#I know it may not seem like it but Nadja is my favorite of the vampires lmao

[cookinguptales]

I think it’s interesting how you say that out of all the vampires, Nadja is the one that disrespects Guillermo the most(?) At least she calls him by his actual name lol. Laszlo continues to be a dick to him by still calling him Gizmo (even after everything Guillermo has done for him) and throughout the series has been verbal about his dislike towards him (including Colin, but I’m sure that’s going to change now with how supportive and loving Guillermo is being with him rn). But it’s weird cause at the same time it seems like Laszlo respects Guillermo in a way cause he trusted him (and his skills) enough to send him with his wife to protect her (and where he finally used his real name out of respect for the first time), but I guess that’s Laszlo for ya. I do feel that Laszlo is finally going to /actually/ start respecting Guillermo this season though, with helping him take care of reborn-Colin (the fact that Laszlo is even confiding with him for co-parenting is huge, cause he could have easily asked his wife to help him but he didn’t). Laszlo already admitted that Guillermo “was right” with his viewpoints about Colin’s upbringing in 4x03, so hopefully this thread of respecting Guillermo (not just from Laszlo but from all the other vampires) continues.

Actually, she Gizmos him kind of often haha. I think she respects him the least of the household because she acknowledges his talent the least. Nandor feels almost proud of Guillermo's slayer abilities sometimes (like when he bragged that he'd killed the Baron) and Laszlo obviously trusted in his abilities enough to protect Nadja. Even before he died, Colin Robinson did seem to have a weird soft spot for Guillermo. (Like when he thought for a second that Nandor had killed him and he was like ???)

I don't think Laszlo likes Guillermo, but he respects him. There's a difference. He's willing to acknowledge his ability to protect Nadja and his skill with Colin Robinson. He understands, perhaps more savvily than any other vampire there, that Guillermo knows how to do things that they do not. He knows that Guillermo is extremely capable, smart, and stubborn, and has a canniness to him that lets him figure the tough things out. He's also willing to defer to Guillermo in matters of childrearing, so let's say that he respects his skills in empathy as well. He's more willing to give Guillermo important responsibilities than anyone else in the house -- and will force him to do those things even if he has to lock him in a crate. He was also totally chill with letting Guillermo wander around the Council's library, so he trusted him not to wreak any havoc lmao.

And then there's Nadja, who I'd really hoped would bond with him more in Europe. lmao. I'm not sure if she even had a reason to ship Guillermo home instead of just letting him fly? It's unclear if he had to be tricked into going back. She seems to like him more than a generic familiar these days (see: Doctor Tom) but she still treats him more like a pet she doesn't actually care for that much. Or maybe a possession, but far from her favorite...

She's by far the most likely to scream at him until he does what she wants (even if he's already doing it) and the one who probably cares least if he dies. I don't think she respects Guillermo very much at all, truthfully. She sees him as potentially useful at times, but she kind of seems like she half-expects him to die any time they let him do something dangerous and she's fine with that. (See: how fine she was using him as bait for the Sire.) I think she sometimes kind of sees him as cannon fodder that does the housework. But she does like him more than she used to, I think. So that's... hopeful, I guess? lmao

[flightfoot]

Friendship and Uncertainty

AO3 Thanks to @oblivionhold for betaing!

Marinette really didn't have a lot of great options in Prime Queen. She couldn't tell Nadja and her parents "Oh yeah, sorry, I double-booked myself as Ladybug, my bad! Guess my parents are gonna have to babysit instead!" And if she'd tried to make up an excuse about being busy, with how last-minute it was and how urgently Nadja needed childcare, I don't think her parents would've accepted it.

Her only viable alternative option would've been to cancel her interview with Nadja at the last-minute, citing some last-minute conflict with her civilian schedule. She could've transformed during a bathroom break, texted Chat, and told him as much, leaving him to interview with Nadja alone. I'd argue that this would've been the most responsible option, but not necessarily the best one. With how much the network was pressuring her, Nadja may have landed in hot water if she couldn't get one of her guests on, and Chat would've been disappointed as well.

The plan Marinette came up with in canon was her best shot at fulfilling all her responsibilities without anyone being mad or disappointed or hung out to dry. Manon got looked after by someone Marinette knew was a good babysitter, she got to go to the interview, and no one would have any clue things were remiss... at least, that was her plan. In canon, things got dicey for a bit with Alya calling into the show, but ultimately no one discovered Marinette had left the premises, and everyone was mostly happy.

But it was risky, and things could easily have gone wrong. Hence, this story.

It gives me a good reason to explore Alya feeling hurt and exploring her emotions while sticking closely to canon. There aren't a lot of fics that do that.

--------

“Where is she?” 

Alya looked down at Manon. Nadja was worried about Marinette not being in the picture when she called, and she couldn’t blame her. Bringing over a friend to help babysit as well, or taking over babysitting momentarily while the hired babysitter was busy was one thing, but this was getting ridiculous.

Marinette had seemed weirdly anxious about talking to her parents. She’d chalked it up to Marinette being nervous about whatever she’d needed to tell them, but…

She let out a frustrated sigh. Marinette hadn’t even told her why she needed to talk to them so urgently. It almost felt like she was making up an excuse to ditch her with Manon.

“Marinette wouldn’t do that,” Alya murmured to herself. “She’d tell me if she needed me to cover for her, right?”

But the thought wouldn’t leave her brain.

Manon yawned.

Gears turned in Alya’s head. “Hey Manon, before you fall asleep, how about we go downstairs so you can use the bathroom?”

“I’m not gonna fall asleep!” Manon said, yawning again. But she stood up shakily and headed for the stairs, following Alya.

-----

As Alya waited for Manon to finish in the bathroom near the kitchen, she heard a soft humming coming from the kitchen. Seizing on the opportunity, she hurried over (while keeping near enough that she could still hear when Manon opened the bathroom door).

“Ah, Alya!” Tom greeted her. “Did you kids need some snacks?”

“No, but-” Oh what the hell, why not? “Actually, that sounds great.”

“Anything for my daughter! And her friends of course,” he said, cheerily grabbing a few of hers and Marinette’s favorite cookies. 

“Speaking of Marinette, what’d she want to talk to you about?” she said, as casually as she could manage.

“She wanted to talk to me about something?” Tom asked, sounding perplexed.

“Maybe I just misheard her,” Alya said hastily. “I was playing with Manon and things got a little loud.”

Tom looked troubled. “Well, just let her know that if she needs to talk to me about anything, her papa is always willing to lend an ear.” She could almost see a lightbulb turn on above Tom’s head. “Oh! I’ve got a batch of Marinette’s favorite cookies in the oven right now! They should be ready in about twenty minutes. If you can send her down then, we can talk this out, see what’s troubling her! And if it was a mistake, well, I’ll never say no to watching her face when she bites into a strawberry macaron.”

Alya slapped on a smile. “Will do!”

The toilet flushed. 

“That’s my cue to leave. Thanks, Mr. Dupain!”

“Anytime!”

She walked to the bathroom on autopilot.

Marinette had lied.

------

“I’m so sorry Alya! I had no idea it would take so long to talk to my parents!” 

Alya didn’t look at her. “What did you guys talk about?” she asked tonelessly.

“Uh, you know… family stuff,” Marinette sounded nervous. 

Alya turned to her. “Marinette, I know you weren’t with your parents.”

“I- uh-”

“I went downstairs earlier and asked your dad what you two talked about, but he said he didn’t talk to you at all. Your dad wanted me to tell you that if you need to talk with him about anything, he’s willing to lend an ear. The batch of strawberry macarons he was making should be ready by now.” Her voice sounded dead, even to her own ears.

“Alya, I’m- I’m really sorry-”

She took a deep breath. “I’m not ready to talk with you about it right now,” she said evenly. “If I do, I might raise my voice, and I don’t want Manon to see us fighting.”

Marinette winced, glancing at the sleeping girl.

“Um… could we talk tomorrow…?” Marinette asked, sounding small. 

Alya nodded stiffly. Not like she could avoid it, tomorrow was a school day. 

As she headed down the ladder, she paused and looked up, “Oh, and Marinette?”

“Yes?”

“I didn’t let anyone know you left. I’m still not happy you ditched me, but I didn’t rat you out.”

Marinette’s eyes widened and she started to stammer something. Alya shut the hatch.

Alya squeezed her eyes tight, letting out a small sob.

At that last moment, she’d been tempted to stay. To hear Marinette out. To see whether maybe, maybe, she had a good explanation. Some sort of excuse.

But she couldn’t.

If she stayed, with Marinette looking at her like that, clearly hurting… she wouldn’t be able to stay mad at her. Not when she felt worse than Alya herself did.

Alya wasn’t ready to let go of her anger and hurt yet. Not so soon.

Pausing only to text Nora that she was heading home, she hurried out the door.

------

“Little sis?”

Alya quickly wiped her eyes, trying to compose herself before Nora saw her.

It didn’t work.

“What happened? Who hurt you?” Nora asked, grabbing her shoulders. 

“No one!”

Even to her own ears, it sounded false.

Nora frowned. “Really? Your eyes are red, and I can see the tear streaks on your cheeks. You really expect me to believe that?”

She looked away.

“Hey, look, little sis-” Nora said softly.

“Don’t call me that.” She couldn’t muster up the energy to put any heat behind her words. 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Promise not to go after her?”

Nora blinked. “Her? ...wait, you were just at Baguette’s place- did something happen with Marinette?”

“Promise me,” she insisted.

Nora grimaced, before sighing. “Fiiiiine. Can I at least yell at her?”

“No. I want to handle this myself.”

“If you’re sure, little sis.”

Alya made a face, but explained what’d happened. How Marinette had called her over, ditched her with an excuse about her parents, how she’d learned Marinette was lying, everything.

“-and I just. I don’t understand why,” she finished. “I help her out all the time! Heck, I’ve even helped babysit Manon before! Why’d she lie to me?” She looked down at her lap, her fists tightening as she squeezed her pants legs, needing to get energy out. “I just- I feel used.”

Nora pulled her into a tight hug. She leaned into the pressure, listening to her sister’s heartbeat.

“Remember back in Martinique, with Maya?” Alya murmured.

“The neighbor girl?”

Alya nodded. “We played together a lot when I was a little. But sometimes… sometimes she’d get demanding, saying that if I didn’t do what she wanted - play some game she wanted, pick a role she wanted me to, whatever - she’d say that if I didn’t do it, she wouldn’t be friends with me anymore. There weren’t a lot of other kids my age in the area, so I agreed.” She gave a small smile. “Until one time she went too far. I stormed home in tears, scared that she wouldn’t play with me anymore, but not able to take it anymore.” Taking in a deep, shuddering breath, she continued. “You know what Mom did when she heard? When I told her how afraid I was that Maya wouldn’t want to play with me anymore? She told me to just wait. Less than an hour later Maya was knocking at the door, asking if I would come out to play. I stopped being afraid of her threat after that, and she stopped using it. I could say no.”

“I’m guessing this feels similar?” Nora said.

Alya nodded. “But it’s also weird! With Maya I understood what she was after. With Marinette, I don’t. Did she just really not want to babysit? Where’d she even go? And why-” Alya hesitated. “Why did she risk this? What was so important? Marinette, she- she doesn’t always think through other people’s feelings, but she DOES care about people! She doesn’t like hurting others! So why-”

Nora shook her head. “It’s no use speculating, you’ll just get your head turning ‘round and ‘round in circles ‘til you don’t know up from down. Just ask her tomorrow.”

Biting her lip, Alya sighed. “You’re right. Of course you’re right. I just don’t know how I’ll sleep tonight after all this.”

Nora smiled, pulling out a DVD from… okay she really wanted to know when Nora had hollowed out a copy of the Lord of the Rings trilogy collection, because on the one hand that was SUPER cool, and on the other hand it physically hurt her to see a book damaged like that. 

“I was saving this for your birthday,” Nora said, oblivious to Alya’s crisis, “But I think you need it now.”

She looked at the movie, letting out an inhumanly high-pitched squeal. “Majestia’s Early Days - Collector’s Edition?! How’d you even get this? I camped out on the website all day trying to snag a copy! They sold out in seconds,” she scowled, “Damn scalpers.”

Nora laughed. “Having fans can really come in handy. After one of my matches, I mentioned how bummed out my little sis was about not being able to get her hands on a copy. The next day one of my regular fans handed this to me, said he hoped you’d enjoy it.”

“If you see him again, tell him that he’s a wonderful person with excellent taste in boxers!”

Nora laughed, grinning from ear-to-ear. Alya bet her own grin dwarfed even Nora’s. 

“Let’s watch Majestia kick some ass.”

-----

“Alya? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” 

Nino lifted an eyebrow. “You’ve been staring down at the floor for the past minute, looking like your dogs just got kidnapped by subterranean monsters and you’re trying to figure out how to get them back and why they’d want them in the first place.”

She stifled a laugh. “You come up with that for one of your movie scripts?”

He adjusted his cap, grinning proudly. “No, but now that you mention it…”

“Do you even know anyone with a dog?”

“Maybe a shelter would help out? They’re always looking for more exposure. We could put a note during the credits that the pups are available for adoption!”

Hm… she could advertise their film on her blog too, maybe ask whether any of her readers worked at a local dog shelter…

“We could talk to Marinette, see whether she’d be up for making a monster costume! Or if she’s too busy, Halloween’s coming up and- Alya?”

She blinked, only just now noticing how tightly she’d been squeezing her shirt in her hands. “I’m- I’m fine.”

Nino frowned. “No, you’re not.”

She looked away. 

Nino slid into the seat next to her. “Look. I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s clearly hurting you. If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand. If you just want to go back to talking about something unrelated to it, something fun, to keep your mind off it, I’m happy to oblige. But I’m always here to lend an ear if you need it.”

She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Marinette called me over last night, wanted me to watch the Ladybug and Chat Noir interview with her. She also happened to be babysitting Manon, and thought it’d be more fun if we were all there together. Everything was fine at first,” she said, fidgeting. “I played around with Manon for a bit, Marinette got some pillows to lay on, and we got set up to watch the interview. Then Marinette said she needed to talk to her parents and that she might be gone for a while.”

She let out a humorless chuckle. “I waited for a while, but… no Marinette. Finally, I went downstairs and checked with her dad. He didn’t know anything about it. As far as he knew, she’d been upstairs in her room with me the entire time. Marinette came back a little while later, pretending that her talk with her parents had gone super long and I just… I couldn’t deal with it. I left. I said I’d talk with her about it today, but…”

“But you don’t feel ready now either?” Nino guessed.

She nodded. “I just keep on turning it around and around in my head. It doesn’t make sense. Sure, Marinette makes up excuses and disappears sometimes, but…” Something niggled in the back of her brain. “Hey Nino,” she asked carefully, trying to catch the strand of thought. “Has Marinette always been like this? Running off at a moment’s notice with fake-sounding reasons?”

Nino scratched his head. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “We’ve been in classes before, but we weren’t exactly close. I don’t think so? I think I would’ve noticed that. Not like we had akuma attacks distracting us last year.”

“Akuma attacks...” she murmured to herself.

There it was again. That niggling sensation, but even stronger this time. 

*Slam*

Marinette threw the classroom door open, pinwheeling her arms as she struggled to regain her balance. 

“AAAAAAH-”

At the last second as she fell backwards, Adrien seemed to almost teleport through the door, catching her.

Nino smiled. “I swear Adrien has a ‘Marinette falling’ sense. He always arrives just in time to catch her.”

Alya snorted. “Now if only he had a ‘Marinette feeling’ sense.”

Frowning, Alya tried to grasp onto the threads of thought from before, but they’d scampered with the distraction. 

“...Can I sit here?” a soft voice asked.

Alya jumped a little, then scolded herself. She’d just seen Marinette arrive, she shouldn’t be able to startle her less than a minute later.

Nino got up slowly, giving Marinette a hard look, but moving to his regular seat without comment.

Marinette didn’t move. 

Oh. Marinette was waiting for her permission, not just for Nino to leave.

“Sure. I mean, you sat here first,” Alya said. “I’m not the Queen of Seats.”

Marinette snorted at the reference, the edges of her mouth twitching upwards.

Alya narrowed her eyes. She hadn’t noticed before, but from this close, she could see the bags under eyes, along with a slight puffiness.

Guilt settled in her stomach. She was pretty sure she knew why Marinette wouldn’t have gotten enough sleep, why she would’ve been crying.

“But she broke my trust!” part of her screamed. “She lied to me, used me!”

She still didn’t like seeing her friend hurt.

“So?” She asked as Marinette slid into her seat.

“So what?” Marinette asked nervously.

Alya narrowed her eyes. 

Marinette bit her lip. “I- I’m not sure what to say. I- I lied to you. You’re right. I called you over because I’d accidentally double-booked myself, but I couldn’t just TELL Nadja that and I couldn’t cancel on no notice, so I just… came up with what I thought was the best solution. Manon would get taken care of, Nadja, Mom, and Dad wouldn’t know anything unusual had happened, and I’d be back before you noticed anything was wrong. Everyone would be happy! At least, that’s what I planned…” she petered off, looking away.

She could get what Marinette was thinking now, when she called her over. Sometimes you couldn’t do the things you wanted without disappointing someone, without someone being upset with you. But if you lined things up just right, you might not need to upset anyone - so long as they never found out what you’d done. 

It still stung that Alya had been the tool she used to solve her problem, but at least she understood Marinette’s thought process. 

“What was so important?” she asked. “What was so vital that you had to sneak out, even if it meant lying to your friends and family?”

Marinette flinched. “I- I have to,” she whispered. “I don’t have a choice.”

Alarm bells rang in Alya’s head. “What do you mean?” she said urgently. “Is someone threatening you? Marinette, are you in danger?”

“No!” She thought for a moment. “Yes? Kind of? Not- not the way you’re thinking of!” she added hastily.

She didn’t know what she was thinking. Drugs? Gangs? A cult that’d ensnared Marinette in its clutches?

“Can I have your attention please?” Ms. Bustier said.

Alya turned to the front of the class, head still spinning. She still wasn’t totally sure how she felt about what Marinette had done, but she had bigger worries.

Something was wrong with Marinette. 

-----

That girl could be slippery when she wanted to be. 

She managed to avoid talking to Alya for the rest of Bustier’s class, not responding to any note-passing and hurrying out of the classroom the second the bell rang. With Marinette going home for lunch she had little opportunity to talk to her then, and as for their next period… Alya may be brave, but she wasn’t stupid. No talking in Ms. Mendeleiv’s class.

With a sigh, she watched Marinette run out of Francois-Dupont, somehow managing to take the stairs two at a time without falling. Clearly whatever it was, Marinette didn’t want to talk about it. 

But if it was hurting her…

She shook her head. She’d been thinking about this all day. It was time to get her mind off it, do something else. 

Nodding, she turned towards the park. Maybe some time climbing trees would help take her mind off things. And if it didn’t, it’d at least give her practice catching her siblings when they inevitably got themselves stuck in some high-up area. She could swear they had teleportation skills that they’d been hiding their whole lives just to prank the rest of the family with.

Chuckling to herself, she almost missed the flash of red out of the corner of her eye.

She whipped around. “Ladybug?!” 

The superhero froze, looking caught out. “Alya!” she said, sounding strangled. “What’re you doing here?” 

She shrugged. “Just enjoying the weather,” she said, pulling out her phone. “Would you be up for another interview?”

Ladybug started shaking her head before she even finished the sentence. “No, NOPE, nada, absolutely not!” she said, making an “X” with her arms for emphasis. “Not after yesterday. Not happening.”

She stashed her phone. “You just want to talk off the record then?”

The superheroine’s eyes widened a fraction. She nodded. “There’s… there’s something I could use your advice on.”

Something fluttered in Alya’s chest. Her idol needed her help? “I’ll do what I can,” she said, more confidently than she felt.

After going to a secluded part of the park, Ladybug turned to her. “You know a lot about superheroes right? About how we have to maintain a double life?”

Alya nodded. “It’s a comic book staple. Often causes a lot of trouble for the hero, but not as much as having their identity leaked to the world.”

“Yeah, I know what that trouble’s like,” Ladybug muttered to herself. Speaking more loudly, she looked at Alya. “I- I messed up. Badly. I forgot that I’d-” She paused. “Sorry, I need to be careful about this. I don’t want to expose myself.”

