#I don't like it in practice though because I basically never see somebody play into the soapy taste

[pinkiepiebones]

Renfield Interview Info from SCREAM magazine (and a little bit from "L'officiel Hommes")

-Nicholas Hoult taking about Renfield's growth: "...he ends up in a scenario where he sees an interaction between Rebecca and Teddy... Renfield sees someone who is able to stand up for their themselves, risk everything, and stand by their morals. He feels completely inspired by it because he sees her do the exact thing he's been wanting to do for many decades, but hasn't found the voice to be able to say it. So, he's completely awed and inspired, and that feels like his way out. But obviously, he has a big journey to go on in actual change instead of just the idea of it."

-Following Hoult, the movie's idea man, Robert Kirkman, adds: "There's an admiration for Rebecca that forms very early on in the movie, that drives Renfield to emulate her. Rebecca shows Renfield a different way of living, a different way of existing that is possibly going to lead to something that he never in a million years thought he could attain, which is happiness. We meet him at the beginning of the movie when he's at his lowest point. He has nothing but regrets. There was a tremendous amount of sorrow in his life, and (Rebecca) becomes this beacon of hope that drives him to strive to be something more."

-The writer of the article (Bryan Cairns) writes: "Renfield isn't your ordinary mortal" and that phrasing just tickled me. He's not like ~other~ mortals, he's over a hundred and twenty years old!

-Renfield's powerset includes superhuman strength, endurance, and speed. I wish the speed bit had been played with...

-Director Chris McKay about Hoult: "I have never worked with somebody who wants to do as many stunts as possible... If he wasn't working on first unit, he'd want to go over to second unit so he could be part of the stunts and be in the scene as much as possible. We had a dance scene that we ended up cutting from the movie, he learned all the choreography and threw himself into it. It was incredible to work with so many actors that are nice people and so committed to the movie and characters."

The Hoult interview in "L'officiel Hommes" doesn't have much Renfield stuff but here's what I gleaned:

-First off, his The Great costar Elle Fanning interviewed him for this lol

-Elle: "And you're a good dancer! You do some dancing in Renfield."

Hoult: "Cut! Gone. There was a whole dance sequence that we practiced for weeks. It was a dream fantasy sequence. We shot it all in one night, we had these amazing dancers, and then it's not in the film."

Elle: "That"'s showbiz though, isn't it? That happens all the time. Sometimes the things you're most excited about get cut.

Hoult: "It's been a bit of a learning curve for me; when you get really attached to things in the script, and you put in a lot of effort to learn them, or whatever it might be, and then it just doesn't work in the end." (Aww)

-Elle: "What's with your obsession with vampires? Are you one? Is that why?"

Hoult: "(laughs) That's it. I just like leeches and anything that drinks blood, basically. Mosquitoes, all blood-sucking creatures."

-Hoult asserts that the real bugs he did eat on the set of Renfield were all dead and dried, not alive. He says "I wasn't just randomly picking bugs off the floor" to which Elle responds "if you were a real actor, you would've." XD

-Hoult says that for Robert Eggers's NOSFERATU he was "flirting with an accent" and a dialect coach on set said "Don't do that. That's terrible."

-Hoult says Renfield's voice and accent were mostly just his own voice and accent- contrasted with NOSFERATU, where it's set in a different era and is a serious piece.

So there you have it!!!

[nihiltism]

I know I've infodumped this before but not as its own post so let's go. what I'd do if I was in charge of making a live a live anime. I am ignoring the fact that I desperately want it to be a musical because that's not going to happen so ask me about my Separate thoughts about what I'd do if I was in charge of making a The Day The Night Slept The Album-ening of live a live.

ok so my Basic Idea is I'd let the show have a 13 episode (maybe 14? does that happen?) first season. I assume each of the first 7 chapters would need about 2 episodes, but I can see some that end in one like wild west or Definitely present day. I could also see some taking longer though, like distant future and near future. it'd even itself out I think to average to 2 episodes each.

it'd be an anthology series basically. a bunch of non-connected stories, but tied together by one key point. a narrator. see I have a Framing Device idea here and it's that we know odio from the very beginning, but never see his face or know who he is. this is very inspired by princess tutu here but here the stories are actively being Read by somebody outside of it, and occasionally he takes the reins to bend the retelling a bit, likely in the chapter boss' favor. note that while the anime is actually Playing and showing the characters, if the narrator does decide to kick in the characters will likely not be doing what he says they are, and they Definitely cannot hear him. it's an unreliable narrator story, but to the point where it's pretty easy to tell that he's biased. in practice how this probably would go would be like in princess tutu, occasionally when a character reaches a point that justifies his own philosophy in some way he'll cut in and monologue about The Nature Of Man Bringing Only Tragedy or whatever the fuck. also maybe cutting in to give the chapter villains some sympathy for the devil, maybe at the end to close each story out as he turns the last page? I dunno I don't want to be Too obvious but like. odio does sound pretty damn evil by default so maybe it'd be obvious anyway.

anyway! that's season one. anthology of short stories. on the final episode I'd leave it hanging on him picking up one last book or something, but I'd let that be told in either a short season (again, do these happen?) or a movie ??? anyway that would start out with the middle ages chapter, which I don't think will have any narration? I'm iffy on this? it'd be cool to see his retrospective thoughts on his own story but also, that's a bit heavy-handed, I'm not sure. anyway the thing is that around the end, when oersted breaks into his soliloquy at the archons roost. there I think we'd get a sort of cut-in, as halfway through our narrator starts reading it out himself. shut book camera pan Blonde Man Jumpscare I think that's the best way to go about the "oh shit the villain is the protag of that story" reveal. also it'd be fun. anyway that'd be either the beginning chunk or the first two? episodes?

from here I'm not Exactly sure how to frame it because all of the endings are Very important, but also kind of. happen at the same time? I do not know how to do this. the easy way would just be to have it remain anthology-ish, and have say the boss rush version of the dominion of hate be one story while the rest is another, but I don't think that fits into the framing device well. mm?? I have no idea. I think we're good without the bad ending of the dominion of hate happening as long as the "if you kill this dude you'll end up just as fucked as him" message gets conveyed in some way or another but I don't think we can skip the whole other version of the DoH.

maybe we can play it less as Actually Happening and more a what if scenario?? more odio just. Fucking Talking Alone Again about what Could be if not for Man's Folly^tm. I think that'd get the point across, be a good intro for the rest of the dominion of hate and stay in universe but it would Not have the added bonus of "ok you kicked around a bunch of jrpg protagonists now what. did that make you feel any better" unless we tried to hammer that home in a different way. and oh boy do I not have a single idea what to do with the armageddon ending. maybe instead just have him mention how if he and the other odios were Still denied he'd have the page burnt entirely or something. maybe at the end. shrugs. there's not a ton I can do here.

eh. anyway the actual dominion of hate would likely be more based in the protagonists than anything, likely picking a main character (Probably Akira) and not having a Narrator as much as just being in the mc's head from time to time. though I Do like the idea of odio still being there Attempting to nudge the protags and them being actually able to hear him this time, it'd have to be used infrequently. or not at all. there is a certain merit to them not knowing anything about him until getting to the archons roost but Us knowing a lot. I dunno. anyway I think this adaptation would have a lot more interactions between the protagonists (desperately needed) and I think that'd take up most of the runtime there, we can incorporate the trials if we want to (trial of heart is necessary to be sure but the rest really aren't, so it can be a good dungeon for the whole team to go through and have some more plot-motivated character moments) but I think Getting The Band Together might already take a good amount of time if we don't rush past good chances for character building or interaction. I want it to feel like the mcs Do actually start to be a team that is the thing I have the Most problems with about the game, though in doing so that will mean we're gonna have to do away with the 4 character party thing unless we want to have them split up sometimes. that's details. the point is that it's going to be All the mcs together most of the time and hopefully it doesn't feel crowded.

anyway from there it kind of goes as expected, except with the aforementioned (we don't need to have the bad ending be its own thing but we do need to mention the consequences). maybe somebody of the team Does try to grant oersteds wish before being held back or something. for similarities reasons I say oboro but this can be wiggled. anyway I also think around the actual Ending ending you'd get more than just one monologue from the mcs, you'd probably get more of like. an actual Conversation I guess? the mcs building off of each other's points to oersted? I dunno I'm spitballing here I do think it would Start Off with akira's ending though and then somebody scruffs him and continues off from there. I dunno the important thing is that everybody should get a word in or perhaps a hug in in the case of pogo. I think that's it though? I probably won't return to the plot device to show like another book being closed or whatever that is purely A Plot Device so it'd be weird to have it come back after oersted was Thoroughly Dead. I will say though if the live a live anime has an ED it's gotta have sin of odio in the A that's the law.

[realmackross]

PARTIES: @magmahearts @realmackross TIMING: June 20th, two days before the AllGoods party SUMMARY: After an online conversation, Mackenzie decides to meet Cass for miming lessons. But things don't quite go as planned... WARNINGS: None!

Sometimes, Cass felt a little bad about binding people. There was something undeniably predatory about the practice, though she hadn’t put a lot of thought into it until she’d met Metzli and seen how they reacted. Even now, after she’d released them from the bind she’d tied them into, they stepped in to stop her from binding others when they were with her. Free will, they said, and Cass had never really thought of it like that before. Was it evil, taking people’s will away like that? Was she more of a villain than a hero? It was a heavy question, one she had a hard time focusing on for long.

It wasn’t enough to stop her, either. She thought that might say something about her, too, thought it might paint an ugly picture. She had these questions on morality, but she didn’t let them make her pause. She still bound a stranger on the internet, still tricked them into promising her $50 in exchange for everything she knew about mimes… which, by the way? Was nothing. She was going to give this stranger nothing, and she was still going to get $50. It’d feed her for a little while, at least. Maybe that made it okay.

Spotting someone in the seat she’d instructed the stranger to sit in, she made her way over. “Okay,” she greeted. “I hope you’re ready for a —” The woman looked up, and Cass faltered. “Wait, Mack Ross?!?” 

—

Mackenzie wasn’t sure if meeting some rando over the internet to teach her all about mime lessons for $50 was a good idea, but for whatever reason, it felt right. However, she wasn’t expecting much. Maybe what she had seen in movies. Common knowledge of trying to get out of an invisible box or out from behind invisible glass, but $50 was like pocket change and ever since coming to Wicked’s Rest, she hadn’t blown any money on any impractical items. Plus, she’d probably make it back that night at work.

Finding the place she had been told to wait at, Mack took a seat and pulled out her phone. The Taylor Swift baseball cap she had on that said “I had a marvelous time ruinin’ everything” was pulled down low in the hopes that no one would really notice her. It was heartbreaking seeing her friends continuing to live their lives while she had ruined hers in only a matter of minutes, so instead of guilt-searching social media, she played some stupid little game that she had already spent way too much money on.

It was hearing the stunned voice speak her name that had caught Mack’s attention. Guess next time she’d try a hoodie, since it’s not like she got hot anymore, “Uh, yeah, I’m waiting on somebody. I’m sorry. If you have a pen I don’t mind signing something for you, but I’m not really up for taking pictures.”

—

Sure, the stranger’s username had referenced Mack Ross, and her icon looked a little like the actress… but Cass had just assumed it was a fanblog. After all, that seemed like a far more likely scenario than an actress who’d basically dropped off the face of the Earth popping up again in a small town in Maine, didn’t it? But, then again… Wicked’s Rest was no ordinary town. There were far stranger things here than an actress who might not want to be an actress anymore. Cass would know — she was one of those strange things.

She tried to recover herself quickly. She didn’t want to look like some embarrassing fangirl, didn’t want Mack Ross to think she was a loser. Of course, she was still planning on taking the actress’s money, but she did feel a little less bad about it now because, well… it wasn’t like she didn’t have money, right? 

Looking a little sheepish, she slid into the chair across from Mack. “Sorry. Yeah. That’s me. I’m Cass. From the internet? Sorry to, um, freak out a little there. I’m just a big fan, you know? That superhero movie you were in, the one with the aliens? It’s, like, my favorite movie.”

—

Wait. So the person charging her $50 was around her age and a fan of Not the End of the World? This was getting more ridiculous by the minute. But she could humor her. There was something about this whole situation that was amusing to Mackenzie. Yet also compelling. And she wasn’t about to judge the girl based on her mime skills. You could be a pro at something at any age as long as you worked hard at it and had a passion and drive for it.

“Nice to meet you, Cass.” I think. “I’m Mackenzie, but you already know that.” Leaning forward, she rested her arms on the table. If they were doing this, she was ready to get down to business. She had more important things to do. Like go home and watch the finale of Cake Boss on Netflix. “So mime lessons first, and then you’ll get your $50.” She wasn’t about to hand over money, even if it was like pocket change, to some stranger. That’s not how this was going to work. It was hard to scam money from the actress, and if you were, she was going to find pleasure or humor in the situation and make it hard earned.

—

This was awesome. In all of her adventures, Cass had never met a movie star before. A few YouTube streamers in LA was the closest she’d come to meeting anyone famous, unless you counted Nora. (Cass didn’t count Nora; Nora hadn’t wanted her fame, had run away from it. Nora wouldn’t want to be counted. Cass would never count someone who didn’t want it.) But Mackenzie Ross? She was a real, honest to god movie star! If Cass had ever had a room, the Not the End of the World poster would have been hanging up on the wall.

“Yeah! Yeah, I do already know that. Wow. I didn’t know you lived in Wicked’s Rest.” She avoided the elephant in the room, because of course she’d seen the magazines. Mackenzie Ross disappeared from the spotlight when her fiance died. There were already a few YouTube video conspiracy theories out there about it that Cass had refused to watch. It seemed disrespectful and cruel to theorize about something like that, didn’t it? “Mime lessons!” She confirmed, clapping her hands together. “Right. I promised you I’d tell you everything I knew about mimes, and you promised me if I did, you’d give me fifty bucks. So, here goes: I know nothing about mimes.” She thrust out her hand palm-up, eyeing Mack expectantly. “I’ll take that $50, please.”

—

“Yeah, for just a few months now.” Mack wasn’t planning on divulging anymore information. She had come here to learn, and when Cass acted like she was going to start the lessons, Mackenzie’s interest peaked. Finally, they could get to the good stuff. However, the good stuff was over before they had even got started, “Wait…what?” She narrowed her eyes, “What do you mean you don’t know anything about mimes?” Seriously. Mackenzie should have trusted her instincts. This was totally a scam.

