#I don’t want choni to get back together I want Cheryl to become obsessed with Veronica

[rivercule]

The cheronica kiss was everything to me. The way Veronica got so into it even though she didn’t have to. The way Cheryl seemed stunned by the sheer power of it. The insane justification for why they had to kiss. Veronica shooting Cheryl in the heart immediately after.

“It’s not queerbaiting it’s saving the world” indeed

[alexzalben]

hi alex (fun question i think) - what is your favourite thing about each rvd ship dynmanic? i mean choni, falice, barchie, varchie, bughead mainly, but include anything else you like!

Oh, interesting. I feel like I’m going to fall into some several traps with this one, but here we goooooo!

Choni - Support. They will have each other’s backs no matter what, to the point of insanity sometimes (because Riverdale), but they will always be there for each other no matter what. No outside force could ever break them apart because Cheryl is there for Toni; and Toni for Cheryl. Ride or die, forever.

Falice - Epic. Their love story, more than any other couple on the show by default of age, is epic. We’ve been shown decades of FP and Alice being torn apart by either outside circumstances, or their own faults; only to come back to each other, time and again.

Barchie - Destiny. I know I’m gonna get s**t for saying this, but this is what we were told back in the first episode, and the show keeps looping back to it. It’s something that feels inevitable, and there’s a thrill to that. Whether it lasts or not is another question entirely, and whether it’s good or not, also not a question to answer here since we’ve never really seen Barchie in action. I’m just saying that idea is always exciting.

Varchie - Passion. I know some fans don’t love focusing on this aspect of Varchie, but that’s often what they are for each other. They’re two characters who run hot, and it becomes fire when they’re together. Sometimes it becomes too much, and I get that. But they definitely burn bright.

Bughead - Respect. At their best, Bughead is a couple with an even power dynamic, one who has two people who respect each other intellectually, and make each other better - and they know it. Betty tends towards darkness. Jughead can spin out of control and become obsessed in the minutiae. Together, they are a force to be reckoned with, calling each other out on their bulls**t and understanding it, internalizing it, and then moving past it to defeat evil wherever it lurks.

...and I want to be clear, these are not the only characteristics of their relationships: just because I said Varchie is passionate does not mean no other couple is passionate. Because I used “support” for Choni doesn’t mean that having a powerful LGBTQ+ couple on TV is second tier for them, for example. These are just one of the many core values of each couple mentioned that I think are particularly laudable.

Sigh.

I’m going to have to delete my Tumblr after this, aren’t I.

[charminglatina]

Riverdale Couples and Ships as Romantic Tropes (Part II). 🌹

Here is Part II of the list!

#11. Bughead (Jughead Jones & Betty Cooper; ROMANTIC TROPE: CHILDHOOD FRIENDS ROMANCE)

Childhood Friend Romance

Childhood Friend Romance is a part of romantic plots, when characters develop romantic feelings for someone who they spent their childhood years with. Often the pair will see each other as Just Friends (and may even deny accusations that they might have a different type of relationship); then, when puberty hits or when they meet again after being apart for some time, they will realize that the other is all grown up. If the pair goes through a Puppy Love phase from the very beginning, a Childhood Marriage Promise may be involved. Resistance to see a childhood friend as a potential romantic partner is known as the "Westermarck effect", a theory that claims that people who grew up together before the age of 6 are likely to become hardwired to think about each other Like Brother and Sister, with a Stupid Sexy Friend squicked reaction to the notion of romance. (Other studies question this on the basis that though few of the people they examined had major romantic relationships with childhood friends, many had crushes and romantic feelings that just didn't make it.) Subtrope of Childhood Friends. See also Patient Childhood Love Interest, a subtrope common in Harem Series. Compare also with High-School Sweethearts. Often benefits from First Girl Wins.

#10. Veggie (Reggie Mantle & Veronica Lodge; ROMANTIC TROPE: SLAP-SLAP-KISS)

Slap-Slap-Kiss

"[Punches Hiccup on the arm] That was for kidnapping me. [Kisses him on the cheek] That was for everything else."— Astrid, How to Train Your Dragon

This trope is nothing but universal in romantic stories. It frequently brings to a close the Will They or Won't They? phase of a Romance Arc. When a male and female character spend a lot of time bickering, it is all but inevitable that sooner or later he will interrupt her in mid-rant by suddenly grabbing her and kissing her. (Less frequently, she grabs and kisses him.) The kissed one rarely resists, and usually responds wholeheartedly. Usually this is triggered by their hostilities reaching a climax that results in an exchange of slaps, followed by a moment where both stare at each other in combined confusion and shock, after which they dive into the kiss. Either way, the kiss prompts both to realize that they've been in love all this time — the rationale being that they wouldn't argue so much if they didn't give a damn about each other. Normally results in some kind of permanent change in their relationship. The concept is related to the theory that hate is not necessarily the opposite of love so much as its twisted twin; its opposite would be apathy. Ergo, lots of contained emotion towards a person might be translated into lust given the proper catalyst. Pulled off successfully, it can be... quite satisfying. Otherwise, not so much. This trope is a major factor in Foe Yay shipping, since such arguments between those characters in the actual shows are often similar to examples of this trope (or even get Why Don't You Marry It? reactions). It should be noted that in Real Life it's not exactly a sign of a healthy relationship, with the exception of a little roleplay between consenting adults. Note that this trope is mostly Exactly What It Says on the Tin. If there is no kiss, that's Belligerent Sexual Tension. Dating back at least to William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. Compare "Shut Up" Kiss, Love at First Punch, Belligerent Sexual Tension, "Take That!" Kiss, Vitriolic Best Buds, and Destructo-Nookie. Often considered in similar terms to Foe Yay. Tsunderes are often involved on at least one end. Kiss-Kiss-Slap is this in reverse (kissing, then fighting).

