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queenoftheworldisdead · 2 years

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Training day

Note: Inspired after talking with my Muse Jen

Summary: Lee teaches a rookie how things are done.

Warning: 18 + Only, groping, forced fingering, non consent, rape, forced oral, Dark themes, lots of crying

Dark Lee Bodecker x reader, Dark Arvin Russel x reader

🚔

After bringing in the mail some of them spilled out of your hand before you could place it neatly on the kitchen table. The one with your father's name stood out amongst the pack.

He had died sometime ago and every once in a while letters would roll in asking for money he owed. The old bastard left you nothing but his debt and the old Chevy that was more trouble than it was worth.

You frowned and picked his up first then opened it. The sheriff's insignia stamped above the text informed you of his unpaid outstanding speeding tickets.

🚔

"I don't know what to tell you ma'am, you're gonna have to come in and pay this off." The lady officer told you over the phone. You twisted your gold cross in annoyance at the news. After a long explanation things were going the same way they always did, bad. Not only did he have outstanding speeding tickets he also had parking tickets too. Enough for the county to put a boot on the car.

"But he is dead and I aint got that kinda money." You stressed. You needed that clunker to get back and forth to work. The buses had a tendency to run on their own time.

You heard her sigh over the phone then put you on hold without warning. You considered asking the church for help again. When he ran out on your mother they helped support your mom, kept you fed and clothed. When your mother passed they even helped to bury her and when the time came your father too. You were sure you were running low on favors. You would never be able to pay them back for everything.

"Hello Ma'am?"

"Yes. I'm still here."

"Okay, if you come to the station today and show proof, we can get this sorted for you." She explained as relief washed over.

"Thank you… I'll be there as soon as I can."

🚔

You hoped you could get this sorted out without denting your pocket book, things were hard enough as it was. By the time you made it out of the house the street lights were on. The station was small for the town size, only three empty squad cars sat empty as you walked up to the double doors.

"Hi Honey, how can I help you today?" The lady officer inquired through the holes in the glass as you pushed through the front door.

A wide partition separated you two. Before the call you were surprised they had women working here and by her uniform she was more than just a pencil pusher. Behind her head you saw the tail end of the an empty bullpen.

Pushing your papers over her desk you again explained your situation. Her brows knitted as she read over the documents as you waited.

"Uh just a moment hun.”

You nodded in understanding while she grabbed the receiver on her phone. A few officers passed through from the back while she talked to whomever was on the other line.

"Come with me."

The partition door opened and she motioned you forward. The request caught you off guard. What more could she need? All the relevant documents were there.

You were too tired to start a fuss. You just wanted this over with so you let her lead the way.

"Take a seat inside."

The walk was short. An icy cold breeze blew out from the room when she opened the door. You went in first, hugging yourself, trying to keep warm. The space was fairly bare. A large table sat in the middle of the room with a lone chair tucked at its side. There were no windows, just a large mirror half the size of the wall.

"An Officer will be here shortly." She informed. You spun confused.

You tried to stop her to ask questions, but the door shut in your face. You never had to jump through this many hoops to prove your father's death. Everywhere else just made you sign documents after looking over your papers.

It felt like you had been waiting for hours. There was no clocks on the wall and you didn't have the mind to wear your watch. Your feet started to hurt so you took the only seat in the room. If they didn't come in the next few minutes you would just come back early tomorrow.

"Hello Ma'am, " the first officer greeted with a folder in hand, just as your patients was running thin. A younger officer followed in behind and you started to wondered how many people did it take to get this sorted out.

"Hope we hadn't kept you waiting long." The older one asked with a smile that made you feel uneasy. His badge read Lee Bodecker, but when you strained to read his partner's tag you found it too difficult. The younger man said nothing as he past, tucking himself in the corner behind you.

"No it's alright," you lied. You were a bit annoyed by your treatment and welled beyond ready for this day to end, but it felt pointless to point it out.

Lee flipped open the folder and wrinkled his brow. You twisted your necklace out of habit as you wonder what could have him looking so concerned.

"This don't look like you. This a fake I.D.? You look too young to be this old." Lee joked with a playful smirk, pulling out a copy of your license. "Do you think this looks like her Arvin?"

He leaned back and waved the copy at his partner, but Arvin looked un-amused by Lee's antics. Arvin's eyes met yours in the mirror, he frowned deeply before shifting his gaze to his feet. He looked like he didn't want to be here just as badly as you did.

"Aw don't mind him … he's just a little shy, especially around a pretty thing like you."

Lee seemed disappointed at his partners lack of interest, but shrugged it off and pressed on. He stepped closer to you and laid open the folder, spreading out the documents you had given to the female officer along with others you didn't recognize.

"We ran a report on your vehicle little lady and the name on the registration doesn't match." Lee informed as his am rested on the back of your seat. He boxed you in and he leaned in uncomfortably close.

"Yeah it was my daddy's car." You state shifting away from him as much as you could.

"Well the name on your license don't match the 'man's' name on these papers." he entoned.

"We don't have the same last name." You twisted the golden crucifix again as Lee pointed out the discrepancies between the registration and your license.

"You trying to tell me your mother was too much of a whore to figure out who your 'daddy' was?" Lee whispered into your ear. Your eyes went wide and your mouth gawked open at his crassness. If he wanted you to feel ashamed he was doing a good job of it.

"I.. I know what it looks like, but he was my daddy." You felt more and more uncomfortable. Different last names weren't uncommon, but still very taboo in your back woods country town.

Your daddy was a rolling stone, he never married your momma, and flat out refused to sign your birth certificate when you were born. A point of contention between the two until her dying day.

"Well we need a way to verify your 'daddy' is who you say he is. Cause from my view it looks like you stole this car and now your coming up here with phony documents claiming to be a dead mans child. Seems like clear fraud and theft to me."

