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#I don't want to tag this as anything because it feels weird
bloopitynoot · 1 day
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Reading SVSSS: Chapter 16
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For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.
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Hello! Another day, another chapter!
I really don't have much to ramble about today, but I am back on my tea. This is a new one from the ren faire this year- vanilla chai with sugar and milk. The cup is from the same ren faire (but purchased last year).
let's go let's let's go- I am already impatient to get into this chapter.
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Last chapter we ended on a cliffhanger with Luo Binghe totally unconscious- we start this chapter with Shen QIngqiu ready to rescue his man and escape!
It's really so upsetting that he is going back to trash (two bar) spiritually energy in this body when he was so used to his mushroom Unlimited Power p65
RIP Luo Binghe's skull LOL he is really being tossed around like a rag doll. SQQ needs to be more careful. p66
MXTX said forget the only one bed trope, I raise you -> There Was Only One Coffin p67
Fuck. This is actually so scary 10/10 I would pee myself if a little skeletal arm was worming it's way into the coffin I was temporarily occupying (really anything in this book's reality would make me die of fright. as an aside I was talking to my partner about this while watching MDZS donghua yesterday, in the world of cultivators I would be a dumpling stall owner. I could never with the sword training and literal corpses). pp67-68
I CANT 'extenuating circumstances'. SQQ definitely: I just HAD to kiss his cute little forehead to save our lives. p68
i'm crying LOL "a person's abdomen is supposed to be the softest spot on their body, but Luo Binghe's was uncomfortably hard against Shen Qingqiu's stomach. The farther down he pulled him, the more he was sure that Luo Binghe had an eight-pack. Was that a rock slab down there?" p70
this keeps getting worse LMAO
OOOOO Meng Mo is back! Is it weird that I kind of love this guy? He has such a cool power and is a bit of a dick, but in the best and worst of ways. Him and Airplane give similar energy and I am not mad about it. p72
oh gosh! LBH is either "fatally ill" or "close to death" p72
wait- adding to the above point. he could also be mentally very unwell :( poor buddy -> it's likely this option. p72
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so even though SQQ is processing nothing , I think SQQ admitting (not naming the feeling but admitting) that he is feeling a mess of emotions about Luo Binghe is a big step for him! p73
Meng Mo seems to have a lot of feelings about LBH. I am not sure if it's just pride or what but whatever it is he is correct here, "The way this elder sees it, he (LBH) should either kill you (SQQ) or do you!" p74
PLEASE OH NO
I AM WHEEZING
+1000 Protagonist Satisfaction Points for touching LBH's "Heavenly Pillar" p76
IM DYING OH NO
WHY IS THIS EVEN A THOUGHT IF HE THINKS HE'S STRAIGHT "He couldn't exactly help Luo Binghe jerk off under these circumstances, right?!" p76 But like if not these circumstances he is cool with doing it in other circumstances???????????
oh no! SQQ blocking the blades with his bare hand for LBH p79
Dang. the Old Palace Master has been through some shit. p80
Are we getting more of Shen jiu's story??? We have Qiu Haitang here too! p81 (just as an aside because my notes did not revisit this, we do not get more of his story just weird little hints. That I hope Shang Qinghua clears up later). p81
What a terrible combo. Old Palace master is just butthurt Luo Binghe doesn't want him as a teacher or to marry his daughter and Qiu Haitang seems to be just a vile woman with a grudge against SQQ for some reason. pp82-83
Okay but as horrible as OPM is, that cultivation he's doing with his voice is kind of cool. p85
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Wait. Did the Old Palace Master have a thing for Su Xiyan? This is so fucking weird for LBH and he's not even conscious pp86-87
reading further the above point got so much worse omg :(((((((((((( I'm so upset for Su Xiyun. p87
It got even worse with the implications of what it meant for Luo Binghe in that sect. That terrible terrible man deserved that horrifying death. Fuck that guy! pp 89-90
OMG SQQ, basically half dead carrying LBH, barely got away from the death flower room, and here we have Tianglang-jun back on his bullshit. p94
SQQ is in such a bad state :o pp94-95
Is this another dime??? Our demon blood piggy bank for SQQ is now at $0.40 p97
YAY! Luo Binghe is awake! (is he going to be okay mentally though??)p 99
Why is Luo Binghe so mad? Like this man just nearly died trying to get you the fuck out of there p100
Fucking finally okay, it got better LBH is realizing what SQQ did while he was unconscious pp102-103
I'm glad they cleared that up (even though there was the other added miscommunication about LBH thinking SQQ was crying when he was actually just in a fuck ton of pain). p104
I am actually so glad that the discussion was interrupted before LBH found out about the dick touching being real LOL p108
MORE DEMON BLOOD. -> SQQ's dime bank is at $0.50
How many times does this man get kidnapped?
We really ended with him being kidnapped again and with Luo Binghe being conned by his own dad. That was so rough. -500 dignity points (not really but it sure feels like it)
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lachambers-central · 7 months
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I don't make as many posts on here as I used to, because when I started this blog I was a little shit and now I almost have a bachelors degree (which is insane), but yesterday I remembered this random thing about this account (thx to bestie @binarystarkillers) that I'm not sure I ever shared, so I thought I'd do it now:
Obviously, we've made no secret of the lachambers discord. It's not really active at the moment, but it still exists. When we got a little influx of new members and everyone did their little intros, and included their Tumblr blogs, I did my own and said "I'm Frank blah blah, my blog is lachambers-central" and someone was like "omg??? you're lachambers-central??? aaaa that was like one of the first blogs I found when there was like 0 lachambers content" (obviously this is paraphrasing and I'm sorry I can't remember the blog who said this to me).
And here's the thing: I will never consider myself a famous Tumblr blog, not on here and especially not on my main blog. However, I'm not completely oblivious to the impact this blog has had on our tiny community. We were like 6 people with a dream when we started out (ily @train-dodge @dreashappyworld @bi-gordie @binarystarkillers & Robin wherever you are), and now this community has grown so much (not to crazy fandom levels, let's hope that never happens), and someone just telling me straight up that my blog has had some tiny impact was just such a cool moment for me, one of the coolest moments ever tbh.
I'm really proud to be a part of this community and I have so much love for the people in it. And although we're not just six people screaming at each other anymore, this blog will always mean a lot to me, and it means a lot that it has meant something to other people as well.
Anyways, enough sappiness. Just, thank you <3
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lunarharp · 1 year
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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mercymaker · 2 months
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i spent quite a bit of time thinking, considering my options and wondering if i should even respond to the 'apology' to begin with, but i feel like i've been here before, in this exact same position (i didn't respond to his original 'apology' because it felt off how he omitted the fact that he pretended to be the victim for a whole week, but even then i decided to not say anything and just let the dust settle and give him a chance to learn and do better) and doing nothing eventually just caused more harm. even if i can't reach the other side and find common understanding, i wanted to at least express what's been on my mind for such a long time.
i always try to approach people and situations with understanding and try to assume ignorance instead of malice when someone says or does something i consider questionable or wrong. but i also know we all have our limits. we are all human. and you can't take the heart out of the equation.
one thing in this 'apology' that really stood out to me was this:
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how is it not malice to completely disregard another creator, hell, another person and their wishes and feelings when they have made it very clear that your actions are causing them harm?
how is it not malice to outright lie and misrepresent other people and situations in order to portray yourself in a better light?
how is it not malice to disrespect the people you've stolen from and then, after they (by your own words!) rightfully address it and try to bring your actions to light, you then turn around and vilify them to your friends and followers? portray them as bullies and gatekeepers?
all while repeating again and again how the whole experience made you stop creating? as if your actions didn't force people out of this space, this fandom? have you ever sat down to think how the person that made you a 40 minute video tutorial on gif making, the person that taught you so much, no longer makes anything at all because you turned your back on her and copied her sets? kept doing it after she blocked you? after she made text posts expressing how upsetting your behaviour was? you didn't care and kept doing it anyway. even saying things like 'i always credit where credit is due' in response to copying numerous sets from @minthara, down to the caption without ever crediting her.
