#I have like 2-3 other drawings of ships as bugs from a while ago. very much willing to share them when I decide to <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[great-god-bugs]

I don’t have any new bugs prepared for today so have some pattypoke bugs <3

[magic-missle-blog]

Ghost division 2 – The belly of the beast

2nd story in what will hopefully be a series. Roughly 6k words. Hope you enjoy

:readmore:

Four missiles streaked through the darkness of space from the canadation destroyer as it smashed through the human battle group.

The warship TDF Glasgow rocked as a missile impacted the hull. Point defence had taken out three others but the fourth slammed into the starboard side.

“Damage report!” the captain shouted as he swivelled his command chair to face the tactical officer.

“The hull plating is scorched and buckled, but no internal damage. We were lucky.” The tactical officer replied, shouting to be heard over the various alarms and beeps in the small bridge.

“We cant rely on luck. If we get hit again its your head!” The captain growled. His hair was cut close to his scalp and a sheen of sweat reflected in the bright yellow light on his dark skin.

Tactical officer Rotchford nodded. Her brow furrowed as she quickly typed into her console. “don’t worry I’m on it, I’ve analysed the firing pattern and I can probably take out most of the missiles, its those fucking fighters and energy weapons I cant do a thing about.”

Just as she finished speaking a swarm of small locust shaped fighters buzzed passed the ship, pelting the armour with energy weapons.

Turrets tracked the fighters, spitting hypersonic tungsten shells. One of the Canidation fighters exploded, the rest of the group took evasive action and continued on the attack run through the human fleet.

The ship rocked again and various alarms clamoured for attention. Lights on the bridge flickered.

Captain Conroy nodded and straightened his uniform. He brought up a tactical display on the console built into his chair.

Five Canidation warships had engaged the fleet of seven Terran defence force destroyers and the humans were loosing badly. The Canidations had the firepower and faster ships. Fighters swarmed over the fleet firing kinetic weapons and lasers, some with great effect.

He watched as another of the fleet exploded. That was the second ship they had lost. The battle had been raging for what felt like hours but in reality it was only 30 minutes. The Canidations had dropped out of hyperspace in this remote system to ambush a Human supply run. The freighters had escaped unharmed but the escort fleet couldn’t leave, not without leaving this Canidation battle group free reign to attack other convoys.

“Shit. That was the Newcastle!” the first officer said “Fleet captain Broadie…he was a good man”

The computer screamed out a proximity warning as another salvo of missiles streaked towards them, but true to her word the tactical officers new point defence programme took them all out. She returned fire with the main cannon as the destroyer elegantly swung around, scoring a direct hit to the Canidations engines. The insectoid ship vented atmosphere and appeared to lose power as running lights flickered out and the ship drifted

The other enemy ships moved towards the remaining fleet.

“Scan that ship, is it dead?” Conroy commanded the science officer as the warship rocked under more impacts

“yeah it appears… Fuck” the science officer said as his console went dark and the lights cut out.

A few moments later the ships emergency power kicked in and the lights came back on, but dull red colour. His console lit up. “ yeah its dead. I think. Scans are all over the place.”

Conroy nodded, as the most senior officer left in the tattered fleet he assumed command.. “signal the fleet. Lets get the fuck out of here...but slowly, I want to draw them away from that damaged ship.” He plotted a course that would take them deep into the Oort cloud of this system.

The remaining ships of the Terran defence force broke off the engagement and retreated. Caught by surprise at the sudden change in tactics, The Canidations stopped dead, recalled the fighters then followed, slowly gaining ground on the slower terran warships.

Glancing at his command console captain Conroy opened fleet wide comms. Signalling the other commanders he said “Listen up people. Once we are in that cloud drop sensor decoys try to buy me some time . I’m going to double back and capture that ship.”

The crew looked at him in astonishment

“Damn” said the first officer. “And I thought today was going to be a quiet day.”

************************************

The war against the Canidations had been raging for 3 months, and the Terran empire was losing.

The Canidations ships were more advanced, and they had the numbers. The only saving grace is that the Canidations were fighting two other larger empires. Humanity, as a relatively new race to the galactic stage, hadn’t been seen as a concern. Almost an afterthought.

No one knew why the war started. Canidations were a reclusive species. They had no trade with the wider galactic community, no embassies, no contact at all. No one really even knew if “Canidation” was their species name. They stayed in their home systems, A group of a dozen or so stars a few light years around the Canadathon, their home world.

A decade ago the Canidations has blasted out of their home system with an over powering military force and attacked a neighbouring world without warning. Everything was a viable target to them and they didn’t take prisoners…or at least they didn’t keep them alive for long.

For ten long years they attacked and destroyed any neighbouring species, expanding their empire. The first races, unused to galactic warfare on such a scale had fallen quickly. Other species had tried to build up their own military force but simply didn’t have the infrastructure in place and couldn’t come close to the Canidations speed of production. It seemed like for every Canidation ship that fell two more would take its place.

The Canidations were an insectoid race, they looked like an unholy amalgamation of a spiders body with a praying mantis torso, like an insect centaur. They didn’t seem to capture any world they won, they destroyed it. Left it a lifeless husk, took any easily accessible resources then moved on like locusts. Maybe they would be back to terraform it later, maybe not. No one knew.

The destruction on such a scale seemed senseless, and completely alien. Not even the best human generals, phycologists or philosophers could come up with a reason for this carnage.

What was known was they had a lot of ships. More than every other military in this region of space combined. They had been building up for decades and it seemed like now was the time to unleash their might.

******************************

The Glasgow had ducked behind a dwarf planet in the Oort cloud and waiting while the remaining fleet had drawn the Canidations away, then used a risky in system jump to get back quickly to the battlefield. They had scanned for survivors of the destroyed Terran ships but unfortunately found plenty of debris but no life signs.

TDF Glasgow slowly drew up alongside the crippled Canidation vessel, comms jammers at full power blocking any communication from the hulk. It had been few hours since the shot had crippled the Bug ship, but it was still drifting without any main power, its engines dark and cooling.

It looked like reserve power had kicked in and there was several Canidations on the main hull close to the breach in what looked like dark space suits, although it could have been their flesh. Conroy didn’t know enough about the species to tell. It was obvious the Canidations were trying to repair the damage.

The insectoid ship was large, at least half again as big as the Glasgow and followed an unorthodox design. It was nothing like the sleek Terran ships, whose lines were reminiscent of the war planes that fought in earth’s skies in the 20th century. Human ships were long and sleek, with swept back retractable wings protruding from the mid section to allow atmosphere flight when fully extended. Canidation was bulky, and looked like a flattened pinecone and close range scans showed it be highly modular.

The bridge appeared to be at on top of the bulky front section. Conroy guessed below this would be weapons, crew quarters and the like. Engineering and the ships drive core, and sub light engines must be located in the tapering end. Cannons clustered around the front with turrets in two rows along the top and bottom of the ship.

Conroy assumed there would be about 60 or so crew on board. Terran destroyers had a crew of 30 plus 10 marines. Not good odds Conroy thought.

“Easy to build, quick to swap different sections out if needed” Science officer McCallum said as he looked over the data.

Conroy nodded to Commander Paulson, the first office. “Pauly, get a boarding party ready. Find any intel you can get your hands on but don’t take any stupid risks. Focus on engineering, medical, ship deployments, shit we can find to kill these things.” Looking at McCallum “what do they need?”

McCallum brought up all the information he had on Canidations, which wasn’t a lot.

“Scans show gravity and life support is still active and the ship has atmosphere, although I use the term loosely. Their air is made up of 30% oxygen, 15% Co2, 10% Hydrogen sulphide, the rest is nitrogen, water vapour and trace gasses. Average temperature is roughly 30 degrees Celsius and humidity is close to 70%. Gravity is low, roughly 0.6G. So basically your walking into a hot sweaty hellhole that’ll smell like Satan’s ass. Enjoy” he finished with a laugh.

Paulson looked at the captain “Gee thanks Boss, you give me all the best jobs. Breathing units all round then.” He saluted as he left the bridge.

“Mac…what killed this ship? Did we get a lucky shot?”

McCallum looked over his reading for a few moments. “Yeah, very lucky. Looks like there is a weakness around the main engine core on this ship. Plasma exhaust has weakened the hull armour in a small area right above the main power linkage, its little better than paper. Must be a design flaw…if that shot had hit even a few meters on either side it wouldn’t have made a dent.”

Rotchford laughed. “luck had nothing to do with it. It’s pure skill.”

She grinned

Conroy rolled his eyes.

“Yeah yeah if you say so” he said grinning. Conroy didn’t mind a bit of banter with the bridge crew. He felt it build camaraderie and they all worked better as a result.

Turning to Macallum he said

“Deep scan this bitch, I see what else you can find, anything that’ll give us an edge.”

From over the other side of the bridge the tactical offer said “Captain, I think I’ve found something too. The missiles on the ship are armed.”

Conroy looked over “So?”

Rotchford brushing her brown bangs that had escaped from the severe bun on her head said “Our missiles auto arm a second after launch to prevent any accidents, these appear to pre arm before launch, Probably as soon as they find a hostile ship. Once direct hit could detonate the entire missile battery. The armour is thick but the launch tubes are vulnerable . “

“Comms” Conroy said excitedly “Tight beam the rest of the fleet and let them know what we’ve found…might give them an edge.”

Turning back to tactical

“Why would they do that?”

Rotchford shrugged. “not sure. It does mean the missiles can be fired much closer then we can shoot. Out missiles travel so fast that by the time they arm they’re a couple of hundred kilometres away, makes them useless for close engagements. By pre-arming them they get around that problem. Makes it almost impossible to shoot them down when the bugs get in close.”

Minutes passed slowly. Soon the boarding party was on board a small ship to ship shuttle and on route to dock with the crippled ship.

The shuttle did a quick fly over the damaged section and fired small arms at the Canidations working on the damaged hull, Killing the repair team. The aliens magnetic grips kept the bodies stuck to the hull like bugs splattered by a windscreen.

McCallum looked up “I’ve found something else captain, it wont help us now but I think we can take advantage of it.”

He put his display on the main screen, All eyes turned to it.

“I thought about using some kind of plasma weapon to weaken the armour of the whole ship, and that’ll probably work, we don’t use plasma tech, but I’m sure the weapons experts back home can build something.” He took a breath “Anyway, that got me thinking, Plasma is basically really hot ionized gas. Its expelled as exhausts right away as too much heat inside the ship it bad. As you know its almost impossible to loose heat in space, so we use active cooling systems to…”

Conroy interrupted before McCallum could go into a lecture on the finer points of starship heat management. “Get to the point”

Mccallum looked sheepish “Sorry sir, anyway, the Canidations seem to use radiator panels, they’re well armoured but vulnerable to excessive heat. A focussed laser beam could overload them. If they cant loose heat they’ll cook inside the ships.”

“Well done Mac, get everything we’ve found so far and bundle the data ready for transmission back to HQ”

Minutes dragged as Mccallum compiled the data.

Everyone was on eggshells, watching the boarding shuttle latch on to the Canidation hull and begin cutting through. Tactical constantly scanning for any Canidation ships that might be inbound. Conroy wondered how the rest of the fleet was fairing. The TDF ships were more manoeuvrable than the larger Canidation warships, so as long as they kept in a dense part of the Oort cloud, dodging comets and dwarf planets then the TDF ships should have an advantage.

*****************************

Inside the shuttle the atmosphere was tense. Paulson looked over the assembled combat team. All had breathing units over their lower faces. The units would filter out the harmful gasses and reduce the oxygen pressure to something breathable, but as they weren’t full space suits or fully sealed Paulson knew the stench would get through, he grinned inwardly he hadn’t told the team what the Canidation air was like, he wanted to see the reactions.

The ten member boarding team all had dark grey combat armour, and each carried a small side arm and a combat knife. Eight also carried an assault rifle with enough ammo to take on a small army, the other two combat engineers carried various tools and computer equipment. Their mission was to hack into any systems they could find and mine it for data.

The shuttle bumped into the hull and latched on. A magnetic tube made an air tight seal around the hatch. It opened to show a sold hull. The engineers immediately started cutting to gain access. It was slow going. Armour that can withstand heavy ship weapons wont easily fail to small plasma torches.

Sargent Waltham stepped up next to Paulson. “We’re ready to go” She said coolly.

Paulson nodded. “Get in and secure the area. Set up fire lines kill anything that’s got more than two legs.” He said to Waltham.

She was tall, blonde, very pretty in hard way. People, especially men, tended to underestimate her due to her looks, thinking she was just a made up barbie doll. Paulson had thought the same thing once, until she kicked his ass in hand to hand training. The first round he went easy on her and he was flat on his back in 5 seconds. The second round he went all out, and to his credit, he managed to last a full 7 seconds before she had him pined, face pressed against the floor and his left arm twisted up his back. Waltham, like all the other,s had earned her place in the combat team, but unlike the men she had to continually prove she deserved to be there. This constant striving for perfection had made her one of the best solders Paulson had ever worked with.

The thick hull armour fell inwards with a heavy thunk. The sound echoed around the shuttle. The stench of rotten eggs filler the small enclosed space and everyone wrinkled their noses.

“For fucks sake… is this ship full of farts?” Jones, the lead combat engineer said.

Paulson grinned. “Ok move out. Slow and steady, I don’t want any fuck ups.”

The team moved slowly into the alien vessel. The interior was dark, smelly and hot, lighting was a deep red that cast odd shadows. Paulson didn’t know if this was normal or if it was due to low power.

Waltham took her place first in line as the engineers cleared the hull and opened a portal to the interior of the ship. She directed one of her team , Ramerez, a young marine on his first away mission , hang back and guard the shuttle just encase they needed to make a quick exit.

Ramerez took position just inside the the shuttle door, he pulled a couple of boxes containing emergency supplies across the entrance and dug in.

The rest of the team followed her lead, with Paulson acting as rear guard, scanning the corridor behind him with a quick practiced eye.

One of the marines whispered in a low voice “damn, this is weird.”

“what is? Looks like a normal ship corridor to me” Paulson said

“sir...that’s what I mean. I expected...well dirt..or tunnels like that old movie ‘Aliens’. You know, the one where the dildo bursts out of some guys chest and all these Marines hunt it down? I mean they’re bugs for Christ’s sake..but this just looks normal.”

Paulson shook his head.“Lay off the old horror flicks. Keep it together”.

Looking at a handheld scanner Jones said “looks like there might be a room down the corridor to the right, I’m reading power spikes, it could be a place I can hack into there systems.”

The team crept inward, the low gravity giving them a bounce to their steps. They were searching for a room with a computer access, but all the could see were long featureless corridors. The came to a junction and as they passed a blast of plasma energy almost took Walthams head off. She Pulled back just in time, lightning quick reflexes saving her life. As it was the plasma shot singed her combat helmet.

Risking another blast, Waltham popped her head around then quickly pulled it back. Three Canidations waited around the corner, plasma rifles at the ready for another shot.

Pulling a flashbang from her belt she leaned out and expertly tossed he weapon into the centre of the group, a second later a loud BANG and a FLASH of bright light lit up the corridor. She could hear a smattering of legs as the Canidations fell back. Her and two of her team ran around keeping low and opened fire. The sound of the assault rifles sounded odd in the dense air. the Canidations tried to return fire but there shots went wide, scorching the metal bulkheads, obviously still blinded by the light. The skirmish was over quickly.

The team crept up slowly to the dead aliens. One in the was headless. Its body twitched, a dark yellow fluid pumping from its neck. The other two were still. Red faceted eyes that took up most of the head were dull and lifeless. Mandibles closed tighter than a vice.

Bullets had ripped the skinny top part of one in half, and the others larger thorax between the spiders-like legs was riddled and leaking the same yellow fluid.

The team looked at the corpses, they were…creepy. They unnerved the humans just looking at them. Jones knelt down and pointed something out. “Look, this one has a couple of cybernetic legs. That one has a cybernetic head…That’s so weird. Gives me the creeps.”

Paulson looked. “Why weird?”

“Think of what this means. They use medical tech to repair wounds. Replace missing limbs like we do. You don’t think of bugs caring for individuals I guess. I assumed they would be like a hive, like ants or termites just mindless soldier’s, disposable and replaceable. Maybe they’re more than that.“

One of the other marines, Patel a tall solid build man with a cold gaze said in a whisper “They’re like spiders, I fucking hate spiders. Normal spiders are bad enough but these are super sized fuckers with guns. “

He shivered as a cold chill ran down his spine. Taking one last place at the dead Canadation he walked slowly past, rifle ready for another attack.

As the team moved on one of the corpses stood up with a clatter. It swiped at a passing trooper with its upper limbs, razor sharp claws sliced across his face and chest, cutting flesh and the scoring deep cuts on his combat armour. He fell back shocked. The headless alien thrashed about, seemingly attracted to the noise the shocked humans made. It tried to reach for another one but a burst of fire from Waltham’s rifle tore through its thorax . the alien twitched again then fell back. She crept up, gun ready and kicked the corpse. No reaction. It was truly dead.

Patel looked a mess, his face had been cut to the bone, but he’d live. Two others helped bandage him up.

“fucking fuckitty fucking spiders! “ he shouted and kicked the corpse, holding his wounded face and blood soaked bandages.

“get back to the shuttle” Waltham commanded him.

He nodded, his face screwed up in pain, The bandages soaking with blood. He got to his feet and headed back the way he came.

Paulson looked at jones “What the fuck?”

Jones shrugged “I’m no medical expert, but I guess a head shot wont kill them. Maybe they keep their brains in there ass or something, I guess the head is just for eating and seeing.” Pointing to the Canidation with the cybernetic head “Maybe loosing the head for them is just like loosing an eye for us? Or maybe they’re like cockroaches. We should drag these things back to the shuttle. Medical back at HQ would have a field day.”

Paulson nodded “team, forget headshots, aim for the centre mass.” He directed a couple of team member to take the most intact body back to the shuttle “Keep it under guard…just in case”

The diminished team made there way deeper into the ship. Paulson was aware of the time he was taking, he knew The Glasgow couldn’t wait forever, but he wanted more than a few dead bugs. Soon they came across an empty room. The door was closed but a kick and a shove and it slid back into the wall. The team entered. Looking around, there was a lot of electronics that Paulson couldn’t guess the function off. Jones quickly set up his scanner. Pulling open a panel he found circuit boards. After quick scan he attached a lead from his scanner to one of the chips.

“If i can hack this, this should give me access” he worked quickly The rest of the team took up positions around the door. Paulson moved to the back of the room and signalled Waltham.

“thoughts? He said after she walked over

Waltham shrugged “they don’t seem too tough. Decent weapons though.“ she pointed to the plasma rifle she’d captured.

“hows things between you two?” he nodded to Jones

Relationships were against regulations but as long as it was discreet no one really minded. It could be lonely in deep space.

Waltham smiled. “he’s sweet, like a puppy. Always eager to please. But utterly fearless too. He could be a great soilder, but likes his gizmos too much.”

“Yeah jones is a good one.” Paulson agreed. He’s been friends with jones for years. They grew up in the same town went to the same high school, and went through training together.

Minutes ticked by. Jones had attached a large data cube to his scanner. He came over to the pair while the data downloaded “. I can copy the full ships hard drive. Shouldn’t take long. There’s not a lot of data, mainly seems to be the ships opperating system. Seems pretty basic. I did find something interesting though, I found ship schematic. We’re not far from a path to fire control. Its down the end of that corridor out there. “

Paulson thought for a second. “no, we have enough we need to get back”

Just as he said that his communicator beeped. It was the shuttle “Sir, get back here we need to go! A Canidation warship is on approach, ETA 7 minutes!”

“Ok people pack your shit up, we need to get out of here! Double time!”

The team grabbed there gear and quickly made there way back into the corridor. Several canidations ran down the steel hallway, the hack had triggered some kind of security protocol. These Canidations didn t have weapons but they moved so fast in the lower gravity that the quickly closed the distance, soon it was a melee, claw against fist.

****************

Alarms cried out for attention on the bridge of the Glasgow. A Canidation warship was closing in.

“eta?” asked Conroy. His calm voice a counterpoint to the frantic activity on the bridge.

“roughly 7 minutes until weapons range. I’ve contacted the shuttle”. maccalum replied.

Conroy nodded. Looking at the helmsman her said “keep that bug ship in between us. We’re smaller and so keep us in its shadow and hopefully they won’t get a weapons lock.”

Nodding, through helmsman fired up the thrusters.

“’ll try time get a target lock on the missile batteries.” Rotchford reported as she programmed the ships turrets.

Captain Conroy starred at the main screen, his fingers tapping a rhythm on the arm of his command seat.

Paulson tried to get a clear shot as a canidaton reared up on its four rear legs. It brought its full weight down on Waltham. Its mandibles opened and snapped closed right over her head. Only her quick thinking and combat helmet saved her from decapitation. She ducked her head and trusting the hardened carbon nanotube and ceramic construction she head-butted the bug right in its open mouth. Mandibles crunched against the helm. The force of through blow and the weight of the bug staggered her for a second, but years of hand to hand training came to her and with a twist and a flick she grabbed the alien and slammed it against the bulkhead. The lower gravity and adrenaline giving her almost superhuman strength.

Her combat knife flashed on the low light as she stabbed the mantis like torso. There was resistance then with a crunch she forced the blade through the carapace. The bug shuddered and wrenched. Flailing its limbs then it was still.

The skirmish was over as quickly as it started. Looking around Paulson shouted “sound off”

A chorus of voices said “here” or “i’m good”

A few troopers took minor injuries but no fatalities.

They sprinted down the corridor. The sound of gunfire brought them up short. The bugs were trying to capture the shuttle. Paulson knew if they lost that they were dead.

A scream echoed down the steel corridor. One of his men had fallen. Canidations pressed on.

“We need a distraction” Paulson shouted to Waltham over the blaring alarms.

“i have an idea. Hold here for a few seconds”

With that she sprinted back the way she came. Moments later an explosion rocked the ship. The lights and gravity cut out, then seconds later they came back on. The unprepared soilders hit the ground but were quickly back on there feet, the Canidations were not as lucky, they were a tangle of legs and claws further down the corridor.

Seizing his chance, Paulson shouting a battle cry and his boarding party fell in the bugs from behind. The battle was short and brutal but they pushed through just as Waltham returned. Her hair was burned and armour scorched.

“What the fuck did you do?” shouted Paulson

“I overloaded that plasma rifle and tossed it in the fire control room. I think we need to get out of here, that room is burning and it’s right next to the missiles”

Once everyone was on board the hatch slammed shut and the shuttle detached then raced back to the Glasgow, just as another explosion ripped through the Canidation warship. A series of smaller explosion’s rocked the ship them with a blast like a supernova the power core blew up. The shuttle was caught in the fireball but escaped with minor damage.

Paulson looked at his and bruised team as the shuttle pilot plotted a course back to the Glasgow.

Paulson pushed one of the Canidation corpses to the side, making down room in the small shuttle. He sat next to the body of a young man, almost a boy. Ramerez. It was his first tour, he was 18 and fresh out of boot camp. Ramerez had taken a plasma blast to the chest. His armour was burned through. Mercifully he had been killed instantly.

************

Conroy watched as the Canidation ship exploded. The shuttle streaked towards the hanger.

“well... shit” he said “get the shuttle on board and get ready to bug out”

calls of “aye” and “yessir” Echoed around the bridge..

The Canidation warship closed in, spitting fire and death at the Glasgow. Point defence destroyed the incoming missiles but the ship rocked from impacts

The Glasgow returned fire, turrets pounded the underside of the Canidation ship as it passed overhead passing through the expanding could of gas and debris.

The helmsman kept a steady course until the shuttle was back in then started evasive manoeuvres, he would have to hold the ship steady for a few moments to allow the hyperdrive to spin up, but the Canidation ship was not making it easy.

“Shuttle is on board. Prepare for Jump in 3...2...1...”

The ship lurched to the side and spun almost 90 degrees, crew members were thrown around the bridge like sticks caught in a hurricane. Alarms blared.

The main lights were down, red emergency lamps cast an eerie glow. Groans came from the crew

Rochford pulled herself back into her seat. Blood running from a head wound. She checked her console “sir..the hyperdrive core has been hit. We’re venting plasma and atmosphere...main power is down. Weapons down....the Canidations are coming around for another pass...”

Before Conroy could respond an explosion tore through the bridge as a missile impacted the armour surrounding the command center.

A ceiling panel that had been knocked loose earlier in the fight fell with a resounding crash pinning Conroy to his command chair and knocking him unconscious. Bones snapped under the force of the impact.