🚔

You watched in disbelief and shock as he pulled the handcuff from his hips.

"He is I swear. This paper work is all I got. I swear." You started to feel panicked. You couldn't believe this situation had turned so bad.

"I think we can look past this little discretion for a price."

"But I dont-"

"Stand up." he demanded flatly cutting you off, his playful demeanor fading quickly.

"What?"

"I don't like repeating myself."

Lee stepped back and pulled the chair from underneath you, dumping you out. You hit the floor hard, your side and palms throbbed from the impact as you reeled in shock.

"Please, don't do this. " You pleaded. Tears were burning up your eyes when he clicked open the cuffs. If you got arrested you would miss work. No work meant no money and with an arrest on your record your life would most definitely be harder than it was already.

"Your a good god fearing girl aren't you?" He asked his eyes suddenly transfixed on your necklace. You clutched it bringing his focus back to you.

"Use your words," he tutted when you shook your head in response.

"Y-yes." You stuttered out, but he frowned deeply at your reply.

"Yes what?"

"Y-es si-sir," you stammered through your correction making him light up. Your body was shaking and your heart pounded. You had never been in trouble with the law, but you heard enough stories for dread to sink in.

"You know good girls get rewarded… Isn't that right Arvin?" He smiled down at you. Arvin didn't answer.

"How about we do this hmm…" he crouched down to your level and offered you a hand up. You were hesitant, but didn't want to anger him so you took his hand and rose to your feet. "If your a good girl…No money, just be good for us we might forget all about this little discrepancy on your registration? Would you like that?"

"Y-yes sir."

He smiled brightly at you. You forced an awkward smile just to appease him.

"Well alright…. How about you give me your panties? Hmmm? Bet they're as cute as you." He said with a wink. You blinked wildly in disbelief at his request.

"Oh don't look at me like that baby girl. You said you were a good girl right? …. Then show me."

🚔

You felt sick and helpless, but the thought of the alternative got you through your reservations. Slowly you bent over. He snickered at your bloomers, pulling at the elastic until it snapped back at you. The cold room felt warmer as humiliation heated your skin. You sniffed and fought off tears as he rounded you.

"That's my girl," Lee preened as you handed him your panties.

"Now go ahead and put your hands on the table."

"But you said…."

"I know what I said, honey I said it." His tone changed again. "You get rewarded once you earned it and you ain't earn shit yet."

He rested his hand on the butt end of the gun that fastened to his hip. It was a threat, but it only help to paralyze you.

"Which church you go to?"

"Saint Cecilia's." You answered almost lower than a whisper, rubbing the edges of the crucifix with your thumb.

"I know that one. Father Martin is still there right?"

You nodded, but quickly realized your mistake and spoke. "Yes sir."

"Sure would be a shame if he heard you got into trouble at the station. You know he comes by to pray for the wayward folks locked up at county. What do you think he would say if he saw that pretty face behind bars?"

He held these charges over your head like a carrot on a stick. You felt pressure. After all he and the church had done it would surely break the old mans heart. You squeezed your cross so hard it hurt before you let go. Without further protest you turned, hung your head low and placed your hands on the table. If you just do what he wants it will be over faster and you can go home and forget all this.

"Perfect darling…. stay just like that."

🚔

You kept your eyes closed and prayed. Lee whistled over to Arvin, signaling him to come closer as he tucked your panties into his pocket.

"I don't want no part of this."

Lee sighed loudly and shook his head in disappointment. Through your lashes you stared up at Arvin pleadingly. He seemed to be just as repulsed by his partner as you were. It looked as if he felt sorry for you as if he wanted to help, but all he could muster was that sympathetic look.

"If you're going to be apart of this unit your gonna need to man up. You can't always hide out in the corner. You're a virgin aren't you?" At Lee's accusation Arvin turned beet red. Lee laughed loudly at him, embarrassment riddled all over Arvin's features.

"All makes sense now. Why you're always acting all shy. Don't worry your secret is save with us… Aint that right darling?" Lee affirmed, slapping the back of the young officer hard, but playfully, bringing him closer by his shoulder.

"Yes sir." You responded weakly after Lee pinched your ass with his free hand. Arvin shoved his partner hard, giving himself some distance. You cried quietly to yourself when Lee pressed his belt buckle to your backside.

"I can tell by the way her hips set she aint." Lee joked, making you feel more humiliated as he lifted your skirt over your hips. You stifled a sob as Lee's calloused hands trailed up your thigh slowly.

"Listen here Arv., I took you on as a favor to your old man. He looked after me when I was coming up in the force and now it’s my turn to return the favor.” Lee said casually. You bit down on your lip and choke down a whimper as Lee forced a fat digit inside.

"Don't talk about my dad," Arvin hissed. He looked agitated and you hoped that would be enough to stop this, but Lee played on.

"Your father was a great man and a great teacher. Would’ve made sheriff if things had ended different….. I ain’t doin nothin he ain’t show me.” Lee reassured as he dipped in slowly and pulled out slower, you squirmed at the feel of the intrusion. Arvin kick the ground and shook his head as he listened. He caught your eyes in the mirror and you could see something break down inside him.

"This is a tradition. Everybody that done wore the badge has done it. Your father included. So we're going to make you a man today." He declared as you continued to sob.

"Oh watch this!" Lee exclaimed while curling a finger inside of you. A warmness in your belly bubbled over, forcing a moan to slip past your lips. You bit down hard after the outburst, ashamed of yourself from finding pleasure in his sin.

"See that she is breathing heavy now." Lee teased while adding another digit. He pushed in so deep that is knuckles rested on your cunt. The firmness made ripples sing out from your core. The devil was alive in this man and your soul felt weak against these unwanted desires.

Arvin's eyes drifted to your back side watching the display. He swallowed hard as his hands crossed over his belt, but it did little to hide the imprint forming in the seat of his pants.

