#I hope I gave y'all whiplash!

[spookysteddie]

Always Comin’ Home to You

Gator Tillman x fem!reader

18+ MINOR DNI

dec: after a fight with his step-mother Gator comes home late, scaring you. His bruises tell you of the day he had and all he wants is to feel you.

cw: Swearing, abandonment, mental / physical abuse (Roy to Gator), domestic abuse (Roy to Karen), bruises, mention of death, implication of anxiety, murder, toxic religion themes, gator calls his step-mom a cunt, crying, fingering, daddy kink, dd/lg themes if you squint, Gator calls himself her God (what's the name for that?), unprotected penetrative sex, cream pie, promises. (let me know if I missed anything)

wc: 3.7k

a/n: I need Gator Tillman like I need to fucking breathe. This man is WOW. I just want to pet him and tell him he is, in fact, a winner and then suck him off. Anyway, I hope y'all like this heheh

...

Gator Tillman didn’t have a lot of good things in his life. 

Between his mother leaving, his father being as asshole and everything in between, Gator was a little fucked up and very morally gray. Doing his daddy's dirty work in the hopes Roy will finally be proud of him. 

Now, there was one good thing (or person) in his life, one human who brought out the best in him. One person who saw him for the person he was deep inside. The one who saw him as a winner. 

You. 

You were everything Gator could ever dream of, his perfect girl. 

“Gator? Baby have you seen my sunglasses?” You pull some clothes out of the hamper, double (triple) checking that they weren’t in there. “Do you have them? Are they in your cruiser?!” 

You hear Gators heavy footsteps before he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, “have ya checked on top of ya head?” You can hear the smugness in his voice and instantly you want to punch him. 

You were an angel and subsequently the sweetest girl. Shit, you make Gator catch and release the spiders you find in the house because you ‘want someone to grant you the same kindness in life’. Whatever that means. But of course he does it, because the last thing he wants is to make you cry. 

Well, that’s not true. He loves making you cry while your wrapped around his cock, fucking you so deep and hard that you can’t form a complete thought. Only then does he enjoy the tears streaming down your face. 

But at the same time, you had a wicked attitude. One he liked to fuck outta you at every opportunity. And when you look up at him he knows it’s coming. 

“Do they look like they’re on my fuckin’ head, Gator? Jesus Christ.” But he doesn't fail to notice you subtly check in the mirror to make sure they aren’t actually on your head. They aren’t, for the record. 

Gator is not like his daddy. Does he have his fathers attitude? Absolutely. But he has never raised his hand to you outside of the bedroom, much to his fathers dislike. Claiming he’s watched his father beat on his step-mother and even though he hates her – only because she gave birth to his twin sisters, giving his father two more chances to fuck their futures up – he doesn’t think it’s right. 

He balls his fists, nails digging into the center of his hand. He has too much shit to do today and, frankly, doesn’t have time for this shit. “Watch ya mouth bunny. Lucky my dad aint home to hear you take Christs name in vain.” 

Gator is right. His daddy already doesn't like you, doesn’t think you’re Godly enough. He also seems to think you’re an idiot simply because Gator does everything for you, even down to tying your shoes. It’s something Gator likes doing, taking care of you as it helps ease his mind. 

But at the same time Roy wonders how his son could catch and keep a girl like you. It’s emotional whiplash most of the time. Of course, Gator takes the brunt of his daddy's issues when it comes to you, never letting his daddy so much as look wrong in your direction. 

You sigh, running your hands down your pink skirt, “look, can you please help me find them? You know my eyes don’t do well with the sun bouncing off the snow.” 

His eyes soften, loving when you need his help, “I’m willin’ to bet they’re in the cruiser on the floor boards.” 

Your face heats as you remember exactly why they’d be on the floor of the cruiser, your escapades from your little meeting at the police station last night. There was always that preliminary fuck before going back to Roys (cause God forbid Gator ever come stay at your place. His daddy needs him nice and close.) considering you don’t know how to keep your moans quiet. So, he tires you out, not so much that you can’t drive back to his place, but just enough to where you’re silent during round two and three and four. 

The cold nips at your bare legs, winter just as brutal as every other year in this godforsaken state. You swear it never gets easier, winter, and the older you get the more you think about moving south. You think Gator would like the warmer weather, probably find the warmth soothing. 

“Ah ha! Got ‘em!” Gator hands them to you with a huge smile on his face. He looks almost boy-like. It’s rare he has a genuine smile, especially when his daddy is around. 

“Gator,” his step-mothers voice rings out from the porch, making you both jump. He doesn’t turn around, doesn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing his frustration. “Stop yellin’ cause your sisters are sleepin’!” 

“Karen, they’re at the other end of this fuckin house and your scratchy ass voice is louder than me.” 

You can see her huff, “I should call your father!” 

He sighs, turning on his heel, “I don’t think that’ll be a good idea. Dad’s… a little busy today.” Gator knows exactly what his daddy is busy with, not that he’d ever tell you. Terrified that he would somehow put you in danger. 

You know that there was shit his daddy made him do. Things that forced him to come home with black eyes, bloody lips and bruises on his knuckles and body. It hurt your heart every time he came home like that, telling you it was nothing while he winces as he takes off his clothes. 

Karen seethes from the porch and you see her look from Gator to you and back. Gator, who notices everything, sees it and steps in front of you, pushing you behind him. “Don’t look at her like that, Karen.” 

That seems to annoy her more, “she better not be here tonight. You hear me? Don’t need your sisters hearin the stuff you two get up to at night.” 

“Not any worse than dads hands hittin’ your face while they sit at the kitchen table.” You cringe at his statement, seeing Roy hit Karen more times than you can count. “You don’t run this house. Or tell me what to do.” He spits on the ground and turns away, waiting till he hears the door slam to speak. 

“I fuckin hate her. She’s sucha little bitch.” 

You wrap your arms around his middle, breathing him in. “Can stay at mine tonight if you want. Don’t wanna get you in trouble,” you murmur into his shirt. “O-or we can spend a night apart. I know we haven’t done that inna while but just till this blows over an’ we know she didn’t say nothin’ to your father.” 

You know you're rambling, but all you want is to make Gators life comfortable and safe. You know there is a small chance that Karen will call Roy, tell him what happened, maybe even lie (she’s done that before) and say you upset her. If that happens, Gator will get it good, possibly another broken arm or dislocated jaw. That’s the last thing you want. You can feel you chest ache, eyes burning at the idea of Roy hurtin’ him. 

Gator pulls your face back from his chest, making you look up at him, “don’t you be worryin’ bout me now. Roy ain’t gonna do shit and I don’t sleep when you aren’t curled up next to me,” he kisses your forehead. “I’ll put some feelers out to see if that little bitch called him. Gotta meeting at 3 with him.” 

You nod, your hand coming up to fix his jacket. In reality, you just need something to distract from the burning behind your eyes. 

“Hey? I’m serious. I’ll be fine, okay?” He lets you go to reach into his pocket, pulling out some cash and handing it to you, “why don’t you go get your nails done or something, yeah?” 

You know refusing to take the money wont go well, so you take it, putting it in the pocket of your jacket. “Thank you, daddy,” you whisper out, knowing you aren’t really supposed to say that outside of Gators locked bedroom door. 

He lets it slide, the day has been stressful enough for you. “That’s my good bunny. Now, run along and I’ll meet you here at six okay?” 

You tilt your head, “no station tonight?” 

“Nah… Jerry is working and he’s got a starin’ problem when it comes to ya. Don’t feel like scoopin’ eyeballs out. Too messy.” 

You shudder but kiss him goodbye before getting in your car. You have a very bad feeling his 3pm meeting isn’t going to go how he expects. 

… 

You were right. 

You knew you were right the second you pulled up to his house at six on the dot and he wasn’t home. You reach for your phone, looking to see if maybe you’d missed a text, phone call, shit even an email from your boyfriend. 

Nothing. 

Even when you try to call him, you're met with a voicemail. You can feel the bile rise in the back of your throat, fear making your skin itch. Was this it? Was this the time Roy sends him out there to do his dirty work and he doesn’t make it home? 

He could be anywhere right now. Not only that, if he was dead, no one would do shit for him. No funeral, no service, nothing. His dad would go on and wipe his hands clean of his “loser” son, probably more than happy that the ties of his first wife are gone for good. 

Oh God, what if he was dying, the cold freezing the blood onto his skin, frostbite settling in. He could be so scared, praying to the God he doesn’t believe in that you come find him. His clothes are probably wet too, sticking to him thanks to the sn-

A knock on your window makes you jump, a yelp falling from your lips. You look over, seeing the blue of his jacket in your peripheral and the sight makes you gasp. You’re quick to shut off the car, jumping out and getting a closer look at him. 

He looks… awful. His right eye is nearly swollen shut, dry blood sticking to his split brow. There is a bruise on the other side of his face and under his left eyes, clearly he got hit in the nose. 

“Baby…” this time you can't stop the tears from falling. “Baby what happened?” 

He lets out a long, deep sigh, his hands resting on your cheeks. “Fuckin’ cunt called dad. Said I needed a lesson in respect. S’how I got the bruise on my left eye.” He wipes the tear that falls from your eye, his touch soft and kind, “sent me to do some shit across state lines. Guy beat the fuck outta me. He ain’t alive no more though.” 

You sniffle, “is it just your face?” 

He shakes his head but doesn’t say more. He knows you’ll see the rest once he gets you inside. Well … “we-I can’t let you sleep here tonight, Gator.” 

He shakes his head, “it’s fine. Dad said so himself. Come on.” 

And so he drags you inside, Karen looking like the cat that caught the canary as she watches you help Gator walk. You make a mental note to never forget this, never forget how she treats her step-son.

You push open Gators bedroom door, making sure to shut it silently and lock it before settling Gator on the bed. “Let’s get ya into some comfy clothes, yeah?” 

You crouch down in front of him, making quick work of untying his boots. 

“Baby, I can do this. I’m the one who's supposed to help you.” 

That only makes more tears burn your eyes. You hated that he never let anyone help him, hated that he always had to be strong, couldn’t ever cry, nothing. You hated Roy for making him like this and you hated his mother for leaving and not saving her only son from a life of pain. 

“Stop. Just-just let me help you, Gator please.”  You pull at the laces to loosen them and make it easier to slide off his boot, your vision blurry from the tears in your eyes. 

His boot comes off easy and you make sure you keep your hold on it so it doesn’t make any noise on the floor. Same with the second one. 

You stand, unclipping his thigh holster and setting it on the nightstand where he likes it. Incase of emergencies. Next is his belt, coming off with ease. He stops you when you get to his pants, making you look up at him. He hates the silver shining along your waterline. 

“I love you, little bunny.” He says it so quietly that you almost miss it. 

“I love you too.” Your voice cracks as you say. 

You work on his pants, popping open the buttons with ease. Next you pull his shirt out of his pants and pull it over his head. By the time his shirt hits the floor, you’ve gotten a full look at his bare torso. A bruise is forming along his ribs, it’s really red and slightly turning purple. 

“Jeez baby,” your hands gently touch his skin and he hisses a little. “S-sorry.” 

He says nothing as he helps you pull off his pants, leaving him in just his boxers. 

“Stay here,” you tell him as you collect his dirty clothes and go into his attached bathroom. You sigh as you grab a face cloth, turning the water on so it heats up. It, of course, takes forever for the water to warm. Nothing like shit water heating thanks to the frigid winter. But once it does you wet the cloth and grab the first aid kit and go back to him. 

You’ve done this before, cleaned him up, you’ve even stitched him up. You’d like to thank the internet for telling you how to do that and you’ve gotten good over the last two years. 

“S’is gonna hurt. Luckily it looks like you don’t need stitches. Just don’t move while I work okay?” 

He nods, “yes, baby. Ya don’t have to do this. I know you don’t like blood.” This was true, you didn’t like blood at all, barely even being able to handle papercuts. But for some reason, when it comes to him, you can manage to push it aside. Cuts can get infected and when they’re on his face it means it could go to the brain faster. 

You carefully dab the wet rag around his split eyebrow, gently clearing off the blood and making sure that you don’t resplit the cut open. “I think it split from the swellin’ but I don’t think it needs stitches.” 

He nods slightly, “good. I was hoping it’d close on its own.” 

You put some wound cleaner on it before you bandage it. He might have a scar there unless he leaves it alone. But knowing Gator, it’ll open again. You clean up around his face and causing a hiss to leave his lips once you touch his cheek and eye. You apologize, applying some cream that makes bruises heal faster to his face and ribs. 

“That’s everything.” You force a small smile at him, tossing the wet cloth into the hamper and putting the first aid kit away. You get undressed, needing skin to skin contact. Then, you climb into bed, snuggling up to him, resting your head on the safe side of his chest. 

The silence stretches, Gators arm around your shoulders, his thumb moving softly. 

“I thought you were dead in the snow,” the words tumble out of you before you can stop them. 

He thumb stills for a heartbeat before resuming, “but m’not.” 

“I’m sorry this is the life you were forced into. It is not fair.” 

He kisses your head, breathing you in for a moment, “it’s not your fault, bunny. You didn’t do any of this. Shoulda kept my mouth shut when it came to Karen. Just… smile an’ wave.” 

You shake your head, kissing his chest, “not how it’s supposed to be.”

Gator rolls over you, forcing you on your back. He bites back a pained groan. “My sweet bunny, listen to me. I am here. I am safe. S’gonna take a lot more to kill me.” He leans down, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. 

You let your hands slide into his hair, deepening the kiss. Honestly, you just need to feel him. He knows it and if he’s being honest, he needs to feel you too. He’ll never say it out loud, but as he laid in the snow, doing his best to get the fucker he was sent to kill off of him, he was scared. 

Scared he would die and you’d spend the rest of you life wondering. He knew no one would fill you in and he knew his daddy wouldn’t have a service for him. You’d be alone, wondering what happened to him, praying to the god you don’t believe in that he’d come home again. So, he fought like hell and now, he really needs you. Needs to be inside you. 

You pull back, breaking the kiss, “Gator, we can’t.” 

“We can. Please baby.” Gator doesn’t beg, he didn’t need to when it came to you. Always more than willing to do what he says and give him what he wants. His begging makes you give in. 

His hands push your underwear aside, feeling how ready you already are for him. Always ready, always wanting and only for him. 

You pull him in for a kiss while his fingers find your clit with ease, swallowing your moans. He always knows exactly how you like it, fingers moving in swift circles and just the right amount of pressure. 

“So fucking pretty when you’re at my mercy,” he pushes two fingers inside you, the stretch making your brain go fuzzy. “Looked so fucking pretty in your little skirt and frilly socks. My little angel.” 

The way Gator is cooing at you, his fingers crooked up to touch the one spot that drives you nuts and you can feel yourself slipping into that headspace you both love. You’re trying so hard to be logical, knowing he’s hurt and can hurt himself further. 

“Thank you, daddy. Bought it because I thought you’d like it.” Your voice is getting small, breathy. 

He grins, kissing down your neck, “I love it. Love everything you wear. Look so pretty in your pastels.” His thumb finds your clit, a soft moan falling from your lips. It’s embarrasing how quickly you are to coming around his fingers. 

“P-please. Gator please.” 

He smirks, “use your words, sweet girl. Tell me what you want.” 

You can feel your body heat up from both the coil inside you winding tighter and the embarrassment of having to say what you want. “I-I need to cum. So bad.” 

The second the words are in the air, Gator pulls his hands away, leaving your orgasm to fade away. “NO! No, no, no, no please!” 

He sucks a mark into your neck, his tongue licking over the spot to sooth it.

“Need ya to cum on my cock, baby.” 

Before your brain can catch up, he’s sliding inside you. The stretch is something you haven't gotten used to in the last two years. It feels like he's splitting you in half, his cock filling you completely. 

