#I hope you have loads of chocolate ice cream in stock

[eepygeto]

I'M SORRY i see something worm related and i just stop and think about you like damn i hope sae's doing good today

wow… I don’t know how to feel about this…

[siberat]

Round 3

Oh No!!!  Looks like our dear Doctor is a bit gassy!  I wonder why?  Could it have been something he ate?  He sure looks embarrassed to let a loud, obnoxious belch rip through the air!  What’s that? The emoji looks as if… he’s drunk?!?!?!? Well, his belly is looking much more full- but I bet we can do better!

Let’s take a peek at what he ate:

 Energon Flan: this creative dish was based on the Spanish cuisine: it’s pretty much in the custard family of treats. This dish is very rich in flavor and has a sweet taste of caramel.  The custard is made from ground aragonite, chromite, and an assortment of ores mixed with some creamy energon stock, baked in an energon bath for that creamy texture, then chilled.   Can be topped with varies items- shown here is the ever so tasty (that it makes your teeth hurt) geode bits.  The crunchiness of the geodes contrasts the softness of the flan. Did Ratchet like it?  Oh yeah!

Grapefruit beer: this beverage is most likely the cause of Ratchet’s loud belches! I bet he chugged it all on one go!  This drink was created based from Earth foods.  The engex is made by fermentation as well as extracting raw energon materials such as phosphates, potash, and Tungsten by boiling.  This booze was made with crystal fruit selected for its tartness to replicate the Earthian grapefruit.  Has a nice taste, very smooth, and goes down easy! In Ratchet’s case- a little too easy!  Did Ratchet like it?  Taste- very good.  However, he shouldn’t have been given a six pack… but seeing as he drank it all: he did like it!

 Curry: Here is a spicey dish that has coal meat, energon veggies, as well as one’s desired minerals and ores.  The dish provides a sweet and savory spiced taste and has a rather ‘earthian’ taste due to the use of powdered gemstones and silica.  This dish has chunks of vanadium, uranium, and barium to bring in different flavors as well as color.  This almost stew-looking dish is served with energon rice and freshly baked flat lithium bread, sprinkled with decorative- and tasty iron seeds.  Almost forgot one of the ingredients: spice.  The heat is achieved by grinding up cinnabar, halite, copper, and niobium as well as ground leaves of various cyber plants-all of which are known to give a dish a good kick.  Did Ratchet like it:  yes and no. While he loved the food- he is such a baby when it comes to spice!  He shoulda ordered the extremely mild spice level!  I guess this could be the cause of chugging that energon beer so quick- in hopes to douse the fire in his mouth!

Lava cake:  Here is a real treat for anyone who has a sweet tooth. Who could resist the fresh, warm and moist cake with a sweet, gooey filling?  This chocolate souffle is rich with the flavoring of cobalt while the drippy insides are melted, sweetened feldspar.  This dessert on its own is a delicacy, however, being topped with a scoop of ice-cream energon is an added delight.  The frozen dessert is made by whisking energon cream with liquid nitrogen and stirred, resulting in a smooth and tasty snack.  But this cold snack will quickly melt on top of that warm lava cake!  Did Ratchet like it?  He loved it! His only complaint was there wasn’t more of it!

 Energon Pizza: This pie isn’t the sweet dessert one but tastes great none-the-less.  The crust is a lithium based mixture and rolled out, slathered in an a thick energon based sauce, then slathered with melted glycerol and petroleum-like cheese. The toppings can range from a wide assortment- and Ratchet likes his loaded.  Chunks of peat and sliced thin coal sausage litter this pizza.  The sweet taste of iron slices and barite bits are a complementary touch.  You just have to be careful that all the toppings don’t fall off as you try to take a slice with how stringy that melted petroleum and glycerol is! One slice of this meal is simply not enough!  Did Ratchet like it?  Yes- the greasy slices of energon pizza went great with that adult beverage.

 Well, I don’t know about you guys- but looks like there is still room in our dear medic’s tummy for some more foods.  What meals would fill up that belly nicely?  Got an idea?  Let’s feed it to the Doctor! Let’s get cooking!

*If you suggested a dish and haven’t seen it- there’s still more coming. I am getting some very interesting foods- some can be more challenging to draw- so I try to pair up some harder dishes with some easier ones.  There’s several more rounds to go- and keep the selections coming!

((reblogs appreciated))

­­­­

[breanime]

on the "5 times Miguel & Eva almost got caught perving on one another and 1 time they did": I sort of imagined it spanned their whole relationship? So maybe some college, some of the pre-kids early days, some when they first show up heck maybe one in the afternoon before the big blow-up where Miguel gets his head up his ass. And then I guess once caught by kids?

I kind of just made this a 5 times they were perving on each other and tried to hide it and the one time they didn’t hide it, so it’s not exactly what you asked. I’m sorry, but I hope you like it!

One

Rio was exhausted in the best way. It was three in the morning, he was living in a fucking mansion, and Cleo was naked and dozing off in his bed. He went to the fridge, taking out a gallon of OJ with the name “Coco” written on it and chugged it. He was shirtless, and the cool air from the fridge felt good on his warm skin. Too tired to do anything productive, and too awake to sleep, Rio wandered around the halls for a bit until he heard voices.

“I’m telling you, they’re ready to deal,” Miguel was pacing, Rio could tell by the controlled anxiety in his voice, “All I need is a day, maybe two, and I can secure their invests on this.”

“I know you think that,” Eve sighed, “but, really, Miguel, we’ve tried everything. There’s no point in prolonging defeat. We should cut our losses and move on.”

Rio poked his head around the corner, about to offer his unasked for two cents, but stopped when he took in the scene.

Miguel’s back was to him, and he was leaning over his desk, peering down at a few papers. And Eve...

...Eve was definitely checking out his ass.

Rio grinned, “Anything I can do to help?” He asked, chuckling softly at the way Eve jumped and took out her phone, sparing her one more smirk before walking away.

“The hell was that about?” Miguel muttered.

“Probably nothing,” Eve said back, not looking up from her phone, her cheeks warm. 

She didn’t look Miguel in the eye for the rest of the night.

Two

“I’m gonna slap you,” Coco growled.

“Why?” Angel asked back.

“You fucking know why.”

“Dude, the fuck you want me to do? Not look?”

“Yes! That’s exactly what I want you to do, you animal!”

“Bro, she’s wearing a fucking mini-skirt, how am I not supposed to look?”

Coco slapped him in the back of the head then, and Angel yelped, jumping back. “Carnal, look, even Miguel is checking her out!”

The two boys turned. Miguel was, in fact, checking out Eve in her tight, tiny mini-skirt. 

Coco made a face, “He’s not even blinking.”

“Dude’s a second away from drooling on his Armani suit.”

“Should we say something?”

“Like what? ‘Yo, we all know how bad you wanna break Eve’s back, but maybe stop ogling her in front of the whole house’?” Angel suggested.

Coco shook his head, “C’mon man, be more subtle... YO TIO, YOU NEED A GLASS OF WATER OR SOMETHIN’?!”

Miguel turned away, and Eve raised an eyebrow, confused as to why Miguel looked so guilty while Coco and Angel were laughing their asses off.

Three

Letty sat on Coco’s lap, kicking her feet as she enjoyed her chocolate ice cream cone with sprinkles. Liyah was in the kitchen with Eve, and the two of them were talking when Miguel walked into the dining room.

“Papa Miguel,” Letty said cheerily, “Daddy got us ice cream, and I got sprinkles!”

“I see,” Miguel smiled at his pseudo-granddaughter, “Is it yummy, amor?”

Eve couldn’t help but smile as she watched the exchange. Miguel adored Letty, and watching the two of them together always threatened to make her swoon. She watched as Letty offered up her cone to Miguel, and Eve felt her heart flip in her chest when his tongue came out to sample the treat. She never wanted to be an ice cream cone so badly in her life...

“Damn girl,” Liyah grinned, “you, uh, need a minute alone? Or at least a drink?”

Eve made a noise, turning around so that no one could see the dirty thoughts reflected in her eyes.

Four

When Eve walked in the room, Miguel and the kids were on the couch, watching...

“What is this?” She asked, tossing her ridiculously expensive purse (a gift from Miguel) onto the side table. 

“Security footage from our last job,” Spooky answered, “We wanted to review a few things.”

“Oh... Okay,” she went to stand next to Miguel, who was holding his chin in his hand. 

Miguel was trying to concentrate; he really was....it was important to watch the footage, see where they could improve for next time, but it was hard to focus when Eve was so close to him. She smelled so good; he knew for a fact that she was wearing his favorite perfume, and she looked as beautiful as ever, a small frown on her face as she watched the footage. The kids were talking, but he couldn’t hear them, all he could hear was the sound of his own heart beating the more he thought about Eve...

...his best friend, his partner...

...the woman he loved, but could never have.

“Is that Angel?” She asked.

“What?” He turned, blinking. “Is what Angel?”

“That,” she pointed to the TV with her chin, “Is that Angel or Spooky with the safe? I can’t tell.”

“Uh, yeah, that’s Angel,” he answered, clearing his throat and looking back at the screen, “Why?”

“Strong as he is, wouldn’t it have made sense--and been faster--to just have him stack the smaller safe with the lockboxes onto the bigger one and wheel them both to the truck at the same time?”

Miguel nodded slowly, considering it. “Yeah, that’s... That would be smarter, more efficient.”

“Oh, there’s Spooky... Didi did a great job covering all the guys’ tattoos.”

“Except Coco,” Angel called from his spot on the couch.

“Yeah, Coco is more tattoo than man,” Rio added with a smirk.

“Look who’s fucking talking,” Coco drawled back, only refraining from flicking him off because Eve was in the room.

Eve laughed, and Miguel couldn’t help but smile at the sound. She had a beautiful laugh, and her lips...

“...Miguel,” Didi called, “Uncle Miguel!”

He blinked, turning away from Eve to look at his niece. “Sí?”

Didi grinned, “I asked you a question, but you were too busy eye-fucking Eve to hear me.”

“Language, young lady,” Miguel said, more out as a deflection technique than out of genuine concern for her cursing.

“Coco just said ‘fucking’ two seconds ago!” She pointed out.

“Miguel, look,” Spooky sat up, “This is what I was talking about before, watch Rio...”

Miguel turned his attention (or at least a small portion of it) to the screen. Rio, Spooky, and Angel were loading the safes onto the truck. Coco’s head--wearing a black stocking over his face--popped out of the driver’s side window to watch them. On screen, Spooky said something to Angel and Rio, and Rio responded by nodding his head.

“See?” Spooky asked, leaning forward in his seat.

“See what?” Rio asked back, irritation clear in his voice.

“That nod--that could be used to identify you,” Spooky shot back.

“A nod? You for real, dude?” Angel said, rolling his eyes.

“We’re supposed to be as non-specific as possible, that’s why we wear masks and disguise our voices. Things like that,” Spooky gestured back to the TV with the remote, “can be used to implicate us.”

“How?” Rio asked back.

“They could match that nod to you, they follow you for less than a day, they’ll see you do it a good dozen times--”

“--Yeah, me and every other Latin dude within 8,000 miles,” Rio shrugged, “It’s a common fucking gesture, man. And even if they see me, specifically, doing it, they’d need way more evidence than that to get me in an interrogation room, much less get clearance to tail me.”

“The rule is to be as non-specific as possible,” Spooky repeated, “You know that, any tiny little gesture or comment can be used to track us down--”

“Dude, you’re blowing this out of proportion,” Angel said quietly.

“Yeah, Spooky, it ain’t that big a deal,” Coco added.

“Are you guys serious right now?” Spooky cried out.

“Why do you always act like the sky is falling down?” Rio shouted back. “We pulled a successful job, man! Shit went off without a hitch!”

“It’s not over just cause we got away,” Spooky argued, “There’s gonna be investigations, interviews--”

“--Yeah, I know how this shit works.”

“Enough,” Miguel’s voice broke up the squabbling quickly, “There’s no point in arguing over a hypothetical. Play the tape.”

He received no arguments, the tape was resumed, and they watched it in silence.

And Eve was pretty sure that Miguel’s small show of authority would be appearing in her fantasies tonight.

Five

Miguel hated when Eve cried; he hated when she was sad. She was working on less than three hours of sleep and was determined to keep working--despite Miguel’s continuous efforts to get her to take a break.

And now she was crying.

Miguel knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t so much upset, as much as exhausted, so he didn’t try to soothe her with platitudes.

He just walked over to her, wiped her tears, and pulled her in for a hug. 

Eve melted into his embrace, sniffling as her tears dried up. 

He pulled back a bit, looking down at her, his hand, warm and gentle, on the side of her face. Her skin was soft under his hand, and her eyes, wet with tears, were still the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen in his entire life. 

Eve felt like she was floating, like she was a balloon full of anxiety and exhaustion, and Miguel was keeping her tethered to the earth. When she looked up at him and into those deep, deep brown eyes, it was like she could feel herself coming back to her body, could feel Miguel chasing away the doubts and uncertainties and replacing them with his support and comfort. 

 “You need to get some rest,” he said softly, “Some sleep will do you some good. You can stay here; you know you can.”

She nodded, his hand was still on her cheek, and she put her hand over his. “Thanks, Miguel.”

“Yeah,” he licked his lips, and her eyes eagerly followed the motion, “of course...” He leaned closer, and she swayed forward a bit.

“Papa Miguel,” Letty’s little voice broke the pair apart. She stood in the doorway, her stuffed bunny under her arm, wearing footed pajamas. “Papi and me fell asleep on the couch, and he’s too big for me to carry. Can you help me?” She paused, rubbing her sleepy eyes with her little fist. “Are you sad, Ms. Eve?”

Eve laughed, wiping under her eyes for any stray tears. “No, sweetheart, I’m just tired. Like your Daddy.”

“You need me to help wake your Papi up?” Miguel asked, going over to Letty and picking her up.

“Papi snores when he doesn’t sleep at home with me and Mommy,” Letty reported as Miguel carried her away. He turned for a moment, and he and Eve locked eyes. 

And then he was gone.

Plus One

It had been hard for Miguel to control his lustful feelings for Eve before they were a couple, but now that they were? 

It was damn near impossible.

Which is why she was currently on his desk, her legs wrapped around his waist, her mouth connected to his. There were papers and files on the floor, but Miguel didn’t care. The only thing he cared about was keeping her close to him. 

Eve’s hands were on his chest, and he growled into her mouth when she ripped his shirt open, the buttons flying as Miguel lowered his head and lightly bit into her neck. 

“Miguel...” She sighed out, and the sound of her voice, so full of desire and so damn sexy, made him weak. He slid his hand between her legs, separating her thighs as he licked her neck, and Miguel groaned again when he felt her hands unbuckling his belt. 

And then the door opened.

And then the cheering started. 

“Yoooooo! It’s about damn time!” Angel clapped. “I mean, Eve, love, you could do better, but still!”

“I knew it!” Spooky grinned. “I called it, I fucking called it!”

“Ay, I’m happy for you and everything, but we gotta set some ground rules or something,” Coco groaned.

“Yeah, Miguel, tie a sock on the doorknob or something next time,” Rio said with a smirk, “This is a home, not a frat house, man.”

“Oh my God, I gotta tell Toni,” Didi giggled, taking her phone out and snapping a quick picture, “You two look so good together!”

“Jesus...” Miguel murmured. “Okay, you guys have had your dramatic little showing, now leave.”

