#I have a thing for people who've been hurt apparently lol

[chibitorra]

I usually never share my writing, but I really wanted to write a story based on the bizarre situation I’ve found myself in irl with someone I love that seems to have a lot of similarities to Charles’ past.

For context, irl I have the same name and similar appearance to his ex-wife, who he found out cheated on him. So, I’m doing the same with my farmer insert and Charles. Obviously, my name isn’t Taylor, but I wanted to give my farmer insert a gender mutual name, since it seems they’re trying to keep Charles’ ex gender neutral. 

It would be really cool if they wrote Charles a bit more scared when things start getting romantic... actually focus on the trust issues and trauma he probably has from having his trust betrayed by someone he loved. And his fear that it’ll happen again. He starts to get there when he talks about how lonely he is in the winter, but I guess we’ll see when the new heart events get released. 

Anyways, here’s a snippet of a story I’m calling Kintsugi Hearts. If you don’t know what Kintsugi is, look it up, it’s really cool. 

Taylor peered in the glass doors of the doctor’s office, and her heart sank when she saw the front desk was empty. Sure, sometimes Charles left the office to get some fresh air, or even get his hair worked on next door, but the fact that he wouldn’t talk to her last night… well, it made her worry to say the least. Taking a deep breath, she pushed in the door as the familiar chime of the bell sounded.

“Just a second, I’ll be right with you!” she heard Yuri call out from the back, but no Charles. She approached the counter and glanced at his computer, which didn’t even appear to be on. Her heart sank further.

Finally, Yuri popped her head around the corner to see who was visiting their humble office, and her face brightened when she gazed upon Taylor. There was something off about her smile though, she noted, like she was feigning her warm exterior.

“Taylor, hello! Here for some more vitamins?”

Taylor rubbed her arm nervously. If she didn’t know about her crush on Charles, she was about to figure it out. “N-no… I actually came here to see Charles. Is he in?” she asked her.

Yuri’s face fell for half a second, something Taylor would have missed if she had blinked, before lighting up again in that false smile.

“Sorry, Charles is out today, he wasn’t feeling well… Pollen n’ all, y’know?”

Taylor sighed. Of course. “It’s always something,” she muttered half under her breath. If it wasn’t his stomach, it was his damn pollen allergy, or his bad back, or… something. It was always something. He was avoiding her, and she wished she knew why.

“Why don’t you come back tomorrow? I’m sure he’ll be back in by then,” Yuri offered. Taylor shrugged, knowing her disappointment was showing on her face. “Okay.”

She turned to leave, when something peculiar caught her attention, making her pause. The small desk calendar Charles kept next to his computer was still in April. That’s odd, she thought, with it already being the 10th of May. Charles was usually really good about keeping up with the calendar. Yuri took notice of her pause, and tilted her head.

“Is something the matter?”

“Oh—Sorry, it just looks like Charles forgot to change the calendar, that’s all. I can fix it.”

Yuri was eerily quiet, and this time she didn’t even try to hide the gloom on her face. Taylor reached over and flipped the page over to May, and suddenly a lot of things made sense. She realized with a jolt why he never responded last night, why he always seems so wishy-washy as of late… why he hated springtime.

It wasn’t about the pollen. It never was, she realized as she gazed upon the hastily scribbled words over the current date… words which had also been scribbled out in red ink.

“May 10th. Anniversary.”

[tellywoodtrash]

Hey TT! Firstly, this is kind of a deep question so feel free to take as long as you need to answer this.. I have been burned by love badly and that made me want to turn off the attraction I feel towards men (and it hasn’t been super successful), but the experience made me think that it would be better if I were asexual cause I now think that the whole concept of romantic relationships is absurd since I have seen so many people (including myself) suffer from it. This may come access as ignorant and please know that I have no intention of disrespecting the asexual community, but I just want to hear your perspective on this. Do you think it’s possible to change one’s sexuality and become aromantic or asexual at will (as in, does it happen because of certain experiences), or are people born that way? Again, I would like to apologize if this offends anyone. But I only asked this because the guy I loved was one of the worst human beings in the world and traumatized me beyond belief and made me question everything (as men do apparently 🥲). Thanks in advance for reading my question ☺️

Hi anon!

First off, big big hugs.

Secondly, are you me? Lol. I can't tell you the amount of times I've bemoaned my attraction to men. People who've been long time followers certainly have read a lotttttttttt of me whining about it.

