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iloveschiaparelli · 4 days

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Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes: My Love Letter Part 1

Okay okay okay SO Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes longpost time just my whole opinion/analysis/love letter for the whole film beginning with my Wes Ball backstory so skip to the Ruin screencap if you want to skim past all that.

I haven't talked about it on tumblr yet but I'm actually like a huge fat fan of the Maze Runner cinematic series directed by Wes Ball. Really I'm just a fan of Wes Ball. It not only singlehandedly got me through my first year of high school but also became the reason I ended up entering the film industry. I've watched all 3 movies at least 4-5 times each. Probably like 20-30 for Scorch Trials at this point because it's my favorite. I can quote probably at least half of it from memory. I've watched all of the BTS content that was on the DVDs + the bloopers on youtube like i was obsessed ok.

2019 was like the second worst year of my life so imagine my distress in january 2019 when I found out about Wes Ball's next movie, Mouse Guard, got Super Hyped Up for the multimillion dollar mice-with-swords movie (I eventually read some of the comics btw it's insanely good) And then within the same week found out Disney pulled the plug on the project after acquiring 20th Century Fox. TWO weeks before production was scheduled to begin. I was livid. I'm still bitter about it. Wes Ball then released the demo reel for the film to the public which iirc also had temp music.

So anyway yeah that was awful but then! I think it was later in 2020 that it was announced that Wes Ball was going to be directing the 4th POTA movie. This kicked off me seeing the original 1968 film and then the trilogy and wow did doing so increase my excitement. In my opinion Rupert Wyatt/Matt Reeves' directing styles and Wes Ball's were/are very compatible. I also took the time to get caught up on as much of Wes Ball's old projects as I could get my hands on at the time, including his animated short Ruin (screencap below). Which is fantastic BTW and apparently was purchased by Fox for a feature film that was never made (???) I swear, filmmakers have their past works splattered all over the internet like body parts after a landmine explosion: Good luck finding everything.

Now, Finally Finally FINALLY!!!!!!!! Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is out. I meant to see it on the premier night but my boyfriend broke up with me 2 days before so I forgot. I saw it tonight instead! So now with the backstory out of the way I can finally talk about the actual movie.

First of all, the beginning of the film absolutely WOWed me!!!! It honestly feels like a callback to Ruin, the way that the buildings are overgrown and the post-apocalyptic setting is super evident and feels so delightfully reclaimed by nature. It's also really neat to see how far VFX has come since Ruin was released if you compare the opening shots of the movie with the wide shots in Ruin. Wes Ball himself is also a VFX artist, so it's really neat to see how that affects his work especially since Planet of the Apes is by nature a very vfx-heavy franchise. This movie absoutely popped off in that area but we'll get to that.

Secondly, I forgot how much I missed Ball's directing! Oh my goodness, the performances he gets out of the actors are always so authentic. I still have yet to see a performance by Dylan O'Brien that was as raw and believable as in the Maze Runner movies, and I'm like halfway through Teen Wolf already. In the action scenes especially, I love how characters in Ball's movies, you can really feel their pain. Since pain and physical discomfort aren't communicated directly through film, we often forget just how hard it is to get back up again after getting kicked down, but with Wes Ball you never forget. Ugh, when Noa was getting beat up on top of the bunker at the end of the movie, I caught myself catching my own breath when he coughed up blood. Like, yeowch!

Additionally, everything this man makes is just, like, a masterpiece? On a technical level at least. That's really the mark of a good director, whose job is not only to evoke a performance from the actors, but also to tie together the whole crew. And KOTPOTA really showed off how well the team worked together. Just the establishing shots alone in a lot of these scenes! Oh. My. Word. You can clearly see the fruits of labor of not only the concept artists, but also the VFX artists and production designers, and how they worked with the DP and actors to get the shot. Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:

There are more that I'm thinking of, but unfortunately without a digital release available yet there's a limit to the screencaps that I'm able to obtain. The shot where Noa is walking up the escalator following Raka and you see the plane in the background indicating that Raka lives in an airport is one of them. There's also one or two establishing shots in nature that just show off the setting. The opening shots, of course. And then the shot where it pans up and you see Eagle Village for the first time. There's also an aerial of Proximus Caesar's camp, but I'm unable to find that one as well. The main one I want to look at is the telescope.

Just, like, Hello???? It looks like an art piece. This screencap is a little closer in than I'd like, but in the full frame you can see the absolute mastery of composition that it is, you can totally imagine it as a painting. Which in my experiences usually means there's a painting behind it somewhere in the process, lol. Let's go concept artists!!! But then you see how the colors are just, perfectly balanced, the plant growth is realistic and accentuating the set, and so on and so forth. It was just absolutely breathtaking to see for the first time. I'm pretty sure I audibly gasped. I did a lot of stimming during this movie just to stay quiet and not start babbling about the film pipeline to my father in theater auditorium.

Even more magic happens when Noa steps onto the set, and starts messing with the telescope. Suddenly it's real, it's tangible, it's touchable. Transforming what was likely a matte painting at one point into a set that the actors can interact with, and then into a shot where almost everything is overlaid with VFX, and having it look so real like that is truly magic.

The ship also had me dumbstruck, but slightly less so because we saw a similar setting in The Maze Runner: The Death Cure in 2018. Although it was slightly different for sure. What had me going even more in this movie was how much the characters interacted with the ship, moving in and around it, and trading glances with one another from on the ground and up inside. In TMR:DTC, you really only see the decrepit ships in the background, and one is referenced as a plot point but the characters never actually physically interact with any of them. So it's much easier for our brains to categorize the ships as gimmicks to help us believe the scene.

It's when props like these are woven into the scene as tangible objects that our brains start to shut up about the CGI and really start to believe what's happening onscreen! and KOTPOTA did an amazing job at this. Please bear in mind like, I literally have zero specialization in VFX, it's not my field and although I draw, I've never done concept art for film. I honestly believe that I'm simply in an appropriate level of awe for what this film accomplished.

The other thing that amazed me was how stylized the setting was. The greenery was so green, the ocean felt like a painting, the ship was red, the telescope shot is very, very blue. Several of the shapes used in the ape's costume design are simplified. And yet, despite the stylization, it never feels cartoony or polygonal, it still feels completely grounded in reality, and I could really believe I'd see it in real life. I think this owes partly to the fact that we rarely inspect any of these simplified items at a close distance, aside from Raka's necklace which appears to be made of either bone or whittled wood. It also owes to absolute geniuses in color grading that kept the stylized colors realistic enough for our brains to believe. Overall I'd take the visual style of the film to be Impressionist. I love impressionism.

My main interest in filmmaking is writing/directing. However, most of my experience lies in costume design (Student films rarely need costume "design" so its usually coordination) and production design. As a result I spent a good deal of my time watching KOTPOTA zeroed in on the production design.

I love post-apocalyptic science-fiction/fantasy worlds like this partly precisely because of how much you can learn from the production design alone. When Mae enters Trevathan's room for the first time I swear I was eating it up. Every single prop in this movie was carefully thought out by the PD, which is why his room absolutely stood out from the rest of the setting that we had seen up to that point. It was distinctly "human-centric" as opposed to the rest of the movie. I remember seeing it in the theater earlier today, laying eyes first on the bed by the door, thinking that it must be something they set up for Mae, but then wondering why or how the apes would know or want to set up a human-style bed for Mae when we're so many generations removed from human-dominated society.

Next it was on many miscellaneous table objects, thinking to myself "That looks like how a human would treat a space. Apes are generally too big to decorate at that scale." and then my eyes roved on to the furniture, seeing a human-sized table, human-sized chair, human-sized junk everywhere! Slowly, by observing the room, I gained a stronger and stronger sense of "there is another human here," which upon observing the rows and rows of books became "a smart human like Mae, who unlike her can read" (Remember at this point we still believed that Mae and her mother were the only smart humans that Mae had known growing up, and that she had been pursuing the opportunity to meet other smart humans and join them).

It was only upon the instant of realizing that this was a smart human that Trevathan spoke and appeared on the stairs. It was absolutely perfect timing. THIS, guys, is exceptional production design. It was honestly my absolute favorite piece of production design in the entire film, especially because of how much it contrasted what we've become used to seeing in the series as humans have diminished in population and apes and nature have taken over the space instead.

That exact sense of change or "otherness", that noticeability of contrast upon seeing what is honestly a pretty "normal" human space if you look at it in the context of our existing society, is only present because of how well PD treats the rest of the movie. In order to make a completely normal space feel strange, you have to change literally every other space to something alien but consistent with itself. And KOTPOTA does just that. The job was begun in the original trilogy, with the decline of humanity depicted across decades, nature taking over the gas station and the dam and even the city. But this movie had the biggest challenge because of simply how many years had passed before the story even began. Society as we know it today is completely and totally obliviated in KOTPOTA's setting. In every set that the characters interacted with in any way, PD had to fabricate a space where humans had been but the virus, decades of decay and post-apocalyptic living, and ape encroachment had transformed it.

This also brings me into the subject of the rich culture we see emerging in the world of the apes through this movie. The original trilogy, especially the first and second film, was all about the ape's identity. In the first film Caesar wonders whether he is human or ape, and whether apes are pets or equals to humans. He eventually comes to the realization that humans are never going to look out for apes the way that apes will and decides to become that person. In the second film, Caesar and the other characters involved have to figure out what being an ape means. Does it mean strength is power? That humans are always an enemy to defeated? Or a similar species to live alongside? It's about establishing what the ape race's relationship is to the human race. The third film I didn't get to rewatch before seeing KOTPOTA, but iirc it was about whether humans and apes could ever coexist, which is a theme we see continued in this movie, albeit in a slightly different way. Either that or more likely it was about whether apes will repeat the same mistakes as humans.

Anyway, I digress. In the script we already see a rich culture emerging in hints, right from the start of the movie. It's in the hunt for the eagle eggs at the beginning with mentions of some kind of coming-of-age ceremony, followed by Noa reminding Anaya and Soona that they must "leave one egg always. It is the law." Already in the first five minutes we've established that this particular ape civilization not only has cultural traditions surrounding youth and coming-of-age, but also rituals and laws surrounding their relationship with and the conservation of nature. And through dialogue we extrapolate that these apes have bonded animals (eagles). It honestly felt like a crossover between Native American Indian hunting practices and How To Train Your Dragon, which is wild I know. (Also can we talk about how the eagles in this movie actually made eagle sounds???? And not falcon sounds! Finally we're breaking the bad habit of making up animal noises to sound cooler when the original already sounded super cool by itself.)

So in just a few minutes guys!! We already have so much. Then the trio heads back to the village and has their first encounter with the Echoes (Ekos? If anyone could get spelling on that for me that would be fantastic) but are too afraid (or law-bound) to get too close to or cross through the tunnel "into the valley below". So through these we establish that there is a taboo around not just humans but also around leaving the village. The clan has taken an isolationist approach wherein they not only forbid their young clan members from leaving but also withhold information about the outsiders from them until they've come of age. Guys the cultural system arising here is absolutely wild. Like sorry not sorry but I eat this stuff up. (Screenwriters-- this is prime example material of "show don't tell")

There's also all of the ape social communication rules that we've already gotten used to, mainly a variation of the palm-up/palm-down gesture as a means of showing respect (submission) and asking for permission/approval.

In this movie however the hands are mostly closed and the palms are down for the sub as well as the ape they're seeking approval from, as opposed to the trilogy in which the submitting ape always had their palm up. At first I chalked this up to cultural differences among clans since we learned that this clan is not the clan descended from Caesar's apes in the trilogy, but then Caesar's descendants were doing it this way too? So I don't really know what to make of it but I'm going to decide that it's just global cultural evolution (at least, as global as the real-world evolution of Old English into modern English).

Through the production design of the beginning sequence in Eagle Village, we see that the eagles catch fish and then the vast quantities of fish and the smokehouse indicate that fish caught by the eagles are the main source of food for the Eagle Clan. We also see feathers as a motif throughout, worn especially by the parents and the elders as a sign of social status (we know it's social status bc Sylva rips it off of one of the elders as an intimidation tactic and everyone audibly gasps, indicating it worked). That last bit is honestly more costume design, they popped off too but one thing at a time or I'm going to become incomprehensible. I will repeat myself. It is inevitable.

Then throughout the film we learn that not only do they adhere strictly to the "law", but that that law is set by the elders alone. We also learn that they primarily relate to their eagles by singing to them which!!! is just!!!! so!!! metal!!! I love it. The way it plays into the end scene with Proximus just AGHRGHJHRHGR GROWL BARK BARK FERAL NOISES>

ahem

Also we see them building nests at home for their eagles and they've figured out falconry tools for the aerie and everything on their own like??

Then in contrast we see what's left of Caesar's clan, it's descendants. Proximus Caesar, we learn later from Trevathan, has gone completely fangirl over the ancient roman empire and decided to emulate it because "he likes it" and it makes him "feel good" (yeah he's probably the most textbook tyrant I've ever seen in media), choosing to morph Caesar's teachings into his own new worldview rather than adhering to them properly.

So the culture of Caesar's clan is very heavily roman-influenced, often copying practices outright such as the insitution of slavery, a lot of the fashion choices and even the way that banners are put up around the camp and the way that Proximus dines at a low-set table filled with an overabundance of food. And he has a throne and crown, and there are roman numerals inscribed on both his and Sylva's necklaces. But we still see influences of Caesar's original society, most noticeably the persistence of the window symbol and the architecture of the dam. The architecture wouldn't be significant at all, instead being noted as a stylistic choice for the whole series, if it weren't for the fact that it's different from Eagle Clan's architecture.

If Eagle Village resembles those spaghetti bridges that engineers build for class, with thatched roofs, then the dam at Caesar Clan's camp is much more brutalist by comparison. Eagle Clan was very spindly and focused on height and lightness of building materials: many of the logs were thinner and longer, more spaced out, and sometimes rounded at the ends. By contrast, Caesar Clan's dam is built with stumpier logs, closer together, and spiked at the top. The dam is also shored up with soil and other materials. Which yeah, is typical of beaver dams but is also typical of the structures in the original Caesar's village in the trilogy.

Unfortunately, there's only one image currently available of Eagle Village and it's after it was burned down. But you can still see how it differs from Caesar's village, instead of being chaotic it's more organized, allowing for a more lightweight structure.

This (below) is the closest I could get to having a picture of the dam's architecture, but you can still tell how it's more similar to OG Caesar's architecture than it is to Eagle Clan's, even though it's using a completely different building material (scrap metal instead of hewn trees).

Eagle Clan's architecture is also a further effect of how their society revolves around making a life bond with eagles, which are flying creatures. So of course they would be inclined to taller structures, especially ones that are more lightweight and have structural patterns, imitating the way that birds are built (see above).

I'll continue in part 2 as a reblog because it's 1 am and I'm running out of steam but YALL I need you to understand: It's been 6 years since the last time I had a Wes Ball film to overanalyze and rave about. I have SO MUCH to say about this film.

#kingdom of the planet of the apes #filmmaking #concept art #fiction #film #pota reboot #planet of the apes #planet of the apes trilogy #pota trilogy #wes ball #worldbuilding #culture #science fiction #cinema #cinephile

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tsuki-sennin · 1 year

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Don Don Donbrothers! Don Don Rolling and going! Don Don Donbrothers! Don Don Don Don Don Don Don... Yeah!

Rampagin’ through the streets Everyone does their part No other, better chance Our party’s about to start! Going ape in the club with the hardest beats Clock strikes, it's time to dance... Follow My way!

Feeling your soul blaze, so wild and free! Swift wings strong as a howling breeze! I run out swinging, better watch yourself! Go all out for prizes on the top shelf!

Right now we Go! (Go!) Go! (Go!) Let’s show ‘em all our power range now, Avatar Change! Go! (Go!) Don’t matter when now, don't cry! Your heart’ll still be shining bright! Blast your sorrows far away! No way you can't say, "I am the Only One"!

Don Don Donbrothers! Don Don Rolling and going Don Don Donbrothers! Don Don Don Don Don Don Don... Yeah!

That, my dear readers, was an attempt at "localizing" Win Morisaki's "Ore Koso Only One" using the approximate translation of the TV length version of the theme put on the Ranger Wiki as a base. I spent a few days on it, and I understand it's hardly perfect (what with the creative liberties I took), but I felt it's only fitting that I go big for such a force of personality as Don Momotaro.

Episode 50, of Avataro Sentai Donbrothers. Can't believe it's finally ending. Our festival's about to as the clock strikes midnight on this town. I'm obviously gonna miss this series. But like... for how bittersweet this feels, I'm not sad at all. This is the best festival I've ever been to, and we've all made some truly unforgettable memories.

There ain't ever gonna be another series like Donbrothers, but I truly hope that it inspires some absolutely batshit insane stories to be told for years to come.

So, without further ado... Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh my God.

-Haruka was a self-insert for Toshiki Inoue all along!

-Haruka wins all the things. And you know what? She's more than earned it.

-WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS INOUE

-H-Hello, Inoue-sensei!

-He and Sonoza are so proud.

-Everyone's so happy for you :)

-Ohhh, Tarou...

-No opening today, just gotta jump right into it.

-Hatanaka-san...

-Oh no, Tarou's forgetting everything

-"...did you like me putting your life on the line constantly?"

-"...I mean, at first I didn't, but then I did, y'know?"

-Haruka's seen the best and worst of humanity thanks to these weirdos.

-"Man, nobody's gonna try to claim that but you."

-Goodbye?

-Ohhh...

-Shinichi, of course, absolutely doesn't regret it.

-A fun little learning experiment.

-As transient as the clouds.

-Ohhhhh shit.

-"The most beautiful woman in the world... is me!"

-Sonona~! Our final boss.

"GIMME THAT, NERD! You're welcome, scrub lord!"

-There he is! Murakami!

-Sonoya~!

-OH SHE CAN JUST

-STEAL POWERSETS, OKAY

-He can too, okay! That's terrifying!

-Flattened like a beer can.

-Ah, yep. Relationship drama.

-I don't blame her at all, tbh.

-"Shit, this ain't a good time."

-How delightfully anti-climactic.

-A bit of self-reflection would do ya some good, doggie.

-"I'll do it full time. So other people's relationships can flourish where mine didn't."

-Murasame-kun!

-Where ya goin' buddy?

-Momoi Jumpscare.

-Hello, Tsuyoshi.

-"Oh come now, it's okay! I'm a Donbrother, remember?"

-Tarou's so proud of his little losers.

-"Sonoshi-chan."

-W

-Wiggly, what the fuck

-Sonoshi's so fucking terrified, they're about to shit gold.

-MURASAME-KUN NO

-"Our boss!"

-RESET

-WHAT

-Oh okay, Papa Jin's just free now

-There's no need for a Momoi Tarou in the current age.

-"Not my boyfriend!"

-"It's tasty. You should try one, Dad."

-HE EVEN FORGOT HIS DAD AAAAAA

-Good work, Tarou.

-Sonoi on the street corner. What will he do?

-"So like... can you help me remember everything?"

-OHHHH

-That Murakami grin.

-"You seem kinda off, man."

"H-hey, Tarou!

-Oden :)

-"Kitou Haruka. She makes manga."

-Momoi-san...

-"He's a timid little birdie."

-"Good night, Tarou-san."

-Who...

-Sonoi aaa

-Oh no

-The Condor Signal!

-Holy shit, these guys are strong.

-"Well, if it isn't little Sonoi! Where'd your boyfriend go?"

-Ewwwww, don't lick those

-He's goin' on. Leavin' us all behind.

-The executioners.

-"Tarou's left me in charge! It's my chance to do him right!"

-"The author of this manuscript wanted you to read this. ...don't worry, my name is Kaito, I run this cafe."

-Tsuyoshi and Tsubasa! CGI in arms.

-YOOOO MURASAME

-"I hate you. I'm gonna be with my friends!"

-Holy shit, Haruka was thorough.

-His little sister, his boyfriend, his friends, and himself. Don Momotaro.

-God, brutal.

-HERE HE COMES

-Hahahahahahahaha~!

-Laugh, you gotta laugh! The festival is here!

-Up on your feet! It's time to shout it loud, shout it proud!

-Absolute integrity personified! Sonoi!

-A beautiful rose has its thorns... looking to know love, Sononi!

-When something catches my interest, nothing gets in my way! Sonoza!

-The jaws that've snapped awake! Don Murasame!

-Don Dragoku! And Don Torabolt!

-Farewell, transient world! Saru Brother!

-The manga master! Oni Sister!

-The fastest getaway of all time! Inu Brother!

-Faithful pheasant! Kiji Brother!

-Here it comes

-Born from the peach! Don Momotaro!

-Yo! Nippon Ichi!

-Avataro Sentai! Donbrothers!

-TIngly tingly!

-Literally the hypest shit of all time.

-Momotaro Slash!

-He's gone.

-He vanished as he lived. In a fiery explosion brought about by his grandstanding lunacy and obsession with the people he loves.

-Criminal Couple~!

-Oh fuck, Natsumi-san.

-Damn girl, you bounced the hell back!

-Motherfucker broke the fourth wall. to give his scarf away.

-My friends! Getting the Inoue Award! ...I suppose Murasame didn't feel quite like getting up on stage today. It's alright, he's his own man.

-Oh? Who might be at the door?

-Oh thanks Auntie Yuriko.

-The delivery man :)

-We made a bond :)

-The handoff :)

-My heart feels like it's shining today.

-...I suppose whoever Mother and Don Kaito really are is a bit irrelevant, but to be honest I think I've had more than my fill.

-Thank you, old man Inoue. You're an odd fellow, but I must say, you steam a good ham.

-Big shoutouts to literally every person on this cast and crew for going far harder than they ever had any right to. The action directors, the editors, the stuntmen and women, the cops,

-And of course, thank you for watching and following along with me.

-It was a weird path, one fraught with weirdos minor and major, insane bullshit left and right, things that just happen, extremely satisfying sound design, fights like you've never seen before, plenty of love and kindness spread about, and lots of screaming. It was all worth it.

-I expect big things from you, KuwagataOhger. A supposed "King of Evil".

#donbrothers spoilers #avataro sentai donbrothers #don! don! it's a full force peachy festival!#super sentai #donbrothers

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bloodydeanwinchester · 1 year

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jenna!!!! holy shit! I totally forgot that in dream thieves, kavinsky sent gansey a picture of ronan's dick! and gansey's reaction was just "huh. that's a weird display of nationalism." I forgot just how delightfully chaotic this book was! blue making out with noah on gansey's bed??? ronan stealing the pig and totalling it??? and the grey man??? I love him so much!!! he cares about Maura so much!! and gansey calling blue after the party just to hear her tell him what's going on in her house?? I just needed to yell and be obnoxious about this book to someone. i love you!! ❤❤❤❤

OMG yesssss these are all reasons why i think this book is my favorite!!!!! the blue/noah scene is sooooo freaking good! and i totally forgot about kavinsky sending gansey a picture of ronan's dick!!!! that was so insane like they definitely hooked up???

also for some reason this ask made me think about blue lily, lily blue when gansey and blue go for a ride in the camero and she says: “We can pretend. Just once. And then we’ll never say anything about it again.” GOD i love these books so much. OH AND “It was possible that there were two gods in this church.” pynch quote of all time!!!!!!

man i reaaaally need to go back and finish rereading these books and finish the dreamer trilogy!!!!!

#love you too bee<333 #jenna.ask #trc

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kyberphilosopher · 3 years

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Fear Play

As both he and his coworker barrel towards something like insanity, Jonathon creates some fear gas to impress them.

Warning[s]: Disturbing themes, violence, torture, some sexual themes, not yet proof read Word Count: 4912

Fear play is any sexual activity involving the use of fear to create sexual arousal. Unlike masochistic tendencies, fear play does not offer the subject pleasure or arousal through a rush of endorphins, but rather a terrified mental state which triggers a release of adrenaline.

☾ ✧* ･ ☽

You. Are. Horrific.

Not openly so. Openly, you’re just like him- intelligent, collected, maybe just a little condescending to the apes in charge of Gotham’s police department. Jonathan can also see that that distaste for your fellow man, a thirst for something intangible and inexplicable to others, and a pleasure he’s noticed only occurs after closed door sessions with patients. It’s probably something horrific that happens in there, which makes you horrific by creating it.

This works, as he is also horrific.

Don’t take this the wrong way- Jonathan means it as a compliment. Horrifying is exactly the kind of thing that puts a purr in his trachea, a delightfully deadly skip in his step. When he’s bored and in need of a kicker, who could he turn to but you, and all the things you could be doing to those people when nobodies looking? It lingers on his mind at night, you know. When the man can’t sleep, he lies in bed, drowning in all the possibilities of your horrors.

You’re torturing the patients, certainly. But how? Jonathan can see the build up that occurs in people like you and him, the frustration of being trapped on earth with people nowhere as intelligent as you are. So, like Jonathan, you’re making sure more of those slob monsters are going into Arkham than Blackgate- but why? And again, what is going on behind those doors that convinces the slobs so well that they’re insane?

Something horrific.

“Good Morning, Doctor L/N,” he says, watching you as you walk by. He waits by the entrance of the asylum, the justice building, or the courthouse, every day, just to see you.

And you rarely reciprocate the verbal exchange. Sometimes you don’t even glance. Today, it’s a mixture of both. “Doctor Crane,” you say, lowly, in return, though your eyes are still dead set on the location you walk to.

Jonathan hates when that happens. He wants your attention. That’s why his whole head follows you, eyes distantly full of longing like a crushing schoolboy despite his apathetic expression, even after you’re at his back and still on the move.

“Crane!” another voice rings through the air. It grabs his attention and snaps his head back in place, which is quick to cock to the side. Jim Gordon. He comes to the Asylum often, but the Justice Building even more so.