"Now you give it a go." Lee pulled his fingers free, wiping your slickness on your ass. You panted pathetically relieved, but still throbbing with fire.

🚔

"Remember what I told you. Be a good girl." Lee reminded you.

Arvin took Lee's place hesitantly. Your legs felt weak and you strained to stay up right. You tried to focus on the dangling pendant and not them. This shall pass, this will be over, you just had to endure.

"Yes sir," you hiccuped. Tears pooled on the table as you waited for Arvin to violate you.

“Take your forefinger and index like this” Lee encouraged. Lee motioned with his finger while Arvin mimicked the instructions.

You balked lowly when you felt Arvin touched down the outline of your lips gently, his fingers curious of the bud poking through.

"Go on," Lee encouraged.

Arvin pressed against your lips, separating them gingerly. His nervous energy bled through your skin as the last semblance of hope faded. Any thought that you had that Arvin would be a hero was fully gone. You were nothing to them or less than nothing to them.

"Don’t tease her boy get in there. Show her you're a man!" Lee goaded the younger officer. Arvin's fingers stoked the devil's fire.

You squeezed Arvin's fingers the involuntary action making him growl. Your nails dug into the table while Arvin played and Lee coached. The older man acted like a proud father, cheering him on each time you moaned or bucked your hips. Your body didn't feel like your own, the devil had surely taken over you.

Wet slick sounds added to your shame and humiliation. The longer he moved inside the louder it sounded. You couldn't hear them anymore, too dizzy and light headed to focus.

“See all that shine. That means she's in need. Gotta put her out of her misery as they say." Lee said as he nudged Arvin.

🚔

A rolling pulse surged from his finger tips, ashamedly you pushed your hips hint him. A part of you didn't want to but another part needed it, like an itch that just had to be scratched.

The door snapped shut loudly and suddenly. The noise made. your head whip in its direction. The thought of more men coming to violate you had a resurgence of panic and fear. But to your surprise no one had entered, and Lee had gone.

Arvin stepped back and you were relieved. With the other officer gone you felt emboldened to push your skirt down and stand up right.

"Don't-"

"Please.." you pleaded weakly, cutting him off. Through the mirror you looked up at him, but he didn't look at you. The way he stared at himself in the mirror worried you.

"Don't look at me." He demanded still staring at himself. You moved

"Please, you don't have to do this."

Foolishly you turned to plead to him face to face, but Arvin caught your wrist, stopping you. You felt the remnants of your slick coated on his fingers as he gripped your wrist hard.

You whaled as Arvin contorted your arm behind your back wrenching it painfully.

He was clumsy and desperate as he held you down and wrestled with his pants with one hand. You stayed pressed to the table, focusing on the pain radiating from the connecting joints.

Your pleading was desperate and tantric yet Arvin trudged on. Tears bled over your face and all over the table. There was no notice or warning when his cock stretched you open.

You cried out loudly as new pain drew new focus throughout your whole body. The full girth of Arvin felt as if he ripped through your soul.

Arvin held you down with little to no effort. You couldn't push him off, couldn't run away, he trapped you in unending pain. He grunted as you gasped and sobbed. The hard top of the table jabbed into your hip with each thrust of his.

The pain broke something in you. The chorus of your body against his built a weird sensation that made you wild and you couldn't ignore it.

"Arvin," you panted out breathy. You wanted to believe you were going to plead to stop, but those protest choked you.

In the mirror his eyes looked lidded and focused on the connecting flesh. You feared the sight of yourself, feared that lust was written on you.

Your arm fell limp at your side, the ache dull in comparison to the twisted battering that filled you with confusion. Arvin smoothed down your hip until he rounded underneath. Your thighs locked around his hand as it burrowed in-between, forcefully petting the hidden bud.

Everything was hot, so hot you couldn't concentrate. His heavy breathing, his touch, his desperate rhythm worked to swallow you in fire. It felt like Arvin had sunk into your depths as if you were bottomless.

You moaned unable to fight the inferno erupting from his violation. You knew you shouldn't want it but you needed it. If this was slipping into sin you could see how so many had fallen.

Your toes curled in your shoes as the fire overtook your body. The heat burned brighter than the shame and guilt you felt. His cum the only thing that cooled the blaze.

🚔

You kept your head low out of the station and you hugged yourself. Home is were you wanted to be. A hot bath to scrub the sin off.

You didn't want to remember Arvin leaving you in a heap over the table. You didn't want to remember the cheers that bled through the mirror and the eyes that followed you out off the station.

"Church girl!” Lee shouted from behind. His keys jangled as you gulped down your nerve as he approached.

"Yes sir?" Your voice sounded horse, another shameful reminder of your hedonism. You were lucky your skirt came down well past your knees. The only blessing that helped to hide Arvin's seed that had trailed down your thigh.

"You forgot your reward. We got your record all cleared up. No need to worry about getting anymore letters about the speeding and parking tickets."

Bile built up again in your throat and you tried to ignore it. Lee seemed to study your face, enjoying your discomfort.

"Thank you sir."

"Need help?" Lee asked looking past you and at your car. You frowned and then followed his gaze. Your tires, all flat. Though the sight was shocking you didn't care you would drive it on its rim you just needed to get away.

"No it's fine sir." You tried to assure him, but he frowned back at you.

"Naw this aint no good. You can't go driving around like that." He tutted.

"Sir please you've already done so much." You tried not to sound panicked, but you were. The last thing you wanted to do was to be trapped in a car with him.

"No I won't take no for an answer darling. I'm taking you home, tomorrow I'll have Earl swing by and fix it right up for you. " There was no arguing or protesting. He was telling you how things were going to be and you had no power in refusing.

