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ohheyitsokay · 3 years

Text

trials

this takes place in my ‘poly frontier’ universe

pairing: Will “Ironhead” Miller, Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Francisco “Catfish Morales, Ben “Benny” Miller and a female reader

wordcount: 2.1k

warnings: all fics in this series are 18+, poly relationship, domestic, romantic, and sexual intimacy. strong language, angst with a happy ending

summary: this one is a Santi story - he tries to bring another girl into the relationship, and learns instead how much he loves you

it wont be everyone's cup of tea but I felt like it was an important part of the story

note: don’t hate Santi! I think this is a pretty normal, and the best sunsets come after rain

Santi was the first to branch out. He didn’t mean to – hated himself for it a little, but he did.

This – whatever this is, it’s a ticking time bomb, he told Will. One of has to do something before it breaks all of our hearts.

It was a lie.

They both knew it. But he had the money and the looks and the confidence and he was just hurt enough by the sight of you asleep in Ben’s lap one afternoon that he just… let it get to him.

Brooded and boiled until he was overcome with false righteousness and pure selfishness.

He didn’t look you in the eyes when he told you he was going to try to get another girl. It wasn’t that he was leaving what you all had, just that he deserved a chance at whatever he called balance. His gaze in the other men’s eyes was too bold – the look of a desperate man, terrified of being hurt so causing it on his own terms.

You nodded numbly, shocked in spite of yourself, scolding and scathing voices in your mind telling you not to be selfish. Not to be greedy.

He deserves more than sharing.

Tucking yourself into Frankie’s arms, you tried not to glare or cry and only failed at the latter. Because it’s not the dating another girl that hurt, really it’s not. Polyamory is hard, and it was always an open option. What hurts is his blatant choice to ignore the relationship his has with you, specifically, that he’s ignoring everything you and him have worked for, built with love and time and care.

Rubbing gentle hands over your skin, Will and Frankie and Ben shared looks as Santi stalks away.

Frankie corners him in the garage the next morning. You had slept between him and Will the night before, but they had all felt you toss and turn, all spent a fair amount of time staring at the ceiling themselves. His dark eyes are an insecure that shoots into Frankie’s core – it’s a look he knows, has spent months overcoming. He swallows hard, his words dying in his throat, and he simply shakes his head.

It almost breaks Santi in two, the first moment one of his loves betrays the damage he’s done, but he tells himself there’s no going back.

“Better now than later, when our parents hate her or –”

Frankie’s look stops him and he flinches away.

Will is at the bar he chooses without an invite, knowing where he’d be without having to even ask and they both try not to think of you at home with Ben, probably dripping flames. Santi wonders if it hurts more to watch him flirt, or to do it, but neither of them say a word to each other. In spite of it all, the respect his judgement, respect his choice, and that hurts too.

It feels strange to have others looking him up and down and to look back, smile with lust void of love and soak in the attention.

Before he succumbs to it, Santi wishes Will would come over, slide his hand around his neck and… stop respecting him so much. It would pull him back, but since he doesn’t, the thought dies under the burn of cheap alcohol.

She’s lovely, really, graceful like a cat.

Santi has kept her from you all for a few weeks now, keeping his dignity with distance. But now she’s here, in your home, and you should be jealous but instead you just smile sadly at her, and slip off to the kitchen.

He likes… coffee, dark roast, with just a clump of raw sugar. You’re stirring it when you realize they followed you, hovering at the door. The ache of it is less than it was before and they’re happy together, so for his sake, you sit down across from her.

She’s kind, friendly. Knows the gist of the situation, tells you she’ll go at your pace.

And it crashes into you, how he’s pinned you at a time when know one else is home, offering her up to you like a plea, a child who used the superglue to make a gift, never mind the fact that his hands are both stuck to it and burning.

It feels reasonable to have another woman around, to make the numbers less absurd, to – to help you. Her smile is a little shy and she takes you hand and she looks at Santi with such adoration that a knot loosens in your chest involuntarily.

She doesn’t joke about it, any of it, and you almost wish she would. It would be so much easier to hate her if she was shallow, or stupid, or something but she’s not, and when she smiles you almost think you could be friends. You wonder if you could make it work, like they do for you.

Ben and Will come home early, stepping in like the angels they are, planting themselves solid at your side like trees with roots deeper than they are tall. When Frankie comes home, he takes the spot of the two of them as their eyes draw Santi into another room.

“What the fuck, Garcia,” Benny is as hurt as you are by it all, maybe more.

“Shut up Miller.” He’s glaring, filled with venomous satisfaction at how well the two of you have been talking.

“Cant you see it’s for the better?”

There’s silence – neither of them agree, too confused by him to respond.

“Don’t you ever wonder,” Santi tries again, knowing they’re listening because they love him too.

“No.” They spoke in unison, which makes Will roll his eyes. Neither of them hesitate, and something in Santi cracks.

You poke holes in the bottom of a styrofoam container with a plastic fork. She’s long gone now, but the date still lingers as you poke at your leftovers and try to unwind each moment of the date like strings of spaghetti.

On the surface it had gone well, you had thought you had fun until you felt a burn of tears under your eyelids.

Closing them you sigh, breathing like you practiced, gentle tides of love and logic washing over a feelings you tell yourself are selfish.

When you open your eyes, your Santi is standing behind her chair, and you almost cant breathe.

He went away for two weeks to help with a mission, and he’s here, one side of his mouth higher than the other. You want to kiss it, but you smile instead, and say, “You missed her by a couple minutes, sorry,” and actually mean it.

“I caught her in the parking lot,” he sits slowly, carefully, and when he reaches for your hands it’s almost tentative. It makes you blink again, how his eyebrows are bending. For the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t understand what it means, cant predict at all what he says next.

“I broke it off,” his eyes are in yours.

“I don’t understand,” you hear yourself say.

Santi searches for the words, like he had them but cant make them come out of his mouth.

“She’s not you,” he says. “I want you.”

You realize with a start that his hand is trembling, and he says your name in a way you’ve never heard before – like he’s terrified. That’s how badly he wants this, wants.. you. There’s no question in your mind, your eyes answer him.

It’s messy, not like a movie, the way he tugs you up and up and into his arms, the shudder of his broad shoulders and he buries himself into you as much as he can.

Like a hazy, blurry dream, your arms find their way around him, holding him like he’s fragile, another first.

He doesn’t say You’re enough for me, or You deserve the world, or anything dramatic.

Instead he says, “Can I buy you dinner?” And, “I’m sorry,” and “It’s been too long.”

And he says “I love you.”

He already asked the others, calling them each on his drive to you. Asked like he was young, if it was okay. Santi knew none of them had fallen in love with her, because even he hadn’t. But he had to ask for their permission as much as yours, to try to win you back.

They were more guarded than you, wary of his passion.

It takes time, and work.

He stays up later than he should talking with Benny about everything and nothing, hands nervously putting together snacks. When the younger man holds you, Santi teaches himself to join, to be held and hold you both. It feels good, which feels like guilt.

He works on that, too.

Frankie and him never talk about it. For weeks he thought his oldest friend had understood, more of less forgiven him without a word. One day they’re out for lunch, and his eyes flicker at the waitress, tucking her hair behind her ear. When he returns his gaze to the man across him, his blood runs cold. It’s been years since he’s seen furious determination brewing in Frankie’s dark, caring eyes, but it’s there now and he hates it. It takes discipline, to watch how he’s perceived as closely as he watched his intentions, but he does it.

It was easier than winning Will back.

“How long has your logic been shit?” Has your heart been in the wrong place this whole damn time?

“I just got on the wrong path, Ironhead.”

“Like hell you did,” his eyes were ice. “You let that happen.”

It would’ve been easier if he punched him. This wasn’t a kiss and make up moment either. The work ended up being long talks while you forced them to drive to pick you up when your car broke down the town over. Forcing words out being so honest it hurt, until has heart and throat felt raw. Making Will understand it was out of his own fears. Showing him how he was fixing it.

And weeks of letting with watch him again, eyes not missing a single touch or flinch or moment between you all. Actions to reinforce his words.

It hurt, but infinitely less than feeling distant from you all to begin with.

Will and your Catfish bring it up with you, one sunday afternoon as you tuck yourself between them and let their hands trace your skin.

“How are you doing?”

“I don’t know, Will. Better, I think. I missed him.”

Frankie places a row of warm kisses down the side of your neck.

“He missed you too. It’s Pope, he’s... he’s scared, love.”

“I don’t know if I believe that, yet.”

Ironhead grumbles at your confession, his big fingers squeezing the meat of your thigh.

“You gave him another chance, but you’re holding back. What does your gut say?”

“Unreliable - I’m in love with him.”

His head pops up and he kisses you before half-smiling. Frankie’s hand finds one of his, and they share a look.

“Can we tell you, querida? What we’ve seen.”

“Some objective evidence,” Will kisses you again.

“He loves us.” Another kiss.

“You.”

It’s quiet as Santi flips through his latest files. The evening air is cool, and he should be getting ready for bed but you’re not home yet, and they’re all milling about waiting. You texted them how tired you were, what an awful evening you had.

“It should just be another couple of minutes,” Will says, and Frankie checks his watch. Ben wanders to the kitchen and they can hear him mixing hot chocolate.

When you walk through the front door, they fold you in their arms. Santi holds back, doubt still nagging at his mind. You let him back in, let him take you don't dates, but you didn’t fit together any more. He was running out of ways to communicate with you.

But you slump over, gently pushing aside his files and placing his laptop away before replacing it with yourself. Molding into him you sigh, and almost instantly fall asleep.

You’re small and vulnerable in his arms and the weight on his legs feels like trust.

The air in the room shifts, lighter, more breathable than it’s been in months. Adoring, proud eyes watch, and he wants to cry.

For the first time maybe ever, he’s sure that everything is going to be okay.

The bar was mercifully quite that evening, and if made it easy for you to find your love. A small, familiar feeling tugged in your gut as you made your way over to him, eyes on the waitress who was leaning over him with unwholesome intentions.

Then the feeling settled, and was replace with a warmer feeling. She was putting down a tray that had your order on it, and Santi was thanking her, distracted checking your message on his phone.

“Hey, handsome,” you said, the warm feeling spreading throughout your chest. “Can we actually get out of here?”

His brown eyes were big, dark lashes catching the low lights as he stared at you. Somewhere in his mind, he thought too protest because your drink just got there, but the words stuck on his tongue.

“Yeah... yeah of course, baby,” He signaled for the check before standing to draw you in his arms. Saying no to you had never really been an option.

The two of you barely made it to his truck before your hands were all over each other. You liked the feel of him, pinning you against the metal frame, the desperate way he kissed you.

Pope was saying something about how you looked so fucking sexy, needing him so badly you couldn’t wait. You couldn’t concentrate on them.

“Pope,” you said against his skin, sliding your hands under his shirt. In response, he only made a soft groaning noise and increases his urgency.

"Santi," you tried again, before your own gasp cut you off.

"Santi - fuck - Santiago!"

The look he gave you was that of a dog, when you held the treat just out of reach.

"I'm yours," you said, pulling his head in to press against your forehead. "And you," you kissed him, hard, fingers gripping his beautiful curls. "Are mine."

"Fuck," you could feel his heartbeat, his pulse, he was pressing into you so hard, like he wanted to blur where he ended and you began. You knew he understood.

"I am," he said into your skin again and again that evening. Not selfish position, a promise and a proclamation: "I'm yours."

"I'm yours."

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @pbeatriz

poly frontier taglist:

@grogusmum

#triple frontier #poly frontier #triple frontier poly fic #triple frontier x reader #will miller x reader #santiago garcia x reader #francisco morales x reader #benny miller x reader

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stillness-in-green · 2 years

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I wish we saw more of spinner and toga’s relationship. He actively cares about her and I’m bummed he didn’t try to talk to her about twice or whatever misgivings they could share about afo’s treatment of shiggy and the rest of the league. Maybe talk about what they felt when they were on top on machia and he was destroying many lives. I remember the expressions on their faces. To be honest I wanted more nuance besides doubling down. Show some cracks in their resolve so that it’s more believable when their heroes save them.

I don’t know that I agree with every one of these specific sentiments, anon, but I do agree with the broad gist of wanting more on the League’s current circumstances. It’s just…strange to go so long without any of them really getting to talk to each other about what’s going on.

I think some of it—in my very-predictable-for-a-Spinner-fan opinion—is the winding course Spinner has taken through the past few arcs. Like, he goes from skeptical Stain fanboy to devotee of Shigaraki, and that’s great and I love it. Through the war, we have Compress telling us that Spinner is Shigaraki’s most devoted follower(/adores him the most), as well as that great moment with Toga going to bail and Spinner being the one willing and able to get through to her. It sets Spinner up in this kind of right-hand-man position, the go-between on Shigaraki’s will and the League…

…But when Shigaraki’s will gets subverted, it leaves Spinner adrift. His understanding of Shigaraki is very tied up in the kind of person AFO raised Shigaraki to be, which presents a fine challenge for Spinner to navigate, but then he just—doesn’t do that? He gets sidelined over into the heteromorph discrimination plot with the ex-MLA types instead?

