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cloud-based-and-rainpilled · 1 year

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I just finished Staged 1!! My reactionz (apologies for wall-of-text; I cannae “read more” on mobile);

(tl;dr at the end)

Props for getting me to not despise a Zoom show on sight. Uses the medium really well despite it being, you know, a remnant of the world fuckin ending

Very Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead, like the patter/volley, lotta chemistry (goes without saying)

David Tennant using Frost/Nixon as an example to explain who Michael Sheen is to Samuel L. Jackson makes me feel so seen. Maybe it’s an American thing idk

Nina, my beloved… serving cunt as the day is long. Rip to her beleaguered assistant lmao

The celeb cameos weren’t annoying !

Bordered on naval gaze-y but self aware enough (meta!) to skirt the line well

Simon’s sister rules lmao

The exterior shots showing empty Englandland were beautiful and captured a (shitty) moment in time very effectively. And sheep! Pastoral VS city, good stuff

Who the fuck is Michael Sheen?!

I wish David writing the play came up earlier, structurally it felt kinda thrown in the last two episodes, but they’re short so it’s a lot to put in

Michael crying over the old lady possibly dying 🥺 Best unseen character uwu

Welsh is a horrifically ugly language but I appreciate their commitment to the bit

Best ep by far was the 3rd (I think?) one revolving around lying. Fantastically written and all around a tight episode

He is in the naughty corner!!

I’m ignorant af whooooooo is the black actory guy in the 5th (I think?) episode who goes on a run to deal with stress and reads Ulysses twice? Love him. I will follow him into the dark

The Ulysses bit is very haha Bri’ish

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Reference !!!!

The credits gag is *chef’s kiss*

I… don’t like the music. It feels very Kevin Macleod student film stock piano sorry

Also could be my hearing issues but I just couldn’t hear sometimes, at least with the wide shots. Maybe there are subtitles but I wouldn’t know since I watched it completely legally uwu

Editing with fade-to-black annoyed me at first since that’s not how Zoom works but it won me over, very effective theater-y choice. Elevates it a lot along with the way the Brady Bunch boxes move

David and Georgia’s dynamic is adorable and they play well off each other. Not sure if I’ve seen Georgia in anything before (statistically speaking she was prob in Doctor Who lmao) but I really like her as an actress! Very charming

Anna’s not in it as much so can’t say for her acting ability but she was fine idk. She has zero chemistry with David and Georgia but her and Michael seem to have a little bit, just not nearly on the same level as the Tennants. It’s “meta” so not quite sure what that implies irl but her awkwardly leaving Georgia on read was very funny

Idk who Simon is but he’s a good actor! More of a writer? Self effacing and fun

D̵̨̜̓̽͆͘Ḁ̴̪̻̘̗̮̀͛̈̊̅͆ͅM̷̭̒͛̓̔̐͛̉̂̈́̔͘Ë̷̲́̿̅̀̐̆̇̅͋̓̋͂̉ ̴̟̖͉̳͖͕̫̑̌́͂̀͑͐̽̈́̃̃J̶̨̤̞̰̙̻̯͍͖̯̠̝̥̤̿͐̄̂̈̅̎̃̌͊͊̓͠Û̶̢͍͔̱̦̩̬̦͙͖̓̿͘D̶͇̭́̋̓̆͆̋̋͘I̶̞̳͕͖͗̓̓͑̐͆͊͋̂̚͠͝ ̴̧̨͎͖̲̳̼̎̈́̋̐͘Ḑ̸̲̖̟̲͓̝̠͍̤͛͆͐͘E̷̛̻̥͙̯͂͌̌̈͂̒Ņ̷̛̭̦̗͔̝͙̖̆̀̆̌̚ͅC̴̢̬͉͈̉͐̃̀̋̓̓̓̀̚H̵̡̠͕͚̹͑͂̃̉̐̈̾̍̕͠

In the same vein, the button of the cookie jar acting game— yes. All yes

Once again hammering the meta theme but it is interesting to see how David & Michael’s chemistry really does get stronger as the episodes go on. I’m assuming it was filmed in order so a lot of it is the awkwardness of acting on Zoom I think since they had better chemistry in Good Omens 1 imo. They said they became closer friends through it and it shows

Also feels less ‘actor-y’/more comfortable between them as it goes on, which I get is scripted but you can tell the difference, like when a sitcom cast for many years either starts hating each other at the end or becomes inseparable

tl;dr Overall it’s quite cute! Well written, easy watch, lotta subtle funny moments and back and forths. Interesting to see something that feels like a play as a Zoom TV show, it’s unique. Everyone is having a good time and likes each other and it shows. Not sure I’d come back for a rewatch if not for it (apparently) becoming a lot more meta as it goes on and then whiplashing from funnier in season 2 to major bummer in season 3.

It’s fascinating to see a friendship develop in real time, and even aside from that, it’s written and edited concisely. Based on .gifs I’ve seen it looks like season 2 has a lot more of the iconic/memorable moments. Don’t really see the “love story” aspect yet but I guess that comes in time. (And arguing! I’m excited for arguing. Actors love that shit.)

Started season 2 with episode 1 and already like it more with how meta (this no longer sounds like a word) it’s getting. Cool concept and I’m glad it exists

#my tl;dr is so long lmao sorry #using it as an excuse to go to the gym #i will watch ofmd soon tho! once i’ve finished this #bless those who sail the high seas #staged #bbc staged #staged 1 #michael sheen #david tennant #georgia tennant #simon evans #also yes they’re both very attractive i’m just embarrassed to not shove it in the tags because i’m a nerd #also georgia is very pretty and has eyes like a furby #samuel l jackson #lucy eaton <- damn no tag sorry girl

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butternutrisotto · 13 days

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18/30

There is one movie that drastically changed my life: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Since I was a child, I loved watching this movie during school holidays. I was captivated by the storyline, but what made me happiest was watching Kevin McCallister explore New York City in the winter. From that moment, I asked myself, "New York is so beautiful. How can I go there?" Everyone told me that New York was far from Surabaya or anywhere in Indonesia. But deep down, I really wanted to go there.

After that, I became diligent in learning English, practicing English grammars or vocabs, and seeking out any opportunities that could help me get to New York, like competitions, student exchanges, and excelling in my studies. However, all I faced were failures that made me sad. But I realized that I was still not ready enough and that my capacity was not yet at the level needed. But that's okay—I kept striving and learning.

From that movie, despite the many setbacks I faced, it became clear that the universe truly hears your prayers and sees all your efforts. I got the chance to study in the United States in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia. I was very grateful, even though the journey was not easy. I was still able to fulfill my childhood dream. With all the effort I put in, I finally celebrated my 21st birthday in New York City during winter, and I was able to explore the city like Kevin McCallister—except I wasn’t with The Bandits, haha. :))

From this experience, I learned to never doubt your dreams. Even if they haven’t come true yet, God and the universe know what you need, how much capacity you have to reach your dreams, and the best time to grant them to you. The bigger your dream, keep walking with God even when the challenges are tough. But behind it all, it will be worth it.

The journey to New York wasn't just about reaching a destination; it was a lesson in perseverance, resilience, and self-discovery. Every failure and every setback taught me something new about myself and what I was capable of. The rejections I faced only strengthened my resolve, teaching me that dreams require more than just desire—they demand commitment, patience, and sometimes, a lot of waiting. I realized that each “no” was not a door closing, but a sign pointing me toward another direction, another opportunity, and another chance to grow.

