#I get enjoyment from nitpicking every single second of these movies

[skipppppy]

CARMEN SANDIEGO CHARACTERS + MOVIES

Boo I felt like making headcanons again bc I spend more time wondering what these assholes do in their free time than I do on my job

CARMEN

Didn’t have access to movies growing up so Player, Zack, and Ivy have been catching her up on the most popular ones

HORRIBLE to watch with. Doesn’t really understand “suspension of disbelief” as a concept and will ask stupid questions the whole time. Player almost ended their friendship because she nitpicked Lord of the Rings for being “unrealistic”

Enjoys low stakes 2000s girl chick flicks like mean girls and legally blonde. She has enough stress in her life man she just wants to relax

HATES heist movies because of how innacurate they are. Team Red has taken to watching them JUST to hear her pick them apart

PLAYER

Sci-fi/fantasy junkie. Anything and everything that has aliens/magic and shitty practical effects from the 80’s/90’s he is all over

Has never said a single kind thing about the Star Wars franchise in his life. They are his favourite movies of all time

ADORES Edgar Wright and has slowly been converting Team Red to his movies. Zack loved Baby Driver. Ivy loved Shaun of the Dead. Shadowsan loved Hot Fuzz. He considers Scott Pilgrim the pinnacle of Canadian cinema

Cannot STAND the amount of remakes happening in Hollywood recently

ZACK

Canon enjoyer of blockbuster action movies. Everyone dreads the nights when he gets to choose a film bc his taste is so generic

Does not know what the Snyder cut is. Thank god

His only redeeming quality is a love of early dreamworks. Will not stop quoting Madnagascar

Has seen every Marvel movie and thinks all of them are good. Player has BEGGED him to watch better movies but he won’t. He’s the type to rag on Scorsese for being “boring”

Has seen Kevin Feige’s extended filmography. Does not know who that man is

IVY

Horror fanatic

Banned from choosing movies for film night after convincing them to watch her “favourite lesbian romcom” with her. That lesbian romcom was Saw

Ellen Ripley was not only her personal hero but also her gay awakening. The Xenomorph queen was her second gay awakening

Also loves period dramas. Enjoys the tiddies and knows she would look SO good in those fancy waistcoats the men wear

Watches old slashers with Carmen and laugh whenever someone dies in a stupid way

SHADOWSAN

Faculty considered movies “low brow” entertainment so he hasn’t seen a movie made before the year 2000

Loves a good mob flick. Got into Scorsese specifically because Zack hated him. Goodfellas is his favourite

Everyone assumes he enjoys samurai movies but he actually HATES them. Hideo would ramble about historical inaccuracies the whole way through and he’s still bored just thinking about it

Used to love Yakuza films back in the day but they were soured for him after actually living as one

Loved Knives Out, found Daniel Craig VERY attractive, and has since fallen down the James Bond rabbit hole

CHASE

The most pretentious film hack you’ve ever met in your life. He is taking you to a back alley screening of some arthouse eastern european gay porn on a first date and it will be the most profound thing you’ve ever seen in your life

Detective noir movies and cheesy black and white romances are his favourites. He likes falling asleep to them

He and Player both appreciate animation as a form of cinema, but while Player is referring to like. the Mario movie, Chase is talking about some 3 minute Russian stopmotion surrealist piece from 1951. He attends Annecy every year and has been banned from the Oscars due to threats of violence

He likes Poirot tho. Transmasc king

JULIA

If she has a few hours to herself she’d rather watch a documentary than go to a movie theatre, but she loves historical dramas

Enjoys biopics but thinks it’s stupid to make them for people who are alive

Likes watching movies for the sake of trash talking them, so she is the only person who can tolerate sitting through one with Carmen

LOVES Wes Anderson though. Chase got her into his stuff and the symmetry scratches an itch in her brain. But don’t tell him that

Also enjoys period dramas for the tiddies

CHIEF

Shitty cop movie enjoyer. The kind of person who insists that Die Hard is her favourite christmas movie

LOVES heist movies because of how inaccurate they are. Will mentally nitpick whatever secret service is going after them and be like “ACME wouldn’t do that lol”

She’s semi aware that she’s the antoagonist in Carmen’s own heist narrative so she’s started having fun with it

Closet lover of b-tier comedy movies. Like the ones with Adam Sandler and Kevin Hart on the cover

Does not enjoy watching movies socially. That is quality time for her and her cat. She does not have to shush Commander

[epickiya722]

Every uber popular shonen series goes through this thing where they become basically inescapable for a long time, then, when the dust settles a little, people start hating and nitpicking it, until anyone who voices their enjoyment is made fun of, then an even longer while later, it becomes acceptable to like it again.

I noticed JJK is going through it bc there's this suddenly aggressive way of thinking of Yuji, and it always starts by hating the protag in some way.

And you know what? I agree.

It's a pet peeve of mine to see people constantly nitpick and nitpick and not say a single thing that they actually enjoy about the media they're engaging in.

It becomes even more irritating to me when people will throw out anything as a complaint when it doesn't make sense.

I won't say it's criticism because a lot of what people criticize comes off more as just being mean-spirited. They'll say "oh, this protagonist has a good heart and I don't like it". Like... if they're being portrayed as a hero who wants to do good then hello, they're going to have a good heart???

Maybe because a lot of protagonists are my favorite characters, but I really hate it when someone will hate on a protagonist because of whatever their reasons are and continuously doi it over and over and over again. It's like "damn, give the protagonist a chance to grow". If you can't, just drop the series.

And honestly, if you drop a series after one or two seasons, I don't think you should jump on someone's post to bash a character like "they didn't get character development". How would you know if you quit the anime? Shush. Just shush.

Like, with Yuji, someone in a video called him useless. Mind you, he said this on a video during the SHIBUYA INCIDENT. By then, we know what Yuji is capable of.

Useless? Yuji Itadori? The one who actually swallowed a cursed finger to save a kid he barely knew and his friends? Yuji Itadori who jumped Mahito with Nanami and not even a second later, saved Nanami from Mahito's domain? The same Yuji who tag teamed with Todo on Hanami and managed to learn Black Flash in moments and setting a record in that short time?

You're calling the Yuji Itadori who picked up Nobara to get her away from Eso and Kechizu and also worked 50/50 on taking them down?

Same Yuji who helped take down a veil? Same Yuji who fought Choso to slow him down so others could go and save Gojo? The same Yuji who boxed up Mahito?

I mean Yuji is even useful to Sukuna because without him, Sukuna would have still been just some lingering spirit until someone else came along and that could have taken YEARS.

So that's the Yuji being called "useless"?

Recently, someone told me that someone else was blaming Yuji for what happened to Nobara.

Look, Nobara is my girl, I adore her, she is everything to me. But Yuji was not the one to tell her to follow Mahito. (I get why she did though.) And I know she was in shock probably from seeing two Mahito's, but I would have moved before he could have touched my face.

I just... I just can't. I honestly can't find myself to interact with anyone who hates on Yuji. He doesn't have to be your favorite character, leaves more room for me and other Yuji fans.

But if you're really out here making stupid takes about him and hating on him, I cannot with you.

It's my biggest pet peeve with BNHA fans. I like other characters, I do, but I really despise those who hate on Midoriya. You can be a Miruko fan and say post something stupid about Midoriya and I will block you. And y'all know I love Miruko.

"He's a crybaby, he's too good, he's not badass."

Oh, but y'all were so quick to switch up when he was going through fucking depression even though there was three movies and five seasons of him doing nothing but great things, big and small.

I don't know if it's the lack of not opening eyes and really watching and reading the anime and manga. I don't know if it's because some people are just miserable and need to bother others because they don't like others having fun. I don't know what it is, but it's annoying.

Right now, I'm watching Bucchigiri?!

And Arajin, he's annoying to me, he is, I won't lie. But I'm giving him a chance for character development because hey, you never know. Same for Mahoro. I don't like her too much, but I'm giving her a chance and honestly, Arajin is just not taking the hints that she is not feeling him at all. The anime only has like 4 episodes right now, so it's nearly not done yet and I'm liking it, so I'm sticking around.

