#bc not really super filtered since mood and I had a lot to say and he said stuff so I had to respond and then just yeah lmfao

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

Am in thinky thonky bc it be that time of year

And like bro this birthday is fucking WEIRD man

[fmdminhee]

headcanon 001. lily’s title tracks & minhee’s opinions. word count: 1,422.

notes: this is all new writing! song titles are not included in the word count. 

into the new world

nearly ten years on, minhee still insists that into the new world was an iconic debut song. she was only in her mid teens when lily debuted, and was full of hope, so ready to start a life free of her mother’s clutches. with all that in mind, there probably isn’t a better song in the world she could’ve debuted with. in the years since, so many girl groups have performed it, almost like a rite of passage, and they’ve rearranged it into a ballad version. if either of those come up, minhee will cry. she’s an ugly crier. it’s pretty embarrassing.

gee 

gee gee gee gee baby baby - hwang minhee (minnie), 2013. she wants the lyrics of gee engraved on her tombstone, if possible. it’s still one of her favourites, and not just because it was a career maker. to be honest, if they hadn’t managed to at least match it with hits going forward, she’d probably dislike it by now. but, as it stands, she loves how unabashedly cute it is. 10/10, would perform all the time if she didn’t know her members’ heads would probably explode.

nonono

nonono is super fun and super catchy, and minhee really enjoyed promoting it. nowadays it’s not one that she’d pull out immediately, preferring the comeback preceding it and the three directly after, but she likes the song. it feels very classic lily, and listening back to it, and the corresponding mini-album, makes her feel sentimental as hell.

tell me

one of minhee’s top three, i think! do not hold me or her to that. all of lily’s title tracks are bangers and ranking depends on mood. but tell me definitely consistently stays in the top five. it might not be technically as good as some of their other releases from around the same era, but it’s tied with gee and oh! for number one song that makes her hyper as fuck. it’s just too much fun, she can’t take it. she got to be wonder woman for the music video too, which was cool. everything about tell me scratches minhee’s silly little brain just right.

mr. chu

though not quite on the same level as tell me and oh!, which 100% turn minhee’s brain up to 2x speed, mr. chu still gets minhee hyped up. something about the chorus and choreography and concept just all fit correctly. she’d like to say they invented the weirdly popular girl groups on tennis courts concept, but she should probably cite her sources somewhere. it’s sort of like a more her nonono.

oh!

oh! came out around the same time that minhee was coming of age, and actually wanting to try something a little different to lily’s typical concepts, and oh!’s styling allowed her to do that -- she liked it a lot, she felt like she was the cool girl in an american high school movie. not only that, but she loves the dance and the addictive chorus too. she has about as much fun with it as she does with gee and tell me.

run devil run

when minhee said she wanted to do something different, she didn’t mean it like this. in all seriousness, run devil run is a fun song, but she appreciates it much more today than she did when they released it. the image reversal on stage was really difficult for her. still, if they were going to go down a sexy route, she hoped it wouldn’t feature so much tight leather in the future. short shorts >>>.

nobody

a very cool song, one that minhee thinks did better at showing off her versatility than run devil run, alongside showing the public lily’s more grown up and sexier sides, without going as far as run devil run did either. she got to be expressive in her face, and really had a lot of fun playing it up for the cameras. fun fact! it’s her dad’s favourite lily title track. 

genie (tell me your wish)

genie minhee’s beloved <3 truly one of their best. it’s the perfect blend of original and the at the time emerging new lily. refreshing and upbeat, flirty and fun. it’s an unbeatable combination of all the things that make lily great. she has absolutely no qualms about calling it a modern classic.

hoot

BOP. has a lot of the same positives for minhee as nobody and genie. she loves the whole old school thing from this era of lily’s title tracks. one of her personal top favourites (a contender for a slot in the ever rotating top three and five), not least thanks to the choreography in the chorus. she thinks hoot is iconic, and though yes, people would agree, she thinks it deserves to be even more of a widespread opinion. 

i got a boy

minhee’s tiny attention span loves i got a boy. she really loves it, like seriously. it’s one of lily’s most active choreographies, and she doesn’t think any other group could pull off a song like i got a boy. who else could get away with it?? she loves how youthful it feels too, and how it managed to be so without it feeling like they’d gone too far back after the mature-ish retro concepts before it. 

the boys

for minhee, the boys is kind of like run devil run’s better younger sister. run devil run was a test run, then they took the formula and made it ten times better with the boys. maybe it’s a confidence thing though. her self esteem was never low, per se, but she was definitely better equipped for a concept like this in 2017 than she was in 2015.

be my baby

retro lily best lily! minhee adores be my baby for its return to one of her favourite styles of lily song --  the kind she can really get expressive during. she could be cute and pouty up on stage again, while still acting her age. she had so much fun performing be my baby, and it’s another contender for the top five title tracks in her opinion. 

only one

only one is a nice song, for sure, but it’s pretty close to the bottom of minhee’s list. it’s like an unremarkable return to classic lily ... except it’s not fun or cute enough to satisfy minhee’s standards. weirdly, it makes her feel old. as if bc is putting an odd, grainy filter on an otherwise modern song and concept because they doubted whether or not the girls could still pull off the likes of mr. chu or nonono.

luv

luv is uncharacteristically somber when compared to pretty much all of their other title tracks, but minhee, surprisingly, likes it a lot. it’s catchy, both in its music and its choreography, and it’s a good blend of the old school drama type of vibe she gets from something like nobody or be my baby with the sweetness and sincerity of into the new world. a dark horse in minhee’s rankings.

five

five, in minhee’s opinion, is a much better attempt at whatever bc was trying to do with only one. it feels much more like proper original vibes lily, noticeably lacking the inexpiable bad vibes she got off the whole production of only one. everything about five came naturally to her.

remember

remember is a really unique song in lily’s discography in terms of its concept. the nautical summery themes also sort of reminded minhee of nonono and the sailor outfits they wore all the way back then. in the grand scheme of things, it lands squarely towards the end of minhee’s list in terms of preference, but above only one.

mr. mr.