“Nope. Sorry. No $50. You didn’t give me any information at all.” In fact, Mackenzie was starting to get frustrated. Pushing the chair back from the table and standing up, she shook her head mad with herself for getting played, “I’m not doing this. Have a nice life, Kid.” The twenty-five year old sighed in frustration as she started to walk away.

—

“Me, too,” Cass replied quickly, a little excited at the prospect of having something in common with Mackenzie Ross. Something small and insignificant, sure, but it still felt cool. Mackenzie Ross was a movie star, and people loved her. Wasn’t the idea of having anything at all in common with someone that people loved a good thing?

Of course, there was every chance that Mack would… not be her biggest fan after this conversation. Cass shrugged at the clear frustration in her question. “I said I’d tell you everything I knew, and I just did. I never lied to you.” And she’d know if she had; the sickness that came with lying for a fae was a difficult thing to ignore. As Mack got up, Cass shifted and stood as well. “Um, well… The thing is, we had a deal. And you promised. So you kind of don’t have a choice.” She tugged on the mental string of the bind, as if signifying that it was there. Fae binds were a tricky thing, but Cass was good at them. She kind of had to be.

—

Mackenzie stopped walking. For whatever reason, she began to feel somewhat guilty for not giving up the $50. The kid did have a point, and as much as she just wanted to walk away and be done with this whole interaction, she just couldn’t. Instead she closed her eyes and gritted her teeth trying to decide how to handle this. Sure, $50 wasn’t much to a millionaire, but it was the principle of the matter. Mackenzie didn’t like feeling swindled, and that’s exactly what was happening to her. But yet, at the same time, she found herself feeling bad for the girl standing behind her.

With a low guttural growl, Mack finally turned back around. The glare on her face was apparent. She wasn’t happy. But Cass technically was right. With a deep huff of frustration, she shoved her hand down in the front right pocket of her blue jeans and pulled out a $50 bill, “Here. Just take it. It’s not like this is the worst thing to ever happen to me.” Without saying anything else, she turned back around and started to walk off again, pulling the hood on her black hoodie up over the Taylor Swift baseball cap she was wearing.

—

It was clear that she wasn’t happy about it, but she didn’t have a choice. Whether she knew it or not, she was bound by the promise she’d made to Cass online, and she couldn’t walk back on it unless Cass allowed her to. And she wouldn’t. Maybe that was bad, maybe that made her bad, but she wanted that fifty dollars. She wanted to be able to buy decent groceries for herself, wanted to get more snacks for Nora, wanted to get a new t-shirt and the latest issue of the comic she’d been following. Fifty bucks wouldn’t get her all of that, sure, but it could make a decent dent. 

She smiled as Mack turned around, even if the glare on her face hurt a little. She’d worry about turning that opinion around later. Maybe she could bind Mack into friendship the way she had Metzli. After all, that one had been a rocky start but had still turned out okay. Maybe she could catch lightning in a bottle twice with Mack. For now, she reached out and took the bill. “I appreciate it,” she called at Mack’s retreating back, ignoring the quiet guilt that settled into her chest. It was fine, wasn’t it? This was fine. 

—

Mackenzie Ross wasn’t a bad person. Okay, well she was, but it was for other reasons. Reasons she wouldn’t dare tell some random kid who just sweet talked her out of $50 over nothing. But she was hurt. She had set out to genuinely find somebody who could help take her mind off of all the shitty things that had happened over the past few years, but what was it she was always told by her publicist? Don’t make your problems, my problems. Which never made sense to Mackenzie, considering he was the one that got her out of problems, except for the biggest one she had ever created. She wasn’t here to pass off her problems onto anyone else though. She simply wanted an escape and a little bit of normalcy, whatever that meant.

Stopping and turning back around, she forced down the lump that had formed in her throat, “Can I at least ask why you did it? If you needed help, you could’ve just asked me, instead of skirting around the truth that you don’t know what you’re talking about. I made that post, because I was looking for something to help take my mind off of some really personal shit. Acting has been my entire life, and now I’m stuck in some rando town without any family, friends, familiarity, and I just wanted something fun and somewhat normal…at least to me.” Mackenzie was so defeated at that point, “I’m not as bad as the media makes me out to be. I fucked up, but I still have a heart. You know what? Forget it. Whatever you’re going through kid, I’m sorry. But maybe consider other people’s feelings before you take advantage of them. Here.” She reached in her pocket and pulled out another $50 bill, “I had it on the off chance that you were legit, and we could do this again, but if you’re that desperate for money, then take it.” Tossing it on the table, Mackenzie walked off feeling a little more broken than excited about what she thought the day would actually hold.

—

She was a little surprised when Mack turned around, because she hadn’t been expecting it. When you swindled someone, they didn’t tend to stick around. They were usually angry, embarrassed, upset. For a moment, Cass was a little afraid that the movie star might punch her — but instead, she spoke. She asked why Cass did it, and that acidic guilt crawled up in the back of her throat like a physical thing. She knew it hadn’t been nice or kind or even okay. On some level, she knew that. This was the kind of thing other fae did, fae who made her feel that desperate need to prove that she was different. It wasn’t supposed to be Cass.

But she’d never really been given much of a choice, had she?

“Most people wouldn’t,” she said with a quiet shrug. “Most people only help you if you make them help you.” It was why she’d tried so hard to get Jonas to promise her free meals when she’d helped him get that body out of her cave, why she’d bound Kuma and refused to unbind her even when it became clear that the bind was going to kill her, why she’d forced Metzli into friendship against their will. Cass loved humans, but she didn’t really trust them. They’d never really earned as much.

Shockingly, Mackenzie Ross didn’t punch her in the face. Instead, she held out more money, and Cass ached at the sight of it. She should have felt good, shouldn’t she? She should have felt nice and accomplished and happy to be offered more cash without binding her way into it. So why did she feel sick? Why did she feel like the worst person in the world right now? “No,” she said quietly, despite how desperately she wanted to take the bill. Fifty more bucks could feed her a little while longer, could even get her a pillow or something for the cave. But if she’d feel like this every time she sat on it, it wouldn’t be worth it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m just… hungry.”

—

Mackenzie tossed around the idea of turning back around, but just couldn’t. She did, however, stop walking, “I’m not coming back for the money. Get food with it. Get what you need. And if you need help or whatever, next time just ask me.” She turned her head slightly to somewhat acknowledge Cass, but refused to look at her. “There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, Cass. But swindling people is dangerous. I don’t want to find out something bad happened to you, because you think you’re being sly. It’s not worth it.” A tinge of guilt coursed through her own veins. She knew she needed help with her problems. Someone to talk to. Someone who would even just sit silently with her while she cried, but her career depended on it. The relationships with any person of significance in her life depended on it. She was absolutely being a hypocrite at that moment, and she couldn’t dare admit it for her own fears of not being able to survive the truth.

“I’ll see you around.” Mackenzie’s tone had shifted slightly from being upset to just being sad. And instead of running any errands or seeing more of what Wicked’s Rest had to offer, she instead, walked home back to silence and her own thoughts.

—

It hurt when Mackenzie had looked at her with such betrayal in her eyes, but somehow it hurt more now that she refused to look at Cass at all. The oread shifted her weight, feeling awful about what she’d done, feeling stupid for doing it and feeling stupid for feeling stupid. She did this kind of thing all the time, had grown up doing this kind of thing. It was the way things worked, wasn’t it? You did what you had to do in order to survive, and you didn’t let yourself feel guilty for it because it was necessary. She only ever stole from people who could afford to part with the money, and a movie star definitely made that list. So why did she feel like garbage now? 

Mack almost sounded worried about her, like she was genuinely afraid that Cass might bite off more than she could chew or swindle the wrong person. And that, too, felt like a physical blow. To steal from someone and have them express concern towards you instead of simple anger… It was strange. It felt strange. She watched as Mack walked away, her head swimming. She didn’t reply to the goodbye, didn’t trust her own voice. All she could do was stare after the movie star until she disappeared. The bills Mack had given her felt heavy in her arms, felt hot as if they were burning. Cass shoved them into her pocket, anyway. She’d find a way to live with herself; she didn’t have much of a choice.

[holocene-sims]

15 oc questions!

i was tagged by @stargazer-sims - thank you so much!! ❤️ i've never done one of these tags in a character's voice, so it's fun to get extra practice writing as them 😊

i'll tag:

@dandylion240 @bl-sims-anime @idyllicephemera @elderwisp @nectar-cellar @minty-plumbob @crazykissim @mangosimoothie & anyone else who wants to do it!

ANYWAY i'm doing this for grant! idc if y'all have heard enough about grant, the honor goes to him

are you named after anybody?

my actual legal first name is joseph, which is my grandfather's name! so, uh, somehow yes, i am named after somebody! but i'm 99.9% sure it was out of laziness and not out of love. well, no, i'm 100% sure of that. it's not like my mom has ever respected her parents...but that's a whole different thing, we're not going there.

when was the last time you cried?

i'm a crybaby, come on! i'm known for being very emotional. i mean, sad animal commercials make me weepy. externally weepy. like tears running down my cheeks weepy. but the actual last time i cried? hmm, maybe like a week ago? i don't know if i could tell you why, though. i probably blocked it out of my memory! i'm great at that.

do you have kids?

do, uh, do cats count? because i do have a cat who i love and put sweaters on. sweaters! and he loves it.

do you use sarcasm?

it depends? sarcasm usually feels mean-spirited to me, so i'm not super into it, but then again, that's half the conversations i have with my family. i know in that case, though, that it's all bullshit humor and not serious. anyway, i think what i'm saying in a roundabout way is it depends a lot on context and audience. i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or be a dick. i like being nice.

what's the first thing you notice about people?

okay, listen, in the most normal and not at all weird way possible, people's hairlines are always what i see first. i've been the first witness to so, so many fake blondes accidentally showing their dark roots or to dudes going bald. i'm sorry! i'm just freakishly tall! i can't not look down at all your heads unless i'm kneeling down on the ground. i'm not trying to spy on or judge the state of your hair, i promise.

what's your eye color?

brown! justice for brown eyes, the best eye color. i love being able to go out in the sun and not have my eyeballs bleached by the light. also, there's really not that many brown eyes in my family, so that's kind of fun. i'm a special boy.

scary movies or happy endings?

why not both? i love a good blair witch project, final destination moment. i also love a nice mushy gushy romantic movie with a happy ending. hell, i'd watch both in the same evening. start off with a fucked up horror movie and end it with pride and prejudice. sounds like a perfect night to me.

any special talents?

probably not anything relevant? i mean, i've played skyrim on survival mode without dying before. oh, and i guess back when i was still playing hockey, uh, a decade ago, i could score with the michigan goal pretty easily, which isn't all that common. in high school, i got my school the state championship win with that skill. but meh, i don't know how many people in the world know enough about hockey to care about that.

where were you born?

michigan! the part everyone forgets about, aka the upper peninsula, aka diet canada.

what are your hobbies?

i like to think i'm a well rounded person. i enjoy the super basic stuff like listening to music, but i'm also into into video games and tabletop RPGs like d&d. cooking and baking are fun for me, too. i did get into art semi-recently as well. i kind of had to have something i could do while laying down, like, 24/7 after i had spinal surgery.

if you're ever bored, just go fuck up your spine. you'll have SO much time on your hands to get new hobbies. actually, don't. please don't. i've been suffering for years and will continue to. i'm dying. don't be me. pretty please. pinky promise.

oh, duh, i also forgot that i'm into astronomy and um, planes. look, i'm not a car guy, i'm a plane guy. that's more fun, right?

have you any pets?

he's a cat named turtle, so, like, you know, the best cat in the world. sometimes i think about getting him a cat friend to hang out with but then i worry he'd get jealous, so i haven't done it. who am i to say whether or not he wants to live with a friend? or a sibling? being alone is so valid. i respect that.

what sports do you play/have you played?

oh, well, like i said, i played hockey for a really long time, like from, hmm, i think kindergarten and on! i even got a scholarship in college to play hockey. i'm glad to be done, though. some things ruined it for me. long story. but these days, uhh, i don't play any real sports anymore. i like hiking, you know, and i do work out at least every other day because it makes me feel better in a lot of ways, but that's kind of it. my sports days are over. i don't even skateboard anymore and i used to do that all the time.

how tall are you?

like 6'7" - though, i am rounding down a little bit. yes, down. not up. also, don't ask me how i ended up that tall. i have exactly one relative who is also tall. hi, chelsea! anyway, i am an accident or one hell of a joke. i'm laughing, i swear. it's very funny.

favorite subject in school?

i was overall a good student because i studied pretty hard but i was for sure a science and math kid. i loved physics in high school. and then in college, i got some way more fun science and math classes. just so you know, i am really holding back right now from rambling like a total nerd loser about my college classes...

but i mean, if you wanna learn about, i don't know, quantum mechanics or flight control systems, hit me up.

dream job?

that's such an easy question! when i was really, really young, i wanted to be a weather man, but then i changed my mind and wanted to be a pilot because, i don't know, i hit that time in every child's life where they have to become obsessed with a form of transportation. but then i never let that obsession go. my parents wanted me to be a doctor the whole time, though, but eww, no, i'm good. anyway, the dream of flying planes never died and somehow it worked out. now if i could just, uh, you know, go back to that job soon, that'd be sick.

[blazehedgehog]

Thoughts on EGS basically locking games to it exclusively by throwing obscene money at them because otherwise it's a garbage service and basically Chinese spyware?

Listen, I don't really like EGS (that is, the Epic Game Store) but you don't have to sound so... borderline racist about it.

In truth, it's almost a little worrying how pretty much impossible it is to topple Steam's control of the market. Epic gave it pretty much the best shot anyone has ever given it, pouring millions, possibly even billions of dollars into giving away HUNDREDS of free games and tying dozens more up in exclusivity deals. They played hardball in the press, calling Valve's practices out, and providing developers a better, more profitable deal.

And the needle barely even budged. There are a growing number of stories of developers who finally release their games on Steam only to see orders of magnitude more customers than they ever had on EGS. And thanks to the lawsuit with Apple, it's been revealed in pretty black and white terms that all those free games they give away do not necessarily translate to sales.

