#I dont speak Mandarin or any other Chinese language so i dont know a lot of accurate news about China

[blueclearcloud]

Reminder that the US very much wants to go to war with China and wants its citizens to want it too. THAT WOULD BE BAD, THESE R REAL PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER THEIR GOVERNMENT LIKE ANY OTHER AVERAGE AMERICAN.

[rongzhi]

Hi! Sorry if you dont answer this kinda question and feel free to delete if you dont wanna answer but how would one go about learning Chinese? Are there any tips or sources you could direct to? I want to surprise my dad one day by learning Chinese since I grew up without learning it (been Americanized 😔) but I have no idea where to start at all. I would greatly appreciate the help if you provide any.

Nonetheless I hope you are well! Love your douyin translations! Thanks! ♡♡♡

I'm not reaaally a good person to ask since I'm not truly actively pursuing language studies. You'd be better off searching up language resources/communities or looking for Chinese langblrs tbh. I think they'll probably have a lot more actual learning resources that you can check out. If you're real serious, I'd look up getting into HSK levels (standardised testing levels basically)

However, my general advice is to probably just immerse yourself more if you're already a little bit familiar with Chinese. It sounds like your parents or at least your dad is Chinese, so you must know a little bit already. I've said as much in previous asks before, but my current Chinese language skills are basically all from just getting more into watching dramas/movies/web videos (like douyins) over the last ~2 years. Personally, my listening skills are still better than speaking/reading, but I used to be practically illiterate and now I can indulge more in my love of reading comment sections and forum drama lol.

There's tons of drama/movie recs out there including from me (check my FAQ/answered asks) so I won't bother with that here.

Everything I link below is just going to be based on my own experience/some resources I use/have used. Idk how helpful it will be to what you're trying to achieve.

If your goal is only to get better at speaking Chinese, I'd say learning songs might help? Or just when you're watching any language videos, repeating things out loud helps. I also just mutter out loud to myself anytime I find myself thinking in Chinese these days, since I don't really talk to anybody but I still want to improve my speaking skills.

Video channels:

The Mandarin Corner - a language youtube channel has varying levels language videos on various topics as well as vocab.

每日中文课Free To Learn is also a nice language youtube channel, though it may be a little bit more intermediate learning. 唐真探【唐唐說-每週更新】- True crime channel in Chinese. If you have interest in true crime, I think watching ones in Chinese are interesting because they offer more diverse case coverage, including cases from China and other Asian countries that you typically just don't find in western true crime channels. Subtitles are in Traditional so if you're like me, you'll probably rely mostly on listening. I think these channels also help me learn some modern vocab. 英大吉來了 - another true crime channel in Chinese. Subtitles are in Traditional. 脑弟说电影 - movie/drama recap channel in Chinese. Subtitles are in Simplified.

Some apps that might be helpful (based on my experience only):

Mobile:

Pleco - a Chinese-English dictionary). I would install a Chinese pinyin keyboard and handwriting keyboard on your phone in order to look up words or phrases. A similiar app I've heard people talk about before is called Anki, I think?

HelloChinese - This can take you up to HSK 4 or something like that for free. It's better than DuoLingo, I hear. I haven't actually used DuoLingo before but I'm told their Chinese program is a little bullshit. I used to use HelloChinese reading/writing practice on and off but since I'm not interested in paying for stuff, I don't really use it anymore. However, I think the practices that are available are pretty good and the example sentences and whatnot actually make sense.

Desktop:

Zhongwen pop-up dictionary - browser extension. This is pretty useful extension that lets you look up words by hovering over them (unless it does that thing where it just tells you to look up a different entry 🙄). When I encounter words I don't know while reading, I'll turn this on.

Yellowbridge - an online Chinese-English dictionary. I honestly just use this to double check brush stroke orders sometimes but it's a good dictionary for desktop.

Again, probably not that helpful but that's all I really have personally!

[st5lker]

heres my sexiest language takes literally nobody asked for but the vyvanse just hit so im gonna share them anyway. also im gay so these are with male speakers in mind

sexiest romance language: latam spanish. if it has to be a european version of the language then french bc spaniard spanish is like nerdy loser sound. while french CAN be a close second just given the amount of throat sounds it never surpasses the sexiness of being spoken to in a deep voice in latam spanish tbh.

sexiest germanic language: german. now this may or may not be controversial but you have to remember that we dont have a lot to work with and it sure as hell isnt english or dutch or ANY scandinavian one. german can definitely be particularly unsexy but i think if you lean into the fantasy of it a bit then you can start to understand the appeal...

sexiest slavic language: POLISH. hands down. sorry i understand the appeal of some others like russian or ukrainian but they all sound very similar to foreign ears and there is just something distinct about polish that hits the ears in just the right way. it can be a sweet caring kind of sexy or it can be intimidating dominant kind of sexy it can be anything you want. completely outsold.

sexiest east+SE asian language: very hard but i think im going to have to go with mandarin+other chinese dialects. now it might be surprising because i speak a little japanese and all of the vocaloid and vkei et cetera but honestly all of that has made it if anything less sexy and more just familiar. sure japanese Can be sexy but weighing it vs chinese... i dont know the soft whispering of names in the tgcf donghua is better than any sexy anime boy voice to me tbh. and also white people ruined it with the ara ara shit.

[uwumessenger]

random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

[sidneypoindexter]

Rating 80′s Smurfs Dubs (based ENTIRELY on their voices for Brainy Smurf and Clumsy Smurf) Best to Worst

note- the different dialects(?) of chinese were originally labeled “chinese 1,” “chinese 2,” and “chinese 3″ because google translate called them all just “chinese.” i had to go on the smurfs wiki and look at what the series was called in other languages and then CTRL+C that, and then go to the channels page of les schtroumpfs youtube (that has the links to all the different language smurfs youtube channels) and CTRL+F CTRL+V. for all three of the chineses. google translate fix your shit so i dont have to do this please. pretty much all the other languages r based on what google translate said they were bc i dont have the energy to do any more of what i just did for chinese.

TL;DR of this post- Top three are Norwegian, English, and Romanian. Bottom three are Danish, Czech, and Latvian. Lots of others in between.

Norwegian (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

brainy adorable and funny, clumsys voice is so cute i want to cry it makes me want to pick him up and give him a littel kiss on the forehead. may be biased by the fact the first episode i watched in this language was "De aller beste smurfevenner" but.... oh my god.

English (Brainy and Clumsy)

classic. iconic. brainy nasally, emotional, and higher than clumsy; clumsy with a southern drawl (although other languages may have accents i just dont notice) and strange cadence.

Romanian (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

clumsy has a "village idiot" voice that has his strange high-low cadence and an adorable laugh, brainy has a nasally tone. this is the most accurate to the english, although romanian clumsy is mostly high pitched and occasionally slips into a low pitch, as opposed to english clumsy who's the other way around.

Taiwanese Mandarin (小聰明 and 小笨蛋)

brainy is a bit lower than i expected, but he sounds bossy and annoying; clumsy has the "village idiot" voice. very good.

Swedish (Glasögonsmurfen and Klunssmurfen)

brainy has the right amount of nasal tone to his and is emotional enough, clumsy lacks an accent but he has a cute laugh and it fits him well.

Portuguese (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

brainy is higher than clumsy and has his nasal tone. i cant really tell what's up with clumsy but its cute. they have just the right amount of emotion.

Croatian (Lumen and Trapavi)

brainy is high pitched and nasally, clumsy has a strange accent, both sound really good

Slovenian (Glavca and Klada)

brainy is high-pitched and nasally, clumsy is low pitched and has a "village idiot" voice. both voices are very good.

Hindi (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

brainy is high pitched and nasally, clumsy is lower pitched and makes his cute and weird little noises.

Hebrew (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

brainy talks super fast and has his nasal tone, clumsy has a low pitch and cute laugh.

Dutch (Brilsmurf and Klungelsmurf)

clumsy is cute and lovable; brainy is too low but is nasally enough. also, interestingly, i could understand a lot of what they were saying in this one, even though i don’t speak dutch.

Vietnamese (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

brainy is only a bit nasally, but he does sound bossy. meanwhile, clumsy is too high pitched, but has a strange cadence (possible accent?) evident even in a language i don't know much about.

Finnish (Välkkysmurffi and Kömpelösmurffi)

brainy sounds good but not annoying enough, clumsy is a bit too high pitched but he has his strange cadence

Arabic (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

brainy sounds generic, but clumsy's low pitch and "village idiot" voice in general make him sound like a non-accented version of his english self. none of this gives off the strange vibes the basque voices do, and this would be rated much higher if it was just clumsy.

Thai (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

brainy is high pitched, fast, and nasally; but clumsy's voice leaves much to be desired.

Putonghua (聪聪 and 笨笨)

brainy sounds like a little girl, and is very clearly voiced by a woman. a woman who does NOT give him a nasally or annoying voice. clumsy, meanwhile, has a very cute and fitting voice, sounding like his korean voice but with a slightly lower pitch and more of his strange cadence.

Polish (Ważniak and Ciamajda)

brainy sounds very good and the perfect amount of nasally, but clumsy is far too high pitched.

Cantonese (智多星 and 論盡仔)

why does this “chinese” dub mostly just have season 9? brainy is high pitched and nasally, but clumsy sounds generic.