“OH! Oh my god.” You're already panting, squeezing him so hard he’s fighting to not bust prematurely. 

Gator drops to his forearms and pumps his hips, getting right in your face. He’s so close you can smell the fruity scent from the vape he was no doubt huffing on before coming to see you. 

“S’right baby, I am your God and I love when ya pray to me.” 

You can’t help the way your cunt clenches, a moan falling from your lips that is just slightly too loud for either of your comforts. At the moment, you don’t care. You know Roy already got his fill of kicking Gatos' ass. He’s not going to worry about it tonight. 

“Daddy, please. I’m so close.” 

His hips are snapping hard, cock hitting your cervix with every thrust. He feels like he’s inside your throat and you can’t tell if his grunts are from pain, pleasure, or both. 

“Not yet. Almost there. D-don’t cum yet.” 

Your nails sink into his biceps, hips starting to stutter. 

“Please! Fuck! Oh god…” 

He smirks, eyes meeting yours, “yeah? I know how bad ya need it. How bad ya need me to fill this pretty, little cunt up. Breed an own ya f’ever? Hm?” His eyes are black and he looks absolutely feral. Primal.  

His hand snakes down the front of your body, finding your clit with ease. You gasp, thighs starting to shake. You knew you weren’t going to last but you needed his permission. You craved his praise and being in his good graces. You’d let him do anything to you, that’s how much you trust him. 

“Yes! Yes! Whatever you want. Anything.” You don’t even know what you’re saying at this point, too cock drunk to think of anything besides him and what he’s doing to you. 

He laughs, seeing your eyes glazed over and tears of pleasure lining your eyes, “cum for me bunny. Do it.” 

It’s all you need to fall into bliss. 

His hand covers your mouth knowing how loud you’re about to be. His face drops into your neck as he cums with you, both of your moans muffled by each other's bodies. His cum fills you, leaking out as he brings you both down. 

His hand slowly leaves your mouth, head lifting to look at you. 

“I love you. I fuckin’ love you so fuckin’ much.” He leaves little kisses all over your face, trying to bring you back to him. “You hear me? M’never leavin’ you.” 

You take a shuddering inhale, trying to form a coherent thought, “P-promise?” 

You hold your pinky up to him, hands shaking while adrenalin continues to run through your veins. He giggles, hooking his pinky with yours, “promise. I’ll always come home to you. I will always fall asleep next to you.” 

He looks down, flipping your hand over and checking out your nails, “I can’t wait for these pretty, red claws to be wrapped around my cock.” 

Your chest lightens as you both laugh together.

[coraliix]

North Wind | Lloyd x OC

Chapter 7: Collision pt.1

13.2k words (split in two posts)

Summary: Mari and Lloyd spend the day together. Tension snaps and confrontation occurs.

A/N: Jeez louise y'all. I did not expect this chapter to take so long nor the sheer size of it, but here we are.

Fun fact: chapters of this length cannot physically fit on a post (at least how I'm posting), hence why it's split in two.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

——————————

“Checking your phone every five seconds won’t make them get here faster, Mari.”

I looked up from my screen, where I had indeed been checking for any new messages from Lloyd. “I know that,” I scoffed at Skylor’s words. “I’m just making sure they get here alright.”

Skylor’s lips curled up in an amused grin as she continued closing the restaurant and got ready to head out. “They’ve come here a lot, you know. They’ll be okay.”

“I know that too,” I replied, an exasperated but affectionate smile gracing my features. Taking a seat at a table, I waited for Lloyd and his friends to arrive, leg bouncing rapidly.

She took note of that; I could tell. “You seem nervous to meet with them,” Skylor remarked, amusement filling her voice. “Or are these nerves directed more to a specific person?” she asked. Her eyebrows waggled suggestively, and I snorted at the sight — and at what she was implying.

“Definitely not in the way you're insinuating,” I quipped, feeling a slightly embarrassed flush rise on my face.

That did not help with deterring Skylor from thinking what she currently was, but that was fine. I didn’t care too much about explaining.

Truthfully, there was some merit to her idea, but it was simply that I found Lloyd attractive. I wasn’t necessarily attracted to him. Underneath the affection I held for Lloyd was a sense of understanding for his situation. It felt more like I related to him and empathized with him than held particularly romantic feelings.

(At least, that was what I told myself. To be completely honest, there was some attraction, but definitely not enough for me to act on and risk jeopardizing our friendship.)

There would be time later to reflect on those feelings. Probably.

Silence filled the restaurant’s calm atmosphere as I dwelled on these thoughts. Skylor didn't say anything to break it, and I thought back to a few days ago, when she had started asking me about the ninja. Her words about being honest and opening up echoed in my head.

“Oh, here they come,” Skylor said after a minute. We walked to the doors, stepping out and locking them behind us. “Hey guys,” she greeted, tucking her keys into the pocket of her coat.

They greeted the rest of us as well. Lloyd, sporting a ball cap under his green hood and a face mask, sidled up next to me and leant in to whisper, “Hi.”

My eyes dropped to his incognito attire, sadness flickering in them as I realized what their purpose was. “Hey,” I whispered back, unsure why we were being quiet but following his lead. Tracking Lloyd’s eyes back to Kai and Skylor, I soon understood why.

“Hello, handsome,” she said as she stepped closer to Kai and laced their hands together.

“Hey, beautiful,” he replied, eyes softening in a strange sight. Strange to me, at least. I’d only been around Kai once — certainly not enough for me to judge his character — but this soft side of him was starkly different from the sharp, defensive side of him I’d seen weeks ago that it gave me whiplash.

Everyone else rolled their eyes at the sweet exchange, but it was all in good humor.

“Ready to go?” Kai asked her, shivering slightly when a chilly gust of air swept through the streets.

“Mhm,” was Skylor’s answer. She turned to me, fixing me with a look that communicated the instructions she’d given me before we left. Behave. Be back home by midnight. Have someone drop you off. “Have fun,” was what she said out loud.

I gave her a smile and a nod in reply.

Satisfied, she hooked her arm through Kai’s, starting to turn away. “Have fun, you guys,” she repeated to everyone else. With that, Skylor and Kai headed off to who knows where for their date.

Everyone else turned away to quickly discuss the plan, but my eyes remained on the couple’s backs as they walked away.

Learning that Skylor had been dating Kai could have easily been one of my top ten most shocking moments — I’d almost thought she was joking when she’d casually mentioned it to me. But seeing their interactions made me realize that they really did fit well together.

“Everybody ready to go?” Jay rubbed his hands in excitement, clearly eager to head to the arcade the group had picked as the activity today.

Beside Jay, Cole shuffled closer to nudge him with an elbow. He gave Jay a pointed look.

“Oh!” Jay exclaimed, eyes widening in realization. He turned to me. “I forgot— I never really introduced myself. I’m Jay,” he said, offering me a wide smile.

I chuckled softly. “I figured. Nice to meet you, Jay,” I replied, returning his smile. “I guess I don’t have to introduce myself.” I sent Lloyd a grin, and he looked away with a bashful smile, scratching the back of his neck.

Jay laughed, glancing over at Lloyd with a smile full of mirth. “Nope. Lloyd’s definitely been talking about you enough to— Hey, ow!” His teasing was cut off by another elbow to his side; the offense came from Nya this time.

The action had me sending her a surprised look, eyebrows raising. No qualms about teasing Lloyd herself but stopping Jay from doing so?

Nya glanced at me, meeting my curious stare and seeming to read my thoughts. “It’s different when I do it,” she explained to me, to the confusion of everyone else.

A snort escaped me at the words, but I nodded. Part of the sibling experience — teasing them relentlessly but stepping in when others did it too.

It reminded me of Hideo and how sometimes I’d tease him about him having crushes or other unimportant things. The corners of my lips pulled down in a small frown.

Somehow Lloyd noticed this, and he lightly bumped his shoulder against mine. “You okay?” he asked in a hushed tone, brow knit with concern — though it was barely visible from under his cap. “Is being around all of us too overwhelming? I know you said you weren’t used to large groups. Do you want to go somewhere else?”

I glanced up at Lloyd. His concern warmed me. A small smile made its way onto my lips, and I shook my head. “No, it’s not that,” I reassured him. “Just remembering someone.”

He frowned at my vague answer, confusion seeping into his eyes. “Alright.”

“Are you guys ready to go?” Nya called over to us, linking her hand with Jay’s and stepping closer to him.

I blinked at the sight. “Uh, yeah,” I said. “I’m ready.” They nodded and led the way down the sidewalk to the arcade nearby. Turning back to Lloyd, who now walked beside me, I leaned in closer, lowering my voice. “Are Nya and Jay dating?”

Lloyd glanced at me when I leaned in closer, and he chuckled at my question before nodding. “Yep. For around two and a half years now,” he told me, matching my low volume.

“Aw, that’s nice. They look good together.” I glanced at them as they walked ahead of us, smiling at their joined hands. Lloyd nodded in agreement.

“So, have you been to this arcade before?” he asked after a minute of silence — between us, that is. The rest of the group chattered about anything and everything, though I hadn’t really been paying attention.

I shook my head. “Haven’t really explored the city at all, to be honest,” I admitted.

Lloyd gave a small gasp in faux indignation. “We can’t have that,” he said, putting on an affronted expression and placing a hand on his heart. “This must be remedied.”

I snorted at the posh tone he put on. “And how do you propose I do that?”

He shrugged casually. “By hanging out with me.”

His answer made me blink. My lips curved into a wide, amused smile. “Oh, really? You know all the good spots in Ninjago City?”

“The best spots,” he nodded solemnly.

Laughter bubbled from my lips at the sudden serious expression he put on. “Alright, I think I can clear my schedule for that,” I said. He smiled, looking at me through the corner of his eye.

——————————

Crossing the street, I saw the arcade just ahead of us. We entered the building and the dim lighting immediately washed us in electric blues and greens. There were a variety of games to play: driving simulators, shooting games, air hockey, wheels of fortune — you name it.

“Meet back up in an hour?” Zane suggested.

Everyone agreed, and soon we all went our separate ways. Lloyd stayed with me, which I was grateful for. We made our way to the counter to pay for card passes before strolling around the edge of the arcade, exploring the options.

“Any preference?” Lloyd asked beside me once we each got our own passes.

I surveyed the games available, spotting a flashy electronic dart board on one of the back walls. “I think I’ll take a crack at these,” I mused with a grin, striding over to confidently pick up a couple darts, weighing them in my hands.

“Darts.” Lloyd raised an eyebrow in question.

My grin turned roguish as my fingers felt around the small projectiles. Of course, they weren’t actually sharp — this was an arcade, after all, and there were kids around — but they felt hefty enough to be properly thrown.

“Just an old hobby of mine,” I replied. Another vague answer.

Maybe Lloyd would think I was weird by being so cryptic, but I couldn’t tell him the real reason why I wanted to start my game off strong by choosing darts. Maybe it was unfair to be playing a game I had an advantage in from illegal practices. Maybe.

Positioning myself just shy of the line, I steadied my stance and lifted my hand. The dart flew from my fingers as I whipped my arm down in a fluid arc.

It found its target. “Bullseye,” I declared with a grin, grabbing another dart. Sure enough, my next two throws were solid as well, soaring through the air and hitting the board with a thunk. A strip of tickets came out of the machine. I leaned down to pluck them out, proudly waving my reward to Lloyd.

His green eyes lit with amusement and slight surprise. “Impressive,” he remarked. “But you’re gonna have to do more than throw a few darts to beat me.”

I laughed. “I wasn’t aware this was a competition. But don’t worry about me,” I assured. “I’ve got more than one trick up my sleeve.”

“Hm,” Lloyd hummed, not looking worried.

We walked over to a racing game and swiped our passes over the machine, sliding into the seats.

“Interesting choice,” I commented casually.

Lloyd shrugged. “I like driving. Speaking of,” he said as the game started up. “I heard from Nya that you’ve driven a motorcycle before. What’s that about?”

“I could ask you the same,” I pointed out, setting my hands on the wheel and starting to steer my simulated racer down the track while I pressed a foot down on the pedal.

He laughed, shaking his head. “That’s fair. I learned when I was around 16, I think,” he told me, glimpsing at me through the side of his eye before returning his gaze back to the screen. “It was easier to get a motorcycle than a car.”

I gave him a perplexed look at that. Although that was the same as in my case, it was still unusual to hear about someone getting a motorcycle before a car. “I learned when I was 15,” I replied. “But I didn’t really start driving out in public until I was 16, too. License and all that,” I explained, turning the wheel sharply to the left.

Lloyd hummed in acknowledgement, making the turn with ease. “I guess we both grew up a bit different than most,” he said. “Teenagers don’t typically— dude, what!” he suddenly interjected. “How did you get ahead of me?”

A laugh burst from my lips and I peeked at him through the corner of my eye. “Guess you’re not— wait, how—” I cut myself off, gaping at the game.

The screens displayed a checkerboard finish line, reading ‘Winner! Player 1.’ On my screen, I was shown as placing second. Lloyd had somehow pulled ahead of me at the last second.

“What was that you were about to say?” Lloyd asked coyly, eyes gleaming with victory. If his mask wasn’t on, I would definitely see the smug grin he wore.

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Good game,” I said with a huff.

He chuckled to himself, grabbing the tickets that appeared on his side of the ticket machine. One lone ticket came out of the machine on my side.

“Wow,” I laughed, head tilting back as giggles slipped from my lips. “One ticket! That is actually so hilarious.” I couldn’t stop laughing at the sight, the singular ticket compared to the 20 Lloyd received filling me with such bizarre amusement.

“A pity ticket,” Lloyd agreed solemnly with a nod. “What a shame.”

His serious expression did not help my laughter calm down. My stomach hurt from how hard I was laughing — it was strange. It wasn’t even that funny, yet I felt myself loosening up and relaxing.

Lloyd joined in my laughter after a second, eyes sparkling entertainingly. “Come on, second place,” he said after another minute, earning another chuckle from me, and rose from his seat. “Your pick this time.”

The laughter died down on my lips as I stood up. Deciding to just leave the ticket, I joined Lloyd at his side, scanning over other games we could play.

After another three rounds of me choosing a game followed by one of Lloyd’s picks — somehow, we were almost neck and neck with our amount of tickets, but Lloyd had slightly more — we spotted Cole and Zane at a boxing game and decided to join them.

“I hardly count this as fair,” Zane was saying to Cole as we got closer.

Cole shook his head, grabbing his tickets from the machine. “No way, man. I’m not even using my full strength right now. This thing would break if I did,” he teased, patting Zane — who didn't look pleased but conceded — on the back.

He looked like he was about to say more, but stopped when he saw us approaching. “Hey guys,” he said instead, smiling. “Having fun? Not beating Lloyd too hard at the games, are you?” he joked, aiming that last part at me.

“Ha-ha,” Lloyd deadpanned. “I’m actually in the lead with tickets right now.”

“Right now,” I repeated, sending him a side-eye glance. “We’re having fun, though.” Lloyd met my eye then, and smiled.

Cole nodded. “I’m totally beating Zane, too.”

“By a slim margin,” Zane corrected, raising his eyebrow. “And only because you’ve picked games that play into your skillset.”

Cole’s head tilted. “Isn’t that the whole point of this?”

A soft laugh left me at the exchange. “He’s not wrong. I’m doing the same,” I agreed with Cole. “Yet somehow, Lloyd is still beating me,” I huffed in faux annoyance.

“I’m just using the same strategy,” Lloyd shrugged, amusement playing on his features.

A round of laughs went around the group.

Taking a look at the clock on the wall, Cole nodded to the boxing game. “You guys gonna take a shot? Our passes are almost up, so you better hurry,” he said, stepping aside to make room if either of us wanted to play.