Because let's be fair here: Valve may not exactly be a very great company? Even in a best-case scenario, they are difficult to motivate because of their explicit company structure. Though Valve eventually produces some of the greatest games ever made, their mantra when it comes to managing and maintaining the health of certain parts of their company is often one of "eh, good enough." You have to rock the boat pretty hard to get them to take real action.

That's not me rallying around EGS. Or Origin (sorry, "The EA App"), or Battle Net, or anything else.

I go out of my way to avoid those applications when I can. Spyware or not, they just suck to use, and I don't need yet another username and password to keep track of, or another client sitting dormant for 99% of my computer's uptime. The only non-Valve storefront I like is GOG, and GOG's client (GOG Galaxy) isn't very good and may actually be making their service worse, given they route all game installs through Galaxy now instead of just giving you a regular PC installer.

But it is hard to be a fan of a company like Valve who, at least publicly, seems to be so indifferent to the people who built their throne.

Their development mantra almost feels like hedonism at times. Like Gabe Newell is splayed out on couch somewhere wearing a toga, an olive branch crown adorning his head, being fed grapes like "Left 4 Dead 3? Ehh... whatever."

They are basically what happens when an indie studio has infinite money. There's no incentive to do anything for anyone because there's zero external motivation.

It would be nice if somebody, at some point, lit a fire under their asses and actually got them to focus up and try for once, again. Instead of decades of dead end experiments, most of which probably never even make it into the public view. I love Valve, but that affords me the ability to say that being a Valve fan has sucked big time over this last decade and a half.

And the fact that Epic could burn all that money, all that effort on EGS, and not even scratch them? That's scary.

And now Epic has just revealed their brand new terms to publish games on EGS: for the first six months, you get to keep 100% of your revenue. Which would be great, if not for the fact that, y'know, as I established in this very blog, nobody is really buying tons of games on EGS. This just means Epic gets to have more exclusives but now they don't have to pay for them anymore. They aren't even getting that launch window revenue anymore.

Epic isn't just falling on their sword here, they're bending over backwards to do it, in the hopes of shaking someone, ANYONE off of Steam. But Valve is just that entrenched.

[freeworldallahexecutivembaclass]

Very very true I'm not a religious debator I don't argue with Muslims , 5 Percenters or Israelites I'm an ex drug dealer that got kicked off my team along time ago but I redeemed myself and is on a much better team now ROC Nation literature my spot on the bench I will take it , it's ROC and Jay Z maybe I will get to perform ( play ) one day but just being on Jay Z roster is okay for me that's Hov and I could just say I'm on his team and it be true but I got on with him because I'm a builder my program and that I eventually figure it out one day because I seek education like I will eventually find myself an job , and somewhere say to live that fits me and my lifestyle , he paid for my life at an auction thank you Jay Z and Beyonce black royalty bailed me out and he offered me a job of recording music with his team if I could just get there I been in drama with Muslims , 5 Percenters and Christians , city workers and black kids that is using voodoo witchcraft on me along with police and correction officers please get off of me and no I ain't cool with me disrespecting me ever and never will be and I don't answer to people trying to be god over me that will never work for me and that is no good and I really don't know a true religious person that does that no thank you and I always loved books since my mom's house and started reading again when I moved to Brooklyn and no I don't get into circles and attempt to let somebody tell me who I am or who they think I am when the book say different and whoever I say I am that is what I am and which ain't really important no more and no it ain't nobody god over me or me god over them and I don't mess with religious people that will kill or hurt people because of religious debates that is dissension and weakness and how you black or Spanish and haven't read Carter G Woodson . The miseducation of a negro yet you got to read it definite banger and classic get your mind right my cousin gave it to me she a CEO must of meant read it , I read it mad times instant classic you gotta get that book and no I don't mess with voodoo witchcraft or people that practice I wish they will get off of me with that voodoo curse and yes I'm about money building helping is my passion of mines and I got famous from doing it and yes I'm a king just like you though by having knowledge of self I know who you are who you truly are and yes I was a drug dealer that was my vocation my trade and skills and yes I legalized drugs so the Dope boys can get out of jail and stay out of jail on my honor I was one that was my daily activity and no I don't knock their hustle I know what is for me and I moved on from the street life I more like pass laws to help them now because no I don't mess with people that talk to me disrespectfully no disrespect and no press for me and no stress for me I just want to get it to you that I do run my own life and I'm done with every game, case and places where you playing with me at and leave me alone I'm about accomplishing stuff and of course big business and I guess I gotta learn concert performance that is what the Ed Sheeran apple music tour is for it is for me he did that for me to learn , thank you .

It is very good to see Camron and Mase again on their show I just saw it and Mase claiming me well it is about time we from the same borough they would be considered my OG my big homies my family that is true basically I'm from their family tree the way it is with me they took me on as a helper a builder in New York and the world and Cam referred me to Roc Nation me just saying it makes it true that how much family we are and Joey Fat Joe from the bronx just put me back on the team the bench which I accepted and Mase and Cam go back as my big brothers that make dope hot music and got their new show please tune it is hot and ask Mase what's with album your music hot bro and I sit on the bench and be quiet what had happened it just some guys I grew up with including my brother which is their brother we all family got me back now I'm like an football player with it I got hit hard by a 300 pound linebacker now back to the huddle and snap that is people I knew since elementary plus my aunt's sisters and cousins over there off the females in our family we aight so their is no trying to kill each other no we will fight like brothers do all the time because we brothers but I'm an athlete and I want to play again I'm on the bench but I do gotta train myself I just been hit hard get back up and go back to my team , Mase , Cam , Vado , Jae Millz , MK we all from the same neighborhood and is family so yes we are cool and all them got super super dope ass music and movements that you need to tune into I know I am and I can't say nothing different .

This is my culture and my house in Harlem and where Teyana Taylor is from she from my hometown in New York City I love her music and movies and no I'm not racist neither is my culture and remember my brother and sister is white Caucasian if anything is said that seems racist in my culture it is to explain the injustices and all the inequalities done to us by another people for centuries that left a scar on us as a community as a people as a people in general in job offerings job opportunities the wages we are paid and then how we see and love ourselves and our fate and what we feel our probabilities and chances in life are for us which was and kinda still is created for us by another people and even as Individuals as humans we suffer from done to us against us as a people black people I came to realize her movie is teaching me about life and taking care of myself 1001 pushups and about my resume writing , job interview and cover letter skills then I have to show the courts I rehabilitated with that program I'm in now the bridge back to life program referred to me by industry people and I have to accept that where I'm at in life and go from there the order is

Cover letters

Resumes

Job application letters

Job interviews like learning how to talk on the job interview

Then you get the job and then chase the big stuff like stardom some do it without a job my brand is my intelligence and I do own my own library in New York City with an education and knowledge everything is possible so need to go crazy or turn into an active shooter when you have a great resource like a library I own my library and I'm proud of myself learning the correct procedure and process is great but you know in a world where people unprofessionalism can cause you anxiety and worry is a major problem that is all our curse . I have to learn my way in the job market and then go from there and live a good normal existence , so sorry to her your music is dope to me Teyana I love you and everything about you and your movie is good and yes I remember Mike from NBC over there in Rockefeller center he shot me down for a job a while back and it was my unpreparedness that made him do that now I have professors like Prince Harry that stack me with books , Teyana thank you , and I got a chance to go to my friend Nas store the Sweet Chick store it was cozy and put me back at home in New York City that was cool , Love Nas . Riddle solved lotta work to do and train hope the best for you read the books and learn it is amazing we make ourselves by the education we give ourselves .

Thank you to the city of Brooklyn New York City for the Biggie smalls statue in front of 360 Adams street the statue symbolizing that I have stage fright that is what it means and what is taking me so long is stage fright hopefully I break out of that as soon I get on a stage any stage I said thank you to Brooklyn I have to learn my way out of that it is my 3rd picture or statue as me as the late great deceased rapper Biggie Smalls of course his memory will live on forever through his mom's and his kids , his community and all communities especially communities in Brooklyn his city his borough from the 5 Boroughs of New York City in honor of New York City .

[dinodinodin0]

The other woman • E.M

Pairing: Eddie x best friend!reader

Warnings: non-mutual pining, slight angst, cliff hanger, fem!reader, mention if periods

Summary: y/n is Eddie's best friend since childhood, when she realizes she might like him, she puts it off because "in a cheerleader, he doesn't date cheerleaders," but then she notices him glancing at her friend, Chrissy.

Part two part three part four part five

Eddie and you have been best friends since forever. You've taken baths together when you were babies, you sat with him on the swings every recess. He was the first to know about your first period, and first to comfort you. Your family was basically his by now, and though you were basically raised inseperable, you never viewed him as your brother or anything. He was just Eddie.

That was.. until recently.

You got on the cheerleading team your freshman year, and he was estatic for you.

"now, I don't usually like cheerleaders but I gotta say youre messing up my streak," he joked, ruffling your hair.

"yeah yeah, you just like that you'll get to see me in a cheer uniform," you joked, shooting him a look.

He blushes, but quips back as quick as he usually did, "I mean you'd look beautiful in a potato sack, but jumping around in a short skirt? Oh no. Never. Definitely not." He was being sarcastic, but you sensed some defensiveness in his tone.

That was the first time you questioned it. Your relationship. Him calling you 'beautiful' rang in your ears the entire time he walked you home.

"hey sweetheart, y/n? Earth to y/n central, are you there?" He smiled, leaning on your doorframe.

You shook your head, hoping somehow, your brain would act as an Etch-a-Sketch and erase the silly things you were thinking about.

"I asked if you wanted a ride to school, since I just got these babies," he spun his van keys on his finger.

"yeah.. yeah. Totally Ed," you smiled, looking up at him. "See you tomorrow mornin'?"

"see ya ' pretty girl."

Those names he had always called you suddenly made your face flush bright red. They suddenly felt different to you.

Now it was your senior year, being right before the grade cut off you had already turned 18, and Eddie was repeating a grade. He swore 84' would be his year.

He regularly picked you up to and from school in his van, and you grew accustomed to his music. You loved when he played black Sabbath specifically. He sometimes let you play your music aswell, and though he huffed and pretended to hate it, you'd glance over and see him bobbing his head and tapping his foot. You never mentioned it.

You sat at his table, sitting alongside his dnd group, but you were always sat the closest to Eddie. It was your spot. Seriously, he'd chew out anyone who tried to sit there. You admired how he took in younger outcasts, and you were always the first to greet them with a smile. You were the welcome committee, and you really did make them feel like they belonged.

However, you were still a cheerleader. You found out pretty quickly that you didn't like them though, and that you weren't like them. They kept you on the team because well, it's not like they can kick you off because they don't like you, and also partially to your friend Chrissy.

Chrissy was somebody you met in middle school. Your weren't as close as you and Eddie, but she was your best girl-friend. When she told you she had made it on the cheerleading team, you two jumped for joy together as she hugged you as hard as she could. Chrissy never refused the others advances like you did, but you didn't blame her. She's so suspectable to peer pressure, but never ever would she personally be mean.

You had practice every Wednesday, and Eddie waited in the parking lot each time to pick you up. You're pretty sure he made some deals while he waited aswell, so it wasn't a total loss for him like you insisted. A few moments before practice ended, he'd come to the field and sit on the bleachers.

You didn't mind, though to anyone else it may have been embarrassing. He didn't mind being called a freak every week if he got to watch you practice for a bit, or at least, you thought he was looking at you. Eventually, his gaze shifted.

Eventually, you and Chrissy rode in his van together.

He didn't tap his foot to your music anymore. In fact, it was an anomaly if he let you play it anymore. Now, he tapped his foot to Chrissy's music.

You loved Chrissy, and you loved Eddie. But you didn't think Chrissy understood that you loved eddie. You weren't even sure at first, but once Chrissy started to get closer to him, it was a pressing fact.

Your blood burned bright crimson each time she made him laugh. Your core felt heavy, and you could no longer maintain eye contact, but you love both of them, so you ignore it.

"hey y/n, mind if Eddie drops you off at my house too?" She asked.

"uhh. Yeah. Course!" You say, glancing over at Eddie who just shrugged.

You were at Chrissy's house now, and after you greeted her parents she almost ran you upstairs to her room.

She shut the door carefully, and turned to you immediately.

"i have to tell you something." She smiled, smile wide and eyes gleaming.

You sit on her plush bed, crossing your legs. It was so much comfier than yours, so sometimes if you hung out you'd just chill out on it.

"oh yeah?"

"yeah!"

She sat next to you, gasping your hands in hers and bringing her face close to yours.

"promise you won't tell nobody?" She whispers, holding out her pinky.

You wrap your finger around hers, course, you say.

"I think I have a crush on Eddie."

Oh no.

Oh fuck no.

This. Is terrible. This is the worst.

It'd honestly be better if you just dropped dead, or like.. got struck by lightning. Maybe falling into the ocean in a forever locked car.

But this? Fuuuuuuuck no.

You choke down the lump in your throat, and try not to stammer.

"o-oh! That's great!" You manage to say through gritted teeth.

"yeah! He's so cute, isn't he?"

Of course he is

"and he's so sweet, he watches me practice and drives me home,"

He watched me first. He drived me first.

"and he lets my play my music in his van! Y'know, I think he actually likes it, I always see him sneakily nodding his hea-"

"hey, y'know what Chris? I'm feeling a bit sick. Headache, or something." You say, smiling bitterly and turning for her door.

"are you okay? We have headache medication-"

"yeah. I know. I'm just gonna go home though, if that's okay,"

"yeah of course that okay, I hope you'll be better tomorrow!" She calls, but her front door was already closed.

You walk back to your home, as a creeping realization hits you that your house is the other way. Like, miles in the wrong direction. You stomp and try to trudge in, but as rocks fill your shoes and the heels of your feet start to sore, you sigh. You have to find a payphone.

You dial in Eddie's number.

"hey. Can you pick me up? I'm a block away from Chrissys house."

A/N: omg. Please. Sorry I just had to write this as soon as the idea wringled it's way into my noggin. I'm gna continue this probably because I am FLOWIMG with ideas.

