#I don’t really benefit from putting pieces together and knowing more then I should tbh

[wri0thesley]

A Well Rounded Education (2): Grading Boundaries (Fem!Reader x Nanami Kento, 7.5k)

series synopsis: You are a teacher’s aid to teacher Gojo Satoru, training to be able to take over your own class next year by shadowing and helping him out. Gojo does not make things easy for anybody.

chapter synopsis: the father of one of your students requested a meeting to ask about ways of improving his son’s grades. after working with him for a few weeks, nanami wants to thank you for helping yuji out in his own personal way. 

NSFW. AFAB reader, fem pronouns. oral sex (male on female and female on male), massage, nanami is just a gentleman after toji tbh.

(a well rounded education m.list and navigation)

1.

You oversleep the next morning and for the first time since beginning your work as Gojo’s teaching aid, the other man is at his desk before you manage to rush into the classroom. He’s relaxed, arms behind his head, feet up on the desk – and when he sees you, he gives you a cheery wave and a grin.

“Found this on the floor this morning!” He says to you, using his thumb to flip you something small and round that you only manage to catch through sheer dumb luck. You stare down at the thing you’re cradling in your palm; one of the round buttons from your blouse, that you guess you missed after Toji had left and you’d had to try and pull yourself together.

““S-sorry about that,” you babble, your mind working eighty miles a minute to think of a proper excuse. “I-it got caught on my jacket when I was getting ready to leave last night, I wondered where it had gotten to--”

“How’d the meeting with Tsumiki go?”

“Huh?” You ask, blinking down at the button still, trying to fight the heat that is crawling up your face as you shove the accusing object into the pocket of your neatly tailored jacket. “Oh! It wasn’t Tsumiki. It was Mr Fushiguro, actually. M-Megumi’s father?”

There’s a pause in the air, almost as if it’s rippling with tension. When you look up, Gojo is staring at you, his eyes implacable behind dark lenses.

“I see,” he says. “That’s unusual.”

“I gave him all the paperwork, explained the probation and everything,” you hurry to say, almost tripping over your words. You don’t like the way he’s staring at you, and you find yourself shifting from foot to foot, hoping you don’t look like someone who let their student’s father rail you over their boss’ desk. “Megumi’ll be back in school next week, and hopefully nothing like this will happen again--”

“Mm,” Gojo says. You’ve never heard him sound that serious before, ignoring the chance to poke a little fun. His voice usually pitches and modulates, laughing, before he cracks some kind of inane joke that makes you and half the class wince. “I’ve got a meeting tonight, by the way. I was hoping you’d sit in with me.”

“Please don’t palm off more of your dirty work on me,” you say to him, as you go over to your own little makeshift table in the corner of your room and begin to rifle through your bag for the things you’ll need for the day. “To-- Mr Fushiguro was kind of scary, honestly.”

“Oh, it’s nothing like that!” Gojo waves your worries away with a hand, immediately dismissing it. “No, it’s Yuji’s dad – he wants to talk about his grades, I think? I said I don’t think it really matters, and he got really quiet and kind of angry on the phone with me.” Gojo shrugs. Of course Gojo said something like that. You’re not sure Gojo himself has ever worried about something in his life. “Honestly, he’s a. . . businessman type. Very serious! I just want someone to diffuse the tension a bit!” Gojo grins at you. “So you’re my human shield!”

Right.

Far be it for you to think that Gojo might have an educational reason for wanting you to sit in on this meeting. Still . . . you really like Yuji. You know that sometimes his inability to understand things frustrates him – he’s constant energy, and his mind just can’t keep up with the pace of the rest of him. You’d like to help where you can! And you know that Gojo’s probably not going to be able to offer any helpful advice – his classes might work for some kids, and Yuji does really like him, but that’s a boy who would probably benefit from some individualised attention and someone a little quieter.

You don’t like the idea of him with a father who pushes him academically and doesn’t care about his other achievements. Biting your lip, you nod, busying yourself with laying out the pens on your desk and flicking through one of your training books to see if there’s anything about meetings with parents. This one, you think and hope, is definitely not going to end up the same way yesterday’s meeting did.

There’s a kind of nervous energy in Yuji all day. He drops his pen, he shoots you agonised looks until you come over to check his work, and as everyone is milling out to go to lunch, he comes to stand in front of you, kicking his toe on the floor. You smile at him, seeing how he’s vibrating, rocking on the balls of his feet – hoping that the smile might at least calm him down some.

“My Dad’s meeting with Mr Gojo tonight,” Yuji eventually blurts. Without Megumi in class to tamper down some of his more bombastic nature, Yuji’s voice pitches and wavers. “I’m-- Mr Gojo doesn’t care about grades, but my Dad’s like, ‘you should apply yourself more, you have it in you’ and . . . and I guess I’m worried?” He brings a finger to his chin, dwelling on the thought. The way he says it, it’s almost like he’s not usually aware of the idea of ‘worry’ – oh, to be a twelve year old boy!

“I know,” you say, after a proper time has elapsed to make Yuji think you’ve really dwelt on the situation. You reach into your own bag to pull out the carefully prepared lunch you have in there – you could go to the staff-room, but honestly, you’re still feeling a bit wobbly after last night’s events and you don’t want to go around into the hum of people who’ll gather you up into bubbles of small talk. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m sitting in on the meeting too.” You hope your smile is reassuring. “It’s not going to be all doom and gloom, I promise.”

That actually . . . does seem to soothe Yuji.

“My grades are really bad,” he says. “I just . . . I’m not smart, y’know? Megumi knows all this stuff, and I’m just . . . dumb.”

“Being good at school stuff isn’t everything,” you say to Yuji. “You’ve got your own talents. Look at you on the sports field!” He blushes in the way young boys do when they’re being complimented by anybody, a kind of awkward ‘oh, shucks, don’t make me think that I’m good at anything’. You smile. “I’m sure your Dad understands that too.”

“Oh, he does!” Yuji’s eyes widen. You feel a little lock around your chest loosen, just a bit. There’s hero worship clear in Yuji’s eyes now. “He just thinks I should live up to my . . . what’s he call it? Full potential!” He twists his lip, and then leans in, conspiratorially. “He doesn’t like Mr Gojo. He doesn’t think he’s serious.”

Despite yourself, your lips curve into a smile. You aren’t going to trash talk your colleague to a kid that you’re in charge of, but all of the other staff just seem to roll their eyes and let Satoru Gojo get on with whatever he’s doing because apparently he was a prodigy at college or something. It’s nice to know at least someone is on your side, even if you’ll hopefully only ever see him once or twice during your whole year here.

“Don’t worry,” you say to Yuji. “I’ll try and handle it. Now, you should go! All the other boys look like they’re about to play a game of football--”

Yuji’s eyes brighten and he grins, turning away immediately, mind quickly flitting to something more pressing. He shouts a goodbye and a thank you to you even as he’s racing out of the door, almost too fast to be believed.

2.

Kento Nanami (Itadori is his ex-wife’s name, he tells you with a sigh, but the name that Yuji was born with and he’s reluctant to have it changed) is very obviously a businessman, in a well-pressed grey suit and a navy shirt, a yellow tie tight to his throat. He’s wearing suspenders beneath the jacket, an expensive watch on his wrist, and a pair of small glasses perched on a sharp nose. A solemn face, sculpted jaw. He has cheekbones that you think could cut fucking diamonds into pieces, a wave of carefully styled blonde hair over a proud forehead--

What the fuck is going on at this school that it seems like all of the dads are so hot? You do your level best not to look at him too much, as Gojo introduces you and he shakes your hand. He looks at you with his eyes narrowed just a touch; you think he’s trying to get the measure of you, and whether you’re just going to be here to back up Gojo. There’s an air of tiredness to this man that suggests he will not take any of your colleague’s nonsense, and that thought bolsters you when he puts down his briefcase and neatly folds his hands on his lap, looking from you to Gojo.

“I want to talk about Yuji’s grades,” he says, “and how we can help him improve them.”

You like him already. The way he says ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ – the withering gaze that he sets on Gojo, as the white-haired man stretches his arms out above him.

“I told you on the phone,” Gojo says. “They’re just grades--”

“Grades that will follow Yuji throughout his career in this school, and eventually to high school, and eventually to college,” Nanami’s voice is very sure of itself, cutting through Gojo with ease. “I just want to ensure that he has the best chance possible. I want to make sure he’s living up to himself.”

Gojo – fucking Gojo – stifles a yawn behind his hand, and you see that Nanami’s hand flexes on his thigh (wow, his hands are big). You cut across before the two of them can come to blows.

“Yuji’s a bright boy,” you say. “He just needs . . . a little extra help. Someone to sit with him and explain what’s going on, maybe just go over the material again.” You give Nanami a nervous smile. “He’s not the only one in the class, honestly. I-- Mr Gojo’s teaching methods can be--”

“Innovative—” (Gojo says).

“Erratic—” (Nanami says).

“Unusual,” you decide on, in the end, “and not every child is going to thrive.”

“He won’t let me ask them to move into Miss Utahime’s class,” Nanami says, wearily. “Yuji is very fond of Mr Gojo.”

(You know that, and so does Gojo; the white-haired man gives a cocky grin to both of you).

“I enjoy teaching Yuji,” you say. “He’s good-hearted, enthusiastic – he throws himself into everything he does.” Nanami’s tired eyes seem to brighten behind the glasses at the compliment to his son, his lips lifting at the corners in the briefest twitch of a smile.

“He does,” Nanami says, and it’s clear from his tone that he’s very proud of Yuji. You feel bad for thinking he might be the kind of pushy, demanding father that you’d been warned you may encounter in this profession. With Nanami in front of you, it’s clear he just wants the best for Yuji and is concerned that Gojo might not be that ‘best’. You can’t blame him. You often think Gojo behaves more like a child than half of the kids in the class. “Yes, those are all of his best qualities.”

You nervously shift your gaze to Gojo, who is waiting for your next move.

“I’d be happy to work with him,” you say, eventually. “Maybe set up some kind of . . . drop-in, for students having trouble with the work, over free periods? I won’t make them, of course, but . . . I think my methods and Mr Gojo’s are very different, Sir.”

Nanami’s shoulders relax just a touch. He stands, nodding, taking your hand to shake it.

“I don’t doubt it, Miss,” he says – and as he touches you, a frisson of electricity seems to pass between the two of you. His hands are big and surprisingly soft, and as he grasps your hand you can suddenly sense strength behind the grasp. You hope that your surprise doesn’t register in your face, as he turns and inclines his head slightly at Gojo (Gojo does not get a handshake, you do not fail to notice).

“I hope that it helps,” Nanami says, as he leaves. And honestly . . . you do too.

3.

Nanami asks to schedule a meeting with you, two weeks after you’ve begun working with some of the lower-achieving children in the class. Yuji’s grades have been improving, slowly and steadily – the boy looking at you with a grin when tests are handed back with letters far higher up in the alphabet than he’s used to getting.

“Ah, I can leave you to deal with that one,” Gojo says, grinning at you when he hears about it. “You’re the one working miracles, after all! I think Mr Nanami would just be displeased to see me sat with you, and I’m not gonna complain about not having to deal with a guy like that!”

You’re inclined to agree. So you watch Gojo leave that afternoon blithely, like he hasn’t got a care in the world – his bag is full of essays that need to be marked over the weekend, but somehow you think you’ll have a stack pressed into your own hands on Monday morning, more than a little crumpled, as Gojo insists you should get used to doing some marking yourself.

You wait for Nanami with your head in a book, steadfastly ignoring Gojo’s desk and sitting by your own table in the corner of the classroom instead. Last time you were alone with a student’s father in this room, you got to know that desk far too intimately.

Nanami is exactly on time, the second hand of the clock just ticking past the twelve as he knocks on the door and you call for him to come in. Gojo does have an office, and he’s said you can use that if you want – but the few times you’ve been in Gojo’s office, you’ve been overwhelmed by the chaotic mess that the man surrounds himself with. The classroom, if nothing else, at least looks peaceful.

Nanami sits across your table, well-mannered and polite, as you put your book down and smile.

“You wanted to talk about how Yuji’s doing?” You ask him. “It’s only been two weeks, but I think we can already see quite a bit of improvement--”

“Yes,” he says. “I think we can.”

Nanami does not heap you with praise; you get the impression that he’s not the kind of man who heaps anybody with praise. You get the impression he’s the kind of man who gives you an approving look, a pat on the shoulder, a nod – you find that you’re craving that approval yourself, looking at him across from you.

“I look at his homework sometimes,” Nanami says. “He’s getting a lot more of it himself, now. Not pulling his hair out at the dining table. You’re . . . you’re really doing a very good job, you know.”

Your insides fizz at the compliment. Gojo doesn’t give them out, either – but you’re the kind of person who occasionally needs to be told they’re doing the right thing, in order to motivate them to carry on. Nanami’s compliment carries a weight in your heart that lodges there like a secret.

You can’t remember the last time someone said you were doing a good job.

You and Nanami talk through the grading rubric, the other topics that are set to be covered before the end of term – how you’re trying to get Gojo to be a little more academic in his lessons, but it’s not working. You mention that lots of the other kids seem to be thriving under having a chance to go back over the material that your mentor occasionally skips and side-steps around, imparting his knowledge in his own particular way. Thoughts of Gojo make your mind swim with fatigue.

You hadn’t realised, until you started talking about it, but you also can’t remember your mind not being consumed by thoughts of your work at any point in the last few weeks. You’re always worrying about something; your mind always rushing from one possible bad outcome to the next. The kids, your training, Gojo, the school, the heavy weight of choosing a career where the next generation depends on you--

“You look tired,” Nanami says, his face twisted in sympathy. “Have you been getting enough sleep?”

You haven’t, really – thoughts of the class, and your work, and whether you’re even cut out for this as a career have been haunting you more and more recently, as you watch Gojo stumble irresponsibly from day to day. You feel like you get home, do some work for the next day, go to sleep, and immediately go to work again with nothing in between. You look at Nanami, who’s all concern, and you know you shouldn’t, but--

“I’m just getting stressed from everything happening all at once,” you say, forcing yourself to smile. “I have a lot of assessments coming up, reports I should be writing, reports that are written about me. Ah, those ones-- those are by Mr Gojo--”

“Ahh,” he looks incredibly sympathetic at that one.

“There’s just,” you falter. “A lot. And if I don’t come to work feeling my best and supporting them all, I feel like I’m letting the kids down, but I also just feel kind of bone-weary aching all of the time—”

Nanami’s hand reaches across the table, taking ahold of yours. His palms are warm and rough, and the thumb that rubs soothing circles against the base of your own is comforting. You sigh, eyelids half flickering closed.

“I shouldn’t have said anything to you,” you murmur, the small moment of intimacy (when you’ve spent the last two weeks feeling like you’re lurching from place to place and nobody is paying attention) sending a much-needed hit of comfort to the marrow of your bones. “You shouldn’t have to listen to my problems.”

Nanami’s lips tilt.

“I’d say it’s the least I could do,” he says, drily, “after everything you’ve done for Yuji – and after you’ve had to deal with Mr Gojo.” The look he gives you is quietly private, a shared in-joke between the two of you that makes you smile in response. His response almost makes you forget that he’s touching you, and though the touch is innocuous, you also know it’s unprofessional--

You stare at his hand on yours. It’s the same arm that he wears his expensive wristwatch on, and the sleeve of his suit jacket has ridden up to reveal just a hint of the shape beneath, a prominently veined wrist. Your throat goes dry looking at it, as you think of how strong he had seemed that time he’d shook your hand--

He’s looking at where the two of you are touching, too – a faint spot of red fading in high on his cheekbones. He coughs, awkward, but doesn’t move his hand. He swallows.

“You’re very pretty, you know,” Nanami says, and your body seems to flood with heat. You should say something about how inappropriate that is, thank him for coming to see you and the sweet words he’d said about how you were helping Yuji along, but somehow you can’t bring yourself to do it when he’s looking at you like that. “It sounds very hypocritical coming from me, because anyone who knows me will tell you that I don’t get enough of it myself– but you should rest more. Relax.”

You can imagine him ramrod straight behind a desk, eyes narrowed behind spreadsheets and numbers. You can definitely imagine him tired and drooping, working too hard. You smile again, helplessly, the look apologetic. You’re not very good at things like that.  

“You look stiff,” he says. “Here--”

He stands. You’d forgotten how tall he was, the breadth of him – he unbuttons his jacket neatly, laying it over the back of the chair. Without that, the width of his shoulders is really apparent. You don’t realise you’re staring until he makes a little noise, a ‘hmph’ of amusement, eyes not meeting yours, thumbs unbuttoning his cuffs and pushing the sleeves up to his elbows.

He’s behind you.

“I’ve been told I’m good at this,” he says. “Big hands, I suppose?”

You’re about to ask him what he’s doing when those same big hands are suddenly on your shoulders, the same thumbs that were just rubbing tender circles onto your hand digging into your shoulder-blades in a massage that you feel down to your toes. You don’t realise you’ve let out a noise and relaxed back into the massage until Nanami lets out a low hum that you think is mirth.

The noise you make as he works out that persistent knot in the back of your neck is near-on pornographic, and both of you know it – heat rushing to your face, Nanami clearing his throat. If somebody walking by had heard that – if they came into the classroom, to see you getting a massage from Yuji’s father--

How do you keep getting into these situations? Nobody warned you about this part of working in a school. Why do his hands feel so fucking good on you, fingers digging into your skin – you moan again, rolling back into his touch.

There’s a clipped quality to his voice when he speaks;

“Wait a second.” Your eyes flutter open as his hands leave you, watching in distress as he walks to the door. If you’re expecting him to leave, you’re surprised when what actually happens is that he twists the lock, so nobody can walk in on the two of you doing something so. . . incongruous with both the classroom around you and the knowledge of what exactly the relationship between you is.

He gives you another one of those half-smiles and you feel a familiar throb in your lower half. Oh, this is unfair – he’s so handsome, so unruffled, so gentle as he takes back his position behind you and touches you again.

“This would feel better on your bare skin,” he murmurs, the words ghosting along you as a politely worded request, and obediently your fingers deftly unbutton your blouse without hesitation. This time, you’re glad that there’s no clatter of lost buttons on the floor – this time, you’re able to push it off your shoulders yourself. Nanami sighs as you let the fabric drop, pooling behind you in a crumpled mess. One of his fingertips traces your spine, raising gooseflesh on the sensitive skin.

“Don’t you have someone at home to do this for you?” He asks, voice soft and low like velvet, as he kneads the skin, tension draining out of you more and more with each passing minute. The question is worded carefully, but both of you know what he’s asking.

“Just me,” you say, as his hands slide forward, thumbs digging into your shoulders but fingers resting over your collarbone, his hands so big on you.

“Pity,” Nanami breathes, but it doesn’t sound like he’s particularly unhappy about it. Your breath catches as he moves from your shoulders, further, further, fingertips brushing the swell of your breast in your (sensible, today) bra. He leans forward, his lips against the shell of your ear. “You can tell me to stop if you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to,” you find yourself saying, and his thin lips curve into a smile that you feel.

“I’m glad,” he murmurs – and then, fingers diving beneath the cups of the bra, kneading the soft flesh, the plush of your  body. You’re relaxing bonelessly into his touch when one finger brushes your nipple, sending a frisson of electricity right to the place between your thighs. Your bra straps are slipped off your shoulders, a slight lean forward so he can unclip the thing and let it fall onto the ground. Nanami sighs, almost reverent – when he moves his hand from your chest, you feel their absence keenly, a soft noise of dismay escaping you.

“Pull your chair out,” he says. You do; the legs scraping across the floor. Nanami himself moves so he’s no longer behind you, coming around to the front – casually, unhurriedly lowering himself to his knees in front of you. He reaches up to his face and removes his glasses, laying them neatly on the table to one side of him.

His eyes drink you in and you find your skin prickling with heat. You should be embarrassed; you shouldn’t be here at all, actually, alone in your classroom (again!) with someone’s father (again!), willing to let them look at you and touch you and more (again!). But Nanami reaches in, touching you so gently, fingertips and thumbs delicate as feathers as he strokes over your breast and waist and stomach. As he leans forward and licks a slow, agonising lap over your nipple until it hardens and pebbles, your entire body thrumming with desire. As he sucks it into his mouth, teeth nipping just hard enough at the bud that your body lights on fire, before he kisses a line across your sternum to give the other nipple the same treatment.

He slides his hands past your waist, unbuttoning and unzipping your pencil skirt with one hand, the cotton pulled down over your thighs. Nanami sighs again, cupping your hips, nudging your stockinged knee with his cheek.

“You’re lovely,” he says, affectionate, and it feels so intimate that your heart beats too fast against your chest. “Can I--?” Hands against the sides of your underwear, sliding over you in a way that leaves hot trails of fire behind him. You should be embarrassed that he can clearly see the wet patch, the way the sodden fabric clings to the petals of your sex – but when he’s looking at you like that. . . You can’t make yourself feel it. You nod, sighing, lifting your hips from the seat of the chair to assist in the removal of that particular garment. A light touch on your inner thighs has you spreading your legs further for him, his eyes drinking in the slick folds, the needy glint of your wetness.

He brings his face closer, taking a long breath in, inhaling your scent. The wash of his breath across you on the exhale fans across the length of you, your clit aching with need to be touched, paid attention to. Nanami takes his time, though – your thighs are kissed, first, his lips lingering on the soft skin, suckling gentle love-bites into the flesh. Occasionally, the briefest flash of his teeth, scraping across the sensitive area – always followed by a soothe, a kiss, a lick. Every one of them makes your body bloom into warm needy desire; you can feel how wet you are, know it must be soaking the chair beneath you even before Nanami has used his mouth on you properly.

He huffs out a chuckle as you whine, your hips tilting towards his mouth.

“You want me to use my mouth?” He asks you, his tongue gently lapping at one of the places he’s kissed. “On you, sweetheart?”

“Mm—mmhmm,” you say, breathlessly, not entirely sure that your mind is able to form any coherent sentences with Nanami knelt between your thighs. He places a chaste kiss on the mound above your clit, pulling back.

“Use your words,” he encourages you. There’s a stern dominance to him; coated in fondness, yes, but . . . an order, nonetheless. “I can make you feel so good--”

“Please use your mouth on me,” you whimper, soft as a mouse. Your hand flexes onto the seat of the chair beneath your thighs, and Nanami smiles against your soaking cunt.

“Good girl,” he praises, like liquid honey – and when his tongue finally, finally makes contact with your sex, the other hand has no choice but to curl into his hair as you let out a needy mewl, all of the heat that’s been building up within you since the very first moment you laid eyes on Kento Nanami coming to a point in the crux of his lips and tongue lapping hungrily at your slick.

Your lashes flutter closed, your thighs trembling, as Nanami sates himself on the taste of you, making you relax helplessly into his talented mouth. He knows exactly what he’s doing; the flat, broad strokes against the folds of your cunt, the lower dip of his tongue as he flirts with stretching your hole open with it, the teasing flick of it as it dances, dallies with the idea of your swollen clit.

You can hear the wet sounds of him between your legs, suckling and kissing and licking and lapping – not all of it’s from your slickness, you know, but an embarrassing amount of it is. His tongue pushes into your hole, thrusting a few times, imitating the actions of fingers or cock – and your thighs flex, almost squeezing him between them, your fingers tugging on his hair with a soft squeal of surprise escaping you.

The noise just spurs him on. He fucks you on his tongue for a few more thrusts, before dragging the flat of the muscle through your folds, forcefully parting them (his mouth feels so hot, there), until he can reach the throb of your clit. He uses his tongue to roll the bud, swirling the tip of the muscle around it, drawing patterns over the place that all of your hot, desperate need is concentrated. Your other hand jerks into his hair too, your hips thrusting against his hungry mouth  as he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks. You almost white out for a minute over the sheer overwhelming sensation of Nanami’s lips sucking on you, the displacement of air – you’re panting out breathy, whimpering noises, Nanami groaning as he edges you further and further towards your peak.

Fingers on your inner thigh. Nanami’s index finger, liberally coating itself in your slick and Nanami’s spit, dragging down the length of you that isn’t currently being utterly ravaged by Nanami’s lips--

He pushes one lone finger into your entrance, and that pushes you over the edge.

Your walls flutter around him, sucking him deeper inside your plush walls. You bite so hard into your lower lip you think that you might bleed, but it only serves to quiet the moan that escapes you by a little. Nanami groans against you, pumping the finger, sucking on your clit, guiding you over the peaks and mounds of your orgasm as he continues to enjoy the taste of you gushing into his mouth, overwhelming with the syrupy sweet stickiness of just how good you taste.

He guides you, too – with careful, slowing licks, lazier pumps – through the weak aftershocks and trembles of your peak, as they come to a slowly twitching halt. Your eyes are glassy, lips swollen from bits, as he places another chaste kiss over your sensitive clit and pulls back. His finger pops out of you with a wet gush that makes you feel so embarrassed at your own neediness you can barely stand it, but between your thighs Nanami is straightening up, a smug glint to his tired eyes.

“There,” he murmurs, standing, drinking in your quivering body, the slick on your thighs, how dark and satisfied your eyes look as you gaze up at him, half-woozy from the pleasure. “Don’t you feel a little more relaxed, now?”

You’re afraid if you speak you will simply slur your words, your tongue feeling unfamiliar in your mouth. You try and focus on Nanami instead – unfairly tranquil, aside from the wet of his chin, the damp spot darkening his collar. He places the finger that was formerly buried inside you into his mouth, the glint of arousal on it consumed by him with a tilt of the head as if he’s savouring the taste.

You can’t help but notice that there’s an outline of something putting pressure on the fabric of his slacks, there, between his thighs – something that looks hard, and stiff, and uncomfortable. You blink at it through a hazy mind as Nanami goes leans over you, gently taking hold of your chin, checking that you’re alright.

“C-can I help with that?” You manage, only a little bit garbled. Nanami’s eyebrows raise in surprise, a light pink flush to his cheeks – what does he take you for? That you’d let him eat you out so well that your toes curl and then just let him leave without seeing to his own issues?

(It’s a confidence boost, honestly – knowing that he’s hard because of you. You know that this isn’t the kind of man who would fuck you on his tongue in his son’s classroom if he didn’t find you attractive, but still . . . Someone like Nanami, with those cheekbones and those lips and those shoulders, wanting somebody like you?)

“I-- ahh--” He seems nervous about it, a little flustered, clearly not expecting you to offer something like that – but then, you raise one hazy hand and gently pet his crotch through the fabric and he whistles through his teeth, the organ giving a welcoming throb beneath your hand. You swallow at how it responds, the size and heat of it.

“Please?” Plump lower lip caught between your teeth. “I’d like to repay the favour.”

He swallows, raising a hand to loosen his tie. You see the bob of his throat as he moves, pulling out the chair he was sat on before, parting his own knees.

“I’d like that,” he says, and that’s all of the encouragement you need to sink from the chair onto your shaking knees, half-crawl towards him until you’re situated between his thighs. Your hands reach up to his waist, undoing his belt buckle carefully. The heat of his cock radiates through the fabric, brushing against your arm as you undo the belt. As you undo the button. As you tug at the zipper, the noise of the teeth indecently loud. He sighs himself, a hand cupping your cheek. “You’re so pretty,” he says, repeating his earlier compliment. His eyes on your face make you feel hot and flushed, the way he watches you eagle-sharp as your smaller hands reach into his underwear to pull out his already hard cock.

He’s not as big as Toji was, but that doesn’t mean he’s not big. His cock is elegant, a light upward curve, the head ruddy pink and slick with precome – and as you lean forward and let your tongue trace the slit of it, as you taste that same precome in your mouth, he groans quietly. He brings the hand not on your cheek up to his mouth to muffle the noise, and you can’t help but pout.

“Please,” you say. “I want to hear you--”

A pause. He drops his hand, taking a chest-deep breath. His fingers slide across the apple of your cheeks – you know he must be able to sense how warm you are, how shameless and brazen you feel.

You give the head of his cock dainty kitten licks, getting used to feel of him – getting used to the soft breaths he keeps making, the way that the hand on your cheek moves to knit into your hair. You know you’re teasing him, but the way he looks down at you like you’re the one doing him a favour has you all giddy and light headed.

You envelope the head in your waiting mouth, tongue messily lapping at it. It’s been a long time since you’ve done something like this – judging from the sigh escaping Nanami’s lips, the light thrust of his hips, though, you’re not doing too bad of a job on it.

You take him a little further, willing your mouth to open wider. Your tongue is still moving against him sloppily – tracing the veins of his shaft, licking fat stripes where you can manage to get it around. You feel a trickle of drool escape your lips as you widen your mouth a bit more, so much you can feel a light ache in your jaw.

“Fuck,” Nanami breathes, deep and ragged. “Fuck, that’s a good girl.”

The praise just eggs you on further, makes you want to take him deeper – makes you want to win more noises said by that dark, low voice. You push too far and have to pull back a little, your makeup smearing (you’re glad you’d foregone a darker lipstick today), your eyes watering. But you’re determined, and after you’ve managed to draw a choked breath around the cock in your mouth, you’re back on it, kissing and sucking and licking as best you can. Every so often, Nanami will groan from above you, his hips jerking, the hand in your hair guiding you just a little to the left. The other hand comes to cradle your face, so tender and careful with you.

“You feel so good,” he says, soft, like he can barely believe where you are. “Your mouth is so good, sweetheart--”

The flat of your tongue is dragged over the slit, his taste flooding your senses. You squeeze your thighs together, the friction thrilling even considering how slick your cunt still is (you’re grateful that your skirt is dark, because you know you must have soaked through your underwear).

His hips are moving more regularly now, but you can tell that he’s still holding back – that he doesn’t want to roughly fuck your throat, though he easily could. You look up at him with your eyes dark and wide, your lashes trembling, trying to get across that it’s alright for him to do that without having to stop hungrily licking and sucking at his cock. He sees your gaze, your lips wrapped around him, your cheeks hollowed in your attempts to impress, and he breathes out a shaking exhale.

“Is it really okay?” He asks you. “I don’t want to hurt you--”

You hum your affirmative around his cock and his eyes roll back into his head for just a moment, groan escaping his parted lips again, as he begins to rock his hips into your mouth. You gag around it at first – so big, so thick, even though he’s not going that fast yet – but as he begins to pick up his pace, your mouth gets used to moving in tandem with his thrusts and the tugs on your hair.

The ache in your jaw begins to be pleasant; you begin to feel like you’re meant to have it open that wide, that the bump of his cockhead against the back of your throat is right and perfect. His face is flushing, his breath getting shaky – whistling in his chest.

His chest. You stare at the bare collar above the buttons of his shirt, the lean shadows of his collarbone – you think, judging by the broadness of his shoulders, he’s probably built beneath there. You’d love to find out. You’d love to be somewhere other than in the classroom with this man, somewhere where you could learn his body by heart, where the floor beneath your knees isn’t quite so hard--

“Fuck,” he hisses, fingers tightening so hard that you groan, your throat vibrating around his cock. “Sweetheart, my good girl, I’m gonna--”

You hear the warning in his voice and you suck harder, swirl your tongue faster, coaxing him forward – his abdomen flexes under the shirt, his cock juddering in your mouth, pulsing as your mouth suddenly fills with the hot, wet, salty and unmistakable taste of Nanami’s come--

You keep sucking. You keep licking, swallowing pump after pump, draining forth every single drop of his release that you can until he’s shuddering and his cock is softening, his head thrown over the back of the chair to reveal the tempting column of his throat.

He’s taking deep breaths, great heaving ones that his shoulders move in time with, as the last few thunderbolts of his release travel through his body and he groans in the pleasured way that someone who has orgasmed their worries away does.

Nanami’s hand in your hair eases, his breaths evening out from the shakes and groans. His fingers are quiet and affectionate, as you pull back, swallowing the final few drops of his release. He looks down at you with those intense eyes half-lidded, his face briefly free of lines and stress and worry. He sighs, hand diving into the jacket still hung on the chair behind him – when the hand emerges, he’s holding a handkerchief, that he brings up to your face like a lover.

Tenderly, he wipes a bead of his come from the corner of your mouth. The action is so warm, so fond, that you can barely breathe for looking up at him. You feel like you’re knelt at some kind of altar – that Nanami had prayed to you, and now you are responding with your own supplication.

“Are you alright?” He asks you. “Your knees? Your mouth?” He’s so gorgeous; unfairly picked out under the classroom lights, like he doesn’t belong here at all. In another world, he’s avenging like an angel with a weapon in his hand. Now, he’s softly rumpled with his shirt unbuttoned and one of his suspenders fallen down his shoulder, his knees spread wide.

“Yes,” you breathe. He smiles again – he does not grin. His mouth is just a light uptilt, as he leans forward and brushes his lips over your own.

“Good girl,” he murmurs again, the words sending another shiver down your spine. “Do you need some help getting dressed?”

You rise onto unsteady legs and Nanami is there, supporting you carefully, rising with you. He rescues your skirt, your bra – deft fingers re-doing buttons, catching eyes with hooks, zipping up until you look – if not immaculate – at least presentable. Someone who had seen you this morning would probably recognise that your skirt is creased and your blouse is crumpled, that your hair is falling around your face--

Nanami’s fingers capture those strands too, tucking them back behind your ear, smoothing them out. Every single sweep and caress of his fingers makes you feel like you’re about to break into pieces from how soft you feel, how cherished. It’s a stark difference to how you had felt after Toji had swung out of your classroom, leaving you prone and leaking his come.

He leaves you, after you’ve regained your balance, to get your bag and coat, to grab the book you had been reading before this meeting had commenced – and he sets himself to rights with a calm, assured aura. If someone looked closely at him, you think perhaps they’d notice the tie not quite as tight, the hair not quite as neatly swept from his brow – you yourself can barely take your eyes off him. Is there something in the water in this town?