Filipino (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

i'm not a fan of brainy's voice here, but he talks super fast, which makes me think of smurfs 2021 and how fast og french brainy talks in that. clumsy's voice is too high pitched, but he has a cute laugh and a strange cadence, and hearing him go "hello!" in english randomly was adorable.

Korean (똘똘이 스머프 and 주책이 스머프)

clumsy sounds adorable and he makes his weird little noises and i wanna hug him, but brainy's equally adorable and high-pitched voice makes it clear this is Just What Korean Smurfs Sound Like. i love it and i love them but they're not different enough to rank any higher. they're only this high bc they sound like little kids and its adorable.

Japanese (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

cute and adorable like korean, but just as generic. also, they only have Season 1, so i dont think the voice actors had gotten into their roles yet.

Greek (Σπιρτούλης and Σκουντούφλης)

brainy is high pitched and nasally, but a bit too high pitched; clumsy sounds strange and silly

German (Schlaubi and Clumsy)

both sound vaguely electronic...i dont think the mics were too good. brainy sounds like some sort of virtual assistant, clumsy seems to have some semblance of an accent and his voice is similar to his english one. this would be close to the top, but the mic quality is too bad.

Bosnian (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

clumsy and brainy sound like themselves but slightly to the left. it's odd.

Brazilian Portuguese (Gênio and Desastrado)

both are strangely high pitched, but brainy has his nasal tone, and clumsy is cute and does have a strange cadence to his voice.

Hungarian (Okoska and Ügyifogyi)

clumsy is too high pitched, brainy feels generic. however clumsy does sound cute.

Spanish (Filósofo and Tontín)

brainy weirdly high pitched, loud and screechy, and sounds like a gay muppet (edit: sounds like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3NStJNUkYo); clumsy lower than brainy and has that nice honey buzz to his voice that he also has in english. the entirety of "El Monstruo De Las Cavernas" can basically be summed up as just brainy screaming "TONTIIIIIIIIINNN!!!" at the top of his lungs and it's hilarious.

Turkish (Gözlüklü and Sakar)

brainy's voice fits very well, and he has his nasal tone; clumsy sounds cute and sweet. but brainy's mic is so much louder than literally ever other character, it sounds like he's screeching everything he says. better fitting than spanish, but ranked lower because spanish is funnier.

Italian (Quattrocchi and Tontolone)

brainy is weirdly high pitched and sounds stereotypical, i have no clue what stereotype my mind is pinning that voice as, but it sounds like it's stereotypically SOMETHING. clumsy is kinda cute but i feel like italian clumsy and italian jokey should have swapped voices. also i wanna say i could not find the smurfette, or king smurf, or my smurfy valentine on this language's account. what i could find was l Mostro Di Cioccolines. having their adaption of the dark ness monster up but none of the other important episodes i was looking for is me-core.

Basque (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

both voices sound vaguely similar to the english versions, but clumsy lacks his strange cadence that he has in english, and basque being a language isolate means its hard to understand what's their voices and what's just the language. i don't know why else i put it this low, there's just some weird vibes that make this sound Wrong to me.

Icelandic (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

both voices sound generic, but clumsy does sound sweet and brainy does sound bossy, so they got at least a bit of the characters' vibes.

Lithuanian (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

this dub sucks but it's hilarious, all the voices are slightly delayed, you hear the english voice start to talk a second or two before the lithuanian one does. however, they did give brainy a nasally voice and clumsy a cute one, so it ranks above the other dubs of this quality

Bulgarian, Russian, Estonian (Russian is Благоразумник and Растяпа)

these dubs fucking suck but its hilarious. all the voices are slightly delayed, you hear the english voice start to talk a second or two before the dub one does. these would be combined with lithuanian, but unfortunately these voices are mediocre.

Catalan (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

brainy mostly fits his character but is a bit too generic and i cant tell if he's nasally or its just the large amount of trilling in the language, clumsy is too high pitched and screechy. good brainy voice but bad clumsy voice

French (à Lunettes and Maladroit)

clumsy is weirdly whiny, brainy is too low and devoid of emotion.

Danish (Brillesmølf and ???) (Clumsy’s Danish name isn’t anywhere on the Smurfs Wiki)

mic quality almost as bad as the germans, clumsy sounds very good and sweet but brainy has some of the worst mic quality in the entire dub. even having both "Mørke-monstret" and "De allerbedste Smølfevenner" on their channel cant save these voices- this was the first time ive willingly stopped watching a version of The Dark-Ness Monster before even getting to the good gay bits of the episode.

Czech (Koumák and Nešika)

both have generic monotone voices and brainy is lower than clumsy. bad.

Latvian (I can’t find these names on the Smurfs Wiki)

the same shitty recording as lithuanian, bulgarian, russian, and estonian. but here it sounds like the same dude is voicing everyone and not even bothering to change his voice a bit. this is the worst smurfs dub.

[baegarrick]

hi hello so i’m coming to you because you’re the only person in the zukka fandom that i’ve seen blogging about the old guard and i love that movie SO MUCH and i can’t stop thinking about immortal zukka..... aang as either nile or andy bc i can’t choose, andy wouldn’t lose her immortality, and no one would betray anyone bc i say so 😌 how do you think an atla/the old guard au would work?? (zukkababey)

ok i rly love the idea of immortal everyone but tbh!!! i really dont know enough about asian history to like... go into detail about this honestly and I really didn’t want to come off as racist by fudging some stuff, but here r some bulletpoints about Things

(also u can slide into my dms 2 talk about this if u want, or if u have a discord, sorry it too so long I literally cant stop writing when I get on Topics. I'm so sorry if this gets off topic)

Sokka & Katara

In this au they’re not biologically related, but are both Inuit

Sokka dies first in a skirmish with another group of indigenous people in northern Canada (Inuit Nunangat) sometime prior to 1800

He knows he died, his people saw him die, and he doesn’t understand what’s happening (I really don’t know enough about the Inuit people to say whether they would have rejected him or tried to help him understand what happened to him)

however, I’d like to think they’d at least tell him to talk to the angakkuq, the shaman, and would probably see this as a positive thing

Eventually his band of people would whittle down to just a dozen or so, after long winters and harsh climates, and they were forced to assimilate with other bands who didn’t have ancestors who were there when Sokka died in the first place, so he has to move on.

He travels around for a while, trading and learning and staying in bands for a few years before moving on to another group, until it’s the 1800s

Around this time, Katara is born (and dies)

She refuses to stand down against a white French hunter who wanted to take one of the young women in her village as a wife, and she’s killed, and the woman is taken anyway.

When she wakes up, she’s furious, and before she can understand what happened to her, she finds the man and kills him. She’s arrested and set to be killed when Sokka finds her.

They aren’t biological siblings, but they come from the same people, and the world is changing rapidly and they’re the only people they know who are like this. The idea of marrying Katara is the worst thing that Sokka can think of-- look at her, she’s just a baby!!-- so they call each other siblings and travel together.

Zuko

ok again i know literally 0 things about chinese history like i googled “female chinese warriors” for suki and got like 100 things for mulan

Zuko is old, probably one of the oldest of the (living) group, but younger than Aang

he was the first son of the second son of the emperor in a time of political conflict in China. His father, the prince, was at war with his own brother who Zuko considered a father figure.

zuko speaks out against his father and is killed for being a traitor, but, guess what, he doesn’t die!!! his father does it again for posterity and uhhhhhh still doesn’t die. (or rather, dies, and comes back)

here’s where my uhhhhhh lack of knowledge is Bad

would his father banish him for being cursed? for somehow being against the gods?

or would he force him to fight in his armies, against his uncle, because he can’t die?

I was going to go with “banished” but fighting for decades in a fight he doesn’t want to be in is so! much! worse!

his father wants to know the secrets of his immortality and when he can’t share it he’s tortured and tested for years, and eventually sent out to fight as an immortal soldier who can’t die.

eventually he escapes, and leaves china for a long time (he doesn’t return for centuries)

he is highly distrustful of anyone for years bc of his father!! he wanders around for years like he does in Zuko Alone (or like Quynh before Andy finds her) and while he sees small bits of humanity, he has little faith in it and their wars, because he is Not One Of Them

For money he joins bandit groups or warlords or mercenaries, because why does any of that matter to him? Everyone dies.

Eventually he meets Aang, who is Humanity Personified, and Aang asks him if he thinks they can be friends-- but they’re on opposite sides of this conflict and Zuko is too disillusioned to want that. (they part ways)

He meets a man, Iroh, who reminds him of his uncle. They travel together for far longer than Zuko normally would, because he likes having a father figure, and because Iroh lost a son about Zuko’s age. They travel for years and Zuko never ages, so eventually he has to leave. Iroh finds him a few years later, greyer and slower, but tells Zuko that he knows about Zuko.

Zuko reacts poorly to this, lashing out, but Iroh is calm. Zuko breaks down and tells him he can’t give Iroh what he wants. (what Zuko assumes he wants-- what they all want, immortality)

But Iroh’s like, why would I want that? it sounds like a curse, son. Why would I want to never see my son again?

He tells Zuko: we’re not meant to be alone

After Iroh passes a few years later, he tries to track down Aang but can’t find him. He, however, has dreams about the others.

alternatively///////// japanese zuko?????? RONIN ZUKO???? love it but im too tired to think of More Than That after typing all the chinese zuko stuff up, although im Sure a ton of it would cross over bc im vague as Hell

Aang

he’s the oldest of the group but you wouldn’t know it!!!!