ULTRA BOP. minhee loves mr. mr. so much. it’s got all of the retro influences that she adores, topped with a modern electronic dance flair. she’s conceited, so if you ask her, she’ll tell you that lily were the trendsetters behind retro coming back, citing mr. mr. and, like, half of their earlier title tracks for good measure. again, she’s come a long way since run devil run, and is much more comfortable being cool as well as cute now.

i’m so sick

i’m so sick is retro leaning, has a fun dance, and the styling makes minhee feel like a sad princess in a fantasy version of modern day. it’s perfect. she doesn’t love it as much as a lot of their previous releases, but she thinks it’s a really good concept for them to run with in 2021. she’d admittedly been sort of doubting bc and her decision to renew her contract because of her gripes with only one and remember, but thanks to 2021′s releases, minhee feels pretty satisfied with her choice.

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

[vldelijah-blog]

well hello ! my name is blaire (19, she / her, est), and though my app and this intro are very late i’m ecstatic to be here ! i’ve had muse for this baby for a while but was taking forever to make him so here he is ... 4am’s mr. elijah kang ! he’s definitely a lot to handle, but he’s here to bring the party to veil and i’m so excited to see all the craziness he gets in ! i’m super excited to plot with you guys, so please like this if you want to plot something, and check here for his bio, private profile, and public profile ! plots coming soon, i swear, but you can find some general ideas under the cut alongside trivia ! let’s go !

BACKGROUND.

born in la, california !! will always be a cali baby at heart, both his parents are originally from korea but moved there because they wanted to start a family in america !

he has two younger siblings - bora, who’s 12, and jandi, who’s 25 ! such an older brother, he teases / loves them to death and will fly to cali just to fight whoever hurts them !

original name is eunkwang elijah kang, but around middle school he changed it because a.) people always asked him about it or couldn’t pronounce it and b.) he didn’t think it fit him

the only people who still call him that are his parents when they’re speaking korean and his grandparents / aunts in korea. he introduces himself as elijah or eli nowadays, though !

but he prefers eli somewhat because elijah makes him feel like he’s getting in trouble ?? lmao !

his mom tried to get him into child acting because acting was always something she wanted to do, but it didn’t go very far for him

his father hated the idea of him going into the entertainment industry because he didn’t feel like it was a stable career, and thought that as the oldest of the family he should be financially well off

consequently, him and his dad’s relationship has become a little difficult now, he loves him a lot but is frustrated his dad doesn’t seem to be happy for him pursuing his dreams

even so, he started getting into singing because his mom had him join the church choir she lead ! he pretended he hated it but he loved getting all the old people to smile on that little stage

but he really got into performing when he tried to impress a girl with a talent show & won second place by doing a really cringy song & dance performance with friends !

feel free to read more in his bio, but long story short he auditioned as a joke and had the surprise of the century when he made it past auditions AND callbacks !

the idea of being in the “kpop” industy still seems so weird to gim, esp bc it’s never something he saw himself doing ?? he’s a r&b type of guy so it was really weird for him to think about at first

they decided to go with this “flirty bad boy image” for him which isn’t too out of character tbh ?? but they also thought he had the look of a rapper so started training him to be one ! so now it’s one of his positions, and though he finds it really fun he’s embarrassed to call himself one because he doesn’t feel like he has the skills to rap. 

he has a v unique voice, similar to wonpil’s, but since he had no proper training prior to joining the company they had to work with him a lot bc he didn’t really know how to use it !

was a little apprehensive at the whole “boy band” thing at first, until he realized just how much he loved it ?? and then became very invested and has been working hard ever since !he has high hopes for the group and thinks that, as long as they work hard, they can gain a stable following

also was like thank god bc he can’t dance for shit so that helped him otu a l o t !!

PERSONALITY.

like i said before, his personality’s not too different from his brand the company is trying to market him as once they debut ! so “flirty bad boy” pretty much sums it up lmao. he’s got the whole rebellious streak going on, but i wouldn’t call him bad for real because he’s still got a good heart, he’s just dumb and gets into equally dumb scenarios. i think that this pretty much sums it up:

haha !! anyways he is definitely a flirt, even when he doesn’t mean to be ! but he usually does, and isn’t afraid at all at expressing his attraction to others ! ( on that note - he’s pansexual fyi ! ) but his downfall is that he’s terrible with commitment, he’s just not in the mood to settle down and doesn’t know how but i’m sure he’s got a long list of romantic connections ! 

he’s got a bit of a potty mouth, he doesn’t really have a filter ( unless he’s somewhere for work ofc ) but even then he’s had a few embarrassing slip-ups. def got a few wrist slaps for it bc apparently he can’t shut up !! but please lmk if you don’t want him to curse in our threads bc even though it won’t be that bad in threads, i don’t want anyone to feel uncomfy !

very spontaneous, definitely the type to call you up at 3am on a sunday asking to go out some random place with him, he just loves adventure ! some find it endearing while others find it chaotic, he’s really a hit or miss in terms of this !

a charmer, he knows how to say things that people here....especially when trying to get himself out of a sticky situation ! if he had a superpower it’d be sweet talking people, he’s got a way with words and that’s ultimately how he’s become as successful as he has ! once 4am debuts he’ll definitely give fans lots of fanservice and is the type to “marry” them at fansigns and such.

on that note he’s very deceptive and isn’t pathological liar, but can do it v casually if he thinks it’ll make his situation any better ?? not a good thing but yk just how it is !

bc of these he’s quite the life of the party, and actually gravitates toward quieter people because he wants them to have fun & he’s def the first to try to break the awkward tension !

super carefree - the world could be crumbling, and this man will make a joke about it ! it can be good in stressful situations due to his ability to keep a leveled head, but at the same time it causes him to make poor decisions because he’s less concerned about the end results.

a downside is that he can have a bit of a temper, and if he feels like someone’s competing with him or trying to prove him wrong he gets pretty defensive. also if someone breaks his trust this man holds the biggest grudge i stg

tw: alcohol ! he loves to drink, it’s a habit he started back in america but moved over here ! he can’t do it quite as often bc of company rules he has to maneuver, but if you ask him to go out for some drinks, he’ll never say no.

just...silly lmao !! will literally come into his member’s rooms in the middle of the night just to do a stupid dance then walk out & leave.

very loyal & protective over those he loves !! he’s an older brother, so that’s rooted deep in him and he cares deeply about those he gets close too !

not a leader in any way ( thank god atlas saw that ), but he has his own way of checking up on people ! he’s not the talk-about-your-feelings type per se, but if he sees someone’s down he’ll go out his way to make them laugh or do something to make them feel better

also totally irrelevant but definitely has a retro eboy aesthetic going on here ?? his style very much so resembles jaewon his fc, but with a tinge more grunge ?? his ig is so eboy guys i just...he’s a mess