and if that wasn't enough harm, you then took it a notch further and straight up lied to the people around you, trying to vilify petra and i by saying how the whole thing should've been dealt with in private. how is it not malice to omit the fact that I DID, in fact, reach out to you privately. that i did it in a civil manner. that i tried to explain to you how your actions were wrong and were rightfully upsetting other creators. how you ignored everything i've said and when i expressed that your response (or lack of it) made me uncomfortable and that because of it i couldn't give you permission to 'recreate' (copy) my work, you then insulted me and told me that it didn't matter what i wanted? that you would do as you please and there was nothing i could do about it? how you then immediately blocked me so i couldn't even respond? how is that not malice?
and then this was from your apology back in march:
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and you insist that after this 'apology' you've learnt and were never doing anything wrong again and yet you are saying the same thing again in your new 'apology'. how after the march events you went to @galedekarios anyway, asking for permission, didn't wait for her response and posted your copy of her set anyway. which just makes me think that you've never learnt. it just makes it seem that asking people for permission never stemmed from a place of respect and understanding, but from the need to cover your ass in case someone brings the fact that you're still copying up. which someone did, apparently.
at the end of the day, this is my opinion and i might be wrong, but following all of your words and actions, it just seems like you chose notes and attention instead of people. that you kept lying and misrepresenting things and throwing us under the bus for your own gain. and that you only stopped because enough people eventually found out, not because you suddenly felt remorse. and this 'apology' was just another 'ask for permission from a creator', all just for optics. you couldn't even bother to unblock us before posting the 'apology' which just shows how little you were actually thinking about any of us.
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arkiwii · 6 months
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very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around
have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along
#i'll elaborate#firstly it's ok if you headcanon this i don't want to invalidate what people think#it's just that I think it's a fanon joke that have been going around for way too long#and I can't help but shed a small tear when I see people really headcanoning it#I personally think it's way more interesting if we consider that they never had something going on before Lone Trail#mostly because it's weird that they started dating in like some months when they barely knew or saw each other#but also because it adds nothing but just makes things even more harder for them#my personal headcanon is that Silence was maybe having feelings for Saria but like#you know these very premature feelings#like just “oh wow she's pretty and nice”#but nothing like really deep#but they never had anything going on before the diabolic crisis#and after lone trail after they made up and saw each other's true person#they start to actually get real feelings#I'm just complaining but I've been still seeing it around somehow and it's sad to me that this joke became a fact for many people#there's still a lot of fanfics about how they had been dating and now they're on bad terms#I think that going on the “they're exes” route is way too easy and actually hides the potential and interesting reason#of why Silence was mad at Saria#it's not because she hates Saria or blame her#it's because she's mad at herself for being so weak#really making them appear as exes just hides this really interesting truth and makes it all seem to be a sad love story#consider that they never had any of this and that this tension between them is because they blame themselves!!#their story is not a love story but above all a story about self love and acceptance#just my two cents enjoy my rambling i go back to bed now#(not putting this in the main tag I don't want to start a war I'm just rambling)
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toasteaa · 17 days
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I don't know what's been going on with me recently but like...there's this tiny shred of guilt that I'm not doing anything really engaging on here anymore? Like, my creative block is fading out (finally), but I haven't drawn or written anything substantial recently and I feel really weird about that. Not just for you all looking at my blog, but also just in a creative bust kind of way.
There are ideas and themes and such that I would love to play with or dabble in, but I keep stopping them because they're either too self indulgent or there's no visual work to go with it. I don't really know how to describe it? Like I feel like I've been lazy creatively speaking recently when I COULD be getting more ideas out, but it's about the same ship all the time and idk, I also feel like I've gotten to the point where I'm talking too much again? Not that anyone here has made me feel like that and I have asks that I need to answer so I KNOW I'm not talking too much but I'm!!!! Being splashed with the self conscious and self critical and imposter syndrome buckets and I need them to stop!!!!
#toast talks#Not necessarily meant to be a vent so I'm not putting it in my vent tag but!#The save to draft button has become my best friend LOL#Idk it's just that weird feeling that settles in whenever I realize that I haven't actually finished anything and then whenever#I'm asked about eclairette specifically I always have the hardest time answering some questions!#And it's like...I know their story? But I also don't? Because it's just in fragments all over my brain that change sometimes?#And then I get sucked into aus because I love the ideas of aus and seeing characters in different situations#but then I worry that maybe I'm not presenting the characters well enough? Or maybe I'm getting too self indulgent in everything I do?#WHICH ISN'T BAD AT ALL I JUST. My brain. It does things and makes me overthink the most basic enjoyments I have.#And part of me feels like this would be solved if I had more ships but like...idk. I do/did have other ships but eclairette just.#They feel right to me. They're like...a comfort ship now? Idk. Their story is fun and enjoyable to me and even their noncanon lore is#fun for me to run through my head on end.#Hmmm. I think my brain has just been in a weird spot recently and it's because creative juices are pumping but I have not done a creative#in...three months?#Good lird I need to at least doodle them again -#btw still not a vent! Just sorting my brain out and trying to see what it's got going on and what it wants cause??? Get it together girl#We've got lore to make. Canon and otherwise.#If you got this far I love you. If you didn't get this far I love you. I need those blue bitches to do SOMETHING soon.#''they should do each other'' true and correct. But that will have to wait. We gotta get lore written down first!
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moinsbienquekaworu · 11 days
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Devastating news: my brother is a normal person. It doesn't run in the family, I'm just a weird freak for no reason
#i'm exaggerating but not that much. my parents are like that because they're in their 50s. they were young adults once#okay so my brother. 18 years of age. just started his fancy higher studies in maths. tiny baby goatee he's not shaving.#went to a friend's week long birthday party in a house in the countryside#made out with a girl there?? apparently???#started drinking alcohol. and has now been going out longer and more frequently and sleeping at other people's places#and bestie. let me tell you. i was never doing any of that shit. in fact i am not doing any of that still and i'm a few years older#i don't go out much. i have like four or five friends at all times tops. i certainly don't come back late or god forbid sleep over#never drunk alcohol (don't want to. i could! i just don't. i'm the sober idiot in the corner when everyone else is drunk)#never kissed anyone or had a partner or anything of the sort#he decided to sleep over at midnight?? with zero preparation??#buddy it would have to be pouring acid rain for me to have an unplanned sleepover#without my toothbrush? my pyjama? my phone charger? my plushies? possibly my own pillow/blanket? be for real#my brother is a normal teenager/young adults with a social life and no weird hangup about romance and alcohol and spontaneity#and i'm some kind of freak i guess. having a normal time#older sister girlfailure forever i suppose. how the fuck do i feel like my younger brother is cooler and more normal than me???#i don't even want to be like that i like myself i thought i left all this stupid unfounded insecurity behind with school!!#arghhhhhh#wow i have a ramble tag now
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cyberhexes · 2 months
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you only wanna be the one that i call baby :(
ten days ago i said something about this edit on twitter and then didn't make it. hyperfocus hit so hard last night and i finally made it
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jinxed-sinner · 5 months
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Alright here's my full (possibly hot) take on redesigning Hazbin Hotel characters and making a video showcasing those redesigns while you criticize the official designs.
First and foremost, you are redesigning someone else's OCs. Hazbin Hotel is, in essence, a passion project for Viv. How she talks about it makes that incredibly clear to me. The only difference between Hazbin Hotel and, for example, the story I'm developing surrounding some of my D&D OCs is that Hazbin Hotel got picked up by a streaming service and is significantly more popular than most passsion projects get.
