#I feel unfulfilled

[touyyes]

where are all the cute aesthetic blogs that write for slashers :<<

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bonus 8: How met your mother (CSSR design by @qourmet!)

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[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

[d4rkshad0w]

saw a pinterest post about Jean and Neil and someone commented that they would be parabatai, and that is soooo accurate i cannot stop thinking about it

they have such a special relationship that i’m not even going to begin to describe but i think parabatai describes them perfectly

[almist-moon]

Not knowing each other in dream.

.

Based of these:

Boothill's VL about Argenti has existed since 2.2, but in 2.3, Argenti's line implied they just met at the ship. Overall, they also acted as if they just knew each other.

[mint-ty]

but the real question:

can I rpf my mutuals

[gracemarkss]

i really do think we lose out on a lot by cutting ethan from the pilot. so much of what we learn about scully in subsequent episodes and seasons - her relationships with her father, with jack, with daniel; her experiences in never again and how she describes her relationship to authority; the themes of normalcy and expectation, desire and fear, what you should want vs what you actually want, letting yourself want; about having a life and drawing lines and getting out of the car…once you learn about jack, ethan makes so much sense.

how much time passed between her time at the academy and dating jack and her assignment to the x files? months, a year at most maybe? with the revelations in lazarus, you start to wonder, what made her go from a superior decades older than her who’s intensity is his downfall to a regular run of the mill guy in her peer group? when she talks about other fathers in never again, taken with everything she’s said about wanting “a life”, it becomes a bit more clear - this was a course correction. it’s all the more clearly drawn in all things, another taboo relationship with a man she could never bring home. is it “normal” to date your teacher, have emotional affairs with married professors twice your age? is that what good catholic girls do? can you bring these men to sunday dinner with your parents’ pastor? so ethan is a conscious choice. an experiment in normalcy. an attempt at the clean cut boyfriend that you can bring home to dad, with an eye on the house in the suburbs, the picket fence, the 2.5 kids. she doesn’t not want it. she wants to want it. it’s what girls from her background are expected to do. missy certainly isn’t going to. so it’s up to her. and she’s already rebelled so much already, with her career choices. she can do this. she can want this. she can be a good daughter. she can make this work.

but then there’s the assignment. then there’s mulder. then there’s passion and intensity adventure and a fierce dedication to the truth, to helping people, to a dogged pursuit of justice (whatever form that might take). there’s the adrenaline rush over lost time beside empty graves in the rain. there’s this strange man you just met being so careful with your vulnerability, and handing his to you in kind. how can a weekend out of town with ethan compare to this? what’s the house and the fence and the sunday dinners compared to this?

so ethan is is out. the experiment in normalcy has failed. but the fear lingers. there are still expectations to meet. there are still parts of her that wants it. she could get it if she really tried. it’s something that she comes back to over and over again, fear vs desire, the contradictions in all the things she wants and needs, the heavy weight of expectation, both from others and her own. and i think it’s all communicated that much more clearly and powerfully when ethan’s presence is maintained in the pilot.

[0rchidm4ntis]

Midsummer night's dream

[anonymocha]

finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i dont need to pretend to simp that Guy just because everyone else in my friend group does

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 8)

The FF could have just told him how they felt years ago if this "damaged personality" started as soon as the Wild East came to be (which now I think only happened after Clover showed up... so... for a few hours. For a few hours was Starlo's personality "damaged"). Star is the type who'd give up anything for his loved ones, even his biggest dream. Ceroba didn't have to pretend all this time and lie to him to make him feel better (we know this whole Wild East thing often annoys her though she tries to hide it).

His friends just spilled the truth to him when he was at his most emotionally damaged (after they admitted that they didn't like or appreciate his efforts, he STARTED to break), then decided to leave him all alone. And you wonder why he cracked. And you wonder why he tried to kill Clover. Because the kid represented everything you all were shaming him for, for no reason other than he was too passionate for your taste, too willing to feel important, too hurt to face the truth of feeling like a nobody. And you were not willing to understand.

this is what ultimately broke him

No one tried to ask, "Hey Star, you doing okay? Need some help? What's about Clover you admire so much?" No, they just leave. Feisty Four, you could have quit this job long ago and gone home (but apparently they DO like the job since the gang doesn't split up; in other words it took them less than 1 day to give up on Starlo until he came to beg them for forgiveness.. sigh).

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Words Collide

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[albatris]

now that I have a good job that I enjoy and I'm skilled at and get paid well for I've finally realised

I simply do not want to work

[heywriters]

oh god, rereading my last AO3 update of Regenerate and it's breaking my heart. these characters and the world i took from canon and made my own are so real?? i DID that?

These lines hurt:

"I devour the remains of a box of sandwiches. Some places have reopened for emergency services. Kind people. Making sandwiches at the end of the world." "She puts my hair into a band again. The familiar tug and snap takes me back fifty years. No memory, just the feeling. Gone, slowly."

I so need to start writing again. It felt so satisfying.

[ziracona]

I thought the ending to The Untamed was perfect.

I knew it would be different from the book, because of censorship. And I thought they couldn’t have done a better job.