He grasps his briefcase, clips his glasses into the top pocket of his suit jacket instead of placing them back on his nose. His entire being seems to have lost tension, his eyes not quite as tired, his shoulders not quite as strained. As he finished, he comes to stand beside you – an arm gallantly curving around your waist just loosely enough that the touch could be read as friendly and not romantic. As the two of you walk across the classroom, he says quietly;

“You really should relax, you know. You don’t have anything to worry about. Yuji adores you, and I’m sure the rest of the children do too.”

(Your cheeks heat, the compliment warm and convincing in the sonorous bass of Nanami’s voice).

“Even Gojo isn’t permanent,” he says. “Anybody would be lucky to end up with you.” A cough. “That’s . . . as a teacher and in other ways.”

He pauses at the door, unlocking it with a final click that feels like he is saying that this little adventure has truly come to its natural end. His eyes linger affectionately on your face, a brief touch of hesitation colouring his features – before, once more, he leans in and brushes his lips against yours with a feather-soft touch that has you gasping in surprise against his mouth. The hand not on the briefcase takes your own hand, fingers entangling, and if you had thought your face was warm before, you’re quickly taught that you didn’t know what heat was.

He draws back a little breathlessly.

“I hope you’ll continue working with Yuji,” he says, sincerely. “And perhaps, if it’s agreeable to you-- perhaps we could schedule a catch-up meeting in a few weeks? So I may see. . . how things are progressing?”

“Of course, Sir,” you say, words very breathy.

When you get home tonight, and probably for the next few weeks, you’ll take a really good look at the grading rubric. You know. For the kids. Not because of Nanami’s sharp cheekbones and wicked tongue and the glint that had been in his eye when he had pressed his mouth against your heated core – not because of how his cock had felt heavy and thick in your mouth, and how it would feel pressed inside of you--

Nope. Not at all.

Definitely for Nanami’s son.

[xmint-conditionx]

art on exhibit | myg + jhs feat. knj

pairing: sugardaddy!hoseok x fem!reader, ceo!yoongi x fem!reader, brat!reader, sub!reader, dom!hoseok, dom!yoongi w/c: 5k but i feel like it should be so much longer for some reason smh summary: you and your sugar daddy, hoseok, are big fans of exhibitionism, but this is the craziest you’ve ever taken it. most of his prestigious party guests are jumping to get to get their hands on you. will you be able to handle it? tags/cw: 18+ please, smut, exhibitionism, voyeurism, remote controlled vibrator, almost reaching limits, spanking, marking, biting, ball gag, degradation (slut), praise, punishment, crying, light oral (f recieving), public humiliation, rope play, shibari, suspension, almost like being pimped out but u like it?, open relationship, hoseok is sort of protective tho, overstimulation, subspace, the orgasm nearly kills you, this one is real nasty, namjoon is just a guest appearance tbh but maybe later he doesn't have to be???

a/n: this thing has given me so much trouble by not appearing in tags. it didn't the first time i posted it on the old blog, and it hasn't been showing up this time either, so please feel free to give this one some extra love. also, honestly, i was sitting on this idea for a long! time! before i actually wrote it out. if i was spaced out in my last class of the day, i was probably thinking about this. i am almost proud and almost ashamed to share this with you all, lmao cause it's honestly a huge fantasy of mine. i’ve been really wanting to do a sugardaddy!hoseok thing for a while, and if you guys like this, then i think i can add more to the story. alright, y’all stay nasty. enjoy!

The ropes dig into the skin of your thighs ever so gently, and you close your eyes to listen to the din of the party that surrounds you. Guests only arrived 30 minutes ago, and you’re already dripping wet. This isn’t the first time you and Hoseok have done exhibitionism, but this is the farthest it’s ever been taken. Men and women in their best black tie attire surround you, glasses of his most expensive champagne in their hands. Not all of them are looking at you; some are too bashful to acknowledge your existence. Some only sneak glances when they think nobody else is looking. Few have come up and examined your entire naked frame, suspended from Hoseok’s ceiling in the middle of his entertainment space.

They’re examining you as if you were a piece of fine art; just another pretty and peculiar object that Hoseok has collected. You’re placed among some of his other art pieces - some Pollocks, some Dalis, some Picassos, and one O’Keefe - and somehow, you feel like you fit. That’s what Hoseok had said anyway. That since you were one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen in his life, he wanted to feature you as the work of art you are. He chose to display you in his favorite way.

Red shibari rope surrounds each of your legs like a cage before confining your hands behind your back. The rope trails over your torso and is twisted and knotted around your exposed breasts, but not tightly. Just enough to accentuate your natural shape. Your legs are tied so that they remain apart, one held higher than the other to leave you fully exposed. Your stomach is facing the floor, but not entirely; Hoseok has tied you so that you’re almost lounging comfortably there, suspended in midair. The lines of rope flow with the form of your body, and even though all of your weight is pressed down onto them, the ropes are the soft and luxurious kind - no doubt expensive - that make you feel as though you could be floating instead.

Just then, your attention is jolted to your cunt, where his favorite black remote control vibrator has just been triggered. You clench around it, and your moan is muffled by the ball gag that is secured over your lips. When you open your eyes, he is standing solidly in front of you.

His black button up shirt and jacket combination is draped over his shoulders beautifully, and his shiny brown hair is parted in the middle. He looks incredible. Radiant. Sinful.

“You looked bored,” he says with a little smirk as he continues to let the vibrator run inside of you, “and we can’t have that… Perhaps I should turn it up.”

He twists a small knob on the remote and the vibrations steadily rise in frequency until they’re as high as they can go. A semblance of a scream escapes your lips behind the gag. You begin rocketing toward climax, but Hoseok knows you and your body too well. Just as you begin to feel the tingles spread over your body, he shuts it off, and your muscles immediately go lax from being tensed up and ready to come.

He laughs softly as you pant, and then takes a quick look around the room.

“You seem to have gathered some attention. That’s my good girl.”

Without another word, he pockets the remote, and you watch how his ringed fingers delicately pick up a flute of champagne from one of the server’s tray tables. Then he simply walks away. His immaculately shiny black shoes gently thud on the marble floor as he makes his way through the crowd, to presumably some other obscenely rich friend of his.

You feel a small amount of saliva about to peak over your bottom lip. You’ve been good about swallowing everything but it seems your denied orgasm has made you forgetful. Moments later, a small thread of your own spit runs out of your mouth and onto the floor. You know that you have been dripping from the other end too, and you wonder if any of the guests have just seen you drool on yourself.

As if to answer, Hoseok comes back from behind you and grabs you by the jaw. His face lights up when he confirms that you have made a mess of yourself. He turns to one of his guests and speaks.

“See, Namjoon?” he says, tilting your head up toward his guest so that he can see, “She’s incredible.”

You meet eyes with the guest, and put on your best innocent look. You love how a blush starts to creep up into his cheeks, and how his pillowy lips part slightly. Even though you’re bound from head to toe and easily the poorest person here, you feel like you’re the most powerful person in the room. The guest clears his throat and turns his attention back to Hoseok.

“How much was your price?” he asks.

Hoseok looks down at you, and a smirk begins to form on his plush lips.

“1,000 US Dollars. Per second,” he says, “Which charity will it be, then?”

You’d been the one to come up with the idea for the proceeds from the charity fundraiser to be benefitted by getting to control the vibrator. Hoseok loved it.

“Your education charity,” he says, “and I’ll take 30 seconds.”

Hoseok nods, “Do you want to go ahead and write the check now or do you want me to keep a tab running and let you know at the end of the evening?”

The tall man considers this, and looks back at you for a moment before answering, “keep it open, will you?”

“Alright, Mr. Kim. All yours,” Hoseok says as he fishes out the device from his suit pocket before turning to you, “Be good, you hear me? Don’t come until you have been given permission by either Mr. Kim or myself. Understood?”

You nod frantically as you watch the remote being transferred from Hoseok’s hands to Namjoon’s. The earlier flustered man turned more confident once he held the little black fob in his palm - quite a large palm now that you look at it closely. It would look so nice trailing up your thigh, you think. You look up at Namjoon and convey a pleading look, one that silently asks for mercy.

He does not give it.

With a small grin, he turns on the vibrator, and you scream (or try to) at the suddenness of the sensation. He spends his entire 30 seconds with the device in your pussy at full speed, and you can’t hold back your groaning. You clench around the bullet, and when his time is up, you feel beads of sweat starting to form on your brow from the exertion. You’re left a panting mess in front of him, Hoseok, and every other guest that has turned to watch you squirm.

Namjoon’s satisfied smile and nod encourages others in the room to have a turn. Before long, you see a few more guests make their way over to where you are hanging. This time it is a group of women.

“Hye-jin!” Namjoon exclaims, before he hugs the woman and offers a short to the three others that come over with her. She’s dressed in the most beautiful black form fitting dress you’ve ever seen. Her hourglass figure sways captivatingly in the gown, and you’re momentarily mesmerized by her figure. You look up at her and she’s smirking down at you; you were too distracted at the way the large jewels on her necklace fell over her collarbones to realize that they were already discussing you.

“I should have known it would be you to break the ice,” she says playfully to Namjoon, who just presses his lips together in resignation as he puts his hand to the back of his neck.

“How’s the comeback?” he asks casually, as if there isn’t a fully naked and exposed woman suspended in front of him. His ability to be so casual while you’re at the edge of your sanity shoots a ping of arousal through your body. You shiver slightly, and you catch Hoseok looking at you out of the corner of his eyes. He’d never admit it, but he cares about you a lot. You can tell he’s checking to make sure you aren’t getting ready to start snapping your fingers- the safe action you’d both agreed on to release you from the ropes and send you into his master suite. Even when he had walked over to find Namjoon, you know even then he wasn’t out of sight or earshot from you.

He had a clean and plush robe stowed away in the closet nearby, and was always ready to release you should you want to be. You’d worked together before the event to set up a space in his suite to go should you need to retire for the evening, and you caught him setting a hoodie of his on the side of the bed where you typically sleep. You’d always playfully taken them, either to flirt or to wear it (and only it) to encourage a round two. But he had never deliberately set one of them aside for your use. He knows you won’t be using it to flirt or to rouse him into more sex, so his little efforts to bring you as much comfort as possible had set alight something in your heart.

He really did take pride in taking good care of you. As a good sugar daddy should.

You’re yanked back to reality when the vibrator starts up again. You clench around it and feel a gush of wetness surge out at the sensation of it going at full blast. Just when you become used to the speed and lower your whining, you open your eyes to see the woman holding the remote this time, grinning down at you with full lips. She meets your gaze and turns it up all the way, which makes you tense up every last one of your muscles. The woman next to her with long, light hair and a wicked gaze, whispers something to her while eyeing you up and down. It then occurs to you that you weren’t paying attention and don’t know how much time she purchased.

As the seconds tick by, they feel like hours. With the device at full speed, you feel yourself closing in on a climax, and so you squeeze your eyes shut and brace yourself for the orgasm that is about to rip through your body…

She turns it down to the lowest setting and watches as you groan at the second denial crushes you. More saliva drips down your chin as she switches it off, leaving you with only the beads of sweat that cling to your skin.

“Thank you, Hoseok. Worth every penny,” Hye-jin says, handing the remote back to him.

Hoseok beams his thousand-watt smile at her, and congratulates her on both the success of Maria, her solo album, and then thanks her for her donation.

She thanks him in return, and both women walk back into the crowd. Namjoon has also gone, which just leaves you with Hoseok again. His eyes meet yours for a moment, and you see a fire in them that you’ve never seen before. You’re dangling about waist height, and you can’t help but to look down from his face to try to see if you can make out a bulge. You don’t get time to really look, because as soon as you break eye contact, he moves to your back and smacks your ass cheek hard. A loud thwack echoes throughout the large space, over the din of the partygoers. You inhale sharply at the sting, and let your breath back out in a long groan, drawing the attention of more guests. You knew that the champagne would loosen inhibitions eventually.

You hear the footsteps of a couple other guests walking toward you from behind where Hoseok stands. You crane your head to try to see over your shoulder, but they stand just out of your peripheral vision. They’re talking in low voices, and you can’t make out what they’re saying. You wish you could swing yourself around and look at them, but knowing that the only thing they can see of you is your dripping cunt, you’re not so mad.

You feel a hand on your thigh, a touch you’re familiar with. You know it’s Hoseok’s hand, as he gently trails up your inner thigh, purposefully teasing you. An involuntary shiver runs through your body and you can’t help but to whimper slightly. You hear a man’s chuckle, and then he’s speaking, again too low for you to hear.

Hoseok uses his grip on your inner thigh to spin you around so that you’re facing the group of men. Namjoon has come back, this time with what appears to be a friend in tow.

“Baby girl,” Hoseok’s voice says gently, and you look up to meet his gaze, “Yoongi here has just asked if he may touch you.” Your eyes widen at the thought, remembering how just Hoseok’s hand trailing up your thigh had your toes curling. You look up at the new guest, and see only a cold and stone-like expression. His eyes seem to bore right through you, and directly into your cunt. You’re momentarily mesmerized under his heavy stare, before you slowly nod your head.

“Yoongi here has just generously donated one million dollars to one of my charities, so do you know what that means?” he asks you, not expecting an answer, “How long is one thousand seconds?”

“Sixteen minutes and 40 seconds,” Yoongi says, not breaking eye contact from you, “If I’m correct.”

If your mouth could drop, it would. Namjoon, looking up from his phone, just nods nonchalantly.

Hoseok asks the man what he has asked everyone else: if they would like to keep a running tab or if they would like to write a check now. Yoongi reaches into his back pocket and pulls out what you assume to be his checkbook. With rings glittering in the lighting of the room, his hand swiftly fills it out. He rips it out and extends it to Hoseok.

“I won’t be needing more time.”

His cool confidence in saying this small phrase makes your stomach drop.

Hoseok grips your chin and tilts your head up. “Remember, baby girl, don’t come until you’re told to. You want to be on your best behavior for Mr. Min. Trust me.”

He speaks sternly and then releases your jaw, trailing his hand back to stroke your messy hair, before settling on your two hands secured behind your back and giving them a light squeeze. A silent reminder of your out, should you need it.

This Yoongi must be… a force to be reckoned with.

“Your time starts now,” Hoseok says, tapping his phone screen. You squeeze shut your eyes and brace yourself for the abrupt shock of the vibrations, but seconds pass, and they don’t come. You gingerly open your eyes and look up at the man standing above you, toying with the remote. He regards it with vague interest, and then he flicks up his eyes to look at you. Your heart stops for a moment, as he begins to rake his onyx eyes over your body. He purses his lips slightly and begins walking around you, all too slowly.

Even though he has disappeared from your view, you can feel his eyes on you. Your anxiousness grows as he remains out of your sight longer, and this is no doubt intentional. It seems as if he picked up your unease earlier when he first approached.

This guy is good.

You’re so on edge, that the light vibrations that begin in your cunt still surprise you. He turned the vibrator on to its lowest setting, but these low and slow vibrations still make you have a sharp intake of breath. He finally arrives back to your front and seems pleased at your reaction. He squats down so that his face is level with yours.

“What a good girl you are,” he muses, lips parted, tongue playing with the inside of his cheek, “I hope Hoseok here treats you well. You seem… pent up.”

At those last two words, he revs up the vibrations slightly, causing you to let out a small moan. He stands and puts the remote in his pocket. You watch as he gently rolls up his sleeves to the elbow, his forearm flexing as he fixes them. Your hungry stare betrays you.

“Is she always like this?” he asks Hoseok, almost laughing at you. “God, she’s desperate.” He looks at you. “Does Hobi not fuck you enough, little girl?”

Your eyes widen at the implications, and you furiously shake your head no, trying to convey as much as you can with your eyes alone. He just chuckles.

“Loyal,” he says, “I like that.” He looks back up at Hoseok. “Is your agreement exclusive, or is there room in her life for a second... benefactor?” You look up at your sugar daddy, eyes wide with what he might say. He’s just standing there, arms folded over his chest, as if he were discussing the weather or the stock market.

“I’m afraid she’s all booked up for the foreseeable future, unfortunately,” he says cooly but firmly, a little bit of edge to his voice.

“Pity,” Yoongi says, taking a step toward you, “I could think of a million good ways to take up her time.”

“You’ve got 14 minutes left,” is all Hoseok says in response, a definite sharpness to his tone. You’ve only heard this type of voice from him when you’re being particularly bratty. You rarely hear him this stern.

The vibrations quicken slightly, and you can tell from your frequent use that the device is at about its medium speed.

Yoongi takes his hand and reaches out to your back, and with a featherlight touch, begins to trace next to where the ropes lie. He keeps working down your back, and gently trails down your bare ass cheek and ghosts against your pussy. You can feel the heat from his hand, impossibly close to touching you. You hold your head back and try to look at him as you whine out a plea.

“Eyes straight ahead, little girl,” he says, and you comply reluctantly, flopping your head forward dramatically as you sigh. His hand grabs hold of your thigh, and squeezes it so hard you’re sure you’ll find a bruise there in the morning. “And lose the attitude.”

You whimper as he releases your thigh, and goes back to delicately running his fingertips up to your core. He stops just short of your cunt, and you desperately want him to just touch you. You flex your back and buck your hips in order to push yourself onto where you know his hand is. Your clit makes contact with his hand, and as soon as you feel it connect, you feel it missing. Not even a moment later, a sharp sting spreads across your ass, and you clench around the vibe.

“What a greedy little slut you are. Do you always misbehave this much?”

You turn your head back to look at him, and as you meet his eyes, you can see he begins to fume.

“Namjoon, keep her head straight. Someone's not listening.”

You turn your head back around and Namjoon is quickly grabbing your jaw firmly in his hand. Your eyes meet his, and his earlier show of no mercy seems to still be intact. You feel Yoongi’s hand soothe the soreness he just created, only to once again reel back and give the same spot another firm smack, just as hard as the first one.

You cry into the ball gag and the shockwave from his hit sends you slightly swinging forward into Namjoon’s belt. Even though the vibrator is only at medium speed, you feel yourself beginning to get close to a climax. Your moans get longer and higher, and your body tenses to prepare for it. You hear Yoongi behind you.

“Don’t.”

You know exactly what he means. You focus on your breathing and furrow your brow in an attempt to stave off your orgasm. It’s working, but barely. He turns up the vibrations and you cry out again, your head shaking as much as Namjoon’s firm grip will allow.

“Don’t.”

You distance yourself from the situation, distracting yourself with thinking about schoolwork. The essay you’re currently writing. How the rough draft needs to be done by tomorrow night. You need three more in-text citations to make --

His hand is against your clit, and he’s rubbing at an agonizingly slow pace, with just enough pressure for you to want more. You inhale sharply and work harder to distract yourself.

You have two of the quotes picked out, but you need to finalize the third one to really hammer in your point. Maybe you can spend tomorrow morning reading --

His lips graze over the ass cheek he tortured earlier, your smarting skin responding sharply to the gentle contact. He gives you a soft kiss, and then you feel a sharp pain as he sinks his teeth into your already ruined ass.

Your eyes fly open and you make desperate eye contact with Namjoon, trying to show him that you can’t last much longer. Thankfully, this Namjoon is a perceptive man, and he looks from you to Yoongi.

“She can’t take much more, Yoongi.”

“Good,” he says, breath grazing over where he just bit as he speaks. “Come, slut.”

For the first time tonight, your orgasm peaks and rips out of you. Your whole body trembles with the sensation, and you feel his pressure on your clit increase to see you through. The orgasm is hard, and long, and it leaves you with tears streaming down your cheeks, mascara running wildly. You’re coming down slowly, and you feel his hand pull away. Before you realize it, he is standing in front of you again. Namjoon releases you, and your head hangs lifelessly as you pant.

Yoongi stands directly in front of you again, and you find yourself staring at his expensive shoes. You’re completely spent. Post orgasm bliss spreads throughout your muscles, and then, a slight discomfort. You realize what it is: the vibrator is still going.

You squirm lazily and whine at the sensation, it being too much. Yoongi squats down and gently lifts up your head by the chin. Your exhausted eyes meet his, and he clicks his tongue.

“Aw, are you all sensitive now?” he asks gently, in an almost patronizing tone. You don’t care. You nod sleepily.

“Is the vibrator too much, little girl?” You nod once more, eyes fluttering shut.

“Then use your safeword gesture,” he says, almost as if it’s a dare. "Go on. Snap."

If he’s not done with you, then you’re not done. You open your eyes and look directly at him as if to say “challenged accepted.”

Without moving his eyes from yours, he cranks up the vibrations until you’re whimpering again.

“Six more minutes,” you hear Hoseok say from beside you.

“Plenty of time,” Yoongi replies without skipping a beat. “I think we can get three more in. One every two minutes? Surely a slut like you will have no problem with that, since you wanted to come so badly earlier.”

You groan at the ache in your cunt, and at the slight displeasure the vibrator is causing. Yoongi stands again and walks back behind you, and this time you know better than to move your head to look.

Soon the vibrations begin to feel pleasurable again, and you’re having a hard time keeping your moans quiet.

“Atta girl,” you hear Yoongi say from behind you, “Your next one’s already coming isn’t it? You greedy little thing. You’re going to ruin Hoseok’s nice floors with your slick. And in front of all these people?”

Just like that, you’re reminded that you have an audience. Quite a large one. You open your eyes to see just about every guest’s gaze glued to your straining form. The heat bubbles in your abdomen as your next climax rushes toward you.

“You may come again,” is all Yoongi says as you’re thrown off the edge again. As soon as you begin to recover from this one, he ups the vibrator to full speed. You scream into the ball gag at the overstimulation, and cry out as tears spill out of your eyes. It’s entirely too much, but you love it. Before you realize it, another orgasm rips through your body, almost as if it were a continuation of the last one.

He doesn’t miss this though, and spreads your ass cheeks apart so he can get a better view. At this point, you’re not sure if you can do another one. You feel as though you might pass out if you come again. But the overstimulation is so overwhelming that you can only think of reaching one more high. You tense your entire body and try to get another one, but your muscles are so spent that you can’t stay tense for long. After a few more tries, you just sigh and hang limply, your limbs heavy and tired. You hang on the edge of climax, being able to see the other side, but not being able to go there.

Mascara tears stain your cheeks from exertion, and you are well and truly spent. You give up.

But you don’t snap your fingers.

Yoongi fastens his lips over your aching clit, and sucks. Just like that, you feel your orgasm building again so you clench, desperately trying to claim it; this time, you reach it.

It tears through you like a slow strike of lightning. You feel yourself shaking as it takes its time fracturing within you. It grows white hot in your belly, and it’s as if every cell in your body has been burned alive. All of the energy you have left is spent thrashing in the ecstasy of your orgasm, and for a few seconds, you know nothing else but the pleasure.

You find yourself deep in subspace, practically dead to the world. You don’t even have the energy to open your eyes. You barely register Hoseok as he begins untying the ropes around your hands, getting assistance from both Namjoon and Yoongi. You feel his hands as he releases your ball gag and caresses your face as he asks if you’re okay. You give the tiniest nod, and he wraps your limp form tightly in his arms as the two men finish unwrapping your legs. He swoops down and sweeps your legs up to carry you bridal style away from the party.

The next thing you know is the soft and cool silk of his sheets enveloping you as he lays you down. You exist there for a time, every nerve ending in your body tingling as you drift off.

You wake some time later to hear quiet chatting. You inhale and breathe in the musky scent of Hoseok’s favorite cologne. You find yourself curled around the hoodie he left for you. As you slowly open your eyes, you can just make out the time on the nightstand clock. It’s almost 3 AM; the fundraiser had to have ended over four hours ago. You breathe slowly and close your eyes again so you can focus on the voices in the room.

You hear Hoseok straight away; his tone is forever instantly familiar to you. The way his normal speaking rhythm is a little sloppy with alcohol. In reply is a voice you more recently became acquainted with. The voice who you last heard giving you permission to come. It’s a little bit more rough now, a Daegu accent slipping out in his intoxication. The third one takes you by surprise. A low and calm voice. Lower than you’d ever suspected possible, from hearing him speak this evening. Even still, Namjoon’s even tone is a rumble you can make out.

You sit up slowly, not wanting the blood to rush to your head. You were sleeping hard. Your dry mouth guarantees that. At your movement, the three men stop their talking and look over at you. Hoseok is the first to set down his glass and walk over to you. His black tie is gone and so is his jacket. His collar is wide open, showing off his tanned chest behind the many unfastened buttons. He gets on his knees next to the bed and reaches for your hands. Once he finds them, his brow is creased with worry, as he brings your hands up to his lips.

“Are you alright, baby girl?” he asks into your hands. You still have the weight of sleep over you, so you don’t respond right away.

“She had her gesture, Hoseok. She could have used it,” you hear Yoongi say, and you look in his direction. He sits with his legs spread, glass of whiskey hanging off of his fingers. Your eyes meet, and even though he’s trying to seem impertinent and uncaring, there’s a tinge of worry and guilt in his eyes. You glance to Namjoon and see that his worry is more plainly stated.

Hoseok caresses your cheek and turns you back to facing him. His eyes plead for an answer. So you give it.

“Yes,” you say, voice raspy, “I’m alright. I feel great, actually.” Hoseok visibly relaxes and you hear Yoongi across the room mutter an “I told you so” to Namjoon.

“He didn’t push you too hard?” Hoseok asks.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” you reply smugly, meeting Yoongi’s eyes, “But he did well and truly wear me out... Clearly."

You chuckle as Hoseok covers your hands in a million tiny kisses.

“Perhaps I do need to step my game up,” he teases, “I’ve never seen you so fucked out.”

“Nothing a good nap can’t fix,” you tease back. He smiles up at you, and you once again get lost in his brightness and warmth. “Mind if I join you all for a drink?”

“Of course not, baby girl,” Hoseok says, “I’ll go get your robe--”

“Don’t bother,” you say, wiggling into his hoodie and pulling the hood up and over your hair, “but you can go get me a glass.”

[liannelara-dracula]

Some time ago I read on Wattpad an analysis about the similarities between Elena from Vampire Diaries and Yui. Among the "similarities" was that they are both useless, which always have to be saved or protected by others and that they are both quite selfish...

What do you think about this? I think Yui is the opposite of Elena.

Hi Love,

This is a good question, I honestly can't believe someone would try to compare the two. I mean Yui and Elena have very different upbringings which means they have very different personalities. I for one agree with you anon, Yui is the opposite of Elena.

Weak and Useless concept:

Although Yui's health makes her useless for most things it really isn't her fault that she is kidnapped by others or that she faints and what not. Because first of all, the Sakamaki's barely feed her mostly likely. So they give her enough to like survive but she is mostly definitely not in the greatest of health. This also because they drink her blood constantly and they abuse her mentally and physical. So, as I recall she also develops or already had anemia, which makes her very weak. And in any case, she is not like healthy little Elena who has absolutely no health problems---so Yui is not useless. Now, neither was Elena entirely at least not in the first two seasons of TVD. I feel like later on she lost her character and originality as a whole once she started to fool around with Damon. Like she was no longer faithful to Stefan and she'd try to act like he mattered to her but clearly she never loved Stefan as much as Damon. But anyways, later on she was useless because in the show things didn't revol around her anymore once the Klaus stuff was all over. Plus, technically speaking, TVD is Stefan's story and about how he did everything for the girl he loved. I mean ultimately he sacrificed himself for her, because he wanted her to be happy and he had a lot of guilt. And later in the seasons she was a useless character because no one even wanted much to do with a petrova doppelganger tbh.

Getting saved and being protected:

Now as TVD progressed Elena's character gradually got more and more useless cause she just got caught in the middle because she thought that she had to be involved with her ex, Stefan, and her friends's business and what not. So with doing that she would get hurt and because everyone, mostly the salvatore brothers adored her, they always put her first and protected her before anyone else. Like Damon says he'd put Elena before Bonnie many times. And even though Stefan was a little more respectfully, all he cared about was damn Elena. Like they all have fought for this girl and what has she done in return for them? In the end nothing, if you asked me she should have sacrificed herself for them or something. That would have redeemed her value as friend and character. When Yui is protected it is only for the boys's own benefit, I mean they've admitted it plenty of times. Plus their father said they weren't allowed to kill her so why would they not save their blood bag? I mean unless they want to be severely punished, and I can assure you, they don't. So Yui being protected is honestly not the same as Elena, plus Yui thanks them anyways.

Selfishness: I don't know what this person was thinking when they made this analysis cause they didn't do their homework. Yui is not selfish at all. She is always thinking of the S and M brothers when she shouldn't. They don't deserve her love and care at all. She never really gets mad or does anything to them. She doesn't ever do something for herself if you notice. Like she stays at the mansion to know the truth about her father and she continues to put pieces together so she can get a hold of her father. Like she cares for his well being. And like notice how she even smiles through all this stuff. Yui is not selfish, she is selfless. Notice how in season two she went to see Ruki after Azusa said he was hurt and like she was even worried for him since was attacked. She's always caring for others and people take advantage of her. Now, Elena is selfish because while she was getting with Damon she wanted Stefan to continue to be single and only care for her, she didn't want to accept the fact that he wanted to do other things. She even told Damon once that he can't keep being the bad guy in Mystic Falls. Like she literally once said, "You can't do this anymore Damon, not around me?" Like when was it ever about you Elena? If Damon wants to be the bad guy you can't stop him. And she was also thinking of herself because notice how when Bonnie went through things she hardly gave a damn like when her grandmother died, she was just with the Salvatores being little Elena. And I mean there are so many reasons why she's selfish.

Overall, both characters are very different, they both started off sweet but one just changed and became crap. Really glad you asked me this question love, please always ask me things. Its pretty fun. And I hope this helped.

-Jade

——————————

♤ ˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ♤

♤ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~present day ♤

[jiminrings]

hellooo can i request a drabble of uni!au art major tae and biochem major yn? also part one of the would you series is AMAZINGGG seriously i cant wait to read more!! <3

rich kid kim

pairing: taehyung x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

notes: thank you for the request babes!! writing this made my heart melt and aND!!! thank you omg i’m glad you like would you :((

if you squint or if you’ve read insufferable, this is most probably taehyung and his y/n!!!

taehyung is personally more than willing to pay himself out of this project

oKAY LISTEN

he’s not the proudest knowing that he comes from a rich family and he’s the only kid and he’s never really struggled for much

everything was just given to him without any hesitations whatsoever

and yeah he admits that he can nEVER admit that his pampered and luxurious lifestyle since birth has shaped him to be this way and it’s hard to unlearn these types of things

things were too easy for him and thAt’s what made it hard

tae is the farthest thing from an outcast..,.,.,.,

.,.,. but that’s him in his usual rich boi bubble of elites wherever he goes because he’s surrounded by people like him

hoseok and jimin have got to be his closest friends but of course they pursued business degrees and everyone must’ve probably saw that coming

nobody, however, expected the kim taehyung to pursue a degree based rootly on passion and even major in it

yeah that’s right what are yOU looking at???

he’s an art student and yeah he’s taking this seriously ://

do yOU have a problem with that?? do you?? no what did you say?? step the fuck up ky-

spoiler alert: people do have a problem with that

taehyung could tell that his parents did a complete 180 when they learned through jimin’s noisy-ass mouth (not even through their own son) that he’s gonna be getting an art degree

his dad’s the one who’s most especially disappointed at him because well he’s the only child and uhhhh.,.,.,, so who’s gonna inherit the company now.,.,,,

tae normally feels selfish and this time, he felt like he was being rational rather than being selfish!! this is what he passionately wants!! pls god can i be selfish oNE more time

eventually his parents had no choice because as their son explained,, having an art degree won’t keep him away from the family business at all and he could even expand it!! he doesn’t need a degree!!! 

lmao he’s been putting the money he gets on the stock market ever since he was ten years old

and they had to accept it eventually because this is what HE wants and if this is the only thing that he wants... then might as well help him through it, right??

now this is another dilemma

taehyung’s applied at a regular university in which everyone’s blended together and no one really cares about who’s who

it’s not exclusive to people like him.

he submitted his requirements and his portfolios by himself!!

and he got accepted!!

he’s nOT SURE if it’s purely because of his skills and himself and not his parents’ money nor influence

whatever it is, he doesn’t want to know because if it ends up being the answer he doesn’t want?? lol he’d crawl into a hole and mope for a week and would be doomed to wear three-piece suits for the rest of his life 

so anyways

yeah..,, this is one of the handful of times that taehyung is completely willing to pay himself out 

this project was supposed to be easy enough as what the professor said but uH he’d like to passive-aggressively decline pls and thank you

their final project was to make a portrait

right?? easy!!

a portrait of sOMEONE IN CAMPUS,,, regardless if you know them or not

(( well of course you’d get to know them by the end because yea they’re required to show proof that they indeed met and the model did agree to be painted ))

and by the end of the project, it’s either they keep it to themselves or give it to the model!!

that should be easy, right??

...

....