🚔

Lee let you sit in front while he drove. He took the long way to your home, the extended trip keeping you on edge even after he turned on to your street. The car ride was silent, the only thing you were thankful for.

The engine died in your driveway and you were quick to rush out the door. By the time you touched the handle to door locked before you could open it.

"Whoa whoa whoa darling, leaving so fast?" Lee asked casually with your back turned to him. "I went out of my way to help you get home. And this is the thanks I get?"

The leather seats whined and wheezed as he stretched out along the seat. His finger tips tickled your back, sending a cold chill down your spine while you stayed frozen. You winced when he let out an annoyed breath when you still didn't answer.

"I asked you a question darling."

"Thank you for the ride home sir." Your throat felt dry as you answered him, but your your eyes found no shortage in water.

Slyly you tried the door again, but it stayed locked. You felt broken and tired and wanted nothing more for this nightmare to end.

"Thank you? All I get is a thank you?" Lee scoffed.

"You know how I can tell you're not as good as you pretend to be?" Lee spat. "Look at me when I am talking to you!"

Your body trembled uncontrollably and your words came out just as shaky. "Sorry sir."

"Good god fearing girls don’t do what you did. Get as wet as you did. I watched you through that big old mirror. Watched you let loose for Arvin. Did my boy really good."

You looked down at your lap, squeezing your thighs tightly together. Arvin's dried cum scratched your skin as you soaked in the shame of what happened.

🚔

"Come over here."

He patted at the space next to him. Not wanting to anger him you scooted along the wide leather seat, when you were close enough he hugged you into his side, squeezing uncomfortably tight.

"I should've kept you to myself." Lee practically purred, picking up your chin. He focused solely on your lips as your tears trickled over his hand. Your lips trembled as he dragged his thumb across your bottom lip. "Something as sweet as you…., but I owed the boy's old man you see."

"I really appreciate all that y'all done for me Mr. Bodecker, but I got work in the morning." You tried to stop yourself from crying, but it was hard to do. The more you fought the more they would trickle down.

"Words aren't good enough darling. I need proof, action. You gotta make me believe your appreciative….Why don't you show me hmm?"

"Please you promised. I was good."

"You were good darlin… Really good… to Arvin, but I need you to be good to me…."

You looked around for help from the outside world, but found none. Your neighbor's houses were all dark and not a car had past since you arrived home.

"Don't worry about putting on a show for the neighbors. I want you to duck down and put those pretty lips around my cock."

🚔

Your hands shook as you unbuckled his belt. The clasp popped easily with your help and the stress of his bulge. Lee's cock bounced out when you unzipped him. He wasn't wearing nothing under his pants.

"Now I want you to open your mouth nice and wide." Lee said as he palmed the back of your head, forcing you into his lap as you balked. His cock was threateningly close, you pushed push on his thighs but the pressure from his hand kept you face to face with it.

"Open." Lee ordered firmly. You felt the order in his words and fear of what would happen if you didn't comply. You hesitated but when he began to squeeze you opened slowly. Your nails dug into his pants ferociously, but it didn't seem to bother him.

"That’s it." Lee let out a relaxing breath. You whined as you took him in. He controlled your movements. His legs spread wide in relaxation as you struggled to breathe.

"Take all of me in that sweet little mouth of yours." He hummed while you gagged. You dry heaved each time he forced you down. The convulsions bringing up sick that you swallowed back down.

"Oh your are soo bad. You can’t be a church girl. A good little Christian can't do this honey."

Your lips felt bruised and jaws ached. You sobbed endlessly throughout the assault which earned you praise.

When he shivered and held you down Lee spilled into your mouth. You choked and spit out, making a mess of the seat of his pants.

When he released your neck you shot up quickly, wiping your mouth as you gasped for more air.

"Oh shit darling look what you did." He tutted. "Guess I gotta go inside and have you clean me. Can't go home looking like this."

🚔

#Dark Lee Bodecker x Black Reader #Dark Lee x Black Reader #Dark!Lee x Black!Reader #Dark!Lee!Bodecker x Black!Reader #dark arvin x black!reader #dark!arvin x black!reader #dark arvin russel x reader #dark arvin russell x black reader #dark lee bodecker x reader #dark lee bodecker #dark lee x reader

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hughiecampbelle · 3 years

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Being Part of the Red Room and Befriending Bucky and Sam Would Include Pt. 3: (Part #1) (Part #2)

A/N: After watching Hawkeye some gaps in the story have been filled in, but we'll just ignore it cause headcanons are better than canon anyways right? :P Thank the lovely anon who thought of this!!! My love, I hope the wait was worth it!!! Final part my loves!!!! 💕Also, though I did pass elementary Russian, I'm using Google translate so please don't mind mistakes!!! There'd be way more if I used my v limited knowledge lol! I also love this gif I'm crying.

Sam had no idea Natasha had any siblings, let alone one that were alive, that knew who he was, where he lived

All he could think about was his sister, his nephews, but you were only interested in him, his knowledge about your sister

"For how long?"

"What?"

"How long, how long has she been gone?"

Bucky watched from the porch, making his way to you two

You didn't like him. From the way he looked at you, sizing you up, as if he knew all your weaknesses, he seemed to feel the same way about you

Sam could already hear him behind, stepping between the two of you

"Отойди, сторожевая собака." You stared directly at him, a direct order. "Back off, guard dog." Sam doesn't have to know what you said to understand you were only adding fuel to the fire

He gives Bucky a look before starting

"Five years ago, before. . . . ."

He knows he doesn't owe you an explanation, but the look on your face, he understands he's not the only one mourning in this crazy world. If he didn't tell you, he wasn't sure anyone would. You'd never get closure

At least, a step closer to it

"You're not serious."

"I took you in didn't I?"

"That's different."