Roku was his mentor, the first immortal that any of them know of. He’s thousands of years old when Aang meets him. (He’s also the first to die. He shows Aang that All Things Must Die)

Aang is Tibetan, a Buddhist monk, one of the earliest, maybe the 7th century?

He dies in a temple fire

here again my complete and utter lack of knowledge is Bad

according to Dzogchen, individuals can transform their body into an immortal rainbow light, so there’s some mention of immortality in certain parts of Tibetan Buddhist culture, but idk how widespread that is since wikipedia didnt even have a source for it

he becomes a missionary and travels around asia for decades before Roku finds him

Roku!!! he’s an Old Immortal, and probably wants to die a little bit at this point, and he eventually does!! but for awhile he and Aang travel around together, and butt heads a bit bc Aang’s pacifist nature, and Roku thinks Aang Will Change as he gets older

aang is absolutely devastated by the Mongol invasion of Tibet in the 13th century

roku dies about a hundred years after he meets aang, and aang travels around a little aimlessly for awhile, learning all kinds of things and befriending people he’ll outlive. it dampens his spirits a bit.

eventually he meets Zuko, who’s far more jaded than Roku was, even, and wants to be friends, but respects Zuko’s decision otherwise.

Eventually, aang travels with the Norse to Canada in the 15th century, but when they leave they don’t take him with them. Instead, he ends up frozen ala steve rogers. Katara and Sokka find him a few hundred years later.

alternatively////// Aang IS the newest kid. he’s the Nile of the group. He’s still a Tibetan monk, and views this as a teaching/learning opportunity. He would also probably like everyone to stop killing each other. Sokka rolls his eyes at him constantly.

Toph

toph is a struggle bc how do you deal with an IMMORTAL BLIND GIRL

I’m gonna stick w her show backstory: rich, blind daughter of a wealthy Chinese family

Is kidnapped and her throat is slit when she’s young (maybe an older teenager) and the kidnappers panic, leaving her body. She’s found, namely unharmed, and resumes life despite the fact she knows she died.

However, being a privileged young girl, she’s kept under watch and it quickly becomes known that she’s immortal.

She’s regarded as a living deity for centuries until she meets Suki, who rescues her from the place and teaches her to fight. (she becomes a myth, later, rather than a historical fact)

alternatively//////// she could have been first generation chinese-american, and therefore the youngest

Suki

Suki was a third generation female warrior of her family who guarded the boarder during the Northern Song Dynasty (960-1127), and trained from a young age in martial arts. (insp by the story of Mu Guiying)

She’s a war orphan, and leads an army of war widows and orphan women, but meets her untimely end with some of her sisters in a reign of arrows. She’s buried by some of her sisters before she wakes up again, and has to claw her way to the surface.

Her sisters don’t know how to react to her (a lot like Nile’s soldiers) so she eventually leaves them.

After her death, she hears rumors of a living goddess (Toph) and goes to see if there really is another person like her, and finds one of the people from her dreams (Toph)

She trains Toph to fight despite her being blind, and the pair become an unusual duo for a couple hundred years.

eventually, they start dreaming about a pair of siblings in the New World (not that new!! people live there!!) and book passage there in the 1800s with the first major wave of Chinese immigration

They dream about each other. it happens a lot at first, but it tapers out over the years. it grows stronger whenever a new one (katara) is born, but Katara and Sokka have NO desire to leave their homeland to go look for these strange people until they find Aang. (what languages might they have in common? russian??? the russians came to settle alaska, I know bc my stepmom is native alaskan and russian--- the Mongols invaded TIbet and Mongolia is right next to Russia, so Aang might know it??)

When they find Aang, Suki and Toph start dreaming of them again, and so does Zuko and they all start making their way to San Francisco. The Chinese wouldn’t arrive in Canada until around the 1850s (according to google) so Sokka probably wouldn’t speak any Chinese (mandarin???? i dont know things), but Zuko might speak some English or Russian. [really just gonna be a bunch of chinese, inuit, and tibetan people speaking russian to each other, isn’t it??]

Aang greets Zuko like an old friend, and Zuko Does Not know what to do with that. he’s skirtish and shy and hasn’t really been around a lot of friendly people. Sokka does NOT trust him. At all!! (he wants Katara to stay FAR AWAY from him. stick with the harmless monk we found at the bottom of a lake, katara.)

They find Suki and Toph in a bar. Toph hustling people for money, and Suki drinking at the bar. It’s very strange to have all of them around, and it’s like, 1830. they all decide they like each other, after they get some good old fashioned stabbing in-- Katara is the only woman Sokka has been around whos like him, and she’s like his little sister, and all he wants to do is Protect Her, so he doesn’t know what to do with women who known knives. (get his ass handed to him, thats what)

I want Zuko to be a broody mess but honestly he’d probably revert back to yelling at people/things in ancient Chinese (mandarin? I’m not really sure what period he’s from exactly). He’s still got that Good streak in him, esp since he’s like, a hundred years off his adopted uncle Iroh.

and you know what? 1830 america is NOT a cool place for anyone!! least of all asian immigrants, native americans, or women of either group

So the Gaang take to helping those people out any way they can. (Aang wants Peace, but you know white people, we don’t listen). They actively get involved in the underground railroad, eventually the civil war, and also helping out native americans, as well as chinese immigrants working on the railroads.

also so sorry I know the ask was about Zukka but I had to write a million words about their backstories first

Zuko + Sokka eventually come to a truce as the only dudes in this entire group who are willing to fight. Sokka is interested in both men and women, but he’s never really shared his life with anyone, and it’s the same for Zuko. Sokka, because he was regarded as an elder with his people, and after that he could only stay a few years. He had lovers, like Yue, but they all eventually died and Sokka couldn’t do anything about it!! Zuko, because while he also had lovers, he couldn’t really bear to be around humanity for a long time after what happened to him. (he’s vehemently opposed to slavery)

I think they get together at first just kind of because there isn’t really anyone else. Suki + Toph are kinda their own thing (are they lovers? sisters in arms? who knows), Katara is like Sokka’s sister (and if Zuko touches her Sokka will end his destiny permanently), and Aang is... aang.

It’s sorta a friends-with-benefits thing, except its an immortal warrior reluctant companions-with-benefits thing because can you really call this a friendship?? (its a family, eventually). Eventually it’s just kind of always been a thing. Sokka checking Zuko first when he comes back to life, counting down the second to make sure Zuko comes back at all. Zuko tells people he’s the only one allowed to kill Sokka, because lets be honest, the first couple of months with rowdy immortals meant killing each other a lot. When Sokka is killed violently in the Civil War, he wakes up half an hour later (slow, slow), to find a field of bodies and Zuko sitting next to him with his dao blades in the dirt, waiting for him. Sokka tries to make a joke, but it just makes Zuko mad, because what if that was the last time. (sokka jokes that he’s young, yet, not like Zuko)

They don’t really talk about it, partially because they don’t live in a world where it’s acceptable. What kind of title fits when you can only use it with 5 other people? But this time, when Zuko was afraid Sokka might not wake up, thirty years after they met, after lifetimes of being alone for both of them?? Sokka has to let Zuko know he loves him. Loves him!!! He’s not just here for the meantime.

thats all I have rn bc its 9pm and I’ve been writing this for like 3 hours. again if u wanna slide into my dms or if u have a discord and wanna talk about this/other stuff hmu. so sorry this got off topic.

also, the order I had them born in is:

roku --> aang --> Zuko --> suki --> toph --> sokka --> Katara

which may or may not be accurate to my timeline lol

Sokka probably speaks all of the Inuit languages, as well as French, English, and Russian, being alive for long enough to learn it all.

Katara refuses to learn French. Hates it. Never wants to learn.

She and Sokka personally keep Inuit traditions and languages alive as elders of their community, though it’s so much harder in modern times to stay connected to their culture bc they don’t age!!

disclaimer: bc the show was written as a complete mashup of several cultures I had to like..... pick where ppl were from. I picked china for Zuko/Suki/Toph bc they have a beautiful culture and a lot of dynasties I have heard a lot about recently while half watching the history channel. I really, really don’t know a lot about non-white culture as a white american from FLORIDA (so like, literally the farthest place you can get from the Inuit people and still be on the same continent). if you know more about these cultures than I do and I said something blatantly wrong pls let me know and I will change it.

[ditchedxxx]

21 questions

I'm late I'm so sorry vslndjwndks.

/////

Nickname: Katie. Sometimes Kates?

Zodiac: I'm not sure if you mean starsign or the chinese year thing, so I'm doing both. I'm a libra, born in the year of the dragon lmao

Height: 4'11 and 3/4 shut up i'm tiny

Last movie I saw: Bleach, the Diamond Dust Rebellion lol. My dad just downloaded it and I had nothing to do so.

Last thing I googled: Uh. A recipe for afritada bc my dad wanted that for dinner.

Favorite musician: ooohhh that's so hard I listen to a lottttt of artists. I think rn the answer is Jojo, because I've loved her music since I was little! Too little too late was my jam as a kid, and god, did I love her newest albums. Oooooh and the updated old ones? The 2018 versions of leave (get out) and too little too late... so good.