“He said, lovingly,” Rio said, already walking off, “Cleo is gonna lose her shit over this.”

“They got together faster than I expected,” Didi said cheerfully as she followed her brother out.

“Nah, he was all nervous she’d never wanna talk to him again after he almost fired her,” Spooky added, “This was the obvious next step.”

Miguel dropped his head into the crook of Eve’s neck, sighing as he--finally--heard the door slam behind them. Eve giggled, kissing the top of his head as she ran her fingers through his hair. He stood up, smiling softly at the woman he loved. “So...” he said, kissing the side of her mouth where her smile started.

“...should we put a sock on the door?”

*******************************************************************************************

Writing this took me SO long because I keep getting distracted by these Netlfix movies. Writing this also made me want to do a ficlet of smut for all the characters.....would anyone wanna read that, per chance? Let me know! :)

[hanji-zoe103]

Happy Easter!!

           “Levi!” Hanji called.

           “What?” Levi replied.

           “It’s Easter! We should do something!” Hanji said.

           “Why? It’s a holiday for children,” Levi replied.

           He did have a point.  Easter, was mainly for hiding candy filled eggs for children to find. What were two grown ass adults going to do?

           “Well we could have our own egg hunt or make Easter baskets!” Hanji said.

           “I’m not too big a fan of sweets,” Levi replied.

           Hanji flopped on his lap.

           “You’re no fun!” she whined.

           “We aren’t children idiot,” Levi replied.

           Hanji pouted and had little tears in her eyes.

           “Okay! Fine!” Levi said.

           “What do you want to do?”

           “Well, let’s get a basket of candy and then we can cuddle on the couch and watch a movie!” Hanji replied.

           “….All right,” Levi said.

           “But LIMIT your sugar intake.”

           “Come on! It’s one of the few days where I can splurge on eating candy or chocolate!” Hanji whined.

           “Okay, okay!” Levi said.

           “But only for today.”

           “Yahoooo!” Hanji exclaimed.

           Levi smiled slightly.  He liked seeing her happy.  Hanji grabbed her jacket and purse.

           “Where are you going? I thought we had Easter fun to do?” Levi asked.

           “I need to get some Easter candy and chocolate bunnies and baskets!” Hanji said.

           “I’ll be back before you know it!”

           Levi looked in the freezer.

           “While you’re there, can you pick up some strawberry cheesecake ice cream?” he asked.

           Hanji blinked and stared at him.

           “You like THAT flavor of ice cream?” she asked rather surprised.

           “Yes,” Levi replied.

           “That’s interesting…” Hanji muttered.

           “What are you mumbling about?” Levi said.

           “Just never took you for a strawberry cheesecake type person, especially in ice cream,” Hanji replied.

           “I bought it on a whim thinking that it was a weird flavor you might like,” Levi said.

           “It was like 3AM one night and I had a craving for something sweet, yet the only thing we had was that ice cream. Figured might as well try it and turned out it wasn’t terrible. I still prefer a more simple one but if we’re going to have a movie night, thought we could have that ice cream.”

           Hanji kissed his cheek.

           “You’re too cute,” she said.

           “Tch, I’m not cute.” Levi grumbled, his cheeks a bit red.

           “You are to me,” Hanji replied.

           “I’ll be back soon!”

           She grabbed her car keys and headed out.  Levi made some tea and sat at the table.

----------

           Hanji walked about the store gathering what she needed.  Her basket was full of sweet goodies, two Easter baskets, and a card for Levi.  She headed over to the frozen section.  Hanji carefully scanned the ice cream section but there was hardly any left.

           “Excuse me,” she called to a worker.

           “How can I help miss?” they asked.

           “Well, I was looking for a strawberry cheesecake ice cream but I don’t see it. Do you have any by chance?” Hanji replied.

           “Ah, sorry. Our freezer had a malfunction yesterday and we had to throw out almost all of our products due to them thawing,” the worker said.

           “We’ll be fully stocked by next week though.”

           “Ah, I see, well thank you,” Hanji replied.

           She started to go towards checkout.

----------

           Levi was reading a book when his phone rang.

           “Hello,” he answered.

           “Hey Levi!” Hanji replied.

           “Everything all right?” Levi asked.

           Hanji didn’t call him too often so it worried him a bit.

           “Yes, I’m fine,” Hanji replied.

           “Just calling to let you know that the store is all out of the ice cream you wanted.”

           “No worries, I’ll just go get it,” Levi said.

           “I can go to another store, I’m already out,” Hanji replied.

           “No, it’s all right, gives me a chance to stretch my legs,” Levi said.

           “If you’re sure you want to,” Hanji replied.

           “Yeah I’ll get it,” Levi said.

           “All right, see you at home later,” Hanji replied.

           “See you at home,” Levi said.

           He hung up and got ready to leave.  Levi wanted to get Hanji a card and some flowers as well. He locked the house and headed out.

----------

           Hanji stood in line, ready to get home.  She hoped to set up before Levi got back.  She felt a tap on her shoulder.

           “Excuse me, but you dropped this,” a male said.

           Hanji turned around.  Behind her was a very tall and slim man who appeared to be well-built. He had short, coarse-looking dark hair that reached to his neck and a thin beard along his jawline. He looked to be a middle-aged man with wrinkles around his eyes, which were small and piercing. The man was wearing a simple white shirt with a black tie that wasn’t fully done up, and a large black overcoat that reached past his knees. He also had a bowler hat with a white band around it. His expression was weird, a scowl but he wasn’t talking as if he was annoyed.

           “Oh, uh thanks,” Hanji replied.

           She took the box of candy eggs from him.

           “Shopping for someone special?” the man asked.

           “My boyfriend and I are having a little Easter party tonight,” Hanji replied.

           “Sounds fun,” the man replied.

           “Well I hope you have a wonderful evening.”

           He tipped his hat to her and walked off.

           “Weird…” Hanji thought.

           She got checked-out, paid and left.  Hanji didn’t notice the shadow that followed her.  She drove home and parked, glad to see that Levi was still out.  She gathered all the bags and headed inside.  Hanji tapped the door with her foot to close it; before it closed the shadow following her slipped in.  

           “Phew! Heavier load than I anticipated,” Hanji said.

           She put away all the groceries and got her Easter baskets all ready to go.  Her card for Levi and a special tea placed right in the front of his basket.

           “Well that outta make a fine Easter basket but I got a better idea for a gift,” came a male voice.

           Hanji spun around.  Leaning casually against the wall was the man from the store.

           “Who the heck are you?! How did you get into my house?!” Hanji demanded.

           “Heh surprised Levi hasn’t mentioned me yet,” the man replied, casually walking towards her.

           “Name’s Kenny, I’m his uncle. Also, it would be wise to make sure you’re not followed into your home while walking in.”

           Hanji grabbed her phone and called Levi.  Kenny grabbed it from her.

           “Now, now, I don’t want ya’ ruining his surprise missy,” he said.

           “Let go!” Hanji exclaimed.

           “Calm yer’ yelling! I ain’t gonna do nothing bad,” Kenny said.

           “You broke into my house and now are holding me captive!” Hanji replied.

           “Broke into your house yes, the captive part, no!” Kenny said.

           “All I’m doing is dressing ya’ up for your boyfriend.”

----------

           “Hanji, I’m home,” Levi said walking inside.

           He heard a thud and running footsteps.

           “Hanji?” Levi said.

           He put the bag of ice cream and other items on the counter.  More noises came from the living room.

           “Hanji what’s going on?” Levi asked as he headed over there.

           “D-don’t come in here!” Hanji replied.

           Levi continued on in.  Right as he walked in, Hanji was running about trying to find a place to hide.

           “D-don’t look! It’s embarrassing!” she exclaimed.

           Levi froze dead in his steps.  There she was, standing in the middle of the room in a bunny suit, ears, tail, black stockings and black heels.  This wasn’t your average idea of a bunny suit; this was a full on Playboy-esque bunny suit.  Purple velvet for the main torso part, white and pale pink on the ears, the tail was white as well.  

           “What happened?” Levi asked.

           “S-some creep came in here and forcibly dressed me in this! Then dumped all my clothes in the mud so I had nothing to change into!” Hanji replied.

           “WHO was in our house?” Levi said.

           “Said his name was Kenny, your uncle…” Hanji replied, doing her best to try and cover herself.

           “That pervert tch.” Levi grumbled.

           “C-can you not look?” Hanji asked her face red.

           “Hang here for a minute,” Levi replied.

           He left.  Several minutes later he came back.  Hanji blinked looked at him.

           “Levi…what the…” she stammered.

           Levi had come back in wearing a grey bunny kigurumi. He didn’t feel all that “manly” in it but he figured if Hanji was embarrassed, he would be as well.

           “Well it’s Easter s-so we should both be in a bunny suit of sorts,” Levi said.

           Hanji laughed a bit.

           “You look ridiculous and I want you to wear that all the time!” she said with a grin.

           “No, only tonight,” Levi replied.

           “Awww,” Hanji pouted.

           “Okay, maybe I’ll get a variety of them and wear them on special occasions,” Levi replied.

           “But only if you wear this for me more often.”

           He smirked and Hanji blushed even more.

           “W-well I suppose it’s a fair deal,” she replied.

           “Good, we have ourselves a deal then,” Levi said.

           “Now…”

           He walked back to the kitchen and returned shortly after.

           “Go change into this, I think you’ll find it more comfortable and you can borrow a pair of my boxers until I get your clothes cleaned up,” Levi said.

           He handed her a purple bunny kigurumi.

           “Awww you got one for me?” Hanji said taking it.

           “Well I didn’t expect you to be dressed in thatwhen I got home and I thought I’d give you some extra Easter fun by having us wear these,” Levi replied.

           “You’re seriously the best Levi!” Hanji said hugging him.

           “Only for you,” Levi replied.

           “Now go get changed and we can start our mini celebration.”

           Hanji ran off and came back shortly after.

           “I’m ready!” she said.

           Levi smiled.  He walked to her, pulled her head down and kissed her.

           “Happy Easter Hanji,” Levi said.

           She kissed him back.

           “Happy Easter Levi,” Hanji said.

           They got their baskets, ice cream and cards.  Levi and Hanji had a lovely night watching fun movies, eating all the sweets they could and cuddling on the couch.  They eventually ended  up all snuggled together, sound asleep on the couch.

                              HAPPY EASTER from LEVIHAN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@levihanweek Here’s my gift! I hope my giftee likes it :3 

[franklyshipping]

Day 3 ~ Christmas 2019 Ego Fanfics

Day 3 here we frickin come people! I hope you're al hungry because now it is time for the all important...Christmas food shopping! LET'S DO IT!

TAGGING: @goog-ler-iplier

Food, glorious food…writing this part is going to make me hungry, I know it. Just thinking about documenting people buying turkey, chicken, bacon, sausages, pigs-in-blankets, beef, eggs, cubes, mince and steaks of meat substitute, potato starch based egg substitute, roasting and baking potatoes, carrots, parsnips, garlic, onions, sprouts, leeks, celery, spinach, spring onions, bell peppers, tomatoes, heavy cream, semi-skimmed and full fat milks, lacto-free milks, almond milk, soya milk, butter, vegan butter, regular and gluten free loaves, baguettes, wraps and flat breads, chicken and beef stocks, sage, thyme, basil, lemons, limes, satsumas, grapes, walnuts, fennel seeds, cumin, vinegar, star anise, salt, black pepper, oils, black and glace cherries, raisins, dates, apples, cranberries, gooseberries, blackberries, redcurrants, figs, cinnamon powder and sticks, nutmeg, ginger, a multitude of flours and sugars, baking powder and soda, inhuman amounts of chocolate and sweets, whipped cream, savoury snacks like crisps, peanuts, cashews, pretzels, crackers, breadsticks, cheeses and pickles, popcorn, candy floss…and then huge amounts of ice cream….is gonna make me hungry.

Then there’s the whole beverage side of things. There are bottles and cans of fizzy sodas, lemonade, ginger ale, ginger beer, tonic water, elderflower presse, apple juice, orange juice, cranberry juice, instant coffee, coffee machine capsules, earl grey tea, peppermint tea, loose leaf tea, generally festive tea, hot chocolate mixes, egg nog, white wine, red wine, rose wine, port, champagne, whiskey, gin, rum, cream liqueur, cans and bottles of beer, vodka….and sparkling water. Damn…it’s a lot. Undoubtedly you’d need somebody with something like a computer for a memory to memorise all of that, purchase it and bring it home in an efficient manner; thank heck for Googleplier. He was on the mission for consumables, along with his VERY excited boyfriend Blankgameplays.

Now, when it came to public places Blank could often get very anxious and uncomfortable…but not this time. On this occasion, not only did he have his sweet blue Google with him, but he also had a task to undertake, a task he’d been looking forward to ever since he’d volunteered to help Google with it. Blank loved shopping, and he also loved Google, so really this was his idea of the perfect morning. He, of course, was in charge of the steadily filling trolley…and was being a tad cheeky with it.

‘Blank! Get back here! You’ll crash the darned thing!’

Google whisper-shouted as he speed-walked down the aisle after his boyfriend, who was giggling as he half-rode the trolley down the aisle, giddily taunting.

‘Cahan’t catch meee can’t catch meheee!’

Google let out a growl under his breath as he sped up into a jog, and Blank’s eyes widened as he let out a surprised squeak when he found that Google had wrapped his arms around him from behind and brought him to a halt.

‘Are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?’

Blank giggled and nibbled his bottom lip at the sound of his boyfriend’s low growl in his ear. Blank turned around so he could face Google, and stood on his tip-toes so he could deliver a kiss to his nose.

‘Maaaaybe.’

Google pursed his lips as he looked down at Blank…damn him with his twinkling eyes and beautiful smile, always making Google unable to truly chastise him for his cheekiness. They returned to their task, collecting more essential items and crossing them off their list….but it didn’t take long for Blank’s mischief to rear its adorable head once more. This time, he was putting things in the trolley that they didn’t require.

‘My love…we do not need paper plates with pink pigs on them.’

‘Awwww c’mooon! Look at them they’re so cute!’

Blank stuck out his bottom lip dramatically, whining when Google put them back on their respective shelf. Google got close to Blank, whispering with a light, playful glare in place.

‘If you put anything else in the trolley that is not on our set list then I shall, with immediate effect, take away your trolley pushing privileges.’

Blank stuck his lip out even more and tried to engage in his puppy eyes, but Google’s glare merely hardened, so Blank submitted….for a little while at least. The rest of the shopping went remarkably smoothly, Blank was giddy of course but he didn’t try to playfully disrupt the task…so Google was under the impression that he was no longer going to be cheeky amidst the shopping. Oh how he was wrong. Blank was merely biding his time, lulling Google into a false sense of security…until they reached the check-out. Then, Blank did the one thing he knew would embarrass Google immensely WITHOUT making him uncomfortable; namely, a great amount of PDA.

‘Baaaabe, can we snuggle lateeer?’

Google’s eyes widened when, just as he’d finished loading their purchasers onto the conveyer, Blank starting hanging off his arm and softly nuzzling his cheek. His face started to turn turquoise as he perceived other customers staring with grins on their faces. Google stammered, wanting to reprimand Blank, but he was getting embarrassed.

‘L-Love….n-not here….’

Blank grinned and giggled, placing a trail of soft, innocent kisses under his jaw, knowing damn well what he was doing to his adorable android. Google’s blush reached his ears as Blank cooed deftly.