“Mr. Gordon,” Jonathan greets back. “What a delightful surprise.”

It wasn’t really.

The older man crosses the room to where Jonathan stands in wait, blending in with the many other beige suits that fill the place. The difference is Gordon’s mustache, and the experienced eyes that command every room he steps foot in. Although Jonathan is taller, thinner, and younger, he knows Gordon wouldn’t leave him a chance if they were to start a brawl right here. Better play it a little safe.

“Hey,” Gordon puts his hands on his hips, adjusting his suit jacket in the movement. “I’ve got a question for you.”

“I can’t promise I’ve got the answer, but for this great cities police commissioner I’m sure I can make an exception.”

Jim Gordon squints his eyes briefly. He’s never liked Crane. That’s fine- Crane’s never liked Gordon either. But to be suspicious? Ah, go to hell commissioner.

“Just how many crazy people doctors does Arkham have?”

Jonathan cocks an eyebrow. “Crazy people doctors?”

“Forgot the name for it. You know, like you or Doctor L/N. The ones who run all these crazies.”

“Yes,” Jonathan Crane drawls. “Crazies. There are several low level psychologists with positions in Arkham but they hardly do anything. Doctor L/N and myself are the most competent, I’d say.”

Gordon points a lazy figure at Crane, shaking it up and down a few times. “You got your PhD at what age? Twenty two? And then you were a professor?”

“Correct, Mr. Gordon. I got my PhD in my early twenties and specialized at the university here in town. That wasn’t too long ago. Doctor L/N, I hear, did something similar along the same time.”

Gordon puts his finger away and gives a small ‘heh’. “Two geniuses, is that the case?”

“Appears that way,” Jonathan shifts his briefcase from just his right hand to the left as well.

“So I take it,” Gordon looks around the room, “that Arkham can’t spare either of you?”

Jonathan’s brows crease. The confusion in his bright, intelligent light eyes is illuminated. “Beg your pardon?”

“Police departments hoping to recruit a new doctor,” Commissioner Gordon explains. “We need a win right now. Hopin’ to find someone skilled and not one of those ‘low level’ people you mentioned. Seems you and L/N are up for the job.”

You and him? If Jonathan left, his work would be ruined. No more fear gas, no more experiments. And more importantly, he wouldn’t get to be with you anymore. He wouldn’t get the pleasure of being infatuated with you. And if you left, the outcome would be the same. The only difference is that your work would destroyed, whatever that may be.

Jonathan gives a dry scoff. “Well, you said it yourself. These crazies need someone to run them. I doubt things would be well if the good doctor or I were to leave our stations.”

Gordon squints his eyes once more, tipping his head down. “I take it this means you’re not interested, Crane?”

“Hardly. I can say the same for Doctor L/N.”

“Are you sure?” Gordon pushes. “I’d rather ask myself, if that’s okay with you.”

“No, that’s alright,” Jonathan forces a smile. One that scares Jim Gordon just a bit, and gives him the message of ‘back off’. But it’s just a smile. “Being the two smartest people in the building, Doctor L/N and I are close. I’m certain they’re not interested in your little shindig.”

Gordon is still for a long time. Not a long, long time. But a moment, at least. Jonathan can see the gears in the Police Commissioner’s brain turning, but what’s the old man going to do? He’s got no reason to suspect either you or Crane of anything. It’s not as if he can simply pull out his gun and shoot Jonathan.

The older man takes a step away, then steps back as if he’d forgotten something. “Has anyone ever told you you remind people of Ichabod Crane?” Jim says, walking off.

Jonathan watches him. “Scarcely,” he mutters coldly under his breath.

☾ ✧* ･ ☽ ☾ ✧* ･ ☽

In 18 days, it will be Halloween.

As children, one might spend the day making All-Hallows-Eve related crafts. Then they’d go home, put on their costume, and spend a good chunk of the evening walking from house to house with an ever growing sack of candy. Although this varies over time as children get older, the core of it is the same. It’s only in adulthood that it fades into a jealous memory.

For example, Jonathan prefers to be around groups of people on the holiday so that he may practice new ways to scare them. Sometimes it’s by popping from the bushes by his house at the trick or treaters, or by tampering with the local corn mazes scarecrow in some twisted way. He’s creative, he may improvise from year to year. Regardless of what you’d like to do in this occasion, you will spend Halloween in Arkham.

Over the years, it’s become common knowledge that teenagers like to tamper with the asylum (or use it for sex), and are often met by guards who resolve the matter… with confrontation. Officially, you’re there as an extra pair of eyes against Halloween shenanigans. In reality, you’ll only have your eyes on the inmates inside, keeping them in and others out. You find this time of year is often emotional for them.

But every once in a while, maybe every three years, some idiot will sneak into the asylum early. They’re usually high or drunk, usually some really out of it teenager who sprinted past the guards and hopped the fence to find out whether Arkham Asylum is haunted or not.

In this case, the teenager is both drunk and high, sporting a swollen eye as he’s carried by the arms by two guards. Dragged, more like. His dirty boots skid against the tile while his ratty head hangs low. “Gonna sue you,” he slurs like a mantra. “Sue all your families.”

One of the guards, a young, angry man named Daren nods to you as he carries the kid past yourself and down the long, nearly empty hallway. You slow down your walk until you’re stopped, Daren and his partner following suit.

“Gentlemen,” you greet. “Who’s this?”

Daren shakes the boys shoulder roughly. “Found him in the lobby trying to unscrew one of the air vents,” he chides. “Fucker didn’t even have a screwdriver.”

Now that you’re closer, you can inspect to your liking. The teenager is white, with pink and red pimples across his face. Despite this, you can see how he’d be popular among girls at his school. His dark, broad eyebrows frame his brown eyes perfectly, which are brightened by a sense of extroversion. His lips are chapped and his hair is a shaggy mess of black, but his chin and jaw are sharp. You can smell the heavy alcohol on his flannel.

He’s just a normal kid. There’s an injury on his ankle that coincides with a sport such as lacrosse or soccer, leading you to believe he may be somewhat of a jock. Does he have a girlfriend? No. He keeps several girls entertained though, making them think they have a chance if he needs anything. He’s never mean to them though. His favorite teacher is probably a coach. Not a bad person, not a great person- normal. Perfectly normal.

“If you’re taking him to Head Strange, I was just heading there myself. I can drop the boy off since you seem… eager to get him off your hands.”

“Are you sure?” Daren questions. “Boy wonder here is a bit of a dick.”

The boy raises his head, and with hazy eyes says, “that’s gay, pig.”

You narrow your eyes as the child spits at the ground, completely missing Daren. “Oh, I’m certain we’ll have a lovely time,” you muse. “I’ll escort him.”

The two security guards let the boy drop to the floor right then and there, still slurring whines about something. “Floor’s so dirty…”

As they leave and you crouch down to meet the boys eye level, you start with a welcoming smile. “Hello.”

The boy raises his eyes to meet yours, and something flashes in them. Suddenly, he’s timid and alert. His whole body stiffens, shrouded by goosebumps that you can see even through his clothes. “Hi,” his forces out, hoarsely.

“My name is Doctor L/N,” you say, still with a smile. “What’s your name?”

He looks back and forth between your eyes frantically, seemingly scared. “Jack.”

“Hi, Jack.” You wet your lips. “Jack, I know you think it’s Halloween… you do, don’t you?”

Jack nods slowly.

“Yeah? Well I’m sorry to tell you this, Jack, but Halloween isn’t for a couple of weeks. Seems like you got your days mixed up.” Your hand reaches out and clasps on the boys shoulder reassuringly. It tenses beneath you.

“It’s actually Friday, October 13th. Now Jack, most of us don’t even have our costumes yet. I think I have some back in my office, though. I’ll let you pick something out for yourself while I call your parents. Does that sound okay? Why don’t you come with me, Jack, and we’ll get you sorted out.”

☾ ✧* ･ ☽ ☾ ✧* ･ ☽

Jonathan holds his briefcase in one hand, the other opening and closing. His fingers are long and cold in contrast to the warm brown tone of today’s suit and red tie. He swallows once as you approach.

“Good morning, Doctor L/N,” Jonathan tells you, eyes following as you walk by.

“Crane,” you respond simply, not even sparing a look as you open a door into a court room.

“Happy testimony,” the good doctor continues, but you’re already disappearing through the doorway with no sign you even heard him.

God, Jonathan wants your attention so bad. He wants you to look at him. Throwing yourself at his feet isn’t required, even if he’s thought about it once or twice. He wouldn’t say no to that. Jonathan also wants to study you, to peak into your brilliant brain and watch you do your horrific acts. He wants to know what they are. He needs it.

Look at him. Please, just look at him. God damn it, why don’t you ever look? How can Jonathan prove to you he’s worthy of your time, of your mind? How can he get your attention? Get you to look at him?

Jonathan has to convince you that he’s on your team.

☾ ✧* ･ ☽ ☾ ✧* ･ ☽

“Doctor L/N.”

Jonathan Crane greets you as he always does in the morning. He speaks with a nod, watching you, always waiting for something or someone by the entrance of either the courthouse or the asylum you work. He is a pale and thin man, tall, with dark hair and piercing eyes that see everything. His outfits are almost always the same in essence- a suit and vest with a tie, always in muted colors.

Today, however, Jonathan does not stay by the entrance of Arkham Asylum. He turns in his position to follow your path, walking until he joins you at your side. It’s not long with how long his legs are.

“Doctor Crane,” you return the sentiment as you realize you won’t be able to ignore it today. “Walking together this morning?”

Crane matches your focused pace as he undoes a button of his jacket with one hand. “Well, I figured since we are the leading psychologists in this looney bin it wouldn’t hurt anyone to make an entrance.”

“I’d assume you’re here for something, Doctor Crane?” You flash your badge to a guard who clears you with a flick of his hand.

“Oh, I guess there could be something,” Jonathan furrows his brows in mock thought. “The other day I was passing through the the bottom floor of this place and I thought I heard screaming. Sounded like a young boy- you know how these pranksters get.”

Your pace slows. Your eyes however, stay locked on the area ahead, only widening slightly as Jonathan continues.

“Despite the curious man I am, I decided to leave the area at once. I suppose my mind was playing tricks on me, but I could’ve sworn I felt goosebumps.”

You hum. “And did you alert anyone of this supposed screaming?”

“No, Doctor L/N, I did not.”

Now you look at him. Your pace slows until you come to a stop, with the man copying your movements.

“I respect the minds power over the body, Doctor L/N. I would not interfere with my own when it tells me something.”

The hallway you’ve stopped in is dark and empty. The only other person inside exits through a door you just stepped through.

“That’s a very evolved stance, Doctor Crane,” you say. He’s so tall, you almost have to roll your head all the way back to look up at him. But you find it’s hard to look away, what wither the desperate and longing look in his eyes. “But might I ask why you’re telling me about this delusion?”

“You think it was a delusion?”

“This is an asylum, Doctor Crane. Screaming isn’t uncommon here. But the bottom floor hasn’t been used in years. How could someone do that there? And why? I take excellent care of my patients.”

Jonathan’s eyes glance up and down your face. “I’m not crazy, Doctor L/N, but I suspect you are.”

You’re silent, studying his face. His orbs never stop moving, drinking up every detail on your face as if in the name of science. You can feel them moving over your facial imperfections lastly, however, as if he’s done this multiple times before.

“I’d like you to come see something, Y/N,” Jonathan continues. “Please, consider it a gift.”

“Oh?” You quirk a brow.

“I think you’ll find you like it.”

“And if I don’t?”

Jonathan’s eyes flicker back and forth between your own. They’re a pale, icy blue, lined with intelligence and depth. His lashes are dark and framed by perfect brows, not a hair noticeably out of place.

“I assure you,” Jonathan swallows, maintaining eye contact. “You will.”

You hold his stare for a moment, before rolling your orbs to the end of the hall. “I’ve got a very attentive day, Doctor Crane. I’m sure your encounter in the basement was nothing more than a spur of the moment trick of your brain. I’m satisfied as is in my… current line of experiments. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be seeing my first patient.”

“Doctor L/N.”

You roll your eyes towards the ceiling in thought before stopping in place, and turning on your heel. Even from this distance, you can see the pale glint in your colleagues eyes.

“I don’t think you understand,” Doctor Crane begins. “I want you to see what I can do.”

It sounds like a beg.

What he can do? You’re well aware of all that. Mostly it seems to be a mixture of watching you and accomplishing the job he got that damned PhD for.

Your eyes narrow, leaning your head forwards slightly as you speak, tone low. “I don’t care.”

You walk away from him. Footsteps echoing off the walls, lights flickering over head. God, Gotham is a godamn joke. You’re nearing the next door to open when you hear him speak again.

“I’ll be seeing you during lunch, Doctor L/N.”

You pause, but Jonathan is silent. The right hand attached to you pulls the door open and you disappear through it.

☾ ✧* ･ ☽ ☾ ✧* ･ ☽

You do not think of Jonathan Crane often.

Why would you? You don’t need him for anything. He’s not your friend. He’s just a guy at work. Hell, you don’t think of anyone. Again, why would you?

And you’re well aware of Jonathan’s long standing little crush on you. It’s been a bit hard to miss. The funny thing is, you’re not sure why he looks at you so. You’ve never talked much. You’re not close. Never even shown signs of being close. And obviously you’ve never planned on getting close. So why you? Why is it that he’s the one you see every morning? It’s goddamn distracting. He just won’t leave you alone.

Work starts at 8:45 today. At 9:01, you share an annoying encounter with the mother of an apparent coworker. She’s a smiley woman who clasps your arm in her wrinkled fingers and wishes you well. You secretly wish her death. At 10:45, Jonathan walks past your office. You know because you see him through the window on your door, and he doesn’t spare a glance. At 11:30 you realize it approaches the designated lunch time. And at 12:03, you stare at the clock on the wall.

He’s waiting, isn’t he? It doesn’t matter, because you’re not going to see him. Who’s him? What is his name? You can’t recall.

You finish your paperwork at 12:45, take a deep breath of thought at 12:46, and the continue work at 12:48. Lunch ends at 1PM, at which point you have not seen or met Dr. Crane. As most days, you’ve skipped through your lunch for no particular reason at all, which makes it, of course, just another day. At 1:01, it continues.

It’s at 2:30 that you put your pen down. You had been filling out paperwork concerning your opinion on the mental health of a patient. You know that objectively the inmate had shown progress compared to when he was first inducted. Enough progress, perhaps, to have him transferred out of Arkham. However, you do what you do for all your patients.

Shows Homicidal Tendencies. Recommended For Restrictive Care.

But that doesn’t linger in your mind as your pen goes down. All that lingers is your current line of experiments, lying all the way down at the bottom floor of your workplace. And beneath the bottom floor... well... who’s to say?

You pick up your pen again to resume finishing the paper at 2:33. At 2:45, you’re in a small room for an appointment with an annoying, disorderly woman you’ve known for the past six months. Today, she tells you that she saw a large, black cat jumping from roof to roof of the city through her window at night. It’s not her most unbelievable story- usually it’s something about a large, black bat jumping from roof to roof. Good to see she has some diversity in her creative streak.

You’ve not thought of anyone in your whole life as much as Crane today. It’s just been about him, him, him, with short breaks of what truly matters in between. You’d say it’s aggravating, but it doesn’t matter enough to be aggravating. Not even a fly on the wall to you.

At 6:01, you decide you want him dead.

☾ ✧* ･ ☽ ☾ ✧* ･ ☽

Jonathan Crane was rather disappointed you didn’t take him up on his offer.

He is your equal, you just don’t see that.

But at 6:06PM, something peculiar happens. While in an appointment with a patient, in a small, cream colored room, the door suddenly slips open. How unexpected? Guards and outsiders know that while a Doctor is with a patient, others are not to disturb them. So why now?

Oh, it’s you. It’s you, and Jonathan’s so happy.

You close the door quietly, tilting your head upwards slightly as you observe the tiny area. Jonathan’s full lips still, parting as he watches you mid sentence. Glasses, you notice. Has he always had those? Yes. You suppose he has.

Jonathan snaps out of it, turning back to the man in the straight jacket seated ahead of him. “Several people find that dealing with their fear head on is a powerful enough conclusion to their trauma,” he continues saying. “Have you given any thought to this? I remember noting telling you about this in our last session.”

The man in the straight jacket looks up to the ceiling in thought. He’s on the older side, thin, with short grey hair and stoic eyes.

“Here,” Jonathan decides. He sits his palms on his knees and nods. “I’m going to have a word with Doctor L/N here while you think about what I said.”

When Jonathan stands, the look on his face is... hungry. Knowing. He towers over you, thin and pale, the cool light from above glinting the ice in his irises.

You clasp your hand around the door handle from behind, and push it down and open. Jonathan meets you in the hallway and closes it promptly. Then he stares down at you, thinking. He’s thinking hard. You can see in the twitch of Doctor Crane’s lips the he wants to almost smile. He’s just holding himself back. From what? From you?

“You came,” Jonathan observes, half to himself.

“Well I need to be home soon,” you explain, suddenly feeling cold. A rush of sparks sting your pelvis. Your eyes widen slightly, feeling more awake. No matter. “I have a few prior engagements to attend to tonight, Doctor Crane. Is your... gift still available?”

Jonathan leans forward, licking his bottom lip. He won’t give your eyes a moments peace, staring into them like it’s the only thing left to look at in the world. “Of course,” he decides, finally. “Yes. Of course.”

The man opens the door once more, placing his hand over the top to hold it open before signaling you to duck under his arm and through. You do so, inhaling silently while you listen to the ominous click of the door locking.

“Forgive the intrusion, Mr. Godsby,” Jonathan begins. “This is Doctor L/N, another psychologist here in Arkham. I’ve invited them in while I run an experiment. Doctor L/N?”

You turn to face him. Behind you, he crosses the room and bends down to shift through the notorious briefcase you always see him with, by the chair he previous sat in. When your eyes glance down to unwittingly take a look inside, your heart jumps slightly.

Dust booms out. Green and... orange dust. Then syringes. Needles. Gloves. A-

“Please put this on, Doctor L/N.”

Jonathan’s big eyes look up at you. On his knees, his open hands extend a gas mask to you.

Slowly, your tentative fingers wrap around the leather. Jonathan stands and watches you once more, though now you dare not meet his eyes. Instead you step back slowly, pads of your fingers feeling over the mask.

What’s this for? You mean, what does this lead to?

Jonathan’s sharp and commanding tone steals you from your wondering.

“Put it on, Y/N.”

Jonathan Crane has never- never- said your first name before. With wide eyes and a pooling heat between your legs, you fumble with the mask before you tie it around your nose and mouth. It settles as you clasp it into place. Now your heart is thumping. Goosebumps of anticipation lines up your arms and down your neck.

“Now, Mr. Godsby,” Jonathan begins. “Before we begin, I’d like you to know this is not a personal matter.”

The man perks up, speaking in a gravelly voice. “Well, I thought about-”

“Facing your fears, Mr. Godsby? I’m well aware. And luckily, I’ve come to help.”

Jonathan reaches his arms up, and over his head. A mask of burlap settles over his striking face, leaving only stretch holes for his eyes. It’s simple, however slightly deliciously unsettling, relying on the dirtiness of fabric for whatever is about to happen.

“Your mask is on, Doctor Y/N?”

You nod before you realize he can’t see you from his view. It doesn’t seem to matter, he rolls right ahead anyway.

Leaning down, Crane pushes a single index finger over the dust covered floor, gathering it. Then he sits up straight, shifting slightly.

“You were valuable, Mr. Godsby,” he begins. “Please do remember, this wasn’t personal. I mean that. But you... need to lighten up.”

Through the mask, he huffs hard. The colorful particles fly through the air, spreading out like a tree. Although settling mostly in a line over the table, it carries onto Mr. Godsby gracefully.

First, the man twitches his nose as if he has the sudden urge to sneeze. Then his eyes close tight, brows creasing, before popping open and blinking rapidly. You recognize this look immediately- fear. You can see the heart rate inside of him increase, the sweat beading the size of a bullet above his temples.

“W-what is this?” he stutters.

Jonathan, bless the man, slams his palms flat on the table with a bang. “Frightened yet?” he calls out, enthralled with the man who now tosses and turns in his binds.

Then he screams. A deep, throaty, loud and cathartic yell that makes you bite your lip and watch him with passion. He looks scared. No not scared- horrified. He rolls his head back and exposes his wrinkled throat, seemingly in pain as he cries out for someone who will not come. He screams and cries until finally, his lungs give out. The man slumps forward over on the silver table, white as a sheep.

Jonathan stares at his work, wide eyed. Truthfully, his own heart is racing. He can feel the blood pumping throughout his body, not with fear, but excitement. He’s always careful not to inhale his chemicals himself when he’s working with them. And, of course, wanting to let it be a surprise to you, he’d let you have the gas mask, since you didn’t know.

You!

Jonathan pulls the mask from his head, leaving his hair a mess and his eyes wild as he twists in the chair to look back at you.

But your eyes are already on him. Wide themselves, your fingers reach up to unclasp the mask.

Did he do it? Finally?

Yes, it seems he did. Because as Jonathan’s broad chest heaves up and down, your awestruck eyes stare at him with wonder, your lips curving into a smile.

☾ ✧* ･ ☽ ☾ ✧* ･ ☽

Happy Halloween everyone! Remember to stay safe to all that celebrates. I will certainly go back and proof read this later, but I’ve got a halloween party to attend in an hour and I haven’t even started getting ready yet. Also, this is a piece that will most likely get a part ii, so don’t worry your little heads. I also apologize for how messy this got I’m in a rush but I wanted to release it for halloween so fuck y’all.

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wrightaboutthat · 3 years

Text

Collegial Support ~A Narumitsu One-Shot~

Summary: “I could not stop thinking about you this morning. And it’s landed me in quite the...predicament.” A desperate cry for help brings Phoenix Wright into the Chief Prosecutor's office. The reasoning, however, is beyond anything he could have imagined.

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Office Sex, Fluff and Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Oral Sex, Frottage, Desperation, Riding, all these tags but they're still so incredibly in love your honor, basically just them trying to one up adoration the entire time, Vaguely Set After AA4, no beta we die like miles' self control, Oh and I forgot the Lawyer Cult tags-neck kiss o'clock, Horny Lawyers, Miles Edgeworth is sent to the moon

Additional Notes: Hello everyone! I'm so anxiously excited for this one. I'm still trying to find my footing with this pairing, but couldn't help but dive headfirst into some good ol' office loving. Soundproofing in prosecutorial spaces is a blessing, actually. I'm so obsessed with how much these two adore each other, and subsequently so obsessed with bringing that element to light!

Super happy to finally share this with you all, and shoutout to the Lawyer Cult/the *cough hack* Hivemind for offering encouragement along the way! The excitement and support offered necessary boosts to keep going, so I appreciate you all <3. Hope you enjoy!

You can also read the work on AO3 here [x]

Phoenix was nothing but casual whistles as he strolled through rival territory. Nothing was out of the ordinary; it had been a regular day, a regular workload, and regular chain of beckoning messages on his phone.

“Wright?”

“Hey baby. What’s up?”

“Are you busy currently?”

“Not really, why?”

“Come to my office at your earliest convenience. I require your assistance.”

“Be over soon <3”

He had wrapped things up, left matters in capable hands, and headed over to the Prosecutor Building. It was not an unusual sight, as everyone in the space immediately recognized his intentions. Thus, unimpeded and contented, did he journey up to the office of utmost desire, mentally preparing for cases and kisses a plenty.

But walking into his partner’s office changed that. Where he expected to find Miles sitting at his desk, he instead found him standing on the opposite side. Where he expected to immediately catch those gorgeous silver eyes, he instead found a tense, burgundy backside. And where he expected to find the usual poised posture, he instead found a pose of what appeared to be frustration. For whatever reason, the normally composed man was leant over the mahogany, head hung and hands fisted.

Any manner of salutation died in his throat, instead being replaced with a concerned inquiry as he strolled forward.

“Miles? Is something wrong?”

He watched as Miles sighed harshly, but remained frozen in his spot.

“I would say so, yes,” he grumbled, his baritone deeper and thicker than usual.

“What is it?” Phoenix asked, coming up to his partner’s side and seating himself on the edge of the desk.

Again, Phoenix was expecting something work-related. Perhaps one of the other prosecutors was ill-performing. Or maybe a case was quickly getting too complicated. There wasn’t much that seemed to shake the sturdy foundation that was Miles Edgeworth after all; he was poised, stoic, and powerful. So he prepared himself for something of an intellectual explanation, quietly observing and waiting.

He watched as Miles slowly brought his head up, his bangs shifting and continuing to border his face. He heaved another heavy sigh, and still continued to avoid eye contact. Phoenix felt his wavy brows furrow tighter, but he held his tongue. Eventually, Miles did end up breaking the silence, albeit in gritted, deep tones.

“It would appear that certain...matters...are spiraling out of control.”

“Such as?”

Another sigh, another grumble, and another pause. Miles’ head seemed to dip back down then, grey hairs effectively hiding his visage away.

“It’s abhorrent.”

“Okay?” Phoenix softly pressed, “What’s going on?”

There was another pregnant pause then, the air growing noticeably thicker. Despite the uptick in tension, the oddity of it all, Phoenix didn’t take his eyes off his partner, patiently waiting for an answer. He noted that Miles almost seemed to be trembling, something that earned a tautness in his throat. Still, the possible explanations swirling through his head didn’t even come close to what was eventually uttered.

“...Infernal physiological processes, ones that have never hindered me in the past.”

What?