CONNECTIONS.

besties pls ?? 

exes ?? i feel like his exes would’ve ended pretty messily bc he’s the Worst but hey maybe they still vibe !!

drinking buddies ftw !! shall they drink & be merry together !! bonus if ur muse is a stupid drunk two and these two just are losing it 

he misses his siblings a ton so some younger muses, esp girls, for him to interact would be great ? would 100% baby them & treat them like one of his sisters !!

someone equally wild as elijah who he can always count on for a good party or getting into some sot of trouble.

fwb, a no-strings-attached situation except maybe later on ?? depends let’s see he just wants to have fun !

someone very different to him, they’re away of his personality but in contrast are very structured ! it would be super fun to interact with someone like that, see if they butt heads ?

in contrast,  a father-son/mother-son type of friendship where they look out for him to make sure he doesn’t take it too far and he makes sure they take care of themselves and have fun !

give me some rivalry ot enemies pls i love the drama

i promise i’ll add more soon and do a proper plots page but i’m literally so tired i can’t function

[trans--bakugo]

stuff from today

so! im gonna talk about my productivity today, because im proud of myself for getting so much done today. it’sunder a readmore bc it got super long whoops!

started off waking up at around 12ish, maybe 1? took a shower, and i decided to wash my face, since my skins been pretty bad around my eyes and my cheek, so i went through everything, used the oils and stuff, and like. i felt good, and i wanted to keep it up? so i figured i would finish getting ready and start cleaning the bathroom, at least a fourth of my room, and the kitchen

so i did, i started with the bathroom, all thats left to do is clean the toilet and throw empty bottles out, and wipe the counters down.

then i went on to clean up my room a little, started with clearing a path from my bed to the closet/door, then cleaned my desk and even cleaned up my bed, as well as the floor in front of my desk, even did two loads of laundry, so like. i did More than i expected to.

i even managed to get finn-denki’s filter working, but i need to go and get more water tomorrow so he’ll have 8 gallons in his tank instead of the 5 right now.

uh, i cleaned up the kitchen, all that’s left is putting the clean dishes away and reloading the dish washer again.

i’ve also had a really productive time mentally? like, russ and book helped me figure some stuff out, i wrote some stuff down and i’m happy i added the feels section to the discord bc i can keep better track of my mood since i have dates and whatnot, which makes talking to sandy abt stuff way easier but i’ll go ahead and put the mental stuff here now

((from journal

“i took the time to talk about what Brooke said last night. i cried.

“Like. basically i feel like i have to argue and justify myself constantly and when ppl talk bad or make offhand jokes abt a thing i enjoy/love it feels like they’re insulting me?????? so then im like defense mode activate and i gotta fight abt whatever it is i feel attacked abt...”

“she said bakugo had no redeeming qualities, and it genuinely hurt my feelings? and i felt like crying and when brooke asked why, im like “bc i used to be a massive assole like he is and like. it feels bad scoob” ((not my exact words but yknow)) and she like. said sorry, it was a joke and she didnt mean to hurt me. she admitted she thought he had ~some~ redeeming qualities and explained what she thought they were. it’s okay now and we’re all good, but i was like. “why am i so goddamn sensitive abt this stuff.”

russ thinks that the argument i had with kathrine was traumatic for me.

“it must’ve been to have had an impact thats gone on for this long.”

he also thinks that adults dont say sorry enought.

especially to me.

“you have beef with a lot of adults who do smth fucked to you and then play it off like they were in the right to do so / insinuate that you brought it upon yourself”

he said i didnt deserve it.

i cried again.”

end)) 

i kinda related what brooke said to the post about skirts- theres this struggle of having to fight for people to see me as i truly am. and its really taking a toll on my mental health, but thanks to venting today i can start to like. tell ppl what i need now. 

[shultzing]

7/29/2018: did i already say how much of an angel this guy is

8/13/2018: i’m so mad that i’m dating someone so much cuter than me. i never intended for this to happen. my type is usually men who are just above average looking, which I was happy with. now, i have to constantly think about how i look bc I know everyone around us has GOT to be thinking like, wtf is that beautiful man doing w/ that scrubby looking twig in the ancient clothes?? and like... he HAS to know. idc so much if other people are wondering how i got w/ him as long as HE isn’t like... damn, i could be doing so much better... anyways kill me, he is too fucking handsome and this birth control is making my skin break out really bad.

8/22/2018: this whole thing about being in a casual relationship is weird and tbh i’m less and less a fan. maybe i need to grow tf up but like, here’s an example. I’m going to a show friday night that’s literally 5 minutes from his house, and i know he’s free friday, and yet i won’t invite him bc i don’t want to see him there bc i don’t want him to be part of my local music world bc then he’ll mean that much more to me and it will be that much harder to feel and act casual. so that feels shitty. and like, i could totally skip the show and just go hang out w/ him, but I know he’s not planning his life around me, so I don’t want to get myself into a frame of mind where i’m sacrificing my stuff to be w/ him, so i make a point to not plan around him and not cancel plans for him. But getting to a point where i actively don’t want him to come to things w/ me is like some kind of accomplishment but also feels like a battle i don’t want to win? like i’m getting too good at it. at first i was like... struggling w/ it and he could probably tell? esp by how much i texted him and what kinds of texts i sent. but now i’m like, i’ve got a handle on it. i’m good. and it makes me sad. like what is the point of a casual relationship? what’s the point of a relationship you barely care about?

8/26/2018: conflict resolution like bosses >:) i know it’s just a beginning but we didn’t ever even get to a point of real conflict, although we were both approaching the subject at hand from wildly different perspectives and pretty high stakes. no insults or even criticisms, just explaining ourselves, being honest, and both quick to apologize. He definitely gets flustered and then gets a lot less precise about what he’s saying but then he’ll circle back to it when he’s had a minute to process/calm down and can fix whatever he mis-explained previously. It’s good to be back to good. 

8/28/2018: first use of a pet name: drunk text -- “Goodnight cutie. Sweet dreams and I’ll talk to you tomorrow <3″

8/31/2018: the way he reacted when i got suddenly skittish/stressed out was a startling moment in a really good way. He stayed so calm/supportive/reassuring. Who knew that was possible? 

9/1/2018: i think we’re becoming friends :’) meeting someone on a dating app, everything is backward bc the romance and skin comes before the friendship/knowing the person/etc so whenever we hang out for long enough to have time to get into decently long conversations and learn about each other or fight over whether william carlos williams is a good poet or not... it’s nice, and more special. Like, oh! that’s who you are?