Personally if someone wanted to redesign my D&D OCs, I wouldn't mind it, in fact I'd probably think it was really cool that someone would want to redesign one of my OCs to be closer to their tastes in terms of what they like to draw. I would, however, be made incredibly uncomfortable if someone made a video redesigning them where they also pointed out everything they thought was wrong with the designs. I didn't design these specific D&D characters to be 1-to-1 accurate to their classes in D&D or to look professionally designed. I designed them how I wanted them to look for the story I'm telling because I don't plan to ever play them in a campaign. The main character Avlan is a paladin, and I can acknowledge that his design might not look exactly like a paladin. One of the tabaxi in the story (Ice) is a bard and the other (Spark) is a ranger, and I acknowledge that their classes might not come across well in their designs. The single tiefling I've designed for this story (Tragedy) is a cleric but might not come off as one in their design. But I specifically designed them to be easy for me to draw because I want to be able to tell this story through my art. Having someone say "oh, Avlan's armor isn't paladin enough!" or "Avlan's fur colors and patterns should be closer to a wild rabbit's because harengon shouldn't be based on domestic rabbit colors!" would fucking hurt (especially because I'm so attached to Avlan, but it would hurt just as much if similar comments were made about Ice, Spark, or Tragedy). I am so passionate about these characters and being told their designs are bad or wrong in some way would be like a stab in the heart, and it would still feel like a stab in the heart if this story ever got a massive fandom behind it. Giving Avlan more complex armor because you think it'd look cool or just want to see what it'd look like? Sure, if I could draw more complex armor I'd give him more complex armor too. Giving him more complex armor but also shitting on the armor I decide to draw him with? My motivation to draw him in his armor, potentially draw him period, would be dead for WEEKS.
Why is it suddenly okay just because someone's passion project was picked up by Amazon Prime? Why is it suddenly okay to be "fixing" someone's character designs just because the project has a much bigger budget than most artists get and is on a popular streaming service? It's not. I don't care if you're a professional character designer, or think a specific character would look better with certain traits, or just don't like the character designs.
Hazbin Hotel is still Vivienne Medrano's passion project, and redesigning her characters and making videos talking about everything you think is "wrong" with them is, honestly, disgusting. You can make videos explaining your choices in your redesigns without putting down the designs that already exist, whether you like them or not. Me thinking Lucifer looks better with his tail not restricted to his full demon form doesn't suddenly mean I don't like his official design, because I fucking love it. If you wouldn't do it to an artist whose passion project is just a webcomic here on Tumblr, don't fucking do it to an artist whose passion project got picked up for a cartoon by a big streaming service (or any company for that matter).
#hazbin hotel#vent#kinda#i just think it's a weird double standard#'yeah don't fix people's art! unless theyre working on a project that was picked up by a big company then it's fine to fix their art'#like???#why is that a mentality that exists?? they're still viv's characters#and you can still redesign them without shitting on the official designs#pretty much all of my redesign notes for hazbin hotel are 'how can i make this character easier and more fun for me to draw'#because i specialize in furry art. i don't usually draw humanoids lol#so giving vox some shark traits for example or making adam more birdlike would make them more fun for me to draw#why can't we redesign them based on that without saying 'i think it's weird that this decision was made for this character's design'#they're still viv's characters. they're still her designs. stop pointing out everything you think is wrong with them for fucks sake#we don't need to talk about hazbin's character designs. we don't need to 'fix' them#just say they aren't for you and move on. there's literally nothing inherently wrong with them#i also feel like not enough people actually do research into the historical contexts of some characters#and i think it'd be really fuckin cool to see people redesign characters more based on headcanons based on that than anything#look into how the mafia operated in new york in the early/mid 1900s for angel. look into radio hosts in the 1920s for alastor.#look into las vegas culture during husk's lifetime for husk. look into the culture surrounding tv hosts in the 1950s for vox.#LOOK INTO THE CULTURE OF THE ELIZABETHAN ERA FOR ZESTIAL.#(i just presented zestial ideas to anyone who wants them on a silver platter. you're welcome)#(also new headcanon that zestial was friends with shakespeare in life because why the fuck not)#(when the tags get wildly out of hand)
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sciderman · 11 months
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i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone
damn son save some for the rest of us!!
#sci speaks#i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful.#oh the people with hyperactive hearts...#i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet.#holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on.#i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out.#is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet.#i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell.#so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them.#not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think.#i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way.#squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy.#i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either.#and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it.#lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want.#is love the answer?#i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it.#i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out.#why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something.#i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy.#like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy.#is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think.#i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life.#i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but.#you can get money back. you can't get your time back.
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many-gay-magpies · 4 months
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i am becoming increasingly sure as time goes on that my gender is Not Cis but its like. not enough for me to do anything like god forbid tell my parents. not bc they wouldn't be ACCEPTING but because i don't feel like they'd UNDERSTAND and trying to explain it to them would be too much work when i A) barely even know how to describe it to MYSELF and B) feel comfortable enough being described as a woman/girl/female/whatever. like if im fine enough being called a girl and im comfortable in my body and don't yet feel a need to use pronouns other than she/her then what's the point of trying to explain to my mom that i find the concept of gender pretty much inapplicable to myself/kind of confining and i feel more like an amorphous forest creature than a Girl and i wouldnt mind being perceived more masculine sometimes by society at large and gender questions on forms make me uncomfortable because i'm never totally sure what to answer.
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booskwan · 5 months
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i'm not an aroha i never really have been but i heard about fly and now i am crying
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people can use this site however they want but there's something almost- idk, sad? about how few people are actually using their blogs. you can turn themes on and have skeletons dancing in the background. you can make everything hot pink. your blog is your scrapbook and you can put whatever you want in there. tags are okay at organizing things so you can have just a whole archive of cool shit to look at later. i know people complain a lot about people liking stuff about reblogging for engagement, and on one hand i get that- it is WILD to see a drawing i spent hours on get only 12 reblogs and 60 likes. Absolute culture shock compared to my previous fandoms. but i don't think you should reblog anything to make artists happy. i think you should reblog things so you can find them again. i think you should queue things to appear on the dash at specific times on certain days. i think you should reblog things so when you're talking to your friends about xyz post you saw you can look in your blog's archive and find it again. i think you should reblog things so that your dash is filled with one really sleepy cat. with the loss of reblogs there's the loss of engagement, which Does hurt the community-focus that makes tumblr so appealing, but idk i just wish people were more excited about the incredible amount of customization that tumblr allows and took advantage of that more
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foxgirlmoth · 1 year
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I don't talk about this stuff on here pretty much at all, but a past relationship really broke a ton of bits and pieces of my brain and heart in weird ways (I'm finally thinking about him almost never but the shit he pulled was abusive as hell and still affects me sometimes). Being in love with my current girlfriends for a while felt almost. Painful? Almost like I should be ashamed I can fall so deeply in love with people, and especially how quickly that can happen sometimes too. Thats how it kind of felt. I tend to get overwhelmed with emotions if I'm feeling them very strongly, and that has been extremely embarrassing and also felt almost like I was being a burden to those I love (which love is the main emotion that can 'get dialed up to 11' for me). It IS debilitating in some ways!!! It hasn't gotten bad enough I've been nonverbal in a really really long time but that happened this past week and it was wild to me.
Things are getting better now though! Therapy in the past has helped, and honestly having such patient and understanding partners has made a world of difference ;w;. my wife is someone who was one of my best friends and I had a huge crush on and now I can ask for cuddles and we can nap together and I've fallen so much in love. Her and her presence are literally heaven for me, I don't know if anything has ever made me happier than just laying next to her and feeling her warmth.
