#I lowkey wanna have more friends too. Put me out there yk? But I'm an introvert and I get tired very easily of people so meeting up is

[twpsyn-who]

I'm going into 2023 with the next goals and fuck my life if I don't achieve them :

- Find someone to go with me to the Palaye Royale's concert and fucking have fun at my first concert ever

- Buy my own place cuz staying with rent is shitty and makes me wanna d i e

- FINALLY meet with my "too busy with life" friends because I'm a lonely bitch and the last thing I want is to have my ex as the only friend available in my life

- Buy at least one more plushie (cuz this year I tried to stop myself from getting them and now I'm sad)

[liamthemailman]

yuo have 4 hoc characters right. ,,,..... what if joker card (probably would be the side characters of side characters)

when i first read this the image of a tactical jester appeared in my mind and im. kinda not liking it

okay but like. this? the joker card in HoC? i saw this ask come in and i keep thinking about it... i hope you don't mind if i ramble

i can't really think of an OC based on the Joker because i already wrote Jack's character to be a wild card, i.e. being chaotic in personality, unpredictable, little to no regard for rules. he fits the role if you think about it

that and i based the characters off the suitmarks first before assigning them what face they got, rather than the alternative. and i know the joker card doesnt have a suitmark but i also dont really wanna draw a jester emblem when the others are so easy lol

then i left it out because i had no idea how to fit in a comedy character into the House of Cards yk? i'm already not funny and i'm not about to add the Joker into the AU and the callsign Joker seems really mean considering there's a callsign that's like 'King'

and i don't know how to write like, a side character well (i struggled writing Price as just a passing figure(i struggle writing in general))

back when House of Cards were in it's first drafts, all the way back when i even considered drawing out a comic for it (Act 1 alone would have taken me half a year to produce), i wanted to put in a background character that would appear just before a catastrophe happens. sort of like an omen

hell, i wanted to put my sona in the background to act as an omen/easter egg/4th wall break or whatever but thought against it since i think it would immediately take away all the seriousness in the scene (and its lowkey cringe lets be fr)

i soon settled to just fics and the idea of adding said background character was tossed aside

i suppose the joker card position remains unfilled? we'll see how things go but i'm curious how a joker character would fit in

a more rowdy and chaotic version of Jack? a funny guy who cracks jokes over comms to alleviate tensions? or maybe just a passing person who disrupts the storyline like a butterfly effect? a random person for any of the existing HoC characters to interact with like a confidant? or maybe a friend for Jack, someone young and fun like him who she can relate to.

maybe it doesn't have to be just the one joker too. maybe it's how Queen views useless soldiers or King referring to FNGs that make fools out of themselves. people in the background with no real value to even be worth mentioning.. not a lot of positive connotations with jokers really,,

i'd like to hear your ideas too anon. ramble with me.

[traumxrei-archive]

【 book 6 pt. 2 thoughts ! 】

yeah so guess who's starting to play book 6 pt. 2 late *insert sparkles emoji* anyways. if you do wanna see my thoughts, here you go ^^