I rambled, sorry about that, but I just... I just can't sometimes...

[destinyc1020]

I think we can find a middle ground between bashing every single thing you're fav is doing and prohibiting yourself from having discussions about the goods AND the bads of your fav career. I think you can do both. And can still keep your stan card. It's not exclusive.

I can say I hated Cherry and Uncharted, and still want better for him because I genuinely think he is talented and love to see him on my screen. I follow him because of his personality and I think he is a great actor with potential. I don't think we should turn this into a "good fan/bad fan" debate just because you criticize something (movies) that are meant to be criticized. If we didn't had opinions, what would be the point ? It doesn't have to be always negative, and I agree that fans acting like he has the worst career in the world rn is over dramatic. But wondering why we have 0 casting announcement ? Looking back at his filmography and saying you dont like most of it ? I don't think it's that far of a reach.

Whoa wait a second Anon.... You "hated" "Uncharted"? Whaaaa? 🥴 TOM in a wet t-shirt couldn't even save the movie for you? 😂

This is the first time I've heard someone say they actually HATED the movie. But hey, I guess art is subjective. 🤷🏾‍♀️

To me it was just an enjoyable popcorn 🍿 flick with some great eye-candy 😍 Not to be taken too seriously. I enjoyed it! Reminded me of a cross btwn Indiana Jones and Lara Croft. 👍🏾

Anyway....

I don't usually think there's anything wrong with having a healthy discussion about your fave and their work. As you all know, I love discourse lol. 😂

Do you know how many films I haven't really cared for, or thought were dumb that some of my acting faves have been in lol? 😂 I either just watch simply to enjoy them in it, or just make jokes about how crappy the movie was, but I still love the actor and appreciate their projects that I DO enjoy. 🤷🏾‍♀️

The problem I mainly see with SOME of Tom's fans however is that it seems like this "constructive criticism" gets a bit out of hand, fans go a little too far, and it almost comes across as being a bit mean to me. 😔🤷🏾‍♀️

I feel like SOME fans take things a bit too seriously, and don't know how to just ENJOY an actor, enjoy the journey they're on at this moment in time, and simply just relax, be patient, and appreciate them for them.....instead of nitpicking over every single little thing. 🥴

Do you know how LONG it's taken some in the industry to get their "big break"? 👀 Or to FINALLY be recognized for their acting talent? Sometimes it takes some ppl a long time! Some fans have been waiting YEARS.

Say what you will about Marvel films, but Marvel DEFINITELY helped put Tom Holland on ppl's radar. It probably would have taken Tom a LOT longer to even get in people's view had it not been for Marvel. And he certainly wouldn't have had so much close access to such incredible acting talent in the industry who constantly pat him on the back of it weren't for Marvel. So Marvel has done Tom good imo.

I almost feel like the complaints some fans have about his career aren't even really about Tom tbh.... I feel like it's more so about competition or smthg, and I just don't feel like it's even necessary.

Tom is a GOOD actor. He will always have roles waiting for him because he's actually talented. I honestly don't know why some fans even worry? Jmho 🤷🏾‍♀️

I could see if he were a BAD actor.... but he's not! 🥴

Long story short, there's nothing wrong with being honest about how you feel about your fave's work. You can still hate a project but love the person. 🤷🏾‍♀️ But sometimes it just feels like some just complain JUST to complain. That's my only gripe.

[theresnosafeharbor4myships]

TITLE: Sleepy Holloween

A/N: This Ichabbie Halloween fic is pure fluff and cuteness. No plot to be found here, just flirts and enjoyment.

“I’m sorry, Emily. I had to wait 300 years for a virgin to light a candle.”

An orchestra played an epic few bars of music, a drumroll sounded, and Abbie turned the TV off as the credits started to roll.

“Well, Crane, what’d you think?”

He turned to Jenny, who was cuddled up with Joe on the opposite end of the couch. “It was…palatable.”

Jenny gave him her blank stare of disbelief, and Joe smiled knowingly, but it was Abbie, who’d stayed tucked into his side for the duration of the movie, who prompted, “Come on, tell us what you really think.”

He glanced down at her, noting her sincere, if amused, look. “Is this, in all honesty, a children’s film?” he asked, genuinely perturbed.

“Well…not small children,” Joe supplied.

“And what is considered ‘small,’ Master Joe? I dare to presume there are parents who’d rather not expose young minds to witchcraft and the occult. It’s difficult enough for the four of us to manage it—but to appropriate it for entertainment on our youth…”

“You mean to tell me children in your day didn’t watch real life horrors worse than a little Halloween fantasy?” Jenny countered, forceful but kind. “That they weren’t exposed to hangings and gunfights and war? Not to mention the treatment of slaves.”

Crane looked duly reprimanded. "I suppose I can see where…times have altered enough that All Hallow’s Eve fantasy films are less traumatic than real life has been known to be.”

“And that’s your only comment on the film?” Abbie asked.

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Certainly not. The inaccuracies in this movie are quite numerous.”

“Here we go,” Joe murmured good-naturedly, eliciting knowing smirks from the Mills sisters and a slightly offended look from Crane.

“To begin with, most cabins in the 17th century would be much smaller than the one Binx and Emily shared, and they likely would have slept in the same room as their parents, perhaps even in the same bed, depending on their economic status.”

“Oh! We’re starting at the beginning,” Jenny teased, extracting herself from Joe and stretching.

Crane tilted his head at her in disdain but continued as Joe and Jenny rose to take their leave. “By dawn, the entire town would have been roused and already about their day. The witch Sarah would not have had the opportunity to lure young Emily to her demise at daybreak.”

“Speaking of a break, we need to head out,” Joe explained, waving at them as they headed for the door.

“Good luck, Abbie,” Jenny threw over her shoulder, smirking as they exited the house.

Abbie smiled and waved, content to stay securely tucked into Ichabod’s side for a few more minutes, even if she had to listen to another historical inaccuracy rant in order to do so.

“You get three,” she stated.

He peered down at her questioningly. “I don’t understand.”

“Tell me three issues you had with the movie. Only,” she held up her hand against his coming dispute, “three.”

“Very well. One: If the witches had spent 300 years in eternal damnation, should they not have recognized that ridiculous man dressed as the devil wasn’t him? We’re supposed to believe they think Lucifer takes on human form, has also left the depths of Hades—the place they’ve just escaped from—and lives in a modern home with a wife and a dog?”

“Everyone’s gotta live somewhere,” Abbie teased, earning her a classic Ichabod glare.

“Two: When the sisters are chasing those poor children, Witch Winnifred mocks young Max’s words, ‘it’s just a bunch of hocus pocus.’” His professor’s finger came up, and Abbie did her best to refrain from smiling at him. “Regardless of the fact that ‘hocus pocus’ is a sham-Latin phrase that jugglers employed in the 17th century—not to mention a common stage name both they and magicians used—how would she have known he said such phrase since he hadn’t yet lit the black flame candle, and therefore she wasn’t in this realm?”

Abbie nodded, considering his point, but refrained from answering, instead holding up three fingers to remind him he was about to round home.

“And three: Since the sisters only returned for one All Hallow’s Eve and they spent it chasing those children around all of Salem, how in Heaven’s name did Witch Winnifred know what a driver’s permit is? It took me months to get mine, and that only after you spent every waking hour explaining the 21st century and all of its advancements and gadgets to me and teaching me how to master the iron horse.”

“Fair enough,” she conceded, mildly entertained by his nitpicking, though she couldn’t help adding, “It is a fantasy film, though.”

Ichabod looked pleased she agreed with him and nodded. “I do admit, it was a bit of fantastical fun though,” he allowed, his voice calmer now that he’d aired some of his grievances. “Quite comforting to know others fight the tyranny of evil, even if it is merely make-believe. Will we watch this every year?”

“It’s a requirement in this house. And since you live here too now…”

“Indeed I do.” He lifted an eyebrow, a flirty smile teasing his lips as he kissed her.

