#I have all the info obviously I just don't wanna imagine dealing with all the transphobic assholes

[rayofmisfortune]

About pre-virus ruin, ye, I suppose that's true. Thinking about it more, I do hope the showrunners keep it that way. Something about seeing them at their silliest and then getting the massive WHIPLASH after seeing them like THIS is... it's sad. I like to think we witnessed two character deaths that video. It's just that one started dying 50 years ago :') (l like to imagine their silliness originated from somewhere at least and was not all made up. A remnant from simpler times...) (1/10)

Aaaaah yea! And... if they end up giving us a backstory of them... I just reaaally want to see how they were dealing with the virus and adjusting to everyone around them being infected... I doubt it was easy on them qwq (no we're not writing that (i wanna) we already have a gazzilion unfinished projects glaring @ us)

I- wow I kinda forgot my stuff is on there jfjfjf AH I'M GLAD YA LIKED THEM! :3 I have a lot more in my drafts and as wips- well obviously it's not posted anywhere hehe

Well... hmmm if anyone WERE to fill in Jack in on the... news... i... i feel like he wouldn't take it well. "Where is Solar!" Oh buddy.. oh you precious murder machine qwq (had to look up what osmosis meant haha first time seeing the word n all that)... Jack slowly piecing it together as in the process of figuring it out he also slowly becomes sentient... I'm fine mhm

Oh, yea that... that is a sound reason. They, they had their reasons. I honestly like... don't think they ENJOYED hurting people. They were just... soooo off the leash when they arrived in this dimension. Scaring the hell out of Cassie and Gregory, the constant death threats, violent games and tricks. (One to three will always live in my head... "I can help with the cutting.") Like I said in... idk in which answer honestly it's all blurring together lmfao fjfjfj They kept up this act for FIFTY PLUS YEARS! And... they even managed to be one of their dimension's... I forgot the word but what the Ruin dimension's Monty was?? They were GOOD at their act. SO good they fooled everyone around them. Granted tho... those infected robots aren't too dreadfully hard to fool. Sun, when he was in Ruin's dimension, managed to fool one of them, convinced it he was Ruin. That robot didn't seem to posses the same level of sentience as the Ruin Monty we've seen in there (not to be confused with Ronty, rest in peace).

Fair! The lie detector video is.. really as ya said, our most reliable source of info. Even though some of the answers that were dinfed as truths were... weird.

Oooh you're right I haven't even thought of that heh. That was just silly in denial talk I suppose heh The Creators would have surely noticed... or... would they even have cared? Creators are selfish, self-centered insane geniouses... would they even care if one of their own suddenly vanished?

AHHHHH IT WOULD BE WORRYINGLY IRONIC 😭 Add onto that the very possible paraller between Cold Moon trying bring back his Sun and New Moon most likely going to drive himself to the point of shut down trying to find any signs of Solar possibly surviving... Oh my gosh I do NOT like this arc... WHY DOES EVERYTHING GO DOWN AROUND THIS TIME EVERY YEAR IT'S SO EXHAUSTING 😭

Mmm yea probably hehe We... don't really have anyone asides from Solar and Ruin to fact check this heh

[iamthestrangerinmoscow]

transition update

My last one was on Halloween, I think, and since then not that much have changed tbh, but I’ll describe it anymore.

So I have come to the point in the “diagnostic process” of F64.0 where all the alternative explanations for me identifying as a man have been ruled out and the only one that remains is that I am, in fact, a man. I’ve done karyotype testing (it’s 46 XX), EEG (normal), brain MRI (normal) and the sexologist/psychiatrist ruled out schizophrenia, personality disorders and body dysmorphic disorder.

(Btw the “diagnostic process” phrasing used to annoy the hell out of me, but now I think about it like about the scientific process. Statistically speaking it is much more likely for a person to be cis, or to be cis and have one of the problems/disorders I was tested for. However, that hypothesis has been disproved, and now we are as close to proving that I am indeed a trans man as we can be. So that makes sense.)

That doesn’t mean the process is over and I can do whatever I want. There’s still the observational period of at least six months so he can’t write me an endo referral until around late February. Also I need some tests for the endocrinologists before I can start hormones (ultrasounds, blood tests, etc). But assuming I will have all those results by the time of my first visit and they’re all good, there’s probably no reason why the endo can’t write me a prescription right then.

So assuming everything’s fine and I won’t have to wait for anything more than I need to, I might be on T in March. But I don’t wanna persuade myself of that cause shit might happen and disappointment is the worst feeling ever. Also it would actually be more convenient for me to start T in May cause then the most profound changes will happen during the summer holidays and it won’t be as awkward. But anyway.

In terms of identity, I am finally, thankfully, not questioning. At all. I am now 100% sure that I’m a trans man. Maybe not a totally binary man, but definitely a man. I really relate to how Chase Ross ids (part man, part squiggle). Like I can add a lot of adjectives at the front (queer, genderqueer, bisexual, gender non-conforming) but the operative word is still man. So that’s nice, I guess. I was so tired of questioning tbh.

In terms of my family… eh. We had one meeting with the specialist where they talked about all their concerns and stuff, and they’re all things I’ve addressed multiple times, but they only believed the guy with a medical degree. And I get it, I really do, but I am a bit pissed that they will take the words of an educated stranger over their own kid. And despite what the specialist has said they are absolutely not willing to call me a different name and pronouns. My mum said “maybe when you’ll start growing a beard” which is… ugh. Frustrating.

I am thinking about how I’m gonna come out to my grandparents and god, it’s even more complicated. My mum is saying I should present it as a medical condition, which might be easier to understand, but idk, that might do more harm than good in a sense that they could demand a different treatment for me rather than HRT. So I’m thinking I will do it once the changes are impossible to hide.

All of this is in the future, but I am, weirdly, feeling better. I’m looking forward to male puberty and all that stuff but I’m also feeling more confident in my identity and more able to deal with all the bad stuff. I might be angry at my family but I can also understand them. I might be frustrated with the wait but I also get why it is necessary. And I’m trying to live in the now and appreciate good things in life. So changes might still be far away, but I believe that I can make it.

