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#I drew the background myself this time lolol
takidarminato · 10 months
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the-mehlwurm · 9 months
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POSTING SONE SKETCHES I MADE FROM LIKE 8TH TO 11TH GRADE BEACAHSE THIS YEAR I AM GOING TO FINISH SCHOOL YAYAY AND MAYBE SOMETIMES ADDI G A LITTLE CONTEXT BECAUSE ITS FUN IDK
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HOW I DREW MYSELF IN 8TH(?) GRADE (LOVE THE DATH NOTE AHIRT TGAT LOOKS LIKE A BADLY DRAWN SONIC OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT) ALSO I GET WHY THE 5TH GRADERS CALLED ME EMO
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OF VOURSE THE BNHA AND DANGANRONPA FANART LMAO
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DYED STREAK OF HAIR LETSGOO (ALSO PROBABLY 8TH GRADE BECAISE I REMEMBER THE BACKGROUND BEING SUPPOSED THE COUCH CUSHION I GOT WHEN MY ROOM WAS RENOVATED WHICH WAS MIDDLE OF 7TH GRADE SO IDK)
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FISH BOWL IG
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CONPMETELY DYED BLONDE HAIR AND FLANEL SHIRT SLAY
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NOT A SCHOOL SKETCH BUT IN THE SAME FOLDER. MUSTVE BEEN LIKE 2020? MAYBE 2021? PROBABLY LISTENED TO MCR WHILE SOLVING(?) THE SUDOKU
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SHORTLY AFYER THAT I SHAVED MY HEAD FOR THE FIRST TIME YAYAY
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EMO EMU THAT I GLUED ON A PRESENTATION POSTER (DONT KNOW WHAT THEYRE CALLED IN ENGLISH SORRY) ABOUT AUSTRALIA BECAUSE I AM LITERALLY THE FJNNIEST PERSON EVER
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A GERARD WAY I DREW ON THE BACKSIDE OF THE NOTES FOR THE INTRO OF WTTBP THAT MY SISTER WROTE DOWN FOR ME TO LEARN LOLOL I REMEMBER BEING SO UNHAPPY WITH THIS ONE BUT I DONT THINK IT LOOKS THAT BAD RN (BUT I AM A LITTLE TIPSY AND TIRED SO WHI TF KNOWS)
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MOUTHS I HAD TO DRAW FOR ART CLASS AND I REMEMBER BEING LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE WHO DID THIS TASK
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FIRST DRAWING OF MYSELF WIRH SHAVED HAIR,.SO PROBABLY BEGINNING OF 2022
THOSE ARE THE DRAWINGS FROM MY FORAT FOLDER, GONNA POAT THE REST EITHER NOW OR TOMORROW LOL
Also sorry for any typing mistakes and shit but i can't be arsed to correct anything and only, like, 1 person will see this anyway and i don't even know if they'll read through all this, but if you are: HI:D SORRY AND THANKS IG LOVE YOU
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mothergayselle · 3 years
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I Said... Hold Still // Obey Me // MC x Lucifer
rating: t words: 3.5k summary: takes place during the furry event, MC does the boys’ makeup for the video but takes *special care* with lucifer’s
xxx
“Stop squirming, Levi. You’re going to smear everything and then I’m going to get mad.”
Leviathan blushed, visibly racked with the desire to fidget in the chair. “I can’t help it,” he said, crossing and uncrossing his ankles, which clunked into hers. “You’re so close to my face.”
A scoff audibly sounded off in the background, and the unmistakable tenor of Mammon’s voice filled the dining room. 
“Yeah. A little too close, eh? Back off, Levi!”
Freya sighed. As long as Levi’s face was scrunched with annoyance, it’d be impossible to apply any more makeup to it. She paused, her hand a patient dove hovering in the air, coasting, while Levi replied.
“I’m not doing anything! You back off, stupid scumbag!”
“Hey! Ya gotta stop callin’ me that! Or else!”
“Or else, what? What are you going to do to me?”
The demon-princes were scattered throughout the entirety of the ornate, elaborate dining room, yet the collective sigh uttered by every mouth was a palpable hurricane churning in the air above them. A violent, fiery blush creeped into Levi’s neck, and Freya stilled her hand once more as he ducked his head in embarrassment.
She had to force herself not to sigh herself. “Relax, Levi. I’m not going to attack you.”
“Yes, hun, but that he wishes you would is the point,” said a voice from the opposite corner. A slash of daylight pierced through the window in front of him, illuminating the slender curve of his body. Even in that ridiculous costume. Asmodeus.