Mismatched eyes blinked numerous times, attempting to make sense of the unexpected shift. What did that even mean? Sleep troubles? Anxieties? A bad craving for burgers from being around the kids for too long?

“I don’t understand,” Phoenix said.

Miles seemed to snarl, his hands tightening against the deep mahogany. Though Phoenix couldn’t see his face, he could easily picture the deep sneer his lips had likely hiked into.

“Must you make me say it, Wright?” he hissed.

“Yeaaaah?” Phoenix drawled, nervously resting his hand upon his neck, “Because I’m not following.”

The harshest sigh of them all sounded in response, before Miles’ head drooped even lower. He seemed to take a few beats of cleansing breaths, before miraculously pivoting to catch Phoenix’s stare. Heterochromatic eyes took note of numerous elements then: the sharpness to the opposing glare, the deep furrow to his brows, the very pronounced swath of crimson beneath ivory skin, and the sporadic beads of sweat against his hairline. He certainly looked shaken, and once more did Phoenix’s brain clamber for a reason. Again, was he proven deeply wrong in a matter of seconds, the true answer utterly whiting out his entire system.

“I could not stop thinking about you this morning. And it’s landed me in quite the...predicament.”

A pin could be audible in the space if one were to fall, the office growing incredibly silent. Likely because Phoenix wasn’t even breathing; words and inhalations had utterly jammed in his throat. Outwardly, he was frozen in time, locked in the utmost surprise. Inwardly however, his subconscious was clambering and screaming. It ran through the words over and over again, attempting to process, attempting to taste. Because, there was absolutely no way that was the true reason. Despite dating Miles for a while, despite being intimate, there was no way such troubles spilled off his tongue.

So, when Phoenix finally got air moving through his lungs again, he quickly spoke his incredulousness.

“You’re kidding.”

An even deeper shade of crimson gripped Miles’ cheeks, and he ran to hide behind curtains of grey hair once more.

“No.”

“R-really, you must be joking,” Phoenix said, his hand gripping his neck a bit tighter.

“Does it look like I am?” Miles snapped.

No. It didn’t. The tension, the embarrassment, the desperation...It absolutely all checked out. And the more Phoenix processed it, the more he burrowed into the delightfully chaotic situation, the more he fell under a similar spell. The corners of lips began to twitch upwards, and his heart began to pound harder and faster within his chest. He stepped back through the situation, all the way back to the initial text messages. And when the disguising blanket draped upon “I need your assistance” was yanked off to reveal “I need you...”

“Wow, I...Wow,” he breathed, beginning to grin and chuckle all the same. When Miles simply groaned and remained silent, he couldn’t help but state the obvious, cementing them both into the humorous yet delicious reality.

“Esteemed Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth rushed me to his office because he was horny?”

Said esteemed prosecutor recoiled like he been slapped, before scrunching himself down even further.

“Don’t say it like that,” he grumbled.

But where one was falling, the other was rising; Phoenix found himself beaming more and more, amusement and interest quickly surging within.

“Ahh right, always one for eloquence,” he snickered, moving his hand upwards to run through ebony strands, “How about...Miles Edgeworth couldn’t get his rampant, raging desire under control?”

“Wright.”

Phoenix couldn’t help but giggle more. The cheerful noise pried silver eyes back in his direction, but not in a preferred manner; Miles was glaring something terrible.

“And quit laughing,” he hissed.

“I’m not laughing at you, baby,” Phoenix said, controlling his mirth but still grinning all the while, “I’m just...blown away- maybe even flattered?”

When Miles answered with nothing but an embarrassed exhalation, Phoenix couldn’t help but look on with a more sheepish expression himself.

��You’re...that attracted to me?”

“Unfortunately...” Miles sighed.

Phoenix couldn’t help but giggle once again, feeling heat spread out across numerous places in his body. He saw fit to punch through the barriers Miles was hidden behind then, reaching out with a hand to softly frame his sharp jaw.

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m insanely attracted to you too,” he murmured, giving a few strokes of his thumb, “Always have been. And you’re lucky I am because you’re an ass, and you scared me.”

“Understandable. It was...a shameful move.”

It was then that Phoenix began to grow frustrated with the frozen state of his partner. That, and he felt inclined to test the waters of attraction, to delight in the desperation Miles was trapped in. He had called him over in search of distressed release after all, so it was high time Phoenix unlocked the apprehension and allowed them both to enjoy.

His grin turned a bit slyer then, and he hopped off his mahogany perch, venturing to stand behind his Miles’ backside. Phoenix watched as burgundy stiffened even more, but before any objections could be raised, he was snaking his hands around the bent-over form. Grasping his torso, he pulled Miles upright, pulled him flush. He even went so far as to jut his hands downward, tugging that glorious behind into his already-swelling groin.

The resulting shaky gasp furthered his smile, and he was half-tempted to grind something terrible. But he held onto his composure, held onto his resolve, instead relying on words to chip away at any semblance of control. They were their art form after all, their weapon; surely they’d be just as effective at beckoning Miles into the bliss he craved.

“Yet you called me here anyway,” Phoenix whispered, easing his mouth close to Miles’ ear, “Were you just that desperate, Miles? Longing and aching?”

The effect was immediate; the room electrified and Miles stiffened immensely against him before beginning to quiver.

“W-Wright...”

The reaction caused mismatched eyes to flash, a darker sheen blanketing over the amusement. The longing and aching were quite mutual after all, Phoenix quickly venturing to the same plane. Brazenly, he flicked his tongue up the helix of Miles’ ear, before traversing into even dirtier territory.

“Yeah? Or was it because you knew I can’t exactly pass up on such an opportunity?” He barely gave Miles an opportunity to shudder or whine before he added with beam, “Almost makes me want to subvert expectations. Maybe I need to make myself less available.”

He was pleased to see Miles jerk his head, glaring at him over his shoulder.

“You wouldn’t dare...” he hissed, though his vocals were less solid than before.

“Maybe not,” Phoenix said, moving back to bite and kiss at the offered ear, “Think I’d rather pleasure you until you can’t think straight.”

Miles was definitely unraveling; his backside pressed harder against Phoenix’s tenting crotch. It was a beautiful thing, an unexpected delight. He never pictured that he’d have a Chief Prosector falling apart in his hands, rasping and begging and wanting. He felt inclined to play just a bit more, to savor the moment.

“Wright...”

“Ahh right, eloquence,” Phoenix chuckled, moving his kisses to any part of that gorgeous neck that wasn’t hidden by Miles’ cravat, “Think I’d rather dampen the- what’d you call it? Infernal psychological processes?”

“Physiological processes, darling,” Miles rasped, “Regardless, eloquence doesn’t really carry...the same effect...”

“Yeah?”

Phoenix could barely contain his smile, his excitement, licking a tantalizing trail against sweet ivory skin.

“So naughty, Miles. Yanking me here just to mess around, just to have dirty things whispered in your ear...”

“I’m...I’m certainly not proud of such crassness...”

“No? Well, that’s a shame, because-“

Phoenix finally gave a grind of his hips, drawing sharp gasps from the both of them.

“-it’s driving me absolutely wild too.”

“Phoenix...”

Phoenix managed to contain himself a bit then. He managed to keep a hold on his own hungering pelvis. Instead, he opted to hammer in the last bits of reassurance, whispered between heated kisses to neck and jaw.

“Really, Miles. Don’t worry. Just enjoy yourself, love. I’ve got you. I’m glad you rang, because I want to make you feel so, so good. I always do.”

Miles tensed, as if poised to argue further. But then with a groaning sigh, a heaving breath, he beautifully relented, his head lulling backwards against Phoenix’s shoulder.

“I love you. How is it that you put up with my nonsense?”

Phoenix grinned, a mix of triumph and bashfulness. He thirsted over newly exposed skin for a few beats, before returning such sentiments.

“I love you too. And hey, I can’t exactly complain about getting to bang the Chief Prosecutor. Kinda the opposite- I want to boast it.”

To his furthered relief and amusement, Miles lightly snorted.

“Tsk...”

But despite the lightheartedness, despite the mirth, Phoenix knew there was a duty to be fulfilled. So he plunged back into lecherousness, whispering against Miles’ ear once more.

“So I can’t wait to make you scream, and let everyone know.”

He snickered as the rested head jerked back up, Miles looking over his shoulder with wide eyes.

“Phoenix Wright,” he gasped, “Were you always this lewd?”

“Mm, maybe; it kinda can’t be helped around you. But hey, you like it.”

Before any objection could be raised, before they fell victim to further arguing, Phoenix hushed it all with just a few calculated movements: he spun Miles around, removed his glasses, and swallowed any poised words with his own mouth. He coaxed the arguments into honeyed nothingness, eased the apprehension into eagerness, and melted the tension into heat. His tongue jabbed, and his hands wandered, wrestling out every sweet little noise he possibly could. But upon plunging downward, upon feeling the extremely taut bulge that was Miles’ front, Phoenix couldn’t help but break away and stare.

“Wow, holy shit- you really like it.”

Once again, he didn’t allow time for a response; he reached to trace the delicious outline with a hand, before giving the entire area a sharp squeeze. Miles of course, immediately acted accordingly. Being so pent up, so deprived, so hungry, his entire body practically rolled from the sensation, coupled with a strangled noise of approval.

“N-nngh...”

And that was the utmost green light. That was all Phoenix needed to leap into action. His eyes flashed with a darker sheen, a hotter spark, and he slipped his hands around Miles’ hips.

“Alright. Enough making you wait- let’s take care of you, sweetheart, hmm?”

“You’re far too good to me...” Miles panted.

“Because I adore you,” Phoenix said simply, before tugging him close, “Now c’mere...”

They locked into a passionate kiss then, one that quickly grew heated, desperate. Mouths wandered like they were each other’s quenching thirst in the desert, the first meal after starvation. Groans, whimpers, and shaky breaths sounded in a libidinous melody, cutting through the silence of thickened office air. And although Phoenix’s mind quickly began to grow woozy with lust, he still acted with his beloved in mind. Not breaking their connection, he softly ushered Miles back around his large wooden desk, guiding him back to his leather chair. And when the constrained hips began to grind, began to search for that fiery friction, Phoenix proceeded further.

He broke their kiss for the purpose of latching his mouth to area just beneath Miles’ jaw, sucking and staking his claim. As he did so, his hands wandered downward once more, fishing for the belt and fly that constricted his love so.

“Wr-Wright...” Miles whimpered, the cracking tonality pure music to Phoenix’s ears. Still, with a heated kiss followed by bite, did he voice his motives.

“You’ve no idea how much I want to get beneath this,” he breathily chuckled, briefly tugging on the damn cravat with his teeth, “But that’s not exactly the most pressing matter, now is it?”

His fingers were deft then, working at the devilish constraints and unzipping the burgundy slacks. Another teasing squeeze was offered to the ever-growing bulge, but when the touch earned a yelp, Phoenix denied no longer. He plunged a hand into soft fabric, grasped his lecherous prize, and finally pulled it free. He removed himself from Miles’ neck just in time to witness him groan with relief, his head lulling and his chest heaving. But unsurprisingly, were heterochromatic eyes drawn downward, marveling in the sight that awaited.

“God...You’re so stunning, Miles.”

And he was; he was utterly engorged and ready. The utmost desire was palpable, what with the tip weeping something terrible. Various twitches and jerks also complimented the display, Miles’ body practically screaming at Phoenix to proceed.

Proceed he did; he nudged Miles backwards and downwards, guiding him to sit. He wasted no time in kneeling betwixt shivering legs, spreading them further and allowing for more space. A second of admiration had to be given, before he finally nestled close, ghosting his breath across Miles’ center. Such an action earned a needy whimper, Miles reaching with a shaky hand towards Phoenix’s head.

“M-May I?” he rasped, just barely touching ebony strands.

“Do whatever you need,” Phoenix said, licking his lips and readying himself. Normally, he would be inclined to tease and taste. Normally, he would give kisses and licks before he consumed. Normally, he would take the time to marvel in Miles’ beauty. But with how heated the situation was, with how noticeable the tremors were, he skipped right over the normal proceedings. All he offered was a kiss to the dripping head, before steadying the shaft with a hand.

“I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.”

“T-thank you...”

The gasped words of appreciation died with the following actions. Phoenix guided Miles fully into his mouth, taking as much as he could possibly manage. As he slid downwards, eyes trained upwards, attempting to watch the reaction such relief earned. It was well worth it; Miles practically rolled like a wave, his head craning back, his free hand gripping one of the rests, and his mouth falling agape.

“O-oh fuck...Phoenix, thank you...”

The expletive rolling off such an esteemed tongue made brown and blue flash, kindling a new spark of determination within. Phoenix eased back, slipped a limp leg over his shoulder, and took Miles deeply again. He hollowed out his cheeks then, watching as the suction took its effect.

“A-ah!” Miles gasped, bringing a hand to his mouth and biting upon his fingers. He likely wouldn’t last long. Beginning actions were almost drawing forth cries already. So Phoenix slipped back once more, before finally starting his rhythmic bobs.

The office turned into a medley of strained pleasure then. Slurps, hums, and moans sounded from Phoenix, complimented by expletives, whimpers, and hissed praises from Miles. The hand against Phoenix’s head didn’t demand more- rather, it tugged against black hairs, communicating the mounting ecstasy. Still, even without guidance, did Phoenix go deeper still, proceeding until he lightly gagged. But despite the discomfort, despite the tears welling in his eyes, he was undeterred.

For he was driving Miles insane and he knew it. The divine baritone he was so accustomed to had rocketed upwards in pitch. The legs that were normally so sturdy and strong had become something of gelatin. The control which Miles normally wielded so well had all but dissipated, sharp noises and hissed vocals increasing in volume and frequency.

“Oh, Phoenix...F-fuck...L-love you...Just like that...”

It was fuel for Phoenix, stoking the inner flames. He grasped his perch a bit tighter, and sped up his movements, groaning and slurping all the while. Fluid was dribbling down his chin, and the occasional tear dripped down his cheeks, but still, he continued. It didn’t matter that his own slacks were painfully tenting. It didn’t matter that his knees ached. It didn’t matter that his jaw was starting to tire. It was all for Miles. And he intended to absolutely see it through to the end.

An end which did indeed seem fast approaching; the hand which had gripped Phoenix’s hair shakily traveled downward, feebly grasping at the working jaw.

“P-please...I’m- Phoenix, I’m a-about to...”

It was a crackling warning that went unheeded. It was a vague instruction that went ignored. Instead of backing away, Phoenix slid deep once again, switching between sucks and swirls of his tongue. He even went so far as to reach with a hand, moving to fondle whatever he could. And that was it. The stimulation reached its utmost peak. Miles’ pelvis tensed immensely, before giving a mighty quake.

“G-God I’m- ah!”

The sharp cry matched the intensity of the first spurt within Phoenix’s mouth. The force made him startle slightly, but he quickly relaxed, eagerly drinking in the release. He hummed a single note as he captured the bursts, taking everything completely in. But to the beautiful torture of Miles, he did not cease with his suction; between swallows, he continued to work his lecherous efforts, efforts which quickly took effect.

“Ah- Ph-Phoen- Ah!”

He pushed through the growing sensitivity, pushed through the crests, fully intent on overwhelming Miles with the deserved pleasure. Cries ventured more towards yells, shivers more towards jerks, those handsome vocals choking off in the utmost ecstasy.

“Phoenix!”

Mismatched eyes ventured to take in the scene. Miles was arched against the chair, gripping the leather like he was holding on for dear life. Moisture dripped down his ivory skin, likely a mixture of tears and perspiration. And when he quickly clapped a hand over his mouth and released a muffled noise that surely would have been a scream, most would normally cease their efforts. But Phoenix remained. Phoenix continued. He stayed until the pulses slowed, the bursts stopped, and the cries blubbered. Only then, did he release Miles from his mouth with a smack, sitting back on his legs to admire his work.

It was like Miles had been reduced to a burgundy puddle, utterly limp against the chair. He quivered and heaved, his pants shaking as he fought for breath. An occasional whimper slipped through his lips, an aftershock or two likely traversing through his system. But he appeared satisfied, appeared entirely sated.

Phoenix ran his tongue across soiled lips, before wiping at his mouth further with the back of his hand. He massaged his jaw for a beat or two, before smirking at the handsome mess before him. Though his knees groaned, he slowly stood up and straddled Miles’ lap. And, being mindful of his positioning, he eased himself to sit, before nuzzling close.

He couldn’t help himself then; he felt inclined to finally rid Miles of the dreaded fabric barrier. He softly tugged at the various loops, and struggled a bit, as per usual. But soon enough, did he finally unwind the cravat, tugging it free and revealing his favorite expanse of skin. Phoenix sighed a bit at the sight, before grinning and easing close. Seeing as Miles was still recovering, he didn’t leap for fervent, desperate kisses; instead, he opted for gentle, for reverent, easing his mouth over dewy skin.

To his delight, Miles softly moaned, his quivering hands easing around Phoenix’s back to hold him close. The soft kisses continued, coupled with a few sucks here and there. Phoenix carried on, even with his crotch atrociously swollen, and with rasped words from his beloved breaking the silence.

“Oh, darling...My dear love...”

Phoenix’s beam grew at the endearment, a delightful blush easing across his cheeks. Through his smile, through his affections, he of course returned the praise.

“Hmm...You did so well, sweetheart...”

Miles’ hands gripped Phoenix’s back a bit tighter, holding him close in a messy embrace.

“I love you...” he said through his slowing breaths, “You’re astounding...”

“I love you too,” Phoenix replied, offering one more kiss before leaning back. He watched as Miles craned his head back against the chair, continuing to wheeze and come down from his high. While the sight was satisfying to see, it caused a rather devious smirk to form.

“But don’t get too tired on me now.”

Wrinkled burgundy tensed beneath him, almost as if Miles was holding his breath. His grin intensifying, Phoenix leaned close once more, offering another kiss to that desirable neck before adding, “I’m not finished with you yet.”

Miles’ head was quick to snap back up, stunned eyes locking with smug.

“P-pardon?!”

“I said I wanted to make you feel good, remember?”

“Y-yes but...Phoenix, you already have. You’ve done everything and more.”

“And you were the one who gave the horny summons in the first place.”

“I-inconsequential!” Miles hissed with a furious blush to match, a sight that tugged a laugh from Phoenix. “If anything, it’s high time I return the favor. Your slacks are absolutely bursting at the seams.”

“Heh; the Chief Prosecutor has a perverted eye.”

“Phoenix.”

The biting tone hushed any further cheeky comments. When Phoenix quieted, Miles softened, sighing and reaching with a hand.

“Let me see you,” he said, cupping Phoenix’s face, “And give you what you desire.”

“You will. And I desire more of you.” Phoenix shied away from the touch, leaning close to Miles’ ear once again. He offered the sensitive area a kiss, before smirking and purring more libidinous motives. “I want to be inside you...”

To his delight, he could feel the shakiness that quaked at such a phrase. It seemed like Miles had stuttered on his breath, the intense words likely plunging betwixt his legs. Strangely though, such whispers didn’t beckon like they had earlier; Miles appeared to fight for composure rather than submit.

“You’re far too pent up. You’re seconds away from finishing in your suit.”

Phoenix smirked, leaning back and shaking his head.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Wright.”

“I will. I just want- ah!”

The unexpected squeeze to Phoenix’s taut bulge sliced his words with a yelp. It was something of a lightning strike, his crotch electrifying from the touch it so desperately craved. Really, he could barely deny it anymore. He knew he was painfully wanting. Everything between his legs was straining, throbbing. And much to his chagrin, Miles was also aware.

“I know you’re suffering, dear.”

“Miles-“

Once more were arguments cut by further touches, further whimpers of need. It felt good, so incredibly good, Phoenix’s hips bucking towards the sensation on their own accord. But still, in the back of his mind, did stubbornness persist. For he wanted nothing more than to pleasure Miles, to focus on sending him absolutely skyward. It was why he had been called to the office in the first place; his own wants were insignificant in comparison.

But oh, how his body fought to overpower his mind. Oh, how it screamed for him to give in. Even still...

“Shh...” Miles soothed, poising his hand over the swell.

“I’m not...This isn’t how I wanted-“

“Perhaps I’m not done with you either.”

It was astounding how well Miles knew him. It was astounding how in tune Miles was with his thoughts. And it was astounding that Miles wanted...more. Naturally, such notions were indeed enough to shut Phoenix up, all points dying in the back of his throat. He fished for silver eyes with widened bicolored, beginning to shiver atop his burgundy perch. Miles gave him a knowing look then, raising a single brow before murmuring further.

“So in the mean time, hush, and let me help you.”

Reflexively, Phoenix opened his mouth to stubbornly resist, but no words rolled off his tongue. He was locked into the silver spell, insistent eyes ushering him away from arguing. Biting his lip, he gave a feeble nod, and that alone encouraged the progression. Miles hummed a sigh, and softly nudged Phoenix’s chest, gesturing for him to stand. He quickly did as he was told, what with the tightness beneath his slacks indeed growing uncomfortable. He watched as Miles momentarily tucked himself out of the way, before rising to join him. He was half-tempted to hold the back of his neck, unsure of where things were going to go. But when Miles spun him around and pulled their forms flush, it became abundantly clear.

He couldn’t help but whimper then, the mere implications of what was to come causing his hips to shift. The movements only intensified when Miles nestled closer, his chin hooking on Phoenix’s shoulder and his hands snaking around his begging form.

“Look at you...” he whispered, pivoting to press a kiss to the side of Phoenix’s jaw, “You thought you were going to last? Truly? You’re writhing, love...”

It really was something- how quickly he fell apart, how quickly he lost his foothold. But it couldn’t be helped; he had always been impervious to Miles’ intoxicating touch. It was a wonder he thought he’d last indeed. Still...

“I...I was going to try...F-for you...”

“So stubborn.”

Normally, there would be teasing and palming abound. Normally, Miles would be meticulous with his touches and strokes. But presently, he seemed to follow the exact route of desperation, skipping directly to the point. For he reached for blue slacks, hastily unzipped them, and tugged Phoenix free. He wasted no time at all, grasping the pulsing length with a hand and immediately creating shockwaves.

“Ohh fuck...” Phoenix gasped, his tone already hiking upwards.

Though his mind was instantly woozy, though his body was focused on sensations below, he could still feel the warmth from Miles’ smile. It glimmered upon his shoulder, coupled with a contented sigh as monochromatic eyes likely looked him over.

“Hmm...Exquisite as usual.”

He released his grasp, leaving Phoenix in a shivering limbo. But then came a sound that drew forth a whimper: Miles licking and moistening his hand. And moments after, it was a wonder Phoenix’s legs didn’t immediately give out. It was a wonder he didn’t yell into the heated silence of the office. Because yes, Miles knew him well; he knew exactly the right pressure, exactly the right stroke. He gave several tugging passes, before fixating on the head, thumbing the slit in circular motions.

White flashed before Phoenix’s eyes, a garbled mess of moans and gasps escaping him. His pelvis thrust towards the skillful hand, chasing after the intense pleasure. It was incredible, or pathetic- he couldn’t quite tell which. Because he was already feeling that clenching fire, that telling tension within his abdomen. Thus, did he heave and lean against Miles, straining to hold on.

“I can’t...I c-can’t...Miles, I...”

Miles huffed with amusement, squeezing the tip betwixt his fingers before shifting back towards strokes. Phoenix had to stifle a cry, clamping down on his noises as flames surged higher and higher.

“Fuck...Fuck! I’m...!”

“Let go, my darling...”

And just like that, he was done for. In just a few passes, he was finished. He stiffened immensely, before arching against Miles, crying out as he finally released the pent up tension. He roughy came in numerous bursts, likely soiling Miles’ hand and the floor before them. But said hand didn’t shy away, continuing to stroke to utter completion.

Phoenix moaned pitifully as he stepped down from immense heights, slumping back against the sturdier form behind him. He could feel the heat from Miles’ smile once more, lips ghosting against his neck as he hummed his triumph.

“There we are...” He eased a series of kisses to Phoenix’s skin before adding, “Utterly breathtaking...”

Phoenix turned his head to meet the advances, easing their mouths together despite his quickened breaths. He kissed Miles deeply, passionately, sighing as the last bits of elation departed his system.

But as he came up for breath, he became...acutely aware of just how fast things had gone. His gaze drifted downward to the mess on Miles’ hand, before shifting to the matching white streaks on the floor. Though Miles was masterful, it had hardly taken any effort. No, he wouldn’t have been able to last in a deeper connection at all.

The thought flooded his face with crimson, sheepishness overtaking his features. He shifted about on his feet, before awkwardly clearing his throat.

“Erm...”

Miles could easily sneer at him. There were boundless quips he could launch for such an occurrence. Banter seemed to be threateningly hanging above both of them. But instead, Phoenix only picked up on gentle huffs of mirth, the warmth of Miles’ expression still evident.

“Still going to bluff, my love?”

“Ah, no...” Phoenix pulled himself away then, mindful of the mess as he turned to face Miles. A hand crept up to hold his neck, along with more sheepishness to match. “You...You were right.”

He watched as Miles rolled his eyes and shook his head, though the gentleness remained.

“How ludicrous.”

It was then he surprised Phoenix, drawing his soiled hand to his mouth. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, he licked and sucked at the incriminating evidence, cleaning without complaint. He hummed as he did so, whereas Phoenix couldn’t help but rasp an expletive at the sight.

“Now who’s lewd?” he managed with a strained snicker.

“Hmm...Is it such a crime to marvel in you?”

“I guess not, but...damn, Miles.”

Silver stare flashed as he swallowed the last drops down, the action topped off with a contented sigh. Miles walked towards his shelves then, retrieving a few tissues. He offered Phoenix a handful, before bending down to address the remaining mess- the streaks which had narrowly missed their shoes.