“Come on.” Abbie patted his thigh as she pulled away from him. “It’s time to get ready. The kids’ll be here soon.”

*****

“Abbie…are you coming down?” Ichabod called up the staircase.

“On my way. You dressed?”

She heard him mumble something about ‘infernal style,’ but then his voice carried up to her. “Yes, and most anxious to see your costume.”

Abbie didn’t know what to prepare for, either in terms of what costume he’d chosen or what he’d think of hers. She couldn’t help hoping he’d appreciate her outfit choice even more than he had her Beyonce get-up from last year—which he’d enjoyed just fine. She recalled how his appreciative gaze roamed from her full head of faux curls, across her face where she’d applied a classic but simple make-up style, lingered a few seconds too long on her lips before dropping down to her neck where her ‘Queen’ necklace caused him to smirk approvingly at the statement before sliding down to her unusually low-cut shirt, which provided a rare and revealing view of her cleavage. His eyes lingered again, then traveled down the length of her body to stare at her shorts with the bling on the pockets and her bare legs. After a few moments, he suddenly seemed to remember himself, and his eyes snapped up to her face where her knowing smile made him a bit embarrassed to have gawked at her so.

This outfit didn’t reveal her attributes in the same way, but she’d bet money it’d please him all the same.

She smoothed down the sides of her costume, then started down the stairs. Ichabod came into sight, standing tall, proud, regal, and ramrod straight, and she nearly tripped over her own feet. His hair had disappeared beneath a white sailor’s cap with a black bill and gold trim. The white jacket with epaulets on the shoulders and gold buttons running down the middle made his blue eyes shine even brighter than usual as he heatedly watched her descend the stairs. A single, thin, gold ribbon encircled the jacket’s wrists and striped down the sides of the white pants he wore, the entire uniform making him appear nobler and even taller than his 6 foot-plus frame.

She’d never expected to see him in a contemporary costume, having long since given up trying to get him to wear anything modern, and she had no clue what had possessed him to go military for Halloween. But he certainly didn’t disappoint, and she suddenly wished she had one of those old handheld folding fans ladies used to carry around to cool herself off with.  

Ichabod watched Abbie float down the stairs, mesmerized by her costume. She’d pinned all of her hair up, leaving a single, thick curl falling over her shoulder. Her dress, a deep green that complimented her beautifully flushed brown skin, had long sleeves that ended with a frill of off-white lace at her forearms. The court neckline, cut down nearly to her armpits, highlighted the length of her neck, her collarbones, the glow of her skin, and her bust. The dress’s bodice, an inset corset also in off-white, contrasted beautifully against the dark green of the rest of the dress and emphasized her petite frame and small waist. From her hips, the dress flared out and down to the floor, her tiny feet hidden beneath its layers.

She looked stunning, as though she’d stepped out of the Revolutionary War era with him. He knew his gaze lingered in awe, but he couldn’t stop himself. He’d admit he loved seeing Abbie wear her modern-day clothes—blue jeans, form-fitting shirts, a silk robe, a tank top and short shorts to bed—though Heaven knew they all left little to the imagination, which he was both forever grateful for and infernally distracted by. But seeing her like this, resplendent in Colonial couture, left him speechless and mesmerized as she came to stand in front of him.

Abbie recovered first. “Hello there, sailor,” she cooed, a full smile gracing her face.

Ichabod mentally shook himself out of his stupor and swallowed hard. “Ah-ah, it’s Captain,” he corrected, pointing to one of the stripes gracing the left side of his chest.

“Oh,” she exclaimed, impressed. “O Captain, my Captain.”

“And no other’s,” he assured her, his voice dropping low. “Abbie….you look…” While his words trailed off, his hand started at her wrist and slid up her arm, over her shoulder, across her bare collarbone.

“Colonial?” she supplied, delighted her endeavor to please and surprise him had elicited this effect.

“Well, yes, but I was going to say 'magnificent,’” he explained as he tipped her chin up and kissed her, his other hand finding her waist.

He felt her smile against his lips, and he pulled away, then changed his mind and gave her another peck before taking her hands in his and a step back to drink in the sight of her once more.

“You seem very pleased, love.”

“I am,” she confirmed, smiling, watching his eyes roam over her again. “I wanted to surprise you with a little something from your…previous life.”

“Mission well accomplished,” he affirmed, tugging her towards him with their still-clasped hands. He leaned in close to kiss her neck. “Though I can’t wait to take this off of you,” he whispered against her skin.

“Ah,” she gasped, simultaneously easing away from him and pushing him away, though her hands remained on his chest. “Don’t start; it’s much too early for that. Besides…” Her eyes roamed heatedly over him again. “I need some time to enjoy you fully embracing the military style of today.”

“Mm,” he hummed, taking a step back from her and holding his arms out wide for her perusal. “So this suits you?”

“It suits you,” she returned cheekily. “It pleases me.”

He arched one brow. “How much, we shall find out later.”

“Indeed,” she agreed in a teasing tone, mocking his go-to affirmative.

One side of his mouth turned up, amused. “Shall we get on with the festivities, Mistress Abbie?” he asked, changing the subject before things got too out of hand. Heaven knew he’d need to try to keep things neutral in order to make it through the rest of the evening without ravishing her.

“Mistress? You know…that designation doesn’t mean the same thing now as it did before,” she informed him as she headed towards the kitchen.

“No? What, pray tell, does it mean now?”

She reached into the cabinets for the bags of candy she’d bought, handing them to him. “It usually refers to a woman in a relationship with a married man.”

“Has this generation found no end to the butchering of the English language? In my day, a mistress was the head of her home, holding a position of control and authority; it was a title of respect. It boggles the mind how a term of female empowerment has been subverted such that it now refers to something…tawdry.”

“Agreed; your definition is much better,” Abbie stated, pulling the large orange bowl with black bats all over it from another cabinet, setting it on the island between them. “You can call me Mistress, if you feel the need, with the understanding that you’re referencing the original meaning. How’s that sound?”

“But you are my Mistress,” he said matter of factly.

Abbie splayed her arms wide, gripping the countertop, and stared at him questioningly, waiting for him to explain himself.

“You’re the head of the household. And respected, of course. But you’re also a woman in a relationship with me, a married man.”

“But you’re married to me. That’s not…tawdry,” she mocked his phrasing again.

With a glint in his eye, one side of his mouth quirked up. “Not yet…but the night’s still young, my mistress Abbie.”

She shook her head, amused and not a little warmed by his flirtations, the smooth way he breathed her name sending heat dancing up her spine. “You’re incorrigible. And if you don’t stop, this will be the last time you see me wearing this costume.”

“That is the idea.”

Needing levity, she pointed to the bags of candy in front of him. “Will you open those and pour them in this bowl while I go turn on the porch light? Light on means free candy. Light off, kids skip the house.”

Ichabod tipped his sailor’s hat at her. “Your wish is my command, Mistress.”

“Mmhmm.” Though her heart thrummed wildly, she threw him a disbelieving look as she headed to the entryway, her dress swooshing around her as she moved.

She chosen her costume to surprise her dashing husband, but truthfully she enjoyed the dress herself. It made her feel feminine and stately. Not that she’d want to wear the layers and corset-style bodice every day—thank God she’d been born in the 20th century—but it was a nice change. Her childhood and her profession hadn’t allowed for many of life’s pleasures so she’d always made a point to have fun on Halloween as an adult. Choosing a costume each year—the range varying from Wonder Woman and a mermaid to a Greek goddess and Beyonce—gave her the opportunity to pretend she was someone else, imagine all the fantastical lives she could live if given the chance. It’d become one of her favorite holidays, and she hoped Ichabod would come to love it and all the ways to celebrate it too.

He’d certainly taken to it more this year than last. He’d huffed and chuffed as they’d searched the Spirit Halloween store the previous year, becoming more horrified by the evil nature of most costumes and more offended by the lack of creativity of women’s outfits with each passing aisle. After perusing the entire store, he’d resolutely decided on a colonial figure, which really hadn’t required a costume at all, and wouldn’t budge. This year he’d suggested they choose costumes separately. She’d thought he’d just rather avoid the pretense of shopping for an acceptable get-up when he knew one couldn’t be found to appease his colonial sensibilities, but he’d deliberately surprised her, just as she’d done for him.

