#I miss LiveJournal and early Tumblr when searches worked

[amtrak12]

.... There's apparently been a month long Lucifer prompt event that I had no inkling of because it's on Twitter. aka the broken ass site that is unsearchable and way, WAY too public while deteriorating in functionality every single day.

Fandom, what are you doing?

[olderthannetfic]

hi, as someone who is tragically gen Z and only ever read AO3, can I ask: what was so great about LiveJournal? Like, I know that there were fics posted there (and I've even read about the "purge", so I get why it isn't used anymore) and that it was sort of a forum-type thing. But what I don't understand, wouldn't Tumblr fill in the latter function? How was that site any different? I see a lot of people reminiscing about it and I'm confused

--

A big factor in LJ's greatness is timing and nostalgia.

It was genuinely great, but it wasn't quite as great as all of the Lo, shall the Golden Age ne'er come again? posts suggest.

LJ arrived at a pivotal time in the development of the internet both in terms of technical stuff and how many people had access. Many fans who are now in their thirties to fifties first discovered fandom through LJ and many were at a time in their lives when they were feeling energetic and up to making lots of new friends—and to figuring out how to make a site work for them.

I got on LJ in 2002 when it required invites. Fandom arrived in droves in 2003, first via coordinated campaigns to get invites to key people and then when LJ opened up free account creation to everyone. Back then, LJ's features sucked. It was impossible to search properly, among other things. At its height (2005-7, let's say), there was a reasonable site search, and fans had developed all sorts of community resources for finding each other.

People often remember this phase but not the early days of suckitude.

This development parallels how Tumblr used to not have that private chat feature and how a lot of fuckyeah[whatever] type tumblrs have helped curate the site and make it much more usable for fans. Fandom draining away from LJ after strikethrough also parallels people draining away from Tumblr after the purge.

There are people who talk about Tumblr the way my cohort talks about LJ...

And to the shock of no one, they are people who came of age on Tumblr, who found fandom via Tumblr, who were on Tumblr during pivotal times in their lives and ones when they had energy to make friends and figure out how a site worked.

Those same Tumblrites are now making all the same geriatric-sounding posts we LJers do about how other sites lack the required features to be good for fandom while missing that 90% of tumblr's "features" at its height (2012-2016, let's say) were actually fan-created and were basically the same as any fandom newsletter or links page or all the versions of this kind of personal curation stretching back to long before the internet existed.

What life phase you hit a site at matters.

--

With all of that said, no, LJ was not a forum. It was a blogging site with threaded comments.

The key point to understand is that conversation was always happening in a specific person's space. Unlike on a true forum, people were in the comments on a particular post in a journal owned by another fan. (On a forum, there's the first post in a thread, but it's still more of a communal space with less of a hierarchy.)

Overall, the LJ format can have a feeling a bit like you're over at someone's house for tea. There's more of a sense of intimacy and also behaving yourself in front of community members.

Tumblr being obscure and impossible to find anything in does give it some of the same vibe relative to Twitter, but it's still part of modern social media that tries to shove every rando into the face of every other rando.

But it wasn't just vibes: LJ also had robust privacy features where you could lock a post to this or that group of friends. You could moderate your comments section properly. Tumblr has far fewer controls to force people to behave or leave on a technical level.

--

The biggest thing many people miss about LJ is the threaded comments. At least by late LJ and on Dreamwidth, you can expand and collapse threads, making it far easier to deal with a massive comments section. But more than that, things are properly threaded with multiple levels of hierarchy that are all easily visible in the same place.

On Tumblr, it used to be extremely difficult to find all of the actual commentary on a post. Nowadays, it's far easier, but you still have to scroll chronologically, and multiple versions of a post with a long chain of commentary may be much more divorced from each other than what would happen in a LJ comments section.

--

But could we use Tumblr pretty much how we used LJ?

We could.

I do.

--

The key things that people tend to miss about LJ, aside from the younger and more excited version of themselves or the friends they've lost since then, are:

Heavily text-based

It may sound odd on the modern internet, but there are a lot of people whose brains don't like or handle an image-heavy site well. They were everywhere in SF book fandom. They were everywhere on the early internet. Today, they're hanging out on Dreamwidth and still going to their SF cons. They're usually not on Tumblr.

You could follow the discussion

Threaded comments help, but a lot of it is about having some place you can check for updates. It wasn't actually that easy to follow big LJ discussions unless you were subscribed to comments and reading along as things were happening instead of coming along after the entire mass of comments had been left.

The tone of the discussion is intellectual and one's enemies are "idiots", not "problematic"

All this requires is a penchant for longwindedness and an itchy blocking finger to remove anyone slinging ad hominems from the comments section.

On tumblr, it's as simple as conversations happening in the replies on a popular account and that person not tolerating suibaiting and threats.

(And make no mistake, a lot of LJ discussion was in the comments on popular accounts, not spread equally between everyone's.)

It does require that multiple people like that tone and want to engage in that way, but lots of people do want to.

--

These days, I interact with tumblr by checking my askbox and reading my activity page. The vast, vast majority of my posts are ones where I'm the OP, so if I block someone, they're booted from the discussion entirely.

For me... yeah, Tumblr functions almost exactly like LJ.

Also like LJ, while I'm hosting the conversation, if you hang around, you'll see the same people again and again in the comments. They may or may not also host that kind of conversation in their space, and there's a larger pool of lurkers who have some notion of which people count as regulars. Other people are watching from the shadows, enjoying or deriding the takes of the usual crowd.

People presumably do like reading my lengthy commentary or they wouldn't be here, but my tumblr wouldn't be popular like this without a healthy pool of other people who chime in regularly. It's not just that there are more people: it's that you see the same people over time. There's a bit more sense of place and community than on some parts of the internet.

--

So, in my opinion, the failure to just recreate LJ fandom on Tumblr was a skill issue.

Threaded comments were great, but LJ culture came from mailing lists, and mailing lists had the same issue as tumblr with the diverging threads.

We solved that back then by clipping out only the parts we wanted to respond to (you'd write "snip" around the quotation to show it was incomplete). We solved the smaller LJ issue by linking to other posts we were referencing and doing discussion link roundups. We solve it on tumblr by, again, linking to what we're talking about and even quoting multiple reblog chains in our own reblog of just one chain.

--

Tumblr's technical features and even general crap-ness aren't really the problem. 90s and early 00s sites regularly went down for periods of time unthinkable today.

The missing piece is people.

When one is in an active fandom with others who curate or with friends who let one know what's up, a site with imperfect features is easy to figure out and retrofit for fandom's needs. When one already feels out of touch and is between fannish passions—or at least fannish passions anyone else cares about—seeing the potential in a new site is hard.

--

Threaded comments are different and better.

LJ's built-in way to see everyone's blog in your own style was better. The automatic timestamps and the ease of seeing a paginated archive of an entire blog was better than tumblr's endless scroll and lack of clear date labeling. But some of that can be fixed with xkit or knowing your way around tumblr well.

A lot of it is nostalgia for the lj era and a refusal to take the time to figure out how to use tumblr in an oldschool internet way.

--

So by all means, people, weigh in about what made LJ great or how the culture felt at the time...

But if I see one more god damn response going "You can't have a conversation on tumblr!" in reply to my tumblr, which contains nothing but conversation, I am coming for you.

[detailtilted]

In Search of Supernatural Fans from the Early Years

Hi! I’m looking for the legends who originally recorded old Supernatural convention panels featuring Jared or Jensen, or possibly Misha. See "What I'm Looking For" below. If you know one of them, or if you're a member of a community with people who were in the fandom in those early years, I’d greatly appreciate it if you could let them know about this post. I can be reached at DetailTilted@gmail.com or here on Tumblr.

If you aren’t familiar with my project, see the “Project Background” section below. This is not a low-effort exercise to merely repackage old videos. I’m putting many hours of work into each video to improve their watchability and accessibility. I will always credit my sources unless you wish to remain anonymous.

Even if your videos are on YouTube, I’m likely to have more success upscaling them if I can get the original video files. Thanks to the videos AgtSpooky kindly sent me, I've learned how big of a difference it can make when I have the original files to work with. That's why I’m putting more effort into finding those elusive original video takers.

The problem is that they all seem to have fallen off the face of the earth. Most of their YouTube accounts, LiveJournal accounts, and whatever other accounts I’ve dug up haven’t had any activity in 10-15 years. I’ve left a few messages on some of them, but I doubt they’ll be seen on dormant accounts. I’ve also gone down some crazy and twisted Googling paths trying to find current contact info for them, but without much success. In one case I even messaged the wrong person, who was at least kind enough to reply to the psycho asking for videos to let me know she wasn't the person I'd hoped she was. Oops!

What I’m Looking For

I’ve already finished CHICON 2007, Comic-Con 2008, and CHICON 2008, so I don’t need videos from those events, but I’d be happy to try to upscale your videos for your own collection if you have some you'd like to send me.

Actually, I could use CHICON 2008 Breakfast videos if you have any. I plan to attempt to redo that video either late this year or early next year.

I’ve been trying especially hard to reach people with original video files from either LA 2009 or Asylum 3 (2009), and I’d also be ecstatic to get some from LA 2008.

Any other old con videos you’re willing to share that have Jared or Jensen in them would be awesome. I hope to get to all the old conventions eventually. I haven’t yet defined “old”, so I don’t have a specific cutoff point.