Rochford as the most senior officer left standing opened ship wide Comms “all hands. This is commander rochford. The captain is incapacitated abandon ship. I repeat abandon ship”

She moved as quickly as she could to try to help Conroy, Macallum was at his side trying to move the panel. “mac..leave him. We need to go...” she grabbed his arm “come on...move it soldier” macallum looked at the damaged viewscreen. The Canidation ship was baring down. Any second now it’s main cannons would finish the job. They were out of time.

White hot plasma blasts leaped from the Canidation vessel tearing across the cold black darkness. Promising death to the Glasgow.

A flash and a massive lurch pulled maccalum and Rotchford off their feet, but it wasn’t a weapon impact. It was the lurch of a gravity field forming a few miles away as a ship dropped out of hyperdrive.

A dangerous and potentially fatal move – a single miscalculation could have dropped the new ship right on top of them - but it saved the Glasgow. The rest of the fleet, the few ships that remained had jumped back to help. The TDF New York had jumped In front of the plasma blasts. Taking the hit that would have finished the Glasgow off. It opened up with its main cannons, rail guns blasting the armour above the Canidations missile batteries. Another Terran defence force ship TDF Cardiff jumped in behind and opened up on the bugs with everything it had. The Canidation vessel was powerful, but it couldn’t withstand the combined firepower of the vengeful human warships.

Explosion and explosion, hit after hit. The Canidations withered under the combined firepower and with a final flash it vanished as it’s fusion plant exploded.

The TDF Glasgows communication system beeped for attention. Maccalum moved slowly across

“This is captain Yoshimoyo on the New York. Prepare to receive medic and engineering teams. Your information won us the day Glasgow. All Canidation vessels have been destroyed. This is the first human victory in this war...”

“This is science officer McCallum. “thanks for the help. That was a risky move I owe your helmsman a beer. Captain Conroy has been injured. We don’t know how bad, the ship has taken heavy damage.

*****************

Weeks later Captain Conroy stood in front of admiral Wong.

Conroy had spent most of the time unconscious. His injuries sever, but with advanced medical skill, talented doctors and a dash of luck he had made a full recovery.

“Captain” the admiral began “I’m glad to see you’re back on your feet. I’ve out an official commendation for yourself and your entire crew. The information you fought so hard for will prove invaluable in this conflict”

Wong continued “The data contained ship specifications, technical manuals, training documents and recent fleet movements. With that information we’ve managed to push the Canidations back in a number of theatres , you and your crew have saved thousands of human lives. We all owe you a debt captain.”

“Thank you sir...i'm eager to get back to the Glasgow sir, to get back in the fight.”

The admiral shook his head

“I’m afraid not Conroy. The Glasgow was heavily damaged and will require months of repairs and refit. We can’t have a seasoned crew out of action for so long. You and your crew are being reassigned.”

Wong passed a pad to the captain

“Our newest, most powerful warship. The TDF Lucifer. You’ll be part of a task force – the ghost division. The Canidations are throwing more and more ships against us, and while we’ve slowed the advance to a crawl we are still loosing. You’ll go behind enemy lines and fight a guerrilla war. Do everything you can to bring the bugs down. Everything is a viable target, including the Canidation homeworld. Teach them to fear the wraith of Earth.”

End

[wwoodaengie]

ship (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

You and Hange are seated on the bleachers in front of the soccer field as you watch the football team do their warm-ups.

“And you invited me here because?” you asked Hange who never spoke ever since you arrived, which is probably a good 5 minutes.. 

“Levi is attractive.” you rolled your eyes at her statement. “So, why not?” she asked looking at you. “Ugh, Hange for the last time i am not asking him out and no, I don't like him! Why did you even invite me here, aren’t you supposed to be in class?!” you said. “Shouldn’t you be at class too?” Hange said. “My classes are done.” you said. 

The both of you looked back when you heard a thud, but you saw no one so the both of you  just shrugged it off.

Hange begged you to stay and watch the whole training of the football team. You picked your things up and started walking down the bleachers to go back to your dorm. “You guys should really date, you look good together.” Hange said. “How do you know we look good together?” you asked. She opened her ipad and showed a sketch of the both of you. “What the hell?! Hange, i know you’re an art major but what the fuck?” you pulled turned the ipad off and looked around to make sure no one saw the drawing. 

You were roommates with Hange and ever since he laid eyes on Levi and you, she never stopped talking about how you should date the football player. 

Levi is not a stranger to you, to the both of you. 

The 3 of you sat beside each other during the first year orientation, you started to hangout with Hange often and you shared a couple of classes with Levi, 

But you are not friends with him, more of like a colleague as you always explain to Hange. 

You never shared deep conversations, you never hung out with him, and you never talked to him at parties.

But, (as to what will Hange say)

You watched his games.

You wish him good luck.

You congratulated him if they win.

You shared your homework with him.

You wished him a happy birthday

You get invited to parties and you see him there, but you only nod at each other. 

There are obviously no reason to agree with Hange. 

Although he is cute, he is quite popular, very quiet, classy, and mysterious. Levi is like the man who came out of a YA movie and every girl liked him. 

The next day you were walking in the hallways of you building, you saw levi, so you smiled and continued to walk, but you were surprised when he suddenly sat in front of you at the cafeteria during lunch.

You raised your eyebrows-

“What’s not to like about me?” he asked. “Excuse me?” you asked confused. 

“Yeah, what's not to like with my friend.” A brown-haired man sat beside you. “See, I heard you talk about him with Hange the other day, so i asked Hange if you liked him and she said no, so now we are asking you if you don’t like my friend.” The brown haired guy, who is probably his teammate said. “Sorry, what is happening? and  why are you bugging me?” you asked. “I just wanted to know.” Levi said. 

You stood up and prepared to leave--

“Go out with me then, if you still don’t like me then i’ll leave you be.” Levi said.  

You are completely dumbfounded and confused with what's happening, so you just left and ignored Levi’s question. 

-- 

Miche laughed and looked at Levi who was looking at the retreating figure of the girl he just asked out. 

Levi glared at Erwin which made him stop laughing. “You shithead said it was gonna work” Levi started to walk away from the table. The blonde man stood beside him and draped his arm over at Levi’s. “ I said just ask her out, because obviously your little stunts with Hange is not working on her. Come on man, it's been 2 years, grow some balls and just ask her--” “I just did, she ran away. Are you bind?” Levi said with red ears and red face. 

You became Levi’s apple of the eye.

Ever since that freshman orientation, he wanted to ask you out many months ago but football happened. So instead of confessing his feelings to you, he confessed to Hange instead.

“I like y/n.” Levi said as he blocked Hange’s way. “Okay? Obviously i’m not her, so don’t expect me to blush and pass out. Excuse me.” she said and left. 

That day Levi couldn’t focus on training, he injured his foot. 

“Get well soon, Levi” 

Levi almost choked himself when he heard your voice, he looked up to say thanks but he was speechless, damn your such angel, he thought. So he just nodded. 

The only people who knew about his feelings were Hange, who is not even his friend, as of the moment and Miche, his teammate who ‘just’ knew. 

Levi can’t remember how he managed to convince Hange to set him up with you. 

“It’s not working anymore, ask her out yourself.” Hange said over the phone one day after practice. “Of course it won't work you asked her to ask me out who the hell does that?” 

“It’s the 20th century girls are allowed to do that.” Hange explained. “I know, but you only ask people you like SHE doesn’t like me.” 

Levi is frustrated as ever.

When he dropped the phone. Miche was already behind him. 

“Go shower, you smell like shit.” said Miche. Levi gave him the middle finger and went to the bathroom. 

“You know if you really like her! Man up and ask her out yourself!” Miche shouted. 

And that’s how he found himself asking you out on a very random day.. And time. 

And.. now you left.. 

You probably think of him as a weirdo. 

--

“And then I left.”

You are now hanging out with Hange to continue your interrupted lunch a while ago. You told her about what happened. 

“And I know its rude to not answer him and leave but i was pretty shocked” you explained.

“Well, what would you say if you didn’t leave?” Hange asked. 

You opened your mouth to speak but no words came. 

“Okay, Do you think I should go out with him?” you asked. 

“Excuse me? Did your little mind forgot how long I was convincing you?” Hange raised her brows. 

You bit your lip and grabbed your phone to call Levi. 

“You have his phone number?” Hange asked. “Yeah, academic purposes.” you said and dialled his phone. 

-

Levi couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

You are calling him. 

You.

The girl he likes you.

Y o u 

“Oh for fucks sake Levi answer the goddamn phone.” Miche said.

“Hello?”

“Uhh, hi is this Levi?” 

“Yes.” 

“Oh, uhm, hi Levi I-i just wanted to apologize a while ago, I didn’t mean to leave like that I was just-just you know, shocked.” 

He was smiling, like a fool. 

“That’s fine.” Levi said. He looked at Miche who is mouthing ‘ASK HER OUT!!’ 

“Yeah so about that--” 

“Can we meet? I’m at the field.” you said. 

Levi is on his way to the field his mind is in rumbles on what’s gonna happen. 

Did Hange told her? 

Is he gonna get rejected?

What the hell? 

He didn’t even start? 

You’re seated on the bleachers when he arrived. He looked at you and he just cant help but admire your face as your hair was blown by the wind. 

You smiled at him.

“Hey” your said. 

Levi just gave you a nod. 

“So a while ago, uhm..-”

“Do you still want to go out with me?” Levi asked. 

You bit you lip to prevent you smile as you nod. 

“Really? Seriously?” Levi excitedly asked. 

“Yeah.” you said as you chuckled. 

“Okay so uhm, when are you free?” Levi asked. “Anytime” you said. “Movie? Tomorrow night? -- oh no, that sucks. Uhm, dinner tomorrow at the diner, okay with you?” 

“Yeah, that’s okay with me.” you said. 

“Great, see you then.” Levi said and just looked at you. 

“So, i’ll go now.” you said. 

Levi nodded, so you started walking away. 

You went back with a smile on your face thinking about what just happened.

a/n: hi, welcome to the club, Levi. also, please please forgive me with this it bugged me the whole day. anyw, enjoy (please) 

also is thif fluffy enough. idk how it feels, wala na nagpapakilig sa akin. chz.

[you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus]

45 reasons why

summary: cyrus tries to think of all the possible reasons that tj hates him following the events of costume day. (inspired by this post)

ship: tyrus

word count: 9235 (she’s a hefty one)

notes: happy late birthday amanda! @swingsetboys i hope you like this! 1. I’m annoying

That one was a given, Cyrus thought. He always asked one too many questions, laughed a little too loud, and complained a little too often for people’s likings. It only made sense that this was probably one of the main reasons that TJ probably hates him.

Hate. He doesn’t like that word; it’s so strong, it has so much power. Yet, it almost seems to fit the mood. After all, the costume was TJ’s idea, not his. TJ was the one who looked so excited to do the costume based on an inside joke. And yet, TJ was the one who bailed on it. TJ was the one who did a costume with a girl he, supposedly, barely even knew.

He sighed, putting down his pen and leaning back in his chair. Maybe this didn't just start right around costume day. Maybe it went further back, but how far back? A week? A month? Cyrus shook his head, breathing out forcefully. Might as well start from the very beginning, he thought to himself.

The whole thing started with that damn muffin. The muffin, he pointedly thought, that he couldn’t get for himself because he was too much of a coward to cut in line and get it for himself.

2. I’m weak

3. I’m helpless Just like Jonah said, he thought, but left that unwritten. He already knew that; he didn’t want it written down. That day with the stupid muffin seemed almost like a far away dream to him. He was almost certain that TJ. . .smiled at him? It was kind of fuzzy; if you’d asked him a week ago, he’d be able to tell you how many steps TJ took towards him before saying ‘he’s with me’. But now, he doubted that the whole exchange even happened. All he remembered was that he looked at TJ like this monster, like someone who could and would crush him underneath his sneaker. But. . .he didn’t. He was surprisingly friendly.

4. I jump to conclusions

5. I get scared too easily

6. I’m a bad judge of character

For days after that, Cyrus had found himself lingering over their interaction, if you could even call it that. He’d absentmindedly draw a muffin on his biology notes. At lunch, he’d stare at his mashed potatoes so long that Buffy had to physically prod him to make him eat. And when his parents drove him home from school, the car ride was remarkably quiet.

He really thought that that would have been the first and last time that him and TJ interacted. He was fairly certain that was the taller boy’s name; Buffy had mentioned her disgust for him several times before. But their conversation had only just begun.

A little while later, Cyrus had found himself drenched in sweat from head to toe because oh his goodness, he couldn’t stop himself from getting tongue-tied in front of the camera. And it certainly didn’t help that he was with his, now-ex, crush. That only made him want to do well more, which of course led to a disastrous outcome. He’d ended up running towards the swings to try and calm down. He’d even sung that stupid song he made up in elementary school.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, TJ popped behind him, with a compliment for his song. And Cyrus. . .well, Cyrus just looked scared. He probably looked like a deer in the headlights from TJ’s perspective. And then of course, TJ had made some joke about what he sang on the slide. Probably in a pitiful attempt to make conversation

7. I’m pitiful

Somehow he’d managed to convince TJ to sit and swing with him. With him. It felt almost natural, them sitting together on the swings. Well, not together per se, but they were on the same swing set. Separately.

‘You don’t know me. I got stuff.’

He’d never forgotten those words, because in that moment, he felt almost comfortable around TJ. Like he just wanted to spill everything and get everything off his chest.

8. I get too comfortable with people I barely know

They’d barely even talked that day. All that Cyrus had learned was that, apparently, TJ had things that he needed to feel better about, which to Cyrus, sounded absolutely absurd. He was the captain of the basketball team, people were borderline terrified of him, and let’s be honest, he wasn’t ugly. Far from it, actually, save for the insane amount of hair gel he used to wear.

And when he gave him an underdog, he barely remembered feeling so light and so effortless all at once. It felt like he was on top of the world, and that nothing could touch him. And the smile on TJ’s face when he was squealing like mad. . .it was nice to see. Even then, Cyrus could tell he didn’t smile like that, or maybe even at all, much.

9. I’m scared of stupid things

And then Buffy had shown up and TJ instantly put up his walls again and wanted to hurry off. And for some weird reason, Cyrus didn’t want him to leave. He wanted his new. . .friend? (if he could call him that) to make sure that he knew that Buffy was cool, and understanding when she wanted to be.

10. I want things that I can’t have

‘Thanks for reminding me about swinging. That helped.’

For once that day, he felt useful, like he’d been successful in making someone just a little bit happier. He’d gone home that day feeling pretty good about himself. Even his parents seemed to notice his good mood, but when they asked him about it, he just shrugged it off, saying that he’d found a few dollars on his way in to school. He was fairly certain they didn’t believe him, but they didn’t pry anymore, simply letting them eat his dinner in peace.

11. I get happy at dumb things

A few days after their encounter at the swings, TJ somehow managed to find Cyrus again in the hallway. He looked oddly stressed, and he didn’t have the same easygoing ‘shrug it off’ demeanor that he’d sported just a few days ago. He looked like he wanted to say something, Cyrus could tell by the way he’d carried himself. He hadn’t forgotten their conversation from that day.

“Something on your mind?” Cyrus had asked, rocking back on his heels.

TJ had just shrugged, tugging on his hoodie straps. “Just. . .stuff,” he’d said lamely, but Cyrus could see behind his indifferent demeanor.

“You don’t have to tell me now, or ever,” Cyrus had assured him, and was ready to walk off when TJ started pulling something out of his back pocket.

“Here,” he mumbled, handing Cyrus his phone, “put your number in and I’ll. . .tell you about it sometime, I guess,”

Cyrus had nearly dropped the boy’s phone from pure shock. TJ was asking for his number? Well, no. More like TJ didn’t want to talk right now and instead wanted a second method of communication.

“O-Okay,” Cyrus had stammered out, putting his phone number in, all the while thinking about what he would write for his contact name. He wanted to make it something a little creative, but not something so stupid that it was embarrassing.

‘Cyrus (Underdog)’ he typed out, before handing it back to TJ. He had glanced down at his phone, and Cyrus had sworn he saw the ghost of a smile.

“Cool, I’ll text you,” he’d said, before running up to catch up with his basketball friends.

He’d waited all weekend for TJ to text him, but he never had. He’d even sent him a text himself.

[Cyrus: hey it’s cyrus! but you probably know that, anyways i’m here to listen if you ever want to talk :)]

He regretted it the moment he’d sent it.

12. I’m a dork

13. I’m clingy

When it had come time to invite people to his bar mitzvah, the last invitation was almost shaking in his hand. Why he was so nervous to hand it to TJ was beyond him, but looking back, a crush was definitely forming. Hindsight truly was a savior. He really, really wanted TJ to come, so much that he probably sounded desperate when he asked.

14. I’m desperate

15. I’m a geek

Luckily for him, TJ had accepted; heck, he’d even smiled at him. And then, he launched into a conversation about Buffy. Something about needing her to do something for him. And there it was, he thought, the reason that TJ had even talked to him at all. He need a favor. What? A date? Her number? TJ had ended up being pretty vague about the whole ordeal.

“Just use her two favorite words,” Cyrus had said confidently.

“I’m sorry?”

He’d paled, eyes bugging out of his head. “No, she hates those words,”

“Then what?”

Cyrus had hesitated. On the one hand, he did want to keep talking to TJ. On the other hand, he didn’t want to say something he shouldn’t. But one look up to him, seeing him almost smiling, he nodding up the sidewalk.

“Come with me. You might not like saying this, but Buffy will love hearing it.” The two of them had walked out towards the bus stop at the front of the school. After checking to see if the coast was clear, no Buffy in sight, Cyrus had stepped in front of TJ.

“You’re right,” he’d said.

TJ furrowed his brows in confusion. “About what?”

Cyrus shook his head. “No, those are her favorite words. ‘You’re right’. I don’t know what it is about them, but she just...seems to cave at whatever when you say them. It’s how I got her to sell me Tokyo,”

TJ looked at him, even more confused than before, but there was an air of fondness in his gaze.

Cyrus waved him off. “Monopoly. Long story.”

TJ nodded curtly, upon hearing the bus beep. “Maybe you could tell me sometime,” he offered, shaking his phone, “you can use emojis and everything,” he’d joked, before waving and heading onto the bus.

Cyrus couldn’t wipe that stupid smile off of his face no matter how hard he tried.

Sure enough, when he got home that night, he sent TJ a long text explaining how he just needed Tokyo to complete his collection, but Buffy wouldn’t sell it to him. He didn’t really remember what had happened, other than the fact that he’d said ‘you’re right’ so many times it started to sound like a foreign language.

And this time, TJ did send him a text back

[TJ 🏀: lol that’s funny. i’ll remember that. thanks for today]

Cyrus almost smiled as he added new things to the list. Memories of his bar mitzvah were fond, and he wishes times could be as simple as they were back then. He hadn’t seen TJ that much, save for the time that he couldn’t open a damn bottle.

“Hey, Underdog!” TJ had said above the music, approaching him.

Cyrus had just groaned in response, his shoulders slumping, He set the bottle back down on the table and swiped at his hairline. “Hey, TJ,”

TJ had looked between Cyrus and the bottle. “Need some help?”

Cyrus shook his head. “No, I’m supposed to do this myself, you know. Be a man and all that jazz,” he chuckles, cringing inwardly.

16. I’m cringy

17. I have no physical strength

TJ nodded, putting his hands in his pocket, before he’d stepped forward and grabbed the bottle. Cyrus had started to panic a little, but TJ assured him things would be fine. He’d started to open the bottle, just a little, and then had quickly handed it over to Cyrus to finish it off.

“All yours, dude,” he whispered, discreetly shuffling back towards the dance floor. Cyrus had stood stunned for a few moments, before he came to his senses and opened the bottle the rest of the way. It made a satisfying ‘pop!’ and the foam spilled over the neck. All of his family and friends were clapping, and if he squinted, he could see TJ, clapping his hands and smiling.

Things seemed near perfect that day. He hadn’t seen TJ for the rest of the party, but he assumed that he was enjoying himself. At the end of the day, when he was all dressed up in his dino pajamas, he heard his phone ding.

[TJ 🏀: hey that fortune teller at your party, is she for real?]

He had swore he was having some weird form of deja vu; what he said sounded just like what Buffy had said back at the party.

[Cyrus: no, she’s fake, she just likes to pretend she can see the future. why?]

[TJ 🏀: oh, she just said some pretty freaky stuff, like she was for real]

[Cyrus: rest assured, she cannot see the future]

[TJ 🏀: thank god]

[Cyrus: i, however, can. and i see you and me tomorrow at the spoon for taters]

[TJ 🏀: can you now? i’d love to but i have practice, sorry, maybe another time]

[Cyrus: yeah totally!!]

Cyrus had really hoped those exclamation points could mask his disappointment.

18. I get disappointed easily

19. I’m a burden

Had he already written that? He didn’t know, and he frankly didn’t care. If he wrote it twice, maybe it was really true.

After his bar mitzvah, things seemed to be pretty at bay. Buffy was playing well on the basketball team. Life with Andi seemed less dramatic than usual, and everyone seemed to be getting alone pretty well. That was, until he went to one of the basketball games and found TJ glaring at the court, not dressed in his uniform. He’d went over to check on him, but TJ had just brushed him off.

20. I’m a bother

21. I’m nosy

“Eating your feelings? I do that,” he’d tried to lighten the mood with a joke, but TJ’s face was a palette of annoyed and frustrated. The two of them had sat down at the table in the room adjacent to the court.

“Think they’ll win without me?” TJ had asked, his mind seeming to be anywhere else but in this conversation. It was weird not seeing him on the court, Cyrus agreed.

“I don’t even know who they’re playing,” he’d admitted with a shrug.

“The Raptors,” TJ had sighed, “I should be in that game.”

“Why aren’t you?” Cyrus had asked. Way to be direct, kid.

TJ grumbled. “‘Cause. . .I’m failing math. They won’t let me play basketball because I can’t do some stupid equations. How are those things even related?”

Cyrus had started putting pieces together, but he didn’t want to pry. He didn’t want to ruin the delicate friendship between him and TJ. “Maybe you should get a different tutor,” he’d suggested.

TJ had just brushed him off. “What I need is a different. . .brain.”

Cyrus had frowned, his brows knitting into confusion. “What’s wrong with yours?”

For the first time that day, TJ looked almost hesitant. “It doesn’t work. There’s a malfunction.”

That was one way to put it, Cyrus had thought.

“I might have this. . .math dyslexia,”

“Dyscalculia,” Cyrus had said, not missing a beat.

“Buffy’s the one who figured it out. She’s been bugging me to talk to Coleman. Constantly on my back about it,” TJ had sounded exasperated.

“It’s pretty common. Not worth replacing your brain over,” Cyrus had assured him, the beginnings of a smile starting to form.

TJ rolled his eyes. “Dude, it’s a-” he was cut off by a few people entering the room, and he clammed up immediately, waiting for them to leave. When he was certain they were out of earshot, he’d continued.

“. . .learning disability. I don’t wanna go around announcing that,”

Cyrus had felt awful; TJ didn’t deserve to feel like this. “Dude, that’s an overused buzzword. There is nothing wrong with you.”

TJ seemed to almost stop frowning at that. Cyrus couldn’t back it up with evidence, he had just said it.

“And, your teacher can’t fail you for having it.” Of course he couldn’t. He just regurgitated facts.

22. I’m not helpful

“Coleman can’t fail me,” TJ had repeated, the words tasting almost strange in his mouth.

“You could be playing basketball. Right now.”

TJ had groaned, leaning back in his chair. “And Buffy’s been right all along,” he’d mumbled, almost chuckling to himself, “At least this time I’ll mean it when I tell her she’s right. That really is her favorite thing to hear.”

Cyrus had cringed internally. “I shouldn’t have told you about that. She’d kill me if she ever found out.”

TJ had scoffed at that, shaking his head. “Ah, don’t worry. She won’t find out,” he had paused for a moment, “and she may have been right, but you’re the one who really helped me.”

Cyrus hadn’t known what to say at that. He felt oddly proud of himself, and seeing TJ smile a little just made the whole moment better.

“Cheese puff?” TJ had offered.

Cyrus shrugged. “Sure.”

That day had been a good one, Cyrus had concluded. TJ had found him helpful, which almost made him want to erase the previous thing he’d written. But, he figured, he’d end up rewriting it anyways later, so why change it now.

Besides, what had happened later with Buffy only made him wince. How could he have been so careless as to tell TJ his best friend’s weakness?

23. I’m a bad friend

24. I’m not trustworthy

25. I’m a backstabber

26. I can’t keep a secret

27. I’m a liar

‘He wants to be friends with me. Who knows why?’

He still thought about that sometimes. Why did TJ want to be friends with him? Not for his terrible humor, or for his nerdy jokes, that was for sure. TJ did seem to take pity on him after Buffy left.

