#I got a tablet today tho so I will draw on PC now!

[bread-is-my-life]

I may have asked this but what app do you use to draw?

I use Ibis Paint on my phone!

[madfantasy]

Dear blogging

How are you today? Sending all the good vibes towards you. I feel much at ease as I had payed for Internet last minute just now (its thanks to you🙏💛) and happy to say Mani will be with you for another month🌟

(Just a small reminder I'm open for commissions to save up for the next one🍀)

Im just going to blab bout life and me art as usual, if you graciously don't mind c':

☆ I'm much at ease, it's the raining seasons in the bare deserts and I'm loving it(Actually, just came in from losing it a bit under the rain, heh) Not the part where it leaked into my carpeted room whilst getting fiercer :' I'm not particularly fond of cold weather, either. I almost enter dull stage of hibernation, being tightly wrapped with blankets and constantly breathing in cold air. I like to muse being born on December does a cold blooded creature make, hehe. But the quiet is much appreciated. They are almost drowsy all the time and I've got the chance to listened to lots of Hercule Poirot. Ironically my last random chapter was him having an old fashioned English Christmas, and it gave me a crave for puddings I haven't got the slightest idea how they taste lo'

I've missed the sun for almost a month and a half now, in much arguments over restricting the yard at first, but now it was a sleep issue. I finally woken up today to see the sun and felt very much.. "yes, I'm in my element " brighter feel

Speaking of which; I dedicate this song for you dears 💛💛🔥

And also this bug i found if ur interested

☆ I've also, naturally, been sketch-storming with my new tablet! I was simply tittering over all the new discoveries I've been making, while also being gobsmacked at how much painfully sore some side are lacking, and some I had no clue what I'm supposed to do with it, like confused grumpy grand-er

For example;

I love how crystal clear it is, but I guess I can now see the brush's repeating circle pixel and pattern which makes it too artificial for my taste and hender my trust in making strokes. I suppose its nice to zoom out just to be sure my process is fine or whatever idk :'

The softwares DO NOT lag when the canvas is big! Ugh, means I can fatten up the size of my pictures easily. But that's surely eats up the storage, and I found out last minute that ipad doesn't have sd slots, unless you have to buy an adapter. Which is the main lack in this stuff. Everything costs. You want to sneeze while holding the tablet? You can't till u buy a permit.

So yeah, my favourite drawing program there, Clip Studio Paint, is can only used by annual/ monthly subscription licence, while its one-time licences is only for windows, means having to by different licences for different systems. So I'm using the free month trail to get by for now, so be sure to read carefully which on is which before purchasing. ProCreate is a one time purchase, tho. And it has TIME LAPS VIDS idk why I go crazy but I love the fact that I can record my art with no effort or pause (cuz I can never sit 1 hr continuously, honestly), and you can see my horribly-edited vid practices on tiktok or insta as @MadFantasy_ . But as we were saying, they even more double storage intake hehe. Love how ridiculously fancy the lines smoothing on it, I can act up as a calligrapher easy and I'm a joke at it! Also I'm thinking of trying Craft Pro as well, is a one time purchase too. Will go through it in details when I cover all the corners cx

"Are you with me or are we together "

Sharing files between my pc and ipad is too much work, found an easy way I'm loving already, go to SnapeDrop dot net on both pc and ipad and basically all the devices on your network can share stuff! Instead of me pluging it and turning the app or sending by mail, ugh

If you're used to shortcuts, good luck being fast on it unless you get a keyboard, or in my case, screen on keyboard im looking an app for, and by mentioning apps

Regional restrictions, I couldn't download tumblr cause its not available in my region 8L

And alot of other things to be expected, really with more to share if its not much of an annoyance cx

I hope days brings you more ease and what much you desire my dears, happy everything you celebrate 🌋🔥🔥💛🙌

Always sending my love

Mani

3.12.2020 8 pm

[mors-exmare]

i just had a bickering with my mom. i didnt do good in my exam today, it was my fault tho, i really conscious of that. i was panic and stressed so i played games instead of study and there was something unexpected that caught me off guard at the exam. but well, maybe that's only my excuses.

the next thing after the exam, came the talk of my arts. it was what hurt me the most. i told my mom that i couldnt draw anymore and i was so sad about it. i was depressed. i didnt tell her the depressed part tho. last night she asked me why i asked to buy the drawing tablet if i dont draw. she told me so much thing that i dont wanna hear that she should've known that im so sad about it. it makes me feel so useless.

but maybe she's right tho. i shouldn't have asked her to buy me that. i should've kept holding myself back from asking her. i shouldn't have had the things i have now.

the thing is, i wanted a drawing tablet so i can help her making money through my drawing. too bad i cant draw anymore. i did try to draw, to paint, but i was never satisfied with it. and i seek a validation my mom wont never give. im afraid of the result then since she only want to know the result. and now how much i want to draw, i will never be able anymore.

it was all my fault. the problem is me. at least if i die today she will got one less problem. she can sell the tablet and even the pc. she can sell everything i own. she wont have a daughter that is useless and wont obey her. maybe she even will find another child of her dream. that reach her expectations and wont bring shame to her. that will not failed their exam and excellent at drawing. maybe it'll be happier for me to see somewhere.

i hope God takes me tonight.