Alya nodded. 

After a minute, Ladybug tried again. “I needed to do something as Ladybug, but as a civilian, I’d already agreed to another responsibility at the same time,” she said carefully. “I couldn’t tell anyone that I needed to do something Ladybug-related without spilling my secret identity, but I also couldn’t get out of my civilian responsibility so I- I tricked someone into doing it instead. And they found out and they’re mad at me and I can’t BLAME them but I can’t tell them everything and I just don’t know what to do!” She looked at Alya pleadingly.

Her stomach twisted. “Seems to be a lot of deception going on lately,” she muttered, surprising even herself with how bitter she sounded. She blinked as Ladybug winced. 

Stop projecting your feelings about the sleepover onto Ladybug’s situation, they’re not the same! She scolded herself.

What would she do in Ladybug’s shoes? She couldn’t tell anyone her identity. She’d still want to be friends with this person. Just heaping on lies would make it worse when those came to light, alienating the friend (or former friend) even further.

“Have you explained as much as you could why you did it without giving away your secret identity?” Alya asked slowly. “Just… let them know that you do care about them, that you didn’t lie to them lightly, that you care about your feelings and you didn’t have a lot of options.” Ah, screw it. Maybe it was just because it’d been recent and she was still hurting and worried, but perhaps hearing it would help Ladybug with her own friend problems. “One of my friends recently tricked me into covering for her,” she said. “I’m still not sure why.”

“O-oh, really?” Ladybug said… nervously? Probably because it reminded her of her own friend.

“She vaguely explained to me why,” she continued. “What she was thinking and feeling at the time. She had another commitment too, but she didn’t tell me what it was.” She let out a deep sigh. “At least she didn’t lie about it - I think. I’d rather she not tell me, than lie about it.” A pebble sat near her shoe. Absentmindedly, she kicked it. “With how distraught she was when she explained it... I think she was sincere. That she doesn’t view me as a tool. That she was just in a tough spot,” she said. “That helps a lot.”

“I- I did explain,” Ladybug said, hope lifting her voice. “I think she believed me.”

Alya nodded. “In that case… I don’t think there’s much more you can do. Give her space, and try to avoid doing it again if you can.” She bit her lip. “Which might not be totally under your control considering Hawkbutt.” 

Ladybug stifled a giggle. 

She gave a small smile, snorting at her own joke. “Anyway, could I ask you a favor? So long as you don’t have any other commitments already, I don’t want to land you in hot water with anyone else,” she added hastily.

“Nothing to do with the Ladyblog, right?” Ladybug asked suspiciously.

As much as she’d like that… “No,” she said, shaking her head. “Actually, it has to do with a friend of mine. You know Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”

“Uh- NOPE never heard that name in my life! Who’s Marinette?” Ladybug said hastily, gesticulating wildly.

Huh. Weird. She could’ve sworn that Marinette had mentioned meeting Ladybug before, but come to think of it, she couldn’t remember a single instance of Marinette and Ladybug being in the same place at the same time-

Never mind, there was that time with Alix’s race. But if that was the only time, no wonder Ladybug didn’t remember her. She wasn’t even sure that anyone had said Marinette’s name while Ladybug was within earshot.

Aaaaaand there was that niggling sensation again. She wished it’d either divulge what it was getting at or leave her alone. 

She whipped out her phone, pulling up a picture she and Marinette had taken together a couple months ago. “Marinette’s my best friend,” she said, surprising herself with how sure she sounded. “We’re going through a bit of a rough patch right now, but… well, I’m still worried about her. She was the one who lied to me yesterday, and when I confronted her about it, she said something about not having a choice. It sounds like she’s in danger but she won’t tell me from what, and I’m not sure what could be the problem and… I’m just worried.” Looking up from her phone, she locked eyes with the superhero. “Could you check up on her, please? Maybe she’d talk to you even if she wouldn’t talk to me. And- and even if she doesn’t, I’d feel better if a superhero was looking out for her.”

“You really care about her, huh?,” Ladybug said, giving her a soft smile. “Even though you’re fighting.”

She nodded. “I’m not happy with her, and there are some things we still need to work out, but- yeah. I want to make sure she’s okay.”

“You’re a good friend, Alya. I’m sure she’s fine, but I’ll look after her as best I can.”

“Buginette?” a boy’s voice called. A black figure landed next to Ladybug, crouched in the classic superhero landing pose, one knee bent, one hand punching the ground.

Oooh, new Ladyblog idea! Top ten Chat Noir poses! Seriously, that cat could be a model with the way he effortlessly mugged for the camera.

Ladybug groaned. “Did I forget the time already?” 

“It’s fine,” Chat said, resting his stick on his shoulders. “Waiting made seeing you all the sweeter.”

The spotted heroine groaned again, for a different reason this time. Alya saw the corners of her lips quirk upwards ever-so-slightly, belying her annoyance. “Come on, you alley cat. Race you to the Tower!”

“Oh, you’re on!” 

Alya watched them run off. Well, pole vault and swing off, but you know. Semantics.

Turning around, she headed back home.

She had an article to write.

-----

Alya hummed as she walked into class, glancing at her phone. The Chat article had been a major hit, garnering several dozen comments within a few hours of posting, including from a user called “TheCatsMeow” who seemed weirdly invested in convincing everyone that Chat definitely had no experience modeling and his on-point posing was entirely due to natural talent and charisma. People picked the weirdest hills to die on. She’d been joking when she proposed that he was secretly a supermodel, but after having defended the possibility in a ten-commment-long exchange, she was starting to seriously consider it. Hm, maybe Adrien would have an idea of a possible identity lead…

“Oooof!”

“Augh!”

Note to self: Don’t walk while looking at your phone. Sure she never listened when Mom told her that, but maybe this time she’d have the self-control to hold off! Optimism!

“Sorry,” she said instinctively. And blinked. “Marinette? You’re EARLY?!”

She should text her mom to buy a lottery ticket.

“Yeah,” Marinette said, chuckling nervously. She seemed to be in much better shape this time. A little down, but it looked like she’d gotten some decent sleep. “I- I just thought- if you wanted to talk- never mind. You need space.”

Suspicions percolated in her mind. “I should go to the restroom before class starts. How about you?”

Marinette’s head whipped up. “Yeah, sure, better to be safe than sorry. You know me, always needing to race to the toilet!” She rubbed the back of her neck.

“Every other akuma attack it seems like,” Alya said, walking down the hallway with her friend. “I swear, something about it being an inconvenient time makes you need to go even more.”

“Yep, that’s totally the reason!” Marinette agreed.

They walked for a moment in silence while she tried to gather her thoughts. “You know about my advice to Ladybug, don’t you?” she said at last.

“Ack-!” Marinette tripped on air, but managed to save herself at the last second. “Uh, no, that’s ridiculous, how could I know about that? It’s not like I was there or anything.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “Uh huh. And it’s pure coincidence that you concluded I needed space the day after I gave that advice to Ladybug to help with her own friend problem?”

“Uuuuuh…” Marinette looked off to the side, before releasing a long sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. Ladybug talked to me last night, and well… your conversation came up. I figured our problems were similar enough, and you were the one giving the advice, so… maybe if I followed it, we could make up?”

Marinette wanted to go back to normal, to laugh and joke and just.. enjoy each other’s company again. And Alya… she wanted that too. 

She knew Marinette hadn’t meant to hurt her. And she understood why Marinette had done what she’d done. 

Well, except for what prompted Marinette to need to lie in the first place. She just had a gut feeling it was a cult, some sort of secret society. She was sure Miraculous had been around for awhile, that several historical figures had used them, and she could just bet that there was some sort of secret group watching over them from the shadows. She just needed a thread to follow, something that could lead her back to the guardians-

NOT THE TIME, BRAIN.

Abruptly, she stopped. “I- I want that too,” she said softly. “I don’t like fighting. I want my friend back.” She gave Marinette a hard look. “If Ladybug told you my advice, then you already know what I’m about to say. I don’t like being lied to - not like that. Not as part of a manipulation. You had your reasons, I get that, but I don’t think I could take that a second time. Unless someone’s in danger if you don’t, please, don’t lie to me. If you can’t tell me something or why you’re asking me to do a thing, just tell me that. I can’t promise to like it, but it’s better than being tricked.”

Marinette bit her lip and nodded. “I think- yeah. Yeah, I can do that,” she said, gaining confidence.

Alya smiled. “In that case…” she took off. “Race you to the bathrooms!”

“Hey, no running in the halls!” Marinette said, but her laughter undercut her words. As did her immediately overtaking Alya.

Girl could move fast when she wanted to.

------

(Several months later)

“And I… I’m Ladybug”

“This makes everything make so much more sense.”

[a-mirror-of-memories]

Ml prompts (salt edition)

As I promised, this are just some of the plots for fics that I been thinking, a few for a while, others today or this week. Not all of them involve Lila, and even in those she’s not always the focus (Not all of them can be considered ‘salt’ exactly, while others can be labeled as ‘actions have consequences’).

In case anyone want to use them this are the rules (I can made them since this are my ideas):

First of all I want to be tagged for the original idea.

No OOC or bashing of any character (except Gabriel).

No Alya salt unless it’s minimum and only if she’s redeemed at the end. She already gets more than enough hate from the fandom.

Other than that, please refrain of using any of the tropes mentioned in this post:

Max has a crush on Lila, that’s why he keeps believing everything she says (I thought this long before the twitter comment; besides it says that Max’s asexual, not aromatic).

Kim wants to be supporting since she’s his best friend’ first love, even if he doesn’t believe all of her tales (he’s not ruining his chances to become an Olympic medalist following a training regimen that Lila insist ‘was created for my great uncle, a platinum medalist’).

Alix’s getting sick of Lila, if she wanted to hear some self-insert bad fanfic she would spend more time with her brother.

Juleka wants to believe Lila and follows her advices about 'how to be a good model’ until her family intervenes.

After getting several comments complaining of how the Ladyblog’s really unorganized, Alya finally decide to create a side blog (Miracutales) for all the fan-arts and fanfics links her followers keep sending her, and with Nora’s help she spends a whole afternoon fixing her blog. When Lila’s finally exposed the blogger freaks out until her sister comments “Wait, that interview? I send it to your fanfic blog ages ago”.

Lila going on and on to Mylene about a movie actor the other admires, how they’re 'like this’ and that 'I can introduce you to him, he thinks of me as his niece’. Meanwhile the rainbow haired girl’s just nodding with a forced smile while the Italian keep spewing bullshit about her favorite theater actress.

Nino barging into Marinette’s room dragging his little brother, saying that she needed to watch over him on his place since he has a date with Alya. Cue to Alya clearing her throat from the other side of the room, where they were working on a school project.

Lila stole Nathaniel’s sketchbook the day before an important meeting and hid it in Marinette’s locker. Ignoring almost the whole class insistence that she didn’t do it, that anyone could’ve put it in there since there’s no locks, he grabbed her own sketchbook from her bag and ripped it into pieces to everyone’s horror. Marc saw this and he’s akumatized; once it’s all over he still ends their partnership*

*Although cruel, I don’t believe that this is so out of character for Nathaniel. He already has proven to have serious anger issues in Reverser and Evilustrador (While I don’t hold him responsible for what he did under Gabriel’s control, comparing him to other akumas wanting to get revenge of Chloe it’s worrying how much pleasure he seemed to find while tormenting her).

Adrien keep blowing off plans to hang out with his friends to go away as Chat Noir, using the excuse that his father keep adding things to his schedule. One day after he canceled once again, saying that he has a last minute photo shoot, the boys are hanging out in the park where they cross with Vincent. He tells them that he’s the only photograph that Gabriel Agreste trust to work with his son, and that Mr. Agreste was away on a trip for the weekend so Adrien’s schedule was pretty much free until his father came back.

It’s election time again and the Mayor’s opposition has a new slogan: “If he can’t even control his daughter, how can we trust him to protect this city best interest?”

Someone as a joke proposed Xavier Ramier (Mr. Pidgeon) as Mayor. He won.

Felix GV returns and once again pretends to be his cousin. He’s dragged into a photo shoot with Lila; he may be a bastard who hates his uncle and he may be annoyed with Adrien but he still has standards.

With the end of the school year near Alya’s just relieved that since they’ll start Lycée they wouldn’t have to deal with Chloe and Bustier (with her fairytales for assignments) ever again. Until a conversation with Marinette.

“What do you mean we would have Bustier again next year? We’re done with Francoise Dupond! She was your teacher for five years in a row*?! That woman is an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER??!”

*Until Chat Blanc Marinette’s been in Chloe class for five years now, at least four of them with Bustier according to picture’s day. Their class’ in middle school a.k.a three years so…well, that explains a lot about her teaching methods.

Marinette decides to let go of her crush on Adrien (not bashing), and with Alya supporting her choice (even if she doesn’t totally agree with giving up) Rose becomes the new captain of the Adrienette ship; trying to get them together against her friend wishes.

After discovering Hawk Moth’s identity Marinette decides she’ll never be like him and toss aside her dream of be a famous fashion designer. She either finds a new dream or simply opens just a small store away from the spotlight, with sporadic commission for people she’s close to.

At last, I like to call this section’s “Responsible Adults (Are trying their best)”

Marinette doesn’t know every celebrity under the sun, only Jagged, Nadja and maybe Clara. Gina Dupain, world traveler extraordinary, however has a rare gift when it comes to meeting new people by chance without knowing who they are*. 

(“I sat beside this guy once in a plane, he was such a charming young man. Here, there’s a pic” “Nonna that was *insert celebrity here*!” “Who?”)

*This in the only kind of celebrity insert I would aprove.

Surprise inspection from the French educational department (whatever it’s called), some heads are going to roll.

Officer Raincomprix at first was happy that Sabrina stopped hanging out with Chloe and made a real friend; then he realized that this girl was even worse than the Mayor’s daughter.

The school nurse accidentally cause an international affair after calling the Italian Embassy asking why the Ambassador’s daughter didn’t have the proper vaccines for all the travels she keep claiming to have made.

After seeing Nathalie faint in the middle of a car drive, a worried Gorilla brings her to the ER. While checking her vitals (she’s still unconscious) a nurse accidentally knocks her brooch out of her coat, and while putting it back a strange creature materialize in front of them.

“Any of you has Ladybug in speed dial?”

One of the Agreste servants (let’s be honest, how else would that place stay clean) discovers Hawk Moth secret lair.

“I don’t get paid enough for this”.

[chelsfic]

Leftovers - Part 12/12 - Nandor the Relentless x Female Reader Fanfic

For Previous Parts: WWDITS Masterlist

Summary: The reader shares her last night alive with her new family.

A/N: I realized as I was writing this that this whole fic could really be read as an elongated metaphor for my falling in love with this show and this fandom. I hope you guys like this ending and aren’t disappointed. 

Warnings: Angst, Emotions, Crack humor, Turning into a vampire

---

It’s an hour after sunset and you can hear your housemates stirring. You’re still lying in bed. The ceiling overhead is cracked and peeling in places. You suppose this probably won’t be your bedroom for much longer. Nandor will want you to move into his crypt. Will you have your own coffin? Or will he want to keep sharing? How does one even purchase a coffin for...personal use?

You know you’re stalling. Nandor is being uncharacteristically patient, but he won’t wait all night. You’re not afraid. Okay, you’re afraid. But, you’d be stupid not to be. You saw Guillermo during his transition. He looked like hell for about three whole days. But you know Nandor will take care of you. Well, strike that. You know Nandor will try to take care of you and if he fails, Nadja and Guillermo will be there. 

The night you met...the night you almost became a meal...was your birthday. So much has happened since then. You’ve been kept prisoner, fed upon, attacked, hurt. You’ve also fallen in love with every vampire in this crazy house, even Colin Robinson, bless his heart. Nandor and his bizarre mix of vicious lust and achingly sweet softness has somehow pulled you into this world, into a place you’ve always belonged without even knowing it. So, yeah, you’re afraid. But the idea of not spending every night for the rest of eternity surrounded by these beautiful, damaged, stupid idiots is even more frightening.

A knock comes at your door and Nadja’s voice trills, “Hello, human? May I come in?”

You roll onto your side and sit up, dangling your bare legs over the edge of the bed. You’re wearing one of your few dresses because...well, because you’re going to die tonight and shouldn’t you dress up a little?

Nadja slips inside looking resplendent and deadly as always. She gives you a sympathetic smile and comes to sit next to you.

“Feeling a little nervous about our unholy transition, are we?” she ducks her head and gives you that mama-vampire-knows-best look of hers.

You lean your shoulder into hers, taking comfort in her presence.

“Maybe a little…” you admit. “I’m not having second thoughts or anything it’s just…”

“A little spooky wooky, yes?” Nadja supplies. She wraps her arm around your back and pulls you closer. “Don’t concern your head off, darling. I don’t know if you realize this but I am considered a bit of an expert. I’ve turned many, many humans in my time. Including my dear Laszlo. I’ll make sure Nandor does not slip up and accidentally make you into a zombie monstrosity like my poor Topher.”

You rear back and stare at Nadja with horror stricken eyes, “That’s a possibility!??”

Nadja chuckles and tweaks your nose, “I am giving you sarcasm! To lighten the mood! It’s working, yes?”

You let out a long-suffering sigh that hiccups into nervous laughter.

“I love you, Nadja,” you say with sudden, overwhelming emotion. You dive forward and wrap your arms around her in a fierce hug.

Nadja is stricken for a moment and she pats your back gingerly, “That’s...very nice. You think you want to come downstairs now? Because Nandor is being a real donkey dick down there waiting for you, but his balls are too shriveled to come up here and get you himself.”

You laugh and pull back from the hug, wiping tears from your eyes, “Yeah, let’s go. I’m ready.”

---

“SURPRISE!” 

“HAPPY DEATHDAY!”

“SMASHLEY’S IN DA HOUSE!”

“What’s crack-a-lackin’?”

Nandor looks supremely put out when everyone yells something different as you walk through the door to the fancy room. Does no one listen to him? They had an agreed upon plan! He scowls at at the other vampires, especially fucking Colin Robinson, before sweeping over toward you and taking you from Nadja’s arm.

“Welcome to your Death Day Party! Do you like it?” Nandor looks down at you with those wide, sparkling eyes that make you forget he’s a centuries old blood-sucking fiend who once conquered nations and slaughtered thousands. 

You take in your surroundings with a look of wonder. There’s a giant glitter banner hanging above the fireplace that reads “Congratulations on your Dark Awakening.” You recognize it as Nandor’s handiwork at once. Also, Guillermo has obviously been to Party City because everyone is wearing pointed birthday hats with little Dracula emojis all over them and the whole room is absolutely covered in crepe paper. 

“It’s...so cute!” you squeal, grabbing him around the middle in an enthusiastic hug. This is...just want you needed. A little goofy, human levity before stepping off the edge of the unknown. Your eyes continue wandering over the room until they fall upon a long table set up against the wall. “Oh...my g--gahhhh--is that mac and cheese?”

The table is covered in dish after dish of all your favorite comfort foods. Macaroni and cheese, pizza, lasagna. Apple pie, blueberry pie, cherry pie! There’s a whole giant bowl of Reese’s peanut butter cups. You pull away from Nandor and dash across the room, launching yourself into Guillermo’s arms.

“You’re the sweetest monster I’ve ever known!” you cry, doing your best to squeeze the unlife out of him.

Guillermo laughs, “Listen, you’re going to be puking for days either way. You might as well have one last chance to enjoy human food.”

You roll your eyes, “Thanks for the reminder, Memo.”

“Alrighty!” Nandor is suddenly picking you up from behind and plucking you out of Guillermo’s arms. “That’s enough of that. Why don’t you have some of this--” he turns his head away from you and gags “--yummy food and then we’ll listen to some human musical arrangements that Nadja and Laszlo have prepared.”

Nandor hovers at your side, watching with a wrinkled nose as you pile food onto your plate. You’ve barely made a dent in the impressive spread and you’re feeling guilty about the waste when Colin Robinson ambles up.

“So, nervous about Nandor draining all your blood and killing you tonight?” he asks breezily.

You ignore the question and instead ask one of your own, “Hey, you think you can bring some of the leftovers into your office tomorrow? I’d hate to waste all this…”

Colin’s face lights with a maniacal grin, “Barbara’s on a diet...Yeah...this will be perfect!”

