#I might do a tier list before watching the new season

[dontkillhimyouclown]

Hmmmm I like predicting what my opinions of characters will be before I get into something, because sometimes I can immediately tell from the bit I've seen and heard of them that I'm going to love them. Or, even better, sometimes I'm so incredibly wrong and it's very very funny in retrospect

[fixinglitg]

SEASON 1-6 TIER LIST

Disclaimer: This involves some controversial opinions. Mainly because I know how much my opinion differs from others, and sometimes this fanbase (mostly on Reddit naturally) handles others opinions not so well when it's about their favourite character/LI.

Also, this is the one of the last posts I make before continuing my "fixing bi women" series thing I'm trying to do. It'a taking a lot longer than I thought so I just wanted to add in some filler posts so people don't think I just disappeared (if I do stop posting, I'll let yous know, don't worry)

Without further ado, and with that disclaimer in mind, continue to read if you wish!

So I've done multiple tier lists over the years, however I decided to make a fresh one after deciding that I really wanted to put the characters into more specific categories. And name those categories accordingly so that people can at least get an understanding as to why they're there for me (apart from the last one but I have an explanation for that). For each category, I'll give a few examples as to why I've chosen them in that category, but I won't do that for everyone as it'd take a very long time and my fingers can't deal with all that typing conatantly.

Note: if you'd like to hear a reason why I like/dislike a character and I haven't stated it, I'll gladly answer when I can!

SO let's begin!

This should be pretty self explanatory. I love the character that much that if they were real and my actual partner, I'd 100% marry them. And here are a couple reasons why I like specific characters:

Levi: So I genuinely think Levi is one of my favourite male LI's of all time. And I like him more than Mason because of the differences in cherrygate. If you get Levi for cherrygate, he acts more sorry for it than Mason does. He looks like he genuinely actually regrets it, and doesn't really try to push the blame elsewhere. On top of that, if you don't get him during cherrygate, he acts like a sassy little bitch towards Mason and it's so cute to watch. And I just really like his character in general. So much that I might actually continue playing S1 for him.

Gary: Now I'm pretty sure Gary is the canon LI for S2, and I'd have to agree with their choice. I like the fact that you can just go around and continue seeing him even if you're not together. And the secret kiss in the gym? That is literally the one and only time I've ever allowed my LI to do that, because I'm all about loyalty but that man was something else. On top of that, I just feel like him and MC have serious chemistry. Like proper serious chem.

Angie: I mean, come on. Angie felt like the first real friends to lovers route for me. I often choose the wlw routes when possible, so just getting her right at the end was so satisfying. Now I am a little disappointed that we didn't get more episodes with her as our LI, but her character development? Literally fantastic. And that's what I love, y'know? I know some people are really impatient and don't like it when the slow burn route is only completed right at the end, but like- I'm in love. The way she questions MC and her experiences with other women, the way she opens up to you and lets you see her, and the roof terrace scene on like- Ep 39? My absolute favourite from the new app.

This one is also self explanatory. These are marriage material too, but since the people in the category above exist, I can't marry these lot :(

BUT, I still they are worthy enough to marry. Now I know the only controversial ones will probably be Gabi and Finn, but come on. Apart from Lulu, they were literally the best LIs from S5.

Finn: Even though this man is always like "I like you" and then runs back to Kat, that's basically that season in a nutshell. But there's just something charming about Finn. Is it the Irish accent I imagine when he speaks? Is it the fact that he defended MC even though literally barely anyone else did because that season was the bully MC season? Is it the red flags? But in all seriousness, I just think he is genuinely the best out of the worst, and he'd probably improve a lot once they've left the villa. I don't think having Kat on his back was helpful at the end when you finally get to couple up with him.

Gabi: I mean, so many people dislike this woman but I don't get why? You have to be reasonable to like Gabi. See, the way I see it is that Gabi doesn't really know about MC for a while. I can't remember if she actually does know much about MC and her role in Suresh's life before she enters villa so this part may be a load of shit, but bear with me for a moment. If you've got a guy sleeping round your house, and you find a ring, you'd assume it's for you, right? And then he disappears and you see another woman in his life (I imagine that's when Gabi really finds out about MC) you'd think she's the other woman. I don't think she really paid much attention after that. And when you really think about it, if Gabi didn't have her "tantrum" as people call it, when would we have actually found out about Suresh wanting to marry MC? Either way, I just like her character, and I think she's cool enough for a ring on that finger.

So this one is BF/GF material characters. People that I haven't really thought about marrying, and I don't know if I would, but people that I'm into nonetheless. To be honest, I don't really think many of these need explaining, but if you want to know my reasoning behind Bill, go check out u/SoundNo3485 they're really awesome and I've seen them post a lot about Kassam, Bill, and now for S7 Rafael. So yeah, just click that name and you'll be sent right to their Reddit page!

Note: since there's a 10 image limit, I had to leave these two together.

This one (the second category in the picture) is basically the last one, but we'd end up breaking up in the end. Now I know that the only one gonna be questioned is Felix, so I'll explain.

Felix: When you put aside his really horrible social cues, his terrible attempts at seducing women, and his kinda weird behaviour, he's actually a cute LI. Just like with Jakub, he'll actually have sweet moments with your LI, and he also has some unique dialogue when you bring the boys back from CA (which there is some of for each of them, but not a lot really). Overall, he still shivers my timbers sometimes, but once I can get past that, he's kinda cute. And he's not even that horrible looking, I think he just needs a beard. But then again, he's only 21 so I can't expect that.

So for these lot, I don't have feelings for or my feelings are so weak that were just best friends babe. I mean, six out of the twelve I picked are undatable anyways, so can you really be surprised?

These people I like a little to consider them as a friend, but I wouldn't want to class them as anything more because I can't see them as anything more. Now you might be wondering why Blake is there. And I am too, she's a bit of a bitch tbh. But at the same time, I really like her?? I'm not even sure I can give you lot an explanation as to why I like her. If she was an OG, I'd imagine we'd be friends.

Yep. Now we're getting to the characters I don't really like. It's not that I don't like these characters, I just don't feel anything towards them, or can't remember them, or literally don't care for them. Like at all. I guess the best would have to be Jen but I literally have zero reasons as to why.

I do not like these characters at all. Now these are pretty simple explanations to the point where I don't even think I need that much to explain why. Apart from Hannah, but I'll get to her.

Cherry: Started cherrygate and this woman is so odd sometimes. And her sad (like very sad) expression looks constipated.

Miles/Jasper: Genuinely, how could you actually like either of them? I mean, Miles is definitely more attractive, but even their names suck ass imo ofc (no offense to anyone with those names I'll just associate you with these two from now on)

Mason: Literally the biggest asshole once cherrygate starts. This man is so immature about it unlike Levi. And I swear to god this man blames you or someone else rather than taking the blame?? Frustrated me to no end.

Lexi: I mean, she made S4 at the start interesting, but I just found her kinda annoying? Would be a cool enemy to lovers, but as she is I have no likings to her.

Grace: Oh how I wish I could like her. But since my first route was with Ozzy, she was just this delulu woman who couldn't seem to grasp the fact that Ozzy likes MC. And even off his route when Ozzy likes MC, but MC doesn't, she still tries to pretend Ozzy and her are a good match. You're just not babe. You're the NOPE of S6.

Marshall: I mean, come on. I can't date my first LIs twin brother, that's fucking weird. Yet he definitely deserves better than Ratmelia. Though, that doesn't mean I like him whatsoever.

Hamish: I'm sorry, this man is just a walking ick, that's all I can say.

Hannah: Now, Hannah before she left would've been WAYYY higher. But R!Hannah? No, just no. You shouldn't change yourself just to get people to like you more. And you don't have to fake stuff like confidence (at least my headcannon is she faked it) to be liked. If you're trying to get with someone, changing yourself just for them is toxic in multiple ways. Just find someone who fucking appreciates you for you, you get me babe? Okay, rant over.

I mean, can you really be surprised that almost the rest of the S5 cast are in this category, plus Jo? I mean, apparently Jo is nice, but she's called me a people pleaser way too many times for me to think that she's not the canon option for that statement. I mean, what the actual fuck? I'm trying to get you lot to calm the fuck down because you're acting like children, and then you go ahead and say that to me? I'm sorry, I like Rahim, but he fucked up choosing Jo over Shannon.

I mean. I just really fucking despise these people. The only one I can at least enjoy is Dylan since he added a whole ass scene to the game, and it was fucking amazing I can't lie. I only done that after like- 3 routes though and then restarted the episode for Angie again because I ain't continuing that. It's cool how he automatically makes you get a second place if you go as far as possible with him. But yeah, other than that, I hate these all.

Now some of you might have been wondering where these three were. Yes. They are literally the last row. Meaning the ABSOLUTE WORST.

Bobby: I'm sorry, I can understand the appeal, but I just can never get behind it. I hate how he basically acts childish throughout the whole thing (and I mean, I love some childish people, but this man was hitting all the wrong spots). And he literally looks more concerned by Lottie and "oh poor Lottie, I'm sure Gary will come back" meanwhile Gary is in the hideout with MC giving her the time of her life. And then it's like "Poor Priya y'know" BRO YOU THREW THE POOR WOMAN UNDER THE BUS IMMEDIATELY. I just felt like, when I attempted his route for the first time since I've matured, that he's too concerned by other people. Not ONCE do I remember him comforting MC first. And then the nail on the coffin was the fact that he chose Hope over Priya. I love Hope, and I really wished she coupled up with Lucas at some point instead since her and Noah were beyond toxic, but calling her the "apron to his gloves" or some shit like that was beyond infuriating.

Noah: I half explained it in the Bobby reasoning, but his man is such a fucking child?? When Hope and Priya are fighting over him, you can choose to question Noah which I do ever single fucking time, and it just shows his true colours. He basically just says it's not his fault and he's not gonna take any responsibility for it, but my guy just won't fucking pick who he likes more which wouldn't end this issue. Like oh my God, that part was so- it literally felt like the equivalent to S5. As a whole. Also, I don't find him attractive lmao.

Bruno: I mean, Bruno is literally just an IKEA Bobby. Hate his fucking looks, hate his shitty jokes, and I just hate him in general.

So now that that's over, you'll probably gain an understanding as to which characters I'm more likely to post about.

And if anyone dislikes the characters I love, or loves the characters I hate, that's okay. That's fine. I respect your opinion, just please do not start ridiculing me or telling me I'm wrong or anything like that, it does get boring after a while.

See you for the next post (god my fingers are dead) <3

[solarsonicsoda]

Ranking TV Theme Tunes - Intro

Many many years ago, I made a tier list of all the theme tunes from loads of cartoons and live-action shows I watched back in the day. I thought this was neat, but I always thought I could do more. It's not like it was a small tier list either! But all the same, it ate away at me. One day, I decided I was gonna do something about it.

I compiled more shows. I asked friends, I took note of shows mentioned in videos I saw, I remembered more from my own experience - the number kept rising. One-hundred. Hundreds. I was building a pretty big collection. I shared my plan with more friends, and more and more of them had suggestions. But then they asked me: "How many are you doing?"

I hadn't considered this before. How many was I going to do? When I told them the current number, they all told me the same thing:

"STOP"

I ignored them, obviously. However, I made a compromise. I'll get to 500, and then I'll stop. A completely reasonable number, I thought... and in terms of reaching it, I was! It was easy, even. Yet, I did come to realise, that it might be slightly too many to ever truly cover as I originally planned, at least in a reasonable time. This brings us to today, and a brand new method for this plan.

I'll be rating themes here show-by-show, and giving them a letter grade for our tier list. I'll first cover my original 500 (with a few stragglers that fit among them), and from there potentially expand. The ground rules and caveats are as follows:

Each theme is rated on the song alone. No personal opinion on the show, the intro video, anything! I will comment on these, but they may not skew my view! These ratings will be go: S, A, B, C, D, and F. Try to remember that C is a passing grade! If your favourite intro gets a C, that means I thought it was Alright!

Shows with more than one theme will be given a final aggregate tier rating, based on each individual theme's rating.

Shows which get an entirely different name from season to season will be treated as unique shows, however shows where this only sometimes happens, or said seasons are simply shorter arcs, will not. For example, every Pokemon show is counted as a unique show, but Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is not, and neither is every season of Ninjago. Reboots will typically be treated as a separate show.

Shows which share a theme or have practically the same themes will be taken as one single entry, though acknowledged as seperate shows. For example, Digimon Adventure 02 will be treated as the same as Digimon Adventure.

I will be counting the British and American themes only, and mainly the original themes they aired with in these countries. That is to say: yes, I'm using the One Piece Pirate Rap.

The shows selected will be of the family entertainment variety. The audience of each show may vary, but it's all about where they may have aired. I think the best way to explain this is that shows such as The Simpsons do not qualify, though I will be counting The Flintstones. You may dispute some of my discretion here, and that's fine, but it's just what makes sense to me

I am, sadly, British, but we have some absolutely banging TV and it is grossly underrated on all sorts of old TV retrospectives and stuff! My 500 aims to fix that, with a great deal of shows from British channels throughout the years. There's plenty of stuff from America too, most of which we had here too as imports, and shows from around the world in similar situations such as from Canada, Italy, Australia, France, etc. However, I'm definitely limited by what I see! If I haven't seen/heard-of something and neither have my friends, it probably won't be in that list! To rectify this, feel free to send me suggestions! Please try to do this with as much information as possible, and links are super welcome!

The shows are also spread out across time. We have themes as old as the 50s, and as new as 2023! I tried to take a good spread but through a combination of personal bias/nostalgia and sheer quantity, the 2000s is probably the most-represented era. This was hard to help, but again, send more suggestions!

There will be some shows that you have never heard of! If they seem really, really obscure? Probably me or a friend watched it, and we will not hear anything bad about it. Gotta have variety!

But with that said, stay tuned for some fierce theme tune rating! And if I miss a theme or make a mistake, let me know nicely! I have NOT seen all these shows, and some I know next-to-nothing about, so take it easy, and help me out!

Hope you enjoy!

[piratefalls]

Hi there, hope you're doing well! I'm currently all caught up on my shows and am in search of new ones to watch, do you have any that you've been really enjoying lately or that you might recommend?

i'm just out here surviving! i hope you're well as well!

okay this is a question i love answering. i'm not really sure what your bag is, or what shows you've already watched, but i'll rec stuff across genres/tropes. i also, as a rule, never recommend stuff that i haven't watched and loved.

gonna start out by saying that, to me, you won't find better found family dynamics than in Leverage, which is one of my all-time favorite shows and a regular rewatch.

i just finished iZombie and loved it. it's goofy, at times a little gory, unexpectedly touching, the relationships are so good, and it feels relevant to today's world given the current climate here.

i'm generally not that attracted to sci-fi/fantasy, but i fucking loved Fringe. i also very much enjoy Grimm if you're looking for something that's also goofy and doesn't take itself too seriously. also, i'd be remiss if i didn't mention Sense 8.

for legal dramas, I recently marathoned The Good Wife and The Lincoln Lawyer, both of which i found enjoyable. TGW is definitely heavier on the drama side and involves a lot of politics, so TLL is the lighter way to go. (side note: i've worked for law professors for ten years and i find legal dramas/cop shows to be hilariously entertaining because every so often i find myself muttering "you quite literally cannot do that" lol.) also, Goliath is pretty amazing and each season is its own story.

can't talk about legal dramas without a few cop shows, and i do enjoy Bosch, Rizzoli & Isles (the books and show are drastically different, i've found them both worthwhile), Flashpoint, and Numb3rs was pretty interesting in that it was at least a fresh concept.

if you don't mind violence, Hunters is a great show but it's definitely a lot (they're modern day Nazi hunters, and there are flashbacks involving the concentration camps) but fair warning, it ends on a cliffhanger and i have no idea when/if s2 will drop. The Boys while very violent, is also very darkly humorous, which is the kind of stuff i like.

for goofiness with a side of heart, Psych is a great watch. Schitt's Creek is also an obvious choice. also I found The Librarians to be very enjoyable. Parks & Rec is hit or miss for some people. you really have to power through it at first before it finds its footing.

for a good one-and-done, i did like Eyewitness. for an excellent one-and-done, Watchmen is top tier. seven seconds is also pretty good. also enjoyed Somewhere Between because I am hella attracted to devon sawa.

i also really enjoyed Lovecraft Country, but it's also one of those shows that's A Lot. historical drama mixed with horror, if that sounds appealing. the episode where they travel back in time to the day of the tulsa race massacre is one i had to sit with for a while.

thrillers I enjoy are Reacher, Jack Ryan, Person of Interest, Blindspot, and Shooter.

for true crime, one of my favorite docuseries is The Keepers. The Staircase is also an interesting one.

for history stuff, i absolutely love Drain the Oceans. it's fucking fascinating.

The Fall, because Gillian Anderson.

for medical drama, i have a preference for The Night Shift. it ends on a sot of cliffhanger, but i think it stands pretty well as a series finale.

for medical hilarity, Sirens. i laugh every goddamn time i watch it.

I have a very, very long list of shows I started but haven't finished because I find it almost impossible to keep up with shows that are actively airing. if it's a popular show and it's not on here, that's probably what happened lol.

my current shows are 911, Big Sky, and Air Disasters.

ask me random stuff!