[slimepuparibaba]

ChiLumi | Hidden Meaning

Okay, so, basically, this takes place in between the Archon missions and before Golden House.

I'm gonna leave bullet points just cuz it's easier that way and I'm so bad at writing. I might make a fic of it later though if enough people want me to XD

There might be some additional parts to this too cuz I wanna put in detail how the Golden House fight went down, how Childe's story mission worked, and every other ChiLumi headcanon after that so yeah.

They may be a bit OOC but this is how I imagine it playing out

So we're clear, Childe has used his charms to woo over many to gain information for the Fatui. He sees Lumine slightly falling for him so he decides to use this to his advantage no one tell the boy he is in love yet, he refuses to believe it

Childe invites Lumine out to run some errands around Liyue. His excuse? The group is running out of food and needs to cook up some more stuff for their future adventures.

His conditions? Everyone else must stay behind, including Paimon. Paimon says no to this, obviously, since she hasn't left Lumine's side.

Lumine, however, says yes.

Most of the team is heavily against this outing, but Kaeya, Barbara, Chongyun, and Xiangling seem to be on Lumine's side, letting her go and convince the rest to let Childe and Lumine do as they please. (Side note: Kaeya and Barbara are huge playing factors in this entire ChiLumi saga)

Childe and Lumine start wandering around Liyue and stop by the beach, where Lumine starts picking up some starconches behind Childe's back

She hands it over and says it's a gift for him. When he asks why, she says she wants to try and convince Childe to join them on their adventure.

Lumine isn't dumb; she knew Childe did this to try and squeeze info out of her, hence why she accepted. However, she decided that she wants to try and convince Childe to leave the Fatui and switch sides.

Childe isn't convinced, obviously, and says that he is her enemy--she can't expect him to switch sides that easily, could she? Especially not when he's made it clear that he, Tartaglia, the 11th Harbinger, wants to conquer the world!

Lumine, however, begs to differ

"How about we make a deal?" She asks. "I'll take you sightseeing around Liyue Harbor while we run errands. I want you to take a good look this time and see the people of Liyue not as people you collect debt from, not as people you need to defeat, nor as people you need to conquer. I want you to see the as people with families and lives, living their days out peacefully... as your average human being, like you or me. If you can do that, at least consider leaving the Fatui, okay?"

Childe scoffs, saying that he'll only take the deal because he knows it won't work. Lumine shoves the starconch into his hands and pulls him along, smiling sweetly. His heart slightly flutters but this stupid idiot thinks the world is black and white and he can't be in love with the enemy so he ignores it.

Lumine starts heading to some stalls and buying some food, sharing it with Childe. He states that he's already done this before, but she wants him to experience it from a different point of view. She leads him to Wanmin Restaraunt and the two feast.

Childe doesn't know why, but for some reason, the food tastes a bit better than when he tasted it the first time he came to Liyue. He looks to Lumine, who's enjoying every bite, and softly smiles.

After paying, she continues dragging him everywhere. To drink tea, to hear stories, or to even watch kids fly kites (and even convince him to fly a kite with her)

Then, they get to the middle of Yujing Terrace

Childe was having a great time so far and was almost forgetting that he was supposed to be dragging out information from her, but when they got to the scene where the Exuvia was supposed to be, where the crime scene had taken place days earlier, he remembered that he was a Fatui. What was he doing, having fun without getting his job done? He needed to get that Gnosis, after all, from Rex Lapis' corpse.

Lumine leads him to one of the altars and says that even if the Rite of Decension is no more, she still wants to make a wish with him. Childe is amused that she would do such a thing and agrees.

She lights the incense stick and lights the altar, making her wish. Childe starts to question her.

"Y'know... I would like to know what you wished for, Oujo-chan. Convince me that the Tsaritsa is wrong about this whole thing... that the world shouldn't be our enemy and that there's still hope."

Childe was expecting Lumine to turn him down, but she answered with her wish.

"...I want to be reunited with someone special to me. We were always attached to the hip whenever we traveled together, and even if we parted ways, I knew where to meet him. I knew where to go. But I lost him... and I'm so scared. I wake up in the middle of the night because I keep seeing nightmares where he walks away from me and I can never reach him."

She has a sad look in her eyes as she keeps continuing.

"If anything, I just want to see him again and know he's safe... and, along the way, maybe gather up more friends. I want to have the people of Teyvat united and happy together... if I can gather more people together, I'd like that... we can go hunt for treasure, solve puzzles, discover ruins, fight ruins... all while trying to find our own goals, we can come together, as a family."

Childe smiled at her answer, and when Lumine asked what he wished for, he hesitantly answered. He began to murmur, searching for the right words, but all he could come up with was the answer he knew all around him expected from him.

"...to become stronger and... conquer the world...?"

He sounded unsure, because he was. Lumine didn't pick up on that and just laughed, saying that sounded so like him. But, truth was, he was conflicted on his wish.

In truth, he wanted a resolve like Lumine.

He wished someone would tell him that he doesn't need to constantly fight and bring chaos.

He wished someone would treat him as a friend, or even as family, unlike the Fatui, who either despised him with their entire being or feared him, whether out of respect or their sheer will to survive in the Fatui.

He wished someone would tell him it's okay to feel vulnerable--that the world was okay, and that he can live as a person. Not as a Harbinger, not as a Fatui...

He wished someone would tell him that he can protect those he loves without constantly destroying others who are loved by their own families.

He looked to Lumine, who started gazing at the stars above and realized one thing and one thing only:

He wished that Lumine would tell him that he isn't alone anymore.

The next day, when Lumine woke up, Childe handed her a bouquet of Windwheel Asters.

When Lumine asked why, Childe brushed it off as telling her to get stronger for their upcoming battle.

Deep inside, though, those weren't Childe's true intentions. In fact, what he meant to say was this:

"When that fateful day comes, beat me... make me change sides. Become so strong that I have no choice but to listen to you."