You settle onto one of the couches, sandwiched between Guillermo and Nandor. Both vampires look vaguely nauseated as you tuck into your food, but they’re holding it together.

Laszlo stands up with Nadja and starts strumming a guitar as he addresses everyone, “When I first met our human I assumed she’d soon be fertilizing my vulva garden--”

Nadja slaps his arm and Nandor hisses indignantly.

“But! But!” Laszlo continues, bowing with a flourish in your direction. “I came to realize that this particular human was something special. I decided to accept her into the fold. Mostly because she kept Nandor off my back and also my wife threatened to maim my testicles if I ate her…

“So, here we are, human. The last night of your life and we’ve got just one thing to say…”

The couple launches into a screeching, cloying rendition of “(I’ve had) The Time of my Life” from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack (blatantly stolen from Laszlo’s catalogue of compositions). Your face is frozen in horrified laughter and you flick your gaze to Guillermo’s to see that he’s covering his mouth to stifle his own laughs. On your other side, Nandor is clapping along and bobbing his head with the music. Yup, this is your tribe.

The party goes on for another couple hours. Laszlo and Nadja perform several more “hits” before finishing up with “The Girl in the Village with the Very Small Foot.” Nadja’s singing voice is still ringing in your ears when Nandor bends down to whisper, “It’s time, my human.”

The levity of the party has done a lot to calm your nerves, but you can’t help the sudden grip of anxiety around your throat at his words. You look up, falling, once again, into the fathomless depths of his lovely, dark eyes and you think, That’s what this is. You’re going to live in that deep, dark beauty from now on. There’s nothing scary about that. 

You both stand up to leave and say your goodbyes. Laszlo and Colin wish you luck. Guillermo hugs you and presses several quick kisses to your cheeks as Nandor murmurs warningly, “Watch it!”

When he releases you, you’re suddenly engulfed in the arms of a crying Nadja.

“I do love you, you magnificent, ruthless baby!” she sobs. “Nandor, if you fuck this up I’m going to make a hat out of your asshole.”

You laugh into her shoulder and Nandor complains, “Yeesh! Alright, calm down, Nadja!”

By the time you’ve pried yourself from Nadja’s grip you’ve joined her in crying and your face is soaked. Who knew vampires could be so sentimental?

Nandor grimaces in distaste as he brings his hands up to wipe away the tears.

“Ready!?”

---

Nandor’s crypt looks just as it always does. No crepe paper or glitter in sight. Just the warm glow of candles, the rich red and gold accents of the decor, and the solid familiar bulk of the coffin where you’ve spent so many nights wrapped in his protective embrace. He leads you over to the chaise lounge and you both sit, fidgeting nervously and darting shy glances at one another.

Nandor plucks at the fabric of your dress, “This is nice.”

You smile faintly, “Thanks, I--I thought maybe I should dress up for the occasion. Is that stupid? I guess it’ll just get stained…”

“No,” Nandor cuts in, looking earnest and serious. “No, I’ll be careful.”

You nod and fall silent again. The knowledge of what you’re about to do seems to hang like a thick curtain between you. The easy intimacy that you’ve shared is strained with the gravity of what is to come. Nandor finally huffs out an exasperated sigh and pulls you into his lap. At first you think he’s just going to bite the bullet, so to speak, and dig into your neck at once. But instead he grabs your face and pulls you into a searing, all-consuming kiss. 

He tangles his fingers in your hair, pushing his tongue into your mouth with a low groan. You stroke your hands down the long column of his throat, running them across his broad shoulders and down his back. How this man--this perfectly imperfect, wonderfully fragile, fierce warrior man--has come to choose you, you can’t begin to understand. For countless other human souls, catching the eye of Nandor the Relentless has meant grim misfortune. For you, finding yourself the prey of a murderous vampire is the best thing that’s ever happened in your life. 

Except maybe being MVP at last year’s championship bout.

Nandor’s lips fall away and he looks up at you, panting heavily with his hair mussed and tangled. His gaze flicks down to your exposed throat and you see him swallow in anticipation. He reaches for something on an end table and shows you the stainless steel travel mug containing his blood. You take it from him noting the strip of masking tape on the lid with Nandor’s elegant scrawl--his name and the date.

You snort, setting the container down on the cushions beside you and looking back up at Nandor.

“Prepare yourself, my mortal,” he growls, fangs elongating and eyes flashing with a predatory gleam. 

You turn your head, baring your neck for your vampire boyfriend, and answering lightly, “I have a name, you know.”

---

THE END

A/N: Hey, thank you so so so much to everyone who read and supported this fic from the beginning! Your comments and encouragement mean the world to me!

Tags:

@festering-queen, @kandomeresbitch, @strangestdiary, @glitterportrait, @scuzmunkie, @redwoodshadows, @sarasxe, @rileyomalley 

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

[unmaskedagain]

Journal entries from a (Fashion) Princess

Journal entries from a (Fashion) Princess

           Marinette always knew she had two sisters. She also knew her a dad was a bit of slut, so she probably had more.

Phillipe, that was, her birthfather. Not Tom.

           She had an older sister name Mia, who was almost thirteen-years-older than her. And she had a little sister named Olivia, who was just two years younger, at just twelve-years-old.

           Each of the three girls had a different mother; born in different cities or countries, and had grown up mostly without each other. Mia and Oliva had met over a year ago, and immediately Olivia’s life had changed. She didn’t know if either knew about her but she was happy to know she had sisters.

           Something Marinette wasn’t sure she wanted or was even ready for.

           Her Papa, Phillipe, made it clear that whatever happened would be Marinette’s choice. There was no pressure.

           However, that turned out to all be for naught when King Phillipe of Genovia is doing a conference on his go-green plans. Marinette had just gotten ready to go a party, her best friends: Chloe, Aurore, and Kagami were taking her too. When she stopped to watch the televised coverage. Then someone asks him about his daughter.

           To which King Phillipe laughs, “Which one; I have three!”

           Dead silence from the reporters.

           It was a slip. Marinette knew it was a slip. But unfortunately, one little slip would have massive fallout.

           Then a brave reporter asks, “Did you just say three?”

           And was when Marinette knew her life was over.

“Yes,” The king nodded, his face a bit red, knowing all his daughters were planning regicide for different reasons. “I have three daughters. Mia, Oliva, and Marinette. Marinette is fourteen.  She is beautiful and has my blue eyes. She lives with her mother in France. And if she is watching this, she is not happy right now.”

           There were nervous laughs.

           Within an hour, her picture was on the news. Turns out, there weren’t many fourteen-year-olds with named Marinette. Why couldn’t her parents name her Sarah or something?

           And then it was official…

           Marinette Madaeline Mignonette Dupain-Cheng-Renaldo was a princess. And everyone knew it.

           Her parents assured her that everything would be fine. Marinette didn’t think so, not with the way her phone was blowing up. Most calls and texts were from people who hadn’t been her friends in over a year.

           Security showed up before the paparazzi could. Her Papa showed up not long after, followed by three irate look females.

           The oldest was a grey-haired, severe woman, Marinette knew from picture to be her Grandmere. A queen and a renowned snob.

           Mia, a pretty fair skinned woman with high cheek bones and a soft smile on her face when she looked at Marinette was the ideal of look of what celebrities everywhere deemed effortless high-fashion.

           Olivia, a brown-skinned girl with a lovely heart-shaped face and the same cheekbones of her sister, had the most beautiful hair Marinette had ever seen. It was all soft curls that seemed wild and tamed all at once. She wore a deep purple sundress and a hopeful expression on her face.

           They looked like true royalty. And Marinette…

           Marinette had never been so glad she forgot to take off her party clothes. She wore a silver, lacy dress that touched her knees and gave her an elegant look. Her hair, longer than it had been in quite some time, was fell across her shoulders in waves and the top of her dark hair was braided into a crown with little blue forget-me-nots in it. She had on the make-up Chloe recommend, black stockings, and black tie-up sandals.

           Marinette blushed lightly and glanced down. This was the wrong thing to do.”

“Princess keep their eyes up,” Queen Clarisse Renaldo immediately instructed. “They are not commoners. Look at me,” She ordered. Marinette did. “Straighten up your back. You have good posture but need more confidence. Pretty face, nicely done make-up, I assume you were leaving before the… incident.”

           Marinette nodded, “Yes, grandmère.” She kept her chin raised. “I was invited to a… social event,” She adlibbed. “When I was made aware of the… development.”

           Clarisse hummed, “Lovely dress; keen eye for fashion. Your older sister could’ve used your assistance when she was age. She dressed like a man and had the posture of a chimp. I will not even mention the catastrophe that had been her hair.”

           Mia took a deep breath, forced a smile on her face, “I’m Mia. I am so happy to meet you, Marinette. It seems like every year I find out I have new sister,” She shot the last part at her father, who had the good sense to blush in embarrassment. “You look lovely. I hope your plans for evening were not too important.”

“Nothing that I cannot afford to miss,” Marinette said politely. “I have already sent my regards to the host.”

           Clarisse eyed her newest granddaughter in approval, then cast a look of disdain at her son, “This one has manners and know proper etiquette. The first one didn’t have manners.” She tutted. “That is what happens when an artist raises a princess.”

           Both Phillipe and Mia sighed.

“The first one is standing right here,” Mia sniped.

“So the third one,” Oliva jumped in, no longer able to wait properly for her introduction. “I am Olivia. I have another sister. You so pretty. Did you always live in Paris? Do you like it? Where did you get you dress? It’s gorgeous! May I hug you?”

“One question at a time,” Clarisse chastised her youngest, and not-so secretly favorite, grandchild.

           Marinette laughed. “Yes, I was born in raised in Paris. I love it. I made the dress myself. Yes, you may hug me.”

That was all it took for Oliva to launch her at Marinette, “She smells like jasmine flowers” Oliva said excitedly. “And apples.”

“You design that dress?” Mia asked curiously looking her over. “It is quite beautiful.”

“Yes,” Queen Clarisse said. “It is.”

           Sabine stepped forward, “Marinette has loved designing since she was a child. It’s passion of hers. Like having a normal life,” She growled at Phillipe, who took a hasty step back, wondering why he was so attracted to clearly dangerous women.

“Oh please, she’s never been normal,” Clarisse huffed. “She was born a princess. She will die a princess. She will the rest of her days as a princess. Now, onto important, matters when will Marinette be moving to Genovia?”

           The fight that started between two over protective bakers over their daughter and a Dowager Queen, while a King was forced to mediate was legendary.

           It got to the point where Mia decided it was best to remove the children from the area, before someone found out Queen Clarisse had a mean right hook. Escorted by security, Mia led her sisters through the flashing lights of the paparazzi, to the limo and then onto get ice cream.

           The girls took their time as they slowly got to know each other better. The sisters laughed and joked. They learned about their lives before they knew they were princess. Mia and Oliva talked about life afterward.

“You still have to deal with mean girls?” Marinette asked exasperated.

“Bullies?” Olivia groaned. “I’ve had them all my life. I deal with a Luisa.”

“Lila,” Marinette rolled her eyes.

“Lana,” Mia added. “Girls with L names obviously just don’t like us.”

           They laughed. As they road back home in the limo. They each told how they dealt with their own bulling before and after princesshood.

           Mia befriended hers. Lana a ruthless bully at the start of high school became her best friend by the end it. While in the middle, her best friend Lily became her lead bully for a while until they worked things out. However before the peace, there was a lot of war. Marinette was honest as she relayed how she didn’t always handle it maturely.

           Olivia had had turned Luisa into a frenemy of sorts. They both liked and disliked each other. Luisa had a mean since of humor and was very bratty but could be intelligent at times. It was hard but Olivia had admitted she’d been peer pressured into far too many things to prove herself.

           Marinette quietly relayed how a Liar named Lila Rossi turned all her friends against her and left Marinette nearly friendless. How a boy named Adrien, left her to rot after promising to defend her. How her best friend Alya turned into a nasty, acid-spitting girl who had no problem ruining Marinette things or tripping her for her “bullying” Lila. Marinette said she just cut her losses. She found better friends who would remain loyal. How her once greatest bully Chloe, and her once rival in love, Kagami became her best friends. They, and Aurore helped her stop being everyone’s doormat, take time for herself, and start charging for commissions.

           By the end of the trip, Marinette decided it felt really good to have sister. She didn’t know why Alya complained so much.

           When Marinette got home, she learned that all her parents and her grandmother had come to an agreement. Marinette would finish out the school year, with a bodyguard, and spend the summer in Genovia. Then at the end of summer, Marinette would decide what she would like to do from there. No one looked happy about the arrangement.

           Marinette knew there weren’t many weeks of school left. She wondered how long it would take for her to die of embarrassment from having to be escorted by a bodyguard. Was this how Adrien felt? Or was he just used to it. All in all, she was dreading Monday.

           The weekend passed quicker than she would’ve liked. The paparazzi remained outside the bakery. Princess Marinette was all the news was talking about. Nadja had come over to beg for an exclusive only to be shown the door by Sabine. Marinette had only replied to her friend calls and texts; just to let them know she was alright and yes, she was in fact a princess. They’d talk on Monday.

           On Monday morning, Ophelia, a beautiful blond woman with grey eyes and a sharp chin, and Rosette, a lovely brunette with large doe-eyes and brown skinned, Marinette’s bodyguards, drove her to school, walked her through the crowd of people gathered to see a real Princess, through the school, and to class. Both women were prior Genovian military black ops. One woman would guard the hall, while the other stayed close to Marinette in class.

           Speaking of class, it was quiet when she entered. Most of the students were already there.  Chloe and Kagami, her only friends in class, were the only ones she cared about. Chloe was to greet her.

“Dupain-Cheng!” Chloe barked. “I knew there was something off about you. A princess, you’ve could told me.”

“Dupain-Cheng-Renaldo,” Marinette corrected. “And no I couldn’t.”

“Princess Marinette,” Kagami greeted with a head bow. “My mother, while honored, was quite frazzled to learn a princess visited our home without proper preparation.”

           Marinette winced. Kagami’s mom was intense to say the least. “Please call me Marinette, both of you.” She added to Chloe who realized she had made an error when greeting Marinette and had wide eyes. “This is my bodyguard, Ophelia,” She introduced the blond woman. “I have another, Rosette, outside the door. They will be with me for the rest of my education.”

           Chloe shrugged as the girls took their seats. Ophelia claimed an empty chair and a spot behind Marinette.

“Do you have a tiara?” Chloe asked. “Does it sparkle?”

           Marinette giggled. Yes, she did have tiara. It was the first thing her grandmere presented to her as a gift. “I do. And its shines like starlight.”

           Chloe squealed, “I have one too, with blue diamonds.”

           That didn’t surprise with of the other girls. They always knew Chloe thought of herself as a princess.  

           The three girls settled into pleasant conversation, ignoring the looks the other students were send them, as they waited for the bell to ring. This pleasantness of course was ruined when Alya and Lila walked into to class. Both immediately started drama.

           Alya glared at Marinette, “How could you not tell me? A princess, for real? I thought we were friends!”

“Since when?” Marinette retorted. “You ended our friendship remember?”

           Alya huffed, feeling a bit put out. She had hoped when she saw the news that Marinette would give her the exclusive because of their friendship. Then, she remembered that she wasn’t friends with the other girl anymore. Still, she remembered, Marinette was a forgiving person, she thought she could use that.  “I’m still your best friend.”

“No, you’re not,” Marinette sighed. “Kagami, Chloe, and Aurore are my best friends. Aurore will be getting a personal interview from me.”

           Then it was clear to everyone; forgiveness wasn’t coming. This caused Adrien to wince at his father had requested that he bring Marinette to visit and perhaps secure an endorsement deal. It was going to be hard to explain just why he couldn’t. Or why he sided with entire class and an obvious liar. Over an actual Marinette. But how was he supposed to know she was someone important, let alone a princess?

           Lila smiled prettily, jealously flashing in her eyes, “Princess Marinette; keeping such a secret must have been horrible. I couldn’t have kept it that long.”

“You couldn’t have kept it a minute,” Chloe retorted.

           Lila ignored the blond girl, “You know I have plenty of experience dealing with royalty. I could help you get used to it. My mother is an ambassador.”

           This time it was Ophelia who answered, she glared at the girl, “I’ve done extensive background on everyone in this school. Your mother was only recently named an ambassador, before that she was the assistant of the last one. You, however, stayed with your aunt during while your mother left on any business travels. There is no evidence of interaction with anyone of note. I do not make mistakes.”

“And Lila,” Marinette hummed. “I was born a princess. I’ll die a princess. I will always be a princess. I don’t need you.”

[puyohighschoolau]

Chapter 6: Rafisol: Little Talk by kirbymanx/huskynator

Description: An attempt is made to get the anti-social Rafisol to socialize.

[Art by ChaoPlushie​]

F2 - “Hang Out Room”

Amitie and Ally shared a table in the Commons Room looking at Ally’s smartphone. “See?” Ally told pointing at the image on her phone. “Rudy used to be ridiculously small next to Woefie.”

“Wow, you’re right.” Amitie looked on in amazement. The two were talking about their favorite show. “That version looks so old. They used to look like that?”

“Seems like it.” Ally scrolled up on the fan wiki. “Woah!” Ally flinched a little at what she saw.

“What is it?” The blonde friend wanted to know what made her fellow cheerleader widen her eyes.

“Rudy Husky debuted 35 years ago.” Ally pointed at the episode in the bio.

“For real? Geez, how old does that make this show?”

“I know Blaffie had several reboots. And I have no clue how Rafie caught up with all of it.” Ally looked at the table next to her at the window. “Hey, Sis!”

“Hm?…” Ally’s stoic twin halted her conversation with her friend to turn to her sister.

Rafisol Miss Unemotive and Inexpressive

“What is it, Ally?” She said in her usual unemotive and dry voice.

“Ami and me are talking Blaffie.” Those six words Ally spoke may give one the impression that it piqued the interest of the stonefaced sibling. Ally smiled. “Wanna join? We’re clueless compared to you.”

The introverted one of the Hearthwell twins was about to wordlessly join them, but she stopped in her tracks to address her friend at her current table. “I know you don’t care about Blaffie, but do you care to join me, Silv?”

“Sure. Probably not gonna pay attention though.” Arle’s twin, Silvana, already took out her phone and earbuds.

Silvana Nadja #2 Nadja Twin

“That’s okay.” Rafisol stood up and joined her sister and Amitie on the opposite side of the table.

Silvana joined sitting next to her. Being polite enough to give a second friendly hello to her younger cousin, Amitie, and associate, Ally, since first entering the commons room before putting in the earbuds and booting up her Gugubbit raising simulator app.

“What were you talking about?” Rafisol leaned over in curiosity.

“Not much.” Ally admitted with a sheepish grin. “Just wanted to give ya a chance to talk about your favorite show.”

Rafisol leaned back. “I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite.”

Ally smirked. “Really, Rafie? What do you like more than Blaffie?” She asked rhetorically.

Rafisol mumbled something but it was inaudible.

“We’re like surprised at how long Rudy existed.” Amitie tried to break the ice as she usually did to the other Hearthwell.

“Oh, well no reboot has gone by withou--”

“Ally!” A fifth person called from the room’s entrance for the girl he called for attention.

“Oh Hiya, Mr. Riskuma!”

The Squirrel Bear(?) strolled to the group of girls. Amitie waved hi. Silvana was too busy playing with her virtual pet to bother saying hello. And Rafisol turned to look behind her to see their teacher. “I wanted to discuss your matchmaking plans with you. But am I interrupting something?” He politely asked. Not being able to read the latter girl.

Mr. Risukuma (Computer Coding/Dating Site Owner(/Chemistry)) Herald of Love

“Well…” “Kinda.” “Yes.” Ally, Amitie and Rafisol respectively said more or less at the same time.

“Then I’ll leave you girls be.” He then pointed his paw from his folded arm position at Ally. “We’ll talk later over on Verse.” Everyone’s favorite social media platform. Right as the manimal(?) went for the halls Ally stopped him.

“Wait, you’re a fan of Blaffie right, Risukuma?” His student and fellow love believer’s question perked his Squirrel(?)/Bear(?) ears(?) perked up(?). He turned back around.

“He is?” Was Rafisol’s reaction to it.

“I am.” He affirmed. “Why do you ask?”

“Because we were talking Blaffie. And only you and Rafie know enough to chat about it.”