“I’m just pleased I was able to return such a release,” he murmured as he cleaned, “You didn’t need to be hurting on my behalf, dear. Especially when you went through the trouble of coming here.”

“For you. You shouldn’t have even had to worry about my-

“-Hush,” Miles interjected, “Who’s to say I didn’t enjoy it?”

Further banter built on Phoenix’s tongue, but ultimately didn’t manifest. Instead, he opted to tuck himself back in before bending down and offering an additional hand. As he cleaned though, he couldn’t help but wonder...was Miles truly satisfied then? Did his own release mark the end? Would he be satiated until they saw each other again in the evening? Was it enough? Phoenix had been the one to allude to further steps, to delving deeper into pleasure. But the current actions smelt of finality.

That was, until a previous quip entered Phoenix’s brain, something said in passing but dripping with significance. He decided to inquire.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?”

“Did...did you say you weren’t finished with me?”

Miles stilled, a swath of crimson rolling across his cheeks. He kept his head down, hiding behind grey curtains once more.

“I suppose I did, yes.”

“You actually want to go further?”

“Don’t you?” Miles murmured, standing up to throw the tissues away.

“Ah, yeah, of course I do. I always do,” Phoenix said, mirroring Miles’ actions. When he had disposed of things, he opted to stand with a hand grasping his neck. “But you’re not bothered? My beloved workaholic wouldn’t worry?”

“Well, there’s always something to be done,” Miles said, venturing back towards Phoenix to loosely snake his hands around the small of his back. “But all the same, I can’t exactly pass you up.”

“You don’t have meetings or anything though?”

“I can guarantee you I don’t.”

“But that’s- wait.” Phoenix shifted in Miles’ embrace, starting like he did in court when a realization struck. “Don’t tell me you carved out space in your itinerary.”

He watched as Miles opened his mouth, only to be silenced by a new wave of warm blush. As the words died, he avoided eye contact. That alone was an answer, an easy deduction, effectively drawing a breathy laugh from Phoenix.

“Oh my God, you did. Miles, you literally made a dick appointment.”

Such a statement drew the monochromatic gaze back, but in the form of a glare. The angry crimson did nothing to help the rivaling laughs, effectively leading to Miles breaking away.

“Phoenix Wright, your crude terminology has me inclined to cancel.”

“Sorry!” Phoenix snickered, reaching to lace his hands around Miles’ neck and restart their embrace, “I’m just...so blown away. I never thought you’d want something like this.”

Miles heaved a sigh, averting his eyes once again as the blush turned gentler.

“Yes, well...wanting you to such a degree changes a lot.”

It was Phoenix’s turn to blush then. He couldn’t help but grin through the warmth, easing close enough for their noses to brush.

“I love you so much,” he murmured, nuzzling until he drew forth a ghost of a smile.

“I love you too.”

It was only natural that the pair kissed, slower and more purposeful than their previous advances. Even with deeper intimacy on the horizon, even with lecherousness hanging over their heads, their lips only glided and caressed.

“What about you?” Miles softly asked when they broke apart, “Nothing going on at the agency?”

“Nah. I’m sure the kids will keep everything in working order.”

“Mm...”

Phoenix’s brows furrowed slightly when Miles looked away, scanning his sharp features for discomfort. He couldn’t quite decipher, so he reached up with a hand, framing Miles’ jaw and stroking with his thumb.

“Hey, we really don’t have to continue if you don’t want to though. Don’t pressure yourself. If there’s any doubt, we can wait until we’re home.”

“No, that’s...” Miles sighed, the color in his cheeks intensifying further. “...I do. This morning, I couldn’t stop envisioning...”

Even though he trailed off, the underlying meaning was apparent. Brown and blue eyes flashed, coupled with the room twinging with a new burst of heat.

“So all of this wasn’t enough, hmm?”

“It was extraordinary, but...”

Phoenix smirked, easing close again. The vice of desire tightened around them, beckoning his lips to that stunning neck once more. He hummed and kissed a trail, already feeling sparks venturing downward.

“...But you want me inside you too,” he whispered against sweet skin, sealing the statement with a nip.

The salacious words and actions prompted another shiver. Phoenix’s grin only intensified, coupled with the frequency of his bites.

“It’s incredibly crass, I know,” Miles eventually said, his voice strained as he shifted beneath the touches.

“It’s amazing is what it is. And perfect because...I want you too. God, I want you so bad.”

Phoenix latched his mouth onto sweet skin something proper then, biting and sucking. He was intent on making a mark, both literally and figuratively, driving his point completely in. Said motives were made worse by a moan gracing his ears, the noise hammering in his claim.

“Phoenix...”

The subsequent grin broke the heated connection. He leaned back to admire, humming at the reddish blotch that seemed to saturate in real time. But though they stood together in the flames, though he could still taste Miles upon his tongue, though their bodies had started to sing once more, he couldn’t help but inquire one last time.

“You’re sure?”

Heated eyes softened, Miles reaching to cup Phoenix’s face.

“I’m sure,” he murmured, before sighing and looking away, “Lest you depart and my thoughts...drift once again.”

“Maybe those infernal physiological processes aren’t so bad after all...” Phoenix snickered, his hands drifting to mirror the frame.

“Mm...”

The pair smiled, before easing to close the space between them. Lips initially brushed in a tender kiss, but quickly intensified to something far more molten. Starving mouths gaped, and thirsting hands wandered. As Phoenix plunged downward towards a particular prize however, as hands grasped burgundy curves, concentration was severed once more.

“Ahh, shit,” Phoenix hissed.

“What is it?”

“You don’t...happen to have any supplies, do you?”

“Bottom drawer...towards the back.”

The instruction sent Phoenix off without hesitation initially. He broke away towards the specified destination, bending down to fish for the desired bottle. Upon grasping it though, a lightbulb suddenly popped forth; he couldn’t help but smirk as he processed the location, the readiness.

“D-don’t you say a word, Wright. Just grab it.”

It was like Miles had peered into his cheeky thoughts. That, or he had spied the budding mischievousness on his face. Either way, it made Phoenix snicker once more, standing up and biting back wry comments.

“And wipe that grin off your face,” Miles huffed.

“Do it for me.”

Silver eyes narrowed, but Miles complied, surging forward to lock them in a hungry kiss. Hands from both parties began to wander, groping and attempting to make purchase. Miles’ fingers curled through ebony locks, whereas Phoenix’s hands framed his favorite jawline. The pair moaned through the rougher advances, heat surging and dancing betwixt them.

It certainly wasn’t a bad way to allow their bodies to catch back up.

The swirling warmth prompted Phoenix further. His hands drifted downwards, grasping Miles’ collar and giving a beckoning tug. Miles understood at once, breaking the kiss and panting against rival lips. Phoenix took advantage of the pause, moving to remove his own jacket. He was simply going to shrug it off, to opt for a quick discard, but a pair of hands interjected. He looked on with mild confusion as Miles guided the fabric off, dutifully holding instead of dropping. It was when he meticulously hung it off the back of his chair that things clicked for Phoenix.

“Priorities,” he laughed.

“You’ll thank me later when your jacket isn’t a crumpled mess,” Miles said, repeating the actions with his own, “We’re going to be conspicuous enough already.”

Phoenix snorted, but the amusement did little to slow him. The moment Miles pivoted back to face him, he pounced, locking them back in a kiss as fingers worked at golden buttons. The action drew forth a whimper, but Miles seemed undeterred as well. He too, reached through the passion for Phoenix’s waistcoat, unbuttoning whenever he could manage. The pair worked through the layers of fabric, brushing the coats aside and finally reaching the undershirts. Phoenix could almost curse at their fashion choices, acting as a barrier of sorts against their fire. Instead though, his mind grew giddily woozy, what with the prospect of more beautifully exposed skin on the horizon. He hurried then, desperately working at buttons to remove the last block.

When he finally got it open, when he finally parted the fabric for his ardent eyes, he couldn’t help but break away to stare. Hands reached to follow his gaze, caressing the awaiting chest. The pair shivered at the exchange, but Phoenix was inclined to go further. Wandering fingers drifted to Miles’ dusky nipple, encircling the area before pinching lightly. The resulting gasp drew forth a smirk and magnetized lips to skin.

Phoenix kissed a trail across taut pectorals, humming at the sparks buzzing betwixt their bodies. Just as before, the gorgeousness bewitched him, leading him to lick and bite a plenty. He encircled Miles’ nipple with his tongue, long enough for trembling fingers to thread his hair. If they decided to tug, he would appropriately respond, nipping until a whimper was earned.

Eventually though, his own body grew impatient, beckoning him to press forward. He leaned back to eye his work, grinning at the beauty and marks alike.

“God, I love you. You and your body both.”

“I love you too. Though, did I not say I wished to see you as well?”

“You did, but...I’m not quite finished.”

Motions from earlier were repeated, Phoenix reaching to undo belt and slacks alike. Unlike before though, it was with the intention to completely remove; fingers grasped all matters of fabric, tugging until everything was pulled downward. Burgundy and boxers pooled at Miles’ feet, and Phoenix stooped to follow. He took a moment to remove Miles’ dress shoes and socks, before the other constraints were guided off and away.

Upon easing back to his knees, Phoenix found himself at eye level with the most desirable part of all. It was engorging once more, and already beading with pre-cum. As a result, he couldn’t help himself; he reached to give a tugging stroke or two, before he eased to kiss the awaiting moisture away. Miles’ groan almost coaxed him to pleasure further, but he ceased- though not without licking up the entirety of the beautiful length.

He kissed his way back upwards, murmurs of praise coiling on his tongue. The moment he was standing though, said murmurs were immediately hushed, Miles’ demanding mouth finding his. The two fell victim to yet another heated kiss, moans reverberating through the space. Before Phoenix could caress further, Miles raced for his turn. He deftly unbuttoned Phoenix’s undershirt, and caressed bare skin the instant it was offered. Phoenix couldn’t help but release a whimper for Miles to swallow, the touch trailing sparks across his own chest.

He expected actions to parallel, to mirror. But it seemed desperation was at the forefront; he smiled as Miles jumped right to his blue slacks, hurrying to free him once more.

“So ready for me...” Phoenix purred into swollen lips.

“Have been since the moment you embedded yourself into my thoughts...”

Such words flared nostrils, stuttered breaths, and stoked new fires of determination. He sighed as Miles removed him from fabric constraints once more, but when Miles pulled back and hesitated- perhaps to admire, Phoenix jumped at the opportunity. Clothing didn’t need to come fully off after all. Entire exposure wasn’t necessary. They had everything they needed, with a few conspicuous shields to match.

So he grabbed ivory hips, pivoting Miles around and ignoring the sharp gasp. A beckoning nudge was given, gesturing for Miles to bend over the desk before them. To his utmost delight, Miles did so without delay or argument, reclining and beautifully displaying. Though a new desperation was indeed gnawing within, Phoenix couldn’t help but appreciate the sight.

“I’ll never be able to get over how gorgeous you are.”

“Hmm...” Miles hummed, propping himself up on his elbows, “Coming from the most magnificent man...”

“Says the one who’s insanely irresistible.”

“Objection- ah!”

Arguments were severed by touches; Phoenix’s fingers squeezed the offered cheeks, before easing to simply caress.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“You’re playing dirty, Wright,” Miles said, huffing and shifting against the contact.

“Well yeah, I would hope so. I’ll keep this method in mind for the next time you’re getting too sassy in court.”

“Yes, because they surely wouldn’t hold you in contempt whatsoever- ungh!”

Again were vocals stolen by a squeeze. Phoenix grinned, going so far as to offer a light whap before chuckling over the following gasp.

“Worth it.”

He kneaded the doughy flesh with his fingers, marveling at the sounds such an action earned. Every moan and whimper resonated directly between his legs, slowly coaxing his erection back to totality. He wasn’t quite sure how Miles wanted to proceed, how Miles wanted to be taken, but oh, how tempted he was to simply pound him then and there.

His beloved beginning to whine coaxed Phoenix towards the next steps. He reached for the bottle of neglected lube, popping it open and smirking at how Miles hummed at the sound. Generously, he coated his fingers, before transferring some to his still-swelling length. He stroked and readied with trembling sighs, before reaching for the desired entrance.

The second Phoenix brushed upon puckered skin, their breaths caught, tangling in the new tension gripping the room. Around he rubbed in tantalizing circles, ghosting upon the area in preparation. With how Miles squirmed, Phoenix expected to be implored, to be begged. Instead, he was stunned to watch as Miles reached back with a hand, prying and spreading himself open. It was a miracle Phoenix didn’t leap to sheath himself then and there.

He instead shakily inhaled, and poised a single finger to proceed. Consent had already been given. Approval had already been spoken. But even still, did Phoenix double check, holding steadily in place.

“Ready?”

He smirked when it seemed like Miles’ body did the talking, what with his pelvis titling a bit closer. Such an expression warmed all the more when shaky vocals joined the mix.

“Yes. Please.”

Through the muscular resistance he finally pushed then. Phoenix couldn’t help but hum at the tight warmth which awaited, the noise beautifully melding with the opposing moan. He eased in only to his knuckle at first, closely watching Miles for signs of discomfort. But when he only spied breathless pleasure, when he only spied a silent ask for more, did he insert his finger in completely. He allowed Miles a small respite, giving the muscles time to adapt and relax. The moment the tension eased, Phoenix began to move, slowly jutting in and out in a salacious pattern.

Mismatched eyes scanned meticulously, lecherously. He eagerly drank in every sigh, every quivering moan. If Miles seemed to react more to a certain area being stroked, Phoenix would fixate on the spot, jutting until hips quivered beneath his touch. He knew the workings of his partner after all. He knew what he liked, how he ticked. So when that gorgeously stoic body began to tremble, Phoenix went further, slipping a second finger into the mix.

“Phoenix...” Miles sighed, his tone coated with delicious enjoyment, “Yes...”

The praise fueled him, warming both his groin and his expression. He thrust the pair deeply, before taking a few beats to explore the muscular walls. He swirled about rhythmically, before scissoring for that perfect stretch. He couldn’t help but groan at the sensations, at the sounds, at the torridity of it all. He worked for every little bit of pleasure, every sweet vocalization from Miles.

It seemed successful thus far; Miles was writhing against his perch, moaning against the advances. The further Phoenix stretched, the more his reactions intensified. Deeper thrusts seemed to coax his hips backwards, like they subconsciously sought more stimulation.

So Phoenix delivered without hesitation. He slipped a third and final finger in, marveling at how Miles’ back arched in response.

“Fuck...” he gasped, sending a new rush of blood straight to Phoenix’s crotch, “So good...”

Every movement earned a breathy moan then. Every thrust was met with an equal advance. And every jolt of Miles’ pelvis seemed to coax Phoenix’s similarly. He needed more. They both needed more.

Phoenix reached deeply for that sweet inner spot, stroking until Miles began to whimper something terrible. But then, he abruptly pulled out, drawing a sharp gasp into the heated space. It was not without cause; he reached for the lube once more, intent on slicking and readying his erection.

“Ph-Phoenix...”

The mewl made him smirk through his preparation, smiling despite the grunts and sighs from touching himself.

“I won’t keep you waiting, baby. You’ve waited long enough.”

Biting his lip, he nestled himself into the constricted space, teasing his head against the awaiting entrance. The pair vocalized at the sensation, Phoenix groaning and Miles whining. But right before he proceeded, right before he could venture inward, Miles gasped with further conversation.

“Phoenix.”

Before he could even question the sharper tone, Miles released his grip on himself, effectively closing off proper access. In the pause he seemed to be taking to steady himself, to catch his breath, Phoenix couldn’t help but buzz with alarm.

“What is it?”

Miles inhaled deep lungfuls of air, before standing and pivoting to face Phoenix. Mismatched eyes were spellbound, immediately drawn downward to the enticing sight between pale legs. Despite their previous ventures, Phoenix was pleased to see that Miles was plenty hard once more- though, the relief was short lasted. Had he done something wrong?

“Sweeth-“

“-I love you,” Miles blurted, rushed and unexpected, “You’ve done everything and more, as you always do. It’s high time you simply sit back and enjoy.”

Before returned sentiments could even poise on his tongue, Phoenix found himself getting dragged across the room, stumbling as he was tugged by his hand. His aroused mind buzzed with confused static, unable to process the new turn of events. That was, until he spied where Miles was headed, where he was being lead to.

The pair of plush couches. A luxurious seat. A location entirely fitting for a different position.

“Oh...” Phoenix breathed, coming to the realization through his buffers, “That’s...”

“Phoenix.”

“R-right!”

As desperate as he was, as they both were, he rambled no further, nor did he try and argue. He simply assumed the new position, seating himself on the edge of velvety fabric. The moment heterochromatic eyes locked with fiery silver, he gave himself a presenting stroke.

“I’m yours how you want.”

Miles was on him immediately, gripping Phoenix’s shoulders and straddling his toned legs. Phoenix expected him to lower immediately, to aggressively ride the moment they were situated. Instead, to his surprise, did further honeyed words fall from his tongue.

“I do believe I’m the luckiest man in the world...” Miles said, aligning himself just so.

“Objection- believe that title belongs to-“

Argument and breath alike were stolen by Miles nestling close, positioning to proceed. Phoenix could almost laugh at how Miles turned his own tactics against him, what with hushing words with arousing actions. But he found himself too shaken, merely reaching to steady his shaft with a hand. He groaned as Miles gripped his shoulders tighter, and as cheeks enveloped his awaiting length.

There was the slightest bit of resistance, the smallest amount of give. Before suddenly, Miles engulfed him, sliding down and easing them into full penetration. Colors flashed in Phoenix’s vision, the feeling of connecting so deeply with his partner absolutely unprecedented. He couldn’t help but moan his approval, his hands flying for purchase on Miles’ body. It took all of his self control not to immediately lose it, biting his lip as Miles sunk further and further.

It seemed Miles had been holding his breath, for he released a groaning exhalation the moment he completely took Phoenix in. The pair panted and moaned, savoring the closeness and allowing each other to adjust. Phoenix nestled against Miles’ bare front, hissing quiet expletives with equally soft kisses to match.

“God...fuck...you feel so good...”

“You’re perfect, Phoenix...Utterly...perfect...”

“Love you...” Phoenix breathed, brushing beneath hanging fabric to get a good grip on Miles’ hips.

“Love you.”

And with that, did Miles begin to move, surely readied to chase what he had desired all day. Phoenix watched with thirsting eyes as Miles eased up, before slowly plunging downwards once more. The two moaned from the passes, the stretches, before Miles truly began to ride. He took Phoenix deeply, and rocked his pelvis with reckless abandon.

Phoenix looked on in awe, mesmerized as Miles undulated and threw his head back. Phoenix’s breaths were beginning to dance with moans, matching the grunting efforts sounding from his partner. The familiar fire was already starting to burn in his abdomen from such advances, his entire lower half alight with sensations. But he wasn’t about to finish quickly this time- not until he ensured Miles’ utmost satisfaction.

This was for him. This was all for him.

So he tossed care to the side, and began to meet, began to guide. With a tight grip on moving hips, he coaxed Miles towards bounces, so that he could properly mirror thrusts. Phoenix jerked his hips upward every time Miles bore down, deepening the stroke again and again. It seemed to have an immediate effect, Miles’ head lulling back even further.

“Ah!” he gasped, “Fuck...Phoenix, t-that’s-“

A tighter grip on Miles’ hips angled him forward, just that perfect little amount to beautifully graze the treasured spot within. Phoenix relished the obscenely loud moan such a shift earned, groaning himself as it instantly resonated in his groin.

“Fuck, Miles...God.”

He thrust upwards even harder, racing against his own body and Miles’ building speed. The office became a lecherous cacophony then, what with Miles keening, Phoenix grunting, and their connection squelching. It was music to Phoenix’s ears, utterly captivating and everything he wanted. Though, he still aimed to take Miles even higher, to draw forth uncontrolled noises as he unraveled.

“Phoenix, I’m...I’m close...Please, Phoenix, I-“

That was all he needed. Despite the burn in his pelvis, the tension in his stomach, the soreness in his legs, he strained to give Miles that last burst of pleasure. He continued to thrust, but reached with a shaky hand, intent on addressing Miles’ neglected erection. He grasped tightly as they both continued to move, tugging and jerking as best he could.

Any attempt at talking quickly turned into a jumble of moans and shallow gasps of air. But the moment Miles crested, the moment his orgasm tightly grasped his body, one thing still managed to ring loud and true.

“Phoenix!”

The cry echoed throughout the space and resonated deep within Phoenix’s mind. He felt warmth streaking against his hand and abdomen. He tugged until cries shifted more towards whines and dry sobs. And that was it; the flames had breached the last wall of control.

Throwing his hands back to Miles’ hips, he slammed him downward and came hard, bursting deep within. His head careened over the back of the sofa, moaning the beautiful opposing name through every intense peak.

“Miles! Miles!”

He jerked, pulsed, and emptied himself entirely into the cramped space. When Miles collapsed against him in blissful exhaustion, he too, melted in dreamy fatigue. The moment he stepped down from his climax, the moment he floated back down to Earth, he sagged back against the couch, something of ecstatic jelly.

The room was nothing but deep, slowing breaths then. After a few moments, Miles eased upwards and broke their connection with a soft moan, before easing to carefully settle atop bare skin. Phoenix could feel dewiness betwixt them, and could feel moisture leaking against his thigh. But he paid the sensations no mind; all he wished to do was marvel in his partner that much more.

He snaked his hands around Miles’ back, venturing beneath his ruffled clothing and holding him close. He softly caressed slick skin, before easing close to capture their lips in an exhausted kiss. Mouths lazily slid about, no glamour to the exchange as lips messily smushed. But when they were torn apart by panting huffs of air, did Miles finally find the wherewithal to speak once more.

“God...That...That was...”

“...The only way I’m choosing to spend my break from now on,” Phoenix finished with a breathy laugh. The mirth only intensified when Miles’ flushed expression turned incredulous, furrowing despite the streaks of red.

“You’re absolutely ridiculous...” he said, though twinkles of laughter were evident in his tone.

“Maybe. But you love me for it.”

“I suppose I do, yes. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Swollen lips connected once more, a bit more tender and composed. They kissed softly, sweetly, pouring all manner of adoration into the connection. Regardless, Miles seemed keen to articulate further once they broke.

“Speaking of ridiculousness, thank you, darling...”

“Hmm? For what?”

“For this! For...” Silver eyes flitted away, like they hadn’t just been caught up in extremely lewd acts. “...Tending to my...atrocious needs so.”

Phoenix couldn’t help but laugh, at the sight and notion alike. He reached up to brush damp grey strands back, before cupping Miles’ face.

“You’re not still caught up on that, are you?”

He snickered as Miles seemed to blush further, practically sinking against his hand.

“I plead the fifth.”

“Miles,” he laughed, angling for a quick peck before continuing. “I adore you, and will tend to you whenever you want. Atrocious needs, physiological processes, or whatever else gets you going- I’ll be there.”

“Phoenix...”

The murmur of disdain was hushed by yet another kiss. Through the sweet connection, and the honeyed lightness in his brain, thoughts gently drifted. Phoenix wanted to stay there forever, cuddled close and deliriously post-coital. He wanted to bathe his beloved in pleasure until neither of them could stand. He wanted to relish in his beautiful body and handsome soul. But with every passing minute, he became acutely aware of where they were, and the subsequent duties they both had. He almost sighed his disappointment against Miles’ mouth, knowing he did indeed have to get back to the agency sooner than later. Thankfully, his brain offered a solution, a solution that pried his mouth away with further snickers.

“Speaking of which, hope you’re ready for a repeat performance tonight.”

He laughed as silver eyes widened- even more so when hands playfully shoved his chest.

“I’m more than satisfied, you goon.”

He beamed, snorting and chuckling a plenty. Another jest manifested on his tongue, one that would surely earn another shove. But if it meant furthering the moment, and chasing after those “damn processes,” he was powerless to stop it.

“Alright alright. Same time tomorrow then?”

#Narumitsu #Narumitsu fanfiction #Narumitsu smut #Wrightworth #Wrightworth fanfiction #Wrightworth smut #Miles Edgeworth #Phoenix Wright #NC-17 #ANOTHER ONE DOWN ANOTHER ONE DOWN #I've been working on this one for a hot minute and was worried my motivation would inevitability die out #BUT NO LOL #HERE SHE IS #SHE MADE IT #And thank goodness because GOD I just wanted to make them drown in each other #I just wanted them to savor each other like they deserve #I will never EVER tire of having them love each other so SO hard #they're so taken by each other your honor

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hotdamnhunnam · 3 years

Text

Five Shades of Hunnam

President • King • Captain • Pilot • Gentleman

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: Here’s Part 2 of this crazy filthy fantasy of getting gang-banged* by five versions of Charlie!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Part 2 is written based on the results of this poll asking which Hunnams y’all would prefer in each hole 🤪

Pairings: Jax Teller + King Arthur + Will Miller + Raleigh Becket + Raymond Smith ... x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, dirty talk, rough sex, gang bang* (5 on 1), *NOT gang r*pe – fully consensual, reader enjoys getting ravaged in all of her holes 🙃 Request: Kinkfest request from @itsme-autumn

Word Count: ~3.3k

GIFs by misterhunnam | hunnamsource | charllehunnam

... Continued from Part 1 [Read Here]

“Tell me, baby. Do you want us to treat you like a lady...? Or whip out all five of our cocks and just go fucking crazy?”

The fact that Jax Teller is here in your room—standing among four other men just as stunning as him, all in the form of Mr. Charlie Fucking Hunnam—the fact that Jax just said that to you... is honestly too hot to be true.