...... pls say right

oh my god tae should probably drop out now so he doesn’t get to do this

rich people don’t necessarily have to be educated, right???? maybe he’ll just settle into being a himbo 

he learned about the meaning of the word through urban dictionary that he tHEN only learned about like six months ago and now he gets so many things

taehyung’s not intimidated by the workload of it all -- in fact, he’s even excited about it because it helps him relax!!

what he’s intimidated about is the fact that he’s kim taehyung and there are only two possible options

either his model would be someone who knows him and would be taking every possible step to ensure that they climb the social ladder through him and they’re not even gonna be dISCREET about it

OR

his model wouldn’t completely care about who he is and in the process belittles him upfront and tbh his hart wouldn’t be able to take that and he’s probably wipe his tears away with dollar bills

there is almost no in-between, that one he’s sure of

so why are you like this?

why are you neither of the two and why are you sO kind and go against his expectations????

do you have an ulterior motive or something????

you who’s a biochem major and is actually another building away from his own

you who’s made the initiative that you become hIS model

you who actually oFFERED and almost begged to be a part of a project that would only be for tae’s benefit

... aha

that’s about -5 points from being a cool laid-back nonchalant gal

+10 for looking like someone who’s had a massively obsessive crush on him since day one and looking like you’d lay his life for him

no but lmao actually you just learned about taehyung in a magazine

you were bored at the dentist’s and scrolled through every possible outlet in your phone and it didn’t satiate you anymore!!! so how about reading a good ol’ magazine :D

then came taehyung

it was a whole issue dedicated to him and you were probably too dedicated into reading it that this time it was you telling the dentist to wait lol

that’s as far as you knew about him

and then you learned just some weeks ago that taehyung happens to study where you also study at and that was.,., inch resting

you never really saw him before around campus because it was too big and well maybe if you put in the effort, you’d actually find him

maybe you had a tiny lil admiration for kim taehyung just from one whole issue alone you read at the dentist’s or whatever

you’ve only known about this final project situation through changbin!!!

changbin, your neighbor at the apartment next to you, who’d crash over whenever his wifi feels the tiniest bit slow

yes you did spend a little more money to upgrade your internet situation (most times it’s the router who makes all the difference) because you were so tIRED of having things slow in the middle of researching for your projects in biochem)

no you will nOT have that <3

and of course changbin’s not having your that shitty wifi either so he pushed you to get that in the first place so he can use it too lmao

he’s told you just a couple of days ago about his final project and that maybe, just maybe, he’d make it into a move for this girl that he likes

nothing’s more romantic than pleading for someone to paint ur face right

and your grade and the decision to whether you’re gonna pass or flunk and graduate or retake are relying on you mostly

and in changbin’s case it’s also hIS heart on the line so yeah no pressure at all luv

“i kinda feel bad for rich kid kim, y’know?”

“what about taehyung???”

“eW do you have a crush on him??”

“addressing someone by their name equals to a crush??????”

your banters never stop because you’re as quick-witted as him and he both loves and hates it

he loves that omg someone can keep up with him and that way he gets challenged to always have the last say!!

he hates that oh god why is he friends with someone who reminds him of himself so much how is hE gonna deal with that??

sometimes he’ll purposely argue with you to fEEL something lmao

but there’s just something here that tells him you’re a little more interested now in this flow of conversation ever since rich kid kim was mentioned

“hm, nothing. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a model yet.”

he dodges you in the kitchen to look for peanut butter in your cupboard and oddly... you’re not berating him for decreasing your groceries....?

what does changbin mean by that? whAt model?? model as in taehyung doesn’t have the newest model of whatever car he wants? or maybe he has a model girlfriend and-

hold on wait wHAT

taehyung has a-

“m-model?”

he looks at you weirdly but you don’t even bat an eye when he gets ahold of your marshmallow spread so that he could make another one of his s’mores sandwiches

“uhhhh model as in he doesn’t have someone to paint for our project??”

is that what you wanted to hear or,.,

you and changbin share one (1) brain cell and it SHOWS

the two of you have to open your mouths, then close, then ponder, and then do that aGAIN until the both of you could finally grasp if you were in the same page

“oh cool!! i’ll be his model then!”

“yeah but did he ask”

“it’s gonna be easy!! i’ll just tag along with you to your building”

“yeah but did he aSK”

“we’re probably gonna hit it off instantly and then you’ll have to leech off from someone else for their wifi and food and every other necessity that you already have-”

“yeah but dID HE ASK????”

long-story short: no. taehyung most certainly did not ask you to be his model.

but here you are

saying that you came a long way is a bit of a stretch because taehyung mostly turns his head the other way around when you call out to him in public

progress is still progress :D

you’re eating lunch with him at the same table and this time you’re sat beside him!! when normally he’d just walk home to his apartment (lol that’s not allowed but you won’t be surprised to know that he has a free pass) and eat!!!

before that, taehyung would gLARE at you until you stop asking to sit with him in his table

yea he gets a bit lonely at time because jimin and hobi aren’t with him and hE’S the outcast but he won’t do anything about it,, just scroll through his phone while he eats and tune everyone out

you figured that maybe it’s changbin always linked with you in lunch because your schedules just matched up thAt perfectly like it does with tae’s

hee-hee so you might have elbowed him until he begrudgingly agreed to be tolerable, keep atleast four feet of distance from you, and not call tae rich kid kim

spoiler alert: taehyung doesn’t really care about whatever you do because doing those changes with changbin did nOT work at all

however

H O W E V E R

taehyung doesn’t know at all how you’ve wormed your way into his heart!!

what seem to be cold to you is his warmest he’s ever been in such a new environment and outside of his usual comfort bubbles!!!

it’s like you occasionally stealing the food from his plate when you have the same thing is the equivalent of h*lding h*nds with him

you putting your leg over his before he pushes it after five seconds mUST be the equivalent to marriage

wait he’s lying

taehyung does know how you’ve wormed your way to his heart

“hi! i’m y/n! :D”

ok u are a little bit sweaty and out of breath from doing all that fast-paced walking for the past ten minutes

your new shoes that you still need to break into further aren’t helping your situation in the slightest bit

honestly? this is all changbin’s fault <3

he unknowingly gave you the sign that you were looking for

if he says yeah five times with five minutes?? okay yeah you’re definitely looking for kim taehyung and offering yourself to become his model

you don’t wanna sound weird but you feel sorry for him and you wanna help him :((

he’s not helping you tho because he has long legs underneath those trousers and it looked like he wouldn’t budge at all not unless you jogged and stopped right in front of him

“hi! i’m y/n!! :D”

“...”

“.....”

tae’s a bit... perplexed

because who’s THIS entity and why are you standing in front of him

...

....

“bye y/n.”

:]

he wants to exit from this situation because oh my god??

why r u like this

he didn’t ASK for your name!!

and he doesn’t even know you and giving him your name honestly won’t do anything and he doesn’t get what’s your motive and-

“oh c’mon!! you didn’t even shake my hand :((”

he feels even more lost as he tries to wrap his head around that uh.....

you uh.... you wanted a handshake??

.....

tae doesn’t even hide his annoyance because it’s clear as day!!!

he’s blatantly tilting his head at you rudely with a blank stare omg take the hint pLEASE

realizing it now you mAY have came on too strong to taehyung that looks confused as ever

“hi, i’m y/n.”

changbin’s by one of the lockers taking pics of you beaming at taehyung and him scowling down to show you later how dumb you look and how you shouldn’t do this at all

okay LISTEN

his personality trait is to immediately assume the worst out of every scenario possible and that way when something slightly less worse happens? that’s a win babie ;D

he became ur friend in the first place because you heard him yelling since he’s at the door right next to yours and you could hEAR him throwing things around as he cusses his laptop

yeah he cusses his laptop what about it??

if you close your eyes hard enough, you could hear him throw his router against the wall (you later learned that he was so close to finishing his digitalization but then his laptop decided to die) before punching the air

(( the friendship started when you knocked vERY gently and offered him to borrow your laptop even if you aren’t done with all your homework ))

((( changbin thought at first that u were such an organized and too-friendly social butterfly who’s a kiss-ass to everyone but now he thinks ur the coolest person ever and he treasures you more than life itself )))

although, taehyung’s a lot more vicious and closed-off and critical than changbin

he narrows his gaze at you as you introduce yourself for the second time before merely clicking his tongue

“ok cool”

is that uhm

is that IT good sir

“you’re not,” you’re dancing around your words and being careful to not let a pout grace your lips at the sheer lack of enthusiasm, “gonna introduce yourself to me??”

you got a reaction alright

taehyung sCOFFS and that’s the loudest he’s ever been with you in the span of two minutes

“you followed me for ten minutes just to tell me your name. kinda seems like you already know mine if you do that, no?”

this is why you took up biochem instead of law

how do the lawyers not break down???

why does phoenix wright make it seem SO easy?? especially when he’s spoken to in a confrontal tone???

oh god taehyung broke you already

not to be rude but uh what do you wANT

can you get it over already??

“o-oh! uhm i was wondering if i could uHm,” you sound ridiculous now that you think about it and this is perhaps one of the only times you feel embarrassed, “volunteer to be your model for your project?”

hmm

was that a wrong answer,,,

sHOULD YOU HAVE SAID THAT??

“are you in my class?”

taehyung asks and he’s finally said a sentence to you!!! omg

you’re quite shocked so he had to click his tongue to get you to answer 

“no, actually!! i’m a biochem major and-...”

that’s all it takes before he hums and nods his head

and for some reason taehyung looks at you like you’re pREY

“are you a stalker?”

okay wait holy fuck wHAT

you know what

you took a sip from changbin’s coffee half an hour ago but why are you only choking on it nOW

you’re positively sputtering and now ur pressured bc tae thinks you’re a stalker!!! a damn stalker!!

“looked at you long enough. i don’t need a sketch artist and i could just-”

no no no pls no

this meeting is going downhill very quickly 

“oh my god taehyung i’m nOT a stalker okay!!!”

that shuts him up because your voice is so firm and okAY then how do u explain this stalker smh ://

throughout the whole time you’re talking about changbin being an art major and also your neighbor and everything in between, tae has such a neutral expression that you feel so intimidated

“-and that’s what!! i’m not taking advantage of you or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking i guess? i swear!!”

he listened and well if he’s being honest,,, okay yea you did make sense and he does know changbin

“okay then. i’ll think about it.”

“are you gonna give me your number???”

it’s either you’re so forward or he’s just not used to being caught off-guard

WHICH FUCKING ONE

“what for?”

it’s been so long ever since someone asked taehyung for his number

usually in galas and any other socialite gatherings you could think of, everyone’s number would just be in your phone automatically and you won’t even rEMEMBER how it got there in the first place

better yet, it’s been so long since he went back to his usual routine lifestyle of being himself 

his last gala was two weeks ago and tae had to keep looking at his phone to study pdfs and whatever clear pictures he can get of his reviewers back at home because he had a test tomorrow morning

“so you could text me where we’re gonna meet so you could paint me, silly!!”

:D

okay wOAH there

“i didn’t even say that you’d be my model????”

“lol but you were thinking it huh”

that’s it

taehyung has nO choice but to paint you if he wants to finish this project and graduate and have something of a thicker paper to flaunt

it came as a shock to him that hE took your offer and he could only imagine its effect on you

not to brag but tae didn’t even have to sweat for a little because it’s yOU who came to him with this offer!! not him!!

tae lives in the classiest apartment here in uni and everyone probably knows that

much to his insistence that he doesn’t want anyone from uni going outside his apartment, he had to take an L and invite you over

he wouldn’t risk doing his work in any place else because he doesn’t want anyone thinking and getting the wrong idea!!

speaking of, he’s regretting it now because you seem to be too happy being in his space

you’re pointing around and being awed at every possible thing!!! 

what??? is this ur first time seeing a rattan hanging chair :// or a massive couch?? or a canvas painting of something so beautiful?? all of that in what’s supposed to be a student’s one apartment??? christ y/n get yourself together

“so what do you want me to do?? where do i sit oR do i stand instead?? i’m gonna need you to know that-...”

“nothing.” taehyung deadpans before he gets his camera so he could get digital shots as well if ever he needs an extra touch when it comes to his final product

the gears in your head are going bRRR and you’re gonna have to ask him to elaborate but taehyung already sets the pace

“nothing. just be your rEALLY annoying self and pretend i’m not here.”

normally you don’t take his words to heart but this one just hits a little close to home bc it’s early in the morning and taehyung already finds you intolerable

“by pretend, do you mean-...”

“up to you. are you more annoying around me or no?”

how did he read your MIND

tae got the thoughts in your head word per word and you’re so amazed at that because fUcK you originally thought that he’s good at bluffing his way up

click!

it’s you smiling at him

no you’re beaming at him

and you’re in front of his morning-lit curtains and you’re against the light

the portrait itself is already visually appealing and satisfying and man the shadows!!! the value!!!! they’re so raw and dreamy and this is exactly his style!!!

it was just a one-take wonder as soon as he took a picture of you!!! and he may have you to hold that position if he needs the push!! he just needs to translate it to canvas with his own language and emotions and then he’s dONE!!

you’re a pain in the ass

you laugh and you move too much

taehyung had you to to revisit that pose and hold it and you wouldn’t stop giggling bc you were too proud that you did THAT!

you also ask too many things that even hE doesn’t have the answers to

how is he supposed to know if red string lovers exist when you went into a spiel just because you saw a red tube of paint???? and why is he saying his opinions on such trivial things when he has his final project to take care of???

and how is he supposed to know why YOU’RE here hanging out with him instead of finishing your own final project

jk maybe it’s the L word but you’re gonna subdue that as much as possible since taehyung looks like he’d leave you by yourself with any chance that he gets

and you even call him terms of endearment!!! nicknames!! pet names!! names that you’d call someone who’s familiar to you and you probably l*ve!!!

angel

that’s what you call him :))

“why do you call me that?”

“because you look like one”

“and how would yOU know what angels look like??”

“because if they were to exist then you’d probably look like one!!”

“but-”

“ok that’s one minute no more questions taehyung <3″

tae just provides you with all the conviction you need to take care of him without even knowing

not in a maternal type of instinct type of way, but rather in a sPECIAL someone type of way

you find yourself caring for him mOre than you ever could for any regular friend you have!!

you just throw a whole loaf of bread to changbin and call it a day

but for tae??? you go above and beyond!!

“did it ever hit you that rich kid kim never really introduced himself to you?”

oh right....

changbin points out one day and you could see where he was getting at

for some reason he always knew what was in your mind at any given time and sometimes it’s to your disadvantage

you seem to be growing on taehyung though!!

he tolerates you better now!!

sometimes he’ll find you loveable even

he likes having someone around and you’re the perfect contender

if he decides to not talk too much, then you fill up the white noise!!

if he wants you to shut up?? then yOU shut up but of course not without babbling for a little

he’s opened up but with some reservations

some reservations that you don’t mind but it’s normal that you feel sometimes left out, y’know??

because it’s been a good month since you and taehyung properly interacted but he still resents you as much if you think about it

“hey angel!!”

“what is it-...”

taehyung looks up from his meal that he’s been poking at his fork because this has to be the fourth time you call out to him

so he turns to look at you and-

oh

uhm

there seems to be a misunderstanding

you weren’t calling HIM

you were calling out to some other guy that iSN’T him

that’s seungmin!!! omg you haven’t seen him in so long and he just happened to pass by your lunch table!!!

apparently he has something to talk to you about which is why you’re standing up and leaving tae all alone on the table

seungmin’s smile is adorable as always and he gets you in a pretty good mood!!

oh god

dear gOD

what is taehyung feeling in his chEST???

tae’s grip on his fork is starting to get pRETTY tight

and if he’s aware enough, his right eye’s twitching and he’s practically scoffing under his breath

why tf would you call him that

WHO is angel and why is it nOT him anymore????

what he’s feeling is just unexplainable and it tastes something like betrayal

“who’s he?”

he quizzes you as soon as you get back to your table and you don’t waver one bit because you know he’s been asking questions recently

“oh that’s just seungmin!! we were childhood friends then he just transferred here awhile-...”

there’s a bitter taste on his tongue and it shows up in his face and you’re not even paying attention to him!!

“really? thought i was him for a second.”

ok now that got you to stop eating

????

why is he acting weird

taehyung looks even more irked because you look sO oblivious right now

“do you call everyone angel?”

o-oh where is this going

“uhm-”

you’re not even finished and to be honest you’re quite lost and taehyung sCOFFS you to the next century

“‘course you do.”

taehyung angrily finishes his meal and you leave it at that because ok maybe he had a bad day?? and he’s just taking it out on you??

and well tae DOESN’T want you to leave it at that

he wants you to ASK him why he’s mad!!! he’s passive-aggressive and it’s getting unhealthy but he’d rather choke than have him spill whatever he’s feeling

the next few days, taehyung avoids you like his LIFE depended on it

you’re not really bothered by it because he has his days, but this one’s just getting out of control

“are you giving me a time-out or something??”

lmao what did u do now

you nudge him when you see him by changbin’s apartment to borrow an easel even though he’s already got it by his apartment

yeah he’s mad at you and he’s petty but maybe he wants to see you again

tae’s giving you silent treatment and you don’t even question him for it

you don’t bother!!

you’re letting him do whatever he wants as always and he dOESN’T like it anymore!!!

he feels like he’s gonna combust at any given time and you don’t give a shit and he feels like yOU should give a shit because you always do!!

you always hover and worry around him but wHY does he feel like you’re not doing it anymore??

why does he yEARN FOR YOU???

it’s quite an an early night for you

you love biochem but sometimes it kicks your ass and it makes you retch at the mention of all-nighters nowadays!! bc they used to be fun but now doing them because you nEED to?? no thx

you’re already in your pajamas and you’re all washed up!! what could changbin need from you at 9 in the evening??

there’s an urgent knocking on your door and you resist the need to groan because you were about to really knock yourself out!! you need to get back all the rest you’ve wasted over your own final project

is that-

“taehyung?”

the man in question is in his huge yellow hoodie that swallows him up every time and he looks positively spent

his hair’s shaggy and his eyes are glazed and there’s a pink tint to his cheeks :((

he’s holding a baby hydroflask in his hands and you’re pretty sure that’s alcohol in there lol

“don’t call me taehyung!!”

he immediately snaps and you’re lost as aLWAYS

did he really just walk all the way to your complex to snAp at you??

“i’m not taehyung,” he frowns deeply and that’s when you’re a bit more mesmerized, “i’m angel.”

is this what you think it is??

your no.1 deflection move is to laugH and you’re doing that rn

something about this whole situation tickles you funny and you’re not sure what to feel about it

“i like your bottle!! i should get one for myself!!”

he could see right through you though

he ignores your stOOpid statements and goes to hold your hands :((

“no, no. i’m your angel. i-i’m your taehyung, right??”

listen

taehyung is the most confusing being you know and he’s so emotionally constipated that he outperforms changbin but this one,,,

this just feels so different

he’s hugging you

he’s embracing you

he’s burrowing his face to your neck and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t ever imagine what this would feel like :(((

he positively 100% might be in love with you

and you positively 100% might be in love with him too

he’s fishing for your hand by your side to put in between your bodies as he shakes it and that’s because he doesn’t wanna let go of the hug 

:((((

you’re melting and this what heaven must feel like :((((

“h-hi. name’s kim taehyung and i’m yours.”

[ukulelecal]

Bloom - Part One

The story of flowers.

Pairing: Poet!Luke Hemmings x Female!OC

Warnings: angst!!!! implied smut. perhaps a swear or two. mostly angst

Word count: 4.4k

A/N: can yall believe that this video sent me so feral that i wrote this whole lil mini series in like five days?? i'm not surprised tbh. ANYWAY omg i really am excited for y'all to read this!!! i hope you love it!!! i would love your feedback, and please please remember that reblogs mean the absolute world to creators!

series masterlist

masterlist // posted on ao3

Devon would never forget the first poem Luke wrote for her.

He was a blushing mess as he handed her the folded piece of paper, insisting she read it later because he didn’t want to see her reaction. He had a lip ring then, blond hair spiked up and a wardrobe full of band t-shirts and black skinny jeans. He certainly didn’t look like how anyone would imagine a poet, but one look at his work would tell anyone that he had the mind for the craft.

Luke’s way with words was unmatched. Devon always called it a superpower; the way he was able to capture readers with words strung together so beautifully and paint a picture in the brain. He made people feel something. He had a gift, no doubt.

All of his poems were breathtaking, and he wrote many for her. The first would always be her favorite.

It was called The Orchids. The poem compared a woman to a field of orchids, delicate and lush. It was simple but sweet. Devon vividly remembered the rush of giddiness she felt as she read it, knowing it was written just for her. She remembered calling Luke after reading it over and over again, gushing about how much she loved it. He explained to her later that he chose orchids because the color of the shirt she was wearing the day they met reminded him of them.

They were only freshmen in college then. First time away from home, getting their first taste of real independence. Of adulthood. They met in a seminar class that every first year student had to take. One that everyone else hated but Luke and Devon loved, just because they got to see each other. A couple of coffee dates lead to The Orchids, which lead to a loving relationship and many, many more poems.

College was just about to come to an end now. Graduation was coming up fast, and that brought the simultaneously exciting and dreadful question: what next?

The future was something that used to delight Luke and Devon. Countless nights, they talked about marriage, a house, a dog, children. Luke would be a renowned poet, Devon a respected social worker. They had it all planned out. Even if their white picket fence dreams fell through, they would be happy so long as they had each other.

With graduation creeping closer and closer, Devon wasn’t so sure about their plans.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want it anymore. She still loved Luke with all of her heart. She wanted everything they had talked about, a future with him. Some deeper thinking into her career led her heart elsewhere.

It came out at dinner one evening, sat at the table of Devon and Luke’s shared apartment that they had moved into junior year.

“I’ve been thinking about going to grad school,” she blurted out. She twisted her spaghetti on her fork to distract herself. His face lit up, but Devon didn’t quite share his excitement. She knew this was something she wanted, but she was about to make a huge sacrifice that she had been trying to convince herself that she was ready for.

“Yeah? That’s great, Dev!” Luke cheered. “Here?”

The proud smile on his face quickly dropped when he saw the look of dread on hers. Graduate school was certainly a good thing, but if she wasn’t thrilled, Luke knew there must be a catch.

“Not here?” Devon shook her head. “Then where?”

The name of the school that she mumbled under her breath made Luke’s heart sink. It was far away. Very far.

“Oh.”

Luke wanted to kick himself for being disappointed. It was selfish, so selfish. He should have been proud that Devon wanted to further her education, and he was. He couldn’t fathom trying to take that away from her, but the thought of his girl being so far away was gut wrenching.

He wiped the frown off his face as quickly as it came. He reminded himself that he needed to be supportive, even if it hurt.

“That’s awesome, baby. I’m really proud of you.”

Devon knew he wasn’t lying when he said he was proud of her, but she could tell he wasn’t as excited as he was trying to seem.

“You don’t have to act happy about this, Lu,” she murmured, still pushing her pasta around. “I know what you’re thinking.”

He sighed and dropped his fork on his plate. Of course she saw through him. She always did. After four years of being together, Devon knew Luke better than anyone.

“I really am proud of you for doing this, honey. Don’t think that I’m not. It’s just…” he trailed off, unable to think of a way to put what he wanted to say without sounding selfish. “It’s so far away.”

Devon swallowed the lump in her throat. She was headstrong, and she knew that she needed to put her career and her own desires first. That didn’t mean it hurt any less to move so far away from the love of her life.

“I know, bubs,” she whispered. “But this is something I really want for myself. For my future.”

“Oh, honey, I know,” Luke sighed, not wanting her to feel bad. “I want you to do this. But the distance...I know it’s selfish of me-”

“It’s not selfish, Luke,” she interrupted, shaking her head softly. “It’s not easy for me either. But this school has the best graduate program for social work. Besides, I haven’t finished my application yet and I’m applying to some other places too. I might not even get in.”

Perhaps the most selfish thing of all was that a tiny part of him hoped she wouldn’t get in. It would break her heart if she didn’t, but maybe she wouldn’t be so far. Luke hated himself for the thought even crossing his mind for a split second.

Devon could see how this was affecting him. She understood; she knew he was planning on proposing shortly after graduation, though they were in no hurry to actually get married until they both had secure jobs. Moving hundreds of miles away for two years undoubtedly threw a wrench in the plans.

She had gone back and forth for a while as she searched for grad schools. As much as she wanted to stay close, her future career was something that she valued greatly. Devon was a first generation college student, and she wanted nothing more than to make her family proud. However, Luke was important too. The distance wouldn’t be easy, but she tried to be optimistic. She could only hope that he would want to try too.

“Don’t think like that, Dev,” Luke mumbled. He let out a deep sigh, running a hand through his hair. His desire for Devon to succeed and his desire to keep her close were battling each other, and it only frustrated him.

He thought about his words for a few moments, but couldn’t find the right thing to say.

“We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

Devon gave a silent nod. She needed to let him feel this out, and honestly, she needed to do the same. Thinking about it was one thing, but actually telling Luke was another. She had been stressing over it for a while, and now that it was finally out, her and Luke had to actually deal with it together.

The couple finished their dinner in silence, the only sounds to be heard being the slight scraping of forks against plates and the occasional sighs.

Devon couldn’t help but feel guilty. Over the years, she had conditioned herself to put her own aspirations first. She had sacrificed a lot for others in her lifetime, but many people had made sacrifices for her as well. She felt she had found a balance between taking care of herself and taking care of the people around her. She knew that moving away for a while for her own benefit would have an effect on her relationship, but she didn’t feel as if she had to choose one or the other. If Luke was willing to try to make things work, then so was she.

Luke took his last bite of spaghetti and stood up from the table. He silently made his way to the sink to wash his plate before turning back to Devon.

“I’m going to write for a bit, okay?” He mumbled, slowly making his way towards the spare bedroom that doubled as his workspace. No doubt a poem was going to come out of everything he was feeling at the moment. Devon nodded and her brown eyes watched as Luke turned on his heel to walk away.

“Luke?” She called out before he got too far. He turned around with a hum of acknowledgement. “I love you.”

Despite the anxiety and dread he was feeling, he smiled.

He walked back over to where Devon still sat at the table. With her face cradled lovingly in his hands, he bent down to press a soft yet meaningful kiss to her lips. The kiss said that even if things were uncertain, this wasn’t over.

“I love you too.”

…

Devon’s breath caught in her throat when an email from her top choice grad school came through.

She had poured over her personal statement and fretted over her interview. No matter how much everyone assured her, she couldn’t help the anxiety that ate her away.

With a deep breath, she opened the email.

Accepted with a scholarship.

“Luke! Bubs, I got in! I got in!”

She ran into the spare bedroom where Luke was hunched over one of his many poetry notebooks. His head whipped up at his girlfriend’s yells, his brain taking a moment to process her words after being in the writing zone.

For a moment, neither of them were thinking about the distance. All that mattered was Devon’s amazing achievement.

Luke stood up to meet her. Devon practically tackled him in a hug and he easily held her close.

“Congratulations, honey,” he mumbled into her hair. “Fuck, I’m so proud of you.”

He held her for a few minutes, neither of them able to wipe the smiles off their faces. This meant a lot to Devon, and Luke knew it. He knew from the moment he met her that she was going to do great things in life. She was motivated, intelligent, passionate. Anyone could see it. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

Luke pulled away in favor of cupping her cheeks in his hands. Devon flushed under his adoring gaze, eyes falling downwards.

���You’re incredible, Devon Murphy.”

She kissed him as a form of thanks, melting into each other’s touch. Their eyes met when they pulled away, bright blue and warm brown. Devon wasn’t the wordsmith that Luke was, but she didn’t have to be. Her eyes and her actions told him and everyone else everything that they needed to know. Devon was in love with him, and Luke, her.

Even with Luke’s way with words, Devon could read his eyes too. They were just as expressive as his poetry. As they gazed at each other, she could see the flash of sorrow as his mind travelled elsewhere. She didn’t need to ask to know what he was thinking about.

“Luke…” she whispered with a softened gaze. The guilt was returning, although she knew she had nothing to feel guilty about. She had always struggled with her determination to put herself first. It wasn’t Luke’s fault either, however; his feelings about her leaving were completely valid.

“No. None of that right now,” he stated, shaking his head. “This is a huge accomplishment, Dev. We’re not going to be sad tonight.”

A grin tugged at the corner of Devon’s lips as Luke pulled away, grabbing his phone from the desk and sticking it in his pocket. He placed a hand on the small of her back and led her to the door of the bedroom.

“I think you deserve a celebratory dinner, honey, yeah?” He offered, handing trailing to the side to hold her waist. She chuckled and leaned into him.

“You could throw in a frozen pizza and I’d be happy, bubs.”

“Hell no,” he scoffed as if it was the most ridiculous suggestion in the world. “You just got into grad school! I’m taking you out for dinner. If you want pizza, we can get pizza, but not a frozen one.”

Devon couldn’t help but throw her arms around him again, burying her face into his chest. He tilted his head down to press a kiss to the top of her head. She knew this wasn’t easy, and she was beyond grateful that he was being supportive.

“Thank you, bubs. I love you.”

“I love you too, honey. So are we getting pizza, or do you want to go somewhere else? It’s up to you.”

“Pizza sounds good. Can we go to the place with the good garlic knots?”

Luke laughed as he slipped on his shoes.

“Of course we can.”

Devon slipped on her own shoes and grabbed her denim jacket from the hook by the door before the couple made their way downstairs. Luke’s beat up Prius came into view as they stepped into the parking lot. Devon had named the car Bertha; she was old and a little rusty, but she got the job done.

Luke drove to the small pizzeria not far from their apartment complex. Once inside, they were seated quickly and ordered garlic knots and a pizza to share.

“We haven’t talked much about your writing lately,” Devon said once the waitress walked away. “What have you been working on?”

Luke shrugged and sipped his water.

“Not much. I haven’t really gotten anything good out.”

Truthfully, he had written a lot of poems about Devon leaving. He wasn’t going to tell her that at their celebratory dinner, though.

“In a slump?” She queried sincerely.

“Yeah, a bit.”

“Maybe next weekend we can go out, go to the park. You always get inspired there.”

Luke grinned and reached across the table for her hand.

“I’d love that, Dev.”

The rest of dinner flew by, conversation getting lost in buttery garlic knots and savory pizza. Luke offered dessert, but Devon was too full to even think about it. A sly joke about having her for dessert at home had the giggling couple paying the check and driving home at record speed where Luke certainly made good on his promise.

Devon and Luke laid in bed that night where whispered I love you’s and gentle kisses put them to sleep. Not a negative thought in either of their minds. They were content, but the future still loomed menacingly ahead.

…

The apartment was once a place of solace. It was a place where Luke and Devon could get away from the stress of college life and simply be together. It was safe and comforting. A place they knew they were always welcome.

As time went on, the apartment slowly shifted from a place of joy to a place of dread.

Graduation day was coming up, and both Devon and Luke knew what that meant.

They busied themselves with assignments and exams, Devon simultaneously preparing herself for grad school. She didn’t say much about it to Luke; whenever it came up, the tension between them only got stronger. It led to them bickering about other things to avoid the conversation.

Before they knew it, graduation had come and passed. Devon and Luke officially had their bachelor’s degrees, Luke in creative writing and Devon in social work. The days leading up to it were a good distraction, celebrations with friends and family taking their minds off the move. But it was over. Devon needed to get to her new city soon to set up her new apartment and get her bearings before school started. It was time to face the music.

“Luke?” Devon mumbled as he came out of the spare bedroom. She had been waiting for him to finish so they could talk.

He sighed and sat down next to her on the couch, knowing exactly what this was about. They both had been dreading the conversation, but he knew just as well as her that they needed to discuss it before it was too late.

“Are you ready for this?” She whispered, glancing at him with sad eyes. He didn’t return her gaze.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to be away from you for this long, honey.”

Luke could feel his guard coming down. He wanted this for Devon, but he was struggling to keep his want for her to stay close suppressed.

“I don’t want you to think I’m not considering you in this,” she began, reaching for his hand in his lap. “Leaving won’t be easy for me either.”

“I know.”

He was too scared to say much else.

The couple was silent for a moment. They racked their brains for something to say that would make the situation easier on either of them.

“Maybe you could come with.”

Devon regretted it as soon as it came out of her mouth.

Luke huffed and sent her a look.

“You know I can’t do that.”

She did know. If he could do that, he would have jumped on the opportunity immediately. Luke couldn’t afford to move. He was working on fulfilling his lifelong dream of releasing a poetry book. He was getting so close. Publishers were starting to take interest in him, and he nearly had enough money saved to cover the costs. It was difficult to save money when his part time job at a local bookstore didn’t pay much in the first place and he still needed to pay for school as well as his share of the rent and groceries, among other necessary things. Devon was a little luckier. Neither of their families had much to contribute, and she needed to pay for the same things as him, but her part time job paid better than his and she had money saved from when she managed to land a paid internship first semester. It was covering the costs of her move and grad school.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

She watched him for another moment, trying to fight back the tears that were welling in her eyes.

“Please say something, Luke,” she whimpered. All she wanted was for him to affirm what she so desperately wanted; for them to be okay.

He finally looked at her, both sets of eyes red rimmed. Devon squeezed his hand.

“Do you really have to go, Dev?”

The break in his voice sent the first tear gliding down Devon’s cheek.

“You know how much this means to me, Lu. I really think we can make this work.”

“Can we? Can we really?” Luke’s tone turned frustrated. Devon’s mouth dropped open slightly. Did he not believe they could last?

“What are you saying?” She whispered, voice shaking.

He sighed and roughly stood up, dropping Devon’s hand in the process.

“We’ll never talk. We’ll both be so busy. You’ll have school, I’ll be working. And you know neither of us have the money to be visiting each other often. There will hardly be anything,” he rambled, pacing around the living room. Maybe his selfish side was coming out, but he felt he was just being realistic.

Luke always aimed for realism, particularly in his poetry. He wrote largely about real life experiences and channeled his emotions into beautiful, flowing rhymes. His best work came from personal connection.

Sometimes, he couldn’t help but write about what he wished he had.

His idealistic poems were never about Devon; his relationship with her was practically perfect. But this was something that no idealistic poem could fix. No words could change what was happening to them.

“I’ll make time for you, Luke. Won’t you do the same?” She questioned, growing frustrated as well. She had wanted him to share her optimism, but clearly he didn’t. A part of her knew he was right, but she wasn’t going to back down.

“Of course I’ll make time. But will it be enough? No matter how much we try, will it be enough to keep what we have going? Look at what it’s doing to us now! You haven’t even left yet and we can barely keep it together.”

“Do you really have that little faith in us, Luke?” Her voice was calm, despite how she felt on the inside. She narrowed her eyes at him. “No one said it would be easy. But we’ve been together for four years. I believe in us.”

Luke took another breath, trying his best to keep his emotions and tears at bay.