Tag list *ask if you'd like to be added :)* @rebelcthulhu

[beels-burger-babe]

A Pain You'll Soon Regret - Pt. 1

***This...This is glorious. Oh ho, I will most definitely give you this fic @millenniumofpain! I will do so gladly! Thanks for sending in this great request!***

Poly!MC Summary: MC and the demon lords get in a fight resulting in MC leaving. They planned on going to Purgatory Hall until things cool off, but they never quite make it there. TW: Heavy Angst, Violence, I don't know what to tag this, but there is a pretty nasty verbal fight, Gore/Injury Part Two: HERE, Part Three: HERE, Part Four: HERE

You growled to yourself, angrily wiping tears from your face, as you marched away from the House of Lamentation, away from your partners.

Well, you said marching. It was more of a stumble what with the way your intoxicated brain could barely walk forward. You wished you could say you didn't know how things got like this, but the evidence had been there all along. It was in the slow build of tensions that increased and increased until they overflowed. It was in the way everyone would bite their tongues more and more frequently rather than communicating their thoughts.

Everyone had little things about the relationship between the eight of you that bothered them, and no one said a word until the words could no longer be held back.

It all started after you came back from clubbing way past curfew with Asmodeus.

The two of you were definitely drunk and were giggling messes as you did your best to hold the other up.

You both jumped when the hallway light turned on to reveal Lucifer and the others waiting there for you.

You bit back a sob as you thought of the vicious words that came out of their mouths.

"You're so reckless! Do you know what could've happened to a human like you this late at night in this state?! For Diavolo's sake MC, I expected this behaviour from Asmodeus, but I expected more from you!" Lucifer shouted Asmodeus groaned and leaned against you. "We were just having some fun. It's my date night. Don't get your wings in a twist." Beelzebub glared at him. "Just because it's your date night with MC doesn't excuse you putting them in danger. You couldn't even defend yourself right now, forget about defending them!" You frowned and stepped forward. "Guys relax. Nothing happened." Mammon scoffed, "That's always how it is with you! You think that just because nothin' has happened to ya that it's fine. You ain't invincible MC. Gah, it's like you're just throwin' ya self into dangerous situations just to get us to come to save ya again!" Satan raised an eyebrow at Mammon's comments and crossed his arms over his chest. "Maybe that's what they want. Attention. Is that the real reason why you keep being so reckless?" he tsks and scowls at you, "If you wanted attention MC you could've asked one of your seven boyfriends." You looked at them all with wide eyes. "Wha- I do NOT do all of this for attention!" Levi snarled, "Then why do you do it? Huh? Why else would you get drunk in one of the most notorious clubs in the Devildom? Why else would you date all seven of the Lords of the Devildom?" You stepped back as though you had been slapped by Levi's words. You glanced around at the others, but no one rose to your defence. You met Belphie's gaze hoping, that maybe as the only one to have not spoken up, that he'd be on your side. He just snickered and gave you a perplexed look. "What? Don't expect me to step in. You got yourself in this mess." You stood shocked and hurt; almost unwilling to believe that your partners, the people who you thought loved you unconditionally, verbally attacked you. Anger bubbled and boiled inside of you until you couldn't contain it anymore. "If you guys have such a problem with it, then maybe I won't depend on you anymore! I'm reckless, yeah, I admit, but I never did it for attention and I certainly never put myself in danger just so you all could play the hero," you turned your anger to Leviathan, "And in case you forgot, you all agreed to date me! I thought it was because you all loved me as much as I loved you but apparently fucking not! So if you don't mind, I'm going to leave now like the attention-driven child that you all think I am!"

Not your classiest moment, but you didn't care. It was clear you weren't wanted at the time, and you were too tired to handle the brutal words that they were throwing at you. So you left. Which brought you here, stumbling your way towards Purgatory Hall, drunk, and sobbing as you shivered from the cold Devildom air. You could just see the shape of the Hall ahead of you when you suddenly tripped and found yourself tumbling to the ground. You winced as you felt your knees and hands scrape against the ground. You groaned and turned yourself over to inspect the injuries. "Just when the night couldn't get any worse," "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" You stiffened as three demons came out of the woods around you and began circling you like vultures about to swoop in on their prey. The tallest one snickered. "Looks like the Lords' little pet strayed too far from its masters. Lucky us~"

A shorter, rounder one smiled sharply as drool trickled from its mouth. "Their loss, our gain," it leaned forward and inhaled deeply before sighing in pleasure. "Oh, get a whiff of that fear~ Just, delicious! Do you think it's true when they say that human tears really do add seasoning to its meat?" You tried to scramble away from it, as your heart pounded in your chest, but yelped as your back bumped against a curvier one. Its long nails dug into your shoulders as it secured its hands near your neck. "Only one way to find out." You were in trouble. These demons clearly had no intention of letting you go. You needed to get out of there before it was too late. You jammed the heel of your palms against the back of the wrists of the demon that holding you down, while you leaned backwards away from it. You were able to get just enough slack to roll away from the demon before jumping back to your feet. You were still surrounded, but at least now you weren't defenceless on the ground. Progress.

You did your best snarl, one that you and Mammon had jokingly practiced together one day, and glared fiercely at them. "Do you have any idea who you're messing with? I could have you all killed with just a snap of my fingers. You have one chance to run away, or I promise you that no one will ever be able to find your sorry corpses."

The tall one laughed and smirked at you. "And what exactly are you going to do? Scratch us with your blunt little nails? Bite us with your flat teeth?" The round one perked and began to hop excitedly. "Oh! Oh! Maybe they'll summon the lords to do it for them! Such a pathetic thing doesn't stand a chance on its own."

The curvy one wore a sickening grin as it leaned down mockingly at you. "So, you gonna call your guard dogs or what?"

You froze. You couldn't summon the brothers. Technically, you could, but not at this moment. Not after that fight. They had basically screamed at you about how they were tired of you getting yourself into situations exactly like this and then come crying to them for help. And what did you do? Take off and prove them right. They didn't want to be your heroes. They didn't want you.

You were on your own in this, and there was no way you could fight and win. Without a second thought, you turned towards Purgatory Hall and ran. The laughter of the demons rang behind menacingly. You barely got five steps away before a set of claws slashed deep into your ankle. You screamed out as you collapsed roughly to the ground, making your forehead against the dirt road.

You twisted onto your side to see the round demon drooling over your heavily bleeding leg with a nearly psychotic expression. "I love it when they try to run." That was the only warning you got before it sunk its razor-sharp teeth into your calf. You wailed loudly in pain as you used your other foot to try and kick the demon off of you, but it wasn't so willing to let go of its meal. The tall one grabbed your arm, bending you foreword as it roughly folded it behind your back. You cried out as you felt your shoulder pop out of its socket and nausea swirl in your stomach. "Not so tough now, are you?" It purred in your ear as it licked the tears off of your cheeks. You choked on your sobs as it roughly bit into the flesh on your collar, and weakly struggled in its grasp. "Let go of me! H-Help! Somebody! Help me!"

The curvy one finally approached you, burying its fingers into your hair before harshly yanking your head towards it. You screamed before it slapped its clawed hand across your face. Bile threatened to rise out of your throat as you felt your own blood drip down your cheek.

Spots began to blur your vision as the demon leered down at you with its menacing eyes. You felt your stomach drop as a realization hit you. This was how you would die.

You whimpered as you thought of the brothers, and how you never got to even kiss them or tell them goodbye one final time. Hell, you didn't even get to see them smile at you. Instead, you were reminded that you could never be what they needed you to be.

You would die scared, in pain, and unloved.

The curvy demon laughed as it wrapped its hands around your throat. You struggled to breathe and whined as, for just a moment, you saw Belphegore choking you to death once more, and not this monster. You morbidly thought that it was only fitting for you to be killed the same way twice. The demon leaned closer to you, demanding that you meet its un-naturally yellow eyes as it smiled. "You realize it now don't you? That this is your death bed? That no one is coming for the pathetic little human. I bet no one would even-" Before it could finish its sentence a blindingly bright beam burst across the side of its face sending it flying across the ground. You could hear the other demon curse and began to take off as two voices shouted and more bright flashes were sent in their direction. As your vision began to fade, you saw tear-filled, innocent blue eyes look down at you and a small mouth framed by chubby cheeks try to speak. But it was too late. With a final whine, you felt your eyes roll to the back of your skull and your mind plummet into darkness. ***This request is just evil and I love it. There will be a part two. So stay tuned for more pain. Hope you enjoyed it @millenniumofpain! Thank you for allowing me to write this!!***

[jean-kayak]

Anon Request: heyyy! so like i LOVED the haikyuu x thick black gf, do you think you could do it for the generations of miracles too? if that’s a lot maybe just akashi because i love that man

A/N: Here it is, anon! And I did all of them for you, so I hope you like it! (and yes it is 2 am)

Word Count: 2.5k

Haikyuu!! version here and here!

》Poor baby would be overwhelmed

》He wouldn't know what to do lmfao, and he probably be a stuttering mess when he first meets you

》He's probably nervous to touch you at first because he doesn't really know where to start and because there's so much of you

》But once he gets comfortable enough, he always wants you on top of him or on him in some way shape or form

》He always denies you when you think you might crush him because he really loves the weight of you on him, and he probably prefers to be the little spoon

》I feel like he's not big on getting head, but when you do, he feels like his life has changed

》It feels so good, he doesn't know what to do or where to go lmfao, so he just ends up squirming a ton, the moans he's making completely out of his control

》His body definitely feels like jelly when he cums, and he probably won't move for a while lmfao

》Now when he goes down on you? He was mesmerized by how much slick you had produced and all you guys had done was made out

》He'll just lay there between your legs, gripping your thighs tightly when you squirm under his gaze, but he can't help but watch

》He'll play with your nipples, run his fingers just shy of touching you where you want him just to see if you'll get even wetter

》And when he finally tastes you, he wonders why he wasn't doing this sooner, and you don't think you've seen him move with such enthusiasm off the court before

》He's moaning into your folds, his hands digging into your thighs as he eats you out with more fervor

》In that moment in time, he was content with staying in between your legs for the rest of his life

》But then you finally slept together, and he really thought that the air had been snatched from his lungs

》He can barely last long when he slides in, and he doesn't even move when he bottoms out lmfao, he just rests his face in your neck

》His hands are just scrambling and grabbing all over your body as he tries to stop himself from cumming and he hasn't even moved yet

》He obviously doesn't last long 💀 but he makes sure he cums, and the moment he slides out, he's out like a light lmfao

》And he definitely goes and buys you a ring the next day

》Fangirls, who? Mans forgets them the moment his eyes land on you

》Like seriously, he literally ignores them and only talks to you, walking right past them, and he probably doesn't realize that they're standing there

》Your boobs are definitely his favorite part of you, he'll lay on them, touch them, squeeze them, doesn't matter, his hands are always on them

》He's eccentric in public, but the moment you go down on him, he's nothing but a stuttering mess, moans and whimpers the only thing coming from him

》It literally takes everything in him to not buck up into your mouth, which feels like heaven,

》Puts a hand on your head to try and ground himself because he definitely feels like he's floating

》When he cums, the world seems to just disappear, and you have to rub over his face to make sure he's okay because he hasn't moved in a while

》And after you've made him feel spineless, it's only right for him to return the favor of course

》Once he starts though, he doesn't really plan on stopping and he never does it to just return the favor

》His eyes widen when he realizes how soaked you are when he brushes his fingers over your folds, his ministrations soaking his hand and wrist

》You're producing so much that he can't let it go to waste, so he's sliding in between your legs, and he freezes in shock for a second before attaching his mouth to your folds

》He definitely wants to stay there for the rest of his life, practically drowning in your slick, not really caring if it kills him

》Coaxes you to orgasm quickly just so he can taste more of you, that becoming his only priority

》And he makes sure to catch every last drop, the last thing he wants to do is waste it

》And when he's finally inside you, he tries to chuckle, thinking that there's no way you can feel this good, but it's cut off with a garbled moan

》You really do feel this good, your cunt hot and wet, sucking him back in every time he pulls out

》He feels a shudder run up his spine, his body practically shaking with euphoria as he can't focus on anything else but you

》His eyes roll when you clamp around him, and his orgasm comes out of nowhere, his body going rigid

》He can barely catch himself, his forehead resting against yours as he tries to calm his heartbeat down. "So, you wanna get married tomorrow?"

》Please, this man would have such a hard time making basic conversation lol

》He has a hard time trying to focus on talking to you because he keeps focusing on your body

》Definitely just freezes in place whenever you wear shorts or anything that shows off your thighs

》You're pretty sure you saw his nose bleeding one time, and he brushed you off when you asked, his face as red as a tomato

》He's like Kuroko, hesitantly touching you because he doesn't know what to do because you're so thick

》Once he gets comfortable and over that completely flustered phase, his hands are continuously on your thighs

》You find him squeezing them softly or laying on them, totally mesmerized by how soft they are

》When you offer to go down on him, he's quick to say that you don't have to, but you insist that you want to do it

》Needless to say, he never tries to convince you otherwise again

》The blush on his face spreads down to his chest, sweat coating his forehead as he has trouble controlling the noises he's making

》And the pleasure is so great that he actually goes silent, the only indication that he's cum is when you feel him shoot down your throat

》You actually have to check on him, and you chuckle softly as you fix his glasses, his breathing ragged

》I feel like he's one of the guys who's never really understood the appeal of going down on somebody, but he's not opposed to it

》And his opinion changes when he finally sees how soaked you get from just a tiny amount of foreplay and when your slick lands on his tongue

》You've actually never seen him put more emotion into something, and he's actually urging you to squeeze his head with your thighs, pushing them together as his fingers dig into them

》You actually have to pull him away from you when you cum, the only thing he's focused on is tasting you

》He really doesn't think you could get any better, but then he feels your walls around him, and he feels his heart skip multiple times

》He really doesn't know what to focus on, and he actually forgets to move, and you have to jolt him out of the trance you put him in

》Even after that, it's like his brain has stopped working lmfao, literally the only thing running through his mind is how warm and tight your walls are

》He groans when he sees your slick all over him, and he hits that spot inside of you, making you clench around him and that's what sends him over the edge

》And he didn't even realize he was that close 💀 "Marriage sounds like a good idea, doesn't it?"