“No, we weren’t.” Rafisol spoke in a blunt tone.

“Oh, I’d gladly converse about Blaffie. Been a fan since I was a pupcub. Taught me why cults are bad. It was such a progressive show. For its time anyway.” He shrugged. “Can’t deny most reboots after the one I grew up with are superior. It was a very toy driven show back then. Still is.”

“Great!” Ally made Amitie and herself scoot over to make place for her favorite teacher. Risukuma sat right next to Ally and on the opposite end of Silvana.

“Ah.” Silvana waved when she noticed someone joined them. Risukuma waved back.

“Ally. I don’t wanna talk about Blaffie.” Rafisol protested.

“Wait what?” Amitie exclaimed. “You moved to this table to chat about it.” Ally gave her sister a glare in mild disappointment and concern.

“Raf.” Silvana took out an earbud, faced her friend and looked her in the eyes. “You’re being a bit hypocritical. If you’re passionate about anything it’s this kids show.”

“It’s not for kids.” Rafisol instinctively replied.

“Just try and chat with him.” Silv urged. “Do it for your sister.” She nudged her head.

“More importantly do it for yourself.” Ally said. “You don’t want to be as lonely as Harpy is, do you?”

Rafisol kept quiet.

“He’s probably watched as much as you. Why don’t you try and be friends?” Ally asked.

Rafisol visibly caved in to their demands. “Favorite arc?” Suddenly out of nowhere, her best friend Silvana gave her a pat on the shoulder with a smile signaling she’s proud of her. And Ally did too. If nothing else, that felt good to the poker-faced girl.

Amitie’s smile was whatever.

And Risukuma’s smile(?)… It should be clear who Rafisol likes interacting with by now. Ally and Rafisol despite being twins, or perhaps because of it, are total opposites. They love each other, but they have the opposite amount of people they can or want to interact with.

Rafisol is the twin who prefers to be alone and not have small talk. Generally preferred listening to being talked to.

“The original turtle 5-parter.” Risukuma answered. “You kids have no idea how cool it was that there was an alternate dimension where Blaffie, Rudy, Lef, and Woefie weren’t Huskies but Turtles.”

“Get real!!” Amitie said in awe. “I love the Turtles!” Amitie pulled out her phone. “What episode, Mr. Ris!? And what season!?” She asked rapidly, she can’t wait to see their original incarnations.

“Somewhere late Season 1, I think.” And just like that Amitie rapidly went to a streaming service to put them on a to watch list. “Not only were 5-parters a big deal back then, but it was also one of the most exciting that incarnation ever got.” The fuzzy teacher explained to Ally and Amitie more so than Rafisol.

He went on to explain: “It is such a great microcosm of the ideal of the show. That being the message of the importance of self-defense. The two teams were goaded into fighting each other by Captain Cuddles. And they eventually did. But not before antagonizing each other in any other way possible before the misunderstanding was cleared up. I am a sucker for love and friendship on the battlefield.”

“Oh!” Ally grunted. “Me too! I’ve gotta see that love in action!” Now Ally pulled out her phone and added that version on her watchlist.

Rafisol smiled, soon she’ll have another conversation topic with her sister. ‘Now only if he could convince Silvana.’

“All this about a show about stuffed animals?” Silv said in mild disbelief in a tone that deflated her friend.

“Indeed.” “Yes!” Uh-uh! “Yes…”

“Hm…” Silv moaned. “Okay? So Raf. Your turn. Got anything to say about this… turtle arc?”

The quiet girl clicked her tongue. “No.”

“Liar.” Silvana’s immediate response did sting Rafisol harder than she expected.

“Well.” Risukuma got a refresher course on what Rafisol was like. And she’s not easier to talk to outside of the class. “I’ll see you pupcubs in class tomorrow.” He got up and left.

And now that left Ally, Amitie, Rafisol, and Silvana.

“Ami?” Ally turned to her cheerleading buddy.

“Yeah, Ally?” “I left some love letters in my locker I still need to deliver. Can you get them for me?” “Sure, but why me? Can’t you do it?” “Please?” “Okido!” Amitie chirped as she went to fetch them with Ally’s keys.

And now that left Ally, Rafisol and Silvana. The former and the latter felt the middle’s tension dropping. Both of which who were not Rafisol raised their concern.

“Raf, Mr. Ris is like one of the coolest teachers. The only thing that’s holding him back is that he’s a massive weirdo. But you can trust him.” Silv spoke in a sisterly manner.

“Silvie is right. Take it from me, he’s 100% genuine. If you wanna talk Blaffie, he’s your guy.” Ally spoke in a different, more comforting sisterly manner.

“If there’s someone you can let out about those cartoon dogs, it’s him.”

Rafisol had heard those kinda speeches time and time again from those two. Not always the same subject. But it was the same sentiment.

Make some friends.

“S-Sorry...”

[Art by ChaoPlushie]

[varietysky]

Thomas and Pat for ask game

Thomas:

A song that reminds me of them: "I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick. I mean, the name says it all, doesn't it?

What they smell like: Like an old library

An otp: Thomas/Humphrey. Every so often Thomas sees Humphrey as more than an object, and Humphrey is able to let his guard down around him knowing he won't be punted that day. The two would bond over their artistic pursuits in life, be that poetry or painting. I have a lot of soft feelings about this pairing, though there's some heavy lifting to do on Thomas's part to get him to be nicer to Humphrey.

Thomas/Fanny is a new interest of mine, as a short-lived affair when Fanny was still new to the ghost crew.

A notp: Thomas/Kitty romantically (but I am partial to Kitty having a one-sided schoolgirl crush on him. Once Thomas found out, he started playing into it, but then she wasn't interested anymore)

Not a strict notp, but I'm not interested in Captain/Thomas. No big reason as to why, I just don't care for them together in that way (weird considering I ship Humphrey with both of them individually).

Favorite platonic/familial relationships:

Thomas/Kitty as besties, I DO think!!! There's a lot of fun to be had with these two, with them both being hopeless romantics and slightly annoying about their infatuations. They're supportive of each other nonetheless.

Thomas/Mary, I see the vision, I see it for them! Mary has no issue putting Thomas in his place, and she apparently is a voice of reason for Thomas. There's a lot that can be explored with these two. I also like the idea of Mary having been attracted to most of the ghosts in the house, except Thomas. And he takes that personally lol.

A headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that I disagree with: I don't think Isabelle was Thomas's true love. I think she was one of several women that he became infatuated with. It's just tragic that he happened to die over his feelings for her. Also idk if it's a popular headcanon that Isabelle was his true love, but yeah, I don't think she's the Sophie, Carol, or even Havers equivalent to Thomas's backstory (depending on how you choose to read Havers' significance to Captain).

The position they sleep in: he sleeps like a vampire, on his back, arms crossed along his chest.

A crossover AU I'd love to see them in: I would love a WWDITS crossover in general, for all the ghosts, but Thomas specifically. I would love to see him fall for both Nadja and Laszlo.

My favorite outfit they've ever worn: He's only got one outfit that we've seen, but the jacket he wore with it in The Thomas Thorne Affair makes the outfit more cohesive.

Pat:

A song that reminds me of them: "Gotta Get Up" by Harry Nilsson. Pat wakes up each day ready to be productive!

What they smell like: like the great outdoors! And aftershave

An otp: hmmm I don't have any go-to OTPs for Pat. I can see him with just about anyone. Maybe Pat/Julian?

A notp: Pat/Kitty romantically

Favorite platonic/familial relationships:

Pat/Julian I really enjoy! They're the ghosts who are closest in time, both in life and death, so I enjoy watching them bond over pop culture references that the others don't understand.

Cap/Pat. I see the potential for them to be romantic, but I also like them as friends. Aside from Fanny, Captain is the closest to Pat. Sometimes they're at odds regarding who's the "real" leader of the group, but they seem to have a lot of respect for each other.

A headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that I disagree with: I don't think this is a popular headcanon, but Pat is not as politically correct as he may seem. I mean s3 kinda confirmed that, but yeah. There are levels to Pat that I think go ignored in fic and headcanons sometimes.

The position they sleep in: he could only sleep on his back due to the arrow, right? So yeah, on his back, even though he hates having to sleep like that.

A crossover AU I'd love to see them in: Not a crossover, but a band manager AU would be interesting for Pat!

My favorite outfit they've ever worn: His jumper from s3ep5!!

**update: I guess I should've elaborated, but the reason I don't ship Kitty romantically (anymore) is because I'm assuming she's somewhere around 18-19 years old, and the others are just much older -- the closest in age to her might be Thomas, but headcanon him as early 30s, or late 20s at the very least. and I used to be in the Kitty/Mary train, but thinking more about how Mary would have watched her grow up, shipping them romantically feels a bit off... so yeah ✌🏾

[lnc2]

tongue tied (1/?)

Summary: Chat Noir’s podcast is a viral success.

A/N: This is for @labyrinthofchaos  who wanted to see my dumbass idea fleshed out into a full story.  Thank you for being patient with me <3 I hope it was worth the wait.

AO3

It started with a black envelope on her balcony.

You’ve been cordially invited to paw-ticipate in Le PodChat…

Marinette rolled her eyes, checked the box marked No, thank you and doodled a sad kitten in the corner before resealing the envelope and leaving it tucked under one of her plants.

She knew the invitation was imminent.  Ladybug may have refused to be a part of his little side project in a permanent or official capacity but that didn’t mean that Chat Noir didn’t talk her ears off about future episodes all the same.

“Think about it, bug!  Akuma victims coming forward to share their stories– what it was like, what Hawkmoth said, how it felt when they ultimately and inevitably fell at the hands of their favorite heroes.” Here he waggled his eyebrows as he leaned forward on his baton.  “How awesome would that be?”

Ladybug smiled, pushing back her eager partner with the pad of her finger.  “I think you’ll find people are less willing to come forward about being akumatized than you anticipate, minou.  Most people would rather forget the whole thing, not broadcast it to strangers.”

“Exactly!  But think about the good it could do if we got people talking about it?” He was all hands in his excitement, frantic waving that nearly managed to catch her in the face.  “People like Chloe Bourgeois won’t be able to shame people into being reakumatized if we can just normalize the experience right?”

“But it isn’t normal, Chat.” She sighed.  “At least it shouldn’t be.”

“And we’re working on that, my lady.” He said, his voice gentle.  “I just think this might be another way to help out. Ease the emotional pressure cooker everyone is under.”

After that, there was really no arguing with him.  After all, Chat Noir wasn’t wrong and any and all help that they could provide to prevent future akuma attacks would make their jobs easier in the long run.  What had started out as a biweekly way to blow off steam quickly transformed into something Bigger. Marinette couldn’t say she was surprised– everything Chat touched seemed to spiral into more.

When he first broached the idea about starting a podcast hosted by the Ladyblogger Ladybug had laughed.  They’d brainstormed silly ideas throughout patrol only for her to realize her partner had been entirely serious.  In the end she’d capitulated to his kitten eyes on the condition that this was his thing.

“I have enough on my plate as it is, Chat.  I can’t promise to be on every episode with you.”

His eyes sparkled when he bowed over her hand.  “Any time you can spare is perfect, as always.”

What Ladybug hadn’t anticipated (although really she should have) was just how successful this particular scheme would be.  Calling Le PodChat an overnight sensation did a disservice to how quickly the premier episode managed to crash the Ladyblog’s servers.

Alya was over the moon.

“I don’t know whose ass I kissed in a past life to get this lucky but you won’t find any regrets here.” She squealed the following day at school.  “How many journalists can say they have literal superheroes dropping by on a semi-weekly basis to shoot the shit? Nadja Chamack  wishes  she had so much exposure.”

That much at least was true.  She’d heard it from the cat himself who had been more than a little frazzled by how much attention his little side project generated.  That evening on patrol he’d been a nervous, twitching agitated wreck as not one but  two  news outlets had reached out offering to be the “legitimate” homes for the podcast.

“I’d never move it of course,” He said, tail waving with his hands as Ladybug watched him in amusement. “I couldn’t do that to Alya. But the fact that they even offered…!”

It was his good-natured nervous Q&A on the fourth episode that ultimately brought her aboard.

  “Okay, last one.” Alya said, clearing her throat. “Cattheclysm87 wants to know, are you guys always Ladybug and Chat Noir or do you have lives outside of the mask?”

There was a pause, longer than the previous ones.  Chat Noir tapped his claws against a hard surface.

“Chat?” Alya prompted.  He laughed and Ladybug could practically see him shaking his head.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about what my lady would say.  What she’d  want  me to say.”

“And?”

Chat Noir sighed.  “Probably something about keeping our identities a secret.  And something about how our lives outside the mask are something that makes Paris worth protecting.”

“Do you agree?”

“Naturally.” He said.  Even if she couldn’t hear it in his voice, Ladybug knew he was shrugging here. “But I think my life inside the mask is just as important to me.  Some days even moreso.”

Alya pressed him.  “Oh?”

If she hoped to glean more however Chat Noir wasn’t going to cooperate.  At least not today.

“Of course!  I don’t know of anyone in Paris who wouldn’t give their left foot to spend time with Ladybug.”

Alya laughed. “She can come by and collect mine any time.  I’ll be waiting.”

 Ladybug’s first appearance on Le PodChat the following week landed them at #1 on French Twitter’s trending topics something that she regretted almost immediately when #ladynoir hit #3.

  “Good luck beating cataclysm with a fork.” Chat Noir’s sneered.

Ladybug laughed. “If you don’t think I could fork you up you have another thing coming.”

“I’m just saying, my lady.  There’s not much good your lucky charm can do if it’s in ashes.”

“And  I’m just saying it will be pretty hard for you to destroy anything when I’ve got you all tied up.”

He leaned forward and grinned. “Is that a promise?”

 Alya had been insufferable for weeks after that.

“God can’t they just date already?”

Her frustrated wails were muffled by her pillow but Marinette heard the familiar lament all too well. She rolled her eyes and continued fidgeting with her sewing machine.  At this point she knew it was a waste of breath to point out that no matter how often Chat Noir flirted with Ladybug there was nothing at all romantic between Paris’ superheroes.  Her best friend had shipping goggles and nothing Ladybug  or  Marinette could say about it would dissuade her otherwise.

“Like, seriously,” Alya continued, propping her chin up with her elbow and waving frantically with her free hand.  “The UST between them is just unbearable.”

“Then why do you bear it?”

Marinette’s dry remark was met with a pillow thrown to the back of her head.  She turned and scowled at her best friend who scowled right back.

“The only thing worse than witnessing their obliviousness would be not being able to see it at all.”

She giggled. “Of course.”

Alya ignored her.  “Besides, Le PodChat is fucking killing it in ratings.  The Ladyblog hasn’t seen this much traffic since I posted that picture of them kissing after Nino and I were akumatized.”

Marinette valiantly squashed her waspish retort at  that  reminder and said, “Activity has been pretty high lately.”

“Try  astronomical.” Alya shot her a sly smile.  “And just imagine, you could be a part of it all.”

Marinette groaned.

She knew this was coming.  After she’d rejected Chat Noir’s invitation to come on the show and talk about her experience working with “Paris’ Best and Bravest” during Nathaniel’s akumatization, her partner had been a cauldron bubbling with curiosity.

“Why do you think she said no?” He’d asked Ladybug on patrols, after akuma attacks, before one of her occasional drop ins on the podcast recordings.

Ladybug could only shrug.  “Maybe she’s shy.”

Alya laughed.  “Nah, there’s only one thing in this world that Marinette’s shy about and public speaking isn’t it.”

“Oh?” Chat said, looking ready to dive into what Ladybug knew would be a too revealing conversation.  Fortunately Alya didn’t take the bait and merely waved him off.

“Don’t worry about it.  I’ll get her to agree.”

Silently, Ladybug laughed.

Because if there was one thing Marinette Dupain-Cheng was not going to do it was agree to be a guest on her crime-fighting partner’s internet radio show.  Not when her alter ego was also a frequent guest on said podcast. She didn’t know how much of her identity was protected by the miraculous but she wasn’t willing to test it to appease Chat Noir’s whims.

It would only take one perceptive binge listener (or an overly eager feline partner) to notice that Ladybug and Marinette’s voices  sure do sound alike …

Pfft.  Yeah, no.

“Not gonna happen, Als.”

“But whyyyyyyy,” Alya whined, sitting up from her prone position on the chaise to shoot her best friend her patented puppy dog eyes.  They were nearly as devastating as Chat Noir’s. Marinette was unmoved.

“I’m not embarrassing Nathaniel like that.”

She pouted.  “But he’s with Marc now.  I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

“Even if he said he didn’t, the answer is no.”

Thankfully Alya knew when to drop the subject.  

Unfortunately for Marinette, 

Chat Noir did not.

[aserniccatnip]

Lady light. (Part 1)

So... Maybe there is already an AU like this one, please, say it to me if it is the case ! Or I might really think I actually had an idea all by myself... This story is writen after Ladybug but I might put some things from the others episodes, the diffusion order is killing me.

Warning : It's a Damian x Marinette au but it can alsi be a "Marinette doesn't need a man in her life because she's perfect" au base, Chloé will be redeemed. 

Part 2, Part 3, Taglist

___________

Sabine couldn't stop thinking of the accident, about the girl and her habit to say stranges things. She couldn't stop thinking about her daugther who was expelled, of her faded smile and her sadness. She tought about it for hours and hours. Days and days. Everyday she thinks about it and feels anger growing slowly inside of her, but luckily for her, Tom is always by her side and try to find a way to make everybody happy again in his little family.

But after several days of intense reflection, they came to the best solution possible for their daughter. Maybe for some they were making a mistake, but they still wanted to do everything to ensure the happiness of Marinette. It was their duty as parents.

To make sure they were not doing anything stupid, however, they once invited Alya home while Marinette was at Nadja's house looking after her daughter to earn some pocket money. Like any child invited to a parent's house without knowing the reason, Alya was stoned, but she knew how much Marinette's parents were angels. (She was always shocked that a man like Tom Dupain was able to be akumatized.) After drinking her cup of hot chocolate and her croissant, which melted delicately in her mouth, she tried to focus on the adults. "Why did you want to see me?"

Sabine looked at Tom, hesitantly and took a deep breath. "You are a future journalist and Marinette's friend, can you tell us what is her relationship with this so-called Lila Rossi?"

Alya looked at them in turn, understanding finally the reason for her coming, the parents anxiety after the accident that had occurred a month earlier was easy to see. She didn't blame them for seeking explanations when everyone had already turned the page on this unfortunate misunderstanding and moved on.

"Marinette doesn't like Lila since ... Since her arrival. She doesn't stop treating her as a liar and manipulator. I must admit that I think it's because she's in love with Adrien and Lila is in love too." Alya drank her chocolate, not noticing the shock of the parents right away.

Their daughter ? Treat someone liar just because they are fighting for the same man? It wasn't the Marinette they had raised. Suddenly, they wondered where they had failed in hee education. Marinette used to hate lies in the past.

"So ... do you think she really steals her family necklace?"

"Marinette? Never ! She has already done some unthinkable things, but I don't think she did that. "

"So this Lila has set up a trap for my cupcake!" Tom stood up, growling with a more than angry look. The two women looked at each other, almost afraid to see an Akuma appear.

"M. Dupain, it's impossible. Lila is very sweet and an adorable girl. She would never hurt a fly ! But ... I know two other people who also love Adrien and can be responsible for all that. Two incredibly mean girls for nothing. A bit like Marinette with Lila at times ... "

Sabine couldn't believe her ears: people were ready to sabotage the whole schooling of a girl just because, at the age of fourteen, she loved a boy? A model moreover? Someone who, inevitably, attracted the attention of others? No. All this was not correct.

"Thank you Alya, have some macaroons and thank you, once again, for your time." Smiling as she accompanied Alya to the door, Sabine slowly lose her smile and put her future plan into action. It was hurting her to do that. But Marinette happiness was the only thing that matter.

___

When Marinette returned home that day, she thanked Heaven for giving Ladybug a day off because she couldn't have saved anyone because of her current condition. Exhausted, she immediately climbed into her room and didn't notice that her parents were not at the bakery. It was only once in her room that she jumped, seeing her mother sitting on her bed waiting for her.

"Mom ? What are you doing in my room?“

"I wanted to talk to you about Lila Rossi. “

Marinette turned pale and her eyes were filled with anger, fear and sadness.