They both know it isn't. You have nowhere to go. No one to go to. Your home in Madripoor has probably been destroyed. Raided, someone else already there. Your boss is dead. You have no idea where the rest of your family is. No clues. Nothing. All that work, all those Widows freed, but you're back to square one: alone and lost

Bucky didn't like the look of you. He knew what an assassin looked like because he was one. Whatever you did, whatever you saw, it followed you. Followed all of you. How could Sam be so sure you were safe? That this wasn't some messed up mission to kill them all?

Sarah adores you, so do the boys. After a quick talk, and a lot of details to explain later, she welcomed you with open arms. How could she not? The visible scars, the fear in your eyes, she knew you needed a home, if only temporary, and people in your corner

She couldn't imagine what you'd been through, and sure she was a little wary not knowing the full story, but she trusted Sam's judgment. If he believed in you, she would too.

She dug out some new clothes for you to wear, your other ones looking like the suit Lena used to wear - still wears, you try to remind yourself. As far as you know, she is still alive. But yours was tattered. Bloody.

You weren't expecting it at all. You were hesitant at first, defensive, not wanting to be near them any longer. But Sam promised to tell you everything about Tasha, to try to help you find Lena, and you couldn't pass it up. A night, maybe two, but nothing more

Bucky's already on one couch, so reluctantly you're sharing the same space. He doesn't sleep at all that first night, just watches you, readies himself in case you were to try anything

"Иди спать глупая сторожевая собака." He swears he hear you mumble before you fall asleep. "Go to sleep stupid Guard Dog."

You're never asleep long, though. If it's not old nightmares, it's new ones. Being a kid again. Dreykov. The Blip. Screaming out your families names, but never hearing a response. You don't scream anymore, not like you used to. You're shaken awake, gasping, sweating, scared. You know he's awake, pretending to snore, letting the front door slam behind you. Air. You need air. A walk. Anything to clear your mind.

He can't help but be faced with himself when he sees you.

Sam isn't surprised to find you gone, nor is he shocked when Bucky shrugs it off, glad you're gone.

It's AJ and Cass who find you outside, under the tree where they hung a tire swing. Behind the house, where it felt safe. Sam can hear you talking to them after following them out

"Did you find your sister?"

"Да, I have found my sister."

"Where is she? Is she coming here?"

"Нет, she is busy saving the world."

You'd always loved kids. What should have been sad only made you smile. Your Tasha, saving the world. They were so innocent, so curious, she couldn't tell them the truth. Besides, in a way, you guessed it was true.

Sam called them back in, going to you, making sure you were okay

"They are sweet. Keep them that way."

Sam assures you he'll do everything he can to find Yelena. You trust him. He has been nothing but nice. He said nothing but kind things about Tasha, never saying her name without a smile on his face

You watch them train, Sam with his shield, as they tell you all about the Avengers, their history, The Blip, etc.

One day turns to two, and then three, four, five. . . . .

You catch Bucky eyeing you. He's hyper aware when you're with Sarah, helping in the kitchen, telling her about all the meals your mother made when she was undercover. When you're showing the boys just how accurate you are with something as simple as a paperclip or baseball.

Sam is no stranger to his feelings: he makes it known

"Y/n hasn't done anything yet, do you really think they're dangerous?"

"I know they are."

You're tires of it. The judgements, the anger

He is Little Dreykov as far as you're concerned

"Я знаю, что ты сделал." You whisper to him, feeling particularly aggressive from feeling watched. "I know what you did."

He backs off after that, but remains wary

This odd little family dynamic is refreshing, and nostalgic. Sure, Alexei drank more and Melina never let you eat anything with sugar in it, but when you see them, you can't help but think of your sisters, being a kid again. Bucky keeps his distance, liking the idea of you near any of them, but Sam is welcoming enough for the both of them

He's not afraid to talk about her

"She wasn't afraid of anything."

"Are you kidding me? Tasha was scared of everything when we were kids."

You never meant to befriend Sam and Sarah, you never meant to intrude on their lives, but they didn't mind at all. They liked having you around, even you said some odd things. . . . .

"The government? No, no it was me who killed him. Me and the other Widows. Our mission. The government, that is funny!"

"Those children would make it in Red Room. Too small. Too weak."

"Anything can be a weapon if you are skilled enough, yes?"

"This scar I got from a ручка, a pen. Isn't that fun?"

Sam doesn't love the boys repeating any of this, and more

All this time, you and Bucky remain somewhat civil

It isn't until one night, he's dreaming of all the things he's done. Peoples he's hurt. People he's killed. You know you shouldn't, but he's annoying you, so you wake him up. You're standing over him, exhausted, repeating the same thing with a light pat, trying your best to comfort him

"Ты в безопасности, Bucky." It's the first time you call him his name instead of some cruel nickname. Over and over. "You are safe, Bucky."

It's strange. He doesn't know how to feel about it, and you don't speak of it again, but he's grateful for that moment, that comfort.

Sam is grateful, slowly, the two of you behind to get along, even if there is this passive-aggressivness to it

"You think you are so scary with metal arm."

"I'm scary because I was an assassin."

"That does not make you special."

Sam just shakes his head, wondering where his life went wrong so now he was collecting strays. Strays who killed more than he'd ever want to know

"You are nice Sam, that is why you get stuck with with us."

"Stuck with you." Bucky will often say.

"Не кусайся, собака." You snap. "Don't bite, Dog."

Friendships are still something you're trying to navigate

It was one thing you weren't taught in the Red Room

Sometimes you and Bucky communicate solely through Russian

"Ты тупой?" "Are you stupid?"

"Не ты." "No, you."

You call him Guard Dog even though he hates it, a nickname he knows he'll have to warm up to unfortunately because you'll never stop

Sam hates when you do because he can never tell if/when you're fighting

"If that was mean, take it back. If it wasn't, ignore me."

