#I know I write him (and Celegorm) different from most I do it on purpose

[amethysttribble]

The thing about characters in the Silm and the other extended histories is that… well there’s not really much there, is there?

There’s usually a handful of key facts; there’s hopefully a family tree; there’s the recorded history of the breadth of a life

But by god, it’s like trying to reverse engineer a character, a personality, a soul out of a Wikipedia page. Those are prompts, those aren’t the typical literary characters we’re acquainted with whose authors dig into they’re heads and record dozens of their conversations in full.

The Silm is a coloring book of characters- there’s structure and outlines and clues, but you get to choose what crayons bring which shapes to life. And let’s be clear, there are more obvious colors to use than others to color those characters in, ones that make more sense and probably more accurately reflect authorial intent.

Like a coloring book tiger, no one can be faulted for using orange and black. But some folks might use purple and red, and usually, they’re just as correct based on what is actually in text, provided we’re staying inside the lines (this metaphor’s getting away from me)

And I must say, as a fanfic writer, it is a dream kind of scenario, there’s a lot to play with. From a creative standpoint, it’s really fun, and I admit I take pride in some of the characterizations I’ve cooked up, because I think they are a different shade from most colors I see. I do it on purpose.

I’ve rambled, and I’m not sure there’s much of a point here. I mostly mean to articulate a thought and to say that I actively enjoy that there’s always a veritable buffet of characterizations for every individual character in this fandom, as different authors choose to highlight different aspects of the scant few details and conversations we have. And some might not be my cup of tea, but it’s cool that they’re there.

[cilil]

Day 4 ~ Friendship & Alliance

𓂃🖋 Characters/pairings: Celegorm x Aredhel 𓂃🖋 Synopsis: Aredhel has an idea for the next Feast of Horns. Celegorm is quite taken by it 𓂃🖋 Warnings: / 𓂃🖋 Oneshot (~550 words) | AO3

Tyelko, 

I have an idea for the next Feast of Horns. 

I assume I neither have to ask if you will be participating as well nor which role you are going to take — we will be hunters, of course — so: 

The best way to prove oneself as the best among the Hunters is to catch the greatest prey, and none could be greater than Lord Oromë himself. Yes, he will be among the Hunters as well most likely, and either of us may not be fast or strong enough, but together I bet we have a chance. 

Of course we could never overcome one of the Great Ones in battle, but thankfully Lord Manwë has decreed that no violence shall be used against one another. Why not take advantage of the Valar's own rules? 

It wouldn't be the first time a Hunter chose different game than the Hunted either, if I may remind you of certain incidents. 

Is the great Tyelkormo brave enough to join me on my quest? I would enlist the help of Artanis otherwise, though I would prefer to have a companion I am used to hunting with by my side. 

Let me know what you think. Írissë

Tyelkormo smirked to himself when he read the note Írissë had sent him, cleverly placed inside his quiver — hidden from unsuspecting eyes, yet a place he would undoubtedly check while readying his gear for the next hunt. 

Her suggestion was bold to say the least, but he had never been one to doubt or hesitate. In fact, the mere thought of hunting Oromë together with Írissë sent a rush of adrenaline through him — Tyelkormo could already imagine his surprise, likely followed by a graceful, benevolent acceptance of their challenge. The Huntsman of the Valar was not known to be overly formal, nor did he care much about rank and status; his hunters were his pack, his to protect and cherish, and they had taken advantage of his fondness for them before. 

Not to mention the admiration of their peers if they managed to take a trophy from him. Tyelkormo could already imagine making necklaces out of Oromë's antlers for himself and Írissë and how lovely they would look combined with the ones he had gifted them to wear for the hunt. 

Dropping his quiver and leaving his gear as it was, he pocketed the note and went back to his room to write a response. 

Írissë, 

I accept your challenge. You can count on me for both support and secrecy regarding your plan. 

Join me on a hunt before the Feast of Horns as soon as you can, so that we can talk in private and come up with a strategy. I shall postpone the one I had planned for that purpose. 

If you are thinking about possible strategies already — which I know you are, and I will be as well — do keep in mind that we may have to compete with Lady Vána too if she chooses to be part of the hunt, as she has done in past years. 

I am looking forward to hearing from you.  Tyelkormo 

Pleased with his response, Tyelkormo folded the paper. Today's trip would take him to his uncle's house instead, and he already knew where he was going to hide the note for Írissë to find. 

Thanks for reading! ♡

Note on names: While Celegorm is often known as Turko for short, due to his father-name Turcafinwë, I like to think that Aredhel at least prefers Tyelkormo and to shorten it instead (to Tyelko).

