#I love my boy but his source is rather niche.]]

[angel-dust-addict]

Never apologize for ranting about the things you love on your own blog! If you can’t do it on a blogging platform, where else can you do it?

I’m assuming the numbers are a specific digit. I won’t assume you have Photoshop or anything like that, but if you can download a free program like Paint.Net I would use the text feature to type those numbers out on a font and colour you like, arrange them into a necklace shape, and layer them over the neck of whatever faceclaim you end up using. I’ve done similar things with adding stuff to my icons before such as blood, tears, scars or tattoos. Does it look completely professional? Eh, no really. But it works for the aesthetic and showing people what your character is meant to look like. Even better if you format your icons to a smaller size like 150x150 or smaller bc then you can’t really pick up on subtle signs a photo has been altered

It might be worth it to bring that idea to an icon maker and see if that’s something you could commission for if you’re not confident in your photo editing abilities.

Regardless, I wish you luck! Cypher sounds like a cool muse!

//They are indeed! The numbers aren't actually ever given in canon, but the opening credits of the show has all the major cast and crew names come up onscreen as numbers that blur into letters. I used Danny's actor's numbers for the numbers around Cypher's neck and Alex's actor's numbers for the numbers around Cypher's wrists. (Alex was Danny's boyfriend.) I don't have photoshop, but I'm currently relearning how to use GIMP, which is a free, open-source software in the same vein as photoshop. I used to use it all the time for making promos, transparencies, and icons. Not using it for like 2 years has left me a bit rusty, but I'm starting to get the hang of it again. I'll have to check out Paint.Net and see how that is to use. Thus far I've got a mostly finished transparency of Ben Whishaw in the role of Danny and references for Cypher's antlers and ears. I have a vague idea of how to change his hair color and bits of his skin color to match his roe deer coloring. That image is waist up and doesn't include his hands, so I don't have to worry about his claws or deer legs. If I can get one decent image I swear I'm gonna make like 8 different icons out of it on top of a promo. XD

And thank you! I'm glad you think he sounds interesting! He's not generated a whole lot of interest thus far, but I'm hoping getting together a promo for him that I can put on my canon blogs might help. This fandom seems pretty good with OCs, and he is, for all intents and purposes, basically that when it comes to his not being canon to this universe. Although to be honest, his canon blog didn't generate a whole lot of interest in the Bond/Criminal Minds/Hannibal/assorted-spy-type-things fandom, either. But that might be because he's from a relatively obscure source (for something that's not even 10 years old) that's not the most watchable thing in the world, I'll be honest. I enjoy it, but I'm also the sort of person who will sit down and watch Metropolis just because. He comes from a spy thriller-esque miniseries called London Spy. It's rather dense and kind of gritty and has a lot of details that only become important like two episodes later.

Cypher, btw, is @theliarshart for anybody interested, since this us now my second (rather long) post in a row about him. >_>;;;

[brainrotdotorg]

sorry. thinking about piss and fuck again. gonna subject you to it.

when you love a niche-ish character you really have to scrape for content to learn anything at all about their personalities. as with every character, we are viewing them and the world through the lens of a cop-- of course people are going to interact with harry differently than they would with a friend or loved one. we dont get to really see who they truly are.

THANKFULLY our dumb boys are somehow both painfully sincere and also deeply ironic. so they have. entire fucking mission statements about who they are that can tell us a lot about how they view themselves and the world! a great source for learning more about them and i am gonna do a dive into it!!

here's piss's reasoning behind his name (all copied via fayde)

PISSF****T - "Well, first off, it's a statement and not *necessarily* something that characterizes me as a person, even though the statement has character. And I *do* like piss..."

[Og] *336.PISSF****T - "The word PISSF****T epitomizes the struggle taking place in the world, things being defined as they seem, not as they are. And -- I guess -- it's also about communal spirit, the future, and *truly* appreciating our differences."

[Og] *200.PISSF****T - "Also, you've got to admit, it catches the eye. And since the grand piper is slowly but steadily moving towards basing the economy on it -- attention -- it is imperative that the medium itself convey the message."

[Og] *235.YOU - "Ee... what?"

[Og] *177.PISSF****T - "What I mean by this is -- we are *all* Pissf****ts. And that the world is inherently meaningless."

thank you my boy youre such a genius. and here is fuck's:

FUCK THE WORLD - "I can answer that. Many men keep searching for *the one*. For so-called true love, which is actually just obsession masquerading as kinship. The thrill of the chase, the hollowness that fills your chest cavity after catching it."

[Og] *127.FUCK THE WORLD - "To catch a fish you need to hurl the lure many times, and even then it isn't certain that you'll get anything. If you blow up the lake, though..."

[Og] *40.YOU - "Blow it up!"

[Og] *364.FUCK THE WORLD - "...you get more fish in a shorter time. And, for time is of the essence and fleeting ever so quickly, one must think of a way to fuck the whole world -- and not get caught up in fucking some *one*."

[Og] *47.FUCK THE WORLD - "Because when one fucks everything, he fucks nothing. And that, to me, feels glorious -- sticking your dick into the void."

so what have we learned here!!

Piss believes:

it is a statement, not *necessarily something that characterizes him, though he is into piss (whether or not he's actually a faggot is still technically up in their air but. come on. yknow)

things are often defined as how they seem rather than how they are (public perception not aligning with the truth of a thing and how this is an inevitability)

in communal spirit, (community and unity)

the future, (vague but I guess uhhh he believes in a better one? he believes in A Future. thats nice)

truly appreciating our differences (explanatory. good for you piss, love thy neighbor and all that)

attention is the new currency, baby!! (also says 'the grand piper' sorry am i stupid what does that mean. what is up with your verbiage, girl. i love you.)

the world is meaningless! (seemingly anti-nihilistic approach about nothing meaning anything, with an emphasis on community and authenticity in a universe that means nothing rather than focusing on hopelessness)

Fuck believes:

"true love" is just obsession masquerading as kinship- probably some very cynical and pessimistic views on romance, believes also that its about the thrill of the chase and not the actual end result

(he believes in bad metaphors also. sorry buddy. i forgive you)

sees this chase as fruitless because you may not even end up with anything

life is short so get what you want as quickly as you can

generous interpretation. fish as representative of not only sexual partners but maybe opportunities? not getting caught up with just THE ONE and finding ways to have it all? (hedonism, question mark)

sticking your dick into the void. gotta give him credit there!! maybe some similarly aligned feelings with piss about nihilism? idk

non-monogamy is the way to go it seems!

(imo piss's statement of unity through the bizarre and pride in the perverse is a strong statement than sticking your dick into the void. not even saying that because i like him more. sorry fuck. maybe my interpretations are too charitable but I'm working with what I've got here!)

so today we've learned that piss is of the idea that things are not always what they seem, and the way to combat the common problem of making assumptions is to understand the differences of your fellow man and find what unity you can in an ultimately meaningless world.

and fuck is. a whore.?

jk fuck's philosophy is much more focused on romance and attraction than I remember it being but like... no it really is. about that. his thesis is basically about how there is no one SINGLE thing (or person) that will bring you satisfaction, so this life is all about getting what you can in the short amount of time you have. not bad!

i hope this read gives people a clearer idea on how i perceive them the way i do lol. these little mission statements are pretty telling of their character i wish everyone could give a little explanation like this of their philosophies . in the exact same stupid manner, preferably. if anybody has any other interpretations i would love to hear them

[hils79]

Hils Watches Kiseki: Dear to Me - Ep 5

Oh no now Bai Zongyi thinks the person Ai Di was loudly pining over in the bakery was Fan Zerui when it was actually Chen Yi. So many misunderstandings

Look at the drunk snuggly kitten

AHHHHHHH! My absolute favourite thing in BL ships where there is a height difference is the tall one scooping up the small one and carrying them. Not enough dramas do it so thank you for catering for this very niche thing that I like

Oh, good. That misunderstanding didn't last very long.

God, Ai Di really is tiny

Teenage boys...

Aww look at them fighting back to back. Love me a battle couple.

Oh, gosh. Fan Zerui passed out from exhaustion and rather than sleep on the bed Bai Zongyi chose to sleep on the floor next to him. He's so far gone now I love it.

Chen Yi manhandles Ai Di a lot. I should have realised this when he casually picked him up and slung him over his shoulder at the very start of the first episode.

Oh, no, are they going to ask Bai Zongyi to date the awful rich girl who tried to pay him to be her boyfriend so they can find the source of the drugs?

Okay she just accused him of assault so I guess not

This is hilarious because the principal knows he's not really a teacher, but she can't admit she let a gang member go undercover in her school so she's having to just go along with Fan Zueyi claiming to be Bai Zongy's cousin

I thought this was going to be one of those dramas where the secondary couple were more interesting than the leads. And I am 100% here for Ai Di and Chen Yi but I am also now very fond of these two idiots as well

I can see why at some point they're going to have a 4 year time skip back to where the first episode started. How old is Bai Zongyi meant to be? He's still in high school so 17?

[doppo-hifumi]

Might be a weird ask but could you rank the hyping boys just by there character quote?

You don’t have to but if you could that would be amazing as I would like to know you’r opinion!

Thank you anon! This is actually a really interesting question that I’ve never considered until now, and if you know me you know that I love ranking things :)

Long post incoming, sorry!

1. Ramuda

“The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole.” — Oscar Wilde

This is my number one quote by virtue of the fact that Oscar Wilde is one of my favorite authors of all time. I also think it’s a pretty good reflection of what Ramuda’s inner dialogue is; the whole “finding optimism in the face of pessimism” thing and whatnot. And the dessert imagery is also fun and very Ramuda.

2. Samatoki

“Life is not fair.”

Hear me out. This one is so true. It’s to the point, it’s accurate, it reflects Samatoki’s outlook considering all the unfortunate things that he’s had to deal with. It’s also funny in the right context, like the fact that he’s got this written on his jacket. It’s succinct and tragicomic. 11/10.

3. Doppo

“The real world is much smaller than the imaginary.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

I think this is one of the more fitting quotes. It’s a rather pessimistic quote that really echoes Doppo’s feelings of resignation and even defeat towards real life, and it also plays into Doppo’s avoidance of idealistic thoughts i.e. he’s often reluctant to see ideal/hopeful versions of situations and entertain better possibilities. Also it comes from The Dawn of Day, which is a more niche work by Nietzsche, so it gets bonus points for being from a relatively obscure work on philosophy + for being esoteric as hell.

4. Jakurai

“The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.” — Leo Tolstoy

I think this quote is a really good pick for Jakurai because it ties into both his code of ethics as a doctor, as well as his personal values. I personally think this is the most fitting quote out of all the character quotes. I’ve ranked this one so high also because it’s from The Kingdom of God Is Within You by Leo Tolstoy, and while I haven’t read this book, some of Tolstoy’s other works absolutely slap (see: Anna Karenina) so it gets bonus points for a quality source.

5. Rosho

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” — Albert Einstein

This is another quote that fits perfectly, because it kind of mirrors Rosho’s canon journey from being held back by his mistakes and quitting show business to regaining his confidence and stage presence as part of DH. And I like that it’s an Einstein quote because that works well with Rosho… kings in STEM etc. The only reason I ranked the Jakurai quote higher is because this quote is really famous and sorta cliché, so it loses points for being basic.

6. Dice

“Love the life you live. Live the life you love.” — Bob Marley

I like this one bc while it is sort of generic, it just works really well. In the first month that I got into hypmic, I didn’t know about Dice’s backstory but I thought this quote was really fitting anyhow when it popped up on ARB. Now that I’m aware of his history this quote resonates even more. It’s a good pick 10/10.

7. Rio

“I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

First off this one is so dramatic, so it’s got that X factor. I feel like it’s not as character-specific as the other quotes that are higher up on the list, but I like this one because every time I see it I think it’s clever how they echoed this quote in 2DIE4.

8. Gentaro

“What do you want meaning for? Life is desire, not meaning.” — Charlie Chaplin

Admittedly there are plenty of better quotes they could’ve used for him but this is ranked so high up just because it’s got strong Gen energy, and also because I’ve always liked this quote outside of the hypmic context. Vibes aside, I think this applies to Gen because it sort of responds to the theme of untruths/ weaving your own narrative.

9-13 are ones I’m pretty neutral about.

9. Sasara

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” — Carol Burnett

10. Jyuto

“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” — Muhammad Ali

11. Kuko

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” — Mahatma Gandhi

12. Jiro

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” — George Bernard Shaw

13. Rei

“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” — Jackie Robinson

These are all good quotes, and I sort of understand why these quotes were chosen, but they give off the vibe of “we didn’t know what quote to use for this character so we gave them a quote that’s vaguely relevant to their profile.”