“Why are these called 'fun size’?” he called out to her.

She saw him warily eyeing the miniature Snickers bar he held and smiled, making her way back to the kitchen. “Because they’re smaller than average.”

“Hmm,” he rumbled with uncertainty, tossing the candy back into the bowl before he realized he had an audience. His eyes landed on her again, taking in the exquisite dress and the beloved woman wearing it, and his expression changed. “I’m most certainly of the opinion that smaller than average is 'fun size,'” he teased, dropping a kiss onto her temple as he grabbed the candy-filled bowl and made his way into the living room.

Another 15 minutes passed before the doorbell rang with the first trick-or-treaters seeking candy, and the two jawed on about their day: the pumpkin carving fun they’d had with Joe and Jenny before they’d watched Hocus Pocus, how they’d each selected their costumes with one another in mind, how they’d spend the upcoming holiday season, and what they’d do with any candy left over if they didn’t give it all away tonight.

Sitting closer to the front door, Abbie got up to answer it, and Ichabod sprang up to accompany her. She unlocked the deadbolt and reached for the doorknob when she felt his hand upon her arm, restraining her.

“Hold on a moment, Fun Size,” Ichabod’s voice rumbled from behind her as he curled himself around her and slid his hand down her arm to cover hers. “A captain must ensure his mistress is safe at all times.”

She smiled at his flirtation as he peered through the window at the top of the door, a full head above her own height. “Such chivalry,” she preened.

“Tis my duty,” he corrected.

“And your pleasure.”

“You’ve no idea,” he informed her, leaning down to kiss her bare neck. But before he could, Abbie ducked beneath his arm and out of his embrace.

“Not as of yet,” she taunted, throwing him a brazen smile and opening the door with one hand, grabbing the candy bowl off the entryway table with the other.

A small princess, Thor, and a clown stood on the porch, candy baskets held aloft as they all chimed ‘Trick or Treat!’ together.

Abbie grinned at the excitement on their faces and graciously dropped candy into each of their bags, waving as they skipped away to the next house.

“My, I do see the joy of celebrating All Hallow’s Eve in this fashion.”

His voice came from behind her, and she turned a bit to see him watching the children roam around on their street in a myriad of costumes: dragons, superheroes, monsters, pumpkins, fairies, and Disney characters.

“No wonder children enjoy it so immensely.”

“And you, Captain Crane?” she wondered, happy seeing the delight on his handsome face. “Are you enjoying it?”

He peered down at her and smiled contentedly. “Yes,” he affirmed, wrapping his arms around her waist. She leaned back into him as they stood in the doorway waiting for their next visitors, and he dropped a kiss on the crown of her head, causing them both to smile. “Yes, I most certainly am.”

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about every episode of The Owl House Season 1 (Part 2/2)

Part two, sukers! Let’s do this. Click here to read part one.

“Senses and Insensitivity”: The B-plot in this episode is outstanding. It shows the audience more about Eda and Lilith's love for each other as sisters, which actually gets a lot more heartbreaking, given what happens in "Agony of a Witch." I loved every minute of it...which is why it makes it weird that it's just the B-plot. Because while the main story is ok, I could do without it. It makes King look like a jerk, and in no way does it feel like he means it when he apologizes. Plus, the fact that Luz and King get saved by Dana's self-insert and don't even do anything to stop Piniet just doesn't sit right with me. Although, I do find the jokes about fandom mentality to be pretty funny. If it wasn't for Eda's storyline with Lilith, "Senses and Insensitivity" might just be a C+ of an episode. As is, I'll be kind enough to give it a B-.

“Adventures in the Elements'': And here it is. The episode that everyone saw months beforehand because some jackhole decided to leak it to the internet. And what an episode it is. We get some great mentor/motherly moments from Eda. Some perfect course correction from Ed and Em going from unlikable antagonists to decent supporting characters. Having Luz learn a second spell, and having the growth between her and Amity's relationship. And a semi-enjoyable B-plot with King and an army of stuffed animals (which is just as funny as it sounds). My problem? Pacing. While King's subplot about an army of stuffed animals is fun, I feel like more time should have been dedicated to Luz getting trained by Eda. That way, it’ll feel natural to see as Luz reaches her breaking point due to going nowhere with Eda's training, which would feel justified rather than making Luz come across as kind of whiney in the episode (at least to me, she does). Another issue I have is with how Luz and Amity's relationship is presented in this episode. It genuinely feels like we skipped an episode because Amity went from "thinking about it" to getting distracted by waving at her bestie. Now keep in mind, I'm the first one to say "who cares" when people bring up the poor pacing in Luz and Amity's relationship due to Disney having little to nothing in terms of LGBTQ+ representation in children's animation. But the thing is, their relationship feels more properly paced in future episodes, but it's not the case here. So it's gonna have to be another B- in that regard.

(And seriously, don't ever leak episodes from a show, even if it's your favorite. Because not only does it ruin the experience for fans who want to support it the right way, but it also hurts the show itself. Because if people stop watching episodes, guess what? They'll stop making them. And nobody wants that.)

“The First Day”: Is it odd that I like an episode that's clearly not great? Because there's so much about "The First Day" that I enjoy. I like the entirety of the detention track and the fact that they're not typical troublemakers. I like the message about how it's unfair to force children to learn something they're not interested in because it's for a "better education." And I would frickin' take a bullet for Puddles. Unfortunately, this episode has some of the worst pacing in the series. Let's look at what this episode has to accomplish: It has to force Luz into a track and explain why it's a poor fit for her. It has to have Luz be interested in another track and get in trouble due to being too curious. It has to establish a connection between Luz and the detention track so they can have a heartbreaking third-act breakup. It has to set up, then introduce, a monster that will try to destroy Hexide. And finally, defeating the creature has to tie into why it's a good idea for students to mix tracks. That is a lot to do in under twenty-two minutes, and it makes the episode feels like it’s on fast foward at times. I'd say the solution would be to cut King's substitute teacher subplot (which only has value with one good joke), but that would only give "The First Day" a couple of extra seconds. So, really, the only way to "fix" the episode is to probably give it a few minutes by making it a forty-five-minute special. I'm sure fans wouldn't mind that. They love Luz and her journey enough that I'm sure they would be more than ok to see a more lengthy experience through the halls of Hexide. But that's not what we got, so it's gonna have to be a D+ episode. I don't hate it, but I don't blame others who do.

“Really Small Problems”: "Ugh, it's the cliche--" WE'VE! BEEN! OVER THIS! Does this episode have a cliche storyline? Yes. Is this pretty much the first filler episode of the series? Of course. But is it still entertaining? Without a doubt. There are great jokes, adorable moments with Luz and King's friendship, and little moments that I love. Like the fact that it was an accident that King shrunk Willow and Gus, and how Luz treated the situation calmly and rationally instead of blowing her stack. "Really Small Problems" may not be high up on my favorites list, but it's at least a fun B episode that was well worth a single viewing.

“Understanding Willow”: You wanna know what impresses me the most about The Owl House? The fact that Dana and her writers knew what the fans exactly want before they even started asking for it. The fans wanted to know what happened between Willow and Amity, and so the staff showed us. Fans wanted to see what Mr. and Mrs. Blight are really like, and the staff showed us. Fans wanted a Luz and Amity centric adventure, and the staff gave it to us. And because they've been working on the first season long before fan input started coming out, that means that we were going to get what we want before even having to ask. Most shows would save content in "Understanding Willow" for a second and even third season, so it amazes me that the writers waste no time in giving us the good stuff. Add that with a great "I'm sorry" speech from Amity, cute moments between her and Luz, Luz being an understanding friend, and Eda's bell dance, and you've got yourself an A+ of an episode.

