#I know a lady good & evil

[caroldanversenthusiast]

oh lord

[starbiology]

careful, your childhood crushes can come back out of nowhere lol

[bugeyedfreaks]

What do you think? Does HIM from ppg ever had a crush or a love interest in ppg? Or HIM love boys or girls? I dont know. So what do you think?

I’m sure he goes every which way but in my heart he has his eyes on only one man alone:

[lavendarlingirl]

Professor Emma Anemone knows

Hear me out! Look at her face. At the expression. At the eyebrows move. SHE TOTALLY KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON AND I'M LIVING FOR IT

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Ok. I need to talk about S5E23: The Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding Present because it's a) a damn good episode and b) so filled with Blanche/Dorothy (and a good pinch of Golden Wives too) I can feel my gay power level increase minute by minute every time I watch it. Under a cut because I (unsurprisingly) got verbose about it.

First of all: the whole thing with Blanche 'lending' one of her men to Dorothy for the wedding. The concept alone is just -- I've said before, several times, that the Girls treat their men as accessories, and this episode just spells it out.

Dorothy doesn't really want a date per se, she's mostly upset because of social expectations:

"I still don't have a date for Jenny's wedding. My own goddaughter, and I'm gonna show up alone."

She's worried because weddings are events where you typically bring a +1 along, especially if you're closely related (either as family or via friendship) to one of the spouses. She's worried about the social norm! This is a bit of a general thing in the series, especially for Dorothy, I think; there are several instances when she's upset at not having a date for a specific event, rather than not dating in general. Plus, she gets over it fairly quickly! Before Blanche agrees to lend her the judge, she tells Sophia that she's just going to go alone!

Speaking of Blanche, look at how she describes her men! Here's some quotes:

"You can borrow one of my extras. What kind of guy would you like?"

"Oh, Dorothy, come on. Borrow one of my men. One of my many, many, many, many, many, many men!"

"Oh, Dorothy, not Doug! I couldn't possibly. He's on my A-list."

"Oh, Dorothy, let me get you somebody hot off my A-list. Somebody tall, good-looking, goes with everything!"

"Don't you forget, you be careful. This man is on loan from the Blanche Devereaux collection."

I mean -- she might as well be talking about a purse or a pair of shoes! (As a side note: yes, all those lines begin with 'Oh, Dorothy'. I checked.)

Dorothy fully embraces this point of view, too:

"You always do this, Blanche. You always keep all the good guys for yourself and you give us the leftovers."

She complains about Blanche's lack of generosity -- and this might just be my personal opinion, but generosity is usually connected to material things. Once again: she might as well be getting upset because Blanche refuses to let her borrow a purse.

Rose is the only one who's somewhat concerned at not having Miles as a +1, but it seems to me that's essentially because of the 'getting hot at weddings' thing. When she introduces the problem, we get this dialogue between her and Dorothy:

"Miles can't take me to the wedding. He's going to be out of town at a teaching seminar. Now I can't go."

"That shouldn't keep you from going."

"Oh, I have my reasons."

And then she says:

"So now you see why I can't go if Miles is gonna be out of town. I might end up almost going to bed with the caterer again."

It seems to me she's not that upset because of Miles's absence; she would have gone anyway without a care in the world if the event wasn't a wedding. She doesn't necessarily treat Miles like an accessory, but she's not particularly saddened by his absence, either -- just worried about the effect weddings have on her.

And then, with all this established: the toilet scene. When the scene returns on Dorothy keeping Blanche trapped in the toilet, there's already a couple of guests looking at them and whispering among themselves (which isn't strange at all: they're making A Scene™ right there in the ladies' room!). The whole fight has such an incredible Married Couple Quarrel energy:

"Dorothy, let me out of here right now!"

"There's only one way out, Blanche, and I don't think you can hold your breath long enough."

"You're just making a mountain out of a molehill."

"Five years of molehills. They add up."

"I didn't know Doug meant this much to you."

"I'm not talking about Doug, this is about you."

