#I enjoyed this one so I'm really hoping it avoids internet drama

[anniflamma]

This isn't a question, but rather a love letter to your art<3.

Thanks to you, I've started enjoying Greek mythology and the Bible again (I mean from a point of artistic, mythological, historical, and theological analysis; my status with any kind of religion is being agnostic XD).

And I already enjoyed Epic the Musical, but I really love the designs you make, how you empathize with the symbolism and lore of the Gods when designing them, and how you make Odysseus so human with his crude expressions that makes me empathize with him (And he's one of the characters I hated the most from Greek mythology lol)

And then there’s your art about the bible, I have to admit that I tend to avoid the biblical religion because of the weight it still has on our daily lives, the damage it has done from the past to this day, and how they deny it with current hypocrisy (I live in Spain, there the official religion is catholic), but your lgbt drawings have really encouraged me to open the bible and see it from an objective and neutral point of view, and just enjoy it as another book and not as something I’m forced to follow.

Also I didn’t know there was so much LGBT content in the bible XD Seriously, thank you so much, if you had a patreon, I would pay you for the amount of happiness and culture you have given me (^///^)

By the way, reading your posts I found out that you recently experienced an internet drama that has become so popular lately. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that both you and that poor artist had to go through this, that human hypocrisy has no limits or shame, and that I agree with everything you say. Just because we like a character or an author doesn't mean we agree with their crimes or ideologies.

I hope you have a nice day<3

Hi! I’m sorry it took me a while to respond! I mean it, I’ve read this over and over, and it makes me so happy. I’ve been thinking about how to respond, but sometimes it's hard to get it out into words.

It makes me so happy that my biggest interests make others interested in it too. Heck, when people ask questions, I get all giddy!

Talking about biblical/christian saints, greek myths, history, different cultural views and changes was kind of the whole point of why I started this tumblr blog. I have so many drafts filled with random info about LGBTQ+ saints..... Now… I post mostly thirsty drawings of greek gods with hairy chests... T.T

And I sympathize a lot when it comes to religious trauma. I consider myself lucky in these matters, my mom is Catholic, and she has her views that I don’t agree with and hurtful. Yet she still supports me in her way and watching my bible retelling animatics, everytime I post a new bible animatic, she writes me: "What have you done to Daniel..."

I also have my hurts and anger towards hypocrisies too, and I guess this is my way of countering that?

LGBT content in the Bible is something that really fascinates me. I think it's important to keep in mind that people from about 2,500 years ago had very different views when it came to gender and sex compared to how we see it today. In a way, the Bible does have strict social gender expectations, and if you didn’t fit in, then you weren’t considered part of that gender. But at the same time, it acknowledges that your sex. I think it’s in the Talmud were it discusses the fact that, throughout the Bible, there were about eight genders:

Zachar: male.

Nekevah: female.

Androgynos: having both male and female characteristics.

Tumtum: lacking sexual characteristics.

Aylonit hamah: identified as female at birth but later naturally developed male characteristics.

Aylonit adam: identified as female at birth but later developed male characteristics through human intervention.

Saris hamah: identified as male at birth but later naturally developed female characteristics.

Saris adam: identified as male at birth but later developed female characteristics through human intervention.

Some scholars even believe that Abraham and Sarah were Tumtum. A Tumtum is not considered to be very distinct but rather flexible between male and female sex/gender—"sometimes he is a man, and sometimes he is a woman." The simple fact that God said Abraham had a womb and from it, he would have children. Some say that this is why he is a Tumtum, while some historical linguists argue that ancient Hebrew didn’t have the vocabulary for male genitalia yet. Both arguments are valid, and I like them both!

There’s tons of stuff I could bring up—Joseph with his princess dress, Naomi and Ruth, David and Jonathan, and the discussions around whether Daniel was a Saris Hamah or a Saris Adam. We know he was called a saris, but we’re just not sure which. And then there's Jael, whose story is filled with a lot of phallic symbolism, and even her name is very gender-neutral.

I think I’m going to end here. I could yap about these things forever! But thank you again taking your time writing to me and I hope you also have a nice day! <3

[literaticat]

my debut sold decently and many readers consider it one of their favorites of all time — the dream! but my second book is out now, and whether it's the curse of the sophomore slump or that expectations for it were too high, readers aren't connecting with it in the same way. even avoiding reading reviews, I keep getting reminded that people aren't enjoying it and that it isn't selling well. now I'm starting to get in my head about it as I work on my next books. second-guessing myself on everything from premise to POV and tense, wondering if I'm about to doom myself to a steady decline in my career with every choice. what would you tell a client going through this?

Congratulations on the books!

I really hope you are cultivating good, smart, non-drama-stirring writer friends who you can be real with, because I'm certain that MANY people have had "slumps" and may have useful strategies for getting out of your own head and shutting down that pesky inner saboteur.

(I'd also urge you to consider trying therapy if you can. It really might help to be able to open up to somebody who is outside the publishing world and has no bias. Talking out your fears and issues might help you conquer them before they get bigger!)

I haven't really had a client come to me with this kind of woe, probably for some of the same reasons you haven't gone to your own agent with it and are instead asking some random on the internet! But if I did, I'd probably try to give them some perspective. "Sophomore Slump" is a thing that happens to lots of people (that's why it has a name!) -- but I'm not sure that it's REALLY real, or that it really matters, in the long term. It seems like a big deal because you only have the two books -- your debut, that had so much build-up in your own mind, was SUCH a big deal for you, then did well, so your expectation of "normal" was set very high -- and then the next one. Which, compared to the first one, wasn't as big a deal, wasn't as exciting, was received differently, etc. Of COURSE that's somewhat deflating.