Even if you just have audio files without video, those could be helpful too.

Length doesn't matter. Both long and short videos are welcome. Maybe I won't end up using them all, but the more options I have the better. Even if I don't put your video in my final edit, it would still be used because I always listen to every single video I can find when I'm finalizing my subtitles. Each video sounds at least a little different, and sometimes just hearing the audio in a slightly different way lets me catch a subtitle I'd missed or misheard.

Also, just to be clear, it isn’t necessarily my intent to exclude Misha. I’ve watched and enjoyed many of his convention videos and I liked Castiel for the most part, especially in the earlier seasons. I’m just not obsessed with Misha like I am with Jared and Jensen, and these videos do take quite a lot of work, so I’ve been putting my energy where my greatest interests lie. I’ll absolutely be including him when he’s in panels with Jared and/or Jensen, and in the future I may consider doing some of his solo panels.

So if you have original video files of Misha's solo panels that you’d like to send me, I’d be happy to add them to my stockpile for future possible use. If your videos turn out to be mostly complete, and if they upscale easily, then I might go ahead and do his panel at the same time I do the other panels from the same convention. If they'll take more effort to work with, I’ll probably skip them for now, but I may come back and tackle them if/when I run out of old Jared and Jensen videos to work with.

For any con videos you send me, regardless of whether I use them or not, I’d be happy to try to upscale them and send them back to you for your collection. I can’t always get things to upscale, so I can’t promise success, but I’ll definitely try.

Project Background - Enhanced Edition Con Videos

You can find my videos on my YouTube channel. (If you're already familiar with my project, skip to the next section -- there's nothing new to see here.)

I started this project in December 2023 to enhance old convention videos. My goal is to make them easier on the eyes and more accessible to both new and old fans from around the world. The videos on YouTube from that time can be difficult both to watch and to understand due to a combination of the older technology used to record them, the difficult recording conditions the fans were working with, and the lack of subtitles that make any sense.

I’m enhancing the videos as follows:

Visual Improvements: I’m upscaling the videos if possible, making color corrections if needed, and adding some slight stabilization to reduce the jitteriness. The end result is far from perfect because there’s only so much that current technology can do, but it's noticeably improved if you compare it to the originals.

Subtitles: I’m adding good, color-coded, English subtitles that can be turned on or off through YouTube’s CC button. The color-coding makes it more clear who's saying what when multiple people are speaking, and YouTube can auto-translate them into other languages to improve the accessibility.

Multiple Sources: If one video has gaps in it, then I'll try to find another that I can edit in to fill those gaps so the end result is as complete as possible. If I have more than one source that captured the same portion of the event, then I'll cut to whichever video I think had the best view of the action. In a few cases I’ve added a split screen with two different videos showing simultaneously so we can see action that's taking place in two separate areas. For example, when Jared and Jensen are on opposite sides of the stage. (There were also the infernal talking head bubbles on my Comic-Con 2008 video which nearly made me throw in the towel, but taught me a lot. 😅)

Extra Content for Context: These older videos don’t take up the full width of a modern video frame, so I’ve taken advantage of the extra space to display some still images with text to add extra context for many of the things they discuss. Some things are a lot funnier, or at least a lot more relevant, when you know exactly what they’re talking about. I clarify Supernatural episode references and pop culture references among other things. Sometimes I’ve also inserted short video clips, usually just a few seconds’ worth, if I thought it would add worthwhile clarity or entertainment to the topic at hand.

Current Project Status

If anyone has been wondering how I’m doing on my current video and what’s next… I’m almost done with the last video from CHICON 2008, which was Jensen’s solo panel. I should be ready to publish it on YouTube this Friday, May 24. I plan to use the same schedule as last time and put the Tumblr post up the following Tuesday when it’s a little more likely to be noticed here.

The next sequential conventions are LA 2009 and Asylum 2009, but I haven’t had much success in my attempts to upscale the available videos. If I were to work with what I have now, I know I could turn out something better than what’s on YouTube today, but the end result wouldn’t be nearly as good as what I might be able to achieve if I can get some original videos to work with. So I think it’s more logical to skip over these conventions for now and give it some time to see if I get any responses, in hope of a better end result.

I do intend to come back to the skipped conventions eventually, even if nobody sends me anything. Once I run out of conventions for which I can upscale the videos, if I still don't have anything better to work with for the ones I skipped, I’ll just do the best I can with what’s available. Even if I can't upscale, I can still do color corrections and stabilization, plus the subtitles and extra content. Some of these panels are split up into a bunch of very short videos, so it would also add value if I can combine them into something more sequential and cohesive. (I found 130 videos from the Jared and/or Jensen panels at LA 2009, and most of them were under 2 minutes long. 🤣) I don’t know if there’s enough footage to cover the entire panels seamlessly, but I’m itching to get my hands on that jigsaw puzzle of videos to try to make sense out of them.

So… the next videos I intend to work on will be from Vancouver 2009. This is one of the conventions that AgtSpooky attended and sent me videos for and they upscaled very well. Her breakfast video had already found its way onto YouTube, but wasn't properly credited. Her main panel videos aren't on YouTube as far as I could find, so that version may be new to newer fans. I'm only just starting to play around with upscaling the other sources out there, but my first attempt at the other main Breakfast source came out well. Both breakfast videos were taken from extreme opposite angles, so that should provide some useful editing opportunities. I’d still love to get more videos of this event if anyone has them.

If you made it this far, I am in awe. Sorry for putting this wall of text on your screen! 😅

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Circe Invidiosa

Circe Invidiosa has 11 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files stories at her website. Some of my favs I’ve recced here before, like Make It Worse and Slap a Goatee On Me and Call Me Evil. She also made a bunch of X-Files collage art, including some cover art for fics (hers and others), which you probably saw if you were reading fic back when authors posted fics on their own websites where art could be shared. Big thanks to Circe Invidiosa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Well, it would surprise me if people did read my fic. As it happens, I don't hear much feedback from my fic these days. Probably because the bulk of it is on Gossamer and my own site rather than AO3. Also, I was never a BNA. I worked a lot behind the scenes – hosting other authors' sites and making fanart and dustjackets. I think that's what I'd be remembered for, if anything.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience?

I miss the collective excitement and discussions we had as groups. When you got in with a group in the XF fandom, you felt like you knew everybody there. Now the fandom feels a little faceless except for the people I still follow from my old groups.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Most of my experience was on Yahoo Groups. I joined Scullyfic while it was still there and then E-muse when it became an e-mail list, which I'm still a part of. I was part of several Yahoo Groups (can't remember all of them now), where I'd post my fic, RealPlayer slideshows (remember those?!), and collages. I never really took part in discourse because I'm shy and don't think anyone cares about my opinions (still don't!). The e-mail address I used for those groups was purged a couple of years ago, so I've lost all those messages.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

My take away is that fanfic made me a better writer, thanks to having some great betas, and it made me a better professional writer for it (my real-life work is writing but not fun writing) because I learned to take criticism.

I also used to make a lot of fanart, collages and dustjackets for fic mostly. My big take away from that was that I really got into graphics and I got super proficient at Photoshop, which helped my own artistic endeavours and photography. I didn't realize how much skill I had developed until I've had to help someone with their graphics or photo editing.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

My mother was watching X-Files before I was and she was raving about it. I don't have a great relationship with my mom, but one thing she was usually right about was TV shows. It's where I got my love of Sci-Fi.

I think the first episode I watched was Ice, which definitely hooked me. As for when the shipping started, I remember we were watching Lazarus, and when Mulder was yelling at Lula (I had to look that up) about hurting the hostage Scully, my mom said, "Oh, he's so in love with her." And I was all, "What?! Pfff." But then I could not stop thinking about it. And then I thought about it way, way too much.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I was in my late 20s, and it was around the end of S7 and I kept thinking about what if these two dumb idiots actually talked one day. And I kept thinking about dialogue in my head about what they'd actually say. The internet was still in its infancy back then, but I'd seen fan sites here and there. So I decided to search around to see if other people were talking about it and thinking about it like I was. I was such a noob I'd never even heard of fanfic. Imagine my delight when I discovered it. I found a few stories and thought, 'Well, I can do that.' And I wrote up my first story, found a place to post it (wasn't Ephemeral the best?), got some kind feedback, found a really nice person (not sure she wants to be named since she used her real name in the fandom back in the day) who encouraged me a lot and directed me to all the e-mail lists and Yahoo Groups that I needed to be on, and then, Bob's your uncle, I wrote more and more.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Periphery. Most of my experience in any fandom is now on Tumblr because that's where my attention span is. Show me pretty pictures and funny stuff. I am old now and don't want to think hard.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Veronica Mars was my next fandom experience. A number of my XF friends got me hooked on VM. The VM fandom was a LOT younger compared to the XF fandom. When I joined the XF fandom, I was the kid compared to most of the other fans who were all goddesses and royalty in my eyes. But in the VM fandom, I was in my 30s and the rest of the fandom were all in their early 20s if not younger. It often showed, so I stayed out of discussions and just posted my fic once I started writing it. I took a new handle (invida) when I started writing VM fic. Just in case these kids felt like my writing sucked, I didn't want it getting back to the XF fandom that I’d branched out and failed spectacularly.

