#I don't want to clutter the tag so I'll post a bit at a time

[aquietlifesblog]

Hungry Eyes (Dio X F!Reader) 1/6

He met Lord Pendleton before—he’d come once to visit the Joestar estate. The man took one look at Dio and decided he wasn’t worth acknowledging.

Your features may have been darker but you carried his face.

OR

Dio Brando knows what it's like to be hungry, to reach for more in life. He can use your ambition to destroy the man who slighted him and discard you just as easily.

He never planned to like you.

Read the Full Story on AO3 I thought it would be fun to publish this on Tumblr, where I might be inclined to share more of my thoughts.

| Masterlist |

Prologue: An Uneventful Youth

Before the hunger overtook you, when you were nothing but a scullery maid, you had ambition. You wouldn’t stand in the shadow of nobility, nor would you resign yourself to a life cutting vegetables and scrubbing wine stains from the floor.  

No. You knew what the servants whispered, what the mirror confirmed. 

‘Erina isn’t his only daughter.’ 

‘He rolled around with the kitchen maid.’ 

‘You can’t deny the resemblance.’ 

‘Poor Lady Pendleton; it must be awful to look upon her every day.’ 

Erina never asked about it. Why would she? You inherited your Mother’s traits, her hair and eyes, and her complexion. Your face, however, was your father’s face. 

“He’ll never claim you,” your mother said before dying, “ but he’ll keep you safe here. Don’t resent him for that. ” 

‘Safe,’ you thought, ‘and locked away where the nobles will never see me.’ 

You were the same age as Erina—but you would never carry the Pendleton name. You would never marry a kind and noble man to improve your lot in life, nor would you be given prospects. 

Not unless you forced a change. 

So, as Erina chattered endlessly about her carefree days and growing interest in calligraphy, you smiled and gave your sister grapes from the storeroom. 

“Thank you, these are perfect!” Erina beamed. She placed the grapes into her basket and waved goodbye. You smiled, as you always did, until the young mistress vanished from sight. 

‘I hope you choke on those grapes,’ you thought, before returning to your duties. 

And so went your uneventful youth—until the day you met Dio.

| Next Chapter |

[tj-dragonblade]

[FIC] Chaos and Calm

Fandom: The Sandman Pairing: Dreamling Rated: G Word Count: 1551 Tags: fluff, domesticity, single dads, pre-relationship, outings in the park, feeding the ducks, rain

Notes: For Day 1 of Dreamling Week 2024 as organized by @mr-sadman, for the prompt 'hunt'. Also dedicated to the wonderful @chaosheadspace, whose single-dads AU Castle in the Sand rotates in the back of my head quite often - I meant to have this coincide with your birthday but didn't quite make it, alas.

Summary: Searching for rain boots and meeting friends in the park. No real plot, just meandering domestic parenting vibes.

On AO3

"Robyn! You 'bout ready, kiddo?"

Hob winces at the sound of something heavy thudding on the floor above, and then his son appears at the top of the stairs. "I can't find my boots!"

Hob suppresses the urge to sigh. "Do you remember where you had them last?"

Robyn's brow furrows. "Maybe? They might be in the cupboard? But I think I might have used 'em as astronaut boots and forgot to put 'em back."

"Did you check by the washing machine?"

"Not yet."

"Okay. You keep looking in your room; I'll check down here and then come help you look if I don't find them."

"'Kay." Robyn scrambles back up from where he'd started down the stairs and dashes back to his room, and Hob heads to check the coat cupboard in the front hallway.

They're meant to be meeting Dream and Orpheus at the park in fifteen minutes. The day has turned out to be dreary and grey, light rain off and on keeping it misty and damp and a raincoat plus wellies are definitely called for.

If only he or his son could be relied upon to consistently put things back in their expected places. Ellie had always scolded them about it, gently, and for all the years since she's been gone Hob has kept trying to do better, but it's not always top of his mind and they're both surviving okay, despite the current inconvenience.

He checks the bottom of the coat cupboard; no boots.

He lets the sigh out this time, since Robyn's not there to see the frustration. He checks the utility room next, where last year's too-small snow boots are still sitting next to this year's because Hob hasn't gotten round to dropping them off at the charity shop yet. This year's snow boots will have to do if they can't find the wellies, but he's not giving up yet.

He's not going to tear the house apart looking, either, though; he's eager to get going. Letting Robyn spend time with his best friend is important, but also. Hob really looks forward to seeing Dream, for—well. For lots of reasons, that he's comfortably aware of but cautious about acting on because the kids would be caught in the middle if it didn't work out and that's the last thing he wants. Right now he just wants to let himself enjoy the possibilities. Hanging out, conversations while the kids play, watching Dream's pretty face go soft and expressive as they talk.

So. Best check all the likely spots in this comfortably-cluttered chaos he lives in, then, so they can find the boots and get going. It would certainly be easier if his home was less messy, but he's a single dad with a very active kid, he teaches secondary school, and taking the time to make his home look like a magazine spread is just not on his agenda. And sure sometimes it bites him in the arse, like now, but most times the chaos is of a manageable level and more importantly, it works for them.

Just. Not today, apparently.

He pulls his phone from his pocket, fires off a quick text to Dream.

May be a few minutes late We've a crisis of missing wellies over here Keep you posted

Dream's response comes through almost instantly.

I wish you luck in your hunt, then. We will wait.

Hob smiles, tucks the phone back in his pocket and heads up the stairs to join the search.

Robyn's room is a little bit of a disaster zone, as he's been throwing things around in his haste, and Hob kneels to crawl around the floor and help him look. He'll help him straighten up later, too, but for now they're boot-hunting.

Robyn is a little worried, as it turns out. "What if Orpheus and his dad leave before we get there? What if they think we're not coming because I can't find my stupid boots?"

Hob laughs, a small laugh full of kindness. "They wouldn't," he assures, pulling his kid into a one-armed hug as they sit on the floor. "And besides—I texted Orpheus's dad so they know we're running late." He drops a kiss in Robyn's hair. "Now let's find those blasted wellies so we can get going, yeah?"

The boots are not under the bed, or the desk in the corner; they're not in the toy chest, nor the basket for Robyn's dirty laundry, nor under the laundry that hasn't quite made it into the basket. Hob helps that last category get to where it was meant to be and sits back with a sigh, making a mental note—and hopefully he'll remember later—to be sure to run a load of Robyn's clothes.

"Alright, kiddo, is there anywhere you haven't looked yet?"

Robyn ponders for a moment, face scrunched in thought, and then lights up. "Oh!" He scrambles off the floor and over to the wardrobe, yanks it open. Hob would have thought that would be the first place to check, so he hadn't looked himself but obviously he should have, because Robyn dives into it with a little yell of victory and emerges with a boot held high in either hand and triumph radiating from his grin.

~ They're only a little bit late to the park; Robyn and Orpheus spot each other at the same instant and yell in excited unison, charging across the wet grass and crashing into a hug that also involves a lot of jumping up and down. Hob grins at their enthusiasm, eyes searching beyond them to find Dream looking for him as well; the smile that blooms on Dream's face, visible even at this distance, makes Hob's heart do a pleasant little flop in his chest.

"Your hunt was successful, I see," Dream says, when they are close enough for speaking; they are trailing after the boys, who are cavorting in the general direction of the duck pond, splashing in collected puddles on the path. Dream's got his umbrella up, even though it's not raining right this moment, which somehow just enhances his general goth vibe.

Hob stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, time to do a major cleaning. His room's a bit of a mess but we finally found his wellies in the wardrobe. Which honestly would have been the first place I checked if I'd realized he hadn't. Kid brains work on different logic, I suppose."

"True." Dream shifts a little, casts a glance sideways at Hob. "Robyn is fortunate to have a father so skilled at finding lost items."

"Got a lot of experience misplacing my own crap," Hob offers, laughing to cover the flustery warmth seeping into his chest at Dream's simple compliment. "And he found the boots himself, just needed some help thinking it through."

"As I said. He is fortunate to have your guidance," Dream reiterates, and Hob is saved from having to respond when Robyn comes running back to where the two of them have stopped at the path's edge. Orpheus is over by the pond, bending down to peer between the rails of the short wooden fence that surrounds it as several ducks swim toward him.

"Dad! Did you bring the peas? The ducks're hungry!" There's eager excitement in Robyn's voice and Hob smiles.

"'Course I did, kiddo, here." He rummages in the bag at his hip, slung comfortably across his chest, and hands over the snack-size freezer bag of peas; Robyn thanks him and dashes back over to Orpheus. Whether or not the ducks are 'hungry' is arguable, but Hob won't deny his kid the human joy of personifying the world around him nor of feeding the ducks, which is generally their purpose in coming to this park. He glances sideways at Dream—who is Hob's own private secondary reason for any of the activities they do together with their kids—and finds him watching the boys with the softest little smile crinkling the corners of his eyes.