‘Whaaat? I’m just showing the world how much I looove you and wanna snuggle yooou!’

Google tried to look down at Blank with a warning in his eyes, but that only made Blank grin wider, god how he loved teasing Google. Google always maintained stoicism, professionalism and perfect composure in every public situation….but Blank lived for when he was blushing and smiling and had no idea what to do with himself because of his developing emotions.

‘Sh-shhh….p-p-people a-are l-looking….’

Google tried to bow his head as he started to smile nervously, whilst Blank merely giggled fondly at him. He was caught between the embarrassment of people watching them and undoubtedly cooing about them, and the sweet enticing nature of his boyfriend’s loving affection. Google could only reason that emotions were….weird. Google gritted his teeth when Blank winked at him though, and despite how flustered he was…Google knew that he wasn’t going to let Blank get away with this. So when it came to checking out, Google packed everything without even bothering to stick to a human pace, whilst Blank continued to smugly stay close to him and relish in what he’d reduced his boyfriend to.

‘You sweeties enjoy the holidays!’

The cashier called after them with a giggle, which made Blank smirk as Google growled. As they left the store with everything bagged in the trolley, Google could feel his embarrassment diminishing…and his need to have vengeance rising. He was similarly inhuman with his speed of loading all their purchases into the car and returning the trolley, and as Blank made to go around to sit in the front passenger seat….Google gripped his forearm.

‘Get into the seat behind mine. Now.’

Blank’s overwhelming smugness….wavered, just a tad, as Blank saw the danger in his Google’s smile. Blank knew he’d been a teasy shit, and on the inside he’d known there were going to be consequences, which was kinda why he’d done it. Google’s consequences were often rather enjoyable. So, Blank decided to maintain his cheeky, boyish grin as he slipped into the back seat behind Google’s driver seat. Then, Google too got into the car, locked it….and proceeded to tint each and every window, and the front and back windscreens so that anyone walking past wouldn’t be able to see in. Blank was analysing Google’s actions with a giddy, yet nervous curiosity…he knew he was in for some kind of punishment, but as of yet he wasn’t sure of what it would entail; so of course, he asked cheekily.

‘Tinting the windows huh? Are gonna make out a little before we head home?’

Google let out a soft laugh through his nose, before cocking his head at Blank and purring.

‘As enjoyable as that sounds, you and I both know that is not what you deserve in this moment. What is going to happen now, is you are going to remove your shoes and socks, and give them to me.’

Blank’s eyes widened. This could only mean one thing, one consequence. His hands and fingers were shaking as he started to blush, not hesitating to comply with his boyfriend’s command. He wordlessly handed his sneakers and black socks over, making Google smile as he took them and set them aside.

‘Good boy, now….’

Blank watched with nervous, curious eyes as Google lifted the head rest up and off of the driver’s seat. His toes curled as Google purred, his azure eyes gleaming behind his spectacles.

‘Feet up.’

Blank complied once more, settling in the back seat as he rested his feet on the top of Google’s seat. He squeaked when Google gripped his ankles and yanked his feet forwards, and Blank hid in his hoodie when he heard Google chuckle…before putting the head rest back onto the seat. The head rest slipped back into place snugly, trapping Blank’s ankles, and leaving his bare feet vulnerable and exposed for whatever Google desired. Google hummed as he observed his boyfriend’s pale, scrunched soles fondly.

‘Do you know what I’m going to do to you?’

Blank nibbled his bottom lip, shivering as he tentatively looked to Google; he whispered meekly.

‘….t-….uh…p-punish me?’

‘Hmm….you are correct, but what is it I am punishing you for?’

Blank was about to open his mouth to answer, when he let out a surprised squeak. Google had begun tracing his soles with all his fingertips, with his eyebrow raised expectantly. Blank understood that Google was still expecting him to answer him, no matter what else was happening. Blank clapped a hand over his mouth as giggles spilled from his lips….oh this was going to be diabolical.

‘I-Ihihit’s b-behecause-ohomygohod….i-ihihit’s….’

Blank let out a light whine, he couldn’t get his words out through his goddamn giggles! Google meanwhile just kept on tracing all over his feet, relishing in the gasps and giggles that he adored so much. Blank’s mirth was utter perfection in Google’s eyes, and he took any and every opportunity to coax it out.

‘Yes dear?’

Blank squeaked and spluttered when Google lightly skittered over the balls of his feet, making Blank scrunch and tug weakly at his trapped feet.

‘P-P-Pleheheeease I-I c-cahan’t t-tahalk lihike thihihis!’

Google cocked his head at Blank softly, smiling with innocent nonchalance as he replied.

‘And yet you still are perfectly coherent. Don’t worry, you can take your time, it’s not like you’re going anywhere.’

Blank threw his head back with his loud giggles as he tugged at his feet more and more, the incessant tickling at the balls of his feet was really affecting the poor guy. Blank knew he had to do everything he could to answer Google’s questions though, it was Google’s thing whenever he tickled, he asked question after question after question like he was doing an experiment.

'Ohohogohod ohohokahay I-I wahas cheheeky!’

Blank squealed out his words as Google lightly raked his nails up and down Blank’s taut, ticklish inner arches. The android smirked, letting out a satisfied hum at his boyfriend’s adorable compliance.

‘That’s right my dear, you were cheeky….very, very cheeky…’

Blank got chills down his spine at Google’s cool, deep tone of voice, and whimpered when Google made his inner-arch tickling devilishly light.

‘Why don’t you list all of the cheeky things you did?’

Blank hit his car seat, the light sensations making him want to curl up and hide away forever as electricity coursed through his body. It took him about a minute of whimpery giggling before he managed to even think about answering, all throughout which Google observed, lovingly. Google adored how ticklish Blank was to even the lightest of touches, it was endearing, and marvellously enjoyable to exploit during moments like this.

‘I-Ihihi r-rahahan wihith the t-trohoholley!’

Google hummed, tracing the wrinkles in the centres of Blank’s scrunched soles.

‘Yes, and?’

Blank softly squealed and hid his face in his hands, his giggling becoming intermingled with soft squeaks and hiccups now; his replies were getting faster too.

‘I-I-Ihihi p-puhut stuhuhuff ihin the troholley wehe d-d-dihidn’t nehEED!’

Blank jumped and yelped when Google sneakily scratched the pad of one of his big toes, which spurred Google to softly trace over both his big toes as he purred evilly.

‘Mmmm, that was particularly cheeky of you….but what was the naughtiest thing you did, hmm?’

Blank’s face was screwed up and his eyes were squeezed shut as colour bloomed on his normally pale face, and his lips spread into a wide, embarrassed grin; the tickling was one thing, but making him talk amidst it all? That’s what made it true tickle torture for Blank.

‘IHI EHEMBARRASSED YOHOHOU!’

Blank was squealing and laughing his head off as Google took time and pleasure over scratching every single pad of every single one of Blank’s little, pale toes. This was the pinnacle of the punishment and Google was going to make sure the punishment wasn’t forgotten in a hurry.

‘Yes, you did. Despite knowing how much public displays of affection cause the human flustered emotion to rise within me, you partook in them with me anyway, for your own naughty amusement….’

Blank let out a shrill wail, tugging at his poor feet desperately as he became more and more teary eyed with every passing second.

‘IHIHI’M SAHARRY!’

Google hummed, casting his gaze over his precious, writhing boyfriend with tender amusement dancing in his eyes. He kept tickling his toes deftly as he leant towards him a tad, purring.

‘Sorry for what exactly?’

Google raised a brow amidst his query, and that teasiness on top of the tickling just brought Blank to his adorable limit.

‘EHEHEVERYTHIHING! AHAHALL OHOF IHIIIT!’

At Blank’s high-pitched wail, Google reasoned that Blank had received an adequate amount of punishment in relation to his cheekiness during their extended errand, so he had mercy. He efficiently released his boyfriend’s feet, and chuckled amusedly when Blank immediately set about bringing his legs close to his chest. Blank was giggling residually and embarrassedly into his knees, but peeked form his hiding spot when he felt a warmth settle on one of his hands.

‘Are you alright?’

Blank melted at the softness of Google’s voice, and looked to see that Google had placed one of his hands on one of his and was rubbing his knuckles tenderly. Blank wordlessly nodded with a bashful smile, and leant forward so he could kiss the android’s hand. Google chuckled fondly, and was about to suggest that make-out session that Blank had previously brought up….when they both suddenly heard a disgruntled gurgle come from the car’s cup-holders. They both looked, and Blank giggled when he saw Gooper lightly squirming.

‘Ohoops, dihidn’t see ya there bud…’

Blank giggled whilst Gooper gurgled once more, this time for a tad longer. Google hummed as he listened to the slightly drowsy creature, before smiling to his boyfriend in amusement.

‘It seems he is displeased at being so roughly awoken from his naptime, but he is happy to take your socks as compensation. He wants to snuggle them.’

Blank spluttered and let out a snort, before picking up his socks and softly tucking them into the cup-holders with Gooper, who purred in thanks before settling down in the new warmth to resume his nap. Meanwhile, the make-out session was put on hold….for the half an hour it took for them to get back home, deposit their purchases, and for Google to carry his cute, barefoot human to their privacy.

WOOOO DAY NUMBER 3 COMPLETE, LEMME KNOW IF YOU GUYS ENJOYED IT WOOO LYV YOUS XX

[starrrbitz-movedtonewblog]

Fan Slimes In Ya Face!!

Long Post Warning!!

(Click for better resolution!)

Puppy Slime

Diet: Meat

Favourite: Lucky Hen

Slimeology: Puppies have many similarities to their domesticated cousins on Earth, including their boundless energy and waggy tails. They truly are a rancher's best friend!

Rancher Risks: There are no serious risks that a rancher will face, other than them randomly chasing Tabby Slimes around playfully, which can ensue a bit chaos.

_____

Bunny Slime

Diet: Veggie

Favourite: Squared Carrot

Slimeology: Shy little puffballs with incredible speed, scientists describe this slime as the grazers of the Slime world. Soft and sweet, they send many slime enthusiasts into fits of "aaww"s.

Rancher Risks: Bunny Slimes need to be kept in corrals with high walls/air nets to keep them from escaping. Plort Collectors are a must, as Bunnies produce more Plorts than any other slime, due to their "multiplying" nature.

_____

Grizzly Slime

Diet: Fruit

Favourite: Wilden Berries

Slimeology: The softest wild slime you'll ever come across. Trotting through the thickets of woods on the Far, Far Range, and looking for many sunny areas to relax and have naps.

Rancher Risks: If not well fed, Grizzly Slimes can become agitated and even turn feral if left long enough, so it's best keep auto feeders stocked well.

_____

Cloud Slime

Diet: Veggie

Favourite: Spring Beans

Slimeology: Slime scientists are truly fascinated by this wonder of nature. Cloud Slimes represent a side of nature that is capable of mesmerising others or causing havoc with their many moods in weather patterns.

Rancher Risks: Clouds can be unpredictable, as they can weather shift into terrible lightning storms if that can cause send other Slimes into a panic. They can also be easily blown away by strong winds, so keep an eye on them!

_____

Koi Slime

Diet: Fruit

Favourite: Ocean Peach

Slimeology: The beautiful coral blobs of the ponds, Koi Slimes are part of a tranquil and serene side of the Far, Far Range that remind us that it's okay to slow down and meditate a bit.

Rancher Risks: Koi Slimes are one of the easier slimes to care for, as the only precaution that needs to be taken is that they need to be kept in a pond at all times.

_____

Ninetails Slime

Diet: Meat

Favourite: Zen Hen

Slimeology: A true mystery in the slime world that glides through the Marsh, playfully running through bushes and tackling passing slimes and ranchers, Ninetails Slimes are full of, mischief and wonder, and supernatural powers.

Rancher Risks: Ninetails Slimes are incredibly mischievous and sneaky, so if not given enough care, their curious nature kicks in, and they will try to escape the corral and explore the ranch.

_____

Ice-Cream Slime

Diet: Candy

Favourite: Banana Boomerang Candy

Slimeology: One of the strangest and sweetest experiments of slime science that can truly exist, Ice-Cream Slimes are a result of slime science in mutation with sugars and sea slime, and living in the frosty tundra if the Saccharine Valleys.

Rancher Risks: Ice-Cream Slimes are incredibly delicate, especially to light and heat, so they need to be kept in a dark area with a deep freezer to stop them from melting.

_____

Popcorn Slime

Diet: Candy

Favourite: Salted Caramel Truffles

Slimeology: Buttery, warm and bouncy! These little kernel buddies love hopping around and bringing cheer. They are a result of slime science mutation, combining sea slime, butter and giant corn, giving them their savoury scent.

Rancher Risks: Because of their delicious buttery fragrance, Popcorn Slimes create some of the most delicious Plorts to slimes. And you know that more Plorts, means more Largos, and eventually, anyway, they jump a lot, get an air net.

_____

Cookie Dough Slime

Diet: Candy

Favourite: Chocolate Shimmer Star

Slimeology: If any slime knows anything about sleep and comfort, it's the Cookie Dough Slime. Through mutations of sea slime, chocolate and cookie batter, they are always able to help a rancher after a not so great day.

Rancher Risks: One of the easier slimes to care for, as they always fall asleep, sometimes in ridiculous places. Because of this, they can't realise when Tarrs are causing a ruckus.

_____

Phantom Slime

Diet: Veggie

Favourite: Wisp Corn

Slimeology: Spooky scary phantom slimes! You'll feel chills when you come across this lost little spirit. Some say Phantom Slimes are the results of slimes that didn't make through the slime sea, but they remain a mystery to this day.

Rancher Risks: Phantoms are capable of phasing through corrals, so an ectoplasm shield is a necessity. They can also "haunt" certain objects around them, including toys and even produce.

_____

Vampire Slime

Diet: Fruit

Favourite: Clotty Nectarine

Slimeology: Angry little blobs with fangs, Vampire Slimes live in constant darkness, only coming out at night to get drinks or attack ranchers in their feral nature. Despite their rowdy behaviour, they can be some of the funniest companions ever.

Rancher Risks: Vampire Slimes can be extremely dangerous for ranchers, especially when feral, as they'll attack anything that moves, and if they are exposed to sunlight, so it's best to keep them happy, and in a dark area.

_____

Zombie Slime

Diet: Meat

Favourite: Ghost Hen

Slimeology: Zombies seem to one of the most disturbing and interesting slimes on the Far, Far Range. In addition to being a mutation from the abandoned slime centre, they seem to be half-Tarrs, hiding away from the world.

Rancher Risks: Zombie Slimes are probably the most risky and challenging slimes to care for. They are unable to mix with other slimes, require loads of food, and if not fed for a long time, they can become full blown Tarrs. So you might wanna stock up on chickens.

_____

These were a long time coming, so I hope you guys enjoy these, cause damn, fan slimes are super fun to make! 💕

I will post the sheet with all their fave foods soon! I just need to write down more notes.

(You guys have NO idea how long this took. The drawings? Those were fine! The slimepedia?? SO LONG-)

I'm gonna go sleep now cause that took forever. .. :)

[goosegoblin]

You mentioned having tips for when its too much effort to go get food ? I'm struggling a lot with that right now and I'd appreciate any advice on the topic. Have a great day!

Hi! Yes, I do in fact have tips! 

If you’re in a place where money is less of an issue, things get a lot easier. Allow yourself to spend a bit more on pre-prepared things. Yes, it’s cheaper to buy a melon and slice it than it is to buy pre-sliced melon, but if you’re going to eat the latter whereas you’d just throw out the former, then buying pre-sliced is an infinitely better idea. 