“Cyrus, hey!” TJ had called out, jogging up to Cyrus’ locker, only to find him staring into the void.  He had waved his hand in front of his face. “Earth to Cyrus?”

Cyrus had flinched, nearly hitting his head on his own locker. “Huh? Oh, hey TJ.”

“Something on your mind?”

Pity. Pity was all that his mind could chant at him, but somehow, he still ended up talking. “I miss Buffy,” he muttered, closing his eyes. It was only his first day back at school, and he was already miserable.

TJ had slung his arm across his shoulder, tugging him down the hallway towards the cafeteria. “I know you do. But hey, she’s just a call or a text away right?”

Cyrus just shrugged, keeping his gaze down. “I guess so,”

“Do you wanna sit with me and my friends at lunch?” TJ had offered.

Cyrus shook his head. “No, I’m okay. Thank you though, really. I’ll see you around.”

28. I push people away when they just want to help

Cyrus seemed to be pretty good at pushing people away. No matter how much he’d isolated himself from people, especially when Buffy was away, they still managed to make an effort to sneak back into his life. Well, less people and more TJ. He’d even apologized to a piece of metal in order to sit down with him and Andi. And then of course, in typical Cyrus fashion, he just let his emotions flow and texted him his list of things he couldn’t do.

29. I’m pathetic

He’d even taken time out of his day to, first of all, drag him out of the drama between Andi and Jonah, and second of all, to teach him how to do a somersault. He didn’t forget how his heart fluttered after they chest bumped. It felt like it did around Jonah. . .well, used to feel around Jonah.

Even when Buffy had said that his disappeared, he had lied slightly. At this point, he didn’t want to admit that his crush didn’t “disappear”, but it. . .moved, almost. It was like all his feelings transferred to TJ; the sweaty palms, the fluttering heart, and the indescribable desire to spend more time around him, preferably alone. Time spent alone with TJ was some of the best time of his life.

“Okay, so go over this one more time?” TJ had sighed, swirling his straw in his milkshake.

“So,” Cyrus started, clearing his throat, “I’ll find a way to get Buffy to the basketball courts, and then you show up, I’ll disappear, then you two can talk for a little, I’ll come back and then you guys will play some one on one,”

TJ had chuckled, leaning back in the booth. “Wow, you’ve really thought about this, huh?”

Cyrus was probably blushing now, and he tried to hide it by shrugging and sipping his milkshake. “Just a little bit,”

“Well, it’s a pretty good idea. You’re full of them.”

Cyrus was now for sure blushing. “Eh, I try.”

“You succeed.”

Why did he have to say these things? It only made Cyrus more and more and more flustered.

That day was one of his fondest memories with TJ. It was also probably when he realized how intense his crush really was. And when the day came for the basketball game, it was a little shaky, but it had worked out. Heck, TJ had even performed an apology rap for Buffy.

‘I’m so confused.’

So was Cyrus that day. He didn’t know why TJ had even agreed to go through all this effort just to apologize for Buffy. Maybe it’d be nice to befriend someone he liked, Cyrus thought. After all, that’s how it went for him and Jonah, but at least that crush was in the past.

30. I’m stupid

After Buffy had decided to start her basketball team, she had enlisted in Cyrus, and Andi a little, to help put up posters. Andi made them, Cyrus had to hang them. TJ had even offered to help him do that.

“Need some help down there?” TJ’s voice had floated down the hallway, a stupid grin on his face.

Cyrus had jumped one last time to try and pin the poster up, but to no avail. “Is it that obvious?”

TJ had chuckled at that, plucking the poster from his hands. “Huh. ‘Girls Basketball Tryouts This Week’. You trying out for the team, Underdog?”

Cyrus huffed at that, crossing his arms. “No. I’m just on poster-hanging duty. Which I seem to be failing at.”

“Here, I’ll help you,” he’d offered, handing the poster back to Cyrus.

Cyrus scowled, looking between the poster and TJ. “I told you that I couldn’t reach the-hey!”

And before Cyrus knew it his feet weren’t on the ground anymore. TJ had a firm grip on him, and Cyrus was just squirming.

“I could do it for you but, teach a man to fish?” he had repeated his mantra from when they first met each other.

“TJ, put me down!” Cyrus giggled, his legs kicking in the air.

TJ eventually gave in, putting him down, smiling widely. “Fine, fine, I’ll help put them up. The normal way.”

It had taken them way longer than expected to put up the posters, probably because they were just a chaotic duo, but Cyrus wouldn’t have had it any other way. It was way more fun than expected, even if it took a long time.

31. I waste people’s time

TJ was always one to push him out of his comfort zone, literally and figuratively. The day they went dirt biking was probably the epitome of that fact. The day was supposed to be a great one, seeing as he finally was getting around to meeting TJ’s friends. But things turned sour once Reed had shown him the gun. And when he confronted TJ about it, he barely said anything. Worse, he didn’t leave either. He was so concerned with his safety, as well as TJ’s, but still managed to walk off without him.

32. I’m careless

And then worse, he thought, was when he went to talk to Metcalf and the police about the gun. He felt so panicked the whole day after that encounter that he couldn’t even eat lunch. And considering he wasn’t allowed to talk to TJ all day, thanks to his friends, it felt worse. Don’t get him wrong, he appreciated what Buffy and Andi did for him, but he really wanted to clear things up with TJ. When they talked it out on the swings, he had no idea why he said the things he did.

“You can be a little annoying, you know that?” TJ had said, taking a step towards him.

33. I’m annoying

“Well, you can be oblivious,” Cyrus had countered weakly. He didn’t even know where the word oblivious came from. Oblivious to what? To the fact that sitting there with Reed was putting him in obvious danger? Or to the fact that Cyrus had an undeniable crush on him?

“Well you can be very judgy,” TJ had remarked, taking another step forward.

34. I’m judgy

“Well you can be intimidating,” Cyrus had replied, and was surprised his voice wasn’t wobbling.

“You know what else you are?”

That sounded like a threat. TJ could fill it in with any word in the world. Nosy. Irritating. Not my friend. He had told himself to keep his composure.

“What?” How he had managed to say that without his voice breaking was beyond him.

“The only person I can talk to like this,” he had said softer. Cyrus thought he was going to faint; he said what? He couldn’t help but smile at that.

That day seemed like light years away now, so far that it was nothing but a mere memory. He almost wishes he was back on the swingset with TJ, just swinging mindlessly. Or maybe he wants to go back to playing ping-pong with him and Jonah after they’d resolved their issues. It had been a bit of a stressful day for the most part, but seeing Jonah and TJ make up made it all worth it. Although, when they were talking about ‘stuff’ they had to do with, Cyrus had chickened out and said something about flamingos. He barely remembered, but he knew it was a lie. They’d played a few more round until Jonah decided to head over to the Red Rooster with Andi, leaving him and TJ.

“So, flamingos, huh?” TJ had chuckled, picking up the ping-pong balls that remained on the floor.

Cyrus had just shrugged, trying to ignore the fact that his heart was hammering in his chest: a clear sign that he was lying. Couple that with feeling like he couldn’t swallow, and you had a recipe for disaster.

“Yup,” he squeaked, putting the paddles on top of each other, “real and plastic,”

TJ had just hummed in response, leaning against the table. “So when we went to the zoo that time and you were spitting out facts about why flamingos are pink, while you pointed at them. . .your fear just happened to disappear then?”

Cyrus gulped, trailing his finger around the rim of the paddles. “That. . .that’s the day it started?” he’s said, but it sounded like a question.

TJ’s expression had softened, and he’d come up to Cyrus, putting his hand on his shoulder. “Stuff?”

Cyrus nodded weakly in response. “Yeah, stuff,”

“Swings?” TJ had offered.

Cyrus shook his head, nodding over to the stairs. “Stairs,” he’d mumbled, going and taking a seat on the second to the last stair. TJ had sat down beside him, and he didn’t push him to talk. He knew Cyrus would talk when he was good and ready.

“Look,” he started, “this. . .this is something that I think about a lot, you know? It’s not. . .something I’m ashamed of, I just don’t tell people that I don’t trust,” he admitted.

“Unless you killed someone I swear I’ll keep whatever you tell me a secret,” TJ had promised, crossing his heart, “and even then, I’d help you hide the body.”

Cyrus breathed out a laugh at that. “No, it’s not that it’s. . .I don’t like girls,” he said lamely, waving his hands in the air a little, “I mean, I-I like guys. Like, in a romantic way,”

TJ had remained quiet for a moment, waiting to see if Cyrus had anything else to say, but when he didn’t he just nudged him lightly. “I’m glad you told me. It was brave,” he paused, looking up to face him, “you’re brave, Cyrus. Braver than you give yourself credit for,”

Cyrus had smiled softly, breathing out and feeling like the oxygen was actually getting to his lungs. “So. . .we’re still cool? You and me?”

TJ had scoffed, nudging him once more. “Of course we are! It’ll take a lot more than this for things to be not cool between us.”

He kept thinking about that day; what if it wasn’t the best time to come out to TJ? What if he actually did think it was weird and was just trying to keep the situation as light as possible? All these what ifs, Cyrus concluded, could be boiled down.

35. I’m gay

He sighed, staring at that statement for a while. It was true, but the idea that TJ could hate him for something he couldn’t control. . .it hurt a lot. Almost too much, but he had to write down every possibility, every possible thing.

36. I’m weird

That one was a little more general, he supposed. Weird could cover a lot of things, not just being who he was, but all his nerdy hyperfixations, the way he acted around people, and his choice to never really go out with friends to parties. Too many reasons to list, so it was all boiled down to one word.

One word. That seemed to be all TJ could say after his dance recital that one weekend.

He’d finished the routine and was in the locker room wrapping up and putting his things into his duffel bag when they door swung open. TJ was walking his way, a hand behind his back.

“Wow,” he’d said, a gentle smile on his face.

Cyrus waited for him to say more, even along the lines of how ridiculous he’d looked on stage, flopping around like boiled pasta, but he didn’t say anything else.

“Wow? That’s it?”

“Wow, wow,” he repeated, pulling out a small dandelion from behind his back and handing it to Cyrus with a sheepish smile on his face, “. . .wow,”

Cyrus had accepted the flower graciously, and TJ had said something about catching up with his sister before he left for practice.

37. I’m a bad dancer

TJ somehow knew that dandelions were Cyrus’ favorite, probably from the numerous times he’d said that. He always knew just what to bring to every event, even to his Bubbe Rose’ shiva. How did he know to bring challah bread?

“Hey, Cyrus,” TJ had caught him alone, after the others had left and his family was cleaning dishes up and packing away food.

“TJ, hi,” he’d returned with a small smile, stacking one plate on top of another, “you know we’re wrapping up and all, you can go home,”

“I know,” he’d said, putting his hands in his pockets, “I just wanted to say that. . .I’m sorry for your loss. I know that she was really important to you, and I don’t know how much it’s going to mean coming from me, but. . .she cares about you a lot. We all do,” he’d gestured vaguely to the people around the room.

Cyrus had felt like crying right then and there, but he didn’t, somehow. He just smiled wider than before. “That does mean a lot, thank you, really. I know she does, I just. . .I miss her a lot already,”

“I know, and. . .if you ever want to talk about anything, tell me stories about her, or you just want me to distract you from this with a basketball story, I’m there.”

“Thank you, TJ. That means a lot.”

How had things managed to go from almost perfect, to the disastrous state that they were in now? He wanted to say that he didn’t understand, but he did. He knew that it had to do with himself, because that always seemed to be the problem. He always seemed to be the problem. The things he wrote just started to spill out of him.

38. I���m not worthy

39. I’m always the problem

40. I’m there when I’m not wanted

41. I’m a second-best person

42. I’m not attractive

43. I isolate myself from people

44. I’m a disaster

45. I’m annoying

He stopped writing for a second; the last words he’d written looked familiar. He scanned over the list and found that he’d written ‘I’m annoying’ three times. Sighing, he set the pen down and closed his eyes. Annoying. He’d written it so many times, that was probably the main reason, he deducted. With a shaky hand, he folded up the paper and shoved it into a backpack pocket of his. He didn’t feel particularly upset, he just felt numb, and a little tired. He managed to trudge down the stairs, where his mom was sitting and cutting up some vegetables for tonight’s dinner.

“Cyrus, sweetie, how are you feeling?” she asked sweetly, wiping her hands on the towel.

He just shrugged, unable to maintain eye contact for longer than a second. “Not. . .great. Is it okay if I stay home from school tomorrow?”

She softened at that, coming over to him and giving his shoulder a light squeeze. “I know you’re upset, but avoiding-”

“-just one day, please mom. I swear I’ll go back the day after. I promise. I just need tomorrow,” he pleaded, looking up at her, eyes filled with a layer of unshed tears.

She looked over his facial features for a few seconds before her shoulders relaxed, and she nodded weakly. “Okay, you have tomorrow, okay? Do whatever you need to do and if you want to be alone, that’s fine. If you need someone to talk to-”

“-I can call another therapist,” Cyrus half-joked, offering a tiny smile, “thanks, mom. I’ll be in my room for a little while. Think I’ll just take a nap.”

She nodded, watching him worriedly as he walked up the stairs and quietly shut the door to his room with a gentle click. He collapsed onto his bed, and he lied there forever until he felt like he couldn’t breathe through his nose. When did he start crying? Cyrus didn’t even know the answer to that simple question, and he was too weary to think about it. He pulled the covers over his head, closed his eyes, and waited for all the thoughts swirling around his head to settle down, before he finally fell asleep.

The next time Cyrus woke up, it was pretty dark outside, and he squinted at his alarm clock. It was close to eleven thirty, and he just sighed, grabbing his phone off of his stand and opened it to check through his notifications.. A few texts from Andi and Buffy in their group chat, one from Amber about dance, and none from TJ.

[buffy: hey cy are you okay?]

[andi: yeah, we’re worried. but we’ll talk to you tomorrow]

[cyrus: i’m not going tomorrow, i don’t feel well]

[andi: are you okay? do you need soup or something?]

[buffy: yeah do you need us to come over?]

[cyrus: no that’s fine, it’s not that bad, but i did manage to convince my mom to let me stay home]

[buffy: the talented actor mr cyrus goodman]

[cyrus: i’m not lying, it’s the truth, it’s just not the worst pain i could be in]

[andi: well if you need anything, just text us]

[cyrus: i will, i love you guys]

[buffy: we love you too!]

[andi: <3]

Cyrus felt drained just from that short conversation, and he put his phone aside, staring up at the ceiling. It irked him that TJ hadn’t sent him a text, especially after what had happened. If he wanted to apologize, which maybe he didn’t, a text would have been a start, because on Costume Day, there was nothing more than a few ‘I’m sorrys’ and ‘I should have called’. It wasn’t enough, not in the slightest, but as the days went on, desperation started to seep in, and Cyrus tried to convince himself that it was enough of an apology for him to just forget all of this happened. But no matter how many times he said that to himself in the mirror, he never could actually, genuinely believe himself. After a little more thinking about the matter, he pulled the covers back over his head, and fell asleep again.

“C’mon, c’mon,” TJ muttered under his breath, scanning through the hallway to try and find a certain brown-eyed boy walking through the hallways. But the more time that passed, the more his hope drained, and he retreated to his locker. Thankfully, he saw Buffy and Andi walking together, and nearly pushed people over to talk to them.

“Have you guys seen Cyrus today?” He asked, nearly out of breath, and looking mildly disheveled.

The two girls exchanged looks, not really wanting to talk to TJ at the moment, but they just gave him cold gazes. “He’s sick,” Buffy said simply.

“Wait, what? It’s, like, basically summer,” TJ sputtered, rubbing the back of his neck.

Andi shrugged. “All I know is that he said he felt too tired and too weak to come to school today. Should be back tomorrow,” she said curtly, pivoting on her foot and heading to her next class, Buffy following close behind.

TJ just stood in the middle of the hallway, dumbfounded. Cyrus wasn’t in school today, and he couldn’t help but feel like it was his fault. Tired and weak, they’d said. That didn’t sound like a typical cold, and he tried not to jump to the worst possible conclusion, but his mind didn’t allow him to do that. Cyrus was home because he wanted to avoid him. He couldn’t come to school because of TJ.

The whole day, TJ had been distracted. He couldn’t shake this vague nausea, because it was his fault. It was always his fault, it seemed. Everything was. He couldn’t concentrate in school, he missed almost all of his shots in basketball practice, and he didn’t get any of his homework done. All he did was stare at the words on the page and let them turn to mush as he shut the book angrily, rubbing his eyes harshly. He turned off the lamp and just scrolled through his phone. He wanted to send Cyrus a text, but he was too afraid. Too much of a coward. He’d typed out so many messages in his notes, but never sent any of them.

Overwhelmed by emotions, he shut his phone off and tried to sleep. It was a fitful attempt to sleep, and he was tossing and turning all night long, it felt like. He was sure that he had fallen asleep at some point, because after what felt like a longer blink, his alarm went off, and he just knocked it over to the ground with a groan.

Cyrus wished that he felt better after a day of just sleeping and watching YouTube videos, but he didn’t. He still felt just as drained and upset, if not moreso. When his mom served him breakfast, he told her that he wasn’t hungry, but that he was alright.

Having not done his homework due yesterday, he just circled random answers on the worksheets, and shoved papers into his backpack with a weak sense of urgency. He didn’t know how he was going to make it through the day without Andi and Buffy asking him a ton of questions. Don’t get him wrong, he loved them to death, but today was a day where he really couldn’t deal with talking to people, even them.

“Have a good day at school, Cyrus,” his mom called after him as he opened the door.

“I’ll try,” he mumbled, heading on his way. Sometimes TJ would wait for him in the morning, running from his hand and then the two of them would make their way to school, nearly hand in hand. The space around him felt almost too big as he walked, and he felt so small.

The bell was too loud, there were too many students, and Cyrus felt like a stranger in the school, only having been gone for a day, though. He almost forgot his locker combination, because his brain only wanted to focus on how weak his knees felt.

“Cyrus!”

All his thoughts came to a screeching halt at that sound. He knew damn well who it was, but all his brain seemed to chant was ‘danger, danger, pain, pain, pain, sadness’. He didn’t turn around, he didn’t even zip up his bag all the way, he just ran, who knows to what class. If his gym teacher could see him now, he would be beyond proud. Fortunately for him, he was running in the right direction, and ended up in his math class, nearly out of breath. He picked a seat near the back and tried to make sure that his teacher wouldn’t call on him. Unzipping his bag, he pulled out his notebook from his big pocket, and then a pencil from his small one.

Huh, he thought, zipping up the smaller pocket, it was kind of open. He tried not to linger on that for too long, as his teacher was about to start another lesson.

TJ could only watch him run off as he stood there. He felt his heart sinking deeper and deeper into his stomach, and was about to turn and walk off a small piece of paper fluttered near the corner of the pod of lockers. Moving with utmost casualty, he walked over and picked it up before walking to his next class. While TJ usually loved history, the piece of paper burning in his pocket demanded attention. He took his usual seat near the back of the classroom, and as his teacher started talking about the Civil War, he quietly pulled out the paper and smoothed it out under his desk.

He was a little confused at first; it was a list of insults someone had written about themselves. A quick glance over revealed that they had written ‘I’m annoying’ three times before they stopped. He squinted at the writing, and more he looked at it, the more worried he got. It looked an awful lot like Cyrus’ handwriting. His y’s were always curled at the bottom just so, his a’s were never fully closed, and the way he drew his 2’s were just like the ones on the page.

TJ felt his whole chest seize up. If Cyrus really did write this, which was becoming a much more real possibility with each passing moment, he couldn’t help but feel like this was his fault. Did he really make Cyrus feel like this? Like he was basically worth nothing? Putting aside his worries, he ignored whatever his history teacher was saying, and pulled out another sheet of paper, keeping Cyrus’ in his lap for reference. At least it looked like he was taking notes, since his teacher seemed to pay him no mind. And when the bell rang, he shoved both pieces of paper into his pocket and bolted out the door, looking for a certain boy.

Last period didn’t end fast enough, so when the bell finally did ring, Cyrus was the most excited that he’d been all day. He still had homework he needed to catch up on, along with today’s work, but all he wanted to do when he got home was to sleep more. He was almost out the door and ready to walk home, when he felt an urgent tapping on his shoulder. Turning around, he drew in a sharp breath. TJ.

“Hey,” TJ mumbled, tapping his fingers nervously against his jeans.

“What do you want, TJ?” Cyrus said. And it didn’t come out mean, or cruel, or cold. It was just tired, like he was on his way to something.

“This is only going to take a few minutes, please,” he practically begged, the urgency in his tone only growing. Being too tired to resist, Cyrus just shrugged, and TJ, wasting no more time, grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards an empty classroom, shutting the door behind him.

“Hurry up, I have things to do,” Cyrus mumbled, taking a seat on the top of a desk.

TJ nodded, and shakily pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. He felt like he was going to be sick, but he quickly handed it to Cyrus. When the other boy saw the paper, he immediately folded it back up, holding it close to his chest.

“Wh-where did you find this?” Cyrus squeaked, his voice on the edge of cracking.

“It was on the floor by some of the lockers,” he said softly, taking one of the chairs from under a desk and sitting in it, “when?”

Cyrus glanced up from his hands. “When what?”

“When did you write it?”

He toyed with the idea of lying to him. How would he know? But after a few moments of thought, he felt like there was nothing left to lose.

“The other day,” he admitted softly.

“Do you actually believe all the things you wrote? Cyrus, those are all lies,” TJ said firmly, scooting a little bit closer.

Cyrus shook his head, willing himself not to start crying, not here, and certainly not now. “Of course they’re true,” he grumbled, “why would you hate me if they’re not?”

TJ froze; if the rest of Cyrus’ words were a slap to the face, this was a stab right through his heart. He literally could not speak for several moments after he’d said that.

“I. . .you. . .you think I hate you?” He finally managed to say, his tongue feeling oddly dry.

Cyrus just shrugged again. “I mean, you bailed that day,” he said under his breath, kicking his legs underneath the desk.

TJ swore that if he wasn’t sitting down he would have fainted. “I. . .I mean, I’m really sorry for doing that, it was a crap move on my part, and there’s a sort of reason why I did but. . .I could never hate you, Cyrus, never.”

When Cyrus didn’t say anything, TJ pulled out the other piece of paper from his pocket, smoothing it out in front of him. “I swear this won’t take long, I’m just asking you to hear me out,” he looked up at Cyrus, who just motioned for him to hurry up.

TJ cleared his throat, tightly holding the piece of paper in his hand. “You’re not annoying, not at all,” he started, which barely garnered Cyrus’ attention.

“You are strong,” he continued.

“What the heck is going on?”

TJ put a hand up. “Just listen. You’re not helpless, if anything you’re an independent person. You don’t jump to conclusions too fast, if anything, you’re good at reading people from a first glance,”

Cyrus just furrowed his brows, listening to TJ talk. He glanced down at his list in his own hand, and it took him a few moments to realize that TJ was trying to counteract all the things that he’d written on his own list.

“But I do get scared too easily,” Cyrus mumbled, tracing his writing on the paper.

“That’s not a reason for anyone to hate you, Cyrus,” TJ assured him, “and. . .you’re not a bad judge of character, you’re actually pretty good at it. Great, even.”

“Pitiful,” Cyrus countered, crossing his arms in defense.

“Lies,” TJ cut him off before he could say more, “you’re not pitiful. And getting too comfortable with people you barely know? More like you can make friends really easily.”

“Yes, but,” Cyrus squints down at his own list, “I’m scared of stupid things.”

TJ shook his head. “No, you’re rational. You have rational fears,” he says, looking at the next thing, “and ‘wanting things that you can’t have’? You have goals and dreams that you want to achieve. I have no idea how you thought that anyone could hate you because of that. Getting happy at dumb things? Seeing you smile is one of the best part of my days, and I don’t even care what you smile about. It really doesn’t matter.”

If Cyrus didn’t know any better, he would have thought that he and TJ were back into their normal routine. He just looked at his list, and mumbled “dork.”

TJ’s face grew harder by the moment, and he gripped the side of the chair with his free hand to try and keep his emotions at bay. “You are not a dork, Cyrus. And, for that matter, you’re not clingy, you’re not desperate, or a geek, or cringy. Not in the slightest.”

Cyrus sighed. “Look TJ, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but you don’t need to pity me like this.”

His eyes widened, and for a second, nothing came out of his mouth except for a squeak. “You think this is pity? This isn’t pity, I’m just telling you the truth about yourself, because your mind seems to only think you’re the worst. Which you’re not, you’re my favorite person.”