14. Ichiro

“You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down.” — Charlie Chaplin

I’m not a huge fan of this because I feel like it’s not as character-specific as some of the other ones. It’s a very generic quote. However I do understand this because he is technically the poster boy of hypmic and this quote kind of echoes an overarching theme of hopefulness?? It’s got main character vibes I guess, but it lacks spice :(

15. Hitoya

“It is my belief that reaching out to the moon is my goal. Even if it does not arrive.”

Sorry! This one is giving generic inspirational quote “Shoot for the moon <3 Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars <3” vibes!! I couldn’t find a source for this quote so I’m convinced they just made this up in the studio? I also don’t know how this is representative enough of Hitoya.

16. Saburo

“Everything that rises sets, and everything that grows, grows old.” — Gaius Sallustius Crispus

???? I’ve been thinking about this for two days and I actually cannot figure out why this is Saburo’s quote, aside from the fact that it is esoteric and pretentious which I guess is what a 14 y.o. with a god complex would like. That aside I just do not understand this one.

17. Jyushi

“Never, never, never, never, give up.” — Winston Churchill

Come on!! There has got to be more to Jyushi’s character than this!!! I understand that this might be a personal motto type of thing for Jyushi, but I just felt like it was a lazy pick and it’s not representative enough. You can’t learn anything about his character from this quote because it’s so generic and boring sorry!!

18. Hifumi

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. “ — Charles E. Dederich

Actually this is an apt quote for Hifumi. I understand why they chose this quote because it signifies fresh beginnings. BUT… the fact that this quote is attributed to Dederich is so bizarre to me. Like… he is an insane former alcoholic turned cult leader that founded of America’s most dangerous cults. It’s a bit questionable and unsettling of a pick is what I’m saying <3

ANYWAYS!! Sorry for the long post!! I put a lot of thought into this ranking! Let me know what I should rank next! Thank you anon, I had a lot of fun with this ask <3

[frozen-fountain]

1 ,5, 10, 17 for the fanfic asks!

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Anything I put on the internet before 2020 is verboten here; I did make up Tomb Raider stories when I was about nine, though, based on whichever period of world history I was into at the time.

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

I usually write at my kitchen table; tea-making facilities are within easy reach, there's an array of boxes for the boy to chill in. Ideally it's still light outside, the room is moderately temperatured, and it's quiet, though living under a family of six usually means I have to create my own ambiance with low-key music and atmospheric sound.

Back when I had little netbook, I took it into the middle of the woods once and banged out an entire chapter of an original project amongst the humus and occasional bold deer. I need a way to facilitate doing something like that again.

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Surely good writing does all of that at once? But if I had to single out one, I'll choose dialogue (and inner monologue in conjunction). It's not the aspect of the craft that comes to me most naturally, but the gap between what's said and what gives lie to it is endlessly fascinating to play with. I think it's maybe the best vehicle for letting a reader become involved in constructing the story for themselves, and it's also super satisfying to feel you're getting a character's speaking voice just right.

17. What fic are you most proud of?

This is hard! Obviously I'm proud of all of them to some degree, or they wouldn't be shared. But I'll single out You Grow the Flowers Yourself, which to date is the closest I feel a completed story has ever matched the crystalline image in my head, though it's also the recent project that challenged me the least (additionally: I don't draw on numbers to determine a story's success, but I'm kind of proud that I managed to rake in fifty kudos on a piece about Elmyra Gainsborough).

Into the Night Uncharted has segments I'm not happy with and that will probably become the case for more of it as time goes on, but it also has a high number of my favourite passages I've ever written, and I'm proud of how hard I push myself with that one and how much I managed to exorcise from haunting my own head by getting it down.

I'm proud of Aperture Priority for giving a moment in the spotlight to a character (Barret) who I adore so much but who I feel gets frequently neglected by both the fandom and the post-OG source material. I think I did a good job of honouring the spirit of his arc by not providing didactic answers to any associated moral dilemmas, and there's some layered and overlapping metaphors in there that I came out really pleased with. I also got to utilise a trope/technique I'm particularly fond of (arguing with one's id through an imagined conversation with a dead loved one), and I like to think I did it well.

Lastly, my fic Penitent was a huge step out of my usual niche and a pretty out-there idea already, so I can't not mention it here. I really enjoyed writing it and definitely want to do more in that significantly darker vein in the future. I intended its final lines to be a last twist of the knife, but some readers found it reassuring or hopeful - and rather than feeling like I failed, or chickened out, I really like that the piece allowed for that ambiguity to exist.

[nastyatticman]

slashers supporting a trans/non binary S/O

kinda broad, not representative of ALL trans/enby experiences ofc.

I have headcanons written for 10+ characters at the moment, feel free to request any you like c:

here’s headcanons for Billy Lenz, Brahms Heelshire,Lester Sinclair (w/ help from @slasherfucker42069​ ), Billy Loomis & Stu Macher (Polyam!Ghostface), Angela Baker (SC2&3)

Billy Lenz

Might ask you a bunch of invasive questions when he finds out you’re trans / non binary. Probably related to sex because his mind is in the gutter. But he won’t be mad if you don’t answer all of them

“He a little confused but he got the spirit” - supports you 100% even if he’s definitely learning still

Like sometimes he’ll ask you about your opinion on a passage from Stone Butch Blues, sometimes he’ll sneak into your room from the attic to show you a niche trans meme and ask you to explain the joke to him because it looks hilarious, he just doesn’t know what it all means

Probably asks you in depth about what words you’re comfortable with him using for you, so he can update his dirty talk lmaooo. But also so that he can give you pet names you like <3

Brahms Heelshire

ALSO may ask you invasive or inappropriate questions. His knowledge about transgender / nonbinary things is very spotty since he’s coming from a very uptight Christian background. And porn. May get pouty if you don’t answer everything, but later he’d feel bad and apologize by making you tea

Ends up researching, sometimes with basic videos & sometimes reading academic essays about gender and trans history. The dude lives on TE/R/F island, sadly, so you may have to help steer him in the right direction. But he’s smart enough to find good sources once he finds a good writer or two.

He may end up taking things too seriously, and if you make jokes about gender it may confuse him at first lol. Like… What’s a malewife? Is that a specific non binary identity or…? 

After reading about all the shit that’s going on, especially in the UK, he just wants to spoil you with gender affirming gifts. May get stereotypical with it - all trans girls like knee socks / all trans guys like old spice / all non binary people wear circle lenses, right Y/N? But if you tell him what you want he’ll get it 100%. Prepare to get 10 of every kind of affirming undergarment (binders, gaffs, etc)  if you ask for one lol.

Lester Sinclair (with help from Athen!)

Doesn’t know much about trans stuff, and acknowledges that. He wants to hear what it means to you - whether you have a deep connection to your transness, or you don’t think much of it, he recognizes that every trans / non binary person is different. Lester just wants to know what works best for you so he can support you

His support mostly comes from him having a good ear for listening - and for doing everything in his power to make you happy. If you want to sit back and have some beers (or drinks of your choice) and vent about your experiences or even just telling your favorite trans jokes. And if you choose to make any big changes - hormones, surgery, getting a new wardrobe - he’s right there by your side.

It doesn’t change much about his relationship with you, unless you ask. Generally he would treat partners who are male or female or both or neither about the same. Like, his go to pet names are gender neutral - sunshine, sweetpea, lovebug, etc. 

 Similarly, he’s flexible and doesn’t really attach gender to things in your relationship, like who cooks or cleans. He’ll show off his taxidermy and dance to the radio late at night with any kind of partner. He just wants to show his love

Billy Loomis & Stu Macher / Polyam!Ghostface

Billy plays it cool like he knows everything (he doesn’t). Probably looks for pamphlets and stuff online like “what to do if my partner comes out as trans” even if he won’t admit it

Stu is like “yeah! trans rights!” the second you mention you’re trans. His knowledge around trans stuff is not the best since it’s probably informed by memes & in jokes he doesn’t fully get, but it’s good that he’s learning from other trans people

Either way they’re both supportive and learning in their own ways

Stu would also be the one to practice getting your pronouns right or to help you try out a new name. Like ordering you Starbucks / drinks / food with your new name. Also he and Billy would practice by coming up with some wild stories about you as the sole survivor of the dreaded Ghostface killer

Angela Baker

She’s also trans so she understands if you may want to keep things lowkey, but she’s also ready to help if you need support with coming out or correcting people who misgender you

(very much the “Do you want me to kill that guy for you?” friend/partner)

I can see her not necessarily hiding that she’s trans but not telling people very often, so she’s kind of stealth in some areas. Either way she respects how much information you want to disclose to people, and checks in with you to make sure she’s acting appropriately. Whether you’d rather keep childhood anecdotes about Girl/Boy Scouts to a minimum, or you want to go with her to Pride, she’ll support you either way! 

Since she’s transitioned (medically & legally) she will 100% help you if you choose to transition. Helps with any paperwork and to talk to doctors and insurance companies etc, because those can be tough

Overall doesn’t make it a big deal but she loves having a trans partner who understands her. Trans 4 Trans love is pure.

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

[asmolemmeeatyouout]

The boys with Autistic! MC! part two ! SFW

(Bc I’m self indulgent and like 5 ppl wanted it so yesyesyes)

(Had my first proper spoonie day in a while today so imma finish this after what 4 months? Whoopsie. Sorry if any of the points overlap I’ve not re read my last post, please shoot me an ask if you want anything clarified/expanded on !)

Lucifer:

Has to stop his brothers from constantly bothering you when you’re overwhelmed (they’re just worried)

You very quickly learn his office is the safest place to be when overwhelmed due to the dim lighting and the brother deterring curse on his doorway

He has a record player and SO much classical music for when you need background noise

This leads to impromptu slow dancing when you insist he needs a break and there’s music playing

If you have your own records, the *smoother ones will end up mixed in with his

*smoother as in less staccato /distracting because he is most likely working

Very much enjoys spending time in silence with you, he finds it comfortng to just exist with someone without having anything needed of him

Especially if you’re both doing your own thing, like you just being in the room with him (playing a game or reading or smthn) while he does his paperwork is so soothing to him

Mammon:

Have you seen his horns? They’re so smooth and shinyyy, a+++ stimming material

He loves head pats so he’ll willingly put his head in your lap when you watch movies

he’s very proud of his demon form but also kind of shy so it’ll take some coaxing to get him to let you touch his horns but when he sees how content it makes you? It’s his new favourite hobby letting you play with his hair and horns during movies

(That said they’re very sensitive (like him) so be gentle)

He WILL adopt your love language and mannerisms:

if you bump people he will start knocking into you constantly, (wrists, hips, shoulders, head, any and all on random repeat)

if you like to collect and give things to people he will a. Hoard them in a little shrine (that he Denys. having) and b. Start looking for things he can give you back

If you rub textures you like you’ll find him stroking your arms/face/jumper right back (sometimes with his face, but only ever in private because he feels vulnerable using such a soft form of affection)

Levithian:

You cannot tell me this man isn’t autistic

Communication is SO! EASY!

Then even If you don’t understand you can just ask. You can just ask and he’ll tell you. None of this ‘figure it out yourself’ nt bullshit

Our baby has anxiety anyway so he’s probably ‘over’ explained it before you can say anything

(Over explained in the sense of nt, personally I love it when ppl get really detailed)

In that case he gets embarrassed about how much he’s talking so it’s your turn to reassure him that he’s not boring you

The solace you get in realising you like all of his autistic traits soothes your own insecurities

That being said your anxiety (if you have it) is matchy matchy so don’t expect him to talk to the cashier for you

He’s very chill with you being non verbal because either he’s absorbed in his own game/anime/show or it means there’s more room for him to talk about his interests

That being said if your special interests/ hyperfixations don’t line up on any given day? The bickering over who’s turn it is to infodump gets intense (this is the one source of all your arguments)

All the other brothers are kind of terrified/jealous of your relationship, especially when they see you talking about a shared special interest because you talk rapid fire and very in-depth. to them it’s almost like you’re talking in code or another language because they know all the individual words but what the everloving fuck are you on about

Asmodeus:

Has specific outfits he wears when he wants you to hug him (which is always). They’re made out of the softest material, or any clothing of his you’ve expressed a texture interest in.