Everything she hated to see in her daughter's eyes.

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it... "

Her mother nodded and got up from the bed, showing her a suitcase next to her. "Marinette, your father and I love you, that's why we want to fulfill our duty as parents at best by thinking about your future and your well-being, which sometimes means making choices that don't please everyone immediately to our child. "

Marinette stepped back, shaking her head as she tried to flee, she was slowly beginning to understand and it scared her. Where was she going? Somewhere in Paris at least, right? Outside, she could hear the noisy horn of a car and the shrill voice of Chloe Bourgeois, her eternal enemy. She ran to the window, wanting to be sure. At hee back, her mother continued to talk to her.

"Marinette Dupain Cheng, you are going to live in New York with Chloé Bourgeois and her mother to realize your dream of becoming a stylist!"

The teenager could hear happiness in her mother's voice as she was about to realize her dream. But what would she do with Ladybug? Alya? Adrien? And ... Going with Chloe? Really ? It was to sign her death warrant.

"But mom... I love Paris! Everything is fine here for me. And everyone is here ! You, dad, Alya, Adrien and... "

"And Lila Rossi? No. You may have only fourteen years old but you have a gift and New York can show your gift to the whole world. This is a big opportunity. "

"But Chloé is worse than Lila!" She remained silent for a moment. Chloe was sticky, annoying and she was doing everything to annoy her but ... Lila? No, clearly, Lila was worse. "I can become a stylist here mom!"

"Don't discuss my orders, pack your bags, your father has prepared your favorite meal as a farewell dinner ... We will come to visit you during the holidays and every night we will call each other."

Marinette wanted to cry. No, she was crying. She cried at the thought of being away from her parents, at the thought of being in an unknown and far too big city whose language she barely knew. She was crying to say goodbye to Alya, Adrien, Nino, Juleka, Rose, her new friend Kagami, she was crying to disappoint Master Fu.

"Before leaving ... can I say goodbye to my friends ...?"

At the table, Sabine was silent: it was hard for her to play the bad mother. And Tom? He was trying to keep smiling even if he was going to say goodbye to his daughter. Fortunately, the Bourgeois made the promise that she would have a bodyguard and that they would keep them informed of everything. He was a proud father of his daughter.

"Yes, my cupcake, you can go ... But at 7 pm you have to be at the airport for your departure." He gave a nervous little smile. "The Mayor told me that you have a first class ticket. First class ! Do you imagine the comfort?"

He was the only one who seemed happy about it.

Sabine watched her daughter as she left the table to see her friends without even eating her last family meal. She knew she was making the right choice and if it wasn't the right one... She was going to fly to New York to take her home if she had to. But the Parisian air was no longer made for Marinette. She deserved better and Sabine knew it.

----

"You go away ?" Alya's voice was shaking with anger.

"Alya ... I'm sorry, I just learned it right now, my mother made that decision without warning me before today!"

"Of course, your parents send you to New York the same day they decided it without telling anyone? You know what? Maybe Lila was saying, you're selfish!" She hung up.

Marinette knew that most of the words her best friend was saying were angry, but she couldn’t help but feel hurt. The student had always tried to please everyone, to make all her friends smile, then hear that she was selfish? It was almost too much for her.

"You're a big-hearted girl, Marinette, she's going to calm down and she's going to realize her words." Tikki tried her best to reassure her, knowing how sensitive Marinette is.

Marinette smiles, sticking her little girlfriend to her cheek to thank her for her sweetness in such a moment then she put Tikki back in her bag. Marinette inhaled and went to Master Fu's apartment. 

For the others ? It was better that she was content to just write them a farewell letter, it was simpler, less painful.

"Master Fu?" Marinette muttered as she entered the miraculous guardian's apartment.

The old man smiled as he looked at her, but his smile vanished as he saw the sad look on Marinette's face, but also on Tikki's face. "Master Fu, Marinette is leaving for New York, she has no choice, her parents choose it for her..."

The guard didn’t know what to answer right away. But after a glass of tea, he put the horse’s glasses in the hands of the young woman. Marinette looked up at the old man with a lost face.

"Master ... But ..."

"You're the only person who can be the ladybug holder, I can’t replace you, I don’t want to replace you, so I'm sorry, but for now I have to rely on you to make the journey as soon as we need you here. I only trust you to fight Hawkmoth."

Tears rolled over Marinette's cheeks and she hugged him, taking advantage of that moment with him. Tikki was coming with her and that was something that reassured her in her situation.

Later in the evening, her father took the cards she had written for each of her acquaintances, even for Manon. She wanted everyone to know that she would miss Paris and that she wouldn’t forget them. She hugged her parents and went to the limousine to leave with Chloe and her parents. Neither Tom nor Sabine had the courage to accompany her to the airport without reconsidering their decision.

"So ... We're going to New York ..." Marinette tried to engage in a conversation with Chloe, smiling as hard as she could in her situation.

"It's ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, sharing an apartment with you ? Ridiculous!" She grunted, folding her arms and looking down at her. "Don’t you know ? My mother can’t come with us, so we're going to Gotham, I'm going into a dance school and modeling and you ... you're gonna try to survive before you come back here crying for your mama!" 

"But ... who will take care of us, if your mother doesn’t come?"

"An adult will live with us and we will have bodyguards to avoid having problems." Seeing Marinette's growing fear, she smiled. "You can always back off."

"If only I had a choice."

-------------

Inspired of @coke-and-candy​ and her little drabble about Sabine. You all should read it ! It’s awesome.

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: The Rebellion of Adrien Agreste, ch. 12

Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Luka Couffaine, Lila Rossi/karma, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/aneurism, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Plagg & Tikki

Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Lila Rossi, Jagged Stone, Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Penny Rolling, Anarka Couffaine, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Tikki, Fang, Principal Damocles, Caline Bustier, Ms. Mendeleiev, original minor character, Alec Cataldi, Lila Rossi’s Mother, Sabrina Raincomprix, Roger Raincomprix, Mylène Haprèle, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste’s Bodyguard, Nino Lahiffe, Nooroo

Tags: Lila Rossi salt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Teenage Rebellion, Swearing, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Crack Treated Seriously, Lila Rossi’s Lies Are Exposed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Luka Couffaine Needs a Hug, Paparazzi, Parentification, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Gabriel Agreste Needs an Aneurism, Uncle Jagged Stone, we’re all queer here, the spirit of punk is sometimes just being allowed to be yourself, Kagami Finds Her Groove, punk rock fashion, Savage Kagami, Marinette protection squad, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, Good Parent Tom Dupain, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Sharing a Bed, Pet Names, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Instagram, Bullying, Social Media, Anxiety, Makeover, Hugs, will cure your acne, Face Punching, Bad Ass Juleka Couffaine, Rumors, Protective Juleka Couffaine, Protective Adrien Agreste, Lawyers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, accountability, mental health, Jagged Stone’s well-paid pet shark, How to Make the Evening News, Sexy eyeliner for days, one fish two fish Lila is a screwed fish, How to have fun and piss Gabriel off, Fuckery, sweet litigious karma, Alya sugar, lawyer shark doo doo doo doo doo doo, Schadenfreude, Bad Ass Alya Césaire, Gaslighting, abuse denormalization, Jagged likes his lawyers like he likes his pets: toothy af, Blood in the Water, Everything you didn’t know you wanted and some things you did, Gabriel Agreste is shark bait, Denial, Consequences, Principal Damocles salt, caline bustier salt, the impotence of Gabriel Agreste, snarky Nooroo, lies and the lying liars who tell them, Lila’s brain is a narcissistic hellscape, Lila’s mind is built like an Escher piece, Alec Cataldi salt, Adrien Sugar, wholesome salt, Fu Salt, Kwami Shenanigans, Nooroo is a little shit

Summary: Big Hero Juleka Couffaine

Note: Wound up being more complicated than I expected. French law is different from the US, and though I could fudge it, I didn’t want to.

AO3 link

Chapters 1-2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

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The lawyer explained in the limo that orders of protection, under French law, were limited to domestic violence between partners, and though workplace bullying was considered “moral harassment” with criminal consequences, there were no such laws in place regarding school bullying.

“That is so not rock ‘n roll,” Jagged muttered, scowling. “French law is not cool.”

“However, French defamation law is strongly in our favor here, and you have can file a criminal complaint on your own behalf due to her defamation effecting your honor. Mlle. Dupain-Cheng’s parents—whom I am assuming you are including in your representation, M. Stone?—may file on her behalf given the impact of Mlle. Rossi’s defamation on her reputation.”

“Definitely including,” he said, nodding and glancing at Tom and Sabine. “Assuming you’re alright with that?”

Marinette’s parents nodded. They both seemed eager to have this taken care of.

“I’ve been concerned about Marinette for a while,” Sabine murmured, taking her daughter’s hand. “She’s seemed so… down, so distressed. I want this handled, and we’re happy you discovered this and are taking action, M. Stone.”

“I found out from Adrien, really. He came looking for help with his pops, and it all came out.”

Tom offered Adrien another pain au chocolat, smiling at him. “You’re always welcome at the bakery, son. Even if it’s just to hide from your father for a few hours.”

Adrien blushed at the attention, then was distracted when they pulled up in front of Collège Françoise Dupont.

The route from the limo to the collége was lined with reporters. Most students seemed to have all retreated into the school to avoid them. They could see Juleka peering out a window in one door, and Chloé stationed at the other.

Except for Lila, who was trying to talk to a reporter, who was clearly disinterested. When the limo driver opened the door for them, her voice lilted over the murmur, “and he used me and then dumped me!”

Marinette was getting out of the limo when they heard that, and she started to lose her balance. No one was in a position to help her.

Kagami hurried forward, managing to stay dignified as she drew Marinette into a hug that served to balance her.

“Good morning, Marinette. I love your outfit! Are you still willing to design one for me?”

Marinette flushed crimson, managing a wobbly grin as she straightened in Kagami’s embrace. “Of course, Kagami!”

They moved out of the way as Tom and Sabine exited the limo, receiving only confused murmurs from the crowd of journalists and paparazzi. They were joined by the lawyer, then Jagged and Penny, to excitement.

Lila’s eyes went wide at Jagged’s appearance, and he mugged for the cameras, tilting his Eiffel Tower sunglasses with one hand.

“This here’s my niece and favorite designer, Marinette. She designed these sunglasses, and of course my last album cover. She’s going to help me with the concept for my next album, too.”

That announcement led to shouted questions, both to Jagged and to Marinette, who stared at the journalist with wide eyes and tried (and failed) not to stutter.

It was easier after Kagami hooked their arms together and whispered. “Deep breaths. Slow exhales. You can take your time.”

Fortunately, she only had to answer one question before Adrien and Luka left the limo. After that, all attention was on them.

They were holding hands, as planned, shoulders together as though they were leaning on each other. Luka looked a little frazzled at the attention they were getting, but Adrien leaned close and murmured something Marinette couldn’t hear, and that eased the tension in his shoulders and led to the soft look that made the boyfriend claim seem believable. Flashes blinded them as journalists caught that moment on camera.

Lila chose that moment to stalk forward, pulling her hand back as though to slap… Luka? Before she could, Kagami grabbed her wrist.

“Are you attempting to assault Adrien’s boyfriend?” she demanded loudly, clearly playing for the cameras.

“That boyfriend is a pervert! A pederast!” Lila shrieked.

Luka blinked. “I’m not an adult. We’re both teenagers.”

“You’re no teenager. You’re a predator!”

Marinette stepped forward, about to lose her temper, her own hand itching to greet Lila’s face.

A slam sounded and Juleka pushed past Marinette and Kagami, her fist cocked. It hit Lila directly in the nose, sending blood droplets against the pavement, and Lila flying back against a paparazzi.

“How dare you talk about my brother that way! You’re not worthy of the bottom of his shoes!”

Juleka started to advance on the liar, who was wide-eyed and silent, sprawled on the ground.

Penny pulled the raging teen back, and Rose joined her, holding her around the waist and looking horrified.

“And that, folks, is Luka Couffaine’s little sister, Juleka,” Jagged announced. “Little spitfire, she is, just like her mum. You may recognize Couffaine, as in Anarka, my former guitarist and their lovely mother. You don’t cross a Couffaine.”

Lila tried to get herself together. “Luka was trying to court Marinette first!”

Marinette took a deep breath, taking comfort in Kagami’s hand on her back. “He needed a cover to be able to go out with Adrien. Kagami and I stepped up. That’s all.”

“There was reason to keep it secret,” Kagami said, taking over the story they’d decided on. “The moment Adrien’s father learned of it, he tried to make Adrien break up with Luka and date Lila. She is furious because her plan to entrap him did not work.”

That news was greeted by another murmur from the crowd, this one louder. Marinette could see the Gorilla on the outskirts, towering over the rest. Adrien waved at him, and the man cocked the first smile she’d ever seen from him, and then walked away.

Marinette remembered it was her turn to speak. “And, really, Lila’s been grabbing on him and verging on sexual assault for weeks. Wouldn’t take no for an answer. If anyone’s a predator, it’s her.”

Lila let out a growl and threw herself toward Marinette. Kagami pulled her out of the way and left her foot out to send the girl sprawling.

“Perhaps this is a good time for me to step in,” the lawyer said smoothly, stepping between them and Lila. “You have been lying about my client and his employee. You claimed you were injured on behalf of my client while saving a nonexistent kitten, and that he then wrote a song for you in gratitude, spreading this rumor around your collége, and reaching beyond via a blog interview. You have engaged in a defamation and insult campaign against his employee, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, and even attempted to have her expelled based on lies. You have, in fact, threatened to do worse, which I’m guessing is what the attempted assault just now was. M. Stone does not tolerate defamation against himself or his staff, and M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng do not tolerate defamation against their daughter.”

She pulled out several papers, holding them out to Lila as she picked herself off the ground.

“The offense against M. Stone is public, as it appeared on a public and widely-read blog. The offenses against Mlle. Dupain-Cheng are considered non-public. But we have filed criminal defamation charges against you, Mlle. Rossi. These are copies of the filings. Copies are also being delivered to your mother at her workplace.”

Lila snatched the papers and crumpled them, her jaw tight with rage, blood still dripping from her nose. “M. Agreste made me! He said to deal with Marinette, that she was a bad influence!”

Marinette gasped, feeling Kagami stiffen beside her. Adrien was staring in open-mouthed horror. Luka looked angry, and Jagged looked livid. Tom and Sabine were exchanging worried looks. The reporters were murmuring again. All of this was, of course, being aired and reported on.

“Interesting public allegations.” The lawyer smiled. “Obviously, you will receive more official documents on the charges by the court.”

“Just what is going on here?”

Principal Damocles was standing inside the door of the school.

“This is a place of education, not a media circus!”

Lila seized an opportunity. “Juleka punched me, M. Damocles! I think she broke my nose!”

“Juleka—”

“Actually,” the lawyer interrupted smoothly, “given that this took place on the sidewalk rather than within the school, M. Damocles has no jurisdiction. Mlle. Rossi is of course able to file assault charges; however, given that Mlle. Couffaine is the daughter of a former employee of M. Stone, and Mlle. Rossi had just engaged in very public defamation against her brother on camera in front of journalists, it is likely M. Stone will ask I amend the filing to include M. Couffaine as a victim.”

“Yep!” Jagged popped the ‘p.’

Lila went pale, her fists shaking.

“And we have further business with M. Damocles. Given the ‘media circus,’ and attempted assault by Mlle. Rossi, M. Couffaine will be escorted home by M. Stone’s limo driver.”

Marinette turned to Adrien and Luka, who were still holding hands and looking a bit frozen. Adrien recognized that it was their cue first, turning to Luka and looking a bit shy.

“Will I see you for lunch?”

Luka smiled, reaching up with his free hand to brush a lock of hair from Adrien’s face. “Of course, mon étoile. I look forward to it.”

The blush on Adrien’s face looked real as Luka brought up his hand to kiss it, then embraced him.

The cameras ate it up, just as they had expected. Luka managed to look longing as he let go of Adrien and stepped back into the limo, his part of the morning done.

Kagami squeezed Marinette’s shoulder, leaning close. “I must leave if I am to arrive to school on time. You will prevail. And if you need protection, I believe Mlle. Juleka is a wonderful candidate for the job.”

Marinette turned to give Kagami a hug. Adrien did as well, and together they watched for a moment as she weaved her way through the paparazzi before they turned back to the task at hand.

Phase Two: the school.

[nandoor]

(so i may have went & wrote a short lil scene set after 2x05 / colin’s promotion where nandor actually apologizes to nadja for, y’know, burning her village down...)

...

Nandor had always enjoyed Nadja’s company—and, even now, despite the wedge that he had inadvertently pushed between them, he could not deny that Nadja was dear to him and had been one of his only friends for nearly a century now. He had originally gotten along with Nadja before warming up to Laszlo, her fun, easygoing nature and charisma tethering Nandor to her long before he even realized that he saw her as a genuine friend. Unlike with most vampires he encountered (though he was loathe to admit it), there had rarely been an awkward moment between them—very little fazed Nadja and for that, he was grateful.

She took each of his eccentricities in stride, even encouraging some of his more newfound interests. A passion for taxidermy, for instance, was something Nadja and Laszlo shared with him—his boar, Barry, had been a one-off acquisition when he had taken it from a victim’s home, unable to part with the smiling beast and its ivory tusks. When he finally got around to displaying it, he was surprised to see that Nadja, inspired by him, had taken the initiative to move her own taxidermy animals from storage and placed them in her bedroom, enshrining them in glass as if she were making a museum of sorts. Later, at Nadja’s behest, he too added to the décor of the shared living places within the house, his other favorite contribution being a grizzly bear that resided near the fireplace in the music room.

In short, Nadja cared about him—even at his worst, when he knew he was being as petulant as an unruly child, Nadja was there to be a voice of reason. She never lied to him, her blunt honesty a refreshing change from his time as a warlord, where honey dripped from everyone’s lips and no one, not even his own flesh and blood, were brave enough to disagree with him, to steer him off the path of destruction he seemed hell-bent on walking until it was too late. Nadja, in her own sharp but well-meaning way, could get him to snap out of any downward, self-destructive spiral with a well-placed kick at his shin or barbed comment that ultimately revealed a genuine truth about himself that he hadn’t realized before. 

She—along with Laszlo, if he were being honest—tethered him to the present when he felt like slipping into the vast ocean of time, his memories as deep and treacherous as a sinkhole.  Loneliness was a dangerous thing for vampires, after all, and while the ache remained, it did lessen when he was around his housemates. And it was hard to feel lonely or out of place when he was sandwiched between the pair, some bawdy comedy playing out on the computer device in his lap, courtesy of Guillermo. 

Perhaps that was why his heart now felt as if it was being skewered on a pike every time she looked at him with a cold, disappointed gaze. Metaphorically, of course, as he had told Guillermo; he’d been stabbed plenty of times on the battlefield before his turning that he knew this pain was different. The cut of a blade was a severe, sharp pain that brought the world into focus, everything just a little too loud and bright for the brief moment before the blood began to pour out. But all nonfatal wounds would eventually heal, scar tissue deadening the nerves there, the pain now a memory made physical, something carried in secret underneath his clothes. 

But this pain? He could not hide it—how much the guilt did eat away at him once he tucked away some of his bravado and pride. Alone in the dark confines of his fur-lined coffin, Nandor had spent the better part of the day wracking his memory, searching through centuries of memory for the mental image of Nadja’s little village, for the yellow flag that was burning in the painting.

He could not find it. And, though he would never admit it to anyone else, he felt a pang of shame at not being able to remember the conquest of Nadja’s village. It was just another pillage, another place he did not bother to learn the name of before it went up in a plume of smoke. At some point in his time as a soldier, the number of dead, the lives destroyed, stopped having a meaning. He killed because he was good at it, because it was what everyone expected of him, because destruction came as naturally to him as breathing.

I’m ruining it, he realized, stepping out of his coffin unaided just after dusk. I could lose Nadja if I don’t do something soon.

When he finds Nadja alone in the fancy room, he immediately goes to her, knowing it was better to act now while he still had the courage to do so. The words tumble out of his mouth in a flood of sincerity as he sat across from her, voice strained with the guilt he could no longer pretend didn’t exist. “Nadja… I’m sorry about what I did to your village. Truly. Is there anything I can do that will make you feel better?”