Hm. I gotta add tho bc Sara Bareilles and Michelle Branch are right up there with her. 3 year old me could sing Michelle Branch's Breathe, and i still throw it on when i feel senti. Sara bareilles music makes me feel soooo much and i love her.

Song stuck in my head: Ghost of You by 5SOS. It inspired an angsty fic that I'm gonna plot tonight, and probably shelve for future use after I finish my zine piece and my other chapterfics.

My other blogs: oof okay. @apieceforthewrongpuzzle is my studyblr. I don't use it much and mostly reblog, just for resources and helpful tips. @themundanebeautyproj was for a school assignment and I haven't deleted it bc i use it to save posts i want to find easily since i dont use it as often-- ergo, less reblogged shit to scroll through. And @haikyuutales-a-collection is the blog for my haikyuu folktales zine! I'm currently taking a short break from the PR since I don't have discord access, but follow that blog if you wanna be updated about the zine's progress and see sneakpeeks and stuff later on in the creation process!

Do I get asks: I've had a few. Some on anon, most from friends. I wouldn't mind more though!

Following: uhhhhhhh 524...? Whoops

Followers: 80! Wow that's a lot. Thanks guys!

Amount of sleep: usually 8-10? All i know is almost always, regardless of what time i fall asleep, i wake up around 9ish. Recently, anyway.

Lucky number: i've always really liked 7.

What I'm wearing: an "okay? Okay." Shirt that has two sad little cuts in the bottom left from who knows where and black and green sports shorts-- yknow, the weird holey ones.

Dream job: teaching, or something involving museums or libraries. Editing would be nice too.

Dream trip: honestly? Anywhere. I'd love to visit more asian countries tho, especially japan and korea!

Favorite food: bacon or chocolate! Also rice. Fuck yeah rice is great

Play any instruments: i briefly tried to learn guitar but soon gave up. So no. I sing tho.

Languages: English is my mother tongue, obviously, it's what I grew up speaking, but I have a pretty decent grasp of Filipino (mostly comprehension, my grammar is shit). I also know very very basic Mandarin. Not a lot. Briefly tried to use duolingo for french so i have a smattering of vocab in that language. I also once had a phase where i tried russian. I remember like. 2 phrases and nothing of the alphabet. Uh. I know some ASL? Like. 5-10 signs and fingerspelling only tho.

Favorite songs: ..... don't ask me this. I listen to a Lot

Random facts:

I'm Catholic, but not super devout

I sometimes write poetry

You can't see them unless you're rightttt up in my face, but i have some freckles on my nose and cheeks. They're hidden by my dark-ish skin tho.

I like to lick my lollipops slow and whatever idk, and i only eat orange ones

I studied STEM in my last 2 years of hs and hated it, my whole class knew I should've gone humanities bc that's where my passion was

I discovered I liked writing in 7th grade a week after I turned down an invitation from the writing club to join the invitational science club instead. I didn't have much fun. (Seems like foreshadowing....)

I was once in the top 24 students for math in my grade level-- out of 280 students give or take. Only for 4th and 5th grade tho.

Uh. My SAT score was 1440?

Lol they're all acads related bc i went to visit my old school today and have no idea what else to say.

Bonus-- describe yourself as aesthetic things: polaroids and old letters, open notebooks and fountain pens, calligraphy inks in bottles lined up on shelves. Sunsets through windows and a girl with her arms spread wide in the rain. Also fairy lights and lanterns. A single knife blade. Headphones.

Okay! Tagging is hard. I tag!!! @mooifyourecows @sugaandyams @i-am-a-bit-of-a-crank @rootnjoons @lovetinted @cheetahleopard @tentaclebubbles @tendous-satoris @that-one-guy-in-naruto @onceabluemoonwrites @tottwriter @raincloud10 @satans-little-rabbit @cathxstra @glitch-writes @icannotbebotheredanymore @kenmagoesblep @cubistemoji andddd idk im out of ideas for who to tag wow ok.

Just do it if you want!!!!

[i-am-total-sketch]

Two Night Stand

I Made a Wattpad

Chapter 1:The ex who fucked it up

Chapter 2: Not Quite Stranger Danger

Spring semester Junior Year, things were looking up. 

I had spent the fall abroad, in a dream location. Learning a second language and getting closer to the other people in my major. I had been a dream and I was afraid it would end in the spring. But being on campus again was no refreshing. My ex was abroad in the spring semester so i wouldn't have to be fake polite. I was still ashamed to be thinking about him but after having not been laid since then, so of course he would pop into my mind. All I had to do was think about how he would only tell me he loved me when he was drunk and instantly any positive memories would dissolve. I had started focusing more on diversifying my studies. Taking more liberal arts to balance out my science classes and it made me a happier person.

I had new friends from going abroad and a semester of positive experiences to hold me over. I was learning to love myself again. And it was smooth sailing.

In the middle of the semester, like most undergraduate locations, there was a concert. I was excited to go with friends and experience all kinds of recreational drugs that had been on my bucket list. I was and always will be a goody two shoes so this was my chance to be bad. I'm the kid you invited to your events so your parents will give you the okay to go. I'm the friend your mom low key compares you to when she gets mad. But I'm also the boring friend. This was me trying to get out of my shell. Springfest would be my one day to be wild.

I straightened my hair, taking hours and gallons of heat protectant. It wasn't perfectly straight, but as straight as you could get natural hair at 350 degrees on a flat iron. I put it in two flat braids, hoping to put a kink in it, before slapping on sweats and running to my friend's house to morning fun. I could hear music blasting from the frats on the main road, and was glad that my group of friends lived in student housing a distance away. I walked to the second building in my complex and waited for my friend Ling to show up. She had gone abroad with me and we had gotten a lot closer. We were meeting up early to help our friend Derek set up for his all day pregame. Ling was super straight laced, this wasn't her usual scene, but Derek had lured her in with promises of making bubble tea. So here we were knocking on Derek's door at 10 AM on a saturday. We knocked for several minutes, no noise on the other side.

"Do you think he's asleep?" I asked.

"He better not be, i was promised tea!" Ling was only 5 ft tall but super feisty when it came to food and drinks. She continued to pound on the door. "Derek, those bubbles better be fresh!"

Suddenly the door opened. Derek was still half asleep. Oversized tee shirt, boxer briefs, long black hair half in his face. He had one eye open as if the other was still trying to get some sleep. Honestly, he was beautiful. If I hadn't been here before I honestly would have mistaken my friend for a girl. "Derek, you look like a princess" shouted Ling.

He nodded and opened the door the rest of the way, letting us in as we chatted loudly about nothing in particular. "Oh, my friend is sleeping on the couch" Derek added nonchalantly.

I turned my head and there on the couch was a man with his jacket strewn over his face, fully dressed, passed out on the tiny dorm room couch. Dennis continued down the hallway back into his room, to get ready for the day, leaving me and Ling with this stranger.

I turned to Ling. "dare desu ka? (who is this)"

"Shiranai yo( i dont know)" was her reply. Thank god we had taken classes in this so we could gossip in peace.

Ling was chinese american, and so was Derek. I was too stupid to learn Mandarin so I had chosen Japanese instead. After combing through the weebs and the fetishizers, there were a few cool people left in the department, Ling and Derek being two of them. And since I coudn't speak mandarin or shangai-nese or fuzhou-nese, Japanese was the gossip language of choice.

"Chugokugo ga wakaru kana?(I wonder if he speaks chinese too) "

"Hontou ni ki ni shinai, demo kore ha chotto okashii to omou. Doushiste kare ha so-fa de neteiru? Okite! (I dont really care, but i think this is a little strange. Why is he sleeping on the sofa. Wake up!)"

We continued to chat and giggle, until Derek came back out in his usual baggy attire. We made out bubble tea and chatted loudly some more, the stranger on the couch shifting.

Finally I was nosy enough to ask. "Hey Derek, Who's your friend here and does he speak japanese too?"

The friend finally sat up. Ripping the jacket off his face. "Oh my god you guys are honestly so fucking loud. And why would I speak Japanese, I'm fucking korean"

I turned slowly, and our eyes met. His were hazel and still sleep deprived. His eyes had to be the only outstanding feature on him because the rest of this guy was entirely average. "Hey, who are you yelling at," I retorted. "And look, the rest of us here speak japanese so it wasn't a ridiculous question!" The answer didn't seem to soothe his feelings and he continued to sleepily glare.

"oi , kono yatsu (look at this asshole)" I said to Ling, and she began to laugh.

"Hey, at least talk about me in english!" I looked back up at the stranger.

"Well who the fuck am I talking about right now, I don't even know your name?"

"It's Cavan."

"Well, nice to meet you Cavan"

Derek suddenly whipped out a deck of cards. He nodded his head towards his friend. "I think we should play, and invite him too," said Derek

So Ling and I grabbed our luke warm bubble tea glasses and shuffled over to the generic living room set that matched the set I had in my apartment two buildings over. "Move over, you're taking up too much room."

Derek and Ling had taken the two single armchairs leaving Cavan and I to share the loveseat. He seemed annoyed at the idea of moving and grunted before making space for me.

Derek and Ling looked at each other. It was about to be a long day.