If you have a freezer, utilise it well. Stock up on frozen pizzas, ready meals, frozen meat/ potatoes/ veggies and whatever else you may want.

Batch-cooking when you have more energy is a really good idea too. There are loads of recipes online that freeze very well, so you can make six portions of curry on a good day and then keep them around for days when things are harder. 

If food is a lot of effort and good days are not predictable, avoid buying fresh things that go off. It’s just going to make you feel shitty when you have to throw it out. Get canned, frozen or dried instead. 

Remember that any food is better than no food. Try and find some easy, fairly-healthy snacks or quick meals that you can default to. Crackers and hummus or peanut butter, yoghurt with granola thrown on top, cereal, toast (bread freezes very well), bagels, instant ramen, microwave rice, pasta with jarred sauce and tinned soup are all options.

On the other hand, you can also try looking up recipes you want to make and set aside some time to cook them. I genuinely like cooking, and for me cooking a new exciting recipe with numerous steps can be a form of self-care. I play a podcast or my favourite music and focus on the steps, and at the end I get a tasty meal!

If you’re likely to forget meal times, set alarms. Setting alarms for meals is well known in the ED community as it makes meals less of an abstract thing that might occur at some point and more of a reality where you know when you need to act.

Planning in advance can help a lot. I meal plan for the week ahead using pepperplate.com and I find it really simple and useful. Often the difficulty occurs in choosing what to eat, so if I already know that I’ve removed one barrier between myself and food. If that’s too hard, try making a list of easy meals you know you like, and keep the ingredients for them in the house. That way you can look at the list when you need an idea- you can even use a random number generator to pick one (I’ve done that) if choosing is just too much.

Invite people over for meals, or try and cook with others. I’m much more likely to make a good, satisfying meal if I know I’m serving it to my boyfriend as well. 

Avoid binge/restrict cycles. Eating 4000 calories one day and barely any for the next three days is not good for your body- or for your mind, to be honest. Try and eat as consistently as you can.

Try and list foods that make you happy. Not even just foods you like, but foods that make you happy. Try and incorporate these into your day. I’m more likely to get excited for a meal if it has roast vegetables than boiled, and whilst I don’t care about new potatoes I get excited about sweet potatoes.

You can incorporate reward systems if those work for you- sticker charts or sites like Habitica. The app ‘Recovery Road’ also allows you to track meals and to add a person or clinician to view your intake and keep you accountable.

If eating feels genuinely impossible, liquid calories can help keep you going. Milkshakes, smoothies, yoghurt, soup, ice cream, milky coffees, hot chocolates, juice... I find that when my blood sugar dips I feel shaky and sick and eating feels hard, even though I know I need to. Drinking some juice helps me get to a place where I feel better and more able to eat actual food.

----

Basically, the first step is to eat Some food. Any food.

The second step is to make sure you are eating enough food.

The third step is to make sure that food constitutes the ‘right’ things.

It’s okay if you’re stuck on step one or two. Step three can feel overwhelming and exhausting, but you don’t have to jump straight from ‘I’ve been living on cereal and sweets for a week’ to ‘I had a caesar salad for lunch and I’m preparing lentil ragu for dinner’. Make your goals small and reachable. Aim for X meals. Aim for X portions of fruit/veg. And please, although I know it’s hard and I’m a massive hypocrite, make sure you’re drinking enough water. Dehydration will make everything so much worse.

I hope this helped! Feel free to ask if you want any more advice, empathy or low-effort recipes- I got ‘em all!

xxx

[2pcontinued]

A Silent Symphony

Standing at the edge of a ballroom, the beautiful golden chandelier holding many bright candles that illuminated the entire room, you watched longingly at the dance floor. How you wished to be there, waltzing the night away with a handsome stranger. Of course, you could, but lord knows you would be in a load of trouble for doing so. So for now, you simply watched. At least your uniform was cute, even if it was a but uncomfortable. A pair of black mary-janes were shown on your feet, while on your actual body you wore a black frilly dress that stopped at just below your knees, with a white band going around and cinching your waist, and short puffy sleeves that connected to the more modest version of a sweetheart neckline that was also decorated with frills. A pair of plain white stockings covered your legs. Your hair was pulled into a low bun, tied with a white ribbon, and you wore white gloves over your usual rough hands, due to the labor the master of the estate required you to do. Little did you know, a pair of eyes were watching you from afar, staring intently at your simplistic figure, with a look of interest.

Some time later, while you were escorting a guest to their designated room in the estate due to them drinking a little too much of the selection of refreshments you served during the ball, you had walked up to the third floor of the mansion to drop them off. Once you had left them in their room a drunken mess, you started to begin to go back to the party to finish the rest of your job. As you were walking back down the stone staircase, a small melody filled your ears. It was very quiet, almost nonexistent, but still prevalent enough for you to be able to hear it clearly. You stopped in your tracks for a moment, unable to choose your next course of action, yet settled on a decision mere seconds later. Nodding your head, you decided to follow the sound. You knew this land like the back of your hand, so nothing you discovered would be new to you, not to mention, you were always doing the same thing all the time every day, so a change of pace would be inviting. Your shoes clacked against the stone pavement of the stairs you were walking up, currently leading you to the second to last floor, floor five. Once you had arrived at your destination, you opened the brown wooden door at the top of the flight of stairs, and walked down the corridor slowly, making every step you made as silent as possible. The music only got louder. The wallpaper decorating the hallway was a lovely blush pink, with a small off-white stripe marking every every six inches or so of the wallpaper. The floor now had baby blue carpeting, a color you had always found to be joyous and quite adorable, the color itself expressing youth and innocence without even using a picture. Passing every door, you noticed that the music was coming from the very last door at the end of the hallway. It didn’t exactly make sense, since that room had always been vacant every time you had cleaned it, but it wouldn’t hurt to check. It’s not like you got a bad feeling from the situation anyway, because if it had, you would have stopped a long time ago. You trust your instinct with every fiber of your being, as it has never steered you wrong before.

Reaching the final door, pure white with small pink roses decorating the edges, you grabbed the brass knob, and turned it in your hand gently. Pushing the door open, a beautiful scene filled your sight. The usually ugly fading avocado green wallpaper had been replaced with a pristine white wallpaper instead, as the moon lit up every dark crevice of the room. Gold trimmings decorated the connecting area of the floor and wall, and a large white and gold rug covered part of the floor, as a shiny dark brown hardwood floor peeked from underneath the item. On the left side of the room, trays upon trays of pastries and the most delicious smelling sweets sat on top of a table with a white tablecloth, and pink roses occasionally decorated the table, completely snipped from their stems and the flowers left untouched and oddly  perfect. The finest wines and drinks stood next to the sweets on the table, along with a chocolate fountain, what you may say is arguably the best addition to any dessert table. A large window removed of it’s glass with a curved top allowed the full moon to show, it’s holy light shining upon the magnificent display before you. A man stood near this window, not very tall in height, only reaching about 5’6 at most. His back was facing you, however you could see his strawberry blonde hair glisten in the moonlight.

“Excuse me sir, I don’t think you’re allowed to be here.” You spoke, a little unease in your voice, due to the stranger standing across the room from you. He turned around, and you were able to fully take in his features.

What he lacked in height, he made up for in pure and absolute beauty. Extremely fair skin, slightly littered with freckles, as well as deep and sensitive eyes that resembled the color of sapphires when the sunlight hit them, filled your view. Thin, yet plump pink lips with a slight cupid’s bow as their shape, and a button nose that looked almost too tempting to touch with the tip of your finger. His eyebrows, slightly bushy yet well groomed, and long eyelashes framed those mesmerizing eyes of his. His face was slightly rounded, with his chin coming to a small point, his body looking a bit plump and more on the well-fed side, showing his status in society, and providing an explanation for his adorable somewhat chubby cheeks. He was wearing a soft pink waistcoat with a matching pink tailcoat, and a baby blue bow tie. A white wing-collared dress shirt was tucked into neatly pressed cream-colored pants, and he was wearing white gloves, while on his feet were white dress shoes. My god, was he gorgeous. And he was staring directly at you.

A smile graced his perfect lips, yet he didn’t expose his teeth. The music continued to play in the background.

“I’m terribly sorry, my dear, but I was hoping that I could stay a bit longer in here, if you don’t mind.” His voice had an English accent, something that charmed you further about this man.

“Actually, I don’t mind at all.’ You had no idea what you were saying, of course you minded, you could get punished for this, but something about the air around you made you change your mind. ‘I’ll leave you to it, then. Excuse me for interrupting.”

As you were about to grab the doorknob to leave again, a sharp wind passed you and you felt your freehand being grasped in another’s.

“I would actually enjoy it, if you stayed for a little while with me. I don’t like to be alone.” His hand was freezing cold, as if you were holding a cube of ice instead of the hand of another person. His voice was genuine and softened, showing that he wasn’t lying. At least you hoped he wasn’t.

Nodding your head, he didn’t let go of your hand, but instead turned you around to face him, palm touching palm, fingers intertwined. Your face burned up like the Sahara during the day.

He smiled at you, teeth barely exposed, but enough to show off some of his pearly whites. Even his teeth were perfect.

“Shall we dance?” He asked, and due to the close proximity, you could smell the faint scent of strawberry coming off of the man. You were so close, you could nearly count every single one of his individual freckles on his face. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad way to spend a lazy early morning.

“Yes, we may.” He gave you a reassuring look, then the song began to change. Wait, there was no piano or record player, so who was playing the music? You had no time to think, as he pulled you closer to him, you started to shift and turn in synchronization, one-two, one-two, feet moving together gracefully. Your dress swished all around you, and you could feel the air blowing past your face as you two moved together swiftly. It seemed as though he had you under a trance, your movements completely mimicking his, following his lead completely, not even thinking about anything else but the dance and keeping up with him. As the song began to end, he dipped you down, and you could feel his face nearing the left side of your neck, at a steady pace, slowly but surely making it’s way to the tender meat that was your flesh. Your eyes were closed softly, your head falling back, somewhat sleepy in your state, not fully conscious in a way.

Once he had gotten close enough, he began to open his mouth, and sink his teeth into your delicate skin. Close, so close he could almost taste it, which he could. Almost. Just as his fangs were about to pierce your skin, your eyes pushed themselves open, a look of anger written on your face, and you glared at him. You snapped your neck and head back up while he maneuvered his away from yours to avoid your head impacting his, and messily pushed him away from your body. The blonde looked surprised, and a little amused, to say the least. 

You lifted your leg up and attempted to kick him, yet in a flash, he was gone again, in front of the window you had found him in when you first walked through the door. Raising your fists up to protect yourself, your gaze hardened and eyebrows furrowed, as a hard frown set itself upon your features.

“Who are you, and what did you do to me, you sick man.” Your voice held no hesitation and no fear. You were ready to kick someone’s ass if need be.

The man simply giggled, and grinned at you, revealing his full set of teeth.

“My god..” You whispered to yourself, as you saw rows of fangs lined up on the sides of his mouth, the sharpness of them terrifying you to no end.

“What’s wrong, poppet? Are you surprised?’ His voice came out like velvet, yet held a dark undertone that you despised. He continued. ‘Let me introduce myself, then, to the pretty lady.”

As he said that, he jumped backwards into the window and landed slowly, floating like a feather onto the ledge, and bowed his head down to reach his waist, then lifted his head back upright. His tailcoat swished dramatically behind him. What a show-off.

“I am Oliver Kirkland, a powerful vampire! And you were supposed to be my next meal, my dear.” This part caused your eyebrows to rise and your shoulders to tense, but you stood your ground. No way in hell you were backing down now. Even if his voice got oddly high-pitched during this moment, and it aroused worry in your body.

“However, you, my love, resisted my charms at the last minute. How fun!’ He paused for effect, and lifted his right hand to his chin, stroking it thoughtfully, before he begun again. ‘I have a feeling we will meet again, dearest (Y/n), so, until then! Toodle-loo!” And with the wave of his hand, he was completely gone, as if he vanished in mid-air.

When he left, the entire room changed once more. The walls returned to it’s previous deteriorated state, the floors dusty and rickety, creaking under your body weight, and the treats gone. The room was completely silent.

“How did he know my… Where was the music coming from…” You questioned yourself aloud, knowing that you would probably never find the answers if he didn’t give you the answer. Well, this was beginning to get a bit too personal for you. Collapsing against the aforementioned nasty green wallpaper-covered wall, you sat on the floor, your knees pressed against your chest, the moonlight seeping inside from the window barely hitting the tips of of your shoes. A chill ran down your spine. You might need a drink or two to finally begin to process what had just happened.

(This is for anon! My first ever halloween event request fulfilled, so thank you for allowing me to fulfill your request, and have a lovely day!)

[nemodernmama]

Top 10 things you could be making yourself!

Along my journey to be healthier I was shocked to understand the amount of chemicals I was consuming in certain products. I was equally shocked when I discovered how flippin’ easy these items were to make myself. When it comes to making changes, I am a huge fan of little changes that make big impacts. Try these out and let me know what you think!

1) Dressings:

Dressings take no less than 30 seconds to make. Seriously, 30 seconds people!!! They can contain as little as two ingredients (oil and vinegar). Once you learn how to make one you can make a thousand variations by changing your spices and herbs. Bonus: kids love dressing!!!

My favorite dressings are creamy I must confess, and my all-time favorite is an orange ranch where you substitute the juice of an orange and some zest for the typical lemon or vinegar you find in the standard recipe. You can shake your dressings in a jar or container and they will keep in the fridge all week.

½ c mayo

1/3 c sour cream

Tblsp milk or water

S+P and garlic powder (tsp each)

2 tblsp citrus juice (orange and grapefruit are my fav, lemon and lime combo is also superb) OR vinegar (white,champagne,balsamic,apple cider sooooo many options!)

Fresh chopped herbs (pair with your citrus, parsley goes well with lemon and cilantro goes with orange. I like chive and spicy oregano too, those I would pair with a vinegar)

1 teaspoon sugar

2) Smoothies:

Number one the price of smoothies has gotten waaay outta control! Number two they are usually packed with sugar when you get them pre-prepared either at the store or at the juice bar. People say sugar is the silent killer, but I don’t think it’s so silent. I think everyone just doesn’t want to hear it. Well good news people this one is also prepared in about 60-90 seconds depending on what you throw in your blender. Even better news, you can pretty much throw anything in there! Here is my family’s favorite recipe:

Two cups frozen fruit (WF organic fruit medley 2lb. bag)

One can coconut milk  

Bunch of greens (usually spinach or kale)

½ c fruit juice (usually pineapple or pineapple cranberry)

Banana

Any fresh berries on hand or frozen (blueberry, raspberries have seeds and my kids don’t love it)

3) Popcorn:

So apparently eating microwaved popcorn is one of the worst ideas a person ever had. Having a lot to do with the butter topping and electromagnetic exposure, tasty! But popping your own popcorn is so simple your kids could do it and it takes just minutes. You don’t need any special equipment, just a stock pot with a lid. You add your oil (we use vegetable) and your popcorn kernels and cover placing over medium high heat.  Shaking occasionally until you hear it stop popping. Let sit at least 60 seconds before removing top. You can add sooooo many toppings, some of our family favorites:

-Melted chocolate with sea salt

-butter salt and sugar

-salt pepper and white vinegar

-salt and parmesan cheese (not shake on, grated from a block)

I would love to hear what you try!!