He's so beautiful.

It starts raining, then, just a light misty sprinkle. The boys put up the hoods on their raincoats and carry on tossing peas to the eager birds who've gathered for the feast; Hob is about to dig his own umbrella out of his bag but Dream steps closer and shifts his own broad umbrella over Hob as well. His arm presses up against Hob's, from shoulder to elbow, and Hob swallows the urge to lift his arm and put it around Dream's shoulders, leans solidly into the touch instead. It's nice.

It's so, so nice, and Hob revels in the imagined warmth he can feel seeping into the contact despite the layers between them, the way that seconds turn to minutes and neither of them moves away, how they both watch their boys in comfortable silence. Hob's thoughts and emotions often feel chaotic and jumbled up in the same way his house manages to be a mild-but-functional disaster zone but this—sharing an everyday domestic moment with Dream, the casual unremarked closeness between them—it quiets something in his head, makes anything and everything seem gloriously possible.

This, this is a feeling worth finding, a feeling he did not even realize he was searching for.

He is still entirely grateful to have found it.

= Started: 6/2/24 Drafted: 6/3/24 Posted: 6/3/24

[enbyhyena]

New Intro Post! (07/08/24)

(reference sheet of shenzi by @abby_flowertale, who sadly currently lacks any social media!)

Hello everyone! Welcome to my new intro post. My old one was starting to get a bit cluttered, so I thought I'd clean up a bit.

My name is Nexys, and I am an autistic disabled content creator on Twitch, YouTube, and TikTok.

Currently, I am going live every MONDAY and FRIDAY from 6-10pm CST. (What time is that for me?) TikTok uploads are daily, and YouTube uploads are twice-weekly.

Click here to visit my Linktree, a portal for my major social media platforms including Discord.

I have no specific DNIs, but I block liberally to curate my experience, and I myself post whatever I want (SFW). If you end up blocked, it's nothing personal. (I am fully anti-harassment, radically inclusive, pro-endogenic systems, and do not engage with shipcourse. I am willing to have civil discussions with people who disagree, but any hostile engagements will be blocked and ignored.)

Common Tags:

#nexysmusings - posts where i share my thoughts in some way, be it by text or through the tags.

#nexysdraws - my art tag!

#rant - when i get passionate about something, positive or negative, i'll use this.

#resources / #important - if you're looking for any sort of help on any subject, from finances to art tutorials, these are the tags i often use. hopefully they help someone!

#enbyhyena - this is the tag i use when specifically posting about my content creation, advertising my streams going live, etc. feel free to use this tag in your posts to boost my content or get my attention. :)

#suggestive - this is a SFW blog, but sometimes i may reblog mildly suggestive posts, especially if they're funny. feel free to block this tag if you don't want to see that.

#posts that make me piss myself - posts that i found especially funny! good for a quick laugh if you need one. :)

Thanks, I hope you have a lovely day/night!

[telomeke]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

I was tagged by @lamonnaie at this post here. Thanks for tagging me! 😍 It was such fun to read your responses; now here are mine. 🥰

do you make your bed?

Never ever. I'm pretty messy, and if I don't watch my hoarding tendencies I will morph into the worst pack rat. But I like a bit of clutter around me; I think it helps my creative side since my output (whether at work, or writing on Tumblr) is always tidy and tidied up to a fault, which can stifle creativity (at least that's what I tell myself! 🤣).

what's your favourite number?

Don't have one. However (even though I like to think I'm not superstitious) if I can I'll try to avoid the number 13 and anything with 4 in it...

what is your job?

Not gonna get too specific, but my work involves design, project management and construction.

if you could go back to school, would you?

I was too stressed out at school to want to repeat the experience. But I wouldn't mind a bit of time travel back to advise my younger self not to take things so seriously! 🤣

can you parallel park?

Yes. Not well, but the car will be fully in the lot eventually. 👍

a job you had that would surprise people?

Some minor modeling jobs when I was younger. Hush! I don't like to talk about it. 🤫 You wouldn't think it to look at me now (me 🤝 Ricky Gervais 😂).

do you think aliens are real?

There are too many planets out there for our little blue marble to be the only habitable one, so yes I do think there are aliens out there. I just don't think we've been visited by them yet though! (Aylin doesn't count. 🤩)

can you drive a manual car?

Yes. Mom taught me how to drive in one... until the day I jammed on the accelerator when she said "Step on it" and I almost up-ended us into a ditch. Then I was sent to driving school instead. 🤣

what's your guilty pleasure?

Ooh. It's this bad boy here:

Sadly I've been over-indulging, so chocolate is now banned from the house for the foreseeable future. I'm still lusting after it though. Other guilty pleasures: I do like a good nightcap, so any (gluten grain-free) alcohol makes me light up – cognac, cabernet, sherry, sake, port... (But I don't always know my limits, so this is now banned too.) And a steamin', stonkin', trashy BL every now and then (bonus if there's a nice muscley actor for me to get all googly-eyed over – shoutout Gap Jakarin!). 😁🥰

tattoos?

I like art and have fanboyed over beautiful tattoos before – but I'm put off by the permanence of them, so I have none myself. Don't like the idea of not being able to change them much once they're inked in, because I will always be wanting to change things up if I were to get one. And no, even for looking at I prefer an uninked bod over an inked one. It takes a lot of work to get a body in shape, and I can't understand someone wanting to cover up the results of their hard work at the gym. 🤷‍♂️

favorite color?

A deep, rich blue most of the time. But when the mood hits, I like a bright, bold red too.

favorite type of music?

My tastes are a bit eclectic, leaning lighter and not challenging. Anything with a strong melodic line will get me hooked. Bonus points if the lyrics can come together with the melody to tell a story, and elevate it even more. So – pop mostly, but I also like R&B, soul, light jazz and the odd heartfelt country ballad or foot-stomper (go Queen Bey! 😍). Also like things with a nostalgic bent (I melt at Karen Carpenter, Seals & Croft, and England Dan & John Ford Coley). And then throw in a couple of show tunes in there for good measure! My YouTube playlist is all over the place – Sheila Majid, New Country, Renaissance, Nunew, Miley Cyrus, Streisand, Li'l Nas X, Ayumu Imazu, The Carpenters, Clean Bandit, so many others, all side-by-side.

do you like puzzles?

I love them, especially word and logic puzzles. I'm always shouting over Pat and Vanna. 🤣

any phobias?

Oddly, not the usual suspects, but I'm a bit phobic about birds. They're just creepy up close, even though I find them fascinating and beautiful with a bit of distance. While the bog-standard creepy-crawlies don't bother me one bit – I'm the one always getting called in to whack the roaches and chase away rodents. I dream of getting a cobalt blue tarantula as a pet (but that's not going to happen for various reasons, alas).

favorite childhood sport?

I wasn't that sporty growing up (classic bookworm) but I did enjoy a bit of soccer when I got to play. But I guess my favorite was probably swimming, though I didn't compete.

do you talk to yourself?

All the time. There's a nonstop monologue going on in my head and I've been known to startle people by accidentally voicing that conversation out loud. So I've learnt not to do it around others. 🤣 And no I'm not hearing disembodied voices; it's just me keeping myself company (plus I find it helps me focus my thoughts).

what movies do you adore?

My all-time favorite: Cinema Paradiso; it really pulls unabashedly at the heartstrings, but then again I'm a sentimental fool and love it all the more for that. That's also why I like Love Actually, especially the scene where the repressed Jamie (Colin Firth) travels to Portugal in order to confess his feelings to Aurélia (Lúcia Moniz), having realized he loves her despite the language barrier, and doggedly learnt Portuguese just to make his declaration – and then he finds out that she, lovelorn and bereft, learnt English just in case ("just in cases") he came back. 💖 And my second favorite is from the other end of the spectrum, actually quite a bit before my time as well: Hello Dolly! 😆 Don't judge... A couple of songs in there are really amazing – Love is Only Love and Just Leave Everything to Me especially (which are not in the stage version) are mindblowingly good. The former is almost pithy in its bare-boned purity, all about looking at love without sentimentality while reprising themes heard earlier on in the musical; the latter has the among the cleverest lyrics set to music I've ever heard:

Streisand is in fine fettle portraying a campier, more youthful incarnation of Dolly. Such a shame it was not better received. The costumes are spectacular too.

coffee or tea?