[rqs902]

28 questions tag

rules: answer the following questions and then tag twenty people!

tagged by: @ziyanqyanq, @caixukunkun, @youchengcheng, @tanqram, @youzhangpang, and @princeruibin i love yall so much ❤❤❤ im sorry im so slow at doing these ;;;

nicknames: annie

zodiac sign: gemini

height: 168 cm

age: 21

time: 9:07pm

favorite bands/artists: I’ll just pick a few?? Idol Producer - Tangram/TRAINEE18, MR-X, Nine Percent, NEX7, 朱星杰, 錢正昊. kpop - seventeen, DAY6

song stuck in my head: ALIVE - Qian Zhenghao!!!! (it just came out, pls support, its a real bop!!) 

last movie i saw: Incredibles 2 (yesssssss)

last thing i googled: “how to cook zongzi” - okAY DONT LAUGH AT ME BUT i havent had one in sooo long and i saw them at the chinese grocery store today and i was like omg i want one!!!! but i didnt know how to cook it (my mom usually steams it in the rice cooker but the directions on the zongzi said to boil it in water or microwave??? I just boiled it in the end lol but also i specifically went out of my way to go to the chinese grocery store today to buy 芝麻糊 bc i ran out but i still love lu dinghao so im still gonna buy more??? I thought this would be a phase and it’d pass but im still very much in love??? 

other blogs: nope! too lazy to have more than one lol

do i get asks: rather often! but i always wonder if its just the same anon or if its multiple.... pls feel free to just dm me instead bc itd be easier to talk that way! 

why i chose this username: uhhh nongnong snatched me from ep 1 and i havent been able to look back since??? idol producer changed my entire life but i wouldnt have started watching without nongnong so i am loyal to my precious child. Also “nongnong” is being used already lolool

following: 51 (lol i dont follow that many i guess??? but this is actually a huge increase for me, i used to only follow like 20 people LOL)

average amount of sleep: 7!! i try to get 7 a day 

lucky number: 17

what i’m wearing: tshirt and joggers

dream job: something where i’ll feel fulfilled and proud of what I do. 

dream trip: a trip to taiwan! also throughout southeast asia

favorite food: beef noodle soup, bubble tea

play any instruments: piano, used to play french horn and flute (last weekend i actually tried to play Mercury Records on the piano bc Dinghao!! one day ill learn Rock the Show too :))) 

play any sports: i used to dance

hair color: dark brown that fades into light brown bc im trying to grow my natural hair color back LOL but i actually really like my current hair :))) 

eye color: dark brown

most iconic song: 蔡旻佑 (Evan Yo) - 我可以

languages i speak/am learning: english, mandarin

favorite songs: my first instinct was to just go to my playlist and see what my most played songs are: 1. U&I - MR-X (231 plays - lol omg i didnt even realize ive listened to it so much but it was literally the first song that got released after ip so i played it on repeat for days, missing ip), 2. Rock the Show - TRAINEE18 (166 plays), 3. Don’t Wanna Cry - Seventeen (147 plays), 4. ZIGZAG - MR-X (147 plays), 5. Firewalking - Idol Producer (144 plays)

random fact: i am currently eating popcorn??? OH my friend who just started watching idol producer (shes on ep 2) says rn she likes mavericks, banana, gramarie, oaca and yuehua already???? and im like wowoowow you have more favs than i did when i first watched LOOL she liked a lot of them!! my other friend whos currently on like ep 6 likes yanjun, ziyi and xukun hahahhhahaha (im like wow how can you already pick out the winners ???)

describe yourself as aesthetic things: the sky at sunset, fireworks

i tag: @huangjstn, @bufanzi, @itsfanchengcheng, @zhengnongs, @idolprod, @ruibinbin

[springblush]

get to know me tag!

tagged by: @playfuldisaster @xuxiboss @taeyoming love you all <3

nickname: none [other than my viet name khánh linh] i hate nicknames (but not pet names)

gender: female

zodiac: libra, monkey height: 5′0″ (?) age: no you can ask me later favorite bands / solo artists: wanna one, the boyz, nct, loona, red velvet, iu, iz*one, jbj, any produce groups/soloists/duos song stuck in my head: usually its kiss later - yeojin, but earlier it was dunk shot - nct dream aND I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT TRIGGER THE FEVER SOUNDED LIKE BUT I KEPT HEARING DUNK SHOT >:( last movie i saw: i, robot which was actually pretty good and i like it a lot other blogs: yup! @hopesdreamsandalatte do I get asks: nope! just the ones from my lovely mutuals why I choose my username: i was iNSPIRED by my baby chick who deserves all of the love and uwus in the world, yoo seonho, and his debut song maybe spring following: 80 average amount of sleep:  1-6 hours as of lately T^T lucky number: 3, 7, and 10!  what I am wearing: a black spaghetti strapped floral dress with a sweetheart neckline (sorry lmao i was into fashion before kpop) dream job: a happy job (something i would be happy with doing) dream trip: ASIA! i’d love to go back to vietnam, and i also want to visit china, taiwan, korea (ofc), japan, thailand, and the philippines

favorite food: vietnamese food is god-tier fite me on that, i only really like asian foods bc im picky but i like pizza, ice cream, sweet stuff play any instruments: yep! piano and flute favorite song: i have too many so i dont have one play any sports: i used to do taekwondo (태권도) which is where i started learning korean  hair color: dark brown but i have lighter brown highlights 

eye color: dark brown [yES im boringggg] most iconic song: idk??? atm for nct = the 7th sense, for w1 = energetic, for the boyz = giddy up languages you speak/ learning: i speak vietnamese and english, learning: korean and chinese (mandarin), on my to learn list: cantonese, japanese, thai, italian, french, and spanish random fact: i have a twin sister  describe yourself as aesthetic things: what is an aesthetic tho..... ok i’ll try, uhh soft mornings with golden light streaming through the windows, wearing a cute pastel outfit, drinking strawberry milk outside when it’s sunny, late nights cuddling in bed, bright neon lights when it’s dark at night, stars and cold breezes, hugs and flowers and love....ok im done i know i failed

im too lazy i’ll tag people later :))))))))

[jewel-s-blog]

about me + bias list

 hi there, I’m jewel :)

she/her/hers ・ 20 ・ kpop (writing) blog

Yes, Jewel is my real name although my parents admit I was supposed to be named elizabeth but changed their minds last minute after I was born how cute and I’m currently in university. I study political science and japanese for those wondering (because yes, I am japanese and it’s helpful when you live in hawaii to have that degree yk?). If any of this stuff is even mildly interesting and you have any curiosities, pls feel free to ask me!

I try to write some things when I can, so feel free to take a look at my masterlist. I also read A LOT of fics on this site, so also peep my recs if you feel like it. Warning: its mostly fluff and angst and almost always includes smut but there’s some really good stuff worth reading still! 

Feel free to talk to me :) i don’t have any kpop friends irl :( all my friends are locals smh 

I try my hardest to be active as much as possible but it’s taken me over a year to finally get used to tumblr lol marklee and i both struggle with complex technology i guess Of course, there are times when I get busy with college and will probably seem to drop off the face of the planet exam season kills but now that I’ve been in quarantine for a month, I figured now is the best time to start building an active tumblr routine. 

That’s all for now! Keep reading below for my bias list :)

xoxo, jewel <3

Bias List 

Before I begin, I will warn that this is basically a giant NCT shxtpost. With LOTS of hyperlinks for educational purposes and absolute crackhead-ery. I’ll eventually make a separate list for other groups I stan, but this blog is mainly NCT and this is already so long so I’ll leave it as this. Enjoy!

Biases are bolded in the beginning of each unit, so you can skip everything after if you don’t wanna see my ramblings following it.

A/N: After biasing nearly every member in NCT/WayV I’ve settled for now on my biases for each unit. This will most likely rotate fairly regularly as I literally fall in love with a different member every day cited here. solo stan? I don’t know her.

ULT

Jaehyun  *ahem excuse me i mean* 

Johnny Suh, it’s official. Don’t know how to explain, but I love everything about him. In the end, it’s always him. damn i sound like y/n thoughts but istg it’s true From SM Rookies to NCT Life to MV behinds, he’s the one. But I’ve also come to realize that I find myself most relatable to him as a person and I think that’s why no one else can trump him wow narcissist much jewel It’s kind of just my gut feeling. It also helps that hes the fluffiest tall, muscular tight booty hottie on the planet. See this black on black dance practice for further scientific explanation even in this jaehyun trying to wreck me so badddddd

Not gonna lie, I HAD IT BAD FOR MARK LEE still do and yet Johnny overcame that. If mark lee were my first love, johnny is my soulmate.

UPDATE! 

Lee Jeno has officially been added to the ult list. *See the entirety of my april activity on my sns accounts if you would like to see how this happened haha :)

NCT U  

im in love with him bc he literally reminds me of my boyfriend -- i like chill guys ok

Taeil is my little teddy bear who looks great in red hair and has a voice form heaven. Evidence? Here you go. He didn’t stand out to me much in the beginning because I was either deaf or blind but after Chain, the game was OVER. +moon taeil in shorts?? serve them thighs honey. Love you bebe tomato <3

BUT Doyoung is the #1 bias wrecker here because have you seen his cover of beautiful on masked singer?? have you?? if not, let me educate you. Also his collab with Sejeong?? Literally the cutest MV ever, perfect for Christmas, listened to it every year since it’s release.