The Feast of Horns headcanons can be found here.

taglist: @elanna-elrondiel @i-did-not-mean-to @saintstars

[outofangband]

Do you have any off the cuff thoughts on how each of his brothers handled maitimos recovery? Like which ones of his brothers actually were helpful and which ones messed up most with the things they said and how they approached his recovery and him struggling with his trauma? For some reason I've been thinking a lot about that period of time recently haha

I have several posts on this!  I think this is the most recent one!. You can also find others in the Post Angband tag! And because this blog is pretty Maedhros centric, searching the name of another Fëanorian is likely to get you pretty reliably the relevant content about them and Maedhros post Angband! 

This is obviously a favorite topic of mine too and 

The other Fëanorians struggle with many different factors;

their relief that Maedhros is alive and back with them

their horror and guilt that he hadn’t been killed, he had been alive all this time and alive as Morgoth’s prisoner 

their inexperience with trauma of this nature 

inter Noldor political issues among the two houses even before the matter of kingship was settled

then of course there are...other things. 

Maedhros’s survival is cause for speculation. Despite Fingon’s difficulty in getting him down from the cliffside, there is no doubt in my mind that there are those who are suspicious of his rescue, who think that Morgoth allowed it to happen (and in earlier versions of Silm which are absolutely fascinating, it seems that actually WAS the case) 

“But ever the Noldor feared most the treachery of their own kin who had been thralls in Angband; for Morgoth used some of them for his evil purposes, and feigning to give them liberty sent them abroad; but their wills were chained to his and they strayed only to come back to him again” (”Of the Ruin of Beleriand”, p188, The Silmarillion)

There are those even among their own loyal hosts who question Maedhros’s sanity, who even question his loyalty. They don’t speak these rumors within earshot of the other Fëanorians but the brothers know what’s being said and not all of them agree on how they should be handled. 

But yeah to sum up individual responses:

Maglor: good at healing and soothing, could definitely be overly careful to the point of walking on eggshells

Celegorm: the opposite of Maglor and had more difficulty picking up on when gestures or words were a trigger but very helpful with practical things. helped train a dog to aid Maedhros with stuff! also his blunt approach to things could sometimes be useful (to be honest he’s probably my favorite to write with Maedhros post Angband) 

Caranthir: especially in the beginning best at behind the scenes things, making calculations for herbs to ease the pain from old burn wounds, etc. good at a kind of quiet companionship. 

Curufin: struggled the most with Maedhros giving up the kingship or more accurately was the most open about being upset about this. he also was good at the stuff Caranthir was good at. perhaps also being involved in making a prosthetic 

Twins: overly anxious, even more so than Maglor. wasn’t even allowed to see him at first. Amrod would blurt out questions that he meant to keep to himself, Amras would barely acknowledge what happened at all 

I hope this is an ok response! I wasn’t sure how much to repeat things I had said before (even though some of these themes are Very Favorites of mine and that I just kind of like to repeat, almost like a stim...) if you have any thoughts on this I’d love to hear also!! And as always please feel free to ask more! 

[veliseraptor]

2019 Fanfiction Round-Up

I’ve done one of these every year since 2016, so here we are again. At this point I’d feel weird if I didn’t do it, even if it takes a long ass time to do.

Total Year-Long Wordcount: Here as of 8:20 PM, 421,602 words - which includes some essays and original fiction but is, by and large, mostly fic. 

If you’re curious, that’s 35,133.5 average words per month, and 1,155 words per day. The month I wrote most was 48,006 words (January) and the least was 21,550 (October). I may go into more stats later to compare to my 2017/2018 spreadsheet, because that’s the kind of loser I am.

This year I wrote and posted: This isn’t exact, because it includes chapters of things I wrote as separate fics, but probably something around 60 fics. 

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? 

Less, by a substantial margin. There are a lot of potential reasons for this (a new job that takes a lot more energy and time, me making a concerted effort to socialize more, taking on more difficult projects that require more time/work/effort, a two month horrendous depressive episode) but I’m trying to tell myself that it doesn’t matter why, and it’s totally fine that my total amount written doesn’t match recent years’. Over 400,000 words is still a lot of writing.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? 

This was a hard year, so I’m going to be self-indulgent and pick a few. I remain really, really proud of the fact that I wrote gather frankincense at all, and pretty proud of how it turned out also. good lord turned his back on me was one that I wrote basically all in one go, and I was really pleased with the Natasha POV and getting to write in her voice - I do that shockingly rarely, and haven’t in a while. I really liked both writing that fic and the arc of it - what it did as a story. 

Finally, continuing with the trend of “small fandom fic” which...I wrote a substantial amount of small-fandom fic this year, which pleases me - how this grace thing works. It was in the works for a long, long time and finally was finished this year - it’s the (for lack of a better word) softest Doctrine of Labyrinths fic I’ve written, and quite possibly ever will write. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I wrote in two different fandoms that I hadn’t written in before or hadn’t written for years. Okay, in fairness I did some Doctrine of Labyrinths writing last year, but this year was really the bulk of the recent writing I’ve done for it. Writing for Lymond was a substantially bigger risk. Glad I did it, and I learned that I could do it, but...