As I said, I've already reviewed the last four episodes. But if you're interested in what I have to say, here are the condensed versions of my thoughts. Click the episode titles if you want to see the full review: 

“Enchanted Grom Fright”: Speaking of giving the fans what they want, the fans have been obsessed over Lumity damn near since the beginning, myself included. So now you're gonna give us a prom episode filled with flirting in the hallway, a dope dance sequence, and the reveal that Amity has a crush on Luz? All while showing more of Luz's relationship with her mother and the fear Luz has of telling Camila the truth?! Then consider this an A+ episode that might just be a crucial moment in Disney's history!

“Wing it Like Witches”: This is a fantastic episode. And no, it's not because of Amity's gay panic attacks towards Luz...ok, it's partially because of that. But it's also because this episode shows how far characters come developmental wise. Willow became more confident, and Amity is actually part of the group now. It all comes together when the most developed characters team up against one who'll most likely get little development. It's a solid A of an episode that always leaves me smiling when I watch it.

“Agony of a Witch”: Yup. The single image of Luz crying is still enough to tear me up inside. And man, what an episode. The tension, the drama, the REVEAL! Lilith admitting she cursed Eda still shocks me because it could not have been farther from what I expected. Especially given the sisterly bond that we've seen in past episodes. So yeah, this is another A+ for sure.

“Young Blood, Old Souls”: I've heard some people say that the season finale is underwhelming, and I think I know why? You see, this has what I like to call Infinity War to Endgame syndrome. Part one does a great job of setting up the tension and stakes, that part two seems to pale in comparison in an attempt to relieve some of that tension. Because since part one ended, people have been hyping themselves up for part two to be such an epic conclusion that it couldn't have completely lived up to the ridiculously high standards. It's the same reason why I never felt disappointed with either Avengers: Endgame or "Young Blood, Old Souls." I had high expectations, sure, but I also reminded myself that there is a chance that either might be unenjoyable. And guess what? I consider Avengers: Endgame an A+ movie and "Young Blood, Old Souls" an A+ episode. Is either story perfect? No, but here's the thing. I could list all the nitpicks I have, or I could keep my big mouth shut and just enjoy it for the parts that are perfect.

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And that's it! That's what I think about every single episode of The Owl House so far. As for my thoughts on the show itself, I think it's incredible. It has a nice balance of comedy and drama with specific episodes, has an intriguing story, and includes some of the best representation that Disney has had in decades. But that doesn't mean the show is perfect. Pacing can be a bit off at times, some B-plots are just unnecessary to pad out the time, and not every joke can land. But to be fair, this is season one. Dana Terrace and her crew have more than enough time to polish out the rough parts for what is hoped to be a better season two. And I still can’t to see what they have in store for us.

[impurelight]

Terminator Dark Fate - James Cameron's Terminator 3 - Worse Than The Original Terminator 3

I enjoyed all the Terminator movies. 1, 2, 3, Salvation, Gen I Sys, I liked them all. I liked all the Terminator movies. Until now. Terminator Dark Fate, although enjoyable, just doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like a Terminator movie. It feels like one of those pop corn flicks that are only really good if you manage to turn your brain off.

This is because Terminator Dark Fate tries to be all things to all people. But in doing so it spreads itself too thin and becomes an unmemorable, incomprehensible mess.

Let me start with the first warning sign. Everything in this movie is over the top. I first saw this in the trailer. Like that scene where you have a plane get into a fender bender with another plane of equal size. Yeah, I don't know. Pilots are always worrying about not getting trapped in turbulence caused by other planes. I don't know if this scene would work in real life. And the scene just gets more ridiculous from there the terminator somehow moves from the cockpit of one plane into the other plane while it's flying. There's like a ton of wind up there, I don't think even a terminator could pull that off. And this is just one of the absurd moments in this movie.

Actually just before that scene there is this takeoff scene where they fight a terminator while taking off. And like, the plane barely even moves. It has to be trying to top the Fast and Furious takeoff scene for the most ridiculous takeoff scene in a movie.

Plus there's a few scenes that are so Deus Exy plus some stuff that's barely explained. Basically everything with the EMP at the end.

And then there's the actual terminator they're fighting. He, oh- it, is just so OP. It's like in the first fight scene it gets killed like 10 times it's ridiculous. The reason this is a problem is there's just no suspense. In the other Terminator movies you get: Boom Terminator is destroyed, but it's coming back, where is it coming back from? And they build up some suspense. I particularly remember the scene in Gen I Sys where the terminator is pretending to be a mirror. It's sort of like action rolled up with horror in the best possible way.

Here? No suspense. Because 2 seconds after the terminator goes down it gets back up. And the entire movie turns into this boring slog. It's like the writers were like, "Oh, there's a boring section here, what do we do? Have the hero run away again. High five!" In T2 they're not running the whole time. In T3 they're not running the whole time. In Gen I Sys they're not running the whole time. But here they're running away the whole time. It is painfully predictable in the same way Infinity War was painfully predictable.

Plus I don't even care about the characters. And in the final scene I distinctly felt the, "They're playing sad music but I'm not sad" effect. In the other modern day terminator movies we get: I'm here to protect you and here's why and this is what we're fighting. Here we sort of get it but it's done too late and it feels disjointed. Normally I'd like this in a movie or a video game because it keeps you interested but not here. Terminator movies are all about: here are the stakes and here is what we do now. And as a result I found myself not getting attached to the characters like at all. Also it's never exactly mentioned how John Connor became the leader of the resistance and I think that worked well. Here we actually do learn and it's like, "Seriously? This backstory just doesn't make sense."

Then the things the terminator does here are pretty ridiculous too. It's powers aren't explained. Apparently it has some sort of skeleton that can be completely separate from it or something. Anyways there is one scene with it hacking into some servers to check all the cameras or something. But do we get this again? No. The terminator always knows where the protagonists are magically.

Now onto my second complaint. I remember hearing James Cameron saying Dark Fate is T2 updated for modern times. And yeah, it's definitely updated. Let's see here. We have drones, check, gotta have drones. Some stuff about the Mexican/US border. Yep, no wall yet. Looks like that's behind schedule. And then we have to get someone mention something about how there's cameras everywhere. Done. Then we add a pinch of feminism and have all the protagonists except for one be female. And then finally modernize Skynet into something more modern sounding. How about that thing the haxors are saying? Legion? Yeah, that.

It is just so eye rolling in the worst way. It's like James Cameron had a check list. Drones, US/Mexico border, cameras? Check check check. Like just one of these things in isolation isn't bad, well maybe the Legion one it just reeks of old people trying to sound cool, but taken all together it just comes off as being cringy.

And finally my third complaint: the acting and the writing. In the other modern day Terminator movies you have a protector, a protectee, and a Terminator coming to kill you. Except in Gen I Sys and 3 where you have 2 protectees. In this movie you have a protector, a protectee, a terminator trying to kill you, a terminator trying to help you, and Sarah Connor. And it just feels like it doesn't make sense.

Especially the beginning where the writing is just bad. It has the whole Quantum Break where I was like, "You could just tell me everything right now but you're just not."

The acting is also pretty bad for the friendly Terminator. I couldn't watch the Terminator TV show because the terminators there didn't act like robots, they acted like people. Same thing happens here. Now the friendly terminator doesn't get much screen time and the hostile terminator is trying to blend in so it's not too bad but it could be better.

Also this might be a nitpick but the timeline doesn't make sense. Look, so Sarah changed the future. But you shouldn't see that change in your own timeline. These change the past to change the future things like killing your parents kills you always bothered me because at what point in time did she 'change the future'? Like in the James Cameron timeline. Was it when she destroyed Cyberdyne? When she got the idea? When the terminator went back in time. The only two versions of time travel that are internally consistent is if every time you go back in time you create another universe and going back in time won't change anything because it already happened. This third version of time travel doesn't make sense at all.

So all in all a pretty mediocre Terminator movie. I say 'James Cameron's Terminator 3' but he probably didn't have much input on the film. James Cameron is a producer which means anything from having input on every single scene to just writing cheques. And I suspect Cameron's role was closer to the latter.