Finds it so amusing when you come rushing over to rub your face against his chest bc mmmmm softsoftsoft

Likes to text you in the morning to see how you’re feeling (and how sensory sensitive you are because god forbid his outfit with chains and jangles stops him from seeing you)

Understands better than Anyone that affection and love can be shown in a whole barrage of ways not just physically

Figures out how you show affection faster than any of the other brothers

Immediately starts reciprocating it (partly bc he’s selfishly trying to make you love him most)

Satan:

Will learn about your special interests so he can engage you on the topic

Is the ONLY person in the house you can talk about any special interest with, no matter how niche because he loves learning (although he does prefer the *academic* side of them rather than pop culture but he will listen to both)

*academic* as in something involving learning about something or crafting or *how* to do something, not just like, maths

You’re pretty much the only person who can keep up with him in terms of knowledge and enthusiasm (even if it’s only for very specific things) and thus you become the person he talks to about his interests

Originally kind of annoyed by how absentminded you are (because you forget several dates) but once you get settled into a routine he starts to find it cute how habitual you are, and then realises it could work to his advantage.

He then schedules a date into your weekly routine (or biweekly depending on your energy levels) so you start to get upset if it’s missed bc it’s part of your routine. (Satan is ridiculously smart and is very much willing to manipulate your routine to his (and yours) advantage, he is a demon after all)

Beelzebub:

Gives the best squishes. He’s just so big he can literally envelope you (in other news he is terrified of hurting you so he’s very nervous at first, he’s used to huggin ppl very gently bc he is a muscle mountain)

Maybe don’t use chew stims around him (unless he’s eating) because seeing you use them will either make him hungry, or he’ll ask to see it and oops it’s been swallowed hope you didn’t want that back (he’s very apologetic he really didn’t mean to but it was in his mouth and chewed before he could think)

Literally the kindest man in the universe, if you have issues with shame or *guilt* (especially if it creeps outta nowhere or it relates to not being able to do something) he will a. Reassure you and give you cuddles until you feel okay (or one on one bonding time if you’re too touch sensitive) then b. Go help with whatever task was too much so you don’t have to worry

Belphagor:

Have I mentioned the stuffies? This boy definitely has a stash of soft toys that all have names and personalities. This originally stemmed from the fact he was locked alone in an attic for a year, he needed some form of company or he was gonna go crazy, and sleeping alone is meh in his opinion. But then he became attached and after you showed him yours? And you weren’t ashamed of your teddy bears or how much you loved them he confided in you about his. (And you had a tea party)

Problems sleeping ? (Me too bud it’s 3.44 am lol) nonononno baby boy has got you, just snuggle up to him and you’ll be snoozing in no time (I HC that being around belphagor just makes you a little sleepy and the longer you’re there the stronger the urge to sleep gets)

You’re at rad (or out in public and can’t leave) and get overstimmed? Belphie has got you! He keeps sunglasses on him so he can secretly sleep when he’s not supposed to. Also (imo) he’s the king of hoodies, both his main outfits have a hood (and you can’t convince me he doesn’t wear one of them over his uniform as soon as lucifer dips), my boy will slip his hoodie on you and wrap you in a hug to get you away from the noise/sights

(I am now too tired to write anymore, hope yall enjoyed!)

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD OFFICIAL VISUAL FANBOOK ー Interview Vol. 1 feat. Saki Ito

Source: DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD Official Visual Fanbook

Release date: 2013

Huge thank you to @keithvalentinex​ for providing the raw scans!

SECTION 1: Q&A

Q1. How did you feel when a sequel game got green light?

A: Not only were we fortunate to receive many passionate messages and feedback from the players, but we also received the news of an anime adaption alongside a game sequel, so amidst the joy, I also remember a distinct feeling of responsiblity and pressure.

Q2. Does the feedback you received from the players reflect in any parts of the game?

A: The series features characters who all have very strong and distinct character traits, so they tend to stand out based solely on these specific elements, which is what made us reflect upon the scenario parts of the previous game. Therefore, in the sequel, we decided to flesh them out so we let Idea Factory know that we would like to create sceranio’s on events of their pasts, so we can give a better understanding of how they think as individuals. We received a positive response but this ultimately required quite a bit of scenarios so later both me and Nakamura suffered because of it. (lol) However, even though there is still room for improvement, I would like to think that we succeeded in creating scenario’s in which the players will get to know them on a deeper level.

Q3. Who did you struggle most with when creating the setting for the new characters?

A: Ruki. Both in terms of design and personality. At first we thought of having him be on an almost equal footing with Karlheinz in terms of power and status, so basically the character who stands at the very top of the Mukami family, with everyone following his lead as they have no other choice but to acknowledge his superiority . But he’s a Do-S...We played with various ideas like that.

Q4. What did the process of creating these characters look like?

A: After settling on their visuals and personalities, we moved on to building a set image of them. I was impressed that at the time of initial recording where we would add the voices to these characters, there was already an agreement amongst the production staff about how they viewed these brothers inside their minds. 

Q5. Were there any moments during the recording which left a strong impression on you?

A: I am sure everyone feels the same in this regard, but I was very much impressed by Midorikawa Hikaru (Ayato’s VA) and his ability to voice a single line in so many different ways and apply minor adjustment time after time. I was baffled how the same phrase could be voiced in so many different ways, and while this may be embarrassing to admit as part of the production staff, I felt as if I could learn a lot from him.

Q6. How did you approach the blood-sucking scenes?

A: We start by creating a fixed image inside our heads of how each character would suck someone’s blood. However, we initially opted to leave things up to the casted voice actors. We figured that if their voicing was somewhat off from how we envisioned it, we would guide them into the desired direction afterwards, but so far that has yet to happen! The voice actors seem to understand that the blood-sucking scenes are a huge selling point of the Diabolik Lovers franchise, so they anticipated on this and had already thought about which personal quirks they want to include in these scenes before the recording. Afterwards they would tell us things such as ‘I wanted to make it sound a little dirty’ or ‘I imagined ____ would suck blood like this’, showing us their effort to voice these characters while thinking about their personalities, which is why we - the production staff - were able to feel the unique traits of these boys through their performance as well, I believe. I cannot express with words just how greatful I am for everyone’s excellent voice work. 

Q7. When writing the scenario’s and the character dialogue, were there any conscious changes you made from the first game?

A: In the first game, there were very little interactions between the different characters, but with the introduction of the Mukami brothers, we focused on these kind of interactions where one of the Sakamaki brothers would fight with one of the Mukami brothers. Additionally, this would allow for us to express the changes in their feelings towards the main character.

Q8. What did you struggle the most with while writing the script?

A: There were just so many different scenarios to write, I recall feeling as if there was no end to it. Every time you think you’re done adjusting one part, you have to move on to the next and by the time you’re done with that, something just doesn’t feel right about the first scenario again...This game includes many scenarios about the characters’ pasts so there would be times where we suddenly went ‘...Hold on!? I feel like the previous scene doesn’t quite make sense anymore...,’ So we’d have to go back and make sure everything remained consistent.

Q9. Which character caused you the most problems while writing the script?

A: Every single one. In case of the Sakamaki brothers, all because of the same reason. For starters, despite this being a sequel game, the intial setting remains the same as before with the main character having arrived at the Sakamaki manor, , so we were worried whether or not the audience would accept this without it feeling weird or off. The Mukami brothers are then added on top of that, so we struggled a lot expressing the wavering feelings of the main character. Each of the Mukami brothers has their own dark past and setting which we came up with beforehand, so it was very difficult to then later add the element of romance to this.

Q10. Is there a character who underwent drastic changes compared to the last game?

A: No. Although the ‘MORE, BLOOD’ games feature the Sakamaki brothers struggling with an immense ‘thirst for blood’ which is different from our previous approach, so we hope this allows the players to enjoy a different side of them.

Q11. The endings are now named ‘Vampire Ending’, ‘Manservant Ending’ and ‘Brute’ Ending. Could you tell us what kind of thought you put into these names?

A: They do each have their own fixed image attached to them. We divided them into the ‘Vampire Ending’ which is supposed to be the most natural ending. The ‘Manservant Ending’ which emphasizes the element of sadism the strongest and lastly the ‘Brute Ending’ which is the most violent. Depending on the character, there might be minor changes such as the main character developing sadistic tendencies herself or it being another character who grows violent. We hope the audience will enjoy this wide array of endings.

Q12. What are parts which have greatly improved or parts you want us to focus on in comparison to the first game?

A: My apologies for repeating myself, but it would have to be the scenarios. Also please pay attention to the upgraded sprite artwork for everyone, as well as the addition of the sprites for the brothers as children!

Q13. Why do you think the series has received such a great amount of support?

A: During the development of the first set of CDs, we made them with a specific niche audience in mind, so never did we expect the franchise would grow this large. We truly are grateful. We would like to believe that Satoi-sama’s illustration are the biggest contributor in this case. I was already acquaintanced with Satoi-sama at that point but due to certain circumstances, we weren’t able to work on a project together. However, when the development for Diabolik Lovers started, I immediately reached out to her. I believe that the way she draws these Do-S Vampires as handsome guys is what the fans enjoy the most!

Q14. Please leave a message for the fans.

A: First of all, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. If it wasn’t for you guys’ reactions, we wouldn’t have been able to deliver this much content. I won’t go as far as to tell you to continue to loving ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’ and its characters forever...! Even if it’s somewhere in the very back of your mind, I’d be happy if you could at least hold onto the fond memories of these characters. Honestly, thank you so so much.

SECTION 2: THEIR FAVORITE EPISODES

Sakamaki brothers: Laito’s Vampire Ending. It conveys that feeling of loving someone, yet still keeping you on the edge of your seat as he doesn’t quite fully want to admit to his own feelings, even though you can tell that he does properly love the main character, which made me feel joyful inside.

Mukami brothers: Rather than one specific scene, I loved the interactions between the Mukami brothers. When they are all enjoying a meal together, they would fight over the food, or Kou would make a fuss because he wants to eat Vongole Bianco. I found it cute how they would talk in a way you’d expect from normal high school boys. 

SECTION 3: SAKI ITO CHOOSES ー SITUATION-DEPENDENT CHARACTER SELECT

Who would you choose in these situations? What’s the developer’s opinion?

S1. To sleep together with?

Best: Shuu, he probably wouldn’t bother me.

Worst: Reiji, he seems like the type to get upset if you don’t keep perfectly still while sleeping.

S2. To go on a trip together with?

Best: Ruki, I feel like he would come fully prepped. 

Worst: Azusa, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my trip if I get hurt because of him.

S3. To eat together with?

Best: Shuu, I feel like our eating styles would match.

Worst: Reiji, I’d constantly feel nervous.

S4. To study with?

Best: Ruki, I feel like he’d be able to explain things in a comprehensive manner.

Worst: Laito because he might just blow air into my ear all of a sudden.

S5. To go on a date with?

Best: Kou, he probably knows all the good places so it could be fun.

Worst: Kanato, I can’t stand the thought of him suddenly lashing out at me.

S6. To play a video game with?

Best: Yuma, I feel like he wouldn’t be the best at it, but it’d still be enjoyable regardless.

Worst: Subaru, he would destroy the console!

S7. To play sports with?

Best: Kou, I can imagine his sweat sparkling in the light as it bounces off him.

Worst: Reiji, he seems stiff.

S8. To go on a drive with?

Best: Ayato, it just seems fun.

Worst: Yuma, he strikes me as a speed devil. 

[secretgamergirl]

A Little Horrifying Primer on Transphobes

Some time ago, I put together a Little Fact Checking Primer on Trans People, as a basic resource for disabusing people of some of the many completely ridiculous yet absurdly widespread beliefs about trans people that simply have no basis whatsoever in reality. And wouldn’t you know it, every single lie exposed in that primer is not only still widely believed, but is presently being used as a basis to sign some absolutely horrific human rights abuses into law. So it’s high time I follow that up, in this case focused more on who keeps actively spreading these lies and why. I’m going to try and keep things as light as I can here, but we’re going to be looking at the most monstrous side of human nature, so apologies in advance if this is a dark read.

First, let me just note that there are two things I don’t plan to do in this piece. I’m not going to waste time debunking the arguments of the people I’m highlighting (much of this is already covered in my earlier primer, others have done the work in cases where I haven’t, and frankly these people’s claims should be self-evidently utter nonsense to begin with). I am also going to be very selective in what I link to, or even share related images of, as I would frankly not like to fill a post on a blog I generally try to keep safe for all audiences with media directly dealing with, for instance, child sexual assault, and much of the relevant information also involves stochastic terrorism against innocent people, and I would prefer not to throw more fuel onto such fires.

Transphobes lie constantly, about everything.

To some degree this is obvious. We’re talking about people who scaremonger about the possibilities of trans women dominating competitive sports and assaulting people in restrooms, despite the status quo already reflecting the conditions they insist would make these inevitibilities for decades and centuries respectively, and their grim visions never once having come to pass, and also constantly insisting that the woman in the photo below is actually a man, going further to say this is evident to anyone giving her the merest glance.