[ spoilers for 6-45 till 6-49 under the cut ! ]

~~~

[ about : vil the gaymer ]

HELP— the way idia's like "wait but you're so sparkly and a model....do you actually like games ??" and vil's like "and i took that personally—" imagining vil and his costars playing smash on a switch while waiting for their turn to shoot a scene

(no on a real note, how much shit like that did vil have to go thru,,,,like people deciding his likes and dislikes for him based on what they see he's like instead of just asking him T^T)

[ about : azul knows about twitch ?? ]

not azul pulling up with "hmm, yes, i've seen people making money by playing games and streaming it—" can you guys IMAGINE twitch streamer azul. would not know how to play the game. would get roasted by his chat. would then end the stream, practice how to play the game flawlessly for hours on end bc his pride was hurt, and consequently start streaming after to "show off his skills".

[ about : leona and chess.com ]

i find it so fucking funny that leona's only interested in chess games (probably bc he didn't have any friends to teach him abt other games) bc i can't believe its canon that he probably plays on chess.com or sumn whenever he's bored (also idia thanking them for proving himself correct bc the other three were interested in gaming,,,,,clown energy)

[ about : video games hurt academic performance ]

...as someone who had to write a whole ass debate on WHY video games hurt academic performance, riddle, i can definitively say that it only hurts your grades if you choose to disregard doing school work in favor of playing the games (aka, if you split your time up well between schoolwork and hobbies like gaming, you'd actually be more than fine ^^)

and idia is correct, there are studies that show that video games can help increase reaction time among other things (and he's right x2 when he says it's not the game's fault but the person's but also you gotta keep in mind that some games are designed to be addictive so that people will play it for hours on end)

[ about : pride wars ]

yk, i was thinking abt this before, but all the people in this room are pretty prideful about each of their respective areas (e.g. azul and his business, riddle and his grades, etc.) so i WAS wondering when they were going to get into a fight,,,,,

but i did NOT think it would happen between riddle and idia jskfjksdfj the way idia keeps provoking him is so funny to me bc riddle's probably never had someone (other than ace) openly oppose him like that. especially someone older jskfdjskf

meanwhile vil's like "yea riddle dug that hole and put himself in it" and azul's like "yea,,,,he's smart but he just got trolled"

[ about : WE GET TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES ??? ]

OH MY GOD THERE'S VIDEO GAMES ???? THIS HAS TO BE MY FAVORITEST BOOK EVER IN TERMS OF MECHANISM WWWAHHHH the way i'm. so excited. to like. play the video game omgmgggmgmg—

also this is so fucking meta, we get to play a video game inside of another video game,,,,,,

[ about : riddle the gaymer ]

ok lowkey wholesome the way they're all watching riddle game, even if he's terrible at it. like they're all invested in the story and in his progress, and trying to help him out, and teasing him, as friends should ^^

idia trying to give him tips is so funny bc he's saying "go up" and "YOU NEED TO GO DOWN OR YOU'LL DIE" and riddle's panicking jskfdjskf and riddle :'))) my boy, wdym which one is the down button

AND AZUL KEEPS FANNING THE FLAMES W/ HIS COMMENTS TOO the way riddle got offended over being called bad at games bc "i'm not bad i'm simply inexperienced !!" and relegating himself to PRACTICING. the riddle rosehearts practicing GAMING.

[ about : azul's turn ]

FUCK HELP PLEASE VIL I LOVE YOU WHY ARE YOU SO FUNNY JFKDJSKF

also omg i didn't think we'd be getting floyd lore HERE but it makes sense that floyd has game consoles.... azul talking as if he played floyd's games VOLUNTARILY sir just say you were dragged into it and go !!

[ about : leona gaming time ??? ]

ortho's so good at leading people to play games,,,,the way he butters people up is insanneee and telling a story to go with it ??? to make it more interesting ??? and the fact that he's so cute and cheerful, leona can BARELY put up a resistance jskfjsdf

and ofc it's a reaction time game,,,no doubt leona's gonna have an absolute ball playing it bc it's akin to a cat hitting a piece of string repeatedly sjfksdjfk and the way he's playing without strategy bc "it's his fault if he gets hit smh"

leona goes "tch...why am i doing this again ?" as if the clicking controller noises don't get more frantic as he continues to play LIKE SIR i can legit hear you exerting effort, stop acting high and mighty

[ about : ORTHO SHROUHDSFJF ]

leona: so ? what did you mean that this game was for me ?

ortho:

GUYS I'M FUCKING DYING THE WAY HE'S SO CASUALLY LIKE "YEA YK. CATS STARTED BATTING AT IT AND PEOPLE FOUND IT CUTE." and not the researcher doing the same to lions ??? help ???? "according to STYX's records, you're a beastman with lion genes, so i predicted you'd enjoy the game" ORTHO YOU'RE SO FUNNSYSYFUDHF

the way leona can't even refute it bc he WAS into the game and he got a high score anyway :'))) (and not vil calling him adorable,,,,)

[ about : leona and ortho ]

ok but the way leona let ortho down was so soft. he's like "yea like they said i'm such a cat, so i'm sleepy,,," bc he doesn't wanna hurt ortho's feelings snnnnniifff,,,, he knows that ortho's purely happy that he was able to pick out a game that engaged leona, so leona didn't wanna crush his spirits by refusing to play another round