By then fandom experiences had moved over to LiveJournal. I never really got involved in the discourse or the fandom fights. I knew what people were saying and where the schisms were, but I was all about the fanfic and the pretty pictures. Most of my LJ friends just discussed the episodes and posted their fic and that was good with me.

What got me writing fic for VM was Anjou's brilliant VM fic Into the Blue. Seriously, if you love VM S1, read her fic. Just so beautiful.

VM was also where started writing a WIP, which was a wild trip. I wrote a much-loved WIP called Damn, Damn the Circumstance which people still ask me about finishing to this day. Someday…*wistful sighs*

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Scully. She was everything! Lapsed Catholic, degrees in science, skeptic, always trying to work within the rules but still not taking crap. Yeah, she was the best.

Veronica Mars was great until she wasn't. I have a lot of issues with her beyond S2. And don't even talk to me about S4. For me, S1 was the best, I enjoyed the movie, the books were okay, but nothing else happened after that. NOTHING.

And the first character I ever loved was Princess Leia. She was also everything to me growing up. I wanted to be her. I still do.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Now and then. Not as much as I used to. I sometimes have it on in the background when I'm doing other things. Back before the pandemic, my BFF and I would have get togethers where we would play Scrabble, eat a lot of candy, and binge several XF episodes. I miss doing that. Hopefully, we will get back to that soon.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I am not an active XF fanfic reader right now. I will read any stories my friends put out. Otherwise, I only occasionally read some I come across on Tumblr in my feed, but I am not seeking them out. I will beta for any XF author who asks me as well.

I am reading fic in other fandoms though – Endeavour, Broadchurch, Sherlock…huh, I'm just realizing that's a lot of British stuff. I have been really into British detective series for the last few years.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I used to run an XF fic recommendation site called How Will It End usually with at least one other person (I went through at least 4 partners on that project because I'm a control freak). We'd compile our recs and then I'd post them on my site. We'd also feature authors we really liked and interview them. Not unlike these interviews!

I'm terrible at giving feedback/comments. So I solved that problem by making a rec site. That way I could tell authors I loved their fics by recommending them. I didn't have to comment, I'd just say, 'I'd like to rec your fic'. And then they'd get promotion. Win-win. Back in those days, the fandom would absolutely roast you for promoting your own fic, so to get on a rec site was a big deal. Not that I had a popular rec site or anything. But I think authors really enjoyed being asked.

All that to say I've liked a lot of fics. I can pull up the archives of HWIE and show you all the faves I liked. :)

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Back in the day, E-muse would hold Improv Challenges, where other members would give you a prompt that you had to include in your fic. I was always really proud of the stories I created from those challenges (No Earthly Means and Elephant in the Room if you want to read them).

I enjoyed writing Dead to Rights which is an XF/Dead Like Me crossover because I loved the challenge of writing a crossover. It was the first crossover I ever tried writing even though I only recently published it.

Otherwise, I like re-reading In a Graveyard, Importuning Life for Life, and Some By Virtue Fall. Of my more recent fic, I like Slap a Goatee on Me and Call Me Evil because the premise was ridiculous and I think it's funny as all get out.

Probably my favourite of my VM fic was Stay Outta Riverdale. Because: 1. The title is a Simpsons reference who doesn't love a Simpsons reference? And 2. I think I was hilarious throughout it.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I'm always open to writing more fic (and, of course, I don't mean my WIPs…don't look at me like that). Lately, my only motivation has been from writing prompts on Tumblr. I haven't had anyone give me a prompt in over a year, so here we are. I have snippets of dialogue in journals and word documents that have never found their way into stories. I'd be happy to dust off any of those and shoehorn them into a new story.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

The last fanfic I wrote was a mini-fic over a year ago (with a prompt from Lilydale!). I've written a bit of original fiction but I haven't been able to finish it. Otherwise, I do have a number of real life hobbies which are where my creative outlets lie now.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Lately, challenges and prompts. It used to be from wanting to see more from a scene. I really had a thing for fill-in-the-blanks or scene continuations. And sometimes my motivation is just plain old spite. :)

What's the story behind your pen name?

Circe Invidiosa is the title of a painting by John William Waterhouse. Love the colours and the absolute malice on the face of the subject. It felt like a good pen name – the envious witch. That's me!

I chose it when I posted my first XF fic (which I cringe to read now, ugh so terrible) without knowing there was already a Circe in the fandom. Whoops. I tried to go by the full Circe Invidiosa or Invidiosa as much as possible after realizing that (invidiosa is my url and my username on a lot of sites, etc.). Now I think that I've been around long enough that it doesn't matter as much but I still like it.

As I said, I took the name Invida for the VM fandom which is just a shortening of Invidiosa.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My significant other knows and that was quite a reveal (oh how awkward). However, the SO has been very supportive and has read all my stories since the reveal and sometimes betas them. The SO also wants us to collaborate on writing some original fiction but we haven't found a project that works for both of us creatively or timewise.

My BFF knows because I dragged her into the online fandom. We've known each other since we were 14, but our love of XF really solidified our bond in our 20s. She wrote some short but sweet fics under the penname Helen Quilley which I bullied her into posting, and we wrote Of Ladies Most Deject and Wretched together. She is mostly embarrassed that she wrote fanfic now but we still fangirl together.

No one else really knows other than fandom folks I've met in real life. And some friends know I've written 'short stories' but I don't elaborate. I work in a stodgy, uptight industry where anything fun or actually having a life is frowned upon.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Over the first lockdown, I got my shit together and got my fic site, invidiosa.com, up and running again. My site houses fic by Rain (now @doctorhelena on Tumblr and AO3), Helen Quilley, ML (who I miss so much), Folieadeux, Shelba, TLynn, Oracle, Piper Sargasso, Diehard, and me. And I made all their dustjackets (except Folie's). The site got hacked a few years back and it was so much work to get running again that I put it off for years and years. I still feel terrible that I did not get the site back up before ML passed away, especially when ML had asked me about it a few months before she passed.

Anyway, all my XF fic is here: circe.invidiosa.com. I have 3 of my newer XF stories on AO3. And my fic-LJ also has some of my stories. Some of the newer stories are on Tumblr but the tagging is so erratic that I'd have to list several tags before you'd find them all. I don't know why I haven't moved everything over to AO3. Probably laziness.

I'm @invidiosa on Tumblr. I'm still on E-muse. I'm still on LJ. I'm always reachable by e-mail (invidiosa at gmail).

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Thanks for reading, writing, and commenting. It is always appreciated.

(Posted by Lilydale on January 5, 2021)

[leng-m]

Anyone want to try Pillowfort?

I’ve been on the hunt for a good social media platform lately, because while I still like Tumblr and don’t plan to quit this any time soon (not to mention, this is the only place I got good traction for my original works), I really miss the community-oriented vibe of old platforms that Tumblr doesn’t really have.

Pillowfort is a new-ish platform, advertised as Tumblr with LiveJournal features. I really love the community aspect of LiveJournal, so I had signed up in the early days of Pillowfort, but didn’t do much with it. I’ve spent the last few days dusting off my account and trying out the different features, and you know, what? I’m quite optimistic.

It does have a very new vibe, but the type that’s got potential. There’s a decent search functionality, there are some pretty talented artists under the “art” tag, and the users as a whole seem very supportive of the creators and developers. I was weirdly excited when I opened someone’s post and there was actual discussion threads below it! Also, communities are a thing! Like LJ communities! I even found a Queen’s Thief community already on there (although it was created a while ago, and doesn’t seem to be very active.)

Pillowfort is still in beta, but I do have 3 sign-up invitation links every week. If you’re interested in checking out Pillowfort, let me know, and I’ll extend an invite link to you!

[onrooftops]

This is a post that I’ve been thinking about writing for a long time. I’m not putting it on my main blog because this one is brand new, has no followers, and no one I know offline knows about my onrooftops days, so it feels safe. I am ashamed that I still feel ashamed about my involvement in fandom, but there it is, an admission straight away. As much as I am going to say that I love and miss fanfiction in this post, know that I have never once loved it enough to tell anyone I know offline that I wrote it. Only two people even know that I read fics, and they’re the people who introduced me to it back when I was a college freshman.

I started reading fanfiction late. Most people who talk about it, talk about how they read and wrote on FFN in middle and high school, how they grew up with it. When I first started writing, most of the people who were writing alongside me were in high school. At 18, I felt ancient. But I loved reading about what could be happening or could have happened in my favorite fictional worlds. I loved reading marauders-era Harry Potter fics and, early on, alternate-universe Twilight fics (confession: my first published fic was Renesmee/Jacob, and it was terrible. I deleted it a long, long time ago). I had always loved writing, and writing in the fictional universes I knew well (Twilight, at first, then Harry Potter, then Teen Wolf) was pure fun. There was so much inspiration available online, and the responses--the reviews and the kudos, the comments and questions--were all incredible motivators. Writing fanfiction was a social experience in a way that writing original fiction has never been for me. Being involved in the fanfiction community made me realize how much I love talking about things that I’m interested in, and how being able to discuss plot points and character quirks and irritating tropes can improve the writing process immensely. I have never felt comfortable discussing my original work with anyone, but I was able to be open (online) about writing fic, and I loved the conversations that I had with people about it.