4) Cheese sauce:

Who’s kids don’t looooove Mac n’ Cheese?! My kids request it daily. What if I told you, you could make it from scratch in the same amount of time as the boxed version? I confess I use the box from time to time. But as my kids get older and my boys are eating enough for grown 200 lb. men I had to start questioning what I was doing. Cooking 4 boxes of mac n cheese for one meal seemed excessive, even for me! Once you learn this sauce you can use it to make so many wonderful things! Chicken broccoli alfredo, vegetables with cheese sauce like loaded baked potato, baked mac n cheese, pretzels with cheese dip! I just love cheese 😊

 2 tblsp butter

2 tblsp flour

Seasoning (S+P, dry mustard, about ½ tblsp each)

1-1   ½ c milk or half n half

1-2   1 cup grated cheese (cheddar, gruyere,parmesan,any kind you like!)

Melt butter over medium heat, add flour and whisk about 60 seconds. Add milk and seasoning continue whisking, bring up heat a bit. Whisk until thickened, about 2-3 min. remove from heat and add cheese.

5)  Bread Crumbs:

How many times have you thrown away stale bread? The best meatloaf’s, meatballs, and breadcrumbs come from these leftovers that normally would be tossed. All you have to do is keep a brown bag in your kitchen drawer and throw your unused bread pieces into it. When you need bread crumbs simply pulse for 15-20 seconds in a food processor. You can mix with herbs and spices to flavor your crumbs. My favorite is S+P, garlic powder, parsley and lemon zest. For meatloaf or meatball soak bread in milk until you can crush with your fingers, add to your mixture for the moistest results.

 6) Croutons:

If you catch your bread before it’s gone dry but not quite fresh it is perfect for croutons!!! Just cube and toss with Olive Oil and seasoning (I use S+P, garlic powder, parsley and shake on Parmesan cheese) and cook in 375 preheated oven for about 8-10 min. until golden, tossing occasionally.

7)      Whipped cream:

Whipped cream is ONE ingredient, heavy cream. You need a bowl and a whisk and the cream needs to be cold. You whip until fluffy. My kids love love love to make whipped cream. I add a tsp. of sugar and dash of vanilla when I want sweet cream.

8)      Fruit syrup:

I give my kids plain milk and almond milk but sometimes I make flavored milk and above and beyond their favorite is strawberry. Once you have learned to make strawberry syrup you can add it to milk, serve over yogurt or ice cream, make a milkshake or use it to sweeten a smoothie or bowl of oatmeal. Just like all the rest it could not be easier!!

1 carton strawberries, greens removed (can substitute any fruit, larger fruits need to be chopped)

½-1 c sugar (I find one cup to be way too sweet but if you are just lessening your intake you may need to start there and then cut back)

1 cup H2O

Optional:

Zest of citrus (I always use Orange, it is just my favorite 😊)

Put in sauce pot over medium/low heat and bring to a simmer. Let simmer until it reduces and becomes syrupy, about 8 min. for strawberries, longer for larger fruits.

My family’s favorite syrups:

Figs (cut in ½), orange (you use peel, talk about multipurpose!), peach (skin off, sliced) and blueberry (I pass thru sieve)

9) Salsa:

I love salsa!! It is so good with well just about everything! I am not talking about that soupy stuff from a jar. I am talking about cilantro bursts and bright refreshing lime followed by heat from the jalapeno on the back of your tongue. I am talking guacamole for daysssss. It is just a handful of ingredients thrown into the food processor and pulse. Once you have the basics you can go nuts changing out the ingredients always having a super FRESH, RAW topping on hand.

             Two tomatoes, rough chop

             Spicy pepper like jalapeno, rough chop

             Cilantro bunch

             Juice of one lime

             S+P and garlic powder

             *MMH: Taste your spicy pepper before adding to the mix to gauge heat level. Much like women peppers level of spice can vary greatly from one to another even though they look exactly alike on the outside😊

10)   Memories!!!

The most important part of all of this is your relationship with food and your family’s relationship with food. When I stop to take the 10 minutes to prepare these items listed my kids inevitably end up at my feet and a memory is imprinted.

My hope is that just one person tries something new because of this post!  

XOXOXO

MK

[kriskebob-blog]

Day 1, Part 1: Me vs. the grocery store

Hi again. It was really nice to hear from some of my friends and family in response to my post last night! I’m really excited to know that some people are down to read my long-ass posts about plants. I’ve also had several people offer me cookbook suggestions or even offer to have me plunder their own stash. Thanks for being my enablers, guys! (No seriously, thank you, I love you all sm.) Also, I can now reveal that my grandma texted me this morning to confirm she did indeed read my first post to its end. She’s the best!!!! This blog is rapidly evolving into a dual-purpose food/my grandma fan page and I can’t be sorry for it. 

So it’s Friday afternoon as I write this but the day I’ll be writing about is actually Wednesday. Can you tell it took me a little while to get going with the actual blogging part of this project? Anywho, I woke up Wednesday and after taking some time to wake up with a coffee, I flipped open my shiny new How Not to Die cookbook to the pages with the 2-week meal plan. I scanned the lists of recipes, already nervous. There were so many listed for every single day. I’m used to preparing dinner each night and eating leftovers for my lunches. For years my tried-and-true breakfast almost every single day has been two hard-boiled eggs and a piece of toast. So I’m really only used to having to prepare a fully involved meal once a day. You wanted to do this, I reminded myself. You have the summer off. You have the time! Trying to calm my nerves, I opened up the notes app on my laptop and began typing the names of the suggested recipes. There are no page numbers referenced on the meal plan pages, which would have made things a lot easier, just sayin’, Dr. Greger! I found the recipes and opened the grocery list Google Doc I’ve shared with my husband since we moved in together. I started typing up a shopping list. 

This was more than 48 hours ago at this point, but luckily I did stop to write down some initial thoughts. I shall share them with you now, verbatim: 

How the f@#! am I going to buy everything we need for all this? How will it fit in my fridge? Will I spend literally all day prepping all of this? Am I even going to be able to find everything I need for these recipes? 

...

16 recipes compared to my normal 4, MAYBE 5. Eating this way is obviously the vanity project of the wealthy wtf

...

It’s only two weeks. I can spend 2374623645 dollars on food for just half a month right? right?? It’s normal to spend money on hobbies? Gah

...

What the hell is date sugar?

...

I am definitely using vanilla extract instead of buying a giant vanilla bean Fresh turmeric? Where would even sell that? Ground sounds just fine to me

I noted that I began this process at 8:55. At 9:21 I wrote:

I give up… because I can already tell I’m going to be buying WAY too much produce to fit into my crisper drawer. The original plan had been to stock up enough stuff to carry me through until Monday but I can see now that’s just not going to be realistic at all. I’ll stock up on enough stuff to get me through to Friday night. I don’t want to grocery shop on the weekend if I can help it. I’ll just go again on Friday. Then I’ll probably have to go again on Monday, maybe Tuesday if I’m lucky. That’ll be three grocery store stock-ups in one week. I wanted a hobby, didn’t I?? Time to go back and redo my list to only reflect recipes for the next three days then.

I put a break in my recipes list. Alright. That brings me from 16 recipes to 8. Feels much more manageable. I look at the huge list of ingredients I amassed on my Google doc and decide it’d be easier to just delete it and restart from scratch than go through and try to remember what I now do and don’t need. 9:30.

9:45 - done. Still a LONG list. This is only for 2 days plus a dinner. But to be fair I did include stuff for a couple of desserts.

I’m a tad concerned by how none of these recipes call for ANY salt.

I was more than a tad concerned, actually. But I had my mission lined out. It was time to head to Big Y. 

Of the common local grocery store chains in Connecticut, Big Y is probably the nicest one. My husband and I used to frequent Stop & Shop but we stopped because the produce kind of sucked and anyhow the set-up of Big Y is a lot more appealing. I drove on over to the Ellington Big Y, hopeful that I’d be able to find the majority of the items I needed, but also aware that I’d probably end up at Whole Foods later that day. 

I’d been so focused on getting together my massive shopping list and hustling out to the store that I hadn’t attended to my basic personal needs with as much care as usual. I realized two things almost immediately as I crossed the parking lot: I kinda had to pee, and I was also sort of thirsty/hungry. Should I get a lemonade or something from the cafe? I wondered briefly then decided against it. I’d be fine til I got home, surely. 

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in the produce section. I bagged up two heads of lettuce and an even bigger head of red kale. I bought the biggest container of baby spinach they had and then also the biggest bag of regular spinach. Cilantro and parsley. Scallions. And that was just from the greens section! I was already tired by the time I got to the natural foods section, and I had only shopped for stuff whose location I already knew. 

I spent some time figuring out which seeds/nuts I needed that Big Y sold by the weight. It’s a really convenient and cool system, except the stupid sticker-printing machine is sort of finicky. I must have spent a solid ten minutes before I had the correct amount of almonds, cashews, pumpkin seeds, etc. Okay. Now I needed to look for some stuff that I genuinely had no idea where exactly it might be. I knew they likely were somewhere in this natural foods section, I just didn’t know where. Stuff like hemp hearts and nutritional yeast (sounded gross but it was called for in quite a few recipes). I found them eventually. Cool. Now I needed canned tomatoes and beans, but Dr. Gregor really wanted me to be sure I bought cans without a BPA liner. Seriously? Was that really going to be the thing that would make or break if I lived to see 100? But I didn’t want to half-ass the Dr. Gregor lifestyle. It was only for two weeks, after all. After way too much time studying the shelves of tomatoes and beans, I ended up with two cans of diced tomato that cost twice as much as the brand I normally purchased... and the same exact generic brand of beans I normally went for, because none of the beans at Big Y seemed to be BPA free. Whatever. I was hungrier and grumpier by the minute. I wanted to stuff something into my mouth full of sugar and gluten and whatever other chemicals were out to kill me, stat. Almost done. Just had to find frozen okra (vegan gumbo, y’all! Stay tuned), and also miso. I wasn’t too worried about the miso. Big Y has a decent Asian foods aisle... one that I paced up and down at least four times before accepting that they didn’t seem to have miso. They also didn’t have date sugar, a key ingredient to a no-bake brownies recipe I wanted to try. I have a major sweet tooth (can you tell?) and the idea of two weeks without chocolate bars or ice cream was something I refused to entertain without some sort of chocolate dessert option. Okay. No miso, no date sugar. I also hadn’t been able to find “whole wheat tortillas - no salt added” anywhere in the store. So, I’d be going to Whole Foods. I had figured as much. 

I checked out with a whopper of a bill and tried not to die too much inside at the fact that this was only two and a half day’s worth of groceries. After all, I had needed to stock up on several crunchy hippie type pantry items I hadn’t already owned. Thank god I already had a pretty sizable spice collection or my bill would have been even higher. I tried not to think of how this wasn’t even everything on my list. Not only did I still need to go to Whole Foods, but I needed to go to the farm stand. 

Shout-out to Johnny Appleseed’s Farm in Ellington. Sam and I love them, and they love us back! Okay, they love Sam back because he told them once that he had gone onto Google and fixed an incorrect listing stating they were permanently closed. They really love Sam for that. They have no idea who I am unless I walk in with him. But that’s okay. Every late July through October, Sam and I buy as much of our produce as possible from Johnny Appleseed’s. I stopped over there to load up on tomatoes, onions, peppers, carrots, and an ungodly amount of zucchini. The woman ringing me out seemed amused. “Lots of squash,” she commented. “What’re you cooking?” I stared at her, trying to remember. The recipe planning I’d done only a couple hours ago already seemed such a blur. “Zoodles,” I managed finally. “You know, like when you try to pretend you’re eating pasta but it’s actually vegetables?” She chuckled and nodded. “You make your own sauce from scratch too?” “Usually,” I told her, feeling a sudden pang of longing for a nice meaty bolognese. Wow, I really wasn’t going to be cut out for this meatless life for long. I told her goodbye and got into my car. It was sweltering outside and 10x worse inside my black interior car. I now definitely needed to pee and I was starving. Home couldn’t come fast enough. 

Of course, before I could eat my lunch I had to go through the battle of trying to fit all of this produce into my refrigerator. Even with the clearing out of the usual cartons of eggs and older produce that I’d tossed earlier that morning, it was definitely a game of Tetris trying to fit all of the extremely perishable items I’d just purchased into my fridge. I didn’t even entertain the thought of trying to fit all the vegetables in the crisper. Just to fit them in the fridge itself was an accomplishment. Thank god I hadn’t been quite stupid enough to try to buy enough groceries to last us through Monday. Dear lord, I was really going to have to go back in two days and do this again? You chose this, you chose this I sang to myself repeatedly in my head as I grabbed the container of my last non-vegan meal for two weeks: zucchini turkey meatballs, romano cheese, and marinara sauce over spaghetti. It was damned good. This is still healthy, isn’t it? Do I definitely have to give up cheese, Dr. Gregor? 

Now came the time for my final real dessert of the next two weeks. Something I end up binging on far too often when Sam leaves me at home unsupervised for too long: Aurora honey nut granola with chocolate chips mixed in. It’s so good!!! And I definitely went especially overboard that day knowing it was my last sugar binge for awhile. 

Alright. It was time to head to Whole Foods. The closest one to me is in Glastonbury and a solid 25 minute drive away. The air felt heavy and oppressive as I headed out into the heat. Ominous dark clouds hung low in the sky. I could feel the nasty air pressure in the depths of my sinuses. Blah. Almost done, I told myself. The parking lot at Whole Foods was mobbed. Why are so many people out on a random Wednesday afternoon, I grumped to myself as I narrowly avoided running over a perfectly nice young family (sorry, strangers!!) and found myself a spot. I walked inside and immediately started rubbing my arms up and down. It was freezing. One thing I love about Big Y is that they keep a lot of their refrigerated items behind doors. I forget how cold other grocery stores are. 

I don’t go to Whole Foods very often. I knew where the ethnic condiments were but had no clue where I might find “whole wheat tortillas, no salt added.” I wandered the entire length of the store twice over and finally found a small selection. They really didn’t have much to offer in the way of wraps. Too many carbs for the Whole Foods shopping crowd, I guess? I settled for normal whole wheat tortillas that did indeed have salt as an ingredient. What do you want me to do, Dr. Gregor? I’m only one person. I at least then found the date sugar no problem. Okay. Cool. Only the miso left. 

I wandered into the Asian condiments aisle... and essentially repeated the same pacing act I’d done at Big Y, except I went back and forth even more times because I had a hard time processing that Whole Foods wouldn’t have what I needed. I mean, they’ve got some weird stuff there! They have like 5 different brands of ghee! Miso sounded like such a basic Asian condiment to me. We’ve all heard of miso soup, no? But it was nowhere to be found. Ugh. Fine. I’ll go to the Asian market in East Hartford. It’s not that far from here anyways, I tried to reassure myself. I could feel a sugar crash hitting my bloodstream. I wanted a juicebox and a nap. 

