#I havent yet caught up on sleep since saturday

[wttcsms]

Hihi i saw ur request box was open & i just couldnt resist! A big confession to make here, uhh ive been such a big fan of u and yr writings and also u were the v first fanfic blog i came across a couple years ago so yea, u literally open my third eye to a whole new world of fics👉👈 🥺

i feel like you havent written angst in a while–and bc i miss ur angsty haikyuu fics– sooo could i request post-breakup college!au with atsumu or iwai (honestly anyone who'd best fit the scenario cuz i trust ur characterization👌) abt the aftermath of the breakup, them seeing us on campus and unconsciously following us with their eyes, reschin to help out on instinct only to realize theyre no longer together, thinking about what could've been just reminisce reminisce

ahhhh im sry honestly dont know how to expand more on the idea

thank you for stealing my ficvirginity😃

pairing atsumu miya x f!reader word count 2.1k content contains exes still in love, college!au, mutual pining author's notes hi <3 i remember you (eycee, right?). don't be a stranger! you can always dm me and say hello :) thank you for the constant support. not sure if this fic is angsty enough, but i wanted yours to be the first req i do <3

“Hi, welcome in! Let me know if— Oh.”

Your voice falters, recognition and maybe even something similar to embarrassment flits across your face, and a split second later, you go back to smiling like nothing’s wrong. Like the two of you haven’t spent the better half of this month actively avoiding each other at all costs, even though the sprawling acres of the University of Tokyo suddenly feels too small. The entirety of Japan has felt too small ever since it became his mission to never cross paths with you ever again. 

This mission of his started just a little over two weeks ago, on the very same day you decide to use his heart as your own punching bag. The worst part of it all, though, is the fact that he doesn’t even hold any type of contempt for you. It’s a cruel sort of joke; sometimes, Atsumu Miya feels like everything bad that happens to him is just some sort of sick punchline in a sitcom instead of real life. 

Usually, when girlfriends find out their high school sweetheart is going to be a wildly successful (and rich) professional athlete, they’ll do anything in their power to hang onto him.

You decided to snip the invisible string tying the two of you together, and you did it so effortlessly, so quickly, that Atsumu had to make sure that he hadn’t been imagining the last four years of your relationship. 

He’s got his hands shoved in his pockets, and he’s torn between staring at you like a total creep or looking at everything in the campus bookstore but you. He settles for the former, scared that this will be his last opportunity to really look at you. 

Neither of you is saying anything. It’s a Saturday and so no one else is even in the bookstore this morning, and Atsumu wants to say something, anything, but he’s never been that great at carefully picking his words, and he’s scared out of his mind that he’ll say something stupid and prove once and for all that you had been right to break up with him. Better yet, he wants you to say something. He wants you to give him a better explanation instead of the bullshit you told him in his apartment. 

We just want different things.

What does that even mean? He thinks he would have shouted out that question, if only your little break up speech hadn’t caught him so off guard. Different things? The two of you wanted different things? Sure, Atsumu likes to sleep in a freezing cold apartment, and you need the room to actually be at a reasonable temperature. And maybe Atsumu has a penchant for overly fried, greasy foods when all you want (and deserve) is a fancy dinner. Maybe Atsumu wants to be at a sports store instead of browsing aisle after aisle in Sephora, but he doubts these different wants have accumulated so much that you felt you had no choice but to break his heart. 

“Hey, Miya.” You say it softly, dropping the perky customer service voice you greeted him with before you turned around and realized who he was. And he flinches. He fucking visibly cringes at the way you speak to him, walking on eggshells and going back to formalities like he’s barely above a stranger to you.

Miya.

(Did you know that he wanted to make that your last name?

Do you know that he still does, even now?)

“Hey,” he replies back, curling his fingers into fists inside his pocket. He thinks his voice comes out all scratchy, like how it always sounds when you don’t use your voice nearly enough. He clears his throat awkwardly. Everything feels awkward; everything feels wrong. He says “hey”, but what he really means to say is please don’t call me Miya; you know the color of my toothbrush, you don’t have to call me Miya. 

“Were you looking for something?” 

You.

Subconsciously, Atsumu finds himself seeking you out. He walks by another girl on campus and almost breaks his neck with the speed he turns around to catch a whiff of the perfume wafting from her body because he swears it’s the same fragrance you favor. He walks by the building that houses all the classrooms for your specific major, even though it’s located on the opposite side of his own classes because he secretly hopes against all hope that he’ll run into you, and you’ll see him and fall in love with him again. He goes to the same restaurants the two of you frequently ate at together, and he orders your usual because you can never finish your entire meal and always have him finish off the leftovers for you (and the food is always good, but somehow it doesn’t taste the same when your utensils haven’t touched it first). And he doesn’t even need to be here, doesn’t even care enough about his stupid class to go out of his way to buy the study guide, but he knows you’ve started picking up the weekend shifts at the campus bookstore, and suddenly, he cares enough about passing to get the damn study guide. 

He shrugs. “Just some stupid workbook to study for an upcoming exam, but it’s not that serious.” 

“Oh. Is Dr. Furata giving you a hard time again?” 

“How do you do that?” Atsumu blurts out, wanting to kick himself for giving too much of himself away. You already own every centimeter of his heart and maybe his soul. You don’t need anything else from him; he’s almost certain there’s nothing left for him to give you, but he can’t help but impulsively ask the damn question that’s been running through his mind ever since you left him behind. 

Did you know that when you’re confused, your brows furrow together, and you get this adorable, endearing crinkle in between them? Do you know that he still finds that same expression as cute as he did when you still called yourself his girlfriend? 

“What are you talking about?” 

How can you just stand there and act like you never crushed his heart? How do you wake up in the morning and not feel like your life is missing something important, like you’ll never feel whole again? How can you keep him wrapped around your finger, and then have the audacity to not even realize it? How did you let him go so quickly? 