[my-messy-melody]

Me and A watched all of Neon Genesis and he put it at number 6 on his list. and he made it S tier. I'm so glad we watched it together! This is only the second time I've watched it all the way through to the end, and I understand it wayyyy better the second time around. It's one of those shows that gets better and better the more times you watch it, I think. Ummmm next on my list is Lain and Cowboy Bebop, but I might save Cowboy for summer. It will be Lain, and then I'm going to rewatch all of AOT before the new season comes out!!! I'm soooo excited. And I've decided that while all of the new AOT episodes are coming out, I'm signing off of all social media. Tumblr, insta, everything. Including A's tiktoks. Also I want to try and skip family vacation this year............

E and I really wanted to go to a convention this year. And... I honestly don't know what to do. The dates fall exactly in the middle of when we're going to the caymens. Idkkk it just makes me want to cry when I think about it. It feels like my mom purposefully schedules things to drag me away from my friend/s. leaving right at the end of April for taylor swift, right at the end of May for the Caymens for 10 DAYS, and away from A for the whole summer. I don't even really want to go to the Caymens, but I know my mom will be so horrifically upset if I don't go. they probably all will. I just....... at what point do I grow up enough to decide to go somewhere else instead of go on family vacation? how ungrateful would that make me? we're already going to Chicago this summer. And probably something else at the end of it too. I just Don't know what to do.

[after-witch]

A Christmas Interlude [Yandere L Lawliet x Reader]

Title: A Christmas Interlude [Yandere L Lawliet x Reader]

Synopsis: A (late) Christmas snippet, set in the Oh Sugar Sugar series.

Notes: yandere, kidnapped

[Christmas is an incredibly busy season for bakers. Juggling special orders, Christmas cakes, lookie-loos and families eager to warm up after walking around admiring the Christmas lights can bring stress, stress, stress. There’s hot chocolate to be made, fresh warm cookies to pull out of the oven, window trees to be decorated. So much to do in very little time.

But it’s also… fun. It’s a blast to decorate Christmas treats, which can be much more elaborate than everyday bakery goods with no need for justification. Miniature gingerbread houses with teeny M&M snowmen, macarons stacked like little trees, and more peppermint than you can shake a stick at--pun intended. Planning out what goodies you’ll be hosting seasonally is an intriguing and rewarding challenge and let’s face it, there’s nothing more comforting than a warm cup of hot chocolate at the end of a brisk Christmas workday.

Not that any of that matters.

Not that you’re doing anything for Christmas this year.

Or rather, not that you’re doing anything you want for Christmas this year.

“It’s not very pretty.”

Your captor’s voice cuts through your bittersweet thoughts so starkly that you almost jerk, coming close to ruining what progress you’ve made on an admittedly pitiful looking Christmas cake.

How can it be pretty? You think. I’m in your bare-bones kitchen. There’s nothing to decorate it with but frosting and food coloring and old birthday candles. And oh, yeah, I’m making it under duress.

You weren’t quite at gunpoint, no; L didn’t order you to make it. He didn’t say if you didn’t make it, he’d do something bad. Really, the worst he’d done (aside from kidnapping you) was force you to be around him. Force you to listen to him talk and rant and ask questions that you hated answering. But if you didn’t answer, he’d wheedle it out, somehow poking and prodding at every sensitivity without you ever saying a word.

And so, the cake was your reprieve. If you make him a Christmas cake, he’ll let you do anything you want for Christmas. Aside from leave, he’d said, but that was a given. 

You feel him leaning down over your shoulder and cringe. He likes invading your bubble. Does he like that you hate it? You can’t really tell, and you don’t want to ask him because that might make him think you want to know more about him. For all that he’s asked about you--whether you answer or not--you’ve refused to indulge in his desire for you to play along.

You sigh and scooch the kitchen stool down, just enough to give yourself some space.

“It’s hard to make it look pretty when I don’t have anything to work with.”

L raises his eyebrow just in time for you to glance over.

“What do you need to work with?”

You chortle, and it’s probably the first time you’ve made a noise other than annoyed, angry, frustrated, sad, and helpless inside your prison. L almost looks… surprised.

“I thought you were into baked goods? I need…” You stop, and you think about your bakery, think about all the supplies you’d normally have arranged out every morning for decorating. “… sprinkles. Different kinds. Big and small and sparkly. Better food coloring, this stuff is too runny and it’s not vibrant. Royal icing for harder bits, so, confectioner’s sugar, little bit of lemon juice, real butter. Flavorings--extracts, you know. Almond, cherry.”

As you continue listing off the goodies, an image of a pretty cake comes to mind. A tiered cake, topped with little house, though not gingerbread--you can’t stand the stuff--but a pretty little cake house with royal icing frames and snowmen made of cake balls and a peppermint chimney on top. Christmas flowers adorning the other tiers, sugar or frosting bows. Simple but elegant, whimsical and cute. It would be on a display case in your shop and you’d smile when customers asked you if it was for sale; “No, a labor of love--but you can special order something similar.”

What becomes a theoretical shopping list has turned bittersweet and you trail off, resting your head in your hand and sighing, all in the hopes that you won’t start crying. He’s so damn analytical when you cry.

You do jerk when you feel L’s hand on your back suddenly, soft and light and rubbing up and down.

Oh. Oh no.  That’s new. He’s trying to comfort you and it might just be more aggravating than his desire to analyze. You squirm, but there’s nowhere to go and you’re forced to accept yet another unwanted intrusion in your life.

“I’m going to take a nap,” you whisper, and you ignore his little noise of protest as you set down the spatula and leave your unfinished cake sitting on the countertop. Ugly and unfinished and pointless. You hate that you can relate to the feeling, but a nap will wash it away, like it always does. At least until you’re forced to confront your reality again.

**

Still groggy, you walk back into the kitchen and the unexpected sight you find there hits you so hard that you think you might still be dreaming. But the softness of your nap has long worn off, and there’s no denying that the items in front of you are real, solid--and delicious.

It’s… your list, more or less. Neatly arranged on the now-cleared countertop, your earlier cake set to the side. He even got out the bowls and whisks and other little odds-and-ends that you would have chosen yourself, if you were willingly setting out ingredients for a baking session.

L is standing behind the counter, half-looking at you, half-looking at the goodies in front of him. He idly pushes a spatula around on the counter, waiting for you to say something, anything, about this… turn of events.

There are a lot of things you could say. You might say. You want to say. But for now, you’ll make do with a simple query:

“Did you get any chocolate chips?”

He smiles. And pops one into his mouth. 

**

The cake is beautiful--was beautiful, before you took the sharpest knife in the kitchen and ceremoniously cut into it, creating picture-perfect slices that ruin the look but fill up a cake plate just right.

You serve yourself a heaping slice, then cut a second for another plate you pulled out of the cupboard. You don’t want L to get ideas about you being domesticated or humbled or anything of the sort, but, a gesture--cake on a plate--was better than having to actually say “thank you” to the man that’s holding you against your will. 

The second mug of hot chocolate, topped with a swirl of cream and cinnamon, is a habit. You always make extra when you’re eating sweets at Christmastime with--friends. But L is not a friend. A habit, you remind yourself, just a habit.

You settle down on the sofa and watch as L fiddles with the remote, looking for the Christmas movie you’d asked to watch as your reward for making the cake. It’s tradition: you always eat something sweet, drink homemade hot chocolate--not cocoa--and watch your favorite Christmas movie in the evening. He makes a little noise of triumph when he finally spots it, and you suppress an amused huff. He has weird habits. You do too, you suppose, being kidnapped notwithstanding.

You stare straight at the screen. Straight at the opening music and opening scene that you’re oh-so-familiar with. You don’t want to see him spot the cake, don’t want to see him eye the mug of warm, delicious hot chocolate. You don’t want to see if he’s pleased or surprised or humbled or if he looks patronizing and slaps on a I-told-you-you’d-come-around smug expression.

You don’t look, but you feel the sofa dip next to you as he nestles in with his own treats. He’s close and warm and munching away happily at the slice in front of him. 

Well, shit. You forgot to include “you have to sit somewhere else” as part of your agreement.

[mackeydoodledoo]

I Only Swim Free: Chapter 2

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: You’ve done swimming all your life. You’ve gotten to your dream college on a scholarship for your outstanding freestyle technique back in high school. Relationships never crossed your mind however, that was before you met your swim team captain: Bela Dimitrescu.

Warning: Alcohol/Drinking, Introverted-ness (At Parties), jealousy/slight-heartbreak

A/N: Rather than having this be a one chapter story, I decided to make this thing a whole series!

-------------------------------------------------------------

“This Photo assignment is due next class, make sure there is no slacking off,” Your Photo professor announces, “Now, that will be all for today, I can’t wait to see what you students will come up with.”

As you finish up your last class of the day, you grab a quick bite to eat before you headed off to the sports facility for practice.

The Assignment: You are to create a collage of photos taken on your DSLR camera. However, they need to be edited in some way. The theme and the way of editing is entirely up to students. 

You go down the list of options in your head as you get yourself changed into your new swimsuit. You feel a slight tap on your shoulder, making you lose your train of thought.

“Hey y/n,” Bela smiles, “I just want to apologize for not letting you finish yesterday. My boyfriend he’s- the worst at timing. What was it that you wanted to ask me yesterday?”

A date... I want to ask you on a date Bela...

“Oh don’t worry about it,” You lie, “It was nothing important anyway.”

“Okay,” She says, “Hey do you have any plans tomorrow night?” 

“No, don’t think so... Why?” You ask

“My boyfriend’s fraternity house is throwing some huge party and I was wondering if you would like to show up... With me,” Bela explains

“Wouldn’t that be a question for your boyfriend?” You ask out of pure curiosity

“He’s apart if the fraternity silly,” Bela giggles, “I don’t want to be showing up alone. so, how about it?”

She’s going to be the one leaving you alone for her boyfriend... Won’t she?

“Okay,” You answer unconsciously

“Great,” she smiles, “I’ll pick you up around six tomorrow.”

You watch her walk up to the coach and you follow the rest of the girls to begin practice. 

After practice that evening, you only rinsed out your hair in hopes to avoid Bela. However, once you had just gotten out of the shower, you realized you unconsciously did your “post-swim shower routine”. So you didn’t rush out of there.

“You okay y/n?” Bela asks

She was wearing her undergarments that time so you were slightly thankful.

“Yeah-yeah,” You sigh

“Are you sure?” She asks

“Yeah, practice is different from high school,” You say, changing the subject, hoping Bela wouldn’t notice how you felt about yesterday

“Oh- I just remembered,” Bela says, reaching into her bag

You look over and notice that your hoodie is in her hands. You had too many already... 

“Keep it,” You say, “You make it look good better than me anyway.”

“Even if my name isn’t on here?” She asks

“Definitely,” You smile, holding the locker room door open for her, “Besides, doing indoor percussion for almost nine years now gets you to own too many hoodies.”

“Nine years?!” Bela asks

You nod, “Fun fact, after high school swim season for the girls’ team, I’d turn to music and participate in indoor percussion.”

“Do you still do it? Indoor Percussion?” Bela asks

“Yeah,” You say, “I currently have a contract with a top tier world class percussion ensemble for this coming season.”

“That’s awesome y/n,” Bela smiles, “I’ve never been to one of those kinds of shows.”

“Well, I juts might bring you along,” You suggest, “It’s fun to watch.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” She smiles

Her boyfriend yet again pulls up to the both of you. You watch her drive off with him as your heart sinks again. 

Why are you feeling this way when you clearly know she has a boyfriend? Grow up kid...

You walk to your car once more and decide to treat yourself out for something to eat.

Once you got back to your studio apartment, you felt your phone vibrate. When you open it up you see a text message from an unsaved number.

Hey, it’s Bela. This is y/n’s number right?

Hey, yeah. That’s my number.

Despite knowing she has a boyfriend, you enjoy talking to her. Like friends. Right?

The next day you focused on school work however, putting off the photo assignment as you haven’t gotten a clue on what to do. However, you see your phone’s screen light up again and see a message from Bela.

Hey, just a reminder, just dress like you’re going to the club.

Okay, got it.

You stand up from your couch, declaring that was enough homework for the rest of the night, you go through your closet and spot an outfit; red crop tank top/lace bralette combo, ripped skinny jeans, dr. martens and a leather jacket to top it all off. 

Perfect. Wait until Bela sees you.

When you finally put on your leather jacket, you decided to put on some dark red lipstick to give more ‘oomf’ to your look. When you had finished applying it, you hear your phone ring. You look over and see Bela’s icon on the screen. You unlock your phone and hold it up to your ear.

“Hey I’m here,” Bela says from the other end of your phone

“Great, I’ll be down in a second,” You say, hanging up the phone

You exit the bathroom and grab your apartment keys and exit your apartment; locking your door. You almost rush down the stairs when you see Bela’s cark park out front. You weren’t sure how Bela reacted to you when you stepped out of the apartment door however, when you got into the passenger seat, Bela was looking at you.

“Take a damn picture if you’re going to stare,” You flirt

She takes out her phone and snaps a photo. You didn’t think she’d actually do it. But, you weren’t complaining though.

“You-oh wow,” Bela say, breathlessly, “Since-since when do you dress like that?”

“Whenever I decide to look like a hot lesbian,” You say, sitting back into the passenger seat

The both of you didn’t really say much after then as Bela was focused on driving. When the both of you arrived, You get out first, just to open the door for her.

“A lesbian and a gentleman,” Bela flirts

You follow close behind her as you enter the fraternity house Bela talked about the evening before. You didn’t expect it to be packed. By the time you had fully processed a college party, Bela was no longer in front of you. Instead, in the arms of her boyfriend. 

“You look like you could use a drink,” One of the fraternity boys tries to flirt with you

“No thanks,” You brush him off immediately

You begin walking away, hoping to find a spot in the party to just think. 

What did we tell you kid? Now you’re alone... At a college party. You should have just lied kid...

By the time you decided to step outside it was packed too. You turned your heel and began to walk right back into the house. You had decided to avoid the party entirely now that Bela had left you for her boyfriend, yet she showed up with you, took a photo of you and flirts with you, you found a closet. 

You shut the door and take a seat. Luckily you brought your own kind of music to listen to when you want to feel isolated. You weren’t sure how long you sat with your knees up to your face. But you sure as hell wanted to stand up because you could no longer feel your arse. Feeling slightly confident, you decided to go back downstairs where the main party was happening, hoping you could have some time with Bela. You didn’t see any of your swim teammates, so she was the only one you felt that you could talk to. 

Fuck....

You were only halfway down the stairs when you spotted Bela’s hair in the bright light. Lips locked with her boyfriends’.

Aaaaaand we are going back up the stairs.

You had never went back up a set of stairs so fast in your life. However, you didn’t want Bela to see you looking heartbroken. You were easily seeable from the part of the stairs you were standing on. You rushed back into the same closet. Once you leaned against the wall, you realize it wasn’t a wall. It was a ladder. You took the opportunity to limb onto the roof. You were sure it wasn’t allowed but it would be better to be banned rather than watching your now crush making out with her boyfriend. You open the hatch and inhale the fresh, crisp scent of the evening air. Once you found a suitable spot along the rooftop, you scroll through your phone. 

Ahhh, This is the song to listen to when all you want to do is fall apart.... Or stargaze, or both.

“All the Stars” - Kendrick Lamar/SZA

A Classic. 

Although you had a whole playlist just for moments such as this one, All the Stars gave you a mixed vibe when all you want to do is to fall apart and stargaze. You turn up your music, shutting out the rest of the world. You didn’t care, you had your thoughts, your music and the whole night sky to yourself.

Bela’s POV She didn’t realize how much time went by until she looked out the window.

Oh shit it’s getting late. I have to find y/n...

“Hey babe, I’m going to look for y/n,” She says

“I’m sure the kid’s fine,” He says, drunk, “Stay baby. Please. Your boyfriend needs your attention.”

“Your boys can take care of you for now,” She says, standing up

Before she could depart from him, he forcefully grabs her wrist. In a panicked state, she draws her hand back.

“Not. Here.” Bela growls, turning her heel and leaving her boyfriend by his lonesome

She walks into the kitchen, seeing some party-goers playing beer pong.

“Have you guys seen a girl wearing a red crop top, leather jacket?” She asks

They all shake their head ‘no’. Bela rushes into the gaming area. The same response from them as well. Panicking, she checks nearly every area there was in that house. However, when she reached the top of the stairs, she barely heard anyone there. So, she checks each room to see if you were in any of them. To her dismay, no luck. 

“Where did you go y/n?” she sighs, “I shouldn’t have left you alone...”

Genuinely feeling guilty, Bela picks up her phone and speed dials your number.

Y/n’s POV You groan in annoyance when your music suddenly stopped playing. However, when you looked at your phone, you freaked. Bela’s name and icon showed up. Not knowing what to do, you panic and let it go to voicemail. Hoping she would give up, you just go back into your vibe.

“Isn’t she persistent,” You talk to yourself, seeing her name and icon once more

You, again let it go to voicemail.

Bela’s POV Bela was pacing along the second floor, trying to get you to pick up but each time leading to voicemail. She was beginning to get to the point that she thought you had left. However, when she looks over to an open door, a faint light shining down. She walks into the closet and noticed the ladder leading up to the roof. She decides to check the roof as the last place to see if you were there. As soon as she poked her head through the open hatch she gasps as she sees you lying down.