I checked out and made my way to Je Mart. I wandered up and down their aisles and couldn’t seem to find miso there either. It finally occurred to me that I was obviously missing something here. Like I really should have done at Big Y in the first place, I pulled out my phone and Googled “Where do I buy miso in the store?” Within 5 seconds I realized I’d been looking in the wrong spots of the stores the entire time. Miso isn’t a bottled or jarred condiment like Sriracha or curry paste. It’s actually sold in plastic tubs in the refrigerated section. Look near the tofu, the infinite wisdom of the Internet advised. I turned around and what do you know, literally right behind me was the refrigerated section with the tofu. And within five seconds I spotted it: a tub of miso!!! I grabbed at it ecstatically and scanned the label. Was this the white miso that Dr. Gregor had specifically demanded? It didn’t specify, but it looked pale enough for me. And it was only $5 for a pretty decent sized tub. I handed my money gleefully to the cashier and went on my way. Finally. 

I got home and put away my new purchases. It was about 2:20pm and I was beyond exhausted. I really shouldn’t have eaten that much granola, I thought morosely as I flopped onto the couch. I wanted to rewatch Forks Over Knives (it’s on Netflix!). If I started now it would end right around 4, a good time to start trying to actually prepare some of the meals I’d worked so hard all the day just to shop for. 

I’m not saying that I napped for the entire documentary because I definitely didn’t. I remember some parts of it. But can I guarantee I didn’t nap at all? No, no I cannot. 

This was another long post, so obviously I’m going to need to give us all a break and stop here before going on to Part 2, in which I’ll finally talk about cooking and eating these recipes. These first couple of posts have really just been a lot of exposition, I promise I’m going to get to the meat of the plot soon! (pun intended) 

For now, here’s a picture of the miso I drove all over the state searching for before finally acquiring for the very reasonable price of $5 (fyi - Big Y does have miso but it’s red miso and it’s $7 so I guess all’s well that ends well): 

[reifromrfa]

Hi~ I have found your blog a few weeks ago and I didn't know how to write a request -_- And I was wondering if I could request RFA+minor trio dealing with MC on sugar rush ? Love your blog :3

Aww thank you! 😃  This was so fun to write, thank you for requesting it!!! 😀  I hope you like it! 😀

Yoosung

He’ll probably eat all those candies with you tbh ;;;

And then you’ll both be on a sugar rush ;;;

Super intense pillow fights!!!

You knock him back too hard and he falls off the bed but instead of getting worried, you both just laugh at loud

Omg you guys just cannot stay still

The most intense Tekken fights ever

With both of you mashing the buttons intensely while screaming and laughing and jumping up and down

Prank calls everywhere

“Hello?”

“HI JUMIN HI HYUNG HELLOHELLOFJAKLFL;AKDJFDWAITYOOSUNG I WANTED TO SAY HI I THINK HE HEARD YOU MC"

Jumin has to hold the phone away from his ear, you two are shouting so loud and stumbling over your words ;;;

And then you both come down from your sugar high

You guys end up in bed, beyond tired with headaches

But you cuddle against each other and manage to smile at each other before calling it a day

Of course, you guys would totally forget how worse you felt when you crashed and would most likely go on another sugar rush

“Hello?”

“ZEN HI ZEN HELLO RAINBOW UNICORN I’M A UNICORN TOO”

“CUT IT OUT YOU TWO!!! STOP EATING CANDY AND STOP BOTHERING ME!!!“

Zen

He’s rushing home from work because it’s movie night and he doesn’t want to keep his princess waiting

When he opens the door though you suddenly jump into his arms and shower him with kisses

“Whoa, babe~”

“Did you miss me that much?”

You would tell him about your day (in fast forward, because your brain was in super speed and your mouth had trouble keeping up at some point ;;;)

Zen sees the pile of chocolate wrappers in the trash can and a light bulb goes off in his head

He makes the popcorn with you but you couldn’t stay still for so long so you start singing the song from the musical he was working on

Omg his heart is melting because you knew all the lyrics and omg he loves your voice so much

He sings with you and you two do the actions and dance moves as well

Only you do an overly exaggerated version of everything because you’re so hyper

And he would laugh and melt on the spot because his girlfriend is so cute and adorable and PERFECT

When the movie starts, you made commentaries on everything and he would comment with you

He’s so happy to see you so excited and bubbly and happy and goddammit you’re so adorable he loves you so much and he would do anything to make you happy

When you start to get quiet though, he just smiles and pulls you closer, letting you lay your head on his shoulder

You manage to fall asleep right before the big finale and Zen carries you to bed and tucks you in

He makes a note to buy less chocolates because he doesn’t want you to eat too much and crash too often, but once in a while he’ll let you binge on sweets and he always makes sure he’s there to take care of you when you crash

Jumin

He comes home and is surprised to see you running around the house with Elizabeth the 3rd

Party music is blaring from his surround sound and his house is a mess

Did his eye just twitch?

But as he watches you, he’s fascinated at your energy and he can’t help but smile

Then he notices the gift basket someone gave him and it looks as though you ate all the chocolates ;;;

But as you’re dancing and singing at the top of your lungs you notice him watching you from the doorway and your husband’s smiling at you

And you reach out your hand to him and he grabs your hand

He was not prepared for what happened next

You started dancing with him but not “proper” dancing noooo you were banging your head and gyrating against him and jumping around omg what kind of dancing is this where did you learn this???

“Jumin, loosen up!!!”

;;; MC i can’t dance like that ;;;

He can think of another activity he’d like to do with you while you’re hyper though…

He sets up his Zetbox and turns on Just Dance (ofc it’s Just Dance, what were you thinking? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

You kill him with perfect dance moves of course, and you laugh as he tries to dance in his suit

But he’s having so much fun with you; he never knew you were a great dancer but of course his wife would be good at everything

When you crash, he notices and picks you up in his arms and carries you to bed

Zen you’re not the only one who works out

And he would tuck you in and make sure you’re comfortable before turning in beside you

You’re more cuddly when you’re tired and he absolutely loves it

Of course he’d rather you not eat too much sweets but if you really want to, he’d ask you to have regular check-ups to the doctor, nutritionist and dentist; your health is still is top priority

Saeyoung

His fridge is stocked with Ph.D Pepper

So it was no surprise when you get a sugar rush from drinking too much ;;;

Saeyoung is finishing something for the agency but you just can’t stay still!

You reload your water gun and sneak up behind him

He’s surprised when you pull back his chair and he tilts backward, eyes wide and Honey Buddha Chips flying everywhere

“MC!!!!”

And then you’re spraying his face with water

IT.

IS.

ON.

Saeyoung is definitely set on vengeance but you’re so hyper that he can’t even get a clear shot; he misses you by inches but you manage to hit him every single time

Seriously this boy is so in-love with you right now

Even Vanderwood is impressed with your accuracy

Well, until he sees the mess you two made ;;;

“OY YOU TWO BETTER CLEAN THIDNDKALALSHLWLA” Oops he slipped on a puddle  ☜(˚▽˚)☞

Even Saeran joins in the fun! But that’s because Saeyoung missed you and hit Saeran instead ;;;

You can’t stop laughing hysterically and Saeyoung laughs along with you because he just loves seeing you so happy

Of course he also feels guilty because he knows you’ll feel terrible in a while

And then in the middle of the water fight, you slip and fall on the ground

“MC! Are you alright?” Saeyoung rushes to you…but you’re still laughing

Although you can’t get up anymore because your eyelids have gotten really heavy

And he lifts you to the bed despite your protests

“Saeyoung I can still walk”

“No MC you can’t pressure yourself to walk after your crash! It’s bad for your teeth!”

WTF does that have to do with this???

He’s very goofy but he’s very caring and he makes sure you rest up

Also makes sure to stock up on water ;;;

V

Jumin hired him to do a photoshoot for his new confectionery store

And you decided to go with him

And of course you’re practically drooling at all the sweets in the store so Jaehee offers you samples

Of everything

Oh my God worse idea ever

You start feeling restless as V takes the shoot and you end up popping more candy into your mouth

And then you’re chatting up Jaehee nonstop

And when she had to do something you chat up Jumin and start joking around with him

You’re so hyper that everything he says seems funny and you laugh a little louder than usual

Which catches V’s attention

When he sees you laughing around with Jumin and talk animatedly with him, he gets a bit jealous but pushes it away because a. Jumin is his best friend and would never hurt him and b. he loves you and trusts you

Of course he still kind of wishes you would be that animated with him too

When the shoot is done you finally run up to V and kiss him on the cheek and start telling him how cool he is and how wonderful the photos turned out and he’s smiling because he’s never seen you this excited and happy

And you’re stumbling over your words but he’s just smiling at you, loving how adorable you are

On the way home you fall asleep in the car ride but he would just lean over and kiss your cheek as you sleep, having found out that you tasted every sweet that the shop offered

Would probably wait in the car with you even when you reach home because he doesn’t want to wake you up this cutie

Saeran

This guy loves ice cream

But he never gets sugar rushes

Unlike you ;;;

You tried to match his ability to eat loads of ice creams in a day and whew boy, he’s not ready for what happens next

You suddenly jump on Saeran’s back and cling to him as you’re on your date

;;; “MC get off my back!”

“Noooo I want to stay here, Saeran~”

Extra cute and hyper MC makes him turn red

You stay on his back and point to the places you want to go and he mutters complaints about how heavy you are but deep down he enjoys carrying you around

At some point though, you climb down his back and start running towards the sea

“MC! The beach is too far, we can’t walk all the way there!” ;;;

As if you were listening ;;;

He brings you to a place overlooking the sea and you both watch as the sun sets

And he glances at you to see a peaceful, lazy grin on your face

“I think all the sugar is gone now.”

“Good. Come on. Let’s go home.”

He’d hold your hand as you follow him sluggishly and he kneels down and offers his back again

You guys end up calling Saeyoung to pick you up though because Saeran’s also tired :)))

Vanderwood

You’re on a date and Vanderwood makes the mistake of buying you a banana split ice cream

Which you eat by yourself because he doesn’t like sweets that much

And he didn’t know it was going to be MASSIVE but you tell him you can handle it

He didn’t expect you to get a sugar rush ;;;

Oh dear God no

It’s like being with a female version of Saeyoung

You’re so hyper and you’re all over the place

He’s tired just by looking at you running down the street

Worse, you drag him along with you, pointing at all the shops and dragging him inside, only to run out again because you could not stay still

And oh my God you just said 4 words in a second like wtf

He cannot keep up with you ;;; Seriously, this secret agent is exhausted ;;; This is more exhausting than fighting off a dozen skilled men

“MC, for the love of God, let’s go home.”

But then as you’re heading to his car, you crash

And he notices that your energy level dropped from 500 to 20

“You shouldn’t have finished that whole ice cream by yourself,” he would tell you repeatedly

Yeah yeah, Mary Vanderwood the 3rd

But this man seriously cares about you

He isn’t very showy but he can’t let his lady walk all the way to the car like this

So he would carry you in his arms the rest of the way, his exhaustion forgotten

He thought you were too tired to notice, but you don’t miss the slight blush on his cheeks or the way he looked at you —like you were the only thing that mattered to him in this world

Check out my other Mysme writings here!

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[demonicheadcanons]

RFA + V + Unknown help MC with a painful period

(AN: It’s that time of month, my dears. (Friendly reminder that I am genderqueer, but this does not prevent this time from rolling around every month sadly). I get particularly severe pains, but I got a TENS unit today and its really helpful! I recommend it totally to anyone else who gets severe pains.

I don’t like the pulsing that it does, I find it to be a bit too painful for me, so I just turn it off when the pulsing starts and turn it back on and it goes back to the other feature which is way better! Just a tip for anyone like me ;u;

I hope you all have blessed, non-painful periods! Take good care of yourself, get what you need to help with the pain, and rest up well! Enjoy!)

Zen

Oh boy, he honestly isn’t all that sure what to do

Calls Jaehee immediately, he’s panicking because you’re curled up in a ball whimpering and holding your stomach, trying to pretend you’re okay

She tells him what to get for you, so he gives you a glass of water or a cup of tea before diving out to the shop on his motorbike to grab anything and everything

In a pharmacy, he gets one of the staff members to pick out the best of everything for you. Best painkillers for it (if you can have them), best TENS unit, best hot water bottle, literally anything at all

Comes home with bags full of things, including all your favourite foods, chocolate and ice cream (lactose free if necessary), and all the pain remedies. He also has a lot of different types of sanitary towels and tampons because he didn’t know what worked best, so I mean, you won’t run out for a while

Rubs your back and stomach and gives you loads of kisses. Cuddles up to you whenever you want

He makes sure you don’t have to do much on the days where it hurts most

If it makes you dysphoric he will do anything to cheer you up

If you bleed on anything he doesn’t mind one bit. He’ll even let you wear his clothes if you’re more comfortable. He gets advice from Jaehee on how to wash blood out of anything, and so everything comes back clean and fresh anyway. If anything is ruined, he doesn’t particularly mind

You also have a basin beside you, if the cramps get so bad they make you be physically ill

Yoosung

He freaks out so bad

He knows you’ll be okay but you just seem to be in so much pain

He is at work when you call and ask him to get a few things for you, and he can hear the pain in your voice, and he gets you to explain what is wrong

You think he hangs up because it’s disturbing him, but in reality he is just sprinting to the nearest pharmacy to get a few things for you

He has to ask someone who is also shopping for sanitary towels what they find works best, although he’s bright red when he does so. They just smile and say that their partner finds this brand to work best, so Yoosung gets some of those and gets you both big tubs of ice cream

He wraps you up warm in blankets and makes sure you wear you’re comfiest clothes, and he gives you the tub of ice cream and such. He’ll cuddle up next to you with his own tub of ice cream and you both watch whatever you want

Yoosung gets a little bit flustered if you get blood anywhere, but he doesn’t mind it unless it gets on his favourite hoodie. He might get a bit upset if that happens. He’ll clean it up otherwise with a shrug

He pouts at you a lot, trying to portray his sympathy and care through this. He doesn’t really know what else to do

He’s honestly just in awe that you somehow cope with this every month

If you haven’t expressed that you don’t want kids, he will definitely make a joke or two about having kids so that you get a break from it for a while (Yoosung no)

If it makes you dysphoric he feels so bad and he just curls up to you and, like Zen, he will do anything to help cheer you up

Jaehee

She knows

She knows exactly what it feels like

She gets pretty severe cramps and pains too, to the point where she finds it difficult to walk. Thankfully, she knows a good few remedies to fix it, and the cupboards are always well stocked up with things to help, as well as pads and tampons

She’ll make sure you have everything you need, and if you need a day or two away from the café, that’s fine too

Jaehee definitely gets you a TENS unit to try and help, showing you how to use it. She also shows you all the pressure points that you can press to help with the pain

You two end up syncing up, and she is able to predict both of your cycles most of the time, so she goes out and gets everything when you’re both due

She’s not overly affectionate like the others would typically be, but she will cuddle up to you if you want her to, especially if you’re dysphoric or anything like that

Jumin

He has professionals on hand and has someone assigned to finding anything to help with the pain

Basically, your pain won’t last long

If you (understandably) don’t want to be poked and prodded at every month, he’ll still have people taking care of you. He doesn’t want you to be in pain or to want or need for anything

Literally you will get anything you want or need ever, and you won’t have to get out of bed at all except to use the bathroom. If you get blood on anything he just shrugs and is completely unfazed, ordering for someone to clean it

He will even clean it himself for the first while if you’re too nervous about having strangers cleaning up something like that

Expect lots of gentle forehead kisses and arm rubs and cuddles (Jumin totally just nuzzles his face in to your neck and stays there ‘til you’re ready to get up)

If you get dysphoric he straight up asks if you’ve considered things like surgery and such, but he will steadily reassure you that you are who you are and that you having periods does not in any way affect your gender or who you are

Seven/Saeyoung

He’s so prepared (not)

Sprints out to the shop to get you pads/tampons and ice cream and chocolate and so much stuff Seven what is this even used for? “I don’t know, it was in the same aisle, I just lifted one of everything!”