Coffee (or rather the caffeine it contains) is my drug of choice, and I drink buckets of it. But I like a good cuppa when I'm feeling nostalgic and/or sentimental, because tea is what I drank a lot of growing up – at my gran's there would be a perpetually-replenished, giant kettle of dark, bitterish Oolong on the sideboard for whenever you felt like some (which was often), while at home there was always a big pot of tea on the table in the morning, that would then be set to chill in the refrigerator after breakfast. I would always have an ice-cold milk tea with the papers when I got home from school, and it was my favorite daily ritual.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

A paleontologist – like a lot of kids I loved dinosaurs, and I can still rattle off the names of the more well-known ones (including every one in Jurassic Park 👀). But that got pushed aside for more practical considerations later. Still wish I'd explored my second childhood ambition more though, which was to be a writer/journalist. Maybe that's why I like posting so much on Tumblr! 😍

Onward tagging (too many people as usual, but no pressure to play if you don't want to or can't 🥰): @hughungrybear, @relativelydimensional, @neuroticbookworm, @wen-kexing-apologist, @waitmyturtles, @airenyah, @twig-tea, @solitaryandwandering, @recentadultburnout, @lurkingshan, @grapejuicegay,@bengiyo, @urikawa-miyuki, @pickletrip, @suni-san, @kattahj, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @7nessasaryevils, @imminentinertia, @befuddledcinnamonroll, @pandasmagorica, @nihilisticcondensedmilk,@shortpplfedup, @rokklagio, @thegalwhorants, @brazilian-whalien52, @callipigio, @respectthepetty, @corettaroosa, @colourme-feral, @virtualtadpole, @aroceu, @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas, @delesaria-blog, @dribs-and-drabbles, @inventedfangirling, @jiirotu, @visualtaehyun @happypotato48,@akawrites000, @kleopatras-cat, @dc-alves, @toschistation, @lovelyghostv

I've been tagged by others in various tag games over the past few weeks but have been too busy with work to be able to play. 😭 Not gonna post half-assed replies if I can help it, but then I'm always beset by dread thinking people might assume I'm ignoring them for whatever silly reason. But I just haven't had the time until now.

If you've tagged me and I've not responded, please know that I really wanted to but I just kept getting sidetracked by urgent deadlines. (In fact, my drafts folder is full of half-written tag game responses that are too far beyond their use-by date to ever see the light of day. 😮) So to any and all who see this, please accept my apology for not replying to your tags and invites, and if you'd like to play along with this one even if I haven't tagged you directly (and you have the time for it) – please do so! I'd love to read your responses! 😍

[the-letterbox-archives]

response times in the archives - quick psa

hello, all! this is letters again, and i'd like to make a quick statement about response times around here. going forward, when i say 'response times,' i mean mostly tag games, but also chapter updates and interaction with posts i'm tagged in.

my response times are becoming slower recently due to mental ill-health and commitments outside the archives. make no mistake, i'm not going in hiatus (again) or quitting, i would just like to explain my situation.

i am beyond grateful for the support the archives has gotten, and the circles i find myself in are immensely gratifying, and i've made many great friends, who love my work and whose work i love.

when the archives began, i spent all of my time answering every tag game, responding to everything my friends tagged me in of their own work (because it's all amazing seriously you guys are so cool and talented <3) because it was easier for me then!

but in the time since the archives began, my mental health has been on the decline, through no fault of tumblr, the archives, or anything online. this is especially true as of recent; coming out of my hiatus i was overwhelmed by notifications and that feeling hasn't gone away. i won't go into the details because they're incredibly vague in my mind, i just know i was unmotivated to engage in anything socially and i was feeling pretty depressed.

this does not mean i am leaving again, that i don't want to be tagged in all the writing i'm tagged in, or that i don't want to play tag games, i love all of that and don't want it to stop. what i am saying is that i may be slower to respond than before and may miss or skip certain things due to low motivation/depression, or being flooded with notifications due to buildup. nothing will change exactly, i'll just be a little less engaged in everything all the time.

i'm working on volume 2's next chapters (leaving volume 1 for a tiny bit, but it is still in production), and organising more releases for the archives (the end of my next hiatus - date tbd, but not right now because i just came back - will see a lot of new content, that's my mission for non-crisis-related hiatuses), i'm quite busy. i don't mean to 'big-time' anyone, but i am tired and busy, that much is true.

i'm not going to alert any tag lists in an attempt to prevent clutter, and this isn't exactly what people signed up for when they agreed to being on my tag lists haha, but if this message has reached you, it was probably meant to! hope you all understand, and thank you for listening!

[riwooga]

Okay Whitney character dive, I'm just gonna use he/him pronouns for all of this except for PC ✨

I don't know how much of this makes sense but I'm going to ramble and I can already tell this is gonna get quite long

And once again small disclaimer I'm just rambling my personal speculation and thoughts and have no ways of knowing what the creators actually planned/intend for a character!

... Okay I have to add a cut I think it'll clutter the tag too much 👉👈

I actually kind of want to start out with making a comparison of Whitney vs Avery. Because I adore both, yet have actually seen some people interpret them in almost a switcharoo to what I do? Which is super interesting to me, but their character archetypes are definitely similar in several senses, and I find it fun to think about so-

From my point of view, what they have in common, in my opinion, is the "Control and status" mindset.

So when we first meet Whitney, he's obviously not introduced as a good guy, he's a bully, an utter asshole, and for a long time he is just that, he doesn't treat PC nicely until you get pretty high up in love, and still there he's still sometimes an absolute ass. (Just.. A more controlled one that will sometimes semi-respect your boundaries if you enforce them)

Whereas Avery, we meet as this charming, slightly mysterious yet chivalrous older man, helps us out, takes us out for a nice meal and in turn afterwards keeps being quite charmingly chivalrous as long-- as you act the proper way.

But the kind of funny thing it me is, with both of them, once you're in a relationship with you start to see the facade slip sometimes.

With Whitney, you start to see softer moments, it's small things that could be missed or brushed over perhaps, but you start to see moments where he shows he actually cares about the PC, and can actually be sort of sweet if you're in private with him.

Where as with Avery, you see the facade slip too-- but in the opposite way in my opinion? You start to see a colder side of him, start to see that what he cares about is appearance, and see that if you don't act the way he wanted you to, the anger comes through. (I'll definitely go more in depth of Avery if I make a post for him too)

Which again, feels like opposites, yet so similar?

And to touch back on their "control" mindset, there the thing is Whitney seems to be almost desperate for control, and will fight to have it, desperate for something he can actually have his own control over, likely stemming from a home life where he feels stuck and like he has no say in anything (Will touch more on this in just a second)

Where as Avery... Isn't desperate for control, rather he seems to simply expect it. He expects that PC will fall into line and be good, let him make the decisions that make them both look best. Especially at first of you chose the options that provoke him a bit, you can sense he almost starts to consider PC something to be tamed at that point.

Where both of them, highly value their status and other people looking upon them the way they've worked hard to obtain.

And to further explain what I meant with Whitney's home life, let's just say I think there's a reason that Whitney seems to be away from his home for as long as he can, why he prefers to loiter in alleyways and get drunk and cause trouble..

If we, once again, look at psychology, delinquent behaviors USUALLY stem from not feeling seen or heard by your parents, stem from an anger and frustration of either too strict rules or otherwise things like neglect. Same with bullying, usually also stemming from issues in the home life leaving the bully feeling weak and worthless, where bringing others down gives them a high of somewhat power. Especially to people they have a sense of envy toward.

We can also somewhat guess out from certain dialogue that Whitney's family probably isn't the wealthiest, as he describes his own room as a dump and also admits to Bailey that he indeed doesn't have near enough money to afford the PC. Plus if his parents were rich I don't think it'd make as much sense for him to be stealing, other than I guess pure provocation?

So those things combined I feel like I can definitely start to guess why Whitney might feel that lack of control in his life. I'm like... 90% sure I have seen Vrel say that the only thing feels like he has control over is his appearance? (And then the PC)

And while Whitney's relationship with the PC may start as a control thing for him, a simple way to get that itch satisfied and have some humiliation fun as well, well... He does genuinely start to care for the PC. Not that you'd get him to fully admit just how much he does.

Some of my favorite moments is when his brain almost short-wires when the PC not just reciprocates but initiates, especially outside the sexual context. Instantly blushing and trying to play it smooth but often ending up stuttering a bit. Or if you're gone too long and you can see faint tears in his eyes? Yeah good shit.

But also I absolutely have to mention how he is also so oddly soft in encounters, like often saying PC is like an angel, kissing PC'S forehead, praising... Like even in the "embarrassing" scenarios he often has this softness to him.