#09. Jarchie (Archie Andrews & Jughead Jones; ROMANTIC TROPE: HO YAY)

HoYay

Homoeroticism, yay! Those moments of plot, dialogue, acting, etc., that fans delight in interpreting as homoerotic. It probably originates from the old days, when the homosexuality taboo was serious enough that every gay pairing was considered a Crack Pairing, so when authors wrote same-sex characters as very intimate with each other, audiences largely accepted that they are just very good friends, and moved on, or when authors wrote outright references to homosexuality, most just laughed at the sheer absurdity of the thought. With the gradual dissolution of homophobic moral codes, more and more writers have been able to publish and share their work uncensored, changing media forever. Nowadays, Yaoi Fans and Yuri Fans willingly interpret any interaction as potentially gay, for characters without canonical orientations and even for those specifically stated by their creators to be straight (in which case the author may be very annoyed by the fans' insistence otherwise). Cultural differences also have their say here. The level of accepted physical intimacy between close friends and adult relatives is hardly constant across various eras and nationalities, so, for example, the hugs and kisses which seemed mundane for an antiquated reader may appear blatantly erotic in the eyes of a contemporary one. In particular, the concept of Romantic Two-Girl Friendship — and Romantic Two-Guy Friendship — highly intimate yet platonic, only began falling out of use in the latter half of the 19th century. When this is done intentionally, it's Homoerotic Subtext, or possibly Implied Love Interest or Ship Tease. In the related trope called Foe Yay, even rivals or mortal enemies can get this treatment by fans and writers alike, especially if they have a more friendly past together, or one is inordinately obsessed with the other. In Fan Fic, this is the direct cause of many a Slash Fic.

#08. Choni (Cheryl Blossom & Toni Topaz; ROMANTIC TROPE: OPPOSITES ATTRACT)

Opposites Attract

"Strange extremes meet in love's pathway."—The Scarlet Pimpernel

Strong relationships, in both TV and real life, thrive on how each member compensates for the other’s weaknesses with their own strengths, and vice versa. A Motor Mouth just isn’t as funny if he doesn’t have the Straight Man to torment. Similarly, only when a sweet, shy person is paired up with an equally jerkish one is their kindness and shyness made all the more noticeable. It is all but guaranteed that the characters’ differences will cause more friction than harmony between them. That’s what gives the Odd Couple its fuel for Slap-Slap-Kiss, Will They or Won't They?, and Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other situations. Bickering and mushiness in one package. What’s not to like? The Odd Friendship also has elements of this, but tends to focus on how the differences make them see each other, and maybe the world, through new eyes. Perhaps the serious one is Not So Above It All, or the Shrinking Violet has an inner strength they never knew they had. A Moe Couplet also does something similar to this, focusing on how each half of the couplet brings out the other's endearing or nurturing traits. Opposites attract has become so widespread in buddy cop shows, in the form of Serious White Guy meets Loud Black Guy, that it branched off into its own subtrope. About the biggest challenge in creating a day-and-night dynamic is to keep the attract and repel cases relatively balanced. When the pendulum swings too far toward the repel side and the characters seem more interested in torturing each other than helping out, it’s no longer cute to watch; it’s just masochistic. The key (both in fiction and in Real Life) is to watch the pair's goals. If they want the same thing but use completely different methods to achieve it, it's this trope. If they want different things entirely, it's a divorce waiting to happen. If you add a third-party mediator for balance, you get a Power Trio. Contrast Birds of a Feather. Compare Too Much Alike.

#07. Cheronica (Cheryl Blossom & Veronica Lodge; ROMANTIC TROPE: VILLAINOUS CRUSH)

Villainous Crush

"Just fear me. Love me. Do as I say, and I shall be your slave."— Jareth the Goblin King to Sarah, Labyrinth

This trope applies whenever a villainous character has romantic and/or sexual feelings for a heroic one. If this crush takes a turn for the perverse (and most such crushes tend towards this), this can lead to tropes like I Have You Now, My Pretty, Forceful Kiss, Bathe Her and Bring Her to Me, And Now You Must Marry Me, Scarpia Ultimatum, and Go-Go Enslavement where the villain tries to force their desires upon the character, although none of those require a Villainous Crush. Additionally, the villain may become a Stalker with a Crush. If the crush itself is a motivating factor in their Start of Darkness, then it's Love Makes You Evil. This trope isn't always negative, though. This trope can conversely be a very humanising trait for an Anti-Villain. The heroic character may become a Morality Pet, and can be fairly certain that their villainous admirer will never harm them or allow harm to come to them, barring certain exceptions. They may even step in to protect them from other villains who have fewer compunctions. Taken all the way, it may become Love Redeems. If the feelings are mutual or an actual relationship develops, then it's Dating Catwoman instead. When this is purely subtextual, see Foe Romance Subtext. The specific variant when the Evil Empress captures the hero to seduce him is Villainesses Want Heroes. Not to be confused with Foe Yay, which are purely audience reactions.