"Prove to me that I'm a monster worth saving."

my heart aches for these two, because childe in this entire storyline is literally trying to convince himself that he can't switch sides and he's already gone too far deep to be saved

honey plz lumine is trying to show u that you're just like anyone else. you don't need to conquer the world to protect those you love oh my gOD

[jungshookz]

Kinda wanted to talk to you because idk what I should do? There’s this guy I’ve known since middle school that I’ve always kind of casually talked to. We have a lot of the same interests like anime and movies and stuff like that. We usually end up talking once every couple months then go back to ignoring each other. What happens is that he’ll ask to FaceTime and watch something together and I agree, then after that I don’t want to FaceTime him anymore. He always asks to FaceTime then I tell him I’m busy which then ends up with me ignoring him. I feel bad for ignoring him but also sometimes he’ll be kind of condescending and I don’t really like it? I like to have playful moments with him but when he starts to act like he knows better than me that’s when I start ignoring him. He usually tries to talk to me again after like 2 months but he hasn’t texted me for a couple months and now I feel like he just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. What is annoying is that Ik he talks to other girls, and he’s even sent me screenshots of him texting another girl while blacking out the girls name. My friends also think that he’s like the lowest of the low, and if I ever tell them that I like him they’d flip their shit. So idk what to do because out of all the guys around me, he’s the only one that I keep thinking about and I don’t really know if I want to date him because of how my friends would treat me and because he talks to other girls. Also he probably thinks I don’t want to talk to him or after I’ve ignored him he probably just forgot about me. I honestly don’t know what to do? Like I want to talk to him because he’s the only person that has almost all the same interests as me and I like talking to him. And I still like him which is weird but idk if I would actually date him? Which is why I’m asking what to do. I’m open to other people also responding because like I don’t know if I want to start this cycle over again??

i'm totally kidding here r some words

i’ve said this before and obviously this isn’t new mind-blowing information or anything but it just sounds like this situation needs a vERY healthy dose of communication like!! he asks to call even though you don’t like it (i got your shorter message as well so i’m just going to pluck some info from there) you agree to facetime with him.,., but you actually hate it the entire time.., and then you tell him you’re busy to avoid facetiming with him even more,.,. and then you’re the one who ignores him,.., and sometimes he’s condescending which is not very pleasant so you ignore him even more.,., and now i think what you’re saying (if i’m understanding correctly) is that you’re upset because he hasn’t texted you in a while and when you guys do talk he’s sending you screenshots of his conversations with other girls.,., usually i am always on your guys’ side when it comes to sticky situations but this time i think i have to kick ur butt a little!! honestly i am scratching my head a bit trying to figure out what it is you want out of this situation because it’s like you wanna date him but you don’t wanna date him and you like talking to him but you also don’t like talking to him and you don't like that he's sending you conversations he's had with other girls but you haven't actually expressed to him that you might be interested in him so really it's kind of a mess

i myself am not a fan of facetiming at ALL so i totally understand how you feel but this boy doesn’t know how you feel!! all he knows is that every time he wants to call you you tell him you’re busy and then you end up noT calling him at all so i think u.,,. can kind of imagine how that would distance him from you, right? so i don’t know if we can blame him for not texting you for a couple months because he might be feeling like you’re the one who isn’t interested and you also don’t really want to stay in touch.,.,.

also with the whole condescending thing honestly the way i deal with snooty know-it-alls is i either try to shift the conversation to something else before something mean accidentally comes out of my mouth lolz

i’m reading over my response and realising i sound a little more meanie beanie than usual but sometimes tough love is needed to screw your head on straight so please get out of here and COMMUNICATE!! i can't just tell you what to do because at the end of the day you know yourself more than i do but what i will strongly suggest is to just sit down and have an honest conversation with this guy and i promise from that point on things will be much muCh easier to handle

<3

[mxtcha-tea]

[g ｕｉｄｅｌｉｎｅｓ　運ダゴ]

✕ PLEASE READ ALL OF THE RULES BEFORE REQUESTING OR SO ON. THIS IS TO AVOID PROBLEMS AND TO RUN THE BLOG SMOOTHLY. thank you :) ✕

—i don't really accept requests for this blog but when the request box is open, you're free to order whatever you want

✎but if my mind can't process more than a few scenarios for the request, it will be short.

✎i've decided to make this blog mostly self indulgent because i don't work well under stress, hope you understand :).

✎HOWEVER, as much as i would love to hear your requests, there's a limit on how many you can request so first come first serve.

—if you want to request something, make it ~unique~

✎i've seen a lot of writings that had already been writen over and over again, and i thought, "why not try something new?"

✎don't worry, i still take the normal requests but as i said just now, it'll be short.

—DO NOT STEAL/PLAGIARIZE MY WORKS

✎please just don't, you'll prolly get no benefit from it.

✎this includes either plagiarize, translate or repost in other platforms.

—as i said in my old blog, DO NOT SPAM REQUESTS

✎i'll put a list of what i have to write on the nav (requested and not).

✎if some of it are requested, i'll write who requested it (whether it's off or on anon).

—please specify the request

✎includes things such as gender, format, or others

—what do i write?

✎crack (obviously my favourite)

✎fluff

✎angst

✎horrors/dark fic (but without the other dark stuffs, will list down below)

✎hurt/comfort

✎anything that's bearable to me

—what do i don't write?

✎r*cist/p*do/inc*st/sexist contents

✎shaming in every way possible (race, religion, skin, body figure, disability, etc)

✎NSFW (only a few suggestive contents but other than just that is a no-no)

✎duncons/noncons/yandere themed

✎alpha/omega/beta things (it always been used in smuts right? even tho i don't specifically write smut, you prolly can use it for non-sexual subjects but i still don't understand it fully)

✎characters x characters (only on ao3) (watch me feel soft because of bokuaka aye—)

✎anything that i'm not comfortable writing

—who/what do i write for?

haikyuu

✎everyone lolol

jujutsu kaisen

✎itadori, sukuna, megumi, nobara, inumaki, gojo, nanamin, junpei, will add more...(i'm late to caught to the anime :'D, maybe i'll continue by the manga)

danganronpa (dr1 only) (yes, haven't finished dr2 and i can't find dr3 :'))

✎everyone except monokuma (if you like monokuma then please go see a therapist)

More to be added soon!