I wrote a fic for someone else in second person, which was certainly a risk in a different way.

Overall...I learned that while I can write in first person still, I deeply prefer both third and second person overall. One of those isn’t surprising; the fact that I’ve come to actually really like second person sometimes is more so. 

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: 

As usual, excluding my multichapter stuff because that skews results a lot - by hits it was how the dead walk; by kudos it was Seams and Scars, and by both comment threads and bookmarks it was Mirror, Mirror. All interesting! Seams and Scars is the most surprising to me, but also pleasing considering how goddamn long that fic took me to write (I’m so glad I finally finished it this year).

Most fun story to write: 

Five Hundred Ways to Discorporate a Demon. Aka the most light-hearted “repetitive character death” fic I’ve ever written. It was just...writing Good Omens fic this year in general was a lot of fun. It’s a departure from my usual voice, and my usual wheelhouse, but probably because of that was really enjoyable to explore. Though in a weird way good lord turned his back on me was also a lot of fun, in the sense of...it was one of those fics that was easy for me to write. It came out smooth and in a way that I liked basically right off the bat, which is rare and a great feeling when it happens.

Story with the single sexiest moment: 

This was kind of a challenging one, actually, because what I find sexy sort of fluctuates based on what I’m in the mood for at the time, but I might go with the sex scene in The Waxing Moon, partly because, as I discovered writing both that fic and An Ever Expanding Circle, I apparently find cocky Thor really sexy. I sort of resent this. (So does Loki.)

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: 

Yeah, I’m going to go with no good doing what I’m told, aka the one where I had a bunch of existential angst about “is this too much? am I going too far?” which...yeah, is always a sign of something considering how high my bar for myself has gotten.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: 

I have a hard time with this question every year. In some way, every story I write shifts my understanding of the characters, or at least deepens it. I guess maybe After the Fire - I dug into Curufin’s head more there than I have in a long time, and since I last did my understanding of him has changed generally. This fic developed more of that changing understanding.

Hardest story to write: 

The Compassion of the Wicked. Even more than gather frankincense, that fic fought me, to the mat, and almost won a number of times. Writing the sex in it was an adventure - I think I noted when I finished it that this is possibly the least explicit fic with explicit sex that I’ve written. Also possibly required the most research, and by “required” I mean “I chose this.” And writing Joleta was...it took me some doing to figure out how to write her, which surprised me a little. 

Anyway, the whole thing was just. A whole barrel of struggle. I’m pretty pleased with the end result, but yeesh.

Biggest Disappointment: 

As usual, in myself, for not working more on my WIPs and not finishing we live until we die. I wanted that to happen this year, I really did, and while I suppose it’s not surprising it didn’t (there was a lot of planning that needed to happen, and continued to need to happen), I’m still disappointed. 

Biggest Surprise: 

Other than “the fact that I wrote Lymond fic at all” and “the fact that people actually read the Lymond fic I wrote”? Probably the continued and aggressive expansion of the Where the Devil Don’t Go verse. I thought it was over after I wrote drown my woes in a lake of fire but then it turned out that there were (checks) five more installments I was going to write, and two more in the works, and one other that is on Tumblr but not cross-posted. 

I did not see that coming at all.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: 

I never really know how to answer this question. I guess sometimes there is an obvious one, usually meaning “Jesus, Lise, how fucked up can you get” and in that sense it would definitely be no good doing what I’m told, but...I actually think in some ways it might be how the dead walk. It isn’t...exactly the same as my issues, but there are some ways in which it aligns with them in ways that are different from the ones I usually work with when I’m writing Loki.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. The first thing that Felix noticed about Malkar was his hands. (The Anvil and the Chain)

2. The moment he was left alone, Maeglin stumbled to his feet, untethered the nearest horse, and set off back toward the smoke and flame still visible on the horizon. (how should I begin)

3. For the first month and a half after Rocket’s friends arrived on Midgard, along with the remains of Asgard’s population, Loki avoided Gamora with the skill and determination of a mouse evading a fox. (came through the jaws of Death)

4. In the summer of the Year of Our Lord 1000, there was a false alarm, brought about by millennial fever both Up and Downstairs, that the Apocalypse was imminent. (Mercy)

5. A long while ago Loki had read, in a book that was now ash, about the formation of storms. (we haven’t slept in years)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

1. I was lying on my stomach with shackles on my wrists and ankles and the water was rising. Someone, somewhere, was crying. It might have been a ghost. It might have been me. (As I breathe, he burns my lungs like fever)

2. Like my fear of water, fear of Malkar ran in my blood, and was as much a part of me. (The Road to Mourning)

3. “I am not in the mood for indulgence. Is there a purpose to this pageantry, o my Pasha?”