Fanfiction also made reading a more social activity. I left chatty comments on fics that I loved. I made recommendations to friends and then obsessed with them while they read my favorite parts. (Or we would be assholes together about the worst fics. Is there anything more representative of this generation’s life online than My Immortal?) There are fics that I read back in 2008 or 2012 that I still go back to, even though I never read new fanfiction anymore. I have reread The Shoebox Project once a year since I first read it. I have yet to come across a fictional character that I connect to more than Remus Lupin as he’s written there. I could probably write an essay about my love for that fic alone. But there are also Teen Wolf and Sherlock and Raven Cycle fics that are incredibly homey to me. I just have to open them, and I am immediately comfortable. 

The common interest of fandoms was a great jumping-off point for friendship, and I had a lot of fun getting to know the writers I met through fanfiction. I still talk to a few of the people I met in the early days, and I love that something as silly as posting a 6000-word Harry Potter fic could have given me the chance to meet someone eight years ago ago. But I miss that community--most of the people I talked to back then do not seem to be a part of it anymore, and most of the authors whose work I loved back then no longer write fic, nor do they appear to be active online. Not that I am, particularly, and it’s a little hypocritical that I’m sad over people I didn’t know stepping back, when I’ve done the same.

In early 2015, I decided that fanfiction had become too much of a crutch for me. If I had the option of writing original fiction or fanfiction (and I did), I was going to choose fanfiction every time. Because I am lazy, and the worlds and characters were already there. Mostly, though, because I crave praise, and I knew that every fic I posted would get at least a few positive comments. I was used to receiving notes encouraging me to write more, and I was not used to having to motivate myself to write without immediate feedback. It’s been over three years, and I am still struggling to motivate myself to keep writing my original fiction. In theory, I love what I’m working on, but I miss being able to talk about it with other people. I miss being able to whine about dumb characters with a friend. These days, no one knows the characters I’m writing about other than me.

When I decided to stop writing fic, I changed my FFN URL back to what it was when I originally made my account (squeakyswings), deleted the fics there that had been cross-posted on AO3, changed the password to a bunch of random numbers/letters that I would never remember, and deleted the email address associated with it. I did the same with my LiveJournal, which was inactive and essentially just an archive. I then orphaned the works I had posted on AO3.

I have terrible self-discipline, and I knew that if I had a place to post fanfiction and get the response associated with my definitely not popular but also not unheard-of username, then I would write fic again. Still, I regret that choice, because, as embarrassing as offline-me finds the fact that I wrote fic, real me, the person I would be if I were able to live unapologetically, loved it, and I loved a lot of what I wrote. I would like to have a place where it is collected. I sometimes reread the more recent ones, even now (is that embarrassing to admit?).

Lately, I’ve been feeling nostalgic for my early fanfiction days, and I’ve gone in search of some of the authors I used to love reading back when I was writing. I’ve found their works on AO3 or LiveJournal or even FFN, but most of them have not published anything in years. The dates on the sticky posts on the LiveJournal pages are long past. Remember when those dates seemed impossibly far away? Time fucks me up. I’ve gotten better about accepting it, since it’ll keep going whether I want it to or not, but something about the way the internet preserves the past still makes me sad. What makes me saddest, though, is the loss of connection. The people I spoke to, the ones whose friendships extended from FFN/AO3 to Tumblr or email or texting, I can reach out any time. I can ask how they’re doing, whether they’re still doing something creative, if they ever feel nostalgic over Harry Potter or Sherlock. If they remember our dumb, juvenile inside jokes. But the people whose writing I loved but whom I never spoke to? I have no way of finding out if they’re publishing elsewhere, if they still hang Harry Potter art in their cubicles, if they’re enthusiastic about something new. I’m a nosy person, but I feel the same for any author whose traditionally published book I love. As soon as I finish reading, I want to know what else they’re working on.

It got me wondering whether anyone who used to like my fanfiction ever wonders whether I’m still kicking. After all, I tried to erase evidence of my fanfiction-writing-self. If anyone out there is curious about me, I thought it might be nice to just...dust off that onrooftops name. I don’t expect to publish anything under this name (except maybe fic recs for the fics that I still return to), but if anyone Googles, I guess this blog’ll come up. And if no one does, it felt good to share a little about what fanfiction meant to me and why I disappeared.

[shinelikethunder]

disconnected thoughts on fandom and the indieweb

Recently I discovered the IndieWeb project, and I... think I am a lot more intrigued by it than by other Better Social Media Platform pipe dreams and decentralization projects I’ve seen? Because it’s not a monolithic platform that has to be all things to all people, or even one that has to gain a critical mass of userbase before it’s useful for anything. It’s just a bunch of people, making sites that work for them, and banging out protocols so their sites can talk to each other and hook up to the social-media hangouts du jour.

The basic idea:

- Have a personal website, preferably a personal domain name, that is the hub for your online identity and stuff. Posts, tweets, pictures, links, reading list, events, whatever you’d normally be posting to social media. You host it, you control it, you own it. You tweak it to fit your needs, no Xkit required.

- Once the original archival copy is up on your personal site, cross-post it to whatever social media sites it belongs on. You don’t have to quit your Tumblr habit, or convince your friends to quit theirs, or give up the audience you can reach on a large site.

- Use a pingbacks-on-steroids tool to collect all the responses (likes, reblogs, comments, etc) from the various sites you’ve cross-posted to. Ideally, display them at the bottom of the post back on your website.

As an idea, I like it a lot. In practice, a lot depends on what tools are already available, how useable they are, how capable you are of coding/templating/configuring to fill in the gaps, and how difficult large sites make it to push/pull from them automatically. That’s pretty much what I’m interested in exploring in the near future, for my own use if nothing else. I already have most of my Tumblr content backed up to a Wordpress install on my own shared hosting account, so I’m kinda curious see how much IndieWeb compatibility I can manage using plugins and template tweaks.

Indieweb and fandom:

As a potential tool for fandom to wean ourselves off the various hellsites we’ve inhabited over the years... okay, it’s an interesting thought. One with lots of unanswered questions, but interesting.

Lots of unanswered questions, so the rest of this is going under a cut.

- Upside: I know a lot of older fans are still nostalgic about the early blogosphere and even--heaven forfend--the Geocities days. Many things about them were shit, but the archipelago of personal fan shrines, indie blogs, having a personal site with a personal archive of your work, etc. was awesome. And the “own your own creations” ethos fits in nicely with AO3′s “we have to own the servers” philosophy.

- Enabling factor: Fandom builds and customizes stuff like crazy. Yes, including the younger generations who weren’t around for the “build it yourself” days and seem to think AO3 burst fully formed out of the forehead of a long-lost deity. What, you haven’t noticed that even on a hobbled hellsite like Tumblr, teenagers are using the relative freedom of the theme system to spontaneously rediscover all the sins of Geocities web design? (I rib with affection, as someone who definitely had a page with flaming torch gifs and a sparklecursor back in 2001.) Full, out-of-the-box, point-and-click setup is necessary to get fandom to adopt something in any decent numbers. But once we’re there, a disproportionate number of us start tinkering with anything that’s customizable, and when someone with actual coding skills comes out with a useful tool to supplement missing capabilities, it spreads like wildfire.

- Gaps and directions to expand: Indieweb principles include “scratch your own itches,” so here are my itches, which I’m going to shamelessly project onto fandom at large.

Import--needs rock solid LiveJournal-clone and Tumblr support if your site is to serve as an archive. I don’t know if there even is a working Wordpress plugin to import from LJ or Dreamwidth. The best-supported Tumblr->Wordpress importer is actually better than most standalone Tumblr backup tools, but it still mangles video posts/embeds. It’d also be cool to have import tools for AO3, Deviantart, and other major fanwork repositories.

Once your Tumblr posts are in, there's no way to automate the very first thing I’d want to do upon liberating my data from the vise-like jaws of What Tumblr Wants You To Do With Its Site: separate out posts I created, posts I added comments to, and posts I just shared via reblog. A nice addition would be the ability to copy Tumblr tags to a metadata field that’s separate from Wordpress tags--WP tags tend to be organizational, whereas on Tumblr, tags are often a sidechannel for comments that don’t propagate on reblog, thus filled with all sorts of crap.

On that note, Itch #3 is mass-organization tools. Select all posts that fit certain criteria and do a mass edit on their tags, categories, post types, or other taxonomy data. Lots of fandom folks have years or decades worth of content from various sites, making organizational tasks highly impractical to do manually. I’ve dicked around with a few Wordpress mass-edit plugins, but none of them seemed to work that well.

Not sure how well the existing backfeed tools support Tumblr notes, but for fandom to bite, the Tumblr support oughta be pretty damn slick. And the cross-posting should ideally support all the features of a native Tumblr post, because by god, we will use them, and we will notice if an expected one is missing. I can spot IFTTT cross-posts from AO3 without even reading text, and tbh my eyes usually skip right over them, unfair as that may be.

If this project extends to feed readers/aggregators, the embrace of multi-site cross-posting implies a need for deduplication. Preferably getting rid of Tumblr’s charming “barf the full post back out onto your dashboard every time someone you’re following shares/responds to it” behavior in the process. For fandom use, it’ll need a blacklist feature. And I’d love some more heavy-duty filtering, selective subscriptions (like to just one tag of a blog), creating multiple feeds based on topic or on how much firehose you want...