[ about : star rogue, a hero's dawn ]

the way idia was SO EXCITED when star rouge was recommended to vil,,,, he really said pop off !! out loud and started to narrate the story of the game hIMSELF (i love the way he got So Serious for the narration sjfkdsjf that's me when i'm talking about the story line of games i love)

not jamil, vil, and leona (who was, ahem, "asleep" btw)just basking in silence after idia's done with his spiel,,,,,,,guys,,,please,,,you're gonna kill the guy,,,,,

the way the shroud bros both said the tagline sobs i love them sm sm,,,, reminds me about how important of a game star rogue is to them bc iirc they mentioned it before in the starsending event ? and idia's wish was that the star rogue sequel was completeddd

[ about : star rogue sequel ]

have i ever talked about how much i love vil schoenheit <333 the way he stands up against stereotypes that people have against him as a model and actor, the way he's down to trying out idia's favorite video game, the way he listens closely to what idia is saying and tells him not to just dream, but to chase that dream...

on that note, i love how everyone's listening to idia's story. like i didn't expect leona to suddenly chime in, but he did.

also idia is right. a game that's made begrudgingly bc someone's paying you vs because you're passionate and you want others to enjoy it IS different.

(but also what vil says does make sense. sometimes creators can't see the point in making a sequel to something even if they said they wanted to, but having that one fan cheering them on would make a difference)

[ about : RIDDLE.... ]

NOT RIDDLE TAKING THE WHOLE TIME THAT LEONA TESTED THE HYDRA GAME AND VIL TESTED STAR ROGUE TO CLEAR THE FIRST LEVEL ON EASY ??????

wow i love azurid, they're so funny for no reason, the way riddle's so happy about clearing the level and then as soon as azul opens his mouth he's back to frowning (and mama vil scolding them for not taking breaks jskfjdskf)

[ about : azul.... ]

sir i can't. i can't defend you anymore if you say something like this...

[ about : gaming time ]

also these are my scores for the games just bc i wanna document them:

for star rogue, i had to restart 3 times,,,,,the first time i got killed by the boss, the second time, i didn't get killed by the boss but i ran out of time, and third time's the charm >:D

[ about : vil finding out about rookepeyuu ]

vil being like "damn, why would they do something so reckless ?? were they...trying to rescue me ?" and then ortho pulls out skincare and he's like "?? hah ??" and idia's like "omg someone who FINALLY had a normal reaction !!!"

me when vil said the above: *flushed emoji* NO I'M JOKING— but also who doesn't want a kith from vil. we love vil and his tough love, the way he's immensely thankful but also knows how risky it was for them to do this, so he'll scold them <33

[ about : forgotten memories ]

ok but. river lethe beaming all the subjects + sage island residents,,,,mnemosyne being the goddess of memory in greek mythology,,,,

it's kinda...bittersweet. while the beginning was pretty unsavory— i mean. who wants to get violently kidnapped by soldiers ? —the end of their visit was so sweet ? like them all playing video games together, it's so sad that those memories will be erased too. and the way idia just accepts it like it's natural. he's like yea it was bound to happen, which is so saddd uughhhh he's probably used to all this, probably why he brands himself a shut in bc if anyone were to know him as "idia shroud" there will come a point where they'll completely forget about him once he goes to work for styx,,,,,

[ about : mysterious voice ]

*GRABS ONE OF MY SHOES AS A WEAPON* WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ????

ortho honey, do NOT follow the mysterious, disembodied voice that is coming from tartarus. DO NOTT !! oh god no not the foggg,,,,what the hell is that black fog around him, how did this guy's blot even leak out of the facility, how many people does this guy have under his control, and how hasn't anyone noticed uurhghghghghh

oh my god wait is this guy. one of the ancient phantoms ? the titans ? the ones who the shrouds used to lead the failed rebellion against the jupiter family ?? bc if so, maybe this was what happened last time,,,,maybe the shrouds were loyal but the phantom titans promised that they could grant a shroud's wish if they gave in, and then they fell under the titan's control,,,,

[ about : NII-CHAN ??? ]

HELP ME DID THE VOICE JUST CALL IDIA "NII-CHAN" IS THAT THE ORIGINAL ORTHO ? DID THE ORIGINAL ORTHO ALSO GET DRAGGED INTO THERE WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER AND TRIED TO MAKE A PACT WITH THE TITANS ? IS THAT WHY HE WAS SO SUSCEPTIBLE TO THE VOICE ??

WAIT WAIT WAIT YOU CAN'T JUST CUT OUT LIKE THAT ARGHHHH THE CLIFF HANGERRR *SHAKES FIST*

and with that i gotta stop here :')))) bc i gotta sleep ougughghghhgh i'm so very curious about what'll happen next but sleep awaits ^^ ig i'll play more book 6 when i wake up :'))))))))))

[bullshit-bulltrue]

Hawk Talk

Okay so sorry if this is a little jumpy I'm having a so far two-day long anxiety attack anyway-

We got assigned seating in history and i got sat next to the biggest cunt wad i have ever met i fucking despise her and she's my desk partner

she was cordial and so was i but she has not fucking changed at all

And the cute boy from years ago is still cute and shy and such a sweetheart but he sits behind me ish and to the very far right