And some of that certainly seems likely to be intentional on AFO’s part—someone who keeps trying to shove a severed hand on Tomura’s face is an asset to AFO; someone who reminds Tomura of fun times talking about video games and keeps the League together under Tomura’s auspices is not. It being intentional doesn’t make it any less of a drag to read about, though.

(Find the rest below the jump.)

In fairness, we did get a scene with Toga reflecting on things, it was just a scene with Dabi instead of Spinner. Dabi asking her if she was having second thoughts; Dabi telling her that if the world’s going to burn down anyway, you might as well smile. It can’t help but hit a few of the beats of League members reaffirming what they’re doing by virtue of being between the modern League’s first two recruits, but it does feel a bit less genuine, coming as it does from Mr. “I Have My Own Goals” himself, who has never had a dedicated conversation with Toga, only stray exchanges in group scenes.(1)

Toga’s one of those who has shown cracks, though—multiple times! She explicitly frames going and talking to Ochaco as something she’s doing to clear up her muddled feelings—when Ochaco rejects her (from her own perspective, at least), she even says, “My confusion’s all cleared away.” Later, she goes back to her childhood home, looking over all the graffiti, all the vitriol, in a scene that feels very much like an intentional parallel to Ochaco going out to look at the damaged city—both of them are reminding themselves of what came before at a time when they’re faltering. And then Toga even goes and asks Deku a bunch of the same questions she asked Ochaco!

Toga’s faltered a bunch of times; it’s hardly her fault heroes keep missing the window.

As to a scene with Spinner specifically, it would be nice to get a Rule of 3 capstone on their scenes thus far, and talking about AFO and Shigaraki’s current state could fit the bill. Their first scene was about why they came to the League (past), their second was about what the League is to them now (present), and a third could naturally hit on what the League should be, what it will become under AFO as opposed to what Shigaraki had wanted it to be (future). As long as Kurogiri remains an unanswered question, I suppose the possibility is still on the table, though I have significant concerns about Spinner and company actually pulling out a victory right now.

Finally, as to the idea of showing cracks so it’s believable when heroes save them, my feeling there is that it’s kind of on heroes to make the first move there. It's much like Nedzu says in 323: people in this society are trapped in a self-defeating pattern, a cycle of pain and revenge where slights pile up and pile up, and no one is willing to be the first to hold out a hand, for fear that it will be met with a fist.

Indeed, we’ve watched Toga hold out a hand twice, and be rejected twice. She was very clear with Ochaco that her way of living is painful and difficult, and all Ochaco had to tell her was, “If you’re going to live the way you want, you have to live with the consequences.” Deku manages to scrape up some empathy for Toga’s feeling of wanting to be like the people she likes, but immediately diverts into the same message of, “You will never be understood or accepted,” that Curious said Toga was doomed to when he follows up with, “I would never want to hurt someone I love!”

Toga doubles down because she doesn’t see what the heroes are offering as acceptable. In fact, I’d be hard-pressed to say the heroes are offering anything besides Torture Prison Forever.(2) “Suppress your true desires and live a lie for the rest of your life” wasn’t acceptable to Toga; why on earth would Tartarus be?

Likewise, Spinner has decided to dedicate his life to Shigaraki, and as far as we’ve seen, the only thing the heroes have to offer Shigaraki right now is premeditated extrajudicial murder. But even if we're meant to read Spinner's loyalty to Shigaraki as just following his new Stain, Spinner's original problem stands, too: there's been no implication whatsoever that heteromorphobia is even on the heroes' radar as a problem that needs to be addressed.

I’d love to see Spinner and Toga talk about how doing AFO’s work is not what they signed on for, but until they have a reason to suspect the heroes will offer them anything besides misery or death, I don’t expect them to do anything besides continue to double down. In that respect, they’re really just doing what Shigaraki’s been doing the whole time: coming back worse every time the heroes go for “winning” rather than “saving.”

...But seriously, would it have been so hard to sneak in a single scene of anyone in the League/PLF talking about Shigaraki's current predicament and what it meant going forward?

Thanks for the ask, anon! Sorry for the belated, and very half-and-half answer.

---

1: Dabi had much more going on with Twice, and one significant exchange with Shigaraki post-recruitment. A scene with Mr. Compress, check, a significant exchange with Spinner, check—actually, I think Toga’s the only one Dabi didn’t have a dedicated conversation with before 342.

2: And knowing what I know about the Japanese justice system, very likely execution.

#bnha #iguchi shuuichi #toga himiko #stillness answers

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dutchdread · 4 years

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What is Love? Baby don't hurt me.

This article sets out to define different types of love in a meaningful way, and argue why the specifics surrounding Aerith and Cloud makes it so that the commonly accepted romantic version of the emotion can't apply. __________________________________________________

Whenever you talk to anyone, it's important to be on the same page, and one of the most important parts about that is making sure that you're speaking the same language. I am sure we've all had moments where we were arguing with someone only to discover that you both believed the exact same thing, but that you simply used a different word to describe said thing.

"That's what I've been saying" "No, that's what I've been saying!" "Well what are we even arguing about then?!"

When that happens, you're not arguing about the topic itself, you're arguing about semantics, about language.

An argument about whether or not what Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith felt for each other would fall under "love" is a debate about language, not FFVII, and I am not here to have a conversation about language. Unfortunately, before I can actually have a conversation about FFVII, a conversation about language is apparently needed.

Love is an incredibly broad term, used to express what we feel about our family, our pets, our friends, our "lovers", and even our favorite songs, weather, and food. So why the hell do we ask "who did Cloud love" as if love is some singular binary system?

I can never prove that what a character feels isn't love, I can only assert that I personally wouldn't use the word "love" to describe said feeling, and explain why I wouldn't. When we ask "does Cloud love Tifa or Aerith", we are presupposing a concept of "love", and asking who it applies to.

"I pity you, you just don't get it at all, there is nothing I don't cherish"

But it applies to both, and it applies to Barret, and Marlene, and Denzel, and everyone. Because love is far too broad a term to start with, it's a catch-all. Instead of starting with a preconception of what love is, and seeing who has it, we should describe what people actually have, and see what their individuals shapes of love look like.

Even so, I will do my best to describe what I mean by romantic love, as opposed to a crush, or infatuation, or attraction, so that when I say "Cloud and Aerith don't (and can't) romantically love each other", that it's clear what that assertion means to me.

I'm going to tell you a story, a story that, admittedly, doesn't make me look good, but which will hopefully provide context for what I think love is and why.

When I was younger I wasn't the most popular kid, back then I assumed I was unattractive, as an adult I realize its because I was socially awkward as fuck (I was actually cute as heck if I do say so myself). However, by the time I got to highschool I had made a best friend and had managed to figure out and fake social conventions enough that I could at the very least solve my issues through humor instead of violence. The change from typical village kids to a wider pool of potential friends also enabled me to finally find people who were more like me. Even so, the whole social outcast part was still ingrained deeply enough in me that I was mostly putting on an act in front of people, saying whatever I needed to say in order to get a certain reaction, in order to be liked, rather than just being myself. I had had crushes before, when you're alone it's easy to really fall for someone, and hell, I was always a sucker when it came to love stories, but my childhood had basically left me too nervous that I'd say the wrong thing to ever actually say the right thing when I really liked a girl. However, generally being the life of the party left me with a string of girlfriends I didn't care too much about. Even so, I eventually met a girl that I was instantly smitten with, the most attractive girl I knew and somehow I managed to start dating her, and hell, I even thought I loved her. I dated said girl for several years, but without going into spoilers I'll just say that I left that relationship pretty jaded and and disillusioned with the concept of love. I felt like I had done everything I could and love in general was bullshit and was honestly pretty done with women in general. Ironically my new pessimistic attitude made me much more successful with women than I had ever been before, by that time I was known as someone who was fun to party with, and unlike the majority of people my age I was in incredible shape and still had all my hair. However, while I enjoyed my newfound popularity there was a part of me that really resented it because I realized that what women seemed to react positively to wasn't what I imagined love to be like and I hated that. I hated that when I used to be kind and filled with notions of "true love" no one was interested, but now that I was disinterested and clearly manipulative women seemed to throw themselves at me. During that time I basically stopped looking for a meaningful relationship and just decided to have fun until my life would, inevitably, fall apart.

Eventually though I got a girlfriend who I didn't deserve and was much too good for me. However, when I did I was no longer interested in building a relationship and I was pretty certain that it would eventually fall apart anyway like everything else. As a result I mainly cared about what I could get from her, I didn't act like a proper partner and I when I thought about "fixing the relationship" I was thinking mostly about what she could do to be a better girlfriend, honestly, part of me actually resented her for not being my ex. When talking about our issues the general terms were "I'll do this, but only if you fix that". Without going into details, the general gist is that we had a horrible start to our relationship and that affected everything that came after it.

Eventually though this girl who I once mainly saw as just another temporary part of my life became something more to me, she became a more complete person. I mellowed out, and started appreciating her more, I decided to get us to work on the relationship but the damage was basically already done. She'd given up on me ever wanting to settle down and had started distancing herself from me emotionally and eventually I became sick of fighting for the relationship by myself and we broke up. Afterwards, free of pressure, I sat back and l evaluated what I wanted in life, I thought about myself, and her, REALLY thought about her. The good parts, and the bad. And I realized that all the things I was annoyed about were honestly absurd. I decided I was going to fight for her, not just "try to fix the relationship" by figuring out what worked and what didn't, but I just decided I was going to properly appreciate her, be the best boyfriend I could be, and not ask for anything in return. And let me tell you, that change in mindset changed EVERYTHING for me. Within months I became absolutely smitten with her, when I first started the relationship I was honestly annoyed if we met up and didn't have sex, now just sitting on the couch under a blanket with her became the highlight of days, even the things I once saw as negatives became a precious part of the puzzle that made her her. My biggest regret in life is still that I couldn't be the person she made me back when I first met her. (and concerning looks, she is honestly so much more gorgeous than the ex it's not even funny, how did I not see that?). The point of all this is that love isn't automatic, it's not something that happens without your consent, it's the result of actions, of decisions. When you choose to take the time to look at your significant other, and soak up and appreciate who they are and what they do, when you put in the effort, that's when love grows. I've gone from being sick and tired of someone I had been with for years, to being absolutely infatuated with them, simply by making a decision. I could not have made that decision had I not been myself, that decision would have been false. Looking back, all those earlier girls I've been infatuated with, that wasn't love, I didn't even know who they were, I barely knew who I was. No matter how much passion I felt in the moment, no matter how much fun I had in the times we spent together, now I don't even remember their names.

Love isn't your heart beating faster, it's not that instinctive nervousness that comes with talking to a cute girl you just met. It's a complete and deep appreciation of a person, un understanding of who you are, who they are, and what that means to you. Love is what I feel for my brother, who is as much a part of me as my own arm, without whom I would not be me. Someone who isn't just another person in your life, but is a part of what you consider to be your life, without them your life could not be the same, because they're an absolutely crucial part of it. That doesn't happen in a week, because you can't really learn who someone is in a week, even if you could see all of it, you couldn't internalize it. You can always imagine living without them, because you were, just last week. There are people who meet their soulmates sure, and say they knew within a week, but had they never seen that soulmate again, they would not still be pretending they were "the one" years later, and if they were, their friends wouldn't be saying "that's love", they'd be saying "that's an unhealthy obsession". Cloud and Aerith barely knew each other, both when it comes to time, as well as to how much they actually knew about each other. Cloud had no idea of who he was or what was important to him in life, he was unable to be honest with others or even himself, so how would he ever be able to meaningfully make an informed decision to make the kind of emotional commitment that's the cornerstone of love? He didn't know himself, nor did he know Aerith, to whose feelings he was canonically oblivious and whose entire life was a mystery to Cloud. How can we say that Soldier Cloud is capable of knowing who he loves when he's not even aware of the the gigantic Tifa shaped area of his identity. Can Soldier Cloud determine what he values and why without the knowledge of what he's gone through in his life? Sure, but can Soldier Cloud make that determination for the real one? No. Soldier Cloud, and his emotions, have no relation to that of the real Cloud. The real Cloud must determine what people mean to him all by himself. And when it comes to real Cloud, it is pretty obvious who is the biggest part of his life, the person who defined it from the time he fell for her as kid, right through when he became a soldier to impress her, and up to and past the moment he started raising children with her. For Cloud it's pretty obvious who he has the deep personal understanding with, the girl who filled his sub-conscious, and was literally in his head with him, the girl who is stated to understand him best, and who has a shared story with him, having experienced both the good, and the bad, alongside him. Who was there with him when he was a child, who was there with him in Nibleheim, who found him when he lost his identity and gave him a new one, who was with him when Aerith died, who was with him when he broke, who was with him when he was catatonic, who was with him and helped him find himself again, who was with him during the last night underneath the highwind, who was with him at the end in the north cave, who he started living with afterwards, who waited patiently while he went to find himself, and welcomed him back with a smile. I am sure Cloud liked Aerith....but he LOVES Tifa.