This may be a personal itch, but at least for personal archiving needs, I’m sick, sick, sick of the recency bias that’s eaten the internet since the first stirrings of Web 2.0. Wikis are practically the only sites that have escaped chronological organization. It would be cool to have easily-manipulated collections with non-kludgey support for series ordering, order-by-popularity, order-by-popularity with a manual bump for posts you want to highlight, hell even alphabetical ordering. None of these things are remotely unsolved problems, but they’re poorly supported on the social-media silos most people’s content lives on these days. Fandom’s suffered from this since at least the days of LiveJournal, which had the ominous beginnings of what’s since become the Tumblr Memory Hole. Relentless chronological ordering + the signal-to-noise ratio of any space with regular social interaction = greatest hits falling down the memory hole unless a community practices extensive manual cataloguing. Hell, LJ fandom did practice extensive manual cataloguing, but even within that silo, there was so much decentralization that content discovery was shit if you didn’t know the right accounts to search through. Like, fuck, at least forums bump threads to the top if they’re still active--LJ and blogs have the same "best conversation evar falls inexorably off the map as new posts are added, no matter how active it is” problem that InsideTheWeb forums did in 1999. (Anyone else remember InsideTheWeb? AKA 13-year-old me’s first experience with platform shutdown, frantic archiving attempts, and massive data loss. Fun times.) Tumblr and Twitter, meanwhile, spam you with duplicates of the original post every time someone you’re following replies to/shares it, a key component of the endless firehose of noise drowning out any attempt to hang on to the signal.

All those itches are things I could probably code myself if I got a stubborn enough bee in my bonnet, which might well happen. On the other hand, I have some deeper doubts, ones that aren’t going to get addressed by Wordpress plugins or shiny backfeed support:

The whole concept of IndieWeb fails to address (and might even worsen) what I suspect is the core dysfunction of social media. Which is the degradation of community spaces, and their replacement with a hopeless snarl where all content lives in individual accounts. There are a lot of weird effects that arise when the “social” sphere is built entirely upon the one-on-one connections created when someone subscribes to another account or gives someone else permission to view their restricted posts. Echo chambers, shame mobs, out-of-context remarks going viral, popular accounts setting off harassment storms whenever they disagree with someone, the difficulty of debunking hoaxes once they’re out in the wild... all of those are either created or made much, much worse by the lack of any reasonable, stable, shared expectation of who a post’s audience is.

Basically, if “own your content and host it on your site” also applies to your comments, interactions, etc, it starts running counter to one of the strengths of the Old Web. Which was community contexts where you explicitly weren’t posting to your own space or addressing everyone who might be looking at the main clearinghouse of all your different stuff. You were posting to the commons shared by a particular group with a particular culture and interests, not all of whom were people you’d necessarily want to follow outside that limited context, some of whom you might disagree with or dislike, but in any case you knew what audience you were broadcasting to. You knew what the conversation was, how similar conversations had gone in the past, and the reputations of all the main participants--not just the ones you yourself would subscribe to and the ones attention-grabbing enough to get shared by the people on your subscription list. And you weren’t spamming all your other acquaintances with chatter on a topic they weren’t interested in.

Shared spaces can also establish whatever social norms they need and moderate accordingly. (Plus, plurality of spaces = plurality of norms for different needs, which would solve a LOT of what’s currently ailing fandom.) Peaceable enforcement of a code of conduct, beyond the “minimum viable standard” sitewide abuse policy, is fundamentally impossible on social media, where individual muting is the closest thing you can get to moderation. That + unstable audience = any social norms that exist are so unenforceable it turns people into frothing shame-mob zealots, ratcheting up the coercive pressure on everyone the more it fails to work on the handful of unrepentant assholes who would’ve been permabanned from any self-respecting forum within a week. Moving onto personal sites with beefed up syndication/backfeed capabilities ain’t gonna fix that. Meanwhile the truly heinous dickweeds who’d ordinarily run afoul of the sitewide abuse policy will have the same capabilities, minus any risk of getting banned.

If there haven’t already been epic drama meltdowns caused by the “reply in your own space by making your own post, which includes a copy of the original post for context” model... it’s only a matter of time. You don’t even need malicious actors, just a human conflict where one party has overprotective subscribers. Or information turns out to be faulty and in need of correction. Or an argumentative type stumbles on the permalink of an acrimonious reply post that was actually resolved amicably several replies downthread. Or someone edits an apology into their controversial post and someone who’s been attacking it refuses to update their copy because tilting at strawmen is more fun. Or someone tries to make an embarrassing post go away by deletion and their co-conversationists don’t cooperate. Tumblr’s “reply by reposting in your own space and adding commentary” system already spawns endless floods of drama and misunderstanding, and that’s a system with some limits on the participants’ control, and relatively disposable accounts/identities if the shit hits the fan.

Basically, I’m all for personal websites as archives of your creations, but seriously dubious of them as archives of your interactions. Especially if the interactions aren’t well-segregated from the regular content feed that goes out to everyone who follows you. Yes, abuses of moderator power when interaction is all taking place on a site the mod controls are a thing. But if those sites are an archipelago of indie spaces rather than a monolithic platform, shitty mods don’t thwart the development of a healthy social ecosystem, they just drive everyone away to a competing space whose mod sucks less.

(Private/access-restricted archives of your interactions might be a compromise? You still have your stuff in case the other site goes down, but it’s not out there replicating the ill effects of the Tumblr reblog-to-respond model.)

Leaving aside all that, the IndieAuth component--using personal sites as stable identities you can log in with--is just as workable for community platforms as it is for cross-blog commenting. Proliferation of unlinkable accounts was one of the downfalls of forums, after all. That said, one potential point of friction is that fandom is far more pseudonym-centric than the devs and tech hobbyists who’ve coalesced around IndieWeb so far. But stable pseuds with years of reputation behind them have social effects that resemble real names more than anything else, so as potential culture clashes go, I’d hope that’s fairly surmountable.

As noted in the musings on LiveJournal archiving above: CONTENT DISCOVERY IS A BITCH IN DECENTRALIZED COMMUNITIES and that’s a major stumbling block for fandom. OTOH, platform-agnostic protocols with customization potential = room for experimentation with independently-run discovery/search/tagging layers. (Life goals: stay uncool enough that my “Like Uber, but for ___” elevator pitch ends up being “It’s like Technorati, but for fanfiction of Kirk drilling Spock.”)

Okay, that’s it, jesus christ it’s time for me to go to bed.

[chucksandjeans]

A DECADE IN REVIEW & GOALS FOR BEYOND

PRECURSOR

This is a difficult post to write because there’s a lot to reflect on. Where do I start? Over the years, I’ve gone back and forth whether it makes sense to write these things down. It all started years ago when LiveJournal was popular. I wrote down daily routines and activities that I did during the week. It was remarkably diary-oriented with little thought put into what I wanted out of it. This Tumblr account started 11 years ago in 2008 when I arrived in Singapore to start my semester abroad. I started to document my exchange adventures, foods I ate, sights I saw. It was a means to write down my life so I would not forget it. In more recent times, I continued writing down travel blogs but moved towards using writing as a way to plan for the future. It’s interesting looking back and seeing that my younger self scribbled notes about daily events, then grew into my 20s writing things down to not forget them, and now using writing to plan for the future. I wonder what the next decade in review will look like.

2010-2019 AT A GLANCE

Overall, I give myself A- for this decade.

RELATIONSHIP - A

I spent the first few years of the decade lost. I came out of a long-term relationship and hurt people along the way, myself included. It was a difficult time in my life and I was jaded for a long time. Between the ages of 22 and around 25, I was a quintessential tool that did a lot of things that I thought someone in their early 20s should be doing. Going out, dating random people, not being honest with anyone to protect myself. It took a lot of courage to get out of that state and looking backwards, it was a state that I had to go through. Things changed when I met my wife who pulled me out of that slump and showed me that love could be all powerful. I am so grateful for my past relationships because they all brought me to where I am today. My marriage has evolved from a simple swipe to dating to moving in to signing the papers and soon having our first child. It’s crazy to think back to 2010, what I was doing and thinking back then, and fast forward to today. It’s magical to see what life has to offer and I am only beginning to appreciate all the small things. I started weak but finished the decade strong.

FAMILY - B+

My family is small in Toronto and North America. I love them deeply and when I look back, I don’t think I truly showed them that when I was younger. My parents brought me here, giving up their careers and community, so I could have a better life. I gave them a ton of grief as a teenager and could have done a better job in my 20s to take care of them. As I grew older, I understand why my dad use to say “you’ll know when you’re older”. I use to roll my eyes but now I understand. I hope I can pass this knowledge onto my child(ren) so that they can mature their thinking. Likely, they won’t understand until they are adults too but that’s just how the cookie crumbles. My extended family in Hong Kong - I neglected them for the most part. I spent my 20s traveling around the world and only went back in 2018, 10 years after my last visit. I can’t express how happy I was to see them and at the same time, seeing how the years have taken its toll on them. I hope I still have time to see them and create memories before the winters go by. 