And to just softly go back to the whole bully psychology thing, a really interesting part of Whitney's character in my opinion is his target on Kylar, especially once he's with the PC.

Whitney in general is quite jealous / possessive, the only way he's sharing the PC is on his own volition, when he's the one controlling the scenario and who touches who. We can see he gets confrontational even in class of people just looking at the PC, or how he gets so frustrated if one of his friends try to help themselves to the PC.

So, to see the PC give someone like Kylar attention? Of course his brain will spiral.

Whitney has probably done so much to build up his position, to be popular, attractive, feared, to be in control, so to see /Kylar/, the freak, the weird little creep everyone actively avoids, who's such an easy target for bullying because of it-- /that's/ someone PC is interested in? Infuriating. A confidence hit probably. From his point of view he has so much more to offer than that pathetic little freak, doesn't he?

And that's where one of Whitney's big flaws come in, because when he feels upset, or even betrayed by the PC, he acts out. He starts to threaten, he starts to humiliate, he forces the PC into dangerous situations. A way to try and snatch that control back.

If pushed far enough, (spoiler warning here!!) we know he's even willing to sell the PC off to the underground brothel because of that loss of respect from everyone else. Because of that loss of control that he so desperately clutches onto.

But I'm gonna try and round it off a bit here--

Whitney seems to have a rather poor handle on emotions, on vulnerability. It's easier to be someone people fear and be having fun with it than it is letting someone even catch a glimpse at the vulnerable parts inside.

... Which is exactly why the moments that he has alone with the PC is something I absolutely melt over, those cracks beginning to show the softness.

So to sum up!

I find Whitney a really interesting character, as much as I roll my eyes at him and think he's a stupid ass, I really hope we in the future keep seeing him develop more and more 🤧

[llitchilitchi]

The tags you added to your answer are so interesting!! The arch and the vines do frame them very nicely, and its always wonderful to learn how much thought gets put behind a piece like that. Do you always use references when you draw/paint? If you dont mind sharing, id love to hear more abt your process :))

I don't mind sharing at all!

the truth is there is no process. stuff tends to just Happen most of the time. I tend to soak up everything I look at like a sponge and like to watch videoessays about art of any kind that break down certain aspects so I can use the pieces and put them into something new. I love art, be it live action movies or animation, stop motion or a music video, stained glass or architecture of fiber crafts, oil paintings or comic books and so on. when I go places I try to take it all in, I take notes, pictures if necessary, and then vomit it up on paper when the time comes.

it's like 'oh, I like This area in This game because of the ambience' (which resulted in the image in my header), or 'oh the colours in this movie Fuck' and I apply them when they come in handy. it's a bit of a backup library, especially if I know I will be working with that stuff soon (cough cough I may or may not have a lot of images of medieval manuscripts at hand for Reasons)

if I have a more specific idea for a vibe I wanna go for, though, I like looking through reference. I'll be posting a piece (Soon) of my OC and the composition and the overall clutter of it was inspired by the work of Satoshi Kon. my pride art was inspired by local 19th/20th century illustrations of folk motifs. when I worked on my pin-up zine piece, I looked through a lot of antique pinup photography, but I also wanted to tilt the overall vibe to the work of the artist Sakizou so I went through her artbooks. when I still worked on Monarchy Restoration I liked to visit places that fit it time-wise (aka late medieval castles or romantic castles that reimagine the medieval) along with watching old Czech fairytale movies, which were the key inspiration behind the aesthetic of the AU.

honestly I'm a little paranoid at times that if I look up reference of particular styles or techniques, it will show too much in my work and people will call me a fraud lmao. I don't really know why, since a lot of people very openly reference the works of famous artists and it isn't a problem (nor do I mind it when they do it), but a small part of me gets kinda mad when, idk, the houses in the background look too much like those in Cabinet of Doctor Caligari, or something. obviously that doesn't really apply to needing precise anatomy/clothing reference but I tend to put away any reference images the moment I start working on the final product so I'm not replicating someone else's work.

[vocaloidfactoftheday]

hello! so hypothetically if someone made a vocaloid art challenge prompt list (like a list of vocaloid songs to use as daily prompts) would it be alright to tag you for it to gain traction? for both the list and a submission form?

(when I say hypothetical I mean there is no list but me and a friend are discussing making one and the logistics lol)

short answer: no, sorry! please don't take any offense, i wish you good luck with your challenge! if you like, you can tag my main blog and i could reblog it there, though i honestly don't think it'd be very helpful either way.

long answer:

i want to avoid using this blog to promote things. which i know sounds hypocritical because i do use it to promote my own things sometimes, but this is just limited to 1. my vocaloid music (which i try to promote very sparingly to avoid spam) and 2. livestreams about vocaloid that i think this blog's followers would be interested in (which i've only done 2 of so far and i don't even remember if i promoted the second one lol...they were respectively "discussing every vocaloid voicebank" and "drawing vocaloids from memory"). once enough time has passed sometimes i'll delete my promos just to clean up the blog

there's a couple reasons for this:

i want to avoid too much irrelevant (i.e. not related to vocaloid facts) content on this blog. this is partially to avoid spam/clutter, which would be intrusive if someone just wants to scroll through to look at facts, but also because this will lessen the chances of the random button (which isn't visible on mobile, but it's on the blog's desktop theme) selecting an irrelevant post when its purpose is to show random facts.

i don't think there's that much of a point to it. promoting my own stuff (particularly the music) does get me a little attention on my youtube channel sometimes, but it realistically makes very little difference. i'm not sure anyone has actually found my music through this blog. this blog has over 1k followers and my youtube channel has under 500, and my subscriber count tends to stay stagnant for long periods of time. i can't imagine it would make much of a difference if i promoted your art challenge - the posts themselves might get more reblogs, but the actual amount of participants probably wouldn't increase very substantially.

i personally find it a bit awkward to promote stuff from people i don't know on this blog. or even from people i DO know, honestly. it just doesn't really fit on this blog. i'd be more okay with doing it from my main, but even then i don't typically promote things i don't pay attention to (like music i don't listen to, commissions from artists i don't follow) or participate in (though a vocaloid art challenge might be different - i don't think i'd participate because i'm a slow artist, but it'd at least be interesting to see the art that results from it)

this kinda loops back around to the "minimizing clutter/irrelevant posts" point - but this is a vocaloid trivia/fun facts blog. this is not a general vocaloid blog, i don't use this to share/post just anything vocaloid related (i do plenty of that on main). if i use up all the vocaloid facts, maybe this will change, but i currently have no desire to stray from this blog's purpose.

sorry for the long response! i hope this doesn't come off as a rant or anything, the main reason i'm posting this publicly is in case other people have similar questions/requests in the future. i appreciate you asking!

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

So how are you gonna start the next arc like this?

//I knew I was going to get upset about it when the change was implemented, and as you can see by my toxic af messages previously, I was right.

//I've taken some time to think about it since then, and I need to just make a couple of statements.

//The ask box will remain open, but this will probably be the last you hear of me for a while until the day I announced I would start posting the next chapter of the story.

//As for what's going on, in the face of this new editor with it's 30 image limit completely fucking over my typical style and sequence of posts (for asks it's not a big deal, but for story posts and especially long answers, it's a problem to my entire setup, and as you can imagine, I am not ok with that) I have taken some time to come up with a plan going forward.

//First and foremost, I'm not going to stop writing just because the designers of this website lost 90 braincells as well as the nerves in their eyes and ears. As stupid as these changes are, I'm fully aware that there's nothing I can do about them, and I'm not going to stop this blog's progression, or stop answering asks just because of these difficulties.

//In the past, when these changes happened, I overreacted and complained like a child. I apologize for those instances, and I've worked towards bettering myself. That doesn't mean I can't still take issues with these changes, because they are stupid, but don't let my misdirections as a human being affect your enjoyment of my writing. I will keep this blog going.

//Right now, I have come to a few solutions. Initially, I said I would move the story posts at least, to a different website. However, I retract that statement, because doing so would require my readers to sign up and create new accounts on totally different websites that they might not use for anything else.

//The CURRENT plan is that there are a variety of mods available on the internet that allows you to use the old Tumblr editor. If I can find one that bypasses the limit, I'll be golden.

//Failing that, as much as it sucks to think about, my only remaining option is to suck it up and use the new editor. As for the image limit, it may result in me having to split the story up into multiple different posts a day to get the full chapter done.

//The reason why I wished to avoid it is because with Tumblr's horrible navigation system, made WORSE by the current changes, is that it'll be hard to order all the posts together. I could repost my own posts to continue, but that also clutters the blog with meaningless posts, so I'm hoping to avoid it. Plus, it's only a matter of time before reblogs get hit with the "SHIT CHANGE" laser, so it's not a long-lasting solution.

