#I guess my real gift to myself for my bday was just open and honest and direct communication with future roomie dude lmfao

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

Am in thinky thonky bc it be that time of year

And like bro this birthday is fucking WEIRD man

[emrys-rusts]

Ooh I forgot but happy bday Dostoevsky!

I guess..

I mean, I wanted to draw something based on your books, because I adore your stories a lot but school has been giving me hell so I'm writing this thank you letter instead! I hope that's alright with you.

Where should I start...

The first time I opened one of your works was about 1 year ago, that is when I was 13-14. It was september or october, and I'll never forget the amazing time I had reading Crime and Punishment. To be honest, I didn't really know what I was getting into back then, I had just recently gotten into reading again.

I had been having a hard time. In first grade I practicly drowned myself in the fantasy genre, kept myself away from everyone, not much because I held bad opinions about them, but because I simply forgot and didn't know the world around me. I didn't want to know the world and wasn't aware of its horrors. I didn't know that making friends was a thing I didn't know how to do.

So when I got into second grade (11-12) my mind obviously went bonkers and I yearned for change and friends. I desperately tried to find that fantasy genre in the real world, and grew bitter when I couldn't find it. I blamed my issues on my passionate reading, and disregarded each of my books, completely ceasing to read much, if anything. I assume it was also because of burnout, for my grades started getting worse although they were never very good in the first place, but I digress.

My 12th to 13th year was spent in much emotion I won't elaborate on, and at the end of my third school year I yearned back the close connection I had reading. This somehow led me to a path of classical literature. I read horror, from horror to E.A.Poe (an amazing writer) and at last to you, well, Crime and Punishment.

At this point I was completely devastated at the sheer mysery around me. The world seemed to me a horrible place, as I had trouble comprehending the injustice many were supposed to face daily. Everyone seemed to me unreal, and no genuine feelings and intentions were to be found in anyone. The world seemed to me a horrible, horrible lie with lies and lies and lies atop oneanother, feeding us spoons of sugar that would not satisfy our hunger.

Reading Crime and Punishment for the first time filled me with a burning hope.

To me it was something that finally shed light to the truth, to honesty and God did I feel reasured and safe.

It felt more real to me than anything ever.

Tears of joy escaped me. I loved how I had found beauty in the honesty about how disgusting, desperate, shattered and all of that! All of that, the world was. There is no greater love than seeing life for what it is, and still loving it, loving many, many people. People amaze me now, each and every one of them, they fill me with joy. I feel more alive through them. They tend to be younger people though, I'm not going to lie. They are all genuine. I love genuine, your books are genuine.

Haha Im ranting again I just cant seem to find the words...I couldn't find the words when I first felt utter happiness at finishing Crime and Punishment and it seems I still cant now..

I can love the world. I think there is no greater gift than that.

I would also like to thank you for all my friends. I also thank you my friend for being my friends!

I've met them through your books you know? I made this silly discord server for people who like reading your books and we have you rolling in your grave at all times-

Those friends are the world to me. I think they are the most beautiful people to ever exist and give me as much base of reality as your stories do.

What I'm trying to say is that ;

The world is a cruel place, yet I can love it despite that because there is

Much much love, and beauty, and the ugly is perfect too. I can now love the world with knowing the truth and I live without fear. It puts me at peace.

So thank you dussy! Also I love the brothers Karamazov a lot <33 lots to brainrot about don't mind me crying at almost 1 am Im going to the dentist tomorrow anyway HA FUCK YOU SCHOOL

Please deliver us those missing alyosha and pavel interactions I know the drafts are somewhere-

My friend Vanya has his own bday tomorrow! Please wish happy bday back they deserve it :>

[sw4tch]

I have many thoughts about my bday

Most of them have been caused by events surrounding my bday after all

First of all, the passage of time feels fake. I don't feel any different from what i did the day before.

But i think that's good. I haven't lost myself.

Two, i don't think i talked about it enough but one of my dearest friends sent me a microwave. An entire microwave, just because i was me and i had mentioned i was lacking one in this new place. I still can't believe it, i see it and i go "THIS IS A GIFT??? FOR ME??? IT WAS FOR ME AND NOW ITS MINE???"

It wasn't that it was a microwave, but rather that someone i adore, seems to adore me too, to the point of sending me such a huge gift.

And i couldn't be more happy about it.

Reminders that I'm loved by friends, reminders that somehow I've found amazing friends along the way.