It goes beyond that though. There’s at least a little plausible deniablity in claims like this, or that “science is on their side” if they were simply uninformed about the world they live in, never actually looking into what laws exist, what science actually says, and never actually meeting a trans person or even seeing a picture of one of us. I’m talking really bold lies here. Like wholecloth fabricating a story that a convicted murder was trans, including anecdotes about wigs dresses and a planned name change, in a major newspaper. Or to cite an old favorite of mine, the time a pack of bigots walked up to a crowd of people peacefully picketing a transphobic legal proposal, started roughing them up and taking closeup photos of members of the crowd to stalk online when they got home, got sufficiently riled up for one to straight up assault an innocent person half her size, filmed the whole thing, uploaded it to youtube, and used stills of that assault as acomanying photos when they went home to write articles about the assailant being a “grandmother” attacked by rowdy trans women. And yes, they did monkey’s paw my wish to see that specific image on newspapers. Interesting side note, when it came to real public light that J.K. Rowling endorsed this sort of hatred, it was because she accidentally pasted some profanity laden rambling about how the imagined moral character of the other party in that incident, years after the fact, into a post praising a child’s fan art of her work.

To be a little less niche, transphobes can’t get enough of spreading the lie that the young fellow in this photo is a girl. Specifically a trans girl, providing proof that all their scaremongering about the dastardly threat of trans girls in competitive sports has finally come to pass.

To be fully clear, that’s a man (or a boy if you want to split hairs about him being 17 in that photo). Mack Beggs. A rather insidious choice for this sort of story, considering the actual context for that photo. See, Beggs attended high school in Texas, during a (still ongoing as I write this) period wherein that particular state had caved to this exact sort of propaganda, and in order to head off a wholly imagined wave of trans girls competing on girls’ sports teams, and enacted a law mandating that in all such competitions must compete under whatever gender is stated on their birth certificates. And as it happens, the first, and to my knowledge ONLY time this has come up was with Beggs here, who again, is a man, as no one with a grip on reality could argue against, has “female” on his birth certificate. Which is another way of saying he is a trans man. The guys in the same boat as trans women who we talk about a whole hell of a lot less because their existence is extremely inconvenient to the majority of transphobic propaganda. Case in point. And this is all information it is really impossible to come across if you’re coming across this photo in any sort of respectable source. Take this story, which is as unambiguous about this as you can get. And yet, in the very comments section of that story, there they are. Carrying on like this story about a trans guy, forced by a transphobic law to compete as a girl, which he absolutely did not want, and received horrific threats over, using phrases like “female to male” and bringing up that he was assigned female at birth and is on testosterone-based HRT, is about a trans woman cheating the system. Or to quote word for word, “Now also transgender female want to be male also compete in female sport. biological born“ That’s not “being confused,” that’s standing next to you in a white desert and complaining about being adrift in a black ocean, bald-faced, not even trying to be convincing just make a power play, lying through one’s teeth.

I could spend this whole article on just this point. Lying about who they are, various people’s falsified credentials, whole websites full of “anonymous parents of children who think they’re trans” turning out to be one single woman documenting the abuse of her very much trans son, or of course the people behind the whole “bathroom bill” panic candidly admitting it was all based on utter fiction. I do have other points to cover though.

Transphobes are firmly entrenched in the media.

It is extremely difficult to find oneself in a position of having to explain to people that a particular group of people is effectively in control of press outlets, as that is rather classically a claim conspiracy theorists absolutely love to toss around at various marginalized groups (including trans people hilariously enough, but of course the most common and lingering version of this is the antisemitic variant). I really can’t get around it here though. Specifically in the U.K., you honestly can say that transphobes control the media. I already touched on this with the assault case I mentioned above and the fabricated story about the murderer, but this is a pretty well-documented situation. I mean, even The Guardian calls out The Guardian on this, and that’s the outlet that gets the most attention because it’s the one with the most otherwise respected name, but every paper in the country has been running transphobic propaganda pieces on a weekly if not daily basis for years now, and while they do get reprimanded by watchdog groups and have mass walk-outs over the worst of it, it’s not like there’s some governing body with the authority to step in about it. Meanwhile the BBC is constantly inviting diehard zealots like Graham Linehan to news programs where he compares being trans to being a nazi, and hosting debates where someone just sits down and repeatedly chants the word “penis” at a trans woman.

Things are better in the rest of the world, but we still have right-wing creeps like Jesse Singal both writing horrific propaganda pieces (we’ll get back to that one) and blackballing trans writers out of covering trans issues ourselves (and personally stalking the hell out of those of us who try). We’ve got our Joe Rogans and Tucker Carlsons out there (no way in hell I’m linking videos here, have a real information link and a still).

The line between diehard transphobes and straight-up nazis basically does not exist.

What even is there to say here? You can easily poke around havens for nazi activity for yourself and compare the particular unique vocabulary used there to the primary bastion of anti-trans hate speech on the internet (the “feminism” section of what was originally a site for parenting tips before violent fascists took the forums over) or just peruse the follows of the thousands of people I’ve blocked on social media and see if you can sort out a clear division in the networks of channers with frog avatars and the accounts with names like GoodieXXrealwoman, or you can read up on Gab and Spinster, the two twitter alternatives that are just different portals to the same server, set up by the same guy. Maybe do some research into “the LGB Alliance,” or WoLF but any way you slice it the only real difference to be found is the general purpose nazis take a little time off now and then to watch borderline pedophilic anime and the really dedicated transphobes think to use language that sounds vaguely well-educated and left-leaning. I mean, this came from the “feminist” side of the fence:

And not to belabor the point here, but the ones claiming to be a bunch of “feminist mums” sure do let the mask slip any time they’re confronted with the fact that “women” includes black women, and oh just have a whole thread about all the weird conspiratory theories these people have about how trans people’s whole existence is some sort of Jewish plot for world domination. I swear a few months ago they were all passing around a story about some bank having an above average number of trans employees and they were all just “and we all know who controls the banks, right?” about it.

Transphobes endorse an awful lot of people who are openly pro-pedophila.

This is the part where I am really loath to link the many many specific examples I have on hand. Or to talk about this at all for reasons of good taste. Or, for that matter, to talk about this in a tumblr post when there’s an ongoing problem of people with backgrounds strongly tied to this site making baseless accusations of pedophilia against every queer person they can find, so let me be very clear just what I’m talking about while avoiding anything too graphic.

That’s James Cantor. Transphobes love him for being one of the closest things they have to a scientist on their side. And I am featuring him in a screenshot here showing that he is followed by current queen of the transphobes J.K. Rowling, while speaking to both another big name in transphobic circles, Debra Soh, and based on their names, what I’m guessing is at least one straight-up nazi. And in case you think “the P” he’s talking about adding to LGBT (or “GLBT” as weird anti-queer bigots who also have issues with women often write it) might stand for “poly” or “pan” he’s all too happy to clarify that.

This is the entire thrust of Cantor’s work and life. He is the world’s biggest pedophile rights advocate. He wants it declassified as a mental disorder, all stigma on it removed, and tirelessly pushes forward the idea that the majority of.. people who feel compelled to sexually assault children are good people who present no potential harm to anyone and should in fact be lauded.

I am not generally one to claim that someone with a PhD is spewing out questionable garbage with regard to their field, but the reason I am aware of Cantor at all is that other transphobes keep trying to hold up a particular post on his blog as "a study” (which it is not) that offers “proof” (in the form of a blurry jpeg of basically some random numbers) of some ridiculous quackery about how trans kids will “grow out of it” if exposed to conversion therapy (another way of saying torture), which Cantor himself seems to be pushing, so I am somewhat skeptical of his academic chops. And I am, of course, REALLY suspicious that all these other bigots gravitate to him purely because they’re that desperate to find anyone with a PhD in anything that backs them up against literally every scientist in a relative field, to the point that they merely forgive his particular advocacy they are plainly all aware of, particularly when such a common fig leaf used by transphobes is “keeping children safe from sexual deviants.”

And of course, Cantor is most often invoked when coming to the defense of Kenneth Zucker. This Kenneth Zucker.

Those are separate papers. Zucker isn’t controversial though for organizing panels to discuss how attractive people agree small children are (at least not exclusively). Mostly, he’s known for running a conversion therapy center which subjected gay and trans children to various sorts of torture in an effort to “fix” them, which at least for those trans "patients” I have spoken with involved a fair amount of having them strip completely naked and talking a lot about their genitals.

Zucker is something of a controversial figure with the transphobic scene, as they are extremely on board with his sexual torture of queer children, but he does actual work (for some value of the term) involving trans people and thus is not able to commit as fully as they would prefer to making life horrible for trans people, due to a professional obligation to acknowledge reality now and then. As an aside, the similarly positioned Ray Blanchard, while not to my knowledge particularly interested in the attractiveness of children, lives in a similar purgatory of trying to reconcile his career, bigotry, and sexual hangups, yielding compromises like this:

Of course, that’s just looking at the straws transphobes grasp at when looking for scientific credibility. Real leaders of the movement include Germaine Greer, author of The Beautiful Boy, which is about what you are afraid it might be, and features a very young child in a cover feature he did not consent to posing for. Or Julie Bindel, who among other things is rather infamous for writing whole articles on subjects like whether a teenage girl she came across maybe has a huge penis you can totally see if you really squint at her skirt. Again, I will not share a link to go along with that one.

Transphobes terrorize and attempt to defund charities and other unambiguously good organizations.

Graham Linehan, previously best known for cowriting some sitcoms and possibly spending a year angling to get into my pants so awkwardly I didn’t pick up on it is now best known for trying to pull the plug on a children’s charity, in a story that somehow also involves Donkey Kong. Well, and the interview about nazis. And possibly the other interview about “defending me from nazis” until it got into his head that I might not be as young and hot as he imagined. Rather not link to a far right extremist youtube channel though.

There’s also a current effort to replace Stonewall (an organization named after the location where a pair of trans women kicked off a riot which is generally agreed to be the start of the LGBT+ rights movement) as the UK’s primary LGBT+ rights organization with the “LGB Alliance.” The hate group mentioned above, with the skull face and the rifle. Closest I can find to an article on that effort on short notice that isn’t propaganda.

Transphobes paper areas in truly disgusting propaganda.

I don’t want to directly link to grown adults skulking around children’s playgrounds and bathrooms plastering surfaces with mass printed stickers of crudely drawn penises, but would encourage you to read this very long post, being sure to load all the images, to really understand how deeply strange this behavior gets.

Finally, I cannot stress this enough, this really extreme behavior I’m citing, and the specific people involved in the examples I’m giving, these aren’t random cranks on the fringe of things. The people going on televised panel discussions, writing up news stories, and testifying before lawmakers in efforts to pass horrifically discriminatory if not literally life-endangering laws (there is a major ongoing effort to legally end all medical care for trans people, and I don’t just mean care directly relating to being trans) are literally the same people involved in the sexualization of children, nazi collaborations, and roving gangs assaulting people in the street. At a bare minimum I urge people, when booking guests and handing out writing contracts, to do background checks and see if they’re platforming actual terrorists. If we could actually bring legal consequences to bear against the worst of this, that would be great too. As things stand though, the whole world is just consistently citing a bunch of racist, woman-hating, serial liars with no real credentials, and questionable attitudes towards the sexual abuse of children, as “trusted experts” and refusing to seat actual trans people or people who have legitimately committed lifetimes to academic and practical work with trans people any seats at the table.

[straycatstalking]

SOME LINKS/MANUFACTURERS TO IDW/MTMTE FIGURES:

Note: This list is for self reference and I am not endorsed by any of these companies. It’s also for shits and giggles because many of the manufacturers are Third Party (aka not officially licensed) and as I mentioned in my previous post…. I love the terrible names the figures get in a bid to escape trademark infringement. My brief descriptions probably doesn’t do the manufacturers/companies justice, so if you come across this post in search of figures, please check them out!

It’s a very long post, so I’m going to be cutting this post past the first manufacturer.

A small disclaimer that I am also kind of a newbie to Transformers and my research may be limited, so do forgive any factual inaccuracies and such. This is also an IDW/MTMTE specific list and THERE MAY BE SPOILERS. Additionally, I’m exclusively using promotional images from the companies (aside from my own pictures).

FLAME TOYS

http://www.flametoy.com/index.php?route=information/information&information_id=22

https://www.facebook.com/flametoyshk/

Their products can be viewed on TFSource and BigBadToyStore too among a few other sites! They’re also officially licensed by Hasbro.

They carry a wide range of figures including a few really nice model kits that are based off the IDW designs. From what I understand, they have two (?) prominent types of toys for Transformers, the first being Kuro Kara Kuri (High-end, Preassembled figures, usually on the pricier end) and Furai Model (Model Kits which you have to assemble yourself).