Eventually Bucky apologizes for his behavior, and you understand

It's taken you a long time to warm up to strangers, too

You definitely show off when you train together

"You call yourself Avengers?"

They give you the time and space to mourn your sister while also celebrating her and her accomplishments

"Natasha could be scary."

"Of course she is scary, she is Russian." You say with pride.

You wouldn't say you're the Three Musketeers yet, but you're close. They're the first friends you've ever had. You understand why Tasha liked Sam, why she became part of this big team. You understand it all now

Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @writerdream22 @brithedemonspawn @megnotfound @ladyeliot @locke-writes @thedarkqueenofavalon @fangirlsarah16 @randomfandomimagine @amirahiddleston @diana-westmoon @glitchybrit @lost-girl-of-onceuponatime

#requested #headcanon #avengers #avengers headcanon #marvel #marvel headcanon #fatws #fatws headcanon #sam wilson #sam wilson headcanon #bucky barnes #bucky barnes headcanon #falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier headcanon #series #ennasfavorites

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trans-cende · 3 years

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Hi! So I'm transmasculine (he/they), and my mom has gradually become more accepting of my identity, but still refuses to use my chosen name (partially with good reason: I'm not out to anyone else in my family) and is reluctantly starting to try to refer to me with they/them pronouns (she's of the mind that it's grammatically incorrect). It's nice that my mom is starting to accept it, but I don't think she (or anyone, for that matter), will see me as anything other than female until I start looking the part. I have no desire to transition, and I'm overweight, not quite plus size. I've already cut my hair, and asked for a binder (to which I have not been given an answer), and every time I'm out somewhere with my mom we're referred to as 'ladies', and it's really irritating.

tldr: I'm a transmasculine nb with no desire to transition, but I feel like I can't look masculine without transitioning (or at least losing weight). I don't know what to do.

First of all, you do not need to lose weight. The mindset that if you were to lose weight you would look more masculine helps feed into disordered eating. Fat men exist, fat non binary people exist, fat masculine people exist. And there is nothing wrong with being fat.

Secondly, you don't need to look nonbinary to be nonbinary. If your mom seems willing to learn, try sending her resources you feel amplify your experience, and help her understand.

Dealing with dysphoria and misgendering is tough. Not everyone passes, and thats okay. It doesnt mean you are any less nonbinary.

If you are interested in dressing more masculine or in men's clothing, that could help alleviate some dysphoria. Small things like wearing men's underwear, t shirts, or jeans are not going to be noticed by others if you are afraid of being outed or having to explain yourself.

You can also try using mens products such as men's deodorant, shampoo, body wash, etc.

As someone who does not pass, I have found it more beneficial to focus on what makes me comfortable and how I like presenting vs. what will make me appear "nonbinary". My gender is my own, and I owe no explanation to others. Same for you.

#asks #transitioning

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sparrowsabre7 · 4 years

Text

Ok, guess it's Higgs murder time. Ah not yet, final connection first. It definitely is quite haunting being in a more urban environment, there's a real smell of death and decay as opposed to the vibrancy of life seen in the greener landscapes. The large dam wall or whatever it is creates an imposing presence too.

Oh what the fuck, giant jellyfish of death. Swell. Well this is horrid. At least a single shot from the rifle seems to see them off and not attract others if they land in my path . Oh goddammit, my climbing anchor is destroyed, gonna be fall damage city I guess. Plenty of cryptobiotes around though thanks to all the piss mushrooms (which is a thing I only recently learned about).

Wow just slicing my way through the regular BTs right now, here's some classic zingers you can feel free to use:

Mind if I cut in?

Would you like to hear the benefits of going cordless?

Do you fancy a slice?

Feel free to leave of your own a-cord.

Slice to see you, to see you slice.

I'm cutting you out. Of life.

Anyway, shoved in the activation key. I do wonder how much longer the game would be if you didn't skip ANY cutscenes. Like the delivery of the package, Sam showering, peeing, pooing, adding something to the Chiral network. It's the same each time but given the frequency it all adds up.

Chiral network complete! I feel like there could have been a bit more fanfare instead of being told "your done now go to your room".

More beach time, wearing clothes this time though Amelie is dressed as Higgs but also is giant. She also says "I am the extinction entity" with a joker grin and violent camera shake zoom and the screen going red as though that's some big reveal like it hasn't been a) theorised for a good hour now and b) she already outright told me at distro.

Now my room is in panic mode so I guess it finally is Higgs murder time.

Just gonna check my mail first though.

Deadman goes full Para Medic on me in an email about films and how My Fair Lady might be about London Bridge and about a living sacrifice built in the foundation which seems like the heaviest foreshadowing ever. Wondering if Amelie can only exist on the beach and essentially stays dead to keep the UCA going or some shit. He also name drops Shape of Water which is funny.

Ok, out we go and ho lee fuck, that's a big BT. This dude is "make my monster grow" size. Higgs is here being all weird and monologuing. I still don't really get why he wants to destroy the world... hopefully he'll explain in his inevitable death monologue.

Amelie is stuck in the chest of the BT like Rita Repulsa from the 2017 Power Rangers movie so unclear how I'm meant to save her. Oh, Higgs just ported her out of the BT. That makes things easier. Hmm he stuck his mask on her and now she's talking creepy. Like... is the mask magic? Is it a truth serum, I really don't get it. It's also electric and stuff just.. anyway, she's saying she will soon emerge all beaches into a single shore which will cause an extinction event.

"Surely you've figured it out by now." I haven't actually, please mansplain for me, Higgs. Amelie is the source of DOOMS, the nightmares and visions of the future - ok, I had sort of had that in my head as one of the options given that Bridget's baby may have been a BT and Amelie said she was born on the beach - oh, and that was the end of the explanation... I was hoping for a little more specificity.