//To make it a bit easier, if I do resort to this, I will be posting the link to the next part of each chapter in links at the bottom of each post. I will also be adding a #story tag on these posts to make them easier to find. I should have incorporated this a long time ago, but my slow dumb ass didn't think it was necessary.

//With all that said, if anyone has links to any useful mods, or any alternative solutions I could use, I am more than open to suggestions. So if you could leave those in either DM's or in the ask box, I would appreciate it. Assuming they work, you would LITERALLY be saving my life.

//And potentially the lives of other blogs like this one who are suffering because of this bullshit. I'll definitely be sure to share your advice to whoever may need it, like Aliza or Bubbles.

//Ultimately, there's no great solution to this, but this is the unfortunate position that Tumblr has put us in. And as much as I hate it, all I can do is take my licks and keep going.

//I want to take this moment to thank you guys for being such a supportive and kind audience. People like you are a dime a dozen, and I hope to continue to get your support for the foreseeable future.

//This story isn't finished yet.

-Mod

[ellarian-the-bard]

hi and hello there! you have, by some weird twist of fate, found my blog, and i welcome you.

my name is matt, and i am still very much new to tumblr, having used it for a collective hour back in 2018, where upon i decided that i found the site confusing and gave up. this is still very much just a test run of how i like tumblr, maybe i'll leave in 2 weeks, who knows? Buuut in the mean time, i want to give it a real try.

what i plan on doing with this blog: eh, honestly i don't know yet. ideally, 'a bit of everything', but that's not helpful for you reading this. one plan i have is using this blog and the help of you at home (yes, you!) to expand the worldbuilding of my personal ttrpg fantasy setting, but i might make a sideblog for that because that could be very cluttered on my main. then again, that's what tags are for, aren't they?

well, that's about it for now. i might make a few more posts soon about myself, plans i might have for this blog, or in general in what i'm interested in so that you can follow/unfollow if you like/dislike that.

thank you for listening, and welcome to the idiot corner!

[senkusphone]

Replies to various tag comments

so I can reply but also not clutter everything with many posts, thanks for bearing with me.

@megacarapa No, thank you! That gif took so long to make, and I rarely get to use it lol. I had to undo a panning shot, and erase Senku in order to loop it. Check out this weird left over file from the process, you can see a bit of Senku under where I patched him off, and the subtitles moving as the image panned

@piuopon

Multimeter:

You don't understand, that's the multimeter I used for most of the last decade, even at the labs in university. I bought it from some guy on the street (I swear this is normal) cause it was very cheap, and it needed repairs which I did.

I gotta admit I love me an old instrument though. I think it's from the early 1970's as it's made with point to point connection (no circuit board) but it doesn't have the old Sanwa logo. Fun fact, to this day they still sell knockoffs of these old japanese Sanwa multimeters, under brands such as Sunma, Sunwa, etc (and they're still not cheaper than I paid for the og). My first multimeter when I was a kid was a knockoff 'Munwha' I believe, wish I still had it regardless.

If you want me to flex a real antique one, check out the Weston Selective Analyzer 665. This multimeter is from the 1930's. (also makes me wonder if there was a Weston Selective Analyzer 666)

The 'high grid test' and 'low grid test', the series capacitor condenser for the AC voltage scales, and the 'press to read' button are features that have long disappeared from multimeters as far as I can tell.

Senku:

It's hard for me to describe how much this series helped me pull through a comically dark time in my life. Senku is a very inspiring character, despite how much I like to dunk on him. When I needed a bit of inspiration the most, I was inspired to shamelessly and unapologetically pursue my interests in science and engineering that I had been growing increasingly disenchanted with after too many years in academic hell. Despite the fact that I am literally building a career on these interests, I have always been shamed for pursuing them in a non professional or academic way.

The dude said "get excited", and I did.

So, the fact that you perceive me that way, is really flattering to me, and I truly appreciate it, thank you.

🅱️enis:

I'll have you remember that the og KoS flag featured only one phallic shape and was designed by Yuzu, go figure what she was thinking of.

Someone must've decided it wasn't gay enough by the time Ryusui came around, and thus added a second one in conjuction (a design which Ryusui was the first to wear).

No idea who did it though, but I am putting suspicion on the artists (yuzu and namari) and Gen, because he likes to mess with people, of course. Wonder what the Ishigami villagers thought of this pattern, as they were exposed to this design long before they had any knowledge or remotely accurate concept of a rocket or spaceship...

... but they certainly knew other things.

Moving on

@aresagainstthemachine Hello again

Yes, as you say the frequencies are kinda fixed. Both the transmit and receive frequency depend in part to the capacitance of the antenna to the surrounding environment, there was even one occasion where hand capacitance to the large coil made this behave sorta like a theremin. (video there, but I no longer use this twitter).

Receive mode is a bit more complicated as adjusting the feedback/tickler coil to bring up the gain also shifts the frequency somewhat. Tuning regenerative radios is always a process of getting closer and closer adjusting the tuning capacitor of the front end and the coupling of the feedback. Now aparently I had some sort of mental void between then and now, 'cause the other day I was cleaning some boxes and I found this object

Then I remembered that back in the day I meant to discretely install this small variable capacitor to have at least a small amount of tuning control on the receiving coil. I guess I ended up not doing it when I saw it happened to fall near an existing station and adding this would have thrown that off. Feel free to message me if you got any more electronics questions, that'd be easier and I'd be happy to chat. Also thanks everyone for the reblogs and nice comments :)

[stgroversfire]

LOOOONG fnaf sb ruin post here. lots of criticism and thoughts no one cares about, and of course spoilers.

take it all with a grain of salt, because while i know a lot about the story, i'm a 23 year old that got into the franchise 8 years ago and i havent actively kept up with the lore since fnaf 6.

and because in researching more for this post i found out there's key lore points in the fucking books and i'm not reading a glorified manual to understand the story of a game i paid 40 bucks for.

i want to be kinder to fnaf sb ruin, but i still feel disappointed.

from a gameplay standpoint, it was, of course, a VASTLY improved game. this is a tumblr post not a review, so i'll keep it short, but by god did the dlc actually have intention and vision that the original lacked, with a lot less bugs (more than i find acceptable, but the bar was low here so i'm taking the W). the core gameplay mechanics actually felt like they belonged in the game and made the experience better, and this free dlc went a long way to making sb's $40 price tag closer to worth it.

the atmosphere was stunning to me- much creepier and like it actually belonged in a horror game. the free roam aspect being less painfully redundant and more linear was a great improvement for player experience. the AR mechanic was maybe a touch cluttered, but i still loved it and was glad to see creative ideas implemented without obvious scope creep.

story wise... well, i'm quite sure i must be missing something. after sb i had so many questions, and i think like one of them is answered. there's something to be said about fnaf sticking to its guns and keeping a lot of lore up to speculation, but i haven't fully grasped what the fuck is happening since pizzeria sim.

it's probably a bit soon after release to be shitting on the story but uh. i still don't know who tf gregory is or his relevancy to the plot. i don't know who cassie is or her relevancy to the plot. i liked her character but it felt like a skeleton of a story. every relationship felt too threadbare to justify character actions (although retrospectively there is something to be said about the actions of children being impulsive). and while it's not inherently bad, i personally don't love every piece of her backstory being some one off line that is never explored (i.e. paraphrasing "this faz wrench is like my dads!" and "maybe your friends will come next time").

i was fascinated by the mimic as an antagonist, and relieved to see anyone but springtrap, but having to google who he was and why he randomly changed forms in the scooper ending (??? did i miss something?) to understand the dlc kind of killed a lot of excitement for me. really great design though, and even if it was a bit obvious i enjoyed the whole mimicking gregory thing.

as for the endings: i'm a bit confused as to why gregory would frantically try to save cassie, only to attempt to kill her off. i'm also not sure why he knows about the mimic in the first place. i have my own theories, sure, but speculation doesn't mean much when the concrete scenes we got gave us nothing. i really wanted more information on gregory and frustratingly ended with more goddamned questions. the scooper ending was cool, even if it confused the shit outta me. fredbear ending was uh. actually very creepy to me and probably my favorite of the bunch. the dichotomy of the cheery music and graphics vs cassie's terrified breathing was creepy af and i wish that wasn't just the joke ending.

i'm losing steam here so i'll try to wrap up. all in all, i went into ruin mostly blind and was really hoping for any kind of wrap up on who gregory is (adding here that im now aware that's in the books, but i really really hate the idea of supplemental paid reading for a paid video game), and while i don't hate cassie, i was a little disappointed to see any expansion on the original story. the gameplay was such a different and improved experience i can't believe it came from the same studio.

and despite me absolutely ripping into this thing, i'm really excited to see more from steel wool and scott. help wanted 2 should be a much less disjointed experience, with some really cool tie ins to vanny (if i understand the lore at all)

EDIT: I FORGOT ABOUT THE VANNI SYSTEM. the bunny enemy was very fucking well designed, made complete sense with the story while also preventing the player from staying in AR too long, and fixed a lot of what made the original animatronic AIs feel extremely janky. that creepy bunny guy takes the game from like. a 5/10 to a 7/10.

if you made it this far i'm sorry you read all that and i hope your day is as wonderful as you are, much love.