Practicing caution, he swallows hard before clarifying, “How do you know everything?” Because if you can act like he’s just a polite acquaintance, like he’s nothing more than another fellow classmate, he can try to play pretend too. He can act like there’s not enough history between the two of you to fill up every damn textbook in this stupid store. “Yeah, Dr. Furata’s been on everyone’s ass. Somethin’ about midterm grades being worth a quarter of our overall grade.” 

“Believe me, you’re not the first victim of Dr. Furata’s to come wandering in the store. I think I have a few more of the workbooks he suggested in stock. Let me go check.” 

It’s instinct at this point for Atsumu to just follow you. If he uses his imagination, it’s almost like he’s back to browsing in a makeup store, walking aimlessly in every aisle, following you loyally because he’s happy to have you lead the way and he doesn’t care where he ends up, so long as you’re there with him. 

But this isn’t an afternoon date with you. This is him following a bookstore employee. After you find that study guide, which is really nothing more than his flimsy excuse for seeking you out, you’re going to ask him “card or cash?”, ring him up at the register, and he’s going to walk out that door and have to act like he’s still not in love with you. All the while, you’re doing fine. You’re fine right now, and you’re going to be fine when he leaves, and you’re probably going to be fine, five years down the line, when you’re happy with someone else and Atsumu is alone because in this little hypothetical, he still hasn’t gotten over you.

He is trailing behind you in this bookstore, and your back is facing him, and he’s panicking because he doesn’t think he’s capable of not loving you. 

Just two weeks ago, you knew him better than anyone else in the world, maybe even better than Osamu, perhaps even better than he knows himself. Now, you just give him a polite smile as you grab the small stool to reach the books located at the very top of the shelf. 

“God, I hate the way we organize everything in the store.” You say, lightheartedly complaining. He knows you do. He knows because he’s known you for nearly a decade. The two of you have grown up together. You made this same complaint sprawled out on the couch in his apartment. 

When he doesn’t reply, you look down to see if something’s the matter, only to do it too quickly that you find yourself losing your balance. Before you can come crashing to the floor, Atsumu is quick to catch you, and you pretend that his protective embrace isn’t comforting. You pretend not to notice that he’s wearing the cologne you bought him for Christmas last year, and you continue to pretend that you don’t miss him at all, that you don’t still love him. 

And for a second, the two of you both pretend that you’re still with each other. That it’s perfectly okay to savor this intimate moment, that his arms wrapped around your body right now isn’t awkward in the slightest. He’s staring at you with a sort of starstruck, boylike wonder, and it’s so familiar, so sweet, because it’s the way he always used to look at you. His lips part slightly, like he’s about to say something, and—

The loud ring! interrupts whatever moment the two of you are sharing, and you nearly jump out of his arms. You hear the distinct footsteps of another student, and you adjust your shirt before remembering where the two of you are — what the two of you are. Not a couple. Barely even friends. Just a bookstore employee and a student that needs a book. That’s all the two of you are allowed to be.

“I should probably go check up front and make sure they don’t need any help.” You tell him, biting down on your lip. “Anyway, did you need anything else, or would you like me to check you out right now?” 

He blinks a few times, as if still in a daze. “Uh, yeah, sure.” The tips of his ears are flushed a light pink. “Y-yeah, I’m done here.” 

The two of you practically race each other to the front of the store, and you step behind the counter to scan his workbook. He drums his fingers, looking around the store. When he’s nervous, he likes to be moving. You know this. 

Just looking for an excuse to use his hands, Atsumu mindlessly picks a pack of gum off a nearby rack and slides it towards you so you can also scan it. You know you shouldn’t say it. You know it’s supposed to be a clean break. Instead, you tell him, 

“Actually, if you want, I have the fruit variety flavor.” 

“Huh?” This catches his attention. 

You reach into one of the boxes that have just been shipped to the store, rummaging through a tiny one before revealing a shiny, new package of gum, this one advertising all the flavors based on tropical fruits. “Would you rather have this one?” 

“Oh, yeah!” As if truly forgetting what the two of you actually are (exes, strangers with too much history, two people still pretending like they’re not in love), his eyes light up. “How did you kno—” He doesn’t finish the question. He knows the answer to the question. 

You’re quick to finish ringing him up, the “polite strangers” illusion being completely shattered. It’s obvious, really, that there are always going to be parts of Atsumu that still live deep inside of you. You can only hope that this isn’t the case for him. 

You hand him the bag, and when he grabs it from you, your fingers just barely graze each other’s. Atsumu is scared — scared that this might be the last time he ever feels your touch. 

And because you’re a glutton for punishment, you find yourself telling him,

“Don’t be a stranger.”

You can’t tell who’s more devastated: you or him.

[raksh-writes]

Seems like its another no-sleep night. It's half past 4am, its getting light outside, the birds are starting to chirp and wont shut up for the next two hours and I havent been able to even start falling asleep. I am, again, too keyed up and my hearts pounding in my chest. I've already tried what helped last time, no luck. Im exhausted. And no idea why its happening. Again.

Can I just have at least those two hours like last time 😔

[blue-for-the-win]

I had another idea just popped up.

So what if yuu and grim got kidnapped???

The story goes like this;

Yuu and grim got a pass to go outside NRC to go some shopping or like explore. When they were on their way back to NRC a suspicious white van pulled up and the guy inside said: " Wanna go for a ride?" and obviously Yuu and Grim knew that this guy is V suspicious and decided to run. But the guy was just calm and just laughed the whole thing and said: "Ehhh? Ya wanna play hide and seek? Alright. Am It" and proceeds to cgase Yuu and Grim. When he caught up to them they were knocked out by the guy(maybe it wa his magic or sum drug).

BUM BUM BUM!!

*Insert chaos in NRC*

Ace: Hey- have ya seen Yuu or Grim anywhere?