They’ve released IDW figures such as (and not limited to):

Kuro Kara Kuri Tarn (I really love this one, it’s REALLY pretty)

Furai Model Megatrons (Both the Decepticon and Autobot versions)

Here’s my Autobot version Model kit that I lined! It was my first kit so I’m very happy with it :^) Feat. McDonald’s Cyberverse Starscream

Kuro Kara Kuri Megatron

Furai Model Drifts (ClassicTM Drift doesn’t seem to be sold anymore, but they’re recently released a Shattered Glass Drift!)

Furai Model Coptimus

Furai Model Ultra Magnus (I’m very confused about this one, and I’m not even sure if it’s because I haven’t finished the entirety of the IDW comics. Magnus, why do you look like that…? Nonetheless, it specifies that it’s an IDW ver. figure. It’s this guy below. WHO ARE YOU??)

Furai Model Starscream (It’s not explicitly stated to be IDW and I could be wrong, but his proportions suggest IDW rather than G1? Many of his features seems in line with his IDW self compare to his other continuity counterparts, so I’m putting him here just in case. I don’t think he is officially sold anymore as he and Drift are older figures)

They also have some very exciting IDW stuff announced (There’s a Furai Model Rodimus Kit that is supposed to be released in July 2021 and I’m writing this at the end of July haha… so I don’t know when it’ll be out. I’m very hyped for him and he’ll probably be shipped out sometime this year probably-):

Kuro Kara Kuri Cyclonus (The concept art is ✨gorgeous✨, no sculpt released yet though)

Kuro Kara Kuri Rodimus (They are spoiling IDW Rodimus fans, he is also✨ gorgeous✨)

MASTERMIND CREATIONS

https://www.mastermind-creations.com/collection.html

https://www.facebook.com/CreationsMastermind/

Their products can be viewed on TFSource and BigBadToyStore too among a few other sites, and I’d recommend it as it seems hard to see their whole collection on mobile. They’re a third party manufacturer.

✨Here’s where the fun begins!✨

They have a surprisingly huge (and niche..?) range of IDW figures and they all have wAcKy names.

Some of their IDW stuff includes:

THE WHOLE DECEPTION JUSTICE DIVISION?? (Yes, even Nickel and Dominus Freaking Ambus/The Pet. This whole concept is so wild to me and I’m still staring in awe that Kaon (Dubbed Anarchus, by the way) turns into his chair alt-mode. How cool is that?! I’ve mentioned it in my last post, but Tarn is called “Kultur” and I wheeze at his stupid name)

LOOK AT IT!!! Anyway, back to the list (including their knockoff names)

Chromedome and Rewind (Mnemo and Motif)

Three Rodimus Figures, Classic, Lost Light and Shattered Glass with a Moustache (Calidus, Calidus Asterisk Mode and Calidus Shadow Ghost. Amen.)

Wing (Aero Alpha)

Getaway (Exitus. I will never get over his name.)

Megatron (Tyrantron)

Drift (Stray)/Deadlock (Ater Beta)

Thunderclash (Collisus)

Ravage (Jaguar) (Completely unrelated but I should mention that they sell a cage specifically for Ravage)

LET HIM OUT

Impactor (Spartan)

Mentis (Rung)

Rung appears to an upcoming release and I’ve rebooted the promotional pictures from another blog awhile ago (it probably contributed to this downward spiral into looking at third party figures) but here’s one that I found! Everything about it seems wonderful. LOOK AT THE SCOOTER!! HE IS ROLLING

And these are just the people I recognise off the bat! They have many other transformers figures too and it’s a gold mine of pretty figures that are quite accurate to the source material (I really like their face sculpt for Rodimus). The names to make fun of are really just an added plus.

GCREATIONS

https://www.facebook.com/gcreationchina/

I didn’t link their “official” page mentioned on Facebook as it’s a link to Weibo (Chinese social media site) and it leads to a staff members account rather than an official company account cataloging their products. Feel free to take a look at it though! I’m not sure if they’re still active as their last post on Facebook is from years ago. Their products can be viewed on TFSource and BigBadToyStore too among a few other sites, and once again they’re a third party site.

Their range of toys are pretty small for IDW but I thought they were absolutely worth a mention because the figures are great.

The two IDW figures (along with their pseudo names) they have are:

Prowl (Rebel)

I’m inserting a picture of him because man I love this figure. He looks like an asshole. I want it.

Drift (Ronin)

I don’t have much to say other than that their fake names are well done and so are their figures. I mainly know about this company as I was looking for an IDW Prowl figure and they delivered so excellently. Let me simp in peace.

MAKE TOYS

http://www.maketoys.jp

https://www.facebook.com/Maketoys/

The link to their official page seems to be broken for me, but I put it here in case. Their products can be viewed on TFSource, third party site, you know the drill.

They have a small range of IDW/MTMTE Toys but boy are they absolute madlads in naming their figures.

Here’s the line up:

Swerve (TRASH-TALK. HIS NAME IS ACTUALLY TRASH-TALK HAHAHDJWJSHS)

He doesn’t come with it, but they’ve got a My First Blaster TM add-on for him and that’s pretty neat.

Tailgate and Cyclonus (Rear End and Hurricane. How does one top REAR END?)

It comes with a cute panicking expression too úwù I’m actually tempted now. The reviews on TFSource also decided to use their fake names to refer to them and I can’t get through reading them with a straight face.

AND SO WE’VE COME TO THE END OF THE LIST. PHEW. If you made it to the end, thanks for reading!! I had a blast making it despite it taking so long to compile and research and I hope it was enjoyable despite the chaos of it all :^)

ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR READING

TILL ALL ARE ONE!

[viridianprose]

It started out simply enough.

When I was a kid I fell in love with books. I was reading chapter books by five years old, I read the Bible in a month, front to back, when I was ten, and I read Gone With the Wind in a week when I was twelve. I devoured books so rapidly, there's no telling how much money my parents spent buying me novels to read.

Naturally, I started writing my own stories. Short fiction that I would share with friends who would give me the time to babble about the characters in my imagination. I wasn't great at writing, but the stories were there, and they weren't bad. They were about fairies or vampires or ghosts, and there was always some sort of romantic intrigue--something I knew nothing about as a teenager that never had any hint of interest from any boy that lived in reality.

Of all of my stories of adventure and darkness and love the one about Johnny and Jenny was the one I always came back to.

It came to me when I would sit in my room alone, headphones on, with a stolen cassette tape of my dad's, Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell. It was my own personal sensory isolation chamber; those songs blaring in my ears, in the dark, my eyes closed as I dreamed the "musical" in my head.

There Johnny would be waiting on the front steps of his apartment building, an Americana dream guy. He always looked the same in his black clothes, leather jacket, and motorcycle boots. He would be there looking bored and lonely, even though he was surrounded by his friends, the boys, who laughed and joked with each other as though they didn't have a care in the world.

And then, like a summer dream, Jenny would walk by. The lonely angel who just couldn't stand being away from the man she'd been watching over for years. She'd catch Johnny's eye but he'd steel his resolve not to get involved with her until demons spirited her away to their underworld.

Then Johnny would get his Jenny back, no matter what Hell he'd have to face.

Over and over I'd listen to that album, and over and over the story was there to escape into, but I never could write it, no matter how hard I tried. I started half a dozen times only to become frustrated with myself.

Johnny changed from a regular guy to an angel himself who was on the run, then he changed again to being a demon. He and Jenny went from strangers to lovers separated to borderline enemies. Nothing ever worked, and I never could quite capture the magic of that world that kept pre-teen and teenage me safe when peers were breaking my spirit and life wasn't the magic I wanted it to be.

Years went by and I'd decided that not only was I not going to write the next great American novel, I wasn't going to write anything that would see the light of day, and it definitely wouldn't be the niche tale of demons and angels in a city on fire.

In 2017 I happened to be up in the wee hours of the morning, getting my youngest daughter back to sleep. She was only a few months old, and I was her sole source of comfort, so awake I was, scrolling through documentaries on Amazon, when I came across one about the New York City Blackout of 1977. There was a serial killer on the loose, a massive heatwave, and the city was on fire.

That sounded very familiar. The song wasn't from my beloved Bat Out of Hell II, but rather from the first record, equally as loved, Bat Out of Hell. The sirens were screaming and the fires were howling, and then something in my head clicked. There was a blackout that started the whole story. That's what Johnny has to fight through, in part, to save Jenny.

I told myself that had to be part of the story, that the city itself was more important than I'd ever realized, and I told myself, "One day, if I write it, that's how it'll have to start."

On June 6th, 2018 I wrote the beginning of the story that would inexplicably, magically, strangely, startlingly change my life.

Johnny sat on the front steps of the five-floor walk-up he lived in, sipping on a beer.

That was the beginning of a grand adventure for Johnny and, as it turns out, for me.

[a-brighter-yellow]

Tagged by my nearests and dearests @crinkle-eyed-boo and @queenofquiet17— thank you!

RULES: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work.

Tagging @lululawrence @runaway-train-works @uhohmorshedios @absoloutenonsense and @cocoalou to share theirs!

It just so happens that I only posted five things this year, so that part’s easy. Here goes:

1. More of a Comment Than a Question – I thought I’d take a break after finishing up my Big Bang, but I got an idea for a shorter fic during a panel at a fan con and it just wouldn’t leave me alone. This was probably the least painful story birth I’ve ever experienced. I knew everything I wanted it to be as soon as I opened the doc and it just flowed out. I know that setting so well that building the world was easy, and it ended up being my tribute to a really important part of my life that had formerly been separate from all of this. Plus, I had THE perfect role in it for @crinkle-eyed-boo. I’m also rather a fan of my own smut here. 

2. What You're Signing On For – My very favorite O.C. pairing is Ryan and Taylor (if you’re a real one, you know), and I was determined to fit Harry and Louis into the Season 4 French ex-husband storyline if it killed me. I’m proud of this one because they’re not obvious analogs, but I think I kept the core of them true-to-life while deviating a little from the standard fic characterizations of the boys. I ESPECIALLY love the relationship between Harry and Niall here, especially the detail that Harry “helped” Niall practice French kissing before he went about wooing Zayn. 

3. You, Who Never Arrived – Rom-coms are NOT easy to adapt, because we’re much more accepting of unrealistic shenanigans onscreen. So I knew there would be a lot of plotting issues if I was going to take on Only You (which is also a product of its time). But it was also one of those situations where there were scenes I couldn’t WAIT to write, so putting in the work wasn’t even a question. I adore this Louis – his hope, his determination, the way he stands up for himself even you know that he’s destined to end up with Harry anyway. I love how Niall supports him through thick and thin but also always tells him the truth. I had so much fun putting a spin on the soulmate trope and dropping in clues here and there. And though I can’t take credit for inventing the twists that I kept from the source material, I did make them work in this medium and it’s always so gratifying to get a comment from someone who doesn’t know the movie and says they were legitimately surprised by certain reveals.

4. The Stories They're Not In – Listen. I love writing Shiall. I just do. I know it’s niche, I know we’re a small but mighty readership, but I’m not going to stop. (And if you read and/or write Shiall, please know that I LOVE YOU TOO.) So when @heartbreakweatherficfest came along, there was never any doubt in my mind that they’d be my stars. I knew I wanted “San Francisco,” because it inspired the tone and the feels that I was looking to capture, and I knew I wanted to write from Shawn’s POV so that we could see Niall through his eyes, but I went back and forth a few times about what the actual storyline would be. It came together on yet another day when I was ranting to Kim about the real love story of Rocketman – Elton and Bernie – and I realized I could essentially fix it so that they, through Shiall, could actually consummate things. IDK what it is about them, but my instinct is always to go really romantic and soft with Shawn and Niall, and that felt especially right with two artistic soulmates. I think about these characters a lot still and all the things they went on to create together. <3

5. I always feel like somebody's watching me – I had such a blast reading all the @1dtrickortreatfest fics last year, it seemed like a no-brainer to challenge myself to actually write one. In my actual real life, I’m an editor, so my brain is always looking at my own writing with an eye to which words and sentences are unnecessary. (Which is why it would take me literal years to write a long fic.) In that way, having a precise word count is right smack in my wheelhouse. Making the story idea work within the parameters was like putting a puzzle together, and I think I nailed my goal of writing, essentially, the opening scene of a ‘90s erotic thriller.