“I want to believe in us, Devon. I really do.” He turned to look at her. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and it only made his heart ache more. “I still want a future with you. I want the house and the dog and the kids we’ve always talked about. But I have a bad feeling. We’ve never been away from each other for more than a few weeks. I just...the distance is going to break us.”

Luke’s own words cut him like a knife. As much as he wanted to believe they could last, his own insecurities caused him doubt. He wasn’t sure if he truly believed that or if he just wanted to save himself the heartbreak of being away from Devon for so long.  

Devon let his words sink in. Even if it did break them before she finished her degree, she was willing to try until they couldn’t anymore. Maybe he was right. Maybe the distance would break them eventually. But it hurt her that he didn’t have any faith at all. Still, she understood where he was coming from.

There was no winner in this situation.

She thought for a moment, and finally came to the conclusion that they were both thinking about.

“Fine.” She slowly stood up from the couch and looked him in the eye. They were both shattered. Hearts were breaking into a million pieces simultaneously. Devon put on the most stoic face she could muster with tears still leaking from her eyes. “We obviously want different things right now. I have school, you have your book, and clearly we can’t handle both at the same time. Maybe there shouldn’t be an us.”

Although he had essentially been the one to suggest it, her words felt like a punch in the gut.

This wasn’t what either of them wanted. This wasn’t supposed to happen. But the truth was becoming more and more apparent. They couldn’t do this. Not now.

However, Luke mimicked Devon’s actions and put on a blank face.

“Maybe there shouldn’t.”

They stared at each other for another few moments. Reality was setting in. This was the end of Luke and Devon. All of the coffee dates, the love poems, living off Ramen and questionable dining hall food together, walks in the park, kisses, I love you’s, the late night talks of the future, everything gone down the drain.

Devon shut herself in the bedroom before Luke could see her break.

…

The next month before Devon moved was painful. Her and Luke hardly said a word to each other. They ate their meals separately, not bothering to cook together like they used to or order food to share. They both spent time with friends before everyone went off to their new adult lives. When they weren’t out, Devon locked herself in the bedroom while Luke did the same in the spare. They hadn’t slept in the same bed since before their fight.

Devon spent a lot of free time packing. She went through all of her belongings, creating piles of things to keep, things to donate, and things to throw away.

She soon came across something that made all of her emotions about the breakup resurface.

It was the shoebox that she kept all of the poems Luke had written for her in. She kept every single one.

With a quivering lip, she opened the box and gazed at its contents. Piles of folded papers were neatly tucked inside, his declarations of love all written out in one place. They were her most prized possessions. She went back and reread them often, and the feeling of having someone love her like Luke did was the best feeling in the world.

Devon choked out a sob, burying her face into her hands in hopes that he wouldn’t hear her through the thin walls. The fact that he was right next door hurt her even more. The caring, gentle boy that made her swoon with his charming smile and romantic poetry. He made her fall in love with him all over again every day. He was everything, and she lost him.

She slowly read through each poem. Instead of joy and adoration, all she felt was anguish and heartache. She never thought she would feel this way about Luke.

When she got to the bottom, she pulled out the last poem, and her heart completely broke in her chest.

The Orchids.

Devon couldn’t keep her sobs at bay. She clutched the paper to her chest, every bit of pain coming out in tears.  

Luke could hear her through the wall.

His heart told him to run in and comfort her. His brain told him it would only make things worse for both of them.

He plugged his ears, trying to block out the dreadful sound. He was in just as much pain as her, but the sound of the love of his life’s sorrow only made his own worse.

Glancing down at the open notebook in front of him, he reread the poem he was writing, and soon he found himself joining Devon in tears.

It was called Wilted. Their relationship that had once been a beautiful flower, an orchid, lost its sunlight and its water, and now it had wilted. Dead, grey, dried up.

Luke dropped his pen and folded his arms on the desk, burying his head into them. He cried.

The broken couple, only separated by a thin wall, might as well have already been miles apart. They cried together, but there was no sense of unity between them. Their pain was past what any poem could portray.

[smallblueandloud]

some leverage: redemption reactions

i finished leverage redemption today! and i don't have anyone to talk to about it so, here we have my reactions for all eight episodes, both positive and negative. please feel free to reblog/comment -- discussions are what i'm here for! (under a cut because spoilers and also this ended up being 2k. whoops!)

EPISODE 1: the too many rembrandts job

the "aww, this guy is trying to pull his first heist! how cute" job

what they chose to do with nate was... interesting. it might just be that i read too many of those cracky "here's how they should explain nate's absence" posts, but i was expecting something funny. the grief permeating this episode -- it makes SENSE, but it was still weird. leverage doesn't usually have sadness like this. pain, yes, rage, certainly, but sadness? not usually

the way sophie immediately spots the signs of a con and slips into a character? phenomenal. i'm here for EXPERTS BEING EXPERTS and this show does NOT disappoint

harry wilson is a really solid character! most impressively, he's not flynn, which is impressive enough that i'm making a whole bullet point about it. i was worried that noah wyle was kinda a one-trick pony, but it appears not! good for him tbh

i'm LIVING for the ot3 moments in this episode. "what happened?" "we happened" YESSSSS!!! i wish we'd had more domesticity, but i know they did what they could

"he gets it from his father" FUCK!!!!!

the discussion about redemption in this episode is FANTASTIC but personally i am still delirious with excitement about "my nana leads a multi-denominational household" so expect those thoughts in 3-5 business days

EPISODE 2: the panamanian monkey job

the "flash electropop concert" job

BREANNA INTRODUCTION! i love her so MUCH, y'all. we only got to see her dynamic with hardison in this one episode, but man, it manages to be one of her best dynamics anyway. i just! i love her! i love the way the team works with her!

"in our field, you're one of the best. but there, you're the only one." god we have ELIOT/HARDISON rights and i am NOT OKAY. just!! them!!!!!! being supportive!!!!!! they have learned how to be sweet with each other! they work together so much better (in part because we're seeing them from harry's outsider pov instead of nate's insider pov, but STILL)

midway through this episode, i thought "huh, leverage always focuses on specific people, when really the problem is systematic, and pretending it's anything different is just an excuse to not fight for change". and then at the end harry talks about how the system itself is broken! i love knowing that john rogers and i were reading the same tweets last summer. it's a good feeling to trust the people making a piece of media

who let noah wyle speak spanish. whoever it was, they need to rescind their permission

god, the parker/hardison in this episode. THE PARKER/HARDISON IN THIS EPISODE! they KILL me friends they KILL ME!

also just like, hardison in this episode in general. he made a star trek reference! he made a doctor who reference! he decides there are other people who need him more! the way they wrote around gina bellman's maternity leave in s2 was good but this was phenomenal.

also i'm here for ot3 crumbs so "is this like the time when eliot wanted us to say no" is going on my ot3-is-canon conspiracy board

this is a tiny detail but eliot taking out the drone with a goddamn ORANGE was so good. he's so good at his job!! they're all so good at their jobs!! i know i literally just talked about this but AAA

EPISODE 3: the rollin' on the river job

the "sometimes you just want to rob a vault wearing a floofy dress, and that's valid" job

i did... not. like. how the villain in this one was an immigrant whose exploitable weakness was a "desperation" to be included in the upper crust. and the fact that they beat him with a literal southern belle who explicitly beats him BECAUSE her family has been in the area for "hundreds of years"? it just feels Iffy.

also iffy about this episode was breanna's characterization. it felt inconsistent. she feels inconsistent across the whole season, but this episode in particular... she tells harry she's only with the team because she's desperate, that she doesn't believe in hope, and then at the end of the episode she tells parker she wants to be there to change the world. and like, even in the first place, she's not here out of desperation! SHE asked to join the team! like, i can see how it all kinda fits together, but it just feels... inconsistent. idk. i think these scripts all could've benefited from an extra round or two of editing.

anyway! i loved the way they tied hardison into these episodes, even though aldis hodge couldn't be there. he has binders! breanna doesn't want to read them! parker did! he put in big letters, "when in doubt, trust the person in the van". i'm just so !!! about how much i love him and how much he loves his team and how much his team loves him. FOUND FAMILY, BABY!

all inconsistencies in breanna's characterization aside, i really liked her speech at the end. i know how she feels! it's really nice to have someone on the team who's from -- not my world, really, but a lot closer than any of the others. it's a nice feeling! i love her a lot. i hope her writing gets more consistent

lol, parker ate eliot's carrot cake. i love the parker/eliot rights we get in this show, they're so domestic and it's wonderful.

EPISODE 4: the tower job

the "hardison made his partners learn klingon" job

watching this episode was what made me go "they're not going to make us sit through a harry/sophie romance... right? right?"

i'm still not sure they're gonna let us avoid it but it COULD work so... i've decided to just not worry about it for now

i liked the number of ways the con goes wrong! it was fun to watch them work on the fly like that. i think them not having a dedicated Mastermind(tm) is a good watsonian explanation for their plans being pretty haphazard in general, but it's good, they think well on their feet

nate was a chessmaster. he had the whole situation in his mind from the beginning, accounting for every possible outcome. parker and sophie are much more adaptive, and it's cool to see. they can rely on their respective skillsets a lot more than nate could

a really solid episode! probably one of the strongest ones in the season. i liked it a lot.

(ALSO as mentioned above the klingon lines were fantastic and not just because they were a star trek reference -- every time eliot and parker both mentioned hardison, together, it added a year to my lifespan)

EPISODE 5: the paranormal hacktivity job

the "sophie was worryingly prepared to fake her death" job

i know why they characterized the client as a skeptic, i really do, and i loved the format of this episode, but also. But Also. she should've been a love interest for breanna and I'm Right.

having a girl's episode was the CORRECT choice. they do crimes in their free time! they fleece newbie, cruel criminals! it's so good!

it would've been cool to have eliot around for the assassin guy, but it was also cool to see the others take him out without having eliot to rely on. it's like getting to see how they'd take out eliot, if they were ever on opposing sides.

PARKER CANONICALLY USES SCRIPTS IT'S THE BEST THING EVER

breanna bristling about letting the criminal into the theater's electric system was so good god i love her so much. she knows hardware! i bet she likes to work with her hands. i bet she stims. i bet she has adhd

actually, sidenote, but i LOVE these headquarters. they look so nice! the stage is so nice! i loved having an episode set in and around it, it was such a good choice.

EPISODE 6: the card game job

the "FINALLY AN EXPLICITLY QUEER LEVERAGE CHARACTER" job

QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BR

UNFOLLOW ME NOW THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONLY THING I POST ABOUT FOR THE REST OF TIME

GOD, what a good way to reveal it. it's fully about her! i love queer romances, of course i do, but i don't think i've ever seen a character come out without a romance being their reason for doing so (however indirectly). i still think she should've gotten a date with the client from 1x05, but i really liked this too.

this episode just felt like a love letter to fandom, and i love that. i love how much it shone through. i'm used to writers specifically going out of their way to make fun of fans and laugh at them, so it was just. really nice to have someone stand up and go, no, this is important for a reason! people love this for a reason! it MEANS something!

very fun to watch eliot swordfight. very fun to watch sophie recite a sonnet in her classic fashion. very fun to watch parker work at being a good mentor. breanna was so excited about the card game! they're all so good!

oh, and i guess harry's here too.

EPISODE 7: the double-edged sword job

the "harry is addicted to mobile games, which is a mood" job

hot take alert! i think this is the weakest episode of the season by a LOT. it needed so much more editing. it felt so disjointed, so all over the place. the plot was haphazard but in a muffled way, where you had no idea why they were doing what they were doing. the climax was sudden and didn't make any sense. it was just weird.

i'm not the person to comment on this but it feels kind of lazy to cast an east asian guy to play a socially-awkward tech genius. just a thought.

oh, of course jonathan frakes directed this episode. sometimes his stuff is really good but other times (ahem, ds9 3x02) it's disjointed and all over the place. i'm not even surprised it was him.

idk if i have anything else to say about this. oh! some of the team moments were great -- mostly involving eliot. i loved the moment of him recognizing the headshot, i LOVED the ten seconds of everyone teasing him. he and parker talked about the wellbeing of their friend, the woman whose ex tracked her down!

separate bulletpoint to say how much i LOVED his conversation with breanna outside the house. he's so good at reassuring! he could go deeper there, talking about being better than your worst day, but he knew when not to push! it was so good.

"first off, this guy can't TOUCH hardison" deserves its own bulletpoint because like. y'all. Y'ALL.

EPISODE 8: the mastermind job

the "eliot is more than just a pretty face" job

oh man this post is so much longer than i thought it would be. okay just one more episode and then i'm done.

the callbacks to original leverage were SO well done and made me feel emotions without feeling overbearing.

i didn't like the central premise -- that nate would share so many details with a random insurance agent -- in the first place, but i did like how it allowed them to bring back nate without actually hiring timerty mcasshole.

i liked eliot's insistence that he's more than just the muscle! he is, and it's really good to know, textually, that the writers do too!

me, watching the resolution of the episode: ah, yeah, insurance fraud. a classic!

harry bonding with his guard had "they don't even have dental!" energy and i am SUCH a fan. i know it was all for the con but also give me harry, unable to stop advising people, even when they're actively holding him hostage

parker! on the phone with hardison!!!! ADORABLE

is it just me or was someone else expecting the accountant's name to be something significant? with the way they led up to it, i was waiting for a "sterling" or something else. my sensors were pinging for another tara reveal. i'm still convinced we're gonna get this guy dramatically revealed in the season finale.

a really nice episode! i had a lot of fun with it. and now i want to rewatch the rashamon job, but tbh i ALWAYS want to rewatch the rashamon job.

and that's a wrap! overall, a fun season, i enjoyed it a lot. not as solid as original leverage, but it's the very beginning, and it was put together during a global pandemic, so i'm cutting them some slack. also levar burton is gonna show up at some point. that's a big reason of why i'm cutting them so much slack.

my personal ranking of the episodes is 1x04, 1x06, 1x08, 1x01, 1x02, 1x03, and finally last (and least), 1x07.

what did you guys think of the new season? what was your favorite episode? do you agree with any of my opinions? disagree with any? let me know, please, i'd love to discuss!

[darkpoisonouslove]

Scooby-Doo & Zombie Island Review

This refers to both movies dealing with the zombie island. Lemme recap my experience with the first one because I don’t really have all that much to say about it and then we can move on to the MVP. Some mild and not so mild spoilers ahead so be warned. Also, as you’ll be able to tell from the review, I was still watching when I started writing it and my opinions at the beginning and at the end of it are differing.

I watched Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island when I was little and it scared the living hell out of me. Not because of the zombies. Who even cares about zombies anymore? But those cat creatures? Damn, that was the actual worst. And that assessment... still holds up... to an extent. The werecats are still terrifying, still the scariest part of the movie but was I as freaked out as the first time? Definitely not. Tbh there were pretty cool visuals but other than that the movie felt like it dragged a lot. There wasn’t that much of a mystery built through so many clues. It felt like they were just throwing in bits of info to piece together later so that they can tell their story but the actual case that they were supposed to solve? Felt pretty weak. And I have to say that that seems understandable. It is the first Scooby-Doo movie which means the first time they had to build a longer mystery and the first time we had real villains. It’s only natural that there will be a process of trial and error. Overall, it doesn’t really feel like mystery solving is really the focus of the movie. It feels a little scattered and like it doesn’t know exactly how to fill their runtime.

Now to move on to Scooby-Doo! Return to Zombie Island. The beginning is a little weird and what is up with Fred selling the Mystery Machine (at least we get an emotional arc from Fred about it)? Not to mention that the dialogue is a little stilted at some points and there are some delivery and script choices that don’t land well but there is a lot of brilliant in it! I love the iterations of the characters here! The mystery is built so well through the little clues (just as it should be). And the comedy is really good. I laughed out loud so many times!

Shaggy and Scooby are what they always are but with an added twist I will talk about a little later on because we need the set-up first. I know that Fred, Daphne and Velma have promised a break from mysteries before but this is the one time that they are really sticking to that promise. They are going to great lengths to keep their promise to their friends and I love the dedication. They are ignoring their own instincts and urges to solve mysteries and even deliberately explaining the obviously clue-shaped stuff away in order to be good friends and it is heartwarming! I am so sold on this friendship, I can’t even tell you. Not to mention that there is the added bonus of them being left with empty lives when you take away the mysteries and being unable to small talk to each other but they still know each other pretty well. Velma understanding Scooby and Shaggy’s panicked babbling and that group hug when Scoob and Shag finally lifted the no mysteries clause were absolutely adorable moments of genuine friendship!

And that brings me back to Shaggy and Scooby who are here put in the place of the ones having to incite the mystery solving process while the others are explaining away the obviously suspicious activity around them. That was an interesting take on the characters that I don’t think I’ve seen in other Scooby-Doo pieces and was handled really well in a way that makes sense.

The other great thing about this movie is the detail work. The mystery is clearly set up with a bonus thrown in the way. You get a smaller fake mystery in the way that is pretty obvious but also hiding the grand picture. There are several clues left unexplained after the fake mystery is moved out of the way and those are the scariest ones such as the creature Scooby saw and the tires being slashed. Also, the fact that the people with familiar sounding names turned out to be actors is now lulling them in a false sense of security that contrasts with the real danger still lurking to bring out the horror that awaits them. And of course, there is the cat alter that clearly wasn’t part of the movie settings, the cold and therefore dead and real zombies Shaggy and Scooby saw (further thrown off by the fact that there were supposed to be fake zombies there but they ended up being real) and the cat pendant that the movie director is wearing which is straight out of the first movie. An intriguing way to set up a sequel. So they should have saved the personnel quitting for when the werecats showed up as opposed to the actual cats, plus, the whole deal with abandoning the mystery is messing with the tension but... why did they have to get cartoony all of a sudden? I know it’s Scooby Doo but they were handling everything seriously and successfully so far. It was a little bit of a letdown.

There are issues with the pacing throughout the climax of the story which is about the last place you want to have issues with your pacing and I feel like cutting the chase sequence would have served the movie so much better. I know it is a Scooby Doo staple but it is causing some of those issues I mentioned and they would have benefited from placing it before that while they were being chased by the actors so that they could maintain the sense of tension and danger during the parts with actual monsters. The resolution was lackluster at best, confusing at worst. They mention a forth cat and then there isn’t one. The big mystery isn’t connected to the fake mystery and is barely connected to the original mystery either (the pendant was just a coincidence which was about the most frustrating thing of all). And the emotional storyline fell through the cracks as well. It was clear that they were going to come back to solving mysteries but the movie set up a message about them learning who they are outside of that as well and then it went nowhere. They could have tried getting to learn more about themselves and each other while still keeping up with the mysteries and maybe even figuring out that they have a path in acting which could segue into the sheriff offering them to sign up and complete a training program for becoming undercover detectives and work officially for the police after they graduate from that. It would have tied all of the movie segments together much better.

I was so hyped at the beginning of this movie because it was going so well. It had the heart and the brains and then the third act took all of that and launched it into the sun. This is how the potential for a spectacular movie dies and leaves you with a hot mess on your hands instead. I really wanted to talk about this movie because I though that it would be really good and I was super excited about what it was accomplishing in the first part but they couldn’t find it in themselves to carry that momentum all the way to the finish line which is disappointing and sad. I really wish I could have been more positive about this because I really wanted to and I was hoping it would get where it was going but alas... Not the best Scooby Doo movie even though it had headed there at the speed of light at first.

[teamsarawatshusband]

Word Of Honor - 1st watch insta thoughts - Episode 8

Here's my name overview, in case you're new to this:

Zhou Zi Shu = Baby Sushi, Baby Zi Shu/ Zhou Xu lord guy/alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy; Wen Ke Xing = Smirky Xing/Smirky fan guy/Kissy Xing Gu Xiang = Purple Girl/my Purple Love/my Purple Queen Chen Ling = the Kid Smirklord is my personal ship name for Zhou Zi Shu and Wen Ke Xing.

Also, here are the previous episodes.

And now on to episode 8:

Wow, the kid is introduced to 5 lakes final boss guy who instantly cops a feel. Then tells him that he's not good enough to carry on the family heritage, and then demands the glazed armor. Wow. That is so wrong on so many levels.

Honestly that guy is as much of an ass as a-hole-uncle Shen.

Uncle Zhao is the only nice guy left in the kid's family.

Yay, back to smirklord.

Baby Sushi is being nice to my Queen's fanboy. And Kissy Xing is watching like a hawk, lol.

LOL, fanboy keeps putting his foot in it. My Queen does NOT tolerate misogynism.

Heh, Kissy Xing and my Queen sticking their tongues out at each other like siblings. Why is Baby Sushi reacting like their mom, lol.

K, so my Queen and her fanboy leave to go to Yueyang home base.

And now Kissy Xing is sulking because Baby Sushi treated fanboy guy nicer than him.

Oooh, Baby Sushi calling Kissy Xing out on using my Purple Queen for his benefit. And Kissy Xing says she'll leave and hate him anyway. Aww. I don't want her to leave. I want them to all live together happily forever. (I know it won't happen, but that would be the dream though)

"The fiercest ghosts disguise themselves as humans" - it sounds like Kissy Xing is talking about himself - ghost gang boss and whatnot. But I think, deep down, he's actually talking about trying to weed out the bad seeds amongst mankind, even if he has to be a ghost himself to do so. I can't help believing that he truly truly is a good guy after all.

Back to the kid and... whoa, he's not even allowed to walk back to his room on his own. He's not a guest. He's a hostage. :(

At least TopTap girl is kinda nice to him, showing him around a bit and bringing him to the training ground.

Is he gonna crush on her? Or did he flinch because he simply doesn't like to be touched.

Also there's some really snotty bullies at the training ground. Gossiping about our kid's lack of skills right within earshot. And, I mean, I saw how they "hit" those sand sacks. They are ones to talk, pffff.

Oh, fanboy knows TopTap girl. Right, same sect and everything. Okay, okay. So he's getting my Queen into the sect to snoop around at her heart's desire. Cool.

Hmm, there's a 5 lakes monument, and boss guy wants the kid to worship it. Interesting.

Back to smirklord. Where Baby Sushi is trying to send Kissy Xing off. Aww, he looks devastated at first, but then just decides he won't leave, lol. Nice. Also calls out Baby Sushi following the kid around. And he doesn't even deny it.

Okay, so  Window of Heaven is nearby doing... stuff. Like sending off lanterns at daytime. No idea, tbh.

Oh, wow, my Purple Queen is a fast runner. Already back with the boys. And Kissy Xing has no secrets from Baby Sushi. (Or so it seems ;) )

He's calling the kid "the little idiot", and it's cute. He sounds like a dad already.

Ok, so my queen lets the guys in on the monument worshipping thing, and apparently that's a big deal, because Baby Sushi runs off and Kissy Xing follows and doesn't even let her finish.

What does that monument do???

K, so, it's a memorial of those 5 initial guys who formed a brotherly alliance, which then resulted in 5 sects who work together. And the leaders' names are carved into the monument. The kid might become one of them one day.

Why is 5 lakes final boss guy so nice all of a sudden? And did the kid just agree to let him decide who will be the next leader of his sect?

Oh, the pleated skirt soldiers of 5 lakes got overpowered by some masked guys and a pretty guy from Window of Heaven. Ooooooh, is he there to kidnap the kid?

How exactly does 5 lakes final boss guy plan on fighting a bunch of crossbow opponents with just his sword???

Oooooh, smirklord are watching from afar. They better get that kid out of there. AND KISSY XING JUST REFERRED TO BABY SUSHI AS HIS SOULMATE! Waaaaah. Also offering to die for him. Nice. But, please,... don't.

Whoooooaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!! Our two dads are heroes <3

Okay, so, the kid and 5 lakes final boss guy get to run back home with their pleated skirt soldiers. While the dads interrogate pretty Window of Heaven guy.

woooooh, did pretty guy just recognize Baby Sushi??? :o

Okay, wait, if they're on the same side and pretty guy is willing to do whatever Baby Sushi wants... why did he want him to let the kid go?

LOL, Kissy Xing was actually trying to behave decently and leave, but Baby Sushi completely disregarded his offer to be sent away. Awww

Okay, who is this Duan Peng Ju guy? Is he some 5 lakes boss? Why does he want the glazed armor? And how come, every time some mystery is solved, new questions keep popping up?

LOL, Kissy Xing completely ignores the offer to call pretty Window of Heaven guy by his real name. I feel that. He calls him little master. Cute.

Omg, so much is going on. I can't keep up with all the talking. So, the assumption is that the kid still has a piece of Glazed Armor somehow, and 5 lakes want to get if before the heroes conference.

Cut to some guy in blue.He looks faintly familiar, but I have no idea. Oh, he must be the thief. He's unloading tons of jewelry onto a table.

Huh, how does he have two pieces of glass now? Did Kissy Xing have a piece in his money pouch as well? Or is that from somebody else? And who just opened the door?????

Ooooh, romantic night out with smirklord. Yes! Gimme!

Kissy Xing wants to know the truth about Baby Sushi now. And Baby Sushi feels like he owes him a favor when all Kissy Xing wants is honesty.

Aww, Baby Sushi admits that he simply wanted to save the kid. And then he's turning the tables, interrogating Kissy Xing. Nice. Clever.

Oooh, Kissy Xing admits he showed up at the kid's place for a reason, not by coincidence.

They are so close they could kiss.

Just saying.

Yo, Baby Sushi doesn't want to be fed bullshit. He wants to know the truth because they're friends. And the way Kissy Xing's face falls at that for a second is priceless.

OMG, is he actually telling him to be more than friends? WHAT?

Now he LITERALLY called him his soulmate, waaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! He's so whipped. (how did this pass censorship?)

Ouch, somebody knocked out thief guy. Ah, no, poisoned him, they say. Anyway, he's done.

Wait, was the glass poisoned? No, that couldn't be, could it? Then it would still be there. And the door wouldn't have opened on its own.

LOL, Kissy Xing on the market street is like a kid in a candy store. And Baby Sushi is paying for everything, because he's a whipped sugar daddy. Even if he doesn't admit it to himself, lol.

Whoa, Kissy Xing with all the indecent offers. No shame. Wow. He literally said "Just let me spend your money" and "I'll listen to your command" -and it is NOT lost on Sugar Daddy Sushi, although he tells Kissy Xing to stay away. But, let's be real, that's not gonna happen.

There's a circus in town. hmm. OMG, they're on a date.

Sugar Daddy Sushi points out the zither of one of the musicians. What about it? Is it like the music assassin's? I don't get it. (also, side note, it’s not actually a Zither at all, which would be a Guqin, it’s a type of mandolin, which is a Liuqin, but... whatever, probably translation mistake)

Kissy Xing is SO enthralled in the show. He's really like a little kid. He's adorable.

Oh, so much is happening. Heads dropping from a box. It's the ghost gang!

Nice! I mean, scary, but also cool. Is this what Kissy Xing had planned?

Okay, so... this was the ghost gang putting Yueyang sect in their place. Showing them who's boss and who's got the upper hand. Got it.

Kissy Xing wants to go back to the kid. I'm with him. That's a good idea. Yeah.

Alright the entire Yueyang gang is now talking and lamenting this Junior Wei guy. I'm not sure if he was one of the ones who stood next to the box when the heads dropped, i.e. one of the suspects, or one of the actual heads. Probably a head, right? Was he the guy from celebrity deathmatch? Anyway, Yueyang is pissed and want revenge.

Okay, so Sugar Daddy Sushi and Kissy Xing are at the Youyang place, greeted by uncle Zhao and buttface Uncle Shen.  And nobody even bats an eye at Sugar Daddy Sushi having cleaned up so nicely. That's weird.

Ooooh, rude-guy uncle Shen accuses our boys of theft, because they left without a word right as the Glazed Armor piece was stolen.

At least uncle Zhao is nice and apologizes.

And now grumpy 5 lakes final boss guy shows up. And Kissy Xing asks him if... he recognizes Kissy Xing? Should he recognize him? I guess he should. Kissy Xing looks a bit disappointed when he says he doesn't know him. And Sugar Daddy Sushi seems to think so as well.

Okay, what? The kid's not feeling well and they can't see him? That sounds fishy.

Now they wanna know who Kissy Xing's dad was,and, while he says he's already dead and a nobody while alive, I don't believe it.

And now a corpse was found, right before they end the episode. And all without revealing whose corpse and where and why and how it died. Waaaaah!!!!!

What I learned in this episode: There's a whole lot of stuff going on behind the scenes. Mostly Kissy Xing scheming. And I have no idea what's coming. The kid NEEDS TO BE SAVED, omg. Get him out of there. Maybe Uncle Zhao as well, because he's nice, but I'm guessing he's gonna die at some point, because usually the nice guys die first.

Goals for future episodes: Same old, same old, find out how Kissy Xing and Sugar Daddy Sushi are connected. Also, understand the bigger picture, like find out what Window of Heaven is planning, also who’s who in the ghost gang and are they genuinely all on the same side (because it doesn’t feel like it). And, will I EVER make that mind map character chart thing???

[taylorswiftdiscographyrate]

#80-71

80. The Lucky One (7.244) Highest score was 11 (@treacherousdemo​); Lowest score was 5

I think we should all take some time out of our day to rewatch the Red Tour performance of The Lucky One. This song really does get slept on a bit, doesn’t it?

Highlighted comments: @corneliaavenue​: “"They tell you that your lucky, but youre so confused cause you don't feel pretty you just feel used" is a god tier lyric”  @yourivysgrows: “I love the story ??”

79. Soon You’ll Get Better (ft. The Chicks) (7.250) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4

Like Ronan, this is a song I’m not going to say much on. But I will say that it was beautiful of Taylor to perform this song on the One World: Together at Home benefit concert, especially knowing how difficult this song was for her to just put out to the world.

Highlighted comments: @itspeterlosingwendy: “its great but it makes me sad” @yourivysgrows: “I cannot listen to this one.” @corneliaavenue: “needs more Chicks, needs to make me not so sad”

78. seven (7.275) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 2

This song is hauntingly beautiful. Taylor’s voice on this really makes the song in my opinion, it helps capture the childlike innocence and naivety. Also, the lyric “passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long” may as well be a thesis statement for folklore the album.

Highlighted comments: @yourivysgrows: “This is the only one I skip /:”

77. Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince (7.306) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 5

This song deserved so much more! I think it’s an absolutely brilliant metaphor, and while I understand the marketing choice behind writing a whole new song to push alongside the film, I really wish that Miss Americana the documentary had just used Miss Americana the song as it’s companion piece. Also this could have had an incredible, cinematic music video. We were robbed, I say! Robbed!

Highlighted comments: @treacherousdemo​: [gives the song a 5] “i apologize. had to be said though.” (no it didn’t!) @everfolk: “I love the cinematic feel of this song, and I feel like people don't acknowledge the fantastic metaphor it has enough” 

76. dorothea (7.320) Highest score was 9.5; Lowest score was 5

This is... kinda the most yeehaw Taylor has gotten since she left her yeehaw era? The fact that it connects to ‘tis the damn season and Taylor has said that Dorothea attended the same school as Betty, James and Inez makes me wish we had gotten a full-blown concept album exploring the lives in this small town that Taylor conjured up from her imagination.

Highlighted comments: @yourivysgrows: “Made me love the name Dorothea tbh”

75. Red (7.328) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 2

Can you believe Taylor invented colours with this song? She’s so powerful.

Highlighted comments: @leadinmeon: “this song is so boring why do ppl like it” @corneliaavenue: “You were red and you liked me 'cause I was blue / But you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky / And you decided purple just wasn't for you” @everfolk: “I love the metaphors in this song especially the first lyric”

74. You Are in Love (7.350) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 2

In case you’ve forgotten, Taylor wrote this song about Jack Antonoff and Lena Dunham! Once you’ve been sufficiently horrified by that knowledge, take comfort in the fact that it’s now probably something that Taylor herself relates to. And that’s very sweet.

Highlighted comments: @liabilitys: “patiently waiting for the day i can relate”

72. Breathe / Forever & Always (7.369) Breathe: Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4.9 Forever & Always: Highest score was 9.5; Lowest score was 4

A Fearless double-feature tie! Breathe includes a feature of the ever-so-iconic 2am motif, and also has backing vocals from Colbie Caillat, a country singer I am not at all familiar with.

Highlighted comments: @tobesolonely: “*cries in 2 am*” @yourivysgrows: “I forget this one existed”

As for Forever & Always... she deserves better! Forever & Always has live performances that bring out peak unhinged Taylor. I mean... “if guys don’t want me to write bad songs about them, they shouldn’t do bad things!”. THE CHAIR THROW?! Fearless Taylor was batshit crazy and we all need to pay her more respect.

Highlighted comments: @walte01: “prefer the piano version” (a lot of people do </3) @onceintwentylifetimes: “both versions are fantastic and so is the live…such a good song”

71. marjorie (7.380) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4

I only gave this song a 6, and I’m kinda regretting it because it’s kinda beautiful? I really like the “what died didn’t stay dead” hook and I love the parallel between track 13 on folklore mentioning Taylor’s grandfather, and track 13 on evermore being a tribute to her grandmother.

Highlighted comments: @yourivysgrows: “This one is so cute”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 258: Have You Thanked Your Twice Today

Previously on BnHA: All Might gave Deku a book with all of the previous OFA successors’ names, quirks, and career stats. Kacchan barely glanced at the book and was all “nah, boring” and JUST LIKE THAT he decided we’re not gonna get any new info, which I don’t think is very fair or considerate Kacchan but whatever!! Anyway though, All Might did reveal that Nana could fly and so Deku is going to learn to fly, so that’s fucking awesome, and then Kacchan and Deku had a moment of being bratty siblings together which I framed and put on my wall, so that was also very enjoyable. Back at the 1-A dorms we learned that Todoroki can’t cook, and the kids had a New Year’s party and talked about how they’re gonna be second years soon and how everything is just SO GREAT AND GOOD AND LIFE IS GOOD, and elsewhere All Might sat outside the teacher’s dorms and had a gorgeous fucking conversation with Aizawa that gave me all the feels. The chapter then ended with a THREE MONTH TIMESKIP to late March when apparently everything is about to go to shit. So yeah. Quite a lot to process there.