The thing is, careers are long. If you plan to keep being a writer, like, as your main thing, you'll probably have LOTS of books. Some will likely succeed beyond your expectations -- some will probably be forgotten. That's... pretty normal. (Even 'hitmakers' like Stephen King have some duds in the mix!) But even if every single fan of the first book is like "meh" to the second one, I'll BET that there are people who love the second one and don't care about the first one or haven't even read it. It's a different book! Not every book is for every reader -- and that's OK! (I'll bet for some readers, that Stephen King Dud is their FAVE!) When you have more books, you'll realize that every book has its own journey, and the ups-and-downs that are natural parts of that journey won't loom quite so large in your brain.

You can't really control how readers receive your work or how it is reviewed. Once it's published, it doesn't belong to you anymore -- you gave in roots by writing it, you gave it wings by publishing it, and now it's OUT THERE doing its own thing in the world, and you have to let go.

What you CAN control is writing books that YOU are excited about and proud of. So that's your goal.

(And if anyone has practical advice for stopping-overthinking / getting out of your head -- please do put it in the comments!)

[theangrypomeranian]

I was gonna go on anon to ask this bc fear lol but do what scares you until it doesn't scare you ufeelme lmao ANYWAY

Do you have any guidance or advice to someone that has /never/ read fanfic but wants to start? I'm not really a shipper (outside of canon, anyway, like I love boblin but avoid the kids ships even if canon bc of the internet drama I've read. Obviously no judgment on my end, I just don't wanna be involved in it - that anxiety/ chronic stress life babey)

But I've been feeling like having scenes or stories to draw will be the next step in improving my art. I can draw the characters reasonably legible now so wanna draw them interacting with each other more! To encapsulate their dynamics and relationships with one another, any fanfic seems ideal for that! Otherwise I'd just be redrawing scenes and that's fine as is, but it's not necessarily enough? If that makes sense?

With all this in mind, I'm overwhelmed with the prospect of diving in without any knowledge on the fanfic/writing world whatsoever. As I only follow a small handful of writes, and you seem to be one of the most consistent/frequent, I would absolutely love and appreciate your help!

I understand this may either be an unnecessary amount of info, or just a lot/ an intense amount in general lmao, so you don't have to answer this! But I had to try somewhere 👉😎👉 I hope you understand! I'm sure you'll understand 😆🤭

Hello! Sorry for responding so late, work has been taking all of my spoons this weekend and I wanted to be sure I could answer this with the gusto you deserve. (Also I HELLA feel the "do what scares you until it doesn't", I need to start living by that more. Good on you, mate!) For what to read, my number one rule is if I don't think I'll enjoy the story I stay away. AO3's tagging systems is a freaking lifesaver for that imo as you can filter away a lot of stuff you don't want to see, like certain ships or genre tropes or even physical acts of affection/intimacy. Sometimes the summary of a story can also help you decide if it's something you would be interested in. And if there are certain things you DO want to see or certain characters or ships, you can exclusively look for stories that have them (like how I hang out almost exclusively in the Zeke x Tina tag on AO3 lol). Knowing what you do and don't like is crucial for this, though. If nothing else, you can just go onto the Bob's Burgers AO3 tag and scroll through the fics until you see something you want to try reading. And always remember that fanfic is supposed to be FUN, so if you start something and start to not like it there is no shame in clicking out. You are not obligated to keep reading something you don't like, not even if it's posted by someone you DO like. This is supposed to be a fun hobby, after all. I hope this helps you a little bit! And thank you so much for asking me about this, I feel honored. <3 Happy reading!

[anti-dazai-blog]

Howdy! I've got a couple anon asks on my blog telling me to report and/or block you so I decided to finally check you out!

I'm absolutely in love with Dazai (I also really like the actual author's works! I hope I can save up some money to bulk buy his books sometime in the near future :)) and I was really curious when I saw your username.

I personally don't really identify, I guess?, with your way of thinking?? Does this make sense to you???? But I feel some sort of kinship because I HATE Chuuya in a way that I feel is similar to how you "hate" Dazai. I don't act hate him, that's very strong and also these guys are fictional (despite the namesakes and abilities that are modeled after real authors, many of whom I greatly enjoy!) and from what I've seen you're not spreading any negativity???

I also hate Dazai x Chuuya (I can't even remember the ship name lol) mostly because of Chuu-Chuu and because although I've enjoyed their dynamic/trope in other ships, this one just infuriates me and disagrees with my general vibe-ology I suppose lol, so all this to say, I see no reason to block or report you. I'm sorry you have to deal with so many people that lack basic reading comprehension and critical thinking.

I wrote all this on anon because I want to avoid having too much drama on my blogs, but I hope this doesn't cause a shitstorm for you, particularly because of the shipping part... I really love bsd but god sometimes the fanbase makes it hard to enjoy, as I'm very fandom-oriented. If you'd ever reply to an ask off-anon privately I'd love to send you some salutations by name :)

I hope you're well! And sorry for this admittedly strange ask.. I have been getting asks like I mentioned about you for quite some time now XD I'm glad to find that this blog is actually chill and fun instead of whatever the hell people who don't read think it is.

Stay safe!

Oh wow that’s a lot

I really wanna put all of this behind me, but the asks you got were from an well-known account that’s run by an obsessive Dazai fan who has been harassing countless bsd accounts for months now. If you scroll through my blog you should find stuff from her. (I don’t wanna get into detail here, but please dm me because there’s some stuff I wanna ask about this privately)

—yeah, I get it entirely— everything you said about Chuuya (although I do like him, I just don’t understand why he’s as popular as he is), and about the ship of Dazai x Chuuya (which I too don’t ship, although I enjoy their dynamic/banter occasionally). I’m not very active in any internet fandom, and bsd is the biggest fandom I’ve ever “participated” in, so I assumed it was just one of the many fandom things I don’t fully get. So it’s nice to see I’m not the only one who’s lost on why the fandom is the way it is.