TJ took a deep breath before continuing. “Physical strength? What’s that got to do with someone hating you? You don’t get disappointed easily, I know that for a fact, and,” he pauses, hesitantly reaching up and placing a hand on Cyrus’ shoulder, “you are not a burden. Please don’t say that about yourself.”

“But,” he pauses, looking down at his paper, “I am a bother, and nosy.”

“You’re not, not at all. And also, you are extremely helpful, Cyrus. You haven’t helped just me, but so many people. You’re a great friend, and all this nonsense of not being trustworthy or anything like that? It’s a complete lie.”

“Even if I do try to help people, when they try and help me, I push them away,” Cyrus said, glancing at TJ’s hand, which was still on his shoulder. He didn’t do anything to push him off, because honestly, the contact felt nice after a period of the cold shoulder.

“And people should hate you for that? It’s a coping mechanism, you should know that better than anyone,” TJ informed him, “and you are one of the smartest people I know, Cyrus. You’re not stupid, or pathetic, where did you even get that idea?”

“But I do waste people’s time,” he countered weakly, looking down at his lap.

TJ was so upset that Cyrus actually believed the things that he’d written about him, that it just made him want to crumple right then and there. “You don’t. You care so much about people, and you are always there when they need it. And you have annoying on here again, but that’s not true.”

Cyrus glances up at him when he says that. “But you said that I was.”

TJ raised his brows. “I’d never say that. When did I say that?”

“That day at the swings, after the whole Reed thing. You said that I was annoying. And judgy for that matter,” he muttered.

TJ sighed, bowing his head. “It. . .look, I’m sorry for saying that, but in the heat of the moment, I was upset because. . .I thought I was going to lose you. And I couldn’t bear that.”

The two of them were quiet for a little while, the only sound being the ticking clock up on the wall. Finally, TJ looked at the next things on the list, and felt like he was going to cry.

“Cyrus, look at me,” he said firmly, meeting the other boy’s gaze, “I will never, and have never, hated you because of who you are. You being gay is just part of who you are, and is not a reason for me, or anyone else for that matter, to hate you,” he pauses for a moment, “especially me. It’d be pretty hypocritical.”

Cyrus almost smiles at that. Almost. He instead just seems to relax, a breath passing through his lips. “I’m still weird though.”

TJ just shrugged. “Weird is good though. Why would anyone want to be normal?”

Cyrus gave a weak smile at that, feeling a little lighter with each of TJ’s words. “That doesn’t change the fact that I’m a bad dancer.”

TJ crossed his arms. “I’ve seen you in the studio, Cyrus. You’re not a bad dancer. You’re always smiling, and you get this little smirk on your face when you’re concentrating really hard. It’s cute.”

Cyrus ducked his head at that, and tried to tell his mind that he was still supposed to be mad at TJ, not fall for all his compliments. Before he could even say anything else, TJ beat him to it.

“You are worthy of everything, okay? You deserve the world. If anyone’s a problem, it’s me, not you. And you are certainly not a second best person. You’re my first choice, always have been. The fact that you isolate people is, again, a coping mechanism for when you’re upset. You’re not a disaster, and never have been. And I hope this time you believe me when I say you’re not annoying.”

Cyrus nodded weakly; it felt really nice to hear someone tell him that he was their first choice. It was like he was wanted.

“And. . .don’t say you’re not attractive. You’re. . .” he hesitates a little, barely able to look him in the eye, “you’re beautiful, Cy, okay? All of you. Your smile, your laugh, your personality especially.”

Cyrus opened his mouth to say something, but again, TJ beat him to it.

“Kira was going to out me if I didn’t do the costume with her. I’m sorry that I bailed and I’m sorry that I didn’t let you know, I was just so scared that she was going to tell people and I didn’t-”

“-TJ, slow down,” Cyrus cut him off, reaching out for his hand and giving it a soft squeeze, “I forgive you, okay? And. . .thank you for this. I feel a lot better now. And for the record,” he laughs a little, “I think you’re pretty handsome yourself.”

Now it was TJ’s turn to try and hide his blush. He looked down at their hands, and couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks,” he mumbled bashfully, “I try.”

Cyrus smiled, hopping off of his desk and standing. “I’ve missed talking to you. What do you say we go get some ice cream and catch up?”

TJ stood up with him. “I’d love that.”

And after two rounds of ice cream and way more laughing and talking, they fell back into their normal rhythm, with a little more hand holding and hugging. But after today, their relationship was all the more stronger. When he went home that day, Cyrus through his list in the garbage, and pinned up TJ’s list to the board in his room. Even when he was having a bad day, he could always look at that list and smile.

[rubixa-seraph]

11 Questions About Me

Tagged by @gentle-outlaw

Sorry this took me a while to get to! Mobile sucks!

1. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the 3rd line on that page? 

Kurt nodded.

- Halo; Ghosts of Onyx

I’m totally not done reading this book because I keep playing video games instead.

2. What is your happiest memory and why?

I am... having a very hard time answering this question. It’s not that I haven’t felt happy before, but there is nothing that I can remember so pointedly to be the “happiest.” I am generally happiest when I have good food that I want, so it might as well be any time I am eating food that typically comes out a bit expensive. It’s not good because it’s expensive; it’s expensive because I’m poor.

3. Do you have any OC's (for fanfiction or totally original)? If so, describe them or if you have more than one, describe your favorite one!

[[MORE]]

I do and I can’t just describe one without the other. Through some manner of world building and RP and various factors, one character became two...

Roy King and Evan King are effectively a set of twin characters, though originally one was a “copy” of another. I stick them into a lot of fan content for fun but they do have their own standalone little world bubble I’ve built where they have an original setting.

Roy is the elder brother, typically stern, demanding, and somewhat testy. He is very closed off and trusts very few with his emotions, and in any given new relationship being established, he expects the other party to prove themselves to him, first, before he will extend his goodwill in kind. He takes loyalty very seriously, thus he is picky about who he will trust; and if you deliberately backstab him, you’ll be sorry. Across different settings, Roy is often represented with the motif of bugs, especially that of bees/hornets/wasps and also the scorpion. Sweet and giving of what he has when he trusts you, and a downright bastard when angered or agitated... and depending on the setting setting he’s in, he chooses lethality as a means to deal with traitors. In his original setting, he is a fae war-king of a fictional fae court that is a fae imagining of honey-bee fae. The war-king part is that he is the strongest offense and defense of the Hive, and the Queen is the only one that holds sway over him.

Evan King is the younger twin. Instead of being more withdrawn, he wears most of his emotions and his heart on his sleeve. He’s a bit of a romantic, and it shows. He’s also one to walk away from most troubles instead of contesting against them, but he can still get snarky and profess his dislike before crossing any lines. Many a time he has to focus on preventing Roy from actually trying to follow through on a threat or a fight. Across different settings, Evan is often represented with motifs of birds, especially that of the legendary Phoenix. Bright, somewhat elusive, resilient and positive after conflict even if it still had hurt him, and focuses a lot on healing others, especially his brother. He’s also a bit of a daring troublemaker and a kleptomaniac (with boundaries.) In his original setting, he’s an avian “god” (patron) whose two major traits are treasure-collecting and a perchance to adopt stray youths. Bring him “offerings” or gifts (even actions of goodwill) and he leaves no debt unpaid to you. He is good with children, if not a bit coddling.

4. Who is your all time favorite fictional character and why?

It’s hard to think back on this but I would say Roy Mustang from FMA. It’s a bit hard to describe but the hero worship is strong. Though never explicitly explained in the manga itself, he stood out among his peers, not just from skill alone, which he had gained through blood and sweat both, but also that he certainly did not look to be of the same race as the majority of Amestrians you see. As someone who is Asian growing up in America, this character meant a lot to me just for the nature of him existing in the position that he had, with the burdens that he had; and the perseverance was something that I hung on to.

5. What do you find yourself thinking about the most?

How tired I always am and how I’m always in need of looking for a distraction. Also I want tea and cake and pastries and yummy food... I grew up a bit wealthy before my family fell apart so I catch myself often missing the luxuries that I had. I know it makes me sound terrible but look... I miss it, okay? It was a part of my life growing up but then all the lies my family fed me came crumbling down and that wasn’t my fault...

6. Look out your nearest window and describe what you see!

It’s still super early in the morning. It’s cloudy today. I see the back parking lot of the gas station across from my apartment. Cars are going to and fro for the morning commute to work, and there is a garbage collection truck pulling in near the dumpster.

7. What makes you feel nostalgic?

Piano music. A long time ago I was a pianist; concert level. I performed on stage, small and local as they were. But my family didn’t want me to actually pursue music. What a waste of my talents...

8. You have two hours left on earth, how do you spend them?

Eat good food. Okay, I might have stress eating issues...

9. What's your favorite sound?

I could have so many different answers to this but the sound that really gets me grinning on the inside is that low-toned whistle someone does when they are impressed at something cool or awesome. The context matters; something interesting has to have happened for that sound to be pleasant for me. (Thinking back to “Hellsing Ultimate” when Alucard fought Luke Valentine.)

10. What was the first fandom you were involved in?

I guess it was digimon.

I can’t say I truly had a great time being there and I’m glad I have stepped away from it now.

11. Describe your idea of a perfect day!

On a good day I would wax poetic but... I’m very very tired today.

I want a warm cup of milk tea and a lazy day in bed while playing my favorite MMO and listening to a podcast of a guy with a good narrative voice read classic short stories. Which is exactly what I’m going to do today after a good nap. :)

I tag: @apurplemoth @squeakybat

Questions:

1. Favorite art technique that you do, or favorite thing(s)/part(s) to draw.

2. A skill you would like to learn?

3. Anything you like to study the most at your leisure?

4. Favorite childhood picture book?

5. Every been on a plane or ship/boat?

6. If you could be something not-human, be it animal or mythical creature, what would you envision yourself being?

7. Favorite constellation?

8. Preferred toppings on a pizza? (I won’t judge; I do white sauce with sausage, mushrooms, and pineapples OR cranberries, so...)

9. A song that comes to mind this very moment, on whim.

10. Preferred fashion for yourself?

11. A character you really like at the moment, and maybe why?

[bees-for-the-wildmother]

The 100 Ask Game

I was tagged by the wonderful @thehundredtimesobsessed​ forever ago (or what feels like it, but I’m finally getting around to it today.

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?

Probably Agro. My mom’s side of the family definitely has a green thumb.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

Umm...theft?

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

No. No, I would not.

4. What would the Necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh…)

DRAGON!  Dragons are my favorite.  Followed by red pandas, but I feel like a dragon would be better (I already own a few dragon necklaces).

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

Roan kom Azgeda - I miss him. <<< Same.  Possibly Wells, but I became much more attached to Roan (probably because he had more episodes)

6. Create a squad by of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Monty, and Murphy.  (This was basically pick your five favorite characters for me...)

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to?

Podakru - the Lake People...I’m just going on that based on where I live, i.e. a place where there are lakes

8.  What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Shilbi, I think that’s what they’d do with it.  I literally looked up to see if they even had a “sh” sound in their language; right when I was about to lose hope and resigning myself to “Silbi” or the like, I found a phrase with “sh”.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

I didn’t like him from the beginning. I didn’t hate him initially, but he got two people killed yet survived his own idiocy or taking off his seat belt. I thought he was going to be a detriment to their survival because he would take stupid unnecessary risks to show off.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

Probably not.  My dad yells and me and my mom because we always need answers to motivations and the why of things.  I don’t think I would put something in my body without fully knowing what it is and the ramifications of taking it.

11. What character do you relate to most?

I want to say Harper, but also some Clarke.  In Harper, I see a lot of the traits I like about myself; in Clarke, I see a lot of the traits I don’t like about myself.

12. What character do you like the least?

This is difficult...I feel like it’s a cop out to say one of the villains of the show, but it’d probably be Cage Wallace.  I don’t know who it’d be out of the people who are still alive.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Charcoal grey jeans with a forest green v-neck t-shirt that has those criss-crossed strips of fabric, a dark brown leather jacket, and brown combat boots.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

...I don’t know...a mutant fox?

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

Probably like historian, archives, or teacher or something (based on my real life career path).

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Yeah, I’d do what I have to.  Probably would be admiring the ceiling as I did it, but I’d do it.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

I don’t know.  I feel like it there was a more ruthless, battle ready heda, the 100 (and the rest of the Ark) would have been in a worse position.

Wait! An answer came to me when I was looking at question twenty:  Lincoln!  My friend and I liked to joke that Lincoln was one of the few characters with a head on his shoulders and realistic ideas and expectations for relations.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

I’d probably just be giggling, at EVERYTHING.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Definitely a more Bellamy Blake approach.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

Monty.  Monty is another character who had a good head on his shoulders.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

Kane’s side. No question.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

Maybe a kindle if they had that.  They probably would have different books than the Ark had, or the grounders.  Give me all the books.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

Probably a couple tribal tattoos on my arms, maybe connecting with something spanning my shoulders and upper back.  Definitely ALL the braids; I already wear braids in my hair a lot, but I think they would just get more intricate for the grounder style. Some nice, swirling black warpaint around my eyes when I have to go to battle.

24. Favorite quote?

For someone who regularly collects quotes (though usually from books), I don’t actually have one.  But a quick internet search and choosing quickly, I’ll say a favorite is, “I say, screw fear. I’m telling my own damn story.” (Bellamy Blake, 1.13). It reminds me a little of my one of my favorite song lyrics, “I’m the hero of the story; don’t need to be saved,” from “Hero” by Regina Spektor, which is actually a pretty decent song for the show.

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

I’m gonna go with Clarke.  She’s smart and tactical and she does what she has to do. But if it came down to a straight up fight, probably Luna; she’d have the knowledge to survive the land and the talent to survive the fight.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Miller/Jackson - It just came out of nowhere, with no build up, and I like to see how things unfold, especially relationships, and so I’m being stubborn about them trying to tell me it’s a thing. Zaven - All I wanted was for Raven to finally find someone who could make her happy and show her what she could should have. So, yeah, I’m in denial and not the happiest person right now. (I haven’t even watched the new season yet--I know, I know, I’m a horrible fan, but I was sick and then busy catching up on life--and this is something that got spoiled for me even though I’ve been trying to avoid tumblr for a week; I blame Critical Role for encouraging me to go on Tumblr last Thursday) Minty - I found the ship in fanfiction and jumped on board quickly and happily.

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

I’m going with the song that I actually used as a title to one of my fanfics, “Heathens” by Twenty One Pilots. (I also just am bad at knowing songs, so this I’ll stick with what I already know fits with the story)

Celebrities, another of my knowledge downfalls--seriously, if you ever want a guaranteed win in a trivia game against me, go with Pop Culture as the topic.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

Play card games? Drink? There wasn’t a whole lot to do.

29. Your an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?  

You wouldn’t actually see me die, I’d just be one of the bodies bloody and lying on the ground.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

I think it’s actually Echo and/or Emori, both would be best; I’m curious about everyday life on the ground before the timeline of the show.

31. A character you’d bang?

Can I say all of them? If I have to select someone I‘d choose Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, or Roan. Basically the same answer as Toni.  Ooo, I’m adding Lincoln to the list, too.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

Assuming I could survive it (nightblood), Eden. I need my green and I don’t mind being alone, though I’d probably still talk to the radio or the animals or plants.

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

Yup. I’m a follower.  Read, draw, think up stories.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

These questions keep asking me questions with the assumption that I am not Lawful Good down to my core.  I have no idea what law/rule I would willfully break and what the circumstances would have to be for me to do it.

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

Harper, no doubt about it. Probably more so Murphy wouldn’t get along with me.  He’d catch me making a face at something he said, and I didn’t honestly mean anything by it, my face just reacts, and he’d hold a grudge against me for a while.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

If I had survival skills (know what to eat, how to find it, etc.) probably a long time. If I tried it at this exact moment, not very long at all.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

Run, hide, observe, freak out. I don’t know.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

Shaw.  (Why must all the good ones go?) Vinson, he was creepy AF.

39. Would you Spacewalk?

Assuming I could do it when it wasn’t illegal, yeah!

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

Windshield bugs. I was about to say Space Algae, but then I thought about the texture it’d be, and I’m pretty sure it’d be the texture that makes me gag when I try to eat it.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

Yeah no, I don’t want to go to war.  I would try to work out a way to share it.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

I think I’d stick a thumb drive into a bullet hole.  The first is turning my stomach to think about, but somehow the second isn’t doing the same.

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

 Gut reaction against it, but that’s because I love my sister and she’s the sweetest.  But if she did what Octavia did and had that personality, probably, as long as I knew she wouldn’t be killed by it. What they did seemed to work...?

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

Sleep in cryo.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

Clarke and Bellamy, Raven and Shaw, Murphy and Miller. <<Same, probably Emori too, she’s resourceful. 

I’m not gonna tag anyone because chances are they already did this while I’ve been avoiding Tumblr and so I missed their answers. But if anyone hasn’t done this and wants to, please tag me in your post!  I want to see what other people have to say!

[codylabs]

Chapter 16: New Missions

Links: P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

The journal of the alien robot Ɖg@}Nᶌ (or ‘Barney’, as they called him), and the story of his life, love, death and legacy finally concluded. Dipper and Wendy’s scanned past the last words, and they stood up and looked at each other.

“Huh.” Wendy said.

“Oh.” Dipper agreed.

Wendy looked around the interior of the ship/house thing. Back in ancient times, this glass and metal chamber had served as the home of these two bizarre creatures. She found it kind of odd and kind of funny that in the end, they were nothing but farmers. Estranged and alien farmers, castaway from their home and hounded by trouble, but nonetheless their lives seemed oddly human, even ordinary in a way. And their deaths were now no mystery either; he had died in battle, out in the forest or deep beneath the ground. His wife and child had died in this very room; their blood still stained the mattress of the bed.

“So…” Wendy shrugged, and addressed their unseen ghosts out loud. “So… Wow. Rough life, huh? Hey… Hey uh…” She frowned. What do you even say to ghosts? “Like, what’s up? How’s it going…?”

From between and within the walls of the ship, there came echoing a clanking, scraping and banking, like a person stumbling across a room, then easing themselves to a seat. Dipper and Wendy’s eyes darted back and forth, searching for the source that wasn’t there.

The room’s lights began to flicker. Dark then light then dark then light, dancing and changing through the space. In between flashes, Dipper caught something in the corner of his eye; a pale figure reclining against the wall, not 10 feet from them. Wendy noticed it too and they turned suddenly, startled by its appearance. It seemed to flicker in and out of the room with the lights, just on the threshold of their ability to focus on it. Its head turned towards them, and stared with empty eyes.

From what Dipper could tell, the rest of its body was about what you’d expect: a very vaguely humanoid robot, with saws and spines and treads and claws; a wide head, thin arms with gears in the moints. Same layout and design as the lions, but smaller, thinner, upright, and with a piercing, intelligent gaze.

A second, slightly smaller figure could now be distinguished alongside the first, floating in the space above the ancient bed, as if sitting up on it without quite touching. The second figure rested its elbows on its knees, and cocked its head to one side.

The room went totally dark again, and Dipper began to notice noises. He heard the sound of his and Wendy’s agitated breathing. He heard the sound of his walkie-talkie warbling and cooing and clicking, as it responded to the whispered words of some incorporeal radio signal. Dipper thought the signals sounded like voices…

Then, quite apart from the radio, he heard the sound of typing. Invisible fingers at work on an invisible keyboard.

Wendy noticed as words began to appear on Ford’s tablet. She elbowed Dipper to draw his attention to them.

-Hello. The words read. -Now you know our story.

“Ooh.” Wendy said. “Duuuude…” She elbowed him again. “Type something!”

“I don’t know what to type—”

“Just say hi or something! This is, like, the first time in ever that a ghost isn’t actively trying to haunt our butts. I think they’re just saying ‘greetings’ or some alien thing.”

“Oh… Okay…” Dipper bent over and began to type. -Greetings. Hi. We read your story. How’s it going? My name is Dipper. I’m Dipper Pines.

“And this is Wendy.” Wendy added.

-And this is Wendy. Dipper typed.

The invisible hands began to type again. -Hello Dipper. Hello Wendy. I suppose you know me as Betty. And this is Barney. We welcome you to our home… Or what was our home once… It has been an eternity since we’ve had visitors…

-Thanks. Dipper typed, then tried to wipe the sweat from his palms. “Uh… Uh… What should I say now?”

“I got this.” Wendy bent past him, and typed. -We found the directions you left in the main wreck, and came here looking for answers. It’s nice to finally get some, and nice to finally meet you guys.

There was a brief pause. -We’re dead, by the way. Appeared on the screen.

-Yeah. Wendy typed. -We kinda gathered that part. You know, since it’s been a jillion years since you were alive and all.

-A ‘jillion’…? What’s that?

“Uh… Okay… I got this.” Dipper sat back forward, and began typing. -Figure of speech. He said. -And we’re sorry, by the way. We didn’t know this ship thing was haunted when we got here, so we’re sorry for barging in. And… This is the first time we’ve ever talked to a dead alien, so… Sorry if we sound awkward.

The signal from the walkie-talkie sounded almost like laughter.

-You’re good. Appeared on the screen. -This is my first time talking to whatever the you are, so… Sorry if we sound awkward too.

“Huh.” Dipper looked at Wendy. “They’re chill.” He said. “They’re alien robot ghosts, but they’re, like, totally chill…” -Thanks for being chill. He typed.

-So. The typing stopped for a minute, and when it resumed, it was lighter and faster. -This is Barney now. You both have read my journal. You know who we are, and how it came to be that we’re no long here. But now, if you don’t mind me asking, who are YOU? I saw your read blood, Wendy, when you first came in. From it, I knew that you are neither the mimic nor her spawn… So I just have to ask, what the heck are you?

“Oh, us…?” Wendy looked at Dipper.

“Uh…” Dipper looked at Wendy.

-We’re natives. Dipper typed, looking back at the ghosts. -This planet’s dominant intelligent race.

“Yeah.” Wendy agreed. “And we call ourselves humans. Type that.”

-We call ourselves… Humans. Dipper added.

“And the collective noun is ‘humanity’.” Wendy added. “Say that too.”

“Why would they want to know the collective noun?” Dipper shook his head.

-What’s the collective noun? Barney asked.

-Humanity. Dipper hastily typed.

-Wait. Barney typed. -You’re both humans?

“Uh… Yeah…?” Dipper frowned.

“Yeah… Well mostly.” Wendy agreed. “I mean, logically there’s probably some Sasquatch on my dad’s side, but, like, you can’t even tell.”

“Wait… What?”

“Never mind! Okay, just…” Wendy shoved past him and typed. -Yes. We’re both humans. Why do you ask?

-All I meant to say is that you two don’t look much alike, so I wasn’t sure if you were the same species or whatever.

-What do you-- Dipper began.

“Oh, hold on! I think they mean this.” Wendy set down her helmet and took off her backpack, and unbuckled her shoulder pads to show beneath them. -Yeah. She typed. -This is just armor and clothes. Humans always wear clothes, and then we put on armor too when we’re going somewhere dangerous. Our skin is all pinkish brown underneath though.

Dipper hiked up his own armor, to show the similarity.

-Oh… The ghosts said. -Betty thought the armor was your skin.

-Common mistake. Dipper lied.

-And what’s that fuzzy stuff?

-That’s hair.

-Oh.

The four of them sat there in awkward silence for a good minute, while they thought about what to say next. Wendy picked her nose.

-Hi, this is Betty again. So, what brings you here?

-Curiosity. Dipper typed.

-Xenocide. Wendy typed.

Dipper blinked and looked at her worriedly. “Well…” He frowned. “I guess you could say it like that, but…”

-Xenocide? There was a sudden sound like glass shattering, and the ghostly image of Barney appeared before them, with his arms crossed, his eyes blazing, and his head cocked to one side. -Did your machine translate that correctly?

“Look.” Wendy buckled her armor back up, and bent over the computer. -I never expected to say this to alien robot ghosts, especially not ones as scary-looking as you guys, but honestly, you seem like decent people. Really. You do. I think that you did a lot of the right things for the right reasons, you were kind when it counted and you served justice when it counted… Kudos. Seriously kudos. You’ve had a rough time, and by my reckoning, you were the good guys.

Barney shrugged.

-That being said… Wendy continued. -You made some mistakes. Don’t hate on me for this, but look. The think you’ve built here… This overgrown metal farm thing. It shouldn’t be here. It’s bad.

-Why? Barney inquired.

-You know what we call it? Wendy asked. -We call it the ‘Forest of Daggers’. Why? Because every life-form native to this planet gets cut and sliced by it. See my arms? See all the little scratches? That was just from clearing the brush off the top of your house to get inside. And see my man Dipper’s face? Wendy gestured over her shoulder. -He got that when we were swarmed by your little Piranha Spiders about two hours ago.