Perched on one of the armchairs, Nadja raised a brow, placing the book down on the table beside her. She crossed her leg, fingers lacing over her skirts as she tilted her head in thought.

“Well, I’d like if you’d rip your heart out and serve it on a platter. A fancy, golden platter. None of that crock you’d display at a garage sale.”

“…I’m not sure I can do that,” Nandor eventually replied, gaze glued to the floor. He didn’t dare look up, not ready to see the disgust in Nadja’s eyes yet again. Surely she hated him. He couldn’t even blame her; it was thanks to his pillaging that her village became a home to inhospitable creatures such as vampires, why Nadja lost her human life to a vampire masquerading as a snake, latching its teeth into the soft flesh of her neck.

Nadja bared her fangs in a pitying sneer, reaching over to cup Nandor’s cheek with a gentleness that confused him. Her touch itself almost startled him—it wasn’t that Nadja didn’t show physical affection, but it was usually much more subdued and quick. A pat on the shoulder, a brief touch of his knee, a playful shove, even a lazy hand trailing through his hair after a night spent inebriated on drug blood. This close, Nandor was forced to look at Nadja’s face, to see the small curl of her lips as she clicked her tongue loudly, thumb stroking the skin just above his cheekbone.

“You stupid little donkey, I was kidding. I forgive you. So stop with the pouty face. It doesn’t suit you.”

“Really? You’re not doing the leg-pulling?” 

Nadja nodded. “Yes. I know you can’t change what happened—I just wanted an apology.”

Nandor brightened instantly. “So we are okay-A again?”

“For now,” Nadja agreed, pulling her hand away. It took a great deal of effort for Nandor to remain seated, the stirrings of loneliness once again dredged up in the face of possibly losing one of his only friends. “Really, Nandor, I was more upset that you hid the truth from me. I thought we all agreed to be honest with each other, even if it may hurt at first.”

“I just didn’t want you to hate me,” Nandor admitted. “I should have burned that painting long ago—but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I didn’t know why, but maybe it was because I actually wanted you to find it one day.” 

Nadja chuckled dryly. “How very stereotypically mannish of you. Instead of talking about your feelings, you decided to hide them until they nearly got us killed by Colin Robinson. Next time, just bloody tell me what’s going on in that pink mushy brain of yours so we don’t die… again.”

“Well, when you put it like that it does seem rather foolish.” Nandor replied, grimacing in a way that only the tips of his fangs were visible. 

For a while, the pair lapsed into a companionable silence. A tension Nandor hadn’t realized he’d been holding in his shoulders began to ease away as he leaned back in his chair, sighing.

Nadja pressed a manicured nail to her chin, brows furrowing. “Now that I think about it… even though you did destroy my village, you did this while you were human. And vampire Nandor isn’t the same as human Nandor, is he?”

“That is true,” he replied, hands placed gingerly over his knees as he toyed with the ring on his left thumb. “You could say that I was a different person back then. Almost like I didn’t do it at all!”

Nadja, agile as a viper, swung her leg out to kick Nandor in the shin.“No, that was still definitely you, you silly, cowardly weasel of a vampire! You can’t pawn off your guilt to your human ghost self!”

“Oww! Okay, fair enough. Yeesh,” Nandor admitted, rubbing at his leg with a sour look which quickly morphed into thinly veiled fondness. They would be alright--it would take time and genuine effort on his part, but hopefully he’d regain Nadja’s trust eventually. And I’ve got all the time in the world to wait, he thought to himself. When he smiled warmly at Nadja he was pleased to see her smile back, fangs shining in the glow of the candlelight. 

Unbeknownst to either vampire, Colin Robinson hovered patiently at the door, eyes gleaming blue for a brief moment before returning to their usual color. He gave an unhappy look to the cameras.

“Well, there goes my all-you-can-eat buffet,” he began, shaking his head in disappointment. “But hey, buffets come and go. Vampire roommates, on the other hand, are forever. So I can’t say I’m all that upset—besides, this just gives me more of a reason to make Guillermo listen to my interpretive jazz solos which I’ve recorded on tape for everyone’s auditory pleasure.”

Not even the boom mic operator could resist giving a weary groan at the energy vampire’s words. 

[bisexualsforprompto]

Guilt and Love Chapter 4

“So demon spawn whos this soulmate we’ve heard so much about?” Teased Jason at dinner. “None of your business Todd.” Damian replied curtly. Dick started to crack up, “He-he has Ladybug on one wrist! And a French girl on another!” Jason almost spat out his steak, “Two soulmates?! Damnnnn. When’d you get so smooth?” Damian rolled his eyes. “Well, not really smooth if one is an insect!” Dick continued chuckling. Jason joined his laughter while Tim stifled a laugh. Bruce decided his son probably had enough ridicule, “That’s enough boys.”

“Fineee.” Jason snickered until he was able to calm himself down. Damian picked at his food, something didn’t sit right with that blonde kid and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He was barely paying attention to his family’s antics. He also couldn’t stop thinking about the Ladybug on his wrist. Some kind of superhero maybe? Damian stood up from his seat at the table and began to walk down to the batcave. “Where are you going?” Tim asked. “I need to research a certain blonde heathen.”

Turns out the blonde heathen was a model named Adrien Agreste, son of the famous designer Gabriel. Damian researched him for hours on end without avail. He recognized the presence of everyone who walked down to the batcave and when they realized he wouldn’t leave the computer he recognized their departure too. Damian couldn’t find anything all that helpful so he switched gears to look for superheroes named Ladybug. He didn’t expect to find anything but oddly enough there were thousands of hits, he clicked on the first site, a video clip.

“Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news! Nadja Chamack reporting live on the akuma Queen Wasp. Here are our heroes Ladybug and Chat Noir on the scene once again!” “Ladybug”...Marinette had also mentioned her Damian realized. She’d also mentioned Chat Noir, but as if he did something wrong… He quickly changed gears and searched Chat Noir. The post from the Ladyblog came up.

As of 2:27pm this Thursday Ladybug has confirmed that Chat Noir is no longer coming to fight akumas. Did our dynamic duo have a falling out? Stay tuned! Alya, Ladyblogger out!

‘Interesting’, Damian thought. ‘Marinette called that kid Chat. Maybe there is a correlation.’

“Damian it’s three am.” Dick said as he walked over to the boy at the computer. “And?” Damian asked, eyes still glued on the screen. “And don’t you want to be well-rested for your little coffee date tomorrow?” Damian narrowed his eyes at his brother, “How did you know about that?” Dick punched Damian in the arm playfully, “Hah you’re not denying it’s a date. And I may have overheard…” Damian scowled, “Overheard or eavesdropped?” “Who can say really?” Damian growled, “I can’t believe you.”

“Don’t change the subject. Come on you have to sleep.” Damian rolled his eyes, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” He continued scrolling trying to learn about Chat Noir and Ladybug. “Hey that’s my line!” Tim said as he rushed into the room with coffee in hand. “First Grayson now Drake, you just keep multiplying.” Dick picked Damian up much to his chagrin, but he was too tired and Dick was far too much bigger than him so he squirmed until he realized he wasn’t going to win this battle. Dick threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried him to his room.

Dick threw his adopted brother on his bed, “Stay.” “Not a dog Grayson!” Dick chuckled, that statement was the last thing to come out of Damian’s mouth before he drifted to sleep.

Damian woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, it was 8:30am, he should’ve woken up awhile ago. He answered the phone groggily, not checking the caller ID. “Yes?!”

“Oh my gosh! I’m sorry did I wake you up?!” Asked a panicked girl with a heavy French accent on the other end. “Marinette? No, no sorry. What were you calling about.” He perked up a little. “I was just calling to see when you wanted to go for coffee.” Damian winced when he remembered the time, “Maybe make that brunch. How about 10?” Damian could practically see Marinette’s grin over the phone in her answer, “Sounds amazing! Where would you like to meet?” Damian was a little groggy but he still wanted to treat Marinette well, as she should be treated, “Can I have the address of your hotel? I can pick you up and take you somewhere. Maybe give a small tour of Gotham since you haven’t been here before.” He wasn’t nervous for her response, no way. He wasn’t afraid she was going to yell at him for asking for the place she was staying, absolutely not. It was ridiculous to imply such a thing.

“Sounds perfect! I’ll send you where I’m staying!” Marinette exclaimed. Damian let out some breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Perfect, I’ll be there at 10 sharp.”

~~~~~~~

Marinette brushed her hair once more for good measure. “Can you imagine Tikki?! He’s so chivalrous, he’s picking me up!” She sighed dreamily as Tikki giggled. “I hope you enjoy the date Marinette, you deserve it!” Marinette grinned as she took her purse and walked out of her room.

~~~~~~~

“Oh Marinette where are you going?” Asked Lila with a sickening sweetness. “None of your business Lila.” Lila faked sniffling and Marinette turned around, prepared to tell her off but then saw her surrounded by the whole French class. They were not happy, even Adrien who was normally impartial. “Are you going off with that Wayne kid?” Adrien asked stone faced. “So what if I am?” Marinette asked her ex partner. He ran after her and dug his nails into her skin, “Don’t leave. He’s bad news.” Marinette struggled, “Let go of me Adrien!”

“You heard the lady.” Said a voice causing Adrien to jump back. There in full glory stood Red Hood, Nightwing, and Red Robin. “W-what are you doing here?!” Squeaked the model. The class gawked at the heroes before them. Dick wanted to say they were here to check on their newest member of the family, but he figured Damian would not appreciate them giving away their identities. “That’s not important, but what is important is not touching a girl when she says no. And what’s important is not just standing by and letting it happen!” Jason, the hothead he was, yelled at the class. The class fled tails between their legs out of the lobby.

Marinette smiled, “Thank you. That was much appreciated! So I’m guessing Robin told you I’m his soulmate…” Marinette was a little surprised, Robin had seemed so...Not like the others. If he teammates were kind maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. “Wait, wait you met Robin?” Marinette gave them a confused look, “Uh yes…” Nightwing stood in shock, “Do you know his identity?” Marinette shook her head, “Of course not. Believe me I know how important secret identities are.” Nightwing stood in a stupor just like his brothers, this meant she had two names on her wrist like Damian. ‘Could this mean Marinette was Lad-‘ Nightwing’s head started to pound. ‘What was I thinking about? I can’t remember.’

Damian walked into the lobby of the Wayne hotel, when he saw his brothers in costume talking to Marinette he immediately regretted telling them where she was staying. Damian gave them the death stare as Marinette skipped up to him. Nightwing gave him a look, it said ‘I need to tell you something.’ Damian nodded at the silent communication and headed out with Marinette.

~~~~~~~

“So Damian I need to tell you something.” Marinette fidgeted with her fork not looking her soulmate in the eyes. She felt so bad that she hadn’t immediately told him that she had two soulmates. A loud ringing made Damian fall out of their engrossed conversation. He checked his phone and almost gasped, “I’m sorry, Marinette but I really have to go. To be continued?” Marinette nodded, although she was enjoying his company she was nervous to tell him about her second soulmate. “I’m going to call my butler to pick you up.”

“B-butler?!” Marinette exclaimed. Damian gave her an odd look, “Uh yeah…” The pieces started to click in Marinette’s mind. She hid her face in her hands, “Oh my god you’re that Damian Wayne!” She banged her head on the table. Damian almost chuckled, although it was refreshing to know his soulmate was sweet to him without knowing he was rich. “I’m going to have to take the car I drove you in, but Alfred will be around soon. Let’s do this again soon Marinette, if you’re available, of course.” Damian said shyly. Marinette nodded as she stifled a blush. ‘She’s kind of adorable’ Damian mused as he left the café. He checked his notification from his father once more, it simply read “Killer Croc”. Damn it why couldn’t Damian just live in a normal city?!

~~~~~~~

Croc wasn’t all that difficult, especially not with him, his father and all his ‘brothers’ there to help. What was difficult was explaining to his brothers that he never met Marinette as Robin.

“I’m telling you Grayson, the only time I’ve ever seen Marinette was as Damian.” He protested. “But baby bird, if that’s true that means your soulmate was lying about meeting Robin!” Dick said, millions of warning signals going off in his head. Damian shook his head, “Or it means she met somebody she thinks was Robin. Drake pull up the security footage from Marinette’s hotel, specifically last night.”

Tim pulled up the feed and Damian scowled, oh how heads were going to roll...

Taglist (y’all know how this goes):

@interobanginyourmom

@beaversuenightly

@legendaryneckjudgestudent

@luciferge

@northernbluetongue

@mandy984

@Zebrabaker

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@redscarlet95

@panda3506

[chelsfic]

Five Times Nandor Tried and Failed to Make a New Vampire, and One Time He Succeeded - Guillermo x Nandor fic (one-shot)

WWDITS Masterlist

Summary: Journey into Nandor’s past and discover the real reason he’s been so hesitant to turn Guillermo all these years...

A/N: I hope you enjoy this small offering!! If you like and comment that would make me a very happy little writer creature.

Warnings: Crack, Fluff, Smut, mentions of concubines in Nandor’s human past, Blood drinking...obviously

---

“Truth be told, I’m not feeling my usual plucky, intrepid self.”

  Nandor bares his fangs in a nervous smile. He’s sitting stiffly on the chaise in his crypt, fiddling with his rings as the documentary people question him about tonight’s...big event.

  The vampire lifts his eyes to the ceiling and exhales before continuing, “It’s just--and I don’t like talking about this, but Guillermo says I need to work on expressing my...feelings--it’s just that in the past I might not always have been... entirely successful in making new vampires.”

  There’s a beat of awkward silence during which Nandor casually picks at some lint on his sleeve.

  “I mean, there was my nineteenth wife…”

  ---

  Andrakis

  Nandor languished in the empty halls of his palace for a week after his thirty-seven wives left. But at a certain point there comes a time to stop moping and start acting. Plus he’d eaten all of the servants and he was a little alarmed by the crowd of peasants outside armed with pitchforks and torches. 

  So, his new vampiric form was a little problematic. He was now homeless, wifeless and--worst of all--horseless. Driven from his land, Nandor was forced to take refuge from the lethal light of day in whatever haphazard way he could. He snuck into wine cellars. He broke into catacombs. And, most shamefully, he even buried himself in the earth when no other shelter was available. But at least his new state gave him the means to solve one of his problems. 

  There was no reason that Nandor should have to walk the night alone. He thought he remembered enough of what transpired on the battlefield to be able to turn someone else into a vampire. And as soon as the thought occurred to him he knew there was only one person with whom he wished to share this cursed gift.

  Andrakis . His favorite wife. She was sweet and young, with a magnificent ample backside that Nandor loved to squeeze and slap. She had not yet bore him any children but perhaps that was for the best. No messy loose ends for her to leave behind. He knew she would agree for she, alone among his wives, had wept sorrowfully as they rode away. 

  Nandor used his new vampiric senses to find her. It took months, but eventually he tracked her back to her family home along the Euphrates. He walked through lands scorched and ruined by his own army and he thought about the first time he laid eyes on Andrakis. As he recalled, the town was on fire and his men were pillaging the wealthy houses for gold and jewels. They were also rounding up the attractive, young citizens for...reasons. Nandor took one look at his sweet Andrakis and said, “No! That one is for me and me only!”

  So romantic.

  He could have kept her as his concubine, but Nandor was infatuated with her sweet, soft spoken ways and her delicious round thighs. He gave her jewels and furs and when he finally returned from the campaign he made her one of his wives. All Nandor’s wives loved him, of course, because if they didn’t he would have their heads chopped off. But it was different with Andrakis. She seemed to truly care. She fretted when he went into battle, insisting that she be the one to help him don his armor. She cried real tears and begged him to be safe and return to her. It really moved him. Also, again, she had a fantastic ass.

  The night he, at last, found her, Nandor floated up to her window, scratching at the wooden shutters and calling to her softly. 

  “My sweet Andrakis! It is I, your husband, Nandor the Relentless! I’ve come to assert my claim on you, cherished one! Do you...want to, maybe, come to the window now and let me inside?”

  With his heightened abilities, he could hear her soft gasp and the rustle of fabric as she pushed back her bed coverings and slowly approached the window. Nandor heard her heart racing, the thundering gush of blood flowing through her veins and her trembling breath. He opened his mouth and his eyes rolled back with pleasure as he caught the smell of her blood just on the other side of those thin planks of wood.

  “Time to open up, sweet one!” Nandor singsonged, placing his hand on the shutter as if he could reach through and grab her.

  “Is it really you, my husband?” Her voice was as soft and sweet as he remembered. 

  “It is really, really me, Andrakis!”

  She unlatched the window and Nandor beamed at the sight of her pretty, round face. That may have been a mistake--he kept forgetting about the fangs--the poor woman took a quick step back and brought her hands to her chest in shock.

  “Oh, my Nandi! What has happened to you?” her eyes widened and she took a cautious step toward the window, peeking out over the sill, “You are flying, dear one!”

  “Isn’t it great?!” Nandor laughed, kicking his legs out merrily and doing a little twirl. “I thought you might want to join me. You know...with the flying and the eternal life and the--ehm--blood drinking.”

  She started to shake her head before he even finished and Nandor’s smile faltered. He rushed back to the window sill and placed his hands there, just on the outside edge of the invisible barrier protecting the home’s occupants. 

  “Andrakis...I am so lonely. And...and there is no one to help me with my armor or give me a massage when my head hurts. I think you liked being my wife, didn’t you?”

  The woman’s eyes flood with tears and she comes even closer, leaning onto the window sill and reaching out a shaking hand to press against his bearded cheek.

  “I love you, Nandi! And I am honored to be your wife, always. I will not take another husband, but… Nandor, I am frightened!”

  “My honey,” Nandor crooned, laying his forehead against hers as she leaned out the window, “There is nothing to fear. I will protect you forever if you will stay by side.”

  ---

  “...and then I ate her.”

  Nandor held his hands out and shrugged his shoulders, “What are you going to do? These things happen, right? No! I was very upset about it for the next eighty years or so. She trusted me to take care of her and I fucking ate her!”

  Nandor stares into space for a long moment. He’s had eight centuries to get over the loss of his favorite wife so it’s not grief that shows on his pinched face. It looks more like apprehension and self-doubt. The crew asks a muffled question and he starts as if they’ve woken him from a daydream.

  “No...no I do not think I would ever recover if I were to lose control with my Guillermo,” his hands clench into fists on his knees. “I will not lose control.”

  There’s more silence and one of the crew members suggests cutting the interview when Nandor continues as if he hasn’t heard them, “Guillermo is strong. He’s a cool, vampire killer guy now. He will be alright. He...he has to be alright.”

  ---

  “Nadja?” Nandor stands at the threshold to her and Laszlo’s crypt, anxiously plucking his fingers in the air. “May I speak with you about something in private? In the fancy room?”

  Nadja is braiding her dolly’s hair. There’s something really creepy about that thing that Nandor can’t quite put his finger on. Like it’s always watching him. Yeesh . Nadja rolls her eyes and snaps, “Can’t we talk in here? I’m going to tell Laszlo whatever pig-brained scheme you’re wanting to talk about anyway…”

  Nandor glances at Laszlo, hunched over and diddling the keys of his organ with a shit-eating grin, “That’s true, old chap. There are no secrets between me and my sweet mamtam…”

  Laszlo winks smarmily and Nandor rolls his eyes, “Please, Nadja! It is just a formality!”

  She shrieks in aggravation, accidentally yanking the doll’s hair and then cooing apologetically at the thing. Nandor grimaces uncomfortably.

  “Fine, you stupid ostrich. But this better be quick!”

  Once he’s properly secured the curtain and made sure to check for eavesdroppers, Nandor lays it out for Nadja. He speaks haltingly and without meeting her eyes. 

  “So...you see, now that Guillermo and I are...are...more than master and familiar, I am wanting to make him a vampire. But you may have noticed that my past attempts in this area have been a little shaky…”

  “Shaky! I think you mean totally fucked up the rotten asshole! Don’t forget you told me all about Babsy the Brainscrambled!”

  ---

  Babaius

  Babaius was a little guy he met a couple hundred years after the whole thing with Andrakis. He was a Wallachian painter’s apprentice and he had agreed to do a gratis portrait of Nandor for the practice. The portrait was flat and middling, but what did you want? It was the 16th century and the cool Renaissance shit hadn’t exactly reached the backwoods of Eastern Europe quite yet. More important was the fact that this cute painter guy had managed to ingratiate himself with the apex predator he had unwittingly invited into his home.