#Cloti #shipping #Love #Tifa #Cloud

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butchhamlet · 4 years

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i tried to read king lear twice and tried to watch it once and i didn't get very far in any of those cases but i really do wanna finish the play in some form. any advice?

here are some general Shakespeare Tips i crowdsourced from a discord server!!

if it’s a comprehension issue, i would suggest reading a summary (there are lots of free ones; sparknotes specifically has a broad summary & also scene-by-scene more specific summaries) before or while you read the actual play text! it’s much easier to take in the actual words / dialogue / plot beats when you’re not like “what the fuck is happening, what the fuck, what the fuck,”

make sure you have a good edition with textual footnotes! if you don’t want to buy a copy, no fear shakespeare isn’t perfect, but it gets the basic meanings across; sometimes i skim it before/after reading a scene just to make sure i’m getting the gist of it

if english isn’t your first language, it’ll definitely help to have a translation of the text into your first language on hand as well

reading the text out loud can REALLY help, like... when i was reading my first ever shakespeare play i read literally all of it out loud to myself in my bedroom DKHFKDBFDS. i don’t know WHY it helped so much but it made it much more engaging and fun (after all, plays are meant to be acted). if you have friends who also like shakespeare you could always do a group reading, too! which i know sounds. like. who has a group of friends that just reads shakespeare with them. but . well. if i was able to make eboy-makeup tiktok-dad lear real i believe in you as well

alternatively, if you can’t/don’t want to read it out loud, an audiobook might work!!

depending on what production you tried to watch, maybe try a different one because there are a lot of them out there

all of this being said - if the issue is less about comprehension/etc and more about it just. not being your thing. that’s also okay!! do i go absolutely batshit over king lear? yes. we all know that. but it’s not for everyone and it’s honestly okay if you just don’t like it very much!! it might just not be your thing + that’s perfectly fine + you shouldn’t feel bad about it! to each his own obscure hyperfixations.

#max.txt #asks #i hope this is a little helpful dhfkdshfbdsfsd??#im not a professional im just some weird bitch but this is what helps me #we-are-made-of-stardust

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madyxtothemax · 3 years

Text

The Pit Stop - Part Two with @MyArrowBends

Madyx:

<The minute he agreed, my grin stretched into a broad smile. I was sure it gave me away entirely, but that was alright considering he'd pretty much just called us both out. Atticus was making it really tricky to remain professional. My gut was telling me when I laid eyes on the goods I was going to be full on dickmatized. I already had his dick on my mind in a way I didn’t ever have it on my mind, mostly because anything beyond surface attraction was extinguished as soon as the wick got lit. I may have wanted it, but as soon as my temptation registered, my chemistry stripped me of it. It was fucked. Deeper interest meant distraction and therefore, thanks to the nature of my kind, there was something to keep it in check, kind of the equivalent of a hormonal response.

The reaction numbed my own receptors in favor of amplifying the one whose itch I was scratching. That was how it worked, their ultimate pleasure at the expense of mine. But, as was the way of nature, in order to thrive and evolve, there were loopholes, even for the fae. At the edges of my consciousness, something was hinting at the idea Atticus qualified.

Was I interested? Hell yeah, I was interested and nothing so far had dulled for me, my antenna was still receiving, confirmed by a jump of my dick against my zipper. The awakenings kept coming and I was going to stop asking why to avoid any jinxing. There was a tugging at the back of my mind; I knew there was something about Atticus that was allowing this exchange. He was unique. I was chasing an internal lead but I couldn’t quite catch what it was. Not yet.

When he pulled his sweatshirt up over head, I didn’t miss how some of his t-shirt dragged up his abs with it before falling back down due to gravity. Fuck if that little flash of skin didn’t leave me wanting to hit rewind and watch it all over again.

I had to get a grip. Seriously.

Right. Business. I stretched back from my spot to grab the consent forms that required his autograph, handing it over to him.>

Formalities. Let’s talk about some specifics. Pain? Are you good with it? There’s an option of using a numbing agent. Check box three if you’re declining.

Because of the nature of this piercing we’ll go with a larger gauge. I’m thinking either an eight or a ten. I brought out some twelve gauges but something tells me those will be too small. <Casual, real smooth, Madyx, why not just tell him you think he’s going to be impressive?> Too small with the gauge, the greater the risk of rejection.

I’ll drop the first piercing a certain distance below your head, it may be instinct to start higher on the shaft but if you want a Prince Albert down the line, you’ll want to leave some space.

Are you with me so far? Any questions? <clearing my throat because suddenly I was really thirsty> And when you’re ready, go ahead and whip it out for me. <There it was, heat in my cheeks and a smirk on my lips because I was giddy about seeing his cock, and hadn’t been shy about expressing it. I was ready to go for broke and blur every last line.>

Atticus:

-It felt like so much was suddenly happening all at once, which hadn’t that been what I was asking for when I told him to get needling me? I suppose it was. Couldn’t fault the guy for taking that request as seriously as he had when I originally asked about piercings. Madyx had been nothing but a professional on task, even through the flirting. He seemed to be dealing with things much better than I was. And that was a good thing, I didn’t want a guy with nerves and shaky hands coming at me with a needle. Hell no.

A clipboard with a paper had been handed to me along with instructions to fill it out. Pain, numbing, more piercings. Woah. That needed addressing before any ink hit the page.-

Uh. No. I won’t be getting a Prince Albert. I can tell you that with confidence. Something about it feels…just not for me. But you can still make the judgement on placement regardless.

-Nodding to myself, I picked up the pen that came with the clipboard Mad had given me. I read over the words on the consent form, though they didn’t stick, I had to give them a couple more passes before I caught the gist of what should have been an easy read, my mind was still too preoccupied with everything, it didn’t have room for unimportant things like informed consent for a body modification procedure. I laughed as I realized it had been the same for me when I was working the nine to five.- Paperwork, yeah? Does anyone ever enjoy that part of these things?

-I focused on filling in the blanks, and was surprised at how steady my hand felt. The nerves I was previously feeling seemed to settle right into anticipation and excitement. As I got to the part about pain, I hesitated. I knew I had a pretty decent pain threshold. I had survived falling out of my childhood treehouse, broke my ankle and still managed to hobble my way back into the house before I felt any real pain register.

I checked the box to forgo the numbing. It felt a little like cheating myself on the whole experience anyway. I didn’t want to look back on this night and regret having missed out on even some pain. Pain was the counterbalance to merely existing. It let you know you were alive.

When he asked me if I had any questions, I shook my head no and looked up just in time to see his face flush with heat. Well now. My grin was instant and full as I passed him the completed paper. All doubt about his invite to stick around being out of pity fell away as fast as I could unbutton my jeans. That red on his cheeks told me he was just as affected by me as I was him.

There was nothing left to do but put myself on display for him as instructed. Full wood be damned, I swung my legs around to rest on the outstretched part of the chair and pressed my back against the upper part as I pressed my feet down using the leverage to lift my hips up as I lowered the zipper, and in one smooth motion I pushed my jeans and boxers down enough to give him all the access he needed to get the job done.-

Madyx:

<I eyed the paperwork, scanning into my head all of his preferences. I was thrilled by the fact he hadn’t opted for the numbing, but I didn’t think I’d add any bonus pain. We’d see how he handled the forceps and go from there. Setting the clipboard aside, I tried to avert my eyes, I really did, when it was curtain call time. I didn’t want him to feel as though I was going to sit there and gawk, but I’d be lying to myself if I wasn’t looking forward to the reveal. Shit, if my peripheral vision was any indication, I was in a world of trouble. I cleared my throat. Oh man.

I’d encountered plenty of cock in my life and wasn’t lacking confidence when it came to his, but my attraction was throwing a wrench into the mix. Hello nerves. Here he was, cock out and I was the one hesitating. I stalled… getting everything I needed to make the piercings happen all lined up before finally finding my balls again. Rotating on my stool, my eyes went immediately to his...full staff.

Holy shit.

His dick was...the Adonis of dicks. I tried to casually rub my gloved-hand over my mouth to hide the way I was grinning on sight of it, but it was too late. It was NOT professional but I couldn’t help it. I was also full of gratitude because I had asked him to hang out before the reveal; I didn’t want him to feel objectified. The sexual tension between us was arresting but it wasn’t the only thing driving the mood. Atticus seemed to be throwing off this vibe - no - a distinct message, that if he were going to get any pleasure out of the deal, I’d have to indulge in my own.

I finally lifted my eyes to make that contact with his and smirked for what felt like the fiftieth time in the course of thirty minutes. It felt dirty. It felt right. It felt easy. I wondered how his desires would shift if I told him my pleasure would be his body under mine before my lips wrapped around that Adonis cock. And that that would just be the warm up.

While my mind surfed these waves of fantasy, there was suspense in the silence, but it was not uncomfortable. I was overdue on throwing some dialogue into the mix.> I can work with that.

<Yep. I could. I could put in normal hours, plus overtime and then some holiday while I was at it. Ten gauge was going to be perfect. He definitely had the size for the eights, but his dick was too gorgeous to let the jewelry take center stage. I should have fucking known... it matched the rest of him.>

I’m pretty confident you know yourself, so I believe you on the Prince Albert, but who knows what five years might change. <Grabbing one of the brushed steel barbells, I brought it up to set it against the back side of his shaft, below the head. I knew the metal would be cold against his skin and I couldn’t help myself from making contact. Gods...he was so hard, and it was apparently making my own cock want to stand up and shake hands. I inhaled through my nose to calm my shit, because I still had work to do. I moved the placement of the barbell down.> Number two I was thinking it should sit... right here. <I increased pressure this time, resisting every urge to add some fae enhancements to the mix.> Thoughts? Do you want to see how any other styles look, make sure this is the right aesthetic? Not that you can’t swap it later, but I want you to like what you walk away with. <Ouch, somehow saying the last part stung and made me immediately want to retract the words for how they made me feel. Thankfully there was a double frenum piercing at hand, and that fact kept me anchored in the moment.>

Atticus:

-If ever I felt like I was living my life in slow motion, it was right now. Once I had shoved my jeans down, I settled into the chair and waited. It was much like ripping a band-aid off. Quick, easy, mostly painless. I looked over and watched as Madyx turned toward me, and almost laughed, he was doing his damndest to not outright stare. He was failing. I could see his gaze moving all over but it kept returning to my cock. That did wonders for the nerves I had been previously feeling about the whole situation.

I could see the grin he wasn’t quite able to hide with his hand and if that wasn’t the most endearing thing I had seen, I didn’t know what was. It was obvious he was needing a couple of seconds to gather his thoughts, and I wanted to put him at ease, make a joke, something, but I was already struggling as much as he seemed to be. What a pair we were right now.

Then, something must have righted itself for him, because he looked me dead in the eye and fucking smirked.

Guess his thoughts had figured out where they wanted to go because he immediately followed that smirk up with a comment about being able to work with what I had on display. I laughed hard. More of the slightly awkward tension between us melted away in that moment. I was about to tell him he had no choice but to work with it because I wasn’t looking to have any cosmetic surgery done, but he once again brought up future piercings. I shook my head.- Seriously, I’d rather you tattoo your name across my forehead than get a…

-I trailed off as he brought a barbell up to check for sizing and all further words died on my tongue. I swallowed them down as the cool metal hit heated skin. It was light, barely there at first, but the second one I felt firmer pressure and all I could do was nod at his recommendations.-

You’re the expert here, Mad. I trust you. Despite the current circumstances, I’m not exactly the flashy type, so go with whatever you think will look best. Better yet, choose what you would want to have. Yeah. Go with that. That’s what I want. What you’d choose if you were me.

-The idea of having hand picked barbells felt right. It would be something I could have with me to remember this night and experience. I knew I wouldn’t forget anything about this, or Madyx for as long as I lived. Everything from the moment I walked into the shop felt like I was living right in the middle of what would be one of those memories a person wished they could relive over and over again once it was over. His comment about walking away with something I liked hit right in the chest, and that took me by surprise.

At no point during any of my travelling west had I felt the desire to put down roots, and now, this guy was sewing seeds of doubt and wonder. I wasn’t sure what to do with that. Sure, he asked me to stick around after the piercings were done, but that didn’t mean he meant for more than the night. Did it?-

Madyx:

I like you, Atticus, and there is no way in hell I’d let you get my name on your forehead. Maybe your ass, but not your face. <more smirking as I set the jewelry down> Promise me you won’t ever mess with all that gorgeous.

<My tone was firm and unyielding, even with the understanding he’d been joking. He didn’t need any extras, he was almost too-easy on the eyes, his good looks authentic even under his pseudo-disguise of road wear. I was just about to ease into the comfort zone and cruise at a lazy pace, when he hit me with another heart-punch.