[r ｅｑｕｅｓｔｉｎｇ　日奥ト]

—headcanons

✎honestly no limit but if i get so self indulgent in it, i might make it into 2 separate posts or something. (limit : no limit)

—imagines

✎it can be scenarios about a few characters, teams or literally anyone. (limit : 5)

—drabbles

✎kinda short. prolly will only be the title, pairing and the drabble itself. (limit : 1 only)

—timestamps

✎the time and short story. that's all. (limit : 1 only, i think)

—songfic

✎won't post this type often. the title of the song as the title of the fic, some info about the fic and then the writings. (limit : 1 only)

—fic

✎the same kind like the song fic BUT without songs as titles and gonna add some panels *wink* *wonk*. (limit : 1 only)

—SMAU/Texts

✎title, pairings, maybe some warnings, and boom, dumb and unfunny texts B). (no limits)

[ f ｏｒｍａｔｓ　旺引や]

—not a lot for this one but no, i don't take request

✎i only take requests for small fun activity (like doodling someone as a cat hehe)

—DON'T STEAL/REPOST/TRACE MY ART

✎please don't repost it and claim it as your own, this includes posting it in other platforms even tho you credited it.

✎dm me first if you want to use it for personal use, whether you just wanna save it or use it for any occasions (includes SMAU or others and put credits)

✎don't crop out the watermark. if you're even thinking about doing it, no <3

[ d ｒａｗｉｎｇｓ　鋭ィニ]

—if you want to know me, then feel free to ask questions or ask on how i'm doing

✎i swear that i'm a friendly person, and just forget on how i act on the old blog :')

—don't talk about anything hurtful or bad

✎this includes talking r*cist, talk about p*do, talk about inc*st, or just anything that's very offending in general. i wanted to make this blog a peaceful and safe place.

✎also, read my dni and byf before interacting/following

—hate anons or hate asks or BOTH will be deleted

✎as i said just now, will make this place peaceful and won't have serious drama.

✎"but what if they attack you through dm's?"

✎well, they have to deal with the block button of course.

[ i ｎｂｏｘ　因岡ゴ]

[bow-woahh]

If you’re still doing the game, chapter 6 from the grocery store onward?

Send me your favorite scene/chapter from one of my works and I’ll post a DVD commentary on it.

ask and you shall receive!

Little bit of background info, this chapter is obviously part one of two, chapter six being it's better if I calm down, and chapter 7 being the rest of the line: it's better if I lash out. If you listened to the song full stop, you might have already known that lmao

I felt like these two chapters worked well being split into two parts (I mean imagine how long it would have been if it wasn't ... like no thank you) because of the overarching themes across them and most importantly, the plot line with her mom and the readers not knowing what's putting her on edge in chapter 6. It was so much fun to play around with and hint that there was clearly something bothering her. I think in my outline, before I found the official title this chapter was called "calm before the storm" because that truly is what it is, there's a lot of nice, fun moments, but it's clear there is something bad on the way.

Anyway, tangent over, commentary time!

They caught a bus to get to the closest grocery store, which was still a twenty minute journey away, so Catra ignored Diego for most of the ride, listening to music and texting Adora.

When I was originally outlining chapters and everything, the grocery scene wasn't planned in to this chapter (I just love giving myself more to do). I have a section in my outline document where it's kinda just a thought dump of things I want to happen possibly at some point, because I think it'd be cool or cute or whatever. This was one of those instances, and because this chapter felt a bit bare bones at first (the final product was not in the slightest) I added this in as it felt like a great way to introduce Adora and Diego and since Catra and Adora are still fairly early in their relationship here, it just worked so well, because they truly didn't expect to see each other.

“Hey, hi! I knew you said you were going shopping, but I didn’t think—well I guess it does make sense since you live in Alwyn but—”

Okay, time for context no one asked for! Bright Moon is the city they are in (obviously) and Frighton (the Fright Zone) is the neighbouring city. Bright Moon is kinda split into lower city, upper city and mid/center city (guess which kinda classes live where). Alwyn and Elberon (where Catra and Adora live respectively) are more lower city, so they are typically where poorer people live, though there are some nice places there I'm sure. Just not many.

Adora said, “Loser? Nah, Catra’s actually super cool, trust me.” She looked at Adora, properly, for the first time in a few minutes, and found her staring back at her with a fond smile.

Adora's piss poor attempt at flirting. Jk, but I do think this moment is v cute and I just love how Adora defended Catra, even though it's just her younger cousin being stupid. We love to see it.

Once again Diego beat her to it, opening the door and saying, “Sure!” before jumping out and slamming it shut.

[Context for this line: Adora asked if they needed help taking the bags out of her truck.] Honestly, Diego's really cute here. He really admires Adora and looks up to her so he's taking every possible opportunity to talk to her, and be around her.

“You know you could've left, like, ages ago, right Grayskull?"

“Yeah well,” Adora did that little shrug she always did. “I didn't mind.”

Narrowing her eyes for a moment, Catra said slowly, “Alright. Well, you can go now. And I should probably head in.”

She turned to go inside, when Adora grabbed her wrist. “Wait.”

Ahhh I love this whole section of dialogue so I had to talk about it. These two are just... useless. What I love about them, and writing them in specifically this, is the constant push and pull with them, how they can never just explicitly say whar they want, either in fear they'll be judged and rejected or because they don't even fully understand what they want to begin with. With Catra and Adora, as much as one can say something like "You should go" the other will always hesitate to, will always have something at the tip of their tongue that they're not quite saying, or like here, will literally tell them to stay, using words or otherwise. They want each other but aren't quite ready to admit it yet. And I just think that's beautiful.