Today on BnHA: Hawks spends basically the entire chapter very slowly explaining to us that he became best friends with Twice, and it paid off dividends on account of Twice deciding that Hawks is definitely trustworthy and he should definitely tell him exactly where Tomura is off hiding in the mountains of Kyoto, because that’s the kind of extremely sensitive strategic intel that real best friends don’t keep from one another! Can you guys believe Hawks spent all that time trying to cozy up to fucking Dabi of all people when this whole time Twice was right fucking there. I bet you Twice would never have asked him to kill Best Jeanist and tote around his remains in a knapsack. Anyway so the chapter ends with the heroes launching what I assume is a surprise attack in where I assume is Kyoto, which probably explains that whole “on that day the heroes vanished” bit from the previous chapter. So let’s all wish them good luck, especially because THEY BROUGHT THE FUCKING KIDS WITH THEM GODDAMMIT. Oh my babies. Please be safe.

so I think I’m gonna go back to the Friday schedule since it just works better for me. just gotta remember to take the translations with a grain of salt, but all in all the quality last week wasn’t too bad, and overall the pros outweigh the cons

(ETA: the quality actually went down a lot this time honestly, but Friday still > Sunday in terms of me having the time to read this, so it is what it is.)

well this is interesting!

“in the absence of Endeavor” ? ??? the what now??? “oh yeah did we forget to mention, he’s gone now. we did some focus groups and made a few tweaks based on what the fans said they wanted.” well shit. let this be a warning to you all. it can happen JUST LIKE THAT

um. but I mean, that’s all well and good but uhhhh. [nervous glance toward Ujiko, Tomura, the 100k army, and the 11 noumus] ...

but maybe he’s just absent for the cover though. (ETA: yeah this makes a lot more sense after reading the last page of this chapter lol.) anyway so here we have everyone flying, as all good heroes do, including Deku who doesn’t really need that floating quirk after all I suppose, since he can jump real good. BUT IT’S STILL NICE FOR HIM TO HAVE IT SO SHHH

also the flower!Kacchan eyes are becoming more and more frequent lately. Horikoshi is really having a lot of fun with that

and now we’re going back roughly two months ago! which is still the future as far as I’m concerned! so this is really weird to have a “flashback” that basically still takes place after where we last left off. but whatever

“a week after the ‘hospital’ tip” well thank you, that certainly does help. so Twice is jogging in and beckoning to his best bud Hawks so Hawks is like “?” and walking over

(ETA: this has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I just wanted to say that it’s very possible this flashback is actually taking place on Shouto’s birthday -- January 11th -- given the timing, so happy birthday Shouto! you are getting so big!)

lol see this is one of those times where the whole ‘translation of a translation’ thing doesn’t really work sob. even with context I’m not quite sure wtf Twice is actually asking, but at any rate this at least does give us an idea of how the rest of the League is spending their time now that they’ve completed their whole villain corporate merger

so Spinner and Compress, who actually have a few brain cells to rub together between the two of them, are already deeply involved in running things, and meanwhile Giran, Dabi, and Toga don’t really give a shit and so are content to sit back and wait until their services are actually needed. incidentally I like to think Giran spends a good chunk of his free time just tormenting ReDestro in a bunch of really small and petty ways. like making him get his coffee, and having him call and cancel his cable subscription and stuff. it’s just nice

guys I have no idea wtf is going on in these four panels honestly

well you heard him. that’s the situation. nobody trusts Twice (or was he talking about Hawks?), and meanwhile he has to go poo. not exactly where I thought this chapter would be picking up after that fun little cliffhanger last week, but just goes to show this series truly is a magical Kinder Egg and you never know what you’re gonna get!

so Hawks is explaining for my benefit that Twice was apparently doing an impression of some guy named “Sanctum” who is the oldest member of the MLA

holy shit it took Hawks a whole month to figure out all of the Pliff members? I’m just gonna pass then. thankfully I’m not a spy and I don’t have the fate of the free world depending on me memorizing the organizational chart of a bunch of really boring people whom I really do not give the slightest fuck about. anyway godspeed Hawks

oh no

son of a bitch. we’re in for another long fucking arc aren’t we lmao. well all right then let’s go ahead and do the rundown

Black 1: Fuhrer King Bradley

Black 2: Flying Ace

Black 3: Mother Ginger

Violet 1: Super Mario and Just A Bald Man

Violet 2: Predator and Best Sweaterist

Violet 3: Vizard and Gang Badger

in conclusion, Horikoshi will never stop making Alien/Predator references, and I’m also seeing some strong FMA and Bleach influence here as well. hell, the Mario guy even reminds me of some of the fishman characters from One Piece. so basically we’re all over the place here

other observations: “the new world movement”, huh? are they moving on from PLF at long last? I’ll take Newm over Pliff any day tbh

and so they have a tactical force and a raid force. now that’s interesting as fuck, because who exactly are they planning to raid? now that’s a nice disturbing question to ponder

lastly, the black and violet color schemes are very interesting and I wonder if there’s any significance there that’s going over my head lol. for now I just think it sounds cool regardless

-- MOTHERFUCKER THERE’S A WHOLE NOTHER PAGE OF THIS SHIT FUCK ME I FUCKING QUIT

goddammit. fine

Carmine 1: Lefty Hair and Gerudo Princess

Carmine 2: Slidin’ Go Away and R2-D2

and I can’t see Carmine 3, oh well. meanwhile on the other side we’ve got:

Cleveland 1: Praying Mantis and Righty Hair

Cleveland 2: Jawa and Just Happy To Be Here

and last but not least, Cleveland 3: Badger’s Revenge

what I have learned from this is that I don’t really know what a badger looks like and so any remotely rodent-looking animal person with stripes on their face is going to be slapped with that label because I don’t have time to research what would be a more appropriate animal nickname unless we want to be here until next week. anyway

haha Hawks what the fuck

well that sure is encouraging. so how exactly are the heroes supposed to get the drop on them then? basically we’re fucked, is what you’re saying. well we all been knew so whatever

so Hawks is monologuing to himself about how he was able to nice his way into learning all of the army’s members without getting caught, and in the process he observed how all of the members are all “FUCK THE SYSTEM”, which they definitely have a point about but are also definitely going about the wrong way holy shit

so now he’s feeding some good rabble-rousing lines to Twice who is eating them up

yeah, because Twice famously loves ReDestro lol, oh wait

so Twice is all “I don’t wanna say something that’s not from the heart” because he is PURE and not a Sneaky Sam like SOME PEOPLE! but he understands Hawks’s point that he basically just has to butter them up and tell them what they want to hear, and now he’s running off with a hearty thanks

fffffson of a --

like, you all can see the breakdown in logic that occurred here, right? “some heroes are corrupt” -- absolutely! “kill all heroes” -- wait, what

like obviously there are some real world parallels here. but I very much get the feeling that the PLF/NWM’s movement is fueled less by sentiments of “our law enforcement system is trigger-happy, racist, void of empathy, and think they’re above the law” and more by the notion of “our self-proclaimed superiority gives us the right to do whatever we want and trumps other people’s right to be safe and free, particularly if those people are unfortunate enough to not have quirks.” like, there are a lot of other nuances we could get into here, but that’s basically the gist of it, so yeah. these guys are not to be sympathized with here

and now there’s a big double page spread basically confirming that what these guys really want is blood and anarchy

and the really interesting thing here to me is that we can see Tomura standing at the front of the pack in that bottom right panel. but on the very next panel, with the close-up of Hawks looking as serious as we’ve ever seen him, he basically says that the endgame of all this, the ultimate outcome that this is all meant to bring into place, is one thing and one thing only

yep. well fuck

anyway I have no idea why he’s thanking Twice, but I’m gonna go ahead and guess he unknowingly did something which might give the heroes the potential glimmer of hope which they desperately need. so I will go ahead and thank you too, Twice. you’re a good guy buddy

oh wow there’s a whole page of more meta about Twice! -- and OH SHITTTTTTT

LKDsjflkjsdlfklskgjlskjlfkjsdlfk oh my fkfdjflk how did this never occur to me, just. FSDKLFLSIFKjk

hahaha. :’) holy fucking shit. they have to take him out. they can’t win otherwise. the heroes are already screwed enough as it is with just one Tomura and eleven high ends to contend with; if Twice is able to use his quirk to multiply that exponentially, we can basically kiss the world goodbye. fuck

but Hawks came to realize that Twice is actually a good guy though as echoed above! which, yeah, and can you imagine if he wasn’t, though? shiiit

oh my god they are so cute

listen, I won’t lie, I’m reading this for my 1-A children first and foremost, so there’s a part of me that’s like “HOW MANY MORE PAGES ARE WE GOING TO GET OF THIS JESUS CHRIST.” but there’s no denying that Jin is a good turnip and his unexpected friendship with Hawks -- which I am happy to report is now confirmed to be genuine! because Hawks really does like him! -- is a delight to witness

OH MY GOD TWICE LMAO

“HERE, LET ME JUST DRAW YOU A MAP! (⌒∇⌒。)ANYTHING FOR YOU, BEST FRIEND”

holy fucking shit Twice. did you just save all our asses you beautiful bastard

so between this, and the “hospital” clue, that could be enough to track him down, couldn’t it? no wonder Hawks was so pumped after getting that call. what are the odds this chapter ends with the start of a hero-led raid on a hospital in Kyoto. oh shit oh shit oh shit

lolol oh fuck me

I swear to god Horikoshi if you end this bromance by having Hawks kill Twice for the sake of the greater good, I’ll. ... well I sure as hell won’t like that. please do not

AND JUST LIKE THAT WE’RE BACK TO SPRINGTIME OH MY GOD

what a time to enter the first fucking grade Dai-kun. godspeed little man. I love the little detail that he’s holding an Endeavor plush while looking at the All Might statue. drawing strength from both heroes. aww

and then of course we have this fucking march of heroes which I can only hope is them heading to that hospital! no wonder they all vanished. they all ran off to Kyoto to try and put a stop to the villains’ plans before it’s too late

but I don’t see any of the kiddos there, though? don’t tell me the villains are gonna try something while the adults are away and leave the kids to deal with it all on their own

oh shit no!!! hold up!!

DON’T TELL ME THEY REALLY DID BRING THE KIDS WITH THEM ON THE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS “TIME TO GET OUR ASSES HANDED TO US BY NOUMURAKI TOMURA” MISSION NOOO MY BABIESSS

oh thank god

at least they don’t have the child soldiers on the front fucking lines, fucking christ

AHHHHHHHHH

SAY A PRAYER FOR KATSUKI’S WINTER COSTUME, EVERYONE. BE AT PEACE, SLEEVES OF GONDOR. FAREWELL BEST JEANIST TRIBUTE COLLAR

is this T chest thing on Shouto’s costume new? I can’t imagine that serves any sort of practical function whatsoever; he was probably just tired of looking boring

BUT!!!! those gloves, though!!?! now those are definitely new and I fucking love them. again I can’t really see them having much of a practical application given his quirk, but there is nothing wrong with upgrading oneself just to look sharp! boy wanted a facelift so he went out and got one

that’s some nice Anime Protagonist Wind they’ve got going on there in the mountains of Kyoto. real epic shit

1-B is there too!! and also Hadou, I think, unless that’s Pony? so that’s fucking awesome. we will certainly need all hands on deck

so that’s it for the chapter! not much happened, but we got a lot of Twice appreciation and learned that the heroes still have a few tricks up their sleeves! can’t wait to see how this will all go disastrously wrong. if you ask me, it’s probably when they decided that the best way to launch a surprise attack was to have fifty Endeavor-led guys gather all together and march up Main Street. but far be it from me to tell the heroes how to do their job I guess. best of luck not dying everyone

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 8: Mountain Lion Mean Notes

Okay, so I was writing up notes on my Troped Western fic and then I clicked something and it all disappeared! I’m very upset and I hate the idea of starting again but like... I guess that’s what I gotta do :/

Mountain Lion Mean on AO3.

Written for @troped-fanfic-challenge​

So as I said in my notes, I watched Hell or High Water on the Sunday the trope document opened and immediately became obsessed, and that was my main inspiration. I saw it and loved it and, like with most things I love, my first thought was how can I do this too?? I didn’t want to do a straight AU of it, because it’s just too good and I don’t want to mess with that kind of perfection, but I knew I wanted a similar mood. I also figured pretty early on that I would try to include a bank robbery.

For the first days after the trope doc opened, I mostly just gathered inspiration and tried to think Western thoughts. In addition to HOHW, my inspiration included:

The Western episode of Charmed

A Western Rock playlist I found on Spotify

This post of southwestern gothic aesthetics

“Ranch Girl” by Maile Meloy (also the inspiration for it is new moon and twilight, which, fun fact, was originally going to be a Western; I didn’t re-read the story but it’s been haunting me since I first read it c. 2001 and is probably a partial inspiration for everything I write)

William Faulkner (especially “A Rose for Emily” and A Light in August) for the “town POV” narration

Sigrid Undset for the floating third-person-POV

The wikipedia article on Westerns, for succinct summaries of the themes of Westerns

The original aesthetic, quoted from my notes: “The vastness of the west, the frontier, a little uncivilized, a little dangerous, tough looking men who don’t talk much, extrajudicial justice, the heat and the desert…“

By the time I sat down to brainstorm, I had a few ideas and a few images already in mind. I wanted to include a bank robbery. I liked the idea of Clarke as a gunslinger and/or purveyor of vigilante justice. I thought I might use Gina as a bartender (this was during the half-moment I thought I might write a Bartender Mechanic fic; obviously neither of these things happened). And I liked the idea of including Murphy as some kinda criminal or unsavory type. The image of Bellamy as a taciturn cowboy came fairly early too.

I was a little uncertain at first if I wanted to do an 1800s western or a neo-western, mostly because I felt like the tropes I was attracted to and the images in my head fit better in the 1800s. But ultimately I settled on neo-western pretty fast, because I thought the imagery and themes would work better in the modern day. Plus I just thought it would be easier tbqh.

My first concern was to not just re-write a shittier HOHW. I was really caught up in the logistics of the bank robbery; including too much of that would necessarily make it a copy of the film, so I tried to keep just the bare bones of the robbery + the general justification (saving the family land). Then I added additional portions of the scheme--not too difficult since I knew I wanted Gunslinger/Vigilante Clarke in there, and I needed some way to show that she takes Justice into her own hands--and additional characters. Again, most notably Clarke, but also Raven and Octavia. The characters have their own backgrounds, personalities, relationships, and motivations, all of which make the story more mine imo. I’m satisfied with the balance of Obvious HOHW Influences and original content.

At some point, I described it to my mom as “Bellamy is Toby, Murphy is Tanner, and Clarke is canon Clarke but in the modern West.” Which I still think is accurate.

Including Clarke, though, and privileging the various relationships among the trio of Bellamy, Clarke, and Murphy, made me feel like I was making an it is new moon and twilight knock off except with Clarke for Raven. I still kind of see it, tbh, in the sense that twilight was itself supposed to be a western--I think it would be fair to say that Mountain Lion Mean IS the fic I set out to write in February 2020--and in the sense that I could have written a different story in the same universe as Mountain Lion Mean that explored the Clarke, Murphy, and Bellamy relationships in a way that is similar to twilight. As is, a lot of that is unsaid and unseen. The two fics have different focuses, so it’s probably only apparent to me just how similar they are. Just like, to me, Mad Women and The Wanheda Tape are the same story even though they have very different aesthetics and plots.

Some excerpts from my notes that I think are fun:

I really want to work with the themes (haha themes) of frontier justice and also the sense that the west is infinite but also small, that nature is hard and impossible to wrangle but that the opportunities are narrow and it’s easy to get trapped in it, the melancholy nature of it, the dichotomy of nature (huge, powerful) versus man (small, struggling against nature and against man). Or some such. Or Murphy just robs banks.

Bellamy owns a struggling ranch. Clarke is a gunslinger (don’t really know if I can use this trope in the current day but possibly?) who doesn’t trust the law. Has a conceal[ed]-carry permit. Is the best shot in three counties. Murphy’s been in and out of prison most of his adult life, mostly for crimes like robbery and assault.

How do they know each other? Possibilities: Murphy knows Bellamy through Octavia (idk why…but I do feel like O should appear, riding a horse) (background Octaven? Just a thought), Bellarke are exes, Murphy used to work on the ranch. Clarke has killed someone (someone Bad) and gotten away with it.

I do like the focus being on these three characters, who have a long history but aren’t currently close, coming together for a mission (to rob a bank) for the benefit of one who is struggling (Bellamy) even thought this is an awful lot like both Hell or High Water and it is new moon and twilight lmao.

I like that mood from HOHW where actually Toby was the most dangerous, and the smartest, and he won—the idea that Bellamy is the taciturn cowboy who’s not good at sharing his feelings but he’s also the mastermind in the end. Is that the twist? You get the impression Vigilante Gunslinger Griffin and Actual Ex-Con Murphy are planning something, but then it turns out to be Bellamy who executes the plan? [Not quite how it turned out lol in that I think it’s decently obvious that Bellamy was a major part of it the whole time but I did try to get some of this in with Octavia in the final scene--to really drive home Bellamy’s importance, as the ring leader, since otherwise one could ask, what does he even do?]

Midway through the planning process I came up with some more images to work from:

B and C out at dusk on the ranch, she’s shooting can, a bit of UST perhaps

M shows up at the bar and there’s an awkward silent entrance—perhaps he’s just out of prison

Murphy or Clarke guns akimbo [I picked Clarke to emphasize that she’s the gunslinger, but I had Murphy shoot out the security cameras to show that they were using his robbery experience]

Bellamy being silent and awkward

At this point, it was just about putting all the pieces together. That’s how I tend to plan Troped fics: I lay out all the pieces I need or want to include and then I figure out the shortest and most efficient distances between them. For example, I knew I needed a bank robbery and for Clarke to administer some vigilante justice--so I use that justice as a way to launder the money. They fake a will for her victim and “give” the money to themselves.

I did worry, and still worry, about the timeline re: the Bellarke marriage and the will because I’m quite sure it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t work. But it also... it doesn’t keep me up at night because the whole point is that it’s a scam!! Worrying about legality in a scam is sorta... lol. What I mean specifically is that I wanted it to be clear that Clarke does not kill Kane FOR this scheme. They use something she already did to their advantage. So she and Bellamy can’t be married at the time Kane is killed. That implies the murder was pre-meditated for the bank robbing purpose. But I’m also fairly sure (and I should know this because I took T&E but like...honestly can’t remember) that the people in the will are counted at the time of death, not the time of probate, or you could like... adopt extra kids or marry or divorce someone to affect the will. Plus all that stuff about simultaneous death etc. etc. Also, on a practical level, if Clarke wasn’t married, Kane wouldn’t have an obvious reason to write her spouse into the will. But I get away with this in my head by saying, first, no one’s going to say the husband that’s standing right there doesn’t count as a husband--the law is the law but it’s implemented by people and they fudge corners all the time. They do what seems to make sense even if you’d lose points for it on a law school exam. And second, the will could have been written with the assumption or hope that Clare would marry. Possibly even, though I don’t say this in the fic exactly, on the condition of marriage--Clarke gets 100% to share 50-50 with her husband if she’s married, 0% if she’s not. Doesn’t really matter. It’s supposed to read as outwardly clever and create Mystery and play with the Exes Aesthetic even if it doesn’t hold up the strictest scrutiny. (JDs don’t @ me.)

I justified including the marriage as a necessity because Kane could possibly leave money to Clarke’s husband but he wouldn’t leave money to some rando. I do stand by that part.

I also decided at some point that I wanted to include Background Octaven but be really subtle about it so it was something else the reader would have to piece together: that Raven has a girlfriend, then that Octavia has a girlfriend but, hey, isn’t Raven a bartender?--and then it comes together in the last scene as we see that their relationship was factored into Bellamy’s plan all along: some of the loot goes directly to Octavia and her partner, officially as payment for Raven’s services, unofficially because Bellamy wants to give O a gift. Anyway. Either it was too obvious or too subtle/boring because no one mentioned it but I thought it was cool lol.

At this point in my planning I basically had everything I needed, so I wrote a quick outline of scenes, as I always do, to see how it would flow scene to scene and if I had a place to put all the necessary plot info. I also ended up doing “what I need from this scene” lists for each scene so that I knew what I had to have on my mind to include before I sat down to write each one.

The actual writing was done over 3 days and fairly easily and quickly. I had a lot of fun not just with planning but with the actual process of creation. I think it’s because I was just honestly excited to be in this universe and play with this aesthetic.

Not to blow my own horn here but some parts that I was particularly pleased with were:

“Arkadia hasn’t seen a drop of rain in thirty-two days. The asphalt on the highway shimmers with heat; the air crackles with heat; the heat rises, stifling and strong, from the parched dirt and the cracks in the pavement.” Like I’m sorry but that’s a good image, I like that a lot. Whenever I felt discouraged, I just read that again and felt better.

The description of past Bellarke because boy howdy do I not care to write romance anymore but that was fun. I thought it was hot.

Transitioning Murphy laughing until the coyotes can hear into Bellamy hearing coyotes at night into Bellamy still hearing them during the day. I don’t know if it worked quite like I wanted to but in my head that is a very Cinematic transition, okay? I also like that even though Clarke and Murphy aren’t literally riding off together in that scene, for the reader, they are leaving the narrative never to be seen again. So they get their Dramatic Exit.

Octavia’s explication of the Theme and Bellamy’s possible motivations. I’m pretty proud of myself for actually having a theme and I think I did a good job of explaining it without being too heavy-handed. I also think it was perhaps risky to end with the POV of Octavia, a character who’s barely been in the fic before the last scene, but ultimately that decision felt right to me and I think it had a good flow, a nice mellow exit from the narrative.

What I didn’t like as much was a lot of the first scene. I think it has some great bits but it was the most re-worked part of the fic, and there are still some paragraphs and phrases that I feel are a little stiff. For example, this is a paragraph that I cut entirely:

Diyoza was sure the Griffin daughter did the deed back in January and she's sure about it still. She even gives a quote to the Sun-Times about it, despite her troubles with Green. But she had no proof then, not even a body to justify a murder charge, and she has little proof now. So no one believes the investigation will come to anything.

As you can see, it gives no new information. There were other sentences and phrases that weren’t doing work but were interrupting the flow, which also got cut, but I’m still not sure that the flow is perfect in the final version.

Also displeased that I edited out a * from the version on AO3, thus letting two scenes run together. How embarrassing!!! It’s fixed now though.

Overall though I’m so pleased! I love this fic and I love that I can love things again. This year has already been so hard, just like being battered again and again by waves of a storm, and it’s only 5 weeks in but this experience was so unabashedly good and I’m so grateful for it.

[spockandawe]

Okay, I want to pull together more detailed thoughts at some point, I think, because the sheer amount of material means I have about ten billion thoughts to sort out. But I’ve read all three of the mxtx novels now, and loved all of them, in different ways. Though I already tried to figure out if I can pick a Favorite, and tbh, I can’t. I love them all in ways that are too distinct to let me rank them easily. And... man, it’s lucky for my friends that social distancing is in place, or I’d be hassling them shamelessly to give these novels a try.

RIGHT. So.

The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System: Shen Yuan goes to bed full of rage directed at a trashy webnovel with a grimdark blackened hero who conquered the world and collected hundreds of women into his harem.... and wakes up in novel, while that hero is still an innocent youth. As the hero’s abusive teacher. Who is doomed for a horrifying death unless he can somehow turn things around.

I think I had the most fun with this one. I really enjoy self-referential stories, and stories poking fun at certain genres, and I’ve run into the concept of transmigration before (the idea being a person enters a fictional world, a la lost in austen), though I’m blanking on any media like that I’ve actually consumed. This was chronologically the first book mxtx wrote, and it has less of a sprawling cast with complicated relationships than the other two books, but it definitely has the thing where she lays early groundwork for later revelations that shatter my poor heart. 

And there may be fewer relationships to play with, but my GOD, do I love the relationships we got. I’ve been rolling around in svsss fanfic since I finished the book, even more so than mdzs or tgcf. There’s a lot of good crunchy relationship content with the 79 ship (they destroy me, all day every day), Liu Qingge owns my whole-ass heart, and Luo Binghe makes for a fascinating love interest. I love that even at his best, he remains a needy, needy, manipulative boy, who’s so smart and strong and nEEDY. I don’t love how the book handled moshang, but mmmm the fan content is Good. And Shen Qingqiu does the unreliable narrator thing that is usually not my jam, but works so WELL in these books, in that his unreliable narration is hugely skewed towards not giving himself nearly as much credit as he deserves. Xie Lian takes this to UNBELIEVABLE heights in tgcf, but in Shen Qingqiu’s case, it’s done on such a casual, immediate, personal level that I’m fascinated by everything he does. 

And, since Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu is a millennial fan of trashy romance webnovels who gets yanked into the universe of a novel he hates, into an old-timey xianxia setting, the prose is SO COOL. You swing between modern slang and old school high society courtesies at the drop of a hat, and I’m honestly awed that the translators were able to catch so much of that. Like, in-setting, I love all the nuance you can get in ‘qi-ge should give his a-jiu the scroll’ vs ‘yue-shixiong should give this teacher the scroll’ vs ‘you should give me the scroll’. But then it adds a whole new layer when the person ALSO has modern-day casual speech bouncing around in their head. It makes for a fascinating, fascinating reading experience.

The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation: Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian died. And then he wakes up! In someone else’s body. I’m not going to try to summarize the premise of this one, go look up The Untamed if you want someone to do a better job of this than me XD

Ahhh, this was the book I read first. I still haven’t watched the show (only clips) and I’m not sure I ever will, because adhd is a hell of a drug. But it’s hard to purely evaluate the prose when there’s also this gorgeous, beautifully-acted visual adaptation all over my tumblr to bias me in its favor. I think this book benefits a lot from the MYSTERY of it all. From the very start, there’s the question of ‘what the fuck is up with this goddamn arm’ that the characters pursue, even as that takes them through flashbacks and other arcs within the story. It gives a thrust to the novel that I think isn’t exactly there in tgcf, though I’m torn on which one is “better.” This gave the story momentum, yes, but it also meant I was much more impatient in yi city and the 3zun flashbacks, because this isn’t what I was focused onnnnnn this is cool but how much longer will we BE HERE--

That being said, I think I’ll be more patient with those flashbacks on my next time through the book, now that I have a better picture of where everything is headed. I think the balance and structure of the book worked really well, I was setting myself up for self-sabotage because of the pace I was plowing through the thing. My reading habits didn’t lend themselves well to the nonlinear storytelling, and it speaks to the story’s strength that it held up that well despite me. And the CAST. My GOD. I went in not caring about anyone but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji and maybe the jackass nephew, but... that Did Not Last. I didn’t intend to care about 3zun? Nope, too bad, you care so much now. Who cares about Xue Yang? Me. I care. Way too much. HECK!!!

And something that happens in this book and tgcf that was much less of a thing in svsss is that there are some meaningful holes in the story that I’d like to be filled, and I really care about filling-- and the story doesn’t go there. But it doesn’t leave me unhappy, it leaves me cheerfully scrabbling around in the throwaway details trying to piece together a picture of what happened when I wasn’t looking. What happened to Wei Wuxian in the burial mounds? How did Hua Cheng take control of the ghost city? Idk, but let us Rummage and theorize and roll around in ideas and have a fantastic, speculative time. Svsss might hook me more than the other stories from an au+shipping perspective, but mdzs and tgcf do a great job of making me want to roll around and create within the bounds of canon.

Heaven Official’s Blessing: 800 years ago, Xie Lian ascended to heaven. And fell. And rose again! And fell again. Now he’s ascended for the third time, and things are Awkward.

God, I just finished this, and I’m still reeling. This is the LONGEST mxtx book, that’s for sure. I also think it’s the most tightly edited translation. All the translators did an unbelievable job, I could never even approach what they accomplished, but I am genuinely stunned that a book this long was edited so well. I blew through this in about 3.5 days (if not for work, i could have made it in three dghsafdsgf) and my brain was cooking in my skull by the time I was halfway through, but I couldn’t STOP. I was ENCHANTED the entire time! I was reading so much my head was destroying me and I still sulked so HARD every time I had to put my phone down and sleep.

This book sprawls the hardest, I think, because it involves a cast made of mostly immortal/immortal-adjacent people, so time and space get... flexible. And I feel really bad saying this, because Lan Wangji is DEVOTED, but this is seriously the book with the most attentive and adoring and respectful love interest. Hua Cheng is..... god. I truly don’t think I’ve EVER read a character quite like him before, and I am so, so sad, because I don’t know how I’ll find one who lives up to these heights ever again XD I recommend reading this book just for the Hua Cheng experience, if nothing else. I was making audible noises at literally flailing at multiple points in the story, but most often, it was because of him. 

Shipping is what usually drags me into a fandom hardest, and all of these books do pretty well for themselves, all of them have a nice selection of fluffy and crunchy ships to choose from. And this one... goddammit. I just realized, that the best, most crunchy ships are too spoilery for me to be willing to talk about them here. Hell. Goddammit. But I think tgcf has the crunchiest ship of all, even better than xuexiao. I was so invested, and then there were Reveals, and then I was like OH NO THIS IS TERRIBLE BUT MY INVESTMENT HAS EXPONENTIALLY INCREASED. 

And something that I really, really appreciate, is that across the mxtx books, even though a lot of characters fit into strong archetypes, there’s nobody that is blurring together for me, either within or across the books. Liu Qingge isn’t Jiang Cheng isn’t Feng Xin. They’re all blunt, fighty boys, but all super distinct in my head, and what I want for each of them is distinct and character-driven. I want Liu Qingge to be properly cherished and I want Jiang Cheng to relax with his brother and nephew and I want Feng Xin to [goddammit i don’t want to spoil this book AGH]. It’s something I appreciated in the other books too, but I can really FEEL it in this book, with how long and luxurious it is. 

And last thing I have to say, I think, is that tgcf is so long. It’s so, so long. But I would FITE if anyone tried to pare it down at all. I can’t think of anything I’d be willing to sacrifice. I enjoyed every last piece of it so much, and it was all ultimately SO well-constructed and interlocking, that any piece I can think of snipping out would take away significant emotional impact from what was left. It’s a nonlinear story, like mdzs is nonlinear, and I loved mdzs a lot! But the construction here is so, so, so elegant. I’m just in AWE of how well it was assembled. I was in Agony as reveals happened, because oh no no no no, now that they’ve told me this, that casts this whole other scene in a brand new light! The one I read hundreds of thousands of words ago! Literally, I need to go start the book over so I can savor the shitty teens in new ways, given [redacted] as revealed in like, the last twenty percent of the book. The book was a fun experience, but there’s so Much here that I know I haven’t even absorbed yet. I loved the other mxtx books a lot, and in many ways, they were easier to get a grasp on than tgcf was, but even before I finished tgcf I was already despairingly trying to figure out how easily I could fit a full reread into my life, and I think that says a lot

[jeonqukie]

SOMEBODY ELSE / 01.

⊰ — SYNOPSIS / After years of working up the courage to confess his feelings for you, Min Yoongi decides to give up and move on from the unrequited position he has put himself in. However, when you discover his veiled attraction towards you, you dwell on what could have been. You find yourself ready to reciprocate the same sentiment for him, only you’re too late when he reveals he has already found someone else. Consequently, you’re lured into a series of meaningless and warped encounters from the one person you swore to avoid.

⊰ — FEATURING / Primarily featuring Min Yoongi and Kim Taehyung; brief appearances by Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, and Park Jimin.

⊰ — GENRES / Angst, romance, mature, friends with benefits, and unrequited love.

⊰ — WARNINGS / This chapter contains alcohol consumption, graphic language, lots of self-deprecating remarks, very mature and sexual content including unprotected (drunk) sex (practice safe sex!), oral sex (female & male receiving), and cre*mpie.

⊰ — WORD COUNT / 14.7k

⊰ — TABLE OF CONTENTS / To be redirected and get the latest on the story, click on the table of contents.

⊰ — NOTES / Hi, all! This is my very first work being posted on Tumblr, so I hope you guys enjoyed it. This fic is heavily inspired by Ross and Rachel’s relationship in Friends, but less comedy and more angst? Feedback and comments would be absolutely lovely! And thank you for reading all the way through, tbh. I would like to apologize in advance for a very poorly written smut scene (primarily bc this is my very first time writing it. I’ll learn, I promise). <3

© All rights reserved to jeonqukie. All or portions of my work may not be reproduced, distributed, modified, or used in any way whatsoever without my permission.

An endless cacophony of your vexing ringtone and the buzzing vibrations against the softness of your mattress interrupted your well-deserved slumber. A small, freshly pedicured foot searches underneath the blanket, but your efforts were fruitless when you can’t seem to find the small device. This ensued you to sit up with your arms scrambling to search for the device screaming bloody murder at the devil’s hour.

“Did anybody ever tell you it was rude to be calling someone at this ungodly hour?” When you swiped the green symbol right across from your phone, you wasted no time to seethe through the receiver. You could have easily declined the call, but there was a small chance that the person may call back, disrupting your slumber again.

A chuckle could be heard from your phone and the familiarity of the voice on the other end alleviated some of the frustration boiling in your blood. “You could’ve waited a few more seconds. But your impatient-ass decided to answer me.”

You fell back on the plethora of pillows, seeking for warmth and comfort. “What do you want, Yoongi? This is the first time in twenty years that I’m finally getting the proper sleep I deserve.” High pitched whines thrummed his eardrums resulting in another sadistic scoff from Yoongi.

“You mean twenty-one years.”