》Ooh boy, this man, literally jaw drops open, hits the floor, and then he's quickly running over to you, trying to flirt with you to the max

》He's actually pretty surprised that he managed to get you, but he's definitely showing you off, making sure everyone knows that you're his

》He loves your ass, literally the only thing he'll pay attention to

》So, if you're back is towards him, you can totally forget about him following the conversation

》Expect him to smack your ass randomly, like outta nowhere

》He'll be the pettiest boyfriend in the world saying shit like "I'll do it if you suck my dick" stupid shit like that 🙄✋🏽

》So, then you do...you suck the soul of out him and this man literally buys you whatever you want

》He can't help but cant his hips, thrusting into your mouth, but it doesn't last long because he's cumming after a couple of thrusts, a deep groan coming out of his throat

》While you're making out, he teases your folds with his fingers, but he stops kissing you when he realizes how wet you are

》His attention is quickly shifted to your cunt, as he slides down your body, pushing your legs to your chest before eating you out like his last meal

》He loses himself in your taste, your juices coating the lower half of his face and dripping down his chin

》You whine from the overstimulation when you cum, and he pulls away but once you recover, his mouth is right back on you

》And he'll either be there or fucking you into the mattress, holding your legs in the same position

》His eyes are rolling in the back of his head, trying to hold back as he fucks into you, a white ring appearing at the base of his dick

》How much slick you produce always amazes him, no matter what he does, and it's all he pays attention to as he fucks you

》He cums way too early for his liking, surprising himself

》But at the same time, it's not like he could really control it with how good you feel around him

》He fucking you through his high, bringing you to yours, and then he's pulling out of you, resting back on his haunches

》"Looks like I'm gonna have to marry you."

》This man tries to act like he's not floored by your body, but he absolutely is

》His eyes are always running over your body whenever you're not looking his way

》Your thighs and your ass are his favorite parts; picks you up so that he can feel them around his waist, his hands splayed on your ass

》Is always laying on your thighs, literally does anything while he's in between them

》When you give him head the first time, he's pretty patient because come on now, my mans is packing

》But he jumps slightly in surprise when you fully take him down your throat, digging his nails into his palm when he sees himself in your throat

》He's literally sinking into whatever furniture he's sitting/laying on because he's never been with someone that could actually take all of him before

》He doesn't really know how to react because he's never felt pleasure like this before

》Got this man's legs twitching lmfao

》He doesn't even move after he cums, just lays there, and there's no way you can move him so you just leave him there 💀

》Now, one thing you'll have to be ready for is when he eats you out

》The first time he gets his mouth on you? His snacks are being thrown out the window

》You're his snack now, and he literally will push your legs up and out of his way, and there's literally nothing you can do to stop him

》He gives overstimulation a new meaning when you meet him, and he doesn't let you go until he's gotten his fill

》He's eating you out more so for his pleasure than yours. Period.

》This man is still lazy though, and he makes you do all the work, so he'll just lay back and let you do all the work as you sink down on him

》But then he feels your walls pulsing around him, and his hands are twitching as he tries to control himself

》The only thing he can do is rest his hands on your hips as you ride him, and he really can't do anything else even if he wanted to

》He starts fucking up into you once he starts reaching his climax, a deep "fuck" leaving him as he shoots into you, and you're not too far behind

》"It's not that big of a deal, but you wanna get married?" (It is that big of a deal 🙄✋🏽)

》He tries to seem cool, calm, collected when he first meets you

》He's not like Atsushi, who tries to pretend like he's not amazed by your body

》He's just trying to play off how you affect him

》I feel like he doesn't have a favorite body part of yours, wanting to show love to every part

》His hands run over every single inch, literally no part of you goes untouched by him

》Like Midorima, he's not really all about receiving head, but that confident persona is gone once you go down on him

》He's never been the one to become speechless, but you literally render him just that, his brain completely blurred, the only thing he can think about is how amazing your mouth is

》He starts to back away from you a little bit lmao because of how good he feels, the pleasure building up in his spine quickly

》He squirms a ton when he cums, and that's all he can do lol, and he doesn't deny you in the future if you want to go down on him

》He wants to pleasure you too, so he'll easily go down on you, but he chuckles in disbelief when he sees your glistening folds

》And he's amazed by how it seems like your arousal is endless, the juices coating his tongue and his face

》Moves his hands out of the way so that he can feel your legs squeezing his head like Midorima

》He eats you out with so much energy, smiling against you when you fall apart, living for the feeling of your legs twitching against his ears from overstimulation

》The first time you sleep together, his plans to take it slow are quickly forgotten

》Your walls seem to swallow him quickly, practically sucking him in, and he groans in surprise

》He wants to move, but if he does, he knows he'll cum in record time, but even the warmth and pulse of your walls is nearly enough to send him over the edge

》He just tries to aim for your g-spot just in case he cums way before you are able to, but that only sends him higher because your walls are clamping around him

》He knows he's not gonna last long, and he'll make it up to you later, but at that moment, he picks up the speed of his hips, his eyes slipping shut

》He has to brace himself when he cums, his hands on either side of your hands, his lungs feeling like they can't get enough air

》"Doesn't marriage sound like an amazing idea to you?"

Tags: @that-chick212

[hyogonokitsune]

hi love!!! I would please like to request something so jdneoe please I'm all blushy while thinking but imagine iwaizumi fucking you in front of the mirror in the locker room after hearing the Japan team talking about you, his precious girlfriend, how they would use you as some fucktoy, he knows you deserve way more than that

hajime knows all the players were watching by the door how you were almost breaking from the pleasure he was giving you, too lost in it you didn't even know they were there

pls this is basically mirror sex and unknown voyeurism for the reader 😭😭😭😭

ofc if you don feel comfortable you don't have to do it!! thanks a lot

this is my first-ever request, so as a prize you win a kissaroo from me to u 😘 this was a very fun idea anon, so thank you for sending it in! I was also blushing while writing it ksjdksdduhjd          

actual locker room talk, (semi-nonconsensual) voyeurism, mirror sex, overstimulation, creampie

2200 words

watching -- iwaizumi hajime x reader

He knew it wasn’t your fault; after all, you couldn’t help how cute you were. You couldn’t help the way the fabric of your skirt clung to your hips, the way the neckline of your blouse dipped down when you bent forward, revealing just a little too much skin. You certainly couldn’t help yourself from gazing at your boyfriend with those cute little bedroom eyes each time you visited him at work; it was a look that he learned early on was unintentional, it was simply your natural reaction to seeing him, and it was one of the little things he loved about you. That gaze was reserved for him and him alone, and it only appeared on your face when you thought no one else was watching.

But someone was always watching you; they just couldn’t help themselves, not when somebody as cute as you was wandering around the gym, trailing after Iwaizumi like a lost puppy, your sweet laughter echoing around the room. The looks they caught you giving to your boyfriend, a small indicator of what you were like behind closed doors, made it difficult for them to not fantasize about you.

Iwaizumi knew this, and to some extent he didn’t mind. Having a gorgeous girlfriend inevitably meant that other guys were going to think about her a little too much, but it didn’t matter what they thought to themselves, because at the end of the day it was him that you went home to.

What he did mind, however, was the way they talked about you. Crowded into the locker room after practice, unaware that he was just outside the open door, the team didn’t hold anything back.

“Did ya see what Y/n was wearing today?” Atsumu asked no one in particular. “That dress didn’t leave much to the imagination, huh?”

“Pretty sure she wasn’t wearing anything underneath,” Hinata said.

“Yeah, I saw the way you were starin’ at her,” Atsumu laughed.

“Can you blame me? When she bent over to pick up that ball….”

Someone whistled then, a low, long note. Several other voices murmured their agreement.

“If she’s looking for some balls to hold, I wouldn’t mind helping her out.” More laughter sounded out; Iwaizumi’s jaw clenched. He was frozen on the spot, unable to tear himself away from the disgusting conversation.

“Yeah? Why don’t you tell her that next time she comes around.”

“Bet she gives crazy good head.”

“Girls like that always do.”

“Fuck, I wouldn’t mind hitting that.”

“She’d probably just lie there and take it, too.”

“Not like I’d want anything else outta her, though.”

Their laughter rang out. Iwaizumi had finally had enough, forcing himself to turn and walk away; it probably wouldn’t have been a good look if the team’s athletic trainer wound up putting them in the hospital.

He definitely knew it wasn’t your fault; not you, his lovely girlfriend who had never asked for any of that attention. The fact that you just existing could elicit such disrespectful comments made him feel more frustration than he knew what to do with. More than the knowledge that other guys were thinking about fucking his girlfriend, he was more bothered by the way they had spoken about you, as if you were just a piece of meat, something interesting for them to play with. He knew better, knew that you were someone to cherish and take care of, someone he had gone out of his way to make feel good countless times.

But he also knew that their comments were, in the end, harmless. He certainly was never going to relay them to you, and as long as you could stay happy, blissfully unaware of what was being said about you, Iwaizumi could shoulder the burden of knowing the team’s true thoughts. He had managed to calm himself down by the next time he saw them, and was successfully managing to ignore what he had overheard.

Up until the next time you stopped by the gym.

When he spotted you across the court, chatting innocently to Ushijima and Atsumu, something in him snapped. He was hyperaware of the lustful way Atsumu was looking down at you, the way the muscles in Ushijima’s arm tensed when you playfully shoved him on the shoulder, laughing at something he had said. It was one thing to listen to the team talk about wanting to fuck you; actually seeing it so plainly on their faces was something else entirely.

Before he was aware of his own intentions, Iwaizumi was making his way over to you, putting a protective arm around your shoulders and tugging you away from the others.

“Y/n,” he said, his voice sounding oddly clipped. “Can you come with me for a second?” He was already leading you away before you could respond.

“Hajime? Is something wrong?” you asked, looking up at him. You could see the muscles in his cheek tensing as he clenched his jaw.

“No, baby,” he said, but you weren’t entirely convinced.

“Okay, because it seems like something’s bothering you,” you pressed as he led you into the team’s locker room.

“Nothing’s bothering me.” He pushed your back up against the row of sinks, large hands firmly gripping your waist. “Just wanted to touch you,” he said, head bending down to press hot kisses into your neck.

“Hajime, not here!” you said, but you made no effort to push him away. You sighed, melting into his touch, hands grasping at the fabric of his shirt as his mouth moved up to your ear, teeth nipping at the soft skin.

“Why not, princess?” he asked, voice low and husky. “Don’t you wanna see how cute you are?”

Turning you around, he pressed his chest up against your spine, hand weaving into your hair to tilt your head back so that he could kiss down your throat. You stared at your reflection in the mirror with wide eyes, gasping as his teeth sank into your skin.

“Don’t you wanna see what you look like when I’m fucking you?”

Your heart was pounding, legs trembling as his hands roamed over your body, lifting up your shirt and tugging down your bra to reveal your breasts. Your nipples hardened when the cold air hit them; Iwaizumi’s fingers brushed over them, pinching and rolling, making you moan softly.

“P-please, Hajime,” you said breathlessly, feeling his cock pressing into your ass. You grinded back against him, desperate for more contact. The wetness was growing between your thighs, soaking through your panties.

“Hmm?” he hummed in your ear. One of his hands moved under your skirt, tugging your panties down and letting them fall to your knees. “What do you want, princess?” he asked, sliding a finger along your pussy, making you squirm.

“Want your cock, please, baby, need it so badly,” you begged. In the mirror, you saw him grin over your shoulder. He tugged down his shorts and boxers just enough to free his cock, before flipping your skirt up over your hips to get a better view of you. He dragged the head of his cock between the folds of your pussy, his touch teasing.

“This what you want?” he asked, the tone of his voice making you shiver. You nodded, biting your bottom lip in anticipation. He pressed into you, groaning at the sight of your eyes fluttering shut as his thick cock stretched you out. His hands gripped your hips firmly as he bottomed out; you clenched around him, drawing another low groan from his lips. “Fuck, baby, you’re so tight.”

Iwaizumi loved the look on your face in the mirror, with your head thrown back and eyes squeezed tight, breath coming out in shallow pants as he started thrusting into you. It was clear that you had no thoughts other than how good he felt inside you, desperately wanting him to make you cum; but a part of his mind was thinking of something else. He was thinking about the fact that practice was almost over, and any minute now the team would be heading back to the locker room to find you there, shamelessly moaning from the way that he was fucking you.

“Open your eyes, princess,” he told you. “I want you to look at yourself while I fuck you.” You immediately obeyed, staring, mesmerized, at your boyfriend’s face in the mirror, his dark green eyes boring into you.

His cock was hitting that spot deep inside your cunt, making your whole body tremble. He dug his fingers into your hips, gripping you harshly as he fucked into you. Your pussy was tightening around him, letting him know how close you were getting.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he groaned, mouth sucking on the skin of your neck again. “Who’re you so wet for, baby?”

“Y-you, Hajime—oh, fuck—only you,” you gasped out, surprised by how much you were loving being able to watch yourself getting fucked. Your cheeks were flushed, hot breath fogging up the mirror as you came closer and closer to your release. “F-fuck, please don’t stop, baby, I’m g-gonna cum—god!” You had barely gotten the last word out before your orgasm washed over you, eyes closing again at the intense pleasure.

You were too wrapped up in your own world to notice the sound of footsteps getting closer, but Iwaizumi was all too aware of them. He was looking at the door in the mirror when the team appeared there, grinning to himself at the stunned expressions on their faces. He put a hand on your back, pressing you down until your chest was lying flat on the counter.

“You want more, baby?” he asked you, just loud enough for the others to hear.

“Yes,” you moaned, head nodding against the cool surface of the counter. “Feels so good…”

Iwaizumi started thrusting into you harder, the sound of his balls slapping against your cunt echoing throughout the room. You were quickly coming undone, breathing shallow and fast as your nails grasped at the surface beneath you. His name left your lips over and over, begging him to go harder, faster, to give you more.

He loved the way you felt around him, loved how easy it was for him to completely wreck you. Your cunt was clenching so hard around his cock, drawing him back in each time his hips pulled away from you.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he murmured into your ear as one of his hands reached around to play with your clit, the added sensation making your spine arch. “You wanna cum again, princess?”

“Mm hmm,” you whimpered, unable to say much else. You could hardly catch your breath with the relentless pace he set, the feeling of his cock so deep in your pussy making your mind go blank. He was rubbing tight circles over your clit, the friction sending you over the edge again.

With one cheek pressed into the counter, Iwaizumi could see half your face as you were cumming. He smiled at the way your mouth fell open, no sound coming out as he continued to rock his hips into you, not giving you a break for a second. He glanced up at the mirror again to find the whole team still standing in the doorway, watching intently as he fucked you better than they ever could. Several of them were palming themselves through their shorts, desire plain on their faces.