Y/n’s POV You were too focused on the stars in the sky however was now blurred. As your eyes adjusted to the new darkness, you could hear Bela.

“There you are y/n I was looking for you,” She says, “You will not believe what- hey, are you okay?”

Still having your music on loud blast, you turn your head towards the horizon line; where the land meets the sky. You didn’t want her to see you like this, you had nothing to be jealous of... But here you are; jealous of Bela’s own boyfriend.

“Hey, y/n look at me,” Bela says calmly

You began feeling like melted butter as soon as Bela’s fingers gently caressed your jawline and cheek. You let her turn your head to look at her.

“What’s wrong?” She asks

You don’t say anything but you only take out one of your earbuds and hand it to her. You couldn’t find the words to tell her how you were feeling. A new song had popped on.

“Too Afraid” - MARINA

She puts in the earbud just as the song begins. One of her hands wraps around your neck while the other lingers on your cheek. You gently put your forehead against Bela’s as the both of you listen to the song together. Your hands hold onto Bela’s forearms as it hit the chorus line. 

The both of you were up on the roof listening to your music for god knows how long. The both of you were lying down at that point; Your leather jacket wrapped around her, her resting against your shoulder, stargazing with you, still listening to your music together. 

She’s the first one to actually listen to music with you... 

“Hey, Bela,” You finally say, breaking the silence

She perches herself on her elbow, looking down at you, “Yeah?”

“Won’t your boyfriend be suspicious?” You ask, “I’d hate to see something happen to you if he-”

She places her finger against your mouth.

“Forget about him right now,” She says, “What matters more is that I need to make it up to you for leaving you alone.”

“Bela- you don’t need to do that,” You say sitting up to meet her face

“No, I want to,” She says, “That reminds me, have you eaten at all?”

You both hear your stomach gurgling from the lack of nutrient consumption.

“Guess that answers your question,” You chuckle

“I know a great 24/7 diner, wanna go?” She asks

“I’d like that Bela,” You smile

You finally had the courage to walk back into the fraternity house. Bela’s boyfriend was nowhere in sight. However, Bela doesn’t seem phased at the fact as she drags your arse out of the party and back to her car. 

When the two of you arrive there, you sit in a booth near the window.

“Now would you want to tell me why you were basically gone almost all of the party?” Bela asks

“I don’t know,” You lie, but it was also the truth, “I’m not very much a party person... Especially with a bunch of strangers.”

“Then why didn’t you say so? We could have done something else,” Bela says

“I didn’t want you to have to leave your mans just to make time with me,” You sigh, sipping on your milkshake, “Besides, you looked like you are the life of the party. I.. I also can’t say no to you.”

You didn’t realize how upset you sounded when you told her how you ‘didn’t want to interrupt her time with her boyfriend just to make time for you’ bit.

“What’s your ideal ‘party’?” She asks out of the blue

“Oh? well, just having three to four friends over, we just drink, eat junk food, play super smash brothers, watch a movie watch youtubers or all three. Not in that particular order though,” You ramble on, “That’s pretty much it. Nothing special.”

“When was the last time you’ve had one of those?” She asks

“Too long,” You answer, “Why?” Are you going to do something like that one of these days?”

“Something like that yeah,” She says

After the two of you had diner food she drops you off back at your apartment.

“Thanks Bela,” You say, opening the car door

Before you could step out of the car, you could feel her hand coil around your wrist and you felt her other hand turn your face towards hers and your lips meet each other halfway. She pulls away for you to process the fact, however, you lean forward even further and your lips meet hers once more. 

“Goodnight Bela,” You whisper when you pull your lips away

“Goodnight y/n,” She replies

You finally step out of her car. You don’t fully process what happened until you got into your apartment. 

You just fucking kissed Bela Dimitrescu...

Chapter 3

[shijiujun]

hey so uh, it's 110% Not Your Job, but can i ask for like a crash course on these chinese bl series that are everywhere around me but i don't know them. like i'm familiar with the untamed or however many names it has but i'm seeing two or three more???? help please if you can thank you

hello!! oh no worries, i happened to be looking for a distraction too so this was timely hahaha although it’s a pretty broad question since there are so many new live adaptations coming out (and some which have already come out which are featured as bromances), but let me see if I can like round this up for you a little. 

*i may be giving you a bit more than you need or like irrelevant stuff, but i guess i’m bound to hit something hahaha

Okay so the chinese BL series you’re talking about is The Untamed, and since you said you’re familiar I won’t get into it in detail, BUT just for like flow’s sake:

The Untamed (Chen Qing Ling) is based on the danmei (BL) novel written by MXTX, called Mo Dao Zu Shi (and yes however many like English translations to this title there is), or MDZS for short. You watched the live-action, and there’s like a lot of other versions of it e.g. the anime, the chibi anime, audio dramas etc. etc. the list goes on. In case you still haven’t seen any of those, just glance through this masterpost made by @the-social-recluse​ - In any case, right now everything is sort of already out EXCEPT:

MDZSQ - chibi donghua, cutest shit you’ll ever see

More MDZS merch 

Some teasers from MDZS mobile game which has been one year and developing

Now moving on to other BL series floating around so frequently - MDZS is the second book that MXTX wrote. So there’s SVSSS (The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving-System), which is also called lovingly by others in the fandom by Scumbag System/Villain in short, this is MXTX’s first danmei novel. Right now if you’ve seen this on Tumblr, it’s the anime (donghua) version - 10 episodes only for Season 1, available on WeTV with subs, finished airing like a few weeks ago. Translations of the novel are definitely out in full somewhere.

An absolute mess, but an organized one

Tried to do a manhua but failed

Everyone thought the donghua wouldn’t air on time either (it has a history of dropping development halfway) but it did

Would probably be the most entertaining if ever dealt with a live-action

And then there’s arguably, the most beloved child out of all three novels (at least right this moment) - TGCF (Tian Guan Ci Fu, or Heaven Official’s Blessing). This is the third and so far last (???) danmei novel MXTX has written, main pairing invented love. Strawhat-wearing scrap collector smiley angel with devoted kid-turned-adult-turned-ghost-king who follows smiley angel for like many years because he loves him. Anyway, if you’re seeing this, once again on Tumblr a lot, it’s the donghua version you’re seeing. Still airing, I think we’re midway through the whole season, the yelling starts Saturday (Asia time zone) and then extends into Sunday, sometimes Monday.

There’s like a god-tier Eng translation in full for TGCF by Suika

There is a manhua for this as well, only like 45 chapters in, but the time Jan/Feb 2021 rolls around, the donghua would have overtaken the manhua progress on the storyline HAHAHA

Apparently the director/production team who did CQL/The Untamed managed to get the rights to filming its live-action, but heh nothing much about that just yet aside from casting rumours and fans worrying that the casting will be done wrongly and also that they won’t be able to do justice to the story.

Alright now that we’ve more or less cleared MXTX and what everyone is hyping over (for good reason), let’s move on to the other CHINESE BL stuff you could be seeing (although I feel like you might not actually be asking about this), and these will all be live-actions (I’m also only clearing SOME of this year’s stuff, so none from before 2020, don’t ask me why I didn’t leave Guardian or SCI up here):

✨✨✨ Already aired, done and dusted or maybe ongoing, just ones I see on my dash and notifs so I definitely am biased ✨✨✨

The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty (Cheng Hua’s Fourteenth Year) - Many episodes, much bromance, base novel is gay af, but live action is cute af. Read more here and full translation is not yet done I think

My Roommate is a Detective - THIS IS A SPECIAL MENTION. NOT BL. Doesn’t even have like a book to go along with it, it’s just I’ve seen people getting into this again and creating content, so idk, imma just leave this here. It ain’t BL but it got the most glaring BL-esque relationship I’ve ever seen in my life. You’ll get what I mean if you watch it

The Lost Tomb Reboot - AGAIN another special mention, because many handsome young-ish men who you know, head into tombs, much bromance. Based on a huge series of novels, totally not BL, but as always with like a lot of men put into one story, ships happen. This year as well, in case you’ve seen it floating around

✨✨✨  Upcoming Chinese BL live-action adaptations, confirmed + casting + filming. You may have seen some of these because like posters were recently released etc. - As far as I know these are all slated for 2021 ✨✨✨

Faraway Wanderers (Tian Ya Ke) - A danmei novel by Priest, filming wrapped up, should be airing soon. Leads are pretty cute, although I’m sure they’ll turn this bromance. One of the male leads is known for a lot of period web dramas, and Gong Jun, the other male lead, is known for more contemporary modern dramas, but damn Gong Jun’s jawline

Winner is King (Sha Po Lang) - Another danmei novel by Priest, filming wrapped up recently as well if I recall? Posters recently released, and this is arguably Priest’s most famous and popular danmei

Immortality (Hao Yi Xing) - A super popular danmei novel called 2ha or The White Husky and His White Cat Shizun by Meat Bun. Filming also... wrapped? I think, because posters came out the next day and everyone from Earth to Pluto went mad, definitely one you should look out for next year spring i think, but I’m pretty sure there’s gonna be a hell lot more teasers, posters etc. coming up and then half of danmei Tumblr will probably go into cardiac arrest

The Society of Four Leaves (Zhang Gong An) - Ehhhh I think this hasn’t yet been filmed but casting was recently confirmed (contentiously).  Concept posters are up though. This technically isn’t classified officially as a BL. There are no CPs officially in the novel, but apparently it’s very like idk flirty etc., also slated for next year

*There are a few more by Priest, e.g. Liu Yao, but no concrete news that I’ve seen (by now like at least 60% of her danmeis either have a live-action contract or a donghua contract or both lmao)

✨✨✨  Upcoming Chinese BL donghua adaptations (2021-ish). All by Priest✨✨✨

*Throwing this in just as a by the way thing, because these are also recent news (these two weeks). There might be more but I haven’t seen anything yet personally :D

Imperfection (Can Ci PIn) - Space AU, the novel won like two national literary awards if I recall like last year? Anyway a brief trailer recently came out last week I think, and main lead is handsome af, and once again it’s space and space wars so it’s pretty cool

Silent Reading (Mo Du Zhe) - Novel is called Mo Du, and honestly I think the donghua has been like teasing fans for like idk years, but it looks like we’re finally getting to the donghua as the team previewed the first ep like... two weeks ago live to an audience? Modern crime thriller thing, there’s a masterpost going on Tumblr

Lie Huo Jiao Chou - Another Priest fan favourite, a historical + modern danmei combination. Much angst from what I’ve seen, but donghua teaser looked good also, released also last week

---

anyway hopefully some part of this or at least one part answers your question? if not, just send me another ask or like, DM me hahahaha

[ceoofanticatradora]

We need more anti C//A who are Adora stans (like you seem to be) so that people can understand that C///A is bad for Adora. Heck C//A is bad for Catra too, but the shippers don't seem to realize it. If Catra had been able to let Adora go maybe she could have healed instead of her festering and the abuse may have ended instead of escalated.

Hello Dear, welcome on my Blog and a big thank you for your message! Firstly I wanna apologize that this response is reaching you more than three full days, almost four later. Just real life getting into the way of my online presence (at least I got my A-Levels admission!) but I assure you that replying to you was on my To Do List the entire time. And while I could've typed something quick, I thought you deserved a full length response just as much as the person before you received. That goes for anyone really to ask/write me anything in the future.

Adora is a character that has flaws, her own interests, things she struggles with/is insecure about etc. but she also still works on being better (up to Season 5). This makes her relatable, fleshed out and overall three dimensional. Overall for me that makes Adora very likeable. Which is funny because when I first watched the show I thought of her as too goofy and felt like she as a character was overall just flat. Her character design did not speak to me either, the ponytail with the weird hair poof and these pointy shoulders of her jacket just really were not my taste. Isn't it amazing how perceptions can change?

As you can guess from that description I did not always stan Adora and she's probably still not my favorite character but over the almost two years I've been in this fandom I've grown rather fond of her. Other important characters to me are Kyle (a very relatable comfort character of mine, he learned to stand up for himself and others and I support that, f*ck Season 5 for barely acknowledging his existence), Lonnie (apart from treating Kyle badly (which I really do NOT support or excuse) I really love her, man, some women just do me like that, I mean she really stood up to Catra like that), Entrapta (I'm autistic too! It's great to have some representation, seeing the ableism/treatment she experiences in the show is not so much though), Seahawk (I don't even know why, I have some issues with his behavior towards Mermista at times but overall I love this dork), Scorpia (she reminds me of myself so much and I really wanna give her hugs, I'm so glad she chose to no longer let Catra treat her like that even though I will be forever salty she just immediately forgave her), Peekablue (I can explain this even less than Seahawk, especially since it was not even really him in the end but his existence somehow helped me cope with Season 5, without him I probably would've left this fandom ... and also my favorite color is blue) and Double Trouble (now there's enough people already critcizing how they're not exactly great Non-binary representation but this dramatic lizard will forever be in my heart, that reality check they gave Catra, basically slapping her in the face with facts was satisfying as h*ck, also I like lizards overall).

Now there's plenty of characters I like, dislike (or even hate) or am simply indifferent about but after all this is not a tier list but me talking about Adora, Catra and Catradora. Adora started off as this girl that was so sure what she was doing is right but once she was taught differently she was willing to leave everything she knew (except Catra, because she valued her despite everything) behind. And not only that, she broke out of the abuse cycle that Catra tried so hard to keep upright. And that is exactly what makes Adora such a good role model. She teaches children (or people) that:

Your past doesn't define what/who you are or what/who you can become

-> Adora used to be a Horde soldier and did not know where she came from, but nonetheless she found herself a family and became a hero that saved thousands of people

You can always change your mind and start a new life if you feel disappointed in what you are doing/who you are as a person

-> Basically the exact same point, Adora started a new life as she saw what the Horde really was and changed her mind about who to fight for

You deserve love too, be it platonic or romantic (or se*ual???) (If you're aro and/or ace just ignore the part that does not work for you)

-> While Adora for various reasons thought her only use was to please others and meet their needs and expectations (mostly due to Shadow Weaver and Catra) she learned to accept that she too deserves love and validation (if the love aspect would not have been focused on it being romantic love so she could smooch Catra in the finale this would've been a billion times better because she got love from her friends that showed her her real value)

You can walk away from something/someone, that does not make you egoistic/selfish

-> Adora walked away from the Horde, after Catra stubbornly refused to come with her despite many offers (basically Catra broke the promise, not Adora) from her too and that did not make her a "traitor" or "selfish", h*ck, Adora in the end did this for a bigger purpose too, even if part of it was her not wanting to live with such wrong morals

Your opinions, feelings etc. about a person/something can change and that is perfectly fine and valid, being able to change is part of what makes someone human

-> Adora's views on many things changed throughout the show: The Horde and the Rebellion, the First Ones, Catra, being She-Ra, herself, her priorities and so on ... she actually makes use of her brain, which is why Catra saying "Don't you ge it?" or calling her an idiot and dumb never sat right with me, she's a realistic character for shifting with her thoughts, feelings etc. and sometimes just does not fully think things through

You don't have to let other people treat you like sh*t (just because they have some issues they never worked through does not give them any right to let it out on you)

-> This point is obviously centered mostly around Catra and her abusing Adora almost every chance she gets, which is why Adora standing up for herself and not letting Catra blame her for her own decisions and mistakes is so important, "You made your choice, now live with it" is one of the most powerful lines throughout all the five Seasons

Now I'm sure there is still more to Adora's character than what I just listed and unfortunately almost all the points basically got pushed aside, well, Adora as a character got pushed aside in Season 5. All her growth, the things that made me love her, see her as great role model for so many people robbed of their value for the sake of making everything revolve around Catra. That brings me to her and how you are absolutely right that Catradora is harmful to both characters. Of course Adora is affected most by it in the end but Catra too is obviously suffering under the fandoms obsession and just the overall idea of them being romantically involved.

Just like with Adora the stans make almost everything about Catra over her relationship with Adora. She too can barely exist outside of it and if she wasn't the fan favorite she'd most likely would too be mostly in Fanarts that include Adora and not just her (if you google "Catra Fanart" most content is still Catra and Catra only but here and there Catradora still peaks through). But for whatever reason the fandom still views her more as her own person as the other ones? Catrouble and Scorptra Shippers might actually still get less hate than Glimmadora Shippers (I'm not denying they don't get any, they most certaintly do) which is just plain hypocricy and favorism. Kinda like the: A woman needs to be loyal to her husband and her husband only but if the husband wants to be active with other women that is perfectly fine because "that is just how men are" or how i like to call it ... sexism. Now in this case they are both women so it's not sexism but yo do get my point.

But much more importantly, Catra has an unhealthy obsession with Adora. Signs of that are for example:

Constantly talking about Adora, even when said person is not around (to Shadow Weaver, Scorpia etc.)

Obsessing over having control over Adora like in that one Episode "Are you kidding? I finally got control over Adora, I'm not giving that up!"