Third, it feels so weird to be loved by people and having good friends you wish you were even closer with. My office pals threw me a small party and bought a huge cake for me. They gave me a gift. They all were happy for me.

It feels so weird for someone like me who spent the entirety of their life trapped in a box and convinced i was unlovable

Even though last year i had great and amazing friends, now having more friends and being celebrated by them still feels weird

I guess mostly bcus they're office friends and still a part of me believes they are my friends by obligation

But they're the sweetest of people. They really are.

I wonder when i will shake off that feeling of inadequacy.

Fourth, i spent my bday a bit... Sad?

Not miserable by any means, specially bcus i got to have breakfast with a friend

But i got bday messages and it was a bit overwhelming

I didn't want to touch my cellphone all day

I was scared to open the messages.

I don't know why, to be honest. I should have been happy.

But i guess it's been difficult lately to accept I've always been loved, that i got to forge friendships despite being trapped in a box, and that ultimately I am loved

I am loved

I am loved

I am loved

For being myself and nothing else

That's terrifying. It's terrifying.

So i spent most of the day holed up in my room and attending responsibilities i imposed myself.

Hiding away from the world, and yet enjoying being it in one year more.

The truth is, i am happy about my birthday.

Heck, i spent an amazing weekend to celebrate it with friends!

And yet, in the quietest moments i can't help but wonder how i made it out alive.

Kicking and scratching we made it out alive.

Bloody and bruised, we took one more step to stay alive.

It's hard to believe I'm still alive.

A friend that does witchy stuff gave me a tarot reading.

Truth is i am skeptical of any and all magics.

They're like the concept of God. Makes me think that if they're real, then the forces turned a blind eye to my suffering all along.

But still, in the moment of the reading, i believed, i believed in it so much because despite everything i am still naive with a naive heart.

He said something along the lines of:

"You have the power of creation.

And this next card tells me you need to come to terms with not having an abundance of material goods.

But this last card tells me that whatever you set your mind to, whatever thing you're struggling with- The outcome is clear.

You're going to win, you will be victorious"

And i want to believe it's true.

I'm gonna win. I'm gonna try. I'll never lose. I'll never die.

I'll never give up. I'll never give in.

Till i won't be abused.

He told me i could ask the cards a question.

I had to ask mentally, not outloud.

I wondered if i could bring my cats home to me.

The cards said Maybe.

What a hurtful answer.

And yet. And yet. And yet.

It's not a No.

Not like it would have stopped me.

But I'm still gonna try.

I have to try.

Here's to more years of Snaily of the future never giving up.

Have i told you how much i love you? That i love you so much? That whenever i think of your resilience, i feel so proud?

You were forged in the dark, and you could have become twisted and monstrous, as twisted and monstrous as those that hurt you

And yet, you still choose to be kind, and good, as much as you can.

And i love that about you.

And i will always love that about you.

When you feel lonely, remember how much i love you.

And how we will definitely fulfill our promise of happiness. For us, and only us.

So here's to a happy birthday, for the most beautiful enby in town ❤

Grandpa would have been proud.

Good night my love, good night my beloved

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Freddie’s 40th birthday; Freddie Mercury x reader

*Author’s note*

In honor of the legend’s 74th birthday, as apart of my Rock Angel series, I have written up this little filler chapter centered around Freddie’s birthday. It’s unbelievable that had he lived today, we would’ve been celebrating his 74th bday. But as it is said in the Sandlot ‘Heroes get remembered, but legends never die’. Happy birthday Freddie Mercury, wherever you are, know that you are loved and are continued to be loved by generations of people that are just getting to know you or people that have followed/known you when you were alive.

Enjoy my lovelies and until the next update :)

Taglist:

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@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@queensdivas​

@queendeakyy​

@geek-and-proud​

@platawnic​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

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____________________________________________________________

*Sept. 7th, 1986*

I was looking myself over in the mirror seeing how my cowgirl hat looked.  It wasn’t anything fancy just a simple leather khaki hat that belonged to mum who gave it to me just for this party.  I brushed the ends of my hair before Jack came in wearing his Indiana Jones hat.

“Look at you my little cowgirl.”

“Now don’t you dare say something naughty or else you’re going to get it.” Jack faked a gasp.

“How dare you suggest I’d say such a thing.”

“Please Jack. You may look all sweet and innocent but even you can go Freddie Mercury dirty. Or worse Deacy leveled of rottenness.”

“Never did I think he could think such thoughts.”

“You do realize that his first song Misfire was all about pre-ejaculation right?”