People often complain that Terminator Gen I Sys went back in time to murder the whole timeline. I never thought of it like that because that stuff still happened, it just happened and got undone. Terminator Dark Fate, on the other hand, definitely went back in time to murder the whole time line. T3 and Salvation and Gen I Sys. All never happened. And it would be acceptable if the movie was actually good. But it's not.

And to add insult to injury there was a Fast and Furious Movie that just came out. And I think that movie actually made more sense than Dark Fate.

[bonesingerofyme-loc]

in which what the fuck happened

so i’ve finally gotten around to watching season 4 of the expanse, everyone’s favorite science fiction tv show. i shall not call it a space opera because i actually know what a space opera is.

i’ve just finished episode 8 and what precisely the fuck happened though

this season is a mess

in no particular order, we have

* the Ilus plot, in which it appears the Bezos Bux weren’t enough to afford a larger cast, so there’s three belters with speaking roles and a really, really bad rebellious teenager plot that makes me feel like i’m watching a fucking scalzi novel (which is not praise). The Ilus plot in which murtry swings between being a Bad Man with Justifiable Reasons to being a mustache twirling villain, where Holden doesn’t just hold the idiot stone, he fucking swallows it along with Elvi and also the TV show does that TV show thing where they make really, really stupid design choices that leave you scratching your head. more on this all later

* the earth plot, in which Chrisjen Avasarala is never wrong once but everyone around her acts like she’s executing her political opponents in the streets and trying to sacrifice babies to satan

* the mars plot, in which bobbie has a nervous breakdown over the course of about three days and resets all her character development to her first introduction

* the belter plot in which Dummer continues to be a national treasure and Not-Ashford is still very enjoyable and they prove they are the only competant fucks in the entire fucking Belt but the writers do their level best to sabotage every second of it

Right, so, specifically

Let’s start with Ilus

I think my overall issues here can be summed up with this statement

“The set design, knowing that the heroes would be riding out a world spanning tsunami and flood, decided the optimal way to adapt the descriptions of the shell buildings from the novel to be THIRTY FEET UNDER THE SURFACE OF THE FUCKING PLANET THAT IS GOING TO BE FLOODED.”

My brother and I looked at each other and burst out laughing at the end of the episode in which Holden gets yote across the room by the deluge of water. The deluge of water from the planetwide tsunami. The deluge of water from the planetwide flood that placed the water a good forty feet ABOVE the interior rooms.

The planetwide flood that did not begin to recede for days. In a building riddled with holes and also one big giant one they made. 

This encapsulates to many of the problems in this season in a single example. Writing choices and design choices that appear to be conceived of in the moment without any thought to the rest of the plot. Drama for the sake of drama. Convenient reveals after the fact to patch holes set up by the previous lack of foresight. 

We later see the entry area is flooded, appearing to imply that the room they descend into initially is just a lower area that totally flooded and that they are at ground level in the rest of the complex. As if to acknowledge that, oops, yes, maybe having this complex be situated forty feet under the water level with holes all the fuck over means everyone would drown, so here’s a solution - except, except

When everyone got in right before the flood, they were all standing packed like sardines down in that low entry room. Which started flooding due to the fucking firehose deluge that came in because hello a piece of reinforced sheet metal isn’t going to be watertight in the slightest. So you’ve got water pouring into a small contained space packed with about forty people and supplies - that’s going to be ruining supplies and equipment because it’s saltwater and people are going to be panicking. How do they climb out the other side? There’s no ropes or lines there, it would seem, since everyone was still shuffling around in the entry area when the flooding started. How do they managed to get ropes or lines up to the higher areas in the building before people are trampled or drowned or all their supplies ruined? Why the fuck didn’t the goddamn building just have openings on the ground level leading into a bunch of interior rooms like it fucking did in the fucking novel because the fucking authors despite their other fucking flaws at least fucking planned ahead and had fucking editors that fucking made sure that things were fucking intelligently designed?

Oh, right. So that we could have a fucking scene where Holden has to escape from a closing door or be smushed. Because Holden definitely was in danger of dying and everyone believed it. Fuck. PLAN MORE THAN ONE EPISODE AHEAD.

Related to that - I’m loving the insistence that TV and movies have to make everything related to the main character, and not even tangentially. Directly, directly related. Remember how Ilus fucking asploding was a major oops that wasn’t anyone’s fault? Now it has to specifically be Holden’s fault since he can’t stop sticking is dick in things, so all the deaths are directly on his shoulders. Great job. Really, really great. 

A nitpick here that doesn’t matter - remember when the moons were described as low-albedo and the nights were super dark? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

The Felcia plotline is awful too. Some random teenager stows away to orbit and then becomes instrumental in saving the Barbapiccola despite no experience and completely overriding the actual crew on board. Come on. Come on.

Also - thanks Holden and Elvi, you utter mouthbreathing nonces for not once thinking ‘Gee, maybe I should ask/tell about the MEDICATIONS THAT I AM CURRENTLY ON.’ It doesn’t make it an epiphany moment or a revelation when they realize his oncocidals are the cure, it makes them looking like absolute idiots. Holden, you shoot up daily. DAILY. You told Elvi about being a genetic hybrid. You didn’t think to tell her about the eighty gorillion rads you ate like soup on Eros and the fact that you’re swimming in anti-cancer meds?

Come the fuck on. Come. The. Fuck. On.

Stop making characters idiots to make the plot work. 

Leaving Ilus, there’s Earth.

Fucking Earth.

So Arjun is now Avasarala’s campaign manager and a completely different person. The lack of chemistry between the two actors is so profound that scientists are considering writing a thesis on it as quantum mechanics actually should forbid such an extreme effect. He’s also not Arjun, since he’s alternating between unctuous and judgmental about as often as Naomi switches between an English accent and a butchered attempt at Belter. So that’s swell, we have to deal with a new actor and a brand new character who is awful and should never have been because Arjun was a chill lad and didn’t deserve this.

On the poitical side is Avasarala, who literally cannot stop being right all the time. Seriously, why is everyone up her ass about THE MEANS AND THE ENDS AND YOU LIE AND ITS ALL ABOUT YOU.

I mean sure it is all about her but she hasn’t been wrong yet. And a person can be both selfish and helpful. I couldn’t believe with Arjun got asspained about Avasarala leaking confidential footage of ancient inimitable alien machines that melt moons and blow up hemispheres of planets when the 0 and 1s are switched as a completely reasonable attempt to instill a very healthy and very justified caution in the general populace over the gigantic alien relic that was made out of a hundred thousand people ground up into blue gatorade and marinated on Venus after it broke the fucking laws of physics several times to link up to a pocket dimension that casually rewrites it’s own rules. 

Like what the fuck Arjun, where do you get off judging Avasarala for releasing information about the extremely unpredictable and dangerous two billion year old alien doom machines that are scattered around the galaxy. Is it totally to her own benefit? Absolutely. Is it also totally the right thing to do? Also absolutely because you’ve got Gao hot under the collar about wanting to yeet every willing body through the ring gates into a hotbed of who-the-fuck-knows and acting like it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

Fuck.

Then we’ve got the marine raid. Avasarala is approached by her military advisors and generals who present to her a plan of action to go after a known terrorist who just attempted a direct attack on Earth’s defenses, defenses that I might add are not like ‘to keep people out’ but are actively existential defenses. So they bring a plan to her, lay it out, and she approves it, then when it goes tits up, the fucking General who planned it, brought it to her and executed it has the gall to blame HER for it failing (what) then resign because he can’t serve someone who plays loose with his soldier’s lives (WHAT) and then everyone gets assmad at her for costing like twelve marine’s lives in an attempt to capture a terrorist responsible for several hundred deaths already (WHAT) and then, and THEN siding with the OPA for Avasarala ‘breaking the peace’ when the UN went after a terrorist the OPA is known to have let go???

What the FUCK was going on in the writing room.

Meanwhile on Mars, Bobbie is going batshit insane. After btfoing a bunch of druggies to save her nephew she gets roped into some illegal stuff and then has a moral conundrum about it for maybe five seconds and then it like yeah nvm let’s steal this shit Y E E T. The very same Bobbie that was willing to go AWOL from her command, run to her own nation’s enemy during a cold war and refuse to ever budge on her testimony because the truth and honor meant that much to her.