Lloyd glanced at me. I tapped a finger on my chin in thought. “I’ll have a go,” I replied, handing Lloyd the loops of tickets I’d amassed.

Scanning the pass on the machine, I waited for it to light up before taking a stance. A part of me was hesitant to take a punch. I didn't want to reveal my strength and raise any questions, but…

Oh, screw it. If I was being honest, I wanted to show off. Years of intense conditioning and training hadn’t made me weak, and if playing meant I’d beat that smug boy wearing green, I’d do it.

My fist cracked into the small speed bag. The screen displayed a number, which increased as I threw a few more blows onto the punching bag. The score racked up until the timer ran out, and I stepped back.

Although I didn't beat the previous high score — I imagined that one was Cole’s; it was too high for a buff guy like him to not have gotten it — I was pleased with my score. My lips curved into a small, proud smile.

“Not bad, kid,” Cole appraised the score. “You work out?”

“Something like that,” I answered, reaching over to get the tickets I earned. Another vague answer. I had to stop doing that.

Lloyd chuckled. “Full of surprises, aren't you?” he teased, crossing his arms. I sent him a playful wink.

“Are you gonna try, Lloyd?” I asked him as he handed over the rest of my tickets. “Because if we stop now, I’ll have beat you.” My lips spread in a smirk at the challenge, daring him to try.

He scoffed, crossing his arms again. “I don't want to show you up,” Lloyd taunted.

“Oh, really? You think you’ll do better than me? How about we make a bet?” I suggested. “If you get a higher score than me, I’ll give you half my tickets. But I bet you can’t,” I challenged, tucking my tickets into the crook of my arm as I crossed my arms.

Lloyd laughed. “You don't want to make that bet,” he promised. “Back me up here, guys.” He turned to Zane and Cole for backup.

“I don't know if you have what it takes, Lloyd,” Zane murmured, giving him a skeptical look. Cole snickered beside him.

“What? C’mon, guys,” Lloyd huffed.

My lips parted in a wide smile. “See? Not even they think you can beat me,” I teased. Zane and Cole chuckled, shaking their heads. “I’m just too strong.” I placed a hand atop my heart playfully.

Lloyd scoffed. “Watch this,” he announced, handing me his tickets and stepping up to the boxing game. The screen lit up as soon as he swiped his card over the scanner. Placing his foot slightly behind the other in a boxing stance, he swung a fist toward the bag.

The smirk dropped from my face, lips parting in surprise.

His fists pounded onto the speed bag. A right hook, left, uppercut — his hands moved almost too fast to perceive.

“Uh oh,” I laughed weakly as the scores on each of his hits added up for a total score surpassing mine.

The timer finished with a beep, and Lloyd stepped back from the machine, glimpsing at his score before his mouth curled into a smirk. He glanced at me, smirk growing when he saw the blatant shock on my face. I snapped my mouth shut.

“Looks like I owe you half of my tickets,” I managed to say after a second.

He laughed, eyes sparkling mischievously. “Keep them. Seeing that look on your face was all the reward I could want,” he teased, gently peeling his tickets away from my frozen hands. “I’ll see you at the ticket counter,” he said with a wink, walking away smugly.

Zane and Cole chuckled as he walked away, and I shot them an affronted glare. “You knew, didn’t you?” I accused them.

“I didn’t know he’d try that hard,” Cole defended with a laugh, lifting his hands in a placating gesture.

Zane nodded. “I didn’t anticipate it, either. I thought he’d go easy on you and let you win the bet,” he agreed.

My brows furrowed. “What? Why?”

The two shared a look.

“No reason,” Cole replied.

I squinted at them. I knew he was lying and that they knew something, but decided to drop it. It probably wasn’t too important.

“Alright,” I said, making sure I sent them a look that communicated they weren’t fooling me. A glance at the clock on the wall revealed that we had about a minute left of our passes. “We should probably group back up with the others,” I suggested, already starting to trail after Lloyd.

They followed behind me as I weaved through people, until I spotted Nya and Jay standing at the prize counter. I stepped up to them, feeling like I had forgotten something. Hm.

“Hey guys,” I greeted them. “Did you two have fun?”

Nya turned around to face me, a relaxed smile on her face. “Yeah! This was pretty chill. I’m glad you came with us, Mari.”

My lips curved into a smile. “Thanks, Nya. Me too. Cashing in on your prizes?” I asked curiously, glancing to where Jay was surveying the reward options.

She nodded, looking back at Jay to see him pick out a few pieces of candy and what looked to be a stuffed pickle. “For you, my favorite sea pickle,” he offered it to her, holding it up like it was the most precious thing in the world. It very well could’ve been, judging by the reverent expression on his face.

Nya burst into laughter, using a hand to cover her smile. “Aw, thank you, Jay,” she said, accepting it and giving it a hug.

My smile softened, heart throbbing at the two of them. They were so cute.

At that moment, someone stepped up beside me. Lloyd stood to my right, watching them with a fond smile. “They’re cute together, right?”

“The cutest. I think I’m going to faint over how cute they are.” I placed a hand over my forehead, pretending to look faint as I leaned onto Lloyd’s side.

Lloyd chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’ll catch you,” he promised me, hand gently circling my upper arm.

My heart skipped a beat at his touch, and I sank further into him. “I’m not worried,” I teased with a light smile, dropping my head back onto his shoulder.

He seemed to freeze at that, and I worried I’d made him uncomfortable. But then he cleared his throat. “That’s good,” he said, glancing away.

Was I imagining it or did his face redden a bit? It was hard to tell with his mask still on.

Zane and Cole joined us shortly after. They stared at how I leaned on Lloyd, and I straightened, pulling myself away.

Nya turned away from us to watch them approach. She glanced at the small pieces of paper in their hands — receipts, I realized. Then she looked to my hands, where I was still holding rows of tickets. “Did you forget to count your tickets?” she asked, a small smile on her face.

I blinked. “Oh.” That was what I was forgetting. “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll come with you,” Nya said, and trailed after me.

Striding over to where the ticket counter machine was, I started inserting the various strips of bright orange tickets. Nya stood beside me.

“So,” she started, “that was something.”

I didn’t look up at her, instead keeping my focus on entering the tickets into the machine. “What was?” I asked innocently. Maybe if I pretended I didn’t know what she was talking about, she wouldn’t bring it up again.

Nya hummed skeptically. “That little display. You know, when you practically fell into Lloyd’s arms?” she said.

Inserting the last of my tickets, I let out a snort. “I didn’t fall into his arms. It was nothing. Just… lighthearted banter.”

She hummed again.

“Seriously, Nya. It was nothing,” I repeated.

“It didn’t look like nothing to someone,” she countered slyly, examining her fingernails.

I stared at her. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” she parroted my words, giving me a cheshire grin. “Just that a certain someone seemed to be a little flustered and flushed after a certain other someone leaned on them. But maybe that could be because the first certain someone was actually feeling warm. All those layers…”

She was starting to confuse me. “Okay, Nya,” I huffed out a laugh, shaking my head. We walked back to the counter, where Lloyd was conversing with the others. It looked very hush hush.

Jay spotted us approaching and jolted upright, arms flailing as he struggled to look nonchalant. “Oh, Nya, Mari. You’re back,” he said. “We were… doing nothing… important.”

I glanced at Lloyd, silently asking what was going on. He shrugged, looking away as if to say ‘nothing.’ My eyes narrowed in confusion. “Yep,” I told Jay. “We’re back.” Striding to stand next to Lloyd again, I turned to him. “What did your total ticket count end up being?” I asked him.

He coughed, glancing at the slip of paper. “455,” was his strained answer.

I tilted my head to the side, frowning with concern. “Are you okay? You sound a little… choked up.”

Lloyd cleared his throat again, scratching at the skin below his eye. “Yeah, no, I’m fine,” he assured me, but his reply was still a little forced.

Why was everyone being weird now?

“Right. I only got 421,” I told him, rereading the ticket receipt with a wince. “I don’t understand how you’re so good at these games.”

He seemed to relax at that. “Practice,” he revealed. “Lots and lots of practice.”

I chuckled. “Did you play lots of arcade games when you were younger?” I asked, staring up at him.

“Yep. It was the way I spent most of my time,” he explained.

“Then I never stood a chance,” I said, putting on an exaggerated expression of defeat. Lloyd laughed and apologized, but I smiled at him, shaking my head. “Today was fun, though.”

“For sure,” Lloyd agreed, looking down at me with a soft smile. “I’m glad you came.”

I returned his smile. “Me too.”

“Are you going to pick out any prizes?”

I brought my attention back to the various items held on display. A silver pegasus plush toy caught my eye, and I was tempted to get it, but held back. I noticed a bright green dragon plush next to it, and decided to get it for Lloyd.

“Could I get the stuffed green dragon?” I asked the person standing behind the counter. She nodded and handed me the plush after I gave her my receipt. I extended it to Lloyd. “For you. My favorite green dragon,” I said, giving him a wink as I mimicked Jay’s words from earlier.

Lloyd’s gaze dropped down to the stuffed toy in my hands before he accepted it with a soft laugh. “Thank you,” he smiled warmly.

Sometime when I had been choosing my prize, he had taken his face mask off, so now I could clearly see the warmth in his eyes and smile — as well as the barely-there dusting of pink on his cheeks. The sight made my knees weak.

“You’re welcome,” I replied, a similar smile gracing my lips.

“You guys are still here?” Jay asked suddenly.

I whipped around to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“Dude, we already left. I came back when we realized you hadn’t followed us outside.”

Pressing my lips together, I simply said, “Oh.”

“We’ll be out soon,” Lloyd told Jay, shifting the plush dragon in his arms. “I just… need to go to the bathroom.”

Jay gave him a look, but nodded. “You couldn't have gone earlier?” he mumbled under his breath as he left the arcade.

Lloyd turned back to me. “You can join the others. I’ll be right out,” he said.

“Okay.” I nodded, and made my way through the doors. It was starting to dim outside, sunlight gradually fading. The rest of the group stood a few feet outside of the arcade entrance, and I hurried to join them. “Hey,” I greeted them again.

“Sorry about that,” Cole apologized as I approached. “We didn’t realize you two were still inside.”

I waved his apology off with a hand. “It’s okay. We didn’t realize you left.”

“Where is Lloyd?” Zane questioned.

“He’s in the bathroom,” I replied, tucking my hands into my pockets. Zane nodded in acknowledgement. “Are we going anywhere after this?” I asked, making idle conversation. While talking about this hangout with Lloyd, I’d failed to ask if we were going to eat after or not.

“Probably just somewhere to eat,” Nya answered. “We were thinking some street food. Does that sound okay, Mari?”

I blinked, but nodded at her question. “Yeah, that sounds great!”

Nya smiled.

After another few moments, Lloyd came barreling out of the arcade, holding a plastic bag as he came to stand with us. “Sorry ‘bout that,” he apologized quickly, stuffing a hand in his pocket.

A chorus of accepted apologies sounded from the group.

“Are you coming to eat with us?” Lloyd turned to you, eyes lighting up in a hopeful expression.

“Yup,” I said, giving him a smile.

“Cool.” He nodded, returning my grin.

Everyone else started to lead the way to the street vendors we’d most likely head to, while me and Lloyd walked in the back.

“What’s in the bag?” I asked while the group was busy talking about something. I had a certain feeling Lloyd hadn’t brought it up while everyone was still looking at him because he didn’t want to bring everyone’s attention to it.

He glanced at me, before shuffling slightly closer, never once missing a step as we kept walking. He opened the bag to reveal the green plush I got him, as well as the silver winged horse I saw earlier. “I saw you were eying that silver pegasus earlier, so I wanted to get it for you. Y’know, since you got me that dragon toy. I didn't know whether to give it to you now or later,” he admitted, scratching at his cheek.

Warmth billowed into my face as I took in the bag that held the stuffed pegasus he got me — as well as how close he was standing. “Thank you, Lloyd.” I sent him a bright smile. “If you want, you can give it to me later, before I go back home.”

“Alright,” Lloyd said with a nod. He hooked the handles of the bag over his elbow and kept walking.

He didn't move away.

I hid my blush by keeping my eyes on the backs of the group.

Eventually, we arrived at a little plaza that held various street vendors selling all kinds of food. Some sold hot dogs, others had noodles, or sliders, falafel, tacos, etc — I surveyed the options and took my pick.

Once everyone else had their food, we found a little park bench tucked to the side of the plaza and sat down.

Lloyd sat to my right, his back facing the entrance of the square, while Nya was on my left. Jay sat across from her, with Cole next to him, and Zane was across from Lloyd.

No one really said anything, which was expected. We all focused on eating our own food.

It was a quiet moment, with everyone basking in the sun’s dimming rays, even as the fall weather beckoned a crisp wind to swirl around us. It was quiet, until it wasn’t.

“Is that Lloyd Garmadon? Look, it’s the Garmadork squad!” someone suddenly called behind us, to which others around them laughed. Everyone at the table stiffened. “Hey, who’s that with them?”

I was about to turn around to face them, but Lloyd stopped me by placing a hand on my back.

“Don’t,” he warned, glaring at them through the corner of his eye. “They’re from our school. If they recognize you, they’ll post about it online.”

“I don’t care about that,” I retorted.

“You will.” His voice was firm. He didn’t pull his hand away from my back. “Trust me.”

The corners of my lips pulled down into a frown, but when I looked to the rest of his friends to see what they thought about it, my heart dropped. Matching expressions of frustration and resignation weighing down their features.

“Seriously?” I stared. “You just take it?”

“There isn’t anything else we can do,” Jay mumbled. “At least anything that won’t prove the city right about Lloyd.”

Nya nodded, her eyes shifting in that same storminess from the first day of school, when she’d talked about how Lloyd was treated. “If we fight back or call them out, we prove everyone right. We prove that Lloyd is someone to be feared and cast out,” she said, anger making her look downright scary.

Silence followed from the rest of the group, but no such kindness was given from the other group of kids. They jeered at us, but didn’t come any closer. Lloyd’s hand tightened on my back at their insults.

The harassers saw this, and took no small amount of delight in calling it out. “Shit, that freak’s got a girlfriend,” one of them said to the others. “What kind of idiot would fall for him?”

Lloyd recoiled from me, pulling his hand away to stuff it in his pocket. Not much of his face was visible behind the golden strands of his hair, but I could still see the anger and shame burning in him at their words.

A similar pinprick of fury lit in me then, when I noticed the way Lloyd tensed beside me as they continued spewing their hurtful words.

“Look at him,” another person sneered. “He’s so ashamed. You should be! Tyrants don’t deserve to be happy!” they directed at him.

The words struck a chord in me, and I snapped.

Ignoring everyone’s shouts, I rose from my seat, pushing past Lloyd’s outstretched hand and making my way to the group of teenagers.

Look at her. Can you believe the audacity of a criminal to be out in public? She and her brother deserve to be outcasts — they’re dangerous.

Quiet fury burned in my veins, stirred hotter by the insults hurled my way as I approached.

“Damn, looks like the freak’s girlfriend is mad,” one of them snickered. As I got closer, one of the girls leaned closer to her friend to whisper, “Hey, isn’t that the new—”

All of them recoiled from me as I suddenly cracked my fist into one of the guys’ nose.

He crouched away from me, cradling his nose as blood gushed out of it. “What the hell?” he shouted, blood dribbling down his chin.

Around us, phones whipped out to record the fight, but I just shook my head in distaste. “Don’t be an asshole if you don’t want to get hit like one,” I told him, not bothering to hide the venom dripping from my voice.

The girl who’d recognized me whirled her phone toward me threateningly. “Stop! Go away!” she yelled. “You’re the new kid at Ninjago High, right? We’ll get you expelled!”