“If you know what I mean,” he finished. Freya didn’t have to look to know he was probably winking at them. The sunlight did nothing to illuminate the dripping sin of his voice.
Freya ignored the fresh wave of blood washing over Levi’s face, deepening the red even further. All that was needed was a quick blending of the brow-powder, and he’d be done, though if these idiots kept on rambling she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to get him to hold still.
Even now, he seemed to vibrate in place, although he managed to keep himself in place enough to refrain from fidgeting. Freya worked as fast as possible, working as casually as she could without smudging the lines. If they could keep their mouths shut for once in their goddamn life--
“If what you mean is kissing, then yes. We do get what you mean. Levi, at least attempt to not think about it.”
xxx
read on AO3
xxx
…..
SATAN, you motherFU--
“No one is kissin’ ANYONE, do ya hear me!?”
“Oo-oh, how scandalous!! I want to see someone kiss!”
“Okay, tell me I didn’t wake up from a nap just to hear about Freya kissing someone!”
“Relax, Belphie. No one is kissing.”
“Ya damn straight, no one is kissing. Not ever! If Freya is kissin’ anyone it’s gonna be m--”
“Me! It’d be me! After all, who wouldn’t want to kiss me?”
“Enough.”
As Lucifer silenced the room, Freya shot Satan a glare, who returned the gesture with a grin so warm you’d never know how on purpose that truly was. What an arsonist. Truly. It was practically art.
The dining room was momentarily cast in shadow -- Freya looked beyond a mortified Levi to see a thick wall of cloud oozing across the sky. A frown tugged the corners of her lips down.
“All right, you lot,” said Lucifer. His voice crawled into the spaces around them like congealed molasses. “Clear out. Diavolo wants to start shooting as soon as possible.”
The most awkward of silences left the dining room charged and heavy, and all but Levi and Lucifer started towards the main hall.
Meanwhile, Freya wanted to be conscientious of his personal boundaries -- as he so often said he didn’t like to be touched -- but Freya wasn’t just about to let Levi leave after that. 
“Hey, look up for me one more time before you go.”
She and Lucifer made zero comments about how dark his skin had become in embarrassment -- magenta would be too fitting for comfort. Freya, in her peripherals, saw how Lucifer pretended to preen himself in a corner away from them, adjusting and then readjusting his feline costume so it couldn’t possibly fall any straighter or more crisp on the lines of his body.
Levi complied, absolutely rock-frozen as he titled his eyes to the ceiling. Even the inner workings of his jaw were inert with strain. 
“Did you know,” Freya began, dabbing ice-silver highlighter to his waterline, “That giraffes throw up on a regular basis?”
She was momentarily met with silence as Levi made himself unclench his teeth. “Giraffes?”
“Mhm. An animal in the human realm. Really long neck. Think of a horse with a snake-neck.”
“Whoa. That sounds like a final boss or something. If their neck is so long, how do they not suffocate then?” 
It was working -- his skin was clearing of blush, returning to a lovely cream-shade which she always thought brought out the gold in his eyes so well. Freya, in an effort to dispel some of his shame, didn’t meet his eyes when they gazed at her out of curiosity. She prodded the outside corner of his eye with the same highlighter, tapping the glimmer into place.
“Well… that’s what I wanted to know, so I researched it for awhile. They have a bunch of spaces in their stomach so as they digest food, they puke it up into their mouth and then eat it all over again. Bizarre, right?”
Levi’s subsequent grin made itself onto her face as well, though she was careful to still avoid his direct gaze. And, was that Lucifer’s cheeks lifted in the over corner over there, or was that her own imagination?
“That sounds like Beel,” he said, beaming at her.
“They were my favorite animal for awhile after that, just because I would always laugh when I thought of it. In an environmental class back home we studied this, and as soon as it was brought up, I just couldn’t stop laughing. I got kicked out of class.”
“OMG,” Levi said. “That is hilarious! LOLOL, like, I totally would’ve lost it too.”
“It’s ridiculous. But it does make me smile, even to this day. Maybe it’ll help you too now.”
Levi’s answer was something soft in his eyes, like a window being opened.
Freya snapped the ridiculously expensive highlighter palette closed, absentmindedly making a note to somehow manipulate Asmo into getting her one just like it. 
She tried to refrain from kissing anyone in the academy but that palette… perhaps kissing was not beneath her after all...
“‘Kay. You’re good to go!”
The clogged energy tangibly evaporated as they both righted themselves in the chairs, widening the amount of space between them. Levi didn’t look fully recovered -- his movements were a little too fast, a bit too premature. 
However, as he stood up to join the others, the dread from earlier wasn’t etched onto the crevices of his face, and he smiled before heading out the door.