Trey: No I havent seen them since Friday

Cater: Same

Riddle: well maybe their just not feeling well or maybe headmage have smth for them to do

Deuce: That makes some sense but Yuu would've told us that they were doing smth or even sick

Ace: I have a bad feeling... Or maybe its my stomach-

*insert jack*

Jack: Hey umm... have any of you seen Yuu amd Grim anywhere? They've been gone for a while now

Riddle: No we havent seen them since Friday

Cater: Oh yeah! I forgot that they tolled me that they were gonna go explore the town

Trey: When?

Cater: hmmmm the message they sent me says last saturday-

Riddle: WHAT????

Trey: This is bad

Jack: THEY'RE PROBABLY HURT

Deuce: IT HAS BEEN 3 DAYS ALREADY-

Ace: I'll go inform the headmage!!!

*Ace barging in in the headmage office*

Crowley: TRAPPOLA WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?!

Ace: WE THINK YUU AND GRIM GOT KIDNAPPED!!

Crowley:. ..... WHAT????

Ace: They've been gone for about 3 days alread and the last time we saw then was Friday!

Crowley: We must find them immediately!!

(I dont want the press to know I lost a child)

*insert calling noises*

Yuu's phone : Hi! This is Yuu's voicemail speaking- Leave a message after the beep

Beep

Crowley: Child you have been gone for 3 days and we are trully worried for your well being and Grim too- Call us when you get this-

Ace: WTF???? "call us when you get this" WHAT IF THEY'RE IN DANGER??!?? I THOUGHT BETTER OF YOU HEADMAGE!!

*ace leaves*

Ace informs the teachers and the dormheads and they were pissed at Crowley so they take action instead.

( so to sum up really quick- yuu and grim left on saturday afternoon, and had in the present time, its already tuesday)

Adeuce, Cater and the whole Ignihyde dorm tried calling and messaging them to get the signal and track them dowm but to no avail.

Malleus cant tp to them bcus he doesn't know where they are, Rook decided to go out and find them himself along side with Epel and Jack.

The rest are hoping and praying to the great seven's they are fine.

With Yuu and Grim (Sunday)

Yuu is still knocked out while grim is trapped inside a small cage.

Grim: HENCHMAN!! DONT YA DIE ON ME!

HEY! YOU!! LET US OUT OF HERE!!

Kidnapper: *chuckles* And why would I? I cant let my adorable yuu go now~ I just got them!

Grim: YOURE SICK!

Kidnapper: Scream all ya want lil tanuki, No one will hear you even if you scream at the verry top of your lungs, so If I were you I would just shut up.

Grim: ....

Kidnapper: Such obedient little tanuki! Now I know why Yuu always reward you with tunna! Youre just so interesting yet adorable

Yuu starts to wake up and is registering what is happening.

Yuu: What- Where am I?

Grim: HENCHMAN YER FINALLY AWAKE!!

Yuu: Huh? Grim, whats going on??

Kidnapper: Ah, Youre awake! Finally- I thought I accidentally killed you!

Yuu: WHO TF ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO???

Kidnapper: I cant go into detail now love~ you will soon find out.

The kidnapper took Grim and move hine somewhere far

Yuu: HEY! DONT YOU DARE DO ANYTHING TO GRIM!

Grim: YUU!!!! HELP ME!!!

Yuu: GRIM!!! grrrrrr!!! Thsi stupid ropes!!

To be continued- Yeah amma leave a cliff hanger cuz it is now 12:00 in the morning ppl and am gonna sleep.

Nighties ( ◜‿◝ )♡

[happys-crazy-queen22]

I'm The Right One For You

Gif credit @spooky-cory.

Requested by @stellarosedutton. I hope you like it Thanks for the request.

"Rip, Rip, babe"? Snapping your fingers in front of Rips face. You were trying to talk to him about the kids but he seemed like he had something more interesting on his mind and in his sight.

"What"? Rip, huffed turning his head to look at you.

"Where are you right now? I'm talking about the kids and you're off in lala land".

"I have lots of shit on my mind. I cant be talking about the kids, right now". Rip grumbled and grabbed his beer off the table and walked out the door.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you watched the kids play with their uncles. You knew this job was hard on Rip but you thought it would be easier if you and the kids were there to help out.  But it just seemed to make things worse for Rip and you.

"You okay"? Lloyd came over and sat down in Rips spot.

"Yeah. I'm good".

"You know, ever since you and Rip got together. I could tell when you lie. It wasnt very often but when you did, you always said "I'm good". Not your normal bubbly self. So what's up"?

"I think, Beth Dutton has finally sunk her claws into Rip. She has been awfully flirty with him and he just shrugged it off at first but now I think they have something going on".

"Why do you think that"?

"He's distance. He never comes home at a descent hour nowadays. We havent had a conversation longer that "get to work". I'm starting to worry.  We havent had sex in months. We use to do it every night".

Lloyd couldnt hold in his laughter. "I'm very aware of that. We could hear you miles away. But dont think to much into it. He's just stressed and hes working to hard". Lloyd tried to reassure you but it didn't help.

"I know. But something is wrong and he wont talk to me". You sigh running your hand through your hair.

"You need some sleep. Why don't you take the kids and head to bed. We'll be quiet".

"Yeah. Thanks for the talk, Lloyd".

"Anytime, sugar". Lloyd sent you a wink as you grabbed up Carson, your 2 year old son and Neveah, your 3 year old daughter with Rip.

Carson was already asleep when you hit home, just a walk down the trial. Neveah was a little chatter box. Opening the door on the house, you got a not so suprising shock. Your suspicions were right. Quickly covering Neveahs eyes with your hand.

"You cheating fucking bastard". Your voice made Beth giggle and Rip freak when he saw you.

"Its not what it looks like". Rip tried to explain.

"Did you slip in shit and went dick first into Beth's pussy"? You asked sarcastically.

"Dont cuss in front of the kids".