I scoffed out a dry laugh. “For what? Defending a friend from being harassed? I’m not on school grounds, and I could threaten you with the same,” I retorted before turning away.

A brief whistle of air was the only thing to alert me that the guy I’d punched was swinging at me. I veered to the left, feeling the air from his punch graze my arm as I dodged the blow. “You don't learn, do you?” I scowled, turning back to face him.

The guy shouted angrily before swinging again. His punches were messy, anger clouding his thoughts. I sidestepped them with ease.

“Just stop, before you hurt yourself,” I warned, grabbing his fist and spinning him around to fall onto the floor.

I crouched down next to him, not worried about being hit since he was out of breath and limp on the ground. “And just remember, your threats don’t scare me. Come after Lloyd again, and you don’t need to worry about fearing him — it won’t be Lloyd who will come after you,” I whispered next to him, my voice low enough that only he could hear.

With that, I rose from my feet and walked away. I ignored the looks on everyone’s faces as I got to the bench and swiped my food wrapper from the table. “Thanks for today. I had fun,” I said and turned away without meeting their eyes. “And I’m sorry.”

I left before they could stop me, grimacing at the silence as I walked off. I’d definitely wrecked whatever friendships I was starting to have with them.

“Dammit,” I cursed myself once I was across the street from the plaza. No one had followed me. I didn’t know whether to be glad or feel miserable because of that fact.

“Things were going well, but you had to screw that up, didn’t you?” I muttered under my breath, frustration and shame heating my face up and bringing stinging tears to my eyes. “You got a brand new start, and you just had to ruin it.”

Even though it was only around five, it was getting increasingly darker as I made my way back to the apartment, one hand clenched around the key in my pocket while the other remained free, in case something happened.

I was breaking one of Skylor’s rules; no one was walking me home. Then again, I’d already broken the “behave” rule, so it wasn’t like this was my only transgression.

Nevertheless, I found myself keeping a watchful eye on my surroundings. I would not let my emotions make me an easy target.

A rustle came from behind me, quiet enough where I wouldn’t have heard it if not for the heightened hearing my whisps allowed. It was a human, by the sound of it. Male. Tall.

“Hell no,” I grumbled under my breath, walking faster. Hell if I was going to end up kidnapped or killed because I had been stupid enough to let my emotions get the better of me earlier and effectively cut off the friends that could’ve dropped me off.

I crossed the street suddenly, testing to see if I really was being followed. A few seconds passed and the man didn’t cross over to my side. I was ready to dismiss it as paranoia, but then he crossed, subtly. Pulled out his phone as if looking at directions. I scowled.

Okay, time for test number two.

These parts of Ninjago City, the parts not as close to Skylor’s apartment building, weren’t yet familiar to me where I was comfortable enough to split off public roads into alleys, but there didn’t feel like much else of a choice. I had to shake him.

Keeping a careful watch on the man with my whispers, I headed down a tight alleyway that should’ve still led to the direction of the apartment.

It felt like the man finally realized I was aware of him following me, because his pace sped up, anxious to catch up to me. My heart started beating faster, but I forced myself to keep calm. Panic would not help me now.

Walking wasn’t proving to be enough to shake him off, so when I spotted a wall I could climb up, I quickly hoisted myself onto a ledge and pulled myself over to lay flat on the connecting roof.

Placing a hand over my mouth, I waited for the man to pass the wall I’d scaled, tracking him with my whisps until he was far enough away where he wouldn’t find me again. I slid down the wall, landing silently. Skylor’s apartment wasn’t too far now, and I hurried to get there.

Once I reached the familiar glass door, I breathed out a sigh of relief. I buzzed myself in and climbed up the steps to get to our floor. Now safely inside the locked apartment, I strode over to the couch and collapsed on the cushions.

“That was way too close,” I mumbled into the cushions. If I had been any more distracted, something bad could’ve happened.

I silently resolved to explore more of the city. That would never happen again. Not on my watch.

Exhaustion suddenly came over me, weighing down my eyelids. I let them drift shut, feeling my muscles go limp as I sank further into the couch.

——————————

It was a fitful nap. No dreams or memories, but rest was elusive as smoke.

The sound of a lock being opened and a doorknob rattling open stirred me awake, and I squinted as I slowly lifted my head from the couch to peer at the sound’s origin.

Skylor walked through the door. Light from the hallway backlit her as she entered, laughing softly.

Kai trailed in after her. He was leaning in like he was about to kiss her.

I coughed loudly, clearing my throat to announce my presence before I witnessed something I’d want to burn from my memory.

The two startled at my cough, with Skylor staring at me as Kai frowned.

“Mari? What are you doing here?” she asked, peeling herself away from Kai — who’d started to take off his jacket — to walk over to the couch. “It’s still early, why aren’t you with the n— with your friends?”

I tilted my head at her slipup but looked away when I processed her question. “No reason,” I lied, tucking my knees to my chest and leaning against the couch’s back.

Skylor frowned at the obvious lie. “Did someone walk you back home?”

“No,” I murmured, already feeling tired of where the conversation was going.

“Why not? Did something happen?”

At that, Kai looked up from where he’d been kneeling to take his shoes off. Suspicion and mistrust flared in his eyes as he stepped closer. “What did you do?” he demanded.

I bristled at his words. “I didn’t do anything,” I scowled, but then my anger faded away as quick as it had lit, replaced by shame. “Not to them.”

Alarm flashed in Skylor’s expression. “What happened?” she repeated. I didn’t miss the way her eyes carefully scanned my person for any injuries.

“I…” Hesitation made the words drift away.

“Did you hurt them?” Kai butted in again, still not letting it go.

Skylor turned to him with a disappointed frown. “Kai.”

“No, I want to know,” Kai whipped to face her, anger burning in his eyes. But underneath that anger, some other emotion was present. It looked like panic, or protectiveness.

“I didn’t hurt your friends,” I told him firmly.

Kai looked back at me, doubt permeating his expression. Skylor’s slight worry turned into concern as she noted the way I called them Kai’s friends, not mine.

“Mari, what happened?”

I sighed, looking away as guilt displayed itself on my face. “Some jerks were harassing Lloyd while we were out eating. I… punched one of them.”

The two looked taken aback. Slight respect cut through the fog of Kai’s mistrust, but it was quickly replaced by frustration. “You punched someone?” Kai hissed. “Why would you—” He took a moment to calm himself. “Look, it’s great and all that you wanted to defend Lloyd, but you do know that you’re just proving to the whole city that he — and everyone he associates himself with — is violent, right?”

“I know!” I snapped. “I just— maybe you didn’t know before, but I know what it’s like being an outcast in society. So when those assholes started spewing their crap, I just lost it, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt Lloyd more by punching the guy. And it won’t happen again.”

Kai barked out a laugh. “Believe me, I know about you,” he said. That made me narrow my eyes. “I know all about how you were shunned because you were related to a criminal. That means you should’ve known better,” he reprimanded harshly. My blood went cold when he mentioned my past. “Because guess what? If those people post about what you did online, Lloyd’s reputation is gonna be even worse!”

“You think I don’t know that?” I retorted, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I can’t go back in time and stop myself from doing it, but I promise that it won’t happen again.”

“Oh yeah?” Kai scoffed. “How can I trust the promise of Ikarashi’s niece?”

Once again, my blood froze when Kai spoke.

“How do you know that name?”

My voice was barely audible to my own ears, so it was a wonder Kai heard it. However, it seemed he hadn’t meant to say those words out loud, because he slammed his mouth shut when he realized his slip.

“What name?” He put on a look of confusion, one that I didn’t buy for a second.

“Don’t play dumb,” I snarled. “You just said you knew that I was related to a criminal, but you shouldn’t know who.”

He didn’t answer, but his face said it all.

“You looked into my past, didn’t you?” I breathed out, laughing dryly as I looked away from him. “You… What are you gonna do now, huh? Now that— now that you know Lloyd’s friend is the niece of a yakuza crime boss? Are you gonna banish me from seeing him? Report me to the police?” I goaded him, eyes glinting with dark amusement, daring him to try something.

Kai’s face darkened with barely concealed rage. Skylor’s silence during our discussion didn’t go unnoticed by me.

“Whatever you do won’t be more than I’ve already gone through, I can assure you of that,” I told him, wiping the bitter smile off my face to scowl at him instead.

Sudden understanding dawned on Skylor’s face.

Kai sneered, fists clenching at his sides. “Maybe I will! You’re more of a danger to Lloyd than I thought,” he muttered quietly, his threat making a small pinprick of fear pierce my heart.

“No, you won’t,” came Skylor’s firm reply.

Both of us whipped around to stare at her.

“Why not?” Kai argued. “Do you see her right now? Did you hear her? If she keeps being around Lloyd, she’ll bring more of the police’s attention onto him when he’s done nothing wrong!”

“Have you forgotten who your girlfriend is?” Skylor countered. “I’ve done worse than what she did. Chen was my father. Do you think I deserve to be in jail because of that?”

Kai sighed, almost running a hand through his hair, but stopping just shy of the brown locks. “That’s different!”

“How? How is it any different?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“You’re didn’t— you were never—”

“Yes, I did, and yes, I was,” Skylor interrupted. “I was completely complicit in his illegal fighting arenas and in his other crimes. I was fully aware of it and didn’t feel any remorse.”

Silence met her words as Kai begrudgingly accepted her argument.

“I don’t know if Mari was involved in her uncle’s crimes, but regardless, she left that part of her past behind. She came here to get away and have a fresh start at life,” she finished.

Surprise lit my eyes at her words. Skylor glanced at me, nodding her head in understanding. “I know, Mari. I figured it was why… I see myself in you, you know.” Guilt suddenly washed over me, the memory of my hidden mask burning me with shame.

Turning back to Kai, Skylor jutted a finger into his chest. “And damn it if I’ll let her second chance be taken away from her. I got my second chance — do not take away hers.”

No one said anything after that last line.

“Fine,” Kai eventually huffed. “I won’t report her to the police.”

Skylor raised an eyebrow at him.

He sighed, grumbling under his breath and reluctantly turning to face me. “And I won’t banish you from seeing Lloyd. But I’m warning you: do anything to hurt him, and you’ll wish you never came to Ninjago City.”

Skylor didn’t look too happy with the second part of Kai’s sentence, but she nodded. She was probably thinking the same thing as me: that it was Kai’s way of protecting Lloyd. The same way she was protecting me.

“Thanks,” I said to Kai, making an effort to meet his apology with less hostility. “But I doubt Lloyd wants to be my friend anymore, anyway.”

“Fine by me,” Kai muttered. He yelped when Skylor elbowed him.

“Come here,” Skylor said to Kai, pulling him by an arm to the kitchen, out of my earshot — or at least what it should’ve been if I’d been a normal person. But I had no desire to listen in on their conversation, so I ensured the whispers stilled around them so I wouldn’t overhear anything.

Without my enhanced hearing, I could barely hear the hushed tones they spoke in. But watching them was enough to gauge what they were saying.

As they came to some sort of an agreement, Kai leaned down to peck Skylor on the lips before he pulled his jacket and shoes on and left. As the door clicked shut, Skylor sighed before turning to look at me.

“Me and you are going to have a talk,” she said, her tone leaving no room for debate. But with a glance at the clock on the wall, she sighed once more. “Tomorrow.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

Skylor nodded at my agreement and turned to head into her room. “Goodnight, Mar.”

“Goodnight,” I replied, watching her enter the room and shut the door. With a sigh, I eventually got up from the couch to walk into my own bedroom, closing the door with a click and collapsing onto my bed. I didn't bother changing out of what I was dressed in — it wasn't uncomfortable enough to be a priority, not when the day’s exhaustion had worn me down so easily.

My phone buzzed with a notification from where I’d placed it on the nightstand. I turned on ‘do not disturb’ and flipped it over. With my luck, it’d be a text from Lloyd, either saying he didn't want to be my friend or asking me to talk to him about what happened.

I couldn't deal with either of those things right now.

Besides, tomorrow was Sunday. I still had a day to think through what happened and process how I was feeling before I dove into a big discussion with Lloyd and his friends.

But you and Skylor are going to talk tomorrow, too, I reminded myself. Ah, yes. Another thing to add to my laundry list of handling the mess that was my life.

Thankfully, sleep came easily this time. It only took a few seconds to drift into unconsciousness.

——————————

Previous | Next

[sizey-oc-smackdown]

ROUND 1: BATTLE 5

Participants: @sizeshiftingdeath 's Derek, Chase, Ash, and Quince, @kayla-crazy-stuffs 's Kyo Miyama, and @poprockpanda 's Oliver "Ollie" & Morrigan "Shadow Bestie" (omg my nepo babies)

Descriptions: "Derek- Messy dirty blond hair, light brown skin, wears a bandana around his neck, freckles, pinkish eyes Chase- White, brown hair, usually wears sweatshirts, freckles, light purple eyes Ash- Pink hair, pale, scar under right eye, blue eyes, traumatized Quince- brown skin, Brown hair, scar under right eye, green eyes, traumatized but pretends he isn't, dad jokes all day every day"

"slightly dark brown hair, green eyes, white t-shirt with black pants and dark brown boots. He also has a scarf the color of his eyes that covers a scar/wound on his neck."

"Mouse boy got abandoned by his family, fucks around and is bad at it, and then gets a cool shadow beast friend. Shadow Bestie is a quirky cryptid made of shadows."

Propaganda: "Quince- He is Ash's dad and is a 41 years old. This bitch (affectionate) knows no fear, which, since he's a borrower, is not a good thing. He actually gave himself the scar across his eye just to "look cool" which he regretted almost immediately since he now can't see out of that eye (it does look cool tho). He went missing/got captured when Ash was 10. Who knows what happened to him? (I do >:)c )

Ash- They are a non-binary borrower. They're 16, blind in one eye bc of the scar. Definitely is terrified of humans, takes forever for them to warm up to any. Dyed their hair using some random pink hair dye they found and thought it was cool. Got it pretty much all over their hands and neck on accident.

Chase- He's 19 years old. Chase tries to look big and scary but he's a real softie and wouldn't hurt a fly. Also, he is bisexual chaos lmao. He is an absolute disaster half the time and I love him for it.

Derek- He's 19 years old as well. Eventually him and Chase start dating. He's seen some shit but you can't really tell unless he tells you. And by tells you I mean he drops it in a normal conversation so casually it gives you whiplash, also the reason he always wears a bandanna around his neck. He is a very kind man."

"Really mean towards the humans but really nice when it comes to his little sister"

"Ollie is a little cringe baby who hasn't had a peaceful day or a good night's rest since he was 11. SB is just a curious cryptid who is super interested in Ollie's shenanigans."

Extra Bits of Propaganda: Ollie and SB Fic

because i am the poll runner and i want my little guys to win i am going to bribe a bit. if they make it past this round i promise to finish and publish the second chapter i planned for their fic of them hanging out and i will draw them both in pretty dresses. hope this convinces y'all to not murder my buffoons in round one lol

[muddyorbsblr]

ohh hey it's the last day of 2022

first of all, when the fuck did that happen??

There was so much that happened in the last year I could've sworn some of them happened in 2021, but apparently not…? It's honestly so hard to believe that when this year started, I was in a different mindset, a different community, struggling AF to get anything going creatively, and frustrated to the high heavens as a creator because I felt…well, I felt alone.

And that was how it felt for the first 8 months of the year. I felt like I was pushing this impossibly heavy rock up a steep mountain with no hopes of ever actually getting anywhere because I was in a community that gave such elitist vibes that even though I'd been there for 2-3 years, I still felt like an outsider. Surrounded by people who internally held you to this grading scale and only if you reached a certain "score" with them would they think that you're "worthy" of a like and comment.