This may be a weird thing to ask, but if possible (and if it fits with your blog aesthetic), could you maybe post something telling people to ignore the account sending asks saying to report me? If she sent that stuff to one account, I guarantee she sent it to 50 others. Again, I know that that’s a pretty big thing to ask from someone, especially since you don’t know me. So no pressure, I just don’t want my account taken down or something.

Anyway. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I really really appreciate it.

[rollercoasterwords]

hi, i hope you're doing well! i loved your fandom post as a noob and it served as an opportunity for me to understand any pre-conceived notions of fandom i may have as someone who's just dipping her toes in the playground.

this might be weird to ask (feel free to ignore) but i'm someone who tends to get into a fit of analyzing + focusing on various parts of a story, the characters, their characterization (non negotiable for me), relationships and so forth. however i also see fandom as a playground where you're exploring and experimenting with canonical happenings with whatever degree of accuracy or play. is it bad if that's my frame point regarding fandom and fics?

do you have any tips for navigating ao3 or making the best of it in terms of extensions? i don't have any fandom friends and as i mentioned before, i like reading fics and noting what works and doesn't work for me. however, i don't think there's any kind of option on ao3 for me to organize or leave comments for myself so i remember?

ooo and final thing (not sure if you addressed it), how the hell do you navigate fandom discourse when some takes are just so loud and wrong lol?

sorry for the ramble,,, thank you for your posts 💗💗

hi ty i'm glad you enjoy my posts! one thing i wanna reiterate tho--i am not an expert by any means on like fandom lmao my thoughts are just my thoughts like. i myself have only been involved in the marauders fandom for a single year and there are people who have a lot more time and experience interacting with these spaces.

as far as what you're talking about with like analyzing fics...i'm not entirely sure i understand the question? like, i don't think it's a bad thing to spend time thinking about characterizations and stuff as long as you're acknowledging that this is a space where people are allowed to experiment and play around with stuff however they want, and there's no like Single Truth about the way any story needs to be written.

as far as navigating ao3 and having a way to leave comments for yourself--you can bookmark fics and write notes in the bookmarks and leave tags and stuff! one thing to keep in mind though is that writers can see the stuff you put down in bookmarks, so if you have any negative commentary (even if it's just personal stuff you like or dislike that you want to keep track of for yourself) i'd say it's best to keep that bit private or just make like a separate spreadsheet or something. or if you really want to keep track of it all on ao3 then think up a rating or tagging system for yourself that won't clue a writer in if you didn't like their fic. like instead of putting down like...3/5 stars or whatever be like "pink is stuff i love, orange is stuff i like, purple is stuff i dislike" and then you can just tag pink orange and purple and a writer seeing it isn't gonna know what that means and get their feelings unnecessarily hurt, y'know?

and navigating fandom discourse....honestly i feel like i just avoid it lmao like i post my thoughts and shit on my blog but this is my own little corner of the internet, y'know? like honestly i'm not trying to insert myself into any fandom discourse or drama because it's just not worth it to me because this is literally just a hobby. like...it's fanfiction. if i see shit that really bothers me because it's so loud and so wrong i rant about it to my sister mostly or like to friends. or i write about it on here where i'm pretty isolated and just sharing thoughts with like The Circle Of Mutuals. but there are always going to be people being loud and wrong about things on the internet and sometimes you just have to accept it and move on for your own peace of mind lol

[leewritesthings]

This sucks.

For reference, I'm currently unemployed. I'm not at the stage where I'm b*gging internet strangers for money... yet. Maybe several months or now, if there are no crises.

Anyway, it's been stressful, to say the least. My SO is an absolute darling by insisting I'll get every job I get an interview for -- even if my outlook is much more bleak. I don't have an offer until I'm staring one down in the face. I've been rejected at the final stage so many times now it's actively painful to count.

Of course, my life has decided that I shouldn't be exempt from my share of drama. It doesn't matter if the actual event happened long ago, or if it didn't involve me to begin with -- it involves me now, apparently, because I exist in these circles. Did I mention I'm unemployed and broke for all intents and purposes?

One of my fellow underemployed (not unemployed) friends highly insinuated to me that I should buy them a game to make up a thing that happened years ago and... you couldn't ask this months ago, when I wasn't monitoring my credit card like a hawk? When I'm having to justify every single goddamn purchase to myself, as if there's anything I can do to avoid food. Or worse, meds.

Another one of my "friends" (I think I may be using that word too liberally. I hope I'm wrong.) insinuated that by telling another friend they should talk to a mental health professional, I was somehow being... ignorant? Like, no, buddy. That's not how any of this works. I'm well-aware that I'm not any sort of mental health professional, and neither are you, for that matter. And dealing with this is currently out of my realm of expertise. I've hurt myself, and others, by trying to be a therapist when I'm not remotely qualified. That's why they should talk to someone qualified. Not you, and not me.

But that's not really the thing, though, is it? People enjoy playing the hero when it comes to mental issues -- for some goddamn reason -- without any regard if they're helping or actually hurting or worse enabling the person in question.

Anyway, that's two -- count them, one, two -- friend groups that I don't feel comfortable associating with currently. I don't really have much beyond that, which is why I'm writing here. It... really feels like no one cares, besides my SO. And that has to be enough, at least for right now.