The correction proceeded you to flutter your eyes open. You lifted the small device away from your profile, eyes shooting towards the corner of the screen that indicated it was six in the morning; you were finally twenty-one.

“Happy birthday, _____.” Suddenly, you weren’t so annoyed at your best friend. You were beginning to think that his rude awakening is more of a loving-not-so-thoughtful gesture from Yoongi. “Believe it or not, I actually called your mom to ask what time she gave birth to you. She said 6:30, but - uh, honestly, I can’t wait ‘til 6:30.”

“This couldn’t wait until dinner tonight or something?”

A suppressed snicker came slipping out of your dry mouth when you imagined how your mom reacted at Yoongi’s inquiry. You shake your head in disbelief. His intent definitely brightened your early morning and put a good jumpstart to your birthday. There was rustling in the background and a bit of hesitance at his end of the line.

“Give me a second.”

There was an abrupt announcement in the background that resulted the knitting of your sculpted brows together.

“Hey, where are you? It doesn’t sound like you’re home.”

But Yoongi didn’t respond immediately. Instead, you hear another voice in the background.

“Here’s your boarding pass, sir. Have a safe flight.”

“Yoongi?”

“Y - yeah, I’m here, sorry ‘bout that.” He apologized hastily when he attaches his phone back to his ear.

He was silent after his quick apologies. You were astonished at how your brain had manage to piece everything together.

It made sense why you had an early birthday celebration last night. According to your roommate, it was meant to be ironic with the amount of alcohol everyone brought because you were technically not twenty-one; you were merely twenty-four hours away from being legal enough to drink. However, he insisted on not drinking. According to him, he didn’t want you to feel left out. But that wasn’t the absolute truth; he didn’t want to to drink because he knew he had an early morning. Now, he calls you first thing in the morning to greet you happy birthday because he won’t have time to do it later on - because he won’t be present for your actual birthday.

“I thought you weren’t heading to Korea in like, two weeks.” Your words came out strangled all thanks to the exhaustion from last night’s events.

“I thought so, too, but they’re running on a tight schedule.” The disappointment was evident in his voice and you began chewing on the inside of your cheek out of habit. You know fully well that he regrets having to miss out on the one day you expect him to be present. “I promise I’ll make it up to you when I come back, alright?” You emitted a silent hum, signalling that his absence will be missed but you understood the circumstances. “I gotta go. I’ll be boarding soon. I’ll text you when I land.”

And he was gone. The silence in your room was suddenly taking a toll on you and you found yourself knocking back into deep slumber.

“Happy birthday to you,” All of your friends have gathered in your apartment, singing at the top of their lungs while Jimin began lighting up candles on your birthday cake. “Happy birthday, happy birthday! Happy birthday to you!”

The scene was overtly mawkish; the way the offensively neon pink, plush party hat that has the words ‘happy birthday’ clung to your head, the two-tiered red velvet birthday cake sat right in front of you with rainbow-colored candles pierced right through the top tiered layer. Everyone took pictures and recorded videos of the celebration with your blase profile on full display.

“I hate all of you. I told you I didn’t want a birthday party since we already celebrated last night.” Everyone thought they were stealth planning your “surprise” celebration, but it was so obvious and you’ve repeated it to them numerous times that you were fully aware of their plans.

“Just blow the fucking candles!” Seokjin hollered whilst he held his phone horizontally, filming you in the process.

“Don’t forget to make a wish.” Michelle, your roommate, announced to the entire room to stay silent as you began to contemplate what you really wanted for your birthday.

Your mind went blank.

What more could you possibly ask for? You received your degree in business and psychology, the internship you remained loyal to for months has offered you a promising position at the organization permanently, and you had the best relationship with your friends and family. This was your definition of the perfect life, at least in your eyes - this was the good life.

Yet there was something missing.

You were reminded of the simplistic message he sent you an hour before the festivities.

Just landed. Wish I was there to see the look on your face when they make you wear that birthday hat. Have fun, loser.

You thought it was nearly impossible for your wishes to come true but you still blew the candles and covered your ears as everyone around you erupted in a celebratory roar.

“Alright, I want some cake!” Hoseok ended his recording and shoved his phone right back into his pockets. Michelle’s hand smacked Hoseok’s as he reached for the cream cheese frosting and you cackled way too loud at his reaction. “What was that about?”

“She hasn’t even opened her presents yet, Hobi.” You were already rolling your eyes, insisting that there was no need for presents and everyone should help themselves to the cake right in front of you. 

With that announcement, Michelle began gathering all of the gifts for you while Hoseok was already cutting the cake.

Hoseok gave you a too many pair of socks with cute farm animals on them. Meanwhile, Michelle bought you the most comfortable periwinkle throw blanket for your room. Seokjin opted for the safe route when he bought you a three-wicked vanilla candle from Bath and Body Works. Jimin, on the other hand, bought you something that you actually needed; a protective case for your phone.

As if on cue, the shrill ringtone erupts from the depths of Jimin’s pockets. When he fishes out the device and taps on the ‘answer’ button, he holds out his phone to give the person a good angle of his face.

“Well, don’t you look pretty?” His greeting resulted in you propping a brow up in curiosity as you hear the series of curse words originating from the phone.

“Shut up and give the phone to _____. She’s not answering my calls.” Lifting a middle finger up on his face, Jimin tosses his phone over to you and you catch it at the right time, holding Jimin’s phone on your palm.

“Hey, sleeping beauty.” You jeered when you see the deep bags formed underneath his feline-like eyes. It looked like he had just settled inside his hotel room. It was unusually bright inside the room, then again - it was the day time over there and it was a stark contrast to the dark night sky where you resided.

“Ha-ha, keep that shit up or you’re not getting your present, brat.” Yoongi threatens and you decide to close your mouth shut, pursing them into one singular line. “Alright, Jimin, you can give it to her.”

You placed the sleek phone right next to your slice of cake. Eyes darting towards Jimin who offered you a little rose gold baggie. When you captured the small gift bag on your palm, your eyes took a quick peek inside, surprised to see a plain white, velvet box only to feel your brows knitting into one.

“I said no gifts.”

“Just open it. I don’t got a lot of time.” The urgency can be heard in his voice before you could even fish out the box out of the bag, there was a boisterous knock on his end of the call. “Fuck, alright - I gotta go. Just open it, alright?” Without another word, Yoongi definitively ends the call.

You were too reluctant to lift open the velvet box, but there was the other half of you that instinctively lifts it up only to reveal the shimmering chain bracelet that was nestled inside.

“I thought we had a limit on gifts!” Hoseok whispered harshly into Jimin's ear while they all watched you open the velvet box.

Your soft, pink petals parted slowly when your eyes glistened at the way the charms dangled on the chain. The main charm was a large silver heart. The most notable one was a dog charm that represented your family dog that passed away two month ago. There was an Eiffel Tower charm that clung close to the heart, reminiscing back to when you studied abroad for three months in Paris.

“I’ve always wanted one of these.” You lifted the charm bracelet up to see how it glimmered under the lights. “I told him I was saving up just to get a bracelet and a charm.”

“It must have cost a fortune.” Michelle's eyes widen, offering to put the bracelet on your wrist.

“I told Yoongi months ago about this. I think I only mentioned it to him once. How could he possibly remember I wanted one of these?” When the bracelet was latched onto you, a large smile appears across your visage and, unknowingly, Seokjin was recording your reaction from the side, knowing fully well that Yoongi would love to see you receiving your gift with his own eyes.

“Well, remember back when he was in love with, uh - what’s her face? He bought her those ridiculously expensive earrings that cost like, $200. They didn’t even look cute on her."

For some odd reason, you and Michelle were the only ones who erupted in a fit of laughter over Hoseok’s statements. 

But the room is silent once you and Michelle dwell further on his words. 

All chattering and the sounds of forks clattering on plates came to an abrupt halt when your eyes narrow at Hoseok who resumed shoveling the cake into his mouth, analyzing his supposed harmless statement.

“Wait, what did you just say, Hobi?” When Hoseok reflected back to his previous statement, he stopped chewing on the cake and your eyes shot towards Seokjin who’s eyes were just as wide as Hoseok’s.

“I - I said the earrings didn’t even look cute on her.” He was trying his best to recover from his mistake, but he was failing miserably. Michelle’s brows furrowed even more, eyes darting to every other individual in the room.

“No, Hobi, the in love part.” Michelle’s tone coated with curiosity. It was silent and Hoseok no longer functioned, afraid he would divulge more information that shouldn’t be said. 

“Are you guys saying that Yoongi has a thing for _____?” Jimin’s plump petals pressed against each other in return, knowing very well he cannot lie to Michelle. Your eyes searched for the answers on all of the boys’ faces. Hoseok and Seokjin were avoiding your eyes at all costs, fearing that one look would give the answer away.

Your heart was beating at an alarming rate and it was hammering against your chest too hard. “He’s been in love with you the moment you two met.” You felt like you were drowning with the sudden revelation. It was hard to swallow everything in and your eyes scanned the room; Hoseok mentally scolding himself and Michelle was in the same contingency as you were. 

Meanwhile, your fingers played with each charm that had been linked around your wrist and you could already feel the butterflies clouding your stomach.

“I - I have to talk to him.” You were already out of your seat when you began searching for your phone. You looked like an absolute idiot searching for a device that had been seemingly placed right in front of you, but your mind was in an absolute disarray.

“How exactly are you going to talk to him about this? You can’t call him; he’s probably too jet lagged. You can’t just call him and ask the poor guy all these questions!” Clearly in a state of panic, Hoseok rushed his words out. Nevertheless, you still found yourself pacing back and forth in your quaint apartment.

The beating of your heart starts to slow and your feet finds themselves magically glued to the carpeted floors. The realization finally hit you that you were absolutely fucking oblivious to everything around you. Why didn’t anyone tell you about this if everyone around the room seemed to know about it?

“C’mon, _____. He’s probably going to be too busy to answer his phone calls - you know him.” Jimin, clearly opposite of Hoseok, was trying to alleviate the frantic situation. He seemed to be the one thinking much more rationally out of the boys. This was clearly not the way Yoongi wouldn’t want you to find out about his true feelings for you. He would be utterly pissed at Hoseok for spilling the beans and Jimin was trying his best to convince you to be patient with the situation. 

“What are you going to tell him, huh? Do you even feel the same way for him?” Seokjin, on the other hand, cared less about sugar coating the primary conflict of the situation. His sharp tongue hit you like a ton of bricks with a few set of words.

The warmth of your throat seized up the same way it did earlier. From the way your face contorted in confusion and naivety, Seokjin guided you back to the chair where they placed a slice of cake for you to eat.

“Don’t call him just yet, alright? Just… give it a day when you have a clear mind. You know how Yoongi is.” They were all probably right. You didn’t want to discuss such a serious matter over the phone. You needed to confront him about this in person.

You weren’t entirely sure of how you actually felt for Yoongi.

You love him. But do you love him the same way he loves you?

Suddenly, you’re appraising each memory of Yoongi at a different perspective.

When Hoseok, Seokjin, and Jimin decided to turn in for the night, Michelle offered to clean up the apartment since it was your birthday. As you lay on your bed, scrolling through all the pictures you had saved on your device, you studied the way Yoongi looked at you.

Every single picture that had you grinning ever so goofily onto the lens, Yoongi would stare at you with those eyes. He looked at you like you were some mythical being - as if he can’t believe you actually existed. His candid smile somehow had an effect on your cheeks. They heated up a bright red and you find yourself missing him badly the more you seemed to move onto the next image.

In one picture, you remembered it was Yoongi’s cousin’s wedding. You wore a pink, silk slip dress with a beautiful white rose corsage attached around your wrist. The bouquet of white and light pink roses bundled up in one hand while the other clung so tightly on Yoongi. Your hair had been done messily into a low bun with tiny wisps of hair framing the shape of your hair while Yoongi wore a tight black suit with the salmon tie. The photographer candidly captured your grinning faces when you both walked down the aisle of his brother’s wedding. You can see how your beige manicured nails dug so deeply onto his arm, remembering just how nervous you were walking with heels.

You even remembered when he leaned down to whisper into your ears if you fell, he would fall along with you.

In another picture, your sleeping body is slumped over his frame in the back seat of Seokjin’s van. It was winter break and you were all headed up to stay for a weekend in Michelle’s grandparents’ cabin. His flannel jacket draped over your torso with your face nuzzled onto his neck. Your head in a perfect position for his head to slumber on. What you didn’t notice is the way both of his long arms are slithered around your torso, attempting to keep you warm from the freezing temperature.

The last photo was centered on Yoongi who had his eyes pinched shut, laughing way too hard at the fact that he had shoved a slice of cake towards your face when you attempted to shove frosting over his own. The shock was evident in your face when a smear of white frosting trails from your cheek all the way up to the temple of your head.

Deciding to put your memory dive onto a halt, your hand grips your phone tightly and you hold up your wrist where you still wore the charm bracelet proudly. As you positioned your camera to capture the way each charm embellished your arm, you snapped the picture immediately and sent it over to Yoongi.

Got your gift. I love it. I can’t wait ‘til you come home.

Your response seemed to be ambiguous. At least to you, it seemed to be ambiguous. You were a fool if you continued to deny your feelings for him. You chose not to think of this any more, so you mindlessly sent the message to Yoongi before you lock your phone, forcing yourself into deep sleep, trying to leave behind the idea that Yoongi is in love with you.

“Hey, loser. I just - uh, woke up and I’m having the shittiest headache right now.” His husky laughter tickled your ears and an eruption of goosebumps appeared across your arms as you listened intently to Yoongi’s voice message. “Can you believe my boss actually took me out for drinks the first night we’re in Korea? I’m jet lagged and hungover. Anyway, I’m glad you liked your gift. I - fuck, I can’t think right now, but I don’t think I’ll be able to respond because there’s just so much shit to do.” You hear take a sharp inhale through his teeth; an old habit of his. “I should be home after the week is over then we’ll actually drink as legal adults.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Michelle look at you with a raised brow. “What are you giggling about?” She interrogates as she offers you a bowl of Cheerios with a decent serving of cold milk. You weren’t even aware your mouth sung a series of chortles.

“Uh, it’s nothing.” You locked your phone once more when you begin shoveling scoops of cereal into your mouth.

She nudges right next to you when you see your phone lights up, indicating you’ve received a notification. Both your eyes dart towards your wallpaper; a group photo from your unexpected celebratory bash - the night before Yoongi left. His arms around your shoulders while you had yours clinging onto his waist, the other arm slithered around Michelle herself. Both you and Michelle had your eyes directed towards the camera, but you notice Yoongi’s eyes staring directly at you with his mouth revealing his gummy grin.

“I - I mean, it’s crazy, right? The idea of Yoongi and me… being together.” You weren’t so sure if you were speaking to Michelle or yourself. You began to poke at the cereal, playing with each piece and shoveling them into your mouth in the process.

“What’s so crazy about it? Don’t you guys get mistaken as a couple sometimes? You guys have been friends for like, 3 years; you’ve seen each other at your worst. You get along with his friends, he gets along with yours. You’ve argued before, but found ways to forgive and forget and move on. I mean, you guys are an unofficial couple! Both of you never had the balls to admit your feelings.” Michelle began to explain her observations while you resume your breakfast.

“But what if it’s not what we both expect? What if… we’re just better off as friends? Then, things will be just fucking awkward if it doesn’t work out. People will end up picking sides and it’s -” Michelle was already rolling her eyes at your statement and you were slightly offended she had dismissed your perspective so quickly. “What?”

“Stop trying to delay the inevitable. Listen, _____, if you can look me in the eyes right now and tell me you don’t feel the same way about Yoongi the way he feels about you - even if it’s the smallest possibility, you don’t have to tell him shit and we can all forget about this.” The firmness and frankness that dripped from her voice had you completely frozen. Your eyes dart towards her owns and you instinctively feel your jaw jut forward.

She can see the hesitation in the way your lip remained tightly knitted together. A satisfied sneer appears on her visage when you release the spoon onto the bowl, losing appetite after the conversation.

You’ve accepted the fact that you feel the exact same way about Yoongi.

You cared about him a lot. You cared about his thoughts and his opinions and you always sought for his advice. You connected with him on an emotional level. You were carefree and could reveal your true self around him.

He made you happy.

Perhaps you've always loved him the way he did to you - you were just too blind to see it.

You didn’t really like being at the airport; everything was absolutely overpriced and the service was not even good. Parking was always a pain in the ass and security is strict (for good reasons, but they were still unnecessarily uptight). Surprisingly enough, there were too many children, whining and crying because of the monotonies of the world.

Yet you find yourself ignoring all your hatred for the airport when you hold onto your cup of coffee and another cup for Yoongi.

The flight information board indicated that Yoongi landed fifteen minutes ago and he should be arriving any minute now. You awaited at baggage claim unsure of whether he even had a check in baggage in the first place. But at the corner of your eye, you see him with a beanie on, the face mask covering his nose and mouth as he clutches onto his carry on bag, searching the crowd behind him.

As you pushed through the crowd, you kept your eyes locked on his tired face. Your heart was beating a million times faster than ever and you could feel your chest combust when his eyes lock onto yours. “Yoongi,” You greet him breathlessly. All logical thoughts and processes begin to decimate when he pulls the mask out of his face to reveal his gummy grin.

“_____! What are you doing here?” The excitement painted right across his face. He clearly wasn’t expecting your presence and it made your heart swell by a tenfold.

You pull him into a tight embrace and he returns the gesture tighter than what you expected. You savored his warmth against yours. But the softness of his physique is soon so far away from you. Your brows furrow in confusion when you feel his body separate from you by something - by someone else.

An unfamiliar voice echoes close by. The voice calls out for Yoongi’s name and you pull away from his blissful touch only to see Yoongi turn back around with the same gummy smile back at another figure. “Hey, are we ready to go?” The high pitched voice rings your ears unpleasantly, already hearing the alarm sounds ringing offensively in your ears when you see her reach for his veiny hands.

“Uh, Yoongi?” Your voice sounded so small when you feel his arm disconnect from your frame and link up with the other female’s. “Did I - uh, miss something here?”

“Oh shit, right - you remember Tiffany, right?” The uneasiness began to bubble at the pit of your stomach when you see the smaller frame of the girl cling so closely to Yoongi’s. “She was an old classmate of mine in university. She used to work for my boss back then and - uh, yeah, we sort of got together.” His voice began to fade into an abyss, echoing inside your head.

“You - you mean you two are together?” Your brain was trying its best to piece everything together, but it failed to connect any information together. There was a look of concern on Yoongi’s face when he sees your brows knit together. You took every ounce of your being to hold it all together - to not show any unpleasantries on your face.

“Y - yeah, basically. I mean, we agreed that it wasn’t exclusive. We just had a couple of dates when we were both in Korea, right?” You see Tiffany nod in agreement and you were unsure whether the new information alleviated some of your uneasiness, but you were trying your best to feign happiness for the sake of your best friend..

“Oh my god, that’s wonderful. I - uh, I just - Yoongi isn’t the type to date randomly, you know?” You chuckle as you take in the new couple right in front of you. “I’m really happy for the two of you. Wow! I can’t wait to tell everyone about this!” You sounded so exasperated than pleased about the news of Yoongi’s new love interest.

Tiffany seemed to be, for the most part, satisfied with your reaction. You were really trying to fool the both of them - perhaps even trying to fool yourself that you should be happy for Yoongi. He is your best friend and he has finally found someone. You even found yourself offering to help the new couple with their luggage, giving them both a ride back to Yoongi’s apartment. Your kindness had ultimately fooled Yoongi himself. He seemed to be oblivious to your suppressed emotions.

“I’ll see you at Jin’s tonight? He said he scored some extra steaks from his meat supplier last night. I figured we can all catch up there. I was - uh, planning on introducing Tiffany tonight, if she’s up for it.” Yoongi was walking you out to your car and you began to chew on the inside of your cheek. The regulation of your emotions was wearing you thin and you feared Yoongi may sense the uneasiness of the situation.

“Uh, yeah, of course. I’ll be there.” You nodded instantaneously and you lifted your wrist to look at your watch, reading the time. “I should really get going -”

“You’re wearing it.” Yoongi noted, eyes examining your wrist. “It looks really good on you.” You weren’t so sure why, but  you can feel the hot, salty tears building on your eyes. You fought your quivering lips as they desperately wanted to curve onto a pout. Instead, they twitched unwantedly onto a small grin.

“Yeah, uh, can you tell I really like it?” You rush your words, ending your sentence with a weak chuckle. “Listen, I really need to go. I have to head to work in a couple of hours and I want to catch up on some sleep.” Yoongi nodded once, agreeing to catch up later on that night at Seokjin’s and you hugged him ever so tightly before you drove off, spilling every tear you held back.

That’s another reason to hate the airport.

It’s funny how time works.

It’s been around three months since Yoongi and Tiffany established their relationship.

For years, Yoongi pined for you. He attempted numerous times to confess his feelings for you, but there wasn’t really a perfect moment.

Now, you were pining for him.

Your circle of friends were startled to see Yoongi with an unexpected guest clinging dearly onto his arm. They were just as confused as you were; eyes often drifting to Yoongi’s and then to yours to seek for affirmation. But the answer lied in Yoongi’s irises as they lit up like the stars that every time he turned to Tiffany.

Out of pity (for you and his own sanity), Seokjin decided to divulge minute details about Yoongi’s dilemma for you.

“You had that on and off relationship with Taehyung. He was fed up with you crying over him. That’s when he really wanted to tell you.” You have convinced yourself that you have completely moved on from Taehyung. Then again, you’ve never really dated after your relationship with him. “He didn’t want to tell you how he felt about you when you two would break up because… he didn’t want to really take advantage of you - being vulnerable and all. But then when it seemed like the right time to finally tell you how he feels, you got back together with Taehyung or you decided to go on some random Tinder date.”

That was the most you can get out of any of Yoongi’s friends.

It’s funny how time works because now you were fully aware of Yoongi’s feelings for you and you were ready to return the same to him. But you’re back to square one, you’re back in a state of absolute confusion when you see Yoongi spending more time with somebody else everyday.

You debated when was the right time to confront Yoongi about this matter. Was it even a good idea to tell him how you feel? He was happy and content with Tiffany and you didn’t want to be the dickwad that ruined such a special thing.

Michelle was there to comfort you whenever you over analyzed the situation. But your insecurities began to get the best of you when you discovered Michelle would often speak about Tiffany - convincing you to get to know her more because she was a fun person to be around with. Hoseok and Jimin encouraged you to do the same because they’ve never seen Yoongi this happy before.

Perhaps you were being childish by trying subconsciously trying to ignore your friend’s new girlfriend, so you tried your best to brush past any insecurities and negativity and focus on making your best friend happy.

“Hey, uh -” You cleared your throat when you were sent through his voicemail. “I was wondering if you and Tiffany wanted to go out for drinks tonight. Michelle really wanted to celebrate because this really annoying co-worker of her finally got fired.” You chuckled into the receiver, fingers grazing through your soft mane. “We’ll be at the usual at 7pm. I hope you guys can make it.” You ended the call and tossed your phone to the side, scratching your head in the process.

“You’re trying, babe.” Michelle can clearly see your reluctance - trying to get close to the girl who you envied the most. “She’s really cool, I promise.”

The bar was packed that evening. For obvious reasons, it was a Friday night. This bar, in specific, offered inexpensive drinks and unlimited wings at specific times, so it was easily the hottest spot of the night. Everyone seemed to be gathered by the corner of the room. They had already occupied a booth big enough for everybody to sit at. Hoseok and Jimin were at the bar ordering the necessary drinks for everybody. Meanwhile, Seokjin and Michelle accompanied you at the booths.

“Did you get a call back from Yoongi?” Seokjin talked into your ear, seeing that you were dozing off into your own universe as you stared off into the crowd of people on the dance floor.

“Uh, no. I think he has other plans for tonight.” Your hands clutched your cellular device seeing no replies or call backs from Yoongi at all.

“Maybe. The night is still young.” Michelle cheered when she spotted Hoseok and Jimin coming in with beers and shots in their hands. You weren’t really fond of drinking alcohol. However, when your mind was so fixated on the idea of Yoongi choosing to spend his time with Tiffany instead of spending it with you, you agreed to drink that evening.

You opted for the beer, not wanting to experience the strong aftermath of hard liquor on your body. You thanked Hoseok and Jimin for ordering the drinks, mentioning that you would pay them back once the night is over. When everyone raised their desired drink in the air, Michelle commenced her toast on her ex co-worker finally being terminated from her position and wishing her the best of luck. You were conflicted when you laugh your hardest after taking a swig out of your beer bottle because you were having the time of your life when Yoongi wasn’t there.

Your face said it all and Michelle had to squeeze your arm to reassure you that it was okay. You needed to loosen up. You needed to stop over thinking everything and it didn’t matter who was there or not - you were having a good time with your friends and there was nothing wrong with it.

Michelle shared the story about how her ex co-worker got fired from her job and reminisced on all the times that left her infuriated at the former employee. After months of hearing stories about the abhorrent actions she would do to her, you were glad that the grand finale was something worth hearing about. Perhaps it was your buzzed demeanor that made the story so enjoyable to hear because you found yourself reaching for your second bottle after she had concluded her anecdote.

“Oh my god, I love this song!” Jimin took another shot and swallowed the liquor all down before he grabbed onto Michelle’s wrist and yours onto the dancefloor.

You roll your eyes when Jimin and Michelle force you to stay and dance. With a simple roll of your eyes, you were squeezed in between Jimin and Michelle. You were still nursing a beer bottle close to you. Your body heat was increasing due to the proximity of the people around you and the alcohol you consumed.

The beat of the music was easy to sway to and jump around when necessary. Michelle clung to you closely, satisfied that you were chortling away as Jimin would leave the two of you when he spotted a cute girl at the side to lure them into the middle of the dance floor.

When they moved onto the next song, your eyes drifted to the entrance and, suddenly, your universe stops momentarily. The last person you expect to come walking through those doors grins from ear to ear when he spots the boisterous group at the opposite side of the room.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me right now.” You hissed, barely audible but loud enough for Michelle to dart her eyes over to where your eyes were focused at.

Kim Taehyung takes a large, heavy swig out of a beer bottle when he is greeted by his closest friends. 

Every fiber of your being began to freeze the more your mind understands that this was, as a matter of fact, not a dream.

It’s been months since you’ve seen him.

The contortions on Michelle’s profile shows that she’s in much shock as you are. Your eyes avert to one of his friends, who jerks his head in your direction, eyes connecting to yours and you have to shake Michelle into reality.

“Quit staring.” You warn Michelle. A series of curses erupt from your glossed lips when Taehyung turns to see what his friend is tending to. Inevitably so, he searches the crowd only you happen to stick out like a sore thumb. With your cheeks burning scarlet, mortified with Michelle visibly panics in your peripheral vision.

“He’s walking this way.” You’re frozen to the ground and when Taehyung notices Michelle being pulled by an ignorant Jimin, you’re forced to stare right onto his smug grin as he finally squeezes his way past the crowd towards you.

“Hey.” Taehyung breathes heavily. “You still come to this bar, huh?” Taehyung’s deep voice vibrated loudly despite the boisterous noises blaring on the dance floor. His nonchalant small talk was definitely a disguise for what his honest intentions were. “Your hair’s shorter; it looks good.”

“That’s… enough, Tae." You seethed as you looked him straight in the eye. “It has been a while, so let’s… not do this, okay?”

“Oh, c’mon, _____, I’m just trying to catch up with an old friend, s’all.” His torments began to make your blood boil. Lips twitching as you keep your lips hidden from him.

“Well, I’m not.” You were already getting more and more agitated at the conversation, biting back anything remotely disrespectful at him. “I… am done with this conversation. I don’t know how else to say it, but we’re not going to -”

Your sentence completely interrupted when his warm, long digits wrap themselves around your wrist.

“Not even for old time’s sake?” His voice was tempting and you thought you have grown immune to his ministrations. But his other hand nestled onto your waist, fingers digging deep on your skin when you begin to reverse from where you stood, hoping it would create the distance you needed. “C’mon, when was the last time someone made you-” His whispers ensued an eruption of goosebumps throughout your body. 

You feel your knees getting weak when his hot lips barely brush underneath your ear and you gathered every ounce of pride in you to push him away from your body, interrupting his tantalizing teases.

“No more, Tae.” You croaked. The only thing you were focused on were the sounds of your own breathing. Your eyes drifted to your clenched fist that had been positioned on Taehyung’s chest; the charm bracelet gracing over your delicate wrist. 

All those times you came crawling back to Taehyung, assuming everything is going to work out but all your expectations fall short and Yoongi would be there to comfort you and remind you that you deserve someone better - you needed someone better.

“I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding someone else to make your dick wet, Tae.” You stumble backwards when you dismiss the conversation yourself, seeking refuge back to your friends. 

You can see Michelle smiling at you with pride and Jimin’s pleading look of sympathy. However, you had a look of disdain right across yours when you chug the last of your beer and your fingers gripped onto the minuscule shot glass of liquor and threw it inside of your mouth. You were proud of the choices you made that evening. But you still weren’t satisfied with yourself. Somehow, there’s a stinging irritation at the back of your mind when you’re reminded of Yoongi once again. You think of how he would react to you rejecting your ex-boyfriend; he would be proud of you and that should be enough for you to move past the agitation.

Yet there was still a yearning rushing through your veins with each sip of bitterness. Your idyllic heart beats hard against your chest when your mind drifts off to your own world. You yearned for him to be there, sharing a fit of laughter at Michelle’s ridiculous stories, drunkenly taunting Hoseok and Seokjin to hook up with some random girl at the bar. Suddenly, you are reminded of the enticing sensation of Taehyung’s hands on your frame. Instead, you thought of his digits pressing so firmly on your hips, hips swaying and guiding you to the beat of the song on the dance floor with his soft petals marking your delicate skin.

But he’s not here.

He’s not even yours, to begin with.

You were left unfulfilled and you were in distress, so you scold your halcyon heart for craving something it can’t have.

Delicate digits wrap themselves around the minuscule shot glass on the table. It burned as it coated your throat and you swallowed it down, eyes pinching together at the taste of the warm spirit. 

Your hands searched for your phone to see that there was still no text or call from Yoongi. The frustration that originated from Taehyung increased exponentially when you’re reminded that you are left with no one around you - not even Yoongi.

“I - I gotta go pee!” You were slurring your words and the world began to spin right in front of your eyes when you stumbled briskly over to the women’s bathroom. “I promise I’ll stop after the next round, al - alright?” At this point, you weren’t so sure who you were speaking to but you found yourself in line for the women’s bathroom.

In the depths of your jeans, you fish out your phone when you feel a buzz. As you unlock your phone, your brain attempts to breeze through the new text message you received.

Sorry. Just saw your message. Tiffany wasn’t feeling well. Rain check?

You grit your teeth feeling the tears build up at the corners of your eyes and you shut your phone off, shoving the small device back inside your pockets.

Your inhibition resulted in the depletion of your emotional stability. You couldn’t control yourself from the tears streaming down your reddened face. There was a horrendous assortment of emotions brewing at the pit of your stomach; you were sad, mad, and frustrated at the situation - it was out of your control and you began to pity yourself for crying over someone you could have but you were too oblivious - too lost in your own world and it’s all too late.

In a split second, you found yourself fishing out your phone back out of the confines of your pocket. You unlock it and search for Yoongi’s number before you initiated the call. As expected, lately, Yoongi’s calls have been leading you to voicemail and you were suddenly feeling the absolute magnitude of your anger boil at the pit of your stomach.

“H - Hey, I just got your message. I hope Tiff is feeling better. Is it okay if I call her T - Tiff? Because that’s what I think you call her.” Every syllable of your statement wavered in little stutters and you chewed on the inside of your cheek, preventing yourself from whimpering the flood of emotions. “I - uh, it sucks you’re not here. I wish you were. I saw - I saw Tae… and I -” At the mention of your ex-boyfriend, as if the universe was testing what little pride and dignity you had, he leans against the wall, placing himself in line for the men’s bathroom.

His profile alone lured you in; the way his jaw clenched as he mindlessly scrolls through his phone, tongue poking out to swipe across his bottom lip, and those hooded eyes glancing up to see what seems to be holding up the line.

At the corner of your eye, suddenly, he catches you staring at him.

Despite your inebriated demeanor, you are aware you are silent and just that one look from Taehyung had you wrapped around his fingers once again. “I - uh, I gotta go, Yoongi. I’m sorry.” 

You were already scolding yourself when you ended the call and found yourself scurrying back into the arms of Taehyung.

When your eyelids flutter open to the bright Saturday morning, the piercing pain of a hangover headache attacks your temples and your hands begin the laborious attempt to find your phone, needing to read the time. However, you’re taken aback when you feel a breathing figure right next to you. The heat of their skin burning your own and you roll to your side to see Taehyung sleeping peacefully right next to you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

You’re frustrated at yourself because you have no recollection of the night before. The last thing you can remember is rejecting him. The rest of the night seemed to be an absolute blur for you and you heard him groan at your soft scolds.

“Tae, wake up.”

You tried your best to be as gentle as possible when you shake him from his peaceful slumber. 

“You need to leave before Michelle sees you.” Your eyes search your room for a piece of clothing that would cover your top half.

“My head hurts.” He murmurs onto your pillow and he turns over, searching for the softness of your pillows to cuddle against. “I need an aspirin.”

All of your pride suddenly gone down the drain when your eyes study your room. Various pieces of fabric scattered from the door to the foot of your bed. The blanket tangled around you and Taehyung’s naked bodies with all your throw pillows on the verge of falling off your bed.

“Tae,” You whispered his name, surrendering in defeat. You’ve accepted that all those months of convincing that you were immune to his tricks were false. The universe has won and you were defeated; it was celebrating in victory. You were an absolute fool and you’ve accepted it as you laid right next to him, trying to piece events of the night together.

“What happened last night, Tae?”