Honestly there was a time I uploaded a video every day for two months and all I got was silence, and while I never gave a fuck about the numbers, admittedly it would have been nice to even get a "wow i loved this!" from the people who called me "one of their closest friends in the community". Like…you say that the love is there but…I don't feel it? And honestly being 'friends' with people like that felt a lot like this:

And then a shift happened, and I somehow found myself back here on Tumblr looking up Loki fan fiction because I'd just started simping over Tom Hiddleston full force and there's a warm fuzzy feeling I get from reading fanfics that never went away, and reading them again somehow felt like finally coming home.

I gotta admit though, I lurked for a few months. 🤡

Started off just reading stuff and not saying anything, then leading to me leaving likes on masterlists so that I could come back to them and go through them one by one, and I didn't do much besides that for a few weeks. And then I saw a post about how comments and reblogs kept the authors that we love motivated to keep on making stories for us, so I gave my trauma from bad interactions in previous communities a resounding 'fuck you' and began to comment. And then that led to me reviving this blog of mine so that I could reblog those stories to share them with all 40+ of my followers at the time who I knew would get whiplash because I'm not posting about Markiplier anymore.

All those little efforts culminated in me joining in on a thirst train that ended up rekindling my love for creating stories, which led to 'what's today again?' and I gotta be honest, I thought that was all I had in me. But then idea after idea came and I kept on writing stories, and suddenly we're here…a little over three months later, and those 40+ strangers who couldn't care less about what I was posting on this account became nearly a thousand (???) that saw the work I was putting out on the internet and actually enjoying it and telling me that they enjoyed it.

Suddenly I have friends again that I love talking to and that I want to give back the love that I receive from them with everything I've got. Talking with people about things that I love and not feeling like I'm being a burden to them (which is honestly the biggest thing for me 🥹). It's because of all of them that I'm looking forward to seeing what 2023 has in store because I'm surrounded by people who care the same way that I care, and we all get to be weird and thirsty and horny together.

So here's to the people who saved 2022 for me. For turning not only the year but my life as a whole around, for being there to talk to about literally anything, and for creating a place where I felt safe enough to start sharing parts of myself that I'd had locked away for years. Honestly, I never thought I'd be sharing my writing with anyone ever again, but I'm really glad that I had y'all to encourage me and tell me to keep going, and that it definitely wasn't going to be the death of me if I began creating a story about Loki falling in love with Thor's daughter 🤣

Here's to 2023. May it be filled with many laughs, thots, and mangoes.

@lokisgoodgirl @mygfloki @sarahscribbles @give-me-a-moose @mochie85 @fictive-sl0th @gigglingtigger @kikster606 @xorpsbane @mischief2sarawr @wheredafandomat @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @simplyholl @joyful-enchantress @lokiprompts @cake-writes @holymultiplefandomsbatman @loopsisloops @michelleleewise @vbecker10 @holdmytesseract @thedistractedagglomeration

[baekhvuns]

Baek, wake up it's time for your avocado class! Btw my flatmates and I plant avo seeds and they actually bloom despite the environment not being the best for them. We have avocado plants, they're so tall wtf

I know someone who has a husband - she made him a kpop stan as well. And he pays for all her kpop shit. What I didn't know was that she has a child, she never mentions him, just simps and cries over Ateez I assumed she's childless, wtf woman. I'm not shaming her age, but she's 37 spending all her days talking about kpop...

I was actually interested in Ranamun, and the recent penis thing was entertaining shgsjshsjshshs, but man needs to grow up. I think Sir Knight is over for me, I lost interest in him long ago and reading the spoilers made me actually dislike him. I don't think he gave her a reason, at least not yet. First he seemed excited, then just ghosted Latil 🤡 I hope he's not the father, cause 🔪 my friend was rooting for him before she read the novel, but his behaviour is overall disappointing. I don't know what's going on with Klein, he's still there that's for sure ajhshshsbahhahs. Anyways, Tasir my fave foxy drug dealer look alike, I love you so much. 💖

Richarlison did what? I hope the Neymar tattoo is really ugly, deserved 😆 congrats to 🇭🇷! 🇲🇦 did well so congrats as well.

I know who the cat belongs to hahha. There's also one older neighbour with a dog and a parrot, she used to have an old cat too. I'm interested in the animals not owners. <3 Lmao, I definitely imagine weird scenarios before going to sleep, though I don't want any man obsessed with me so I don't do that particular thing,but y'all have fun 🤗

It's not my cousin, so I don't know all the details, but yeah this whole affair situation is funny, hopefully they don't fuck it up 👁👄👁

Kpop stans love acting like managers and sure sometimes they have good points, I'm also baffled by weird choices companies make. But in the end we need to sit down and stfu. Looking forward to Yeosang's song cover though!

One of my friend had so many different impressions of Hwa, first she thought he was intimidating, then shy and quiet and didn't know the lovely loser that he is. But she finally saw his questionable and adorable behaviour and she's goneeee

Agreed about the autotune and live thing. Ok sooooometimes hearing a song live makes a difference, but it won't make me listen to the OG. Like I enjoyed the videos of Fireworks remix performance, but I still don't like it very much. I hope Ateez brings melodic choruses back 😭 I'm still on the fence with Movement's choruses, except Cyberpunk, and Paradigm has the same issue. Or at least make the drop less messy, idk just do something lmao

EXO really went radio silent then went SURPRISE, the whiplash!

Oiling means a lot of touching 👀 if the oil smells nice it's not a problem, but yeah bandaging it is. Let's mummify him

Ballerina and boxer, I'm in, however you know what I'm waiting for... but I'll be happy with anything. 😊 Bestie hang on there you can do it (finish the Yunho fic)

What is this guy saying?! His photo along with Seonghwa's were the best! And what is he planning to do with his hair... speaking of, PONYTAIL IS BACK and arms are out too. Why is he a grandpa

True true an icon & this is so cool, also hold on, back off

😭

Furry...

I got not like the other girls on the quiz....... DV 💖

hello!!!

Baek, wake up it's time for your avocado class! Btw my flatmates and I plant avo seeds and they actually bloom despite the environment not being the best for them. We have avocado plants, they're so tall wtf

I AM UP (for all the right reasons that were worth it), AVO 101 😭😭😭 omg??? u guy should start a avo business, 'home-grown-avo's!' 16$ each

I know someone who has a husband - she made him a kpop stan as well. And he pays for all her kpop shit. What I didn't know was that she has a child, she never mentions him, just simps and cries over Ateez I assumed she's childless, wtf woman. I'm not shaming her age, but she's 37 spending all her days talking about kpop...

kpop atp a whole pyramid scheme 😭😭 oh man i hope it's not that one case where the child was an exol and the mom was an army and it was this whole ruckus bc in the end the kid suffered 😭😭, id personally invest in a job or two at that age <3 a world outside kpop!

I was actually interested in Ranamun, and the recent penis thing was entertaining shgsjshsjshshs, but man needs to grow up. I think Sir Knight is over for me, I lost interest in him long ago and reading the spoilers made me actually dislike him. I don't think he gave her a reason, at least not yet. First he seemed excited, then just ghosted Latil 🤡 I hope he's not the father, cause 🔪 my friend was rooting for him before she read the novel, but his behaviour is overall disappointing. I don't know what's going on with Klein, he's still there that's for sure ajhshshsbahhahs. Anyways, Tasir my fave foxy drug dealer look alike, I love you so much. 💖

I AM TOO AND TH EPENIS THING 😭😭😭V WDYM WHAT HAPPENED TO IT DJFHGFHJGG loosing interest in this fic come on mr sonnaught 😭😭 NAURR WE COULDVE HAD A POWER COUPLE WHY WOULD HE DO THIS STOPPP if sonnaught doesn't do a 360 in his behaviour is on sight 🔪🔪 TASIR IM SORRY I DOUBTED U, UR THE ONE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE

Richarlison did what? I hope the Neymar tattoo is really ugly, deserved 😆 congrats to 🇭🇷! 🇲🇦 did well so congrats as well.

YEAH 😭😭😭😭 IT IS DJHJDHFJ I DONT THINK RICHARLISON ACTUALLY DID IT PROBS SOMEONE ELSE FBFB BUT IT SENDS ME THAT HE PAID TO REMOVE IT 😭😭😭 JOKES,,, bestie did u watch today's match, woah woah what a game, the constant equalizing in goals and then penalties and the final results, bro won football 😭😭 morocco is crazy good it was a tough one w croatia,, this has me crying not produce 48😭😭😭

I know who the cat belongs to hahha. There's also one older neighbour with a dog and a parrot, she used to have an old cat too. I'm interested in the animals not owners. <3 Lmao, I definitely imagine weird scenarios before going to sleep, though I don't want any man obsessed with me so I don't do that particular thing,but y'all have fun 🤗

GOD DAMN IT DOES THE CAT HAVE SOME GODFATHER,, do u do this bc IT SEEMS LIKE I HAVENT LIVED A SINGLE SCENARIO TO MYSELF AND EVERYONE JUST BE DOING THIS SDHFGLAF,, no ur so right having someone obsessed w ut entire being is only good in fics

It's not my cousin, so I don't know all the details, but yeah this whole affair situation is funny, hopefully they don't fuck it up 👁👄👁 //// Kpop stans love acting like managers and sure sometimes they have good points, I'm also baffled by weird choices companies make. But in the end we need to sit down and stfu. Looking forward to Yeosang's song cover though!

AAHHHH STOP A ETL AND ITS FUNNY?????/ TOP TEIR ROMANCE RIGHT THERE,, u are so correct i also find a particular dislike in tweets that constantly mention that the kq isn't giving members promo, but ppl don't even be watching the content their channel puts out? or forgetting that they're always doing something like we are still getting shows from fever era?? like sometimes there's just a lot in a schedule and companies do everything, instead of creating assumptions one should enjoy the content they're constantly putting out!

One of my friend had so many different impressions of Hwa, first she thought he was intimidating, then shy and quiet and didn't know the lovely loser that he is. But she finally saw his questionable and adorable behaviour and she's goneeee

LOVELY LOSER SFDSHKFSHJKF see it's always the ppl who look intimidating but are actual tulips that get us all by the grip, so ur saying we all just want an intimidating person who has loser tendencies dvbjdfb

Agreed about the autotune and live thing. Ok sooooometimes hearing a song live makes a difference, but it won't make me listen to the OG. Like I enjoyed the videos of Fireworks remix performance, but I still don't like it very much. I hope Ateez brings melodic choruses back 😭 I'm still on the fence with Movement's choruses, except Cyberpunk, and Paradigm has the same issue. Or at least make the drop less messy, idk just do something lmao

okAY YEAH SOMETIMES, yeah! it won't make me like the og bc then the concert one's arent usually put out and those ones are the better ones!! "I hope Ateez brings melodic choruses back 😭" nO BECAUSE REALLY THEY RLY SHINED WITH THEIR VOCALS THAT TIME,, tbh movement is ateez's evil arc and i do be liking that album but paradigm is something i personally can't get along w bc it's just noise

EXO really went radio silent then went SURPRISE, the whiplash!

THE WHIPLASH AND ON TOP OF THAT BAEKHYUN READING FANFICS, DOUBLE WHIPLASH 😭😭😭😭

Oiling means a lot of touching 👀 if the oil smells nice it's not a problem, but yeah bandaging it is. Let's mummify him

king tut who? king hwa only, sEEeEeeE with the oil and my low iron my hands would be cold and im afraid he will run away

Ballerina and boxer, I'm in, however you know what I'm waiting for... but I'll be happy with anything. 😊 Bestie hang on there you can do it (finish the Yunho fic)

i now have 4 fics u can chose from but i will put them out after this shit of a fic fhkcehfjh hopefully i get it done before christmas!

What is this guy saying?! His photo along with Seonghwa's were the best! And what is he planning to do with his hair... speaking of, PONYTAIL IS BACK and arms are out too. Why is he a grandpa

NO LITERALLY WHAT IS HE ON,, no ones looking at the ponytail. no. none. STOPPPPP HES LIKE THAT GRANDPA FROM REBORN RICH FHFLHF one min he's grandpa the other he is this? how dare he

True true an icon & this is so cool, also hold on, back off /// 😭

THAT HAIR OF HWA ESP, HAIR STYLIST NEEDS A RAISE FOR THAT ALONE,, atz back in the day rivalling seo taiji i see i see, NAH STAY WHERE U ARE NEWBIES

Furry...

alpha hwa x reader au coming soon

I got not like the other girls on the quiz....... DV 💖

NOT THAT SGHAGLGFHUFHFJH ANON U ARE THE YN !!!!! here's a new one

and uh, this guy?

[minty-marshmallow]

Physical 100: S2: Ep 6

Okay, about to find out who is his last pick! Thanos...nice choice to be honest. I mean I probably would have chosen him first haha. I'm glad most of them understand though. Yeah, it's nice to make friends but that's outside the game. At the end of the day, (like I said previously) it's a competition and you're trying to win.

I wonder what the next quest will be.

Oh wow, so they're gonna eliminate 2 groups in one go...dang! The pre-quest seems simple lol but pull-ups are so dang hard bruh! I was in JROTC in high school and never could do pull-ups haha. Jung Ji Hyun ain't here to play around, he just kept going with more pull-ups he never gives up. Amotti too omg, and he never looks tired lol he just keeps smiling haha.

I mean I know that having girls on a team means their strength might be weaker but it doesn't mean they will lose. Women can have more endurance and stamina than men. Oh, they're gonna show Jung Ji Hyun's group competition first? I thought they would wait and show it last and then leave a cliffhanger with it.

The set is incredible, I wonder how much it cost for all that? Oh, so that's how it's gonna work there are different sections and each team has to have 1 member do that section of it. This game is insane! I can't imagine how much strength and endurance will be needed. I thought the ship thing from season 1 was bad but this I think might be worse than that lol.

Bro, you were eliminated once, don't go getting too confident now. Thanos is funny to me because he's like "It was much heavier than I thought" then turns around and is like "It was hard but not as bad as I thought it would be" lol like sir you're giving me whiplash here haha.

I feel bad for Won Hee's team...they're gonna struggle a lot but I hope they don't give up and put all they have into it.

I wonder if that guy can push it with 20 bags in it. I'm curious which team will win. Seeing all the sports bandages the contestants have on them makes me worry. They really are working themselves to the limits for this show.

Naw, Andre I think your plan was good. It's just that y'all aren't as strong as them I mean hell Thanos moved 30 bags which was like what a whole ton or something. That's an amazing feat. Its sad they gave the last team a penalty for getting help but honestly, they needed the help.

He shouldn't be embarrassed. Sir, you gave it all you had. Sir, pushing with your head is asking for a spinal injury!

I wonder which team will come in second place? Well, gotta wait till the next episode haha.

[decima-simming]

ULTIMATE Strangetown Male Premade Ratings!

Welcome to the sequel (Electric Boogaloo!) to ULTIMATE Belladonna Cove Male Premade Ratings! The reception to my last post has been so positive and I feel compelled to continue these ratings. By popular demand, I’m going to rate the Strangetown men! So without further ado, here’s my ratings on all the male Strangetown premades (excluding teens and children) based on looks and if I want to date them.

What the fuck? No, seriously, what the fuck? I don’t know where to start with this guy. Loki Beaker? You mean to tell me he is named after the Norse god of mischief and he looks like that? The actual Loki must have messed with his face, there is no other explanation. Maybe the reason why he commits unethical experiments is because he literally cannot see. How can you look back at what you do if you literally can’t? Nevertheless, not only is he ugly as sin, he is an awful human being. No hot evil male scientists allowed in The Sims, thanks EA/Maxis! -100/10.