“Save that it is my pleasure?” Gabriel regarded him with a touch of amusement. “You would rather I tied you to a whipping post and had you flogged?”

“You would gain marks for consistency,” Lymond said. (gather frankincense)

4. “Because you are the flaw. You are the fault along which the stone splits. You are what is wrong.” (Mirror, Mirror)

5. “Would you rather I were?” Loki said, and there was something soft and vicious in his voice even with the lingering rasp that made the hair on the back of Clint’s neck all stand on end. “I think not. I am aware that you do not want me here. No doubt you would rather have Thor. That is fine; I would rather you had Thor, too. Don’t think I am not aware of the long and manifold list of my failures. That does not mean I want them enumerated to me by you.” (the enemy of my enemy)

6. “I am too beautiful to die,” Celegorm said with confidence.

But you are going to, Curufin thought. We all are. Condemned as surely as if we were Secondborn. Maybe not now, but... He held his tongue and simply said, “oh, naturally.” Celegorm wheezed a laugh and closed his eyes again. (After the Fire)

7. And yet he misses Thor. No, that is wrong: saying he misses Thor is as inadequate as it would be to say that he misses breathing. He is that central, that vital, that involuntary.

If anyone asked, Loki thinks he would tell them that was why he was running. To prove that he can. (These Vagabond Shoes)

8. The smile, when it came, was sharp. “O Castitas,” Lymond said, “Mater et Virgo, extingue carnales concupiscentias! But enough. For whom this mummer’s show? Do we not know each other better now? For certainly I have known flesh of your flesh, blood of your blood... and she drew mine.” (The Compassion of the Wicked)

9. There was a way Thor had of saying things that made them inarguable. Loki had no idea how he did it - it was as though he spoke the words and it just was, like the world bent itself to suit what he said, only it bent itself so it was as though it had always been true. Loki had always found it maddening. (Speak every man the truth)

10. Everyone got a bit twitchy in the 1300s. People started getting suspicious of the dark glasses. They seemed to think Crowley was hiding something, which he was, but that wasn’t any of their business. (Five Hundred Ways to Discorporate a Demon)

11. This was what the Grandmaster did. He showed you a door, or what looked like a door, and then yanked you back just when it seemed to be in reach. Or proved that it had never been there at all, and what had you been thinking to try to get away, anyway, after everything he’d done for you? (preacher man won’t cut no slack)

12. “You can’t help me,” Loki said, breathless. “There is nothing left to help.”

“That isn’t true,” Thor said weakly. “You are here, aren’t you?”

“Here,” Loki said. “Yes. But I am - I am not myself. I am a cobbled together patchwork of Odin’s making and the Grandmaster’s making and the making of the Void. And yours.” All the feeling had gone from his voice. “You want your brother back. But that person doesn’t exist. If he ever did.” (where I make my home)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

There are a lot of pieces from Mirror, Mirror that I would love to see, but maybe especially the one where Loki is looking at his reflection and notices how sick he appears, when the shadow appears behind him.

Gabriel making Lymond kneel in gather frankincense. Look, I am who I am.

Thor sitting next to ghost!Loki from it slips between my fingers now.

Curufin kneeling (SHUT UP) in front of Finrod with wounded Celegorm in his arms from After the Fire. It could be very Pieta. There’s a lot going on there. I just want it.

Steve and Loki at the top of the waterfall from into the light of a dark black night, just before Loki dives over.

Fic-writing goals for 2020:

Finish we live until we die. This is probably the biggest, most concrete one on my list. 

Write! More! Lymond fic! I have three ideas and I really like all of them - I just need to stop having staring contests and psyching myself out and actually do the writing.

Whittle that WIP list down to at least under 70. Under 65 would be even better.

That’s really all. I’m keeping them modest. Also here is “try to chill out, a little, about your pathological productivity problem” but that’s an ongoing project that maybe doesn’t count for the spirit of this question.

[atariince]

Hey! I am fascinated with your characterization of Curvo in your fics, I read Anathema and your most recent fic in Valinor. Could you share your thoughts about Tyelko as you did with Curvo?

Hi! First and foremost, I must thank you for this very kind message. It reallybrightened my day! I’m so glad you enjoy my characterization of this big grumpyÑoldo. =)

Now, I love the character of Tyelkormo, I think he’s a fascinating fellow and I have a pretty clear idea ofwho (I imagine) he is, so I wish I could write about him as I do with Curufin… but I’m afraid I can’t. It’s hard to explain, but I have this weird,indescribable connection with (my interpretation of) Curufin, and although he’s very differentfrom me, I know him by heart. I don’t have the same access to Celegorm’s innerthoughts and feelings; I can try to write about him from his own perspective, butthink it would feel wrong… or at least, not as thorough (and perhaps not ashonest?) as I would wish it to be. In the end I would probably feel quite disappointed withmy own writing. (it’s actually strange because on a personal level I resemble Celegorm more than Curufin)/.