9/8/2018: the way that relationships evolve is strange. like, a couple of weeks ago, just getting a text from M or not getting a text from him could change my mood and ability to focus so much bc everything was so new and uncertain and both exciting and stressful. now it’s okay either way. we’ve been dating for a little more than 2 months and things are getting to be sort of familiar and comfortable and less of a constant heart attack. the newness is still strange, there’s always some surprise. The other night he came over w/ his hair down and I was like ???? since when do you have hair like a young eddie vedder?? what is this?? but he was just like... yeah, that’s how it is right after i shower. i had no idea. it’s nice to literally get to watch someone slowly learn to trust you. he doesn’t act shy but it’s also easy to tell that he always has his walls up, I definitely have never seen them down yet, and that is okay. but the more comfortable he gets, the warmer he gets, and that’s really sweet. i’m frequently surprised by how competent of a person he is. he goes to the gym, he eats healthy, he’s a good boss, he’s a good student, he’s a good dog-parent etc. he asks questions like, “reading anything good lately?” and also corrected me instantly when I said KDC died in 93. he communicates clearly/gently/honestly. i’m getting to know some of his flaws, too. anyways i was out w/ a friend (allison c.) last night and we were talking about how shitty men are. i told her that the reason i’m w/ M is mainly just to get a chance to date someone who seems like he can prove that men can actually be really good. told her a story about how M reacted whenever i was having a bad moment and she was like, “I literally have goosebumps rn.” it was cute. reminded me not to take him for granted while he’s in my life. hope i’m not.

9/11/2018: M’s coming over tomorrow and i can’t waittttt. We try to see each other twice a week but sometimes it doesn’t happen and then it feels like forever. But now it’s less than 24 hours until i can hold his hands and kiss his face and i’m so ready.

9/13/2018: If this relationship is going to stick for a while... i can’t wait for the stage to come where i actually know him well enough that i’m not always overanalyzing/overreacting to every little cue. like there’s so much i don’t know that i can learn little things and be like WAIT WHAT? and get really stressed about it and i can’t wait for that to be over. how long til there’s an underlying level of trust/knowledge/comfort? 

9/23/2018: Okay so for the most part this relationship is starting to feel normal. It still doesn’t always feel real just because he is so segregated from the rest of my life. No mutual friends. no school to share, no work to share, no volunteering or show circuit. No one else has met him or even really knows what he looks like bc of a lack of recent pictures. I’m slowly getting more confident and comfortable within it, even though i do still second guess myself a lot more than i usually do. I guess i’m used to being fussed over and spoiled. But this isn’t like that at all. We’re both a) adults and b) busy and c) on opposite sides of the city and he’s still pretty reserved so I know I’m like, low-ish on his priorities list. Like i’m ON the list, but somewhere beneath going to the gym and getting a haircut, and about 10 miles below his dog. It’s fine, it’s only been like 3 months. Less than that. ANYWAY we’ve finally graduated out of the just-casual-relationship category and into the normal relationship category. Or, he said he thought we did a month ago, but I didn’t realize that’s what he was saying. So now I can stop filtering everything I say and do through that ever-present, “is this too serious?” lens and just do what makes sense/comes naturally. or something. I’m super excited about that bc that was getting really tiring and unromantic. 

9/30/2018: Uhhh, we went back into a weird “unlabeled” category where like we’re monogamous but nothing else is defined? Which I think is really lame but I also am trying to be patient and not pressure him and stuff. But I still think it’s silly and juvenile and kind of embarrassing. I mean I know he has his reasons and he needs to work through them on his own and at his own pace but for ME, it’s silly. Anyways. Still feels like there’s so much I don’t know about him or how he works or thinks or feels. But he still is always surprising me by just sheer level of sweetness. I feel like that’s always how I walk away, like, idk that guy but he sure has a kind heart. 

10/4/2018: Ok the back and forth stalling on what we’re even doing and all the associated casual dynamics have kinda killed the romance for me. like it’s cool and all but i’m done obsessing over the relationship and probably won’t be updating this anymore bc i really don’t care and continuing to write about it is just trying to make it a bigger deal to me than it really is.

10/19/2018: Nearly 4 months in and it’s still such a roller coaster, my perspective, optimism/pessimism and level of happiness change like every 48 hours. Sometimes i think we’re on the verge of breaking up because we’re too different or because we overworked the dynamics of our relationship too much. Sometimes i think we’re on the verge of stepping closer because our good days really are good. I’m always surprised by how complicated every little thing is, questioning where my feelings are coming from and whether i’m either getting carried away on good days or paranoid and trust-issues-y on bad days. And there is definitely also a background kind of darkness/heaviness surrounding the fact that the more time goes by, the more i understand that i’m really not even close to being over R. But on Wednesday he and I went to Red Emma’s and then took his dog for a walk and then watched princess bride (both of our favorite childhood movie) and ended up staying up til 5-something in the morning just lying next to each other talking about bullshit. Like it wasn’t staying up all night to work out something serious or anything. I don’t even remember what we were talking about. I remember at some point he started trying to recite post malone lyrics and could not stop laughing for so long. I remember on 9/8 I wrote that i know i’ve never seen him w/ his guard down and i still usually feel like that, but then sometimes lately i think it comes down for a second and it’s always really nice and makes me think it’s worth working/waiting for. It’s understandable that he’d still have a lot of walls up when our relationship has been so rocky and it’s still in the baby stages anyways. I know he must be feeling more and more sure of us bc the way his sister treats me changed distinctly this weekend. Like she was always super nice, but now she treats me like she expects me to be around/expects to and wants to make friends, which is so nice. He’s still incredible when I get triggered. Sometimes I just suddenly can’t anymore and he’s never even hinted at the slightest inkling of being frustrated by that. 

11/4/2018: “do you love me?” “yes. i do love you. its been screaming in my head to say it every time I look at you.” “then why didn’t you get me a seltzer water?” 

11/30/2018: “I’m breaking up with you, and I want to marry you, and I love you.”

---

update: this is going to be a running/updated post for all bullshit things i think about M but should be telling no one and should absolutely not be posting on the internet. 