Also the grabbing of the wrist and the "Wait"? Pretty sure that was an accidental reference to the "stay" scene in Taking Control but it's so ingrained into my brain I'm sure it was subconscious.

“Do you wanna get out of here?”

This line is just so... teenage romance vibes and I love it

Even though they had been talking nonstop for days now, and had seen each other just the other day, there was a palpable tension in the air, one that Catra wasn’t exactly sure how to deal with.

The said tension was definitely more on Adora's end than Catra's, because obviously, Catra is still hiding things (or more accurately, just not sharing them) and although Adora wants to pretend to be fine with it, the closer she gets, the more she wants to know what the truth is, she doesn't want to listen to the lies and rumours anymore.

Adora studied her face for a moment, before saying carefully, “Well, I, uh, have a ton of old gear I’ve been meaning to get rid of, but maybe you could ask him if he wants it? It’d be a good start.”

Catra hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “I'm sure he'd like that. I'll, uh, see what he says and get back to you.”

“Great!” Adora beamed.

Another little moment I love because Adora is just so considerate here and understands that Catra doesn't want to delve into things like money issues. She also gets Catra isn't one to accept handouts but the way she puts it isn't ‘let me help you out’ but more ‘you'd be doing me a favour’. Adora understands how she feels. She gets it.

“Why did he think you were texting your ‘boyfriend’ by the way?” Adora asked, and Catra felt her heart drop to her stomach. She hadn’t thought Adora had been paying attention to what Diego said (arguably nobody should ever pay attention to anything he says, ever) but of course she had, because once again, Catra had underestimated Adora’s observational skills.

“Because he's a stupid kid who doesn't know what he's talking about.”

Honestly Diego isn't that far from the truth he just needs to turn that 'boy' in boyfriend to girl.

Also the fact Adora is asking about this.... interesting. Catra's answer.....very defensive and also interesting. Once again they're so many unspoken words and subtext layered in all of this. It's like a tiered cake.

“That? Oh, nah. I don't—it's not really any of her business, y'know?” Catra replied, staring just past Adora’s shoulder.

Catra is replying to Adora asking whether or not Serenia knows she's a lesbian and, well, obviously what she said wasn't true. Well it was, technically, but she's ommiting the real reason. As I've already at least slightly portrayed, Catra has a complicated relationship with her sexuality, and I don't want to spoil it but that will definitely be explored more in the future, and Serenia definitely plays a part in it, being her guardian after all.

“I guess it was always kind of obvious. I never looked at guys the same way I look at girls—my first crush was some girl in like elementary, although I didn't realise at the time, and they just continued from there. I thought all girls had crushes on other girls at some point, that wishing I was a guy so I could be with them was what everyone did. When I realised they didn't, that it was weird, I spent all my time convincing myself I just wanted to be my celebrity crush and not be with them, until I actually kissed a girl for the first time. Then I couldn't exactly ignore it. I still tried to though. Especially when—well yeah, I tried to deny it for a while. But then, I guess I got tired. Of lying to myself.”

This whole paragraph is just... yes. No one has ever asked Catra how she knew, but more importantly, Catra has never wanted to answer this question, and if it were anyone else asking, she would have definitely shut it down, or answered with something short and simple. It's because it's Adora, and because she's growing more comfortable with her, to the point where she doesn't mind, even wants to share these types of details about herself. That vulnerability is even more important in chapter 7, so this was a stepping stone of sorts for her.

“So, uh, how about you? Not that I’m saying that you’re—but since you asked…” She cursed at herself internally when Adora's expression morphed into one of surprise, eyes slightly widening. 

“Oh, me? I, um—I don't really know. Is that weird? I just haven't ever really thought too much about it. I guess my main priorities are school, lacrosse, and work.”

God, it's in moments like these where I wish I wrote from Adora's perspective as well. Because there's a lot to unpack here. She's not lying when she says this, I do think this is partially how she feels. But, some could argue it's so obvious how much she likes Catra, and she's definitely admired some women before. So. I'll leave it at that because otherwise I'll say too much.

Quickly though, back to the what I said about writing in Adora's perspective... saying this here and here only because I don't know if it'll happen but I did have an idea to make a sequel of sorts, from her perspective. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

The smooth stream had been interrupted once Adora had asked if Catra's had any plans next week, with Halloween coming up. The relaxed, open demeanor that Adora had seen for the past few hours had almost instantly closed up again, and she could hardly focus on what Adora was saying anymore.

Now that Chapter 7 is out, why she reacted this way obviously makes a lot of sense, but to add more of a commentary to it, as we saw throughout this chapter she was trying her best to ignore her emotions about her mom's death anniversary because for once things were going well and therefore she had other things to focus on. Adora mentioning Halloween forced Catra to acknowledge it, along with the memories that come with her mothers death.

“Promise you won't ditch me?”

“I, Adora Grayskull, promise not to ditch you,” she said, hand on heart.

We love a good promise cameo.

“Did you really get kicked out? Of Horde High?”

Catra should have been expecting this to come up once again. It was bound to. With all the rumours. Especially when Sparkles seemed to be a fan with how she brought it up on Sunday.

I've already talked a bit about the rumours and how they arose in my chap 1 commentary, but really I wanted to talk about Glimmer here, since her scene was before the grocery scene and I have a lot to say about this one. Initially when I wrote it, the scene was a fairly quick altercation that kinda lacked a real punch, but after spending a little more time on it after my beta pointed some things out...it hit hard. I know there is a fuck Glimmer train at the moment because, yeah, Glimmer is pretty mean in that scene. And other scenes. I don't know why I love writing Glimmer as her S4 self so much, but it's fun to play around with okay? I like how she can take on an almost antagonistic role at times.

Glimmer thinks what she is doing is to the benefit of her own friend, by pointing out all of Catra's faults and the fact that she's from the Horde, but I also think there's a little jealousy there. No Glimmer doesn't like Adora, but she is quite a possessive friend, so I can't imagine she likes the fact Adora is spending so much time with someone she doesn't know, and to add to it, she's got the worst reputation in the school. So.