Listen to Coming Home - NCT U for further scientific evidence that NCT has top vocals in the kpop industry.

NCT 127

THE Jung Jaehyun. For reasons that need no explanation. but ill give it anyway smh

After watching the performance of herin and jaehyun singing a whole new world I knew that was it for me. (I still watch it once a month for my jaehyun-related health and to honor SM’s biggest loss, seo herin and ji hansol but thats for another conversation) back to jaehyun His vocals are unique in NCT and bring a nice color to their songs, the man looks good in literally anything, and I’ll probably say this about every member, but I love his dance style--body rolls for days sis. Definitely my ideal type, which my boyfriend is 100% aware of; no secrets in my relationship ofc which explains the wreckage. Pretty sure 81% of the fandom gets wrecked by him daily, so I think I’ll stop here. 

NCT Dream 

Renjun.  why? i just think he’s neat but no really, it was this performance (ok actually this got me ALL SORTS OF WRECKED) and this fancam that had me falling in love with him but were gonna ignore the fact that I get bias wrecked DAILY by all the other members  GOd-tier vocals, personality for daysssssss, variety KING HUANG RENJUN. Safe to claim that I go into renjun feels about 3x a week. Check my twitter for proof. +dnyl renjun was a blessing and I sometimes cant believe that it actually happened. How do I explain?? He’s literally the best boy, but when he gets all worked up....let’s stop there before I have to go to confession again.

But for fun, lets list why I have biased every dream member at some point shall we? (in no particular order) Dream might just be my ult group, songs always bop, members at star quality 

mark- yes i am including mark bc he was the reason i even started stanning dream dreamies leader since mmc days, mentor, A1 rap skills, ad libs go crazy, unparalleled dancing style, hardest worker, cutest watermelon advocate ever, all around amazing person can you tell he used to be my ult? + he’s a good christian boy and my catholic *ss has to confess my sins for being a simp for him 24/7

chenle- vocal GOD, most steady live vocals in kpop, laugh to die for

jeno- i cannot resist his eye smile i wanna cuddle and onstage charisma-2:54 “let’s goooooo” and i alskfdfjlkdldkfa. 

jaemin- “other than my members, i don’t have any friends” and yet he’s literally the most caring and wonderful little puff in existence fight me pls dont im a pacifist 

heachan- idk why but donghyukie feels like he could be my best friend and also cant stop staring at him in their dance practices his body proportions are unreal and his vocal ad libs?? don’t even get me STARTED on heachans vocals

jisung- he is my son, but also my son’s vocals?? MWAH that voice got me second guessing if he’s really my son 

WayV 

Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul another member where it kinda just....happened? In the end I was like “damn, when did you sneaky bugger get in my heart?” He’s got a similar vibe as Johnny AND DO NOT COME FOR MY THROAT FOR SAYING THAT THATS MY OPINION Like Johnny, I see myself in Ten. There are so many reasons why I love Ten, so I’ll make it simple and provide them to you. 

Reason 1 - Performance/dance  he just hit different, he’s THAT good. Reason 2 - vocals the amount his vocals has improved?? UNMATCHED. Reason 3 - INTELLECTUAL (still trying to find the clip of him talking about different kinds of love) Reason 4 - multi-lingual KING ok so this vid is him struggling in mandarin, but imagine, you speak thai and english and learn korean to debut and all of a sudden your agency says “ok learn chinese now.” MANDARIN IS ONE OF THE HARDEST LANGUAGES TO LEARN. Reason 5 - bad b*tch he just radiates bad bitxh energy in everything he does, and I appreciate a bad bitxh

BUT I love wayv’s chaotic energy and chemistry so much that I literally love them all dreamies watch out 

+special shoutout to xiaojuns vocals in Love Talk

+kun being a dimpled zaddy (jaehyun&kun type CONFIRMED)

+lucas holding binoculars like THAT @ 1:10

+yangx2 doing THIS (prepare to be blown away)

+hendery being a the best teacher 

+winwin BEING WINWIN THE DANCE GOD 

+winwin AGAIN and with Ten here i don’t even think i have to say that i tweeted about this everyday for a month and im still not over it. This specific dance really allowed winwin to shine even though ten is my bias. It really allowed others to see the fruit of his classical training even in modern dance which he never trained in. Not gonna be repetitive and SCREAM  say that he’s underrated, because we all know that already. Just show winwin some love, ok? thank you.

And so finally, we’ve reached the end. Phew, this took me almost 5 hours to put together because I definitely got carried away. For those who made it all the way to the end, thank you, I love you. It’s so messy and I don’t have the mental capacity to do anymore editing but I hope you got something from this massive post <3 Feel free to let me know what you think! xoxo, jewel

[warmau]

more questions + stuff that arent requests that ive gotten!!!  under the cut so i dont clog the dash~!!!

haha hmm a lot of people ask me about this,,,,but i think its just a matter of like wanting to improve and sort of forcing yourself to sit down and write,,,, like sometimes i dont wanna do it but i know itll help me get better and so i kinda go off that,,,or ill look for inspiration and itll help my motivation!!! reading also makes me really really wanna write so that might help as well ^^ 

thank you for the sweet compliments!!! idk i have always liked writing and i wanna get better so that motivates me to write more and more~~

fldsjgrjg this is a late response but thank you,,,,,(kinda made me think of a cute dad!au seokjin there woo)

omg,,,you’re so sweet thank you!! and yeah i dont read other fics but i know that a lot of aus and writing have mentioned physical attributes that dont fit all people and i know it sucks to read something and try to connect but you cant because the character is so far removed from your own experiences and looks,,,,i hope i can continue to make good content open to everyone!!

I get a lot of double, triple, sometimes ten of the same au request for the same idol so thats one of the reasons,,,,other times someone will ask for an au im not comfortable writing,,,other times its just a lack of motivation. i try to do aus + idols that get most requested since that’s what most people want to see ^^

@narwhait omg thats so sweet,,,ahh thank you so much for enjoying my work it means the world to me!!!

,,,,,omg,,,,corvus amadeus,,,,,he sounds like he’s probably gonna grow up to be a really cool guy LOL

omg,,,,im so happy that my scenarios feel inclusive,,,i always worry about getting super detailed but im overjoyed that you enjoy them!!!!

i get inspiration from a lot of different things,,,,sometimes from real life sometimes from photos or movies or just random ideas i think of on the train haha!! i also write primarily on my computer!!! 

i speak my native language and a couple of others that are close to it!! im currently really interested in turkic languages as well as mandarin but i dont speak any fluently ~ my type??? im not sure if u meant like myer briggs or like in a person but i guess my type is someone who is funny and selfless ^^

i am jinyoung biased ^^

im good!! how are you??

thank you so much!! im glad you like it,,,and i have written for him!! you can find it in /search/hoshi+friends

ahhh i cant believe im on someones favorite list,,,im really thankful!!!!

@ch21n-nu glad to help!! <3333

thanks for the hug ;___;

@blogmarareactions im glad you like them!!!!! it means a lot when people say i get someones personality right~

AHH i hope you’re happy + healthy too thank you so much for such a sweet message ^^

senior year is the best year, but college will be so fun!!!

well,,,he iS technically still sorta a teenage boy so im just trying to get his personality right haha

me: crying rn

UR WELCOME IM FUNNY (sometimes)

my nct bias is sicheng ^^ (no one mention doyoung or taeyong to me)

omg thank you so much!! i really like kihyuns too~

I DO i love them so much,,,,,

be my gf 

sicheng is literally?????? an angel???? tbh he has the most like adorable way of just . existing. how 

i do,,,,,,,,,,i love cnu so Damn Much

si (like the sound in simple) + chung 

probably one of the forest fairy aus!!

ok i used to do it too in high school,,,,,i think teachers are actually pretty appreciative of students that show interested (although their schedules can be hectic so)

,,,,,ok tbh tho writing ten in that au made me want a friend like him haha

thank ahhhh i like making them ^^

if ur a puddle of goo,,,,,how are you going to be able to kiss college bf doyoung??

i buy like everything online LOL i like the usual f21/ bershka/ asos,,,,,sometimes a friend of mine gets me stuff from china,,,,,oh and 66girls!!! i think they’re more reliable than some other korean fashion based stores in terms of sizing 

legible theme, set and clear rules, and to get attention just post!!! post anything you write doesnt matter what group or fandom just,,,get your writing out there!!

im not really into them,,,i should try haha

that’s sooooo cute i want infinity earrings ;;

i listen to instrumentals mostly,,,,some gaming music sometimes

my astro bias would have to be moonbin too!!! as for victon i stan seungsik the most but the rest of the s-line GETS ME 

its random!! i love writing taehyung and bambam. recently i have loved writing for ten too!!

WOO IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU~!! that seems like such a feat, i hope its the best experience!! tell me about it some time ^^ 

im guessing you mean rumor? i did!

i dont read fics, im sorry!

my mood. every day.

