, loathe of your life, Miguel O'Hara. You've been trying not to think of him by his full name only, but it isn't working, mostly because you've also been halfway trying to not think of him at all.

You don't really process most of the conversation, too busy floating in the space between "horny" and "dead inside", but you do hear the words "we need you back on to help with an anomaly" pretty fucking clear, and you know damn well you wouldn't say no to that.

"Give me two minutes to get changed," you manage, already pulling at the shorts you so carefully hid your Spider suit under.

"You get one and a half.”

Aw, he's cute. Miguel's holo is looking away from you, and it blinks out of existence in the time it takes you to get your free hand hooked under your waistband. He's not flustered; you're not sure that's possible, but his unnecessary display of respect is endearing.

You're ready to go in one. You take the thirty seconds remaining to fix your hair and play it cool, even if you're now stuck between excited, horny, and dead. I heard, if you add a fourth emotion to the mix, you can build a house out of your weird bullshit and finally put a ceiling on it. Give it a try sometime!

You slip into spidery actions the same way you do swimming pools—the initial drop of your stomach, water too cold on your toes, New York City but Wrong, then the adjusting. You always adjust. Anomalies blur together for you by now, amalgamate into a series of fun diversions that lower your stress and put the pieces of you back together in the process.

They’re supposed to put you back together.

They’re supposed to put you back together.

The anomaly is dealt with. You’re spidering again. You got your rush from the heights and the wind against your mask, your adrenaline from a fight gone well. You returned to HQ with your partners from this little adventure no worse for the wear, and even Miguel has afforded you an approving nod at the work you’ve done.

You’ve done a good job. A great job. Something has pushed out the rage in you and taken its place, but you know better. This fight against this anomaly did not, in fact, put you back together.

You need to go home. You have to report in, first. It’s redundant. You need to leave. You’re doing good. You need to smile and do it anyways.

Your smile is heavy, so heavy, nearly impossible to drag out of you. You wish you could leave it where it sits in the pits of you, go home and find a cave to live in where civilization is not and no one can ever make you smile again because—

You need to stop everything there is danger there is danger you need to MOVE—

You jolt away, violent, exaggerated, but it’s just Peter, frozen with his elbow raised awkwardly, halfway to nudging your side for your attention.

“[name]?”

“Sorry,” you mumble, as though that does anything, for anyone, ever, at all. It does nothing, in fact, and you’re hyper-aware of that. An explanation might help. “My head’s not back in this dimension yet.” Great explanation. You’re winning at this. I’m so proud of you.

“Right,” Miguel says. “Your report?”

“Oh. Right.” You rattle off the details. They’re hardly anything worth reporting, really. When you’re done, there’s a heavy silence in the room. Everything’s heavy right now, kind of. Like that week away turned the multiverse into molasses.

You glance up through the silence to see that Miguel is staring you down. Okay, more like looking at you, but it all feels the same right now, your skin crawling at being perceived at all.

“Are we done?” The words come out too aggressive. You’re not angry; you’re not anything. The words are just too heavy to drag out without a little bit of bluntness. You hope he won’t take it as a challenge.

“You did good.”

Fucking hell.

You didn’t brace yourself for that one.

There’s motions between you hearing the words and you being on the floor. There must be, because you were on your feet, and now you are not. The heels of your palms press against your eyes, you’re gasping for air, and—

Oh. You’re crying your eyes out.

Are you sure you’re not overreacting a bit?

Heightened spider senses inform you someone is reaching for you, begs you to move, screams at you to throw them away and make sure no one ever touches you again, but you’re too caught up in the tears to do a thing about it, too caught up in the waves finally crashing down on you and shredding your skin in the sand of all the resentments you’ve been building, too caught up too caught up too caught up—

Woah, hey, let’s take a deep breath—

Out.

I’m not just going to leave them crying on the floor—

Out!

—someone is touching you someone is holding you leave me alone leave me ALONE—

LYLA. Portal back to their home dimension. Now, please.

Already on it. I’ll send for Jess.

Good thinking. I’ll be back.

~

Miguel is careful not to jostle you too much as he sets you on your couch. You dissolved into tears and are still dissolving now, wordless. He shakes his head at the sight.

When he realized what was going on and placed you on leave, he had sort of been trying to avoid a situation that looked a lot like this. He tells himself there was only so much he could do and not a single right answer to keep you from steering yourself straight off an emotional cliff.

Well, that’s not right. There had been a right answer; it just wasn’t the one he chose. The least he can do is stay with you until you’re stable. The least he can do is see you through this drop.

You’re not talking yet, so he tears away from you to search for anything you might want for aftercare and tries to run the autopsy report of his latest failure.

Admittedly, he misjudged what a compliment would do to you, so close to the edge. The goal really had had been to uplift you. He could have done worse. It’s not like he broke out the ‘good girl’. And yeah, maybe it was too jarring coming from his mouth after the last time you spoke in person.

Maybe he was just too late. By the time he got to you, you were already locked in. Even before that, you were acting more reckless than usual. Really, he was the one who should have seen it coming and put a stop to it day one. He should know better by now, when it comes to you.

He’s on autopilot, so he grabs the fluffiest-looking blanket from the pile on your bed, the most hug-worthy pillow, and returns to wrap you up.

You accept the pillow wordlessly, don’t even bother resisting when he wraps the blanket around you. You’ve gone from sobbing to sniffles, but he’s got work to do yet.

“Better?” he asks, voice low. His voice comes out gentle, even gentler than he was shooting for, and he curses the effect you have on him like he does every time.

You eye him warily, nod silently. You’re all verb-adverb right now, it seems, but at least you are a little better.

“What do you usually do for this?” he asks, and okay, maybe that’s a little up front, given the way you jolt and shift your expression to a glare.

“What makes you think I do anything?”

He lets out a little huff, settles in on the couch next to you. “You haven’t figured out by now how to handle yourself?”

“I can handle myself just fine, and if you even begin to act otherwise I swear to god—“

“Have I ever said you can’t?”

“You put me on leave. For a week. Not just from interdimensional stuff, but from protecting my own city. What the hell else is that supposed to say?”

Oh. You completely misinterpreted him, didn’t you?

“It means that I thought you needed the rest and correctly gauged that you wouldn’t take it willingly. If I was wrong, then you wouldn’t be crying on your couch right now, would you?” He cringes internally. That came out wrong.

“It’s not like it prevented it,” you mutter.

He sighs. You’re not being very receptive, and he needs to get the right words in his head in the right order with the right tone before he makes things even worse. So he stands and begins walking to your door.

“Where are you going?” you call after him, and your voice is small enough that he nearly stops.

No, Miguel. Control yourself.

“Checking your mail.”

“You’re going to walk all the way down the stairs to the mailboxes on the first floor? You’re going to unlock my mailbox with a mail key you don’t have, and—“

By your front door, there’s three hooks with keys. One is labeled “mail”. He picks it up, then glances back to where you’re craning your neck over the back of your couch. His hand is already on the door, and he’s firmly unbothered by your attempts to protest with logic.