“Thanks, Freya! Seriously.” He dashed through the entryway, the joyful spring under his feet practically palpable.
The next breath was drawn in through the nose. Freya turned to the impromptu makeup station Asmodeus had set up for her earlier in the morning once more.
“Okay, lurker,” she called out. “Sit your butt down before I decide I don’t want to do this anymore and set fire to the building so Diavolo will send me away.”
The waxed, polished, impeccable hardwood floors clapped his shoes in greeting with every intentional footfall. Even from the side while she retrieved more eyeshadow, she could see the grimace on his mouth. He was staring straight through her.
“Not funny.”
Freya couldn’t help but grin as she swiveled the chair to face him.
“It was funny, but we both know you wouldn’t admit it even if you agreed so let’s get to business, shall we?” Freya held up a pen of liquid eyeliner for him to see.
Lucifer made no further comment, but she could’ve sworn his jaw looked like it wanted to come undone in a smile, just for a second. He nodded, burgundy eyes locked onto her face.
“Scoot closer. This always sucks the most.”
When he complied, their legs were utterly entangled, each thigh resting lightly against the other’s. Freya didn’t stop or make a comment -- she knew the rules of the game with him and wasn’t going to lose because of that.
If anything, the contact excited her. She’d be close enough to catch any reaction he made, scrutinize every inch of his visage for a sign of victory. When one edge of his mouth lazily pulled to the side in the faintest smirk she’d ever seen, an impish gesture, she knew he was on the same wavelength.
Freya leaned in, closing the distance between their faces until the warm billows of his breath collided gently over her cheeks.
“Don’t mind me,” she said, bringing a hand to cup the cheek opposite the eye she was going to start on. “I have to steady myself because I had a lot of coffee this morning and I can feel myself about to have a seizure.”
Lucifer did smile at that, and she mirrored him as her fingers slipped through the hair at the back of his head. Silk. Fresh rain. A bubble of clouds. There didn’t seem to be a description accurate enough to articulate the softness of each strand. Her palm came to rest on his jaw.
The dick part of her wanted to ask what kind of conditioner he used, to purposely destroy the playful tension, if only to mitigate the effect the intimacy had on her. It was certainly a go-to, and she had half a mind to blurt it out when his expression suddenly changed.
“That was kind of you,” Lucifer murmured, and she could practically feel the heat of his red gaze wash through her, “What you did for Levi. Comforting him so as to not embarrass him further.”
An unwanted softness expanded in the pit of her belly and her hand momentarily haltered all movement. She drew back to look at him, and felt her waggish expression melt into something more like his own.
Freya’s gaze tugged down at their legs, spidered out in a flamboyant web of limbs. “I’m all for a good roast, but they should be more mindful with how often they pick on him. He already has super bad self-esteem.”
Lucifer grimaced as pain, sympathetic, cracked across her face. “That he does.”
“Makes me want to punch him,” she mumbled, almost inaudibly. Exhaling, Freya lifted the eyeliner pen to Lucifer once more, tracing a thin cat-eye along the edge of his lashes. 
“If he says that he’s too gross to love one more time, I will use our pact to make him do daily affirmations until he stops. I’m not above that.”
It was a while before Lucifer reacted to that, and a few moments of silence soothed the spaces around them. When he seemed to smile, Freya kept wordless and leaned in further, cleaning up the sharp edge of the wing at his eye. If she leaned in any further, her lips would brush across his cheek. Adrenaline flooded her belly.
“Not the worst way to exploit your authority, I suppose.”
“Hell yeah. Call me the demon-whisperer, improving internal dialogue one Avatar at a time.”
She withdrew her hand just in time -- Lucifer’s cheeks avalanched in the expansion of a smile, twisting his mouth until the ivory-white of his teeth was exposed. Another grin, another victory.
“Sounds like quite the endeavor.”
“Quite right, Watson. Okay, done with that,” Freya said, ignoring his momentary confusion and scooting herself back to the pile of makeup. She exchanged the eyeliner for a pastel palette before picking up a small, fluffy brush.
“All Diavolo wanted was a mutuality between species, and here you are trying to rehabilitate the princes of Hell into developing a more healthy sense of self,” he mused. 
Lucifer’s warm eyes lowered and tracked Freya’s movements as she closed in and began dabbing at his eyelids with a pale lavender color, which accentuated the darkness of his burgundy irises so nicely it was obscene.
Did she look as beautiful to him as he did to her?
“Oh, dear,” he chuckled. “Where did you go?”
It was just then that Freya realized she hadn’t been applying the makeup on him so much as she was staring at it.