His eyes fluttered open to see your eyes glued on the blank ceiling. From the events of last night, he sees you in a different light and he pities you when he can see the water works build in your orbs. He propped himself up and examined your profile - how vulnerable you were - and he desperately wanted to apologize at that very moment. Nevertheless, apologies would not relieve you of your self-deprecation.

“Don’t look at me like that. Just tell me what happened.”

He sighed, sucking on his bottom lip as he laid himself on his back, staring at the ceiling as you did. “I don’t know what happened before you… came up to me. You were really upset. You came to me crying and you said you just wanted to go back to your place.” You clutch on your duvet covers tightly, anticipating the worst. “We got to your place and you were having a good time.” He chuckled meekly until you notice him pause for a long time.

“Don’t get mad at yourself, _____.” He warns you as he turns to look at you and your eyes meet his, nodding for a moment.

“Just tell me everything. Don’t bullshit anything, please.”

He took a deep breath before he closed his eyes, licking his lips.

“You were drunk and I understand why it happened, okay?”

“Just fucking tell me.”

“You kept saying his name.” He rushed the hard truth out. He seemed just as mortified as you were. “You - you thought I was Yoongi. You just kept… saying his name at the end - when you, uh - you know.” Cheeks already a bright scarlet hue when Tae looks at you straight in the eye. “I, uh - we both stopped after we were done and you wanted... to cuddle, so I… stayed for the night.” Your palms enveloped your face when you stare at Taehyung in mortification.

“Oh god, I’m - I’m so sorry.” You shake your head in absolute disbelief, burying your face onto the plethora of pillows on your bed. “I know I’m asking for a lot here, but please don’t tell anyone about this. I was having a bad night. I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing.” Taehyung chuckled and ran his long digits through his smooth hair, nibbling on his bottom lip. 

“Trust me, I won’t be telling anyone about this. It doesn’t make me look any better, you know?” Suddenly, you find yourself sharing a fit of laughter with each other. You were two people - two victims of the cruel world. “I’m sorry. I can see you’re trying here, _____.” He looks at you once more with sincerity and you narrow your eyes at him.

“We need to stop doing this, Tae. We need to move on. We’re not… good for each other, you know that.” He hated to agree with you, but at the corner of your eyes you see him nod once. Unexpectedly, he pulls you close to press a gentle peck on your forehead, accepting the necessary fate of your relationship. “I’ll get you your aspirin and some water.”

When you muster every ounce of strength to roll out of bed to search for your robe, you tie it tightly around your waist, ambling softly to your door.

“_____,” Taehyung calls your name softly. “I always knew.”

You stop in your tracks when you fold your arms, insisting he explain himself further. “Knew what?”

“Yoongi.” He sat up on your bed, rubbing his eyes from the lack of sleep. “I knew you had a thing for him. Well, after last night, you… still have a thing for him.” You were taken aback from his statement and you shake your head in defense, a scoff erupting from your lips.

“That’s… not possible.” You were delusional, trying to convince yourself once more that everyone was wrong. You were wrong.

You were wrong to think you and Yoongi could happen.

“Stop being so dense, _____. It’s one of the reasons why I started getting jealous and possessive over you.”

The solemn contortion on his eyes notified you that you had to accept defeat once again. 

Everyone around you observed the truth between you and Yoongi.

You were impervious while he was resigned.

“Dress up.” You requested from Tae, deviating away from the topic - hoping Taehyung understood you didn’t want to discuss the subject any further.

Inevitably, Michelle knew about the entire encounter with Taehyung. She scolded you for not informing the group of your whereabouts, mainly because you were too intoxicated to form any coherent sentences. She whined about how she had to call Taehyung for his assistance only to discover that he had taken you home already.

“I swear to god, _____, you do this one more time and I’m actually going to slap you senseless until you get it straight to your head that Taehyung is not good for you.” Michelle’s anger seethed through her words and you could only laugh at her little soliloquy.

“I - I know, alright? I learned my lesson.”

She stopped rambling when she observes the way you rub your temples when you begin to sip on your hot coffee. “Listen, I love you and all, but… you just can’t keep letting yourself get hurt like that.”

“I got the message, Michelle.” She was shocked to hear the tone of your voice and she knew she was pushing it.

She captured the keys that had been placed on the coffee table, fiddling with them as she paved her way to the front door. “Try to recover from last night. If you need anything, call me.” 

You both bid your goodbyes as you watched Michelle exit out of your apartment.

You had the day off, thankfully. You really didn’t have anything to do but a bunch of chores around the house and a couple of errands to do.

You feared this moment; being absolutely alone with nothing to keep you busy. Sure, the first few hours may be a breeze, but once you’ve accomplished what you needed to do, the silence takes a toll on you and you begin to analyze your mistakes.

All thoughts were interrupted by the muffled footsteps approaching your front door and you hear the rapid knocking at the other side of the door. As you leaped out of the comfortable couch, tip toeing through the little peephole to see who your uninvited guest is, you begin to unlock the door instantaneously when you see a breathless Yoongi standing right before you.

“Hi,” Your eyes are wide as you see him clearly unhappy about something. His perfectly sculpted brows knit together. It was clear something is bothering him. You can feel the conflicted aura as he invites himself inside with his phone clutched tightly around his fingers. 

“Hey, what’s - what’s up?”

He didn’t respond to any of your questions. Instead, he put his phone on full blast when you hear his voice mail blaring through the speaker.

“You have two saved messages.” The feminine, monotonous voice echoed inside your living room and you stood there quivering in anticipation. “One saved message.” It alerted the only two people in the room and your heart was beating too quick for your liking.

“H - Hey, I just got your message. I hope Tiff is feeling better. Is it okay if I call her T - Tiff? Because that’s what I think you call her. I - uh, it sucks you’re not here. I wish you were. I saw - I saw Tae… and I -” Every sign of life drained out of your face as you listen to your inebriated state of mind. Slurs from the night before were embarrassing enough and there was a long pause in your recorded message. Finally, you hear deep sighs and the sounds of rustling in the background. “I - uh, I gotta go, Yoongi. I’m sorry.”

“To replay this message, press -” Immediately, Yoongi presses on 2; the option to save the regretful message. However, it was your turn to knit your brows into one as you listen to the same monotonous voice address there was another saved message. “One saved message.”

“Hey, Yoongs.” Your voice sounded more coherent now. Your mind still possessing no recollection of the message being played out. “I know it’s late, but - uh, I miss you. I’m sorry if it seems like I'm... distancing myself or something.” There was a whimper coming from the phone and the tears came prickling through your eyes and streaming down your cheeks as you listen to yourself sob. “I’m really happy for you. Everyone’s telling me she makes you really happy and that’s fucking great.” A self-deprecating chuckle erupts from your mouth as you listen on, still clueless from the forgotten message. “I’m trying, you know? You’ve moved on. I’m glad you did. I’m, uh, I’m trying to get over you too.” You could feel your world slowly crumbled beneath your feet as your eyes connect with Yoongi’s. You see his jaw clenched tightly and he sucks on his bottom lip as he replays the message for himself. “I’m so fucking stupid. I didn’t see it. I didn’t see you the way you saw me. But… I do now and it’s hard to see you with her. I don’t think I’ve said this out loud at all, but I - I think I’m in love with you.” You hiccuped onto the phone and you hear rustling in the background before the message abruptly concludes.

“To replay this message, press 1. To save this message, press -” You weren’t so sure which option Yoongi picked, but you watch him end the voicemail program and shove his phone back in the depths of his tight jeans.

“You’re trying to get over me?” Yoongi barely whispers, his voice almost inaudible as he takes a step closer towards you, but you take a step back from where you stood. You were afraid because you weren’t so sure of how he was feeling. You chose not to answer him, you choose not to meet his piercing gaze.

“Yoongi, let’s not -”

“Let’s not what, _____?”

His eyes shaped into bewilderment when you meet his. He did not want to surrender to your dismal demeanor; he obviously hates it when you cry, but he didn’t want to fall so easily to your pleads. He sought for answers that you could give him.

“Don’t do this, please.” You seethed as you grit your teeth, tears already streaming down your translucent cheeks. “I’m over it, ‘kay?” The words were so simple, but they didn’t resonate so well with him.

“When - when were you even - why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was increasing in volume and you were both growing frustrated at the lack of communication the both of you were willing to offer.

“Because you had already met her! I didn’t know you… you had feelings for me before you left.” The pain strangled in your voice was evident as you sobbed your reply. “You’ve moved on with her! And that’s fucking great, you know? You found somebody else and I just sucked it up and moved on! I didn’t want to fuck up a good thing for you.”

You weren’t so sure how Yoongi was taking all of this new information. He stood there holding his ground in silence, still trying to process the turn of events. His face unchanged but you coul see the pain and chaos appearing right through his irises.

“What about you, huh?” You decided to turn the tables on him. “You had… all this time to tell me how you really felt about me! Why didn’t you?”

Yoongi chuckled darkly, running his long digits through his black mane. “I tried so many times. At least, I tried to tell you, but there was never a good time! You - you kept going back to him. God, you were so frustrating to deal with sometimes, _____. You kept asking for my advice and I was the dumbass when I see you crawling back to him. Now, you’re - you’re -”

“I’m what?” Your foot mindlessly took a step closer to him. He was towering over you and you desperately wanted to yell at him out of pure frustration. “You think I’m weak.” You whispered harshly, a weak grin tattooed on your face this entire time. “I come crawling right back to him every time and you think I’m pathetic for thinking it’ll work out.”

“Stop it.” He demanded, closing his eyes shut as he listened to you taunting to yourself.

“I’m the dumbass, Yoongi. You did the right thing. You’re moving on and you chose the right girl.”

“I said to fucking stop.” Yoongi groans in exasperation as you continue to tear yourself apart.

“You’re happier now. We’re better off this way, right?”

“I’m not!” His booming voice made you feel small, but you were glad you got him all riled up because you knew he would bottle up all his thoughts to himself. “You think I’m happier? I’m still fucking in love you! I thought you would never feel the same way as I did and - and what I have with Tiffany is good, okay?”

He was breathing hard as he thought out loud. You watched his soft lips quiver with every word he spoke. “She’s sweet and - and she’s funny and she’s really fucking smart.” It sounded like he was trying his best to convince himself that Tiffany was better. The way he stammered, the way he was attempting to talk himself out of the situation you’ve inevitably put yourselves in. “I was happy and, now, I know you love me too and you can’t fucking do that, alright?”

“What do you mean I can’t do that? I didn’t mean to tell you I had feelings for you!” You weren’t going to take full blame for this. Of course, you were drunk and no one was there to monitor your actions, but you lacked any judgment when you made the drunken call to him.

“I’m good. I’m in a good place with Tiffany and you have no right to tell me how you -”

“Excuse me?”

“I was doing great with her until I found out about you.”

You gasped at him suddenly putting the blame on you. “I was doing great until I found out about you! You think this is a walk in the park for me? Seeing you with her that shit fucking -”

You couldn’t finish your sentence because you were sobbing. He could feel his own throat swallow him whole when he sees the hurt painted awfully on your visage. Both of you were arguing loudly and you could already hear your neighbors pounding on their side of the wall, demanding that you two keep it down.

You were aware of just how close your two bodies were. It wasn’t a foreign concept being this close to Yoongi, but you were more conscious of his deep sighs. You could hear the grievance and resentment in each sigh. Your nose smelled the fresh cologne that littered his skin and your eyes leveled to where his mouth remained parted. 

On the other hand, Yoongi can smell the lavender scent of your shampoo from where he stood. His mind screamed for him to take a step back, reflect on what his truly desires and belittle it for yearning for something -- someone he cannot have. Instead, every nerve in his system signaled for his fingers to twitch forward to tuck a the damp stray of hair behind your ear. The desperate longing to feel the heat of your tear stained cheeks was a challenge for him to overcome and he does so successfully by balling his hands into a fist when he drops his arm back to his side. 

“Well, I’m… I’m trying to move on, alright?” He counters softly, backing away from where you both stood so closely from each other. You can see the way his chest rose up and down, attempting to slow his breathing - attempting to calm himself down.

“So what? You’re just going to keep denying the fact that you have feelings for me? Shove it all in the box and put it in the corner?” You ridiculed the idea for a moment and you saw the ephemeral softening of his face conform back to the same callousness he had when he entered the room, slipping his hands inside the depths of his pockets.

“I’ve been doing it since I met you, so it should be easy enough to do.” You could see the pain in his eyes as he completed his heartbreaking declaration. “I - uh, I have to go.” Yoongi dismissed the conversation, straightening his posture as he slips his hands in the depths of his pockets. “I’m meeting Tiffany’s sister for breakfast.”

You swallowed hard at the information being thrown at you. He didn’t have to mention where he was off to. Perhaps it was a good thing at the same time considering you were probably going to be left wondering where he was headed to. You feel your legs mindlessly walk towards the front door and you unlock and swing it open for Yoongi to exit out of.

“I’ll see you whenever, I guess.” You whispered ever so softly, trying to remain composed and unfazed at his motives for the day. You awaited for his exit by the door and, for a moment, a part of you wished that he didn’t want to leave you all alone. But the both of you clung to your pride - what little pride you possessed - too much.

You both established that you possessed feelings for each other, chose not to do anything about it, and you both decided to move on from the mess you had both created.

He paused momentarily right by the door and he chooses to stride past by you, heading towards his car that had been parked idly by right next to yours. When he hops inside the driver’s seat, you slam the door as roughly as possible, leaning against the wooden frame, wishing that Michelle had never left for work in the first place.

It was a month and a half of bottling up all of your pain and sadness. You weren’t as resilient as him; you can only imagine how he felt when he saw you with Taehyung all those months being together. You wished you possessed the same strength as him - the same willpower as he did.

But you didn’t.

So you searched your entire apartment for your car keys to meet up with the one person you shouldn’t be seeing.

You had no sense of logic and rationality when you find yourself standing in front of the familiar door. You sought for a way to numb the pain - perhaps even sought a way to relieve you from the pain, make you feel good about yourself, even if it's for a couple of hours. You wanted to do something without thinking of the repercussions.

Now, you found yourself in front of Taehyung’s apartment. Your knuckles meeting the wooden door, awaiting for his greeting.

But it took him a while to actually appear at the door. You had to knock a few more times until you can hear him curse at your impatience. “I said give me a minute.” He grunts as he swings the door open to reveal a more sober and decent version of yourself. “Hey. What are you doing here?” He breathes out as he studies you from head to toe.

You were fully clothed with your hair still damp from the morning shower you had. All you needed to do was freshen up and change onto a comfortable pair of clothes before you sped off to Taehyung’s apartment. Meanwhile, he stood with black slacks that clung to his waist with a belt and a half-buttoned shirt with his hair still relatively damp from his shower.

“Hi,” You greeted him back as you fiddled with the sleeves of your sweater. “I know I’m totally contradicting everything I said earlier this morning, but… can I come in?”

There was a reluctance on his side. He was debating what could possibly be the reason for your visit.

“Ye - Yeah, of course.” He’s decided not to taunt at you for coming back to him once again. It was a cyclical nature; the way your relationship functioned with him.

“Did I interrupt you or something? Were you headed -“

“I was going to meet with a cousin of mine who’s in town, but I can just reschedule.” You decided not to protest at his statement, but you feel the obligation to do so since you were intruding his time. However, he decides to address the elephant in the room. “Listen, I’m trying not to be rude, but you literally just said we need to stop seeing each other and - well, you’re here and I’m - I’m just really fucking confused, _____. What’s going on?” He can tell from the way your eyes swelled and the redness of your cheeks that you had been crying, but he didn’t want to pry.

“I don’t know who else to talk to, to be honest. Michelle’s not answering her phone.” You clarified before you began chewing on the inside of your cheek. “I think I called Yoongi last night and I fucked up. I was drunk and… I think I just… ruined everything.”

You sat at his couch while he stood across the room with his arms folded across his broad chest. You began to fiddle with the hem of your sweater, trying to distract yourself from the mere thought that every ounce of pride and dignity you possessed was now sinking down the drain.

“He’s moved on, Tae.” You were starting to be more accustomed to the feeling of hot tears forming on your eyes, but you’ve learned to hold back from them streaming down your face. “I - uh, I really don’t want to pine over someone who doesn’t want me, to be fucking honest. At least, not today.”

The tension in the air was so thick and dense and the silence that settled on the atmosphere caused your stomach to churn. You were already thinking of a smooth recovery out of this situation.

Instead, the room echoes when Taehyung began speaking.

“And… you want me to help you with that?” Taehyung was already ambling towards where you sat at a painstaking pace. Your eyes were glued on the floor, examining the way your feet seemed so much smaller in comparison to his own.

Your lengthy silence was enough for his index finger to caress your cheek over to your chin, lifting your chin up to meet his gaze. “I need you to say it yourself, _____.” He crouches right in front of you, hoping being at the same eye level with him would help you focus on your decision. “I need you to say you want this.”

“I - I don’t want to think right now.”

The way his eyes studied your face inevitably led to some salty tears falling down your cheeks. The pad of his thumb wipes the hot tears off of your cheek and you nestled at the comfort of his palm.

“I… want to feel good even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. I don’t want to think.” Both of Taehyung’s hands cupped your small face as he presses his forehead against yours, noses touching each other. “I don’t… want to think of him.”

You couldn’t say it out loud. But, at that moment, you needed Taehyung.

“Oh, darling,” He barely whispers when his fingers crawl to the back of your neck, hands tugging at the end of your hair to encourage yourself to look at him. “I’ll make sure you won’t be thinking of him.”

You were taken aback by Taehyung’s words, but more so his actions.

The tenderness of his palms evolved onto a rough yearning for you.

It all happened in a split second, Taehyung lifts you up from his couch and, instinctively, you wrap your legs around his waist. Arms slither around his broad shoulders and your lips attach to his once again. His lips felt like soft petals capturing your own, savoring the taste of your nectar.

In the beginning, he treated you as delicately as possible. Your fragile digits combing through his freshly washed hair, paying more attention to the hair at the back of his neck. Sweet hums of blissfulness erupts from both of your lips when he carefully throws you onto his bed.

You landed on a plethora of pillows and he offers you a look of reassurance as his digits play with the hem of your sweater. With a simple nod, you were exposed to him, revealing the lace bra you wore underneath the overly large sweater.

“Jesus fucking Christ, _____.” He practically rips your sweater off of you, but he chooses to peel the thick layer of clothing of your frame. He growled into your ear, teeth latching onto the lobe as he tugs it down. His flat tongue licks onto the sweetest spot on your neck, suckling ever so softly to leave his mark right on you.

His fingers expertly fiddled with the hook of your bra easily unclasping the annoying piece of garment off of your breasts. With his large palms, he cups both of them, kneading them and savoring the warmth of your body against his. The tip of his tongue flicks on the hardened bud of your nipple. He pinches the other, stimulating it just as much as the other.

“You’re not thinking of him now, are you?” All this time Yoongi never crossed your mind until Taehyung had brought him up. You shake your head as a response and a notable smirk etches onto his mouth. You focused on his merry work on your breasts and you don’t even realize how much you had been squirming underneath him - how soaked you were underneath him. Thighs were pressed so tightly together, desperately seeking the friction you yearned for. 

Taehyung is well aware of this. However, he wants to test just how far you would wait for him to touch you where you wanted to be touched the most.

Mewls and whimpers erupted out of your stained lips when his thigh is placed right in between yours, pressing up against your warm core. Your back arches at the sensation of his limb adding pressure onto the most sensitive area you possessed.

He guides your attention towards his own predicament. Underneath his slacks, you could feel the heat and hardness of his member insisting itself upon the inside of your thighs. A sight of pleasure spills out of your lips when his hands cups over your clothed core.

“I know you said you didn’t want to think of him and you shouldn’t.” Taehyung remarks, sinking his head farther down your hips. His mouth envelopes your smooth skin, nibbling at the sides. His teeth toying with the garter of your leggings and underwear. “But, fuck, he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

You were perplexed that Taehyung’s words would have an effect on you - even after all this time. It brought you some of your self-esteem back and you didn’t necessarily protest against his actions.

Taehyung’s fingers hook onto the garter of your leggings and underwear which he peels right off of your legs, exposing your already drenched cunt. He marveled at how pink and raw your other set of petals were, how it glistened under the natural light. “Fuck, you smell good.” The tip of his nose nudges at your core, the softness of his mouth enveloping briefly on your labia before he releases it with a simple pop.

It was an instantaneous sensation, but your fingers searched for something to grasp onto. When your delicate digits tangle themselves onto his mane, Taehyung’s dark hues dart over to where you squirm underneath his touch. “- taste so fucking good, too - fuck.”

Large, warm palms press firmly onto your hips, keeping them grounded onto the mattress. He begins utilizing his tantalizing tongue to lick along the perimeter of your core. Every now and then, you can feel his teeth graze upon your fragile skin, sucking at the softness of it. He marveled at the way your body reacted.

You responded so well to his touch. He had touched you so briefly and he can see your nectar coating the petals that were settled in between your thighs. “Tae,” You stutter his name, swallowing every ounce of pride you had possessed. “Touch me, please.”

“Mm, gladly.” His thick lips enveloped your clit. As he suckled on the sensitive nub, his tongue flicked from top to bottom and side to side. You wasted no time to wrap your legs around his head, fingers curling around his smooth hair. The heat of his tongue lapped back and forth from the entrance of your core over to the bud once again. The heat of his palms encouraged you to spread your legs more for him, granting him the ease of access he needed.

When you cooperate to his unspoken requests, the desired pressure of his middle finger prods over to your hole and you arch your back at the sensation. Slowly slipping his long finger inside you, he savors the heat of your cunt already curling when he observes your eyes rolling at a specific spot.

“You’re going to make me cum already if you keep doing that.” You strangled a moan. It was an overwhelming sensation to have his tongue flat against your bud while a single digit seemed to curl inside of your wetness. Your toes already curling, awaiting for the coil to snap inside of you.

“So soon?” He taunts lifting his head away from your thighs to capture the moment with his own eyes. “But it’s just… one finger, darling.” The absence of his tongue resulted in a symphony of whimpers. However, he compensates it with another digit - his ring finger - being prodded inside you as well. The stretch was well worth the wait and your eyes closed shut when he pistons his digits in and out of your hole.

You clenched so tightly around them and his patience was wearing thin as well. “So tight. I can’t believe after all this time, you’re still this fucking tight, baby.”

His tongue laps repeatedly over your nub while his index and middle finger resume pistoning themselves inside your entrance. A thumb circling your nub to encourage the orgasm to arrive and it was enough to send you over the edge. You squealed and squeezed around him, feeling the heat of your body radiate around the room.

Beads of sweat already prickling your skin when you attempt to recover from your brief yet intense orgasm. Your eyes examine the way Taehyung’s hooded lids seems to be gazing down upon you. Swiping your tongue right across your petals, you lift yourself up from his bed and stretch your neck to plant them ever so softly onto his. The lingering nectar that coated his were soon licked and cleaned by your own mouth. A rumble came deep from his chest when you feel his large palm envelope your small hand onto his erect manhood.

Hastily, your hands scramble to unlatch the buckle of his belt and unzip the zipper of his jeans. You were more aware of your breathing; it was uneven and erratic. Taehyung assists you with stripping the annoying layer of clothing off of him by peeling the shirt off of him, revealing his broad chest. You reveled at the state of his near naked body but you can tell he’s growing impatient with the way his length twitched underneath your touch.

Your eager mouth enveloped the pink tip of his member and you savored the saltiness of his pre-cum. A baritone grunt echoes his room when your hot tongue starts coating every inch of his cock with your saliva. You were gripping the base of his member, pumping at a steady pace and when your eyes flicker over to his, he rolls his head back to savor the way your small hand can barely wrap around his cock.

When you decide to release his length from your grip, your own petals wrap themselves around the thickness of his girth, hollowing your cheeks in the process as you take him inside your hot mouth further. Series of curses, deep sighs, and erotic moans encourage you to hasten the bobbing of your head.

You can feel the tip of his member already hitting the back of your throat, realizing that his own hips searches for the necessary tightness and depth it desired. You stopped your bobbing giving him complete control over your mouth. Hips thrusting at the rhythm he established while both his hands gather your hair to reveal your aching face, struggling to keep him in.

Spit dripping off of the corners of your mouth, cheeks remaining hollowed while he fucked your mouth greedily. Your eyes began to tear at the position you were in, but you basked in pride when you see Taehyung grit his teeth, struggling to delay his release. “God, that’s a good, baby; can’t believe you can still deep throat this big fucking cock.”

When he releases the vice grip he has on your hair, you take this as an opportunity to release his thickness with a pop, only to see a string of saliva from your lip to the head of his dick.

“I - I want to ride you.” The confession came out all out in one breath and at first glance you see a smug grin right across Taehyung’s features. He proceeded to respond to you with a meek chuckle, shaking his head in disapproval.

With furrowed brows, you retreated in confusion. However, he straightens himself, hovering over you when you ruminate on his decision.

“Why not?”

“I have my reasons.” He comforts you by nuzzling his nose at the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. He encourages you to lay down comfortably.

“I’d like to hear them.” You barely whisper when you can feel his length just resting comfortably in between your folds.

“I don’t hear you protesting against this.” He hisses, feeling his hips tauntingly thrust on your folds to coat every inch of his erect cock, prodding at the entrance every now and then.

“I - I’m not against this, but I’d like to be on top.” You plead, eyes opening to meet his once more.

Once again, his lips etched onto the same smug grin and you knit your brows together like you had before.

“I’d love to have you on top of me -”

“But?”

“- but the last time you were on top of me, you kept saying his name.”

All teases and taunts put to the side, you both hiss at the sensation of his length stretching into your tight hole. Your thoughts were being clouded with the haze of ecstasy he had inflicted onto you. He wasn’t all the way in and you can feel your toes already curling when he retreats back and slams right into you.

A yelp erupts from your mouth, foreheads pressed against each other as he gazes down at your parted lips. Your cheeks turned a bright hue at his reason and you couldn’t blame him for it. “With me on top,” He slams right back into you once again, feeling just how thick he is around you while the tip of his cock prods right onto the spot you love the most. “At least you’re reminded of who’s making you feel this good.”

His words would be enough to send you over the edge and you craved for so much more. The pace of his thrusts began to escalate. He became rougher as well; the way he gripped your thighs, nails digging into your skin while he still held his weight over you. You proceeded to close your eyes, feeling your eyes roll back and your back arch closer against his.

“Look at me, _____.” Taehyung demands, gritting his teeth feeling his thrusts get much more rigid - rougher than it already was. When your eyes flutter open to meet his, you are met with his piercing gaze.

“Taehyung,” His name leaves your lips and it encouraged him to hasten his pace - if it was even possible. With quivering lips, you capture his in between yours and he moans into your mouth when you initiate by poking your tongue and licking inside his mouth.

“It’s good to hear you finally saying my name.” He erupts a guttural grunt. The timbre of his deep voice booms right into your ear when he begins to pepper harsh kisses upon your delicate skin.

“Oh, god,” Your hips were moving in sync with his. The sounds of your skin slapping against each other increased in volume and, suddenly, you were aware of the springs of his beaten mattress underneath the both of you. In addition to that, the frame of his bed seemed to bang in rhythm with each thrust Taehyung performed.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby.” The difference in nickname, without a doubt, caught you off-guard but it was enough to increase the pleasure at a tenfold. Trembling legs still managed to latch themselves around his waist. However, you feel his hot hand grasp onto your shin, propping it over his shoulder.

His length exits out of you momentarily. But the minute he slams right back into you, a blissful and strained squeal leaves your throat. With eyes wide open, the new angle was something you were not expecting. You surprised yourself at how flexible you seemed to be having your leg practically folded at an obscure angle, but somehow it ignited a different flame for the man on top of you.

“I can feel you squeezing me so tightly.” His thumb grazes over to your nub carefully, adding the much needed friction you sought.

“You’re so fucking hot and wet, darling.” The increased pressure against your nub and speedy and animalistic thrusts coaxed the coil set deep within you to snap at any second. “I can feel you; you want to cum so bad.”

You weren’t so sure how to respond so you begin to nod at once. “Please, Tae.” You pleaded in between blissful moans. “Please make me cum.”

How small your voice sounded beneath him ensued him to flip you over on your fours. Taehyung happened to be full of surprises when he grasps onto a handful of your hair, roughly prompting you to arch the upper half of your body much closer to him while he remained buried deep inside you. His other arm supported you as they slithered from your hip up to grasp firmly on one of your breasts.

His breathing was more erratic and harsh as his mouth is pressed onto your ear. “You like having my cock buried deep inside this tight pussy?”

A constrained grunt spewed from your bruised lips in response to his query. Satisfied to hear your response, the way he rammed his length inside your entrance was more resolute than before signaled that he was close to his climax as well.

A mortifying fear began crawling at the back of your mind realizing you won’t be able to see Taehyung directly when you both peak, so your fingers latch onto his hand, hoping that it would be enough to remind you it was Taehyung who is making you feel this way.

Not Yoongi.

Instinctively, your eyes search for something to distract you of your thoughts of Yoongi and at the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of his mirror just merely reflecting the image of two bodies intertwining themselves. Your hair completely disheveled while Taehyung’s hair mopped onto his forehead.

From the mirror, you see his mouth placing hot kisses at the back of your shoulder and you sighed in euphoria. He praised your body - every inch of it. When your irises land on your own figure, you did not recognize yourself. Mouth agape as a symphony of blissful sighs escape your mouth, bruised marks scattered on your neck to your chest and your hip.

Unexpectedly, the hand that had gripped onto your mane tightly was suddenly loose and Taehyung’s hands crept down in between your thighs to begin rubbing aggressive circles around your clit once again. The erotic sight of it of yourself with him had sent you over the edge a second time and the sensation plummeted over to your entire body. It trembled underneath Taehyung’s and you can’t help but fall back onto his as he continues his sloppy thrusts into you.

Thankfully, he manages to clutch onto your figure when he attempts to reach his own high. You’re still achieving your own orgasm, savoring the sensitivity of your swollen nub. After a succession of breathless squeals, you hear a sequence of curses so close to your ear and you feel the throbbing of his length empty his seed inside of you.

When you both recovered from your climax, the exhaustion settled upon both your worn bodies. You can feel the muscles that held onto you closely ache when you both inevitably fall on the tattered mattress. He still remained inside you, softening in the process while your entrance still managed to clench around his girth.

With his arms still slithered around your frame, he savored the fragrance of your freshly shampooed hair when his nose nuzzles at the top of your head. Both of your eyes fluttering close, you began to breathe peacefully. 

What catches you by surprise is the single tear that runs down your cheek.

But at that moment, the silence that filled the room wasn’t at all perplexing. 

Not even the kiss he peppers on your shoulder as he pulls you closer to his body - reassuring you that one way or another, you will be better.

↪ Continue on to chapter two!

[howrry]

swing for the fences

a/n: “i’m writing a 5/1 story!” five seconds later: here’s a piece that has nothing to do with that!! not even sorry, one direction never kept their promises so why should i ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ besides i like this work way more than the 5/1 tbh, so here’s a fwb piece i’ve had unfinished for weeks now, pls enjoy

w/c: 3.0k

warnings: smutsmutsmut bitch

***

Harry figured out he really liked Y/N while standing in line at a sandwich shop.

It was sudden and unceremonial, compared to the cute stories that go like "oh I fell in love with my husband when we stared deeply into each other's eyes" or "I realized I loved her when she helped me in my time of need" that you can find on Reddit. No, Harry had to have his epiphany while staring at sliced banana peppers.

While the young boy behind the counter was loading his sandwich into the toaster, Harry peered over the glass and thought about what veggies he wanted. Spinach and tomatoes, of course, maybe some jalapeños, and so on. He remembered that he'd be seeing his friend Y/N later that day and knew that if she saw his food, she'd want a bite. While he was an avid hater of the aforementioned banana peppers, they were Y/N's favorite, and he pondered over getting some so that she'd enjoy her bite out of his sandwich more.

You like her. The thought hit him like a train. Normally he wouldn't let anybody else so much as breathe towards his food, yet he was considering ruining his entire sandwich just so that Y/N could enjoy a single bite out of it. Because he liked her.

The realization knocked the wind out of him. When the employee asked what he wanted on his sub, he stumbled over his words and by the time he paid and left the store, he doesn't even remember if he got the damn peppers or not.

This was a problem. See, Harry and Y/N had a great thing going on—what one would call friends with benefits. They hung out together, saw movies, ate breakfast and other friendly activities by day, and by night he was guaranteed to be burying himself in her. No romance, no attachments, nothing. Perfect!

Except, well, not anymore. What was he going to do? The two of them had always prided themselves on being able to separate feelings from sex; sometimes you just needed to get your rocks off, and having that option always at arm's length was incredibly convenient. Now that he'd discovered he might have more feelings than he thought he did, there was no foreseeable way for this to be resolved without at least one of them getting hurt.

So he tried to ignore it.

***

Y/N knocked on his door later that day, despite having a key to his house and using it to let herself in. “Haz!” she called, and he emerged from the kitchen, wiping the avocado ranch from the corner of his mouth. He stiffened a bit when she gave him a chaste hug, but she didn’t seem to notice.

They went to the kitchen together, where she noted the remains of the sandwich on his table. “Thanks for getting me something, cuck,” she whined, gesturing towards his leftovers.

“You can have the rest, yeh big baby!” he said as if he hadn’t intended to give it to her the whole time.

She squealed in delight, taking a massive bite and then talking without swallowing first. “Hey, I love banana peppers! Thanks!”

“Don’t talk with your food in your mouth,” he chastised, ignoring her comment.

The remainder of the evening went like it normally would. They chatted about their days (Harry leaving out his big discovery, of course), started their journey catching up on Stranger Things, and ended up necking on his couch. When she ghosted her lips across his skin to go for a real kiss, though, he dove to avoid it and bit at her earlobe instead. He whispered that the two of them should go to his room and, as far as he knew, she didn’t even notice he’d avoided one of the simplest parts of sex.