“You’re in your Spider suit, stupid. Do you want people to see you walking out of my apartment? Trying to give away my secret identity? It’s not like people aren’t gonna notice one of the Spider’s caked-up new friends walking around the apartment building—“

…Caked-up?

He shakes his head and opens the door anyway. You make a good point about him being in his suit, but it’s not like he can’t handle himself for one trip to the first floor and—

Oh. There’s a package on the floor in front of your door.

That’s good enough. He’ll bring that inside.

~

“Your neighbor got your mail by accident,” Miguel says, already walking back from the door. “Let’s see, he says…” In one hand, he reads from what looks to be a hand-written note, and in the other…

You catch sight of the logo emblazoned on the side of the envelope he carries and have to kill the screech in your throat. Whatever pathetic tears you were crying for stupid reasons before mean nothing now.

You’re so fucking glad you bought from a new sex shop this time. You’re so fucking glad this one doesn’t have some super obvious name that makes it very clear that the Sex Toy Destroyer Himself was carrying your replacement for all the toys he personally destroyed. Hell no, you’re not taking credit for those. You’re not the insanely hot one here.

Of course. Of course you would have a completely unprecedented breakdown in HQ directly in front of Miguel. Of course he’d stick around to make sure you weren’t completely useless. Of course your new toy would show up whenever Miguel decides to be weirdly nice and bring in your mail for you. How else would things go? You’re the one with all the luck here.

Miguel is mid-sentence saying something you’ve been completely not listening to, and you do feel guilty for that, but come on. It’s taking everything in you not to freak out. You’re giving yourself whiplash just trying to calm down. Like, it’s normal. People receive mail sometimes, idiot, and sometimes that mail gets delivered to the wrong place, and that’s good and normal, and sometimes your neighbor is kind enough to leave it on your doorstep with a note, and sometimes—

“He’s asking you on a date.”

“What?” In less than a second, your web is on the back of the page, and Miguel lets it sail from his hand and into yours. “Let me see that.”

Holy shit. Your neighbor returned your sex toy he mistakenly got in the mail and asked you out to coffee sometime. You check the unit number he listed—motherfucker. He’s the one that shares a wall with your bedroom. He’s probably heard more than he hasn’t. You sure fucking have.

You let out a low groan. Eyes flick to Miguel. It’s not like that particular bad idea is going anywhere, and you’re basically the ruler of Definitely Healthy Coping Mechanisms anyway, so maybe—

“That was nice of him. Is he actually worth your time, though?”

The sentences are so weird coming from his mouth that a little jolt of laughter bubbles out of you. “Why are you being so weird? That was almost nice. You’re supposed to be all, tough love and everyone thinks you’re mad even when you’re being nice.”

He blinks. Stares at you a moment. “You just had a complete breakdown.”

“Yes, thank you for reminding me.” You’re doing a tremendous job at ignoring that fact, thank you very much. “…Thanks for the consideration, though. And probably not. He’s like, not unattractive, I guess, but, you know. Can’t shake the feeling that he’s only asking me out because he shares a wall with my bedroom.”

Miguel arches a brow.

Oh, fuck. That’s sexual connotations. I mean, sexual meaning, too, but come the fuck on. You’ve got to be more restrained than that. What were those two weeks of training for?

“…right. Anything good?” He gives the package a little shake, and you remember how fucking precarious your situation is in this moment.

Another web snatches the envelope from him. He seems nearly amused by your reaction, based on vibes. Deadpan as always, but if you’re not mistaken, there’s a slight spark in his eyes. “What could you possibly have ordered?”

“Nothing.”

“Given that you just snatched it out of my hands…”

“Nothing,” you repeat. It’s meant to be emphatic, but you just sound whiny. You blame the post-cry snottiness.

He sits directly across from you. “No, open it. You don’t have to wait for me to leave if you’re that excited for it.”

“I’m good.” Your voice pitches high. “Really. Thanks for all your help today. You can go.”

He stares. You begin to sweat.

“Look. I was really hoping you’d figure discipline out on your own with all that time I gave you, but I guess not.”

“If… if you wanted me to be doing something specific with the past boring-as-shit week, why didn’t you tell me what it was?”

He sighs. “If you think two weeks of edging yourself without aftercare is discipline, then I guess I have to be the one to teach you.”

…oh.

Huh.

Fuck.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @roxannarichie @vegas-writing-den @cooch1ecruncher @bluepeanutharmony @instanttragedyfire @yohoe-hoe @ambientcryptidsounds

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As always, thanks for reading! <3

[nickfowlerrr]

same page

pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!avenger!reader

warnings: 18+ ONLY. pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess). SMUT (fingering, breast play, unprotected penetrative sex). public sex? friends to lover-ish?. fluff, too ig. if i’m missing anything please let me know.

words: 4.5k

notes: idk what this is and i didn’t know how to end it so i kinda didn’t lmao. also i’m too tired to reread it and edit it, so sorry for any mistakes in advance. i feel bad about taking so long with my dark!soulmate au fics so this is at least something to read in the meantime. it’s been sitting in my google docs for a hot minute so i figured now is as good a time as any to share it. also - reader isn’t necessarily explicitly described as curvy/chubby/plus size in this - i don’t think 🤔- but i’m tagging it that way bc that’s just how i imagine all my readers in my fics, whether i state it or not.😙 as always - feedback is more than welcome. :) thank you for reading 🥰 and if you enjoy it please give it a reblog. 💘

“I love when you moan my name,” Bucky whispered in your ear as he hovered above you, both of you covered in sweat and panting.

“I’m not moaning, I’m groaning you jackass,” you grumbled as you shoved him off of you, trying to keep your composure despite his teasing and the feeling of his weight on top of you. “We’ve been at this for over two hours, I can’t keep up anymore.”

“It’s called endurance training for a reason, princess,” he said as he moved to his feet, rising to stand above you while you stayed down on the mat, thoroughly exhausted. It’d been round after round of HIIT before Bucky had you moving on to hand to hand combat - which is why you were now sprawled out on the floor after he finally managed to take you down to the mat, landing his body on top of yours.

“I hate this,” you huffed as you stared up at him. “So much. In fact, I hate it so much, it’s actually starting to make me hate you.” You complained before getting distracted by Bucky pulling his shirt up and over his head, throwing it to the side while he still towered over you.

“Hm, well, I can’t have that now can I,” he started as you moved to sit up so you could bring yourself back to your feet. “Wait,” he said huskily as he shoved you back down on the mat before you could even start to stand. “I think I know a workout you might actually enjoy,” he smirked. “We can switch from combat to a different form of cardio, how’s that sound?” he asked as he moved down to be on his knees, straddling you. All you could do was stare up at him dumbly. You were sure you were making a fool out of yourself while you stared at him almost awestruck, big eyed, lying beneath him with your mouth parted open while you were still working on leveling out your breathing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care enough about how embarrassing it was to stop.

“Cardio? On the floor? How exactly is that supposed to work?” You asked breathily, chest heaving up and down. Bucky’s eyes fell to the swells of your breasts that were still perfectly on display thanks to your tight black sports bra.