I just wish I could have somewhere -- some time -- to relax and enjoy my friends. I hate the holidays. I hate how sad winter makes everyone, even if I enjoy hiding my gender with hoodies and sweats. I hate the pressure every year of getting people presents. I hate the pressure to bake, the pressure to get people together, the pressure to be happy and joyful... when there's so little to be joyful about.

I'm also trying to separate myself from the Chr*stian supremacy we see in the US. December throws a wrench in that plan, of course. Just the whole damn month.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I suppose that's the point of a journal entry.

[sinsbymanka]

Hey. I'm sorry. So. Your post about sunseekerknight is really long and it seems out of date. I thought everything had been resolved and she promised to make amends but this all started back around again and it sounds like your issue isn't solved. Can you update me real quick? Sorry.

Thanks for being polite and coming to me. I’ll try to summarize things to the best of ability while also noting this is kinda a clusterfuck. It got long, so it’s under a cut.

In March 2020, I commissioned @sunseekerknight (I’m blocked so I can’t actually @ her) to do a Tarot Card commission of my Inquisitor for $80. I sent the money via PayPal friends and family as she requested which is something I no longer do for artists, even though I’d done it before with no problems. 

The main post goes over my initial experience really well - the repeated attempts at contact and missed deadlines. This post was made on June 18, 2020 and blew up. I informed Ada that day I was making the post and she told me she’d be doing so as well. 

I’d already filed the PayPal claim which was ultimately denied because I’d sent the money via friends and family, despite SSK’s assurances she’d help me resolve it in my favor. 

I didn’t hear from SSK after this and I didn’t contact her. My father passed away on June 20th and I was busy dealing with the personal fallout of that (he’d been in the hospital the whole month of June as it was) so my priorities swung towards processing my own grief and planning what happens next. 

On July 10th, my PayPal claim was denied. I forwarded the claim to SSK with the following message:

I want to inform you that PayPal has indicated, due to the way you asked me to send the funds (friends and family), they are unable to provide any sort of refund based on their policies. It is your responsibility to make the refund.

Because of the history of fraud I've uncovered, I will be pursuing this further. I am, in particular, asking PayPal to mark this account as one used for fraudulent transactions and scamming money before closing it. My hope is that this account is in your real name and that getting this account marked for fraud has real consequences you have to live with.

I honestly didn’t expect to hear from SSK again, but I did on July 12th: 

Oh, I see. Now the difficult situation has become even more difficult. I'm sorry to say this, but, as I said earlier, I had only two offers for people affected by my actions - a PayPal dispute or finished art. And since PayPal is useless in this situation, all I can offer you - is art. I’m still ready to finish your commission because I don't want you to be left with nothing. I would like to return the money, really, but it will take time and I don't know how much, considering the current situation on Tumblr. I still want to resolve this issue peacefully, despite what is happening now. I know that you don't trust me, and I understand this, as well as the fact that you are disappointed, angry, etc., but still I want to do at least something so as not to leave the situation as it is now. But if this is your final decision, then okay, I understand and accept it.

This message struck me as victim blaming. I am, after all, responsible for the situation on Tumblr which means she can’t get commissions. I reacted with some venom and my tone is not great here, but I do ask you to understand the frame of mind I was in here on July 13th: 

I don't think it's fair to claim that PayPal is being unhelpful in this situation when it is you who are refusing to refund money for a service that was purchased and not completed. I think it would make me feel better if you started phrasing the "situation" in a way that took responsibility for it. Such as: "I cannot refund the money to you myself, because I spent it before delivering what you paid for, and I cannot get your dispute resolved through PayPal because I asked you to send the payment a specific way that precludes disputes." 

I also feel hurt that immediately after I sent my email on Friday, you blocked me from Tumblr and turned all your social media accounts private. I can't think of why you would do this when you claim to still want to resolve this and when I have been more than kind. I find it difficult to believe that you didn't know what my review would cause - it sounds to me like this is something that has been brewing for awhile. Frankly, I'm amazed it took three years. I would also appreciate if, instead of blaming the "situation" on Tumblr for your inability to receive new commissions, you began taking responsibility for that as well. May I suggest: "My actions in the past three years have harmed many people and they are angry about it with good cause. Because I have damaged my reputation to a great extent, I will probably not receive many, if any, people willing to pay me money for commissions." 

I fully expect to receive nothing from you: art or my money returned. When speaking with PayPal on Friday, they advised the only way to shut your PayPal account down is if I file a criminal complaint with the IC3, which is the US's Internet Crimes division of the FBI. I did so and sent them the screenshots I have of all our conversations, your posts on Tumblr, and links to the posts of other people who publicly came out regarding the same behavior they experienced. I'm uncertain I can withdraw my complaints from both PayPal and the IC3, and if I could I don't think I would. I'm sure this isn't something that is high priority for them, but I assume eventually they will contact you to discuss your actions. The way I see it, you have three options at this point in time:

Find some way to issue a refund to me, and any other customers you've wronged. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a refund was eventually issued in my case. 

Deliver the art you promised to me, and any other customers. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a product was eventually delivered in my case. 

Continue to ignore what you've done and hope that no real consequences come of it. 

As to the art, I don't want it anymore. It has been tainted by this awful experience and I will not enjoy it. I will, however, accept it if you choose to do it to lessen whatever consequences you may end up facing because, truly, I'd rather you learn from this than end up with financial or legal consequences that are even more burdensome. 