“What’s wrong? Did the artistry of your own handiwork distract you?” His full lips twisted into a more mocking version of his earlier grin.
“Or is it simply my natural beauty you find so interesting?”
A low, humming laugh churned in the bottom of his throat as Freya’s nose wrinkled itself at him.
“Actually, I was just thinking that if this film wins first place, the entire Devildom will be witness to you and all of your furry glory.”
All of the mirth fled from Lucifer’s face as she spoke. Dark strands of aura collected around the crown of his head before winking out of existence. 
“It’s an exciting thought, right?”
When his eyelids lowered, Freya leaned back in, blending in a blue pastel with the first. The air around him sizzled with tension that dripped off of his body. “As the film stands, there is almost a statistical impossibility that it will win the competition,” he drawled. So confident. 
“So, basically, it’s a non-issue.”
“You really believe Diavolo -- or Barbatos for that matter -- who are obsessed with this project, couldn’t or wouldn’t pull strings in our favor?” The hand on his jaw exploded with invisible flame as she shifted it for no other reason than she wanted to--
Lucifer froze. Freya pretended to be absorbed in her work and readjusted her fingers -- a mere twitch of the extremity -- slipping several of them in the hollow under his ear while anchoring her thumb so that the pad of the fingertip framed the corner of his mouth.
A triumphant fanfare burst in her head. She got him, caught him off-guard. Enchanted him. The world was correct once more.
“Diavolo is a noble man,” she started, sweeping away the fallout with her knuckles. She caressed the soft skin under his eyes gently, with care. “But men like him -- the ones who proclaim to uphold truth and transparency…”
Lucifer did not move, even as she playfully tapped the tip of his nose with the makeup brush.
“Those are the ones you can’t trust.”
A few short moments passed before Lucifer spoke again.
“I don’t know what demons you’ve been hanging around,” he began, leaning forward an inch. “But some of us are perfect gentlemen.” 
He was playing with her. 
Do not look at his lips, do not look at his lips.
The brush in her hand lowered as Freya also leaned in, matching Lucifer’s bluff, and the crimson glow of his eyes was soon all she could see, rather than the eyes themselves.
“I’ve only met one perfect gentleman in my entire life. He was a golden retriever.”
She saw the curve of his eyes when he smirked.
“You clearly need better friends.”
“How fortunate I was kidnapped and brought here, then.”
“How fortunate, indeed.”
“Hey, are you guys going to kiss?”
The shock of the intrusion jolted both Lucifer and Freya, nearly pressing them together, so… maybe?
Lucifer recovered first, smoothly straightening in his chair like a candle wick burning true.
“What do you want, Asmo?”
Of course it was Asmo.
When Freya settled, returning the makeup brush to the tray, she saw Asmodeus hovering in the dining room’s entrance, the gold of his hair casting ethereal arcs of color across the archway.
His eyes were wide with curiosity. “Well, first, I want to see you kiss, but I also came to tell you Diavolo wants to start filming now.” Asmo’s gaze flickered back and forth between them.
“Tell Diavolo we’re on our way,” Lucifer said, saying nothing of the lewd request. After a tense moment and a hard glare, Asmo drifted off, the whites of his eyes revealed in an impressive arc.
“He realizes he can just kiss people, right?”
She couldn’t help but grin at the blank expression coating over Lucifer’s visage.
“He realizes,” Lucifer said. “It seems as if voyeurism is a big interest of his, however.”
Freya accidentally snorted. “I don’t know what isn’t.”
“Manners, perhaps.”
Someone sighed. Freya wasn’t sure if it was her or Lucifer. Eventually, the two shared a glance and his eyebrows rose in question.
“Is my makeup adequate enough for filming?” The brows remained high on his forehead, now teasing more than anything else.
Freya instinctively raked his features, looking for any asymmetrical flaws or lopsided shadow. There was nothing but a fleeting suspicion that it was only Lucifer’s immaculate complexion which completed the makeup, rather than the other way around. He wore the makeup, rather than the makeup highlighting the beauty already there. How ridiculous.
“One more thing, actually.”
The lazy affect warped into confusion, narrowing his features, and then awe, expanding them back again. Freya had darted in the space between their bodies, one finger somehow already dipped into a cherry-colored lip stain, and she began tapping the pigment onto Lucifer’s bottom lip, ignoring the way his mouth parted with shock.
“To match your eyes.”
He remained silent while he composed himself, drawing back his eyebrows and lips to a close. Freya forced her face to remain stoic -- the relish of eliciting these kinds of reactions was a special sort of drug, but to keep him playing along, she had to forfeit a few her victories to soften the blow to his ego. Demon of Pride and all. She was more than happy to keep up with him. Her giant ego demanded it.