What the hell are you supposed to say to that? Supposed to do...?

You’re soaking wet and need them bad. So horny you feel fucking dead. You want to speak and yet you can’t. King Arthur has Excalibur in hand; the way you’re feeling right this instant, hurts as if that goddamn legendary sword stabbed you straight through.

With fire in his eyes of icy blue, Jax takes a few bold steps toward you. Your gaze falls to his crotch on impulse, and it’s clear from the bulge in his jeans... he’s extremely well-hung. So damn thick. So damn long. So damn big it’s obscene. It’s not as if you’re shocked—Jax Teller always walked and talked like someone with a massive cock—but still, just seeing... is believing like fuck. Plus he’s hard as a rock.

“C’mon, what’s wrong? Cat got your tongue...?” he taunts, not ashamed to whip out a ridiculous pussycat pun. It’s so painfully dumb, but when Jax Teller says it... you basically cum. He’s a devilish dick of a dom, and he loves to flaunt it. “Bet that pussy could use some tongue on it. I mean, if you’d want it.”

Oh Goddd—you cannottt... that shit is just too fucking much, to be honest.

Thankfully Captain Will is behind you to catch your full weight, as you literally start to faint. And the feel of his touch on your skin has you falling all over again. Your poor cunt is in pain. So horny it’s insane, short-circuiting your brain.

But you’re still wide awake and conscious, well aware of just how fucking bad you want this. Every man in the room.

Will reads your mind, now as he holds you from behind. Chuckles sadistically against your ear and it’s fucking divine. “Mmm, maybe if we make her cum... then her brain will be able to function and send us all home.”

“To hell with going home,” Arthur mutters, clearly turned on at the sight of you all hot and bothered. He may be nobler than the others, but he was brought up in a brothel after all and has never denied where he came from. “I swear there’s no woman so fair in all my kingdom...”

“Nor in my dimension,” Ray seconds. “Y/N—ever since we stepped in, I’ve been dying to mention that you are delightfully hot.”

Raleigh smolders, tension in his beefy broad shoulders. The king and the gentleman... aren’t they supposed to be decent like him? Now apparently they just forgot?... “But I thought—”

The President abruptly interrupts. While Will surrounds you from behind, blowing your mind, Jax comes up front. Fucking you up, his words setting a bomb off in your cunt. “Y/N just has to tell us what we all already know she wants.”

And then somehow, you finally summon the words to your filthy whore mouth. Still unable to fathom how you got so lucky. There’s only one way to respond—so you say it now. Say it loud, slutty and proud. “I want... I want you all to fuck me. All at once.”

***************

And so it goes.

You and five versions of Charlie Hunnam, all here in your room, are all ready to burst and give in to your dirtiest thirsts.

First things first: you need Jax Teller’s cock in your throat, and he already knows. He can tell, all too well—and he smirks, hot as hell, because he is the worst. You’ve been so fucking eager to suck off this fictional character ever since you started watching his show.

Now he’s not at all fictional, though. You still cannot believe this is real, and just how good it feels... to know just what’s in store, as you give into all of your instincts to kneel, sinking fast to the floor... that you are actually about to blow the President of SAMCRO.

“Mmm...” the tall blonde biker hums, clearly pleased, as he watches you fall to your knees, reaching now to rip open his jeans like a cheap fucking whore. Jax’s cocksucking hoe. “There we go. Look at that slutty little mouth of yours. Go on and show me what it’s good for.”

Fuck yes, sir. But you’re too breathless now to use your words to answer, as Jax Fucking Teller’s cock is out, so big and hard and proud... a goddamn pillar of perfection...

And you are not about to waste a second, worshiping the President’s erection with your filthy little mouth.

“Unghhh....” he grunts, as you set to work right at once. The sound of his guttural groan starts a flood in your cunt, soaking up while you slobber all over his dick, focusing on the tip. Servicing him with your tongue and lips, loving it more with each lick. Slurping up every sweet drop of precum as it drips.

He is so delicious. You could go on forever like this, as if you and Jax are the only two souls who exist. But you’re not—and the fact that four other versions of the same man are watching right here in this room... just the thought, of five shades of Hunnam, five flavors of your favorite sex god... is so fucking hot.

The truth is that they’re not just here to watch, while you bury your face in Jax’s crotch. They’re here to touch. They’re here to fuck. They know that you want all five of their cocks. You’ve never wanted anything so much.

And just your luck... they want you too. These five versions of Charlie are incredibly turned on by you, though it seems too good to be true.

All of a sudden, you feel hands upon your skin as someone hoists you off the floor. King Arthur has just set aside his sword, stripped off his shirt—oh God, his chiseled muscles are so hot, so hard it hurts—and flings you easily over his shoulder like a little fucktoy whore.

“The fuck—” the President protests as your mouth slips off of his cock, with a loud pop, once the king swiftly lifts you up. Jax was not at all set for this blowjob to stop. He wants more of this mind-blowing head. “What the... I wasn’t done yet...”

“Did you not hear what Y/N said?” Arthur reminds him, as he carries you across the room and throws you down onto the bed. The way he effortlessly handles you like that... you’ve never been so wet. “The lady wants all five of us at once. You took that pretty little mouth of hers—such a sweet hole to fuck—but there are others. Now it’s time for her to take a royal cock. Give her exactly what she wants. I’m gonna lay claim to her cunt.”

Then he attacks you with a fierce animalistic grunt, tearing his leather pants away to free his meat, and ripping off your clothes as well to make sure that you feel all of his heat. His feral dominance is everything you need. The way he grabs and gropes your tits, with one of his hands... while the other reaches down to stroke your clit... holy fucking shit. You seriously can’t. It’s more than you can stand.

“You think you own that cunt?” Jax comes to butt in, all of a sudden. “Think just ‘cause you’re king you can do what you want? Well, think again. I said I wasn’t done.”

The President then reaches right under Arthur, before things can go any farther. Grabs you by the shoulders to pull you up into a better position. Like every inch of you belongs to him.

Both of these men are just manhandling you at their whim, and it feels like heaven to be sinking into such a state of submission.

The king of England and the king of Charming end up grappling for dominance for a few moments, until their struggle is cut short by a quick interruption: the captain. He’s sick of this childish behavior from them. No matter the problem, Will Ironhead Miller can always propose an efficient solution.

“Cut the bullshit—it’s not rocket science, you idiots,” he says as he tells the men how to best handle their business. “Look: Y/N sits on the king’s cock, then biker boy stands at the side of the bed, so that she can lean over and give him head.”

His suggestion is met with a pause.

Jax is first to break it, while you lie on the bed wet and naked. Glaring alpha male daggers at Ironhead, chest proud and puffed. “What, you think you’re the boss?” he indignantly scoffs.

Arthur huffs, his own ego a little bruised too. But then poses the question to you, his voice all at once tender yet rough. “That sound good to you, love?”

You cannot help but swoon at the word he just called you. How is it he’s so fucking hot, yet so cute...? Your head bobs in a dumb speechless nod; it’s the most you can do.

“Yeah, ‘course it does,” the captain confidently gloats, as you settle into the perfect position that he had proposed. Take the king in your cunt and the President deep in your throat. “Just what she loves. Dick in her mouth and her pussy. Especially because this leaves her pretty little ass ready for me.”

You could honestly die at the thought—that sounds painfully hot...?!? And so dirty... you’ve never once taken two dicks in two holes, let alone three in three... but goddamn do these men make you thirsty.

The second you sit down on King Arthur’s cock... your world is fucking rocked. He’s so epically big—just the same size as Jax’s enormous dick—speaking of which, you go straight back to being the President’s cocksucking bitch. Jax grabs you by the head from where he is standing at the side of the bed, fingers tangling in your messy hair as he feeds you his huge cock to suck. Your face will always be his to fuck.

And you still can’t get over your luck.

“Such a good little cockslut,” Jax snickers at you as he swiftly shrugs out of his kutte. Then the flannel beneath, knowing that looking up at his broad sculpted chest and his firm rippled abs is exactly what you want and need. You take his dick deeper this time around, gagging on his massive meat, gulping every inch down, and he’s so long and thick that it feels like your jaw fucking broke.

It feels so goddamn good to get wrecked, especially now with the words he says next. “You like the way I own this filthy little throat? God, you’re filthy as fuck. Taking my dick so good. Bet you can’t wait to swallow my load. That’s it, slut. Suck that cock till you choke.”

His dirty talk is so hot you can’t even cope. You used to imagine it back when you were just a fan of his show—now it’s actually happening though, and it’s more than your inner fangirl ever hoped.

And of course, it’s the instant your eyes roll back into your head, as both Arthur and Jax fuck you up on your bed, till you’re ready to burst... that the captain decides to step in and take full control, over another hole. If you thought taking two cocks at once was already the best and the worst, nothing could have prepared you for taking a third.

But the truth is you love how it hurts.

Having Jax Teller fucking your facehole all sloppy and juicy, while King Arthur slams his royal scepter into your soaking wet pussy, and Will Miller shoves his brutally big dick in your tight little ass, taking your cheeks in his tight grasp and dishing out punishing slaps... it feels like all your dreams are coming true at last. Literally cumming true at that. God, it feels so fucking good to be so fucking bad. It’s by far the best sex you have ever had. Satisfying all your sluttiest thirsts.

And as if shit could get any hotter... you’d almost forgotten that there are two others.

Two other equally beautiful versions of Charlie: the savage yet soft-spoken gentleman Ray, and the soft-hearted fighter pilot Raleigh.

You don’t even have enough holes in your body for all of them. Not sure whether and how you can handle another two Hunnams. But hot damn are you happy to tackle that problem.

As Jax and Will and Arthur keep railing you harder, filling you in every way you want... you hear another voice from nearby in the room. All at once cool and classy, yet naughty and nasty. It has to be Raymond. “Well now, who knew that this lovely woman... would turn out to be such a kinky fucking cunt.”

Ughh, fuck—you moan desperately all around Jax’s cock, the only way that you can respond. Who knew? No one. You didn’t even know it, till this moment. But now all five shades of Hunnam do. Their presence in your room has definitely brought it out of you.

At the gentleman’s words, the President flashes a smile and a sadistic little chuckle. All the while keeps on ruthlessly ravaging your filthy little fuckhole. Driving his dick into the back of your throat till it hurts. Till your slobbering tongue and your bottom lip smush up against his big balls. Addresses Ray as well as Raleigh, who is standing quietly along the far wall. “Tough luck for you all, but this bitch is fucking full. Too bad she’s only got three holes...”

“She’s got two hands, though,” Ray points out, coming toward you now, his footsteps so deliberate and slow. “What do you all reckon they’re good for...?”

Oh, good Lord...

“Stroking? Squeezing...?” he asks, reaching to take one of your hands in his dominant grasp. Wrapping your fingers tight around his throbbing shaft. You cannot even anymore. Just cannot even... “Mmm, it seems to me that Y/N summoned up five Hunnams for a reason. To be used up like a proper fucking whore.”

Three cocks have swiftly turned to four, and you can feel poor Raleigh bolting toward the door. This filthy business goes against his soft, pure heart. He’s never witnessed—let alone dared to take part—in such a hardcore pornographic scene as this...

But here he is. And can’t deny that he’s rock fucking hard, as you can tell from one quick glance, out of the corner of your eye, at the massive bulge in his military pants. And you’ll be damned before you let that pretty boy pilot escape from this. He fucking can’t. You need two cocks in your two hands.

“Don’t pussy out on us like that,” Will masterfully commands, beckoning Becket toward the bed. “You know we’re all just Y/N’s guests; this is her universe. So we’re just... here to satisfy her thirsts.”

And then he grabs hold of your shoulders, to anchor himself as his thrusts in your ass become faster and bolder, which ends up pushing your head deeper down in Jax’s crotch. Slamming into you like it’s his job. And it’s too fucking much. Fucking you the fuck up.

But you don’t ever want it to stop.

Raleigh seems reluctant to abide by Will’s orders. But something compels him to do as the captain said—come toward the bed, like a good little soldier. “You guys are the worst...”

“No, far from that,” Arthur replies with a filthy laugh, as he keeps on splitting your wet pussy in half with his majestic staff. “This may look bad, but how it feels...? Fucking unreal. Quite honestly the fucking best.”

Oh God fuck yes...

You can sense Raleigh coming closer toward the bed with timid steps. Can feel his captivated blue gaze watch your body as it bounces on the mattress. You’ve lost track of who’s thrusting the hardest, the fastest. It’s all just a beautiful big fucking mess...

“Now let’s see if the fifth cock is as big as all the rest,” Jax playfully suggests. “See if this dirty little slut can take us all at once. Just like she wants. Let’s put our fucktoy to the test.”

“Fine, if you all insist,” the pilot yields at last. “But only ‘cause she wants it. Honest.”

“Just shut up and let her get her hands on it,” Raymond grunts, frustrated and impatient, until Raleigh finally gets in position.

And once it happens—once you wrap your fist around his rock hard cock, getting completely fucked, by five versions of Hunnam all at once... it’s even better than you had ever imagined.

You eagerly jerk both men off, all while the other three keep ravaging you good and hard and rough. You feel so full, in all your holes, and more, down to your deepest core. Your inner whore. This is exactly what you live for, what you love. And you won’t ever get enough.

By the time all five Hunnams are ready to soak you in their fucking cum—which happens at the same time for all of them, since apparently they’re somehow in unison, being all versions of the same person from different dimensions... by the time that happens, you’ve already lost count of your own orgasms.

This whole session, for your slutty ass, has just felt like one epic extended climax. Will and Arthur pounding into you in a perfect rhythm, from the front and the back, while you jack off Raleigh and Ray, all while gagging on Jax... you could do this all day every day. And there’s no other way for your body and soul to react.

You’re nothing but a fucktoy for five shades of Hunnam and that is a fact.

As the three sex gods buried balls deep in your holes fill them up so deliciously full, the other two drop their loads all over the cheeks of your ass and the curve of your back. And you’re having an absolute heart attack. How is a mere mortal bitch supposed to survive this...? Your brain is blown to bits. At this point it’s an actual struggle to even exist.

But you’re a shameless whore, just desperate for another hit. For fucking more. Of all the countless possibilities of five versions of Charlie in your three holes and two hands... all you want is to try literally every combination, and then once you’re done, just repeat them again and again and again.

It is literally raining men. Not just any men—five incarnations of your fucking sex god obsession. All five of them are living breathing perfection. Wrecking you till it hurts, till you burst, fulfilling all your thirst, in every way from every direction.

So maybe eventually you’ll have to send them back to their respective dimensions...

... But till then? You will sure as hell make the most of this mind-blowing multiverse blessing. Maybe if the sex keeps on being this epic they won’t even dream of leaving. Just won’t even...

And you’ll be more than happy to host them forever in this dimension. Can’t imagine any damn thing better than five incarnations of Charlie, right here fucking you in your bedroom. Because honestly, five shades of Hunnam... are five shades of heaven.

***************

Okayyyyy so I know this was FUCKING INSANE FILTHY SHIT but I hope there are some kinky bitches out there who enjoyed it! And would love to hear if you did!! 🤪

– Main Masterlist

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daisylincs · 3 years

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Author Interview Tag

Tagged By: so, long story short... these tags happened right as I was getting super busy with end-of-the-year-craziness, and I completely didn't see them until I was re-scrolling through all my mentions on Tumblr recently. So the people who initially tagged me have probably forgotten they even did (🤣😬🤦‍♀️) but my my count, they would be: @loved-the-stars-too-fondly, @libbyweasley, @aleksandrachaev, and @everythingirl44. Thank you very much indeed, all of you!! This looks like an absolutely amazing challenge, late as I may be to it.

Name: Lily

Fandom(s): Agents of SHIELD (TV) and Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Where You Post: AO3, and the occasional drabble/prompt fill to Tumblr - which, upon consideration, I should probably collect on AO3 🤔

Most Popular Oneshot: for Spideychelle, and overall too, apparently it's my, my, just how much I missed you, my surprisingly angsty (but with a hopeful ending) ten-years-post-FFH fic for Day 4 of Spideychelle Week.

For AoS, it's time can break your heart, have you begging please which, to be entirely 100% honest with you, I completely forgot I wrote in the first place 🤣🙈 It's post-7x10 angst on... that 7x10 and very spoilery death, with some Dousy hurt/comfort. Apparently, Dousy hurt/comfort is the rage, so... that's cool, I suppose.

Most Popular Multichapter Fic: just a few weeks ago, I would have responded with something like, "multichap? Me? As if 😳😅" But now... well, I'm actually posting my first multi-chapter fic later today, so we'll see how that goes!!

Favourite Story You've Written So Far: oh, gosh, that's a really, really hard one!! I've really, really enjoyed almost everything I've written, so picking is going to be very tough cookies xD

For AoS, I think I'm going to go for take my hand, take my whole life too, which is one of the first few things I wrote, but still holds a very special place in my heart, because I felt that it was a fic I could really be proud of, you know? Plus, it made me feel ridiculously soft and shippy-happy throughout the writing process. Plus plus, it has an absolutely stunning banner created by the amazing @ughfitz, which still touches me a lot, because I'd never had such a beautiful banner made before and askjgddfshhdhh it's just perfect.

I'm also very partial to july second, the birthday fic I wrote for @doctorofaos - because Hunter's point of view, it turns out, is ridiculously fun to write, and I had an absolute ball. The whole arc - a surprise birthday party for Daisy, and some team bonding/family fluff - just really works for me, too.

Another one that has to go on this list is hold out your hand, 'cause friends will be friends, my DaisyMack Soulmates BroTP, because that one is my amazing wife @aleksandrachaev's favourite, and it melts my heart so much to hear how much she likes it. 💜

Then lastly, for Spideychelle, my favourite thing I've written is quintessential spideychelle, no contest - it's a Roommates AU and my birthday gift for @eowima, and all the bonding those two dorks do over Lucifer and fandom in general brings me endless delight.

My Aladdin AU, now when did you last let your heart decide, will also always hold a special place in my heart, because it's the first really long thing I wrote. I put a ton of effort into it, and, well, I still think it's kinda fab.

(also I'm so sorry for the relentless self-plug that turned into, oh my God, apparently I'm just that indecisive and love talking that much. I apologise once again)

Fic You Were Nervous To Post: Aubrey, high-five! Because one of the things I was definitely the most freaked out for was that is good, my first-ever Quakerider fic and birthday gift for @acerobbiereyes. The response to that turned out to be overwhelmingly positive, though, and I have even made promises to venture into Quakerider-land again 🥰

I was also a little stressed for we love you, we love you, and we hope you love we too, which was my first-ever polyship fic - Fitzskimmons and cute notes for the fluff bingo - and something I also dedicated to the amazing @bobbimorseisbisexual. Also the formatting for this thing was HELL, and computers and I do not get along, so I was in cold sweats that it wouldn't work and fail on me completely... but, no, it worked, and the wonderful response to it too, very much melted my heart 🥺💖

How You Choose Your Titles: song lyrics. Almost always song lyrics. And if it's not song lyrics, it's a quote of some kind - it just works for me, and I actually find it fun to go hunt for something that works. Maybe I'm weird, but I actually do love it xD

Do You Outline? absolutely, yes - in fact, a great many of the things in my WIPs folder are solely outlines, or even just the beginnings of outlines. I find that outlines are a really good way to save your ideas if you don't have time to write them out properly, so you can come back months later and be all, "what the hell I'm actually so clever." (or, y'know, occasionally, "what the hell can the earth come swallow me up." But let's go with the cleverness 🤣👌)

In Progress:

... I think it's better that we don't talk about my WIPs folder, which, as most people who know anything about me can tell you, is an utter mess, and more than a little insane. (If you don't believe me, check it out here - I bet you do now, right?)

Out of that monstrosity, I'm currently working on numbers 20, 64, 192 and 174, which would be my Skimmons Hallmark Rom-Com, and fics for my three Secret Santas - Spideychelle, Fitzsimmons, and then one for the AoS Secret Santa whose pairing is, in delightfully SHIELD style, classified until the 24th of December.

Then in the very background, I'm also writing some Pipsy, Fitzsimmons and plat!Diper for the fluff bingo yes which I have still not finished I'm awful I know, and I'm going to make my lateness a liiiitle better by passing them of as gifts for my friends. I do love my friends very much, though, so that's more than fair I think 🥺💜

My Complete AO3: ta!

Do You Accept Prompts? yes, always! I have this plan in the back of my mind of gathering up all the prompt lists I've got saved to my drafts and doing like a masterpost/mass prompt request thing, but I'll leave that for a little later yet, because goodness knows I have enough to finish 🙈 In the meantime, though, if there's anything you'd really like to see me write, I'd be just thrilled to do it for you! It'll definitely take me a couple of months to actually get to it, but if you don't mind the wait, then yes, absolutely, I'm your girl! 💖

Upcoming Work That You're Most Excited About: oooooof, another tough one, but I'm very much looking forward to posting the first chapter of my Skimmons Hallmark Rom-Com, which I'm going to do later today!!

Then there's also my three Secret Santas - though I'm not particularly religious, the idea of a gift fic exchange brings me endless glee and I cannot wait to see what my giftees think! I also can't wait to get my own gifts, too, of course... ;) Oh, it's just going to be so much FUN!!

Tagging: well, everyone did this a couple of weeks months ago, so I'm not actually going to tag anyone - but if you see this and think it's cool, by all means go ahead and say I tagged you! 😍 Also, have a very big virtual hug, all of you, and thank you so much for reading through all my blathering!! 💜💖

#tag game #author tag #author interview tag #ahhhhh it has been SO LONG since I was tagged for this fsklfsgjdhkksdhs it's terrible #but here I am; late and very... chatty?#does that help at all??#lmao well you'll be seeing a lot of that the next few days 🤣😍#ahhhh it feels so good to be properly back in the fandom game!#three cheers for breaks xD #queue'll figure it out together

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Green Eggs and Ham: “Train” Review or A Little Better Now (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello you happy people and all aboard! We’re back on the Green Eggs and Ham Train for a Train themed episode. Train. As you can tell I like trains... admitely I don’t see enough episodes et on them and I don’t buy books or obess on them but I like the idea of a train, the comfort, the use of a mode of travel that was once common but is now simply used on occasion with the dawn of air travel, and it confining our heroes to a smaller space with limited room to move. it’s good stuff. I even tolerae the band train... I mean yes their music is okay at best, but the lyrics.. are wonderfully delightfully insane. Who else would use a garbage bag as a genuine romantic metaphor?

When last we left off things ere a bit ehhhhhhhhhhh: Sam went from delightfully quirky with some issues ot adress to annoying, and Michelle went from kin dof a bitch ot ENTIRELY THAT BITCH. Outside of Guy’s mental breakdown/heatstroke episode involving hallucinations of green eggs and ham, yes that did in fact happen, it wasn’t much to write home about and I worried the series simply had a good PILOT but the series itself wasn’t going to be fun sit through.

If I was right or I was rilla.. will have to wait till after the cut. But first as always i’d like to thank the person who payed for this episode Emma Fici. Emma is one of my closest friends and one of two patreon patreons. If you’d like a reivew of your choice eveyr month guarnateed, then please hop over to patreon.com/popculturebuffet and back me at the 5 dollar level. You also get access to my exclusive discord where I ocasoinally post about work in progress stuff and tlak to my falns, to pick a short any time I do one and EXCLUSIVE review, as well as helping me hit my stretch goals. So line up, sign up then join me under the cut.

So we pick up where we left off with Guy hurtling into a lake. Eh I dunno i’ve heard being naked ina lake is pretty neat.

youtube

All you’d have to do is take off the hat and your there. But Sam saves him wiht the weird train of hats he put at the end of the car for some reason, and our heroes are saved.. but down a vehicle. Oh and Sam’s vehiclular neglgence costs a bunch of fish their home.

And our heroes are without a car and Guys at the end of his rope with Sam.. I mean granted he’s been there since he met the guy but it’s down to like the tiniest thred, not helped by Sam casually stealing his wallet to pay for train tickets depsite Guy , UNDERSTANDABLY, not wanting to hang out with the guy who has stolen with him, gotten him implicate din animal trafficing and dosen’t really respect personal space. Also it’s taken me embarassingly long to remember Micheal Douglas played my boy Hank Pym in the Ant Man and the Wasp films. Seroiusly I don’t know HOW I forgot that, him being aged up and thus unable to do ANY of the things he is constnatly denied credit for in canon (Founding the avengers, being the first ant man.. and the first goliath and the first yellow jacket and the first giant man.. and the only doctor pym...).. but instead the film kept his troubled nature and ego, but removed the domestic abuse (which is something I will not go into but needless to say the comics version went above and beyond to try and make up for that and redeem himself soley because it was the right hting to do) and by making im older still gav ehim a roll as Scott’s mentor. What i’m getting at is I freaking love Hank Pym and I could’ve been making hank pym jokes for several episdoes now. That’s a mistake I itned to recitfy.. right away as Guy looses his suitcase as a result of it and whie he lcaims not to be bothered his voice says otherwise. Eh i’m sure the world can wait for ultron Guy.

So anyway, Guy reluctantly agrees to the train travel idea and being parked across from Sam on the grounds he has no real other options. Meanwhile the BAD GUYZ.. and i’ve also decided to drop spoilers as the series is two years old, most people reading this have probably seen the series, and it makes analysis rough when I have to dance around spoilers. So yeah the BAD GUYZ aren’t villians.. kind of a dickhead on the blue guys part, but not EVIL. They figure out their going by train it’s a whole thing.

ON the train we run into michelle again...