Honestly. I never expected to hear from SSK again. But I did because this is the drama that never ends. On July 20th: 

I must apologize for the long silence. Sorry, I just got home from an unexpected vacation with my family, and I followed the advice of my parents and friends - spend these days away from work and the Internet to feel better. As I said, I understand you. You sound reasonable and you are totally right - it is my responsibility for that. And I'm trying to work it out, even if these are rather strange ways. And it wasn't about you personally. This was part of another problem with a friend I was trying to protect, and I followed the advice to keep the accounts private during the "war" and block some people on the tumblr during this time to avoid any collisions. But still, I was available for correspondence via email, and now all my accounts are again freely available. I know how it looks like, especially for you, when you have really been more than kind to me, and I cannot apologize enough to somehow change and improve this situation. I just fucked up on all fronts and I admit it. And I see, yes. I don't mind returning your art or money, it's just a matter of time. These are not days, these are weeks or months, and it is solely a matter of your patience. If you do not mind waiting, then I will try to return the money to you, since you no longer want art for obvious reasons. I understand and accept it, and it's okay. If you're willing to wait, I'll keep you informed of the refund situation and will do it as soon as I can.

You’ll note earlier I told you I can’t tag SSK cause I’m blocked. I’ve never been unblocked since July despite her saying she would. This is also the last email I got from SSK. I’ve had no communication since to my knowledge.

At this point in time I was tired. Really tired. It was bad news I got this email exactly a month after my father passed because I just didn’t want to do it anymore. This is my second to last email to SSK in response also on July 20th: 

Please feel free to do what you need to do to manage the situation. For my part, I have said and done all I can. I have asked for a refund for a service you have been unable to provide in a reasonable time frame, and thus you are legally obligated to return my money in the same reasonable time frame. That time frame has passed already.

When I am contacted by authorities about this matter in response to my complaints, I will tell them you have promised refunds but have not delivered. The only thing you could do to change this answer is to issue a refund before I am contacted.

This exchange is draining and unhelpful for me. I ask that you please do not contact me again until you are ready to issue a refund. 

On September 25th, I was informed SSK had successfully opened commissions on Twitter and Instagram. This spurred me to send one final email: 

I've been informed you recently reopened commissions to buy yourself something and met your goal, even though you only advertised on Twitter and Instagram. 

I would like to remind you that I'm still owed a refund AND you shouldn't spend that commission money until you deliver on that art. Please do not rip and entire new group of people off. 

There are other people, in the notes of the original post, who can attest to terrible experiences similar to mine. In particular, @starsandskies, @vorchagirl, and @charlatron have all come forward to talk about what she’s done and their experiences. Her pattern seems to be to open commissions, deliver a few, have the rest dragged out of her, and then to not do other ones. I drew the short straw this time. 

I don’t know if she’s reading this - if she is, at this point all I really want is an apology, a list of people who are waiting for art/refunds from her, and a plan as to how she’s going to make it right. If she doesn’t do those things, I suspect I’m going to keep getting dragged back into this cluster for awhile to talk about my experiences. 

If you’re waiting for artwork Non, open PayPal disputes and file complaints if you need to. The sooner the better. 

[thenerdkingqueen]

i unfollowed and soft blocked (on twitter) a bunch of people who weren't content creators or were in the mcyt community, i hope this way i can stop seeing all the drama, I'm so tired of enjoying something only to go talk to other people who enjoy it and instead of having a good time i have a awful time, last year, due to a lot of things happening in my life + people fighting me on social media because of the sanders sides fandom, my mental health became to decline again and i had a psychotic breakdown, I'm really trying to avoid having another one right now, my life is pretty good for me to give up due to dumb people on the internet

[skeletondoggy]

Hey Zack! Whenever you have a moment, could you please share some Kamen Rider Wisdom? A long time ago, I got into Den-O because of you! I really enjoyed it, and would love to watch more, but I'm not really sure where to start hmm. What are your faves? Any series I should avoid? I trust your sensibilities way more than random polls on the internet haha. Thanks in advance for any advice you might have! Hope you're doing well~ <3

HI FIRST OFF WOW thank you anon I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed Den-O yeah that shit whips!!!! HONORED YOU CAME TO ME so OK reccs though! I think for Heisei era stuff...

- FOURZE! Really really strong and has a very genuine heart to it, it's positivity about the future and how it handles its main cast is really well thoughtout. Was my first heisei rider and think it holds up pretty well!

- W!!! I never actually finished this one, but the vibe and writing was really really strong! Most people I know who haven't watched a ton of KR like this one too, so it's a great place if you're going off the tailcoats of Den-O!

- BUILD!!!!! BUILD IS SO, SO GOOD I WAS GENUINELY SURPRISED. It's a story with a lot of fun mystery and drama to it and feels like pure Kamen Rider. The directing is really strong and the cinematography is really creative too! Can't say too much without spoiling but it's great!!

I'd also reccomend Black RX and Stronger, but they're Showa era ones so that's at your discretion! Though when I watched them I liked them a lot lol.

as on what to avoid uh don't watch gaim. don't touch it.

[kuvvydraws]

I'm not sure if you've answered this question already, but I'm honestly very curious- why do you write fanfiction? I certainly enjoy it as much as you and have written a few things of my own, but I know it can be quite a personal topic for many writers. If it's too personal for you, don't feel any pressure to answer, but it's always interesting to see the writer's perspective outside of the story they've written :). I hope you understand what I'm trying to say-

Hey!

I actually enjoy the words and the rush your brain gets when they join without effort to create a reality.

Now, let me break that down XD

I've always had a book in my hands as far as my memory goes. My dad used to read to me when I was very little and from the second I could do it on my own, that was the best thing ever (yes, that means when I was punished for doing some shit, my books were taken away and I had to sneak them into my schoolbag and read in class like a heathen).

Not only I enjoyed books but I always found myself wanting to partake in the stories, and my brain was always running with the words and the scenes. (I discovered during my teenage years that brains have different ways to process thoughts and mine did it in words, so writing just sort of came naturally to me at that point in my life).