Building her entire character and her actions around Adora "We need to take Adora down", "Adora left me", "I'd rather see the whole world end than see you win!", also shown in Season 5 where she states she does save Glimmer only for Adora and not for Glimmer or to do the right thing

Getting aggressive or very emotional over Adora like clawing the wall, having nightmares etc. (destructive behavior towards herself and others)

Having no or barely any characteristics outside of her relationship with Adora like, we don't know her interests or likes and dislikes outside of being evil, obsessed with Adora, being abused by Shadow Weaver ...

Trying to force Adora to meet her needs and expectations regardless of Adora's owns

Sacrificing her oppurtunity to be happy in the Crimson Waste for the sake of her Adora obsession and being better than her at all costs

So yes, you were very right with saying that not putting Catra in a relationship with Adora would've benefited both characters. Catra could've learned to exist on her own, develop interests and a life outside of Adora. Learn to accept herself and eventually come to terms with her childhood abuse. She could've been free and not "the abusive cat girl that ended up with the person she unhealthily obsessed over to the point of no return" she kinda is now. Even if we ignore the whole "dating your long term abuser" part from Adora's side and "being rewarded" for horrible behavior, Catra alone is not giving a good example to people watching. As much as I dislike Catra, disdain her even, an ending where she is dependent on Adora, unable to stand on her own two legs after she led armies in war is not what I would wish for her, even with a decent redemption arc (that she did not get).

[addictedtooverwatch]

OWL: Overwatch League Teams Tier List

Since the 2021 Overwatch League Season is starting in a couple of days(April 16th), I want to talk about my opinions on the teams. Even though OWL doesn’t get as much attention as it did when it first started, I still really enjoy watching it and want to talk about it. I’ll get back to theories soon, but I want to write about this so, I’m going to go over each team from the top to bottom of my tier list.

S Tier - Most Likely to make Playoffs

San Francisco Shock: They are obviously at the top for winning the Overwatch League two times in a row. I think they might become even more aggressive with FDGod replacing Moth as main support and with Nero kind of taking over Rascal’s place for flex DPS. I’m interested in seeing how Glister does since he is replacing the god on Widowmaker that Ans was or if Striker is going to be playing more Widowmaker.

Shanghai Dragons: They did really good, being top four, but they didn’t look great during the playoffs. I have no doubt they will do good since they have Fleta, the 2020 MVP, but I still think SF Shock is better.

A Tier - Might make Playoffs

Washington Justice: I’m from D.C. so I am biased, but they looked really good just before the playoffs. They also have Decay who is an amazing player overall, and they picked up Assassin, Fury, and Mag over the offseason which I think is definitely a good thing.

Seoul Dynasty: So, they made playoffs and top two, so I think that they definitely have a chance to get to playoffs again, but they weren't as consistent as Shanghai which is why they are lower.

Philadelphia Fusion: Like I said, I'm biased toward the Justice, but the Fusion did make it to playoffs and I think had the most stable run through the 2020 season, but they looked awful in the playoffs even with Carpe playing.

Los Angeles Gladiators: They have looked good last season and have picked up Moth and Shu, so they got some upgrades. They also picked up MuZe and skewed who have decent records in Overwatch Contenders.

Dallas Fuel: They picked up most of the Paris Eternal roster from last season, so MAJOR UPGRADES. They also got Fearless from Shanghai which is also good.

B Tier - Middle of the Pack

Florida Mayhem: They did decent last year, with Yaki and BQB looking really good, but they never did anything amazing. They didn't win any major tournaments and acted slightly as gatekeepers between the best and decent teams. Also, they traded Fate and got Oge which seems more like a sidegrade, not an upgrade. They did get Slime though, so I'm not sure.

New York Excelsior: They did alright last year, but never looked as good as they used to. With that said, they got a bunch of contenders talent who look really good and they still have JJoNak and BiaNcA who looked good last season.

Boston Uprising: They looked like trash last year, but they got some major upgrades. They were able to get Valentine who is a really good DPS player, so I think that there is a good amount of potential.

Atlanta Reign: Like Florida, they are gatekeepers, but they got Kai, formerly known as KSP, and Pelican which makes their DPS lineup look a lot scarier.

C Tier - Has Potential

Toronto Defiant: Toronto didn't look that good last year and I haven't seen them play in any offseason tournaments, so I'm not sure how much they have improved. Though, they got players from Philadelphia Fusion and LA Valiant, so they might be better.

Guangzhou Charge: They did alright last season, but not super consistently. They also didn't look great in the skirmish they did against the NYXL and they traded Happy and Nero, two of their best players in my opinion, but you never know.

Houston Outlaws: They have some really good talent, with Happy, KSF, and JAKE, but I'm not sure how good they will do. They could go higher up on this list though.

Chengdu Hunters: I would put them in the middle of the pack tier if they weren't as inconsistent as they were last season. They won matches when the meta was good for them, but it wasn't that often a good meta for them came up.

Hangzhou Spark: They weren't great last year. They didn't win much, but I think they have potential since they have players like Architect or GodsB who looked alright.

D Tier - Ehhhh

Vancouver Titans: They were like the worst team last season and they traded sHockWave to the Philadelphia Fusion who was like their best player, but they got LiNkzr who is amazing, so they might be ok.

Paris Eternal: So, they got rid of three of their FRENCH players, SoOn, NiCOgdh, and BenBest which I think isn't great for their reputation, and in the matches, we have seen the new team in, they didn't look great.

London Spitfire: They looked pretty bad last year in APAC and lost what we have seen them play in so far.

F - Abandoned their old team

Los Angeles Valiant: Like the title suggests, they dropped their whole team and move to China. So, they dropped McGravy, Agilities, KSF, KSP/Kai, Adam, RaiN, Lastro, Dreamer, and Shax. Most of them were picked up by other teams like Kai going to Atlanta and Lastro and Agilities going to Toronto, but some of them decided to quit like McGravy and RaiN. Also, the new team was just thrown together; some Chinese Contenders players were offered to join and they declined. Check out PlatChat's podcast episode on it.

Anyways, I'll post my Archives 2021 Skin review soon, I just felt like posting this earlier than planned. Also, if you have the time, you should check out PlatChat's power rankings, it's really long, like almost 3 hours, but from what I have watched it's really funny and informative.

TLDR: Look at the image below or read the full post, please, and thank you!

[forestwater87]

Every episode of Camp Camp ranked: A very (non)objective list

It's well past the time of year when Season 5 of Camp Camp would've dropped. I fully understand and support it not coming out; the crew's health and safety are much more important than a comfort show.

However . . . man, would it be nice to have some comfort right now.

So I'm reliving the entire series! I've been known to share with the world a whole bunch of Spicy Hot Takes, but I've never really sat down and talked about my feelings about the show as a whole. 

And what's the best way to do that? Well, just ask Jenny Nicholson: a numbered list! That is, here's the series ranked from worst episode to best, because I want to get the negativity out of the way early and focus on everything I love (and because people enjoy complaining, so let’s frontload all that). 

The takes will be hot. The feelings will be intense. The post, I'm assuming, will be largely unread.

Let's do it!

Oh and duh, there are spoilers. I tried to keep it pretty chill, but you’ll want to have watched the whole show or just not care about spoilers before going forward.

Also slashes in the middle of “naughty words” are meant to prevent this from being kept out of the main tags. Who knows if it’ll work? I don’t.

60. Who Peed the Lake? (Season 4, epis/sode 3)

Ah, good ol' Pi/ss Lake (or as @hopefullypessimistic84​ calls it because she's funnier than any of us will ever be, “Pis/s Fe/tish Dot Com”). Terrible, one of the few I’d consider nigh unwatchable. I actually kind of love this episode for being such great shorthand for "the absolute worst one."

Who signed off on an entire episode centered around Sherlock Holmes meets a bad om/o joke? Give me names and addresses: I just want to talk.

59. Reigny Day (Season 1, episode 6)

And nobody was surprised.

I'll admit I'm more willing to defend this episode than many people, but it's not . . . like, good. It seemed okay when there were only 11 other episodes to compare it to, but now that there have been so many bangers, this comes across as extremely weak. 

And let’s just say the Na/zi jokes hit a lot differently in 2020 than they did in the summer of 2016.

I’m overall happy with the direction the showrunners have moved Dolph’s character in, and I can’t totally blame them for using a kind of humor that was fairly common in the pre-Trump era, but yikes, this has aged like milk. And it wasn’t even very funny at the time, so it aged like milk that was already pretty bad to begin with.

58. Squirrel Camp (Season 4, episode 10)

This is a dumb one.

Not much else to say; it’s just kinda stupid and lame.

57. Fashion Victims (Season 4, episode 13)

I love Sasha, but this is filler. Which isn’t in itself a bad thing -- I have a couple episodes near the top that could reasonably be called filler, and a valid argument could easily be made that “filler episodes” don’t actually exist in a show with no plot -- but as much as I adore the Flower Scouts and enjoy the handful of good moments we get in this episode . . . who cares? Does anyone really give a sh/it about anything that happens here? Does anyone get their life from this one?

I didn’t think so.

56. Foreign Exchange Campers (Season 3, episode 3)

I know, I know, your Russian waifu came from this episode. Why do you think it’s so low on this list?

Okay, for real: this is . . . fine. It’s fine. It’s fine? I’m not mad at it, it just feels tonally incongruous and not very memorable beyond the fact that the fandom got really weird and kinda gross about Vera. But the episode itself? There’s some cute stuff with Neil and Nikki being jealous, but for the most part it’s a big hunk of white bread with some super mild white cheese that’s kinda soggy from sitting in a bag for too long and getting all condensation-y. 

That is to say: it’s fine.

ETA: Space Kid does say “fu/ck.” I can’t decide if that’s a point in the episode’s favor or against it.

This is the last of what I’d call the “bad” episodes. Everything after this ranges from mediocre to mind-blowingly amazing. But whatever our failing tier of Camp Camp episodes is, it stops right about here. 

Onto the good stuff!

55. Night of the Living Ill (Season 2 Halloween episode)

I keep switching this with “Eggs Benefits,” which probably means they should be tied. But whatever, this is my list and I am in charge and I’ve finally decided, after like 5 changes, that I like this one a little bit less.

It’s a fun Romero parody with nothing I’d call bad. Really this one’s only so low on the list because I think it’s kinda icky, and looking at those green snotty faces makes me queasy. If you think this is a bad reason to put it near the bottom of the list, then make your own post.

54. Cameron Campbell Can't Handle the Truth Serum (Season 4, episode 11)

I . . . don’t remember this at all. I initially had it a bit higher because I tend to love things with Campbell in them, but then I realized that nothing about this episode stuck in my brain even a little bit. 

Oh, this is the “Dolph has autism” episode that made everyone either extremely happy or really mad? Okay. I guess that’s the most remarkable thing about it. Neato.

Cam, I love you, but this was just not the best use of your sleazy charm.

53. Eggs Benefits (Season 2, episode 9)

This is one of those episodes with enough cute moments and good ideas to save it from being totally unmemorable, and I mostly enjoy rewatching. Platypus being a mom is a fabulous idea, and pairing the campers the way they did was mostly really interesting and fun.

The Preston-Nurf stuff takes it down several pretty significant notches, though. It’s what the kids would call problematic, and while I normally enjoy how the show doesn’t skew away from darker themes and jokes, it didn’t really fit either of their characters and just . . . isn’t fun to watch. It’s not especially funny, it’s not especially tragic, it’s just uncomfortable.

52. Camp Campbell Wants YOU! (Season 1, episode 0)

Honestly, this would be a lot higher if it was a full-length episode. It’s funny.

The next 5 or so episodes fall under the “cute but not very memorable” umbrella:

51. Nikki's Last Day on Earth (Season 3, episode 4)

I love the ensemble episodes, so this was always going to score higher than any of the single-character “meh” eps. I didn’t see the twist coming, though I know a lot of other fans did. Textbook example of “cute but not very memorable” -- the Platonic ideal of that concept.

50. The Candy Kingpin (Season 3, episode 9)

A clever idea that plays on Max’s worst characteristics and then calls him out for them, while also giving Dolph some much-needed character development. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like it really picks up until the last third of the episode, leaving the rest just kind of sitting there.

49. Campfire Tales (Season 4, episode 13)

Who doesn’t love campfire stories?

That’s all I got. They’re campfire stories.

ETA: OH SH/IT THIS ONE HAS THAT REALLY SCARY STORY! Where David’s all like . . . Slenderman’d. Fu/ck, I didn’t remember that until I was writing out my thoughts for #35 or so. That definitely elevates it, but I’m too tired to try and re-decide where this should go, so just tie it with “New Adventure!”

48. New Adventure! (Season 4, episode 4)

New trio! Focusing on these 3 was a definite risk, and I think it really paid off. While the “plot” itself isn’t anything special, there are a handful of really great side gags (hi, Dirty Kevin!!!!) and it’s fun to see these three interact. They all get some nice character beats. It’s a good time.

47. Something Fishy (Season 3, episode 8)

This might’ve hit me harder if I’d actually seen The Shape of Water, but the send-up works fine without having more than the seen-the-trailer level of understanding. Gwen dresses pretty, which I love; Max sucks, which I also love. What drags this one down is mostly feeling like the surreal aspects of the comedy go a bit too far into the “what the fu/ck am I looking at?” territory without really . . . making an actual joke beyond “look! Wacky!"

Why is David at the opera with a bird? Why??

46. City Survival (Season 3, episode 11)

Literally do not remember a single thing about this episode except David getting mugged and being called a “homeless twi/nk.” That should probably rank it lower on the list, but David being a fluttery mother hen saves it for me -- as does the fact that it leads directly into one of my favorite episodes, and the single best story arc of the series.

Next set of episodes is what I’m going to arbitrarily call “okay! but like the good kind of okay, not the bad kind.”

45. Bonjour Bonquisha (Season 2, episode 7)

Max and Sasha masterminding a scheme is really fun; their dynamic is great (though it won’t be fully realized until Season 4), and heartbroken David is so tragically cute it actually makes my heart explode out of my chest.

Also I can’t resist a good “3 kids in a trench coat” gag.

44. Anti-Social Network (Season 2, episode 2)

Neil is very relatable and I don’t have much else to say about this one. It’s fun to see an episode that more heavily focuses on our nerdy science boy, and Max and Neil teaming up to save Nikki was really charming and sweet and set my Makkiel ship out to sea.

43. A Camp Camp Christmas, or Whatever (Season 2 holiday episode)

Why does this episode have a musical number? It’s not good.

Okay, that was mean. This is fun and cute and Gwen wears a pretty purple sweatshirt and Space Kid gives her a present and it’s really sweet. But that musical number is an instant fast-forward for me, sorry.

42. Preston Goodplay's Good Play (Season 4, episode 7)

We get some Preston character development! Awesome!

It’s done in a really trippy and surreal way that totally fits his character and heightens the drama of the episode! Awesome!

David has an apparently-tragic history of being a French mime! Not a good call! 

Next tier: Some good sh/it! (Tbh, these could all be put in just about any order; they might as well be one massive tie.)

41. Cookin' Cookies (Season 2, episode 11)

I love the Flower Scouts. I love Dirty Kevin. I love the idea of accidentally starting a dru/g empire. Another weird, borderline experimental one focusing on side characters, and I think it works better than “New Adventure!” because the scale of the melodrama is just so over-the-top.

The fact that this is in the bottom 20 but I have nothing but good things to say about it illustrates how dang good this show is. It’s only getting better from here, folks!

40. Romeo & Juliet II: Love Resurrected (Season 1, episode 7)

Preston is a terrible playwright. This makes sense, because he’s like 11, but he’s the kind of hilariously bad I wish I’d been as a preteen, because his play is absolutely bonkers. Max fucking with David is great, Tabii vs. Bonquisha is great, Bonquisha in general is a giant amazonian goddess and I want to be swept up into her giant arms. Neil is . . . a robot, for some reason?

So much fun!

39. Camp Cool Kidz (Season 1, episode 4)

I don’t love Ered’s characterization in this one, but there are a lot of wacky hijinks in this episode that I think make it really enjoyable. Max’s wide-eyed revolutionary naïveté is a fun change from his usual dour pessimism, and Nikki’s loyalty to Ered is both very gay and very charming. Plus we get to learn a bit more about how the camp operates (and fails to operate), and it’s a nice way to better establish the campsite as its own setting.

(Definitely think “Cool” should’ve been spelled with a K though. But whatever, I don’t write for the show.)

38. Scout's Dishonor (Season 1, episode 3)

The birth of Neeancy! The introduction of the Flower and Wood Scouts! Neil saying “cu/nt” -- one of the first and only truly shocking uses of profanity in the entire show! ZUKO!

I don’t know if my fondness for this one is rooted mostly in nostalgia or if it was actually really fun, but I enjoyed the he/ll out of it. Not as highly-rated as some other episodes mostly because it doesn’t really do anything, character or story-wise, but not every episode needs to be a massive game-changer that drowns us in feels. Sometimes it’s enough to have a fun romp, and this is very that.

37. Ered Gets Her Cool Back (Season 3, episode 2)

Awww, Ered. I have a soft spot for her, because I love the archetype of a spoiled bit/ch clearly still figuring out how to be a person and have friends. You really get the sense of her as a teenager trying to sort her shi/t out in this episode, which I would love to see more of. Her interactions with Nerris are top-tier, and I like that it’s a continuation of how her character’s been softening since Season 1 into this kind of big-sister figure.

Also, all the female campers in this show are lesbians. I do not make the rules.