Walking through the streets of New York on my 21st birthday, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I wasn't just celebrating a milestone of age, but a milestone of persistence and belief. Seeing the lights of Times Square, the majestic skyscrapers, and the snowy parks was like stepping into a scene from my favorite movie. But this time, it was real, and it was my story. It was a moment that affirmed all the hard work, tears, and hopes I had carried with me over the years.

This journey has taught me that dreams do come true, but not always in the way or the time we expect. It’s easy to become discouraged when things don’t go according to our plans, but sometimes, the detours are where we find the most growth. So, to anyone out there chasing a dream, remember: don’t give up. Even if the path is winding and filled with obstacles, keep going. Trust the timing of your life and keep faith in the journey. Your New York moment—whatever that may be—might be closer than you think.

#30 day challenge #writing journal #thoughts

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pynkhues · 3 years

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Ooo can you rank your least fav and fav good girl characters? Pls 💕

My least fave to faves of the main ensemble? Sure! I feel like doing all the characters would take forever, haha, but! In reverse order:

6. Dean Boland

I mean, no surprises here, right? I actually still really appreciate Dean as a character and think he's pivotal to the story Good Girls wanted to tell, and I love Matthew, but Dean is also The Worst™ and should go down as the lesser half of one of the most toxic marriages in TV history, haha.

5. Stan Hill

Interestingly, I actually think Stan is probably the character who had the most complicated growth across the four seasons. It wasn't always the most nuanced growth, but I think the show really did try to balance a sort of erosion with him where a character who started off as pretty naive and inherently good went through phases of cynicism and ugliness, selfishness and misbehaviour while also at his core being someone who was still empathetic and kind. He was just navigating a new world, and trying to reconcile who his family was with who he wanted them to be, and while I didn't always like the direction, I thought it was always compelling.

4. Rio

I really do love Rio as a character. I think the show did a lot of work to round him out across the four seasons, and that Manny really built off of that to create a bold, complex, charismatic character that was a key ingredient to the range of dynamics within the show. At his best, he made for absolute TV magic, and there's a reason he's one-half of one of my favourite ships of all time, haha.

3. Annie Marks

Annie's a total disaster and Mae's one of TV's best cryers and look, I love her a lot. She drove me insane half the time, but what I love about Annie is that for a character who's so depicted as snarky and cynical, she's also so full of hope and love and kindness. I think she grounded some of the most emotional scenes of the show, and that wouldn't be possible without the nuance of her character and Mae's stellar performance. I just wish the show had really commit to the EMT storyline, because if they had done that instead of the Kevin storyline, I think her arc would've been close to perfect.

2. Ruby Hill

I genuinely think Ruby's probably one of my favourite TV characters of all time. She's not a ruthless survivor like Beth is, rather she's a stalwart fighter, something we don't often see in shows like this. Ruby's not the one running forwards into the fray, but she's the one holding her ground, determined and focused, and she's the one who inches forwards when she gets the chance, dragging the people she loves behind her. A lot of my favourite scenes in this show belong to Ruby ("I'm that bitch" in 2.01 is probably one of my most re-watched scenes of the entire series, haha) and I especially love Ruby for being such an absolute showcase of Retta's talents. She really can do it all.

1. Beth Boland

What can I say about Beth that I haven't said a million times before? She means a lot to me, and I love every complicated, messy, fucked up inch of her. I miss her terribly.

#beth boland #ruby hill #annie marks #rio #stan hill #dean boland #nbc good girls #welcome to my ama

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nikkoliferous · 4 years

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Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram:

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all.

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy

Just wanna remind everyone that this

is why he’s smiling during this scene

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring.

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger

Honestly, though, big mood.

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway.

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather.

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is.

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess…

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD.

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit.

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

#phase one: thor #loki meta #thor meta #odin's a+ parenting #frigga's b+ parenting #topic: thor and loki's broken relationship #loki #thor #heimdall #lady sif #the warriors 3 #jane foster #ragnarok cinematic universe #mcu #topic: asgardian hypocrisy #topic: asgardian militarism #topic: odin's family dynamic

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complexhaystack · 3 years

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Random thoughts about FATWS 1.05:

- Isaiah Bradley's story is heartbreaking and also tragically not new :( It's a terribly sad juxtaposition to what Steve could do and get away with because, race. But I'm glad we got to listen to that conversation with Sam, and how that reinforced Sam's decision to move forward in the current era.

- Sam is such a good counsellor... How he interacted with Karli in 1.04 and how he helped Bucky realise how his inner peace could be achieved was amazing :)

- Bucky smiling peacefully in the Wilsons' neighbourhood :')

- Bucky flirting with Sarah and annoying Sam

- Bucky easily doing great repair work ambidextrously and annoying Sam

- #justacoupleofguys

- Sam's training matched with Henry Jackman's Louisiana Hero soundtrack was awesome

- I like how we see that Bucky's projections on Sam's action to give away the shield is resolved in this episode... And that he apologised for not seeing Sam's difficulties as a white man. Surely he was still pretty pissed at the beginning when he dropped the shield next to Sam after the fight with Walker

- THE FIGHT WITH WALKER O_O

- Walker is truly a man with a fragile ego and pride. How dare he lie to Lemar's family even! (But kudos to Wyatt Russell for portraying him so intensely!)

- I just can't help but wonder how many times Sebastian Stan and Daniel Bruhl might have broken out into laughter at the memorial (considering how chaotic Bruhl is irl HAHA)

- The gun scene was quite meaningful I think - it seemed to be Bucky's way of telling Zemo 'I am a super soldier and I was programmed, but I am no longer a killer'

- Ayo called Bucky White Wolf again yay!

- Sam is truly the right successor to Steve :') In spirit, character and just sheer commitment to doing good. (As much as I love Bucky, let the 106 year old man rest)

- Who the heck are Valentina and Batroc *googles* (OK clearly I haven't been tracking very well. He's the dude who got defeated at the beginning of CATWS AND FATWS hahaha) (and Agents of SHIELD connections, really? Wow)

- Also, at some point in time probably anyone who is someone in Hollywood will be in the MCU hahaha

- More googling has made me realise Torres is likely to be the next Falcon!

- When will they tell us what happened to old!Steve and why the heck he abandoned Bucky Barnes

- Bucky getting the Wakandans must mean he has their phone number or something

- Do the Wakandans have every Avenger's fingerprints (considering how Sam opened the briefcase) - and is that his Cap suit?!?!?!

I admit I found the pacing in this episode and 1.02 a bit strange but I am still loving the show dearly. Gotta rewatch all of it at some point!

Please let FATWS have a second season Kevin Feige!!! Also please release all the bloopers and BTS... These chaotic four dudes (including Bruhl and Russell) must have had a lot of hilarious times on set!!

#fatws #fatws spoilers #bucky barnes #sam wilson #john walker

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fanficparker · 4 years

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You are Everything! | H.O.

Friends!Harrison Osterfield x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1.8k words

A/N: @lost-aesthetic-of-past and I wrote it together during a reblog chain (haha)

Warnings: Angst but it’s cute. Swearing.

Summary: Harrison decided to cut you off from his life after you had friend-zoned him. But did you actually? Or was there something else?

[ MASTERLIST ]

"Green is not really a good colour on you, ya' know?" Greg said quietly, standing beside Harrison at the pub, looking at the scene unfolding in front of them.

"I'm not jealous," Harrison scowled, turning to look at anything but what was in front of him.

It was basically nothing. Just the girl he has been in love with for years being flirted by another guy. The guy was nice, one of his own acquaintances. But at the moment, he had started to hate him.