Talking to the small group of guests that gathered at the scene, she then adds:

"She asked me for another chance, I gave it to her. I trusted her. Biggest mistake I ever made."

Tell me those lines aren't the most married thing you've ever heard. I'm almost tempted to make a poll and ask people what they think about this quote; I'm sure at least a good 85% would assume this is being said by someone to their lover (or ex-lover, at least!).

Then the bride (because let's remember, this is all happening at a wedding) appears and likens the situation between Dorothy and Blanche to what's happening between her and the groom -- so we have a clear line drawn between Blanche/Dorothy and a committed romantic relationship. She calls Dorothy 'Aunt Dorothy', as is expected since Dorothy is her godmother, but she also calls Blanche 'Aunt Blanche', because... I don't know, there's no heterosexual explanation for it. Note that this girl invited Dorothy and Sophia to her wedding (no wonder: her godmother and her godmother's mother; they must be close) but she also invited Blanche and Rose, whom she technically has no relation to -- we have to assume they were invited because of their relation to Dorothy (she's possibly close to them too, considering she calls Blanche her 'aunt', but that's still due to their relation to Dorothy, of course). I mean -- would you invite your godmother's roommates to your wedding, as a general rule?

And!! After all this, the whole talking/not talking thing! Dorothy tells Jen:

"Jen, honey, I think you should go and talk to Joey. The best thing to do in any relationship is talk."

She says this right after she found an excuse to speak to Blanche in private and trapped her into a toilet because she wanted to talk:

"Listen, Blanche, we have to talk."

"Not now, Dorothy."

"Suit yourself."

"Dorothy, will you let me out of here?"

"No way, Blanche."

Once they turn to helping Jen and Blanche finally escapes the toilet, Dorothy is understandably upset and refuses to talk to her, and this makes Blanche very upset in turn. I'll let the dialogue speak for me on this one because there's no way I can say it any better:

"Dorothy, I wish you'd talk to me."

"..."

"I really do, 'cause what I need is a good talking-to."

"..."

"I don't care what you say, just so long as you care enough to say it."

"You stink."

"God bless you, Dorothy."

Yeah. Married. Blanche is so relieved and reassured once Dorothy starts talking to her again that she follows the conversation for just a little while after that (just as long as they're talking about Rose) and then immediately zones out again, because she's back in her comfort zone. Dorothy's talking to her! Dorothy forgave her! Everything's fine -- back to your regularly scheduled Blanche Devereaux™ content. (Note that she also pointedly does not dance with Doug after he comes back, even though he's from her A-list. This episode should have ended with a Blanche/Dorothy dance, if only to spite Doug.)

Rose is mostly busy dealing with her own thing in this one, but you all know I love the Golden Wives, so let me point out a couple of things:

Blanche and Dorothy (especially Dorothy) really do take care of Rose at the wedding! ... well, at the beginning of the party, at least. But they do genuinely try to reassure her! It's sweet! "Rose, honey, take it easy. Breathe deeply. It'll be all right." "Don't worry, honey. Nothing to worry about. We're here to look out for you." [...] "We're gonna have to keep an eye on her." "Hmm." We see her flirt with a couple of men during the party, but she only ends up going away with Doug and only while Dorothy and Blanche are having their little moment in the ladies' room, so it seems like they did keep her out of trouble after all! Until they got tangled up in their own thing, that is.

Right after they get out of the ladies' room (i.e., right after Dorothy tells Blanche 'I have nothing to say to you") Dorothy immediately notices that Rose isn't around, and talks to Blanche about it, despite the fact that she's supposedly not talking to her at all.

Blanche manages to keep her attention up as long as she and Dorothy worry about Rose, then gets immediately distracted by a man in the band. This exchange specifically is really touching to me: "Oh, I hope she can forgive us." "She will. That's what she does best." Just -- the complete certainty... my heart...

Blanche is really aggressive to Doug when he comes back! She was using every trick in her book to get him to act as her date earlier on, but as soon as she gets the hint that he took advantage of Rose, she immediately enters Protective Wife Mode™.