Yeah.

Okay.

Then she meets a dude on sunday, goes on a date with him monday and tuesday, they bang on wednesday, then on friday he gets a job on Europa and is gonna leave and they have a fight as if they’d been seeing each other for months.

Uh.

Unless this show is doing completely different time scales for different plots, which they’ve failed utterly to communicate, we know how much time has passed. Bobbie met the dude like a fucking week ago, why is this full bore romantic drama as if they’d been in a committed relationship for months? They’ve literally banged twice in a hotel room and not even stuck around for cuddles.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I don’t have much to complain about with Drummer and Ashford. I really like them both and both are fun to watch. They’ve also been treated the most reasonably too in terms of not acting like fuckwits or being dealt retarded hands by the plot thus far.

This season is awful. The Expanse was always subtitled ‘The Expounding’ because of how characters could, at the drop of a hat, produce a minute long monologue about anything, but this season it’s taken that and cranked it to eleven. Every other sentence is an ingratiating platitude about ‘hopeful we’re hopeful future happy live we’ll live yay see each other again strong be strong and brave firm strong and hopeful’. Fuck. Naomi exists to look sad and give brave monologues to people, especially the now lobotomized Lucia who apparently did die and came back without agency. Alex sort of just exists, drifting from scene to scene as if saying ‘I’m still here, guys. Guys? Guys...’ every antagonist takes three minutes to lay out their life story and evil beginnings and rationale only to suddenly flip the tables a few episodes later only to play a reverse uno card and be mustache twirlingly diabolical right after. 

Oh yeah, and because this is my personal autism button:

NO, ELVI, THAT IS NOT HOW LIFE WORKS. LIFE MIGHT NOT ‘JUST AS EASILY’ BE BASED ON SOMETHING ELSE. THAT IS NOT HOW FUCKING PHYSICS WORKS. OTHER ELEMENTS ARE NEITHER AS PREVALENT NOR AS USEFUL IN FORMING BONDS AS CARBON. YOU COULD SAY ‘LIFE MIGHT RARELY AND EXTREMELY DIFFICULTLY BE MADE OF SILICON’ BUT DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE SAY ‘JUST AS EASILY. ALSO IRON. IRON. ARE YOU REALLY, REALLY GOING TO SAY IRON COULD BE USED AS A CHEMICAL BASIS FOR LIFE, BECAUSE HOLY COSMIC BULLSHIT BATMAN.

IN THE WORDS OF HERMIONE GRANGER: ARE YOU A HARD SCIFI OR NOT??

[tigerlover16-uk]

Anime I need to watch (June 2017 update)

Well, another month gone, another update. I’m sure anyone who’s noticed that I do these things knows the drill by now. Sorry I’m a day, almost two late again, I’ve been a bit distracted the last two days.

Okay, so I’m going to be honest with you guys... I pretty much spent most of this month just watching Fairy Tail and a couple of movies on the side.

I don’t know what happened. I was just going to watch one more arc of the show and then go back to either Yu Yu Hakusho or Soul Eater, but I ended up just binging over 150 episodes of this show in a month. I don’t think I’ve ever binged that many episodes of a single series in a month. Compared to Yu Yu Hakusho, which i actually enjoyed even more and yet it took me considerably longer to sit through the Dark Tournament arc, that just amazes me i got to this point.

I dunno. When i get really into a series and it strikes a good chord with me, I tend to get a little obsessive, so that’s probably what it was. Considering next up is a filler arc and I have less than a hundred episodes left to go, since the anime is on an indefinite hiatus, I think I’m just going to catch up on some other shows for July. And since giving my detailed thoughts on a hundred and fifty something episodes would take all day, I’m just going to summarize what I thought of each arc really quick and give some consensus at the end. Ask me for any more specific thoughts if you’re curious.

The Oracion Seis arc was pretty great. The titular antagonists were all pretty fun and interesting in their own right, though Zero was an underwhelming final boss. It was nice to see Fairy Tail teaming up with other guilds, I liked Wendy’s character, it was great that Jellal was brought back and overall it was a pretty exciting arc. I do have my nitpicks, like some weak writing choices here or there, and the members of Blue Pegasus fawning over Wendy and commenting on how attractive she’ll be when she grows up was... more than a little creepy, to say the least. but nothing big enough to spoil the fun. It was a pretty good arc.

The Daphne arc was just okay. Really, there’s not a lot to comment on other than it s kind of fun, but it’s very obvious that it’s just a filler arc.

The Edolas arc though, now that was a letdown. Which is a shame because it starts out really well, but somewhere around the second half of the arc (I think it was just after the episode with Happy’s parents) It just started to drag and feel boring for me. I didn’t end up caring that much about Edolas or the Exceeds, the whole “teaming up with Alternate versions of our heroes” idea is always neat, but not enough was really done with it. And Mystogan turned out to be a big disappointment. After his character was built up so well in previous stories, the reveal of him just being an alternate Jellal who’s a prince of another world, while that had plenty of potential admittedly, was underwhelming due to just how little we actually see of the character until near the very end of the story. And yet i still don’t feel like i knew that much about his character, despite how much importance seemed to be placed on his send off. It all just felt like a waste. And the weak villains didn’t make up for it at all.

The arc had a lot of good moments, both funny and awesome, and a lot of good ideas, but overall i just felt kind of glad it was over so we could move on. Ah well, at least Gajeel finally got his own talking partner, and Panther Lily’s pretty cool, so it was hardly a waste. Wish i could say the same for Lisanna, I actually really like her character, but from what else I’ve seen I have to ask, why would the author go out of his way to bring her back from the apparent dead like this if he wasn’t actually going to do anything with her afterwards? sigh.

Thankfully, the arc right after it with Grimoire Heart was pretty great. It was disappointing that the S-class exam was cut short in favour of Fairy Tail’s conflict with the villains of the arc, but honestly what we got was pretty great anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal for me. This arc had the most tension out of any arc in the series so far, and barring Kain who was kind of annoying, pretty much every member of Grimoire Heart was a fun villain in their own right. The stuff with Ultear was especially fantastic. The set up with Zeref was also pretty enticing, and I’m interested in seeing where everything with that leads. The arc was paced fairly well and it had an exciting climax.

It wasn’t a perfect arc though. While I’d been noticing them in the last two arcs, this for me was where I really started to see where the complaints with Fairy Tail having a lot of contrivances and obnoxious fanservice come from. Some of the ways the main characters beat their opponents were headscratching, and I honestly considered taking a break from the show when i got to the episode where Cana basically decided her battle strategy was going to be to summon swarms of bikini girls to befuddle Freed so he couldn’t fight her and Lucy. And while she made up for it later and I liked her backstory and development, Cana knocking Lucy out and leaving her to fend for herself was... kind of a jerk move.

Not to mention how weirdly executed that time skip was at the end, but that would take all day to cover.

But all of that didn’t stop it from being an exciting, fun arc, easily one of the best in the series.

Wish i could say the same for the Key of the Starry Sky arc, which just felt like a chore to sit through at first and only got better towards it’s final third. And even then while it had a lot of good moments it was a really underwhelming arc that felt awkwardly placed in between the start of the time skip and the Grand Magic Games arc. So, basically your standard filler arc. Ugh, it’s like the Garlic Jr saga all over again.

So i don’t think I’ll cover that in any more detail and just cut straight to the Grand Magic Games arc, which was thankfully a big improvement. Even though it had plenty of issues. Despite their reputation among some parts of the anime fandom, i actually tend to really like tournament arcs. I think they can be really fun when written well, and this arc was fun. The rival guilds had a lot of fun characters (and a few not so good ones), there were a lot of good fights and most of the main characters, as well as Jellal and Ultear, got plenty of good moments (although oh boy, did Lucy just keep getting the short end of the stick thanks to really bad luck). If nothing else, this arc was pretty entertaining and just enjoyable to watch, including having a lot of the funniest moments in the show. So it was a good pick me up after the last arc.