FRIENDS - B+

The definition of friend has changed dramatically. I use to think friends were the ones who I partied with, drank with and ate with. I tried to have as many friends as possible and know as many people as possible. What a silly way to think? People came and gone and I struggled with that, in particular when the fake friends faded away. Real friends faded away too. I can’t say that it came as a surprise but it definitely came. I use to think friends lasted forever - the way we hung out, how often we hung out, how many movies we saw - but now I see, just like everyone said, parties will eventually end. I had to redefine what the word friendship meant to me. Sometimes I look at photographs and see faces of people that I never see or talk to. Friendships evolve and I am glad that there are a handful that I cherish deeply. New friends, old friends, it’s time to think about who are the real friends.

CAREER - A

The beginning of the decade marked the beginning of my career. I started at E&Y in September 2009 so January 2010 was still early days. I just finished the CKE and going into my first busy season before the SOA and UFE exams later in 2010. It was a long time ago but it feels like yesterday. I wonder if 2010 VLiu knew that everything would be okay, that 10 years later, he would be still clueless and figuring things out. So much has happened since then, from being promoted to moving functions to companies. I got lost in a big company and searched for meaning in my work. I learned how to work tools and technology, networked and built relationships. I screwed up, joined the wrong company and returned to a career that I knew was not my passion. I met great people, managed a growing team and launched a business. I did case studies. I learned that my skills defined me but I could learn new skills. I pushed harder than I ever thought possible, mentally and emotionally. This last decade was a blur. What a blur.

TRAVEL - A+

I did well here. After the exchange semester and Europe backpacking trip in 2009, 2010 onwards marked the most active travel itineraries that I could dream of. Years ago I already started jotting down my goals on where to globetrot and as this decade comes to a close, I am proud to have been to 6 of the 7 continents, hiked some of the world’s greatest trails, lived in tiny huts and tents to lush hotels. It was a decade to remember and a passport to cherish. I grew a lot as a person having seen so many things and as I think back, I am very lucky to have had the opportunities, money, time and freedom (and companions) to see these places. Travel is good for the soul, and this part of my soul is happy. I marked Norway as my 50th country with my wife and no longer am I chasing stamps. I am now chasing memories.

HEALTH - B

I am proud of myself for creating a healthy lifestyle for myself early on even before 2010. I have a certain friend to thank for this, but early on in first year university, he inspired me to take up weight training. Since then, I have been dedicated to this activity and it carried through to 2019. I can’t say that I work out as much anymore. From 2010-2015, I probably worked out 5 times a week for at least 60 minutes per session and ate a ton of protein shakes. In more recent years, this has dialed back for reasons I am ashamed to say as laziness. I still go 1-2 times per week but that’s still way less than before. However, I am choosing to eat healthier with less meat which counts for something!

FINANCE - B+

I have been notorious with saving and believing that paying myself first is always the best path forward. I don’t know what the future holds so having a steady contribution to investments was the approach that I have been taking. Hopefully it works. I trust finance theory.

PERSONAL - B+

I am proud of what I’ve accomplished between 2010-2019. I’ve grown as a person personally and professionally. I have matured in how I think about friends and family, and what it means to be happy. I made mistakes along the way and I learned from them. Now, I am in a good place with all aspects of my life. Overall, it was a good 10 years.

FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF THE DECADE

Everything Celine-related: meeting her, getting to know her, building a relationship, planning a wedding, having the wedding, and all the ups and downs in-between. I think back and cannot picture my life without her.

Road trip: the drive from Toronto to LA was monumental and solidified some lifelong friendships that cannot be replicated. The memories are so precious and I am so glad that trip happened.

Buying a house and decorating: the rush of signing papers, moving in and the fun of hanging paintings and measuring furniture. Ah, first homes!

Walking the Highline NYC with Celine: it was just so magical. The sunset, the city, the photo that captured it all.

Weddings: this decade was filled with many joyous celebrations of my friends getting married. It was so beautiful to see them tie the knot and celebrate with old friends. I know I complained about too many weddings, but now that I think about it, I will miss the weddings.

Revisiting Singapore: SG has a special place in my heart. Seeing PGP again too. It feels like a different me but the same me. I miss that part of my life a lot.

Darth and See Lai month: 2015 was a rough year as I chose a terrible boss and made a made career mistake. Luckily for me, I had a network to help me and I got through it. Darth reminds me that most importantly in any career, happiness comes first. Money is a byproduct. The one month spent at home was filled with mom-son time. I loved every second of it, even though I was recovering from a traumatizing experience.

Jamie: Jamie Anderson, the classiest man I know. His deep voice, decisive attitude, and gentleman’s classiness, I will never forget.

Corporate Development: this was a huge career accelerator for me. The people that I met and the deals that I worked on set me up nicely for the rest of my career. Project Laker will always be my pride and joy.

Ventures, Anthony and Derek: Joining RBC Ventures was a life-changing experience. I finally learned that I could learn new skills, and be friends with the people I worked with. I met two of my greatest mentors. It was the time of my life.

Norway: nuff said. Norway 2 aka. Iceland was also great.

Travel stuff: all the places I went this decade were so great.

Duncan and NWTS nights: some of these nights I dragged myself out. Now that I think back, these are the nights I can’t and still remember.

Living in condos: Pinnacle has a special place in my heart. Moving from 12 to 16 Yonge and to 33 Bay several floors. I had fun living in my own filth hehe and eating take-out everyday, walking to the Goodlife at 8pm to workout. Everything has a time and place.

Being a douche in the PATH: slicked hair, fitted suit. Every dude has to try it once!

Mom karaoke parties: always a fun time!

Music festivals: Veld, Swedish House Mafia, Digital Dreams. #awesomesauce

Hanging out at NWS townhouse and walking to BBT with Stella: the summers that I lived downtown had some fun activities after work. The summers were always filled with nighttime fun like bars and drinking and walking Bentley.

Passing UFE: it was pretty cool studying for the exams and passing them!

Cube: club nights.

2019 AT A GLANCE

I am very happy with 2019. My wife and I came out of 2018 with gusto with new energy and dreams. This year had a fair share of ups and downs which taught me resilience and the power of positive thinking. When Steve left the company, I was devastate and had to learn how to deal with it while managing a big team. Celine and I hiked Patagonia and we found out we were expecting a baby. Later in the year, I found a new career direction while preparing for the new baby’s arrival. It was an experiential year with so much to be thankful for.

RELATIONSHIP - A

This was the first full calendar year of marriage. Celine and I are growing day by day and moving on to the next chapter with the arrival of our baby in a few weeks. 2019 was a much “easier” year than 2018 now that the wedding and the house costs are behind us, so we spent a large part of the year enjoying each other’s companies. We spent our honeymoon hiking in Chile, visiting family in Vancouver, and explored Italy, Slovakia and Hungary. We ate at amazing restaurants and created unforgettable memories. A few weeks ago, we ate at Patria, the restaurant where we had our first date, to close a chapter in our lives as a couple and welcomed the next chapter as a family of three. We are ready.

FAMILY - A

I really enjoyed this year because we had the chance to visit family with my parents in Vancouver. It was a very fun trip and one that was long overdue. Without the pressure of the wedding, 2019 was more of a breeze.

FRIENDS - A

We had a fair share of dinners and hangouts this year. Celine also hosted a few DTL sessions at home which was great. I also strengthened friendships with some old friends and new friends, which I am particularly proud of. 

CAREER - A+

There were a ton of ups and downs this year. From Steve leaving the organization to an unnamed person on the team who was a pain to manage, this was year marked with learning how to deal with things. My career was predominantly smooth sailing except for the grief that I cause myself mentally but this year was truly a test on my character and perseverance. I was lucky to have great mentors and friends who coached me through the hard times and I came out the other side a stronger person. Later in the year, I found happiness in a new career direction. I saw this as a culmination of my many sleepless days and nights thinking about what’s next, and an outlet for my trapped ambition. I am at peace with all the bumps that I encountered to get here because now I am here, and I love it.  Earlier in the year, I set out to find a role where I can develop new skills, stimulate my brain, gives me a strong network  and provides a leverage a brand. I can truly say that 2019 was a defining year for my career.

TRAVEL - A

Celine and I flew a fair bit this year from Chile to Vancouver to Europe. Chile was a beauty and brought me back to our road trip days in Norway and Iceland. Hiking in Patagonia, trekking the Atacama and sleeping in a rusty shack near the Magellan Strait are going to be memories of a lifetime. Vancouver, another great trip with family. Europe was a different feel and it was Celine’s first time in the Eastern side of the continent. The cuisine and history was super awesome and I’d go back in a heartbeat. From a work travel perspective, I had the chance to go to New Orleans for a few days and then San Francisco for 11 days for orientation. It was my spending so much time in San Francisco and I am thankful that I had the opportunity to experience it. Now I know that I shouldn’t pick a hotel in Tenderloin to stay in. I did not do well in setting a new travel goal however. After I hit 50 countries, it’s been challenging to think of a tangible target to run towards. I need to do that this year.

HEALTH - B-

This was an average year for health both physically and mentally. Physically, I’ve been going to the gym less and less, maybe 1-2 times per week. I did complete the RBC Race for the Kids 5km though in a pretty decent time, but next year, woooobooooyyy not sure. I spent many nights stressed and sleepless because of the ups and downs at the office so that was not great. However, Celine and I started doing affirmations first thing in the morning and before bed. It’s a chance for us to think about what we are thankful for. It’s become routine for us now, and it’s helped a lot.