My head leaned to one side and my grin lifted on the opposite end when he asked me to pick out the barbells for him. While I knew they were anything but permanent, something kicked at me deep down, an awareness that this was more than just a casual request from him. It was for me too. Hello fireball of feelings. I let every level hit me without putting up a defense. I was stunned, honored, aroused and touched in all the right ways. And….there was my heart again, banging so hard in my chest I felt the throb in my dick. My smile was broad and open.>

That’s a first. In my ten plus years of doing this, nobody has ever asked me to pick for them. Thanks for that trust. <I hit his eyes with mine to hopefully convey the conviction in my words. I already knew what I was going with for him, but I was going to show him why. I picked up one of the brushed steel 10-gauges and held it between us.> These...are understated. Also underrated, if you ask me. I promise you I’m not trying to pawn off inventory, but these have been overlooked by one-hundred percent of clients. Not only do they match your energy…these are going to leave any partner with a some extra sensation for the matte surface of the balls. It may be subtle, but not negligible. Check it out while I get you ready. <I dropped the barbell into his hand and redirected my attention to his cock. Damn. He definitely wasn’t flaccid. I switched out my gloves, snapping on a new set because I’d been premature with the first pair, even if they were just for show. A perk of being inked or pierced by a pleasure fae was the zero risk and accelerated healing for the recipient.

I went about setting up the sterile environment, framing his crotch with surgical drape before opening up an antiseptic wipe to prep his shaft.> This might be a little cold. <I popped my brows and then swiped up and down the backside of his dick. Sweet hell, it was challenging to keep my head in the game. After I finished up with that, I pinched the skin below his head, it was tight, but I could get the needle through without risk of injury. Grabbing the forceps, I clamped the skin to hold it in place, lifting my eyes.>

Take a breath with me, Atticus.

When you’re ready. Just say the word.

Atticus:

-I had been expecting laughter, to have my request of Mad choosing the hardware for me brushed off on some kind of professional boundary or limitation given the personal nature, and how once used, the barbells couldn’t be returned if I didn’t like them. None of those things happened. Instead, I found myself holding a slightly rough piece of stainless steel, after being told to give it a feel. I rolled it between my thumb and index finger while my brain caught up with the compliments he had paid me only moments before.

He liked me. That’s what he had said. I already figured as much, but getting the vocal confirmation was nice. I’d need it to remind myself if I went and got all doubting Thomas again. As I considered the way the brushed metal dragged over the pads of my fingertips, I chuckled to myself at how casually he had suggested tattooing his name on my ass. The idea struck me in a way that didn’t leave me feeling like I had earlier when he asked if I had been interested in getting some ink. And what a conundrum that left me in.

I reminded myself I still was not the tattoo type, not by a long shot then shook my head to get my brain back online before I could make any more snap decisions, because getting two piercings was plenty of snap decisions for one night. The whole sticking around afterward was not being counted as a secondary snap decision. No way, it was all one, a giant umbrella of snap decision making.

Madyx’s voice brought me out of my head and straight back into the present along with the rude awakening that was a cold swipe along the underside of my dick.- Shit. -I laughed in surprise then forced myself to pay the fuck attention. I had completely missed the whole paper apron thing that was now on my lap happening.

If I wanted to replay this memory in my mind in the near future, and I knew that I would, I’d need to absorb as much detail as I could. Gaps and missing steps did not a proper memory make. Solid memories were supposed to fade slowly, over time, leaving you with just the feelings the experience gave when the images failed to be recalled. That was the way nostalgia worked, and I wanted tonight to give old and grey-haired me of the future so much nostalgia it would last me until the very end.

Mad’s grip as he worked to prep for the first piercing was firm and sure, practiced and professional, and surprisingly not at all painful. My skin had already felt stretched tight, but somehow he managed to get a grip and place the clamp on where he wanted. My heart kicked against my chest. This was happening. Only moments away from him jamming a needle through my skin. No big deal. This was what I wanted. My eyes never left his hands as they held the clamp in place. Then, when his voice hit my ears I looked up to meet his gaze, and inhaled deeply as he instructed, like he just knew I needed it. After a couple of thudding wooshes of my pulse in my ears, I exhaled and nodded at him.- Yep. I’m ready. Do it.

Madyx:

Just keep taking nice slow breaths for me, Atticus.

<I pinched the skin below the forceps then clamped the spot for the second piercing. The stage was set and it was showtime. I licked between my lips before I realized what I was doing. I couldn’t help it, even with all kinds of hardware obscuring the view, his dick was making my mouth water. The only thing that stopped me from winding down that road of fantasy was the overriding desire to make the experience everything and all about him. Vibe or not, this was about what he was going to take with him, and not in the way of body jewelry.

I looked up again, finding the anchor of his eyes while I disinfected the needle I’d just popped out of its packaging. Without even realizing it, I noted our breaths had remained synced, and that connection ran through my veins like wildfire.

Refocusing back on the task at hand, I positioned the hollow needle and I took a steadying breath, then counted down in my head… three… two… one. I pushed the needle through his flesh, before sliding the piercing in behind it in a fluid and seamless exchange.>

One down. You’re doing stellar.

Keep breathing.

How are we doing, Atticus? <I nearly dropped a hand to his thigh to soothe...but that would have been too blatant, too soon. But… I wanted to. Damn it. I really wanted to.>

Atticus:

-I WAS NOT READY. It was too late to back out. I didn’t want to back out. His hands were on my dick, I didn’t even have time to properly enjoy that because the second pair of metal forceps were clamping more skin right below the pair he had already situated in place. It was tight and only slightly uncomfortable. A sample taste of the pain to come. I was brimming with anticipation and my heart was pounding even harder than it had been moments ago.

Mad was there with the save, reminding me to keep breathing. I nodded my head and did as I was told, eyes never leaving his hands as they worked. And then, as he sterilized the needle, I looked up and our gazes locked for a few seconds. I hoped I was still breathing because it was really happening now, and gods I didn’t want to pass out on him.

Holy shit, when did the time suddenly start going so fast, it had just been all flirting and fun and now it was all HERE YOU GO, ASSHOLE, THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR.

The first needle passed through my flesh.-

Oh my FUCKING hell. Shit bags on fire. -It was painful, not agonizingly so, but still heady and palpable in a way that felt like a rush. The adrenaline that had already been pumping through my veins during his entire set up along with my anticipation had given me a tool I could use for the next piercing. Mad was there again with his very helpful “Keep breathing.”-

Thank you needle stabber extraordinaire for that reminder.

-Was he going slower this time?! WTF, WHY? I almost had enough time to ask, the words died on my lips as the second needle was pushed through as steadily as the first one had. I watched in some kind of daze as he threaded the ball onto the second barbell. I didn’t remember seeing the first one being screwed into place, but then again, I had been creatively swearing my way through the pain that wasn’t really as bad as I had expected it to be. The thrill of the moment and the whole experience lingered for me before slowly beginning to recede, being replaced with a dull aching throb that promised to stay the night and well into the next few days, like an unwanted house guest. It was akin to the lingering effects of being sacked. Breaking my ankle had been a far more acute, searing pain. This I could handle.

I exhaled hard and leaned my head back against the chair before looking over at Mad and grinning so I could answer his question.- Good. I think? -I paused to assess my faculties, and decided that I was indeed feeling pretty damn good and shit I wasn’t completely hard anymore, but still at a pretty decent semi.- Yeah. It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, not that I’m saying it feels good like a blowjob feels good. But definitely not as bad.

Madyx:

I prefer Mad to “needle stabber extraordinaire” but I still wouldn’t kick you out of bed if you insisted on calling me the latter.

<Bookending the statement with a wink, I completed my work before letting him steep in the breadth of involuntary reactions he’d earned. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from drifting the way of being buried inside of him, riding out the experience while physically connected. The adrenaline started to wear, I could tell because his skin was less flushed with color, despite the golden tan he’d likely picked up during his travels. When he dropped his head back against the rest, I absorbed his spectrum of reflexes like a sponge, the subtle diminishment of shock giving way to evened out inhales and exhales, and the slow grin that manifested in complement to the startling blue of his eyes. Talk about piercing. Fuck. The longer I stared, the more gorgeous he got. While his dick hung out in the open air, I kept my eyes up north, memorizing the features that were partially responsible for stoking my hunger to connect. Not that I’d forget him, he was already branded on my brain in searing relief.

My grin widened at his answer, but the brows popped at the mention of a blowjob. I grunted, completely uninhibited, wanting to strike without warning and suck him down my throat, but I resisted again, looking to amp up that sexual tension. I snapped off my gloves and tossed them into the closest trash can, licking my lips for what felt like the hundredth time in his presence.>

That an invitation, Atticus?

Because I’d really, really like to make you feel good.

Still up for a celebratory beer? I’ve got a fully stocked bar, too, if you want something stronger to commemorate the night.

<My eyes flicked back to his cock which I’d neglected to tell him he could put away.> They look so bad ass. I mean, your dick is a stunner on its own, but now it has the addition of hardware to entice. Flash with caution.

Atticus:

-Invitation. Was what an invitation? Had I missed something? I thought I had been paying pretty decent attention now that he was no longer stabbing my dick with needles, but maybe my concentration was more focused on the lingering throb of my pulse at the double piercing sites. I tried to rewind my brain for a minute to find a clue, and failed. Then, when Mad said he wouldn’t kick me out of bed and followed that up with how he really wanted to make me feel good, I connected more than a couple of dots.

We were moving out of heavy flirting and right into the possibility of something more. Shiiit. Yes. Please.

I chuckled low when I realized he was referring to my earlier talk of a blowjob. That had to be the invitation he was asking about. Did I want more than just flirting shamelessly? My dick said DUH. It had wanted more at first sight of Mad, that much was obvious. While I contemplated all the ways I could say yes without coming across as desperately eager, I faintly registered the sound of something hitting the floor though I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Mad’s to see what it was. I was stuck in this moment of possibility, I already knew I’d be tipping myself in the direction of answering all the what ifs I’d have if I declined. My head nodded before I could find my voice when he mentioned a beer. A drink sounded like a great idea, especially the thought of sharing one with him. And then after, by the sounds of it, we could be sharing a bed. I hoped. God how I hoped.

I opened my mouth to accept his offer and then laughed loudly when he complimented my cock, he was talking about more than just the work he’d done. Fortunately, he gave me something I could focus on. I didn’t think offering a lame “thanks” would really convey the way his words twisted up my gut, not to mention the slight heat it brought to the back of my neck, my palm itched to rub at it, but I resisted. Displaying embarrassment at a compliment wasn’t what I wanted to do, not after I’d managed to survive the whole hard dick show and tell from only ten? fifteen? minutes ago.

Besides, how did one even reply to having their junk being called a stunner. I had zero clue. I felt so far out of practice. The flashing I could work with, however. After taking a moment to angle my dick to get a better view of the piercings, I grinned over at him and swung my legs over the side of the chair, and stood up. Tucking myself back into my jeans was a slower than normal process out of fear of doing something to bring on a sudden jolt of holy-shit-how-could-I-forget-I-was-just-pierced pain, fastening the buttons of my fly was handled with more confidence. I even managed to multi-task by answering his question.-

I’m no expert, but I think your work is great. Thank you. Now, about your sage advice...since I’ve already flashed you for more than the customary quick glance, does that mean I no longer have to exercise caution with you? -My brow lifted in teasing humour before I quickly spoke again.- Wait. Maybe save your answer for when we’re having that beer you mentioned.

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dragimal · 4 years

Text

so I just watched Annihilation again and I have some thoughts

to start off, let me highlight a couple ways that Annihilation gets biology wrong

- the way Lena describes all the flowers growing near the hut, “To look at them you wouldn’t say that they are the same species… but they’re growing from the same branch structure… so it *has* to be the same species. It’s the same plant! It’s like they’re stuck in a continuous mutation.” ‘same species’ is, uh, not the conclusion I would first come to in that situation! if anything, I’d go for extreme symbiosis (like lichen-level) first, maybe some radiation-induced grafting of plants together (as this is something that can actually be done to certain plants irl, depending on compatibility). plant physiology/ecology is *notoriously* easy to fuck with without even going so far as the gene level to do so

- when Lena is analyzing the gator-shark, she says, “you can’t cross-breed between different species,” which is blatantly false lmao. I’m willing to believe she simply meant something like “between broad clades” and was just simplifying the idea for her non-bio teammates, but in context with all the other weird bio assumptions she makes, idk...