Had you purposely worn it to your one on one training with him after the way he couldn’t stop staring at you and ogling your chest the last time you had it on? Absolutely. But you didn’t think it’d lead to anything. It never had before, despite what you may have wanted. This was like, your guys’ thing.

You and Bucky had always picked up on the way you looked at one another and every time you noticed a more… heated look from one another, you would each take it as an opportunity to tempt and perhaps even fluster the other. And he flustered you so easily.

For instance, you were completely distracted by him anytime he had his tight black t-shirt on, and once he realized, it quickly became a staple in his wardrobe.

And he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you anytime you were in the gym. Though your typical gym attire was high waisted workout leggings and either a windbreaker over a sports bra or a long sleeve tee, on the occasion you wore quad shorts, hello leg day, or would forgo anything over your top at all, it was like his eyes would be glued to your every movement.

And it’s not like you could blame him. You looked amazing. Particularly last week when you were sparring with Natasha. You were wearing the very same sports bra you had on now. It was new and held your girls up perfectly. Simple, black, and well fitted. It made you feel confident. You hadn’t expected Bucky to be in the gym when you arrived, but there he was. And when he saw you waiting by the entrance doors for Nat, he met your eye and sent a smile your way before his eyes drifted down and zeroed in on your chest.

It was almost funny to watch his abrupt change in demeanor as his only focus was suddenly all on you. You and that new bra you were wearing. It had to be new, he thought. He hadn’t seen it before, he was sure he would have remembered if he had..but maybe you just hadn’t worn it around him before.. That thought then got him thinking of all of your other bras he hasn’t had the pleasure of seeing before. And that thought then turned into thoughts of him being lucky enough to have the opportunity to see you in one you’d wear specially for him and then being able to get you out of it. God, your skin looked so soft. He just wanted to touch you. Well, that wasn’t all he wanted. He really wanted to get his mouth on you. You’d look so cute with his love bites all over you. Just imagining you walking into the gym, his marks on full display on your supple flesh and the gorgeous swells of your breasts. Fuck, he was getting himself worked up again, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted you so badly.

He didn’t even really notice his mouth parting open and his tongue quickly slipping out past his devilish lips, wetting them before grazing them with his teeth. And all the while, staring intently at you.

Now, had it been anyone else ogling at you like that (not that they would have), you would’ve been annoyed and probably would have immediately thrown on your jacket. But it wasn’t anyone else. It was Bucky. And you couldn’t deny that you liked the way he was looking at you. You always liked when he looked at you.

Though nothing had come of it, he always made you feel like you were the only person in the room. No matter where you were or who was around. It made you feel special. Wanted. And that was nice.

You scoffed at his obvious staring, though, and that’s when Steve turned around and saw you, too. He smiled and gave a wave and then turned to Bucky. Then with a raised brow, back to you. And then again back to Bucky before he realized where his friend’s gaze was set on you and why it was there.

Steve’s eyes went big and he immediately got red in the face as he caught himself staring at your cleavage, too. He didn’t mean to, he’d never purposely make anyone feel uncomfortable or like he was staring at them, but he was curious as to what Bucky was looking at, so really, it was his fault he was staring. He coughed, pretending to clear his throat as he looked away, trying to be nonchalant. Then he moved to not so subtly elbow Bucky in his ribs. “What the fuck, man?” he tried to whisper as he turned around. “You can’t just keep staring at her like that, you’re gonna make her uncomfortable. She’s gonna think you’re a pervert.” Bucky finally broke his stare and looked to Steve as he spoke. He knew he probably should have at least looked a little embarrassed at being so obvious, but it’s not like either of you could read his thoughts, so getting caught staring wasn’t the worst thing. And it’s not like he hadn’t been called out on it before. Hell, it’s not like you hadn’t done the same thing to him before, either.

“Oh, I’m sure she’s plenty comfortable with my staring, ain’t that right, princess,” you rolled your eyes as Bucky called to you with a boyish grin.

“Hmm, no,” you said, shaking your head after pretending to think about it for a second. “Steve’s right, I do think you’re a pervert,” you taunted with a slight tilt of your head as you met his gaze.

“Then maybe I am, but only for you, doll,” he smirked.

You laughed a smile at his words and as Natasha walked through the door of the gym to meet you, you hoped you didn’t look as affected by them as you felt while you shook your head again.

“Really know how to make a girl feel special, don’t you, Barnes?” You joked over your shoulder as you sauntered off with Nat to the ring.

“Ready to get your ass kicked?” She asked.

“By you? Any day.” You kidded as you bumped shoulders with her.

“Oh, and don’t worry, Barnes, I’ll try not to wear her out too badly for you ,” she winked as she turned around to tease him, his eyes still trained on you while he smirked at her comments. Your face felt like it was on fire, but you ignored it as you needed to focus on your sparring with Nat, though not before hitting her with an elbow of your own as you got closer to the ring.

Though he was across the expansive gym, Bucky’s gaze still found you any chance he got before him and Steve finally finished their workout and headed to their rooms to shower, bidding you both a “see ya later” on their way out.

So yeah. It was evident he liked the bra. And when you saw you had endurance training scheduled for today with Bucky, you knew exactly what you were going to wear.

When you entered the gym, Bucky’s eyes when he saw you walking toward him were dark and heady and you felt a thrill of excitement shoot through you knowing you could make him feel that way. You were equally affected by him. The way his arms were bulging in that damn black tee… and his thighs in those joggers, god. You wanted him. Of course you did. But not just for his looks. Bucky was an amazing guy. He was caring and protective and funny and so sweet to you. But he could also be mischievous; he loved to tease you and play around. You guys could so easily be yourselves around one another and you could spend hours with him and not get bored. You weren’t the most social person, but around Bucky, you could talk about anything. You never felt like you were being weird or awkward around him, it always felt so natural. It was like you had known each other for ages. And if you were being honest, you knew you wanted more. You wanted to be his. You wanted to be able to call him yours. But you couldn’t bring yourself to make the first move. If he didn’t feel the same, you wouldn’t be able to stand it. You were completely terrified of rejection. And from him it would really fucking sting. So teasing was enough for you if it had to be.

When you had first started your training session, there were a couple of people in the gym with you, but after that second hour passed it was just you and Bucky. And he took notice of the emptiness of the gym right away, deciding to use it to his advantage.

It was just you and him and he was finally going to make his move. He had been wanting to for a while now, but didn’t want to ruin your friendship if you didn’t want him the way he wanted you. After talking to Steve, he was reassured that it was obvious, apparently to everyone but him, that you were both completely taken with one another.

And when he had you pinned under him, he couldn’t help but tease you. He wanted to see what your reaction would be before he really made his move onto you. He loved how flustered you sounded when you shoved him off of you. And by the way you stared at him as he threw his shirt off, he knew you were both on the same page.

When he shoved you back down on the mat as you tried to get up and your breath hitched in your throat, he felt even more excited. He moved to straddle you and was happy to see that your wide eyes staring up at him as you tried to catch your breath were as lust filled as he was sure his were.

His hands fell to your wide hips and moved with perfect sensual pressure up your waist, being sure your body was laid completely down onto the mat, before his hands found your breasts. He squeezed them as you moaned lightly at the contact.