I discovered ffnet when I was 12, I think, but I had tried my hand at original works (that is, about five or six starts of different novels that never saw the light) and some "fanfiction" (about Nightmare Before Christmas because I had a big ass crush on Jack and I unassumingly created my first xReader ever) without knowing what the hell I was doing.

I just knew I wanted to write stuff and I did as much.

The thing is, I introduced one of my friends, who also loved to read and write, to ffnet, and we started writing together. The first thing we wrote was a Sesshomaru x OC fic, the second one was a Sasori x OC fic, and we dipped out toes into some Kuroshitsuji x OC...... all of them handwritten stories we promised we would type in a computer eventually (we didn't, they were horrible [I still have the notebooks we used for each of them and they are cringey as fuck]).

But we wrote for ourselves and we were happy like that.

So we were rampant and wild and having the best time. Back then I still wrote in Spanish (because I hardly knew any English and I didn't care for it), and I remember mixing Spain's Spanish with the ones from South America because obviously the percentage of writers in ffnet who used a different "dialect" Spanish was huge if you compare a single, tiny country with a whole continent.

At the same time I wrote with my friend, I wrote for myself. Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, Bleach, Hetalia.... And I met so many people, nice people, who loved my works (they were random fics, all of them x OC because I didn't know x Reader ones were a thing -they weren't at that time, and x Reader are harder to write in Spanish because all the words and pronouns are gendered one way or another-) and I got so much enjoyment from sharing them.

The thing about books I love the most is the fact that you can convey so many emotions with a few symbols, and you can create worlds out of ink and you can change views and inspire others. So, if none of my dumbass teenage novels were to roam the word, I still could share, in a free, open and fast way, my words with others.

Again, I was going to write them with or without posting them because I found -and still find- great pleasure when a scene creates itself in your brain and all you have to do to make it real is to write it down. (Sometimes my brain still does this and even when I'm daydreaming, my imagination is "written, described and dialogued" as if someone was reading a novel out loud. It makes writing so much easier).

And then I got hate.

I somehow had managed to miss all of the fandom drama that's so toxic in the internet because I didn't bother to interact with anyone in the fandoms beyond the reviews they left in my fics, and ffnet has a -sort of- specific search engine to help you find whatever you want, so I could never willingly find the "problematic stuff" because I was literally not trying to find it.

The hate comment I got was anonymous and very specific about everything that was wrong in a particular fic I had just updated -from plot and characterization to grammar and continuity-, and later on I discovered it came from a couple of authors who shared an account and who I admired greatly for their works. Turns out they were out for blood and hating on every fic that had updated that week and that had any members of their OTP shipped with some other character. (It was a Hetalia fanfic, I was writing SpUK and they were pro FrUk, if anyone is interested).

I was contacted by some other authors asking about this because they had gone through the very same thing -same specific hate, same hate comment- and I remember not giving a fuck.

I was 16 when I got the hate, writing for fun and trying to find a way to go through my shitty highschool days without falling into the black out of depression that haunted me. I remember not wanting to write anything anymore, leaving a fic I was very invested in writing to gather dust and rot in the forgotten folders of my computer because every time I tried to get on with it and progress, it felt wrong.

That thing I said about words just happening? It stopped. My brain was silent as a grave and trying to get my words out became painful. I remember struggling to even write regular project for my school.

I kept reading, of course -it was my only comfort and I really, really didn't want to give up on it-, but I abandoned the fandoms I enjoyed so much before. My new focus became the sci-fi, and I remember being hooked on Predator. Imagine my joy when I discovered there were thousands of works from that fandom! I was extasic.

Problem? They were written in English.

I didn't know shit about English besides being a language I was supposed to handle in school, memorize the unreasonably spelt words that were pronounced illogically regarding the fucking spelling and the stupid ass irregular verbs.

But I learnt English because I wanted a hot piece of alien ass XD

Back to the topic of fanfics, I still roamed ffnet, keeping 15 tabs open and reading until 5 am... But now there was a world of possiblities in front of me because of course everyone on this goddamn Earth writes in English.

So, for the next years I did that, and my words didn't come. It was fine, tho, because I had so many new things to read.

It wasn't until fall of 2018 that I dabbed into the idea of maybe considering to perhaps give writing a try again????? I was neck deep into Undertale -still am, I'm a shameless skeleton fucker and there's no cure for that shit- and its many AU's and somehow I had managed to avoid fandom wars again, so my brain started toying with words... The same way it worked with novels: I got myself into the fics other people wrote (this is so much easier to do with x Reader fics, and I'm so happy about that and the massive boom they had just when Undertale came out, you can't even understand it).

So I kept doing my shit and daydreaming about skeletons and ribs and ecto-stuff for a very long time. It was kinda reassuring and nice to see other writers projecting on their x Readers so much because that's what I had done before.

And then Good Omens happened.

As I've said before, I actually discovered Gomens back in 2012 and it is, to the date, the worst translation to Spanish I've seen in my entire life to this date. And, despite it, I fell in love with it.

Now, barely in 2019, my dad gets Amazon Prime and the first thing he fucking sees is the font of Gomens on the screen. I had fangirled hard about Gomens in book version, so much and so annoyingly that I wouldn't leave my dad alone until he gave it a chance. It's the only book my father hasn't finished because the translation is that bad. He hates it.

Yet.

The particular font they use for the show is the same from the book's title. My dad of course recognized it immediately and knew I would want in on the news.