"Mate come' on, let's get going." Greg tried to pull Harrison away, possibly because he could sense the blonde nearing his explosion point.

"Yes, give me a second before that!" He finished his drink and walked straight towards you and the guy who was shamelessly flirting with you.

"...And I said, sorry, but I can't talk right now because I'm queening," Kevin said with a laugh, making you laugh in response. You had just met the guy but he was funny, and kind of cute. You were very much looking forward to getting his number and getting to know him more, but just then, Harrison approached you two.

"Hey, Harrison, whats'up?" Kevin greets. You had no idea that Kevin and Harrison knew each other. Harrison however, all but ignores Kevin and turns to you.

"We need to talk." He said before walking out expecting you to follow him.

What did he want to talk about?

You passed Kevin an apologetic smile and rushed after Harrison. He was waiting for you outside the pub.

"Why did you call me out so abruptly?" You questioned, standing in front of him.

"Do you have any idea how Kevin was relentlessly flirting with you?!" Harrison whisper-yelled, motioning with his hands while looking sideways, afraid if Kevin could hear him. You squeezed your eyes at his words.

"I... ah... Know already?" You replied, quirking an eyebrow. Harrison's loose posture instantly jerks into a stiff one as he took a step back.

"You know?" The surprise in his voice was evident.

"Yup. I mean that's exactly... That was exactly the purpose." You admitted, biting at your lower lip.

"What... You..." He sucked in a breath, not believing your words. His stomach was dropping, his heart was shattering.

"Yeah. I-I mean he seems like a good guy. Also, I don't wanna remain single forever," You tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear while Harrison clenched his fist, trying his best to not look hurt.

And he thought, he had a chance with you.

"I need to go Haz. He must be waiting, see you in a few minutes," You said and then leaned in, pecked his cheek and walked inside.

He knew what the kiss meant.

It was the friend-zone kiss. You knew about Harrison's feelings and you had just smoothly rejected him.

He was so screwed.

***

"Haz it's been 3 days just, pick up the damn phone! I'm worried!" It was probably the seventh call this morning and he was still not picking up his phone.

That night and that interaction with Harrison outside the pub left you perplexed. He didn't come back inside after the conversation. He simply left, without even informing you. You literally spent a good twenty minutes trying to find him in the crowd when Greg called him over the phone and informed you that he was home already.

And since then, you tried to call him, but he wouldn't pick up. You even tried to call Greg, but he said that you needed to fix this up with Harrison yourself.

What does that even mean?

How were you going to fix this up if you didn't know what you did wrong?

For years you have pined for that guy but kept your feelings at bay because of your damn insecurities. And now that you were ready to date another guy, someone who was within 'your League', Harrison had started acting weird. Absolutely absurd.

Was it because he liked you? Before you could even begin to explore this impossible avenue, the phone rang again.

You rushed to pick it up, thinking it was him, only to find out that it was Tom.

"Hey!" You couldn't help your voice from shaking a little, "Have you heard from Haz?"

"Yeah... I talked to him." The calmness in Tom's voice sounded unnatural, it had a cold undertone to it. "He asked me to tell you to not call him anymore."

"What?!" You were barely keeping yourself from crying at this point, "J-just, tell me what I did? Please."

Tom sighed on the other side, "Okay... Meet me at the usual coffee shop, in thirty-minutes." And with that, he hung up.

You couldn't even begin to imagine what heinous crimes you committed against Harrison that he had to cut you out of his life in the blue? But if he was going to do it, you hoped he did it face to face, and not through your mutual friends. This was worse.

***

"Did you go out with Kevin yet?" Tom asked sitting across from you.

"That's not what I came here to discuss." You told him. You were tapping your foot restlessly. You were here to know about Harrison, not talk about Kevin.

"I am just asking." He rolled his eyes and you scoffed at his reaction.

"Fine. I didn't. He was bothering me with talking about his..." You made a face, "savage moments all the time!"

"So, it didn't work out?"

"That's what I said. Now can we please talk about Harrison?"

"Yeah right. So... Harrison... is kinda mad at you."

"I figured that out myself," You rolled your eyes this time, "Tell me something new."

"Y/n come' on you friend-zoned him and now he can't even be mad?"

"Friend-zoned him? We are already friends!" You panicked through your words.

"Oh my god! Why are girls so dumb!"

"That's sexist..." You scrunched up your face in disgust.

There was no way Harrison could have fallen for you.

He sighed, "That guy is head over heels for you and you don't even notice."

"What no–"

"That's the truth." He interrupted your sentence, shrugging his shoulders.

"No... It can't be..."

"It is Y/n. Why are you denying it so much? He told this to me himself."

"I... I... "

Tom stopped your stuttering by keeping his hand over yours.

"If there's something, you can tell me." He smiled at you in a reassuring manner.

"No Tom... No. You can't understand." You stood up jerking away his hand.

"If you won't tell then how would I?"

"I can't..." You tried to hold back the tears forming in your eyes, "It's... it's embarrassing."

He didn't force you after that (seeing it was the best thing to do) and you left.

How can he understand?

How can people like him and Harrison ever understand?

Harrison is surrounded by models all day. He must be getting laid all the time. Girls throw themselves at him. And you... You were just a plain girl. He can easily trade you with them. They were so much better.

And now you had lost him as a friend too...

***

"Hey, Haz..." This was probably the last time you were going to call him anyway, so, you decided to make it worthwhile.

"You are probably not going to listen to this message. And I don't blame you. But the truth is.. I don't have anyone else to talk about this," You tried to keep your voice even, "And I swear after this if you don't want to stay in touch, I promise I won't bother you."

It had been a few hours until your meeting with Tom. All these hours you were going crazy.

How were you going to tell Harrison that it's because of your crippling insecurity you kept your feelings hidden?

How were you going to do that without him looking at you like you are a fool?

"You know I'm not the most secure person in the world," You laugh through your nerves, "And definitely not the most confident one. And that's why when I realised I liked you... more than friends... I got scared. Because you are you, and you look amazing and are so funny and talented and... I am just... me," You shrugged your shoulders even though you knew he won't be able to see you.

"And that's why I kept it all locked. Because I didn't want to feel rejected when I find out you don't like me like that." You sucked in a deep breath, "So now I've gone on and ruined everything, and I'm sorry if I hurt you..." You voice cracked as all those pent up tears rolled down your cheeks.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry!" And with that you hung up, not knowing that he will listen to your message, and only a few hours later going to turn up at your door.

If it was simply a knock at your door, you wouldn't be opening it. But the knock was accompanied with his voice. How could you not open?

Looking at you for the first time in three days made Harrison feel like he finally found something very dear to him he had lost. Sure you were in your pyjamas and your hair resembled a bird's nest, but it was you.

And you were...

"You are an absolute dumbass! No, you are actually the biggest dumbass on this entire planet!" There was a fit of slight anger behind his voice, but it was kind of hard to focus on the tone when you were finally hearing from him (and were even seeing him) after three entire days. "How dare you think that you are not good enough when really you are the only one?!" He thumbed his foot on the floor.

"What?" Now you spoke, not realising you had spaced out.

And you were...

He rubbed his face with both hands, "You are everything!" He walked forward, cradling your face gently in his hands.

And you were...

"An idiot..." He breathed out, "But still everything... How could you possibly think you were not enough?"

"You know me... I-I can't help it!" And the waterworks started again.

He leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours, looking into your glossy e/c eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" He voice was merely a whisper as his eyes flickered down to your lips.