“God,” he breathed with a smile, “you’re so fucking beautiful, you know that?” He said, looking into your eyes before leaning his head back down, softly kissing the exposed tops of your breasts. You mewled at the feeling, hands instinctively finding his hair. You let your head fall to the side and when you saw the door to the gym, you were suddenly reminded that you were still in public.

“Bucky,” you panted, “What if someone comes in?” you said, worriedly. He picked his head up and grabbed your face to look at him.

“Then I’ll tell them to get the fuck out,” he said matter of factly as he looked at you like you were his whole world before slowly leaning down to finally catch your lips in a kiss. It was gentle as you savored the taste of him on your lips, a feeling you had been dying to experience for nearly as long as you had known him. And it was needy, too. You couldn’t get enough of him. As you pulled his hair, wanting him closer, the kiss became more heated. When you finally had to pull away to breathe, Bucky dropped his head and spoke into your neck. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he breathed before placing light kisses down your neck.

“How long I’ve wanted to kiss you - to touch you like this,” he continued as his hands found the straps to your bra, pulling them down your arms as you wiggled to get your arms free. He pushed the bra up over your chest and you moved to take it off completely over your head.

His hands instantly found your breasts, holding and squeezing, massaging them as his lips attacked your sensitive flesh. His licking and nibbling, teasing your skin with his teeth and tongue, had you writhing underneath him. As you moved your hips up subconsciously searching for some kind of friction, you felt his hard cock against you. Instantly you became more needy, hands fervently trying to pull him closer.

You gasped loudly as he bit down on your pert nipple, suckling gently before soothing the sting with his wet tongue. You felt like you were going to implode if he didn’t give you what you needed. And what you needed was him. After all the games, the flirting, the teasing, the lustful stares, and stolen glances… you couldn’t hold it back - couldn’t wait any longer.

“Bucky,” you pleaded, hugging him more tightly against you in your wanton state.

“What’s wrong, princess?” he murmured against your skin.

“Need you. Please,” you said as you tried to move your still clothed hips against him once again.

“Yeah? Ya need me?” he began, smirking with heated cheeks, moving in to kiss you. “Where do you need me, baby? Tell me.” He spoke in your ear as he broke away from your lips, moving to trail kisses down your neck - causing you to whine softly.

“Need you inside me,” you nearly cried. You were growing more desperate with each passing second. “Please. I want you. I need to feel you inside me, Bucky, please,”

“Mm,” he hummed before moving back up to kiss your lips again. ”Knew you’d beg so pretty for me,” he smiled before he sat up in between your legs on his haunches, and his hands moved to rid you of your leggings.

You raised your hips to help him get them down your thick thighs before you completely kicked them off along with your shoes as Bucky stood and did the same. He now seemed almost as impatient as you were as he worked quickly to rid himself of his clothing. The sight of his thick cock had you swallowing hard before you let your eyes wander the rest of his incredible body. He didn’t seem to notice your gaze as you took in every inch of him as he wasted no time moving to get on top of you once again. Your hands found his waist as you needily wrapped your arms around him again. You moved your hands sensually up and down his back, luring him closer as he lavished your near completely exposed body with kisses. Your eyes closed shut in bliss.

His hands gently slipped down to your hips once again where he pulled down the waistband of your thong. After pulling it the rest of the way down your legs, one at a time, he threw it to lie on top of the pile of his clothes next to you as you pulled your knees up around him. Pushing your legs further apart as he kneeled in between them, he moved his hands up and down your thighs before he started to tease you with his metal fingers rubbing through your wet folds. You spread your legs even wider for him as he gently slipped one of his fingers into you. He played with you for a little bit, changing speeds, and motions and slipping his finger out only to push two back in, all while placing cheeky kisses anywhere he could on you as you mewled and moaned, laid completely spread out beneath him, losing yourself in his touch.

When neither of you could take the teasing any longer, he took his cock in his hand, hissing as he pumped himself a few times before he ran the tip up and down your slit, smearing his precum on you and mixing it with your arousal, sending tingles of pleasure through you. He moved from your dripping hole up to your sensitive clit and back down again while you were mewling at the sensations and growing ever more aroused.

“You’re so wet,” he groaned at the sight. “Think you’re ready for me, sweetheart?”

You nodded your head dumbly as you writhed around him, desperately waiting for him to finally put his cock inside of you.

At the first push of his tip into your tight entrance as he slowly entered into you, you gasped loudly, grabbing onto him as Bucky nearly growled out at the feel of you. He had tried to help you ease open with his fingers, but the size of his length was still stretching you more than you thought you could take and it stung but, god, it also felt so brutally good as he inched in. Your hands reached out for him as he continued to enter you a bit at a time, wanting to give you time to adjust to him. You found his hands on your hips and you gripped his forearms as he started to gently thrust into you.

“You okay, princess?” he asked headily. “Tell me if you want to stop and I’ll stop,” he assured you after you nodded your head and breathed out a “yes” to his question.

“I don’t want you to stop,” you moaned as he pulled out of you and pushed back in just a little harder.

“You’re taking me so well, baby. Knew you would,” he grunted in his pleasure before leaning down to kiss you deeply.

You wrapped your legs around him as he started to move faster, hitting you deeper, right where you needed him. “Fuck, Bucky…, god you feel so good. Oh,” you breathed out as you were turned into a mewling and moaning mess beneath him, making sounds you’d never heard come out of your mouth before, but you weren’t embarrassed. Not when Bucky was grunting and groaning, too. Praising you for how well you were taking him, every sound out of his mouth and every praise he showered on you was making you more and more slick for him as he moved his cock in and out of you deliciously.

“So you weren’t moaning before, but you’re moaning now, aren’t you, princess?” You chuckled breathlessly beneath him as he looked at you with a crooked smile on his face as he continued to thrust deep and deeper inside of you. You pulled his face down to yours and crashed your lips into his. It wasn’t nearly as gentle as it was previously, but it was hot and just as needy. You grabbed at him as he pistoned even harder into you, making you gasp as you felt your walls tighten around his cock, your breath getting caught in your throat. You could feel yourself getting closer with every move he made and he could feel it, too.

“You gonna come, sweetheart? Gonna come around my cock?” He panted out as he thrust deeper and faster into your heat.

“Yes, yes, I-I’m gonna come. Please, Bucky, I need to come,” you babbled out as best you could. He stroked up and down your waist almost soothingly with his right hand as his other held a bruising grip on your hip.

“I know, just hold it, pretty girl. You can hold it just a little longer for me now, can’t you?”

“Agh, yes. Fuck. I can hold it.. I can hold it,” you wanted to cry at the overwhelming sensations going through your body. It was too much but still not enough as waves of pleasure were surging through you with each drag of his thick cock along your velvety walls.

Bucky’s flesh hand moved to grip your other hip just as tightly as he spoke through grit teeth, like he was trying to stave off his own impending orgasm, too.

“You wanna be my princess, huh, sweetheart? Tell me who you belong to,” he spoke gruffly.

“You, Bucky, you. I belong to you. ’M your princess. I’m yours. All yours, only yours,” you rambled, though you meant every word. “Buck, please,” you moaned as your nails dug into his skin.