36. Attack of the Nurfs (Season 4, episode 2)

I feel like this is a pretty underrated episode. But then again, I feel like Nurf is a pretty underrated character, so maybe that’s just my own personal bias.

I really enjoyed all the different iterations of Nurf, and I think Blaine did a killer job giving each one its own personality and life. It’s a fun episode that plays hard with cartoon physics (a 3D printer printing people! I love it!) and has a surprisingly moving ending.

At least, that’s what I think. Most other people seem to find this one pretty forgettable. Again: make your own da/mn list. I liked it.

35. Mascot (Season 1, episode 2)

This entire episode is memorable for so many things, but a few of my favorites:

David is established as kind of a di/ck.

Platypus arrives and kicks all the as/s.

Quartermaster is the best.

Nerris, Harrison, and Space Kid all get little moments to show off how cute they are.

Neil and Nikki bonding.

This:

34. Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak (Season 2, episode 3)

I love watching Nerris and Harrison bicker, and Neil and Nikki fit really well into their group. It reminds me of being a kid, and of playing Dungeons & Dragons (as an adult, because I’m so cool), and of summer . . . which is a really good thing for this show. There are a lot of funny one-liners, and it’s just a good dang time.

33. Quartermaster Appreciation Day (Season 2, episode 6)

I don’t think this one is all that well-loved, but I thought it was funny. There are literally zero important plot or character moments, but it made me laugh a lot, and that’s all I need a Camp Camp episode to do. 

I love QM, and the more we learn about him, the more confused and disturbed we end up being. What a fu/cking champion.

32. Arrival of the Torso Takers (Season 3 Halloween episode)

I lowkey hated this one when it came out, because I knew the Daniel stans were going to be exhausting. And they kind of were? But looking back, it’s a great way to reintroduce this motherfu/cker. He’s a lot scarier than he was the last time around -- but also less competent, which is a great way to kick him in the proverbial ba/lls -- and while I wish it had a lot more Gwen in it, it’s a clever and creative Halloween episode. 

31. Operation: Charlie Tango Foxtrot (Season 3, episode 10)

Charlie . . . Tango . . . Foxtrot . . . CTF . . . OH! Capture the Flag! I never got that before. Oh, that’s neat. I love this show.

Listen, every time the writers decide to take a risk and do something bizarre and creative, I’m going to be here for it at least a little bit. An entire episode told from the POV of the Woodscouts, explaining how hard they failed in all directions? A great gag where everyone in Petrol’s story talks in grunts? The return of Jermy Fartz?! Fantastic. 

30. Panicked Room (Season 4, episode 16)

Listen. I’m a sucker for my trash grandpa; anything Campbell-centric is probably going to be pretty good (except #54), because he’s just one of the most consistently funny and engaging characters. Good times are had whenever this terrible man is on the screen, and giving him a romantic backstory? A tragic romantic backstory full of mistakes and emotional damage?? One where he waited 17 YEARS for the love of his life???

We have no choice but to stan.

29. Party Pooper (Season 4, episode 15)

I’m so predictable. If you put Gwen in something, I will be happy. If you make an entire episode about how Gwen is under-appreciated and overworked and just trying to do her best despite the circumstances, I will dedicate my firstborn child to you.

Anyway, this episode is really sweet, and I liked the unexpected direction the writers took her relationship with her dad. He seems like a nice guy, they seem like they have a nice relationship, and . . . well, an episode about how hard it is to be an adult millennial hit pretty hard. Plus this was just a really pretty episode -- and not just because Gwen was in so much of it! Seriously, that night sky was a thing of beauty.

Also if you say a fuc/king word about Max and that godda/mn dog I will choke you out with your own intestines. Few things are more hilariously, annoyingly ironic than the fact that the entire fandom ignored and failed to appreciate Gwen . . . in the episode all about how everyone ignores and fails to appreciate Gwen.

28. Culture Day (Season 3 holiday episode)

Now, would it be arrogant to point out that I had the idea for a Culture/Heritage Day back in September 2018? Yes, especially since I don’t think the writers ever read fanfiction and it has literally nothing to do with this episode. Will that stop me? He/ll no it will not! I am a creature of ego! Read my stuff! 

Anyway, this is a really fun look at Neil’s background, personality, and relationships. Max looking out for him is just . . . oh my god, I cannot, I’ve written like 30 of these and my brain is starting to melt, but these two are so cute. I love arrogant Neil, and I love protective Max, and I love QM and Gwen fuc/king over the Flower Scouts to save the day. Everything about this episode is lovely.

27. Cameron Campbell the Camp Campbell Camper (Season 3, episode 7)

This should not be ranked so high (even if these are all essentially tied). This is a dumb episode based on a really, really dumb premise. 

But . . . I don’t know what to tell you. “Samboy Kidwell,” Max realizing he and Campbell are disturbingly similar and not liking what his future could look like, David’s “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” face . . . this episode happens to hit all of my favorite things. It had a really good balance of heavy-handed moralizing and goofs, it was part of the most graceful lead-up into a finale the show has ever had, and I’m just all about it. 

Excellent job, Samboy. Count Olaf would be proud of your disguise.

There ends the “some good sh/it” tier. We’re starting to get into the really excellent stuff now!

26. Parents' Day (Season 2, episode 12)

I know. You want this to be higher. I hear you.

Honestly I’m kind of shocked it’s this high; it’s my least favorite of the season finales so far, and I had to push past a lot of prejudice to actually rank this where I think it deserves to be, as opposed to somewhere in the like mid-40s. Mostly because it gave fuel to the raging inferno of “Max has terrible parents and David should adopt him” headcanons, which I’ve detailed my problems with extensively in the past (in a post that, statistically speaking, none of you have read).

But, trying to be objective: is this episode actually any good?

Well . . . yeah, it really is.

So much work was put into giving each of the campers families that make sense with their characters and bounce absurdly well off of them, ranging from wholesome and adorable (Nerris’s family) to quietly tragic (Harrison’s parents), and they’re all designed so well; they’re fun to look at and fun to watch interact with the kids and each other. (The only exception is Dolph’s dad, who is both kinda lame and misattributes the cause of the weird Na/zi thing because it did not come from Germany, I assure you. But things with Dolph are always a little off, and I don’t really know how you would give him a backstory that actually works with the character, so they were caught between a rock and a hard place there.)

The drama of David having to choose between the man he considers his father and the camp he considers his home is really touching, and him and Gwen choosing to take a sad camper out to get pizza instead of covering for their boss’s a/ss is such a beautiful moment for both of them that I can’t really blame the fandom for losing their mind over it. Campbell’s arrest leading into the arcs of the next two seasons was great as well, and the finale left us all with this weird sense of foreboding because we didn’t know what was going to happen next; it was the only finale that actually ended on something close to a cliffhanger, while still being satisfying enough to keep us all from melting down.

Plus, it’s funny. Carl and Candy are really funny and the idea of Neil and Nikki’s parents boning is funny in a horrible way. The joke about Quartersister is funny. It’s a good episode.

Should this be higher? Maybe, but I can’t bring myself to put it above the rest of these episodes. Again: make your own list.

25. Mind Freakers (Season 1, episode 10)

The episode that launched a thousand ships. Assuming those ships are all Harrison/Neil, anyway.

It’s hard to talk about these Season 1 episodes because they feel so classic. Like, what is there to say? You’ve all seen it a couple dozen times; I’ve seen it a couple dozen times. Harrison is a di/ck, Neil is possibly an even bigger di/ck, and magic may or may not be real. (Though spoilers for literally every season: yes, magic is definitely real.) It’s so much fun watching these two smug as/sholes snipe at each other in an almost literal playground hair-pulling way that could very easily be read as flirtation. 

And the fandom did most certainly read it that way, at least for a little while.

24. Gwen Gets a Job (Season 2, episode 8)

It’s Gwen. What, was I supposed to not put it this high?

This was the first Gwen-centric episode, and it absolutely slaps. She’s pushed to the breaking point and responds by being a cold-hearted BAMF, and it got her some pretty significant hate from fans but I don’t give a fu/ck, I loved it. We got to see her all dolled up, and then we got to see her all disheveled, and both of those looks were gorgeous. David gives her a tiny fragment of the love and validation she deserves (I don’t know if this is when gwenvid started taking off -- I think it wasn’t really until “Parents’ Day,” or even Season 3 -- but I ate that s/hit up).

Also, again: job hunting post-2008. It’s a bad time, y’all. Camp Camp gets it.

23. Follow the Leader (Season 4, episode 6)

Yeah, I was kind of surprised at how high this landed, too. I guess I’m just a sucker for unlikely companionships, and these three have a great chemistry. The combination of competitiveness, sass, and reluctant admiration make their interactions a lot of fun. Their motivation of doing petty errands for Campbell for the sake of getting at the Box of Illegal Contraband is a great framework too, with high enough stakes to justify all sorts of wacky shenanigans without causing actual anxiety.

I want to see these characters forced to spend more time together. Please, RT, make that happen.

22. Escape from Camp Campbell (Season 1, episode 1)

In terms of numbers, this feels so low, but considering everything from about #45 on is ranked as at least decent, this is actually a pretty high rating. There are 21 episodes I’d call better than this, but these decisions were all pretty painful.

This introduces us to everyone! The main trio, the counselors, Mr. Campbell; we get a snapshot of the major personalities running around the camp, the major points of conflict (Max vs. David, primarily), the major building blocks of future episodes, setting, and relationships . . . 

Again, I don’t know how much of my love for this episode is nostalgia -- there’s a lot of squeeing at familiar faces and gags; this is the first time David gets hit by a bus!!! -- but it was a fun and funny introduction to a series that’s ended up being so important to me, and I’m so grateful this wonderful, quirky little show with its wonderful and quirky little premiere. 

Of all the episodes, I really can’t look at this one objectively. It’s too important.

21. The Fun-Raiser (Season 3, episode 1)

David and Gwen scheming is my ki/nk. They very rarely scheme together, but every single time their teamwork makes the dream work (or, more frequently, makes the dream fail horribly and have disastrous consequences) my soul flies out of my body and takes to the stars, where I write another 500 first chapters to gwenvid fanfics I’ll probably never finish.

This is a great follow-up to “Parents’ Day,” where we immediately see the consequences of the previous season finale and what happens when the one adult in the camp disappears. Mr. Campbell was a terrible adult, true, but at least he was smart enough not to steal QM’s hook. Like . . . whose plan was this? It was so bad. These two are hilariously incompetent sometimes -- often when their bad ideas are feeding off of each other, actually, a la this and “Space Camp Was a Hoax” -- and watching them frantically try and keep all their balls in the air is so great. 

The ending is satisfying, too; a bit graphic, in keeping with a show that tends to keep the violence limited to periodic spurts of bloodshed 1-2 times a season and mostly pretty mild the rest of the time, but between Max stepping up and fixing everything while still being his shi/tty self to our dear dumba/ss counselors getting their dumb as/ses handed to them (deservedly so, if we’re being honest) . . . it’s such a great note to begin a new season on.

20. Journey to Spooky Island (Season 1, episode 5)

A classic.

We get to meet our spooky boy Jasper, we get to watch the comedy trio play off each other and continue to sketch out the general contours of their friendship, and we get to see the Quartermaster with a big purple dil/do for a hand. What’s not to love?

19. The Butterfinger Effect (Season 4, episode 17)

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I’ve already gone into some pretty intense detail about why I think this one is actually really good and carries the theme of embracing change that everything about Season 4 was centered around, but none of y’all read that so here it is in short: this episode is super funny, almost all of the campers’ transformations work really well as extensions of their characters while still being strange and surprising, and the fact that Nurf creates all of these problems by trying to solve them is deliciously fun to watch in a karmic sort of way.

Or maybe it’s just because any Nurf-centric episode is going to rank pretty highly for me. That is also possible.

18. Space Camp Was a Hoax (Season 2, episode 10)

Our camp counselors being bad people: it’s my drug of choice.

We get Space Kid tripping balls in what might be one of the funniest sequences in the show, the entire camp coming together to try and pull off the stupidest, most impossible task (and kinda maybe almost nailing it???), and once again the fun of watching Gwen and David scramble to keep from getting caught in their boss’s shit/ty lies is so great. And Lindsay’s voice acting is absolutely killer, even more so than usual. 

17. Jermy Fartz (Season 2, episode 4)

I get the sense this might be a somewhat controversial one. 

I’ve written before about why I think this episode is a lot of fun, but it mostly boils down to two things: watching the campers try (and fail) to be nice to the most bully-able person on the entire planet, and the essential likeableness of Jermy. 

No, really.

I think a lot of people were put off by Jermy’s general grossness, because . . . my god is he disgusting, but he’s also polite and good-natured, and seems totally self aware of how difficult he is to be around, without letting it make him depressed. He’s cheerful in a weirdly downbeat way that’s impossible to understand until you see him in action. He’s so matter-of-fact about his own awfulness in a way that I found entirely endearing. I don’t think I’d want him at my camp, either, but get that kid to a good dermatologist and gastroenterologist, teach him some basic hygiene and social skills, and you’ll have quite a little gentleman there.

I do however find it hilarious that apparently David got the type of tree wrong when making fun of Jermy. Not only is that a great moment for reveling in David being an as/shole, but he didn’t even have the right wood. F/ucking idiot. I love him so much.

These last ones are my favorites! (Well, duh, that’s how this whole ranking thing works.) Maybe not perfect, but just really good and with limitless rewatch value.

16. St. Campbell's Day (Season 4 holiday episode)

They Grinch’d Camp Camp. Those brilliant bast/ards, they really pulled it off.

Ignoring the fact that David is truly frightening-looking for most of the episode, this is a great bookend to Season 4, following up on the theme established in the first episode about how David is a flawed and selfish human being despite trying his best not to be.

This is another one I was surprised to find so high on the list, but the more I thought about it the more I realizes how good it is. David being a jerk is always one of my favorite storylines, and the fact that the trouble comes from him trusting Mr. Campbell too little instead of too much is a nice twist on the usual formula. Gwen coming to help him out despite a blistering hangover gave me aggressive shipping feels, yes, obviously. 

Between a lot of really funny little gags like QM’s failed satanic ritual and the genuinely touching moral about the importance of spending time with the people you love, it’s just a really lovely episode that gets just the right amount of maudlin for the holiday season. 

15. Jasper Dies at the End (Season 2, episode 5)

I kept switching this and “Dial M for Jasper”; it was a really difficult decision to make, figuring out where these two belonged. I think in the end, while the John Dies at the End reference was very, very good, this one loses me a little bit by being told from David’s perspective. Now, normally the more David is in an episode the more I’ll be likely to love it (see my #1 for proof of that), but his blinders when it comes to the camp and Mr. Campbell result in a really funny story, but one without the same emotional heft as hearing about what happened from Jasper’s point of view.

That doesn’t mean it’s not perfect for what it needs to be: each Jasper episode builds on the previous ones, and having the same intensity of “Dial M for Jasper,” where we learn how he died and how his relationship with David fell apart, would be weird and heavy at this point. In Season 1 we just found out he’s a ghost (and eagle-eyed viewers realized he’d been a camper with David); in Season 2 we find out how David views their friendship and time at camp; and in Season 3 we get Jasper’s perspective. It’s an absolutely wonderful raising of the stakes (for lack of a better term), but the one that packs more of an emotional punch is going to rank a bit higher than the one that’s mostly just for laughs.

That being said: there are plenty of laughs in this one. Everyone -- Griffin, Miles, Travis, the animators -- nailed this one, and it gets funnier every time I watch it.

14. Camporee (Season 1, episode 11)

AKA the episode where Forest realized she was in love with Gwen. 

What a great idea for an episode, seriously. Every coming-of-age story has a talent show or a competition or a big game -- something where the kiddos can show off their improved skills and teamwork to beat their bullies or whatever. And this show has both kinds of bullies: the popular girly girls and the violent muscleheads. What a great moment to pull everyone together and show how friendship can help us accomplish anything!

Except . . . of course that’s not what happens. Of course they’re absolute garbage, and of course teamwork isn’t the answer. Gwen is the perfect foil for David here, being the anti-teamwork, anti-Camp-Campbell adult who can perfectly and effortlessly undermine David’s relentless optimism. David wants so badly for his campers to live in the same coming-of-age summer movie he did as a child, and their staunch refusal to do that leads to a really heartbreaking closer to the episode, as well as lead into the next one. Everything about this, from the challenges to the setup to Gwen shouting “we are winning this FUC/KING trophy!” is just gold.

13. David Gets Hard (Season 1, episode 9)

We have David. We have Nurf. We have Gwen. We have Max trying to be helpful in the shi/ttiest way possible.

We have all the makings of a da/mn good episode. And they deliver. Not a very emotionally intense or moving one, but so, so funny.

12. Dial M for Jasper (Season 3, episode 5)

This isn’t the fate any of us expected for Jasper, and it’s not the fate of a lot of people wanted. But godda/mn it, it worked. The constant bait-and-switch the episode keeps playing with, where you keep waiting for something really dramatic and tragic to happen . . . and then the reality is that Jasper died because Mr. Campbell was stupid and careless, and it was all just a horribly sad accident.