Catra thought back to the moment, and remembered what had provoked it, all the way back in eighth grade. “Yeah. I'd say they did.”

Exclusive for Tumblr gang only, but yes they did on fact deserve it because they called Catra the d-slur. This was during a time where she was really struggling with her sexuality so at the time, this cut deep.

As Catra lay in bed that night, she found her mind wandering back to Adora's handshake, how they had held on for just a little too long, mismatched eyes staring into blue ones. How such a casual touch had brought back that burning sensation, that need to be closer.

Ah...the handshake. There is literally no other reason for this other than the fact they are gay. This chapter along with the next are especially important for their development physically—they get a lot more comfortable touching each other in passing but at the same time they still have to find a reason to touch each other (hence the handshake). Either way, it helps break another barrier in their relationship, and this is even moreso the case in chapter 7. I don't know if you noticed, but that chapter is full of small touches and more, but they couldn't have gotten there if it wasn't for the little steps along the way.

Boy that was a long one! I hope you guys enjoyed this, I know I said chap 8 would be out soon but schools really kicking my ass, trying to find a balance is hard. Nevertheless, it will be out asap, I appreciate your patience! (:

[phoebehalliwell]

I don't really like Phole as a ship but I think Cole as a character had a lot of potential and I'm mad that it was never, at any point, handled well. so I'm curious, how would you have rewritten Cole's story so that he might still be redeemable and a character you can root for? granted, you would probably have to rewrite it from the very beginning but I'd love to hear your thoughts if you're up for it

yeah cole is like a very difficult character to work with bc in charmed evil isn’t a thing you do it’s a thing you are, and if you’re a demon, congratulations! you’re evil. But we did get brendan rowe in season one who was like a warlock but was trying to not be a warlock and again it’s this human half that is a loophole in the black and white morality clause and he got to be a good person in the end. the difference between brendan and cole was that brendan refused to take anothers life (extending this to bugs too??) and moved to become a man of the cloth to escape evil’s hold on him. cole on the other hand actively worked to surpress his human half and spent like over a hundred years being undeniably evil. so like. have you even given us a character worth redeeming? the countless lives he’s stolen and evil he’s brought to the world..... it’s a lot to undo. and that’s always really been the main source of my beef with cole is that he was undeniably a horrible person for OVER A HUNDRED YEARS. like the body count man. it’s really difficult to make him a good person. it’s really difficult. it’s not not doable, but it has to be a grueling processes and really explore who he was who he is and who he’s trying to become. when never really got much acknowledgement of any of that (who he was: belthazor. who he is: cole. there’s a difference (?) he’s in love with phoebe. who he’s trying to be: a good person so phoebe stays in love with him. it’s so surface level man it’s i don’t i don’t like it)

and like i’ve been think about demon redemption arcs a fair amount bc i definitely want to throw a demon character into my fic i’ve got my ideas and lil plans and all that but like it’s still like. really difficult to justify the taking of a human life to those sworn above all to protect it. i’m not objectively against characters who have killed people. but if you want to integrate a character who has killed people into charmed?? honey you’ve got a big storm coming. and honestly? the easiest strategy is to ignore it. chris killed a valkyrie in the s6 premiere (three valkyries??) and rather than attempt to justify the cold blooded murder of good beings, the show just ignored it. which, imo, was the best strategy for that situation (and then went on to sprinkle in him being disgusted/scared/horrified of bianca shanking a demon in chris crossed to show him sorta as this morally good figure, in hopes that we had forgotten that he had done worse. and uhh i think we all did!! i did at least). phoebe & paige are technically responsible for the death of rick the criminal, turning him into chris knowing Full Well he would be killed by demons, when they could have easily just orbed his ass back to prison. how to we deal with this? we don’t. so like, quick fix on cole’s redemption arc? cut black as cole. turn a blind eye to his past. leave it in the shadows. pretend like he’s never killed anybody. if they wanted to redeem cole this is the easiest way and in no manner stands against the moralities they have already set up. but if you wanna do it proper

cut the age gap. having cole already over 100 just leaves to much murky area. it’s also like never used in any interesting way like he never is like oh yeah [cool/important event] i was there he’s just sorta. old. for no reason. so get rid of it. just make him thirty. don’t make him an upper level demon. you can make him the son of an upper level demon so he has upper level demon qualities / powers, but having him essentially the source’s right hand man, a legendary demon and all that,, it’s just. there’s no way you hold that position without being cruel beyond words. evil in ways you can imagine. getting incredibly creative with how horrible you can truly be. you’ll never get a character like that as a “good guy”. they can be sick as fuck antiheroes or morally neutral/dubious characters, but if they’ve already committed that much evil, you can’t get them to be good. especially not charmed ones good. so like, you can have him half demon, but don’t make him a good demon. have him be raised by his human father until he’s captured and taken in by demons. he has a strong survival instinct and works to blend in with other demons, but he’s always secretly working for an escape. he’s charismatic and clever so demons like him, but they do sort of regard him as a bit of a coward, because he’s never actually killed anybody. so when he volunteers to kill the charmed ones, everyone considers it a bit of a joke. but he comes to them with a strategy. he’s human, and while that might be a weakness, it can also be a strength. he knows how to act human, he knows how they work. he can blend in, and work his way into the lives of the charmed ones like no demon ever could. so the demons are like okay. i’ll bite. but first you need to prove your mettle. kill somebody and we’ll approve your mission. and cole’s like okay bet bc he’s like i bet i can find somebody shitty and then, once i’m approved for the mission, i can actively work my way into the lives of the charmed ones and then get protection from them. and the demons are like oh lit bc we have the perfect person for you to kill and cole’s like oh uh i thought i’d just go out and kill somebody and the demons are like no need : ) we already grabbed the guy you can kill him right now : ) and cole turns around and his father is dragged in. so now we have this moral complexity because cole only wants to do this so he can be safe, so he can be human, but at the expense of his father’s life? and it’s this moral conflict and it seems like he will and then it seems like he won’t and then he looks into his father’s eyes and he seems not fear or desperation, but acceptance. and cole does it.