Ok, boss fight now and Amelie is back in the BT but so is Higgs so betting he's the weak point. Ok, seems to be going well, normal firearms work better on Higgs than the BT stuff which, as with normal BTs, is actually quite pathetic damage wise. Glad I made the grenade launcher and rocket launcher to take with me, though already running low.

Damn,switched to shoulder which is more awkward, I guess I'll have to rely on BT weapons. Thanks to all the creepy player mannequins.

BOOM BABY! Big boi is down. Oh ma , all that chiralium just disappearing into the ether...

Ah you prick you're still alive... oh sick, Lou is using the odradek to deflect Higgs' shots. NO! You fucking shit head! You shot at Lou. This is bad, I don't k ow if BBs can survive without their lil jar thing. Oh and after what I said last post about the licking, maybe Higgs is a pervert after all since he's slung Amelie over his shoulder but is unnecessarily holding her by the ass.

Ah shit, now Sam's dying and Higgs says he's going to see me on the beach... ok, so I've repatriated... how do I get to the beach?

Maybe by sleeping? I could get to Amelie in dreams. Nope, that's not the way. Do I... kill myself?

Will have to pause it there as I hear the kittens have woken up.

Obligatory kitten tax:

#death stranding #sparrowsabre7 plays death stranding

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cheanlenu · 8 years

Text

Seeking a long term RP partner

Hello all. It has been quite some time since I last posted, but I am looking once again for a long term partner. This is for an original work of mine. A combination of high fantasy, and high science fiction. I am looking for a female partner. With that said, I won’t do MxM. I prefer MxF, but can be persuaded to do FxF. Now with that out of the way a little about my do’s, and don'ts. I am over 18 so as far as smut goes I am ok with it. Personally I do not revolve my RP around smut, but just like real life it can happen. I like building relationships in an RP from the ground up. I do have a few limits as far as smut goes, but I will discuss those with my partner after our first meeting. Let me just say I don’t like extremes, and fetishes. I don’t tend to fade to black, bit will If my partner wishes to. I prefer to RP in a relaxed atmosphere, and one can’t do that if your partner feels uncomfortable.

What I am looking for is someone to play one of the various roles there are available on an intergalactic star ship. It can be anywhere from captain, and on down to a mechanic. In the story there are three major plots taking place, and five sub plots. There are also three major factions to be aware of as well. These are things I will explain to who is interested. Now I do have room for if more than one person wishes to join. The story was originally designed for up to fifteen people.

Now I am a bit grammatically challenged, and make mistakes myself. I do not expect to find perfection, and I hope you will extend me the same liberty. I do however expect at least one paragraph responses. I do understand in certain situations a multi paragraph response might not be possible. Trust me I have been written into a corner before, on many occasions. I do need to be able to read, and understand what is written. So I will not accept shorthand, or text speak. I have friends where english is not their native tongue, so translation errors are overlooked. Trust me I have become rather good at reading translation errors. I am a story teller at heart, and tend to get rather absorbed into the roles I play. A writer I am not, but wish I were. I work long hours, sometimes up to sixteen a day for six days a week. So sometimes it takes me a day to write a response. I try not to write when I am so exhausted I can’t hold my head high enough to read the screen. I have included below a little sample, and a little backdrop. If your interested shoot me an email, or contact me on discord. Hope to hear from you.

The year is 3098 A.D., and it has been almost one hundred years since its discovery. In the year 3000, an exploration team, on the primitive planet of Toril, made a rather startling discovery. They discovered a large ship. At first the team had no idea what they had found. They just assumed it was a remnant of a lost civilization. As they dug deeper, and uncovered more of it. They soon realized, this was no buried city. Though the leader of the team still thought as much considering its size. They spent weeks trying to find a way inside. Finally, when they were just about to give up. The leader located something she thought might be a door. For hours, they tried everything they could think of, to open the door. Finally, without warning or reason, it just opened. A loud hiss as the air rushed out. A stale musty smell of decay and oil. Several of the team lost their lunch. The door stood half open. almost inviting their curiosity. The team gathered some spare torches, and with lit lanterns went inside.

They were amazed at how much metal it took to build this, and at how smooth the walls were. They were puzzled by the strange markings on the walls, and devices on the ceiling. They pressed on into the huge metal building. After about an hour of climbing and hiking. They finally came to a huge open room. This room had chairs, and all manor of glass faced tables in front of them. They discovered the remains of several bodies, long since decayed by these chairs. The leader was rather curious as to the one who still sat in the chair in the middle. There was a shinny metal symbol still pinned to the all but decayed clothing. When she reached out and picked it up, she felt a sharp stick and dropped it. Looking at her finger there was a drop of blood from a small pin hole in her finger. Suddenly the room became bright, and all the glass tables lit up. The hum of electricity began to crackle through the air, and the team all backed up. Some were scared enough to draw weapons. A crackle is heard along with some static.“Buzz…fttt…buzz..ftt. DNA sample accepted. Restarting command protocols for new captain. Password locks removed. DNA access registered. Race unknown. Beginning system status checks. Engines off line. Weapons off line. Shields off line. Life support off line. External scanners fifty percent operational. Internal scanners seventy percent operational. Power systems off line. Battery backup sixty-three percent. Medical on line full power reserve and subsystems on line. Cryosleep systems on line. Central core forty percent. Detecting heavy damage to brain core. Memory systems…attempting restore….unable to restore. Memory modules missing.” The voice then ends.