[starryseo]

youtuber!hyunjin

time for the man

who is more than just a pretty face

hwang hyunjin everyone :))

Chan | Woojin | Minho | Changbin | HYUNJIN | Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

yes, he’s beautiful

but hyunjin is also an amazing dancer and rapper can we appreciate that too

as said before, he, minho and felix all attend the same dance club so they’re really good friends

he and felix live to annoy minho as much as possible

he goes to the same school as seungmin as well so they’re quite close too

and they game together

hyunjin teaches him all the lil’ tricks and tactics

pretends seungmin’s like his little brother even though they’re just months apart

his instagram is full of videos of him and seungmin going out & he’ll make vlogs when they’re out at some exciting place like a theme park, funfair or arcade etc.

the two of them are always together outside

changbin’s jealous

speaking of social media

in a video on the shared stray kids instagram

felix mocked hyunjin’s snapchat username (it’s hyunjinyoung - nothing but love & respect for his love jinyoung ok)

and that spurred on hyunjin being attacked with lots of people adding him

and he’s just like uhhh what 

he was really confused as to how they found out and what he should do

add 100+ people?? make a new account???

he didn’t really want to make a new account though because that would mean losing his cool username :( 

he gets the most comments on his youtube videos from people saying he’s beautiful

he’ll always be like “gosh i know i’m pretty”

but lowkey he’s all like “awwww” like a blushing baby because it feels nice knowing others find you good-looking

at first he was in disbelief bc like ?? the comments are probably just exaggerating

but they continue through all of his videos so now

he prefers getting comments that are actually about the video/ dance/ game he’s posted though

like he’s practically on the hunt for people commenting on how they found his gameplay or if they liked what he choreographed

it’s kind of sad because he tries so hard, putting effort into his dancing and being fun in his game streams

but then a lot of comments are just about his face

he’s really quiet about this problem because he doesn’t want to seem ungrateful for all the comments about his beauty

but he would also appreciate comments on how skilled he is

i feel like i got kinda sad here tho so lets bring up the mood :))

he constantly sees felix replying to the comments about him being pretty

like “yEAH HE’S GOT NICE LIPS BUT DID YOU SEE THAT CARTWHEEL HE DID???”

or “his jawline could slay my life too but that 360 no scope in the fifth minute was so much more lethal APPRECIATE HIS SKILLZ GODDAMN”

the comments are funny but he’s glad that felix is out there trying to make people aware of his efforts

on a much happier note!!!!

he’s the second biggest foodie after woojin

and that’s evident when he randomly appears in woojin’s videos

like in one cut woojin’s there mixing food in a bowl

and in the next cut the whole place is clean and hyunjin’s in the back washing the equipment

he’ll do a n y t h i n g for food okay

he loves woojin’s cooking the most

because it has such a homely, loving touch (as cheesy as that sounds)

so most of his days are spent waiting for woojin

woojin went out shopping one time

came back to his house, seeing hyunjin outside his front door

hyunjin had started a live stream whilst waiting outside for him

as soon as he sees woojin he’s like

“i want cakeeeee”

and woojin’s like “??? the shops are that way - away from my house”

“why would i buy food when you can make it for me :) please :) i’ll clean your whole house :)”

so woojin’s just like eh, why not?

hyunjin always tries stealing quick tastes

he’s super sly, woojin’s never noticed ;^)

he loves having someone who’ll make food for him when his parents say no or don’t buy it bc this boy just loves junk food

he’s memorised the way to woojin’s house and what buses he’ll need to get there on because he goes there so much

he’s one of the guys that plays a lot of video games

he really loves games like overwatch and paladins because you get to choose which character you can be for the matches

he loves changing it up and getting a feel of all the different characters and their individual abilities

he loves reading the backstories of the characters

finds them so interesting and would genuinely want to get into a game-making career when he’s older

while he does solo game streams

like when a youtuber tries out a horror game or smth

he’ll just start rambling about any particular character and he ends up not getting scared by any jumpscares etc.

he still loves playing horror games

once invited chan over to play one and chan literally sCREAMED 

he has since lost his faith in hyunjin 

because hyunjin managed to video the whole thing

and shared that video in the SK group chat

felix cut down the video to just when chan was screaming 

they forever mock him with that lmao

hyunjin also likes rapping but he isn’t as open with it as the 3racha guys

he and felix will rap along horribly to their songs in front of them and jisung’s just crying in the background like TnT

and he’s rapping in a few of the instagram videos when the group are just chilling, messing about

but that’s about it

people keep requesting for him to do a whole song or smth

but he’s kinda shy??? like, he wants to improve more before showing everyone else

he stays up late practising and the guys are proud of the effort but are always telling him to rest <3333

the instagram is also filled up with loads of his selfies because he just really loves taking pics

but he’s always doing something funny in the pics

like chan was sleeping and he used snapchat’s faceswapping filter on himself and chan

it was so weird but he still posted it bc yolo

also got a short video of himself shooting a fingergun at felix

and then felix, in the back, moved his head as he got shot

it took really long to align felix’s head with the end of hyunjin’s finger gun

but the outcome was worth it

he slowed down the video and it looked really badass

he’s also got blackmail material on everyone in the group

from the full video of changbin acting cute to the most ugly screenshots during their skype/ face time sessions

he has shit on jeongin too

but he’s too nice to actually use it against him

jeongin usually just listens to him anyway

so he keeps the screenshots for sentimental reasons

he’s 1/4 of the ‘00 line gamers

and whenever they’re in a group game together

he’ll call the shots and be leader

and they all listen to him

bc he has almost always lead his team to victory

he was all bashful like “guuuuys we’re a TEAM, we don’t need a leader”

but they made him leader anyways

takes advantage of seungmin’s lack of proper strategy when he’s against him and always goes after him to perfect new trickshots

and then in the next match they’ll be on the same team and he’ll do a complete 180 and help him out so much

he likes how they all depend on him and trust him

not just during games but when the guys have their serious talks too

he knows that he can trust them with whatever and vice versa

also really loves how the older guys (esp. chan) will try to help him because he’s quite young, still learning life and going through typical teenage stuff

and also loves how there are other guys that are his age so he finds it easier to relax around them all

will also try to give the ones younger than him his own advice

(he feels so mature when he does that like wow damn you go hyunjin!)

i feel like this one wasn’t as good as the other ones sorry =\ feedback is appreciated &&& thanks for reading!!