and now it’s more important than ever that his mission succeeds, because if he can’t gain the charmed ones favor, if he can’t gain their protection, then his father died for nothing. he killed his father for nothing. so he poses as a da, bc that’s obviously a good guy, right? he can work with the charmed ones, as a good guy, until they trust him and work with him and then he can come to them begging protection, after he’s already established himself as a someone who’s good. and he doesn’t actively seek a relationship with phoebe bc he’s worried that if he enters a relationship with a charmed one and then reveals himself as a demon, it won’t go over well. so he’s still at war with himself with his relationship with phoebe, but in the end, he caves, because he loves her.

after he reveals himself as a demon, begging himself for the charmed ones protection, prue is ready to kick his ass, because he’s a demon, and demons are intrinsically evil. they’ll to whatever it takes to achieve their goal, kill whoever they need to to get what they want. and cole sours at this because he can’t help but remember his father. he killed him to get what he wants. is prue right? but phoebe’s like no, he’s good, i know him, he’s good. but now cole’s really like, am i? and phoebe’s like i love you and i believe you and i trust you but now cole’s pulling away. and we get to see proper emotional turmoil over this and his evil act and he has to grapple with the death of his father and he has to tell phoebe what he did and then she is properly horrified but she loves him and he loves her and they commune with his father’s spirit blah blah blah his dad forgives him tells him he’s proud he made it out and he wants what’s best for him so on and so forth and then he uses his insider info on the demon world to help the charmed ones everyone lives happily ever after

[fair-fae]

You know, I'm not a drama person, I don't like it, but it came up on my dash so much that I kind of had to read it. All of that nonsense could've been avoided if you didn't even take it to the public. Judging people for THEIR characters that THEY made and can do WHATEVER the hell they want with them? Oh woo ho good job, you're so popular for taking the "barrage" of it. No. all it did was prove that you're a D-bag and I've got a nice, long list of people to block now and avoid contact with.

Okay, anon. I haven’t bothered setting the record straight with most of this shit, because I know folks like you will continue to believe what you want to believe and hear what you want to hear, just like you’re doing now. But I’ll bite. You’d think all of you getting onto your soapbox about how you shouldn’t judge or attack others wouldn’t keep talking shit about a situation you know nothing about and/or are terribly misinformed about. So I’ll enlighten you with what actually happened.