Yeahhh for the first half she’s as inusfferable as she was the last two episodes and it lead me to believie the rest of the series was going to be constant suffering as she’d be in every episode, likely because they DID get Diane Keaton for this and you don’t waste Diane Keaton. You just don’t. But while they got their money’s worth in having her on screne wise they just..w asted her for the first 2 and a half episodes: Michelle is a judgemental, unpleasnt suffocating bitch and it’s going to take a lot , even if this episode helped, to make me truly like her as a person.

Case in point her first two scenes this episode are just.. dragging her daughter past a play place uncarring about her feelings because while I DO get she cares about her child’s saftey and is terrified afte rloosing her husband.. it dosen’t EXCUSE her actions. It dosen’t forgive her locking her daughter up constanlty, not talking to her like a human being and oh yeah PUTTING A FUCKING LOCK ON HER SHE CAN CONTROL. I mean my god I don’t think they INTENDED for her to come off as abusive as she does, and i’ve seen far worse inteitonally and untietionally, but it’s still not remotely plesant. There is a larger issue baked into that the episode brings about, but we’ll get to that.

And naturally at breakfast.. she procedes to top herself. ONCE AGAIN she treats guy like trash as guy UNDERSTANDABLY didn’t want to talk to her after her previous layers of bullshit which, just as a refresher, involved insulting his invention constnatly (even if it turned out ot be dangerous she did not know that till the last second) then refusing to help a man BAKING in the desert and mocking him to his face.

So yeah unsuprisingly instead of you know, APOLOGIZING for that episode or anything else she mocks him again and calls him sad. I just.. I get they were trying to have her come off as a jerk and then slowly develop.. but you can’t overdue the jerk part. It has to be juts the right amount and if it is this much there has to be a commpuance. There is none as far as I can tell because god is a spiteful two faced prick.

So naturally Sam forces the two parties together, and orders green eggs and ham for everyone, except guy who refuses. We do get a really great bit though as EB turns down the idea and we get a tremendous rant from Micheal Douglas as he talks about how a girl in his clash, veyr likely just him, got a rash from tring new things and you shouldn’t and to watch out for the scarlet beetle he’ll steel your ants and try to conquer your planet and is not a guy in a costume but in fact an actual beetle. EB naturally tries it.

We get a brief interlude with Snerz that’s funny enough: he outright calls his visotrs flunkies, they enter to the song money, and his minon throws dollar bills at their feet. I imagine this is what visitng Mar a Largo is like. They turn up his noses until he mentions getting a chickarffe for his animal crutelty wall. And i’m torn about Snerz. On one hand he can be generally entertaining in his dickery.. but ont he other I do question why he’s in EVERY episode. We don’t NEED him in eveyr one and I feel he’s only in them because Eddie Izzard was expensive so they had to get him as a regular to justify the cost. We really DONT’ need this scene funny as it is and it adds nothing so far. Maybe i’m wrong and these guys end up being important. I don’t know.

So yeah so far this episode was miserable getting through and I expected it to be another long sit... I was wrong. The second half.. is really damn good and reminded me why I liked this series so much. No really. We get two stories,both really good following one half of each pair teaming up. As for why their split Guy is annoyed with Sam, as well as dosen’t want him letting the chickaraffe out because you know lots of people dosen’t want ot go to jail and leaves to find a quiet place to work on watching paint dry while Michelle tucks a sleeping EB in, her first really truly humanizing moment, which should NOT have taken three episodes but hey, i’ll take it, and goes to find the same.

So starting with Sam and EB, naturally Sam takes all of a minute to let his buddy out and it gets loose on top of the train. EB hears the familiar sound and gives chase and the two meet properly. After Sam covers for his buddy and realizes the creature is asleep in his car safe now, he properly talks to EB and we get a truly magical sequnece: The two talk with Sam whoelheartdly supporting her free spirit and finally giving the girl what she badly needed: someone who treated her not as something to be tied down but you know.. a child who just wants some expression and as she literally lets her hair down, It’s truly adorable and it just has a magical quanitity as they enjoy the beautiful view from the train top.

Granted this takes at urn later when EB brings up her mom, and Sam.. supports her mom, pointing out she’s just looking out for her.. which she is but in a deeply unehalthy way and I don’t like the show just.. brushing over Michelle’s terrible actions because “she’s her mom”. But it’s also hard to tell if they are: Sam’s mom left him as we’ll find out, so he likely colors his memories of her rosey and simply envys EB still HAVING hers. It’s not BAD stuff but I don’t like a work saying “You should love your family just beacause your related”. Instead of because they lovea nd support you and if they dont’ love you or treat you remotely well or don’t give an ass about you fuck them. Thankfully I DO love my family and have no issues with them, my immediate family at least, but i’ve had friens with downright abusive or neglectful parents. It’s not that black and white. Ducktales also hammered in the family theme but was transparent in how it can me messy, harm each other and that it took true love and consideratoin for it to work at it’s core.

It’s still not a terrible scene and what comes next is neat as earlier it was shown the train has loops, because Seussworld, and now that’s a problem because their on top of it. Michelle’s jail braclet thing ends up coming in handy the first loop, as while she can’t unstick it means she and sam can suririvie it. They do get it loose, turns out the password was indeed password, because of course, and they end up narrowly suriving a roller coaster bit of track, with the help of MR. Jenkins who I can finally name because EB names her in the next scene. Understanding her need for a pet, Sam deputizes her, and gets her back in bed in time for the next plot.

Speaking of which winding back a bit as these two go back and forth, Guy goes through two rather hilarious cars: First a bath car that has a bubsby berkely style water number and then a model train car.. with the train on the track showing guy watching guy watchin gthe train etc.

It’s great. Guy ends up finding the quiet car.. and Michelle. And in her first scene of acting like a human being and not if julie powers was a soccer mom, Michelle, while standosfish as usual, not only unites with guy to shush a loud guy in the car, but is genuinely apricative when Guy helps her get her place back, she was doing some literal bean counting.

The two genuinely hit it off, first with some adorable silent bits and then by talking, with Michelle appreciating his now safer job and warming up to him. Keaton and Douglas have GENUINE chemestry and it annoys me itt took the series this long to use that instead of wasting Diane Keaton on being

It’s really great stuff and i’m actually rooting for the two.. once she gets her shit together obviously. Guy does make the mistake of lying abotu knowing about the chikcaraffe.

This ends up being bad as he finds out EB knows the next day and after she leaves the car RIGHTFULLY tears the fuck into same for getting him accused of crime, stealing from him and now puttin ghim in a precarious situation. While Guy DID lie, he idd so well meaningly and trying to impress someone whose ineherntly judgmeental. Douglas also does REALY well in the scene, calling sam out but it dosen’t feel cruel.. it’s justified. While guy is miserable and does need to work on himself.. Sam also needs to work on himself and is putting guy in serious danger just by forcing him into his animal smuggling scheme.

So Guy leaves.. and naturally given the unvierse hate shim runs into the BAD GUYZ, who aren’t much better. No really they refuse to belieive guy might be innocent, use excessive force on everyone. They have better GOALS than sam but I woudln’t really call them good people. Smash to black and we’re out.

Final Thoughts: This one was better. As I said the first half or rather third drags slightly but once we get to the two seperate plotlines it’s REALLY damn good stuff and reminded me what the series was capable of in character in creativity. Hopefully it keeps this up

Next Time on the Blog: We return to mewni for the penultimate chapter of season 3 as Moon and Eclipsa have some fundemtnal disgareemnts on how to handle Meteora that wind up costing both dearly.

See you at the next rainbow

#green eggs and ham #guy am I #sam I am #dr seuss #netflix #animation #patreon

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demivampirew · 4 years

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Keep Calm and go to London chapter 3

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog

Trigger warning: talking about low self-stem and body image issues.

The morning after you woke up exhausted, not just because of all the walking and the stunt practice you did the day before, but also because you had trouble sleeping because you could stop thinking about Henry. "It's ridiculous. I just met him, I cannot like him this much already." you thought, throwing your phone into the bed, after checking the selfie that you two took together that day, again. That's what you did all night long: you slept for like an hour or so, woke up, saw the photo, remember the day part by part and went back to sleep.

You had a work meeting that day. You swore that you were not there to work, but an old friend -acquaintance would be more accurate- found out that you were in London and call you to see if you could help him finish a few songs for an album. You accepted because he was a nice guy and because you enjoyed working with him in the past.

- Wow, I brought here because I thought that because of your breakup you would write some so "f-ck you" songs or sad songs, but they were pretty "I'm walking on sunshine" kind of type. - he said when was walking you to the door as you were leaving the studio. - Sorry, that was insensitive for me to say - he apologized.

-No worries. I guess you're right. - you replied, offering a sympathetic smile. " Oh, sh-t, what does that mean?" you thought.

Back at the hotel, you were about to take a bath and planning to go to bed and watch a movie when your phone started ringing. You check to see who was calling you and saw that was your friend.

- Hi girl! - you answered- What's up?

- Hi babe! - she replied- No much, just wondering why my friend had a date with my other friend and didn't bother to tell me about it.

- What?- you questioned confused and then you realized that she was referring to you hanging out with Henry yesterday - Oh, yeah...first of all, it wasn't a date, it was two new friends hanging out...and second, I'm sorry, I didn't know that I needed to ask you for permission to hang out with your friends.- you said playfully.

- Apologies accepted. No need for permission, just want to know when you're on a date, especially if it is with a friend of mine.

- I told you already, not a date. By the way, how did you know that we went on a dat... that we hung out together yesterday?- you asked confused

- Henry told me.

- Did he tell you? - you repeated still confused

- Yes. He mentioned after you left the party, he left right after you left because he wanted to get some rest because tomorrow you two were going to visit the set of The Witcher. And also, I call him too today, because I tried to talk to you but your phone was off apparently because I was directed to voicemail.

- Yes, I was working in some songs with a friend so a turned it off. Wait, you talked to Henry today?

- Yes. He basically told me the same that you did, that you were two friends hanging out and that had a great day.

- Yes, we did. - you agreed.

- Hey, by any chance ...- your friend started to ask you a question and then took a slight pause - do you have a crush on him?

"Oh, sh-t!...sh-t...sh-t! Was it too obvious? Did he asked her to ask me that?" you thought. You sighted before answering your friend question.

- Is it too obvious? He told you that, didn't he? He noticed that I starred at him like a creep and asked you to tell me that please don't do it in the future because he's no interested in me in that way, right? - you asked her

- So you do have a crush on him.-she repeated looking for confirmation

- Yes. I'm absolutely crazy about him, which is insane if you ask me... I mean, c'mon, I just met him two days ago, TWO DAYS! - you replied, almost screaming the last words searching for an affirmation of the insanity of your feelings.

- Y/N! - your friend screamed excited

- What? - you answered holding the tears for falling. You felt so stupid.

- He has a crush on you too - she told me excited

- What?! Did he tell you that?

- Not exactly with those words. Let me explain - she began - The day of the party after we left to the ladies room, he and Edgar started talking about you and how cool you are, and Edgar encouraged him to ask you out, but Henry thought that you were still dating you know who, and then Edgar told him that you were single - and even show him the news of your breakup in his phone- but Henry still had doubts about asking you out because thought you may found it disrespectful that he was trying to get a date with you while you were dealing with something personal and might not be ready or might not be interested in going out with him at all. That's why Ed started to ask you all those questions when we got back, to see if you were ok to date, to convince Henry to ask you on a date and that's the reason why we left you two alone, so he would make his move. He didn't dare to ask you out directly, so he did it to hang out with you as a friend and then see. Today when we talked, he told me that he likes you, a lot, those were his exact words. I know that might not seem like it, but he's quite shy. He doesn't want to seem desperate, especially since he thinks that you want him only as a friend, so he will wait sometime before talking to you again.

You sat down on the edge of the bed while trying to process the information that your friend just gave you. He liked you too. It wasn't just you, he felt the same way about you. That thought makes you smile and your heart was beating so fast of excitement.

- So, you want me to call him and tell him to call you and ask you out? - she questioned

- No, I have another idea on the mind - you said playfully - By any chance, do you have his home address?

- Lucky for you, I do - she replied curiously - Why?

- I'll share my plans later, could you please send me the address?

- Sure, I'll send it to you via text.

- Great! Thanks a lot! Seriously! I got to go, talk to you tomorrow, ok? - you said while standing up and picking up some clothes and going to the bathroom to take a shower.

- Sure. Good luck with your plan! - she said and after saying goodbye you hung up the phone and ran into the bathroom.

You decided to put on a white dress with long sleeves and short to the knees, sexy but cosy for the cold weather. You also put another pair of comfortable boots and a camel colour blazer. You decided to continue your new trend of natural makeup look, with some foundation, pastel colour eyeshadow, eyeliner barely visible and mascara and your favourite nude lipstick - Ludwig of the line Kat Von D Beauty Everlasting Liquid Lipstick -.

Once you were outside his house, you walked to the front door and were greeted by barks. "Kal, his dog" you remembered. "He told me he's very friendly, relax" you remind yourself. You love dogs, but sometimes loves don't like strangers, and that's what you were to him. You knock on the door and heard a voice so deep and beautiful that gave you chills, a voice that only could belong to one person.

- Who is it?- Henry asked

- It's me, y/n- you replied.

- Oh...yeah, wait a minute, please. I'll look for the key. - he told you, for the tone of his voice you notice that he was surprised by your visit.

- Sure. No worries.

A moment later you heard the key turn on the door and this opened as Henry greeted you with a smile.

- I wasn't expecting company, sorry for the mess.- he said as he let you in.

- What are you talking about? Your house is lovely and very clean. - I assure him.

- Thank you. - he said - It's a lovely surprise to see you.

- Oh, yeah, sorry for the impromptu visit. Probably was not polite of me to show up without notice. - I apologized

- Don't worry, I'm delightfully surprise.- he affirmed.

- I just wanted to thank you for the lovely day that I had yesterday thanks to you. I brought you a gift - you said as you handed him a bag.

- Oh, thank you, you didn't have to.- he replied as he took the bag and opened. It had two packs of the finest Guinness beer and a box with some expensive swiss chocolate. - Thank you so much, this is amazing! - he said with excitement in his voice. You smiled happily because you knew that you choose the perfect gift for him.

- You're welcome. I'm really happy that you like it.

- I do a lot. Thank you. - He said and starred at you smiling for a moment, while you were thinking "how is it possible that this man likes me? He's so incredibly handsome" but at the same time, but the way he looked at you, you saw it, it was true, he likes you, you can see it now. He must have noticed that he was looking at you for a little too long so he blushed and started to act a bit nervous - You want something to drink?

- Tea would be great.

- Sure, I think I have tea somewhere. - he said laughing slightly - I don't drink tea, but sometimes, when I remember, I buy some for friends and family when they visit me.

- If you don't have tea, water will be fine. - you assure him.

He made his way to the kitchen and you decided to look around the living room. Before that, you pet Kal that, just like Henry said, was very friendly and anxious for the attention. In your tour on the living room, a blanket with the British flag on it caught your attention, and you put on a big smile thinking on how adorable it was that had that.

- You wanted something to remind you that you're from Britain in case that you forgot? - I said loudly so he could hear me from the kitchen.

- What?... oh, that - he said seeing the blanket as he approached you with a cup of tea that he handed you. - It was a gif from my brother.

- I love it. It's adorable. - you assure him and smile.

You took a sip of the tea and continue walking around, looking at pictures that he had all over the place.

- Is that your family?- you asked

- Yes. Those are my mom and dad - he said as he pointed at one photo; then he pointed at another - those are my brothers. This was taken on Christmas two years ago and I'm with my nephews and my niece.

He showed a couple more pictures of his family, one with his assistant and a few that he had with some close friends and then sat down on the couch. After a moment of silence, in which you were distracted looking at the blanket, you continue the conversation.

- You know, I'm thinking about moving to London.

- Really? - he asked curiously and trying not to sound way too excited

- Yes. I've always loved the city, but this last few days have been some of the best days of the last few years of my life. It's like I finally feel alive again. I get this homie vibe that I've got from LA in a long time.

- That's great! I mean, not that you went through something awful, but that you're feeling much better and that you like the city. I'd be great to have you closer. - as he was saying this he blushed - I mean, you always will have a friend to chat with when you need to - he offered and smiled.

- Thanks.- you smiled back.

(PS: chapter four will continue exactly where I left off 😉 )

#henry cavill #fanfiction #demivampirew #henry cavill x reader

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thedeaditeslayer · 5 years

Photo

Dead Doll's Eyes: Bruce Campbell Talks New Evil Dead and Calls Out Martin Scorsese’s Bulls—t.

You can choose to read the interview below or click the link above to listen to the ten minute recorded version.

Bruce Campbell burrowed his way into our hearts as a dashing B-movie icon with roles in a litany of cult classics, from Evil Dead to Bubba Ho-Tep.

After returning to his roots to play Ash Williams for three seasons of delightfully gratuitous gore in Ash vs Evil Dead, Campbell put away his chainsaw for good when Starz cancelled the series in 2018. However, much to fans’ delight, Evil Dead trilogy director and Ash vs Evil Dead producer Sam Raimi recently announced a forthcoming entry to the franchise with Campbell attached as a producer. Even better: although Ash won’t return to fight Deadites in live action, Campbell will lend his voice to an upcoming Evil Dead video game.

To accompany the rerelease of his memoir Hail to the Chin: Further Confessions of a B Movie Actor — now with an added “Requiem for Ash” chapter — Campbell is dropping by the Alamo City next week for a screening of Army of Darkness and audience Q&A. He promises it’ll be a good time — “There’s lots of stories about the making of that ridiculous movie.”

We caught up with Campbell over the phone, and he shared his thoughts on retiring Ash, teased some upcoming projects and even offered a few choice words for Martin Scorsese.

After Ash vs Evil Dead was cancelled you decided to hang up the character and retire him.

I did, didn’t I?

Unlike other actors who retire their characters, it’s not so much that you’re sick of Ash Williams, but that the demands of filming such a special effects-heavy series led you to reach something you’ve called “The Latex Point.” Could you expand on the on-set demands of Ash vs Evil Dead and why they’re so taxing?

Well, my wife sort of put a finger on it — as she so often does. She came into the trailer one day the last season of shooting, and I’m sitting there miserable because I had to put down plastic sheeting everywhere I went. I’d stick to everything because I was always covered with blood.

She goes, “I know what your problem is — you got Poopy Diaper Syndrome.”

I’m like, “What’re you talking about?”

“You’re like a 3-year-old or a 2-year-old sitting in a poopy diaper, and you can’t get out of your poopy diaper. No one will help you change your poopy diaper.”

So really, it’s that. It’s a series of lying face down in cellars. And it occurred to me multiple times. I’d be lying there literally face down, waiting for a shot, covered in blood in a dark cellar on the dirt, and I’m like, “Is this where I belong?” And the answer was “yes” for a long time, but it’s not a permanent place where you wanna be. Not as a 60-year-old man.

I wanted to avoid that Star Wars crap, where they’re holding these actors up with baling wire and cotton balls, you know what I mean? Feeding them their lines of dialogue through earbuds. I couldn’t do that. I could still pull the character off, so I wanted to finish while I could still do it.

And not have it kind of become…

Uh, sad. We don’t want sadness.

But you’re not leaving Evil Dead. You’re attached as a producer to a new movie, and it’s going to bring new blood into the franchise, including a director hand-picked by Sam Raimi. How does it feel to be able to step back, but still help usher in this new era?

Well, fantastic. Because, look, we can work with these directors. We can support them in the ways that we’ve always wanted to be supported. We can punish them in the ways that we should have been punished. We can hire actors that are good and well behaved, because I know what to look for. And when we get an actor, we can tell them how to best use their time and not party. We’ve learned a lot over the years, so we can share and torment these directors into making a good movie. There’s definitely a place for us. We’ll be there behind the scenes pulling the strings on these little monkeys.

How does it compare so far to the development process for Fede Álvarez’s 2013 Evil Dead? Or is it too early to say?

It’s too early, and every director’s different. Fede was very specific. I’d never worked with Fede, so I wanted to make sure he could work with actors. I sat in for only one day during auditions, and I could see how he would see a take, work with the actors, and the second take was better. After I saw two or three of those, I was like, OK — I’m outta here. This guy knows how to get a better take out of an actor. Done. That’s a huge accomplishment. And he was already very astute with special effects.

What you have to do is find out what the director’s strength is and encourage that, and find out what their weaknesses are and either fix that or discourage that. Some directors are great with actors but they suck at special effects, some are great at special effects but they don’t know how to talk to actors. It’s a really delicate dance. The modern movie is very delicate, because the modern movie has way more special effects now.

In Captain Marvel, even the cat was CGI most of the time he was onscreen.

Lemme tell ya, I’m gonna make a bold statement here.

The Irishman has more digital effects than the most recent Marvel movie, but you just don’t notice. Which why I call B.S. on Marty Scorsese calling out the Marvel movies. It’s like, bullshit! You just used more digital effects than a Marvel movie, and you’re telling me that’s cinema but the other one isn’t?

But the point is, I don’t buy it. I mean, I can’t wait to watch that movie, because I’m gonna be driven insane by Robert DeNiro at 42, Robert DeNiro at 47, Robert DeNiro at 31. It’s just gonna drive me insane, because I’m gonna look at it and I’m gonna be looking at dead doll’s eyes and, you know, they’re gonna do a good job, but they’re all gonna look like sharks.

Now that you’re no longer beholden to the intense schedule of TV production, are there any projects that you’re able to look at that weren’t an option before?

Well, one of two things can happen. I finally told my agent, “OK,” because I had to pass on some things in the last couple years that were decent projects, because I had a bunch of other random stuff going. If you open up your schedule, you can allow for stuff like that. All of 2020 is currently completely open. I have zero bookings for the first time in probably 15 years. I like booking my year — I like knowing what’s going on — but, in this case I’m gonna leave work open to fall off the truck from my agency.

But I also have a TV project that I’m pushing and a feature film project. I will go back under the TV knife under the right conditions, and I have a project that I would do that for. “Under the knife” meaning to sign a contract.

The beauty of it is with these limited series now, no one has to commit to shit these days. One season, two seasons, three seasons, you know. So, we’ll see what happens. I just wrote a feature film — a political satire — and I wanna make that next, so I’m in the process of shopping it. I’m hat in hand right now.

You’ve been in the director’s chair, both for Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess as well as your horror comedy My Name is Bruce. Would you be interested in directing again, possibly for the movie you just wrote?

All the projects that I’m currently gonna be involved with now, moving forward, I’ll be directing in some way. Raising money for low budget movies — I have as much experience as anybody now, so there’s no reason to look for anybody else. I’ll just direct myself.

It’s time for the new sheriff to come into town.

Another thing that makes Evil Dead so compelling is the long-running team behind it. Even if it’s not Evil Dead, would you be down to act in future projects with Sam and Ted Raimi, or your Ash vs Evil Dead costars?

Well, I would be happy to work with any of them again, but I just can’t say. Sam, who knows? Sam’s off making these 10-minute shorts. I forget the name of the company, but everyone’s making shorts now, so go figure.

Kind of like YouTube — getting on that train?

Yeah, I don’t know. It’s all new to me. I’m sticking with the true-blue formats for now.

If you had the opportunity to reprise any other characters that you’ve played previously, like fan favorite Brisco County, Jr., would you be interested? Or do you want to focus on all new material and characters?

New stuff is always my favorite, but I would definitely do Brisco Rides Again, and I would definitely do more Burn Notice. We’re sort of circling the building now with Burn Notice. Maybe it’s time to save the world again. The world needs us.

You recently updated your memoir Hail to the Chin with a new “Requiem for Ash,” and are making appearances tied to the book’s rerelease. How do you integrate tours and press appearances without blowing out your schedule, and how do they differ from press junkets you do for film and TV?

The beauty of working with a company is when it’s time to do press, they’ve really got it down. I saved a bunch of my itineraries from Ash vs Evil Dead just because of how ridiculous they were, so I can look back and show my grandchildren “this was a press day in New York City.” So, you really got the support. The only difference is when you do low budget stuff, or even books, you’re kind of on your own, and it’s way more down-home. It’s Twitter, it’s Facebook, it’s Facebook ads or whatever. It’s no national TV — nothin’. It’s a whole different ball game.

You know, I’m a one-man band. I’ll miss a few interviews because I forgot or didn’t put it in my schedule or whatever. Someone’ll call, I’ll go, “What do you want?” They’re like, “We have a phoner.” I go, “Really? Ok, great.” This one I happened to remember. We do what we can.

A Conversation with Bruce Campbell and Screening of Army of Darkness: $29.50-$125, 8 p.m. Friday, October 25, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com.

#Bruce Campbell

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amandaoftherosemire · 6 years

Text

Lightning Strikes Part Five

Fandom: Marvel Avengers AU

Pairing: Thor Odinson X Reader

Characters: Thor Odinson, Loki Odinson, Bucky Barnes

Author: @amandaoftherosemire

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 5,280

Format: Series (Complete)

Warning: Language.

Summary: You spend time with Loki.

A/N: The first couple parts of this was written a while ago for @buckysforeverprincess 500 Follower Writing Prompt Challenge. Not consistent with Marvel canon. I have willfully and deliberately ignored the events of Infinity War. The Statesman made it to Earth after a largely uneventful journey and everyone is FINE. The only thing I’ve taken from Infinity War is Stormbreaker because it’s cool as hell.

I want to thank everyone who sticks with my fics since I’m terrible at updating regularly. I also want to thank everyone who leaves feedback or sends me messages about them. It really does encourage me to write. I might not have stuck with this if someone hadn’t dropped me an ask about it. This seems to be only true for me, but I have no problem with being asked when I’m going to update as long as you’re not a dick about it. 😄

This one took me some time until I stopped trying to make Loki do anything. It sounds weird but after a while I started thinking the real thing was fucking with me for daring to think I was in charge.