He’ll probably be busy a lot of the time with work and stuff, he wants to make sure he can take care of you both, and Saeran, but if it’s really bad he’ll take a day out and he’ll cuddle up with you literally all day

He makes so many puns until you actually just have to tell him to stop, but he’ll give you so many kisses and he’ll rub your stomach and let you nap all you want

As you rest, he does loads of research so that he knows exactly how to help you with anything, so that when you wake up you’ll have a hot water bottle and a drink with a variety of different things in it to soothe you, and just anything he thinks will help

He also shows you pressure points that you can press to help relieve some of the pain at least

If blood gets anywhere, he’s mostly unfazed. He might pull a face but if you seem to actually feel guilty or seem upset about it then he’ll apologise to you and will stop messing about

He’s probably the most relaxed about it all after Jumin. He just doesn’t mind much at all, and nothing really fazes him

If you get dysphoric be prepared to do a lot of the things you love doing as soon as your period is over. Seven tries to take as few days off as possible, so he’ll probably be up all night working, but he takes a day to just do whatever you want

V/Jihyun Kim

He’s a little anxious but he had to help Rika with her periods before so he knows what to do at least

Any time you are in pain you can see his face flood with concern before he smiles at you to try and act as your positive light

He’s happy to help you in whatever way you need. If you need sanitary products, he’ll get them. If you want specific foods, he’ll sort it out

When his sight is restored via surgery, he would probably be quite busy with work at times, so he can’t always be there for you, but he makes sure to be extra caring when he eventually gets home

V tends to text you when he is working just to make sure you’re doing alright too. That is his main concern – that you are feeling okay

He’ll give you kisses in the morning when he’s leaving and then as soon as he gets home, making sure you’re okay. He’ll be very cuddly if you allow him to be, and you’re going to get asked how you are every minute of the day

If things get too bad he’ll definitely contact a specialist to come and see to you to make sure you’re okay

He gives you tummy rubs and kisses your stomach at times (I imagine that V would love stomach kisses)

If you get dysphoric, he’ll call you or be there for you and he’ll rub your back and remind you of how far you’ve come and how well you’re doing. He is so, so proud of you

Unknown/Saeran

(I’m trying to work out how he learned about all this. He never went to school so I doubt anyone ever gave him ‘the talk’ or anything. Must’ve just found stuff online?)

He learned about all this by reading up about it online, after seeing mentions of it here and there

One of the other members of Mint Eye also kept talking about it, so he had to learn more about it

He isn’t really all that fazed about it. It’s just something that happens, and that’s fine

He learnt all these tips and tricks for dealing with it. Not all of them work, but he definitely tries to help at least

However, please tell him if you don’t want the others to know about it, because he will literally just put in one of the RFA chats ‘MC is on their period. What am I supposed to do to help?’ to get advice from the others

It does mean you get a care package from Jumin though, with items carefully chosen out by Jaehee

Saeran will suddenly pull you on to his lap when you’re both sitting and he’ll hold you close to his chest and grumble for you to just relax as he pets your hair and leans his chin on the top of your head

He will sit there with you until you need to get up, or he’ll hold you until you relax and fall asleep. It becomes a common thing for you to just climb on to his lap when you’re period rolls around and its being particularly bothersome, and he’ll just sit there and rub your back, stomach, or he’ll play with your hair

If you get dysphoric, initially he probably doesn’t get it, because he doesn’t see why you having a period or certain body parts makes your gender any less valid (it doesn’t), but he’ll mumble to you that you’re yourself, regardless of what anyone else says

(Sorry that this is a little rushed, I am in pain and I can’t focus ;u; I hope this is good enough, I haven’t even skimmed over it since I wrote it. Enjoy, and do take care of yourselves!)

[my-mystic-mess]

Can I request the RFA+V and Saeran reacting to MC having super bad period pains~ idk sorry it's weird lmao. I love your writing! 💞

Dood, I also have god awful cramps. I hate periods so so much, this is what I feel like when I’m on mine…

And thank you!! It’s so nice of you to say that~ You have no idea how happy I am when I hear that someone likes my writing!!

Disclaimer: spoilers, blood, and slight mentions of sex???(like sex ed, nothing graphic)

o   Yoosung

·        WHAT IS GOING ON?

·        When he finds you curled up in a ballon your bed groaning from the pain he freaks out

·        He quickly realizes what is going onthough since he grew up with his mom, sister, and later on Rika.

·        “Honey, what can I do to help?” he wouldtimidly ask.

·        The sweet lil’ bean would be preparedto do anything he could to help you with your pain

·        Yoosung would grab you some painmedicine and after he saw that you took it, he would probably fly out the door.

·        You would wonder where Yoosung wasgoing for a minute as you would drift off, sleep over taking you as there was alull in your pain

·        You were awoken a couple hours laterto the smell of something wonderful

·        You crept into the kitchen wrapped ina comforter to see your wonderful boyfriend standing at the stove making yourfavorite dinner

·        sliding behind Yoosung you wrappedyour arms around him

·        He jumped in surprise but giggledwhen he glanced behind him to see you encased in the blanket

·        After dinner and a making sure youtook  more pain medicine he tucked youinto bed beside him making sure you were comfortable

·        Yoosung would stroke your hair as youfell asleep nuzzled beside him whispering in your ear about how much you meantto him

o   Zen

·        I honestly feel like Zen would be themost clueless

·        He’d see that you bled onto thesheets and he was freaked out

·        After you told him you were on yourperiod he’d be like…

·        “Period?? Like at the end ofsentence??” he’d try to joke around to lighten the mood

·        (he mentions he was in relationshipsbefore but I don’t think those would have progressed as far as them livingtogether; whereas I believe soon after the party you and Zen would be livingtogether)

·        and then the cramps would come…

·        “Baby, are you okay? What’s goingon?”

·        “Its cramps Zen could you please getme some Advil or something?”

·        “Advil?” he’d ask…

·        Zen was hardly ever sick or ever hurtso he didn’t really keep a lot of medicine around…

·        “ZEN GO TO THE STORE AND GET ME SOME MEDICINE! AND CHOCOLATE!”

·        He didn’t even say bye as he rushedout, the door slamming behind him

·        Zen called Jaehee on his way to thestore and asked her almost a million questions

·        After getting almost all of his questions answered he picked up what he thoughtyou might need and brought it back home

·        You were surprised to see Zen walkthrough the door with six bags from the store

·        He had gotten four boxes of tampons,three boxes of pads, four different types of medicine, and who knows how manytypes of snacks

·        Zen hesitantly approached you whereyou had laid yourself across the couch

·        And saw your face stained with tears fromthe pain(and hormones)

·        To which he immediately scooped youinto his arms and sat you on his lap

·        Where he pecked your cheeks with hissoft lips until you were left giggling

o   Jaehee

·        BOY DID SHE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL

·        Home-girl had your back when it camewith period pain

·        Her cabinets were stocked witheverything you might ever need

·        When you woke up one morning withparticularly bad cramps and a sore back she called into work immediately to askfor the day off

·        “Mc, stay in bed I’ll make yousomething to snack on and get you a heating pad.

·        After she pulled out a heating padand gave you a few extra pillows she hurried to the kitchen

·        Jaehee grinned as she brought a plateof your favorite breakfast food to you

·        You smiled softly, ushering her backunder the blankets and back next to you

·        The two of you laid nestled in bedtogether for the rest of the day

·        Jaehee would occasionally bring upsomething she found in her research that she found interesting

·        And you would chat about some ofZen’s musicals and both of your hopes for his career

·        By evening you were warm and feelinga bit better, you always felt good after being nestled into Jaehee’s side

o   Jumin

·        asdfghjkl he’d be so sweet oh my god

·        OKAY

·        You’d wake up in the middle of thenight with that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach

·        And you knew.

·        Feeling that your pajamas were nowruined you rolled out of bed and staggered into the bathroom

·        You began to clean yourself off, andthat’s when you heard Jumin getting up and gasp when he saw you weren’t in bed

·        He thundered towards the bathroom asyou opened the door

·        “Mc, darling are you alright? Do youneed anything?”

·        Jumin seemed a bit flustered butrelaxed as soon as you moved into his arms

·        “Mc… are you feeling okay?”

·        You gave a small chuckle as you toldhim that it was just your period and that you get awful cramps when you are onit

·        That’s when you both noticed that youwere in fact just in your underwear on account that the huge night shirt youhad been sleeping in getting bloody

·        Embarrassed you pulled away from himbut, he just closed his eyes and smirked while pulling you into his arms

·        “Shall we draw you a warm bath orwould you rather put some new pajamas on and get back to sleep?”

·        You laid your head on his shoulderand mumbled something about having a snack

·        He walked you to the bedroom and slipped one of his shirts over your headthen picked you back up to carry you to the kitchen for a quick midnight snack

·        You awoke the next morning on thecouch with your head in Jumin’s lap

·        Looking up you saw Jumin snoozingabove you with remnants of last night’s snack present on his cheek

·        Sitting up, you covered him with a blanketbefore making your way to the bathroom

·        All the while thinking about howabsolutely in love you are with your husband

o   Saeyoung

·        You had been out shopping when thecramps had began

·        And to make matters worse you hadbled through your pants causing you to become quite embarrassed(even if no onehad seen them)

·        By the time you got to the bunker andgotten through all of the passwords

·        (GODWHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY PASSWORDS I JUST WANT TO BE IN BED)

·        As soon as the door was open you ranthrough stripping your pants and bloody underwear off in the process, nevernoticing that Saeyoung was dead asleep on the couch

·        (and at that point you just didn’tcare)

·        You made it into the bathroom andtook some pain medicine as you turned on the shower and…

·        (Whatthe heck? How did I get blood on my shirt?) you thought to yourself as youstepped into the shower

·        Your muscles began to relax as thewater ran down your body

·        Saeyoung awoke to the sound of theshower turning off but what he saw when he opened his eyes terrified him

·        “MC! WHERE ARE YOU? OH MY GOD, MC!”

·        Needless to say seeing your bloodiedclothes scattered across his home shook him to the core

·        He heard your muffled voice from behindthe bathroom door yet, he paid no mind as he barged in.

·        “Saeyoung?!” you squealed yanking thetowel tighter around your body

·        “M-Mc? Are you alright, I saw all theblood and I-“

·        Sighing, you gestured to the newlyopen box of pads on the bathroom counter

·        Saeyoung’s face flushed almost as redas his hair, and he began stuttering as he backed out of the bathroom slammingthe door quickly behind him

·        When you emerged a few minutes lateryou were met with the comfiest looking pillow fort you had ever seen andSaeyoung sitting inside with a heating pad and Honey Buddah Chips

·        He gestured you over and sat you onhis lap wrapping his armsaround your shoulders lovingly

·        “I’m sorry I freaked out on you babe,but maybe this will make up for it?”

·        “Saeyoung,” you sighed “it didn’tbother me. I’m just in a lot of pain.”

·        He turned on the TV as you leanedagainst him, settling in for a comfortable evening

o   Saeran

·        OKAY SO MINT EYE DOES NOT HAVE GREAT SEX EDUCATION CLASSES

·        (Much like many schools smh)

·        so the first time it happens whileyou are together he’s like

·        “Why are you so moody?”

·        “Why aRE YOU UPSET?”

·        “WHAT IS A PERIOD??? BLOOD??? WHYDOES IT HAPPEN???”

·        After you tried your best toexplain(Saeyoung explained a little more in depth at a later point)

·        (likeimagine giving your boyfriend the bird and the bees talk)

·        He gets it.

·        And the next time you got your periodhe was prepared.

·        And I mean prepared.

·        The minute he found out that you wereon it this sweet boy was over to your apartment in minutes

·        He walked in loaded down with tubs ofice cream and pain medicine

·        He didn’t say a word while he put theice cream in the freezer as he sat you down on the couch

·        You smiled softly watching Saeran bustlearound your kitchen, he hadn’t said a word except hello since he got there

·        Soon he was back by your side andhanding you a bowl of soup

·        “Eat it, and I’ll let you have someice cream later.”

·        You smiled and thanked him whiletaking the soup from his hands.

·        He sat down directly across from you,watching intently as you ate it.

·        A blush settled over your cheeks frombeing watched and you glanced up and met his stare

·        “What? Do you need anything? Are youhurting?” he asked hurriedly

·        “No, well yes, I am hurting but I don’tneed anything. I’m just really happy that you’re here with me.”

·        It was him who began to blush then,and he quickly stood and took your empty bowl

·        Suddenly, your cramps got worse andyou groaned in pain

·        Saeran was by your side quickly andtook your hands in his looking at you worriedly

·        You smiled at him reassuringly andkissed his cheek.

·        Saeran reached for your hand as youleaned your head against his shoulder and fell asleep…

o   V

·        V IS GOING TO LOVE AND CHERISH YOU NO MATTER WHAT

·        SO BE READY TO BE TREATED LIKE A FREAKING ANGEL

·        V was awoken by you twisting andturning in bed sweat coating your body

·        He groggily reached for the lamp onthe bedside table to flick it on

·        V lightly shook you awake and tookyou by the hand leading you to the bathroom

·        He turned the shower on and helpedyou undress out of your pajamas

·        You mumble out a quick thank you asyou stepped in the shower

·        He told you about some ideas forfuture photos as you washed off and soon stepped from the shower

·        V was waiting for you with a freshlydried towel and enveloped you in its warmth

·        On your bedside table was a glass ofwater and some pain medicine

·        You reached for V as you tumbled backinto bed

·        He pulled you into his chest andbegan to rub your back softly

·        You fell asleep tangled together, andneither of you could imagine a place you would rather be  

Lots Of Love,

L💖

[how-could-i-do-this]

A Mind at Work (Part 1)

Summary: Alexander is a dick. Angelica and Thomas bond by comforting Eliza. 

Pairing: Angelica Schuyler x Thomas Jefferson 

 A/N: Party on. 

Somehow, the whole campus knew. Alexander hadn't thought that many people even knew who he was, yet he was getting glares from almost everyone he walked past. He knew he had fucked up, and he told Eliza. She was devastated, and he was kicked out of their apartment. Indefinitely. 

 Angelica knew. Eliza had called her the minute Alexander had left.

"Liza? What's wrong? It's like..." She squinted in the direction of her alarm, shoving her latest conquest out of the way, "It's 7:00 here. Why are you still up?" The Frenchman next to her groaned and rolled over. What had his name been? Something too long to remember. 

"Ange, I really wish you were here." 

"What happened?"

"Alex cheated on me." That was all it took. 

Angelica left her room in the care of her new friend -Lafayette, he said his name was- and took the next flight home. 

Thomas knew. Eliza was one of the nicest students he had ever worked with, and they still got coffee occasionally. Alexander, on the other hand, was someone he couldn't put up with for more than a few minutes. It didn't help that they had classes together, and they couldn't seem to agree on anything. 

Thomas didn't understand how Alexander even had time for a partner. Grad school was his life, but Alexander somehow managed to juggle the same amount of work, a relationship, and (apparently) someone on the side. Thomas had never been cheated on, but he figured heartbreak was universal, and it deserved food. 