Worries of course flare up and I feel like I need to lean on her a lot during those moments, but I don't feel like too much of a burden to her. I love seeing the posts that say stuff like 'Its okay to be a burden' or 'its okay to be annoying' because really truly I think I need to be those things to survive sometimes. I can be 'a lot' and I can be a little bit obsessive and those things aren't inherently bad or evil of me. I just make sure I'm feeling okay during and after and make sure I'm checking in on myself often. I'm a bit of a broken girl, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely happy and living a life I love. I've written poems and everything about how it feels like it must hurt to love me and my broken jagged edges, but hey, even if it does a little bit, it doesn't mean someone like my girlfriend/wife won't go through a little bit of burden to love me, and I'm more than happy to return all of this and more for her as well if she's ever in need or feels broken ;^;
#Not to be too gay but I wanna build my life with my princess more and more#She's. So good to me and she's so pretty and she's so beautiful and attentive and she listens to me in ways I feel no one else has#She understands me so well!! And I hopefully make her feel the same#But yeah I've been a burden a lot to people due to autism (which I didn't know I had for fucking ages) adhd and physical disabilites#And she feels like she isn't taking care of me which is good because I'd honestly hate that#But she understands me and makes me a better person and that's exactly what I've wanted for forever.#And being demi/aspec is awesome with her since she's aspec too and there's no pressure for sex or sexy times but if we both want it#It can still be super fun!! We gotta figure more of that stuff out if we want but knowing each others kinks (and sharing a good bit) rocks#Idk its so so so so easy to love my wife Maxie#She's so dear to me and we've only been dating for 4 months but they've been 4 months I've felt the most alive and seen#Its so easy to be cringe but free with her too idk#She makes me better and I hope I do the same for her. I don't want either of us to stagnate yknow?#But anyways yeah this is just a big journal entry of some kind I might do these every once and a while#Not to like. Brag??? I guess. Or show my mental illness so much. Its just kind of nice if friends know where I'm at in my life I guess#And idk having outside input on thoughts can be good. If any friends see this and go 'Hey Runa this is real weird maybe tone it down'#I can look at that stuff a bit more#Gonna tag this in a way I can find it and others in the future too#Runa diary logs#But yeah you're not hearing this from me but I wanna be with Maxine for the foreseeable future more than anything.#Gotta get my degree and a good job too and she's ofc not the only person in my life (I have Sara who is so very dear to me too ;w;)#Nor is she the only 'goal' I have either. I wanna make games I wanna make art. I wanna make something that other trans people#And queer people and just minorities in general can look at or play or experience and just go. Life is worth living#I love my life right now and I'm so glad I've made it to my late 20's.#Its only uphill from here :3#Wanna add on when I say she's not the only person in my life I mean that I have so many friends and people I love who love me too :3#♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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wheeler-things · 2 years
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Mike Wheeler, the Hand and Eye of Vecna, and D&D as Foreshadowing
I'm about to say something unhinged.
It's going to take a fair amount of words to unpack (sorry about that) because I need to give context before I just come out and say it. And I'm fully aware that it's just one of hundreds of possible options for s5, so I'm really not trying to convince anybody of anything just... I was thinking about foreshadowing and analogies again, and something occurred to me and then it snowballed and.... hm.
Okay, so, I talked about it a lot more in this post, but the key point for what I'm talking about here is my belief that the Party's first D&D game in s1 actually foreshadows all of the main Upside Down antagonists from seasons 1-4, with the D&D Demogorgon actually representing Henry. Essentially, my breakdown came down to this:
"Something is coming. Something hungry for blood." -> s1 -> the Demogorgon. "A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you in darkness." -> s2 -> the shadow monster. "An army of troglodytes charge into the chamber!" -> s3 -> the Mind Flayer and the Flayed. "The Demogorgon!" -> s4 -> Henry Creel.
So, the remaining unaccounted for villains (assuming that the way the characters use D&D enemies as analogies is not necessarily representative of/accurate to what they actually foreshadow within the narrative) are:
Mike's Thessalhydra
Will's Juju hoard
Eddie's Vecna
I have some speculation on the first two, but it's the third that I'm going to do a deep dive into my thoughts on.
Since this is pretty long and it takes a bit of time to get through the contextualizing, let me clarify up front that this ties into the "Mike has a connection to the Upside Down" theories which I love, but which I know are not to everyone's tastes.
Who IS Vecna (in Stranger Things)?
From the campaign in s4e1, we learn:
Vecna is hiding in plain sight among his own cultists
"His skin is shrivelled. Desiccated. And [...] he is not only missing his left arm, but his left eye"
Vecna was believed to be dead/killed by Kas
An 11 isn't enough to defeat him, but a 20 is (notably, we don't actually hear what Dustin and Erica were trying to roll to do-- based on the context of the scene, we assume that it was combat-based, but it is not explicitly laid out)
Later, in s4e2, Vecna is described (in terms that the characters start to tie to the entity we later learn is Henry, in an effort to theorize about what's going on) as:
An undead creature of great power
A spellcaster
A dark wizard
Note: In the context of Eddie's description of what happened to Chrissy, the term "Vecna's curse" is brought up. This leads into the description of Vecna's characteristics listed above, but no further details (as far as I can find or remember) are given about what Vecna's curse is like in Eddie's game. Which leads me to...
Who IS Vecna (in D&D)?
Alright, I have to admit-- I've played D&D before, but my friends have a tendency to prefer MotW/PbtA-based games, and even when we HAVE done D&D, the storylines and characters have been entirely from the DM's mind/not from anything official. As a result, everything I'm about to say here is based on what Google can tell me (I'm aware others have talked about this before, but I think it gives some useful context for where I'm going to go in this analysis, if I make sure we’re all on the same page about the background D&D lore).
The main websites that I used to get information for this part can be found here, here, and here.
So! The long and short of it seems to be that in life, Vecna was a wizard who built a "terrible empire". In order to avoid death, he turned himself into a lich, and in undeath, he continued to grow his empire. He had a lieutenant named Kas, who Vecna gifted a sword to. For unknown (though the speculation does not paint him in a positive light) reasons, Kas murdered Vecna, leaving behind only Vecna's eye and left hand along with a pile of ash. However, his spirit survived the attack and he spent "eons" regaining his former power. In the meantime, his artifacts, cults, and "dark secrets" continued corrupting others/pushing them towards evil.
It may also be notable that Vecna was known to have a "formidable and hideous" temper.
And... that's the short version of everything that I could find about Vecna in D&D.
Henry Creel as Vecna
So, this is the obvious conclusion, because the characters call Henry "Vecna", which seems to have largely lead to the audience assumption that the Vecna in Eddie's campaign definitely foreshadows Henry. And I want to start out by acknowledging that I do think this is absolutely a possibility! I could 100% be wrong about the Demogorgon in Mike's campaign representing Henry, and even if I'm not, there's nothing that says there can't be two moments of foreshadowing for the same antagonist.
If Henry is Vecna, I know there are a lot of theories about who Kas is, and I'm not interested in getting too deep into the weeds on that particular debate. With that being said, I will say that when I first watched s4 I personally thought it was obvious that, if Henry was actually the person foreshadowed by Eddie's Vecna, then El was clearly Kas and had already fulfilled her part in that role?
I mean, Henry didn't have any real power in the lab so obviously El wasn't his lieutenant. But she was clearly his favourite (or, depending on how you read his character, he at least did a good job of pretending that she was his favourite). He gave her a weapon (in that he taught her to use her anger to weaponize her powers). At first she helped him with things (ie. getting Soteria out of his neck), but later she turned against him and used the "weapon" he "gave" her in order to, as far as she understood at the time, kill him (literally turned him to ash, and he appears when we see him next in the Upside Down). But, of course, he wasn't actually dead, and in line with Eddie's campaign, he came back. El tried to face him alone, but it failed/missed just like the eleven roll.
You may or may not agree with me on that, but I personally think it's the most likely scenario. I just... can't see them recreating everyone thinking Henry has been killed for a THIRD time only to bring him back AGAIN. And in my opinion, El-as-Kas (but she's already fulfilled the role) does fit very well with what we know about Vecna from Eddie's campaign/with a number of the details from D&D.
I will also concede that you could make the case that Henry was hiding in plain sight among his cultists during the time when he was interacting with baby!El (as in, he was disguised as a lab assistant, and obviously the whole Lab is dedicated to, essentially, recreating Henry's powers so that's sort of like a cult to him, I suppose), and that he is certainly, as of the present timeline in s4, something like an undead creature as well was being very powerful and functionally a dark wizard. His flesh is even shrivelled and desiccated after his time in the Upside Down.
All of which is to say, without speculating heavily about the potential events of s5, Henry does look incredibly appealing as the thing foreshadowed by Eddie's campaign.
But…
The Case for Someone Else as Vecna
There are a few main reasons why I think that Henry is a red herring as the thing Vecna was foreshadowing.
Firstly, and least compellingly (I have to mention it, but it's not evidence that stands on its own), if Mike's Demogorgon foreshadows Henry, but the Party mis-used its name for the UD's Demogorgon because it was the monster they happened to be fighting at the time, then it stands to reason that it's possible that they may have mis-used Vecna's name to apply it to Henry for the same reason-- it was the most recent/most superficially relevant enemy the Party had fought in D&D and, as such, made for a decent enough analogy to the current situation.