It’s anticlimactic, but in a way that suits the series, both as a comedic counterpoint to all the hype throughout the episode and as a way to establish that Cameron Campbell is a bad man first and foremost through selfishness and laziness, not Daniel-esque sinister evil. Jasper’s death was totally avoidable and totally Campbell’s fault, and while that’s sad, it also adds a weird sort of lightness to the episode. David didn’t do something terrible to kill his best friend, Jasper didn’t kill himself, and without having actively chosen to murder a child (well, not this time), the door remains open for fans accepting Campbell’s later pseudo-redemption. It was just an accident, and Jasper was “haunting” David to tell him that he was sorry for how their friendship ended. That’s really sweet, actually.

I think it’s the best way this reveal could’ve gone, and I’m so impressed with how they pulled it all off.

11. Into Town (Season 1, episode 8)

This might actually be the only flawless episode in the entire show. I mean, I call a lot of them flawless, and I mean that on an emotional level -- “I love this so much I cannot see anything wrong with it” -- but this one is a masterpiece of storytelling. All the technical jumbo I’m bad at, like planting and payoff and tension and all of that, is just perfect.

I feel like this is the kind of claim that needs to be backed up with a long-as/s essay full of citations and video clips and references to, like, Joseph Campbell or something, but this is my 49th entry in the list so I am not going to be doing that. Besides, I don’t think my English degree qualifies me to critique film/animation; I don’t even entirely know half the terms I’ve used to compliment this episode. Someone else please explain why this is such a good one.

10. The Quarter-Moon Convergence (Season 4, episode 5)

I’ve mentioned in other entries that the weird, surreal humor sometimes doesn’t work; it feels too much like being odd for its own sake, and sometimes gets so distracted in being surreal that it forgets to include anything funny or meaningful. 

This . . . is not one of those.

Putting Harrison and QM together is a stroke of genius; the two of them are literally the most magical beings in the entire show, and using them as the conveyance for this great Lovecraftian horror-comedy was such a good idea. I don’t know if we’ll ever see these two interact in another episode -- honestly, this felt a bit like lightning in a bottle, and I have a hard time imagining what could possibly bring them together again -- but if this is the only episode we get, it is such a fantastic one.

Harrison makes a really good everyman, despite his powers; he’s just the right amount of confident and insecure to pull off that wide-eyed apprentice to QM’s grizzled wise mentor. (The fact that QM is objectively a terrible mentor is beside the point.) I still don’t entirely know what the two of them accomplished, but it feels baffling and momentous, with the perfect amount of gravity to make things extremely tense all the way through to the end.

Also, I guess God is an octopus? That’s kinda cool. I like octopuses.

9. Camp Corp. (Season 3, episode 12)

Another unpopular opinion? Oh ho ho, I am so contrary! I am Not Like Other Fans! I am the Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, refusing to have the same opinions of all you prepz.

I know this wasn’t the most well-loved episode, but I think it did a really great job tying together story threads woven throughout Season 3: Max’s selfishness leading to him hurting other people, his growing realization that he cares about his friends and the camp itself, the parallels between him and Mr. Campbell (and the fact that they both get this redemption moment in the finale). 

This is the most Max-centric season, focusing on his flaws and character growth, and they pulled it off in a really organic way that felt faithful to his character, touching without being too maudlin. The fact that his feelings about the camp are echoed in Gwen, Neil and Nikki, the other campers, and even Mr. Campbell drives home how important the camp -- and David -- are to this strange little family. 

Each season, Max reluctantly becomes a better person, without changing the fundamental core of who he is. That’s a really hard putt for the writers and Michael, and I’m blown away every finale by how they so consistently nail it.

8. Time Crapsules (Season 4, episode 18)

Gwen-centric? Check.

Max learning how to be a better person while still being the bratty kid we know and love? Check.

Looks at one of the most under-appreciated character dynamics in the entire show (i.e., Max and Gwen)? Checkity check-check-check.

I don’t really have much to say about this one, which I should: it was considered a pretty serious letdown to a lot of fans, and I’m not sure how to explain why I loved it so much. 

Comparing Max from “The Order of the Sparrow” to Max from this episode is wild. It’s not like 2 different characters: they’re still very obviously the same cynical, self-absorbed 10-year-old trying to survive summer camp. But he’s become a more considerate friend and decent version of that kid, and it’s great to watch. The moment where he and Gwen go too far and immediately regret snapping at each other is still painful (on my god, the VAs in this show, they’re so talented), Nikki and Neil both get nice subplots about how they’re also growing up, and the ending is fuc/king hilarious, perfectly breaking the tension from Campbell’s speech, which is both beautifully done and important to hear, especially if you’re in a period of uncomfortable transition (like, say, in your late 20s, or living through about 5 different national and global catastrophes).

And okay, I found that speech on the wiki for this episode and it made me deeply emotional, so here:

Here's the thing: you've got to take your failures and make something out of them. Take Camp Campbell for instance: a lot of poor decisions went into making this place what it is today. Sure, somewhere along the line it maybe strayed from its path, not living up to the camp it wanted to be. At some point, the camp realized that the camp would never reach the end of its path until it was ready or until it gave up. So, if the camp wanted to keep embezzling money and dealing with foreign powers, so be it! But, at some point, it didn't anymore. I never saw this coming, but I'm starting to think this camp is the best it's ever been.

If this is the last episode of Camp Camp we ever get -- and for at least a little while, it looks like it’s going to be -- I can’t think of a sweeter, funnier, and more lovely bittersweet note for this show to go out on.

7. The Lake Lilac Summer Social (Season 3, episode 6)

And again: No one was surprised. 

This is the longest non-finale episode of the show, and it uses that time perfectly. Rather than having some big emotional moments and character arcs -- which are great, don’t get me wrong -- the writers use the extended time to build a series of shenanigans as complicated as Gwen’s matchmaking web, and watching her try to set up a series of dominos (with David, for once, being the responsible, level-headed one) is almost as satisfying as the catastrophic results. 

Neil and Snake steal this episode, even from someone as in love with Gwen as I am, and for an episode that’s largely about making fun of shippers, there hasn’t been one that launched nearly as many ships as this. Neil/Snake? Tabii/Erin? Max/Nikki? GWENVID?! It’s all here, and I am here for it.

It was also fun to get a traditional episode setup in a very non-traditional show. I assume this means the beach and/or hot springs episode is forthcoming. (No, Pis/s Lake doesn’t count. Obviously it doesn’t count.)

6. Keep the Change (Season 4, episode 1)

Again, this is an episode I’ve said a lot about in the past -- and I was pretty uncharitable toward Season 3, which in retrospect was very unse/xy of me -- but I stand by a lot of my opinions then: this is a fu/cking great episode.

David is an as/shole, Max is an as/shole, Campbell is an as/shole. No one escapes the as/sholery. David schemes, Max catches him in the scheme, Campbell gets drunk and kind of gay . . . I’m 54 entries into this list and I don’t have much to say anymore: it’s just really good and fun and I love it.

5. Camp Loser Says What? (Season 4, episode 9)

This is another one I kind of hated when it came out, and again for fandom-related and personal-grudge reasons.

Fu/cking Daniel. That motherfu/cker. He shows up for 12 minutes and Tumblr bursts into flames. Every single time.

However, it’s really hard not to love this one. Daniel-as-Trump is a clever but subtle -- I mean, for this show’s definition of subtle -- allegory, and it’s amazing how much this slimy freak and the Woodscouts slot into it. David is a bise/xual disaster with the absolute worst taste in men, Dirty Kevin and Daniel are onscreen together for all of 2.5 seconds and the kevdan shippers lost their minds, and Xemug looks like Megamind for some weird reason.

My only minor complaint is that the ending is a bit anticlimactic, but it plays on Daniel’s stupidity and the value of teamwork, so it’s a very small nitpick in an episode that mostly works like gangbusters.

4. Cult Camp (Season 2, episode 1)

Duh. There’s a really good song and we’re introduced to a charismatic, sinister, and totally dumba/ss villain. What’s not to like?

I don’t think I even need to say anything about this episode. Season 2 started off the summer by throwing a lit firecracker directly at the viewer’s face, and ignoring the fact that we as a fandom proceeded to eat each other, it’s impossible not to get caught up in the episode’s wild energy.

And dude, that song. Fabulous. Fu/ck Daniel, but thank god he’s around to be such a prickly little pri/ck.

Now for the top 3: Literally perfect, wouldn’t change a single solitary thing.

3. After Hours (Season 4, episode 8)

I’m not sure anyone loved this episode as much as me. But this is my list, and I will put this up at the top if I want to and you cannot stop me.

It’s much easier in a lot of ways to talk about the episodes I hated than the ones I love this much. What do I say besides “literally everything about this fills me with joy and my life is better because it exists”? I don’t know. The counselors are my favorite characters, and between Gwen and QM having the weirdest bonding experience, Gwen getting to meet up with people who care about her silly fanfiction, Mr. Campbell being the trash grandpa of my dreams, David getting in way over his head . . . it’s the episode I always wanted, and they made it work so well.

Also, I just discovered that “Gwen Isn’t Your Mother So Stop Asking Her to Rinse Your Dishes” is an actual song and I am overwhelmed with delight. Here, I’m embedding it as well as linking because it’s so good:

God. This show. What the fu/ck even is up with this amazing, weird-as/s show.

2. The Order of the Sparrow (Season 1, episode 12)

Duh.

The entire first season is a great time (except “Reigny Day”), but it’s a pretty low-stakes kind of great time. There isn’t much in terms of emotional depth until the very end of “Camporee,” despite some hints at darker themes in one-off jokes and quick asides, so this episode comes a bit out of left field, tonally speaking.

But that’s not a bug, it’s a feature; if the show had been this overtly emotional from the outset, this finale wouldn’t hit as hard, and the rest of the season wouldn’t be as funny. 

This manages to serve as a capstone to the conflict of the first season, building on episodes like “Into Town” and “Escape from Camp Campbell” in a way that feels totally natural for both David and Max’s characters while revealing new sides of them. It works because it’s so unexpected, but it doesn’t come across as incongruous with their personalities. It’s the first and only time David swears in all 4 seasons, and that line -- I don’t even need to say it, you know exactly what I’m talking about -- still gives me chills.

Also, Gwen sings the camp theme song. Impossible not to cherish.

1. The Forest (Season 4, episode 12)

I’m not sure if this one is a surprise or not. It might be the obvious first place, or it might be a bit of an oddball for some people.

I had a really hard time choosing between this and “The Order of the Sparrow”; I switched their places half a dozen times, and the difference in quality between the two is razor-thin. I think part of that is because it accomplishes a lot of what “Order of the Sparrow” does: puts David in a situation where he’s pushed to his absolute emotional and physical capacity, crushes every shred of hope he has left, and sees what he’s actually made of when you strip everything away. It’s much more dramatic this time around, but it’s the same basic concept.

And just like in the Season 1 finale, what we see is a man who’s determined to do good even when he isn’t rewarded for it, even when he’s actively punished for it. Who wants to love nature, and life, and make the world a better place -- despite his faults, his selfishness and thoughtlessness and anger, David proves that he is fundamentally kind. He’s not nearly as deludedly optimistic as he seems; he just refuses to stop trying.

Because somebody fuc/king has to.

I’ll admit, some of what puts this one in first place is that I’m a sucker for whump, and David really goes through the ringer. However, I also think it’s important to acknowledge the risk Joe Nicolosi took with writing this episode: it’s all centered around a single character, it’s darker and more viscerally bloody than any other episode in the show’s history, the art is focused on these grand sweeping backgrounds that must’ve taken forever to paint, and there’s very little talking in a show that runs 99% on clever dialogue. This could have so easily backfired -- and for some fans it did -- but it was brave and beautiful and breathtaking.

I’ve actually only watched this in full once. It’s really hard to get through; it’s just so intense and even disturbing. But if there’s one episode I'll remember for the rest of my life, even when I’m 80 years old and haven’t seen the show in years, it’ll be “The Forest.”

It’s funny how such a sharp departure from the format and style of the rest of the show somehow manages to perfectly capture the heart of it. Talk about a fuc/king achievement.

So what have we learned?

I don’t entirely know what the purpose of this whole exercise was. I think it was mostly to get myself a nice Camp Camp fix that came from something other than slogging through 20 different fanfic WIPs, and to remind myself of what a strange and fun ride the last 4 summers have been. 

I also wanted to take a moment to acknowledge what Camp Camp means to me. This show has been hugely important to me on a personal level: I met two of my best friends through this fandom, and I’ve never been more connected to a community or readers than I have with CC. I know I bi/tch about this fandom a lot, but it’s a big extended internet family, and I’m so happy to be a part of it. Going through all these episodes, getting the chance to ramble about the things I liked and the things I didn’t, was a great way to reconnect with a series and community that I love.

So . . . what have we learned?

1. Season 4 was all over the place.

Some of this has to be due to the sheer volume of episodes, but when I sat down and organized everything into tiers:

There isn’t a single category Season 4 doesn’t have at least one episode in. I was surprised to see how high a lot of them ended up; it really was the best and worst of the show so far.

For the fun of it, I decided to give a number to each placement -- 60 points for the #1 episode, 59 for #2, etc. -- and see how each season broke down. Because that’s that kind of thing I think is worthwhile, apparently. And . . .

2. Seasons 1 and 4 are really good, actually.

Well, I don’t think anyone’s surprised to see how well Season 1 stacked up; it was amazing. But I was surprised to see how much I ended up enjoying Seasons 3 and 4, when if you’d asked me before this little project, I would’ve said they were the most underwhelming. Maybe I messed up the numbers a bit -- I’m no mathmagician -- but not only are they all really close, but Season 4 was one of my favorites.

3. This entire show is really good, actually.

One thing that really struck me when I put it all together visually is how most of the episodes sit in the “good,” “really good,” or “amazing” categories. The amount of episodes that are memorable, fun, and/or emotionally resonant is crazy. I don’t now how many other tiny cult-hit web series can say the same, honestly, and all of the writers, animators, directors/producers/other people whose jobs I don’t really understand, and voice actors should be commended for their outstanding talent and hard work.

4. Thank you, Camp Camp.

It was a real pleasure to relive all of these episodes again and think about what they meant to me. It won’t be the last time I sit down and watch this show -- and it certainly won’t be the end of my being a shrieking fangirl over it -- but with this break, where we have to get through a blazing, extremely difficult summer without a new season to fawn over, it’s nice to stop and appreciate what a precious gem of a show this is.

I hope everyone involved with Rooster Teeth is taking a much-deserved rest and prioritizing their health and well-being. Thank you for creating something truly special, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

[sadzcv]

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[simul16]

Low Effort in Their Own Way

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." - Leo Tolstoy, "Anna Karenina"

I've been watching a fair amount of D&D content on YouTube of late, for varying reasons, and if I may paraphrase Tolstoy's famous quote above, I've learned that all good D&D channels make high-effort content, while each bad D&D channel makes low-effort content in its own way.

Low-effort content tends to be:

Content that is or can be created quickly; it doesn't require a lot of prep time (and the presentation usually allows this limited prep time to show)

Content that copies current trends; while a certain amount of response to significant events in the gaming world is to be expected, low-effort channels regularly feature content that basically boils down to 'here's my reaction to whatever rumor or scandal is currently being talked about among the community'

Content that does not spark or contribute to a discussion; when such channels go beyond simply recapitulating a recent event, they frequently spend very little time explaining their own reaction and seldom spend any time at all explaining or exploring contrary opinions except to make jokes or elicit emotional reactions from an over-simplified or straw-man version of the contrary opinion

Now let's start off by saying that I'm not knocking low-effort content per se; anybody who knows anything about online marketing can tell you that low-effort content has a role to play in any marketing strategy. Ideally, though, your low-effort content, the stuff that you can get out the door quickly and easily and get in front of your potential customers, exists to guide those customers to your higher-quality content that convinces them to buy your product, order your service, or otherwise become someone who believes that you have something of value to say. Because it's cheap and easy to produce, low-effort content can be cast far and wide to serve as a net to capture many potential viewers and guide them to the gold mine of the really important stuff you have to say. Unfortunately, when your low-effort content is what you have to say, it very much begs the question of what exactly it is people should be coming to your channel for.

Here are a few but by no means an exhaustive list of the YouTube channels that to me seem to feature way too much low-effort content.

The Dungeon Dudes

The Dungeon Dudes are two guys (Kelly McLaughlin and Monty Martin) who mainly do scripted back-and-forth style discussions of D&D-related topics. I've talked about the Dungeon Dudes before, when taking apart one of their recent videos, but they also stream a D&D game they play in on Twitch (and frequently post recordings of those sessions on their channel), do product reviews, and generally do whatever they can to maintain a consistent pace of content output, generally a minimum of twice weekly. They've been around for nearly four years now, and have amassed about 273 thousand subscribers on their channel, with over 44 million views for their content, which seem like decent numbers for a niche content channel. (Contract with CinemaSins, which exists as a viral content manufacturer, and has amassed over 9 million subscribers and over 3.3 billion views. I'm not trying to say the Dungeon Dudes are the CinemaSins of D&D; if they were, their numbers would probably look a lot more like those of CinemaSins.)

