#I had some intrusive thoughts

[actorsmask]

(Ahanon is currently lounging in their house, reading some random book Ms. Pela had made them beta read for her. Apparently she wrote it and wanted them specifically to speak their thoughts on it.)

Simple plot, but effective, it always got readers on the edge of their seat and makes them yell in frustration for the two to kiss… Heh, boy do I know the… Feeling…

(They immediately sat up, interested at a particular part of the story.)

… Oh my god, Ms. Pela…

The book read: “I do not love him! Your just spouting nonsense now!!!”

His friend stared at him with a deadpan stare. “Yeah, sure, mhm, totally— I’m not going to do this again Sam! You need to stop denying it and delaying or you’ll lose the chances you have of being with him!”

Sam rolled his eyes and stood up. “Like you said, I’m not doing this again either! I do not have any feelings. Period.”

“You didn’t seem like it that one time Garrett got the flu—“”That is beside the point.”

“No it’s not! I’m telling you, running around in circles like this won’t work!”

Sam sighed and walked back to his room, ignoring his friend yelling at him to ‘wake up.’

“… I don’t like him.”

… He admits he’s attractive, but so does everyone else! I mean, everyone likes Gerard! He’s a novel citizen, good work, good pay, good life, good family, and good money!

Sam? He can’t even count the amount of times he’s went to jail! He’s a crook, a criminal, an absolute fool… He and Gerard would never work. Never.

… Sometimes, though, he allows himself to wish.

.

.

.

.

“…ett…rett…”

…

“… Garrett!!!”

Garrett snaps out of his trance and looks back at his friend, who looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “These bags won’t carry themselves lover boy! Help me out!” “Ah, of course, sorry.”

Garrett immediately picked up a few bags and walked alongside his friend, who side-eyed him.

“If you were daydreaming about—“”I was not daydreaming about Sam.” “I didn’t even mention Sam.” “I can already tell you we’re going to bring him up.”

“Basta, tomato tomato.”

Garrett sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t like him, nor love him.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” “I’m serious.”

“And so am I, Garrett.” They said seriously, looking at them with a stern gaze as if they were a parent scolding their child. “You need to reflect seriously, and think about this. You can never just easily put a label like this when it comes to love.”

“I have already thought and reflected, and I can say with full confidence that I do not like Sam.” His friend sighed and kept walking.

“… You won’t be able to be with him forever, Garrett.” This made him stop walking, staring at them as if they had insulted him. “Again, I’m serious. You know how many enemies he has? How many enemies you have? Something could happen to either one of you or even both! And you would never get the chance to talk again.”

This made him stop once again, it made him think. Garrett was rich, sure, but it meant people wanted his money. His family was well known too, which made him even more of a target.

Sam… Sam always landed himself in jail. One day he himself could go too far and get tased by the cops, or worse, shot and killed. Not to mention the amount of people he’s hurt and scammed.

As Garrett was thinking, his friend snapped their fingers to get him out of his trance.

“See what I mean now, Garrett? Both of you are big figures, both well known, which makes an easy target.”

“…” They sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. “You can still wait, but don’t keep each other waiting so long. Both of you have dangerous lives, you might as well spend what little you have left with each other not as rivals, but as lovers.”

…

(The book ended there.)

(Ahanon laughed loudly as they finished reading.)

Oh Ms. Pela, stooping to a new low I see!

(They sigh and place the book down on their table.)

… She asked me how she should end it…

(They said thoughtfully, looking towards an old picture of themself and Sampo, it was… From a really long time ago.)

… I haven’t seen him this happy… For a long time.

Maybe… Maybe I’ll wait and see, then I’ll tell her how the story should end.

[bananasofthorns]

“He betrayed your trust and you aren’t more upset?" Helsknight scoffs. "Pathetic.” Wels rolls his eyes. “It’s a death game, Helsknight, that’s kind of the whole point. I should’ve seen this coming, honestly.” “You’re naive.” “Iskall’s my friend. It’s not naive to trust him.” “He broke that trust!” “Well, yes, and I plan to get him back for that someday, but also: it’s a death game. We all agreed to it. I’m not mad at him for killing me, I just wish he’d been a bit more upfront about it.” If he’d been more obvious about trying to kill Wels, then maybe Wels wouldn’t be dead, also. But Iskall’s whole goal was to kill him, so he can understand the deception. “You’re infuriating.” Wels shrugs. He generally tries not to be, but in this instance, he finds that he doesn’t mind. “Maybe so. Look, can we finish this later? I need to go get my stuff back from Iskall, and your presence would probably freak him out.”

you know when you get to that point of dealing with intrusive/self deprecating/etc thoughts that you're just like. "yeah okay. consider: you're stupid and wrong. also: go away, i'm busy"? that should be wels and hels

read on Ao3

[canisalbus]

Adding onto the Vasco nightmares thing: it's not uncommon with real losses for the mourner(s) to struggle with dreams where they have to reach an end goal (ex. traveling across the country as fast as they can to reach them) in order to "save" the one they lost, or to be completely taken out of a dream because the lost appears in them (knowing that something isn't real because the mourner KNOWS that this person is dead and can't be alive like they are in the dream).