I confess I watched Gomens the show at least seven times before giving it a break because I liked it so much and the novel was so fucking good and it's honest to God the best adaptation I've ever seen to the screen. It's so good I'm fucking sure I was crying actual tears after watching it for the first time because my dreams and all the feelings that book had given me over the years and the many re-reads were "true" and so well done and it reached deep into my heart.

And then, for the first time in six years, my words came back.

Another thing Good Omens has given me, I have to say.

I don't know if I can stress this enough, but just imagine spending six years of radio silence, sending longing stares to the void and hoping to see something yours returning back, something you've lost and you're not sure you're getting back, something you think you don't need or want but that would be nice to have again. If only. You can live without that something, and no one but you cares about it, and it's not that big of a deal and-

Then you see a spark in the dark.

My words came back.

They weren't in Spanish, and it was hard to manage them at first, only being able to listen to them in short bursts over long periods of time.

But they were my words and they were back.

Writing is still hard, and I have a lot of work to do to improve my skills, to get them not only back but to refine them because I'm not writing in my native language and all I know is what I've learnt from other authors and their knowledge. I project a lot on my projects -I don't intend to stop because it's such a relief, the biggest scape from reality I get by doing so; it helps me deal with my problems, it gives me a break and a way to take a breath when I can't keep going...

Fanfics are where I can say what I want to say to the world in the most honest way, and that allows me to be me, and to express myself and indulge in the fantasies I dream about without having to force myself to think of them over and over and over. I can just sit back and enjoy content I know I like without being judged for it.

I can fucking make that content, too.

Writing feels like home, even if sometimes I still struggle, if I can't find my words or the expression is not quite like that in English, or if I can't find the words or if I'm suffering a block... because there's nothing scarier and more free than a blank page ready to be written.

[arielmagicesi]

Hi, sorry. So I am new to the st/efvater world, and I've only read one of her books (raven boys), and like I see you posting stuff about her a lot, but only like little bits and pieces, and I feel like I'm missing something and don't understand what's going on cause I'm not really in the fandom; I've just read one book, and don't really know anything about her. I'm sorry, this is rambling mess, but if you could enlighten me a little bit I would appreciate it.

OK I took a while to respond and I’m gonna try to be objective and polite but there isn’t a whole lot of objective politeness in this soul of mine, but I will try.

Maggie St/efvater (I only spell it that way so it doesn’t show up in her tag and annoy people, I’ll just call her Maggie for the rest of this post) is this fairly popular YA author, and she wrote the Wolves of Mercy Falls series, the Scorpio Races, and the Raven Cycle. Her writing is very good (I have some bones to pick about it as a writer but mostly it’s pretty good) and the Raven Cycle in particular has gained a big fandom because it’s an excellent series. I guess you would know cause you’ve read TRB- the concept is unique, it has cool magic stuff, there’s fascinating character concepts, and the teenagers do a lot of realistic teenager stuff like being annoying and cursing and either doing their homework or not, etc. And if I haven’t made it abundantly clear with my posts, a lot of us in the fandom fell in love with the main characters for many reasons, but especially because they represent parts of ourselves that aren’t often represented. Abuse victims who don’t react in a Good Abuse Victim way, poor teenagers who scrape and claw to get out of their shitty towns, mentally ill kids who have ugly unpleasant symptoms, girls who are feminists but whose feminism is a little messy because they grow up in a terrible small town, etc.

Unfortunately, the development of the Raven Cycle fandom online, like the development of ANY goddamn fandom on the accursed Internet, led to some gross pockets of fandom. In the second book, an abusive character called Ka/vinsky shows up, and some heavy subtext suggests that he’s gay and into one of the main characters, Ronan. He’s absolutely awful and monstrous to Ronan and the others, but you know how fandom is, they started shipping it and being like “Ka/vinsky’s just a misunderstood cinnamon roll uwu” and generally being the worst about it. Additionally, some parts of fandom started hating on the two lower-class characters, Adam and Blue, for not always being sweet and nice about the class privilege of all their wealthy friends, and for reacting "badly” to literal abuse and sexism.  so the fandom is a mess, yeah

In the second and third books, also, (spoiler alert I guess? I mean if you follow my blog you can’t avoid knowing this haha) it’s suggested and then made all but direct canon, that Ronan is gay and has a crush on Adam. So, like, everyone shipped it because they’re a great ship and it was pretty obvious it was gonna be made canon in book four.

But Maggie interacts a lot with the fandom online, and obviously the clashing of fandom issues like this with any author would lead to some mess, but the way she treated it was....... terrible. She would make jokes about Ronan being Gansey’s “dog” and things like that. She milked the whole “writing a gay character” thing for all it was worth, and would never really say “hey, Adam and Ronan are a romantic thing” but would hint at it constantly, which, if you don’t know, is agonizing to watch when you’re desperate for any representation of your identity. She eventually said “I realize you guys are used to being baited, so don’t worry, the ‘other kiss’ will be between the people you hope it’ll be between” or something like that. And she would talk about Ronan being gay, but never address whether Adam was bi, and god forbid those words were used in the books. In the fourth book, although they do actually kiss and presumably get together, they don’t talk about it, and they never use the words “gay” or “bisexual.” Her excuse was that she’s writing for a world without labels. Leaving aside that that’s bullshit and a straight* woman doesn’t get to say that when we are out here in a homophobic world and saying our labels out loud is a sign of pride, she actually didn’t write a world without labels. The aforementioned Ka/vinsky is constantly using homophobic slurs to describe Ronan, boys at the private school make homophobic jokes, Adam’s dad makes lowkey homophobic remarks, etc. So labels are OK if they’re nasty and negative and used against you, but you’re never allowed to say who you are out loud.