  Originally, Nandor’s plan was to kill him once the portrait was complete. But the longer he sat there, staring back at the man as he worked with that cute little half-smirk on his face, the longer Nandor had to appreciate his form. Babaius was not as curvy and sensuous as Andrakis. He was taller and leaner. But his lips were pleasantly plump and his fingers long and elegant. Again, Nandor felt the weight of eternal loneliness and he began to wonder.

  This time he made sure to feed beforehand. When he arrived at the human’s rooms he found him looking more excited than Nandor had ever seen him.

  “It’s complete!” he gushed, grabbing Nandor’s hand and pulling him over to the easel. “Come see!”

  Nandor stared at the clumsy, dour-faced rendering of himself and smiled politely. Is this really what I look like? Why is my head so small?

  He felt the weight of Babaius’s hopeful eyes on him and schooled his voice into false praise, “Wow! It’s...so...wow! You sure used a lot of...orange on my face, didn’t you? Bold choice…”

  “I’m so pleased that you like it, Nandor,” the human’s voice was slightly breathless and he looked up through his lashes coquettishly. Ah ha!

  “Yes, well, now that that’s done…” Nandor swept Babaius’s long hair off his shoulder and plucked at the collar of his thin shirt. “Perhaps we could discuss other things…”

  “ Oh, yes! ” Babaius trilled, launching himself into Nandor’s arms and frantically dropping kisses on his neck, chin and jaw. “I thought ...but I wasn’t certain… but yes, Nandor! Yes!”

  Nandor wrapped his arms around the man’s back and laughed a little at just how easy this was going to be. No mistakes this time. He was completely and totally in control.

  ---

  “Alright, Najda! I get it! I know you have to give them more than just one drop of blood now, okay?”

  Nadja nods somberly, “That poor man. Could not even remember his own name after you turned him. What happened to him again?”

  “I ripped off his head,” Nandor snaps, sinking into the couch cushions in a sulk. “It was the humane thing to do.”

  Nadja squints her eyes trying to remember something, “But wasn’t there someone else after…?”

  Nandor’s lips thin into a narrow line and he crosses his arms over his chest with a huff of annoyance, “I suppose you mean Aggy the Shrieker?”

  ---

  Agnes

  Agnes was something called a Quaker, which meant that she did not go about wearing a crucifix. She was also highly susceptible to hypnosis. Nandor didn’t think this had anything to do with her Quaking, it was just a nice bonus. She’d served him well for a number of years, procuring a very fine assortment of virgins for him night after night. The good lady was entirely ignorant to the fact that it was she who drew these young innocents to their doom. Nandor erased her memories each time before sending her away. She would hem and cluck along with the other Friends when news of a disappearance reached her ears.

  After a few decades, Nandor noticed that her face was starting to turn wrinkly and her movements were not as swift as they once were. The prospect of finding another familiar with a brain as soft and accepting as Agnes’s was a wearying thought. Enough so that he considered, once again, trying his hand at creating a new vampire. 

  This time it was a sure thing. Agnes appeared at his doorstep that night, like always. At her side was a fresh-faced boy whose blood positively shouted his innocence. Delicious . Nandor would feed first. Then he would just do a quick refresher of Agnes’s hypnosis so that the poor lady did not have a fright once she saw Nandor’s blood stained face. And then a quick nip and plenty of blood. Voila! A new wrinkly-faced vampire baby is born.

  The plan was faultless.

  ---

  “And no hypnosis! Alright. Seems nit-picky, but fine!” Nandor grumbles. He seems suddenly to remember that Nadja is helping him and his voice softens, “ Please, Nadja . No more walking on memory street. Just tell me what to do so that I do not hurt Guillermo. I cannot stand the thought of him becoming a shrieker .”

  “Nandor, you beautiful giant baby,” Nadja’s face gentles into genuine sympathy. “I’m going to tell you just what to do. Even you won’t be able to mess this up.”

  And she does. She tells him how to listen to his human’s heart and count the seconds in between beats, waiting until just the right moment to finish drinking. She advises him to prepare his blood ahead of time, decanting it into a vial or mug. He should not count on Guillermo being conscious enough to suckle from his wrist as he’d originally intended. Pour the blood down his throat if he has to. Once he drinks the blood the transition will begin, but Nandor’s work is not done. He must procure for his new vampire the most succulent of virgin feasts. He must care for him during the sickness. He must watch over him and make sure that the baby vampire does not do anything silly like run out into the sunlight or drink a gallon of holy water. 

  “You must be resolved and sure in your actions!” Nadja finally says, casting a skeptical glance at the immortal warrior. “You think you can handle all that?”

  Nandor sits there looking shell shocked for a moment before twitching his mouth into a forced smile and holding up two thumbs.

  “OK-A!”

  ---

  On his way back to his crypt Nandor glances into the camera and leans in conspiratorially.

  “She does not even know about Roger the Rocker or Benjy…” he whispers, his lips folding into an embarrassed frown.

  ---

  Roger

  During the 1970s Nandor went through a brief but intense love affair with punk rock. Disco would soon supplant the vampire’s fixation on studded leather and the Sex Pistols, but for a few fleeting years he was, truly, insufferable.

  “ Fucking goats’ balls ! Nandor! We are trying to have a blood feast in here! Will you turn off that unholy screeching!?” Nadja shouted, blood dripping down her chin as she drew back from the pathetically mewling woman sandwiched between herself and her husband. 

  Laszlo reared back with a lecherous grin on his bloody lips, “Did I hear you mention something about unholy screeching, my sweet dimplebottom?”

  “ Oh, Laszlo! ” Nadja giggled, leaning over the dying victim to latch onto her lover’s mouth. 

  Nandor slammed the door to his crypt and rolled his eyes, “Don’t mind them, Roger. They’re just a couple of sell-out perverts who don’t understand ay-narchy and non-conformationism.”

  Roger was a young human man with spiked green hair and a studded leather vest. He was the coolest familiar Nandor had ever had. He was also an alcoholic and a heavy drug user and half the time he didn’t even do what Nandor asked of him. But once he explained about “the man” and toppling “the system”...well, Nandor still didn’t get it but he was impressed! He felt that Roger would bring a certain rebellious youth to their cohort that might give them a cutting edge in these modern times. 

  The problem was that Nandor had never tried drug blood before. It didn’t hit him until Roger was half-drained but then the world spun off its axis. Nandor ripped his face away from Roger’s savaged neck, stumbling backward and falling down hard on his ass. The vampire exploded into a fit of giggles as the familiar twitched limply on the floor beside him.

  “Roger! I am ball tripping!” Nandor laughed, turning his head to look at his friend, “Whoopsie! Almost forgot! Time for a little drinky, Roger…”

  Nandor tore into his own wrist, ripping a jagged wound open with his fangs and smearing the gore over Roger’s lips and chin.

  “Chug! Chug! Chug!” Nandor cackled, falling back down and letting his wrist fall limp against the human’s mouth. He started singing softly under his breath, “Ayyyynarchy and the U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!”

  In the end Nandor was so high he went to his slumber completely forgetting about the moaning, half-turned man on the floor of his crypt. He woke the next night to find Roger wandering around the front lawn, sun-burned and hideously deformed. He also had no memory of who Nandor was or anything at all about his human life.

  Nandor wouldn’t see him again until decades later when he caught the skeevy creep trying to take a bite out of Guillermo at the Sassy Cat Club. Nandor was so spooked to see the evidence of his past failure standing next to his most cherished human companion that he...perhaps handled the incident in a less-than-totally-gallant manner.

  ---

  Benjy

  Benjy...to be honest, Nandor isn’t entirely sure what came of the old clunker. He turned him and dumped him. Maybe not his finest moment but...Nandor had other things on his mind at the time…

  ---

  Guillermo

  The moment that Guillermo flew to their rescue at the Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires, Nandor felt something shift inside his chest. It was an actual physical sensation like a key turning in a lock. How many years had he spent building moats, walls and fortresses between himself and his handsome, caring, devoted, achingly good familiar in order to protect his sweet innocence from the poison that was Nandor the Relentless? And all along he’d been underestimating him! Nandor watched Guillermo twirl, kick, punch and stake his way through a theater full of angry vampires. In the end he stood alone on a mountain of conquered enemies, covered in blood and heaving with the adrenaline of battle. 

  Nandor had never been more aroused.

  He was silent and brooding on the drive home. He sat in the passenger seat and kept flicking his eyes in Guillermo’s direction, hoping to catch his gaze. But his ex-familiar kept his eyes fixed on the road, his face a storm cloud of some scary-looking emotion that Nandor couldn’t name. The vampire felt unease crawl up his spine. Was he planning to leave again as soon as he dropped them off at the house?

  Nandor cringed in embarrassment as he watched the look of disappointment cross Guillermo’s features at the sight of the wrecked foyer. Dead bodies littered the floor, candle wax and blood stained every surface. He was overcome with shame and humiliation that they had made such a mess of the home Guillermo had toiled to maintain for eleven years. 

  Guillermo stood awkwardly in the front doorway, not quite inside and not quite outside, hovering on the threshold of their home. It was their home , wasn’t it? Nandor’s eyes flicked to the sad, dirty mattress in the cupboard beneath the stairs and he silently cursed himself. It’s possible he may not have made this quite a happy home for Guillermo.

  “I’ll just...go now…” Guillermo’s voice was soft and uncertain again, as if he hadn’t just committed a bad ass massacre.

  “No!” the word strangled from Nandor’s throat and he lurched forward, raising his hand to stop the human. For a split second he was completely unguarded and the raw desperation in his voice and on his face froze Guillermo in his tracks. Then Nandor’s eyes shifted to his fellow vampires, feeling the weight of their stares and he continued in a closer approximation to his usual haughty authority, “I would speak with you a moment. In private.”

  Once the door to his crypt clicked shut Nandor rounded on Guillermo, taking him by the shoulders and pressing him into the heavy wooden door. He loomed over the human for a moment, fangs bared, breathing raggedly as he scented him. Guillermo’s intoxicating, virginal aroma was mixed with the tang of his enemies’ blood. The irresistible fragrance threatened to overcome the vampire and he let out a pitiful mewling cry as he pressed even closer. Nandor’s forehead thunked against the door and his body was flush with Guillermo’s. Now he would know . The hard, bulging evidence of Nandor’s arousal was pressed into the human’s soft thigh-- unmistakable . Nandor keened a sob and his body went boneless as he fell to his knees in supplication before the human.

  “Guillermo, please!” Nandor sobbed.

  Guillermo stood as if paralyzed, staring back at his former master with shocked, wide eyes. Nandor felt broken, like one of those colorful donkeys split open and pouring out his guts. He did not exactly know what it was he wanted. Everything about this moment was highly uncomfortable. For one thing, the floor was very hard and hurty on his knees. For another thing, his erection was straining painfully in his pants. Also, he was realizing for the first time in his long, long life that there existed a person whom Nandor loved more than himself. And he was desperately, mortally afraid that Guillermo would leave him again.

  “What is it, master?” Guillermo flinched at the slip up but he pressed on, his eyes burning with earnest intensity. “What do you want?”

  Nandor had known the answer to this question for eleven years. He knew it the first time he laid eyes on the sweet, plump mortal working the panini press at Panera Bread. He knew it the first time Guillermo graced him with his smile after Nandor showed him his fangs. He knew it when Guillermo came to live with them, hauling his rolly luggage case up the front steps and shaking with nerves and excitement. He knew it when he spent hours crafting his familiar’s sweet face from glitter. He knew it when Guillermo cried, silently begging Nandor to give him a reason to stay. He’d known it in a thousand different ways for a thousand different reasons and he’d keep knowing it for a thousand years, long after the flicker of Guillermo’s short human life extinguished.

  “You,” Nandor’s voice was a broken whisper. “I want you, Guillermo.”

  The air expelled from Guillermo’s lungs in a shaky gasp as he fell to his knees as well. He took the vampire’s face in his warm little hands and Nandor had to remind himself that those were hands capable of plunging a wooden stake through his heart. The very thought sent another wave of lust through him. 

  Guillermo’s lips trembled and his eyes flooded with tears as he spoke, “If you’re just saying that to manipulate me…”

  Nandor grabbed Guillermo’s wrists, circling them with his long fingers, keeping him from removing his hands from Nandor’s face. 

  “No, Guillermo. I--I have not been a good master to you…” Nandor gulped, fighting years of careful control in order to get the words out. “I’ve lied to you many, many times. Made you think that you were just a servant to me. I thought that I was protecting us both. But...really I was hurting you. When you left me I...I…”

  Nandor’s voice trailed off and Guillermo allowed it, not wanting to push his fragile vampire too far. 

  “If we’re going to do this, I need to know. I need to know what exactly you want from me, Nandor. Because I know what I want. I’ve known for eleven... fucking years,” Guillermo’s voice hardens toward the end and Nandor feels himself go weak. His little Guillermo...so forceful and strong!

  Suddenly the human was leaning in and brushing his lips over Nandor’s. It was the barest, gentlest hint of a kiss but it felt like a live wire touching his skin. Nandor’s eyes drifted closed and he saw stars as Guillermo pushed his tongue between his lips and plundered his mouth. Oh, why had he forced them to wait so long for this?

  Guillermo pulled back, the combination of his blushing cheeks and the splatter of blood along his jaw was a powerful image. Nandor whined, following Guillermo’s movement and pecking kisses to the man’s mouth.

  “Nandor, wait! Stop!” There was mirth in Guillermo’s eyes but a fragile uncertainty as well. “I need you to tell me this is what you want. That I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and find you pretending this never happened. Things have to change if we’re...if we’re going to do this.”

  Nandor nodded frantically, pawing at his human’s face as unmanly tears spilled from his eyes and rolled into the whiskers of his beard. 

  “Yes! Please! I want this. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re brave and strong and cool and beautiful and I lo--” Nandor’s mouth snapped shut and his dark eyes widened in fear at the words that almost slipped out. But when he took in his human’s guarded yet hopeful expression he growled and forced them out. “I love you, Guillermo.”

  Guillermo choked on a sob and his face crumbled rather alarmingly. 

  “I love you so fucking much you stupid asshole,” he replied.

  Nandor scowled, “Hey! There’s no need for all that!”

  But before he could work himself up to being truly affronted, Guillermo launched himself at him, knocking Nandor over backwards and attacking his face with his mouth. 

  “Things are going to change,” Guillermo repeated between open-mouthed kisses along Nandor’s bearded jaw.

  “Yes!”

  “I’m not gonna dig graves for you anymore or polish your boots!”

  “...Alright.”

  “And,” Guillermo ripped open the fly of Nandor’s trousers, eliciting a delighted howl from the vampire, “you’re going to make me a vampire.”

  ---

  “So tonight is the night!” Nandor injects false levity into his voice as he strides down the hallway carrying a stack of towels on one arm. The camera shakes as the crew follows behind him. 

  “I’ve made all of the arrangements! We have a juicy virgin in the cell…”

  The camera peaks into a dimly lit closet where a young man is bound and gagged. Across his forehead giant block letters spell out: “DO NOT EAT! GUILLERMO’S VIRGIN FEAST!”

  “I’ve decanted plenty of my blood…”

  Nandor holds up a mason jar filled with thick, dark crimson liquid as he mounts the stairs.

  “I’ve got the towels and Guillermo has a first aid box ready…”

  He finally arrives at the door to the big, blue bedroom and turns around to face the camera with an apologetic smile.

  “ Vampires only! ” He slams the door in their faces.

  Once the door closes behind him Nandor lets out a long breath and his head falls back to hit the wood with a loud thunk. He lets the facade drop for just a second and the cloying anxiety and terror of what he is about to do rises to the surface. Then Guillermo looks up at him from where he’s sitting up on his big new bed and Nandor forces a cheery smile. 

  “Who’s ready for their unholy transformation?!” he warbles, shaking the jar of blood in his hand. 

  Guillermo grins, coming over to stand before him in all his warm, soft, human grandeur. Nandor drops his head and plucks at the sleeve of his ex-familiar’s thick, stripy sweater. He hopes that Guillermo will not think himself too cool to wear such garments once he is a vampire. He’s grown to love Guillermo’s simple human clothes.

  “Nandor…” Guillermo takes the jar and the towels from him, setting them down on his bureau next to the collection of wooden stakes and crucifixes. “You don’t have to pretend. I’m scared too.”

  The vampire lets out a breath and tugs his human into his chest, wrapping him in a fierce, suffocating hug. He lets his cheek rest on top of Guillermo’s dear head. Guillermo clings to the front of Nandor’s long tunic, pressing his face into the rich, embroidered fabric and wetting it with his tears. 

  “It’ll be okay,” Guillermo comforts Nandor, his voice trembling with emotion. In the short weeks since the incident at the theater and since their relationship took such a sharp turn in the right direction, Guillermo has been shocked and pleasantly surprised to find how dramatically the dynamic between them has changed. Guillermo isn’t just Nandor’s equal now. He’s his touchstone, his protector, and his deeply cherished lover. 

  “You don’t know that, Guillermo,” Nandor sniffles. “What if I brainscramble you like I did to Ba...Baba...Bambie?”

  “Babaius?” Guillermo prompts, pulling back from the embrace enough to lock eyes with the weepy vampire. Nandor has told him his whole sorry history of failures and abominations. It was Guillermo’s idea for Nandor to seek out Nadja’s guidance. And though he’s nervous and frightened about his transition...there is no one else in the world from whom Guillermo would accept this gift. “You won’t scramble my brains, Nandor. I trust you.”

  The soft cry that Nandor makes at those words cuts to Guillermo’s soul. 

  Nandor sniffs and attempts to pull himself back together. He speaks confidently, as if his words are an incantation that will somehow conjure success, “Well, of course you trust me, Guillermo. I’m a very strong, cool vampire. There’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to make another vampire when a freaky pervert like Nadja is doing it all over the place.”

  Guillermo snorts and pulls Nandor in for another quick squeeze before drawing away toward the bed, “Should we…?”

  “Yes...oh! Wait!” Nandor grabs the towels off the bureau, hissing when he accidentally grazes a crucifix with his hand. He hurries forward and starts laying them down on top of Guillermo’s thick comforter. “I don’t want your nice, new bed to get ruined.”

  Guillermo smiles warmly as he watches his ex-master’s efforts. 

  “Well...it’s not like I’ll be sleeping on it anymore after tonight…” he murmurs, causing Nandor to think about the shiny new coffin sitting next to his downstairs. 

  Nandor shrugs, “No...but we might--you know--do other things on the bed still…”

  He smooths his hands over the towels and retrieves the jaw of blood, placing it within easy reach on the nightstand before climbing onto the bed and stretching out in an unintentional come-hither pose. Nandor’s soft, long locks fall over his shoulders and his big, dark eyes look up at Guillermo with longing and terror. He pats the spot beside him on the bed.

  Guillermo clambors up after him, stretching out at his side and letting his head fall into the mountain of pillows that Nandor had insisted on purchasing for him after their...reconciliation. He smiles shyly and looks up at the vampire, his cheeks turning bright red.

  “Is it alright if we...do some of those ‘ other things ’ first?” he asks, dancing his fingers over Nandor’s tunic. “You know...my last time as a h-human?”

  The stutter in Guillermo’s voice interrupts Nandor’s contented perusal of his human’s delicious body and he meets the man’s eyes. Guillermo’s cheeks are irresistibly red and his lips are parted slightly with lust. But his eyebrows are all crinkled and there are still some tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. Nandor can’t really relate to Guillermo’s fear. When he was turned he was in the middle of dying on the field of battle. He didn’t have a clue what was happening when the strange vampire descended upon him. What would it feel like to go into it knowingly? To place his life in the hands of the one that he loved knowing there was a chance that things might go terribly wrong?

  Guillermo is incredibly brave.

  “Yes, my Guillermo,” Nandor cries, leaning in and pressing their mouths together in a desperate kiss. “Anything you want.”

  They take their time with the kiss, lips and tongues sliding and probing as they clumsily undress each other. By the time they’re both naked the floor of Guillermo’s bedroom is littered with discarded items of clothing and the towels on the bed are askew. Guillermo throws his leg over Nandor’s thick waist and straddles the man, their aching erections rubbing together as he leans down to trail kisses across Nandor’s hairy chest. 