While sexuality certainly is a spectrum, unfortunately, I don't think we can "turn" into something we're not. What you're feeling right now is a result of something traumatic that you went through; this is a reaction to the hurt, and this is your brain wanting to protect yourself from it ever happening to you again. And that's a perfectly valid response. But by changing yourself into something you're intrinsically not, you're not going to be any happier. Because deep inside, you'd know that this isn't your most authentic self.

What you can do, is keep yourself open to growth. Like I said, sexuality is a spectrum. A lot of us THINK we're 100% heterosexual purely because that's what we've been shown is the norm. And I simply don't think that's true. There's a lot of orientations and preferences and identities out there that we simply lack knowledge and vocabulary of, because we just haven't been taught this stuff in a conservative educational setup. I'd encourage you to do your own research and learn about what else is out there, and maybe you'll find that you're not what you've labelled yourself so far!

Another thing; just because you ARE attracted to men, doesn't mean that you have to end up with one, no other end in sight. I can give you my own example. I am attracted to men, but have decided to be single for all foreseeable future. I just don't see any value a romantic relationship would add to my life. I am financially independent (to the level a Millennial can be in the current economy hahahahaha *sob weep sniff*), I have the relationships (familial and friendships) that I foster and cherish and nurture, and focus all my energies on what's best for me. And you know what? It's a pretty good life. It's not the one I envisioned growing up (purely because I didn't know this was an option) but now that I'm living it, I can't see myself living any other way. You don't NEED to have a romantic relationship if you don't want to. It's a fun bonus, not something mandatory; that without it, you'll never find peace and happiness. All you need to be is secure in YOURSELF as a person. That comes from introspection and constantly evaluating what works best for you at the time. It's about personal growth; nothing is set in stone, you're always allowed to change your mind and pursue other things!

I hope my words made you feel a little better, and soothed your heart. I am sending you alllllllllll the healing vibes and love and light I have. 🤗✨✨✨

[patchun]

WBaWC Deep Dive: Part 1/2

Lots of philosophical ideas are presented and explored in this game. In this post I aim to point them out. ZUN stated this in his SCooW interview:

"There isn't any sort of obvious theme to the story this time. It's mainly just an introduction of "there's a world like this out there". There's a variety of things going into that world, particularly satire, but if you ask what the work wants to show you, there isn't much in particular. "Here's this world called the Animal Realm, and here's these various elements spread throughout it."

And after doing a ton of digging... yeah, I think he's right. I was kind of hoping there would be something unintentional, but because the perspectives of the human and beast spirits aren't really shown, and only the spirits of their rulers, taking an actual message away from this game is very difficult. That said, I feel with this game more than any other, it's very easy to identify why certain decisions were made. Why is the first boss a stillborn child? Isn't that pretty random? No, let's look into it.

The story this time is quite complicated, so you may not be able to see the whole picture if you just play as one character. To be fair, you may not be able to do so even if you clear them all. (lol)

This will obviously be based on my own interpretation. Long post ahead.

Eika Ebisu. The soul of a stillborn child, and a master of stacking stones. Importantly:

She and the rest of the stillborn child spirits at Sai no Kawara stack stones as work every day. They stack stones as work, in Shinto mythology this is as repentance - because they brought sorrow to their parents by dying too early. Kind of morbidly amusing, I guess, but ZUN makes it a point to say this:

She's also a god of fortune who's able to change simple, pointless work into something that's enjoyable and worth doing, and who can make the best out of any bad situation.

Her ever-cheery demeanor, bright intellect, and penchant for constantly holding exciting new events like stone-stacking contests makes her the Sai no Kawara's resident idol, beloved by all the children's spirits there.

With the spirits of stillborns, yes. I feel like it's more hopeful to portray them as having fun in the afterlife, you know?

Being a god of fortune, Eika is able to make stone stacking FUN. The simple labor of stacking stones for these kids is no longer labor for repentance, but a game, thanks to her (NOTE: labor.) For that reason she is the resident "idol". She is probably the most healthy idol in the game, according to the ideology ZUN seems to be presenting, but we'll get into that later. There's more to this character.