You nodded your head, unable to form words and he pressed his lips again yours, pulling you closer to him.

"Just... next time... talk to me. Don't shut me out, okay?"

"Okay." You nodded again, resting your head against his chest.

What would happen if you actually screwed it all up?

_______________________

(FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED) / TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO GET ADDED TO THE TAGLIST!

ALSO, DON’T FORGET TO CHECK OUT @lost-aesthetic-of-past ‘s INCREDIBLE PAGE! THERE ARE SO MANY BREATH-TAKING FICS THERE. YOU SERIOUSLY CAN’T RISK MISSING ANY OF THOSE.

TAGLIST: @asmilinghopefullromantic // @just-a-littlebit-of-everything // @xximaweirdoxx // @jjasalem // @spidergirl007 // @wizliar // @justasmisunderstoodasloki // @veronicas-littleworld // @acceptance07 // @ghostspf // @screeching-student-unknown // @fanficscuziranout // @miraclesoflove // @trustfundparker // @tikapollak // @yourmum792 // @skymoonandstardust // @nxdxh // @httplayer // @peterparkerbabyyy // @starlight-starks // @silverwolf-sama // @riz-holland-osterfield // @multifandomdoodles121 // @serendipitous-amor // @viagracex // @lizzyosterfield // @tomhaz

#harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield fanfic #harrison osterfield fanfiction #harrison osterfield fic #haz osterfield #haz osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield fanfic #haz osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x you #harrison osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield x y/n #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield x you #Anya ❤️

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heartlandians · 4 years

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Okay here’s my review of 1410. I have a really big rant about Lou and Mitch so be prepared. But I did like it for the most part.

Lou and Mitch- okay so I had posted my thoughts on them potentially breaking up last week and why that was not a good writing decision and that still stands but now that they actually have broken up, I’m mad how they did it. I was under the impression that they were going to break them up in order to write Kevin off the show because of other commitments, which makes sense, even tho I’m not happy with it. However, they didn’t really write him off, which makes me mad. What’s the point of breaking them up THIS TIME if he isn’t getting written off??? Like I guess he could be written off but like they left it very open with saying the are “on a break” which gives me and other Litch fans at least some hope for the future which I wish they didn’t do. Like either keep them together or totally split them apart with no hope of coming back. I also thought that if Lou did break up with Mitch, they she would end up with peter, but she didn’t. I guess that could still happen in S15 but ehhh. I did like Lou and Peter when they were together but are they really going to go back 6-7 years and put them back together? That just feels like they are going backwards if so. Also, the fact that Lou said they were having a break has me confused. They stuff that they broke up over this time (mostly the kid thing I think, slightly peter but not really) doesn’t feel like “ on a break” stuff unless Lou thinks she will change her mind. Like this is a serious issue they disagree on and I will say that this time break up feels more natural and real then the others cuz these are actual issues that would need to be brought up and that they could disagree over rather than just problems brought up for the heck of it like in the past. I’m also surprised they had so many bed scenes with the full intention of them not ending up getting married. Like HL doesn’t show people in bed together rubles they are married and for them to not even end up getting married at least at this point and them being in bed still kinda surprised me. I did like Michelle and Kevin’s acting tho in the snow in the kitchen and the last scene, especially Kevin. He was literally almost crying and devastated that Lou was breaking up with him, even tho he would be the one who’s dreams aren’t met, which is super cute in my opinion as shows how much he loves her, but I know that might not end up working out well and Mitch could resent her later. I have always wanted an emotional scene between these 2 cuz Kevin and Michelle would knock it out of the park and they did, but I was more hoping along the lines of an emotional scene of them comforting each other during hard times, not during a break up but oh well I guess. Okay rant over but I will probs have more to say later.

Tim and Jessica were cute and was I the only one thinking that this is literally like the casey situation where Tim goes on a trip with her right after they meet to get to know her better? He acts like it’s a big deal this time when he’s literally done it before. But still cute.

The thing that actually made the episode for me was Jack and Lisa skating together. It was literally so cute. Oh and when Mitch rolled over in bed and Lou grabbed his hand too. I also loved Shadow running to Amy and acting all playful too

Something I hope they address in s15 is georgies grief since we never saw it really. It was just weird to me this season to sort of feel like I was on the outside of Georgies life. Like I know Alisha had other commitments but the stories she had when she was there felt surface level which was just weird to me cuz I’m used to more in depth stories with her with way more detail.

This might sound kind of bad but I’m not a huge fan of ty and Amy so I haven’t really gotten sad or teared up when there’s been sad moments with them, but that ending scene got me when he waved and she waved back haha. But also confused why they jumped ahead 6 months? They literally never do that but I guess that was what they thought was the best way to end the season. Hopefully that doesn’t really mess up the timeline for s15 and I don’t think it will since it was just Amy shown but I was so surprised I paused it

I just have to say tho what a great season. And to have to film it with all the covid protocols and hardships just wow. Can’t wait for a s15!!!

This could have pretty much been written by me! I’m not going to repeat everything you just said, but few points I also want to echo:

- The whole Lou/Mitch situation has been frustrating for years now, and I would’ve probably been so done with them already if it wasn’t for Michelle and Kevin. I think they are the reason I’m drawn to them in the first place because they act so well together and they have great chemistry. I honestly don’t know what could happen in S15 if this is just a break, because this kid thing is such a complicated issue. Right now it seems like whichever option (kid/no kid) they would choose, the other one might end up regretting the choice or resenting their partner, and I don’t think that’s a healthy way to deal with this.

- We’ve been suspecting Peter’s feelings for a while now, but Lou’s feelings were kind of a surprise for me. I know she’s loved Peter even after the divorce, but not like she used to, if that makes sense. I always assumed it was one of those “I respect you and you will always be important to me” kind of loves, that is more on the platonic side. So how is Lou all of a sudden so drawn to Peter? The wedding somehow jolted old feelings back? Or because he’s been there for her and Mitch’s been away (even when they’ve stayed in touch)? What if they’d get together, how would the relationship work? Would they still have the same problems they did when they divorced? Has something changed?

- I did love Georgie this season, she seems so mature, but at the same time, everything kind of felt... bland? If that makes sense. There was really not many surprises with her. I know she was only in like half of the episodes, but still. I’m not saying they should’ve come up with something dramatic for her and Quinn for the sake of drama, but I think she just needed... something more. It’s like you said, she felt kind of unattached to the rest of the story.

- The whole six months thing made me a bit confused too. So if that is already S15 timeline, will things pick up from there, or...? I guess we’ll see.

#replies #kvanbooven

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wallofweird · 4 years

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I’m so excited for season 5! What are you most excited for? 😍😍😍

And did you see they’ll bring the covid theme to this season?

I’m so sorry I haven’t answered this sooner, I think I probably read this ask while I was sleepy and decided to reply it later and then forgot there was something in my inbox. I’m really messy, so I apologize, but thank you for sending me this, I really appreciate when people come to talk to me. :)

Yes, I did see that they will bring COVID-19 to the plot! I’m glad that’s happening because even though This Is Us is all about The Pearsons, they are conscious about what’s happening in the US, the world and at each specific timeline. They’ve addressed to some extent The Cold War, The Vietnam War, racial segregation etc, even small things like fashion and musical trends (like Kate being obsessed with Alanis Morissette, this is such a 90/2000′s thing and I believe she was listening to Hanson when she was upset after her first break up?). So not addressing COVID-19 would feel wrong, I’m sure they will address the Black Lives Matter movement and maybe even police brutality and the presidential election too to some extent. Of course, the focus will still be The Pearsons and all these life-changing events happening in the big three’s and Rebecca’s lives, but they will acknowledge how the world will be affecting their lives too.