#06. Archosie (Archie Andrews & Josie McCoy; ROMANTIC TROPE: BIRDS OF A FEATHER)

Birds Of A Feather

Grace: My mum always said opposites attract. Rich: That's magnets. We're people.—Skins

Relationships, particularly romantic ones, tend to thrive when the people involved are similar. People are simply more likely to get along if they share common interests, values, beliefs, and goals. Thus people with similar personalities will often flow together easily, whether romantically or not. The dynamic of this pair differs widely from Opposites Attract pair. Their personalities can often be interchangeable and both of them can have a same role if they are a part of a group. However, their common obstacle is having a harder time to compensate for each other's weaknesses. Be warned, writers: while often Truth in Television, this trope can sometimes be seen to create a poorly written Love Interest who just happens to be a Gender Flip of the main character. When the commonalities are much fewer but still create a bond, see Commonality Connection. Contrast Too Much Alike.

#05. Beronica (Veronica Lodge & Betty Cooper; ROMANTIC TROPE: ROMANTIC TWO-GIRL FRIENDSHIP)

Romantic Two-Girl Friendship

"It was perfectly acceptable at Baker & Inglis to get a crush on a fellow classmate. At a girls school a certain amount of emotional energy, normally expended on boys, gets redirected into friendships."—Middlesex

At the beginning of adolescence, there is a time when friendship is emphasized, usually junior high/middle school. These friendships can have very strong emotional bonds, and, when two girls develop a close bond, it will almost appear to be a romance. They hold hands. Getting together to do something is a "date." Fights are treated as a "break-up." They're willing to sleep next to each other in the same bed (and maybe even cuddle). They're also sometimes capable of moving and speaking in perfect unison. They may not actually be in a romantic relationship, but it is emphasized in such a way that if they were, you'd assume it'd look this way. In the Western world, this was far more common up until the late 1800s, and applied to both men and women, even into adulthood. It was referred to as "romantic friendship." This practice waned at the turn of the 20th century as adults, particularly men, did not want to be mistaken as homosexual. Note Generally, it still only occurs between young girls, where it is more socially acceptable and not indicative of sexual orientation. In Japan, this is known as "Class S" and is far more common than in the West. Due to the influence of Western female literature,Note the Japanese developed a belief that young girls are expected to have friendships with each other that emulate boyfriend���girlfriend relationships. This is considered a temporary but wonderful part of adolescence, which they can later "graduate" from to "real" relationships with boys. To remain in a "Class S" relationship past middle school is seen as a sign of immaturity, although it is expected that these friendships will continue into adulthood without the romantic elements. The possibility of one or more of the girls involved in a "Class S" relationship being truly invested in the other romantically is usually ignored. If the romance starts to become too passionate, parents may try to intervene to separate the girls. This should never become physical that way; it would "corrupt" the Incorruptible Pure Pureness, which is then traded in for marriage. If the girls do cross the line into sex (or even passionate kissing), they are no longer this trope, instead becoming Schoolgirl Lesbians, and are treated differently. Compare Heterosexual Life-Partners, where it just doesn't seem as romantic but remains a tremendously important personal bond, above and beyond a genuine romantic relationship. Also compare Experimented in College.

#04. Varchie (Archie Andrews & Veronica Lodge; ROMANTIC TROPE: UPTOWN GIRL)

Uptown Girl

"She's a rich girl, she don't try to hide it, Diamonds on the soles of her shoes. He's a poor boy, empty as a pocket, Empty as a pocket with nothing to lose."—Paul Simon, "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes"

You know the story. It's a love story. Our lovers are from different worlds — one wealthy, one not. The poor girl has fallen in love with the Gentleman Snarker, or the Unlucky Everydude secretly courts the daughter of the richest man in town. And she loves him too. Maybe it was Love at First Sight. Maybe she has a habit of slipping out to the seedier side of town for a night of fun. Maybe they've been friends their whole lives and the difference in status never really mattered. Will their love be enough to let them be happy together?

In any case, this is usually played out in one of three ways:

The poor guy and rich girl mutually fall in love, and neither one cares about their differences in wealth. People around them, however, do, and conspire to interfere with True Love.

The poor guy falls for the rich girl, even though he knows that she's out of his league. Undaunted, our hero engages in some Zany Scheme to get her to notice him or be impressed by him. This usually ends with the girl revealing that she doesn't care if he's rich or poor, and that she loves him for who he is.

The poor guy and the rich girl fall for one another, but he doesn't know she's rich at first. When he finds out, he's either intimidated by her wealth once he finds out, or else doesn't think he's good enough for her. As before, she doesn't care about such things, and has to convince him that he's the one she wants.