FINANCE - B

We did well this year. Aside from being a big under the water after the basement and backyard renovations, which we had to do, we kept our spending in check and continued to save throughout the year. Celine and I are both aligned on how we view finances which is good, and a testament to how a rough 2018 year prepared us for 2019 and beyond (especially with a new baby coming soon).

PERSONAL - C+

I spent the last few years thinking about my career and very little on how to improve myself outside of that realm. I don’t know how much that has impacted me, but I can say at a minimum that it’s kept me up many a nights thinking about my career. Now that my career has been realigned, I should spend more time thinking about my goals from a personal perspective. In 2018, I did accomplish my goal of reading 3 books and writing in my journal 2x per month. These now seem like easy, attainable goals though so nothing to celebrate.

FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF 2019

Celine telling me that she’s pregnant: unspeakable happiness.

Hearing my baby’s heartbeat for the first time with my ear: this was so mind-boggling to me. For the longest time, the baby did not hit me as reality as much as Celine...since she was carrying Leia and all. But hearing her heartbeat changed it all.

Seeing my Uncle 1 and Auntie 1: I haven’t seen them for years...or a decade. I can’t remember now but it was warming to see them again in the same house years later.

At Stephen’s Basilica rooftop: the sunset was beautiful atop the church looking over Budapest. It was not quite Aksla, but it was indeed captivating.

Cuernos and Patagonia: the views, experience, air and water. The hike, although rainy, was perfect.

Borago: World’s 50 Best does not disappoint. My favourite was still the rainwater from Patagonia.

Windy shack in Punta Arenas: the town was lame but the tiny hut that called itself an Airbnb was memorable. The Magellan Strait is very windy and shook the house until Celine and I worried that the roof would fall onto us. Hah.

The day we almost died: Patagonia at its finest.

Steve leaving: this was a rough day for me and the beginning of a rough week. My world fell apart piece by piece and I did not feel career disappointment like this before.

Me leaving: the decision to leave Butter/Ventures was difficult and I weighed the pros and cons. I chose to leave under my criteria which was easy, but actually leaving was very hard. Luckily for me the relationships that mattered are still strong.

Various case studies: LOL.

Interview at Square: I got the first email when I got back from Europe in early September. From then until the final interview on Wednesday, October 23 was a rush. I received the offer verbally on Friday, October 25. I accepted the Saturday. It all moved so quickly.

Seeing NWS super happy about escape rooms: I rarely see NWS that excited and it was fun to see on Ryan’s birthday. Board games and escape rooms - it was more like NWS’ birthday.

GOALS FOR 2020 AND BEYOND

RELATIONSHIP

I will support my wife in her personal and career endeavors. I will encourage her to be creative, ambitious and honest with herself so that she can achieve her maximum potential.

I will be an attentive and caring husband, and try to be positive in the most difficult situations. I will listen first and offer an opinion after if suitable in the situation.

I will be cognizant that my wife is stressed from taking care of the baby and try to relieve her stress as much as possible.

I will recognize milestones and also everyday events because life is short.

Stretch: I will create and capture more memories outside of Instagram, through writing, photos or videos.

By 2029: I will be a model husband that knows how to cook, clean and take care of my wife and family. I will continue celebrating the big and small moments with my wife, remembering anniversaries and birthdays, and continue being the young-love that we have today.

FAMILY

I will be a great father, whatever that means! I don’t know yet but I promise to be a great one.

I will be more present in gatherings and create a balance where possible to bridge the various groups.

I will maintain a strong relationship with family overseas.

Stretch: talk to at least 1 overseas family member once a month

By 2029: I will be the father to 2 beautiful children. I will be supportive and understand them as much as possible, and try not to be a lame dad. I will have great relationships with my family and my in-laws, and maintain a strong connection those overseas. I will be back in HK at least 2 times in this decade.

FRIENDS

I will build on strong social bonds by reaching out, staying in touch, physically going to see friends, and recognizing special moments.

I understand that this aspect of my life may change with a new baby coming but I hope to maintain a relationship with at least my closest friends. I will not be non-existent to friends.

Stretch: hang out with 1 friend per a month

By 2029: I will be a great friend to a small group of people. I will celebrate their big and small moments, and try my best to keep the group close.

CAREER

I will think about my career more critically and plan out my path. Now that I have started a new path at Square, it is important to think about what I am learning here and map that out against where I want to eventually get to. This allows me to think about my career in a more structured way.

I will consistently evaluate my skillset and upgrade/up-skill where I see a gap, through reading books or taking a course.

Stretch: meet at least 2 new people every month who can help me in my career or gives me new ideas and add an international aspect to my experiences; discuss international opportunities with Square

By 2029: I will be managing a small, high-performing team in a career of my choosing. This career will pay well, have great people and culture, and grant me the flexibility to work the way I want to to suit my lifestyle. I will have international work experience.

TRAVEL

Find a new goal that revolves around travel and cultural exploration. I want to love travel immensely again.

Go to at least one place with the new baby on a plane.

Stretch: Take Celine and the baby to San Francisco for a few weeks.

By 2029: I will have been to 60 countries and went on 2 more big hikes (which could mean something like Patagonia). I will have been back to Africa somewhere, Asia and Australia. Europe is fine too but it will have to be Scandinavia or Eastern Europe. Our baby will be well-traveled.

HEALTH

I will choose to eat healthy food more often. In particular, this means more fish, chicken, vegetables and legumes, and less red meat, fried foods and dairy products.

I will eat more fruits and drink more water (at least 2L daily).

I will workout at least twice a week.

Stretch: drink 3L of water daily, workout thrice a week and run one organized 5km-run.

By 2029: my kids would be old enough by this time so that I can go back to a regular gym schedule. Between 2020-2029, I want to maintain a healthy body and mind, great sleep, and no need for drugs. I will have healthy cholesterol and X levels to be able to eat what I want and exercise the way I want. I will look good.

FINANCE

I will continue shifting the finances on a monthly basis to ensure that Celine and I are tracking towards our retirement goals.

I will spend less money on products and more on experiences.

I will cut back on impromptu purchases.

I will continue saving money for myself, Celine and the baby.

Stretch: plan for investment property

By 2029: we will have 2 investment properties and a sizable investment portfolio suitable for our stage in life. We will be have financial freedom defined as having enough money to do what we want largely without financial limitations.

PERSONAL

I will find out what it means to be a husband and father.

I will dedicate time to self-improvement through reading, listening to podcasts, thinking about the future and philosophical topics, and documentaries where I can learn something.

I will focus on what I can control and push out things that I cannot control. I worry too much so this will help me reduce mental stress.

I will be a better listener and only dish out tough love sparingly.

I will continue documenting my career ambitions and philosophies in my journal at least 2x a month.

I will clean the house once a month. This means wiping the windows, vacuuming and mopping the floors, bleaching the sink, etc.

I will not leave my shoes and jackets everywhere, and will not leave the lights on if I don’t have to.

Stretch: I will read 5 books this year.

By 2029: I will be happy.

[donnerpartyofone]

I started this blog in July of 2010. I had some reservations about being too old or uncool or something for Tumblr--things that were not untrue, but that I had to accept didn't matter. I had not made almost any use of Facebook or Myspace or even Friendster, so I had no point of reference for how or why to use anything like this; I wasn't even really aware of LiveJournal. I'm not sure now what I wanted at the time, Tumblr just seemed generically "cool" and "fun" to me. I remember not having even the most basic idea of how it worked; I would flounderingly post images I had downloaded a while ago and fumble at some reference for where I got them originally, instead of figuring out how to search someone's archive and reblog them. I was actually pretty well mentally prepared for the platform though, even if it took me a little while to realize it; for many years I had been making these intense clutter drawings out of swipes from pulp comics, old board games, product mascots, movie posters, etc. This kind of non-verbal, hieroglyphic-like composite of a one's personal and cultural DNA is really the main achievement of most Tumblrs I think. I remember repeating this idea to someone once I got a handle on it, and having that person snear at me for being a hipster; similarly, after my blog started to pick up some modest steam, my then-boyfriend would ask me snottily what the point was, and when I just explained different ways in which I enjoyed Tumblr as a creative outlet, he seemed to get angrier and angrier. I eventually realized he wanted me to reveal a magical way in which the platform could make you rich and famous, and it was infuriating to him that that wasn't my focus. Ironically, at that time I was pissing off a lot of people who were very concerned about being Tumblr famous--or simply receiving due credit for their hard work. In the service of making my clutter drawings, or a digital equivalent in the form of my dumb little blog, I had been doing relentless google searches for vhs boxes and stuff, which I'd chop into fetishistic details and post. I didn't even notice that a lot of these came from bloggers making their own scans; once in a while one would come out of the woodwork to ask me what the fuck I was doing, and I'd credit them on an ad hoc basis, being so out of touch that I had no idea that this was a major ongoing issue on Tumblr at large. I never went right to someone's blog to download their images and deliberately pass them off as my own, and I still don't understand what that means to people who do that. Eventually I stopped posting that kind of thing anyway, having moved on to just using the blog to compulsively "express myself". The surprising number of anonymous questions and trolling that I received (and by which I am still flattered) really got me there, increasing my feeling that the best use of my blog was just dashing off personal bullshit that I found hilarious or repulsive or both. It's funny, usually I find it very upsetting to reflect on past me from any angle, but not on Tumblr. I cringe a little bit when I see old selfies, where I'm clearly trying hard to look cute, but not too much. Nobody cares, and at times I even looked sorta good.The best thing about Tumblr is that I've only ever done it for myself, which I think helped me develop more of a sense of self, however pathetic that sounds. I felt alone in an incredibly exciting way, like I was hosting my own Late Show, and I had had a good night whenever I succeeded at really cracking myself the fuck up. Amazingly, even though I suffered a lot in the early years from someone's abuse and my subsequent fear that my only options in life were abuse or isolation, there's actually not that much evidence of that in my archives. I was always here to have a good time on my own terms. Actually, by the time I met the man I'm going to marry, I had carved out such a monolithic identity for myself in my imagination, somewhere between Johnny Carson and Beetlejuice, that it was very awkward to decide to introduce the fact that, yes, I have a real life, I'm in a relationship, I have established a normalizing social institution in my home. But, of course, pretending to be ONLY a freaky loner with a dumb blog was not as important as acknowledging one of the top human beings in my entire life. At the same time, the climate on Tumblr seems to have changed a lot, from being this comically alienated alley of cyberspace, to being sort of a score board for everybody's moral standards and social conscience, and an operating theater in which you may be vivisected in a hunt for your slightest, most subconscious philosophical discrepancies. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing all of the time; at the moment, Tumblr is becoming an important grassroots channel for information transfer, and honestly, I'm a better person for a lot of it. I can think back to just a few months ago at a time, regularly, and notice bigoted thoughts and behaviors that I've managed to correct because I'm exposed to more different kinds of people and different news sources, all at once on my dash. It's not the beginning and end of everything, but it can be a great way for myopic narcissists like me to start getting better. However, I have to admit to missing how purely chaotic this place used to be, as I remember it anyway. At least I can still dig back into my archive for something stupid that happened five years ago, and in the process of rummaging around, think to myself with satisfaction, "Damn, my blog used to be fucking FUNNY."