Part Four: Idolatry here

Antithesis

Several weeks later you sat at your desk in your office at the compound and tried with all your might to focus on one of the worst parts of your job. Full of legalese that proved to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that half the lawyers in the world only existed because the other half did, you were knee-deep in some bullshit. Reading documents like this was literally your least favorite part of the job description.

And it certainly didn't help that the author of the document was a member of the legal department with whom you were unfortunately familiar. You'd made it a point to not drink that heavily at office events since. The man may have been hot, but he was also an arrogant, pretentious fuckrag.

You couldn't help but be preoccupied. The Odinson brothers were driving you to distraction, though for very different reasons. You were running on fumes at this point, but you didn't know how to stop. Between the two, you were only getting a few hours of sleep a night even if it was only in making up missed work. Neither man was very good with the concept of deadlines or limited amounts of time, though Loki was the far worse of the two. You imagined you could thank Thor's time living on Earth, not to mention his sweet nature, for his greater consideration.

Thor. When he was there, he was quite possibly perfect. Funny and good natured, he was a joy to be around the vast majority of the time. Most of the time you spent together he seemed determined to wring everything he could get out of every minute with you. It was delightfully intense, because it wasn't just sex. Honestly, you'd have preferred it if it was, because he was sweet, and charming, and scarily intelligent, and you were terrified you were falling head over heels in love with him.

When he was there, he was the perfect companion, attentive without being overbearing, energetic without being exhausting, sweet without being cloying. He was also one of the most interesting men you'd ever met, a veritable fount of knowledge with an easy willingness to impart it. He had great stories, and a somewhat dramatic way of telling them. On top of that, he was a great listener, eager to learn everything you'd tell him about yourself, your life, your world. You'd yet to spend a boring minute in his presence.

When he was there, he made you feel like no one ever had before, like you were glowing from the inside out. He didn't just make you feel special, he seemed to think you were remarkable, as though he'd never even imagined someone like you. Aside from his myriad attractions, the outrageous body, the dreamy smile, the sweet and generous nature, that wonder at the reality of you would have been irresistible on its own. He sometimes had a look in his eye like he couldn't believe you were real. The idea that someone as extraordinary as Thor, considering where he'd come from and all that he'd seen, could find you not only astonishing, but delightfully so, was captivating.

When he was there, he couldn't seem to keep his hands off you, as though he thought you the sexiest woman on the planet. Not only was he ready, willing, and eager to go to bed whenever and wherever, he'd happily spend all day at it if you'd let him. To your amused chagrin, you'd now had sex in any number of rooms in the compound that you'd never even set foot in before. He was an utter hedonist, deeply sensual, basely sexual, and without an ounce of shame in his entire gorgeous body. Being his lover was both exhilarating and exhausting.

When he was there, you forgot all the reasons you should not fall in love with Thor Odinson. When he was there, you couldn't think about anything but the fact that you were happier with him than you'd ever been before. When he was there, you let tomorrow worry about itself and lived in the moment.

As he made every moment a shimmering jewel, as every moment dazzled you, seduced you, destroyed you, it was dangerously easy to lose yourself in him. When he was there.

That was the thing, though. He most often was NOT there.

Which you got. And not in that bullshit way where you say you get it, but you're only saying it because you know you're supposed to. You actually got it. You knew Thor had more than you could imagine on his plate; busy didn't begin to describe it. That he took the time he did to spend with you wasn't just flattering, it had the romantic corner of your heart sighing dreamily.

Unfortunately, when Thor wasn't there, which was most of the time, you were entirely too aware of how doomed your relationship with him truly was. Whether you looked at the differences in your circumstances, the distance between your homes, or the insanity of your lives, there was no way this could possibly work long term; you were sure of it. When you added in the fact that he was a king, a god, a hero, it was just getting ridiculous.

Lastly, there was the terrible thought you'd had once in the middle of the night that you never let yourself think again but that sat in the back of your brain like a goblin, snickering and waiting for its chance to start gnawing on your mind. You'd first thought of it when you were once again alone; Thor had left the afternoon before and your bed was suddenly depressingly cold and lonely. After hours of sleepless worry about all the other things bound to go wrong, you'd had a thought so awful, of an obstacle so insurmountable, you'd immediately wrapped it in layers of oh hell no and stuffed in the darkest corner in the smallest, darkest closet of your mind. If you didn't think of it, you could allow yourself to enjoy this glorious fantasy until something else destroyed the dream.

You'd had the thought because of Loki, actually. Not because of something he'd deliberately pointed out, but an offhand comment regarding something that happened when he and Thor had been children. The story had been funny, and Loki had a way of drawing you in, but a tiny detail had stuck inside your mind like a bur. That detail chafed, keeping your brain scratching at it until you came to the realization that ruined your hopes and broke your heart. Like an oyster with a grain of sand, you'd started covering that thought in layers until your mind could glide over it easily without any scraping or stumbling.

Loki, on the other hand, was always there, both when you wanted him and not. He acted as though he had decided you were the only person in the compound he could stand for more than a few minutes. You suspected he liked plenty of people way more than he let on, but he seemed devoted to his persona of smug superiority. Unfortunately, this meant when Loki got bored, he came looking for you. Being forced to behave himself and stay in the compound did not amuse or entertain him so he came looking for you a lot. As a matter of fact, he came looking for you all. the damn. time.

You adored Loki, truly. It wasn't that you objected to spending time with him. It was that you could not make him care about the fact that you had other things to do. He had no qualms about interrupting your workday, no matter how many times you asked him not to, leading to plenty of afterhours catch-up. He thought most of what you did was stupid, so he didn't give two shits about getting in the way of it. It was strangely admirable, his dedication to not giving a fuck.

The problem was that Loki didn't cause as much trouble when you were catering to his whims and dancing attendance upon him. To be fair, Loki didn't really cause trouble; it was more that he subtly arranged circumstances in favor of the most dramatic or disastrous outcome. He loved to sit back and watch fireworks he'd personally arranged. When you'd confided your difficulties in Pepper, she had assured you that time spent placating Loki would be considered work time if for no other reason than that it gave everyone else a break. At her direction, you had been spending most of your time at the compound to make it easier for you to tend to him and make the team members' lives a little easier while Loki was in residence.

Which is how you knew, when he strode into your office with an air of impatience, you'd be giving in to his whims after a sham refusal you'd enact purely for form.

"I’m bored." Loki burst into the room the way he did everything, with an arrogance that bordered on contempt. Perhaps it was a sign of something wrong with you, but Loki's attitude, rather than offending you, perfectly tickled the perverse part of your sense of humor.

You didn't even look up from your paperwork. You were entirely too familiar with this tune to do more than absently bob your head along with the beat. You scoffed. "I care."

Loki stared holes in the top of your head, not that it ever seemed to bother you. But then you often reacted in unexpected ways. Is that why he kept scratching at you? If he could understand you, predict your behavior, would you finally bore him as much as most humans? "Why, exactly, do you do this?" he asked, as he settled into one of the chairs in front of your desk.

"No, it’s fine." You rolled your eyes but kept your eyes off Loki. You knew from experience that once you looked at him, he would consider the acknowledgement as validation and you'd spend the rest of the day answering his questions. "I’m not trying to parse legalese right now or anything."

Loki stayed silent. He refused to repeat himself. Also, he'd noticed that his silence seemed to exasperate you faster than anything else. He examined his cuticles while he waited for the quiet to do its work.

For a while, the only sound in the room was the brush of fabric as either of you shifted position and the whisper of each turn of the page. You often printed legalese like this out so that you could mark on it without the risk of sending something like 'who the fuck does this asshole think he is?' to the asshole in question. You vowed to keep doing it, if for no other reason than that it was so much more dramatic than rolling a scroll button on a mouse.

You could tell by the quality of the hush that settled over the room that Loki was in one of his more difficult moods, meaning that he would only get more and more petulant the longer you put him off. Though you hated to do it as a matter of principle, you knew giving in would cost you far less time and annoyance than pretending to allow him to irritate you into paying attention to him. The pragmatist in you would not allow you to stand on principle when there was no benefit to you other than self-righteousness.

You gave an exaggerated sigh as marked your place in the document with a quickly scrawled LNA, your code for Loki Needs Attention and the current time. Pepper had asked you to keep track of how much time you were spending dancing attention on the Asgardian prince, though you didn’t include the time you gave on your off-hours.

You placed the document into a file folder, closing it carefully and placing your interlaced fingers on top as you made it clear you were focusing on Loki under protest and with utmost exasperation. "Why do I do what?"

Loki smiled inwardly even as his face moved into a sneer. "This!" He swept his arm out to take in the room they sat in. "Labor for these people?"

"Okay." You infused as much doubt as you could into the word. You looked around at your very nice office and decided not to ask what exactly he found so distasteful. "Two reasons. First, I love the things money can buy, like food and shelter and liquor. Second, because I’m fucking awesome at it. We done?" You lifted your eyebrows at him in the kind of bored disdain you knew he'd find most challenging, and thus most entertaining.

Loki matched your tone as he stood to wander the room and examine the furnishings. He did this every time. "I’d ask what you do in here, but frankly I don’t care."

You shot him a toothy grin and a beam of sarcastic cheer. "Great. Bye."

Loki didn't deign to answer this time. He knew he had you now. He could almost hear your mind rationalizing the decision to simply give in and give him what he wanted. In his experience, it was always best to let people manipulate themselves. He meandered over to the bookshelves, as he often did, where you had books and photographs taking up most of one long wall. Some of the books were work related, but plenty were from your personal collection.

Every time he came into this room, he liked to take a different book down from the shelf and skim through it. Your preferred reading material told him a great deal about you. Loki needed to understand you if he was to accurately assess the situation. He also liked to examine a different photo in the hopes of deciphering why you smiled like a lunatic in every picture you were in. He suspected it was something to hide behind, similar to his own superior smirk.

Loki eyes slid over the titles, looking for anything somewhat interesting that he hadn't already tried. He found human society largely boring if not aggravating, but he couldn't help but enjoy the art. He considered it mostly primitive, but with a raw energy that made it compelling. The depth and breadth of human art was the most impressive thing about the species, he thought. Not that that was saying much.

You were already bored watching him amble around your office. "Oh my god! You win; I don’t want to fight." Loki turned away from the bookcase with a smug smile. You laughed as soon as you saw it and rolled your eyes indulgently. "I’ll make you a deal. Give me an hour to take care of the most pressing matters, and at the end of that hour, I will set everything else aside to cater to your whims and find something to entertain you." You leveled a wryly amused look his way; you were both convinced you were outwitting the other but if you were honest the two of you just liked the drama of it.

Loki's face spread in a wickedly pleased smile and you couldn't help the little twinge of attraction that shimmered through you. Hell, you were faithful, not dead. Fairly gloating, Loki turned to leave. "I’ll be back in an hour."

"Outstanding,” you replied with a thin smile.

As Loki opened the door, Bucky was raising his fist to knock on it. The two men glared at one another for a moment before Bucky rolled his eyes and stepped back, sweeping his arm out in a mockery of gallantry. Loki sneered but walked by without comment.

"Hey, doll." Once Loki was out of the way, Bucky poked his head through the door. "You got a minute?"

You replied with a flirty smile and batted eyelashes. "For you? Always." Bucky smiled sweetly as he came in and shut the door. He looked a little uncomfortable as he took the seat Loki had recently vacated. "Uh-oh," you said with widened eyes and raised brows. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know. Is it?" Bucky was still looking a little uncomfortable, but his eyes shone with concern. You were baffled.

You looked around, your expression serious but a touch confused. "Is this a riddle?"

Bucky's face softened into a smile. "I don't see you anymore; I miss you." He leaned forward and placed his hand palm up on your desk. "If Thor isn't here, Loki is monopolizing your time."

"You have no idea," you replied with a laugh as you leaned forward to place your hand in his. You squeezed gently and would have let go if he hadn’t held on. You frowned and tilted your head. “What?”

Bucky didn’t smile, and you realized that whatever this was, he was serious. “I'm worried,” he confessed, and you could tell he was concerned that he was crossing a line. This was new territory in your friendship and such things always caused Bucky a ton of anxiety.

You felt a pang of remorse that you’d forgotten about your other friends when the Odinson brothers had come into your life. Bucky was incredibly dear to you and you knew how difficult he sometimes found living at the compound. He'd once confessed that half the time the only thing keeping him there was Steve. You sometimes suspected he relied upon your company a great deal as well, not that he'd ever said anything. You couldn't help but feel guilty for being so distracted.

Bucky let go of your hand when you stood up and walked around the desk to sit in the chair next to his. You leaned back casually and crossed your legs, hoping to make it clear by your demeanor that you did not consider the subject off-limits or over the line. “About Thor?” you inquired with a sassy smirk. “Or Loki?”

“Truth be told, both,” Bucky replied with a wry laugh, “but Loki is the more immediate threat.”

"Well, love, I have good news and bad news." You leaned your elbow on the chair arm and placed your chin on your fist. "The bad news is that Loki would drive you all mad if I didn't keep him somewhat occupied. The good news is that he's not a threat, just a pain in my ass." You dropped your hand to Bucky's forearm and squeezed gently. "I know you don't understand this, but I like Loki.'

Bucky looked down at your hand, surprised to find that it didn't bother him that you were touching his metal arm. Perhaps it was because you hadn't seemed to notice. "Why?" he asked, his voice rich with a wealth of confusion, doubt, and amused disbelief.

You laughed and used the hand on his arm to push at him. "I like smartasses. Why do you think I'm madly in love with you?"

"Fine," Bucky smiled, but his eyes still looked worried. “Just promise me that you won't make the mistake of trusting him.”

“I'll thank you to not insult my intelligence,” you scoffed in reply. When Bucky didn’t answer, just continued to watch you carefully, you rolled your eyes and answered with a wry half-smile. “Oh my god, I promise.”

“Good.” Bucky relaxed into the chair with a wicked grin. “Now, you wanna tell me everything about Thor?”

Your expression turned sly as you shot a matching grin his way. “How much time you got?”

A few days later your office door flew inward with a slam as Loki’s voice rang out. “Y/N!”

You, once again, did not bother to look up from your work. “Sure. Come on in. I'm not quite obviously terribly awfully busy or anything.”

“I don't even know what odd human things you do in here, let alone why it matters.” Loki moved to the other side of the desk and looked down his nose at you from his towering height.

You shrugged and murmured absently, “Since you're asking—"

“I most certainly am not.” Loki cut you off with a sneer.

You finally looked up at Loki, blinking to bring yourself back to the present. “Did you come in here for an actual reason, or did you just need someone to pay attention to you?”

“How is that not an actual reason?” His lips twitched ever so slightly, something you'd learned was one of his tells. He was in one of his playful moods, which was surprising considering how put out he had been the day before when you'd opted to spend your evening with Steve and Bucky. Loki had hidden it well, but he'd been irritated under the disdain when he refused to join you.

The corner of your mouth curled up just a hair as you responded. "Loki, to your astonishment I’m sure, catering to your moods is not actually in my job description."

Loki, ever mercurial, turned away from you to walk to your bookshelves. "If you’re certain you don’t have any time for me; I suppose I can amuse myself."

"I know that’s meant to send a chill down my spine." Your voice was dry as dust, but the genuine amusement came through loud and clear. "And it does, but it is not the policy of this office to negotiate with terrorists.”

"Pet," Loki's voice had taken on a strange timbre when he said the word, and it sent a literal shiver down your spine, but whether it was fear or desire you weren't entirely sure. "I’d much rather annoy you than someone else. The others aren’t as much fun."

You opted to put the sensation out of your mind. If it was fear there was little good dwelling on it would do for you. If it was desire, dwelling on it would most definitely make things worse. You answered as though his voice hadn't taken on an almost seductive tone. "If you will behave yourself for the rest of the morning, I’ll take a long lunch and give you my undivided attention the whole time. Deal?"

Loki smiled.

After you'd eaten a quick lunch, you drug Loki outside to enjoy the sunshine. Once you'd flopped down onto the grass and braced yourself on your elbows to tilt your face to the sun, you slanted a raised eyebrow in his direction. "Okay, spill. What’s your deal?"

You had your eyes closed against the light, but you could hear the sneer on his face loud and clear. "I beg your pardon?"

"Loki," you began and there was a wealth of patience in your tone. You opened one eye to fix him with a gimlet stare. "I am neither naïve nor stupid. Why are you paying so much attention to me? Is it because I'm banging your brother?"

The sneer twisted from arrogance to disgust. "For reasons that currently escape me, I actually enjoy your company." You gasped dramatically and let your muscles go limp, dropping to the ground in a mock faint. Loki rolled his eyes even as his mouth twitched. "I know. I was shocked, too."

You opened your eyes and looked up at his amused scorn. Though most wouldn't understand why, you were deeply touched. This was probably the nicest he'd ever been to a human. You smiled at him, and for once it was utterly genuine and sincere, with no sarcasm or disdain to hide behind. "Loki, are we friends?"

Loki watched you out of the corner of his eye. He had long ago learned to hide his true feelings behind whatever mask suited his needs best at any given time. He had seen in you the same tendency for all you hid behind careless charm and a sense of humor. Until this moment, however, he hadn't suspected that you hid a tender heart.

He had thought you were one like him, cynical, cold, careless. To find in your open and unguarded smile something sweet and wholesome explained one conundrum even as it raised a whole host of other problems. He felt a tiny twinge of remorse, a rarity for him even these days. He sniffed. "No. You're my pet."

"Then I expect you to start bringing me presents and treats." You closed your eyes again and spoke archly. You could tell something bothered him and assumed it was his discomfort with anything resembling sincerity or sentiment. "If I'm going to be a pet, I insist on being a spoiled one."

Loki turned his head to look at you properly. He could tell immediately what you were doing and found it both disarmingly sweet and deeply disturbing. You were far too perceptive for you own good and he still had many, many secrets to protect. "You are wasted on my brother. You know that, right?"

You hated when he did this. You steadfastly refused to discuss with Loki whatever was happening between you and Thor. Though their relationship seemed easier than you’d expected, considering the stories you’d heard from others, there was still a tension between them you didn’t understand and neither man seemed interested in explaining.

The few times Loki had commented on your relationship with Thor, he’d made it clear he disapproved. You also steadfastly refused to ask what exactly he disapproved of. You allowed Loki to tell stories from their past, but you would not talk about your present. It felt… disloyal. To both of them.

“I do not. Your brother doesn't waste a bit of me.” You kept your eyes closed but let your lips curve into a satisfied feline smile. “He uses every part.”

The horrified silence that followed had you prying one eye open to glance up at Loki. You immediately burst into fits of wicked laughter at the look of disgust and loathing you found on his face. “Why would you say such a thing to me?” he asked, his tone rich with disbelief and a hint of hurt.

“You're being a dick,” you replied with a careless shrug and a challenging grin when you’d stopped laughing.

Loki expression hardly changed, but his face took on a sinister cast that had a chill running down your spine. For the first time since you’d met him, you truly believed him capable of the things you knew he’d done. “He'll never truly appreciate you,” he mocked, both sly and cruel, “because he'll never truly understand you.”

You yawned, deliberately, as his words and demeanor were making you sick to your stomach. “You make me sound so complicated and mysterious.” You closed your eyes again, a deliberate dismissal. “It’s dumb, but I dig it.”

Loki made a sound somewhere between a scoff and a snort. “You may be able to fool those like my brother too dull and blind to see what you really are, but don’t insult me.”

“And what am I?” Your voice was harsh as you asked the question, and you sat up to look Loki full in the face. You were holding onto your temper with both hands; only the knowledge that he would love to goad you into a tantrum restraining you. “Really?”

“A realist, like me.” Loki was well aware of what he was doing. He turned his head and looked out across the grass at the main building. He wondered what it would take to truly set you off and considered it necessary to find out. “You don't concern yourself with what's right, but what's expedient.”

You frowned. This wasn’t what you were expecting, and you weren’t sure how to proceed. He was being insulting, but in a way that made you question whether that was his intent. “I prefer to think of myself as a pragmatist,” you said slowly. Your somewhat warped sense of humor rushed to the fore and you laughed as you pushed at his shoulder, not that you moved him even a little. “And I do so worry about doing what's right. I just take what's expedient into account, too.”

The corner of Loki’s mouth lifted in a small smile. Your casual shrug as you said the last only proved his point as far as he was concerned. “You also have a talent for reframing things in your favor. Of shuffling words until you're in the right. I admire that.”

“So, you're saying I'm too good for your brother because I’m too much like you?”

“No,” he chuckled. “He's too good for the both of us. I'm saying he'll never comprehend your true worth because he's too good.”

“Okay.” You weren’t sure how he’d managed to drag you into this conversation. Now that you had been, however, you desperately wanted to know why. "For the sake of argument, let's assume that I accept your premise. What's your fucking point?"

Loki finally looked at you, one brow raising in mock surprise. "Do I need one?" You raised a matching eyebrow, but yours was skeptical. Loki narrowed his eyes, his expression turning menacing. "I’m somewhat fond of you. I don’t think I’d enjoy seeing you in pain."

Unable to help yourself, even knowing you'd end up paying for it, you snickered outright. "I have bad news for you, Loki. It sure seems like you’re my friend."

The look of disgust Loki shot your way had you erupting into gales of delighted laughter. Worth it.

You never did get a straight answer out of him, but that was only to be expected. Loki could give lessons on inscrutability. You opted to file away the conversation for further contemplation at a later date.

Even though you weren't entirely sure why Loki had given you what you assumed was a warning, you were sure that Loki never did anything without reason. The reason may seem batshit crazy to you, but it was there. If he felt the need to speak on the subject, he had a purpose. However, you also couldn't discount the possibility that he was simply fucking with you for his own entertainment.

Regardless, you put it away, knowing you’d end up obsessing on it in the middle of the night during some bout of insomnia when Thor wasn’t there to exhaust you into sleep.

The next day you burst into the common kitchen in a towering rage, holding something sparkling and pink. You flung the thing at Loki’s feet, your entire demeanor pure, unbridled fight me. Pushing your face into his as best you could considering his height, you pointed imperiously at the ridiculous thing he'd left in a beautifully wrapped gift box on your desk. You shouted, your voice practically booming through the room and turning all heads your way, "Did you gift wrap a fucking leash?!"

Loki was as close to speechless as he ever got. The sight of you in a full-blown temper was something truly magnificent. Your narrowed eyes sparkled with rage and your lips parted to let furious huffs of breath through. He found it interesting that passion, whether from anger or desire, made you beautiful.

Rather than say that, however, Loki’s lips curved in an amused smile as he replied, “I thought you want to be spoiled, pet.” His expression shifted into a mockery of innocence. “Is this not what you meant?”

Loki braced for the explosion, certain he’d pushed you into losing your temper completely. Instead, the humor of the moment struck you with such force that you couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up inside you. He’d somehow acquired a cat collar that spelled out your name in rhinestones, for fuck’s sake.

As your expression melted from furious insult to genuine merriment, Loki felt another of those annoying pangs of remorse. It really was too bad. As humans went, you’d just become one of his favorites.

Part Six: Crucible here

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frankbelloriley · 5 years

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top ten wrasslin’ matches of 2018

So before I get into this, I’m gonna lay down some ground rules--well, more like tell you the rules I gave myself and those rules are 1) did it make me laugh a bunch and forget about how stupid the world is? (which is the basis for every one of these kinds of lists really) 2) would I show this to someone who had never seen wrestling before? and 3) one (1) match per episode/pay-per-view with one (1) exception for a good reason With that in mind, I’m going to get some honorable mentions out of the way:

Kazuchika Okada vs Tetsuya Naito for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship, Kenny Omega vs Chris Jericho for the IWGP US Championship, and the Fatal Four Way for the IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Championship between Marty Scurll, KUSHIDA, Hiromu Takahashi, and Will Ospreay from Wrestle Kingdom 12-- they’re all really good and fun and worth checking out, but another Wrestle Kingdom 12 match is going on this list

The other two Chris Jericho NJPW matches versus Tetsuya Naito and EVIL--not on this list literally only due to the “one match per ppv” rule, but they’re all very fun, Chris Jericho is delightfully dickish and you should watch them in order to see Chris Jericho become a progressively more goth dad (he out gothed a dude named “EVIL” (all caps theirs, not mine) that’s how goth Chris Jericho got)

As much as it pains me and as much as it is a testament to what good wrestling there was in 2018, none of the Johnny Gargano-Tommaso Ciampa matches (1, 2, 3, which I can’t find online and whatever) are on this list (my favorite is probably their second match), and neither is Velveteen Dream-Tommaso Ciampa which rips (can I interest you in a fight between a Prince inspired wrassler who refers to himself in the third person and whose act became a giant subtweet of Hulk Hogan against just the biggest asshole in the world?). There is only one Johnny Gargano match on here, and if I’m writing a list of the best character arcs in 2018, the list goes Gargano’s redemption only to succumb to the dark side, Kazuchika Okada’s existential crisis after losing the championship, and Becky Lynch becoming The Man in that order. Becky’s arc really only started four-five months ago and much of it was spent by creative trying and utterly failing to get the crowd to boo her, and Okada’s arc was, by design, slow and frustrating after he lost the championship, but Gargano basically started the year as Luke Skywalker getting his hand cut off and ended the year as Kylo Ren yelling at a ghost on the salt planet, with every character turn making sense. It’s fascinating.

Speaking of, no Aleister Black-Johnny Gargano at NXT War Games 2 match which might be as pure a classic wrestling story as there is, second only to the Gargano match that is actually on here. (In real life, Aleister Black hurt his leg, so in story, they explained it that he got attacked in the parking lot by an unknown person, so the mystery of who attacked him would go on for months (coincidentally the same amount of time it would take someone to recover from an injury like Aleister Black’s) until Johnny Gargano fessed up to the act by kicking him in the face, so now Aleister is seeking justice. Wrestling is delightfully extra.