But it did have it’s problems, probably more glaring ones than most of the previous arcs. While a lot of the characters from the rival guilds were interesting and fun to watch, a lot of them got noticeably shafted when it came time for the Fairy Tail members to beat them. Laxus winning over Jura as easily as he did was especially eye rolling. Sting and Rogue felt like they could have been good characters, but they repetedly fell short and didn’t do much that was actually impressive, especially Sting. I actually didn’t mind Raven Tail and it’s members too much, mostly because it was really satisfying to see a bunch of creeps like them be pulverized in the end. But from what i understand neither them or Ivan, their leader, ever appear again after this story. Which... seems like a real waste, considering how Ivan and the guild were built up. They could have served as useful secondary antagonists in a future story with Ivan getting further development, and some closure between him, Makarov and Laxus,  buuut i guess not. Really kind of headscratching there.

And then the stuff with Future Lucy in the final act felt pretty underdeveloped and while tragic, also felt kind of anticlimactic. And while everybody fighting dragons was awesome, Future Rogue was such a lame villain with such poorly defined motivations that it was impossible to care about him by the time he was killed off. Though he did have some cool powers. Ah well, at least the backstory we got on the dragons was pretty cool.

There were several more moments of lazy writing too, but this is all going on a bit long, so I’ll just say that for whatever it’s faults, the Grand Magic Games arc was still a pretty fun story that was at least more interesting to watch than what came before it, and I’ll be interested to see where things go from here. Also, Frosch is now one of my favourite characters for just how adorable he (She?) is!

So, yeah, that was a lot of episodes. Overall, while I see some of the problems people would have with this series by now, I still really really enjoy Fairy Tail. It’s not always perfect when it comes to writing and there’s a number of missed opportunities, but it does have a real sense of fun and more charm than a lot of animes out there. And while i do think i need a break from it to catch up on some other shows next month, I look forward to getting back to it to see what’s next.

Okay, let’s talk about some of the movies i watched this month. Starting with another Pokémon movie, Kyurem vs the sword of justice. And thankfully, this was another good pokemon movie. It’s a pretty simple story, and much of the middle act is basically a big chase scene, but it works pretty well because Kaldeo is a pretty likeable character worth rooting for. The action was good, the legendaries featured were all fun to watch, the animation was nice. It wasn’t anything groundbreaking as far as pokemon movies go, but it was a biiiiiig step up from the movies that came before it, so for that I’m grateful.

And next up is... more Fairy Tail.

Yeah, this month I also watched the first Fairy Tail movie, Phoenix Princess. It was pretty great. The story was good, most of the characters got some time to shine, the animation was lovely, it was pretty funny and had a surprisingly tragic conclusion for a movie based on this series. I don’t want to go into too much detail because this update post is late enough as it is an, but I kinda loved this film.

And next up I watched the second Naruto movie, Legend of the Stone of Gelel... and dear GOD was it boring. Seriously, the Pokémon Black and White movies were more memorable than this thing. The plot was dull and uninspired, the villains and new characters were weak and bland, outside of a few funny moments i didn’t find much amusement in it and  the action was largely unimpressive. I can’t even comment much on the actual story because barely anything stuck after i finished watching the film apart from how much i didn’t care. Honestly i hope this is the worst of the Naruto movies and the next one i watch is an improvement.

And rounding it up, we have the movie Yu-Gi-Oh! Bonds Beyond Time. A three way crossover featuring the protagonists of the first three Yu-Gi-Oh series... and boy, is it a dumb movie. The story is the definition of an excuse plot and full of questionable decisions and poor logic. The villain, Paradox, was ridiculously underdeveloped, with his terribly ill defined backstory about how duel monsters as a card game apparently destroyed the world in the future and him coming back to stop that by murdering Pegasus opens up a lot of REALLY awkward questions that the movie never bothers to address, just expecting us to believe that everything will be alright in the end because... our heroes beat the guy that was trying to save the future?

Honestly the whole thing was just dumb and confusing. Oh, it was entertainingly dumb and it did have a bunch of cool moments, so i didn’t have a bad time watching it at all. I probably would have straight up enjoyed the moments with Yusei if i had ever watched 5Ds, but that’ll come in the near future. But oh boy, is it a bad film either way that seems dedicated to fanservice and little else. And i pity anyone who’s not a Yu-Gi-Oh fan who ends up watching this film and tries to make sense of this, even with that dragging exposition dump at the beginning.

So, yeah, bad movie... but it wasn’t the kind of bad movie that annoys me, i had some fun watching it and laughing at the silliness and few genuinely good moments.

So, yeah, that about covers my anime viewing for June. I could have gone into more detail on some things, but honestly I’m behind on this update again and there’s way too much to talk about anyway if i did. And these posts are just meant to be updates and brief thoughts, not reviews. If anyone is curious for further thoughts on anything, feel free to ask.

I don’t know what I’m going to focus on for July. Right now i just got my hands on the Crash Bandicoot N Sane Trilogy, so i imagine that’s going to be taking up most of my free time not spent browsing the internet for a while (I’m having so much fun already! I’m so happy to have Crash back like this, you guys!), but i guess when i can I’ll start catching up on either Yu Yu Hakusho and Soul Eater and then just watch whatever movies I get the DVD’s for. June was a pretty decent month for me, all things considered

Either way, hopefully I’ll have fun whatever i watch. As always I’m open to any and all recommendations. Seriously, as long as the following list looks, I’m happy to add as many more as possible to make my way through for the foreseeable future. And I hope anyone reading this has a happy July.

Series:

One Punch Man (Seen four episodes a while back, looks good)

Mobile Suit Gundam

Outlaw Star

Cowboy Bebop

Digimon Frontier

Digimon Data Squad

Digimon Fusion

Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s

Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal

Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V

Sailor Moon (Watched the entire first season and was about halfway through season 2. Should really get back to watching the full series) Sailor Moon Crystal

Yu Yu Hakusho (Up to episode 70)

Ranma 1 ½

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (2012-onwards series)

Hunter x Hunter (2011)

Fullmetal Alchemist

One Piece

Astro Boy (Any series. I just want to be able to say I’ve watched something from this franchise).

Kill La Kill

Gurren Lagann

Fairy Tail (Up to episode 203)

Little Witch Academia

Tenchi Muyo!

Death Note

Yuri On Ice

Fist of the North Star

Soul Eater (Up to episode 28)

Code Geass

Food Wars: Shokugeki No Soma (I watched about 9 episode, need to catch up)

Your Lie in April

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Mob Psycho 100

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex

Phoenix Wright anime

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

Natsume’s Book of Friends

Revolutionary Girl Utena

Eureka 7

Black Cat

Black Shooter Rock

Gunbuster

Afro Samurai

Space Dandy

Vision of Escaflowne

magical girl lyrical nanoha

Shin Sekai Yori

Baccano

Cyborg 009

Gaogaigar

Danganronpa

Yo-Kai Watch

Pretty Cure

Future Boy Conan

Yona of the Dawn

WataMote

Space Patrol Luluco

Rurouni Kenshin

Movies:

Your Name

Garden of Words

Paprika

Tokyo Godfathers

The Boy and the Beast

5 Centimeters per second

Millenium Actress

Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro

The Digimon Adventure Tri Movies

Yu-Gi-Oh: The Dark Side of Dimensions

Pokémon: Genesect and the Legend awakened

Pokémon: Diancie and the Cocoon of Destruction

Pokémon: Volcanion and the Mechanical Marvel

Pokémon: I Choose You

Ghost In The Shell

Memories

Perfect Blue

Naruto: Guardians of the Crescent Moon Kingdom

Naruto Shuppuden: Bonds

Naruto Shippuden: The Will of Fire

Naruto Shippuden: The Lost Tower

Naruto Shippuden: Blood Prison

Naruto: Road to Ninja

Boruto Movie

Fairy Tail the movie: Dragon Cry

Godzilla: Monster Planet

Mary and the Witch’s Flower

Princess Arete

Tekkonkinkreet