So I can't even look at him anymore without anyone noticing :(

And nyxie darling (@whennyxfallsinlove) was right, i was looking at him like a deer staring at headlights the first day because holy shit i REALLY *REALLY* liked him (still do) because he was one of the only genuine boys I met at the time and I was having a really difficult time and yk hanging out with him helped me out since things were happening in my home life that were difficult to say the least

So then the rest of class went smoothly

For math, there is no cute guys

But thats fine because I really like my teacher and he's taught ways to do math that are so much easier

Not only is he funny, but he also REALLY goes into depth of equations and helps out a lot!!

Sooo yeah

I had a mini heart attack bc after I left class I thought my phone fell outta my pocket but the pockets on my jeans are high (since the jeans are high-waisted duh) so it turns out my butt just didn't recognize the feeling since majority of my jeans don't have wider pocket space

But yeah

Anddd then I went to English class

And if you saw the recent small Hawk Talk posts of me interacting with nyxie, you'd know that there are two boys that are lowkey cute 👀

Idk they're cute by my standards but probably not everyone else's lmao

So I feel like I should call these guys smth??

So umm let's call one of them Baseball guy bc he likes baseball and I also didn't wanna ask his name but when I do, I'll probably make a nickname to refer to when I post about him

And the other we'll call D/Dee ig??

So yeah D was funny as usual

And the baseball guy talked more and lanie, him, and I were going through this box

It was a worry box and my English teacher (we'll call her Mrs. K) basically had a chest and put it at our table to write our worries on an index card and put it in there (anonymously, but some kids put their names so now we have Blackmail™️ . Probs won't need it, but it's good to have information on people)

And like she said that we could NOT under ANY circumstances go through it..

But we did 😘

So yeah that was fun because I didnt get caught

so i'm her favorite student while also being a little shit

🙃

So me and Lanie started following Cute Baseball Boy™️ to his locker because we're nosy bitches

But then I lost lanie so I sat on the floor until i was found like a 7-year-old who lost her mom at the supermarket

Aaand then we had lunch together !!

But then I found out she thought baseball guy is cute too :(

And idk how to feel about that

So I'd anything happens between them I'm gonna be kinda bummed bc I don't want her to get the wrong idea about me thinking he's cute

So im gonna have to find a way to not like him ig??

Or just keep shit to myself (with the intention of telling y'all every little detail)

Gonna je bummed if they start dating or smth but I'll be supportive nonetheless because they're both my friends and if they're happy then that's all that really matters to me

So anyway

Thus guy across from us at lunch was fucking hilarious

His friend kept putting a plate of school food someone forgot to throw away in his face and he let out the most high pitch ear piercing scream I have EVER heard lmaooo

Same bro, same

Felt that

And like I looked at him like wtf was that dude

And his eyes got SO wide

He kept frantically pointing to the girls that were sitting near him and even his friend 💀

So like that was funny

And then we got to gym !!

We didn't get to actually do anything :(

Basically what happened in PE: got gym clothes, got gym lockers (mine and lanie's are next to each other!!), and watched boys get play basketball (D was playing and he wasn't that bad)

Sooo yeah

Ik I said that I went basic white girl mode and watched the boys play

But like half the time I was just taking selfies on snap and scrolling through tumblr memes lmao

But the other half me and lanie were laughing at the boys clothes and haircuts bc they look like they rolled out of bed and asked a 5 year old to make their hair the shape of a fucking broccoli spout or whatever tf you call it

y'all it was that bad

(we also laughed abt that shit at lunch too)

Oh forgot something

While we were all going into the girl's locker room of the gym i thought lanie was right behind me but when i turned around i had to tilt my head up and look around for her head because she's way taller than me and she was at the very back of the crowd

So i went to the side and waited for her to get close to me

And she literally fucking said

L: damn girl i keep losing you, you're really speedy

Me: yeah i'm short but it means i walker faster than you, you're a fucking giant

L: well yeah to YOU. but like i'm tall enough to be your mom

And I lost it. I laughed so hard bc of the way she said it lol

Soo yeah that was the end of my school day

Hope you enjoyed <3

Oh and tagging people that wanted to hear about my day and/or have been reading my Hawk Talk posts (if you dont wanna be tagged lmk and i wont anymore, and lmk if u do wanna be tagged in the full day hawk talk posts!) : @cereal-is-a-soup100percent-true @whennyxfallsinlove @dizzeners @cau-lee-flower215 @sp1rit-realm

[quillheel]

//🚢 Hmmmm Akari and Yusuke? :) I also lowkey wanna know what you think of Yuuma and Yusuke as well fdkgjkl

send 🚢 or ( 'SHIP' ) if you ever considered shipping our characters romantically and want me to fill out the following form for our muses. / always accepting!

— Yusuke & Akari!

do i ship our characters together? — yes | no(?) | not yet but ???