As if he could hear her thoughts, Lucifer probed her gaze with his own, scrutinizing the miniscule movements her every facial feature made, but she gave away nothing. He was content to hold still until she was finished with him, smiling politely, the warmth not touching his eyes.
“And none for yourself?” he chirped.
Freya’s gaze darted to the makeup tray at her side, but a warm hand had gripped her chin and forced her head back to Lucifer. A swarm of butterflies awoke in her diaphragm.
“You dote on all of us so much,” he pronounced slowly, casually, bringing his thumb to his mouth. “But it seems as if you are often left wanting, isn’t that right?”
Heat so hot it was ice overturned her nervous system, bringing it to a halt. “It isn’t that bad. Beel buys me food. Asmo gives me clothes. Luke and Barbatos bake me whatever I want.”
Freya frantically attempted to memorize the feeling of his thumb brushing over her lips. Did he feel this tense when she’d done this, like a worn outlet ready to spark? She waited until he was satisfied to speak.
“I’d say I have it pretty good.”
Lucifer smirked, clearly unconvinced. He reached over her, grabbing a wipe from the table and cleaning his hand. Their faces were momentarily close once again, and the cologne from his neck wafted over her skin. So rich, like sandalwood, but faint at the same time. Noncommittal. It was a perfect scent for him.
When his gaze lowered to her mouth and back up again, she thought her form would explode.
“Hm. I’m not sure all of that’s an equal exchange, though.” He stared at her in bewilderment.
“... What?” Suddenly, she was too conscious of herself. Why did he look at her like that? Was he unsatisfied with the color or something?
She heard the roll of his stool before registering he’d placed his palms on her shoulders. They felt like boulders and feathers and as if they should be there all the time, keeping her from floating away in her wild fantasies of abandoning the human world so she could stay there forever. It was just like giraffes. Ridiculous… right?
“Your hair.”
Eh?
Lucifer’s eyes were sure and steady as they raked over her again and again.
“It should be down for the fight scene. When you faint, it should cover your face, create some symbolism there.”
… Interesting. She didn’t know he thought about details like that. Wasn’t this more of Asmo’s territory? Still, Lucifer had a point. She’d only braided that morning because it was convenient, getting too long and too curly for comfort.
“How dramatic,” she replied, chuckling at his sincerity. “You’re right, though. Obscuring the face makes a much bigger statement to the audience. Creates lots of tension.”
Lucifer’s knees knocked against hers, two entities floating alone in the ocean, and he moved his hands to the hair-ties at the end of her french braids. 
They were dexterous, slipping off the rubber and untangling the curls without tugging on a single one. Goosebumps seeped through her skin, giving her a full-body euphoria. 
If she was being honest, even this simple gesture had her feeling pampered, taken care of. It resembled nothing of the food or retail items she was frequently gifted with, although those were of course, appreciated.
No, this was like... communion. A merging of two. Freya found that she couldn’t muster a smirk or a smart-ass retort as Lucifer slipped his fingers through her hair, arranging it in perfect pieces that cascaded over her jaw. She felt she wanted to sleep instead. Take a nap. Fall asleep to the sensation of him there, soothing her into unconsciousness. 
Ah. Any feeling of victory disappeared in an instant. This was too close to real intimacy to be a game.
Lucifer adjusted the curls one final time before gently extracting himself from her space. There wasn’t any trace of mischief on his face either, or deception, or avarice. 
She caught herself absently grooming herself of invisible lint or stray hair in the moments after. It seems as if their communion was finished, and they were to get on with their mission for the day.
“Well,” Freya said, steadily rising to her feet. She extended a hand in his direction. “Ready to go to war over me?”
Lucifer’s subsequent smile radiated mirth. “Of course.” He curled his fingers around her palm and rose to face her.
“I always defend what is mine. To the death.”
An unexpected giggle erupted from him at the shock rapidly freezing her expression.
“I’m joking, Freya. I’m ready. Let’s do it.”
Lucifer jesting? How novel.
With her hand in his, they began making their way out of the dining room. The sun was out -- its light had finally defeated the storm clouds before it.
“Call me Helen, I guess.”
Their voices ricocheted off the elaborate carvings etched into the doorway.
“... You know the story of Troy, ri--”
“--Yes, Freya, I get the referen--”
“--Okay, cool. That would’ve been weird. I hate explaining jokes.”