“Okay subject change please!” I shoved him and said.

“You started it.”

“Nu-uh!”

“Oh shut it you. Now remind me again why you didn’t want to wear a cowboy hat?”

“You know what those hats do to me. Plus….” He stroked the rim of his Indie hat, “this makes me look cooler.” His brow quirked as he smirked in the mirror trying to be sexy (which he was but I’ll never admit that out loud).

“But then we could’ve been a matching set at the party. Fred would’ve been all gushed up about it.”

“You know this day is about him right?”

“Correction two days ago was all about him. This is his birthday party. Thankfully it won’t be as crazy as last years. Yeesh. I still don’t remember how Roger and I ended up in that closet together.”

“Let alone with your shirt over his face.”

“Oh god yeah that—most awkward thing ever. But I think I recall saying something like ‘it’s too hot in this hellhole for me!’ Or some random thing like that. At least that’s what Deacy said he heard. God we had sooo much tequila that night. Never again.”  He chuckled and wrapped his arm around me and pecked my cheek.

“Yeah cause I wouldn’t want to think that my wife was screwing around with her father figure.”

“EWW! Now that is something I know that not even drunk me would do. Why put that image into my brain oh god JACK!!!” he laughed as I began hitting his arm.  

“Ow! Okay! Okay I’m sorry!”

“You better be. Now what time is it?”

“6:40.”

“Shit we better get going!” I grabbed his hand and we took off out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

In the living room our sitter Derek aka ‘Dancing man’ Anderson, who was also one of my roadies on tour, was already feeding our daughter.

“Okay Derek, we’re heading out. Again thank you soo much for volunteering to babysit for me. Normally I wouldn’t ask you to do this much…….”

“Relax (Y/n). I’ve had 3 kids so I know how this works. Thankfully I was in the neighborhood. Plus I get the chance to see the kid before the rest of the roadies do.” I shook my head at him.

Derek had been one of my first roadies ever since I became the Rock Angel.  He was about the same age as Roger was and if I’m being honest, he’s kinda like Roger in a way.  In fact if I remember correctly it was Roger’s roadie Crystal that recommended Derek to me.  He’s great with electronics and lighting and he’s basically the ringleader since he’s the only one of my original team that has stuck with me for the past five years.

“Okay so her bottles are in the fridge and I’ve laid out instructions on how to warm them up. Her bedtime is in two hours, and her favorite story is ‘Oh the places you’ll go’. And ohh I know I’m forgetting something.”

“Angel, relax. I’ve got this. Jack gave me the full rundown about an hour ago while you were deciding on your hat. Give my birthday regards to Fred.”

“We will. Thanks again Derek.” Jack said as the two of them shook hands with each other.

“No prob, you two kids have fun. And don’t worry mini Angel will be safe and sound.”

“Alright, bye baby girl. Mummy loves you.” I leaned down and pecked my daughter’s cheek repeatedly then Jack came down and kissed the top of her head which was starting to sprout my hair color and told her.

“Daddy loves you too sweetheart.” Jack and I picked up our gifts for Freddie and we walked out the door and headed to the car.

To my surprise Jack actually offered to drive to Freddie’s place at Garden Lodge.  I looked at him surprised and switched seats with him and I must admit I’m surprised that he’s managed to get driving in England down.

“Wow Jack I must say, you’ve really adapted to our way of driving, haven’t yah?”

“Well seeing you guys drive all the time kinda helped me out a bit more. Plus those old driving lessons from Deacy also helped as well.”

“So I got to ask. American style of driving or UK style of driving.”

“Oh American hands down. I still fear that I’m gonna ram into someone driving on this side of the road.”

“Guess we both feel that way. When your cousin Jensen gave me my first car driving lessons, I was terrified beyond belief. Not only was it something totally different, but also just driving on the side of the road that I’ve never driven on. But you’re doing good baby. I’m proud of you.” I gave him a peck on the cheek and he said.

“Hey now, no need to get frisky. I’m the one behind the wheel here.”

“You are just full of snappy comebacks today aren’t yah?” he grinned at me and continued to drive on.

After a while we finally arrived at Freddie’s place just ten minutes past 7.  Jack parked the car just a few yards away from the entrance of Garden Lodge and the two of us walked hand in hand towards the entrance.  I pressed the buzzer at the gate and that’s when Jim’s voice came on the intercom and he said.

‘Hello?’

“Hey Jim it’s Jack and (Y/n). We made it.”