It could be compelling to explore that side of Vasco's grief more

.

[rapidhighway]

I can't believe people give advice that's basically "be less stressed". How can I explain to you that I've been scared of walking down the stairs since I learned to walk and I get an intrusive thought every time I cross a road. And then I have a lot more, actually real and important stuff to be anxious about!!

[moghedien]

i swear if you people start uwuifying OCD like you did with ADHD and autism I'm going to start attacking

[vulture-jack]

realizing i have a LOT of symptoms of ocd (not saying I have ocd just that I have a lot of experiences and issues that coincide with it) and it finally clicking why my relationship with this website has been so godawful. not going to elaborate but iykyk

[ghostlightfic]

how i feel immediately after adding like 3 more paragraphs of intrusive thought hell to a chapter and i look back at it like this

[videogayymer]

*wakes up from a nap* Simon "Ghost" Riley battles with intrusive thoughts and on very bad days he locks himself in his room and avoids anyone in fear of him actually doing something to someone. But Ghost can't avoid Soap, who has already noticed something is off because he hasn't seen him all day. So Soap knocks on Ghost's door asking if he's okay but all he gets is a "piss off" for an answer. So he tries harder and eventually Ghost gives up thinking that Soap only needs to see him to know he's okay. As soon as Ghost opens his door, Soap runs inside and won't leave until Ghost tells him the truth. Ghost gives up and tells him what's going on. Soap's not familiar with intrusive thoughts but he listens patiently. And he's there for Ghost. In the end Soap insists that Ghost comes to him during these bad days and they'll do something to help him think of anything else SEND POST *goes back to sleep*

[crayonurchin]

Haven't posted about Gender OCD in a while because I realised I was using writing about it as a compulsion against the obsession.

It was a bit shit feeling to not do that compulsion gotta be honest and it's definitely still not 'gone', cuz OCD obsessions never rally go away, they just become manageable. Sometimes so manageable, you forget they're there

Anyway I found joy in my anatomy and worn petticoats under my dresses to make them fluffy and I might get some pink in my hair if I feel like it, and it was hot today so I spent time in the sunshine sketching while wearing my favourite dress with lemons on it.

So

Yeah

When it feels like OCD isn't ever going to let up, don't believe it, because there's quite a good chance it will in time

[surumarssi]

I think "alienation" is one of the only complex feelings where it actually helps me to notice it and name it. When I'm like "oh why do I feel so bad I just feel a disconnect from other people for some oddly specific reason" and the ghost of Karl Marx appears in my kitchen

[wallboys]

jon crazy girl moments

[brittlebutch]

tic disorders are so Fun bc they are So comorbid with like. autism and ocd. and they are So fucking transmissible. watching YT vids with a guy who happens to have an eye blink tic and Whoops! picked it right up. and so the whole comorbid thing it’s like a petri dish of “Oh so you’re faking all this shit for attention then? you see someone else do it you do it?? bitch???” intrusive thoughts. and tics are different from compulsions but the stress of intrusive thoughts can also make tics worse which turns the whole thing into a perpetual motion machine. and so i get to chase that tail all over again now and i’m also stuck blinking a weird new way i wasn’t doing last week. gotta love it!!

[syn4k]

sorry dude i'd love to hang this evening but i'm busy. yeah i'm gonna be fistfighting my demons it's gonna be an all night thing

[afniel]

I don't really talk about The Intrusive Thoughts because why give them the time of day, they're just thoughts, but watching my partner do a Dark Urge playthrough of BG3 is like watching a simulator of what the inside is my head is like sometimes, just in reality I don't have to actually worry about blanking out and doing any of that shit because that's not how it works.

Also and relatedly, as much as I wish people didn't think intrusive thoughts were all fun and quirky, I do sometimes get the garden-variety "I could eat these leaves! I could break all the dishes! I could throw my phone into the ocean!" type stupid shit. They're just interspersed with "I'm tired of hearing this guy talking. I could go apeshit and peel his skin off like a peach!" which is not quirky or fun. But the silly ones do happen too. It's not actually unrealistic to portray those as they are, just it's important to know that they're not the complete picture.

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

are they really not continuing with the good lawyer??? come onnn, look at how Kennedy McMann acted in that episode, that one episode reminded me of so many childhood tv shows, and I mean look at her and Felicity Huffman?

and you mean to tell me I wont be seeing more of them? i mean her immersion to the scenes, and huffman's 5 thousand stunt which was so iconic....

[bat-connoisseur]

Gonna be going off tumblr for a lil' while, its been having a genuinley negative impact on my mental health which is awesome and while usually I can deal with it it's been worse than usual. I dont wanna make a thing of it I'm just mentioning because I don't want any of my friends on here to be concerned on the off chance I'm gone for a while. Uhh maybe I'll manifest to post art or something? And I'll still be on discord n' my other socials and stuff. Comms will stay open too and the bat blog's queue will continue to run until it runs out and hopefully I'll be back before then. thumbs up !