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madokasoratsugu · 4 years
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therefore you and me post-production notes (or: murphy’s law as a project that has been two years in the making)
ive had this idea for ‘therefore you and me’ and Fritz ever since i first played CindPhenon. nothing ever fell into place until i played Evermore though, so here we are!
drafting this project was pretty easy tbh (see: hubris). the parallel imagery and everything about the lyrics was right up my alley aha.
fun thing with the lyrics: TadanoCo uses ‘要る (iru)’ in the line ‘Which do you want (iru)? Or do you want neither (iranai; aka negative form of ‘iru’)?’
‘ 要る ‘ as a verb can mean ‘to be wanted’ or ‘to be needed’. 
hence, the line can also be read: ‘Which do you need? Or do you need neither?” or any other variation of the verb’s usage. 
it’s halfway through drawing the lineart that murphy’s law began. 1) i drew ~15 panels on the wrong dimensions, and had to redraw them all (lol), re-grey tone (LOL), and re-ink (LOLOL). it was not a fun three days.
then i lost momentum because of lunar new year (happy late lunar new year btw! happy year of the ox :”) )
anyway: the moment i regained momentum for the project again, i hit a roadblock in the form of overconfident, sloppy drafting (see: hubris is my downfall). 
because of the lack of clear drafting for certain panels (and changes to previous panels), i had to redraft two different sections of the PV while keeping in mind that there was the bridge still to be drafted. fun ! 
i decided to simplify the bridge. can you believe it was supposed to be another animation. i can’t. so i scrapped it.
(slight tangent. Evermore’s release honestly cleared up a lot of uncertainty regarding the direction of the PV and whether or not to include Fritz’s mother (who I still fondly call Beatrice). im really happy the PV never came to fruition before Evermore’s release, as im not sure i would have done half as good a job without Evermore’s content.)
back to the hubris of proceeding with a messy draft - there was a lot of push and pull internally for me as to how much i should keep to the original PV and how much i should just put my spin on things. i ended up doing a bit of half-and-half, i think. 
but really, it only delayed things as i ended up redrafting and having multiple drafts of certain panels haha//
the last two choruses were honestly my favourite parts to draw. the shift from Varg’s clothes and colours to Fritz, Fritz’s acceptance of Varg and the soft way Varg looks at Fritz (and no one else). there’s something cathartic about acceptance and acknowledgement. i think that’s what i aimed to really capture.
also: in between drawing all the panels, murphy’s law 2) my Evermore itchio game file ? got deleted off my computer ? 
it’s a very old, barely functional brick so im lowkey unsurprised but at the same time it was a crazy experience and setback when i needed to reference certain scenes. oh, and Steam decided to not download Evermore too. i still haven’t fixed that one. haha. ha.
i have screenshot posters to thank for uploads of certain CGs, although im still pretty sure its best not to post a ton of those publicly at one shot?
also, i had to scrap the recreation of the famous ‘did you love Varg’ scene because of this aha. looking back now, i think it worked out. 
(another tangent: using referencing as an excuse, i actually took the opportunity to replay Fritz’s route for the third time. i ended up checking nothing at all and falling in love with the masquerade scene again.) 
up till the very end, im still not sure if everyone got that the line “You are love itself.” was meant to be said by Lucette to Fritz. i colour-coded Lucette with her own unique blue for the PV, which was the same hue as the line. i hope that it got across, aha.
with that said, video production was a whole entanglement in and of itself. i think murphy’s law really took up a hammer and swung hard at this stage.
timing was actual hell. im usually not this bad at it, but this project in particular was tricky bc TadanoCo uses a lot of background beats that aren’t overt, which his PV also matches - i think? or maybe im just not good at recognising beats from lack of video/music production haha//
hence there were certain scenes i was stuck at and kept revising because i wasnt clear where the beat was meant to be, what transitions i should use, and when the transitions should be.
subtitling was actually really fun! until i rendered my first version and realised all the subtitles were completely off and blurry.
turns out my project properties were different from my video properties, hence the off-alignment. huh. didnt know those were Actual Things(tm). 
also, quick tip to all vid-making amateurs like me out there: you may have to double the dimensions of the font’s media properties if you dont want them to come out fuzzy. another thing i didnt know lol. 
anyway all this lead to: me needing to spend another evening to redo subtitles. haha. it was not a fun two back-to-back 3am nights + extra evening afterward.
in between all this was countless rendering tests to guess-and-check what’s causing numerous errors in the video btw.
and with those rendering tests came: glaring mistakes in the panel art that i only now spotted and had to fix, and refix, and refix again. then reimport into sony vegas, put it into the video, render and double check if it’s alright. rinse and repeat countless times ! haha ! PV making is fun !
i think i nearly redid a certain scene with the exact same panels once. like i said: not a fun two 3am nights.