What happens when a hot alleged serial killer and the Grim Reaper (yes, really) have a child? This bony, lanky guy, apparently. Wow, Grim must have compensated with his amazing personality. According to his gender preferences, he dislikes women, and I can’t really blame him. If the only women in my life were my neglectful mother and my abusive scientist adopted mother, I would hate women, too! I’m not going to bash Nervous Subject too harshly (I already did, but oh well), but I’ll say this: The only way he could be bangeable is if he showed his Grim genes. You know, show some ribs, wear a black cloak, become stronger than SimGod, all that hot shit. It could be worse, though; he could look like this in actual gameplay. Phew. 4/10

Don’t let the headshot fool you, Pascal Curious looks way better in gameplay (especially with default replacement skins and a new hairstyle *chef kiss*). Waaay too obsessed with fucking aliens, but he seems like a good-natured guy, I can tolerate him. His bio says he collects conspiracy theories and now I’m . . . curious. *ba dum tss* 6.5/10

Wow, the universe really hates Vidcund Curious! First that stupid name, then he pisses himself publicly, his hot as fuck girlfriend breaks up with him, he was once Buzz’s punching bag (then again, who wasn’t?), Sims can’t stand his jokes (I feel plagiarized!), the chances of being betrayed by him are 100%, and worst of all, that haircut is an abomination. Hey, Vidcund, the 70′s called! They want you to stop associating yourself with the era! 3/10

Wowie, hot TAMALE! Lazlo Curious is the hottest man in Strangetown, DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE MY MIND! He is chill, he is smart, he is cool, and with the right default replacements (an example by yours truly) . . . oh yeah, BABY! 10/10!!!!!!

Oh, boy, this is going to open a can of worms. Good thing he has boyish good looks because everything else about him is fucking ugly. And before y’all jump down my throat, barbershop quartet singing is not redeemable! Where do I even start? In his youth, he had the reputation of physically fighting every boy in Strangetown, and that can be highly associated with his exaggerated serious nature and lack of nice points. He has severe anger issues, I want him to stay far away from me. And now someone is going to jump from their bush and try to catch me with a “Gotcha!” because boys will be boys, they need to fight because he is A BOY, anger in boys is natural, tears are for pussies! Also, he probably grew out of it anyway, stupid Merary/Decima! Hominem, you are so wrong, because he clearly did not grew out it. Let me ask you something, who did Buzz, a grown man, tried to fight lately? That’s right, he fought PT9, who looks very old when it happened! Shame on you, General Buzz Grunt! This is purely speculative, but considering how one of the following memories is Lyla breaking up with him, maybe, just maybe, Lyla left him because of his hot-headiness and harsh nature towards his neighbors. He was a terrible husband, but is even worse as a father. I have no sympathy for parents who pit their children against each other (Hello, Daniel and Mary-Sue!) and the whole situation with Tank and Ripp saddens me so much. Every time I play the Grunt family for the first time, Buzz’s first autonomous action is to always insult or poke Ripp. Fuck this guy. Maybe stop forcing your children into following your steps and treat them like human beings? Yes? No? Pft, no wonder Olive wants to call you to possibly kill you, no one in this town likes you other than your eldest son! Also, I’m not a fan of the military, so even if he is good at his job, I’m going to judge him because of it. I’m against xenophobia (”They are aliens, not human! Doesn’t count!” Yeah, so?), so he gets minus points with that. Well, at least he tried, right? The only useful thing about him is that he makes a good front for family dinners because of his career and good looks. See, Mom and Dad? I’m not a gold-digger! Would I screw him? Yes. -5/10.

Don’t think for one second that I’m letting Pollination Tech#9 Smith off the hook. PT9 is that deadbeat dad who at first you don’t like until he learns a lesson about responsibility and decency. Good thing Lola and Chloe ended up fine, NO THANKS TO HIM! Also, he is a thot! Pollinating a man with twins and then banging his human daughter the old-fashioned way, creating the most complicated family tree of all time? Also, the PSP canon says that he had a family back home? Saucy! Apart from that, he seems like a good husband and father to his legitimate children; it’s the bare minimum, but I’m a sucker for it. Love the Hawaiian shirt, you funky alien man, you. 5/10

And finally, Ajay Loner. Ajay’s biggest sin is that Maxis/EA didn’t care too much about him because they barely gave him a personality or a good haircut. Fortunately, default replacements, better hair, a bit of a scruff, and a non-sporty shirt make him look decent, even cute and hot! The best makeover of him, in my opinion, is AldoHyde’s Ajay Loner. Like I said, a scruff really suits him! What more can I say, I like him. 7/10

You really read all of that? Thanks for allowing me to waste your time, it was my pleasure! <3

[nemesis-21]

Still jetlagged and couldn't sleep, so I finally watched the KinnPorsche World Tour 2022 concert and here are some reactions no one asked for:

(kind of in order and I had a lot to say about the end apparently 😅)

Why is no one talking about the mom's performance??? Jaw. Dropped. 🤩

Barcode, Build, Us, Nodt, Job, Bas, Perth, and Tong are always invited to karaoke.

Jeff. Satur. I said as soon as he was casted that it would be a huge mistake not to have him on the OST. I got goosebumps when he (and the audience!) sang Why Don't You Stay.

MY KIMCHAY HEART! WHY DON'T YOU STAY ENGLISH VERSION?! No. Jeff took us to church on that one.

Kinn took Porsche to achieve his dream of having a beach bar. Stop! 🥺

Ex should only ever be referred to as "Daddy" out of respect. I was staring at him and only him during the Minor Family's stage. 😂

The Sailor Moon stage proves that literally all of us who participate in this industry, whether it be cast or fan, are a bunch of dorks and I love that for us.

Build and Us had me screaming my kpop stan heart out. Like y'all really going to do Mirror Mirror, Mommae, and Bang Bang Bang like that?! Back-to-back?! 🙌

Imagine being a rich boy who happens to live out his own y/n story with a boy he crushed on in college who looked like his celebrity crush and successfully got said crush to dress as that character for a live concert your company has put on after you two starred in a globally successful gay mafia drama where you two had many many spicy scenes together. Yeah, Mile did that.

Every single one of those backup dancers and singers were amazing. They did all those stunts and quick changes. Like everyone at Be On Cloud is so talented. Damn.

Build: I'm glad my mom could be here today. *Pony bodyguard strip show stage begins*

Bas and Nodt putting it out there that they're single and ready to mingle. 🤣

Us 🥺😭💕

Tong and his mom and him finally feeling like he made it! 😂🥺😭💕

Build 😭😭😭💕

Barcode, sweetie. He's going to be trouble if he ever learns just how much power his cuteness has over everyone.

I felt Bible's speech in my soul. I truly hope one day you realize that you are deserving of all of this love and more.

I started crying as soon as they showed Apo on screen. He has been through so much just to stand in front of us on that stage today. He almost gave us so many times because of how unkind the world was to him. I'm so grateful he tried and tried again. I'm so glad he met these other wonderful human beings and can have this happiness and success.

"Not 5 hours like yesterday!" *Mile sits down* 🤣 It's his company! He gets to do as he pleases!

Thank you to the translation team (and fan translations too!) for making this a more accessible show! They didn't necessarily need to provide that but I'm extremely grateful that they did that for us international fans. Thank you!

OH MY GOD CUMULUS LET'S GO!!! 🔥🔥🔥

(This concert is giving me emotional whiplash. 😅)

Excuse you, Bas, who decided you got the voice of an angel too?!?! Someone marry this man, please!

Build on that sax is everything.

Mile proving that with enough money you too can live out your true y/n wishes. But in all seriousness, Mile is multitalented and seems to be a genuine guy. And as long as he stays true to his passion with this team and not let success get to him, I will always respect and support him.

That has to be some of the sexiest drum, guitar, and bass playing I've seen on stage. Get it, kings!🔥🔥🔥

I change my mind: all of them are always invited to karaoke!

Perth hanging with Nodt by the keys! YAS! Love my besties/ghost ship.

S/O to all the fans who took kpop lightsticks to the show! I see you and love you!

The MileApo movie trailer is fucking gorgeous and is giving me goosebumps! This movie is seriously going down in cinematic history. I just know it. It looks spectacular already and I will fly to Thailand to see it without knowing any Thai just so I can appreciate it and show my support.

YO! TA DJING?! LET'S GO! TURN THIS PLACE INTO A CLUB!! 🔥🔥🔥

BRO! I would pay serious money to get into any club Ta is DJ'ing! HE IS KILLING IT!!! I WISH I WAS THERE JUST FOR THIS!

BUILD, TONG, AND US STRUTTING LIKE THAT!!! YAAASSS!!! 🙌

Okay, please, if there is any sort of higher power or diety in this world, please allow me the privilege during this lifetime to go clubbing with this cast with Ta DJ'ing. 🙏

I didn't need English subs to understand that closing. This group of people truly is something special, huh? And they really did make something special too.

The show just ended and I finally looked at the clock. I didn't even realize the show was over 4 hours long. That was amazing! I really hope they announce a US stop close to me, so I can experience this live. Wow.

I said it before and I'll say it again: KinnPorsche (and Be On Cloud) is changing and will change this industry.

[bump1nthen1ght]

I’m Still Hurting (Orc x Reader) Part 2

Pairings: Fem!Reader/Male!Orc

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Angst

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2107 words

Summary: You and your boyfriend establish a new normal

A/N: At long last, the highly requested part two! I had a bit of struggle coming up with a proper followup to the first part (which was part of why I left it with an open-ended ending in the first place lol). Little less angst this time, I felt these two deserved a little sweetness after the last chapter. Hope y'all enjoy!

Part 1

The first thing that caught your eye when you walked by the music store was the Grand Piano. It was gorgeous: Polished mahogany, a nice velvet seat, and keys that looked like they had never seen the sticky fingers of a curious 8 year old.

“Wow, is that new?”

You nod, admiring the old-fashioned air of the instrument. You knew jack shit about music, but even you could tell that this piano was an antique, one probably worth a good chunk of change.

“Must be. I’ve never seen it before and this place is on my way to work.”

Waruck hmms, pressing his hands up against the glass. His eyes sparkle when he sees the “Free to Play” sign right next to the piano. It probably reminds him of his Grandpa’s, the one he played when you guys visited his family for Christmas.

That was a long time ago.

“Want to go in?”

Waruck pulls away from the glass, eyebrows raised. He rubs the back of his neck and steps a couple feet back, trying to curb his enthusiasm.

“Uh, we don’t have to-”

“I don’t mind. It's been a while-” You pause, the slight-anxiety in the air making every casual word difficult, “It’s been a while since I’ve heard you play.”

Waruck smiles, small and polite, and opens the door of the shop for you. Before, he might have done a little bow and said “Ladies First” in a British accent.

But that was before, and this is now. Now, every comment is walking on eggshells, whispered tentatively and under your breath. Testing the waters for how comfortable you two could get around each other.

Still, it was exponential growth from two months ago.

--------

After your meeting at the coffee shop, you had asked Waruck for a month; A month of privacy, for you to collect your thoughts and feelings, to be alone for a bit. He had agreed immediately, shuffling out of the cafe with a hunched back and a melancholy air, but he had kept his promise. You took the time to focus on other things, shifting your relationship to the back of your mind and enjoying the day-to-day.

But a part of you felt a little bad, like maybe you were stringing Waruck along for an inevitable breakup. Getting his hopes up for an extra tortuous punishment that left a sour taste in your mouth. So on one brave Saturday night, you sent him a meme you saw on Instagram, one that reminded you of him.

That second month saw the two of you texting more and more frequently, sending little jokes, asking how your day was, so and so. Each week rebuilt a little bit more of that familiarity, that comfortableness. It finally got to the point where Waruck asked if you were free one weekend. He just wanted to get some lunch and stroll around the neighborhood for a bit. For the first time in a while, that idea didn’t seem too bad.

--------

The air is considerably cooler inside the store, a tiny bell ringing as a rush of air-conditioned air hits both of you. Waruck makes a beeline for the piano, his footsteps short and quick. You feel a smile crawl on your face; He always acted like an excited kid when it came to music.

Waruck plops down in the center of the stool, fingers lightly brushing over the keys in awe. You walk up the piano’s side, laying your hand on the wood and admiring the lack of smudge marks on the polished wood. Waruck tests out a G note and although the sound is short, it’s extremely pleasant. Waruck’s smile grows even larger.

“When I was a young boy…”

You mutter under your breath. Waruck chuckles, quickly continuing onto a G flat.

“My father took me into the city,” Waruck hums

“To see a marching band.” The two of you sing together, laughing a little bit too loudly and gaining a sharp look from the tired sales clerk. Waruck waves a little apology, but that playful grin stays on his face.

“Wow, that brings back some repressed Hot Topic memories.”

“Seriously. I can almost feel the book my band teacher used to thwack me with. Me and my buddies would sneak into the choir room and play that all the time.” Waruck’s fingers dance over a couple more notes, aimless.

You’ve always liked watching Waruck play. His fingers were so dextrous and controlled,  not to mention long and nicely articulated. He’d probably make good money from a hand-model side-gig.

“Want to take a seat?”

You shift your focus away from Waruck’s hands. He’s made space on the bench and pats the open space next to him.

“Yeah, sure.” You say, despite the fast pace your heart is now beating.

You keep a solid two inches of distance between your bodies, keeping your thighs together as to not brush your legs with his. It felt like a middle school dance, keeping a bible length away from your partner to avoid the disapproving stare of the chaperones.

Waruck nods, absentmindedly running his fingers up the scale. “Any requests?”

Immediately, all non-love songs depart from your brain. One of your favorite pieces sits on the tip of your tongue and your brain refuses to let it go. You shake your head.

“Nope. It’s all yours, music man.”

Waruck chuckles, a little louder and a lot more comfortable, as he sits deeper in his seat.

“Prepare,” Waruck cracks his knuckles, “to be amazed.”

You bite back a laugh. He’s still such a dork.

He starts to play, his hands easily finding the right keys, moving like a well-oiled machine. Your heart nearly skips a beat before it melts into a puddle of sentiment.

It’s your favorite.

The song brings back memories of your childhood, a rainy day in, and delicious food. It’s like chicken soup for the soul and you can feel any of the left over tension leave your body.

Waruck’s eyebrows furrow with concentration, but he has a large smile on his face, his large tusks peeking out from his lips. His arm stretches across the piano as the song hits its most fast-paced part. His biceps and shoulders lean more into your space, but the feeling isn’t unwelcome. It feels natural, as if his presence and yours is part of the piece itself.

Waruck’s thigh brushes against yours, but his pace doesn’t falter and neither does yours. You stay enraptured, watching how easily he slips into the music. You barely even notice how you have begun to lean closer to his side; Your mind says it’s to give his arms plenty of space to play, but it’s still far more comfortable than you are willing to admit.

How easy it feels, in the moment, to fall back into routine.

The song begins slowing to a stop, only a couple seconds left, when the sounds of the music shop return to you. A giggle from not too far rings discordant with Waruck’s piano.

Three girls stand not too far from you, watching with fascination as Waruck plays.

“Wow, he is so good!” One whispers to her friends.

There is nothing even remotely lascivious in their eyes or in their words, but a knife still twists in your gut. Your throat constricts as flashes of your bedroom, of unanswered texts, and a picture of a bar corner booth send needles down your spine and into your heart.

Is this wrong? Is this giddy feeling you have only distracting you from reality? Is it like this song, Waruck’s playing, beautiful but temporary?

“Ugh, I want what they have.”

“I know, right? How romantic.”

They’re wrong, you’re wrong, this is wrong; It’s fake, fake, fa-

Your eyes dart to and fro, trying to desperately avoid Waruck’s quickly overwhelming body heat and your audience, before it catches on the distorted shape of your reflection in the window.

The glass is old, slightly drooping, even the golden lettering of the music shop’s name looks dusty and sun-bleached.