He increased his pace even more, fingers still playing with your clit, making you cry out. Your whole body was shaking underneath him; the sight of it drove him mad.

“T-too much, Hajime!” you wailed, but the look in your eyes as you gazed up at his face pleaded for him to keep going. The overstimulation was electrifying every part of your body, a tingling sensation running up and down your limbs as his cock slammed into you relentlessly.

“One more, princess,” he said, never stopping his movements. “You’re gonna cum for me one more time.” It wasn’t a question or a request, but a clear order. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his, even as they watered from the intense pleasure, your vision blurring, body shaking uncontrollably.

“Fuck, fuck! Hajime!” you screamed out as your pussy clenched around him again, eyes rolling back. A string of curses and moans flew past your lips, dissolving into unintelligible babbling. If he hadn’t been gripping your hip so tightly, you would have collapsed from the intensity of your orgasm, knees trembling wildly.

Iwaizumi couldn’t hold back anymore. He leaned down over you, chest pressing into your back and lips latching onto your throat as he came, spilling his load inside of you. “You’re so amazing, baby,” he whispered, his words intended only for your ears.

Panting hard, he pulled out of you, fixing your clothes into place before tucking himself back into his shorts. Pressing one last kiss into the back of your neck, he looked up at the mirror. The hard look he gave the guys still standing in the open doorway was more than clear; without needing a word from him, they all turned to leave before you could sit up and notice them.

Iwaizumi wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you in close to plant a kiss on your temple. He led you out of the locker room, grinning at the way the team stared at you in the hallway, their eyes moving to look at his cum slowly dripping down your inner thigh.

--

➣ masterlist

[guns-in-the-desert]

Germany NSFW A-Z

I’m super excited to post this, I worked hella hard, so here it is.

A= Aftercare

   He’s not the best at it, as being soft and comforting isn’t in his nature. It takes him a while to get good at it, and when he does, it’s super routine, almost robotic (let’s be honest, he made a checklist.). Step 1. Ask if  you're alright, Step 2. Wipe you down, and so on and so forth.

B= Body Part

  Not to be basic but, your boobs are hands down his favorite part of your body, he loves to squeeze them, even when y’all aren’t fucking, he’ll play with them without even realizing, bonus points if you have sensitive nipples. On him he really likes his arms, he likes how they look around your waist, and how easily he can pick you up.

C= Cum

  Ludwig is a Super neat person, so he likes a quick and easy clean up. He likes to nut inside you/a condom or in your mouth, not only does he think it’s hella hot, but also there's little to no mess, it’s 10/10 for him.

D= Dirty secret

  He would die before telling anyone this, but he steals your panties, not that you don't know, he’s quite bad at returning them, so you notice them missing. He really wants to stop, but he just thinks it’s so hot, and they remind him of the different times you've done it, for example: You wore that pink velvet thong the first time he tied you up. P.S they're not always clean when he takes them, at this point don’t even let him do laundry

E= Experience

  He’s not as experienced as you might think, he’s quite awkward actually. He’s done it a few times, but he still can’t can’t look at your bare body without blushing, watches HELLA porn though , but don’t expect him to admit it.

F= Favorite Position

  He absolutely LOVES fucking you against the wall, you would never know it, but he’s kind of a show off. This position shows off his strength (and his biceps), plus he gets to feel your tits against him, it’s a win win situation for him.

G= Goofy (is he more serious or goofy in bed)

 This man ain’t even goofy in day to day life, like, at all. Y’all know damn well he did not come to play any kind of games with you, I wish you would try and crack a joke while his dick is out.

H= Hair

  He's neat, he trims regularly, he's well maintained and well groomed, would never shave it completely off (he gets cold) because it makes him feel less manly

I= Intimacy

  He’s not goofy, also not very intimate, he’s quite aggressive, being gentle isn’t in his nature, not that he’s trying to be during sex, like italy said in the show “he’s like some sort of super sadist.”.

J= Jack off

  He jacks off, a lot, don't ask him though, he’d practically deny knowing what masturbating is, claims it’s “DISGUSTANG”, despite literally getting porn for christmas. You've caught him in compromising positions multiple times, still denies ever doing though.

K= Kink

  “He's like some sort of super sadist.” Italy said it best will literally rock your shit for the hell of it. Flogging, spit, bondage, the whole nine yards, know s, almost no limits, will he slap you across your face and call you a whore? Yes. Will he choke you until your face turns blue? Yes. Will he tie you with a vibrator and leave you for hours? Definitely. Will he make you walk on a leash and sleep in a dog bed? Absolutely. Can he look at your tits, without blushing? Of course not, what are you, fuckin crazy?

L= Location

  The bed, he does NOT want to even risk getting caught, he’d be WAY too embarrassed. He decided to get frisky in the living room once, and Gil walked in. He didn’t fuck you for a week and he didn’t talk to his brother for a month, partially because Gilbert’s and asshole and takes every oppurtunity he has to bully his younger brother, partially due to embarrassment. 

M= Motivation

  Almost everything, surprisingly, he’s actually a pretty horny dude, but if you really wanna get him going, beg, he loves to see you beg, you could also crawl around on the floor in low cut top, and skirt in front of him, but don’t be surprised if you get a collar the next day.

N= No

  Will not, and I mean NEVER ever even consider sharing you under any circumstances. He doesn't care how much you beg and plead. Why would you want somebody else with y’all is there something he’s doing wrong, ask him again, I dare you, you'll get your ass beat, I mean it, in the hottest way possible of course.

O= Oral

  Ludwig prefers receiving, and even though you’re doing the sucking, he’s doing the work. Really rough, so don't be surprised if cum is coming out of your nose by the end of it. When it comes to giving, my guy had a stiff ass tongue at first, like he licked your pussy mad hard, he figured it out eventually, thank god.

P= Pace

  Surprise surprise, he’s mad rough, but does find a pace and a rhythm quite quickly, which is a really good trait not many people have (I assume) it’s easy to get into, which is always pleasant. It goes very smoothly.

Q= Quickies 

  Not the biggest fan of quickies but he’ll do them nonetheless, they just aren’t his favorite, he’d pick it over masturbation, not that he does that of course, your always a better option with his hand.

R= Risk

  He takes risks in the sense that he likes to experiment with new toys, kinks, roleplays, etc. not with location though, he sticks to the bedroom and the shower exclusively, and he's even iffy about that.

S= Stamina

  This man spent a decent chunk of the show running, so he can and will go for hours. It's kind of insane. 

T= Toys

  Yes, of course, ropes, vibrators, flogs, you name it, he's got it, it’s as simple as that.

U= Unfair

  While foreplay lasts for quite a while, he isn’t much of a tease. With the exception of the occasional orgasm denial, he’s pretty straight to the point. He doesn't see a reason to drag things out when it’s not necessary. Like if you're  getting flogged, you're getting flogged, there's no if, ands, or buts, he doesn't have time for talking or teasing.

V= Volume

  He sucks at dirty talk, so he lets his actions do all the talking. Doesn't really make noise during sex, there’s the occasional grunt, but even thats rare

W= Wild Card

  So I mentioned before that you caught him in compromising positions in the past, the first time this happened was an absolute disaster. You had walked in to ask him what he wanted for dinner, he looked like a deer in headlights. You asked him what he was doing and his response was “I lost my turtle.” I don't know what part of him thought he would believe because; 1) He doesn't own a turtle, 2) he somehow lost it in his dick? So for this to make sense, he would have had to go and buy a turtle, have it near his penis for whatever reason, proceed to forget about said turtle, and after all that it still would explain how a turtle would fit into anyway, like I know you have foreskin, but, damn. So you ask him if he was masterbating, which obviously ended like this “NEIN, THAT’S DISGUSTING!” 

X= X-Ray

  Big dick,  more girthy than it is long, but it still has quite a bit of length, has the slightest curve, and a vein along the underside, he’s uncut. Wait till you see this man in grey sweatpants.

Y= Yearningh  In the top 10 for characters with the highest sex drive, He’s number seven on the list. Which says more about the people above him than it says about him, himself.

Z= ZZZ (How quickly does he fall asleep after?)

  Either he’s out immediately, or  he gets up and does work, there is ZERO in between with this man, I really don’t know what to tell y’all.

I really hope y’all enjoyed, I don’t have any WIPs as of right now. So, I write when I get ideas until I get more requests. See y’all in the next one. Bye for now

[beardedmrbean]

I'm sorry if this is burdening you at all but I just need to vent to somebody who I think is a sane human being, and reasonably nice.

Ever since I was 8, maybe even younger, I have had trouble socializing with other people. I liked to hang out, liked to play, ect, but I had a very short "internal battery." Whether that was me just rationalizing being lazy or true, I don't know any more.

I'm 21 now, and I'm scared that because of childhood habits that persisted well into adulthood for me, I'm fucked. I am personable with people at work, nice with them as I can be, told repeteatedly by several coworkers that I am their favorite manager, ect.

And yet if there is a group hanging out I'm not invited. If one of the other mangers who similar in age to me is hanging out with a another similarly aged manager, and they talk about hanging out, I'm not even asked if I'd like to join. I feel so fucking discombobulated when it comes to social interactions. I've never been in a serious relationship, and I feel I might have fucked myself for life because of some fault I can't see or feel within myself.

And I can't even vent to anybody I know in real life because I don't feel like my problems really compare. I have tried to in the past, like to my mom or brother, and they told me I basically brought it on my self.

I spent my last year in high school essentially looked away in my room playing games and going to school, and nothing else. No one talked to me at school, wanted to hang out, or even offered.

And here I am venting to someone I know only through a dumb ass social media site because I have literally no one to talk to in real life. I don't even know if I have the possibility to go to a therapist to help me deal with this shit, because bills are already taking 2/3rds of my paychecks.

I'm just... I'm so worried I'm going to grow up to be some loser who no friends in his 30's, who grown fine with that. Each day feels like a repeating cycle, I'm fine, I'm at work and happy, making sure no one else is getting overwhelmed or fucked over, and then I hear someone making plans. Or that the girl I kinda had a crush on (which I haven't felt since I was 14) is feeling sad because another coworker is with someone else now.

I feel like I'm in a fucking pool of misery, dragging myself out long enough to get a few clear breaths, and then at the last second I'm sucked back in to the pit.

I'm sorry if you didn't want to read all that. But you are the only person I have seen on here who is willing to listen to issues like these, and provides support, even if it's just a simple prayer and thought, it's something more than what I get in real life.

Everyone is welcome to come and vent, so ya no need to apologize there.

for practical help on the therapy front, it's gonna be a while but in november/december when open enrollment for obamacare opens up check out the plans they have, cost is usually really low or zero if you don't make much money

as for the friends thing, you're still young and got a lot of time to go

when you enter in to the working world you may find some people that you click with, church is also good for that if you feel so inclined.

It's not a bummer forever though, you'll make it just might need to do a bit more effort here or there.

I got faith in you though, and yes I will be praying for you as well

[marisol993]

For some time now I've seen, over and over again, that the Qunari in the Dragon Age Universe are apparently some kind of racist caricature of black people, muslims and other types of poc's, bipoc's, minorities, ....

From a personal perspective I never saw them as such, but since a personal view of things isn't very objective and can be skewed by ones life-experiances I was completely willing to admit, that I might have been wrong about that and had an opportunity to learn something new here.

The more I thought about it and critically examined this statement though, the less I agreed with any of it. Especially since a lot of arguments in favor of this view seemed to boil down to "this person of [insert relevant minority here] said so". I.e. another "personal viewpoint".

So let's get into a critical analysis of the Qunari and why I think that they are so very far removed from any kind of "minorty" (from a western point of view) coding that you couldn't even see it with the power of the Hubble and James Webb space-telescopes combined:

First of all, who are the Qunari? The Qunari are tall, medium to heavily built, horned (or unhorned, if you only played Origins) humanoids, that come in varying shades of grey skin, with whiteish hair. They are more intensly sexually dimorphic than the Dwarves, Elves and Humans of Thedas, with the males being sometimes nearly twice as wide (especially in the shoulders) and much more muscled than the females. They call themselves the Qunari as they are followers of the Qun (their guide to life and society), though the word is more of an umbrella-term, since anybody of any race is called a Qunari if they "convert" to the teachings of the Qun.

Here's a picture:

At this point some people might already remark, that the Qunari are very obviously "black-coded" since apparently nowadays any deviation from natural, real-life human skintones automatically has to mean, that the fantasy-race in question is meant to reflect black or brown people (even if they are green or bright purple), unless you literally give them a complete and utterly snow-white skintone. If that is the argument you want to go with, I would like to redirect your eyes to the picture above, as it already disproves this. As it is shown there (and in the DA:I Character-Creator), the Qunari can come in a complete spectrum of skintones (from very light grey to nearly ebony), just like all the different races of Thedas (even the dwarves for some reason, which doesn't make much sense for a race that lived underground for most of their history, but what can you do..). This basically means, that yes there are dark-skinned (or "black") Qunari, but there are also those that could be better described as "light-skinned", so the coding-qualifier goes away.

Then there are the people, who might want to say, that because they are tall and "burly", together with the unnatural skintone makes them "black-coded" which is something I never really understood, since the tallest people in the world by ethnicity are the Dutch and if you look at heights in correlation with body-weight the Russians take first place. Both countries not really know for their large populations of darkskinned-humanoids. Another coding-qualifier that goes away.

And then there are the people (who I would seriously suggest should maybe review their own "racial" views, if "black and brown people" is the first thing they think about when it comes to this), who say, that they are a stereotype of the "savages and natives", which is something that is actively contradicted in canon. One of the most prominent traits of the Qunari is that they are efficiant to a T, use every resorce at the disposal to it's maximum (including their people) and that they are more technically and scientifically advanced than many other race in Thedas (except maybe the dwarves) . This is shown through their mastery of gunpowder (which they call gaatlok) and the fact that they can use chemicals and drugs to literally warp the mind of people without needing magic. They are in no way presented as "savage" and if they are named such, it's usually by people who they are actively at war with, who want to insult them. They are also not "natives" of Thedas. Even their so called "homeland" in Thedas, which is called Par Vollen, was colonised by them, when they landed at it's shores in 6:30 Steel-Age and started converting the original population of Tevinter humans and elves, with whom they have been at war with ever since. Let me say that again: The Qunari are active colonisers and at war with the Tevinter-Imperium, who's people are the original population of the land. Not exactly a typical "native or black" stereotype in western media.