When she gets called out on this whole mess- or a number of other things**- her response is to block people, tell people “if you are hostile one more time you’ll be blocked,” to reply to private posts by teenagers, to sic her army of clueless fans on young LGBT mentally ill readers, to claim that she’s being bullied and attacked, to make vague posts talking about “callout culture” and how it’s mature to avoid “discourse,” etc. I talked a while back about how I’ve made several fully thought-out posts critiquing her, but when I sent her a polite ask about her next book, she replied linking me to one of my own joke posts about “hating” her, making it clear that she apparently has me down on some sort of list of haters or something. And at least she responded privately, so that her other fans didn’t attack me, which has happened to other younger fans before.

She claims to be an ally, but she only really wants the ally points. She’ll talk your ear off about how brave she is for “writing an on-page queer relationship” as a straight woman, but when actual queer teenagers critique her for the way she writes it, she throws a fit and absolutely refuses to listen. She doesn’t want to do the work.

Additionally, she is writing a follow-up series called “the dreamer trilogy” which she drops constant hints about on her social media. It will center on Ronan (naturally, because she’s admitted Ronan is her self-insert and has butchered his character development for the sake of giving him a life identical to hers and fulfilling her fantasies of driving fast cars 24/7 and being an asshole with no consequences) and she’s making it increasingly obvious that none of the other characters we all fell in love with will feature at all. And basically any plotllines we enjoyed, she scraps (often out of spite?), and any plotlines we hate, she makes sure to write tons about (I’m talking about the magical artifact community. No one cares. We started reading for the house of psychics and Glendower and Gwenllian, not the fucking Greenmantles and their haunted doll babies or whatever).

The fandom obviously responded with like “ooh! more Pynch!” because like, fandoms like ships, but ALSO BECAUSE some of us are goddamn LGBT teenagers who are starving for representation and we want to see that “on page queer relationship” she brags about. And yet, at every opportunity, she makes remarks like, “This won’t be a romance. It won’t be the cuddle trilogy. It won’t have relationship drama, that doesn’t interest me. It won’t be fanservice. It won’t be lovey dovey, it won’t be cute, etc.” No, I don’t want fanservice or drama or the cuddle trilogy. But given her history, when Maggie says shit like that, I get worried, as someone who’s been baited a thousand times before. Doesn’t anyone see how awful it is to dangle representation like this? To say “ooh, look, someone who has the same identity as you? Juuuust kidding I’m not writing about it?” She can’t just say what we want to hear, which is “Adam will be there. I’ll say the word gay. I’ll say the word bisexual. Their relationship will be treated as real as Blue and Gansey’s or as any other relationship I write. Not the main focus of the plot, but THERE.” Because she’s not GOING to do any of those things, because writing actual gay relationships makes her uncomfortable. But she can’t say that or she’ll lose her sales.

And when she says all this bullshit about “I won’t write a romance” she gets so much FUCKING praise from her straight readers who think she’s the sun and fucking stars because their shit brand of feminism thinks all romances are equal and romance is insipid drivel and that a feminist book, apparently, is one token white girl who has a pink switchblade being sort-of in the background of a bunch of rich boys fucking around. I’m not saying I didn’t like that very book and that I don’t love that girl and her switchblade, but Maggie has to actually LEARN and IMPROVE and not go backwards. If she wants all this credit for gay representation, she has to actually write gay representation. And if not, I’m not congratulating her for “not writing relationship drama!!!!” because all that says to me is “yuck, I’m not writing gay stuff.” She says “relationship drama doesn’t interest me” and yet she wrote pages upon pages of Blue’s mother making out with a hit man. Relationship drama sure does seem to interest her. This isn’t her taking a Stand against romance, it’s her finding a way to make homophobia seem cool and progressive.

So yeah. That’s why she pisses me off.

*I know I know, “she’s never said her sexuality! How can you call her straight?” On the off chance she’s bisexual (she’s married to a man with kids), that doesn’t excuse her homophobic bullshit. She’s acting like an asshole straight person so yeah I’m gonna call her straight.

**Here are some other problems she’s been called out for and her bullshit reactions:

-Blue is basically the only female character and has no female friends or anything. Maggie says “well none of them had friends!” OK so why isn’t there another girl in the group? Why is her family the only other women who have page time besides villains and other relatives of main characters?

-Gansey gives Adam a lot of grief for not being fond of Gansey’s wealth, but Adam never makes Gansey apologize for blaming Adam for the abuse he endured? Maggie doesn’t have a comment on this, I don’t think.

-In book four, Ronan and Adam make racist jokes at the expense of the One (1) character of color, Henry Cheng. Maggie didn’t address this outright because “spoilers” but made a post about it saying that it wasn’t meant to be a racist joke, it was a throwback to some random joke from book one, and any good reader would know that.

-Blue isn’t a very intersectional feminist, which is fine, but it’s never really addressed, apparently because “all the characters are damn fools!” Who never get any character development except for Adam whose development essentially consists of “I stopped being prejudiced against the rich!” (and lots of other personal things but still)

Yeah, that’s about all I can think of. This didn’t end up being very neutral but I have class in 10 minutes and yeah this is hella long I just wanted to get it all out. I hope I don’t get shit for this, but you know what, anons? Go ahead, send me stuff saying I’m a nasty bitch and should stay away from fandom for criticizing poor Maggie. I don’t even care.

OH AND THEBROKENBREAKINGSEAS: THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUESTION. I know I answered in a horrifically mean tone but that ISN’T directed towards you, you were just asking! Don’t take my words at face value, I’m super biased. If you’re interested, you can go read Maggie’s blog and Twitter account, or other fans’ essays on this, etc. I’m glad you asked! And thanks for still following me after all this stuff haha. I’m normally... nicer? I think? Thanks again.