"Oh so you can cheat on their mother in front of them. Because this right here will scar them for life before me saying dick and pussy will. You fucking asshole". You grabbed up Neveah and headed back to the bunkhouse.

You kicked the door open as Rip was behind you. Everyone got quiet as you came in.

"Did you all know"? You asked everyone staring at you.

"No". Lloyd looked at you then to Rip with a disappointing look.

"Can you watch them so I can cool off and figure out what to do? Because I'm not staying here". You handed Ryan Neveah and laid Carson down on the beside him.

"Yeah, no problem".

You started outside and grabbed a sledgehammer on your way out that leaned against the house.

"Y/N, what are you doing"? Kayce heard the ruckus and came running out of the main house. Rip didnt follow you. He was probably getting a ear full from Lloyd and the others. They seemed to care about you more than Rip did.

"Stay out of this Kayce". You growled, going up to Beth's car and smashing her back windshield.

"Oh fuck". Kayce exclaimed, his hands going to his hair.

You smashed in her side windows and then her windshield with ease. You were beyond pissed.

"No no no". Kayce went to waving his arms.

Then you went on to Rips truck, you climbed on to his hood and smashed his windshield.

"That's my truck". Kayce yelled his neck vein popping out as the moonlight hit him.

You looked in the truck, there wasn't two carseats for the kids. "Why didn't you tell me beforehand". You screamed back.

"What does no no no mean to you"? Kayce dramatically through up his arms.

"Sorry". You got down from the hood of the truck and walked over to Kayce, who was having a nervous breakdown over his windshield.

"Where's Rips truck"?

"At your house, I'm guessing. Damn it, Y/N. Why did you do that for"?

"I caught Beth fucking Rip in our house".

"Shit, I'm sorry. You can continue on her car if you want"? Kayce chuckled, he tried covering his crying as he went up to his truck. "I love this truck".

"I'll pay for the windshield. Well, Rip will".

"Yeah, okay". Kayce sniffled and turned around to you. "You wanna talk about it"?

"Nah. I'm okay. I saw it coming. It was just a matter of time. I just wish that Naveah hadn't seen it". You handed Kayce the sledgehammer.

"Oh no. I'm sorry. That sucks".

"Yeah, so I'm going to go get the kids and go home. Rip can fuck off. Sorry again about your windshield".

"You need help? Um carrying the kids"?

"Sure. Thanks". You slightly smiled and went to the bunkhouse. When you got in the kids were asleep. Rip was gone and the guys were quietly playing poker.

"Thanks for watching them. I appreciate it". You told Lloyd and the others as you scooped up Carson.

"Any time. We're sorry about you and Rip. We gave him a lashing.  He's sorry".

"Yeah, well. Fuck him. Thanks again".

Kayce and you started walking down to your house. The lights were out so you knew Rip wasnt home.

"You sure you want to stay here? You know, after what happened"? Kayce asked walking up the stairs, Naveahs arms wrapped around his neck.

"Shit. I didnt think of that. We'll just avoid the couch. Just put the kids in their beds". You chuckle as you opened the door. You averted your eyes and headed to Carsons room.  Laying him down gently and kissing his head, before stepping out. Kayce met you in the hall way.

"Before you go can you help me"?

"Sure. Anything".

"You want me to touch that"? Kayce gagged as you laughed. You wanted the couch out of the house.

"Just grab it and let's go".

"They were naked. Doing the nasty".

"I thought you were a country boy. Not afraid of anything. Not some wimp".

"You've seen Rip naked and shit. I havent. I dont want the mental picture and his DNA all over my hands".

"Quit whining. I didnt want to see your sister balls deep on my boyfriend but I did. You can handle a little Rip jizz". You say with a laugh as Kayce dropped his side on the ground quickly wiping his hands off on his jacket with a disgusting face.

"You alright there"?

"Peachy".

"You alright"? Kayce asked.

"Surprisingly well. I thought I couldn't live without Rip, but after catching him. I dont want anything to do with him. Every time I see his face my skin crawls". You say putting your end of the couch down and dusting off your hands.

"Want some coffee"? You asked Kayce.

"You want company"? He replied.

"Yeah, I wont be able to sleep so might as well stay up with you". You snicker as Kayce playfully nudged your arm.

"Gee, thanks. I'm so glad I can keep you company".

"Um, when did you know Beth was after Rip"? Kayce questioned when you set his cup down in front of him.

"Months ago. When we all went to the rodeo. I took the kids to the bathroom and when I came back she had her head and arm laying on him. He just shrugged her off when he saw me. So I knew something would happen or had already happened". You gulped down the steaming hot coffee in your mouth.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not my place to say it but you're better without him".

"What you mean"?

"I mean no disrespect but what does he exactly do for you and the kids? He's hardly ever home. I've never seen him take the kids riding or even play with them. The horse hands do more than he has since you been here. I just dont know what you saw in him". Kayce felt he was treading on thin ice when he said that.

"When I met him, he was drunk. He's funny when he's drunk. We started dating, had Neveah then Carson and everything after changed when we moved in with him. Like we're stepping on his toes or something. Now he doesn't talk to me. So I guess what I saw in him.... I'm not sure anymore".

"You're a single mom basically. Now you're a single woman. What are your plans"?

"I dont know. I guess I can move back to my old house. It hasn't sold yet. Put the kids in daycare and still work here. But then Rip wouldnt want that and I dont want to see Beth all over him. So I'll have to get another job".

"You're really going to leave"? Kayce acted crushed.

"There's nothing here for me".

"I'm here. The guys are here". Kayce licked his lips as he looked at your lips.

"They dont want a mother with two kids here, weighing them down. Especially you, you dont need that".

"What if I want that"? Kayce looked into your eyes.

"Kayce, stop".

"What? I know you feel this connection between us. It's been there". Kayce stepped closer to you. His hand reached for yours on the counter top.

"I just broke up with Rip. You really decided that this was the perfect time to confess your love for me". You nervous chuckle.