[anch0ram]

Hiiii for what it's worth I'd love to see more of your art, even/esp ocs and non fandom! I know it's tough to feel undervalued for ur art though, wanting validation is matter of course, and the whole 'you have to separate the value of your work from the attention it garners' thing doesn't work for everyone. I hope you do end up figuring out a balance for posting what you feel comfortable with. If I may be so bold as to offer a word of advice- try to consider yourself at least half of the audience you're trying to reach, give yourself the praise and attention for what you make, and it might help you to be more confident when it comes to what you post and to who, and to find a steadier group of followers. We're all just along for the ride! You're the one doing the magic. Scroll through your files and admire your art. zoom in on the details that you're proud of. Sincerely, another creator who can't show their work to a lot of their friends (in the closet) and has had to learn to not take themself too seriously for it

First of all, thank you for the encouraging words anon! I really really appreciate you taking time out of your day to write this. I also hope that one day you may be able to show your work to all of your friends, should you wish to do so <3

This got long so I'll put more ramblings under the cut.

Your advise is pretty sound, especially the part about making sure that you're your own target audience. It's something I've had to work on teaching myself because in the past I would be discouraged from drawing when I didn't get any response from my art.

I think my issue now is that my feelings about validation are in bit of a schrödingers situation. If I don't post my art anywhere I'm usually able to gather more than enough satisfaction from myself alone because since I never post it anywhere I can tell myself that people would have liked it if I had posted it. But the second I post I have to face the reality that not everyone is interested, which can be a harder pill to swallow when you know that your past fanart has been more popular.  That, and I feel intimidated by the fact that I know how people follow me for one thing, which might not be what I’m posting that moment and I can’t get over the idea of cluttering their dashboard (silly I know, when blacklisting tags and unfollowing exists).

A little while ago someone tagged a drawing I did with the fact that they missed the artist (me) which made me feel a little weird because it wasn't like I had gone anywhere.

On the other hand people here have usually been incredibly nice to me when I've posted in the past (I see you and I thank you <3) and it's been incredibly encouraging, even if this support somewhat hinging on the fact that I've been posting stuff from a fandom they like. I recognise that that’s just how it is and I think it’s a totally fair way to enjoy something.

I'm going to try to post more of what I want when I feel like it because ultimately even if I'm 50% of my audience, maybe the single other person out there who'd make up the remaining 50% would have their day brightened by seeing my take on something they're interested in. 

[thirty-pieces-project]

INTRO: Who Are You and What Is This?

THE THIRTY PIECES PROJECT is a mass culmination of hyper-focus and sleepless nights ⎯ a glorification of the several hundred untitled documents, notes, and remarkably one-sided ChatGPT arguments that now clutter my iCloud storage. It is an in-depth analysis and interpretation of Jesus Christ Superstar by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice. Though, I'll specifically be focusing on the 2012 Arena Tour, directed by Laurence Connor.

Time for introductions. Most of you probably know me by my personal tag: @thespicyscot. Any variation on that is completely fine. I have no preference. And any other nicknames you decide to call me also have the seal of approval ⎯ as long as they’ve nothing to do with Soup, or its derivatives. Please. I'm begging you. (Though, I'd love to hear your guesses on how that one came about.)

I first discovered Jesus Christ Superstar a little over a month ago. Given my long-standing love affair with musical theatre, I'm genuinely surprised that it's taken me this long. I have to admit: I was sceptical at first. Didn't really know what to think, or expect. And honestly, given my somewhat... avant-garde beliefs (which I'll talk more about below), I never thought a rock opera based on the Passion of Christ would resonate so deeply and personally.

But that was before I realised that it's about so much more than politics and religion ⎯ it is a deep and vivid portrayal of complex human emotions; an absolute tour de force of lyrics and musical composition. And as someone who's always had a passion for music, theatre, writing, philosophy, and psychology, it's fairly obvious how this production caught my attention. Every element, from the vocal and instrumental performances; the set design, lighting, and costumes ⎯ the only word that even comes close to describing it is electric. In fact, I'm almost certain a tiny steel guitarist has taken up residence in the back of my brain. Not to worry: he's living his best life, rent-free.

But all jokes aside, I want to address that this project is going to involve quite a bit of scrutiny on religion (including excerpts from the Bible, in order to provide a solid basis for certain theories, and understand the narrative). I thought it might be helpful if I share my own beliefs, so you can better understand my perspective:

I most closely identify with agnostics, as I personally believe in the existence of a higher being (a "Creator," if you will), but choose not to assign it/them a specific name, gender, or narrative. I don't tie myself to any one religion ⎯ especially because there's something to be learned from them all. I also believe that, like all things in this world, they all have the equal possibility of being right or wrong until proven otherwise. Really, we have no definitive way of knowing, and in my opinion, the general concept of religion is arrogant, ignorant, and presumptuous. But so are all of us as human beings, and I have no right, nor desire to judge anyone for their beliefs. That said, respect is a two-way street, and I only ask that while you’re here, you think of them that way: your truth and your beliefs. The purpose of this project isn't to start an argument, or convince anyone of anything. It is an interpretation, a respectful discussion, and above all things, a celebration of one of the most beautiful and prolific works of all time. This is theatre everybody, so let’s keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay!

I'd also like to give you an idea what I'll be covering. I'll be breaking each of these 30 categories/topics into smaller subcategories, with one or more posts on each. This is not an exhaustive list, and definitely not final, but here's a fairly accurate first glance:

PART 1: CHARACTER INTRODUCTION / OVERVIEW ⎯ Character Profiles, Summary (Role In / Influence on Plot, Development, Personal Conflicts, Resolution), Archetype(s), First Impression & Impact

PART 2: SCRIPT STRUCTURE & NARRATIVE ⎯ Plot Overview, Subplots & Significance, Key Climactic Moments, Key Themes, Narrative Devices (ex. flashbacks, foreshadowing, irony), Pacing & Rhythm, Dramatic Tension/Resolution, Role and Use of Illusion

PART 3: LYRICAL ANALYSIS & LINE DELIVERY ⎯ Analysis of Meaning, Impact of Vocal Technique(s), Delivery Variations, Lyrical Variations, Mirrored Lyrics, Impact on Plot / Emotion, Symbolism, Parallels to the Apology of Socrates

+ THE MISSING SCENE: (“Losing My Mind / The Apology”)

PART 4: MUSICAL COMPOSITION, ARRANGEMENT, & PERFORMANCE ⎯ Instrumentation & Impact, Musical Themes, Leitmotifs, Musical Foreshadowing (ex. “Bad Moon Rising”), Musical Style & Influences (ex. Creedence Clearwater Revival), Use of a Live Band, Creating Audible Anxiety

PART 5: SCENE-BY-SCENE ANALYSIS ⎯ Breakdown & Analysis, Character Interactions, Symbolic Action(s) / Dialogue, Scene Transitions & Impact, Character Development Within Scene(s) *

*(NOTE: You can find the numbered scene/set list here: SCENE/SET LIST)

PART 6: CHARACTER ARCS & DEVELOPMENT ⎯ Principal Roles & Significance, Supporting Characters & Function(s), Overall Development & Journey, Transformation & Growth, Mistakes Made / Lessons Learned (or not), Internal vs. External Conflict, Motivation(s), Consequences of Key Decisions, Legacy (or lack of)

PART 7: ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS & SUBTEXT ⎯ Romantic Subtext, Relationship / Power Dynamics, Symbolic Relationships, References / Similarities (to other romantic relationships in theatre ⎯ implied or otherwise), Impact of the Unspoken

PART 8: NON-ROMANTIC INTERPERSONAL DYNAMICS ⎯ Relationship Dynamics, Key Power Dynamics / Shifts, Personal Conflict(s) & Resolution, Key Dialogue & Interactions

Focuses on non-romantic, one-on-one relationships (ex. Jesus / Pilate)