When the rich girl wants nothing to do with the poor guy, but slowly warms up to him, it's a different trope entirely. Note that the roles aren't locked by gender: a working-class girl who loves a rich boy also fits this trope, as do two lovers of the same gender. A relationship variant of the Odd Couple and quite often overlaps with Nobody Thinks It Will Work. Also often leads to cases of I Can't Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me, either with severe case of insecurity (like the third type above), or simply the poor guy being constantly feeling lucky and appreciative that someone so rich could fall for him. If it's not just the fact that she comes from money, but that he feels like she's above him, she's a Peerless Love Interest. Compare with All Girls Want Bad Boys, which often follows the same socioeconomic groups (or the inverse, if the girl is The Ingenue and the boy is an Gentleman Snarker or Spoiled Brat). Can overlap with Single Woman Seeks Good Man as it is the guy's personality that wins her heart (as is the case mentioned above). Not to be confused with the Brittany Murphy film Uptown Girls, which doesn't use this trope. Not to be confused with City Mouse either. This is transitioning into Dead Horse Trope territory, since interclass marriage is no longer shocking, and the expectation that men should be the breadwinner in the family is much weaker today than it used to be. On the other hand, it may become an Undead Horse Trope with the emergence of culture wars and new waves of social stratification. For the non-romantic variant, see Interclass Friendship. For the version endemic to India, see Type Caste, although that trope is not restricted solely to marriage and relationships.

#03. Falice (FP Jones & Alice Cooper; ROMANTIC TROPE: UNRESOLVED SEXUAL TENSION AKA UST)

Unresolved Sexual Tension (UST)

"To repress one's feelings only makes them stronger."— Yu Shu Lien, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Two people are obviously attracted to each other, but some element of the story is keeping them apart. This tension is frequently referred to as UST in fandom, where it is pronounced "oost" or Yu-Ess-Tee. Also known as "Long Unresolved Sexual Tension". Belligerent Sexual Tension is a way to keep the UST by having the couple fight each other too much to actually get together. They Do is when it gets resolved (Literally Falling in Love might help). Shipping Bed Death and Strangled by the Red String are when it gets resolved badly. Compare All Love Is Unrequited, Will They or Won't They?, Just Friends, Moment Killer (a staple of a UST relationship), Maybe Ever After (a more uncertain version), Cannot Spit It Out. Contrast Official Couple, when the couple is already together, and Friends with Benefits, where the primarybond in the relationship is sex.

#02. Barchie (Archie Andrews & Betty Cooper; ROMANTIC TROPE: WILL THEY OR WON’T THEY?)

Will They Or Won’t They?

"Pam is very attractive, no question. If I didn't have an award show to host, I could easily see having two or three seasons of will-they-won't-they sexual tension that ultimately goes nowhere."—Conan O'Brien, Emmy 2006 opening skit, after crashing, The Office (US)

Two characters, often combative but with obvious Unresolved Sexual Tension, resist going into a full blown relationship for a rather long time. Usually the two characters will be presented so that "they will" is the conclusion to root for; only rarely is the question of whether the writers think they should in any real doubt. Actually ending the dance is a tricky business. It is difficult for shows to recover from the loss of a major source of dramatic tension represented by an unrequited relationship. Many shows Jump the Shark or suffer Shipping Bed Death when the two characters finally get together. A common problem is that the show suddenly becomes about the relationship rather than remaining true to its original premise. Sometimes an attempt is made to introduce a new source of dramatic tension, but it is frequently cheesy and lame. To avoid this, many shows choose to answer the question and end the show nearly simultaneously via a Last Minute Hookup. Of course, the opposite can also occur. Shows can go out of their way to avoid resolving the relationship, making ever-more-desperate narrative leaps. In longer-running shows, they may even have the characters hook up for a little while, only to split up over and over again, until by the time they finally let the characters get actually, technically married, the show has lost its viewership anyway. Belligerent Sexual Tension is often a victim of this. Sometimes a Love Epiphany can be used to have a character realize his/her feelings, but still not resolve the question, just add a new dynamic to it. A fundamental Shipping-inducement strategy. See also Almost Kiss, Held Gaze, Relationship Upgrade, Moment Killer, Everyone Can See It. When a series ends without even a hint of resolution to will-they-or-won't-they, it's No Romantic Resolution. If it's more ambiguous, it's Maybe Ever After. Contrast Friends with Benefits, where they definitelydo it, but without the emotional baggage. Compare Just Friends and They Do. Contrast Platonic Life-Partners and Ship Sinking — they won't. See Just Eat Gilligan if it's a major plot point. See also Break-Up/Make-Up Scenario when they separate for some dramatic reason, spend a time apart, then reconcile (usually with a kiss, which breaks the Will They Or Won't They)

#01. Jeronica (Jughead Jones & Veronica Lodge;  ROMANTIC TROPE: BELLIGERENT SEXUAL TENSION AKA BST)

Belligerent Sexual Tension (BST)

"Wonderful girl! Either I'm gonna kill her, or I'm beginning to like her!"— Han Solo about Princess Leia Organa, A New Hope

There's a couple, usually a sometimes sweet, sometimes grouchy female (Tsundere) paired with a secretly-kind jerk (Jerk With A Heart Of Gold), who are not able to admit their feelings. At the top of their lungs. Despite the conflict, there is an attraction. This is usually obvious to everyone around except the couple. Confront them with the obvious, they'll deny deny deny. Sometimes they will progress to admitting their friendship but insist they are Just Friends. Eventually, they can admit their feelings to practically anyone except their loved one. It ends up where both characters dance around admitting their feelings as if the words "I love you" are some sort of death curse, much to the frustration of the audience and the other characters. Older Than Steam, since this is used in Much Ado About Nothing, and has varying degrees of popularity at different times. If there is a Love Epiphany with one of these characters, expect it to change nothing, at least in the short term. This can even be true in established long-term relationships; see Like an Old Married Couple. If the whole relationship is defined by the belligerence, it can become The Masochism Tango. If a pair of outright enemies has this sort of attraction, it's a case of Foe Romance Subtext and when it ultimately goes from subtext to text, then it's Dating Catwoman. See also Slap-Slap-Kiss, No Accounting for Taste, Well, Excuse Me, Princess! and Defrosting Ice Queen. If we're lucky, at the end we may get to see a moment of Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other. Expect this couple to be either extremely popular or completely hated by the fandom. For the platonic version, compare Vitriolic Best Buds and With Friends Like These.... Not to be confused with Hate at First Sight, although it may overlap.