"There isn't a better time then now. I want you. I may not be the man Rip is but I'll take care of you and the kids. I'll treat them as my own. You can move in with me and smother me with your toys and love". Kayce grinned.

"They do have lots of toys". You say looking around the house.

"What about Rip and Beth"?

"They have each other. Why cant we be happy together"?

"I dont know, Kayce".

"We'll take it slow. How about this Saturday, we go on a date. The guys can watch the kids and we'll get to know each other. I'm funny without being drunk,  I have other great things about me. Plus I'm cute and you can't say no to this face". Kayce pointed to his face with a smirk.  

"Okay. I'll go on a date with you. I don't want to hurt the kids if they get attached and we dont make it".

"I understand. But I have a feeling we're going to make it. I even see a little Dutton in our future". Kayce pulled you close, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Is this you being funny or have you lost your mind"? You laugh, putting your hands on his chest.

"I'm just sure that we'll be together. We're going to have a great future together". Kayce leans in and captures your lips with his.

This all took you by surprise. You didnt know Kayce felt this way about you. But deep down you felt in your heart that this all happened for a reason and Kayce was meant for you. You just took a detour, a bumpy road and went off a cliff but was rescued by a cowboy named Kayce Dutton imagine that.

[20thcentury-kylo]

Housamo Prompt #3 "Then Fight It- and kiss me anyway~"

"Well then fight it, and kiss me anyway"

~Hope you guys are enjoying these~

He couldn't unsee it.

The sound of his own tears falling upon their lifeless body. He couldn't unhear it. The numbness of his own bloodied fingers holding on- trying desperately to keep them with him if only for a moment longer. He couldn't unfeel it. The white void that followed as they dissapear from his arms in a burst of light- Ryota can't handle it. The thought hasn't left his head since then.

He.... had killed them.

Things had seemingly returned to normal after the genociders exception, however the experience still vividly rests in Ryota's mind. The horrible memories that were forced upon him re-visit as dreams- nightmares that stir in the calmness of night. His Cheery smiles falter slightly as he remembers them.

It's harder to look into their eyes now. The soft glow of Kiomes' eyes that seemingly peer straight into his soul. The flutters that once lifted the redheads heart now sink with jarring anxiety. When the Chubby swordsman had first asked him out- Ryota couldn't be any more elated, that far off feeling that he'd been yearning for- for so long was finally in his reach. Now he can't help but laugh cynically to himself at the notion.

'Who could ever love someone who's murdered them..'

--

Ryota is good at putting up fronts- friendly smiles and light hearted jokes work well to mask the crushing fears and doubts plaging his mind, however...

Kiome Sees right through them

Kiome can feel the unease in Ryota's gaze, the fearful trembling as their hands intertwine, he can hear the toss and turns of his sheets night after night. He knows that feeling all to well, and wishes he could make his troubled partner realize that he doesn't have to be alone in this. The dragon-born transient has never been one to run away from his problems. He has no past to hide in, so he must constantly run forward no matter the obstacle. Even if he has no clear answer, that wont stop him from trying.

It's a peaceful Saturday evening, Ryota notes as he travels the dorms sunlit halls. The golden sunset hue removes him from the confines of his own thoughts for now. Kiome had asked him to me at the dorms rooftop after their guild meeting. The redhead could only imagine that whatever it was- it was serious considering he wanted to be alone. Ryota can't help but think that maybe he's finally caught on- that Kiomes' finally realized how horrible he is and wants nothing to do with him. The thought creeps upon him- the anxiety forming a lump in his throat.

The rooftop is quiet- faint winds breezing through the nearly whispy clouds above. Ryota finds his beloved there resting upon one of the slanted platforms, gazing into the reddish- orange sky. The young guild master motions for Ryota to join him, and together they sit in a calming silence.

After awhile Kiome sits up and turns to his red haired partner. That same look boreing into his very being- Ryota shifts uncomfortably under his gaze, that previous anxiety seeping its way back into the young boys' mind. He sits up in turn- a faint blush upon his features as he struggles to meet their eyes.

"Ryota.." The redheads' eyes shift further down at his names calling.

"Are you...ok? I know you havent been sleeping well.." Ryota looks up at him with an expression crossed between hurt and confusion. Why- why was he worried about him, how could he after all that happened. Ryota quickly regains his composure shifting into a nervous laughter as he responds.

"Oh that, it's no big deal- those exceptions we fought were just a little scary is all." It's a terrible lie, he knows that but his mind is starting to frenzy and he can't think straight. Kiome moves to place his hand atop Ryotas' causing the chalice wielding summoner to flinch at the contact. He doesn't understand, doesn't he know what Ryota did. How could he possibly look at him the same- with those eyes full of light.

The doubts in his mind swell and swarm around- fears inflating in his chest, he can hardly breathe. Tears peak from the corner of his eyes- the nervous smile on his face faltering into a spattered mess.

"You can talk to me ya know-" Kiome's trying to approach calmly but his own feelings are getting the better of him, the pained expression on his classmates- features no doubt because of him.

"It's-.. nothing, just remembering what happened.." Ryotas' facade has faded completely, as more tears well up in his eyes. This is too much for him, he doesn't understand and it scares the hell out of him. Truly afraid of losing something he may have never had.

"It's Ok- Im here for you." Ryota Jerks back at the sound of those words, a wild flurry of emotions bursting from his eyes- Kiome knew what was coming next.

"Thats just it!! You're always there for me even when I-!" Ryota chokes on his own words, he's never admitted to it out loud before, and he's afraid that doing so will sweep everything between them away.

"And I-!" He tries again to no avail.

"Plunged my own sword right through my heart..."Kiome finishes. Of course he'd seen it- countless loops, the tears of the boy infront of him.. he'd never forget.

"Exactly so why do you-" Ryota's panicking now, he can't finish a complete thought let alone put it into words. The crippling fear of whats coming holds him in place unable to run.