The big problem with the Dudes as content creators is that, despite being a niche content channel, they are clearly in it to try to eke out some kind of income or living from the work they put into the channel: they've got a Patreon, they use affiliate links in the descriptions of their product review videos to gain some additional referrer income, and they do sponsored content when they can get a sponsor. They started back in the summer of 2017 with a very 2016-era plan on how to succeed at YouTube: put together a bunch of short (5-10 minutes, occasionally longer, but go over 15 minutes at your peril) videos and release them on an iron-clad schedule to get people used to coming back to your channel and looking over your new content, and to their credit, they've kept up their content production schedule very consistently over the past four years.

They've also learned a few things during that time and have adapted the channel in response: their videos explaining rules and reviewing new products tend to be more popular, so they work those topics in on a more regular basis. They've learned that the YouTube algorithm has subtly changed over the past few years to reward channels that can provide longer 'engagement' (which gives YouTube more opportunities to run ads), and have expanded their video length to an average of about a half-hour, with their re-broadcasts from Twitch being extra-long videos (between two and two-and-a-half hours) which, while drawing fewer total views, probably draw as much or more 'engagement' from the algorithm for the views they have.

But the need to spit out so much content on such a rigid, unforgiving schedule means that they have to aim for quick-creation and easy digestion: putting subclasses into a bog-standard tier ranking, making 'top five' and 'top ten' lists that seem like they're being cribbed from a more thoughtful resource, and generally getting stuff out the door (like their 'Powerful Spell Combos Using Teamwork' video) without spending too much time thinking about how valuable or even accurate their advice happens to be. More to the point, it seems to be taking its toll on the guys who serve as the hosts of the show: Kelly McLaughlin has a fairly dour expression in general, but lately he seems to have the countenance of a man who's about to post a 'very special episode' discussing the dangers of YouTuber burnout.

The Dungeon Dudes feature low-effort content because they have to in order to support the publishing frequency they've chosen; if they were to take the time to put together a truly high-effort piece regarding one of their traditional topics, their Patreon subscribers would likely be asking why their release schedule had slowed down before their work was even half-done.

Dungeon Craft

The Dungeon Craft channel is run by a fellow who refers to himself as 'Professor Dungeon Master'; I have not yet found any reference in his channel or elsewhere that identifies who he actually is, so I'll just refer to him as Prof. Prof has been on YouTube a bit longer than the Dungeon Dudes, having launched his channel in October of 2016, and has put out 185 'episodes' (as of the time of this writing), thus averaging between three and four episodes per month. Prof's own 'trailer' video explicitly states his channel's concept: "Some channels focus on running the game, others on building terrain, others on painting minis. I do it all!" You might think, then, that this would be a place to find quite high-quality content, especially related to terrain and miniatures painting tips, but it seems like the main effect of Prof making his channel be about multiple topics (and there are plenty of topics he discusses that don't fit into any of those three categories above) is that he can't successfully communicate what his channel is actually about, other than about his specific opinions. Maybe that's the reason he's sitting at about 65 thousand subscribers and just under 5 million views.

However, being at a slightly lower 'tier' of content production than the Dungeon Dudes is not itself any kind of crime or even indicative of poor quality -- after all, one of my favorite D&D lore channels on YouTube is RavenloftTravelAgent, and she's got just over a thousand subscribers and only about 50 thousand views on her videos. No, Prof could have a very high-quality, high-content channel with the subscriber numbers and views he has, but he doesn't.

Prof's issue is almost exactly the opposite of that of the Dungeon Dudes: instead of cranking out a rapid-fire, breakneck volume of content to keep up with an arbitrary content production schedule because that's how you make a living producing content for YouTube and you have to keep feeding the hungry algorithm, Prof cranks out content that's very easy for him to write because he's been involved in the game for a long time and already knows that the way he learned to play the game is the best way. Any topic that comes up related to D&D, he's got an opinion and can spit out a script explaining his opinion quickly because it's the same opinion he's held for decades. Classic D&D didn't have skills, so the next edition of D&D shouldn't have them either. Classic D&D had slow advancement, so slow advancement is better than fast advancement. This becomes even more obvious in the videos that have very little or nothing to do with running a D&D game, such as where Prof explains why he thought Avengers: Endgame sucked, or why he thought Season 8 of Game of Thrones was 'nearly perfect'.

Some of the oddest episodes of Dungeon Craft have to do when Prof makes admissions that make him out to be, well, the D&D channel for 'that kind' of old-school gamer: the ones who can make comments to each other that they can't make in front of their wives or significant others because the latter find the comments sexist, the kind of guys you can complain to about not being able to tell a Polack joke at work, the guys who treated D&D in the 1980s and 1990s the way that guys in the 1950s and 1960s treated golf where they could build a wall between the world as it existed and the world as they wanted to believe it was (and, if we're being honest, the way that they believed it should actually be). Nowhere is this more evident than in the video where Prof starts by discussing the hot, rich girlfriend he had once who tried but never got into D&D who he just had to break up with, and which by the 3 minute mark has him "calling bullshit" on the idea that relationships are built on compromise and negotiation. (I mean, you saw this coming, right? Right there at the end of the last paragraph about how the ending of Game of Thrones was so good? You knew that's where this was going, right?)

And, of course, he's not immune to just jumping on the latest bandwagon to contribute his drone to the chorus of voices talking about things just to be talking about things. It shouldn't be surprising that Prof jumped on the bandwagon of the lawsuit brought by Hickman and Weis against Wizards of the Coast over the upcoming Dragonlance trilogy, which turned out to be a nothing-burger. Even weirder is the tag in the description of that video which says "Analysis you can't get anywhere else", even though the video doesn't contain anything that hadn't already been discussed over the three weeks between the lawsuit and Prof's video other than Prof's own opinions about it. My favorite howler that Prof makes in this video is his assertion that, because Hickman and Weis got a lawyer to file a lawsuit, that means there's definitely fire under that smoke, because "big law firms do not accept cases they don't think they can win", which both ignores the existence of SLAPP suits as well as the existence of authors who seem to take perverse glee in suing rival authors just to drive them out of the industry. He's also responded with multiple videos in response to Cody at Taking20s controversial 'illusion of choice' essay, and his response to Ginny Di's essay on making online D&D suck less didn't include any of Ginny's solid advice on making online play more compatible with an in-person mentality (recognizing interruptive behavior, or using text chat to maintain side-conversations that would otherwise not be distracting in person), but instead gave these recommendations to players:

Keep your camera turned on

Mute yourself when not talking

Don't distract yourself with technology during the game

Nothing specific on recognizing how online play differs from tabletop play and suggesting ways to bring those two styles closer together, just commands because he's the DM and he says so. Or, in other words, low-effort, opinion-based content.

Nerd Immersion

Nerd Immersion, a channel by Ted that started in May of 2014 and has amassed over 70 thousand subscribers, starts his "channel trailer" video by leafing through a book, then looking up and saying, "Oh, hello" as if he'd just noticed that there was a camera on pointing at him while he's sitting in his orange-trimmed gaming chair. That, sadly, is roughly the level of thought that goes into the actual content contained on this long-tenured but seemingly still super-niche channel.

The weird thing is that at some point, it was obvious that Ted put some real effort into this channel. There are defined sections of the channel that focus on particular things, avoiding the Dungeon Craft problem of 'what topic is our channel about this week?' On Tuesdays, Ted posts a top-10 list. Ted comes up with an idea for a series, like 'Fixing 5E' or 'Reviewing Unearthed Arcana', posts regular articles until he's said what he means to say, then ends the series. (There hasn't been a new Fixing 5E video in roughly a year, meaning that Ted isn't wasting his own time and that of the viewer continually beating horses he's long since killed.) And he comes up with some great ideas for series, such as his series reviewing products on the DMs Guild; that particular series comes out somewhat irregluarly, but not so irregularly that you think he may have stopped doing the series without telling you.

Nerd Immersion's big problem can be summed up by simply looking at the list of videos on his channel and noticing that when he puts his own face on the thumbnail of the video, the startling frequency with which he's shrugging or has a puzzled face or just seems to be presenting himself as if he's not sure what's happening in his own video. I mean, I get it -- that's his image, the personality he wants to present to his audience. He doesn't have all the answers (a refreshing change from Dungeon Craft, honestly), but has some things to share if you're interested, so go ahead and take a peek. But then you take a look at those different sections we spoke about earlier and see that the 'Fixing' series all have the word Fixing at the top of the screen, the Nerd Immersion logo in the top left, two images underneath the text, one on the right side of the page and one on the left, separated right down the middle, and they all have Fix-It Felix on the far right. The Top 10 videos always have Top 10 at the top of the thumbnail. The Unearthed Arcana reviews all have 'Unearthed Arcana' at the top, then 'Review' in an odd off-set to the right beneath 'Unearthed Arcana'.

In other words, Ted has a formula, and he's damn well going to follow it.

Now it's not a bad thing to have a workflow -- if you're going to be cranking out videos at the volume that Ted does (not to mention the others on this list), you'd better have some kind of process for making the video, getting the thumbnail on it, etc.; otherwise each new video is a horrible nightmare of effort as you re-invent the wheel for every project. Nobody wants to do that, and the results would likely be unwatchable. Having a process is a good thing. But the Dungeon Dudes clearly also have a process -- they've put out at least two videos a week for three and a half years, so they damn well have a process or they wouldn't have been able to get out that much content. Looking at their channel, though, shows you that while they have a brand, and one that's evolving over time to boot, they're not just making the same video over and over again, or at least you wouldn't think that from looking at the thumbnails.

Ted's most interesting videos are where he's interviewing another person or even just having another person in the video, because having another person around clearly takes him at least a bit outside his rigid formulaic comfort zone. The problem is that those videos are few and far between -- the review of the infernal tiefling is about eight months separated from his interview with Celeste Conowitch about her Venture Maidens campaign guide. Also interesting are his unboxing videos, because Ted clearly likes minis and takes some degree of joy in cracking open and looking at new minis. His unboxing videos aren't as irregular as his interview videos, but they are fairly recent, with the first appearing just a few months ago, so it's still not clear if this is going to be a new regular part of the channel, or just another series that goes until he says what he wants to say about minis and then stops.

Most of the stuff on the site, though, is just, well, stuff, cranked out on a formula and thrown out into the digital void with the same soft-spoken volume regardless of whether it's major news or a press release. As an example, while pretty much everybody had an opinion on the Dragonlance lawsuit, Ted covered when the suit was announced, when it was dismissed by Weis and Hickman, when the actual trilogy that was the subject of the novels was announced, and the official release date of the first book in the new trilogy. When it came time to get ready to announce the newest campaign book, Ted was on the job, posting a video preparing for the announcement, another video later the same day when his original prediction of a Feywild adventure book seemed to be contradicted by other rumors that the book would be a Ravenloft book, then posted yet another video when the actual book was leaked on Amazon at 11:24pm later that same day confirming Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, posted the video discussing the official announcement of Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft the next day, and then the day after that followed up with more details on Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft revealed in Dragon+. That's five videos in three days, for a grand total of just over 100 thousand views combined. The intention seems like Ted wants to be the CNN of the D&D news scene, but with those kind of distribution numbers, the result is more like your local home town's shopping circular that occasionally also features stories about the latest project to fix the potholes on Main Street. Just like nobody's doing 24/7 news coverage of your local town council, nobody is (or probably should strive to) doing 24/7 coverage of the gaming industry and Wizards of the Coast. At some point it just becomes running a script, pressing a button to upload the next video, because it's news, and while you don't have to think about news to quite the same degree you have to think about more opinion-based topics, once you stop thinking about the process and what it is you're making, all you have left is executing the formula, over and over again, and both the input and the output becomes repetitive.

Repetitive videos, in repetitive formats, with repetitive text, to keep the monster fed for another day. I can admire the effort that goes into it, but the overwhelming presence of the formula involved in cranking out this content keeps me from feeling that it's worth engaging with. It's low-effort, because the effort has been meticulously removed from the process.

I could go on, but I think I'll stop here. There's not really any constructive criticism I could provide to these channels because, as I hope I've pointed out, it seems like low-effort content is pretty much the only thing these channels have to offer or in truth can offer, and anything that might cause their owners to re-consider their channels to improve their content would almost certainly lead to a very different if not wholly different channel. With things being as they are online, there's no guarantee that any new, higher-effort channel would be any more successful than the old low-effort one (remember the RavenloftTravelAgent channel with absolutely miniscule numbers; effort doesn't automatically equate with success). I can't even claim that being low-effort channels necessarily makes these channels bad (despite what I said in the intro); after all, they all have at least some good ideas, especially Nerd Immersion, and they each have subscribers and a following. I guess this is just my way of putting some small amount of effort into explaining why I don't feel like doing more to help these channels succeed, because I'd rather put my support toward channels making higher-quality, higher-effort content, especially because its not the content itself, but people engaging with that content that really drives a channel's success.

[mego42]

1x10 discussion questions

one season down, two to go!!! this has been so much fun y’all. i've watched s1 all by my onesies a totally normal amount of times but watching with all of you is it’s own kind of delight. your jokes and your takes are a+++. truly enhance the experience. and i know i say it every week but a sincere thank you to @pynkhues​ for organizing and all the work you put into it.

ANYWAY enough of the gross emo stuff.

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

this is a question with an objectively correct answer and it’s when dean gets hit by a car. the last scene is p good too i guess.

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

the line dancing scene chills me to my core but that says more about my feelings about line dancing than the scene itself. it’s not so much that it misses the mark as much as i consider it a personal attack on part with repeatedly saying sauce arms and making me remember the bandaid.

3. Let’s start from the top! That scene with Rio and Turner! This is our first ever Rio POV scene, and a lot of crucial information is delivered in it – from what Rio’s like as a crime boss to the situation with Eddie. What do you make of this scene? And do you think Rio ever saw Turner as a real threat?

rio saw turner as a whole ass snack and he was right

4. It’s Beth and Dean’s twentieth anniversary! Beth warms to him again over the course of this episode before the cancer lie is revealed. What do you think the trajectory of Beth and Dean’s relationship would’ve looked like if the lie hadn’t been revealed?

eventually beth would’ve taken out the trash. i don’t think there’s a version of the two of them that would work long term as long as beth is coming more and more into herself through crime and dean is, you know, dean. would’ve totally derailed the brio pacing though so someone get that doctor a medal.

5. Annnnd on a related note, do you think the cancer lie is lost to us forever, or that the show might still throw it back on the table at some point?

i have deep seated tv-related trust issues so i’ve convinced myself that no we won’t so i can’t be any more disappointed than i already am

6. Ben has his first few days at St. Anne’s, and it goes well, despite Annie’s reservations. Do you think Greg was right to change Ben’s schooling? Do you think Annie was right in having her reservations? Or is it some combination of both?

as a product of a catholic school elementary environment i feel extremely qualified to say that catholic school kids will fuck you up and annie was absolutely justified in her reservations. that said, clearly the public school kids were also fucking ben up so greg was in the right too. the moral of the story is kids are assholes. 

7. What do you think the show might be saying with the fact that Annie’s son finds safety at a school called St. Anne’s?

you know i never connected those dots before. it’s a little on the nose but it makes me go awwwww so i’ll allow it.

8. What do you think of the Fine & Frugal job overall? Do you think it was a good idea to set Rio up in the way that they did? Do you think it was a good way to get the money for Sara’s transplant?

the (second!! second!!!!) fine & frugal job was, to put it mildly, extremely stupid. just the fact that they robbed it for the second time is enough but oh my GOD the rio portion of the plan tips it over the edge. it’s too many levels of stupid i can’t list them all. it’s the girls at their most short sighted and it makes me want to bang my head against the nearest flat surface.

THAT SAID one thing that i’ve always really loved about the show is the girls are like, truly awful at crime in many ways and fairly consistently reap the consequences of that. i love that they’re sort of bumbling their way to success with their individual talents and determination but not being like, smooth criminals or whatever. i’ve watched the version of this show where that happens (*stares in weeds*) and it’s infuriating.

9. What do you think of the scene with Tyler at the end and how he let the girls off the hook in exchange for getting to be the hero? What do you think this tells us about the overall themes of the show?

i love the hell out of tyler that pure hearted himbo. i know there are deeper thoughts here around male entitlement and how it’s seen through characters like boomer and dean and turner and rio but it’s late and my brain is there. i do like how it’s mmmmmm underscored? subverted? by tyler basically asking annie to make it seem like he’s someone to be taken seriously. it reminds me of a little kid asking for help playing dress up or make believe. idk idk idk pretend i said something smart.

10. Mary Pat discovers Boomer’s been spying on her! It leads to one of my favourite fights of the entire series between Mary Pat and Boomer! What do you think that fight told us about Mary Pat and Boomer’s relationship so far, and who each of them are as people?  

mary-pat was deeply wronged and in a different ‘verse is bffs with the girls. JUSTICE FOR MARY-PAT

11. On a related note, what did you think of Mary Pat going to Beth with the news?

i love it, for as much as mary-pat tries to walk tall and carry a big stick or whatever, as soon as stuff starts falling apart her first instinct is to run to her crime mom for help. THEY SHOULD BE FRIENDS DAMMIT. 

12. Beth throws down a pretty big bluff with Annie and Ruby about going to Canada to take over Rio’s business. Do you think she actually intended to go through with it? Or do you think she was just joking? Or was it something in between?

you know how sometimes people tell jokes that are so funny hahahaha but also omg you guys what if we really did it? it’s one of those. 