By the way, this turned out to be waaaaaaaaaaay longer than I expected it to be and I apologize for it, haha. By the way, this is in NO PARTICULAR ORDER.

So, about what I’m most excited for, well, that’s really a hard question because there are so many things left to explore and so many different places they can go. I guess one way to put it is that I’m more curious about the unseen and barely seen stuff. For example, I believe we’ve seen enough about Jack and Rebecca as parents of children and teenagers, so I wouldn’t mind if they reduced those scenes a little bit. I’d love to see them as parents of babies (which would be a great parallel with Kevison and Katoby), or when they first started dating, when they got engaged, when they were newlyweds. And I believe it’s not a coincidence that we’ve hardly seen any of those experiences regarding Rebecca and Jack, it feels like they saved it for when Kevin finally found the one (cough Madison cough).

I’d also like to see more of them before getting to know each other, their childhood and teenage/young years (we already know there will be one flashback on the first episodes at least!), maybe a little bit of their other relatives as well. Like, what happened to their parents and Rebecca’s sister? Specially Jack’s mother, he mentions she made three clothes for the babies, so she was still around when the big three were born and that was eight years after their first encounter.

I’d love to see more of past timelines that haven’t been visited enough as well. The 20′s is my favorite episode from season 2, I loved the storylines in there and mostly loved to see Kevin, Randall and Kate in their late 20s. Show me more of what was happening in their lives back then! Also, show me more of Randall and Beth as newlyweds and first-time parents too and more parallels with Kevison, please?

Kate. I know that eating disorders and insecurity just don’t go away, that they can be a daily struggle and anytime they can haunt you back and make you relapse. I’m glad the show explores that. However, they also work on Randall’s anxiety and Kevin’s addiction really well and have given them more different stories. I want the same for her. I’m glad that she is also married and has an expanding family of hers, but it seems like she post-poned her career again and I’d like to see her working again at some point. Also, what happens to her in the future? We saw a flash-forward that was like, two years from now and she was all dressed-up and seemed to be writing a song. I hope things are going well for her. And no, I doubt she is dead.

More about ‘the others’. Show me more of Madison, Beth, Toby and Miguel! Why isn’t Madison close with her family? How did she develop bulimia? Isn’t there really anyone who she count on in her family? Will they reconcile or has she left them for good to make her own family like Jack did (another potential for parallels, btw). I remember Beth mentioning to William that she had a lot sisters and lived with an enormous amount of people and we kind of saw it on the few episodes that centered on her, but what are her sisters like? How were their dynamic while growing up and what is it like now? Same for Toby, he has mentioned having a brother and a sister and it looks like they’re not that close, but Toby really loves and admires Kate’s bond with her brothers, so I feel like he craves that kind of relationship to himself and I’d like to know why he doesn’t seem to have it with with his own siblings. Plus, Miguel. He has biological children and grandchildren and yet he seems to be closer to Rebecca’s side of the family. And we’ve seen him with his biological family and know it is complicated, but couldn’t they fix or at least change that a little bit?

Randall’s biological family. Memphis is one of my favorite episodes from season 1 and one thing that was very satisfying and rewarding to see was Randall bonding with his biological family. The show has done a great job showing how Randall felt a vacancy in his entire life for being black in a racist world, for being black in a white family, for dealing with racism in his own family, for not having enough black references for a long period of his life, for being adopted, for being abandoned, for not knowing anything about his biological family, for not sharing genetic traits with his family, for still feeling like an outsider among some black folks he tried to connect with. He said it once that he either tries too hard or not hard enough, but he never manages to GET IT RIGHT. So when he met his biological family in Memphis, it was sort of an awakening, fulfilling moment after 36 years of dealing with all those complex feelings. And that was all, which is one of my few disappointments with the show. However, Sterling has talked about it and it seems that they will explore that again. And if they do, I hope he can introduce Beth and the girls to his uncles and cousins! Sure, he is closer to The Pearsons, but it wouldn’t hurt to have him spending time with his biological/extended family at least for one episode on seasons 5 and 6, right?

Final closure for Kevin and Sophie. I thought episode 3x16 was the perfect closure for them: Sophie talked to him about Grant and how he was her soulmate, they recognized the fact Kevin didn’t commit to their relationship as he did with his relationship with Zoe, they said goodbye without any hard feelings, he went back to Zoe and said he wanted to have a life with her and bought Sophie and Grant tickets to a concert. It was perfect. Then, I guess they wanted to play with the ‘who’s the baby mama’ question for one last time and brought her back as a plot device. It didn’t feel natural at all. They threw in two stories about a game they had imagining different endings to Good Will Hunting and her family ring out of nowhere, no previous hints, built-up or whatsoever. It felt like something made last minute to fuel them enough so she could be considered a baby mama/wife contender again after how badly their relationship played out with the cheating, hiding, lying, heartbreak and overall dynsfunctionality and the fact he dated Zoe for a year and saw himself marrying her. Even the way their relationship has been portrayed over the course of the show, it is an idealization. When Kevin is fine and happy, when his career is going smoothly, when he is life is well, he doesn’t think about her. When he gets frustrated and deluded, he runs back to her. It’s not a constant sentiment of missing her and longing for her, it’s a desperate move and Justin has talked about it and even compared it to his addiction and a unhealthy coping mechanism. So I just want them to definitely shut the door on it now. I believe they have done 50% already with them watching the ending of the movie and saying “it was better than they could've possibly imagined” and Sophie laughing at his billboard, not giving any hints of seeing him in a romantic light anymore. Now, they just need to write some closure to the ring. Give it a proper ending and move forward.

Deja, Tess and Annie. The girls are growing up! So keep giving them more things to do, specially Tess, she is one of the few LGBTQIA+ characters in the universe of the series, so I hope they explore her even more. Specially since she’s come out to her school not so long ago and it is in a phase of her life when the first crushes and relationships tend to happen, there are a lot of things they can do with that and I’m sure we from the LGBTQIA+ community would love to see it. Also, show me them in the flash-forwards! I’d also appreciate if we saw Tess having a love interest and a wlw kiss in the future.

Deja and her biological family. She’s adopted by Randall and Beth, but she has a whole story before them, she has a mother that is apparently doing well too and is a part of her identity. Showing adoptive and biological families having a well-balanced relationship for the sake of their child would be refreshing and really important and they could show the contrast between Deja’s and Randall’s experiences. There is a lot of potential there.

Hailey. I have no idea how the adoption process works in California/the US, but I hope the little one comes as soon as possible! And adult Hailey is adorable, too, she seems to be such a devoted sister, so I hope to see more of that as well.

Unexplored or underdeveloped dynamics. I know that Jack, Rebecca, Kate, Randall and Kevin are the leading characters. I know Jack/Rebecca, Randall/Beth, Kate/Toby and now Kevin/Madison are the main couples and they will have a lot of screen time. I know Kate and Kevin have a special bond because they are twins. I know Kevin and Nicky have a special bond because he stayed with his uncle and helped him with his sobriety. I know Kevin has a special bond with his nieces and baby Jack because he is the last one to become a parent. I know all of that and I don’t want that to change. Still, it doesn’t hurt to mix it up and shake things up a little bit. Give me a little bit of Randall and baby Jack, show me a little bit of Kate and Nicky, bring back a little bit of that funny dynamic Kevin and Toby had on the early seasons (I remember one scene where the actors did a little bit of an ad-lib and it was awesome), give me a little bit of Madison and Randall’s girls, the women/men hanging out together and Rebecca and Miguel! We’ve already got confirmation about Rebecca and Miguel’s story being explored this season, so I’m excited about that.