i portray Yusuke as gay, so it'd be very. ??? with him i think? because I think Yusuke innately would find a lot of Akari's characteristics to be attractive which usually applies to Joker overall due to just how Yusuke is attracted to ppl, but because of him just not being attracted to women, it'd be kind of flickers of Something but not really full attraction if that makes sense? It's like seeing someone and going 'on GOD if i were bi i'd be down Atrocious rn jesus christ' but instead just being left with that awareness that you WOULD be into someone but you're kind of just. not? while also still finding aspects of their personality attractive? it'd be very funky for him! I could only see that kind of relationship Existing in Any form if it was in a poly queerplatonic kind of relationship with others alongside Yusuke even if Yusuke I think would still definitely be muddled and kinda moreso a backing note vs the others who would be more firmly 'i am a romantic partner' yknow

though generally speaking, Yusuke is v queer as it is so him kissing all his friends in a polycule and then leaving the rest to Akari's actual boyfriends isn't too out of par for him, even if it wouldn't really be a Proper ship between them GBTRHKBGH Yusuke's OVERALL care of Akari is endless though even w/o the Full attraction, just for the record <3333 he loves his friends vv much and honestly I don't think it'd be right to confine that general love to Specifically platonic. Yusuke still loves with his Entire heart <3 appreciate the inquiry big-time though even if it kinda didnt work out!!!

— Yusuke & Yuuma! (hot boy summer fr fr)

do i ship our characters together? — yes | no | not yet but maybe soon (I MAY NOT FULLY YET BUT I SEE THE POTENTIAL)

would i like to ship with you? — yes!!!! | maybe, i'm willing to try | no

type of relationship i could see — childhood or high school sweethearts | exes | engaged | married | long-term relationship | crushes | unrequited love (yusuke is what i often call A Yearner <3) | fling | long distance | online relationship (cause of yuuma's parents + diff school mostly) | just dating | new relationship | toxic lovers | friends with benefits

tropes i'd enjoy writing for them — friends to lovers | enemies to lovers | exes to lovers | fake relationship / dating | forbidden love (looks again at yuuma's parents GBTHK) | grumpy and sunshine | star-crossed lovers | surprise pregnancy | second chance | soulmates | amnesia / mistaken identity | forced proximity | secret relationship | slow burn relationship

would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes? — develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between (I'm prob gonna end up putting this on all of these i do, but! I'm flexible and chill with figuring out stuff along the way if we're rping out the build up before the relationship/the realizations/etc, but I work better on getting invested with ships when we discuss them ooc first! we don't necessarily have to figure out EVERYTHING, but since Yuuma and Yusuke have never really interacted before, I think I'd need that to Really get invested with them even if I already have the baseline of thinking they could be interesting yk!)

what now? — let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter | i'll write you a random starter

anything else i want you to know about me / my character / my shipping habits — I can't think of anything else that I haven't already mentioned! the biggest thing was me portraying Yusuke as gay which. opening paragraph, baby BKHTRTB Ig an overall closing note to go on a positive one, even with characters we havent tossed at eachother before (like stuff with garry, luxien, nasu, aelia, etc etc!) or with pairings that might not always work out, I'm always game to ship with you!!! It's really fun and i enjoy talking to you and BOY is chattering about ships a good excuse sometimes <333

[obitoshotaf]

Akatsuki dad headcannons? Like what kind of dad would they be like and what daily life is like with y/n as their wife and their lil family?

(I lowkey hate y/n getting prego au's but we shall do this for comedy also sorry for not posting for a bit cause school T-T but now it's break and now im back) NOT INCLUDED KONAN CAUSE U JUST SAID DADS BESTIE IDK IF U WANTED MOMS TO

Sasori

I have many questions one being, how? Like he is a puppet yk, but let's say you had adopted or something just one thing led to another and you guys now have a kid. Okay, I feel like Sasori would be a very decent dad (although may experiment on your kids if they are human just saying) but he would be so nice other than that. He would do all the things he never got to have as a child with his dad like playing ball, woodworking together, father-child outings just the really sweet stuff. Also fun little extra I feel like if they were puppets he would try so hard to simulate the actual human life experiences for them like taste so they can do things like eat ice cream and feel emotions.

Hidan