This line by Dorothy: "He must really be something." "So is Rose." This line? Said with the most affectionate smile in the world? Yeah. Yeah.

So anyway. I just spent like an hour and a half writing all this down, I love this episode, I adore these ladies and I am going to scream, thank you, goodbye.

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

I will literally never be over the fact that the Nevers make such a huge deal about uglification and their dean literally looks like this 

[discjude]

whatever afterlife exists in SGE must be the funniest shit ever imagine being some Jaunt Jolie peasant who gets a little too in the way of the Snake and dying only to see The Literal School Master cheering the Snake on. Imagine dying of like cholera or something and taking a little Ghost Vacation to Camelot and seeing the King of Camelot - who's dead, apparently - beating the shit out of some random other boy with weird eyes. imagine how flesh and blood went down. Do you think they all had popcorn for that

[twilightarcade]

if I was a character I would've gotten non binary headcannoned so hard

[hecksupremechips]

Can we just talk about Trunchbull and miss Honey from the Matilda movie musical I think we should discuss-

[florbelles]

finished hera & started lady macbeth and we have got to start blaming women for shit again for real

[confuseuniverse]

i dunno what i like the most abt this extract : lesso smashing ice w her stilettos , dovey bitching about emma, or dovey calling leo "lesso dear"

[dovessoiscanon]

Lesso: I prevented a murder today

Dovey: Really, how?

Lesso: Self control

[wurmwizzard]

I went to a little pottery festival in a small town close to mine this morning, and I obviously understand I'm a visually alt/queer looking person living in the deep south. Yes. I get that. But the whole time I felt like a horrible fart everyone was desperately trying to pretend they didn't smell. I had a lovely conversation with a Spanish lady I bought a mug from, but many of the vendors desperately avoided my eye contact, and a few flat out ignored me. Which is baffling, do you even want my money?? my scary gay money?

[milkbreadtoast]

im still watching kipo and the age of wonderbeasts and im almost done w s2 and it's so good... highly recommend it to anyone who wants a fun cartoon to watch!! highly recommend at least watching s1 (s2 is good so far too tho) it's a real treat to watch I enjoyed every ep... watched it in both eng and korean and it was fun both times *_* I would say the highlights are the music, animation, and fun chara designs... voice acting is good too!! (and the other language dubs are well done)

[musical-chick-13]

Like. Once again, I of ALL people understand what it's like to imprint on/relate to/be drawn to/care most about unpalatable or destructive or vicious characters who Aren't Good People, but, you know. I do have to ask why, for so many people, this NEVER seems to happen when those characters are women.

[that-bi-fan]

song lyrics that get stuck in my head on a regular basis. notice how some of them aren't correct. they get stuck like that.

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Weak & Strong & Wet & Dry & Right & Wrong & Live & Die & Sane & Gone & Love & Not & All the &s that we forgot so

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John & Yoko, Dark & Light, it's almost time to say goodnight to it (Ah-ah. Ah-ah-ah. Ah, ah, ah) I know a Lady, Good & Evil

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I wanna reach her, I wanna snap my fingers, and leave behind my body to burn. I wanna be her, I'm cracking all my fingers, I'll never be somebody till somebody gets hurt!

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& I know it's just the same (x3) & I feel...it's just the same

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let me say I'm fine. WITHOUT IT BEING A LIE.

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but for now. I am the WILLING VICTIM OF A CANNIBAL. SHE RIPS OUT MY BALLS BONES JUST LIKE I'M AN ANIMAL.

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shutup, you're stupid, just kiss me. shutup, you're stupid, just hold my friggin hand.

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somebody sell me something, somebody sell me something, I am numb and I feel nothing.

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TEARS OUT THE PAGES AS HE JUDGES THE COVER. AND SHAMELESSLY SPOILS THE END.

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THE EMPEROR'S NEW ALBUM IS FREE FROM COMMON CRITICS, BUT STILL, IT LIES VICTIM TO LOATHING.

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A noose that's tied so scarcely merely acts to keep you on your toes.

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