“Yeah you are,” he moaned back. “You’re mine. Come for me, princess. Wanna feel you come around my cock, squeeze me, baby. Oh, fuck,” he grunted the expletive through clenched teeth, his neck straining and his veins bulging.. His words and the look of absolute rapture on his beautiful face sent you falling off of the edge - head first into the most intense orgasm you’d ever experienced. You swore you saw white as you came hard around him, legs shaking as you trembled beneath him.

“Just like that, princess. Fuck you’re such a good girl,” he praised you as you came around him, talking you through your orgasm as your tight walls squeezed him, working to keep him inside of you, desperately wanting to be filled, triggering his own release. You felt him coat your walls as he came inside of you, his hips stuttering and slowing but not stopping completely as he rode out both of your highs. And you’d never felt so full or satisfied.

You gingerly dropped your shaky legs from around him and he rested himself fully on top of you as he stayed between your legs. His arms wrapped around you as he rested his head on your chest. You wrapped your own arms around him and you stayed embraced like that for a moment, trying to catch your breath as you held each other.

“I could stay like this forever, but seeing as how we’re still in the very public gym, maybe we should move things to my room?” He suggested lightly as he kept his head on your chest, arms still protective around you.

“Yeah, that’s…That’s a really good idea,” you breathed a laugh.

A couple hours (and an amazing round of shower sex) later found you wearing nothing but one of Bucky’s shirts, wrapped up in his sheets, and laying in his arms.

Your head was resting on his chest as you ran your nails up and down his skin, lightly tickling him as you did. “So…” you said quietly, though you knew he could hear you.

“So,” he hummed as his eyes began to fall shut from your soothing touch and warm embrace.

You suddenly felt unsure. Did this actually mean to him what it meant to you? You were nervous but you knew you had to ask. You needed to know one way or the other.

“I, uhm. I don’t really know how to ask this,” you breathed out with a nervous laugh.

“Ask what,” he said, sounding more alert now as he moved his left hand to hold yours against him.

“What.. hm. What does, this - I mean, what - what did this,” you tried to wrangle your nerves as you fought to actually ask him what you were trying to, but you just kept rambling until Bucky cut you off.

“What does this mean for us?” he said, looking down at you as you nodded your head still on his chest.

“Well, I mean, I thought I made my intentions pretty clear. I want to be with you, y/n,” he said seriously as he tilted your chin to meet your eye. “Like, really be with you. I want a relationship with you. I want you to be mine,” he whispered as he caressed your cheek. “But if you don’t want anything more than this, I - I’d understand. You just gotta let me know, because, I-”

“No!” you almost shouted as you shot up on his bed, turning to face him completely as you shook your head, reaching for his hand to hold again. “No, Bucky, no. That’s not at all what I meant by asking that. I just… I wanted to be sure that we were on the same page. Because I do, I want this,” you assured him. “I want this and more. I want… I want everything with you,” you confessed as you squeezed his hand and stared lovingly into his bright blue eyes shining back at you as his face lit up with that boyish grin he wore so well.

“Then that’s what you’ll get, princess,” he smiled as he pulled you down to meet his lips.

“And, you know, I am yours, Bucky,” you mumbled against his lips between kisses. “Always have been.” He pulled you closer and kissed you deeper at your words.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that,” he mumbled back, holding your face in his hands before letting you go and returning to your previous resting positions, an even more at ease, comforting energy engulfing the two of you as you just enjoyed one another’s presence.

[corallapis]

Hi <3 No obligation to answer, I know dw lore is really convoluted and there's a lot of expanded universe material, but you've mentioned a few times that you think the War Chief is the Master. I'm also a War Chief/Master truther because I think that makes the contents of The War Games more fun and interesting (& also could count as another time the Master got the Doctor killed <3 romance <3) but I wanted to know if you had more reasons/examples from canon that supports that idea

anon i’d be delighted to talk abt the war chief!!! he’s My Guy <3 and (dare i say it?) possibly even one of my favorite incarnations of the master. i’ve got lots of quotes for you under the cut, but to give a short summary of So Why Do People Think the War Chief is the Master, Anyway?:

the war chief was introduced in the war games, written by malcolm hulke and terrance dicks. (dicks, it should be mentioned, was also co-creator of the master, with barry letts.) when hulke & dicks novelized the serials colony in space, terror of the autons, and the war games, they dropped several hints that the war chief and the master were the same man. so, the creators of the characters were the first to suggest a connection between them.

but, i hear you cry, didn’t dicks go on to write timewyrm: exodus, which shows us a future incarnation of the war chief that isn’t the master? yes, because the official editorial line for the vmas & vnas was that the war chief & the master were two distinct characters. this caused more than one writer that personally believed them to be the same to write otherwise professionally. however, i think dicks still dropped hints linking the two despite this editorial limitation.

and what about magnus, the guy who’s well-known in current fandom as the “academy era” version of the war chief? conceived of by gary russell, magnus was originally written as a young incarnation of the master, not the war chief. in flashback, goth opera and invasion of the cat-people, the character of magnus is a young master. so why did russell retcon his own character in divided loyalties to be the war chief instead? he did so out of respect for david mcintee, who had recently written a different backstory for the master in the dark path, using the name koschei. despite divided loyalties’ portrayal of magnus and koschei as separate characters, it actually in large part serves to conflate the two further, due to said retconning.

in faction paradox lore, the war king is a version of the master (i don’t need to make a post on that, do i?) that also was once the war chief.

and now we’re really getting murky canon-wise, but craig hinton’s rejected pda time’s champion (ultimately completed & published after his death, by chris mckeon) explicitly depicts the war chief as an incarnation as the master, as well as reasserting that magnus was the name the master used at the academy.

even with all this Evidence, i’m like you, anon — i just think it’s Fun. i mean, just look at the guy lmao. if you can’t see the way that future incarnations are riffing off him, idk what to tell you. and ultimately, it just makes the most sense to me. three & delgado’s first meeting doesn’t really strike me as a First Time Seeing You Since You Left kind of affair, but the way two & the war chief react to seeing each other? and the conversation they have abt it…? yeah. love it.

the ‘70s target novelizations

doctor who and the doomsday weapon (aka colony in space) was the first novelization to feature the master, and was written by malcolm hulke in 1974. it begins with a scene that doesn’t occur in the tv story, where a senile old time lord tells his apprentice about the theft of two tardises by a pair of time lords now calling themselves the doctor & the master:

“There have been two stolen, you know.” The younger Time Lord didn’t know. “By our enemies?” he asked. “No. By Time Lords. They both became bored with this place. It was too peaceful for them, not enough happening.” The old Keeper smiled to himself, as though remembering with some glee all the fuss when two TARDISes were stolen. “One of them nowadays calls himself ‘the Doctor.’ The other says he is ‘the Master.’”

if there have been only two tardises stolen (at this point), then where does that leave the other renegades we've seen on tv? well, the answer to that is that the target novelizations were meant to be self-contained, without prior knowledge of the show needed or past episodes taken into account. it’s easier and cleaner to present the doctor & the master as the only two renegades. except the older time lord continues, and a little further on says:

“There were tens of thousands of humans from the planet Earth, stranded on another planet where they thought they were re-fighting all the wars of Earth’s terrible history. The Doctor” — he interrupted himself — “I told you about him, didn’t I?” “Yes,” said the young Time Lord, now used to the old Keeper forgetting what he had already said. “You mentioned the Doctor and the Master.” “No, it wasn’t the Master,” said the old Keeper in his confused way. “The Master never does anything good for anyone. He’s thoroughly evil. Now what was I saying?”

despite the self-contained nature of the novelizations, the events of the war games (which had yet to be novelized, when this was written) have occurred and are specifically brought up in relation to the doctor & the master. what does ‘it wasn't the master’ mean? the keeper’s confusion leaves it open to interpretation, but the fact that it’s brought up at all is quite a hint.

terrance dicks then wrote doctor who and the terror of the autons in 1975. additional info is added to the scene between the doctor and the time lord who comes to warn him about the master’s arrival on earth:

“As a matter of fact, I’ve come to bring you a warning. An old friend of yours has arrived on Earth.” “One of our people? Who is it?” The Time Lord pronounced a string of mellifluous syllables — one of the strange Time Lord names that are never disclosed to outsiders. Then he added, “These days he calls himself the Master.”

he uses the master’s gallifreyan name first, as if the doctor doesn’t know the name he’s now going by yet. then, we’re given a description of the master, including:

Already he had been behind several Interplanetary Wars, always disappearing from the scene before he could be caught. If ever he were caught, his fate would be far worse than the Doctor’s exile. Once captured by the Time Lords, the Master’s life-stream would be thrown into reverse. Not only would he no longer exist, he would never have existed. It was the severest punishment in the Time Lords’ power.

which brings to mind the war games, as the punishment described here is exactly what the time lords did to the war lord & what they would have done to the war chief, if he hadn’t died/escaped. and, speaking of that escape, the doctor asks:

“Is his TARDIS still working?” “I’m afraid so. He got away before it could be de-energised.” “Then he was luckier than I,” said the Doctor sadly. He had never really got used to his exile.

unlike the doctor, who was unable to get away from the time lords at the end of the war games, the master was ‘luckier.’ this could, of course, mean a more general escape from the time lords by the master, but i’d say all the hints here are pointing in the same direction.

in 1979, malcolm hulke wrote doctor who and the war games. the first conversation between the doctor and the war chief is slightly changed, and again it’s reiterated that there have only been two tardises stolen. first, the war chief teases the doctor about who he must be:

The War Chief took the Doctor into his private office just off the war room and told his bodyguards to leave. “Now,” he said, “a traveller in a time-space machine. There is only one person you can be.” “I had every right to leave,” said the Doctor. “And to steal a TARDIS?” The War Chief smiled. “Not that I am criticising you. I left our people too. We are two of a kind.”

and later, he summarizes that their empire (their empire <3) will be secure because, again, they’re the only two with stolen tardises:

“Now I understand,” said the Doctor. “It’s my TARDIS that you want. But surely you have one of your own?” The War Chief smiled. “No more mine than yours is really yours! We are both thieves, Doctor. Yes, I do have a TARDIS hidden away. But are not two better than one? While I rest and enjoy the spoils of victory, you can patrol our empire. And I shall do the same for you.” “Our empire?” “We shall rule the galaxy without fear of opposition,’ the War Chief said confidently. “For we shall be the only two who can travel through both space and time.”

this (very romantic imo) proposal is also, of course, very reminiscent of delgado’s ‘half-share in the universe’ proposal to three.

timewyrm: exodus by terrance dicks

in 1991, terrance dicks wrote a vna, timewyrm: exodus. in this novel, the war chief appears as a botched two-bodied regeneration after his death at the end of the war games, called dr. kriegslieter. no mention of the master is made. as i said before, i think this is down to virgin’s editorial policy, and i think there are hints connecting the two nonetheless. like when the doctor realizes who kriegslieter is:

And behind them, aiding them, manipulating them, giving them the time technology they needed, the Time Lord renegade who called himself the War Chief. Or, in German, der kriegslieter. “Well, he couldn’t have spelled it out for me much more plainly,” muttered the Doctor.

like, c’mon. it’s just classic master shenanigans to have your alias be an extremely obvious translation of your name. and then there's also kriegslieter’s plan, which is to steal the doctor's body to use as his own (complete with sexual innuendo):

“Once I have wrested from it the secret of the TARDIS, your mind will be of no further interest to me. But your body…” “Please,” said the Doctor, looking embarrassed. “Ladies present.” “We are both Time Lords, Doctor, our brains and our bodies are compatible. Regeneration therapy is far beyond the War Lord’s scientists, but even they can manage a simple brain transplant.” Kriegslieter studied the Doctor with detached, clinical interest. “To be honest, it isn’t the body I would have chosen but it’s infinitely superior to the one I have. When all this is over Doctor, I shall be you — and you, or whatever shattered gibbering remnant of you is left, will be me. Appropriate, don’t you think? A crippled mind in a crippled body…”

how many times have we seen the master do that? maybe only once when this book was written (in the keeper of traken, of course) but at least three more times since then, by my count. in addition ‘we are both time lords’ is an echo of both two & the war chief's conversation and three & delgado’s (in the mind of evil, the claws of axos, and colony in space).

kriegslieter also calls seven ‘my dear doctor’ throughout, which is not a quirk of speech that the war chief has been ever shown to have. i can't claim it's unique to the master, but i think there's a certain history there. (did you know ainley says it five times in one 50 min long serial?)

magnus, as the master

as said before, the character of magnus was introduced in comic flashback, which appeared in the doctor who magazine winter special for 1992 and was commissioned and edited by gary russell (& written by warwick gray). it depicts seven and benny viewing a scene from the doctor’s past, where two old friends, thete and magnus, are at odds.

magnus was, at the time of this comic's creation, meant to be the master. there is no connection to the war chief in this story. which is why when goth opera, written by paul cornell, is published in 1994, magnus is the name used for the young master when listing out the doctor's school friends:

“That was when I was young and wild, Doctor. My contemporaries and I grew up to take our responsibilities seriously.” “Ah…” The Doctor nodded. “Unlike my year. I begin to see.” “Yes.” Ruath warmed to her subject, sipping from the goblet. Her eyes never left the Doctor’s. “Mortimus, the Rani, that idiot Magnus. And you, Doctor. All graduates of Borusa’s Academy for scoundrels.”

and, in 1995, when gary russell wrote invasion of the cat-people, he again used magnus as a name for the young master, referencing the master running out of lives far more quickly than the doctor by the time of the deadly assassin:

Polly smiled. “I’m glad you’re completely recovered, Doctor. You had us worried, you know.” “Regeneration’s a tricky thing,” he said. “And it was my first one. Always the trickiest. They’re supposed to get better as they go on, so long as you don’t flitter them. Always used to say to my academy chum Magnus, ‘Magnus,’ I’d say, ‘Magnus, don’t throw old bodies away like you would a suit. They don’t grow on trees.’ Or something like that. Never listened though.”