Kevison, Kevison, KEVISON!! This is absolutely no surprise since I’ve been interested in them since season 2, Madison is my favorite character and a lot of my blog is dedicated to them. Just give me EVERYTHING. Again, one of my few complaints is how the main relationships happened way too fast on this show. Don’t get me wrong, I love the couples as much as the next person and I can enjoy every trope if they are done right. Still, my favorite are still the slowburn ones. As I viewer, I like to see the seed being planted, watered and the slowly growing like a real plant. I like rooting for something, knowing that it will happen, but not when and how it is going to play out. I like to see every single step of the journey: being acquainted, becoming colleagues, friends, confidants, best friends, falling in love, dating, getting engaged, married and BEING married. I love seeing little things and changes in their dynamic, like becoming more touchy, lingering looks, making each other blush, a little bit of jealousy... Sure, we got a little bit of those moments with Jack/Rebecca, Randall/Beth and Kate/Toby, but it wasn’t the same feeling because they were all love at first sight (which is one of the tropes I usually don’t like) and got together pretty quickly. And even when we saw their first meeting, or Jack being a little jealous/hurt when he saw Rebecca with her ex-boyfriend, it was more of a momentary thing than an example of changed dynamics and feelings becoming deeper and romantic. It wasn’t the result of months and a number of episodes in the making, it was a flashback we visited when we already knew the destination of their story, that it wouldn’t last and they would be happily married and the love of each other’s lives. So I specially appreciate that kevison will be the only main couple to have a different construction and development. I’d also love to see flashbacks of the time they slept together (it was afternoon when they met at Kate’s house and they went to Madison’s place and he only left the next morning! WHAT DID THEY DO DURING ALL OF THAT TIME?), which I’m quite confident we will get, but also before that. On episodes 4x10, 4x12, 4x14 and 4x18 I got the feeling that they were quite familiar with one another. They weren’t exactly friends, but they weren’t awkward with each other anymore, they were comfortable hanging out and shopping with Kate, he sweetly smiled at Madison’s quirks, Madison seemed unimpressed and annoyed when she opened the door to him and she didn’t have problems at all stepping inside Kate’s house as if she owned the place and ignoring Kevin when he told her it wasn’t a good time. Their dynamic really changed since episode 3x15 and Justin mentioned Kevin saw her as part of the family before their night together, so I wonder why. Also, some parallel flashbacks would be particulary nice. For example, they could have a flashback of Madison making a pregnancy test on a day that Kevin is babysitting Jack and daydreaming of having his own children. They could show parallels of Kevin and Madison struggling with addiction/bulimia in the past. Maybe she also lost a close relative and grief has impacted her as much as Kevin. So. Many. Possibilities. That. Can. Be. Explored!!!!! Those two are the characters that have THE MOST IN COMMON WITH ONE ANOTHER and there are a lot of things the writers can explore with that. Another particularly sweet thing that wouldn’t hurt or take more than a single minute would be a flashback of them meeting each other way before Kate. Like, if they had bumped into each other on the street years before and don’t remember it until they talk about it one day and realized they saw each other before? I’m watching this dizi (aka a Turkish TV show) where the characters are in a considerably similar situation, pregnant as a result of a drunk one-night stand after their first date and there was this moment where they were talking and she remembered she had bumped into him years ago when she was heartbroken over her ex getting engaged. It was such a small and fulfilling moment. It really gives the idea of COMING FULL-CIRCLE and I’d love to see something like that.

Kevison and the other couples enjoying their pregnancies. I feel like we see the characters with their children as much as we should, and I definitely appreciate that, but we don’t get to see them enjoying the pregnancy period. Last year, most of Kate’s pregnancy revolved around worry, for example. And I get that since it was a complicated pregnancy and she had suffered a miscarriage before, but still. Kate only has one biological child. Rebecca only got pregnant once. Madison is likely to be pregnant only one time too. We basically only saw Beth and Lucy giving birth and that was only one time for each character. It would be nice to see their pregnancies being fun. Documenting it, buying baby clothes, discussing baby names, building cribs, decorating the baby(ies) room etc. It would be nice to have flashbacks of that and specially to see KEVISON doing all of that, since this is the pregnancy that is happening at this current moment.

The characters having friends outside their families and marriage. Like I said before, I KNOW that the focus of the show are the big three and Jack and Rebecca. I know which dynamics will be more explored on the show and I don’t want that to change. However, Kate is the only one that has the luxury of two friends (Madison and Gregory). Randall got Jae-Won on season 3 (I actually think they only became real friends last season, tbh) and Kevin had Cassidy for a while and now doesn’t even seem to talk to her anymore (not that I miss it because I didn’t like their dynamic, specially after they slept together and I just wanted season 4A to focus on him and Nicky without anyone’s interference). Let them have some friends of their own too and hang out with them at least for an episode? Same goes to Beth, Toby, Rebecca and Miguel (I know he had Jack, I’m talking about present time).

Kevin’s career. For now I want him to focus on his children and Madison, but when it comes to his career, I’d like to see him doing different things. He played a soldier and a cop. Let him play different characters and show more versatility. Maybe doing voice-work on a Disney movie for his children to watch it and enjoy it? Dealing a little bit with fame, tabloids and paparazzi could be interesting as well. He’s not a big celebrity like Oscar-winner actors, but he is famous enough to be photographed on the street and have mean rumors about him spread on the media (they mentioned one about him being drunk and running over his daughter with his car), so there are many possibilities to explore when he comes to his career too.

Kate being there for Madison during the pregnancy and more moments of Kate helping and comforting her during difficult times, both in the present and the past years. This is not criticism. Kate helped her when she relapsed that one time and took care of her. It also didn’t make sense to focus on Madison that much because her character didn’t have such a big role back then. Now, things have changed and Madison will be needing her, so let Kate repay the favor.

The couples enjoying some adult time without children involved. One of the very few flaws of This Is Us. We only got that with Jack and Rebecca. The only times Kate/Toby and Beth/Randall tried to have a night just for themselves they had problems. Susan mentioned that she would like to see them going on a date and so do I? Hopefully we will see Kevin/Madison, Randall/Beth and Kate/Toby having some quality time without the kids as well.

If we get to see more of the big three as older children and teenagers (which I guess we are because unless that’s changed, the actors are still part of the main cast), I hope they show more moments of them bonding, having fun and helping each other. Having their own experiences and having each other’s back instead of problems that Jack and Rebecca try to solve for them or help them with. Let them be bigger characters and let them be close as siblings too. That episode where they watched Arsenio Hall together was particularly sweet and refreshing to see, same goes to Kevin helping Randall at school when he got a notification and was having a panic attack. However, for their teen years, I’d definitely love to see them being easy with their parents and those five having a good time together, enjoying each other and their parents for a change, specially since Jack passed away when they were only 17.

Jack, Hailey and the twins. Sure, they will be little, but I hope we get to see the cousins together for a decent amount of time. It is really nice that they are all close (Madison/Kevin/Kate), and NOW, FAMILY. It is nice that Hailey, Jack and the twins will be closer in age and not have a lonely childhood. I hope they explore that a little bit.