[mediocre-riverdale]

Riverdale Can’t Develop Relationships Rant

Ok so this is going to be long, sorry for that.

Choni (Cheryl/Toni)

• Don’t get me wrong, I like Choni and I think it’s good that Cheryl has someone who loves her but this relationship lowkey came out of nowhere.

• Lets review: they have a few very short conversations (if you can even call them that) in which Cheryl says something rude, Toni says something along the lines of ‘I know you’re acting mean for a reason’ and Cheryl basically responds with ‘I’m popular, totally fine, and totally straight ha ha ha 👀’. Other than that they don’t really spend much time together until the Love Simon scene.

• The Love Simon scene: so, Cheryl is outside this theater and is going to see the movie when Toni shows up and offers to see it with her. Cheryl accepts, which is odd because up to that moment Cheryl had been pretty clear about how she felt about Toni and the serpents. There’s really no reason for Toni to want to spend time with Cheryl either, they didn’t know each other well and all their previous interactions were unfriendly.

• (Toni highkey just wanted to get into Cheryl’s pants, but that’s a story for another time).

• (Also was Cheryl planning to go see Love Simon alone?? she was going to sit there, in the back, completely alone and in the closet and return home from just crying in a theater by herself?? That was her frickin Saturday night plan)

• After the movie they go to Pop’s and Cheryl comes out to Toni which partly doesn’t make sense. I realize Cheryl was emotional that night and she didn’t have friends to come out to, but why would she come out to this random serpent of all people? Did she know Toni is bi, and if so, how? It seems very odd to me that Cheryl would out herself to a gang member she saw ONE movie with.

• Once Cheryl comes out, Toni calls Cheryl sensational. Remember how I said earlier that Toni wanted in Cheryl’s pants? Well, here’s an example of that. THEY HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR LIKE LESS THAN A MONTH. There is no way Toni could know if Cheryl is sensational or not, though it was a nice thing to say.

• Also it was kind of a weird thing to say. Sensational?? To some random north side redhead that made ur gaydar ping? Really Toni?

• Anyways, they have some flirting moments which are actually pretty cute, Toni saves Cheryl from conversion therapy (damn Toni gets attached real quick) and they seem genuinely good for each other but the premise of how they get together is weird.

• They go from 0-100 in a very short period of time. Over the course of a few episodes (maybe a month or so in Riverdale time) they go from being lowkey rivals to sending heart eyes at each other and we haven’t seen a lot of screen time between them since the show deleted a lot of their scenes. Them deleting the scenes makes no sense because they could’ve easily fit them into the episodes and it would have made Choni seem a lot more developed, but nO.

• Cheryl becomes a serpent near the end of season 2 which I kind of understand more than SOME people in that gang (ahem, Archie) but still, Cheryl has hated the Serpents for most of her time on Riverdale and now she’s one of them. It makes little to no sense. She wouldn’t have joined if it weren’t for Toni and again, she’s only been dating Toni for maybe a month or so?

• Either way I guess the Cheryl Hating the Serpents storyline is dropped now, so thanks for the inconsistency Riverdale.

Bughead (Jughead/Betty)

• WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH THIS SHIP OH MY GOD THE WRITERS HAVE TURNED IT INTO A DUMPSTER FIRE!

• ok, let me rephrase

• So if u watch the show u definitely know bughead since it’s the most popular ship in the show. They’re also the Ship of Going to the Extremes.

• If I go in depth about this it’s going to be way too long so I’m just going to list how Bughead evolved over these two seasons: it starts with Jughead and Betty being cute, Jughead climbs in her room and calls her Juliet, wears this tux and smiles at her, and they do normal teenage first relationship stuff. Then shit gets crazy.

• Season one is relatively tame to be honest. They seem a little too into each other for a couple that had been dating for about a month or two, but whatever they’re 16 and I can understand getting overly invested in each other when you’re young like that.

• It’s a very rushed relationship. In the first and second episode Betty has a crush on Archie, cries about him, seems heartbroken when he says he only thinks of her as a friend. By like the seventh episode (there were only 12-13 episodes in the season, I’m sure, so Bughead happened within ten episodes) she has completely forgotten Archie (who she liked for years and had been previously been best friends with, though she barely hangs out with him in current episodes) and is kissing Jughead.

• As per usual, Riverdale takes Bughead from 0-100 in the blink of an eye and competely changes how they act.