In philosophical discussions of animal rights, when we ask "what is it that makes humans worthy of moral rights", we try to find a criteria. Something that humans have that nothing else does. That criteria then needs to be defended as being a good reason for humans to have moral rights. Used to, sentience was the argument made for human uniqueness. Humans are sentient and conscious, while animals are, in Descartes' scummy terms (sorry, I hate Descartes) "mere automata". We worked on this assumption from that idiot for years, but recently it has been scientifically proven that animals, at LEAST mammals, birds, crustaceans, cephalopods, and reptiles, are sentient, and it is summarized in a document called the Cambridge Declaration of Consciousness.

So this proves a problem for those who believe animals aren't worthy of moral rights. So then, what else do humans have that animals don't? Why are we special in deserving moral rights? Well, that would be our intelligence, right! Even the smartest animals are only about as smart as a five year old (this is not actually true but let's just pretend it is, they're smarter). But then, if intelligence is the criteria for moral rights, then what exactly is the system here? Does that mean that children are less worthy of moral rights than adults because they aren't as intelligent? Does this mean that people who mentally disabled and not viewed as "intelligent" by parts of the populace should be less deserving of moral treatment?

This has been a veryyy simplified summary of the discussion, but here's where it gets even more interesting. You see, here, two controversial ethical topics meet - abortion and animal rights. Because if you want to argue that sentience OR intelligence are the criteria for moral rights, then in either case, early fetuses absolutely do not have moral rights! This is a problem for anti-abortion arguers, which is a funny intersection in my opinion. I bring this up because, of course, while Eika is not an aborted fetus as far as I know, she is still a fetus. She is quite out of place in a game where the rest of the opponents up to Keiki are animal spirits, right? But no, the fetus and children in general actually have a very philosophically interesting place in animal rights discussions, because oftentimes to argue that animals are not deserving of moral rights you also have to take away the moral rights of children. In case this whole thing has left you confused, the side I took was that sentience IS the criteria for moral rights, meaning both animals and children have moral rights, while fetuses don't.

Now, what does Eika tell us about this? Well, nothing. Just that ZUN seems to have thought about it, really. But there are two keywords that apply broadly to WBaWC as a whole when talking about Eika:

Labor

Moral value

So let's continue.

Urumi Ushizaki. Seeing a farm animal after a stillborn child really set off some alarms. Her name translates to "moist beauty". Not sure I needed to know that, but I came across it in my research so now you do too.

She carries a stone carving of a baby. Once she gives the baby to someone to hold, she makes it heavier and submerges them in the river. She was an awe-inspiring youkai who took advantage of humans' kindness. However, since she's forbidden to attack humans in Gensokyo, she currently runs a fishery at the Sanzu River.

If one tries to cross the river without a shinigami's permission, they'll be attacked by creatures like extinct giant fish and plesiosaurs. Nowadays, she spends her time domesticating those giant fish, and makes a living wage by sometimes selling them in Gensokyo.

A baby then a cow with a baby. Urumi is the "Parental Guardian of Ancient Fish". She apparently domesticates them and makes a living wage (interesting terminology?) sometimes selling them to Gensokyo. But, it's implied that as a fisher, she actually cares about these fish. In Reimu (Wolf)'s story:

Reimu: I'm fine, thanks. If it's just fish I'll have to deal with, I'll filet 'em no problem.

Urumi: That so? Fine by me, then. I won't hold back when I turn you into food for my beloved ancient fish!

When Reimu threatens her fish, Urumi gets defensive. She refers to her fish as "beloved" and suggests valuing them over the protagonist, even though she isn't supposed to attack humans. In the SCooW interview, ZUN is asked, more or less, what's up with the fish in the Sanzu river? He responds:

It's full of fish that died, or went extinct. They can't go to Hell or the Netherworld after they die, you see... since fish and insects are in a bit of a separate category, the way I think about it.

So, remember that distinction we made earlier when talking about Ebisu? How the animals that have been proven to be sentient are mammals, birds, reptiles (cephalopods, crustaceans)? That excludes fish and insects, and here, ZUN makes that distinction as well. Fish sentience is still pretty up in the air at the moment. But that said, if there's any unintentional message in WBaWC, I suppose it would be here.

The fact that Urumi is able to domesticate these ancient fish in the first place implies a certain degree of sentience, and moreso, even without that, Urumi pretty clearly ascribes moral value to her fish in Reimu (Wolf)! In almost all routes, she defends her fish and suggests she'll feed the protagonist to them, but Reimu(Wolf) makes it the most clear that she actually cares about them. Which, when you think about it, of course you'll care about the things you domesticate.