But what is unmistakable is you and Waruck. Waruck, playing piano, and looking at you. Looking at you with the love in his eyes you thought had died, or had never been there at all. The group of girls stands in the background, small and out of focus.

And Waruck is staring at you.

“Are you okay?” Waruck asks, his warm hand on your shoulder.

You whip your neck around, almost getting whiplash.

You’re here, in the music store, with your boyfriend. He looks at you, brow slightly puzzled from your wild eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I,” You suck in a deep breath, “Sorry, I guess I got lost in my own head. That song gets me kind of nostalgic.”

Waruck pats your shoulder and you miss it’s heat when he pulls it back to his side. He smiles, but you can tell he is still slightly worried.

“No problem, I get it.”

You notice now how much closer Waruck is to you. His chest has shifted towards yours, the fabric of his shirt sleeve pressing against the skin of your bicep. Waruck’s knee absentmindedly knocks into yours, but the contact doesn’t sting or jolt you. Not even the continuing silence makes the situation awkward.

It’s nice.

“Do you want to check out the record aisle? They might actually have that piece on vinyl.”

Waruck gestures with his thumb to the piles of CD’s and records not too far from you two. You nod

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

--------

The two of you spend about an hour in the music store, pointing out hilarious cover art and admiring some vintage finds. Waruck even gets you to chuckle a couple of times, slowly bringing out his old cheesy puns.

Waruck’s missed this.

You two walk out of the music store at the tail end of one of Waruck’s jokes, you playfully punching his shoulder.

The two of you wander, in the opposite direction of your cars, for a little while. But Waruck hasn’t lost track of time; No, he’s soaking in every moment he can, every smile and lingering look you give him. Every reminder that this is real.

He spent a week agonizing over what he did. Stuck in silence as he gave you your space. His friends (His real friends, not those assholes from the bar) had offered to come by and keep him company, but he turned it down.

When Waruck got back into routine, it was slow-rolling. It was difficult to fight the instinct to check his phone for a good-morning text, or check your Instagram for any ‘post-breakup’ partying.

No, he had already broken your trust once. The least he could do was give you some time. Spend some hour not wallowing in self-pity, but actively make a change.

Waruck began to accept those invites to a chill hang out, playing some poker and sipping on beer with the gang. He played his keyboard when the thoughts got too loud and went jogging when the music wasn’t loud enough. He called his mom a couple of times, even sent his sister a  couple of texts to catch up. They hadn’t spoken outside of holidays for almost three years.

Maybe he was the one that needed time.

God, why did you have to be so smart?

“Oh shit, how long have we been walking?” You mutter, checking your watch for the time. Waruck turns around you, already knowing the answer was 27 minutes, exactly. The both of you were nearing the edge of the neighborhood, cafes and shops turning into residential suburbs. “Dang, time really flies, huh?”

Waruck smiles.

“With you? It always does.”

You give him a half smile, patting his bicep. “Oh my god, you’re such a cheeseball.”

Waruck winks and shoots you some finger guns.

“You know it babe.”

You giggle, checking your watch once more, face turning just a little bit.

“I should probably head back, I’m getting dinner with some friends tonight.”

A small part of Waruck yearns for more time, but he lets it go.

Space, this was about establishing space.

“I had a lot of fun today, Waruck.” You step a little closer, Waruck’s heart skips a beat.

“Me too.” He whispers, his breath catching as your fingers brush against his.

It’s a simple gesture, one you’ve down a million times. But when your palm slips into his, your finger’s interlocking, it’s like fireworks have gone off.

“Same time, next week?”

Waruck nods, not trusting himself to speak without a voice crack.

That’s all he needed, all you wanted; The promise of the future.

“Yes, I would love that.”

[here2bbtstrash]

jack in the box thoughts if u care. warning this got long as hell and obviously i am reading potentially sus english translations soooo take all of this with many large pinches of salt. JUST LET ME LIVE, I LOVE TO ANALYZE SHIT OKAY.

god i really love this intro a lot. it's giving audiobook in the car lmao but i do think it's the perfect introduction to the concepts of the album for those who are maybe unfamiliar

"hope gave people the will to carry on living amidst the pain and strife" no lies detected

okay but his TONE on pandora's box and the way his voice gets more and more intense it's like.... you can hear the pressure of all of it building. omg. ALSO THIS FUCKING CHORUS.

fucking hell i love this style of music for him it puts his unique and versatile voice on display so well. nothing to distract from it.

more dance break ✨✨✨ still such a banger ugh

OKAY THE BEAT OF STOP..... and wow these lyrics. "there are no bad people in the world" i'm sorry did y'all hear that???? pretty sure jung hoseok just said transformative justice???? abolish prisons and policing?????? ahem sorry i'll stop

AHHHH I WASN'T READY FOR = (equal sign)

HE SAID TRANSCEND/BEYOND GENDER..... I'M ASCENDING......... i'm ready for the post-gender future,, hoseok take me with u 🥺

oh my god his VOICE and the VIBE of this chorus...... give it to me 90s fantasy!!!! I NEED MORE HOBI FALSETTO ALL THE TIME WHY HAS HE BEEN HIDING THIS FROM US i'm driving directly to hybe to FIGHT SOMEONE

music box: reflection ...... *chuckles* i'm in danger (DO IT HOBI UNLEASH THE SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON DO IT DO IT)

oh my artistic analysis ass is LIVING for this directly after equal sign so much to fucking UNPACK abt the concepts of equality vs. like, actual justice OOH OOH OOOOOOOH

damn i literally just had to take a breather when what if... started. no offense to those who love it but sooome of the lyrics in equal sign rang a teensy bit hollow to me (i am sooooo over the 'we are one race 😌 the human race 😌' crap ya know,, although there were definitely a lot of great parts abt respecting differences/not needing to all be absolutely the same in there too! i am not dragging the song lol!!!)

and for him to turn around and slap us in the face with THIS?????? oh i am RIGHT THERE WITH U HOBI omfg. like IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE....

HE REALLY SAID MAYBE IT'S ABT MY PRIVILEGE AND NOT JUST MY WILL OH MY GOD. KING SHIT.

"I wonder what hardships and ordeals mean to you Since you only walked up intact stairs" !!!!!!!!!!! JUNG HOSEOK

holy fuck i need someone to come hold my hand. i may not survive to the end of this album.

god this idea that it's so fucking easy to talk abt hope and optimism (and yes, equality!!!) when you live a privileged life. i'm literally about to fucking cry. i love it so much i cannot BREATHE.

thank god for the whiplash of safety zone i need these tears to go back up into my eyeballs lmao

ooooof these lyrics tho. i have so many feelings abt celebrity/idol culture and gosh i just wanna give him a hug. it's gotta be so hard to feel like there are so few people you can trust and be entirely safe around or even just points where you feel like you can actually REST (my trauma brain sure knows that firsthand 🤪 and honestly i'd imagine being an idol impacts the brain similarly to complex trauma..... i am js,, we can unpack that later if y'all want)

"I like animals better than people these days" - felt, hobi, felt.

future is such a cute lil bop aaa! i appreciate him reminding us that HE needs to be given hope too 💜 AS I CANCER I CAN RELATE TO ENDLESSLY GIVING.... you gotta help yourself before you can help others babe!!!!

this song is so lovely ~ it's giving positive nihilism ✨ and that sometimes it's okay to take the next step even if you don't know what's coming and you're scared. i hope he feels this way about the hiatus honestly 🥺 babe absolutely deserves it

ugh and arson as a closer feels so damn correct. i watched the MV already so it's not my first time hearing it but this after everything else we just went through...... it's so fucking perfect. burn down all the shit that no longer serves you.

and i also just love the metaphor of everything he's been through being like arson bc it's like, sure, "i set the fire".... but obv he (and all of bangtan) had NO IDEA it would get as big as it has (like any out of control fire).... really i'm sure they felt like they *had* no control after a certain point. seriously the perfect metaphor for it. uncontrolled burn that eventually either has to burn out or keep going and engulf the mf world. and i trust them to make the right choice. 💜

damn alright well. i have tears in my eyes still. what a fantastic fucking album. i am so proud of / in love with this man. and 'what if' is OBVIOUSLY my favorite song it's not even fucking close sdjfkljsf

DAMN LOLLAPALOOZA MIGHT ACTUALLY KILL ME

[half-blood-goods]

Watching the Demon Slayer Movie for the first time, ft. Live Reactions

Okay so I binge watched the first season in one day, I'm expecting great things from this movie considering it's like the highest grossing anime movie or something

Thaaat's a lot of graves

It's nice all the fallen Demon Slayers get a grave

Man I love Inosuke so much

"When did you get so gigantic"

I'm legit surprised how calm the passengers are with all the shouting and stuff

Man, I love Rengoku already

Like he's cool, but he also has this right amount of over-the-top aura around him

Y'all need glasses, the ticket guy is clearly shady

After those goddamn spiders back on the mountain, no Demon Design will put me off anymore

I hope this train has insurance or something

Why are y'all asleep, at least one of y'all should be on duty of something

Oh. I do not like this hand.

Ooookay, I'm extremely weirded out by these kids

✨flashback time✨

Nevermind, this ain't good

Oh it's this fucker from the last episode

NGL I like his style

It's so weird seeing Nezuko's mouth animated, even if it's a dream

LMAO INOSUKE 😭

NEVER CHANGE, PLEASE

Of course Daddy Issues are here too

Little Rengoku is so cute

Oh the optimism

Oooooohhhhh, I see where this is going.

I love these Blood Demon arts, they can get so creative

Damn, Rengoku ain't fucking around

Man, Tanjiro can't catch a break

Oh yeah, Nezuko's still in the box

The brothernal instinct is STRONG

Oh man, here come the tears

The whiplash is killing me

BRUH? You gambled BIG

Why tuberculosis out of ALL THINGS

Bro this is lowkey depressing

Imagine having such a pure soul that it makes someone have a turnaround

Yeah keep on dreaming buddy, he ain't going down that easily

Goddamn they went all in with the animation didn't they

Ha, get fucked

Yeah, it was suspiciously easy

Nope nope nope NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE BRING BACK THE SPIDERS PLEASE

Oh SHIT HE *IS* THE TRAIN

Nezuko out here having a BBQ

YEAH, INOSUKE

This has more kinky energy than it should be allowed to have

GET 'EM NEZUKO

Thank God he's asleep, he's much more tolerable this way

GET 'EM RENGOKU

🎶I got my eyes on you🎶

O U C H?!

GET REKT

Is he dead dead? Finally?

Tanjiro is so fucking pure I'm almost tired of it

Yes he has to do that last part

Jesus Christ we're only 15 minutes past halfway through?!?

Yeah yeah just evaporate already

Bro get some fucking eyedrops or something, I have not seen you blink ONCE

FINALLY

Yeah we still got like more than half an hour left, it was expected something would happen

Yo isn't this the motherfucker from Jujutsu Kaisen?

You know shit is getting real because his smile dropped

Yo why is this guy low-key hot? Just me? Okay.

Yo what happened to your mosquito daggers or whatever the healing lady gave you to get the blood? I just remembered those

GODDAMN

Oh shit-

What just happened?

No because why is this guy low-key making sense

BROOO HE LOOKS SO COOL

OH FUUUUUCK

Not the flashback-

Having dead eyes seem to be a running things in the family. I do not want to ruin the moment, but I just wanted to mention it

Y E E T

Goddamn-

I'm actually shocked, this breakdown scene was incredible

Don't you DARE die on me Rengoku

I DO NOT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

STOP

NOOOOOOOOOO

WHY ARE WE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE NICE THINGS

I was FULLY expecting Inosuke to say "Bitch" instead of "Baby"

NO CAUSE I'M CRYING WITH THEM ALL

YOU CAN'T JUST END THE MOVIE LIKE THAT??? THAT'S GOTTA BE ILLEGAL OR SOMETHING

Amazing movie, 10/10, gonna go cry now, I need to recover from this

[1234-angelika]

Red

an: Track two of Red (Taylor's Version). This is my first time writing for any of the avengers so, I hope I did ok. Please remember to like/reblog if you enjoy this piece. I do hope y'all enjoy.

words: 1.2 k

warnings: whirlwind romance, breakups, arguing, minor mention of alcohol, minor mention of food (ice cream)

“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street/Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly”

Your relationship with the Star-Spangled man started like something from a dream. Walking down the crowded New York streets, you were balancing a coffee, your phone and keys in one hand and your portfolio in the other. A balancing act like no other but not anything out of the ordinary. In the hustle and bustle of the morning commute, someone shoulder-checked you from behind, sending you stumbling into Steve Rogers himself. Upon collision, even though he grabbed your arms to steady you before you could fall, your coffee spilled all over his shirt—staining the once snow-white t-shirt with a big brown splotch. He introduced himself to while you sputtered apologies, trying to hide your embarrassment. Steve just laughed it off and invited you to coffee—to get to know you and replace the beverage you lost. Again, you apologized, saying you were running late for your meeting and gave him your business card, telling him to call you before walking away.

Ever since that first date, your relationship had been nothing short of affectionate. Behind closed doors, of course, his 50s ideals were still so deeply ingrained in him. And you were okay with that; he was a perfect gentleman. The relationship had started off a little faster than most—there was a lot less dancing around each other and awkward interactions. But it was a whirlwind, and as a result, you fell for him faster than you thought possible. Any faster, and you would've had whiplash.

And when it ended, it was totally out of left field. It came out of nowhere, and there was no room for discussion. Steve showed up one night at your apartment, face stoic when you opened the door—a contrast from his usual warm smile. Before you could say anything, he did.

"We need to break up. I'm sorry."

Then he was gone. Your eyes followed his frame until it disappeared into the elevator. Once you closed the door and took a seat, the dam broke. Tears were flowing freely, and you couldn't stop them. You felt like the world had come to a screeching halt, and everything around you had just collapsed.

“Fighting with him was like/Trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer/Regretting him was like/ Wishing you never found out that love could be that strong.”

Arguments between you and Steve were few and far between. Most issues were resolved with a calm discussion. But when you fought, it was bad—Tony had even compared it to world war 3. There were a few times Tony had asked you and Steve to take it outside because you were being too loud. Even in your loudest fights, though, it was rare that anything hurtful was said; it mostly just trying to argue your points of view. The complex he had developed in his time being Captain America made it pointless to argue with him. No amount of evidence could dissuade him in a fight once he had made his mind up. It was one of the most frustrating things in your relationship.

Countless nights were spent on your couch watching comfort movies and nursing pints of Ben & Jerry's, only to be washed down with your favourite wine in a fruitless attempt to heal your heart after the breakup. And you were alone. You didn't have a support system since you had ghosted Natasha and Wanda after your breakup with Steve; you were still relatively new to New York and hadn't had the chance to put down roots.

One night, about a week and a half after your split, you were just overcome with regret. Not from being with him, because that relationship was special to you, no matter how whirlwind it was, but regret from letting him in. You held so much regret, to the point that you were angry with yourself on the fact that you allowed him to get through your walls. Through the very walls, you had built yourself to protect your very fragile heart. But he broke them all down with ease using his dazzling smile and gentlemanly personality. The way he loved you so deeply and passionately and stronger than you had ever been loved only made the pain worse.

Healing was hard. It was a tedious process that spanned over many weeks, and those weeks turned into months. One thing you had concluded was that you would never let anyone love you like that again. And you spent countless nights wishing on the stars--most of the time, they ended up being helicopters--that he never loved you the way he did, that you never found out just how strong that love could be.

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes/Tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go/But moving on from him is impossible/When I still see it all in my head/In burning red/Loving him was red.”

Three months passed, and you had yet to move away from New York, but it was time. You needed to go, and the longer you stayed in the city, the better the idea seemed to get. Just walking through the city, you would get random flashbacks as you walked past the places you had gone with Steve. The worst was Central Park, the two of you spent the most time there. Walking along the path, you were passed by multiple joggers and a mommy group out with their kids, but when you passed the bench nestled under the massive Elm tree, you grew misty-eyed. Memories of winter's past flooded your mind.