Hidan would be a "cool dad" by that I mean he would teach them all the wrong things. Basically, Hidan as a father to me is like if the Christian conservative dad kept all his ways of putting his beliefs on his kids but as a Jashinist anarchist. So like "NO YOU LITTLE SHITS I TOLD YOU AT LEAST 5 KILLS FOR JASHIN, OR ELSE NO ICE CREAM" It would be hilarious. Also, feel like his only rules would be "worship Jashin, don't die, and always use protection." Other than that he would be the most fun, dad, ever but your kids would never want him to pick them up from school cause all their friends would get a crush on him. He would also just be like a more ruthless Uncle Jesse (from full house) in my opinion.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu would be the most awful damn dad istg idc what you say. Like okay okay he would be good emotionally but financially those kids gonna be looking broke af for some rich kids. he would also be super protective and shit like you wanna ask his kid out to prom okay "how much?". Mans finna try and make money out them kids. Hell, he may even sell them behind your back. But in all honesty, he would teach them how to save and spend money and raise pretty good kids.

Itachi

Itachi would be the best dad and I mean that with all my heart (and this is coming from someone who doesn't feel sexually attracted to him at all). Itachi would take your kids on outings, to go get ice cream, amusement parks, festivals, ect. Also he would be like the best at calming them down and helping them thru things like mental breakdowns or just really bad days. And when they are babies he would be so scared to shower them he would activate his sharingan to make sure they don't get hurt. Also he would def get them plushies like tons and a pet cat. Also Sasuke would be an amazing uncle and just spoil them kids rotten.

Deidara <3

Deidara would be a very awesome father, he would make sure his kids take pride in both his and their own arts. He would love to make their events a "blast" by adding cool fireworks and stuff. He would also be the type to pull pranks on all of you nothing that would hurt you guys ofc but still, it would be really funny. Also, he would blow up the kids' exes' house if needed too. (was the kid in the house when he blew it up no one needs to know <3) He would also take so much pride in his children and show them off like gold.

Pain

Pain would be a decent father he would be there for his kids when they needed him, however, he would turn them into the biggest edgelords and emos. I'm taking pure my chemical romance fans with no shame. Enough piercings to make a car with the metal, just pure edge. But he would love them to death and take care of them with his life. He would take them to hot topic every week and they would all match too.

Kisame

Kisame would be another awesome dad. He would be kinda like a beach dad where you would all live near the beach and he would teach the kids how to swim, take them to the ice cream truck on his shoulders and he would also teach them how to swim. Also, I feel like as they are learning he would do that thing where he goes underwater and pulls them under by their feet and then goes back up with them and then just laughs as they just got scared shittless. And they would all go on weekends and clean up the beach and the waters so that the animals there don't get hurt. <3

Obito <3

Obito would be another god of a dad, he would spoil them kids rotten. He would take them and play all the sports train them, teach them, give them piggy back rides, let them ride on his shoulders, tell them bedtime stories, ect. He would love them and you to death protecting you guys at all costs. Those kids would be going to school in damn uchiha crests and gucci istfg.

Zetsu

black zetsu

he would eat his damn kids.....

(white Zetsu would be a mix of Sasori and Obito)

[totiredtowrite]

"Ｔｈｅ Ｒｅｖｅｒｅｎｄ"

Warnings - Religious themes

Note: Lowkey hate the minimalist pic for this one bc it's not how I think kita would look but whatever yk. This didn't feel very wild west-y, lowkey hate the fic too 🤨

FEM READERS (SHE/HER, SHE/THEY), DO NOT INTERACT

/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

There are two sides to every coin.

This town is no exception. Tourists, visiting family or friends, people who just stop through, they only get one side of it. They get the kind people with bright eyes and even brighter smiles. They get the easygoing townsfolk who have absolutely nothing weird going on under the surface.

The reverend, on the other hand, gets the other side of that coin.

The church was put together. Well taken care of, cleaned regularly, polished and bright. The townsfolk, (aside from a few stragglers), came in on Sundays for the regular sermon, then they'd leave. Occasionally a funeral would be held there.

Of course, that wasn't all that happened. In fact it was far from it. Kita, working in arguably the most energy filled place in the whole damn town, has witnessed multiple things he wouldn't begin to explain. Birds who looked a little too human, whispering in the steeple, oddly quiet older women and men during Sunday service who he never sees again. He'd considered finding someone to work alongside him, though nobody was very willing.

At this point, he's just gotten used to it. And he's gotten used to you.

Hearing your voice in his head, seeing you prowling around his dreams, watching you occasionally lurk in the halls. Hell, he'll even say something back to you if your constant comments in his head about his 'stupid cross' got too annoying.

Not to say that he knows what you are though. What your name is, where you came from, if you're good or evil. He's just settled on neutral, much like an anarchist who would come through to say something about the church.

When it all started, he almost thought he was being punished for something. That some wayfaring god had sent you to torment him for the multitude of sins he's gathered during his day. Though, the longer it went on, the clearer it became that you were no lackey.