• For the whole first season Jughead actively does not want to join the Serpents and is very clear about that. However, at the end of season 1 he gets a Serpent jacket and all that changes. While Jughead is off doing this, Betty is being the typical ‘girl next door’ and has that crush (but lmao, they ditched that storyline too sO). There’s one episode where this football player, Chuck Clayton, lies about Veronica giving him a Sticky Maple (some Riverdale sexual act, put the dots together yourself) and so to get revenge B & V decide to tie him up in a hot tub and burn him until he admits what really happened on the date, while filming. This gets weird very quick because Betty shows up in a black wig and lingerie and says that ‘Betty couldn’t make it’ (Taylor Swift is sueing), then once Chuck confesses she tries to drown him, pours maple syrup on him, calls him Jason, and tells him to apologize to Polly.

• so instead of Bughead staying the cute relationship it is in season one the show makes them bring out the worst in each other and act like they’ve been dating for years. They’re obsessed with each other. It’s kind of unhealthy, they literally make each other worse.

• Jughead becomes the Serpent King and Betty becomes his Serpent Queen, despite having little to nothing to do with the south side besides her connection with Jughead.

• yep, another Riverdale gf joining the Serpents for their significant other

• They’ve also only been dating for a short while and go from being two damaged, trying their hardest teenagers to two gang leaders (Jughead literally skins a woman) and it seems they just keep going further and further which each other, increasing all the dangerous crap they can do.

• How did they get to this point? No one knows. A couple kisses and some longing looks quickly turns into this crazy ass gang relationship where they both do terrible things and the other is completely okay with it.

• Betty does this Serpent initiation dance in front of a bunch of old men and her mom, it’s very sexual and she’s in her underwear on a pole. She also starts wearing her Dark Betty (black wig and lingerie outfit from when she tried to drown someone) to bed with Jughead and briefly becomes a cam girl.

• Season 1 Betty would never do this

• They totally change both of their season one personalities to help fit the plot and are suddenly ready to do absolutely anything for each other, despite the fact that Betty had a HUGE CRUSH on Archie about 3-5 months ago

• If Jughead kills someone, Betty will be there to cover it all up and wash the blood away, previous storylines and character development be damned

Varchie (Veronica/Archie)

• I honestly don’t have much to say about these two because while they’re underdeveloped, they aren’t the most underdeveloped couple on the show and actually have some good moments together

• But anyways, the show starts when Veronica comes to Riverdale. Archie sees her at Pop’s and immediately likes her (they end up kissing in a closet at a party early in season one) and every viewer can tell that they’re going to date because it’s just so obvious. He has heart eyes from the moment he sees her. Veronica seems to like him too but she holds off for like two seconds because of her best friend (? not really, B & V don’t interact ?) Betty.

• Most season 1 relationships are fairly wholesome tbh.

• Yes, they have their drama because it’s Riverdale but no one is doing anything too drastic yet

• Archie is a COMPLETE fuckboy for the first season. For a lot of the season he dates this teacher, Ms. Grundy, and they have these sex scenes that I guess are supposed to make us think a teacher/student relationship is cool? Which, no. She tells him to stay away, he won’t leave her alone, and eventually Ms. Grundy has to leave to go screw other students/get choked out. So Archie moves on. He dates Valerie (one of the forgotten Pussycats, don’t worry u don’t need to know her name since Riverdale will give her zero screen time) for a hot minute and I forget why they broke up but I remember she throws a drink in his face so that happens. He also kisses Cheryl one time but isn’t really into it. When Bughead starts dating he throws weird jealousy looks their way even though he said he only liked Betty as a friend, it’s clear this dude can’t make a decision.

• Surprise, surprise, in season 2 this all changes and Archie starts making decisions. Which isn’t exactly a bad thing, but he becomes very committed to Veronica (again, keep in mind he’s only known her for about 3-6 months)

• Suddenly he’s ready to become hubby material and meets her dad, who he has a weird relationship with. Veronica’s dad is in the mob or something and Archie kind of joins his business (he’s like an unpaid, crazy intern) and runs around doing whatever Mr. Lodge asks him to. He’s a total obedient puppy. He makes promises to risk his life protecting Veronica, runs after a robber who stole something from her (possibly a necklace, idk I haven’t watched that episode in a while) even though literally everyone tells him not to and that it’s dangerous, gets kidnapped by her old (boy)friend, and says I love you first.

• Not all of these are bad changes but they’re sudden, out of the blue changes. He goes from kissing like 4 (?) girls and being jealous over Bughead to being totally committed to Veronica over the course of a few weeks. Seriously, it’s like at the end of season 1 he’s kinda fuckboy Archie and then in season 2 he’s willing to throw himself in front of a truck to protect her.

• Throughout this Veronica lowkey joins the mob or something. The show isn’t very clear about what’s going on with her family, except that it’s bad and Veronica goes from not really wanting to be in it to wanting to run the business to just wanting to be a normal family again. It’s very on and off.

Other Relationships (do I really need to name them, they’re so in the background that I literally can not remember who’s with who outside of the core four and Choni)

• Kevin gets to kiss a couple guys in the show, one of them being Moose. What’s going on with Moose? I can’t remember if he’s out or not but since they’re kissing in the season 3 promo I guess something is happening with them. I don’t really know because throughout the whole show they’ve gotten like 1-4 min of screen time. I feel like the show is going to have them kiss randomly (no one really knows what’s going on with them so any kissing between them is already kind of underdeveloped) and not talk about it for the rest of the season

• ARE REGGIE AND JOSIE A THING OR NOT? They flirted (weird because they’ve never spoken to each other in the show before then) and a lot of people shipped/still do ship them but we haven’t seen much from them. What was the point of having them flirt if you’re not going to do anything with it, writers??