when gary russell wrote divided loyalties in 1999, he followed mcintee’s lead in using koschei as the name for a young master, and instead retconned magnus a younger war chief, showing the two of them interacting during the doctor’s academy days — the final nail in the coffin of our lil theory, right? well, all i’m going to say to that is that all the academy era stuff we see is actually a nightmare the fifth doctor is having. so who’s to say he didn't dream his best friend as two different people? (he forgot which one of them killed a guy with a rock, after all...)

the war chief king

in the book of the war, the 2002 faction paradox ‘encyclopedia’ edited by lawrence miles, the entry on the war king states:

His personal assistant notes that his office is brimming with official business, but devoid of decoration. The only concession he makes to sentimentality are the components of a hypercube, twelve white squares stacked neatly on his desk. Its significance is unclear, but it’s thought to be the War King’s last remaining link with his unfortunate past.

the very first use of a hypercube was, of course, at the end of the war games, when the second doctor called the time lords in. if that's not concrete enough for you, the war king spells it out even more clearly in the 2021 audio sabbath and the king:

THE WAR KING: I have failed to introduce myself. I am— ah, but as we have just seen: names have power. I do not think I shall grace you with one of my true names, Sabbath, no, not yet. Let’s see. The Deathless? Oh, let us not get ahead of ourselves just yet. Chief and Master, Minister and Magistrate, President and King… I have been many things.

time’s champion

and finally we have time’s champion, originally written in the '80s(?) by craig hinton, completed and published by chris mckeon in 2008. first, we have mel stumbling upon a corridor of portraits in the tardis:

Her first impression was that the Doctor was at the end of a long, thin corridor. And then she realised what the corridor was. An art gallery, the length hung with paintings, from the doorway to the far distance. As she started padding silently along the corridor, she looked at the paintings, and saw they were all portraits. Portraits painted in a variety of styles, from photo-realistic to impressionist, and everything in between. And she recognised some of the subjects. […] Moving on, Mel had hoped for something a little less depressing, but it wasn’t to be. The atmosphere had changed again: it was still cold, but a sterile light was now bathing the area. Then she realised why: the sterility, the coldness — trademarks of the Time Lords. This must be the Doctor’s own people. Pride of place was given to the Master — or rather the Masters: the familiar, music-hall villain in his velvet penguin suit had been captured in all his melodramatic glory, but there was also a suave, older man, his eyes radiating a fierce, evil intelligence wrapped in charm, next to which was positioned the portrait of a young, satanically handsome man with long, sharp sideburns and a thin, beard-length moustache, whose hand vainly clutched at a strange medallion hanging around his neck, as if clinging to the only power in his possession. And then there was an image of the cadaver, that rotting corpse that Mel knew was all that remained of the Doctor’s oldest friend and oldest enemy, animated by nothing but pure malice and spite.

the description of the ‘satanically handsome man’ is obviously the war chief. and then, the doctor remembers events from his past:

The night time vanished into the shadows of light, as new images, all familiar, threw themselves past the Doctor’s eyes: his tedious years at the Academy, his rise in the Time Lord hierarchy, his flight from Gallifrey, the early years of his exile, the planet of the War Games and his reunion with the Master, the lost years of imposed servitude to the Time Lords, all his memories and so many more impressed their way across the Doctor’s vision, even up to the moment of the present day. Then, abruptly, the vision ended. The Keeper began to speak again.

his reunion with the master occurs during the war games and precedes his exile (which is when his meeting with delgado’s master occurs). and magnus is once again used as a name for the young master:

The Doctor and Benton managed to glimpse him as he raced past. He was young, with a curving moustache and a dark, haughty face accustomed to obedience but now shadowed and twisted by fear. He ran onwards without even pausing to acknowledge their presence. He seemed desperate to outrun something. Moments later, a group of well-armed and uniformed men rounded the corridor and also hurried past the Doctor’s party, following the fleeing man in their wake. Steadying himself against the cool stone wall at his side, the Doctor watched the squad pass, recognising them as members of the Chancellery Guard, but clothed in armour and dress from the long departed era of his days in the Academy. The Doctor paused, wondering where he had seen that face before. “Magnus?” the Doctor whispered. Benton stepped over to the Doctor. “Who was that bloke those boys were chasing after, Doc? He looked a bit like the Master.” The Doctor gazed into the distance. “That he did, and for good reason.”

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

sooo I have some questions about mason becuase he seems like a really interesting character. Also it was kind of funny how he’s fine with beating up or electrocuting a pet but the second someone lets them go online or gives them slightly lax rules, he’s like oh no this poor sweetheart, this is so sad😞 . Would he punish a pet for panicking a lot or getting freaked out easily? Or what if a pet was transgender? Would he tell them they were just being silly or would he actually listen to them? What if a pet saved his life? Would he be grateful?

Thank you for the interest!! Mason is what I like to call an evil therapist with a HEALTHY dose of condescension.

Would he punish a pet for panicking/freaking out easily?

Not necessarily, it depends on why the pet is scared. If there is something genuinely stressful going on (getting a new owner, tension in the home, medical, even something like a thunderstorm) he would not punish them. In his mind, that is not willful disobedience. They are scared, they are stressed, and pets are simple creatures that struggle to regulate themselves. That is part of the owners job. If the panic stems from like a panic disorder, Mason is incredibly sympathetic of that. He would train the pet with calming exercises they can use and suggest medication if needed.

If he gets the vibe the panic is an act of manipulation, that will be punished.

What if a pet saved his life? Would he be grateful?

Very! But it wouldn’t change anything. You know those news stories of dogs dragging children out of fires or cats alerting parents that the child was having a medical emergency? He’d see it like that. He’d absolutely thank the pet and do an interview on the news but in the end the pet is still just a pet.

And this one was a fascinating question Nonny!!! I did put it under the cut because of some transphobia, however I mostly just talk about gender in my worldbuilding. Perhaps gatekeeping or delusion is a better term but the end result is transphobia so I’m gonna warn as such.

What if a pet was transgender? Would he tell them they’re just being silly or actually listen to them?

It should be emphasized again that Mason does not believe pets are human. He does not think they are people. You cannot change his mind, he is stuck in this delusion.

… you know what. I don’t think Mason believes pets know what gender is. In a way he sees them as toys or dolls, and he is the one making decisions about what they wear. If he thinks Rudy would look cute in a dress he’d just buy Rudy a dress. Rudy does not get a choice in what he’s wearing, not in any meaningful way.

If a pet (for some reason lmao) came to him and said they’re trans, he might laugh and say “from what?” He’d also ask where they even heard that and likely dismiss it as “that’s something for humans. You don’t need to worry about it.”

I mean, also in this world I’ve created literally what WOULD gender mean to a pet? There are no specific gender roles or expectations- they’re all just pets. And sterile. There’s no social influence of how they’re supposed to be acted based on their assigned gender at birth. Oh for sure they have expectations but they’re all based on their “class” for a lack of a better term.

Fuck me my ocs should have way more weirdness with their gender identity after being freed. That would be so bonkers to go from a world where it doesn’t exist to where it dictates everything.