- the scene w/ the human-shaped plants, where Josie explains that the HOX genes were mutated to reflect those of humans.... that’s not how HOX genes work?

see, on a basic level, HOX genes function like gene->part, NOT gene->shape. like, look at this diagram of fly HOX genes

each gene corresponds to a part/section of the fly, not any particular shape. thus, if a plant were to turn “human” (or vis-versa in Josie’s case) via *specifically* HOX mutation, the mutations would occur as parts reflecting parts. say, something like the stalk specifically forming the torso, the leaves specifically forming the fingers, the apical meristem forming the head, etc. (idk exact plant or human genetics, so don’t quote me on those *specific* reflections, but u get the gist), which might then be arranged into an approximate human shape

(and this isn’t even to *mention* the fact that genes end up coding for different things over time, so the exact same codes are simply going to *mean* something different when applied to the genes of different organisms. tho I’m far more willing to assume alien radiation interference on that front)

now these are little bits that have bugged me since I first saw the movie, but something always held me back from trying to ‘fix’ the worldbuilding (as I am want to do). it’s only recently that I realized that I never actually wanted to fix the worldbuilding-- I’ve always loved the worldbuilding just fine! it was the character explanations that were so wrong

like, these events could have been explained with a lil more plausibility. the flowers at the hut could’ve undergone some hyper-drive symbiosis, or even had any ability for horizontal gene transfer ramped up to goddamned 1000. the human-shaped plants could’ve taken on the shape of a human via some warped radiation that kept the environmental ‘imprint’ of a human from the area, and reflected it onto the plants via epigenetic tinkering. then Josie turning into a plant looked far more like rapid absorption by a plant parasite rather than her actually turning *into* a plant. these are explanations I immediately latched onto as a biologist myself-- explanations I feel any other biologist would at least *consider* long before just... completely misinterpreting the way HOX genes function

now I only really realized all this after watching Folding Ideas’ video abt Annihilation and Metaphor. u may be wondering: how did an analysis video abt metaphor help me reach this conclusion abt the more concrete worldbuilding (however much of it we can even take at face-value)? well the thing abt aliens is that, as far as we know, they could function on metaphor!

aliens are literally unknowable by our current understanding of biology and life. the movie itself even blatantly states that, “It’s not like us… it’s unlike us.” we’re so entrenched in what life looks like on Earth, we have no goddamned CLUE what life could look like elsewhere, under different circumstances. this search for the true, distilled basics of life is at the heart of the field of Universal Biology, and why some researchers are actively trying to change the way they approach and think abt Earth life as well

thus, everything that the Shimmer causes is completely plausible to me, whether on a biological level, metaphysical level, or both! and specifically, the idea of an alien species having some control over metaphysical properties, beyond what we can sense or comprehend, is what leads me to believe that an alien species could, theoretically, work by “metaphor logic”

like, “reflection and refraction”. what would it mean for us to encounter an alien species can read our psychology and reflect us so intimately? that can recognize our *essence*, and apply our shape to other organisms, and vis-versa? it’s absolutely fascinating to consider

so with that in mind, when I criticize the bunk biology explanations, I totally get that this movie is far more metaphor than anything-- that when the movie says the flowers are “the same plant”, or implies that Josie “became” the plant, it’s working directly towards themes around self-identity and trauma and change

BUT here’s the thing. by not understanding actual biology enough to apply the explanations in functional ways w/ the themes, the movie misses a GOLDEN opportunity for an even MORE fitting, blatant metaphor

remember me explaining that HOX genes don’t equate to shape? it’s environmental factors that influence the shape of plants (and, honestly, the shape of organisms in general) via stressors like temperature, amount of light, wind speeds, etc. while these stressors can’t change the actual sequence/makeup of DNA in a given organism’s lifespan, they *can* change the ways genes are expressed in that lifespan—essentially how tightly/loosely DNA strands are packed and how easily transcriptions factors can subsequently read and further express those genes

these changes in how DNA is packaged/expressed can then, shockingly enough, be passed on to later generations. epigenetics studies this particular kind of inheritance, and has led further to the study of “inherited trauma”*, and how the stressors that a parent experiences may pass on genetically to their offspring to prepare them for those same stressors, whether the offspring actually encounter those stressors or not

(*NOTE: this field of study is still rather novel-- research into inherited trauma in humans in particular is still in its infancy, and while it’s yielded interesting results, it’s good to be critical and cautious of these results in the context of other environmental factors)

like. inherited trauma. I can’t fucking believe Annihilation missed that opportunity. and with how much ppl focus on the Lena/Kane’s potential “shimmery kids” you’d think this would be an even more obvious extension of the metaphor

anyways, Annihilation good movie. but neither Lena nor Josie passed 5th grade biology

#shut up ashley #annihilation #annihilation movie #long post

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twdmusicboxmystery · 4 years

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S6 Template for Where We Are Currently in the Show

Morning Everyone! So, after getting a particular Ask almost two weeks ago about shirt colors (black and white) in 6x08 and 6x09 pointing to future story arcs, I decided to re-watch the episodes and see what I came up with. This post is what came out of that. It’s a bit long, so get comfortable, but I had tons of fun rewatching these. I don’t get to do that much anymore these days.

So, I looked at Carol's white shirt in these episodes, but as I watched, I kept going back to an earlier time that we'd seen Carol wearing a white shirt.

Remember, this was the episode where she went out together acorns and had to kill that really Beth-ish walker and then come back and shower and change her clothes. It's also in this episode that she takes Tobin acorn cookies. And they’re pink. (Pink Theory)

So, the gist of what I'm going to say is that I think the entire season is a template for what's going happen moving forward. And honestly, we’ve seen this often enough that it's probably true of every season in some way or another. But will stick with S6 for now.

So, in thinking about Carol and Tobin 6x02, something occurred to me. I think Tobin is a prequel/foreshadow/forerunner of Ezekiel. It's actually a fairly common way to foreshadow something: have a smaller instance of it to foreshadow the bigger instance. I’ve said that with Glenn's death before. His death fakeout served many purposes, but in terms of his own arc, it was a foreshadow of his upcoming real death. In this case, they just put Carol in a short-term relationship in order to foreshadow her long-term relationship with Ezekiel.

And I bet if we studied Carzekiel as closely as we study Bethyl, we would come up with a lot of dialogue parallels and such. I don't have a whole lot of them, but I can think of one major event that was the same in both cases. ( I just had the thought that Carol showing up at Tobin's doorstep with cookies is a whole lot like Ezekiel showing up at her cabin with the pomegranate.)

So, in Carol and Tobin's arc together, remember that she takes off and leaves him at the end of S6. That's when Morgan goes after her and it leads to her finding Ezekiel in the Kingdom. (Not at all an accident that she leaves Tobin and immediately runs in to her soulmate.)

I'm equating that with her leaving Ezekiel after Henry died. And Henry is the other part of the parallel. Carol left Tobin because she was dealing with Sam's death. The death of a child that she felt guilty about. She left Ezekiel for the same reason, after Henry's death. So, you can see the parallels between the two arcs. And that shows that what happened in S6 can foreshadow what's happening currently in the show between her and Ezekiel.

I promise I'll stop talking about Carol and get to the more important stuff. But one more interesting thing that kinda made my jaw drop: After Creepy Wolf Dude took Denise and Morgan, Carol, Rosita, and Tara are on the brownstone together, Carol is looking out the window and Morgan walks up behind her.

He says, "you had a child? A husband?" And it's interesting because he doesn't say daughter, and Carol doesn't reference Sophia or Ed by name. And if you think about what's happened—Morgan was trying to keep her from killing Creepy Wolf Dude because "life is precious" and all that—there's really no reason for him to randomly ask about her past. But I think this shows that it's a foreshadow of what's to come. The next time around, they'll be talking about Ezekiel and Henry, rather than Ed and Sophia.

Okay, so all that was just to show that the entire season foreshadows what's to come. And when I watched 6x09, Daryl, Sasha, and Abraham on the road with the saviors, my just my mind just kept going back to the previous episode about them, which was 6x06.

And we all know how much Beth symbolism was in that.

We saw Daryl meeting Dwight in the woods in 6x06 and all of the symbolism there. We already know from plenty of analyzing that Sasha and Abraham represent Beth and Daryl. I also think, in some cases, the two of them together represent Beth. But if you look at Daryl's arc in a very broad way for 6x06, we have him getting separated from Sasha and Abe (Beth) and by the end of the episode, he finds them again.

So, in terms of S6 being a template, 6x06 represents Beth and Daryl's entire separation arc. It's on a very small scale, but it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? Why the place they stayed, and Daryl later found them again had a sunrise on it. Why Sasha wrote his name with the huge X in the center. It's to show that this is a type of Beth and Daryl’s separation arc and then their reunion.

Okay, so let's go back to what’s happening in S6. I'm not going to do this chronologically, but let's start with Daryl on the road meeting saviors. I want to point out one thing. The main leader of this group says something I've always zeroed in on but could never quite make fit.

At one point, he says, "ding dong, Hells bells." That's a reference to the Wizard of Oz. Because, "ding dong, the wicked witch is dead." I've always wanted to make that a Beth thing because the Wizard of Oz template was used for the Grady storyline. When I first heard it, back when this episode aired, I felt sure it was because she was with the Saviors and it was a hint toward that. Obviously not.

But now I'm seeing that this is a Beth template, and that's probably why they put this here. Also notice the Saviors here are wearing black. Which could mean that they foreshadow the CRM. So, the most obvious thing I'm seeing here is that per 6x06, Beth and Daryl reunite after being separated for a long time. Then, on the road back to Alexandria, they run into the CRM (people in black). Maybe Daryl blows up the CRM in some way or kills them. And that will bring TF into a war with the helicopter group, much like it did with the Saviors.

(@frangipanilove also pointed out that there’s an AC/DC song called Hells Bells. So there’s a musical reference thrown into the mix. Which is awesome! ;D)

Okay, the next thing Nonny said is that Glenn and Enid probably represent Beth. I think that's true, but I think she's represented in a lot of different ways in this sequence. Specifically, through Sasha/Abe, Glenn/Enid, and Denise.

I won't need to go into a lot of detail about Denise. I didn’t see a whole lot more here than I’ve said in the past. I still think her being taken captive by Creepy Wolf Dude is a foreshadow of a storyline for Beth. There were two lines of dialogue that jumped out and me. When she’s in the brownstone, alone, with Creepy Wolf Dude, she tells him to "show me the wound." That SUPER jumped out at me because in 9x05 when Rick left, we heard Beth’s voice say, “what’s your wound.” Very similar.

The other one was Creepy Wolf Dude explaining how he got his injury. It really wasn't a bite. He said he was breaking into a car and got cut on a rusty bumper. So, the car mention really jumped out at me. I feel like were going to see the fulfillment of this sequence with Creepy Wolf Dude and Denise for Beth sometime after she wakes up. Maybe whoever saved her after Coda gets hurt and she tends to them medically. He also talked about wanting to take over the wall with him to the outside and about how it wasn't as scary out there as she thinks it is. So yeah, it still screams Beth to me.

For Enid and Glenn, they return, and immediately run into Beth's (the blue, green, and yellow) church. And there, they find a gun. We have a combination of the weapon and the biblical symbols. Glenn even tells Enid to look inside the Bibles in case one of them is hollowed out.

But the biggest thing here is that Maggie was in trouble and they came back to save her. And they sort of did, but then Glenn got in trouble and Sashraham showed up to save the day. So, we have two separate instances (Glenn/Enid and Sasha/Abraham) of Beth or Bethyl showing up in the nick of time to save everybody. I think we can all get behind that.

Also, when Maggie gets up on the scaffold, we see the red and green together. Green cord, Maggie’s red shoelaces. We’ve always seen that as a resurrection symbol, and said it probably has to do with Glenn being alive. I still think that’s true, but taken a broader context, it could also be a foreshadow of Beth's return and that this is a template for it.

Okay, so let's look at this from a little bit broader view. We have five main groups that these two episodes focus on alternately. Maggie, Daryl/Sasha/Abraham, Tara/Rosita/Eugene, Carol/Morgan (by 6x09, the two of them merge with Eugene’s group) and then Rick and Michonne's group who are in Jesse's house.

(For the record, there are two other groups we see very briefly but they aren’t focused on in this episode. One is Olivia and Eric (Aaron's boyfriend) in the armory. We don't see what they're doing except that when the rest of the group runs out into the street to fight the walkers, they join in. And finally, the group that's in the infirmary before Denise gets there. This includes Aaron and Heath. Especially where Heath is concerned, I think that's super important. I’ll come back to it in a minute.)

I’ll start by talking about Morgan, Carol, Tara, Rosita, and Eugene. There’s definitely some interesting dialogue, especially from Eugene. I also think it's super important that they all seem to be wearing light-colored shirts, and that Eugene and Carol are in the same place.

Because where we are currently in the series is that Eugene and Ezekiel are the same place. Now, Ezekiel wasn’t in the show at this point, so it was impossible to have him here, but I'm wondering if at some point in the spinoff, Carol and Daryl will split up and go their separate ways and Carol will go to find Ezekiel.

(We already know there will be a falling out between Daryl and Carol in the upcoming bonus episodes and that they will go their separate ways for a time. Obviously they’ll come back together for the spinnof. But I think this separation foreshadows that in the spinoff, they’ll leave together, but at some point they’ll split up and go to separate places. We saw this with Huck and Felix in TWB, which is a template for the spinoff. And my theory is that Carol will go to find Ezekiel when that happens.)

That's really the biggest thing I think this points to. I also wonder how and if Morgan will be involved. Since he still alive, he could be. But he's also not on the show right now, so it's hard to tell. I suppose it just depends on where FTWD is at that point, and if they bring him back or cross him over into the spinoff. I think that's a real possibility.

I also want to point out the beginning of 6x08, right after the church falls, Carol trips and falls down. It turns out, she slipped on some bullets. Morgan helps her up and they run into the brownstone. It then goes on to say that she's hurt in the head and may even have a concussion.