(Does myexplanation make any sense at all?)

As for my thoughts and headcanons about Celegorm, the first adjective with which I’d describe him would be “loyal”. He’s indeed hasty, and harsh, and violent, and not as polite and proper as one could expect from a prince, but he’s far from being a heartless asshole. Celegorm feels deeply and I daresay he’s particularly emotive: contrary to Curufin who tends to repress all kind of feelings, all expression of his emotions, Celegorm is definitely the type of guy who will shamelessly express every movement of his souls; not purposely, of course. He just can’t help it. And if he tries (and sometimes succeeds) to conceal his deepest feelings  - especially when it has do to with pain, doubts, shame - it is only because he has learnt to do it, and understood it could be useful to not display and express everything. Needless to say, Curufin was his mentor on that matter. And don’t take me wrong, when I talk of what he feels I don’t only talk of pain or wrath, but also of affection, joy, enthusiasm… and sarcasm (of course). In other words, Celegorm has all the spontaneity which Curufin lacks - and that’s probably why they complete each other so well. And that’s also why they’re both very impressive, but in two different ways: On the one hand you have a huge guy who always looks stern and reveals nothing, who just stands there and watches you stoically. On the hand, you have this other huge guy who’ll react thoughtlessly and impetuously to approximately anything you’ll say: the problem is that you’ll never know how he’ll exactly react.

And yes, loyalty (though I daresay it runs in the family), towards his family of course, but also towards his people - be they lords or soldiers or peasants - and honesty. Contrary to Curvo, Tyelkormo is a bad liar. He tried. but he jut can’t conceal things. He speaks his mind, he’s not the manipulator his brother is. He’s brutally honest and that’s probably why he’s not as good in politics and diplomacy as his brothers, but that’s also why his people like him so much. They know they can trust him no matter what. Whether he’s happy or not with someone, this someone will know about it immediately, and they respect Tyelkormo for being so true. 

What else could I say about him? Apart from what is canon: Puts friendships on a pedestal - Enjoys annoying his brothers - Pretends that he doesn’t like being the victim of Curvo’s jests (he likes it) - Eats a lot - Can eat everything as long you write “food” on it - Drinks a lot but avoids water (pretends it makes him rust) - Vain (even when he’s dirty/muddy/covered with blood, he wants to “be dirty in a proper, harmonious way”) - Excessive (especially in his mood: you can’t have a tempered Tyelkormo) - Prideful - Pretends not to care but cares a lot (common point with Curvo - though Tyelkormo is bad at pretending it) - Impressive mood-shits - Curious (wants to try everything) - Enjoys swear-words and argot - Provocative - Show-off - Craves admiration - Once tried ( as a kid) to look under Aredhel’s skirt but she hit him so hard he never tried again (at least not without the person’s consent) - When in a lazy mood you can’t take him out of bed, but actually struggles between weeks of insomnia and weeks during which he’d sleep for 10 hours in a roll - Needs to act, to do things, to be busy (to avoid insomnia) - Was once found eating in the dog’s bowl (twice in fact: once when he was a kid, and a second time later when he was drunk) - Scary when angry and even scarier when hungry - It’s worse when he’s sad - Creepy - Enjoys talking about dead things - Great cook - Likes to carve stuff (wood, bones) - Likes to yell at people for the fuck of it - Judgmental - Drama-lover - Likes pretty things - Likes pretty people - Aromantic - Bisexual - Never shares food - Spits a lot - Wishes he could “accidentally” step on Finrod’s foot/pull one of Finrod’s braids/ see Finrod’s hand caught in a door - Likes hugs (but pretends he doesn’t) - Laughs for random reasons, in inappropriate moments - Likes being naked (”freedom” he says)- Can build a shack from scratch - Shameless - Is sick to his stomach each time he thinks about Maedhros’ capture - Likes to sing, fight and swim (not especially in this order) - Wishes he could have crushed Eöl’s skull - Actually enjoys juggling with skulls (is bad at it) - Jealous and possessive - Never apologizes - Adores self - Sarcastic - Dangerous - Rather egotistical - Seductive - Smart af - Very good at understanding people (= instinctive) so is rarely deceived - Likes petting dogs - Likes contests and organizes a lot of them (”Guess who can pee the furthest?” he once asked, aiming at the sink) (He was drunk) - Laughs (too) loudly - Speaks (very) loudly - Fears only to lose his brothers - Once tried to ride Nahar and regretted it - Never said to his father that he loved him and regretted it - REGRETS.

He’s ambiguous in his independence. In other words, he can totally manage to live by his own, especially in the wild, but his state of mind totally depends on the ones he loves. 