• BETTY AND CHERYL: they’re relatives and while sometimes they’re nice to each other, other times they’re just terrible with each other. They’ll go from smiling and being friendly to arguing and hating one another within seconds. Betty actually blackmails Cheryl with her brother’s murder video (more evidence of Bughead changing each other) in one episode but there’s been episodes before/after that where they seemed friendly together.

• BETTY AND VERONICA: take this romantic or platonic, which ever way u want, but they screwed over this pairing. The first 3 episodes they’re calling each other BFFs and saying how they need each other in their lives and then they just kind of... ditched each other. They barely interact and when they do they’re arguing, which is very different from how Season 1 was.

Conclusion:

• Riverdale DOES NOT know how to gradually change someone’s actions/personality or how they interact with friends/significant others. For a lot of the characters their season 1 selves are almost completely different people from their season 2 selves.

[milkshake-at-pops]

Tour of the Heart: Chapter 8

chapter 7/masterpost/chapter 9

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As Hollywood-chic as the tour bus was, it only took a day or so for Archie to get sick of it. It was cramped, and besides, he wanted to see the rest of New York City. This was Ronnie’s hometown, not his, and their first concert was tomorrow. Also, he wanted to get to know Jughead.

The reporter seemed like an interesting guy— he’d mostly kept to himself — and Archie’s manager had told him, in no uncertain terms, that the publicity for this tour could make or break his career. On a more personal level, Archie wanted to know what was hiding underneath Jughead’s beanie and his quiet demeanor.

“Hey Veronica,” Archie said, to his friend who was sitting five feet away from him on the other top bunk. “Do you know any good bars around here?”

Veronica giggled a little, for no reason that Archie could see. “Hmm… who are you taking? I hope it’s me, because there’s no way I’m letting you go bar-hopping on your own.”

“Um, actually, I was thinking of taking the reporter. Jughead, I think.” Archie swung his legs over the side of his bunk, looking at Veronica, who was reading a book, glasses on. Despite her offer to go, she didn’t look in the mood. Books and clubbing don’t mix well, at least according to Ronnie. Archie had never actually gone out clubbing before, it’s not like Riverdale had much of a night scene in a town where everyone went to bed before ten o’clock.

Lowering her reading glasses to look over at him, Veronica let her book fall in her lap. “Jughead… well, that changes things! I actually went to high school with him, fun fact, so I think I can give you two a solid recommendation. He actually dated a friend of mine for a time— before he moved on to Kevin Keller. They were cute, high school sweethearts, but it didn’t last. I wish I’d stayed in touch with him to know how it ended, though. It was very Breakfast Club of them— the theatre kid and the recluse. I swear, the two of them fulfilled every single gay stereotype during high school. Which was breaking stereotypes in its own way, although I do think I did that a touch more than they did. Being a feminine and out bi girl was… something.”

Archie was already down from the bed, tugging his shoes on and picking out a shirt from his suitcase. “What was the bar’s name again?” he asked, completely tuning out Veronica’s ramble.

She sighed. “Metropolitan. It’s in Brooklyn, so you should call an uber. And, fortunately for you and Jughead, it’s pretty cheap.”

“Metropolitan. Sweet, let me just grab Jughead from the kitchen and then we can get going,” Archie said, giving Veronica the smile that, unbeknownst to him, had already enraptured Jughead Jones. “Thanks for the spot.”

He found Jughead in the kitchen, eating a bag of sea salt and vinegar chips. “Oh, hey Archie. Didn’t see you there,” Jughead said, quickly shoving his phone into his pocket the second he saw Arch. “Want some chips?”

“Um, no thanks, because I was kind of wondering,” Archie began, wondering why his words were sticking in his throat. “Do you want to go get a drink or two, and um, get to know each other? I mean, I can’t exactly have the star reporter, Jughead Jones, on my tour bus without getting to um, know him some more than just your excellent fashion sense.” Archie’s eyes moved from Jughead’s beanie to his black t-shirt to his equally black ripped jeans, not sure what to do now that he’d stopped talking.

It took a few seconds for Jughead to respond, his face flushing slightly as he responded. “Sure, I’d love to become more acquainted with the world-class musician that I’m touring with, especially since I’m just…” A Buzzfeed “reporter” who has never actually written an article for their news section before now. “... so excited for the rest of the tour. Let me get my um…” don’t say condom, don’t say condom “Jacket. Because it might be cold. Then I’ll join you in the uber.”

Jughead bolted out of the room and dove into his suitcase under his bed which, unfortunately, was underneath Arch’s bed because Cheryl had already claimed the one under Veronica’s. Trying and failing to not ponder the sheer embarrassment of having in-the-flesh Archie Andrews walk into the kitchen while he had Archie Andrews’ instagram page up on his phone, he grabbed his old leather jacket (with a snake on it, because Toni had bought it for him as a gag gift) and took a deep breath to steady himself before walking back into the kitchen.