PART 9: ENSEMBLE / GROUP ⎯ Crowd Dynamics, Importance of Background Characters, Chorus Roles & Significance, Ensemble Roles (Dynamics & Significance), Interaction With Leads, Symbolic Representation (of broader themes/societal groups), Role of Social/Political Beliefs (Anarchy, Socialism, Communism, Marxism, etc.), Representation & Diversity

PART 10: ACTING TECHNIQUES & CHARACTER PORTRAYAL ⎯ Method Acting, Preparation For Role, Physicality, Vocal Techniques, Improvisation, Emotional Range, Comparative Acting / Consistency Across Performances & Productions

PART 11: OVERALL PSYCHOLOGICAL ANALYSIS ⎯ Plot-Driven Psychological Themes, Narrative Tension, Emotional Climax, Use In Conflict & Resolution, Freudian Interpretations, Jungian Archetypes, MBTI (16 Personalities), Moral / Ethical Conflicts, Role of Corruption

PART 12: FUNCTIONAL PSYCHOLOGY ⎯ Motivations, Evolution, Identity & Self-Perception, Analysis & Impact on Interpersonal Dynamics, Moral / Ethical Dilemmas, Functional Psychology (Individuals / Groups)

PART 13: ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY ⎯ Role of Mental Illness, Diagnoses, Behavioural Analysis (Defence Mechanisms, Trauma & Triggers), Influence on Identity & Self-Perception, Impact on Relationships & Plot, Abnormal Group Psychology, Confirmation Bias, Crisis Point & Intervention

INCLUDES: Breakdowns, explanations, and diagnostic criteria for: specific disorder(s), symptoms, and delusions (grandiose, theomanic, messianic)

(NOTE: Profiles for characters with functional psychology will be under Part 11. Profiles for characters with abnormal/dysfunctional psychology will be under Part 12.)

PART 14: HISTORICAL CONTEXT / BIBLICAL REFERENCES (REFs) & IMPLICATIONS ⎯ Overview of Biblical Plot, A Bold Departure From the Source Material (Or Is It?), Biblical Allegories, Biblical Implications (ie., the Second Coming)

PART 15: THEMATIC ANALYSIS ⎯ Love vs. Betrayal, Faith vs. Doubt, Power and Corruption, Identity and Self-Discovery, Control vs. Chaos, Redemption and Forgiveness, Selflessness and Sacrifice

PART 16: CHOREOGRAPHY & BLOCKING ⎯ Gestures / Symbolism Through Movement, Group Choreography, Stage Blocking, Individual Movements, Use of Space / Proximity (reflection on relationships / power dynamics), Rhythmic Patterns / Variation

PART 17: SET DESIGN & STAGING ⎯ Minimalist vs. Elaborate Designs, Symbolic Elements (ie., the Stage Light Cross), Scene Transitions, Use of Space, Interactive Elements, Perspective & Scale

PART 18: COSTUMES/HAIR/MAKEUP ⎯ Historical Accuracy vs. Artistic Licence, Colour Symbolism, Character-Specific Costume/Hair/Makeup Choices, Evolution Through Narrative (or lack of it), Cultural Significance (ex. use of keffiyeh), Symbolic Accessories, Symbolism / Storytelling Through Hair & Makeup

PART 19: PROPS ⎯ Thirty Pieces of Silver, The Crown of Thorns, Symbolic Props, Character-Defining Props, Use of Props in Storytelling, Historical Accuracy vs. Artistic Licence, Interactive vs. Non-Interactive

PART 20: LIGHTING / ATMOSPHERE CREATION ⎯ Colour Palettes, Spotlighting, Setting the Mood, Symbolic Lighting, Dynamic Changes, Chiaroscuro, Natural vs. Artificial, Layered Lighting, Interactive vs. Non-Interactive

PART 21: SOUND DESIGN ⎯ Amplification, Sound Effects, Acoustics, Instrumental / Vocal Balance, Ambience, Sound Symbolism, Spatial Audio, Analogue vs. Digital, Use of Silence

PART 22: THEATRICAL ADAPTATION / DIRECTORIAL VARIATIONS ⎯ Various Directorial Approaches, Key Directorial Choices, Affect of Vision on Text, Controversy, Evolution of Direction, Stage and Film Adaptations, Notable Productions and Elements, Cultural Adaptations, Revival Productions and Changes

PART 23: PRODUCTION-SPECIFIC ADAPTATION (BIBLICAL TO MODERN ANACHRONISTIC) ⎯ Added Scenes and Characters, Omitted Events, Reinterpretation of Motivations, Modernisation (Language and Themes), Character Depth & Complexity, Change to Narrative Structure, Modern Contextualisation & Parallels, Dialogue & Language Modernisation

PART 24: CRITICAL RECEPTION & CONTROVERSY ⎯ Initial Reactions, Response From Religious Communities, Evolving Critical Opinion, Reception and Response Over Time (Worldviews), Ongoing Debates/Discussions/Theories

PART 25: AUDIENCE IMPACT & EMOTIONAL JOURNEY ⎯ Intended Emotional Resonance, Audience Interaction / Reactions, Inducing Memory & Nostalgia, Catharsis and Resolution, Long-Term Impact, Use of a Rock 'n' Roll Arena (Effect on Audience Engagement & Perception)

PART 26: COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS ⎯ Other Works by Andrew Lloyd Webber and/or Tim Rice, Other Productions by Laurence Connor, Parallels to Romeo and Juliet, Productions Dealing With Similar Themes/Contexts/Circumstances (ex. Godspell, Dear Evan Hansen, Hamilton, Be More Chill), Conformity vs. Diversion (Pleasing vs. Point-Making)

PART 27: IMPACT, INFLUENCE, & LEGACY ⎯ Development in Rock Opera, Influence on Future Musicals, Cultural & Societal Impact, Secular Approach to Religious Themes, Impact on the Community (Fandom), Ongoing Relevance

PART 28: THEORY BREAKDOWN / FINAL EVIDENCE & INTERPRETATION ⎯ Presentation of Theories, Supporting Evidence, Counter-Arguments, Connections to Historical and Psychological Contexts, Plot Connections, Implications of This Interpretation

PART 29: FINAL REVISIONS ⎯ Revising Character Profiles and Plot Summary From Parts 1 and 2

PART 30: CONCLUSION

The Road to Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

Role of Mental Illness & Perceived Betrayal

Tragic Reality

Tragic Irony

Are You Certain What You Wish Is What You Want?

The Cruelty of God

Death Doesn't Discriminate (Between the Sinners and the Saints)

People Make Mistakes

No One Is Alone

They're Moving Forward / They Didn't Fall In Love

Nothing Lasts Forever / Another Adventure Begins

As you can see, this project is going to be a massive endeavour, and a LOT to read. I'm all for skimming through, and stopping by this mad little corner of the world for one or two posts. I'll be sure that everything is properly linked and organised, so you can easily find what you're looking for without having to sift through the absolute heaps of information that'll eventually be posted to this blog.

So, here we are, at the end.

But before the adventure truly begins, I encourage you to look at this project as more than just breakdowns and analysis. Jesus Christ Superstar is a story in a thousand layers ⎯ one that transcends petty arguments and betrayal; social and ideological conflicts, to reveal that which defies, and is incapable of being putting into words.

It's a story about mistakes, and the people who made them; about hurt, and hope, and above all things, love. It is happiness, and, in turn, heartbreak. It inevitably ends in tragedy, no matter how you tell it. But it's also a stark reminder that for every great sorrow in this world, there was first something beautiful. Some will see endless hope, where others find a hopeless end.

The question is: what do you see?

[thegoddesswater]

Author Questionnaire Tag Game

Tagged by @tc-doherty - Thanks, Lano!

About Me

When did you start writing?

Forever ago, it feels like some days. The first time I was told I had a talent for telling a story was probably second grade, but I also definitely ruined one of my mom's recipe books by scribbling all over it "writing" a story that I was simultaneously telling to my brother when I was just a small kiddo. I don't think the scribbling really counts though.

Are there genres/themes you enjoy reading different to the ones you write?

Eh, sometimes, I guess. I've started reading more contemporary stuff in recent years, and it's not likely that I'll ever actually try to write that, but contemporary fiction is also absolutely not my favourite genre to read. Also, even though there are often a lot of romantic elements in what I write, I find that I'm super choosy when it comes to whether I like romance in books I'm reading.

For the most part, I'd say that the things I write and the things I read are at least similar, even if they're not exactly the same.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

If I've ever had anyone compare my writing to an established author, I've genuinely forgotten who the comparison was to.