So who do I think the Qunari are actually modeled after?

Well let's summarise:

The Qunari came from across the ocean in their ships filled with cannons and guns, to colonise the land and convert the native population towards their beliefs. They are currently fighting a war against the Tevinter-Imperium, an old and powerful empire, that engages in widespread slavery and practices blood-magic by sacrificing said slaves, sometimes also to one of their many gods.

(If you can't guess who I think they are supposed to be modeled after by now, I would recommend to maybe picking up a 7th-grade history textbook again)

Yes, you can make a very strong case for the Qunari actually being these guys:

The Conquistadors (heck, if you cross out a few letters you can even anagram the word "Qunari" out of the word Conquistador). Who also came from across the sea with ships, cannons and guns to colonise the land (south- and middle-america) and convert the native population (to christianity) and fought an ancient and powerful empire with slaves and blood-sacrifices (the Aztec-Kingdoms).

So after pissing of one half of tumblr with that, let's start with the other half by talking about the apparent "muslim-coding" and how I disagree with that too.

Let's start with a rough definition of what a muslim is and how I think that that alone shows how the Qunari are in no way coded to be them:

I would define a muslim as somebody who is an active member of the religion of Islam. Islam is defined by it's holybook (the Qur'An), which was revealed to the prophet Muhammad by an all-knowing and omnipresent abrahamic god.

This in and of itself basically already disqualifies the Qunari from being "muslim-coded" since first and foremost the Qunari are not a religion. They do not have a god and they don't pray to any, the Qun is not a "holy-book" and Ashkaari Koslun (the guy who wrote it) was not a prophet, who wrote down the word of god, but a philosopher who basically crafted a "guide to life and society" with his works.

If you really wanted to find something that is slightly "muslim-coded" in the world of Thedas, you might actually have more luck with the chantry-stuff, since they do have a prophet (Andraste) who could talk to god (the Maker), they have a holy book based of her teachings (the Chant of Light) and they believe that the whole world should follow those teachings, so god will return to them (singing the Chant from all four corners of the world). They even have their own flavour of jihadist religious warfare with the Exhalted Marches (though all in all I do think that the Chantry can be better viewed as a take on christian religions since the split between the Imperial Chantry and the original one is similar to the split of the (western) christian church into catholics and protestants).

So what do I think is a better representation for the Qun in the real world?

Well lets look at it in the simplest way possible that the canon gives us:

The Qun is a guide for the life of the Qunari (the people of the Qun) that ecompasses everything from laws, legislative guides, too how society should be struktured and how everyone has to fit into and function in that society, from the most mundane and simplest tasks and jobs to it's highest administrative bodies. Everyone in this society is evaluated, so that they can be put into a position that is best suited to them and their skill-sets. There they will then each work according to their abilities and each be provided for according to their needs (see what I did there). Yes, the Qun can in my opinion be best described as a take on an authoritarian-socialist guide to life, written by somebody with a similar philosophie as Karl Marx.

So all in all, I don't think that the Qunari are in any way black-, brown-, bipoc- or muslim-coded, but a fantasy take on the Conquistadors, if instead of a bible they had all carried around "A Guide to Life, Luck and Community, written by Karl Marx (during one of his more productive weekends)", visually represented by giant Minotaur-People of many colours.

Also I find this obsession with finding every and any kind of reflexion of our real world in some random fantasy setting, by people who are most of the time actively looking to get offended by at least something and mostly every- and anything, quite contrived most of the time and that the day people on tumblr learned the word "codeing" a significant part of the internets critical-thinking skills and will just shrivelled up and died.

Thank you for coming to my TED-talk.

[gubes-sweaters]

Mind, Body, and Soul 3

Authors Note: This is a Spencer Reid AU inspired by @subspencer​ . This is their original idea and thanks again to them for letting me use this AU. Also, side note I was thinking what type of hair cut Spencer would have in this AU and I’m thinking season 10/11 hair is the most fitting. Just to remind everyone that Lindsey Vaughn, Cat Adams, Spencer Reid, and Penelope Garcia aren’t canon to Criminal Minds, but any other character I mention is.

Content Warning: Drug use (weed), swearing, that’s all I can think of but if there's anything else don’t be afraid to let me know.

Word Count: 3K

You can find part two here

Chapter 3: Snooping Roommates

I wake up to loud banging on my door, a screaming roommate trying to wake me up, and the dead weight of Spencer’s arm that practically has me in a death grip.

“(y/n) wake up I need my straightener that you borrowed. I need to straighten my hair before class and I don't want to be late!” She’s shouting while banging on my door. I turn over and look at my alarm clock and see that it’s only ten am. Great, I’m only going to get four hours of sleep when I feel like I could sleep for a week. This loud banging isn’t doing any favors for my headache either. Then it suddenly hits me that I need to wake up Spencer and get him to hide in my room somewhere because no doubt my friend Stella will barge in. I mean normally it isn’t a problem we’ve been best friends since kindergarten, but when I’m trying to hide a plug that just spent the night, even though he is practically a stranger to me in my room it’s not an ideal time for her to snoop.

“Sorry, I’m awake just give me a second!” I holler back at her, so she’ll stop banging on the door so loudly. I know I’m not going to make her super late because she doesn’t have class until twelve, but she takes forever to get ready nonetheless. I manage to wiggle out of Spencer's grasp, so I can sit up and wake him up. “How is he still asleep or maybe he’s dead that would get rid of one problem at least.” I think to myself while I’m trying to shake him awake and even though I’m joking for a sliver of a second I think he might actually be dead. It wasn’t until he snored ever so slightly and turned away from me I knew he was actually breathing.

“Spencer, Spencer you need to wake up and get in the closet.” I say to him while shaking him even more aggressively.

“Wow, I haven’t thought about being in the closet in a long time.” He mumbles back to me.

“Spencer this isn’t the time for jokes now get in my closet.” I say as I continue to shake him to make sure he doesn’t go back to sleep.

“Wait, I have to do what now.” He finally sits up and ponders my words for a second.

“You have to get in the closet my friend needs something out of my room, and she’ll never let it go if she sees you in here.” I repeat to him for the third time while pointing at my closet.

“Okay, okay fine.” He says putting his hands up surrendering to my ridiculous request after collecting his stuff off the nightstand and pushing his shoes under my bed.

“Hey is everything okay in there or did you go back to sleep?” Stella asks while pounding on the door once more.

“No, I’m just trying to get dressed. Give me a second to grab the straightener and you probably should stop pounding on the door before we get a noise complaint my dad would murder all three of us.” I say before making sure that Spencer is in the closet with the door closed. I hurry and grab the straightener and do a quick once over of my room to make sure that nothing is out of place. I open my door to one peeved friend with her dark brown curly hair going in every single direction. I hand the straightener to her hoping she’ll take it and leave.

“Thanks, also do you have that book you said I could borrow? I’m going to have two hours to kill between classes and I can’t be bothered to drive back home” She asks right before I was about to close the door.

“Oh yeah, it’s in the drawer of my left nightstand.” I say before making a gesture pointing towards it with my head.

“Okay?” She says probably because of my odd demeanor. I quickly shuffle over to my closet basically guarding it with my life. At the same time, she makes her way over to the nightstand and when she looks at it, she lets out a weird chuckle and picks something up. She turns to me as I’m standing in front of the closet. When she turns around she’s holding up a condom. “Goddammit, Spencer!” I think to myself while I think about excuses for why that would be in my room.

“Did somebody get a boyfriend and not tell their friend. Even more importantly, did somebody lose their virginity and NOT TELL ME!” She says in a more excited manner than upset that I wouldn’t tell her something like that. I mean we’re adults not in grade school anymore so it’s not a huge deal.

“No, I didn’t it must be Raven’s. It’s certainly not mine and even if I did you wouldn’t need to announce it to the world, so can you keep your voice down.” I say while partially whispering in hopes that Spencer didn’t hear any of that because I’m not in the mood to be teased, and I’m especially not in the mood for the million questions I get when people find out.

“Raven come here! We need a family meeting!” She shouts oblivious to the company we have with us. Of course, she’s going to run with this and think it’s hilarious because we’re friends it’s what we do. I know she would never do this if she knew that Spencer or anyone else was here because she wouldn’t want me to be embarrassed. Raven walks into the room with her black hair swinging back and forth in her ponytail in unison with her skirt.

“Yeah what’s up?” She asks quickly peaking her head in the doorway because she has a class at eleven.

“Would this happen to belong to you? We know it’s not mine because I have no need for a condom and I think my GIRLfriend would find it odd that I have any. If it’s not yours there’s only one other person in this house that it could belong to.” She manages to say between her giggles putting an emphasis on the girl part, so I can’t use the excuse that it might be Stella’s for whatever reason.

“Guys fine it’s mine but let it go because no I don’t have a boyfriend and no I didn’t lose…you know...it” I trail off trying to be as quiet as possible.

“There’s no need to be ashamed of being a virgin at twenty, but excuse us if we pick on you because you’re the only one out of us who hasn’t lost their virginity. Don’t even try to use the catholic school excuse anymore. It might’ve worked when we were in high school, but it doesn't anymore.” Raven chimes in clearly also having fun in this awkward situation.

“Okay, thanks mom now get out of my room. I didn’t wake up to play twenty-one questions.” I say trying to get them out of my room as fast a possible because I hear chuckles slowly becoming louder and louder from inside my closet.

“We’re only teasing you because we love you but I still kind of want to know why you have only one sitting on your nightstand.” Stella says while sitting it back down and finally picking up the book before making her way out of the room. She stops at the doorway turning to look at me clearly wanting an explanation. Raven being the snoop she is as well raises her eyebrows wanting an explanation too.

“Okay fine I may or may not have thought I was going home with somebody last night and Penelope practically threw one at me trying to get me to go home with him but last minute I chickened out. Are you guys happy now?” I pull the most bullshit excuse out of my ass, but they seem to believe it because they both give a silent nod while walking out and closing the door behind them. I run to lock the door while Spencer opens the closet with his hand over his mouth trying not to laugh.

“That sounds like the most cliché porn plot possible. A sweet little virgin catholic school girl what do you need me to dress up as a priest?” He says in between deep breaths trying not to bust out laughing.

“Don’t even start I won’t hesitate to kill you. No one knew who you came home with I bet I could get away with it, I’ve watched enough crime shows and I listened to my dad talk about it growing up.” I look at him giving him the stink eye trying to be a little intimidating even though I’m obviously joking, but it just makes him laugh more.

“Okay, we’ll see about that squirt.” He says while trying to control his laughter and lays back on my bed. I roll my eyes at the sudden usage of the nickname.

“I’m going to get ready don’t move and if my friends knock on the door don’t answer it. I can drive you back to your apartment after they leave.” I tell him trying to move on while making my way to my bathroom after grabbing clothes from my closet.

“Yes ma’am.” He says mocking me because I’m talking to him in the same way a mom would scold her toddler. In some ways, Spencer acts like a toddler, so I’m justified in the way I talk to him.

As I finish up taking a shower and running a brush through my hair to not look like I was hit by a truck, I get changed and walk back into my room. I walk out and see that Spencer is once again passed out in my bed. I sigh trying to figure out what to do and for the first time in the past fourteen hours, my prayers have been answered because both of my friends shout their goodbyes as they leave the apartment. As soon as I hear the lock click signaling that they left I open my door checking to see if the coast is clear. Once I make sure I’m safe I walk out to the kitchen and make breakfast. I sit and relax on the island for a second taking in everything that’s happened since last night. I close my eyes and bask in the warm sunlight coming through the window and take in the smell of coffee brewing. I go back to breakfast and I make sure to make enough food for me and Spencer. After I’m done I go to ask him if he wants any food and as I make my way to my room I smell something odd. I can’t place the smell at first over the smell of coffee and pancakes, but as soon as I open my door I immediately recognize the smell. Then I see him laying on my bed smoking a joint.

“Oh hey, you want a hit.” He offers after he seemed surprised to see me as if he wasn’t laying in my bed in my apartment.

“No I don’t smoke sorry, but I made breakfast if you want some.” I say before turning around and making my way back to the kitchen.

“So you don’t smoke, you don't have sex, and you don't really drink or party so what do you do for fun?” He asks while catching up with me. As I plate our food I wonder if I have anything actually interesting to tell him. It’s boring to say “Oh I go to class, then to work, then I study, and sometimes I get more bored than usual, so I knit.” When I figure I don’t have anything remotely fun to talk about I just shrug and give him a plate with pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

“How do you take your coffee?” I ask while pulling two mugs out of the cupboard before grabbing creamer and sugar.

“Like three teaspoons of sugar, but don’t try and change the subject. If you don’t know how to have fun that’s how I’ll make it up to you for helping me out last night. We’ll spend a day, it doesn’t have to be today, but we’ll spend a day where we have a day full of fun.” He says with a proud look on his face, and I can’t help but giggle at the look on his face it’s like he just had the idea of the century. You can tell he’s someone whose smart but is only very book smart because at the same time he has no sense of self-preservation and no common sense whatsoever.

“Okay, well I have to work tonight, but tomorrow I don’t have anything going on. What do you have in mind?” I ask while passing him coffee before joining him at the island with my food and coffee.

“That my dear is a mystery. It’s much more fun when it’s a surprise.” He says while booping my nose before reading what’s on the mug I gave him.

“The BAU? Who do you know that works for the FBI’s behavioral analysis unit or is this just some cute little souvenir?” He asks while looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

“My dad used to work for the BAU but it’s been a while. Right now he’s on a book tour.” I say trying to be brief as possible when talking about my dad.

“So are you super close with your dad is that why he pays for your apartment and gets you gifts like this?” He asks before taking a bite out of the bacon.

“It’s not really an extraordinary gift it’s just a mug first off. Second off how did you know that he pays for my apartment? Were you snooping through my room while I was making breakfast?” I ask genuinely curious how he drew that conclusion. I mean he’s not wrong but still.

“I heard you say and I quote “stop pounding on the door before we get a noise complaint my dad would murder all three of us.” I doubt that you would care what your dad thinks unless he pays for the apartment or this is his apartment, but I’m not sure why your mom and dad would let two other loud ass girls live in this apartment with them.” He says with a smug look on his face as if he cracked a seemingly unsolvable mystery.