STOP ,,,,,, i just,,,,,,love sicheng ok

got7 is a bunch of memes but im p sure mark can clean up well. for nct,,,,,jaehyun

im not!! but i have family that speak mandarin as well as close friends!!! i really like chinese history and myths so im learning more about it on the side ^^ 

it’s not,,,i delete asks all the time out of anxiety

sdlkf it’s my pleasure,,,wanna one!!! im so excited!!!!

idk why but i always have the urge,,,,to make yoongi dark,,,,give him something fiery and strong ,,,,,,i should stop LOL

<333333 lets love jin together

me listening to the whole nct mini album: pain

omg,,,,,,,thats so cute and ur right jonghyun is TOO POWERFUL

there are aLOT because i listen to a ton of girl groups,,,,,like a lot,,,,,,like every one that i can find LOL there isn’t a girl group out there that has no songs for me not to like,,,,,,,,im super excited for idol school and for the debut of doyeon + yoojung in weki meki!!!!! loona’s project,,,,gfriends comeback,,,,,secret,,,,S N S D, apparently bulldok???? idk i love all the girls,,,,,,

as for boy groups i listen to 2pm, infinite, bigbang,,,,rookies like sf9, up10tion, victon,,,, and rookie rookies like mvp, seven o’clock, and varsity. 

thank u kiss kiss

let’s do it, come over 

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

IM LOVE U SO MUCH WTDF I LVOE U UU 

uhhhh me too omg i want them all to wear bellbottoms ): jin would look like such a meal

woah,,,,,,,,,,wild i also have an idol thats 100% similar to my birthday and i cry. i Cry 

[language-obsession]

In Canto how widespread is this "lazy sounds"/懶音 phenomenon & what's your opinion on it e.g. Letting it just happen or trying to "correct" it? I've heard things like "nobody ever says 我 as ngo or 五 as ng anymore" but idk

AHAAAAAA this is a REALLY REALLY good ask !!!!!! I’ve gotten into some heated discussions with Cantonese speakers about “懶音” but as a (baby) descriptive linguist I just sit back and enjoy the show tbh. Humans have been complaining about the deterioration of human language since the beginning of human history, this is nothing new or special LOL. The change is actually very exciting, because it is a fairly recent shift, with a huge wave of pronunciation differences happening sometime after World War 2. Of course, sound shifts, like any other language shift, happen in layers over time, so the majority of speakers who have merged certain sounds together are still within the younger generation. Also, maybe you’d find it interesting to note that an earlier change occurred sometime in the 1800′s to early 1900′s, where sibilants got depalatalized in words like 張, 昌, 傷, in contrast to its non-palatal counterparts 將, 搶, 相; a distinction that still exists in many Northern Mandarin varieties (the classic zh/z, sh/s, ch/c), but in modern HK Cantonese we would pronounce the sets 張/將, 昌/搶, 傷/相 as zoeng1, coeng1 and soeng1 respectively, with no clear distinction within each set. (although some non-HK varieties have maintained the distinctions - older GZ generations still keep some distinctions I believe, but the younger GZ generation would speak similarly to people in HK)

My speech actually has most of the sound changes, because when I was younger I tried to imitate a HK accent in an attempt to make myself sound more native, so the way my brain interpreted “more HK sounding” was to adapt as many of these sound changes as possible LOL (oddly enough, before I even knew “懶音” was a thing). For example, I do find myself:

deleting ng initials a lot while also adding them where they weren’t originally (愛 oi > ngoi, 眼 ngaan > aan, 銀 ngan > an) 

I have the gwo > go, kwo > ko shift (過 gwo > go, 國 gwok > gok)

sometimes i mix up final k/t (like in 特別 dak bit > dat?k? bit or 突然 dat jin > dak jin - funnily enough, i struggled for a second when i typed out 突然 just now in jyutping lollllll)

and i also have the classic n > l merger (你 nei > lei，奶 naai > laai，男 naam > laam) 

The one change that I don’t find myself doing too much is the final ng > n merger, although I’ve heard this particularly in stereotypical 港女 speech (靚 leng > len, 橙色 caang sik > caan sik/sek, 正 zeng > zen).

One “argument” against sound change in Cantonese that I’ve heard time and time again is that we are going against what the Qieyun or Guangyun rime dictionaries have written down, since we’re losing sound distinctions. and for some highly prescriptivist Cantonese linguists, this is extremely disastrous, because once the change has occurred and a large population of people have adapted to the change, it’s very very difficult to change back the way millions of people speak. But of course, I see absolutely no problem with that, because Sinitic varieties have been changing for THOUSANDS of years. The Qieyun and Guangyun were written in 600 AD AND 1000 AD RESPECTIVELY, why are we prescribing how people should be speaking based off of thousand year old records? That being said, the Qieyun/Guangyun dictionaries are EXTREMELY EXTREMELY important in learning about Chinese phonology and to Sinitic linguistics in general, but I think it’s problematic to assume that somehow we are magically going to maintain all sound distinctions with no losses. That’s why I roll my eyes when I see Youtube videos about 粵語正讀 like “pls spare me from ur overly prescriptivist ways i do nut need u to tell me how to do the spek”

On a relevant note, if Old Chinese had never lost its derivational affixes, the Chinese varieties MIGHT (key word: MIGHT) not even have developed tones, although ofc it would be 100% impossible for a language to remain completely frozen in time for thousands of years, especially if people were actively using it on a daily basis. As well, ever since the rime dictionaries were written down, we have been merging a lot of initial consonants, and we actually lost the entire voiced consonant set in some Sinitic varieties (we have no b, d, g initial consonants in Cantonese OR Mandarin, contrary to popular belief - shocking, I know - although there’s still b, d, and g in Taiwanese Hokkien and Shanghainese for example). Some people act as if the “懶音” of today are some kind of new event started by the Youth of Today™ but it’s been happening since the time of Confucius and even way before that. Humans generally use language creatively and efficiently: we may shorten things, simplify articulation, introduce new sounds, mix things up, etc etc., and that’s all a natural part of language development, which is why old Cantonese linguists who can’t get over these so called “懶音” drain the life out of me LOL ;;; 

I assume you’re a Canto speaker as well, so next time someone tells you to stop speaking with lazy sounds, you can rant about natural language change hahahahhaa 

This is more of an afterthought actually, but some non-HK varieties of Cantonese have already undergone initial ng- dropping and certain vowel changes, even faster than some of the changes in HK and GZ Cantonese !!! On the other hand, some other Guangdong varieties have maintained a lot of sounds (even sounds that we don’t pronounce in HK/GZ Cantonese anymore). Like in 中山 and 珠海 Cantonese, they still pronounce words like 魚，驗，研，語 with an ng- initial (which is actually closer to the reconstructed Middle Chinese pronunciations), even though we’ve reduced it to a y- initial in HK/GZ Cantonese, although no one would even try to argue that /ŋ-/ > /j-/ is a detrimental sound change to Cantonese.

tl;dr - im hella salty about extreme cantonese prescriptivists and i’m excited to be part of a modern sound change !!! speak however you want bc it literally doesn’t matter !!! language is cool and dont be afraid to embrace change !!! 

Edit: I have been informed that TW Hokkien does not have a d-initial I AM A GOOF, I should’ve double checked that oop. Thanks @bessely for pointing that out though!! (Also YES I WAS GONNA MENTION THE HAKKA STUFF TOO but I don’t know enough about it to talk about it confidently hehe)

[samanthasroberts]

‘I know their vital stats, their romantic histories’: how Sunderland AFC saved me

For this Chinese Jewish Texan, England was a difficult place to feel at home. But all that changed when she discovered football

Thats shite, man! the man behind screams. The discontent in the crowd is reaching a critical mass. Useless twats, snarls a father below, opening a packet of crisps for his nine-year-old son.

I stand frozen, wrapped up in a scarf and down jacket. Who are we yelling at? Why are we so angry?

Its Boxing Day 2012 and Im at the Stadium of Light in Sunderland for my first ever football match. Its freezing cold; it begins to rain. And then it happens. A Sunderland player fires a shot that creeps past the Manchester City goalkeeper and into the bottom corner of the net. The stadium thunders as a sea of 46,000 bodies fall over each other, total strangers hugging their neighbours, while simultaneously jumping up and down. The man next to me screams so loudly in my ear that Im momentarily deaf. Then he turns me towards him, grabs my shoulders, locks eyes with me and shakes my body. Ahhhhhhhhhh! he screams, in happiness and disbelief.

Ahhhhhhh! I scream back, in fear.

***

When I moved to London, I got a job as a junior editor on a luxury lifestyle website. The site was run by a flamboyant man from Croydon named Carlos, with coiffed salt and pepper hair. Never one to pass up an opportunity to show off, Carlos liked to introduce me to visiting VIPs as our New Yorker who speaks fluent Mandarin and went to Harvard.

None of these things was true. I grew up in a small town in Texas: Amarillo. For some reason, Carlos didnt think this as impressive as being from New York (despite Amarillo being the helium capital of the world and the home of Tony Christies sweet Marie). As for fluent in Mandarin, my dad is Chinese, but I speak only broken Mandarin after living and working in Beijing for a few years. I didnt go to Harvard I was rejected but I did go to a university an hour away. None of these things made sense to Carlos, so he went with his own version.

My exchanges with Carlos were stilted. Our interactions ended in awkward silences. He was twice my age and we had nothing in common. But he was well known in London media circles and I was desperate to get him on side.

After Beijing, I assumed it would be a breeze to assimilate in a country where I no longer faced a language barrier. In China, I had spent a good amount of time miming my interactions. I also had to get used to Beijing locals asking me how much money I made, or telling me I was looking fatter than usual. But it was a bluntness I came to embrace: at least I knew where I stood.