Secondly, just on a narrative scale, if El has already played the Kas role in the s4 flashbacks and then has also already made her failed roll in present day s4... then literally all that's left is to roll a 20 and win? It's too smooth/too easy to take up a whole season. Obviously, the writers can throw in extra drama and struggle and tension, but if we're already past the failed 11 roll, then... it can't be too intense or else the foreshadowing loses its tight 1:1 dynamic with what's happening in the plot. And “not too intense” is very rarely what people are going for when they write a finale season.
Thirdly... despite how well Henry aligns with almost all of the descriptions of Eddie's Vecna, he does not align with what I would argue are the two most emphasized descriptors (the two that Eddie puts the most passion and physicality into describing, and the two which seem to actually make it clear to the Club that the unknown cultist is Vecna). Namely: Henry very much is not missing an eye or an arm. His left arm is odd looking, but that's not because he ever lost it and had to replace it. It appears to just be part of whatever the Upside down is doing to him/turning him into (God, I hope he's turning into a Demogorgon-- I saw someone suggest that at one point and I wish I could find the post to link it here, because I think it would be the funniest and most fitting option). And Henry's eyes both look kind of odd/cloudy now, but not only does he have both of them, but the flashback to him wandering the Upside Down after El threw him in there make it explicitly clear that his injured/initially damaged eye was his right eye. It would have been just as easy, and changed nothing about the overall narrative, if they had made Henry’s left eye blind instead/to subtly align with the Vecna analogy, so the fact that they so pointedly didn’t suggests to me that, in terms of foreshadowing, Henry may not actually be Vecna at all. In fact, there is nothing at all that I can remember connecting Henry to the idea of left eyes, except that the characters call him Vecna, and Eddie's Vecna is described as being devoid of one.
Also (and this is just a small point), I do think that it's interesting that in D&D, Vecna's backstory includes him creating a dark empire, and there are a lot of theories abounding about the idea that someone in the main cast created or significantly altered the Upside Down (I've mostly seen them about Will and Mike, but I imagine there are other similar theories for other characters). Because what we know for sure is that Henry absolutely did not create it, and likely did not significantly alter it either (at least not until he met the shadow monster), I do think that it's worth noting that this is another way in which Henry's character diverges from at least the D&D version of Vecna.
Detour: How do Superpowers Work in Stranger Things?
I may or may not have driven myself mad trying to figure this out. And I also may or may not have spent a long time resigned to the idea that Kali had been retconned by s4 showing that all the other numbers seem to have basically the same powers as Henry and El (with the possible exception of El's ability to open portals into the UD-- unless Henry had this ability as well before the Mind Flayer took a chunk out of El in s3... we simply don't know yet).
I feel like I maybe heard something, at one point, that suggested that all of the kids in the lab had telekinesis and then also at least one other power. However, I can't find a source on that? Also, I don't believe there's any direct evidence of this shown in s4 (and Kali's powers outright contradict it), given that the only non-telekinetic power that we were shown by anybody but Henry and El was 010 who was able to see what others were doing in his mind (which seemed to be very similar to El's mind void abilities, if maybe a little stronger or more well-practised).
Either way, I think the evidence given in the show suggests that there are three possible ways to develop or obtain supernatural abilities in the Stranger Things universe.
Via experimentation. This was the case for El, and very likely also most of the other kids in the Lab. It also seems to have been the case for El's mother, who we see being able to flicker the lights and change the channels on her television with her mind.
Through infiltration by and/or extended exposure to the Upside Down. I'm a little more tentative on this one, because my main example of this is Will, and we all know that there are a LOT of theories about Will's abilities. And I want to stress that I cannot definitively say they're wrong. All I can say is that, as the show exists right now, one of many possible readings is that Will's abilities, such as sensing the Mind Flayer, seem to be a result of his experiences with the Upside Down. If this is accurate, then it represents a method of obtaining powers that is distinct from how El got hers. I’m not at all trying to discount the possibility that Will could have other powers that he was born with or developed due to experimentation (I love a good Will-born-with-powers theory!), I just want to consider the possibility that Will’s powers could be a result of his experiences with the Upside Down.
Being born with them/developing them spontaneously. Henry is the obvious example of this, but I also believe that Kali is another example. Her powers are completely different than those of the other numbers. Moreover, Kali was abducted when she was five, unlike El who was abducted as an infant. To me, this suggests that Kali was likely not the result of Brenner's experimentation, but rather, more similar to Henry in that she spontaneously developed powers, and Brenner took advantage of that fact. If this is the case, it would explain why Kali's powers are so different from those of everybody else that we've seen-- because it is likely that Brenner used Henry Creel as the basis upon which his experiments were developed, explaining why they largely seem to have powers very similar to Henry.
If this assessment is correct (and I cannot stress enough how speculative I am being here because this is still a huge mystery in the show itself), then I do think it's interesting that Henry (who is almost certainly going to be the main/active antagonist for the vast majority of s4, even if he doesn't turn out to be "Vecna" from Eddie's campaign in the end) represents 3/3 of these points (he was experimented on by Brenner, he has been changed by the Upside Down, and he developed his powers spontaneously), and yet, out of our protagonists, only 2/3 of those points are currently represented (El who developed her powers via experimentation, and Will who likely/possibly-- I know everyone has their own strong opinions on this developed them via exposure to the Upside Down)?
In reality, I think that if my interpretation of how getting superpowers works in this universe is accurate, then it seems to me that we will very likely have a character with powers that developed naturally to complement El and Will.
However, both for narrative reasons (it would feel too shoehorned in/too Deus ex Machina) and for fitting in with the other established characters who seem to have spontaneously developed powers reasons, it would not make sense for any of our protagonists to all of a sudden start moving things with their minds. Narratively, it would just seem like it was being added in at the last minute and, anyway, it seems like Kali developed her powers/showed clear signs of them before the age of five, and Henry developed his around the age of twelve, so it’s likely that if any of our characters were going to develop powers, it would start before their teenage years.
So, assuming we're not getting Erica (God, I wish) or Holly (...I mean, I wouldn't complain) suddenly developing powers of their own, it seems likely that if any of our characters are going to have spontaneous powers, they likely already have them/are already using them. However, I don't think any of our beloved ensemble cast would know they have powers and not share that with the class. They all want to beat the Upside Down, and El and Will have already more than shown how useful superpowers are in that effort.
And... on a narrative level, let's be real. If this is the direction things are going, the reveal of these powers/abilities cannot be a joyous occasion. It has to hurt. Because if it doesn't hurt, we're back to the Deus ex Machina issue. But if it hurts-- if the reveal causes severe conflict for the character in question and with the people around them, if it breaks them down and reveals new things about them, if the reveal feels like a loss, in the moment when it comes about, rather than a win for the cast... then it might work.
For that to happen, the repressed/extant but unknown powers have to connect to the Upside Down. They have to have had a significant hand in all the pain that our characters have gone through. Possibly via either creating the Upside Down or the shadow monster, or else through some other connection. But the connection has to be there, because the reveal needs to cause fear, pain, and conflict for the characters.
Detour Cont'd: So... Who Is It?
So... if my wild speculation above is in any way accurate, I think it's worth taking a look at our established characters to see who could have done it.
So, Henry was wandering the Upside Down from 1979 onwards, El opened her first gate in that same year, so I suspect that if any of our characters did accidentally create/influence the Upside Down it likely happened starting around this time. In '79 (dangerously assuming my math is correct), Nancy (also Jonathan and Robin) would have been 11-12, and the Party would have been 7-8, making them the primary possibilities. - I think it's fair to assume that if they're doing this, it would be a major character that we've known since s1, so that discounts Robin and Max. - Additionally, given the composition of the final shot of s4, I think it's reasonable to assume that this character would be in that final shot, because they would have a significant role to play in s5. That cuts out Lucas and Dustin as well. - I'll also say that we can cut out El and Will, since their powers are (under this specific interpretation) already accounted for. - That leaves the remaining options as: Nancy, Jonathan, and Mike. - And, I mean... Mike's the one who's in the middle of that final shot, just as much as Will is. Mike's the one who always knows weird random stuff about the Upside Down and about El's powers. Mike's the one whose plans always work out. Mike's the only one who has never managed to land a punch/at least not managed to land a punch in the A plot of a season climax. Mike's the one whose emotions are a total mystery to the audience (outside of those who engage in intense rewatching and analysis to pick it apart lol). And… Mike’s the one who’s always depicted in a trio with El and Will (I know this is love triangle imagery, but it could potentially have a double meaning). - My point being-- if all of my previous reasoning/interpreting is accurate, then Mike is the only character who makes any sense in this role.