Also Urumi's design is so cool and yet no one draws her anymore. Justice for Moist Beauty. There is more to be said about the livestock theme of this character, but we'll get back to that when we talk about Yachie's profile.

Kuwaka Niwatari.

Her true identity is that of Niwatarijin, the god of wild chickens from before they were domesticated. People tend to think of chickens as being sort of weak and cowardly, but she's a polite and just god who values equality and altruism above all. She's quietly considering what she can do to help raise the status of chickens, who've been reduced to a food source for humans.

If you've been following along so far, you probably understand already where this is going. A few words may stand out here. Domestication, equality and altruism above all, status, and "food source for humans."

Kutaka is probably the blatantly nicest character in WBaWC, who tests you because she's worried that if you go further, you'll be hurt (after winning, of course, the protagonists insult her). There's not just a ton to say about Kutaka's character itself, but there is this tidbit in ZUN's interview:

Chickens don't usually have a very positive image attached to them. Calling someone a "chicken" certainly doesn't make them sound strong either, right? And the only other common impression of them is as food, so I tried to give her a dignified feeling.

So, ZUN has deliberately designed Kutaka to be dignified, noted that she is a character who values equality and altruism, and included that one of her motivations is to raise the status of chickens who have been "reduced to a food source for humans." What's fascinating is that by creating Kutaka this way, he has given us a message - ZUN believes, to a degree, that Kutaka's motivation is a just one. Kutaka is intended TO raise the status of chickens. So let me say this. To those of you who made fucking chicken wing jokes after this character was revealed:

STOP. FUCK YOU. STOP.

If you'd like to repent, you can start by stacking stones. Trust me, it's fun!

Now, all of this is cool, but part 2 is where it's going to get interesting - when we finally get to Yachie's profile, the description of the "Animal Realm" of Hell. I'm excited, but I need to make dinner. Part 2 coming soon.

[angeloncewas]

Okay, I won't look at what he said specifically because it's 3:30AM and I have better things to do with my time (like sleep, I probably should sleep) but since your anons sometimes give their opinions on the discourse, I wanted to give mine. Specially because hey it's about minorities I'm actually a part of this time.

Like the fat stuff, whatever he said I'm pretty sure me or someone on my family a hundred percent has heard worse, so I particularly don't care, it kinda sucks, but I never felt uncomfortable on his streams before, and all things considered (specially the fact that apparently it's kinda old stuff) he has done enough good things towards the community that I think I can afford to ignore this one bad thing, but I'm only one person so if you're hurt for what he said, I'm genuinely sorry.

And about the SH joke, I didn't look into it because the last thing I need is getting triggered when I'm sleep deprived, but if I cut off all people who've made SH jokes I'd mostly likely end up with no friends, for some people it's a way to cope, I dont know his past, and to pull a Ludwig, he's not my friend, I don't feel entitled enough to ask about my friends' trauma, imagine feeling entitled to the trauma of a cc, because of one joke.

But it's good to know what he did tho, for a second I thought it would be something a hundred times worse than what it was(tired brain will always assume the worst.), so I'm glad that it's something I can actually speak on, and not be that bothered about.

(Also on a completely unrelated note, do you do anon tags? I've sent like at least 5 anons today/yesterday, and I would like you to know when it's me lol)

You probably should sleep :< (/lh) Your opinion is always welcome though !

I agree with the fat stuff (as someone who has seen the comments). I'm just one person too, but it really feels like pointing at one tiny issue in the sea of his positive impact on the community and while that doesn't mean people have to ignore it, it does make it a bit... questionable? that people dug it up from the past to argue about it.

We're pulling Ludwigs all day today lol. You're very right though, I'm in a similar boat regarding SH jokes and honestly most people I know who did that turned out to have some level of personal experience with it. That's not always the case and there are jokes that are actively harmful, but in this case we (we as a fanbase, I mean, not you and I) are really edging on stripping away a person's privacy and theoretical coping mechanisms for our personal comfort. That's just not the way to go about things.

Whenever I find out that someone's "been cancelled," I always jump to the worst, so it is almost a relief to hear that it's not something super out there. Sleep deprivation is a bitch though, remember to try and take care of yourself best you can !!

(+ yes I do ! I just don't have many who identify themselves. If you give me a name/emoji/some kind of indicator, it'll be yours from then on :D)