A while back, the person in question got into an argument with some people on the RPC, trying to tell them that their interpretation of the lore was wrong. Rather than leaving it at that, when he effectively got shut down there, he proceeded to take a screenshot of the conversation and post it on his tumblr, complete with a rant about the people who disagreed with him, their opinions are so wrong and awful, how dare they disagree with him, etc. essentially playing the victim when he was the one to try to badger them for their opinions in the first place. He also left their names, icons, signatures, etc. in full view.I responded and told him he probably shouldn’t be trying to harass any other people about the lore considering his own character concept (thus, you would think, making my opinion on his character pretty clear). Why? Because it’s fucking true.I don’t give a shit about the lore or whether anyone follows it. Probably every single one of my own characters at least bends the lore. But at least have the self-awareness and respect for your fellow role-players to say “yeah, my character breaks the lore” or not get your jimmies rustled every time someone says “oh, yeah, his character is lore breaking.” You wanna break the lore? Cool. Own up to it. And if you do break the lore, don’t try to force everyone else into following it–especially when you can’t even admit you break lore and instead stretch the lore to try so hard to justify your entirely lore-breaking character concept. Don’t try to heckle people for presumably doing what you do but won’t admit. Granted, these people weren’t even breaking lore anyway, which makes his insistence that they were even more ridiculous.So after some excuses about how he was trying to start some intellectual discussion or something and not just drag these people despite featuring their identities and primarily just complaining about them throughout the post, he admitted he should have at least edited out their names and apologized. Great! You’d think that should be the end of it. I didn’t have anything against him at that point, but also had no desire/reason to associate with him, so I didn’t. A couple months go by. Some post comes across my dash. A girl in the community is doxxing her online ex-boyfriend in a callout post about him for unexpectedly breaking up with her because she “thinks” he was lying to her about serious issues and “believes” he was cheating on her. Because I’m a loud and opinionated person, and because that’s some heinous thing to do, I spoke out against it (via a post on my own blog without naming names, mind you, because I’m not going to hijack someone else’s post with negativity or call them out by name). The girl found it, assumed it was about herself, flipped out, and then of course I was the bad guy for saying doxxing isn’t okay. And then the person in question joins in. Not even to discuss the topic at hand, but to dredge up the old drama about how I was so mean to him and he did nothing wrong, etc. A pretty crappy 180 turn for a person who apologized and made it seem like there were no hard feelings, but whatever. Someone saw that he obviously didn’t like me, and seized the chance to try to talk shit and spread rumors because they knew he’d give them the platform. They sent him some anon about how I hate women (lmao). And of course, he published it, with no skepticism or disagreement, only more commentary about how I’m mean and awful. I went to respond, only to find myself blocked. So I went on about my life because it’s not that big of a deal, but hey. The moment you talk shit about me, especially in a venue where I can’t respond, especially facilitating some lies and BS rumors, especially after leading me to believe we’d made amends–you aren’t off limits. You don’t get spared niceness and politeness. Is that mean and petty? Probably.¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve never claimed to be a nice person.Now, to the horrible, awful thing I did to make this “public.” Fast forward to yesterday. I’d kept my mouth shut and left him alone. In a section of the RPC that doesn’t get a ton of traffic, largely because you have to make an account on the website and then manually opt in to this specific forum, several of us were discussing an absolutely awful person which is an unrelated story I won’t get into. Someone asked something along the lines of, “Are you guys talking about Underaged Looking Allagan Voidsent Chimera Demon Guy?” I responded with basically “No, we’re not talking about Underaged Looking Allagan Voidsent Chimera Demon Guy.” And that was it. We moved on with the conversation because he wasn’t who we’d been talking about. His name, tumblr, server info, in game race, class, etc. was all never given. No identifiable information beyond a very brief and tongue-in-cheek description of his RP character comprised of words taken directly from his own wiki, tumblr info, talk of his own character and RP posts.Someone saw the conversation, and based on our intentionally shitty description, was able to accurately guess who we were talking about and send him an anon to tell him about it. You’d think that would be pretty telling about his own RP, and this anon’s interpretation of it. He answered the anon in a long rant about me that featured both my in game name and my tumblr handle. In case you need me to spell this out for you, he went public with it first. I’ll also remind you that I was blocked, so I wasn’t/couldn’t be following him, and I was not properly @tagged in this rant, so I never would have seen it unless someone told/linked me, or someone I follow eventually reblogged it. And I honestly can’t imagine the level of narcissism it takes to write a long personal post full of wangst and victim-playing every time you hear a person had something negative to say about you or your RP character (not even by name–and by picking words from his own descriptions of his character), especially a person you have had issues with in the past and who you openly shit-talked yourself prior. Who does that? Lord knows my blog would be overflowing. Not everyone will like you, especially not people you jabbed at first. Especially not with an off the wall RP concept. Especially not with you trying to pass that concept is lore abiding and just “unusual.” Especially not with you trying to tell other people they’re “wrong” about the lore. Especially not with your character being a squicky, walking fetish and immortal jailbait. And that’s not even touching other things people have told me about this person that rubbed them the wrong way. Move on with your life.However, I found out about the post thanks to the OP himself when he unblocked me just to send me the link to the post and then before I could even read/respond to the post, sent me a barrage of IM’s still playing the innocent victim which is grating enough on its own but also included him straight up lying about ever posting/saying anything about me, insisting he’d done nothing to me, had nothing against me, this was so out of the blue and uncalled for, etc. When I pointed out this wasn’t the case, that I had seen and read the posts firsthand because blocking me doesn’t prevent me from seeing his posts, he began to lie instead about the contents of said posts and pulled some gaslighting bullshit about how I had just “misread” them, all the while either willfully or coincidentally not seeming to understand anything I said to him (I mentioned him publishing the anon about how I hate women at least twice and the response was always “I never said you hate women!!” Well no shit). He kept insisting that I had “gone behind his back” and that if I had a problem I should “say it to his face” despite the fact he’d had me blocked and that I’m not a douchey enough person to try to contact him despite that, and despite the fact that he had “gone behind my back” and not “said it to my face” twice now prior, and had done just that with his post about the folks from the RPC as well.He also insisted that the tumblr post was meant just to innocently “bring the issue to my attention to clear things up” despite me having no way to see it on my own unless by coincidence, and despite him proving to be willing and able to send me IM’s instead, which you’d think could render the need for a public post moot. When I pointed this out, he promptly deleted the post, lest anyone else see through his bullshit to what he was really trying to do.After my initial response to his wall of IM’s, he sent another wall this time with more insults and accusations, and promptly blocked me so I couldn’t respond. So yes, I made a vaguepost, I know, how awful, how dare I. A vague post vague enough that only someone who had seen his post, or who heard about it from him otherwise, would know who and what it was referencing. Until he responded to it himself, that is and unblocked me again to send me more angry messages to which I responded by permanently blocking him instead because this game of blocking and unblocking sure was getting old.Cue his charming friends sweeping in to tell me to eat a dick, making false accusations against my RP partner and I, sending me threats on Discord, telling people I flashed my breasts for money, etc. And the other person? The one who brought him up in the first place who I had only been responding to? Whose name he was given, was aired in the same public post on his blog as mine? As far as I know, she hasn’t gotten any hate, probably not a single message. And I’m glad, because she shouldn’t get any, she doesn’t deserve it. But at the same time, sure seems sketchy that the person who did the same exact thing as me–and who did it first–has not provoked anyone’s ire, not even been messaged. The public post in reply to the anon who named her, even, was aimed 100% at me. Now isn’t that funny. It’s almost like this was an excuse for people who already had beef with me to try to take shots at me and pretend it was justified. It’s almost like all you anon keyboard warriors don’t even know how this started or what actually happened.And now I’m going to talk about something else. You cannot do “whatever the hell you want” with your character. RP is a two-way (or more) street. There is a real person behind each and every character. These people are looking for fun just like you, and are every bit as deserving, and your fun shouldn’t impede on theirs. We are all allowed equal parts of fun.So when people play their weird ass lolicon/shotacon/pedobait characters, who is having fun? What if the other person in the RP was sexually abused as a child and you’re dredging up terrible old memories for them and making light of their pain? What if they’re a parent worried for their child, or worse, the parent of a child who’s already been abused? What if they’re an actual pedophile and seeing you RP this is tempting them, making them think they’re desires are normal and okay? Hell, what if they’re a goddamn ordinary person who finds it creepy and uncomfortable?What if the fetishized, futa ERP avatar is interacting with someone who is trans or nonbinary or intersex IRL? What if it’s triggering them (in the genuine, real sense of the word)? What if the walking affront against the lore character talking about being an Voidsent Half-Primal Garlean Spy in the middle of the Quicksand is ruining everyone’s immersion–particularly when they refuse to play along as others respond realistically IC and try to kill them or arrest them or kick them out? What if the OP af infinitely-stronger-than-everyone-else-around-him character is making the RP unfun for every other RPer involved because their characters can’t do anything but get beaten up or bow to his whims unless they stoop to godmodding or suddenly beefing up their own character?People can and will judge your character. Those judgments are usually best left kept themselves or quietly shared between trustworthy friends. But when your character trespasses on the OOC fun of the role-players around you? Sorry, my guy, people have every right to speak up. And all this nonsense? All this nonsense was a small handful of people who were already pretty nasty showing their true colors and getting told to pipe the fuck down. A pretty good outcome, if you ask me. So, please, block me, anon. My life will be better without idiots like you in it, and the same probably goes for anyone else you intend to block. Your nameless, ignorant, anonymous presence will not be missed–or noticed, for that matter.