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sophia Jirafe

Seven of Sophia Jirafe’s fics are at Gossamer, but more of her X-Files stories are at AO3 (as sophiahelix). I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Stones and Bones. She was active in the fandom during the show’s run and has never strayed far from fandom in general. She co-founded Glass Onion, a great multi-fandom mailing list that now has nearly 1,000 fics from 100 fandoms at AO3. Big thanks to Sophia Jirafe for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It did initially, but so many old shows are on streaming now and getting discovered by new people, it makes sense.

I did get a comment from someone who said my first story under this name, posted in early 2000 when I was a college freshman, was older than her by a couple of months, and THAT took me aback.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was my first fandom, discovered when I was 17 and searching for info about the show on the school library computer, and it really shaped my whole life! I met a lot of people I still know today (mostly in non-fannish venues like FB, though I do still have some connections in fandom), and learned a lot about writing and just life generally, since I was younger than most of fandom at the time.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I started off on a tiny forum at a website called Squirrel’s Nest, but I kept seeing people thanking Scullyfic in fic headers and eventually I was able to join the mailing list (which was capped to 500 members). Scullyfic was everything to me — I made friends, betas, discussed the show, learned about all kinds of things on Off-Topic Fridays, etc. A lot of those friends, I would email with or more often chat on AIM (individual or these sprawling group chats that would go on all day), and then at the end of 2001 we started migrating to Livejournal. I was getting into Buffy more by then, but it was still mostly the same crowd of people I knew from Scullyfic.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

I feel like it started me on a whole life path really — finding that my deep obsession with fiction could be channeled like that and shared with other people, as well as deepening my writing. Online fandom has been a major part of my social life for over 20 years now, and I love the mix of getting excited about things with friends and also the creative outlet.

My corner of X-Files fandom in particular was just very calm and enjoyable for the most part, full of older professional women who were happy to be friends and give me advice about all kinds of things, and it really set the bar for me with my online interactions. Now I’m almost 40 and trying to be that person for my younger friends, as well as having no patience for toxicity and in-fighting in my fandom spaces.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

A combination of the creepy conspiracy angle and just adoring Scully. I remember how mysterious and fascinating the show seemed when I discovered it right before S5, and there was no way to find out more except to keep watching and hoping they explained. Scully was so smart and tough and beautiful and interesting, and as a teen I was just captivated by her (and the UST, though I didn’t care about Mulder as much).

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I ran across it a couple times early on but felt embarrassed by the concept, but then I read the first in Karen Rasch’s Words series and suddenly it clicked for me. After a while I started daydreaming my own conversations between them, very similar to what happens to me now when I’m getting into a new pairing, so after reading tons of recommended fic by big authors, I started writing my own (the 3-4 stories I posted in high school are all wiped from the internet now, though).

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Good memories, though because it was my senior year of high school and college, I know a lot of it is just tied to that time in my life, and also being in my very first fandom. I will rewatch episodes from time to time, but I basically never revisit former fandoms because they’re kind of like exes, even if I finished on a good note. I also think my taste in fic has changed (and there isn’t the same novelty of “characters I like getting together omg!”)

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

So many! None of them had quite the same combination of excellent central architecture (especially pre-AO3) and a really high level of discussion and friendliness without being enormous, but I’ve loved them all in their own ways. I’ve done fandom on LJ/DW, Tumblr, Discord, and now on Twitter, and I think I miss the mailing list days the most. You didn’t have to repeat yourself so much in multiple conversations, you weren’t character limited, and the discussion was all in one place, with personal stuff more confined to your side conversations. Discord is a little like that, but it moves too fast and there’s too much noise for my taste.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Heh, after X-Files I went through a whole phase of faves in the Scully vein — Buffy, Aeryn Sun, Kara Thrace, etc. Like many people I’ve shifted primarily into m/m in the last decade (Sherlock, YOI, and recently The Untamed have been my major fictional fandoms, along with a lot of sports RPF), but for non-fannish shows I’m always looking for awesome new female characters, like Elizabeth on the Americans, Peggy on Mad Men, Nadja on What We Do in the Shadows, etc. And I do LOVE Killing Eve and have written a little f/f over there.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I’ll rewatch favorite episodes occasionally, and I keep thinking about a full rewatch but it takes so much time! I never saw the second movie, and I didn’t finish the first of the new seasons because I was hating it, so it’s a little hard for me to think fannishly about them when I disliked basically everything after “Je Souhaite” so much (as far as I’m concerned the show ends there).

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

X-Files no, but yeah I’m still very active in fandoms.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I lost all my saved fic several computers ago, but I recall loving “Blue Christmas” by Plausible Deniability and “Diamonds and Rust” by MustangSally (obviously everything she wrote was great).

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Looking at my X-Files fic, I can’t believe how short it is and how comparatively little of it there is (I have lost track of a few ficlets). It felt like such a big deal to finish anything back then! I think my favorite remains Alphabetum, which involved a tricky structure and 5 elements given by people as part of the Scullyfic Improv challenge, where you had a week to write a story around those elements.

My favorite of my recent fic in fictional fandoms is probably the GoT/YOI crossover novel I wrote a couple years ago, for a completely opposite experience to this (and proof you can grow as a writer with a lot of effort!)

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

It’s honestly hard to imagine going back (like I said, I usually don’t), but I guess I could get inspired by something.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I certainly still write, and I do have to give credit to XF fandom and Scullyfic in particular for giving me the start I got, where I really wanted to be writing good fiction. The few things I wrote in high school were just me jamming out romantic cliches, but the people I was lucky to know in XF fandom showed me that “just” fanfic can still aspire to be high quality. I am a much, much better and more disciplined writer than I was back then, but I might never have started on this path without fandom friends encouraging me.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Usually just daydreaming about emotional dynamics between characters/people, but sometimes something specific in canon or real life (I write a lot of RPF) gets me going, or maybe something I read.

What's the story behind your pen name?

When I wrote for X-Files, I picked “Sophia Jirafe” combining my favorite first name with a fancy spelling for my favorite animal (I was 18! Don’t judge!) Over on Livejournal, my friend Jintian and I initially shared an account with the same name as our website, double_helix, and when she got her own account I changed to sophia_helix, which is now sophiahelix just about everywhere. A little clunky, but I like the continuity (and I do run across old friends who remember the name).

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

The friends I’ve known for a very long time know about it, but we have never talked about it in depth. My husband, who I met not long after getting into fandom, also knows about it, and he’s encouraging and also a writer so we talk all the time. I told my mom in college and she was pretty dismissive, so we haven’t talked about it since (but my younger sister knows and is cool about it).

When I was younger, it was something I shared readily (I bonded with a new friend in law school I saw looking at LJ), but now I don’t really bring it up with new acquaintances.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I just made a Carrd the other day with all my various fannish addresses (Twitter, locked fannish Twitter, AO3, Tumblr)

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Just that it really was a high quality fandom — so much excellent long casefic, so many cool down to earth people, just generally a great launching place for a young fan. The friendships I made with older people were really important to me, and it makes me sad to see a lot of younger people now getting upset about the idea of anyone over a certain age being in their fandom spaces. I hope someday fandom can get back to appreciating that people of all ages can be the fandom type, and that everyone brings something different to the community.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 1, 2020)