The ghost of Betty appeared beside Barney, and bent over a computer terminal. -They must have gone wild… She typed. The buttons on the keyboard didn’t move beneath her ghostly fingers, but they sounded like they did. -We raised those for eggs…

-Yeah, well, sucks! Wendy spread her arms in an exasperated way. -The point is that your Piranha Spider Chickens are dangerous! They’re sharp and they’re aggressive and us native wusses are liable to get ATE. And that’s not even to MENTION the giant drilling worms that almost crushed us, and the smaller bugs that nibble us, and of course the lions…

“Yeah…” Dipper nodded. “One of your giant cat things really hurt Wendy’s dad. And hurt my sister too. Those saws are… Saws.”

“Yeah.” Wendy agreed, and stood up from the computer. “Check it out.” She pulled off the glove on her right hand, and then peeled the bandage off her index finger. Then she held up the stitched-up gash to show the ghosts. “See this? A little cub nicked me there the first time I picked it up. Just a touch. Just a tap. Tore me open. This is what your creatures do to our creatures.”

Betty nodded slowly.

-So this place you left behind. Wendy concluded. -It’s getting people hurt. So I’m real sorry. I know how much work you guys put into the place. I know how much it meant to you. Heck, you’re probably still really proud of it, even after you’re dead. But still… I think the best thing to do is destroy every last inch and ounce of it. She glanced at Dipper for support. “Like… You know… Help me out here, Dude.”

“Well…” Dipper shrugged, and began to type. -I think after all that’s happened, and everything we’ve all been through… She’s right.

The two ghosts disappeared. A shower of sparks erupted from the ceiling as the lights went out all through the ship, and the room fell dark again.

Wendy flipped on her headlamp, and sighed. “Welp. Guess they don’t like that.”

Dipper toggled on his flashlight, and unplugged Ford’s tablet. “We tried, huh?”

“Yeah… And besides.” Wendy shrugged helplessly. “What do you expect ghosts to do, huh?”

“I don’t know. Probably weren’t much more than a category 4 anyway…”

Robbie stopped the van in front of an utterly ordinary looking tree. “So… Like, how do you know it’s THIS utterly ordinary looking tree and not some OTHER utterly ordinary looking tree?” He asked.

“Oh, because THIS utterly ordinary looking tree is right where I remember it being.” Mabel opened the door and hopped out of the van. “And it has a weeeeeird little teeny-tiny branch way up there that kind of looks like a lever.”

Robbie got out and surveyed the lever. “Okaaaay…”

“So let’s throw rocks! You’ve thrown rocks at things, right?” Mabel bent down and picked up a rock.

“Well, maybe at people and cars sometimes…” Robbie picked up a stone as well.

“So getcherself a-lever-flippin’ sonny!” Mabel hurled her rock up at the lever, and it fell about 10 feet short.

As Robbie drew his arm back to throw, he got the strangest feeling that he was being watched. His eyes briefly swept the surrounding forest, but he didn’t see anything out of place. He didn’t even see the shadowy figure crouching at the top of a nearby tree, watching them with tired eyes.

Robbie snapped his arm back forward, and his rock contacted only 3 feet short of the lever.

Mabel threw again.

Robbie threw again.

So it continued for about 5 minutes, until their arms were sore, and Robbie was starting to consider whether there might be an easier way to flip an out-of-reach lever.

Finally one of their missiles contacted its target, and the weird branch was knocked upward.

With a click, a creak, and a hydraulic rumbling that seemed to shake the ground, the entire tree began to shift and shake and lower into the Earth. Mabel carelessly stepped up to the edge of the deepening gap as she waited for it to finish, while Robbie hauled the backpack of robotic samples out of his van and shouldered it over to the tree.

Eventually it lowered all the way, a staircase extended from the wall, and a door slid open at the very bottom. The noise stopped, and a deep hiss sounded somewhere far beneath.

Mabel found the entire thing charming yet overly complicated.

Robbie found it pretty sick all around.

“All right come on!” Mabel began to skip down the staircase with ease and carelessness.

Something rang true in the back of Robbie’s brain. Dipper’s words: If I ever again hear that you’ve accompanied my sister into danger, and haven’t protected her… I will find you. And I will beat you up…

“Hey, wait… Look… Hey Girl Dipper, wait up…!” Mabel turned around, but didn’t stop her descent. Robbie growled. “Look, just stop for a minute, okay!”

“Why?”

“’Why’? I mean I don’t know what this is! I want to know why we’re going down here, what’s down there, and… You know. What’s the plan? What are we even doing with these?” He pointed to the metal samples.

“Ah…” Mabel smiled and nodded, seeing that her loftly logic had fallen upon a deaf older brain. “So.” She said. “We’ve got to find a new and better, cooler place to plant the robot forest. We need some place where it will be totally safe, and where it will do a lot of good for humanity and science and bunnies.”

“Okaaay…” Robbie followed.

“But… I kind of realized we don’t have a great place for them yet.” Mabel explained. “We don’t have a place to move them were they can be happy. But since we don’t know what’s going to happen in the near future, and because basically my entire family went all paranoid-poopyhead about them… We need to save as many as we can now.”

“Sure… Okay…” Robbie frowned.

“So we’ll just start ferrying them down here!” Mabel gestured down the stairs. “Great Uncle Ford had a whole abandoned lab down here that he never goes into, and it’s got these really cool stasis tanks that can keep things harmlessly frozen for as long as we want! It’s basically perfect for what we need! Will you promise to keep it a secret, Robbie?”

“Uh… Sure…” Robbie shrugged. “But… I mean, why was it abandoned?”

“Oh… Ha! You know…” She shrugged and smiled, as if reminiscing of fond memories. “Probably just because everybody got sick of having to dodge the mashy-squashy security room that pulps anybody who can’t read alienese while playing hopscotch…” She pulled a paper out of her pocket showing dozens of bizarre hexagonal symbols, 4 of which were circled.

“WHAT.” Robbie said.

“Or maybe it’s because the stasis tanks are kind of prone to breaking down, and one of them holds an immensely powerful shapeshifting monster that’s strong enough to bend steel with its bare hands and hated humans ever since Ford found him as a kid and raised him in a cage feeding him nothing but beans and he also tried to murder us last Summer and made a hideous mockery of my flesh that still haunts me on dark nights when the wind is chill… That might be the other reason it’s abandoned.”

Robbie processed this slowly and steadily. “Um.” He finally said.

“Yeah.” Mabel smiled. “More importantly, I tried to get Wendy and Dipper to kiss by locking them in a closet, but instead they took a shower and fought Shifty. They never did kiss… I would have called it… Dipendy!”

“…Why not Wipper?”

“Ooh, that’s better, isn’t it? Or maybe Dipwenperdy! Just too bad it never worked out. But who knows what they’re doing now, AM I RIGHT? Wink wink!”

“They’re just off in the forest being all platonic and holier-than-thou.” Robbie groaned. “But back to the point: listen Girl Dipper: you seriously want us to go down into that dark, smelly hole there… Hopscotch aliensese or something dumb… And then just HOPE the crazy flesh-mocking monster hasn’t gotten out like it’s been prone to do…”

“Well when you say it like that it sounds like folly!” Mabel laughed. “But don’t worry; it’ll be fine! I think you’ll like Shifty anyway. He’s not so bad if you close your eyes and put caterpillars on your face.” She turned to continue down the stairs.

Robbie grabbed her arm.

She looked at him, confused.

“Uh…” Robbie stuttered. “Well… It’s just… Just no… Just NO! Look, we can’t go down there! It’s dangerous, and we don’t have cool weapons or grenades or dual-wielding rocket launchers or chainsaw whips or anything! What if we die??”

“Pssh! I’ve never died before in all the ones of times I’ve been down here! Trust me!”

“No.” He said. “We’re staying HERE.”

“Why?” She demanded.

“I… I made a promise, okay? To keep you safe.”

“Who made you promise?”

“…Your brother.”

“Oh…” She laughed it off. “He worries waaaaaay too much. And besides, what about all these metal plant and animals! We have to find a good place for them and you said you would help! We need to get them frozen down there.”

Robbie put on a scowl. A mighty scowl. A great, powerful, hideous scowl. A scowl greater than any scowl he’d ever scowled before; a scowl to put lesser scowlers to shame, and scowl itself right into the official scowling archives alongside the other legends of scowling history. Right as this scowl reached its climax, he spat out the word “FINE!”, grabbed the hopscotch code paper out of Mabel’s hand, shoved past her, and continued down the stairs.

She wiped his scowl-smelling spit off her face. “What…?” She frowned.

“I’ll do this!” Robbie explained over his shoulder. “You stay in the van and keep my dad’s shotgun handy! I’ll put all this stupid sci-fi trash into deep freeze and be out in an hour and if I’m not… Throw another rock and close it back up… Okay?”

“Oh…” Mabel frowned slowly. “But then you…?”

“Then get help or something! Your grandpa or that fat guy or Thompson maybe. But don’t you dare come in alone…”

He entered the door at the bottom, and it closed behind him.

Dipper and Wendy poked around the ship for about 5 more minutes, feeling more and more like unwelcome trespassers by the second. Finally Wendy gestured toward the exit hatch. “We should go…”

“Yeah…”

Just as they were about to exit, Dipper’s walkie turned back on, and emitted a single word, in a thick, mechanical accent. “WAIT…!”

They turned around, to see the two ghosts floating near the middle of the ship. Betty pointed back toward the computer console, and nodded toward Ford’s tablet.

Dipper plugged it back in. -S’up?

-We’ve been thinking. Betty responded. -And honestly, for a pair of hostile, heavily-armed aliens sent to destroy us and everything we hold dear… You seem like decent people.

-Oh. Dipper typed. -Thanks.

-And. Betty said. -Anyway, we’ve been thinking, and we’ve come to understand your point. Dipper, I’m sorry your sister got hurt. Wendy, I’m sorry you and your father were hurt. Both of you, we understand now. We didn’t think or plan that the lions would behave like that, and… I agree with you. And we think we may have a way to help.

Barney’s ghost stepped forward to type.

-You remember our journal? He said. -In order to move all the metal from the wreck to the farm, we had to modify the engines on the main wreck.

“Oh, yeah?” Dipper nodded.

“Wait, I was actually confused by that part.” Wendy turned to Dipper. “What exactly did they do? Use simple words for me; I’m not exactly a nerd…”

“Uh… The alien ships’ engines work by manipulating gravity.” Dipper said. “So they modified the ones on the big ship a little bit, and turned them into some kind of tractor beam.”

“A tractor beam… Like in Star Battles.”

“Uh… Yeah. I think so. Basically.”

“Oh.” Wendy nodded, happy that somebody used simple words. “Okay.”

-Yeah. We remember. Dipper typed.

-Those engines are still programmed on the settings we left them. Barney said. -So there is still a massive tractor beam focused on the farm. If you were to reactivate the engines, and turn them up to maximum power, the gravity flux would crush and destroy everything here. The bodies of the creatures here may be tough, but not that tough. The kinetic and potential energy of the implosion, combined with the mass short-circuiting of batteries, would generate enough heat to burn through the internal organs of every creature. Nothing would survive.

“Oooooh… Good plan.” Wendy pondered this new form of carnage. “Like a reverse nuke; crushing instead of exploding.”

“And no radiation; that’s convenient.” Dipper added.

“Yeah. Radiation would be inconvenient.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

-Okay. Dipper typed. -We get it. So we just have to get back to the main wreck, and turn things on?

-Well. Barney shrugged. -Not quite. At the other end of the home, a compartment on the floor opened on its own, tossing aside an ancient carpet and a layer of dust. Dipper and Wendy’s lights rotated to view it. -Obviously, we couldn’t have the shapeshifter using that kind of power against us. So we removed the power control coupling that runs the ship’s last reactor.

Wendy reached in to the open hatch, and removed a small machine; about the size of a motorcycle engine.

-You’ll need to reinstall that before operation, and that may be difficult. Do you know anyone with experience in this type of technology? Probably not…

-Actually, yes. Dipper said. -I think I might know a guy.

-Excellent… I think that’s everything you need…

-Sweet.

Barney paused for a moment in thought. -There is just one last thing I’d like to ask of you, Dipper and Wendy.

-What’s that?

-There was an act I never completed in my life, a mission whose threat has hounded my soul for an eternity now.

-Killing the shapeshifter. Dipper guessed.

-Killing the shapeshifter. Barney nodded. -After Betty died, I went out to face her… Well, she killed me. She’d learned from our first encounter, and figured out exactly how to annihilate me. It was rapid, it was painful, and I was powerless to stop it. The mimic is strong, fast, versatile, intelligent, and merciless… And the last time I saw her, she had an egg with her.

-I understand. Dipper typed.

-So… It’s a silly thing, I know. There’s no way she or her child could possibly have survived this long, seeing how the stasis systems in the main wreck are completely trashed… But… I would very much like some closure for that. For me, for my people, and for humanity too I suppose… I would like to know that she, and her spawn, are most certainly dead.

-Actually. Dipper chuckled to himself as he typed. -I don’t know if the mom survived, but we believe her child did… We have him imprisoned in a bunker.

-Oh. Betty and Barney exchanged a look.

-Kill it. Barney typed. -For your own sakes.

-I understand.

“So what is this stupid thing? It’s heavy.” Wendy said, and she hefted the power control coupling over her shoulder like a solid steel backpack. “Use small words, remember.”

“That’s… That’s the key. The key to start up the tractor beam.” Dipper said. “And we’ll probably need McGucket. And they also want us to find out how the shapeshifter survived for as long as he did, find out what happened to his mom, and to kill him.”

Wendy took this in. “Oh.” She nodded. “Okay.”

She turned and carried the coupling off toward the home’s exit.

-So I guess this is goodbye then? Dipper typed.

-I guess it is. Barney agreed.

-Don’t see a reason to stick around after my haunted house gets smashed. Betty added. -Boooooring.

-Ha ha. Yeah. Dipper laughed (although he had no idea how to relate with a ghost’s problems.)

-I’m glad I met you. Barney said, and gestured to Wendy. -Tell your brother that I think you’re both men of honor.

-Oh, uh… He’s not my brother. He’s a she, and she’s my partner. Just a girl I like. He sat there looking at the words for a second, wondering why on Earth he typed them.

-You old enough to marry?

-What? No! Well, I guess I'm old enough to date maybe, but I don’t want to ask her out. It’s awkward and I’m kinda scared and I don’t think she likes me.

Barney’s ghost leaned over and nudged him in the shoulder with an intangible robotic elbow. -Dude, don’t be a dork! Ask her out!

“Gah!” Dipper jumped, and tried to push the intangible robotic head out of his personal space, though his hand passed right through. “I don’t… Uh… Huh?!? Dude! Shush!” He said out loud.

“Huh?” Wendy looked back at them.

“Nothing!”

-Nothing!

“Ugh.” She turned away.

-Dude, come on. Dipper typed.

-Ha ha. Get out of here, man.

The sanitation airlock finished its cycle, and Robbie stepped hesitantly into the cave.

It was about 10 times scarier than he’d first expected, (which is really saying something because he was expecting a lava floor). But he took a deep breath or two or three, and continued carefully into the chamber. The only sound was the distant dripping of water, and the only light came from little red status indicators, and ancient florescent bulbs.

There were the stasis tubes… Some were intact, some were cracked, and some of them were in such a dirty, overgrown ruin that he couldn’t quite tell. He stepped up to one of the intact ones, opened the hatch, and tossed the pile of Mabel’s samples inside. When he slammed the hatch shut, the freezing process automatically started up. All he had to do was get back out to the control room and make sure everything was still in order. Easy enough…

But then he realized he should probably get eyes on the monster first, just to make sure it was still frozen. He began wandering around the cave, peering into tunnels and crevices, inspecting every tank, looking and listening for any sign of the creature.

Then eventually, he realized that he’d checked all the tanks 3 times already. Even the broken ones. There was nothing in any of them.

He began to feel the first hints of panic creeping up his spine. His breath started to quicken, and his skin began to moisten, and his eyes began to dart ever more rapidly around the walls.

A decrepit florescent light flickered tiredly in his peripheral vision, and he spun to face it with a gasp. Another one flickered to his right, and he spun again. Geez, it’s just the lights. This place is terrible on the nerves.

I shouldn’t have come alone…

I shouldn’t have come alone…

I shouldn’t have come alone!

He turned about in a circle. Was it watching him? Was it stalking him? How big was it? How strong was it? How scary was it really? How many eyes did it have? Was it spidery? He wasn’t good with spiders.

He picked an old steel pipe off the floor, and held it at the ready. Dipper beat it once right? And if that scrawny brat can, how tough can it be?

I can take it…

I can take it…

I can take it!

“SH-SHOW YOURSELF!” Robbie demanded, and silently cursed himself for stuttering.

Much to his surprise and horror, a voice answered him. It was hoarse and angry, and it screamed at him from one of the tunnels. “YEAH?” It said. “Come and get me then, you freak! I’m ready this time!”

Robbie’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest, and he almost fell flat on his behind. But he wasn’t so startled that a voice had answered him; he was surprised that he recognized the voice.

“W… Wendy?” He asked.

“Yeah, it’s me! Woop-dee-FLIPPIN’-doo, you figured out my friggin NAME!” The voice screamed at him. “You tryin’ to scare me with THAT? Not working! Now come on! Come at me! I’m not afraid! Not afraid… I’m… I’M NOT AFRAID!” As if to prove its own point, the voice’s source stepped out into the open.

Robbie stared at what looked to all the world like Wendy. She was missing her jacket and her hat, though there were a few green-flannel bandages on her arms and legs. Her undershirt and jeans were stained and torn and sagging on her body, and as for the rest of her, she just looked terrible. She was emaciated and pale, with bags under her eyes and tangles in her hair, and scratches and scars all over her haggered body. Both her boots were missing, along with one of her socks. Her feet were tied in rags to replace them.

In her hand was clutched some kind of improvised bow, with a bent arrow cocked on the frayed string. A sharpened piece of metal was tucked into her belt, and another was tied to each of her wrists.

“But THIS time it’s DIFFERENT!” Wendy said, and took a few steps toward Robbie. “This time… THIS time I’m walkin’ out of here with your SKULL, you hear me, Shifty? I’m gonna KILL you and I’m gonna rip off your head and spit down your neck and I ain’t gonna be your plaything no more and I’m gonna… I’m gonna… Come on you freak, come on…”

“Woah, woah, woah, hey I’M not the shapeshifter!” Robbie took a few steps back from the feral Wendy. “Like… Like YOU’RE the shapeshifter! Like, they trapped you down here, and now you look like Wen-”

“WHAT THE HECK?!?” Wendy shook her bow threateningly. “The heck kind of game are you playing here? What do you want out of me? What you plannin’ on doing with me this time, huh? And dressed like that?”

“Like… I’m not the shapeshifter!” Robbie brought the pipe up between him and Wendy’s weapon, as if he honestly believed he could block an arrow in midair. “Stop calling me that, it’s me! It’s Robbie! And, like… Wendy’s not even down here so you’re obviously the shapeshifter…! Like, why are we having this convers-”

“WHAT?” Wendy took a few steps closer, and Robbie took a few steps back. Then he tripped on a pipe and fell on his butt, and began crawling backwards away from her. “You…” Wendy frowned, noticing his all-too-human clumsiness and fear. “You…” Her shaking hands slowly lowered the arrow from the bow. “You… Robbie…? You’re… Real?”

“Yeah I’m real, you’re the fake one!” Robbie staggered to his feet, and brought the pipe back up.

“Say…” Wendy’s eyes searched his. “Say something only Robbie would say!”

“Uh… Uh… Like…” Robbie frowned, and hesitantly admitted. “I’m… Sorry for hypnotizing you…”

Wendy shook her head. “Oh… Okay.” She said. “Okay… Okay dude if that’s really you then you need to get out NOW!”

“Wait… What?”

“It’ll be coming back at any time! It could… Okay, who knows you’re down here? Who sent you? Who tricked you? Was it something that looked like someone you trusted? Did it look like me??”

“I kinda came here on my own and there was just Girl Dipper…”

Wendy rushed up to him, grabbed his shoulders, and began shoving him toward the exit. “Then you need to get OUT! It’ll be coming back and…”

“Hold on, hold on!” Robbie put a hand against her chest and pushed her away. He was surprised by how weak and light she was. Wendy was usually kind of strong, wasn’t she? “Like, I think you have some explaining to do!” Robbie said. “You said you’re the real Wendy? Then how’s she up there too? Because last I checked Wendy was fine and wasn’t all… Crazy and sick and whatever and…”

“’She’? ‘She’ is up there? Come on! Come on… It… It took my life too…” Wendy sunk to her knees. “It took my life…”

“It… Oh… Uh… Really?”

“Come on…” Wendy shook her head, and there were tears in her eyes. She tried to wipe them away but instead they just smeared. “It… Nobody could tell? Nobody could tell the difference…?”

“Well…” Robbie shrugged. “I mean, you… Really? The Wendy I’ve been talking to was fake? How long did…?”

“You haven’t noticed anything different about ‘me’ in the past 6 months…?” Wendy sobbed. “REALLY?!? NOTHING?!?”

“Uh…” Robbie thought back. “I guess… You haven’t been spending as much time with us guys… And… You quit your job at the Mystery Shack… And you’ve been getting into a lot of adventures and stuff and… I thought that seemed cool considering all that happened last Summer… But it did kind of seem like you were becoming a dork… I guess…”

“And…” Wendy punched the ground. “AND YOU DIDN’T THINK ANYTHING WAS WRONG?!?”

“Well…” Robbie looked at the woman hunched on the ground in front of him. And it first really, truly dawned on him that this WAS the real Wendy. “Oh… Like, sorry… Uh… I mean, woah… I mean wow, I’m really sorry Wendy! Like, how did this happen? When did it switch? How did you get stuck down here?”

Wendy sniffled through her nose. “Nobody was looking for me… Nobody noticed anything… Robbie, did my parents notice anything?”

“Your parents? No-”

Wendy stood up. “THEN HOW ABOUT DIPPER?!? HE—HE MUST HAVE…”

“No.” Robbie frowned. “That moron didn’t see a thing. I was the first one to find you.”

She buried her face in her hands and walked in a short little circle, before picking up a rock and throwing it against a wall. “Okay…” She said. “Okay, you need to get out of here, Robbie. Get out of here, and play dumb to everyone else until you can talk to Dipper on the down-low. Then you can stage a rescue plan, but until then…”

“Wait, why can’t you come now then? I have the airlock all unlocked, and…”

“BECAUSE!” Wendy pulled up her shirt to show a crooked red scar across her chest. “It put a tracker in me! Believe me, I’ve tried to get out of here alone, and it doesn’t work! It…! It’s not pretty, okay?!? And it promised to do the same thing to my family next time…! So…!”

“What… Wait, what’s it doing to you? Why’s it keeping you alive?”

“Look, I don’t want to talk about it!” Wendy gestured down to the scars and scratches over her body. “Half of it I don’t understand, and the other half I don’t want to talk about! Look, just get Dipper!” She grabbed him again and shoved him toward the airlock. “I can’t have what happened to me happen to you too!”

“Oh… Okay…!” Robbie turned to leave, a little overwhelmed and horrified at the situation.

Before he could properly gather his thoughts, Wendy grabbed him again. “Wait… No… Wait.” She said as she brought him to a stop. Robbie turned back to face her. She met his eyes and held them for a minute. Slowly, her head sunk to his shoulder, and she hugged him. “Robbie…” She mumbled. “It’s… It’s really great to see someone… See you… Again… Thanks for coming… Thanks…”

“Uh… Uh yeah.” He hugged her back. “No problem. I’ll… Like, I’ll spring you from this joint, okay? We’ll kill the monster and then…”

“Like okay, what’s been happening?” She asked.

“Huh?”

“Back on the surface? How’s Dipper doing? How’s Mable doing? And… What’s been going on with you?”

“Oh… Uh… Well the dorks just got back into town like… A week ago… Yeah, a week I think… And Dipper and… The Shifter went off adventuring… Thinking it was you of course… They all thought it was you… And I’m not sure all of what they’ve been doing, but they found this… Like, weird sci-fi robot forest place off in the normal forest place… And there were giant robot cat things that sawed people… Girl Dipper tried to befriend one of them, but it ended up attacking her I guess, and then there was this whole big deal with the…”

Robbie summarized most of his experiences in the past week, relating everything he’d seen and heard of the Forest of Daggers and its denizens, bitterly recalling Dipper’s hostility and jerk-headedness, Mabel’s imaginary romance, his grudging promise to keep her safe, and everything up to the present hour.