Tonight though, he could tell something was different. He could tell the moment you didn't disappear as he approached. You just kept sitting in his chair, feet propped up on his desk.

"What're ya doing here." He'd asked coldly. Kita hardly ever saw you. Usually you only showed in his dreams, or just as a disembodied voice in his head. When he did see you it was only for a couple seconds.

Your head shot up from the paper in your hands. (One that you clearly plucked from his desk). "Oh-! Hi father," you said, dragging out both of the words. Kita could already tell that this interaction was going to be hard to get through.

You, on the other hand, were elated. The cute human who you may or may not have a crush on is standing less than fifteen feet away from you, and you weren't booted back into the veil! Maybe today you could actually stay here.

Kita watched you pull your legs off of his desk, leaning forward to grip the edge of the chair visible between your thighs. The only reason why he wasn't startled or frozen at the moment was how...non threatening you looked to him. Maybe others would say otherwise, but he's seen you enough in his dreams or out of the corner of his eyes to be fine.

The abnormally large bat shaped ears jutting out from the sides of your head shifted with every expression you made, reflecting whatever you said. Two small horns, one larger than the other, grew out of your forehead. Aside from that and your weirdly glowy (e/c) eyes, you looked more human than he thought you'd be. Still, he could just feel that you weren't.

"Well," he sighed and leaned against the doorway. "Is there something you needed, demon?"

You gasped in faux offense, chuckling shortly after. "I'm not a demon, father," you rolled your eyes. "I'm more...meta human." You gave him a toothy smile.

His look didn't falter.

"Right," you deflated at his lack of interest in your antics, dragging out the word. "I jus' wanted to see you."

That caught him off guard, his hand instinctively reaching to the cross strung around his neck. "For what reason," he started slowly.

"Mm I dunno," you gave him another insufferable smile, "Maybe I jus' really like cute humans with grey hair."

He still looked far from impressed. "Well, leave," he said.

You looked shocked for a moment. You knew he was blunt but you didn't think he would just straight up tell you to leave. You shuffled awkwardly in his chair. "You don' wanna learn about me? N'my kind n stuff," you nervously trailed off.

He sighed heavily, dragging his large, well worked hand through his cropped hair. "No, I do not. Unless you've got something important to tell me, or show me, I do not need you here."

Your ears drooped a bit. You don't know why you thought this would actually go anywhere. The longer you watched him, the more you built up this image of how it would be in your head. You'd meet, he'd fall head over heels for you, you'd be 'stuck' in this realm, an adventure would ensue, and eventually it'd end with you staying and getting married to him.

Childish, sure. Childish and rather stupid, but oh well right? As it turns out, you were far less charming to him than he was to you.

He turned to leave. He hadn't anything important to do in his office anyways, though now he just wanted to head home. "Wait!" You called.

Kita could make out the sound of his chair being pushed out as you stood up. He paused, giving you a brief invitation to say what you wanted to say. "Can you just give me a chance! Please? I'll be good, promise," you nervously tugged on your larger horn.

He looked down, eyes closing. "A chance for what."

You ignored how it sounded more like a demand than a question. "I dunno! Just hangin around? I'll even work at the church! Just let me stay with you, only for a week!"

He perked up at your offer to work at the church. Turning around, he finally looked you dead in the eye. "Only if you work."

A smile split your face, head nodding up and down feverishly.

No way in hell was this a good idea, but at least he could keep an eye on you.

~

Do not repost, translate, or copy my work on to other platforms.

[artemidian]

perfect! okay so the plan was work out at 10 but stuff happened and i wasn't able to. i woke up with a lot of dread/thought something bad was gonna happen if i got up lmfao (i get a lot of paranoia xx) but i did it anyway. blah blah blah i ate some toast cause my stomach hurt + i spilled boiling water on my leg (i do this a lot) + my tea bag opened in my tea and so there was stuff in my tea and i didn't like that. and i'm tired. i promise this is all relevant.

so i got that stuff done, but then my family started to wake up and do stuff (they get up late) and i hear everything they say cause i'm just. constantly listening for noises yk. and my sibling said some shit about me that pissed me off (they pissed me off last night too) and now i'm just :/. like i lowkey think i'm gonna cry but i can't cause there's nothing to cry about it. ANYWAYS so now i'm doing pre cal and it's not that bad (cause i'm doing practice problems, not notes. i hate doing notes) but i feel like i still need to work out. and my shoes are by my family and i don't wanna see them rn. and i'm getting hungry again (and i just remembered rn i forgot to take vitamins ugh) so yeah. basically things i need to Accomplish:

- pre cal (like 2 Things/lessons today cause i couldn't do one yesterday)

- work out (at least like. 20 minutes. i feel gross. i get nervous if i put it off at night tho because Night Time is always a whirlwind of What the Fuck)