“Good detective work Sherlock. I mean yeah you’re right my dad pays the rent for this place, but he and my mom aren’t together anymore, my mom happened to be unlucky wife number four, and to answer your question from earlier no I’m not extremely close with my dad. He was always at work, traveling, or working on his new book I’m pretty sure this apartment is how he chooses to make up for it.” I say very matter-of-factly like it’s nothing I think I’m just numb to it at this point.

“Well, welcome to the absentee fathers club. It’s full of daddy issues and forgotten birthdays.” He says before turning back to his food. Not having a dad around clearly doesn’t bother him, or he’s putting up a pretty good front like it doesn’t bother him.

“Anyway moving away from the subject of childhood trauma let’s move on to our day of fun. I’ll pick you up here at ten am sharp. I will tote you around all day until you learn how to have fun.” He says while doing a horrible impression of Steve Irwin as if we're going on some sort of adventure through the jungle. I just giggle in response as I go to clean up both of our plates.

“I’ll be ready at ten now are you ready for me to take you back home because I have to go to work soon.” I ask turning to face him while I rest my elbows behind me on the counter.

“Yeah let me go get my shoes and I’ll be ready.” He says before hopping off the stool at the kitchen island and makes his way back to my room. I laugh to myself because we just met, yet I get along with him like we’ve known each other for years. I quickly make my way to the laundry room, so I can grab my work shirt out of the dryer and change into it before we leave. I slip off my shirt and slip into my work shirt and tuck it into my jeans, before making my way back out to the living room. As I grab my keys and slip on my vans Spencer makes his way back out to the living room.

“Ready?” I ask him before opening the door. He just nods before slipping a piece of paper into my hand. I didn’t open it at the time. I didn’t even open it until I got off work that night but it was his number.

Me: hey, I just got off work and realized you gave me your number. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Good Night :)

Spencer: i’ll see you then. sweet dreams <3

As I’m sitting in my bed that night I just chuckle to myself before I turn my phone off and turn over trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. As I get comfortable and I’m about to shut my eyes I spot that damn condom on the corner of my nightstand once again. Soon enough I finally shut my eyes and I’m able to get some sleep.

——————————————————————————

Taglist: @rexorangecouny @haylaansmi

[fictaetion]

SAUDADE

Min Yoongi Imagine

Part 1

Saudade: Saudade is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and/or loves.

28 October 2020

Hello it's me Min Yoongi. I am still getting used to this. Writing about myself and talking about my everyday life to you. Not that it constitutes much, just basic things like eating, playing video games, working on music and playing with Holly. Oh have i told you yet i have a dog named Holly.

I was resentful about this at first knowing that I hadn't told Y/n about this. But further as I continued it I felt good. This way it is so  much better rather than meeting outside everyday.

Imagine getting caught by paparazzi, oh my I can't even imagine how much of a scandal it would be. Now that we have landed on the topic of paparazzi I somewhere think it's because of them that I have started to become anxious about going outside. 

I remember when I talked to you during our first meeting I have never felt so relieved talking to someone except Y/n. By the way, I am planning on telling her soon.

 I really can't hide it anymore. Is it wrong to do this while she is gone. What will she think of me? 

Okay this is good, i feel this is all I wanted to talk about today. Bye, hope to see you soon.

To, Kang Soowon

 

Looking over at the digital clock sitting on the desk, which displayed 6:00 pm indicating it was already evening. The shimmering orange hues shone in the apartment acting as a proof. 

Hitting the send button he relaxed back into his chair and stared up at the ceiling. The entire house was peaceful with just a few sounds from the cars passing by and Holly's barks. 

He had grown accustomed to these sounds for over a week now. These were the only things that made him feel he was not completely alone. His prominent source of chitter chatter and chaos had been out for a  week now. 

She had gone on a trek with bangtan as the only representative for the couple. On the other hand all the members had accompanied their wives or girlfriends. The youngest one Jungkook had also brought his daughter along with them for this trip. 

Funny how the maknae was the first one to be a father out of all of them. Even the eldest was married and had a stable married life now and following his footsteps were his younger brothers. 

Soon Taehyung was also going to propose to his long time girlfriend. Now the only one left was Yoongi. Yes he was dating you but that's it. There were no advances in the relationship yet. 

You both knew you loved each other dearly and had also confessed to each other previously. Not in a very romantic manner of course, it took place when Y/n presented Yoongi a plate of spaghetti which she made all by herself from scratch. 

Even though it was not the very best in regards to taste , he admired his girlfriend’s hard work and the love she had put into it. Her eyes focused on his face just to get a nod of approval from Yoongi. 

It wasn’t bad considering it was her first time making it. He looked up to give an appreciating remark to Y/n when her face lightly covered with flour came into his sight. 

Oh how cute she looked. But she was so eager to get feedback from him that she did not realize that he was staring at her face with a slight smile. 

“It’s good, really good!” Yoongi said, taking another bite out of the spaghetti and picking one bite for her to taste.

A frown formed on her face as soon it landed in her mouth. 

She started to mutter how bad and bland it tasted and asked Yoongi how he even managed to chomp down the whole plate, literally taking the last bite. “Why do you even bother eating this let alone finish the whole thing,why?” 

“Because I love you” Y/n’s constant emphasis of why and how seemed to have done its work subconsciously on Yoongi’s mind. When the reality of what had been spilled clicked both of them, their heads instantly turned to each other to take a glance at their partners faces. 

Both of them were trying to find any hints of cringe or “oh it came out by accident” kind of look on their face. But all they could decipher the stunned and honest looks they had.

”You love me Yoongi?” she asked him just to make sure that those words were not just tongue slips. This is the time Yoongi says it, say those words out loud to her, the words that you had been practicing secretly in the bathroom for weeks and even when working. 

Partly also because of Seokjin’s proposal video which he had decided to keep as an inspiration when it would be his time to do it. But alas! look at the situation where they were in both in their pyjamas in their not so clean house a complete 180 degree of his hyungs proposal. 

Not over candle light dinner but the dining table in his kitchen. Well now it's done and there is no turning back. His girlfriend’s voice broke his chain of thoughts when she presented the same question to her. 

Smiling he looked up at her, still a bit nervous but just wanted to get it out. “ Yes I do, I love you alot and I mean it, even if it's not the best place and situation to confess this but it's a fact” he looked up at her face to see what she had to say. 

Will she accept his feelings and reciprocate or will it just get overlooked?. “It's okay if… if you don't like me back I-'' before he could continue saying anything further her tiny palms were covering his face, thumb stroking his cheekbone.

Her face expresses a broad range of emotions whether it be happiness, excitement, but the most prominent one adoration and respect for her lover.” 

I love you too Yoongi, I love you too” with this a stream of tears flowed from her eyes. Yoongi was overjoyed and over the moon knowing that both of them were in the same place and mindset in their relationship. 

From now on it was just moving forward and not looking back. Both of them scooted close to each looking forward to kiss each other but before yoongi could even do anything Y/n turned her face around and yoongi’s lips landed on her cheek making her release a huge laughter which erupted and echoed throughout the room. 

“Yaah Y/n you better get back here and give me my kiss”Yoongi said with puckered lips. “Holly your appa finally said it he confessed to me” you said looking towards the dog you had been holding in your hand. 

He started to bark, wagging his tail at you, definitely not understanding the words you said but felt the emotions you radiated through your facial expressions. Yoongi felt his heart at ease, pulse lowering down and a surge of easiness rising in him, this is all he wanted and now finally he has what he had dreamt of, a stable life, a loving partner right in front of his eyes. 

“Psst Y/n” he called her trying to make eye contact. She stopped whatever she was busy with and looked at him and a tint covered her cheeks with a confident smile on her lips hearing the words “I love you” falling silently, inaudible but you could make out what he was saying.

You winked at him and muttered those same words ”I love you too”. 

The doorbell at their apartment rang making yoongi fall back into reality. He quickly understood it must have been the delivery guy which came with his lunch. 

He quickly took in the order and paid him his money. Yoongi had been ordering from the same restaurant you had been to. He even insisted for the same delivery guy knowing very well that he might get triggered if he saw anybody else. 

He was in the most vulnerable stage of his health right now. Knew he had to do everything in a wise manner or else the situation would completely turn 180 degree. 

He placed down the parcel on his table and started eating his food. He was in the middle of glancing through his media when a picture of you and all the boys popped up on his phone. There were a bunch of people standing around you guys, probably their fans and everyone was smiling at the camera. 

His eyes were only focused on you looking at your smile and your jacket clad figure, but besides you a guy who was intently gazing at you and smiling just by looking at you unlike others who were looking at the camera. 

Yoongi wasted no time to search for his profile and understood that it was your guys tour guide. He couldn't help the insecurity which was building up in his mind. 

He always knew you had an outgoing personality and would befriend everyone around you and yoongi on the other hand was a completely opposite person. Would only talk to the group of few people he trusted and never intended to know any other people the only exclusion for work related meetings. 

It's always a distraction to have too many people in your life he would say and firmly believed it too. The question of would you leave him for somebody else or would  you find someone much better than him would constantly go through his mind and now with his condition it increased even more. Suddenly he received a call which broke his chain of thoughts. 

The screen displayed the callers id: Kang Soowon. He instantly smiled looking at the call and picked up in hopes of clearing his mind by talking to her. It felt good to have someone around to talk to.

Few minutes had passed of him still talking on the phone, afew whispers and faint laughs could be heard from him. “Yes, even though I think I should let this all go, I could become a better person and have a better life I guess, thank you so much for helping me realize that Miss Soowon."

Hope I see you soon at the same place. Good night” he placed his phone down on the counter and was about to get up when a feminine voice came from behind him”Yoongi?” he instantaneously turned around to look at the source of a very familiar voice.

[a-froger-epic]

I could use your input on the fic idea. You know a lot on the boys. And I have no idea if the fic idea is good or not. Maybe it's too dark, I don't know. I saw a short film that followed the same concept but I made mine less dark.

... I want to see the short film now, haha. I do enjoy dark, harrowing tales.

Alright, well, off the top of my head after reading your initial idea:

Killing Freddie

I'm going to address this first because it might be the biggest hindrance, or at least in my eyes it is. And this isn't a problem with the story. It's a problem with the fact that Freddie did die prematurely, and it was awful, and unjust, and (understandably - being such a difficult, painful topic) it isn't even written about very much, the entire topic of his illness and death. Instead, there are plenty of Freddie Lives fics, also very understandably. So for me, to replace the actual end of his life with a fictional death scenario feels... hmm, I don't know, there's something about it that doesn't sit quite right with me. But fear not! I actually have an idea that I think might work better, but still keeps the heart-wrenching end very similar.

It would require making it a dystopian future AU rather than modern, but maybe only mildly so. And I think it could work. But we'll get to that in a moment.

What's the story?

Right now, I'm not sure what the story is. I know what happens, but I'm not sure what story it tells. It's clearly Roger's story, that much is obvious. But right now there isn't much point to anything. Where does he start, emotionally? What does his communication with Freddie mean to him? In short, what is the character arc? Because it could go many ways. He could start out in a good place and then go through some hard stuff which Freddie helps him through. He could start in a bad place and Freddie could be a catalyst for his life improving/changing. So when he loses Freddie, he still walks away a better person for having had him in his life - that's a take I would go for because it also plays on the truth of their relationship and real history.

Why don't they meet? Both of them are/were people who enjoyed social connections. What reason do they have not to meet? There must be one, and they must want to meet, because that will give the story its drive, build up and sense of urgency.

Suggestions

How to avoid killing Freddie but still have a similar ending/outcome?

What I would do here is, like I said, make it a dystopian AU. Maybe the city is segregated (because of disease, zombies, politics, you name it) and people literally do not have free movement. We're looking at a society that is crumbling but still semi-functional. Maybe there's no more Internet as we know it, but there are phones, there are messaging systems, there are apps that connect people, that sort of thing. Roger, being somebody who fixes up cars, could both be an 'outlaw' type character planning an escape (maybe even smuggling people out - think of WWII and the Soviet Union, people being smuggled out in secret compartments in cars - just an idea, a few options) or he could be a useful citizen, helping repair machinery that constantly needs fixing because presumably global trade has broken down and supplies are scarce, etc. You could go a lot of ways with this.

So you have them meet and feel this connection, but you have the frustration of being so close geographically, in the same city (London), but not being able to meet. Planning to, perhaps, or even trying and failing, almost getting arrested. And now we get to Freddie’s character arc. What if he has been planning to illegally flee for a long time, for many reasons. Maybe his family is already somewhere else and he was left behind (because, who knows; accident, or he planned to follow and restrictions tightened, etc. could be a lot of things). What if you take Freddie’s character at his most basic - he's a performer, it's his raison d'etre. He's miserable because he isn't "useful" in the practical sense this society needs, maybe any form of entertainment in the concert/theatre sense has long been suspended, all you get is reruns of existing movies/shows/music. What even is live entertainment? Pfft, not here. And yet there are other places in the world where "they say people are still free to gather and sing and make music together" *wistful sigh* He's an idealist, a dreamer. Is life even worth living if all that he wants from it is lacking? So Roger is torn, really, because he's half worried for him and what Freddie might do, what dangers he might put himself into, and at the same time all but ready to throw all caution to the wind and go with him. Because he'd lost his own dreams and hopes, but Freddie is so goddamm inspiring, he reignites that in him. And he's at the point of joining him (unbeknownst to Freddie - perhaps they've even had a fight about it, where Roger lashed out because he's scared and worried he can't keep either of them safe and so tried to talk Freddie out of his stupid, ridiculous plans, and of course that didn't go well, but he realised at the same time that maybe Freddie is right and what is the point if they don't try) ...when he gets an emotional message from Freddie telling him that an unbelievably fortunate opportunity came up and he has to go or it might never come again. And it ends with something along the lines of "I wish I could change your mind" - but Freddie doesn't realise he already has. And so Roger throws caution to the wind and takes every risk imaginable illegally making his way across town to find him, ready to run away with him. But he's too late.

He's too late.

Freddie is already gone. Did he make it? Who knows. Roger can't reach him anymore.

And the story ends with him alone, in Freddie’s apartment, surrounded by Freddie’s things which he's had to leave behind. Watching the sun rise. Refreshing the app even though he knows he won't see Freddie online.

Does he go after him? Do they find each other? Is Freddie even still alive? The reader decides.