I don't really set out to emulate anyone in particular. I've got my own quirks and writing flair, and I'm pretty okay with that. I can swap styles when I need to, but I also like being able to feel like I've got my own voice.

There was a time when my friends tried to start a writers' circle and I was the only woman there. We started off with free writes and shared them, and I remember distinctly that one of the others there was like "Even if you hadn't read that out, I'd still know that it was written by you, I'd absolutely say 'Kelsey totally wrote that' because it sounds feminine." I could not decide what to do with that feedback. I still don't, actually.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space?

UH. It's...cluttered. I keep my personal laptop on my dining room table, a surface which has the unfortunate honour of being horizontal, and, therefore, a place where items tend to congregate when I set them down for "just a second". And there are so many sticky notes. Because I will scribble down thoughts on a post-it when I'm at work and then stick it near my laptop so I can use it later.

I also keep a notebook in my bedside table and will jot things down into that if I'm writing right before bed. That's a very casual writing space and not my favourite. Partly because the pen I use for it is simultaneously running out of ink and also drippy if I think too much before writing with it.

Honestly, my writing space can actually be anywhere though, because I have cloud-based novel software on my phone, so sometimes my writing space is public transit.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Dunno! If I want to write, I can usually write, but sometimes I'm just super not in the mood for it, and I have enough other things that I like to do that I don't try to force myself if it's not working.

Though if I need to write for a challenge (think NaNoWriMo), then I start off by just stream-of-consciousness dumping my brain out on the page for a while. It works like having one of those "conversations" with a friend where you go "I'm trying to figure out this bit in my story" and tell them everything and don't actually let them talk and then you figure out the issue and go "Great. Thanks. You're a big help." And then I find that I'm interested in writing out the solution and it's all terribly exciting.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Probably? Like I'm sure there are things in my writing that are there because of where I've lived, but I don't think there's anything I could consciously identify.

And especially where I don't write in the real world, it's harder to identify. Though that being said, there is something about one of my settings that feels extremely American to me. I've only been to the United States a couple times, so I can't actually accurately judge why that is.

Are there any recurring themes of your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Honestly, I feel like I'm writing at my best (at least for first drafts) if I don't think about themes and just let the story happen. If I think too hard about something, it starts to get forced and stilted.

Grief shows up a lot -- a lot more than I would have expected way back when I started writing seriously, and I think I know why. It's not usually the focus of a story, but it's usually there, like a particular shade to tie a colour palette together. There's also lot of found-family type dynamics and just really broken characters sometimes. Neither of which exactly surprise me.

I also leave little things to amuse myself, that maybe someone will pick up on, but it's mostly dumb stuff like hiding a "James" somewhere like I'm early Pixar working with John Ratzenberger, or having a character say a clearance code that is a nod to another character that inspired part of his creation.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favourite character?

I can't believe you're going to make me choose! My characters are the closest I'll ever have to my own children, I can't just choose a favouri-- It's Adair. My little sourpuss of a cyborg. He would be so mad to know that I've called him that -- mostly about the cyborg bit. Adair is contradictory, he craves affection and companionship, yet keeps people at arms length; he willingly signed away his autonomy and yearns for freedom; he's stuck in the structure of the military, but excels most when he does his own thing outside of the rules. He will do anything for the people he loves, but he can be an utter bastard to anyone outside that subset of...what, five?? people. He'll usually do the right thing, if begrudgingly and he's something of a reluctant hero, but he's really fun for me to write.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

I think a lot of the characters from Talentless/Wild Card would be people I would potentially get along with. I don't know if we would be friends exactly, but it would be possible to be friendly with them, with a couple of exceptions.

Not so much with Project 404's cast or Miadhachain Legacy's. Jance from ML and Cal from 404 would probably fall into the amiable-aquaintance-y category, though.

Which of your characters would you dislike most if you met them?

Probably General Vancil (Talentless/Wild Card), Voltain (Talentless/Wild Card), Chancellor Bardrick (ML), and most of anyone in the actual Miadhachain family (ML - duh). I honestly have no doubt that I'd probably get rubbed the wrong way by tons of other characters, but those are the ones that would be immediate dislike.

Tell me more about the process of coming up with your characters.

I guess my usually process goes "I need someone to fit this role" and then I start building from there. I'll use Cyri as an example.

Ages ago, I created a child character who was going to be following the main character around and causing shenanigans. I didn't want him to be an orphan, so I went "He needs parents. I don't want to worry about two parents. He needs parent. He can have a mom." I slapped the name Cyri on The Mom(TM) and called it day. At the time, I just dropped her into the story with no introduction when it was an appropriate moment for The Mom(TM) to arrive. Revisiting that story, I decided it would be better to introduce her earlier, so it wouldn't be weird when she showed up. And, suddenly that early intro scene leads to me starting to interrogate her a little bit: How did she wind up here? Why does her life look like it does in this moment? And thousands of words of playing around with her later, she went from being just The Mom (TM) to Cyri - a woman struggling to balance her protective nature with the fact that she knows that her son needs to go on these (somewhat ill-advised) adventures with the main character, because he needs to experience the world, and she can't give him that.

Other times, I come up with a name that I really like and go "Damn. If only you had a personality to go along with this" and then I'll start trying things on the name to see what fits. I have Aerun who is currently suffering from "Neat name, nothing else" which is a shame, because he feels like he's gonna be fun when he starts telling me about himself.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Lots of my characters are searching for "home", I think. Which is super not intentional. Also, I have a really weird set of occupations that I tend to give characters: Military roles, health care workers, assassins, tradespeople/artisans, and politicians. There are some stand alone occupations too, like the rock star and the figure skater, but otherwise there are a lot of characters falling into the above occupations.

And sometimes I wind up with characters from different stories who look similar if you write about them like a checklist of traits, but they present differently from each other in text.

How do you picture your characters?

Depends! Some of them I've got super solid ideas of what they look like and others...Not so much. I usually have a general idea of what characters look like with like...general height, body type, skin tone, eye colour, hair etc. But occasionally I'll watch a movie, see a picture, meet a person and I will know in my soul that I will have stumbled upon the most accurate portrayal of one of my characters. I'll mentally go "Oh my god! That's them. That is exactly what [character] looks like" and it's very fun when that happens.

It also happens sometimes with voices, for example, Hogarth from The Iron Giant is the most perfect match for the way Cyri's kid sounds.

I'll often make some kind of visual representation of the character, whether that's with a picrew or on the Sims or SOMETHING, but usually that representation is just close to what they look like.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

Because I have stories to tell?? Because I like to amuse myself? Because it makes me feel like I'm home?

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

I just love any comments! I'm never going to complain about the ones that I do get. Keyboard smashes make me giggle. People saying that they like what I put out is always fun. I do love when people share their thoughts with me though, because those are the ones that I come back to again and again when I need a boost; I love knowing that people are engaged with my writing, y'know?

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work?

I genuinely don't understand the question. Like... Do I want them to think I'm good at writing? Sure. Would I like them to have the idea that I am not a terrible person? Also sure. Are we talking when I post things online? I'd like people to think I'm kinda approachable at least so there could be some kind of interaction perhaps?

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Probably my ability to create characters. My world building is sometimes iffy and my sentences can be utilitarian, but my characters? Love them, and I think they're one of the best things I do. They feel like people and old friends.

What have you been frequently told by others is your greatest strength as a writer?

Again, probably characters. I once wrote some OC-heavy fanfic and folks would literally tell me how much they loved the OCs. Which, particularly in the world of fanfic, I feel like says a lot.

When my sentences aren't just utilitarian, I can come up with some very poetic turns of phrase, which people also point out as a strength, but I've gotta say that mostly it's my characters.

How do you feel about your own writing?

When I am in the midst of writing it? Sometimes my feelings are definitely "I am terrible at this, but I can fix it later" and then when I revisit it, I often go "Damn, that's not bad, actually."

I will reread my own stories just because I love them so much. I have lost so many hundreds of hours going back through documents and rereading things. I wrote them to adhere to my desires, so why wouldn't I love them?

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Probably! Assuming that I'm not spending all my time trying to survive as the lone person in some post-apocalyptic wasteland and needing to scavenge for food and water and find/maintain a shelter. Do I like sharing my stuff? Sure - though it's been a long time since I posted much of it anywhere people can find it, and now I freeze up a little bit at putting things out there again, but I digress.

If there was no one else around, I might actually write MORE because if I was the only person left alive in the entire freaking world, I would probably need something to entertain myself and fend off the crazies.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I would say a little bit of both, but more what I enjoy. If I put something in that would be for someone else, it's more of a "I bet [Specific Friend] will also get a kick out of this moment" than a consideration for a nebulous future reader.