Also, just talking about logistics here-- in order to be comprehensible to audience members who are not about to sit down and rewatch the show a million times in order to pick up on subtle clues and hints, there are a few issues that are going to require a decent amount of screen time in order to explain/develop in s5. To my mind, (outside of ship dynamics) those are:
Where is Max? Why can't El find her?
What is Will's connection to the Upside Down? Did the Demogorgon really take Will in s1? Why is Henry/the Mind Flayer so focused on him?
Why is the Upside Down stuck in time/why and how did it start looking like Hawkins?
What the hell is going on in Mike Wheeler's head?
How will everybody react to the Upside Down and its monsters now that they're bound to start becoming common knowledge around Hawkins?
How are they going to deal with the military? What is going to happen to El if her location is compromised? How will this impact the fight against Henry/the Upside Down?
What is the relationship between Henry and the shadow monster/Mind Flayer? Is it possible for the gang to kill/destroy/incapacitate both? How will they do that?
My point is, there's one question on this list that doesn't seem to be connected into the Upside Down plot in any way-- and that's point 4. The question about Mike. Because realistically speaking, Stranger Things has a Mike Wheeler-shaped problem. He's a protagonist every season, and he's literally equally sharing the centre of the screen with Will in the final shot of s4, so if we're getting a Will Byers protagonist moment in s5, I think it's safe to suggest that we're also getting a Mike Wheeler protagonist moment.
But generally speaking, people don't want a Mike Wheeler protagonist moment, because people don't like him. And obviously that's because the underlying issues that he's going through have been hidden from plain view, but, like... you don't do that for no reason. Narratively speaking, you only do that if you're amping up for a big reveal.
And, yes. Mike and Will getting together would absolutely be a massive reveal and I can fully understand why they wouldn't want to spoil it... but. To get people to care about Mike again, and to believe that he "deserves" Will, they need to devote time and narrative space to explaining Mike's emotional state, both regarding his sexuality, and regarding whatever mental health issues he's struggling with. And they could have put more of this in s4! Mike and Will had FOUR heart to hearts, discounting the van scene. They very much could have had Mike express some of his (likely) experiences with depression and/or PTSD, without having to show their hand about his sexuality/feelings for Will. Doing so would have helped the audience have more sympathy for/understanding of Mike, AND would have significantly cut down on the ground they have to cover with his character in s5.
Because... they're going to need to take up a fair amount of time in s5 to show all of the stuff they need to cover with Mike if they actually are intending to follow through with him being queer and also, like, not beloathed by a large swath of the audience, they're going to need to connect his emotional issues to the Upside Down/A plot somehow. Which they can absolutely do! Henry's whole thing is perfect for that. And it worked with Max-- but there's a difference.
Because, with Max, her experiences with Henry/Vecna's curse were used to give the audience new information to help solve the mystery of the season. But we don't need that again. And... sure, Mike could get cursed/attacked and learn something useful in the fight against Henry, in addition to showcasing all the stuff that's going on inside his head, but given that Will's back in town and is already psychically linked with Henry/the Mind Flayer... I mean, it seems more natural to have that dynamic fall to Will?
This is a lot of talking, but my POINT is... they did not have to hold Mike's emotional state so close to their chests. Let's be real-- they could have at least started to outline the idea that Mike might be struggling with mental health issues, and nobody who isn't already reading the writing on the wall for Mike/Will would be jumping to assume it meant he was struggling with any gay feelings. Like, let's be absolutely real here: they could have had Mike outright say "I don't know, it's like you left and all of a sudden I didn't have the energy to do anything all I could do was sit around and miss you" to Will and people would have understood it as "ohhhh he was depressed because he missed El/has trauma about El disappearing on him/leaving him".
So, if we're reading Mike correctly-- if he's struggling with mental health issues and they're putting in all the little clues and hints to it that we're picking up on/that will be obvious on a rewatch after some huge reveal... then whatever he's going through has to tie into the supernatural plot in a big way. And, more than that, it needs to be linked to it in a way that is surprising enough/enough of a twist to warrant all this secrecy about it.
AND (and this is a hill I am prepared to die on)... Will and El are both main characters, but so is Mike. The plot would not have started without Will. The plot would not have started without El. But also... the plot would not have started without Mike. Without Mike things are totally different, because whoever found El instead would not have been the exact combination of nurturing and feral that made s1 Mike hide her in his basement/believe her the instant she implied she even maybe knew how to find Will. And that's just the first thing that he did which unquestionably pushed the plot in the direction it's going. There's a reason he shares centre screen with Will at the end of s4 (after El had her extended closeup because I'm sure she's going to continue having her protagonist moment in s5, AS SHE SHOULD). Mike isn't just a love interest. He's a protagonist in his own right-- this is his coming of age story, just as much as it is Will's and El's. And, while it's entirely possible that they might have a plan that includes him being the only one of the trio without any particular personal connection to the supernatural plot, I do think it's worth considering that, just as is the case for Will and El, it's at least possible that Mike might have a plotline outside of his romantic relationships, and that, as the third protagonist/third leg of the protagonist trio... it's at least possible that said plotline might have direct ties to the supernatural A plot.
(Also, yes, the ending shot does also suggest that Hop, Joyce, Nancy, and Jonathan are also protagonists for s5-- I feel like this tracks with their roles in s1, and I fully expect them to play major roles in s5, but if this is actually a coming of age story, then it's the Party who are, really, the ones spending this whole time coming of age. That's why I'm making the distinction.)
I bring all of this up, because I believe that it lends context to why I think it is possible that Eddie's Vecna actually references/foreshadows Mike, in particular's, s5 role.
Mike as Vecna
So, here's the thing. If Mike did create the Upside Down, or at least the shadow monster, then he (or at least his repressed emotions and/or dark thoughts) is an antagonistic force in the show. That doesn't mean he's bad or evil (Will was an antagonistic force in s2, and he's sort of the exact opposite of bad or evil). Meaning that it would make sense to foreshadow him as an antagonist, even if ultimately he is a protagonist/on the side of the rest of the gang.
Returning to what we know about Vecna from the show, I'd like to combine it with some of the common theories/ideas that I've seen floating around regarding Mike's potential plot/future in s5.
First of all, Eddie's Vecna is shown hiding among the cultists. Mike obviously doesn't have a cult, although, if he is (unintentionally) the cause of all the Upside Down business, he is hiding in plain sight, both to the other characters and to the audience.
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^ Bringing back this screenshot for absolutely no reason at all
I would also point out that Mike is the only character, of the viable list (even expanded back out to include Will and El) of those who could even maybe have played the role in creating/influencing the Upside Down, who is also a member of the Hellfire Club. By which I mean, Mike might not actually be in a cult, but Hawkins at large sure thinks he is.
Now, obviously, Mike isn't dead/hasn't been killed by anybody. But everybody is always talking about all of he death flags around Mike coming into s5, and I, at least, am of the opinion that he can't die permanently (for the same reason that Will and El can't perma-die-- all of them are way too self-sacrificial and willing to throw their lives away for everyone else, so killing them would literally just be them... doing what they always do, which is not ideal for a death scene, especially in a show where the death of major characters is used as infrequently as it is in Stranger Things). If he dies and then comes back to life, or at least seems to have died, this might fulfill the "undead" requirement.