Archie Andrews felt a little awkward with his hand in the bag of chips that Jughead had just been eating, but they were addictively good and he was still waiting for the uber. He took note of how the leather jacket Jughead wore fit him well, like the sort of thing Jughead had worn enough that it had just become a part of him. “The uber’s going to be here in a couple minutes, you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready to go. I wasn’t expecting this like, at all, but I mean, getting a drink barely requires a lot of preparation. Unless you’re Cheryl, in which case it’s usually an hour of raiding her closet for the best outfit and four selfies before we even reach the bar,” Jughead said, secretly very glad that his friendship with Cheryl meant that he knew rich people took ubers to clubs, not the bus. Or just walking, honestly. Just because Jughead had never actually been to a bar unless Cheryl dragged him didn’t mean that he didn’t know exactly how he’d do it without her.

“Sounds a lot like Veronica, but add the fourteen calls to the manager of the club so that she can get free drinks,” Archie said, laughing a little. His phone dinged in his pocket. “Oh, our uber’s here.”

They got in the uber, and instead of the awkwardly silent drive that Jughead had expected from someone who was as undoubtedly cool as Arch Andrews, the singer talked his ear off. From exploits with Veronica to ridiculous high school stories in Chicago, Arch had no problem sharing his life with someone that he barely knew.

And Jughead found himself, the guy who barely bothered saying more than four words to anyone unless it was via email, talking just as much. He told Archie about all the shit Cheryl had dragged him into, including when she’d demanded that he, as her best friend, find her a girlfriend, and, since it was four AM on a Friday night, Jughead prank called Toni.

“Wait, they actually got together?” Archie said, shaking his head.

“Cheryl and Toni, or fucking Choni, as Cheryl insisted on calling them, went strong all throughout our sophomore, junior, and senior year of college. I don’t know why I decided to play drunk Cupid in that moment, but I don’t regret it,” Jughead said, smiling at Archie’s attentiveness. Their uber pulled up next to the club, and Archie held the door open like a gentleman for Jughead, who wished that his beanie could become a ski mask so that his blush wouldn’t be so obvious. He could only imagine how much he looked like the cousin of a tomato.

They walked inside, and ordered drinks. Jughead took one look at the vibrantly colored menu full of words he couldn’t pronounce, and said “I’ll have what he’s having.” The bartender shot him a wink as he slid their drinks across the bar. Noting that the bartender was shirtless, Jughead took a sip of his not-half-bad cocktail and focused his attention back to Archie.

“So, Toni Topaz. How do you know her? She’s a Youtuber, and um, that doesn’t exactly seem like your crowd,” Archie said, once again taking in Jughead’s “It’s not a phase, mom” outfit.

“It’s not, really. Actually, we were friends way back in high school, she’s a part of my silly friend group. She actually gave me this jacket, by the way,” Jughead said, spinning around in the bar stool to show the back of it. “Which has a snake on it, because our groupchat name throughout all of high school was the Serpents.”

“No way, that’s so cool. Why the Serpents? Snakes are kind of gross,” Archie said, taking a drink from his glass.

“Like all good stories, this one begins with a Taylor Swift song,” Jughead said, feeling a wave of nostalgia as he remembered how it happened. “Okay, so there’s this guy in our group, goes by Fangs. He, for reasons I will never understand, was obsessed with Taylor Swift. Now, I don’t think she’s half bad, but this was next level. Anyways, you know that one video with all the snakes?”

“Yeah, I know it. Where is this going?” Archie said, resting his elbows on the bar and leaning closer to Jughead. “I’m captivated, you’re a really good storyteller. I can see why you’re a reporter.”

Jughead laughed, because this was an absolute gem of a story. “So, approximately five seconds after the video drops, Fangs decides to change the chat name to ‘Snake Bros’ with like, five snake emojis. Anyways, we were all immediately like, ‘No. Dude, don’t drag me into this. We support you, but for god’s sake the groupchat title can’t be about snakes.’ To which Toni, wise-ass as always, responds with ‘we should make it Snakes On A Plane.’”

That got a laugh out of Archie, and Jughead couldn’t remember enjoying a sound more. “But Fangs is insistent that we need to have a ‘squad,’ because he watched the video again while we were all going ‘Fangs dude, what the fuck.’ And he keeps saying that if we won’t be Swifties with him, that we at least need something that relates to his interests as a groupchat title. So obviously, no more titles with B emojis. Which is a tragedy of epic proportions, but that’s besides the point. Sweet Pea, who wasn’t Fangs’ boyfriend yet, but was getting there, suggested ‘Serpents’ because it sounded badass.”

“Okay, that’s good. And, let me guess, it stuck?”

“No, absolutely not. Betty had a freak out about how much she just hates snakes, Toni changed it to ‘Big Chungus’ at least eight times, I think I turned it into ‘Sad Emo Squad’ before Fangs changed it to fifteen more snake emojis. At a certain point, I believe that Fangs and Joaquin had a shouting match,” Jughead said, taking another drink and wondering if he could get lost in Archie’s deep brown eyes.

“That’s awful. Wait, how did you end up becoming the Serpents, then?” Archie asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“Me and Toni bought Fangs a stuffed snake to try and keep the peace, and quietly asked him if we could just call it ‘Serpents,’ if that would be okay with him. Fortunately for everyone’s collective sanity, he said yes.”

Archie smiled and laughed, returning Jughead’s tale with a yarn of his own. It was almost midnight before Veronica texted them to remind them that yes, they had a show tomorrow. As they slouched against each other on the ride back, Archie and Jughead wondered how people could go from being complete strangers, from pixels on a screen to someone captivating in every way.