When they didend up sleeping together, he tried to make it as distant and impersonal as possible. He didn’t attach his mouth to hers even once and skipped out on foreplay once he’d undressed her, merely checking if she was wet enough with his fingers (she was, always so damn pliant) before stuffing his cock into her from behind. He ended up having a below-average orgasm way too quickly and even felt guilty enough to work backwards and get her off with his hands.

Once they were done, she made a lighthearted joke about him being in a rush judging by the mediocre sex. Harry didn’t really react to this, and she was so uncomfortable she let herself out. She normally spent the night.

So there Harry was, lying in his cold bed by himself, arms tucked behind his head and staring at the ceiling. He felt awful. His new tactic clearly didn’t work and it’d unsettled the one girl he liked.

Time to switch game plans, he guessed.

***

That morning, the first thing he did was shoot Y/N an apologetic text saying he’d felt tired and wasn’t able to give a grade-A performance (even though, uh, hello, he was the one who initiated sex, but whatever). She forgave him instantly, which made his stomach knot. Why did she have to be so compassionate and forgiving? Why was she such a great person?

Throughout the next few weeks, he decided to change up his attitude in the bedroom. Being her friend wouldn’t change regardless of how he felt about her, so he acted the complete same from day to day, but things were different at night.

It was a complete 180 from what he'd tried before. He originally attempted to dodge kissing, now he pressed his lips to hers with a fervor that he hadn't felt in years. He used to like taking her from behind and pushing her head down into the pillows, now he was fucking her missionary, snaking an arm around the small of her back so that as much of her skin was against his as possible. Now he was letting her sit in his lap, his cock nestled in her and nails dragging down the soft skin of her back. Now he was going down on her for hours, licking and eating like she was an oasis in a desert. He used to pull out before he came and paint either her ass or her face, now he chose to finish inside of her, marking her as his from the inside. He fucked her, well, like he loved her.

Y/N didn't seem to catch onto this rollercoaster of changes that Harry was putting her through, or if she did, she didn't mention it. She was always good at matching his energy in the bedroom, no matter how rough or how tender (which didn’t bode well for his soft heart). It’d be one thing if she questioned this new behavior, but everything he gave her, she gave right back. Every burning kiss, every hair pull, every bite and thrust and moan was reciprocated—if not topped in intensity. Again, not so good for his already-growing feelings.

After one particularly long and hot-blooded round, Harry decided to ask how she really felt. He lay in bed, panting from his orgasm just moments before, when Y/N returned from a quick bathroom break. Now or never, he thought.

"Hey, Y/N?" he asked, voice cracking at the dehydration. He sat up in bed, sheets bunching up around his lap.

She waved a hand at him, picking up her pants and forcing her legs into them. "I know, I know, I'm leaving. I don't wanna run into your round two on my way out," she winked, continuing to pull her jeans up her thighs.

"No!" he blurted. Round two? What the hell was she talking about? Did she really think that he had someone elsecoming over after that mind-blowing, passionate sex? "What? No. I just—"

"I'm kidding, Harry," she deadpanned, stopping him. "But seriously, I do have to go. I'll catch you tomorrow?" The tail end of her sentence kicked up, even though both of them knew she'd be back. "Text you when I get home!" She slammed the door behind her, and Harry sat with his jaw in his lap.

He didn't even get a text.

***

Harry hated bars.

He didn’t even know why he went. Well, that was a lie. Any chance to spend time with Y/N he jumped on, even if it was with their mutual friends at a dingy club.

At this point in the evening, he was pretty sauced. He’d long since lost track of the whole friend group, and chose to relax at the bar where even the bartender lost track of how many pints he’d had in the evening.

He spotted her on the other side of the U-shaped bar, chatting up a strikingly attractive fella with loose blonde hair and beaming white teeth. You know, nothing like Harry.

He felt sick. There was no stated monogamy between them and she owed him no loyalty, but for the past few months they’d damn near spent every waking moment together. There wasn’t even any time for her to be with someone else. But now, everything was fair game and she was clearly taking the chance presented to her.

Fuck it. He downed what was left in his glass, threw enough money on the bar to cover his drinks and a tip, and marched over to the duo.

“Oh hi!” Y/N gushed when she made eye contact. “Caleb, this is my friend Harry. Harry, this is Caleb.”

So. His name was Caleb. Up close, he was even more immaculate. His skin was as clear as the sky, he had the bone structure of a sculpture, and despite his blonde hair, his eyelashes were thick and dark. His manners were clearly up to par as well, since he politely extended a hand and flashed a smile at Harry. When he merely stared down at his hand, Caleb awkwardly pulled back.

“Nice to meet you, Harry. Y/N was just telling me about her recent trip to the Grand Canyon. I can’t imagine hiking in that weather, you’re quite brave.” That last part was more directed at her, and the attention made her giggle.

“Actually, I went with her on that trip,” Harry noted, both of their gazes snapping to him. “The weather was quite pleasant given the time of year. We didn’t even mind the heat when we fucked in the tent two nights in.”

“What the fuck?” Y/N blurted. Her face turned bright red, showing through even under her makeup, and his comment even got the attention of nearby patrons. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered to a shocked Caleb before grabbing Harry’s hand and yanking him to the back hallway of the bar.

Once out of the range of the booming music, she stopped and attempted to push him against the brick wall behind him, failing due to his size. “Harry, you need tostop,” she reprimanded.

“Stop wha’?” he slurred, genuinely curious about what she meant. Stop drinking, stop feeling so sorry for himself, stop loving her?

“Stop making a scene. What’s the matterwith you?” Her arms folded over her chest, enhancing her rack in her dress but Harry was too far gone to appreciate it.

“I don’ like him,” he huffed.

“That’s ridiculous,” her eyes cut into slits. “You met him 45 seconds ago, and I don’t get uppity about your bitches!”

“Haven’t slept with someone else since you,” he confessed. “Haven’ even looked at anyone else the same since I first touched you,” he purred, taking a step towards her.

She stepped back, hitting the wall behind her. “What?”

Fuck it, he was drunk. He wouldn’t even remember this in the morning. “The second I put my hands on your body, and tasted you, and saw what you look like when I make you cum on my cock, I saw the whole world differently. Reckon I love yeh,” he finished his dirty secret with a nervous laugh, somewhat cutting the meaning of his words.

For a few moments of heavy silence, he thought she was going to reciprocate his admission. There was a tiny glint in her eyes that made him think she felt the same and he opened his mouth to dig himself deeper into his hole but she stopped him.

Something washed over her face and she suddenly looked very uncomfortable. Y/N pursed her lips and brought a hand up to awkwardly scratch at her elbow. “I shouldn’t have let you have that last beer.” It was a joke, obviously, since she hadn’t been around him since his first drink of the night, but he didn’t laugh. “Let’s get you a water and take you home so you can get some sleep.” Harry couldn’t even protest before she grabbed his arm and tugged him back through the bustling dance floor and out the front door. He never even got his water.

To say that Harry was devastated was the understatement of the millennia. He’d just poured his heart out to the girl who had occupied his every thought for the past few weeks and she breezed over it like it was nothing. He didn’t speak another word to her for the rest of the night, barring a dazed “thank you” when she helped him up the stairs in his home and got him into bed. Once he was relatively comfortable, she let herself out without saying anything.

Well, that was it. He shot his shot, swung for the fences, and missed. If a truth bomb like that wasn’t enough for Y/N, nothing would be. As he laid in bed, head swimming and the stationary fan seemingly spinning above him, he knew his relationship with her was over.

He had to drag himself out of bed and into the bathroom to throw up, and he knew full heartedly that it had nothing to do with the alcohol.

***

Harry had never been a “show up at a girl’s door” kind of guy, especially if he was about to break up with her. Or, whatever he was about to do. Can you break up with someone you never dated?

However, he knew this was something that had to be done in person. His stomach was in a painful knot from the moment he woke up and didn’t subside during the drive to her apartment nor while walking up to her door or rapping it with his knuckles. It especially didn’t get any better when she swung the door open and was clearly happy to see him, smiling bigger than the sun. Clearly, she was ready to forget about last night and move the fuck on.

She let him in and briefly apologized for still being in pajamas, blaming it on laundry day. “When I have a coherent outfit that’s clean, wanna go see the new Spider-man movie?” she asked, leading him to her living room.

Her question was so innocuous, his stomach got even worse. “Actually, there’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

This made her stop in her tracks, her bubbly persona fading away. He knew damn well she hated those kind of ominous sentences, that they gave her anxiety. “Is everything okay, H?”

He inhaled through his nose sharply, blinking to make sure he wasn't tearing up. "I think we need t'stop seeing each other. Like, even as friends." It came out in one breath, like if he didn't, he knows he would've stumbled over it.

To his shock, Y/N's face paled. "W-what? H... why?" she was starting to even tremble.

"I'm gettin' too fuckin' attached, okay?" he blurted. No going back now, he guessed. "Whatever's going on between us clearly means nothing to you and I can't keep pretending like I'm fine with it. I can’t keep acting like everything is okay when it’s not.

His explanation made her jaw pop open. "Wait, you were serious? When you confessed your feelings?"

Harry's head reared back. "What? Of course I was serious! Why wouldn't I have been?"

She shrugged, choosing to stare at the floor rather than make eye contact. "I don’t know. You were drunk, I-I thought it was some kind of ploy. You've been acting kind of weird lately and I didn't know what you were planning. I got scared so I tried to be more chill about... us."

He blinked. “Well, now yeh know. It wasn’t a ploy, or a drunken mistake. I’m serious when I say that I love yeh, and if yeh don’t feel the same way, tell me now so I can walk the fuck out.” His head dropped down to his folded hands, staring down at the cross tattoo.

Her face turned pink at his profanity. He very rarely swore around her except in the bedroom, so the severity of the situation weighed on her. “Of course I love you,” she admitted, just barely over a whisper.

His head snapped up. “What?”

“Harry, you’re one of the best guys I’ve ever met. You treat me so well, I don’t even understand it myself. I mean, you hatebanana peppers, for God’s sake!” She laughed, and Harry’s stomach unknotted for the first time in 48 hours.

“What?” he repeated, her confession not quite sinking in.

“Are you a broken record? I said I love you! Is that not what you want?”

“I—no, it is! I’m just in shock! I’ve been through a lot since last night, okay?”

She dropped down on the couch next to him and threw her arms around him, and he instinctively wrapped his hands around her biceps. “So, what now?” she asked, pulling away and looking at him with doe eyes.

“Well, you’re m’girlfriend now, I reckon,” he smirked. “Is that alright with you?”

“Yes! Of course, you dummy.” The seemingly unwaivering smile on her face was replaced with a mischievous look. “Now that we’re dating, you have to help me with stuff that you didn’t before.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What do y’mean?”

She stood up from the couch and grabbed his arm, dragging him down the hallway. “I have laundry to fold, and the faster it’s done, the sooner we can see Jake Gyllenhaal kicking Spider-man’s ass!”

And to be honest? He couldn’t complain, not one bit.

[bekahdoesnerdshit]

20, 27, 35, 40, 50, 59, 67, 88 for All Eight Characters (one each but if you wanna go Hog Fucking Wild feel free)

Alright so. I’m not going hog wild but! I decided to do two guys per question, one who was my first gut instinct for that question, and then one random character to spice things up! Do some character building in a direction I might not have thought to go, you know? 

Also bro this got so long so just. Putting it. Under a read more because I do respect your time and dashboard.

20. How would your character define love? Caspian: Love is when people stop to listen to you. When they smile when they see you, and sneak you an extra dessert when no one is looking. Love is being willing to bend the rules to make you happy, teaching you to hold your head up high even when you’re getting in trouble, and telling you to always look the world right in the eye when it wants you to back down. Love is giving up whatever you have to without a second thought for the other person’s sake, and knowing they would do the same for you. Love is taking the lessons they taught you, carrying them in your heart, swallowing your fear and setting out to bring them home. Ryker: Love is fleeting, and fickle, and fragile. Love is at best a luxury and more realistically a bargaining chip. It’s real, sure, but its primary use is to blind people to what’s hidden behind it. Some people may get lucky, but only a fool would bet on those odds. ...if you are lucky enough to find it, though, hold on tight. Real love, genuine, honest, reciprocated love, is worth doing anything for. The people you care about should know how you feel by what you do, not by what you say. Show love with discretion, but show it fiercely. 

27. How much have they given up to get to where they are in life, willingly or unwillingly? How much do they think they would give up to get to where they want to be, in the future? Raini: Raini I think is super interesting because I think she’s given up a fair bit, and she’s completely fine with the sacrifices she did make because she decided the benefits outweighed whatever she had to give up to get it. But on the other hand, giving something up unwillingly? Having something taken from her? Absolutely a cause for retribution at any cost. idk if I’m explaining the difference in a way that makes sense, but that distinction means the world to Raini because, even if the sacrifice is hard to swallow, at least she was in control of it. And like, the whole premise of the campaign is giving up shit! Giving up everything! And was it willing at the time? Yes! But coming out on the other side of it and not remembering making the decision and, quite frankly, not agreeing with the decision you made is rough! You’re yourself, you know because you’re you, but you’re also not yourself because that’s the whole point of what you did, so did you really do this? Was it someone else in a body you now inhabit? What happens to this new you when you regain your old memories, because there’s no way in hell you don’t at least try to get them back? It’s a lot to think about!! And that, and the core of this question, is why Raini doesn’t let this end without a Wish to restore the memory of whoever wants it. I don’t think she sees erasing them the first time as a decision “she” necessarily made -although whether that’s a philosophical issue or one of diverting guilt is open for debate- so she wants to reclaim what she sees as having been taken from her unwillingly. Pip: Tbh, the plot and premise of Strahd aside, Pip has lived a pretty charmed life. He fucked up plenty, but he always seemed to manage to stumble his way into where he needed to be when he needed to be there. Honestly, even within the module things didn’t go too badly for him! He lost a good friend at one point, and nearly died in that same fight, but other than that he fared pretty well. The biggest thing he’s given up in his life was his place in his home village, but honestly it’s like 50/50 on whether that was willingly or unwillingly. Like, he feels bad about the accidental arson? But also. It kinda kicks ass that he did then just like. Leave and it was fine. With his campaign over, I don’t really have much in the way of future goals for him! He’s just. He’s just fucking vibing. You know? So! Seems like he’s getting out of giving up anything in the future.

35. What is their most prized possession? If they have one that is. Ryker: For sure have talked about this before: it’s his hammers. He has two enormous hammers that he fights with, named Last Chance and Misery’s End. They’re sturdy orc made weapons with their names hammered into the side of each head in orc, that have been passed down from clan leader to clan leader for generations. They hit well, they don’t do much else, but when you’re regularly shattering knees, ribs, and skulls, what else do you need them to do? They’re sturdy, practical weapons. Reliable, and they remind him of home. He’s more comfortable putting his life in their hands than anything -or anyone- else’s. Brilliance: Her armor! For several reasons: 1. She paid extra to have it enchanted so that it repels dirt and blood and grime. After crawling through cult sewers to clear out some nasty boys, Brilliance decided that never again was she going to spend her short rest having to wipe blood or shit off her nice armor. When she upgraded to splint mail, she absolutely forked out that Armor of Gleaming enchantment. 2. Her shield specifically was decorated by her fiancee! Sienna likes to paint, and when Brilliance first got her shield for guard duty at the church Sienna took it upon herself to get out her paints and paint on a wreaths of vines and roses and birds and other lovely things, so that her love could always have a piece of her with her 💖

40. Do people expect a lot from your character or look up to them for something? Why or why not? Ayen: Unfortunately, Ayen is baybe. And even though she hasn’t outright told anyone how old she is, it’s becoming rapidly apparent that. Hey? They might have figured it out. It’s literally inconceivable how they could have pieced it together though?? I mean, how does anything about her not read as completely mature and put together elf woman thank you I’m an elf??  So, no. I don’t think anyone looks up to her. And that’s okay!! Yes she is a young adult with her own set of skills and her own value to add to the world and the people around her, but she would not thrive in a position of leadership like she thinks she would. She needs time to mellow out and settle down, and to learn how to make decisions quickly and responsibly. I think, one day, she’ll be able to show a lot of people how to do a lot of good. For now, though, she’s happy trotting along after Dad and rowing her and her new friend around in circles in a row boat, just because it’s fun to mess around sometimes. Auriga: Interesting question! Interesting question. I think in the collective sense, as part of the Court of Stars, definitely yes. They’re the rulers! They guide their people through the knowledge and wisdom accumulated over the course of millennia! I think Auriga specifically even is seen as having a closer connection to this wealth of knowledge, being a cleric and all. But I am toying with the thought that outside of the context of the council and the court, the people that make it up don’t have as much weight? There’s still respect of course! But while one star shining on its own is all well and good, without the context of those around it how are you meant to learn from what it has to say to you? Auriga understands this, it’s just part of their culture, and he’s in no way troubled by it. It’s the way things are meant to be, and so they will continue to be until it is clear that something needs to change! 

50. What’s their earliest memory? Auriga: Now full warning this is going to be a lot less detailed than Cog’s is just because I know him less, but I think Auriga earliest memory is something sweet and warm like. Sitting in one of his older sibling’s laps (while he’s the Baby of the family!) and just. Dozing against their chest while the rest of them sit in front of a roaring fire and just talk. He doesn’t remember a word of what was said, he just remembers being little and held and loved. Their family mostly interacts in the council room, I think, because when things get busy with ruling it’s so easy to just fall into work and let family time fall by the wayside. But when things get stressful, when he realizes he hasn’t interacted with his brothers or sisters outside their meetings in a while, I think this is one of the memories that comes to mind and encourages him to set aside whatever he’s reading and go off to be intentional about spending time with his brothers and sisters :) Cog: One of her earliest memories was when her magic first manifested! She was maybe six or seven, and Mama was busy at church and Daddy had gone out to check on some of the folks that lived a bit further out from town, and baby Cog was bored to tears. She knew she wasn’t supposed to leave home alone!! But there were some Cool Older Kids she wanted to impress, and they were going to sneak out and explore the swamp. They were big kids! They were like thirteen! Surely, nothing bad could happen if there were big kids with her! So she followed them out of town, and by the time they noticed their tag-along it would have been Way too much work to take her back home. Whatever. It’s fine. They start poking around the edge of the swamp, looking at weird fish and bugs and poking at mushrooms or whatever kind of shit grows in swamps. Probably getting eaten alive by mosquitos.  Well! Cog is having a grand old time playing with frogs and cattails, and she’d wandered off from the teenagers she was supposed to be staying with. She was up to her calves in the brackish water trying to recapture a frog that escaped her when she looked up to see a long, thin shape darting through the water straight for her. It was a cottonmouth, mutated by the Wasteland and nearly as big as she is. It hissed as it closed the distance between them, mouth open wide as it readied itself to lunge and sink its fangs into her. Cog screamed and threw her arms up to protect herself-  And then there was a burn of something wild and unfamiliar in her chest, a warm hand on her shoulder, and a flash of light so blinding that people swore later they could see it from town. Cog stood there for a moment, frozen and trembling, but when she gathered the courage to open her eyes everything within five feet of her was scorched clean, and the corpse of the snake that had charged her was bobbing, almost completely unrecognizable, in the water in front of her. Mama was furious with her when they made it back home, of course, but after hearing what happened? After hearing that Cog had finally managed to channel a spell, some rudimentary form of Word of Radiance? Well, there were much, much more pressing things to worry about, all of a sudden.

59. Have they ever had an encounter with someone that changed their whole life? Cog: HA Morgan opened up a can of “Talk About Ace” SOUP and folks it’s fucking lunchtime. Drink up assholes!!! I know I’ve talked about this a hundred times but I’ll never be sick of it: they’re JUST such good friends and they’ve been so so good for each other. Before they met, Cog was in a place in her life where she felt trapped and perpetually anxious, and Ace was restless and angry at the world. Neither of them felt like they could measure up to the expectations other people had for them, and Cog had turned that worry self-destructively inward while Ace had turned it outward. Ace’s straining at his leash brought him to Lafaroh, and Cog’s -at the time, Charlotte’s- soft heart had her defying direct orders to slip up to this stranger and warn him that he needed to leave before he got hurt. And Ace looked at Charlotte, at the genuine worry on her face for someone she’d only just met. And he looked at the town around them, at the way the people who passed by looked at him and how that look shifted from suspicion to shock and outrage when they saw Charlotte with him. And he did some math, and he realized whatever the hell was going on in this podunk town was a thousand times more interesting than anything that would ever happen back in New Alexandria proper. So of course, he settles in to pry. Charlotte, bless her, has many, many strengths; reading into people’s intent is not one of them. So when Ace starts asking questions, she’s happy to answer to impress upon him how important it is that he goes home! And the more she talks, the easier it is to just... keep talking? This man, this stranger from the Academy, is talking to her, listening to her like nobody ever has. And more than that, he actually seems to care! He has no reason to care that she’s worried she won’t be able to step up the way she knows her mom wants her to, but he’s clearly concerned and invested in her story. And even though she’s trying to keep things vague, she’s never been very good at deceiving people. Pieces start to fall in place, Charlotte lets more slip than she means to, and by the time they’ve been talking for an hour or so Ace has a pretty good picture of what’s going on here. It’s not safe here, not for him and certainly not for her, so he doesn’t even stop to consider whether it’s an offer he can make when he holds out his hand, both literally and figuratively, and tells her he can take her back to the Academy with him. And to Charlotte, who less than an hour ago had been weighing her odds of surviving the Wasteland alone if she ran away on her own, the door this man just opened to her? The way he’s reaching back through it to offer her a hand, to pull her through to a better, safer life? How can she say no?  They fought their way out of Lafaroh that day. Charlotte almost certainly wanted to try to slip out unnoticed, but they’d already attracted too much attention by letting townspeople see them talking. Charlotte goes home to quickly pack, and she doesn’t come back out of the house. Ace waits, and the sun starts to set, and she still hasn’t come back out. Something isn’t right. He knocks on the door: there’s no answer. He knocks again, louder. Then again. Finally, an angry looking man opens the door and starts to tell Ace to get lost, but there’s clear sounds of arguing inside coming from just out of view of the doorway. The man is big, but Ace is fast enough to duck inside and around the corner in time to see Charlotte struggling to get around a woman who looks strikingly like her in order to make a break down the stairs and toward the door. The next several seconds are messy and disjointed; no one expects someone in high level caster robes to take the staff off their back and start attacking with it, but the next thing Charlotte knows Ace has her hastily packed bag slung over one shoulder, has planted her firmly behind himself, and is holding her hand with one of his own while he levels his staff at her parents with the other. His voice is calm but hard as he explains that they’re leaving, because Charlotte made it clear that she isn’t safe or happy here. If they try to stop them, Ace can and will bring the full force of New Alexandria’s wrath down on their tiny, shitty town. He’s going to take Charlotte away, find her a place in the Academy, and they’re not going to say a word. And so they leave! With all of Lafaroh absolutely seething behind them, with Charlotte gripping Ace’s hand as tight as she can and willing her own not to shake, they set out together into the Wasteland and, ultimately, to New Alexandria.  I have Such a vivid mental image of the two of them camping out in the Wasteland the night before they made it back to New Alexandria, with the lights of the city just peeking over the horizon in front of them. They’re eating dinner over a fire Ace made Such a show of lighting with magic instead of the tinderbox one of them definitely had, and they’re talking about names Charlotte could use in New Alexandria because she’d quietly admitted earlier that day that the name “Charlotte” has so much baggage that she doesn’t want to carry anymore. And Ace, while he is trying to help, is also a dork. He’s throwing out every name that pops into his head, good or not, trying to see if he can get her to laugh at one of them. They spend a few minutes talking, Ace muses aloud over “Charlotte Olivia Grace” a few times, looking for some cute nickname he can pull out of a name like that. And then he pauses, and sits up, and looks at Charlotte, and nods. The suggestion that she go by “Cog” makes her laugh, but that’s a good thing. Ace is grinning too because some dumb shit he said finally got a smile of out Charlotte for the first time since they left her shithole town. She’s sort of laughing in spite of herself, and it eases some of the heaviness that’s been hanging over them the last few days, but after considering it for a moment? She loves it. Taking the name she was given, and making it her own in a way she knows her parents would hate? It feels good! She’s grinning ear to ear when she turns to Ace and nods in agreement. “Cog” it is. “Charlotte” dies in the Wasteland that night; Cog enrolls in the Academy the next day. In Cog’s eyes, Ace’s intervention literally saved her life. She went from being a scared little girl in the middle of nowhere with no future beyond the ramshackle walls of her small town, to an incredibly promising up and coming student of the Academy. She went from being told that the only use her magic had was what it could do for the Church, to blowing away professors who expected her to barely be able to manage a cantrip and being praised for her intuitive understanding of magic. And for Ace! Cog was the first person his actions truly, directly helped. He saw a problem, he stepped in, he fixed in. In a slow moving, insular city like New Alexandria, that wasn’t something he’d been able to do before. He saw how the good he’d done in helping Cog reflected and redoubled in the way she treated the people around her, and saw her making the choice to be kind not in spite of but because of everything she’d been through growing up. Bro like Ace’s character bio says “self-appointed big bro to Cog” and “he sent a letter to Cog thanking her for being a positive influence in his life”. This question got SO out of control as I wrote my Cog and Ace fanfic but! They deserve it! AND the party is going back to New Alexandria next session, so!! More Ace content soon folks stay tuned! Raini: Did you think I ran out of soup?? Did you think lunchtime was over? FUCK you! This is MY blog and I’ll wax poetic about my dnd characters and their friendships for as LONG as I want to! And there’s nothing you can do to stop me!!!!! Now this one in fairness probably won’t be as long as Cog’s was, just because I know that all the people who follow me are like. Actively in the campaign and various group chats where we discuss how important our characters are to each other. But do NOT make the mistake of assuming it’s because I love you any less. I love you so much. Yes homo. Where do we start? At the beginning, with our lizard. Y’all ever uh. Y’all ever met a dipshit lizard who you’re pretty sure you can trick into taking you adventuring but plan to ditch the second they become deadweight (i.e. whenever they go down for the first time, probably), except then you became like best friends and siblings by all but blood and you realize you’d rip the world in half for them without them even asking and you can’t even begin to imagine how you’d reconcile the hole they’d leave in your life if they left it? Have you ever slowly realized that you’re adding “except for him” at the end of every generally grumpy statement you make about the world? And then realized even more slowly after years of friendship that somehow the bastard managed to extend “except for him” to “except for them”, and you’re so much less disengaged from and disinterested in the world around you? Y’all ever had that happen to you?? Shit’s wild. And then. Y’all ever met a fucking cop who clearly has, like. An actual metric ton of baggage she’s refusing to even glance in the direction of? And at first, it’s a pain to have to circumvent her “morals” in order to get shit done. Honestly, it’s kind of always a pain. But even your crotchety ass has to admit there’s something about sticking so firmly to your guns regardless of the situation you’re put in that’s admirable, that the world would be a much better place if more people had that same iron will and a refusal to be moved. Even if they’re standing up for stupid shit, at least they’re standing up for something. And maybe you take some of that resolve and tuck it away in your chest, to give you something to grip onto when you need to dig in your heels and refuse to let the world knock you around. And then. Y’all ever met a druid who burns with an anger you, honestly, kind of understand? Who wants to be more than the world wants her to be so badly, in a way that you definitely understand? Have you ever gotten to watch over the course of weeks and months as she time and again made the choice to take that anger and that drive and point it at things that would hurt the people she cares about? By god, she’s leaving her mark on the world, and she’s doing that by burning the shit out of it. But, without fail, there’s always a circle of uncharred, untouched ground around each and every party member. And when you notice this pattern, you can’t stop yourself from noticing it again, and again. And you learn: sometimes, you’re angry at the world. Sometimes! You’re angry at your party members! But that anger points outward. Always, and unequivocally. You have your friends’ backs, even if you’re furious with them. And then you meet a fish and you learn that sometimes things just need to be hit a lot of time in a row, really hard, with a big fucking hammer.  Okay but you meet this fish who, somehow, despite being monotone and weird and a fish and clearly an outsider to like. Land culture? Which you guess is a thing, apparently. Despite all of that, they have an emotional intelligence that’s off the fucking charts. And quite frankly! For a long time, it makes you really, really uncomfortable! If you don’t tell somebody how you’re feeling, and you don’t, then they shouldn’t be able to figure it out. But, slowly, you start to see the value of it. Your lizard is upset about something, and they won’t tell you what, but you’re able to squint at them and slowly figure it out so you can fix it. A few days later a joke a party member makes rubs you the wrong way, and you swallow your pride enough to admit it and they just. Apologize? Just like that? They promise not to say it again? And fish expressions are so hard to read, but you can just Tell that they’re over there looking smug, the bastard. But while you’re definitely not ready to commit to this being a daily thing you can, begrudgingly, admit that you can see the benefits of “communicating” with the people around you. 

67. What was the most acidic remark your character’s ever given to someone? And their reaction? Brilliance: In like our third session, our warlock had disguised himself as a “beautiful woman” in order to flirt with the guy we were there to talk to to get information out of him (Note: They did not ask Brilliance, at any point, if she was willing to flirt with him instead. She would not have been, but they could have at least asked). So Brilliance was hanging out at the bar near this dude’s private booth while the warlock chatted him up, and when the warlock got up to leave the dude reached out to try and grab her arm. He missed, but Brilliance was on his ass in a second with her sword out like “If you had grabbed her hand, you would have lost your own. She’s not interested in you; let her leave.” He thought it was funny and kept calling Brilliance “sweetheart”, but I did get to put my sword through his gut before the end of the night SO. Who’s the real winner? Ayen: I rolled Ayen for this one and I want to respect that and not cop out, but I don’t think it’s super in her nature to snark at people. She’s just gonna tell you like straight up that you’re a dickhead, and that’s that. I think the only time we might get to snarking is if someone (Dad, a party member, etc.) said “leave it alone” and Ayen is Not Done. She might send some parting shots over her shoulder then, like a “You’re lucky I like this guy so much, or we wouldn’t be done here” or “Show your face again when my dad’s not around, if you’ve got the balls.”

88. Assuming they aren’t one already would your character prefer to be a Vampire, a Werewolf, or a Demon? Pip: Potentially a cop out! However. A little..... vampire frog? Hello Mr. Strahd. Are we friends now? Could be a vampire! We have seen that vampires are cool and hot and powerful if perhaps a little amoral but that’s okay, because they’re cool and powerful.  Caspian: I literally spent fucking forever looking at this because. She literally worships and derives her Sun Soul monk shit from Pelor, the god of the sun. So like! How the fuck you gonna be a vampire or a werewolf with that going on. Dude hates the undead too, so vampire struck out twice. Demon’s iffy too, because it very much goes against the whole “good aligned” thing she has going on. So I guess?? Werewolf is the least offensive?? She’ll just pray and hope Pelor is like. Cool. With it. Haha? Also objectively, a werewolf that worships the god of the sun is VERY funny so there is that.

[dabistits]

so you’d rather the mla stick around as a sore thumb and the lov to stay broke and weak than for both to join forces, creating a definitive resolution to the my villain aca arc and consolidated threat for the heros? are you so against it being settled by a fight that you’d rather it be dragged out?

my feelings about the resolution to the mla arc are honestly mostly negative. i don’t feel like it makes sense for either side join forces (unless they plan on backstabbing each other, or unless hori is deliberately introducing a regression for the lov, which are all possibilities but lets take the resolution at face-value for the sake of this discussion). it’s been laid out since overhaul’s arc that the lov are tight-knit and value one another as comrades. even if you excise tomura out of the equation for his questionable/nebulous attitude towards relationships, twice and toga are very explicitly characterized as protective, and vengeful toward people who hurt one of “their own.” but at the end of the mla arc, they’re inducted into this organization which not only tortured and held giran for weeks, but also has no second thoughts about using their own members as canon fodder—which is, again, almost exactly what the shie hassaikai were like! if hori were going to have them collab with a shie hassaikai-ish organization later on, then why even bother drawing a comparison between shigaraki & the lov and overhaul & the yakuza?

on the mla’s side, their reasons for capitulating (at least as internally narrated by redestro during his defeat) are completely bs. the mla’s vision wasn’t just a nebulous conception of “freedom”; they had a specific vision of what that freedom looked like. they were a group who planned to rebel for the legalization of indiscriminate quirk use (defined as “freedom”), which is a specific, targeted, and limited goal; no amount of marveling at decay indicates that the logical progression is to embrace shigaraki’s desire for indiscriminate destruction. for a group of people who have largely benefited from the overall structure of society (they’re fucking ceos with some top heroes on call and shit ffs), it makes very little sense for them to buy into the utter unpredictability of shigaraki’s agenda just because he put on a very compelling live performance piece by curbstomping redestro. having two different visions of the future really isn’t a narrative conflict that should be solved by a physical fight, or at least not a straightforward a fight as this one.

like, i know it’s the Way of Shounen to have most things settled by a fight as an easy shorthand for interpersonal development. maybe the L is on me for feeling like the conflict could’ve been handled more satisfactorily & for ideology to actually interact in meaningful ways (even if it leads to one side renouncing theirs) rather than for the resolution to be a metaphorical dick slinging contest. sure, it’s true that it does all those things you said (consolidate a base for the villains, become a real threat, etc. etc.). it’s true that it moves things along, and i’m not against that. BUT i think that making these two particular villain groups ally with each other makes both of their characterizations worse: the lov bcs they’re turning back on earlier characterization from the overhaul arc, and the mla bcs it feels like they can’t fucking stick to a conviction. this wouldn’t be such a big problem if the mla were written differently from the start or, yes, if hori took more time to tell me why the fuck these guys aren’t still trying to kill each other, because tbh nothing about these two groups tell me that joining together is the logical conclusion.