Jack Damon. I love him. He is creative, charismatic, funny and adorable. He is also one of the few representation of disabled people that was done right. He is a visually-impaired person played by visually-impaired actors. His disability is a part of who he is and his story, but not all of it. He is a successful musician. He has a big family with his daughter, wife, sister, cousins and uncles. I want to know more of him. Plus, the writing exploring accessibility. Episode 4x13 when Kate, Jack and Rebecca went to the retreat and we saw all those children playing and having fun and living a full life was amazing. We need more of that on TV.

Plus, what about Nicky? Who did he marry? I have an entire theory about this and I hope he can get a little family for himself. Don’t get me wrong, The Pearsons are his family too, his bond with Kevin is one of my favorite relationships in the entire show, but I’d want him to have a family outside of his extended family, too, you know?

Dr. K and Wlliam. We can never get enough from them! I don’t know how often we will see them due to the pandemics and the fact the actors are eldery, but they are the guest stars I will never grow tired of. A fantasy sequence with the entire family while having Jack, Nicky and William would be particuarly nice. They could’ve done it on episode 4x17 and I was a little frustrated that they missed the opportunity.

The future of the family and the future of the show. Rebecca is a grandmother now. Randall, Kate and Kevin are parents. Deja, Tess and Annie are growing up. Jack is 1. Madison is very close to giving birth to the twins. They’ll be 40 when the season premieres. Kevin is a year sober. They’ve all grown in so many different ways. And since Rebecca’s health and memory are deteriorating, I’d like them to be in the upfront of the narrative now. As I mentioned before, I know the leading characters are Jack, Rebecca, Kevin, Kate and Randall. I know the big three are some of biggest characters on the show. Still, when it comes to family, the narrative has always focused on Jack and Rebecca as parents and Kate, Randall and Kevin as children. They have always explored more the problems those three experience, whether is in the past or present time and Rebecca and Jack trying to help them navigate through them and solve things. Let’s reverse everything. Let Rebecca be vulnerable and having her children taking care of her. I’d also love to see more of the future timelines with Randall’s girls as young adults, Jack, Hailey and the twins as children and teenagers, them and their parents dealing with all of that. What will Randall and Beth do when they all go to college and move out? What will Kate and Toby do when their children have nightmares? What will Madison and Kevin do with the twins when they have problems at school? Let us see (more) of Randall’s, Kate’s and Kevin’s parenting style and what they got from their parents and are passing on for their kids and what is their own approach to parenthood. Let us see them passing on Jack and Rebecca’s legacy for the future generations of The Pearsons, but also making their own little traditions and having their own experiences. Let’s us see them making NEW MEMORIES FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR FAMILIES. It is a good idea to explore both on seasons 5 and 6, imo. Showing how far they have come, how this family that started with only a couple and has evolved into this gigantic fabric of people and how Jack and Rebecca will live forever though Kevin, Kate, Randall, their children, Hope and the ones from generations that are still to come.

IT’S NOT that I exactly WANT it, but iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif we really have to go there:

Kate and Toby’s divorce. I don’t want it. I love them as people. I root for them as a couple. Sure, they have faced some major problems and this season explored that, but I hope they get passed it, specially since they are about to welcome a second child. Still, I can’t come up with a good enough of an explanation why Toby isn’t wearing his wedding ring. Every possible reason that crossed my mind was either heartbreaking or underwhelming at best: there was a small incident and he will buy a new ring, they got divorced, Kate died. I don’t want any of it to happen and I bet money that Kate doesn’t die. Still, if after making such a big deal of it, it turns out that they just are buying new wedding rings or whatever, that will be so ANTICLIMACTIC. And if they do get a divorce, it will be REPETITIVE since they teased it for the entire season and they stayed married. So far, if it were for them to split up, it should have happened on season 4. If they’re reaaaaaaally gonna go there, I hope it will be done well considering there are only two seasons left, two children involved and it was something they literally played with LAST SEASON. They must find a way to make it REFRESHING AND NOT REPETITIVE. They must find a way to explore the outcome of it. Dealing with a divorce, being single again, the custody of their children and how it will change their dynamic as parents. I also want them to find a new love. Sure, it would be realistic if they ended up alone, yes, and there’s no shame in that. A lot of people don’t want to get married or never see that dream coming true and those are stories worth telling too. STILL, I’d be really frustrated with they were the only characters who ended up alone when Randall/Beth and Kevin/Madison are happily married. Even Jack and Lucy seem to be going strong! So show them finding someone else and give well-developed love stories with different people for them while exploring everything else that’s already going on too. I wanted there to be a big and plausible enough explanation why on earth Toby isn’t wearing his ring and yet is still very much married to Kate, but I recognize it is more wishful thinking.

If they still want to bring Sophie through flashbacks, then answer relevant questions than just having her there sitting next to Kevin. The divorce is a great example of storyline and it can serve as a parallel for Kevison, like, what they got right and Kevin/Sophie didn’t. Justin said Kevin cheated on her twice, so how did all of that happen? We don’t know.

#this is us #jack pearson #rebecca pearson #randall pearson #kate pearson #kevin pearson #madison simons #madison simmons #madison pearson #beth pearson #toby damon

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the-homicidediaries · 4 years

Text

Chris Benoit

Guys.

I am so excited to talk about this.

Not because of the context, but because this is one of the reasons I love wrestling so much; there’s so much that goes on behind the scenes that people have NO CLUE about.

There have been several professional wrestlers who have killed people or been killed themselves and the rabbit hole goes deep.

(Rey Mysterio accidentally killed a man on live tv and they still have the video up on YouTube.)

(Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka murdered his girlfriend in May of 1983. Who is Jimmy Snuka? Jimmy Snuka was related to The Rock, Rikishi, and The Uso’s.)

THERE ARE SO MANY MORE THO.

But today, I want to talk about the Daddy of them all, Chris Benoit.

Chris Benoit’s crimes are so heinous and unforgivable Vince McMahon has swept his name under the rug and removed him from The Hall of Fame.

Benoit’s crimes also changed the dynamic of professional wrestling forever.

Chris Benoit was born in Montreal, Quebec to Michael and Margaret Benoit on May 21, 1967. He and his family resided in Edmonton, Alberta, however.

During Benoit’s childhood, he idolized Tom “Dynamite Kid” Billington (a British wrestler who competed in the 1980’s and had ongoing feuds with Hart) and Bret “Hitman” Hart (a Canadian-American wrestler and a member of the notorious Hart Family. He is a personal fave of mine as well).

When Benoit was 12 years old, he attended a local wrestling event where both Dynamite Kid and Hart were competing and he knew right then and there that he was destined to become a wrestler.

He trained in The Hart Family “dungeon” and was coached by none other than Stu Hart (Bret and Owen Hart’s father. If you don’t know Owen Hart, you should google him as well because he died under bizarre circumstances on live tv as well.)

When Benoit fought in the ring, he channeled both Dynamite Kid and Hart, even adopting Hart’s signature move, “Sharpshooter” as his finishing move.

Chris began wrestling in 1985 in Stu Hart’s Stampede Wrestling promotion. He was quickly recognized as a force to be reckoned with and received his first title, the Stampede British Commonwealth Mid-Heavyweight Championship, on March 18, 1988.

(This dude has a very extensive history or wrestling in New Japan Pro-Wrestling, World Champion Wrestling, Extreme Champion Wrestling, and World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment, but I just.. I cain’t get into all that, please forgive me. Haha! We are talking 22 years here! So I am humbly skipping to his family life.)

-Okay, so. I would love for this to be a romantic love story for the ages and the deaths resulted in crimes of passion, but that didn’t happen. At. All. Not at all.