(Also in the end this still ends up having a lot of my own feeling and opinions about gender in it. Your characters are the biggest fucking snitches every time. Honestly I have tussled with gender specific stuff for a while but it’s mostly based in religious trauma. I’m trying to sort it out but it’s a complicated ever changing messy thing. Idk. Slowly chipping away at it. I’m saying this to be transparent and as a plea to not be abrasive. I don’t expect it but I am fucking delicate sometimes and need to explicitly explain why I do or think the things I do. Is this too raw for a post on tumblr.com about my silly little ocs? Yes absolutely. Should i delete this part? yes. Will I?)

[emblazons]

“The duffers are just two straight white guys who want the hero to get the girl, with a slap dash of role reversal because she’s the one with powers”

Counter: The Duffers are two nerdy white guys who have never once been confirmed as straight (one simply happens to be married to a woman) who had a chance taken on them by a big studio who now—by some social deference to nostalgia with thrilling elements—show run one of the most popular shows in the world.

(forewarning for some pettiness & some sarcasm lmao)

They have literally said they are film nerds surprised by their audience because they expected it to appeal only to people like them: fellow nerds and film kids (who went to one of the most well-respected film schools in California, and maybe the states) whose OG pitch was inspired by Denis Villeneuve (director of Prisoners, Arrival, Blade Runner 2049, & Dune to name a few), True Detective (Cary Fukunaga), and the subversive horrors & fantasies of their childhood—and who have shown season over season they are entirely unafraid to vilify homophobia, subvert heteronormativity, and tell queer stories with deference to the emotions of the queer person.

They have also again and again shown that they do not necessarily defer to or even agree with the things their actors say implicitly (making faces when they say things they don’t necessarily agree with) and explicitly (saying “we’re not game of thrones’ when Millie + Noah said they should start killing people off). They have said more than once that they regret leaning into public opinion or fan desires over the story they want to tell, and that they will not be doing so for their final seasons (despite knowing it will upset some of their fans).

Now….with all of this in mind—you want to bet that these two men are planning on “subverting the trope” by doing…the same shit every show you’ve ever seen do to their queer characters? To undermine an entire season of romantic tension they placed between two of the male leads in an ensemble cast, INCLUDING confirming that one of them is in fact gay and in love with the other one, despite knowing how important good storytelling is to them based on their words and inspirations? To internalize the words of one of their actors at a fan con (who merely said he “doesn’t think” something, and then said “we’ll see”) as law over 6.5 years of evidence proving they are literally just going to do what they want, actors and audience be damned?

Lmao. Just…lmao.

I don’t worship the duffers by any stretch of the imagination (and in fact have a fair amount of critique for how certain things were handled) but…even I know believing their idea of a good story is 1) gonna do the same shit everyone else has before them to queer characters they’ve already shown more respect to than not and 2) going to be dictated by the whims of people upset at them for simultaneously being too heteronormative and not heteronormative enough is…laughable, to say the least.

Please realize that actors and fans are not the central drivers of story in this show (unlike so many others) and rest from the constant emotional rollercoaster of believing everyone but the people who run the story. I promise you will know a lot more peace, in life and on the internet lmaooooo

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Shivers quivers shakes trembles…. Hello :3 giggles I think this ask will be shorter than my others but… yk how we talked about how sugu would react to u getting cheated on a while ago? I’m curious now and. How do u think satoru would react?? ALSOOO how do you think stsg would react if you told them together……….. i hope u don’t mind that this is a less of a “me telling u my thoughts” and more of a “what r ur thoughts on this” kinda thing :,3 brain juice has not been flowing recently 😞 but ur takes are always amazing so…………….. I know whatever u say will be yummy and I will devour it all >:) — stsg anon 🧁🥧🍰🍨🍩🍪🍧🧇🥞 < all of the treats for yew!!!!!

me when stsg anon appears in my inbox

FIRST OF ALLLLL pls never ever apologize for your asks 🔫 this is a threat 🔫🔫 i love chatting w you no matter how long/short they r!!! and you don’t ever have to feel pressured to come up w your own thoughts either!!!! i love yapping at you!!!!! :3

w that being said ….. i shall yap >:3 HONESTLY THOUGHH i think stsg are very similar when it comes to this concept!!! in the sense that. i think they’ll comfort you first and foremost, then deal w your cheater ex later. i could see satoru being in Actual Disbelief? like?? he almost almost asks if you’re joking. but you’re crying so?? obviously you’re not????? but the idea that anyone would cheat on you genuinely makes him Flabbergasted. he wants to laugh. he doesn’t but he wants to. he hates seeing you sad. he’s almost offended.

it’s just a mess of emotion n lots and LOTS of hate aimed toward your ex 😭😭 he’s like. no fucking way that loser cheated on you???? it’s obvious that he’s rlly pissed but i think he has enough control over his emotions that it sounds like he’s just making jokes to cheer you up. and he IS but he also feels so????? genuinely angry?????? and he doesn’t know how to deal w that. he’s worried abt comforting you too…… i don’t think satoru sees himself as someone who’s good at comforting others At All but he actually kinda is. he’ll hug you tightly and sit down on the couch w you in his lap. and he stays quiet until you’ve calmed down. then he starts a very passionate, hateful rant abt your ex in hopes of making you laugh/calming himself down…… and if he manages to pull a lil smile out of you he just goes 🥺 . you’re his baby. he doesn’t really know how to treat you when you get this fragile but it also makes him feel so complete somehow. this man lives for cheering you up.

ANYWAYYYY satoru will then do the same thing as sugu would <333 which is <33333 to confront your ex. tbh i think suguru is more likely to get violent than he is LMAO but i doubt either of them would (unless your ex said something Awful abt you in front of them in which case… good luck bud)…. he just wants to make it Very Clear that your ex has no business being in your life anymore. he’s very firm and very scary. if your ex tries to start something he will laugh in their face. might also subtly declare himself as your boyfriend…. not explicitly bc. he’s Not your bf. but i think he makes sure your ex understands that he loves you + he’s better than them + they can forget abt crawling back to you once they realize the mistake they’ve made.

and when it comes to stsg together……. i think. the only difference is that one of them will stay to soothe you while the other one instantly goes to confront your ex 😭😭 they’re saving time!!! and let’s be honest, suguru will be the one staying behind. the caretaker of all time. (even tho he really really wants to tell your ex off himself… but that can wait for now). so satoru runs off, suguru makes sure you get the tears out, and then satoru comes back w a bunch of your favorite treats :3 they’re sweetiepies.

i also feel like they’d have a talk together once you’re asleep… likeee maybe you’re all sleeping in the same room bc you’re still very very upset and in need of comfort :((((( and as soon as you start to snooze they talk…… abt you……. and abt how soon they should start hinting to you abt their Own feelings. satoru would want to do so immediately, bc he can’t Stand the idea of you being hung up on your ex while they love you so fervently, but suguru would convince him to be patient. he doesn’t want them to end up rushing you in any way…. but deep down he also wants you to know how loved you are by them. sniffle.

plot twist you’re still wide awake :3 and blushing furiously :33 but that’s another story…..