"Do you remember what I said..."

//There they sat among a torrent battlefield. Kiome laid in Ryotas' arms as the last of his life force slowly drains from him- strangely enough he can't feel the sword sheathed in his heart, not like it mattered anyway.

"I'm- I'm so sorry-" Ryotas' words are choked and jumbled, but the dying boy in his arms hears them perfectly. He lifts a hand- placing it upon his lovers tear stained cheek.

"Don't be... I was- really glad I got to meet you" //

Ryotas' eyes widen at the sudden realization. The words rang clearly in his mind- how could he have forgotten something so important.

"I-" It's as if the lingering cloud of fear and shame had suddenly been lifted from his heart. Kiome moves forward- arms outstretched to embrace the redhead, yet he flinches away.

"I'm sorry it's just- this feeling.. scares the hell outta me." The dragon-born transient pauses for a moment before advancing once again.

"Well then fight it- and kiss me anyway~" Wrapping his arms around Ryota- he embraces the feeling, any fears and doubts his partner had he wouldn't face them alone. The memories of grief and regret rise from Ryotas' chest, and for the 1st time in awhile- he feels like he can breath again. Kiome pulls back to look into his eyes ever determined, ever glowing.

"I- I can try-" Ryota is still trembling, but his partner accepts this kiss nonetheless, melding every emotion they've had into a colorful light- rivalling the sunset itself.

Fin~

(Comments/reviews are very much appreciated)

[beautyindisguise00]

WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD?

Friday night October 16 2020 @5:50pm

1. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? Wisconsin

2. WHERE DO YOU LIVE AND FOR HOW LONG? i’ve been in wisconsin my whole life of 24 years. lived in my hometown all the way til i moved to college. after i finished college i decided to stay in the town i went to college in for work purposes

3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT WHERE YOU LIVE? the different options around town of where to shop, eat, and other fun things to do

4. WHAT DID YOU LOVE THE MOST ABOUT THE TOWN YOU GREW UP IN? the lake. i love the fact that the lake was only a 5 minute drive and i was able to go there whenever i wanted. but also, the memories of the town.

5. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? not anymore

6. WHAT WAS YOUR 1ST PET’S NAME? thumperlina for my big fat brown bunny

7. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

8. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? i watch a lot of movies so i dont really have a favorite

9. FAVORITE MOVIE IN THE PAST 5 YEARS? avengers infinity war. avengars endgame, crazy rich asians, knives out, and maleficent 1 and 2

10. WHAT’S A MOVIE THAT YOU LAUGHED THE HARDEST DURING? ouf, i dont remember

11. WHAT’S A MOVIE YOU CRIED THE HARDEST DURING? avengars, crazy rich, and also while you were sleeping but that’s a drama

12. WHAT’S THE BEST-ANIMATED MOVIE EVER CREATED? the good dinosaur

13. FAVORITE TV SHOW? my two all-time favorites are one tree hill and the office

14. FAVORITE TV SHOW THAT IS CURRENTLY ON? chicago pd and fire

15. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT? olive garden?

16. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicken alfredo, really good sushi, fried rice, curry

17. LEAST FAVORITE FOOD? any seafood --> shrimp, oysters, clams

18. WHAT TOPPINGS DO YOU GET ON YOUR PIZZA? pineapple and ham. hahaha yes, im that kind of person

19. FAVORITE BEVERAGE? coffee, strawberry lemondae

20. FAVORITE DESSERT? cheesecake or red velvet cake

21. IS THERE A DESSERT YOU DON’T LIKE? pumpkin pie

22. CAKE OR PIE? cake!

23. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? mackinaw island fudge, mint chocolate chip, strawberry cheesecake

24. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CONDIMENT? honey mustard

25. WHAT DO YOU GET FOR BRUNCH? crepes with nutella and strawberries

26. IT’S 4 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT, WHAT DO YOU EAT? fried noodles with two poached eggs

27. WHAT ONE THING DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR FRIDGE AT ANY GIVEN TIME? eggs

28. WEIRDEST THING YOU’VE EVER EATEN? duck and this one indian thing i dont remember

29. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BAND? one direction and tenth avenue north

30. FAVORITE SOLO ARTIST? liam payne, harry styles, niall horan, louis tomlinson, zayn malik. hahaha and ed sheeran, halsey, 

31. FAVORITE NONLIVING MUSICIAN? --

32. FAVORITE LYRICS? “and if the whole world was watching, i’d still dance with you” “baby im falling. head over heels. looking for ways to let you know just how i feel”

33. FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME? theres no way i could choose

34. FAVORITE ALBUM? again ^^

35. WHAT’S THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? currently singing like to the “while you were sleeping” ost  right now “it’s you” by henry

36. IF YOUR LIFE WERE A SONG WHAT WOULD THE TITLE BE? beauty in disguise 

37. WHAT SONG WOULD YOU PROBABLY BE CAUGHT DANCING ALONE TO? any of my current favorites right now

38. IF YOU COULD SING A DUET WITH SOMEBODY WHO WOULD IT BE? halsey. that would be so cool

39. IF YOU COULD MASTER ONE INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE? guitar 

40. WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO KARAOKE SONG? ugh, i hate karaoke 

41. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING OR THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? probably back when i was rereading one of the “to all the boys i’ve loved” trilogy 

42. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU PLAN ON READING? prayer by tim keller. i just ordered it online and it should be coming in on monday

43. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WAS READING IT? twilight series. haha

44. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT POSITIVELY SHAPED YOU? mhmm...i dont remember. not that it posititive shaped me but the great gatsby was really interesting. also, when i was student teaching, i read number the stars with my kids and it was a great historical fiction book to read

45. WHAT’S A BOOK IN SCHOOL THAT YOU HATED? i didnt hate it, but there was this one book we read in ap lit and as a project, my friends made the movie version of it

46. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK? to all the boys trilogies 