[strydcr]

hellooo babes, i’m blair waldorf acacia (◠‿◠✿) nineteen, she/her, and the main admin here. lol sooo sorry you guys are all trapped in this rp with me. but wtver~ you guys will learn to adore my 3am messages comin’ up with plot that’ll hurt us and what not. also meet the beauty that is stryder estrellas. anyways, i’ll try to keep this as short as possible. since i always get lazy halfway thru writin’ intros. :~)) )) ) &&. of course this got way longer than expected so just find the ☪  at the end to read the summary // aim: alohacacia && skype: alohacacia

****psa you clicked on this so you’re obligated to plot with me srry but i don’t make the rules.

░   * . ╰ ✯ ›  ⊰ SELENA GOMEZ, CIS-FEMALE, TWENTY-THREE ⊱ is that STRYDER ESTRELLAS ? the BARISTA & FLORAL SHOP ASSISTANT MANAGER. they’re known to be INTELLIGENT & INDEPENDENT. but also BLUNT & CYNICAL. unknown to them, they are the reincarnation of PERSEPHONE.

BACKGROUND + TRIGGER WARNINGS: cheating 

well to kick things off, stryder is that one night stand baby. let’s call her biological dad “bio father/dad” and her mom’s husband “dad” then of course her mom is “mom”. sorry if this is confusing. but just think about how stryder is gonna feel once she finds out about this.

once upon a time her mom and her dad were happily in love. like they were the high school sweethearts who ended up getting married and blah blah blah. but before she was born, there was a point in time where the two broke up. probably once they were both about to start freshman year of college. that’s when her mom hooked up with stryder’s bio dad. she obviously ended up getting pregnant. but she ended up making up with stryder’s dad. SOOOOOOO…. he thinks he’s stryder’s father. but he ain’t. the one night stand hook up is.

stryder is completely unaware of the fact that he’s not her real father. her mom is still in contact with her biological dad. obviously, keeping that a secret from both her husband and stryder. but it’s only because her bio dad always sends her money to help provide for stryder. so basically this family is a mess. but only on the low. because on the outside this family is absolutely perfect. she grew up in a really nice household. suburban type of wealth in a town outside of los angeles, california. big house, nice cars, a vacation every now and then. but not rich enough to like be bill gates or something you get what i’m saying? just a nice upper middle class.

you might be wondering... how did they end up in seattle? one day her dad told the fam he had to move out to there because of work. (occupation: tbd) so they packed up everything they had and left. this was around the time stryder was starting her senior year of high school. stryder really isn’t the type to throw a fit over dumb shit. but you know this girl started bawling knowing she wasn’t going to graduate with her only two friends. ‘cause she had to start the loner life all over again.

now, stryder works at a small coffee shop as a barista and an assistant manager at a floral shop. (cause persephone, flowers, how cute.....) she does go to school at a community college about 30 minutes away from her house. probably studying to become a botanists. (a literal flowerchild yes.) and to her surprise she is actually enjoying living here. she doesn’t know why, but she feels drawn to the place.

PERSONALITY + RELATIONSHIPS + TRIGGER WARNINGS: anxiety 

PERSONALITY wise, she’s that tumblr post that’s like ——— me: i love myself i’m such a bitch // me: i hate myself i’m such a bitch. because one day she’ll be like “oh my god you’re my best friend!!!!!” then they’ll do her shady and she’ll be like “new phone who dis?” like do her dirty and she’ll get angry real quick. which is bad because it’ll trigger her anxiety. but yayayayayayayayyyyy. she’s the type to be sippin’ tea with her pinky finger up. she is the “is it bad that i secretly want to be hit by a car all the time” but also the “gotta better myself, my body, my skin and my bank account” type in one. she has a very clean exterior. although she outcast herself a lot. she does care about her appearance. (i.e. she has a sense of fashion.) she really likes to read and learn. so, you can always catch her doing something of the sort. talk to her about flowers or coffee and she gotchu. overall, stryder is pretty wishy washy. it all depends on her mood. she’s kind of a wallflower. isn’t exactly the most popular baby. but that’s by choice, not by force.

when it comes to FRIENDS stryder can always use some of 'em. she possess the qualities of a good friend loyal, honest, trustworthy. however, she can be quite obstinate. which might be a reason why she might not have as many friends as she would like. once her mind is set to think a certain way it’s hard to persuade her to believe otherwise. she’s the type of friend to listen to your problems, but be prepared to listen to her opinions – all of them. she’s also the type to put a friend in check when they need it. she thinks of it as trying to convince them to see the bigger picture. first impressions is something she might not be very good at. while she isn’t exactly the definition of rude, she tends to not filter then things she says. overall, i would say that she might just need a handful of friends and just a whole bunch of acquaintances.

i’m pretty sure stryder doesn’t think she has is ENEMIES. but, i could obviously understand why a girl like her would have any. she tends to be very outspoken and although she doesn’t mean to insult anyone or come off rude, she can’t help it. so, there’s always that. stryder is the type to hold grudges. (this is mostly because of her mother — trust issues man) she thinks once you fuck her over, then inevitably, you’re gonna do it again. basically, if you lose her trust everything you had, despite how far back your past goes, she isn’t going to trust you fully again. so if there was any type of fall out at all, stryder is gonna be pissed 5ever. but if in some point in time where she had to chose between her life and saving another’s, she’d save them before herself. stryder’s a good person guy’s. she has good morals. they’re just messed up in her black hole of thoughts. enemies? *grabby hands*

alright, so stryder and LOVERS. i have a feeling she’s dabbled in the dating world. she’s had a few boyfriends, dates, etc. but most likely nothing LONG TERM. possibly because she doesn’t see the point unless it’s for marriage. just like her mom and dad (lol troll.) she has the independent woman facade going on right now. which makes her seem like she doesn’t want anyone. but deep down she’s a hopeless romantic. this girl would love to be loved. and she truly needs it. most of the time she makes herself the outcast. this girl is completely oblivious to anyone having a crush on her. assuming friendship automatically. she’s probably read tons of books about love and fluffy shit like that. so she has high expectations when it comes to relationships. so someone rlly needs to come here and treat this girl right.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

FRIENDS

best friend — someone who will always be there for her. the person she feels most comfortable with. // m, f, or nb

partner in crime — they may not be the most reliable person like her best friend. but definitely someone she can get turnt tf up with. // m, f, or nb

childhood friend(s) — her first friend(s)! the one(s) she’s known since birth. she will never switch up on the real ones. (or so u think...) // m, f, or nb