Wendy listened, and she memorized every word.

“And how about you?” She asked. “You been holding up okay?”

“Uh… Yeah… Tambry and I are still going steady. I’ve got a part in a band, actually.”

“Oh wow, really? That’s pretty cool! Still playing the same instruments?”

“Yeah, still guitar. Got a pretty sweet new one, though… Man, it’d be cool to show you…”

“Any… Any gigs coming up?”

“Yeah, that’s the funny thing; I was gonna have a concert tonight…”

“Oh woooow… Where at?”

“Over in Boring. A little drive, but not too bad. I was gonna head over there once I helped Girl Dipper with her stupid thing…”

“Yeah… Huh… How’s things with… You know, your parents?”

“UGH don’t get me started…” Robbie shook his head. “You really didn’t miss a thing there; I’ll tell you that much… Still just the same douche-bags as always. Glad to get out of town for a while, really.”

“I feel you…” Wendy laughed half-heartedly. “How’s the…” Her voice got small. “How’s the sun?”

“The sun?” Robbie frowned, thinking that was an awfully weird question. Then he realized how long she’d been trapped here underground, and then he really understood her meaning. “Oh, it’s… It’s still the sun. Nothing changed there. Still hot; still bright. Still… Pretty beautiful, I mean… Okay, don’t worry Wendy. I’ll bust you out of here before too long…”

“Thanks…” Wendy took a breath and nodded. “Hey…” She wiped her nose and pointed to Robbie’s phone. “Maybe you could leave your phone with me…? I mean, you could find another one, and we could communicate…?”

“Uh… Oh sure!” Robbie pulled out his phone and handed it to her.

She turned it on, and began flipping through the apps, trying to familiarize herself with how the gadget worked. “I mean, can’t get wi-fi down here but…” Robbie shrugged. “I think I have like, 1 bar of cell service… Want me to bring down a charger too?”

“Naw, this’ll do for now…” After finding the messenger app with its text history, Wendy pocketed the phone with a little smile.

Then she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Hey… Thanks for everything, Robbie.”

“Uh…” He smiled, and rubbed his cheek, not quite sure whether he should be thinking about Tambry or kissing Wendy back. “Yeah.” He shrugged. “No prob or whatever… If you need anything just call Tambry I guess…”

“Yeah… Hey.” Wendy straightened up. “Speaking of which, did you bring any food? Like, I’ve been living off of rationed beans down here and… I’m just really, really hungry…”

“Oh…” Robbie searched around in his pockets, but his hands found nothing but his wallet and a gothic keychain. “Girl Dipper probably has some candy up in my van, but I didn’t bring any food with me…”

“No food on you?” Wendy tilted her head to one side.

“Naw, sorry…”

“Well…” Wendy smiled. Her teeth were longer than they were a second ago, and razor sharp. She’d also become about a foot taller than normal. “I guess that’s one final time you’re wrong today.”

Mabel looked up as Robbie appeared at the top of the stairs from the bunker; still looking super slouchy and gothic, but minus one backpack. With a grumpy mutter, he opened the driver-side door, and settled in.

“Soooooooo…?” Mabel kicked her feet. “How’s Shifty? Still frozenified?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Robbie grumbled. “Still just sitting in the tube. Didn’t move an inch.”

“Hmm… Nevertheless, it’s time for my… Skepticles…” Mabel put on her skepticles and leaned over into Robbie’s face. “What took you so long down there?”

“Geez, get away from me.” Robbie shrugged her off. “I was watching the monster, waiting for to move, all right? Like… That thing is freaky, and I wanted to make sure it was frozen. Like, what if it was moving every time you looked away, right? Like those stone statue things in Dr. What or something… You know?”

“Yeaaaaah…” Mabel giggled. “I wouldn’t put it past him; he’s a pretty clever guy and…”

Waddles suddenly popped his head up from the back seat, and looked straight at Robbie. His nose wiggled, and he began to make a series of worried little grunting noises.

Mabel looked from Waddles, to Robbie, to Waddles, and finally back to Robbie.

“What’s his problem?” Robbie frowned at the pig with his characteristic distaste.

“Hmm…” Mabel stroked her chin. “I think he thinks you smell weird… Or different…”

“Well yeah, of course I smell weird!” Robbie growled as he held up his shoe, and showed her the bottom. “I was stepping through puddles of weird sci-fi ooze down there! Like, how long was that monster free? And did he ever have, like, a toilet to use…?”

“GROOOOOS! Robbie!” Mabel covered her ears as Waddles snorted, and ducked back down into hiding. “Waaaait…” Mabel glanced at Waddles, then put her skepticles back on. “Hmm…” She said. “Say something that only Robbie would say.”

“Oh GEEZ now I have to deal with THIS…! Look kid: I did what you said, I froze the junk, and now suddenly I’m the bad guy? Lay off me, all right? You know it’s me…”

“Hmm… That was pretty good… But now do something even more Robbie-like…” Mabel skepticified.

“I hope you choke to death on your own puke.” Robbie grumbled, and turned to regard the van’s steering wheel.

“All right all right, you’re Robbie!” Mabel giggled and swung her legs again. “Now… Back to the Mystery Shack, my valiant chauffeur! Yah! Giddyap! Full speed ahead! HARD-A-STARBOARD!”

“Ugh…” Robbie turned back to regarding the steering wheel, as if it slightly confused him. Slowly, a small smile played across the corner of his mouth. “Say…” He finally grunted. “Do you want to drive?”

“Wait… What?” She tilted her head.

“It’s been a crazy day.” Robbie shrugged. “A little more crazy won’t hurt anything. You wanna give it a whirl?”

“What, like a date?” Mabel frowned.

“Uh…” He didn’t really see how that logic connected. “Daaaaaate… Suuuuure…?”

“Then sure!” Mabel unbuckled and jumped up. “Man, this is so cray-cray…! Can I sit on your lap? I’m gonna sit on your lap! I need to sit on your lap because I can’t reach the pedals! That’s why!”

“Uh… Geeeez… Fine. Kay… But since you’re the one driving, you have to tell me ‘leftfoot/rightfoot’…”

“Mabel accepts this mighty challenge!” Mabel said, as she crawled across the center console to sit on Robbie’s lap and accept the mighty challenge. “Attention First Mate Leg Officer! Present to me the keys!” She held out her hand, and Robbie placed the keys in them.

The van started.

“Okaaaay…” Mabel frowned. “Now give me a hint!”

“No hints.” Robbie scoffed. “I’m just the Leg Officer.”

“Okay… Right foot then!” Mabel declared. “That’s the gas, right?”

Robbie hit the gas and the van revved.

“Oops, okay…” Mabel tried to shift it into ‘drive’. “Hmm… The lever doesn’t work… Oh yeah, you have to push the brake to flip the lever! Left foot!”

Robbie pressed the brake and the van shifted into drive.

“Right foot!”

The van revved again.

“Come on Robbie don’t be dumb! Un-foot the left whenever you foot the right!”

“Naturally.” Robbie said.

The van lurched forward.

“And not so hard!”

“Naturally.”

The van slowed to a crawl.

“Harder than that!”

“Naturally.”

The van accelerated down the road.

“Now where’s the turn blinker?”

“Well, I don’t know Captain; where IS the turn blinker?”

“You know what, Robbie?” Mabel turned them up the road, and toward the light of the sinking sun. “I was kind of thinking you’re not such a fun guy, but I was wrong! You ARE fun!”

“Qr irrg rq brx?” Zhqgb wlowhg khu khdg wr rqh vlgh.

“Qdz, vruub…”

“Zhoo…” Zhqgb vplohg. Khu whhwk zhuh orqjhu wkdq wkhb zhuh d vhfrqg djr, dqg udcru vkdus. Vkh’g dovr ehfrph derxw d irrw wdoohu wkdq qrupdo. “L jxhvv wkdw’v rqh ilqdo wlph brx’uh zurqj wrgdb.”

“Zdlw… Zkdw?” Ureelh iurzqhg. Wkhq kh qrwlfhg wkh fkdqjhv frplqj ryhu Zhqgb’v ergb, dqg klv vploh glvdsshduhg. “ZRDK, kxk??” Wkhq wkh wuxwk gdzqhg rq klp; wkh ixoo hawhqw ri klv huuru. “Qr… QR KHB! Jhw dzdb iurp ph!” Kh vwxpeohg edfnzdugv, dqg wxuqhg durxqg wr vsulqw iru wkh exqnhu’v halw.

Wkh fuhdwxuh zdv idvw hqrxjk wr vslq durxqg lq iurqw ri klp lq wkh wlph lw wrrn klp wr wxuq. Lw zdv rqob ydjxhob Zhqgb-olnh dw wklv srlqw, dqg prusklqj udslgob lqwr vrphwklqj zruvh. Ureelh wulhg rqfh pruh wr wxuq durxqg, exw wkh fuhdwxuh dsshduhg dkhdg ri klp djdlq. Kh wulhg wr edfn dzdb, exw klv edfnvlgh udq lqwr wkh zdoo ri wkh fdyh. Kh wulhg wr vzlqj klv slsh, exw lw erxqfhg kdupohvvob rii wkh fuhdwxuh’v ilup, zklwh pxfxv odbhu. “JHW DZDB!” Kh sohdghg. Wkh odvw wudfhv ri lwv Zhqgb irup kdg glvdsshduhg, dqg d vwudqjh, vkdus prxwk vplohg grzq dw klp.

Rqh ri lwv pdvvlyh fodzv vodvkhg iruzdug, dqg julsshg wkh iurqw ri Ureelh’v krrglh. Zlwk rqh kdqg, lw oliwhg klp lq wkh dlu. “Vhw ph grzq!” Ureelh bhoohg.

“Brx nqrz…” Wkh fuhdwxuh pxvhg, lq lwv wuxh yrlfh. “Brx fdph grzq khuh dorqh dqg xqduphg, brx dffhswhg pb olhv, brx wrvvhg dvlgh brxu vxvslflrqv, brx erxjkw lw doo xs… L wrog brx hyhubwklqj brx zdqwhg wr khdu, dqg lq uhwxuq, brx wrog ph hyhubwklqj L qhhghg wr nqrz… L zdqwhg wr odxjk iru prvw ri lw, lw zdv vr hdvb… Zkb wkh ghylo glg wkdw jluo hqolvw BRXU khos? Vkh vhhphg euljkwhu wkdq wkdw odvw wlph vkh zdv grzq khuh… Khk khk… Jhw lw? ‘Euljkwhu’? Ehfdxvh ri khu oljkw-xs vkluw? …Rk, qhyhu plqg. Gxpe sxq.”

“VF-VFUHZ BRX!” Ureelh jdvshg krduvhob.

“Qr, L’oo mxvw hdw brx.” Wkh vkliwhu fkxfnohg. “Exw vlqfh brx’yh khoshg ph, L’oo pdnh lw idvw dqg sdlqohvv. Forvh brxu hbhv.” Lw rshqhg lwv prxwk dqg uhdfkhg iru klv wkurdw.

“QR! QR SOHDVH! SOHDVH! KHOS!”

Vxgghqob, wkh fdyh zdv iloohg zlwk d eolqglqj iodvk ri eoxh oljkw.

Wkh vkliwhu eolqnhg dqg vkrrn klv khdg. Zkhq klv hbhv fdph edfn lqwr irfxv, kh irxqg wkdw klv fodz zdv hpswb, klv suhb jrqh. Kh iurzqhg, wklqnlqj wklv zdv d udwkhu xqfrqyhqwlrqdo wxuq ri hyhqwv.

Kh orrnhg ohiw. Kh vdz qrwklqj. Kh orrnhg uljkw. Kh vdz qrwklqj. Kh orrnhg doo durxqg. Qdgd. Wkh kxpdq zdv qrzkhuh wr eh vhhq.

Kh hasdqghg klv qrvh dqg hduv qrz, wr vfdq wkh fdyh zlwk doo klv vhqvhv. Mxvw rq wkh wkuhvkrog ri klv ehvw khdulqj, kh wkrxjkw kh frxog pdnh rxw d vwhdgb khduwehdw.

Dqg kh vphoohg vrphwklqj. Vrphwklqj rxw-ri-sodfh. Vrphwklqj… Kxpdqrlg? Vrphwklqj lq wkh edfn ri klv plqg uhjlvwhuhg wkh vphoo dv ydjxhob idploldu, exw kh frxogq’w txlwh sodfh lw.

Klv hbhv iroorzhg klv qrvh xs wrzdug wkh fdyh’v udiwhuv, dqg wkhuh kh irxqg klv wdujhw. Kljk deryh klp, fordnhg lq wkh vkdgrzv ri d zlgh vwhho ehdp, wkhuh furxfkhg d gdun dqg vlohqw iljxuh. Lw dsshduhg wr fduub vrph irup ri zhdsrq voxqj wr lwv edfn, dowkrxjk kh frxogq’w pdnh rxw pdqb ghwdlov lq wkh qhdu-shuihfw gdunqhvv. Kh frxog vhh uhiohfwlrqv iurp wzr hbhv.

Wkh iljxuh uhdfkhg lqwr lwv srfnhw dqg sxoohg rxw d vpdoo, ilvw-vlchg ghylfh.

Zlwk dqrwkhu iodvk ri eoxh oljkw, lw ydqlvkhg.

Wklv wlph, wkh vkliwhu ihow vrphwklqj lq klv fodz. D vpdoo vols ri sdshu, wkdw kdgq’w ehhq wkhuh ehiruh.

Kh xqiroghg wkh sdshu, dqg orrnhg grzq dw wkh zrugv zulwwhq xsrq lw.

-Ehzduh.

-Ydoldqw khurhv duh zdwfklqj brx lqwhqwob.

-Dqg brx gr qrw ghvhuyh wkhlu phufb.

Wkh qrwh zdv vljqhg zlwk d vlpsoh slfwxuh: d uhg krxujodvv, qhduob hpswb ri vdqg.

“Kpp.” Wkh vkliwhu vplohg edfn xs dw wkh hpswb udiwhu. “Zhoo phw, pb qhz hqhpb.”

Dqg zlwk wkdw, kh wxuqhg wrzdug wkh dluorfn wkdw Ureelh kdg ohiw xqorfnhg. Dw orqj, orqj odvw, kh zdv iuhh.

[scrumptiousgardenerbarbarian]

The Procedurally Generated Infinite Universe of No Man’s Sky

The universe of space exploration game, No Man’s Sky is pretty big. So big infact that “if a new planet was discovered every second, it would take 584 billion years for them all to be discovered.”

There are an estimated 18 quintillion different planets in No Man’s Sky, every one of them with its own unique plants and wildlife. 

How did indie studio, Hello Games manage to create a universe so vast and varied that it would be impossible for anyone to fully explore? Well they used a method called ‘Procedural Generation’ - essentially an algorithm that creates the game world as a player moves through it. 

Traditionally a game studio would have to draw intricate designs in order to create a fixed number of virtual worlds, a labor-intensive process that could take hundreds of designers. But the world of No Man’s Sky actually creates itself.

Most video games will start the player off in the same place, but in No Man’s Sky, every player starts off on a different planet. With so many planets in the game, when you start off or land on any given planet, you’re likely the first person to have ever been there. 

As Hello Games put it themselves, “It’s actually a slightly sad but amazing thing that 99.9 percent of the planets in No Man’s Sky I think will probably never be visited.” However, you can share information about the planets you explore with other players via a ‘universal database’.

The game is mainly about exploration, survival, fighting and trading. Amongst the endless exploration of planets and the epic space battles you can engage in, the games trading feature is particularly important. Different planets have different resources and those can be combined to create products or build different technologies, which can then be traded for parts, equipment, suits or even space ships. 

On the other hand, if you raid a planet of too many of its natural resources, you will attract the attention of sentinels which will attempt to destroy you.

No Man’s Sky also pits you against the elements. Not only massive differences in temperature but also dust storms, blizzards and other hazardous phenomena. You will have to use your resources wisely and the planet’s caves or other forms of shelter in order to survive.

So How did the developers ensure that the procedural generation algorithm kept consistently beautiful environments and creatures that made sense to us visually and mechanically?

Well although the impressive algorithm could create a vast variety of billions of whole worlds and assets, it was founded on some basic ground rules...

1. Artwork for plants use complimentary colours - 

Grass and trees complement each other to create a visually appealing contrast in every world.

2. Plants and wildlife have evolved to their planets climate - 

Planets have different climates depending on how far they are from that solar system’s sun. For instance, cold planets will have flora and fauna with characteristics reflective of that climate and vice versa. 

3. Creatures will have appropriate attributes for their species type - 

Predatory animals will have natural weaponry such as sharp teeth and claws while herbivore creatures will have attributes to assist them with feeding on certain plants, for instance, long necks for reaching leaves on high trees etc.

4. You cannot remove plants or animals from their home planet - 

Resources gathered can be taken with you but not the flora and fauna themselves. 

5. It is impossible to hunt a species of plant or animal to extinction - 

The developers considered making this possible at first but decided against it on the grounds that it would be impossible for any one human to completely wipe out a whole species before they had time to reproduce.

6. Plants and animals will progressively get weirder and more alien the closer you get to the center of universe -

Although No Man’s Sky is largely about random exploration, there is a somewhat linear path to be taken. That is to say and end goal of the game. Players who travel to the very center of the universe will apparently be “rewarded”. 

Whatever this so called “reward” is remains a mystery to me but researching for this blog has inspired my curiosity enough to give this game another go and attempt to find out. 

I’ll let you know in a few billion years or so. 

References:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueBCC1PCf84

https://nomanssky.gamepedia.com/Galaxy#:~:text=The%20universe%20of%20No%20Man's,3%20to%204%20billion%20regions

https://www.cnbc.com/2016/08/10/no-mans-sky-release-would-you-play-a-game-that-takes-584-billion-years-to-explore.html

https://attackofthefanboy.com/news/99-9-planets-no-mans-sky-wont-visited-dev-says/#:~:text=Speaking%20to%20IGN%2C%20Hello%20Games,temporary%20base%20on%20their%20planet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=falZ-G3APic

https://www.humblebundle.com/store/no-mans-sky

https://www.usgamer.net/articles/no-mans-sky-is-finally-feeling-like-the-game-i-wanted-three-years-ago

https://www.gamestar.de/artikel/normans-sky-indie-entwickler-baut-low-res-version-von-no-mans-sky,3271969.html

https://www.kotaku.com.au/2016/08/five-star-space-battles-in-no-mans-sky-are-insane/

https://archaeogaming.com/2016/07/15/no-mans-sky-archaeological-survey-code-of-ethics/

https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?l=hungarian&id=1456592352

https://www.businessinsider.com.au/no-mans-sky-4-biggest-problems-with-the-game-right-now-2016-8#/#too-much-time-in-menus-1

https://www.goliath.com/gaming/no-mans-sky-developer-offers-solution-to-game-breaking-bug/

[shootmesenpai]

Question tag for AO3 writers~~

I found the original questions on AFF a while back, and I thought since I’ve been tagged in so many meme things lately, I’d also tag a bunch more people in this one XD Since the questions were designed for AFF, I’ve reworked some of them to fit for AO3 writers. I also removed two questions rather than trying to translate them to AO3 terms. So, I’ll fill out my answers first, and then put the blank questions again at the bottom for you to easily copy and paste!

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

I came up with "Shootmesenpai” for my Tumblr originally a long time ago. It was pretty much a play on the whole “Notice me senpai” thing. Pretty basic and not very witty but it just ended up sticking so I even used it for AO3.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

Happy Birthday Aomine 

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

My icon is Aomine Daiki. I choose it because he is my favorite boy and almost all the fanfics I have written are from his perspective. 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I’m not a very popular writer and my stuff is pretty low key so the commenters are fairly random. I have some friends that comment so I suppose they count....kinda. 

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Blackbird or the Ladder series by @emungere is amazing and I have reread them a number of times. I also have a huge soft spot for Across the Way by @gintamajustaway and that is not even finished yet. 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

I am only subscribed to two stories at the moment since a couple just finished recently, but I have 29 bookmarks for things that need to be read. I’m kinda bad about actually doing this instead, I just leave 100 tabs open on my phone. 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

I haven’t actually written any AU’s yet but I like reading student/teacher ones, yakuza AU’s or college AU’s. I would like to write a college AU one day as it’s not too far from reality so I think I may be able to handle it. 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Oh, an embarrassingly small amount....I think I only have 29 subscriptions and 44 bookmarks...definitely, nothing to write home about. 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Honestly, I don’t really have much. I would like to write something really aggressive and complex but I don’t do well with long stories. A yakuza story with some rough subject matter (similar to Harada) would be amazing but....that's a bit much for most of the ships I enjoy. 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

I would like to finish my one long story and possibly rework a lot of it. It was the first one I wrote and looking back I can see a lot of flaws. I need to honestly just start writing more and learn the fundamentals of good storytelling. Even though I enjoy writing smutty one-shots the most, I still have ideas for long stories that I’m not confident enough to begin. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

I mainly write for AoKuro or AoKuroKaga which I guess is a bit rare for the KNB fan base. I also love ultra rare pairings like NijiHai. 

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

5 total works with one unfinished. 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

I have the next chapter started with Realization and Loss but it’s only a paragraph....that’s it at the moment. 

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

A little bit of both, my friend and I talk story ideas every once in a while so some of those are permanently locked in my head. There are some I came up with on my own that I have written down in a sketchbook somewhere. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Nope, I come up with ideas with a friend sometimes so it kinda feels like it has been co-authored at times. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

Just following the links of the fanfic rabbit hole. 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

Oh god no, I am extremely casual in my writings. I freak out for having like 5 kudos on a fic. I bow down to the famous authors. 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Not that I’m aware of, again I am bottom of that totem pole. 

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

I mean @humanitys-shortest-soldier kinda encouraged me after I continued to bug her about showing off her amazing writing skills. Other than that though @gintamajustaway was a huge inspiration, they are so amazing that I really have no words. 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

I don’t think I’m qualified to give advice but I guess I would just say, don’t be afraid to put your ideas out there. Even if you think it’s weird, or you think your writing skills aren’t up to par, just do it! There are people out there who will encourage you and make your whole day with their kind words. I promise you. 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I do basic plots, mainly just large points that I want to hit. Everything else just slowly forms around those foundation pieces. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

No, I haven’t gotten any bad comments yet but I am always open to them. I handle criticism well and I think bad comments can help a person grow to become a better writer. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Ummm.....probably really serious stuff. I love writing smut and I read a lot of garbage so it helps but the serious stuff requires a build up on top of a solid foundation. Those are definitely weak points for me. 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

I have Realization and Loss....which I will probably finish...one day. Other than that though I don’t have anything in the works, although I was prompted today to write more Brotp for AoAka. 

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

Yeaaaa, I really shouldn’t but sometimes the idea is too fun to wait. 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Nope, I just write when I have the time or a burning idea. It has been a while since I have done anything though. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

I think I have improved a bit, there is still a lot that I need to work on. I would love to eventually get back into it and improve my fundamentals and basics storytelling abilities. 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Haizaki’s Day Off, it was just a lot of fun to write and I really enjoy writing for Haizaki since he is a huge asshole. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

I don’t really have a least favorite but if I had to say...it would be Realization and Loss. It was my first one and I still need to finish it, but looking back I see a lot of errors and crutches throughout the story. 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Probably close to where I am now, I love writing but I don’t think I am cut out for anything serious within the field. I love drawing and a lot of my free time is spent trying to improve there, while also finding the courage to post it. 

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

Coming up with the basic plot and all the fun bits that it involves. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Actually sitting down to write it.....also in-character dialogue!

33. Why do you write?

I write because sometimes an idea is too fun to keep to myself or between my friends. I write so that hopefully other people get some enjoyment out of the weird stuff I create. 

Anyways that’s all the questions, so I’ll put them here as well without the answers to easily c+p.

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? 2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos) 3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it? 4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters? 5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again? 6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked? 7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most? 8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page) 9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!) 10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc. 11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often? 12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)? 13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program? 14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head? 15. Have you ever co-authored a story? 16. How did you discover AO3? 17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3? 18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers? 19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write? 20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author? 21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go? 22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do? 23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..) 24. What story(s) are you working on now? 25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)? 26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself? 27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started? 28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written? 29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written? 30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years? 31. What is the easiest thing about writing? 32. What is the hardest thing about writing? 33. Why do you write?

Tagged by: @humanitys-shortest-soldier

I tag @emungere @gintamajustaway @criscura and other amazing writers who want to tell all us beginners how it’s done. 