"Let's see... no, that's not nearly enough tomatoes," Thomas muttered to himself. Grabbing an armful of the best ones he could find (and eliciting a stare from the older woman behind him), he pushed his cart towards the checkout lane. He was finally done with his work for the week, and he was going to make the largest lasagna known to man. 

A woman cut in front of him, talking quickly on her phone. 

"Yeah, of course. No, I didn't forget the ice cream. Babe, please don't cry. I'll be home in like 15 minutes. Okay, bye." She turned around, startled. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I completely cut you off, didn't I?" "It's alright, you look like you have places to be. I'm in no rush." He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he tried not to laugh at how many items the woman had managed to carry. 

"Opposed to baskets, are you?" 

"I was in a rush and I didn't think to grab one." As she finished her sentence, all of the groceries in her hands toppled, landing in Thomas' cart. She began to gather them up again when he stopped her. 

"The line is long, you're obviously stressed, just leave them there. It's really fine." 

"Well, thank you." She extended her hand. 

"Angelica." 

"Thomas." 

"It's nice to meet you, Thomas." Her phone buzzed again, and she looked down to tap out a quick response. 

 "It's my sister. She wants me to grab more chocolate. Good lord." Angelica cast her eyes to the wide variety of candy bars near the register. Turning back to Thomas, she said, "Which should I get?" 

"Oh! Uh, I don't know. What's the situation? It depends on how your sister is feeling. I would personally go for skittles, but I'm having a good day." 

"Well she just got cheated on, so skittles may not be the right choice." Thomas attempted to take this news in stride, but it must've shown on his face. 

"Too much information, I know." 

"No, no. You definitely need chocolate in this situation. Lots of chocolate." Using his best announcer voice, he continued, "As far as specific candies go, I would recommend this high quality Godiva for when she's feeling better, and this low quality Hershey's for when she's not." 

Angelica laughed, taking the candy from him and placing it on the belt. She waited for Thomas to finish, then grabbed half his bags before he could say anything. 

"I at least owe you for squashing half your food." Once they had loaded their cars, Angelica extended her hand. "Thank you again for the chocolate recommendation." 

"Glad I could help. Give your sister a hug for me." He paused. "Maybe... I could give you my number and you could let me know how everything goes?" Angelica smiled. 

"Of course." 

T- 3:26 So, how's your sister doing? 

 A- 3:27 She's okay. We've been making headway on the ice cream. 

 A- 3:27 What have you been doing today? Besides buying a bunch of smashed up tomatoes, I mean. 

T- 3:28 I was going to smash them anyways, you just speeded up the process. 

T- 3:28 I'm making lasagna for a friend, and I haven't burnt myself yet. 

 A- 3:29 Lasagna?? What's the occasion? 

T- 3:29 They're upset, so I'm making comfort food. 

A- 3:30 And to you, comfort food is homemade lasagna. A little extensive, but amazing. 

T- 3:35 Scratch what I said before, I've just burnt myself the once. 

A- 3:35 Be careful- if you bleed in the lasagna, how am I supposed to eat it? 

T- 3:37 Who said you were getting any? 

T- 3:37 Kidding. If I make you lasagna I'll be sure to bleed directly on it. 

A- 3:38 I am so blessed. 

Around 6, Thomas loaded up his car with the lasagna and headed out. He had made about the equivalent of three full sized ones, but he made sure to package it so it could be easily frozen. Eliza was so little, he didn't like the idea of her going without food for any length of time. It may have been too much lasagna, but Thomas was a biased judge. 

 He pressed the buzzer to her apartment. "Hey Eliza, it's me. Can you let me up?" 

"Ange! Thomas is here! And he brought so much food!" Angelica trudged into the room and looked at their guest, expecting one of Eliza's strange, overly nice friends. 

"Uh, hi Thomas. It's been a while." 

Angelica was slightly comforted by the fact that Thomas looked just as shocked as she did. 

"You already know each other?" Eliza asked. 

"Yeah, he's the guy I told you about, from the store." Eliza's eyes widened. "Oh! The guy you said was really-" 

Angelica pinched Eliza's side, hoping she got the message. Thomas covered for their thinly veiled embarrassment by grinning and moving into the kitchen without invitation. 

"Ange! You didn't tell me it was MY Thomas at the store!" Eliza whispered hurriedly. 

"How was I supposed to know? I've been in France for 3 months!" 

"I mean, he's pretty easy to describe. All you had to say was his hair is like-" Eliza made a motion as if her head was exploding when Thomas walked back in. He tried to hide his smile, turning to gesture back at the kitchen. 

"I already stocked your freezer, but I didn't know if you had eaten dinner yet. Should I get out some plates?" 

"Definitely. Angelica will show you where everything is. I have to go change. These sweatpants are completely unacceptable for having company." Eliza practically shoved them in the direction of the kitchen. 

"I do actually know where everything is, if you also want to change." 

Angelica faked offense. "Are these sweats not good enough for you?" 

"On the contrary, I feel underdressed. I only wish I were so stylish."

[carolcooks2]

Good morning everyone and Pete… time for another post which is this crazy idea from one of my fellow scribes…but food fun…E is a doozy…

Did you know?

There are 95069 words that end with E…of course, not all food-related but there are quite a few so I have not gone for the obvious many of your favourites will not be here …Brownie being one but never fear chocolate is still featured…

Abalone…

Image by 덕효 홍 from Pixabay

Or sea snails…I have never tasted these I have seen them on cookery shows and posh menus…it is also illegal to take abalone from the ocean. Numbers of abalone are now at critically low levels because of over-exploitation. Poaching is the biggest threat to abalone. People in local communities are either paid money or given drugs by large syndicates to illegally remove abalone from the ocean.

95% ​of abalone comes from aquaculture, eating non-farmed abalone is truly a rarity…

Agrafe…

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

A winemaking term for the metal clip used to secure the cork in a bottle of champagne or sparkling wine…That was a new one for me…I didn’t know that …

Aubergine…

Is actually a colour — aubergine — that resembles the purple of the aubergine or as it is also known as the eggplant. … Apparently, way back in the 1700s, early European versions of eggplant were smaller and yellow or white. They looked a bit like goose or hen’s eggs, which led to the name “eggplant.”

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Small purpleThai eggplants

The daddy…

Tiny pea eggplants used in Thai Curries

It looks to me like the earlier European versions have had a revival or never went away as we get lots of small..tiny eggplants here and in all colours…yellow included…

Buckle…

The history of this is fascinating and shows how one dessert has many names depending on where you come from… this one has some great names…such as cobbler, pandowdy, grunt, slump, buckles, crisp, croustade, bird’s nest pudding or crow’s nest pudding.  They are all based on seasonal fruits and berries, in other words, whatever fresh ingredients are readily at hand.  They are all homemade, simple to make and rely more on taste than fancy pastry preparation.

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Deconstructed crumble

Buckle topping

Early settlers of America were very good at improvising.  When they first arrived, they bought their favourite recipes with them, such as English steamed puddings.  Not finding their favourite ingredients, they used whatever was available. That is how all these traditional American dishes came about with such unusual names.

The early colonist was so fond of these juicy dishes that they often served them as the main course, for breakfast, or even as a first course. It was not until the late 19th century that they became primarily desserts.

Calzone…

A folded pizza…I’m sure someone will tell me it is not just a pizza…half-moon shaped and stuffed with cheese, meat and or vegetables, fried or baked and often served with a marina sauce.

Cerviche…

This is more to my taste …raw fish cured in lime or lemon juice spiced up with chilli peppers, onions, coriander, tomatoes…like a fish salsa…

Deglaze…

Just a posh word for adding cold liquid to a hot pan and releasing all the lovely stuck on bits of meat and juices is how you make the best gravy for your Sunday Roast…

Did you know? Those brown bits are called Fond which is the French word for bottom…

Ganache…

Dieters beware this glaze or icing is made from chocolate and cream…it can be used to glaze pastries or fill pastries…

Lattice…

Lattice is the pretty topping for pies…very easy to do and just adds that little extra…

My individual latticed apple pies…

Pottage…

Is a term for a thick stew of vegetables, grains and or meat/fish this dish goes back to medieval peasants who grew what they could and cooked it slow to produce a thick stew or soup, which they ate with dark rye bread…It filled the tummy on a cold day…

Poutine…

A dish of french fries, gravy and cheese curds… originating from the Canadian province of Quebec

Not something I have eaten but it looks delicious…

Sardine…

A small oily fish which is part of the herring family…hubby loves sardines on toast as do the grandkids…according to the FDA sardines contain less mercury than other fish they are also as high in Omega 3 fatty acids as pink salmon…

Shitake…

An edible mushroom native to East Asia…it is also considered to be a medicinal mushroom in some forms of traditional medicine. They grow naturally on decaying hardwood trees…you can purchase them both fresh or dried… it is said that dried they provide a deeper more balanced medicinal effect…Here they can be sauteed and served as a side dish, they are often sliced and added to miso soup, added to stir-fries and used to make a stock base for Kombu broth, a delicious, balanced, health-promoting broth.

They are also quite a meaty mushroom although I love mushrooms and do eat these they are not among my favourites …

Treacle…

A treacle tart is…sigh…Treacle is an uncrystallised syrup made during the refining of sugar. The most common forms of treacle are golden syrup, a pale variety, and a darker variety known as black treacle. Black treacle I use in my Christmas cakes and puds and also gingerbread…

The golden syrup I use sometimes in a steamed pudding or make a tart with breadcrumbs and served with vanilla custard…sigh…not good for the waistline but a delicious treat…

That’s all for this week see you in two weeks for the letter F (aperitiF)…Yes, please!

Please stay safe as it seems in some places lockdowns are being introduced again…not good xx

About Carol Taylor:

Enjoying life in The Land Of Smiles I am having so much fun researching, finding new, authentic recipes both Thai and International to share with you. New recipes gleaned from those who I have met on my travels or are just passing through and stopped for a while. I hope you enjoy them.

I love shopping at the local markets, finding fresh, natural ingredients, new strange fruits and vegetable ones I have never seen or cooked with. I am generally the only European person and attract much attention and I love to try what I am offered and when I smile and say Aroy or Saab as it is here in the north I am met with much smiling.

Some of my recipes may not be in line with traditional ingredients and methods of cooking but are recipes I know and have become to love and maybe if you dare to try you will too. You will always get more than just a recipe from me as I love to research and find out what other properties the ingredients I use contain to improve our health and well being.

The environment is also something I am passionate about and there will be more on this on my blog this year

Exciting for me hence the title of my blog, Retired No One Told Me! I am having a wonderful ride and don’t want to get off, so if you wish to follow me on my adventures, then welcome! I hope you enjoy the ride also and if it encourages you to take a step into the unknown or untried, you know you want to…Then, I will be happy!

Please stay safe and well and follow your governments safety guidelines remember we are all in this together xxx

The Culinary Alphabet with a twist…The letter E (agrafE)

Good morning everyone and Pete… time for another post which is this crazy idea from one of my fellow scribes…but food fun…E is a doozy…

The Culinary Alphabet with a twist…The letter E (agrafE) Good morning everyone and Pete... time for another post which is this crazy idea from one of my fellow scribes...but food fun...E is a doozy...

[chocolateheal]

Why You Should Not Go To Chocolate Pudding Pies | chocolate pudding pies

The meal is over. The dishes are in the sink.

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What are you confined for dessert, Kansas City?

“What’s the quintessential Kansas Burghal dessert? Something we’ve absolutely been accepted for over the years,” was the #curiousKC catechism that sparked this candied odyssey.

While analytic for the acknowledgment to what completes a meal, it fabricated faculty to alpha at the beginning. I angry to historian and assistant Andrea Broomfield, the columnist of “Kansas City: A Aliment Biography.”

“The indigenous and the socioeconomic mural of Kansas Burghal is so assorted that it’s adamantine to peg any one ambrosia as quintessential,” Broomfield said.

Strike one. Broomfield wasn’t the alone one addled by this question, in allotment because some of Kansas City’s best acclaimed desserts are no best served. Aliment biographer and Flatland contributor Jill Silva remembers a time aback red clover block was a acceptable alms from breadth bakeries.

“I couldn’t absolutely analyze a dessert,” chocolatier Christopher Bend added. “The affair that came to apperception aboriginal doesn’t abide anymore. The amber cafe [a continued table burdened with baddest amber delicacies] at the Peppercorn Duck Club.”

Strike two. In the bosom of this sweets saga, I apparent that while Kansas Burghal may not accept our adaptation of ooey-gooey adulate block (I’m attractive at you, St. Louis), we ability accept a distinct affectionate of ambrosia that is top-of-mind for bakers, pastry chefs and aliment writers.

“I don’t absolutely anticipate there is one single, quintessential ambrosia that originates in or defines Kansas City,” Heirloom Bakery & Hearth co-owner Scott Meinke said. “But I do anticipate there is at atomic a category. To me, that is pie.”

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Meinke went on to say that pie feels fabricated for a burghal accepted for barbecue.

“What finishes off any acceptable barbecue is a acceptable allotment of pie,” he said. “You’ll be absolutely blimp from your Kansas Burghal barbecue, but there’s consistently allowance for pie.”

His sentiments were echoed by Rye and Bluestem co-owner and pastry chef Megan Garrelts.

“Banana chrism pie comes to apperception for me,” Garrelts added.

“I anticipate the best, best bounded Kansas Burghal desserts are fabricated at home,” Judith Fertig, columnist of “The Block Therapist,” said. “But I do accord a nod to the aces auto meringue pie at Rye.”

In the advance of reporting, I abstruse a bit about the academy area I work. In 1998, KCPT appear “This Place Called Home: A Kansas Burghal Cookbook,” a accumulating of reader-submitted recipes. Fertig was the editor of the cookbook that includes Susan’s Mushroom Soup with vermouth, Slumgullion (a casserole-like basin of arena beef, tomatoes, bend macaroni and cheddar cheese) and nine abstracted recipes for pie, amid them Bess Truman’s Auto Ice Box Pie.

Fertig says that admirers advantaged bootleg desserts: angel cake, Ozark pudding fabricated with angel and atramentous walnuts, and the above aboriginal lady’s auto ice box pie.

The pie is ablaze in arrangement with big, ablaze addendum of lemon. As continued as you accept abundant time to let it set up in the freezer, it passes the low effort-high accolade test.

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While Bess Truman would serve it on her aback balustrade afterwards a bold of canasta, auto pie is absolutely the affectionate of ambrosia you should serve afterwards barbecue. And that agency it’s in the active for the quintessential Kansas Burghal dessert.

Bess Truman’s Auto Ice Box PieMakes 6 to 8 servings

Ingredients:

2 eggs, separated

⅓ cup beginning auto juice

1 tablespoon auto zest

½ cup sugar, divided

1 (9-inch) able graham cracker pie crust

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1 cup whipping cream

To Make The Pie:

In a baby saucepan, barrel egg yolks with auto abstract and bite until able-bodied blended. Barrel in 2 tablespoons sugar; alloy well.

Cook over low heat, whisking often, until the admixture thickens and turns opaque. Admixture is done aback it coats the aback of a spoon. Remove from calefaction and cool.

In a baby bowl, exhausted egg whites with addition 2 tablespoons of the amoroso until annealed peaks form; set aside.

In a abstracted bowl, whip chrism with actual amoroso until annealed peaks form. Bend auto admixture into aerated chrism and alloy well. Then bend the egg whites into the chrism mixture, and alloy well.

Pour into pie band and benumb until firm, about 1 hour.

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