The city had just been coated from the first snowfall of the season. For most of your life, winters were cold, but you rarely saw snow, so when you woke up, you were excited. You waited until the clock read six am before picking up your phone. It rang and rang, and on the last ring, before it reached voicemail, your boyfriend's voice filtered through the speaker.

"Good morning darling, what're you doing up so early?"

You couldn't help the excitement in your voice. "Steve look outside. It snowed! The first dusting of the year."

He chuckled at your excitement, and then the two of you made plans for the rest of the morning. He would pick you up from your apartment, and then the two of you were going to take a walk in the park. You spent a good while getting bundled up, preparing to face the cold. When he got to your apartment, you hurried downstairs, thermos in hand—excited to get into the snow and to spend time with your superhero boyfriend. You greeted him with a hug, and then he interlaced your fingers, and the two of you set on the path to the park. Together you walked around the park before you started to get a little too cold. Finally, you stumble upon an old wooden bench, snow-free and under the protection of the Elm tree. Snuggling into Steve's side, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder in an attempt to pull you closer, to keep you warm. And you spent the next little while people-watching—making up backstories and names.

As you came out of your memory, you chuckled with a watery smile and wiped away the stray tears that had fallen from your eyes. You knew it was time to let him go. You might never get an answer as to why he broke up with you, but you needed to give yourself a chance for a fresh start. To heal completely. And to be happy again, whatever that would mean.

“His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street.”

[sortavibing]

losing face I suna rintarou

yes. im doing a part 3 :) i love this series so i'm probably going to do the whole album (im sorry y'all) PSA: all the characters here are in college/have a job, because we don't stan underage drinking here

part one part two

fuck my life

suna was laying on his bed, unable to sleep, making quick glances at the clock every few minutes, seeing the time pass from 3 am, to 3:10, to 3:15... he sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to get any sleep (yet again), and got up, stretching his arms, as he dragged his feet to the bathroom. he flicked on the lights and squinted, temporarily blinded by the sudden change in lighting. as his eyes adjusted, he stood there, looking at himself in the mirror.

is this really me?

he shook his head, as if to reset the reflection in the mirror, to what he was before you broke up with him. as he stared at the figure, hair a mess, face pale and almost transcluvent, and eye bags so dark they rivaled his black hoodie he was wearing, all wrinkled and creased. suna looked like a ghost. and the thing is, he was. without you, he was nothing but a shell of what he was before, nothing but a emotionless robot, intent on doing nothing but rot away, secluded and silent, with lifeless eyes and weary bones. without you, his life has lost all meaning, and after the last voicemail he sent you, he lost all sense of hope that you were coming back. he turned off the lights, not wanting to see himself anymore, and stumbled to the kitchen, opening up his mini fridge and pulling out a can of cheap beer. as he slumped in a nearby chair, he popped the tab of the can and took a long swig. this was his life. every day the same. dont sleep, wallow in sadness, refuse to speak to anyone, and repeat.

what have i become?

suna took out his phone, and immediatley opened instagram, to see if you posted anything about your new boyfriend. you did. he rolled his eyes as he looked at the post. you were beaming, as you were getting a piggy back ride from your new s/o, who was smiling just as wide. the world looked perfect in that post, even the light was a golden hue. he groaned a loud fuck as he turned off his phone, unable to see you so happy, while he is so fucked up. he finished the rest of his beer and crushed it. absentmindedly throwing it into the overflowing trash can. as he sat down once again, a sudden memory rushed into his head, giving him whiplash. it was a memory of you, back when you guys were still together. and happy. you and suna were at a local cafe, eating the specials and sharing a drink. you were laughing at some stupid thing he said, and he had a light smirk on his face. after your giggles subsided, you looked at the cafe sign, and started to speak.

"you know, we should start a cafe together, when we are like, old and married."

"you know i can't cook for shit, how tf would i help"

"your good looks would bring in customers."

it was suna's turn to laugh, as he gave you a light kiss on the cheek.

"sure. that sounds like fun."

and as soon as the memory started, it was over, the happiness shattering like broken glass, as suna was brought back to reality by the ringing of his phone. he was about to turn it off, thinking it was just a spam caller, or osamu, trying to make him see sense, but he noticed your name. he immediatley stood up straight in his seat, lightly wincing at the sudden change in posture, and then picked up the phone, and answering.

"hey."

"hey suna. um- i heard your voicemail..."

"forget it. please. i was mad, and i just ended up fucking this entire situation even more."

"i think you meant what you fucking said suna. i was just calling to give you a piece of my mi-"

"can i just have a chance to speak?"

"why the fuck would i let you do that?"

"please"

you stopped talking, and suna thanked every god that he could think of, happy that you actually agreed."

"first and foremost, oh let it be said my dear,"

"dont call me dear"

"i was going to be a good boyfriend to you, so this is not an act of spite, it's a visceral breakthrough."

"cut the poetic crap and spit out what you want to say."

"secondly i know i haven't been that great, you know the way i can be. today im fucking drunk, like i have been every single fucking day. you've lost a piece of you in me, but i've lost all my past."

"oh so am i supposed to forgive you since you are now a drunken bastard?"

"is he better than me? has he seen more to this life? can he smoke more? can he fuck more? can he break me? can he break you? oh, I don’t know what i’m to do. i don’t know what I’ll fuckin' do."

you stopped talking, hearing how serious suna was about this. his voice cracked, like he was on the verge of tears, and then continued.

"i've seen our café, i've clocked our plans. oh, what could have been. if you didn’t go and fall in love, and ruin everything. i've seen him. i've been him. i've felt the same way, so in love with everything about you, that you will just- do anything to see you smile. i've seen him going out with you. i've seen what he can do, so touch him, and break me, as i see him doing everything that i wanted to do with you."

"i ruined everything? you literally cheated on me. don't go victimizing yourself, like you always fucking do. when are you going to realize that you are the problem, not me. thanks for that sob story and everything, but i don't want to talk to you until you come to terms with your own toxicity, so call me back when that happens."

you hung up, and he sat there, frozen, for at least 30 seconds, trying to process what just happened.

am i really the problem?

am i the reason why everything is fucked up?

am i?

suna slouched once again, realizing you were right. he turned off his phone once again, and sighed.

how am i supposed to change?

i hope you enjoyed!

[woozisguitar]

|Dream Boy|- Charlie Gillespie x Reader

|Pairing|- Charlie Gillespie x reader 

|Warning|- none (I think so. let me know if I should add any)

|Word Count|- 1142

|Summary|- Charlie and Reader have been best friends for all their lives. A certain dinner with new cast mates leads to a confession between the two best friends

|a/n|- Hi! Thank you so much for reading this. This is my first ever fanfic post here! It’s based off ‘18′ by One direction. To be fair, its kinda cringey. Anyway I hope y’all like it! 

You and Charlie had known each other for your whole lives. You went to school together, attended every hockey match and accompanied him to every audition. Your feelings for him were platonic until your 18th birthday. Your parents were always travelling due to work. Which leaves you alone on almost every birthday of yours. Your 18th wasn't any different, or as you thought so. That year, Charlie had thrown a surprise party for you, inviting all your friends. The moment your eyes met his on the dance floor, you knew you were in love with him. But unreciprotion and rejection scared you enough to keep them to yourself. Today, 2 years  since, you accompanied Charlie to his audition for a Netflix show called Julie And The Phantoms. “Charles did you really have to cut off your sleeves? What did they ever do to you?” “Oh come on y/n. These make me look cool. I am really looking forward to this role” “okay rockstar.”, you teased him,” Just remember whatever happened in there, I'll always be proud of you”. Charlie smiled and hugged you as he went in for the audition. You decided to spend a few hours at a nearby mall as a good way to pass the time. After 2 hours, you got a text from Charlie asking you to come back to the audition centre. As you reached there, a loud voice called out you name and you were swept off you feet. “Whoa Char, let me down dummy!”, you laughed t this over enthusiastic self. “I got the role y/n! I cant believe this”,Charlie screamed, his face adorning a huge smile. “Oh my god that's amazing Char  I’m so proud baby!!”, you hugged him tight, not realising the small slip up.

“You should join me and my bandmates for dinner. We are going to this cool pizzeria down the block. And of course I want them to meet one of the most important people in my life”, Charlie said walking beside you towards his car. He tossed you his car keys and got in the front seat. You shook your head but either way got into the driver's seat. “Why am i driving again?”, you asked him as you put the keys into ignition. “Because you're awesome and I need to change”, he said, feigning an innocent look. “Sure bub sure”, you rolled his eyes and started to drive towards the pizzeria.

The two of you reached the pizzeria and Charlie looked around to find his other bandmates. A tall blonde guy waved at us and Charlie pulled me towards the table. “Hey guys, this is y/n. y/n my bandmates. Thats Owen, Jeremy, Madison and Jeremy’s girlfriend Carolynn”

“Hey guys’, you said shyly, “it's really nice to meet y'all”

You and Charlie sat down on the table opposite Madison and Carolynn. “So y/n do you sing too?”, Madison asked you, placing her chin on her palm. “Yeah a bit. I don't usually perform. We have Charlie for that,” you eyes flickered to Charlie who smiled at you, '' I prefer to do theatre''. `` That sounds fun ,maybe someday we could stop by and watch you?”

“Well, be my guest. Just tell Charlie and I'll fix yall the best seats”, you grinned.

“Okay, now, how long have you and Charlie been together for?”, Carolynn asked, wrapping her hands around Jeremy’s arm.  Charlie choked on the ice tea he was drinking and your eyes widen at the question. “I- um- we- uhh”, you stammered trying to form an answer. “We are not dating. I mean I've known y/n for all my life but we arent dating?”Charlie said, almost as if questioning that himself. “Oh I’m sorry. I just thought that the two of you were dating because how comfortable yall were. Nevertheless, the two of you would make a cute couple”, Carolynn grinned and Madison nodded in agreement. You blushed and lowered your eyes to avoid eye contact from everyone. The rest of the dinner passed in a blur.

You and Charlie walked back to his car in silence. Why didn't we ever date?, you thought to yourself when you noticed Charlie pass by your house and go in the other direction. “Uhh Charlie that was my stop.” “I know”, he glanced at you and took the turn leading to the forest. You realized Charlie was driving to your Secret Spot. It was a clear opening that had a lake at one end of it. You and Charlie had stumbled upon it during one of your hikes. As most people didn't know about it, it was always peaceful. Charlie cut off the engine and turned to you saying “look I know you're wondering what we're doing here but I think we should talk”

“Sure, go ahead”, you said, your eyebrows scrunching in confusion. “Not here, by the lake. Lets go”, Charlie got out of the car and you followed in suit. The two of you sat on a log near the lake, both staring at the sky full of stars. “I love you”, Charlie said after a few minutes of silence. You turned to him so fast you were surprised you didn’t get a whiplash. “What?”, you questioned softly trying to calm the erratic beating of your heart. “I've loved you since we were 18. I know it sounds crazy but I do. You were always there for me, y/n. You were there at my happiest times and my lowest times. I always knew you were the one for me but I could never build up the courage to do something about it. But today when Carolynn said that I realised I want that with you. Why didn't we ever date? Look at us! We’re perfect for each other”, Charlie choked out with tears in his eyes and his hands desperately clutching yours. You stood there paralyzed, not knowing what to say. Hurt clouded in his eyes when he realised you didn't respond “I..I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that,”Charlie started to pull away from you when you said “I love you idiot.”, you gave him a watery smile and continued “I've loved you ever since I danced with you on my 18th birthday. I was so scared because you're you, Charlie and I'm me. And I was just so scared that I'll never be good enough for you-”, your words were cut short with Charlie's lips being pressed to yours. His hands rested on either side of your waist and you curled yours around his shoulders. The two of you pulled back, both out of air. “Sorry I couldn't stop myself. Y/N I’ll always love you no matter what. You're my dream girl baby”. “And you're my rockstar dummy”, You smiled and kissed him,knowing your love would be fine no matter what.

Taglist: (none)

[ashitomarisu]

Final Thoughts: The Aquatope on White Sand (AKA It took me way too long to summarize my feelings to properly praise this damn anime)

Let's be real, I have no idea how Anime America overlooked this, given it was in the Summer 2021 lineup; unless she did watch but left it in the middleground. Then again, was this available in Australia?!

Oh gosh, do I have so much to say about this series other than being a rare gem left unpolished by a bunch of other anime titles that overshadowed its potential. Yeah, I said it.

While the concept didn't seem that interesting at first, the story behind Kukuru and Fuuka felt engaging (once their friendship gradually builds later in the first season). Not to go into much spoiler territory, you have one who has a dream to keep a dying business alive (inside an aquarium), while the other gave up her idol career (wait for it...) to do something different with her life. (Did I mention this was taken place in Okinawa? You can tell the animation team were dedicated to getting the culture and vibe as accurate and appropriate to the area).

In fact, the theming of this anime felt unknown until Episode 12, when I kept remembering Kukuru seeing the two maternity books, which I left out the spoilers, thinking this would come back later in the next season. Unfortunately, that was not the case, so now I'm begging to know if a follow-up sequel movie will happen. On the other hand, "life" seemed to be the main theme, as there were so many hints dropped, from new lives coming to fruition, and old ones passing on, but told in such a genuine, pleasant pace.

As for season 2, this was a massive whiplash transition with changes on the horizon, especially for Kukuru dealing with the loss of her original dream and adapting to new challenges. Fuuka also deals with developing a new personal goal that becomes her dream by the end of the series.

[Enough with my thoughts on the story; how about the characters?]

The supporting characters and cast were enjoyable in their own ways, but Kuuya...OMG he had me going. His default nature is mainly aloof, and shy towards women, but mention alcohol and he's a complete 180. For basically most of the series, he barely gives a shit about his job, but once he transfers to Tingarla, that mentality starts to disappear.

However, no one hit me harder than Fuuka herself. Even before starting the watch, I did some research, and going back to what I said earlier:

YES, FUUKA MIYAZAWA IS VOICED BY AN IDOL, WHICH IS IRONIC AS HELL.-Here comes the Aqours references all over again, but I don't care because Lantis was also involved with the music.

(You have five seconds to stop read--TOO LATE).

Finally, someone else I can appreciate that isn't Riko Sakurauchi; and no I don't hate Riko, but RKK doesn't have a lot of main roles from my knowledge.

So, when I found this out, I immediately put this on my watch list as "HIGHLY ANTICIPATED". Yes, Fuuka was a delightful character, even if at first she didn't seem so confident in taking on a new path. Rikako, in my opinion, did a solid job with her performance.

----------

(Time to wrap this up before I get caught too deep)...

Overall, The Aquatope on White Sand, despite not being as spectacular at face value, it is one anime title that deserves more attention. If you're one for environmental topics and need something more on the chill side, give this a shot. It is still available on Crunchyroll at the time of this post.

--------------------------------------

Hopefully y'all enjoyed reading my final thoughts on this series. My apologies for the late entry; personal reasons got in the way. With that, this concludes the anime watch for April. Next month, I have something really obscure yet beloved to experience.

(If it weren't for Saberspark doing a review on it a while back, this would have not been happening in May. Let's just say, we dial the clocks back to 1999...turn off the lights, lock the doors, get your headphones on, hide the kids and witness the story of one CHEEKY LITTLE HAMSTER).

(UNTIL NEXT TIME, HERE'S HOPING SENPAI NOTICES YOU, BUT NOT WHAT YOU'RE DOING BEHIND THAT DOOR).

[dianapocalypse]

Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian 

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if  you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy 

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal 

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control 

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy 

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.