[mauridianhallow]

A L L O F T H E Q U E S T I O N S

Good shit good shit this took me ages holy hell enjoy you meme loving fucks Q's for you to A Do you have a favourite sweater? I actually do, it's that kinda folded over stretchy grey one I always wear, y'know? I wore it to The 1975 and, from what I hear, it was awesome. (Although I can't remember bc I was Gin Drunk) What’s your middle name? Lawrence...no judgement...Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? I don't, I wonder how's she's doing. Heard she was studying History from her friend I met in a bar one time. Glad to hear, she was nice. Do you get on with your grandparents? I did! Sadly it's been a few years since they passed but I very much did. What was your favourite cartoon as a kid? Hmm, it's a tough one, between the 90's X-Men TV show they played on repeat on Fox Kids or Ben 10 when it wasn't absolute shit like the remake. Yeah I'm bitter. What’s your favourite cartoon now? Archer lol Do you read the news paper? Yeah pretty much every day...I swear I'm not an old man. Who was the last text you sent to? My friend Laura, asking if they'll still be at the park when I finish work. What does the last text you sent say? "Y'all still gonna be there when I get away?" If you could have any hair colour what would it be? Idk I like the one I have. Do you like nature documentaries? Not really my cup of tea to be perfectly honest. What is your aesthetic? Climbing a mountain at a 90° angle in Skyrim on a horse. When did you last pet a dog? ''Twas yesterday. Whose friend’s parents do you like the most? The twins'! They employ me! I literally get paid to hang out with friends some days that's the good shit! Have you ever been on a road trip? I've been on a couple, longest was a drive to Southern Spain from Scotland! Was awesome! Tell me about someone you know called Emma? Went to school with her, cool gal, she saw HP in London and I'm jealous, shoutout to @weewildelassAre you reading a book in english class, what is it? Oh god I'm old. I haven't had or attended an English class in over 2 years. Do you have a favourite Aunt? Well considering she also employs me...hell yeah, shoutout to my Aunt K you legend! Baths or showers? Baths for comfort and treating yo self, or sharing...😏...Showers for quickness and weird snapchats at 3am...😂 Skiing or sun bathing? Sun bathing my dude. Do you kill spiders? Sometimes, sometimes not. Have you ever made an ice pop? I have not. Are you wearing shoes right now? I'm not wearing anything rn. Tell me about you favourite primary school/elementary school teacher? Let me tell you about Mrs. Mary "The Bonecrusher" Highland, and how she was such an iconic, legendary, influential and inspiring woman that she was the person you sent into the bad fucked up schools in movies and have them all pass with straight A's, she ran a tough ship and was slow to praise but when she did, she went all out, and made you feel like what you had achieved was truly a feat. Oh and she encouraged children to learn and think for themselves, genuinely encouraged you when you said you were interested in something even when it went above and beyond the curriculum. She was charitable, friendly, and spoke to you like you were an equal, and a worthy one at that. Mrs. Highland was literally so influential in so many people in my class being successful, free minded, hard working adults that she deserves a goddamn award. And let me tell you another thing, at the end of my First Year in College, I went back to my old Primary School for a teaching assistant internship because I knew the school was becoming a bit run-down and out of control and I wanted to help the way that Mrs. Highland had, and who had they just asked to come out of retirement, come back for TWO WEEKS, sort shit out and then walk away into the sunset like some goddamn Old Lady Teaching Avenger who appears when needs were greatest? MARY FUCKING HIGHLAND, I GOT TO HELP ONE OF MY CHILDHOOD HEROES BE AN ABSOLUTE TEACHING LEGEND AND REALLY INFLUENCE SOME GOOD IN A KIDS LIFE, THAT IS THE SHIT! Seriously though, she truly is one of the good ones, they don't make em like Her anymore. Who was the last person you hugged? I think that would be my mother actually hahah. Do you wear glasses? Occasionally. Do you have a cat? I sadly do not. Do you have a favourite pair of underwear? Not a favourite pair exactly more like a favourite kind?? Next All-Black, that's the good shit, makes my ass look great among other things. What was your last tweet? "How the fuck do you work twitter" about 5 years ago and I haven't used it since. Do you still use Facebook? I do, rarely. Do you like birds? Aye pal birds, blokes, the lot. Who was the last person you called cute? That genuinely would be my niece, or you lol Who was the last person that called you cute? This is a strange answer but a regular in my work. Long story. How did you meet your best friend? I literally turned a corner and ran into a group of emo's in like Fourth Year at High School and I haven't looked back since. Escalators or elevators? Nah m8, trick question, I'd rather take the stairs. Does wonders for the thighs. Are you named after anyone, who? Ahaha yeah my dad, both my granddads, and Saint. Christoper (Catholic mum yo) What was your first url? I have no idea. Autumn or Winter? Winter I can't lie. Do you win at scrabble? I do not lol Put your ipod on shuffle , who is the first song that comes up by? "American Idiot", Green Day. Classic. Have you ever drunk from a mason jar? I have not. Can you draw? Barely even write m8 let alone draw. What was your first profile picture? I think it was Kenny from South Park. Favourite t-shirt? God I have no idea. Best tumblr friend? Shoutout to @bepizzazzed and @double-dorks-beanie and @hesitant-butthole When did you last run? Tonight when as a joke my friends took my jacket and tried to get it on top of a climbing frame? lol I had it back in seconds and decided to get some payback ahah Do you like to paint your nails? Not particularly fussed, not a look I could pull off. Did you ever do something as a kid that got you into loads of trouble? I did more things to get me into trouble as a kid that anyone should ever do. And I still did it. Who is your favourite dog that isn’t yours? Trick question, all of them. Have you ever been drunk? Literally so many times. So many. Have you ever done something you regret while drunk? Some-thing? Some-one? Getting into a slutty dance off with a professional dancer? Stealing a mannequin? The exact words "I can easily make this jump..."? The exact words "Watch this lads"? The exact words "Shots won't do me any harm"? The exact words "Another Venom? Aye no bother!" The exact words "You can crash at mine if you like...?" You get the picture...I do messed up shit I'm drunk, and yet, I continue to do so. Do you want to kiss anyone right now? Ronald McDonald ngl for the sweet sweet invention of double cheeseburgers. Do/did you like you math teacher? I had a crush on both of my maths teachers, Mr. Kelly and Mrs. Hendry, both of which contributed to me turning up to class, but also contributed to me failing said classes bc I was too busy looking at them and being a hormone ridden, horny 16 year old boy, than I was doing maths. Do you often ride the bus? I do, everyday I'm in College. Do you have a fireplace in your house? We do actually it's getting renovated right now. Are you violent when you’re angry? God no! Do you cry when you’re angry? No, I rarely get angry and when I do it can only be described as dry anger. Favourite Harry Potter book? It has to be OotP, fight me. Can you remember your last dream? I can, and let me just say, Chris Pratt, thank you. Do you go to bed early or late? "Do I go to bed?" would be a better question. Do you speak a second language? I speak various levels of different languages. Some if you dropped me in their respective countries I could find my way about, albeit difficultly, and others I can ask for the bar and the bill and that's about it. Who was your first ever best friend? A boy called Dean. Have you ever had an operation? I've had a couple yeah. Tell me about your favourite cousin? His name is Reece and he's a meme loving shit and I love him the whacky bastard. Do you have a piece of clothing that doesn’t even fit you anymore but you can’t bare to throw away? During what can only be described as the Greatest Summer of My Teenage Years; the Legendary Summer of 2014, I wore on my feet almost EVERY DAY a pair of Classic Chuck's, they cost my poor wee mum like £60 the Christmas before but they were too big and when it finally hit summer they fit perfectly. I wore them every time. If you've ever read the book Me Before You or watched the film you'll know what I mean when I say they were my bumblebee tights. Have you ever been in a musical? I played the Cowardly Lion in my school play as a kid. Do you have a porch? I do not. How many times have you watched your favourite movie? At least 100 no joke it has to be. Empire Strikes Back. What do you order at McDonalds? Plain double cheese , small fries, Oasis Summer Fruits and maybe a coffee. Do you get on with old people? Worryingly well. Science Fiction or Romance? Sci-Fi m8. Do you take naps? Anytime I can. How many classes do you/did you take in High School? In my final year I took 3 classes. At its height I think I was doing 9 classes. When did it last snow where you live? A few months back. Does it ever snow where you live? It's Scotland...hahah it very much does. How many months until your birthday? 12 m8. How much charge does your computer have right now? 42%What is your favourite Disney Channel Original Movie? I don't actually think I had one. Sorry. the City or the Sea Side? Jokes on you fool, you can have both. What is your least favourite colour? Beige. Who tf likes being beige. Do you have homework to do? Nah. Are you still friends with your first best friend? I am not. Do you have/are you the gay cousin? I have an asexual cousin, bug more often than not I'm the gay cousin. Do you own dungarees? They can look cute on peeps. Do you like to play sport? I do, not to the extent I used to but yeah. What was your favourite ever Christmas present? My baby nephew. How old are you? Ugh I'm 20. Do you ever use Internet Explorer? Not for s long time. Have you ever had blonde hair? I haven't no. I wanted to but sadly I was a kid. When did you last see the person you have a crush on? Well considering I fall deeply in love with strangers who are nice to me on the train, that question is crazy. Who did you last talk to on the phone? Laura. Pants or Dresses? This question is a lot funnier in the UK and even funnier in Scotland where a man can wear one, but to do so, he's not supposed to wear the other 😉 Do you read fan fiction? Not anymore y'know. What is you’re favourite blog? @mauridianhallow is a pretty cool blog you should check that shit out Do you write poetry? I HAVE written poetry before. Drama or Comedy? How dare you insult The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt by suggesting you can't be both. Have you ever had a hickey? Perhaps...perhaps I have. Perhaps I cannot remember how I got some of them. Perhaps I should stop buying the ENTIRE bar a round of shots knowing all too well that almost every one of these people will offer to buy me drinks all night and then I won't pay shit for another drink until the night is over. Perhaps I should...I won't but I fucking should. And perhaps this has on certain occasions resulted in hickeys I don't know.

[cardandpixel]

Nice & Easy Does It, Every Time

I was reading an article earlier this week that set out a number of 'landmark' years in your life that related to certain zeniths. I'm 50 next week and according to the doubtless click bait trash I was reading, that's the age where I reach the peak of my arithmetic prowess (just FYI, attractiveness to the opposite sex was 25 years ago and contentedness with life is still a good 10-15yrs away).

This would probably suggest why I'm starting to find that I'm becoming more drawn to games that have much simpler rulesets but actually give a surprising amount of game depth and strategy. I'm finding as the years go by that there is no greater sense of despondency than opening a game box and finding a mahoosive and bloated rulebook. Worse still, a 30 page 'get started' rulebook, with an accompanying 70 page supplementary explanatory handbook (yeah - we all know I'm looking at FFG here).

However, I've been delighted over the past few years to find a number of games that genuinely can be taught or learnt in just a few minutes, but offer an amazing amount of strategic depth. Naturally, more often than not, these games will be abstract in nature, but that's by no means a given.  They’re also often quite inexpensive which is an added bonus.

So welcome to my quick round-up of a few of my favourite examples. No sense in spending longer on writing this than it takes to learn and play some of these games!

First up, there's a group of "chess-like" games, i.e. those where pieces are moved in differing ways per turn. However, unlike chess, most of these games either have a smaller range of moves, or if a wider range, ones that don't need to be remembered or have great cheat sheets.

Mijnlieff from Andy Hopwood, is a charming little wooden tile laying game where both players have matching tile sets. There are only four tile placement rules:

one forces the next player to place adjacent to the last tile:

one which forces placement NOT adjacent to the last:

One that demands next piece placed in a straight line

The last forces placement in a diagonal

And that's it and yet from these simple rules comes a very taught and closely matched game.  The game has a beautiful ‘homespun’ feel to it, being engraved wooden tiles. The whole game fits neatly in a pocket for travelling too.

Hive from the ever brilliant John Yianni, of Gen42, is another 2pl game based around the movement of bugs. The game features slightly more differing moves than Mijnlieff and the goal is to completely surround the opponent's Queen Bee token. Though an average game can take only 10-15mins, two well matched  players can make the game last much longer.  The move variants are clever and can have you craving the availability of just one more spider or grasshopper. It’s elegant and beautifully produced and a great ‘while the ovens on’ game.

Also from Gen42 is Tatsu - players control 3 different types of 'dragons': vine, water and fire - each having a different type of movement and action within the game. Tatsu uses a very smooth chase and capture mechanic which ramps up the tension very quickly. Again, the game has a very simple ruleset that takes maybe 10mins to learn and the game takes about 30-45mins. It is also one of those rare games that makes you want to play again the minute you've finished.

One of my favourite games of 2016 was Onitama - it is astoundingly simple to learn, and virtually nothing to remember ruleswise. Possibly the most chess like of the list, Onitama uses a simple rotating card system to constantly change the moves that players have available to them. 

At any point, players have 2 move option cards available to them. Once used that card is put into the centre and is then available to your opponent for use as after they take their turn. The goal is simple, players have 5 pawns and a king - a player wins if their opponent has no pieces left or if their king captures the opponents King's throne. It is a tricky game and rewards a bit of thinking ahead, though the ability of your opponent to choose either of their two cards to play adds a nice randomness to the game.  And that's it - it's actually more difficult to write about the rules than demonstrate it. It is so simple and so elegant that no shelf should really be without it.

Similarly indispensable is the excellent Ominoes from Yay Games. Using a very thematic custom dice system and a very simple and brief ruleset, Ominoes is all about choices. A dice roll will never yield anything you can't use, but will always leave you with choices to help yourself, or make life difficult for your opponents. It's bright, simple and slightly dirty, and great fun.

Also in the fiendish but fun category, is the excellent Santorini, which is rapidly becoming my favourite game of this year.  Santorini is a beautifully produced game featuring chunky almost lego-like blocks that fit together to form towers. Players must build and climb towers to win the game, which sounds simple enough but there is a healthy amount of player interaction that complicates and deepens the strategy immensely. Again a very simple one-sided rulebook get you playing very quickly. 'God' cards add to the gameplay and are the only components that rely on a cheat sheet as there are so many, but everything is on the cards as well. Santorini is a fiendishly tricky game wrapped up in an elegant and simple set of rules and it looks utterly fantastic, which never hurts.

And finally in this short round up of simple but groovy games, I'd urge you to check out Kane Klenko's beautiful dice chucker, Fuse.  Not only does Fuse succeed in having very straightforward and slick rules, but the game is timed at 10minutes by the simple but deeply sarcastic AI app who can't resist telling all players how badly they are doing in defusing the bombs onboard your floundering spaceship. In this brilliant co-op, players draw dice from a bag to try and solve mathematical or chromatic 'fuses' on cards in front of them. Solve enough and the ship won't explode. That's never happened to our group yet, but we live in hope. This is a devious little game that encourages players not to think about winning, but celebrating how much less they failed than last time. Mistakes are punished harshly too, and that all adds to the fun. (Fuse has recently spawned a bigger and more complex sequel called Flatline which is again excellent, but for simple and quick gameplay, stick with Fuse).

So there we have it, if you want a game that takes minutes to pick up and whose rulebook doesn't have you running for the scales instead of your reading glasses, then you could do a lot worse than have a look at any of the games above.  

Honourable mentions also go to any of the Play With History titles which are fine recreations in wood and leather of historical games or heavily inspired by long lost older games. My personal favourite is Defence of Pictland which pits two armies against each other over hills and bogland, using only knight and pawn moves.

For The Win is a massively overlooked tile placement game, similar to Hive but with the added bonuses of tile flipping to prevent opponent powers being used, and having as its tiles, Ninjas, Chimps, Aliens, Zombies and Pirates.

The Duke is a similar 2pl tile laying game, but here the tiles actually have the moves they are capable of engraved on them so you can never forget. They also feature a clever A and B side which varies the move slightly for each meaning you have to keep thinking ahead.

And for sheer simplicity, look no further than Steve Jackson's Castellan. Though the pack arrives as a fine 2pl game, I'd treat yourself and add another pack to build it up to a 4pl as there is much more fun to be had building castles and keeps when there are more people trying to stop you.

Happy simple gaming y'all! (all pics copyright Boardgamegeek)

[componentplanet]

Reseller RMA Data Shows Fascinating Pattern Between AMD, Nvidia GPUs

Good reliability data is both highly prized in computing and frustratingly difficult to come by. Occasionally, a third party firm like SquareTrade will publish its own figures but these reports are few and far between. It’s effectively impossible to track how a manufacturer evolves from year to year without a set of consistent criteria and multi-year tracking. European reseller Mindfactory recently chose to share its GPU RMA data for AMD versus Nvidia products and the results are quite interesting.

I’ve written about Mindfactory’s data before and I’m willing to use them as a source for this article, but I want to note an important caveat that I don’t have an explanation for. According to this data set, Mindfactory sold very few RTX 2070s and 2080s, and only ever shipped a handful of SKUs. I suspect what this implies is that the data only covers the previous 12 months. That’s relevant if we’re going to draw any conclusions about the relative age of the process nodes these GPUs were built on. The report covers 44,100 AMD GPUs and 76,280 Nvidia GPUs, and is likely a statistically significant sample of all retail channel cards sold by either company in Europe for the relevant time period.

All of the usual caveats apply. Mindfactory is one European retailer. It isn’t a US company and its data is a snapshot of the total market, nothing else. These results should not be taken as determinative, they should be read with a grain of salt, contest not valid in Alaska or Hawaii, no participation necessary, see store for details, etc, etc. Moving on.

Here are the high-level takeaways from the chart, in no particular order:

Less-complex, less-powerful GPUs fail less often than more complex, more powerful GPUs.

AMD’s midrange and budget cards do not fail more often than midrange and budget cards from Nvidia.

PowerColor AMD GPUs fail more often than other brands.

The RTX 2080 Ti is the GPU statistically most likely to fail. It is the only GPU with two-digit failure rates (11 percent) reported from multiple vendors.

AMD high-end GPUs fail more often, in absolute terms, than Nvidia GPUs, even if we remove the impact of PowerColor from the AMD data. The gap is significantly smaller if you do, however.

Some years ago, a report came out showing failure rates between different types of RAM. If anyone can recall it, shoot me a link — I’ve not had any luck finding the article. What it showed was that it was more common for high-end enthusiast DRAM to fail than low-end basic parts from the likes of Kingston or Crucial. Failure rates didn’t correlate perfectly with clock, but as clock speed climbed, so did the RMA rate. The article I’m recalling wasn’t the Google 2009 study, or the 2012 follow-up, and I don’t think it was the Microsoft 2012 study, either. It was based on consumer hardware, not enterprise or server tech. The point was, enthusiast hardware running close to the margin of what’s possible has a higher failure rate than bog-standard parts that are well within clock and voltage margins.

Data by Mindfactory.de

We see evidence of a very similar trend here. If we assume that this data covers July 2019 – July 2020, it means that Nvidia was still having real problems with the RTX 2080 Ti when the GPU was nearly a year old, long after the company began shipping the card. Conversely, if the data set is from Turing’s launch, it would mean all it does is capture the already-known high launch failure rate for the RTX 2080 Ti.

I wish we had more data on the RTX 2070 and 2080, because the limited data we do have suggests some high rates of return on Gainward cards for the RTX 2080 and KFA2 cards for the RTX 2070. The RTX 2070 Super and RTX 2080 Super return rates are excellent. Are they excellent because Nvidia had months to refine Turing, or were they excellent from the beginning? The answer to that question would meaningfully impact how we interpret AMD’s higher RMA rates given that the 5700 XT and 5700 launched on a brand-new 7nm process.

The fact that we see a trend towards lower failure rates on simpler, smaller GPUs from both companies is very likely relevant. The RTX 2080 Ti’s higher failure rate fits with this — the chip was a reticle-buster that pushed engineering to its limit. As for the different manufacturer failure rates, we’ve got nothing but questions. Why did MSI’s Gaming Z Trio RTX 2080 Ti have a 1 percent failure rate with 2 returns (~200 GPUs sold), while the MSI Lightning Z had an 11 percent failure rate with 14 returns (~130 GPUs sold)?

Drastic variation in GPU failure rates could implicate the manufacturer’s cooling practices or reflect the fact that a company introduced new models of GPU over the course of a year and these later cards failed less often. Higher failure rates on AMD cards could reflect the fact that AMD pushes its GPUs closer to the edge of stability or that AMD’s OEM partners are willing to ride the ragged edge a little closer on AMD cards than on Nvidia because Nvidia has more authority and opportunity to play hardball (and to demand that its GPUs are properly supported). One of the reasons why AMD motherboards were historically less reliable than Intel boards was that AMD could neither force VIA to fix its bugs (like the infamous KT133A southbridge problem) or require motherboard vendors to devote an equal amount of time debugging and improving AMD motherboard BIOSes as they were willing to invest in Intel boards. Could a similar dynamic be at work here? It could be. The point is, we don’t know. No Sapphire GPU has more than a 2 percent failure rate, and 2 percent matches any Nvidia card. So is this an AMD problem or a PowerColor problem — but if we say it’s a PowerColor problem, was the 2080 Ti a multi-manufacturer issue or something specific to Nvidia?

This is why manufacturers don’t like releasing quality data. Questions beget questions beget questions. Even if we knew the relevant time period, we wouldn’t know when the GPUs Mindfactory sold were actually made. Maybe the retailer got a big batch of initial GPUs of every sort that failed and all failure rates today are basically equal (1-2 percent) between all cards and manufacturers. Maybe the failure rates have spiked recently because COVID-19 killed quality control and companies are just pumping out whatever they can sell. Without more information, we can’t know — and it’s that “more information” that companies don’t want to hand over in the first place.