‘Ahh the Kline couple, come right on in.’ the gate let out a buzz and Jack opened the door and tipped his hat just like Indiana Jones as he did his best Harrison Ford impression.

“My lady.”

“Why thank you Dr. Jones.” I said in my best Southern accent before walking right on in and he followed behind me.

We walked across the front garden and I couldn’t help but admire the flowers that grew down the runway towards the house.  We walked up the steps and Jack knocked on the door and soon answering the door wearing a pink boa with an angel halo on top of his head was the Queen himself, Freddie Mercury.

“Well about fucking time you two got here. I was beginning to think you both skipped out on me.”

“Please Fred. If we wanted to, you’d never let us hear the end of it.” I teased him.  He chuckled and smiled that wide smile of his before extending his arms out and the two of us hugged and kissed each other.

“And Jack. Handsome and dashing as ever.” Freddie praised.

“Thanks Fred.” Jack blushed.

“And a couple’s costume at that. I swear I think you two will upstage me. And I’m supposed to be the birthday boy here.”

“Oh well Fred actually we’re not doing a couple’s costume. At least not anymore we aren’t.”

“Oh well then Jack what kind of hat is this supposed to be?” Fred said as he stroked the rim of Jack’s Indiana Jones hat.

“Wow and I thought you would’ve at least seen at least one of the films. This is an Dr. Indiana Jones hat.”

“A doctor you say, well what the fuck kind of doctor wears that kind of hat?”

“He’s also an archeologist that goes on adventures Fred.” I explained to him.  Freddie ahhed in understandment.

“Okay now I see. Well besides all that, come on in my darlings the party’s just beginning.” Fred opened the front door wider and allowed Jack and I to enter inside.

And amazingly while there were a lot of people there, it wasn’t as full crazed as his birthday party last year.  It was mellow, quieter, people making small talk amongst friends.  It was a nice change for once (especially after the after party for the Magic tour).

The party went on and as Fred and I stood side by side of each other looking out at the other party guests I turned to him and said.

“You know I’m really surprised Fred. You really mellowed out.”

“Well darling the older you get, the less of a party animal you become. Even the champ must lose at one point.”

“All these metaphors and old saying you’ve been saying throughout this past year, I swear Fred you should be a philosopher.”

“As great as some of their sayings are, they’d be boring to meet in real life. And dear I refuse to be boring.” He playfully dipped my hat forward covering my eyes.  I groaned and playfully shoved him as I readjusted my hat.

That’s when I noticed a band on his right ring finger.

I took his hand and held it and looked up at him and asked him intrigued.

“And just what is this Fred?”

“Oh wouldn’t you like to know.” Fred teased me.

“C’mon Fred. You know as well as I that this ring isn’t like any of the old concert rings you used to wear ten years ago. So out with it.” Fred looked around before clasping my hand with his and he dragged me off upstairs where we would have some privacy.

We made it to his master suite and there I saw Delilah and Goliath both sunning themselves on the bed.

“It’s from Jim.” Freddie spoke softly as he stared down at th ring lovingly. “He gave it to my just before everyone got here. A sorta—one year anniversary present. I would wear it on my left hand if I could but—you know how people are these days when it comes to relationships. Especially with mine.”

I walked up to him and cupped his face between my hands.  He and I stared at each other and I said to him.

“I’m happy for you Fred. Truly I am. And hell if it were up to me, I’d have you and Jim married tonight if you both wanted to.”

“I know you would darling.” He very gingerly pinched my cheek.

“And……people can be bastards. They think that sexual relationships have to be in a straight fashion. Even Johanna and Graham thought that way. Any trace of homosexuality, they’d treat them as if they were scum of the scum. They’d even tried to brainwash me into believing it as well. But thankfully I have more common sense than them or anyone else that thinks that way. Love is Love. As long as two people are happy and in love with each other, so long as they are of legal age, then it doesn’t matter.” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“A lioness with a heart of gold. Your parents would be proud of you darling.” He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Who knows maybe one day the world can change and have people of the same sex get married. And when that day comes, I’ll be right there at your side as your Maid of honor.” Freddie softly smiled and said.

“I’ll let you plan the whole thing out if you want.”

“Good cause you know I’ve got some suggestions.”

“You did learn from the best.”

“Also I’m gonna tell you what you once told me when Jack and I first became a couple. If he breaks your heart, or makes you cry like that last bastard of a man you had, I’ll pop him off his arse till he’s in a coma.”

We both softly laughed and pecked each other’s cheeks before embracing each other tightly.  “Never change my darling Rock Angel.”