  Nandor throws his head back in the pillows, his hair tangling as he writhes underneath Guillermo. He will miss the feeling of his human’s impossible warmth. The way his kisses seem to sear a blazing path over Nandor’s cold skin. The way his silky smooth rod pulses with molten heat. The feeling of plunging inside Guillermo’s fiery, grasping tightness. Nandor curses himself, yet again, for not allowing them both to have this sooner. 

  Guillermo’s hips rise and fall as he strokes himself against Nandor. The air between them grows humid with their breath and the room fills with the sounds of whimpers and moans. Guillermo places a hand on Nandor’s chest for balance and he leans over to his nightstand to grab the small bottle of lube sitting there. 

  He holds it aloft and says, as if reading Nandor’s mind, “Do you want to feel me one last time before…?”

  Nandor’s lips split into a grin and he grabs the tube from his human’s hand, nodding fervently as he drips the liquid onto his fingers. He’s careful and gentle with his Guillermo, mindful of how new this still is for him. He reaches between his delicious thighs and slides his wet fingers around until he finds what he’s looking for, pressing gently and then more firmly as Guillermo opens up for him. 

  Guillermo’s breath escapes him and he presses down on Nandor’s fingers with a wanton cry, riding him needily. Once he’s ready, Nandor pours out more liquid, slicking his cock and grasping Guillermo’s hips to move him into position. 

  “Are you ready, Guillermo?” he asks and the words take on an added meaning with the knowledge of what’s to come hovering in the air between them. 

  Guillermo senses Nandor’s seriousness in the moment and he meets his eyes, smiling softly before replying, “Yes, Nandor. I’m ready. Really .”

  The sex is a revelation and a comfort. Falling into Guillermo is like coming home. It’s like finally finding the place he was always meant to be. Even 700 years ago when Nandor was a ruler in his prime, he never felt this level of peace and belonging. He watches his beautiful, strong, brave human fall apart on top of him. They take turns setting the pace. Guillermo bounces frantically in Nandor’s lap until the vampire grabs his hips and holds him still so he can thrust upward, slowly and tenderly. He penetrates deep until Guillermo is near tears and the human’s poor erection is leaking copiously onto Nandor’s soft belly.

  Nandor finally releases his hold on Guillermo’s hips and wraps his hand around his erection, pumping up and down quickly as he bounces the man on his own cock. 

  “I’m close, Guillermo,” he whispers, stroking the human rapidly to edge him along. “Come with me. Please!”

  They fall over the precipice together, panting and clinging as their bodies quake with the intensity of their love making. Guillermo collapses on Nandor’s chest and the vampire wraps his arms around him automatically, soothingly running his palms down his lover’s sweaty back as he twitches and catches his breath. 

  “You’re getting very good at that, Guillermo,” Nandor murmurs with a hint of teasing in his voice.

  Guillermo snorts, “Yeah, I think you’ve almost got the hang of it, too, Nandor.”

  Nandor laughs and smacks his behind playfully, “Do not be thinking that just because you’re going to be a vampire you can start being so cheeky with me! I’m still seven hundred and twenty-eight years older than you, mortal.”

  Guillermo grins and hums in response, pillowing his head into Nandor’s broad chest with a contented sigh. 

  After a little while, Nandor shifts Guillermo off of him and lays him down on the bed with a gentle reverence. He picks up one of the towels and uses it to carefully clean him, dabbing between his legs and swiping over his soft stomach. Nandor takes his time, his face turning dark and serious as he contemplates what comes next. 

  When he’s finally finished he says, almost shyly, “There’s just one more thing I want to do first…”

  Nandor stretches out at Guillermo’s side and rests his head over the human’s chest, directly over his beating heart. His hair fans out over Guillermo’s flushed skin and the human brings his fingers up to toy with it as Nandor listens. 

  Thump...thump...thump…

  How many nights has Nandor awoken in his coffin, still gripped by the horror of a half-remembered nightmare and listened for that comforting sound to lull him back to sleep? How often has he heard that steady rhythm interrupted when Nandor did something that particularly stirred his familiar’s illicit attraction? How many thousands of beats has he taken for granted over the years? Soon that steady tattoo will cease forever. Nandor feels panic grip him but he reminds himself that things will be different this time. Guillermo will come back to him as he always does. 

  He does not feel ready but the hours are ticking away and he’d like to finish this well before dawn. Nandor shuffles up the bed, leaning on an elbow and letting his hair cascade down around Guillermo’s face. He brushes his thumb over his lips, caresses his jaw line and the ridge of his brow. He’s memorizing the way his beloved looks right now, flushed with life. 

  “Guillermo, I want you to know that even if I do scramble your brains--which I won’t!--but even if I do, I will take care of you forever,” Nandor says, his eyes wide and earnest. “I’ll never abandon you or rip off your head. That’s a promise.”

  Guillermo should scoff or snort or roll his eyes but instead he sobs and beams up at Nandor as he answers, “I know, baby. I’ll never leave you or rip off your head either. I promise.”

  Nandor nods and his dark eyes shift to focus on the crook of Guillermo’s neck. His skin is still slicked with the cooling sweat of their coupling and Nandor can see his pulse jumping in his throat. He opens his mouth in a hungry leer and his fangs elongate slightly.

  “This will hurt, Guillermo,” his voice is dark and menacing, but also mournful. “I am sorry.”

  He snakes a hand behind Guillermo’s neck and cradles his head to the side as he lowers his mouth to his vulnerable throat. He hovers there for a moment and marvels at the way his lover’s body surrenders so sweetly to him. Guillermo is soft and loose in his arms, the perfect victim. Nandor banishes that word from his mind. Guillermo, sweet, sensitive, competent, strong, scary, loving, powerful Guillermo. He is not a victim. He plunges his fangs into his human’s soft neck and takes from him the sweetest gift Guillermo has ever given. 

  Nandor’s terror and anxiety melt away as the blood pours over his tongue and down his throat. He has always known that Guillermo would taste delicious but this is ridiculous. He tastes like the joy of riding John over an open plain, he tastes like the excitement of watching the Dream Team do battle on the basketball court, and, most of all, he tastes like Guillermo. Like fuzzy knit hats and secret smiles and quiet evenings playing chess. Like longing and hunger and wistful pain. Like strength and desire and the thrill of conquest. Nandor drinks deeply, memorizing the flavor as his lover goes more and more limp in his arms. 

  He listens, once more, to the beating of that heart, just as Nadja said to do. He waits like Guillermo used to do, listening to the pops while he was making his corn kernel snack in the multiwave machine. Once the rhythm begins to slow Nandor pulls back, licking his lips and scrambling for the jar of blood on the nightstand. 

  He gathers Guillermo into his arms and the human moans low in his throat. Nandor feels unadulterated joy at the sound. He is still here . But when he looks down at his human’s pale, ashen face, a sob tears free from his throat. His lustrous, brilliant Guillermo diminished to such a drab reflection… Nandor mentally slaps himself and unscrews the jar, bringing it to Guillermo’s pale lips. 

  “Time for your snack now, Guillermo,” Nandor’s voice shakes. He strokes his fingers through the human’s curly hair as he lifts his head and begins to tip the contents of the jar into his open mouth. 

  Nothing happens for a small eternity. Nandor watches the blood pool in his lover’s mouth and spill out the sides of his lips with a feeling of increasing helplessness. 

  “Guillermo? Can you still hear me? It’s time to start drinking so you can become a cool vampire just like me and your friend, Armand…”

  Guillermo’s eyes are closed and his body is unnaturally still.

  “Please drink, Guillermo! I’m going to be very cross with you if you do not!”

  His skin looks waxy and he feels heavier in Nandor’s arms. The vampire tugs him further into his lap and clutches him to his chest, tears falling onto the eerily calm face.

  “Guillermo, you said you wouldn’t leave me again, please! ”

  Guillermo swallows. Nandor watches with a giant, goofy grin on his face as the man’s throat bobs and the blood disappears from his mouth. He brings the jar back up to his lips and continues to hand feed him, taking comfort in the way Guillermo’s lips purse as he drinks down the vampire’s life-giving blood. 

  “That’s it, my cherished one,” Nandor says, slipping into endearments he used several lifetimes ago. “Drink, sweet honey. And don’t ever fucking scare me like that again !”

  Guillermo snorts as he drains the dredges from the jar, blood bubbles forming on his lips as they curve into a smile. Nandor watches, his eyes wide and wondering, as Guillermo’s eyes flutter open and he feels a sense of intense relief when he recognizes that smile as the same one he fell in love with eleven years ago. Only...you know...with the fangs and the blood stains…

---

  “So, I’d say it was a marked success!” Nandor shouts into the camera a few nights later. “Of course, there was a lot of vomiting and achy-pains in the beginning...but once that passed and he drank some human blood everything was OK-A! Isn’t that right, Guillermo?”

  The camera zooms out to include Guillermo in the shot. He’s sitting next to Nandor on the chaise, their hands clasped together between them. His skin tone is very much the same although without the lively blush that used to grace his cheeks. He’s noticeably in tact, no pointed ears or deformities and seemingly in full possession of his brains. 

  He smiles and the camera zooms in on his newly minted fangs.

  “ A-OK , Nandor,” he corrects in an affectionate tone. He leans over and kisses the immortal warrior on the cheek.

  Nandor, still unused to public displays of affection, smiles nervously and answers with a roll of his eyes, “As I said, Guillermo!”

[eds-art-factory]

Have you considered making a video about the Nadja anime? If not, do you mind telling what are your thoughts about it?

I…… will not be doing that. I did not care for Nadia and the Secret of Blue Water….really at all.

The best thing about it was the Grandis Gang which were like a proto team rocket, and Ms. Granva is like a 10/10 and deserves to be in a better anime but.

I ended up giving it a chance because…… well, because Mothers Basement recommended it, but also because of the Laputa connection and since it was like, a concept by Miyazaki that got picked up by Hideki Anno but…. it just wasn’t for me. I think Hideki Annos flavor is not my favorite.

I was really excited for Nadia when I saw her in the first episode but then…her character is weirdly sexualized, I don’t think it’s aged very well. I felt a whole lot of nothing, except affection for the Grandis gang.

And then it just…………The ending really pissed me off.

SPOILERS I GUESS UNDER CUT

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There’s a time skip and….Sanson and Marie get married.

….Pre time skip she’s 5 and he’s like 28….. and they had a great fun episode together that was retroactively ruined for me by this. She’s 17 and he’s 40 when they’re married and she’s pregnant with his child and…..it’s weird. I know it’s like 1890 or whatever and that is what people did…………BUT IT’S YUCKY.

At least Electra is 26 and Captain Nemo is still 46, BUT IT’S NOT AS BAD. She also was a child when Nemo took her in and that’s still kind of weird It may seem like such a minor thing, but the Grandis Gang was one of the only reasons I kept watching, I felt so gutted by the epilogue. 

[flightfoot]

In defense of Alya and Nino asking Marinette to babysit

I see them salted on this occasionally, and I don’t think it’s warranted.

For context, this has happened on two occasions, both times so that Alya and Nino can go on a movie date, in Timetagger and Chris Master.

In Timetagger Alya asked Marinette to babysit, but she declined so Alya made other arrangements.

Alya: (begin phonecall) Hey there! Ladybug: Alya, it's Marinette! I'm sorry I won't be able to look after Chris and your sisters this afternoon. I— I hadn't finished my presentation for Monday, I hope you're not mad at me. Alya: No, of course not, no biggy. A friend of mine said she'd take care of them, so Nino and I are going to see a movie. Ladybug: A friend? Alya: Yeah, don't worry, she'll take care of everything. Ladybug: Perfect, enjoy your movie then. See you later! (end phonecall) (Scene transition: Césaire apartment.) Alya: Okay, we're going. Nino: Thanks again, Lila. (they leave)

In Christmaster we see the tail end of Marinette’s babysitting, with Alya and Nino picking Chris up a couple minutes in.

Alya: Marinette, we're back. Nino: Did you guys have fun? Marinette: Sure we did. How was the movie? Nino: Awesome. Thanks for watching my bro, Marinette. What's wrong, little dude? Chris: (Chris starts crying) AH! I want it to be Christmas right now! Marinette: I have absolutely no idea where that came from. Alya: Okay, I guess we'd better get going. Bye, girl. (Marinette looks at the snow globe) Nino: See you at school tomorrow. Marinette: Yeah, bye Nino, see you soon Chris. (She closes her door)

Usually I see Nino and Alya salted on a few points regarding this:

They don’t tell their parents that they’re having Marinette babysit and are basically sneaking around behind their parents’ backs in order to go on dates. This one I really don’t get. It’s POSSIBLE, of course, but it’s not confirmed or even really implied. Alya and Nino DO appear to be the ones making arrangements here, but it’s not clear whether they ran those arrangements by their parents or not. It’s not even clear that they need to; the kids in ML seem to be fairly free-range, it’s reasonable that their parents may just trust Alya and Nino to make appropriate arrangements regarding babysitting for their younger siblings. I especially don’t see any element in these two exchanges to suggest that Marinette or Lila babysitting was in any way something they had to keep quiet about or weren’t allowed to do.

Marinette is too swamped to babysit so they shouldn’t have asked her. This one I can sort of see, but consider; they don’t know HOW swamped she is. They don’t know she’s Ladybug. They don’t know that she might have to leave at any moment to go fight akumas or sentimonsters, or that she needs to patrol or ANY of that. Alya might know about how busy she is with schoolwork and any commissions and extra stuff she decides to take on for one reason or another, but it’s not like these two times that she was asked to babysit happened during Gamer 2.0. She may not have been as busy during these two times. In fact, there’s good evidence that she WASN’T all that busy during Christmaster, which was the only time she actually ended up babysitting, since she had time to spend the rest of the day making Adrien’s 50th birthday gift, which isn’t exactly time-sensitive. Also in Timetagger when Marinette DID end up canceling babysitting on short notice because she was too swamped, Alya was completely cool with it.

They don’t pay Marinette for babysitting. Now for this one I’m going to need to bring up some other incidents. Because yes, there is no sign that money exchanged hands. But that’s because that’s not the currency here. I’m pretty sure Marinette did this as a favor - and not a one-sided favor. See, Marinette has her own little hellion that she’s regularly asked to babysit - Manon, Nadja’s daughter. But several times Alya has ended up either helping Marinette babysit her or taking over the babysitting entirely. Stormy Weather, for instance. 

Alya drops by Marinette’s house to tell her that Adrien’s having a photoshoot in the park, but discovers that Marinette is currently stuck babysitting as a favor to Nadja.

Manon: Uh, who's she? Marinette: Whoops! I forgot about this little detail. Alya: And who's she? Marinette: This is Manon, one of my mom's friends' daughters. I'm watching her all afternoon. (Gasps) Oh no! I can't go out! Alya: Let me guess. Another "you couldn't say no" favor? Marinette: No, I just couldn't... say... no... Alya: Look, no problem! I'll look after your little detail for you. (Manon runs off) Marinette: Thanks, but I'm responsible for her... Besides, I couldn't do that to you. She's... an absolute angel! (A crash is heard. Marinette screams and runs after Manon, who is carrying a pot and a spatula.) Manon! Put that down! Ugh! Come back! Alya: (Marinette continues to chase after Manon until Marinette and walks back to Alya and Manon continues to pull on her arm) You're just a pushover, Marinette. I have to babysit my sisters all the time, which makes me an expert in dealing with angels. Manon: Who are you, anyway? Alya: I'm a mythical unicorn from the world of Reespa, disguised as a totally fabulous human girl! I grant magical wishes, but only to little monkeys who behave! Manon: (laughs) No, you're not! ...Are you? (Alya grabs Manon in the air, and puts her on Marinette's shoulders.) Alya: Okay, let's all go to the park! Manon: Yay! Marinette: Okay!

When they go to the park and Marinette’s conflicted, wanting to try to get closer to Adrien but not wanting to abandon Manon when SHE was the one who was asked to babysit, Alya helps out.

Alya: They need an extra to pose with Adrien! Marinette: What? Seriously? Manon: Is that boy your boyfriend? Marinette: What? No, I mean, yes? No! Alya: Go on! What are you waiting for? Marinette: But, what about Manon? Alya: (Alya wagging finger towards Marinette and hand gesturing her move aside) You take care of Prince Charming, and I'll take care of Miss Unicorn here. You don't know how to control her anyway. Manon: No way, Marinette's my babysitter! Alya: Trust me. Unicorns unite! Let's go to Rispa and find us some sad little village kids and grant those wishes! Yee-haw! Manon: Yee-haw!

Alya volunteers to look after her so that Marinette can do what she REALLY wants to do. She even ends up looking after Manon for quite awhile since Ladybug had to go fight Stormy Weather and Alya and Manon were trapped. Honestly it’s a REALLY good thing Alya came and was so up for babysitting, or when Stormy Weather arrived Marinette would’ve been up a creek, since she would’ve still needed to leave to take care of the akuma but wouldn’t have had anyone to look after Manon.

Then in Prime Queen, Marinette ended up calling Alya over to babysit for her on false pretenses since she’d accidentally agreed to babysit during the same period of time that she was supposed to be interviewed, but she couldn’t exactly TELL anyone that.

Alya Césaire: Super Manon to the rescue, woohoo! Manon: To the Eiffel Tower and beyond! Marinette: Glad you could make it last minute, Alya. Alya: Of course, it's way more fun watching your favorite superhero on TV with my favorite girls. Commentator: (Marinette watches the live broadcast on air and gulps anxiously.) When we return from commercial, Nadja Chamack will be joined by Ladybug and Cat Noir for an incredible, exclusive interview. Manon: (Points at Nadja on the monitor.) Mommy, there's mommy! Alya: Why can't I get an exclusive interview like that for my Ladyblog? (Sighs.) Marinette: (Stutters) Oh, I forgot to err, tell my bakery something. They're in the parents downstairs. Do you mind keeping an eye on Manon while I'm not here? Alya: Don't you mean tell your parents something in the bakery? Marinette: (Continues stuttering.) Err, right. Well, err, sometimes, it can take a while - they don't always understand even when I explain. Err, actually, it's not their fault, they... Alya: Marinette? Marinette: Yes? Alya: Go! Marinette: Right! (Marinette then leaves with running down the stairs and starts talking to Tikki.) Alya's such a good friend, I feel so guilty for inviting her over just so I can leave her with Manon - then again, Alya is Ladybug's biggest fan - she'd be crushed if her favorite superhero didn't turn up for her favorite TV show.

Alya was completely cool with coming over last-minute to watch the interview with Marinette, and even totally fine with Marinette ditching her, leaving her to watch over Manon. She was even pretty cool afterwards, even though Marinette was missing for a LONG time.

Marinette: (coming up the stairs) I'm so sorry Alya! I had no idea it would take so long to talk to my parents! Alya: (walks over to her) You won't believe it, I was taken hostage by a supervillain! Marinette: (faking surprise) What? You're kidding! Alya: No joke! You missed everything! Luckily, Ladybug saved me! Marinette: (smiles then hugs Alya) I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you. Alya: (pats Marinette's head) No biggie, girl. But the next time we decide to spend an evening together, you're not allowed to go anywhere near your parents. Marinette: (laughs) Deal.

Alya’s fine with being called over last minute, even though she basically just got babysitting dumped on her. But she’s fine with it. She’s not upset or even annoyed about it.

In Puppeteer 2 Alya AGAIN volunteers to look after Manon, though that one’s not as prominent since she basically sets the whole thing up in the first place, knowing that this would probably be needed. She and Nino look after Manon (though not all that well) while Marinette tries to work up the nerve to talk to Adrien.

Marinette occasionally babysitting for Alya and Nino so they can go on dates just seems like an exchange of favors, since Alya has covered for her babysitting several times, and often are very short notice too. And when Marinette DOES need to say no, Alya’s cool with that too.

I understand why people might write fics where Marinette IS babysitting for Alya and Nino a lot even when sees struggling to keep up, where their parents DON’T know about the arrangement and are upset about it, where Alya guilts Marinette if she says no or implies that she can’t. It’s not totally out of the realm of what might be possible with their characterizations.

But don’t confuse Fanon for Canon and salt Alya and Nino for Fanon actions.