A good boy, indeed.

[elesianne]

Fëanorian week: Celegorm

A Silmarillion fanfic for Feanorian week 2017

Summary:  A young Celegorm finds in the woods all the things he has been struggling to reach.

Length: ~1,600 words, Rating: Teenage audiences & up

Warnings: Mentions of hunting and related stuff including blood, nothing very graphic

Some keywords: hunting, nature, adolescence (Celegorm is intended to be a teenager at the beginning of this piece)

(AO3 link)

*

The joy of wild things

At first Tyelkormo thinks it is a punishment for how much he has been acting up recently, his parents suggesting that he go the woods of Oromë for a while and see if he could be the Huntsman's pupil. He thinks they want to send him away from Tirion until the troubles he has caused have been forgotten.

So of course he blows up, explodes into shouting and throwing things. He knows this hardly proves them wrong, but he doesn't care – why should he care about misbehaving with his family when they want him gone?

Luckily his parents have more patience than he does (or rather, his mother has enough for both her husband and her son on this occasion as so often) and eventually they manage to explain that no, they don't want to be rid of him and will indeed miss him very much.

'But I think you should take the chance to see if your calling lies with Oromë, as I found mine lay with Aulë when I was young', his father says, his words calm but his eyes still flashing from shouting back at Tyelkormo earlier.

'It is very clear by now that you have a different calling from the rest of us', his mother says gently. 'We would have you discover it and find contentment in it, as we find contentment in the works of our hands. And we have noticed that you enjoy the outdoors more than any other in our family. You seem so at home among nature when we go on our journeys into the less tamed parts of Valinor.'

Tyelkormo has to acknowledge that this is true. There is something about being surrounded by wild, growing things that makes him feel less restless than the white walls and marble houses of the city where he has lived all his life, and he hasn't been objecting to his parents' plan out of any real reluctance to go to Oromë's house.

So in the end he goes there because, once he calms down, he can see that his parents do mean well. And they promise that if he finds nothing to his liking there, or nothing of worth, he doesn't have to stay long in the woods.

He ends up never really leaving, though of course he spends part of his time in Tirion with his family.

In the dappled, green-hued light of forests and the calm purposeful activity of Oromë's house Tyelkormo learns the things he never managed to master within the city walls: patience, moderation, respect.

Patience is a hard lesson to learn for one as restless and short-tempered as he is. It is also an essential one, for he soon realises that without patience, stillness and silence, a nervous beast he wishes to befriend or slay will bolt and flee from him. He has to learn to sit still crouched in the shadows, to speak calmly and continuously, to move slowly and fluidly, and also to weather disappointments, for the lessons the Vala teaches are not easy to learn, cannot be taken in at one try however hard one tries.

But in the end he learns the lessons of patience, and most miraculously of all, he even comes to enjoy the challenging moments: the hours he spends tracking an elusive beast, the tense seconds he waits with his hand outstretched to see whether a skittish creature will come to him after he speaks to it in its own language, the blink of an eye between releasing an arrow and seeing it hit its mark.

The world is full of possibilities in those moments.

Moderation needs to be learnt because as the Huntsman of the Valar tells Tyelkormo, a hunter must know not only how to kill but also when to kill: there is a right season to hunt each animal, and no animal must be hunted so much that it loses its rightful place in nature. There must be both predator and prey, and there must be a balance. It is the hunter's responsibility as the greatest predator to make sure that the balance is not broken. He never realised it before, but to all creatures but those of darkness Oromë's hunters are not killers, they are guardians.

The wonder he feels when he discovers how many kinds of creatures there actually are in the world, and how unique they all are and how beautiful in their uniqueness, makes it easy to understand the value of a hunter's moderation and restraint. He learns the natures and languages of all beasts, great and small, those that kill and those whose fate it is to die in the teeth and claws of others, and he learns their place in the order of creation so that he can guard it.

He tries to teach this to Curufinwë, later, but it is the only thing the can never make his clever brother understand.

Surprisingly, respect comes easiest of all, the respect that a hunter must give his prey. The first time he sees light fade out in the eyes of something he killed himself, when he listens to it drawing its last breath (a rattling, choking sound that should be ugly but isn't) it is very easy to remember the gestures and words Oromë has taught him. It feels nothing but natural to close the hare's eyes, remove his arrow, dip his fingers in its blood and draw a sign on his forehead, and to thank the animal for its death. To his surprise the words come out a whisper, and more reverent than any prayer he has ever said.

In time he will craft his own ritual words of gratitude to speak in those moments after taking a life, whittle them to perfection like he does with his swift arrows, and teach them to others including his youngest brothers. The Ambarussar never become as close to the lord of the forests as he is, never learn more of the languages of beasts than is needed to hunt them. Even so they listen with bated breath when he tells them the words they should say to honour an animal's sacrifice.