[casmoments]

Marriage of Convenience; part 5

Prompt: “Arranged Marriage” + Imagine Castiel fucking you with the handle of his Angel blade. + “the reader is helping Sam and Dean over the phone with research on their current case, and all the while Cas is kissing and touching and licking and sucking and fucking” Reader Gender: female Word Count: 7000 (lots of smut tho) Warnings: a bit of dom!cas in the middle section, very light bondage, technically no sexual escapades in front of anyone but sam gets an unwitting earful

part one ; part two ; part three ; part four

-

It seemed Castiel’s contradicting personalities bled over to the bedroom.   You weren’t sure which side you liked more, the one that manhandled you and fucked you up against a door, or the one that laid you down and made slow love to every inch of your person.   You were pleased with each facet, each unique side, and one common thing spurred you for sure—that damned voice.   He could recite the freaking phone book into your ear while running his hand down your body and you would still melt in his arms.

“Cas,” you murmured, the hot spray of the shower falling over you.   Your back was against him, his hands slipping over every wet, warm curve.   His already interested cock was hard and upright against your backside, his hips gently rocking against yours, dick sliding between the cleft of your ass.   You bent forward a bit, gasping as the water helped mould your bodies together.   He continued to slowly rub you against him, his hand encircling your throat as he had learned you liked.   He pulled you upright again, leaning you against him, the gentle rock of his hips never ceasing.  

“Y/N,” that gorgeous voice replied, rumbling low at your ear.   You turned your head, catching his mouth in a kiss that ended when you recalled your first thought.

“Talk to me,” you said gently, lifting a hand to the side of his face, stroking your fingers down his jaw as you faced forward again.   His hand found yours, lowering it to your side before he slid his hands over your hips.

“Talk to you,” he repeated, like he was puzzling out the phrase.  You bit your lip and nodded, sighing as he pooled some water in his hand and let it pour down your breast.   His hand followed, thumb circling your nipple, his other hand rubbing back and forth over your hip.  He still gently moved against you from behind, actions careful and slow.  

“Yeah,” you repeated, breathing out, “talk.”  

You had pulled back your hair before climbing into the shower, so his mouth easily settled at your nape in a warm kiss.  

“Talk to you,” he repeated again, fingers stroking your breast.   “About my thoughts for you,” he confirmed, moving his hand across your chest, palming a breast while he pressed his forehead to the back of your head, gaze seemingly focussed downward.   “About… desire,” he continued, kissing the back of your neck again, gently squeezing your breast.   You hummed with a curt nod, tipping your head as he began to lay kisses down your neck.  “I confess… I was never partial to… hedonistic tendencies…  For most of my existence, it baffled, then intrigued, then…”   He opened his mouth against your shoulder, nipping a small spot and swiping it with his tongue.   “Then you invited yourself into my comfortable reservations… picking them apart one by one…”

Castiel had not necessarily been cold to you prior to this marriage, but he was definitely a mystery.   You only interacted on necessity, pleasantries exchanged given you could stop blushing long enough to utter them, but that was all.   And those simple niceties were the good days.   Most days, he didn’t seem swayed by your presence whatsoever.   It wasn’t rude or cold, like you said, but you would never have guessed that he ever bore a similar infatuation to your own.    You found yourself replaying old memories and wondering how they could have gone if you had only been a little more bold… if he had been a little more forward…

“I did?” was your simple reply, carrying the weight of those all curiosities.   He slid both hands around your waist, drawing one back to curve it over your rear and squeeze, sending another jolt of heat between your legs.

“You did.”  That growl would completely undo your sanity one of these days.    You just stood there panting, the water running over both your bodies, his hard cock at your backside and his hand still on your ass, lightly squeezing the flesh again.   “You were on your knees when we met.   Your injuries were grave and so I healed you.”   You did remember that, the stranger who had single-handedly slain a room of nightmares suddenly dropping onto his knees in front of you, taking your head in his hands and staring at you intensely.   A flood of warmth had moved through you, healing every little scrape and bruise—and fuck, you never really stood a chance against the likes of Castiel, did you?   “You moved against me and moaned into my hand.  The sound stood out in my memory of that night.”   You blushed all over again in recollection; the very moan he recalled so fondly had been a source of embarrassment for a good while.

“You told me that was your own fantasy,” he continued, the hand on your ass sliding low, moving between your legs.   “I wonder if, after aiding you, I had done as you desired and presented myself to you, would you have refused or…”   You spread your legs a little, making room for him as he handled himself and slid his cock between your thighs.   He did not press into you but rubbed back and forth, teasing your outer lips in a way that left you keening, panting.   “Or would you have done this for me?” he asked, hand lowering to your sex and beginning to softly circle your clit.   “Would you have let me take you so soon, Y/N?”     He rocked his hips but did not even press at your entrance.    You all but flattened yourself against him, clenching your thighs to squeeze him between your legs.

“Castiel, please,” you murmured.

“Hmm,” his thoughtful sound was a little dry, a little amused, his hand swirling faster over that sensitive nub, “it seems you would.”    You made a little sound as he thrust between your thighs, leaving you achingly empty even while those fingers drove you mad.   “I should have,” he said, growly tone returned, “I almost feared your interest fell to Sam and Dean.   So many times I should have made my own thoughts known.   You deserved better—better than me, I thought, but I continued to wonder… what you would sound like, what you might look like beneath me.  It was… alarming… how easily you shattered my resolve.   Without any effort.”  

“Castiel—”  You could feel your muscles tightening, heat winding low in your body, threatening to spill over.  

“I could not be around you long.  You were so open and innocently kind to me, dressed in your sleep clothes and smiling at me…”  He groaned himself, burying his face in your updone hair, lips against the side of your neck.   “Distractions were plentiful… seeing you on your knees, watching when you bent over, knowing then what you would look like bending for me…”

“Cas, Cas,” his name turned to a whimper, your head slamming against his shoulder as you felt your orgasm ripple through you.    

“You moved me to self-pleasure,” Castiel said, his hand easing you from your height, running over your stomach.   “Those hedonistic traps I evaded as an angel suddenly opened.”   He kissed your ear, licked behind it, lips at your earlobe.   “You have not seen debauchery, wife, until you see broken corruption such as that.”

“Hmm, only fair,” you panted, smiling brightly, “you were the one to corrupt me, in the end.”

“Yes,” he grunted, hands skimming your sides.  “And I will make recompense by pleasing you every moment I can.”

He grabbed your hands, pressed them to the wall in front of you.  He ran his hands down your arms, gripping your hips as he finally, finally moved inside of you—only now everything was so much more alert and sensitive.   You moaned, swivelling your hips a bit, fingers curling against the wall as he filled you.  

“Every moment, huh?” you asked, gasping with each thrust.   His hand tangled in your hair, holding you, his other hand gripping your hip.  

“Yes,” he grunted, “until you forget every reality but your husband inside you.”

“That,” you moaned, meeting his thrusts evenly, “is something I look forward to.”

It went without saying that by the time you were done in the shower, you probably needed another one.  

-

Things blossomed quite wonderfully between you and Castiel.   You were able to spend quite a lot of time together, some of it in the bedroom, some of it outside.  That was not to say you started getting you freak on anywhere—rather that a developing sexual relationship carried over.   Friendship strengthened and you reached new emotional depths, exploring the physical as well as more.    

You adored spending time with him, cherishing those moments more when they were far from grasp, gaping days he spent away on heavenly duty.   In those periods, you spent time with the Winchesters, sometimes venturing into the city where you made a couple casual acquaintances, and sometimes you were more than happy to just be out and about by yourself.   When Castiel returned, stories would be shared, and you’d inevitably tumble into his arms for another memorable night.

But… sometimes he was gone a very long time and, while you were a happy individual, it was only natural to miss him a ridiculous lot.  

And the worst was when he was here but seriously occupied.   There was always some catastrophe unfurling in this manic little pocket of the world, and it often fell on your friends to see them settled.   It wasn’t really your niche, though you always offered to help.  In the end, your duties were relegated to research assistant and, as usual, keeping the bunker spick and span.    But those were insufficient distractions when your husband was three feet away but completely unavailable.

The three boys were strewn about the library, books piled high around them, their latest escapade baffling them all.   It was a bit beyond you and so you decided to distance yourself from the affair.  You made things easier in small ways, keeping the fridge stocked because grocery shopping was far from their minds, and maybe being nice enough to play housewife for everyone, bringing them some food and beers when it looked like they needed it.

They were finally taking a much needed respite, Dean wolfing down a burger while Sam drank some beer and chatted.   Castiel was pretty engrossed in a text but he looked up as you wandered in.   You placed some food on the table but Castiel didn’t have much hunger for such things.   You did feel his eyes following you, though, so you looked back and found his gaze low on your body.     It seemed the past three weeks—seriously, it had been three weeks—were beginning to take their toll on him as well.

You maybe didn’t help matters by wearing that yellow sundress (because you did eventually return to the department store for your things).    And okay, maybe you were also wearing some risqué lace panties underneath the ensemble, not that he knew.   Because, honestly that was just for your own benefit.   If he couldn’t attend you right now, then you kept yourself on edge with every sexy article you could find, satisfying yourself if the need grew too great.   After the last accidental prayer thing, you were careful to keep his name to yourself.   He probably didn’t need those images in his head if he was kicking some rogue angel’s ass in a warehouse somewhere.    It made it a little torturous, to be honest, his name a breath away from falling, your hand between your legs, while you desperately wished for his presence.

You wondered if he resorted to such measures in your absence.   In sent a wave of heat through you, imagining him crumpled up somewhere with your name on his lips and his hand down his pants.   You swallowed then wet your suddenly dry lips.   His eyes flittered up to the motion, fixated on your mouth for a decent amount of time before he met your gaze.  He pushed his chair out a bit, offered his hand with a silent request.    In your excessively randy state, it was probably a bad idea to comply, but your excessively randy state dictated all your actions right now.   You scurried over, his hand gripping your hip almost immediately.   He tugged you onto his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist and holding you there.

You knew he hadn’t called you over for a spontaneous make-out session in front of the Winchesters.  It was just to be close.   That alone made your heart flush with warmth—not mention worsen that liquid heat pooling between your thighs.   You were the definition of hot and bothered right now, settled comfortably in his lap, your arm around his shoulder and the other on your knee, his arms around your waist, his eyes on some ancient text.   Your gaze wandered over his profile, free hand lifting off your knee to idly brush through some of his dark hair.   His hold tightened around you, a hand wandering down the outside of your thigh, squeezing lightly through the skirt of your dress.    You sighed, trailing your fingers down his face, curling them under his chin, swiping your thumb across his bottom lip.   His eyes fluttered, blinking sporadically, then he looked at you.

“Y/N,” he said, gently if not warning.  You pouted but relented, lowering your hand.   You gripped his tie instead, fiddling with it and pressing your temple to his.   You glanced over the text he was reading but it was written in an unfamiliar tongue.   Your prophetic gifts made you fluent in Enochian but nothing else self-translated unless it was blessed.    You just stared blankly at the book while he skimmed it, some nonsensical tome hardly distracting you.

You turned your gaze down, flipped his tie in your hand.  You traced up the length of it, curling a finger into the knot and loosening it.   You saw the bob of his throat as he swallowed, but he otherwise did not respond.   You loosened the tie a fair deal, enough to unhook the first button of his shirt.  His hand left your thigh and clamped around your wrist.   He turned his head and looked at you, dark glance warning enough.   You stared back innocently and he released your wrist, returning his hand to where it was.

You refrained from undoing anymore buttons, sufficed to circle them one at a time instead.   Your hand slid a bit lower and, biting your bottom lip, you glanced over your shoulder.   Sam was showing Dean some text, Dean still eating but wearing an admittedly interested look.   They couldn’t care less about you and Cas indulging in a bit of public affection.  There was never an official proclamation made on your relationship—me and Cas are married, no, you don’t get it, like really super married—but it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.   They were accustomed to your little moments.

You looked at Castiel again, eyes following his furrowed brow, his concentrated expression.  God, you wanted to kiss him so bad.  That bottom lip was just sitting there, begging you to bite it or suck on it or something.   But that would be too obvious.   You went for something a little more subtle, if not infinitely more frustrating.

You slipped your hand between your body and his, cupping him through his trousers and finding he was already half-hard.   You felt him stiffen beneath your hand, the sudden attention rousing him.   He looked at you quickly, hand already gripping your elbow—but not very convincingly.   He knew he should remove your hand, but if he was as achy and desperate as you, then your hand there offered some much needed tension relief.   Even if it ultimately worsened everything.

“Y/N,” he said, tone now scraping.  

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, pressing your thighs together.    “Castiel,” you said with a little sigh, nothing more than that.  