that said: i dont know how all this technical issues (and more) popped up and were resolved over two 3am nights and one evening. im not about to question it either. 
at this point: panel art - fixed ! subtitling all redone ! render works fine, everything checks out.
i make the mistake of uploading it directly to yt instead of leaving it unlisted first.
murphy’s law 3) when im watching the vid on yt, the yellow parts in the second verse were completely unable to be seen. 
panic put it on unlisted. people are already watching it and leaving (very sweet) comments. panic delete it.
btw if you’re one of the first three commenters reading this: thank you for the quick response !! it means a lot and made me really flustered in a good way :”))
cue me re-colouring those scenes, redo-ing the section and oops, is that a panel in the masquerade scene where Fritz literally is missing his mask ??? 
i think i lost my mind entirely at this point. from then on i was fueled by spite to complete this cursed project.
at thereforeFINAL.mp4, (version five of the full PV, version maybe 10-11 of all the rendered videos, including tests) finally. finally it is done. 
i upload it.
the end !
(except, not really. because here you are at post-production notes detailing the worst luck i’ve ever had with PV making. 
i learnt a lot from this though, and honestly on hindsight i should have learnt all these from my first PV but nothing went wrong at this magnitude so i kinda just...shelved it aha//
but really, im relieved it turned out well, and that i took the time to redo scenes until i was satisfied. for a PV that’s been waiting in the background for two years now, i think this is the least it deserves. 
if the comic about Fritz and Varg (which i referenced in one of the last choruses, i wonder if anyone caught that?) was meant to be a love letter to Fritz’s route, i think this PV ought to be a tribute to the character himself. 
although - hm, this isn’t quite as good a tribute to Fritz as it is to his route, maybe? i don’t know, haha ! maybe it’s just myself wanting to make excuses to create more for him//
i was thinking of continuing on about the PV and it’s significance to Fritz and Varg, but hm. maybe not on this post. maybe some other one, some other time.
but at it’s core, at it’s simplest, most raw - i think i just wanted to explore what it means to Fritz to ‘want’ and to ‘need’ with this PV.
thank you for watching the PV, and thank you for reading this.
- blu.)
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hot-gothics · 7 years
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I am almost an entire month late in doing this, lol, but here it finally is! It's pretty fun to put this all together and see what my focus was for each month~ Thank you all for sticking with me throughout the year and thanks to all the newcomers who've joined me in my journey of art <3 Here's to another great year of art! \o/ I have a lot planned and I'm probably too ambitious, but here we gooooooooOOOOOOOOOOO!! I'm gonna give little blurbs about each month's piece or what I remember going through each month haha, so feel free to read over my ramblings and such >w>
January - 
I chose this piece because of the lighting and the expression. I really liked how the torn down wall turned out behind him and overall this is one of the best completed works of that month. It was a hard choice between this one and one with a sunset behind a female crocodile woman, but I ended up choosing this one for the color in the hair and that it was furry while the other one was a human with crocodile features. (both were not my commissions)
February -
This is probably one of the best pictures I've ever done to be honest haha. I still love the idea of it, the layout, the lighting, ALL of it. I even entered it into a scholarship contest and WON. But the best part of that contest was that it was for my university and this is KIRBY FANART xD that still kills me! haha
March -
Every time that I hang out with my friend :userVibrantEchoes: I end up drawing either Kirby or Pokemon stuff and this piece came from one of my sketches I did while hanging out with her. It was really just something I pulled out of files to work on after completing commissions in a stream but I experimented with lighting and I remember switching between two versions of my preferred art program (because a new update was released that changed nearly everything about the main tools I use) in order to get used to how the new version worked. This was a complete experimentation for all kinds of things but it turned out to be the best piece of the month (in my opinion anyway lol)
April -
Apparently April was when I started to get REALLY into Overwatch, haha. All the work I had available to choose from was Overwatch related and most of those were sketches or colored sketch style comics that I had done at the time. So I went with one of my FAVORITE colored sketch pieces where I had included a big ol' essay about Hanzo and how I adored that character and for what reasons, applying all I'd learned in my psychology classes as well as my own personal experience with depression and loss of family and difficulties with siblings to my claims. Then I tied in how McCree works really well as either a good friend or a lover for him based on their pasts. People seemed to LOVE it too! Though I honestly was expecting some sort of hate for that analysis of him but lots of people commented (this feedback is mostly on tumblr, btw) and messaged me about the analysis or left tags on their reblogs about how they were thinking similar things or that I did really well with it. I love getting feedback on anything, but the sheer amount of it for THIS post... it was amazing and totally worth it.