You’ve got this story about a broken society with prejudices of class and sex and background, and how the way things are, you can’t be truly happy within the system. In the book, Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan leave the system together to get married, because they can’t stay within the cultivation world and be gay and live the same, and find happiness outside it. In the book, you get this lifetime of pining from Lan Zhan, and slow realization from Wei Wuxian, and a bond that goes through and overcomes death itself. And in the show, they give you as much of that as they can too. They have to make it subtext, but boy does every single actor hit that gay shit hard. Every single reaction shot to Wang Yibo is him carrying the gay subtext on his back like Atlas.

It’s absolutely still a love story about two men. One who fights to keep the other alive, and fails, then fights not to lose him again when gifted a miracle. The other, trying to do the right thing and being punished and demonized every step of the way, because right doesn’t coincide with ‘accepted.’ It’s often directly opposed.

But they aren’t allowed to make it canon. So they follow that thread. They can be in love, if they don’t say it. They can have the intense feelings, if an audience can pretend they’re friends. But they can’t get together. So they don’t. They go ‘if they can’t, then what happens?’ and they don’t give you the emotional out of letting them go off together as ‘friends’ so the audience can be happy, because that’s not a reading of the relationship. They aren’t friends; they’re in love. Because he’s not openly gay, Lan Zhan can be asked to run his sect, which means he has to stay. If he can’t choose to go with Wei Wuxian and run away, then Wei Wuxian is forced to return to his fate and be alone. It’s heartbreaking. But it’s supposed to be.

Denying an audience what they want is one of the most powerful tools media has. A whole story about fighting the entire world for a man you love as another man, 50 episodes, and then you don’t get to be happy together, because it’s being shown to a world that won’t allow that end.

Wei Wuxian is heartbroken. They go to part ways, and he tells Lan Zhan next time they meet, he better have a name for the song he wrote them. A song that has always been called Wangxian, or Wuji. A song that is literally the ship name, their names combined. Both in world and metatextully, he’s telling him to make a choice.

And they leave, and Wei Wuxian starts playing Wangxian on the flute. They’ve parted, and Lan Zhan stops because he can hear the song that’s literally written by him about loving Wei Wuxian and named after their ship, being played after him as a call of the life they could still choose to have. The call to run away together.

And it’s called not The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, but The Untamed, after that quote. “At best, you’re the untamed hero; At worst, you offend people wherever you go.” - “Wei Wu Xian! Don’t you understand? When you’re standing on their side, you’re the bizarre genius, the miraculous hero, the force of the rebellion, the flower that blooms alone. But the second your voice differs from theirs, you’ve lost your mind, you’ve ignored morality, you’ve walked the crooked path.”

Because that’s what it’s about. It’s about the disconnect from society and right. Again and again. The way people are treated for their birth, their love, their affiliation. The fate of the Wen remnants who didn’t fight, Jin Guangyao’s entire reason for being there, all the broken relationships and tension, even the very reasons people hate Wei Wuxian and kill him the first time. And in the show, allowed to exist for the book’s overwhelming popularity and success, but not allowed the freedom of the book—only allowed in the closet, it seven more about that in regards to the core romance itself. It’s a deep, beautiful gay romance, not allowed to show a gay romance to their audience.

And so they lean into that. You can’t have ‘MDZS without the gay romance.’ It doesn’t exist. It wouldn’t be the same story. It’s a story about, and in every step and nuance, only possible because of, the romantic and sexual feelings of deep connection between two men. So the story is MDZS with the love, but you can’t show it. You can’t let it out of the shadows. You can’t let it be seen. And you can’t have the happy ending MDZS earns, without the freedom to love each other and live the life they want together, that makes it possible. — They can’t have them get married, so they make you see what a world where being gay and together isn’t allowed looks like for those characters, because that’s what this story is being forced by censorship to be. And it fucking sucks. It hurts. It’s agony and disappointment, after all this, that death can’t beat you but the world can.

But they have him call out to Lan Zhan to reconsider. To choose Wangxian over the end they have to have. And he does. And you see Wei Wuxian look overjoyed that he heard Wangxian and answered. But they never show the reverse shot. We hear Lan Zhan, but we can’t see him, because it’s not allowed. It’s censored. They literally don’t ‘show us’ him changing his mind, because they’re not allowed to, and they make a point of that. It cuts immediately to “We thank the author Mo Xiang Tang Xiu for bringing these characters to life.”

We thank the author for letting them truly live.

“May their wishes in the future come true.” May the system change. May the last frame be allowed.

[anachilles]

gale, probably*:

*(he’s one bad day away from a divorce)

[rinaforreal]

I love this moment specially because you can see how safe they feel with each other, how at ease they feel with each other. Gina just showed Ricky the very first song she has ever written for him about them and she feels so safe and secure being that vulnerable with him, and he is such a pillar for her such a grounding presence such a reassuring presence. She knows that he is her right person and now she gets to reap the benefits of that. And for him to be so wanted by another person so valued and thought of so highly. Like being loved and loving the right person just feels good and you can see it written all over there faces.