ENEMIES

rivals — someone who hates her and some she hates too. maybe they just don’t get along yo. it happens // m, f, or nb

old bully — maybe somebody who bullied her or someone she might have bullied? bc honestly, if she bullied someone it would’ve been a joke. // m, f, or nb

old flame that didn’t end well — this is someone she used to date. maybe they wanted it to go further than just a date. but she ended up cutting ties with them. now it’s just made awk. // m, f, or nb

LOVERS

hate/love — just ‘cause these are my favorites. just little bickering. maybe they’re too much alike or just not a like at all. // m, f, or nb

old flame that ended well — the classic, exes that ended on good terms. they don’t hate each other at all. are actually still on really good terms. and possibly still have lingering feelings.  // m, f, or nb

currently dating — going on dates and what not. having a good time. who knows where this could go.  // m, f, or nb

MISCELLANEOUS

☪ overall, this bitch is flippy floppy. she’s loyal. quiet, but has a lot of opinions. intelligent, but sometimes stand-off-ish. she’s a bit of a feminist. trusts no bitch. but if you’re her friend, she’s chill AF. but really — she just doesn’t know how to process her good thoughts into words. she’s a barista and florist. she’s independent, hardworking, and determined. my muse for her is michelle (spider man homecoming) & margo roth spiegelman (paper towns). she’s a bit sketch when it comes to making new friends. since she’s a bit of a loner. and she’s super family oriented. despite her being absolutely oblivious to the fact that her mom cheated on her “dad” with her bio dad. anyways, give her girl scout cookies and she’ll love you til the end of time. overall, she’s not as lame as she portrays herself to be and is actually a pretty rad chick.

wEW this got waaaaaay longer than i expected it to be. anywho, if you actually read all this i love you and i cherish you hella. if you just skimmed, i would too. i would really love to plot with everyone. so just slide into my dms and we can get things started!! but okay, so, now imma go touch up my other intros. hope u don’t hate me after this long ass essay lmao. luv u *blows a kiss*

[mystic-messenger-scenarios]

Random relationship hc for the RFA

(this wasn’t a request sorry but i’m slowly trying to get back into the whole writing thing hhhh my bad, if you want i’ll do a V and Saeran edition)

Yoosung

would be so damn cheesy : he'd try every cliché lines, dates, moves and just about everything he's seen in romantic movies

if you played video games with him, he'd try to do couple stuff in there : he's Mario and you're Peach in Mario Party; matching outfits in LOLOL, you're always in the same team/guild when you play multiplayer, he'd name both your Pokemons with matching names

If he ever played a game where you can romance someone (like Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Fallout..) he'd avoid talking to any of the romanceable characters just bc he'd feel like he'd be cheating on you (lol nerd)

he takes cooking classes so he can be better at it and loves to make you a cute bento box for lunch

loves coffee dates and loves holding your hand even though he's super shy about it

kinda shy with PDA but if he's really happy, he'll get super confident and will kiss you and hold your waist all the time

biggest cuddle bug you've ever seen : you're working on something? he'll find a way to sit behind you and wrap his arms around your waist. He's playing LOLOL? He'll ask you the second you enter the room if you can sit on his lap. You both just came home from college/work? He'll drag you to his bed and cuddle until it's time for dinner.

Loves pet names but he's so embarrassed with them; he loves stupid names like cutie pie, my hero, my player 2, honey bunny (he's so embarrasing jfc yoosung)

Zen

I mean he's no better with pet names but he's a bit more traditional (with babe, honey, darling) but if you do something cute or just if he's in the mood to coddle you (which is very often) he'll give you long and embarrassing names like 'my fluffy cutie sweet beautiful adorable little cupcake' it's bad and it's even worse that this man has no shame - he'll say that in front of everyone good luck with him

he's so dedicated and observant though. Doesn't matter that he only sees you in the morning before going to work and at night when he comes home and you're already sleeping - if something's wrong or you don't feel well, he'll know. It's like he has a radar and he just knows even if he's away from you, when you're not okay and he'll do anything to help and cheer you up

he's always so open about his feelings and how thankful he is to have you - not only will he never take you for granted but he'll always make sure you know just how much you mean to him, how grateful he is for staying with him despite how his career isn't making things easy for your relationship together

doesn't matter if you're in college or at work or even in another city or country - he'll find a way to talk to you almost all day long - not necessarily in a clingy way (although he can be clingy if you let him) but he'll check up on how your last class went, make sure you've had lunch (although he'd do what he can to always eat every meal together), call you when you both have a break, send you selfies when you're at work

he loves suprising you : there's a beautiful bouquet on your desk at work/home? that's him. you've had a stressful week and you're about to have a breakdown? let's go on a date where it's just the two of you and you don't have to worry about anything or anyone. He has a lot of work and spends his time practicing? He'll leave a bunch of sticky notes everywhere for you to find and he'll write compliments, declarations of love, things to cheer you up and help you get through the day.

Jaehee

Not very open with PDA, she feels like it's not proper and she's not a fan of showing her love to strangers. she'd prefer walking close to each others rather than holding hands for example

since she loves baking, she always makes some stuff for you and she also makes you try all her new creations to know what to improve before she makes them available on her coffee shop's menu

ahh and if you love coffee (and I hope you do if you're with her) she makes the best cup and always prepares you one in the morning - she absolutely loves having breakfast together and wouldn't mind waking up extra early just so you can both take your time and enjoy the moment before going to work

she'd always be there if you needed help with your work or making notes for school - she's so organized and her way to make notes and color coding are on point

she's not spontaneous and she hasn't been in a relationship in a very long time so you need to take things step by step with her but with time she becomes a lot more open to you and while she's not very good with voicing her feelings and thoughts, she'll always make sure you know what her feelings for you are

she's independent but she's also been alone for a long time, she would want to start living together kinda early on in the relationship just because she wants to share as much as possible with you

she gets incredibly touched and flustered at random acts of affection because she is just not used to them and it means so much to her, even or actually, especially the little things : you made her breakfast? she'll give you the brightest sleepy smile you've ever seen first thing in the morning. You saw something in a shop and it reminded you of her so you just bought it? doesn't matter what it is, she'll keep it with her at all times and smile every time she looks at it. You tell her how proud you are of her for following her dreams? she'll be in tears in less than two seconds

Jumin

you'd think this man would be proper and distinguished and what not but no. When he's with you, he's like a giddy teenager who just looks at you with so much love in his eyes that it terrifies anyone who knows Jumin Han the Robot Man.

you've got him wrapped around your finger and you don't even need to do anything about it. You just have to exist and bam, he's 100% smitten with you. You can ask him anything and he'll get/do it for you. Ofc, it makes more sense for him to show you his love through material stuff like expensive clothes, jewelry and fancy trips to the best spa in the world; if you didn't want him to spend his money on you then too bad because he'll buy you stuff anyways, he just can't help it, it makes him so happy to buy you stuff -- but with time, he'll learn how words alone can affect him and you. 