You were careful not to open any prayer when he was away, but he was in front of you right now.    At the moment, his biggest problem was you.   Your sighing, wanting plea opened a prayer.   You imagined Sam and Dean leaving for some unimportant reason, at which point you would climb off his lap and settle on your knees in front of him.   You still hadn’t really done the whole blow job thing but you were hoping to learn soon.   You would need time for that, though, something you rarely had these days.   All the same, a fantasy was a fantasy, and in your fantasy you opened his pants like a skilled professional.   You had barely gotten to the good part, the head of his cock nudging your lips, when he interrupted your daydream by pinching the inside of your thigh.   You yelped, smacking his chest.   He looked at you pointedly.

“You guys all right over there?”  Dean asked, sounding a little amused.

“Fine,” you and Castiel answered in unison, staring each other down.   You licked your lips and saw him fighting not to look.  He eventually cast his gaze to the text and you huffed.   That tension between your thighs wouldn’t alleviate itself and he clearly wasn’t going to be helpful today.   You could not wait for this freaking case to be over.   You were going to strip him with your teeth and lick every damn inch of him.

Given the look he tossed you, you could only assume the prayer had not ended and he heard that.   You smiled sheepishly.

“Excuse me,” you said, disentangling yourself from him.   He let you go, immediately tucking his chair into the table.   Probably decent etiquette for an angel with a hard-on, you figured.   You tried not to grin as you waltzed past the Winchesters.

You made for your bedroom, peeling off your dress the second you entered.   You locked your door and flopped onto your bed.   Kicking off your remaining articles, hands settling where they willed, you sighed Castiel’s name wistfully so he would know exactly what you were doing.  

You were spiralling towards an orgasm, encouraged by the tantalizing knowledge he knew every little detail of your current situation, when there was a loud knock at your door.  You squeaked, freezing, breathing a little harder.

“Yeah?” you asked, voice breaking.   You cleared your throat.  “Hello?”

“Hey,” it was Sam, “Dean just got a call; something’s happened.   We gotta take off and I thought you should know.”

“Oh,” you said, levelling your voice, “yeah, okay, sounds good.  How long will you be gone?”   You hoped it would be short—God almighty, wasn’t this case over yet?  You just wanted Castiel here beside you.  

“A few days probably,” Sam said.  “You okay?”

“Yeah, totally fine!  See you later, Sam!”

“All right.  See ya, Y/N,” he said, wandering off.   You breathed out, waiting another moment.   Castiel probably thought he was free thanks to that little interlude but once you heard the door slam, indicating they were gone, you whispered his name and finished yourself off.    Afterwards you curled up, smiling to yourself.   You sent a legitimate prayer that this would all be over soon.

-

“You want me to read all of this?” you groaned into the phone, flipping through the book in front of you.   “It’s a million pages, Sam.”

“I know, Y/N, I’m sorry,” Sam replied, sounding quite sincere.  “But I can’t find the information online and that book doesn’t seem to be anywhere but the bunker archives.   Do you think you could read it out loud and I’ll take some notes?  It’ll probably be faster than any alternative.”

You sighed, turning back to the first page of the article.   It had been a couple days and the boys were still dealing with their case.   They were a few states over and lost as ever, hence Sam’s phone call.   He needed you to read out a pretty lengthy article from one of the bunker’s old texts.  It was English, thankfully, but tedious all the same.   Sighing to yourself, you began to recite the article in a monotonous tone.   The click-clack of Sam’s keyboard told you he was doing exactly what he said he would.

You were halfway through the first page when you heard the familiar flutter of wings behind you.  

“Gimme a second, Sam,” you said.   You pressed the phone to your shoulder so he couldn’t hear.   You turned around and smiled wide at your husband.   Sam was doing research and Dean had gone out for food, so you supposed Castiel took this respite to come and visit you.   You suddenly had very good incentive to hurry up and finish this recitation.

“Are you talking to Sam?”  Castiel asked, like he already knew the answer.   They were probably together before this so he obviously did.   You supposed he was just making polite conversation.

“Yeah,” you said, “I’ll just be a minute.”

“Continue,” he said kindly, gesturing to the table.   You were in the library, books strewn across the table in front of you.  Before he entered, you were standing upright and glancing down at the heavy book.   But Castiel was here and that was cause for celebration—and there was no sweeter celebration than teasing your husband just that bit.   You bent over the end of the table, your skirt hiking up a bit.   You were wearing that yellow sundress again and it lifted just tantalizing so, revealing the edge of your panties beneath.  

You pressed the phone to your ear and continued reading.   You wiggled your hips a bit, at least until you slipped into the monotonous recitation and droning clack of Sam’s laptop.   You yawned in the middle of a word, apologizing before continuing.   You read a few more words and then froze, staring at the book while your mind wandered elsewhere.   Castiel had stepped up behind you to slide his hands under your skirt.   They did not roam far, rough palms caressing the outside of your thighs, but it took you by surprise.

“Y/N?” Sam asked.

“Right, uh, sorry,” you said, blushing, a hard habit to quell.   You looked at Castiel over your shoulder, threw him the dark glance he gave you two days ago.   He returned your innocent stare, thumbs tracing circles up your thighs to your hips.   You faced forward again, supposing his actions were not too distracting.   You went back to reading, trying to ignore his hands as they swept back down your thighs.   You squeaked into a word when Castiel’s hands flattened on the back of your thighs and then slid up, curving over your ass, flipping your skirt up completely.  

“Sam, sorry,” you said, starting to push yourself off your elbows, “I just need a sec—”

Castiel’s hand landed in the middle of your back, gently pressing you back down.   He grabbed the phone and pressed it to your shoulder as you had done earlier, then he leaned over to speak low in your ear.

“Keep reading,” he said, hand sliding down your back and returning to your rear.   He traced the edge of your panties and your knees practically knocked.

“Cas,” you began in half-hearted protest, honestly wanting to see where this would go.

“Keep. Reading,” he said sternly, punctuating each word.   You didn’t need to be told twice, swallowing hard before dropping your eyes to the text.   You returned the phone to your ear and cleared your throat.  

“I’m sorry,” you said.   “Where was I?  Let’s see…”

You kept reading, sputtering when Castiel snapped the edge of the panties against your ass.  He traced the line with his thumb, continued to gently tease your skin without committing to anything dire.  

“Come here,” you heard him say after a moment, “and keep reading.”  

You obeyed, reading as you straightened.   Your skirt fell low again and you almost lamented it.   Castiel’s hands went to your shoulders, tugging on the cardigan you wore over your dress.   You pulled your arm out, placed the phone against your opposite ear to remove the other one.    Castiel took the cardigan and tossed it onto a chair beside him.   He then pushed down the straps of the dress, bra straps following, and wasted no time with placing wet, bruising kisses along your shoulder blade.

You stumbled over a few words, correcting yourself and trudging on, even when he started nipping at your skin and making an obscene noise or two.   Your breath stuttered but your voice carried.   You licked your lips and only paused when his hand slipped around, tugging on your dress and bra until it lowered to his liking.   He slipped his hand beneath the material and fondled your breast, softly rolling two fingers over a nipple before he pinched it.  You stifled every reaction and stood stock still, at least until he bent you over the table again.

He flipped up your skirt once more.   To say you felt decadent would be an understatement, your breasts all but spilling out of your dress, pressed against the tabletop, skirt hoisted high so he could run his hand over your panties.

“You doing okay, Y/N?” Sam interrupted you.  “You’re breathing kinda hard.”

“I’m fine, just tired,” you lied, speaking a bit too quickly.   Cas actually chuckled, a dark sort of rumble, and the sound hit you right between your legs.   You bit your lower lip and pictured Sam shrugging on the other end of the line.

“All right,” he said, “if you’re sure.”

“Yup,” you squeaked, fighting to level your breath when Castiel started to lower your panties.   “Totally fine.   I’m just… I’m just gonna keep reading.”  You launched right into the next line, just wanting to finish with this damn thing.  

Castiel, the sly bastard, had clearly visited for this purpose alone.   This was totally retribution for the prayer thing and Sam needing your help was the perfect excuse.   You bit back a groan and tried not to react as your underwear hit the floor, wrapped around your ankles.  

“Take them off,” Castiel said when you did not move.   It took a second but you did comply, lifting one foot so he could nudge the material aside.  You lifted the other and he kicked them away.   “Good girl,” he said, smoothing his hand over your backside.    His hand ran down your hip and then landed on the table, his other hand following so his arms bracketed you.   He pressed up against you and you stopped reading for a moment, pressing your lips together to fight a sound.   A promisingly hard ridge in his trousers rubbed against your backside.   “Beautiful, tempting wife,” he murmured, stepping back, running his hands down your sides and over your hips.  “You don’t know what you do to me,” he said lowly, fingers trailing down the cleft of your ass.  “But you will.”

You started reading quickly, somehow knowing you would not be permitted to stop.   Plus, it seemed to be the only sound you could expel right now.   You breathlessly slurred your words until Sam told you to slow down and you groaned.   It thankfully fit as a retaliation to his request but it was for so much more.   Castiel slipped a hand between your legs, fingers teasing at the wet heat which had been craving his attention for weeks.    You slurred a few more words, bucking your hips as Castiel stroked you slowly.

“Always so wet for me,” he said, easing a finger inside you.   You breathed a bit harder, continued reading at an uneven pace.   “Do you think about anything but your husband’s cock?”   A small groan found its way into your sentence, mouth barely catching it before it passed.   You shook your head in a cheeky reply to his question but he just chuckled again, that low, dark sound.   You would be happy to take your time with sweet, tender Castiel some other time—for now, you were more than happy to bare yourself to the powerful soldier character, a warrior of the Lord who had dabbled in many dark moments.  

But that didn’t mean you would make it easy.   You still bit back your reactions but then supposed he wanted you to do that, to see you struggling to keep composure, teasing you to a brink as you had done several times now.

He was thrusting two fingers in and out of you, his other hand running up and down your thigh.   He lifted it to your backside, ran it down your ass and rubbed the flesh while his thumb pressed hard circles on your clit.   Sam asked for a breather because he needed to grab something and you pressed the phone to your shoulder, whimpering as those fingers fucked into you and that calloused thumb drove you wild.   You bucked your hips against him, earning yourself a very light slap from his free hand, right across your bottom.   You yelped, thankful Sam was not listening at this point.   His voice quickly returned though and you groaned again, pressing the phone to your ear.

“Hi,” you said, word falling breathlessly.  Castiel took that as his cue to suddenly stop, very slowly pulling his fingers out of you.   You bit your lip while Sam explained something about the article.    Castiel stepped back and Sam asked you to continue reading.   You did, only stuttering when you heard the soft clink of Castiel’s belt buckle, followed by the whistle of leather and fabric as he pulled it off.   You breathed hard, legs feeling a bit weak, your sex positively dripping with arousal.   You weren’t too sure what to expect, if he was going to start fucking you right then and there, but that did not happen.   You tried to look down when he crouched by your feet, though you had to return your eyes to the text to keep reading.

The article was almost done—at least, it was closer to done than not done.   You fought to keep your voice light.   That flew out the window when Cas grabbed your ankle and tugged, looping his belt around your lower calf and basically lashing you to the table leg.   You looked at him over your shoulder as he stood but he said nothing, shrugging off his trenchcoat and suit jacket.    He rolled up his shirt sleeves, loosened his tie, and still did not meet your gaze, just stared right at your aching sex with a hungry gleam in his eye.  

“Y/N?” Sam’s voice rang in your ear.   You had almost forgotten about him.   You turned back to the text and kept reading, not even acknowledging the odd lapse.   Just have to finish reading, you told yourself, you can last till then.    

Cas nudged your other leg, kicking it far from the tethered one.   You had to bend over further to support your weight, spread wide, one leg literally tied up and the other locked in place by his.   His hand returned to your needy sex for a moment, thumb swirling over your clit, middle finger pressing inside you.   You read a bit faster, heart likewise racing.   He didn’t seem to be undoing his own pants so you weren’t sure what to expect.   His hand left you and then a second later you got your answer.

“Ah—!” the startled sound fell from your lips, something cool and foreign pressing at your entrance.   How Castiel found the time to pick up some kind of weird sex toy, you had no idea.   But you slammed the phone against your shoulder so you could moan, sound breaking into a whimpering sigh as he slid the long, thick object inside you.   He was still for a minute, leaving you spread helplessly wide with something just sitting inside you, not moving at all like you needed.

“You should be reading,” he said, and suddenly twisted the object.   You yelped, bringing the phone back to your lips.

“Sorry Sam,” you stammered, grasping the book and flipping the page.   Your breath ran ragged as Castiel slowly pulled the object back, halfway out before plunging forward again.  You stumbled over your words and Sam asked if everything was all right.   You ensured him that everything was fine and he told you that you probably needed to rest; you sounded sick.   You told him you would do so right after you finished reading.   You had a feeling Castiel would not be pleased with shortcuts.