13. In 100 words or less, please describe your emotional journey in watching Stan find out what Ruby had done for the money to save Sara.  

N O 

14. Annie and Greg have a pivotal moment together as co-parents at the end of this episode. Do you think this is a satisfying culmination to their arc across this season? And do you see any sort of future for them as a couple overall?

probs not any time soon bc i think zach gilford got another job but i hope so bc i love them lEaVE mE aLoNE

15. That! Final! Scene! Between! Beth! Rio! And! Dean! So much emotion! Give us all your thoughts, comments, feelings! And pretend you were yet to see s2 - what would you predict the outcome would be?

i love literally (like, actually literally) every single thing about this scene. truly god tier and we haven’t even gotten to the dean gets shot/face-touching/E L I Z A B E T H stuff. i’m trying to remember what i thought when i first watched this but honestly i think i was just mashing the next episode button over and over like some kind of psychotic chimpanzee on meth bc netflix wasn’t loading fast enough. 

[matildainmotion]

Extreme Times, Transitions and Your Extreme Powers for 2021

This time last year I wrote a piece entitled ‘An Encouraging Blog about Despair’ – this was in early January, before the pandemic. My son loves that moment in a story when someone says, “Well, at least things can’t get any worse,” and then, right on cue, a whole lot of worse-ness happens. This year I am not going to attempt to be encouraging – I think we need something else, to match the gravity and uncertainty of the times, that recognises all the worse-ness that has happened. But what? Right now I am not sure. Let me see if I can write my way to find it.

The thing that has saved my sanity through the year has been the working on and writing of a novel. It has kept me sane but also driven me mad, but at least it has been my madness, of my own making as opposed to the world’s. It has been astonishingly difficult. Often, I have felt more articulate about the toughness of the process, than about the story I am trying to tell. The images I have used to describe it have included marathon running, mountaineering, white-water rafting and tightrope walking. I am struck by the extremity of these metaphors. I have done none of these things in real life, and yet I have had a visceral sense of their accuracy. Most of my writing has taken place where I am now, crouched on the children’s bedroom floor. I do not look like I am engaged in anything wild or dangerous, but I like the idea that both my making and my mothering – activities that are often seen as domestic, docile – are in fact extreme sports. 

Photo credit: Viola Depcik, as part of the online exhibition: Portraits in Motherhood and Making during lockdown.

For now, I have come off the mountain of the book. Come January I will set about editing it – an attempt to turn the manuscript into something someone might actually want to read. This morning, I am in a moment of transition. What to write in the dark bedroom, before the children wake? Christmas wish lists and new year’s resolutions are the traditional seasonal texts, but I notice I have two counter impulses to these – two very different lists I want to write. 

The first is not a wish list, but a list of the unwished-for. A backwards-looking list of some of the worse-ness of the year, not as a plea for sympathy, empathy, not out of a need to confess, or because I am looking for advice, but because it feels important to name it. In these last months, on those precious trips out of the house, I have had many two-metres-apart exchanges of the “How are you doing?” kind. “Okay. We’re surviving,” I reply, and then come away, with my groceries in hand, my mask hanging round my neck, feeling desolate, surprised that I should feel it so deeply, when I was not expecting any more from the exchange. I think it is because I want to lay bare the utter ugliness of the year, like when you pull the fridge out and expose the amazing accumulation of dirt underneath. I know that we have been lucky, so when I list some of our un-wished for times, I do it in full recognition that others have had it worse, much worse. 

Here is a selection of my unwished-for list:

Easter – everyone in the house either shouting or crying or both. Still ill. My husband and son red in the face. My mother and daughter, white. 

Then the times – more than one -when my son, who is on the autistic spectrum, needed a play fight, to channel the aggression he displays when he feels threatened (and a threat may be as slight as a joke he did not understand, a small change of plan). I offer to fight him, and as I face him, hold his wrists, the energy in his body, but also in mine, is far from playful. 

A recent one - a double meltdown – my daughter screaming whilst we are Xmas shopping because she and I cannot remember something I said three days ago about her and a bauble she was hanging on the tree. Meanwhile it is raining. She is refusing to wear a coat. She runs away from me, up the pavement, beside a busy road, whilst my son, who cannot bear loud noise, lays down on the concrete and puts his hands over his ears. I am caught between the two of them – one on the run, the other on the ground. Masked people watching me, the rain coming down, the dark coming on. 

Three in the morning and no one is screaming or sobbing but me – the children are sleeping peacefully, and I am not. 

There is an edge to this – it is allowed to be hard, but it feels dangerous to expose the difficult details. It has not all been like this, but I do not want to sweep these times aside and hurry on. So I set them down, one by one, on the page. Then I can begin list number two. 

This is a list not of changes I resolve to make in the new year, but ones that came on their own, and are ongoing, unresolved. A list of the transitions already underway. Because these arrive unbidden, this is a list of the moments when I understood that change is happening:

When I find I cannot read the instructions on the side of the ‘stuffing mix’ and I realise I need reading glasses. 

When my period is two weeks late one month, and two weeks early the next. The skin on my eyelids grows dry. I read this too can be a symptom of the perimenopause.

When my daughter is at last weening (shhhh, don’t tell her, or she will object) and her favourite game is to play at being a ‘dumb baby’ who cannot remember where its mummy’s boobies are. She runs about the room, looking behind bookshelves and under covers, until eventually the baby realises that the boobies and the milk are on its mother’s chest. She does not want the milk now, she wants to play at being the silly baby, because she is turning into such a competent ‘medium big girl’ (her current definition of her size).

When my mother (granny) no longer wants to cook meals for us, but would rather that I cook for her. 

When my son starts to grow a greater awareness of his separateness to me and I find him in tears one night because earlier in the day he heard The Beatles song “She’s Leaving Home” and grew afraid that this might happen to him – that he would leave one day, leaving only a note behind.

When my husband and I realise we are going to need to move again, find somewhere we both want to be, to settle, where we can grow older.

When the children wait for snow, go out keen to find the ice on top of puddles to crack and splinter, but the winter stays mild, wet. 

And then there is the ‘transition period’ the whole of the UK is supposed to be undergoing, moving out of the EU, whether we like it or not. Lorries, stationary, but in long lines of transit, waiting to cross the border. And then there are the transitions- endless- from one tier to another to try to control the virus. 

I think of others’ transitions too, of friends, and friends of friends: people waiting for a baby to be born; waiting for a loved one to recover, or die; transitions of age, gender, status. 

What to do in response to these unchosen changes? I almost admire my daughter’s wish to fight them. Her maxim is not ‘to keep calm and carry on,’ but rather to keep screaming, whilst being carried. I am impressed by the volume of rage in her four-year-old frame as she attempts to stop things:

“You have to stop the car now,” she cries from the back seat, when we are in the middle of the road, “Right now. You have to do it. You have to, you have to, you have to…Mummy stop! Now! You have to stop!” It is a work-out of the will that can go on for hours and which leaves us both exhausted. It is extreme, and it makes me think back to the extreme metaphors for which I found myself reaching in trying to describe my writing process with the novel. 

I counsel her in acceptance, but I recognise my own desire to scream against the times, to stop the world. Perhaps I need to flip things round - to harness the power of the scream, even as I accept the ways things are. Often I think of acceptance as passive, equanimity as cool and quiet. But I am not sure balance, as figured in this way, is the right metaphor for our times. The feat of balancing required now is that done by the tightrope walker, cliff face climber, white-water rafter – an athletic equanimity, a muscular form of acceptance that takes all our might, all our will. 

Maybe it is time to reclaim the male image of the superhero. I like the way in the film of The Incredibles, the superheroic is recognised as a form of divergence from the norm, a daring difference, how the super ability can become a disability if the surrounding culture judges it as such. The image helps me to see my differences as potential superpowers. 

A third and final list then comes to mind, a forwards-looking one, that might support me through the transitions of this time, and on into 2021 – a list of my extreme powers. If it comes to needing to grow food, hunt, light fires – wilderness survival skills – I will be useless, but I can do the following:

I can survive on little sleep. 

I can hold onto the thread of a creative project or conversation through multiple interupptions and across many days.

I can imagine disaster, very fast, in almost any situation.

I can mother two intense children, both often awake till midnight.

I can name the elephant in any room. 

I can write a novel in the hour per day when my children are watching TV (this is a slight exaggeration - when school was happening I had a little more time, but on a list like this you are allowed to exaggerate). 

That’s it for now. I do not think we need to know or understand how our superpowers, our athletic abilities, can be put to good use. I do not think it is our job to calculate this, but rather only to keep in training. Ready. Skills honed. And also to notice, name and honour one another’s skills. I think I should write a list of my children’s superpowers too. As I write this, the children have woken and my husband is now showing my daughter the trailer for the latest Wonder Woman movie. My daughter likes her outfits, especially the golden bracelets. A glittering dress sense will be on my daughter’s list of wondrous powers. 

The other day my husband shared with me a quote, from a Hopi leader in the year 2000, which seems relevant to my three lists as 2021 begins:

“There is a river flowing now very fast.  It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.  They will try to hold on to the shore…..The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above water.  And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate.”

Writing a novel has felt like white water rafting, but actually being alive right now feels like that too. This year I offer, not encouragement amidst despair, but something more extreme - a call to arms, to your arms, my arms, arms that can carry children, stir soups, make stories - superhero arms strong enough, not to grip, but to let go of the shore. Mid river as we are, I want to celebrate each other’s extreme, extraordinary abilities. So, tell me your lists: the list of things you did not wish for, the list of changes underway, unresolved, and then the list of the superpowers you are hiding, honing, as we are swept along. What powers, however ordinary, bizarre, or seemingly superfluous, do you have to offer?

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Ok, lets talk the Winter 2021 anime season

Dear god, there are so many shows airing. A ton of sequels, and a decent amount of new shows. I think I’ll actually break down what I’m interested in watching into two parts, sequels and new. Lets get started. 

Watching:

Sequels 

Jujutsu Kaisen - This is technically a continuation rather than a sequel, but the spirit is the same. This was my choice for favorite anime of the season fall 2020 so this continuation has me pretty hyped. 

Black Clover - Still continuing. The manga had a 6 month time skip and the anime did some anime only stories with the author’s direction to cover that time period and now it’s caught up to that time skip. Shit is about to go down and I am stoked. 

Attack On Titan: Final Season - So this started airing in December which makes for a strange airing schedule, but it’s technically continuing from the fall season into the winter season. Anyway, it is fucking fantastic and this week’s episode left us on a major cliff-hanger for 2 weeks. 

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime S2P1 - Ok, so first... HOLY FUCK I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS SEASON, IT’S GOING TO BE AMAZING. Second, yes this is part 1. Thanks to covid there are some longer running seasons that are being split up to accommodate the production schedule. So this part 1 is airing in winter, then in the spring the 4-koma comedy re-telling is airing, and then in summer part 2 of this season 2 will air. it’s annoying, but 3 continuous season of slime is a welcome thing. 

Re:Zero S2P2 - Alright, so this is the second half of summer 2020′s season 2 part 1. I have high expectations considering what we’ve already been given. 

Dr. Stone: Stone Wars (S2) - HOLY FUCK I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THIS SHOW, I LOVED THE FIRST SEASON AND AM READING THE MANGA AND OMG I CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE.

The Promised Neverland S2 - More of the promised neverland. I’ve heard that this season will go even harder than the first season and Emma will prove even more why she’s best girl, so bring it on. 

The Quintessential Quintuplets S2 - A second season of a decent harem show? Bring it on. 

Log Horizon S3 - So I didn’t watch this when the first 2 seasons aired years ago, 6 I think actually. That said it’s always been on my PTW list and when I heard season 3 was going to air I decided that now was the time to catch up; and wow am I glad I did. I binged the first 2 seasons over the last 3 weeks and I am so fucking invested now. I cannot wait for this next season. 

Higurashi GOU - this is continuing from last season and I’ll keep watching it, though I’m still not quite sure how to evaluate it. 

Yuru Camp S2 - WOOHOO!!!!! This was the chillest of chill shows that aired winter 2018 and I absolutely loved it. I’m so excited for this next season for more camping and adorable girls being chill. 

World Trigger S2 - So I was under the impression that there were already 2 seasons of this show, I watched most of it I think but it’s been so long I don’t really remember much. But this is being called season 2... so either this is retconning the previous season 2 or that was really just 1 big season despite the notation on some websites. Also a S3 has already been announced so I need to hurry up and rewatch this before the new season airs. But with 73 episodes that might take a bit of time. 

Armor Shop for Ladies and Gentlemen S2 - This is a sequel to the short anime of the same name. If you like it, you like it. 

New

Cells at Work S2 - Ok, technically this is a sequel, but I’m including it here because of something cool that’s happening with the next title. 

Cells at Work: Black - Why yes, this is a different Cells at Work title. This is based on the spin-off manga of the same title that gender swaps the cells from the main series and covers their work inside an extremely unhealthy body. This is going to be a grittier, bloodier, and bleaker show than the main one and in a fun airing scheduling event, they will be airing back to back. I’m quite excited for the both of these. 

Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation - OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS GETTING AN ADAPTATION! SADLY IT’S A SPLIT COUR SO THIS IS THE FIRST HALF OF SEASON 1 AND THE SECOND HALF WILL AIR LATER PROBABLY IN THE SUMMER. BUT THAT’S OK BECAUSE EVERYTHING I HAVE SEEN ABOUT THIS SO FAR TELLS ME THIS WILL BE A PRETTY DAMN FAITHFUL ADAPTATION AND IT IS GOING TO BE FANTASTIC. 

Horimiya - I’ve heard many good things about this romance show and am looking forward to it. 

Redo of Healer - Ok, here we go. This is going to be the outrage anime of the season. That is, if it is actually watched by people. It’s also getting 3 different levels of censoring so uh, I’ll have to check for the proper versions when it airs. 

So I’m a Spider, So What? - Ok, so funny story. I’d been hearing about this manga for a while so I decided to dive into it a few months back. As I read it, I thought it was pretty funny but I wondered if the anime adaptation would be great for a comedy manga about a reincarnated girl into a spider’s body. Then about 3 weeks ago, I realized I was reading the comedy spin-off instead of the main story. That said I’m still quite excited to see this adapted and I’ll get the manga after then anime is done. 

The Hidden Dungeon Only I Can Enter - Hella ecchi, actually pretty fun manga. I’m looking forward to this adaptation. 

Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies moved to a started town - Hopefully this will be as fun as the manga was. Here’s a better synopsis than the Livechart one - Lloyd is the weakest person in his remote village but his dream is to become a soldier in the big city. So he moves to the city and strives to make his dream come true. However in a twist, it turns out that the remote village Lloyd came from is the retirement town for all the world’s strongest heroes and they are all massively overpowered, so when he gets to the city he’s stupidly OP but it doesn’t quite click for him. Shenanigans ensue. It’s fun and I’m looking forward to this adaptation. 

Bottom-tier Character Tomozaki - This is supposed to be not quite as good a romance as Horimiya this season, but still decent. If that is the comedy romance this is the drama romance show and hopefully it’ll be good. 

Kemono Jihen - Mystery, supernatural, Yokai. I’m intrigued in this show and hope it’s decent. 

Otherside Picnic - Shoujo Ai, Sci-Fi, I’m sold. 

Hortensia SAGA - This is based on a game, but I’ve heard that the story and scope are actually quite good and the PV actually looks quite good so I’m definitely gonna check this one out. 

SK8 the Infinity - Ok, so my first impression of this was nah, I’ll pass. But then I saw the PV and saw it was being animated by BONES and my impression changed to Ok I have to at least give it a couple episodes. 

2.43 Seiin High School Boys Volleyball Team - So this is supposed to be Haikyuu except lots more drama and less gameplay. It will really have to pull me in in order to get me to not think boring Haikyuu when I watch it. I’ll give it a couple episodes. 

Dr. Ramune -Mysterious Disease Specialist- - Doctor heals people from Yokai or something like that. The tags look interesting as do the character designs. I’ll check it out.

Back Arrow - Fantasy setting but BOOM... Mecha! That premise at least demands a couple episodes of my attention. 

Heaven’s Design Team - Here’s my chill comedy SOL show of the season. The premise is Heaven has a design team that creates/created all the animals. I’m very excited to see the shenanigans. 

Gekidol - Idols and stage acting. After watching the new Love Live last season I’m in the mood for some idol stuff. But most interesting to me is the next show on this list. 

Alice in Deadly School - It’s not currently known whether this will be a full series or an OVA or some other thing, but this is an anime of the stage play that is being put on in Gekidol. The same VAs in Gekidol that play the characters in this play are voicing the characters for this anime production. And I just think this whole setup is neat and am very interested to see it play out (pun fully intended). 

Idoly Pride - This seems to be a more straight-forward idol show which I’m going to check out. 

Maiko-san Chi no Makanai-san - Girl doesn’t quite cut it to do the thing she and her friend came to do, but she found that she can cook so uses her cooking for support her friends. SOL, lets go. 

Wave!! Surfing Yappe!! - Surfing show, the animation will make or break this show so we will see how it turns out. 

Wow, that is a lot of shows, lets add them up. 

13 sequels and continuations

22 new shows

35 total. I kinda hope some of these suck cause HOT DAMN, that’s a lot of shows.