47. WHAT’S A BOOK YOU WISH YOU HAD WRITTEN? ^^

48. DARK CHOCOLATE OR MILK CHOCOLATE? i like both but if i had to choose, then dark

49. UNDERWATER OR OUTER SPACE? underwater like in a submarine or something were i knew i was safe

50. DOGS OR CATS? dogs for sure

51. KITTENS OR PUPPIES? ohh, puppies of course 

52. DOLPHINS OR KOALAS? dolphins! i really wanted to swim with dolphins when i was in florida but it didnt work out in our schedule 

53. BIRD WATCHING OR WHALE WATCHING? whale watching

54. WHAT IS YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL? i dont really know. probably a sea otter. haha theyre so chill and they stick around with their peeps 

55. TO BE OR NOT TO BE? aint that the question to be answered

56. IPHONE OR ANDROID? iphone

57. TWITTER OR INSTAGRAM? insta

58. VINE OR SNAPCHAT? snap. i never had a vine but i remember watching a few vines. well i guess tik tok is the new vine now

59. WHO SHOULD EVERYONE BE FOLLOWING RIGHT NOW? Jesus. haha kidding not kidding

60. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE APP? WEBSITE? probably youtube

61. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? psych 

62. WHAT WAS YOUR BEST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? psych and math 

63. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? ap lit 

64. WHAT SUBJECT WOULD YOU TEACH IN SCHOOL? psych or a lower level math class 

65. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL? enjoy what you love doing as much as you can

66. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF AT 13? girl, be confident. you are beautiful. you are smart. and you are enough. dont worry about what others think and dont worry about the future because i got you. 

67. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′0

68. WHO IS YOUR FASHION ICON? eh, no one really

69. WHAT’S YOU FAVORITE FASHION TREND? well since right now is fall, i really like long cardigan with cute booties 

70. WHAT ARE 3 THINGS YOU ALWAYS HAVE IN YOUR BAG (BESIDES PHONE AND WALLET)? phone charger, hand sanitizer, and a mask. haha oh covid days

71. WHAT IS A CURRENT TREND YOU HOPE DOESN’T EXIST IN 100 HUNDRED YEARS? masks

72. WHAT’S YOUR MUST HAVE FASHION ACCESSORY? eyebrows done? haha my clothing fashion is pretty simple so i dont really have accessories but maybe a watch i guess 

73. HEELS OR FLATS? depends. on a day to day then flats but for special occasions then heels

74. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? eh, i guess i like both 

75. BLOW-DRY OR AIR-DRY? usually air dry unless i need to be ready asap

76. WHAT COLOR DRESS DID YOU WEAR TO PROM? i didnt really attend my high school dances. my first and last hs dance was homecoming and that was only because i was on the homecoming court. i wore a red strapless dress

77. FAVORITE COCKTAIL? sex on the beach, mimosas, strawberry daiquiris, margaritas 

78. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER AT STARBUCKS? white chocolate mocha. either hot or iced depending on the weather 

79. COFFEE OR TEA? coffee. i tried to drink more tea but i always resort back to coffee. haha

80. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE? i usually make my coffee at home. i just put in a mocha or caramel kcup then add in creamer. some days i’ll add in half and half or some chocolate/caramel syrup

81. WHO IS A PERSON YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH? megan markle. odd but why not 

82. WHAT HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH? general vang pao

83. IF YOU COULD LIVE IN ANY HISTORICAL DECADE, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHERE? probably the 90s

84. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COUNTRY TO VISIT? havent left mine yet. haha

85. WHAT’S THE LAST COUNTRY YOU VISITED? my own. haha

86. WHAT’S A COUNTRY YOU WISH TO VISIT? somewhere in the east. maybe like france or italy or korea or taiwan

87. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE STATE TO VISIT? florida

88. WHAT’S THE LAST STATE YOU VISITED? michigan

89. WHAT’S A STATE YOU WISH TO VISIT? colorado, new york, california 

90. WHAT’S THE BEST VACATION SPOT? bora bora! ouuu someday for me i hope!

91. WHERE DOES ONE GO ON A PERFECT ROAD TRIP? honestly, anywhere. just gather your friends, pack up, stock up, and drive

92. FAVORITE CITY? right now, probably orlando 

93. PILATES OR YOGA? i like both but if i had to choose then yoga

94. JOGGING OR SWIMMING? swimming!

95. FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT? ugh, at home

96. LEAST FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT? at the gym lifting weight. i always feel so awkward

97. BEST WAY TO DECOMPRESS? shower, then dinner and movie in bed with a glass of wine

98. WHAT’S THE BEST FIRST DATE IDEA? dinner and a drive to a fun spot

99. WHAT’S LOVE? genuine love towards someone regardless of their flaws, always

100. MAJOR TURN ON? neck kisses, vlines, touching

101. MAJOR TURN OFF? bad hygiene, rudeness, cockiness

102. WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING A GUY HAS DONE OR SAID TO TRY AND IMPRESS YOU? stalk my facebook and screen shot my old posts and send them to me OR ignoring my non-subtle hints that i have a boyfriend and do not want to hangout alone to “netflix and chill”

103. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM? their smile and personality and how they made me feel

104. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? nah

105. BEST GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED? im not really a big gift person but my mom gave me a micheal kors winter jacket

106. LAST GIFT YOU GAVE A FRIEND? i bought some baby shower gifts to my boyfriend’s brother and sister-in-law’s baby, baby Grace :)

107. BEST GIFT TO GET FOR SOMEONE? like a generic gift? probably wine or a watch depending on the occasion 

108. WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD? my boyfriend coming to visit me last christmas because i was so stress out and i thought we were suppose to meet up around christmas but he had his own plans that i was not aware of which then made me even more stress when i found out his plans but overall it was a very nice surprise and definitely helped me destress afterwards

109. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? white

110. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? probably brown

111. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF FLOWER? i dont think i have one

112. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIAN? dont have one either 

113. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE ACTION STAR? chris evans, tom holland

114. BEST SUPERHERO CREATED? captain america

115. IF YOU HAD ONE SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE? to teleport 

116. WHAT’S YOUR KRYPTONITE? too much snow. haha

117. BIGGEST PHOBIA? deep waters and heights

118. FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE? dont have one 

119. FAVORITE DISNEY CHARACTER? ^^

120. FAVORITE HOLIDAY? christmas

121. WHAT’S YOUR BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME? a dead bride. haha

122. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PLOT-TWIST? whenever my favorite characters in a tv show gets killed off

123. IF YOU COULD DO A FLASH-MOB WHERE WOULD IT BE? new york, like how cliche and iconic that would be

124. WHAT’S THE COOLEST THING IN YOUR BEDROOM? my pineapple lamp

125. IF YOU GOT A TATTOO WHERE WOULD IT BE? probably on my side or somewhere on my arm

126. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CURSE WORD? shiiiiiiiiiit

127. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? exploding kittens not really a board game but close enough

[snowlilys-wife]

85 Statements~!

Whew okay, finally got around to this. I was tagged by @crazyanime3, @catslab, and @adeslowmoqueen

The Last :

1.) drink: Dr Pepper 2.) phone call: The discord chat lol 3.) text message: Asia :3 4.) song you listened to:  Smoke and Mirrors cover by Lollia 5.) time you cried: Chatting with Briana a few days ago, because she made me really happy, so I teared up lol. Im a sap 6.)dated someone twice: Technically not, but we were “unofficially together” on and off before he finally broke up with me in high school. 7.) kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t regret kissing him since we were together at the time, but I do remember being caught making out during school hours and that caused a lot of drama. 8.) been cheated on: Nope 9.) lost someone special: Yeah... 10.) been depressed: Every day lolol 11.) gotten drunk and thrown up: Not of age yet. Next year~!

3 favorite colors:

12.) Cerulean blue 13.) Black 14.) Red

In the Last year have you:

15. made new friends: Yes! My online friends here on tumblr and discord! 16. fallen out of love: I was forced to after being broken up with. 17. laughed until you cried: Yes ahaha. 18. found out someone was talking about you: The other day, at work, yes. It was very frustrating 19. met someone who changed you: Yep 20. found out who your friends are: I feel like I have, yes. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Both my ex and my current bf are on my FB so yes ahaha

General

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t have Facebook friends that I don’t know irl 23. do you have any pets: My family has 3 dogs and tbh, im sick of them lolol 24. do you want to change your name: Nah, im good haha 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I worked and then just hung out with my friend? lolol 26. what time did you wake up: About 8am or so because of work. I’m looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow <3 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Chatting with Asia about SakuMahi lolol 28. name something you can’t wait for the announcement for: OvO??? Uhhhh maybe more voltron since thats recent right now? XD lolol idk. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Around 10:30 or so (Its 12:30 am rn) 31. what are you listening to right now:  Friend Like Me - NeYo cover 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nope. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: Many...MANY things lately. my boss is a big pain in the ass right now though 34. most visited website: Tumblr and Discord lately <3 35. hair color: Light brown (dyeing it red tomorrow ^_^) 36. long or short hair: Short 37. do you have a crush on someone: Yehhhh <333 my bf ahaha. Also I have tons of friend crushes too ;3  38. what do you like about yourself: whew uh... depends on the day 39. piercings: two ear piercings in both ear lobes and then 2 cartilage ear piercings on one side 40. blood type: I actually have no idea tbh 41. nickname: Ino pretty much it ahaha. (Although the discord peeps have started calling me “Han” and idk how i feel about this yet lololol jk yall can call me whatever you want XD) 42. relationship status: Taken~ 😘 43. zodiac: Leo 44. pronouns: She/her but honestly I shouldnt have to say that 45. favourite tv show: Changes too often, but some all time favorites are Durarara, Ouran, Servamp, and the Total Drama series 46. tattoos: None 47. right or left handed: Right handed. 48. surgery: No... unless you count stitches? 50. sport: I played softball for 2 years in high school, but not since then 51. vacation: Going to Disneyland for my birthday on Saturday and Sunday :3 52. pair of trainers: idk....?

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Nothing atm 54. drinking: Nothin 55. about to: Lay down after I get this post done lolol 56. waiting for: too many things 57. want: too many things 58. get married: I plan on it, yes. My bf and I have talked about it many times 59. career: I want to be a freelance digital artist and do commissions and stuff but ya know

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: Kisses. I love kissing <3 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Taaaaalllll >;D 63. older or younger: I prefer being older despite the responsibilities 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arms i guess? I really dont mind 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, definitely.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: No way 68. drank hard liquor: Not 21 yet 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes! its so annoying when you lose your glasses and you CANT SEE. i feel like Velma when that happens. 70. turned someone down: Surprisingly a lot???? Idk why people like me?????? 71. sex on the first date: No no no no way 72. broken someone’s heart: Probably...I dont want to think about that ;;; 73. had your heart broken: oh man...... a lot

74. been arrested: I am a good noodle 75. cried when someone died: I’m surprisingly apathetic in those situations... It’s not intentional! But I just cant cry 76. fallen for a friend: Whew...every time man.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: On good days 78. miracles: Definitely 79. love at first sight: Nah. It needs time to grow 80. santa clause: Never have really. 81. kiss on the first date: If the timing is right and it feels right, then you do you. I personally wouldn’t unless I was absolutely sure 82. angels: Yes

OTHER:

84. eye color: Brown. 85. favorite movies: Emperor’s New Groove and Iron Giant

WOOO I DID IT.

ALL DONE

Most of my friends have already been tagged, but ya know, I’ll tag the ones I havent seen do it yet.

@mermaibee @twofabricatedtruths @kavourikarma @allshewhispers @tina-nightray @angel-of-music-hyde-no-longer