Now, my first thought was that was super unrealistic, since all she did was trip and fall and we don’t even really see her hit her head. But she's also tricking Morgan and pretending to be more hurt than she actually is, so it may just be a ruse anyway.

But the point is, between the bullets, and the mention of concussion, that's a huge Beth parallel. So, not sure if this points to Carol being part of a death fakeout, or somehow it's pointing back to Beth. If anything, I think it might point toward the Carzekiel death fakeout because it's after this that Morgan mentions you had—past tense—a son and a husband. So, if I'm right about that, we have a representation of the fake out, and then eventually Carol goes to where Eugene is. See what I mean?

Oh, one more cool thing about Eugene’s group? Remember at first it was him and Tara and Rosita in the garage. Eugene had to pick the lock to get into the house. As soon as he does, they run into Denise and Creepy Wolf Dude kidnapping her. Um…Denise = Beth, so this may well be a representation of Eugene and his two friends (in S10 it’s Yumiko and Ezekiel) running into Beth. Also notice the lock/key reference that led to her. Just saying.

Okay, let's talk about Rick and Michonne’s group. In a lot of ways, this might be the biggest deal, but it's also the most fluid. I had a hard time seeing much of anything as a foreshadow from this group. At least, during the first part in Jesse's house. I mean, Rick is with Jesse, and there's drama between Ron and Carl. I've said before that a lot of their dialogue foreshadow Ron’s death for sure. But I just wasn't seeing anything very new. But I will say now that I think that this does foreshadow Carl's death as well. I get to that in a minute.

But I really started seeing some important stuff with Rick and Michonne’s group in 6x09 when they all moved out into the crowd of walkers covered in guts.

When they decide to go to the quarry instead of the armory (because they can’t get to the armory) Jesse says Judith won't make it. And Father Gabriel says he'll take Judith and protect her. I'm sure you can figure out why think that's important.

1) The Sirius character who represents Beth takes Judith with him to protect her.

2) We have a representation of Rick and Michonne and being separated from Judith. Even if FG just represents himself in this sequence, where we are in the series now, we have Judith and FG in the same place. So again, this feels like a representation of where we are now. Rick and Michonne have left Judith in, sort of, Gabriel’s care. (I know she’s really more in Daryl’s care, but Michonne did tell her to be good for Aunt Rosita, and if Daryl doesn’t leave with Carol to get Judith in the spin-off—if it’s about Rick instead or something—I’m assuming he’ll leave the kids with Maggie and Gabriel.)

Interestingly, Rick and Michonne are still together, which they aren’t where we are now in the series, but we don't know how long it's gonna take Michonne to find Rick. She might find him quickly and the two of them will be together for significant period of time together inside the CRM. The point is, they’re in a different place than Judith.

So, the group moves on, and of course both Sam and Jesse are killed. And when Ron tries to shoot Rick, Michonne kills him and Carl is shot.

This is the next significant piece. Of course we all know that Carl was shot in the eye in the comic books, so it’s something that they were always going to do in the show. But I really think this probably foreshadows Carl's death as well. Much like Glenn, his almost death here could be used as a foreshadowing for his real death down the line.

Of course, Rick picks him up and he and Michonne make their way to the infirmary. And here's what really jumped out at me about the infirmary: Heath is there.

Angela Kang has confirmed that Heath is inside the CRM. We know Rick is inside it somewhere, and that Michonne is heading to him. So, we have this interesting sequence where Michonne and Rick arrive in a new place and Heath is already there. See what I mean? So, I think we could possibly interpret this as Carl getting shot foreshadowing Carl's death, and then sometime after that, Rick and Michonne and end up at the CRM with Heath.

But I can even give you third possibility here. With Carl being hurt, Rick goes into one of his losing-it trances and leaves the infirmary with his ax to fight the walkers. We hear Michonne screaming after him to wait. She waits until Denise has a good handle on Carl's condition and then she hurries after Rick to fight the walkers. I always loved this scene.

This is the only real representation I saw of Rick and Michonne being separated for a short period of time. Because he heads out without her.

So, think of it this way. He heads out into a hoard of walkers alone. And she screaming his name. Sounds a lot like what happened when he disappeared in 9x05. Meanwhile, Michonne stays behind, taking care of Rick's kids. In this case, it's Carl, but in S9, it’s Judith and RJ. Then, when she sure Carl is safe, or as safe as she can make him, she kisses him goodbye and goes after Rick. So, kind of like she left Judith and RJ behind to go look for Rick. Interestingly, who did she leave Carl with in S6? Denise. Who is a proxy of Beth.

So, I get that all of these overlap and they're very nonlinear. But I’m sure you can see what I mean about why I think all of S6 is a foreshadow of what's to come. And where we are right now in the series is at the crossroads of a lot of these possible foreshadows. Especially of Eugene finding Denise/Beth.

And if we’re super literal with the interpretation, we might even say that Eugene finds Beth (Denise) in the Commonwealth, but then she leaves with someone else (whoever the equivalent of Creepy Wolf Dude will be for Beth) and then Denise goes to the infirmary, which is probably the CRM because Heath is there. And she's there when Rick and Michonne arrive.

I'm not at all set in stone about what I think will happen. I'm just saying its possibility. Beth, CRM, and Rick are things we’ve been looking at closely since Rick left in S9, so this is super-interesting.

Kind of a footnote, but when Denise is still with Creepy Wolf Dude, Carol shoots him. I'm not really sure how to interpret that. Maybe that was just for this episode and not part of the template. Because Carol was still with Eugene's group, but she went outside, saw Denise and Creepy Wolf Dude, and shot him so Denise could get away. So, no idea how to interpret that for future storyline, but it's kind of interesting. Carol being at all involved could possibly be traced back to the fact that she and Beth were at Grady together. Also makes me wonder if maybe at some point in TWB, Huck will shoot someone to save Will, Felix's boyfriend. Just because of the parallels.

And finally, I feel like Rick and Michonne going outside and leading the charge against all the walkers is something that has been foreshadowed many times. Remember that when I talked about 7x08, I said that Rick and Michonne coming to hilltop represented them returning after the CRM to Alexandria to lead the war? I saw this same thing foreshadowed in 8x09 when they return to Alexandria and find out Carl’s been bitten.

In this case, they fight walkers rather than people (the CRM) so I don't know if that translates to the same thing, but the two of them being out there make other people want to join the fight. People come out of their respective hiding places and all of them fight the walkers together. And obviously, in the war against the CRM, everyone's going to have to work together.

I even wondered if these different little groups could represent different factions (Alexandria, Hilltop, the Kingdom, but also the people from Fear, the people from TWB, and anyone Beth might bring with her.) But I couldn't pin down who would be who. For example, if Carol, Eugene etc. represent the Commonwealth, that could be one group who comes out to help. Father Gabriel and the people who were in the church coming out to help could represent the people at Alexandria etc. You get the idea.

And of course while all this is going on, we had the super interesting symbolism of Daryl, driving the Paddy truck (Beth symbol), picking up several people which include Glenn, Enid, Sasha, Abraham (all Beth proxies) using gasoline (Beth symbol) and fire (Beth symbol) to set a body of water (Beth symbol) on fire (Bethyl symbol).

And it really goes along well with everything we've always said. I definitely think that the entire group is going to be fighting a big war and Beth isn’t by far going to be the only component. But something about her or maybe her and Daryl together come back with a key or a weapon that will help them win the war. If Daryl hadn't started that lake on fire, the walkers might have overwhelmed them all. It simply gave them the edge they needed to keep fighting and actually win.

And of course, in the sequence we see Daryl join the fight with two knives, including Beth's.

Okay, I'll stop there. Just a lot of food for thought, no?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

Text

804.

1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? >> The last time I was in a pool was probably over 5 years ago, at Easton Mountain. I’m not fond of the way pool water smells. 2. Do you like to party? >> I like gatherings, and get-togethers, and barbecues, and casual social events at someone’s house with food and booze and games. I don’t really care for anything more hectic than that. 3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? >> --- 4. Are you a virgin? >> No. 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? >> There could never be a relationship that my father would have approved of.

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? >> --- 7. Is your best friend dating anyone? >> --- 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? >> It’s black and has the design from the Endless Night Vampire Ball of 2019 on it. 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? >> Why would that bother me? 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? >> Of course, I do it all the time. 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? >> --- 12. Would people describe you as happy? >> I don’t know how people would describe me. It’s not like I make a habit of asking, and most people don’t make a habit of volunteering that information out of the blue. 13. Are you single? >> No. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? >> Eh, whatever. For some reason, romantic relationships are of the most pressing importance to a lot of people, and I’ve gotten used to it. 15. Do you have Tumblr? >> Heh. Wouldn’t you like to know.

16. What about Xanga? >> Damn.... RIP. 17. Have you ever babysat before? >> Nope. 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? >> Well, no, I’m not even in school. 19. Ever shopped at Sephora? >> Yeah, many times. 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do? >> The thing about having a spouse whomst you live with is that this kind of thing is way less likely to happen. 21. Do you have any university plans? >> No. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? >> --- 23. What are your views on sex? >> I don’t have “views” on sex. That’s such a broad question, lmao... 24. Do sexual questions bother you? >> Nah. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? >> Wh.................. 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding? >> Nah, I was never much into the idea of having a wedding. And then I had one, so you know. Life is like that. 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? >> I haven’t seen anyone type like that in almost a decade. The world has moved on. 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? >> --- 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? >> This is one of those situations that I just can’t at all imagine myself navigating. 30. What’s the last book you read? >> The last book I finished was The King in Yellow. That’s going to be my answer for a while, because the book I’m (re-)reading right now is fucking long. 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? >> Nope. 32. What is your last name? >> Hmm. 33. What grade are you in? >> I’m not in a grade. 34. What school do you go to? >> --- 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? >> Spring. 36. Favorite Color? >> Gold. 37. Are your parents together? >> No. 38. Any siblings? >> Not worth mention. 39. Favorite subject? >> I don’t have a favourite subject.

40. Least favorite subject? >> Or a least favourite subject. 41. Favorite song? >> People who can choose one favourite song are cryptids. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? >> Hopefully I can stop giving such simple answers, too. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? >> Thirteen. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? >> Nope. 45. Have you ever googled yourself? >> Yeah. It’d be a lot harder to google myself now, because I have a fictional character’s name. 46. Have a Formspring? >> Well, no, considering that site is defunct. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? >> Tell whoever it is to give the tickets to someone else? I’m completely uninterested in Justin Bieber. 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? >> Amusement park, if I must. 49. Been to Disney world? >> No. 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? >> No. 51. Ever had a boyfriend? >> Yes.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? >> I don’t know, maybe. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? >> No. 54. Ever drank alcohol? >> Certainly. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? >> Sure. 56. Ever watched The Hills? >> No. 57. What about Jersey Shore? >> No. 58. Ever called someone a slut? >> Not seriously. I’ve said it in a joking way to friends who appreciate that sort of banter. 59. What do you think of short shorts? >> I don’t want to wear them. 60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? >> Of course not. 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? >> Yes. 62. What about a B? >> Argh..... yes to all. NEXT 63. And a C? 64. How about a D? 65. Ever skived? >> I don’t know what that is. 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? >> These dynamics don’t really apply to adult life... well, not in my experience. Maybe if I had a more structured social life? 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? >> --- 68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? >> Nah. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? >> I don’t make any judgements about it. 70. Ever watched porn? >> Yep. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month? >> I don’t think I’ve broken any, considering I barely even go outside except to take walks. 72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? >> No. 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? >> All days of the week are pretty much interchangeable to me. 74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join? >> --- 75. Ever performed in a talent show? >> Probably. I don’t remember. 76. Have you ever cried in public? >> Yeah. I used to be homeless in a metropolis, privacy wasn’t something I had access to. Guess that might be part of why I’m so big on it now. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? >> --- 78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? >> Fuck no. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? >> *shrug* 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? >> *shrug* 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. >> Matthew McConaughey, Peter Mensah, Jeremy Irons, Denzel Washington, Oscar Isaac. 82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. >> Sandra Oh, Aisha Hinds, Normani Kordei, Gillian Anderson, Helen Mirren. 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity? >> Yeah, a couple of times. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? >> I only have one photo of myself on facebook. 85. Do you think spending ��20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? >> It’s not a waste of money for whoever buys it. That person just wouldn’t be me, I have no interest in lip gloss. 86. Are you opinionated? >> Not especially. 87. Do you have a favorite store? >> Nope. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? >> I did when I was younger, but I doubt I’d be into them now. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? >> No. I can’t really fit into any jeans that aren’t stretchy (and the stretchy ones are usually skinny jeans). 90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? >> Many times. 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? >> A couple of months, when I was in the psych ward. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? >> Yeah. I google almost anything I don’t understand, unless I just have zero interest in understanding. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? >> Why... would that bother me... 94. Own a pair of converse? >> Nope. I can’t wear any shoe without arch support. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? >> --- 96. If yes, are you one of them? >> --- 97. Do you text in class? >> --- 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? >> The only pairs of jeans I have are from Old Navy. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” >> I don’t know what sizes are plus-sized and I’m not interested in finding out right now. 100. Do you want to lose weight? >> Yes. 101. Ever seen a therapist? >> Yes. 102. Ever watched porn? >> This is a repeat question and I would delete it if the questions weren’t numbered. 103. Ever purposely ignored a text? >> Yeah. 104. A facebook message? >> Yeah. 105. A poke? >> God, when did they finally get rid of those? I haven’t heard about pokes in years. 106. A friend request? >> Yeah. 107. Would you say you read into things too much? >> I don’t know if I read into things too much or not. 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? >> --- 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) >> No. 110. Ever been called a bully? >> No. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? >> Many times. 112. Ever gone to church? >> Many times. I think I’ve gotten the gist of it by now. 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? >> One of them was certainly a screw-up in caring for their child... 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? >> Absolutely not, considering that’s the parent I was talking about in the previous question. 115. What do you want to do with your life? >> I don’t have any specific goals for my life. I’m pretty content just living it.