You’ll see soon why this was all brushed under the rug.-

Benoit was married twice.

His first wife, Martina, and he had two children David (who is a wrestler as well) and Megan. By 1997, their marriage had broken down and Benoit and Martina decided it was best to end it.

Benoit began living with his girlfriend, Nancy Sullivan, who was the girlfriend of Benoit’s frequent opponent, Kevin Sullivan.

(It started off as an on-screen relationship for views and it led to a real-life affair. Many people joke that Kevin Sullivan booked his own divorce.)

On February 25, 2000, Benoit and Nancy’s son, Daniel, was born.

On November 23, 2000, Benoit and Nancy were married.

This 👏🏼 was 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 a 👏🏼 good 👏🏼 marriage.

In 2003, Nancy filed for divorce from Benoit, saying he would break and throw furniture and was cruel to her. She later dropped the suit as well as the restraining order she had set against him.

Benoit became good friends with fellow wrestler Eddie Guerrero, (a beloved and incredible wrestler, one of my dad’s faves), following a match in Japan, when Benoit kicked Guerrero in the head and knocked him out cold. This started a friendship that lasted even after Guerrero's death in late 2005, in which Benoit had written diary entries to him just ten days after his passing.

(I’m only mentioning this because Guerrero’s death has been rumored to be one of the reasons Benoit did what he did.)

Here’s where it gets gory.

So we know Benoit and Nancy did not have a good marriage, but things seemed to be okay because she dropped all the charges against him.

Benoit and Nancy were living in Fayetteville, GA, with 7 year old Daniel.

On June 25, 2007, police entered the Benoit home after Benoit’s WWE employers requested a welfare check after Benoit missed weekend events without notice.

(Benoit was actually scheduled to win another title during these weekend events.)

Upon arriving at his Georgia home, authorities found Nancy wrapped in a towel. She had died from asphyxiation.

Their son was also found, also dead, apparently strangled. Benoit placed a Bible next to each of their bodies.

Benoit’s body was the most disturbing to be found. The wrestler was hanged on a lat pulldown machine, with a Bible lying on the weight machine beside him. There were also allegedly 10 empty beer cans and an empty bottle of wine.

Autopsies concluded the murders and suicide took place over the course of three days.

On Friday, June 22, Chris Benoit killed his wife Nancy in an upstairs bedroom. Her limbs were bound, and her body was wrapped in a towel. A copy of the bible was left by her body. Injuries indicated that Benoit had pressed a knee into her back while pulling on a cord around her neck, causing strangulation. Officials said that there were no signs of immediate struggle. Toxicologists did find alcohol in her system, but they were unable to determine if she had been drinking prior to her death or if it was a product of decomposition.

Daniel was suffocated and killed in his bedroom, and a copy of the bible was left by his body. Daniel had internal injuries to the throat area, showing no bruises. Daniel's exact time of death is unknown. The reports determined Daniel was sedated with Xanax and likely unconscious when he was killed. Daniel's body had also just started to show signs of decomposition but was not as far along as his mother's body, so they were able to determine he was murdered after his mother.

(It was later alleged that Daniel had Fragile X syndrome, a genetic disorder that is characterized by mild to moderate intellectual disability. Physical features may include a long and narrow face, large ears, flexible fingers, and large testicles. About a third of those affected have features of autism such as problems with social interactions and delayed speech. Males are affected more than females. Daniel also had needle marks in his arm and it’s alleged that these were the result of growth hormones given to him because Benoit and his family considered him to be undersized.)

Chris Benoit committed suicide by hanging. Benoit used a weight machine cord to hang himself by creating a noose from the end of the cord on a pull-down machine from which the bar had been removed. Benoit released the weights, causing his strangulation. Benoit was found hanging from the pulley cable.

(On a podcast called The Talk is Jericho in 2016, Nancy’s sister Sandra Toffoloni divulged some more information. She said Benoit’s internet search history showed he had searched “the quickest and easiest way to break a neck”. Benoit had a towel wrapped around his neck when he committed suicide and his neck was broken instantly.)

A suicide note was not discovered, but a note written in one of the bibles Benoit had said, “I’m preparing to leave this Earth.”

A few possible motives I’ve seen people mention have included:

•CTE - Chronic traumatic encephalopathy is a neurodegenerative disease caused by repeated head injuries. Symptoms do not typically begin until years after the injuries and can include behavioral problems, mood problems, and problems with thinking. During his autopsy, it was concluded that Benoit did suffer from CTE after wrestling for so many years. (Back when they threw people from tops of cages, hit each other over the head with chairs and ladders, etc.) Autopsy experts say Benoit’s brain was so severely damaged that it resembled a 85 year old Alzheimer’s patient.

•Nancy’s abuse and filing for divorce - In February 2008, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that Benoit was having an affair with a female WWE wrestler and Nancy found out. It was also speculated they argued over life insurance policies.

•Benoit’s alcohol abuse - Benoit abused steroids, but many people believe it was his alcohol abuse that led to these horrific murders. Many of Benoit’s colleagues attested he would drink more when problems with Nancy occurred.

•Eddie Guerrero’s death - Benoit and Guerrero and Benoit were very close. When it came out that Guerrero has died in his hotel room in November of 2005, Benoit was devastated. WWE held a televised memorial for Guerrero and when Benoit was giving his testimony, he broke down in front of the camera. Some of Benoit’s colleagues say, “he was never the same” after Guerrero’s death.

But at the expense of sounding completely heartless, (mind you, I’ve been suicidal myself), why didn’t he just commit suicide?

Why did he have to murder his wife and seven year old son? If we go with the CTE theory, it makes sense because he was not thinking rationally.

I wish Nancy had had the strength to leave him when she tried.

The night after Benoit’s body was found, WWE Raw had a televised memorial for him and his family with Vince McMahon standing in the middle of the ring breaking the news and a video montage.

No one knew he was the one who had killed his family.

When it was later revealed that Benoit had committed these crimes the episode was removed and WWE made the decision to remove nearly all mention of Benoit from their website, future publications, video games, merchandise, DVD/Blu-Rays, and future events.

Like I said.. swept him under the rug.

Benoit is now the “He Who Shall Not Be Named” of professional wrestling.

In ending this, I’d like to quote Stone Cold Steve Austin now.

“Well first and foremost, what I think about Chris Benoit is that guy was one of the most nicest guys I ever met in my life. He’s one of the most talented, hard working cats I’d ever seen in the squared circle. Anybody who knew Chris would tell you those exact two things. That guy loved the damn wrestling business, he was born to be a wrestler and was absolutely phenomenal. Drawing a lot of his influence from The Dynamite Kid, he blazed a path as the Pegasus Kid and his legacy as The Crippler Chris Benoit was just one hellacious career.

“One night, Chris ended up killing his wife and his kid. That is an act so terrible and horrible I can’t even comprehend or guess as to what happened in that house. That will always overshadow any accomplishment Chris had in the ring. He’ll never be in the Hall of Fame, it will just never happen. His career will speak for itself but his record as a human being, his first and foremost, and those actions will never be forgotten. That’s my feelings on that, we don’t even need to talk about the Hall of Fame. Speaking for myself, Chris Benoit as the person I knew, loved him. Chris Benoit as a wrestler, loved him. Chris Benoit as the person who did what he did, unforgivable. Bottom line.” – via NoDQ.com.

Pictured below are Chris and Nancy Benoit, their son Daniel, and their home in Fayetteville, Georgia.

#chris benoit #wwe #true crime

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