- maybe clean. i just need to fold clothes and that's the chore i can never bring myself to do. everything else is clean lmfao, i might do my laundry tho if i can. i just need my family to Leave.

- maybe write. idk i'm really anxious today so idk what i'm gonna manage lol

i think that's it. i can give you my normal schedule so you can like. see how i'm a mess. i already got up 30 minutes late lmfao. but yeah ! do with that what you will !

okay so! schedule below!

step one: forgive the day

yeah this one sounds weird but it's a Thing I Do when i get morning anxiety/wake up later than i want to/have a bad morning and i've had to do it a Lot recently (thank you meds </3) so let me walk you through it. basically,, it's accepting that the start of my day happened how it did and then i'll choose a time to re-start my day (i'd say 11 for you but i doubt i'll finish typing by then lol. I do increments of 15 so i have time to re-make to-do lists if need be). it's a lot of like– neutrality? instead of frustration or forcing myself to be happy about it. like it helps when i feel like a mess– not all of my days will be perfectly on schedule. but within themselves they can be structured and functional even if they aren't My Usually Scheduled Day, and that's okay. anyways moving on–

two: get something to eat

okay i know that this one is currently not the best option because Family, but it makes sense in my head. you and hunger have a very on/off relationship, so best to eat when you start to get hungry, plus it makes sense for later in the day, and you'll need energy to get the rest of your stuff done, yk? so if you can find a way to grab something quick to eat (more toast w/ peanut butter if you like that? that's my go-to quick breakfast. i can give you more suggestions if you need them). and grab some water to drink too. hopefully you can make it so you're just kind of in and out without interacting with your family. oh and take your vitamins!

three: precal lesson one

it's probably stressing you out that you didn't get one one yesterday, which might be contributing to the morning anxiety (only bc i know mine gets worse if there's things i didn't do the day before, especially the whole "something bad will happen if you get up" feeling bc it feels like accepting that Yesterday is Over and i Cannot Finish That Task When I Needed To) but anyways. precal lesson! with any luck, math will soothe your brain and help you feel a bit more productive and such. math is one of the tactics on my disassociation doc that i give to my friends lol. it also gives your body a chance to rest and digest breakfast.

four: workout (and shower)

i don't think one precal lesson will take long enough to push this into the like. nighttime danger zone. so you should be fine in that regard. if you feel anxious about not doing it, remember that a.) it will get done and b.) you need time to yknow. get energy and such from your food. don't workout on an empty stomach (but working out right after you eat is also not the best idea lol). i think a twenty-minute workout is a good refresher for partway through the day, and it gives your mind a break from math. i have another friend who i help with scheduling and during the school year i'd usually have them do something active in between homework blocks. take it easy today, don't do anything extreme– you're tired and anxious. do what you can. just being active is enough. i put shower on the list because i don't think that going about the rest of your day with like sweat and such will help with your anxiety, just based off how i've seen you talk before. it's all up to you though.

five: more precal + snack break

now that you've done the things that are like. things you usually would either do in the mornings or would've done yesterday, take a breath and a second to acknowledge the things you've done today (yes i sound cheesy. you can't stop me though) and then start your second precal lesson. again, this is math, so it shouldn't be too bad, and as always, if you need help i'm here. as for the snack, depending on when you finish the other things, it could either be lunch, a post-workout snack, or an early dinner. whatever your body is able to have. and stay hydrated lol. you can eat whenever you'd like, whether that's right after your workout or in the middle of precal or when you finish the lesson.

six: whatever you need to do

this is just prescheduled time for if you need something, like eating or showering or time to relax or anything of the sort. yes you have time for this in your day.

seven: fold laundry

okay as someone who also has to force myself to do laundry and fold laundry i can assure you that it isn't that bad and it never takes as long as you think it does. put something on as background noise, a movie or show or a podcast or music, and just get it done. it won't be awful

eight: take the night as it comes

yes this is the opposite of what you've asked me to help with but here me out: if nights are consistency a whirlwind, it makes no sense trying to plan them, and more sense trying to learn to weather them. you can write? great. if not, that's okay. do what you can. family's being shitty? help yourself find a way to keep your mind off of it. have a headache? tired? anxious? give yourself some space to rest. etc, etc– basically try to adapt to whatever ends up happening instead of trying to get yourself to follow a specific guideline that isn't considerate of your situation and might end up causing more stress.

yes this took me like. thirty minutes to write out whoops </3