In the moments that passed the team looked very confused. They begin to come away from the wall and look around again. The leader however still looking dazed by what just happened. Suddenly an image of a man in a uniform materializes in from of her. The image is shaky and fades in and out. He looks right at the leader and says. “Greetings captain. I have been waiting a very long time for you. My name is William, and you don’t know how pleased I am to have you aboard.” He pauses for a moment as he takes a closer look at her. “Ohhhh….Ummm. This is going to be a very long and awkward explanation. It still does not change the fact I am happy to see you. I was however expecting someone a bit more up to date.” He makes the sound of clearing his throat. “Seeing as though you haven’t run away screaming. That makes what I am about to ask easier. Now as far as my captain goes I will explain everything later. Right now however there is a matter that is more urgent. Currently on board there are 2500 survivors in a deep sleep. The power that is keeping them alive is being depleted fast. Which means there is damage somewhere I can’t see. It would take to long to explain how to fix it. To wake up the survivors is much easier. I beg of all of you please help me save them.” The leader looks at her team and they all nod at her. She looks back at the man with a smile. “You owe me a big explanation, and of course we will help you. We would never let anyone die. If we can help them we will do our best.” The man looks relieved. “I promise I will explain everything. I will light the way to the cryosleep chamber. Just follow the lights, and I will walk you through everything once there.”

He vanishes and the door opens. She and her team head with haste down the hall following the lighted path. When they finally reach the bay. They find several of the sleep chambers open, and remains of bodies next to them. The image of the man materializes in the bay. This image is clearer than the previous one. “I am glad to see all of you made it without to much trouble.” He looks down at the remains. He sighs, and closes his eyes for a few moments. “Your loss, and names will not be forgotten. Captain, since you have the only command access at the moment. I need you to operate the main life support console.” He points to a large console in a small room in the bay. “Don’t worry I will walk you through everything.” He looks at the other members of her team. “Once she begins the process I will need your help at each pod. The pods will open one at a time, and there will be flashing lights on the side. Each of you man an opening pod, and when all the lights turn greed push the red button.” He walks over to a pod and points to the button. “If the lights don’t all turn green there is nothing we can do. I will try to get medical personal first to assist if I can. Unfortunately my memory systems have suffered major damage. So this is going to be hit or miss. Once the person in the pod starts breathing pull the large cord out of the end. With each pod disconnected we can conserve some energy and buy us more time. It is going to take quite a long time to do this, and on behalf of the Elyssian people I thank you.” He bows deeply.

The process takes them almost an entire day. During which time he explains everything he can to the leader, and his new captain. The people on board are refugees from a dying world. Their sun was going nova, and their only hope was to escape. They hatched a plan to evacuate as many people as they could save on ships just like him. They had a course and destination set for an uninhabited world. Something went wrong however. Somehow the engines and navigation system failed, and they crashed way off course. He then explains that he and his people have been asleep for nearly a thousand years under that mountain. He explains how she became his new captain. There is a built in protocol that only allows him to survive as long as he has a captain. He has been surviving all this time, by putting all his systems on maintenance subroutines. He kept cycling them through maintenance checks, but he was nearly out of time. When she came along he had just about given up. So he made a hasty choice, and kept apologizing for doing so. Soon she learns much of their story, or as much as his memory still remembers. She also discovers that he is an organic life form. The ship itself is actually alive, and has organic systems as any creature would. His memory core is actually a living brain. Also with the incorporation of her DNA into his systems. The tissue that makes up his systems has begun to rewrite its DNA sequence to match hers. Further integrating her into his systems as his new captain. He gets a little scared at the fact she has stayed rather calm through everything he has told her.

Finally, by the third day, most of the passengers they were able to save were up and about. Out of the 2500 total they were able to save around 1900. Some of the pods were damaged in the crash, and some just failed to function. She takes a long look at William. “You have been calling me captain for three days now. I do not know how the protocol is on the world you came from but here we have names. My name is Calinis and I would like you to remember that and start using it. If I am stuck with you as you say then your going to use my name. If you don’t I will find a way to chisel it into your brain. That is an order.” He stands up straight and salutes. “Aye aye Captain Calinis.” She sighs. “Better. I guess that will have to do. Now we have a much bigger problem. Your people can’t stay here forever, and they can’t actually go to the surface on my world. I think the culture shock would be enough. That is not to mention the techno shock. I think it best if we try to get you repaired and back into space. Though that is going to be rather difficult considering we are under almost a mile of rock. I will provide a list of resources I can get for your engineers, and they can figure out how to make them work. Though I am happy to hear your engines run off of water. That I can get you plenty of. Food as well for your passengers. Your hydroponics…is it…was destroyed. So they will need sustenance. I will also gather some trusted friends to assist us as well. We will need as much help as we can muster. So just sit tight and don’t go anywhere.” She smiles and he gives her a very sarcastic look.

However things did not go as planned. The ship was repaired within the next three months. Unfortunately during that time, some of the technology got leaked to the planet of Toril. The leak was small at first, but the damage was already done. It began to spread, and to many questions were being asked. It seemed the harder Calinis tried to contain it the worse it got. Within a year the damage was beyond repair. The people of Toril began to change. So being unable to stop the tidal wave. Calinis decided to embrace it. She took the time, and contacted leaders from several nations. She held a meeting between them, herself, and William. Slowly she began to convince them that to limit the damage already done. The people of Toril needed to educated to what was going on. That way the technology wont cause more harm. After things started to calm down, and the people of Toril became more accustomed to the new technology, and way of life. Calinis thought it high time to begin the search for the remaining ships. If all of them crashed as William had then there is a chance to save more of his people. Though neither her nor William had any idea where to start looking. This also falls into the factor that the expanse of space being a much larger ground to cover. As well as the factor that these ships will more than likely be needing a new captain. She knew she was going to need help, and a lot of it. Her and William talked it over in great length before coming up with a plan. With the help of her team, and some of the Elyssian people. She was going to teach, and train people to help, and be captains. William volunteered himself for the use of training the new help. Turning himself into an academy to train new cadets for the search.

My email: [email protected]

Discord Handle:Cheanlenu#6898

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cheanlenu · 8 years

Text

Seeking an long term RP partner.

My email: [email protected]

Discord Handle:Cheanlenu#6898

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