May -
I shipped a few different pairings from Overwatch >w> Pharmercy is also one of them~ This piece was a pun on how Mercy's line in the game says "healing stream engaged" and I put a ring on her finger and titled it "Healing stream (and healer!) engaged!" ...unfortunately no one commented on that :'c
June -
This is around the time that I started switching from drawing BnF artwork to drawing furry art almost exclusively. I had been MAJORLY involved with the BnF roleplay community there for a while and did a lot of work for people on that site between doing my own roleplays. This was done for a dear friend of mine from that site of one of his new characters. Tagging on from the Pharmercy piece in May - I had become really drawn to doing a glow effect for some reason and wanted to do some sort of magic piece. So this one came about. The character himself was a mimic octopus, hence the designs on his skin and the almost tentacle texture to his hair. 
July
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In July I spent a LOT of time sketching and doodling furry stuff so I didn't really have any "fully finished" things to choose from for this month. After attending Texas Furry Fiesta in March I wanted to get more involved with the furry community but I didn't know how. I downloaded Telegram and tried talking with the artists/friends I had met at the convention but nothing was really sticking with me because I barely knew anyone local. But July was when I found out about the local Texas chats and started attending furmeets and events, made friends, etc. I started making LOTS of stickers for myself of my brand new fursona design to use in the chats (after years of having two separate sonas I combined the species into one that feels like ME rather than characters). Overall it's been a fantastic experience and I've made SO MANY new friends in the local furry community, it's great. BUT! Splatoon 2 had also come out and I discovered Marina because of one of my new furry friends who was/is obsessed with Splatoon and fell in love with her design >w> so I did a little bit of fanart for her during this month~
August -
The last month before school starting up was also the last time that I drew the kemono design of Dimitri with his BnF boyfriend Onnen the elk. At this point I had fully decided that I was moving on from BnF to get more involved with the furry community and I had mostly stopped drawing Overwatch fanart all the time too. I believe my computer was broken at some point and the game had to be deleted, the drive wiped and such. I lost a lot of files that I had been working on... but I didn't re-install the game and ended up not playing anymore because school started up at the end of the month and it was my last semester so I had some pretty big classes that needed my attention more. 
September -
I'm really amazed that I had next to NOTHING for this month to choose from. All I had done in September was school work, some Telegram stickers, and maybe some sketches here and there. So what I chose for this month is an example of one of my favorite stickers that I had completed during the month (for Siber) and one of my projects during that month was to use Adobe Illustrator and design a sign or logo then use the laser cutters at the school to both do etching and cutting. And I redesigned my logo from about a year before and included elements that are super important to me (bunny and dragon, since I'm a dragunny, and the star since my last name is Starr). I also created my own font for the actual letters in my username too, which got me big points in my critique in class. It totally went to my head when everyone in there was just blown away with my design of it x3 I was struttin' the rest of the day~
October - 
This piece is super emotional for me. As some of you may be aware; I lost my dad a few years ago. For some reason the thought came to mind that when/if I get married I'm not going to have my dad around to dance with me during the traditional father-daughter dance and then I tried to remember if he and I had EVER done that together and I'm pretty sure we never did. Maybe when I was very very young, but I don't remember ever going to anything like a "father-daughter dance". So... this is a drawing of a moment that will never happen. Also - my dad's fursona is a lion with a "chipped" afro, by the way. He loved the character I designed for him too x3 It's just kind of hard to see that in this drawing since it's cropped and he's mostly behind my sona's head
November - 
I didn't have much to choose from for this month as I was still super busy with school, but this is when I started getting back into traditional art and began making badges for people~ One of my first commissioned traditional badges was for a local fur and I really like how it came out :3c so that's the one I chose to represent this month! \o/
December - 
Another piece with Siber here, haha. But this one had a bunch of elements in it that I really enjoyed doing. There's the "magic" effect with the music around him, the color scheme is super wintery, there's foreground and background elements that I think really make the picture work well, and I really just like this picture haha. I think it's a strong representation of my styles mixed together since all I'd drawn of him up until this point was stickers so I was pretty set into a certain way of drawing this character. But this turned out really well and I just really like it haha
Boy that was a lot of blurbing >-> lolol Thanks for reading if you did! I'd love to read your comments on what month is your favorite or if you had a piece from last year that is definitely one of YOUR favorites that I didn't include (I'm super interested in that actually, please let me know lol) Do you think I chose good work for this? :3c Do you think I over-explained my own reasons behind choosing these? lol Lemme know what you think in the tags or comments or through my inbox! \o/  I DO definitely read all of that ~ ❤❤❤ And thank you again for following me ❤❤❤
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