“Never Freddie. So long as you never change either.”

“With you by my side, I doubt I ever will.” We both softly laughed.

“C’mon. I’m betting everyone’s wondering where the birthday boy is at.” We took each other’s hands once more and walked out of his master suite and headed back downstairs.

Everyone gathered in the back garden as Jim, Terry and Phoebe pulled out the cake (which was sculpted into the shape of an orange, black and white patterned cat standing on a podium with its paw up in the air).

Once the sparkling candles were lit, we all sang Happy birthday to Freddie.  Freddie stood by his cake smiling and gushing about till the end of the song before finally blowing out his candles.

“I better not expect a girl wearing a cat costume to pop out and ruin this cake!” we all laughed and that’s when Jim came up to him and delicately cut the bottom part of the cake.  As Jack and I sat together I couldn’t take my eyes off of Freddie.

He was just radiating this pure energy as he chatted away with Phoebe, Jim and his other friends that he knew outside of Queen. He truly was a ray of sunshine who made everyone laugh and smile, and I am so glad that he got out of Prenter’s grasp when he did cause this this was the Freddie I knew and loved.

“He seems happier with Jim.” Jack said to me as he ate a piece of his cake.

“He does. He finally found himself a little niche in life. And I’m happy for him.”

“So they’re really together, aren’t they?” Jack asked me. Of course there wasn’t any hatred or disgust as my husband spoke those words, he genuinely wanted to know whether or not Freddie and Jim were seriously an item or not.

“They are. And I can see that it’s real love between those two. I hope they stay together for a long, long time. They’re good for each other.”

“I’ll admit it, even though I’ve never really seen a gay romance for myself. I think they really do love each other.”

“It’s just like us. Like Deacy and Ronnie, like any other straight marriage or relationship. It doesn’t matter the gender of the person so long as two people love each other and care about one another. Love is Love.”

“I can get behind that.” Jack said as he nuzzled his face into my neck making me giggle softly.

It was about an hour after sunset when the party finally came to a close.  Everyone bid their goodbyes to Freddie and when I had invited Fred and Jim to come and have tea tomorrow, that’s when I found out that they would actually be leaving for Japan tomorrow afternoon.

“Oh wow Japan. You two going on your honeymoon?” I playfully nudged Fred.

“It’s not so much a honeymoon dear. Just a way for Jim and I to get to know each other a little more without all the press and cameras stalking us.”

“Understood. Those blood-sucking leeches.”

“Tell me about it.” He grumbled.

“Well I hope you both have a safe trip and enjoy yourselves.”

“We will darling. And I’ll be sure to pick something up for the mini-angel’s birthday in a couple months. As well as a souvenir gift.”

“You know she’s still a baby right?”

“So what? Just because she’s a baby doesn’t mean I have to stop spoiling her.” I rolled my eyes and embraced Freddie and he hugged me back.

“You’re gonna drive me to early grey hair Mercury.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous darling.” He said in a posh tone. “As I’ve always said you’re gonna be an ageless beauty. It’s me and the other guys that’ll age like milk.” I slapped his arm then we kissed each other goodbye then Jack and I took our leave.

When we arrived back home, we came in to see Derek sitting on the couch watching the news.

“How was the party?” he asked us.

“Mellow but fun. How was our girl?” Jack said.

“Barely gave me any trouble, unlike my own daughter when she was that age. The only fuss she made was when I had to change her nappie before bed.”

“She’s done that with us too. Mum hopes she’ll grow out of it soon.” I said as I walked up to him.

‘Growing cases of the AIDS and HIV virus continues to climb. So far in England alone more than 1000 confirmed deaths have occurred due to the virus…..’ I shut the TV off and muttered angrily.

“I hate the news. They never have anything positive to say. All it is is just death, gang bangs, cults, economy crashes, war, or this new virus that’s been coming up.”

“Don’t let it affect you too much Angel, you don’t need to have all that negativity floating in your head. Well I best be off.”

“Thanks again Derek, I’ll send you your payment in the morning.” I told him.

“No need. This one’s on the house. Have a good night Angel, Jack.”

“Night Derek. Drive safely.” Jack told him as Derek grabbed his coat and keys then left the house.

Jack and I changed out of our party clothes and got into our pajamas and cuddled close together.

“G’night Jack.” I yawned.

“G’night my love. Sweet dreams.” Jack whispered.  He kissed my forehead as the two of us fell asleep cuddled under the sheets.