Obviously, how the issue of Kas would come up in this storyline, would be much more questionable than in Henry's. If I'm on the right track here, though, I wouldn't really expect us to know at this point, because it would likely come up in s5 anyway. What I will say is that, if I were to speculate about s5... since Mike is the leader of the Party, and Kas was Vecna's lieutenant, if this is the direction they're going, then I would expect one of the Party members (probably not Will or El because I have some... thoughts about them in the context of the Vecna analogy) to play the role. However, I really can't see any of them intentionally killing/betraying Mike, so my best guess is that if this is happening, it's going to be more a thing of Mike self-sacrificing/endangering himself in order to protect one of the Party members, rather than them intentionally/personally striking the blow. That's SUPER speculative, though, and not founded in very much except... Mike's character as a whole. Also, in D&D's lore, all that was left of Vecna after Kas had killed him, besides the Hand and the Eye, was a pile of ashes-- which fits really seamlessly into Mike's narration of his D&D character dying a fiery, self-sacrificial death at the end of Will's campaign.
Eddie's Vecna is a spellcaster/dark wizard, which are terms that would fit anyone, Mike included, in the scenario where they created/significantly influenced the Upside Down/shadow monster.
In terms of Mike's appearance, obviously he does not appear shrivelled and desiccated (though we'll have to see what s5 brings on that front), but I will note that there are a LOT of theories about Mike losing an arm and possibly an eye as well. Additionally, Mike's left eye, in particular, is often shrouded in shadow. I've already written a different post about that, so I won't go too into detail, but you can look at it here.
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^ A sample of some of the left eye shadows
If the theories about Mike creating the Upside Down or at least the shadow monster are accurate, then that fulfills the D&D Vecna's backstory of having built a dark empire before his undeath.
In the context of Mike, I also think it's interesting that one of the things D&D's Vecna is known for is his "dark secrets". Like... I mean, we all know Mike is full of secrets. And it's very likely that they're "dark"-- not necessarily in the way that D&D Vecna's secrets are dark, but more so in the way of, like, mental health issues can be very dark when you're living through them. I mean... Max had "dark secrets" this season, too (though, obviously, totally different in nature and context than Mike's), but the narrative difference (outside of all the cool character stuff they were doing with Max-- this is not a Max post so I won't get too into it, but I just want to make it super clear that Max has a LOT of interesting stuff going on in s4 in her own right) is that those came to light, while Mike's stayed hidden.
Also... okay let me just put this here:
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(Link to the site I got that from is in the Vecna in D&D section)
"The godlike supremacy they crave". Does that... not sound like Henry? I mentioned Henry turning into a Demogorgon back in the Henry as Vecna section of this post, but... I think I'm just saying that it could legitimately be happening? I don't know. Maybe I'm just being overly enticed by the idea of Henry's hubris making him believe that he's the one in control of the Upside Down/the shadow monster/Mind Flayer when, in reality, the truth is that he's simply blinded to what's happening to him by his own arrogance and ambition.
Anyway... finally, I'll point out that D&D's Vecna is also known for his "formidable temper". And, like... I just... okay, so a lot of characters in Stranger Things have tempers and anger issues. But the thing with Mike's is that it's portrayed... kind of differently? Like, if you push Jonathan or Steve hard enough on the right pressure points, they'll snap and physically fight you (we've seen it), and El's basically the same except that she generally has the psychic force to skip the fight and simply toss you aside like a ragdoll. If you push Will or Nancy or Hopper hard enough on the right pressure points, they'll get sarcastic and frustrated and snippy (and depending on who you are, Hopper and maybe also Nancy might also punch you lbr-- here's hoping for Nancy punching someone out in s5). But Mike?
a) Mike's kind of constantly on the verge of getting mad (except, typically, when he's alone with Will and usually also El pre-s4). He's annoyed by everything, prickly towards basically everyone unless he knows them very well, and easily upset if he doesn't get his way/doesn't feel consulted about what's happening. None of which erases his positive qualities, and all of which are explainable, but it's undeniable that there's an angry element to his character.
b) When Mike does actually get properly mad, he shoots to kill. "What is WRONG with you?" "It's not MY fault you don't like girls!" "She didn't LOOK fine...", like. Every season, he says something so harsh it leaves the other person/people speechless. And that's NOT to say that Mike's a bad kid. He's a child who has suffered a lot of trauma, and who was already prone to fits of annoyance before all the bad stuff started happening. Of course he lashes out. AND it does seem like he's making an attempt to improve especially as of s4 (probably because the rain fight really scared him tbh). I'm not saying he's bad, I'm just saying that one of his flaws, which he does seem to be working on, is that he has a tendency to get angry and say things that he might mean in the moment, but which are more hurtful than he wants them to be.
c) I find the scene where Mike breaks down in Hopper's arms in s2 incredibly telling. Obviously, this was Mike under extreme circumstances. I'm not suggesting that level of rage and pain is Mike's typical baseline level. But what I am saying is... that breakdown did not develop overnight. That was something Mike was building towards since s1e1. And then he lets it out with fists and screams and sobs. And then he boxes it away and gets back to plotting how to stop the Mind Flayer and save Will like nothing happened. And nobody brings it up ever again (I mean... let's be honest... the only person who WOULD 100% have brought it up later was passed out in a drug-induced nap at the time, so it's very likely that Will doesn't know about that breakdown... just like he probably doesn't know about the quarry). And just like every other character, Mike keeps getting traumatized on top of all the pain that caused that original breakdown. And...
I don't know. I guess I'm just saying that it's undeniable that Mike has a temper, though he's not the only character who does. And that Mike's inevitable s5 breakdown will probably involve rage as well as tears. Does Mike have a "formidable and hideous temper"? I don't know. I think that sort of depends on who is judging. I am pretty sure that Mike thinks he does, though.
And... lastly... this is just a parallel that I thought was interesting, which probably doesn't mean anything, probably it's just a coincidence, but I'm already deep enough into this analysis that I've lost my mind so...
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^ s1 Mike covers his left eye while indicating/faking a headache
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^ s4 Eddie covers his left eye with an upside down hand to mimic being Vecna
The Eye and Hand of Vecna in This Context
Something that has been bothering me is this:
Mike, Will, and El are obviously paralleled to two trios from other franchises, with Will and El, respectively, as the "head"/primary character in the trio.
They're paralleled to Harry/Ron/Hermione (no, I don't like talking about HP parallels very much because //gestures at everything about JKR with my very trans hands, but I don't think that discomfort on my end negates the obvious parallels), with Will generally functioning as Harry (although I'm aware that Will and Mike get the Ron/Hermione treatment in the airport), with everything to do with his connection with Henry.
They're also paralleled to Luke/Leia/Han, with El generally functioning as Luke.
So, the thing that has been bothering me is: if Mike is just as much a protagonist as Will and El are, and not just a romantic interest for the two of them, why isn't there also a trio in which Mike gets to play the leading role? And, uh... so... I have a thought about that, but it requires me to dig a bit deeper into the lore behind the artifacts left after Kas (nominally) killed Vecna in D&D lore: the Hand and the Eye.
The Hand of Vecna:
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The Eye of Vecna:
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(link to the site where I took these screenshots from is included in the section about Vecna in D&D)
So... if (and I'm very aware that it's a big if) Mike is going to turn out to have been foreshadowed by Eddie's Vecna, then I believe that this is the trio he's at the head of. Vecna/Eye of Vecna/Hand of Vecna, with El as the Hand and Will as the Eye.
I mean, the Hand's thing is strength (El's telekinesis lends strength to her/anybody she is helping use it for-- ie. flipping the car in s3, where flipping it back over requires multiple people and Mike's lever system). It improves attacks during combat (again... El's telekinesis sort of makes her the gang's heavy hitter). It can apparently also freeze creatures (we see El do this at least twice in s1-- she freezes Troy in place after he tries to attack Mike, and freezes the Demogorgon in place when it's trying to attack the Party). And it can be used to cast a number of different spells including Teleport (El can't exactly teleport, but she can use the mind void to travel anywhere a given person is in her mind) and some necromantic spells.
Interestingly, although they're not spells the Hand can provide according to screenshot above, bringing back the dead, like El does to Max at the end of s4, can be done using a necromantic spell in D&D.