You fought to speak normally while Cas fucked you with the object, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, sometimes turning it, sometimes jerking it.   He changed angles and suddenly it was hitting a spot that absolutely sang, causing you to cry out before shouting that you were okay, reading with feverish impatience.   Almost there, almost there, was the chant in your head, referring to much more than the article.  But you could not enjoy wherever this venture journeyed.   Castiel suddenly stopped, his free hand gripping your thigh, and then he slowly pulled the object out of you.   You pressed the phone to your shoulder again, moaning with shameless wantonness.   He tossed the object onto the table beside you and it landed with a clatter.   Your jaw dropped as you stared at it and then looked at him.

He had seriously just fucked you with the hilt of his angel blade—and that was not a freaking euphemism, just a literal observation.

He was almost blasé about the entire thing.   He just pulled up a chair and sat down, assuming that position you still found so unbelievably sexy, head propped on his fist and arm tossed over the back of the chair.   He stared at you, his ankle still hooked with yours to keep your legs spread.   Your other foot was not getting free for any reason.   So you stayed like that, completely exposed, trembling with need, shakily finishing the article while your husband stared at you.   You glanced at him for a fleeting moment and almost moaned all over again.   He was palming at his own hardness though he paused, once more draping his arm across the back of the chair.

“And that’s it,” you finally said, reaching the end of the article.  

“You should probably—”  Sam began, probably some thoughtful remark you didn’t have time for.

“That’s nice, thank you, Sam!  Bye!”   You hung up quickly, all but collapsing onto the table after.   Castiel stood, freeing your leg.   He crouched down to free the other one and you stretched it out, groaning a bit.    Then his arms wrapped around you and he pulled you upright.   Your dress was hanging precariously low but you didn’t care.   Your legs were shaking and if he was not holding you up, your knees would probably buckle.

But he was.   He held you with such strength and care that you could have cried, moaned, laughed—maybe all three.   He pulled you against him, holding you tight in his arms as he lowered his face to yours and kissed you.   It had been too long since you properly kissed him.   You wrapped your arms around his neck and returned it with all the pent-up passion inside you.   The kiss started passionate and was resolute, heat rising and not diminishing.   You practically melted in his arms, his hands smoothing over your sides, one lifting to your head to brush your hair back.    He just looked at you for a moment, the stare so open and bold that it seemed to rip right through you.  It was every stare you ever dreamed of receiving but doubted you would—that and more.   Then he kissed you again, softer but no less passionate.

“I am a fortunate husband,” he rumbled, then literally swept you off your feet.   He scooped you into his arms, appropriately bridal-style as he made the manual walk to your bedroom.   You were thankful he did not zap you there; you were still reeling from normal activity, never mind angel activity.   You just kept kissing his face and jaw, giggling when he returned the action and kissed your cheek, nose, eyelid.   You nuzzled your face against his neck and sighed, your arms tight around his shoulder.   He opened the door with a telepathic command and closed it just the same.   You were alone in the bunker but it was habit.

��Now,” he said, placing you on your feet, “I would… very much… like to make love to you.”  Even if you did sort of giggle at the way he posed it, there was no doubt about it: teaching him that phrase was the best thing you ever did.   Even after that display in the library, it managed to warm you all over again.  

You just nodded, clinging to his shirt as he leaned down and kissed you.   His hands went to the back of your dress to properly unzip it, peeling it down your body and letting it pool on the floor.   You reached back and unclasped the bra because he broke the clasps every time he did it.   His hands went to your breasts the second the material fell away.   Yours went to his tie, unknotting it and pulling it off while he gently kneaded your breasts.   He bent over, kissing down your collarbone and down your breasts while you unbuttoned his shirt.   You tipped your head back, moaning freely and happily as he sucked a kiss over a nipple, rolling the other beneath his thumb.  

“Bed, Cas,” you mumbled, undoing the last button.   He let go of you long enough to pull off his shirt, leaving it on the floor as he took hold of your arm and led you to the bed.   He sat back and tugged you forward.   You expected any number of positions—right on his lap, maybe beside him so he could roll on top of you—but he took you by surprise again.  

Angel strength seeming to momentarily overcome him; you swore you lifted off the ground for an inordinate amount of time.   Then you were on the bed, straddling his hips as he laid down.   Before you could think to do anything, though, he shoved you all the way up so you were kneeling over his face.   You swayed a bit, balance thrown, as his mouth moved over you, licking and sucking and tasting every unsatisfied part of you.  

You leaned back, grabbing his thighs behind you, back arching and a gasping moan on your lips as he ate you out.    He was so strong, holding you in place even while you fumbled behind yourself.   You tried to open his pants from this position, managing with marginal success.   You sufficed to slip your hand into his pants, stroking him through his boxers and delighting in his moan which reverberated through your own body.   Your smile faded as a torturously pleasured expression replaced it.  You bit your bottom lip, groaning, unable to resist grinding your hips downward.   Fuck, but he had gotten good at this.   He was always pretty good but every time was better than the last, learning exactly which spots hit you just right and when.  

You shoved your hand under his boxers, stroking him a bit unevenly until you felt the crest of an orgasm.   You just leaned back on your hands, pressing against his hips and crying out as he delivered you over that precipice.   You would have slumped backward if he hadn’t held you upright.    He slid out from under you, moving you down his body so you straddled his lap again.   He sat up, wrapping his arms around you while you fumbled with his remaining clothes.

“Just zap them away,” you said, always remembering in hindsight.   He wasted no time.   With a blink, his clothes were gone.   Another blink and you were on your back.   His hand moved under your thigh, drawing your leg over him.   You happily obeyed, hooking your legs around him as he leaned down and kissed you again.   That was all he did for a moment, then he shifted and hooked his arms under your legs, pulling them up a little higher.  You gasped as this opened you up a bit more, and then he was nudging at your opening.   You reached down and helped guide him, biting your lip with bruising strength as he thrust into you.  He held your legs where they were, angelic abilities no doubt soothing your muscles so you remained comfortable.  You tipped your head back, hands weaving into his hair as he expertly worked your body.

After a bit of that, you gently pushed at him.   He understood and moved back, laying down and allowing you to climb over him.   His head landed at the foot of the bed but that hardly mattered.   You straddled him, sunk down on his cock, both of you moaning low again.   You rocked your hips against him, lifted up and then down, swivelled and teased and rode him just right—realizing you had gotten better at this whole thing too.   You couldn’t think of a better person to have shared it with.

He sat up after a bit, returning your thrusts, his hand between your bodies to help bring you over that cusp again.  You tumbled over it, gripping the sides of his head, your forehead pressed to his and a small sound in your throat.  He made a responding sound, thrusts a little wilder beneath you until he stuttered.   One hand held your waist while the other tangled in your hair, tugging a bit as he finished inside you.   You fell together after that, Castiel laying back.   You were technically upside down on the bed but neither of you paid that mind.   You rolled onto him and kissed him for a moment, knowing he had to re-join the case but enjoying his company for another moment.

“I’ll return soon,” Castiel said a while later, tucking you into the bed properly.   He was barely dressed, wearing only his boxers, but you insisted anything less was just distracting.   He smiled at you and you smiled back, basking in the warmth of that blue gaze and gentle expression.

“If this is the greeting I’ll get on every return,” you said, “then take as long as you need.”

He smiled again, brushing some of your hair back then leaning over to kiss your forehead.  

“Soon,” he said.

“I’ll think of you,” you murmured, grinning to yourself.   He looked at you like he knew exactly what you were thinking, but he only smiled fondly.

“That’s what I worry about,” he teased, and you just laughed and buried your face in the blankets.

part 6

castiel x reader masterpost 

[chubs-deuce]

Getting emotional? Over my OC?

It's more likely than you think.

Jokes aside though, I'm (surprisingly) actually not the most creative person, so the art that I do is like 95% fanwork focused. I struggle with coming up with original concepts and ideas, especially in regards to character design and worldbuilding unless I have a pre-set universe, a voice, a personality trait or colorschemes to base my ideas off of.

(My human design for Nigel is a good example of that - he's very rule abiding, but only to a self preservative degree, he doesn't like conflict but still likes to criticize ideas he deems stupid and rather does things his way, so he's also a little bit rebellious. He talks a lot, also about things he's not supposed to mention because he doesn't think much about the consequences and goes on impulse - which to me shows recklessness, so together with the slightly rebellious behavior I gave him dyed hair and a torn out eyebrow piercing splitting his right brow. His voice is young and has a mild but still odd kind of pronunciation to it, so I gave him slightly wonky teeth too. The rest of the design was my attempt at tying the look together.)

I'm fantastic at deriving ideas and concepts from a source material and building onto what's already there, but coming up with them myself? Hoo boy, tough luck.

This in turn means that I only have a handful of true OCs and even fewer that are actually fleshed out.

Tessa is one of those, and even though I've written her story framed the narrative of Aperture Science, that part can easily be replaced with a different company and I'm proud of her backstory, happy with her depth as a character, her future development and pleased with her design.

I love her so much and am absolutely itching to slowly reveal her story and publish it, despite there only being a few people who'd even have the interest to read it.

I'm taking a gamble in writing an OC centric fanfiction in a pre-existing franchise (and a dying niche sub-fandom like Aperture Tag no less), but do genuinely hope that whoever reads my story will love her even just half as much as I do :').

[homodnp]

were the romans and greeks really *that* gay? please give examples

hehehehe my time to shine has come

[disclaimer: if ya wanna get really technical ‘straight’ ‘bi/pan’ ‘gay’ didn’t exist as concepts in rome and greece, they didn’t even have words for it, because it was assumed that anyone could and would fuck anyone. so while the greeks and romans weren’t precisely ‘gay’ (although obvs as a gay i know what people mean when they say it don’t woorry ajkbfj), the greeks and romans weren’t straight either ;)]

- obvious example: achilles’ soulmate was a dude called patroklos and their ashes were forever buried together in the same urn when they died.

- caesar had flings with both men and women, and according to his critics, he was a big-time bottom. same-sex attraction was common but it was only not a bad thing as long as you were a top. being the bottom was seen as a sign of inferiority or submission. so if you disliked someone, even in politics, one usual way to undermine them was to say they’re a bottom. in caesar’s case, a dude called suetonius was very guilty of this; he claimed that another dude called curio described caesar as ‘every woman’s husband and every man’s wife’ (again because wife = submission = bottom and man = domination = top, in ancient standards). (however i don’t think that biased intentions makes it any less likely that caesar had things with guys, again because guy-on-guy action was so common.)

- mark anthony had a boyfriend/acting ‘husband’ as a teen. again there’s debate over how true it is because our source was his public enemy, a dude named cicero. cicero actually framed anthony as being the dude’s sugar baby/prostitute. but it’s likely that they did have something because cicero’s style was to manipulate existing truths, rather than to lie outright.

- it was a greek lesbian named sappho whose name and origins later led to english ‘lesbian’ and ‘sapphic’. you’ll notice i haven’t mentioned a lot of women and that’s because rome and greece were heavy patriarchies - men and men’s influence and crafts were much more favoured. women did write and craft and hold influence, but we’ve lost most of all of that since: when greece and rome as we know it fell, the neighbouring/descendant civilisations (who were also patriarchal) again favoured men’s writings and pottery and crafts and stories. so historiography is a lot more difficult if you want to study ancient women because the sources have been lost. and the men whose writings were saved barely wrote about women other than to tell them what or what not to do. thus we don’t normally hear about female homosexuality. but boy oh boy do we know it happened anyway - not just because of sappho, but because we know women were kept together in their homes all the time without husbands’ supervision and could only travel outside if they were maidservants, going to the water wells where other maidservants congregated 👀 

- homosexuality appeared a lot in their religions and not necessarilly in a negative way. apollo is a very famous example of a god who loved men and women (one of the saddest well-known greek myths is apollo accidentally killing his male lover, hyacinthos), but even zeus had a boytoy as hiss cup-bearer called ganymede. (ganymede’s latin name was catamitus, where we get the word ‘catamite’ from.)

- this one’s kind of niche but i just love it anyway. a speech called Against Simon, written by a celebrated athenian speech-writer called lysias. it was about big drama between a dude called simon, the prosecutor, and an unnamed defendant whom lysias was defending, and they’d both been fighting for the time and love of a young guy called theodotos. so basically twilight’s love triangle but greek and gay. also the case went to court because simon had tried to murder the contender.

- a brilliant line of roman graffiti in pompeii, italy: “weep, you girls. my penis has given you up. now it penetrates men’s behinds. goodbye, wondrous femininity!”

i could definitely find more if i kept searching but my dinner’s getting cold, sorry afjkbfbjakajfkb. enjoy!!