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? >> Yeah. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? >> I don’t know if I’m ever going to get to dress up for Halloween. We’ll see. 118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? >> I’ve never been and I am way too old for it now. 119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? >> Like 80% of the celebrities I named in those two questions about attractive celebrities are way older than me. 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus? >> Only when I don’t have my headphones with me, which is... just about never. I know I have sensory issues, so I come prepared. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? >> Fuck no. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? >> Yeah. 123. What’s the last movie you watched? >> The Lovebirds. 124. Last TV Show? >> Patriot Act. 125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? >> I can’t imagine this being bothersome to me. Or even significant, honestly. 126. Ever been called a whore? >> No. 127. Are you american? >> Yeah. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? >> Yeah. 129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend? >> Yeah. 130. Are you Cute or Gross? >> What...??? 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? >> It would bother me if that was a situation I’d ever find myself in. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like? >> --- 133. Ever had the lead in a play? >> Nope. 134. What about a solo in a concert? >> Nope. 135. What kind of a student are you? >> I��m not a student. 136. Worst subject? >> --- 137. Best subject? >> --- 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? >> Something like that. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? >> --- 140. How late do you sleep in? >> 9a seems to be my limit. 141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? >> --- 142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? >> This is so fucking rude. 143. Do you believe in love? >> Yawn. 144. Would you consider yourself a good student? >> --- 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” >> Not really, I usually just delete that question because, like... the survey-maker is definitely not going to see it, so what’s the point. 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy? >> Salty + sweet, spicy + sweet, spicy + salty, or any of them alone except for sweet. 147. Are you going into High School this year? >> Fuck no lmao 148. What about Junior High? >> Double fuck no lmao 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? >> I don’t know, man. That’s usually contextual, anyway. 150. Where did you find this note? >> I got this survey from another survey-taker on tumblr. 151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? >> Zero.

#surveys #survey #random survey #some surveys just don't need to be as long as they are #question quality is in the gutter

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babblingbat · 5 years

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Hey, it's a 10 questions thing! I was tagged by @thescreamingtwenties today and that's exciting!

Is there a trope you'll never get sick of?

I certainly fall prey to several tropes in my own writing! A broad term would be 'whump' but there are specific kinds that I adore reading (and, as a result, writing). Amnesia is at the top of this list. Even if there are no other injuries, I love the emotional pain of someone recognizing someone they care about without the other person knowing them. It's great. A non-whump thing is having parallels/opposites/pairs in terms of motifs and themes. Or just antithesis. A doctor connected to death (Cheshir) or a murderer who specializes in growing plants (Theronna). I could sustain myself for some time on that alone.

Is there anything you wish you could write but can't/won't?

I'm really bad at writing romance. Absolutely shit at it. I either write really good friends that could be dating if you squint and look at it upside-down or it's so disgustingly sweet that I've single-handedly given you 32 cavities and diabetes, which isn't even something I like to read.

Any writing rituals?

I tend to write in the dark, though this is mostly due to writing at night and not liking unnatural light (...other than my computer, I guess). I spend a lot of time leading up to actually writing a scene down by working and re-working it in my head, testing out different words and phrases until it feels great... and sometimes that even makes it onto paper!

How do you tackle writer's block?

By the aforementioned daydreaming, for one, but also just forcing myself to write other things. Rarely am I stuck on writing as a whole; usually I just can't see where one story is going in particular, so I focus on something else for a bit and then come back to it.

Do you stick to a WIP once you've come up with an idea, or do you constantly start and stop different projects?

I have a habit of working on several things at once, all in varying states of readability and completion, but I like to think I'm faithful to my main projects. I don't often abandon something accidentally, even if I stall on it; when I stop working on something, it's usually because I've deemed it irredeemable nuclear waste, and I'm trying to get clear of it. Still, working on one thing only is very difficult for me.

Is there a piece of work that has really impacted you, or that you'd recommend?

I've read so much that it's difficult to pin down anything on its own, but The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas was fantastic. I read it on a car ride out to a debate tournament with my team and we spent at least half an hour dissecting it through different values. It hasn't impacted how I write much, but it's still a great short story that I would certainly recommend to anyone willing to question how they evaluate morality or someone who likes to get into abstract discussions of such.

Are you more of a planner or a pantser?

It depends on what I'm working on. Often, I have a basic plot and I spend time with characters, but once I have the gist I jump in and muddle through. On the other hand, I went through a phase (about a year long) during which I meticulously planned every scene of each chapter individually and made a checklist for what I wanted to get done. It still went off track, but I was never at a lost for what to do next. I think, though, that my planning is as closer to "pantsing" and planning can be: a lot of it is just writing scenes with characters until I've got a good grasp on them.

How did you get into writing?

When I was younger, my parents and I would tell stories before I went to bed. We made up entire worlds and would tell new stories each night. When I was six, my dad self-published a book based on some of those stories and gave it to me. I know that I started writing complicated stories almost as soon as school had any assignments resembling writing, but I don't know when that started.

Do you prefer starting or ending a project?

Definitely ending them. It's so satisfying and I always know I can do more to improve them, so even when I finish something I feel like I'm in progress.

What's your favorite piece of worldbuilding that you've done?

Definitely Ba'elode! I made a language for FoCA which I love to expand whenever I can. I have a relatively basic grammar that I'm working on growing, and I have to think in new ways to create grammar rather than just learn it. I love language and codes, so making one and putting in my book is great! It also makes me think about the culture as a whole, because the language is, if you're inclined to phrase it this way, a symptom of the culture. It tells you about how people think. And I love that about language maybe more than anything.

Thanks for tagging me! I'm not often tagged in these and it was really fun. I'm going to tag @alchemist-rising , @brookswriting , and @writing-wanna . Here are my questions:

Is there anything that makes it impossible for you to write (like a noise or something)?

What kind of settings do you most enjoy writing in and why?

What are your pet peeves in writing and reading?

How many projects do you tend to work on at once?

Are there any recurring character types you see in your works? Have you ever thought about why they're there?

What is the most important thing to you when writing a story?

What is most challenging for you when outlining/beginning a story and how do you navigate it?

When/where do you write? How does this affect your writing?

When did you first know you wanted to write stories that other people would read?

Is there anything in particular that inspires you to write?

#super screams #mine #ten questions #tag game #tagged #I was tagged! by other people! who i don't know in real life!#this is an exciting shift in my life #writblr #about writing #writeblr

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death-burst · 5 years

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My thoughts about His Dark Materials

I’ve finished volume 3 last week, and I wanted to come back to the earlier discussion now that I have a fresh memory of the conclusion.

And ooh boy, I don’t like that conclusion, but not for the reasons mentioned by star-anise that started this discussion. I’ll start with my own criticism, and go back to that after.

[Obviously, SPOILER WARNING, proceed at your own risk.]

So, in the last 30 pages or so, we get:

a reiteration in even clearer terms of that “servants have dog daemons” point, that a daemon represents a person “true” nature. We already had a branch of the previous discussion on that topic, and we all agreed it was bad. Some where doubting that it was what Pullman actually meant, or whether it was only some unreliable narrator’s opinion. Well, for me there’s no doubt anymore. At least, there’s a vague suggestion that it isn’t definitely fixed and that people could, theoretically, change, they just choose not to, so you know, silver lining and all that....

Lyra coming into her prophesied role as the “new Eve” and somehow preventing all the Dust from exiting the universe through the huge gap in reality caused by the Church’s bomb, without any explanation of what made her special or even how it works at all, and without any real story need for that, since the (good) Angels would close it soon after anyway. It’s just that, looping back to the foreshadowed prophecy, only for the sake of meeting expectations, but I find that it actually weakens the story a lot.

a confirmation that Angels are dumb-asses, and have been so for the last 300 years. For real, if it was so important, why did they need to ask Will specifically, and not any of the previous knife holder, how to close the portals?

and not only are they dumb, they are also mean for no reason to the kids that JUST FRICKING SAVED THE UNIVERSE, no big deal. Seriously, I’m not opposed to bad/sad endings when they are credible, but this one, gosh, I’m so angry, there was probably a dozen workarounds to have a happy ending instead, based on the books own premises. Just to name a few:

They are closing dozens of portals that have stayed open for hundred of years, but really, the universe can only withstand A SINGLE portal, strict limit, I promise. No way you can keep two portals open, no way. Yeah, I don’t believe you...

OK, OK, let’s admit we can’t keep two portals open. But we can open the second one briefly every 5 years or so to visit each other’s world, right? No? It will create a specter? AND HOW IS THAT A PROBLEM EXACTLY?!! You just fricking dealt with thousands of specters that accumulated and grew over a couple centuries. One specter every five years is peanuts. Just send a couple Angels to get rid of it as soon as it is spawned, and voilà! Or a squad of volunteer ghosts. With the number of people dying over 5 years over the whole multiverse, I’m sure you’ll get more than enough volunteers. You bunch of ungrateful pricks, you owe this two kids at least that much, and probably a thousand times more.

And what about the “natural” portals, those not created by the knife that do not leak Dust? Oh, you will close them to make sure I don’t waste my life looking for them? WHAT THE HECK!! Alternate proposition: I promise I won’t look for them myself, YOU look for them, AS YOU INTENDED TO ANYWAY, and instead of closing them, you map them, and if you finally find a route from my world to hers, you come back and tell me? Yeah, you know, try to find a solution instead of squashing hope and all that? I think someone needs to read Pandora’s myth again, the importance of hope and all that...

(sorry for all the caps. i’m REALLY *that* angry)

Also, in the grand explanation of everything at the end, we get told that the big fight between “good” and “evil” is actually a fight between wisdom and ignorance, with a flat affirmation that half the universe, including all organized religions, was fighting on the side of ignorance, to keep people dumb. I’m more or less an atheist myself, and even me, I feel so offended by such a rash statement. That’s such a narrow understanding of the origin and role of religion, how can you write a whole three books about it and come to such a broad and coarse conclusion? Get some nuance, dammit.

..... Probably the worst ending I’ve read to a series that I enjoyed.

Because yes, I enjoyed most of the series, it’s just the conclusion that is so awfully terrible, but the vast majority of the story is interesting and entertaining.

Despite all that, I still disagree with star-anise original post, at least as far as the books are concerned (she was watching the recent TV series). For reference, it’s here: https://star-anise.tumblr.com/post/190192181909/im-trying-to-watch-his-dark-materials-but

If I understood the gist of her argument correctly, she’s annoyed by Dust’s sudden change of behavior during adolescence, the claim "that puberty is the most pivotal time for a child developmentally”, to quote a later post in the thread. But in my interpretation, the books are NOT claiming that. I don’t know what the TV series did with that topic, but numerous points in the books point to a more continuous transition:

Lyra is always able to interact with Dust, through the alethiometer or Dr. Malone’s devices, even before she meets Will and fall in love or has sex.

The kids become gradually more aware of the Specters, it’s not a sudden shift. And they become fully vulnerable to them before their Daemons take a fixed form, showing that even before that they already have accumulated a lot of Dust.

There are various remarks that Dust accumulates slowly overtime. It says that young children have very little Dust (compared to adult), but not none at all. And it also says that old and wise persons have much more Dust than the average adult, evidence that Dust keeps accumulating over the whole life, it’s not just one change happening at puberty and/or with the discovery of sex/love.

Daemons do go through a sudden change of behavior at puberty, but a) it doesn’t seem related to Dust directly, and b) it’s implied they can still change, they just don’t want to. This sudden change is not “encoded into the physics of the universe”, it’s just a statistical trend, not an absolute truth.

On the other hand, supporting star-anise argument, there is one such change, but it’s about the mulefa, not the humans, so I’m not really sure what to make of it. The mulefa physically cannot accumulate Dust unless/until they absorb oil from the wheel trees, and so their youngsters do get through an abrupt transition when they get big enough to start using wheels, which is the closest equivalent for them of puberty. But once again, no link with love or sex.

At no point whatsoever is Dust presented as related to Sin, except by Miss Coulter and Lyra’s world’s Church, which are obviously bad guys and misguided.