And the Eye... I mean. Truesight is right there. But in general, it's a lot about being able to see through just about everything (including time, which is pretty interesting), with fits pretty well with Will as the spy/Will as the sensor of all things Upside Down. The spells it can cast are pretty interesting as well, and do make me wonder if the fact that Will was (or possibly still ever so slightly is?) part of the hivemind might give him some ability to control what the hivemind does? I don't know, but it's a thought.
Also, the effect of using the Eye is really interesting, given the fact that Will was infected by the shadow monster/Mind Flayer right at the moment when he tried to order it to "go away" (failed Dominate Monster?), and then the whole possession got worse/his soul was almost consumed leaving him essentially a puppet under the control of the shadow monster/Mind Flayer after he attempted to spy back (possibly failed Clairvoyance?). Also, fun fact: Disintegrate causes a "thin green ray" to "spring from your finger" in order to turn a target to dust. I can't help but think about Will the Wise's green fireballs.
I don't know… I just think the parallels are worth thinking about.
To be 100% clear, I'm not saying that Will and El's powers/abilities come from Mike (just like in the HP parallel, Will paralleling Harry/the Chosen One doesn't take away from El or Mike's positions as co-protagonists with him, or in the SW parallel, El paralleling Luke doesn't mean that she's the only protagonist/Chosen One in ST). Nor am I suggesting that Mike in any way owns Will or El. I'm only pointing out that there are some striking similarities between their powers/experiences and the effects of Hand and Eye in D&D, so if the theories about Mike creating the Upside Down/shadow monster are correct, then... those similarities are interesting.
(But, hey, I mean, fun fact-- if this is actually the intended read, then all three are paralleling powerful wizards in popular culture, which is fun.)
Also also... something I've always found super weird is that Will's eyes go brown when he's possessed, never black. Which... is odd, because black is traditional for possessions, and it would look more unnatural, it would align more with the shadow monster's colours, and it would be a really clear signal to the audience that there's something wrong with the colour of his eyes because as it stands, unless you already know that Will has hazel eyes, nothing seems off (especially because the characters never mention the change either). I mean, the shadow monster is black/dark grey. Henry's eyes are blue and never go darker than that. But Mike's eyes are just about that same shade of brown that Will's were when they were at their darkest...
I mean, if nothing else, Mike as Vecna and Will and El as the Eye and Hand would explain why Mike keeps losing (being cut off from) both of them.
And, I mean... we all know Will tends to hang out on Mike's left, but so does El (it's just less obvious with El, because she also has a motif of facing Mike head on). Largely (though not always-- if there's a true pattern, I can't tell what it is), when they're not in this alignment is when they're disagreeing/not on the same page/not pretending to be on the same page with Mike. I mean... you know. Something something, Vecna's left hand and left eye?
No, Seriously, Will and El are So Often on Mike's Left
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^ Just a sample of the relevant shots
The Good News
Now that I've gotten through all of this, I do want to say that, even if Eddie's Vecna is foreshadowing something about Mike's role in the supernatural plot of s5, I don't believe they're setting him up to be a true villain. Like... if Mike did actually create the Upside Down/the shadow monster/in some way impact them, I very much do not believe that he is aware of it as of s4, nor do I believe that he would ever intentionally hurt any of the people that the Upside Down has tormented all these years. Well, except himself [gunshot]
Obviously he would be absolutely ripped open if he learned any of what happened was in any way his fault. He'd be absolutely gutted. If you're a "Mike needs to have a sobbing, screaming breakdown in s5" kind of person, man would you get your wish and then some.
My point is, even if they're setting up a twist where Mike('s repressed emotions) have been an antagonistic force all along, I very much do not believe that Mike is being set up as an antagonist, in his own right.
This is where I'm going to bring it back to the fact that we don't actually know what Dustin or Erica were rolling to do. Most likely, in the game itself, they were rolling for various attacks. But we don't hear that. And we don't actually hear Eddie ever say that Vecna was killed, it's just implied from the context of the scene. Which to me means that the ending is not set in even analogous stone. If Vecna does foreshadow Mike's role in the supernatural plot, then all we know is that an Eleven alone can't defeat/solve whatever's going wrong with him, but a twenty (whatever is defined as a twenty) can.
By which I mean, I don't think Mike has to die in the end in order to fit with the analogy.
Also! I think it's really important that Eddie's D&D session is the only one that we see Mike participating in, where he doesn't do any active narrating. Obviously he narrates for the Demogorgon and Thessalhydra campaigns. However, he also takes over narrating for Will's campaign, when he decides to light a fire and sacrifice himself to destroy the Juju hoard.
In Eddie's campaign, though, he follows along. His PC 0's out (which could reference a future physical injury, or an inability on his part to keep fighting for some other reason), and they call a time out to discuss. During that conversation, Dustin specifically asks Mike for his opinion on what they should do (which I have some Thoughts about in the broader context of Dustin's characterization in s4, but those are so wildly outside the bounds of this post-- I'll make a different post later), and Mike really does act like a good leader. He asks Dustin and Erica for context on their HP, and assesses that if they keep fighting it will be difficult, but in the end he tells them that the call is up to them, because their characters are the only ones left on the battle field. That's all he says about the game. And I think the fact that all he says is that the fight will be "difficult" is really good news, because it means that the ending is more open.
Finally, it's possible that if Mike is actually the person being foreshadowed by the use of Vecna in Eddie's campaign, and if Will and El are intentionally paralleled to the Eye and the Hand respectively, then Mike's lost hand/eye signals may not necessarily literally mean that he's going to lose his body parts, but rather that he's going to lose or feel like he's lost both Will and El one more time before everything is over.
The Bad News
IF any of this is correct-- specifically, IF Mike did create the shadow monster or the Upside Down or even just influenced it in some way... even if Henry was somehow exercising power over it to make it more dangerous than necessary... I'm just not convinced that everybody would be able to forgive him.
I mean... Will, obviously would. That's kind of a foregone conclusion, especially since at least in the scenario I'm speculating about, none of what happened would be anything Mike knew he was in any way complicit in until after the fact.
I also think El would probably be able to understand pretty quickly given that she knows what it's like to do something without knowing you can do it, and to have to come to terms with the fact that others have suffered as a result. That being said, if we DO get Mike in the scenario I've been outlining, and then we DON'T get a parallel to the s1 "I'm the monster" "no you're not the monster-- you saved me" scene, except with Mike saying that he's the monster, and El assuring him that he's not because there's no such thing as being a monster or a superhero, but he was her first ever friend so she could never consider him a monster? I'll sue.
A lot of the others I'm way more up in the air about, because I really think it would come down to a lot of context in how it was portrayed, whether the others could manage to get into a somewhat normal groove with him ever again (though I highly doubt they'd have the Party end the show broken up, so I suspect they, at least, would find a way to come to terms with what happened).
But really... it's Nancy that concerns me? In literally any scenario where Mike might have had ANYTHING to do with the Upside Down in any capacity outside of what we've explicitly seen in the show. Whether he knew what he was doing or not. Whether Henry was the one orchestrating things in s1-s4/presumably at least early s5 or not. I just...
I can see a path where she could forgive him, right? Though I'm really worried that's a path where she would forgive him and take all that blame and put it onto herself because he was he little brother and she didn't notice.
But I just... I don't know.
I just know how horribly she's raked herself over the coals over Barb's death ever since s1, and I just worry about whether she would be able to accept that, in the scenario I've been outlining, Mike didn't actually mean to do anything/couldn't actually have stopped it because he didn't know it was happening. Because I suspect that in order for Nancy to get to that place, she'd have to confront the fact that SHE isn't at fault for what happened to Barb, either. That she did not do anything wrong (at least, not wrong enough that she deserves to be still agonizing over it four years later) by telling Barb to go home that night. That there was no way Nancy could have known that something bad was happening to Barb, and that the fact that she didn't stop what was happening BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS ANYTHING FOR HER TO STOP, doesn't mean she's in any way at fault.
And... I REALLY hope we're going to get to see Nancy confronting that head on in s5. But it just.... concerns me in the context of these theories about Mike's potential supernatural role.
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heybabybird · 7 months
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