This is as close as he ever comes to writing poetry.

Tyelkormo is grateful for the lessons he learns, for the things he could never reach before. But the best thing of all is that though he learns much, he doesn't have to give up anything of what makes him him, as he felt people wanted him to do in Tirion. His fury and his joy – he gets to keep both, though they are transformed. Somewhere in between all the other things he learns, he also learns to transform them.

The fury he turns into tenacity and perseverance, forges it into the right shape until it is as useful and as unyielding as the steel his father and other kin work. He never achieved much in the smithy under his father's tutelage and never cared very much about his lack of aptitude  – though he cared more than he let show – but to Oromë he is an eager and talented pupil. And Oromë's praise means more than Fëanáro's ever did, because these are things he actually wants to be good at, with all his fierce heart.

The tenacity and perseverance give him strength to keep going when he is wet and tired and slightly injured and trudging through heavy undergrowth far from home, to forget these discomforts in pursuit of something greater. They keep him looking for the way out when he thinks himself lost in a strange place.

He channels fury and joy alike into his throwing arm, into the drawing of a great bow, into running as fast as the beasts he pursues. Learning to harness the fires of his mind adds to his already remarkable strength (strength which he never knew to appreciate as he does now) and gives him a wonderful sense of freedom, and of being capable.

He still has his joy that comes to him so easily, and in fact it never arrived more unbidden or more intense than it does under the boughs of the trees or around campfire in the silver shadows of a hunter's night. Delight in the feel of the wind against his face as he gallops through the trees, glee in hitting a target everyone thought he couldn't, merriment in the company of his fellow hunters.

This joy doesn't make him spiral out of control, it isn't to his detriment; it actually helps him concentrate and get what he pursues.

And the most unexpected joy of all, an honour he didn't expect to receive from the Vala who taught him the lessons he most appreciates, is the faithful companion who makes sure he never again has to feel the particularly troubling restlessness of being alone and lonely.

Huan makes the moments he misses his family easier – and, it turns  out, the hound also makes the moments he misses the wild woods easier, those times when he has to stay in the city so long and attend so many boring formal events that his skin begins to itch under heavy robes and he longs for the freedom of the hunt. For after he makes an escape from the parties and gatherings, he and Huan race along the night-quiet white streets like the wild things they are, startling the slumbering inhabitants of Tirion.

In the city he is often too much – too loud, too violent, too angry or boisterous – but in the forests and fields he is just right.

*

A/N: Thanks for reading :) I love feedback; you’re also very welcome to comment on AO3!

[thelioninmybed]

Do you and June think Yreth and Tuluspen have ever interacted with Dagnis? i like the idea of them being momentarily united in their shared distaste for her. Or maybe they'd all get along great???? Who knows! Not me!

Although Dagnis, Tuluspen and Yreth do all exist in the same horrible shared universe (Tuluspen and Dagnis even appear together in the next chapter of You Are Coming Down With Me!), I don’t think we’d actually considered how the three of them get on. 

Now we have. 

June: I feel like yreth would really appreciate dagnis

Lion: from a safe distance

June: She proves her right about EVERYTHING

Lion: YUP

June: She doesn’t want to be in an enclosed space with her but bigod is she good for someone looking for evidence of feanorion garbness

Lion: Right, the fact they’ve not put her down is PRETTY TELLING

June: fuck ok i’m having an idea

what if dagnis picks up on how much tuluspen hates her and decides to be oblivious about it

Lion: ooooooh

Friendly even!

June: and decides to follow her around like a devoted

weaselthing

Lion: YES

June: ‘we have so much in common’ she growls happily

Lion: god, Dagnis is the actual worst? I love her SO MUCH

June: ‘my master and yours, our lives are so common, hoo yiss’

tuluspen has never felt more defensive of maedhros

Lion: ahahahaaha

(and she is never NOT feeling defensive of Maedhros) (all those tumblr posts about how great he is and how he never did anything wrong ever are all her)

June: (100%)

dagnis leaves her little gifts

the poos were wooing!

Lion: awwwwwww lil’ bits of tasty squirrel for her new bestie

June: owl pellets

terrible poetry

if you’ve never heard ‘you soak my loins like a bitch wolf in heat’ warbled outside your bedroom window

you are missing out

Lion: oh my god I’m swooning

June: tuluspen is beside herself

maedhros shrugs, if he could have done anything about dagnis she would have been dead in the compost heap 150 years ago

Lion: Maedhros this is a hostile working environment you are cultivating

'seduce her back. I don’t know.’