He'll feel so wonderful when you tell him that you love him and just if you tell him your feelings - it won't take long for him to do the same bc he wants you to feel as happy as him - and he has a way with words + no shame so good luck trying to survive this combo bc the fluff this man brings will be the death of you

he loves to show you off, he just needs the whole world to know how perfect you are and he's pretty handsy too - he's never felt the need to be so close to someone both physically and in a relationship so it's pretty overwhelming for him and if you give him the okay then he won't see the point in holding back - he doesn't care about what the others say, as long as you're fine with him holding you, kissing you, nuzzling into your neck and resting his forehead against yours in front of everybody (be it at the office, in the street or in a super important party with fancy people from all over the world) that's all he needs

you know, he's kinda rivaling with Yoosung on the #1 RFA's cuddle bug bc he absolutely loves holding you and there's nothing better in the world for him than waking up with you in his arms, still sleeping with your face hiding in his chest

he's still shit with taking pictures and it's a shame bc he's become a selfie slut (watch out Zen, a new challenger has arrived) but, he only takes selfies with you

and he download more or less every single app that lets him add stupid filters to your faces so you can have kitty whiskers or flower crowns and what not

despite how busy he always is, he always tries to see you in the morning and makes it a point to come home for dinner - doesn't matter if he has to bring home five full folders from the office and work at home - dinner time with his love is important and he won't miss it

707 (i don't know how to write him so it's gonna be bad sorry)

it's gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions with him so I hope you're patient with his shit bc he'll still have his emo days where he just wants to be alone with his deep dark edgy feelings so yeah you deal with that 

most of the time though, he'll just goof around, prank you H24, try to make you two become a meme

he has 0 domestic skills so hahhh I hope you do. either that or you're fine with living in a constant mess and eating junk food all the time - you'll either have to be like his caretaker or his partner in crime (or both if you can manage)

he doesn't take most things very seriously though and making you smile and laugh is his number one priority so there's that

he's more or less a walking wikipedia + urban dictionary so if you need anything for an essay you're writing just ask him - he's full of knowledge - both accurate infos and random useless trivia

he'll take you on every single date possible and once he's done them all, he'll invent new ones. The classics will be going to the arcade and getting the highest score on every single game or going to a lasertag or paintball and teaming up to be the winning team every time. He always gets so into it and you'll both have code names like 'God 1, this is God 2, I have the enemy team in my sight do you copy?' and if it's a game where only one person can win, he'll make you shoot him and be all dramatic about it 

for the more original ones, he'll make the both of you dress up and wear wigs and pretend to be other people with other identities; like you'll slip in weddings and pretend to be distant family of the bride while you stuff your face with the food there

he'll make a bunch of stuff for you like he'll make an app where there's a 2D version of him and you can poke him to get voice lines, pet him and he'll say "nya", you can dress him up and you have interactions with him with dialogues choices (like in MM, how meta)

i hope this wasn’t too awful rip

[m4rkshouse]

are we allowed to ask them in bulk? :-0 i wanna ask like 1-15 but if that's too much just those the ones you like! and also, 26 because it's my birth date lol i love u and have a good day!!

ahh happy birthday!!! i love you too and hope you have a good day (it’s actually night here but basically day bc ya girl is a night owl,,,) anyways i will try and answer as many of these as possible as quickly as i can without rambling but i’m already rambling so i’ve already failed whoops 

1. when you have cereal do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?uhh honestly i rarely eat cereal?? when i do more milk than cereal tho

2. do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?umm actually yes i adore winter most of the time tbh until it’s like /super/ cold then i’m out honestly what a fake canadian

3. what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?i’m the devil himself and mostly fold the corners over lol i am the worst type of person,,, other than that i use sticky notes and sometimes bookmarks if i have them which is never bc i lose them

4. how do you take your coffee/tea? i actually drink neither coffee nor tea but i do adore hot chocolate and i rlly like it with whipped cream and marshmallows on top :’)

5. are you self conscious of your smile?umm no bc i paid a lot of money for it,,, aka i had braces in grade 8 and 9 and i actually really like my smile a lot more now

6. do you keep plants?NO BUT I WISH I DID MY MOM WONT LET ME :(( (i particularly want some succulents for in my room but alas i am not allowed)

7. do you name your plants?*refer to question 6*

8. what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?genuinely writing, i write poetry when i’m feeling it and then also my fics, depending on my mood a fic will be particularly angsty or fluff, etc. i honestly haven’t written a new poem in a while though and i rlly miss it 

9. do you like singing/humming to yourself?okay to answer this question i’m simply gonna say that i get yelled at by my family to stop singing bc i sing so much it’s really not okay

10. do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?usually my back but recently i haven’t been able to bc of breathing problems related to anxiety nbd so i’ve been forced to sleep on my side oh well 

11. what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?i honestly can’t think of any tbh, i don’t think we have any “jokes” but like one of my friends has been my “girlfriend” since grade 9 and has a boyfriend now and is “cheating on me” ?? i really can’t think of anything 

12. what’s your favourite planet?i would probably say saturn bc i like the rings but i also really like pluto despite it not being a planet anymore bc roman mythology and also i relate so

13. what’s something that made you smile today?astro’s comeback ofc!! seeing my boys having a good time and being their talented selves makes me happy 1000% of the time :’)

14. if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?this question is lowkey so hard?? i would say lots of house plants and probably throw pillows too,,, probably a lot of books too bc both of us like reading. the walls would likely be some kind of mixture of purple and green in some way bc that’s each of our favourite colours. also lots of food in the kitchen bc we both like eating, chocolate milk would be a necessity with the two of us tbh. (this isn’t really looks lol i suck idk what this is)

15. go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is. i actually didn’t have to google this but did you know that uranus is blue bc the methane in it’s atmosphere filters out red light thus making it appear blue, fun facts there ya go 

26. what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every outfit?white converse bc they’re literally the only shoes i wear. i wear them with my school uniform, with jeans, with leggings, literally everything.