Not so in London. The city was so rife with passive aggression that I didnt know when people were being rude or kind. A woman thanked me on the train for moving my bag and I was almost certain what she was really saying was too fucking right. A man squeezed by me on the escalator and the pitch of his seemingly polite May I? was so snide, it nearly brought me to tears. Carlos asked me if I want to do something for him at work and I wasnt sure if it was an order, a helpful suggestion or sarcasm. The words themselves were unfailingly polite, but it was all in the tone. Other Americans I knew suffered the same way. I genuinely dont know if my colleagues are making fun of me or being nice, a friend from Chicago confessed one night over drinks.

London can be a tough city for newcomers to crack. Compared with the US, people prefer to keep to themselves, especially in public. Im shy, so this was wonderful at first. No one approaches you to chat. I once fell in a crowded street in broad daylight and began the, Im fine, Im fine, honestly protest. But no one had stopped. I lay on the ground, impressed with peoples dedication to not getting involved with strangers. I began to think that I might never find a way to break through the famous British reserve. Would I ever find common ground with Carlos? If only there was some magic key.

And then one day, I witnessed a man bite another man on live TV. This happened during a football match that was on in a pub I happened to be in. I was immediately intrigued: by the biting, the drama, the getting caught, the primal emotion of the incident. I didnt realise it at the time, but this was it: my in.

On a bus, I sat with a couple of friends who were discussing live scores; soon, the entire upper deck had joined the conversation. It was like a portal to another dimension in which everyone was chatty, friendly and open on public transport.

Football was everywhere, it turned out. Once I noticed this, I began to absorb football facts, though only certain things stuck. I loved it when footballers cried. Maybe it was the persistent myth of the stiff upper lip but seeing a player moved to tears, to me, showed he cared more than anyone else. It wasnt like watching an actor pretend to tear up. This shit was real.

I loved any sort of drama on and off the pitch. Family tensions, love problems, scandals, shoving matches; before long, I became a reliable source of useless, soap opera-esque information about players.

I also became a fervent Sunderland supporter. Why would a Chinese girl from Texas living in Highbury, north London, become a Sunderland supporter? Because I had married one. Ian, born and bred in Sunderland, talked about his teams players as if they were his family. That made them my family, too. I knew their names, their shirt numbers, their vital stats, their romantic histories. I was also a natural fit for Sunderland because I love an underdog and by God, I had chosen the underdog of underdogs. The big clubs, with their expensive superstars, were boring to me. Our wins were rare, but they were so much sweeter for it.

I watched televised matches, sometimes without Ian if he was busy or out of town, something that had my friends and family baffled. During visits home to Texas, Ian and I zealously woke early to catch the Sunderland game. My father would observe me, puzzled. My mother, who is Jewish, was also bewildered but said, Well, you were the most athletic of our family of klutzes. It was my childhood best friend Jori who called me out. We were in a Waffle House diner surrounded by grassy plains. I asked Ian if he knew how Sunderlands relegation rivals had fared in their six-pointer, when she interrupted me. Are you talking about British soccer? Who are you? I told her the truth: Im just a girl, standing in front of the TV, hoping a footballer scores a winning goal in the last minute of a high-stakes match and then weeps about it.

A young fan lets rip as Sunderland take on Man United. Photograph: Getty

Do you know who really liked football? Carlos. We soon developed a rapport. Every Monday, hed rush to my desk and wed discuss the weekends matches. He was obsessed with playing style, formations and league tables. Meanwhile, I was the expert on the fights, the crying and the hissy fits. Suddenly, we were friends. He wasnt just my scary boss who got annoyed that I didnt know who Lynyrd Skynyrd were. We were bonding.

They say that to assimilate in a foreign country, you have to speak the language, and now I finally did. Did I make friends from learning about football? I would go out on a limb and say that yes, I did. I made friends with Dave at the Three store when I sat there for two hours after accidentally flushing my phone down the toilet. I bonded with a Ghanaian driver as we discussed a former Sunderland player from his country. In a hotel in the Lake District, there was a communication breakdown with a concierge that ended happily when we both agreed that Diego Costa was a jerk and Jermain Defoe a great goal scorer. When cab rides were too silent, no problem. Lets talk about the match, driver.

***

Dinner in the north-east of England is different from dinner in Texas. Here the food is cooked well-done, the weather is colder and greyer, the company more polite, the table quieter.

Ians dad, brother and uncles are lifelong Sunderland season ticket holders. Ask them a question about what they want to eat, or their favourite movie, or their preference for boxers or briefs, and they will reply, Im easy. Suggest that Jack Rodwell is a decent footballer and they are unleashed animated, passionate, opinionated. I enjoy bantering with Ians brother and dad about football, but we argue a lot mostly because there is one thing I havent been able to wrap my head around since my first game.

After that first Boxing Day match, on the walk from the Stadium of Light to the car with Ian, his dad, his uncle and his brother, I ask the question thats on my mind.

Why do we yell mean things at our own players?

Silence. And then: They just didnt show up. For most of the match, they were bloody awful, Ian says. Good use of we, though, he adds.

But shouldnt we be supporting them? Encouraging them?

Ian shakes his head and sighs.

You know, like being positive and lifting them up? I was still trying to make sense of why 46,000 people would call themselves supporters when they gave the most vitriolic, abusive commentary on their own players. Their support was downright terrifying.

This was your first match, Jess. Weve suffered years of pain while watching players go through the motions. Ive been enduring this for 25 years, Ian says. Twenty-six years, Ians older brother says. His dad: Try 60 years. And finally, I understand the British subtext: You are a wide-eyed idiot.

You got me into this: Jess with her husband, Ian. Photograph: Pal Hansen for the Guardian

At my high school in Texas, there was a club called Senior Spirits. Senior Spirit members met to boost the egos of our sports teams and rally other students to support those teams. To quote from the yearbook, their mission was to make posters and give our school spirit. In the photo, a group of 20 girls wearing matching T-shirts and ponytails, grin at the camera, 100% heartfelt.

These werent cheerleaders. And they werent affiliated with the Steppers, the ultra-serious dancers who performed at pep rallies, the hour-long ceremonies dedicated to whipping up school spirit. Nor were they the student marching band that played during football matches to help stoke, yes, even more team spirit. Team spirit was like an elusive ghost permeating the school and we all had to worship it.

That spirit was partial to posters with marker pen and glitter, to ponytails, to cakes shaped like American footballs and prayers before the big game. It revelled in exclamation marks. It did not like folded arms and booing and sarcasm. It did not like being called a useless twat.

Apparently team spirit isnt a thing in north-east England. So how do English secondary schools pump up their sports teams? I imagine the halls of these schools are lined with posters of a different sort: You better not screw this up, Jones! and Dont do any of that long-ball shit, Gibbons.

I still struggle with this complete inversion, but it unlocked something core in the English mentality how ingrained the cynicism is, as well as the tendency to proceed from a position of cautious defeat. Expect to lose so it hurts less when it happens, and if we win, no harm done.

Diehard football fans remain sceptical of me. At matches, I ask questions. I get looks when I yell cheerful encouragement. I cant stop shouting, At least you tried! every time a player takes a shot but fails to score. Some have the gall to question my passion for football until I do well at the pub quiz football round. If you love something, does it matter if you love it for all the wrong reasons? Apparently, to them, yes. But one thing was for sure: I was emotionally committed.

In May 2016, at the end of that years season, Sunderland were on the brink of doom, as we are every year. Hundreds of fans gathered at the Old Red Lion in Angel, north London, for one of the last matches of the season. I am 5ft 2in, so I left Ian and his friends and waded through Mackems to get to a good vantage point to watch the match. We were playing Everton, and this would seal everything: would we stay up and relegate bitter rivals Newcastle in the process?

Awaydays at the Drayton Park pub in north London, before taking on Arsenal at the Emirates. Photograph: Pal Hansen for the Guardian

The first time we scored, someones pint of beer, spilt in jubilant joy and shock, doused my head. On the second goal, the shouts were deafening. On the third, a man threw his arms around me and together we jumped up and down and screamed with pure joy. I left the pub dazed, half-deaf, hair soaked in booze and my face aching from smiling.

I became a UK citizen last year. At a city town hall, I swore my allegiance to the Queen and stumbled through the national anthem with 17 other newly minted UK citizens. But that moment didnt come close to the buoyant feeling of pure joy and belonging I felt in the arms of a stranger as we celebrated the victory of our beloved team. If the root of football passion is said to be a sense of family and place, then this Chinese Jewish Texan has found her new home.

Unfortunately, that home is sometimes a den of pain and despair. By the time you read this, we will have played three Championship matches in the new season. Ian assures me we will not have won one: Sunderland havent won a league game in August or September for four years in a row.

In April this year, we were finally relegated from the Premier League with four matches left to play.

Useless losers! I yell at the players as Sunderland fail to score even one goal. Its all over. Nothing to hope for now, no Match Of The Day to look forward to.

As I shout at the players, Ian pats me hard on the back. Well done, he says. I look at him, confused. Now you know what it feels like to hate your own team.

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/17/i-know-their-vital-stats-their-romantic-histories-how-sunderland-afc-saved-me/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/09/17/i-know-their-vital-stats-their-romantic-histories-how-sunderland-afc-saved-me/