June: 'they’ll be leaving soon’ he says, with a note of hope but not much conviction

listen, if tuluspen could seduce anyone, things would be very different

Lion: Is Tuluspen the least seductive character in all the legendariums? Probably

Dagnis definitely wouldn’t pretend to be Fingon so she wouldn’t be able to get off anyway

June: that log that gollum paddles around? might be slightly less winsome and flirtatious than tuluspen

Lion: But only once the mould started growing on it

June: right, before that it would outcharm her

Lion: Tuluspen’s girlfriend is only with her out of spite  😞

June: i don’t think dagnis and tuluspen ever get physical (i really hope not) but if they did, dagnis would definitely give her the worst orgasms of her life

shameful, terrible, nightmarish orgasms

Lion: They definitely don’t but Tuluspen probably has a horrible sex dream about her

And can handle her even less afterwards

June: okay but about tuluspen’s girlfriend i feel like yreth would be BEYOND amused

tuluspen has never talked this much to yreth, it is all complaining

(shit, yes, imagine tuluspen not being able to make eye contact with dagnis and dagnis knowing IMMEDIATELY)

Lion: Tuluspen talking to her about things that aren’t their duties or part of unhealthy roleplay!

(Dagnis was howling outside her window for exactly that reason)(it was very sensual howling, she knew the effect it would have) (Maedhros also had a nightmare about Dagnis that night but it was, tbh, still better than his usual nightmares)

June: dagnis lurks up to yreth at some point and is like 'for $100 and your horse i’ll let you white knight at me for your girlfriend’

yreth is conflicted, on the one hand she doesn’t actually feel the need to HELP tuluspen, on the other this would be GREAT role play fodder

Lion: oh no Yreth don’t do it, this is a devil’s bargain

June: on the third hand, dagnis is probably going to eat her horse and she likes her horse

Lion: Right, that’s a v. good point. Obv. the solution is to pay someone else to pretend to be Dagnis (not in horses) and then white knight them

June: who has the free time and performance sense to properly -

Lion: OH NO

'this shall be my greatest challenge as an artist yet’ Maglor says, already rubbing fox dung into his hair

June: maglor 'over involved in everyone else’s life’ feanorion

Lion: (this explains SO MUCH about crooked aim) (he’s HAD PRACTICE)

June: SHIT

-shakes fists above head- MAGLOR

Lion: okay so Maglor - does he bleach his hair or get a wig? On the one hand elves love their hair

on the other, he’s a true artist  and his dedication to the craft is unparalleled

June: But verisimilitude, right. He’s gonna bleach his hair and then be stuck with it. Celegorm tells him he’s never looked better

Lion: ❤ Obv. Celegorm is quick to inform him that he wears it better and also Maglor’s roots are showing but whatevs, art is suffering

Maglor, in Dagnis-guise, serenades Tuluspen again that night. The plan is for Yreth to show up and shoo him off in full view of her swooning hatesexbuddy

Unfortunately Maglor cannot bring himself to accurately replicate Dagnis’ actual musical/poetic ability

June: maglor you fuck

Lion: And writes something of unsurpassed beauty that all weep to hear

June: you had one job

Lion: Tuluspen is confused mostly and wants to know why Maglor, dressed as Celegorm, was singing

does…Maglor have a crush on her? Does Celegorm? Is that why he was dressed as him to woo her?

June: oh no, he’s gotten bad intel on which brother she liked

Lion: Celegorm is furious that Maglor is seducing Maedhros’ steward on his behalf, he doesn’t need anyone to do his seducing on his behalf. He’ll go seduce her his own self right now

June: tuluspen is so upset

Lion: I suppose that’s the part where Yreth gets into a fight with Celegorm? Poor Tuluspen did not ask for any of this

June: yreth is so pissed, this is what you get for hiring a feanorion to do ANYTHING. more confirmation bias

Lion: ahahahah. At least 'stealing mah girl’ is an ironclad excuse for punching the most punchable of Feanorians…like the murders weren’t

June: somewhere mid trying to kick celegorm in the shins with a sword celegorm informs her that the most effective way to get rid of dagnis is with a squirt bottle of soapy water

Lion: ahahahaaha Curufin invented squirt bottles specifically for this purpose

June: 'i can make them acid resistant too,’ he says hopefully

Lion: Oh Curufin. If bits of her were burnt and melty she’d just smell worse

June: and she would just get grosser looking, she is not killable. she is the most durable elf

Lion: She’s the physical manifestation of their sins, come to haunt them, one of them suggests while feeling esp. maudlin about the dead three day old badger in his bed

lmao Dagnis survives the sinking of Beleriand and follows Maglor around for all eternity

June: a manifestation? dagnis is a little annoyed to think that anyone could consider a vala ordering her to do anything

Lion: Right, Dagnis follows no will but her own

June: did they miss the part where she made not one but two valar so uncomfortable that they tried to fire her from being an elf?

Lion: The Feanoians are very self centered

June: 'it’s not an elf’ says vana. 'some kind of fisher cat’

'how dare you’ says orome 'some of my best friends are fisher cats’

they settle on bog goblin