So personally, I don’t fault the books on that topic, and I find that they present, on that topic specifically, a nuanced and interesting take. I think a more legitimate criticism in that direction is about the “special nature” of humans compared to animals, as if humans aren’t just another kind of animal, as if animals are not conscious at all. They are, and we should respect that more, and treat animals with more compassion in general. Animals should attract Dust too, even if at a slower rate.

(Also, I’m still annoyed by that “Daemon as true nature” bit...)

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shiinonomee · 5 years

Text

Time of Rest

Behind four (three and a half?) walls, it’s easier to relax. A little easier...

Word Count: ~2,500

OC centric, Third POV, Code Vein Fic

Rhodey may not have any concrete memory about the specifics of her own life, but concepts she remembers just fine.

She remembers churches, for example. And churches don’t normally house bars and hot springs. The one Louis leads them to after a harrowing fight with what used to be Oliver Collins does, though—along with several other seemingly out of place additions.

She can see a jukebox along the far wall, surrounded by candy machines and posters. There’s a board covered in research, pictures and maps and red yarn connecting one thing to another. There’s a big safe in the wall, too, set up as a kind of weapons shop. All corners of the place seem to be dedicated to something else—one place seems to be a mini library, while another is a common area, and another seems to be dedicated to mostly trading. Louis shows them around briefly, explaining what it is they do here.

“We needed someplace to act as a sort of headquarters for our blood spring research. It used to be a lot more run down, but thanks to Yakumo it’s much more livable than when we first got here.”

It doesn’t take long for everyone to notice the newcomers. They gather as if sensing the coming announcement.

“Taking in more strays, eh?” Says one woman with a husky voice. She puts a hand on one cocked hip. She has short blonde hair and sharp-looking eyes, like there is nothing they could hide from her. Still, she doesn’t seem unfriendly. “Should’ve known it was only a matter of time.”

“This is Rhodey, and her friend Io. They’re former thralls, but I think they’ll be invaluable to our research efforts. Please, make them welcome.” Louis smiles almost bashfully, as if this was a thing she called him out for often.

“You sure this is a good idea?” Asks a tall, broad man with deep red hair. Piercing green eyes settle on Rhodey’s calculatingly, and she can feel her heartbeat stutter uncertainly. “No offense, but you’re the trusting sort, Louis. It’s gotten you into trouble before.”

“Well, then it’s a good thing we have you around, Yakumo.” Louis replies without missing a beat, unruffled. He offers a wry smile, and Yakumo smirks relentingly.

“Ooh! What a gorgeous piece of work!” A girl much shorter than Rhodey flits over to her, eyes sparkling brightly as she gazes at the golden rapier. Her sudden arrival startles both Rhodey and Io considerably. “And that Bloodveil, too! Where’d you get your hands on those?!”

“U-uh...I...I don’t really...well, remember...”

“Don’t mind Murasame, she’s supernaturally friendly.” The blonde woman speaks up, again. “Call me, Coco. I’m a merchant by trade; you two let me know if there’s anything you need to get your hands on, I’m sure we could strike up a deal.”

Io nods obediently without saying anything, too busy gazing around at the building to respond beyond that.

“This place feels...” She starts, leaning closer to Rhodey as she speaks in that soft voice of hers, “warm. Vibrant, somehow...”

“I hope you end up liking it here. If you’d like, I’m sure Murasame and Coco would help set you up in a room.” Louis glances at the small, orange-haired girl called Murasame, who perks up excitedly and nods before taking Io by the arm and leading her away. Curious, and none too worried, Io follows along.

Rhodey visibly tenses for a moment, but Io seems in no danger with these people. She forces herself to relax.

“Rhodey, if I could talk to you, for a moment? There are still a few things to discuss before you make a final decision—I’d feel better if you had all the information, first.”

She turns to Louis, and Yakumo who has moved to stand a ways behind him. They’re close, she can tell—and maybe he feels as protective of Louis as she feels of Io. She can respect that.

“I’m all ears.” She agrees with a smile and a nod.

“This way,” he motions with his head towards the living area, behind which lies the fruit of all his research so far—the boards and maps. They turn and lead her in that direction—past the makeshift balcony where the wall is completely missing and you can see the sky for miles. Louis notices her staring out and smiles almost fondly. “Quite the view.” He says, and she nods, still awestruck.

“People have taken to calling it all the Gaol Of The Mists. No living thing can pass through the border. Ever since the Queen was defeated, that mist has kept us all confined to this place, cut off from the outside world.” Yakumo explains, still watching her closely. She turns to face him still looking a little dazed from the thought of it all. Even when she can’t see it—the bright red haze in the distance that cut through the horizon like giant caution tape is stuck in her mind.

“The Queen...” She murmurs absently.

“You don’t remember?”

She shakes her head, the few hairs that have escaped her tight ponytail swaying before her eyes.

“She told me that both her and Io’s memories are essentially wiped clean. When they woke, Rhodey was near frenzy before Io led her to a nearby blood spring.” Louis explains to him.

“Lucky thing, that.” He crosses his arms over his chest, raising a brow. Rhodey offers a bashful smile.

“I’ll, uh, be more careful in the future.”

“Hope so, for your sake.”

His intensity makes her want to gulp, so she lowers her gaze a bit before looking back at Louis. “Sorry, I got distracted.”

“It’s no trouble, at all, I’m happy to answer any questions you have. It can’t be easy...”

“I try not to think about it.” She chuckles weakly, adding, “at least until I realize that with no memory there really isn’t much else to think about. No thoughts, head empty.” She knocks her knuckles lightly against her scalp a few times with a bright smile. The other two exchange amused glances before continuing on to the research board.

“Wow,” She hums, awestruck yet again, if by something else this time, “you have a lot here, already.”

“You know the gist of what blood springs are, yes?” Louis asks her, and her face lights up as she nods enthusiastically. Finally, something she does know; albeit because someone beat him to explaining it.

“Yeah! Other than humans, they’re the only source of anything bloodlike for revenants to drink. The lost have ichor, but drinking that only speeds bloodlust along, which is why it needs to be filtered through the purifier masks.”

Louis smiles wide like a proud teacher. “That’s right. So far, we’ve discovered that all blood springs have tubes running underground—like capillaries. We call these blood veins.” He crosses his arms. “Blood’s become scarce these days; in the time after the Queen was defeated the government began housing all the humans, and many of the blood springs ran dry. The levy system helped for a time, but even that couldn’t last forever. Now, more revenants than ever are starving...losing themselves to bloodlust. Even the ones who aren’t lost yet are likely to turn to violence if they think you have something of value on you.”

“But you think if you find out where these blood veins are going...”

Yakumo nods, “We’ll find the source; maybe figure out how to end this drought.”

“And given what you can do, we should have an easier time tracking the blood veins. We won’t have to rely on luck leading us to a blood spring that hasn’t dried up yet.”

Yakumo tilts his head. “Oh? What’s this special talent I’m just now hearing about?”

Louis turns to face him a little more. He looks almost startled at the fact that he hadn’t brought it up, yet. “I scarcely believed it myself. I was heading over to greet her in the caves earlier today when I saw her activate a mistle with a few drops of her own blood. I’d only ever seen it happen with the medicine made from the Queen’s blood, before. And then just a little while later she brought a blood spring to bloom the same way.”

Yakumo’s eyes blow wide as he turns back to Rhodey. “Well, I’ll be damned...”

She flushes. “It really is that strange, huh?”

Louis chuckles. “I told you.”

“I see why you want her to tag along a little more, now. To have blood that can do something like that...”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Louis snaps the fingers of one hand, eyes alight with an idea. “I meant to ask—would you mind giving me a sample of your blood? There’s a theory I want to test. If I’m right, you’ll get quite a bit out of it.”

“Oh?” Rhodey says, taken aback.

“Don’t worry, it won’t be a lot, so you won’t have to worry about bloodlust.”

“I...suppose if it’ll help.”

“Perfect! Come with me.”

—————

After he’s taken a sample—she tries not to flinch too much at the needle—he leaves her to get comfortable in the room that would be hers from now on. She’d figured after giving them her blood things were pretty much a done deal—she and Io would be staying. It’s not like a better option would just come knocking, anyway.

Besides, Louis is nice. She’s had a chance to speak with some of the others, as well and they’ve all been kind to her. Murasame made it very clear that it would be to her immense pleasure to work on her gear whenever she needed a tune-up. Coco had let her peruse some of her stock.

She’s spoken to a large man in a white uniform called Davis, who works for Cerberus—the provisional government—about the depths and what she could expect if she were ever to go exploring down there.

Yakumo has mostly kept to himself after the talk with Louis. She could tell he was keeping an eye on her the whole time she’d been wandering. It didn’t surprise, though—he was built like a brick house and dressed in fatigues; definitely the muscle of the place. He’d probably defended against threats to the group before. She’d even noticed the gun he has strapped under his arm.

He’s been the most closed-off out of all of them, though—not outright unfriendly, but definitely cautious—it is natural that she be curious about the one she knows least. That’s what she tells herself, anyway.

“I should check on Io...” she mutters to herself aloud. The girl is endearingly spacey, but it makes her worry all the more about her. Io is the one reason Rhodey hadn’t joined the ranks of the Lost—her gratitude alone would have been enough to make her care for her, but something else pulled them together like a magnet--she could feel it in her chest.

Maybe they’d known each other before. Maybe one day they’d remember.

Rhodey stands from her place on the bed and exits the room. Io, for some reason, had decided that she wanted her place of rest to be near the congregation of couches in the living area, right next to the balcony—despite at least one other room besides Rhodey’s being free. Perhaps she enjoyed the draft.

Rhodey finds her there, seated on the edge of her bed, surrounded by the glow of candlelight. She’s gazing down at the bandages on her leg.

“What happened?” Rhodey gasps.

“I was injured by the Lost before you arrived. Coco helped me dress the wound.” She speaks with that same dreamy quality she had since they first met, completely unbothered. “It feels fine now.”

Rhodey wants to ask more, but she stops herself. She doesn’t want to hover too much and overwhelm poor Io. Instead, she glances around. “So what do you think of this place? Are they treating you alright?”

“They ask me many questions I have no answers to.” She replies. “But...I am glad we are staying. They are good people, I think.”

“I think so, too.” Rhodey glances over to Murasame’s workplace, where the girl is still fawning over the equipment she’d surrendered—having no need for it here. She’d promised her a better mask, too—newer model, more durable and efficient and easier to breathe in.

First upgrades are on the house. She’d said, waving off any attempt to try and pay her for her trouble. Really, it’s nice to have some new weapons to work with. Such nice ones, too! You’re doing me the favor, here.

She’d practically squealed as she got to work.

“Maybe a little strange, though.” She sees Io’s faint smile at this and grins back. “I guess we aren’t ones to talk.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a tall form take a place at the bar. She turns to watch as Yakumo gathers up the scattered deck of cards there and begins shuffling them absently as if just giving his hands something to do.

“Maybe I should go make nice...” She ponders aloud. Io glances over.

“He watches over them all so diligently...” She notes. “It would be good if he trusted us.”

“I’ll assume that means you agree, then.” Rhodey laughs softly. “Rest up, Io. It’s been a while for you, hasn’t it?” With a quiet agreement, Io decides to curl up on her side as Rhodey strides confidently over to the seat beside where Yakumo sits. He watches from the corner of his eye as she slides in beside him, and she wonders if his lips are really quirked up at the corner—it’s too faint for her to be sure.

“Room for one more?”

“Depends. You play?” He holds up the deck of cards in his hands briefly before shuffling again.

“...I think I remember how to play war...” She offers slowly, bearing teeth in a smile that’s almost apologetic. He snorts, eyes mirthful. “Oh! Go Fish might be coming back to me, too, now that I think about it.”

That one earns her a real laugh.

“Go Fish, I can get behind.” He says and starts dealing.

“Right on!” She exclaims, pumping her fists in victory. “You’re about to be demolished.”

“You say that, now,” He shrugs, cocky grin in place, “but I’m about to reel in this win.” It’s her turn to snort.

“A dollar for the bad joke jar...” She shakes her head, sending her ponytail flailing. She feels a light, playful kick against her shin.

Several games in and Louis finally emerges with the results of the impromptu blood test. He seems endlessly amused at the sight of his very smug best friend leaning cockily back in his barstool as Rhodey weeps animatedly over yet another loss.

“Seems like you two are bonding, alright. To think that I was actually worried.”

“Bonding?” Rhodey peers from the nest she’s made of her crossed arms on the bar top. “He was just in the midst of actively declaring war on my entire bloodline. This betrayal will not go unpunished. His grandchildren’s grandchildren will fear me.”

“Eh, I suppose we can keep her around; she makes me look good at cards, at least.”

“If you keep bullying her, she won’t want to stay.” Louis chuckles. Yakumo thinks for a moment before reaching over to pat the top of Rhodey’s head.

“There, there. You just need to train—I’ll be waiting on that rematch; so stick around, okay?” She makes a show of sniffling and pouting.

“I suppose...”

“Ah, good—then I can assume you’re ready to hear about my findings?” Louis asks with a smile.

She sits up, looking curious. “Hit me, doc.”

Louis nods, ready to get down to business.

#code vein #oc ; rhodey #fic ; carrier of the blood

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