Now Read:

Nvidia in Advanced Talks to Buy ARM, Upend Silicon Industry

AMD Confirms RDNA2, PS5, XSX, Zen 3 Are All on Schedule

AMD Reports Q2 2020 Results: Strong Results, Record Sales

from ExtremeTechExtremeTech https://www.extremetech.com/gaming/313458-reseller-rma-data-shows-fascinating-pattern-between-amd-nvidia-gpus from Blogger http://componentplanet.blogspot.com/2020/08/reseller-rma-data-shows-fascinating.html

[topicprinter]

Hey guys. As I mentioned, I'm a UX Consultant / Product Designer. I work with early stage startups creating digital products.You seemed to enjoy my last post about building a user onboarding sequence, so I figured I'd share some more.Many teams I work with have no concept of how valuable user feedback can be to help them build a better, more user friendly and successful product.Most have simply asked their users "hey do you like it?" and when the user says "yeah it's great!" then they feel all happy inside. This isn't how user feedback works.You can check out the full post, with images and examples, here on my blog. (no popups)10 Types of User Feedback You Need to Build a Better ProductHave you ever asked a user of your product how they like it, and had them tell you it's fantastic, super easy to use, and they love it?I bet it made you feel great didn't it?Well… bad news… that kind of feedback sucks, and hearing it does nothing for you besides making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.In order to get feedback you can actually use to build a better product, *you need to know the *right questions to ask, and the right answers to look for.Simply asking your users how they like your product is a waste of time because it will always get the same response.A number of years ago, I was working as Lead UX Designer at one of the first startups I ever joined. We were a small team of 6 people, and I was the lone full time designer / UX guy.We had a very close, personal relationship to the majority of users so getting user feedback was easy.The problem? Almost everyone said same thing.WE LOVE IT! IT'S SO GREAT! AMAZING! INCREDIBLE!But their behaviour showed a different story. Many sections of the product remained untouched and barely used. It was clear that people were confused about what certain features were for, often using them for the wrong thing.But when asked about it?WE LOVE IT! IT'S AMAZING!So why was this happening?It the same reason almost everyone answers this way when asked "how do you like it?"It's because they feel compelled to say yes, since it's obvious that's the answer you want to hear.For example, let's say your kid, or friend's kid, or any kid, runs up excitedly to show you their awful finger painting they did in class.They look at you with those puppy dog eyes and say….I made it for you! Do you like it?I hate it!! What a horrid pile of shit! is clearly not the expected answer in this situation.The child is now crying and you have cemented yourself as "emotionless monster" in the eyes of all around you.The correct response is to praise the child then throw it away a day later (the drawing, not the child).The point is, this is called asking a leading question, **because the way the question is phrased leads** the person in the direction of the expected answer.If all you're asking are these types of leading questions, you're not getting accurate feedback from people about your product.But don't worry, hope is here! By the end of this article, you will know the exact types of feedback you should be collecting, and how to go about getting it without the use of leading questions or becoming an emotionless monster.Now I'm going to cover 10 of the most important pieces of user feedback you should be collecting, how to collect it, and exactly why it's so vital to the success of your product.1 – How likely are they to recommend your product to a friend?If this sounds familiar to you, that's because it should be. It's probably the most widely implemented "feedback collection" strategy used by digital products.It's called the Net Promoter Score*® *and it's a great way to gauge exactly how satisfied a user is with your product.Why is NPS Score So Important?NPS Score is an important metric because research shows that people are only willing to share, or recommend a product, when they're happy with the product themselves.Why? Because recommending something means you're putting your reputation on the line. If you tell a friend to use something and they end up hating it, they might never trust you again (especially after that whole finger painting thing).I consider NPS a strong indicator of your user's "happiness level", and a good indication of how effective your UX and Product Design is.On top of that, user's are also asked why they gave the answer they did. This opens up a conversation between you and these users to further investigate why they might be unhappy.How can you collect your NPS Score?The method of collecting this bit of feedback isn't overly complicated. You can simply send out a survey to your users asking the question:"How likely are you to recommend this product to a friend?"The answer is in the form of a number rating from 1 – 10.After a user gives a rating, they are asked for an open text answer on what the reason is they gave that answer. This question is optional, since all you really need is the number.Afterwards, users are separated into three groups:Promoters (9 – 10 rating)Passives (7 – 8 rating)Detractors (0 – 6 rating)You calculate your score by subtracting the percentage of detractors from the percentage of promoters.For an exact, step by step guide on quickly setting this system up for free, check out this article and video tutorial I wrote.2 – What bugs or problems are they running into?In my experience, I find that some Founders and Product Managers are deathly afraid of shipping anything that is less than perfect.Before they release a new feature, they want to test it again and again and again until they've ironed out every single bug.It's as if a user running into a bug is going to make the entire company fold right then and there due to sheer embarrassment.The reality is, it's almost impossible to track down every single bug before you release something, and trying to is an enormous waste of valuable time.Why is knowing about software bugs so important?The problem with constant product testing is that it costs a ton of time and money.For most startups, time is the most precious resource they have. The more time you spend chasing bugs, the less time you have to collect valuable user feedback which will influence the satisfaction of your users.Believe it or not, running into a bug isn't a make or break type thing for a user. Being unable to figure out how to **use and get value from your product **however, is a huge make or break type thing.How to uncover bugs faster in your product?Make your users your product testers. Sound crazy right? But think about it. You have an entire ARMY of people using your product each and every day.Hundreds, thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands of people could uncover 300 bugs in 3 days, where it would take your team 6 months to track them all down.Giving your users the ability to quickly and accurately report a bug means you can have bugs tracked and fixed in lighting time.I just stumbled across this great product called BugMuncher on Reddit the other day which gives users the ability to quickly screenshot a bug, and records the important stats along with it like operating system, browser type, version, etc.Consider implementing this product, or a similar solution of your own, that allows user to *quickly and easily *report bugs.I don't mean a big text box where you ask them to describe what happened, I mean a simple way to report it with under 15 seconds, which doesn't take them away from the page they're currently on.3 – How happy are they with your customer support?Your customer support team is like the bridge between unsatisfied user and super satisfied user. Super satisfied users are more likely to turn into *promoters *of your product, meaning they will recommend it to others.Promoters are good. You want promoters.That's why it's extremely important to constantly be monitoring if people are happy with the support they receive.Almost as equally as important is *how you go about *collecting this data. It needs to be quick and easy for someone to rate a customer support interaction.Often times I'll get a follow up email saying something like_ "please help us and rate the support you received…"_I never respond to these emails, simply because a new email appearing in my inbox just means another thing I need to deal with, and since I know I can skip it, I do.How can you make it easy for users to rate their support experiences?Groove uses one of the best solutions in my opinion, and that is giving users the ability to rate their support interactions at the bottom of each email.You know those little "please rate our experience" things you see in email signature like this?Those are a great way to give people the ability to rate their experience while at the same time keeping the effort required very low.Clicking on any of these links brings the person to a pre-populated, one question survey with the option to explain more. This is a perfect setup.Groove then calculates your user's "satisfaction score" by subtracting the "not good" ratings from the "good rating".4 – Have they searched for alternatives since signing up?If your product is even semi-successful, it means you've picked a niche which has a high amount of demand for what you're offering.This is good. It means people actually want your product, and you didn't just invent the idea out of thin air.But, this also means that you're almost guaranteed to have a number of competitors who have a similar, if not identical product to yours.This is also good. Don't forget, competition means demand.Much like any other traditional business, your users always have the option to switch to a competitor should their satisfaction level start to decrease.Sometimes, users will "flirt" with the idea of switching without actually taking the plunge. If you can catch these people in time, chances are you can convince them to stay.Why is this so important?Collecting this feedback is important because it presents the perfect opportunity to uncover major problems with your product that are so severe they are causing you to lose a user.It's highly unlikely a user who has been searching for alternatives is going to tell you… "Everything is great! I love it!"A user at this stage is the *perfect person *to collect feedback from.If you can fix every single one of these problems, it means you can greatly reduce your churn rate (the amount of users who leave and never return) and keep more users coming back month after month.How to find out if users have been searching for alternatives?Simply ask them. There's a number of ways your can do it, such as by sending out a survey through email, or using a product like Intercom to ask a question right in the product interface.The important part is you ask them 2 questions:Have you searched for an alternative since you joined?If so, what were you looking for in a competitor's product that we don't have?Why not simply ask them the reason why they're looking at competitors? Because it's just not direct of enough of a question. Asking big questions with indirect answers will scare people away who feel tried by the idea of having to answer in such detail.These open ended answers can be a gold mine of information you had never considered. Perhaps your prices are too high? Maybe your product is too slow, too old, or doesn't have a specific feature they're looking for?Consider following up with these people on a live Skype call to dive further into their problems and possible solutions that could get them to stay.Just keep in mind that listening to a user and doing what a user says are completely different things. Don't do what users say they want, instead listen and then give them what they need.5 – What are their results from using your product?People signed up for your product because of one single reason… you promised them it was going to improve their lives in one way or another.Either by saving them time, money, stress, effort or increasing their happiness.They signed up because of exactly what you promised them in the headline of your highly converting startup landing page you recently implemented (wink wink plug plug).If your product has done its job properly, after a certain amount of time, their lives *should be better. *Just how much better is exactly what you want to learn from collecting this type of feedback.Why are case studies so important?Success stories from users are going to help you out in 2 ways:Uncovering benefits of your product you might not have realized.Providing you with a huge boost to your landing page conversions by offering results oriented testimonials.In landing page design, a big part of the battle in turning a visitor into a user is first making them understand the benefits of using the product, then convincing them that you can actually deliver what you're promising.That's where user success stories come in.Uncovering new benefits that users experience will give you an opportunity to write more effective copy on your landing page, or better yet, attract an entirely new set of users to your product.As for convincing them you can actually deliver? That's where testimonials come in.Featuring a story from a user that details the exact results they got is going to help increase the trust factor for people who are on the fence about signing up.How can you collect successful user case studies?Start this process by pinpointing power users of your product. People who use it far more than others, and who have invested a lot of money and time into it.This will be a good indicator that they're getting a large amount of value and great results.Next, reach out to these people individually, through email, and ask if they'd be willing to share their story.If they say yes, follow up with them. Prepare a list of questions you need answers for, but try not to structure it like an interview.Don't forget to get permission from them to feature them in your marketing.6 – How satisfied are they?Remember at the start of this article where you learned about NPS Score and asking a user how likely they were to recommend your product to a friend?While I think this is a fantastic indicator of user satisfaction, it doesn't hurt to have a backup. Why? Because not everyone can accurately answer the "_how likely are you to recommend this product…" _question.To some, it might be the case that they simply don't know anyone who would be interested. Others might just be against recommending anything at all.This is why asking a user straight up "how satisfied are you?" can also be a great indicator of how well your product is working.Why is user satisfaction so important?Simply put, users don't keep using things they don't like.Chances are, if a large number of users have told you that they've been searching for alternatives to your product, it also means that your "user satisfaction" score is going to be low.Keeping your users satisfied is the most important part of your product design. It's the ultimate goal of every feature you add (or don't add), and every redesign you implement.How to find out if your users are satisfied?Jakob Nielsen suggests simply asking them to answer this question by choosing a number on a scale of 1 – 7."Averaging the scores across users gives us an average satisfaction measure."Says Jakob, the Godfather of UX.This could be done by sending an email survey using Survey Monkey, or using a product like Intercom to ask them directly in the product interface.Don't forget to wait until they've had a chance to explore your product before asking this question. A brand new user won't have enough experience to give you an accurate response.7 – What do they think about a newly released feature?Here's the process I've noticed a lot of digital startups follow:Spend hours building initial product.Release.Immediately start thinking of NEW ideas to include in product.Spend hours building and releasing new features.Get disappointed that people aren't flocking to the product.Decide it must be because there isn't enough features.Release 4,000 new features.Attempt to deal with bugs, usability issues, updates, and customer support problems that come along with every single new feature.Run out of money.Is it obvious how much I hate adding features?I hate them.Next to how much I hate the default setting of releasing features instead of focusing on user feedback, is what happens once a feature is released… NOTHING.After releasing a new feature, you must follow it up with a process that validates the existence of the feature.If no one uses it, and no one wants it, it shouldn't exist in the product. That's why we want to know everything we can about how user's are interacting with it.Why is feature feedback so important?Bloated, unused features dilute the value of your product, and they add to poor usability.The more things you add to your product which don't add value for a user just become a big pain in the ass obstacle they need to navigate around in order to get to that nugget of value that still exists.Collecting feedback on how well users understand, or respond, to a new feature is a vital part of this feature validation process.How to find out if/how a feature is being used?The quickest and easiest way to do this is by looking at your analytics. Are people navigating to that page of your product or not?This will give you a small idea of how much people are navigating to the feature, but it won't tell you if they understand how to use it, or what it's even for.The way to achieve this is by performing user testing.Set up a user test and give your users a set of tasks to complete. Include the new feature as part of one of those tasks, and see if they're able to find it, and use it, on their own.Analyze their behaviour, and encourage them to think out loud as they navigate.Don't forget that testing anything over 5 people can be a waste of time in most situations.8 – How much effort is it taking them to perform specific actions?This is the exact opposite of asking a high level question like "are you satisfied?"Instead, this question focuses on the small detail of how hard it was to do one single thingFor example, let's say a user just went through the process of integrating a payment system, like Stripe, with their account.When the process finishes, a small notification, directly within the product, would ask them to rate the amount of effort it took them to perform the task, rated on a scale of 1 – 10.Why is user effort so important?The goal of building a usable product is to minimize the amount of effort it takes for users to reach their goals.That's why it's important to continue to test, iterate, and improve upon the various features you've built.By asking a user to rate how difficult a task was, it gives you the opportunity to focus on features that users are currently rating as "very difficult" instead of focusing on building new features, or trying to fix things that aren't really a problem.It's kind of like the way users can rate support emails, except it's directly within your product.How can you find out how much effort tasks are taking your users?Keeping track of exactly how much effort it takes users to perform all of the different tasks on your product is time consuming.You need to be running constant user surveys, user tests, observing behaviours on each task, and then combining a ton of test data to determine what features are requiring the most effort.This is called task level satisfaction measurements.The result of executing these properly is a set of analytics that show you exactly what areas of your product design need attention first, and which areas are having the biggest impact on your user's experience.If you want to learn more about the types of task level satisfaction measurements, check out this article on ConversionXL.9 – How often are they using your product?What is the average amount someone uses your product, and what is the reason that is the average?Every day? Every week? Once a year?Is there any reason it seems unusually low or high?Why is the amount a user logs in so important?Increasing the frequency your product is being used by a user may be extremely important, or it might not be that important to you at all.It really depends on the goals of your product.For a product like Facebook, the more frequently the person visits their site, and the longer they stay on the site, the better it is. Why? Because they're exposed to more advertising.But for someone running a business to business targeted product, like web hosting for example, this might not matter as much.Regardless, it's** important to have a benchmark** in order for you to be alerted if average use starts to drop, or increase.How can you find out how much people are using your product?First, the easier approach is to simply check your analytics. This won't give you much beyond a daily number, but it's a start.In order to go deeper, check out a product like Intercom (which I've already referenced 100 time now - not getting paid to either). It will automatically segment your users into lists based on their behaviour.This allows you to communicate with groups of users in order to find out why they're falling into the "slipping away" category.Intercom automatically lists users who may be slipping away.Speaking to users who are starting to "slip" will enable you to learn about specific problems users have with your product you may have never considered before.10 – What are they searching for and why?Do you have a support FAQ? A site wide search function? Maybe even support guide analytics?Have you ever look at what people are searching for?Search boxes are gold mines into uncovering usability issues you might not be aware of that are destroying the user's experience.Why are search analytics important?In User Experience Design, in order to make a product more user friendly, we perform tests with a live user and observe their behaviour.But… how do we decide what to test?This is more difficult. Testing your entire product just to uncover problems can be expensive, time consuming, and not always as insightful as you want.But knowing about a "problem area" that needs iteration and testing is a huge advantage. That's where search analytics come in.Users tend you use the search function as a "scapegoat" when they get confused or lost while attempting to perform a task.This means any phrase that's searched for over and over is a direct indication of a widespread usability issue.Once you know the problem, go out and recruit 5 users to test and watch how how well they can perform. This feedback should give you a clearer picture of *why *people are all searching the same thing.How can you collect search analytics?Unfortunately, this isn't something as simple as sending a survey out to your users and asking them a question.You will need to set up your own product to track search phrases.If that's outside your current scope, consider using a 3rd party which you can install to make search tracking a bit easier.I recommend checking out SwiftType, which I have personally used with a great deal of success.On top of that, you should also be sure to have a properly design search function (and search engine result page).Collecting and implementing user feedback in the only way to successfully improve your productBut simply asking a user "hey how much do you like this?" is a great way to feel good about yourself without actually learning anything important.This post should have given you some insight into the types of feedback you should be collecting, and they way that feedback will inform your decisions on how to build a better product.Want to hear from me more often? 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[earthenthoughts]

The New Year's New Look: Post Patch 6.9, and Syndra.

The Crystal Ball is Wild and Dangerous

It is with no small distaste I look back upon my predictions and see how they have come to fruition. For the first time in many years, Syndra found herself thrust into the spotlight in a way that can only be described as 'damaging'. Clocking in a 97% ban rate at Worlds 2016, and earning the World Casters' bristling ire, her solo queue performance achieved around a 50-70% ban rate depending on any day's given temperament. Now, as we stand in the twilight of 2016, the world is looking pretty different for her.

My predictions back around August didn't play out as I thought they would, but ultimately did come true. Upon the landing of the Patch 6.9, Syndra's kit broke with a couple different bugs that would remain until Patch 6.12. Namely, her ultimate no longer detected spheres correctly, so if any of her abilities modified a sphere, there was about a 1-2 second window her ultimate wouldn't see the sphere. The net result, quite often was something like a 6 sphere ultimate only firing as a 4 or 3 sphere ultimate in turn. In all my time in playing her, it was the single most frustrating thing to deal with, and that's a pretty tall statement in over 5 years of League of Legends with her.

As Patch 6.12 landed, however, and these bugs were corrected, Syndra also received some AP ratio help, bumping her damage even further with the Patch 6.9 changes. This rode upon the back of many other different champions, many of which were the S-list and A-list competition she had to deal with, getting nerfed. The net result was a near meteoric rise to the top in competitive play and the world at large gleaning what would happen in a meta where Syndra is handed the queen's seat on a silver platter. This isn't entirely new to her, as Syndra's last rise to the top saw some stiff nerfs to her complete lane domination some years ago.

In the course of Patch 6.12 to Patch 6.24, much of the lukewarm reputation Syndra possessed was pretty much destroyed. Any notion of skill involvement disappeared as the roving bands of mob mentality paid their seasonal visit with her in their sights. I didn't really expect her to survive it any better than the rest, though I do find myself irritable nonetheless over the matter. My own personal misgivings aside, it was quite the useful learning experience, as it ever is, in watching how powerful public perception is. After all, when the man on the television preaching to you and millions of others that a champion has, "Absolutely no counter play", why wouldn't you believe him? Certainly not when no defense or counter argument is given in favor of the problem, of course.

  A New Year, and More Patches.

As we step out of the shadow 2016, and the clock turns over, the future is looking interesting for Syndra. The nerfs are on the horizon, and they aim at correcting what is arguably the biggest problem in her kit currently. Her W, Force of Will, is (as of the last PBE I looked at), being changed to something like this:

AP Ratio reverted to 0.7 from 0.8. Base damage reduced by 10 at all levels.

Old: Force of Will grabs 2 additional spheres near the target.

New: Force of Will now deals 20% bonus true damage.

The developers are fairly confident it will ship 'as is', but as ever, the Crystal Ball is dangerous. They may post something different tomorrow and explode this entire blog post like a destroyer in Battleship.

Notably, her new Q passive (+2 seconds to Dark Sphere life timers) and E changes (+0.1 AP, -2s base CD) are being retained. The rest of her kit, otherwise, remains untouched or considered as far as I'm aware. I find myself quite welcoming to these changes, as they will largely return Syndra to her prior playstyle and with easier-to-tune levers. An instrinic problem of the multisphere W is that it has no way to be balanced–your only recourse is to reduce the grab targets from 3 to 2, and this opens up other issues. The natural throw pattern would be a V-shape, which would ironically make it so awful to level you'd intentionally avoid it, as this would destroy her stun pattern. As a designer, you're forced to adjust it so one sphere is center mass and … where does the second go? Then you have to argue how it throws, and so on. As her kit is designed currently, the idea just opens more problems. Just looking at it can make a new problem appear out of thin air, seemingly.

Damage, however unimaginative it might be, is easy to tune. You make it go up or down, and if damage as a mechanic is undesired, you visit the project when you have more time. In this regard, although Syndra's W having a considerable amount of true damage (that's BONUS true damage, not a conversion. Her W overall has more damage), it's simple to change. From a gameplay perspective, it definitely empowers her skill route for W second max, as level 13 is when the mid-game/team fighting phase happens. Being true damage, she'll hammer all targets equally, though squishy ones will fear her W throw the most as they have less over all HP to absorb true damage with. Magic Resistance rushers, particularly those favoring Abyssal Scepter and Maw of Malmortius, will get stung pretty heavily by it and relieve some of Syndra's crippling issues with fighting those build paths until Void Staff is complete.

Her tank killing prowess will enjoy a slight increase, though out of all her targets, I imagine she'll still feel very cramped against them. Flat true damage is not necessarily an elegant way to kill tanks, but it does help.

The only problems I can foresee with this is squishy carry champions getting slammed particularly hard by Syndra's W sniping. However, lacking the multi-sphere throw now, she can no longer infinitely maintain her ultimate or a stun wall as large as a lane. Whether or not that's a fair trade off, time will tell, but if the true damage is a problem (in being too weak(?) or strong), a quick number change is all it needs. It is certainly a much better alternative to the multisphere mechanic and her original W passive.

  In Defense of the Multisphere Mechanic

I'll take this moment to kind of step aside and try to frame the vitrolic I have around this idea. So, standing in defiance of my past remarks, let's be a little different. On its own, the principle idea of manipulating multiple spheres with Syndra is a thematically interesting idea. It also has potential for zone control, power ramp, and everything her kit is based as an idea. As Syndra exists, however, it's inclusion destroyed safety levers many parts of her kit relied on to permit the power she has. Notably, her incredible team stunning and nuking power went from 'very timing sensitive' to 'whenever I want because I can'. The core idea itself can work, as experience has shown, merely not with the iteration Syndra herself currently exists in.

I feel that in a future VGU, or whenever the idea of a radical redesign for Syndra is in mind, it can be revisited. The concept of multiple sphere management is powerful enough you could redesign her whole kit with it in mind, and emphasize a lot of her unique strengths in the process. But, I fear it would be necessary to no longer consider Syndra a Burst Mage in that iteration. Her single target nuke ultimate as it is right now would not play nicely with that idea, so it would have to go. The multiple sphere ability (Force of Will, in this case) may even evolve into becoming her ultimate in such a world. Where it would go, or do, is a matter of speculation. You run the very real risk of making Syndra the best AOE nuke mage in the game, rather than a powerful single target problem remover. That's a wild ride of speculation and theory design I've played with for a while, but, no matter what, we'd have to fundamentally redefine a lot of who and what Syndra is.

So, the idea is good, the game just doesn't allow for it as it is. I'd be very curious to see how it'd play out on a theoritical design in testing with a bigger scope of work in mind, though.

  The World At Large

Assassins got their update and promptly fell on their face (except for LeBlanc, as always), as many of the current mage mid laners are quite comfortable against them. I'm honestly not certain if Assassins will find a happy existence, as their class entails a range of fundamental assertions that are problematic for the League of Legends environment. The largest one is the 'always losing until they're winning' one. Assassins do not have fallback mechanics in exchange for their incredible target selection and maneuverability. Thus, this means a stalwart defense and neutral farming playstyle can put them into a 'losing the game' position by just simply ignoring them. The onus to succeed is on the Assassin, and they must pursue an almost dangerously reckless degree of gameplay to stay relevant, then to win.

This in turn means player agency is a bit more suspect, as the Assassins are given–by design–the tools to out play, out manuever, and defeat their opponent. If they cannot do this reliably enough, they will simply never exist in professional League of Legends unless they're a wild card pick. Regular play will see them more convincingly, as skill and play style varies wildly there, but the class as a whole won't be regarded with some modicum of seriousness. I ponder if this is an issue of how League of Legends, as a game, is designed, and whether or not this problem can be answered by tuning the Assassins directly. Time will tell as Riot's attention goes to stepping down on the mage mid laners and giving a boost up to the Assassin class, and everyone gets to fight Fizz again(again).

Tanks are prowling around quite happily right now, and a fair number of other classes who shouldn't be, with the new Courage of the Colossus mastery. Word on the street is that will be getting slammed, so hopefully that draws that array back in line. Overall pleased with tanks having a menacing presence, though the damage available to them is brow raising. I suspect new mechanics unique to them would help give them more 'tank' and less 'tank by damage threat'. Reworking Taunt, for example, has interesting potential. Imagine if Taunt made it so a targeted enemy can only auto attack or use targeted abilities to the tank taunting them, but the target was normal otherwise (so no pseudo-stun lock mechanic). This means some of the existing tanks would either have to gain a Taunt effect, or some sort of item for them alone to use. It's one idea that comes to mind, anyway.

As is tradition, the entire jungle role is once again on fire as the new year of 2017 and Preseason 7 comes. The whole place is on fire, in a very literal way.

Bot lane is currently a whipping post as the ADC(marksman) role is finally contested after 7 years of League of Legends. That is, marksmen as a class are finding themselves constantly stepped on, smacked around, and new picks coming to contest their relevancy to the game. I find this particularly interesting to watch as, while I don't want a whole class to disappear, they're unique in that they have always 'been there'. The entire history of League of Legend metas is defined by 'Marksman+X', where X is the flavor of the month. It got to the point you had marksman in all 5 roles, though that got nerfed down. They maintain a presence in jungle and midlane, and the occasional terror pick arrives in toplane (to every top main's insatiable ire). To find a playing field open up where there are viable and desirable team compositions without marksman is a breath of fresh air in the potential of the game.

What the marksman bring to the table will still always be there, but I wonder if it will no longer be the mandatory must-have it has been. A team that could field no marksman, and make a dangerous yet viable choice in doing so, is not often considered nor held in any regard except 'I'm being trolled'. Mordekaiser as a marksman was arguably the first foray, however awkward, into this idea. The execution of that plan kind of exploded like a transformer on a power pole when the bristling hate mail came down the line … but still, it had merit in testing. Yasuo, amusingly, was somewhat envisioned as a potential marksman replacer, but he does every role. Now, we have Ziggs showing up in bot lane, not even as a marksman, but as a siege war waging machine whose unique strength is one of the few virtues the marksman class is built on. Where the marksman will end up after the dust has settled, I think, is a very telling point in how League of Legends could evolve.

If they're put back into their mandatory position, then it's reasonable to assume a degree of 'this is how it is, period'. If they're not mandatory, then it's reasonable to assume a greater degree of fluidity in design.

In what ways I can remember, I'd be historically inclined to say 'Riot will pursue a rigid method of design'. The ever changing balance team seems open to new approaches, though. I'm hopeful they'll experiment in this regard, though I live with an ever traumatic fear of what happened to Zyra, The Stolen Mage. Nonetheless, positive thoughts are better than anything else.

But, I'll be here, playing Syndra like I always do.

I'm a Syndra Main, not an OTP guys.

Seriously.

I'm serial.

staph calling me a one trick

The New Year’s New Look: Post Patch 6.9, and Syndra. was originally published on Earthen Thoughts