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair vs Asuka TLC match for the Smackdown Women’s Championship (no link, couldn’t find)-- whew (not “woo” in this house we boo the woo) Asuka was finally Asuka again (her first and last ppv matches in 2018 (this and against Charlotte at Wrestlemania) are super great and everything else is super not), Becky Lynch continued being the actual greatest, and I literally do not know how Charlotte Flair did not end up in the hospital after this. It’s not making the list for how the match ends in bullshit fashion even though it ends perfectly in character with consistent story logic (a pleasant fucking surprise from WWE especially considering, again, the rest of Asuka’s year)

None of the Shayna Baszler-Kairi Sane matches (can’t find NXT Takeover Brooklyn 4, but I found Evolution and NXT War Games II) (NXT was really good this year), which is a shame because all of which are great, but my personal favorite is on Evolution, and another match beats it out. As I’m writing out the list, I realized there aren’t a bunch of women’s matches, but that’s because WWE’s creative ideas for its women’s division was garbage until the Becky Lynch turn happened in August and got a crowd reaction they super didn’t want and tried to change until they were finally forced them to lean into it. However, Evolution was easily the best main roster WWE ppv.

Nothing from All In literally only because that show is for Wrestling Fans, and this list is supposed to be a “if you’ve never watched wrestling in your life” list. All In is good good fun, but if you show it to someone who’s never seen wrestling before, they’re gonna ask why are there dick druids, and you’re gonna have to explain that Joey Ryan, a dude who wrestles with his dick, came back to life after being murdered and the number one suspect was the guy from Arrow (really). Get into wrestling, then watch that PPV.

Good god, that’s a lot of honorable mentions. Anyway:

10. Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens, an open Intercontinental Championship Challenge on Monday Night RAW, August 27th - this is just a really fun wrestling match between two talented guys who were stuck in other feuds that were prolonged needlessly in 2018, and it was just fun to see these guys branch out, do something different, and tear the house down against each other like, “oh yeah, these two are really good at what they do, I almost forgot.”

9. Andrade Cien Almas vs. AJ Styles - Smackdown Live on September 18--Like Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins, AJ Styles was stuck in bad storylines that meant to make him look like a strong champion but ended up making him look like a plot armored goober. Here we have the story of the cocky upstart Almas taking the veteran champion Styles to his absolute limit with a finish that is smooth as hell.

8. Hiromu Takahashi vs. Will Ospreay, IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Championship at NJPW Dominion on June 9th - Spoiler for the number two entrant but this is where I’m breaking the “one per ppv rule” because Hiromu Takahashi has a broken neck and no one knows if he’ll ever wrestle again, so this might be his swan song. (He doesn’t break his neck in this match, I wouldn’t introduce him like that) These are two dudes who flip with zero caution to themselves with some incredible flippy shit. Watch it and pray for Hiromu to make a full recovery.

7. Six Man Ladder Match for the NXT North American Championship with Adam Cole, Ricochet, Velveteen Dream, EC3, Killian Dane, and Lars Sullivan - Okay, so, about this. Excepting Killian Dane and maybe Lars Sullivan, everyone here has had a better match elsewhere this year (Lars probably had a better match against Keith Lee, Adam Cole had his best match against Ricochet, Ricochet and EC3 had their best matches against Velveteen Dream, and Velveteen Dream had his best match against Tommaso Ciampa), but everyone gets a moment to shine here, and this is the NXT introduction of Ricochet who is basically a flippy videogame cheat code who is made out of some sort of alien substance. At one point the two large men Lars Sullivan and Killian Dane toss Ricochet across the ring to each other like they’re playing fucking catch. It’s hilarious and maybe the fifth most insane thing that happens here. If someone was to come up to me like, “I know nothing about wrestling, what should I watch to find out if I like it?” I would probably show them this.

6. Kenny Omega vs. Tomohiro Ishii, G1 Tournament Match - I’m laughing just thinking about this match. I don’t think anyone would call Tomohiro Ishii the best wrestler in the world, but I love him with my heart. Kenny too, but a boyish giggle comes out of me every time Tomohiro no sells someone slapping the utter shit out of him and he says (presumably) something like “that it?!” (I’m a fan of this gif of Pete Dunne slapping a no-selling Tomohiro for Pete Dunne shaking his hand afterwards. Physical comedy!). Anyway, the story here is Kenny Omega has gone 6-0 in this tournament, Ishii (who he has a competitive history with) has gone 0-6 in the tournament, so Kenny takes him for granted and when he realizes his opponent won’t go down that easily, it’s too late. It’s quick, it’s fast paced, and very fun.

5. Meiko Satomura vs Mercedes Martinez, Mae Young Classic Quarterfinals - I had no idea who these women were before the Mae Young Classic, but I loved Meiko with her first match in it, while Mercedes was just, you know, fine. But this? Wheeew. Two veterans giving it their all, and if you don’t turn into a Michael Scott crying gif after when they show each other respect, we ain’t the same.

4. Johnny Gargano vs Andrade Cien Almas, NXT Takeover: Philadelphia - Going with this one because it’s the most newbie friendly match, it kicks off Johnny Gargano’s year storyline at the finish, and Andrade Cien Almas is really really good at his job. It’s a simple “good guy versus arrogant heel” match, and Andrade comes out to a masked mariachi band as his entrance.

3. Kota Ibushi vs Cody Rhodes, Wrestle Kingdom 12 - there are probably better matches from Wrestle Kingdom 12 but this is my list so fuck you but this is the match where pro wrestling finally clicked with me after starting to watch it because of GLOW. Folks, this is a 20 minute Jackie Chan fight with Kota as the daffy Jackie Chan-like hero and Cody as Anime Biff Tannen. It is fast, has some wild acrobatics, and it is funny as hell.

2. Kazuchika Okada vs Kenny Omega, 2/3 Falls Match for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship (Part 1, Part 2), NJPW Dominion on June 9th - If the last one was a comedy, this is an epic. This thing last an hour and a half, and it goes by in a flash. The entire Okada-Omega series is basically wrestling’s Lord of the Rings, and this is its Return of the King. The only reason it’s not number one because of the match’s lack of follow through in the months since, but man, this is great.

1. Becky Lynch vs Charlotte Flair, Last Woman Standing Match at Evolution (start at 29:45 then watch the end here)- *types then deletes a bunch of unintelligible vowels* Okay, so this is the first match that really took advantage of the NXT Horsewomen since their call up in a good long while and it rules. I’d say Bayley, Sasha Banks, Charlotte Flair, and Becky Lynch had been given nothing for 2018 until August, but “nothing” would be a step up in some cases *cough* group therapy *cough* *cough* Nia Jax injuring every single one of them plus others and the only reason she still has a job is that she’s The Rock’s cousin *cough* Charlotte had her Wrestlemania match against Asuka, but this? This is mean, this is rough, this is the story of a girl, no this is the story of two former friends wanting to throw the other through a table. When pro wrestling is bad, it’s “what the fuck am I doing with my life watching this shit” bad, and when it’s good, there is nothing like it. This is the latter (not the ladder, but there are those here).

#told myself to finish writing this so i can work on my 'the year in summation' text post which i've done every year since 2015 #'it's a nice idea and one i want to keep doing throughout the years

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sending-the-message · 6 years

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Sometimes Dreamcatchers Can Pick Up Nightmares Too. by thegeneralg

With summer winding to a close, that means exactly one thing; it's county fair season. There is nothing else quite like it. Where else can you get deep fried anything, buy a "The Savage Life Chose Me" T shirt, and be treated to the finest people watching possible?

Which was what I was doing three days ago as I found myself strolling around the paths at my local county fair. While I tend to eat healthier most of the time, this was my opportunity to splurge. I had selected the deep fried Oreos covered with powdered sugar to cheat on my diet. It was so worth it.

While strolling around in the humid weather, I amused myself by watching my fellow fair goers. All around me were vendors, tents, and food trucks with people browsing and buying at every one of them. You could browse animals and other exhibits, but as always, the best form of entertainment in any sort of public event was the other people.

There are several categories of people watching one will inevitably find at any public event, especially where alcohol is available. Allow me to give you the highlights.

You will always have plenty of the massively overweight people wearing tank tops, short shorts, and clothes designed for someone far skinnier. Bonus points if they are eating something impressively unhealthy like deep fried butter, but even more if they are wearing an ironic t shirt (Dude with the apple fritter who was rocking the No Fat Chicks shirt, I'm talking to you).

Then, you will usually have a fair number of people with bad tattoos. I don't mean the odd name in cursive on someone's wrist or something. No, think massive neck tattoo that says something charming like "Go fuck yourself."

But of course my personal favorites are those inappropriately dressed middle aged people who try to pretend they can party like they did 25 years ago. We've all seen that guy who's skin looks just like the old leather jacket he's wearing, and sadly the jacket looks like its gotten less mileage.

But he has stiff competition from the soccer mom who's wearing something far too revealing for someone her age. Which makes things incredibly awkward when she gets hammered off her Sangria and her subsequent behavior makes half the people around her wish they could be flashed by the Memory modifier thing from the Men in Black movies. Particularly her husband, who has to drive her home in the minivan with the "Proud Parent Of An Honor Student" bumper sticker. Good times, especially once they all start getting hammered and start dancing, fighting, singing, or all of the above.

As I was amusing myself by seeing who was the best fairgoer of them all, I was also looking at exhibits. One booth was selling delightfully inappropriate bumper stickers. I was sorely tempted by the "Horn Broken, Watch For Finger" one, but I decided against it.

As I was admiring the refreshing breeze that had suddenly descended upon the fair, I noticed another tent standing amidst the others. It was filled with shelves holding dreamcatchers, elaborately carved knives, and turquoise jewelry. The breeze caught some of the dreamcatchers and made them sway in the wind, like some sort of wind chime. The brightly colored feathers seemed to glide through the air. I have always found something captivating about Dreamcatchers and Native American lore.

There is something both familiar and foreign about it. Like something you are aware of, but at the same time you don't really understand the reason behind it. But you are fascinated by it all the same.

Since I had just moved to the area about two months ago, I was still getting settled. My duplex was in that sort of post moving flux where it didn't quite have the whole lived in feel yet. Something from this booth would definitely help that. I took my time browsing, looking for just the right Dreamcatcher. It was a hard choice, because they were all beautiful looking. Definitely not the cheap, touristy, flea market kind you got for someone in a gift shop. No, these all looked like they belonged in a museum.

My eyes suddenly caught the red one and I knew I just had to have it. It looked more like an ornament because as opposed to having just one circle with the web inside it, it had one large one and several lower ones dangling beneath it. It was decorated with large red feathers with peacock feathers added in between the red ones. The effect was stunning when it caught the light. Immediately snatching it up, I made my way to the cashier. A slightly overweight guy was manning it. He must have been in his early 60s and was dressed in a blue denim shirt and slacks.

"14.95," he said in a deep voice as he took my Dreamcatcher and punched in the numbers on the register. Handing him the money, he put my Dreamcatcher in a plastic bag and handed it back to me. "Good choice my boy. This one is gorgeous. I hope it serves you well," he added with a smile.

"Thanks. I know just where I am going to put it,." I replied as I was about to leave.

"That's the spirit. Have a good night, and since you bought one of those, sleep well. They always do the job well." Apparently he was one of those guys who got really into whatever he was selling. Whatever, it was definitely an improvement over those broody assholes who could barely be bothered to look up from their phone to assist you when you wanted to buy something.

"Good to hear. Thanks again." I said over my shoulder as I was walking out. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and hung the Dreamcatcher on the wall like I planned. As expected, it looked perfect there. Whenever I passed it, I couldn't help but notice how well it tied the space together. Like any new piece of furniture or decoration, you constantly notice it until it blends into the space.

Crawling into bed that night, I fell asleep immediately. But it was not exactly restful because I must have had a nightmare or something. I don't know exactly what happened. But my adrenaline was going insane and when I woke up. I was in a cold sweat and I immediately bolted up as soon as I opened my eyes.

Looking around the bedroom, I realized what happened and took a deep breath. Just a bad dream. No doubt because of the incredibly healthy food I had eaten at the fair. No wonder I was in a cold swear, my body was processing all that deep fried grease. As a kid, I struggled with night terrors and I had been going through a lot of post moving stress. Living in a new place and whatnot is always hard, so I shrugged it off and went on as normal.

The rest of my day passed by uneventfully and I forgot about what happened the night before. In fact, I was actually looking forward to a good nights sleep. When it was time for bed, I turned out the light, rolled over on my left side, and went to sleep.

While I didn't have the exact same experience I had the night before, I certainly didn't have a pleasant night's rest either. I dreamt there was an unexpected knock at my door.

"Excuse me, my car broke down can you help me?" The voice on the other side of the door said. It was a woman speaking. I went to the door and looked through the peephole. When I did, I almost shouted in shock. It was no woman on the other side of the door. Not even close.

Standing on just the other side of the door was some guy. A massive guy, well over 6 feet. But taking another look, I saw he was pretty thin. It was a weird look, the giant head with long, unkept hair on the scrawny, famished frame. And those bulbous, yellow eyes that didn't look human. The eyes were the worst. They didn't match a human face at all. Standing there, I didn't dare say a word. All I could do was stare out the peephole, silently watching and hoping he would go away. After what seemed like an eternity, he backed up and walked away.

Perhaps walking isn't quite then best word to describe it. He seemed to slouch down and stalk away, lumbering creepily down the steps. As it was leaving I noticed one last thing. His hands hand long nails. They looked almost like claws, and they were absolutely filthy looking. Like whoever was at my door had been digging in the ground or something. As he turned his back to my door and walked away, I couldn't believe what happened next.

In the blink of an eye, the stranger was gone. I don't mean the stranger started running away or something like that. I mean he just vanished into thin air. The panic that had seized ahold of me and refused to let go lessened slightly at this.

The next thing I knew, my face was pressed down into my pillow and I was panting slightly. Warily raising my head up, I wasn't sure what happened. The dream began slowly to fade the instant I woke up, becoming more like a distant memory. That was a hell of a bad dream. I hadn't had one like that in a while. Amazing what your mind will come up with isn't it? After taking a moment, I rolled out of bed.

Since this was Monday, that meant it was time for work. The routine of showering, getting dressed, and eating my usual breakfast of scrambled eggs helped push the dream out of my head. At least it did until I stepped outside my front door.

The front door to my duplex is a heavy wooden door with a deadbolt with a white screen door in front of it. Usually I pay no attention to my screen door, but today was different. During the night, some animal must have been outside because the door's screen had been torn and ripped. I could see the long, thin marks that looked like claws. Based on the scratches, something had really wanted to get inside.

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

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redlemonz · 7 years

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Day #4

I am someone else when I’m with you - someone more like myself. These are the thoughts I woke up to after the events of the last evening. She brings me countless levels of joy that were previously undiscovered before she stepped foot into my life. Her adventurous, outgoing spirit takes you everywhere - from the summit of many mountains, to the depths of the caves, to her own elemental home of water (all kinds of beaches, pools, natural springs). If life was a narcotic, she’d be the enabler. Even putting such factors aside, it’s easy to realise that she’s the human being we all strive to be - “the whole package” as modern day terminology would have it, the one you wish the rest of the world could take example from. Cliche as it all is, she truly does make me feel more like myself - it’s as if I’ve been constantly discovering more about myself through her.

Day 4 - love: the best self torture?

It’s Friday. Generally that’d be one of the most exciting features of any working class hero’s week - however as discovered, time and the brain are your own worst enemies, especially when they team up against you. It’s this time last week it all definitively fell apart for the last time. All I remember thinking is that I was excited to hear her voice on the phone that night after the shitty week without her due to my own insecurities causing more fights. Thinking that she finally understood and listened to me after the millionth time regarding a promise of my recognition being put forward of our existence together to her parents. Didn’t happen. After over a year (officially & unofficially counting), it finally concluded to what my mind would tell me all along - that I wasn’t worth the effort. Though I mostly didn’t see things actually ending this way, because her and the act of lying never went together at all - I had no choice but to accept it. It’s her life after all. Instead, I should have actually listened more to her feelings and stuck with, and by her principles in support (I’ve always wanted to support everything she does, and I failed so fair enough), rather than act selfishly. What sucks though is that after all the time passing, they’ll still never know what I was to her. Because it was never important enough. I was never important enough. I suppose this is the reason that I’ve somewhat started to accept and can have my content moments with this ending, and not go as insane as I imagined I might (though it’s still early days, jinx). Nevertheless, it’s still my first Friday as a lone ranger without her, and I don’t like it one bit. I wish I could turn back this damn clock and rectify all my regretful mistakes, or learn quicker - but it all happened too late. Oh If I could be that guy in “About time” with that capability. Though let’s talk about another one of my favourite movies. I relate way too much to the mindset of the main character in this movie. The way in which he establishes his own fantasy girl (whom for the purpose of projecting literature comes to life), only to be disappointed by his own expectations that he has, rather than let her live her life, make her own choices & be her own person. He learns the common sensical, straightforward truth that he can’t actually control her and hold her back from being her, even though that was never his intention to begin with. He was ultimately blinded by his selfishness, couldn’t handle his insecurities, and thus forgot about the treasure he was blinded by, which in turn he lost. As you would have it, he realised the errors of his ways and the choices he made far too late. He has to let go. Except when it’s happening in a movie, their fates end up aligned once more and he oh so miraculously gets another chance. I wish. Probably doesn’t help thinking about the fun fact that they’re married in real life either.

Just had some nuggets at work! What a momentously ecstatic time in my monotonously linear life currently. Finally got my special of 20 for $10 - it’s suppose to be a bargain anyway. I remember the only other time I attempted to attain this spectacular deal was after we had played some tennis. I won obviously.. well this time anyway. She’s a pretty damn good match in more ways than one after all. It’s why I prefer to have her on my side of the court in both sports & life altogether. We make quite the team. Anyhow the nugget promotion had run out at the time we reached that drive through which was certainly devastating. I’ve made it this far though, so I’ll continue to live. Later that day, we went back to hers for a swim in the pool. Saying that so casually now seems a bit odd, considering that before her, the concept of swimming to me had become mostly a stranger since I was a kid. There was that one time at camp (not band camp, ha) during which I was still fairly new to this Country, in Intermediate school which I don’t like talking about in detail. Essentially it involves the body shaming of an 11 year old me when I was about to join the rest of our camp group for our activity of the day; sailing (she use to sail too - of course she did, the crazy multi-talented beautiful mofo). Since that moment, I learned to keep judging myself through out the years, and on top of my existing mental insecurities and emotional instability, I was unable to take off my shirt due to feeling way too shitty about my physical image. I could exercise and make it slightly better and whatever, but it didn’t alter that fear of public shaming. Until she came along and changed everything that is. She made me care less about these insignificant traits.. and slowly my insecurities started fading away, day by day. I felt more alive and free thanks to her, and am able to be more comfortable than ever with myself when I’m with her. Probably even way too comfortable, as there is a lack of such a limit between us when we’re together.. which is just another delightfully pleasant and fulfilling seam of happiness.

So it’s dad’s birthday. I’ve picked him up a present and am suppose to get a cake on the way back home after work. One of the three lives near by me, so I confer with him that a certain cheesecake shop is nearby us, to which he responds that I should just bake a cake (he would say that, being a former chef and all it’s.. well, a piece of cake for him). But no, not again. The one time I baked a cake was for her birthday - a banana cake covered with my own Nutella chocolate icing recipe. Spent probably ten times the actual required amount of time, and made an absolute mess of my sisters kitchen which I booked out, to make sure everything was perfect. Thankfully, It did actually turn out pretty well and I think she liked it, as she finally received the banana cake I deprived her of the year before through telling people she was allergic to the fruit. My other attempt at baking for her involved some failed cookies (slightly much butter) delivered to her at home, on top of her car during crazy thesis time. Had to also provide a proper block of chocolate with that to make up for the failed attempt. Oh man the amount of chocolate and candy I’ve probably supplied her with is pretty criminal. She would joke about how I’m just fattening her up, which I’d laugh along to but there’s probably some element of truth there. She’s just got a damn good metabolism to be fair. Also for those times where she’s trying to be healthier (which is most of the time) I’d have to resort to ensuring it was a minimum of 70% cocoa dark chocolate. I already miss being her supplier, hence why I had to include chocolate in my flower delivery on day #2 one last time. Though let’s face it, knowing her it’s probably already all gone. In all likelihood it’s the one thing even she can’t resist. Who knows, it’s presumably the reason I resemble chocolate that she even found me appealing to begin with. Jokes aside (not her addiction - that’s real), It just sucks not being able to refill her jar of kisses.

Friday night draws inwards. We’ve just celebrated dad’s birthday at home - my sister, bro in law, nieces and even their kind of cute new au pair whom I dropped near the airport a couple weeks ago came along (cute = short, red head German girl). I debated pretty hard with myself whether to even transfer that thought across, quite thoroughly if I may add, but I guess I can now? I don’t know. Feels strange and unfamiliar because I don’t really want to either, but I figure what does it really even matter. She wouldn’t have cared either way because she’s never even supposedly had a hint of the green eyed monster. Am I sincerely the only one to find that a bit bizarre? Although I confess, my own insecurities have led my mind to be easily manipulated by itself sometimes. However, in my unnecessary self defence against..myself, such does also stem from the initial issue where I’ve always felt hidden on a social scale during our relationship. As if she was always uncertain about me so could ultimately never make the complete leap with her own heart.. which in turn would make me identify further with those very inadequate concerns of being second best standing away on some foggy sidelines, a constant back up until someone more attractive, talented, smarter, and well, just better, would come along. Until the person whom she might actually be excited to introduce to her family could come along, so that they could be impressed and happy with her choice. Understandably, I don’t fit that criteria. Looking back at all our fights this fundamentally core issue for me had caused, I realise now - when I view myself in the mirror that I too, would be embarrassed if it were me. That’s the one lie I didn’t enjoy - “it’s not a big deal”. I’d rather just that she would have admitted it was, so that I could gain more understanding - I mean I don’t think I can be that bad otherwise…Can I? Probably, I guess. Note that this is an unfair representation of her though, don’t get me wrong at all. You have to consider all the facts (which is what I failed incredibly hard to do furthermore at the time, as my heavy emotional weaknesses took over). I seriously just needed to listen to her. Although I guess the counter argument is that I didn’t feel like she ended up ever listening to me either - which left us at a stand still, where we both continuously shot at each other until the mess grew large enough, and we eventually fell apart. Natural attrition, as my work place has been calling it. I was so foolish though, seeking approval from sources that shouldn’t even matter at all, and left me once again becoming fully aware far too late, that I lost the only one that really did matter - hers. I don’t care if I sound like a loser for not saying my own approval here - I’ve never really cared for anyone else’s approval enough previously.. just the one I fell for. She was actually much too sweet in the end when reflecting upon the circumstances, as I did constantly exhaust her with this ongoing insecurity that I created myself. She didn’t need to put up with me for so long, but I do feel a sense of honour and self-worth ironically stemming from the fact that she did. In a way, she kind of gave me recognition and I didn’t even register it until literally this moment - by sticking by my side. Until she couldn’t anymore. Because I wasn’t worth the effort. Which just feels counteractive to the definition of being in love with someone - and I could definitely tell she still was/is from our weekend (+sick day monday). There was a certain spark in our eyes of a possibly better future there, but she would safeguard her heart from taking that leap once again. Her damn smart brain got in the way. Once again, ironically one of the most attractive things about her was my downfall at attempting to fix what is supposedly permanently broken to her. The fact of the matter still remains that love is the most illogical and beautiful phenomenon that we have as human beings, and it genuinely can make us do absurd things and challenge every principle and ethic we may believe in and hold dear, because it’s damn love. It’s what I believe in. It’s the core of humanity and all that is really required - The Beatles were onto that one. Questioning it rather than embracing it is what causes us to slowly limp away into the darkness of our mind, and lose ourselves. But hey, that’s just one prime example’s biased opinion - as we’ve clearly established that my mind is my own worst enemy. I fucked up everything on my own - she didn’t need to assist me in that regard.

All I know now, when thinking about love as per my above discovered profound wisdom (just clarifying that it is in fact sarcasm, in case I haven’t already proven to be arrogant enough asshole at times - but whatever, I don’t need to prove anything), is simply that I just want her to be beside me right now. I miss her presence next to me on a Friday night. I just want to hold her and forget about the rest of this damn world for one more perfectly blissful moment of love, and I know from experience that it’d feel like everything will be alright. But, I can’t tonight. Also I’ve snapped her three times today and offered her a trip to Fiji (my crappy April fools joke, don’t ask - I’ll disappoint once again) after the positive vibe I received from last night, but nothing back. So that’s great too. I’m glad she’s moving on with her life - genuinely am happy in that consideration for her. Maybe I should widen the gap on the bridge between us too, to assist her from a distance (figuratively and literally). I hope she has a wonderful weekend as she deserves, and that the sun shines for her (and the stars at night too). Warning: Incoming dramatic conclusion to day 4 - so please do excuse me for now, as I need to get back to digging this damned endless pit for my heart.

_____

Day 4 - continued - yay!

Hold everything. She just snapped me a cute selfie of her finding an excuse (someone on TV did it so it's a legitimate reason, duh) to have a shot of our fireball. Key word, cute - though I suppose that's literally every snap of her. Alright - so a much better conclusion to day 4. It's absolutely mind-blowing, crazy and 300% illogical how the smallest gesture can turn everything around, isn't it? Must be love.

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